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destiny-smasher · 2 years

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Pokemon Scarlet/Violet is a Damn Mess

Strap in lasses, lads, nonbinary finery, and everyone around and inbetween. This one's a doozy. I won't be describing any post-game/end-game details specifically, but I *will* be mentioning in vague terms some of the late game stuff, in case you're sensitive to spoilers.

This rant starts with things I liked (which it does have!), then goes full tilt into spicy rage. So avoid it if you're for whatever reason sensitive about an unfinished game being talked about like it's an unfinished game. Do not try starting some argument with me, these are my personal opinions and not a scored/professional review. Enjoy your game if you're enjoying it and ignore this grumpy 90's era gamer.

TLDR bullet points at the tail end for those that benefits.

So I've put in 16 hours into Pokemon Scarlet. Did like, 2/3 of the main story badge quests, I would say, caught a bunch of mons. Aaaaand I'm done with this game. I am not of the opinion that without the tech performance issues, it would magically be this super amazing Pokemon game. Personally, I'm just not impressed with it. And we'll get into why I just don't think it's a well designed or well made product or RPG.

But first, the things I liked, or even loved. Because there are definitely some things I did like and love about it, especially after checking out the story (I recently watched all of the main story scenes from where I'd gotten to the end credits).

Opponents have never had this amount of personality put into them. When stacked against other peers in the gaming landscape, it's still kind of laughable how limited these characters are in a lot of ways, but SV goes to further lengths than any previous game in giving opponent trainers and story characters specific designs, bits of life in their animation, and even some mid-battle dialogue, on top of some of them even having…more than single note to their personality! Crazy, I know. It does still feel a bit flat without voice acting (we'll touch on that later) but it is SOMETHING. Character models look much improved from Arceus, and they do much better and more interesting things with what story there is, for the most part -- the one area I will concede I think this game clearly beats Arceus in, objectively.

The music is inconsistent imo BUT the songs that are bops are great, and naturally they're reserved for fights. I blame Toby Fox for this and Sw/Sh having some truly fun tunes, but I'm sure the other people working on music are doing work. Pokemon has never had TERRIBLE music, it's always been at least good if not awesome, and at least the Switch games are pushing things somewhat forward. My favorite tracks in the game are probably the Gym Fight (the opening part with the brass, before the vocals kick in), the Star boss fights, Nemona's Battle Theme, which I love that we get a few variants of (reminds me of Marnie's theme, my fav from SwSh). And speaking of Nemona…

Nemona is probably the best character in the entire Pokemon franchise at this point, at least to me. I mostly write YA fiction, sometimes from a perspective of trying to sift through the silt of my youth and identify who I 'truly was' as a youth given how like half of my personality was stifled and suppressed. And Nemona's the first time a Pokemon character has felt like someone I would write myself, felt like someone who reminds me of why I like the things I like. She captures the essence of the gameplay of Pokemon into a passionate youth who walks a fine line between teaching the player the ropes while alluding to her being much better at fighting than she's letting on, all because she just loves doing it, loves growing and learning and being impressed by others doing the same. Pokemon games struggle with their rivals usually, and even their gym leaders, because they honestly aren't that great at Pokemon battling, usually? But with Nemona, they've found a clever solution to that issue: they can allude to her experience, but her context with your character is that she's 'senpai,' she's the older student teaching you, so naturally she's going to go easy on you. It's a shockingly elegant solution to a problem the franchise has basically always had.

Beyond this, she just has a cute, cool character design that's pretty recognizable despite wearing the generic school uniform (she at least squeezes some bits of uniqueness with her green highlights and arm guard). She's a bit of a one-track mind but within the world of Pokemon that honestly fits right in. I have some personal bias here that I tweeted about already, but I just really like her, and I love seeing a character so overtly passionate about battling and looking to your player character to grow to be a fitting rival to her. She specifically says this, but it's clear enough before that point -- and it's also funny how ironically BAD people in this world are at Pokemon battling, so honestly, can you blame her for being desperate for some real competish? She does still lay flatly on the side of being fully supportive of your character and not truly feeling like an actual rival, something the series seems honestly afraid of at this point for some reason. But at least there's context. She's adorable and I like her a lot, she reminds me of my younger self. And as someone whose favorite genre is fighting games? Her motivations totally speak to me. Even her intro animation to a battle feels like something out of a fighting game.

Nemona represents pursuing your passion and letting yourself LOVE the things you love, letting yourself get EXCITED about having new people in your life to share those things with, and I just love her so much for it. I didn't expect going into this game that I'd end up having such a strong emotional reaction to any of its characters but Nemona made me cry tears of happiness (literally right now, thinking about and writing this up after watching the ending of the Victory Road path) because I GET IT, girl. And she's going to help kids out there feel OK with pursuing their passions, pursuing bonds with others, pursuing mutual growth and self improvement, and that makes me extremely happy.

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Arven's story takes that well-tested shortcut of 'make audience feel sad for a dog,' but it's a plotline we've not really seen in the games, and it's great to have here even if it's a bit on the nose. It also gives his rough exterior at first some depth when you realize what he's trying to accomplish, and why, once you learn about his backstory. It's a sweet side story and I also liked how it tied into your movement abilities out in the field. And Penny's side plot…well, it's a little convoluted and undercooked but it is something different, as well, brushing against a pretty meaningful topic without ever diving deep enough to do much with it. And Penny herself is fun, with a great character design, with the Team Star members being certainly recognizable and just wacky in their very high-school-esque, over-the-top premises and personas.

The Star gang is amusing enough, Penny's role was not at all a surprise but that's fine because it just made sense and added up nicely. Penny as a character is great, too, it's actually refreshing having someone prominent in a Pokemon game who...just doesn't seem to love Pokemon the same way everyone else does? Who's jaded and cynical. I like that. Honestly, she looks a lot like my wife and shares a lot in common? (her name is even Jenny so, funny coincidence)

I also loved Car- I MEAN CLINT. What a fantastic character design/concept (yet again), just awesome and fun. Pokemon needs more of that -- just embracing the goofiness. And also just older characters who persist in the narrative without staying back in your home town or whatever. Moreso than any other Pokemon game before it, SV actually has what I'd say is the best cast of human characters. Now, without getting full on into the negatives just yet, bear in mind…this is still Pokemon as you know it. Very limited interactions, very basic scenes, bare minimum animations, no voice acting, barely any character development. It's still clearly going for the designs first and foremost, and they are varied and appealing, for sure. The 'Normal' type gym leader with his Nick Cage ass businessman schtick had me chuckling in a way no Pokemon game has made me react to an opponent trainer. Just seeing Gym Leaders being presented as PEOPLE who have…LIVES…and JOBS, with the Pokemon battling being like a side thing, or like a new job, that's such a huge change and it's refreshing.

There's only a handful of truly animated cutscenes in the game, which have that weird hollow feeling to them with literally no voice acting, but it's more than Pokemon games have really done before. The human characters actually look pretty good even up close, too, and do many of the Pokemon -- and touching on that, I think a lot of the new mon designs are great. GameFreak seems to have figured out hair physics, and HOO BOI do they make sure you know it with the many overdone, strange, wacky hairstyles in this game. And they also seem to have actually figured out mocap, from the looks of it -- during the brief actual cutscenes, the characters actually animated naturally and look pretty good (even if there's still a lotta rough edges in the presentation otherwise).

As for the story itself, it's again, pretty barebones, super basic, but still a noticeable step up than previous games. Like some degree of effort beyond the norm has gone into story this time, which I can appreciate, even if none of it reaches what is standard for other high profile JRPGs these days. Having multiple threads you progress at your own pace, and then tying them together is nice - and they do weave the main characters of all three together in a way that's simple but effective and organic. I have to wonder what they might have been able to do had they focused their energy into telling ONE story instead of three. Like having them more tightly threaded together to form one plotline, I mean. But what's here is at least more interesting than previous games I've played (I skipped the DS era but I hear people liked that era's worldbuilding). Even when I felt done with the game, I still looked up the story scenes I missed as I was just enough invested and curious to see what they did with them. Pokemon is, for better and for worse, squarely targeted at kids in its design and presentation, and I think what's here is certainly more substantial than what the series has done before, both in visual representation and the basic but relevant to kids plots it has going on.

I will say that after looking up the final hour of the game, I do get what all of the hub-bub around it is. My wife and I were literally talking about how a Pokemon game could be so awesome if it functioned more like a traditional RPG with actual party members, inter-party dialogue, that whole shebang, and while it's…extremely ROUGH in its execution due to the technical problems and lack of presentation, you can totally see a glimmer of this in Area Zero, and even what little is here is honestly pretty cool, interesting, and has a complete mini-story-arc going on. I want to play a full Pokemon game that has something more like this all the time, with multiple humans, each with their own teams to manage, even -- it'd make for a great spinoff imo, but what's here is…at least different, trying new things that actually have good ideas. GameFreak certainly seems to have lots of good ideas they are struggling to implement, yet they clearly are in over their heads on how to do it.

And on that note, that's it for the positives. You may have noticed I have barely talked about the gameplay, and predominantly have been talking about the characters, what bits of world-building there are, and story. That's because as a video game, I just found it really boring. Time to get nitty gritty on why I personally didn't even find a very engaging video game buried beneath all of the tech issues.

I will not dedicate much time to this game's inexcuseably poor optimization and tech issues. For a first party Nintendo game, this is a new low. I have never seen a Nintendo published game look and run this awfully, and I'm sure many have been startled, shocked, and disappointed by this. By now, if you're reading this, I'm sure you're well aware of these issues. I personally don't expect most of the problems to improve even with patches, in part because a lot of this stuff just isn't 'fixable' in a post-release sense, generally speaking, AND the companies involved have like zero incentive to meaningfully address or even explicitly acknowledge them. But it's a big deal, and I'm glad it's been talked about. Let's move on to the gameplay.

This is an "open world" game, yes. In a technical sense. In a barely functioning sense. But it is a far cry from understanding what makes for a compelling open world game, or even a modern, by-the-numbers one. It at least is attempting something, but bleh. It's so hollow. There's basically two types of open world games at this point. ones like Breath of the Wild or Outer Wilds that basically leave everything up to the player to decide where to go, what to do, and give them a vast array of unique locations, landmarks, and the like to pique their curiosity, with baked in interwoven systems that can be learned and mastered over time. Then, there are by-the-books open world games, with vast maps populated with a bajillion icons, a giant checklist of tasks to do with a trickle feed of rewards and a linear story to complete, where player experience/strength is measured more with numbers than knowledge. Pokemon Scar/Vi is neither of these types of games, really, but is trying/pretending to be both, and fails at capturing what either does well.

All it really has going for it, in my opinion, is the same old song and dance we've been doing for decades: the core Pokemon formula of discovering, catching, and raising teams of creatures to fight. It sure does do that, and in a more traditional way that Arceus, with the more traditional trappings and mechanics all accounted for, plus the obligatory time-consuming gimmicks. Even just some level balancing could've gone a LONG way to making the experience really feel more open-ended, and giving opponent trainers, especially gym leaders, some more bite, especially if they scaled their teams to how many badges you had (like the actual Pokemon lore) would have been awesome. But it wouldn't save a lifeless, boring husk of a world map from being oddly unpleasant to navigate back to the world, though, while it IS very good that they have opened up that world for us to explore more at our own pace, it's got major problems imo. Let's start with the map…'design?'

The world doesn't really have much design TO it, really. It's a series of pathways with hella empty space in-between, with lots of artificial divides that discourage exploration, locked behind the movement unlocks you complete in Arven's story (or maybe jumping backwards up a fucking hill because lol game's unfinished). It doesn't feel like one giant level laid out in themed zones, with environmental 'puzzles' to work through. It's just…a big mess of shapes. A giant circle of places to go to accomplish tasks -- and while you CAN technically do them in any order, you are basically punished for trying to do them outside of an intended order, due to the strict, linear levelling nature of Pokemon. Shit isn't designed or balanced around numbers-based combat in an open-ended scenario. Nothing seems to scale, at all, in any way. In Elden Ring or BOTW this is fine because you can use cleverness, strategy, items, summons, friends, WHATEVER, to tailor the experience, and when things are too easy it's usually still fun because it's a great measure of your character's growth, often due to overcoming things balanced against you to get that extra edge. You can summon your friends into Paldea which IS cool but what can you DO together? Those raid things? Which are boring, slow, and easy as fuck and the screens before/after take longer than actually playing them (which usually is just spamming your Super Effective move repeatedly when it's even functioning correctly). Trainers don't stop you in your tracks but what is the damn POINT of them, even? Everyone's got like one, MAYBE two monsters, and gym leaders don't seem to put up much of a fight at all, either. I GET hella kids will play this but that was true on GB and they had SOME more there.

