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#i watched all the episodes with my mom when i was a kid and i still watch it sometimes
wundurrae · 2 days
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@rattatoinger
saw someone do something similar and got motivated lol
I present to you…Albert rates F1!!! ( but they know nothing )
(parentheses is my input)
Oscar Piastri: He’s so me! He kind of looks like a side character in a Disney movie, he looks like the best friend of a Disney original movie whose there for like the first 10 minutes of the movie and then you never see him again. He’s silly.
Lando Norris: He has very strange unexplainable vibes. If he was next to me on a bus I’d scoot away. If he was my Uber driver I would play those “play this if you feel unsafe” audios. He also looks like he’s gonna have a mental breakdown. One curly fry in his normal fries away from ending it all. Probably be really good at the uncanny valley trend ( for some reason ).
George Russell: He looks like a middle school boy. Like an elementary school boy. He looks like when you open Facebook and there’s just a random kid. Looks like he’s the little brother of someone at a pta meeting. He made everyone play airplanes with him at recess. Looks like he’d help an old lady across the street but the wrong way.
Lewis Hamilton: Looks like a Dhar Mann actor. Would go on strike. “So you see…” If you stared at him for too long his eye would start twitching. Would flip if you ask him if he’s okay after that. Would be bandit in that one obstacle course bluey episode where he cheats and throws bluey to win.
Charles Leclerc: If he sneezed too hard his hair would jump off and crawl away. A creature. Polite, but a creature nonetheless. Really nice and great but if he stubbed his toe he’d start speaking in tongues. ( When showed a picture of a younger Charles ): he looks like that kid who cried cause his cat was gonna get sold.
Carlos Sainz: gives off the vibe of the guy who green screens himself onto the TikTok thirst traps. If I was in a coffee shop and he was behind me in line I’d get out of line to get away from him.
Max Verstappen: If there was a Minecraft movie he’d play Steve. Really square ( not sure if that’s a compliment ). Would give up his bus seat to a pregnant mother. Delightful. Would be scared of snap bracelets.
Sergio Perez: ( There was silence for a good minute ). Looks like the male version of “A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops.” Tucks phantom hair behind his ear and bats his eyelashes.
Logan Sergeant: Looks like Preston plays. Looks like he gets called a meow meow on tumblr. Would insist on watching horror movies but then scream and hide behind the couch when anything remotely scary happens. If he smiled really wide all of his molars would be gold teeth.
Alex Albon: He looks like if Mikey from tmnt was a person. Would partake in the trend where people do the spin and their boyfriends run in and grab them. Would have eaten glue as a kid. Gives off square marble vibes. Spoon in the fork drawer. Would also give up his seat to a pregnant mother.
Fernando Alonso: He has the human eyes that dogs have. Wouldn’t scoot away, I would just get nervous everytime he moves. At least once in his life has held out a hat for a penny.
Lance Stroll: Looks like he posts TikTok thirst traps but all the comments are making fun of him. Would turn around and say “so erm…that just happened.” Give the waiter a stink eye if they took too long to get his water. The villain in the Dhar Mann universe. Would be given a shitty redemption arc that doesn’t redeem him.
Esteban Ocon: ( Would have said toxic masculinity but saw the photo of him with the face mask things on ). Looks like he glued his hair back on. Looks like nat the rat from Barbie island princess. Why does he have an eagle? Looks like he was born in 2017 and never left. Also gives off “erm…so that just happened.”
Pierre Gasly: Is he ugly on purpose?
Yuki Tsunoda: I like him! Looks like he’d be mischaracterized by an entire fandom. Would be called “a little bean” and never be able to escape it. Guides an old lady across the street but the right way. Tried an ouija board and got cursed. Would say he’s a pro gamer but only plays fortnite and is kinda bad.
Daniel Ricciardo: Coquette. Looks like he sings the song that goes “Baby lock them doors and turns them lights down low.” Gives off the vibes of the “ROOTBEER” guy. ( when shown one specific picture ) LOOKS LIKE THE THUMB PEOPLE FROM SPY KIDS.
Nico Hulkenberg: Looks like a street interviewer. “Reminds me of Johnny Bravo as well” If Johnny Test was raised in a normal family with good values. Looks like a very distant cousin twice removed of Gordon Ramsey. Unironically listens to Ed Sheeran and plays it REALLY loud. You’d catch him humming “Shape of You” Looks like he’d go to a library solely for picture books. The uncle that only shows up to weddings and gets absolutely wasted. He probably ate his twin in the womb.
Kevin Magnussen: Thought his name was Kevin Magnussy. Is always in pain, even just a little bit. Turned 9 and went “augh my knees…” Eats garnishes off dishes ( forced to specify: grabs them full force with closed fist, gripping it, shoves it into his mouth and then goes back to normal ). If you tried to tell him about your interests he’d go “haha yeah” and walk away. Looks like he’d say “Don’t kill yourself…You’re so sexy haha”
Zhou Guanyu: ( When learning about his cat ) Sweetcorn? That’s cute! Would hear about controversial topics but does not research. He definitely posts fake paparazzi videos. Reminds me of the baby in the sardines commercial in cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
Valterri Bottas: Looks like Bertram. Drinks the ink out of pens ( force to specify: would drink the ink out of pens, you’d come back and ask him where it went, deny involvement but all of the ink would pour out of his mouth ). Looks like he purposefully goes into target and scratches the bottoms of Stanley cups off to give everyone lead poisoning.
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rhoorl · 6 hours
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Delta Landscaping | Chapter 17: Cousin Joel
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Series Masterlist | Chapter 17 A03 Link 323 Mulefall Crt Chapter One: Monday (by @trulybetty)
Word Count: 7k
A/N: This is probably the chapter I’ve been the most excited about. In case you missed it, the Delta Landscaping universe is expanding. @trulybetty and I have been collaborating behind the scenes for months on this companion series. More to come at the end!
Previously on As the Mule Falls: Benny featured heavily as the boys continued to get him ready for fight night. The neighbors hosted a party at Lucille’s house to welcome the Pikes and Vanessa to the neighborhood. Benny and Vanessa finally kissed, which was inadvertently live-streamed via the Pike’s Ring doorbell camera. 
In this Episode: If this were an actual TV show, this would be the episode when that special guest star they’d been teasing all season finally shows up. dun dun dun Cousin Joel finally arrives. Before we get to him though, there’s some Benny and Vanessa to get through. Then we have the boys at the gym and enjoying a meal together. Thoughts on which neighbor Joel meets first?
Chapter Warnings: Cousin Joel. I’ve edged you for months with his arrival and he’s finally here. Other warnings - mention of hangovers, children, flustered Benny, the boys at the gym, swearing, and more food. Also, David. But, you should already that by now. 
*Cue the theme music and roll opening credits*
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Five Days to Fight Night
Marcus groaned as he heard Mariella flopping around in her crib through the baby monitor. He could already feel the pounding headache starting despite preemptively taking some Tylenol last night. 
Next to him, Victoria rubbed her eyes. “I'm never drinking again,” she groaned.
With a chuckle, Marcus leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Get some rest sweetheart, I'll get the kids up. Don't worry about today. Stay home. Vandy and I can take them to the aquarium.”
“Oh shit, that was today, ughhh. I'm the worst mom ever.” She flipped on her stomach, burying her head into the pillow. 
“Baby, you're not the worst. You're just a mom with a hangover. Just sit tight, I'll bring you some coffee soon.”
“Can you just pluck my eyeballs out instead, they're throbbing,” she whined.
“Hangovers are a bit different than in your 20s huh?” He smirked. “I'll be back, mi amor.”
Victoria looked up, squinting as she watched her husband throw on a pair of thin gray sweatpants. “I love you.”
He paused as he fed his arms through his faded Washington Capitals T-shirt sleeves. “I love you too. As much as I love seeing you like this,” his eyebrow twitched as his eyes dragged down her body, appreciating how little of the comforter was covering her naked form, “you should probably throw some clothes on in case you get an unexpected visitor.”
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Vanessa padded down the stairs to the smell of coffee and pancakes as Disney Junior played softly on the TV. She was still on cloud nine from her kiss with Benny after he walked her home last night.
She rounded the corner to the kitchen and leaned against the wall, a soft smile across her face as she watched Marcus. He hummed a tune to himself as he cut up strawberries for Mariella, swaying to whatever imaginary beat he was playing in his head. It was in these small moments that Vanessa appreciated her brother-in-law even more; he was her standard for what a father and husband should be.
Sensing someone behind him, Marcus turned around slowly before a giant smile flashed across his face realizing who it was. “Oh hey, Vandy! You have a good walk home last night? Benny get you back here ok?” He tried to suppress his grin, eyes following Vanessa as she walked over to the coffee pot. Her cheeks flushed, remembering the way her and Benny's tongues tangled together.
“He did, it was a good…walk,” she cleared her throat. “Where's Vic?”
“Your sister is nursing what she calls ‘the world's worst hangover’ so she's still in bed,” Marcus said as he flipped a pancake. “Looks like it's just you and me taking them to the aquarium today,” he nodded toward the living room.
“Buck, you're probably not feeling too hot either, you guys got back late. You can stay, I'll take them. Besides, I'm sure having hours to yourselves with an empty house will perk Vic right on up,” she snorted as she sipped her coffee.
Marcus shifted his weight to one leg, drumming his fingers along the quartz countertop. Vanessa had a point. He did have a splitting headache and would much rather spend a lazy day in bed with his wife than surrounded by people.
“You make a compelling case…you sure you're ok taking both of them on your own?” He looked over at Vanessa who nodded with a tight smile. She was an amazing aunt and the kids adored her, but he knew she got anxious doing things alone with them in public. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off. “Hey, I know…why don't you ask Benny to go with you?”
“Bunny?! I see Bunny?” Mariella screamed from her high chair, clapping her little hands.
“Umm…we'll see Mari,” Vanessa called over before she turned to Marcus. “She has superhero hearing I swear,” she whispered.
“Only when it suits her,” Marcus winked.
“You put me in a real bind here, Buck. She's going to be so disappointed.”
“Just ask, I'm sure he'll say yes,” he avoided her gaze as he put some pancakes on a plate for her.
“I'm sure he has plenty of better things to do on a Sunday than spend it with two kids at an aquarium,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, pouring syrup over her neatly formed stack.
“Yeah but you'll be there…c'mon just try, give him a call…pleaaaase,” he pouted. “Do it for Mari.’
“That's downright cruel you know, using your daughter like that,” she narrowed her eyes with one hand on her hip.
Marcus threw his hands up in surrender, “you'll thank me later.”
Vanessa took a deep breath as she eyed her phone.
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Will couldn't help but grin when Benny trudged into the kitchen, tossing his phone on the counter and running a hand through his hair. He’d been debating texting Vanessa good morning but didn’t want to seem too eager.
“How was the rest of your night?”
Benny's eyes narrowed. Will was a morning person, sure, but he was a bit too chipper. “Good…just walked Vanessa home.”
“How'd that go? Made sure she got there safe and sound?” Will winked.
Benny was thankful to have his back to his brother as he poured his coffee. He blushed remembering their kiss…and what he did once he got home.
“Speak of the devil, look who's calling,” Will picked up Benny's phone from the counter and handed it to his brother, eyeing him as he listened to one side of the conversation. 
Benny shifted from one foot to the other as he talked to Vanessa. He sported a toothy grin as he rubbed the back of his neck, occasionally breaking into some nervous laughter. 
“I really don't mind…when do we leave…ok I'll be there. See you soon.” He stared at his phone as he hung up.
“Sooo?”
Benny told him about how the Pikes were nursing hangovers and that the kids were supposed to go to the aquarium today. He noted that Vanessa sounded nervous to ask him to go with her, but he accepted before she could get it out. 
“Wow, I know you like kids but damn, she must really be special,” Will chuckled.   
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Victoria managed to get herself out of bed in time to help change the kids into their marine-themed outfits and pack their bags. She sat on the couch fussing with Mariella to get her little curls into pigtails when Marcus walked by, arms flexed while carrying a folded stroller. 
“Babe, I’m going to go put this in Vandy’s car and then I’ll come back to load up the bags.”
“Ok…looking good there Agent Pike,” she winked as he rolled his eyes, even though his chest puffed out at her praise. If there was one thing about Victoria, she always made sure Marcus knew how much she appreciated him in all aspects.
As Marcus closed the trunk of Vanessa’s SUV he heard heavy footsteps behind him, turning in time to see Benny walking up the driveway. 
“Oh hey man,” Marcus waved.
“Hey! How’re you feeling?” Benny shook Marcus’ outstretched hand.
“Killer headache, but I’m in better shape than Vic. Thanks for going with Vandy, means a lot that she won’t have to go by herself,” Marcus smiled.
“Course, it’s going to be fun…need help loading anything else up?” 
“Nah, all good. Just have to get Nico and corral Hurricane Mari, but it’ll help now that you’re here. She may listen to you. C’mon, come inside.”
Benny and Marcus walked over the threshold just as Vanessa came down the stairs. She was dressed in a simple black athletic dress and sneakers. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail with a Tampa Bay Rays baseball cap. Benny’s eyes trailed down her neck to her exposed collarbone, involuntarily licking his lips as he remembered kissing it mere hours ago.
Vanessa paused when she saw Benny, amazed at how made the most casual outfit look so good. He paired a tie-dyed “Miller Contracting” T-shirt with a simple pair of slate gray shorts. His hair was still damp, he clearly took a quick shower before coming over. He passed his baseball cap between his hands as he looked at her, his eyebrows doing that little puppy dog look that always made her melt.
“Bunny!” Mariella squealed, getting herself down from the couch and scurrying over to Benny who quickly picked her up and tossed her in the air to a fit of giggles.
“Hey baby girl, you excited to go see some fishies?” 
Mariella babbled on as Marcus and Victoria gathered everything and Vanessa got her crossbody and keys. Nico looked on a bit shy as he packed up his tablet and headphones into his backpack 
“Hey bud,” Benny bent down on one knee, Mariella clutching his side. “I'm excited to hang out with you today.” 
Nico smiled and Vanessa’s heart skipped a beat. She knew she was getting ahead of herself, but she couldn't help the butterflies seeing how seamlessly Benny fit into her family. 
Walking up to Benny, she quickly hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, “It’s not too late if you want to back out,” she whispered.
“Nah, you’re stuck with me,” he winked. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to go to this aquarium, just didn't wanna go by myself.”
With a wave to Marcus and Vanessa, they were off. Benny offered to drive, but Vanessa politely declined, saying she needed him on entertainment duty should Mariella grow tired of her tablet. 
They seemed to hit every red light on the way to the interstate, but it gave Benny and Vanessa a chance to steal glances at each other. At one particularly long light, she looked over and noticed his hand twitch before covering it with his other hand in his lap.
“Everything ok?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Hmm? Oh yeah… it’s just…” He didn't want to admit how nervous, but excited he was. “I haven't told you yet, but you look really pretty today.” He swallowed hard.
Vanessa was thankful the light turned green, so she could face forward and try to cover the fact that she was starting to blush. “Well, thank you. You look pretty good today yourself.”
“Thanks.”
She placed her hand on the gear changer, seeing out of the corner of her eye that he was looking at her hand. Deciding to just go for it, she moved her hand to grab his, which he eagerly took. He brought their joined hands up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand, and then moved to each knuckle. They stayed like that for a while before Benny dropped her hand so he could rest his on her thigh. The contact sent an electric pulse down Vanessa's spine.
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David: How's everyone feeling? Just came back from a run and everyone looks to still be sleeping.
Melissa: How are you even up right now? My head feels like it’s in a vice 😩
Ty: He got up at 6. He's unfazed
David: I feel fantastic! 
David: Thoughts on inviting Tori and Ness to this group chat?
Megan: Already have nicknames for them huh? 😆 But I vote yes, they're fun!
Ty: Agreed, they're fun. Ness is so sweet, I'm trying to see if I can help her find a job.
Olivia: That's so sweet of you Ty!
Lucille: She and Benny are so sweet.
Oliva: They’re so cute!! 😍
David: Who's going to be the one to spill that we all watched them kiss?
Ty: I feel like we know *cough* Liv
Oliva: Hey!
Katie: Aw guys, we can’t say anything. They're going to be so embarrassed if they find out! I swore Will to secrecy
Ty: You hear that babe? Zip it.
David: Alexa play Our Lips Are Sealed 
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“Aaaand we're here! Sit tight while Bunny and I load up ok?” Vanessa looked back at her niece and nephew who nodded enthusiastically.
She popped her trunk open and got out, slipping on her crossbody before making her way around to the back of her SUV. There, she saw Benny busying himself with unloading the stroller, struggling with how to unfold it. 
“Here, it’s just…this latch right here,” she pointed. 
She used her sunglasses as a cover to admire how Benny’s forearms flexed as he undid the latch and opened up the stroller before going to help get Mariella out of her car seat. The toddler protested a bit when Benny tried to put her in her stroller. Vanessa couldn't help but laugh, realizing that Benny was going to get a full dose of headstrong Mariella today. 
“Bunny, no…uppies! Uppies peeeease!” She pleaded, raising her hands toward him.
