#i watched the show so many times at this point i can pinpoint exactly what they got from the book as i see it

[bozhenkamoya]

#notmylouis

[takenbypeter]

Different In Every Way

Adam Warlock x reader

Words: 1801

Authors note: I did not expect people to actually want to read that little fic idea I posted but so many of y’all wanted this so I did it. Y’all made this happen. Also reader is tan or brown however you wanna perceive this. I made it for myself tho really🤣 and I’m tan/brown.

Taglist: @spderm4nnnn

It was difficult to pinpoint when it all began. It was like one day Adam Warlock just appeared by your side and ever since then he’s been there. It was strange to you because he honestly didn’t seem the type to be interested in others, but he would go out of his way to talk to you. But you couldn’t help but think, what interest could you bring to him. You weren’t a guardian, you were just a Terran who lived on Knowhere. So at first you were confused by the way he seemed to constantly look for you.

In the beginning he came to you with simple curiosities, “what is this? What is that?” And you’d tell him, even show him if needed. Then he’d begin coming to you with other problems.

“But I don’t get it,” he’d say after dishing out how mad Drax had become once he brought up how useless he believed Mantis was and how she slowed Drax down.

“Mantis was an asset, she helped us see things that sometimes we couldn’t. It’s like you and your pet,” you pointed to the brown furry creature that he constantly had by his side on Knowhere. “He doesn’t offer you anything but companionship but would you say he’s an asset?”

Adam looked down at the animal that was cuddled on his lap before smiling a little. “I’d say so. He makes me happy.”

“Exactly, Mantis isn’t a pet but she is an asset. Plus bad mouthing people isn’t nice, so try to avoid that.”

“But you guys bad mouth each other all the time.”

“To the person's face, there’s a difference. Unless it’s a bad guy then you can say whatever you want about them,” you explain and he looks far off, clearly trying to make sense of it all.

“Some of your rules here are very confusing.”

You gave him a little pat on the shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll grasp it soon enough.”

After time conversations shifted from curiosities about the planet to curiosities about you. Sometimes it was simple like your favorite food and then after giving your answer he would want to try it with you. But other times it was just random things.

“Which member is your favorite of the new Guardians?” He’d ask as you two would be sitting on the balcony, his pet, Blurp sat in between as you people watched.

“Hmm, probably Cosmo.”

“What?!” He’d turn to you, offense clearly written on his face. “What about me!?”

You’d laugh looking down at cosmo who was messing around with Kraglin. “I’m sorry but just look at Cosmo,” his gaze follows yours to look down at the dog. “She’s so cute, I just wanna squish her face.”

“Okay okay, fine I can accept that…then who after Cosmo?”

“Hmm,” you’d scrunch your face and tilt your head, “I really really wanna say Rocket,” his jaw dropped and you finally looked at him, a little chuckle coming out from you, “but I think it’s you.”

Adam grew silent trying to hide the proud smile that was threatening to take over his expressions.

So yeah, chats with Adam were nice.

Then one day Drax, Nebula, and Groot were out at the center area, engaged in discussion as you were just coming out for a little greeting.

As you were passing by you waved and Groot said something that made you stop, “I am Groot.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you came close to the group, “you know something I don’t know? What do you know?” You eyeballed the other two curiously. Nebula looked regular as always but Drax, Drax had a strange expression on his face like he was ready to explode…and then he did.

In laughter that was.

You stood there confused as his laughter bellowed out into the air.

“What is going on?” You asked, still haven’t gotten an answer.

Nebula rolled her eyes while Drax tried to talk to you through his fit, “golden boy…” he’d laugh again, “golden boy thinks you’re made of bronze!” He’d burst out again and you’d turn to Nebula with your expression practically begging for an explanation.

“When we were talking with Adam he constantly was bringing you up. We pointed it out and asked why and he said he has strange feelings towards you—“

“He said he has feelings for you because you’re just like him!!!” Drax would interrupt bursting into another fit. “He thinks you’re made of metal!”

That was news to you.

He likes me? Was your first thought but what you asked instead was, “he thinks I’m metal?”

Nebula continued, “yeah he thinks you’re copper or bronze because of your skin. We didn’t tell him he was wrong because we felt like that was your place.”

Drax continued laughing and Nebula had enough, “would you shut up already! It’s not that funny!”

“But…but he only likes you because you’re like him, but what’s he gonna do when he finds out you’re from Earth!”

“Drax!”

“I am Groot.”

“What? How’s that mean? I think it’s gonna be a hilarious story,” Drax said, turning to Groot.

You’ve heard enough, thanking them and glaring at Drax you went out to search for Adam.

All you could think while you searched was that now it all made sense why he came up to you specifically back then. It’s not like your skin tone was rare but I guess it stood out a little against the colorful skin that others had.

But did he actually only like you because of that?

Wait, did you like him?

You searched until you saw him coming out of one of the buildings across the way. You stood there unable to bring yourself to him.

Oh god you did like him.

I guess all that time you spent with him, you somehow gained feelings along the way.

His eyes looked around as if deciding where to go next.

“Don’t look this way. Don’t look this way,” you whispered frozen in place. His eyes stopped on you before the gold around them crinkled as his face spread into a grin.

Wait, what is he going to think when he realizes I’m from Earth?

Suddenly you didn’t even want to think about that conversation.

He took a step towards you and that was it, you immediately spun on your heel opting to have the conversation whenever you sorted your own thoughts out.

“Wait!” Is what you heard as you continued on trying to escape the golden boy. You made it all the way back to where you began, the main area where the others were. You couldn’t get too far though and Adam easily caught your arm, making you turn around in the action.

“I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” He asked. He looked genuinely concerned for you which is definitely not a sight that you needed to see right now.

You glanced around at the others, awkwardly not wanting to talk about this with them there. Nebula and Groot looked away while Drax just put another Zargnut in his mouth, clearly entertained.

Like hell you were going to do this here. “Come here,” you took his golden hand and pulled him behind you leading him to the balcony where you two have spent many days together.

Once there you spun around and turned to him and without giving yourself any time to back out, you said, “I have strange, romantic feelings for you, and I think you have feelings for me.”

Adam was stunned by the comment. A few weeks ago he didn’t even understand what those feelings were, he had to talk to others to even understand what those feelings were. But now suddenly he finds out you have them too, he was ecstatic, he was happy, he was going to kill the person who told you that he had feelings for you.

The corners of his mouth pulled as he began to smile.

“But before anything happens between us, there’s something you should know.”

His eyebrows furrow. “What’s going to happen between us?”

Now was not the time to be explaining…all that, you shook your head and tried to continue, “nothing. Just…nothing. That’s not the point, the point is,” your hands curve as you motion to yourself, “I’m not made of metal.”

He says nothing, just looks at you eyebrows still together and you don’t even know what to make of that expression.

“I’m Terran. You know from Earth.” He still looked a little off, “like Quill,” you added and it finally seemed to click as he held out an, “ooohh.”

But again he looked confused, “but you and Peter…you look so different.”

“Yeah well while your planet comes in only one color, on my planet people come in all sorts of different shades and colors. Not bright colors, just very…neutral.”

Adam was silent again as he took in this new information.

You were from Terra.

Earth.

His mind seemed to be in its own thoughts while you stood there beginning to feel uncomfortable with what had to come eventually.

“Look, I know you like me because you think I’m exactly like you. But I’m just not.”

You don’t blame him if his feelings for you dwindle because of this, you weren’t ashamed of who you were but you were just disheartened that it turned out this way.

He was taking a while to respond and for a moment you wondered if you should just save you both the trouble and leave by your own two feet.

But then he spoke, “it’s true I believed we were the same, and that may have been the reason I searched for you. But in no way was that the sole reason for me gaining some certain feelings of emotion towards you. I believe I have these feelings because of our differences. You have taught me so much because of our different experiences, and that fact has not changed.”

He finishes his small speech and you don’t know exactly what to make of all that information, “so what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I still have fond feelings for you and if you’ll let me, I’d love for us to spend more time together. Solely the two of us.”

You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that but you think he was asking you out on a date.

“I’d love that too.”

Adam smiles at you, his expression displaying a sort of idiotic happy type smile and all you could do was mirror it.

“See they’re smiling I knew it would work out,” Drax said from down below as the three peered up at you both.

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah yeah, it’s beautiful now, come on. We got things to do,” Nebula said while taking off ushering the others to follow behind her.

[writingforstraykids]

All the times you fell in love with Minho

Pairing: Minho/Lee Know x fem!reader

Word Count: 3670

Summary: Falling for Minho has happened in small stages and some moments stuck out: helping you learn Korean, picking you up when it rains, or showing you around his hometown, and many more.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, slight angst, soft!minho, friends to lovers

A/N: This is just a collection of short "stories" that I might conclude to a fiction, filling the gaps one day. I hope you enjoy it!😊~Moon🌙

You can't exactly pinpoint the moment you knew that Minho was the one. It got lost in a blur of memories, loads of emotions, and incredible moments spent together for years. If someone would ask you what made you fall in love with him, though, you could think of a few moments…

One

It's already getting dark outside as you walk down the street next to your best friend. You shove your hands into your pockets and exhale softly, watching your breath dance through the air. "I can't wait to be back home." 

"Why are you suddenly in such a rush?" he asks confused. After all, you have wanted to go for a walk tonight. "I thought you liked this?" 

"I do," you clarify, laughing. "It's just getting really cold, and I miss my blanket." 

"Unbelievable," he teases you and gently pokes your side. "I thought we were getting dinner," he pouts. 

"We can still do that…on our way home?" you suggest, and he rolls his eyes at you. 

"Fine," he sighs dramatically and gently bumps his shoulder against yours as it starts to rain very gently. "You'll start melting now?" 

"You're an idiot," you groan, and he smirks, satisfied that he pissed you off. 

"Not really, you're just being ridiculous," he tells you, and you're about to protest when suddenly he stops walking. His whole expression changes, eyes lightening up and a wide smile covering his lips. "Hii," he says softly and crouches down. You frown softly and only now realize the cat strolling towards Minho. You stare at him as he scratches its head and talks to it in a voice you've only heard him do around children before. 