In fact, backtrack to the GB games. I still distinctly remember exploring Mt. Moon for the first time. It was a maze. It was full of fucking Zubats and Geodudes, and trainers who had Pokemon my Fire starter and normal types struggled against. It was memorable as a challenge, as an environment to work through. Most Pokemon games have locations like that, at least in older gens. This game seems to be lacking in any of that despite the open world format being ripe for putting things like that in. I don't remember locations really, apart from a handful of small landmarks shrouded in buildings in the towns. I, uh, stumbled upon a neat cave tunnel one time, which had…some of the usual Pokemon you'd expect, maybe a TM or something, and that was basically it? Nowhere else in my 16 hours of playing felt like I had DISCOVERED anything, save for the single ominous glowy nail stuck in the ground I saw. And yet multiple times in Arceus I experienced at least a sense of discovery when I found a unique patch of land with a wisp to collect or an Alpha Pokemon tucked in a cranny somewhere you couldn't see from a distance, or a nice place to stock up on certain items, or a shiny Pokemon that made its presence VERY VISUALLY APPARENT the second it was on screen, from at least some amount of distance (rather than you tripped over it when it pops in three feet in front of you with a color so barely different from the norm you don't even recognize it as a shiny). I'm sorry, this world is mostly hollow, vapid, and boring for me to navigate, worsened by the performance issues really hampering things.

There are giant arrow signs pointing to where you can actually go because the world design doesn't make much sense. Ladders stuck into the side of rock faces because…no reason? They're just…there. They make no sense with the design of the landscape. Doesn't feel like a world. You can't rely on the map to figure out where to go sometimes due to the way things are laid out, too, with entrances to some of the northern regions being really obtuse. Towns stutter and chug as NPCs pop in and out and flicker, they don't really have anything interesting to say, anyway. Houses can't be entered, trainers aren't deliberately in wait for you but just…standing aimlessly around, waiting to be talked to - and of course they almost always have a single mon and that's it. There's barely any landmarks to get you curious to check something out, and on the rare occasion when something visually looks…"interesting" (read: different but ugly because this game can't render for shit), when you go to check it out, it's usually just…a big blah, nothing exciting. I will say that at least there DOES seem to be some kind of neat sidequest involving glowy nails stuck in the ground (presumably to unlock a mysterious Pokemon, I assume). THAT is something! Give us more of that! That is actually using your open world and Pokemon formatting to do something fun and interesting the old style of games wouldn't be able to do the same.

Even Arceus did this way better, with all kinds of little nooks and crannies with specific Pokemon hiding in wait, motivating you to check out the parts of the map you haven't been to. It wasn't super advanced, but it was something. Here, everything feels fucking RANDOM. Even items feel absolutely random, and near as I can tell, many of them literally are. There's some TMs that do seem "deliberately" placed but not in a way that generally feels rewarding to get to, and every other item literally feels randomly scattershot around, and often seems laggy to get picked up for some reason. Also, why is everything you pick up in a pokeball again? We finally ditched this shit in Arceus, where items are actually recognizeable out in the field, and make SENSE, and you combine them and use them in organic ways. The only crafting we have now is for TMs, which IS a cool idea, but I don't really like the execution since it entails 'parts' from specific Pokemon, whereas I think it'd have been better to give you a few options per TM, and/or types, or…something less finite and rigid, given just how many Pokemon exist. That's a minor complaint, it's really fine I suppose, but I already miss the much more beneficial item crafting of Arceus, which meant I valued every healing item and pokeball I used and stockpiled until the late game, where I felt rewarded for having made so much progress so as to not even worry about that stuff.

Not to mention from a tech spec the game can't even render an open world that functions properly. Shit pops in SO close to you. And it's not just a visual thing, it directly impacts the gameplay in a negative way. Your big dragonbike will trip on the smallest mon that popped in ten feet in front of you and whoops, you're stuck in a battle now. See a Pokemon you wanna fight but overshot where it is slightly? It despawns and guess what? It ain't comin' back because when something disappears it doesn't necessarily mean it's still there, it's probably just fuckin' gone now if it's a wild mon.

Briefly, let's touch on Tera types. Fun idea, on paper. In practice...just more nonsense than it's worth, tbh. And it's patently clear they wanted a fancy new visual gimmick without needing to actually render new mon designs so hey, slap a wonky texture and a hat on their head that makes things easily interchangeable. I will admit the idea of being able to swap a Pokemon's type temporarily is a great one, though, especially given just how pivotal type matchups are to the strategy and success of the mainline games, but the implementation here is...just kinda half-baked, in my mind. Not to mention the raids somehow being even worse than before, despite having some more interesting ideas. Like they're just WAY too difficult, or WAY too easy, and/or way too buggy/laggy.

There's a new cooking system, and unlike the curry system it's less engaging to do, much more finnicky, AND is just plain unclear. Like. Someone explain to me how the cooking system even functions, why it's useful, HOW and WHERE you can even see what food effects you currently have active and for how long. Big waste of time, not to mention how comically bad the foot eating animation is, on top of how finnicky the sandwich minigame itself is (psst, GameFreak, just…just add a SHADOW, you know? so we can see where the heck objects are going to land?)

Oh and there's a day-night cycle, but it's terrible. There's no in-game clock (just a vague symbol that changes, on your map, which is easy to miss to begin with). It's not based on real-world time. Lighting will SUDDENLY change from night to day, no inbetween, seemingly. This happens during big battles, cutscenes -- you'll start a boss fight in the day, end it at night, watch a cutscene in the day, and then suddenly it's night time when you're out of the cutscene. You cannot seem to fast-forward it or change it in any way, so if you want to catch something during a certain time of day, sucks to be you, I guess. Arceus did not have these problems, not any of them as I recall.

Which brings me to probably my biggest gripe with the gameplay: it's back to being pointlessly slow, boring to look at, and generally a terribly clunky sense of flow. Arceus was laughable amidst other AAA franchise peers but it at least got lots of quality of life things improved to make game flow FASTER and more seamlessly. In ScarVi, basically EVERYTHING Arceus did to somehow address Pokemon's awful pacing has been undone. Practically all of the same bullshit is here and accounted for when it comes to battles, using items, buying things, it's all clunky as hell. Want to buy multiple lemonades at a vending machine? Have fun scrolling the text and waiting for it every single time. A mon changes stats in a fight? Watch every single individual stat change animation in sequence, every time. Using an attack that hits multiple times? Watch the dinky little animation, then the HP decrease, every single time, and of course with pointless text boxes slowing things further. ANY time HP changes in any way, you have to sit and wait a second for the bar to change. Except, actually, not always -- seemingly at fucking random it just…won't show it sometimes?

Did a move miss? Cool, just don't bother animating it! Did a Pokemon dodge? No animation for that either. Can you run away? No animation for that, either, just an arbitrary "dunno, you couldn't escape for SOME REASON" Why. Why is this shit still a thing in a top selling RPG in 2022? Arceus also did most of this shit, too, and it's pretty dumb, to be frank. Just a QUICK little jump and rotation of a Pokemon model as the text tells you it missed, SOMETHING. And Arceus actually let you RUN AWAY by just…literally running. Not to mention how seamlessly it allowed you to switch Pokemon and use items, even out in the field, by letting you sort things and use item bars. Like modern video games do? None of that here. Hope you like sifting through like ten pockets of random shit to get whatever specific thing you need, then click on a mon, play a glaring sound effect they refuse to get rid of, then wait arbitrarily for it to do its thing, and get a text prompt telling you it did its thing. I know there's an 'auto heal' function on the menu, which IS something, at least? And you are picking up healing items a lot, which does show some degree of foresight (though again, feels more random than anything). But the clunky UI and beeping and booping and ALL of this fucking waiting for plain text scrolls to describe things that don't need describing and could be SHOWN with just super basic, quick animations…this isn't charming at this point, it doesn't feel deliberate -- it feels lazy.

Oh, hey, by the way, remember how an exciting addition to the past few entries has been customizing your character with different outfits and hairstyles? WELL FUCK YOU you don't GET to customize your character as much now. No new outfits to find. Nearly every damn store sells like 10 color variations of ONE thing, maybe two, and almost all of them are so boring and bland! Want to change your hair? Hope you don't like wearing hats, then, because for no good reason the game just DOESN'T let you wear hats with certain hairstyles! At all! Just can't be done I guess! They've never been EXTRA with the cosmetics but this is devolved BACKWARDS, not even from Arceus but from games BEFORE that one.

The game is just awfully inconsistent, all around. The feel, the presentation, the animation, the MUSIC, even just the textures on things…it all feels so hodgepodge. Arceus was light and muddy and didn't look very great usually but it was at least somehow consistent. And I get it, they're clearly commissioning and outsourcing a lot of stuff, but then if that's the case, why does so much still feel so shoddy? If you're gonna outsource, fucking OUTSOURCE -- you're POKEMON, the highest grossing media franchise on the planet. Hire voice actors, hire animators, hire people who know how to make games actually run on the Switch, hire people who know how to make these potentially cool building look GOOD, hire people who know how to apply natural looking textures and polygons to natural environments.

This lack of consistency just gets jarring, especially when stacked with camera wonkiness, framerate dips, etc. And of course you can't edit options anywhere for this shit. Find the loud 8-bit chimes every time you scroll text or use items annoying? Find some songs too repetitious? Too bad. You could completely turn the sound off, I guess?

And YES, I will bring up voice acting, because YES, a series THIS huge should fucking have SOMETHING, somewhere. Not literally everything needs VO, even though just some basic sounds would go a long way. But the CUTSCENES? With named characters who even by now actually somewhat animate? Why are they all muted? It was kind of cute on the Wii when they did it with Twilight Princess, a game that was actually oozing with detail and production (by Nintendo's standards then), and characters who animated in ways that made them genuinely interesting to look at. But here, it's like…I dunno? It just feels EMPTY. Like it feels like voiceover is missing, because...it literally is. If other RPGs that sell a FRACTION of the copies Pokemon does can have two or even MORE voiced languages, why are we getting literally nothing here? It's not a "stylistic choice," it's just boring. And if people don't want the VO then hey maybe let us mute JUST the VO -- that is, if you're capable of getting that to work. Arceus had its issues. It absolutely did. When that game released, I thought it was a new low for the series, production wise. How ironic, given how much worse this game is in that department. But Arceus had a strong sense of FLOW. It was so organic and fast-paced compared to other Pokemon games, filling out the dex was more enriching and involved, side quests contributed to an overall theme and focus, everything was streamlined, sped up and improved -- even the holy battle system was CHANGED in ways that made it faster and more interesting imo. I'm not saying you need to ditch this entire classic style formula, Legends can easily be its own side series, but DANG did ya'll drop the ball on picking up what inherent improvements it made and reverting back to the slower, boring stuff, INCLUDING releasing two versions.

And lastly, why in the fuck ARE we still doing this double version bullshit? It's not cute anymore. You're not doing anything meaningful with it. It's just there to boost sales. Cut it out. Another thing Arceus addressed, by the way, and ditched. Because it's pretty dumb. Give us meaningful choices, yes -- like our starters. Remember back in the day when that wasn't the ONLY choice you'd get that would limit what Pokemon you'd have? Give us more of that, if your real goal is to encourage players to trade. But it's not -- it's to arbitrarily sell more copies to the people who will double down JUST to…own the same fucking game twice. And we still fall for it.

And in the end, isn't that how we ended up here? Because we keep collectively giving GameFreak the benefit of the doubt. We keep cutting The Pokemon Company slack. We keep letting Nintendo off the hook when it comes to Pokemon, specifically, in a way no other franchise except KIND OF Sonic gets away with. Pokemon means the world to me. I got into writing fiction because of Pokemon. I treasure those early days of the franchise, and I still treasure the POTENTIAL it is brimming with, as new kids get into it in numbers untold of, and as kids who grew up with it are adults, hungry for more -- and yet does GameFreak acknowledge that a DECENT PORTION of its audience are adults? Nah.

"But it's made for kids." Miss me. Miss me with that tired ass excuse. It's old and stale and not applicable anymore. Kids don't deserve games that run like ass, held together by tape and string, with bare minimum presentation yet a premium price tag -- oh, and make that price tag DOUBLE for lots of folks due to the unnecesary dual-release thing. You know what other games came out this year that were made for kids, and even specifically on the Switch? Kirby and the Forgotten Land. Splatoon 3. Some recent TV shows made for kids? The Owl House, She-Ra, CentaurWorld. And they're all fucking great, well produced, well made, and all pieces of media adults can easily pick up and enjoy even if they're not the target audience. And at the end of the day, people of EVERY age deserve to enjoy things they love, and deserve GOOD, well made things that money is getting spent on.