Vanessa was about to step in when Benny put his hand up to stop her and turned his attention to Mariella. “Baby girl, how about this. When we get inside the aquarium you get allll the uppies you want. But right now when we’re in the parking lot, can you go in the stroller for me? Please?”
The little girl twisted her face as she processed what he said before finally pointing to her stroller. Benny pulled out some Goldfish crackers from the lunchbox, placing some on the tray in front of Mariella who clapped and eagerly started shoveling them into her mouth.
“Dang, Goldfish crackers at an aquarium. Your sister is hardcore,” Benny quipped as he started walking with the stroller.
Vanessa giggled. “You’re kind of a natural at this, you have any kids I should know about?” She side-eyed him with a smirk as she and Nico walked hand-in-hand towards the entrance. 
Benny brushed his hair back and put on his hat. “Nah, I don't have any kids. I do have a niece though. Well, she's technically not my niece, she's my cousin Joel’s daughter, Sarah…she made me this shirt,” he proudly showed it off. “I lived with Joel for a bit when she was a toddler. I dunno, being around Mari reminds me of those times.” 
“Well, you're a natural,” Vanessa smiled, noticing how his face lit up when he talked about Sarah.
They walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence, making the queue to purchase tickets. Despite her protest, Benny insisted on paying for everyone and stopping to take the commemorative photo at the entrance. As soon as they scanned their tickets, Mariella put her hands up and made a grabby motion with her tiny hands.
“You have a good memory,” Benny chuckled as he picked her up. “C'mon let’s go explore huh?”
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Vanessa noticed that every time they stepped foot into a new room Benny quickly scanned the space to identify all of the exits. Although it broke her heart that being on alert was second nature to him, it did make her feel safe. Outside of Marcus, she had never felt safer with another man than Benny. It definitely helped ease her anxiety about going out with Mariella and Nico alone.
Benny was so patient with the kids. Mariella clutched at his side like a baby koala. His arms had to be hurting, but he never complained. The pair was simply adorable. Occasionally, she asked to be put down so she could walk up to a tank. It was in those moments when Benny made sure to pay extra attention to Nico, which elicited big, but shy smiles from the boy.
Mariella insisted her brother walk her to the next exhibit, the one with jellyfish she was so excited about. Vanessa looked on affectionately as the two navigated their way hand in hand. She didn't realize that Benny had moved closer to her, his hand brushing against hers before he finally reached for it. He looked up at the sign as they walked under it and snorted. 
“What’s so funny?” Vanessa arched an eyebrow. 
“Sorry…it's just,” he chuckled, angling his chin up so Vanessa could read the sign. 
No Bone Zone
“Hell of a name for an exhibit, don't cha think?” 
Vanessa groaned and rolled her eyes which made Benny clutch his stomach as he laughed. 
“Sorry, sorry…I just had to, it was too funny to pass up,” he flashed the biggest smile.
“I feel like I could make a joke, but I don’t know…” Vanessa smirked. 
“Make a dirty joke here? With kids around?” Benny sarcastically scoffed. “What am I going to do with you boss lady?”
Vanessa flashed a mischievous look. She got up on her tiptoes, her lips hovering around his ears, goosebumps forming on his forearms, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She quickly got back flat on her feet, winked at him, and scurried off to catch up with Mariella and Nico, leaving Benny a bit stunned…and insanely turned on. 
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“It kinda smells weird, you smell that?” Benny asked, sniffing the air before he turned to see Vanessa's smirk. “What?”
Vanessa turned her attention to Mariella, “Do you need your diaper changed?” Mariella nodded and then turned to Benny who suddenly looked panicked. “Don’t worry Bun, I won't subject you to the full immersive experience,” she winked. She grabbed the backpack and turned to her niece, “Ok, we'll be back, ven aquí mi amor.”
Mariella reluctantly let go of Benny’s hand. He turned to Nico who looked nervous. To his left, Benny noticed a small interactive table for kids with some activities. “Nico, wanna go over there while we wait on the girls? I think they have coloring.”
Nico’s face lit up as he walked up and saw some coloring pages. He found a spot to sit while Benny struggled to get his tall frame into one of the small chairs. Once seated, he grabbed a few colored pencils and asked which animal was Nico's favorite so he could start sketching. 
Benny got a bit frustrated with himself, not liking how the fins of the shark were turning out. He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair before putting the cap on backward. He noticed Nico looking up at him. 
“Tia likes your hat like that.” He said softly before quickly focusing his attention back on coloring.
Benny felt himself blushing, wondering what Vanessa may have said for Nico to know that. He cleared his throat and picked his pencil back up to continue sketching. “You know, I really like your Aun- I mean your Tia.” 
Nico nodded, not looking up as he continued to color in his cartoon shark. After a few moments, he stopped and turned to face Benny. “Her last boyfriend made her cry a lot. Are you going to make her cry?”
Benny shook his head, his brows pinched as he regarded the boy, “No, no buddy. That's the last thing I wanna do.”
“Good, because I like when she smiles. And she smiles a lot around you. And she laughs too. I like that.” And with a small smile, he went back to coloring.
Benny could feel himself tearing up at the boy's candor. He didn't know a lot about Vanessa's ex, but he gathered it was a bit tumultuous at best.
“You boys having fun?” Vanessa appeared behind Benny, her eyes looked a bit misty seeing the boys bonding.
“Sure are, nice to have some guy time, right Nico?” Benny knocked the little boy lightly on his shoulder. 
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“You really don't have to get them anything, Bun,” Vanessa leaned over as they watched Mariella peruse the stuffed animals in the gift shop while Nico looked at the books.
“I know, but I want to. It was a fun day, we should get something to remember it.” Mariella excitedly pointed at a pink jellyfish, her big brown eyes looking up at Benny. “This one?” He pointed to the toy, laughing when she started jumping up and down. “What about you darlin’?” He looked at Vanessa.
“Me? I… you're sweet, but I don’t need anything.” She looked down, feeling her face get warm.
“C’mon, course you do. My treat.”
Vanessa grinned as she looked at the display of stuffed marine animals, trying to control herself when all she wanted to do was squeal and kick her feet.
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“Here, let me drive,” Benny lightly grabbed Vanessa's wrist after they finished loading everything up. “Just relax, I've got this.”
“Ok, thank you.” Vanessa smiled. Today was fun, but also overstimulating. She was thankful for the offer and appreciative that Benny thought to do it.
As they pulled out of the parking lot, she looked over her shoulder to see both kids passed out. Benny turned on the radio, turning it down slightly as he hummed along. Vanessa rested her head against the headrest and turned her face toward Benny, admiring how his forearm on the steering wheel flexed when he turned a corner. 
She reached for his right arm, fingers grazing down his forearm until she reached his hand and threaded her fingers with his. He glanced over with a quick smile and brought her hand up, again pressing his lips to it. The rest of the drive they kept in some contact, whether it was holding hands or Benny resting his hand on Vanessa's thigh.
When the exit for Torrey Hills was in sight, Benny looked over, “You can say no if you'd rather have some alone time, but the guys’re going to a baseball game tonight…I was gonna stay home and watch a movie since I should get to sleep early…if you wanna come over…no pressure.”
Vanessa placed her hand on top of the one Benny had rooted on her thigh, “I'd like that. I can make you something for dinner. My treat for putting up with us all day.”
“You don't need to do that sweetheart. It was fun, I liked hanging out with you…all of you.”
“Bun, I know you have to be hungry. Goldfish crackers and that sad turkey sandwich from the café didn't cut it…besides, I can’t have you starving on my watch. We have to keep your strength up for Friday, right?”
Benny glanced over with a smirk, “Good point. I’m kinda trying to win this fight. I’ve got some extra…motivation.”
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Four Days to Fight Night
“I made it baby girl…yeah, I’ll tell them you said hi…maybe we can FaceTime with everyone later ok? Alright, have fun with your mom. Love you.”
Joel cursed under his breath as he walked out of baggage claim to the bustling, chaotic scene that was arrivals. The Florida humidity was thick and he already felt the beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. He set his backpack on the ground and undid the buttons on his green plaid shirt, deciding to just go ahead and take it off leaving him in his white Miller Contracting T-shirt. 
He spotted Will’s Jeep in the distance, waving over the crowd which Will acknowledged as he made his way over to the curb.
Will looked around Joel, brow furrowed as his cousin opened the door, “Where’s Tommy?”
“Well hello to you too,” Joel scoffed, putting his suitcase in the back before settling into the passenger seat. “It’s hot as hell here man.”
“Welcome to Florida,” Will winked, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Good to see you J.” He put the Jeep in drive and started to make his way out of the chaos.
“Good to see you too man. Sarah says hi, she sent me with some stuff for you and the guys.”
“She’s a sweetheart…hopefully you can bring her next time. I’m sure Bean will lose his mind wanting to take her over to Disney or something,” Will chuckled.
“Yeah and maybe Tommy’ll stay out of trouble for more than five goddamn minutes and he can come too,” Joel shook his head as he took in the rows of palm trees lining the road.
“What’d he do this time?”
Joel took a deep breath in through his nose and out, “I dunno…he went to a bar, sounds like some guy was harassin’ the bartender…girl he likes. Anyway, one thing led to another and he decked the guy, knocked ‘em unconscious, so he got taken into Travis County. By the time he got around to callin’ me it was early this mornin’ and I needed to leave for the airport...at least I have a free airline ticket now,” Joel shook his head with a smirk. 
“Damn…sounds like we should have had him out here to help Fish train Benny then huh?” Will looked over with a lopsided grin.
“How’s he doin’?” Joel asked.
Will glanced over, “Gotta say, I was really nervous when he first signed up for this but over the last week or so…I dunno man, he's unstoppable.”
“Good…good. Reckon Nox has something to do with that. She seems like a sweet girl.” Joel looked over quickly making eye contact briefly before the stoplight turned green.
Will paused, taking in the fact that Joel not only had an unprompted nickname for Vanessa already, but he seemed so supportive of the relationship. “She is…really sweet girl and she looks at Benny like he's the most important person in the world, which is a good thing because he does the same with her,” Will chuckled. “He's started drawing again…even singing too, heard him in the shower the other day. He thinks I don’t notice, but I'm pretty sure I saw him writing too.”
“The kid sounds happy, he deserves it…” Joel trailed off, smiling at himself.
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David: 🚨 🚨 COUSIN JOEL ARRIVES TODAY 🚨 🚨 
Megan: I'm surprised you aren't camped out on your lawn waiting!
Ty: Don't give him ideas. We're out scouting a couple of wedding venues for a client so we are going to be gone all day.
David: The. Worst. So we need one of you to send us the goods when daddy shows up
Megan: 💀
Melissa: Ty do you just walk around with a spray bottle for him 😆 
David: You could dump my ass in the bay and it still wouldn't quench this THIRST
Megan: Well at least you're self aware
David: Katie. I need a flight number. Airline. General ETA. Anythingggg
Lucille: He'll definitely be here by dinner time, Benny asked if I could make them some food for tonight. I’m at the hair salon so I may miss his arrival.
Megan: I’m in the waiting room for Connor’s physical so we’re not around either.
Olivia: I don’t even know what time it is right now. Diana was up and down all night.
Melissa: I’m with a client today. 
David: YOU ALL ARE THE WORST
David: Katie. You’re my only hope. 
David: Katie??
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Joel looked out the window as Will turned into the subdivision and turned down Mule Fall Court. “Looks like a nice place,” he observed.
“It is, I think you’ll like it here. It’s quiet, but the people are really fun.” Will pulled into the driveway and cut off the ignition.
Joel climbed out of the Jeep and took a look around, giving an approving nod at the landscaping in front of 319. He looked further down the street at the other houses and their manicured lawns, stopping to admire the construction of one of the homes a few doors down. It had a beautiful, large window in its front room.
Will started pointing out where everyone lived, starting with Lucille. “Great fuckin’ cook man, you’ll see tonight. She’s been taking care of us so we look after her.” He then pointed out Megan’s house, Melissa and Danny’s, Olivia and Chris’, and David and Ty’s. “And right over there is where Vanessa lives with her sister Victoria and her brother-in-law Marcus.”
“Well, ain't it damn Leave It To Beaver ‘round these parts,” Joel chuckled, wiping the sweat off his forehead. 
A sudden slam of a door made them both turn their heads. Katie carefully rushed across her porch, minding some of the gaps between the planks so as to not trip in her heels and break an ankle. She had rushed home quickly before her big presentation to find an elusive USB drive. Her hands were full as she made her way down to her car, juggling her sweater, purse, and work bag.
“Oh, someone I want you to meet,” Will smiled, patting Joel on the chest as he took off in a light jog down the driveway. “Hey, Katie!” He called over.
She was even more beautiful in person than the photos Joel had seen or that random FaceTime they had a few weeks ago. Trailing behind Will, he cleared his throat, taking full advantage of the fact that he was wearing sunglasses, giving her an appreciative up and down, stopping just a beat longer to admire how her legs looked in her pencil skirt and heels.
“Hey, Will,” Katie responded a bit out of breath.
“Katie, I wanted you to meet Joel,” he patted his cousin on the back. “He’s in town for an overdue vacation and just in time for Benny’s fight this weekend!” 
Joel extended his hand, his sunglasses now pushed to his forehead. “It’s great to finally meet you, Katie. I’ve heard a lot about you from Will,” he said with a friendly smirk. 
“So you’re the infamous Cousin Joel we’ve been hearing so much about?” 
Amused by the question, Joel’s smirk turned into a smile, “Infamous, huh? I hope Will's been keeping it a positive one,” he joked.
Will raised an eyebrow at Joel’s flirtatious tone, one that he knew very well from their younger days, but hadn’t heard in well over a decade. Joel and Katie stayed looking at each other for a beat before the sound of running feet snapped them out of it. 
“J MONEEEEYYY! You made it!” Benny sprinted across the street and leapt at Joel who caught his taller cousin with ease. 
Katie chuckled, seeing Benny so excited. Will mentioned how much he was looking forward to Joel’s visit, but now witnessing his reaction in real time, the energy was infectious. 
“Bean. It’s good to see you.” Joel’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he hugged his younger cousin with equal enthusiasm. 
Benny pulled back after a moment and grinned at Katie, his eyes sparkling excitedly, “So you got to meet the man himself!”
“Indeed,” Katie responded. She knew this sudden uptick in activity at the end of her driveway was sure to have pulled the attention of the Neighborhood Watch. The group chat would be blowing up any minute now. “But, J Money? Did I hear that right?”
Joel laughed, “It’s a nickname,” Benny swung his arm around Joel’s shoulder, “It’s a long story.” 
Katie willed herself not to melt into a puddle with the way Joel smiled at her. Her phone buzzing in her hands brought her back to reality. “Sorry,” she held up her phone. She could have sworn she saw a flash of disappointment sweep across Joel’s face, but she didn’t focus on it.
“Work?” Will asked, giving her a sympathetic look.
“Yeah,” she mumbled as she read Miranda’s message and looked back to the guys. “Unfortunately. Big presentation.”
Will nodded sympathetically. This presentation had been weighing on Katie for the past week, but he knew she could handle it after all the preparation she put in. “No rest for the wicked.” he quipped with a wink.
“Yeah,” Katie rummaged through her tote for her car keys before finally finding them at the bottom of her bag.
Benny pulled Joel’s attention away, running through his training regime for the week. Will walked a couple of steps closer to Katie and placed a reassuring hand on her arm, “You got this Kat.”
“Thank you,” she said with a tight smile. Her phone buzzed again and she sighed, “Okay, I really have to go now.”
They all quickly said their goodbyes, Joel and Katie lingering on each other just a beat longer than the rest. 
“J, you wanna come to the gym today? Fish says I need to take it easy, but I dunno maybe you wanna get in there, see what we've been up to, n’case you have suggestions,” Benny shadowboxed towards Joel as they made their way across the street. 
“Yeah Bean, sounds good, whatever you want man,” Joel smirked, wrapping his arm around Benny’s shoulders.
Benny talked a mile a minute on the way back to the house, Will laughing occasionally at how his brother’s hands flailed as he gestured excitedly. Joel turned his head, catching Katie who watched them all with a smile. He nodded his chin towards her to say goodbye, feeling something he wasn't quite sure how to describe. 
Katie took a deep breath before getting into her car and dialing her phone. “Hey, Miranda, I’m on my way back to the office… yeah I’ve got it. We need coffee, what can I get you?”
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Benny connected with a combination, putting a bit too much behind his last punch, and knocking Frankie off balance.
“Ok, Ben, you're good man, let's put up the gloves and get out of here,” Will called over from the side.
Next to him, Joel chuckled, arms folded in front of him as he stood with his legs hip distance apart. After sitting for a few hours on the flight and then in the car, he didn't mind standing around and watching Benny spar. Santiago tossed a towel to Benny and Frankie while Connor brought their water bottles over.
“Whad’ya think J?” Benny asked as he tried to catch his breath. He flipped his hair back frustrated that it was getting in his eyes.
“Lookin’ good Bean, how are you feeling?”
“Good, actually…yeah, I feel good,” he smiled.