"Min, what if it's sick?" you ask worriedly, and he rolls his eyes with a soft groan. 

"Y/N, not everything outside of your flat is a danger, alright?" he reminds you before looking down at the cat again. "I mean, how could you be, huh? Such a sweet little baby," he cooes, and you have to bite back a laugh at how his whole demeanor changes. Cute. 

Two 

A frustrated groan leaves your lips staring at the page in front of you. It's been a few months since you moved here and your Korean was getting better, but you still needed to learn a lot. Your friend Felix knew the struggle and tried to help you out, as well as Chan since they were able to talk English with you in case you didn't understand. You were a quick learner, but this was taking a toll on you, and you've found yourself frustrated very often. You look up as Minho strolls into the kitchen and grabs himself a drink from the fridge. You flash him a kind smile, and he gives you one back before coming over. The thing with Minho was that your Korean needed work, and his English did. You two always tried to communicate but had to focus really hard to do so. Chan and Felix both pushed you to learn from each other often, and you were starting to get along much better than in the beginning. 

"Are you studying?" he asks you, switching to English and you nod tiredly. He looks at you and squints his eyes for a moment. "I can help?" 

"Yes, please," you answer, and he nods relieved as you answer in his language. "I don't know how to pronounce that," you say and point at the line in question. 

Minho gets himself a chair and sits down next to you, reading through the page before humming softly. He reads it out loud for you, and you try to repeat it. He chuckles at your first attempt, and you smack his arm in protest. 

"Hey, that's not nice!" you laugh. 

He grins. "My mistake," he says with a very adorable accent that makes you smile involuntarily. He lets you repeat word for word and becomes very patient with you. You feel at ease now, listening to his soft voice making sense of your chaos. When Chan and Felix get back from the company and see you two sticking your heads together over your book, they exchange a knowing grin and give you some privacy. 

Three

Minho glances at you as you look down at your phone, seeming a little sad. He gently nudges your side and tilts his head at you. "Hey, you're okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm okay," you nod, but he's not convinced. "I just miss home sometimes, you know? I love it here, I do, my job is amazing, and I can spend time with you guys all the time…but sometimes I miss home." 

Minho nods understandingly; he knows how it can get. "What do you miss the most?" 

"Right now?" you ask, and he nods. "That might sound stupid but my mum's cooking." 

"That doesn't sound stupid at all," he assures you. "My mum lives an hour away, and still, I miss it all the time." 

You giggle softly and shake your head at him. "I can't cook for shit; otherwise I'd solve the problem that way." 

Minho frowns at you. "Hello? You have a foive star Michelin here," he says, imitating Felix's accent and deep voice. "Tell me what you want, and I'll figure it out." 

"You're being serious?" you ask amused, and he frowns at you, almost offended. You know he can cook, but you didn't expect that. "Wait, really?" 

"For someone as smart as you you're surprisingly dumb sometimes," he tells you with a kind smile and pats your head, like you've seen him doing it with his cats before. "Don't worry, kitten, I got you." 

You search his eyes, and your heart warms at the thought of him cooking for you. "Okay," you say gently and send him your mother's recipe. 

Minho reads through it before jumping up. "Huh, easy as cake," he grins. 

"As pie," you say. 

"What?" he asks, irritated. 

"As easy as pie, Min," you clarify, and he pulls a grimace. 

"Correcting me even when I'm doing you a favor," he scolds you fondly.

"Hey, you told me to," you giggle. 

Minho opens the fridge and waves you off, taking out some ingredients. He meets your eyes across the room and smirks. "Cooking like a chef." 

"Shut up."

Four

You curse quietly to yourself as you look outside and see the rain pouring down on the streets, thunder rumbling through the air. Of course, you forgot your damn umbrella today. You never did, and somehow you managed to do so the first time in ages you could actually use it. Once you're done handling all the things for the upcoming tour of your friends, you push yourself up and pack your things. You'd be soaked the minute you stepped outside. 

In the elevator, you once more check your bag but still can't find your umbrella. You give up sighing and walk towards the exit, frowning as you spot Minho. "What are you doing here?" 

"Hello to you too," he says and you fight back the urge to roll your eyes. 

"I thought you had dance practice," you tell him, confused. 

"Why would they need me?" he asks jokingly.

"You're the main dancer, genius," you snort. 

"Totally overrated," he waves you off. 

"Seriously, why are you here?" you ask, laughing. 

"Why? Would you prefer I'm somewhere else? Am I bothering you?" he asks, pouting. 

"What? No," you laugh and shake your head. 

"Sure sounds like it," he says before grinning. "When you came here, I promised Felix to take care of his friend. Since we all know you're made of sugar, I'm here to make sure you'll reach home in one piece." You blink at him, confused. "It's raining, and you'll simply dissolve, won't you?" 

"Idiot," you giggle. 

"Well, come on now, I have a dance practice to get back to. I'm the main dancer, after all," he tells you and earns a playful punch in the arm for it. Minho grins and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you against him as he opens the umbrella and steps outside with you. You smile at the feeling of his body next to yours as he makes sure you're not getting wet. 

"Thank you for picking me up," you tell him gently. 

"I saw you forgot your umbrella," he tells you and smiles softly. "You're too young to die, dear, I had to come and get you." 

"Will you stop?" you laugh and pinch his side, making him squeak in surprise. 

"Stop this, or I might reconsider," he jokingly threatens. 

"You'd abandon me just like that?" you ask, covering your mouth in fake shock. 

"You? Never," he winks at you, and you quickly look away, feeling yourself blush. Gosh, not again. 

"You're a real gentleman, thank you very much," you say sarcastically, and a genuine laugh falls from his lips. You can't help but laugh as well, loving the sound of his sweet, happy giggles. 

Five

You nervously fidget with your hands as you get closer to Minho's bedroom door. Only five minutes ago it had seemed like a fun idea to actually learn a dance of theirs for once as Felix had so often teased you about. You used to love dancing growing up but haven't done it in a while. Chan suggested that you ask Minho for help, after all, he was their main dancer. You've watched him work quite often by now, knowing his ways to make things simple for his friends. Somehow, the thought intimidated you a little because Minho was amazing at dancing. You could only embarrass yourself, right? You give yourself a push and gently knock on his door. 

Only a few seconds later, he's at the door, opening it and looking at you surprised. "Y/N? Do you need anything?" 

"Maybe?" you chuckle and awkwardly look at him, not knowing how to say it. 

Minho squints his eyes at you before taking your hand and pulling you into his room, closing the door again. "What did you do?" 

"What?" you ask, laughing nervously. 

"Did you break something? Did you mix colors doing the laundry again and ruin another of Changbin's expensive shirts?" he asks, and you start laughing at him. 

"No, Min, please," you giggle and search his eyes. "I wanted to ask you for a favor, actually." 

"Go on," he nods and leans against his desk, gently blowing a strand of his hair out of his face. 

"I've been joking with Felix and Chan about learning a dance of yours," you tell him, and he looks at you curiously. "Channie suggested I'd ask you for help." 

"Any particular reason for it?" he asks, interested. 

"Boredom?" you shrug, and he chuckles softly. "I used to dance when I was younger, but I haven't done it in ages, so…I could use some help." 

He smiles gently, unable to hide his excitement about you coming to ask him for help. "When do you want to start?" 

"Right now?" you ask before quickly shaking your head. "If you have time. If not, we don't have to and-."

"Of course, I have time for you," he tells you with a genuine smile that makes your heart flutter a little. 

Only shortly after you find yourself in the practice room with him, a little intimidated by the huge mirror wall in front of you. Minho follows your eyes and contorts his face. "I hate them too, once you know the dance they're simply distracting." 

You chuckle softly and watch him as he starts talking you through the steps. Following his instructions is easy, he simplifies everything for you with silly metaphors that make you laugh. At one point, you can't quite follow his movement anymore, and he steps behind you, gently taking your wrist. 

"Here, like this. Twist it gently against your head and twirl your fingers to a fist as you do," he tells you and moves his leg between yours. "A little further apart," he says before his hand lingers over your lower back and corrects your posture. Your breath hitches as his fingertips brush against your skin as he tucks a loose hairstrand behind your ear. "Try again," he says quietly, and you repeat the last few steps he has shown you. He tilts his head at you softly as he watches you with trained eyes. You're not quite sure why he's smiling to himself until he speaks up again. "Very well, Y/N, you'd fit right in." 

"Stop it," you say, blushing softly at his clearly impressed expression. 

"I mean it. You're better than you think you are," he tells you kindly. 

Six 

"Oh! And just down here, I used to go after school when I didn't want to go back home already," he tells you, pointing down the street. "I used to play games there all afternoon with my friends." 

"What about your homework?" you tease him. 

"Overrated," he rolls his eyes. "I did that hidden beneath the blanket with my flashlight later." 

You giggle at the thought of a small Minho hiding beneath his blanket and doing his homework in secret. "Such a good student, huh?" 

"I was okay," he shrugs and thinks for a moment. "You're hungry?" 

"A little, yes," you nod and giggle as his eyes brighten up. "Let me guess, you know a place." 

"Hey," he says softly and looks almost a little timid. "I thought you wanted to see the places I grew up around." 

You gently wrap your arms around him, standing next to him, and smirk at him. "I still do. I just think you're adorable." 

"I'm what now?" he asks offended but you see the blush rising in his cheeks. 

"You're adorable, Min," you tell him again, and he glances at you nervously. "I love how excited you get over small things sometimes." 

"Hey, I have a reputation," he mumbles, only half-heartedly protesting. 

"I know you better than that," you chuckle, and he squirms a little in your arms. "Lead the way, handsome." 

"Handsome?" he whispers, and his eyes widen. 

You giggle at him and poke his cheek lovingly. "Chan was right, you really suck at taking compliments," you say and let go of him.

"He didn't say that!" Minho protests loudly, and his eyes widen as you simply nod. "Chan hyung, you little -."

"Don't," you scold him, and he rolls his eyes. 

"He's not here, you know," he tells you. 

