#i was still really good at math but language and reading was my Shit

[nexus-nebulae]

actually making a concerted effort to learn written japanese (since I've learned a small amount of spoken already) and. oh boy did not realise how hard it is for my brain to learn new symbols

[lisenberry]

Fluffy fluff.

CW: Pregnancy and child birth, language

Ch.2, Ch.3

You knew this day would come. Your due date wasn’t until the following week, but as of your last check-up, the midwife didn’t think you would make it that long.

But you were still surprised, and fought a rising panic, when you woke up around dawn to your first set of contractions. They weren’t terrible, at first, and you tried to remain calm as you showered, dressed in the comfortable outfit you’d set aside and checked your hospital bag for the thousandth time since you’d packed it weeks ago.

You’d read all of the books and watched all of the videos. It was a long process, and there was no rush to get to the hospital at this stage. It could be hours, days even before anything happened.

You were completely prepared and in control.

Until you stepped out into your hallway and straight into the wall of heat and muscle that was your neighbor.

“Oh, hi, John. I didn’t know you were back.” It’d been over a year since he’d left.

Why on earth he kept such an expensive apartment when he hardly ever lived in it, you couldn’t understand. He’d lived across the hall for five years, and had spent less than six months total sleeping in his bed.

And every so often, when it worked out, in yours.

“I got in late last night.” He paused, brows drawn together as he took in your obvious condition. “I was just heading to the gym.”

Jesus, he looked so good. Even in track shorts and a hooded sweatshirt. It pulled tightly across his chest as he rocked back on his heels. No doubt doing the quick math as to whether or not he could be responsible.

“I’m headed to have a baby,” you huffed out, as a sudden rush of spasming pain in your back nearly keeled you over.

That was a new feeling. It felt urgent. Shit, maybe you should’ve left sooner.

“Right now?” He lunged to grab your bags from your arms as you leaned against the wall for support.

“Not yours, don’t worry.” You laughed up at him, in an attempt to lighten the awkwardness of the exchange.

“Can I call someone for you?”

“I called a cab. It’s on its way.” The pressure started to ebb as you chanced a few steps towards the stairs.

“A cab? Absolutely not, I’ll drive you.”

“No, please. It’s fine. I have a plan. It’s all going to plan.”

But he’d taken possession of your hospital bag and your diaper bag, and had them loaded into the boot of his truck before you could protest.

“Is your boy—the father meeting you there?” Once he’d hoisted you into the passenger seat, and started the engine, he finally asked the question that had been left hanging between you.

“He’s not in the picture.”

Never was, you didn’t add. After you’d convinced yourself it would never work out between you and John, you'd had a brief fling with a visiting colleague from Berlin.

Imagine your surprise when you found out you were pregnant a month after he’d finished the project and gone home. To his wife, you found out later.

“You’re doing this alone?”

“It’s going to be fine. I told you, I have a plan.”

**********

“You don’t have to stay, really. I can do this on my own.” The contractions had become so intense, you couldn't control your voice enough to sound convincing.

His sympathetic smile as he finished filling out your intake paperwork was purely to placate. He had no intention of leaving. And you were grateful for his help.

The fact that he knew so much about you to only need to ask a few questions when completing the never-ending forms should’ve been alarming, not comforting.

Your blood type? Had you ever told him that?

“Aren’t you preregistered? How many times have you had to give them the same information?” He drew his eyebrows together in frustration as he realized the next packet was double sided.

“A fucking thousand.” You focused on your breathing and fought the waves of nausea that seemed to get worse along with the pain.

Weren’t there supposed to be breaks? You were told there would be breaks. You barely got a second to unclench your fists before another one started again.

You stood too quickly and steadied yourself with a hand to his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Concerned, he stood with you.

“I’m going to be sick.” You rushed, or rather waddled at your fastest pace, to the nearby family restroom and he trailed along close behind.

He stopped momentarily at the triage desk to slap the clipboard down and boom something about needing a room immediately, before following you in and holding your hair back as you wretched into the toilet.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He soothed, as he rubbed your back and passed you a wad of tissue.

“Please don’t leave me,” you croaked out, tears flowing at your helplessness and the sudden realization that this was only the beginning. That your life would never be the same.

“Careful what you wish for, darling.”

Once you were admitted to a room and set up with effective pain management, you finally relaxed enough to get your wits about you. And that involved, in no small part, frequently reminding the staff that, no, John was not your husband. He wasn’t even the father.

He wasn’t nearly as dedicated to correcting them as you were.

Things seemed to happen quickly, although you’d find out later that you labored well into the night, with a tireless, supporting hand held firmly in yours.

“You did so good, love.” When it was all over, he wiped a sweaty, wayward lock of hair from your cheek and planted a kiss on the top of your head. Seemingly as relieved as you were. As if he’d been holding his breath along side you.

You missed the look the nurse gave you as she placed the squirming infant on your chest, nor did you hear her mutter under her breath, “Not the father, my ass.”

“Welcome to the world, sweetheart,” you cooed, the pain quickly forgotten as you felt a tremendous sense of peace. Clarity.

“And welcome home, John.”

[roosterforme]

It Won't Be Long | Rooster x Reader

Summary: How are you supposed to tell your family that you have to leave? Especially when everything still feels new and flawless and beautiful? Bradley knows it will be rough to break the news to you, but telling Everett will be so much worse.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, adult language

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female single!mom Reader

This is a Batting Practice one-shot but can be read alone! Check out my masterlist for more!

"Oh, shit."

Bradley's heart sank as he read the paperwork that Maverick just handed to him. "Fuck," he groaned, fighting the urge to crumple up the pages. The sounds of conversation buzzing around him in the rec room faded to a dull noise that set his teeth on edge as he thought about how he was going to explain this to you. And even worse....how he would tell Everett. 

"Sorry, Rooster," Maverick replied, cuffing him on the shoulder, but Bradley didn't move except to shake his head a fraction of an inch. He should have known this was coming. He should have been prepared for this, but it felt like a slap in the face. You and he had only been married for less than six months, and he still felt like this was very much the honeymoon phase. How the hell was he supposed to spend a single day without you and Everett, let alone one hundred of them?

He'd been planning to take the three of you up to Disneyland for a little overnight trip during spring break. Kind of a precursor to a longer vacation to Disney World in Orlando in the summer. Well, now he'd be missing all of spring break. And he was going to miss opening day at Petco Park, too.

He vaguely registered that Maverick dismissed him early, and he heard Bob calling his name as he headed for the door. He stopped but didn't turn around as he told his future brother-in-law, "I'll call you later." He'd have to tell Bob and Molly soon, because you and Everett would need them if anything happened while Bradley was deployed, but he didn't want to talk about it with anyone until he told you himself. 

When he got home before you, it gave him plenty of time to mope while he got dinner in the oven. He decided to take a long shower, suddenly wanting nothing more than to change out of his fucking uniform. The Valentine's Day card he gave you a few days ago was still propped up on your dresser, and he sighed when he looked at the pretty flowers still blooming beautifully in the vase next to it. When he opened the card and read what he'd written, he wasn't surprised to find that he had it practically memorized after spending hours agonizing about what to say to his wife on a day dedicated to being in love.

Kitten, 

You changed my life and everything in it for the better last spring, and not a minute goes by that I'm not thinking about you. I hope you'll let me love you every Valentine's Day for the rest of my life. I hope you'll love me back for all of them. I'm so happy you're my wife.

Love,

Bradley

P.S.- How do you feel about wearing your collar, leash and your bodysuit tonight?

He set the card down again with a soft groan and stripped out of his uniform. The shower felt amazing, and he treated himself to your expensive body wash before he rinsed himself off. When he put on his sweatpants and started looking for a tee shirt, everything in his drawer seemed to have Top Gun or Navy Waves printed on it. He just wasn't in the mood for any of it since he knew he was about to have two conversations he'd really rather skip, so he pulled on the Phillies shirt that he got for Christmas from you and Everett.

The kitchen timer started going off at the same time he heard your car in the driveway, and Bradley ran back downstairs to get dinner out of the oven. "You're home early!" you said, bursting through the front door with Everett by your side, and for the first time since this morning, everything seemed more colorful and loud in a good way.

"Dad! I aced my math test!" Everett said as he came running into the kitchen, waving a sheet of paper in the air. "A hundred percent!"

Bradley's heart clenched as he picked Everett up in a hug and buried his face against him. "I'm proud of you, kiddo. That's what happens when you stop rushing through your homework."

He held onto his son a little longer than he normally would before kissing his cheek and setting him down. You eyed him closely as you dumped your work stuff on one of the chairs. He must have done something to give himself away, because a second later, you said, "Ev, you promised you'd take ten minutes to clean your room before dinner."

"Fine," he replied, his voice right on the edge of whining. Normally Bradley would remind him not to talk to you that way, but he let it slide right now. Everett headed for the stairs, and once he was out of sight, you were in Bradley's arms. 

"What's wrong, Coach?" you asked, running your fingers along his cheek before pushing them through his damp hair. "What's bothering you?"

When you gently kissed him, he didn't stop you. And when it took him a minute to reply, you didn't rush him. "Baby... I'm being deployed."

Your grip on him grew incrementally tighter as you whispered, "Oh. When?" 

His forehead met yours as he forced out the sentence, "I have to leave mid March, and I'm due back on Ev's birthday."

When you nodded, he could tell you were still letting his words settle in your mind. You took a deep breath and huffed out a little laugh as you whispered, "That's a long time."

Bradley swallowed down his guilt. "It's too damn long. I don't want to go fourteen weeks without you and Ev. I don't even like going a whole day when I can help it. I'm supposed to be here with you."

You nodded, and when you spoke, he could hear the tears in your voice. "We managed without you before, we can do it again. At least you'll get home on his birthday."

He collected you tighter against his body as he groaned. He would rather do almost anything other than miss his son's eighth birthday. "Kitten. Sometimes the dates aren't accurate. Sometimes the carriers run behind schedule. One time I returned a week later than I anticipated." 

