#i was so proud to see her really grow into herself on stage in a way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moamidzyism · 5 months

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the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)

summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.

or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.

wc. 14,444 words

genre. angst

tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl

a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.

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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.

it was the summer before third grade started.

it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.

so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.

you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.

the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.

and him.

the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.

you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.

at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.

she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.

you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.

“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.

“what?” you were slightly taken aback.

“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”

“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.

“i’m soobin.”

“how old are you?”

“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.

“why did you move here?”

“my dad got a job.”

“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”

“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.

“i can teach you.” you offered.

and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.

by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.

and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.

the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.

when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello.

“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.

“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.

“just okay?” you pressed.

“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.

“did you miss me?”

“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.

“did i say something funny?”

“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.

“we don’t know that.”

“oh, we do,”

he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.

“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.

“do you like your school?”

“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”

you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”

“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.

“i know, but still.”

“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”

“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.

“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.

but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.

the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.

the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.

the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.

the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.

when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.

“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.

“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.

“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.

you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”

“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”

“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”

“i meant it when i said i missed you.”

“i know.”

“are we good?”

he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”

you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.

“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.

“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.

and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.

the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.

“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.

“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.

“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school.

as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”

“yeah,” he affirmed.

with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.

“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.

your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.

“how?”

“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.

a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”

you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”

a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.

save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.

“me too. i’m y/n.”

“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.

“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”

should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.

“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.

meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.

“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”

“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.

soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.

“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”

“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”

you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.

and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.

being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.

even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.

after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.

“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”

“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.

yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”

“he’s such an asshole.”

“what did he do this time?”

you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”

“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”

“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.

“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.

“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.

“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”

you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.

to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help

from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need

to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me

from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it

to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?

that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.

as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.

you open the door to soobin.

“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”

his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”

“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”

“you’re in therapy?”

“yeah, since middle school.”

“oh.”

the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.

“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”

“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”

the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.

“you know what you’re doing?”

“what?”

“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.

“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.

to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.

“when’s your next test?”

“in two weeks, i think,”

“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.

as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.

from soob: test day! how are you feeling?

to soob: i think i’m going to throw up

from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!

you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.

finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.

“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.

after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.

“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.

“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”

“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”

that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.

“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”

“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.

“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.

“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”

“i taught you how to make friends?”

“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”

“hmm.”

“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.

“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.

while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.

“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.

soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.

“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.

“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.

“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”

“i don’t care. whatever you want.”

wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.

as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.

“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.

“we’ve seen it like a million times,”

“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.

after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”

your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”

“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.

“what?”

“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.

“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”

his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”

“soobin, it’s—”

“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”

“why not?”

“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”

“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”

“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”

“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”

“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”

“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”

“i don’t… i don’t know.”

“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”

you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.

“yeah.”

he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night.

your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.

the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.

“something happened last night.”

“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.

“well, not really.”

“not really? what happened?”

“he told me he liked me.”

yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.

“and he kissed my cheek.”

“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.

“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”

“don’t get your hopes up.”

“oh, no.”

“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”

“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”

“i just don��t want to do a long distance thing.”

“he lives right beside you.”

“and he’s moving away in seven months.”

“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”

“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.

“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.

she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.

“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.

“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”

with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.

the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.

“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.

“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.

you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.

he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.

“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”

a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”

he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”

you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”

“can i kiss you now?”

“yes,” you giggled.

he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.

the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.

you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”

“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile

“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.

“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.

as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.

“okay, we can go now.”

you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.

for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.

and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”

“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.

“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”

“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.

she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”

“no, she’s going with her parents.”

“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.

“that’s random.”

“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”

“i won’t. i promise.”

“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”

you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.

“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.

you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.

“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.

“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.

“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”

“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”

“what if i mess up?”

“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”

“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.

the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.

you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.

for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.

“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.

“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.

“because i had you there with me.”

“and your dad came.”

“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”

“at least he was there.”

“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”

“i need to tell you something.”

“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.

“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.

“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”

“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.

“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”

“that’s great but–”

“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”

“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.

“why?”

“we had so many plans.” you pouted

“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”

“yeah, you’re right.”

you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.

the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations.

“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”

soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”

“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.

“yeah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”

“what about soobin?”

“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”

“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”

“what?”

“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”

your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”

“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”

he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.

you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.

“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.

“yeah, it’s getting late.”

“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.

“yeah, i’m just super tired.”

“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”

“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.

you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.

maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.

“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.

you felt your heart sink.

you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”

“you think i should go?”

“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”

“okay,”

as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.

when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”

“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.

soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”

“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.

“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”

the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”

“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.

“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”

“where did that come from?”

“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”

“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”

“i’m being serious.”

“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.

you sighed. “i do, but–”

“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“so what’s up?”

“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.

“that’s not what i meant.”

“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”

you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.

“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.

“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”

“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.

“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.

“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”

“so, you want to break up?”

“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.

“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.

the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.

the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.

“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”

“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”

you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”

“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.

“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.

“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”

he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”

“and what if that’s not enough?”

his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”

“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”

“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.

with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.

to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.

later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door.

“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.

“hi,”

“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”

“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.

“really?”

he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”

“been better,” you confessed.

he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.

“so you wanted to talk?”

“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.

“for?”

“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”

“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.

“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.

“and where is that?”

“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.

soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”

“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.

“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.

“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.

“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.”

“is that so?”

“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”

“he was?”

“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”

“they do!”

“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.

“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”

“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”

“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.

“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”

“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.

“okay.”

he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.

when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.

soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.

“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”

“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.

“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.

“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.

“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”

“so?”

“so, that’s too far.”

“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”

“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”

“well, why not?”

“because, you’re here.” you admitted.

“so, you’re staying for me?”

“you don’t want me to?”

“no,”

“oh,”

“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”

“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”

his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”

“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”

“nothing’s going to change.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”

“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.

“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”

you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”

“no time like the present.”

five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.

as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.

your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.

your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.

you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.

at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.

as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.

yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.

as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”

as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.

you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.

you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.

for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.

but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.

this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.

as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.

his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.

growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.

a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.

some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.

“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.

“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.

or not.

“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.

“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”

“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.

awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.

as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.

soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.

you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.

gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.

soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation.

“are you sure?” soobin asked you.

you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.

“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.

leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.

the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.

“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.

“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”

you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”

“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”

the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door.

“yeah, maybe.”

“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.

you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”

“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.

“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.

the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.

one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.

you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.

another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.

you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.

then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.

“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.

with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.

“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.

the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.

as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.

but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”

“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.

he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”

“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”

he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.

he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”

you nodded in understanding.

“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“okay, i will.”

your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.

slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.

he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”

you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.

soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.

“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”

“top drawer,” you breathed out.

soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.

“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.

you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”

the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.

“f-fuck, you feel so good.”

he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.

“soobin?” you moaned out.

“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”

“i love you.”

he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.

every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.

he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.

his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.

soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face.

you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss

but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.

“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”

“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.

“what? she’s a guest.”

“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”

“i can’t leave her alone.”

“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.

“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.

“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”

“i’m not spending the night with her.”

“what’s so special about her?”

“what?”

“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”

“we spend time together.”

“yeah, with her always there.”

the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.

“she’s my friend and i care about her.”

“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.

“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”

“well what about me?”

“y/n, come on.”

“i told you i loved you.”

“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.

you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”

“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.

“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”

soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.

the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind.

putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.

you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.

the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.

you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?

his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.

other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.

“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.

“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.

"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.

"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."

returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.

“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.

“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”

and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.

between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.

spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.

as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.

"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.

your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.

"i wanted to talk to you."

"how did you find my address?"

"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."

you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.

“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.

he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”

you met his gaze without a word.

“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.

“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.

“i miss you.”

“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.

“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”

“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.

“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.

“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.

“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”

“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”

“i care about you. you know that.”

“do i?”

“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”

“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”

“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.

“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”

“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.

“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”

friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.

“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”

he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.

silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”

he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”

“i know.”

with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.

in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.

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eviesaurusrex · 11 months

Text

ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ | ʜ. ꜱᴛʏʟᴇꜱ

GIFs not mine!

Harry Styles x Wife!Reader

summary: Harry’s final show is over, and now the aftermath is hitting.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: crying, mentions of pregnancy (I couldn’t help it, sorry 👉🏻👈🏻), and dad-to-be!Harry, fluff, soft!reader, soft!Harry, more crying, just fluffness, not entirely proofread

author’s note: I only could watch parts of the livestream and saw videos on Twitter, and because I was so emotional over this, I had to write something. This is my first time writing in a while, so please bear with me, thaaaaanks

* * *

YN would have to lie if she told anybody her eyes were entirely dry over the course of his final show. No one would believe her anyway because the internet was full of evidence that she certainly had been crying—she had been a never-ending waterfall from the minute the intro had started, and Harry arrived on stage.

Maybe her hormones were already more chaotic and over the top than she had anticipated.

But seeing him falling to his knees, overwhelmed by all the emotions crashing down on him, seeing his loyal fans in numbers of thousands gathered to celebrate him and his last night on tour, also took her in. A moment after, she had found herself in the embraces of Anne and Gemma, all three women watching the man they loved so deeply and dearly doing what he loved the most while the venue cheered for him. It was an otherworldly moment, YN was sure of it. Her heart ached in astonishing proudness, in overwhelming love and devotion, but also in sympathy because the woman already knew how hard this was for Harry. He just loved his work just as much as he loved her. But she would be ready to catch him from falling and build him up again if he needed it.

Apparently, Harry’s goal tonight was to make this even more emotional than it already was, to ingrain it in her memory for all the years ahead of them, as he stood again and slowly, still in awe, walked back to the microphone stand, the Love Band in his back. YN only could wipe away the last fallen tears, her head resting against Anne’s shoulder, feeling Gemma’s head resting on hers, before Harry’s next words let new salty oceans well up in her already red eyes.

“This-this tour was the biggest adventure so far in my life, and-and I will be forever grateful for the experiences I was fortunate enough to have, thanks to all of you. I will never forget that. Never. But now—“ His still watery eyes searched through the crowds until he seemingly found her, a knowing smile stretching over his lips. “Now, I’ll aboard the grandest adventure of a lifetime, feeling prepared enough not to make a fool out of myself, for not letting this gorgeous, gorgeous woman—“ He pointed in her direction, and the fans screamed as some of them seemed to realize what he was telling them. “—down and disappoint her. You helped me to grow over the past two years, and becoming a dad isn’t so frightening anymore.” Now, everyone caught up to it, the venue boomed and buzzed with excitement, and YN couldn’t hold back the pent-up tears and the smile appearing on her face.

This really was a final show to behold.

“Thank you to all of you. I might be gone for a while, but I’ll come back with something magical. I promise. Stay true, stay wild, stay kind. Remember everything will be alright.”

* * *

It took almost two hours until YN saw Harry rounding the corner and walking toward her in their hotel room. She had already gotten ready for the night, had ordered dinner for them, and got the place as cozy as possible. They wouldn’t stay long here before finally heading to Harry’s Italian sanctuary, reveling in the endless amounts of free and uninterrupted time together, distressing from this incredible tour, and preparing everything for the new addition to their small family.

“Hey,” she whispered as Harry wordlessly sank to his knees in front of the bed, kneeling between her legs and resting his head against her chest. YN could hear him humming in contentment as her fingers started to card through his still-damp hair, not caring for the sweat clinging to him. “You were incredible. I am so, so proud.” She continued to whisper praise after praise, interrupted only by soft kisses to the top of Harry’s head until she felt his shoulders shake under her loving hands and the quiet sobs pressed out against her top. “Oh, baby…” Tightly, they held onto one another, feeling each other as closely as possible while he drenched her shirt in much-needed tears and never let go of her.

YN didn’t care a millisecond for her clothes and let him cry until the only sounds inside the hotel room were his heavy, shaky breaths and her soothing voice, whispering sweet nothings into his soft curls, against his forehead, his temple. She felt his strong hands on her back, his long fingers burying into the soft fabric of her shirt, which had been once his a long time ago. Not able to stop, YN continued to press kisses to every spot she could reach and gently guided him through the emotional turmoil of the aftermath as best as she could.

After some time, Harry inhaled deeply before a long, deep sigh released it again, his body now unmoving resting against hers, slowly relaxing in her embrace. In one moment, he was like warmed clay under her hands, molding perfectly against her, and in the next, his hands had wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her wordlessly into the adjacent bathroom, gently placing her on the bench next to the shower. YN knew he needed her close, even though he stepped under the warm water stream alone at first. Without so much as a second thought, she discarded the clothes, ignored the fact that she had already showered earlier, and stepped right behind him into the glass cabin.

Hands softly, lovingly, glided over his hips before arms wrapped themselves around it, a face pressed against his back, fingers slowly tracing every single dark inked line on warm skin. Featherlike kisses flew over his back, and she could hear him sigh again, still not saying a word, still contemplating the last hours. Another heavy, shaky inhale was the sign of the next set of tears, and now, he turned in her arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck, pulling her as closely as possible to hold onto something in the sea of overwhelming emotions.

“It’s okay, love. Let it out. I’m here,” YN could only mumble against his shoulder, feeling somewhat helpless and on the verge of crying herself while the hormones started to run havoc inside her once again. But she never had liked seeing him upset or even crying, to begin with, too empathetic not to be fazed by it. Most times, she had cried alongside him until they laughed under tears which had always changed the mood to something brighter. But now, YN felt it wasn’t her place to cry along, so she bottled it up, forcing the traitorous tears down and let her hand find his cheek to gently caress it with the pad of her thumb.

Harry mumbled something inaudible against her neck, grabbing her tighter than before. “Hm? What was that?” YN asked quietly, her words almost drowned by the still-running shower. “Don’t think I’m mourning this tour more than I want to spend time with you,” he repeated himself and pulled his head back to let their foreheads meet again. “My career isn’t more important than you. Or the family we’re starting.” Blinking stunned, YN softly furrowed her brows, slowly shaking her head. “I’d never think that,” she finally whispered, not sure where this came from all of a sudden. Her thumbs wiped away the remaining tears. “There wasn’t a single moment in the past eight years where I felt like a second choice. I never thought you prioritized your career over me. So… Never think that. Okay? We know we’re loved without measure, beyond compare, H.”

At that, Harry started to smile, eyes still watery, and placed one of his hands over the place where his second true love was safely growing. “Thank you, sunflower.” It was only a whisper, voice filled with wonder, as he looked down at the woman who had decided he was worthy enough for her love all those years ago and who had grown alongside him. And now she gifted him the most precious thing he could ever ask for: fatherhood with the woman he loved more than anything else at his side.

YN smiled up at him and let Harry kiss her softly. “Nothing to thank me for, love. It’s my job. I’ll always be here to catch you, just as I have always done.“ Mumbling against his lips, she couldn’t let go of him, but soon, she was wrapped in a fluffy towel, and Harry lovingly dried her hair, always watching her through the mirror above the sink with a loving expression. She watched him just as closely, seeing that one familiar spark of inspiration lighting up in his mesmerizing eyes, but he contained himself. YN couldn’t have any of that. “You can go and do your magic, y’know? Dinner should be here soon, and the little bean and I can entertain ourselves.” But she should’ve known better and allowed Harry to pull her back against his chest. “The music can wait. I need this. Need you. Time with you. Wanna talk about anything and everything. Want to talk to the little bean. I want to have dinner with my wife on the balcony. I want to sleep in with her tomorrow before we head out to the villa.”

Sometimes, YN couldn’t comprehend her luck, couldn’t comprehend how it was possible for someone to love another human so deeply. It was like a miracle.

Grinning, she let both brows wander up in question. “Have you ever thought about telling your fans that the Harry Styles is not only becoming a dad but is also a married man?” A chuckle escaped them at that, and she still wondered how they had been so successful in keeping secrets from the world. “Maybe after coming back,” he continued to chuckle as he bent down and kissed her right shoulder, his thumbs now sweeping over her skin like soft feathers.

The moment of contentedly looking at one another through the slightly fogged-up mirror was over as the sound of knuckles against the wooden hotel room door echoed through their rooms. Harry bent down once again, his index finger resting under her chin and turning her face to capture her lips in another kiss. He just couldn’t get enough of her. “I’ll set up dinner, and you’ll get cozy again, sunflower.”

And with that, he ventured out of the bathroom, leaving a smiling YN behind.

* * *

As usual: Thanks for reading, folks <3 If you like my work, I’d be very happy if you reblog it because reblogs are super great! And I love to hear your thoughts, so hit me up whenever and however you like

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kelppsstuff · 3 months

Note

Okaay so I saw that you accepting requests again sooooo can ask for some smut au Incubus!Adam x fem! Virgin Reader? I bet my ass if he was a demon he would 100% be a incubus who would has a virginity and breeding kink. You can't convince me otherwise 😆

For I Have Sinned

Summary: Adam was very self aware in the sexual department. He loved fucking virgins, so when you show up wearing your purity ring in hell of all places his interest grows heavily in you. He didn’t expect to fall but when he did he vowed to take that ring.

F!Reader

A/N: so I ended up making this were Adam went to hell as an incubus when he died because that fitted more with the way I went with this, if you’d like I can redo this where he originally went to hell, it would just be a different plot.

Masterlist

Warnings: breading, Virgin, jealously, blow job, pretty long.

A/N: this is the song.

You didn’t deserve to be in hell. Everyone could see it, and when they asked why you were you’d always brush it off. They just really could understand why, so you were the perfect example of a redeemable sinner.

You had arrived in hell just a little bit before the whole extermination battle. So you didn’t know too much about this whole place.

It was Alastor who found you and offered you a try at a second chance. Key word; try.

—

When you joined the hotels guest list, it had just been a few days till after Adam came to hell. So you two relatively had taken a room right around the same time.

Due to the closeness Charlie made the two of you always partners for activities. At first Adam was annoyed by your sweet personality, but maybe that wasn’t entirely true.

—

A knock on your door made you groan awake.

You opened the door, your hair spread everywhere and on the other side was the owner of the Hotel herself. Charlie.

“Hey Char Char. What can I do for you?” Charlie was beaming at you, like she had stars in her eyes. “We’re starting trust falls in thirty and going to go on from there!”

You gave her a polite smile and confirming nod just before she left. When you were ready, you walked out exactly 30 minutes later, and you did a woman from the room beside you.

That woman came from Adams room. You can’t say you really too surprised, he had a new girl in there every week.

The girl was embarrassed being caught, though not too embarrassed considering this was hell. You had recognized her however, she was the bookstore lady.

“Really?” You asked Adam as he too walked out his room and down the stairs with you. “What?”

“We’re supposed to not do sin.” You explained as you noticed he was walking next to you on the way down, and not the lady he was just spending his time with. “Yeah well a man has needs.”

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the lobby couch, while Adam showed the bookstore lady the door.

“Welcome! I hope everyone is having a good morning! We are going to do some trust falls first, then you and your partner will cook one another breakfast together.” The princess beamed at the sinners. You beamed right back while the others were to tired to show motivation.

Charlie walked to the platform she set up, and as always she went first. “I’m really proud of you guys!” She jumped and everyone was quick to catch — besides Adam and Alastor.

“Why don’t you go next Vaggie?” You could see the hesitation on her face, but ultimately decided Charlie was worth being a bit uncomfortable for a moment. “I know karate.”