"And still, you call him hyung," you point out. 

"I'm being polite, some people were raised like that, you know?" he teases, and you stick your tongue out at him. "See? That's exactly what I mean." 

"So? Where to next?" you ask, and he points down another street. 

"Right there," he smiles and looks down as you take his hand. 

"Come on now, I'm hungry," you laugh at his puzzled look. 

"Right," he nods quickly and leads you down the street, loving how your hands fit together perfectly. 

Seven

Minho frowns softly as your name pops up on his screen. He grabs his phone and takes the call almost immediately. "What's up?" he asks. 

"Do you have time right now?" you ask shakily, and he sits up straight in his chair. 

"What's wrong?" he asks worriedly. 

"I'm just feeling sad," you tell him and sniffle softly. 

"Oh, dear, why's that?" he asks softly. 

"I miss home and I feel like I'm messing everything up lately. It's been raining for days, which only worsens my mood, and I'm having trouble sleeping," you explain quietly. 

Minho hums gently before frowning. "Chan's busy doing the live right now, and Felix is on some fashion event…but Chan should be done in twenty minutes. I'll tell him to call you and-." 

"Minho," you say, and he shuts up immediately. "I know they're busy."

"Yeah, right, you know our schedule better than we do," he giggles. 

"I wouldn't have called them if they weren't either," you say. 

"What?" he asks confused. 

"I wanted to talk to you and hear your voice, Min," you say timidly. 

His eyes widen at your confession, and he swallows hard. "Why me? They know you so much longer, and I'm sure they can help you out better." 

"I feel safe with you," you tell him, and he remains quiet for a very long moment. You start getting nervous, unsure if you've overstepped a line now. 

"I uhm, can I call you back? Something came up," he says, and you swallow hard. 

"Okay," you say quietly, but he has already ended the call. You anxiously put down your phone and stare out of the window. Had it been a mistake calling him for comfort? Did he feel like you were moving too fast in your friendship for that? 

Only twenty minutes later, Minho rings your doorbell repeatedly. You open the door and stare at him, surprised. "I brought some food, your favorite chocolate, and my mini projector to watch some movies. I also brought the blanket you always steal from me…which is kinda stupid since you have your own here," he says and frowns at himself at the last bit. "Will you let me in? I'm soaked and starting to feel a little cold," he whines. 

Only then you notice his wet hair and clothes, too focused on his soft eyes searching yours beforehand. "Why are you here?" you ask stunned as you let him inside. 

Minho looks at you in utter confusion and puts the things down on your kitchen table. "You said you were sad." 

"And that makes you risk getting sick?" you ask surprised, and hand him a towel for his hair. 

He quickly dries his hair a bit before putting the towel aside and tilting his head at you. "You said you feel safe with me…so why would I stay at home?" 

You stare at him before tears fill your eyes all over again. "I really don't deserve you," you press out, touched by his effort. 

Minho's face softens, and he pulls you into a warm hug. "You deserve only the best and so much more, beautiful," he says softly and smiles as you hold onto him tightly. He buries his face in your shoulder, smiling at the feeling of being needed. Needed by you. "I'm here now. You'll be okay," he promises, and you believe him. 

Eight 

You chuckle as Chan takes your hand and pulls you into the audience to get a good view of the stage. The rest of the kids follow you, and you all curiously wait for your friends to enter the stage. Felix told you it would be the first time they'd perform Taste live. You loved the song the moment you heard it for the first time and were really surprised by Minho's vocals as well. You giggle softly as Minho fools around with the audience before, opening his suit jacket and laughing at the supportive screams. "Such a tease," you say. 

Chan grins and hums softly. "Wouldn't expect any different," he nods, knowing damn well his friend only had eyes for you since he spotted you in the crowd. By now, everyone had picked up on the way you two gazed at each other, both thinking to be subtle. 

They start their performance, and you can't do anything else than stare at Minho. The suit fits him amazingly; the colors are complimenting his dark eyes and hair. His stage presence is undeniable, and you'd never get sick of watching him dance, doing what he loved. His beautiful angel voice rings in your ears, and suddenly, he's sinking to his knees, still singing effortlessly. You're making eye contact, and it hits you all over again how beautiful he is. Before you know it, he's on the floor, rolling his hips with his hand placed near his lap, and you can't deny the sparks shooting through your lower stomach. 

"Enjoying the view?" Chan teases you, and your eyes widen. 

"Huh?" you ask nervously and glance at him for a moment. "Felix being handsome is no news, Channie." 

"I wasn't talking about Felix," he chuckles and leans closer to you so you can hear him as the crowd goes wild. "I'm not talking about Hyunjin either." 

"Minho always looks good on stage," you say cautiously. 

"Only on stage?" he asks, and you turn to look at him. "I'm not blind, Y/N." 

You glance back on stage as Minho takes his ending position, panting softly and smirking succeedingly into the camera. "Would it be so bad if I liked him more than a friend?" you ask timidly. 

Chan gently wraps his arm around your shoulders. "Do you?" he asks, and all you can do is nod, swallowing hard at the confession. "I can tell you he'd love to hear that." 

"What?" you ask surprised. 

"Minho needs someone to show him how lovable he actually is. He'll never make the first move thinking you don't like him that way and too afraid to lose you," Chan tells you gently. "You have a very special place in his heart; he's just scared to show you." 

"Are you saying there's actually a chance he likes me back?" you ask quietly. 

"Not just a chance," he says before searching your eyes. "We have your back no matter what, and we'll always be there to support the two of you," he tells you and gently places his hands on your shoulders as Minho makes his way towards you. "You two deserve to be happy," he says softly and pushes you forward. 

You meet Minho's beautiful dark eyes and flash him a shy smile. "Hi."

"Hey," he smiles happily, eyes lightening up at the sight of you. 

"You looked beautiful up there," you say, and he blushes, smiling shyly.

"Yeah?" he asks sweetly. You've never called him beautiful before. 

"Can we talk?" you ask gently and reach out for his hand. 

Minho's face grows worried as he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers. "Is something wrong, kitten?" he asks. 

Gosh, you really loved this man. 

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[pjo-tvs-version]

In honor of Annabeth Chase's birthday, I have written another fanfic. This one is based on @helpallthenamesaretakensblog 's post. It's another Annabeth POV because I just liked writing those. The title is from Taylor's Out of the Woods. Happy Reading!! :)

Your necklace hanging from my neck, the night we couldn’t quite forget

“Plans?” Hazel asked. “Nico has until sunset—at best. And this entire city is supposedly getting destroyed today.” I know that as a daughter of Athena I couldn't give in to the pleasure of ignorance. To escape from the harsh reality we were in. But Hazel saying the obvious out loud was definitely not helping my nerves.

Percy shook himself out of his daze. “You’re right. Annabeth…did you zero in on that spot from your bronze map?” Panic rose in me. I willed my eyes to convey this one message in bold: Remember what I said, buddy. Keep that dream to yourself. I have to answer the question nonetheless so I try to give as little information as possible. “Yes,” I say carefully. “It’s on the Tiber River. I think I can find it, but I should—” 

“Take me along,” Percy finished. What was seriously wrong with him today? I had tried to cajole him by giving so many logical reasons about why exactly he shouldn't be there. But knowing his irritating, endearing and loyal nature, he wasn't going to learn to accept this point easily. As bothersome it was, a small part of my heart was fluttering with happiness at his immense concern for me. Even though the odds of me surviving were… No Annabeth I chide myself, you will not think about this. So I decide to of course use the classic stare that overcomes any problem.

 “Yeah, you’re right.” I replied sprinkled with a deathly glare. “That’s not—” “Safe,” he supplied. “One demigod walking through Rome alone. I’ll go with you as far as the Tiber. We can use that letter of introduction, hopefully meet the river god Tiberinus. Maybe he can give you some help or advice. Then you can go on alone from there.”  Percy was making this impossible. I was finding it inevitable to leave everyone on Argo II as I went on to my death solo quest, but parting from Percy was going to be the hardest.

We had a silent staring contest, but Percy didn’t back down. Staring contests were better ways of dealing with a disagreement then words. It was far more expressive and impactful. But Percy didn't back down. As sweet as he was, his stubborn nature wasn't all that pleasing at times. He was making it hard to say goodbye. He was endangering his life once again for me when it wasn't required because the odds of me surviving were in negative. But as I stared into his eyes, there was determination. The same one I saw 3 years ago in Mt. Saint Helens. The same look on his face before I kissed him. I felt my gaze flicker.

“Fine,” I muttered, accepting defeat. “Hazel, now that we’re in Rome, do you think you can pinpoint Nico’s location?” Hazel blinked, as if coming out of a trance from watching our glare competition. “Um…hopefully, if I get close enough. I’ll have to walk around the city. Frank, would you come with me?” I could practically see Frank beaming. “Absolutely.” “And, uh…Leo,” Hazel added. “It might be a good idea if you came along too. The fish-centaurs said we’d need your help with something mechanical.” “Yeah,” Leo said, “no problem.” Frank’s smile turned into something more like Chrysaor’s mask. I was pretty good at reading people’s emotions so I could always feel the tension among those three. Ever since they’d gotten knocked into the Atlantic, they hadn’t acted quite the same. It wasn’t just the two guys competing for Hazel. It was like the three of them were locked together, acting out some kind of murder mystery, but they hadn’t yet discovered which of them was the victim. 

Piper drew her knife and set it on the rail. “Jason and I can watch the ship for now. I’ll see what Katoptris can show me. But, Hazel, if you guys get a fix on Nico’s location, don’t go in there by yourselves. Come back and get us. It’ll take all of us to fight the giants.” I knew she wasn't stating the most obvious fact that we had no god on our side so this was kind of a one sided battle. As much I craved for victory, I couldn’t help but go through the never ending list of reasons why we were never winning this battle. Think positive Annabeth, a little optimism couldn’t hurt right?