You made a soft sound that left him reeling. "Well, if that happens, then I'll explain it to him. And we'll deal with it."

"Fuck," he grunted, slipping out of your grasp and gripping the edge of the countertop with both hands as his anger flared. "I don't want the two of you to have to deal with me missing out on celebrations. I already bought tickets for Ev and I to go to see the Padres on opening day! I was going to let him skip school! If I miss his birthday, I swear I'll be fucking sick, Kitten! And if Molly doesn't have the baby before March fifteenth, then I won't get to meet him until he's three months old!"

"Bradley," you whispered, ducking under his arm so you were right there between him and the counter. "Listen to me," you said, taking his face in your hands and kissing him. "This is why we love you so much. Because you love us so much."

You had tears in your eyes that matched his as he muttered, "I still feel like we just got married. Like every day with you is so exciting. And Ev didn't grow up with a military dad. He's not used to my lifestyle. I..." Bradley paused and dipped his head down, staring at your work shoes as he said, "I feel important every day because both of you rely on me for things around here. More than just my income. Ev and I do his homework together, and I like helping you cook meals. And I live for taking him to the park to play baseball. I live for it, Kitten."

With two firm hands under his chin, you shifted him so he was looking at you. "I said we would be able to manage without you because we did it before. We know how to do it. Not that we would enjoy ourselves, Bradley. My heart will hurt with worry every day that you're gone, and Everett will miss you because you're essential to his happiness. But this is part of your career, and you're very good at it."

Bradley knew he was crying now as he said, "I'll miss the beginning of his baseball season. He's the only one from his old team who is going to play real ball again this spring instead of tee ball."

You smiled and kissed his cheek. "All thanks to you. And I'll take a million videos for you to watch. I'll email them so you can scrutinize his technique, and then I'll help him improve. I mean, look how much more I know about baseball since I first met you."

Of course your words made him feel a little better. They always did. You always validated his place in this family when he started to doubt himself. "You've come a long way, Kitten. And it's a good thing, too, because I don't think Ev is going to lose interest in baseball any time soon."

You smiled as your lips skimmed his. "I really hope not since the two of you turned the extra bedroom into a Phillies shrine."

"Why are you both crying?"

Bradley's gaze snapped toward Everett who was halfway between the bottom of the stairs and the kitchen with a concerned look on his face. "Ev," he started, unsure how to handle this conversation. Part of him wanted to wait until after the three of you had eaten dinner, but right now, he looked very upset.

"Is Aunt Molly okay?" he asked softly. "She was crying the other day when she said the baby was hurting her back."

When Bradley still hesitated, you said, "Aunt Molly is fine. She texted me a picture of her swollen feet at lunchtime." Then you leaned in closer and whispered, "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No," Bradley replied immediately. "No, I'll do it." But it was harder than he thought it would be to get the words out in a way that would make sense to a seven year old. Why had he convinced himself that he'd be good at this parenting thing? He didn't even know what the hell to say right now. "Grab our gloves," he told his son. "Let's go out back and toss a ball around before we eat dinner."

Everett perked up immediately and ran off, only to return with two well worn baseball gloves and a baseball. "Okay."

Bradley slipped on a pair of shoes. "Okay."

Wordlessly, they threw the ball around for a bit, the quiet space soothing the part of Bradley that was terrified of fucking this up. "Hey, Kiddo?"

"Yeah, Dad?" Everett asked as he threw a scorcher to Bradley.

"You remember how we talked about deployments before?"

"Yeah." His voice was softer this time, and his face fell a little bit. "I remember. It's when you have to go way out into the ocean and fly off of an aircraft carrier."

"Yeah," Bradley croaked, squeezing the ball as hard as he could in his right hand. "I'm going to have to leave to do that in a few weeks."

He watched as his son tried to be strong and keep it together, but then Everett's face crumpled as he started crying. "But you said that lasts for months," he said as he looked at the ground, and Bradley rushed toward him. "And I heard Jayden in my class say deployments are really dangerous."

"Ev," he replied, dropping the ball and his glove and kneeling right in front of him. He swiped at the tears with his fingers as he said, "I can't stand it when you cry. It breaks my heart." 

But Everett just cried more. "I don't want you to leave now. You just got here!"

"Kiddo," he whispered, wrapping him up in a hug. "I'll be back soon. It won't be long. Nothing we can't handle."

"But what if something happens to you?" 

Bradley's heart shattered and was immediately put back together. He hated making you and Everett worry about him, but the fact that you both loved him enough to care made him feel whole. He kissed his son's tear streaked cheeks and said, "The only thing that's going to happen is me flying around in my jet for a few weeks before I come right back home. Sounds pretty boring, right?"

He nodded against Bradley's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess so."

Bradley kissed his forehead and whispered, "I'll be so bored without you. I'm going to need you and Mom to take a bunch of photos and videos and email them to me all day long. And I'll need you to ace all your school assignments and be well behaved for everyone except your Aunt Molly. You think you can do that?"

Everett shrugged, but when his glove slipped off of his hand, he hugged Bradley around the neck. "I'll try, Dad. But I'll miss you."

A tear slipped down Bradley's cheek as he managed to say, "I'll miss you, too."

-------------------------

"It's not time yet," you told Everett as he sat on the couch with the iPad on his lap, staring at it longingly. "Ten more minutes. Why don't you finish your math homework while you wait?"

"Because I like doing my math homework with Dad," Everett explained as he looked at you like you were absolutely ridiculous for even suggesting such a thing. "I want to solve the problem with him."

Even though it meant you would have less time to talk to your husband about other things, you'd let Everett do math homework with him over FaceTime. It wasn't like Bradley was going to complain. They were two peas in a pod. Everett even had the Phillies current pitching stats printed out and ready to share. 

"You'll have to show him your countdown, too. We're getting closer."

Before Bradley left, he and Everett cut up countless strips of paper and wrote numbers on them so Everett could conduct a countdown until his eighth birthday. Until the day Bradley was supposed to return home. There had been a gigantic paper chain snaking through the house, but now you were down to your final ten loops. Just ten more days without Bradley.

When the iPad rang, Everett nearly dropped it in his excitement, and you ran in from the kitchen. "Dad!" he said as Bradley's handsome face filled the screen.

"Hey, Ev," he said, sounding exhausted and relieved. "I miss you, Kiddo. Where's Mom?" 

"She's right here." 

Your son tilted the screen, and Bradley sighed. "Kitten."

"Bradley! We miss you. Ten more days!"

A crooked smile broke out on his face, and he kept his eyes on you for a beat longer while Everett started telling him all about baseball practice with his new coach and how his baby cousin Charlie threw up yesterday and about how the Phillies won three games in a row. You lost him to your son just like you knew you would as soon as Everett asked him for help with his homework. 

You sat quietly on the couch while Bradley looked at the math sheet and helped him work through the problem. Then Everett showed him the remaining length of the paper chain countdown, and as soon as that was finished, Bradley said, "Great job, Kiddo. Now why don't you go clean your room up before bed while I talk to Mom?"

"Okay. Love you, Dad!"

"I love you, too," he promised. "And I'll see you on your birthday."

Everett handed you the iPad and ran upstairs to his bedroom. "After all that, I only get three minutes alone with my husband this week," you said with a little smirk.

Bradley groaned and shook his head. "I can guarantee when I get home, I'll be on you nonstop. Don't worry about that, Baby. We won't sleep for days."

You bit your lip and laughed as he groaned. "What do you want for your birthday, Coach?"

He glanced around the small room where he was sitting before he said, "You can find that information written in your Valentine's Day card. Maybe throw in some vanilla frosting, and I'll be all set."

"Sounds good," you replied, and his smile grew. "We'll count down to Ev's birthday, and then we'll count down to yours."

"Speaking of which, did you get his present ready? All wrapped up in a box?"

You nodded as your heart fluttered. "Exactly to your specifications," you promised, picturing the package you had stashed in the linen closet.

"Perfect. I need to make it up to him for missing opening day for the Padres. I hated disappointing him."

As you glanced around your living room at the remaining countdown numbers and Everett's completed math homework, you said, "Something tells me you could never truly disappoint him. See you in ten days, my love."

-------------------------

"Dad!"

Bradley rushed through the crowd on the dock and headed for his family. You looked beautiful, and somehow Everett looked like he grew six inches in three months, but everything was perfect again once he had an arm wrapped around each of you. He kissed your lips and squeezed you to his side. "I missed you, Kitten," he murmured, knowing you wouldn't be too mad if you weren't his main focus until later tonight. "Happy birthday, Kiddo," he said with a smile as he released you to hug his son. "I missed you, too."

Everett clung to him when Bradley knelt down, and he stood up again with him in his arms. "Last week, my new coach said I have a heck of an arm. And school's already over. Mom took a video of my last day on Friday. You have to watch seventeen new videos from last week. We can watch them together tomorrow before we go out for pizza with baby Charlie and Aunt Molly and Uncle Bob."

Bradley buried his face against Everett's shoulder, excited to hear him talking a mile a minute in person. "Absolutely. But first, let's get home and open your birthday present."

The ride in your car was filled with your voice and Everett's, and Bradley sat back with a smile on his face and his fingers laced with yours. "How was the aircraft carrier?" Everett asked.

"Boring, loud and uncomfortable. And they never showed the Phillies games on TV."

"We can watch the game recaps!"

Bradley was already daydreaming about taking a few days off work, lounging on the couch with Everett until lunchtime, going to the park to play baseball, and then making love to you all night.

"We can definitely watch the game recaps," he promised as you pulled into the driveway next to Bradley's prized Bronco. "But first, I really want you to open your birthday present."

He didn't change out of his uniform. He didn't even remove his boots. He just gave Everett the box wrapped in red and white paper after you handed it to him, and he watched his son tear into the paper while your hands came to rest on his chest. "You are the only birthday present that kid wanted," you whispered.

