#i was hospitalized soon after this event and finally got on meds

[the-entity-down-the-street]

DREAD'S KNIFE PROJECT

Knife I tried to kill myself with in 2020 came in the mail

Turning it into an art project

Will update as I make progress

[mooremars]

Random Camelot facts I learned from Alan Jay Lerner's book:

Frederick Loewe's reaction to the idea of this musical: "That king was a cuckold. Who the hell cares about a cuckold?"

Loewe couldn't even get through The Once and Future King and that is so valid.

Lerner's determination for whether an audience was into Camelot was whether they laughed at "You wonder what the king is wishing tonight/he's wishing he were in Scotland fishing tonight" and I do think he was right.

The first reading was over three hours. The first show in Toronto lasted four and a half hours, ending at 12:40 AM. The second performance ended at 12. For reasons that will become clear soon, this did not really improve until they went to Boston and even then, they didn't get the show down to length until Broadway.

There was a twelve minute sequence of Lancelot's quests that lasted a single performance before getting cut.

There was also a forest animal ballet.

Alan Jay Lerner's wife (number 4 of 8) took their two year old on a "vacation" to Europe during the writing. She called two days in and said she and the son were never coming back. He had a breakdown.

He went to a psychiatrist but said he didn't have time to do any therapy because he needed to write the second act so he just asked to get prescribed something. The doctor apparently went for this, telling him to start with four of whatever these pills were and then build up to twelve a day.

This is how he wrote If Ever I Would Leave You because of course that would be the song.

During rehearsals, he was getting weaned off the meds. In the two days leading up to opening, he just forgot to take the remaining pills or eat anything reasonable. His wife and son also showed back up.

After the second performance it was discovered he had an ulcer and was bleeding internally. He was hospitalized for almost two weeks.

As he was leaving the hospital, the director was wheeled in after suffering a heart attack.

Anyway, this combination of events led to them not fixing the many many problems in the show.

Also at this point Lerner and Loewe were seemingly barely speaking to each other even though they were rewriting the show and looking for a new director.

Lerner functionally took over directing even though he'd never directed anything. Loewe hated this.

Two weeks before they opened in New York they had an almost entirely new second act.

I think this is pretty common knowledge but Before I Gaze at You Again only got lyrics two days before Broadway previews.

When the director finally got out of the hospital, they started making changes again three months after it opened on Broadway.

Loewe quit musicals after this one and I cannot blame him.

He barely touches on the movie, clearly something is going on there, but the one thing he did mention is that apparently Richard Harris was kind of a nightmare.

[sunshine-on-marz]

But what if I don’t want you dead?

BIG OL’ TRIGGER WARNING

Suicide, major character death, lots of blood (omg so much blood), screaming, crying, throwing up (no but actually),just lots of angst lmao

This is a story crafted from the canon characters of the DSMP. While this is not based on the events of the lore, it is also not at all based on the real people. Also, Dream is in this story so if that makes you uncomfortable feel free to not read, I’ll see ya next time!

“Holy shit. Holy shit! Dream!” The tears began rolling down your cheeks as you watched the man who’d helped you through just about everything fall into a pool of lava. Sapnap holds you back as you attempt to run over to the blonde. You screamed and thrashed, begging him to let you go. He simply pulled you into his chest as you punched his chest, over and over. You screamed until you slouched to the floor from exhaustion. Sapnap simply knelt down with you and cried as well. It took a few minutes for him to calm down. He lifted you up to your feet and guided you out of the cave. Once the two of you reached the mouth you where only sniffling and dry heaving. George had been waiting for the both of you. As soon as he saw the both of you, he ran up to you and hugged you. “I’m so sorry y/n, I’m so so sorry.” You stayed in his arms until he let go, you wanted to scream, scream at George that it was all his fault, but you knew it wasn’t. He was just doing what he had to. Dream knew what was going to happen when he spoke up to Schlatt, and this was simply repercussions. “Y/n?” The voice you heard wasn’t George, or Sapnap, but Karl. He spoke again. “Hey y/n? Are you awake?” You sat up slowly. “Good morning sunshine” you nodded your head to Karl’s sad smile. “G’mornin doctor.” He sat down next to your cot. “You passed out, Sap brought you in and told me what happened, I’m so sorry kid” you smiled in acknowledgement and fell back onto the pillow behind you. “I’m guessing you don’t have any meds that can bring him back, huh?” Karl shakes his head. “Sadly not.” You sighed “I assumed” you began to swing your feet off of the cot. But as you stood up Karl placed his hand on yours. “Y/n, last time he was here it was after a nether incident. His boot laces got a bit scorched and I uhm, I still have the laces, if you want them.” You looked at him for a moment before responding, “yes please”. He got the laces out of a drawer. You took one and wrapped it around your wrist like a bracelet. You placed the other in your pocket. You then left the hospital and walked to Dream’s old house. You opened the door and walked to the guest room that had slowly morphed into your second bedroom. You grabbed a book and began to write your final good bye. As you finished your signature you heard the front door fly open and both George and Sapnap scream your name. You tried to hide the letter but George opened the before you could. “Y/N!” He flung himself onto you in a hug before seeing the paper. You tried to sway it away but George grabbed it and started reading. He teared up just as Sapnap walked in. While Sap took in the scene infront of him George finished reading the letter. Then the paper was handed to Sapnap and George wrapped his arms around your torso. “Y/N, please, I can’t lose you to. You’re all I have left of him, please, please we love you so much” you started crying to. Sapnap just leaned back and slid down the wall with tears streaming down his face silently. He then looked to you and George and walked over to the both of you. Sapnap lightly unwrapped George around you and lifted you up like he would when you where younger. You wrapped your legs around him and put your nose into his shoulder. He started quietly humming and swaying the both of you to his song. Not long after George wrapped his arms around both you and Sap. The three of you where just…there. It felt safe though. Your little family may have shrunken but it was still unbreakable.

————

Oooooo lawd. I’m so sorry y’all- I was in an angst mood-

Tags: @remithefroglady @kit-is-a-weeb @the-radio-system-writes @emoandglam @lyssys @ayat0s-hydr0-v1s10n @honeybee4701 @zooone @chumkles @modelbus @minorinnit

[domschestofbones]

Aural. 1/5 short stories based on the five senses (cosmic horror)

“Lonely Day is the best ¾ metal song of all time. Tell me I’m wrong. System is undefeated, you can’t find a single bad song in their entire run. Go on, tell me one, bro.” The greasy punk squealed, eyes twitchin’.

Can’t I ever get a break from these fuckin’ people? Some sweaty guy gets an eye on what I'm lookin’ at and just feels the undying need to interject. It’s like a law of nature. God forbid I pick up a Metallica record around a dude with a ponytail and a Led Zeppelin shirt. I try to just enjoy things that make me happy, man. Metal, hip hop, electronic music, country, pop, whatever. All art has merit, and will make someone, at some point, happy. I see people nitpicking creativity all the time, especially if it’s something someone else enjoys. Music purists should be banned from record stores. Issue is that they already own all of ‘em.

 It’s cool, though. Bitchin’ to myself about others bitchin’ to me about shit I like but they don’t is so dumb that only a human could do it. If my JBLs are loud enough though, I can’t hear ‘em. 

My mom bought me a shirt from Walmart or something when I was a kid that said “If it’s too loud, you’re too old”. I thought it was pretty badass when I was younger. It had a rough sketched stick figure on it cranking up an oversized red volume knob under the text. It honestly rings true, in a different context. It’s nice to just pay attention to things you understand.

Crossing the sidewalk makes me think of Abbey Road. Rubber Soul is my favorite, for sure. “What Goes On” is some instant headnod with how those drums drive. Aren’t people who hate the Beatles just so much fun to talk to? Fuck those guys right off, man. Zappa out here yapping day in and out like a goddamn chihuahua. 

From behind me someone yelled “Ay Don!”

I turned around,”What’s u—”

The world goes blank.

I woke up in the hospital without a memory of any incident. Feels like I got hit by a car or something, though. My ears are ringing like feedback from an amp. I can see my mom arguing with a guy much shorter than her, he’s wearing scrubs. Fuck, my ears hurt. This rigning sucks, man. I hope they can give me some meds for it. I hope this shit goes away soon, it makes me want to dig a pencil in my ear. 

Part 2

I should be leaving the Hospital today, fuckin’ finally. Feeling yourself getting weaker, muscles shrinking, face losing weight, it’s torture. I’m not a gym rat, but I appreciate my health and ability to do a shitty kickflip. Can’t wait to go do that again, I should be getting out today.

While the nurses were wrapping up the last of the discharge paperwork, they let me put my headphones in. I didn’t bother telling them my ears were ringing, I didn’t want to stay here any longer, it smells terrible. Plus, it gradually went away after the first day and a half or so. I wasn’t actually too banged up. Just got a concussion, a broken rib and some ear ringin’ that I kept to myself.

The kid who hit me was a young girl in driver’s ed. She looked like she had seen her parents slaughtered in front of her or something, her eyes were wide when she looked at me. I can’t really get it out of my head how upset she seemed when she saw me in the bed here. The instructor later told me that she was still under 10 hours of driving time and that she was on the spectrum for autism. Emotionally taxing events like these hit her really hard and she would sometimes spiral into herself. I told him to tell her that I didn't wanna press charges, and to relay to her that I'm fine and that I hope she’s fine. I waved to her and smiled when she came to see me, and she just cried more. Hope she’s getting along better now, poor kid. 

I kinda feel like listening to a podcast, but I’ve actually had this song stuck in my head since I woke up. That annoying dude in the record store had me thinking about System of a Down. Is it another rule of the universe that a self titled album will live throughout time in crystallized mint? Track one is Suite-Pee. I get goosebumps thinking about the breakdown one minute in. I need to see these guys before I die. 

What a fuckin’ track. Quick picking and some slides in the tuning of C G C F A D start poking at my eardrums, I close my eyes and a smile tears along my skin. I swear the beginning measures of this song could form the mountains, rivers and stars of my own Shangri La. I would live so well in that world. A place where positivity and aggression dance together in a grip so intense that the air flexes around them. Destruction is disgusting and beautiful. The expanse of life is terrifying and soulful. It comes into focus under my shut eyelids. Fuckin’ A.

The introductory riffs switch to the drop of the chords and bombing of the drums and my head explodes. My ears scream like they’re bleeding and I wail louder than I thought I ever could. I’m dizzy, nauseous and my face is melting. I puke all over myself, my ears start ringing in the highest pitch I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, I had no idea a sound could ever be this high. This shit seems like it should just kill someone on the spot. I certainly fuckin’ thought this was it. Killed by my favorite SOAD song, ain’t life a bitch. That’s what my headstone should say. I faint.

Part 3

The ENT doctor tells me I have Subjective Tinnitus that can eventually progress to Musical Tinnitus. ST is caused by an overexposure to loud noise, MT being a malformation of that condition which occurs over time. It’s essentially going to make me start hallucinating and recreating melodies in real time in my mind as I get older. Which kind of sounds cool, sounds kind of trippy. Fuckin’ sucks, but I guess it’s better than being deaf. I should’ve worn more ear plugs at concerts, for sure. I started to wear em every show last year, but one year out of almost twenty isn’t a groundbreaking change. Thus, here we are. I have yet again fucked myself.

They gave me some ear drop medications to take home, an information packet on the condition and related issues, and told me to avoid using headphones and listening to loud music. My mom rubbed my shoulder in a hug knowing that I wasn’t going to be okay when the shock wore off. I can feel it wearing off already, I need to get home. I can’t be here right now. I hug my mom a second time, tell her I love her, get in my Lyft and head off to my apartment complex. I had to ask the Lyft driver to turn down the track, he looked at me annoyingly. I told him I love Kendrick, though. He kinda just scoffed. Fuck me.

As I close the door and take my first step toward the lawn, a kid rides behind me on a bike. He blasted a toy megaphone alarm at the back of my ear and I swear a rusty nail flew into it. My knees buckled and I hit the sidewalk hard, gripping my head cuz it felt like my brain was trying to escape my skull. I thought pressure would help so I squeezed hard. The kids got scared of my voice and pedaled like hell down the street, crying cuz they probably thought I was insane. 

The ringing was an ocean that felt thick yet without density. It was sterile and formless, I couldn’t tell any sense from another. Everything in existence was piercing, white, loud. I knew I was on the ground outside my apartment, but I couldn't place the feeling of actually being anywhere. Sometimes, when I sit on a couch too long, my limbs will start to feel like they’re part of the couch and my vision tunnels towards the TV or whatever. I start to feel, like, further back than I really am. If that makes sense. It was like that, but with absolutely everything that I can see or feel, or hear or touch. It’s like an endless valley.

Maybe not everything though, I could’ve heard a voice near the end of the white out. It didn’t sound like a language though, it sounded more animalian or something. If not animalian, something more…natural, than a human voice.

Part 4

During my white-out I couldn't really think. I was really only able to think about how it felt afterwards. It felt like I was in a coma or something. I didn’t really look at my phone when I was in the car, so I didn’t notice what time I collapsed. But it seemed like the sun was further in the sky when I came to. I hope I wasn’t out too long. I really don’t want to get kicked out of this apartment. My head feels fuzzy and thoughts aren’t coming to me so easily right now. I think I'm just gonna chill and watch some TV, probably still need to recover from the hospital anyway. Gotta get snacks and shit before I loaf out.

I looked in my cupboard and saw a sticky note from Mom: 

“Hi, Honey! I hope you got home ok! Give me a call as soon as you’re in, ok? I stole your keys and put all your favorite snacks in the cabinets and frozen meals in the freezer! Stay home for a few days ok? No work? Also, clean up the WEED and BEERS. What kind of girl is going to spend the night with that smell? Ok, enough griping. 

Love you!”

-Mom

Oh fuck yeah. I can’t believe she remembers I love Andy Capp’s. She’s always shit talkin’ me but she’s the best. I grab the chips and a beer and hit the couch. She’s right, I’m fuckin gross dude. I should really clean this place up, I could probably start a spider habitat here. I’ll do that in a bit, I really should sit down for a second. My legs still feel like jelly and I’m kinda foggy. The cushions are all I need right now. I stand in front of the couch, stretch my arms out like the chilled out christ figure that I am and just…plop…Fuck, that feels good. The couch, a beer, some snacks, and some weed after a hard day is better than any sex in the world and I’ll be a purist on that one. Die on that hill. Yup. The condensation on the can makes me feel like I’m in exotic lands, baby. Fuck, that tastes good. I turn the cable on, streaming seems like too much work right now. I am so surprised MTV is still around, or that they’re still called MTV. Martin is on VH1 right now, hell yeah. Get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious, and some skittles. I feel like watching Bad Boys.

I got halfway through the bag of chips when my doorbell rang and sent me back into the pearl void. That ring resonated into a fine point that penetrated any walls I had in my head. It broke me down. I can’t feel anything, everything is jagged snow. Barely holding thoughts… Heari-.. Some. can’t….Agh–..nnn…him.him..him.you.him..you.you…….who– WHO A….That.. noise..I…so fucking beau…WHOO ARE YOUU?!

Part 5

The world goes from white to black, then slowly blooms. I’m on the carpet on top of a now soaked up puddle of beer and a crushed up bag of chips. What the fuck am I gonna do about this?! I can’t even drink a beer and watch TV without being almost killed by this shit! Obviously I gotta take out all the bells and alarms; smoke detector, door bell, phone on vibrate, all that. Fuck! Should I just post a sign on the door? People are idiots, they don’t read signs anyway, fuck that. Nah, I’m taking this shit down. I don’t care anymore. I need to soundproof this place. I spend the next hour doing just that and then I feel safe enough to chill a bit. I step into the bathroom for a long hot shower on the dime of the landlord, he sucks so fuck him. I’m so pissed, man.

The shower turns on with a little rattle and then starts to whine. My heart jumps out of my chest and I scramble to run away from the noise that I think is going to follow it. My foot gets caught in the shower curtain, jerks me downward and I–.

I come to with a throbbing head, I’m zoned out but the shower is still on. My eyes slowly refocus and my ears recalculate. “no..no.no…NO FUCK! NO PLEASE!!” I hear myself whimpering, losing a sense of who I am for a moment.

 The whining shower head gives me no chance and I’m plunged in it again. I just want peace. Death would be better than this. The whine becomes my world. Sharp white angles bent inward on other sharp white angles create a reality that’s invisible but feels harsh and violent, directed even. Precisely towards me. Is this my world? I think it must be. It feels like I’ve never known anything else, what could a memory be in a place like this? If I had memories, I feel them mingling and folding in on each other to make one mesh substance. I know I have been here before, though. I know this place. I think I’ve been here for some time.

There it is. I hear something other than the ring, it’s a crackling maybe. Or maybe something blowing up or expanding. It’s very dense, very fast approaching from a long way away. I don’t think I can be scared of what it is anymore. That sort of mindset isn’t a part of me anymore. Whatever that is, is however, a part of me. My world of a single shade is a part of me. I need to know this other thing. I wait for it to come closer. It takes a while. I don’t really feel the pain anymore, I don’t think. Don’t feel much of anything, just anticipation. 

