#i wish i could remember the first time i noticed how prominent his ass looked

[thedevilsrain]

check out this prime shoujo sexyman eye candy

[poppy-metal]

so uh,,,,this ended up being alot softer then i was expecting LMAO.

Bully!eren x reader

Cw: not alot, some smut at the end. Tame for me but i was in my FEELINGS okay.

Word count: 2.3k

The familiar sleek black of erens benz pulls up to the side of your house as you walk home from a late night trip to the grocery store, pints of ben & jerrys ice cream in the bags, as well as several other snack items one might munch on to cram for an exam, which is what you planned on doing. 

You side step more onto the sidewalk when he pulls up beside you, still driving just slow enough to match your pace. He rolls down the window, jerking his head, “Just the girl i wanted to see,” he drawls hooking his arm out his window to lean out a little, he grins, “its fate” 

You scrunch your nose up and scoff “Stalking is another word for it, jaeger”. You look him over suspiciously, “you wanted to see me?” 

He rolls his eyes. He’s wearing aviator sunglasses, pushed up his forehead. Loitering in front of your house like this, you’re aware of how different the worlds you live in are. Everything about eren is expensive, from his car to his sunglasses to his clothes, even the way he smells, the cologne he wears, all tells how important he is. Meanwhile here you are in your oversized hoodie and leggings, hands full of stuff you’d bought from the convenience store, prepared to spend your night busting your ass to even stay in the college you had to claw your way to get into, wherein he had gotten in without even trying. You’re not self conscious, at least not usually. You’d never yearned to be apart of erens world too terribly, and it was eren who always sought you out, not the other way around, when there was plenty of rich girls right up his alley and status that would be glad to be with him and yet here he was at 11pm at night. You try to push down the way your heart flutters at that fact.

“Uh huh. Get in the car, bambi, m’taking you somewhere” his teeth are a flash of white against the night, promising trouble, as always. Your grip on your bags tightens, as does your heart in your chest. You glance away, “i have to study” 

“Study?”

Your brows pinch together and you hold up your bags “Not that you’d care, jaeger, but some of us have to actually study to achieve our goals. I can't entertain you tonight, im busy” 

Eren doesn’t look put out in the slightest, glancing down at your bags with casual disinterest“You dont need to study”. And then he looks up at you and meets your eyes, your breath catching, they look closer to the shade of seaglass today. “You’re smarter than anyone i know, ___, and i know alot of people. Whatever you want to pass? You’re already there. Just come with me, please”  

Your eyes widen and your heart spasms in your chest, caught off guard by the raw honesty in his voice. He has moments like this, where he usually teases you and gets under your skin but sometimes he says something that makes everything in you jolt. Its not fair. Its confusing and it messes with your head, makes it fuzzy, weakens you and makes you do things you’d never do with a clear mind.  

You wish you could fight it, wish you could roll your eyes and tell him no and do what you need to do. But you don’t. Huffing you say, “Ugh, fine. Just let me put this stuff up, my ice creams probably already a puddle by now” you turn and rush up to your house, ears burning when you hear him call out, “Thatta girl!” 

You try not to put everything away to hastily, thinking he ought to squirm just a little, but even you can’t deny the eager buzzing under your skin. When you clamber into the passenger seat of his car eren turns to grin at you as he flicks his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Knew you’d see reason, bambi”. You roll your eyes at the nickname, crossing your arms over your chest as you side eye him warily, “where are you taking me jaeger, is this a kidnapping?” 

“Not a kidnapping when you want it, sweetheart”, eren says, putting his arm around the back of your seat as he backs up his car to make a uturn. You dont know if the flustered leap in your chest is from the petname or the way his forearm looks flexing, the cords in his neck prominent as he looks behind him for any oncoming cars. “Just trust me, yeah? You’ll like it” 

You sink in the seat, trying to get away from the warm heat of his arm so close to you, but hes taking it away soon enough, only to draw your attention again to the way his hands look steering the wheel. His hands….You turn to look out the window, opting for silence, because you feel like you’re about to lose your mind. This car is just so..him and its overwhelming your senses. It smells good, it smells like him, his cologne wafting all around you. The sleek interior of his car is crisp, clean, sharp, and just so richboy it feels surreal. You haven’t been in his car before. 

Eren seems okay with the silence though, tapping his finger idly against the wheel as soft music plays from the radio. Its strangely peaceful, actually. Before you know it, the whirring of houses and neighborhoods and highway turns into palm trees and sand. You sit up straighter, coming out of your daze when you realize eren is pulling his car into the sandy bank by a large body of water. The beach. You haven’t had a chance to go here. 

The water looks like black at this time of night, there are no waves, just sparkling dark abyss that stretches out for ages and ages, glittering under the moonlight. There are no other cars parked close to you so its just you, eren, and the sea. 

You spend quite awhile gawking at the ocean before you come to your senses and turn to face eren. He has his elbow propped on the wheel, chewing idly on his thumb as he peers at you from over his sunglasses. A small smile is playing at his lips as he watches you. 

You gape, “What…” 

“You’re cute when you’re excited, you know” his voice is low, dropped in that way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. You ignore the way your heart skips at his words, probing him, “Why did you bring me here, ren?” 

He turns to face forward, flipping the radio off so theres no background noise between the two of you. Taking his sunglasses off the folds them and puts them on the dash, sighing as he watches the ocean from out the windshield, gnawing on his lips. Tap, tap, tap, his fingers on the wheel go as you wait for him to speak. “Last week,” he starts, glancing at you, “When we had to do those presentations in class about places we feel at home..you talked about the library” 

He laughs under his breath like its some kind of endearing joke, shaking his head a little. You dont speak. “The library is where i first saw you, you know? I mean, before all this, before i..talked to you, i noticed you before you ever noticed me.” A small secret smile plays on his lips, “You were reading ‘percy jackson and the lightning thief’, and you haid your hair in pigtails. Your glasses were way to big your face. My first thought was ‘wow she looks like an owl’, but then i saw you laugh at something on the page and my second thought was ‘i want to know her’. We were in middle school.” 

Green eyes connect with yours, “You still go there, i know. But anyway..this is. My place, i guess”. He purses his lips “i figure since i'm always intruding on your little sanctuary , i’d let you see mine” 

You take everything he just said in. He’d known about you, noticed you, since middle school? You hadn’t acknowledged him until sophomore year of highschool, hadn’t spoken to him since senior year, when this tug and pull had first begun between you two. You remembered that day, your mother wouldn't buy you the series so you’d relied on constantly re-reading the books at the library. It was around that time you began to see that place as something special, too. Tucked away from the world, you could lose yourself in another's story. It was like magic. And to realize eren had been there the whole time, had glimpsed that, realized that the library was your special place, that he’d even payed attention to your presentation in class at all in the first place...that he was here, showing you something of himself in return, even though you’d never asked. You’d wondered of course. 

Eren was an enigma, he was on most days, the bane of your existence. He had made your life a living hell on many occasions, but with that, he also made you feel more alive than ever before. He’d dragged you out of your bubble and challenged you to see the world beyond school and books and fiction, he raised your emotions and forced you to experience everything head on. Anger, confusion, happiness, anxiety, thrill, lust and…

You look at him. The way the moonlight curls into the car like a kind of mist, making his eyes look absolutely beautiful. The soft wave to his brown hair, his eyelashes, everything about him made you ache with desire. All the time, even when you swore you hated him, you wanted him. 