“You need to ask Vanessa to give you a haircut, hermano…you were too distracted with your hair getting in your eyes, I almost got you a few times,” Frankie’s hand ruffled through the front of Benny's hair.
Joel and Will exchanged a knowing look. “She cuts hair too?” Joel asked with an arched brow, eliciting a snort from Santiago.
“She did mine,” Connor offered, his bright eyes looking up at Joel.
Joel gave the boy a once over, his head cocked to the side with an approving look and shrug. “Talented girl, huh Bean?”
“Wonder if you’ll get some special treatment, Ben, get the full service,” Santiago snorted, ducking to avoid Frankie slapping him upside the head as he cut his eyes towards Connor.
Benny felt his face getting hot so he turned on his heels and headed toward the weights, missing the way all the guys tried to stifle their laughter. 
The group trailed behind, pairing off to different stations to finish their workouts. Joel walked over to Benny, who sat on a bench checking his phone.
“Need a spot?” Joel asked softly.
Benny turned around, sporting a big smile, “Yeah, that'd be great.” He reclined onto the bench and under the bar bracing himself to do some bench presses. 
“This gonna be your last fight Bean?” 
“We'll…see…depends on…how it…goes,” Benny managed between reps, racking the bar and taking a deep breath. 
“You seem more focused this time…this guy do somethin' to piss you off or what?” Joel chuckled softly to himself. As he brought the bar off the rack, his chest tensed, waiting for Benny to start his next set.
“Nah,” Benny chuckled. “I dunno…feels like…things are…clicking,” he let out a big exhale. 
“That's good Bean, that's good,” Joel looked down with a soft smile as Benny gritted his teeth to finish the set.
After two more sets, Benny slid from under the bar, sitting up and wiping his brow with his shirt.
“You should get that haircut,” Joel smirked.
Benny looked down at his feet, feeling warm as he thought about Vanessa and her fingers in his hair like they were the night before. As he glanced up at Joel, he chuckled. “You need one too?”
“Nah, but I'll go with you…supervise.”
Benny snorted and they both started laughing. Benny hopped off the bench and gestured towards it. “C'mon old man, you gonna do a couple of sets or what?” 
Joel stretched his arms up, his shirt riding up a bit before he brought his hands to his hips, “Sure, rack it up, Bean.”
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“She should be here any second,” Benny rubbed his hands together looking over to Joel with a huge grin. 
And almost on cue, they heard the doorbell, Frankie moving to answer the door while Will finished setting the table and Santiago poured whiskey for everyone.
“Hola Lulu,” Frankie said softly, the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile before he leaned down to kiss Lucille.
“Hola mi amor,” she leaned in, patting his arm. Frankie pulled back, brows drawn together as he saw she was empty-handed. “I didn’t forget the food Francisco, it’s down there,” she nodded behind her to the little wagon at the bottom of the porch steps. 
Frankie tutted, “¿por qué no llamaste? We would have helped bring this over.”
“Ay, I didn’t want to bother, figured I’d just drop it off anyway.”
“Drop it off?” Benny appeared behind Frankie, Joel trailing behind him. “What do you mean Lulu? You’re not gonna stay and have dinner with us?”
“I didn’t want to impose, mi vida. It’s ok, I have leftovers,” Lucille waved him off.
Joel cleared his throat, pushing himself past Benny so he stood shoulder to shoulder with Frankie. “Hola, señora soy Joel,” he reached out to shake her hand. 
She eagerly took his hand, realizing how frail her small hand looked in his. She felt the rough calluses of his palms, the hands of a working man. He was striking, his broad frame seemed to tower over the other men, but there was a softness tucked away in his eyes as he looked down at her. “Joel. Un placer conocerte. You speak Spanish a lot better que tus primos,” she winked.
Joel chuckled, looking over his shoulder at Benny who pouted a bit. “Well, I cheated a bit. Grew up speaking Spanish because of my mom.”
“Bueno, well, I’ll leave you boys to it,” she started to turn before Joel pipped up.
“Where are you going? Stay with us. How’re we supposed to compliment the cook if she’s gone?” He winked. She got the sense this man could be quite persuasive when he wanted to be.
“Yea, Lulu, please stay,” Benny pleaded, resting his forearm on Joel’s shoulder.
“Ok, ok, fine. Here let’s get everything in before it gets cold,” she motioned towards the wagon.
She spared no expense in preparing this meal, knowing she had five grown men to feed, really six if you count how much Benny had been eating in the lead up to his fight. Arroz con pollo was always a crowd-pleaser and easy to make in bulk. She also brought some yucca, black beans and snuck in a few favorites for the guys – empanadas for Benny, maduros for Frankie, tostones for Santiago, and a flan for Will.
They sat around talking, catching up, and eating. Lucille watched on fondly as Joel shared the latest with his daughter Sarah. His face softened when he spoke of his little girl, she could tell what a proud father he was. 
As the last forks hit the plates, Joel pushed his forward, leaning back in his chair, resting his hands on the back of his head, and letting out a low whistle. “Wow, Lucille, that was delicious. Couldn’t remember the last time I had a meal like that.”
Lucille blushed as the rest of the guys chimed in with their praise. “Oh stop, you mean to tell me you don’t have an old neighbor who cooks for you and your daughter and brother?”
Joel shook his head laughing, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table. “Nah, best Mrs. Adler can do is cookies. They’re mighty fine cookies, mind you, but she’s not much of a cook.”
“Well, I’m glad you liked it,” she pushed back from the table, moving to get herself up to start clearing the dishes. 
Joel moved, resting a hand on hers, “No ma’am, you sit on down. We’ll take care of it.” He stood up and took her plate and glass from her. Frankie, Santiago, and Will all followed suit and started promptly clearing the table.
Benny stayed back, scooting his chair closer to Lucille whose eyes lingered on the men as they walked to the kitchen, “Hey Lulu, I…um…I have a question”
“Que mi vida?” She raised her eyebrow.
“I was wondering if sometime you could show me how to make something.”
“Empanadas may be a little advanced, but we can try it,” she smiled, patting his hand.
“No, no, not that. I…um…could you show me how to make Cuban coffee sometime?”
She eyed him conspiratorially and nodded, whispering that she’d be happy to give him a lesson just as Frankie returned to the table. 
“Lulu, we’ll clean everything up…return all the dishes tomorrow if that’s ok?”
“Well, with this kind of service I may be making dinner for you all every night,” she laughed.
Benny and Frankie laughed as they helped her get to her feet. 
“C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” Frankie offered her his hand as he walked her over to the kitchen to say goodbye to everyone.
Lucille and Frankie exchanged small talk as they walked the short distance back to her house. Before long, the conversation naturally shifted to Jo. 
“She’s actually coming on Friday, for Benny’s fight,” his hopeful eyes found Lucille’s.
She cocked her head to the side, the corners of her mouth curling up as she rubbed his arm, “Well, I’m excited to meet her. Can’t wait to see the woman who is making you look like that.”
His forehead creased, “Look like what?”
“In love.” She said matter of factly. It didn’t take extremely astute powers of observation to see the shift in Frankie’s demeanor over the last two weeks. The sadness that used to be at the surface, ever present in his eyes even when he smiled, had evaporated. There was a glow to him. He seemed more relaxed, sure of himself…happy. 
Frankie chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, taking in her words. With a deep breath, his eyes met hers, “yeah, yeah maybe I am.”
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Next Time on As the Mule Falls: Benny goes to a foodie event with Vanessa (get the Bingo cards back out, we'll have a cameo). The boys have a poker night. And there’s another encounter between Katie and Joel. David also continues to wait until he can get eyes on Joel.
A/N: Hi! Sooo…what do we think? Benny and Vanessa continue to be one of my favorite storylines, but Cousin Joel is right up there! 
I’m still sharing some extras between chapters. Since the last chapter, I posted a little extra of Benny’s Instagram thanks to the creative help of @undercoverpena. I also had a Benny x Vanessa post, After, about how they both reacted to their first kiss. I’m planning on posting another Benny x Vanessa extra about what happened after the aquarium. 
I highly recommend checking out 323 Mulefall Crt if you want some more Cousin Joel! We've been dropping little hints for months and I'm so excited to finally share it. Betty - working on this little universe with you has brought me so much joy. Thank you <3
Until next time!
Taglist: @goodwithcheese / @gemmahale / @trulybetty / @noxturnalpascal / @periodtsparadox
@ramblers-lets-get-ramblin / @maggiemayhemnj / @mysterious-moonstruck-musings /  @avastrasposts / @meveispunk  
@chaoticfestninja / @beboldbebravethings / @casa-boiardi / @katw474  / @laughing-in-th3-purple-rain
@pimosworld / @lynnchun / @anoverwhelmingdin /@lilmizmoz  / @mclibs23
@pedrit0-pascalit0 / @titlee78 / @noisynightmarepoetry / @inept-the-magnificent / @perennialdoll247  
@for-a-longlongtime / @readingiskeepingmegoing / @harriedandharassed / @musings-of-a-rose / @anavatazes 
@sherala007 / @midnightraain / @partyofone3413 / @inthedarkestnight / @millennial-teenybopper 
@csarab615 / @darkheartgatita / @southernbe / @weho2kcmo / @itspdameronthings
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britneyshakespeare · 28 days
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the fact that all grown up ran for five seasons is unaccountable
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xluxsolarisx · 7 months
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seinfeld posting my beloved 🫶
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sherlock-is-ace · 4 days
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#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
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i-like-gay-books · 1 year
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just finished watching wednesday and my sister and i both agreed tyler talks like he’s in love simon
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hauntingblue · 2 months
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NAMI HAS TAKEN ACTION!!! LETSGOOOOO
#when is uta gonna physically fight luffy..... it's just a matter of time#shanks planning on coming back?? its been 84 years.... that probably was only said to makino bc he is trying to sway her.... girl run...#'that's our local sea beast' so he just hangs out??? well fuck me#luffy was just fucking around about the making a new era and look what happened.... apollo blessed him....#the sun god omg.... nika..... ahdahsaj i ws fucking around with that too HAJSHAJA#oh no shit he does actually come back.... i thought this was the same time... omg... THAT'S EVEN SKETCHIER!!!#thinking luffy wss just here alone depressed in foosha and ace was there alone depressed on the forest too...... 🥺🥺🥺#ohhhh little luffy....... like i know she is not dead but something happened..... what....#oh it might seem like she died... elegia destroyed bc of shanks??? what is that and tot music (sounds like catalan meaning all music to me)#beckman has haki too? like zoro........#SHE HAS BEEF WITH SHANKS?? SEE HOW HE IS SKETCHY!! WHATS WITH THAT FACE???#i need to make my evil shanks cosnpiracy board but that whill be implied on my other bigger conspiracy board i am sure#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1030#zeus got free... its namis turn...#usopp and nami being strong and brave for tama..... exactly.....#and so they meet again..... oh new break with momo.......#otama tamed big mom too omg ajdhajshaja prometheus saying she enters mom mode with kids under 10 AHDHAJSHAJ#no way big mom is turning on kaido for this.... SHE KNOWS RYUO TOO??? SHE IS NOT TOUCHING HIM OMG#goodbye page one... jesus.... now his sister..... damn#damn. wasnt expecting all that. now nami can take zeus either way hehe#episode 1031#when are we gonna get ad breaks for the rest of the crew.... we get it zoro and luffy are important.... okay....#sanji carrying zoro.... here we go....#PEROSPERO????? DIEEEE!!!! WHERE IS CARROT???#komachiyo..... TAMAA!!!!! usopp tells nami to take her and run.... NAH!!!! FUCK HER SHIT UP!!!!!!#nami finally fighting omg i have been waiting for this moment#episode 1032
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maddy-ferguson · 8 months
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isn't it crazy how much discourse heartstopper generates when it's a show competing in the children's and family emmy awards
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halfricanloveyou · 7 months
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ok so i watched the new superman show. thought it was just okay romance wise, nothing very exceptional. the animation was weak in a few areas, i think they should have just gone all out and animated it like an anime, like in the myx episode. loved that battle sequence too!! the rest of the animations with the fight scenes were kind of clunky imo.
character wise i think they’re all pretty predictable and fall into the same boring stereotypes. tenacious and ambitious/spunky ‘tomboy,’ goofy comedic relief third wheel black friend, OP main character who’s main trait is being both responsible for all conflict and saving people from said conflict…yeah. it’s literally danny phantom but instead of being ‘sassy’ clark kent just has anxiety.
HOWEVER…taking into account the episode with the loving and kind gay gorilla and his robot-body-but-human-brain-scientist-husband, clark kent being quite possibly the most peggable fictional character to exist, casually depicting lesbian moms, and most importantly being very obviously and overtly anti US government means i objectively have to give it a 10/10 and say it’s the best tv show i’ve ever seen in my life.
also…it’s definitely a kids show (like probably ages 10+) and i can only assume it’s on adult swim because the people at cartoon network are fucking cowards. let cool stuff back on prime time air and stop shoving it all to after hours!!! sometimes midnight is too damn late!
#srsly as a kid i would have LOVED this show so much#but staying up late on saturday night when church starts in the morning???#my mom wouldn’t have let me#what happened to airing the preteen/teen shows after 7:30-8pm??#we don’t all have a DVR to record shit#moment of silence for my sheltered lil homies who like any form of action show at all#censorship is annoying. why is CN following disney SNP rules???#it’s BULLSHIT#shout out to my homies that don’t care about whatever dumb bullshit studios think kids like and just wanna watch cool sword fights#or laser guns or ninjas or superheros or interesting plots that go beyond stand alone episodes#or realistic conflict that isn’t solved with ‘just be nice and do the right thing all the time and then life will be perfect’#kids who like cartoons and fantasy and superpowers and magic#kids who like cool stuff more than funny stuff or stuff about everyday life or stuff that’s for their appropriate age group#the whole appeal of cartoons for kids like me who daydreamed a lot was that i could use them as an escape#i could daydream about myself in those situations and imagine i was in a world where things were different and a weirdo like me would fit in#i couldn’t do that with average disney channel shows or kids shows aimed at 6 year olds#as a preteen/teen i wanted to do anything and everything to not have to think about how hard things were#sorry i’m rambling i’m in one of my hyperfixation spirals again where i enter into obsessive and cyclical thought processes and get excited#and soapbox-y again…i have too many opinions and i get to excited to share them here#cause i’m not able to verbalize them or express them all completely while explaining them in real life#it’s the ADHD. i spent too much time online again and wasted my whole day without realizing it until it’s too late again#went right through lunch and breakfast too. i have got to stop doing this so much.#nobody even cares what i think i should spend my time doing something i enjoy#rather than spending it typing up pointless paragraphs that are as random and sporadic and hard to follow as my thought process#sorry ya’ll. i will be back again tomorrow to do it again 💕💕
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emiliemaria · 1 year
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arthur-r · 2 years
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call me gregor samsa cause i keep having the type of unsettling dreams to wake me up changed in my bed to a monstrous vermin
#this is vaguely a vent i am so sorry#i know i said a couple weeks ago that when i metemorphosis reference i’m like. fine. but these dreams were genuinely so unsettling#i’m always at my school building i don’t know where to go except my one teachers classroom#and every time im on the way there without fail something terrifying happens#the one i just woke up from there was a kid knocking on the windows and pointing at there was claws emerging out of the ground#like something really scary had got buried and i said out loud in my dream hey listen i’m not gonna open the door cause either this is a bad#prank or this is the start of a terrifying dream. so no thank you. but a different kid opened the door#and the monster turned out to be a wolf but it was focused on me specifically. like i managed to get away but instead of chasing the hordes#of all the other students of my school running away it chased me specifically. like dream monsters always do#i hate having enough self awareness that i knew that monster was going to be the start of a bad dream. but not enough to change anything#anyway my sixth grade teacher was also there. in the hallway when i was on the way to my other teachers classroom#hey here’s a thing that happened: my mom asked if i can stay after every monday in his room. hey here’s another thing that happened:#my parents have been fighting so much that there’s no way i’m not staying after at least that much#and i think that if all i do there is stay after then i’m great and i’m golden. problems arise when i fall asleep in his class#can’t do that if i’m not in his friggin class. and he genuinely is the kindest adult to me ever and so my feelings are forever complicated#but at the end of the day i’m having dreams where monsters chase me toward his classroom. so. let’s see if i get any other adult role models#and then i can make a priority list. anyway i have work today. killing biting. different vent post to make#anyway it should go good actually. there’s just a lot of stuff hanging over my head#but hey i am very long overdue to watch the next episode of married at first sight. so. let me remove myself from this vent and be regular#and i am sorry for venting. this was just a very hard way to wake up#me. my post. mine.#delete later#vent cw#ask to tag for anything else
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The Best Kisser
Summary: You were interviewed by Vanity Fair for their lie detector episode which went viral.. and Pedro happened to watch it as well.
Characters: Pedro Pascal x female reader
Genre: romance, fluff
Warnings: flirting, sex jokes
a/n: I am hungry for Pedro Pascal. He. Is. Daddy.
Masterlist
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"Who's the best kisser out of all of your co-stars?"
Your eyebrows raised. "There's a few on that list. I don't think I remember them all."
