#but i legit was like wait hes looking at shannon the way he looks at buck

[lover-of-mine]

Our love's misaligned...

[luv-eddiediaz]

Imagine Me&You...

I legit lost the post that gave me this idea. I thought I had liked it since it was from a user I don't follow, but alas! I cannot find it. So, whoever it was pleading to Tim for like this dream/alternate universe thing, while I am not a 911 writer or show runner, I wrote a thing, cause I had to. If you don't like that I wrote a thing, send me a message and I'll take it down. Otherwise, I hope you find this, and I can tag you properly to thank your mind :)

This is not Buck's room. Buck has no idea whose room this is or how he got there. The last memory he has is the fire from their last call, and the flames eating away at everything. He remembers Eddie yelling that the beam above them was about give way, and given the dull ache underneath his skull and the veil of fog around his brain, Buck is pretty sure that when it did, it hit him square in the head. Hard too.

So, Hen probably insisted they bring him to the hospital, while Chim half joked that a hit that hard wouldn’t make much of a difference, and then when he was released someone brought him here - wherever the hell that is. 

He sits up and tries to find something he recognizes within the sea salt walls, and colonial blue sheets, but nothing looks familiar, and it’s starting to make him feel a little bit nervous. 

A prism of color caught in a sliver of dawning sunlight catches his attention to a frame on top of a heavy wooden dresser on the other side of the room. He pulls back the covers and pads over to it, but just like everything else he has no idea what he’s really looking at. It’s him and it’s Eddie, and they’re dressed in suits and there’s a Christmas tree in the background, and god, Buck doesn’t think he’s ever seen either of them look as happy as they do, standing there holding hands. 

Wait - is that? Buck squints closer to the picture to see if he’s seeing what he thinks he’s seeing when a glint of something else catches his eye again, and he finds a silver band sitting lonely in a small, wooden bowl. He rolls it between his fingertips; it’s clean, save for a few worn down scratches, and when he slips it onto his finger, it’s warped to a perfect fit. This is his ring. 

Why the hell does he have a wedding ring?

Why is this picture of him and Eddie in this bedroom?

Who’s bedroom even is it? 

“Hey, you’re awake,” Eddie’s soft voice breaks through Buck’s racing thoughts instantly bringing him peace, “I was starting to get worried.”

“H-how long was I asleep?” Buck asks, and he’s comically thankful when he opens his mouth and his voice still sounds like him. 

“Almost twenty hours now. Your vitals were fine though, so I just let you sleep it off.”

“You checked my vitals?”

Eddie laughs, and he’s closer now, “of course,” he answers, his breath ghosting Buck’s ear as he wraps his arms around Buck’s waist and presses a gentle kiss to his temple. It’s completely wrong, but feels absolutely right, and Buck closes his eyes to the moment. 

“and I’d really appreciate it if you stopped getting hurt,” Eddie adds.

“I’ll uh- I’ll try.”

“Good. Are you up to helping me with breakfast? The kids will be up soon and Christopher still hasn’t forgiven me for burning the french toast last weekend.”

“Yea, sure.”

Buck shivers when Eddie lets go. He finally turns away from the dresser to try and look at him, but the curtains are still drawn and there isn’t enough light to make out much more than his silhouette as he watches him walk out of the room, and hold up - did Eddie say kids? 

Buck is met with a sage colored wall full of photographs as he follows out of the bedroom; the years he missed when Christopher was a baby with Eddie and Shannon, more recent photos of him at the beach with the two of them, and then another baby he doesn’t recognize, but knows he should. He runs his finger along the cool glass of himself holding this strange, tiny baby wrapped up in hospital blankets and a lilac hat.

“You coming?” Eddie asks from the end of the hallway.

“Yea,” Buck answers.

“What is with you and the pictures today?”

“Just re-orientating myself, I guess.”

Eddie saunters back toward Buck, their shoulders hitting agaist each other, “well, here’s a little refresher for you then; that’s you, that’s me  -your husband in case you forgot - our son, Christopher, and our daughter, Nicole.”

“When did we get married?” Buck blurts out.

“How hard did you hit your head? Maybe I should take you back to the hospital.”

“No, I’m fine. Just a little fuzzy.”

Eddie sighs and takes Buck by the wrist to even more photos on the mantel of a stone fireplace. He points to one in the middle that has them both in the same suits in front of the same set of palm trees as the one in the bedroom, only instead of holding hands, Buck is kissing Eddie on the cheek while Eddie feigns a look of disgust. 

“June 10, 2020,” Eddie tells him, “best day of my life. Even in the middle of a global pandemic.”

“I think it was mine too,” Buck says, and he’s caught off guard when Eddie kisses him again, this time catching Buck’s lips with his, and whispering, “I love you” when he lets them go.

“I love you too,” Buck says back, and he never even knew until now just how true it was. 

Maybe it’s a dream or a hallucination. Maybe he’s in a coma, or hell, maybe he’s dead, but Buck slips into this slightly different, but wonderful world where he wakes up and makes his family breakfast, soothes his baby daughter when she falls wobbling to a plush dalmatian wearing a fire hat. This world where he talks Christopher to soccer practice because Eddie has been banned from arguing with the ref too many times, and then he walks down the aisles of Home Depot holding his husband’s hand before they all go to Buffriday at Maddie and Chim’s where his kids play with his niece, and they go back home to watch a movie with Christopher while Eddie rocks Nicole to sleep singing her an off key lullaby. 

And with the kids asleep, and the house mostly picked up, Buck lets Eddie kiss his throat and paw underneath his t-shirt until he suggests they take a shower, and Buck agree without a second thought. 

His skin burns before he even steps foot underneath the hot spray, and he knows it isn’t real as he slips his hands over Eddie’s naked, soapy body, so he kisses him hard and fast afraid that any moment he might crash back into his reality. 

Which, he knows he’s going to have to eventually, but he vows, right there on his knees, that when he does, he’s going to everything he can to make this world the real one. 

Clean, exhausted, and coming down from the high of one another, they climb into the bed and curl close like their rings nestled in the bowl on the dresser. 

“This was a good day,” Buck muses. 

“Everyday is good when it’s us.”

Buck laughs, “you’re so corny.”

“But you love me anyway.”

“I love you anyway.”

“Goodnight, Evan.”

“Goodnight, Eddie.”

[trulymadlysydney]

Syd bestie holy shit I am so confused with Shannon. I know we already talked about this but how could she say it’s not that big of deal after josh walked off when she literally just made it into a big deal? Damn she is something else isn’t she. Like honestly I was with josh on that one bc she was just being so unreasonable and didn’t listen to what he had to say.

The challenge itself also brought some surprising revelations. Like when they asked how many sexual partners the boys had? We now know it’s not Jeremy so it has to be one of the girls. But I have no clue which one. Maybe Olivia? I don’t know the search for the answer is exhausting lol. And when javonny said he would want to be coupled with Aimee?? Damn I kinda ship that like they wouldn’t work out but they’re my two fave islanders so a girl can dream. And then javonny saying that will and kyra spend all their time kissing instead of getting to know each other?? A bitch was SCREAMING the shade. I love that man

OPERATION HEART ATTACK? Bro that is going to end so badly for both of them. Like in cash’s case cinco already chose Trina over her and as harsh as it sounds I think she just needs to move on. And Olivia? I think that girl has gone off the rails lmao. When they were talking about what turns them on and she said that will was looking right at her? Like they were standing in a group obviously he’s gonna make eye contact with people in the circle. I understand that when you like someone you think everything is a sign that they like you too but will has never shown interest in her besides during the challenge today. Am I being too mean here? I just deadass think she’s seeing things when she says will likes her back or is sending her signs or whatever.

Also I don’t think it was wise for cash to tell Shannon about their plan. We all now Shannon lives for the drama and loves to play both sides. Plus Trina is her bestie so there’s almost no way she isn’t gonna tell her right? And I really hope that cash and Olivia tell Trina and kyra what they’re doing especially bc cash is so big on respect and if they just go behind their backs to graft… yikes talk about messy. But with all that being said do you think cinco or wills head will turn? I don’t think either of them will switch to be honest and then it’ll just be bad for Olivia and cash. I just think this whole operation is a horrible idea lol.

Okay and I think we’ve talked about who we’re voting for but I voted for Aimee and Wes obviously bc they’re my faves. But who do we think is gonna be in the bottom? I say Jeremy and florita and Trina and cinco.

Last thing! So casa amor usually happens half way through the season and since next week is week 3 I think casa amor is gonna happen sometime next week! Can’t wait for that drama!- E

OKAY HELLO I just watched AND I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

First off, Shannon and Josh are so weird to me d;flskdj like I hate to say it but I DO get where she's coming from, but after he got defensive she was like "woah no wait you're overreacting ew!" (I mean she's a Pisces so... that explains it kldjafl;skj) But yeah she didn't even try to understand where he was coming from. That whole thing was so stupid lol.

The challenge was MESSY. Dude I went to the Love Island US instagram and people are deadass like OMG SO CINCO'S THE VIRGIN? Like... very obviously missing his joke kdjf;lksd like the DAY he came in he admitted to breaking a bed during sex hello. I still cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out who the virgin is lmfao. If anyone I would've said Roxy but she wasn't even around for that lol. Also PLEASE I LOVE JAVONNY SO MUCH DKLFJSD;LKJ I LOVE WILL AND KYRA BUT HE'S RIGHT.

Also... I'm going to say something mean but you said something similar in the next paragraph you sent so I'm just gonna say it kdjf;lsdkj f I was legit shocked that miss Olivia was such a hot commodity among the men. Like I'm so sorry, she's so pretty and so fun but ... compared to the other girls I feel like she's boring ;akjfs;dlk 🥴

I agree, Operation Heart Attack is SO stupid and it's going to end up blowing up in both of their faces. Cash... love her to death but she neeeeeds to move on. She and Olivia both have already gotten too many people involved in this shit. We know Shannon is the QUEEN pot stirrer, there's NO way she's going to keep her mouth shut about this. As for Olivia and Will... its ridiculous lmfao like Kyra isn't an idiot, Will isn't giving secret signs. I know what it's like to like someone and think that everything is a sign but Olivia... if you don't leave Will and Kyra the fuck alone dlkajfd;slk.

See this is kind of what I was saying about why Cash is starting to annoy me. Like you said, she's SO big on respect and yet she's out here doing this? She really needs to stop thinking she's the main character of the villa. I think Cinco is gonna be tempted but no I don't think Will or Cinco are going to switch it up. I think it's going to end up SO bad for Cash and Olivia both.

I voted Aimee and Wes for sure. I feel like one couple that it's going to come down to is for sure going to be Florita and Jeremy. But as for the other one it's really tough to say... maybe Trina and Cinco like you said although I don't think they've really done anything problematic since getting together. I hate to say it I feel like it could be Olivia and Javonny...

OKAY YES I WAS GONNA SAY CASA AMOR SHOULD BE COMING UP SOON NO?? I'M SO FUCKING STOKED FOR THAT LKDJF;LKSJF I LIVE FOR THIS DRAMA AS MUCH AS IT STRESSES ME OUT

[kootenaygoon]

So,

He looked tanned. 

Spencer took a luxurious drag on his Belmont, the ember exploding like a mini-supernova in his aviator sunglasses, and exhaled swirling spirits into the early morning mist of Diefenbaker Park. It was two days after Christmas and I’d left my pregnant wife and baby daughter at home to visit his memorial bench, the day after my sister died, and together we sat looking down at the central pond in the distance. I liked that he’d finally grown out his beard again, so that it had a scraggly surfer quality. The afterlife was agreeing with him.

I sighed. “The crazy thing is I’ve been grieving this shit for years, you know? Like I knew this could happen any time, any moment. And then the universe custom-designs this perfect French Exit for her. It was like it was staged,” I said, unpacking the one-gram pre-roll I’d picked up from Vancouver.

“Like think about this: Kristina went into labour on Kathryn’s birthday this year, then one day later Celista is born. Now she dies exactly nine months later, to the day. There’s some weird math there I can’t figure out.”

Spence smiled. “You’re always looking for the patterns.”

There was sweat collecting in my hairline. I’d gotten four hours of sleep, maybe, and I’d smoked half a pack of cigarettes. My family was circling the wagons hard, my other sister flying back from Belgium, and I was being inundated with social media engagements. I knew what was on everybody’s mind: this was exactly the sort of event that could send me back into my hyper-manic tail spin, put me back in the psych ward for the third time.

The thing was, Kathryn was more than a sister. She was me. With our matching dolphin tattoos, our matching blue cars, our blonde hair and our outrageous emotions. She was the female version of me, the sister whose soul was most entangled with mine. For years I’d assumed that one day I would end up derelict in her basement, while she played at domesticity with her healthy suburban brood upstairs. 

She had my back when nobody else did.

“I know she’s still here, man. But I can’t talk to her yet. So I wanted to come to you, you know? See if she’s made it to the other side,” I said. I was crying now, taking puffs off the spliff and blinking heartbroken at the baby blue sky through the clouds. 

Spence took off his aviators. I hadn’t realized he was crying, but now I could see his eyes were red-rimmed. For a moment I wanted to lunge for him, to touch his face with my hands. Then I remembered that he wasn’t there, that he’d been dead for years. Our last meal at Royal Jubilee flashed before my eyes, the way he looked with Canuck-coloured toe nails in his boss robe. Goddamn, I loved him. 

“You know I loved your sister,” he said. “She was family to me.”

I nodded, took another drag. The last time I saw Kathryn, in the basement of our house, she was wrapped up like a Pharaoh in her bedsheets. I touched her little cheek, with Celista riding on my hip, and told her that she wasn’t alone. That she would never be alone, that we were right there with her and death wouldn’t scare us away. With my siblings lined up behind me, I kissed her forehead and ran my hands through her duck fluff hair.

“You were perfect to me.”

Spencer shifted uncomfortably. He hated when I got too demonstrative or weepy, mostly because his emotions made him uncomfortable. Years earlier, when we’d lived together in Victoria, he had a short-lived fling with my sister. I envisioned them being together, making him real family, but the circumstances weren’t right. Shortly later she was married to someone else.

Spence sighed. “I don’t know if I should tell you this.”

“What?”

He took another drag off his Belmont, then ground it into the grass. Slowly he began to explain to me how the afterlife works, how your soul stays connected to what’s going on in the contemporary timeline for a while, but eventually you transcend that. You stop haunting your friends, you stop wondering what’s going on in real time, because you’ve ascended to another plain of being. One with beaches.

“For a while there I was checking in on Taylor all the time, you know, and Shannon. It’s so much easier to be a Facebook creep once you’re dead. I know so much shit I can’t tell you yet,” he said.

“I know everything that happened to you before you met me, and I know everything that’s going to happen to you. I’ve read the whole story now, but we’re not supposed to give spoiler warnings to people who are still alive. That’s not how life works.”

I coughed a few times, and nodded guiltily at an elderly couple walking by with their dog. I hoped they hadn’t seen me talking to myself. I took a deep breath through my nostrils and tried to imagine how Spence’s consciousness was reaching me, whether this imaginary figure before me was a legit spectral presence or just another fucking delusion, like the time I thought J.K. Rowling was my Mom and G.R.R.M was my Dad.

Spencer bit his lip. “We’re not really allowed to intervene, is the thing. So I know when bad things are going to happen, but I can’t do anything to stop them. I’m at peace with it, but those are the rules.”

My heart was beating a little faster. “You knew. You knew this was going to happen and you didn’t tell me.”

A tear dribbled into his beard, and he pulled out another Belmont. “I’m sorry, man. I really am. I would’ve done something if I could’ve. I swear.”

Now I was really crying in public. “I was like twenty feet away, man. When she drew her last breath. It was like I knew I had to be closer to her, like she pulled me back into her orbit. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know what I could’ve done. I could’ve done so many things,” I said.

“What-ifs are useless, man. You did what you could. You all did. She picked a fight with a demon and it killed her. That’s all there is to it.”

I was starting to get annoyed with Spence, like the time we went on vacation together and I spazzed out at A&W because he complained about the colour of the pickles on his burger. I was going to the trouble of conjuring up his apparition, I figured at least that he’d say something comforting. But that was the thing with Spence, he always told the unvarnished truth. Even when it was uncomfortable.