Bradley felt the flush rising in his cheeks as you kissed his neck, but Everett had the lid off the box now. "I don't know about that, Kitten. I think he'll like this one," Bradley replied as Everett put the Phillie Phanatic hat on his head and read the paper he found in the box out loud.

"Three tickets for the Phillies game at Citizens Bank Park! On the Fourth of July! Behind the dugout! That's where the Phanatic dances! We can see the Phanatic for real! In Philadelphia!"

"Told you," Bradley whispered against your lips as Everett ran around the living room, already thrilled for his first trip to Philly.

But you were shaking your head and looking up at him with the most sincere expression as you said, "Just wait for it."

And you were right. A few minutes later, after Everett's excitement for his Phillies tickets tapered off a bit, he asked, "Dad, can we build a blanket tent and watch Toy Story and eat popcorn?"

Bradley paused where he was unlacing his boots and smiled. "Under one condition."

Everett smiled back and shrugged. "Okay. What is it?"

Bradley tossed his boots aside and said, "We change into our matching baseball pajamas and grab the stuffed Phanatic from your bedroom. And Mom gets to join us, too."

"Deal."

An hour and a half later, Bradley was watching one of his favorite movies with two of his favorite people. You were feeding him popcorn and teasing his hair as you lay with your head on his shoulder in the blanket fort. Everett was sound asleep, draped across Bradley's chest, and it felt so good to be home, he almost started crying. 

"I missed this so much," he whispered, kissing Everett's forehead. "Missed my family."

You hummed softly as you raked your fingers through his hair. "Like I said, going to the Phillies game will be great and all, but having you home today was the only thing he really needed for his birthday."

Bradley grinned and asked, "And does my Kitten need me, too?"

You popped up from his shoulder and whispered, "Why don't you carry Ev up to his bed, and then I'll let you find out."

-------------------------

I love emo Coach Bradley, and it was definitely time to check in with the three of them. He never wants to be the reason Everett cries, but that kid loves him so much, it's unavoidable. Let's check back in with them again soon. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[tofulikesmala]

hii!! how are you? i hope good, could you write a draken x fem reader, maybe smut if you feel comfortable with it, where reader is a shy nerd and since she met draken she changed completely and you do the rest!! sorry for bad english but its not much first language!!😭

At the flip of a coin

Draken x fem reader

author notes: hello, thank you for requesting! Unfortunately, I am a MINOR, so I don’t write smut. I apologize for the inconvenience. ANDAHHHB I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS IM SOS SORRY

It was time for midterms. Again. This time, Draken finally mustered enough motivation to study for it the first time in his life. The cold breeze of the aircon caused his long hair to sway a little. The quietness of the library was in contrast to the noisy environment of the Tokyo manji gang. Observing the tables—which were mostly packed with people, he sat himself down at a table which only had one person.

You watched as this tall and muscular guy sat down on your table. Looking back at the three assignments that was due the next day, you sighed. Well, you can’t do anything about it, might as well not complain, it’ll be beneficial for you anyways! Hey, it might even teach you to write faster! Looking at the guy who was flipping through his notebook, creases forming on his eyebrow, glaring at his notebook as he scowled. PleasedonttalktomePleasedonttalktomePleasedonttalktome

Placing his very clean textbook on the table, he begun flipping through the pages, not understanding a single thing at all. Staring at the girl in front of him, he sighed, before nudging her and placed his textbook in front of her. “Hey, if you can, can you explain what it’s trying to say?” The girl took some time to process his words, but after that she read the pages of the textbook, flipping here and there quickly. “This is my curriculum for next year…but be glad I still studied one year ahead.” She mumbled quietly. Draken jaw internally dropped. Which motherfucker would want to study a year ahead? The girl sitting in front of him, apparently. The girl started mumbling words Draken couldn’t even make up. “Can you speak up. You’re too soft.” A tinge of red appeared on her cheeks as she cleared her throat. “Alright….sorry…” Speaking a little louder, she explained the formulas, how to solve it, scribbling all over his textbook. Draken had to stretch his ears to be as long as a Buddha’s in order to hear her clearly. But Draken didn’t ask her to speak louder, since she seemed to have social anxiety. Shaking her leg, hand shaky, eh Draken decided not to push any further. After like half an hour of explaining the chapters tested for the exam, she put down her pen and sighed. “W-well, I hope you understood everything…..sorry if my explanation isn’t the best, I’m not very good at teaching, I mean I can understand the topic but I just can’t teach I’m really weird and all, so sorry. I’m so bad at teaching I hope you understood if it was too complicated just tell me….” As the girl went on and on, her voice got softer and softer, until she stopped speaking all together. “It was great, thanks.” Draken replied. The girl blushed a deeper shade of red. “T-thanks, it means a lot….” “Let’s be friends. You can help me with math and shit.” A deeper shade of red appeared on her cheeks. Friends….? Dang, she didn’t have a lot of that…. “I take that as a yes.” Draken stared at her before packing his things and walking away.

Time Skip. The young couple falls in love…

Dating Draken while being shy and nerdy would include….

Due to your shy personality, he feels an even more overwhelming sense of protectiveness over you

bring you to meet toman when your comfortable, of course

would 100% bonk anyone on the head if they try to make a dirty joke, he’d rather keep your innocence

A lot of times you rant about the topic your interested in to draken, although he doesn’t know what your talking about 90% of the time, he’ll listen anyways

remembers the stuff you rant about. He would see something related and would be like “hey don’t you like this”

very caring, protective and accepting! 10/10

if anyone bullies you, he’d beat them up, immediately

You groaned as your classmates who are a waste of oxygen forcefully pushed you against the locker again, slamming a hand beside you, causing all your books from your hand to fall to the ground. The smirk on his face only grew wider at your scared expression. What’s he gonna do next, beat you up? Like every other day? “If it isn’t the ner-” blood splattered on your cheek as your classmate fell onto the floor, blood trickling down your nose. Huh? What just happened? A tall figure loomed over you, as he placed his hands on your shoulders, a gentle but firm voice rang out. “Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?” You nodded your head, you were perfectly fine, after all. Draken nodded, before straddling the guy and beating the shit out of him, saying some curse words you didn’t even know, spitting insults here and there. As you were bullied quite frequently, more beating occurred. More shouts. More blood. More gore. More swears. Of course, it started to affect you in some way!

Three missing assignments, two exams, and 7 worksheets to complete by tomorrow. You were pissed. Very pissed. Things really decided not to go your way. You were sick, absent for only TWO days, and your asshole of a teacher decided to release all the homework that was meant for like, a fucking week. You weren’t even given an extension! Oh the urge to stab a knife into your teachers stomach and twist it, see her beg for mercy as more blood flowed out— “Ah!” You collapsed to the floor, scraping your knees on wooden floor somehow. “Oh! Isn’t this the WHORE who’s dating Draken? How did you even pull him, he’s so out of your league! Hahahah! I know, maybe it’s because you’re such a SLUT!” Of all days, she decided to piss you off today. Fuck. You were so done. Standing up, you launched right at her, pushing her onto the ground as you slammed her head against the locker. Screams sounded as both her and your classmates were shocked. Several others from other classes begun peeping their heads in, curious about the commotion. Grabbing her hair, you forcefully lifted her head, before slamming her head down again. You’ve seen draken do it many times, it was pretty easy to imitate. You lifted up her head tearing her hair. “I hope you get raped. Multiple times.” Taking your scissors, you brought it to her stomach, running the blade through her clothes. “I’m gonna make sure all the yellow fat from your stomach flows out.” Pressing a bit harder, the girl screamed and kicked, but the immense unknown strength from your body kept her down. Blood began to flow, but before you could continue, somebody picked you up, throwing away the scissors from your hands and pulling you into a hug. As you the scent of Draken’s shampoo filled your nose, you relaxed and leaned into his arms.

Draken went to the classroom too because, firstly, it’s your classroom, secondly, there was screaming.

But instead, he found you slamming your bully’s head on the floor, blood spilling everywhere.

He knew you would usually cower behind your own hands, but this time you didn’t even flinch.

“W-wha…?” Draken is SO confused, what happened to his cutie potootie pookie wookie sweet honey bear gentle girlfriend?

he can’t even MOVE. That’s until you started going a little too far

Back at the brothel, Draken used some wet wipes to gently scrub off the blood off your face. “So…who taught you all that….?” “You…?” You replied bluntly. Draken gulped. Guess there’s no turning back now

[notsofriendlyfriendlyreminder]

rdr2 as teachers

Dutch van der Linde: teaches social studies and sometimes history, goes on weird rants about his ideologies, he grades on a whim, students have a love hate relationship with him, is the principal but he really shouldn't be

Hosea Matthews: chill geography teacher that used to also teach physics, is generally good but his homeworks are usually hard to understand, you will get a good grade if you show effort and talk to him, leads an afternoon drama club and was a principal for several years

Arthur Morgan: teaches english literature but also pe and also sometimes physics? He also taught math for a year when times were rough. Everyone knows him and he knows everyone, thinks he's not a good teacher but students act good and get good grades with him (they're intimidated), sometimes hangs around in afternoon art clubs

John Marston: math teacher on an art school (yes this specific), none of his students will ever study math so why should he try, let's everyone pass as long as they're not acting up, usually late to class but no one cares

Javier Esquella: music teacher and an extra for spanish classes, his students only sing in his class, no work unless you make him mad, is known for talking shit about other teachers in spanish

Bill Williamson: PE teacher who yells at his students too damn much BUT is actually ok to meet outside of school, will get drunk with his (of age) students on field trips

Micah Bell: the teacher that got kicked out for students complaining, still shows up on some school actions because Dutch always asks him to help with making sure they act right

Charles Smith: really smart chemistry and biology teacher, actually explains it well, strict but students love him type,leadss the longest routes on field trips with Arthur, they usually make them even longer

Sean Macquire: Teacher assistant, no one knows what exactly he studied, just hangs around, will trashtalk teachers without asking, tells students the curent drama happening between staff