It’s here!! I can finally hear it! It’s warm, burning. Not a memory, this is new. New, and burning, and bright. It’s overwhelming, makes me feel and smell and taste everything and the nothingness of everything. I’ve never really known what any of those sensations truly meant until just now. Everything I’ve ever heard in my life, this sounds just like that, all in one. Everything that could be heard and translated into love is here, everything that could be hateful I hear along with it. I think it is everything. That’s why it’s not human, why it’s not exactly natural. It’s everything that could be or couldn’t be heard at any and all points in time. It makes my heart disintegrate as I try to recognize my place in this grand song. I’m here, there, and also not. I can’t recall where it stopped or if I believe it will ever stop. It seems like it would be impossible to see it while merely being a part of it, but can I observe the thing if I am the thing? I believe I am. I believe I must be. I must be. I can’t go back into the dark. This is where I stay. Measures and patterns of non-existence swim in this space and there is no use for claiming the title, “I”. It’s no longer suitable. 

A thought turns into a fragment and then seems very, very far away.

[when-wolves-howl]

If I Bleed

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: You finally reunite with your old team mates and learn a little more about what's been happening while you were gone.

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: Chapter 3 is here! Please go back and read Chapter 1 and 2 to understand this story.

I got a little carried away so it's pretty long. I wanted to establish some relationships before we really get into the chaos. Should mention that his takes place ten years after Age of Ultron, so the events of Winter Solider, Civil War have happened but the accords didn't go through and Infinity War and Endgame will not happen because I refuse to cry at my own writing. Also I am no medical expert so any 'medical' talk is completely made up. I tried to make it sound as convincing as possible. Natasha doesn't make an appearance in this chapter but she'll show up very soon. Enjoy reading!

*you do not have permission to repost or translate my material to claim as yours*

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Waking up to Vibranium power dampening cuffs around your wrists and secured to the rails of a hospital bed, an IV attached to your arm and bandage covering your chest, only instilled your gut instincts not to trust anyone. Fighting against the restraints was useless, but the frantic beating of your heart alerted the monitor connected to your chest and the pounding of your head was only increasing. It was making you panic even more by not knowing where you were. With not being able to move your arms, you lay your head back down to the pillow behind your head and focus on slowing your heart beat down. It’s something she taught you when you saw the signs of a panic attack.

Surveying your surroundings, you know that you're definitely in a hospital of some type. The antiseptic smell is so intense that its almost making you gag. Plus the white walls and marble floor were a dead giveaway. On the other side of the room is a door with a small window. You figured hell would be a lot more red. Turning your head up to the corner of the ceiling you see a camera pointing directly at you with a small red light flashing. Someone is definitely watching you, meaning this isn’t a regular hospital. You stick your middle finger up at it.

For the couple of minutes that you were awake, you almost forgot about the circumstances that put you in these restraints in the first place, or who put you here. It’s funny that the person who's fault it is that you're here has red hair, just like the devil. It’s hard to even process any other coherent thoughts relating to your circumstances with the pounding ache at the base of your skull. Trying to ignore the pain, you focus your hearing to gauge a better understanding of your whereabouts and what is on the other side of the door but any effort to do that is halted when the door beeps on the other side and a figure walks through the door with a rucksack on their shoulder and you meet their eyes immediately.

“Welcome back, soldier. Took you long enough to get back to us” they say with a small grin. You rolls your eyes in annoyance and with a slight grin of your own but it quickly falters when you try to move.

“Can you take these off me, please?” you ask, nodding to the cuffs. Your visitor raises an eyebrow and you can tell they're skeptical of your intentions once you're released but you have no where to go right now. Your old home probably isn't your home anymore. You may as well stay to try and get some answers. “I’m not going to hurt you, Maria.”

“That’s not what I'm worried about. Just don’t run please.” You nod in response. Maria takes a set of keys from her back pocket and moves to the side of the bed to release your wrists. You rub at the red marks gently and look back up to your mentor.

“Where am I?” you ask, not bothering to keep the irksome tone out of your voice.

“Washington D.C in a secure S.H.I.E.L.D med bay. You’ve been out for about twelve hours’ Maria answers, looking you directly in the eyes. You can hear her heartbeat. It’s beating steadily, so you hope she's not lying. As if she's read your thoughts, she keeps talking. “I’m not lying, Y/N. Neither was Natasha.” You wince at her name and you know Maria saw so she avoids saying that name again. “You really have been dead for nearly three years. The explosion, finding your remains, even the positive ID on your dentals records. It all pointed to you being dead and I know you want answers but I don’t have any, no one does. We were hoping you could shed some light on what happened?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think I know what’s going on here? If I did, I wouldn't be laying in this bed right now. I wouldn't have two holes burnt into my chest” you retort, your voice beginning to rise. Maria doesn't cower at your rise in tone. She’s not afraid of you so she lets you continue, knowing that you need this “Do you really think I would keep my whereabouts from all this time a secret? Especially from you or her? Waking up three years later and finding out that everyone thought that i was dead, that it seems like I've lost everything in my life. My job, my life, my girlfriend. It’s all gone and I can fucking remember why! Also, where the fuck is Fury? If you can't give me answers, I know he can! I want my own fucking answers!” you scream at the top of your lungs. Maria just stares at you with a blank expression and you respond with a scowl, taking deep breaths to recover from your outburst.

“First of all, Fury isn’t the director of S.H.I.E..L.D anymore, I am. When you called using your old Agent number, somehow it redirected to him and he contacted me. But Fury was forced out not long after you died” she explains.

“What happened?” you ask, curiously. The theres only a handful of agencies that are capable of twisting his arm and making him leave. And apparently the man that seemed to have an eye as good as Heimdall, couldn't see everything that came his way.

“I can’t tell you that. It’s classified and you no longer have clearance and before you ask, yes I know where he is and no I won't tell you because he asked me not to tell anyone” Maria responds, raising her hands in a defensive manner at seeing you furrow your brow in annoyance. You release a loud groan and throw your head against the pillow. “What I can tell you is that Bruce ran a CT scan and your neuropathic indicators showed no signs of manipulation, ever. Meaning that you were never brainwashed or under anyones control.” She brings her hand to yours and gently squeezes it. You sigh loudly but squeeze her hand in return indicating that you've understood what she's said.

If you weren't under any brainwashing or other mind manipulation techniques, one question answered of the millions that you have, then what were you doing for three years? Where were you? Who were you with? Who were you? Maria can’t answer them or can’t without you having clearance. You need to find anyone that can. For now, you want to leave this bed and find the bunch idiots you call your family. You love Maria like a sister but she belongs at S.H.I.E.L.D and you belong at the compound. You hope you do.

Ripping the IV out of your arm and lowering the bar of your bed, you swing your legs to the side. Before you can stand up Maria pushes on your chest to stop you from standing and you hiss in pain when she touches the burn marks.

“Don’t be a baby. You’ve been through worse and you heal quickly” she lightly scolds. You mumbled under your breath that it still hurts and you see that Maria is the one to roll her eyes now. “Like I said earlier, you don’t have clearance so I can’t share many details with you without being prosecuted, but what I can tell you is that Everett Ross, who is now the Director of International Security, is in my office waiting for me to return. I told him I had to step out for bit to monitor your situation. I know he wants to debrief you to the fullest extent and you and I both know that could take days, maybe even weeks.” Everett Ross’ hate towards you was only an extension of his hate towards Steve and Bucky, who, along with yourself, evaded his capture during Bucky’s manhunt in Bucharest. After the Sokovia Accords fell through, Ross must have bought his promotion, instead of earning it.

“But I don’t know anything ” you defend quickly.

“I know that but do you think he cares? He’s now a Director for the CIA for god sake. If he wants answers, he’ll get them. I don't know the full extent of his investigation but I think he suspects that Hydra is involved somehow and if he thinks that, it's safe to assume that he thinks you're a double agent and never truly defected to S.H.I.E.L.D ten years ago." Maria concludes. You shake your head at the ridiculousness of that what she says. You'd gained a new life after Sokovia. You found your family and the love of your life. You wouldn't give that up for anything. Not voluntarily.

"If he really thinks that I'm a double agent, he going to be really pissed that you let me go" you say worriedly. You don't want Maria to get into trouble.

"I know it's not true, Y/N, I know your heart. So I’ll buy you some time to slip out. I won’t say that you ran, just that you wanted to see your family and that you’ll cooperate in a couple of days time. I've disabled the laser grid in the air vents so you can sneak out that way” You smile at how easily she can slip in and out of spy mode. She’s truly a professional. Moving to your feet, she hands you the bag she brought in and you squeeze her hand in appreciation. As you put your hand the door handle, you spin around at her voice. “They know you're alive. I contacted Steve as soon as I got word and the whole team has been briefed. They missed you. We all did. It’s really good to have you back Y/N” Maria says genuinely. You smile sadly at her kind words but remain silent at you open the door and walk though it. You immediately look up and see the ventilation system Maria was talking around. It’s an easy feat with your strength to lift yourself up.

As you army crawl through the vents, it hits you that you’re returning to a place that you haven’t lived in, in three years. To a family who thought you were dead. To your team mates who you haven’t fought alongside in a long time even though to you, it was a few days ago. Reaching the end of the vent, you open the bag Maria gave you and find your old shield uniform and combats boots. You disappointedly find no gun but a small switchblade. Better than nothing. With great difficulty, you manage to slip off the hospital gown and put your uniform on. Kicking at the vent, you slip out and fall a couple of stories until you land hard on your feet. With a deep breath, you set off into a run and towards whatever is left of your life before.

......

After dropping the off the car you ‘borrowed’ a mile away, you were now in upstate New York and standing outside the automatic doors of the compound. You figured it was a good idea enter through the front doors instead of breaking in. F.R.I.D.A.Y would surely alert every one of an intruder and you would rather not have your ass blown to away by Tony’s repulsors. Unable to enter the compound without an access card, you take the switchblade from your pocket and removed the access panel. With the rearrangement of some wires, the light on the panel turns green and the door opens. F.R.I.D.A.Y definitely needs an update. Stepping through the door, you quickly make your way into the elevator and press the button to the floor above.

Instead of the sickening dread that you had felt in your stomach earlier, you find that it’s been replaced with a sense of anxiousness. These people haven’t seen you in so long. You wonder if they're the same people you involuntarily left behind. The elevator doors ding and you step out into the entrance to the common room. You see Pietro, Bruce, Steve, Thor, Tony, Vision and Clint sitting at the table talking quietly to each other. You notice the absence of one Avenger immediately. You decide not listen in on their conversations since you promised you wouldn't when they realised you had enhanced hearing. Your footsteps interrupt them and they all turn their heads and look in your direction. You stand there, feeling like a child about to show their new toy for show and tell. Shoving your hands in your pockets, you decide its better if you speak first.

“Hi guys” you greet meekly. Everyone remains silent. You look around the table at notice the expressions of everyone. Shock etched upon everyones face. Maria did say they knew you were coming but it seems they can’t believe their eyes. Before you can get another word out, a flash of blue flashes before your eyes and you are suddenly engulfed in a tight embrace by Pietro. You instantly wrap your arms around him and try to understand his mumblings into your shirt. You call his name multiple times but he just continues with his incoherent sentences until you force him away from you by his shoulders and keep a firm grip on them. Looking at his features, you take note of everything. His sunken eyes, silver messy hair. He looks exhausted, like he hasn't slept in a long time. You grin at him otherwise, happy to see one of your best friends.

“You look like shit, Maximoff” you tease, with an amused expression.

“And you’re the best thing I've seen in a long time” he responds in Sokovian, his voice deep and honest. You understand him immediately, since he and Wanda taught you the language during your time with Hydra. Speaking of, where the hell is your other best friend? “Where the hell have you been?” He takes in your own features and notice they mirror his.

“That’s why I'm here. I have no idea where I've been or what the hell is going on, Piet. Maria said no one has answers but there has to be someone who knows something. Someone always does” you answer, trying to not sound frustrated again at your lack of knowledge of what’s happened to you. Pietro hugs you tight again and whispers that he missed you and you return his words.

“Okay speedy boy, let them breathe,” Pietro pulls away and stands at your side with his hand on your shoulder as you notice Tony walking towards you with a smile. Even though a sarcastic rich asshole, Tony was the man who passed on some of his learnings from MIT to you, even if you barely understood what he was saying half the time. When you eventually understood what he was taking about, you found the knowledge useful in the field and have been grateful ever since. He brings you into his arms. ‘Welcome home, kid. Don't ever disable F.R.I.D.A.Y again” He kisses your temple. You smile at his pet name that he always calls you. Maybe they haven’t changed. Tony also moves off the side and behind him are Steve and Bucky. Steve eyes you curiously, always on alert for any sign of an attack. You send him a wink and his stern eyes soften at your playfulness. Bucky notices the look between you and Steve and pouts, to which you notice. Rolling your eyes at both of them, you spread out both of yours arm and the two super soldier practically leave dust in their wake as they make their way over to you. You emit an “oof” at their contact but it quickly turns into laughter when they both throw you over your shoulders and start spinning you around.

“Put me down, you pair of popsicles!”

“We’re still stronger than you, rookie” Bucky says through his laughter. Steve agrees along with his best friend. The two of them took you under their wing and helped you use your strength for other things other than destruction and chaos. The two men finally release you to your feet and you register the three other people in the room.

You nod at the first. Vision. He nods back. You appreciated his status as a sentient being and his impressive skills on the field but you never formed any type of relationship besides professional. You were okay with this and he seemed to be as well. The next person in your line of sight is Bruce. He stands timidly by the table and sends you a small smile. You always tried to be civil with Bruce but he left her heartbroken and feeling unwanted. The only upside to him breaking her hurt was that she fell in love with you. Not anymore, you guess. Maybe you can find a way to be his friend this time. Nonetheless, you walk up to him and shake his hand and return his smile. Noticing the last Avenger present hasn't moved from his chair or even looked in your direction, you shake you head at her best friend and decide not to acknowledge him. There's nothing you really want to say to him anyway.

Turning your back on the archer, you face the people you do care about and ask about them about the only other green eyed Avenger that you know. You’re excited to see her.

“Where’s Wanda? Is she is out getting things for dinner? Man, I can’t wait to have her paprikash.” you say excitedly but you notice that no one else seems to match your enthusiasm. Everyone seems to avoid your eyes and you look to her brother who only has rage burning within his. “What’s going on? Where is she?” The silence continues and you can feel your own rage starting to consume you. She better not be hurt. Steve sighs loudly and walks towards you, putting his hands on your shoulders. His lips form into a straight line and you can see the gears turning in his head. He’s choosing his words carefully. You frown in confusion and look around to everyone. they’re still avoiding your eyes.

“She’s in The Raft, Y/N” Steve finally answers as calmly as he can. It takes you a moment to register his words and when you do it feels like your soul has been sucked out of your body. What fuck is going on with everyone? Three years missing, she's gone and Wanda’s in an underwater prison? Again? The only thing you can see right now is red and it isn’t Wanda’s magic. Shoving past Steve and towards one of the men who was supposed to look after her. You push him hard against the wall he was standing by. Knowing that you're unable to hurt him, you take your closed fist punch the wall beside his head.

“What the fuck happened!? you scream in Vision’s face. He doesn't flinch at your words and opens his mouth to speak. As he goes top open his mouth, you raise your fist and decide ,’fuck it’ and aim for his face. Before you can connect, Steve grabs your wrist and rips you backwards.

“That’s enough!” Steve thunderous voice echoes throughout the compound and you turn your head to the solider. He lets go of your wrist when he sees you tear rimmed eyes. He knows that you're hurting in every way possible. You can’t lose one of your best friends. Your eyes flicker to Pietro and he’s trying to keep his tears back as well. Steve looks around the room to all of his team mates for support but they won’t even look him in the eye either. “Please sit down. There’s a lot to explain.” You take a seat at the table and everyone follows along with you. Pietro sits next to you and takes your hand in his and squeezes but you yank it away. You’re too furious to be consoled right now.

“After you died, Wanda took off. She left a note saying she was going to find and destroy every Hydra base that she could find. She wanted revenge for you, Y/N. Specifically the person who set off the bomb. No one knew where she went until she started popping up on the world news feed, over a year later. A red haired woman was seen fleeing from multiple crimes scenes all over the world in places we suspected to be Hydra bases, even though we thought they had just disappeared. We knew it was Wanda and eventually we caught up with her.”

Steve takes a breath and his look of disappointment annoys you. He’s the Captain, the leader of this team and now Wanda’s in prison. You stand up quickly and it sends your chair flying backwards and everyones flinches. As you lean on both of your fists on the table and your head hangs low, you wait for the rest of the story. Bucky decides to speak up.

“We found her in Berlin.” Your head immediately shoots up at his words and you implore him to continue with your serious glare. He goes to speak again but Tony holds his hand out to stop him and stands up from his seat. You internally groan because you know this is going to be a long speech.

“A lot has happened while you've been gone, kid. Since the Accords didn't go ahead, we've been unofficially monitored very carefully by the U.N. incase any of us screw up. They're just looking to put us behind bars. Everything was fine until Wanda went rogue. Since then, we've been working in conjunction with the CIA. Wanda was the sacrificial lamb to show that they were serious” Tony explains.