This would be an entirely different conversation -- a non-existant one, really -- if GameFreak was actually an indie team, making actual indie games. You may have blinked and missed it, but they HAVE made indie games -- multiple by now. And they never seem to take off. Just throwing that out there. GameFreak seems to want to cling to some fantasy of being a plucky indie developer, yet insistent on trying to stretch their too few workers too thinly rushing out multiple things out the door (ScarVi and Arceus absolutely did not need to release in the SAME CALENDER YEAR). I'm sorry but when you're an "indie team" operating under the highest grossing media franchise on the planet, AND you want to be producing multiple games simultaneously, AND you want to try doing ambitious things, AND you don't want to (or more likely, don't GET to) take your time on them, AND you don't want to allocate the people, experience, resources necessary to get things to actually function properly, much less look and feel good? Pokemon Scarlet/Violet is what you get.

And it's not some anomaly. This was to be expected. We could all pretty much see this was where the franchise was going when Sword and Shield happened. And there's no reason for this trend not to continue at this rate, with record setting sale numbers in its opening days.

I love the potential of this world, and other franchises that have found success have been able to BLOSSOM in beautiful ways from that success, in this past decade specifically (even just the past 5 years). I really like many of the individual characters in this specific video game. I love seeing Pokemon games try to FINALLY mix things up in meaningful ways, it's long overdue.

But I'm probably just "too old" and "too grumpy" to appreciate the shoddy quality, repetitious and boring pacing, and overall lack of foresight or game design present in modern Pokemon games. Many will gobble this game up and enjoy it, and I am honestly really happy that can still happen even with the state this game is in. I was likewise able to enjoy Arceus more than any mainline Pokemon since Gen 2, even though the game felt like a glorified tech demo. The Pokemon formula just isn't enough for me anymore, and The Pokemon Company absolutely has all of the time, money, and resources they could want to make the games elevate to the standard of quality you'd expect from a brand that performs like Splatoon, like Mario, like Zelda, like Animal Crossing -- and a franchise that reels in adults to a kid's game in ways essentially no other franchise does. It's fucking weird how scared of quality production values the Pokemon games are in a lot of ways. Meanwhile, look at what Bandai Namco has been able to pull off when given the reigns: games that look and feel like actual modern video games, still kid-friendly, but also aware that adults like Pokemon, too. Why do actual Pokemon games seem terrified of this?

Dear GameFreak: Get over your indie complex. You don't get to pretend to be indie while selling more copies of a single game than every other indie game combined, and then do it AGAIN like 8 months later. Also? A Iot of the people who put you on the map -- people who were kids years ago -- aren't kids anymore. Stop pretending your entire audience is literal children, because many of them are not, and I'm sure you know it. But even if all of them were, you used to treat kids with more respect in how you designed and balanced stuff. Stop being afraid of that, I feel like most anyone picking up a damn Pokemon game in 2022 has some idea of what they're getting into.

Dear Pokemon Company: Let GameFreak fucking have TIME to make quality games. Give them proper resources, experienced programmers and artists, hire some actual writers maybe, voice actors. YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY. Stop being greedy shits rushing more and more out the door just to keep growing when you are already so huge. Your games are suffering from it and it's embarrassing given how successful you are. You invest SO MUCH into animation, marketing, cards, merchandise, and the actual GAMES -- the part the MOST amount of your audience engages with the most deeply -- are getting starved for time and resources. What the fuck.

Dear Nintendo: Ya'll are fucking better than this. You may not always make smart business choices, or even MODERN game design choices (though you're starting to get your heads on with that, small steps at a time), but at LEAST you've always been known for QUALITY. This messy product is a notable low for you. You should be embarrassed that a game this ugly, buggy, stuttery, rushed, and unfinished got your stamp of approval. If I was you, I'd be rushing people in to help patch the issues, and sitting down with all parties involved to make sure this doesn't happen again.

I know the ownership/management of Pokemon games is this weird mishmash in a way no other Nintendo property quite deals with so I'm sure there's stuff going on behind the scenes we don't know. I'm just mad, I'm tired, I'm fed up of seeing a franchise SO FULL OF POTENTIAL get this treatment. Unless something substantially improves, I'm done with Pokemon -- and that doesn't matter to the corporations involved. But it sure makes me upset, personally, and I'm certain I can't be the only one.

I did not get to the end of Pokemon Scarlet.

GameFreak did not finish their damn game, so I don't see why I should, either.

TLDR;

+ Great character designs and new Mon designs + Actual splashes of genuine worldbuilding and personality + We are technically allowed to do what we want + Pokemon formula/numbers game is addictive -That addictive formula is like 25 years old ya'll, gotten stale -Technical issues are HELLA BAD but you know this -Game is just overall kinda ugly already, WITH terrible optimization -World is flat and empty, devoid of life or anything interesting -Gameplay is slow, repetitious, mind-numbing -Basically everything Arceus addressed/improved, this walks back on

#Pokemon #Pokemon Scarlet #Pokemon Violet #scarlet and violet #Pokemon SV #pokemon scarvi #pokemon scarlet and violet #Pokemon spoilers #rant #ramble #pokemon review #game review #pkmn

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reinstarnation · 1 year

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this is gonna be rambly and kinda weird but I need a place to konmari my thoughts and this is the safest void.

if you have any advice for this, please send it in. I don't know what it'd be for, honestly.

all under the cut:

I'm starting this off by saying I'm really emotionally stunted and that bleeds into my feelings and perceptions of the self. I generally never know what the fuck I'm feeling or whether it's good or bad and can only barely assess it in hindsight.

This kind of bleeds into my gender crisis I've been on-and-off paying attention to for a whole 10 years now. My perception of the self is really kind of whack. It surmounts to "Yes, I have a body" and "I don't like these parts but I have to live with them." It's like that in a bunch of aspects: I've been obese since I was a child because of my parents and toxic relationships with food, I have pretty negative relationships with my family and I hate that i look like them, etc.

I saw a repost on pinterest about gender and age evolutions (mobile pinterest is bad about me being able to find posts I've viewed to find sources). The summary is that boy and girl as genders are different than man and woman as genders because of roles and age evolution.

That hit me. So I was like, "okay, options" and started trying to apply this and, it feels incomplete, more clear but incomplete.

Girl was correct up until like, age 10, even if it was just in title. Woman is incorrect on vibes alone. I think about being a woman in the future (the now? I'm a whole ass adult and no adult term feels right) and I could actually throw up. Man doesn't feel right even in the future but it isn't the same immediate reaction. I can only explain it as you're translating something in a language you're familiar with but not 100%, and you're like sure you translated a word right but you still wanna double and triple check. Enby is sort of the same way, but in a sense where I can't imagine being an adult with that title from immediate stigma I'm force-fed.

But there's an inbetween that doesn't seem to fit with that, like the teenage years aren't in that model. even though as a teenager you're still a child. I'd argue that until like 25 you should still be considered a child because of brain development.

Like if there were teen in that model, none feel right. Teen girl, big fucking no. Teen boy, not at all. Teen enby, nope. Teendom was just a big gray pit of every mental issue and physical issue being put center stage and I barely remember the half of it.

I firmly believe in the phrase "euphoria denotes transness" but I don't think I've ever experienced that. Dysphoria, yes, and it bleeds into some of my other identities.

If I could imagine a future where I could present as I want, it'd be completely unattainable because of cost or expectation. Cost is based on depressive realism: I'm from one of the poor sections of a industrial town in a low COL state, my family is just above the poverty line, I can't do low skill labor because of the social and emotional costs of working those, I can't do work and college at the same time, I have student loans even on a full tuition scholarship. Expectation is based on predatory beauty standards, (internalised) ableism, (internalised) sexism and the like: I wouldn't be obese, I wouldn't have boobs, I won't be able to get pregnant, I wouldn't be as tall as I am, I wouldn't be convex bow-legged with the stress point at the knees, I wouldn't be neurodivergent, I wouldn't have ever s/h-ed, I wouldn't have sensory issues, I wouldn't be asthmatic, etc.

But so much of what I would imagine an adult me to be is unattainable. Like even the most basic changes of "not obese," "no boobs," and "not able to get pregnant" are unattainable. I can't diet because of sensory issues (mostly texture based). Gym memberships are expensive and I've already stated that I'm not in the best situation for working. Top surgery is expensive and even though breast cancer runs in my family, I don't have at-risk symptoms or it close enough to get them cut off for prevention purposes. Getting sterlised in my home state is near impossible but not having a period would make my anxiety worse because I'm AFAB and i could get seriously hurt in ways where not having a period may be the only way I'd know it happened.

Talking about this with my family is a trip to disowned-ville or denial-town waiting to happen. it's already happened before when I was 11.

I don't know what label i'd be, none of them feel right. I'm definitely not cis, but other than that idfk.

And I don't have the means to make it better. Even like experimenting with a binder is out of the question because of costs.

#risha shut up #rishas mental health bs #gender #lgbtqia #trans issues #advice request #terfs dni #long post

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chocominnie · 3 years

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One Last Time 02 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01

⇢ Word Count :

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.

Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots.

A missed call from your uncle.

Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.

‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘

His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.

‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb. She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.

Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.

Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong.

“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.

The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’

You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.

‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.

It was taken at Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.

‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”

You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’

No you cant.

‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.

‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”

‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”

You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.

You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’

‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.

Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.

Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.

On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.

“You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”

You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”

‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’

‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.

‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘

‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘

‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.

‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.

He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’

Beep Beep Beep

You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.

Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.

‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.

You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.

Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘

Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘

Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’. As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.

A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.

‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘

Money? Sounds like a plan.

‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.

Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.

On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.

‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘

You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.

You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.

‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.

Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘

Thank goodness.

‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘

‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘

‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.

‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘

The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.

‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.

You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.

Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.

Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-

You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.

Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.

Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.

Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.

Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.

You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.

Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.

As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.

‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.

Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.

Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.

‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘

You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.

You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”

You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.

‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘

Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.

‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.

Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”

‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”

“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.

Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “

Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.

He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.

‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”

‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?

‘‘ Baby.. ’‘

Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.

‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘

‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.

Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.

‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’

You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.

‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.

‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-

‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.

You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’

He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”

There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.

‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.

Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.

Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.

Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”

‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.”

He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.

Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”

‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.

The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.

‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.

‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”

‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.

He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘

One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.

‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.

He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’

You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’

Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.

‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.

Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.

‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “ You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.

You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.

‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.

You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’

He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’

You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”

He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.

Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead. A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.

‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “

Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door. You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.

The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.

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dreamties · 4 years

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Polyam!Ghostface W/ an Artist S/O

A/n- So...I’m actually doing these for all the characters !!

But for the sake of all the mobile users wanting to read these...I am posting them one at a time.

I should have Brahms and/or Amanda’s ready this week...but we’ll have to wait and see with the other ones...

Stu Specific HCs:

Stu is 1000% the kind of person to ask you to draw him...along with giving you a ton of requests.

Like, we all love Stu- but my god can he be a handful sometimes.

Stu always asks you for the strangest things. I think it’s mostly...he wants to see what extent you can go- what all of your limitations are. But he also just really loves your art, and seeing you work.

I always imagine Stu to be kind of squirrely- but watching you draw? That’s something he could do for hours.

He also requests a lot of really gory things. Which, depending on your usual subject matters- could either be really fun and you’ll enjoy the process...OR it will be an absolute disaster. No inbetweens.

Stu Honestly might be part of the reason you’ve gotten so good at art. In a way he’s sort of pushed you to try new things, get out of your comfort zone- really testing your skills.

I mean- how could you say no to that face? You’ve drawn so many things for this man, but that’s okay- as annoying as he can be sometimes, you absolutely adore him.

Stu keeps all of the pieces you give him tacked up on his wall.

Now for Billy...

Billy’s more reserved with his appreciation of your passions.

He’s a more secretive person- unlike Stu, he keeps them all in a little box under his bed. Late at night when he’s not with his partners ( which is rare, but still occurs ), and he needs a bit of comfort...he retrieves the box from underneath his bed. He goes through every single piece that you made for him, unprompted. There’s thoughts of him in every line and wash of color.

For gifts and stuff: you’ll often make little portraits of their favorite horror icons OR of them.

There’s a lot more of Billy though. Usually from when he’s not really looking or paying attention to what you’re doing. Often times during class, while you can’t help but to look at the frustrated look he’s giving his English assignment, or his bored but pleasant look out the window waiting for the class to end. Very candid, in the moment sketches.

Billy’s a better model, too. No offense to Stu, of course. But he’s not as extravagant or wild with his movements...he’s able to stay still a lot longer.