“Good idea,” Percy said. “How about we plan to meet back here at…what?” “Three this afternoon?” Jason suggested. “That’s probably the latest we could rendezvous and still hope to fight the giants and save Nico. If something happens to change the plan, try to send an Iris message.” The others nodded in agreement, but I could feel their gaze fall on me. At once I felt guilty of not telling them the whole creepy truth. That I would die most probably from facing the ultimate fear of every Athena child. I would have to face Ar-. Let’s not think about it.

I would be on a different schedule. I might be back at three, or much later, or never. But I would do whatever I can to find the Athena Parthenos. Coach Hedge grunted. “That’ll give me time to eat the coconuts—I mean dig the coconuts out of our hull. Percy, Annabeth…I don’t like you two going off on your own. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.” Unwillingly, I felt myself flush. It was just one night of privacy in which we unfortunately just slept ( and had a few good kisses). However, the idea of getting grounded when we were about to risk their lives was so ridiculous, that I couldn’t help smiling. “We’ll be back soon,” Percy promised. I try to look at each of them and shake the dreadful feeling that this will be the last time I would see them together.

I headed down to my cabin to check and recheck my shoulder bag. Ambrosia, nectar, flashlight, matchboxes (it was something my father suggested), 2 bottles of water, a sandwich, drachmas and then came across a picture of me and Percy. It was a photo of us after we had started dating, one which Sally clicked. 

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. From the rhythm, I knew who the intruder/visitor was. “May I come in Wise Girl?” “ No you can’t” I reply, laced with sarcasm. The handle clicks open and I see Percy fidget more than usual with his hands. “I wanted to check on you” there was a pause and then, “wanted to make sure you were alright and ready for…” He didn’t complete his sentence. 

“Yeah, yeah I'm ready. I have checked, rechecked and checked again.” I replied. “You do remember to keep Ambrosia and Nectar right? And drachmas and first aid and-” “Yeah Seaweed Brain! Chill.” He was so concerned and anxious that I felt bad for him. But he needed to understand that he had to let go as there was no option B. If he went then Arch- no I would call her a Web-Weaving Wannabe. So if he went with me, she would most probably use him as bait and make my emotions go haywire and then I would make mistakes, fail to save Greece, fail to save the world-“Okay cool. So are you ready to go? The others are about to leave.” Percy says, interrupting my thoughts. “Yeah, let's go” I replied. 

“Before that I wanted to give you something.” Percy adds with a note of jitteriness. His fidgeting had increased. So of course my anxiety being directly proportional started going overboard too. He reached behind his neck, for his camp necklace. It puzzled me. Why is he taking off his camp necklace? And then it came crashing on me. 5 years ago, the duel on the beach with Ares, the good old days where their chances of dying were lesser. Percy was giving his necklace to me? As I was going to my death battle the same way Percy did 5 years ago? He was doing the same thing I did. 

A wave of euphoria washed over me. My heart felt like it could burst with happiness. He really was such a Seaweed Brain.  My cute Seaweed Brain who couldn't stand seeing anyone in trouble. He took a few steps forward and I could see the matching blush on his cheeks. He tied it around my neck and I couldn’t help but beam. “Wear this, for good luck. It saved my life when I dueled with Ares and everything after that too. I know it’ll help you too. "he said as he finished the knot. He then held my hand a little tighter than usual. I couldn't help but hug him fiercely. 

I took in his inky mess of hair, the sadness in his sea green eyes which mirrored the stormy sea, the smile that played on his lips for a moment and  then dissolved like a wave on the shore. I couldn’t help but lean for a kiss. A kiss that lingered, a desperate attempt to hold onto what was slipping away. A goodbye kiss, laced with unspoken tears. A heartbreaking kiss, a silent plea for a different ending. “I’ll make it out. You’ll be alright.” I try to reassure him. He doesn't reply but everything he wanted to say was there in his eyes.

____________________________________________

As, me and Percy climbed down the cliff, I concentrated on the challenges at hand: keeping my footing, avoiding rockslides that would alert the Empousai to their presence and of course making sure we didn’t plummet to our deaths. About halfway down the precipice, I got breathless. My legs were wobbling badly,  my ankle screaming in protest with each step.

Tartarus was sapping my non-existent strength left. ‘Stop, okay? Just a quick break.’ Percy looked beyond worried. I felt so guilty about burdening him even more. We sat together on a ledge next to a roaring fiery waterfall. The splinters were shooting, threatening to burn us, the sulphurous was becoming suffocating with each breath. My ankle was beyond pain. A wave of nausea washed over me as the cramping pain intensified.

Percy put his arm around me, and I couldn’t help but lean against him, shaking from exhaustion. A hug like a warm blanket, safe and secure. It was a comforting embrace that melted all my worries even if it was for a few seconds. I pulled away from the momentary solace to get a look at him.

He wasn’t much better. He buried his face in my chest, his dark curls cascading down his arms in a curtain of pain. He fell into this dreadful place because of me. To save me, to not leave me alone. We would find a way out of Tartarus. We had to. 

Subconsciously my fingers traced a red coral necklace, the one Percy gave me. At once I felt Percy’s camp necklace. I removed my other hand with which I was holding Percy close. As I undid the knot, Percy looked at my slightly puzzled and there pain etched on his pain even as he tried to hide it. As I started to try my necklace around his neck, he stopped me. “Keep it, you need to make it out of here.” 

“WE need to make it out of here, especially you! So let’s do one thing since we both need good luck, let me give you mine.”  I looped the necklace over his head and let it rest against his skin. 

His lips were parched and his skin felt warm against mine. The firewater was churning in my stomach. “Promise that we’ll have each other's backs. We’ll make it out.” Percy declared with determination. I couldn’t help a melancholic smile. “I pinky promise. That’s the more solemn vow there is.” I add. A short, bitter laugh escapes his lips before our lips meet. My hands were in his jet black hair and our eyelids shut tight to shield us from the awful surroundings. We will make it out of here, I try to tell myself. Even if I don’t Percy will and there is no option B.

Also on AO3 here

So that's it! Hope you all liked it. As always, positive criticism is highly appreciated. Thank you Help for the lovely head cannon. Also there is this one line in the from the movie Wonka which Willy tells Noodle. Let's see if you can find it 👀

[lesbiancolumbo]

Okay I'm really glad you said it bc I just watched the premiere and did not care for it but could not for the life of me pinpoint exactly why. There's a lot of aspects to the show I enjoy but as a collective whole it's always left me cold and it bugs the crap out of me trying to parse out why it's not landing for me. (But to your point, sometimes things just aren't for us, I guess!)

okay, you asked for it.

i think for me, it's that the first season offers a promise of something that it seems to have no interest, actually, in delivering on. back when it was still a first season independently made show that no one had any idea if people would give a shit about, it seemed (to ME at least) to be about this band of people in the wake of profound loss and the trauma that came from that loss coming together and building something beautiful together, becoming a family. and then the show blew up, got a bunch of money and attention and prestige, and season two turned into "cool look at all the things we can do! see! we're filming in copenhagen for no reason! we have an episode with like seven extremely famous people in it! we're showing off all these famous restaurants! take us seriously!" while severely sidelining characters that i fell in love with in season one, and for what? we spend so little time with these characters actually building the beautiful thing we left the last season hoping for. instead we get these one-off episodes with characters, which are... fine, i guess? fun. but it feels like showing off a blank check versus actually BUILDING on what season one sets up.

honestly, i'm really disappointed that the show's narrative keeps trying to push this restaurant into highbrow fine dining spaces, when for me the most magical parts of season one was when they were just fucking cooking food for people -- NORMAL PEOPLE -- and the people were loving it. the bear wants to critique the world of fine dining, but it's way too fucking in love with fine dining to actually do this in any meaningful way, because it's still fucking aping those aesthetics and putting chefs like daniel boulud in the show just to say it can. hey look, it's eleven madison park! hey look, this is the french laundry! hey look, this is noma! like. i fucking GET IT, chris.

what bothered me most about the premiere was the moment joel's fine dining chef says to carmy "you know that from now on, this will be my dish right?" in an antagonizing moment -- this is ripped off DIRECTLY from an episode of chef's table (it's ironic that the bear is ripping off this show now considering the menu did just that a few years back and i dinged them for that too lol) where grant achatz explains that his sous chefs test their creativity while working under him, he encourages them and trusts them and coaxes their talent out of them, and it's ironic because at the end of the day.... it becomes one of HIS signature dishes, and he would always ask them this for permission before going ahead. the bear doesn't understand that this question isn't meant to be an antagonizing thing that underlies the exploitation of fine dining spaces. these things run rampant there, yes, but when grant said that quote, it was a sign of how much he trusts and works hard for his team, and they give him the same in return. that the bear bastardizes this moment really pissed me the fuck off -- this show wants to romanticize and simultaneously critique fine dining, but this moment and so many others like it leave me wondering if it even actually understands fine dining at all, actually.

[kanmom51]

So I have this cousin who is a BTS army and also homophobic. She hates every gay romantic ship that ever exist in between BTS. She always watch the real content. Every Run BTS, Bon Voyage, Weverse Live etc. When we're tghter we sometimes talk about ship and everytime she express her disdain towards taekookers. She is aware about culties manipulated behavior. She always speak up towards those culties and I kinda admire that. Once we're having this ship talking and she said something that kinda shook me. She said 'I hate Jikook more than taekook'

And I was furious but can't say anything to her cause she doesn't know that I support gay relationship. My family is a strict religious family so it's prohibited you know. So I said why 'you hate their interaction'

Her answer is like this ' There's something between them that I can't pinpoint. It seems like they don't have any boundaries. I can tell even with my eyes closed taekook isn't real not even million years. I always find their interaction cute, brotherly or friendly . But about Jikook I'm not sure what to say. Jm always acted different when he is with Jk and so do Jk. Every member flirt with each other but Jm and Jk when they do that it makes me uncomfortable. Their flirting is suggestive not brotherly at all.' Then she also point out which bestie gift you a private journey then make a video out of it. Then there's ear sucking. Who the hell even do that. 'Comfort my best friend by sucking his ear' even straight couple don't do that.' And she is even more mad when Jm went NYC and didn't post anything, kept it private.