“So what’s this thing you were going to tell me?”

Spence took a few trembly drags, his fingers shaking. He took a long moment after exhaling. “When I found out what was going to happen to Kathryn, I told you I couldn’t change anything. I had to watch it happen, just like you. But while you were sleeping, I went into Kathryn’s room.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “She was laying on her face, half under the covers, wearing those designer white jeans. She looked so precious, Will. Like Marilyn Monroe.”

I gasped. “Or Princess Di.”

“Exactly.”

I’d never seen Spence this emotional. His eyes were like the Grinch’s as he took another puff. He looked off towards the sand cliffs, and the waterfall where we used to come to drink back in high school. He was pausing because he was trying to work up the courage to say what came next.

“So I crawled into bed with her, Will. I put my arms around her, with her face to my neck, and I cradled her like she was a newborn. I knew she couldn’t hear me, but I whispered to her that I’d be waiting on the other side. With her Gran Dad. I told her she didn’t have to be afraid anymore.”

My joint was finished now. I pulled out a cigarette, and Spencer offered me a light. Was this a pleasing fiction, or was I grasping at some legit truth from beyond the veil? These were exactly the sort of strange thoughts that would get me in trouble, but I needed to have them. I needed to let them out. And I needed to believe Spencer was telling me the truth.

He smiled. “But I didn’t even get to the best part. This is some real Rick and Morty shit.”

I snorted. “What?”

“Again, the metaphor isn’t perfect, but time doesn’t exist once you’re dead. Everything is happening all at once, like the Tralfamadorians in that one Vonnegut book.”

“The Sirens of Titan, right.”

“So the thing is, I’m talking to you right here but you’re also hanging with me in the afterlife already. We’re all together here. And when I went into that room, I wasn’t the only one there. Your whole family was there, and not just the nine of you but all of your aunts and uncles and all these other people I didn’t know,” he said.

I couldn’t believe it. “They were all there?”

“Packed in, shoulder to shoulder. All her boyfriends had to wait out in the living room. Then there was her swimming friends, her Sauder girls, her B.C. Ferries crowd. There was so many people they couldn’t even fit in the basement suite, so a bunch of them were out smoking in the driveway. And you know who else was there? Celista.”

I wanted to believe him so bad. “Would you believe that, if you were me?”

Spence shrugged. “Probably not. All I know is what I saw. And everyone wanted to be there, to let Kathryn know she wasn’t alone. That includes you. The future you was there, like a Force Ghost from Star Wars. And you were so proud of her for how hard she fought. She was a Jedi.”

“I’ve never heard you get this maudlin before. I mean, you didn’t even believe in God. This shit sounds pretty bonkers.”

He laughed. At first it was just a surprised blurt, but then it escalated into body-shaking belly laughter. He wiped his eyes.

“What’s the joke?” I asked. “I don’t get it.”

Spence’s eyes gleamed with mischief. 

“We are God.”

The Kootenay Goon

[reddielibrary]

Til Death My Love

prompt: Murder Mystery AU

written by: Shannon | @richiefuckfacetozier

Art by @slashpalooza

word count: 2,319

*click title to read on AO3

Characters:

Butler Richworth - Richie

Mrs. White - Patty

Miss Scarlet - Audra

Mrs. Beaver - Beverly

Professor Plum - Mike

Colonel Bird - Stanley

Mr. Spaghetti - Eddie

Revered Hay - Ben

Mr. Boddy - Bill

Richworth heard the door ring and he was off to collect the last member of the night. There were to be 7 guests for Mr. Bill Boddy’s feast. He opened the wooden door to reveal a short, brown-haired man, “Mr. Spaghetti.” he greeted with a slight bow.

“Richie...I mean Richworth.”

Richworth took a moment to admire the blue suit Mr. Spaghetti wore, he looked uncomfortable in the outfit even though it fit him perfectly. There was a pink colored pocket square that Richworth plucked out quickly. “Hey!” Mr. Spaghetti reached for the small cloth. Richworth grabbed his wrist to bring it toward his mouth for a chaste kiss. He glanced up at the red face of Mr. Spaghetti, who gulped visibly as his mouth parted a little.

Richworth let go and straightened up, “The other guests are already here and in the dining room.” Richworth led the way toward the decorative room. There were plates, silverware, and glasses set up for a 3-course meal. A meal they would never get to enjoy.

“Why are we all here?” Miss Scarlet said in frustration to Richworth the second they entered the room. “Some of us have jobs you know.”

“What job would you have that involves working evenings?” asked Colonel Bird.

Mrs. White leaned toward the Colonel, “I think we can all guess exactly what kind of job she has.”

A look of pure loathing flashed across the beautiful face of Miss Scarlet. She flipped her red hair dramatically, “At least I have a job, better than being a widow with several husbands, who all seemed to mysteriously kick the bucket.”

Mrs. White stood up, “I will not sit here and be insulted by some harlot!”

“Oh sit down and shut up for god’s sake.” Mrs. Beaver took a long drag of her cigarette and blew out smoke rings. Her short straight red bob was in complete contrast to Miss Scarlet’s long curly hair. Freckles scattered around her skin like dust, more than one person in the room considered how they practically represent the souls of past victims who’ve crossed her. “You are disrupting my calming aura.”

“Don’t disrupt the aura,” said Professor Plum in his low voice. He wore a green tweed suit that accented his dark skin perfectly. His brown eyes were trained on the red wine sloshing around in his glass. “Wouldn’t want to upset that.”

Mrs. Beaver glanced across the table at him. The red pointy glasses she wore were on the tip of her nose so her eyes focused on him unnervingly. “If you have something to say, then say it, Professor Plum.”

“There’s no real science behind aura’s and you know it.” He stated, swishing his red wine and sipping it. “You bring your own positive or negative energy. No one is controlling it for you.”

She opened her mouth to argue just as Richworth rang a mini gong. The sound vibrated through the room quieting the group instantly.

“Now that we have gathered, Mr. Boddy would like to greet you all.” A smile spread over his face like he knew something they didn’t, which in all likelihood he knew everything they didn’t.

A man with slicked-back dark red hair entered the room. Everyone let out some noise of anger, surprise, or horror. There stood Mr. Bill Boddy wearing a designer suit and holding a briefcase attached to his arm with handcuffs.

“You!” Miss Scarlet rose to her feet. “Why are we here?!”

“All will be explained, me dear,” Bill said in a quiet firmness. “For now, please sit.”

She stood her ground a moment longer before the calming touch of Reverend Hay was placed on her elbow. Miss Scarlet looked at him and without saying a word, she sat back down. He patted her hand lightly then returned it to his lap.

“Richworth, please tell our guests why they are here.” said Mr. Boddy, taking a seat at the head of the table.

Richworth started at the head and slowly walked around as he said, “Reverend Hay, Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum…” He continued to the other side of the table, “Miss White, Colonel Bird, Mrs. Beaver, and Mr. Spaghetti.”

Richworth stopped beside Mr. Spaghetti placing a hand on his shoulder. The man stiffened in surprise then calmed down. “As you all know, Mr. Boddy here has been blackmailing each of you for months.” This news was met with tight lips, glares, and a bitter smirk from Mrs. Beaver. “In his briefcase is all the evidence on each of you, the only copies of the evidence. Mr. Boddy plans on giving these over to the police which could incriminate everyone seated at this table. IF you don’t do exactly as he tells you…” Richworth took a pause here, then removed his hand from Mr. Spaghetti, “Or you can reach under your chairs…”

Bill Boddy glanced at Richworth, “What is the meaning of this?” All the guests started reaching under their chairs and pulling out different weapons - knife, gun, wrench, rope, candlestick, lead pipe, metal trophy.

“Everyone has a weapon capable of killing Mr. Bill Boddy. Now's your chance to take back your lives.” At these words, the lights went out. The sound of weapons being dropped or thrown, a gunshot noise, a thud, then nothing.

The lights flickered back on and there was Bill Boddy’s body limp on the ground. Miss Scarlett let out a scream.

Richie bent down to check his pulse, then slowly rose. “One of you is the killer,” Richie pointed to the body of Bill as he looked out toward the sea of guilty suspects. “I suggest you figure it out because I called the police earlier.”

“You what?!” Mrs. White screeched.

“How dare you! What exactly do you do?” Professor Plum accused.

“I am the butler,” Richworth replied lazily, “I buttle if you will.”

“Why…” Mr. Spaghtti asked weakly, eyes trained on the body. “Why would you give us weapons then call the police?”

“Because I wanted him dead and knew you all would get the job done. Now, how shall we figure this out folks?”

-40 minutes later -

“Come on, Mr. Spaghetti! They are coming for us!” Richie gripped his hand. Their feet were loud on the wooden floors as they ran down the hallway together.

“Richie wait!” Eddie wheezed uncomfortably. “I can’t run.”

Without letting go but slowing down significantly he said, “I’m not Richie, I’m Richworth your secret lover and accomplice.”

“No seriously, Richie, I can’t fucking breathe.” He let go and they both stopped. Richie placed his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “You ok Mr. Spaghetti?”

“I hate that Bill…” he took a deep breath, “Gave me Mr. Spaghett in his murder mystery.”

Richie laughed, “At least your name isn’t a play on your father’s: Richworth...Wentworth...kill me. There’s a reason dad didn’t want me to be junior. Terrible name.” He stared at Eddie with unease. “Didn’t mean to overwork you.”

Eddie waved a hand dismissively, “Don’t worry. It’s been super fun tonight. I didn’t think I’d be quiet about being the murderer for as long as I did. But of course, you got it out of me.”

“My card said I’d assist the murderer but didn’t tell me who it was just that I had to protect my love who was being blackmailed, who would be wearing a pink handkerchief.” Richie looked around as he heard the noise of people coming after them. “Quick! Hide!”

“We need to get back to the dining room. They won’t expect us to go back to the scene of the crime.” Eddie suggested still clutching his chest.”

“They think I’m the killer, I should just sacrifice myself.” He said in complete seriousness. This was a game but Eddie had no doubt Richie would do this in a real situation.

Eddie launched himself at Richie and kissed him fiercely. They were like lovers who truly had killed someone together, this was the last kiss before they were separated for life. Richie pushed him up against the door off the side of the hallway. He reached behind Eddie and opened the door, they stumbled into the small closet. Their mouths barely parting, deepening with each uncertain moment.

Eddie’s hands went down Richie’s chest, feeling the silkiness of the rented butler suit. He smirked into the kiss laughing a little.

Richie broke the kiss asking, “What are you laughing at spaghetti head?”

“I buttle if you will. I think the whole room was two seconds away from bursting into laughter when you said that. This group has never had to be so serious for so long.”

“The roleplay has been the best part.”

“You are so natural. Bev too, I was legit scared of her at the dinner table.”

“DID ANYONE SEE WHERE RICHWORTH WENT?!” Came the yell of Mike.

They both held their breaths and remained completely still. Eddie’s heart was beating frantically. If the others found them, they would know they were working together. That couldn't happen.

Footsteps stopped right outside the door. “We should just keep running down the hall then start checking rooms." Came Patty's voice. "He has to be here somewhere.”

“Maybe Eddie tricked him into following him like he said he would.” Beverly suggested. At this Richie’s body tensed and he looked down. Eddie shook his head, eyes meeting steadily and mouthed ‘I tricked them’. Richie hugged him closer.

“Well,” Stanley’s annoyed and out of breath voice broke through, “Let’s go onward then.” Their footsteps trampled down the hallway, allowing Richie and Eddie to relax.

“I’m playing double agent my dear Richworth.” he said pleadingly, flowing back into character. “I would never betray you.”

“I know my love,” Richie bent his head to kiss Eddie chastely. “Let’s go.”

The two held hands as they quietly hurried in the opposite direction of their pursuers. They took the steps of the stairs two at a time and ran toward the dining room. When they entered the room, Bill was sitting in a chair smiling at them excitedly.

“How’s the dead life, Billy?” Richie asked with a smirk. He raised his hand and zipped his lip. “Oh right, once you’re dead you can no longer talk. Right, Mr. Spaghetti?” There was no answer. “Eddie?”

Richie turned around to see Ben holding a knife to Eddie’s throat. “Reverend Hay...put down the knife.”

“You two were in it together.” Ben said in a shaky voice.

“Not very godly of you to kill a man.” Richie stepped forward. Ben brought the knife closer to Eddie’s throat. “Put it down.”

“No! WE ARE IN THE DINING ROOM!” Ben screamed. “They are going to come and you two will be taken into custody.”

“I can’t let that happen.”

“Richworth,” Eddie shook his head. “Go, while you can.”

Richie’s eyes stayed trained on the knife. “I’m not leaving you.” His eyes flickered to the gun still on the table. “Til death my love.” He picked up the gun and aimed it at Ben’s head. “Lay down the knife.”

Ben let go of Eddie, who immediately ran behind Richie.

“You wouldn’t kill a man of god.” Ben sobbed. 

“I’m an atheist.” Richie pulled the trigger, the noise of a gun went off and Ben hit the ground dramatically.

Richie stared at his body for a minute before Eddie took the gun from him. “You were so brave,” he whispered laying a kiss on his lips slowly. “I can’t believe you killed for me.”

“I would do anything for you.” Richie responded leaning down to kiss him longer.

“I know you would.” Eddie took a step back a slow smile forming on his face. Except there was nothing sweet about it, the grin was a victorious one.

“Mr. Spaghetti?”

“Til death my love.” Eddie raised his arm and pulled the trigger. Richie fell to the ground.

The rest of the group entered the room, gasping and yelling.

“Richworth killed the Revered and Mr. Boddy. The murder is dead.” Eddie said to the room. Everyone cheered and hugged each other.

“And that’s the end of the game!” Bill said excitedly.

Richie rose from the ground quickly. “You little bastard! You lied to me!”

Eddie began to laugh, his laughter filled the room.

“What are you talking about Rich?” Beverly asked in confusion.

He frowned at the still giggling man, “Eddie was the fucking killer! He played triple agent!”

“That’s what my card said to DO! I had to trick you and kill you in order to win!”

“I was supposed to protect you from all weapons...oh my god. Damn it, Bill.” Richie turned on him. “Couldn’t have given me a little more of a tip there?”

“You let your guard down.” Bill shrugged. “But holy shit the final showdown was awesome.”

“I wish we could’ve seen it!” Audra went over to Bill and kissed his cheek. “Great writing hun.”

“Can we please do this every weekend?” said Patty with excitement.

“I couldn’t handle this every weekend. Far too stressful” Stanley groaned. “Maybe in a couple months.”

“Such a grump.” Patty poked his stomach playfully.

“Does that mean we all lost?!” Mike asked in annoyance. “Since our objective was to figure out the murderer.”

Bill grinned. “Correct. You are all a bunch of losers. Except for Eddie!”

“What else is new,” Ben grumbled. “Richie fucking killed me. I’ll never forgive you, man.”

“Awww,” Beverly went over to Ben and gave him a hug. “Poor baby.” She teased as the room laughed.

“Well,” Eddie nodded toward the door. “Shall we go check out this giant house we rented for the weekend?” The group agreed and left the room.

“Can’t believe you killed me,” Richie complained. “You got to be such a badass.”

Eddie laughed, “I’m always a badass.”

[curiousdamage]

Maybe

Day 26 of the writing challenge.  

Fandom: Cobra Kai- But I’ll Never Stop Trying Universe

I own nothing.

Johnny’s thoughts the first night Laura spends with him after starting karate.

When Johnny started teaching Miguel karate, he wasn’t really sure what he’d thought would happen.  Spend a few weeks doing what he liked and blowing through Sid’s money while he looked for a better job, maybe.  Best case scenario he’d get enough students to pay his rent, keep Shannon off his back about child support, and buy a few bottles of Coors.

What he never expected was a second chance at being a father.  He considered himself lucky when Laura came to see him at the dojo.  He hadn’t seen her for months before that.  Not since her birthday back in June actually. Even then, Robby had rushed them away so quickly after dinner that he’d forgotten to even give her the birthday gift he’d gotten her.  