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volleyball-dontknowher · 4 years

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Dating Kuroo + Kenma

I deleted the ask on accident so please forgive me on that, it said something along the lines of ‘can you do fluff with what it would be like to be dating both Kuroo and Kenma at the same time” so sorry!

Words:1.4 k

Warnings; None

A?N: I just figured out that my anon was off so now my requests can be anon!!!

also I kinda loved this and may do a NSFW part

Literally always something new and unexpected like you can never plan what you are going to find when you walk in the door

Kuroo is going to be in charge of most of the dates and is going to end up dragging you and Kenma (mostly you) across the entire town for fun

He likes to take you out a lot and is going to treat you and Kenma to nights out while Kenma is going to like to stay at home more and do more tame things that are more along the lines of playing against each other in games or baking

Kuroo is your go to person to cuddle in this relationship because if Kenma is streaming or playing it is going to be completely one sided until he is done but Kuroo is going to give you all of his attention almost immediately

BUTTTT when Kenma wants to cuddle he is literally the best person to cuddle with in the entire world and you and Kuroo will fight for his attention

Kenma will wrap his arms around you and kiss your temples while telling you that he loves you, it is the best experience in the world and you wouldn’t trade it for anything

If Kuroo walks in on the two of you cuddling without him he is going to give you both a hard time then come join in

Otherwise if you guys are sitting on the couch or whatever Kuroo is typically in the middle with at least an arm around you both

You each take a meal to be incharge of for the week and that ends with Kenma having the best choices of food that are also super easy to make, Kuroo burning something at least once that week (usually when it is his turn to do dinner) and you have to order takeout or something instead

When it is Kuroo’s turn to pack lunches he always puts little messages inside of them with something cute but also forgets to put an ice pack in with the food so you will end up with warm yogurt

Kuroo is bigger with PDA and showing you two that he loves you in more outward ways and is not afraid to be out there

Kenma is going to show you guys that he cares by taking baths with you, or helping Kuroo practice and coming to his games, he is the type that shows affection in little ways and doesn't even think about any big gestures or anything like that

Kenma also likes to get you both little things that remind him of you, he will be out at a con or something doing a panel and sees a little pin of a scruffy cat and is going to immediately get it for Kuroo and gets you one of a cute little snail

Kenma does the grabby hands towards both of you when he wants affection, he likes to have contact with one of you while he’s gaming and likes when you two rest up against him because it is affection but he also doesn't have to stop playing

Bed time is always an adventure because the boys either go to bed at 9:00 sharp of 3 am and there is absolutely no inbetween, if it is an 9 o’clock night for one of them you will go check on the other, give them a couple of good night kisses and go lay in bed with the other

Typically you sleep in the middle so that the two can climb into bed whenever they want and not have to worry about disturbing you with their commotion

Kuroo likes to wrap his arms around you to fall asleep and is not going to like to let go of you which can be horrible because he is a human heater and you’re too sweet to push him off of you but when he does it to Kenma he is going to get shut down

Kenma likes cuddles before bed but is not down for someone wrapping their arms around him because he is going to feel trapped, but he will happily do it to someone else

They take turns being the big and little spoon but they don’t like being the spoons next to each other because they always complain that the other one’s breath is too hot or they are looking at the other funny or something

They both like to sleep because it is more comfortable and Kuroo will definitely try and pressure you into sleeping shirtless too and you have to admit that it does work sometimes and neither of them will complain

You and Kenma constantly steal Kuroo’s shirts and he can’t complain but he also needs more than three items in his drawer so he has started to hide some of his shirts from you so that he can actually get dressed

When you go clothes shopping Kuroo is going to hype you up and lot and is going to tell you how amazing you look and Kenma is going to give you little smiles and nods of approval

Kenma has an eye for fashion and will choose things out for the two of you that look amazing on you

Kuroo on the other hand would wear an all neon shirt if it’s what they had in his size, but he secretly likes the two of you choosing things out for him because it makes him super happy to know that you think he looks good and likes the affection from it

Kenma is super picky when it comes to himself and you two are going to have to promise him that it looks nice about a thousand times before he will get it because he is going to be happy in one of his sweatshirts otherwise

But when he gets a nice outfit likes to show it off and go on a nice date with it

Neither of them accept any criticism on their relationship and will not let people say anything negative about it

SO protective and loving when you guys are out in public, the two of them are going to be sending glares at everyone who even looks at you and does not let you go anywhere without one of them

Secretly they love doing a lot of the domestic shit with you like Kenma loves going grocery shopping with you because you just look so cute and he can see his whole future right there (you don’t let Kuroo go anymore because he likes to put one of everything in the cart then intimidate the cashier by smirking at them and watching everything too carefully, so now it’s a weekly thing for you and Kenma

Kenma eventually comes out with merch and has you and Kuroo be the models for his website and is going to tell you how cute you look and will absolutely die if you help him with the designs

Kuroo is always down to play with Kenma and if you know video games they love when you join them too but if you don’t they think that your commentary is adorable and honestly is their favorite part of it all because you couldn’t be more wrong and Kuroo will tease you relentlessly until Kenma makes him stop

You get to do your babies hair and they love it, you can try your best to tame Kuroo’s horrible mess of hair and sometimes it ends up looking amazing but other times it somehow looks more messy

Kenma’s is way easier and honestly a lot more fun, you got him to start using your leave in conditioner so his hair is really soft and easy to put into cute styles, he loves when you get it out of his face and likes you doing it so much that he won’t put his hair up unless you do it and it’s honestly adorable

They both try and do your hair from time to time as a way of showing you that the actually know what they are doing or being affectionate and it is usually just them brushing your hair and giving you little kisses

Kuroo has to have a goodbye kiss from one of you every single time he leaves and he won’t go unless you kiss him so you better expect it and when he gets back he likes to pull both of you into a big hug and kiss as a sign of his affection and showing that he missed you

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bornfrcmchaos · 4 years

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I very rarely share anything personal on any of my social media accounts. Mostly because I try to distance myself from any sort of conflict therefore I rarely have any opinion to share, but also because for the majority of time I have been online, I have thrived to gain more followers, therefore somewhat compromised with my own beliefs to benefit the majority. It’s also why I find it so hard to write this post now and I have already deleted it and started over a couple of times.

It started with the so called #natebuzzisoverparty going viral at the moment over someone with different opinion because canceled by default by society because his beliefs differ from these of the majority. I saw a couple hateful comments which clearly just show how most of us simply read inbetween the lines.

This may be the main reason for this post to exist but it’s not the sole one. I think what’s the base of it, is the fact how hateful people have grown over the years and how toxic fandoms had become. I’m noticing a serious increase in celebrities being canceled by society over their actions and don’t get me wrong. I don’t defend anyone and I’m not okay with any bad decisions they might have made but what people seem to forget is, they are people just like us. And people aren’t perfect. People make mistake (not that I do believe Nate had made any mistake in simply sharing HIS OWN PERSONAL BELIEF on a matter). It’s just something you should always keep in mind when about to attack someone. Think how it’ll make you feel waking up to hateful dms, comments, etc. Think how it’ll make your loved ones feel. Also, think about the pressure society had put on these people given that they will be someone else’s role model.

I know just by this statement alone I will get a lot of hate anons but I’m already used to those. I have received one solely because of an edit posted on my resource blog, making me explain how it doesn’t mean I support toxic relationships just because I have posted a cute scene, which happens to involve such couple. Yet for those who choose to view life only from e certain point, it’ll always look this way and I’m fine with it.

I don’t try to change your opinion, but I do hope you like a moment to read this post and push behind any prejudices you might have while doing so. It’s okay if you still firmly believe in your opinion. Nor I, nor Nate have tried to tell you how you should live your life. But if there is at least one person, who reads this and at least tried to see the other point of view rather than just respond with hate and denial to it by default, then I’d be happy. Because it personally hurts me to see someone with such pure and genuine view of the world be shunned by the society of primarily non-believers.

I’m neither pro-life, nor pro-choice. The reason I choose not to take stand on the matter is because I try to accept that everyone has freedom to choose which side to take. However, what I see is that the majority of pro-choice followers main argument against pro-life followers revolves around rape. Let me give you some food for thought then - which is harder in your opinion - getting rid of a fetus, which is just “a few cells” with no opinion after all, or learning to love this child despite it all? I have read a dozen stories of rape victims, chosing to keep the baby and growing to love it. I don’t say it’s not traumatic. It’s traumatic either way and I think what many pro-choice followers tend to forget that there are times when people later regret the decision they’ve made. Plus, often an abortion can be a traumatic experience on it’s own, which only may add to an already existing trauma. Morever, to anyone who says it’s just “a few cells”, may I remind you that you were also “a few cells” once, so imagine how it would make you feel, if it was your mother thinking that way and making the decision to abort you. In a time when we fight for human rights and claim that life matters it’s the most hypocritical way to say that anything, which may later turn into an actual human being is just “a few cells”. It seems to me that you simply put human’s life in the same category as a virus or other one-cell organism you may learn about in biology classes. Think how this makes you feel and maybe then you may understand where the pro-lifers point of view comes.

That said, I once again remind you I chose to stand in the middle, not taking sides. Simply observing and admiting each party has it’s arguments and I think that’s the attitude each of has to show. I know it may be hard when you’re standing on one side of the matter, but if you just choose to not read inbetween the lines and see only this which supports your arguement against, you may actually see that there are people who don’t try to change your view but simply to make you think. Think how hypocritical it is to claim unborn child’s life matters less than that of a grown-ass human.

And since I have also seen people claiming Nate is homophobic and anti-muslim... I’m sure many would say I’m homophobic too, once they hear my opinion on the matter. But just like my stand on abortion, I neither stand against, nor approve of the constant idea of showing LGBTQ+ movements on any possible platform. Don’t get me wrong, I am very respectful of people, who feel attracted to the same gender or both genders, etc. I’m a fan of Vanessa Morgan as you may see and I like Choni as you may also see in my blog. However, it bugs me how all of a sudden every tv show, movie or book made it a trend to involve at least one character from this community. What bugs me even more it that people within this community approve of it. Like their are simply scared to be differect and want society to accept them, but not accept that it’s normal to be different but rather tranform into a society where this is okay by default.

As for the anti-muslim part... Religion is always a tough subject to be discussed. In fact, it’s one many choose to avoid at all cost and those who happen to not avoid it usually end up being called out as being anti certain religion. But if you have followed Nate’s instagram account for long enough, you’ll notice on many occasions he’d admitted he had muslim friends he STILL keeps in touch with, meaning he’s not anti-muslim if people choose to keep in touch with him despite his beliefs or shared opinions. Being told part of your religion is false, is hard. I come from a place where people were forced to give up their religion and where Christians and Muslims now live in somewhat of peace but there are still rivalry. So it may be hard for you to get it, if you’re not from such region, or if you’re a Muslim and you’ve been taught there is only one true faith because I have studied islamic law, which is very closely related to religion, so I know how it is. But please do not mistake it when someone tries to point out the difference between both and educate you as being against it. But also, just like it hurts you when once cancels your religion, so does it hurt when you cancel their own.

If you’ve reached the end of this post. Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope it made you go on about your life with a bit more kindness towards others, a bit more love instead of hate and a bit more appreciation that everyone deserves to believe in what’s right and what’s in alignment with their values and beliefs. Stay safe and do all with love and kindness!

#istanwithnatebuzz #nathaniel buzolic #personal opinion #personal #natebuzz

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banshee-king · 4 years

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Eldar Guardians Ramble (They Should Have Mines!):

Currently I don’t really like how Guardians play. I like their look, but I have problems with their tabletop rules and their role in the lore. Currently I think rangers are just a better option both lore-wise and tabletop-wise, but every unit should be viable. if Guardians ever get updated then this is what I’d like changed (hint, they should get explosive mines).

Storm Guardians have 1 attack each compared to Ork Boyz or Wyches who get two and their weapons gives them a third. Even Hormagaunts get 2 attacks base with a weapon that rerolls 1s to hit. ALL dedicated melee units should have 2 attacks. I know Storm Guardians have a weapon that gives a second attack, but they should have that base, with their weapon either giving them a third, or rerolls, or AP (like other proper melee units).

Guardian Defenders meanwhile get a single heavy weapon for every 10 models. That’s 2 for twenty models. Their guns are 12”, Battle Focus means they can advance and shoot, but a 48” heavy weapon completely goes against this. It’s like the unit doesn’t know what it wants to do. Compare this to Kabalites who get 2 special and 1 heavy for a squad of 10, or Skitarii who get 3 specials per 10 models.

Then you have the problem where Eldar are a dying race with a small, hard to replace population and they only reason they fight is to preserve those still alive. Guardians are civilian militia! Taking multiple squads of 20 in light armour and weak weapons feels wrong. At least DEldar can resurrect their troops. Guardians are only taken in lore when times are desperate, so not only do they feel weak tabletop wise, even if you win the battle but take casualties you still end up losing.

