#i will delete these tags later probably hehe

[zoieru]

a v e n o i e

she fell first x he fell harder ﾉ begrudgingly (on my end) intrigued strangers to lovers~ ﾉ mutual reluctant pining ﾉ ace of hearts x ace of spades ﾉ wants too little x has too much ﾉ expressive x scared of vulnerability ﾉ small things x grand things ﾉ wounded soul x wounded soul ﾉ terrified but only you understand me

dappled sunlight ﾉ found solace ﾉ iridescence ﾉ lingering kisses ﾉ cold fingertips ﾉ melodic giggles and eye rolls ﾉ safe space ﾉ held after a nightmare ﾉ eyelashes fluttering on cheeks ﾉ tears on neck ﾉ nuzzles into soft skin ﾉ messy healing

ficlet by beloved coco

tag - #avenoie ⊹⁺⟡

[hollypies]

What if I posted some ugly ass comic wips. What then

(No dialog yet I just havnt added it. I do have dialog tho)

Anyway please be real nicies I've only ever drawn a comic ONCE

[joshujin]

dude, nice try!

teaser • series masterlist • part one ▶

joshua hong has had the immense privilege of living 30 whole years without ever feeling so much as an ounce of jealousy. that is, until you come prancing into his picture-perfect life on your dumb burner account with evidence that his long-time girlfriend is cheating on him… with your boyfriend.

as he gets tangled in your chaotic plan to get back at your adulterous partners, he begins to wonder if this growing discomfort in his chest was ever even heartbreak to begin with, or if it’s something entirely new to him—something that has the ability to eat him alive from the inside out.

♫ get him back! olivia rodrigo ⟡ hot girl bummer blackbear ⟡ lackin’ denise julia ⟡ is this love xg ⟡ why can’t i? liz phair pairing: joshua x fem!reader cw: strong language, mentions of/implied sexual activity tags: strangers to partners-in-crime to partners-PERIOD, joshua pov, pining, he fell first AND harder hehe, a few smau bits but mostly writing, no smut, inspired by get him back! by miss rodrigo, basically john tucker must die except joshua is sophia bush hehe iykyk a/n: this was a request for jealous!shua and i’m laughing bc i started responding to this anon and said i was going to just answer with bullet points bc if i didn’t, this would turn into a whole thing. and here we are anyway… with a whole thing lol. i know he doesn't seem super jealous here, but consider the joshua x jealous arc a slow burn haha. anyway, enjoy this teaser!

dividers by cafekitsune! cover by yours truly!

joshua's phone pings, and it’s one message from you, just a little over 24 hours since your last message went ignored.

he glances down and feels his stomach turn.

i have evidence.

an hour later, joshua and jeonghan are sprawled across the latter’s living room. when they’d seen your message, both of them had quickly and wordlessly vacated the cafe they were holed up in, gotten to jeonghan’s apartment frighteningly fast, and rifled through the series of messages you sent—all of them photos you took of your boyfriend’s phone screen.

at first, joshua was just annoyed at how hard snapchat made it to read messages; most of the ones sent by whoever your boyfriend was were deleted. he was ready to wave you off and call your “evidence” a reach. but then, he got to more damning photos—photos he was vexed jeonghan got to see too.

because they just proved his know-it-all best friend right. mina was a fucking snake.

he’s shocked at the lengths they went to to be able to communicate with each other without being caught.

but perhaps the most damning piece of evidence of them all comes last: a photo of a woman’s naked back as she laid on her side in a bed—that wasn’t joshua’s or mina’s—away from the camera. it could’ve been anyone. the small tattoo at the base of her neck told joshua exactly who it was.

“so what now?” jeonghan asks, both of them still starfished on the floor and staring at the ceiling after spending several minutes furiously swiping and cussing at his screen. “let’s fill all her shampoo bottles with hair remover,” he answers his own question before joshua can even open his mouth. “oh! or we can follow her around, inevitably find this dude, and kidnap him! i’m sure this y/n person will appreciate that too!”

joshua doesn’t bother entertaining his best friend with a proper response, choosing to ignore the suggestions altogether. his mind is racing a mile a minute, trying to find the point in his relationship mina might have started straying away. has it been happening the entire time? or did she recently decide joshua wasn’t fulfilling her needs to her liking?

“… his car and it’ll probably break down and explode at some point later that week?”

he frowns, realizing jeonghan has been suggesting ridiculous things they can do to mina and your boyfriend the entire time he was contemplating his relationship. it’s his first time getting cheated on, but he isn’t surprised at his best friend’s reaction to it. he’s more surprised when silence blankets over them for several long seconds before jeonghan asks:

“are you okay?” he sighs. “i know that’s a dumb question to ask. you’re obviously not going to be okay after finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.”

his frown deepens at that. it’s a fair statement. he always imagined this kind of thing would throw him into some kind of jealous rage—emotions he’s not really familiar with. rage like yours.

he wonders if he had been the one to find out about this, would he have had a meltdown the way you did? make a burner account and find you to tell you the way you did? try to find someone to commiserate with—even if it’s a stranger—the way you did?

no, probably not. he was telling the truth when he told you that all he would do is break up with mina.

and he’s incredibly confused to find that, contrary to what jeonghan is saying, he feels very okay with that. he can’t really imagine caring enough to do anything more, and he doesn’t know why. shouldn’t he care more?

if you and jeonghan were wrong about him loving mina the way he was so convinced you were, why didn’t he care more?

“joshua,” jeonghan reaches over and pokes his shoulder. “speak. you’re scaring me.”

he snorts. “i’m fine.”

“okay…” he responds slowly. “so still in shock?”

“no, i really think i’m fine,” joshua says, shaking his head at the ceiling. “i feel… normal. i guess just confused about when and why she decided to cheat.”

“you did nothing wrong. she’s just a conniving, slutty ingrate who doesn’t know that she’s throwing away the most decent man in the universe,” he assures him. “which brings me back to my initial question. what should we do now to punish said conniving, slutty ingrate?”

joshua sighs. “we’re not doing anything. i am breaking up with her as soon as she gets off work.”

jeonghan perks up, rolling over onto his stomach and crawling to him until his head appears in his line of vision. his best friend has a shit-eating smile on his face that makes him instinctively roll his eyes.

“can i be there?”

he knows he should say no. it’s an absurd request and it shouldn’t even take joshua more than a second to answer. but as he thinks about it, jeonghan continuing to smile at him like a little devil on his shoulder, he thinks it might be nice to have him there and shame mina for cheating in a way he knows he doesn’t really care to do himself.

he shrugs. “sure, why not?”

jeonghan squeals with delight, scrambling to get up. “come on, we have to make sure you look smoking hot so it hurts her twice as bad. you can borrow my leather pants.”

“leather?!” joshua repeats. “it’s the middle of summer!”

joshua texted mina to let her know he wanted to talk to her after work and he would be dropping by. she told him several times that tonight wasn’t a great time and insisted they wait until tomorrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit about her convenience, so here he is, with jeonghan practically vibrating with excitement at his side, standing outside her apartment building.

“i still think you should’ve worn the leather pants,” his best friend says, “but you look killer. she’s gonna shit herself.”

joshua recoils at the idea but thanks him anyway.

“ready?”

he sighs. “yeah, i guess. ready as i’ll—oof!”

he stumbles a few steps and right into jeonghan as someone violently shoves him, continuing to push and slap at both him and his best friend until they’re several steps away from the entrance to mina’s apartment.

“what the—”

“and what the hell are you doing here?!” a female voice shrieks.

he wants to yell at this stranger for putting her hands on him. he wants to tell her to have some manners and to get away from him. at the very least, he wants to glare at her until she shrivels up in shame and scurries away. but all ideas of even attempting to do any of that die as soon as he lays eyes on the stranger.

your instagram photos don’t really do you justice. your photos were well-taken and curated perfectly for your profile, but now that you were—for some weird reason—standing in front of joshua and jeonghan, he can confidently call your photos dirty liars. he can’t blame them, though. he has a feeling no camera in the world can capture how pretty you actually are in real life.

prettier than anyone i’ve ever dated, his intrusive thoughts remind him. prettier than mina.

“well?!” you screech when neither of them answer you, making them both flinch. you don’t notice your effect on them, though, because you’re busy frantically looking between them and the entrance of the building like you’re scared the three of you will be seen.

he knows jeonghan is thinking the same, exact thing he is because he is never rendered silent.

“i—uh,” joshua stammers for what he thinks might be the very first time in his life. “we…”

jeonghan glances at him, face twisted in amused confusion before he schools his expression and points his signature stunning smile at you. “you’re y/n! hi!”

“who the hell are you?” you turn back to them, cross your arms, and practically bark at him.

his best friend’s laugh is exaggerated and several decibels louder than it has any business being. it grates joshua’s nerves. he glares at him but jeonghan pays him no attention. “i like her,” he mutters to him before saying, “i’m jeonghan.”

“okay, jeonghan,” you spit his name like venom, obviously unimpressed, making him giggle.

joshua rolls his eyes at him and his increasing giddiness. his best friend doesn’t date often, but he shouldn’t be surprised that he enjoys this kind of vitriol. jeonghan is, at his core, attracted to the same chaos he himself is made of.

“what are you doing here?” you ask again, raising an eyebrow at joshua to make it clear you’re talking to him.

“i’m… here to break up,” he answers weakly. “with mina! i’m here to break up with… mina.”

he doesn’t know what’s come over him, but being confronted by you in person and unnervingly close in his vicinity has him forgetting how to properly communicate. the thought of blocking you was a lot easier when he had no idea if you were a real person. now, he feels like there’s no escaping you.

“what are you doing here?” jeonghan asks the question he forgets to return to you.

you ignore him, eyes staying trained on joshua as you speak, and something about you pretending like his best friend doesn’t exist forces him to fight down a smile.

“you’re not breaking up with her today,” you order him confidently, like you know saying it is enough for joshua to agree. if the way his palms start to sweat are any indication, you might be right. “she’s up there with siwoo.”

“who’s—”

“my boyfriend,” you answer before jeonghan can finish his question. “i followed him here when he told me he was getting drinks with coworkers.”

joshua’s stomach flips. he’s not really sure how anyone can even think about another person in your presence, let alone cheat on you. maybe your intensity scares siwoo, though. it definitely kind of scares him.

“you mean… they’re up there right now… and they’re probably…” jeonghan’s sentence trails off, but you’re you and you don’t shy away from finishing it.

“fucking?” you ask with a biting and sarcastic enthusiasm. “yeah, jeonghan! probably!”

joshua winces. your fury was already palpable via DMs, but it’s near suffocating in person. it grabs him by the neck and shoves his face back into the dilemma he was quietly contemplating back at jeonghan’s apartment: why isn’t he sharing the same anger? why isn't he doubled over, throwing up at the idea of mina having sex with someone up in her apartment at this very moment?

“are you hungry?” you ask joshua.

“what?” he asks dumbly.

“are. you. hungry?” you repeat, irritation laced in your voice.

“i am!” jeonghan announces.

you give him a blank stare before looking back at joshua. when he fails to say anything, you sigh, your temper appearing to deflate infinitesimally.

“they’re going to be a while,” you inform him like you’ve done this before. “there’s a fried chicken shop i like nearby.” okay, so you’ve definitely done this before. “we can eat and… talk, i guess.”

“we would love to talk. right, joshua?” jeonghan asks, pinching his side with more force than necessary. he fights to keep from jumping.

"sure," he finally agrees. "i could eat."

"thanks for ignoring me amidst my weekend-long menty b, by the way," you say sarcastically as you set down a pitcher of beer and three glasses next to the tray of friend chicken on the table.

"ment—?"