"Don't worry, we have that list." The woman took out a piece of paper for you to read with the camera zoomed in from above you.
"Ben Covington, Daniel Kaluuya, Grant Gustin? I don't remember... Oh, in that one episode of Flash, right..." You went through the list of names while talking to yourself and stopped.
"Looks like you know your answer?"
"Yeah." You handed her the paper back, pressing your lips into a shy smile. "Pedro Pascal."
"Pedro Pascal? Why?"
You glanced at the camera. "Just because."
Pedro paused the video, a smile lingering on his lips. "Ah, cariño, what am I going to do with you.."
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Oscar's New Year's party was happening tonight. It wasn't huge, mostly just his close friends and family, and your goal was to reconnect with them after your hectic year. You're good friends with both Oscar and Elvira, and they had invited you to come.
"Y/N, glad you could make it!" Elvira hugged you.
"Hey! I brought my mom's famous lemon pie and some beers."
Elvira welcomed you inside. "Perfect. Here, let me get that delicious smelling lemon pie and you can put the beers outside -- away from the kids, you know how it is. Oscar's outside too!"
"Cool, don't eat all the pie!" You teased and made your way to their backyard.
Oscar was there as she said, talking to a few friends, and a certain friend whom you recognized. A very good friend.
"So, how's the night going so far?" You stood between them, surprising the two men with your presence.
"Hey!" Oscar gave you a hug, "It's been a while! How are you?"
"I'm good," You put the beers down and faced the other man. "Señor Pascal."
"Señorita," Pedro smiled, hugging you and placing a kiss on your temple. "I heard you're gonna star in a big movie soon?"
You let out a nervous chuckle, "Hopefully it works out well. Can't tell you guys what it is just yet, but you'll see soon enough."
Oscar had sensed there was something you two needed to talk alone, so he left to help Elvira.
You offered Pedro the beer you brought. "So how about you? Heard you're gonna be on The Last Of Us? That's a pretty big deal."
He shrugged, beer in hand. "Yeah, it's pretty cool. I have yet to actually play the game, but my nephews are elated."
"Well if you want to try out the game you can borrow my console, I have it." You mentioned, though later hitting yourself in the head when you realized you just indirectly invited him home.
He raised a brow. "I didn't know you're into video games?"
"I like to play sometimes, but it's just good to have for my nephews when they're over."
Pedro nodded while noticing there were more people now. "Hey, follow me."
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You and Pedro met when you were shooting a movie, that was 2 years ago. You've kept in touch since, but it was hard to meet in person due to your busy schedules. In the movie you two worked on, both of you were the main characters and the chemistry was off the charts.
Sadly it didn't win or was nominated for awards, but you made a good friend out of it.
It wasn't until Oscar's kid's birthday party that you met Pedro again. You met Oscar through the first Dune movie, and you had no idea that he was best friends with Pedro Pascal.
"It's been a while since I last saw you." Pedro said. "I've missed you, we should hang out more."
You nodded, unable to deny the beat your heart skipped and the blush creeping to your face. You convinced yourself it's the beer. "Yeah, I've missed you too."
Pedro took you to Oscar's balcony, where there were only the two of you. This way you could see the fireworks while also have a private conversation.
"So.. are you seeing anyone right now?" Pedro asked. Despite him being confident in front of the camera and knowing that his fans pray to him day and night, he was still nervous when asking that question.
You were his crush for the longest time -- yes, crushes still exist even for older people. He didn't want to mess it up with you, he knew his persona could come off as a fuckboy who has commitment issues, but he's really not like that.
You shrugged, "Nope. I've just been focusing on myself lately, just.. going with the flow."
Ever since you shot that movie, the chemistry was so great that both of you wanted to make sure it wasn't just 'the high' from filming a movie together and getting too immersed in the characters.
"I saw you in Wonder Woman," You said, "Please never shave off your mustache again."
Pedro laughed, "What, you're a fan of my mustache?"
"Pedro, please." You smiled, leaning against the railing next to him. "I used to play with your facial hair all the time when we were shooting that movie, remember?" You unconsciously traced your fingers along his beard.
The realization only hit you after Pedro was looking at you with adoring eyes. You pulled your hand away and you could feel yourself getting red in embarrassment.
"Sorry, I.. don't know why I did that." You turned the other way, letting the cool wind hit your face in hopes that it'll cool you down.
Pedro chuckled, covering his mouth with his hand, hiding his victory smile and the redness crawling up his cheeks. Did you really just caress his face like that??
Taking a big sip of his beer, Pedro gathered the courage to look at you once more, noticing your (also) flushed face and he smiled. He might have a shot at this after all.
"So," He cleared his throat. "Best kisser, huh?"
You knew exactly what he was talking about. "You.. watched the video?"
"You went viral." He smiled, "Of course I watched it. How could I not? When my cariño is talking so sweetly about me.."
You covered your face, "Okay, so I complimented you. And yes, you were the best kisser out of all my other co-stars. Congrats, I guess?"
Pedro had a grin on his face, a teasing grin, and you're now looking at him with a knowing look. Mostly because you both noticed the change in the mood, noticed that the chemistry is back, and that you both wanted this.
You didn't know how long you two were on that balcony, but it was probably a long time cause the crowd downstairs were starting to count down the new year.
"10! 9! 8! 7!"
Pedro turned his body so he was trapping you between his arms, "So, princesa,"
You looked up at him, holding his intense gaze, waiting for him to finish his question.
"You think I'll still hold that title?"
Your heart fluttered, you could see the hunger in his eyes, and you knew you felt the same way.
"I guess we'll find out."
You said it in barely a whisper, but Pedro picked it up loud and clear. He snaked one hand behind your waist and the other on your face, pulling you closer.
Everyone counted from three, two, one, and Pedro smiled sweetly at you, holding you close with your noses touching before pressing his lips to yours.
This was probably the first time ever you've missed the fireworks, but if this was how you'd spend the rest of your new year's, you really wouldn't mind.
---
a/n: in case you can't tell, I have a massive crush on this man.
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mj0702 · 24 days
Text
The other Bronze – Part 15
The rest of camp went by like a blur. Sarina continued to include you more and more in the daily tasks of training and organisation of the national team and slowly you found joy in your new role (the added bonus of being allowed to yell at Lucy to run faster or to yell at Leah to bring her knees up higher just played right into it). The dutch Head coach saw with growing pride how you transitioned into your position as her new addition of staff. Getting you to sign the contract was one of a task. You didn't give in easy having the legal department rewrite your contract multiple times adding clauses to protect your relationships – if it was the family relationship with Lucy (and let's be honest Keira) or your romantically relationship with Georgia. You also pushed the limit of salary until the very last penny – not that you were able to access the money since it will go straight in an account which was under observation by your guardian Jill Scott. You yourself had a deal with Jill that if you needed some extra pocket money she would take it out of your account but only if you could give a good reason.
Just like now when you were about to book a whole as bag pipers band to pipe “Scotland the Brave” at exactly midnight outside Sarinas room to welcome her new age – aka her birthday. You knew that your adoptive Mom hated bag pipes with passion since it was too squeaky and too loud in her opinion but since you were technically Scottish you couldn't care less. Also you didn't give a flying fudge (Keira banned any swearword since Less, Toons and you went a little overboard one evening at dinner watching a mens game on the tablet) that you would wake up probably the whole hotel – you loved your Mama Rina too much to care. Of course Jill was straight on board with your shenanigans being a big kid herself. So you spent around two hours looking for the perfect pipers and comparing different prices. You settled on three pipers, an additional drummer and three songs. “Scotland the Brave”, “Auld lang syne” and “When the Saints go Marching in” - all very squeaky and loud. You were sure Mama Rina would love you for your great Birthday present – she'll probably strangle you to death but it was worth it.
You were so happy with your purchase that you entered the dining room whistleing and smiling.
“What got you all smiley Bubs?” your sister asked you smiling too seeing you in a good mood
“Just a good day” you answered smiling even wider
“Why do I feel trouble?” Keira now asked appearing next to you
“Maybe that extra Banana at breakfast?” you looked at her innocently
“No.. no it has nothing to do with the banana” the blonde mused giving you a once over
“You're just being paranoid” you waved her off skipping over to your girlfriend and best friends
“I just know you too well” Keira yelled after you and you (again) waved her off with a “yeah yeah”
“She's up to something” the blonde said turning around to Lucy who was about to stuff a bread roll in her mouth stopping mid air
“Let her be Kei... she's slowly getting back to normal after her episode in Barcelona... you and I both know she's still pretending a lot and me freaking out with G didn't help” Lucy said as she watched you shoving Tooney around laughing loudly when the brown haired girl ran into Leah.
“Oh it certainly didn't... and we WILL have a talk about it when we're back in Spain” the blonde answered sending your sister an angry glare “What were you thinking?”
“I wasn't... I just saw her crying and my brain short circuit...” your sister said slowly
“On one side I understand Luce... I do... because seeing her cry is the worst thing in the world – but you can't do that... you can't lose control like this” Keira said softly
“I know” Lucy huffed finally taking a bite of her bread roll
“I DARE YOU LESS!!” Keira and Lucys eyes snapped immediately over to you when you laughed loudly
“No... NO... you can dare all you want but NO” Lessi answered shaking her head frantically her eyes wide
“You know what that means right??” you smirked evilly at her
“I'm NOT declaring you as me football-wife on Social Media” the blonde huffed
“Then suck it up and eat them” you pointed at the offending vegetables on the plate in the middle of the table
“No” Less whined desperately “Keira please... help” she turned to her teammate begging
“Eat your veggies Less....” Keira rolled her eyes seeing that you three just causing chaos again
“But” the light blonde whined
“Less... I want to eat my lunch in peace” now Leah interrupted her glaring “.... if you won't let me eat in peace I'll shove them Brussels sprouts down your throat by myself”
“Wow.... okay” Lessi looks at her capitan shocked and taken aback “No need to get violent – not me fault you miss your girlfriend”
“Don't” Leah warned her teammate pointing at her threatening
“Let's go over there... she can simmer in her bad mood alone” you said grumbling pulling Lessi along “Bet Millie and Rach are very happy to see us”
“Okay Lee... what's up?” Georgia asked watching you plopp down next to Rachel and on top of Millie
“I do miss my girl... but I'm nervous G... we're playing Spain in three Days and I'm nervous” the blonde spilled her thoughts to her best friend
“It's just a friendly Lee... no need to stress about it okay...” your girlfriend said softly “... we use some of the new plays we trained and you'll Skipper the shit out of that game”
“Thanks G... really” Leah said sighing a little more relaxed “Now please go and get your girl under control” she pointed over to you where you were concentrating on snipping peas at Sarina and some staff members under the low cheering of Millie and Rachel
“Oh shit” Georgia said quickly as she followed Leahs gaze scrambling off towards you
“Okay everyone listen up!!” Sarina said loudly when all the Lionesses were seated “As you know we arranged a friendly against Spain in a couple of days – we'll go over the Line-up later today but I want to inform you beforehand that there will be some significant changes due to our new tactics. I plan on giving everyone some minutes – if not this game than the next one which is four days later. Also I want to announce y/n Bronze as new addition to our Team. She'll be part of our analytics staff and she already showed her value since she pointed out some good moves for us to get past Spains defence”
“And Ona” you threw in chewing on your Steak you got for lunch
“And Ona Batlle yes” Sarina rolled her eyes but everyone saw it was just for show “Don't interrupt me and don't speak with your mouth full... I know you got raised better than this”
“Yes ma'am” you said your voice muffled by the potato you decided to push into your mouth before answering smiling at your adoptive Mom widely
“Walsh.... get your kid under control” the Dutch said and everyone laughed at Keiras offended face
“Excuse me.... the last time I checked she listened to the name Bronze” Keira exclaimed picking up the banter with her head coach
“While that is true I can't really say “Lucy get your kid under control”...” Sarina answered pointing at Lucy who was about to shovel some pasta into her mouth – just like you did with your potato
“It wouldn't be much use” the dutch said flatly and everyone started to laugh as both Bronzes looked up sporting the same caught look with both of your forks mid air
“I get your point” Keira huffed her face deadpan “You two really can't help yourselves can't you”
“What?” both you and Lucy asked confused
“Nothing... you keep on shovelling” Keira said rolling her eyes once more
You and Lucy looked at each other before shrugging your shoulders and continuing eating
“As I said... we have some new tactics which might look strange on paper and will be confusing at first but I like how y/n gets a read on things and thinks outside of the box” the dutch said seriously “You all noticed how I included her more this Camp because I think she's now at a point very we can profit from her exceptional eye and solutions – yes the upcoming games are just friendlies but that won't stop us from playing our best”
“Sorry to interrupt again but.... the food gets cold” you said raising your hand while already talking
“If you wouldn't interrupt me all the time I would be done already” Sarina threw you a warning glance
“Sorry” you mumbled “But... can you maybe... talk faster Mama Rina”
“If you have questions my door is always open” the dutch said her patience running low “You can also ask the new member of staff but I doubt you get a satisfying answer out of her”
Everyone laughed again as you hummed agreeing pushing your vegetables on your girlfriends appetizer plate much to Keiras dismay
“What is THAT??” your girlfriend looked up from her plate pulling a face while you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing
“Shouldn't you know babe? You ARE half-Jamaican after all” you smirked as the table bursted out laughing
“So funny” Georgia said flatly “How did you pull that off?”
“Just asked the Chef very nicely to make something from home since you miss the Reggae feeling so much” you smirked very happy with yourself
“I will get you back for that” your girlfriend growled “but back to me initial question... WHAT is THAT??”
“How should I know... that's your traditional food” you shrugged your shoulders grinning
“I regret the day you found that video” Georgia grumbled as she stabbed her fork into the brownish-yellowish dish
“You love me too much to actually be mad” you smirked watching how your girlfriend struggles to actually bring the fork to her mouth “And be grateful – they made me feed Toons dog food”
“Dog food??” Georgia asked shocked
“It was chicken paste” Toons rolled her eyes
“I'm 100% positive it was dog food” you countered “they just told you it was chicken so you wouldn't throw up and sue them.... now come on babe... taste it and tell me if it tastes like home” you grinned
“I really REALLY want to kick you right now” your girlfriend grumbles but finally got over herself quickly stuffing the food loaded fork into her mouth
“It's.... actually not bad... It's really good actually” G shrugged her shoulders “It's a curry... I like curries”
“See.... I did something nice for you there....” you grinned
“But what curry.. definitely not chicken” your girlfriend mumbled as she poked the meat on the plate
“Wait... Jesse...” you yelled over to the buffet where some chefs were standing handing out food
“Yes?” one of the shorter ones looked over to you
“What meat is that??” you shouted back lifting your girlfriends plate up
“Goat” came the answer immediately and you could see how Georgias eyes grow wide in shock and you swear you saw her heave for a second there
“Thanks” you said and he lifted his hand in reply
“Was... was he serious?” your girlfriend asked as the colour slowly left her face
“Naah... it's beef” you said having mercy on her
“You are so SO cruel” Georgia mumbled as she picked up another fork shovelling it into her mouth
“It's not beef is it?” Millie leaning over to you whispering in your ear
You just shook your head smirking and chuckle under your breath while Millie laughed.
“What's so funny?” your girlfriend asked suspicious
“Millie asked if I think Carmona finally declares her love for Lucy by asking her out on a date” you lied quickly while Millie looked at you confused but nodded when you kicked her ankle under the table
“Yep,... I mean... it's obvious” the blonde kept nodding
“Oh Ew... guys I'm eating” your girlfriend said her voice laced with disgust
“Yeah well... I would have to live with her...” you shuddered “... Lucy!!!” you turned around in your seat facing your sister
“What??!” your sister looked up alarmed
“You are NOT allowed to reciprocate Carmonas feelings!!!!” you looked at her seriously
“What?!” Lucy looked confused
“I want to keep Ona” you whined
“What the hell are you talking about??” your sister was so lost
You just shook your head in disbelieve turning back around. Your sister looked at you like you completely lost your plot turning to Keira
“What is she talking about?” Lucy asked
“Don't ask me... you speak Bronze better than me...” the blonde shrugged continuing to eat her salad
“What does she want now with Carmona?” your sister looked at Keira lost
“How should I know? I've been here as long as you...” Keira now said a little annoyed “... just chalk it up to her being her and eat”
“Hey what are you talking about?” Lucy said as she pulled your chair around so that you were facing her
Unlucky to her you were just digging into your pasta (your second dish for the day) and with the sudden movement the pasta didn't only spill over Millie but also Lucys face – and the back of Keiras neck who stopped her fork mid-air and by the way her shoulders moved you know there was a storm coming your way. Lucy herself just stood there blankly spaghetti with pesto sauce and antipasti running down her face.