'Why he didn't post anything like he did with other member'

She also told me not to talk about Jm and Jk interaction 😆😆😆

She even went ia after Jk's recent live where he flirt with Jm. She said she need time to think

I hope she come around and support them😭😭😭

@toknowmebetter hi,

I'm actually glad you sent me this ask.

Just goes to show you exactly why big chunks of this fandom are just ignoring Jikook.

It's not about their hate of shipping. Some of them hate the shipping, like your cousin, who sees how demented TKKs are, JK and Tae's bond is friendship and how pushing a queer relationship on them is pure shit.

But, with Jikook it's not the shipping they can't deal with (many claim it is, but that's way easier than admitting otherwise).

With Jikook it's Jikook - JK and JM and what is between them - they just cannot deal with.

These two men are just too much for them to handle. They are too real, as in "this is not a friendship we are seeing here...this is an actual queer relationship...nope, not dealing with that..."

Their bond, their relationship, their flirting, their everything are just too much in their faces.

So they don't want to hear about the ship, but they mainly don't want to hear or see Jikook together. And when Jikook are Jikooking, they are playing the avoidance game.

Her comment about JM's trip to NY, that one caught me a little off guard. Even that. JM travelling to NY and staying private about it, has them off balance. Because once again, it's so damn obvious that JM was there for JK and JK alone, and what they had was theirs and private and just MORE than a bandmate going to support another bandmate. Even that, by now, is obvious to your cousin, and I can only assume many other army.

You know, those that we have been saying for years now that simply choose to ignore JM and JK, their bond, their connection, their chemistry, their love.

This here, is exactly why their friendship isn't even mentioned. Because people have eyes and brains and see that it's sooooo much more than just a strong friendship.

So they ignore.

They don't talk about them.

They don't celebrate JM going to support JK for his solo debut in NY but they celebrate Tae going on stage at Inkigayo.

They talk about JK's lives without mentioning the Jikookery.

They take JK's words and twist them just so they don't have anything to do with JM. And then when he mentions another member it's a full blown party.

They cannot avoid JK mirroring JM's Face concept in his Seven photoshoot, so they either joke about it (JK's lazy stylists) or name call JK (thief, lazy etc.), everything but saying it's intentional and meaningful.

Your cousin there, she's (?) not any different than a big part of this fandom. And yes, it's homophobia driven. And all about the denial.

"If we don't see it or talk about it, then it's not there".

So, when Jikookers say that most of army are TKKs, I don't really agree with that. Yes, there are a lot of TKKs out there. But I think it's less about them being TKKs and more about them unwilling to deal with the fact that 2 members of their favourite band are actually a queer couple. Much of this is homophobia driven, some of it is fear. Of what it actually means for 2 out of 7 to be romantically involved.

And then, for these fans, it's easier to celebrate TKK interactions because they are safe, friendly, NOT QUEER. While Jikook are all but just friendly, and that, to that part of the fandom is like:

[cryptic-bee]

This interaction with Sera gave me Thoughts and I'm subjecting you all to them smile

Didn't edit this much because I'm eepy and just wanted to get The Thoughts out quickly-

Lizzie and Jimmy have a chat in the After-Void

(pspsps you can now read Lizzie's POV here!!)

•

He's brought to a familiar sight, that vast emptiness after death, and normally he would scream at this point. Normally he would scream at the invisible eyes watching him, or he'd stomp out his frustration like an angry toddler, or he'd wail about his sorrows, but eventually he'd fall into a numbing silence. A silent embrace with the curse that haunted him. Normally, he would.

Because normally, he was the first one out.

But this time, he wasn't.

So when he's brought here, to this place he had screamed obscenities at till his voice was gone and lost Void knows how many tears into, he smiles. Jimmy smiles, then he laughs, and he jumps around and for the first time the feathers hanging from his back don't feel like heavy reminders of his downfall, so he let's them flap around behind him as he celebrates and he's not the first one out. He had done it! The curse was broken it wasn't, he hadn't died first, he-

He lets out a scream when someone coughs behind him.

Because he wasn't the first one out, which should have made the other presence obvious to him.

"Congrats!" She smiles, something that does little to mask the wave of emotions she'd been struck with. There's a fire burning in her eyes that gives her away. "You did it. Congratulations, Jimmy."

There's something familiar about it, about being the only two left in a world only they were a part of. A hand instinctually raises to his neck, expecting to feel the edge of gills, only to be met with tiny golden feathers.

"Lizzie-" His voice cracks, he clears his throat. Why was he tearing up? "I wasn't- I didn't mean to-"

"To what, gloat?" Lizzie laughs, but it's not his sister's her laugh. She waves him off. Her heart still burns for a revenge she'll never have. "I'd have done the same. I mean- 4 seasons? You should be celebrating!"

There's an awkward silence between them, thick and suffocating and suddenly he doesn't feel like celebrating anymore.

"I didn't-" He didn't what? He wasn't the one to kill her. (He was, then he couldn't be bothered to show up when she needed him).

But Lizzie, observant as ever, just took his hand - pulling it away from where he'd been digging his nails into the side of his neck. "It's okay, Jimmy. You made it. That's all that matters now, right?"

I didn't mean to lose you again, he wanted to say. And he's not sure why he wants to say that, because that life is foggy to him and he can't exactly pinpoint why he's acting like this and he just wants his sister back please. So instead he just nods, gently squeezing her hand.

"I didn't mean to make you a Red," He settles on.

Lizzie tilts her head, a small laugh. "How many times are you going to apologize for that?" And she knows, she knows that's not what he meant, but she'll let him believe whatever he needs to. "I already told you it was just a silly mist-"

"I missed you."

She pauses, and the fire no longer burns. She smiles, soft and loving and the same one she once had while making up bedtime stories for him, and pulls him down into a hug. It's hard to navigate, now that her little brother has wings instead of fins, but she manages.

A new presence enters as they pull away, stumbling till he trips to the invisible floor and shouting something about a...fence post? He stops, cuts himself off upon realizing where he was, and looks to the other two players. It stays silent for an uncomfortable amount of minutes.

"..we're really bad at this, aren't we?"

[synthetickitsune]

Hwiyoung (SF9) | Sharing a bed for the first time & “Can we talk? What are we? What are we doing?” fluff | 0.8k

You’ve promised each other it wouldn’t be awkward. Why should it be, after all? You’ve seen each other at your lowest points, you’ve helped each other through them, so why should spending a night on the same bed be a big deal? It shouldn’t, that’s right. Honestly, it's a wonder that this is a first - something you tell yourself to prompt excitement to push down the anxiety.

Because despite your long years of friendship, something feels different. It's been like that for weeks now. You can't pinpoint exactly when it started, but at some point something in the air changed. Suddenly when Youngkyun got close, there was tension that wasn’t there before, the air felt charged with electricity that made you both laugh awkwardly as you put distance between you.

Avoidance is not a solution, though. And as much as you could rely on him to tell you if he felt uncomfortable, this seems to make him feel as conflicted, although pleasantly, as it makes you, and therefore you suppose you’ll have to address things first. But how are you supposed to tell your best friend that you fell for him, suddenly and without a warning? Again, why is it a big deal if you’re pretty sure he feels the same way? It’s all stupid, and yet…

Getting under the covers is awkward despite the promise. Youngkyun seems to feel out of place in his own bed. In the darkness, you can see him stealing glances at you while looking all around his room as if it’s his first time sleeping there.

“Hey,” you call softly as you turn to lay on your side, facing him. So does he, his eyes finally settling on your form. “Everything alright? I can take the couch.”

“No way,” he shakes his head. You both know the disastrous effect his couch has on one’s back and the agony felt in the morning. “I’m fine. This is just new.”

You agree. But even so, it doesn’t feel bad at all.

“It’s just us,” you remind him quietly. He nods. You lay quietly and watch each other. It’s not exactly new. You’ve done plenty of staring and caught him in the act more times than you could count too. It’s different now, though, like so many other things. 

You take the risk and shuffle just an inch closer. He doesn’t move away, nor does he flinch when you slowly place a hand on his cheek. As so many times before, he relaxes under your touch and closes his eyes just for a second.

When he opens them, he looks more nervous than before. Yet he covers your hand with his to keep it there. His fingers stroke yours, coaxing you to relax as he’s trying to. It’s not long before he reaches out, brushing his hand on your cheek. The tips of his fingers trace your face slowly, carefully. You don’t dare break eye contact. You need to show him, somehow, that you trust him and that this is alright. 

Soon you mimic his actions, caressing his face and letting your fingers commit his features into your memory. Not just how he looks, but how his soft skin feels, the little imperfections he hides exposed. 

“Can we talk?” he asks, and as much as you hate this particular question, it’s hard to feel nervous with the way he’s looking at you, “What are we? What are we doing?”

You feel like it’s for the best if you don’t overthink the answer too much, so you don’t.

“We’re doing what feels right,” you whisper and search for any sign of disagreement on his face but all you find is relief, “I like it.”

“I like it too.”

The reassurance comes a little too quickly, smiles tugging at your lips. Your hand slides down to his jaw. Your thumb brushes against his lips and you feel his breath hitch. It’s his turn to follow your lead, adjusting the position of his hand to perfectly mirror yours. Words are impossible when it’s hard to breathe.

“What time is it?” he asks suddenly, and as confused as you are, you trust him. 

“I don’t know, why?”

“It must be around midnight, but…” he takes a breath and hesitates. So you move closer, hoping that the minimum of space between you will reassure him. It seems to work, to provide him with enough confidence to move his hand from your face to your waist. He pulls you closer when you, silently, give him the okay.

“If this is going where I hope it’s going,” he says, voice dropping lower until you can barely hear, “I want to know the exact date.”

You can barely hear yourself laugh over the beating of your heart.

“Why not just check the time then, hm?” you tease, suddenly so overcome by your fondness for him you might just kiss him now. He’s faster, his concern forgotten for the time being.

The feeling of his lips on yours is much better than you imagined, reality for the first time beats the fantasy.