"mental breakdown," jeonghan whispers to him as he reaches to pluck a piece of fried chicken from the tray.

instead of depositing it on his own plate, he stretches across the table to put it on yours. joshua's eyes involuntarily narrow at the gesture. he doesn't realize he's glaring at his best friend until he speaks again.

"what?" he pouts at him but his eyes glint with mischief. "ladies first."

"thanks," you murmur, not-at-all sounding thankful. jeonghan snorts. "well? explain your rude behavior." he looks back over to you to find you sulking. you add more chicken to your plate even though you haven't touched the one jeonghan gave you.

"ah." joshua shakes his head. "i was just... not all the way convinced."

"and now?"

"now what?"

"i take it you're all the way convinced?" you clarify as you tear into your first piece of chicken like you haven't eaten in years. with a full mouth, you add: "i mean, i assume you are if you're here to break up with your girlfriend."

"uh... yeah..." he nods slowly, distracted.

joshua is often described by his friends as a gentleman—elegant even. with the exception of jeonghan and mingyu—the two people who know him best—he is always polite and accommodating. he's careful that his clothes are always pressed and lint-free. he always has good posture, and he does his best to remember his table etiquette, especially in the presence of elders. he tries to be buttoned up and put-together almost all of the time, sometimes even to his own detriment.

so staring at you, wiping soy garlic sauce off your mouth with the back of your hand and talking with your pieces of chewed up chicken tucked into one, puffy cheek, he should absolutely feel repulsed.

he frowns at you and knows it probably looks like he is repulsed by you. but really, he's just confused about why you look so endearing sitting there, eating like it pains you to while taking turns glaring at your drumstick and glaring at him and his best friend.

"hello?" you wave your saucy fingers in front of joshua's face. "is he always this... spacey?" you ask jeonghan without taking your eyes off him.

"i'm glad you asked! no," the man next to him answers—also through cheeks full of chicken. "i've actually never seen him this nerv—"

"sorry, what were you saying?" joshua interjects before everyone at this table, including him, has to face the fact that yes, he is very much nervous and he's unsure why.

you sigh as you wipe your fingers on a napkin. "what is it about me that men's eyes just begin to glaze over as soon as my mouth opens?" you complain, the signature rage joshua has come to expect from you in the one hour he's known you bubbling back to the surface.

his eyes widen in horror at the thought of you mistaking his fascination with disinterest. "oh! i didn't—no, i'm not—i—"

"what joshua is trying and failing miserably to say," jeonghan cuts in, sneaking him a look that screams get it together, "is that no one here is ignoring you. he's just... trying to process all of this. after all, you had all weekend to think about this, and he just realized you were telling the truth, what? two hours ago?"

you stare at jeonghan with the same unimpressed expression you’ve been forcing on him since you met him. after a moment, your gaze travels to joshua, and he gives you a meek smile. you finally hum in understanding.

“sorry, i know i’m projecting. i’m just all…” you wave your hand wildly near your temple to mimic a muddled brain. “siwoo has done a number on me.”

joshua finally gains enough composure to string a sentence together. “i’m sorry i ignored your messages… and blocked your burner account.” you cringe at that but nod an acceptance of his apology. “and i’m sorry i’m not fully present right now. jeonghan’s right.”

kind of. not really. he was processing your existence more than he was processing being cheated on, to be frank.

“i’m just… trying to understand what’s happening, i guess. for what it’s worth, i find it really unbelievable that anyone would ever cheat on you.”

he ignores the way jeonghan inhales deeply and slowly through his nose. only joshua would be able to tell it’s the equivalent of him scream-giggling and kicking his feet when he’s trying to be discreet.

your eyebrows rise like you’re shocked joshua is capable of more than grunts and one-word replies.

“ditto,” you say plainly. joshua can’t help the immediate laugh that escapes his mouth at that, and he’s pleased when you smile for the first time since you met. “mina seems dumb. and not just because she and siwoo are ruining my life. you’re very handsome. and if you blocking me on instagram so fast was any indication, you seem very loyal too.”

you say it easily, as if giving out compliments like that is no big deal to you. maybe it isn’t, but even if that’s true, he’s going to appreciate it nonetheless.

unfortunately, that appreciation manifests in a fierce blush joshua feels spreading across his face like wildfire, much to his mortification. he doesn’t remember the last time he blushed like a pathetic schoolboy with a crush. it was probably when he was an actual pathetic schoolboy with a crush.

he clears his throat, choosing to ignore the compliment. “yeah, i guess we have the same, bad taste in dummies.”

you suddenly groan, throw your head back, and blink rapidly at the ceiling like you're trying your best not to cry. both men glance at each other and fidget awkwardly at the abrupt change of mood, neither of them being great at handling a crying woman. joshua has little to no experience with it and jeonghan tends to fall back on ill-timed jokes during times of distress.

"i followed him here months ago," you tell them unprompted. “i followed him here so many times because he was always so fucking sketchy. but his lie always involved ‘one of the guys,’ so i just thought his friend lived in that building.”

“and you found out this weekend…?” jeonghan asks carefully. joshua rubs the back of his neck nervously.

you nod, squeezing your eyes shut briefly before bringing your line of sight back to them. your eyes are glassy but your efforts to keep from crying were mostly successful.

“he lent me his laptop because mine stopped working,” you explain, rolling your eyes like having a broken laptop on top of all this is almost enough to send you over the edge. “his texts are connected on there too. i was at a cafe with a friend, and one of those verification texts came through. i ignored it but a few seconds later, it messaged again and i saw that he’d replied on his phone.”

“he told her it was safe to text,” joshua says, remembering the photos you sent.

“yeah…” you breathe, hugging yourself tightly and rubbing your arms as you try to self-soothe. “and i just sat there in front of my friends, watching him make plans with her in real time… brainstorm the lies they agreed to tell us… and i just had to pretend to be normal or else i would’ve burned that cafe to the ground.”

jeonghan coughs as he chokes on his chicken a little. joshua pats him on the back absentmindedly, eyes never leaving you, even as his best friend stretches across him, still coughing, to pour everyone a glass of beer. you sniffle as you accept your glass with a small nod, your body visibly relaxing after the first sip. he tries not to gawk when you finish the entire glass in one go.

joshua thinks this is probably what someone in love should look like when their heart has been broken: drunk and sad. now that the initial shock of seeing you in person has worn off, he can see how tired you really look. there are dark, bruising circles under your eyes, visible even under your makeup, and your hair looks like it was haphazardly put up into a ponytail to avoid having to wash or brush it. your eyes are tinged pink, a little swollen, and dull, like you’ve been crying all weekend. you have been crying all weekend.

and joshua? he’s asking himself why he hasn’t felt the urge to cry at all yet because right now, he could be the poster child for soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend who is going to be okay has been okay, is okay, and will always be okay. aside from his irritation with mina and her insane audacity, today is like any other day.

he’s never had his heart broken before this, but maybe it’s just different for guys. he read somewhere that men’s emotional intelligence develops a lot slower than women’s; maybe he just hasn’t reached a level of maturity you have.

“anyway,” you say as you stifle a tiny burp that makes jeonghan giggle for the nth time tonight, “i’m going to ruin his life.”

okay, so maybe maturity is the wrong word.

“wh…” joshua glances at jeonghan for confirmation he heard correctly.

his best friend’s eyes are lit up with excitement as he leans forward with impossibly even more interest in what the pretty lady across the table has to say. joshua would slap him if they were alone. what for, he doesn’t know, but he would.

“sorry, what was that?” he asks, trying not to sound judgmental at the risk of setting your anger off again.

“she’s going to ruin his life,” jeonghan answers for you giddily. “what are you going to do? i told joshua he should fill mina’s shampoo bottle with hair remover.”

that earns the two men another smile from you, but this time joshua finds himself annoyed it was because of something jeonghan said.

“oh my god, that’s vile,” you say even though you’re grinning and obviously love the idea. “maybe i’ll add that as a little cherry on top for siwoo.”

“oh, he’ll be so ugly,” jeonghan claims like he’s already daydreaming about it.

“you don’t even know what he looks like,” joshua murmurs.

“i don’t need to,” he responds, smiling as he stares off into the distance. “a stupid motherfucker who can cheat on our lovely y/n here like that has to look like ass.”

you roll your eyes at the compliment but your cheeks turn a cute shade of pink anyway.

“well, making him bald will look like child’s play when i’m done with him,” you match jeonghan’s dreamy tone, and joshua feels a chill of fear from having the two of you at the same table crawl up his spine. why was he a magnet for agents of chaos?

“is that why you haven’t broken up?” he asks. “you’re scheming to ruin his life?”

you frown. “what makes you think we haven’t broken up?”

joshua shrugs. “maybe the fact that you followed him here and then shoved me and my best friend into next week to keep us from attracting any attention?”

jeonghan snickers and your cheeks turn a darker shade.

“ah, right.” you nod once. “sorry about that.” you don’t look sorry at all and joshua finds himself thinking it’s amusing. “i suppose that was a bit… rude.”

joshua hums like he’s contemplating your apology but he knows it’s clear he’s fighting a smile as he brings his beer to his lips.

you sigh. “anyway, yes. that’s why i’m still with him. he doesn’t even know i know. i’m trying to get my ducks in a row and figure out the most devastating way to leave him.”

jeonghan smirks. “my kind of girl.”

joshua’s foot finds his best friend’s and stomps on it as hard as he can without thinking twice about it. it almost shocks him—how much it felt like instinct—but after the day he’s had, he thinks he’s entitled to a bit of a tantrum. maybe this is how he is when his heart is broken. a little mean.

“ow, what the fu—”

“so what’s the plan?” joshua asks loudly when your eyes snap up to jeonghan mid-sip over the glass of your beer.

you lick your lips clean of foam before setting the glass down, and joshua forces himself to look away when he notices how plump and pink they are.

“well, to be honest… i haven’t been the smartest,” you admit, seeming timid for the first time since you barged into his DMs. it’s an odd look on you. “i—um. i kind of rely on him… financially.”

the explanation comes tumbling past your lips after that like you’re afraid the two of them are going to judge you if you allow even a second of silence to pass.

“i had a job! i had a great job! but siwoo’s a bit traditional, and he comes from a more conservative family that really buys into gender roles, and i mean, fuck that, right?”

you give them no chance to agree.

“i’m a feminist! i swear to god i’m a fucking feminist!” you’re practically shouting now and the two men are so stunned, they can’t bring themselves to notice or care that the other patrons of the restaurant are starting to look over. “but i was in love! and i thought i was going to marry this moron! so i convinced myself i wanted to stay home and i wanted to clean the house and take care of a man—”

you say the word with so much disgust, both joshua and jeonghan struggle to keep from laughing.

“—and he was so happy when i quit my job like he’s been asking me to, and i thought i was happy too, like, what woman doesn’t want to be taken care of by a rich man?!”

you pause to burp briefly but it still isn’t enough time for either of them to get a word in.

“though again, i was in love! i was looking at that shithead through rose-tinted glasses! he’s nothing but a spoiled mama’s boy with a rich family! that asshole doesn’t have to do anything for the wealth he has! so now it's, like, what woman wants to be fake-taken-care-of by a 30-something-year-old mama’s boy?!”

the words come with even more disgust than “man.”

“and he had the nerve to act like he was better than me because i had to make everything i had before i met him! like, dude. if your bank account is still connected to your fucking mom’s, lower your goddamn voice when speaking to me!”

his best friend’s mouth drops open in absolute joy-filled shock at your biting remark. he’s enjoying meeting someone as chaotic as he is too much.

“and what was it for?! empty promises that he would propose soon?! endless faked orgasms for a man who’s afraid to give a woman head?!”

jeonghan chokes again, this time on nothing. joshua has more decorum but he can’t help the way his face turns bright red.