Lenny Summers: Teacher assistant finishing up his studies to become history teacher, popular with the students, has lots of energy, sometimes takes over classes when teachers are sick or tired

Sadie Adler: PE teacher who goes hard but also will force you to not participate after you get hurt ("I DO NOT CARE YOU JUST GOT HIT AND YOU BARELY STOPPED THAT NOSEBLEED SIT DOWN."), no one knew that she had a husband until he one day randomly picked her up from school, once got drunk on a prom and finally told her students about her life

Karen Jones: Chemistry teacher who breaks all lab rules, mainly shows them the fun stuff, the rumor is that she knows how to make alcohol very easily, also leads the afternoon drama club with Hosea

Tilly Jackson: Works in the office, helps students with paperwork or with anything they need to, is one of the reasons the school is still running because she fixes Dutchs paperwork mistakes

Mary-Beth Gaskill: english-literature and english language teacher, is the one to help rewrite the plays for the drama clubs, overall helps them a lot, has an after school reading club, they read mainly female and lesserknown authors

Uncle: janitor, doesn't do shit, just hangs around the school, will yell at you for walking inside in outside shoes, no one takes him seriously, some students have a habit to say "I didn't do my homework, I have lumbago!" because of him, mainly in Johns class

Abigail Roberts: Also works in the office, taught math for a year (that's how she got to know John), refuses to fix Dutchs mistakes, small Jack hangs around in the school sometimes, students like him and play with him

Susan Grimshaw: The main lady in the office and also the vice-principal, students thought she and Dutch were maried LMAOO, she shot down those rumors real fast, students either love her or hate her

Pearson: school cook who also has an afternoon cooking class, sometimes forces his students to answer yes chef, smells weird and tells weird stories

Leopold Strauss: German teacher who also takes care of the school money and makes lectures once a year about finance world, the students don't like him but some respect him in a sense that he knows how money works and teaches them real stuff

Josiah Trelawny: randomly shows up and gives lectures about whatever, no one knows if he actually works here or not, does he even have a title? does he have any idea how to teach? The students find him hilarious, also ALWAYS shows up for students proms and somehow knows who your parents and siblings are

Orville Swanson: Teaches social studies with focus on religion, nearly got kicked out several times for going to school drunk, did cry once in class

Kieran Duffy: Biology teacher, half of the students ignore him, the other half pity him, hangs around the book club because of Mary-Beth, the students ship it, once ranted for an entire class about horses

Molly O'Shea: Dutch hired her just because she's pretty, she teaches music and art mainly, eventhough she studied literature, but Susan refuses to give her other classes (she was mad at Dutch for bringing her to school), she is the teacher students have a crush on

[medusapelagia]

Learning to Love 3

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,..)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve /Billy Tags: enemies to lovers, Steve has migrains, Tommy being an assh*le, homophobic language Words: 1261

The next day he parks his beloved Camaro close to Steve’s car, and everyone at school stares at him, waiting to see if he will slash the other boy’s tires or something, but he gets out of the car and goes to Mrs. Johnson's class and glares at the girl sitting at Steve’s side.

“I think this is my seat.”

“It isn’t… you sit in the back…” The girl squeaks but when he leans on the her table she takes her things and quickly leaves, moving toward Billy’s old place.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks, staring suspiciously at Billy.

“We are partners now, aren’t we?”

Billy usually doesn’t take notes during classes, for him it is enough listening to the lesson and doing some exercise at home, but this time he writes down everything in his neat handwriting. When class ends, he tears off the pages and gives them to Steve.

“I’ll come tomorrow to your place, try to read my notes and make a list of the questions you might have, ok?”

Steve nods, confused, but thanks him as he takes the notes and goes to his next class. 

Hagan gets closer to Billy while they walk together in the corridors “What are you doing? I thought you hated him. Are you planning a prank on him?”

Billy shakes his head, annoyed, “Mrs. Johnson asked me to tutor him and that’s what I’m going to do. I need it for my college application.”

“Since when?” Tommy insists “You have straight As in every subject, why do you need to babysit Harrington?”

“Because it will look good on my transcript, ok? Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather prefer I babysit you? Or maybe you would like to be the one babysitting Harrington?” Billy snarls and Tommy lifts his hands in surrender.

“Calm down! You are fucking crazy, you know that, right? I know Steve, we were best friends, did you forget that? But you two have nothing in common and I’m just wondering what you can talk about. Girls? Sex?”

“Math.” Billy replies, leaving Hagan staring at his back.

Why the fuck did he care what they talk about? He is just tutoring Steve, that’s all.

***

“That’s not bad. You got the first part of the exercise, you just got a little bit confused here.” Billy says, making a red circle on Steve’s exercise “You see? You forgot to multiply those two.”

Steve curses and closes the book with anger “I will never pass the final, ok? I should just give up!”

“You are doing so much better. You just need to concentrate a little more…”

“Concentrate a little more? My head is going to explode, I have a migraine that is killing me and you want me to do more? I can’t, I really can't, ok?” Steve yells, covering his eyes with one arm.

“Do you have a headache?” Billy whispers in a soft tone of voice.

“It was a headache when you got here. Now is a fucking migraine. I think I’ll just lie on the bed for a bit. You can leave if you want, I don’t think I’ll be able to do any other exercise.” Steve sighs, wobbling toward his bed.

“There is anything I can do? Do you need a cold compress? Some water?”

“A cold compress would be great. And if you could turn off the lights please.”

Billy hums, turns off the lights, and goes into the bathroom to get a wet towel and then he gently cleanses Steve’s sweaty face with it.

“You don’t have to do it. I can do it on my own.” Steve protests weakly.

Billy doesn’t reply and gives Steve the cold compress “Did you book an appointment at the eye doctor?” Billy whispers in the semi darkness.

“You know I didn’t.”

“I could book it for you,” Billy proposes. “You won’t even know when it is and you won’t get anxious about it.”

“This is stupid.” Steve sighs, still covering his eyes with an arm “I should be able to get my shit together. I’m not a kid!”

“I’m your tutor, I can tutor you through this.”

Steve chuckles, cursing because laughing makes his migraine even worse, then he finally agrees. “Book me a fucking appointment with an eye doctor.”

Billy nods, even if Steve can’t see, and goes down to the kitchen, he calls Susan, asks her for the doctor's number, and books an appointment for Steve, it feels a strange kind of warmth inside thinking that he is taking care of someone else because he wants to, because he offered to. Maybe there is still hope. Maybe Billy’s destiny is not to become like his father.

***

On the day of the doctor's appointment, Billy drives Steve and stays with him all the time. To anyone who asks why he is there, the California boy replies that he is the designated driver, and when Steve comes out with a glass prescription he drives him to the nearest shop to buy a pair of glasses. After having some fun trying some very strange pair of glasses and almost buying a pair of matching heart-shaped glasses just to piss off the owner of the shop, Steve chooses a simple model of golden rounded glasses. Afterwards, they go celebrate with burgers and milkshakes, Steve’s treat. 

But the pretty boy feels too self-conscious about the glasses. He tells Billy that he looks like a dork, even if mBilly disagrees strongly. He almost tells Steve that he looks cute, but he learned in California that telling another boy that he is cute is not something you can do, so he just says that he looks like a librarian, which somehow Steve takes as an insult. In the end they agree that Steve will wear the glasses only at home when they study together.

The glasses help Steve a lot and, without an impending headache or migraine, he can concentrate more easily, and when Mrs. Johnson gives them the final test results Billy is not surprised to see a big B+ on Steve’s test.

“So it’s true. You really do work miracles, Hargrove.” Tommy says, snatching Steve’s test from his hands “How did you do it? Did you hit him with the math book until some of it got into Steve’s thick head?” Hagan laughs, but Steve doesn’t reply, he gets his test back and leaves the classroom without even looking at him.

“What the fuck, Hagan?” Billy growls, pushing him against the wall “What do you want from my fucking life? Don’t you have a girlfriend to piss off?”

“What I want to know is what are you up to, Hargrove! I mean, the boys told me but I said, ‘Hargrove? No fucking way!’ Now I’m wondering if I was wrong all along.”

Billy glares at Tommy with his cold blue eyes “What are you implying, Hagan?”

Tommy gets closer and whispers “The boys were saying that you moved to Hawkins after your father saw you fucking another boy. Or maybe it was him who was fucking you?”

“How dare you say something like that to me.” He yells, lifting Tommy by his collar.

Hagan trembles, trying to free himself “I’m sorry. That’s what the boys said! And you are always with Harrington these days so we assumed…”

“You assumed wrong.” Billy snarls, pushing Hagan so hard against the wall that his head hits the wall with a loud thump. “And the next time you want to assume something about me I will not be so generous.”

[mack-attack420]

Witch Among Gods

Light Yagami x Reader Pt. 2

Pt.1

A/N- so I came up with a name for this little series, Yay!

Here's the next bit.

Yagami’s room was exactly what you would expect from a kid like him. All books, no fun. Now don’t get me wrong, I love reading. Transporting myself to a different world with amazing characters and life that’s actually interesting. But I bet if I were to get a closer look at Yagami’s bookshelves, all I would find are textbooks. Maybe the occasional book that was assigned for a language arts class. Absolutely nothing interesting or fun. Just like him. 

“How are you able to see Ryuk?” Yagami asks me as I look around his room.

“Why is your room so boring?” I counter, sitting on his bed.

“You're avoiding the question. How can you see him?” Yagami persists.

“Even I’m interested in how,” The thing, Ryuk, says.

“I just can, all right,” I tell him. There’s no way I’m going to tell him that I’m a witch.

Light just stares at me. Like he’s trying to read my mind. Oh, shit maybe he can! I mean he did summon a Shinigami, somehow. I need to think of something. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

Light door knob jiggles like someone’s trying to get in. I didn’t even realize he locked it. Really shows how unobservant I am.

“Huh? Weird.” The person on the other side says, “Hey, Light, what’s going on? Why is your door locked?”