Probably just as well. She probably wouldn’t have liked it. Just an old band t-shirt.  ‘Vintage’ the saleslady had called it, even though the shirt was new.  When did Aerosmith become vintage?  He’d mailed it to her, but between Shannon and Robby, she probably didn’t get it. Not that he would know.  Shannon wouldn’t let Laura come over unless Robby brought her and he never did.  

Then suddenly there she was, in his dojo.  She looked nervous, twisting on her toes, looking at the floor, as though she thought he would tell her to leave.    Like he would ever.  He’d opened his arms and smiled and she had run to him.  Just like she used to when she was little.  Before he messed everything up and stopped coming around so much, then they’d returned the favor.  It was more than he could have hoped for.

Then she asked him to come to her dance thing.  So that didn’t turn out so well, but at least she’d asked him, right?

When she’d asked him to teach her karate, he’d almost blown it, in his rush to protect her from being hurt, but she’d been right.  Nothing in the dojo could hurt her as much as the world could.  Maybe it was best if she knew how to defend herself.

That had started dinners after class.  Nothing fancy.  Burgers at the fast food joint next to the strip mall while she waited for her bus. It had been a bit awkward at first. Stilted conversations with long silences in which they’d both stare at their burgers and fries as if they were the most interesting things ever.  He’d praise her for her progress and she’d talk about school.  

Pretty soon she started talking more and more.  Chattering on about school and her friends and the kids at karate class.  He didn’t know half of what she was saying, but he was happy to listen anyway.  Sometimes, if he was lucky, she’d talk about Robby.  Something they did.  Something he’d told her about his job.  One she swore was super legit and that he had to wear dress pants to and everything.  

He hadn’t thought much about it when she’d asked to spend the night with him sometimes.  He’d just told her that she was always welcome and left it at that.  Scared that if he seemed too eager, she’d pull away again.  

But tonight…, tonight she was staying.  He’d spent all day cleaning his apartment.  He’d bought new bedding for the spare room, some nice fluffy towels, and in a splurge even a pair of pajamas, and a couple of t-shirts and pants she could leave over there.  Then he’d gone to the store and bought some snacks and some breakfast for in the morning, a toothbrush, and some girlie smelling soaps and stuff for the bathroom. Sure, she would probably bring all that stuff over with her, but he wanted to have everything she might need. He didn’t want her to have to or want to leave.  He wanted everything perfect.  If she started keeping the visitation schedule again, maybe Robby would too. He felt bad for thinking that way. It wasn’t like Laura wasn’t enough. Her wanting to come over was more than he’d ever hoped for.  But to have both of his children back…to have Laura happy…and Robby…, well if Robby would spend more than five minutes there and not glare at him like he was the cause of all the evil in the world…, well, that…, that would be more… then he should dare to hope for.

“Uh-huh.  No.  Everything is fine.  No, I promise.  Okay.  Yeah, I love you too, Brother.  I’ll see you after work tomorrow.  Okay.  I’ll tell him.  Goodnight.” Laura hung up her phone and looked over at him and smiled.  “Robby says hey and thanks for letting me stay.”

He nodded and smiled. Sure, that probably wasn’t what Robby said.  At the very least, he probably hadn’t said it that nicely.  But…, it meant that he knew where she was and that he was okay with it and that had to mean something right?  

He chose to think so as Lou cuddled up with him to watch an old movie and maybe, somewhere deep inside that hope, the one that he hadn’t let see the light of day in years, started to grow again.  Maybe, just maybe, he’d get a second chance to be a real father again.  

If he just didn’t blow it.

[cromulentbookreview]

Orange Whip!

Who wants an Orange Whip?

Orange Whip? 

Orange Whip? 

Three Orange Whips!

The world misses you, John Candy.

And by that, I mean: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon!

A world divided. 

A queendom without an heir. 

An ancient enemy awakens.

An orange with an impossibly soft rind.

Ok, so I added that last one. Only, the oranges in the world of The Priory of the Orange Tree seem to have these easy-to-chew-through rinds. Like, characters just take a bite right out of them, no problem. I mean, I can imagine doing that with a clementine, but with an orange? Like, an actual, gigantic and delicious navel orange? Not sure if I could do it. I mean, orange rind is not only tough, it’s really not that tasty. It’s all bitter and weird. You’ve got to candy orange peel before you eat it. Or, you know, just peel your orange and use the rind for zest like a regular person. Don’t get flavedo stuck in your teeth.

None of that really had anything to do with Samantha Shannon’s book. Sorry. I just really like oranges. And citrus fruit in general.

So,  The Priory of the Orange Tree!

At well over 800 pages, the book is a figurative doorstop.  And, if you’re in a pinch, a literal one, too.

I kid, I have an actual doorstop. Don’t use a book for a doorstop.

Anyway, if you’re not big into long reads, and you’re perfect novel is roughly 250-300 pages long, uh...you might have a hard time here. But if you’re willing to give it a go, there’s something oh-so-satisfying about a self-contained, one-volume fantasy epic. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s no Game of Thrones-esque situation where you’re endlessly waiting for the next book which may or may not be over 1000 pages. The whole story is there, in one big volume, no waiting for sequels. I didn’t realize just how sequel-fatigued I’ve been until I sat down and made my way through this book. No mentally steeling myself for a cliffhanger followed by a two-year-wait. I haven’t felt this way about an epic fantasy novel since Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Who knew you can have an entire world confined to one volume! Hurray!

As a slow reader, it took me forever to make it through Priory (uh...like three weeks...) but holy crap was it worth it. It’s difficult to describe the plot, because, well, 800+ pages, four main POV characters spread throughout the world...the plot goes tons of different directions before coming together in the end. But the novel takes place in a world inspired by medieval Europe, Asia and Africa. Shannon’s East, like Japan until the 1850s when Commodore Perry waltzed in, guns blazing, is closed off to the nations of the West, mainly out of fear of the draconic plague, aka the “red sickness.” Foreigners are not welcome in the East and that’s the way it’s been for a good long while, to the point where there’s a huge gap in the understanding of Western dragons (similar to Western European portrayals of dragons, i.e. winged firebreathing murderous hellbeasts) and the dragons of the East (wingless, more serpent-like, think Haku from Spirited Away). 

In the East, dragons are revered and considered gods. In the West, well, winged murderous firebreathing hellbeasts. The worst of these firebreathing hellbeasts is a massive dragon known as the Nameless One, who wreaked havoc a thousand years ago, before being wounded and left dormant under the sea. The way in which the Nameless One was bound up in the Abyss is the basis for an entire religion in the Western nation of Inys, and the backbone of the monarchy - Queen Sabran IX of Inys is said to be the direct descendant of the knight who defeated and bound the Nameless One, and so long as Sabran produces a daughter, Inys will be protected from the Nameless One. So Sabran needs to get married and have a kid, like, immediately.

Sounds great, but what do you do when it starts looking like that might not be true? What if Sabran’s existence has nothing to do with the return of the Nameless One? How do you keep the Nameless One at bay then?

That’s the main plot of Priory of the Orange Tree put very, very briefly. The story is told from four different perspectives, so...let’s meet our POV characters!

Tané: a young orphan from Seiiki who has spent her life training in hopes of becoming a dragon rider in the High Sea Guard. It is her actions that spark the events of the rest of the book.

Niclays Roos: an alchemist in exile in the East. He was banished from the West by Queen Sabran IX after failing to produce an elixir of life. He now lives in the teeny tiny Western trading post of Orisima in Seiiki.

Eadaz du Zala uq-Nara aka Ead Duryan: A Southern mage and initiate of the Priory of the Orange Tree currently embedded in the court of Queen Sabran IX, posing as a lady-in-waiting. Her mission is to protect Sabran, but she must keep her true identity hidden, as magic is super-duper forbidden in Inys.

Arteloth “Loth” Beck: A close friend of Queen Sabran IX and a member of Inys’s (Inys’?) nobility. He and his best friend Kit are forcibly exiled from court after Loth’s closeness to Sabran is viewed as an impediment to her marriage prospects. 

The novel itself begins with Tané, hanging out on a beach in the East when, gasp! A foreigner shows up. By all rights, Tané should just kill him and be done with it, but, fearing that a dead foreigner might put a damper on her chances at being a dragon rider, what with all the questions and plague checks she’d have to go through, she decides to hide the foreigner instead. She recruits a friend to smuggle the foreigner over to Orisima, the only Western trading post in the East, to the home of one Niclays Roos, an embittered doctor/alchemist who once worked for Sabran. The foreigner, a kid from Inys called Triam Sulyard, has some crazy notions: East and West should unite because the Nameless One is coming back, whether or not Queen Sabran has a kid. Niclays, of course, is far more concerned with being caught with an unauthorized foreigner in his house.

Meanwhile, over in Inys, Ead Duryan witnesses first hand the pressure Queen Sabran is under from all sides to get married and pump out a daughter ASAP because she’s, gasp, 28 and still hasn’t had that kid yet. Ead is in a precarious position at Court as she’s a foreigner and a (supposed) convert to Inys’s religion, which worships the knight who bound the Nameless One. And she’s secretly a mage and Inys is super backward about that sort of thing. Ead just wants to stick to her mission - protect Sabran - and then hightail it back to the Priory of the Orange Tree. Only some chance encounters with Sabran herself lead to Ead being promoted into the Queen’s household, and next thing she knows, she and Sabran are forming a connection that’s causing Ead to question her loyalty to the Priory.

Meanwhile, Sabran’s childhood friend, Loth, has been banished because men and women can’t be friends without people starting to imply things. Loth and Sabran’s relationship is 100% platonic, but no one cares, least of all the Queen’s spymaster, who rounds Loth up in the middle of the night and ships him off to the nation of Yscalin, which has, very recently, turned to the dark side and began worshiping the Nameless One. It’s one of those “diplomatic missions” that is almost guaranteed to end in death.

And while all this is happening, both Tané and Niclays experience the blow back of letting a foreigner into the closed East.

Also, I should mention: yeah, the Nameless One is totally starting to wake up again. In fact, his buddies are starting to go around and wreak havoc. Better have that kid quick, Sabran!

So that is the basic plot of The Priory of the Orange Tree, in a nutshell. I really, really, really do not do it justice, but to do the plot some actual justice takes an 800 page novel. Priory is nothing less than epic. In one book, Shannon manages to create an entire world, complete with over a thousand years of history, various conflicting religions, generations upon generations of royalty, dozens of nations, and a sea full of pirates. Pirates! There is pirate action in this book! Are you not convinced? I mean, there’s dragons - and not just one sort of dragon, either. Also, did I mention the whole book has a very, very strong feminist bent to it? How much more convincing do you need? If you like dragons, if you like epics, if you can make it through 800 pages, then you need to read Priory of the Orange Tree.

Funny thing is, I was over 700 pages into the book when I realized that I’d mixed up East and West. See, right-left confusion is something that legit happens to people and definitely doesn’t mean that they’re dumb or anything - it happens more often in the left-handed and women, both of which I happen to be. I’m really good at reading maps, but when it comes to actually being in place and telling one direction from the other...uh...it doesn’t often end well. I’ve had people tell me to turn left and, without thinking, I turned right, thinking that I was definitely turning left. Yeah, it’s a thing. So, throughout Priory, which is divided into chapters characterized by East, West and South, South I was able to get pretty easily. South is easy. But I was roughly 80% into this book when I realized that I’d inverted the whole map of the book’s world - I’d pegged Inys in the East, and Seikii in the West. The whole time I was envisioning people heading East, I actually had them heading West. Derp. Derp. Derp. 

It also doesn’t help that advanced copies don’t come with finished artwork, so I’ll have to wait til the book is actually out to see if there’s an actual map of the world of Priory. Having a map makes things much easier. I can refer back to a map to confirm which direction is which. 

Fun fact: most of the time I can really only tell East from West based on whether or not I can see Mt. Hood. For me, it’s always been Mt. Hood = East, the Coast = West. One of the perks to living on the West Coast. I’ve had a hell of a time establishing East from West (and North from South) when I’ve traveled to places that don’t have a Mt. Hood to keep myself anchored, direction-wise. Sometimes I just had to pick a place and determine the directions. 

How is it that Samantha Shannon is a year younger than me and has already written a series and an 800+ page fantasy epic? Meanwhile, I’m a year older than her, have finished no story I’ve actually started and have generally failed at everything I’ve ever attempted. Well, I did make some pretty good overnight oats. But it’s really hard to fail at making anything that contains both Nutella and peanut butter. 

Bah, I says. Bah. 

I need an Orange Whip.

Mmm...I should go get myself an orange.

Anyhoo! Priory of the Orange Tree. It’s good. You should read it.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of one-volume feminist epic fantasies featuring more than one type of dragon. Also, there’s pirates!

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone with no time or attention span. Or who dislike feminist fantasy for some reason.

RATING: 4.5/5 (half a point off for being 800 pages, also for some George R.R. Martin-esque descriptions of food which were not the best thing to read while recovering from a severe bout of food poisoning).

RELEASE DATE: February 26, 2019

DRAGON RATING:

[footmantravelagency]

5 Reasons Why You Need A Travel Agent - More Than Ever

Want to rent a villa in Tuscany and do it on your own? It’s simple. Just type “Villa Rentals Tuscany” into Google, then wade through the four and a half million responses - most of which look the same, whether they are good or bad, legit or bogus. Spend just 10 seconds each vetting sites, and you’ll be done in a year and a half - and still won’t have rented anything.

Good luck with that - or even with much simpler planning, like searches for “straightforward” airfares. The major search sites routinely leave out flights (lots of them) and even entire airlines. A lot of the flights they do show are ones you don’t want, starting with “basic economy” fares that hit you with tons of restrictions and fees, so the price you see isn’t the one you end up paying, along with connections way too short or way too long, ones that no responsible travel agent would let you book.

Travel agents are even more important to luxury travelers, who ironically often think they know a lot about travel and rely on their own misguided sense of expertise. But while a good agent is so vital that it is simply foolish to plan a high-end trip on your own without one, they can also help travelers of all budgets.

The reality is that while it was widely predicted that the internet was going to kill off travel agents when digital tools were placed at every traveler’s disposal, that just hasn’t happened, for several good reasons.

Shannon Compton Game writes on money saving travel tips and budget travel for Outside Magazine, not the publication I’d expect to praise travel agents over DIY. But last year she wrote a column about his subject and opened with, “I’m a big fan of travel agents, even though I could technically book all my trips through websites and apps.” She then listed the specific pros of using an agent: “They can find crazy deals”; “They will be your advocate”; “They’ll take care of the little things”; “They’re true experts” and “They don’t usually cost extra.”

True, true, true, true and true. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I have been writing on travel and related tips for over a quarter of a century. I’m an expert on the subject, and I get interviewed and publicly speak about it. Do I sometimes use a travel agent? Absolutely. When friends ask for travel advice, and they do, all the time, one of the first suggestions I always make is to get a good travel agent. My tech savviest friends use travel advisors, and so does every major corporation - because it is the smart thing to do.

“Yes, the travel landscape is changing,” said Chad Clark, principal of Chad Clark Travel Ventures in Phoenix, an expert I have known for years. “Information overload, thousands of new hotels on the scene, all sorts of new cruise ships, passport and visa issues, weather, transit strikes, political unrest, natural disasters, travel insurance, travel providers going out of business, it’s never ending. How does one navigate all of this? To avoid the travel landmines that lay in front of you, you need to get a great travel advisor! You’ll be glad you did. After all, do you cut your own hair?” Good question, but his metaphor is a little off because you pay someone to cut your hair, while a good travel advisor can often save you money.

I wrote a feature about this topic here at Forbes eight years ago, and I still get thank you comments from people who took my advice. A lot has changed in those eight years, and a lot has not, so if anything, there are more reasons than ever to use a travel agent (for the record, good travel agents prefer to be called travel advisors, or sometimes travel consultants, and those are both totally accurate, but since most people still think of the industry in terms of travel agents, I’m mixing and matching).

Clark explained it to me this way, “Travel agents are a thing of the past - they primarily booked tickets and beds. Travel advisors have taken on a much more complex role - part psychologist, life coach, executive producer, concierge, fixer, dream maker, and ‘Blink Blink’ genie, with the multitude of services that they provide.”