“you’d swear i was harboring a monster down there the way he cringed at the mere mention of oral, like, what is he, 12?!”

joshua has to avert his eyes to the ceiling of the restaurant at the mention of your “monster,” and he can’t even get it together long enough to nudge jeonghan when he bursts into hysterical laughter. they might as well be nonexistent, though, because you keep barreling through your rant.

“i was on track to be a director before 30! i was a fucking star! and look what he made me!” you screech, words slurring.

it takes your slurred speech and yet another burp for joshua to realize with mild horror that the pitcher of beer is almost empty, and that he and jeonghan are still on their first glasses. he elbows his best friend, who’s still cackling, and motions at the pitcher. jeonghan sighs happily as the last of his laughter leaves him and mutters a quiet: holy shit, pretty aggretsuko can drink.

“he turned me into a housewife without even making me a wife! and let me remind you: I AM A FEMINIST!” you slam your palms against the table with each word to punctuate your point. joshua can see why you picked aggretsuko for your burner account. “i support a woman’s choice to be a housewife if that’s what she wants, but my dumb ass didn’t realize that this isn’t the life i wanted until this fucking weekend! god!” you groan miserably. “all of this heartache and for what?! he cheated on me and now i’m jobless and about to be homeless and completely broke, and i…”

you seem to abruptly run out of steam, slumping in your seat and looking at your near-empty glass of beer pitifully. joshua has the urge to round the table and give you a hug, but he stays put, trying to process the whiplash of witnessing what he imagines is a mini “menty b.”

you take a few breaths before quietly saying, “i can’t believe this is what being in love got me.”

something violently lurches inside joshua’s chest when you say that.

“i can’t believe something that’s supposed to be as beautiful as love blinded me so badly.” your voice cracks. your eyes well with tears and this time, you make no move to stop them as they begin to streak your face. “how the hell can love hurt this much?”

joshua’s mouth falls open to say something—anything. any kind of comfort or kindness or advice. but no sound escapes his lips as he watches your heart break into tiny, little pieces in front of him.

he’ll look back at this moment and realize this was the first time his heart learned something he, himself, didn't know yet: what he had with mina wasn’t love—that maybe, he had actually never even been in love before. there’s no world where mina would ever have the kind of effect siwoo has on you on him, and there isn't anything mina can do that would make joshua scorn the concept of love because it's something he never even experienced with her.

but for now, all he can think is that, despite barely knowing you and despite being somewhat afraid of you, he has an insatiable want to fix this for you. he wants you to stop crying. he wants to see the rare smiles they were gifted tonight on your face once more. most of all, he wants to make the man who made you cry sorry for ever entering your life.

the words are out of his mouth before he can think twice about them.

“i’ll help you.” you immediately stop crying and look up at him with wide eyes. “i’ll help you ruin this idiot’s life. and when the two of us are through with him, i promise you he’ll be afraid to breathe within a 10-mile vicinity of you.”

[kiragecko]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@zahri-melitor didn't tag me, but did leave it open to followers.

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

17. There's still a few on ffnet I haven't moved over, but they're ROUGH.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

27,088. Fifteen hundred words per fic seems about right - I generally like 'em to have 2 scenes.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

X-Men and Batfamily.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Shirt Off Your Back - aka, the one where all the stuff I'm really proud of showed up by accident while I was trying to find a way to end it. I did good, it deserves the kudos.

Ives Adapts - love this weird little fic. It's obvious that it's a Tumblr thing - as much a list as it is a story. Which is what I love about it! And I thought 'the world needs more Ives' and then DID something about it! Good job, me.

Kon Is Loyal - hehe! This one is silly and fun. I don't do silly and fun that much. I'm glad I did.

Terms of Use - this is the far too personal one where I'm working through multiple things at once. The fic on this list I'm the most proud of.

Presents - not quite the same fic as Shirt of Your Back, but they're of a pair. I enjoy how clever Damian thinks he's being. Yes, yes, Damian, you're so smart!

(Also known as 5/6 of my Batfamiliy fic, and all the fic I've written in the last 5 years.)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yeah. I missed one, didn't notice it until 2 years later, and it STILL annoys me. Maybe I'll eventually thank them for their emoji a decade after they sent it, or something. I LIKE talking about my fic!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's called Fighting Fire with Kindling, and it's Not Good. Probably won't move it to AO3, even when ffnet dies. Trying to figure out why romance made me feel the way it did led to some weird fic.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Is It Really True? - which is a Rumpelstiltskin retelling is pretty straightforwardly happy at the end?

Most of my fic are more HOPEFUL than happy.

8. do you get hate on fics?

No. Well, maybe? I think I remember deleting something, once. It didn't leave a lasting mark. I've gotten hate on COMMENTS before, though.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Back in 2005 I was writing a lot about infidelity and unhealthy relationships, but ... actual sex scenes??? It took me a decade just to build up a tolerance for READING (or skimming) them!

10. do you write crossovers?

No. It's all about the relationships. Crossovers make it harder to focus on the relationships I'm in the fandom for.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. I wouldn't notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I am NOT popular.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Closest I've gotten is beta-ing. Team projects were the hardest part of school.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably Wolverine/Mariko Yashida/Jean Grey but not poly? Like, it WAS Wolverine/Jean Grey, and then she died, and then it was Wolverine/Mariko, but now Jean is back and Wolverine still loves her and they're all trying to co-parent their kid(s) but none of them are poly and it's complicated.

I cared about this one a LOT when I was 20. Almost entirely for the angst, but I'm taking what I can get. I'm way to aroace for most shipping to register.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

This Tim Recovers in Smallville fic. Possibly with some fake dating that stays very very fake? Like, I don't want to write it, but I REALLY want it to exist.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Outsider perspectives. Respecting abnormal thought processes and perspectives. Controlling pacing and indicating voice through sentence structure.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I started my fandom experience in barely-post-90s X-Men. Phonetic accents and illogically inserted random words from foreign languages are charming to me. Reading 80s/90s Wolverine as a Canadian makes me giggle.

It's also usually classist and often xenophobic. Always othering. In any fandom other than X-Men, phonetic accents and inserted foreign words bother me.

Have yet to see a form of other-language dialogue with translation that both flows smoothly and works with screen-readers.

Untranslated foreign-language dialogue works if I'm supposed to feel like an outsider, or like I'm missing something.

I prefer it translated into English, with narration telling me what language it is ... okay, that is a lie. I prefer every language to get their own special quote marks. I think that's REALLY fun. Especially if we can get some telepathy in there as well. I was reading X-fic in the early 2000s, I can't be expected to have good taste!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As stated, X-Men. Learned a lot, then took a decade long break for my mental health. Now I can write without worsening my depression!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Either Terms of Use (which is actually good) or Sometimes It's Hard to Think. I wrote the second one when I was a baby fan, and it was fun! I also love my self-insert character. She is SO different from who I am now. Everyone should write self-inserts - it's fascinating to go back and see insight into your past self-image.

If you want to (mostly so you can remind me of fic to reread 😉): @whetstonefires, @galaxystew, @alarajrogers, @incogneat-oh, @angel-gidget, @tabithian

[grimfantas]

you can call me heartless all you'd like, but it won't bring her back and it won't help you heal.

[noxtivagus]

I MISSED SWIMMING 🥺

[thisaliennerd]

Um hi this post is dedicated to my dumbass friends and the fact that they put up with my dumbass self

Honestly, I don’t know why...but I appreciate it!

@sparklyslytherin @are-you-being-sirius

[mrpenguinpants]

hellooo this is not a request but what do u think of the new upcoming character (he'll probably get release like... at least after 2 years ig TAT) Dainsleif?

Major spoilers for Kaeya’s Character Story and Khaenri'ah Lore. 

TLDR: I like the potential Dainsleif has plus his design is really nice. He might be a catalyst or sword user with empowered auto's or he might be similar to Zhongli that uses field effects and has a delete button for his elemental burst. 

I have many theories on who Dainsleif is and that he is either some type of traveler/god/homunculus and he has the element of ash or quintessence. The opposite of dendro and nature. I'd like to believe that the lore of Khaenri'ah relates to his story and his attitude (since he's from there originally) and it's a desolate place with no archon blessings so the people themselves had to develop their own methods to survive, hence the art of alchemy Khemia. When Dainsleif get's introduced, mostly likely towards the very end, we might find out why Scaramouche said the sky and the stars was a gigantic hoax and the truth behind Kaeya. 

---

ANON. YOU. YOU GET A COOKIE. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT STORY AND CHARACTER LORE SO MUCH.

Please, if any of you wanna talk about this I’m totally on board. I love Dainsleif and I’m so upset he’ll probably be released towards end game so yeah two years at least;; 

Okay, so level with me. I’m about to bring out the whiteboard for this. I tried to format it so it was easier to digest but this is pure word vomit and I went overboard again. 

What do u think of the new upcoming character Dainsleif?

I’m very excited. I think his design is beautiful and I want those lore bomb drops. 

Firstly, I can’t wait for him to drop. I’m always a sucker for lore and he’s been dropping hints from the start since he narrates all the character’s collected miscellany. He does remind of me Dimitri from FE3H but I’m excited for more Khaenri’ah lore. 

I have some theories about where the story will go with him and  Khaenri’ah but those are some major spoilers so I left a read more tag if you’re interested. 

Tumblr won’t let me upload his splash art but just google it lol.

Which weapon will he use? 

Catalyst or Sword. He might have empowered autos like Diluc and Razor or he might apply a mark like Childe. 

I can see him being a castor since his right arm is glowing. But he might also be a sword user that uses empowered auto’s like Diluc and Razor. Since the name Dainsleif was King Högni's sword during the battle of Hjaðningavíg. According to the reliable source of wiki, whatever wound the Dainsleif sword cause could not be healed. 

I think it would be cool if his auto’s apply a stack/mark (similar to Childe’s riptide mark), and after 3 auto’s the mark is consumed and the enemy gets dealt heavy damage. Or maybe you can apply debuffs like “defense down” or maybe even a blind, based on the number to stacks you have on the mark. 

What vision will he have?

A hydro vision or a custom one (similar to a delusion). Or he doesn’t have a vision at all and uses alchemy or is secretly a “god”.

As for vision, he might be a hydro character since his splash art appears like he’s coming out of a ball of water. I’ve heard people say he might be cyro also, which wouldn’t be extremely off if visions actually correspond with their user. 

Or he might be introduced with an entirely new element (perhaps a new type of alchemy?). His star is a dark blue too so he might have the element of black mist/dust or ash/shadows as a potential power. 

In the Albedo trailer he mentions:

"But I know it well. It hails from Khaenri'ah: The Art of Khemia. Soil and chalk, the universe and earth, pure dust and the birth of life.”

Perhaps this is the vision/power that Dainsleif has? Maybe even the creator or maybe he even taught Albedo’s Master how to do Khemia. I don’t think he really encompasses the Geo vision (I will seriously write an 11 page essay on how vision’s correspond with their holder). We don’t know a lot about Dendro but I think he might be related to it. But just like Khaenri’ah, he’s reflects the opposite. Instead of “birth of life” and tree’s, he’s the “death of life” and ash. (wow doesn’t that sound deep lolol sorry I don’t really know how to explain it). The way he talks in trailers, he says “mortals” a lot but does vouch for them so it makes me wonder if he might actually be a god. 

Also his title is the “Bough Keeper”. A bough means: a main branch of a tree. This makes me believe that he can either do something similar to what Albedo showed us and can create life or he does the opposite and creates ash. Honestly, a part of me believes he might just have generic moveset’s like everyone else but let me dream lol. 

Or he might not even be a vision holder since we don’t see him holding one, but we only have this angle and art to go off on. He might even use stars haha. If anyone remembers, during the falling star event, Scaramouche says the sky and stars were a gigantic hoax. I would not be surprised if the world is actually upside down or the “sky” isn’t even a sky at all. More like a sheet over Teyvat or some kind of illusion. 