[shortpplfedup]

Ah yes, the messiness of teenagers just trying to navigate life, this is the good stuff I wanted to see. The theme this week is 'love' and we see Neung, Palm, Ben, Chopper and Maggie all taking tentative-to-bold steps toward the objects of their respective affections, with varying levels of success. Not an adult to be seen this week, it's all emotions and flirting and yearning and longing and kissing and jealousy, a delicious feelings stew. We're moving out of act 1 into act 2 of the story now. All the characters and the conflicts are established, and all the unknowns are obvious.

Neung and Ben are kissing and flirting, but Palm is still the one Neung's thinking of sitting in the bath. I can see that Neung is trying to 'love the one you're with', because as much as he can't stop thinking about Palm, he's pretty sure he can't have him. Ben is someone he can have, someone who will treat him like a living, breathing human with needs and desires and foibles and not a doll to be kept in a glass case on a shelf for fear it breaks. Ben is possible. Ben is simple. And yet...Palm's glances and touches linger a bit too long, Palm leans in to talk a bit too close, Palm goes cold with him after he kisses Ben. But Palm won't say it, won't ask for it, and Neung doesn't know how to get past that wall...

...because how does he compete with this? Maggie is bright and pretty and nice and determined and most importantly she's a girl, and if that's what Palm likes there's no point letting his heart get entangled.

Palm however...

Well let's just say this isn't the face of a man who is interested in what's on offer. 'Maggie's nice to me so I'm nice to her' he tells Neung, thinking that he's politely and clearly saying he's not interested in her. But to Neung that's as clear as mud. Because Maggie gets Palm's smiles and attention and all he gets is Khun Neung khrap. Palm both wants and doesn't want Neung to see how he feels about him. Sometimes he can't help himself, so a lingering touch of his hand, a stolen glance at his lips...he'll allow himself that much and no more. He doesn't even allow himself jealousy, as much as he is burning with it when he sees Ben kiss Neung. 'I don't have a right to be mad at you' he tells him, and there are so many LAYERS to that statement.

But Neung is sure as shit mad with Palm, and fuelled with enough liquid courage, he decides it's time to let him know it. Neung's little drunken tirade was UGLY, it was cruel, it was demeaning, and it was designed to hit every single sore spot Palm possesses. Neung wanted to make Palm lose it, to make him show that Neung affects him like he affects Neung. The more Palm tried to calm things, the more he refused to fight back, the meaner and crueler the things coming out of Neung's mouth. Because he might have Ben, but Palm is who he truly wants, and he doesn't know how to bridge the divide between them, so he chooses violence.

On an opposite corner of the pentagon, I wish I could make GIF's because watching Chopper's heart break in real time was a masterstroke of subtle acting by Perth. You can pinpoint the exact moment it sinks in that Ben likes his cousin, and what that means for his own feelings for Ben. You get the sense that Chopper is painfully aware of having missed his own chance to confess. His entreaty to Ben to express himself before it's too late is tinged with regret, with an understanding of what it means to let someone you love slip away because you're scared to say it. And there is a moment where it's pretty clear that Ben understands exactly what Chopper is saying and why he's saying it to him.

In the end, Ben takes Chopper's advice, and that's why he's the only one who gets what he wants. Closed mouths don't get fed, and Ben was the only person in this mess of a love pentagon to open his and say what he felt. I still don't know what to make of Ben, he still feels very much like he's hiding things, but from the preview that may be because he has an overbearing and homophobic dad, and no more nefarious reason. All in all, I'm loving the way this triangle (pentagon) is being written and acted by all involved, and I'm ready to see what the hell happens next.

Stray Bullets

I feel like Palm's 2 week suspension was completely brushed past, I might have liked a montage or something there to underline the passage of time.

Phum is not going to take what happened lying down, and the fact that he didn't show up once after the beginning of the ep has me anxious.

Chanon not going to the school wasn't surprising, but the lack of adults in this ep means we don't even know if he's aware of what happened. I assume he noticed that Palm isn't with Neung on the school run, but it feels like Chanon would be the type to berate Palm about embarrassing him and being ungrateful to Thanya. It feels like something is missing.

Neung's little loom over Ben at the dance party was kinda hot, NGL.

This doesn't feel like an act break so much as an act shift, but the story feels like it's about to move into a different gear somehow.

[autumnsup]

An Autograph's Tale

Or How My Obsession with Ewan McGregor Evolved and then Resolved Itself

(Be warned, this is not a short post. It does however contain a photo of possible interest toward the end).

The first thing you should know is that I am not really an autograph person. I’ve encountered a fair amount of people who might be considered celebrities, mostly after theater performances and at art events, but I can count on one hand the number of people whose autograph I actually sought. The main one being, of course, Ewan McGregor’s.

I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint the moment my obsession began. It was my first year of high school, and while I’d been crushing on boys left and right, I’d never had an honest-to-goodness movie star crush. That changed after I saw Moulin Rouge! in the theater, with one of my best friends. She managed to score a promotional poster for me afterward, and throughout the rest of high school and into college, I would keep the poster of Ewan pinned to my bedroom door.

My feelings about him were a bit complicated. I didn’t have sexual feelings, exactly, because he was older than me and shared a birthday with a relative. I would dream about him occasionally, but the context was usually theater, or performance, and not anything that might be interpreted as “real life.” I would kiss the poster occasionally, more out of curiosity than lust, and I listened to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack CD on repeat while I was studying, memorizing all of the lyrics and teaching them to my other friend who was equally obsessed with the music. I didn’t think Ewan had the greatest voice, but he was so earnest, so joyful, and so broken-hearted and raw by the end, that I couldn’t help but empathize with him and his character’s plight.

I suppose this primed me for the next level of obsession, which was triggered by the discovery of Velvet Goldmine. A relative had told me about the movie, and since I knew I already liked Ewan, I gave it a watch, and immediately felt a sense of Oh, these are my people. Just how much I identified with some of them, I wouldn’t realize for a while yet. I also didn’t realize right away that the movie and its characters were only loosely based on what had actually happened during the glam rock era, and I would assume that Brian Slade was in fact meant to be an accurate representation of David Bowie for an embarrassingly long time. I also didn’t realize how much of a patchwork quilt the soundtrack was, although I would love it to death and memorize many of the lyrics like I did with Moulin Rouge before (which was even more of a patchwork job, ironically enough).

In the meantime, Ewan’s career began to take off with the continued Star Wars franchise, which I had been watching since I was a middle-schooler. I wasn’t a huge fan of the movies, but once I’d started to obsess over Ewan, I watched them with renewed interest, until the day I happened to be in New York City during the one of the premieres. I can’t remember which one it was (maybe the third movie?) or which theater the premiere was being held at (Google? I don’t know it). But what I do remember was the incredible flood of excitement and adrenaline I felt at the thought that my chance to see Ewan in person and get his autograph was at hand.

It wasn’t the first time I’d tried. At some point (again, I’m very spotty on the timeline), I’d drawn a small portrait of Ewan and mailed it to a US address I’d found somewhere on the internet, asking for his autograph on a photo I’d torn from a magazine. I never heard back from his agent, and had contented myself with watching and collecting his earlier movies and various memorabilia like the Velvet Goldmine script. Which was why the thought of actually getting to meet him in person came as such a thrill when it seemed like a possibility.

Because I was a teenager with very little money saved up, there was no way in hell I could buy a ticket to attend the premiere, so I made it my mission to show up outside the theater as early as possible. The weather was overcast but not miserable, and I had fun watching all sorts of cosplaying fans arrive while the event staff set up the red carpet and barriers on the street side to keep passersby at bay. They didn’t block off the other side of the red carpet though, which I thought was rather strange, but I parked myself there so I could be among the first row of people to see the actors entering the theater.

Finally, the procession began, up a red carpet now surrounded by a sea of people and Storm Troopers. The first actor I recognized was Liam Neeson, dressed in a white suit. I was a fan of his too, after having seen Love Actually, and when he came our way to sign a few autographs, I almost died.

I didn’t ask him for one, preferring to let others take the lead while I furiously snapped photos with my camera, most of which turned out terribly once I'd finally developed them (yes, this was before digital cameras and cell phones with lenses were a widespread thing). From a distance, I could see Samuel L. Jackson strolling down the red carpet, plus a few other younger actors who followed Liam’s lead in approaching fans to offer autographs, but alas, no Ewan.

I would find out later that he’d attended an overseas premiere instead, which was disappointing but made sense, given that he was from Scotland and his wife was French and they had young children. To assuage the disappointment, I went to the Museum of Television & Radio and binge-watched Lipstick On Your Collar, which was very hard to find at the time. And that was that, I thought.

Sophomore year of college, I made the impromptu decision to study abroad in France. There were many reasons behind the decision, one of them being a crush I’d developed on a female classmate who was also studying abroad that year, but that’s neither here nor there. What ended up happening was that while I was living with a host family in France, I took it upon myself to write to Ewan again, this time through his agent’s office in London.

I kept it simple this time – no hand-drawn portraits, no glitter stickers, no magazine pages or anything besides a single sheet of paper and a heartfelt message, and of course a self-stamped self-addressed envelope. I wrote it, partially in French to acknowledge his wife and daughters, sent it, and forgot about it for most of the school year.

Until the day that my envelope returned in the post, and inside, much to my surprise and delight, was this:

It was a simple gesture, and while it didn’t come with the thrills and prestige I’d hoped to experience a few years earlier, it warmed my heart. Ewan is no longer my main man, so to speak, but I will always remember that breathless moment in France with a smile. 🤩

(Tagging some fellow VG fans here, but if anyone else has a celebrity autograph or crush story to tell, I'd love to hear it!)

@moonage-xx-daydream @silverfactory @mangle-my-mind

[lemme-just-oops]

Helloo can i request the arcana boys x mc with glasses? 🥺

Alpheratz: He keeps forgetting that you have glasses. Seriously. If you come to him without them, he will notice that you seem different, but he cannot exactly pinpoint what is different. Considers so many other physical things, like your hair, weight and confidence, BUT NOT YOUR GLASSES. Are you even ready foe the amount of: "Since when do you have glasses?" questions, NO YOU ARE NOT.