“Kiss me”. Its whispered out so low, for a moment you worry he might not hear it. Its the first time you’ve asked for him, reached for him first without his taunting to guide a confession from you. With this request, filling the air between you, you’re making it known that you want him, want this. It doesn’t change anything and yet it somehow changes everything. You can’t look in the mirror and tell yourself he doesn’t occupy your mind and your heart anymore. Not after this. 

Eren seems to realize this too, his intake of breath letting you know he heard you loud and clear. “__..” he says, inching closer. His eyes, dark now, are so very hungry as he closes in. In a moment his lips, soft, so soft, are on yours. You sigh into his kiss, opening for him easily when his tongue glides into your mouth. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, tenderly, thumb stroking it. God, you want to eat him, you want him to eat you. The wet smack of your lips fills the car as you hungrily nip, and suck, and kiss at each others lips. 

When eren pulls back, he’s panting, hair disheveled. You don’t remember when your hands first sunk into his hair, but they must have, messed up as it is now. He looks at you like he wants to devour you, he licks his lips. “I’m gonna put your seat back,” he tells you slowly, each word dripping with finality, “im going to kiss every inch of your body and then you’re opening those legs for me and letting me inside, baby” 

You don’t have it in you to act scandalised, you know what you want. You’d basically asked for it. You just nod, never taking your eyes off his face when he reaches down and pulls the lever. And then you feel yourself being tilted backwards as the seat goes back, laying you flat. Your chest heaves with barely contained need as eren then settles above you, every clothed inch of him hovering just barely above you. 

Holding your eyes, eren lowers himself. You spread your legs easily to accommodate him, gasping when you feel his clothed cock settle right against your clit through your leggings. He rocks once, gently, against you, his hair hanging over his forehead as he looks down at you with utter want in his eyes, “Want you to feel me”, he murmurs, and rocks again, “Wanna fill you up so good, you can’t ever pretend that im not apart of you. Because, this, baby?” Another rock, a shuddered moan leaving your lips, “This is it. No ones gonna fuck you like i do, no ones gonna get inside that little head and play the games we play so well together.” 

One of his hands trails up your thigh, dipping his hand under the fabric of your leggings and pulling them slightly down, he pecks your lips, once, twice, three times. “Tell me”, he groans into your mouth, peeling your clothes off you slowly, “Tell me you understand, Tell me this is everything” 

And you tell him. Tell him through your whimpers when he parts the folds of your slick cunt with his fingers buried inside you. Tell him through your moans into his mouth when he shoves his jeans down and splits you open on his cock. Tell him through sighs of his name, when he rocks into you, licking into your mouth as he spears you open. Tell him through the way you claw your fingers down his back when starts to fuck you hard, rocking the car with the force of his thrusts. Tell him through the way you spread your legs, even wider, toes curling as he wrings orgasm after orgasm out of your tight little pussy milking him. 

“Its everything, you’re everything…” You cry out again and again, clutching onto him as he pumps you full of his cum, groaning brokenly into your neck. 

“Fuck”. He pulls back to look down at you, brushing your damp hair back from your face, still inside you. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, you little nerd” 

[mercy-burning]

Fake Fiancée - Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader becomes rather possessive over Spencer when she learns he’s been been with someone else since they hooked up four months ago. Category: SMUT (18+) Content Warnings: Language, mutual masturbation, oral sex (male and female receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, hand-on-neck (no choking), praise, degradation kink, possession kink, dirty talk Word Count: 7.1k (I didn’t mean for it to get this long I swear aldjfsdlfksk)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 

MASTERLIST

NOTE: HERE IT IS!!! 🥰 Thank you all for showing so much love to Part 1, I seriously wasn’t expecting all the requests for more of the story, so it was fun coming up with ideas! I’m still not sure if I want to do 3 or 4 parts yet, but I’ll let you know soon! In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy reading this second installment! ❤

***

He's been a ghost in my head for four months.

Everywhere I went I could hear his voice, hear the way he whimpered out my name and how cries got higher and higher as I clenched around him. I felt the rough grip he held on my hips as I rode him, the pads of his fingertips leaving behind faint bruises that I currently wished I still had.

And more prominently, I saw his face. It was always in the back of my mind, burning into me with lust-drunk eyes and a pouty mouth in the shape of an O. It sizzled into my brain, the sound definitely sounding more like raindrops than fire, but I was more than okay with that.

Though, every time it rained, I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same— if he stood outside or watched from the safety of wherever he was and replayed that moment over and over again until he was aching to be in my presence once more.

I also had to wonder if he knew about the ring I'd left in his front seat.

Did he leave it in his car, perhaps in the glovebox or on a string that he tied around his mirror? Or did it fall somewhere between the seats? Maybe he found it and did what I never could, pawning it off for some happily-accepted cash while he laughed at how careless I was to take a stranger's virginity and then leave my expensive diamond ring behind like a fool.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the means to find out.

It's not like I could have wandered up to the FBI building and ask to meet with a Dr. Spencer Reid... Right? Because that as absurd. I'd only met the guy once, and he'd probably think I was crazy for trying to track him down.

It was a whole ordeal that I'd mulled over again and again, and I ultimately decided that it was ridiculous.

If anything I was happy to be rid of the ring. I could move on with my life, and maybe Spencer sold it for money or he's held on to it as a souvenir for a special night.

Win-win.

It didn't dull the small ache I felt for him, though. Every once in a while I found myself remembering how great that night was... I hadn't felt that way—sexy, confident, fun—in a long time, and as much as it sucked that he was getting picked on by some drunk idiots at a bar, I was glad it led me to him.

Some nights, when I was missing him significantly more than usual, I even went back to Waterson's in the event that I'd run into him again, hopefully under better circumstances.

Tonight was one of those nights.

This time I didn't have a ring to keep most of the men from hitting on me, but now that I was well and truly over my ex-husband, I was glad I didn't use that as an excuse to keep the ring around anymore. As annoying and painful as the drunken flirting was, I was way better equipped to handle it and truthfully somewhat relieved that I could get back to normal.

You know, save for the fact that I was only at Waterson's in the first place to maybe see some guy I hooked up with four months ago and still haven't stopped thinking about...

Because that was totally a normal thing to do.

I was on my second beer of the night when I felt a presence behind me. And even though I was pretty sure than I'd be able to tell if it was really Spencer, a part of me still buzzed thinking of the prospect of seeing him here again.

I turned around though, and was met with an entirely different person. I tried not to look disappointed, but it must have shown because the man who'd caught my attention gave a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, are you expecting someone?"

I liked to think that I had a good read on most people, especially when it came to men in bars. This man was someone I looked at for a few seconds and immediately knew that he wasn't looking to make me uncomfortable. He had come over to flirt with me, no doubt, but the difference here was that where most men would have gone straight into it, this man genuinely looked like he was willing to haul ass if I really was waiting for someone and didn't want his company.

That alone made me willing to entertain him a little, even if I was disappointed that he wasn't who I desperately wanted him to be. But it certainly helped that he was attractive.