Whatever you call them, I could go on and on about all the reason to use one, but here are the 5 biggies.

Emergencies: This is the one most applicable to the average occasional travel. Stuff happens, and whether you believe in climate change or not (spoiler alert, it’s real), big weather events have become more commonplace, widespread and unpredictable, and sooner or later Mother Nature is going to bite you when flying. But there are plenty of non-weather events disrupting flights, cruises, trains and destinations, from civil unrest to volcanic eruptions to disease outbreaks to massive wildfires to labor strikes. And just about every year you read about an airline that went bust and shut down suddenly, stranding all its passengers. Just a week ago I traveled with owner of a large New York based travel agency who has been in the business for 40 years, and he told me they recently stopped selling their customers tickets on Norwegian because the airline has had too many cancellations and became, in their view, unreliable. But cheap flights still show up in internet searches, and you probably would not know anything about it without expert advice.

Anything that causes cancelled flights (or cruises, etc.) means hassles, but the people who get through this process the most smoothly and the ones who get rebooked first and get the few available seats out of Dodge are usually the ones who used a travel agent. It’s that simple. First off, you actually have someone to call, versus long lines at banks of airport phones masquerading as “help desks.” But good agencies are constantly monitoring their clients’ flights and they usually know about your problem before you do - and often have a resolution before you even call them. They also have direct access to airline GDS (global distribution system) and don’t have to wait on long phones holds to get ticketing changes made. It’s worth noting that according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, nearly two percent of all domestic flights were canceled in 2019, a significant increase from the previous year and the highest rate since 2014. Midway through the year, MSNBC reported that passengers were being bumped from flights - involuntarily - at a rate three times higher than a year earlier.

I’ve known Anne Scully for years, and as the President of high-powered Virginia-based agency McCabe World Travel, she is perennially ranked one of the world’s best travel agents, sits on advisory boards of major luxury hotel brands and cruise lines, and is an industry legend. She told me that, “Anyone who travels should have the clout of a top travel advisor in their pocket. To start, if the client’s flight is cancelled while they are waiting for take-off they could have us rebook and protect their journey before they depart the plane. No waiting behind 300 other passengers! We can have clients met at the plane door at a large number of airports worldwide and whisked through customs, either on to their tight connecting flight or simply faster to baggage claim - where they are given help with their luggage. Most clients don’t even know that service exists, but they only need to use it once to always request it on their itineraries.”

Expertise: No one knows everything about travel, no matter how deeply they are involved in the industry. I am an expert on ski travel, and I know the ins and outs of every major luxury ski hotel in this country. So, I wouldn’t call a travel agent to help me choose a ski hotel. But I know nothing about the hotel scene in Manilla or Sri Lanka. Some travelers cheat their way around this by sticking to brands like Four Seasons or Ritz-Carlton wherever the go, but in many tourism hotbeds like Fez, Morocco, all the best hotels are ones you have likely never heard of. This is where a travel advisor’s knowledge cannot be beat. And while even the best travel agent can’t know everything either, the good agencies parcel things up, so they have a safari expert, a cruise expert, a honeymoon expert, and so on, and they all work together.

Walter Brownell first escorted 10 guests to Europe in 1887, and 133 years later, Brownell Travel has 150 advisors. Sorry, but there’s no amount of research you can do or number of travel magazines you can read that can match that kind of institutional experience and collective expertise. That’s the knowledge base you want. Let’s go back to the 4.5 million villa hits - any good travel advisor will be able to tell you off the top of their head who you should be renting your villa in Tuscany from - and why. That just saved you eighteen months, and probably got you a better house.

Chad Clark believes travelers should, “Experience the extraordinary, not once in a lifetime, but every time!” and to showcase the knowledge base advisors bring to the table, he created a program he calls “Chad Clark Certified,” personally giving his stamp of approval to special hotels, restaurants, tours and experiences around the world. To date he’s certified nearly 700 different things his clients (or you) can reliably consider doing.

It is important to remember that these advantages are not just for luxury travelers. Good travel advisors do not just know what the best hotel is, they know what the best hotel is for you and your budget and can help you find the right fit. As we will see shortly, they can also save you a lot of money, no matter what style you travel in.

VIP Connections: Whether you are trying to book space at a coveted 8-villa safari lodge in Africa or get a room in a top Paris hotel during Fashion Week, most hoteliers keep emergency inventory and guess who gets it? The travel advisors they have known for years who book a lot of guests and send them a lot of business. It works this way with lots of things in the travel industry, from hard to get dinner reservations to the resort’s best ski instructor to a city’s top art expert as a private museum guide. Anytime there is scarcity, there is no substitute for personal connections, and the best agents have built these over years or decades. Plus we are living in the age of “experiential travel,” and good advisors create one of kind experiences most people would never have imagined in the first place.

“I had a client touring Russia who not only played piano well, but also took lessons from one of the best teachers in New York,” said Anne McCabe. “As a surprise, I arranged for him to visit the apartment of the great Russian composer Nicolai Rimsky Korsakov, and the curator invited him to play the composer’s piano, while his teacher listened over the phone his wife was holding. You cannot create those WOW moments if you do not get to know who your clients are, and what would make their holiday most special.” You also need to know the curator. Try booking that on TripAdvisor.

“This is a key point,” stressed Clark. “Travel advisors provide our clients with access: access to people, places, and experiences that could never be replicated, much less imagined. A great travel advisor has invested time and relationships in creating their ‘black book’ of contacts and relationships, so that when their clients travel, they are treated as a VIPs, not just a credit card number.” In my experience, everyone likes being treated like a VIP.

Seemingly simple things often annoy even the most seasoned travelers, but these irritants can be smoothed out by good advisors. One biggie is having your room ready to check in when arriving in Europe early in the morning after an exhausting overnight flight. I’ve seen lots of travelers, including myself, told to go walk around for hours and come back at two or three in the afternoon, even at the finest hotels. Do you think they tell that to Anne Scully and her peers?

Another one of the most frustrating recurring problems I hear in the industry - even at the top luxury hotels - is a notorious refusal to guarantee connecting rooms in advance for families booking multiple rooms (and paying a lot for them). But when your travel agent books hundreds of room nights with a hotel each year, the GM (or sales manager) will move heaven and earth to give that agent’s client - you - guaranteed connecting rooms. For the same price. Often with a room upgrade. And late check out. And a free food and beverage credit.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Extras: When you get more than you expected for the same price, that’s a great deal, and with travel advisors this happens all the time. The cruise industry is a perfect example of very large inventories that fluctuate in supply and demand each week, with a large audience of repeat customers who cruise again and again for years. The cruise lines do not want to lose the loyalty of those customers - or the agents who steer hundreds of them each year to particular brands. Yet it basically costs the line no more to have you stay in a deluxe suite than a basic room if that suite is available, and with the size of today’s ships, it often is. But who gets these upgrades? Advisors. Professionals who specialize in cruises have enormous volume clout and are legendary for routinely getting clients one or two class stateroom upgrades, free shore excursions, onboard credits and all sorts of things - for the same exact price you pay going direct. I would never book a cruise without using a travel advisor - it’s just foolish.

But it’s not just cruises.  

“In an age of automation, it may come as a surprise that many of our new clients skew on the more tech-savvy side, and come to SmartFlyer for the first time seeking guidance on their honeymoon,” Michael Holtz, founder of extremely successful global travel agency SmartFlyer told me. “The millennial generation specifically may have seen their parents use a travel advisor, but don’t feel like they need one - until they are deep in the spiral of research. By shifting gears to planning with an expert, they feel liberated from the immense pressure of choosing the ‘best’ resort - because we’re cutting through the noise of all the conflicting opinions they’re seeing online. Our team has actually been to the properties first-hand - not to mention has personal relationships with the General Managers. For example, we just had a couple fly to Canouan, a remote island in the Caribbean that they had no idea even existed before we recommended it. When they arrived at the Mandarin Oriental, the GM double upgraded them thanks to SmartFlyer’s close relationship with the property. At the end of the day, it’s all about personal relationships translating into exceptional experiences for our clients.”

One of the biggest shortcuts to freebies and extras is Virtuoso, a network of top tier travel agencies, most in the luxury realm. While agencies belonging to Virtuoso are independent and free to recommend and book anything they want - and often do because they have strong opinions - the network has specific relationships with over 1,800 travel partners (cruise, tours, airlines and 1,400 individual hotels in 100+ countries) with which it negotiates exclusive (and contractually obligated) benefits. Why are travel suppliers so eager to work with agencies and advisors that belong to Virtuoso (advisors can join by invitation-only based on their track records)?  Because last year Virtuoso members booked $26.4 billion in travel for their clients.

So in addition to the extras for personal connections you can get via people like Michael Holtz knowing the GM, anyone who books through a Virtuoso agency gets automatic perks like complimentary daily breakfast, room upgrades, early check-in, late check-out, complimentary airport transfers, spa credits and so on (specifics vary by hotel). According to Virtuoso, just the hotel benefits are valued at an average of over $500 per stay. Complimentary cruise benefits can be even bigger.

But having covered the luxury travel space for years, it seems that virtually every top advisor and agency I come across, the ones my friends, family and colleagues recommend, belongs to Virtuoso, as do all of the agencies mentioned in this piece besides the one in Travel Leaders. I just visited an amazing new luxury hotel in Italy, and they were quick to boast about having been admitted as preferred Virtuoso property - to them it was a mark of quality like earning a Michelin-star.

“The thing I love about Virtuoso is not just the quality of the advisors, but the strength of the entire network and the supplier partners they use around the world,” said travel writer, award-winning broadcaster and author Michael Patrick Shiels. “I decided to do this segment on running with the bulls in Pamplona and I had never been to Spain, so a Virtuoso advisor connected me with Made For Spain and Portugal, a partner ground supplier that does all the behind the scenes magic. They know everyone and totally set up an amazing itinerary and I ran with the bulls. In Italy, Virtuoso has an amazing local company called IC (Italian Connection) Bellagio that is totally wired into all the kinds of local things travelers say they want these days, special experiences, the best restaurants, art tours of private villas. When you ask your Virtuosos agent to plan a trip to Tuscany, it’s not just them, they have all this expert support behind them, down to the micro level. I’ve been all around the world, and before the first time I worked with Virtuoso I didn’t think I needed a travel agent’s help - now I can’t imagine not using one for anything complicated or specialized.”

Air: If you are trying to buy the cheapest round-trip economy ticket from New York to Dallas, even the best advisors probably can’t get it for less than you can buy it online, though you still have to deal with all the pitfalls of the online travel sites and you will lose the safety net advisors provide when things go wrong. But in a couple of other cases, buying your air through an agent can actually save you money, or miles, or both.

One case is when you are buying premium class tickets, Business, First or some of the even higher new classes. I have an extremely tech savvy friend in San Francisco who wanted to fly First class to Hawaii for his honeymoon, and even though he could afford it, he was shocked how much the airlines wanted. I suggested he call McCabe World Travel, and he was mystified how they could purchase the exact same tickets for about two thousand dollars less -each - than the best price he could find online, by calling the airline, or through the American Express Platinum Card travel desk. I don’t care how rich you are, if you can get the same tickets and pocket four thousand dollars that’s a good deal - plus you get all the peace of mind that comes with the advisor’s safety net. Not surprisingly, years later he still uses McCabe for all his travel. Consider this: the agency has three advisors in its air travel department who do nothing else, among its roughly 50 affiliated advisors.

When it comes to using miles, or miles and money, or just paying to fly in pricier premium classes, you might have trouble believing the miracles these specialists can work. As Largay’s Klimak told me, “I was working with a couple last year traveling to Australia and New Zealand for their dream cruise. They wanted to use frequent flyer miles, and I knew that they also had Dubai on their Wanderlist. I was able to change their flights from Business class on Qantas to First Class on Emirates - for half the mileage. We were also able to add a stopover with a wonderful desert and shopping experience in Dubai, checking two destinations off their list for a fraction of the cost.”

I use SmartFlyer for tricky tickets. Despite its name, it is a well-known, full-service luxury travel agency that does everything from safaris to cruises, but where they are better than just about everyone else is creative ticketing. I hear endless complaints from frequent fliers about the difficulty using miles, but I have found that is not the case - if you use a mileage and ticketing expert. I did a story on skiing in Japan, and SmartFlyer was able to get me to Tokyo in Business Class and back in First for $1,500 and 100,000 United miles. This was less than a third of the miles United directly quoted me for the same trip when I called the MileagePlus Elite desk, and I ended up getting more than three times the dollars per mile that most experts value frequent flier miles at.

On another trip recent trip to Bali, SmartFlyer found me flights on Cathay Pacific - one of the world’s best airlines - in Premium Economy to Hong Kong and then the five hour leg to Bali in Business class, for less than Cathy was selling the trip on its site just in Premium Economy the whole way. It just doesn’t seem possible, but it is, real tickets, same airline, better seats, less money. I don’t know how they do it, and frankly I don’t care, but if you know who to call this happens all the time (if you are not a client of SmartFlyer booking your vacation or business trip, they will charge you a fee to do the legwork and find you great deals on premium and mileage tickets, but in almost every case I’ve seen, it still saves you money).

“In terms of value, what we can do is unparalleled to anything clients will find elsewhere,” SmartFlyer’s Holtz told me. “Our negotiated air contracts, along with our in-depth knowledge of the carriers and actual aircraft, means we can advise travelers how to reach their destination at the best possible price and in the most comfortable configuration. Sometimes, this means hundreds of dollars in savings per ticket.” Or more.

Better Trips! At the end of the day this is the bottom line, the big win you get with a good travel advisor. They know more than you do, they are better connected, they have access to benefits you can’t get yourself, and they can match and often beat any prices you find. They plan a better trip and then provide a safety net. Having a top travel agent can make you an instant VIP, certainly will save you time and hassle, and quite possibly money.

Amanda Foshee is an advisor at Brownell Travel, and she summed it up nicely: “What everyone needs these days is more time and less stress, and that’s what we’re here for. Travel advisors take the overwhelming amount of information out there and distill it into the key points that apply to you - the best hotel/destination/tour for your interests, your budget, and your time frame. A client shared that going through all the information online to plan a trip would be a second full-time job for her, and I told her that’s why it’s my full-time job instead!”

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

will this be a legit tumblr fic series? no, absolutely not I just felt like writing something. Everything else will be bullet points since I can knock out like, two to three seasons in one go.

Shannon (Shan) Maywether.

Oc introduction P1

This takes place in between season 1 episodes 10 and 11 in like a mini sode I like to call "Eye of Unfairness" its a play off the fact Shan means unfortunate and unfair in Scottish (something I recently learned)

Also feel free to change out Shannon's/Shans name for your OC if you want to! I don't mind! Keep in mind this fic was made with Shannon's personality and physical condition in mind. I also wouldn't mind feed back!

Third person POV

A day had passed since the reveal of the green ninja. It was a surprise to learn that Lloyd, a kid, was the supposed chosen one. It was shock to, well everyone on board the Bounty.

It was Wednesday, so Shannon was tasked with cooking for the day. She stood, cutting vegetables for the side dish she was wiping up alongside the English breakfast she had made. Her mind was filled with ‘what if's’. As an older sister to 10 younger brothers, 4 of which that happen to be around Lloyd’s age it was startling for her. There was no telling when the 'Final Battle' will take place and what would happen during it, took the focus from the sharp edge of the blade she was holding.

"ow, damn it-" dropping the knife on the cutting board as she cursed. Bringing the cut wound to her lips she sucked on it as she searched for the bandages they kept in the kitchen just incase if kind of thing happened.

After finding bandages and bandaging the cut Shannon finished fixing up the salad. Just as she set the freshly tossed salad on the table the other residents of the ship walked in.

"Morning Shannon" "Mornin' Zane"

The other ninja mumbled a good morning as well as they took their set's at the table and began eating the breakfast prepared.

"Hay Shannon what happened to your hand?" Lloyd asked looking at the older girls hand.

"Oh, accidently cut myself." She replied placing her coffee cup down looking over at the small blonde. She ruffled his hair earning a ‘stop it’ from the boy, and chuckled at how messy his hair was now. 