“What is it, Sayu?” Yagami asks. Must be his little sister.

“Can you help me with my homework?”

“Uh, yeah, but I have a friend over.” 

He gets up to unlock his door.

“I didn’t know you had friends.” Sayu teases him.

“He doesn’t. We were just working on a school project.” I answer before Yagami can, “And I am leaving so you two can get to that homework.”

“Awe, don’t leave.” Sayu whines, “We’re doing quadratic equations in math. I need as much help as I can,” Sayu walks over and sits at Yagami's desk, “I’m like the only one in my class who doesn’t get this stuff.”

“I mean I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I hate math.” I tell her.

“And yet you still get high marks in math.” Yagami comments. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” Sayu asks, swirling the chair in circles.

“My name is L/N Y/N.”

“You should stay for dinner. I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind, and then I could get to know you.” Sayu suggests.

Ryuk starts laughing, “This just keeps getting better and better. Also, I’d be careful if I were the two of you. If anyone else touches that notebook you’ve got hidden in the drawer right now, they’ll be able to see me too.”

Light stops and stares at Ryuk for a second. He really isn’t good at keeping a secret. 

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Sayu asks her big brother.

“Hm? Oh, nothing. So, what exactly don’t you understand?”

[emo-philosopher]

IGCSE

Heyy everyone

So did CIE's IGCSE and *hair flip* got an A* in all my subjects.

So yeah I'm just tryna help. Fr.

Now listen u dont need to get an A* to be happy with ur grades. If those are ur goals then u go girl. If those are not u still go girl.

But my mum always says "Always aim higher than what u can get. Then you will reach the farthest u can go. Now go make another omelette for me."

Now a major thing I would do before an exam is open a candidate response, the qp, the ms and the examiner report.

Do each question, check with the markscheme, check the candidate response and assess where u are and then the examiner report.

I love this so much: https://paper.sc/

Examiner reports are a really underrated resource and are REALLY HELPFUL.

Use the 'IGCSE' reddit and discord server

IGCSE Notes – Soumya Pandey

Here are some of the resources I used and each subject tips

Maths:

Past papers past papers past pAPERS PAST PAPERS PAST PA-

Girl i cant tell u enough

Also makes sure to learn all the calculator tricks including the linear equations one, differentiation (the only ones I can think off the top of my head)

Make sure to practice past papers have good time management. Calm down during the exam. It'll all be fine.

(trust me i went and got bangs cause i was depressed about the way i wrote the exam and here we are)

Sciences:

Use the examiner report tip. Always always use the syllabus of each subject. And ofc past papers

Skill for Science Packs - Google Drive

Bio:

Drives:

IGCSE Biology (0610) notes from MS - Google Drive

bio

Chem:

Heather Houston - YouTube

IGCSE all chemical tests - YouTube

Drives:

chm

0620 Chemistry – Google Drive

Phy:

physics resources

Business:

Bs is one of the easist subjects cause of the repeated questions and the low thresholds. If there is one subject u wanna chose for fun let it be BS or EVM

EVM:

Smallest syllabus ever

Just do past papers you'll be fine

Ik everyone says that but thats cause its true

The same advice goes to ICT. Like the practicals are the easiest shit u can think of but a big mistake that people do is forget theory.

Study for theory and u get good marks.

English (1st language) :

My fav subject in IGCSE

It was sooo good

Always choose descriptive its just easier to score in

Go read books from good authors like Madelline Miller, Katherine Arden, and Ocean Vuong. Get phrases that u really like and copy them into a word document. Go through it before the exam and use it in the writing

You can also use: https://www.descriptionari.com/

Examiners' Secrets: Descriptive Writing (Mr Salles) - YouTube

Paper 1 video

---------

AND THATS ALL

To everyone doing their GCSE's

All the best

Just remember that it isnt everything. Year 10 and 11 is all about finding urself and having the time of ur life. I sure as hell did. And at the end of the day these results dont matter half as much as u think. Its not that they're not important. Its just that there are more important things in the world.

Go live ur best life before the A level train hits.

[crybabydraws]

I just listened to Hozier's album Unreal Unearth and I'm gonna explode. Holy shit what an amazing album and what an incredible artist. Here are my first impressions I got from each song.

De Selby (Part 1) - Very pretty. A beautiful song to start this album. A wonderful taste of what's to come

De Selby (Part2) - FUNKY! I'll be taking this and I will be listening to it on repeat til I'm sick of it or dead. Whichever comes first (probably death tbh).

First Time - Just a simple love song (I'm lying). It doesn't really speak to me on any kind of existential level (still lying).

Francesca - What a lovely sonG OH HOLY SHIT- (Also the ending portion of this song is heavenly, pun intended)

I, Carrion (Icarian) - I could only think about Crowley and Aziraphale when this song came on. It fits them SOOO well! Anyways, gorgeous song!

Eat Your Young - The sound of this song is so awesome and sexy for a song that uses a clever parallel to Chronos to keep the Greek mythology theme to make it about sacrificing the next generation for money and power. I live for it.

Damage Gets Done - Hozier and Brandi Carlile's voices are so pretty together. This song sounds like running through a flower filled field with someone you want to be buried next to.

Who we are - This song speaks for itself and what it has to say is beautiful and painful as shit. I love this song.

Son of Nyx - The animated masterpiece that I made in my head to this song was incredible.

All Things End - "If there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right." GODAMN SO TRUE! This song is so nice. Accepting that everything will end while still keeping hope that we'll begin again UGH! I LOVE IT!

To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe) - Beautiful. Incredible. I'm speechless. I also cannot believe that word is pronounced that way.

Butchered Tongue - This reads to me like a poetic love letter to language, music, and to Hozier's hometown. It goes over his personal experience with growing up in his hometown and appreciating it even more as he experiences other places and recognizes even more how it has affected him. That's what I got at least. Lovely song ofc.

Anything But - If the previous song was about the love of things that make us human and connect us like language, this song is about the feeling of wanting to be anything but human or, better yet, nothing at all. So cool. I love this man.

Abstract (Psychopomp) - When I listened to this song for the first time, I didn't really pay attention to the lyrics. I still teared up. I still haven't really looked at the lyrics and I'm still emotional about it. I love music. I love life. I love that I get to experience this with my ears. I love that I can appreciate it and understand it. GOD THIS ALBUM IS SO GOOOOD!!!

Unknown/Nth - This song with a math reference in the title makes me lose my mind in the best way. "Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you that I'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you." That might just be the most emotional line I've ever heard in my life jfc.

First Light - The melodies he is singing in this song do something to me. I ascend every time that pre chorus/chorus comes in. LIKE DAMN, IF I BREATHED IN THIS SONG, I WOULD SEE INFINITY!

I need to study the lyrics of all of these songs in an academic manner soon. I could only dream of the artistry that Hozier achieved here. This album will probably change my life.

[ronanceautistic]

Autistic Robin headcanons?

Autistic Robin my beloved.

I think she’s quite sensitive to sudden, loud noises but isn’t as sensitive to like, a lot of noise. She’s in band, she goes to all the games n shit, she’s used to a lot of noise. But something like fireworks, or thunder, or gunshots make her nervous.

I think texture is a big issue for Robin, she cuts the labels out of her clothes, she definitely has very hyper-specific things she refuses to touch because of the texture, like velvet or something. I also think maybe that’s why she keeps her hair short.

Her special interest is language. Her language tapes are definitely a huge comfort for her because they’re repetitive and they feel safe. I think learning new languages in general comes so naturally to her because of how engrossed she gets. It doesn’t feel like a task when she gets to learn about the grammar of this language, and the culture surrounding it etc.

I think before she got into languages, like as a little kid, she really liked insects and frogs and anything to do with nature. I think she was the type of kid that would absolutely play in the mud but at the same time, as soon as she gets home she’s having a shower.

I think while she struggles to communicate she is actually good at reading tone (i know she says she doesn’t, but she literally reads nancy like a book for the whole of s4). But because she isn’t great at knowing how to respond, or the right thing to say, social cues make her nervous. She’s very sarcastic herself, but struggles to read other people’s sarcasm and it’s very much a situation of no one knows when Robin is joking and Robin doesn’t know when others are joking.

I think a lot of situations could bring on a meltdown for her, but she’s very good at knowing her limit and doesn’t really feel pressured to keep herself in a situation she’s uncomfortable in, like a party. Like, Nancy will keep going until she explodes (Halloween party throwback), whereas Robin will acknowledge “okay, soon I won’t be able to do this anymore”. She doesn’t like parties, she will probably never go to one because the only time she did she quickly realised it was a terrible idea.

When it comes to meltdowns, she definitely prefers being alone, putting on headphones and listening to her tapes, stimming in a dark room, deep breathing. She is good at calming herself down, I think. But in terms of Ronance it makes them clash a little, because Nancy needs someone with her, and assumes Robin would, too. But she quickly realises it makes things a lot worse and more stressful for Robin.

Also, this is ADHD rather an Autism, but I think she is quite inattentive if it isn’t something she is interested in. While she is very smart, I think she still gets Cs on the subjects she has no interest in because she can’t focus on the class. I think she’s really good at music, french, english, and biology. But she also struggles with math, and history. I am obsessed with the idea that math-whiz Nancy helps Robin and Robin helps Nancy with French.

I also think she’s probably a picky eater, who is willing to try anything but also rarely likes anything new she tries. But at the same time, the foods and combinations she does like is so bizarre to anyone else but her.

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

Hii everyone! Okay so there's this fanfic I've been writing on Wattpad that hasn't been getting any attention and I literally have been working my ass off on it soooo I'm gonna post it here too!! I hope you enjoy!!! ************************

𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

Ep1 s1

(Carl X oc)

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

*******************************

Even before this shit went down my life still wasn't something to be proud of

"Rayne, care to explain?" my mom asked holding up a test I got a 83% on. "My math test?" I answered and she laid a strong slap across my cheek. "Don't get smart with me!" she said as I felt stinging in my right cheek.  "Now, try again. Care. To. Explain?" she asked.  "An 83 is still a A" I tried to explain but once again I was met with another strong slap

Don't cry dont cry dont cry

"Your grounded" she said then pointed to the stairs, something warm run down my temple.  Opening the door to the bathroom only to be disappointed as my eyebrow had a cut and was now bleeding. 