The first word that came to mind was smooth. Even as I laughed back at the man and answered him, my eyes did some wandering of his figure and admired what I saw. A crisp, tight grey tee shirt that hugged some rather nice muscles, and brown skin that was just a few shades lighter than his eyes, which were kind and a little playful. His smile was stunning, sharing that same playfulness that his eyes held as he practically sparkled to life at my answer.

"Oh, no, I'm not... But I certainly wasn't expecting you..."

I made sure to smile at him, a little smirk that complimented the admiring eyes I was offering him and a little laugh that never failed to get me what I wanted.

He gently leaned into the bar, one of his hands coming to rest of the cool wooden surface. "I'm Derek."

"Y/N."

"Pretty name."

I don't know what made me so bold, but I nodded and shot him a wink. "Not as pretty as you."

We shared another laugh, and then I took a swig of my beer, finishing the last of it and then sliding towards him. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"We just met and you're already stealing from me... That's my line."

"What can I say, I'm quick... Hey, Carla! Can I get two more for me and my friend here?"

The bartender—and my longtime friend—laughed a little, taking my empty bottle. "Sure thing."

The look she gave me right before turning away practically yelled, I thought your type was helpless skinny white guys who can barely look you in the eye without creaming themselves...

Yeah, well, you worked with what you were given. And besides, my type was practically anyone with just a shred of decency.

Real high bar, huh?

But after Patrick, I couldn't complain. Derek seemed like the type of guy who would flirt with you at any given chance, but respected your boundaries all the same. Unfortunately that was hard to find nowadays, especially in bars like Waterson's.

So, yeah, he wasn't the man I was naively wishing to see here tonight, but he was into me, he was decent from what I could tell, and he was hot.

So we had a drink and spent a good twenty minutes chatting it up. Since it was my third beer of the night, I was accumulating a pretty steady buzz, and the longer I talked with Derek the more I opened up a little. I found myself leaning into him and finding excuses to lightly touch his arm, but I kept noticing that he was glancing down at his watch occasionally.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked, playfully.

"Right, uh... Yeah, I was supposed to be meeting a friend here. He's usually early, but I think we got our times mixed up again..."

"Again, huh? You two aren't very good coordinators?"

Derek laughed, the sound making me feel all warm. "Well, for FBI agents you'd think we'd be better at it."

"O—Oh," I said, my heart stopping for a beat. Had I heard that right? Was I more tipsy than I thought? "FBI?"

"You seem stunned," he said with another laugh. "What, you're not a criminal, are you? Do I have to take you in?"

I laughed, albeit nervously, but decided that this all had to be pure coincidence. If I didn't, I would have gone insane. Even still, it was difficult for me to sit here and openly flirt with this man when I knew he just confessed to having the same profession as the literal man of my dreams— and as of late that also included daydreams.

In fact, I was positive that's what it was when I saw Spencer approach us— a daydream.

Derek was calling my name, I knew that much, but I couldn't do anything but look over his shoulder where Spencer's ghost practically froze in place when he spotted me.

"Y/N?"

That wasn't Derek's voice. Spencer's mouth moved in time with the calling of my name, and it even sounded like him. I blinked rapidly, hoping that I could snap out of it and excuse myself for the rest of the night, so I could go home and sleep it off.

But even when I finished blinking, expecting Spencer's figure to be gone, he was still there.

At this point Derek had turned around, and what he said next snapped me out of it pretty damn good.

"Reid? You know her?"

"You're real," I said, speaking for the first time in a while. My throat felt dry, and my heart came alive at the sight of him.

Spencer stared at me, his eyes softening after I spoke to him. I saw his lips twitch into a shy smile before his hand came up in an equally shy wave. "Y—Yeah, I'm real." What followed was a huffed laugh that cemented his nervousness at seeing me again for the first time in four months, and it was the most refreshing thing I'd heard in a while.

"Oh my God," I said, a smile of my own starting to creep up.

I'd completely forgotten about Derek being there until he spoke up, snapping us out of our reunion, his voice conveying every range of confusion.

"What the hell is this?"

***

I knew there was always a minor chance that I'd run into her again, but it still rendered me utterly still and practically useless when I spotted her across the bar with Derek.

She was just... there. After months of debating whether or not I should send her a letter with the ring mailed back or stopping by to see her, or even using Garcia's help to find where she might have been so I could 'surprise' running into her... It happened to chance that I didn't need any of that at all. Because she was really there.

And she was flirting with Derek.

I'd have been lying if I said that didn't really bother me, but truthfully I'd always felt a bit insecure around him, mostly when it came to being surrounded by women who were most likely fawning over him instead of me.

Not that I particularly wanted or even needed them to fawn over me in the first place... It was just... Telling.

And it's not like I knew or thought I wasn't at least somewhat attractive. But seeing the one and only woman who'd ever made me feel very good about all of that for probably the first time in my whole life openly flirting with my best friend? It stung. It felt like now that she'd seen me and him in the same place, she'd decide that she'd made a mistake before and that she'd be better off with someone else— someone who was stronger and more skilled and probably easier to look at.

Even when the three of us sat at a booth and Y/N decided to sit next to me, her proximity dizzying after all this time apart, the first thought that came to my mind was, She doesn't want to see me. She'd much rather sit across from Derek so she can look at him instead.

I was starting to think maybe I should have stuck to mailing her a letter...

"So... Are you gonna tell me how you two know each other?" Derek asked, leaning back and easily amused.

Y/N seemed to be amused by all of this, too, because she answered immediately, a tone in her voice that I'd only dreamed about for four months and nine days straight.

"Oh, we were engaged."

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought Derek's eyebrows were going to fly straight off his head. "Engaged? Like... Engaged?"

"I—It's not what you think," I jumped in, suddenly a little embarrassed. "Not really engaged, but... Y/N pretended to be my fiancée once... There were, um... There were these guys who wouldn't leave me alone and she came over and told them off."

I hoped he wouldn't piece it together, but it was inevitable, and the look of realization that crossed his features made me feel extra warm with embarrassment.

"Oh... Is she the reason why you actually said yes to that date last month?"

Y/N turned to me, an eyebrow raised. "A date? Because of me? I don't... I don't follow..."

I was going to explain, but Derek beat me to it.

"I've always tried to set Pretty Boy here up for a date, but he's always said no, and then out of the blue I ask him and he agrees. Which was a shock in its own. I knew something was up, something had to have given him the confidence to go on the date... And all along its been you, hasn't it?"

"Well, I... I don't know, I guess so?"

They both looked at me then, and I stared down at my hands, unwilling to look either of them in the eye. "Y—Yeah... I don't know, I guess Y/N just... helped me see something in myself I hadn't seen before."

I half expected them to think it was silly, but Y/N's hand dropped down onto my knee and I stared at it for a moment before flitting my eyes up to meet her gaze. It was soft, and a small smile grazed her pretty features.

"Oh, Spencer, I'm so glad I could do that for you... How was the date?"

"O—Oh, it... It was fine. Not... I'm not seeing her anymore, but it wasn't bad... Just, um... There wasn't much of a connection, that's all."

In simpler words, She wasn't you.

But I couldn't tell her that, not when she was staring at me again with those sparkling eyes and her hand burning a hole through my pants with her electrifying touch, and most certainly not with Derek sitting right in front of us.

"Hey, whether it worked out or not, whatever you did to get him out there, it must have been one hell of a job," he said as if he'd been reading my thoughts.