“That explains why Everett Ross was at S.H.I.E.L.D waiting for me. Maria think he think I'm a double agent for Hydra” Tony nods his head at your words. “On who’s authority does the CIA have to baby sit us?”

“The President” Vision answers. You turn your head to him, noticing that he finally decided to speak up. You roll your eyes at his existence.

“So they’ve basically gone ahead with the Accords without actually going ahead with them?” you summarise. Everyone nods. “Tell me about Berlin.” You look back at Bucky and you can tell he's nervous because you go against your word and listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“We got word from Berlin authorities that there had been an explosion and that Hydra soldiers had been spotted in the area. Unfortunately, there were some casualties. Some civilians were caught in the crossfire. By the time we arrived on the scene, Wanda was sitting in the rubble completely broken. Ross and his men weren't far behind and they arrested her and charged her with the murders. She was sent to The Raft straight away.” Bucky concludes. You try to keep yourself calm at the influx of new information but you can feel yourself slipping. You lift your head and decide to speak.

“How long has she been in there?” You look directly at Pietro when you ask him in Sokovian. He looks down at his lap and you can see a lone tear roll down his cheek.

“ A year,” he whispers. You couldn't control yourself if you tried. Raising your fists above your ahead, you slam them harshly against the table and it shatters upon impact, letting out a loud scream. Everyone moves back the instant the table is broken but don’t seem surprised by your outburst. They remember that your emotions can get the best of you. Remembering the techniques you were taught, you steady your breathing and leave behind the mess you made, along with your former team mates. You ignore the calls of your name as you mindlessly walk fast down the halls of the compound. You can’t even register the memories your brain wants you to as you make your way through the place that used to be your home. You guess it still is in way. Your feet unconsciously bring you to a door. Wanda’s bedroom. Before the grab the handle, you stop and take in the moment of where you actually are. Turning your head over your shoulder, you see the door that used to be your room. The room that you shared with her. You can't think about the painful memories that live in that room. Not right now. You will the tears away as hard as you can.

As you enter Wanda’s room, you expect it to be dusty and dark but you walk into a room that looks like it’s being lived in. You guess that its probably Pietro who has taken up residence in his sisters room. Wanda would do the same while Pietro was away on missions. Looking around the room, you take in all of its contents. Trinkets, candles, books, jewellery, perfume and photos adorn the desk. A particular photo grabs your attention on the night stand and when you pick it up, you're flooded with the memory of the night it was taken. It was the one year anniversary of when you and the twins had joined the team. Tony had thrown a private party for the three of you and in the photo all of the Avengers stand together with beers in hands, arms around each others necks. Your arm around her waist. A simpler time. You try to smile but instead a choked sob falls from your lips. When you return the photo its place, your hand falls to the handle of the nightstand drawer. You assume its still in there. Holding your breath, you open it and assume correctly and see the red velvet box sitting there.

You can’t look at it for too long. It haunts you. Being here in this room, the compound, being around everyone again, you're haunted by the things you can remember and all the things you can’t. You can’t seem to swallow the lump in your throat so you slam the drawer shut and stumble to the middle of the room to try and ground yourself. Falling to your knees, a deep and painful cry erupts from you and all you can do is allow it. Everything is just too much. Right now, you're not strong enough to keep any of your enhanced senses at bay, so you screw your eyes shut and let yourself feel everything at once.

The beating of hearts and pumping of blood of everyone in the dining room, every conversation talking place, the sickening smell of each of their cologne but the beautiful aroma of Wanda’s perfume and candles, the humming of the electricity powering the building, the whines and whistles of F.R.I.D.A.Y coming back on line. For a moment, you think you can smell a sweet lavender scent coming from your old bedroom and it makes you convulse even harder to the point where you have to cover your ears and hope that everything will stop.

After you register the sound of the door slamming shut, everything is silenced. You open your eyes to see Clint leaning against the closed door.

“Did you forget that the rooms are sound proof?” he asks.

Chapter 4

-------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @wolferine @lil-gamer @httpjupiterbby @traveler-at-heart @5-puthyyy @holiday-house-of-m @traveler-at-heart @poptartpoppyy @blackxwidowsxwife @snowdrop1026 @afuckingshituniverse @sherlockstrangewolf @the-camilucha @lorsstar1st @maximoffwitch @8bitscarlet @thefoxandthepenguine @inlovewithfaberry @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @nr-enthusiast @kermy48 @whhyyynott @username23345 @lufluf-fanfic-blog @snowtrova @wildnightuniverse @therunawaykind @8bitscarlet @lainjupi @d14n4ol @natblackwidow2

[kellykidd]

I’m Ready - Kelly Severide x fem!Reader

Summary: When reader gets attacked by her ex-husband, she decides to the next step with Kelly.

Read on Ao3

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: Physical Abuse, victim!reader, comfort, angsty with a happy ending, mentions of blood, injuries, hospitals

Tagging: @sylviebrettisaswiftie (Click here to join my taglist)

Blood. Dripping down your arms and face. He had just left after attacking you, again. Your ex-husband, Brice, was upset after you left him for the firefighter who saved you five years ago. He wanted to get back at you, but no woman would take him. Coming out of your haze after the attack, you saw Sylvie and Gabby rushing into your office, jump bag in hand.

“Hey, hey, are you with me?” Gabby asked you, shining the pen light in your eyes.

You couldn’t answer, you were so filled with shame.

“Let’s hook her up to the monitor, control the bleeding and let’s get her transported,” Sylvie replied.

“Kelly,” You managed to mutter.

“He’s on his way. Chief Boden is bringing him,” Sylvie told you.

Her words seemed to calm you down as Sylvie and her partner worked on your wounds. Your boyfriend rushed into your office. He grabbed your hand and sat beside you.

“Hey, how is she?” Kelly asked Gabby.

“Bleeding pretty heavily when we got here, it seems to be under control,” she replied, taking your BP one more time.

“Dawson, let’s move her.”

“I’m coming with you,” Kelly argued.

“Help us get her up,” Gabby told him.

They put you in the stairchair and brought you down to the awaiting ambulance out front. Kelly held your hand the entire time, something Brice would’ve never even thought about doing back when you were married.

Your paramedics transferred you from your stairchair to the gurney. Gabby hopped in the drivers seat and Sylvie hopped in the back with you and Kelly.

“He hit-. Brice-,” you sputtered.

“I know, I know,” Kelly assured you, “he won’t be bothering you anymore.”

“We’re here,” Gabby called from the front.

Gabby and Sylvie unloaded you and took you into the ED at Med.

“Kelly, you can let her go. We got her,” Sylvie told your boyfriend.

Kelly continued holding your hand as you were brought in.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered in your ear.

You looked across the ED and saw Brice in the bay across from you.

“Kelly,” you winced, pointing in Brice’s direction.

Kelly let go of your hand on the gurney and they wheeled you into the trauma bay.

You could see Kelly going towards Brice’s gurney.

“Hey, don’t you go messing with her again. And if I see you even thinking about her, I will hunt you down and kick your ass, injuries be dammed,” Kelly yelled.

The only reason you could hear the threat was because your man yelled it. You were sure even the coma patients could hear him. Kelly started walking back to your trauma room and sat down beside you.

A nurse came up beside you and patted your hand.

“Hi, I’m April. We are going to get your stitched up and we’ll get you on your way,” the nurse beside you assured.

“Ok. Could you check on my friend? Kelly Severide? Firefighter, he was the one yelling earlier?” You asked.

“Yes, Kelly and I go way back.”

A doctor came by and stitched up your wounds. Just when she was finishing up, you heard a loud beeping sound. It was coming from Brice’s bay. Doctors and nurses started rushing over to help him.

Tears started to fill your eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Kelly asked, stroking your hair.

“Nothing, nothing,” you wiped the tears away from your eyes.

Kelly left your side for a moment and you could see him talking to that nurse, April, from before. You heard the Doctors and Nurses leaving Brice’s bay. You could see his head covered by a sheet.

Kelly walked back in the room later, followed by a man in a grey coat.

“I’m Doctor Charles,” the man told you.

Kelly walked over and planted a kiss on your forehead. The one that reminded you of breakfasts in bed and lazy Sunday afternoons.

“I’m going to head out, pick some stuff up for you from our apartment and I’ll be back,” Kelly told you.

You nodded and watched as he left your room.

“I’m the Head of Psychiatry here,” Doctor Charles continued, “your boyfriend, the lieutenant, told me that you’ve had a pretty difficult day. He was wondering if we could talk.”

You sat there, still, playing with your hair. Twisting it around your finger, the one thing that calms you in a time of stress.

“Could you maybe tell me about Brice?” he asked.

You wiped the tears streaming down your face.

“Brice is-, well, was, my ex-husband. We were together 3 years and had even gotten married when I met Kelly. There was a connection with Kelly that I just didn’t feel with Brice,” you told him.

“What happened when you left Brice?”

“Kelly and I started dating as soon as my divorce was final. The night after Kelly and I had our first date was the first time he attacked me. He punched and kicked and slapped me. He said he would stop if I came back to him.”

“Why didn’t you go back to him?”

“I didn’t love him. I love Kelly and I would do anything to be with him.”

Doctor Charles left your room. You were just sitting there, basking in the events of earlier. The fact that you had let him do it again haunted you. In your mind, it was all our fault. You should know not to tell him where you are.

Doctor Charles came back into your room and sat down beside you.

“I have some news for you,” he told you.

You just sat there silently, looking at the remains of your pantsuit in a bag on the floor.

“Your ex-husband, Brice, has passed away in our ED tonight,” he continued.

You started to cry.

Kelly came into your room. He sat beside you on your bed and wrapped you in a hug.

“Brice died,” you whimpered.

Kelly rubbed your back. As the tears dropped down your face, he whispered “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Your team of doctors and nurses admitted you to the ward. Your boyfriend, of course, followed you up.

“Do you want me to sleep here tonight?” Kelly asked, tucking in your blankets.

“It’s up to you,” you replied, half asleep yourself.

Kelly pulled up the chair to beside your bed. He sat down and tilted his head back to sleep.

“Hey Kelly?” you asked.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“For us to get married.”

Kelly’s head popped up to look at you.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

Kelly pulled a box out of his pocket. He popped it open and it was an engagement ring.

“You’ve been carrying it around all this time?” you asked.

“Of course, I knew it’d work out,” he replied.

You and Kelly kissed, Kelly putting the ring on your finger afterwards.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

—

After being out of the hospital for a few weeks and stuck at home, you desperately wanted to go out. You were off the painkillers now so you talked Kelly into taking you out to Molly’s.

“Are you sure?” Kelly asked, as you were getting ready to head to Molly’s.

“Yes. I got my jersey on and I’m gonna go watch the Blackhawks game at Molly’s and have a drink,” you replied.

Arriving at Molly’s was like coming home. It was were you and Kelly went for your first date, where Kelly originally proposed and where you watched your favourite hockey team win the cup.

You opened the door and were greeted by the loud cheering and applause by the family of Firehouse 51.

“What’s all this for?” You asked, surprised.

“We’ll, it’s part your engagement party and part getting this loose cannon tied down,” Herrmann laughed, patting Kelly on the shoulder.

“Beers on me,” Kelly called, “because I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

[sevendeadlymorons]

How would the brothers and undatables react to MC getting appendicitis? (Bonus points if the symptoms start shortly after eating Solomon’s cooking, so they don’t immediately realize how serious it is until the next day when everyone else is recovered but MC has only gotten worse)

Alright I’ve done my research on this, I think I can do it well and if not… enjoy the HC’s of the brothers taking care of a sick MC 🤣

Brothers + Dateables Reaction to MC Getting Appendicitis

WARNING: Mentions of Vomit

—————————————

Lucifer

You’d mentioned you had stomach pains after you ate Solomon’s food beforehand so he didn’t think much of your pain since they were all in a lot of pain after eating it too

But after your symptoms didn’t stop and you continued to have dizzy spells and bad nausea, he knew something was wrong

He knew a few human illnesses so he checked you over, examining your stomach only to hear you cry out in pain when your appendix area was touched

Immediately knew what was wrong and went out to get you medication, deciding against going to the hospital and instead treating you with some of his special treating potions

Took care of you while you were ill, getting you whatever you needed and making sure you were comfortable

You got lots of affection from his soft side during this time and Solomon got a nasty scolding

Mammon

He already knew about your stomach pains since he was having them pretty bad too

But after a few days, yours didn’t stop, you continuously threw up and clutched your stomach and even he knew something was wrong

Went to Lucifer for help, clinging to you like you were on deaths door as you keeled over in pain

While you were recovering, he was the sole person who took care of you, feeding you your meds and making sure not to touch your stomach. He knew not to now as last time he did, you almost cried out in pain and he’s honestly traumatised

To say he was cuddly would be an understatement, he held your hand constantly and rarely slept just in case you woke up in agony

Was very overprotective even after you recovered, especially around food that Solomon made

Leviathan

When you came into his room and told him you had a stomach ache after eating Solomon’s food, he couldn’t stay serious as he was real thankful it wasn’t him who ate it

But after a while and you were still curled up on his floor, writhing in pain, he began to panic and ran to your side so fast

He did his research and proceeded to prod a few areas of your stomach until he hits your appendix and you cry out and he immediately knew that this could be more serious than a stomach ache

After taking you to the hospital to get medication, he took care of you in his room all by himself. He didn’t care about the events he was missing on his games as long as you would be ok

Gave you gentle little hugs throughout the day and reminded you to take your meds; attempting to calm you down when the pain got too intense

Scolds you to be more careful next time because he doesn’t wanna lose you and definitely goes to have a word with Solomon after

Satan

He understood how you felt when you told him you had stomach pains as his was pretty bad too

But after observing you and the pain just didn’t stop and you started to throw up and cry out in pain when you do so much as breathe, he got very worried

He researched what could be wrong and then took you to the hospital for you to be examined, taking home your meds so he could take care of you

He supported you during your time of illness, making sure you were comfy in his bed and that you felt as little pain as possible since he hated seeing you in pain so much

He helped you take your medicine and even brought you to the toilet if you felt pretty nauseous, cuddling and shushing you afterwards to comfort you while reading you a book

He absolutely will never let you near any of Solomon’s food again and now has a habit of poking your appendix to make sure you were still ok

Asmodeus

He heard off Satan that Solomon came round with his cooking so wasn’t too surprised when you came in to his room clutching your stomach and telling him about the pain

He didn’t think much of it until a few hours later and you begin to gag and fall to your knees in agony, rushing to your side to check you were alright and then guiding you to the bathroom

Decides to confide in Lucifer about your issues and the two of them take you to the hospital to help and pick up some medication

He coddles you while you get better, taking full care of you so you can recover and get back to normal

Though he’s not too keen of the smell of your vomit, he takes you wherever you need and cleans you up completely, giving you lots of hugs and affection to cheer you up

So glad after you finish recovering and he can get back to his normal routine, but not after telling off Solomon for making you poorly

Beelzebub

He’s not gonna lie, he has stomach pains too so the two of you just look after each other for the day

But when your pains didn’t go away, and you couldn’t eat without feeling immense pain and sickness, he got majorly worried for you

Went to Lucifer for help and decided to take you to the hospital, his hand holding yours the entire way there to comfort you whilst he grabbed your medication

Proceeded to take good care of you while you were sick by helping you take your meds and bringing up food when your appetite finally came back

Gave you lots of hugs, making sure not to touch your stomach and making sure you were comfortable and in no pain while in his embrace

So happy when you begin to recover fully, immediately wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you tight and obviously dragging you far away from Solomon’s food offers

Belphegor

You woke him up to tell him your stomach hurt and he wasn’t too surprised since Beel came in earlier to tell him the same thing

He decided cuddling would help and held you to his chest, gradually drifting off with you in his arms, his hands placed on your stomach to attempt to soothe the pain

He was awoken by your cries of pain, his arms wrapped around your appendix area tightly. He let go and checked you over frantically, inspecting the area that hurt until he slowly figured out what was wrong

Took you to the hospital to examine you further and grabbed some meds to fix you

Spent the next few days looking after you in the attic, feeding you medicine and pieces of food throughout the day and holding you gently in his arms

Wouldn’t let you leave until he could successfully wrap his arms around your stomach without you whining in pain and thoroughly scolded Solomon the next day

Diavolo

He heard about the incident with Solomon’s cooking and decided to come over and take care of you since the brothers were slightly busy and needed some assistance

He made sure not to touch you in places that may hurt and followed the rules provided by Lucifer in order to properly take care of you

He completely just coddled you the entire week and treated you like royalty, taking you to the bathroom when you needed it and held your hand softly

Gave you medicine when you needed it and made sure you were comfy, hugs were given when asked for too

Brought over some of Barbatos’ best cakes to cheer you up and so you could forget about the horrors of Solomon’s food

Ended up forcing Solomon to take a baking lesson with Barbatos

Barbatos

He ended up changing his entire schedule so he could take care of you when he found out you were ill

He did extra research on how to help or soothe any pain you may be feeling and even brought heating pads with him that he gently placed on your stomach

Gave you medicine when you needed it and never let you forget it, also taking you to the bathroom or on walks to stretch your legs when you asked him to

When you felt up to it, he fed you some of his best cakes and shared some hot tea with you, holding you calmly in his arms

He wasn’t much for revealing his soft side but he didn’t hesitate to show how much he cared for you during the week he looked after you by giving you lots of affirmation and cheek caresses

No doubt gave Solomon a telling off and a few lessons on how to cook correctly

Solomon

When you told him about your stomach pains after eating his food, he honestly felt quite guilty and promised he’d make it up to you somehow

But after a few hours and you were still in agony, he got particularly worried and decide to examine you slightly, moving his hands over your stomach until he reached your appendix and you breathed out a pained yelp

Decided to treat you himself since he had a pretty good idea on what was wrong and immediately got to making potions to soothe your pain and treat your condition

While you were recovering, he helped keep your mood high by giving you words of affirmation and making sure you were comfortable in bed. He also found out making you laugh hurt you quite a bit so he tried to refrain from that

Held you in his arms for a while, apologising for the trouble he’s caused you

Never really offered you food after that unless it was cleared as edible by Beelzebub

Simeon + Luke

The two of them came over to look after you because Luke was practically freaking out as soon as he heard you were sick and was desperate to help you get better, no matter what it took

Simeon brought some of his best sandwiches from his cafe to make up for the awful sandwiches Solomon gave you earlier

Luke made sure you took your medicine after being put in charge of that duty from Simeon

Simeon reassured you that you’d be ok in his care throughout the week and caressed your cheek and arms multiple times a day

When Luke wasn’t in the room, he’d climb into bed with you and cuddle up to your side, resting your head on his shoulder and comforting you the best he could

The two of them took you on walks in the nearby garden when you asked them to and supported you if you felt you needed to throw up, thought Luke didn’t want to watch you while that happened

Luke was practically yelling at Solomon for making you ill, Simeon holding him back when Solomon ended up making jokes about how much of a chihuahua he was being

[thestarrynightslover]

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst! 