"Did you give yourself that cut? Just got some attention" my sister scuffed as I grabbed a wash cloth and held it under warm water.  "Hello?" she said but once again I gave no reply.  "Your pathetic honesty" added then walked to her room.  "I know" I mumbled as I put a bandage on the cut.

I was waking to my room when I heard a door open and close followed by something being set down.  I made my way downstairs to see my dad who had just gotten back from a hunting trip the thing he sat down being his rifle and revolver.  "Can you BELIEVE this, she practically failed!" my mom yelled holding up my 'failed' test.  "Hi Rayne" my father said and got up walking past my mom and over to me.  "What happened to you face?" he said referring to my now bruised cheek and cut eyebrow.  "I fell." I said already knowing better then to tell the truth.  "How bout the test huh? You know I can't let that slide also your mom said you were bad mouthing her and your sister, you know that's not okay" he said and I just nodded knowing nothing he said was true.  "No leaving the house at all and if I even see you look at the tv or play any video games so help me" he said this time more stern. 

I didnt hate my family but sometimes it's hard to keep myself from letting out all the stuff I have been forced to keep in.

"ok" I said.  "What's the use? She's just gonna have her face shoved in a book" my sister said kicking me in the leg I looked up to see if my father had noticed but he was already gone.  "You can't even defend yourself, honestly could you be any more useless" she added but I just once again stayed quiet.

Rule number one: always stay quite

I had 5 rules in place if I broke them, god knows how many marks would be on me if I didn't keep my mouth shut.

No.1: always stay quite (what's the point of talking when no one is listening to you)

No.2: never cry. ("Your so weak all you do is cry")

No.3: A (if I can't get good grades then I'm a disgrace, a failed, a mistake)

No.4: I don't need anyone (relying on other people means your weak)

No.5: take it.  ("You deserve this. You deserve to bleed")

I live with these 5 rules also on my mind if I break one...well...i don't know, I guess I never have, but I know I don't want to know what'll happen if I will. 

"There were a lot of people out this season" my father said.  "Really? I thought that not many people go out over there" my mom asked.  "Yeah I did to, and the weirdest thing about it was that they weren't even wearing hunting gear they were dressed in normal everyday clothes, and get this there werent even any buck" he complained.

People dressed in normal clothes on a hunting trip? Something about that doesn't feel right, as I thought something outside caught my eye.  I walked over to the window to see people, groups of them walking all sluggish almost tripping over there own feet, some of them...were covered with

Blood

Others had very severe injuries, like missing arm you could s-

I felt something rise in my throat looking at one of the people, a little girl with a large intestine spilling out of her I covered my mouth with my hand and ran up stairs getting the attention of my family.

The image crossed my mind once again this time I wasn't able to keep in what I was trying to avoid I ran into the bathroom bumping into the door frame and released my hand from my mouth my stomach unable to take anymore.  "Rayne? Are you alright?" my dad asked rubbing my back.  "She's just doing it for attention, stop being so dramatic" my sister scoffed but the only thing I could focus on was the...i dont even know what it was.  "Rayne what's wrong?" my father asked. 

"Outside...look, outside" I said in between huffs and coughs, my father then got up

It was to long before I heard the front door open, then slame shut.  I stood up and slowly walked down, to see my father's eyes wide his hands gripping onto his hair while my mom began to cry she then grabbed her phone

We all sat there is silence

...

...

...

Click

No one picked up

I ran over the to an old radio I used to listen to when I was younger, thank god I still knew how to use it

Static

"WARNING WE ARE CURRENTLY IN A CRISIS DONT GO NEAR INJURED PEOPLE THEY ARE INFECTED IF YOU GET BIT YOU DIE IF YOU GO NEAR THEM YOU DIE, THE LIVING WALK THE EARTH AND EAT THE LIVING"

"Oh my god" my mom said and fell to her knees.

I ran up stairs and ran into my room to get a book and ran back down stairs almost tripping.

"Look" I said and handed my dad the comic. "Holly shit" he said looking through the book. "We have to go, there has to be somewhere safe" my dad added. "Jade! Get down here!" my dad yelled and my sister walked over tears streaming down her face as she shook in fear, and if I'm being honest as much as I hate to admit it we all were even me...

"Me and you mather are going to gather food and weapons, you two go pack clothes not a lot just enough to travel as well as other things you might need" dad said and I nodded and ran up stairs to my room.

2 outfits should be fine including the one I'm wearing

Fit 1 (currently wearing) : red hoodie with a white t-shirts under and blue jeans (dw the fits get better)

Fit 2. A yellow stripped shit and white t shirt with leggings (most of these are based off of Clementine)

Fit 3. A purple t-shirt with blue jeans

I then went into the bathroom to get basic hygiene products (tooth brush, deodorant, etc) "get boots too!!" my dad said and I went into my room and dug through my closet trying to find the one par of boots I had.

Found them

They were an old pair of docs that used to be my sisters but they dont fit her anymore. I then looked at my desk to see a photo of my best friends and tears streamed down my cheeks,

The one person who actually cared, the one person I trusted please for the love please be okay.

"RAYNE GET DOWN HERE!!!" my dad yelled and I took the photo and put it in my pocket.

When I walked down stairs I seen everyone with bags in there hands my dad set his down and I walked by Jade my father then kneeled down and held up two pocket knives I put my hand out but hesitated while my sister just turned away and shock her head. "Please guys, I need to know that you'll be able to protect yourself if need be" he said and I nodded taking the black and silver knife and flicked it open, nothing to special. "Fine" my sister said then took it. "Alright me and your mama have guns but we won't be able to protect you all the time" he said I agreed but my sister wasn't having it. "No! You have to protect us YOU HAVE TO" she said and my father slapped her and she screamed and cried the....um....things?... Walkers ya

Started walking towards our house probably from hearing Jade cry

Sound attacks them

"Shit Jade stop screaming!" my dad said and covered her mouth only to revile the sound of walkers banging on the door. "Dammit Jade" my dad said. "We have to go through the back" he said and let go of my sister tears still streaming down her face we grabbed all of our stuff and my dad held tightly onto his rifle

Here we go

Name: unknown Nickname: Rayne Walker kills: 0 Living kills: 0 Age: 9

[nisja888]

dear diary,

dear new diary, this is my new diary, i bought it today and whatever it is that i write here, i want it to be honest. that is the vision. the size and the feel of this diary is reminiscent of a similar one i had in seventh grade i think. growing up i would buy a lot of diaries and i was specific with the type i wanted; i had a vision in my head but all that was available to me in the small stationery shops in my hometown was just very corporate looking office type diaries, and the one i had was exactly that. you would imagine a man who works an office job(god knows what that is) writing down something like phone numbers of people or some type of math thingy. or maybe i just made up this analogy. the truth is that i had tea, and i guess the caffeine is making me feel this way, otherwise i’d be miserable i think. there is a lot for me to unpack right now. listening to la ka land ost, started with ‘another day of sun’. it is a good start. a beginning. the sun card. hope. renewal. a start. a beginning. where do i even start. language. i have been reading stuart hall's book on representation and he says a lot about using language to make meaning. so on and so forth. what really moves me is the very strangeness; paradoxical nature of language. why does everything become so profound and complex and layered with growing up, with time, with experience, with the going on-ness of life. i guess that is just the way it is. so i came across this line of thought: language is at once fixed and fluid. doesn't that fuck things up big time. it fills my head with a lot of ideas. such as, i can never express the depth of my feelings, i can never translate the feelings into words. for so long, i was under the impression that i am good at expressing my thoughts and feelings into words, into writing at least; but now i have sort of realised that i have not fully understood my feelings enough(melodrama is on shuffle now). almost like, writing for me has been some sort of manipulation, an unknowing warping of feelings(mine) which comes with the illusion of them being known but the truth us that they are unknowable, but have the potential of being known. what i am trying to say is that i am impulsive. words come out of me. translation of thoughts/feelings into more thoughts, words, writing, almost like a madman or like a possessed person speaking singing under some influence. once the translation happens, i think to myself, what have i just said, and it doesn't seem to align with how i truly feel; i just spew shit. i just spew shit without taking time to think it through or feel it through, immediacy. that happens a lot in writing, texting. it just comes out of me, and that is okay. no one really trained me to speak or write mindfully i think. what am i even saying.

i guess there is some respite in the fact that language, in whatever form, songs, images, eyes, face, hands, body, words, movement, telepathy, signs, can never communicate the truth, and there is also respite in the fact that truth is slippery and ever changing, so is language, and together they may never meet or intersect to create soul shattering somethingness. i feel so much, yet when i try to translate that feeling, it just detracts. the more i try to say how much i feel for you, or how much i hope for you, the love i feel and have for you, it shrinks as i try to put it into language. so i may never try. but language also has a fixed quality. it can fix, it can concretise, it can make something stand still and make it endure time and space. and there is something about the letters i l o v e y o u that fixes, clarifies the fluidity and ambiguity that persists. It reassures, and it will endure for as long as you feel it, and even if you stop feeling it, i l o v e y o u exists somewhere, it does not get erased. it is real and true.