Y/N gave me a knowing look, though, and suddenly I was transported to my car, feeling her hand explore my body as she showered me with filthy words and names that set me alight and cemented something about myself that I'd never known. Since then I had dreams about her, telling me how much of a 'good little whore' I was for her, and I always woke up from those dreams clutching her ring around my finger.

"Well, like I said, I'm glad I could help. Your boy here is one in a million."

It was awkward. This was all very extremely awkward. And even though I knew that, I still couldn't bring myself to stop it. I couldn't bring myself to stop staring at Y/N, soaking her all up like she was going to leave again at any given second. I couldn't stop thinking about her, our predicament, what we did and what I discovered about myself back then...

God, I was talking like we hadn't seen each other in years. It was only four months and yet I was acting like she'd left me alone after years of being together. This was ridiculous, right?

Thankfully Derek's phone rang, snapping us all out of the bubble of silence we'd been in for what seemed like forever.

"Uh, I'm gonna... get this. Be back in a few."

I expected Y/N to drop whatever act it was she had going on with me after he left the table, but her hand remained firmly on my knee. And then she moved a little closer, turning to me completely and tilting her head with a smile that only meant mischief.

"So... Looks like we have some catching up to do..."

***

I was practically giddy when Derek excused himself for a "Garcia Emergency". Though, I was concerned until he assured us that it wasn't anything bad, and by the look on his face as he quickly talked things over With Spencer, I got the feeling he was expecting his friend to 'have some fun' tonight. And that's what truly made me giddy.

We sat close to each other again, a few drinks between us and only a few booths away from the one we sat in the first time we met. If it weren't for the rock missing from my finger, I would have been convinced we'd actually transported back to that exact moment.

"You getting Deja vu, Doctor?" I asked with a smile, watching as he swallowed.

"Y—Yeah, kinda. It's great seeing you again, I... I really didn't think I would."

I laughed. "You know where I live, and you're an FBI agent... I'm pretty sure you could have saw me again if you wanted to."

"Well... Yeah, but I didn't want to be creepy or anything..."

"Trust me... If you randomly showed up at my door, I'd be anything but creeped out. I missed you..."

Spencer looked up at me for a moment, his eyes shifting before he seemed to relax. "You... did?"

"Of course... I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met. And I hope that's not creepy," I added in a laugh.

"No, not at all," he reassured with a nervous laugh of his own. "Actually, um... I've been thinking about you a lot, too..."

"Even on your date?"

I'd only meant it as a little joke, maybe another conversation starter, but at the mention he seemed... embarrassed.

"Oh, no, that was... That wasn't really... I—I only really did it to get Derek off my back, it—"

I rested a hand on his arm and smiled gently. "Hey, it's alright... I didn't really mean anything by that, I'm just... I meant it before, I'm really glad you did it. I know you said it didn't really work out, but did you have some fun at least?"

He laughed again, but this time there was hardly any humor in it. "Well, she wasn't you..."

I smiled a bit, but immediately following his words was a wide-eyed terror and instant regret. "Oh, I didn't... I'm sorry, I—"

"So, you did think about me on your date, huh?"

He froze then, presumably at the low, seductive drawl I blanketed over my words. His mouth slightly hung open, tongue flittering behind teeth as he tried to find the right words.

I smiled at him, and then he settled on, "Yeah. I did."

"It's not very polite to think of other girls while you're on a date, you know..." I made sure to let him know I was only teasing, and that I just wanted to know what his reaction would be.

Still, he surprised me when he said, "It's not my fault you're impossible to forget..."

He flashed me a smile then, and my stomach twisted deliciously at the little dash of confidence he'd grown in the past minute.

Maybe I could bring more out of him...

"Okay, fair... But it is your fault that you didn't come find me."

"Also fair... But... You're here now..."

Spencer inched closer to me, and I smiled, taking my bottom lip gently between my teeth before leaning in, too. "How about that..."

Our lips brushed for a second, so gentle it was like being tickled by a feather, and then he spoke again, his breath hot on my mouth. "I've... dreamt about seeing you again for so long now... Kissing you..."

"Me, too," I responded, bringing a hand down to graze the inside of his thigh. "Guess it's a good thing I'm a firm believer that dreams come true."

"Yeah," is all he said before he finally took the initiative to finally kiss me.

I sighed, melting into his touch and tightening the grip I had on his leg. Meanwhile his hands rested at my forearms, fingers dancing experimentally over my skin and making me tingle in their wake. And once I parted my lips, he took his shot and gently brought his tongue out to meet mine in a collision that quite frankly made me throb.

He'd been a decent kisser before, but... It's obvious he's had a little practice since then. Not that I'd have minded either way, but damn if this newfound experience didn't give me the most sinful idea.

I felt him whine as I pulled away, and that made everything even better.

"You wanna get out of here?" I said in the cheesiest way possible. But he didn't seem to mind.

In fact, he nodded rapidly and took a quick drink of his beer before following me out of the booth and towards the door.

***

Leading Spencer up and through the doorway of my house was probably the most electrifying 'date' experience I've had... well, ever. I'd been excited to sleep with people, sure, but with Spencer I found something greater. I wasn't entirely sure what that was, yet, but it was definitely good.

He reiterated that thought nicely once the door was closed and his hands were on my face, bringing my mouth to his again while I dropped by keys and haphazardly threw my phone and wallet on the side-table next to us in favor of gripping his shirt.

Just through his kisses I could tell how much he'd longed for this moment. I know he told me, and I'd certainly understood the feeling, but when it came down to actually acting it out in the flesh, I was much more in favor of that method of communication.

I gladly accepted his wordless confessions, through every groan and gentle graze of his tongue that he offered to me. And in return I gave him sharp tugs of his shirt and hair, conveying my urgency and the need to be closer to him.

When my legs started moving, his did, too, and we reluctantly pulled apart in favor of not tripping up the hard wooden staircase on the way to my bedroom. Though, I was thankful he was in just as much of a rush as I was, because otherwise I probably would have gotten embarrassed.

And that didn't happen easily.

I fumbled for the light switch once the door shut and our mouths connected once again, and I could have sworn it was like something out of a trashy TV show. The thought almost made me laugh, but I held it in in favor of moaning when Spencer lowered his hands to my ass and squeezed, pulling us closer together. I finally hit the light switch and then flow both of my arms to wrap around his neck and draw him even closer.

He was everywhere all at once, and it fueled me. I'd come to miss physical human interaction, but I hadn't realized how badly I craved it until he was right there, taking up all of my personal space and aiding me in creating this perfect recipe of frantic, glorious electricity.

It was going to kill me, and I would have gladly let it.

I experimentally rolled my hips forward and felt him gasp into me, and it wasn't long before he started growing hard.

Good... Now I could set the plan in motion.

"Remember what you told me?" I asked breathlessly before our heads switched sides and leaned in for more kisses.

In between them, he returned, "When?"

"The first time we met..." I trailed my lips down the column of his throat as I continued. "When you said you edged yourself..."

"O—Oh... Yeah, I remember."

"Mmm," I hummed, sucking a mark into his neck for the time being. As I did it, the grip he held on my ass tightened a bit, and I laughed lightly over his skin, slowly licking my way up to his ear. "I wanna see..."

The trembling he provided under my influence was a good sign. And then another came when he whispered. "Y—You want to see... me? Touching myself?"