While everyone continues to catch her, Adam rolled his eyes. He already knew that, he made sure his girls were well trained before going on the line.

As far as Adam was concerned he believed this was pointless. “Y/N, you next.” Vaggie picked you and you hurried on stage.

When you opened your mouth to speak you couldn’t find words. A trust fall was where you were supposed to share something, and despite you kind nature you were still a pretty private person.

You twisted the ring on your finger, thinking of something. You looked down and the pretty stone. “I have a purity ring.” You spoke softly and low but everyone heard.

Adam heard, and he didn’t know what happened but suddenly you were a lot more colorful.

When you jumped off the stage Adam was one of the first to catch you, appearing in the middle of the crowd out of no where — Alastor still kept to the side.

—

Each member, besides Alastor and Adam, had gone up and said something. So the activity moved on.

Everyone was awake now and so Charlie had set up stations and partners. Her and Vaggie, Angel, and Husk, Alastor and her dad along with Niffty, and then you and Adam.

Charlie handed everyone an apron and then said y’all could start.

There was so many things you could make you didn’t know which. You grabbed butter first and the some bread. Just as you were about to reach the eggs a tap to you side distracted you.

The king himself smiled at you, “want some batter?” Truth is, with your good nature Lucifer had became good friends with you.

You had shown Lucifer that maybe his gift of free will wasn’t a total flaw. “What kind?” You grabbed a plastic spoon and grabbed a little scoop.

“Pancakes!” Just as he spoke you at the batter and wow. That was good! “Make me a few too yeah?” Lucifer let out a little laugh with a nod that was interrupted by your partner.

Adam pushed himself in between the two of you, “sorry to intrude.” He wasn’t. “But I think you should start cooking now Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed three eggs. “Grab me a bowl then will ya?” Adam did that while Lucifer went back to his station. You cracked the three eggs perfectly and started to whip them.

You also put the butter in the pan and started the oven, then dipped the bread in the eggs, placing it in the hot pan.

You grabbed some cinnamon and started to place it onto the frying bread.

Out of no where some flour flew at you. The culprit started to laugh at your white hair, all while you tried to remain calm.

Adam wasn’t going to make YOU food. No way! So what better way to pass the time than to annoy you?

You grabbed a handful of the flour and chucked it at Adam, his laughing stopped and you felt satisfied.

Then began your food fight. Alastor had put a stop to it after your French toast caught on fire and before the kitchen could become more of a mess.

You started to wash your hand and groan at the flour stuck in your ring. “Are you kidding me?!”

Adam looked over your shoulder. Getting an actual view of the ring. It was pretty, it was rare one would have such a pretty ring in hell — the place filled with muggers.

“So a virgin huh?” You gave Adam a weary glance, “yeah? So what?” You spoke to him in that little defensive tone of yours.

“Nothing nothing. Just wouldn’t think someone like you would be one.” His condescending tone caused your blood to boil, something that appeared only he could do.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You wiped your hands off and placed one on your hip, twisting to look at him.

“Well we’re in hell, pretty much every one here is a slut.” You eyes widened at his vulgarity, not to mention the nerve of this man. “Your one to talk. Everyday there’s a new girl in your room.”

“Jealous?”

“As if.”

You had peeked Adam’s interest indeed.

—

Adam would always insult you for being a sinner. For doing some “kinky shit” for being in hell. No matter how sweet you were, Adam had always called bullshit. Though after he found out about your purity ring that changed.

Instead of calling you Sinner bitch it changed into good girl.

You were supposed to be delighted that was the case but you weren’t. Adam was the only person who treated you like everyone else. People would often always put on their fake kindness for you, just because you were kind to them.

You hadn’t realized you craved sin until Adam. If you were in hell it was for the sin of gluttony. You wanted more, not the same bullshit.

Charlie would always say you were sure to get to heaven, but now you didn’t know if you wanted to be there.

—

Thus came the annual Masquerade ball, hosted by the sin of pride himself on every Halloween.

Usually you and everyone in the hotel besides Alastor and Charlie wouldn’t be able to attend but this year you had all gotten invited, even Adam. So you helped Angel dust pick and outfit all the while looking for an outfit of your own.

Everyone was dressed in suit, and dresses, you had told the group you felt unwell and wouldn’t be attending. It was a lie but you just wanted to see how different it could be if you gave into all your desires.

So when everyone left you threw on your mask and your long dress with your styled hair, and popped off to the party.

When you entered no one knew who you were and you loved it. They would talk about their latest hookup, a conversation you hadn’t even heard since you were alive. They would talk about the latest sin they had done. It was quite fun to just splash in.

“May I have this dance?”

You turned around to the voice and you knew who it was, though you were under the impression he didn’t know you.

You didn’t want him to hear your voice so you only nodded and took his hand.

The two of you joined many other on the dance floor and started to sway to the slow song. Almost as if everyone was in sync.

Adam twirled you and hurried to bring you back to his chest. “I will say I’m disturbed that you haven’t said a word to me Y/N.”

Your heart stopped for a moment. “How’d you know.” He twirled you again and this time your back landed against his chest.

He brought his face to the crook of you neck and whispered almost desperate. “You mean besides your scent that I wish was on my sheets?.” You breath hitch as he pressed a gentle kiss against the curve of your neck. “It was your ring that gave it away.”

You silently cursed yourself for forgetting about that. You and Adam swayed in silence. Your back still against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist while your held his. His breath fanning your neck causing a burning sensation that just consumed you.

“Why you lie?” You should have known someone would know, you just didn’t think it was Adam. “I’m not a child, I was tired of people treating me like one just because I’m a ‘sweetheart.’”

He hummed in your ear and dipped you. “You wish to be apart of adult conversations?”

“Is that such a surprise?” He brought out back to your feet and gave you a grin that caused a heat to spread.

“Do you know what I want?” You could say your answer before he started to continue. “I want you to drag you back to my room and ripped that dress off of you while you beg me to show you all the way to embrace pleasure.”

He wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapped his around your waist pushing your breast against his wide chest. “I ruin you in all the ways imaginable, then I want to create new ways just so you can never leave me.”

“And then when morning comes?” You asked.

“That’s when the fun begins.” His eyes was playful but in that moment something flickered in them. Something that drew your lips to his as you desperately tried to chase that feeling.

—

He pushed open the door and stumbled into the room with you, lips never leaving you besides for pleasurable sighs. He kicked the door shut and pushed you onto the bed.

He kicked off his shoes while bending down to take your own heels off.

You grabbed his tie and started yank it off. While he unzipped you. He kissed down your neck while pushing your dress down.

You started to unbutton his dress shirt but quickly grew annoyed and ripped it open, the buttons flying everywhere. You pushed his shirt off and looked up at him with desperate eyes.

He pulled away from your neck when he was satisfied with his art work and pulled back to get a better look at you. In panties, looking up at him with begging, no pleading eyes.

His chest went up and down, breathing heavily. His hair was a mess and you noticed he had a cowlick.

“I want you.” Adam knew you did and while he didn’t say it back you knew he did too. You knew from the way he quickly discarded the rest of y’all clothing. You knew from the way he spit over your pussy to make sure you had extra lubricant.

You knew from the way he pushed passed your folds. You knew when you cried out when he bottomed out inside you. You knew from when you saw the flicker in his eyes again.

And in that moment you knew that you would never be getting rid of him, for he would follow you to the end of the earth.

He started to thrust up into you, whines and moans leaving your mouth. While deep breaths and groans left his.

He then angles his hips and thrusts up once again, hitting the right spot inside you.

“Oh god, right there.”

“That’s right baby, I’m your god.”

Your hand were gripping the sheets above you and he brung his hand over your own. Spreading it out, his fingers linking with yours. The cold band on your finger the only the cold between the the two of you.

He continued his fast and relentless pace and soon the coil in your stomach was going to snap. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Adam I’m going to cum.”

“That’s right babe, cum on my cock, only my cock can make you feel like this.”

Just like that the coil snapped and Adam fucked you through your own orgasam, searching for his own.

“Fuck babe I’m gonna cum you keep clenching around me like that.”

The idea of Adam cumming in you was one you couldn’t get out of your head.

“Do it, cum in me. Make me yours.”

His hand wrapped around your throat and squeezed while he picked up the pace. “Fuck you want me to fill you up? Fill the cunt until your belly is swollen?”

“Yes.”

That did him in. He came, hard, painting your walls white.

When the two of you came down from your highs the two of you fell asleep. When you awoke the neck morning you panicked, you were in Adam’s bed, you slept with him, and you didn’t regret it. Most of all, you couldn’t find your ring.

You went back to your room and grabbed some clothes and went to look in the lobby, wondering if it dropped.

Though when you entered it there Adam was, talking to husk and while he was handsome his face wasn’t what brought your attention.

It was the dangling necklace that had your ring on the chain. The message was clear, you were his, and he was yours.

—

Done! Sorry I haven’t updated in a bit, I’ve been working on my other blogs, but I promise I haven’t forgotten all of you people. How could I? Everyone in Hazbin is practically hot.

#hazbin hotel #masterlist #hazbin #x reader #adam hazbin hotel #adam is actually hilarious #adam x reader

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wildflowercryptid · 7 months

Note

Hope its okay if I ask about your versions of Florian and Juliana, thanks ^ _ ^

- Are they siblings?

- What are both their personalities?

- Were they actually raised in Paldea? The MC's in the game are implied to originally be from Galar so I was just wondering that

- Which storylines from the game are each the of them the main character of?

I'm so sorry if I've missed out an info sheet on them hhhhghg

Thank u again!

oh, it’s more than okay to ask about them! i actually really like talking about my interpretations of the pokémon characters, but i just struggle to articulate my ideas a lot of the time. or forget to share them. i’ve been meaning to drop lore for these two so i’ll do that now!

( putting the answers under a cut because i kinda ended up rambling. oops. )

are they siblings?

yes, they are! juliana is the older of the two, but they’re actually super close in age ( with jules not even being a year older than florian. ) because of that, they’re pretty close and sometimes get mistaken for twins. they still bicker and annoy each other like any other typical sibling relationship, but they respect each other a lot and consider each other their greatest confidant. their relationship kinda ends up paralleling carmine and kieran’s own dynamic as siblings, with juliana and florian seeing each other as equals while the same can’t really be said for carmine and kieran.

what are both of their personalities?

while they’re both pretty level-headed, juliana is definitely the more outgoing and confident of the two. florian is more of the reserved type, someone who typically keeps to himself and would much rather wait in the wings than be center stage, ( too bad he’s basically the major protagonist of the story. ) they’re both fairly friendly, but he struggles connecting with others more when compared to his sister. essentially, they’re kinda like a dialed-back version of mabel and dipper pines. florian generally is a very sweet and open-hearted kid who tries to see the best in others, which often leads to his kindness being taken advantage of and getting pushed around easily, ( i.e. carmine convincing him to keep the secret about ogerpon from kieran. ) because of that, juliana is a little protective of him and isn’t afraid to step in when he struggles to stand up for himself. and while she does like to be seen as reliable, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t encourage florian to be more confident and advocate for himself more. he does end up growing more of a backbone during the timeskip, which makes her very proud. meanwhile, juliana is a lot more outspoken and doesn’t hold back when things need to be called out. she’s still just as compassionate as her brother and is extremely reliable, along with having a very strong moral compass. she definitely fills the cool, reliable older sister role pretty well.

were they actually raised in paldea?

they grew up in galar like what’s implied in canon, but the details are a little different. they’re actually paldean on their mother’s side, who was originally from cabo poco herself. their family decided to move from wyndon back to her hometown after their father lost his job at one of macro cosmos’s now defunct finance subsidiaries. luckily, he was able to land a new desk job in medali and now larry’s his boss. ( the two get along well, they talk about their kids during lunch breaks. )

which storylines from the game are each of them the main character of?

juliana takes on the victory road and starfell street storylines while florian tackles the path of legends and filling out the pokédex, with both of them coming together for the way home. initially, i conceptualized them as co-protagonists and they still kinda are… but florian has definitely taken on the role as primary protagonist with how much shit keeps on just happening to him. i would expand the specifics of how the path of legends plays out for florian and how his friendship with arven develops, but i’ve already rambled enough so i’ll try to talk about that in another post.

hope this answers all your questions and sorry if it's a little long, i've just gotten attached to these kids and have a lot to say about them.

if you have any other questions ( about the paldea kids or mjverse in general, ) please feel free to ask them! it might take me a sec to reply, but i'll try my best!

#i really do need to talk about florian in the path of legends bc i really like how his character ended up developing #it's basically ends up being a '' don't meet your heroes '' kind of story and how it strengthens florian's convictions >>>#to become a good pokémon professor #also him essentially adopting arven as a big brother #i love these kids so much they'd grown on me a lot #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pkmn scarvio #trainer juliana #trainer florian #hc : (pkmn) mjverse #chara : juliana sigal cavallari #chara : florian russel cavallari #🎨 : mj draws #asks #mj.txt

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chiskz · 8 months

Text

[ ▶️ ] Stray Kids [INTRO "樂-STAR"]

↬ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

Chichi is wearing a very loose pale pink sweater, Timberland boots of the same color and wide denim pants. Her hair is tied in a very small ponytail. She is sitting on a high stool set up in a training room, which is semi-dark.

❝ We are back with a new album and new energy. I think both we and STAY have been waiting for something like this.❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ As you can see, I am in our training room, the place where it is easiest to find me at any time of the day as well as night.❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ This year has really brought us a lot of good things, mainly a lot of new opportunities to grow and show again that we have our own style. I feel that we are maturing as artists, more and more with each new song. It's a great feeling to be able to blossom at any time of the year. ❞

↬ 𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀

❝ Ah, choreography? ❞

Chichi laughs briefly, sitting down a little more comfortably.

❝ This song was supposed to be as a b-side for 5-STAR album, so I had heard it much earlier. So I had a good part of the choreography laid already in my head, so putting it together into a coherent whole went quite smoothly, so we had a lot of time to learn and practice it. I'm proud of it. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ Referring to rock-star, I also included the headbanging associated with that concept, but in our style, somewhat reminiscent of the head movement from God's Menu. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Lee Know: ❝ The moves are really big too. [...] "They're giving it their all", that's how the final chorus feels like. Everytime I listen to a song I can picture the choreography in my head and how I want to feel. When I listened to this song and then Chichi showed us the choreography I was like... Wow. She really did bring out the song's full potential. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ This time there were many dancers with us. I wondered how I would lead them, but both they and my Kids and JYP ent. put all their trust in me. I couldn't let them down. In college, large groups of dancers were my specialty, but to be honest, I was still scared. It was really a big responsibility. Fortunately, we understood each other very well and the cooperation went smoothly. ❞

↬ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐗

❝ "Embracing all my scars and imperfections, turn the tide. All my cons are my pros now." I love this song. I think that even at this stage of life, where I'm already an adult, I can say that I still struggle with complexes. This song is a good way to deal with them, it's about turning something we think is our weakness into a strength, because we are really the only ones who can give it to ourselves. We are our ally, the only one we are sure will stay with us forever. That is why it is so important to build a healthy relationship with yourself.❞

↬ 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄

❝ Ah, Cover Me! ❞

Chichi laughs and wraps her arms around herself.

❝ At the very sound of the title I got shivers... A wonderful song. It has a huge, huge value for me. It is quite a milestone for me as a vocalist, because Hyunjin proposed me as the voice for the second high note, next to Seungmin. It was a great honor for me, and it filled my heart with pride that I was really developing, that someone else saw it too. That I didn't make this up... I was really moved. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chichi sits on the couch with a piece of paper while Seungmin leaves the booth after recording his part. She stands up nervously and looks at Chan, then laughs nervously.

"It's me now!"

She goes inside, puts on her headphones and puts down the piece of paper. Chan gives her final instructions, after which Chi proceeds to sing her high note.

Chan stops the recording and corrects her cap.

"And I think we're good here too."

Chichi pulls off her headphones and blinks several times.

"Really?"

"It was great."

Confirmed Seungmin standing behind Chan sitting in the chair. The leader turned on the already joined lines of Seungmin and Chichi to show them how it went.

"I really got shivers..."

↬ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

❝ With each new album, each new song or choreography, we try to raise the bar even higher. Some will say that we are greedy... Maybe this is indeed the case, but I have the impression that we have always wanted more, because we know that we are capable of more. We just need to create the right conditions for ourselves, create more space to completely spread our wings, which are constantly growing and need more and more of it. I think this is good, because we are always grateful for everything, we want to achieve more, but in return we try to give twice as much. Some people call it the journey to the top, but I think there is no top, because you never reach your full potential. It's the journey that is most valuable in all of this. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

♡𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @amyysfics , @smh-anon , @neohyxn , @stealanity , @alixnsuperstxr , @juliawritingblog , @rizzshimura , @elizalabs3

#stray kids 9th member #kpop addition #kpop added member #kpop oc #stray kids oc #idol oc #stray kids female oc #stray kids added member #stray kids addition #idol!oc #fake kpop idol #idol!addition

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fanfiction4sooya · 10 months

Text

Proud to be yours (Rosé x Miyeon)

Mommy kink, fingering, nsfw, oral and vaginal sex, fluff.

This request ended up more fluffly than kinky, I just think they are too cute together (Rosé is 30 on this story btw). Anyways!!

Hope you like it!! 💖💖

Rosé had finished the last show of the tour with Blackpink, crazy to wrap things up to go home and surprise her baby, Miyeon. It wasn't really a relationship, but she found herself growing fonder and fonder of the cute girl.

She got home, immediately turning on the TV as the M Countdown had just started. Miyeon's blonde hair was down and she was wearing a light pink dress, high heels and a necklace with a small diamond on the shape of the letter "R". Rosé smiled upon seeing that, thinking to herself how good her baby looked, her heart swelling with how much she missed her.

She had an idea. A great one.

The Countdown had ended and just when she was about to text Rosie, she saw her driver waiting outside the changing rooms. Miyeon's eyes lit up as she knew exactly what that meant: Rosé was back home.

"Ms. Park asked to pick you up as soon as you got off stage" He told her and she eagerly nodded. He rapidly drove her to the designated place, on behalf of Rosé's orders.

Her heart was pounding on her chest as she approached the skyscraper, immediately jumping out of the car to the elevator. Soft music hit her ears as the doors rang open into the top of the building, Rosé's beautiful back turned to her as she lightly pressed the piano keys. The sky above them felt like a painting due to so many stars, same as the wind seemed carefully heated by the divine only for their skins to feel.

As in a slow motion she turned to see her lover, getting up. They looked similar, yet were so different. Blonde hair, soft features, same star sign and also MBTI. Yet the difference was in the dominance Rosé displayed so naturally over Miyeon, her not so colorful taste as she wore a black dress, both feminine with completely different energies.

Looking at her smile she just thought how she would not mind one bit spending anything and everything she had only to make her princess happy like she was at that time.

"Mommy!" She cutely ran over to her lover, hugging her. "I've missed you so much I seriously thought I was going to die" She looked up as the other woman was a bit taller than her.

"Don't say that, princess" Rosé kissed her forehead, inhaling her scent. "I've missed you too, a lot" They looked at each other as time stopped, the whole city went quiet to their ears. "You look beautiful as always" Rosé finally said, caressing her face.