[causenessus]

omg i hate that guy <- not really anymore,, he's a good teacher my grades shot up SO fast (D->A within three months of him teaching) BUT LIKEEEE HES BEEN TEACHING ME SINCE 8TH GRADE AND SAYS LIKE 1 GOOD THING EVERY 6 MONTHS

HE ARRIVED AS SOON AS I READ UR ANSWER

he said i did well today 😎 and if i study properly ill do the same in all my next exams !!1! i have to start a bunch of different coachings eww

ANYWAYS i woke up at like 5 today (us moment) !! idk why because i had online classes that started from 9

sleep early tho!!!!!!! i hate waking up and i hate sleeping i hate everything actually

i conked out at 11:30pm last night (omfg i did not know i could do that)

im doing so good (still high off the grades) but like lowkey panicking bc of the next exams !! my goal is to beat my sister's records <//3 basically she's pike crazy good and got 7 A* and 1 B </3 i alr got an A* in the subject she got a B in, and then i have like 7 more subjects to give exams of :[

but like she is ACTUALLY so good at studies n shit she got the highest grades in her batch in biology in this years board exams (wtf!) and when she gave her 10th grade boards she got like the highest marks in economics in 34 years/basically the whole school history i will cry .

the english teacher i have rn is fucking insane she told us callous and careless are the same thing i almost cried

she also spelled ajar as ajure

NOW YOU MIGHT SAY but lina thats hecking stupid !! its not her first language:( SHE HAS A DEGREE?? AND IS THE HEAD OF THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT ??? and she took up four classes (4hrs) just talking about the SYLLABUS not even what we're learning

im aiming for like,, country highest at least in english so having her is a terrifying thought

ALSO A GIRL FROM THE BATCH ABOVE ME GOT WORLD HIGHEST IN HER MATH BOARD EXAM (100%!?!?)

okay anyways ill go erm sorry for yapping.. IM STARTING MY HEALTHY STUDY GIRL ERA AND STUDY NOW!!! honestly im quite proud of myself because like a year and a bit ago my grades were like,, 1 U, 3 Ds, 5 Cs and 1 B like wtf .. anyways the subject i got a U in back then,, i got 90% in boards this year ! and my lowest grade recently was 80% like chat we r eating ts up

IVE TALKED ENOUGH THANKS FOR LISTENING OR WHATEVER NOW I FEEL EMBARRASSED

STAY SAFE AND HYDRATED NESS ILY ILY ILY BYEBYE :)

DON'T FEEL EMBARASSED!!!!! I LOVE TO HEAR YOU TALK <3333 (sorry i got distracted and immediately read the bottom paragraph LET ME READ FROM THE START) LMAO I'M GLAD YOUR TUTOR IS GOOD AT TEACHING!! EVEN IF HE'S NOT NICE 😔😔😔 KNOW THAT YOU'RE DOING SO WELL LINA!!! I'LL COMPLIMENT U AND CHEER U ON IF HE WON'T <3

LINA SIDE TAGENT THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH i love how energetic your writing is!!! like it's rubbing off on me <33 i was feeling a little sleepy but now that i'm reading your ask i feel more like !!! awake!!!! this is all /pos I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK </33 BUT PLEASE 5 AM???? AND YOUR FIRST ONLINE CLASS IS AT 9??? PLEASE BRO WHY IS THAT THE USUAL?? 😭 WHEN MY FIRST CLASSES WERE ONLINE IN HIGH SCHOOL I FR WOKE UP AT LIKE 8 EVERYDAY (bc idk how they were for you but like google meets were once a week and optional bc they'd just record it anyway so i'd watch the recordings at like 2x speed while doomscrolling tumblr or something)

YOU SLEEP EARLY PLEASE!! or like sleep more idk 😭😭 i could never wake up at 5 am willingly you're amazing for that 😭 the "i hate everything actually" is SO real it made me laugh so hard PLEASE 😭

YOUR SISTER SOUNDS CRAZY??? LIKE GOOD LUCK BEATING HER RECORDS IG </3 BUT PLEASE DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT OR MAKE IT A BIG DEAL !! YOU DID AMAZING THIS TIME AROUND WITH YOUR EXAMS AND IK YOU'LL DO GREAT AGAIN BUT DEFINITELY DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH PLEASE!! i cannot believe the thing about your sister having the highest grades in ECONOMICS in like 34 years because economics is NOT fun that class made like 0 sense to me like bro if the global market is crashing and economists don't understand it HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND IT ?????????

CALLOUS AND CARELESS ARE THE SAME THING????????? HELLO????????????? HOW IS SHE A TEACHER I'M SO SORRY BUT LIKE EVEN IF IT'S NOT HER FIRST LANGUAGE THAT MEANS NOTHING LIKE BEING AN ENGLISH TEACHER IS NOT THE ONLY JOB OUT THERE IF SHE CAN'T TEACH ENGLISH THEN LIKE MAYBE SHE CAN TEACH SOMETHING ELSE??? BC I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE LETTING HER TEACH IF SHE'S DOING THINGS LIKE THAT 😭 AND SHE'S THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND EVERYTHING??? EVEN CRAZIER???? good luck with your goals though!! i believe in u <3

WHY IS YOUR GRADE BREAKING LIKE ALL THESE RECORDS?????? LIKE I KEEP READING MORE PARAGRAPHS AND WITH EVERY WORD MY CONFIDENCE IN MY OWN SCHOLARLY ACCOMPLISHMENTS IS DEPLETING LMAO 😭😭 I DID NOT BREAK ANY RECORDS BUT GOOD FOR U GUYS!!!

amazing job with the better grades!! and i love your healthy study girl era!! please make sure to take care of yourself and keep your mind and body nourished <333 i hope you're doing alright!! i just saw something on your blog recently that made me want to make sure you're doing alright!!! please know that my dms are always open to you!! <33 take it easy and you're an amazing person <3 you're so sweet and talented please let me know if you need anything!!

[mylittlemiyaomeow]

SubaHibi Induced Reading Madness Report #1: Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

I want so badly to write a SubaHibi fic that's just me bitching about the parts of SubaHibi I don't like while building off the shit I did like. Actually I think any SubaHibi fic I write would be that. But in order for it to be properly SubaHibi, I need to better understand SubaHibi. And in order to do that, I have decided to go on a reading spree.

This reading spree will include both books referenced by SubaHibi alongside other stuff I think could add to the big SubaHibi idea I want to write. Like, part of that idea involves Yuki being a Japanese Lit major (I feel like she'd want to study books since she likes those and she figured it would be easier to go with studying lit in a language she's already fluent in, though I can imagine she still takes foreign language lit electives for the hell of it), and I kinda need to read Japanese lit if I'm going to go through with that.

With that out of the way, I have finished "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus". You can actually get this book off of Gutenberg as I found out in the download I found, but I wouldn't have found another book I'm reading now if I didn't decide to look through a more shady avenue.

I am not super great at understanding philosophy (I did okay in the class I had to take, but that was mainly because the professor walked us through our take-home tests the day before said tests), especially when it comes to stuff involving math (philosophy is like word math to me). While I was looking for a download of this work, I found another book titled "Tractatus in Context", which I decided to download because I knew I would need help. Actually I started reading it just now, but this report isn't about that.

I kinda made the mistake of not taking notes as I was reading (a mistake I expect to make many times throughout this journey), so a lot of the stuff I talk about will be shit I half-remembered and then hastily looked for the specific lines of in a .pdf.

The main thing I understood and enjoyed from this book was its engagement with the concept of language.

On 4.022 (the first one, since apparently my copy includes two proposition 4.022s, this one is after 4.001), there is this quote. "Language disguises thought. So much so, that from the outward form of the clothing it is impossible to infer the form of the thought beneath it, because the outward form of the clothing is not designed to reveal the form of the body, but for entirely different purposes.".

I think I remember SubaHibi touching on this a bit. About how the purpose of language isn't to express thoughts, but to communicate with other people. Or maybe that was some other work that engaged with philosophy that I forgot about.

As for my own thoughts on this... Your thoughts only need to be understood to you yourself. But when you explain them to other people, you need to translate it to a language they understand. They can never understand the purest essence of what you were thinking. But if you're particularly good at translating your thoughts into words, the purity of the essence won't really matter.

When it comes to writing, what I usually care about is being understood and having my words interpreted correctly. I don't give a damn about essence if someone walked away from my words with the meaning I wanted them to. Hell, sometimes people add their own meanings to my words and those meanings are good too.

Sometimes in language though, you use words for ulterior motives other than expressing a simple thought. You use them in order to get other people to feel what you want them to feel, regardless of what you actually think. It doesn't have to be malicious; It can be as something as simple as pretending to be interested when your friend infodumps about something you don't really care about because it makes them happy.

Sometimes, in the process of giving language to your thoughts, your thoughts take on a shape that it didn't have before.

4.025 states "When translating one language into another, we do not proceed by translating each proposition of the one into a proposition of the other, but merely by translating the constituents of propositions. (And the dictionary translates not only substantives, but also verbs, adjectives, and conjunctions, etc.; and it treats them all in the same way.)".

I understand this as "Translation is about getting the contents across, not making sure every word matches its equivalent in the other language.", but honestly I'm not sure. Regardless of what this means, we've been having this discourse for at least a century huh. Maybe for all of time even.

5.6 states "The limits of my language mean the limits of my world."

One cannot understand what one does not have the language for. So it is beyond them. But in my eyes, these limits aren't hard and fast. One can find and learn new language for things, and thus expand their world. It is through this process that one grows.

6.43 states "If the good or bad exercise of the will does alter the world, it can alter only the limits of the world, not the facts--not what can be expressed by means of language. In short the effect must be that it becomes an altogether different world. It must, so to speak, wax and wane as a whole. The world of the happy man is a different one from that of the unhappy man."

I feel like this is a decent follow-up to my thoughts on 5.6. I mean, I don't really get it that much, but I do like the quote "The world of the happy man is a different one from that of the unhappy man.". It relates to some earlier stuff I didn't quote about how everyone has their own world or whatever. SubaHibi engages with that concept a lot and just like in SubaHibi, I mainly just went "That's neat" and didn't know what to expand onto it. Like yeah, everyone has their own view of the world. Everyone has their own experience.

Oh, I guess this could connect to my earlier ramblings about the "language disguises thought" thing! No one has the same experience of the world, so in order to express your own experience, you have to translate it into words.

While I was reading this book, I was reminded of something one of my acquaintances said about their experience with DID and plurality. According to my memory of what they said, it's something that often has to be expressed through metaphors.