Or another theory, perhaps Dainsleif is the god of time since he says in Travail during the Traveler chapter:

“Defeat me, command me to step aside, show me that you are worthier than I to rescue her. Then, the threads of all fate will be yours to re-weave“

It would explain how he knows so much about the other characters and what happened in the past since he brings up “the war” a lot. I’m assuming it’s either the Archon War or something before that. 

Or mihoyo could shred my thesis paper and Dainsleif has nothing to do with this and he’s some random guy from Khaenri’ah with plot convivence. 

---

I just want to mention at the bottom of this, but the classical elements are water, earth, fire, air and (later) aether. I find it funny that the male MC shares the name. 

“Aether, also called quintessence, is the fifth and highest classical element. It’s a material that fills the region of the universe above the terrestrial sphere.” 

“It permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies. The essence of a thing in its purest and most concentrated form,”

Or this is just a hint to the traveler’s power since the traveler is the only one that can use all the elements. 

Possible moveset?

He might use stars or air/anemo in his moveset. He could be a very good dps with a lot of trapping potential. Or he might be a field effect support like Albedo, but can still do a lot of damage. 

Imagine Dainsleif uses stars haha, throwing them to do damage like Ningguang’s rocks. The splash art of him shows two stars in the top left. He might have a teleport (similar to Keqing + Mona dash), or maybe he could even have some sort of telekinesis with his right arm. I’m just getting Xayah from league of legends vibes where he can throw the star, it places itself at max range, then he can recall them and the star does damage on the way back. Similar to how Keqing’s elemental skill works but instead of teleporting to the stiletto, the stiletto comes back to you when you press e again. (Sorry I play on keyboard). 

The opposite of nature is void or cosmos so that could be relating to his power as well since the only animation we get of him is in Teyvat Chapter Storyline Preview: Travail (I’m just gonna say Travail) and this black mist comes from his hand and he says: 

“"We will defy this world with a power from beyond.”

Could be interesting hehe. He might even be a field effect character like Albedo. He doesn’t really strike me as the guy that likes fighting but in the Albedo trailer he says: 

“I am content to watch most crises play out from the sidelines. But if Albedo were ever to make a single wrong move...I could not let myself ignore it.”.

Seems to be that Dainsleif is pretty powerful or at least has some type of influence. It could be interesting if he’s similar to Zhongli and has a giant delete button for his elemental burst haha. Or he has some type of imprisonment power like Mona’s burst. Or as I mentioned earlier, it would be fun having telekinesis but this is just me taking liberties haha. 

(and yes I totally understand that I’m forcing the story to support my theory BUT IGNORE IT OK.)

Black Mist/Dust and Ash/Shadows?

Uh I gave up on these summaries lol 

I touched on it briefly but I say black mist or shadows since I believe that Khaenri’ah is probably not a good place to live originally. Similar to how Mondstadt was in the past, it is probably surrounded by some type of barrier (hence the mist or even the sky) that both traps and makes sure no one get’s in or out. Khaenri’ah is quite the opposite of most regions besides the whole “no archon” business but in “Travai”, when Dainsleif brings up Khaenri’ah this shows up:

It seems like a star to me in some hidden pocket in the sky and what not. This is what I would assume Scaramouche saw (possibly, we have no idea) and therefore there are people and an entire region that’s in the sky. But why would  Khaenri’ah be above Celestia? Since you can see Celestia in Teyvat. I would like to think that Teyvat is either upside down and Khaenri’ah is actually below everything or this pocket in the sky isn’t even in Teyvat and is similar to how you reach spiral abyss. You have to go through this circle in Cape Oath and you get sucked into this worm hole thing and you make it to Musk Reef. Where we saw Scarachmouche and he tells us the sky is a hoax. 

This idea kinda supports my idea that Teyvat is either upside down or the sky isn’t real since how could Dainsleif know who all these people are (since he narrates all the 5 star character’s trailers). Either the man is just really smart and travel’s around a lot but he’s aware of who Zhongli is, an archon from 6000 years ago. This makes me believe he is either a god himself or if he is also a homunculus. Or he’s in the third category and perhaps he’s also a traveler like the main character’s.

I don’t believe he’s an archon but it would be interesting if he was a potential candidate for becoming the Khaenri’ah archon. Since I believe vision holders (human) can become archons and rise to Celestia but Dainsleif refused or he was capable of becoming an Archon

“A human with a Vision is an allogene — one with the potential to reach godhood; however, it isn't clear if having a Vision is a requirement, or simply makes a person more likely to meet the qualifications to reach Celestia.”

But going back to the state of Khaenri’ah, I’d like to think that since the art of Khemia is from Khaenri’ah that would mean that they had to learn how to make their own food and life since they didn’t have an archon to bless their lands. Barbatos had swept the snow and land away in the region of Mondstadt but Khaenri’ah doesn’t have that luxury. Naturally, I would imagine that there are some downsides of Khemia when it was first being practiced, hence the ash. But ash isn’t a bad thing, in fact you can use ash to amend soil and boost your lawn. 

But obviously having a vision would be a whole lot more useful since it’s literally god given talent/blessing so if you have a vision, you might be able to break out and go to the “above” world of Teyvat. If you have a vision you’re seen as being blessed by the gods and you might be able to ascend to Celestia itself. I believe that Khaenri’ah is secretly the abyss and doesn’t see the sun so it’s always dark and it’s hard to grow anything so the people of Khaenri’ah had to find ways to make their own food, hence alchemy. This could be why Dainsleif is so adamant about humanity and questioning the Archons and visions. 

If we are going on the theory that Dainsleif is actually a normal human, then I’d like to imagine he was one of the people that prayed for a vision or some type of blessing and finally got it. But an incident happened and he lost his faith or resolve in the Archons. He mentions it a tiny bit in the Diluc trailer but this is just me spit balling. 

Also, Kaeya’s talents also mention about an abyss and void before the change. I don’t think abyss was made to relate to the abyss order and more the actual definition of abyss but it’s still interesting. 

What is Khemia?

Well I don’t know and I don’t know how accurate google is but let’s try and go through it together. I have no idea if what I’m about to type is offensive since I do not have a history degree and I’m pretty much paraphrasing what google tells me.

---

So Khemia, is an Egyptian sacred science. When Egypt was occupied by the Arabs they added “al-” to the world “Khemia” and “al-Khemia”. Al-Khemia means “The Black Land” and is now seen as a possibly origin of the world alchemy. 

Not gonna lie, I did not know al-khemia meant the black land so idk if my hindsight is 2020 or it was just super obvious for my monkey brain. 

As for the world “Chemeia”, it was used to designate the art of metal-working, specifically changing base metals into gold and silver. The Arabs later prefixed it with “al” and the world “alchemy”. Alchemy came to signify the art of chemistry in general. However the word "Chemeia” was probably derived from the Greek word “chemi” which means “black”. This could be because: 

In the sense of "dark" or "hidden", since the Dark, Hidden or Divine Art was the only name by which this science was known to the ancients.

However, the word chemistry might have had a Chinese origin.  It may have been derived from the Hakka term KIM-MI or the Cantonese term KEM-MAI, which signifies "gone astray in search of gold" or "secret of gold". 

Assuming it’s from Egyptian origin, the ancient Egyptian word khēmia means the transmutation of earth, thereby the science of matter at the atomic to molecular scale. According to some etymologists, khēmia or “preparation of black powder” ultimately derived the name from Khem or Kēme, Egypt, the land of black earth. 

---

So if we are going with the Chinese origin, I’d like to think that this is a hint towards the story and people trying to find the “gold” or perhaps a vision. This could explain why Kaeya was sent to Mondstadt to hopefully require a vision and come back. 

What is the lore behind Khaenri’ah then?

So, why do I think the people of Khaenri’ah are looking to be saved or want a vision so badly? Well, time to go through the entire Khaenri’ah lore with you lads. 

The Khaenri’ah lore goes as this:

At least 200 years ago, the Eclipse Dynasty threw the kingdom into chaos (meaning it was the last Dynasty).

The people were cursed and transformed into monsters.

Mondstadt’s Knights and Grand Master Arundolyn went on an expedition to Khaenri’ah to fight off the monsters.

In the present,  Khaenri’ah is still struggling against the effects of the curse. Kaeya was sent to Mondstadt as their last hope and for the sake of the “ancient plot”.

1. For those not aware, China’s time periods were separated into Dynasty’s (sort of). The Chinese characters of “Eclipse Dynasty” are [古国黑日落] or "The Ancient Civilization of the Black Sunset". There is probably some type of history or connection to this since Zhongli’s voicelines are full of them but this post is long enough and I don’t know if people want to or care about hearing Chinese history but um let me know? Cause I’m really into that and I will gladly write about it.

2. We’re not completely aware if the people transformed into Hilichurls or were apart of the Abyss Order. But since the last dynasty was literally called Eclipse I would like to believe this supports my idea that Khaenri’ah isn’t someplace you can easily reach and you have to entire a fucking worm hole to get to. I’m in love with the idea that Khaenri’ah is the spiral abyss or at least part of it, that Childe fell into when he was a younger. Perhaps even the spiral abyss is where he landed since time technically doesn’t pass in spiral and it’s just a wave of enemies. I would 100% not be shocked if we have to enter the that wormhole to get to Khaenri’ah or something similar. 

3. Arundolyn was a previous Grand Master and while he did not possess a Vision, he was naturally gifted through intense training. He was formerly one of the Four Winds and had the title of “Lion of Light”. So Khaenri’ah is possible to get to and someone from Mondstadt has done it, but without a vision. The Traveler also doesn’t carry a vision so it might be interesting to see. Kaeya didn’t get his vision until he was 18? 17? When he had a falling out with Diluc. 

I would like to think that perhaps the Archon’s betrayed Khaenri’ah or someone fucked up in their pursuit to develop Khemia to it’s fullest potential or wanted to make their own vision, hence the delusion and how it transforms Childe into a foul legacy form. The Dragonspine lore could point to how Celestia has the power to seal away Khaenri’ah. This also might have been where Dainsleif lost his resolve (assuming he’s a human and just happened to get some sort of power or is really good at Khemia he saw the past or fate or whatever lol)

“Murals, Record of Serial No., and other lore bits in Dragonspine indicate that those who dwelled there attempted to fight against Celestia but lost. As punishment, the Skyfrost Nail was dropped, and the area was turned into a frozen wasteland.

Therefore, people with visions cannot enter Khaenri’ah because of the Archon’s and people that receive visions (which I still think is highly unlikely if you’re in Khaenri’ah) might be able to break out. Think of spiral abyss as some sort of “purgatory” except to enter Khaenri’ah you go down. To get out, you start AT FLOOR 12 and make your way up. Similar to Kid Icarus and how the hardest level was at the beginning and as you went up, it slowly became easier. 

4. I like the idea that Khaenri’ah is a land that either doesn’t have vision holders or the people that do have visions aren’t seen the same way as other regions. People are are actually cursed by the Gods or people that require visions leave Khaenri’ah because they now have the power to. In Travail Dainsleif says this:

"Some say a few are chosen and the rest are dregs, but I say we humans have our humanity. We will defy this world from a power from beyond”

Naturally these are his ideals and I’d like to believe that Khaenri’ah is actually split on this. Some believe in Dainsleif ideals while the other half doesn’t. If we’re going on the theory that Khaenri’ah is actually the abyss then the abyss order makes a bit more sense. 