"Thank you, mommy" Miyeon blushed a bit. "I'm wearing the necklace you gave me, see?" She took a step back, blinking cutely as she showed Rosé her pale neck adorned by the beautiful jewelry. "I wanted them to know I belong to you" Her voice dropped an octave, breathier. She batted her eyes, her intention very clear.

Rosé touched her neck, making her shiver. Her eyes darker as her fingers ran from Miyeon's neck to her chest over the tight dress just to stop at her waist to bring her close.

"You do belong to me, don't you princess?" Her other hand caressed her head, stopping at her neck too and gently holding it. Rosé took a deep breath, her face closer now. "You missed my touch too, I see" Looking down, she saw goosebumps on Miyeon's skin.

"y-yes, mommy" Her eyes were hooded, full of desire. "I miss you all the time..." She gulped as Rosé's nose touched hers.

She didn't say anything anymore, her lips ghosting over the younger one's as she squirmed. As they kissed, their bodies flushed against each other, all the desire they were unable to get rid of because of the time they spent away fulling surfacing now.

Miyeon whimpered as Rosé easily picked her up, her ankles crossing naturally behind her back as they kept kissing. She walked a few steps, placing the younger woman on top of the piano. Rosé kissed her neck, squeezing her ass to make her clothed core hump her abs under the black dress.

"I am always looking at you, you know?" Miyeon moaned when the other blonde kissed her neck, her lips puffy and swollen from the passionate kiss. "I love when you dress all cute for me, grabbing everyone's attention when you walk by" She smiled, Miyeon pulsed as she heard her mommy's voice. So enticing and distinct she was sure Rosé was some sort of angel.

"Don't you feel jealous, mommy?" Miyeon frowned a bit.

"Jealous?" Rosé brought her hand over her panties, making her hiss. "I am the one who make you feel like this whenever I want to, princess" She carefully pulled her panties down her legs, taking them off. "If I ever feel something about their eyes on you, that something is pride" She said, circling Miyeon's pussy with her fingers to collect her wetness.

Hearing that made her clench hard, her heart beating fast. Her ego going up into the sky.

"Mommy I miss you, please" She pleaded and Rosé lightly chuckled.

"You are so cute, my love" She said, kissing her lips again. "I'm going to show you how much I've missed you too, princess" She kissed down from her lips to her collarbone, pulling the straps of her dress to suck one nipple while her fingers kept circling her clit.

"God, Rosie" She rolled her eyes, tempted to press Rosé's head even further to her chest. "mommy"

Rosé didn't say anything, only answering her by going down her body to kiss her milky thighs, pulling her even more to the edge of the piano and kneeling. Her tongue felt hot and soft like never before, adoring the younger woman. She kissed her clit making Miyeon slightly jump, as she smiled.

Her pussy was beautiful as her whole body, pulsing and clenching in need for attention. Rosé didn't wait any longer, licking from her slit to her clit as it poked out of the hood in the most delicate way.

Using one hand to spread her pussy lips she pressed her tongue inside, fucking Miyeon with her tongue. Her mind was dizzy, she was sure her soul was about to leave her body was her spread thighs started to tremble. The older woman switched her tongue with two of her fingers, getting up to kiss her lover's mouth.

"I'm so proud of you, princess" She said as she fucked the other one a little more roughly, just enough to get her closer to her climax. She knew how Miyeon loved that type of praise and attention. "You've been working so hard" She whispered against her lips, eyes locked on each other.

"Oh my god" She closed her eyes, scratching the other's back as she held her tight against her body. "Th-thank you mommy" She stuttered, clenching as her orgasm started to wash over her.

"Don't thank me yet, sweetie" She said, reaching deep into Miyeon's pussy. slamming her fingers inside the other one. Rosé was also wet, seeing her lover after so much time made her head spin with arousal but she always put her needs first.

"I love you so much, mommy" Miyeon blurted out, too caught up on the moment to realize what she just said. "I'-m c-coming, god"

She came with a scream, repeating those words as a mantra until she lost every ounce of breath on her lungs.

She shivered, trying to even her breath with her eyes closed as Rosé pampered her with butterfly kisses, carefully taking her fingers. Miyeon hugged her waist with her legs and circled her neck with both her arms.

"You always make me see stars" She blinked, cheesy. Rosé smiled, shaking her head.

"Come here, princess" She pulled Miyeon, taking her to the edge of the skyscraper and carefully putting her on the ground. "Look down, there" She said, turning Miyeon around and hugging her waist with one arm, handing her a pair of binoculars.

"Look wha-" She started saying but was completely cut off by the sight ahead.

At the horizon the words 'I love you' written on the floor with hundreds, maybe thousands of red roses; by the side a brand new black Lamborghini with pink leather seats.

That took her by surprise by many different reasons, but knowing now that Rosé loved her too changed everything. Every single little thing...

"You love me?" Miyeon sniffled, turning around to hide her face in the crook of Rosé's neck as she smiled. "Thank you mommy, I don't even know what to say"

"Just keep being mine, princess" She said, pulling her in for a passionate kiss, their tongues beautifully dancing with each other. "Now show me how much you love me too" Her voice was a bit darker, as her hand lightly pushed Miyeon to her knees.

#cho miyeon #gidle #miyeon smut #blackpink #blackpink rose #blackpink smut #gxg smut #rosé x miyeon

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delphiealmond · 2 months

Text

A Fallen Apple From The Apple Tree

⋆☾⋆𓅮❦⛧⋆☾⋆

Pairing ➸ Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor

Synopsis ➸ Lucifer Morningstar believed that Heaven was a sanctuary, the best place for a soul to be in. Growing up with his brothers was the easy part, until God summoned him and his older brother Michael to guard over the portal between realms. Slowly, Lucifer begins to see how frightful Heaven really was. Sought out to defend the sinners of Hell, tragedy strikes among the Archangels. But a familiar face makes Lucifer think that maybe defending his opinion wasn't the worst idea he could've had. Does this familiar face bring him peace? Or does Lucifer end up getting stuck in another twisting cycle of lies and betrayals?

Warnings ➸ None for this chapter

⋆☾⋆𓅮❦⛧⋆☾⋆

MASTERLIST : Previous | Next

Chapter Seven (2.9k)

The Furtherance Day ceremony was what everyone dreamed it would be. Once Emily was welcomed into this new stage of her life, buffets, drinks and parties were opened up all throughout Heaven. No stores were open as everyone celebrated such a momentous day.

Emily had her hands full, thanking the Elder Angels, talking with the winners of Heaven. She seemed happy to be in such a place. She seemed proud of herself, glad to finally play into the role she was made for. And it was beautiful, even as the day grew darker.

Tables were set up outside of the courthouse halls, pointing off to the beauty of the Heaven’s clouds. The dimming blue sky coloured in pinks and yellows as the suns set for the day. The clouds mimicked the colours of the angelic sky.

The light show was beautiful. Fireworks of magic that Emily recognized immediately. Purples, blues, whites. Gold and pink danced against the night sky. The booms echoed throughout Heaven, a feeling that shook Emily through her core, yet she smiled brightly as the show continued.

She never expected to be so amazed. This day was more important than the day she was brought into this existence, and to watch a light show made by the one and only Lucifer Morningstar, nearly brought her to tears. A friendship she never expected to mean so much to her.

Yet as the day went on, Lucifer didn’t get the chance to speak with her again. She was always swept up by someone else and chatted with, by the time he and the brothers were leaving, he didn’t get a chance to congratulate her. Though, he knew that the duck he gave her meant a lot to her. Even then, it brought a smile to his face.

Stretching out on the couch, the brothers put on a movie, for their weekly movie night. Each of them dressed in their pajamas, cuddling stuffed animals or even just the blankets, Lucifer sat proudly in his duck pajamas with Duckie to his side.

“Boys,” God spoke, pulling their attention away from the TV screen, and over to their father. Michael didn’t waste a second to pause the movie. “I am very proud of you today.” He smiled.

Uriel sat up more, a bright smile on his face as he listened.

“Each one of you respected the angels. I do admit, it could be boring, but I’m very glad you behaved.”

“Thank you father,” Raphael hummed, burying his face into the fuzzy blanket he was wrapped in.

“Michael, Lucifer.” He turned his attention to his eldest sons. “You did a wonderful job on the light show. I’m very proud of you. Your magic has come so far, and I can’t wait to see what you do with it in your futures, as they gleam ever so brightly.”

Lucifer glanced at Michael, who sat up properly. He smiled at Lucifer before looking back at their father.

“Thank you… It was a lot of fun,”

“And practice.” Lucifer commented, only to smile at his father. “I hope we can do something like that again soon.”

“Well,” God crossed his arms over his chest. “Perhaps that day might come sooner than you think.” He looked among his sons. He felt a gust of love and proudness cloud over him, thinking of how behaved they were today. A soft, caring smile appeared on his face.

“Enjoy your movie, but then get to bed. You’ve all got a long day tomorrow.” He said.

“Yes father!!” Joel shouted, before trying to take the remote from Michael. Michael held up his arm, stopping the younger from grabbing it.

“Good night, father.” Lucifer smiled, getting himself comfortable on the couch.

“Good night, my sons.”

~~~~

The red sky, decorated in orange and blood red clouds hung with an uncomfortable feeling in the air. Screams of souls lost in the world echoed through the streets of the damned. Uneasiness lingered in the hearts of souls who felt better off hidden than seen.

Souls avoided the darkened streets, watching as powerful overlords ran sections of cities, places untouched by holy hands. The rings, pulsed with power, yet screamed with mediocre sinners.

Dreams crushed in the hands of the rulers of Hell. Hope dwindled like a candle burning out. Such things didn’t bother to exist in a world of chaos and pain. A world, some had grown accustomed to. A world fit for demons and hellborns, sinners and Goetias.

Standing outside his father’s office, his fingers played with frills at the ends of his sleeves, awaiting to be beckoned into the room. His ears twitched with the sound of a soul’s final scream before being blown to shreds outside of the building.

Eventually, a Hellhound pushed open the door, welcoming him into the room that was shrouded in red and orange flame. The flicker of the fireplace illuminated the room, his father not at his desk, yet sat by the fire, whisky in his hand.

“Alastor,” he smiled, standing from his chair. He placed the glass on the side table as the doors closed behind his son. “Up to no good recently?” He asked.

Alastor’s tail whipped at the comment as he smiled at his father.

“You know, spending my time with dear Rosie and watching sinners fight for nothing.” He said, his ears twitching.

“Excellent.” Satan gestured for Alastor to sit as he stood by the fireplace. A room so familiar to him, yet in the moment it felt foreign. It felt strange to be called upon by his father, but he knew something was up.

“What’s with the formalities?” Alastor pondered, tilting his head to the side.

“Well,” Satan looked at the fire. “I think it’s time. You’ve done your research, you’ve shown me that you could be an excellent leader-”

“Overlord was a title easy to earn, father.” Alastor smiled, crossing his leg over his knee. “A task so simple that it was almost shameful.”

“I know,” Satan chuckled. “But it’s growing closer to a time where you just might be one of the most important people in a room.” Alastor’s ears twitched to the comment.

“Sounds intriguing.”

“Doesn’t it, though?” Satan headed over to the other chair, sitting beside Alastor. “You’re old enough now to take my responsibilities. And I know you're fully capable of doing so.” Alastor raised an eyebrow.

“Take your responsibilities?”

“Yes, well… Outside of the Wrath Ring that is. If you want to earn your spot in my chair, I need you to do my outside biddings. And as your son, I know it’ll be an easy task for you.”

“You want me to travel between the rings on your behalf?” Alastor asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “To what..?”

“Show them your power.” Satan smiled. “One day, I might not be here, Al.” Satan took a drink of the whisky. “And I need you to be able to take my place if that ever occurs. I’ve got a bullet pointed straight at my back and I’m wondering when it will hit me.”

Alastor listened, his ears twitching in their conversation.

“I know Imps and hellhounds can do quite a bit. But I need you,” Satan looked at Alastor. “To be able to show me that you can take my place.”

“Are you implying that you’re going to die?” Alastor asked. “What again?” He laughed. “You’re such a good entertainment father.”

“Alastor,” Satan chuckled. “Being in power is not about having power. It’s about controlling it, and demanding it. And with that, comes the possibility of being someone’s enemy.” Alastor raised an eyebrow.

“Enemies are everywhere.” He hummed.

“Yes, and if you build up enough enemies, you will never know who will get the chance to shoot you first.”

Alastor looked at the fire. The flames danced in the fireplace, warming the room as if Hell wasn’t already warm enough.

“I’m giving you a very important role, here Al. I trust you with it. Don’t take it and think you’re superior now, because you’re not. You are still my son, and as of now, I’m still alive.”

“I won’t backstab my own father,” Alastor waved his hand in dismissal. “I’m not that horrible of a son.” Satan looked at him, for a good long while before he spoke again.

“Promise me, Alastor.”

“To do what?” Alastor turned his attention back to his father, only for the seriousness of the conversation to dwindle his cheery attitude. The expression on his fathers face was something he had only seen twice in his entire life.

“I promise…” He muttered.

“Good.” Satan messed up Alastor’s hair. “That’s my boy.” Alastor frowned, trying to fix his hair yet his tail wagged and thumped against the chair.

~~~~

Days had passed since the ceremony, and winners hadn’t been happier. To greet a winner on the street who smiled so happily made Lucifer’s heart burn bright. Emily was already making a contribution to Heaven and it was already showing. Souls were singing their songs, sharing tea with breakfast and it was as if joy was floating through the air.

Heaven was beautiful, bright and so joyful, even now. Though for the archangels, their jobs were just beginning. Of course, Lucifer helped Joel and Raphael at any chance he got.

Teaching his brothers the greatness of interacting with Earth souls, showing them his own magic, in hopes to encourage them to keep practicing their own. Yet, he walked along the streets with his brothers, only to see the angel army soldiers walking through the streets. Angelic weapons in their hands as they barely even greeted souls who walked past them.

It was like a darkness lingered around them that Lucifer didn’t quite understand. A darkness that he’s noticed before, but couldn’t quite place.

“Luci, can we go visit some of the shops on the Promenade?” Joel asked, his expression full of nothing but boredom. Though the comment should’ve hindered his own spirit, he remembers being with Michael and going through this with Sera. It was boring at times.

“Fine, but only a few shops.” He said, raising a hand.

“Wait, really?” Raphael asked, his expression perking up as he looked at his older brother with excitement.

“Yes, only for a few hours though. Then we gotta get back to your training.”

“Training schmaining.” Joel complained, turning down a road that would lead to the Promenade. Lucifer frowned, following after his youngest brother as he tried to understand what he just said.

“Don’t tell me I’m getting old…” he complained. Raphael laughed.

“You? Old? Nah, that’s Mike.” He said, throwing his hands in his pockets. He caught up to Joel, walking alongside him as they began to talk about how boring their training was. How useless it was.

Lucifer walked behind them, a small frown lingering on his face. Neither of them were getting old, Michael was only two years older than him. But then again, they were the oldest siblings of the bunch so he could understand where they were coming from.

“Hey, Luci,” Raphael paused, looking back at the blonde. “Do you know why the military are wandering around?” Lucifer shook his head, spotting not two, not three, but five angel army soldiers on the promenade.

“Just ignore them for now. They have to greet us, we don’t greet them.”

“That sounds harsh.” Joel muttered.

“I know..”

The three of them walked past the group of soldiers and all they did was bow to the three of them. Didn’t bat an eye, didn’t say a word, but just bowed to them.

“What do you think they see?” Joel whispered to Raphael.

“I don’t know, but don’t go asking that question. It could be impolite.” He whispered back.

Lucifer watched the group of soldiers as they laughed with each other as they headed down the promenade, drinks in their hands. He watched them closely, watching as they made fun of what seemed to be the hierarchy. And with that, Lucifer stared at one of the cups in their hands.

It exploded not a few seconds later, all over two of the soldiers. Immediately, Lucifer rushed Joel and Raphael into a nearby candy shop. He paused for a moment as the two brothers looked at him, confused expressions on their faces.

“What happened?”

“Lucifer..?”

“Nothing,” Lucifer smiled at the two of them. “I just didn't like what I saw. Anyways,” He put his hands in his pockets as he looked around the store. “How about you guys pick out… Four bags of candy, fill it ‘till your heart's content and I’ll pay for it?”

“Wait really???” Joel cheered.

“Really, go on.” He gestured, and the two boys headed off into the store, chatting with each other and stopping every now and then to look at the candy. Taking a deep breath, Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest as he peered out the store windows. He didn’t see any of the soldiers around, which made him sigh with relief.