Arcturus: When he asks if he can put on your glasses, he did not expect the blurry-ness. What he expected may forever be a mystery, but to move on from the awkwardness, he gives you a fun fact about his grandma's reading glasses. They were swallowed by a sheep once. And do not worry, he will remind you to have regular checks on your eyes, to see if it gets worse. And if you do not like calling for appointments, he will do it for you.

Pollux: He has glasses that he keeps to look cool. Always wanted to meet someone who gives him a "partner look" for this. At one point, when you put your glasses down to swim or sleep, he borrowed them. He forgot that he put them on. Neither of you could find your glasses. Sirius watched you two curiously, and told anyone else to not show you where the glasses are.

Sirius: The two of you have strange eyes, just in different ways, he reminds you quite a lot. But because of your glasses, everyone now seems to believe that his eyes changing colors is due to contact lenses. They are not. Likes to take your glasses away when he wants your attention. It gives him an excuse to briefly touch you, but also bother you.

Spica: Whether you have fashion or not will now be revealed. Because the shape of your glasses must fit on your face. If it does not, he will not be upset but you may notice that he spends little time looking at your eyes when talking to you. But he has everything you'd ever need with him. There's so few people with glasses in his life, but they keep losing theirs, so he has copies of glasses in near him at all times. Also glass-cleaners and cases to put them in. In summer, he has a pair of sunglasses for you, in case you forget yours.

Vega: He looks at your glasses and mentions that you would not need them anymore, if you let a doctor heal your eyes. What you do with this information is up to you, but he thought no one else would mention it. And he was right. Before you make your decision though, he lets you know that your glasses are quite adorable and hopes you stay the way you are. But if there is even a small stain on them, he cannot concentrate on a conversation. It needs to be gone.

[fixated-frenzy]

How Gilmore Girls Ruined Rory

Gilmore Girls started strong. The Palladinos did a phenomenal job at creating a group of characters so unique that anyone could relate to some part of the show. The town of Stars Hollow creates the idea that there could be such loyalty and magic in a small town. Richard and Emily Gilmore are presented more as antagonists, yet you still get to see glimpses of their morals, understandings, and emotions. In Gilmore Girls, you get the full story for every character. From main characters such as Lorelai and Rory to less involved side characters such as Babette and Ms. Patty. The show truly is a masterpiece.....until about the end of season four.

Any Gilmore Girls fan knows exactly how season four ends and how much Rory's character down-spiraled afterwards. Now I don't think her sleeping with Dean was the sole reason for her downfall, but I do believe it was a contributing factor in dumb decisions to come.

For three seasons, we get to see Rory work her butt off at Chilton so she can make her way to Ivy League. We watch as she goes from being told she doesn't have what it takes to make it at Chilton to becoming the valedictorian of her high school class. From the beginning, we see the ambition and passion in Rory, but by the end of season three, she is actively using her drive to reach her full potential.

Rory carries her ambition into college, but as we watch her make countless mistakes, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay on team Rory. She becomes distracted and disorganized, significantly losing so much of what makes her character special. In season four it was clear that she was having trouble being away from home, which I think played a part in her decision to sleep with Dean. She was looking for something familiar, but once she latched on, she couldn't let go. She stayed with Dean for half of season five until things finally ended between them for good. At this point, Logan had come into her life, which brought many blessings and curses.

Logan was the first real connection she made to life outside of Stars Hollow. Even as she went through her first year at Yale, Rory was still so attached to home that she became closed off from life at Yale. Logan brought her out of her shell and got her to explore life outside of the safety net of Stars Hollow. However, Rory was not fully prepared for the freedom she discovered.

The end of season five was hard to watch. Although Mitchem was horrible to Rory and she had every reason to be upset, stealing a yacht was definitely not the right way to handle the situation. However, Rory dropping out of Yale was a much dumber way to deal with it. Criticism is a part of life and there are going to be times when people are completely wrong about their criticism. Rory's response to Mitchem's comments was incredibly immature and she should have never let him slow her down. The Rory I fell in love with, high school Rory, never would have given up over one person's opinion.

Once Rory came back to Yale (thank you, Jess), she worked her way back on track for the most part. She stuck with Logan until the end of season seven before rejecting his proposal, which was another dumb decision. Rory could get overconfident, and I think it hurt her ability to make more rational choices. It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when Rory's voice of reason changed, but once it did, her character was never the same.

I think her persona change happened gradually throughout seasons five and six. She was always going back to Stars Hollow, which made sense especially for the show, but for a girl who claimed to want to travel the world as a journalist, she wasn't making great strides to do it. As Logan got her out of her comfort zone, she became her new, unrecognizable self. While I do think Logan was great for her, he could have been better about letting her be herself.

There is a lot to love about Gilmore Girls, but Rory's down-spiral will always be disappointing. In the end of A Year in the Life, Rory hasn't even done anything interesting. The writers built her up as this amazing girl who was bound for greatness, but ended up destroying everything to love about Rory's character.

[wingsyliveblogs]

so far who would you say is your favorite charcter 9 be it major supporting side background ect )

Oof. Both of these are pretty tricky questions to answer, and it's not exactly getting any easier as I progress through the show, but I'll do my best!

(Incidentally, I answered both questions some time ago, and my original answers can be found in this post. That said, my thoughts are bound to change over time, so it seems only appropriate for me to give new answers for questions like these every now and then!)

1. Obviously it's gotta be Steve.

Okay, for a more serious answer... it's hard to say? There are a few different factors that make it tricky to pinpoint a single character who’s my absolute favourite, and I feel as though my thoughts change practically every episode. 

And I feel it’s important to clarify that this is actually really unusual for me! With most media I get into, it’s pretty easy for me to point at one specific character and go “yeah, that one’s my fave”. It could be that I’m getting an in-depth look at all of the characters that I wouldn’t normally have, or maybe that the characters and the character dynamics in this show just happen to appeal to me specifically. Probably both! Either way, it makes a question like this a bit more difficult to answer than it might otherwise be. 

So, let’s see. Just taking into consideration which characters I’m most excited to see again, I’d say my favourite character at the moment is probably Lilith? I can’t exactly explain why, though - I guess I just think she’s an interesting character and I want to know more about her?? (And of course, her dynamic with Eda is wonderful in every way.) 

Naturally, Amity remains another favourite character of mine, and I doubt that’s likely to change anytime soon. She’s just so much fun!

Beyond this, it kind of depends on the episode. When it comes to major characters, I often find myself getting particularly invested in whoever’s the focus of the episode. This tends to happen especially with Eda and King, because I love characters who are bad at emotions and they have that in spades, but overall, it can apply to pretty much anyone! For example, right now I’m feeling a lot of love for King, but who knows what’ll happen when I watch the next episode..?

And then, I always enjoy it when Principal Bump makes an appearance, so there’s that too.

...so yeah, I’m not sure if this answered your question at all, but that’s what I’ve got right now! 

2. Hmmmmm. This one’s tricky. I’m not even sure I can really give it a proper answer? There are so many good episodes, and it’s really hard to compare them. I guess, instead of trying to figure out which episodes I like the most, I’ll go with which episodes I felt I enjoyed liveblogging the whole way through the most? And I think that would be episodes 5, 9, and 11. 

But the thing is, there are a lot of episodes that I enjoyed nearly as much as these three anyway! They’re “favourites” by a very narrow margin. This is why I prefer not to do episode rankings, because it’s nearly impossible to settle on a single answer that I can’t second-guess myself on. Even choosing favourites is hard! 

Plus, this is a completely different question from, say, asking me which scenes I’ve enjoyed most in the show. If I had to answer that one, one of them would definitely be Luz figuring out the ice spell in Episode 12, and another’s got to be her talk with Amity in Episode 5, and then there’s the ending scene from Episode 2.........

[sinsofthefather-kulemi]

Casting! My Thought Process (and the horrors!)

For the most part, everyone's voice was pretty much already set before casting came up. I mostly knew who I wanted for the boys. I knew the tone and register I was going for for the girls. However, once it came time to pull the trigger, things became... complicated.

Arika (CV: Yoko Hikasa)

When I casted Arika, I was so thrilled to find out that the seiyuu that I chose also voiced one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite shows. I was actually already sold on the actress because of an anime called Summertime Rendering (I've never seen it- just clips). Her voice there sounds very much like what I have in mind for end of book one, headed toward book three and beyond Arika. Rich still but, with a sort of apathetic flatness that she's unfortunately resulted to speaking with over time. However, Yoko Hikasa's voice when playing Utahime in Jujutsu Kaisen was always very pleasant to me. It's not pinpoint, exactly what I had in mind, as she speaks with an airiness that Arika (in my mind) does not use but the register is still pretty spot on.

I like writing deep voiced women. I like deep voiced women. I am a person with a deep voice myself. But, it was not easy casting this character (and her mother whom she inherits her deep voice from) because so much of the Japanese media that I've seen personally tends to cast higher pitched voiced actresses. So, I didn't have references to go off of like I did for the boys and when I did, the voices were too deep- to the point of not fitting her at all. I think I'm pretty satisfied with this choice now though. I believe I made the right decision.

Hiroshi (CV: Kazuhiko Inoue)

I originally wanted someone like Tsudaken (Kenjiro Tsuda, funny- I have a Ken already) but I thought that Tsudaken might've been a bit too... sexy for Hiro. I imagine Hiro's voice is fairly attractive but Tsudaken's voice kinda oozes a sex appeal that Hiro does not deserve kjsahds. I don't know how many other people think of voices in the same way that I do but I think voices are just as important as the character's physical design. I don't want Hiro to come off as sexy just by opening his mouth... If you know Tsudaken, he gives that- no matter how ridiculous he is. I know what Hiro is like, and I matched that with that voice and I worried I had a monster on my hands! Soooo, I recast.

I went with Kazuhiko Inoue because, sure, his voice is reasonably attractive. It's deep, smooth and you can somewhat hear that he's a mature man when he speaks. But he sounds harmless! Until he's not- I wanted him to have the voice of a man you'd never expect to be.. Like That. Do you know what I mean? Now, am I concerned over the fact that Mr. Inoue played That Character? You bet your sweet ass I am- but I'm trying to avoid eye contact with the camera~!