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.  

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened. 

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

[thebookreader12345]

Transference

Pairing: Blake Gallo x reader

Summary: Y/N and Blake have only been dating for a few months, and when someone Y/N saved begins to constantly flirt with her, Blake begins to get a little jealous

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: mentions of an allergic reaction and a slightly heavy makeout session

Word Count: 1,398 Words

“Blake,” I breathe out as he cornered me against the front of the washing machine, his lips dancing across my neck.

“Hmm,” Blake hummed against my skin, a sensation that sent shivers down my spine.

“What if someone sees us? This is the laundry room. It’s not exactly the most concealed place,” I point out.

“Everyone knows we’re together, so I don’t see the problem,” Blake said and untucked my shirt from my pants to run his hands up and down the skin on my sides.

“I know, but I’d prefer to do these things in private, like at your place after shift,” I suggest. Just then, the alarm bell rang throughout the firehouse, and the dispatcher came over the speakers.

“Ambulance 61, person down at 625 South Wood Street,” the dispatcher announced.

Blake groaned. “Oh come on!”

“We will finish this later,” I tell him and peck his lips before running towards the apparatus floor. I met up with Sylvie near the ambulance as I was tucking in my shirt, and together we climbed into our assigned seats. Sylvie always took the driver’s seat, and I always took the seat next to her.

“So uh, what was all that?” Sylvie asked.

“What was all what?” I question.

“Your shirt was untucked,” Sylvie noted. “What happened there?”

“N-nothing,” I stutter, my face turning a deep shade of red. “I was just using the bathroom.”

“Uh-huh,” Sylvie murmured. While everyone knew that Blake and I were together, I didn’t like talking about our relationship to our friends and co-workers. I liked keeping everything between the two of us. That included PDA and whatever else the two of us decided to do in private. So, I was not going to mention the little event that had happened minutes prior. In a few minutes, we pulled up to the correct address and grabbed our things from the back of the ambo. Upon entering the house, I heard no noise at all.

“Hello? Anyone here?” I shout into the house.

“Over here!” a man called out. Sylvie and I followed the voice into the dining room in the back of the house where there were two men, both of whom were on the floor. The one who talked to us looked fine. His friend, on the other hand, did not. His face was swelling up, and his breath was coming out in wheezes.

“Sir, my name is Sylvie. This is Y/N. What’s your name? What happened?” Sylvie quizzed as the two of us bent down.

“M-my name’s Andre. I-I don’t k-know what happened,” Andre stammered out. “Noah asked if I wanted to come over for dinner so we could watch the football game together, and after taking a few bites of food, this happened.” I glanced up at the table to see what Noah had eaten, and once I saw that it was shellfish, an idea popped into my head.

“Andre, has Noah ever eaten shellfish before today?” I ask.

Andre shook his head. “Neither of us have. We wanted to finally try it.”

“Well, shellfish is the most common allergy in the world, but very few people actually know they have it,” I inform Andre and grab the epinephrine from my bag. Seconds after injecting the epi into Noah’s arm, the swelling on his face started to go down, and it became easier for him to breathe.

“Oh my god. Noah! Don’t ever scare me like that again!” Andre lectured his friend.

Noah chuckled weakly. “Sorry.”

“We’re going to take him to Chicago Med just so that the doctors can examine him and make sure everything is okay. You’re free to follow us if you’d like,” Sylvie told Andre. After dropping Noah off at the hospital, Sylvie and I made our way back to Firehouse 51, and I thought I would never see either Noah or Andre again. Little did I know I’d be wrong.

......................................

Next shift had been pretty relaxing so far. We hadn’t had any calls, so everyone was just lounging around in either the break room or on the apparatus floor. I was hanging out with Blake by Truck 81, and as we were talking, a familiar face walked into the firehouse.

“Noah, hey,” I greet the man and make my way over to him.

“It’s Y/N, right?” Noah questioned.

I nodded. “That’s me. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Noah replied. “The doctors confirmed my allergy of shellfish, so now I know to never touch it again. They also told me that if you hadn’t gotten to me when you did, I might’ve died. I guess I just wanted to come say thank you.” Noah then produced a beautiful bouquet of lilies from behind his back and handed them to me. “Here. These are for you.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” I tell him and take the flowers from his hand, inhaling the pleasant aroma that emitted from the lilies.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Noah confessed. “It’s the least I can do for you saving me. I uh, I actually have to go, but I hope I see you around sometime.” And with that, Noah turned around and left the firehouse. I smiled as I made my way back to Blake, my gaze still trained on the flowers in my hand.

“Who was that?” Blake asked and glanced between the flowers and the exit.

“Just some guy Sylvie and I saved last call,” I respond.

“He brought you flowers,” Blake pointed out.

“Like I said, we saved his life,” I reiterate. Blake frowned, and I sighed, taking a step towards him to place my hand on his shoulder. “He’s nobody special, Blake. I’ve still only got eyes for you.” That made my boyfriend perk up a little bit. “I’m gonna go put these in the break room. I’ll be right back.” For the second time, I believed that I would never see Noah again. But like before, I would be wrong.”

Time-skip to Next Week

Seeing Noah again was kind of weird. I mean, I had former patients stop by to thank me, but usually once they say their thank yous, I never see them again. For Noah to come back, I was getting the sense that something was up.

“Hey, Noah. What are you doing here?” I question.

“I came to see you,” Noah answered.

“Oh. What for?” I quiz.

“I feel like we’ve had a connection ever since we first met, and I can’t stop thinking about you. So I came down to see if you wanted to go on a date with me,” Noah proposed. I sighed, finally understanding what was happening here. I had heard about this a lot since I worked in a firehouse, and I guess it was finally my turn to deal with it.

“Noah, there’s this idea called transference. It basically means that someone falls for the person that saved them. I think you’ve gone over what happened to you so many times, and you’ve attached yourself to me because I’m someone who made you feel safe. But you don’t have actual feelings for me. What you’re feeling, it’ll go away sometime soon. And I actually have a boyfriend,” I add and rock back and forth on the balls of my feet.

“Oh,” Noah murmured. “I feel so embarrassed now.”

“Don’t be,” I counter. “Multiple people have been in your shoes.”

“Well, I guess I should go. Thank you though, for everything,” Noah told me before leaving the firehouse. As soon as he left, I was joined by Blake.

“What’d he want?” Blake asked me.

“He asked me out on a date,” I reply.

“He did what? What’d you say?” Blake questioned.

“I told him no, obviously. I have you, remember? He had the classic transference thing. You know, where someone falls for the person who saved them,” I explain. “Now, after this crazy week, all I want to do is make out with my amazing boyfriend, and I believe the laundry room is empty right now.”

“I thought you didn’t like kissing in there because someone could see us,” Blake exclaimed.

“Right, but I’m feeling a little risky today,” I claim. “So, you in?”

Blake smiled. “I’m so in.”

“Then lets go,” I say and grab onto his hand to drag him to the laundry room, where my crazy week would only get better.

__________________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarlettsoldier @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13​ @anotherfan07

[moral-turpitudes]

I’ll Follow You Into The Dark:

Masterlist | Rules | Peaky Prompts

Trigger Warnings: ANGST, Explosions, Mentions of Blood, Gore etc, and some Fluff.

*Based on Fluff Prompt #1 from my Peaky Prompts list.*

Word Count: 1,695

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Requested: Yes

Requested by: Anon, you can find it here.

Summary: When Thomas and the rest of the blinders head towards a trap, Y/N has to decide if they’ll stay behind or go with them. Knowing that they vowed to be with him until death.

“If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark”

- Death Cab for Cutie

The sound of explosions rang faintly in the distance as you held your hands over your ears, the impact dulling your hearing as a sharp ringing filled them.

“Tom!” You yelled into the void, hoping to hear him through the chaos.

Silence.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you crawled through the sharp debris, looking for the bomb that was set off nearby, hoping to find the remnants of the man who taunted your family and made the fatal mistake of stepping in his own trap. His evil smirk etching it’s way into your memory as he walked in the lavish room ever-so carefully. Thinking he’d be able to avoid the perilous wires near his foot as you spotted them before he did, your warning causing him to take his final step. Your hands soon scraping through the chunks of drywall and broken glass as the dust and smoke burned your eyes and lungs, your mind racing with finding the man whom you’d followed that day into the trenches, so-to-speak. 

Every Peaky Blinders mission for Thomas was like a battle, his mind always set on planning attacks to escape the scraping sound of the shovels against the hot, dark tunnels. But as always, no matter how many times he tried to stay one step ahead of his rivals, someone always got in the way. 

It started out as an ordinary day, Thomas calling a meeting and giving orders to head to the latest location on his mental hit-list. The name making your heart sink as you realized he was walking into a trap. The infamous, cunning gang leader you’d came to share a bed with was going to waltz right into what he swore he never would.

“Any questions?” He asked, his eyes lingering on yours as he blew out a puff of smoke.

Everyone nodded along except you, knowing the people they were going after were just as dangerous. That week, the rival gang had crossed the line, threatening and taunting the Shelby family with letters and fake explosives just to remind them of “who really ran the town.” One of them said in a tense phone call to Thomas, setting off the chain of events leading up to now.

The decision to leave your clerical duties was a rash one. Nervously following your husbands car to their destination. Once there, you parked a ways back, behind a slew of trees. Your steps light against the cobblestones as you got closer to them, knowing in your heart you had to warn him, even if it was the last thing you’d say to the man you loved.

“Tommy! Wait!” You said loudly, your heart racing from the effort it took to catch up to him and his brothers.

“Y/N...you need to go back to the shop, it’s not safe. Go.” He said lowly, not wanting to call attention to you all.

“I came here to warn you Tom. Remember when you sent me to sit in on their meeting at the pub? They mentioned a trap. I-I didn’t think much of it then, but after the threats...Tom I know it’s a trap. If you go in there now you won’t make it out.” You said as tears formed in your eyes, your nerves getting to you as you struggled to speak. 

“I have to, love. Now go.” He said, kissing you quickly. 

“No. I’m going with you.” You said defiantly, pulling out the handgun he gave you, checking to make sure it was fully loaded.

He had a pained look on his face as he nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to change your mind. You’d been a good shot in the past, but that didn’t exactly mean much when explosives were concerned.

You all had barely made it through the first floor of the large manor before the first one went off. Thomas shoving you to the ground, shielding you from the small debris falling through the air. As the haze cleared, you sat up, feeling Thomas pull you to the nearest wall, yelling orders at his brothers before checking his bullets.

“Keep your eyes peeled for the wires yeah? Stay behind me.” He said, opening the door as the dust covered space cleared. You walked closely behind, quietly looking at the ground for any signs of the deadly wires as you heard yelling upstairs. Arthur was shouting amongst gunfire, and John sounded like he was scrapping with one of the men they were after.

Thomas roughly took your hand, leading you up the stairs in a sideways motion, backs towards the wall, checking around the corner with a quick glance before a bullet whizzed past your head. A scream caught in your throat as you realized how close you were to the darkness of death itself. Thomas soon returned fire, the screams of the man he hit echoing through the stone hallway that led to his brothers.

Upon arrival, you flanked your husband, pointing your gun at the man holding John down as Thomas shot the other.

“Get off of him!” You yelled, catching the mans attention enough to where John could get a punch in. The man hurling himself angrily at you soon enough until you shakily shot him. The man falling limp to the ground within seconds. Your hands shook as you took in the sight, trying to distract yourself from the blood by looking at the ground for more wires.

Almost as soon as you’d said that though, the man who’d sent you all the taunting letters came in with a menacing smirk, stepping in a weird way so as not to disturb the floor. But your eyes saw the colored wires poking out ever so slightly, your brain wondering how in the hell you all avoided it earlier.

“Everybody down!” You yelled, causing the man to misstep, setting it off. The wind soon knocked out of you as the blast hurled everyone to the ground. The ceiling caving in in various places as well as part of the floor below you.

You felt yourself relax as you breathed in the smoke, feeling as though you were going to pass out from the ordeal. The sharp pain of the glass shards stuck in your now shredded coat the only thing keeping you clinging to consciousness. As you closed your eyes, you pictured what life would be like if he’d never had the family business thrust upon him after the war. How he’d have probably married you sooner and how you’d probably be chasing little kids around by now in a big house on the outskirts of town. But now, reality set in as Arthur’s shouts came through the muddled noise, Johns following not too far behind as they ran towards you, grabbing you up in the knick of time. The once lavish building crumbling before your eyes as you knew the one you loved was most likely gone.

“Tom!” You called out, hands still scraping through the rubble of the first floor as Arthur and John dug through the rest of the larger stuff. Tears visibly splattering on the dust covered floor, the tiles smashed beyond repair.

Your heart ached knowing you’d never find him as you scraped through the debris, your hearing slowly coming back and eyes watering as you continued on, stopping once a hand reached out from one of the corners.

“Y/N.....” Thomas said weakly, his arm badly cut and his face busted up as he spat up blood, most likely from his busted lip or the jagged stone poking him in the chest. It most definitely broke a few ribs, causing him too much pain to move as he thought about what to do, even though he couldn’t do much of anything at the moment.

It seemed like he waited longer now, than he did for the calvary in France, for his brothers to make it to where he was. Helping him up despite his loud groans of pain.

You watched in horror as they drove him to the hospital, his face paling as you followed behind their car, hoping that neither heaven nor hell would take him, even though he belonged to the latter. Hoping that he would stay here, for you. For his family.

Hours had slowly passed until you’d gotten word he was going to make it, the doctors saying he was damn well close to dying by the time they’d got him in surgery.

“There you are love.” He said weakly, the meds doing his head in as he saw you walk in carrying his beloved cigarettes and his bloodstained coat. Your own body covered in various bandages as you sat next to his bed.

“I thought you were dead.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks as he cupped your face with his hand. A small, pained laugh escaping his lips.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Y/N.” He said. Knowing he might as well have nine lives with as close he’s been to death over the years.

“I know...” you said shortly, holding his bruised hand in yours that were bandaged up.

“But...please promise me...that next time you’ll listen to me. At least when I know it’s a trap alright?” You asked, concern lacing your every feature as you felt him pull your hand to his lips, kissing the top of it gently.

“I will, but promise me something as well.” He said.

“What?” You asked.

“Promise me you won’t follow me next time. You shouldn’t have to risk your life for me.” He said, a serious look in his tired, blood-shot eyes.

“I can’t promise that Tommy. I’ll follow you into the dark not matter what. I fucking vowed to you know.” You said, pointing at the diamond on your ring finger.

“Aye, but you’re my partner. Can’t have you dying too.” He said.

“That is true, but what is love without sacrifice?” You said, giving him a light kiss as he pulled you close despite his injuries. Wanting to feel you beside him, to know that he wasn’t stuck in the rubble anymore, to know that he had you, and you had him.

Thomas Shelby Tag List:

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[justmypartner]

Still Breathing: Chapter 3

Summary: AU | When a case goes sideways, Hailey wakes up in the hospital with a revelation that leaves her evaluating her life. While she recovers at Med, she meets Jay, an aloof, yet intriguing patient that catches her by surprise. The two get to know one another as they take on the task of rediscovering what it’s like to truly live, and eventually learn their lives intersect in more ways than one.

Writer’s Note: Hi everyone!! I want to apologize because this chapter is coming way later than I intended. I ended up rewriting it several times with different scenarios because I couldn’t quite figure out the best way to work in the dialogue I had planned. Nevertheless, I finally figured it out, and I’m really happy to finally share. I’m hoping to get the next chapter out really soon, so be on the look out! Thank you so much for reading!