Ever since it all began, Lucifer never liked the idea of the angel army. His childhood, often mistaken in a blur, rang to him whenever he saw an exorcist. Of course, regular winners couldn’t tell the difference between exorcists and angels, but Lucifer could. He had a few foggy memories in his head that he could mistake for dreams, but he felt an uncertainty in his stomach whenever he saw one. Even now, he couldn’t entirely place why. Yes, it was maybe rude to do such a thing, but he felt it fit right for some odd reason.

~~~~

Discussing the day's plan was what Michael and Lucifer did almost every night. To the two of them, it was important to include what each brother needed to work on. Better yet, it was important to give them moments of clarity, a break between all of their work.

The four of them weren’t being pushed as much as Michael or Lucifer were. Sera was a lot harder on them when they were growing up, that they promised each other that they wouldn’t be as harsh with their brothers.

Talking about Joel’s magic practice and Gabriel’s flight tests made the night brush past them, and before they knew it, the rest of the brothers had gone off to bed for the night, while Lucifer and Michael stayed up talking.

“And what about you?” Michael looked at him, resting his chin against the back of his hand. “What do you plan to do tomorrow? Who are you gonna take under your wing?”

“I had Raphael and Joel today…” Lucifer said, leaning back as his magic glittered in his hands. “I personally think I should stay home tomorrow, if I’m honest. Something happened today and I don’t really want to go out.”

“Oh?” Michael sat up. “What happened…?”

Lucifer glanced at Michael. At times, Michael seemed younger than Lucifer, but in other situations, Michael was able to take Lucifer’s hand and guide him. Perhaps that’s why he was so important in the family line.

“Well…” Lucifer’s magic disappeared as he leaned forward. “Today we saw a few exorcists. They reacted fairly to us, but when they were walking away I could sense that they were making a fool out of the Hierarchy.” Michael nodded, listening to what Lucifer had to say.

“So… I may or may not have exploded a drink in one of their hands…” He muttered. “It got all over two of the soldiers but I didn’t see what else happened because I pushed Joel and Raph into a shop before they could see it was me.”

“Why… were you afraid of them?” Michael asked, a frown on his face. Lucifer shrugged, slumping against the table.

“Why did you do it…?”

“I got mad. Or irritated?” Lucifer sighed. “I don’t like the exorcists, and seeing them make fun of the one thing we’re born for?” Lucifer looked at Michael. “It didn’t sit right with me.” Michael took a long deep breath.

“Luci, remember that they are there to protect us. Without them, maybe our powers wouldn’t mean anything.”

“I doubt that.” Lucifer sat up. “We’re much stronger than them. If we could, I’m sure you and I alone could defeat half the army in one attempt.”

“Don’t talk like that.” Michael warned, a frown on his face. “We respect the army as much as they respect us.” Lucifer paused. He watched Michael’s face, watched his expressions. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say. He sighed, shaking his head as he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up entirely.

“I’m sorry, I'll take it back.”

Michael sighed, giving a firm nod as he looked at the schedule.

“I’ll take Joel and Raphael for the day, and you can spend the morning at home, and the rest of the day with Uriel and Gabriel-,”

“There’s no need,” God’s voice startled both Lucifer and Michael. Their father, standing tall and arms crossed over his chest, had been standing there, watching the two of them talk with each other for who knows how long.

“Tomorrow, Sera and Emily will entertain your brothers.” He said, heading over to the table. Lucifer and Michael exchanged looks.

“Father? What about us?” Michael asked.

“The two of you will be meeting me in my office at noon. I’m inviting you to a meeting, a very important meeting that you need to be involved in. it’s about time I show you your first step into the hierarchy.”

#hazbin hotel #radioapple #radioapple au #alastor #lucifer #del's creativity

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wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos · 1 year

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Lucy needed a friend in S4

Whenever I think about episode 4x17 and Chris singing Dream A Little Dream of Me in front of Lucy like it was a normal thing to do or a normal mistake to make. I question like the rest of us “why didn’t she break up with him?” We could assume that it was the show itself minimizing her trauma or keeping Chris around for drama reasons. But ignoring that type of meta analysis, in character I think it all comes back to the fact that in season 4, Lucy doesn’t have the friends and support she had before. Yes I know she had Tim but we’ll get to that. Losing Jackson lost Lucy a very important person in her life, because yes they were best friends but they were also peers. They went to each other about everything. Like we saw with Vanessa Chen, Jackson was willing to go scorched earth for Lucy against her own mother, even while Lucy would’ve just suffered in silence about her parents’ disapproval. Unlike her friendships with Nyla, Angela or Tim, Jackson was a peer, they went through the academy together, they were in a very similar stage of life. He was her sounding board in a way Nolan wasn’t or Rachel used to be before she moved. Lucy in season 4 also became Tamara’s primary caretaker, she got a little sister to care about and protect. Lucy absolutely wouldn’t want to burden her with any of the emotional uncertainty or trauma she was working through. As previously demonstrated with Rachel, Lucy works through her issues by talking through them with someone. Her best ability to introspect is talking through her feelings, and having someone point out the lack of logic, or being able to point out her own logic. She can’t do that with Tamara, she’s not burdening this kid. She can’t really do this with Nyla and Angela, because while they are her friends they also outrank her, and are further in their careers and lives. Thorsen is still a rookie and isn’t quite at that level yet. That leaves Tim, but at this point, I think something would prevent Lucy from really discussing her relationship with Tim. They both can’t really admit to each other that there are problems in their relationships because well...that would require them to address their deal. THe only reason Lucy intervened with Ashley is that Ashley called *her* about Kojo So anyway back to 4x17. Chris sings the song, Lucy spirals, and then she decides to watch the video, she decides not to testify, and then she’s fine? She goes to dinner with Chris? But let’s look at that scene. Even on one of her most vulnerable days, Lucy sees that Tamara is interested in lawyer intern Austin. So she makes it easy on Tamara. She knows if she’s not perfectly okay, Tamara will feel bad and it’ll ruin her evening. Lucy cares so much, even at the detriment of her own feelings. Lucy takes care of Tamara by going to dinner with Chris and convincing herself that yeah this is fine and that being with a man who belittles her career, and doesn’t listen to her, and is moving too fast is okay. It’s okay because the two people who could clock that she’s not okay, are Tim (distracted by trying to not have feelings for Lucy, and also Lucy will always want him to be proud of her which means not being vulnerable about things she’s supposed to be “over”) and Jackson (who is dead). If Jackson had been around, Lucy could’ve let herself fall apart over the SUPER TRAUMATIC DAY, and he would’ve called her on her stubbornness in needing to make Chris work. Jackson was her safeplace, in the way that Angela was Tim’s and Nyla had become Nolan’s. S4 left her unmoored which left with the ability to grow in her relationship with Tim, but it also hindered her when things came up that she couldn’t talk to Tim about, like issues with Chris, or kissing Tim in her apartment. S4 Lucy needed her friend Jackson a whole bunch, and nothing shows that more then 4x17, because Jackson would have protected her from herself.

#lucy chen #jackson west #tim bradford #Chenford #Chris Sanford #the rookie #tldr: if jackson was still alive Chris would not have lasted as long as he had #for many reasons #primarily calling lucy on her own bullshit #affectionately but you know

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sequinsmile-x · 9 months

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Adhesive

Emily contemplates how it feels to have her kids growing up when her pre-teen daughter calls her for help.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is a gift for my bestie @ssa-sparks, because she deserves all the good things. But also because I made her start watching Bones with me a few months ago on Disney + GroupWatch and I know that the episode we are watching tonight will upset her. (5 x 16 for those who've seen it. IYKYK)

I hope you all enjoy this - it's largely fluff.

-x-

Warnings: Discussion of periods

Words: 2.4k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily groans as she buries her head in her hands, the thought of doing more paperwork enough to cause a migraine. She rubs her forehead for a second before she shakes her head and reopens her eyes, blowing out a breath as she looks at the pile of papers she still had to sign off.

It had been a few years since she’d been promoted to Section Chief and whilst she was grateful for the extra time it gave her with her kids, she could do without the paperwork and the politics. She smiles as she looks at a framed picture she took at Jack’s recent high school graduation at the start of summer. The boy she’d met when he was a tiny little thing standing tall in between his brother and sister, Oliver and Hazel, their matching grins all shining brightly at the camera. She was so proud of all of her children, of the people they were becoming, but it was hard watching them get older and feeling them need her less and less.

Hazel was 12 now, slowly becoming more embarrassed by her parents as time went on and grappling for her independence. The little girl who had once wanted to be with her everywhere she went, her little shadow, now fading away from her. Oliver was 9, and still at the stage where he loved to spend time with Emily and Aaron, and Emily knew she wasn’t alone in embracing every moment he wanted to spend with them, well aware that Aaron felt the same way, both of them all too familiar with the fact he’d outgrow them soon too.

She knew it meant she’d done a good job at parenting, something she’d once been convinced she wouldn’t be capable of. Her children were kind and empathetic. Independent and stubborn. And they made her proud every day.

But part of her desperately missed when they were tiny little things that made her lose sleep because they were crying for her, not because she was worried about where they were like she had been about Jack all summer before he left for college.

She shakes her head at herself and blows out a breath as she goes to pick up the next stack of papers, but she’s interrupted by her phone ringing. For a moment she thinks it’s going to be Jack again. He’d called her a lot since he’d moved away to college, either for homework advice or just to chat, and it made her smile every time, but she freezes as she reaches for her phone, and panic rises in her chest as she sees her daughter’s name and picture flash up on the screen. Hazel was only supposed to use her cell phone at school in emergencies only and Emily feels her cheeks go warm as she is overwhelmed by worst-case scenarios. She answers the phone quickly, taking a calming breath before she speaks.

“Haze, is everything okay?”

She hears a sniff down the line, followed by her daughter’s voice. A tight, controlled edge to it that wasn’t normal for her, “Mom? Can you come pick me up from school?”

“What’s wrong honey?” She asks, biting her thumbnail as she waits for an answer.

“I feel sick,” she replies, sniffing again, her voice shaking slightly, “Can you please come pick me up?”

Emily sighs sympathetically. Hazel loved school usually so she knew she wasn’t faking anything, that if said she was feeling sick she really was. She thinks of her husband, who had retired from the BAU years ago, who would be at home grading papers from one of the classes he taught at the academy.

“Honey, your Dad’s at home if you want to call-”

“No,” she says, clearing her throat before she lowers her voice, “I…I’d rather it was you. I started my period and…can you come get me?”

It all clicks into place. The fact Hazel was calling her in the middle of the day, her insistence Emily would go pick her up. The slight edge of desperation in her voice. It was a moment Emily had been trying to prepare Hazel for since she’d started middle school. They had products in the bathroom at home waiting for her, she’d talked through what it all meant, but the reality was different.

Her little girl really was growing up.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, already standing up and hastily packing her things into her briefcase, “I’ll leave the office now, okay? Do you need a change of clothes or anything?”

“No it’s okay it…it started in gym class,” Hazel says, sounding embarrassed, “I was in my gym shorts. The nurse gave me some things and I got changed back into my clothes.”

Emily shakes her head to herself, well aware of how cruel kids could be, that part of her daughter’s embarrassment would be down to the fact her classmates had likely realised what was happening.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Emily assures her as she leaves her office, her phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder as she quickly writes a note for her assistant, letting him know where she’d gone.

“Thanks, Mom. Love you.”

She smiles as she walks towards the elevator, “Love you too, honey.”

The journey to the school has never felt longer, and Emily swears her heart breaks as soon as she sees Hazel.

She knows better than to pull her into a hug the way she wants to, well aware that if she showed any kind of affection on school property Hazel would likely never speak to her again, so she simply smiles softly, and exchanges a few words with the nurse whilst Hazel gathers her things.

Emily decides to let her daughter take the lead and maintains the silence she has set as they walk back to the car. It’s only when they are driving away, Hazel’s arms crossed tightly over her chest as she looks out the window, that she starts to speak.

“Thanks for picking me up.”

“No problem at all sweetheart,” Emily says, reaching over the centre console to squeeze Hazel’s knee, “You’re more important than anything,” she sees a hint of a smile, the dimples the pre-teen had inherited from both her and Aaron, carved deep into her cheeks, “I sent your dad out for ice cream, chocolate and snacks.”

Hazel turns to look at her so quickly Emily is sure it must have hurt, the young girl’s eyes wide, “You told Dad?”

She’d called him as soon as she left the office, trying to prepare him for what was probably going to be a long night of heavy emotions in their home, and he’d been the one to suggest that he went out to get all of Hazel’s food. It blew Emily away that he was still able to come up with ways to make her love him even more than she already did after all this time.

“I had to tell him why you were coming home, Haze,” Emily explains softly, “Plus, Dad does know what a period is, he’s lived with me for well over a decade, and Haley before that.”

Hazel sinks slightly further into her seat, her shoulders so tight Emily can see the tension in them when she briefly turns to look at her, “I guess.”

Emily has to stop herself from smirking, “I promise you he’ll be fine, the snacks were his idea.”

Hazel hums, “What are the snacks for anyway?”

She smiles as she stops the car at a traffic light and she reaches out for her daughter, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “Trust me, baby, the snacks are the most important part of the whole thing.”

___

Emily sighs as she looks at herself in the mirror, her hands against the bathroom countertop as she gives herself a moment.

It had been a long evening. Hazel was insistent she wasn’t going to school the following day and that she’d go back on Monday, clearly hoping something else would have happened by then so that her period starting in the middle of gym class would be old news. Neither Emily nor Aaron could convince her otherwise, and had eventually relented, not wanting to upset her by forcing her to go. Oliver had overhead everything and, in a misguided but sweet attempt to cheer his sister up, had declared he’d started his period too - something that had led to Hazel yelling at him and him crying and immediately seeking out Emily for some comfort

She blows out a breath as she pinches the bridge of her nose, only looking back up when she hears the bathroom door opening, a small smile spreading over her face when her eyes meet her husband’s in the mirror.

“You okay?” He asks, walking over and wrapping his arms around her. She grunts in response and leans back against him, her hands linking with his over her abdomen. He chuckles and kisses the side of her head, “Is Hazel okay?”

Emily nods, “She’s tucked up in bed with a heating pad and some candy she thinks I didn’t see her sneaking out of the pantry.”

He smiles and kisses her head again before placing his hands on her hips and turning her to face him, “So we’re forgetting the ‘no food in the bedrooms rule’ tonight?”

She raises an eyebrow at him, “Do you want to go tell her to put it back?” She asks, smirking when he visibly swallows thickly, “That’s what I thought.”

Aaron wraps his arms around her tightly as she leans against him, her forehead against his chest as she breathes him in, her fists tight in the back of his t-shirt in a way that lets him know she’s upset about something. He gives her a moment, lets her take what she needs as he runs his hand up and down her back, and then he pulls away just enough so he can look at her.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He asks, repeating the question she hadn’t answered when he walked into the bathroom.

Emily blows out a breath, her shoulders heavy as if he’d just asked her the meaning of life, and she shrugs before she moves her hands to rest on his shoulders, idly plucking at a stray thread at the neckline of his t-shirt.

“She’s growing up.”

He stops himself from smiling, well aware that moments like this were absolutely not the time to make fun of her, no matter how lovingly, and he cups her cheek, forcing her to look at him.

“Baby, she’s 12.”

She groans, scrunching her nose up in distaste at her own mood, something she hadn’t been able to shift since the moment Hazel had called her that morning, “I know, I do know that,” she replies, sounding so sad his heart clenches in his chest, “But…they don’t need me as much anymore,” she says, pressing her lips together in a firm line, “I love them all so much, and I’m so proud of them, but I kind of miss when they were small and needed us to tuck them in or read them a story.”

He wraps his hand around hers and leads her to the bedroom, guiding her to sit on the edge of the bed as he joins her.

“Em, sweetheart,” he starts reassuringly, “They’ll always need you,” he says, and she scoffs, shaking her head as she wipes away a tear she feels ridiculous for shedding, “It’s true,” he says, smiling when she looks up at him, “Who is it that Jack calls every other day even though he’s in college?”

“Me,” she replies, clearing her throat in a vain attempt to push her emotions back down.

“And who is it Ollie wants every time he’s sad? And who did Hazel call earlier when she needed someone?”

“Me,” she says again, fighting a smile and failing as he smiles right back at her.

“And who do I need every day, not to mention when things go wrong?”

She blushes, unsure how she could still be so affected by him, “Me.”

He furrows his brows together, “No, Dave,” he deadpans, breaking into laughter, the sound that always warmed her from the inside out when her mouth drops open and she playfully tries to slap his shoulder, stopped when he catches her hand, “Of course it’s you,” he says, leaning in to kiss her, his lips stamped against hers, “You’re the glue, sweetheart. The thing that keeps us all together.”

She wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a hug that eases the last bit of tension in her chest. “How is it you always know what to say?”

He kisses her temple and smiles against her skin before he pulls back, “Well I am your husband, it would be pretty sad if I didn’t.”

There’s a gentle knock on the door and it’s pushed open, and Oliver pokes his head around the door, a concerned look in his eyes that Aaron always said was all her.

“Ollie,” Aaron starts, turning to look at his youngest, “You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“I know,” he says, his hands clasped in front of him as he nervously picks at his nails, “But I got up to go to the bathroom and…”

He drifts off and his parents exchange a look, and Emily turns back to their son and smiles encouragingly, “And…”

“I wondered if you’d tuck me in, Mom?” He asks, looking down at his hands as he shrugs, “And maybe read me a story?”

It had been so long since he’d asked for it she knows that he’d overheard their conversation, and it takes everything in her to not burst into tears. He was so sweet, so perfect, she often wondered how she’d made him. She swallows thickly, and feels her husband briefly hold her a little tighter.

“I’d love that sweet boy,” she says, grateful that her voice is even as she stands up and walks over to him. She ruffles his hair and he leans into her side, his smile wide as he looks up at her, clearly pleased that he’d cheered her up. She turns to look at Aaron, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

He nods and smiles at them, their matching expressions full of joy enough to make his heart swell in his chest.

“Take all the time you need.”

-x-

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smolwritingchick · 6 months

Text

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 41- And What If I Don't?

Chapter Summary: Out to dinner with her family, Jen is questioned about her personal life as a few members want her to date someone within her race. But she questions what the problem is with not. JenKook spend a night in the dorm alone while the guys are out.

Words: 9,000+

Genre: Major Jungkook fluff!!

-------- Jen ran around backstage to find her family as soon as she read a text from Vienna that they were there. It’s been ages. She couldn’t contain her excitement. It’s been so long since she’s seen her family. Tonight, was the BTS Begins concert and finally, her family could attend a BTS concert together.

“There she is!” Her dad shouted, running up to her. He caught her as she jumped into his arms, spinning her around.

“Jennie!” Her sisters squeal, joining in the hug with their mom.

Jennie couldn’t help but tear up as her chest tightened from the overwhelming emotion of seeing her family. When she pulled away, Alani giggled and wiped her developing tears.

“Girl, don’t ruin your makeup.”

“I’m just so happy you guys are here.” Jennie sniffed.

“Wow, just look at you. You’re really growing up. Still, have a good head on your shoulders I see.”

Her mom ran a hand through her hair, admiring how grown up she looked.

“And your butt got bigger.” Vienna pointed out, poking it.

“Hey! Hands off.” Jennie laughed.