You could give Storm Guardians two attacks each and let Defenders take a heavy weapon for every 5 models, and I would definitely like that, but then there’s another problem. 5 Defenders manning a single heavy weapons platform does feel better than 10, makes them feel like a proper long ranged unit, but it’s still worse than the Support Weapon unit, which has 2 Guardians crewing an even bigger gun. Then you have Wave Serpents which can take 3 heavy weapons and is crewed by, what, 3-4 Guardians? The Vyper has 2 Guardians and 1 heavy weapon, but the real winner is the War Walker with a single Guardian with 2 heavy weapons.

Hiding a heavy weapon amongst chaff is a viable option in the tabletop, but it doesn’t suit the Eldar lore. It suits the Imperial Guard, but lore wise I don’t want to take 10 Guardian Defenders, I want to take 10 War Walkers. The fact that Defenders, Vypers, Windriders, War Walkers, and Wave Serpents all have the exact same weapons only means that 1 of them is going to be the most points efficient.

Guardian infantry needs something else to be unique, they don’t have speed, or durability, or transport capacity to make them special. Right now, I feel like 9/10 times I’d rather take rangers as a troops choice, given their better survivability, damage output, and lower numbers.

So in addition to the minor tweaks I purposed earlier, I suggest giving Guardians mines. In addition to their heavy/special weapons (1 per 5 models), for every ten models one other Storm/Defender Guardian could take mines. Model-wise one arm could be replaced with an arm holding a mine, meanwhile you could have three little mines that could be put on a 25mm base each. I’m imagining these mines have little legs to run at enemies nearby (so no pressure plate), and lore-wise are programmed with limited intelligence.

How they work: In every shooting phase a model equipped with them may place a mine 3” away. So if you have 3 squads of 10, that’s 3 mines a turn. If an enemy model gets within 3” of a mine (so that’s a 6” diameter) then it jumps at them and explodes. I prefer this to an ability that’s just like “if an enemy charges the unit, they take a mortal wound on 4+”. Firstly I want Guardians to support other units, not just themselves. Secondly I’d rather the mine be like a plasma grenade since mortal wounds do nothing against Orks or Tyranids, which is what mines should be used against.

In this way Guardians could have a utility ability of area denial, something that War Walkers or Vypers can’t do. It would make Guardians of both types unique, no other Craftworld unit lays mines, and I think it’s lore friendly since Eldar do like ambushes, and mines compliment that. Aspect Warriors are the dedicated damage dealers, specialising in killing different enemies via different means. Wraith Hosts are the tough defensive unit, summoned when the Craftworld itself is under attack to act as the last line of defence.

Guardians then are the support option, used to bulk up the firepower, transport other units, carry ammunition probably, and act as the workhorse of the army. They help with logistics of war, acting as the inbetweeners. If this were another faction, I could see Guardians digging trenches, building bridges over rivers for the tanks, setting up camps, doing recon, so on and so forth. Eldar don’t do most of that, but setting up mine fields is still fitting for them I think.

So if Guardians ever get updated 1) the box should create 10 Storm/Defender Guardians, similar to Skitarii Vanguard/Rangers. 2) Storms should get 2 attacks base, 1 weapon upgrade per 5 models, and new weapons too like a grenade launcher, power sword, or power axe in addition to their fusion gun/flamer. 3) Defenders should get 1 heavy weapon per 5 models, no more changes needed. 4) 1 in 10 models in both units should be able to take mines, not as a one-use ability, and the mines should have a tabletop model, I want to visually see it. 5) Optional, I would like different types of mines like plasma, haywire, or anti-grav, and models can only take one type (although they still shouldn’t have to worry about ammunition).

And that has been my hyper fixation of the week. =)

#warhammer #warhammer 40000 #warhammer 40k #wh40k #eldar

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kumeko · 5 years

Photo

Title: reconnections

A/N: Written for the Choi Sandwich zine, featuring the twins and MC. Unfortunately the zine got cancelled. @naoface drew some cute polaroid shots for this fic, I hope they’re posted somewhere for you to see—they’re really cute!

…

“I have a garden.” Saeyoung crossed his hands, taking in the grassy lot behind his yard. A brown fence, paint peeling off it in places, surrounded the yard on three sides. On the right, his neighbour’s tree gave a small patch of shade, the only relief from the summer heat. “No, wait, I have a backyard?”

“Yeah.” MC raised a brow, hand on her hip. Dressed in a ratty t-shirt and shorts, she looked ready to tackle any dirty job. A grey pair of gloves hung loosely in her free hand and he wondered if Yoosung had given them to her. “Have you never looked out your window?”

Gesturing at himself, Saeyoung shot her a dry look. “Spy. Super-secret spy. I didn’t even think the windows could open.”

“Ugh.” MC shivered, even as she took the brunt of the June heat. “No wonder the AC is on blast all the time.” Donning her gloves, she peered around the corner of his house, at the narrow path leading between the front and the back. Automatically, her voice took a kinder, softer tone. “Do you need help?”

A low voice mumbled something and Saeyoung resisted the urge to look. His brother’s voice was as quiet as he remembered, swallowed up by every other sound on the planet; as though he wasn’t sure he could make a noise, as though he’d be punished if anyone heard him. It had been one thing when this had happened when they were younger; now it seemed like it would never go away.

But his brother was free: free of Rika’s grasp, free from their mother’s words, free from their father’s threats. And maybe one day his words would be free too, to be as loud as a shout. At least, it could be louder than the squeaky tire on the wheelbarrow as Saeran made his way into the backyard.

“Ohhh, pansies.” MC stood next to his brother, leaning past him to pick up a tray of small purple and blue flowers. “My favourite.” Looking over the assorted flowers in the barrow, she glanced at Saeran. “Which one’s yours?”

Saeran gave her a shy smile. Picking up a small green pot, he answered, “Roses. Blue ones the most.”

“I never knew they could be blue.” MC examined the flowers eagerly. Putting back the tray she picked, she rolled up her sleeves. “Alright, let’s get at it. These flowers aren’t going to plant themselves.”

The thought struck Saeyoung. “What if they could?”

“…I mean, your robots are amazing, but that kinda robs the fun of planting.” MC shook her head, already disregarding the idea. She glanced at the neatly trimmed grass, free of weeds, and looked at Saeyoung again. “Wait, is that why your backyard isn’t a jungle?”

“Buzz!” He crossed his arms in front of him. “I didn’t even know it existed ‘til now.”

“Then who?” MC stroked her chin, perplexed. “A pair of wild goats acting like a lawnmower?”

A trowel in hand, Saeran quietly suggested, “Vanderwood?”

Simultaneously, Saeyoung and MC turned to each other, their mouths in an ‘o’ shape. “That’s it!”

-x-

“Hit X!” Saeyoung shouted, his eyes glued to the TV screen. His fingers pressed buttons on the controller faster than Saeran could see them. “That’ll make you go faster.”

“Right. X.” Saeran swallowed, not quite sure how he ended up in this situation. On this couch. He was flanked with his brother on one side and MC on the other. They pressed against his body every now and then, their warmth surprising him each time. Looking down at the black thing in his hands, he looked for an X.

“On the right.” MC tore her eyes away from the screen long enough to point it out to him. While she wasn’t as competitive as his brother, she gave as good as she got, and most matches ended up as a tie between the pair.

And maybe that’s where his troubles started; when he complimented MC for winning a battle. Somehow, they had taken that as a desire to join, and before he knew it, he was sitting here, squished between the two with a strange black controller in his hands. He gripped it awkwardly, trying to remember what buttons the pair had told him to click, rapid-fire-like as though their words were bullets and they had to get through a clip. X? Square? Triangle?

On the wide screen in front of him, his car zigzagged down the racetrack. At least, he hoped it was his car. There were so many on the screen he sometimes lost track of which was his. Beside him, the only sounds he could hear were the quick pressing of buttons and soft cursing as his brother and MC took turns to glare at each other. Blindly, he tapped a button. The wrong move—his car spun, hitting a rainbow prism.

“Hit the left button!” MC yelled, her body leaning right as her car drifted around a corner. She tended to do that a lot, moving as though she was actually in the car, while Saeyoung barely budged from his spot.

Left. Left. Which button was it? Saeran pressed every button he could see when suddenly the split screen in front of him glowed white. His car sailed across the finish line and, beside him, Saeyoung dropped his controller.

“What?” Saeyoung stared at Saeran, then at the screen. “How?”

“Wow! Way to go!” MC wrapped an arm around him, hugging him tightly before letting go. “You won!”

“I did?” Saeran turned back to the screen, to the image of his car running over the finish line once more. He’d won. Joy swelled up in him and maybe there was a point to these games his brother played.

“Again.” Picking up his controller, Saeyoung glared at the screen. “We’re doing this again.”

-x-

Click.

With a scowl, Saeyoung looked up from his circuit board, fully expecting a polaroid camera in his face. Ever since MC had found it in his mess of a junk room, buried beneath broken gadgets and abandoned tool kits, it had been practically glued to her fingers. He could count the number of times he’d woken up to that dreaded click, to her devious smile as she caught him in one terrible pose after the other.

This was not one of those times. No one was in front of him, with a camera or otherwise.

Saeyoung blinked. That was odd. Another click sounded off and he turned his head to find MC on the other side of the room, huddled next to Saeran. His brother was clutching the instant camera in his hands, lowering the viewfinder from his eyes as MC quickly grabbed the photo and started fanning it.

“You’re really good at this,” MC whispered conspiratorially, leaning close to Saeran. “Saeyoung usually wakes up at this point.”

In front of the pair was their unwitting mark: a sleeping Vanderwood. Saeyoung snickered. Finally, someone else. Though, seriously, Vandy slept like the dead, not even so much as stirring at all the noise. No wonder he made such easy prey.

“He’s always been a light sleeper,” Saeran explained, a pleased note in his voice. His fingers nervously played with the hem of his shirt, his other hand tightening its grip on the camera. Hesitantly, he pressed, “The photo…”

“The photo?” MC repeated, turning to him.

Embarrassed, he trailed off and shook his head. The tips of his ears turned red. “Nevermind.”

“It’s a really good photo,” MC chirped, answering his unspoken question. She had a talent for that, Saeyoung had noticed, for reading inbetween the lines, for finding the hidden things. “Vandy almost looks like a model in it.”

And this time, the hidden thing she found was Saeran’s smile. A small, quiet thing, and Saeyoung tried not to stare. His brother’s smiles were rare, dragged out only after much cajoling, and Saeyoung wished he had the camera now, could snap a picture and freeze it in time. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” MC looked at the camera. “You should just keep it—you’ll make better use of it than me.”

Surprised, Saeran shook his head. He held out the camera, trying to return it to her. “I couldn’t—”

“I stole it from Saeyoung anyways. So it’s just going home.” Insistent, MC pressed the camera back into his hands.

“But—”

Brokering no disagreement, she quickly clasped her hands behind her back before he could push the camera back to her. “I want to see more of your photos. They’re great."

Saeran stared at the camera, then at her. Her smile didn’t waver and his lips tugged up slightly. He lowered his eyes, unable to think of a response, unable to say anything but a mumbled thanks.

“Great!” After affectionately bumping shoulders with him, MC pulled out a marker. A mischeivious grin on her face, she slowly stalked toward Vanderwood. “Take a photo of him after I’m done.”

-x-

“Revenge,” Saeyoung stated, pacing back and forth in front of a whiteboard. He rapped a pointer against the word, written in bright red letters and underlined three times. “That is what the goal is, gentlemen.”

“I am definitely not a part of this,” Vanderwood called out from the kitchen. The sound of sizzling meat and the warm scent of spices drifted into the living room and Saeran pinched himself.

The smell remained. He inhaled deeply. There was something unbelievable about it all, about Vanderwood coming in every day to cook. To clean. To make beds and do all of the other things that Saeran had read about in the rare book Saeyoung used to sneak into their bedroom. And all of this was just for them, for a pair of people who shouldn’t have existed.

There was a part of him that was sure he was still trapped in a dark room, dreaming about a happy future, but his brother was here. Vanderwood was here. MC was here and Saeran’s imagination had never been good enough to conjure up kind people like her.

“Vanderwood will—” Saeyoung continued, as though he hadn’t heard anything.

Not having any of it, Vanderwood yelled louder, “Once this is done, I’m leaving!”

“You are the linchpin to the plan!” Saeyoung retorted, disregarding his friend’s(? Saeran wasn’t really clear on their relationship) wishes as usual. Dressed in a military uniform, his brother looked prepared for war. He glared at a picture of MC stuck to the whiteboard. “This is the only way we’re taking her down.”