The rest of breakfast went without much problem seeing as how everyone was still riding down from the adrenaline that was yesterday. It all seemed peaceful still Garmadon walked in.

Shannon's POV

Garm walked in, late as usual. And as usual we where all kinda put off with what he was eating. Dark matter grubs I think there called? Never payed much attention to this sorta thing really. I just can't get the truth we uncovered yesterday. Lloyd being the green ninja. Its going to hard for him I can tell.

Letting out an tried sigh I got up with my now empty plate and made my way over to the sink.

"Shannon, the Bounty is landing in a bit. You wanna come run groceries with me?" Nya asked as I passed her.

"Uhh, sure just tell me when you're planning on leaving." "You got it!"

____

Third person POV

As stated by Nya the Bounty had landed not long after they finished washing the dishes. The boys were outside training. Shannon seated cross-legged on the steps just watching with Wu. Garmadon had disappeared back into the ship, probably his room for the time being. Lloyd was hanging around the place too, inside reading. And Nya was getting ready to head out.

It wouldn't be for another 10 minutes till Garmadon emerged from where ever he was.

And unfortunately for everyone he was at the steps of the ship leading to where the ninja were training, and felt like causing some chaos.

Now it's not the man's fault, he has the venom of an equally evil snake brooding in his veins.

He knew he couldn't mess with the ninja, it was like a principle thing seeing as how they where tolerating his presence on the ship. Wu literally came to what might have been hell to most folks and brought him back to Ninjago to save his son. Nyas off limits, and as much as he wants to, his son, Lloyd is probably still shaken from not just the green ninja thing, but the snakes as well.

Which left Shannon.

The young lady had made it clear since there first interaction, that she held nothing against the dark lord. In fact she even played along with his bullshit if she felt like it. Best part, she can hold her own too. She may not train with the boys often but she knows spinjitzu, and has proven to be a good fighter, Shans just lax and a go with the flow kind of person.

With that in mind, he decided to make a comment.

"Not going to change?"

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Shannon questioned, she didn't bother to look at him, as she took a swig from her tea that Wu had generously offered.

"With the amount of purple you wear you might get mistaken for a snake"

"Phff, at least I don't look like a took a bath in tar"

With that, a swift yet not powerful smack to the back of the teens head was earned. It was supposed to be playful, harmless but as the force of the hit passed through the youngers head, the sound of heavy glass hitting wood made itself known. This caused the boys to stop and turn there attention back over to the steps on the deck. As Shannon looked up, it became evidently clear she was missing her right eye.

Panic ensues.

Jay, Cole, Kai, and Zane screamed at the fact there friends eye was now just gone. Garmadons just standing there questioning if he put more power than he initially thought he did. Wu went wide eyes as he stared at the girl next to him, seeing small streams of blood leak out the now empty eye socket. Lloyd and Nya came running out to only to scream themselves.

With a sigh Shannon picked up her Eye and monical that had fallen.

"Guys, chill out!" She yelled.

"CHILL OUT! SHAN YOU EYE FEEL OUT OF YOUR HEAD" the Blue ninja yelled. Pointing at the eye in the Burnetts hand.

"Its a glass eye bolts for brain's" Shan retorted.

"Glass eye?" Cole repeated.

"Yes, a glass eye! Why did you think I wore a monocle instead of regular glasses? Sure I can't see jack with my right eye but it acts as a shield of sorts!"

"I-im so sorry, are you okay Shannon?" Garmadon asked.

"Ya, im fine" she answered.

____

After that everyone had gone inside. Zane grabbed the medical kit to disinfect and put a temporary patch over Shannon's eye. Garmadon had taken the glass eye and with the recommended disinfectant Shannon just so happen to have on her, put the bloody thing in a black glass cup filled with warm water and the disinfectant liquid mixture, to clean it. He may be the bad guy, but he's never really hurt anyone to the point they lose something like an eye.

Once done he gave the glass to Shannon who was now sitting in the armchair.

"So, umm how'd you uh- you know lose you eye?" Kai asked weirly, he feared there might be some sort of trauma along with it and didn't want to trigger it.

"You don't have to tell us!" Nya quickly added.

"Na its fine" Shannon said as she waved off there concerns.

"I was about seven when it happened. Home invasion. The guy had a gun. I had heard sound from downstairs and curiosity got the best of me. I think your all smart enough to piece together what happened next" she said. Everyone kinda relied back at the mear mental image.

"Yikes" Jay, shivered at the thought of it.

"I mean it’s not all that bad I guess. Altho I didn't have a say in whether or not I got a fake eye"

"What do you mean you didn't get a say in it?"

"It’s exactly as I say it is. When I woke up my depth perception was crap, but I had both my eyes. It wasn't until the doctor told me my parents were admit about me having one"

"So are, you like going to be ok or?"

"I'll be fine green bean, if anything this was a good thing, means I need a new one. Thankfully I shot my brother text about one lot long ago." Shannon said dismissively

"Brother?" Wu questioned.

"Okay, Nya you ready to got out?"

"Ya but it can wait-" "I'm good, I swear Nya lets go" the older girl instead as she got up and dragged Nya out the ship for their planned outing. (She put the glass with the eye in the table as they left)

"Well that was, concerning" Cole said as the two girls disappeared.

____

It was around midday the girls were not back yet. Jay was still unnerved by the eye in the cup being in such an open area, moved it over to the kitchen counter. Training was cut short because of the incident. Wu taking into account not just the mental impact of one of his charges eyes popping up in front of them, but the buildup of stuff they'd been having to deal with since his absence. Besides when the girls get back they all need to talk of a plan to get the Fang Blades back from the Serpentine before they can awaken the Devourer. 

Wu and his brother where out front on the deck talking, it felt like forever to the two of them since they last spoke in such good terms. The guys (pluss Lloyd) where inside playing video games as a pass time. It wasn't long after when the sound of a car, a taxi, could be heard coming there way. As the taxi came to a stop the guys had logged off there game and stepped out to grate the return of the only two females on their team. 

But instead of the raven and green tipped brunette haired, a blond tipped brunette boy stepped out the vehicle (not before paying of course) and made his way over to the Bounty. 

“umm, dumb question since there aren't many flying ships around, but is this the Destiny's Bounty?” The Boy asked as he neared the ship. upon closer inspection the boy was wearing a leather jacket with a white under shirt, and jeans with a pair of black converse. He had a mailman bag slung over his shoulder. 

“ya it is, what bring you all the way out here though?” Cole answered as he crossed his arms. attempting to look menacing which seemed to be working.   

“uh, I came to drop something off for my sister, Shannon?” The boy answered.

“Shannon, as in the monocle waring Shan?” Jay asked 

“yes! that one!” 

“Cool, Cool... wanna climb on board?” Kai asked him.

“Would I!” The boy, Shannon’s brother made is way up on the Bounty.

“By the way, what you name” Zane asked as the brunet dorded.

“Shane, Shane Maywather and might I say it’s a pleasure to meet the guys my sister has been staying with after all this time.” He, Shane replied.

____

“wait, so let me get this straight” Cole stood with his hands on his head, clearly confused by what was said. 

Its been about an hour since Shane was let on borde and the guy could see why his sister liked it here so much.  

“there are 10 of you? including Shane makes 11″ Cole sated. Shane just nodded as he let the earth ninja racape what Shane had told them. Wu and Garmadon where in the kitchen intently listening to the conversation they were having.  

“yup, Shan and I are the oldest, there where are the quads; Jason, Mayson, Tyson, Carson.” He started again listing his younger siblings.

“Then the triplets; Asher, Carter and Xavier. Then the last set of twins; Franklyn and Merlyn” Shane finished. 

“No wonder Shannon can deal with us so well” Jay said looking astonished.

“ya she had to deal with 9 younger brothers and one older one” Kai remarked. Shane snickered before correcting him.

“Shannon is the oldest, in fact despite us being twins, she’s technically a year older than me.” 

“But isn't being twins, like two people being born on the same day?” Zane inquired.

“True, but you see, my mom had Shannon on december 31st 1995, at around 11:55pm, I then happened on january 1st 1996 at 00:02am in the morning” Shane explained.

“dude” Jay commented. Shane laghed.

“yup,Shannons the ‘big sister’ of the house” He said glancing about.  

“i'm surprised though, i though Shannon would have at least mentioned something about you guys to us” Lloyd pipped in. He enjoyed Shannons company she made him feel welcome. And when she caught him setting up the prank for Kai as his uncle had asked him to, she gave him some pointers on how to eviscerate Kai’s high score. Even took some pressure off him as she stayed in the room in anticipation for the fire ninja so they wouldn't get too suspicious. To learn Shan had several younger brothers, like Jay commented, meade scene in how she was not only dealt with them but was able to deal with his father so well.

“Honestly,it's do be expected. Because Shannons the oldest our parents are hard on her... We come from a fairly well of family to the point where money is more or less a play thing to our folks” Shane started, the ninja(pluss Loyd)went wide eyed.

“so you're saying you guys are rich?” Jay asked dumbfounded. Shane fidgeted with his fingers.

“Y-Ya pretty much. But Shannon, and our parents, they... They don't get along at all. For all i can remember, the only time i've ever had with Shan was when she wasn't in any of her classes or extracurriculars. They pushed her to be perfect, and at the same time pushed her away. Looking back there where countless arguments over a lot of what they where doing” Shane said looking down at his lap. 

“There was this one argument that just hit the nail in the head though, a couple years back, it was during dinner and our parents had invited a business associates family over. They had a son, about three years older then Shannon and I. Our parents had announced that he would be Shannons fiance and thighs went downhill fast” Looking up once more Shane let a had run though his hair as he relieved the memory. The guys were taken aback by this, seeing as how Shan was arguably one of the most level headed people they knew. 

“sounds stressful” Kai quipped not really knowing how to respond to that, bur as a brother to a sister himself he could understand the feeling of not wanting your sibling to do be forced into doing something they don't want to. 

“You don’t half of it” Shan said with a sigh. 

“After that, she stormed out never to be seen scene again. At least physically, she managed to keep contact with me, we talk but not as much as either of us would like...” He finished leaning back and letting the surprisingly soft couch engulf him. 

“I’m glad though,she deserves a break after everything” Shane commented.

“ya well if you call fighting an army of skeletons, snakes and eventually Garmadon a brake, then you my friend are in need of a vacation as well” Jay replied plopping down next to Shane with a dorky grin. The tenshin that had been building in Shane dissipated, yup he could really see why his sister liked it here so much. 

____

Dropping the topic of who much his and Shannon's parents where that talked about other random things. It was a little bit later when the girl got back.  The two where catting about, something girl related when they walked into the main room of the Bounty. 

“Hey! Welcome back! And guess how came to visit?!” Jay sang, gesturing to Shane who was seated next to him. Shannon looked over at her bother in shock she thought-

"Good to see you again Sister!~" Shane said as be bolted form where he was sitting to envelope Shannon in a hug. As he did Shannon dropped the bags she was holding, seemingly shocked that her blood brother was here. 

“Shane?” She breathed, then hugged him back, leaning into it. 

After a bit the two separated.

“It’s good to see you again Shane! How have you been?” “Good, good, what about you? what happened to your eye? Where is it?” 

Shan laughed a little and shook her head.

“There was an accident this morning, Garmadon hit the back of my head and it just popped out” Shane stood still. Taking in the information. Once complete he turned and tried to lunged to where Garmadon was, if it wasn't for Shannon having grabbed him in that split second. He probably would have gone into a full on fist fight with the dark lord. 

“Lemme go! I'm going to eviscerate him!” Shane hissed struggling against his sisters grip. Thank the First Spinjitzu Master that Shannon trained with the boys ocashinaly. 

“Calm down little brother it was an accident” “Like HELL”  

The two go back and forth a little more till Shane camls down. Garmadon rightfully spooked at the fact that this, well mannered, e-boy looking, kid was threatened to ‘eviscerate’ him. 

“Fine, I won’t attack him, doesn't mean I won’t like it” Shane said mutting that last bit. 

“Seriously (1)Balach Milis, if you applied this anger properly, you wouldn't have to deal with what Eric and Lizzibeth right?” Shannon said as she let him go. picking up the grocery bags, and placed them on the counter. 

“(2)Flùr Gaoithe, you know when it comes to Mama and (3)Athair I can’t do do that!” He complained like a small child. 

“You really need to grow a backbone” Shane said shaking her head.

___ 

Things had settled down since then.  

“It’s getting late, I should get going, I have band practice tomorrow and need the rest.” “boo, skip and just stay here for the week” “Flùr Gaoithe” “Balach Milis“ 

With that The younger twin got up, gave his sister the new glass eye she had asked for, said his goodbyes, shot Garmadon one last glar, and left. 

“Your brother seems like a nice person” Gramadon said looking over the the greet tipped girl. 

“Ya, he’s awesome. Wish he was less of a pushover tho” 

Jay feeling thirsty, walked over into the kitchen. He spotted the black glass cup, completely having forgot about the eye inside it. Now you can't really see anything at the bottom. And Jay, in his infinite wisdom, thinking it was just some random cup of random water that had been left on the kitchen counter, and drank from it. 

“OH GOD” 

 “Did Jay drink from the eye glass?” Lloyd asked his uncle who was watching from the blue ninja form the table.

“He drank from the eye glass” Wu confirmed. The others erupted into a fit of laughter and giggles. 

__________

 (1)Balach Milis - Sweet boy  

(2)Flùr Gaoithe - Wind flower 

(3)Athair - dad

this was translated using google translate, the language being Scottish Gaelic. I know Ninjago was based off of asian culture. But like I said, Shan it scottish for unfortunate and unfair. Also nothing in the lore of the show explicitly states that Ninjago is the only continent on the planet. 

I HC that there are different parts of the world. its safe to say Ninjago is the main land where a lot of the exciting things happen, but across who knows how long away there are different countries. And Shannon’s family like immigrated to Ninjago, during it’s early years where big contributors and financial support, in building the city. 

but ye this is a mini sode, i came up with. criticism is always welcome! I will be doing bullet notes for Shan and Melody, and maye Gold to since i have an active fic about her that i haven't updated in, forever but yaaaaa. 

till next text post i guess lol                          

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Maple April

 Warnings: Unbeta’d, unedted, unediteed, unedtd, oonedted, Your life is awesome as long as you’re happy with it, okay? Okay, Ily <333

Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word Count: 1.8k A/N: Requested by anon! Hope you like it, hon :D I enjoyed writing this a lot, okay? I don’t even know. I’d love your honest opinion on it, hope you can excuse some rushed mistakes and all (point them out if you find them, would ya?) and I genuinely hope you enjoy!

This sucked.

Honestly, you were blatantly lying to yourself while coming here. Deep down you knew it was going to suck, you knew you’d regret coming, you knew you’d end up wanting to get shitfaced more than you’d want to stay sober, yet you still came. You still pressed “Going” instead of “Interested” in the stupid Facebook page your old classmates had created and you still put an effort into your outfit, thinking that maybe, just maybe, time would make them grow out of their trashy attitude.

Surprise, surprise. That wasn’t the case.

The millisecond your foot passed the doorframe, you regretted your life choices.

“Oh my gosh, April is here!”

“It’s Y/n, Shannon” You smiled awkwardly at the leggy blonde that somehow had grown even hotter than her senior-year self. The world was unfair, you’d decided. Her C cup boobs almost burst through the seams of her shirt, waist tinier than a stick and ass bigger than the damn seat. Lord knows how many drinks she had been offered in the past ten years.

“No it’s not!” Shannon scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “Guys! April is here!”She called again, seeing as no one responded the first time. Sigh.

She pulled you forcefully by the elbow, causing you to stumble a little but everyone seemed to be confused for a second as to who you are. That was until a guy -was it Jack or Jason? - yelled “OH! Maple April!”

“That never even made sense, Justin” Said Clairie, the only normal and actually friendly girl your old class had to offer. She had grown a little taller, a black pixie cut with blue tuffs adorning her head instead of her waist-long raven hair.

“Holy shit, Clairie, you look great!” She gave you a hug, still shorter than you, and nodded her thanks.

