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#i was gonna go into it more but listen
inkskinned · 3 months
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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shevr · 10 months
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workout mix
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blackkatdraws2 · 1 month
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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wouldntbehim · 5 months
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mix: firstprince (taylor's version)
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autisticandroids · 7 months
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
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(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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drksnctury · 10 months
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im gonna be honest, out of all the hozier songs, i didnt anticipate for Take Me to Church would be the one on Crowley’s playlist
im so normal abt this
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captaincolorblob · 2 years
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Everyday i think about this screenboard scene that got semi-scrapped from Donnie vs Witch Town, like it just explains so much about Donnie as a character and i’m very sad we didnt get to see it entirely
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#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donnie#like it just reveals that donnie has thought his only use to the team is being usefull via his tech#and feared he might get replaced or wasnt needed anymore#and instead of talking about it he bottled it up and it turned into aggression towards magic#like god we need to use this angst potentional more#cause it explains /why/ donnie was so stoneset on using his tech instead of mystic magic and kept saying how its better#and why his tech is usually gadgets or things that help him and/or his family#he thought thats all he's good for#apologies if i keep repeating things i'm a sucker for donnie angst and this makes me go wild#listen donnie vs witch town is not a high ranked episode on the tier list for me that scene next to the fight scene was the only part#i enjoyed a lot#and i wish they kept the entire screenboard in cause it explains a lot about donnies character and gives some drama#dia rambles#edit cause this post gained way more notes then i ever had or imagined i would ever have::#i am flattered and virtually high-fiveing every one of you folk that said they liked my tags#i was unsure if i should even put the ramble there cause i wasnt sure if people were even gonna read it#so if means the world to me seeing people in the notes having the same reaction towards the screenboard and liking my ramble in the tags#HOWEVER i would greatly apprichiate everyone who copypasted my tags to at least credit me#some have given credit and i'm gratefull for y'all and i understand that maybe theres still the glitch for mobile users and you can always#edit your rb#I'm not mad or upset at anyone i would just really prefer it if people at least prev tagged me#ALSO SIDE NOTE to all the folk that said they'd maybe draw/animate/write smth with this a) i put the link to the full screenboard in a rb#and b) please tag/dm me or send me an ask to inform me cause i would LOVE to see it
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i’ve been scratching my head over the whole watcher situation. I’m not a fan myself but got dragged into it cus of the people I follow, i only watched their puppet history series and the buzzfeed unsolved series from way back- honestly, i couldn’t care less if they locked all their stuff behind a paywall. I’m so neutral on this whole thing, i might as well be swiss.
but i’m not neutral? In fact, the whole thing really bothers me and i couldn’t figure out why.
cus i get it, yanno. As a company that thrives on creativity, i understand you’d wanna cut yourself off the mega-capatalist-giant that is youtube to get rid of annoying restrictions, and asking monetary support from your audience so you can really stretch the limit of your creativity. I GET IT.
And it STILL bothers me!
And then I figured it out:
the whole “any future videos they’ll be making will EXCLUSIVELY be available through a streaming service you have to pay a monthly subscription for” comes less across as “please support us monetarily so we can grow as creators”, and comes more across as “if you want to continue being a fan, or even being a part of the audience, you’re gonna have to pay up. You have no choice in the matter. It’s either pay, or you’re not a ‘real’ fan or a ‘real’ part of our audience.”
THAT’S what’s bothering me about it. It feels like they’re gatekeeping who gets to be part of their community with money (that not everyone might have). And knowing where they come from and how they started…. That’s… extremely tone deaf. To put it gently.
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grooviestsadpapaya · 5 months
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Oh gosh they’re gonna bully me aren’t they
Left to Right:
Sheik, 6’1”, 18 y/o; Bestir (Ganondorf), 5’3”, 13 y/o; Shadow Link, 8’1” (short for a shadow) ??? y/o
Valor, 6’3” 51 y/o (mid-teen); Remedy, 5’4”, 17 y/o; Lore, 5’5”, 18 y/o; Merry, 7’1”, 15 y/o; Ardor, 5’11”, 18 y/o; Caprice, 4’-, 346 y/o
Shad, 6’4”, 34 y/o; Malon, 7’5”, 41 y/o; Paya, 5’6” 41 y/o
Guys there are so many more you don’t understand
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lover-of-mine · 4 months
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Our love's misaligned...
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ricky-mortis · 9 days
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Sir John Herschel you will always be famous
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buqbite · 8 days
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I like to imagine that her gentleness is genuine
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mississpissi · 1 year
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please they’re so corny i love it
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playertwotails · 1 year
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So I've been thinking, Sonic and Tails 'fight or flight' instincts switch as they get older.
Let me elaborate.
So growing up Sonic was pure fight instinct when he was younger. Just head first into any fight and he's not backing down for nothing, he's gonna find a way to win that fight no matter what.
But as he gets older he's got Tails to look after and all their other friends that follow him into danger. So now he's more willing to take an L, pull back, regroup and think of a plan in, relative, safety. So he's still not backing down from the over all fight but he develops a flight instinct and does run away when things get too bad in that moment. (basically 'lose the battle when the war' mindset is something he develops over the years aka flight)
Tails meanwhile is the complete opposite. Tails grew up on his own only learning how to run away and hide from those who wanted to hurt him. Then he met Sonic.
Sonic not only helped protect Tails and had his back, but Tails grew up watching Sonic only have a fight instict. And little kids love to imitate anyone older than them and we've seen Tails do this before.
So Tails is just pure fight instict as he gets older, which has Sonic having some regrets™ on how he raised Tails.
Essentially what I'm saying with this whole post is as they get older Sonic is the one that has to hold back Tails from fights.  
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[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]
This is what they are. To me
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stuckinapril · 9 days
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Cianna, is it so bad that I love Taylor's music? Can we stop hating people for what they love, what (for some people atleast) literally gives them the strength to live? Yes she has been celebrated way too much, but don't you think there's a reason behind it?
Have you heard of something called a personal opinion. Why do you need some random girl’s validation on Tumblr. Why not just enjoy her music despite opposing takes
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