Edna (CV: Sayaka Kinoshita)

Just as I mentioned with Arika, I knew that I wanted her to have a rich, deep voice. Sultry to a degree. She's described as having one of those voices that can be maternal to one ear but downright sensual to another. It's not with intention- That's just how it is. So, I had my work cut out for me because again, I didn't have a roster of names to choose from based on experience. Voices like that weren't typically main characters in the things that I watched, if anything, they were one-offs and I feel like a fool now for not making note of them! This has taught me a valuable lesson though and moving forward, I absolutely will. It will become easier as I expand the types of stuff I watch as well, I hope.

This beautiful, sweet, sweet lady gave me quite possibly the most hell out of my entire cast of characters! The seiyuu I'd originally casted her as was Romi Park. Sound familiar? It should- Think hard. I'll give you a hint, Yakuza 5. And since Edna is who she is to Majima I decided that that was just a little too close for comfort. So, I went back to the drawing board. Then, I found another voice: Atsuko Tanaka. Overwhelmingly sensual, mature but natural- you wouldn't even notice that you'd been swept off your feet until you were in the air. Then, I realized that sentiment felt quite familiar but I paid it no mind. Until, I'd gone to collect voice clips and got triggered by the word "tanjōbi"... Tanjōbi...Wikipedia...Kiwami--Reina.... I love you Edna but why must we do this?

Eventually, I found Sayaka Kinoshita by some random stroke of luck. Her resume was quite short- Perfect, no more YKZ jumpscares.

Kenjiro (CV: Hosoya Yoshimasa)

With Kenny-san, I had a mini roster of potential CVs. When I first went into his design, he wasn't meant to be handsome. He was really supposed to be your average, everyday Taro to be quite honest. Plain-faced, swagless little weasel of a Yes Man. And then... he ceased to be that. He just blossomed into what we know him as today and when I heard his lines, his voice changed from something desperate for Hiro's approval and starving to be seen to something confident, relaxed and almost arrogant- but falsely so. His physical design changed very soon after too. By the end I had an, 'Oh nooo, he's hot!' moment and that's when the voices started coming to me.

Junichi Suwabe was once at the tippity top of that list- I'd be lying if I said that that wasn't personal bias. But again, there was another issue of; is this voice Too Attractive? Distractingly so? I landed on: Yes. I was torn between Hosoya Yoshimasa and Shunsuke Takeuchi- in truth, when Shunsuke isn't using that loud, gravely voice, I think they sound eerily similar, which is perhaps why I was having such a difficult time choosing between them. In the end, I have no history with Shunsuke Takeuchi and a deep attachment to Hosoyan. So, I went with him. I hope I can live with that decision...

[theworstanonymousblog]

To the worst anonymous blogger

Before we get into the letter, I think I should give you some context on my life. This is a letter to my future self (who is hopefully doing better than I am right now). I've been doing a lot of thinking, which is just so out of character so I thought I should write about it. Now we can get into the letter...

 To the future version of myself, 

    Hi. How are you? I hope everything is going well in your life. I think I need to say how I feel because a lot has been weighing on me. Recently, I've just been thinking about everything. Like usually when there's silence in my everyday life, I listen to music or watch a show, but now I've just been sitting in the silence and thinking. I can't exactly pinpoint what what I'm thinking about, because it's not just one thing. 

    --- I actually eventually narrowed down what I'm thinking to two main points.

Also usually when I'm thinking, I'm daydreaming about the life that you have, but I haven't been doing that as much recently. Instead, I've mostly just been thinking about my life so far, and doing some self-reflection. This past week has been difficult because I've been more homesick than ever. I really don't want to be at college right now. It has nothing to do with the people or the classes - because both of those things are going great now - but it just feels like every day is a battle inside myself. I've though about asking my parents to come pick me up so many times but I haven't because it feels weak. I know that's not actually the truth, but my whole life I wanted to go to a college out-of-state. If I can't even make it an hour and a half away from home for two months at a time, then how was I ever going to make it to a college that was actually far away. And how am I going to make it when I live alone in hopefully a new state after college? So I guess that by forcing myself to stay here, it's a way of me proving to myself that I can be on my own, but it's not as easy as I thought it would be for myself. I also don't want to go home because I don't want my parents worrying about me more than they already are. I feel like I've gotten to a good point in my relationship with my parents recently, but I still don't tell them everything (mostly for Mom's sake because I think she would have a heart attack if I told her some of my stories). So yeah, basically that's why I've been feeling homesick, I think. 

    Also, something that's been weighing on my mind recently is boys. It sounds so stupid, but here I am writing my fucking feelings down. I guess we're just at that level of desperation now. It all started with a boy - let's call him MB. The one that got away (but I never even had him in the first place). 

    --- MB is a whole story that maybe I will write another blog post about someday, but today is not that day. 

I don't know what about him, but he just had some hold over me that made me into an obsessive fangirl. Thinking back on it, I hate the way I literally GLORIFIED him, but he was literally just a boy. He was perfect in my imagination, but I barely even knew him in real life. Anyways, I don't really know why I brought him up - oh, wait. He actually just posted on Instagram today (the nerve), so maybe that's why he's at the forefront of my mind. He got a buzzcut btw. Like he literally couldn't be any more my type!!! Ughhhh, we're backtracking. Ok, now back to the present moment. Boys. The actual story starts on Friday night. Me and like eight other girls were out downtown celebrating our friend Izzy's birthday. Things were a little awkward at first because it was a strange group of people. But as the night went on things became more fun. While we were in line for the most mid freshman bar, we met two boys. One of them immediately started talking to Izzy - good for her, it was her birthday after all. The other one was talking to the rest of us and just being a good wingman for his friend. We walk to other bars and the two boys follow us around everywhere - it's obvious that the one guy is really into Izzy. The other guy starts talking to one of the girls, Sarah. And if you've ever been in a group with guys and girls, then you know whenever there's an uneven number of guys to girls, things get awkward and someone always gets their feelings hurt. Usually, I'm not the kind of girl to get upset about these things. I've prided myself my whole life on being the independent girl who's never needed a boy to feel happy or complete or even to have a good time. And don't get me wrong, I still am that person. That Friday night, I was sad about not being "picked" for maybe half a second, and then I continued to dance like nobody's business on the 9d's dance floor. At the time, just being a girl at a bar was enough for me, but since that night, it's been weighing more heavily on me. Why am I never the girl that gets picked? Is there fundamentally something about me that a guy sees and thinks no? I know in my brain that these are silly questions and that the right guy will love everything about me and all that bullshit, but it's hard until you find that guy. Even later that night when two other guys came up to talk to me, I felt the other "rejections" more than I appreciated the other guys right in front of my face. And even when they were talking to me, all I wanted to do was dance, so what does that mean? I think I maybe just want a dance or karaoke partner? Did I just identify my dream man? Anyways, back to the two other guys. I'm not going to say they were creeps - because they weren't. But they were definitely of legal drinking age and gave me odd (predatory) vibes. So that led me to think -do I scare off normal guys so that the only ones left are weird? I actually have never seen myself white-girl dance so maybe it's my dancing that scares the normies off. But on a more serious note, what about me gives off the vibe that allows weird people to come up and talk to me? These are important questions, because if I'm attracting weirdos, then I might need to buy those drink lid covers. 

    So yeah, I think that's mostly what's been on my mind - homesickness and boys. 

Love, the current version of myself 

[curmoritor]

@unorn asked: arke was back to old antics, roaming around the moving bus (well advised against; she understood). sitting around too long made her antsy which is why she cycled throughout each sinner, peaking in and seeing whatever they had been doing. most shot her off in dismissal, earning the click of her tongue.

when it was owen's turn though, she came behind the seat next to him, peering over at the cards that had been turning over on the little pull-out table he was using. she opt'd to watching for now, head tilting in minor confusion. she knew it was a card game (quite obviously as seen by the cards) but pinpointing the specific was beyond her. she was never one for the games but it used to be … a commodity amongst her former offices.

"hey, owie, whats' this all 'bout? can ya show me how it works?" there was always opportunity to learn. "you're flipping the cards onto each other…. is that the entire game?"

❛ I've told you to stop calling me that and to mind your own business. ❜

It's even more annoying that she decided to do it now while the bus was moving, so you couldn't easily push her off without getting annoyingly scolded... Despite everyone else has already pushed her off. Why did she always have to end up in the back, sitting beside you? Couldn't anyone else just "take one for the team" and entertain her annoying curiosity? You weren't exactly in the mood to do so. Yet you don't push her off either because you want to focus on your game. It's not as if it's something you can just pick back up at any point... so long as someone doesn't mess with it, that is.

Yet, she wants to know what it is? What person out there doesn't know what solitaire is? Is she just stupid? You almost wonder if she is just messing with you until you spare her a glance and she seems rather genuine in her curiosity which only annoys you more. You don't want to explain the game to her! You learned it while you were living in the backstreets as something to do to pass your free time... The cards are even handmade by you because you had your pack of cards stolen from you so many times.

❛ Solitaire. How do you not know what that is? I knew you were dumb, but I didn't think you were that clueless~ ❜ It's normal for you to be mean to everyone on the bus since you were always so guarded, so your reaction is expected. Yet you pick up one of the cards from the deck as you examine it and then examine the cards you already have laying out before placing it down. ❛ It's simple so keep up, okay~? You have to place the cards down on inverting colors in a certain order. Yet you are also trying to place them all back with their respective colors and shapes at the top in these four piles... Hearts and Diamons are red, Clubs and Clovers are black~ You have to place them in the order from Ace all the way to King~ Yet, on the playing field down here... you place them from King down to ace in the inverting color pattern I said before. ❜

You think that's simple enough. You didn't bother to explain most of the other things because you don't want too. Like not explaining that there are upside down cards in some of the rows to add to the difficulty and that the deck can be recycled to possibly get cards that were buried early on but are useful now.

❛ It's a game that requires a lot of thought~ So stop bothering me. ❜