“Ehrm... Lucy you have a little...” you said lowly gesturing towards her face desperately trying to hold in your laughter as a piece of eggplant sliding down your sisters cheek
The whole room was quiet so you could hear a piece of dust dropping like it'd would be a jackhammer. Everyone looked at you, Lucy, Millie and Keira shock on their faces. No one dared to move while you could see Rachel, Ella, Less and Niamh trying to hold in their laughter. Rach shook with silent laughter pulling out her phone recording a small clip for her Instagram of the sliding eggplant – fans would see it later with the caption “perfect SLIDE tackle by Egg Plant Tough Bronze”. Needless to say the fans had a field day with this clip and half the soccer world commented on it. Best comment came from María León herself tagging Ingrid complaining why Lucy was allowed to play with food when she herself wasn't even allowed to build a rice volcano. Ingrid chose to ignore that comment instead asking Lucy if this was her secret to be such an outstanding player.
“Bitsy” you heard Keira growl dangerously low
“It wasn't my fault... Lucy pulled me over” you quickly said as you jumped out of your chair walking backwards away from the blonde who still hadn't moved one inch
“Stay” the blonde said strictly still not moving
You thought quickly about bolting but as usual Keira knew you better
“You can't outrun me... don't even try” she said as she finally put down her fork
“I mean... I can try” you said desperately
“No... you can't... the only way you'd make it out of here is if you'd jump through a window – because I will be faster at the door than you” Keira said as she SLOWLY turned around
“It wasn't me” you said taking another step back hitting something with the back of your knees and suddenly found you in the lap of the one and only Lauren James.
You looked at her she looked at you both of you getting big wide eyes before you jumped up again knocking against Beth chair who lost balance and fell backwards. Only person stopping her hitting the ground was Lotte who reacted quickly grabbing Beth shirt who ripped a bit but held enough so Beth wouldn't end up with a concussion.
“Bitsy.... just stay still for god sakes” Keira said in a warning tone “You'll knock out the whole squad before we even get the chance to play the world cup”
“Sorry” you apologized quickly getting rooted in place “but at least I don't knock you all up”
That did it for Rach, Tooney and Less who bursted out laughing while your girlfriend squeaked quietly blushing again.
“Why do I have pasta on the back of my neck?” Keira asked looking at you expectantly
“Lucy pulled me around as I had me fork full of spaghetti” you explained quickly your Manchester accent coming through – like ever so often when you get nervous.
“Millie?” the blonde gave her teammate a side eye
“Truth... wasn't her fault this time” Brickwall Bright confirmed and now Keira turned towards Lucy narrowing her eyes
“Lucia... with me” the blonde said lowly and your sister shook her head scared “NOW”
“You tell Ona I loved her right?” Lucy looked at you pleadingly knowing she most like won't survive Keiras wrath
“I'll make sure she's taken care of” you nodded “I'll visit her as often as I can”
“Good...” your sister started before there was an angry “LUCY!!” from outside the room
All of you heard the door fell shut and muffled argument from outside it. You actually winced a few times feeling sorry for Lucy – she didn't mean for this to happen either. But Keira had straight rules for eating times. No whining. No argument over food. Only plating as much as you can eat. And NO throwing food – never ever. So her ending up with some courgette in the back of her neck was bad. Bad for Lucy. And in hindsight bad for you because now you have to find something new to eat now. You looked around the room – who at this point got back to light chatter and eating. You spotted Leahs plate who was still fairly full and decided after checking the ingredients that it was worth stealing. So you slandered over patting her right shoulder. The second she turned around looking you quickly snatched the plate with your left hand hiding it behind your back
“Yes y/n?” the blonde capitan looked at you expectantly
“You think Keira will kill Lucy?” you asked as a disguise pouting slightly
“No... you know them... Keira will yell at her – Lucy will look very apologetic and say she's sorry a hundred times and it will be okay again” Leah said softly still not catching up that you stole her plate
“You sure” you asked again just for good measure
“Yes Poppy... I'm sure” Leah smiled soothingly
“Okay... thanks Lee” you said smiling a little turning around walking away quickly
“Poppy!!” you heard Leah call out angry when she realized what you've done
“Love you Capitana” you yell back sitting down at your table between Millie and Toons starting to shovel down Leahs food
“I would've shared with you too, you know babe” your girlfriend said as she watched you not even chewing the food just swallowing it down.
“I know babe... but I didn't want to steal from you” you said with your mouth full which earned you a hard slap on the back from Keira
“Where do you come from?” you asked shocked half the food falling back on the plate as she slapped your head
“From ripping your sister a new one... don't talk with your mouth full or you'll be the next in line” the blonde looked at you angry
“Sorry mom” you apologized after you swallowed the remaining food
“And don't shovel it down your throat like you're starving” Keira scolded you
“But I am...” you started to get shut down by a glare from the blonde which made you shrink in your chair
“Damn... Walsh has it out for the Bronzes” Tooney mumbled under her breath but not quiet enough for Keira not to hear
“I can expand my list, Toone” Keira barked out
“Kei...” you looked at her scared
You saw Keira take a deep breath before looking at you
“Sorry Bitsy” the blonde features soften “Your sister just pushed a button”
“Can we talk please” you said lowly your eyes never leaving hers
“Come” was the only thing Keira said already walking away
Outside the door she waited for you as you closed the door quietly behind you
“What's wrong Kei? I mean you're kinda mean when you're on your period but that was... two weeks ago” you said keeping your distance from her
“I honestly don't know Bitsy... and getting smacked by antipasti in the back of my neck certainly didn't help” the blonde huffing
“You miss your girl?” you ask fishing for pointers on Keiras bad mood
“Too, yes... but all around it tires me out... I don't know why” Keira sighed deeply “and Spain in three days?? Even more tiring”
“You need a break huh?” you asked understanding “is a lot lately”
“Yeah... but I won't get a break until end of season” the blonde started to massage her temples
“I could kick your ankle” you offered
“No thanks Bitsy” Keira laughed “But thank you for the kind offer”
“No problem” you smiled “But seriously – I can take you out of the starting XI... give you a little break at least”
“In all seriousness... that would be very appreciated” the blonde sighed out happily “Wait... how do you know who is starting XI?”
“Who do you think put the XI together? Mama Rina left it all up to me – it's just a friendly and I have few ideas I want to try out” you shrugged your shoulder
“You are exceptional Bitsy....” Keira smiled at you and pushed some lose hair out of your face “... never lose your light”
“Jesus Kei... I'm not dying” you rolled your eyes
“No... but you're young and the position you just took on brings a lot of pressure with it...” the blonde said and you heard her serious tone “... don't lose your light”
“I'll do my best” you offered a smile “I don't even know how long I'm gonna stay... at the moment it's still fun... so yeah – let's see”
“Good” Keira nodded happily “You want to go back?”
“Not really no... Lunch was a mess... and left me hungry” you pouted
“I tell Sarina.... you want me to send G after you?” the blonde winked
“You would do that? What about Luce?” you looked at her with big pleading eyes
“Just play along...” Keira smirked and before you could respond what she meant the blonde started yelling at you “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO COMMENT ON A TOPIC THAT IS ABSOLUTLEY NOT YOUR BUISNESS”
“I JUST ASKED” you yelled back not knowing what Keiras plan is
“GET OUT!” the blonde yelled but smiled at you “That should be enough to get your sister of your case – she knows better than to question me... now go and send G your location...”
You pressed a sweet kiss to Keiras cheek before running off. Keira watched you rounding the first corner before she took a deep breath put on her game face and shoved the door to the dining room open aggressively. She was met with the sight of scared face from her teammates and smirked internally.
“What?” Keira barked and all newbies quickly ducked their heads not wanting to upset the veteran any further
“Jesus Kei” Georgia looked at her best friend confused “Leave the kiddos alone”
“Sorry... YOUR girlfriend just pissed me off” the blonde growled but winked at G subtly
“I go talk to her” your girlfriend huffed out already pushing herself out of her chair immediately catching on what Keira tried to tell her
“Wait... I'll come too” Lucy quickly said trying to stand up as Keira pushed her back down
“You sit” the blonde said lowly
“Yes ma'am” Lucy mumbled sitting down again
“Okay Ladies” Sarina said loudly getting everyones attention “Time to talk game tactic”
You were sitting between Georgia (who subtly intertwined your pinkies) and Tooney who yapped about some dog she saw at the park earlier.
“I worked closely with our new addition..” the dutch started before you interrupted her – again
“My parents gave me a name you know... and it's not “new addition”...” you huffed annoyed until you saw Sarina smirk
“Not?” the dutch smirked knowing from Keira of your little game so you could get away at Lunch – without informing the head coach
“I mean I got called a lot of names over the years... but “new addition” wasn't one of them” you smirked back engaging in the banter with your “boss”
“I spoke with y/n” Sarina rolled her eyes for good measure “... we – agreed...”
“Agreed? I told you what would help us win and you said “do it”....” you interrupted again knowing no one else would get away with it
“We AGREED to try a few new things when we play against Spain” the dutch ignored you expectantly “We will start with a.... wait why am I talking about this... Liefje why don't you come up here and take over?”
“What?!” you looked at her shocked shaking your head lightly
“Come on” Sarina waved you to the stage smiling “It's your tactic – you worked hard on it so you get to explain it”
You let out a big breath as Georgia squeezed your hand offering silent support before you pushed yourself up and walking up the stage standing next to your Mama
“Okay Ladies and Lucy” you said loudly waiting for your sisters signature “Hey!!!” before you continued smiling “I spent a LOT of time analysing games... plays... players... last Euros was good.. all of you played amazing BUT as Sarina said before – it was close... if you strip it down to just the play Spain WAS the better team... you got lucky with Alex goal in overtime.... REALLY lucky... Toons that leader was world class but Spain bounced back because ALL of you felt too secure for a second... I know this is just a friendly but we'll play it like it's the final again – we're back on home soil, we play Spain again but we'll... throw them off a little... so I still have some painkillers left from me wrist injury – we split them up and then I'll let you run lose... that will throw at least the Barca department off...” you grinned as Lucy groaned
“It was a mistake okay... I AM sorry” your sister said while Keira chuckled beside her
“You have to do more than say you're sorry Bronze...” you smirked “... I want that world cup”
“I'll do my best okay” Lucy smiled at your display of competitiveness
“Okay... so back to the game... we're playing at Old Trafford this time... who's idea that was? Mine – I just love that place and it hold a lot of history... So tomorrow we're moving up to Manchester whoever has problems with it... suck it up or leave” you simply said and Sarina snorted next to you “For tactics... we're going back to the roots of football... like... waaay back – we're gonna play a “Scottish furrow”... anyone any idea what that is... the dinosaur in the room maybe...??” you look straight at your sister smirking cheeky
“Oh get lost...” Lucy threw at you smiling back at you feeling happy about how much you obviously enjoy your new role
“Anyone... Scottish furrow??” you asked into the room looking from player to player
The younger ones shook their head embarrassed as the veterans wrecked their brain have heard of it before but couldn't place it. You looked at Sarina for help.
“It's a 2-3-5 formation... it's dubbed a little outdated but as y/n said – it's back to the roots” Sarina explained before nodding towards you telling you to take over again
“Spain is overall Goliath... they have a VERY strong defence, a quick working midfield and ruthless forwards... we're David in this scenario so we have to play more tactical – we'll have fast forwards a intelligent midfield AND a Brickwall of defence so our Keeper hopefully will have a relaxed game... Mary pack a book because if your Team does its job like I tell them to do it you won't have a single shot on target” you said seriously but joked as well – you started to really enjoy the situation of talking about tactics
“A 2-3-5?” Leah asked confused “How will that work with our playing style?”
“Easy... we let them run into the brickwall – not Millie but the whole defence – take the ball off them and use the momentum in our favour and just.... run” you answer looking at Leah serious “Spain will think they dictate the game... the pace... the tactic... the ball... but you guys will let them run into the wall every time... Spain is thankfully a opponent that gets frustrated easily... the second they start getting frustrated and sloppy is the second we switch back to a 3-3-4 and kill em... if my calculations are correct and the bring the line up I expect them to bring we should get out of this friendly at least 5 – 0”
“5 – nothing??” Lucy exclaimed shocked
“Yes... and we don't even have to bring the A+ team... we need A+ defence... midfield and forwards can be newbies... so whoever wants their first cap against Spain... come find me after the meeting... I set up a preliminary line up but I already have a change in midfield since Keira is out for the game” you said honestly your eyes not leaving your sisters
“Kei... you okay?” Leah immediately turned around to her best friend concerned
“Just tired Lee...” the blonde smiled back weakly “Talked to Sarina Jr. over there and she offered to take me out of the line up which I seriously appreciate”
You swell with pride when Keira referred to you as “Sarina Jr” knowing how much respect the team has for the dutch head coach.
“You need to remember Leah... she's one of the old ones now...” you smirked as Keira threw you a playful glare
“We don't comment on players ages” Sarina told you off flicking your ear lightly “We call it experience”
“Sorry... my bad... she's experienced Leah.... she want's to give the chance to the younger players to get.... experience too” you smirked
“I can make her run laps in your name K” Leah offered helpfully
“I can make her run laps in my own name too Lee” Keira laughed and you swallowed hard knowing just how well Keira could make you run laps
“My knee...” you said carefully
“Don't even try Bitsy... your sister is the one with the bad knee” the blonde smirked
“Hello.... three ACL's” you exclaimed outraged which caused everyone in the room to burst out laughing
“Oh don't even start... your knees where fine when you ran away from Alexia a few days ago” Keira rolled her eyes still smiling
“She didn't leave me a choice” you defended yourself
“She left you the choice of not running off” Lucy threw in
“Yeah like you would've stayed when Alexia Putellas threatens you” you snorted
“Even Mapí doesn't dare to run away from Capi” your sister said “So why did YOU think you could outrun her? You don't even know your way around Nuo”
“Well... I didn't really think... I acted on instinct” you said like it was obvious
“Well your instinct ended your ass in the gym with La Reina” Lucy smirked and turned to Leah “When Ale delivered her back all she did is sleep... for TWELVE hours”
“I need that workout... can you ask her? The possibility of shutting your sister up for twelve hours straight is just a dream come true” Leah laughed at your offended face
“Oh look... Leah doesn't want to play against Spain” you grinned looking at Sarina who just shook her head smiling
“You wouldn't dare to bench me Poppy...” the blonde capitan smirked back happy that the team got back to it's bantering self
“Oh but I would.. because according to my contract I'm allowed to make decisions about the team, the tactics AND the players – all in agreement with the head coach herself of course” you smirked and pulled out your contract “So yes... I can bench you... because I think I saw you having some discomfort in your knee sitting down... right?”
“You little shit” Leah laughed knowing you weren't serious
“Learned from the best” you smirked looking at your sister who smiled proudly “Back to business... 2-3-5... Chloe and Meado up top... I like the way you two work … Hillary... congratulations to your first Cap... you'll get flanked by Franny and J-Park... defenders... Millie and Leah MidDef – Luce on the right, Alex on the left... Lotte you're my false 6... “ you said looking at every single player waiting for their okay before moving on to the next one
“A false 6?” Keira asked confused
“Yeah... I want Lotte to be the connection between midfield and defence” you explained “throw the spaniards a little off... you'll run a lot Lotte is that okay?”
“Sure... I'm fit” the defender smiled
“Okay... if you get tired ask for a sub... J-Cart can come in for Alex and Alex moves up... that is if we're not back to the 3-3-4 at this point anyway – it's still just a friendly... no need to kill yourselves out there” you said and Sarina smiled proudly.
You did an exceptional job. You really took your job very seriously and still you made sure to explain your decision to make it understandable why you were starting players over others and you still had the lightness of a teenager
“Depending on if Spain takes out bait we make two subs at half … Stanway for Clinton – believe me Hillary... 45 Minutes is more than overwhelming for a first cap and Toons for Franny” you kept going with your game tactic feeling comfortable and honestly free talking about something which gave you the feeling of being part of the team
“Sounds good...” Sarina smiled approvingly “... what are your other subs?”
“Around 70th/75th minute... James for Chloe... Less for Meado... I would leave one slot open IF something happens...” you turned towards the head coach
“So you leave the defence like it is... who's in Goal?” the dutch tested your plan
“I actually just changed my mind... Mary... you have the day off... Hampton... if you're up to it?” you looked at the young Goalkeeper
“Yes... yes I'm up for it” the young woman smiles and nods her head frantically
“See... that's the enthusiasm I want” you grinned “None of you asshats were as happy as she is right now”
“Because she doesn't know you as well as we do” Lucy threw in
“Esme... you start against Spain... congratulations... Luce... I think a saw an old camping chair standing around at home... you have enough time to go home and get that chair since you won't put a foot on the pitch” you smiled sweetly and this time Keira bursted out laughing at your sisters face
“You can't...” Lucy exclaimed but you interrupted her
“Oh but I can..” you sing-songed waving your contract
“Sarina” your sister whined
“I gave her the lead for this... her call” the dutch shrugged smiling widely
“Oh come ooooon” Lucy whined again which caused the older players in the room to chuckle
“What... thinking about it I do you a favor... now you can drool over your girlfriend the whole 90 Minutes...” you smirk
“Sometimes I really wish we wouldn't have turned around when Dad forgot you in Tesco” your sister mumbled
You stepped through the tunnel onto the pitch at Old Trafford. You loved that Stadium – even if it's the home of United and you yourself grew up as a City-girl. This place held so many amazing Stories and Memories. You turned once around yourself looking at the still empty seats that in a few hours will contain nearly 75.000 fans – it was just a friendly but the tickets were gone in just under two hours. One of your dreams back then when you were still playing was to play a derby against United right here – Old Trafford. 74.310 seats and all of them will be manned/womend tonight. You remembered the last Derby you attended with Lucy. You had a small smile playing on your lips remembering the crowd, the cheers and chants, the game itself – it was like it happened yesterday.