“Your grandparents, aunts and uncles also made it. They’re in their seats.” Her dad informed her.

“Awesome. We’re going out to dinner afterward. Here, let me introduce you to the members. Come on!” Jennie gestured for them, to follow her.

She headed into a room to see the members chilling around. “Hey, my family is here.”

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Hobi squealed and rushed out of his seat, eager to meet them.

“Don’t make them deaf.” She laughed and opened the door, gesturing for her family to come in. “Guys, this is my mom, my dad, and older sisters, Vienna and Alani.”

“So, these are the guys who got you in good hands.” Her dad nodded in approval. “It’s very nice to finally meet you.”

“We’ve been expecting you.” Namjoon politely greeted. “I’m Namjoon. Leader of BTS. It’s nice to meet you. Jennie has been working very hard. We’re very proud of her growth.”

“Oh, don’t gas me up.” Jennie felt her face warm up from his praise. “This is Jimin.” She pointed to him as he shyly waved and said, “Hello.” In English. “That’s Yoongi, Jin, this is our burst of energy, Hobi.”

“Hello, I’m your Hope.” He smiled.

“Taehyung. He was the first friend I made in Korea.” She smiled.

“Hello!” He happily waved, showing off his boxy grin.

“And this is Jungkook.” She pointed him out as he smiled politely, greeting them respectfully.

“It’s nice to meet you, fellas. Thank you for taking care of our daughter.” Her mom beamed. Namjoon and Jen had to translate so the members and her family could understand each other. “We hope she’s not a handful.”

“No! I’m not a handful.” Jen defended herself.

“We’ll let the members be the judge of that.” Her dad laughed.

Her sisters caught Jungkook watching Jennie with a smile and they glance at each other knowingly.

“I saw that,” Vienna murmured to her.

“I did too.” Alani nodded. “So that’s Jungkook in the flesh.”

Jen’s mom had informed the members that she was an orthodontist and that if they needed any help with their teeth, to give her a call. When the members found out, they were amazed at her profession.

“Whaaaa, so that’s why munchkin’s smile is so pretty,” Hobi confirmed, staring at Jen and her mom back and forth.

The concert was going great as the members finished performing Boy in Luv. The members gathered around the stage after taking a short water break. Each of them was sweating from performing all night. And now it was getting time to close the show. Jen stood next to Jimin and Hobi.

“Okay, so that was it for BTS Live Trilogy Episode I. BTS Begins.” Rapmon said as the fans began to aw in protest. “Thank you so much again for being here together with us. Let’s say our goodbyes one by one. Let’s start with our baby girl, Jennie.”

Miss Bangtan looked around at the fans with a smile as they cheered for her.

“Did you guys have fun!?” she asked.

“Yes!” They loudly respond.

“I love you, all!”

“We love you, too!”

She looked content as she exhaled. “Okay. I’m not great at expressing my feelings. There’s always so much I want to say but sometimes I can’t express it in words. But I’m always overwhelmed with happiness because of your passion. ARMY, you give me that strength, that extra push to overcome anything. You make this experience exciting. It’s thanks to you ARMY, BTS is where we’re at today. Thank you for always cheering us on. We’re grateful for that. Our families are here tonight...” She trailed off as she paused, looking down at her feet.

“Awwww! Don’t cry!” The crowd started to say as they noticed her trying to pull herself together.

The members looked on, smiling because it was tears of joy.

“I’m trying not to cry!” She laughed, looking back up at the crowd. “But, the fact that I get to perform in front of my family tonight, is truly special. I dunno where they are in the crowd but I’m very happy that I get to show you how much I’ve grown as a performer. Thank you for always being there for me in spirit even if you’re not always here to visit me or vice versa. I love you.” She smiled and bowed, waving at the crowd.

Next was Jungkook, “I’m not Rap Monster, the guy with sexy brains, so I’m not really good with words. After many international tours and shows, it’s been a long time since we’ve had this amazing concert in Korea. I was surprised at your voice again and was touched again. I’m not good with words so I’ll repeat what I had written before. It’s because of you that I am here. And we are here.” He said as he received cheers. “Thank you so much and we’ll prepare more great shows like this. So please cheer for us with loud voices. Thank you.”

“I’ll go next,” Jin spoke up. “I make an effort to communicate a lot with our ARMY via our official online café. I sometimes blurt out some comment but that’s a lot coming from me. I talked on the phone with my mother and she said, ‘I feel so grateful that there are so many friends who stand by you’. So, I feel grateful that you’re here. Thank you.”

“Did you have fun today?” Hobi asked

“Yes!” The crowd responded

“Did you have fun?”

“Yes!”

“I love you, too. Before the show started I was really nervous but now that I’m up here performing, it’s fun. I have something I really want to say, today. I was really happy today. In fact, what singers feel on their show are ‘really fun, excited, hot passionate’, these types of emotions mostly. But I was really happy today. It’s you. I am happy all thanks to you. It’s thanks to your cheers, that our songs can echo louder.”

The crowd started chanting don’t cry because it looked like Hobi was tearing up as his voice became shaky. “It’s thanks to your applause, that we get more attention and focus from the public and the fans.” He went on. “Thank you so much for coming and rooting so passionately for us. Today my family came here. I don’t know where they are but BTS’ families are here. My mom, dad and older sister. It was so nice to show them how we perform and I felt really happy. Thank you. I will improve more as well as BTS improving more. I’ll show you with actions, not words. I love you.”

“I am so sorry to keep you waiting for long,” Jimin spoke as Jennie chuckled and shook her head.

“It’s been so nice to see you like this. You know what I think? In the back, I went over what I was going to say on stage and I wanted to say something cool like Rap Monster.”

“I didn’t say anything yet,” Rapmon spoke on the mic with a smile.

“But I’m not good at that.” Jimin looked around.

“It’s okay, you have a great body,” Rapmon added as Jimin shot him a thumbs up.

“And I’ve made a lot of mistakes which I’ll regret later at home. Anyway, as J-Hope said, I’ve had such a happy time to be able to perform in front of you again, like this. Can you love us with the same passion on the next album?”

“Yes!” The crowd cheered.

“You’ll continue to love us?”

“Yes!”

“To all of those who love our songs and love our performances, I want to say thank you and I love you. Thank you so much.”

“Yes.” Yoongi looked around. “Of all the countries, we’ve been on a tour, there’s no place like Korea. I love it here. In fact, about this time last year, we had our fan meeting here. Some of you may remember and some of you might not have been there but today feels like that day and I love it. it’s been a year since our fan meeting but I honestly think that without you fans, BTS won’t exist. We’ll have no shape or form. But ARMY, thanks to you fans, we, BTS, can exist. And Suga, not Min Yoongi, can exist. Thank you so, so much and I want to tell you again, I love you. I love you, guys.”

“Yes, you guys...” V spoke. “I was really looking forward to this concert. This is our second concert after Episode 2. I have been waiting for this concert. And now we’ve had this show and I think ARMY is the best. Yes, and my mom and dad are here today. Can I tell them something?”

“Yes!”

“Dad, mom! Thank you for bringing me into this world with ARMY.” He grinned and bowed. “And I promise to make even better stages than American TV series. I’ll make them.”

“I’m done.” Jennie laughed.

“Why you?” Yoongi asked.

“What about us?” Jin asked.

“We should all make them together,” Jimin suggested with a giggle.

“VTS,” Hobi announced.

“Just kidding,” V said. “BTS will go on for 10, 20 years so...you’ll stay with us, right?”

“Yes!”

“Thank you so much.”

“I feel so proud.” Rap Monster finally spoke. “Last year here, in our fan meeting everyone was like, ‘what should I say? ‘What do I tell them?’, ‘How should I speak? I want to say something cool.’, But now they can all express how grateful they feel to those who are here. I recently released RM. It’s the first work in 8 years since I’ve started to rap. That’s not what I’m trying to say but there is a Problematic man and I have my individual schedule recently. So, I was really worried to work for both that and concert preparation. I should be more invested in the concert to show you a good performance but I was worried if my schedule would make it possible. But a few days ago I thought, how lucky I am to have these kinds of worries. I was grateful that I get to be worried if I could pull off this concert well.”

He went on, “Before then, I told my members, this is so hard, that is so hard, I am so busy, I’m so tired. I’d say this to them a lot. But one day I was sitting in the workroom and realized how happy and lucky I was to be able to feel pressure about this concert and to want to do something more. So, after that, I felt really happy getting ready and waiting for the concert. It’s been so fun and now I’m having my own schedule but the other members are preparing a lot of individual things and have a lot to show you in the future. As a leader, I started my individual activities first but the other members are working hard and practicing for their thing, getting better and ready. So, please look forward to seeing them doing great things. Thank you again for taking your precious time and being here with us.”

Jimin interrupted him because he wanted to give a shout out to his dad. “Father! Thank you so much for letting me be on this stage, father! Also, I am so grateful and happy that Rap Monster is our leader and that I have BTS members.”

“Yes, I have my parents and relatives here as well. And I want to tell them thank you and I love you. With this in mind, we’ll give you our last song. Hopefully, you enjoy it.” Rapmon said as the lights went out.

The members stood around in a circle as Jen stood in between Suga and Jimin. As soon as Jungkook began to sing the first words of Born Singer, the crowd erupted into cheers. The stage went around slowly as it spun them in a slow circle.

I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek (I swear)

eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good, whoa whoa, Yeah yeah yeah

Jennie looked down at her feet as she listened to Suga passionately begin to rap,

nansaeng cheoeum bangtaniran ireumeuro seon mudae

Samnyeon jeon cheotmudaeui maeumeul dashi geomunhae

Yeojeonhi daegu chonnom raeppeowa dareulge eobseotji but

Amachueoran daneo wie peuroran daneoreul deot sseotji

Geutorok weonhadeon mudae raepeul hamyeo choom choolddae

Ajik sala isseumeul neuggyeo pigonhago godwin chooltwindae

Ddawineun gyeondilmanhae naesaramdeuli jikyeobonigga

Momi apado beotilmanhae hamseongdeuli millyeo onigga

Debwi jeonhooui chauijeom aidolgwa raeppeo sai gyeonggyeeh

Salado yeojeonhi nae gongcheken raimi chaisseo

Daegishilgwa mudae saieseon peneul deulgo gasareul sseo

Ireon naega nideul nooneneun myeoga dallajweosseo?

Damn shit nan yeojeonhae

Naega byeonhaetdago? (what?) gaseo jeonhae

Byeonhameobshi bonjileul jikyeo I'm still rapperman

Samnyeonjeongwa dareumeobshi raebhago noraehae I'm out

Putting the mic up to her lip, she began to sing softly, “I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek, I swear. Eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo, yeogi isseo...”

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good

After Rapmon’s rap, the vocal line sung the chorus.

I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek (I swear)

eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo (yeogi isseo)

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good

Placing the mic back to her mouth, she began to her verse, “Every time I look in the mirror I see that little girl staring at me with big dreams. Be an Idol, I said, well look at me now. But it’s not over yet, this journey won’t stop here. I have a long way to go, I must not fear. And these haters dare try to define me and claim my color is wrong?” Her voice ended up growling as she closed her eyes, holding the mic with both hands.

“Despite the tears I’ve shed, I will remain strong. Every doubt these haters have, I will prove em wrong. From the countless guitar strumming to the dance practices, I knew the success was forthcoming. My daddy always told me to follow my heart. My mama always told me to take the risks. My sisters always told me these roadblocks would be persevered. And my brothers always told me not to let these haters define me.”

She opened her eyes, removing one hand from the mic. “I’m still that same little girl but with bigger dreams and motivations.” She placed a hand over her heart. “I’ll continue to do my own thing, no one’s stopping my shine.”

I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek (I swear)

eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo (yeogi isseo)

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good

uriga ddwieotdeon nal uri gachi gyeokeotdeon nal

Samnyeoniran shigan modu hanaga dwaetdeon maeum

Geureoge heulrin piddami nal jeokshine

Mudaega ggeutnan dwi noonmooli beonjine

Maesungan mada jashinege dajimhae choshimeul ilji anhge

Hansan nadamge cheoeumui naehge buggeureobji ahnge

So we go we go we go

Deo wiro wiro wiro

After J-Hope’s rap, all the members turn around, singing the chorus.

I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek (I swear)

eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo (yeogi isseo)

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good

The members placed their mics up in the air as the crowd took over to sing. Jennie felt herself tearing up. Then they sing the chorus one last time.

I'm a born singer jom neujeobeorin gobaek (I swear)

eonjenna meolgiman haesseotdeon shingiruga noon abe isseo (yeogi isseo)

I'm a born singer eojjeomyeon ireun gobaek

geuraedo neomu haengbokhae I'm good

The crowd cheered loudly as the confetti shot out from the ceiling. The members gather around, holding hands as they take their bows.

“Thank you! Thank you!” The members shouted, waving at the crowd. Jennie tagged a few hands, with a big smile on her face, walking around the arena as the members scattered around. She ended up blowing kissing with Hobi and she even grabbed some lucky phones from fans to take a selfie.

Afterwards, the members gather around again. “Yes, for over 2 and a half hours, I was truly happy. I hope you were too. Thank you so much again.” Rapmon said as they took their final set of bows, thanking the crowd once again.

“Yah, yah, yah, what are you guys doing?” The teacher spoke up from the stage. “I told you guys to get back inside after cleaning the music room! Hurry inside. And you guys, write down what is on the blackboard.”

The members walked up the stage as the teacher kept asking various questions. “Are you BTS or something? Hurry up inside, you troublemakers. I wonder what they’ll become when they grow up. I’m losing sleep because of you.”

The members walk up the steps and take a seat in the classroom before looking back at the crowd as the concert ends.

--------

After the show, Jennie offered to take the family out to dinner to catch up before they would have to leave early in the morning.

“You have no idea how happy I am that you all came. I know how busy we all are but thank you for coming.” She smiled.

Seeing her family tonight gave her an extra push to perform even harder, to show how much she’s grown as a performer. It was special performing in front of them.

“Of course, I wished that we came to your other concerts but we were fortunate to be able to attend this one.” Her mom smiles.

“So, what did you think of the concert?” She smiles nervously.

“Absolutely incredible!” Her dad praised her.

“Yeah, can I just say that I felt attacked throughout that entire show?” Vienna raised her hand.

“It’s great to see you so loved by fans. Wonderful job out there.” Her Uncle added.

“That dancing of yours, the body rolls, the hips, where did all that come from?” Alani asked in amazement.

“I agree, I never seen you dance like that with Amity. What changed?” Her aunt, from her mom’s side, decided to ask.

Jen smiled, thinking of Hobi. “A friend just told me to dance and I just broke the chain that was holding me back.”

“It’s going to take some time to see my granddaughter dance like that. But wonderful job out there.” Her grandma on her mom’s side spoke.

“So, what are you working on now, in BTS?” Alani asked.

“Well, I’m learning to rap.” Jennie proudly revealed.

“Eh...singing suits you better.” Her aunt declared, earning an annoyed look from her sister. “It’s like everyone wants to be a rapper these days. You can do so much more.”

“I love to sing but I’d like to rap too. Been wanting to for a few years.”

“Why? You’re great at singing, why don’t you just stay with what you’re skilled in?”

“Because I want to branch out and learn more musically.” She strongly stated her plans. “Yoongi told me how different I sound when I rap. My voice becomes rawer and we’re working on putting more emotion in my voice when I rap.”

“Rap? Hm...you don’t look like a rapping type of person...” Her grandfather on her dad’s side murmured.

“It’s best not to judge a book by its cover, Pop Pop.”

Alani and Vienna snort in unison, feeling proud of their baby sister for standing up for what she wants to do in her life. If she wanted to rap, let her rap. It was interesting, yet sad to see their family divided on what Jen wanted to do.

“If she wants to rap, let her rap.” Their mom spoke up. “Your father and I support you. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Jen smiled gratefully. “I’m also trying to improve my dancing and vocal skills. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time, y’know?”

“Are you making a lot of friends in Korea?” Her aunt on her dad’s side asked.

“Oh yeah, I have quite a handful. I want to get to know more idols as well. I do get stared at a lot. Sometimes I think it’s because of my hair.” She let out a chuckle.

“Or it’s because of the skin color.” Her mom’s sister blurted out.

“Really?” Her mom snapped.

“I’m just saying.”

“Okay, but did you really need to bring that up? Ignore her, please keep talking.”

Jen let out a sigh. She hoped they wouldn’t begin bickering. “I mean, it could be that too. But it doesn’t really bother me. I’ve been getting more accepted lately, and I’m happy about that. I seem well loved now than I was when I first debuted.”

“How’s school in Korea?” Her dad asked.

“English is simple, my guitar class is starting to get more challenging. But school is...school.” She shrugged.

“How long are you doing this BTS thing for? Will you be leaving the group anytime soon to come back to America?” Her aunt spoke up again. She still wasn’t fond of Jen being in Korea in the first place.

“You never know what the future may hold. I hope that BTS lasts for a long time.” Jen answered calmly.

“You think you’ll ever leave BTS?”

“No way.” She answered immediately. “They’re my family. Why would I leave?”

“You really like asking questions about her leaving a group she’s happy with, huh Nicole?” Her mom frowned at her sister, shaking her head.

“I’m just curious.” Nicole shrugged.

“She’s staying in Korea.”

Jennie face palmed while her sisters, sitting on each side of her started chuckling.

“They’re worse when they’re back home,” Vienna informed.

“I’m sure,” Jennie murmured.

“So how is Big Hit Entertainment?” Her uncle spoke up with a smile.

Jennie looked up at her Uncle, thankful he changed the subject. “I love the company. Everyone is so supportive, even the staff and managers. And I’m very happy that they take my hair and skin into consideration. Being in BTS, we always help and support each other. And we have heart to hearts. I feel like we’re stronger together when we work together.”

Suddenly Nicole sighed. “Sometimes I do wish you went solo instead. You have potential. I think being in a group holds you back.”

“I beg to differ.” Jennie stood her ground. “Being in a group helps me grow as we all grow together. I used to dance stiffly until Hobi helped me out. My breathing when I sing and as I practice rapping has improved thanks to Jungkook and Yoongi respectively. And I feel more like myself thanks to the members. Every one of us has changed musically and we’re only improving.”

“Going solo can give you more opportunities.” Her grandma on her dad’s side spoke up.

“I agree.” Her grandfather from her mom’s side nodded. “I feel as though you can reach more success going solo.”

Jennie let out another sigh.

Seriously? Nothing they could say would make her not want to be in a group. She enjoyed working with a team. She understands that families will say things like this. They just want to see their younger ones strive for success but this right here was unnecessary.

“Sorry, but a group is where I’ll be staying.” She asserted.

“Suit yourself.”

“Lately, we’ve been getting word that Songstress Entertainment would like you and Angelina to come back for an Amity reunion. Are you considering? Fans would love to see it.” Nicole revealed.

“Hell no. Fuck outta here.” Jen immediately retorted.

“Don’t curse Jennifer.” Her grandparents on both sides lectured in unison.

“Sorry.” She waved their lectures away.

“Don’t you think you’re being selfish to the fans? They’ve been anticipating it. Hoping you all would move past the bad blood.” Her aunt added.

Jen stared at her as irritation filled her voice. “No.”

As the dinner progressed, with Jennie taking a break from being the center of discussion, a timid fan came over, bowing politely, speaking in broken English.

“I’m sorry to bother, but I want you to have. I hope it the right candy.” The girl presented her with a bag of smarties.

“Oh wow, thank you so much.” She bowed, accepting them with a smile.

“You were amazing tonight. I hope you get lot of rest and eat well. I am looking forward to next comeback.” The fan left, making Jennie feel good inside.

“Well, that was sweet.” Vienna smiled.

“Don’t you get annoyed by that? Fans coming over like that while you’re eating?” Her dad’s sister asked.

“Not at the moment. It always brings joy to my heart to see fans do the little things for you.” Jennie replied with no hesitation.

The fan seemed to be in a hurry to get home although she waited patiently as long as she could. It was a sweet gesture. Everyone in the BTS fandom knew of her smartie obsession.

“So...you got a boyfriend, yet?” Her father blurted out, causing everyone to laugh.

Jennie turned to him in shock. “Dad!”

“What? I’m curious.”

“Yeah, when are you going to get a man? We gotta check him out, make sure he’s good for you." Her Uncle chimed in with a smile.

“Alani got herself a fine, young black man at her college.” Her mom informed her. “He’s majoring in Political Science. Such a polite young man. Very handsome too.”

“Oh, is that so?” Jennie murmured, disinterested.

Here we go...she was not in the mood to talk about anyone’s relationship. This was normal in her family. There were family members who weren’t even here tonight who would talk about how they looked forward to the three sisters dating. Vienna had suffered from her family setting her up with various guys back in high school and she refused every one of them when she vowed to never date again after being cheated on. It was a headache for the three sisters.