Read on AO3 or below

Hailey’s heart stopped in her chest as she watched the man snake a hand into the girl’s hair, yanking her to the ground in one fell swoop. 

“Hey man, can’t we leave her out of it,” she offered, swallowing back the lump forming in her throat. 

“Oh yeah? Since when do I take orders from you?” the man raised, removing his fingers from the girl’s hair and wrapping both hands around the rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Not an order. I’m just saying she’s only a kid. She’s got no part in this, and she’s scared to death. That alone should shut her up, we should just let her go,” she told him, trying to control her breathing that left her words coming out in shudders. 

He took a step from the girl, his movements shifting in Hailey’s direction. It took everything in her not to reach for the weapon concealed in her boot. Her instincts in that moment were telling her things were about to go sideways, but her training was forcing her to let it all play out. She inhaled sharply as the man raised the barrel of the gun at her chest, and her hands immediately rose to the air. 

“You know, it’s kinda hard to have a conscience in this line of work. Which makes me wonder why someone like you who is supposedly waist deep in the game suddenly wants to play saint. Unless you aren’t who you say you are,” he spat, racketing the gun and sending her heart falling into her stomach.

“Woah, okay. Don’t be stup-“

She startled awake. Sweat pooled against her skin and her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she came out of yet another nightmare. It was the third night in a row she was ripped out of sleep by her unconscious mind’s cruel fixation on the shooting. She was having the same dream each time, a replay of the events leading up to her being shot, and it all began the first night she was discharged from the hospital. She figured it was just part of being home, finally being able to sleep more than an hour at a time. Part of her also wondered if it was the isolation that triggered the nightmares. The noises of the hospital were enough to keep her awake, but they were also enough to remind her she wasn’t alone.

When she first regained consciousness, the memories of that day were only fragments. Then slowly, with each day that passed, more pieces would come back to her. She soon realized that the more she remembered, the more she wanted to forget. She knew it wasn’t healthy, and she knew she’d have to work through it eventually, but she wanted to do it properly and on her own terms. So, for the time being, she was just trying her best to distract herself from it. Yet, no matter how hard she tried to push it all from her mind, she was dragged right back to it every night she slipped into a deep sleep. 

Her doctor had given her three days to rest up before returning to work. After just the first day of idling around her place alone, she was already going stir crazy. It was hard not to think about everything that happened, especially when her place was quiet and there was nothing else to do. She tried to occupy herself with movies, books, tv, anything that kept her mind elsewhere, but the only thing that actually seemed to work were her conversations with the stranger.  

The two had been messaging one another daily ever since that night she returned from the hospital. It was mainly small talk, surface level conversations throughout the day, but it was enough to be a distraction from everything. Talking to him was easy and exciting, and it was just what she needed to get through those desolate days off.

Her last day was the exact same as the other two. She woke up way earlier than she would have liked, rolled out of bed begrudgingly, and planted herself on the couch where she’d remain for the rest of the day. The hours seemed to drag on, and it seemed like nothing could pull her out of the bad mood she was in. That was until her phone buzzed on the table sometime late in the afternoon. She practically leapt from the couch to answer it, eager for some sort of human interaction after days of consuming fictional stories about fictional characters. When she read his name across the screen, a combination of confusion and joy overcame her. They had spent all of that time texting, she wasn’t sure what made him suddenly want to call, but she wasn’t looking to complain. 

“Hello?” she greeted, her voice slightly raspy from having not spoken all day. 

“Hi,” he replied, the simple word drastically perking her mood.

“What’s up?” 

“Just wondering what you’re up to. I know how fidgety cops can get while on bedrest.”

“Speaking from experience are we?”

“So you are fidgety?”  

“What can I say? As much fun as it is to lie around and watch movies alI day, I really miss the job.”

“Junkie,” he teased. 

She could picture the grin on his face just by the tone of his voice, and she let out a dramatic scoff, fighting the smile breaking away across her lips.

“Would you want some company?”

This sent her eyes trailing around the room, assessing the mess that had accumulated over the past few days as she decided how to answer. She wasn’t usually open to having people over, even people she knew well, but after days of isolation she knew she could use the interaction.

“Actually, yeah. That’d be nice,” she finally settled, rising to begin tidying the room.

“Okay, cool. I’ll see you in a bit then?”  

“Yeah, I’ll text you the address.”

“Great,” he said before she pulled the phone from her ear to end the call. She picked up the collection of empty take out containers on the table and carried them to the trash bin in the kitchen. She did her best to clear up the place in such short notice, fluffing the pillows and folding the blanket she had been living in over the past few days. It wasn’t the cleanest it had ever been, but she figured it would have to do.

Not long after, she heard a knock on the door. She stopped at the mirror by the entryway, taking a moment to smooth out her curls before pulling the door open. He stood on the other side, his tall stature towering over her with a greeting grin on his face and two tubs of ice cream in his hands. 

“Hi,” she muttered. 

“Hey, brought you something,” he said, raising the two containers in the air. 

“I see that- Wait you got Scooter’s. That’s my all-time favorite place,” she beamed when she saw the label on the cup. 

“Figured you can’t go wrong with it.” 

“Now I know this is the start of a beautiful friendship, come in,” she smirked. He let out a low chuckle as he stepped inside, just enough for her to close the door. 

She walked him to the living room where she gestured towards the couch. He sat as she moved to the kitchen for spoons.

“I got you chocolate because that’s what it looked like you were eating that day in the elevator. I got mint chip for myself, but if you prefer that I’m willing to trade,” he explained, his voice raised slightly to be heard from the other room. There was almost a touch of nervousness in his voice, and as cool as she was playing it, she was feeling nervous too. She made her way back into the living room and sat down across from him.

“Chocolate is perfect,” she said, trading one of the spoons in her hand for the small tub of ice cream in his. 

“So how are you healing up?” he asked as she settled cross-legged onto the couch facing him. 

“No more pain really, my arm is kinda sore when I get dressed and stuff, but other than that I’m doing pretty well,” she told him.

“How are you sleeping?” the words left his mouth in a way that almost made it seem like he’d already known the answer.

“I’m managing,” she said plainly. 

“It was always pretty bad for me the first few weeks after. I feel like nobody ever really talks about it, but getting shot is a really strange and terrifying sensation. No matter where it happens or how bad it is, that feeling sticks with you. Keeps you awake at night,” he divulged, his eyes never leaving hers despite the way she desperately tried to avoid them.

“It’s more than that for me. It’s… I don’t know it’s everything else too,” she whispered, moving her spoon around in the half-empty tub in her hands. He didn’t say anything, but the look on his face told her he knew exactly what she meant. 

“Anyway, I don’t really want to talk about all of that,” she sighed out, silence falling upon them briefly.

“So are you finally going to tell me your name?” she eventually asked, attempting to throw the conversation as far away from her as she could.

“Nope,” he said straightly.

“Okay, tell me this then, which unit are you from?” 

She figured if she could pull out some details, she could eventually use them to look up his name. He was quiet, but he carried a knowing look on his face. She knew he saw right through her, and she figured it meant she was about to be shot down once again.

“How about… how about we play a game of truth or truth. It’s a game I used to play with the guys in my units overseas, and it’s a good way to get to know somebody,” he presented. It wasn’t what she was expecting, but it was the perfect diversion to avoid the question.

“Basically, we each get the same number of questions. They can be deeply personal or stupidly basic, but whatever the question is, the other person has to answer and they have to answer truthfully,” he proposed.

“Okay,” she nodded, greatly intrigued by the idea.  

“I want to set some rules though,” he said hesitantly. She quirked a brow at him, waiting for him to dish them out.

“You aren’t allowed to ask for my name, and no questions or talk about the job… from either of us,” he offered, cutting his eyes up at her as he moved to finish off the contents in his cup. It baffled her why he was so guarded about those two things in particular, but she was itching to know more about him so she agreed. He let her start them off. She decided on a question that wasn’t too revealing, not too deep, but answered something she had wondered since the day they met.

“How old are you?” she inquired, raising forward to place her empty tub on the edge of the coffee table. 

“36.” 

“Interesting, I actually thought you were way younger than that,” she admitted, tilting her head as she looked at him to try and match his face with that age.

“Well, I usually have a beard. That usually helps me look more my age. This clean shaven face gives me a very youthful glow,” he boasted with a teasing grin.

“Youthful glow, okay,” she repeated in amusement. 

“Okay, how old are you then?” he threw back. 

“32,” she revealed, dipping her head with her words.

“Interesting, I thought you were way older than that,” he said satirically, causing her to fling a pillow at him with a snarl. 

They spent the next hour or so firing off question after question. Any sort of nervousness was soon gone as they fell into a natural level of comfort with one another. The conversations jumped around from things as deep as what their childhoods were like, to things as simple as their coffee orders. In that brief amount of time they spent on that couch, it seemed as though they learned a lifetime’s worth of stuff about each other. They laughed, they tugged on each other’s hearts, and by the end of it, she genuinely began to see him as a friend and she hoped he did too. 

When the conversation began to die down they threw on a movie, shifting their positions so they were side by side on the couch. There was a good bit of distance between them, but she couldn’t help but recognize how nice it felt to be so near to him. She chalked it up to days of solitude, but she couldn’t deny that there was something else about him that gave her that feeling. Something that made her feel safe and solaced.

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep or how much of the movie she’d missed out on when she slipped into her nightmare again. She woke at the same moment she always did, just before that first shot rang out, except this time when she shook awake, her body was fighting off a hand gripped around her wrist. 

She was disoriented as she took in the sight of him, a fearful look in his eyes seen from under the brim of his ball cap, one hand gripped tightly around her wrist and the other gently wrapped around her opposite arm. 

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay,” he repeated over and over as she tried to control her breathing. He released his grasp, backing up to give her space and a minute to sit up. She rubbed a hand against her eyes as she tried to regain her bearings. 

“What happened?” she questioned groggily, thrown off by the way he was practically holding her down when she woke.

“You were screaming, then you started thrashing at me. I didn’t want you to hurt yourself,” he whispered, a gentle, yet concerned look on his face.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t hurt you did I?” she inspected, looking him up and down for any injuries. 

“No, no, I’m fine. Are you though? Has that been happening a lot?” he questioned, kneeling before her, his eyes level with hers. She nodded slowly.

“Ever since I got home from the hospital. It’s the same every time. Right before the shooting, and I wake up with the first shot,” she admitted, her eyes looking down into her lap to avoid his.

“You should talk to someone,” he suggested. 

The look in his eyes told her he knew exactly what she was going through, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

“I will,” she said unconvincingly.

“I’m serious. It’s more helpful than you’d think.”

She just nodded again, rubbing at her face once more.

“I should probably go, I know your first day back is tomorrow. You need the rest,” he said, rising from the ground to stand. She rose with him, following as he moved towards the front door. He turned around just before he made it there, a soft look on his face and a disquieted look in his eyes.

“Are you going to be okay?” 

"Yeah,” she uttered, slowly blinking her eyes to confirm to him she meant it.

“Thanks for coming by. I’m really sorry about all of that,” she told him as they stood there in the entryway of her place. His forehead twisted into a frown with her words.

“What? No, you have nothing to be sorry about,” he returned immediately, the stern look on his face allowing her to know he meant it. 

She clenched her jaw and bowed her head with his words. In a way she didn’t want to say goodbye. She liked the comfort of him being there, but at the same time she was embarrassed that he had seen her in that state. She also recognized that they were just barely getting out of the stranger phase. With all of that, she snapped herself out of the idea of asking him to stay a while longer. His head fell into a nod while he moved his hand to open the door. 

“Wait- one more question for the road?” she interrupted his movements, causing him to spin around completely. 

“Okay,” he gave in, slowly leaning back into the still shut door. 

“Why won’t you tell me your name?” she asked, crossing her arms as she stood before him, looking up into his steely eyes. He inhaled deeply, holding it a second before releasing and meeting his eyes with hers.

“You’re not going to give this up are you?” he asked her, a tone of defeat in his voice.

“You do realize I interrogate people for a living, right?” she reminded. He shook his head, inhaling sharply. She figured he was going to brush her off again. Then his eyes met hers and his mouth began to move and she froze as if any sudden movement might change his mind.

“My team doesn’t know about my cancer. They think I’m on vacation, traveling the world or sitting on a beach somewhere,” she watched him swallow hard before continuing. 

“I watched my mom deal with the same cancer as me, a worse diagnosis, but still I had to watch the way people’s perception of her shifted. Her whole identity, her whole reputation, it was all wiped out and replaced with her diagnosis. Everything she was disappeared and all she became was ‘the woman with cancer’ and ‘the woman who was dying’. I didn’t want that. I also didn’t want them to watch me deteriorate if I got as bad off as her. So my friends, my teammates, they don’t know I’m sick and they don’t even know I’m in Chicago. I didn’t want to tell you my name on the off chance we run in the same circles. I don’t want anyone to find out,” he explained, unfolding the details in a way that tore at Hailey’s heart.

“So you’re going through this alone?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes by his words.

“I’ve got my brother, and now… if this doesn’t scare you off, I feel like I have you,” he said. She was taken aback by the words, and she froze. Not in fear, but in flattery. She didn’t even have to think. The words were flying out of her mouth before he had the chance to think otherwise.

“Yeah, you’ve got me,” she muttered, nodding her head with the words. “You’ve got me,” she repeated, swallowing to fight back her erupting tears. His lips curled into a fake smile, and he nodded before turning and opening the door. Her eyes traced his movements as he climbed down the steps and walked the pavers that led to the street. He didn’t make it far before he stopped in his tracks.

“You know, I don’t think calling me a stranger really works anymore,” he said, twirling around with a pensive look on his face. 

“I agree,” she called out to him, her hand curling around the door frame as a rush of anticipation went through her body. She wondered if he was going to finally give in. Finally tell her his name.

“Promise to keep my secret, to not look me up if I tell you my name,” he asked after a moment. She took a beat, her eyes looking up into the sky before she made her way down the steps to meet him where he stood, holding out a pinky as her eyes looked up into his. A lighthearted, yet contemptuous laugh escaped his lips as he realized what she was offering. He brought a pinky to hers, wrapping it around and shaking their hands together. 

“Pinky promise,” she whispered, a childish grin on her face. They pulled away and he smiled back at her a moment. 

“Jay. My name is Jay,” he revealed quietly. Her face brightened immediately, giving away the excitement that came with finally learning his name. 

“Jay,” she repeated, noting the way it suited him so well. “I’m really glad I met you, Jay,” she told him. 

“Me too,” he said, his eyes falling to the ground and raising up to hers just before he turned to walk back towards the street. 

“And just so you know,” she called out when he made it to his car. “Your secret is safe with me,” she affirmed once more. He flashed her a final look of content and she made her way back up her front steps, watching him wave before climbing in his truck and driving off down the street. 

It took her a while to decompress after everything that happened that night. She never expected to learn so much about him, to reveal so much about herself, or to be even more allured by him than she already was.

I feel like I have you, he told her. Those words echoed in her head for the rest of the night. It was clear that he needed a person with everything he was going through, but she realized she needed a person too. She had her friends at work, but what she had with him was different. She still felt like she had to keep her guard up with them. Not show them her bruised parts or the things that made her vulnerable. But with him it was different. There were times that night when they were vulnerable together, revealing things she wouldn’t normally reveal to anyone, let alone someone she’d only known for a few days. It was whatever connection they had. She couldn’t explain it, but it was organic and real, and it worked. 

She kept thinking about what he said about not wanting people to know about his diagnosis. Not wanting to be defined by it. She figured that’s why whatever thing they were building between each other worked so well. With her there was no bias, no warped perception of who he was, no before and after. She was getting everything, diagnosis and all, and because of that he was just Jay. A random stranger she’d met in an elevator. In a way it scared her to get too attached to him, knowing he was dealing with something that could limit his days. Yet, she realized the thing that brought them together was a shared reminder that one way or another, life is always limited. Whether we recognize it or not. The more she learned about him, the more she felt as though they were meant to find each other. So, part of her felt sure enough to see it through.

Before bed, she went into her office to find the notepad she had started her list on. It made her excited to cross her first item off, and even more excited to cross off more. She pulled out her phone, clicking his contact and changing it from Stranger from the Elevator to Jay. Her cheeks dimpled at this, and her fingers danced across the screen to type out a message to him. 

Thanks for helping me cross off the first item of my list… and for earlier 

Three dots rose on her screen as he typed out a response, and not long after, her phone pinged with an incoming message. 

Glad I could help with the list. As for the other thing, I’m here if you ever need to talk.

Sleep well tonight. No bad dreams

She smiled at his words and prepared herself to sleep. She needed the rest, but she dreaded the impending nightmares. She laid awake with his words in her head. Sleep well. No bad dreams. She had a hope that his words were enough to ward off the turmoil that remained in her mind, and somehow that hope was enough to eventually soothe her to sleep. 

[whatisthiswritingthing]

When in Houston - Part Two - Alex Morgan x Reader

Part two to When in Houston. 

Little long, smidgen of angst, more feels. 

Alex had tried to remain at the hospital during the surgery, wanting to be there when Y/N got out of surgery. Kelley and Allie had finally convinced the forward she would be better showered, rested, and fed for the other forward. So she had reluctantly gone back to the hotel, waiting for the hospital to call when Y/N would be ready for visitors.