“Hey” you heard softly behind you and it made you jump for a second
You whipped around and came face to face with your sister
“You okay?” Lucy asked softly
“Yeah... just got a little emotional here... remembered the last time we were here you know... before you left for Spain” you answered quietly
“Was a physical match... Tobin and Christen for United...” Lucy smiled and looked ahead towards the seats
“... Chloe got a stupid yellow... that wasn't a yellow... oh.. and G played left forward... wasn't it the first Derby for the Tower of Power too?” you chuckled
“Sammy Mewis? Yeah... I remember her coming out of the tunnel and nearly fell into it backwards because she didn't expect the fans to scream like they did... she tried to hide behind Rose for a hot minute there” your sister laughed lightly
“I love Rose but damn... she was shiny with the spotlights... told Gareth to put her in – she would have blinded Mearpsi with her reflective skin and bam... goal... but no” you rolled your eyes but smiled
“You always have these backhanded compliments... where do you get them from?” your sister laughed
“Lots and lots of training” you grinned “When are the spaniards arriving?”
“Already in Manchester... for a few hours now... you want to go and say hi to them?” Lucy smiled softly taking your hand
“You think Alexia would appreciate us crashing their Lunch?” you smirked
“Absolutely not... we're gonna wait in the Lobby until they're done and then quickly say hi” your sister laughed
“Yeah... why not? Where they're staying??” you shrugged your shoulders knowing Lucy tried to get you out of your sentimental state
“Hilton Garden Inn” Lucy said after checking her phone
“Ona?” you smirked
“Sí” your sister smiled back
“Wait... isn't that at the old cricket grounds?” you wrecked your brain
“Yes... it's nice apparently” Lucy shrugged not letting go of your hand
“Are we allowed to leave?” you suddenly asked looking around
“Sarina was the one calling me after seeing you out here... she said as long as were on time for the game we're good to go” your sister smiled softly
“Off to the spaniards then” you started running off pulling Lucy after your
“Remember Bubs... we don't cause troub... BUBS!!” Lucy yelled after you as you sprinted off towards the dining area
“I fucking knew it” your sister grumbled as she speed walked after you hearing you already flinging the heavy doors open
“Buenos Aires Motherfuckers!!!” you screamed as you pushed threw the big heavy double-door “I'm back!!”
There were different reactions to your entrance. Some of the spanish players screamed in horror, some nearly chocked on their food and some jumped up and took cover behind the tables
“A la mierda y/n!!!” Alexia exclaimed after she looked shocked over the edge of the table she cowered behind
“I said Buenos Aires... I made meself known” you smirked at the sight of the spanish national team in distress
“You storm inside her, interrupt our Lunch and scare us to DEATH for what exactly? And it's too late for Bon dia Cariño” Alexia now stood up glaring at you
“Lucy said we can go say hi so we did... and I didn't mean bon dias... I meant the other one... the Buenos Aires... your Olga said it” you shrugged your shoulders grinning
“Ay dios mio... my headache is suddenly back...” the blonde spaniard mumbled but in secret she was glad to see you “And it's Buenos tardes.... not Buenos Aires”
“Then that... Buenos tartlets motherfuckers” you said again grinning widely
“Nena!!!!” you suddenly hear from your left and found yourself laying on the ground a second later with someone on top of you
“María!!” you heard a voice from above you and the weight got pulled off you
“What just happened?” you asked confused as Ona helped you up
“Mapí wreckingballed you... she does that sometimes when she gets excited” your sisters girlfriend dusted you off a little bit before offering you a smile “You good?”
“Sí” you mumbled still a little bit confused
“Look at you speaking spanish” the short defender smiled warmly opening her arms inviting you in for a hug
“Putellas was adamant about it” you mumbled against Ona after you accepted her hug
“Okay Mapí...” you heard Alexia behind you “I told you what would happen if you misbehave again...”
“What she doing” you sack against Ona relaxing for a second
“Oh Mapí was a little over the top the whole camp... and since not even extra laps got her to calm down Alexia approaches the problem differently now” Ona answered smiling at how much you were leaning against her “What's up with you Bebita? You look exhausted”
“You guys are exhausting” you mumbled suddenly feeling extremly tired
“Us? We didn't do anything” the short blonde chuckled
“She means your games” you reconized your sisters voice behind you
“Disculpe?” Ona chuckled
“Again with the dislocation...” you mumbled as you get transferred into Lucys arms
“I'm NOT going to wear... Alexia... por favor” you heard Mapí beg “por favor la reina”
“Jenni... ayudame por favor” Alexia said holding Mapí police hold
“León... quédate quieto y acepta tu destino” you heard Jenni growl and immediately sink more into Lucy
“She's not angry with you... what's up with you anyway?” Lucy soothed you after she realize you shrink away from Jennis voice
“Tired” you mumbled
“She can sleep for a bit in my room” Ona offered
“Bubs... you wanna sleep with Ona?” your sister asked half quietly as suddenly four heads snapped in her directions and you were wide awake again
“Scuse me?” you chocked out
“NOT like that you...” your sister huffed out annoyed
“I mean I know you're not shy when it comes to our sex...” Ona started before you interrupted her
“LALALALALALALA!!!” you yelled loudly wrenching your fingers into your ears to blend out the rest of Onas sentence and screw your eyes shut walking away from your sister – and straight into Jenni Hermoso.
You stumbled back a little bit as you opened one eye seeing the tall dark haired spaniard smirking at you raising her eyebrow
“You were more smooth when you were high” Jenni smirked
“HUH??” you asked loudly your fingers still in your ear
Jenni rolled her eyes smiling grabbing your right hand pulling it away from your finger
“High you is smoother” she grinned
“Sober me has better taste” you shot back
“Sober you doesn't like me no?” Jenni teased you
“I can't answer that....” you swallowed hard
“So sober you DOES like me” the black haired said smirking
“Jenni stop teasing the Cariño” Alexia interrupted swatting her friends shoulder “She has a girlfriend”
“Interesting” Jenni smirked wriggling her eyebrows at you
“Indeed...” you coughed out before you laid eyes on Mapí and bursted out laughing “WHAT are you wearing??”
There she was – Mapí León in all her spanish glory... strapped in a Dino-Harness.
“This is all your fault” Mapí huffed
“Moi??” you asked confused
“Yes... YOU have one and that's why I have one now” María looked at you with betrayal in her eyes
“Then it's Lucys fault” you pointed at your sister “she's the one getting Bronzo in the first place!”
“Because you kept running off!!” Lucy defended herself “You still do”
“Why are you here?” Alexia asked your sister “You know it's not really common to visit the opponent before the game”
“She got a little emotional and I thought bringing her here would help – and it did... you guys don't even realize how much you help her” your sister said her voice low so you won't catch on while you were busy wrestling with Mapí around on the floor getting cheered on by Pina
“Ale... Puedes por favor controlarlos?” Aitana asked after you repeatedly kicked her chair trying to find leverage over Mapí both of you laughing
“Jenni... por favor” the blonde spaniard looked at her teammate who just sighed and walked towards you and Maps
“How was she the last two weeks?” Ona asked as she watched Jenni trying to split you two apart
“Rollercoaster.... she had a lot of fun with Less and Toons... and then she fell again and Keira had to drag her out of bed – it helped a lot that Sarina got her to agree to work for the Lionesses” your sister said keeping her voice low so just Ona and Alexia could hear her “And I may have played a part in her moody days” she confessed embarrassed
“What did you do?” Ona asked raising her eyebrow at Lucy
“I may – or may not – have threatened her girlfriend...” your sister scratched the back of her neck
“You WHAT??” Ona whisper yelled “I swear to god Lucia”
“We sorted it out... I just – I need to make sure she's protected okay” Lucy said “She's my baby sister”
“I get it... you know... Alba... the first partner she brought home – I made them run for the hills... threatened the shit out of them.. and had Jenni just stare at them from the other side of the room – for the whole night” Alexia chuckled
“But Albas first partner wasn't your exes best friend and technically your good mate too” Lucy mumbled
“No.. but I get why you're so... y/b Bronze... Ay dios – put that down!!!” Alexia started before she saw you holding a potato like you were a pitcher sizing up the distance between yourself and Olga Carmona.
Jenni was quick to react after she sat Mapí next to Irene who just fixed the younger spaniard with one glare
“No little one... we don't throw potatoes” the black haired spaniard said as she towered over you
“It's a boiled one?” you asked innocently
“No...” Jenni said smiling sweetly “... no throwing potatoes... boiled or not”
“You suck” you huffed annoyed
“And you wish” the dark haired one shot back smirking and you swallowed hard again – the second time in just under an hour
“Bubs... come on... we have to go” you heard Lucy from the other side of the room
You looked up from where you were hunched over the table with Mapí building some Lego figures
“Just five more minutes” you whined “We're nearly done”
“No Bubs.. now... we have to get ready – they have to get ready... come on... I told you we'll leave after an hour” your sister said firmly
“But” you started to whine again what caused some of they players to chuckle
“No... “ Lucy interrupted you “Get your Bag and come on”
“I...” you started confused “... don't have a bag with me?”
“Oh... right... sorry... I just had a flashback from all the times I had to pick you up from kindergarten” your sister said a little embarrassed
“I bet you were a cute pequeño” Alexia laughed pinching your cheeks
“She was a menace from Day 1... her birth was chaos... from the moment she entered this world it was chaos... no wait... she was chaos before that...” Lucy said as she watched you trying to fight Alexias hands off
“Am not” you grunted as the blonde spaniard continued to pinch your cheeks
“You were, are and always will be... which doesn't matter now because we need to leave” your sister answered
“Then tell her to stoooop” you whined
“Capi.... we need to leave” your sister grinned
“See you after the game Cariño” Alexia smirked and pressed a kiss to your forehead
“Can Mapí come too?” you looked at Alexia and Lucy hopefully
“Not now... you will see her later at the game and AFTER the game you can run around with her a little bit okay” Lucy tried to coax you away from Maps who clutched onto your hand
“Why not now?” you whined again
“Because Mapí needs to get ready for her game too... and we need to get ready at our hotel” your sister knew she had to stay calm otherwise you would just throw a big ass tantrum
“This sucks” you huffed but stood up
“Thank you Bubs... I promise you can play Lego later with Mapí” Lucy smiled as she put her arm over your shoulder leading you away from the spanish team
74.310. 74.310 fans – sold out Old Trafford. You were standing next to Sarina in the locker room and heard every single one of them. You knew Sarina gave you the freedom to do whatever you thought was right at this game and you knew the Team waited for the pre-game talk but all you could do was relishing that moment. Your eyes were closed, a small smile on your lips and you listened to the chants from above you. You took a deep breath before straightening up again.
“okay... I know this is just a friendly but I want all of you to treat it like it's the world cup final. Out there are 74.310 fans who are here for YOU... you had a good camp and we have a good play and we have the best team. Let all of them fans see that – let them enjoy that evening and make it an unforgettable experience for them. Let's paella the shit out of them tapas shovelling shrimp eater” you said loudly smirking at the end of your little speech
You send your team outside high-fiving every single one (except for Mearps because her high-fives hurt) before you took your place next to Sarina at the end of the Starting XI. You saw Alexia who was wearing the captains armband and winked at her when she turned around. She rolled her eyes for good measure before turning back and you saw the shift in her posture – she was in game mode. Who you couldn't spot in the line up was Mapí. You were confused for a second since you were 79% sure she would start as well. Sarina nudged your shoulder a lightly and brought your focus back to your own team.
“Sorry” you mumbled and hung your head
“It's okay Liefje... I know it can get overwhelming but I need your focus here right now – if it gets too bad let Keira or Lucy know okay... or Georgia” the blonde said softly as the line up started to move
“Nothing to be sorry about, Liefje... you are doing amazing – you are 16 and still a Ki...” Sarina said softly as you suddenly found yourself getting pushed forward onto the ground
“Hola mi nena” you heard from above you and all you could do was grunt
“Hi Maps... why??” you whined
“I just misseded you so much” the blonde spaniard said from above you
“Excuse me, León... could you please get off my analyst?” Sarina said a little confused
“Wait... I'll get it sorted...” you grunted from underneath Mapí “Lucy!! HELP!!”
Seconds later Lucy came sprinting back from the pitch tackling the spaniard off you both of them rolling in one big ball of limbs over the ground
“I told you not to do that León...” your sister growled after she pinned Mapí to the ground “Who's on the bench today?”
“Leila... Aitana... Athenea... Alba...” Mapí listed off
“So... the A-Team” you laughed which caused Sarina to smirk while Mapí didn't get it and just looked at you confused
“Because all of them start with an A” you tried to explain your “joke”
“That was a shit joke you muppet” Lucy rolled her eyes and pushed herself off Mapí
“At least I make jokes...” you snapped back as Sarina helped you back to your feet
“I get Aita to watch you León..” your sister pointed at the small spaniard who looked like a kicked puppy
“Por favor no... they'll put that stupid thing around me again” the blonde whined
“You have a T-Rex!!!! I have a bronto!!! Yours is so much cooler” you exclaimed
“Which reminds me... come here Bubs...” Lucy grinned
“You can't be serious!!!” you took a small step back
“Come here Bubs” your sister cooed “Bronzo time”
“Old Trafford is SOLD OUT!! And you want to strap me down??!!” you tried to hide behind Sarina “74.310 tickets SOLD!!!”
“Look... I don't need you running on the field trying to have a go at the ref – I also don't want to hold your hand the whole time because you probably would just pull you with me” Lucy said still smirking “So yes – I am gonna tie you to the bench and know you won't cause trouble... Keira is with me on that one”
“You all suck” you grumbled but let Lucy pull the straps expectantly over your arms locking them on the back
“I honestly didn't think you would give up that easily” your sister smiled once she attached the leash
“I want that Mapí has to wear hers too” you stayed rooted in your place crossing your arms over your chest
“I'll sort it out okay... but now you hop off to Kei...” Lucy ruffled through your hair handing the leash off to Sarina
“Come on Liefje” the dutch said lovingly tugging slightly on the offending string
On your way out Irene Paredes passed you with long powerful strides and you saw a harness clutched in her hand which made you grin. A minute later you heard Mapí exclaiming loudly in spanish and you even heard a few spanish swear words. It made you chuckle and got you into a better mood knowing you wasn't the only one the fans will make fun off.
“Hey Bitsy” Keira greeted you softly as you plumped down next to her
“I hate Lucy... I'm gonna put her in as a forward... or in goal” you mumbled
Keira bursted out laughing pulling you into her side pressing a kiss to your forehead – unknowns to you a lot of camera lenses were pointed towards you and that exactly that picture will go viral.
“Lucy in goal? I would pay to see that” Keira smiled knowing exactly why you were so grumpy.
“How much would you pay?” you suddenly perked up
“I would make sure you'll have some quality time with a certain blonde?” Keira smirked amused
“Deal” you quickly said pulling Keiras hand out of her pocket grabbing it quickly shaking it
“It's okay Bitsy... I would have done it anyway – you reacted so grown up with everything thrown at you this camp you deserve a little treat...” the blonde said softly
“I did, didn't I?” you smiled looking onto the pitch where Alexia and Leah stepped up to shake hands
“If I look over your pranks on LJ, Georgia, Leah, Beth and I'm pretty sure Alex wasn't a ginger this morning” Keira smirked
“They weren't pranks... that's love language...” you said embarrassed
“You call it love hiding LJ's clothes while she's in the shower so she has to wait in St. Georges Park until someone got some spare from the Hotel? Put itching power in her bed? Stealing all her left socks? Ordering pizza for the whole staff on her credit card? Not even to start with the laxative in her breakfast on the third day” the blonde raised her eyebrow at you
“Don't know what you're talking about, Kei...” you look at her innocently
“Course you don't Bitsy...” the blonde laughed “... but you should pay attention now – games is about to start”
You looked back over to the pitch seeing Spain won the coin toss and decided to play from left to right – which mean England had the kick off. You're eyes found the way to the spanish bench seeing Mapí being tied up to a post next to Irene as Lucy made her way over grinning widely as she took a seat behind you. Sarina sat on the outside of the row not seeing the point in interrupting right now since nothing had happened so far.
“You good Bubs?” Lucy asked from behind you
“Never been better” you grinned and Keira saw the glint in your eye
The game kicked off and you saw how Spain got thrown off a little bit already by your chosen formation and you smirked to yourself. Your plan worked perfectly – even if Hermoso and Paralluelo made it through the midfield they always ran into your defence brickwall. At one point Hannah even turned around to wave at fans and stood next to the goal for pictures. She was teasing the spanish players. Olga Carmona was lost since she couldn't mark Lucy – who sat behind you on the bench and Esme was not known enough to Carmona to place her playing style. Poor Olga wasn't having the best day.