“Why are you telling everyone my business? It’s not a big deal.” Alani frowned.

She tried to keep her relationship a secret but somehow, some way, someone spilled the beans and showed photos on her private Instagram. She was livid when her secret got out.

“Oh hush, be proud.” Her grandma on her dad’s side waved her comment away. “We’re still trying to get Vienna to get herself a man. She’s so stubborn.”

“Ain’t happenin’. I’m only hooking up with people. I don’t do relationships...” Vienna shrugged.

“We should just leave it alone. Clearly, she doesn’t want to date.” Her Uncle said.

“I hope you find yourself with someone in your race,” Nicole told Jennie.

“Young love is a thing, y’know. I want you to be happy.” Her mom added.

“I am happy.” Jennie insisted.

“You could be happy-er...with a black man.” Her mom smiled.

“I’m happy-er with myself.” She bluntly countered.

“Has anyone been interested in you, yet?” Vienna asked.

“Uhhhh not that I know of? I mean I’m pretty sure the guys in Korea would want to date someone in their race anyway. But whatever happens, happens.”

“You mean to tell us that NO ONE is interested??”

“I mean I don’t think so. I’ve had a few guys have a small crush on me but I don’t think they’re looking for a relationship. I think they want to experiment if you know what I mean. Get an idea of how it feels to be with a foreigner.”

“I think you should put yourself out there, find yourself a nice fella. You’re not getting any younger.” Nicole pointed out. “Don’t drown yourself in your work. Go out.”

“I’m still a teen, jeesh. And no. I’m too busy anyway, BTS is only working harder. We have no time to date anyone. None. Nada. And whenever the time comes when someone has my heart, then I guess I’ll be dating. But jeesh, let me live.” Jennie exclaimed.

“Do you still talk to that fella from American Hustle Life? The one that was in the Boy in Luv music video with you?” Her mom asked.

“Kevin? Yeah. We text each other and see each other’s Instagram posts. We always keep in touch.”

“What about him?”

Jennie stared at her mom with an ‘Are you kidding me?’ facial expression.

“Um, no? We think of each other as siblings. We're not interested in each other. Stop trying to force something.”

She did miss him and hoped to see him soon, though. She would have to text him after dinner to see what plans they could make since they both were busy. He with school and work, and she with BTS, but thankfully technology was there so they could stay in touch.

“Darn...”

“Well, I’m just really looking forward to her dating, whenever she’s ready. Maybe it can inspire Vienna to date. Don’t let a cheater make you not want to date anymore. There’s good men out there.” Her aunt on her dad’s side added, causing Vienna to stubbornly frown.

“Just make sure you find yourself a fine, young black man when you’re back in America.” Her mom requested.

Jennie looked down on her food as she spoke up, “And what if I don’t date someone within my race?”

Her comment caused everyone to stop talking and look at her. Feeling the intense stares, she looked up from her food.

“Is that a problem?” She went on.

“You really want more heat on you if you date someone outside your race? Do you really want more hate on you? People talking about you? I wonder what people would think if you dated a White or Asian guy. You’re already dealing with racism. You really want more stuff to deal with?” Her grandma questioned.

“So, you think you’re too good to date someone within your own race?” Nicole questioned.

“Did I say that? No.” Jennie fired back. “As long as someone sees me for who I am and treats me right, that’s all that should matter. Who cares about the race? I don’t care what people will think about me or how people will react. If I’m happy with the guy, and he’s happy with me, that should be all that matters. A relationship is with two people. Not fans, family and friends.” She stated her opinion, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

How the heck did this family conversation turn into her personal life? That’s not what she wanted. She did not want to end up snapping at anyone because they disagreed with her opinions as of late.

“Well I for one, don’t care who you date, as long as they treat you right.” Her father reassured her.

“We agree.” Her sisters add, and so do her Aunt and Uncle on her dad’s side.

“Thank you. Some people with some sense.” Jennie grumbled in irritation.

“Alani, Vienna, the both of you have your license, right?” Their grandfather asked as they nodded. “Jennie, are you learning to drive in Korea?”

“Not yet.” She replied.

“You’re past 16. I know you’re in the group and all but don’t forget about other priorities.”

Jennie set her chopsticks down. “Why do I need to follow the crowd? Let me do my own thing on my own time. I’ll get there. Just not today.” She retorted. “Let me do my own thing in BTS. Let me live my life how I want to. And when I get there, let me date who I want to date. Just because Alani is dating a black man doesn’t mean my dating experience will be the same. I could end up with someone that’s not my race. I could end up with someone that is the same race. I’ll end up who God wants me to be with. And besides, what’s the problem if I do end up being in an interracial relationship? It’s 2015, fam. Come on. I know what I’m doing in my life. I didn’t take you guys out to eat for you to tell me what I should and should not do in my life.”

Alani and Vienna smiled at her statement. They were happy she was standing her ground. A few of her family members looked disappointed at her saying that she could end up with someone not the same race as her. They feared the public’s opinion and didn’t want her to deal with any hate.

“Now can we stop talking about my absent love life?” She demanded.

Thankfully her family backed off.

Jennie turned to her sisters. “How’s college?”

“We had a fire drill and I kid you not I was in the shower. How do you think that made me feel to have to leave the dorm building, with shampoo in my hair, and in a towel? Complete bullcrap.” Alani groaned.

“I’m kind of glad I don’t deal with that.”

“Oh, while we’re talking about school, I wanted to tell you that my play is coming up. I want you to come.” Vienna beamed. “It’ll be around June.”

“Gotcha. I’ll make sure to see if I can make it. I hope so. I want to see you in action.”

“I hope you can make it. And don’t let them get to you about the dating comments. It’s worse for me. But just continue standing your ground. I’m happy that you spoke up. Maybe they’ll finally take a hint.”

“I hope so.”

“So, I must ask, what’s it like living with seven guys? Seven hot guys?”

“It’s interesting. Every day is a new adventure, that’s for sure.”

“You’re not hooking up with anyone are you?” Alani asked.

“No, Alani.” Jennie rolled her eyes.

“I’m just checking because-“

“They’re all so hot, how do you control yourself?” Vienna cut her off.

“I mean, they’re my brothers so...” Miss Bangtan shrugged.

“No really, how do you control yourself and how do they control themselves when you all live in the dorm? I’m sure they’re aware of your big booty. You sure-“

“Bruh, we’re all like brother and sister!”

“Except one,” Alani murmured as an inside joke with Vienna, thinking of a certain member.

“Female fans must be upset to know you live with them,” Vienna added.

“It took a year to reassure them that we have a brother/sister bond and nothing is going on. They seem to have laid off me. Boy did they want to kill me though...” Jennie sighed.

“Well just know I have bail money if I need to kick someone’s ass.” Her mom spoke up.

“That won’t be necessary, honey.” Her husband placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve been doing some research, and I read that Korean men have to serve in the military. What will you do when the BTS members have that?” Alani asked.

“It’s too early in the game to even think about that. For now, we’re taking it one day at a time.” Jennie answered. She didn’t even want to think about when that day came for the members.

The dinner had shifted back into a positive one without any more dating questions. Her family was surprised when Jennie told them she would pay for everyone’s meal as she went up to pay at the register with her sisters by her side.

“So, how’s Jungkook?” Alani smiled.

“He’s doing great. I’ll tell him you asked about him.” Jennie answered happily.

“Did anything happen between you two?”

“Um, well we game and we work out together...”

“Oh, so you see him all sweaty and such?”

“That’s what usually happens when you work out. You sweat.”

“Y’know Jungkook is really cute, don’t you think?”

“I mean he’s just a baby to us but don’t YOU think he’s cute? You get to work out with him, check out his muscles.” Vienna added.

“Yeah, I bet she loves his hugs. His strong arms wrapped around her-“

“Will you two shut up!? Thirsty ass hoes.” Jennie snapped, feeling her face warm up. “He’s my best friend.”

“Mm hm...Vienna, she doesn’t get it, yet.” Alani confirmed.

“Yeah, she doesn’t get it.”

“You guys are weird.” Jennie went back to the table.

Why did they have to bring up Jungkook suddenly?

“Mm hm...I’m betting they’ll get together before this year is over.” Vienna guaranteed.

“Well, I believe they’ll get together in early 2016. I’m the smarter one, I know I’m right.”

“Suuurrreeee....”

“Jennie...she seems like she’ll be in denial. So, it may take her some time to realize. But you know Jungkook’s lingering stares are more than enough.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Did you not see the way he was staring at her before the concert? Heart eyes muthafucka.” She quoted the Vine video.

Vienna giggled. “I ship it. And they are getting older, so, it should be a matter of time. I wonder if he’s even aware of how he feels.”

“Soon enough he’ll realize it’s more than just an admiration.”

“Man, I wish we could stay longer to see those two. We’ll have to just bombard her with questions when we’re back home.”

“That would be nice if we could stay.”

----

After saying her goodbyes to her family, leaving the dinner on a happy note despite the passionate discussions from earlier, Jennie went back to the dorm, not expecting any of the members to be back because they were probably out with their families. But then she saw Jungkook, gaming on the couch.

“Oh, hey. I thought everyone would still be out.” She set her bag down.

“I came back 20 minutes ago. The Hyungs are still out with their families. How was your dinner?”

“It was...fine.” She shrugged, strolling over to the couch as he offered her the second player controller. She listened to him discuss how his family dinner went while they played 3 rounds of Dead or Alive 5. Jungkook couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t as enthusiastic while gaming with him and decided to pause the game.

“All right, talk to me.” He demanded, placing his controller on the table.

“Huh?” She turned to him, in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t see your smile. Something is wrong. You always smile when you game with me. You haven’t at all. Please talk to me about it, I want you to be happy. Not troubled.”

Jennie exhaled and placed her controller down. “Sometimes I wish you didn’t notice the little things.”

“Well, it’s hard not to notice you upset when your cute smile isn’t showing on your pretty face.” He blurted out.

He soon realized what he just said and glanced away shyly. He began to feel flushed but looked back up at her in surprise when she chuckled softly.

“You’re really sweet to say that to me. Thanks, Kookie.”

“A-anytime. So, you wanna vent?”

“Yeah, that’ll be nice.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno I just feel so...frustrated.”

“Because?”

She let out another sigh. “It’s like people wanna tell me what I should and should not do. A few family members weren’t too fond of knowing that I was learning to rap. They don’t see me as a rapper. It irks me. Why can’t you just be happy for me? A homeless person can be wearing the same clothes for months but could have a talented voice, so don’t judge a book by its cover, you feel me?”

He nodded, gesturing her to keep going. “Okay, I don’t have my license yet but my sisters do. I’m happy for them, but I don’t need to do everything just because everyone else is doing things. I have a lot on my plate here. I’m doing what I love. I’m growing with all of you guys in BTS, musically, mentally and physically. I want to branch out, try new things, and go back to old things I used to do when I was younger. And I’m doing that. But all they wanna ask me is when I’m going solo and when I’ll be back in America. Like really? That crap hurts to hear.”

Jungkook blinked at her. It surprised him that they would ask those questions. And it made him happy that she was eager to remain here in Korea with BTS. He had no idea how he would react if she did go back home.

“Being in a group does not hold me back, it motivates me to work even harder. I’m at my fullest potential with BTS. But some of them just don’t see that. It’s annoying.” She shook her head.

She went on, “What’s really bothering me is that some of them want me to date someone within my race. But what’s the problem if I end up in an interracial relationship? You never know what will happen in the future. Anything can happen in a blink of an eye. The love bug can bite you just like that and you’re hooked. Someone can just...take your breath away. Have a special place in your heart and...next thing you know, you’ll be in love. Why can’t we just...look past the skin color, look past the race, and just look at who the person is, personality wise. How that person makes you feel. How happy they make you feel. You get me?”

“Yeah...” He whispered. “I understand exactly just how you feel.”

“I don’t understand what the big deal is. They should be happy that I’m happy, even if I do date someone from a different race. Some have some sense, the others, like my mom and aunt, however...they need to stop being so close minded. It is 2015.”

“Well, like you said, love is patient and unpredictable.” He spoke up. “All you want is someone who makes you happy, someone, to be patient with you and respect you. I’m sure your family can understand that.”

She looked at him in surprise. “You remember that? That was back in 2014 when I said that.”

“Well...” He tilted his head to the side out of habit and smiled keenly. “It’s hard to not remember listening to you voice your opinion so passionately. Just follow your heart. Follow what you want. And whoever the guy you’ll end up with, if he’s not the same race as you, I’m sure he’ll do whatever he can to make you happy and to prove to some of your doubting family members that he’s good enough for you.”

“You know...you really...are something else, Jungkook. I swear, whoever is going to be your girlfriend is going to be one lucky lady.” She smiled and turned back to the game.

“Nah...I’ll be the lucky one.” He murmured with a lingering gaze.

After three more rounds of gaming, Jennie asked, “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah sure, let’s watch-“

“No Iron Man, this time, we watched it last time.” She cut him off, as he pouted.

“But it’s so good.”

“Jeon Jungkook.” She warned.

“Fine, fine. Let’s watch a horror movie.”

“Horror? I don’t do horror.”

Running a hand through his hair, he smiled shyly. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

“Jeon Cena to the rescue. All right. I’ll take you up on your offer. I’ll make the popcorn.” She got up from the couch and went to the kitchen while Jungkook set up the movie.

While waiting for the popcorn to finish popping, Jennie went through the cabinets to search for any snacks and poured a bowl of chips for them.

When she went to place the chips back, she noticed a small box of cookies and cream pepero. “Oh snap, we’re eating these. It’s been a while since I’ve had some pocky.”

After getting the snacks situated, she turned off the lights and sat next to him on the couch. “Just a fair warning, if I scream or jump, I’m gonna have to be in your arms.”

“I don’t mind. It’s encouraged.” He chuckled.

As the movie progressed, Jennie found herself scooting closer and closer to Jungkook throughout the scenes of suspense, trying to predict when there would be a jump scare. When there finally was one, she jumped in fright, holding onto his arm.

“You all right?” He teased.

“Oh, I’m good. I’m good.” She quickly answered as she placed her legs on the couch to get in a more comfortable position.

Jungkook enjoyed the feeling of her holding onto his arm and only hoped that she would get closer as he had a sudden urge to hold her.

“Oh God...” She groaned at the gore, placing her forehead on his shoulder. She continued to cling to him throughout the movie, while Jungkook enjoyed the skinship. She let out a scream during another jump scare, finally ending up in his arms as he chuckled and held her close. “Why are we watching this!?”

“Because it’s entertaining.”

“To you!” She exclaimed. As she snuggled against him, she ended up making commentary for the movie. “You see, if I was there, I would have just run away. Why would you go in the house!? I would’ve been like, deuces! And left so I would stay alive. There is no way in the world I would go in the house. WHY would you go in the house!? Are-are they about to go down there? RUN! Don’t go near the noise!”

“I don’t think they can hear you, Jennie.”

“Well, they should! They’d be alive if they listened to me-“ She shrieked in fright yet again. “Is this almost over!?”

“Jennie, we’re only 45 minutes into the movie.”

“Are you kidding me!? There is no way!” She grabbed the remote and saw it’s been over 40 minutes.

“Oh, mah God...why? You really tryna kill me tonight.” She said over his laughter. She grabbed the pepero box and began to munch on a couple of sticks.

“Hey.”

“Hm?” She looked up at him, with a new pepero stick, sticking out of her mouth.

He glanced at the end of the stick, immediately thinking of the last time they played the Pocky Game. He had the desire to bite the end of the stick, but his shyness got to him, preventing him from doing so.

“C-can I have some?”

Biting half of the stick, she nodded. “Yeah, sure.” She handed him the box.

They continued to watch the movie as the killer ran after the victims. As their fingers brushed against each other when digging into the box, they noticed that there was only one stick left. Jen took it out and examined it.

“Last stick. Who gets it?” She turned her head to him.

“I want it.”

“Well guess what? I want it to.”

“What are we gonna do about it?” He challenged.

“I guess there’s only one way to settle this...” She turned her body to face him. “Pepero game?”

“You’re on.” He competitively accepted her challenge, gaining confidence as his shyness started to go away.

She placed the stick in her mouth, slowly munching while he bit the other end. Feeling mischievous and bold, Jungkook’s warm hands cupped her face, causing her to look into his eyes instead of glancing at the stick. She stopped munching as he suddenly leaned forward, inching closer to her face. He bit down, almost taking the entire stick as he pulled away. Jen was left with a tiny piece, watching him chew his stick victoriously.

Taken aback at his sudden actions, she stared at him in disbelief. “H-hey! What was the for?!” She shouted. She watched the cocky grin appear on his face as he finished eating his large portion of the last stick. “You big bunny! That wasn’t fair! That’s not how you play!” She smacked him on the arm as he laughed hysterically, trying to stop her.

Grabbing one of the pillows on the couch, she hit him, multiple times. He finally grabbed a hold of her weapon and snatched it out of her hands, using her weapon against her. Their hair began to get disheveled from the assault of their pillow attacks. The 97 Liners tried to snatch the pillow out of each other’s hands until Jennie pulled him into a headlock.

“Hey!” He shouted.

“What? What was that?” She taunted, squeezing his head tighter. “Huh? I can’t hear you!” She mocked over his protests.

Her taunting would soon stop when he escaped her grip and wrestled her on the couch as they rolled around. Jennie enjoyed the days when Jungkook would show more of his playful side. And tonight, was a perfect night to boost her mood.

Jungkook easily grabbed a hold of her wrists and pinned them down by the sides of her head, laying on top of her. Both parties panted softly from their physical activity as he stared down at her. A confident smirk appeared on his face as he raised his eyebrows.

“Well, well, look who won.”

“You wish.” She tried to wiggle out of his grip but to no avail.

“I think it’s obvious that I won.”

“Nope.”

“Just admit it.”

“No.”

“Admit it.”

“No.”

“Well, do I need to...tickle it out of you?” He smiled mischievously.

“No!” She shouted in panic.

That would be torture. She wanted to stay as far away from tickling as possible.

“Then admit it, Jennie.”

“All right...” She sighed in defeat. “Victory is yours...” She announced unenthusiastically.

“The Golden Maknae always wins. If you can’t beat me, you might as well join me.” He smiled cockily.

She mocked his cocky smile, rolling her eyes as he laughed at her. When she finally saw an opening, from him believing he won, she swiftly used her strength to slide out of his grip and shoved him off the couch. Jungkook grunted as he fell off the couch in surprise while Jennie laughed hysterically at the sight. His face was priceless.

“Oops.” She shrugged. “Wait, wait, what was that you were saying a few moments ago? The Golden Maknae always what? Wins? Looks like you’re taking an L tonight, my friend.” She teased

“So that’s how you wanna play, eh?” His voice went down an octave, ceasing her laughter. He sounded serious as his competitive side began to take over.

“Wait, Kookie, it was all in good fun.” She giggled nervously.

“It was all in good fun.” He quipped.

“Stop, hahaha, really. Come on Kookie, you have to admit that was funny.” She stammered, getting off the couch.

She walked around, taking steps back as he stood up and followed her. When he launched forward, she shrieked, barely evading his attempt to grab her. She made a run for it around the living room, with him high on her tail. When she was on one side of the couch, while Jungkook was on the other side, she analyzed his movements, cautiously pondering what could she do to escape whatever he was planning to do.

“Oh, hell no-behave!” She yelled when he jumped across the couch. She made a run for it again, aiming to run to her bedroom but he caught her by wrapping an arm around her waist. “No! Knock it off! Put me down!” She shouted with laughter when she was picked up, over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He mocked, spinning her around as she banged her fists on his back.

The two ended up wrestling again once he placed her back on the couch. The two of them were determined to pin the other down. Pinning her down in a strong grip once again, Jungkook watched in amusement, leaning in close as she groaned in annoyance. She was annoyed that she couldn’t pin him down.

“Guess who won again? This guy.” He grinned.

“Seriously?” She threw her head back, sighing in annoyance.

All that was heard was their heavy breathing from their recent wrestling activity while her chest rose up and down with his.

“Relax and I may let you go.” He offered, watching her contemplate his idea.

If he wasn’t in his competitive mode, he’d shyly notice the position they were in. His body was on top of hers, making sure she was pinned down so she wouldn’t escape. They were too into the wrestling to notice their intimate position.