Plus the idea that Lumine/Aether (I think the story is just going to stick with Lumine being the “villain ”) working for the abyss, it could be because their twin was separated by an unknown god. Aether was asleep and plagued by nightmares with his sister saying “it was too late”, perhaps he lost his memory since he doesn’t know what he was late for? Maybe this is what she meant since I’d assume the story has you going from place to place and the Archon’s stepping down like in Liyue and the Tsaritsa collecting all the gnosis. 

Why is the Tsaritsa collecting all the gnosis?

“She is a god with no love left for her people, nor do they have any left for her. Her followers only hope to be on her side when the day of her rebellion against the divine comes at last."

I can imagine that Tsarista or the Cyro archon is collecting all the gnosis because she believes in the Khaenri’ah attitude and is apart of the ancient plot or is trying to protect them somehow since she isn’t an evil person based on Childe’s voicelines:

“Her Royal Highness the Tsaritsa is actually a gentle soul. Too gentle, in fact, and that's why she had to harden herself. Likewise, she declared war against the whole world only because she dreams of peace. And because she made an enemy of the world, I had the chance to become acquainted with you.”

Or maybe even more interesting, she was actually a citizen of Khaenri’ah since the Tsaritsa wasn’t apart of the original seven but this is a huge stretch. Maybe she’s collecting all the gnosis to finally break the seal on Khaenri’ah? Plus the people of Sneznaya strike me as “I don’t care if you’re blessed by the gods or have a vision, if you can fight then you’re good in our books”. Plus the people of Khaenri’ah are probably pretty mad at the Archons so when the rebellion does come I’d assume the Tsaritsa wants them on her side. 

What happened to Kaeya?

Now Kaeya’s character story goes into how he met Diluc and Crepus. It’s hinted that it was on purpose since Kaeya’s father left him there specifically. 

"One afternoon near the end of summer a decade ago, my father and I passed by the Dawn Winery."

This matter-of-fact description hides a carefully constructed lie. Kaeya has never once spoken the truth about what happened that afternoon:

"This is your chance. You are our last hope."

Kaeya would never forget the look of both hope and hatred in his father's eyes as he uttered those words.

Now you can interpret this as many things, either collecting all the gnosis and obtaining a vision to hopefully come back to save Khaenri’ah could be what he meant or he want’s Kaeya to stop the Abyss Order from literally setting Teyvat on fire. You can probably sympathize with the Abyss Order if we are following the theory that they are actually the mutated monsters of Khaenri’ah citizen’s during the Eclipse dynasty but it’s also like, how about we not set the world on fire ya know?

But interestingly, the reason why Kaeya’s father left him with Diluc’s family is because they have a long history of participating in the rebellion against Decarabian 2,600 years ago and Vennessa’s rebellion against the Aristocracy. 

What will happen when Dainsleif get’s introduced?

So, I’m fully on board with the “Kaeya being the secret prince of Khaenri’ah” theory. I like the idea that Dainsleif is Kaeya’s servant or trusted advisor but I think that’s mainly rooted in the ship. Dainsleif strikes me more as someone who observes and only steps in if he has to because it might affect fate or whatever.

“I am content to watch most crises play out from the sidelines. But if Albedo were ever to make a single wrong move...I could not let myself ignore it.” 

I don’t think Dainsleif is the King of Khaenri’ah that Jean mentions in her hobbies voiceline but perhaps he was related to them somehow. Maybe the first King or the King that Jean mentions was real and Dainsleif was his friend or the God that helped him become King, then the Eclipse Dynasty happened and everything went downhill. Since I believe in Kaeya being a secret prince from  Khaenri’ah, Dainsleif would still be somewhat loyal to the Kingdom or perhaps he had lost faith after what happened and how so many people got corrupted and turned into monsters. 

I was talking about this with my friend but what if genshin pulls an fgo and “kills” Kaeya? Similar to FGO where Leonardo “died” in a car accident and when we visited a shop, there was just a hologram. What if genshin’s story kills Kaeya in a cutscene, and we can no longer use him since Kaeya was a free character, only to return as - THE 5 STAR WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR - the prince of Khaenri’ah.

When will we see Dainsleif?

According to the “Travail” the order of appearances is this: 

I believe part 1 is finished with Zhongli and dragonspine was just an add on for Albedo. But this makes me believe that Dainsleif and Khaenri’ah will be after we go to Snezhnaya. Also side note, the music for Natlan slaps hard. 

---

But yeah, I kinda went a bit off track and started talking about the story haha. I really love lore so if anyone has any questions about other characters or want’s to discuss the genshin story I am all ears^^. Also, if any of this becomes true in two years time I WILL BE BACK TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO. 

Or genshin prepares to rip this post apart and none of it is true. If you actually read my word vomit I appreciate you and you get a free cookie. If you’re wondering where I’ve been, it was writing this haha. 

[twstoric]

notice

nothing too serious but hello hello!! i’m sorry for dying these past few months as my time management skills needs some serious brushing up and i’ve been... under a lot and still sorta am lmao

i’d like to say a couple of things regarding the blog, requests, and future updates and such! nothing too heavy hehe

1. the blog is safe!

i won’t be deleting this or abandoning it or anything! of course i’m taking breaks and all that but this blog will (hopefully) stay even though i’m not always active! 

2. i’m planning to do heavy revamps to the blog + posts

i’m not sure how you all think about my current format but i feel like it’s kinda (very?) messy so i’m planning to edit a lot of things in and out starting from my mobile theme as you’ve probably seen! my tags will probably change and a lot of other things i’ll hopefully work on later

3. about requests

i’m still planning to do them! though i think i might have to speed run through them to get things done faster and open up a new batch of requests. i’m really sorry for that but i find it to be much more effective (hopefully)! as a reference, i normally do a scenario for one character about +1k words and three charas is at leasts 400-500ish words which would mean on average a single scenario request would be +1.5k-ish words? you get the idea! i’m thinking of writing them a bit shorter same with headcanons and such! 

4. will i be more active then?

unfortunately not :( i’m still super duper busy until... may? ish but i find myself needing an outlet to vent and cool down hehe so i’m gonna treat this as a stress relief! although to be honest my interest in twst is all over the place so my characterization could be ait troublesome :((( i’m sorry for that

5. about asks

i have a lot of thirsts in my inbox rn hehe thank you for that! i’ll be answering them at really random times but i’m sorry it’s taking me up till now to pull it together lmao but i hope we’ll continue to have more fun together!

✨bottom line✨

i’m gonna slowly ease into my revamping so twstoric can be reborn tsk tsk and i’ll be closing my inbox for awhile so i can just empty it out! i’m not sure if any of you tried to contact me since i did close it at some point for one reason or another but yeah! heads up i’ll still be closing the inbox for a little while but if you wanna say hi for bit please do!! i am deprived lmao ♡︎

also also!!! this happened while i was one with the undead but 🥺 i reached more than 1k followers!! thank you for that!!! i was really shocked but i’m glad that many people found my writings entertaining enough to follow and continue following this blog despite my lack of presence ahah thank you so much!!! 😭

which really makes me wanna 💔 make something or an event for you but boo i suck at that and it’ll probably make me guilty if i just.. delete all the previous requests in favour of an event blegh but we’ll see! again, thank you very very veryy much for your interest and i’ll try to do better! ♡︎

[ranposlittle]

Hii I'm a big fan of your writing(●♡∀♡)!!!! May I request a scenario with Kunikida which broke up with his S/O, and then he regrets about it plus his S/O hurt sm? Hope this won't bother you and thankss🤍🤍

Genre: SFW, Angst

Tags: Break up, I used the F-word once im sorry ;w;

A/N: Thank you for appreciating my writing, you anonymous bunny~ thank you for requesting this, too. I enjoyed writing this! Please listen to THIS SONG for maximum angst (stan day6) and I hope this will make you hurt inside, in a good way hehe enjoooy~ ٩(๑>◡<๑)۶

˚ * . ⊹ • ꒰꒱ • ⊹. * ˚

The office chair creaked beneath Kunikida's weight as he stretched his arms up after doing the day's work. His back feels heavy and his muscles sore from doing nothing but sitting and typing this week's report.

Putting his attention back to his computer and the afternoon sun reflecting on the screen, Kunikida squinted to check the time; he still have thirty minutes. While everybody else was rustling about and getting ready to head home, Kunikida decided to check his files and clean up some space on his drive. While doing so, he realized that he can't remember the last time he tidied up his files and quickly scolded himself for being so unorganized. With slender fingers, he clicked on every folders within folders, rummaging its contents and hitting the small button on his keyboard to delete the old items. With each unneeded gunk out of his system, he felt lighter as if his stress was being relieved along with his computer's storage.

Kunikida's eyes never left the screen even if his favorite eye-sore asked him if he's planning to sleep on his desk because he's too afraid to be late for tomorrow, in which he just replied with a deadpanned answer and demanded the man to leave him alone before he hangs him using the very same bandages covering the man's body.

Left in serene silence now, he was able to focus more on his work and in no time, he was almost done with it. The click of the mouse echoed in the empty office as Kunikida went on the folder for videos. He doesn't even know why he bothered since he knows for sure that he doesn't keep such things on his work computer but there it is; a file with a name composed of series of random numbers and letters stared at him from the opposite side of the screen. Kunikida's mind raced as to what the video might be and how it ended up on his computer in the first place. The pointer slowly made its way to the file, he clicked on it twice and the screen turned dark as the video player loaded its contents.

The ocean. The strong blows of wind muffled the sounds of the waves crashing into the shore and the birds cawing around. The camera panned throughout the entire beach, catching some people playing about under the hot sun. Kunikida's memory has started to piece together the beautiful scenery when suddenly, a voice in the video called out his name. The camera quickly turned to the source of the voice and when the lenses focused, his heart stopped. It's you. It's been so long since he has seen your face but yet, you still manage to steal his breath away with just your silhouette.

You waved cheerfully at the camera and he heard himself chuckle lowly. A bright smile plastered across your face as another wave rippled on your sandy feet. It's your first vacation. He remembered it now. He purchased the camera especially for this occasion.

"Aren't you going to swim?" You shouted at him, your face crinkled from the sun's harsh beam underneath your straw hat.

"Maybe later," his own voice boomed in reply. "It's still too hot, you'll get sunburned. Come sit here with me for a moment."

You ran towards him and the shade of the beach umbrella he was under. The sound of your giggles rang on the speakers of his monitor and clenched up on his chest. Your face moved closer to the camera and got out of frame, followed by a snappy sound. A kiss, he reckoned. He can actually almost feel the warmth of your lips as it closed in on his like you always do before and a jolt of pain stabbed in his chest. He wanted to look away, to pause the video and just delete it, but his fingers are frozen in place and his eyes are locked in on the scene in front of him as you moved back into frame with that sweet smile of yours that he fell for.

Kunikida kept on watching as the scene cut off to a view of the sunset. The sound shuffled as he flipped the camera to get the two of you in frame as you shared a kiss. In spite of the pain in his chest, he smiled as he recalled the memory of you.

He remembered how happy the both of you were this time. Even though Kunikida dreaded missing a day of work, he remembered being nothing but excited as he waited for the day of your vacation to come. He remembered how much his heart raced whenever he would see you, his mind clouded with the thought of wanting to be with you every second of the day. He remembered how much you loved him, how you would always whisper those sweet words to him in the most unexpected times, disturbing the butterflies in his stomach. He remembered all the times where he'll get out of the comforting warmth of the bed when you share a night together as he starts a new day. How you, despite being barely out of your dream state, would always wake up before he heads to the door to remind him once more of your love for him and wishes him to enjoy the day ahead. He remembered how those words being the only thing that got him through the day alright no matter what challenge he has to face. He felt like an idiot. An idiot for not saying those words back enough, for not appreciating how good you were to him, for breaking your heart.