It was in the 14th minute where Fran Kirby delivered a beautiful pass to Chloe who saw Beth running with her into an open space and directed the ball a forward where Beth just had to chip it into the back of the net. You jumped up just like everyone else screaming just as loud as the Lioness fans. Beth came running over to the bench signalling you to come up to the line and the second you did she pulled you into a hug – both of you staying on your side of the pitch
“This is yours pumpkin... this is your goal” Meado whispered into you hair and pressed a loving kiss to your forehead before she sprinted off again going back into her position.
You looked up to the orange sky as the sun set trying to control the tears who threatened to spill out of your eyes. Sarina stepped up next you laying her arm around your shoulders just offering silent support knowing how much this meant to you. Suddenly you felt Keiras hand on your other shoulder, Lucys hands on your waist and Georgias hand sneaking into yours. Weeks later it would be that exact same picture that would be seen as Lucys lock screen at a Barca video.
Spain kicked off again and you smirked seeing how they started to lose their temper already. Alexia tried to keep her players level headed but especially the younger ones like Salma tried the “head through the wall”-technique all the time. Again and again she'll run into the wall even if there where three players running with her one of them in a perfect position to at least get a shot at goal. But you expected something like that but to your surprise it happened faster than you thought. In minute 35 Millie rocket the ball way into the spanish half for Clinton to pick it up getting it to J-Park who put it into the box for Fran who just volleyed past Cata. Sarina pulled you immediately into a big hug and even Fran pointed over to you which got noticed by Alexia who realized that it was your doing that her team was struggling.
It made her so angry and proud at the same time. She saw how her team was slowly falling apart and she couldn't do NOTHING about it because of you. You placed your players perfectly and the formation you chose was just impossible to break – even if they got past your midfield your defence stood like... yes like a brickwall. Alexia saw her team getting frustrated. She needed to do something but she couldn't think of a solution. When Fran Kirby scored the second goal for england and pointed over to you it just made her blood boil. She loved you. She would give her life for you. But right now she wanted to strangle you – publicly. VERY publicly. Jenni came over to her best friend
“What are we gonna do, Capi?” the dark haired asked
“I... I don't know... this is y/n going” the blonde seethed back “I don't know what to do – I don't know how she's thinking”
“Trust your stomach Capi... but it doesn't help the team if you freak out” Jenni said softly squeezing Alexias biceps
“Let us get through the first half... and try scoring... isn't that what you get paid for?” Alexia smiled at her best friend
“Feed me good balls and I'll score” the dark haired one smirked before turning around jogging back into her position
“Oh so it's my fault” Alexia yelled after Jenni smiling
Just three minutes Leah passed the ball to Lotto who took off like a lightning surprising the spanish players once again. She passed Alexia like Speedy Gonzales which caused the spanish capitan to needed a second to realize what happened before sprinting after Lotte yelling spanish commands to her defence. Lotte saw Chloe wide open at the far post, Cata off her line so Lotte did what everyone would do – she pulled her leg back and bolted through the ball. Cata did exactly what Lotte wanted – she came even further off her line. Lotte kicked the a perfect curve ball to Chloe who headed into the back of the net. 3 – 0. The Lionesses were destroying the spanish National team. When you saw Lottes curve ball you already were out your seat – with Keira holding on to your leash tightly – screaming loudly. Chloe came running over to you as well and you did your special city-handshake. You saw Alexia hanging her head low and you felt sorry for her. You could see that the blonde felt guilty for letting Lotte past so easily.
In the 43rd minute even Ona lost her plot committing a foul against Jess Parker which should have been a yellow card – at least in your opinion. You jumped out of your seat starting to yell at the ref from the side-line
“Oy ref.... that's a yellow!!!!” you yelled angrily
“Calm down Bitsy” Keira said softly trying to pull you back on your leash but you were so in your zone you didn't even notice her
“Oy... OY ref you blind moron!!!” you yelled again and this time you got the refs attention as she looked over to you as you grabbed Sarinas glasses of her nose “You need some glasses so you can actually SEE a foul when it's happening??”
Lucy tried to do damage control by putting her hand over your mouth pulling you backwards while you heard Mapí scream from the spanish bench.
“You tell her nena!!! That's my nena!!!” the small spaniard cheered you on not even caring that the foul was committed by her team resulting in a free kick for the Lionesses.
But it was already to late as the ref already was walking over to you. You sized her up standing a little taller on your toes as she already pulled a yellow card from her chest pocket holding it up over your head.
“This is an official warning” she said to you as you continued to glare at her not able to talk back as Lucy still had her hand over your mouth
“Sorry ref... it's her first game and she's a little emotional” Sarina tried to calm the situation signalling your sister to get you back to the bench who immediately understood and janked you backwards so you lost your balance and she had an easier job getting you away.
Meado and Leah stepped up to the free kick both looking over at you for instruction on who should take the free kick. You held up five fingers and signed for top left. You made sure that all the players knew your signs beforehand so Leah nodded barely noticeable winking at you. She quickly talked to Beth who quickly looked over to you smirking. As the whistle blew Meado started to run up to the ball but running over it while Leah came a step behind her kicking the ball in the top left corner making it 4 – 0 for England. This time you just smirked nodding satisfied. Leah came over to you smirking as well as she stood opposite to you and both of you taking a bow at the same time. Every goal the Lionesses scored today they'll dedicate to you – it was Sarinas wish and the team immediately agreed. This was your doing. This was YOUR game.
The first half ended with a defeated spanish team and a happy english team. The players tickling into the locker room in the best mood chatting happily until you climbed up on a bench whistleing loudly
“Okay guys that was more than perfect – Lotte... great game so far really... you're a perfect false 6... Hillary... you were outstanding for your first game... really great job... great passes, quick thinking, great overview.... really REALLY good job out there... the rest of you was amazing too... honestly you all play phenomenal... we still do the halftime changes and we go a little easy on Spain and go back to 3-3-4” you said before you stepped down again letting Leah take over leaving the locker room.
Outside Sarina waited for you smiling
“You always have to cause trouble, don't you Liefje?” the dutch smiled “A yellow – I can't believe it”
“Not my fault that ref is blind as a mole” you grumbled but a smile tugged on your lips “I'm gonna get that yellow after the game and gift it to Ona... it's hers anyway”
Sarina laughed loudly pulling you back towards the pitch as you looked at her
“Mama Rina... I have another sub if you're okay with it” you smiled
“You can do whatever you want today Liefje” Sarina smiled back
“Perfect” you smiled happily as you felt a hand smacking your ass making you jump and turn to your right seeing your girlfriend jogging past laughing “I'll get you for that Stanway!” you yelled after her
“All empty promises” Georgia laughed as she jogged out of the tunnel
The second half began as the first one ended with England dominating the game being fired up from the comfortable lead and the nervousness from Spain. Spain subbed some players too at halftime one of them being Mapí León who stopped at your height when she entered the pitch
“Nena... I love you... but now I have to do my job okay... I can't let you score again” the spaniard said a little sadly
“Oh don't worry... I know colorbook spaniard... we'll still score at least one more” you grinned at her which made her grin back at you before jogging on
At the 72nd minute you made two more subs just like you cleared with Sarina. LJ came on for Chloe who started to get tired anyway and Less replaced Meado who just came back from an injury. Georgia did a good job in midfield together with Toons and soon Cata got basically bombarded with shots on her goal while the english defence got a breather. Against all odds it was actually Georgia who scored the 5 – 0 after Less pelted the ball against the crossbar and the ball landed at Gs feet who just took her chance and just... scored. Your girlfriend couldn't believe it herself as Less and Toons jumped on top of her screaming loudly. As soon as Georgia got rid of the two stooges she ran over to the side-line stopping right in front of you
“I can't do what I want to do right now but I promise I do it when we win the world cup for you” your girlfriend said softly and you smiled at her
“I'll hold you to it Stanway” you smiled back as she mocked a salute before running off
It was the 84th minute when you made your final sub. You did send Lucy to warm up who just smirked
“You just can't get around letting me sitting on the bench can't you” your sister teased and you smirked back
“Something like that” you answered
You went up to the fourth official to tell her that you had one last sub. She took out her notebook writing down the numbers who get subbed and looked at you confused
“Are you sure? No. 2 comes on for No.13?” the fourth official looked at you
“Yes I'm sure” you smirked widely
“13 is your Goalkeeper” the woman specified
“Yes I know...” you shrugged your shoulders smiling before getting back to your bench “Luce... get ready – coming on the next chance”
“Sure... any orders?” your sister said as she tied her laces again
“Just... keep a clean sheet okay” you smirked
“What?” Lucy asked confused but you ushered her out to the side-line.
The board went up and it showed the green no.2 – which caused a lot of cheering by the fans – and a the red no. 13. THAT on the other hand caused a LOT of confusion. Hannah looked over at you for clearance and you nodded grinning while Keira was howling in laughter
“Are you serious?” Sarina looked at you shocked
“Yes... I am dead serious... Lucy wanted to play... she gets to play” you grinned as you watched Hannah jogging over already pulling her gloves of her hands pushing them against Lucys chest who turned around to you shocked
“What the hell..” your sister started
“Get going Bronze... and keep that clean sheet... Hannah did amazing out there and there's only a few minutes left... trust the process and trust your defence” you said as you gave your sister a push so she would step on the pitch.
The game ended with a glorious win for England. The team celebrated on the pitch and with the fans. But not you. You stood at the side-line and kept your eyes fixed on your girlfriend and the raven haired spaniard who stood very VERY close to her – too close for your liking.
“What's wrong Bitsy?” Keira appeared next to you wrapped in her warm fluffy team jacket her warm breath coming out puffy in the cold english air.
“Nothing” you mumbled distracted growling lowly when the spaniard laid her hand on the lower arm of your girlfriend
Keira followed your eyes until she found the scene of your obvious bad mood. When the blonde realized what was happening she bursted out laughing
“Don't laugh... who is that?” you grumbled annoyed still rooted in your place
“That's Nuria... Nuria Rábano... left back... plays for Wolfsburg in Germany and obviously Spain” Keira chuckled watching as the dark haired woman laughed at something G said her head thrown back
“She's touching what's mine” you growled seeing how the spaniard grabbed your girlfriends arm tighter
“They played each other just before camp... and she's spanish” the blonde answered still very amused about the whole situation
“People could get a wrong picture of it” your mood didn't really improve with all the information Keira provided
“You know what they say... Are they dating or are they spanish?” Keira found great entertainment in poking at your ego a little bit
“I don't like it” you grumbled
“Green isn't really your colour Bitsy” Keira smirked at the your displayed jealousy as you started to walk into your girlfriends direction rather aggressive
“Green is the perfect colour for me... makes my eyes pop” you yelled back growling already halfway there.
Keira just laughed at your antics turning walking around over to Beth and Leah starting her fan round
“This is amazing... putting five past Coll just feels amazing” Ella screamed so you could hear her over the noise of the fans
“Told you it'll work... just trust me” you yelled back laughing “I don't know what her obsession is with Luce but damn... thank you Carmona”
“She looks pissed” Less laughed next to you as you got sandwiched between her and Ella
“I mean... not my fault” you grinned as you three went across the pitch shaking hands with the spanish players.
You stopped shortly at Aitana for both of you to awkwardly shake hands and then quickly walking away again
“What was that??” Lessi laughed in your face
“We... yeah” you shrugged lost
“I mean that's full on Tooney behaviour” the blonde laughed
“Oi” Ella exclaimed loudly “I wasn't THAT bad”
“True... you were worse” you bursted out laughing “If it wasn't for Luce you'd never have gotten that picture... isn't it your lock screen?”
“Shut up the both of ya” Tooney grumbled
“Hola Cariño” you suddenly hear behind you
You turned around smirking turning Less and Tooney (who totally didn't squeal as she reconized Alexia) with you.
“Hola pretty spaniard” you grinned and Alexia laughed out loud
“Good game” the blonde spaniard smirked at you “Good tactics”
“I'll let the staff know” you smirked enjoying that little banter between the two of you
“Whoever came up with that deserves a raise – no one noticed a weak link in our play before.. or threw us off of our game like this ever before” Alexia grinned knowing fully well it was you
“I'll tell the head coach... yeah... we have a new member of staff... she's good...” you wriggled your eyebrows
“I noticed... but is she good enough to come up with more solutions since she just spilled her little... plan” spains capitana smirked right back at you
“She'll have some surprise ready for you the next time we face each other” you smirked “Alexia... Lessi Russo... Ella Toone” you now introduced your best friends “Me best mates”
“Alessia” Lessi corrected you pronouncing the “A” extra loud
You rolled your eyes for good measure and shoved her away
“You do know I know them right? Last year? Final” Alexia laughed
“No... you know the football players Alessia Russo and Ella Toone” you basically screamed the Alessia “But this two are my best friends...” you smiled
“Less.. Toons.. Alexia “Don't touch that” Putellas... two times Ballon d'Or...” you started before getting big eyes as you frantically looked for Mapí
“... Winner, Cariño... I won that trophy twice...” Alexia laughed as you stopped mid-sentence
“Yeah... sure... winner... twice” you said as realized that she had no idea that there was in fact just ONE whole Ballon d'Or... and one broken one
“You sure are something Cariño” the blonde spaniard smiled as she hugged you
“Ew... go away... you're all sweaty” you faked disgust trying to push her off “AND you wear the wrong jersey...”
“I'm very sorry” Alexia said “apologetic” and hugged you even tighter “You want my jersey?”
“Nope” you snorted “But Lessi over here is a BIG fan”
“You want to swap?” the spaniard smiled at your friend who – in true Less fashion nodded frantically and tried to get her jersey over her head just to get stuck in it
You knew the second you saw her tugging on it the second time that there definitely will be a clip of it – and it definitely will go viral.
With the help of Toons and you you managed to get her out of her jersey which she embarrassed offered to a smirking Alexia
“Come on Stooches” you heard Lucy yell from the place she stood with Ona (and Mario for cover) “Time for huddle”
“But I didn't see Mapí” you whined back
“And it will stay that way” Alexia quickly said firmly
“We're on english soil... you can't tell me what to do in me home” you whined
“Lucia?!” Alexia didn't even bother to give in to your whine “you're hermanita wants to spend time with María”
“Absolutely not” Keira yelled from your other side where she was talking to Irene and Patri
“Tweedledumb” you yelled happily skipping over to the trio leaving Lessi and Toons awkwardly standing next to Alexia
“I was tweedledee” Patri said confused
“No... I'm pretty sure you were tweedledumb” you mused
“Bitsy... don't you have someone else to annoy” Keira pressed a soft kiss to your temple
“I would... but pretty spaniard won't let me go to colorbook spaniard” you whined
“Wrong.. I... won't leave you go to Mapí...” Keira laughed
“But whyyyyy” you whined again
“Really?” the blonde raised her eyebrow at you
“Ugh...” you huffed before you suddenly perked up
“What have you seen now?” Keira immediately felt the change in your body language
“Not what... who” you smirked “Hola sexy spaniard”
“Hola little One... you behaving?” Jenni grinned at you as she came over
“Never... good game Hermosa”
All the players around you stopped talking looking at you confused as Jenni began smirking.
“What?” you asked looking around
“Did... did you just call me beautiful?” the black haired woman smirked as Alexia began to laugh trying to hide it behind her hand
“WHAT??? NO!!!” you screeched horrified as you saw G looking at you suspicious
“You did Cariño... Hermosa means beautiful in spanish” Alexia laughed
“Dear bloody fucking...” you started getting interrupted by Lucy
“Push ups!!”
“CHRIST... Ona said the female version of things is A at the end... the male mostly O... as far as I can tell she has breast and no dick!!!” you enthral loudly
“y/n Bronze... watch your mouth... we're in public” Keira said sternly giving you a death glare
“Sorry” you said ashamed “But... she laughed” you pointed at Alexia
“Because you got it wrong” Keira rolled her eyes “and it wasn't a bad mistake... just a mistake.. get over it... and now come on... Sarina is waiting”
You huffed but let Keira pull you along. You watched as the spanish player went over to their head coach Jorge Vilda (or as you called him Vileda – because he's a mop and nothing more) and their president Rubiales. They were laughing with each other when you saw out of the corner of your eye how Rubiales grabbed Jennis head with both hands and how she moved backwards a little bit. It happened so quickly that if someone (Lucy and Keira... and Sarina) asked you afterwards you couldn't even answer why you did what you did.
You saw how his head moved closer to hers and how she slightly leaned backwards. You pushed yourself away from Keira who looked after you confused before yelling out to Lucy (who was in conversation with Meado). You quickly covered the distance between you and the spanish team shoving bodies to the side until you were standing behind Jenni when you saw that he actually DID press his lips to hers. You yanked her around and away from Rubiales as you already had your balled fist lifted behind your head. You knew you had one go and only one. So you made good use of it putting all your anger into that punch. You felt your fist connect with his face (more specifically his nose) and a gush of red liquid landed on your white Lioness jersey.
It just took seconds but these seconds went past like they were hours. You saw how first Rubiales looked at you confuse. Then shocked and when your fist connected with his face how his whole face flew to the side and he tumbled backwards his hands flying to his nose. There was a deadly silence in the stadium – 74.310 fans were silent.