Jennie relaxed her body momentarily from trying to overpower him. When she felt him loosen his grip slightly, she attempted to wiggle out of his grip to shove him off the couch.

“Mm-Mm.” He shook his head, restricting her from moving. “I think you might as well get used to this position, Jennie.”

“No way, I still got some fight left in me.” She attempted to sit up but his body weight kept her in place.

“This’ll happen often. Might as well deal with it. You’re not pushing me off the couch like last time.”

She finally stopped fighting. “Why do you have to be so strong?”

“Because I’m the Golden Maknae.” He happily announced.

“Must be nice, Kook.”

He chuckled and got off her. “I actually wanted to talk to you about wrestling.”

“Oh really? What about it?” She sat up, fixing her hair.

“I know it’s early, but as you know, there’s going to be wrestling at ISAC. And there’s a 90% chance that you’ll be a part of it. I want to make sure you’re ready. I know how much you want to redeem yourself from last time.”

She fell during the running in her first appearance. He remembered how disappointed she looked that day and wanted to help her ever since. He knew how competitive she was. He was competitive too, and it was always disappointing to mess up and lose. He felt for her and knew how falling during the running relay shot down her self-esteem as she was nicknamed the black girl who fell.

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Of course. We can start in a few months, but I wanted to put it in your ear. If you’re able to take me down, these noonas you’ll face will be no match for you. First, I’ll show you to stand your ground, and then we’ll work on the wrestling.”

“Let’s do that! Thank you, I’m looking forward to it.” She beamed.

Although the training will give him an excuse to be extra close to her and show off his strength, he genuinely wants to see her win and prove that Miss Bangtan is a force to be reckoned with.

“I think it’s best to train early so when that time comes, you’ll be ready. So, we’re going to train extra hard in the gym now, okay?” He added.

“You got it.”

The horror movie seemed to still be playing while Jungkook looked around. “Surprised the hyungs aren’t back yet.”

“Yeah. I’m surprised Jin didn’t walk in on us like he always does.”

“Yeah, he usually interrupts us at the craziest times.”

Jungkook grabbed the pepero box, thinking about throwing it away but dug inside of it. “Oh wait, there’s one more stick.” He took the stick out. “We missed one. I guess you tried to beat me up for nothing.”

“Oh, I don’t regret beating you up.” She smiled innocently.

“Wow, Jennie.”

“Wow, Jungkook.”

“You’re mean.”

“Me? No, you’re mean. Let’s play again.”

“You’re on.”

“And don’t.” She playfully glared at him. “...cheat this time.”

“I wouldn’t call it cheating.” He shrugged with a smile.

“Uh huh. Don’t take the whole stick.”

“All right.”

“Jungkook, don’t.” She warned with a chuckle.

He giggled. "Okay, I promise.”

She placed the stick in her mouth and leaned in. He bit the other side as she started nibbling, initiating the game. To get him back for what he did, she stood up on her knees, placing a hand on his chest while leaning forward.

He widened his eyes at her sudden movements as he watched her bite off a large portion of the stick.

“Now we’re even.” She smiled victoriously and got off the couch, to go to the kitchen.

“What? Really, Jennie?” He huffed in annoyance, chewing the small piece he had in his mouth.

“Really.” She confirmed as she popped another bag of popcorn.

They finish the horror movie after rewinding it to the part they stopped at.

Jennie stretched. “I’m off to bed.”

“Yeah, I might as well turn in myself.”

“Actually, do you mind sleeping with me? I don’t want to be alone, tonight. I mean, if you’re cool with it.”

Jungkook stared at her seriously, before breaking out into a smile. “It’ll cost you.” He used her quote against her.

“Really?” She crossed her arms.

“Really.”

“I’ll grab my wallet then.” She joked as they shared a laugh.

“I’ll come in your room in a few.”

“Thank you.” She headed into her room.

Jungkook took the time to turn off the TV and place the dishes in the sink. He was happy that she asked him to sleep with her tonight. He looked forward to getting to hold her. It felt like a normal thing for the both of them since they’ve done it so often.

With Jennie, in bed, snuggled up in the covers, resting her eyes, she thought about what her sisters said.

‘I mean he’s just a baby to us but don’t YOU think he’s cute?’

Yeah, she did think he was cute. They were growing up, and it was clear that Jungkook was becoming more handsome as the months went by. Puberty was hitting the both of them like a truck as the baby fat on their faces was no longer there.

He thought she was cute too. He would call her pretty and other compliments. She should make an effort to do the same. Tell him how much he’s appreciated. She was always proud of him. Proud of how much he’s been improving his English, vocals and dancing. She should say it more often.

Laying there in her thoughts, she heard her door open and close as happiness filled her body. Looks like he stayed awake and remembered that she wanted his company in her room tonight. She felt the other side of her bed dipped as he got under the covers with her.

His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her to his chest as his body heat radiated to hers. As the night went on, she turned over and ended up watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful as she brushed some hair away.

Soon after, he opened his eyes, meeting hers. Nothing awkward, just a comfortable silence. It was like they were having a silent conversation with their eye contact.

“Thank you for everything.” She thought out loud in a soft voice. “Thanks for taking my mind off things, tonight. I hope you know that I’m always proud of you. I’m sorry I don’t say it often. I’ll make an effort to do so. Remember when you told me that you cherished me when you gave us our friendship rings? Well, I hope you know that I cherish you too. Always. Even for the little things.”

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead before snuggling against him. Jungkook stayed shooked for a moment, feeling his shyness come back. But a small smile came across his features as he held her, watching her sleep in his arms until he dozed off, minutes later.

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spiderdaddy420 · 15 days

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Lexi's summer break...

Alexis came back home with us for the summer, after her first year of college. I was definitely proud of how her first year went. Lexi carried a high B average, and held down a part time job. I'm pretty sure she got the job for the discounts on way-too tight fitting outfits, but if she was paying for them, I wasn't going to bitch about that. She's my little girl still, but I'm happy to let her express herself.

Besides, she was definitely an attractive young woman. Certainly took after her mom in some very nice ways.

Besides being in fantastic shape, she's let her brown hair grow out, and added light highlights. She's been taking care of herself, obviously.

Her first Friday back in town, she went out with a few girlfriends, but Saturday night her mom and little sister were going to her aunt's, so Lexi and I decided we'd go to one of the street fests nearby. I took her pretty regularly thru high school, and she's always loved spending fun time with her dad, thankfully. And, luckily enough, her favorite local cover band was playing that night too. Good music, good food, maybe a few drinks with my growing baby girl.... Even if that's where it ended, probably would have seen a great night.

That's not quite how the afternoon and evening went.

We planned to leave the house around 4. I was waiting downstairs in the living room, watching ESPN, when she came downstairs exclaiming "Daddy! All ready to go!".

At the time, I really hoped she didn't notice me staring. My Lord, my baby girl was gorgeous. In a white pleated skirt, and a matching body-hugging crop top with medium length sleeves, she almost looked like she was wearing a Halloween angel costume. And the bright red popped out. Her lips. Her nails. Her small clutch. Her tall wedges were white with red straps. I mean, I always knew my little girl was very pretty, but for the first time, I couldn't help it. My baby girl was fucking hot.

After what seemed like an hour, she giggled, and said "come on dad, let's hit the road!" snapping me out of it. "Of course sweetie! You look great by the way".

Walking around the fest, we grab a couple small Spanish dishes, and I sneak her a couple margaritas so I'm not drinking alone. It was a bright, sunny day, and I couldn't help but notice all the eyes following around my little girl. For some reason, that excited me even more.

After another couple drinks, we're both feeling pretty buzzed and silly. One of the people working a craft booth there told her "I'm sure your boyfriend will get you that necklace if you ask him nicely enough". We looked at each other, broke out laughing, and Lexi replied "oh, I'm sure my handsome boyfriend would!" as she grabbed my arm. We walked out of the booth arm-in-arm, grabbed a couple more drinks, and headed by the stage for the live band we came to see.

They had waist-high tables set up with tall stools on one side facing the stage, and we got there just in time to grab one fairly close to the stage. And the place got packed real quick. It wasn't too long before the crowd was basically shoulder to shoulder, as the band walked on stage. They played lots of 80's rock covers, and as they started with "Living on a Prayer" the crowd went nuts, singing along. This was always Lexi's favorite genre, so of course she was dancing and singing along as well. She was definitely buzzed tho, adorably slurring the lyrics. As the crowd bunched in, I ended up directly behind her. By the third song, we were pressed together that way.

By the fourth, our drinks we're almost empty. And Lexi was dancing more and more wildly. Directly against me.

I don't know which surprised me more. My rock-hard erection, or the fact that my daughter was knowingly grinding herself against it. By the time they started a couple Aerosmith songs, my hands were on my little girl's hips, as she kept grinding against me.

I'm going to blame the alcohol here. Never imagined I'd ever do this. But I slipped my hand under her tiny little skirt, and gave her ass cheek a big, firm squeeze.

Another surprise, as Lexi flipped her hair back over her shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and mouthed "I'm having so much fun, Daddy" before licking her lips and facing the stage again, pressing back into me harder than ever.

Again, the alcohol made me do it. I slid my hand down between her cheeks, and pressed a finger against the wet spot on her tiny g-string panties. As she leaned into me with all her might, I slid the thin material to the side, and slipped a finger inside if her wet, young pussy. Wow, she was so wet she dripped down my finger as soon as I parted her lips. After a few moments, her still dancing, forcing my finger in and out of her little hole, she bounced a bit extra, and my finger pressed against her back door. As soon as she felt that, it seemed she thrust back against my hand, before reaching behind her back and holding my hand in place.

Through the next song, something by Guns N Roses, but I really wasn't paying much attention at this point, my finger pressed in and out of her eager little ass. Her hand slid to my shorts, and she cleverly unzipped me, reached in, and was stroking her Daddy's cock. Right here, in front of several hundred people. It was only a couple minutes before she had pulled my cock out and was pressing it against her lower back and ass.

Goddamn margaritas.

With one hand, I took her hand that was stroking me, and held it against her waist. With the other, I wet my palm, reached down, wet the head of my erection, and slowly pushed myself in my little girl's ass. Her grip on my hand tightened, but she made no other move. She tried to stand perfectly still as I slowly entered her. Inch by inch, I slid my cock into her eager little ass, til she was feeling all of her dad deep inside of her, stretching her.

Almost as soon as my balls pressed against her cheeks, the band broke into a Metallica cover. Enter Sandman. I began sliding in and out, slowly at first, but then increasing my pace til we matched the music. Lexi held tight to my hand the entire time.

By the end of Sandman, I wasn't even fucking her. It felt more like hundreds of people were pushing and pulling, fucking my little girl with my cock. The band broke into an AC/DC cover for the finale, and everyone was bouncing, tho none more than my little girl on her Daddy's hard dick. As the music picked up, I grabbed her by the hips and started thrusting into her over and over, fast and hard. The harder I went, the more my baby girl pushed back. I felt her legs begin to shudder. Her breath quickened. She thrust backwards, and I could feel her wetness drip down my balls as she came hard. Pressing her hands against the table, she steadied herself, her tight little ass contracting over and over again as her orgasm washed over her. I couldn't handle any more myself, and as she steadied herself, I thrust myself balls-deep in my little girl, and came harder than I have in at least 20 years. As she felt me flood her ass, her legs went weak again, but she was a good girl, and kept herself steady for me. The final 30 seconds of the finale we spent with her leaning against the table, me leaning against her, and us catching out breath as every last drop of cum was drained into her ass.

After the sing ended, and the band said their goodbyes, we remained like that. Me, hugging my girl from behind, like we have her entire life. This time was special tho. My cock was still inside of Lexi. Even as the crowd began to thin, Lexi looked back at me, eyes full of slightly exhausted joy, and she grabbed my arms and squeezed them right around her.

When the crowd had thinned, I finally, reluctantly removed myself, as drips of my cum slid out of her and down her thigh.

I took my little girl's hand in mine, and led her back towards the car. She had one arm wrapped around mine the whole time, and barely let go to get into the car. As we sat down, and I started the car, she grabbed my hand immediately, and told me "I had an amazing time today with my boyfriend *giggle giggle* I hope we can do it again soon Daddy".

I hope so too, my angel. I hope so too.

#mine #story time

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the-poem-in-stories · 8 months

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Toph & vulnerability - Why she is not just tough

Sometimes I see people describe Toph’s charater arc as basically non-existent, as in she doesn’t change, stable as earth. But I disagree. Her arc may be subtle and in this meta I’ll try to clarify what I think Toph’s struggles and points of growth are. Just like the element she bends, Toph can and does shift during the series.

Toph is independent, confident, and self-assured - or so it seems. Don’t get me wrong, Toph is tough but I think that toughness exists, at least in part, to protect her soft core. Her true feelings often remain hidden below her metal armor. So let’s explore Toph’s relationship to vulnerability.

1. The Struggle at the heart of Toph’s character arc

A dichotomy to Toph’s character is introduced right from the start, in the episode named after her alter ego, “The Blind Bandit”- she is introduced as a cocky master earthbender who is rightfully proud of her abilities, who incorporates the fact that she is blind into her name. But there is a fragility to her pride that appears when Aang airbends her off the fighting stage in an attempt to talk to her. Later, we are introduced to Toph as the daughter of overbearing and wealthy parents who have completely sheltered her from the world. They see her blindness as something that makes her delicate and in great need of protection, to the point of seeing her as pretty much totally incapable. This establishes the central struggle to Toph’s character: she sees any dependence on another person as threatening to her self-determination, and self-confidence. She believes she cannot be respected as a capable person while relying on others. At the beginning of her arc, Toph sees complete independence as the only way to be free and avoid being swallowed up by other people. She can’t show any feelings that are soft, that make her appear vulnerable because that would mean weakness. In a sense, the way her parents treated her led her to believe that being cared for, being protected, being loved is the equivalent of losing her self. Maybe the reason she chose her fight name to be “The Blind Bandit” is because it implies a vision of herself that is strong through and with her blindess, a vision of herself totally opposed to the young, helpless lady her parents see in her and perhaps want her to be.

2. Healing through Relationships

“The vulnerabillity journey is not the kind of journey we can make alone.” Brené Brown, “Daring Greatly”

Throughout the series, Toph is challenged by and grows through her relationships, mainly those with Team Avatar, and her conversation with Iroh. A significant episode is "The Runaway" where Toph really opens up to Sokka about her feelings towards her mother, and the episode ends with Toph asking Katara for help contacting her parents.

3. A Note on Feminity

Since performative feminity was expected of her from her parents and feminity is usually associated with being weak and less powerful, it is no surprise that her relationship to it is complicated. While Iroh’s tale from Ba Sing Se takes the cake in terms of tear-jerking emotional impact, Katara’s and Toph’s tale has a special place in my heart. I checked and it was written by two women, which does not surprise me. I love the bonding time for Toph and Katara, and how their tale explores Toph’s relationship to feminity. Feminity is strongly tied to beauty, and we see Toph hurt after fancy Ba Sing Se ladies make mean comments on her appearance. Toph’s response is to laugh it off and bend a hole into the bridge, so the ladies fall into the water- protecting her vulnerability by pretending she doesn’t care. She hides her crush on Sokka in similar ways.

4. The culmination of Toph’s arc: vulnerable and strong

In my eyes, Toph’s arc is an argument for interdependence. We can be self-reliant and capable, and we can need other people’s support, emotional and otherwise, at the same time. The final fight on the airships shows this character growth in Toph: she fights like the badass she is, and she lets herself be protected and saved by Sokka and Suki. I think she finally realized that there is no contradiction, and that people protecting her when she wants them to feels good and is necessary. Her blindness has made her particularly vulnerable in the beginning, and she became the greatest earthbender in the world because of it.

Addition: this is why I really dislike what the writers did with Toph’s character in LOK. It is a regression to see her resist hugs and live alone in the swamp, apart from her friends and family, and I am not even touching the cop thing.

#toph #toph beifong #avatar: the last airbender meta #avatar: the last airbender #meta #toph meta

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nerdzzone · 1 year

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Tiny Dancer

Summary: Following in her mother’s footsteps, Grace has her first big dance recital.

Part of the Back To You series

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June 2025

“Okay, so Grace has to be there in about an hour and a half,” Madeline reminded Chris as she flitted around the kitchen, collecting a few small snacks and a bottle of water to put in her bag. “She’ll need her hair in a bun, but if you can’t do it then just let me know and I can fix it before she goes on stage.”

It was at least the third time that Madeline had given him that information, but considering how stressed she was about the big recital, he chose not to point that out.

“I think I’ll be able to do it, I’ve been practicing all week.”

“I know,” Madeline flashed him a smile. “You’re probably better than me now, but if she’s nervous and won’t sit still then I can deal with it at the theatre.”

“Okay,” Chris nodded, but as she paused her hurried movements and lifted her arms to put her hair up and out of her way - a clear sign of her stress - he took advantage of her stillness to slip his arms around her waist. “How are you feeling?”

He felt her tension ease as she leaned into his embrace and let out the deep breath that it seemed like she’d been holding all morning.

“I’m good,” she assured him. “I’m excited, it’s just a lot to organize. I feel like my head is spinning.”

It was a fair assessment considering it was only the third time that she’d been in charge of organizing a recital - although she had doubts that it was something that would get easier over time - but it was also the first time she was doing it as not only the lead teacher, but as the mom of one of the dancers as well.

Despite a few delays because of the pandemic, Madeline managed to get the studio space she’d leased when she’d first moved home up and running by September of 2020. It wasn’t a seamless process due to the kinks in the supply chain and the added interruption of her pregnancy, but after running the first fall program herself, she’d called in reinforcements.

Her friend, Heidi - who she’d been dancing with since she’d joined the American Ballet Theatre - had retired due to an injury just a couple of years before Madeline had and after taking the time to heal, she’d moved to Boston to teach. When Madeline had pitched the idea of her joining the little up and coming school that she’d started, Heidi had been immediately on board. She took over classes completely while Madeline was on her maternity leave and by the time she returned, interest was rapidly growing. They decided to split the classes and take on more students with Heidi in charge of the younger kids - between three and six - while Madeline took care of the older ones - six to nine – before they could ‘graduate’ and join a bigger company if they chose to continue their dancing careers.

They were still a relatively small company with only one class per age, but that still meant they had ten dances to coordinate for the recital including all the numbers with combined age groups and the perfectionist side to Madeline had her very stressed about making sure it all ran smoothly.

“It is a lot to organize,” Chris agreed. “But just remember what Ma said, even if you’re in charge it’s still supposed to be fun.”

“Oh, it’s definitely still fun,” Madeline smiled. “I just really want to make sure it all goes well.”

“I’m sure it will,” Chris insisted, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “And I’m really proud of you for putting it all together.”

He felt Madeline squeeze him a little tighter before she pulled back and looked up at him with a smile.

“Don’t say that yet, it might be a complete disaster.”

“I’m positive that it won’t be,” Chris chuckled. “You’re all gonna do great.”

“Let’s hope so.” Madeline let out a sigh as she glanced at her phone to check the time. Seeing that she was already running a bit late, she tossed it into her bag as she grabbed the bag off of the chair. “Okay, I’ll say goodbye to Gracie, but then I’ve gotta go. Let me know if you need anything, otherwise I’ll see you when you drop her off.”