It sounded very serious and Saeran swallowed. Saeyoung looked ready to fight. Timidly, he raised his hand.

Saeyoung pointed at him. “Yes, private?”

Private. That sounded even worse. “Will this hurt MC?”

His brother’s eyes widened. Setting down his pointer, he shook his head slowly. “No, we won’t hurt her.”

“Good.” Sighing with relief, Saeran relaxed. MC was his friend, another word he had never dreamed of using before. MC was his friend and he didn’t want his brother and his friend to be at crosshairs with one another.

“We’re just going to crush the pranking spirit out of her.” The pointer was back in his hand, and with it, Saeyoung’s military voice. Using magnets, he stuck several more pictures onto the whiteboard. One of his beloved gaming chair, dyed a neon green. Another of Vanderwood’s face, covered in drawings. Each picture was more embarrassing than the last and Saeyoung banged his hand against the wall. “The chicken nugget incident. The waterbed assassination. We have suffered too many defeats, men. Far too many. And while I have avenged each one, this cannot continue.”

He pulled off his hat, revealing a terrible dye job that made his hair a nauseating yellow. Gripping his hat tightly, he closed his eyes shamefully. “This prank is the final straw. We shall destroy MC so badly, she shall never prank in this house again.”

Turning back to the whiteboard, he rested a hand on the top of it. “And for this, I have devised the world’s, nay, the universe’s greatest prank.” Deftly, he flipped the board. “I call this the—”

Saeyoung stared at the board. Saeran stared at the board. And while he couldn’t be certain about it, he was certain Vanderwood had poked his head out to stare at it as well.

Whatever plans Saeyoung had made were gone. In their place, MC had drawn herself in red, her fingers in a V shape as she grinned victoriously.

-x-

MC’s head lolled, her body sinking into the plush couch. Saeyoung rolled his eyes as his friend swayed left and right, her eyes struggling to stay open as she lost the battle against sleep. “And you picked the movie,” he grumbled half-heartedly, already moving the chip bowl away from her before she could spill it. Saeran had the popcorn bowl, so at least that was safe.

“I…can…watch…” she mumbled, blinking furiously as she tried to watch Back to the Future.

Or was it Back to the Future II? To be perfectly honest, Saeyoung wasn’t sure just where they were in the marathon right now. Not that it really mattered, this rewatch wasn’t so much for him but for Saeran, the next step in a slow effort to get him up to speed on pop culture.

“Just sleep,” Saeyoung sighed, glancing at Saeran. Completely hooked on the movie, his brother watched the screen with rapt attention. The popcorn remained untouched and Saeyoung wasn’t sure if his brother hated it or if he didn’t realize that it was okay, that he could eat it.

Almost all of their interactions were like that, a vein of uncertainty of intentions and understanding. Turning to MC, he whispered, “Could you—”

He didn’t bother to finish the question. MC was fast asleep now, softly snoring as she leaned back into the couch. A small dribble of drool escaped the side of her mouth and Saeyoung tried not to laugh. Oh, this would be the perfect picture.

A perfect revenge.

-x-

“Saeran?” Shielding his eyes from the sun, Saeyoung winced as he stepped outside. Damn, it was bright outside. And hot too. The air felt stuffy and humid and he missed the dry aftertaste his air conditioner gave him. Even if MC and Vanderwood complained about it, it was far better than this heat.

Padding down the stone path to the backyard, Saeyoung guessed his brother was on their side of the argument as he found Saeran more often outside than in. It was a good thing. After all those years of darkness, it was a good thing. Just as MC’s suggestion to garden was also a good one. Saeyoung stopped walking once he spotted Saeran watering the flowers. His brother really liked them, especially the roses. As usual, he was quietly talking to the plants as he tended them and Saeyoung wondered what he was saying.

Good things? Bad things? Did he like living here with his brother? Hate it? Almost all of their interactions had this level of awkwardness in them, two people learning to live together once again. It was a discovery of likes and dislikes, of habits and personalities. Of the space between them. It was easier when MC was with them, helping them navigate the waters.

It was harder when it was like now, just the two of them. The gap between them felt obvious in the sunlight. Saeyoung took a hesitant step forward. By now, the garden felt like Saeran’s private place, the flowers mostly maintained by him. Just walking in the backyard felt like an intrusion.

Spotting him, Saeran stopped watering. “Saeyoung?”

It was strange. They were mirror images of one another, at one time. Even now, with Saeran’s hair colour back to normal, they still looked almost the same. But there were differences—Saeran’s face was leaner, sharper, and no matter how much he ate, his skin clung to his bones. Clearing his throat, Saeyoung smiled. “The flowers look good.”

“Thank you.” Saeran ducked his head bashfully, a reddish tint to his ears.

“No problem.” He could just hit his head against the wall—what was with that stiff, formal response?

With nothing to add, Saeran returned to watering and silence fell between them. For once, Saeyoung couldn’t think of a single joke, a single jest to lighten the mood. Quietly, he walked up to his brother, coming to a stop next to the roses. “You like them, right?”

“Yeah.” Saeran looked at him. His eyes darted to the roses, then back to him. Lowering his lids, he bit his lip before mumbling, “You’re kinda like a rose.”

“A rose?” Flattered, Saeyoung loosened his collar and ran a hand through his hair. Posing, he winked. “I am beautiful.”

“No, not that,” Saeran interrupted, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “You’re…you’re both thorny.”

“…huh?” Was that an insult? Did his brother hate living here, and this was his passive-aggressive way of telling him? Saeyoung’s jaw fell slack, not sure how to respond.

“Er—ummm…” Saeran clutched the watering can tightly, his nervous smile turning into a panicked one. His words came out in a rush. “That was a joke. Did I do it wrong?”

“A joke?” Saeyoung blinked blankly at his brother. Saeran had made a joke about him. A terrible one, but a joke nonetheless. Laughter bubbled up inside him and he collapsed to his knees.

Saeran crouched net to him, freaking out. “Are you okay? Vanderwood said to try—I’m sorry—”

Before his brother could go off on a tangent, he interrupted him. “Good one.” Taking a deep breath, Saeyoung calmed down. He slung an arm around his brother, hugging them tight. Maybe they were still learning to connect, but they were getting there. They were going to be okay. “Really funny.”

Above them was a bright blue sky and he remembered those early days when they used to watch the clouds, dreaming of ice cream and warm families. A dream that had come true, in a fashion. They had the RFA, they had Vanderwood, they had MC. A family of their own. Sitting down, he chuckled. “Now I gotta watch out for your pranks, huh?”

Caught, Saeran turned red and Saeyoung grinned.

#mystic messenger #707 #luciel choi #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #mc #I would have posted this earlier #but I forgot about it since the discord got deleted too #whoops #fanfic

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stoopsbookstore · 5 years

Text

Kinktober Day 6 (10/06/2019)

Kinks - Pecattiphilia (fetish for sinning and breaking religious rules) & Exhibitionism (fetish for performing sexual acts or being naked in front of others)

Warning - Minor Character Death, Blood warning, Part 3 of the Demon!Taeil series

"I think I've been possessed."

Taeil looked at the gentleman in front of him, his body drenched in sweat as pain overcome his body like lava was in his veins.

"I'm in so much pain being in here right now, but I figured it was worth the agony if I was about to talk to you," Taeil keeled over, his face unseen by the pastor, who showed sympathy from Taeil by placing his hand on the young male's shoulder.

"Dear son, you'll need to be exorcised, cleanse yourself, but we must make sure," the pastor removed his hand from Taeil, walking over to a small ornate bowl holding some holy water.

The pastor filled up a cup with the special liquid, turning to Taeil not on the front row, an empty church presenting itself to the godly man.

"Son? Are you still there?" An echo in the spacious area, a tap on the pastor's shoulder startling him, spinning around to a red-eyed Taeil and a slit throat.

"You poor, naive bastard. Believing every sad soul you see, you can save," Taeil licked the blood off his knife, tucking back in his pocket, all the lights in the church going out.

Taeil took his phone out of his pocket, texting Y/N, asking to facetime. His eyes going back to normal, the line rang three times until Taeil was met with Y/N's voice.

"Hey you, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just walking around town. I found this cool church, would you like to meet me here?"

"Is this going to be another late night haunted house situation where all the other guys come and Chenle almost gets his foot cut off?"

"I was thinking more of a 'fuck you on the preacher stand' if that's okay with you," Taeil flashed his signature smile, Y/N's laughter heard from the speaker, "it's been a month since we last slept together."

"And? That is breaking like every sin in the bible."

"Good."

"Can't you just come over?"

"What's fun about missionary in a bed? Isn't Rena home?"

Y/N sighed. Taeil was right, her roommate was home and they couldn't do much with her there and interrupting them.

"Just send me your address and I'll be there as soon as I can."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later, Y/N met Taeil, her purposely short and low-cut dress was covered by a cardigan, Taeil whispering as he walked up to her.

"Hey miss," Taeil circled Y/N, his hand playing with the hem of her skirt, "could you tell me where my friend is? She's beautiful, her body is amazing and her mouth is to die for."

Y/N playfully shoved Taeil, "I could ask the same about you, Mr. Insatiable Sex Drive."

"What can I say?" Taeil grabbed Y/N's arm, pulling her to the preacher's stand, the only light source dim candles around them, "you awakened something inside me."

Taeil sat on the stool behind the podium, palming at his pants, keeping track of Y/N walking, staring at the candles and admiring the stained glass artwork.

"I've always thought stained glass were beautiful pieces, they're stunning in the morning."

"I think I'm looking at the most beautiful piece right now," Taeil signaled for Y/N to come over to him, the girl walking over him, gliding her hands over the prominent bulge.

"Oh yeah?" Y/N leans in for a kiss, Taeil happily obligating, "tell me more."

"Her eyes are the brightest you've ever seen. The color memorizing," Taeil stood up, switching spots with Y/N.

"Her skin, flawless no matter what tries to ruin it," Taeil took Y/N's cardigan, throwing it on one of the pews, moving the straps of the dress to trace his lips down her shoulders.

"Open or closed, her smile puts all the models and Instagram whores in the world to shame," his voice going deeper, Taeil's hands cupping Y/N's breasts, "look out to the pews. Imagine all of the seats filled, all of those Jesus heads staring at the sinful display, my cock in you."

"Oh my God, Taeil, keep going," Y/N shut her eyes, Taeil reaching between her legs with one of his hands, his eyes going red.

"Let me move this podium, princess, show all of our friends," Taeil took his hands away, moving the obstruction, Y/N opening her eyes, seeing some of Taeil's friends sitting in the pews.

"Is tha-" Y/N's words were cut off by Taeil, kneeling in front of her, burying his face into her panties.

"Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Jaehyun, Kun, Ten, even a few of your friends, Joshua, Jun, Seonghwa and finally, that pest, Yuta. Always all over you," Taeil started to eat Y/N out through the fabric, nipping and licking the barrier, "I know how much you love having an audience."

Taeil took off his shirt, revealing a dried pentagram he drew using the blood of the pastor, guiding Y/N to the center of the pastor stand.

"Y/N, lay down," Taeil gently commanded her, his seductress jokingly getting on all fours, wiggling her ass while turning to get on her back, Taeil spanking her, "beautiful, naughty goddess, all mine. I changed my mind, don't lay down, get up on your knees."

Y/N felt Taeil unzipping her dress, helping her to her knees, Y/N shimmying out of the dress, leaving her in her bra and panties in front of the crowd.

"You love the thrill of being watched, in the house of God," Taeil growled in Y/N's ear, Y/N moaning as the people in the pews started feeling their pants grow uncomfortable, "they're all aware, they even came willingly. Would you believe people are actually attracted to the dark, the taboo, the unusual?"

Y/N listened to Taeil whisper in her ears, Taeil smearing a liquid on her stomach, his clean hand making its way up to Y/N's neck.

"I know you know I'm not a human anymore, Y/N and yet you stay," Taeil's hand tightened on Y/N's neck, "is it the danger of knowing what I'm capable of?"

Y/N shook her head, the wetness in her panties getting uncomfortable, tubbing her thighs together in a vain attempt to satisfy a little bit of the discomfort, Taeil spreading her legs apart.

"What is that then," Taeil pulled Y/N closer to him, his chest fully flushed to her back, his pants at his ankles as he rubbed his cock inbetween Y/N's thighs, "is it the power that I have? The protection of having a demon on your side?"

Y/N sighed in content as Taeil found his answer.

"I'll always be here for you, my princess," Taeil turned Y/N's face to kiss her, "I won't ever leave. How long have you known?"