Kunikida smashed the space bar, pausing the video to the image of the two of you embracing. His fists balled up as the ache in his heart grew and droplets of tears trickled down his cheeks. Kunikida cursed quietly, wiping the unwanted tears away and looked up to his screen once again. Why? Why is he hurting this way? He's the one who broke up with you. So, why?

He remember that time, too. He entered the room with a heavy heart but he has made up his mind about it. He's been thinking about breaking it up to you for weeks now and he figured that it's time to just face the fact that he's no longer in love with you. He remembered the look on your face when you've processed his words. The tears, the pleading, the quiet sobs– he remember it all.

"Stay," you repeatedly asked him as if you're praying to a deity for a miracle. But he didn't hear you. His foot stepped in front of the other without hesitation as he walked out of your room and your life. Admittedly, he was hurting back then, too. He did had some nights of crying himself to sleep but he knew that it's what was needed to be done.

Kunikida exited the video, shut down his computer and stood up from his chair. It's just a memory, he thought to himself, just an old memory romanticized by nostalgia. He'll get over it once he occupied himself with other important things, he convinced himself.

But by the next few days, he's still thinking about you. He's distracted everyday as the prickling pain on his chest never left him, no matter how much he drowns himself in his work. He was feeling more frustrated everyday as his mind nagged him to see you, to talk to you. He knew it'll probably make things worse but he couldn't think of any other way to settle his feelings. So, here he is, on the corner of Cafe Uzumaki, away from prying eyes and invasive ears. His cellphone on one shaky hand as he hesitantly call you. His thumb moved swiftly across the number pad, his muscles remembering the pattern with all the times he dialed the same set of numbers to hear your voice on the other line. Kunikida gulped thickly as he once again argued with his own logic. He clicked his tongue in defeat and pressed the call button.

He heard the first ring. Then, the second. You usually pick up around the fifth ring so he waited. Third ring. Does he really want to—

"Hello?"

Kunikida's heart beat painfully loud on his chest and his mind panicked upon hearing the familiarity of your voice. His hand shook harder and his throat tightened up as he felt so nervous, he could throw up.

"Hello? Who is this?" You asked once again.

With a couple puffs of shallow breath, Kunikida raised his phone up to his ear and forced his own voice out of his dry throat.

"H-Hi," he said timidly. "It's me. It's... Kunikida."

Footfall echoes as people come and go in Cafe Uzumaki, Kunikida's slim finger rubbed at the porcelain handle of his cup. His coffee has gone cold and his thoughts are too occupied with things to say and imaginary scenarios of how this meeting will go to demand for a refill. He was in the middle of another imaginary conversation with you when a voice softly called out his name.

"Kunikida-kun?" It sounded too real to just be in his head this time.

He caught a glimpse of someone standing in front of him through his peripheral and his emerald eyes slowly lifted up from your frame, stopping at the sight of your smiling face. You're beautiful. You always have been. He keep trying to forget but you're just as beautiful as the day he first loved you.

When he didn't said anything and just stared at you, you took it upon yourself to sit yourself down across from him on the booth. A kimono-clad lady came by shortly, asking for your order. Mocha latte, you said politely. A drink you've always been fond of, just like before, Kunikida thought.

"So," you said coldly, breaking off the silence, "are you just going to stare at me or what?"

His face contorted into a mixture of shock and a concerned frown. Of course you're still angry at him, what was he even expecting? That you'll just run towards him and wrap him in a tight embrace like he didn't shattered your trust and crushed your heart?

Then all of a sudden, you brightly laughed at him. "I was just kidding, Kunikida-kun. You're always so easy to tease."

He stuttered in surprise, weren't you mad at him? Through his disbelief, Kunikida's face soften as he continue to stare at your giggling form. A small smile made its way to his lips as he feel warm inside. He have always had a weak spot for your smile and laughter. Just seeing you happy like this made him forget that things are different now.

"It's been, what," you mused after calming down from your jesting, "two years since we've seen each other? I feel so old now."

The waitress came back with your order in hand and you bowed politely in gratitude. You mirrored Kunikida's earlier actions as you fiddled with the handle of your cup, took a few sips of your drink and waited for him to return the conversation.

"I'm sorry for making you come here. I just, uh, I saw our old video. Our first vacation. Do you remember that?" Kunikida finally said, eyes falling back down on his cold coffee. It's been so long since he has to say his feelings out loud, it feels suffocating and liberating at the same time.

"It was on my computer. I don't even remember how it got there but," he continued, not really waiting for your answer as he unravel his thoughts. "I just can't stop thinking about you since then. About us."

A gloomy cloud descended on your booth as you realized Kunikida's sentiment. The atmosphere around you began to feel heavy, nostalgic and sad. You said nothing but your heart ached inside your ribcages as flashes of memories– the good and the bad– played in your head like a movie.

"I think I made a mistake, (Y/N)." Kunikida said in almost a whisper, "I made a mistake."

"Kunikida-kun, I—"

"I want you back, (Y/N). I want us back. We were happy, you know? We were so happy together and we had it all. You loved me more than anyone ever did and I— I threw it all away. I don't even know why I just had to fuck it all up." Kunikida groaned and buried his face on one hand as he tried to conceal the tears that his eyes can't hold back anymore. He cursed under his breath as he failed to compose himself despite feeling like an absolute fool for crying in front of you like this. But he just can't stop. His chest felt like it's going to burst from all the emotions he was repressing. He just can't stop his heart from hurting, no matter what his logical brain is telling him.

You let him crumble down in front of you. To say that you were heartbroken when he left you is an understatement but you never harbored any ill will towards Kunikida. You took no pleasure in hearing his regretful words and watching him hurt like this. You knew that the both of you are just victims of the circumstances; victims of fate and wrong timings. Neither one of you is at fault. It just wasn't meant to be.

"Listen, Kunikida-kun," you took his free hand and held it firmly on both of yours. "You are one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. You are one of the greatest men I've ever met. You're right, we were so happy back then and sometimes, I still wonder if I can ever have that again."

Kunikida looked up at you, the tightness in his chest still making it hard for him to breath. His eyes are swollen and the tears still wouldn't stop from dropping down his face but the feeling of your hand on his is such a comforting feeling. For a brief moment, he remembered how you used to hold him like this when he's upset, your loving voice calming him down from any nightmares and just you staying by his side until he was alright is his remedy for any traumatic experience he obtained from saving lives. How amazing it is that you still have that effect on him after all this time.

"But what happened to us also taught me a great lesson about life, and love, and about myself. I could say that I'm a better person now because of that experience. I regret nothing, Kunikida-kun. I don't want you to, as well. Don't think of me and feel regrets about the what-if and the what-could've-been. I want you to feel happy. Be happy that it happened," you continued and Kunikida's eyes flickered as more tears came down. "We got to experience something that other people would spend their whole lives seeking. We got to share something so special that we will carry it with us through the rest of our lives. I'm glad, you know. I'm just really glad that I get to do that with you. I'm glad that it was you, Kunikida-kun."

Your voice broke off as you say his name, tears of unknown reason started to run down your face as well in spite of the kind smile you have. Kunikida's eyes widen for a second, understanding what your wise words mean. It means he's not getting you back. It means his chance had passed and no matter what he does, he knows that things will just stay the way they are. No amount of apology or regret will bring you both back at the time where your love for each other is as bright as the sun that was shining on that one vacation day.

His jaw clenched as another stabbing pain jolted on his chest. "I understand," he said and managing to muster a smile. "I understand," he repeated although it was more to himself this time.

"Thank you for calling me," you said, rubbing your thumbs against his skin. "I'm really happy to see you again. I'm glad we got to talk."

"Yeah. Me too," Kunikida gave you a half-hearted smile. He wanted to say more but there's nothing he can say to change what's already on your mind. He just have to accept it. If there's anything that he can do for you right now, it's to let you be happy even if that doesn't include him.

"Anyway, I've got to go," you said, patting his hand gently before letting go. You stood up from your chair, left some money for your drink on the table and slinged your bag on your shoulder. "Take care, Kunikida-kun."

His eyes met yours one last time, an expression of a certain kind of fondness can be seen on both of your eyes. A silent agreement was made in that moment as you lingered on his presence; an agreement to part but to still cherish the other deep in your hearts for as long as you live. Kunikida stood up from his seat, gingerly walked towards you and gave you a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered softly. You placed a hand on his back and returned his embrace, rubbing it in comfort.

Kunikida loosened his arms around you and let you go. He let you go as he also freed himself from you. He watched as you smiled, turned around and walked away. He envisioned himself that one night, when he turned and walked away from you too despite your cries for him to stay with you. Kunikida can't help but scoffed at the irony of it all.

He sat back down when you disappeared out of the door. He doesn't know if he'll ever have the courage to heal from all this and call to see you again without hurting anymore. He looked outside at the evening sky, his surroundings looked different as hues of purple and pink tinted the whole city. Kunikida exhaled, thanking that he can see the big picture now, it's just a shame that he had to move so far back to the point that he can't go back just to see how perfect it was.

[immortalfornow]

ask game!

I was tagged by @fandomfishbish, my very cool mutual (thanks, by the way! this was fun and your answers were interesting!). The rules are pretty simple: answer 30 questions, tag some people you’d like to get to know better (it’s supposed to be 20 but I am pretty new to tumblr so I probably won’t tag very many)

Name/Nickname: I go by Jordyn on the internet bc there are creeps and my real name is unique enough that putting it out there makes me nervous lol

Gender: hmm...good question. afab but going through a gender crisis lately so ???? I use she/her pronouns for now though

Star sign: scorpio :) I promise I’m not evil though haha

Height: 5′5 and I’m proud of it bc I am taller than my mom which means I am a GIANT

Time: I am in pacific standard time

Birthday: November 17!

Favorite bands: oh no I listen to so many bands I could not tell you my favorite to save my life. top 3 rn are probably mother mother, twenty one pilots, and idkhow but that will probably different by tommorow morning so don’t quote me on it

Favorite solo artist: erm probably the narcissist cookbook but there’s so many good artists idk

Song stuck in my head: all of them all the time lol

Last movie: the brainwashing of my dad. it’s a documentary on amazon prime about how the right hooks regular people and radicalizes them. it was really interesting!

Last show: atla, I think. I’m tryna watch it all so I can watch legend of korra

When did I create this blog: err sometime in late 2020 I think. I was on here earlier, but I deleted my old blog a couple years ago and 2020 just got too boring so I came back and started over and now I have this tiny lil blog

What do I post: mostly just random reblogs. a lot of stuff from podcasts, but it’s honestly just whatever I think is cool and that shifts around a lot

Last thing I googled: auskbdhieulrp my mom was convinced that there was a song called what’s up supercat so I spent half an hour trying to find that only to come to the unfortunate realization that it was actually a song called what’s new pussycat that is much less cool than she remembered and not very good at all

Do I get asks: not really bc I have very few followers but oh well

Why I chose my url: it’s my url on another site and I wanted something easy to remember lol

How many blogs do I follow: 77 bc I haven’t properly re-explored tumblr yet

How many followers I have: it’s a secret hehe

Average hours of sleep: swings wildly between 2 hours and 9

Lucky number: hmm idk but my favorite number is 9 bc it’s 3 cubed and that’s just neat

Instruments: I used to be able to play viola and clarinet but it’s been a while. I’m trying to teach myself piano right now though

What am I wearing: jeans and a black shirt bc today has been A Day

Dream job: I’d like to be a therapist and a photographer on the side. landscape photography is my little pipe dream I’ve had for ages, but I also really want to help people!