The hospital didn’t phone until late that evening, reassuring Alex that Y/N was out of surgery and was fine, but would not be able to have any visitors until early the next morning. Alex had tried to argue with the nurse on the phone with no success, the nurse gently informed her that Y/N was heavily sedated from surgery and under strong pain killers and wouldn’t be coherent until the morning. This did nothing to settle the soccer players nerves, Kelley and Allie again had to step in and keep Alex from storming the hospital.

The two friends did their best to not push Alex, desperately wanting to know about the relationship, Allie wanting to know more about the interaction she had seen earlier at the stadium. They also managed to keep the rest of the team out of the room to avoid any other players asking questions that weren’t Alex’s to answer.

Alex made her way to the hospital as soon as she could the next morning, remaining by Y/N’s side the as much as possible. She only left the long enough for team events and when the nurses would kick her out at the end of the night. Y/N was still fairly medicated for majority of the time, causing her to drift in and out of sleep.

Players came in and out during the week, Alex vigilant by her bedside the entire time. Sharp looks from Kelley and Allie stopped many other players from asking too many questions about the relationship; each fighting their own strong urge to ask. Y/N would try and fight sleep as other players would visit, Alex kicking many of the young players out, only allowing those closest to Y/N to remain.

After the fourth day, Alex returned to the hospital after practice to witness Y/N arguing with a nurse.

“Just get me whatever paperwork I need, I’m leaving,” Y/N was propped up her bed, frustration clear in her tone.

“Y/N, we can’t release you yet. We have discharge and transport plans for two days from now,” the nurse tried to calmly explain.

The team would be playing their last game the next day, travelling home the day after that. Alex, the team, and the hospital had all orchestrated a plan to get Y/N as comfortably as possible.

“I don’t care about two days from now, I want to leave now. So get me whatever paperwork to sign,” Y/N said, struggling to slide her way out of the bed.  

Alex rushed fully into the room, pushing her hands on Y/N’s hips to stop the motion while the nurse pressed her shoulders. Y/N struggled against both of them, but the pain and medication making it easy for the two to keep her in bed. Fatigue quickly won out and Y/N sagged back into the bed with a small heave.

The nurse quickly rushed to readjust Y/N’s injured leg while Alex pressed a firm hand to the middle of Y/N’s chest.

“What the hell are you trying to do?” Alex questioned the young defender, giving a sharp look to the nurse, before softening and looking back to Y/N.

“I want to leave,” Y/N said firmly.

The nurse moved away, remaining in the room to help fill in any blanks.

“Y/N/N, you are exhausted just from trying to get out of bed, you aren’t going anywhere,” Alex was confused. Y/N had been so compliant since the surgery, she struggled to accept the help, but never outright fought it. Alex could understand her wanting to leave the hospital, but everyone had agreed it would be better for her to remain there than the hotel until they left for Orlando.

“I want to leave,” Y/N tried to say firmly, suppressing a yawn.

Alex left her hand on Y/N’s chest, resting her other along her jaw.

Behind the agitation, Alex could see the fear behind the mask. Feel the tension over the pain. The way Y/N’s eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape. Y/N brought her hand up, gripping the wrist wresting on her chest; the grip almost painful at how tight it was. It was the most alert Y/N had been since her surgery. Alex softened immediately after taking in her girlfriend.

“What’s going on love?” Alex whispered softly.

“Nothing, I’m fine, I want to leave,” Y/N attempted to remain firm, unable to make eye contact with the brunette.

The nurse slipped out of the room when she realized her patient would no longer try and escape.

Keeping her hand on Y/N’s chest, Alex blindly reached back for the chair, tugging it as close to the bed as she could. Y/N turned her head to look away, Alex let her. The two remained in silence while Y/N continued to fight sleep, having pulled Alex’s hand off her chest, fidgeting with her fingers with both hands on her belly.

Alex knew Y/N would tell her what was going on, but clearly needed time to process. Y/N rolled her head to look at Alex twice before looking away.

“You want to be here, right?” Y/N softly, her chin dropping to her chest.

“What? I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Alex declared adamantly, flipping her hand over, stilling Y/N’s fidgeting hands.

“You should focus on the game tomorrow, not here with me. I’m good to go, I can take a flight back tonight,” Y/N tried to pull her hands away, only for Alex to pin both to Y/N’s stomach.

“What happened while I was gone?”

“Nothing,” Y/N turned her head away again. “Phelycia showed up,” she whispered lowly.

“She showed up here?” Alex tightened her hold on Y/N’s hands, irritation leaking into her tone.

“I’m sorry Alex,” Y/N tried to forcefully pull her hands away. “I didn’t want her here, I promise Alex. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Alex brought their joined hands to her mouth, kissing her knuckles, then opened Y/N’s hand so her palm was open, pressing it against her own chest now.

“I know you didn’t Y/N,” Alex said sincerely, cutting off the start of an apologetic ramble. “I know. And I am not mad at you, I am mad at her for showing up here, and I am mad I wasn’t here to protect you. But I am not mad at you.” She repeats the last part firmly, making sure Y/N knows she means it.

Y/N could only nod, tears welling in her eyes, refusing to fall.

“What did she want?”

“Umm I don’t know, I think I had a panic attack,” she admitted, ashamed. “But I think there was something about got what I deserved for leaving. Umm you, that you, that um, you would leave.”

Her brows furrowed while she tried to remember what all was said.

“The nurse came in and she left, I don’t think she was here long. I can’t remember.”

“Did she hurt you?” Alex tensed, not overly wanting the answer.

“I don’t think so,” Y/N shook her head, “but these meds make everything so fuzzy.”

Alex nodded her head, processing what she was told. She slowly got out of her chair, Y/N panicked and tightened their clasped hands.

“Shh relax babe,” Alex soothed, “I’m just coming into the bed.”

Alex pried their hands apart, climbing into the bed as gently as she could. Pulling the girl as close to her chest as she could. Alex had learned early in their relationship that while Y/N was nervous of contact, once she was comfortable, she craved it. Alex squeezed both Y/N’s biceps, compressing them into her chest.

“I am not going anywhere Y/N,” Alex whispered directly into Y/N’s ear, placing a gentle kiss on the tip. “I love you Y/N.” She moved to kiss her temple. It had been the first time she told Y/N, worried saying it earlier would frighten then young defender, but knew now was the right time, that Y/N needed to hear it. She knew she wouldn’t hear it back, at least not anytime soon, and she was ok with that.

Alex wanted to say more but could already feel the younger woman going limp in her arms as she finally drifted off to sleep.

“Should we lock up the wheelchairs?” the nurse entered the room quietly.

“I don’t think so,” Alex whispered, shaking her head, making no move to get off the bed.

She nodded and made her way to recheck Y/N’s leg now that she had settled, moving up to check the IV when she was confident the leg was okay before slipping back out of the room.

That was how Kelley, Allie, Emily, and Kristie found them an hour later, the group crashing loudly into the room.

“I will kill every single one of you if you wake her up,” Alex whispered harshly at the loud group.

The four all halted where they were, silently awing at the way the defender clung to Alex in her sleep. Allie pulling her phone out to snap a quick picture.

“How’s she doing?” Kelley asked softly.

“She tried to escape this afternoon,” Alex said absentmindedly, running her fingers through Y/N’s hair  

“What, why?” Emily asked shocked, the other defender had been so agreeable all week.

Alex hesitated, realizing she had opened a line of questioning she wasn’t interested in talking about.

“What happened Janice?” Allie pushed.

“My ex showed up,” Y/N mumbled into Alex’s chest.

“Phelycia?” Kristie noticeably tensed.

The other three shared confused looks while Alex and Kristie made eye contact, Y/N just nodded into Alex’s chest.

“I’ll kill her,” the midfielder said gruffly.

“Who’s Phelycia?” Aliie asked, confused.

Kristie moved closer to the bed, sitting in the chair Alex had pulled up to the bed, placing a hand on Y/N’s thigh. Y/N’s tightened her grip on Alex’s shirt.

“The reason I left Houston.”

“A shitty human being,” Kristie mumbled.

Everyone else nodded along, being able to piece a little bit together with the minimal information. The three other soccer players could see now was not the time to not push at the time though. Emily and Kelley quickly joking and working to pull a smile out of the injured woman in the bed. Alex giving them both grateful looks when she felt Y/N’s relax in her arms again.

“I can’t decide if I am mad or impressed you kept it from us this long,” Allie pointed at the couple.

“Impressed!” Kelley jumped in, “this team is nosey as fuck, anyone who can keep a relationship quiet for more than a week is impressive, let alone two on the team.”

“I will end you if you hurt her,” Kristie said dangerously, looking up at Alex.

“Kris,” Y/N bristled, nudging her with her knee.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Alex squeezed Y/N.

Alex could feel Y/N burrowing herself back into her chest, trying to stifle her yawns again.

“Go back to sleep love, we aren’t going anywhere,” Alex encouraged. Y/N just nodded, already drifting off knowing she was safe.

After that day, Alex had managed to convince one of the staff to remain with Y/N at all times. Y/N didn’t attempt to leave after that and two days later Alex, Emily, Ali, and Ashlyn were making their way through the Orlando airport with an exhausted Y/N after a long day of travel.

Alex had decided without talking to Y/N that she would be moving herself into Y/N’s house while she fully recovered, her mobility still very limited. When they arrived at Y/N’s house, with the help of Emily, Y/N was gently deposited on the couch, where she quickly fell asleep.

“You sure you don’t need to me to stay too?” Emily asked, full of concern. The two young defenders had grown close over years of national team time and more so when she came to Orlando.

“Sonny, I think I can handle Y/N on my own,” Alex chuckled.

“No, no, I know you can,” Emily sighed, “I’m just worried, you know? She had been doing so well lately.”

Emily too had noticed the change in Y/N, but had been unsure how to approach her, then things began to look up. After seeing the adverse reaction Y/N had just to her ex showing up at the hospital, Emily regretted not pushing more sooner.

Alex’s eyes softened at the younger woman.

“You can come visit anytime you want Son,” Alex pulled her into a hug, leading her out of the house.

Leaving the other woman to sleep, Alex began unpack from there weeks gone, starting laundry and preparing everything to help Y/N bathe. After everything was ready to go for the bath and after it, she made her way to Y/N to wake her up.

“Hey gorgeous, wake up and lets get you in the shower,” Alex gently rubbed her chest to rouse her

Y/N groaned, trying to turn her head into the back of the couch.

“You can go back to sleep after the shower babe, we’ll get you some soup and pain killers too.”

Y/N again, but started to struggle to get up, grimacing in pain. The trip home had been long and incredibly painful, but she knew a bath would help her feel much better after the long day of travel.

Alex gently helped Y/N to stand, placing her crutches under her arms, the two began the slow trek to the bathroom.

“I’m not going to be able to sit in the tub Al,” Y/N moaned, disappointed at the realization when they entered the bathroom.

“I know beautiful. We will have a quick shower together, you just need to stand there, and I’ll do all the work,” Alex leaned Y/N against the counter, began undressing herself.

“Sexy,” Y/N deadpanned

Alex ignored her and turned to turn on the water on to warm up, before beginning to help undress her girlfriend. Alex moved everything to be in arms reach, preparing the shower as best she could.

The two worked together to get Y/N in the shower and cleaned, Y/N making little quips throughout. By the end she stood silent while Alex worked, Alex could feel her beginning to shake. She sped up and rushed to get Y/N out before fell. They worked to get her out of the shower, Alex sat her on the toilet, wrapping her in a towel before she started to change the bandage around the soft cast on her leg which would remain on until the staples were removed and the cast world be replaced with a hard plaster.

Alex quickly dressed, dropping to her knees and started to remove the gauze around the injured leg. Wincing when the angry red skin started to show. Alex gently wiped the incision to ensure it was fully dry, inspecting for any sign of infection before reapplying the fresh gauze and temporary cast plaster.

Standing up, Alex saw the amount of pain Y/N was in. Jaw clenched, eyes squeezed shut, fists clenched along the seams of the towel, head tilted towards the roof. Alex knelt again, pulling shorts on, leaving them loose to be pulled up fully when ready. Tugging the towel away, Alex pulled a sports bra and t-shirt over her head, then put both Y/N’s hands on her shoulder while her went to her hips to stand her up. Y/N tucked her face into Alex’s neck while the forward pull her shorts up before passing her her crutches again.

“Let’s get you into bed, I have your pain killers and water ready there.”

Y/N nodded, Alex dropped a towel to pick up any remaining water, kicking it out of the way as they made slow work towards the bedroom. Alex winced at every sound and expression of pain Y/N showed; the normally stoic woman not even hiding her pain at this point.

They both let out a loud sigh of relief when they finally had the defender settled into the bed. Alex immediately opened the pain killers, dropping them into Y/N’s hand who quickly swallowed them, not even waiting for water.

Y/N leaned back, intending to sleep.

��Don’t sleep yet babe, you need to eat with these remember,” Alex lightly ran her thumb along her jaw. “I’ll heat up some soup and then we can both go to sleep.

Y/N just nodded, willing the pain killers to kick in sooner.

Alex returned a few minutes later, seeing Y/N still awake, she handed her the large mug of soup. Alex moved to settle in the bed next to her, eating her own soup.

The two ate in silence, both exhausted from the trip. After finishing, Alex took the dishes back to the kitchen before returning back to the bedroom, turning the lights off along the way before getting under the covers again.

They shuffled as best they good to comfortable, finding some way to hold each other.

“I love you too, just so you know,” Y/N whispered once they settled. “I heard you in the hospital, I’m sorry I didn’t say it back, I couldn’t, I,”

Alex cut her off with a gentle kiss.

“I don’t care, I didn’t expect you to say it back. I just needed you to know I loved you. I love you.”

Alex placed another kiss on her lips.

“I love you too.”

[albertasunrise]

Too Late - 3

Summary: You arrived with Steve Murphy in Colombia to assist in the war against Escobar, both of you are partnered with Javier Peña. The tall, dark and handsome DEA agent has a reputation for being Colombia’s Casanova but you soon learn there’s more to him than meets the eye. You realise too late… that you’re in love with him.

Pairings - Javier Peña x Reader

Warnings - Smut, Angst, Blood and Injury

Part 1, Part 2

~

Beeping. That’s the first thing you sense as your mind starts to come back online. Next was your head. It hurt. Why did it hurt? You were shot in the chest, weren't you? Your mind reeled as you slowly but surely regained the use of all your senses until finally, you cracked open your eyes and a familiar blonde came into view as your vision cleared.

Connie.

She was smiling at you as you tried to focus your mind, remember the events that had brought you here and then you remembered one detail vividly. It pained you as you recall it. Recall the feeling of relief that washed over you as you felt your life force slip away because you’d been at peace with the idea of dying, you were going to see him again. Only you weren’t going to now. No, now you were laying in a hospital bed alive and Javier was still very much dead.

Connie watched the changes in expressions that crossed your face as you battled with the thoughts and feels that raged inside and her brow furrowed in concern ‘How are you feeling?’ She asked sweetly, placing her hand on top of yours and pulling you from your dark thoughts.

‘Why did he save me?’ You questioned as tears started to slip down your cheeks ‘I was going to see Javi again.’ You sobbed ‘Why didn’t he let me die?’

‘What are you talking about hun? Javi’s alive.’ Connie stated in a confused tone ‘You were involved in a raid yesterday. Javier was shot in the abdomen and you had a bullet graze your head. You’ve got a concussion and you had to have a few stitches but you're lucky, it could have been so much worse. You’ve been asleep since yesterday, the pain meds they gave you knocked you for six.’

‘No Javi’s dead.’ You said, shaking your head as the tears continued to fall ‘He died two months ago. I was shot. Steve was holding me, begging me not to go but I could see him Con. I was going to see him again but Steve must have saved me.’

‘Sweetheart no.’ Connie replied, shaking her head ‘I promise you, Javier, isn’t dead but I will be honest with you… He’s in the ICU. He’s critical. The surgery was long and he’s been placed on life support but he’s strong, he’ll pull through.’

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ You asked, your face displaying the betrayal you felt at her deception ‘Why are you lying to me? You helped me heal. Helped me come to terms with losing him and now you’re telling me he's alive?’ You spit ‘What’s your end game, Connie?’

‘I’m not lying to you I promise you.’ She assured you ‘It was all a dream sweetie. Javier hasn't died. The raid was yesterday. It was probably a side effect of the medication they gave you.’

‘Prove it.’ You growled ‘Take me to him.’

Connie nodded, slipping out of the room to ask for a wheelchair before returning and helping you out of your bed and into the chair. She pushed you through the clinical, blue, hallways of the hospital and you looked up when you finally reached your destination to see ICU written in large, bold, letters above the entrance. A nurse kindly held the door open for you both as Connie wheeled you inside. The ward felt darker, more menacing but none of that mattered once she came to a stop outside one room, the door open. Steve was sat beside the bed, sleeping on his arms that wear resting on the edge of the bed. He looked tired, dark black backs under his eyes and you had found yourself wondering how much sleep he'd had since yesterday. Your eyes only lingered on the blonde for a moment longer before they drifted up and sure enough… There he was.

Javier Peña.