The next second you felt hands on your shoulders and around your torso as several people started to get in between you and Rubiales. Lucy, Keira, Ona, Alexia, Mary, Leah, Mario – all of them and some more getting in between the two of you. Lucy had her arms around your torso pulling you backwards while the spanish girls trying to get you away before Luis recovered.
Lucy (with the help of Keira and Mary) got your growling fuming form into the tunnel and then the locker-room. Sarina wasn't far behind
“All of you leave” the dutch ordered strictly
Quickly the three players got out of the room knowing not to start an argument with Sarina right now
“Are you actually completely mad?” the blonde dutch said upset “Do you even realize what you've done out there??”
“I...” you looked at her and she saw that you actually DIDN'T know what you did “no... I don't know... I saw how he grabbed her head and then... I don't know”
“You hit him” Sarina said slowly trying to see if you played her
“Did I get him good? He's an arrogant pig” you asked
Sarina just pointed at your jersey waiting for your reaction
“Wow... shit... is this his blood?” you looked up after discovering the splash of red on the white fabric
“Yes... y/n... I need the truth... do you REALLY not remember?” Sarina looked you straight in the eye and you held the eye contact
“I swear Mama Rina... I remember seeing him grabbing her head and then you yelling at me – I swear” you said honestly
“Okay...” the blonde sighed out “... we need to do damage control... you NEED to apologize to the spanish federation”
“WHAT? No... he IS a pig...” you exclaimed
“Liefje... you don't have to mean it... just sell it... because if you don't the FIFA has a reason to ban you from the World cup...” Sarina pressed
“And he just can do whatever he wants and gets away with it?” you said upset
“The only one who can press charges right now is Hermoso... not the spanish team or you.. this part of the problem doesn't concern you... but you need to openly apologise... and you need to sell it” the dutch said firmly trying to get through to you
“Okay...” you huffed “I don't like it... but I'll do it for you”
“Thank you Liefje... and please... after you apologized... don't throw an “asshole” in there” Sarina smiled
“Damn it” you cursed
“Yeah... I do know you” the blonde laughed
The two of you exit the locker-room and to no surprise your sister and Keira were still waiting outside
“ARE YOU ACTUALLY..” Lucy started before she gets interrupted by Sarina
“Stop it... we already talked about it and she will apologise” the dutch said sternly
Your sister huffed but after a second smiled
“Nice right hook... made me proud” Lucy grinned ruffling your hair
“Thanks... Jorge taught me” you grinned back as you passed the spanish locker-room
“Wait” you said quickly before you knocked at the door
You waited a few seconds before Misa Rodríguez opened the door looking at you carefully
“Sí?” she asked raising an eyebrow
“Okay look... I neither have the time nor the patience to even try to get you to understand me three words of spaniard so I'm gonna do it me way” you huffed out before yelling into the room “HERMOSO!!!”
Seconds later Jenni pushed Misa slightly to the side standing now in the doorway
“Yes?” the dark haired woman asked and you could see that she was still somewhat upset.
“Here” you said as you pulled the Jersey with Rubiales blood on it over your head “It's yours... you deserve it... whenever you question if people will have your back – it was me honour to have your back at this moment... end him Hermoso...” you said intensely before turning around leaving
“Wait” Jenni quickly grabbed your wrist “Thank you” she smiled slightly
“Let him bleed Jenni... he doesn't deserve your mercy” you said firmly “What he did was wrong... and he should carry the consequences”
“Here” this time Jenni pulled her jersey over her head “It's sweaty but I think it's just fair that you get the jersey from the person who got you in trouble”
“Meeh... I always get meself into trouble... but I'll wear it when I apologise to Rubiales... so that he knows that I'll stick to your side” you winked
“You're going to apologise??” Jenni asked shocked
“Have to... Sarina said I don't have to mean it... I just have to sell it... otherwise FIFA can ban me from being part of the team” you grinned
“Thank you y/n Bronze... I owe you” Jenni smiled again
“Yeah about that... I would love to win next year... could you maybe... hold back a little” you grinned and Jenni bursted out laughing
“You can keep dreaming because that won't happen” the dark haired woman laughed.
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hauntingblue · 2 months
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ANOTHER DEATH BY INMOLATION???? ENOUGH!!!!
#really happy about being wrong about oden. normally when you see something is badly written it is true but here oden being alive being bad#writing was a trally a gotcha moment.... well unlike with pell and laki and wiper..... and conis' dad....#ashura....... and kanjuro is still alive...... this man deserves an execution#is this orichi??? the beheaded one was a kanjuro drawing too???? jesus#orichis fruit is a dragon with a lot of heads.... maybe he can regrow them lmao....#omg double hakai.... goodbye my brave soldiers.... ZORO?? ENMA IS A GODSEND YOU OWN ALL YOUR LIVES TO HIYORI....#zoro got hurt and luffy is on the offensive again..... exactly..... YES RED ROCK!!! BUT DON'T MISS!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1025#oden and kin on a flower field..... okay......#luffy stopping the attack meant for zoro.... oof#kaido's face knowing this was gonna hurt....#kid and traffy catching luffy too..... everybody loves luffy.....#how can luffy just stop kaido's attack like that's insane....#the others attacking big mom... that was such a big brain move.... they made teams here... luffy and then the brains (everyone elseÑ#jesus. that was something else#luffys giggle and smile when kid and tragfy catch him... he is so happy when people are there for him..... he loves fighting with friends :)#episode 1026#OMG GOODBYE BIG MOM!!!! SHE IS IN THE SEA I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!#TRAFFY RATHER LET THE MISSION FAIL THAN ONE OF THEM DIE??? OMG#HOW IS PROMETHEUS IN THE WATER?????? FUCK OFF!!!!#they are bullying zeus lmaooo INTERNAL FIGHTING!! INTERNAL FIGHTING!!!#luffy knocked out and atill looking at kaido again.... ooff#this is insane. luffy just saved zoro and told him he wont need to die and here he goes again. oh this time i migh fr die. take care goodbye#the bleeding... oof THE SCAR JUST AS THE ONE HE HAS.... goodbye zolo..... rip bozo... don't fall like that man..... ass up like sanji...#he got a 2x1 hit..... goodbye law too.... kaido's eye when he notices luffy is up again.... also haoshoku..... i dont wanna look it up.....#nvm is the conqueror's haki.... i do not remember the og names AT ALL#episode 1027
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joeys-babe · 3 months
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Joey B Blurbs: With A Little Help From My Friends
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Summary: You and a few other WAGs do a prank on your boys by buying them all matching shirts for a get-together without them knowing.
Warnings: Fluff, unserious/funny, pranks
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic
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January 20, 2024 - *36 weeks pregnant*
“Joe, I have your outfit laid out on the island in the closet.” - you
Joe’s head snapped away from the TV and over in my direction. I'd just walked into the kitchen from getting ready upstairs. Joe sat on the couch watching The Office reruns, all cuddled up with Tyson and Miles - looking adorable.
“What? I can pick my outfit out.” - Joe
“I know, but I ordered you a new shirt that I'd like you to wear.” - you
“Oh, okay. What is it?” - Joe
“A flannel.” - you
“Mmm, okay.” - Joe
A few moments later, I sat down on the couch with my boys, but Joe left just a minute later to get ready himself.
Robin and Jimmy were coming in a bit to watch the twins while Joe and I went over to Sam’s for a get-together with some of his teammates.
The guys had no idea, though, that the WAG’s group chat had been super active the past week leading up to tonight.
A prank was to ensue, and it was that we'd all secretly ordered the same shirt for our men. We'd all show up one by one, and the guy’s reactions to matching would be hilarious.
Plus, Joe would look hot as hell in a flannel.
Half an Office episode later, Joe came bounding down the stairs. The greyish flannel looked amazing on him, giving off major dad vibes, paired with regular-fitting blue jeans that had been sitting untouched in the closet since I'd ordered them.
I let out a teasing whistle, Joe blushing at the cat-call.
“You like?” - Joe
“Yes. You look amazing, Joey. Do a little spin for me?” - you
Joe happily obliged before searching for approval in my facial expression.
“Love it. I need to start sneaking more of this style into your side of the closet.” - you
“Is that style ‘I have two kids and another on the way’?” - Joe
“Bingo. I told you, you're a DILF.” - you
“You love to remind me of that.” - Joe
“Because it's true.” - you grinned
——
There was a ring of the doorbell, and I went to stand up from the couch, but Joe ushered me to sit back down.
“Hey Mom, hey Dad. Thanks for watching the boys.” - Joe
“Oh, of course!” - Robin
Robin and Jimmy had barely made it into the house before they were ambushed by Tyson and Miles.
They happily hugged their grandbabies, and Jimmy picked up Miles in his arms.
“Where's your wife, Joseph Lee?” - Robin
“On the couch, she went to open the door, but I waved her off.” - Joe
Robin gave her son a proud nod, grateful that he was treating his pregnant wife as he should.
The five of them eventually walked back into the living room, and Joe plopped back onto the couch next to me, putting his arm around me on the back of the couch.
“You look great, y/n!” - Robin
“Aww, thank you. I'm feeling great as well. Baby girl is treating my bladder a lot better than the twins did.” - you laughed
“That's good! I love your dress, makes your bump pop.” - Robin grinned
“Joe actually picked it out.” - you
I put a hand on Joe’s chest and smiled up at him, a glint in his eye when he returned the soft grin.
“Wow, I would’ve never expected that.” - Robin
Laughing, I understood where she was coming from. My dress was a solid black, nothing like anything in Joe’s side of the closet.
“I picked his outfit out, though.” - you smiled
“That was my next question! That style looks good on you, Joey. You look very adult.” - Robin
“Thank you? I think.” - Joe
“It was meant to be a compliment. I think so, at least…” - Jimmy
A few seconds of laughter went by before Joe patted my thigh and spoke up.
“Ready to go, babe?” - Joe
“Sure!” - you
Joe stood up before turning around to me and putting a hand out to help me up.
Once I was on my feet, Joe let go of one of my hands but still held the other.
“We’ll be back later!” - Joe
He led me over to the garage door of the house and grabbed his keys to the Porsche off of the hook.
Sweetly, Joe walked me over to the passenger side of the car and opened my door for me, along with helping me sit down before shutting the door back.
“Whatcha wanna listen to?” - Joe
Joe always joked about my passenger princess ways, but here he was, offering me to pick the music before I even asked.
In the end, I pulled up my Spotify playlist “’60s-’70s Love Songs” and shuffled it.
Looking over at Joe as he backed out of the driveway, I giggled as he playfully rolled his eyes with a smile on his face at my music selection.
For dramatic effect, I grabbed onto Joe’s shoulder and sang Be My Baby by The Ronettes into my hand like I was holding a microphone.
“You're crazy.” - Joe laughed
“But you love me.” - you
“That I do, my baby.” - Joe
——
I had my arm looped with Joe’s as we stood on Sam’s front porch. Joe had just rung the doorbell and now we're waiting for an answer.
Squeezing his bicep lightly, Joe’s eyes darted to me.
“You okay, Mama?” - Joe
“Mhm. Just love you in this shirt.” - you grinned
Just a few seconds later, the front door swung open, revealing Sam.
“Hey, Burrow’s! Woah- what the hell? Joe, are we matching?” - Sam
I giggled to myself as Joe and Sam looked down at their flannels and then at each other.
“That's weird man, but I def wore it better.” - Joe
Sam rolled his eyes before stepping to the side to let Joe and me inside the house.
I immediately greeted Jess, who complimented my pregnancy glow, and while we were deep into conversation, the doorbell rang again.
When Sam opened the door, Jess and I exchanged knowing looks at each other.
On the front porch, Cody Ford and Evan McPherson were laughing about the fact they had matching shirts on while Tianna and Gracie stood to the side laughing.
“What the hell!” - Sam
“You guys have it too?!” - Evan
Joe was full-on cackling, and I couldn't help but mirror my husband.
The girls walked over and sat next to me and Jess, our boys all pointing at each other’s shirts while laughing.
Thirty minutes later, over ten more guys had shown up, all in the same flannel, and Joe and his guys found it hilarious each time.
The girls and I all sat in a corner of the living room, recording and laughing at the reactions coming out of the guys.
They really were adult toddlers, but that's what makes being married to one fun.
After dinner, Joe found me by myself in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me from behind. At first, I couldn't tell who it was because all the guys here had the same long-sleeved shirt on, and all I could see were the person's arms.
The thought didn't last too long when I saw the wedding ring on the person’s finger that was too unique to be anyone other than Joe.
“Hi, Mama.” - Joe
“Hi, Joey.” - you
“Can I ask you a question?” - Joe
“Of course.” - you
With Joe’s hands on my bump, I covered them with my own and let my head fall back onto his chest/shoulder.
“Who wore the shirt best?” - Joe
“I'm kinda biased, but you, for sure.” - you
“Yeah?” - Joe
“Mhm, I'm gonna start sneaking more flannels into your closet.” - you
“I'll wear ‘em if they get a good reaction out of you.” - Joe
“Oh, you know they will.” - you giggled
I turned around in Joe’s arms and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, my hands on his chest.
Slowly, Joe leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine.
A minute later, we were still kissing. The craving for each other was never satisfied, but we were interrupted by a loud, fake, gagging sound.
“For the love of god, she's already pregnant! You guys are disgusting!” - Ja’Marr
I leaned my head onto Joe’s chest with a giggle as he glared at one of his best friends.
“Ja’Marr, get the fuck away!” - Joe
Ja’Marr threw his arms up in surrender before walking out of the kitchen. Joe turned back to me with a sly grin on his face.
“Sorry, Mrs. Burrow. Where were we?” - Joe
I’d never get tired of him calling me that.
“Mmm, I think we might've been kissing.” - you
“Let's test that theory.” - Joe
Just as Joe was leaning in, our lips brushed together, but something made him pull back.
“Y'all nasty!” - Ja’Marry whisper yelled
“Ja’Marr!!” - Joe yelled
Sure, they got annoying sometimes, but deep down, Joe knew he wouldn't get by without a little help from his friends. Even if said help was unwanted.
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Authors note: y'all, I ground out a fic for you guys. 💀
Request for this fic;
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Hope you enjoyed! 💕
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xerith-42 · 3 months
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Some things we may have forgotten
I've been rewatching MCD and taking extensive notes on it in hopes that I'll never have to watch it again and this is just a list of things that I don't see mentioned or brought up very often/ever that we should talk about and think about more
In the first episode Garroth tries to attack Vylad (angst potential) and Vylad literally just combat locks him by logging out of the game. This is objectively funny and should not be rewritten in any capacity. This should be canon as it is in every universe.
Aphmau's cat Meowki gets randomly killed in Episode 12 by a skeleton while Kiki is right upstairs. Just saying, there's some angst potential there.
In episode 11 Garroth reveals that he knows some medicine. Pretty sure this is never brought up again, but we could always bring it up.
Logan is apparently good with a bow while Zenix is trash at it despite being a self proclaimed "expert archer" which I think is very funny (I know this is part of Zenix's cover but what if we took it seriously it would be so funny)
Zoey is originally from the river village, as is Donna. Pretty sure they retcon that for Zoey, but I like to think the two of them could have been friends before Phoenix Drop.
Garroth actually almost dies in episode 15. Like Dr. Doctor says he will probably die soon at the start of the episode. And he doesn't get healed until episode 20. He literally spends 5 episodes laid up in bed dying.
Brendan's at his side probably angsting the entire time I'm just saying if you want sad gay fanfics, it's sitting right there!
Azura and Garroth were friends as kids??? Hello???? I think this is just a massive plot hole considering what Garroth's actual backstory ends up being asjfgshjdfgjk
Okay but if we twist it a little bit, they were friends as kids as in like at the guard academy??? Bc they're like vaguely teenage/young adult so maybe that's what she means? In which case I wanna think about that more because childhood friends to lovers is one of my favorite romance arcs ever. But is it really childhood friends if you met when you were like... 18?? And you're in your like mid to late twenties probably, I wouldn't really classify that as childhood friends.
WAIT IT GETS WORSE!
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I don't... I don't even have a joke here, this is just a massive plot hole. Like all of this is just not true to Garroth's backstory as we know it. Grew up in the same village? You mean O'Khasis?? Where Garroth also FAKED HIS DEATH????
I literally don't know what to say to this I was just trying to find silly little facts to try and incorporate into my rewrite and instead I found a massive gaping plot hole
Moving on, in episode 19 when Aphmau confronts Zenix and they fight, he actually apologizes to her. As if he regrets having to hurt her for the sake of his/the Shadow King's goals.
The Lord of Brightport says the Shadow King "used to be a lord". Which like... Okay, I can bend backwards a few ways to say that he could be referring to how Shad started Falcon Claw, but how the fuck does this dude know that??? I feel like Laurance constantly just stumbling into plot holes by complete accident
Dale is apparently a Garmau shipper, going as far as to ask Aphmau if she plans on hooking up with Garroth. I like to think that he and Molly have a bet going for how long it takes for one of the two of them to finally fess up.
Raven's mom tried to eat him??
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Okay then.
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