"Last time we were together, at the club," Y/N dreamily smiled, thinking about the moment, "when you shot that one guy, he was clearly a demon. Something had to have happened to you, you normally would've tried to talk the guy down before even thinking about harming him."

Y/N reached behind her to put her arm around Taeil's neck, the demon making some sort of noise in acknowledgement.

"So a month. When were you going to tell me?" Taeil began to prep Y/N, his fingers penetrating her as her squeal filled the church, half of the audience staring while the other had started to play with themselves.

"I was waiting for you to tell me," Y/N giggled, Taeil, in a rare soft moment, nuzzling into her neck, "it was your secret, you would've shared it with me when you felt comfortable."

Taeil finally pushed into Y/N, a lengthy groan coming out of him and out of Y/N, a high-pitched moan.

"You always feel so good, whether it's my fingers or cock," Taeil begun to hump Y/N, thrusting at an angle that drove her insane right away, "the best I've ever had in 25 years."

Y/N looked out the pews, all of the boys now masturbating as Taeil fucked her, Johnny focused on pumping his cock, Kun watching Taeil's thrusts go in and out of Y/N, Ten arched up into his hand.

"Fuck, Il-ie," Y/N dugged her nails into Taeil's thighs, an intense feeling going through her, "keep going, push me as far as you can."

Taeil grunted, pulling out of her as she quietly whimpered at the loss. Taeil kicked off his pants and disappeared, leaving Y/N alone in front of their 'fans.'

Taeil came back after a few minutes, blood coating his arms as he brought out the pastor he killed earlier.

"You want me to go rough, Y/N?" Taeil looked at Y/N, her reaction indiscernible as he gently angled her chin up, "If you don't want me to do so, tell me now. I don't want you to regret anything past this point."

Y/N eyed the corpse, the shock of seeing Taeil covered in blood, the pentagram now dripping, wearing off as she stood up, unclipping her bra and dropping it to the side. Walking to Taeil, she gave him a sensitive kiss.

"Do whatever you want."

Taeil's eyes went full blood red, the pupils gone as he picked Y/N up like a feather, kissing her breasts and using the blood to draw a circle on her chest.

"This is your last chance, princess," Taeil asked a final time, Y/N's arms limp around his shoulders, looking for sign of hesitation, "will you be okay?"

"Yes."

Taeil finished the pentagram, an upside down star, as Y/N felt a sense of protection over her body. Taeil again penetrated Y/N, the boys in the crowd watching as Taeil begun to bounce Y/N in his arms, her ass on full display.

"No one will ever fuck with you again," Taeil began to chant, keeping his face in Y/N's breasts, singing praising of her as her moans became squeals and screams, the members of the audience starting to make a mess of themselves, Yuta being the first to orgasm, "I'm gonna make your mine."

"Taeil, make me yours, I'm all yours," Y/N whispered in the demon's ear, her hand tagging at his hair, "I don't want to be with anyone else other than you."

"You're stuck with me," a breathy laugh coming from Taeil, "we belong to each other now."

Y/N's eyes were shut again, her orgasm erupting from her as Taeil continued his dirty talk.

"All mine, no one else's," Taeil came in Y/N, the white liquid making its way out of her princess, the pair catching their breaths, Y/N's head resting on Taeil's shoulder, both sweaty and bloody.

A few moments passed, Taeil still holding Y/N, gently rubbing her back as those who were in the seats of the church were all asleep now. Taeil waved his hand, the boys fully clothed and cleaned as they woke up and walked out of the glass door, the boys having a vauge idea what happened. Taeil's cock still inside her, cum dripping onto the floor, he clenched his hand, opening it to reveal a box, Y/N's eyes widening at the surprise.

"Will you be my queen?"

#taeil #moon taeil #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct #nct 127 #nct au #kinktober #moon moon #demon!taeil #my writings

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jacksonswangsauce · 5 years

Text

Friends to Lovers(m)

Johnny Seo x Y/n

What happens when your best friend confesses he’s loved you since day one?

Genre: Smut with slight fluff

You had seen it coming.

The sudden business, the coming home late and the undeniable drifting apart.

You had tried, you tried your hardest to keep the relationship going but there was nothing left to save.

This was to be expected.

You came home from the store and there she was, on your living room couch. Your replacement, moaning under your boyfriend as if she had the right.

"What the hell?!" You yell, causing them to scramble off of the couch and try to find some coverage.

"Y/N! I-"

"¡Cállate pendeja! I don’t want to hear it." You sass, waving your hand at Carlos.

"Take your little puta and get out of my house, we’re done!" You exclaim, placing your hands on your hips. Watching as they awkwardly put the rest of their clothes on.

Yes, feel the shame! You thought, as Carlos couldn’t even look you in the eyes.

"I loved you Y/N..I’m really sorry-" He attempted to apologize.

But you roughly grabbed his collar and yanked him to your disgusted face.

"Shut the f**k up with the lies Carlos. I’m so sick of your bullshit! Don’t you ever come back here. I never want to see your dumbass again!" You snarl and push him away from you.

You always could scare the shit out of him and your mean face worked every time.

"Little bitch!" You spat as they practically ran out the front door.

Once you were finally alone, it all crashed into you like a tidal wave and you found yourself sobbing in the corner of your kitchen.

You cried and cried but not because everything was over between you and Carlos. They were tears hot with anger and hate. You cried because he actually chose someone else over you. He threw away a whole year and a half for some chick that was an obvious downgrade.

It hurt you to feel as if you weren’t enough. You hated feeling unwanted and alone.

After about two hours of feeling sorry for yourself and angry at your ex, you decide to be productive and get your money out of this.

Your Mamá always told you to "keep the jewelry" but you couldn’t stand looking at the gold chain he’d bought for you.

So you take it to a jewelry store and sell it for $1,000. The one thing he was good at was giving you expensive gifts. Thankfully it comes in handy and you are already feeling better about the breakup.

Once back home, you find yourself reminiscing about all the good times you used to have and it brings back all your emotions again.

So to take your mind off things, you decide to call up your best friend for a night out.

"Hey Y/N!" He picks up after the first ring.

"Johnny hey..listen umm Carlos cheated on me." You sigh into the receiver, feeling your lip quiver. Realizing the effect of saying it out loud.

"What?! That mother f**ker! How dare he! I’ll be right over don’t you worry-" He exclaims but you cut him off.

"No that’s okay, I just wanted to see if you want to go clubbing with me tonight? I really need to get my mind off things." You run a hand through your hair.

"I gotchu’ babygirl, what time should I pick you up?" He asks.

You chuckle at the nickname. "10pm?" You suggest.

"Okay, see you then!" He exclaims, before hanging up.

You smile at your phone screen and make your way to the bathroom to get your glow up on!

After a few hours, you were ready!

You wear a tight red dress with spaghetti straps that just barley covers your thicc ass. It has gray Eastern dragons all over it.

You always thought they were so cool!

For accessories you wear long diamond earrings that almost touch your shoulder and a diamond layered choker. For shoes, sparkly silver pumps.

And of course, your makeup is done to perfection. Winged liner to compliment your slanted eyes, plump red lips, bronze contour to shape your high cheek bones and arched brows for your sassy signature attitude.

Just then the doorbell rings.

"He’s here!" You say excitedly and strut over and open the door.

"Hey Y/N.." He says in a low voice, trying to be seductive.

You both laugh at his playfulness and he finds himself looking you up and down. Noting how absolutely sexy you look tonight.

"Let’s go." He smiles, holding his arm out for you.

Wow..he looks amazing! You think to yourself, checking out his club outfit. He’s wearing tight black skinny jeans, a leather jacket and a snug fitting, white T-shirt. His hair is styled to perfection and you notice his eyes are lined softly with eyeliner.

You smile back and take his arm, letting him lead you to his chic white Hyundai.

Once at the club you immediately get on the dance floor.

You could always get drunk on music, it was your one escape from the world and it affected you more than alcohol.

Johnny knows this, he knows everything about you. You guys have been friends long before you even dated Carlos.

Johnny has always had feelings for you, since the day he met you, he’s always been infatuated by your beauty and easy going personality. But he’s never had the guts to confess to you.

So Johnny makes himself comfortable at the bar and watches you having a good time hoeing around. He‘s sipping a margarita, one of the only drinks you would get, and wishing it was him you were grinding on out there.

You have the attention of all the guys on the dance floor. From your sexy outfit to model-like physic, you are every guys dream!

Johnny is getting more jealous by the minute. So he finally decides to butt in.

"Excuse me.." He says, shoving one of the guys away.

"Johnny!" You whine but he just grabs your wrist and pulls you against him.

"Is this how you treat your date Y/N?" He asks cocking his head and placing his other hand on your lower back.

"No!" You roll your eyes. "I just wanted to dance, geez! But you were over there drinking so I mean..that’s on you." You shrug, beginning to move your hips to the rhythm.

"Okay, sassy pants!" He exclaims, as you start grinding against him. Secretly loving your attitude. It was so attractive and it turned was turning him on.

He bites his lip and turns you around, grinding hard against your ass.

Then the club plays your favorite reggaetón song and you and Johnny lose it.

You taught him how to dance this Latin rhythm and together, you slayed it. Rubbing against his leg that was in between yours. His hips rocking to the music and guiding you with his hands.

Dancing together was something you and Johnny had perfected over the years. It was one of the many talents you shared and loved to show off when together.

You and Johnny dance for another hour and decide to take a break in the lounge area.

It’s empty except for the two of you.

He plops down on a couch and you join him, downing a bottle of cool water.

"Want a sip?" You ask, holding it out to him.

He nods gratefully and takes a few gulps.

"Thanks.." He says breathlessly, wiping his mouth.

"Ya know..that was an indirect kiss." He smirks, nudging you with his shoulder.

You roll your eyes and chuckle. "Johnny you’re too much."

"Maybe.." He chuckles. "How are you feeling though Y/N?" He asks, eyes filled with concern. "You okay..?"

"Yeah I’m fine." You smile. "I don’t even care anymore, he obviously wasn’t the one.." You shrug and finish the bottle of water.

Johnny lets out a sigh of relief. He was so glad you were over it already. He hated when you were feeling any ounce of pain, emotionally and physically.

"Y/N..I-I need to tell you something..." He says, suddenly.

This is my chance to finally let you know how I feel tonight... He thinks to himself.

You turn your body towards him.

"What is it?" You ask, curiosity flooding your mind as he takes a deep breath and nervously plays with his shirt cuffs.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, concerned by his sudden loss of confidence.

Johnny was always confident and playful but now, he couldn’t even meet your eyes. Something was up!

"Johnny..you can tell me..." You almost whisper, even though you guys are alone.

He finally meets your eyes and takes your warm hands in his.

"Y/N..I.." His eyelids flutter at your breathtaking face, now so dangerously close to his.

"I’m in love with you!" He blurts out, squeezing your hands tight as he says it.

Finally, out loud and into the universe.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Never in a million years did you think that Johnny Seo was even interested in you that way!

Your mind jumbles with so many thoughts and you can’t even think of a response.

"I’m sorry..I shouldn’t have said anything. God, I always ruin everything!" He immediatley regrets his decision and turns his head away in embarrassment.

But you reach out and turn it back to face you.

You meet his sparkly brown eyes, realizing the truth of his words were always hidden deep inside those beautiful eyes. The eyes you’d been looking into for 7 years, had always been telling you the same thing.

And finally, the truth had been revealed.

"Johnny.." Your eyes trail down to his plump lips and he follows his gaze to yours.

You pull him into a kiss and immediatley everything becomes clear.

"I love you too!" You smile, pulling away to meet his eyes again.

He grins in relief. "I’ve always wanted to do that with you.." He sighs, reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ear.

You sigh as he gently caresses your face.

"I was just too afraid we’d ruin our friendship so I kept my feelings inside." He explains. "I didn’t want to lose what we already had.."

"I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize this." Your apologetic eyes say it all.

"Y/N.." He sighs, kissing you again, a little deeper this time.

Johnny couldn’t be happier that you said you loved him too! He couldn’t contain his excitement as he kissed you hungrily. He’d always dreamed of this moment and now it was finally coming true.

"It’s always been you! I was never in love with those other guys. I was in love with you..it was you..." He kisses you inbetween your breathless words, hands trailing the sides of your body.

You run your hands through his thick locks and he melts against your touch. "I’m sorry Johnny..I’m sorry.." You mumble into his mouth.

"Shh Y/N..it’s okay." He hushes you, brushing the hair out of your face to look at you.

"The fact that you’re here with me right now, saying you love me...is more than enough." He says, tenderly gazing into your eyes.

"I do..I love you Johnny." You smile, softly kissing his lips.