"Mhmm..." I planted kisses all along his jaw before pulling back to look him in the eye, making sure he knew I was serious when I told him, "But only if that's okay with you."

He didn't even take a second to think, nodding rapidly once more and giving me a flash of a smile. "It's okay."

I hummed happily, leaning forward to give him one huge kiss, long and hard, before pulling away from him completely and nodding towards the bed. "Clothes off..."

Our hands got to work as soon as the words left my mouth.

And it wasn't until my shirt was on the ground and Spencer's eyes remained glued to my chest with trembling hands that I realized, even though we'd slept together before, our clothes had never actually come off. Tonight we were completely baring ourselves to each other, and that was somehow more intimate than the idea of taking his virginity was.

I reached out and grabbed his shirt, gently assisting him in removing it, and it must have snapped him out of wherever he'd gotten trapped because he shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, averting his eyes from me and staring at the ground.

"S–Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for," I reassured, throwing his shirt to the ground next to mine and bringing his hands to rest on my bare stomach, slowly sliding them up. "I like when you look at me..."

His eyes reached mine once again, breath hitching as I guided his hands to cup my breasts over the bra. "Well, I... I like looking at you."

I kissed him again, hoping to bring forth some familiarity to our current routine, and it worked like a charm. Our movements were slow and steady, each article of clothing joining the floor one by one until we were down to nothing but my underwear.

I led him to the bed then, breaking us apart and making him sit. Now that I was taller than him, I gripped his chin in my hand and tilted his head up to look at me.

"Lay back for me?"

He scooted further along the bed until finally he leaned back, his head resting nicely on my pillows. I climbed up after him, kneeling at his feet and bringing a hand down trace lines along the inside of his thigh. Meanwhile I looked him up and down, finally getting a decent look at his full, bare form.

"Ohh, so pretty... And I bet you're even prettier when you're touching yourself... You wanna start?"

He reached out for his dick in answer, wrapping a delicate hand around it and slowly stroking up and down as he looked up at me with the stars in his eyes. "Like this?"

"However you normally do it, baby. Just relax. Make yourself feel good..."

After a slight nod, his hand picked up a little speed. He swiped his thumb over the tip to gather some precum for lubrication, but as hot as that was, I had a better idea.

"Here, let me help," I offered with a smile, leaning down and bracing my hands on his knees. I let spit gather on the end of my tongue before allowing it to drip down and land right on the tip of his cock. The sound he let out, broken and dripping with want, sent a jolt of electricity through my blood, only amplified by how wet he sounded once he started moving his hand again.

I let my eyes roam all over, taking in every heave of his chest, the veins in his arm and hand as he worked himself, the soft fluttering of his eyes as he lost himself in the moment... At the risk of sounding absolutely cheesy, it truly was a magical sight. I felt entirely lucky that I got to see him again at all, and now like this, bare and vulnerable and exuding lust while I was left to my own devices.

All that to say, I hadn't realized I was touching myself as well, until a whimper came from my mouth, my clit gently throbbing with stimulation at the hands of... well, my hand.

Upon seeing me, Spencer let out a whine of his own, picking up speed with his hand and throwing his head back onto the pillow.

"Y/N..."

He wasn't addressing me, wasn't asking me anything at all... My name on his lips was more of a declaration, like some type of chant, a string of letters and syllables formed specifically to bring him closer to the edge he knew he'd have to resist falling from.

"You getting there, baby?"

"U—Uh huh..."

"You better hold it," I drawled lowly, bringing myself into the more strict persona I wanted to bring out tonight, given that's still something he was into. "Just like you promised."

After a few more hard strokes of his hand, Spencer leg to quickly, bringing his hand to rest on his chest as his mouth let out the most delicious whines and grunts of determination to keep it all in. Without the stimulation, I noticed his dick slightly twitching over his stomach, glistening and  hard...

Fuck, if it wasn't the hottest fucking thing I'd ever experienced with my own eyes and ears...

I pulled my hand out of my underwear, too, still a little shocked that I hadn't realized before that I was doing it to myself and a little turned on at the fact that it had that big of an effect on him.

"I—I would have been able to go longer, but... But you were there, and you were... And I only ever have you in my head, not right in front of me..."

It was obvious that he was probably afraid he'd let me down somehow, and that was definitely not the case. So I leaned down and dragged my hands over his lower stomach, feeling inch of skin while my mouth came down to press featherlight kisses to the base of his dick. "Spence, that was hot as fuck... You really think of me when you do that?"

"Mhm," is all he offered, currently reveling in the way my tongue darted out to explore the lines of his cock.

"I think of you, too," I admitted, pausing to press a kiss to the underside of his tip. "When I touch myself... I think about how pretty you were the first time I called you a slut... Tell me, baby, you still like that?"

"God, Y/N, yes..."

I sucked gently on his tip now, watching as he watched me, his bottom lip occupied between his teeth and his eyes on the brink of closing.

He was getting close again. So I stopped, pulling off of him with a soft pop and smiling as I crawled up his body and planted a kiss to his cheek. My legs straddled his hips, and I got close to his ear.

"Tell me, what about this... other girl you went on a date with... Did you sleep with her?"

"Um... Y—yes..."

"I'm willing to bet she didn't make you feel half as good as I do..."

"She didn't..."

I smiled against his jaw, bringing one of my hands to stroke his hair. "Was she mean to you? Did she make you her dirty little whore?"

I could feel him let out a trembling breath as he answered, "No."

"That's right," I said softly, right before switching gears and tugging on his hair, pulling back to look in his eyes. "Because you're my dirty little whore."

His cock twitched along my ass at my words, and it made me smile. But before I could speak again, he did it first.

"I'm all yours, Y/N... No one else's..."

I couldn't help it then. His words, our position, the needy look in his eyes as he confessed this to me... All of it was enough to make me snap.

So I leaned in and kissed him, hard. My hands tangled in his hair while his flew to my waist, sliding down to play with the hem of my underwear as his tongue slipped into my mouth and against my own with ease. I swallowed each whine with the greatest pleasure, my hips involuntarily grinding down and spreading the evidence of my arousal along the fabric of my panties. I wondered then if he could feel how wet I was, how much I wanted him.

I didn't have to wonder for long though, because he slipped one of his hands around front and dipped into said fabric, finding how wet I was and groaning into my mouth at the feel of it.

"You've been dying to get another try at this pussy, haven't you?" I whispered into his mouth.

Unsurprisingly, I was met with a whine in return. "Uh huh... I missed you so much..."

I ground down into his hand, nipping at his lips a little before giving my next demand.

"Then prove it."

Rather than fingering me like I expected him to, Spencer rolled over and straddled my legs, tearing my panties down and leaving me with a smile.

"I love the confidence you've grown, baby boy... Proves how dedicated you are... to being the best little slut you can be."

"Yes, Y/N," he responded, leaning down and kissing the inside of my thigh. "I wanna be good for you... Let me show you, please..."

"Show me..."

His tongue came in contact with my pussy, and it immediately sent my head flying back into the pillows, a low whine escaping my throat. He flicked it over my clit expertly a few times before going down and licking a broad strip up the entire area. Vibrations flittered along his path through his groans, and just hearing how much he enjoyed it had me clenching the sheets for stability.