Dream trip: I have no idea!!!! I haven’t really been able to travel much so going literally anywhere would make me happy, I think

Last book I read: A horrible romance novel that my sister is really into lol

Favorite food: hmm there’s too many options

Nationality: American, unfortunately

Favorite song: hmm right now probably that bitch by bea miller bc it’s just very good and I love angry women haha

Top three fictional universes: again, my likes shift rapidly so don’t quote me on this later lol. but probably star trek would be one just bc there’s just so much possible and I think that’s really cool (though I haven’t watched a ton of it), the dndads universe bc it brings me comfort, and (assuming I can pick a game, which I have decided I can) the subnautica universe bc there’s so much to explore and its lore is so interesting. minecraft almost beat subnautica just bc I know so much random stuff about it (especially considering that I don’t really play it), but subnautica is so pretty that I had to put it on the list

What is something you like about yourself? I like how curious and open minded I am about the world. I think it enriches my life and the life of people around me, and it’s a good trait to have.

hmmm I have absolutely no idea who to tag bc I don’t know a lot of people on here. definitely @soresorelungs, bc idk much about you but you seem cool (no pressure though! you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!). other than that, anyone who sees this and wants to do it can say I tagged them :)

[dreamlikeapsycho]

I saw the max facts (pun intended 😂) you did for that question a while ago. So I was wondering if maybe you could tell us some more facts about Max it doesn’t have to be anything too detailed but anything you know would be nice to know, pretty please 😊

Okay... RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MAX - PART 2

I went on deep analysis mode this time to try and say all of Max's little nice and cute moments I know of.. Pls take notice, tho!! I'm not trying to flex or anything, I'm just a simple peasant girl on Maximilian's kingdom for a long time and it happens I have FBI blood in my veins 😭 so It's all gather on my brain and hard drive lol SO! I'm just answering this ask with a lot of thought and care so you can know more about Max and how he is even more awesome than you think!!! (And just in text form, cause Max doesn't need to be tagged on more personal stuff on IG (there’s too much illegal fishing at my tumblr pond already! 👏). It’s probably weird to know certain things, yes, but at least I'm respectful, I'll never bother him with this kind of stuff). Well, enjoy the bible below to end up knowing very little about him, still haha.. Just some more small facts.

- Max was at a barbecue just yesterday. It was someones birthday from the set of his new movie. He drank his beer, like usual, idk about the meat.. there was wurst and chicken.. I'm not sure if he's trying to be a vegetarian or not (after that thoughtful video he posted) 🤔.. maybe he didn't eat it, I don't know!!

- a little while before the start of this shooting, he was at the Baltic Sea filming for the series he's gonna be in (just one episode again! Don't get your hopes too high lol he's gonna be a security guard who disappears mysteriously, so....)

- He helped his friend renovate his house a few weeks ago!! How could I forget that on the first post.. Then, he had to go to Hesse for the movie shooting, and his friend had to call another friend to come help him lmao damn

I think I could describe some videos I have then... at least there's some cool and funny stuff. (Friends himself tagged in the past and cast friends)

- Max's dad went to the same uni as him. Also, he voiced a police officer on the phone in a short film Max wrote and directed all by himself (he didn't act on it, but he was also another police officer over the phone haha). Another thing, his dad made the official music for one of his plays.

- The falafel day.. his friend was taking a piss filming Max at the shop from afar and zooming in, saying "omg, guys! I found Noah from Dark! He's right there buying falafel" lmao, then, Max is just standing there looking all wonderful with his perfect hair and such, moving his hands, scratching his chin, ordering his food, and his friend talks some more, doing like a rough Max voice "yeah yeah, I'll have that one. Good, yeah". 😂

- the day he went to take a walk in nature. His friend asks him for a cigarette, he is denied, he goes to take it anyway, Max slams his cup of tea on the table and tries to take his cigarette back and it's all black and they're just laughing lmao (I love his laugh btw, so giggly!)

There was storys posted by Max himself.. so, maybe you saw it, but it's from before dark s3 came out.

- The pigeon storys. He filmed two pigeons chasing each other at the station, one always running from the other and he captioned "me trying to flirt" haha

- He screen recorded an ad for an app that deletes people from pictures and made some joke too, I can't remember exactly what he wrote, smt like "when you break up, but still wants to keep the picture" lol also, he unfollowed like 5 people that week after posting that... hm 👀

- he posted a video of him walking in the dark with really cold wind.. you can only see his hair flying around. Also, with a mask on, another chasing a cat in a big field, and that one drinking his coffee and eating his yogurt (you most likely saw it already)

- Ohh.. His friend was playing Max's drums the other day!!! Made a lot of jokes, it was obvious he was messing around in Max's room (maybe they live together, maybe he just waters the plants lol idk). Some of the jokes were "I've been playing this drums since 1921" and "the drums and me are a perfect pair, don't ever believe otherwise". I wonder what Max said to him.. he can't do anything about it, he's not in Berlin hahah. He has a little giraffe in his room, and other home decors (you can see it on his drumming video on his own IG)

- he likes to read on longer train rides.

- there's a video of him screaming inside a wardrobe after being jumped by a friend and one of him putting lipstick on with the song "I'm a sexy motherfucker" playing in the background hehe we was tagged, it was easy to find when there wasn't much tagged post.

- There's moments of ppl filming something/themselves and he just comes and photobombs it lol he is just like thiss 👏 showing his tongue and doing a funny face and such. One of those I saw it on the IG of a Das Boot cast member I actually already followed before.

- this group was such a blast. There's a few pictures, one of them he's in a dress, he has white stockings on til his thighs, heels and all haha lovely

- His improv-group.. he was almost in tears singing "I believe I can fly" with the group on their last day.. But he was happy! A mix of emotions. He loves everyone, he expresses his love a lot to people in general, he says it and adds heart emojis to make sure haha you can see his comments going on IG of his cast friends, especially from Das Boot (I followed a lot of the guys). So, about always commenting something funny on people's posts.. I didn't saved those, so I forgot most of it, but one I remember was that someone posted a video of a hailstorm and he was like "what are u doing, free ice!! Go grab them" hahaha

- Max has that Noah picture where he's peaking by a wall (you know that one Baran posted) printed and framed! 👏

- Things he’s pretty much always with: his backpack and his big headphones (it's always on his neck. At almost every picture, from every year, with different people etc. I was confused when he had normal headphones at his farm storys. Maybe he forgot them in Berlin 😭. Besides those, his rings, necklaces and bracelets (always, for years and years! Same ones, even). He uses frequently on premieres, as I saw it. Sometimes they also show up on his characters in his one-episode works!! Hahah is so nice when that happens. You can notice this on my screencaps.

- that pic of him that is everywhere now (with glasses, holding a bottle of champagne), I posted that months ago.. There's 2 more pics and 1 video. One pic, he is pretending the automatic lighter that's on the table is a Harry Potter wand (but I think I cropped the table, right.. I can't remember). This was actually posted by Max himself and he tagged his friend who took it. I went to see if they posted smt and there was a picture where he is literally biting the cork of that bottle off with his teeth Lmaoo, and one video.. he is talking on the phone trying to block the view with his feet.. this man!!

- he really doesn't care about buying too much unnecessary clothes and shoes and stuff. He is mindful of his things and the environment!! 

- there's a video of him on the set of Der Zauberlehrling, I need to recall where I got that from (maybe I could share this one. I'm not sure), he is messing with the broom and someone asks him "hey Max, what's that animal?" and points to the fluffy microphone. He says "it's a fucked up coala bear" (in english) 😂

Again.. I can't say names or anything, cause ppl are not mindful! Like.. I know I'm probably weird, but only for myself and my FBI office LOL I don't go over there and follow/reply to all these people’s posts and storys or take their videos and tag Max on them, this is just not.... nah. I'll always be respectful (yeah, some older stuff has gifs, cause he had like 10k followers, and 5 fans on tumblr lol But i never sent/tag him in anything personal directly.. that’s why i only posted on tumblr for the past year, in fact! I never thought things would be the way they are now a year later.. so, newer stuff it's not posted/gif nor ever will). I don't want him to be weirded out and like, disappear from IG!! I think about these things.. when people are being weird and stuff towards him. I don’t know how ppl don’t think about this when tagging him recklessly in random pictures and videos!!!

I wish he had more interviews, so we could know more proper stuff about him. (The few interviews he has are translated on my IG highlight. There's still an 8min interview missing there, cause I'm contemplating about being more of a bother to german speaking people, since I only have basic german..

[5-14]

ult group game

tagged by @coups thank you for tagging me sally!!! 💗

tagging: @kyunsies​, @3maeiri​, @xlilybebe and anyone else that wants to do this :D

for: monsta x

1. who was your first bias?

technically my first bias was minhyuk but the first person to catch my eye was shownu bc he was so cute ssjsjsjs (esp in the trespass dance practice where they’re all just running around screaming lmao)

2. who is your bias now?

still minhyuk :D but ofc i love them all so much

3. what was the first mv you watched by them?

trespass (knock knock ja deureogamnida!)

4. what’s your favourite mv?

alligator just everything about that mv is so good esp the dance during the last 30 seconds of the mv and the ending pose...!! ugh immaculate!!

i also really like the colours in follow (;_;) and x-phenomenon was fun and cute!! (they have too many good mvs i can barely pick)

5. if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

this is literally the hardest question....,,, maybe if only bc even though it makes me cry i still love it so much

6. who would you want to see them collab with?

ofc WONHO 

7. what (mv) concept do you want to see them do?

if they ever have an mv for a chill song then like a daily life type of mv that were pretty popular back in 2012 where theyre just like wandering around the city doing stuff OR OR something super avante garde with wacky camera angles and distortions (idk what it would be like but it would be cool i think) or a wong kar wai 90s esque inspired concept would be cool as well

8. have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

yes a lot actually sjsjsjjs like the past 2 weeks i’ve been having dreams of minhyuk every other day... there was one where we were picking flowers in a field during night and saw a shooting star, and another where he was somehow a part of my high school friend group and we all hung out after volleyball practice, and another creepier one where we were on stage and a bunch of people just stared at us like O_O

9. if you could spend a day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

maybe paint with minhyuk or go fishing with hyungwon hehe (it would be fun to go to a sea in the winter with all of them,, riding bikes or going on a picnic!!)

10. which member do you think you would get along with best?

maybe because hes my bias but minhyuk... i just feel like i would never be bored with him around even if hes just cooped up in his blanket watching science videos lol in terms of personality i feel like i’m a mix of jooheon and hyungwon and minhyuk is just so good at taking care of people and making them feel loved and we have a lot similar stances on things so yeah

11. which member do you think you would argue with?

honestly speaking probably wonho LOL but only in a fun way!! because he likes to tease people and im super gullible so it’d be like ._. (++ does anyone remember that time where he was like ya guys sorry to break to you but all posts on fancafe will be deleted after the new gen comes out its a new rule and we can’t do anything abt it :/ and everyone freaked out like bruh WHAT but then 20 mins later he was like haha sike :P got y’all didn’t i like sir...!!! making me panic and for what)

12. if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be

my blog is basically dedicated to spreading love for them so they can all go through it i wouldn’t mind <3

[a-tired-leftie-carnation]

50 questions tag!

i got tagged by @watttine, thank uuu so muccch !!!

what color is your hairbrush?: black.

name a food you never eat: i mean, i don't like mushroom or olives, but i eat them out of necessity. so i’d say pepper, i don't think i've ever eaten pepper actually.

are you typically too warm or too cold?: too warm for sure, i even blush super easily and all that.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago?: house chores lol.

what’s your favourite candy bar?: kit kat or m&m’s (the peanut ones).

have you ever been to a professional sports game?: nope.

what’s the last thing you said out loud?: “they were so loud and annoying” because like im with my friend and i was telling her about that one time my cousin picked me up from the train station and there’s just been a football game around so the drivers were all honking and screaming and singing and uh, too loud.

what’s your favourite ice cream?: i’d usually eat like forest fruits & mango or snickers & banana.

what was the last thing you had to drink?: water probably.

do you like your wallet?: i’m still young, so i don't carry a wallet with me yet skdnsdj but i do have one in my drawer, and yeah i like it.

what’s the last thing you ate?: i just cut some apples so.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: i haven't bought any clothes since december lmao. (so nope)

what’s the last sporting event you watched?: i don't really watch tv but i think it’d be the ski competition i saw in january lol.

what is your favourite flavor of popcorn?: caramel.

who’s the last person you sent a text to?: @pastel-butnotreally-angel hehe.

ever go camping?: i went in 9th grade during a school trip, yup.

do you take vitamins?: not really.

do you go to church every sunday?: nope, i’m a full-time atheist. (i read the question and wanted to delete your answer but then i was like “oh same, lets just change it up a bit” lol)

do you have a tan?: nope, i avoid tanning as much as possible.

do you prefer chinese or pizza?: imma say pizza, tho I do love noodles too. (but like i prefer japanese over chinese - random info)

do you drink soda through a straw?: i don’t drink soda actually.

what color socks do you usually wear?: black usually.

do you ever drive above the speed limit?: i’m 17 lol.

what terrifies you?: not being sensitive enough of people’s emotions I guess??

look to your left, what do you see?: my friend~

what chore do you hate the most?: ironing, i think.