“You do too, Y/n” At her appearance you felt a little more optimistic about this night but it was all shattered when she declared she had to run because, wait for it, her younger kid, as in she has multiple,  was messing with the babysitter and his brother.

Clairie. Kids. Wow.

Try telling her past self she’d end up married with kids. The Clairie you knew would punch you in the face.

You thought of your own love life and quickly pushed the thought away, realizing it was almost non-existent.

“So, Maple April,” for fuck’s sake, Justin “what have you accomplished in the past ten years?” Somewhere between yelling and gaining the attention of many bystanders that had only come to enjoy a drink in peace, they had thrust a glass of Johnnie on the rocks in your hands and started asking questions. Many had boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés or husbands and wives. Others had kids or a successful career, others had published novels or traveled, or all at the same time, and here you were.

“Well… I opened this small little coffee shop in my neighborhood. It’s going pretty well; I bake my own pies and all. It’s great, I love working there.” You grinned. You had wanted to open a cozy, tumblr-like coffee shop since you were a teenager and you were so proud of yourself that you had done it finally, and your facial expression showed as much.

“What, that’s it?” Justin asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s all you’ve done in ten years? Open a coffee shop?” And then he started laughing. The rest of the group followed along, some doubled over, others looking at their significant others in that ‘pff- she-can’t-be-serious-can-she’ face.

“No husband? A boyfriend, even?” another girl, Margaret, asked in disbelief.

“Well-“

“Hey, sweetheart.” An unfamiliar arm wrapped around your waist and the smell of musk, clean clothes and rain clouded your senses. “I’m so sorry but I couldn’t find a spot to park, the parking lot outside was filled to the brim. I hope I’m not too late.” Your eyes dragged up the muscular, plaid-clad chest, meeting two brilliant green irises.

You did not know this man but, dear lord, he was gorgeous.

It was about time someone asked what the hell is this oddly familiar looking stranger doing right now?

His eyes were almost pleading but something told you he wasn’t pleading for forgiveness, like he was pretending to. He was mentally pleading for you to play along.

A whirlwind of emotions ran through your mind in less than a second when you confusedly concluded, ‘Hey, why the hell not?”

“Uh-I, uhm, su-sure, it’s- it’s fine” You cleared your throat “You’re not?” You furrowed your eyebrows for a second, hearing your statement come out as a question, and gave him a tight-lipped smile, the brightest blush in existence covering your cheeks.

“So? Won’t you introduce me?” He asked, laughing lightly and nudged you subtly. His shoulders slackened a little, seeing you play along.

“Uh r-right.” You turned to your old class, meeting seventeen, absolutely flabbergasted, faces. “Guys, this is my b-boyfriend? Uh-“

“Jensen” He nodded and smiled brightly at everyone. Shannon’s jaw was almost agape.

“Mapl-“She cleared her throat “April, you didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend!” She gushed. “And a famous actor, none the less!”

“But I did tell you my name is Y/n, not April” You muttered, partly for the sake of sarcasm and partly to inform the man beside you that your name was not April. Jensen’s eyes glinted at your comment in amusement. He tightened his hold on your waist lightly.

Wait, wait, wait, hang on. A famous actor?

You peeked at Jensen curiously, trying to remember if you’d seen him before.

Your eyes traced his face, beginning from his fluffy hair that was trimmed at the sides, to his crinkled forehead, perfectly constructed eyebrows –where they plucked? They had to be, no one has such perfect eyebrows naturally-,  ridiculously colored, forest green eyes that reflected the bar’s lights beautifully, a nose that was almost as straight as a ruler but also the tiniest bit crooked, indicating he had had his fair share of fist-fights in his life, plump lips that looked really kissable and to his jawline, one that was so sharp it could cut a damn steak, you were sure of it. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and like a flash, your mind cooperated and sudden realization dawned on you.

Holy fucking shit.

Jensen Friggin’ Ackles, celebrity, declared hottest man of the damn year from a famous magazine, has his arm around you and is pretending to be your boyfriend.

Uhm, wHAT?!

“Hey” Jensen waved at everyone. Shannon moved quickly towards him, laying a hand on his arm and blinking repeatedly. Justin leaned and whispered something in one of his old friend’s ears, eyes still trained to the man who, for some reason, decided to play pretend in your favor and somewhat rescue you from this situation.

You were confused, to say the least.

“So, Jense, you-“

“Only Y/n gets to call me that”

“Who’s Y/n?” Shannon knitted her eyebrows.

“Uh, my girlfriend?”

“No, no, her name is April” Justin insisted.

Jensen huffed “I think I would know my girlfriend’s name, man” Justin quirked an eyebrow. Jensen looked at me expectantly.

“But… Maple April? Where did that come from?”

“You’ve been calling my girl by the wrong name for the last fourteen years?!” Silence.

Your ‘boyfriend’ looked legit pissed. Well, he was a great actor and all but his eyes glinted with fury, arm protectively tightening around you and the vein on his neck popped up. You could see a fight erupting in a matter of seconds, which both confused you because you don’t know this person that has their arm around you, and warmed your heart a little because even if he was a stranger he cared for you in a way no acquaintance or friend ever has.

You worked on instinct, placing your hand on his chest with gentle pressure and feeling tiny bolts of electricity run up your arm at the touch. Jensen’s eyes turned to your petite frame and saw your pleading expression to please don’t start this, it’s not worth it, and something inside him cracked.

He too was dumbfounded by what great big bags of dicks you had involved yourself with. They had known her supposedly through the entirety of high school and yet they didn’t even know her frigging name! If that wasn’t all kinds of wrong he didn’t know what was. A voice in him told him it was weird to react with such intensity, he didn’t know you, he just saw you suffering from afar and decided to step in. He decided to ignore that voice. He kissed your forehead and muttered “Come on, baby, let’s go,” his arm moving from your waist to your shoulder, pulling you outside.

Only when the chilly air slapped you in the face did you realize what just happened. He dropped his arm from your shoulder and shoved his hands in his pockets.

October had just rolled and both of you regretted not having worn at least a jacket of sorts. You shuffled closer to him, discovering that his arm and torso produced warmth that both of you could use at the moment. You stopped walking next to a random car, looking at the stars. You watched your breath become a small cloud in the air and breathed out a little harder to see it form, letting yourself feel the goosebumps that appeared up your arms and legs. The silence let your mind register what the hell had just happened in such a short amount of time.

“Thank you” You decided to speak up, eventually. “I don’t know why you decided to do it, or why you even bothered, but thank you nonetheless.” Jensen smiled gently.

“It was nothing, really” He looked down at you skeptically before pulling his fist from his jean pocket and motioning towards you. “May I? You look… kinda cold” You quickly slid under his wing.

“Hmph, don’t blame this on me, Mister, you are as cold as I am” Jensen smiled and nodded, licking his lips.

“So, coffee shop, huh?” He asked, genuinely interested. He had heard that?

“Yeah, coffee shop.” You bit your lip, battling with yourself for a second. “Would you like to see it?”

“You flirting with me, Maple April?” Jensen teased you, a cocky smirk forming on his face.

“Last time I checked you are the one having your arm around me” You bit back, chuckling.

“Fair enough.” He stated.

“So? What will it be?” Oh God you’d be pretty fucking embarrassed if he said no right now.

“I’d love to”. Both of your smiles were stretched from ear to ear and a small feeling of accomplishment swelled up your chest. You led him to your car and to your beloved coffee shop, ending up having one of the best nights of your life.

@deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester

@deanssweetheart23

@easelweasel

@nostalgic-uncertainty

@twentyoneredsocks

@dancerwithapen

@mogaruke

@superseejay721517

@blackcherrywhiskey

@super-nerd-atural

@andi-winchester

[allthatwehear]

so i don’t forget.

I don’t really want to be writing this. In fact, I’m pretty mad about it; I’m mad at him, frustrated at him, but I know there were a lot of self-growing moments, and it would be nice to document them for future-Sarah to read. Because though it was brief, that briefness was filled with laughs, and late-night drives & swims, and boos, and feeling good about my body, and cigarette smoke and listening to his friends play their guitars and sing. And it felt like a glorious little dip into summer; like someone opened a portal, just for a quick moment, and I got sucked in & felt deliriously unlike myself but so, so happy for the difference of it. Of course it spat me back out; I think things that are too good to be true often are, too good to be true (or last). And so I am writing this feeling a bit reluctant, a bit melancholy (a lot, melancholy, actually) but after I have all the details out, I can choose when or not I want to look at this again/think about it again.

It all started at a march. a busy weekend - now that I’m remembering, it was a few days before, I was talking on the phone with my mom, I think telling her how badly I was doing with depressive thoughts, and it made her happy to hear that I was going to Sonja’s for the weekend (probably going to ride some horses), on my way to Marta’s house for 4th of July. Sonja and I were going to go to a protest on the capitol, Olympia, on the 4th of July & I just thought that was so cool. I saw Jonny running around and being all cool; he was part of the protest team, literally, and even Sonja’s grandpa gave a speech. Jonny came up and said hi to us; I was wearing a black, long summerdress, which reflecting on feels really stupid because you don’t exactly like, dress nice in a march: more of dress practically. My big ol’ flower mask. I didn’t think too much of Jonny, my eyes mostly distracted by the fucking BABE in the wheelchair (you know who dat is), but Jonny constantly caught my eye, too. He was wearing red suspenders. And long black pants. And damn. The suspenders made his butt look so good. And he longish blond hair in a scrunchy -- a scrunchy -- and in a way that was kinda nerdy and very Gundersen-esque. So no I didn’t think he was sexy; but I thought he was artistic, and farm-ey, and very, very passionate. I think he looked at me a few times. Knowing now, Luke was there too, and he looked at me a few times too. Later in the day, Sonja encouraged me to reach out to Jonny because he is very involved with protests “in Seattle, too” and I immediately found him on Instagram. I asked if he’d like to go to some protests some time. 

I think just two days went by and this guy, was already asking to call me (mind you, I’m running on grief-fumes which basically means nothing -- and I’m like, a fucking phone call with a stranger..? you’ve got to be kidding me..) I was out on a run, so I was like, why not. He talked to me as he was driving home from his parents home, in Bellingham. We talked and it was super natural; he was lighthearted and fun. And we tried to brainstorm a protest for that night. But in the end he asked me to go get beers at a park/by the water. And I declined, and hungout with Shannon & Hannah cause that’s what I preferred. I sent him a pic of Shannon’s lizard though, BirdLady, for fun. 

We finally met up at Gas Works on a super hella busy beautiful evening. He was sitting there with his bike. I was not attracted to him at all. He had this bushy blond mustache and I was like, haha I don’t think I could ever be attracted to someone with a mustache. So I decided that night he’d just be a sweet friend. And we kept talking and had alllll these similarities. He grew up homeschooled (what the??), in the church, pretty sheltered, had a big family, had some family issues. He is an artist; he went on tour with his brother, Noah Gundersen, instead of going to college & sometimes that was something he felt inferior about. Sometimes he thinks about going to college? But he read a lot & we agreed that honestly, with our homeschooled upbringing, we’re pretty damn good at just self-teaching. He is Sonja’s cousin, so he knew her farm well. He said he was almost gonna be there the day I bucked hay with Sonja’s family, and I thought how funny that would be, if he had been there. He was really sweet. And sort of invited me to come hangout later at his place, but I was so deadbeat tired from just socializing -- I was still a drained little kiddo. 

And things sort of flourished from there. We met up at some actual protests and that was a fucking blast. It was for ICE, the second one, and I watched them all on their bikes be complete badasses. And people started to break windows at the courthouse or something and Kenzi & the girls I was with were scared. But I got this huge push & fuel in me and I wanted to keep going, so essentially I dragged the girls to join bike brigade with me and we tailed them around. Jonny was still in suspenders and he still had his hair tied back. I wondered what he would look like without his hair tied back, with it loose, and without his mustache. 

Things were really rocky and weird at first with Jonny -- perhaps that’s why this hurts even more, because I eventually overcame the uncomfortability and kept trying -- until I did feel super good and super happy -- and then all of that effort, for it to come to a halt. I don’t think anyone understands how hard that was for me, to push myself in such different angles to be Jonny’s friend, to be a part of his world and life. But Sonja told me last night not to change for people -- because if you do, “how far are you going to go?”, and I think that was true. It rang through my head, “would it mean I would literally make myself polyamarous for him? Am I seriously fucking considering that -- would I consider that?” Jonny never said he was looking for a relationship. We actually never defined anything at all. But we spent so much time together; like literally, almost every other day, I’d wait out on things until he texted me that afternoon, and it was off to Seward Park to dip and drink and talk, or to Niah & Luke’s house where they made us an incredible salmon dinner and sang us some of their songs, or it was a barbecue and a few firepits at Jonny’s house.. 

One of the second times he wanted to see me, it was like a movie. I was taking a dreary walk to Fred Meyer & back. Not sure who I talked to on the phone on the way (as is my custom), but probably like my mom. I was feeling fucking depressed. I’d say that if I go on walks to Fred Meyer it tends to be cause I’m fucking sad and I just need to like, walk, but then sometimes the walk makes me more depressed. Anyways. Jonny was sort of buggin’ to hangout. He did that a lot; bug to hangout. But at first the hangouts felt pretty sexually-driven; often offers to “come over and watch something”, some ish. I’m not kidding, I was hella scared and intimidated by him -- yet I didn’t leave..? Idk. Something got me, I guess. I spent more time with him and fell for him; how it goes, I guess. But I remember this night. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get myself to fucking try any new hangout with a new person today. So I told him, straight up, that I was sorry for my flakyness but I’ve lost my sibling recently. And it was a flood of sympathetic, very kind messages; offers to bring ice cream, to watch parks and rec, to bring something uplifting and sweet. And we talked/joked back and forth a bit about some things. And he was rapid-fire responding. And it was really really sweet. I felt comforted by his kindness, in that moment. And some of the other times I’ve seen him, by the fire, when he is telling me about his older brother and the sexual assault allegations that were unraveling, he expressed that I could tell him things about grief if I wanted. That he wanted to know about it because he didn’t know much about it. 

And I think I just started to fall for this guys heart. I got through the initial INSANE worries of “oh shit he just wants to sleep with me” “damn he’s moving really fast; asking me to stay the night after the first fireplace hang cause he’s ‘very attracted to me’”, him telling me openly about his sexuality (or, like, his sexual rhthyms/patterns I guess..? thank god, he doesn’t just jump right into sex,” but it seemed to make him think for a bit “what he actually wants”, and I had to send some messages to him and communicate a lot. And reflecting on it, I don’t know exactly how I got whipped into comfortability/those hesitancies I had before didn’t apply anymore -- it just kind of, happened. And we moved slow & we did things outside his room - date things; things that I agree would appear relationship-like to ANY person experiencing them. 

His musician boys fell in love with me. And I sort of felt like this queen. Being in the presence of and hanging out with this legitimate rockstar - 

I learned to like the fucking dark moles on his back. And I found and listened to his music on Spotfiy; and I fell in love with “Paste” and he told me it was about a girl from awhile ago. And he said he was messin’ around with non-monogamy because he often gets lost in his relationships, like sort of codependent & I just thought that meant that he falls/loves too hard, and that that was similar to me and I told him, driving to South Park to visit Niah & Luke for the first time. And I felt like I swooned whenever he took out that reddish/velvet scrunchie, cause his hair would come down and I could smooth my fingers through it. And there was legit the second night we spent in his bed together, that after kissing/just sort of being together for a bit, he just looked at me for the looongest time with slightly slanted eyes & I got so uncomfortable, I said “what?” and giggled & felt hella awkward, but he was just looking.