"Ohh, what a good boy," I praised, bringing one of my hands to stroke his hair back. "Who's my good little whore?"

He grumbled into me, but I tugged at his hair.

"Say it."

He pulled away briefly then, still in contact with my pussy as he breathed out, "I'm your good little whore..." And then he promptly got back to work, devouring me with a hungry precision that made me laugh.

"Needy, too, I see... So desperate for that cunt..."

"Yes, " I heard him mumble into me. He repeated it a few more times, chanting it as his tongue flicked through me and tasted every last drop of my impending orgasm.

I sat up a little and held his head to me, his tongue moving at a quicker, more relentless pace. My stomach started to twist and my legs clenched, holding Spencer firmly between my legs as my hips rolled forward and met his every movement. Moans fell sweetly off my lips with every second, getting higher and higher until I finally held myself still and let the high take over. His tongue drew out one of the sharpest orgasms I'd ever had, the fervor he delivered making me see stars for a solid twenty to thirty seconds before it finally subsided and my muscles started to relax.

"Fuck," I breathed, almost whining when he removed his mouth from me and just kneeled there, studying my form as I tried to catch my breath. "Get up here," I asked more than demanded, though it might have been hard to tell what with my head spinning.

Spencer climbed over my body and I pulled his face down into a warm, wet kiss that had me tasting myself and growing wet again at the taste. I pulled away then, looking into his eyes and playing with his hair.

"I can't believe you didn't come see me sooner... Depriving me of that pretty fucking mouth..."

He kissed me again briefly, whining into my mouth before I continued. "But no... You were busy going on dates..."

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said, kissing my cheek softly, over and over as his lips made their way down to my neck. "I'm so sorry, I... I wanted to see you, I just..."

"I know, I know," I cooed, closing my eyes and relishing in the feel of his lips on my skin. "But tonight you're gonna make up for lost time, got it?"

"Yes... Yes, I'll do whatever you want..."

I hummed, bringing his head back up to meet his gaze, and my thumb stroked over his bottom lip. "I want you to put that pretty cock to good use and fuck me like the desperate little slut I know you are..."

I kissed him then, gasping out once he shifted his hips and entered me slowly— I knew he was going to get to it quickly, but I guess I'd underestimated his need to please me.

The sentiment had me curling with want, more of it coming when he bottomed out inside me and trembled. Really, I could feel him shaking as he started to pull out and then back in, setting a steady pace that would surely become more erratic once I started talking to him again.

"Shit..." Spencer cursed, shifting up on his arms for more leverage as he steadily drilled into me. "I m—missed this... Missed you..."

"I know, baby, I know... I missed you, too... And you know what else?"

I drifted one of my hands down in between us, spreading out my fingers so that his cock fit nicely between them as he fucked me. The added friction of my fingers had him whining out, dropping his head down so that his ear was right by my mouth.

I whispered. "So did my pussy... So you better fuck her good..."

The sudden brutal velocity in which he slammed his hips against mine felt like a strike of lightning, and the loud groan he let out against my neck was the thunder. Everything shifted then, Spencer lifting himself up and holding onto my legs as he drilled into me at full force, his body glistening with exertion and my own succumbing to his wind.

"Yeah, that's it," I cooed through a laugh of pure pride. "That's a good fucking whore... Giving me that cock like I own it..."

"Y—You... do," he stuttered through a broken whine. He was getting close again, and I knew just the thing to do the trick.

I reached my hand up to hold his neck, not applying any pressure, but just holding as I forced his eyes down to look at me. "That's right... That slutty cock is mine... Now give it to me..."

The end of my sentence was punctuated with a sharp cry out as another orgasm tore through me. I shouted Spencer's name into the abyss as He fucked me through it and started twitching inside me, signaling his end as well. And the added warmth from his cum as it coated my insides well and truly marked me as his, despite the words we'd just exchanged.

I belonged to him just as much as he did to me, and I wondered if he knew that. If he knew just how much he inhabited my every thought.

I wanted him to know that I was practically infatuated with him.

But that conversation could wait until after we were... settled down.

He was still inside me as he slumped forward, laying his head on my chest and rubbing lines into my forearm.

"You okay?" I asked gently, combing through his hair with my fingers.

"Most definitely... Just... tired."

I smiled, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "You're welcome to stay here for the night..."

He was silent for a long while, almost so long that I thought he'd actually fallen asleep. But then he said, "Right here? With you?" and my heart soared.

"Of course."

Truthfully, I'd have let him stay forever.

But when I opened my eyes the next morning, the other side of the bed was cold, and his body was nowhere to be found.

***

Dear Y/N,

I'm sorry for leaving you alone last week. I know you must be a little hurt and confused, but if you aren't, then just forget I ever said anything.

Nonetheless, I regretted leaving you behind last time without at the very least sending you a letter, so I hope this one finds you well. After all, you have shown me experiences I never could have imagined enjoying as much as I did, so I should thank you for that.

But that's not all that this letter is for.

I also want to invite you out to dinner some time. I know this might be a little unconventional, but given how we met and also how we reunited, I figured this would be a fun, romantic way to ask you out. I understand if you don't feel that way given that I've more or less abandoned you twice now, but I promise it was all for good reason.

If you'd like to talk more, about anything I've disclosed in this letter, I've attached my phone number below, otherwise I'd love to hear back from you. I know this sounds strange, but I've been dying to know what your handwriting looks like. I bet it's pretty, like you.

Once again, I am truly sorry for leaving you behind without a word, but I want a chance to make it up to you. Please say you'll reach out. Otherwise, I know where to find you if you'd rather I make some cheesy romantic comedy—esque gesture of affection that either makes you fall in love with me or hate me.

Yours, Spencer Reid

***

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[jameui]

SPECIAL PRESENT 3

Requested

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Jung Yunoh x College Student!M!Reader (featuring: Bestfriend!Lee Jeno)

GENRE: Fluff, Smut

WARNINGS: Unprotected intercourse, huge age gap, a lot of IMPORTANT flashbacks (i think), daddy kink, sex toys, overstimulation

SUMMARY: You were a striving student in Resonance High and had perfect records. Besides your devotion to your education, you were also gifted with a talent. All these stuffs making your sugar daddy, Jaehyun, proud of you, so he decided to give you a night you won't forget.

You whimpered at him like a puppy, your eyes falling down on the items he had took from your hands. It was a pink wireless vibrator that took the shape of a pill, but bigger and a dildo that almost looked exactly as a male's genital. He watched you as you got yourself naked, removing every fabric that covered your body and blushed bashfully when you saw that Jaehyun's eyes never left your naked body. "Daddy~"

He got himself growling from your state and demanded of you quickly. "On all fours now, baby boy. Let's see how these toys work." You nodded into submission and climbed the bed, with all your limbs helping you walk, before you planted your face on the mattress breathing heavily, your ass perked up while your gaping hole clenched on nothing. He marvelled at your current position and started to palm himself while groaning and grunting from the sight of your thick ass. Getting the thought that you were already feeling lonely he stripped himself off from his boxer shorts and joined you in bed. "Look at you, baby." He said, teasing you by tracing the tip of the dildo on your crack.

"Daddy... please, put it in." You whined and earned a 'tsk' from Jaehyun who shook his head.