Chris nodded and pulled her in for another soothing kiss before following her to the living room. Madeline quickly wrapped Grace in a hug as she murmured her goodbyes and Chris watched as Grace hurried to the window, waving until Madeline’s car had disappeared from view. However, once her mother was out of sight, Grace turned around and let the smile fall from her face as her eyebrows furrowed together.

“Daddy, I have a question.”

Biting back a smile at her suddenly serious expression, Chris nodded his head.

“Sure, Gracie, what’s up?”

“Will Mama be mad if I’m too scared to dance today?”

The question alone was upsetting for Chris, but the way her voice shook as she asked it wiped away any hints of his amusement.

“Of course not,” he assured her as he moved to squat down in front of her to get to her level. “Your Ma would never get mad about something like that.”

“But Mama loves dancing,” she reminded him. “And she’s never scared.”

“She does love to dance, but she does get scared sometimes too. She’s actually a little nervous about today too.”

Grace’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” Chris nodded, flashing her a smile. “Everyone gets a little scared sometimes. I used to get scared all the time before I did anything.”

“You did?”

“I did, but do you know who was always there to help me?” Chris waited for her to shake her head before he answered. “Your Ma was. Whenever I got scared, she knew just how to make me feel better.”

It was the truth and Chris hoped that knowledge would bring Grace some comfort.

While Chris had prided himself on being Madeline’s protector when she got herself into more trouble than she could handle, she was always a fairly brave kid and Chris had to admit that in certain situations, he was not. Until he was about nine or ten, going anywhere without his family was practically torture for him. He hated school, he hated camp, he hated any activity that took him away from the comfort and safety of home, but despite their age difference and the fact that he was older - and should have been more emotionally stable - Madeline was always there to comfort him.

One memory that popped into his head was of a time when his mom had tried to force him into summer camp. He’d cried and screamed and refused to go until she eventually took him home. He’d sulked in his room for most of the morning, but when Madeline and her mother came over that afternoon, she’d tracked him down and - despite being only four at the time - she’d given him her best attempt at a pep talk and loaned him her favourite stuffed animal to take with him the next day in the hopes it would give him as much comfort as it gave her.

While he’d appreciated the gesture, it hadn’t worked and he never made it to that camp, but he left that part out as he shared the anecdote with the nervous four year old in front of him.

“Oh,” Grace murmured as she mulled over his story. “That was nice.”

“It was,” Chris smiled. “So you don’t have to worry about your Ma being upset that you’re scared, but what’s making you so nervous?”

“Everything,” Grace sighed. “I don’t want there to be too much people there.”

“There probably will be a lot of people,” Chris admitted, feeling a wave of guilt that she’d clearly inherited his anxious nature. “But you can just look for me and Mama and Grandma, we’re the only people you need to focus on.”

“I just want it to be only all of you.”

“I know, but everyone’s families want to see them dance too.”

“But what if I do it wrong?”

“Then you just keep going,” Chris assured her. “You just have to do your best.”

“Okay…”

Her soft response and the worry still swimming in her eyes had Chris’ heart aching as he opened his arms to pull her into a hug.

“If you really don’t want to do it then you don’t have to, no one will be upset or disappointed if you’ve changed your mind.”

He felt her clinging to his shirt as she buried her face into his neck for comfort while she took a moment to debate her options before she spoke again.

“I think I wanna try.”

Chris felt a wave of relief at her decision as he knew that she would probably regret it if she didn’t and he squeezed her tight.

“I think that’s a good choice,” he agreed. “But you can change your mind at any time, okay? We can just take it one step at a time.”

“Okay,” Grace nodded. “Can you help me do my hair?”

“Sure,” Chris smiled. “Let’s go find your hairbrush.”

Grace is kinda freaking out, think you can give her a pep talk? We’re heading over now, be there soon.

By the time Madeline saw the text from Chris, she knew they would be arriving any minute and her concern had her rushing outside to meet them. She made it to the parking lot just as Chris was getting out of the car and he smiled at the sight of her.

“Hey,” she greeted him. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“I think so,” Chris nodded. “But she’s nervous. I think we’ve talked it through, but she was worried that you’d be mad if she was too scared to perform…”

“Me?”

The incredulity in her voice gave away her shock at that information and Chris rushed to assure her.

“She was just saying that she knows how much dancing means to you and she doesn’t want to disappoint you,” he elaborated. “But I told her about how you used to help me when I got nervous about stuff and we talked it out so I think she’s gonna be fine.”

“Okay,” Madeline sighed. “I’ll talk to her and make sure.”

Chris nodded and opened the back door of his car just in time for Grace to hop out. Her hair was in a perfect bun and she was already dressed in her little leotard and tutu and Madeline’s heart melted at the sight.

“Hi, baby,” she grinned. “You look great!”

“Thank you! Daddy did my hair!”

“Well, he did a great job!”

“Thanks, it only took four tries,” Chris chuckled. “But I should go pick up Grandma. I’ll be back for your show. Okay, Gracie?”

A look of worry briefly flickered across her little face, but Grace quickly wiped it away and nodded stoically at Chris. He smiled and squatted down to pull her in for a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead before getting back into his car, waiting for Madeline to lead Grace out of the parking lot before he drove away.

“So,” Madeline started as Grace slipped her little hand into hers. “Daddy told me that you’re feeling a little nervous.”

“Yeah,” Grace admitted, her voice so soft that Madeline almost didn’t hear her. “I just don’t like all the people.”

As they walked into the lobby of the theatre, Madeline led Grace over to a bench by the door where she sat down and lifted Grace to sit sideways on her lap.

“It is scary when there’s a lot of people watching,” Madeline agreed. “But can I tell you a secret?”

The lure of confidential information had Grace’s eyes widening as she leaned in and nodded enthusiastically.

“Most people won’t be watching you,” Madeline informed her. “Everyone’s moms and dads and families will just be paying attention to them so the only people who will be really watching you are me, Daddy and Grandma.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Grace smiled softly. “Do you get scared too?”

“All the time,” Madeline admitted. “I used to get nervous before every performance, but I just try to remember that everyone just wants to have fun. We have fun dancing and the audience have fun watching us, right?”

“But what if I mess it all up?”

“Then you just have to keep going. I remember one time that I messed up really bad and I was so embarrassed, but you know what happened?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Madeline shrugged. “No one even noticed because the people watching don’t really know how the dances are supposed to go. Daddy doesn’t know any of your moves, does he?”

“No,” Grace giggled at the thought. “Daddy doesn’t dance good at all!”

Madeline’s mind flashed to the many family dance parties they’d had where Chris would bust out his silliest dance moves just to make Grace laugh and let out a giggle of her own.

“Exactly! I bet most people who come today won’t be really good dancers like you and your class are so no one will know even if someone makes a mistake. You just have to keep your head up and keep going.”

Her assurances had Grace sitting up a little straighter and looking much more confident than she had when they’d walked in, but after she gave Madeline a firm nod and a confident ‘okay, Mama’, Madeline had one more thing she wanted to mention.

“But you know that no matter what, I’ll be proud of you, right?” She asked. “Even if you mess up or if you’re too scared to go on stage at all, I’ll always love you and I’d never be mad.”

Grace looked down at her hands, shrugging in a way that had Madeline’s heart sinking.

“I didn’t want you to be sad.”

“Listen to me, Gracie,” Madeline instructed, her voice firm so there was no room for any misunderstanding. “I’ll never be sad or disappointed because you’re scared about something. I’m so proud of you just for being here and trying to be brave, if you change your mind then that’s okay. Even if you wanted to quit dancing completely, I wouldn’t be mad.”

“I don’t!” Grace frantically shook her head. “I don’t wanna quit!”

“I know,” Madeline smiled. “I’m just making sure you know that I won’t be sad about whatever choice you make.”

“Okay,” Grace nodded, slipping her arm around Madeline’s neck and snuggling in close. “Love you, Mama.”

“I love you too, Gracie.” Madeline squeezed her in tight and took a minute to soak up the moment of calm amongst the busy day before she reluctantly helped her hop down from her lap. “I’ll take you to Heidi now, but if you need me at any time you just let her know, okay?”

Grace agreed as she slipped her hand back into Madeline’s and followed her down the hallway to the room where her class was getting ready.

Almost an hour later, Madeline was racing around the backstage area trying to make sure everyone had their shoes and hadn’t messed up their hair too much when one of the moms who had volunteered to help stopped her.

“Heidi wanted me to tell you that Grace will be on in five.”

“Okay,” Madeline smiled. “Thanks for letting me know.”

She felt a pang of guilt as she’d been hoping to get the chance to check in with Grace again, but she had no time to worry about it as she made sure no one was in desperate need of any help before slipping away to find Chris. Thanks to the perks of being the one in charge, she found him in the seats she’d reserved on the front row just as the applause went up for the dancers in the number before Grace’s class.

“She up next?” He murmured softly, not wanting to detract attention from the kids prancing off the stage. Madeline nodded and a smile slid onto his face. “How’s she doing?”

“I think she’s okay,” Madeline whispered back. “We talked before I took her to Heidi and I haven’t heard about any issues since.”

“Good.”

Madeline could see Chris’ shoulders drop as if that information soothed him, but as the shadows of the dancers filed onto the stage take their positions in the dim lighting she felt her own stomach turn with nerves. It truly didn’t matter to her - or any other person in the audience - if any of the girls made a mistake, but she knew how hard Grace could be on herself and she worried about how she would handle it if she did.

Madeline adored her daughter, but there were times when she felt like they’d set her up to fail by passing on so many of their more difficult traits. She’d taken on her stubbornness, overly ambitious nature and inability to back down from a challenge, but also had Chris’ tendency to beat himself up and overthink himself into a world of doubt. They’d seen snippets of the traits in various ways through her life so far, but this was the first time they were seeing it collide into a heap of anxiety for her. She had the drive and desire to perform, but her self-doubt and the noise in her brain had clearly knocked her confidence. If anything did go wrong while she was on stage, Madeline knew it wouldn’t be easy to help her shake it off.

However, to her relief, it quickly became apparent that her worries were just as unfounded as Grace’s were.

Grace leapt and twirled around the stage with perfect precision and a passion that had her parents’ hearts swelling with pride. There was a look of focused determination on her face, but there was no sign of her earlier nerves and she completed the entire routine without missing a single mark. As they struck the final pose and the sound of applause returned, Madeline laughed as Chris jumped to his feet, letting out a cheer as he clapped so loud that the sound echoed around them. Madeline hopped up to join him just in time for Grace’s eyes to settle on them and her parents watched as a proud grin slid onto her face.

As much as she would have loved to stay and watch the rest of the show with Chris, Madeline hurried off as soon as Grace was exiting the stage to get one of her own classes ready to go on. She stayed in the wings for the rest of the performances - including Grace’s group number which she performed with the same ease as her first dance - but she was relieved when the final dancers left the stage and the show was over meaning she could just focus on being a mom again.

Wading through the crowds of other parents that had entered the backstage area to gather their dancers, Madeline hurried to find Grace and felt her heart swell when she saw her standing with Heidi.

“Grace!” She called out, catching her attention just in time for her to whisk her off the ground and into her arms. “You were amazing!”

“I did it, Mama,” Grace grinned as she wrapped her arms tightly around Madeline’s neck. “I didn’t get too scared or mess it all up!”

“I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!”

“She was a star,” Heidi agreed. “She warned me that she was feeling a little nervous, but we went through some calming breathing techniques and she persevered.”

“Thank you,” Madeline smiled at her friend before glancing back at Grace. “Should we go find Daddy?

Her question was met with a very enthusiastic nod and after quickly reassuring Heidi that she would be back soon to help with the clean up, Madeline hurried out of the theatre with Grace in her arms. As soon as they got out the door and Grace could see her other family members waiting by the parking lot, she wiggled until Madeline put her down.

“Daddy!” She cheered, bolting towards him. “Did you see me dance?”

“I did!” Chris smiled as he literally swept her off her feet, tossing her in the air before he settled her on his hip. ”You were so good!”

“Thanks,” she beamed proudly, but as her grandma stepped forward with a big bouquet in her arms, her eyes widened. “Are those for me?”

“They sure are!” Lisa smiled, holding them out for her take. Grace did so eagerly, whacking her dad in the face with the large arrangement as she thanked her grandma profusely. “You’re so welcome, honey. You’ve earned them, you did a great job!”

“She really did,” Madeline agreed as Grace was distracted by the flowers in her arms. “It’s a whole different kind of nerves watching her do it than it is being the one on stage.”

“Well, you had no need to worry,” Lisa assured her. “She clearly got your natural talent.”

Letting out a scoff of laughter, Madeline pulled a face at that claim.

“Most of my talent was not natural,” she reminded them. “I was the least coordinated dancer in my class when I started. Her ability to perform must come from the Evans side because she’s way better than I was at her age.”

“Maybe she just has better teachers,” Lisa pointed out. “It’s an amazing thing you’re doing here, building a little community of ballet that focuses on uplifting the kids above everything else.”

The compliment had Madeline swelling with pride more than any other congratulations she’d received that night. Her ultimate priority when she’d started the dance studio was to keep the environment positive. She was determined that there would be no pressure on any of the dancers, no unrealistically high expectations that set anyone up to fail and no using fear as motivation or insults disguised as well intentioned advice. She made sure that everyone was on the same page - including some of the more overbearing dance moms - and that the focus always stayed on having fun and enjoying ballet.

She knew that there were many people in the world who would think she was wasting her time - that her strategy wouldn’t enable the dancers to thrive in the way required to reach a higher level later on - but it was inspiring to see that she appeared to be right. It seemed that her teaching style was creating dancers who were more passionate and confident than the ones who were taught in a strict, almost abusive way and they were excelling just as much - if not more - than students from the schools she’d attended as a child and they had none of the emotional damage.

“Thank you,” she smiled at her mother-in-law. “Nothing is better than watching someone do what they love and really pour their heart into it, right? It just makes sense that empowering them is a better option.”

“Absolutely,” Lisa nodded. “And if anyone can prove that to the world, I know it’s you.”

Her assurance warmed Madeline’s heart as she knew that without the unfailing belief that Chris and his family seemed to have in her, she wouldn’t have been able to achieve even half of what she had. She was proud of what she’d accomplished, but she knew that she never would have been able to do it without their support and she shared that thought with Lisa just as Grace let out a yawn.

“I should probably get this little monster to bed…”

Chris’ observation was said with a chuckle, but it put a frown on Grace’s face.

“I’m not a monster,” she insisted. “I’m a ballerina!”

“Oh, of course, how could I forget?” Chris smiled. “Are you coming home with us, Maddie?”

“I’ve gotta stay for a bit and help tidy up backstage, but I won’t be too long.”

Chris nodded and took the flowers from Grace with the arm that wasn’t holding her before passing her over to Madeline to say goodnight. She squeezed her tight, murmuring more praise and congratulations as she moved towards the car and by the time she had her all strapped into her car seat, Grace was fighting desperately to keep her eyes open.

Placing a soft kiss on her head, she smiled at the sight before gently closing the door and turning to Chris.

“She’ll be fast asleep by the time you get home.”

“I’m not surprised,” Lisa chimed in. “She’s had an exciting night!”

“And all the nerves she had earlier probably didn’t help,” Chris pointed out. “It’s been an emotional day for her.”

“It has,” Madeline agreed, slipping her arms around Chris’ waist. “It’s been a long day for all of us, I think, but I should get back inside or we’ll be here all night.”

“You want me to stay and help? I’m sure Ma would take Grace home for us.”

Lisa voiced her agreement to that claim, but Madeline shook her head.

“There’s not a lot to do, we’ll be fine.”

Chris nodded and reluctantly let her slip out of his arms after stealing one quick kiss, waiting for her to make it safely back inside before he followed his mother to the car.

As Madeline pulled into their driveway almost two hours later, she felt the exhaustion hitting her full force. It had been a hectic, emotional day at the end of a long, busy week and now that it was all over, her body was screaming at her to take a break. Dragging herself from the car, motivated to move by the knowledge that her bed was only moments away, she made her way into the house and was surprised by the silence that greeted her.

She knew that Grace would have been in bed, but considering it was barely after nine o’clock, she’d expected to find Chris lounging in the living room with sports on the TV as he usually was on Saturday nights at home. However, the living room was dark - as was most of the house - so Madeline ventured down the hallway towards their bedroom and the sight that greeted her had a smile sliding onto her face.

Chris was laying on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he watched the muted TV on the wall with Dodger at his feet and a sleeping Grace tucked under his arm.

“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes.”

Chris’ gaze snapped towards the doorway where she stood, relaxing when his eyes settled on her.

“Hi,” he flashed her a lazy smile. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Apparently neither did our fierce guard dog,” she teased as Dodger twitched his tail in acknowledgment. “Why’s the party in here?”

“Grace woke up when I was changing her into her pajamas and wanted to sleep in our bed,” Chris explained. “Then she didn’t want me to leave so I stuck around for a bit.”

“She’s hard to resist,” Madeline sympathized. “And she deserves a little comfort after her big day.”

Slipping off her shoes and moving towards their dresser, Madeline lifted the dress she was wearing over her head and dropped it in the laundry basket before grabbing one of Chris’ old t-shirts out of a drawer and pulling it on. As she turned back towards the bed, she saw Chris brushing Grace’s hair out of her face as he watched her sleep with a look of adoration on his face.

If she hadn’t been so exhausted and eager to join them in the comfort of their bed, she would have been loath to interrupt the moment, but her exhaustion took over as she crawled up to lay in the empty space next to Grace.

“She did so well today,” Chris murmured. “She was so nervous, but she pulled it off.”

“She really did,” Madeline nodded as she rested her head on her pillow. “I just can’t get over how big she looked on that stage. It feels like it was just two minutes since we were bringing her home from the hospital.”

Chris smiled fondly at the memory as he thought back to their first night with Grace when they’d spent most of the night in a similar position, watching her closely as they were both too paranoid to take their eyes off her for more than a minute.

“I was so terrified,” he admitted. “I just kept thinking ‘man, who thought we were qualified enough to look after an actual baby’.”

His words pulled a snort of laughter from Madeline, but she stifled it with her hand to stop the noise from disturbing the child sleeping between them.

“We were in way over our heads,” she agreed. “But I think we’re doing a pretty good job.”

“It’s easy when you’ve got such a great kid.”

Madeline let out a hum of agreement, but as Chris flicked his eyes away from Grace, he noticed that Madeline’s were already flickering shut. Knowing how hard she’d been working and how little she’d slept all week, he wasn’t at all surprised and stayed quiet until he was sure she’d drifted off to sleep before shifting the blanket that he’d draped over Grace to cover her too.

As he watched them sleep beside him, he felt his own eyes grow heavy as the adrenaline of the day caught up with him as well. He was used to watching one of his favourite people perform as he’d sat through countless ballet recitals for Madeline, but he hadn’t truly been prepared for how it would feel to see his daughter up on that stage. He’d heard before Grace was born that having a child was like watching your whole heart run around outside of your body and that was the only way he could think to describe how he’d felt as he watched her.

He was constantly blown away by just how much it was possible to love someone and he was immeasurably grateful for the opportunity to be her dad. Knowing that the days of her wanting to snuggle up in bed with them were limited, he flicked off the lamp beside the bed and let himself fade off to sleep as well as he soaked in the sounds of her soft, gentle snores.

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