A thick tube jutted from between his straight teeth, held in place by a ribbon that wrapped around his head and disappeared in his dark curls. The next thing you noticed was the number machines that surrounded him. He seemed to have tubes jutting out of him left, right and centre, all of them keeping him alive in one way or another.

‘See.’ Connie said softly ‘He’s still with us.’ She finished, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

‘Bug?’ Steve’s voice suddenly pierced through the veil and you turned your head to look at him, his eyes still red from what could be sleep but could easily have been crying also ‘How you feeling?’

‘Head hurts but I’m okay.’ You replied plainly ‘How is he?’ Asked Connie.

‘Doc came by about half an hour ago.’ Started Steve as he rubbed his eyes with the balls of his palms ‘No change but he assures me that’s positive. He’s not getting any worse.’

‘That’s good.’ Connie pipped up as she gave your shoulder a squeeze.

‘What are his chances?’ You questioned, voice wobbling a little as you remembered the pain you’d felt when you’d learned he was dead.

‘Doc said it could go either way.’

‘Cut the crap Steve and just tell me.’ You growled, eyes burning into him.

‘The bullet did a lot of damage.’ He stated plainly, scrubbing a hand over his face ‘It pierced his colon, they managed to repair it but… Well, he’s developed a pretty nasty infection… it took so long for medical support to get to you both. He’s on some pretty strong antibiotics but they aren’t a guarantee. It also lodged in one of his kidneys which they had to remove it. He lost a lot of blood…’

‘Chances Steve.’

‘Around forty per cent.’

The words rang in your ears. He had a forty per cent chance of living, which mean he had a sixty per cent chance of dying. You rolled yourself closer to his bed, studying him closely. You noted the way his skin glittered with sweat, his skin pale and eyes sunken. He looked so unwell and your heart broke at the sight.

‘He’s got a fever of a 104. They can’t seem to get it down but it’s not going up either.’ Continued Steve as he stood from his chair ‘Just have to hope the antibiotics start to work soon.’

You simply nodded, eyes fixed on Javier as your brain processed everything. Less than half an hour ago you’d woken convinced he was dead, that you’d gone two months grieving him but then you get shot, you woke up, and here he is. Was this real? Or was what Connie described as, a dream, real? It had felt real. The pain you felt when Steve had broken the news to you. The despair, the heartache. It had felt real when that man had fucked you, had made you cum. All of it had felt so real and yet here and now felt just as real as all of that had.

‘I’m going to go get some coffee Bug.’ Stated Steve as he walked towards his wife ‘I’ll give you some time alone with him.

You just nodded again, not wanting to tear your eyes away from him in case he disappeared like a puff of smoke on a windy day. You managed to push yourself up and out of the wheelchair and into the seat that Steve had occupied a few minutes before, it was still warm, along with the patch of bed he’d rested his head on as he slept. You held Javier's hand and brought it to your lips, wincing slightly at the heat that radiated from his skin but you cherished the feeling of being able to touch him again. Feel his skin against yours. You prayed to whatever deity that was listening for this to be real, for everything that you’d been through to be a dream and that this right here, was reality. You couldn't bear the idea of waking up to learn that Javi was really gone and you were alone.

‘Please don’t leave me, baby.’ You begged against the back of his hand ‘I love you. Please stay with me.

~

You were woken by alarms and the sound of urgent voices. You cracked open your eyes as someone pulled you away from Javier’s bed and suddenly your heart started to race.

‘What’s going on?’

‘His fever’s spiked.’ The doctor stated ‘We need to get his temperature down.’

‘Javi?’ You sobbed, eyes fixed on him as you were placed back in your wheelchair and removed from his room.

‘What’s going on?’ Questioned Steve as he and Connie sprinted into view ‘Bug what’s happening ?’

‘He uh… they said…’ You couldn’t seem to focus, your eyes locked on Javier as the doctors worked ‘Fever spiked.’

‘Shit.’ Connie breathed and both you and Steve looked at her.

‘What Con?’

‘If his Fever has spiked it's likely his Sepsis has developed into Septic Shock.’ She stated plainly, eyes flitting between the two of you.

‘And that's bad?’ Steve questioned.

Connie nodded grimly, her face falling as she saw the anguish that crossed your face. She hadn’t told Steve what had happened when you’d woken up but she could imagine what was going through your head. You get him back only to face losing him again. She watched you as you watched him, your mouth moving in silent prayer as the doctors and nurses fought to stabilise him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity the room started to empty and a doctor came to a standstill across from you all with a solemn expression on his face.

‘I’m not going to sugar coat this. He’s not doing well.’ He started ‘We were treating him for the sepsis but it appears the antibiotics weren’t responding and it’s progressed to Septic Shock. We are treating it with some aggressive medication but I need you all to prepare yourselves. He’s weak and his body’s struggling to fight this. We’ve done all we can… it’s down to him now.’

You nodded numbly as your eyes trailed back to Javi, his prone form laying there deathly still. You wheeled yourself back inside, pushing yourself to your feet and wobbling slightly before steadied yourself with his bed and placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.

‘I need you to listen to me Javi.’ You start ‘I love you, Javier Peña. I love you and I need you to fight this and come home to me.’ You commanded, voice staying surprisingly even ‘I need you to come back to me, baby. I lost you once. I can’t do it again.’

You weren't sure if he could hear you. You read in books and saw in shows that sometimes people in comas could hear you. You weren't sure how much stock you put in it normally but right now you prayed he could. You hoped that if he knew you loved him, that it would give him something to fight for. Of course, you had no idea if he loved you also, you hoped he did. The way you'd been fucking lately. It wasn't frenzied like it had been in the beginning. He had been taking his time with you, worshipping you, making love to you. That had to mean something. Right?

~

You sat at his bedside every single day and soon a week passed. You talked to him, cleaned him, shaved him, cared for him despite protests from the nursing staff. Steve had managed to convince the nurses to let you stay with him, a small cot had then been set up in the corner for you to sleep on. The day they’d taken him off the vent and he’d taken a shaky breath on his own was the happiest you had experienced since waking up. He had then been fitted with a nasal cannula to assist with his breathing but he no longer had to have a machine breathe for him. His fever gradually started to lower, the medication finally beating the infection in his blood and finally you allowed yourself to hope. The nurses brought you meals every day, you'd been surprised by how good they were compared to some that you'd experienced in the States. There was one nurse that came regularly to check on him, you could see in her eyes that she was taken by him and instead of feeling jealous you talked to her about him. She was British. Had come to Colombia with her husband who was a citizen. You had then learned that he had been a Government official who'd ended up getting shot and killed a few months previous. You told her about your relationship with Javier, how you were worried that you may be too late to tell him how you feel or how he might now feel the same but she'd taken your hand and told you to do it. That you'd always regret it if you didn't tell him the truth.

‘Steve and Con stopped by earlier.’ You said as you forked some hospital pancake into your mouth ‘Steve’s being getting hounded at work for news on you. I guess you’re more popular than you realised.’ You said with a chuckle.

A groan suddenly fell from Javi’s lips and you were on your feet in an instant, holding his hand tightly as you watched his face twitch. Then his hands started to move and your heart started to skip as he squeezed yours. Then finally he cracked open his eyes and those familiar brown orbs peeked through, setting you ablaze.

‘Bug?’

‘Yeah, Javi it’s me.’ You sobbed ‘I’m here.’

‘Wa-water.’ He managed to stutter out, his mouth so dry that his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

‘Here.’ You said softly as you brought an ice chip to his mouth. The nurses had kept bringing them in case he woke up and at first you'd thought it a pointless task but now you were grateful they had.

You gave him another which he accepted graciously and then another before he finally held his hand up to stop you from giving him anymore. He scrunched his eyes shut for a few moments as the fog in his brain cleared more and more but ultimately his gaze fell on you, his chocolate brown eyes studying you carefully.

‘How you feelin’ Peña?’ You asked, grinning at him as he smiled back at you but your expression changed when his brow furrows.

‘i heard you.’ He said out of the blue and you gave him a bemused look ‘I heard you speaking to me.’

‘Yeah?’ You questioned, curious as to what it was he heard.

‘You said you’d lost me.’

‘Oh, that… yeah that’s a long story.’ You said nervously as you scratched the back of your neck, looking anywhere but at him.

‘You said you loved me.’

Your gaze shot up then, locking with his as your eyes started to prickle with new tears and you swallowed thickly, desperately trying to form just one simple word with your tongue.

‘Yes.’ You whispered, eyes wide as you started to panic.

‘I love you too.’ He replied, a single tear escaping from the corner of his eye.

~

Chapter 4

[cocosstories]

Chris Evans One Shot

Please could you write something about being your relationship with Chris from when you were babies/in elementary school and growing and starting your own family xx

Hiii can you do a Chris evans story about finding out you’re pregnant or in the delivery room! Thank you <3

It all started the first day of kindergarten. 

You were in the playground happily swinging by yourself when one of the boys in your class came and pushed you off.

"Are you ok?"

You hear someone ask and look up to see another little boy in your class holding out his hand to you. 

"I'm ok."

You smile shyly and take his hand, brushing off your clothes after he helps you up. 

"I'm Chris."

The boy says.

"I'm Y/N."

You reply.

From that day on, you and Chris became inseparable, hanging out all of the time.

Throughout the rest of elementary school and through Jr. High, gr he two of you remained close, always at eachothers houses. Not a day going by when you wouldn't talk to one another. 

Once you entered high school, people began assuming that you would end up together at some point.

You and Chris did your best to ignore your friends and even parents idle speculation but by junior year, you were having a hard time ignoring the obvious pull between you. 

The summer between junior and senior year, you finally couldn't take it anymore and kissed Chris for the first time. 

He was startled at first but felt everything you felt and more and gave in almost immediately.

From that day on, you were a couple and everyone you knew was sure that one day you would get married. 

Neither one of you wanted to rush things though, you were still kids and event though you were sure that they were right, you wanted to enjoy being a kid while you could.

You both graduated high school and Chris began his acting career while you went to school, your relationship as strong as ever.

After a few years, you moved in together and another year or so after that you got married.

"Babe?"

You hear Chris call out as you sit on the bathroom floor holding a pregnancy test in your hand. 

"Ba-bathroom"

You call back, your voice cracking as you shakingly wait for the results.

"What's going on? Wait. Is that what I think it is?"

Chris asks as he walks into the bathroom and sees the plastic stick in your hand as you nod.

Even though you hadn't officially said that you were trying for a baby, you and Chris desperately wanted to start a family.

"How much longer?"

He asks as he sits down next to you on the floor.

"Twenty seconds."

The timer finally goes off and both sets of eyes fall to the test in your hand.

"Oh my God! We're going to have a baby!"

You cry, seeing the positive result.

Chris pulls you up off the floor and into his arms, so happy and excited to finally be starting your family.

Nearly thirty five weeks later and you are two days away from your due date and absolutely miserable.

"Babe, what can I do?"

Chris asks as you groan trying to get comfortable on the couch.

"Tell your kid its time to vacate my uterus."

You say with a small laugh. 

"She will come soon. I know you are uncomfortable and ready to have her but she will be worth the wait."

He says sitting next to you, placing a big hand on your even bigger belly.

You sigh, knowing he is right and lay your head on his shoulder, always finding being cuddled up to your husband the most comfortable spot you could find.

An hour later, you are asleep in the same spot while Chris catches up on some sports center. 

"Oh God."

You wake up with a gasp and Chris looks at you curiously.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

He asks. 

"I think my water just broke."

You reply with wide eyes, not really sure what to do next.

"Ok, its alright lets get in the car and head to the hospital."

He says, trying to stay calm as he helps you up off the couch.

"Ooowww!"

You cry out grabbing onto your belly as the contractions begin and Chris holds onto you.

The hospital was only a few minutes away and once you were admitted and in placed in a room, you requested an epidural, knowing you would want it sooner or later. 

Within an hour the meds had been given and you were happily resting while your body went through the labor you couldn't feel.

You smile as you look over and see Chris asleep on the small hospital couch in your room. 

He had tried to stay awake but you knew how exhausted he was and were happy you both could get some rest before it was baby time.

A few hours later the epidural had worn off and you were nearly ready to start pushing.

Chris was right next to your bed, whispering encouragement in your ear as you worked through the painful contractions.

"Alright, Y/N, are you ready to start pushing?"

The doctor asks as she set everything up for delivery.

"God yes."

You say with an exasperated sigh.

Chris takes a damp towel and wipes your forehead, moving some sweat soaked hair from your face. 

"Ok lets have a baby."

You nod and begin pushing as instructed, doing your best to use the still painful contractions to bring your baby down.

"Aaaaahhhh"

You cry out as you finish another push.

"You're doing great, Y/N. It won't be long."

The doctor says.

"She's almost here babe. Our little girl. She's going to look just like you..."

"With your eyes.."

"Ok with my eyes. She will be beautiful and happy and so loved."

"And she will be a daddy's girl..."

"Well of course she will be a daddy's girl. I'm the only man she is allowed to have in her life until she is thirty."

Chris laughs as he continues to talk while you push again and again.

"Where would you be if my dad had said that? We met in kindergarten."

You remind him as you take a small break.

"Touche. But still...no boys."

You roll your eyes.

"Alright Y/N, the head is out."

The doctor announces and Chris takes a look.

"Holy shit. Sorry wow, she's really coming."

He says, watching with wide, teary eyes as your daughter comes into the world and the doctor places the crying infant on your chest. 

"Hi baby, shhh its ok. Its ok."

You cry along with your daughter as the nurse puts a blanket on top of her to cover her up.

"Chris?"

After calming the baby down, you look over to your husband who has tears streaming down his face as he looks at you and the baby. 

"I'm a dad."

He says almost as if he was trying to convince himself that it wasn't a dream.

"Babe, come here. Come meet our daughter."

You reach out for him and moves closer. 

Sobs come from him as he takes in every little feature of her face before burying his face in your shoulder.

"I've been so scared. Scared that I couldn't be the dad she deserves or the husband that you deserve but now that she's here, I just love her so much already. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love you but I do."

He finally says looking up at you. 

"I know. I was scared too but look, she's here and we are a family. We've got this."

You say smiling at him then looking back down at your little girl who was now fast asleep.

A few hours later once everything had calmed down, you, Chris and your baby girl were curled up in bed together, enjoying your first night as a family.

"Thank you."

You say quietly.

"For what?"

Chris asks, looking up at you. 

"For her. For loving me. For helping me up off the ground when that bully pushed me off the swing when we were five. Thank you for spending your life with me. Thank you for all of it."

"I knew you would change my life that day. I didn't know how but the second I saw you hit the ground, even at five, I knew you belonged in my life."

He replied, carefully leaning over to kiss your head as you both fall asleep reminiscing of your life together over the years.

[sapphic-yearning-lesbian]

This is chapter two (Chapter one)

Nurse Namaari struggles with the idea of visiting her past patient Raya, but caves.

Warnings: Brief mentions of addiction, and survivor’s guilt. 

Word Count: 2533

--

Three days later

Namaari was sitting in her office writing reports when she heard a knock on the door. "Come in," She said as the door slowly opened.

"Hello, It's Sisu; I'm a Psych nurse, we've seen each other multiple times around the ER, but you officially meet me while I was comforting Raya, a past patient of yours. Could I possibly speak with you?" Sisu confidently states while poking her head through the crack of the door.

Namaari raised an eyebrow, shocked to see Sisu at her door. Nevertheless, she nodded. How could she forget that day? Raya's pale body...Sisu's screams...

Snap out of it!

Because of Hippa, Namaari was not allowed to check on Raya. Once a patient leaves the ER, they are no longer her patients, and she has no say in their care, and nine times out of ten, she'll never know if they survived. "Of course. Come take a seat," She finally answers as she motions with her hands that Sisu sits across from her.

Sisu nervously walks over to the chair, sitting down. She looks at a Namaari whose eyes are locked on her purple ones. She chuckles. "This isn't me talking to a coworker, okay. This is me talking to my friend about another friend." Sisu states as she watches Namaari's eyebrows raise before she nods yes, "Raya is in the cardiovascular/pulmonary unit. She survived the emergency surgery! She's still recovering, but she has made it clear she wants the gorgeous nurse that saved her life to visit her."

Namaari was extremely relieved but also confused. "Wait, what? She isn't your girlfriend?" Namaari asked as Sisu's face turned bright red, and she burst out in laughter.

"Hahaha, no! We dated for like a week during nursing school, but we never clicked romantically; We've been best friends ever since tho." Sisu managed to say between her laughter. Once she was able to control herself, she continued talking, "Anyways, she is in the J6 unit in the room: J601," Sisu says with a smirk before standing up from the chair; walking to the door, before stopping to say, "If you visit her, don't do it as a nurse. She's not looking for another member of her health care team. She wants to get to know the YOU who isn't a nurse." With that said, Sisu walks out, closing the door behind her.

Namaari sits at her desk, even more confused. She leans into her chair, thinking for a moment. She really found this girl alluring in every sense, but how was she supposed to chase after a girl she talked to for two minutes before she practically died in her arms. Not practically! She did die!

Maybe that's the reason.

What a great love story would it be...

When Namaari finished her shift three days ago, she broke down: She hadn't cried like that in years! She does remember crying somewhat similarly when she lost her first patient five years ago, but it was a different kind of sadness.