"Would you rather have this than mine, M/n?" He asked you before he out of the blue inserted a finger inside your hole making you wince from the sudden intrusion. "And I also heard, you're school records was beyond remarkable. Is that right, baby boy?" You eagerly nodded your head and hissed when Jaehyun decided to add one more finger inside you. "That's my boy. I guess you weren't lying when you said you were studying 'til the late night." He started to move his fingers in and out of you, moaning loudly when you felt his long, slender finger brush up against that bundle of nerves that made you feel so good. "Oh? That fast?"

"Daddy.. you're fingers... so long." You moaned out.

Jaehyun still found it fascinating how every words that came out of your mouth made him feel all sorts of thing every time. He propped himself on his elbows and neared your ear. "Wanna take something more, baby?" You nodded your hand before he pulled his fingers out of you. "Brace yourself." He told you, then proceeded to prod your entrance with the dick shaped dildo to tease you. "I wanted to tease you more, but good kids deserve a reward." He said, before he slowly, inches by inches, inserted the dildo into your ass, as you fisted the blankets underneath you from the pain that overwhelmed your whole system.

"Ah! Fuck! Daddy! It hurts, t-take it out, daddy. Please!" You begged, but he only shushed you and gave your back a few kisses as he continued to push the dick in you. "Fuuuckk!" You cursed, biting on your arm to try and ease the pain.

He noticed your struggling and stopped immediately. "Baby, color?"

You hesitated first before you replied. "G-green." He, then, moved the toy up and down and soon the pain subsided, being replaced with the feeling of pleasure. "Oh~ Faster, daddy.." You politely asked and he granted your request, by sliding the dildo in and out of you at a faster pace making you moan so loudly that even the neighbors would be able to hear you. "Ah, hah.. Hnnah~"

"Fuck..." Jaehyun grunted out, feeling his dick become erect from your current state. He continued to do this a few more times and decided that he couldn't take it anymore and took the dildo out your ass to replace it with his own. "Sorry, baby. I can't hold myself back anymore. Ready to take daddy's cock. Hmm?" He took his cock and jerked himself off a few times before he heard your reply.

"Yes, daddy. Please, fuck me with your big cock." The words came out more like a moan than an actual sentence, making Jaehyun chuckle. "I don't care if it hurts, daddy. I want you to rearrange my guts, fill me up with your cum and, fuck me until I can't even remember my own name~"

He growled at you before he turned you on your back and loomed over you like he was a predator hungry for his prey. "As you wish, my M/n." He said before he raised your legs and placed them over his shoulders, aligning himself in front of your as he poked you with the tip of his dick. "I'm going in, baby." He informed you.

"Yes, dadd—OH! Ah!" You screamed out violently when his large member started to enter your tight hole, as he calmed you down by distracting you with a passionate kiss, suddenly forgetting about the pain that was resonating in your ass. Your hands made its way up to his back, memorizing every build, every muscle in his body, and reached up to intertwine your fingers with his soft brown locks.

He licked on your bottom lip to ask for entrance and you complied, opening your mouth to let his tongue enter your wet mouth and swirled his tongue together with yours, dancing to a rhythm only you both knew how to produce. He would pull away from you only to catch his breathe, then putting his mouth back to yours working with his tongue and yours.

Once he was finally balls deep inside of you, you felt a moan come out of your mouth, Jaehyun swallowing the lewd noise that came out from you. He pulled away from your lips, a string of saliva connecting the both of you, wiping it away with the base of his hand. He placed small kisses on your chest, leading up to your collarbone, then to your jaws, then back to the mark he created on you last night. "This is a sign that you are mine, M/n. And only mine." He said, sucking on that particular area making you moan.

"Daddy... you.. you can move now." You told him coyly burying your head on his shoulders.

He knelt back up and held the back of your knees and placed them close to your chest, this way getting a better angle that would hit your good spot right on. He started to move at a slow pace, making you shudder in your place. He leaned in closer to you so he could place wet kisses on your neck, sucking momentarily for sure, leaving a hickey the next morning you wake up.

He gradually sped up his pace and grunted with how tight your walls clenched around him. "Baby, you're so fucking tight." He gritted out and then, increased his pace making you arch your back, letting out strings of moans that expressed how much you were in bliss from the sensation he gave you.

But, you felt something was missing. You could feel him moving inside you. You could feel him reach your stomach. You could feel every vein that pulsated on his cock and so what was— "AH!" You let out yet another lewd noise from your mouth, the moment Jaehyun had hit your prostate and smirked.

"Found it." He chuckled darkly and pulled himself out up to the tip of his cock, before slamming back into you hitting that same spot that made you moan so loudly. He did the step a few more times, then started to thrust at a very fast pace that got you rolling your eyes to the back of your head. "Ah, fuck! Baby!"

Your hands on his back, dug deep into his skin gaining a groan from him as he fastened his pace once more. "Ah! Yes, yes! That feels so good, daddy! You're so deep inside me! Mnnhh~"

As Jaehyun made his way with you, you felt your own member slap against your stomach as you reached for it only to get your hand slapped away. "I get to be the only one touching you, baby. Don't even think of jerking off." He scolded you before his hip thrusting became very inhumane and started to fuck you like he was a bunny in heat. Your tongue rolled out of your mouth, drool running down your chin while Jaehyun continued to fuck you like a ragdoll.

He singlehandedly moved you to another position, Jaehyun sitting down on the bed with you placed on his lap. He looked up at you while you down at him, staring deeply into his eyes before he thrusted up at you making you moan and hum from satisfaction, smiling lewdly as you pulled your head back. He thrusted so deep into you that whenever he reached the furthest inside you, a prominent shape of his dick appeared on your stomach. "Daddy... so deep—AHH!"

Suddenly, you felt that same knot feeling in your stomach as you started to near your climax. "I-I'm near, daddy."

"Already? I'm still not even near from cumming." He said and thrusted back up at you sharply, each thrust gaining a moan from you. "Then, cum for me, baby."

Permission granted, you moaned out in pleasure, climaxing into your stomach and his, some reaching his face. He wiped it with his thumb and licked his finger clean that surprised you. "You taste so sweet, M/n." Then, he trusted back at you with a very mind-breaking pace.

Jaehyun was recently done from his first climax and here you were, already lost count of how much you came from the overstimulation. You panted heavily as you flopped down on the bed exhausted. "Already tired, baby?" He asked you with a worried tone and you nodded quietly in reply. "Well, too bad. I was just getting started." He chuckled deeply and continued to work his deed, fucking you like a you were a lifeless body of a person.

And that went on the whole night, the whole neighborhood having to cover their ears from your arousing noises that emitted from your house.

------

The next day, you were in a lot of pain. As you limped your way to your class' booth, a smug smile on Jeno's face. "L—"

"Not even a word from you, Lee. I'm in excruciating pain, right now and I don't wanna hear you talk." You said, but once you saw Jaemin your face immediately lit up and called out to him. "Jaemin!" You said and tried to run to him, forgetting about the pain you felt on your bottom. "Ah fuck!"

Jaemin ran to you and helped you up with a chuckle. "You okay there, bud?"

"Yeah.. Just a little sore."

Jeno was in disbelief as he scoffed angrily and walked off. "Fine. I didn't want to talk to you, anyways." He huffed and left.

"M/n, you forgot your lunch." Jaehyun's honey like voice came from behind you, turning towards him to glare at him. He pouted at you and kissed your cheek. "You still angry?"