And there was the night I sat at the teach-in, recorded-speech evening at Jimi Hendrix park with ATIYEH. & I walked up the steps to see Jonny & his gang, hanging out and drinking and I remember being annoyed that they brought drinks to an educational event and I mentally questioned his true allyship. And he was wearing suspenders, and a low (LOL, purposeful, eh?) button-down shirt and I felt soooo attracted. And I was wearing an oversized blue tee with my hippie pants on that make my butt look fucking FINE. Oh, and I was with Atiyeh. Think I was slightly pissy at Jonny that day for some reason. I think it was because we had that morning/night where he had to “question” what he wanted (whether he wanted to be with me?) because I had told him I didn’t want to have sex yet/that’s complicated & I don’t know what I was looking for -- just to have fun, sort of, but I am also going through hella shit. And it felt like that was a barrier for him and I hated that and thought that I should be important enough not to have to be physical with. So I showed up with Atiyeh. And we both stayed & talked to an artist for awhile. But I was feeling fucking ansty and like I wanted to go into some fucking water or do some crazy shit so I pulled up with them at  nude beach in seattle and oh my goooooooood, I legitimately almost fucking left, like turned around and left. then I found them, some chica totally naked and Jonny standing, dressed (for me, lol) with toes in the water. I bonded with Niah that night and he called me a water-rat because I stayed out and swam under the moonlight for awhillleeee (they’re pussies, smh) and we kidded about overalls. and conversation was really fluid with Jonny & we actually talked just, a lot. about what it’s like to be a woman & the fear of running/walking around at night, near-death experiences we’ve had before. We talked about our favorite seasons and I said Fall, and Jonny asked if I’ve ever made homemade apple cider and I said no, and then he said “we should go to the Olympia farm this fall and do that” & I didn’t realize that he was thinking of me this way. what kind of non-monogamy shit was this? talkin bout something to do together in the fall? Surprised that I’d never been to Bainbridge and said “we gotta go”? Texting me in colorado, while I’m at home with my family, thinking of me & saying that we should go kayaking when I get back -- that he wanted to take me kayaking when I got back? 

And I can’t really fathom how quickly/how strangely it all sort of.. fell apart. And how even still, it doesn’t feel like it’s fallen apart, and most nights I’m waiting for him to get off work to text me & ask me to go somewhere/do something with him.. and the conversation just kind of got less & less.. And once I sort of called him out on him getting back together with his ex (or “seeing” about it) and when on earth was he going to tell me.. I think I just, lost his interest or something. I wasn’t his taste anymore. What, cause I wasn’t being a “cool girl” about it? I don’t even fucking know. but i didn’t see any of this coming & I thought things were just going down a really fun, really cool path, and I was gonna have these people around for awhile longer. like it was all only just beginning. That of course, with the way Jonny had been treating me/been so kind/legit inviting me everywhere to everywhere with all his friends, that meant I was something special, right? Something significant? 

His friends literally call me part of their “pod”! They text me how am I! They call Jonny and I “cuties” & thank us for staying the night! What! The actual! God damn! Fuck! 

You want to hope that things will make a drastic shift for the better; that in a couple days, or in a few weeks, maybe he’ll text me and tell me he realized how stupid this all was & wished he hadn’t hurt me this way. that little doe she know, two of his closest musician friends told me they “are now equally mine”, and maybe sometimes when he shows up at their house, I’ll be sittin on their porch lookin pretty, sippin wine and maybe smoking a few cigarettes. there is that part of me, as I’m sitting home alone tonight instead of at golden gardens, with those hilarious, sweet boy goobs, that Jonny is going to call tonight or text me, or maybe the boys will usher him to come talk to me. There is that hope that I will be chosen; that there was a reason for all the places he took me and times he hung out with me -- that it wasn’t only truly going to lead to heartbreak like this? That there will be an outcome, and it will be good.. there is a hope. that is wasn’t for nothing. it wasn’t just for me, sitting here crying. or spacing out on the floor. not wanting to move. to breathe. just playing music. I’d like to think that he made a mistake. And he’ll try to reach out to talk to me, any minute now. 

But there’s a wedding this weekend and what are the odds that he brings his ex. But there’s a trip to Montana he’s going on and what are the odds he’ll fly her there, too. But I’m not there tonight even though I suggested I might be and he calls her up instead, to come on over. What are the odds this was just meant to end like this and I was a stupid fool. A grieving, mourning, stupid fool. 

Last night I imagined what I would say if he showed up. Or if maybe he did tonight, at my door. If he tried to talk to me or apologize. That I would say “you fucked with the wrong person,” no really, you fucked with the wrong person. I’m barely holding on. I’ve gone through way more shit then you even fucking know about, and you just added more to my plate. You just added more pain then to what I am already fucking experiencing. You fucked with the wrong person. You should’ve been gentler. You should’ve taken the hint. i told you even before we had three “dates” what the fuck’s been going on. You’ve seen it on my instagram. You fucked with, the wrong, girl, at the wrong, time. You shouldn’t have done this. 

But this is the fucking reality of it. This is reality, bitch. I wish I had one of those on/off emotion switches they talk about in Vampire Diaries. I was just whispering to myself, “off, off, turn it off” -- turn of those damn fucking emotions. Stop. Feeling. Stop. Fucking. Feeling. Them. Right now. 

[kotlc-oneshots]

2 am rant

Ok I've been considering this for a while now but it's something that needs to be said. KEEPER is by fAR my favorite books series, maybe ever, but like,,, OH MY GOD THERES SO MANY THINGS -the world is shit. Like, it's this perfect place of happy magical wonders, and like,,, NO. It feels like there's too little culture, too little developmental errors that's have just become general flaws in the society, etc. it's bland, and there's so many flaws and plot holes- like if they live all over the world how do time zones work????? I understand that "oh hehe they're basically magic but it's all SCIENCE" is supposed to fix everything but really, take some more time to develop the society as a whole. We see way to little of that already with Sophie being who she is and like,,, it needs so much more development and culture and ugh. The universe is like a huge building that towers way to high for its crummy foundation and broken windows. -Sophie. Oh god I could go on for hours. HOURS. About how terrible of a character she is in general. Not a terrible person- character. She's undeveloped, COMPLETELY. We have almost no information about any of her past and that's boring. We literally know more about Dex and the way he's lived than we do about pre- first chapter of keeper Sophie. And that's NOT good for a main character. I may be a tad over exaggerating but if we dont know more about Dex then we definitely know more about Tam and Linh. Like- I know we might get more with the next book, and we most likely will get a LOT more. But the thing is- WE HAVE FIVE BOOKS OF CRAP ABOUT WHAT MAKES SOPHIE SOPHIE. GOD, THATS AGITATING. Her past is so empty and all i can remember off of the top of my head is she had a tradition of having alfredo once a week (I think it was Thursday???) and that she beat a fifth grader in a spelling bee in kindergarten. ((Idk maybe it's cuz she read the whole encyclopedia by then and had a photographic memory.)) Not only that, but she's,,,, BORING. CLICHE. OP. HONESTLY, I hate it. Giving her two powers? That was enough. Oh wait there's anoth- anot- fuck more- DAMN IT PLEASE NO. I swear, she pretty much got a power a book. Like,, no. She's cliche af bc EVERYTHING SHE DOES IS SO PREDICTABLE. It feels like Shannon is trying to mash this perfect being into an anxious and fearful meat suit and like,,, I get the anxious and fearful but in general her personality is more bland than uncooked spaghetti. She's not INTERESTING. Shannon tried fixing it with humor but it doesn't working on Sophie. When she made that joke? With the stark flower stew? I cringed bc THAT WAS SO UNNATURAL GOD. I'm sorry but personality= negative 0. She's legit my least favorite character bc I can't relate to her, I can't connect to her, I can't see myself in her, I can't feel empathy for her (for a smart elf she's a freaking dumbass a lot of the time) I'm not able to connect with her. Sure she was put down a lot in education and has been through some crap but like,,, it's hard to reflect on that and see myself in her bc she just kinda,,, ugh. Honestly if I was put in a room with her, hitler, and Joseph Stalin, I'd shoot her then myself. GOD. -WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DIVERSITY. And I'm not talking race- wait yes I am. It feels like there's way to few poc for a species that's so bent on diversity that they ruin marriages and destroy families to achieve it. Then there's the fact that there's no mention of LGBT. SOPHIE LITERALLY LIVED IN SAN FRANCISCO. g o D HAVE MERCY BC IF THE BOOK IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIVERSE AND ACCEPTING SHOULDNT IT AT LEAST HINT AT SOME LGBT STUFF. -"you can wear whatever you want ya just for beauty blah blah blah" my ASS. Sorry della, but if that were true why the fUCK isn't Keefe going around wearing dresses and nice ass makeup??? One of the things that points that girls are degraded is the fact that guys aren't expected/ allowed to wear feminine clothes. It's not just about what girls wear, it's about it not being looked down upon to be 'girly'. GOD. There's so much more but I've been writing for over half an hour and it's 2:21 am so,,, yeet. /also why is Keefe and Tam teased at one point for wearing more hair product than Biana? Is it because it's... *gasp* gIrLy!?!?!?!?!? NeVeR!!!!!

[evenstevensranked]

#34: Season 3, Episode 7 - “Raiders of the Lost Sausage”

Louis accidentally discovers that there might very well be buried treasure under his house and he’s determined to retrieve it. An Indiana Jones parody ensues. Meanwhile, Ren and Larry are literally tied together by the school guidance counselor in an attempt to end their rivalry. It’s quality content.

The very first minute of this episode lets you know right away that you’ve hit good’ol zany as hell Season 3. It opens with an emu being delivered to the Stevens house. Yes, an emu. Louis ordered one on a whim one day. We get a flashback to when he ordered it, which is pretty great. He called the totally legit and not completely asinine sounding company “Emu For You” and started awkwardly dancing to the jazzy elevator hold music. 

Steve is the one who has to accept the emu delivery and is obviously furious. The bird immediately starts eating a family photo and I love how even in a professional, dressy portrait -- Louis is still wearing a Hawaiian shirt. 

I want a relationship with someone as strong as the bond between Louis Stevens and Hawaiian shirts. 

Louis is currently in the basement with Twitty and Tom, “bowling” with a frozen turkey and some soda bottles (the usual) -- when suddenly the frozen turkey goes flying through the wall, revealing a suspicious small tunnel. 

Steve confronts Louis about the emu and Louis pulls some lame excuse out of his butt for ordering it. He says they should start breeding emus. Steve is all “Breed emus.... With one bird...” pointing out that lil flaw in Louis’ idea. That’s pretty funny. There’s a bit here where Eileen finds a giant emu egg and interrupts their conversation through the basement window, and gets attacked by the bird. You don’t actually see it happening though, all you see are feathers flying everywhere. Steve goes to help her and he too gets attacked. I always cringe at this, tbh. It’s just one of those wacky Season 3 gags. Anyway... Louis, Twitty and Tom agree to meet up the next day and investigate the tunnel. 

Now, onto the subplot! We see Ren and Larry in Principal Wexler’s office, in trouble for accidentally pieing him in the face. They had the responsibility of choosing a new dessert for the cafeteria and couldn’t agree on one. They were goiiiing to pie each other, but Wexler walked between them that exact second. Of course. They’re still fervently arguing in front of Wexler so he decides that their rivalry has gone too far and they need to work it out with the school guidance counselor.

This photo makes me relate to the “....now kiss!” meme. 

Louis does some hardcore research on what that tunnel in the house might lead to and comes to an... interesting conclusion. He discovers that a man named Grover Frazee, creator of Frazee Sausages, owned the property their house is built on. He became super rich off of the company and Louis believes that he most likely buried his fortune at the end of the tunnel. Something interesting: take a look at the opening credits for the episode...

Written by SCOTT FRAZEE! Dude legit named this sausage guy character after himself, lol. I always thought that was cute. I’ve said many times before that the writers are always throwing personal things in. I love it. Check out Grover’s bio though... yikes. 

I’m not sure I’d be proud of that legacy. Also, he died at 43 years old... Pretty young. Maybe he ate a contaminated sausage and croaked. Also, all this talk of sausages feels like another innuendo. This show has no chill. 

Louis put so much effort into his analysis, though. He treated it like a freaking college research project. Again, if he put this much effort into actual school assignments, he’d give Ren a run for her scholastic money. Tom is pretty great here. He starts singing the “We bet, you’ll go crazy... for that great, taste of Frazeeeee” jingle. It’s fantastic. 

Ms. Shannon, the guidance counselor, decides to try an experimental exercise with Ren and Larry: Physically tying them together for 5 school days. As much as I looove this subplot, this always bothered me. Mainly because, how the heck does Ms. Shannon expect that to work? What if they have different classes, or need to be at different places at the same time, etc? We get a montage showing how they struggle with stuff like this throughout the day. The only issue is that the length of the leash dramatically changes depending on the scene. It’s so frustrating!  

They clearly kept changing the length just so certain ideas could work. It bothers me so much, lol. I’m also 100% positive that’s not even where Ren’s locker is. 

Louis, Twitty and Tom get to work shoveling out the tunnel. They bring in Beans to be their “dirt moving specialist” which is so annoying. He carries dirt in his pants from the basement to their laundry room like an idiot. They literally spend a minute showing him walking back and forth past Steve. It takes so long for Steve to catch on, it’s... ugh. 

Why is he standing on the top of the little mound like that? lol. He says he’s putting the dirt in the laundry room because “there’s a big, scary bird in the backyard!” 

Steve obviously goes down to the basement and catches them in the shoveling act. Twitty asks Louis what he’s going to do with his share of the money and Louis says “You know I’ve always wanted to travel. Help out the folks. Might even buy the old man a nice toupee, ahh?!” -- Unfortunately, Twitty is gone and replaced by Steve. We get a legendary Louis Scream. Can we talk about how Louis has always wanted to travel, though??? I suddenly want to see a happy Louis Stevens backpacking across the country later in life... oh wait. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Shia LaBeouf is Louis Stevens, y’all. The similarities never end. 

Steve is piiiissssed. Louis tries to explain that he’s done his research and there’s definitely... probably... buried treasure there. But, since Louis is always goofing off, Steve is convinced it’s another one of his crazy “half-baked schemes.” “NO! IT’S NOT HALF-BAKED! IT’S FULLY BAKED!!!” Louis insists. Steve basically temporarily grounds him. There’s a great bit with Donnie eating an emu egg that Eileen cooked for him. They’re delicious apparently, so she starts to see the bright side to having the bird around. “When life gives you lemons!” she says. And Donnie’s all “.......no, mom. They’re eggs.” What an underrated character. Steve walks in and starts complaining about Louis. Donnie pulls a 180 and tells him “You don’t have to believe in what Louis is doing. Just believe in Louis.” Dang, Donnie coming through with the proverbs. Steve takes this to heart and starts looking into Louis’ research. 

Louis is so smart when he wants to be. Steve appreciates this.

They make this scene into a trippy sequence with eerie tinkering piano in the background as Steve remembers Donnie’s reverberating words of wisdom. I’ve always really liked this. We think he’s hearing Donnie’s voice in his head, but it’s actually Donnie creeping from around the corner saying the sentence repeatedly. “I heard you the first time, finish your eggs!” Steve says. This is hilarious. Immediately after that, they make the hands on a clock spin out of control, making it seem like hours and hours are passing by while Steve looks into Louis’ research. But then Steve just walks up to it and says “...I gotta fix that clock.” I always thought this was so freaking funny but to this day my mom doesn’t understand the joke and it drives me craaaaaazy! Louis comes downstairs to apologize, and to his surprise... Steve is on his side now! They team up and start diggin’ for that treasure! While they’re digging we get two of the greatest lines in the entire series:

Steve: “Louis.... why aren’t you at school?”

Louis: “...Why aren’t you at work?” 

THIS IS SO PERFECT! I was going to point out that Louis, Twitty, Tom and Beans all should’ve been at school the whole time... but I was waiting until now to bring it up. TV shows always mess up timelines like that. This was such a hilarious way for the writers to acknowledge their mistake. So good. Mr. Scott Frazee and Co aren’t totally out of the woods, though. Louis and Steve are in the same clothes for basically the entire episode. But Larry and Ren’s subplot tells us that at least two days have gone by. Either Louis and Steve didn’t shower or change clothes for 2 days...... or they messed up. Oops. 

Back at school, Larry and Ren are tangled around a tree (again, the leash was like, a foot long when they were trying to get at their “lockers” -- but now it’s conveniently long enough for them to get tangled around a tree.) They’re stuck and talk about how this experiment has only made them resent each other more. 

