Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)
(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)
Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!
Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)
word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️
proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶
TW: Stockholm syndrome
Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..
Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.
You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.
You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!
•
•
•
Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.
Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.
They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!
Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more
From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.
“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.
“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“
“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”
“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”
Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?
“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”
•
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•
Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.
If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it’s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.
Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.
Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.
“Isn’t the food here the best?”
Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.
“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…
Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?
“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.
She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.
He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.
A hand is gently wipes your tears away,
“It’s time to go, Y/n.”
“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“
“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.
Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.
Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.
A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.
You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.
Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.
Final Part:
When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.
“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”
Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.
Now you remember him!
“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.
But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.
After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.
“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”
Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.
With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”
“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.
“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.
A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.
It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….
After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.
Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-
“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”
You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“
Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.
Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”
All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.
“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”
He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.
Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.
Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”
•
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•
The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.
You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...
Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.
Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area
On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.
Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.
Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.
You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.
It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.
Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up 😍😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!
♡ taglist: @swivy123
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FREE NAMJOON -
[ ot7 x reader ]
FREE JIMIN
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
y/n: if i open instagram and see namjoons feet again i’m going to go insane
tae: me 2 😆
jimin: tae makes physically ill !
hobi: real.
tae: i never said i am going the good insane what the hell
jin: you didn’t need to say anything
we know
jk: the fact ur not trying to hide it anymore is real upsetting bro
tae: society will never progress with people like you guys
i am the future
yoongi: why are we always taking about feet?
jin: some times at that prehistoric age you tend to do drastic things like that
jimin: prehistoric?? ur older than him?
jin: okay and? you look fucking older than him
wrinkled fuck
jimin: you are turning into dust as you type
namjoon: bye we are not talking about feet again.
y/n: tae and joon for therapy i say!
jimin: jin for a retirement home!
jk: who do you think will die first?
like out of us
hobi: you
tae: probably jimin
jimin: are you insane jin is literally 82 on deaths doorstep fr
jin: i agree jimin will be first to go no doubt in my mind in fact i will single handedly make sure of it and that is a promise to you all as my closest friends
jk: omg! ur so cool!!!!!
jimin: wtf???
what about that is cool?
yoongi: jimin would die first
jimin: WTF?????????
jin: LOL
jimin: FUCK YOU
yoongi: when have you guys ever had a civilised conversation
namjoon: who wants food? i’m ordering
jk: maybe it’s all sexual tension
y/n: fr just kiss or something
jin: HE WISHES
jimin: the way i almost threw UP
namjoon: can someone answer me
jk: sometimes there is no answer
hobi: deep bro.
jk: awomon
namjoon: is it not amen?
jk: clearly you are NOT a feminist!
jin: me personally? i’m a feminist
jimin: me 2 i love pussy
hobi: awoman 🙏🏼
tae: international womens day everyday!!!
suga: 🤞🏻
y/n: can you guys go one day without mentioning feminism omg
jin: it’s so deep in my veins i cant
jk: what is an orgasm??
namjoon: i’m actually leaving the group
jimin: kook not knowing what an orgasm is was ur last straw?
weak 🥱
namjoon: no it was actually after tae talked about feet for a least the 1000th time today
tae: is it not the power house of the cell??
y/n: oh wow
jk: holy shit ur right
yoongi: ????
tae: wydm ???
yoongi don’t be upset cuz you didn’t know
jk: right…
tae: nvm it’s actually pretty common knowledge so maybe you should be a little upset
jin: you guys make me want to pull my hair out
jimin: it’s practically falling out already doesn’t really make a difference
y/n: tell me you guys aren’t being fr…
tae: wait….
MY FAULT i thought you said organism 🙏🏻
wasn’t wearing my glasses
yoongi: the way that’s still wrong
hobi: he wears glasses?
jk: so what does it mean
jimin: guys i have a crush 🤭
jin: always a crush never a job
y/n: HELDPDODOFODKFJFKC
hobi: set him free for fucking real
yoongi: pt2
jimin: fuck you all i didn’t want to talk about it anyways
jk: do you think ironman gets lonely in heaven
namjoon: maybe you should join him
jk: OMG???????
namjoon just told me to kms (real) (not clickbait)
tae: what if jungkook doesn’t go to heaven?
who knows what he does behind closed doors
y/n: he vapes
jk: NO
y/n: if you say so
jin: jimin and namjoon going to hell that’s all i know
jimin: omg take my dick out your mouth
jin: ew?
namjoon: ????