The truth is death was something Namaari had grown accustomed to. Of course, she felt emotional distress when a patient died, but when Raya flatlined; It shattered her.

She often found herself running through the event over and over in her head, trying to pinpoint how she didn't realize the gasps for air between Raya's flirting, where she struggled to breathe.

She should have seen the signs.

She should have realized Raya's heart was straining itself to keep her alive; that's why her blood pressure and pulse skyrocketed before they plummeted.

No matter how many times she runs the scenario in her head, she always blames herself.

When in reality, Namaari is excellent at her job. She has ample experience and education.

Yes, Raya's smile ultimately left her defenseless, but Namaari stood her ground.

Yes, Namaari's heart was fluttering for her patient, but she still put those feelings aside to save her life. Maybe she should stop scolding herself and accept that life is unpredictable.

And one thing holds true: Namaari felt immense attraction for Raya, but she still acted professionally.

Namaari blinked a few times, trying to pull herself out of her thoughts before bringing her hands up to her face, gently rubbing circles into her temples. "What has she done to you?". She asked herself as she laughed and looked at the time; 4 PM, her shift will be over in three hours. After her shift finishes, she'll shower quickly in the staff showers and change into clean scrubs. She scoffs when she realizes she'll have to wear blueberry-colored scrubs; that's the only colored scrubs the hospital provides.

The hospital has their staff color-coded, adult nurses wear grey scrubs, child nurses wear pink, x-ray technicians wear black, pharmacists and phlebotomists wear light blue, nursing assistants wear burgundy, and surgical residents wear blueberry-colored scrubs. Actually, most residents wear blueberry scrubs, but most commonly, you'll see surgical residents marching around the hospital in their blueberry scrubs.

--

"OWW OWW OWWW," Raya screams as a surgical resident removes the chest tube that was once allowing the excess air pooled in her chest cavity to escape her body, caused by her collapsed lung. It was no longer needed as the punched lung was fixed during her emergency surgery; they should have taken it out before but hadn't, fearing her lung could collapse again.

Raya felt utterly stupid. She was an extraordinary nurse, and she knew the signs of a collapsed lung, pneumothorax, but she ignored them.

If she thinks back to that day in the ER, she can vividly remember her chest burning in pain; shortness of breath, lightheadedness, an elevated pulse, and finally, the icing on the cake, her left shoulder hurt: All tale signs that her broken rib punctured her lung. Yet, she chose to ignore the warnings.

At least now, she can fully understand the power of adrenaline on someone's mind and body. It can genuinely make you believe that severe pain is minimal and that you'll be okay.

"Sorry, Ms.Hart. Do you want me to press on your magic pain button" The resident stated, causing Raya to stare back at them with frowning eyebrows before nodding no.

Raya was given a medicine button she can press for narcotics every so often, but she was trying not to press the button unless she really needed to. She knows firsthand how quickly people can get addicted to those meds.

The resident chuckled. "Sorry, I forgot you're a nurse, and I don't need to call it a magic button." Raya faked a smile before chuckling. She wasn't trying to be mean at all, but she hated being on the other side. Raya loved being the nurse, and suddenly she's the patient.

The resident smiled once more before excusing themselves out.

"You can stop fake smiling now," Sisu said.

She was curled up on a couch against the window. She had her eyes closed as she was sleeping. "Ughhh, I'm going to be late to my shift," She said, opening her eyes, noticing the clock on the wall before standing up from the couch, where she stretched before smiling. "Nightshift is the bestttt" She joked as she folded the sheets she was using to sleep.

"You must be exhausted! You haven't left the hospital in three days because of your back and forth from your shifts to watching me!! Go home, sleep in your own bed, and shower with shampoo that actually cleans your hair because your hair looks a mess right now." Raya sighed as she sat up in the bed, looking at Sisu with pleading eyes.

"You're my best friend, Raya!" Sisu stated as she finished folding the sheets and turned to look at Raya with tears beginning to pool in her eyes. "You dead...I watched you die." She exhaled as solo tears escaped her eyes; she quickly wiped them away with her thumbs.

Raya was looking at Sisu with sorrow and regret. She knew getting into a fight with Tong was stupid, and they didn't mean to injure each other terribly, but somehow they did. However, she knew she couldn't keep this conversation going as Sisu had 10 minutes to get to the psych department for her shift. So instead, she smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Note to self! Never die again." This statement caused Sisu to chuckle as she picked up her overnight bag; that holds her clean scrubs.

Sisu quickly walks over to Raya, side hugging her gently to not hurt her before pressing a quick kiss on her cheek. "I got to go. If anything happens, please call my office, okay! I MEAN IT." She stated firmly before running out the door.

Raya sighed before she burst out in tears. She had been playing strong for Sisu, but she was in shock. She was sure her best friend knew, but Raya really wasn't ready to talk about it. Raya knew deep down that she was having survives guilt, an overpowering and almost dominating emotion.

Her tears soon became sobs, and she felt her body begin to shake. She knew it was a panic attack, so she began to take deep breaths to calm herself.

Eventually, the trembling stopped while her tears persisted; her body was weakened by the energy needed to cry. She was also physically distressed now as each sob caused a painful sting to travel up her spine.

So she finally pressed her medicine button.

As time went by, her tears lessened, and her pain was managed. Soon enough, she found herself drifting off to sleep.

--

"You're the girlfriend?" Some unknown voice asked.

"Yeah, sure." She heard Namaari's voice hesitantly answer. "I've been in here for an hour, and she just doesn't wake up. Is everything okay?"

The other voice hummed as the conversation amused her. "I'm looking at her patient chart, and it only says to release personal information to Sisudatu." The unknown voice said,  probably her night nurse. "HIPPA Man. I wanna help you, but--"

"Yea, I know. It was worth a try, though." Namaari answered, sighing.

"She's just tired. Look closely at her face; maybe you can figure out why she is so exhausted--ANYWAY, press on the call light if you need anything, or poke your head outside the door. Great to meet you...girlfriend Namaari." The nurse chuckled; it was clear she didn't believe that.

Raya so badly wanted to open her eyelids, but they felt so heavy. She tried to speak, but she was too tired to make words. So as she heard Namaari sit on the chair next to her bed, gently grabbing her call button (that's also a tv remote), turning it on. With the very little energy she had, she smiled as she drifted to sleep once again.

--

Nammari woke up curled up in a chair. She looked to her left, seeing a snoring Raya in her patient bed. She smiled, noticing the puffy eyes were gone.

When she came in yesterday around eight pm, she found Raya passed out with red puffy eyes. Tears had stained her cheeks, and her eyebrows frowned. Namaari knew she probably cried herself to sleep before she got there; she even tried to confirm it with her night nurse but to no avail. She yawned as she brought her left hand up to her eye level to look at her watch. 7:30 AM.

She lightly rubbed her tired eyes as someone burst into the room. She removed her hands from her eyes, spotting a very tired Sisu pulling the curtain open. Once Sisu noticed her, a wide smile spread on her face; she turned and noticed Raya was sleeping, so she whispered, "Hey, Namaari. Great to see you! Did you just get here?" She said excitedly as she yawned, placing her bag on the floor; Quickly shuffling to the couch that folds out to a bed.

"I came yesterday, but she was sleeping. It looked like she shouldn't be left alone, so I kinda fell asleep here," Namaari replied as she watched Sisu unfold some sheets, probably getting ready to sleep, she presumed. "I don't work today. I can stay with her..." She began to say as Sisu's eyes shot up from the couch to meet her's with a massive grin on her face.

"Are you completely sure?" Sisu asked, raising an eyebrow. Namaari noticed the eyebags and the apparent exhaustion. She nodded yes before opening her mouth to speak but was cut off by another voice. Raya's voice.

The voice Namaari's been repeatedly hearing in her mind. Precisely when Raya called her a 'godly woman.' Thinking back to that moment made her blush.

"She's... *yawn* ...giving you... *yawn* ..an out.. *yawn* ...take it," Raya stuttered as her eyelids fluttered open. She noticed Namaari first on her right and smiled but brought her gaze back to her best friend. "Go home. It's been four days now. I'm okay."

Sisu tilted her head to the side, looking at Raya with knowing eyes. She turned to look at Namaari. "Raya had a panic attack after I left. That's why she was so exhausted; I'm assuming it's survivor's guilt, but I'm her best friend, so I'm not allowed to evaluate her." Sisu said while crossing her arms across her chest, raising her eyebrows before turning her gaze to Raya. "I'm scared to leave again," She admitted as her tone became soft.

"I'm very much capable of taking care of her," Namaari stated. She knew this current situation was unusual. Truthfully a part of her wanted to leave, believing she didn't deserve even a slimmer of a chance of happiness. However, something kept her there—the desire to TRY and get to know Raya.

Namaari was very self-aware that if she let the opportunity of getting to know Raya personally slip, she would always wonder, what if . Because the truth is, if it doesn't work out, then she can at least say she tried.

Sisu uncrossed her arms and looked over at Namaari. "As a friend?" Sisu questioned Namaari, "Or as a nurse?"

Namaari chuckled. "I'm not part of her medical staff," She stated as she raised her hands in defeat. "I'm here as a friend."

"I thought you said we were girlfriends tho? Or was I dreaming?" Raya randomly blurted, both the other girls looking at her. Sisu's face showing confusion, and Namaari's embarrassment.

"OKAYYY, that's my queue to leave! Tong should be here around 2 PM so you can go home, Namaari." Sisu said, winking at Raya before grabbing her bag and walking out of the room.

Namaari's heart was beating faster, realizing she was alone with Raya. Her cheeks burning as if they were on fire. She turned to look at her and found she was already staring and smiling at her. "Was it a dream?" Raya asked again as she slowly sat up, clutching her chest.

"No, it wasn't a dream," Namaari whispered as she brought her hands down, looking at them.

Namaari was unsure how the next few hours would unveil. All she was certain of was:

She is sitting in a past patient's room.

She agreed to stay for hours.

She's highly attracted to this patient.

She thinks she's lost her dam mind.

--

I’m already working on the next chapter. It should be up in the next coming days. But realistically once I finish it; I’ll post it.

[mallowstep]

(dark room, red light)

"Do you think we count as first generation college students?" Mothpaw asks, staring at the application.

"Feathertail's working on her degree," Hawkpaw says. "And Stormheart has one."

"Yeah, but — does that count?"

"Looking it up," Frogpaw calls. He's staring intently at his phone. "According to this, our biological parents are what matters."

None of them say anything.

* * *

They moved rooms as a tenth birthday present. Stormheart slept in Stonefur's room until the basement was done being finished for him and Shadepelt, and Frogpaw took his old room.

Mothpaw moved into what was nominally Feathertail's room. There were still fragments of her mother, in the curtain and sheet choices, but there was a layer of dust on everything, and nothing else to remove.

* * *

"You can still change your mind," Stonefur says. "I don't mind driving back."

Mothpaw twists the ring around her thumb. It was a gift from him a few years ago. "No," she decides. "I'm ready to do this."

Stonefur nods. Frogpaw came a few years ago, and Hawkpaw is preparing to make what he says will be a final trip. Stonefur squeezes her shoulder. "Let's head in, then."

She's not sure what she expects. They stare at each other for a long moment, and Mothpaw is acutely aware of the conversations happening beside them.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Tigerstar says.

Mothpaw hesitates. It's not nice to meet him, she doesn't think. She's not sure why she's here, except that in a few months, she'll be in a new place, and Stonefur's standing offer to drive her several hours will be gone.

"I hear you got into college. Majoring in — biology, was it?"

He knows that's wrong. "Pre-med." Mothpaw takes a deep breath. "It's an accelerated program."

Tigerstar smiles, like he is proud of her. "And — outside of school? What do you do?"

His eyes are the same colour as hers, she realizes. They're the same honey amber she sees in the mirror every morning.

"Not much. I've volunteered at a hospital for a while. And I've been taking classes at the community college."

She looks at her hands again. Tigerstar clears his throat. "Can I ask you a question, Mothpaw?"

She nods.

"Why now?"

It's harder to answer than she expected. He waits, looking at the space between him, as if he's trying to give her time. She fights for an answer that's not, Because I wanted to know I had taken the chance. Chance of what, she's not sure.

"I'm going pretty far for college," she settles on. "Running out of chances."

Tigerstar nods, like this all makes sense. "I'd love to continue our correspondence," he says, like she writes him back. "Send me your address, won't you?"

Mothpaw doesn't answer.

* * *

Freshman year, they all had to take a class in critical thinking and current events.

Each section would present, and then debate an issue in front of the whole grade at the end of the year. Mothpaw's group worked on some mundane policy change. She didn't really care if the city enforces stricter water usage rules on companies. Maybe she should.

Hawkpaw and Frogpaw were in the same class. Their teacher was young, contentious. They prepared for a debate about gun rights. Mothpaw thought that would be the hot button issue of the year.

"When should inmates on a life sentence be offered parole?" a student read.

Mothpaw shifted in her chair. Never, she thought.

The presentation was just an overview of the issue. The debate started with, "Should Tigerstar's request for parole be granted?"

Their teacher smiled from her position as the moderator.

"He's served fifteen years," the yes side began. "With excellent behaviour. Why not let him out?"

Leafpaw squeezed Mothpaw's hand.

"He would be released into the same community he hurt," the no side argued.

"He was a respected politician for years."

"He was proven guilty in a court of law."

"Why shouldn't he get a second chance?"

"From Mistyfoot's testimony, 'The night he was reelected.' And then, after a follow-up question, 'He told me that the election was why he was celebrating. And celebration meant we were all under scrutiny. He'd beat you for the slightest misstep.'"

"From Feathertail's testimony-"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" Hawkpaw shouted. He stood, livid, his fist clenched.

"Hawkpaw," a teacher said.

"You don't get to drag her name in defence of him," he seethed. "This isn't some petty corporate dispute."

Someone took Hawkpaw outside. The teacher of the class indicated for them to continue.

"From Feathertail's testimony," the student from before continued, looking far more hesitant, "in response to the question, 'When did the night of the party happen?', she said 'over the summer,' which couldn't have been his reelection."

"There's still no reason to release him into this community."

The auditorium doors opened again. The same teacher who pulled Hawkpaw out flicked the lights. "Can I have Mothpaw and Frogpaw?"

Leafpaw gave her hand another squeeze, and Mothpaw grabbed her backpack.

"We're sorry about this," the teacher said. "We didn't realize a teacher would choose something like this. Hawkpaw is waiting in the office -- we still have to call your parents-"

"Mother," Frogpaw said. "You have to call our mother."

"We have to call your mother, then, about the incident, but I'm sorry no one warned you."

"It's not right," Mothpaw said. "Hawkpaw was -- you can't get him in trouble for this! This isn't -- they're debating people's lives," she said.

"Our lives," Frogpaw said. "They're going to stand up there and debate whether we should have to-" His voice cut out.

"It's protocol," the teacher said. "The two of you can wait in the office for the rest of this section's debate."

* * *

Leafpaw slips notes into Mothpaw's locker. It's the only reason she bothers opening it.

lunch at 1 tmrw? is received on a Friday afternoon. Mothpaw answers it with a kiss on Leafpaw's cheek.

* * *

Leafpaw started spending her afternoons at Mothpaw's house in seventh or eighth grade.

"Squirrelpaw's at field hockey practice, and the house is just so lonely," she complained, until Mothpaw finally just asked Feathertail if Leafpaw could come over.

"Of course she can," Feathertail said. "Is she staying for dinner?"

But having Leafpaw in her house for the first time felt strange. They were school friends, or they spent weekend days at Leafpaw's house, or they met for a movie.

Stormheart joked about how they really did need the minivan, and Leafpaw flipped through her list of assignments. When they got to the house, Mothpaw dragged Leafpaw through a tour by the hand.

"Sorry about the whole row of photos," Mothpaw said. "Stonefur's a little obsessed."

Leafpaw giggled. It still felt weird, to have Leafpaw sitting between Mothpaw and Stormheart, to see her converse next to Mothpaw's flats and Frogpaw's sneakers, but it felt right at the same time.

* * *

"It's a strange thing," Mothpaw says, delivering a valedictorian speech, "to leave behind all you have ever known. We are all moving onto our own paths, now. Some of those paths might look similar to where we are now, but some of them won't."

She smiles at her family watching her.

"But we've all been on the same path for a while. And I think most of you-"

She faces her class for a moment, mostly to train her eyes on Leafpaw.

"I have to face forward, or the mic won't pick me up," she says, raising more laughter than she expected. "But I think most of you are thinking of all the worst moments here, and how excited you are to leave it behind. Maybe not. I think I'm allowed to say that I am."

A few more laughs this time.

"Freshman year, end of the year debates. I'm pretty sure that's on a lot of lists. When the lights in the bathroom on the third floor kept turning off too soon sophomore year. Our bus running out of gas coming home from a field trip. But we've all gone through that together."

Mothpaw takes a breath. "We've been through all of that together, and that time is ending. In a few months, I'll be apart from my brothers for the first time, and I'm not sure if I'm thrilled or terrified. And I'm supposed to have a moral, a theme, a key point, but I don't, not really. I hope we all do well. I hope we are all happy."