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?: i freaking love it, so like if i were to think of a person, i’d say rose from bp or felix from skz.

what’s your favourite soda?: i used to like sprite the most. (because of some book i read lol)

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?: i ain’t driving so. (though i don't eat much fast food either)

what’s your favourite number?: i used to like even numbers, but i’m kinda through with them lol. (so odd numbers like 7 or 5 mostly - not 3 tho, i don't like 3)

who’s the last person you talked to?: i’m talking with my friend and sister right now so, they’re the ones!

favourite cut of beef?: i don’t eat beef tho.

last song you listened to?: well my friend was listening to “bim bam toi” by carla just now, though like - voluntarily - i last listened to “my favourite clothes” by rini.

last book you read?: it’s probably “when the earth was flat - all the bits of science we got wrong” by graeme donald or “jfk 22.11.1963″ by stephen king, i've been alternatively reading them both lol.

can you say the alphabet backwards?: i’m writing this like 5 min later because me and my friend actually tried and failed (so no, i can’t), though my sister succeded !!

favourite day of the week?: friday afternoons are the most nicest ones~

how do you like your coffee?: i don’t drink coffee at home, but i’d usually drink latte with salted caramel. (at times when there is indeed a coffee shop around, since my town doesn’t have a proper one)

favorite pair of shoes?: i have 2 pairs of boots i love, basically.

time you normally get up?: at 7am during week days and like 8:30am-9am in the weekend.

sunrise or sunsets?: sunset, i love those warm colours sm.

how many blankets on your bed?: i got only one, pal.

describe your kitchen plates?: they’re like plain yellow/purple/grey ones mostly.

describe your kitchen at the moment?: i guess it’s quite clean?? though i’m not responsible for it so???

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?: sweet red wine or redberries strongbow.

do you play cards?: well i do play at get-togethers or like sleepovers, but that’s about it.

what color is your car?: i mean my father’s car is grey, but i do not have one.

can you change a tire?: no, i can’t.

your favourite state/province/county/etc?: imma guess they mean “cities” - okay. my favourites (which i visited) would be bucharest or cluj-napoca or venice, though i’m in awe over cities like vienna, lisabona, berlin, dublin or skt. petersburg.

favourite job you’ve had?: i haven’t had a job yet, though i surely know how to pour vodka and make a profit outta it. lol im half-ass joking but like i used to work in my parents’ shop for hours throughout 1st-4th grade (like they would leave me alone and all that, serious stuff) (it was a supermarket so we would sell cigs and alcoholic drinks).

how did you get your biggest scar?: lol story time again, but basically my mother did it. so i was baking a cake for my sister’s birthday, as one does. and i was holding a plastic bag so my mom can pour some melted chocolate into it. what we didn’t take into account was that the plastic would melt lmao and oops it went through and burnt my ankle. it’s like a 30cm squared 2nd degree burn.

i’m tagging @pastel-butnotreally-angel, @lemonmilkk, @darkthestars, @palpitating-procrastination and @hisaka (though it’s indeed long asf so no pressure to do it)(but i enjoyed it owo)

[iwaizooming]

frequently asked questions

when did you make this blog?

started this blog on September 30, 2020; started writing on October 2

are the requests open?

the status for requesting can always be found on my blog directory, so please refer to that. if it’s open, i’m pretty slow on doing them so please be patient! before requesting, make sure to read the rules if you don’t want your req to be deleted.

why didn’t you answer my ask?

if it’s a regular ask/taglist req, i probably did!! (unless tumblr swallowed it bc it does that sometimes) it’s just on queue so that i don’t spam everyone’s dash. if it’s a request, i prioritize writing things i want to write, but i’ll get to them sooner or later! just check the lex’s reqs tag once in a while (update: I DONT TAKE REQS ANYMORE <//3)

what’s your upload schedule?

i don’t like routines, so i don’t really have a set schedule, but i try to post actual content at least a couple of times a week.

what’s your nsfw sideblog?

send me an ask off anon if you’d like the @, i don’t want to put it out for everyone to see bc i don’t want my moots who are still minors to see em (personal preference hehe) so i’ll have to verify your age before giving u the @!! it’s a fun time over there but be warned, i’m still pretty bad at writing smut HAHA

[danganronpedits-archived]

i am once again asking for a kinmatch 👉🏻👈🏻 but not for me!! it’s for my sister. we have an ongoing joke that she’s irl kokichi, and i just wanna see what you think about her. danganronpa as the source, if you could !!!! okay to start, she has a short temper, brags a lot ( especially about her height ), LOVES to lie for her entertainment, and loves to take advantage of little things ( like my flinching LMAO ). she also loves to debate. ( i might need to continue this WHOOPS )

she HATES loosing/being wrong, and gets really into an argument. so much so that she might say some mean things. she usually feels bad after it, though. she might be a jerk on the outside, but she cares. she just might not show it. that’s all! thanks so much and once again have a nice day LMAO ( i might come around just to chat sometimes if you don’t mind ) -👉🏻👈🏻

i’m gonna cry, this is my second time writing this post out because i accidentally closed out the tab,,, note to self to keep backup copies haha. but anyways! i can totally get this done for you! actually, i think i’ve seen a similar ask on another profile... small world hehe~ you and your sister seem really cool! i don’t mind at all if you stop by and chat sometimes! oh, but... without further ado, let’s give it everything we’ve got!

first off, i match your sister with...

kokichi ouma!

you probably saw this coming, haha... your sister is very reminiscent of kokichi, though. the two definitely have short tempers, though in kokichi’s case, it’s more understated since a lot of stuff actually goes his way ingame. at least, at first- jumping a bit later into your ask, a strong example of kokichi’s short temper as well as notes of him caring about the people around him come out in the ch4 trial. so, spoilers- i’ll put a * at the end. but, whenever his plans aren’t going how he wants them to, not only does he get the angriest we’ve seen him all game, but this is also partially because of what many speculate to be his guilt for manipulating gonta. he isn’t showing it as actual guilt, of course, since i’m not gonna write a whole kokichi essay here, but still. * tying it into your sister, trial four in v3 really strongly shows a lot of traits both her and him share. hating losing/being wrong, being a jerk on the outside but caring deep down, having a short temper, loving to get into debates/arguments, saying mean things but feeling guilt afterwards, i mean. your sister is kokichicore. i’m not gonna go into detail since it would just make the post redundant and even longer than it probably will be, but all of these traits align almost perfectly with him!

but oh no, anon, i’m not done yet. the only thing that i see as a slight difference between kokichi and her is that kokichi lies for both entertainment and for his own ulterior motives, typically for the best, even if it comes out malicious. i of course don’t know your sister, and don’t know her specific reasons for being a liar- she could lie for the same reasons that i believe kokichi to or not. however, the two of them do seem to share that sort of peppy attitude, while being almost-jokingly condescending to others. he brags a lot, especially about his talent(different than his height, but you know), and i personally see him as very perceptive- that thought mostly being from how he can tell when others are lying at the drop of a hat. i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the only thing he can pick up on, since he’s sort of a master manipulator when he wants to be, and again while i don’t know your sister both of them can take advantage of other people’s little nuances.

secondly, i match your sister with...

kotoko utsugi!

she’s been here a lot lately, huh? forgive me using the same sprite as the last one, i jus... love it sm. anyways, it was only when i was halfway done writing this post that i moved kotoko up to second place haha. first off, i think that your sister and kotoko are definitely both short-tempered, heck, the wiki’s first describing word for her is hot-headed! she isn’t a big bragger, however the persona she puts on makes her have a lot of theatre-based aspects to her personality, like being more loud and excited, as well as adding extra pizzazz to a lot of her speech and movements. kotoko and your sister are both big liars, and while a lot of kotoko’s lies are defense mechanisms, there are also lots of things she does purely for her own enjoyment. i won’t talk about it in depth here, but her chapter three interactions with komaru... yeah. she also takes advantage of small things about other people, as while examples aren’t specifically pointed out, she was able to lie to the other warriors of hope about her intentions and mindset while she was in the group- this requires at least a basic understanding of how to trick, or take advantage of, other people.

surprisingly, it doesn’t end there? kotoko is definitely the type to get into lots of debates and arguments- sometimes she doesn’t see them through to the end or get really riled up, but my lord, she is very passionate about peelings. plus, i mean, she is a bit of a bully, but it doesn’t seem to be out of a defense mechanism, she seems mean to her friends(despite probably caring about them, actually- after all, they were probably her first actual friends) just for the sake of her own enjoyment. she struggles to properly show when she does care, and i think that that’s a big coping mechanism thing- again, i don’t personally know your sister, but that’s just something i think the two of them can share. anyways! this post is already over 1,000 words and i’m not even done with the last major matchup... so! a!

finally, i match your sister with...

hiyoko saionji!

okay, i’ll be a bit more concise with this one. but fun fact! i was originally gonna do hiyoko as the first choice?? but ultimately decided not to, will elaborate in the tags. however, while your sister isn’t directly linked to hiyoko in some ways, i think that the general personalities of them are similar. first, hiyoko hates being wrong- in fact, a large part of her is that she’ll refuse to take care of herself or be around others, since she doesn’t want to be perceived as stupid or wrong, all for not being able to tie her own kimono. while hiyoko is more of a crier than a rager, like your sister is, i think that that’s a strong parallel- plus, with hiyoko being, um, kind of a bully, she’s very good at finding people that are easy to take advantage of. that’s for lack of a better term, though, i’m not saying that your sister’s a toxic person asdjfjsjf!!!!

plus, hiyoko and your sister both brag a lot- while hiyoko’s is more passive and setting up a sense of superiority(about her traditionalism, economic status and talent), they both establish a sense of “i see myself as higher than the rest of you”. also, this is probably the longest point, but hiyoko does care for people like mikan whenever she picks on them- she typically doesn’t show it, and only does for fleeting moments, but her steadily growing kindness towards them is a big indicator of this. there are lots of times in the manga where hiyoko, despite being a bit gruff on the outside, does show that she cares for others, even if she’s not open enough to really say it genuinely and honestly.

-

your sister also reminds me a bit of miu iruma, and a little bit of junko enoshima! (er... as in, a nondespair junko with a similar personality. please don’t think i’m calling your sister the same as someone who’s caused as much destruction as junko has, haha.)

whew! i’m sorry this came out so late! it might’ve been a bit earlier, but when my kokichi description was accidentally deleted it drained my motivation a bit. none of that is your fault though, anon! so try not to worry,, thank you very much for requesting!! i hope that you and your sister like this sdjfjadfs

-mod tsu