tae: i know joon does coke on the low
yoongi: :3
namjoon: what???
hobi: i could be a red velvet member if i tried hard enough
y/n: i believe in you
hobi: means the world tbh
namjoon: when have i ever mentioned coke in my life?? let alone taken it
tae: see how defensive he’s getting
someone call the police
yoongi: jungkook joined a cult yesterday
namjoon: what?
hobi: namjoon are you not tired?
namjoon: ?
hobi: always asking questions like are you not sick of it
have you found the answers you’ve been looking for
if not i suggest you stop asking and give up all together :/
y/n: I AGREE
#stopthequwstions2023
namjoon: im leaving before i say something i regret
*namjoon left the group*
jin: he was so gonna say the n word
y/n: HELDPDODDODODOODOD
tae: stop the namjoon hate 2023
jk: i miss him so much
my life is falling apart
*jk added namjoon to the group!*
namjoon: leave me ALONE.
*namjoon left the group*
jimin: yikes
yoongi: skill issue tbh
y/n: i take no blame for this btw
jimin: i didn’t do anything!!!!
tae: not me
yoongi: ❌
jin: lowkey hobi’s fault
hobi: i blame jk
jk: wtf…
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for the character ask 002 Bobby Nash
(I love how you're fighting with polls, I also hate that you can't delete them)
character ask game
reply threads are so great tumblr can you make a fucking x button for polls
anyway
version two — give me a character and i will tell you:
how I feel about this character:
i need to fuck that old man
and then also hold him tight and keep him safe because he needs stability and love in his life and let him know that he never needed to be perfect or even great and the pain he suffered wasn’t a punishment it was just life and it’s not his time yet
all the people I ship romantically with this character:
it’s athena it’s just athena who else no one could beat THE athena grant they’re soulmates i love them they’re so perfect each other THE married couple of all time even if i wanted to ship anyone else i couldn’t because she’s literally right there and nobody else matters
my non-romantic OTP for this character:
will never not hate rockmond for taking away bobby and michael bestieism from me they were perfect together husbands in law besties god brought them together because god can be kind sometimes and by god i mean tim there was always support between the two of them and they were so good at communicating their issues and urghhh just every scene between the two of them is amazing
also him and the kids like the firehouse field trip and all his moments with may and always caring about them ugh i love this family if they don’t give me more moments next season ill fight someone
my unpopular opinion about this character:
i think the only one i have remotely is that i don’t want him to retire yet, i think they absolutely could do well with it (especially if that one food truck idea gets followed through ppeawepleaseoleasepleawepleaseeapsleapslewapslw) but ill just miss him as captain even though i know his attitude towards his job isn’t like athena’s so it might happen but ill be sad because change is hard
one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
um his fucking house didn’t burn down
no bc i get it but oh my fucking god BRING THE GRANT NASH HOUSE BACK TO ME TIM YOU ARE EVIL AND YOU BETTER BE READY WHEN I FIND YOU
also my previous answer before season seven probably would’ve been more details on his childhood but guess what tim hates me and he wants to make both me and my husband suffer through the horrors
my OTP:
me and bobby
lol no it’s bathena of course it is, they are such a beautiful couple and i’m on my rewatch and “thanks for coming to get me” “always” never fails to make me a believer in true love like it is insane how much love you can pack into one word they’ve always got each other’s backs and they are just soooo in love they’re everything to me
my crossover ship:
once again no one because i’m not big into crossovers unless real life counts then it’s me and bathena
a headcanon fact:
i like to think after he retires he’ll be a lot more involved in charity work and whatnot, like he’d probably still help a lot with the 118 fundraisers and then do more with his local church. he and buck would probably make homemade meals and donate them to a shelter idk i just think it’s cute. and the firefam kids help too because kindness and volunteer hours
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ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING
dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.
everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).
(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)
FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?
i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.
BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.
CHARACTERS
bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-
reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)
parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.
CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.
i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??
i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.
RELATIONSHIPS
nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.
NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.
reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.
REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-
-
'You can't love anyone right?"
"I've met very few people worth loving."
-
*throws myself off a building*
now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.
the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-
PLOT
now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.
do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.
alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS
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im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3
anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.
Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition
Ch 1:
*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me
My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(
------------
Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH
Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*
"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh
LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell
I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder
FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB
"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny
GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((
Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png
Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN.
Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much
Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion
Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this
EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now
Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T
Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl??????????
Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!!
TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life
Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???
OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING ——
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