But the longer they hate each other, the longer they’re tied together. So they both immediately get the idea to become fake fast friends so that Ms. Shannon will remove the leash. After frantically untangling themselves, they return to Ms. Shannon’s office and act all cuddly -- gushing over how well they get along after only two days! They say things in unison and Larry even calls Ren “silly soulmate.” Omg. Ms. Shannon agrees to untie them. 

They leave the office giggling and laughing at how they successfully tricked her, without realizing that the experiment worked, lol. They’re actually getting along and it’s beautiful ok...

I had to include this overabundance of screenshots because look how precious!! This episode always manages to remind me how SALTY I AM over the fact that they never got together. What a power couple they could’ve been. A giant missed opportunity for a big series finale plot twist, if you ask me. They slowly realize that they’re getting along and are freaked out. They start yelling the same exact sentences at each other.... in unison..... because they’re silly soulmates. That’s the end of the subplot. 

Back at the Stevens house, Louis and Steve have made it to the end of the tunnel. *dun dun dunnnn.* They reach a tiny door and use an extravagant key conveniently left under a little welcome mat before crawling inside the cave -- where a giant golden sausage is prominently displayed. 

This is another one of those moments where I notice how much Shia LaBeouf and Tom Virtue actually look like father and son. Also... as a critically thinking child, I always thought “how the hell does this cave even exist? It’s not like it’s under the basement. The layout literally makes it just another room next to the basement. So that entire cave, with a ridiculously tall ceiling, would need to fit under a section of their house. Improbable.” It sucks not being able to suspend reality sometimes. 

They approach the sausage and realize it might be booby-trapped. So they end up pulling an Indiana Jones. They even have Louis say, “I saw this in a movie once... You know what we need? A counterweight or something!” Slick. 

But also like the famous Indy scene, the cave starts to collapse. Steve says “.......is that an.... ominous rumble?” which I love. For whatever reason, Steve runs away but Louis stays still for a ridiculous amount of time. In fact, just long enough for the ground to break and leave a giant gap between them. Louis makes an (iconic) jump for it: 

Unfortunately, he drops the sausage once he reaches the other side and it falls down the gap into the great unknown. This makes me so incredibly frustrated every time, lol. But, they couldn’t exactly let the Stevens family become millionaires right? 

And that’s it!! The main plot of this episode was never one of my personal favorites, but it definitely gets a whole lot of iconic points. As I mentioned at the beginning, this is a zany Season 3 plot, which have always been a lil difficult for me to get into. But there’s no denying that Louis’ jump is hilarious and the whole idea for this episode, including the title, is golden (no pun intended.) Not to mention this is yet another episode that eerily predicted Shia LaBeouf’s future. We all know he went on to star in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Say what you will about that movie.. but... He was in it. Which marks another strange parallel between Louis and Shia tbh.

And of course, I absolutely adore the Ren/Larry subplot. It’s like, THE episode to convince you that a romance between the two of them should’ve happened. It’s just great honestly. 

Thanks for reading! Do you have any thoughts on this super memorable episode? Sound off below please! (Seriously, getting one little comment on here makes my day and reassures me that I’m not talking to myself lol) 

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[brattonblogs]

#1

OUR PARIS TRIP: 2017  

As a 21st birthday present my boyfriend Scott took me to Paris for a 4 night city break. Paris has always been on my bucket-list of places to visit, so you can imagine the tears and excitement when I opened my birthday card to the surprise. 

My birthday was in January and our trip was booked for April (and its look this long to write a blog post on it) so we didn’t have too long to wait for the trip. 

We has plenty to do while in Paris: sight see the tourist attractions, celebrate my belated birthday, go to Disneyland, we seen Ed Sheeran in concert, we went to a PSG football game and me and Scott celebrated our 5 year anniversary while there too. 

SIGHT-SEEING

Of course it would not be a Paris trip if we didn’t visit the Eiffel Tower at least once. Our hotel was very central to the Eiffel tower, a short 10 min walk or a stop away on the metro;

side note: I would highly recommend getting a travel card, we used Navigo passes, for the trains and metro. We bought ours in Charles De Gaulle airport at a help desk, which cost less an 25Euros each- saving us at least 100Euros worth of travel each during our stay. Its a unlimited use card but be careful of the expiry as they can only be used during certain days, so best to Google or ask before buying, but they worked great for us. All you need is a passport style picture to use on your card or you can use the booths in the airport- very simple, almost everyone has one, so someone would know what you’re talking about if you had to ask for any help with it.

ok, back on track…

The Eiffel Tower- a beautiful sight during the day and at night. As an anniversary date me and Scott toured the tower at night-time, which I would recommend for the view alone. It cost us 14Euro each as they have an under 25 deal which got us a discount. The flashing lights come on every hour and last around 5 minutes, which gave me just enough time for the perfect Boomerang and Instagram picture #tourist. 

As the night-time tours tend to be more popular even at 10pm the queue was wrapped around itself as people waited to buy tickets and use the lifts that take you to the three levels. A cheaper ticket option is to use the stairs instead of the lift (only lets you to the first floor though) with over 1,710 stairs, for the extra one or two Euros i’d take the lift unless you’re into that kinda fitness or don’t want to visit the middle and top levels. I would highly recommend if you’re not afraid of heights or glass lifts. 

ED SHEERAN 

 It was either a lucky coincidence or a sign from Ed himself that the night we would arrive in Paris, Ed Sheeran would be playing the  Accor Hotels Arena during his Divide Tour. Two standing tickets cost us under 100Euro, so I would consider that reasonable to see one of our fav artist in a beautiful city. Scott and myself have seen Ed play before and seeing him again in Paris was an unforgettable experience. He never fails to deliver and the crowd atmosphere was amazing, if given the chance I would do it again. 

Only mistake we made is that we waited for what felt like hours in a queue to be told when we got to the doors we were standing in the seated queue and that we should have been in the standing queue that whole time- putting that one down to different procedures from back home going to gigs and everyone standing in the one queue and a slight language barrier as our ticket was in French, oops. Aside from that small mishap, an amazing night. 

DISNEYLAND PARIS

Disneyland Paris was one of my favourite things we did while in Paris. We bought our tickets online prior to going on a website called Travel Republic, which was recommended to me for buying attraction tickets from a work colleague who had used the website before. The site is legit and easy to use so would also recommend using to buy tickets.

Disneyland is definitely a whole day trip, meaning its hard to fit all of the rides, shows, sights etc into the one visit. I would recommend taking advantage of the free fast past system they offer for the bigger attractions. You simply go to the rides that are included, go to the fast pass machine and scan your ticket for a small coupon type ticket to come out with a time to return to the ride. This means you don’t have to wait in the standard queue to ride, instead come back at the allocated time frame and wait in the fast pass line- the wait is cut down from being up to 1 hour in the standard queue to 10 minutes in the fast lane. But of course there is a catch- you can only get one (or maybe two) fast pass tickets at a time, meaning you have to either ride the ride first and then collect a new one or wait for the time on the bottom of your ticket to tell you when you are eligible to collect a new fast pass. Simple enough and even with the one per person its a good way to find time to go eat in the many restaurants as you wait or a good way to explore the park to pass time.

The food offered in the park varies in prices and quality depending on what location you choose to eat in. We downloaded the official Disneyland Paris app which showed you all the restaurants with their prices points, the style of food and the operating hours (the app requires data to use so not very good as the park has no public wifi- however Scott had 3G as his data plan is covered in Europe, which was a great help, although there is paper copies of maps and you could always ask for help if needed.) The food can be expensive depending on your taste so bare that in mind when planning a trip, however anything can be done on a budget if need be. 

If you can, stay for the street parade show. At 5pm the Disney Princesses and characters paraded down the main street in their costumes and fancy floats, making for a great show. They sing, dance, act and wave to the crowd. People of all ages gather to watch the shows, so its something for everyone, not just people with younger kids. It is worth the watch and its on for no longer than 1 hour- so it doesn’t take up too much time.

We used our Navigo passes to get us to the park and back again, there is a train station within the park so that was very handy and saved us money and time as well. 

PSG GAME

Scott being a football fan wanted us to go support the PSG team and go enjoy a game of football. It’s very clear the crowd love their football team as everyone was chanting and cheering every chance they got. I’m not the biggest football fan so I was glad the stadium had free wifi to keep me occupied while Scott enjoyed the game. Overall was a good experience and it was good knowing Scott enjoyed himself, he got a PSG scarf on the way out and we made our way back to our hotel, using the train/metro and our Navigo passes. 

OVERALL 

Paris is a beautiful city and a great place to visit, it was always on my to go list for a reason so i’m very glad I got to experience it for myself with someone I love- I would go back in a heart beat. I cant thank my boyfriend enough for giving me such an amazing holiday and allowing us to experience such a great place together, making new memories #cheesy. 

If given the chance please go and experience it for yourselves and if any of my tips or experiences helped that’s a bonus! 

Shannon. xo

[rhina988]

Indecent Proposal - Chapter 1

I got an amazing request from @legolasothranduilion to start writing this story, and the idea was so incredible that I couldn’t deny it. I honestly hope you’ll like my interpretation of your vision, and that you (and the rest of you guys) will enjoy reading it. 

By the title itself you may figure out what the story is going to be about, but I won’t reveal anything juicy. :)

Feel free to comment, and leave feedback, and thanks for reading.

Melody’s POV

“These fucking reporters will seriously drive me crazy one day”, Jared said and tossed the tabloid across the yard.

“I told you not to go to that after party, but you just had to, didn’t you?” Emma bickered at Jared not looking away from her iPad. I swear this woman was a robot. And one of my idols for sure. She’s working 24/7, and Jared doesn’t even try to make it easy on her. 

“Don’t I deserve some fun? Can’t I relax the way I want to? No, because being a rock star and an actor, director and everything else I do just puts me under the spotlight that I don’t even want to be a part of” Jared was frustrated and started pacing across the yard. 

“Melody, would you please take care of the next week’s flights and hotels? I have to take care of this weeks errands” Emma asked me, still being all in her iPad.

“Of course, no problem” I said and immediately started browsing through available flights. Jared had to travel to New York, and later to Milan so I was helping Emma arrange everything. She hired me as her assistant almost a year ago, since she was too wrapped up with planning her wedding, and of course dealing with Jared’s job and life. She needed all the help she could get at the time. And now she got used to having me around, so I stuck around. Hopefully for a long time.

Jared wasn’t so pleased with that decision of hers at first, but since she really had too much stuff going on, he decided she could hire someone, but the final decision had to be unanimous. Which basically meant that he’s the one deciding who’s in and who’s out - as always. That man always had his way with everything. It’s either Jared’s way or the highway. 

“Melody...? What do you mean... Emma, are you even listening to what I’m saying? ” Jared started to freak out and raised his voice at Emma.

“I can’t take your drama right now Jared. I’m in over my head with work, and you are wining like a little girl. You made this mess, and I’ll fix it as always, just stop the drama. Please!” Emma said seriously and gave him a stern look.

“I’m not making any drama. I’m pissed for a reason. This is the third damn news this week, and they’re turning me into a freaking playboy. And I didn’t even kiss any of those girls, let alone something else. You know I hate these kind of shit.” Jared started hissing at Emma.

“If I said I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it” Emma raised her eyebrows and pointed her finger at him letting him know she’s serious.

“Fine. But why is Melody doing your work? She’s supposed to be doing small stuff you can’t do, not something so big as my flight. Do you want me to end up in Michigan instead of Milan?” Jared was determined to insult my competence, which he used every opportunity to do. 

He did like my resume, and he approved Emma’s choice to hire me, but he was never fond of me. I could tell. I just didn't know why. I was always quite and inconspicuous, I never gave him any reason to dislike me. Still, he was never pleased when I was around.

“Stop being an ass. She does her job flawlessly, and I completely trust her. You should start doing that too.” Emma defended me as every time before. She was wonderful and I loved working for her, even though technically I was working for Jared. Still, he never gave me any orders, so I just pretended I worked just for Emma.

“Whatever. How do you plan on fixing this?” Jared rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Come with me” Emma said and started going inside “Melody, you can stay here. Finish the job and you’re free for today.”

“OK” I said and continued to look through flights.

Jared’s POV

“So, what do have up your sleeve Em?” I asked her and sat on the couch.

“You’re gonna get married, that’s what” Emma said with a straight face.

“Ha ha ha ha, that’s a good one. ” I said and laughed like crazy “Now, seriously. What’s the plan to get me out of this paparazzi, tabloid, mess?” I expected a serious answer this time.

“Did I stutter the first time? You’re going to get married.“ Emma said and raised her eyebrows at me. Not making any funny face. She was dead on serious.

“You’re joking right?” I started looking around “Did Shannon put you up to this? You’re pulling a practical joke on me, aren’t you? ” I said and looked at Emma still looking at me without a single frown on her face.”OK, you’re serious”.

I stood up and started walking through the living room.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be till death due you part. It can be a temporary solution. You’ll announce that you’ve actually been engaged for quite some time, and that these last reports were really hurting her so you decided to make it public. Even though you wanted to keep her as hidden as possible, this was the final drop and you decided to tell everyone you’ll marry her soon” Emma had this all figured out apparently. But I was still a bit dizzy from the whole idea.

I didn’t say a word, since I was trying to think this through, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine that solution of Emma’s.

“So? What do you think?” Emma asked and looked at me pacing through the room.

I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair, putting my hand on my mouth and closing my eyes.

“I’m not sure... I guess it could be a good fix up... The rumors would stop for some time.” 

“They’d stop for good. Especially if you start going everywhere with your wife, instead with the guys. This way they couldn’t have anything on you.” Emma was trying to convince me to do it. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” I said and set next to Emma on the couch “But who should I ask to marry me... Well, fake marry me”

“No, no... the marriage will be legit. The city hall, party, everything.. It has to be real, otherwise nobody would believe you”

“I know that, but the two of us wouldn’t really be married at home, or anywhere else. For the public is one thing, but everything else would all be fake” I said and covered my eyes with my hands, taking a deep breath.

“Right.” Emma said and tapped my back trying to make me feel less stressed.

“So, we still have to find the bride. I can’t think of anyone that would actually do it.” I said and looked at Emma expecting her to have the solution, as always.

“I can” she said and wiggled her eyebrows “Melody.”

I immediately started laughing “Good one, Em“ I said and nodded, still smiling a bit “Seriously, who did you have in mind?” She didn’t say a word just smiled at me and leaned her head to the left. “You’re serious right now? Melody? Your assistant, and the last girl on Earth I would even consider dating, let alone marrying. Have you completely lost your mind?” I was baffled by her choice.

“Think about it, she’s the perfect pick. Quiet, nice, smart, hardworking, trustworthy, pretty, knows everything about you and your world, handles everything around here... Plus, she has no family, so she wouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone, which makes this plan even better and easier to work out. Who knows, you might even end up falling for her” Emma said and nudged me. 

“Yeah, right, like that would ever happen” I said and couldn’t believe what she just said “Wait, what do you mean has no family? I didn’t know that...” I said in shock.

“That’s because you were too busy trying to find her a flaw. And she doesn’t have any.”

“But, how do you even know she’ll accept the proposal. I mean, she clearly knows I’m not her biggest fan, so we’ll have to tell her everything, right?”

“Yes. We’ll keep her in the loop, that’s the only way you can execute the plan without a mistake. And if she doesn’t accept it just for the sake of helping you, we’ll offer her money. That she definitely won’t refuse.” Emma’s really a pro. I couldn’t believe she had everything thought through.

“Wow... This is just... ” I sighed and started to think about everything.

Was I really ready to make my first, and possibly only marriage, with someone I barely knew, let alone cared about? Were all those headlines worth this trouble? What if they figure out everything, and on top of that, I turn out to be a liar, which I am actually ready to be just by accepting Emma’s suggestion. But if the public finds out everything was a lie, my entire carrier could go down the drain. Not to mention my family, the band and my friends. What would they think of me? There’s simply too much at stake. But then again, Melody is kind of a real sweetheart sometimes, even though I don’t really like her that much. She does have the cutest smile, and that innocent look that sometimes makes me think that there are still pure, kind and honest people in this world. This is gonna be a tough decision to make.

Read Chapter 2 

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Let me know if you’d like me to tag you in the next chapters.

Hope you enjoyed it.