My main beef with SubaHibi is how it completely fumbles the subject of plurality around the end, so naturally the main thing I would want to include in a SubaHibi fic is an exploration of plurality that isn't completely fumbled. But I am not plural. I cannot pretend to completely understand the experience of plurality. I just have to do my best with the metaphors and descriptions of people that do actually experience plurality and hope that any fumbles I make are minor.

I assume it's a similar thing for psychotic conditions. I haven't done nearly as much research into those as I have for plurality, so I should read up on those before writing about characters who have psychotic symptoms.

Trying to figure out how to express my thoughts on some parts of this book kinda made my brain hurt, but I think that's just what thinking is like sometimes.

[echosinthedesert]

Why I’m Echo

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA (trafficking and scripting)

Growing up, I didn’t know why they called me Echo. I’ve always been hard of hearing, repeating what little I heard so people would listen. My family hated how I slurred my words and spent too long guessing what they had said to me. I echo. I read the Narcissus myth in grade school. I remember thinking that’s where the word came from, but I didn’t realize then just how much that story mattered to me.

I was raised with the story of Echo and Narcissus as the narrative of my life. I was a confidante to the women of my church. They told me I was so smart, so good with words despite barely speaking. My mother was an English teacher, and I loved to read.

They took me to the school where they worked one summer, had me clean up the classrooms. Eventually, they left me at a table to do homework, sent another woman to watch me. She helped me with my math while the other woman went on ‘lunch break’ — apparently sleeping with that woman’s husband. At the time, I hardly knew what was happening. They were all so mad.

It wasn’t a coincidence, I don’t think. They did something similar in my church group, then again at a ‘house party’. Every time, I was the distraction. My homework, my writing, my ‘services’. As punishment each time, they took away my books. Those books were my door to language, used to bring them everywhere, and they ripped them apart and hid them.

While all this was going on, my church group was doing something similar to another boy. They made him hunt with the men, never let him look in the mirror, set up all these confessions towards him and trained him to be cruel to the people confessing. We were bonded together like that. They made me go confess my love to this stranger boy, who was fairly pretty, and made him hurt me. They kept us together often, even though we didn’t like each other, and we fought like cats and dogs.

For a while, I was sure he was dead. They told me he offed himself because of me (he was so stressed and angry, I really did believe them). I didn’t see him for a while. It was an ordeal figuring out how to get him back to himself, after finding out he wasn’t gone forever.

We get along better now, with years between that shit show and now. We get that so much of our lives were staged by the adults around us, and we think we know why they did it — not the logic of why they thought it was a good idea, but what they were trying to get out of it ig. We weren’t the only kids they did this to, and we’ve both played minor roles in other kids’ training.

Narcissus and I are alters in a system. All of my trigger words and all of his are linked up according to how we were trained. That’s not the point of my blog, but the context is important.

The people who orchestrated it all are outside humans, still alive for the most part, and all the events happened in external reality with the exception of Narcissus and I having actual separate bodies (they just had someone else stand nearby so we thought the person we were talking to was physically present).

It’s been a journey piecing together where our stories fit together and placing it back in reality. We’re not the only alters like this in our system, and we’re not the only system this happened to. The perps are still doing this, but we’re getting safe and trying to stop them from doing this to others.

So. My name is Echo, like the Greek myth, and I’m just a Deaf girl. This is my blog about being Deaf and living with the fucked up childhood I had because of it. I’m one of three Echos who came out of that fiasco, using this blog with every other ASL native alter in the system. The worst is passed, and I’m excited to make a life for myself in the present. Nice to meet you!

[mistydeyes]

Hello! I don't know whether matchups are open and if not you can delete this request. But...

Can you please give me a MW2 matchup? 🙂

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

MBTI: ENTJ-A

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Appearance: 5'7', Slim thick, dark brown eyes (looks black tbh), Curly black medium length hair, fair skinned, wears glasses (cuz I can't see shit without them)

About Me: I'm Indian and I come from a conservative family, and so my upbringing was a bit weird and made me into a weird mess. I would consider myself an introvert. But definitely not someone who sits in a corner of a room and stares. I do enjoy having conversations with people, but my social battery is low and so I get tired pretty quickly. But if I'm speaking to someone who I am really interested in, like my longtime best friend, I would talk for HOURS!!!. When it comes to friendships, I'm a very selective person. I'm not someone who gets close with people as it's very hard for me to open up, as I'm quite reserved. I also don't get along with a lot of people so 🤷🏻. Also, people have pointed out that I look unapproachable and Intimidating as I have a resting bitch face. I maybe having the best time of my life but my face does not show it, at all 💀. Or sometimes, I get really stoic and people can't tell whether I'm sad, happy, or angry lol.

I'm a level headed person, but sometimes people get on my nerves and I'm the type to bottle all of those emotions. Then when a minor inconvenience happens, BOOM! I will literally turn into a demon and my whole day just got ruined.

I'm someone who really cares about my loved ones. I will protect them from anything and I will help them out in any way I can. I'm a good listener and love to empathise with people who are hurt or would let people rant so they can feel better. I'm the therapist and the mom friend of my friends group so.... Yeah, I care about the ones I love wayyy too much. My love language is acts of service, words of affirmation and gift giving. Also, as much as I love giving love and care to others, I hate receiving it as I have mentioned before, have a hard time opening up. It takes a lot of trust and a lot of time for me to do so. So basically I give therapy to others meanwhile my mental health is blown to shit.

When it comes to work, I'm very organised and hard working. I don't like procrastination as it drives me nuts (Even though I still do it sometimes, idk why). I'm logical, focused and very passionate on the things I love. My favourite subjects are Math and Physics as I do fairly well in them. I'm not the best but I work hard and it pays off. That's why I'm opting for Aerospace Engineering in college. I take my work very seriously and definately not the type to fuck around.

Outdoors, I come off very cold and serious, but indoors I am very goofy, silly, pretty stubborn and bossy (sometimes stupid). I love doing small pranks and doing weird things that crosses my mind. I'm very loud and laugh at the stupidest things that I see or hear. Also love to play around with my pet cats. I'm a huge geek/nerd and love to talk about my hyper-fixations. Also, I'm a huge animal person and I love to feed strays and sometimes, I take them home with me. 😄

I'm very loyal but I can cut ties with people who have done me wrong. 100% has no problem in confronting people. I also suffer from ADHD, PTSD and mild depression. I also have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek or fidget my fingers or shake my legs.

Likes/Interests/hobbies: video games, reading books, writing, drawing, cooking, baking, watching murder documentaries, taking care of animals, horror, sci fi and action movies, tea, spicy food, rain, gardening, math, science, literature, history, travelling, listening to music.

My type in a partner:

Should be very passionate

Hard working, wise, mature and adventurous

Someone whom I can banter with and make me feel secure

Can be extroverted, introverted or ambiverted.

Can be on the playful side.

Alejandro Vargas (a/n @queenof-spades WE LOVE WOMEN IN STEM!! also girl I relate so hard to the conservative parents who push you to be the best :') good luck with all your studies!)

How you met: A trip to an aerospace engineering company was not on Alejandro's bucket list for the year. Especially after the last contracted company they dealt with (he's still getting his base in order after the fiasco of Graves and the Shadows). However, another joint mission with the 141 required a preview of some new satellites and other multimillion dollar technologies. After going through rigorous amounts of security, him and Rudy finally met up with the 141. "Nice to see you again, hermanos," he said as he shook hands with his British counterparts. They were making small conversation when you walked in. Your shoes echoed in the facility and a long lab coat hung around your shoulders. "Gentleman, welcome to Boeing. I'm the lead scientist here and you can follow me on a tour of the facilities," you said confidently and quickly turned to lead them through the expansive company. As you introduced them to the team of engineers and showed them the technologies of your newest satellites, they stood in awe. "This satellite is equipped with the best monitoring technologies and can withstand the temperatures of exiting and entering the atmosphere," you described as you jokingly pounded on the hard metal shell of the satellite. "She does not fuck around," you heard Alejandro whisper and the group laughed in response. "That's right Colonel Vargas, there's a reason I'm working here at Boeing and worked my ass off for a doctorate," you smirked at him. As you continued on, the blush was evident on his face as he felt like he was struck by cupid's arrow.

A peek into your relationship: It was no denying your relationship with Alejandro was difficult. Between his position as Colonel and yours as the head scientist at Boeing, you both wracked up thousands of miles on business flights. However you made it work and were now comfortably settled in a comfortable south western mansion that offered you excellent wifi for meetings. You signed off from a consulting meeting with a new company that wanted to contract your planes and sighed as you shut your laptop. The last few days you were on edge and your husband took notice as you declined his offer for wine and gently pushed your food around. "Mi corazon, what's going on?" he asked as he got up from the table and kissed your head gently. "Just work things," you sighed as you melted into his touch. "You love work through, there's something else going on," he said and carried you to the couch, "you even turned down a glass of our favorite wine." As he studied your face intently, you asked him a surprising question. "Ale, do you love me?" you asked. It took him 0.2 seconds to respond. "Are you joking? Of course I love you, you are my moon and stars. You are like if the heavens sent me a goddess to walk on earth. You are Persephone, Aphrodite, and Athena all rolled into one," he exclaimed as he peppered you with kisses. You smiled slightly and nervously held his hands. "I, um didn't know how to say this but I'm pregnant," you said quickly and looked at his face for any sign of anger or disappointment. You had kept this from him so long as you didn't want it to affect his opinion on your work and traveling so often. You weren't about to be confined to a house wife position after all this time. Instead of a negative reaction, he scooped you up in his arms and spun you around. He held you stomach as he kissed it gently and whispered, "my own child, you're going to have the best parents." As he pulled you in a tight hug and kissed you softly, he was already designing plans for their nursery and how to encompass everything you both loved into it. (Just know that this child will be absolutely spoiled by you too, especially if Ale became a girl dad HAHA)