Between the passion, pent up frustration and desire, things begin to heat up quickly!

"Are you sure about this?" You ask, as he places you on his lap.

"Lines exist, only to be crossed Y/N..." He licks his lips sensually and you feel your heat throbbing with anticipation.

He was so unbelievabley charming and sexy. From his gorgeous face to long legs and toned body, you were melting in his arms.

"I’d be lying if I said I never imagined this moment." You admit, looking up at him with your bedroom eyes.

He watches as you slide off the straps of your dress and pull it down to reveal your breasts.

His mouth waters at the sight.

"You just gonna’ sit there and watch?" You smirk, and lean a little closer to entice him.

He licks his lips and slides off his jacket.

"You’re so sexy Y/N!" He groans, pulling you into him. He massages your breasts and tongues it out in your mouth.

You never imagined his kisses could taste so good.

"F**k!" He gasps as you start grinding against his crotch.

"I-I want you.." You sigh, kissing his neck and leaving lipstick stains all over.

"Hold up.." He suddenly gets up and locks the lounge room door.

Then he turns to face you and practically rips off his shirt and pulls down his skinny jeans.

"F**k I’m so horny babe!" He mutters as he slides your dress off of you, along with your black lace thong.

He pauses for a moment, eyes gazing over your naked body.

"You’re..gorgeous!" He exclaims, admiring your gleaming caramel skin tone and hourglass figure. "So..sexy.." He says saucily, tracing his finger tips along your thicc thighs.

"Johnny just hurry up and f**k me already!" You whine, rubbing your legs together for some relief.

"Is that what you want?" He asks, hovering over you.

"You want to wrap your tight little p**sy around my cock? Let me f**k you so good you can’t stop saying my name?!" He grunts in your ear, palming his clothed member.

"Yes..oh please Johnny!" You throw your head back in frustration.

Hearing you beg for him with so much desperation was the sexiest thing ever!

Quickly, he pulls down his boxers. His very erect and pulsing dick, springs out, just dripping in pre cum.

You lick your lips at the sight.

"Like what you see princess?" He asks, spreading your legs as you lay back on the couch.

You seductively bite your lip and nod, earning a chuckle from Johnny.

"You ready babe?" He asks, lacing his fingers with yours.

"Hell yeah!" You exclaim, just as he finally enters you.

You close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling of him inside you.

He reaches down and kisses your lips ever so slowly, matching the pace of his gentle pumps.

He wants to cherish this sweet moment of having sex with you for the first time but also wants to f**k you senseless.

"Johnny..faster.." You whine, licking his bottom lip.

"Okay princess!" He exclaims, before bending your knees into his chest and pumping his dick all the way in.

"Oh..OH Johnny!" You moan, as he pickes up the pace, thrusting faster.

"Ohhh yeah.." He moans, eyes rolling back as you clench around him.

"John-n-y!" You grip the sides of the couch.

"That’s it baby, say my name!" He groans, holding your knees for support.

"Forget..all the-OTHER.. mmph guys babe." He pants, thrusting faster and faster.

"Who f**ks you like this huh? Who makes you feel this good?!" He grunts, pumping with all his strength.

"Johnnyyy!" You yell, digging your nails into his sweaty shoulders.

The sounds of skin slapping echo against the walls as he continues to slam into you.

"Ohhh...yes Johnny. Right there!" He angles himself to hit your g-spot and it feels amazing!

"Oh baby! You like that? You like how I f**k you so hard? Make you cum all over my dick?!" He’s shouting as his pace is animalistic, rocking the couch underneath you.

You’re a moaning mess, feeling your climax nearing.

"I’m gonna fill you up! Pump you full with my cum.." He feels his balls quaking, about to release any second.

"Uhhhh Y/N!" One last thrust and he’s shooting his load into you. Orgasming and shuddering with pleasure.

As he milks his orgasm, you feel yourself on the verge of climaxing.

"Johnny..I’m gonna'-"

"Do it baby! Cum on my dick you gorgeous sex queen!" He kisses your shoulder and rubs your breasts as you realease all over his cock.

"Ohhhh.." You close your eyes and see stars as you twitch and orgasm underneath him.

Johnny is still kissing and sucking on your neck and breasts, unable to get enough of you!

"Johnny.." You sigh, opening your eyes to see this beautiful man before you.

"Y/N.." He smiles at you lovingly and gives you a peck on the lips. Then another and another!

"God I love you!" He exclaims, holding you tight in his arms, not wanting the moment to be over.

He loved the feeling of your hot and naked bodies intertwined and connected with each other.

But you both knew you couldn’t stay in this club forever! So Johnny sat up and his dick pulled out with a pop.

You gasped at the sudden lack of warmth and shivered.

Johnny quickly grabbed your clothes and handed them to you, not wanting you to be cold.

"Thank you!" You smile gratefully, pulling on your dress and thong.

"Of course babe!" He winks, stepping into his boxers. His love muscle put away until the next time.

You stand up and step into your glittery heals and check your makeup as Johnny continues to dress.

Everything stayed on surprisingly! Except for your red lipstick, which was very faded.

You glide on some more color and fix your hair.

"Ready?" He asks, holding his hand out for you.

"Yes!" You smile, taking it and letting him lead you through the crowd and out into the night.

You feel a blast of cold right as you walk out of the club, causing you to shiver.

Johnny quickly takes off his leather jacket and drapes it across your narrow shoulders.

He places an arm around you and holds you against his side for warmth as you walk to his car.

"That dress is really nice Y/N but you’re gonna catch a cold!" He exclaims, opening the car door for you.

"I have your jacket! I’ll be fine." You smile, before he shuts the door.

"Johnny..?" You call, as he starts up the car and turns on the heat.

"Hmm?" He hums, messing with the radio.

"Can I stay at your place tonight? I wanna stay with you." You admit, playing with the hem of your dress.

"Of course babe! You’re always welcome at my house." He grins and kisses your cold hand.

"God your hands are freezing!" He exclaims, rubbing your hand with his.

"I’m fine, as long as I’m with you." You smile, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

You immediatley fall asleep from exhaustion and Johnny just smiles at you.

He still can’t believe how perfect this night has been!

As he drives to his house, he holds your soft hand in his, steeling glances at your sleeping figure a few times.

At his house...

Johnny gets out of the car and opens your door. He kisses your cheek, waking you up.

"Y/n..we’re here." He says softly.

You smile, tiredly and get out of the car. You’re a little wobbly considering your heels, exhaustion and the mind blowing sex you just had.

"Careful-" He warns, holding you up as you walk to the door.

As he unlocks it, you rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, feeling as if you could fall asleep right there at his front door.

Johnny chuckles lightly and picks you up, bridal style, and carries you into his house.

After shutting the door with his foot, he brings you into his bedroom and lays you down on his bed.

He gazes lovingly at you for a moment, admiring your peaceful face as you’re falling asleep.

Gently, he removes your high heels and places them on the floor. Then he carefully takes off your jewlerey, so you don’t ruin them, and places them on the night stand next to you.

He then pulls the blankets over you and tucks you in tightly, making sure you are nice and warm.

He quietly tip toes into the bathroom and comes back with a pack of makeup wipes. He knew better than to let you sleep with your makeup on. And he’s already seen you without it hundreds of times so he knew you were comfortable with it.

So he gently wipes off your makeup with peach infused extract for a nice clean glow.

He smiles to himself, thinking you look so pretty in his bed, with your gorgeous bare face.

He throws the wipes away and decides to join you.

Stripping off his clothes, except for a fresh pair of undies, he climbs into the soft bed with you.

You stir at the sudden movement and turn over to him.

Once under the covers, he finds your hand and holds it tight before falling into a deep sleep.

In the morning...

You open your eyes to find Johnny’s beautiful face only a few inches from yours.

You smile and ever so lightly, touch his cheeks. Then you softly trace your finger over his nose. You let it graze over his eyebrows and down his face to his sharp chin.

His eyes flutter open and he smiles once he sees you.

"Y/N.." He says, in his raspy morning voice.

You giggle and scoot closer to him as he kisses your forehead.

"Did you sleep well gorgeous?" He asks, stroking you head thoughtfully.

You nod. "The best sleep I’ve had in a while!"

"Good.." He grins, pulling you into his arms.

You kiss his bare chest and rest your face in it, loving the warmth against you.

He holds you in his arms and cuddles you for a while.

Then you shift positions and accidentally brush against his crotch, more than once!

He tries not to think about it. But as you continue to rub on him, he can’t help feeling horny after a while

"Y/N.." He grunts, as you shift again.

"Hmm?" You hum, looking at his face.

"I’m getting really horny babe!" He groans, reaching down to massage his dick.

"So am I!" You giggle, earning a surprised laugh from Johnny.

"Did you do that on purpose?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.

You nod your head, giving him a sly look.

"Come here.." He says, pulling you into a kiss.

You part your mouth and let him shove his hot tongue inside, letting it dance around with yours. He places his leg around you and starts grinding his hips into your crotch.

You let out a soft moan and kiss him harder, sucking and pulling at his lower lip.

"Mmm babe.." He moans against your mouth.

Then he sits up and you straddle his lap.

"Hurry..take off your dress! I want to see you naked." He says excitedly, pulling off his undies as you strip off your own clothes.

You grin sexily, toss it aside and wrap your body around Johnny. Wanting him to feel your breasts rubbing against his chest.

"Oh Y/N.." He moans, rubbing his shaft under you and feeling the pre cum leaking out of his tip.

You reach down and massage his balls in your hand, causing him to twitch and moan for you.

"Y/N..uhh"

He kisses your jaw line and down your neck as you pump his dick in your hand. He pants and thrusts into your hand, so desperate for a release.

"Don’t tease..babe.." He pants, wanting his dick inside you already!

You kiss his lips and then angle yourself at his tip. He holds his breath and watches intently as you slide down on him.

"Ohhhhhh!" He lets out a glorious moan, throwing his head back.

You hold onto his shoulders for support as you start going up and down on his dick.

"Oh baby.." He starts thrusting up and quickens the pace, earning a moan from you.

His delicious cock filling you up and making you feel so good.

"Johnny..uhhh." You pant as he takes your left breast in his mouth, licking your nipple as he pumps his dick harder.

He’s licking and sucking in time with his thrusts, making you bounce up and down.

He loves your f**ked out expression as you near your release.

"C’mon babe..cum for me! Cum for Johnny!" He grips your ass and squeezes you tight, pumping and thrusting as fast as he can.

He’s grunting and moaning, trying to make you cum for him.

"Say my name princess! OH- hurry!" He moans, reaching his climax as well.

"Johnny..ohhh!" You’re almost there! One last pump and..

"F**k-JOHNNYYYYY!" You let out a yell as you orgasm and cum on his dick.

"That’s right baby..oooo-" He feels himself about to cum.

"Oh Y/N..Ohhh Y/N! I’m gonna-a-" He grunts and pants, thrusting fast and sloppy.

"Uhh-h..ssss...Uhhhhhhhhh!"

Johnny releases his load into you, some of it drips out because of your position.

He rides out his orgasm and looks at you, trying to catch his breath.

You kiss his parted lips and pull yourself off his dick, letting his cum slide down your caramel thighs.

"Oh f**k Y/N, that’s hot!" He says, looking at you with hooded eyes.

Your eyes never leave his as you wipe a little with your finger and bring it you your mouth; pumping and sucking on it seductively.

Johnny is in awe, feeling himself getting hard again.

Quickly, he yanks your hand out of your mouth.

"Stop Y/N!" He laughs. "Or we’re never going to leave this bed!" He grips you wrist and you smirk at him.

"F**k, I love you so much!" He grins, kissing your cheek.

"I love you too Johnny Seo!" You smile then your stomach growls. "But I’m really hungry.." You pout cutely.

Johnny’s heart melts.

"Aww my princess is so adorable!" He coos, placing a hand over his heart. "Lets go make some breakfast." He exclaims, getting up.

"Pancakes?" He suggests, knowing they’re your favorite.

"Yeah!" You exclaim. "With chocolate chips and strawberries!" You jump up excitedly.

"Anything you want baby!" He laughs at your excitement and throws you a pair of pajamas to wear. He has a whole drawer full of your clothes from over the years. Which really comes in handy when you spend the night.

After you’re both in some comfy pajamas, you spend the morning cooking breakfast together.

And that’s how every morning went after that because Johnny wasted no time in asking you to marry him. He didn’t want anyone to snatch you away again and he knew he wanted to spend everyday of his life with you by his side.

Of course you said yes! He was the man of your dreams and you loved him with all of your heart.

So you guys got married ASAP and lived together in his beautiful house. Having the best sex, laughing the happiest laughs, cooking the best meals and cherishing every single moment together.

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