"Okay. I'm in total pain because of you and you didn't listen to me even when I was already yelling the word 'red'!" You huffed and blushed when he gave you a raised brow, knowing just how much you liked it. "Don't give me that look."

He chuckled and gave you a kiss on your lips and hugged you. "I'm so glad you gave me the chance to be your boyfriend, M/n."

"As you should."

[loveazumane]

— 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧.

summary: sleepover saturdays were very special, especially because you get to spend the night with your best friend yachi

warnings: nsfw. fxf. cunnilingus (oral). mentions of alcohol. mentions of cheating. characters are adults and are out of high school.

word count: 1.5k

yachi hitoka was your best friend, and for as long as she could remember, she had the fattest crush on you since high school.

as best friends, you would have never suspected yachi of all people to hide secrets from you. but when you found out that she had a crush on you, you felt delighted and your feelings for her only sparked from friendship to something more.

at first, it was a silly little school crush that the both of you were afraid of pursuing. you were two girls, inexperienced in the dating department, and her mom was especially strict when it came to letting her go out.

a proper date would have been out of the question.

however, the more you stalled in admitting you had feelings for her too, soon enough, yachi had found herself a boyfriend and you were left with despair.

yachi had been spending more time with her boyfriend than you and you felt you were being isolated. but you weren’t able to give up so easily on what you wanted—especially when it came to someone like yachi.

so when you asked yachi to spend the night on a saturday, like you both would always do, you were relieved that yachi had agreed. “sleepover saturdays” were a sacred thing after all, and if you had never asked, yachi would have never thought to question you about it.

the two of you were cuddled together on the couch, your favorite movie, “jennifer’s body,” playing on the tv. it had been a while that you both watched the movie that you forgot there was a steamy scene in which two women characters made out with each other.

the beer glass bottles that were sitting empty on the table glistened as the scene began to play and you shuffled a little in your position, trying to get comfortable. the tension in the air was thick and heavy with lust—or maybe it was with the alcohol in your body that was making you feel a certain way.

as you watch the scene play, your mind begins to wander. what if that were you and yachi? unbeknownst to you, yachi was also wondering the same thing. what if that were you and her?

yachi clenches her thighs together to stop the throbbing between her legs and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

without thinking, you say, “are you horny?”

yachi glows a bright red and her head tilts up to look at you in shock and embarrassment. “i-i didn’t mean to be! i just…”

“it’s okay, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” you were being so bold, but that was what you planned to do, even though it came at an unforeseen circumstance. “i am too.”

yachi heats up even more. she knows she should pull away when she notices the two of your bodies begin to gravitate closer—she had a boyfriend for crying out loud!—but she was just so attracted to you and the feelings she tried to bury were still prominent.

eventually, your lips touch, and you can taste the bitter and sweet mixture of the flavored alcohol the two of you had consumed just a few minutes before watching the movie. the feeling of your lips against yachi was incredible. her lips were small and soft, and her tongue was delicate when it danced around yours.

a soft moan erupts from yachi and it gives you a signal to start caressing your hand over her body. you’re afraid she might stop you, but to your relief, she doesn’t. you continue roaming your hand down her waist until it grips her ass. another moan falls and she has to pull away and take breath from your greedy lips. when she does, you take the opportunity to pepper kisses down her neck that smells like baby powder and jasmines.

the movie you guys were watching was now drowned out by the soft breaths and moans falling from the both of your lips. even the air is thick and heavy from the heated make out session and lust that hangs in the room. as you travel your kisses down further, between the valley of her breasts and the softness of her stomach, you realize that she’s willingly giving her body to you.

“please,” she whispers. “touch me more. touch me down there.”

it was almost inaudible, but you can hear her. of course you can. your ears are perked up at its utmost attention and the sound of her precious voice would never go unnoticed.

you pull down yachi’s cotton shorts from her legs and it reveals her pink panties that have a darkened wet patch over her core. at the sight of it, you can feel yourself grow wet and you rub your legs together for some relief.

“you’re so cute, yachi. you’re already so wet for me,” you hum softly.

you press down against her clothed clit and she instantly arches and moans. “y/n…”

“hm?” you hum in response, looking up at her with dazed eyes.

“please…” yachi’s embarrassed to even say what she wants and she hides her face with the palm of her hands.

“you want my tongue?” you ask. you know she’d be too shy to admit it anyway. “yes or no?”

“y-yes,” she stutters.

you smile and tug away her panties, watching a string of arousal stretch as it separates from her wet cunt. you lick your lips in anticipation and take your time to admire how her folds are glistening under the flicking lights of the tv.

“your pussy is so cute, yachi,” you tell her. “it’s because you’re so wet for me.”

“p-please don’t say things like that, y/n! it’s embarrassing,” she squeals.

you giggle and slide your finger through the slick folds of her pussy. she gasps and you lick your lips again. “but i’m telling the truth. such a cute little pussy. i bet it tastes even better.”

before yachi can speak, you delve your tongue, swiping it over her clit. yachi gasps and her head falls back with her mouth gaping open. instead of taking in the view, you do your best to pleasure yachi by swirling your tongue around the sensitive bundle of nerves before lapping at her leaking hole.

“f—oh… it’s s-so good,” yachi stutters. “you’re so good.”

you hum in response, sending a wave of vibration through her pussy and she trembles underneath you. her toes curl as you continue your ministrations. your tongue laps greedily at her wet cunt and swirls around her clit at an incredible pace that yachi can feel herself slowly coming close to her orgasm.

in instinct, yachi’s thighs begin to squeeze close and you quickly snatch her legs and spread them wide. there wasn’t a chance you would let her stop you from devouring her pussy. just as you thought, she tasted so sweet on your tongue. the sounds coming out of her mouth were just as sweet too.

“i’m c-cumming,” yachi moans.

your eyes finally flicker up to see yachi panting and glowing pink. she’s truly feeling so sensitive to the way you lap at her needy pussy and it awakens a tingling need inside of you. you begin to rub yourself down on the couch as if it could give you some sort of relief. you wished you could just reach down your hand and play with your throbbing clit, but you’re dead set on holding yachi from squeezing your head and letting her cum.

finally, after your tongue presses against her pink bud, yachi screams in pleasure as her orgasm washes over her. her pussy clenches around nothing and flutters when you pull away to watch the cum dribble out her hole. you look back at yachi and see her so out of breath. most of all, her facial expression is written with satisfaction and it only has you scoffing. what would her boyfriend think of this?

what seemed to be a sleepover turned into something more.

“that felt so good,” she says, looking down at you with heavy lidded eyes.

you smile up at her. “it did, didn’t it? but i’m not done.”

you had just gotten a little taste of her. how could you give up now? you lean down once more and your tongue collects her drizzled cum and you swallow it. the taste lingers in your buds, and when it’s about to ease away, you go for another drink again. yachi flinches and arches and her hand darts down to grasp onto your hair.

“w-wait! i’m still sensitive,” yachi pleads.

you smile up at her. “i don’t really care if you are. i’m going to be enjoying your pussy until i’m satisfied.”

and yachi, as your best friend, knows that much. when you dive down and play at her clit again, she can’t even form words. all she can do is bathe in the abundance of pleasure you’re giving her. and from then on, sleepover saturdays extended to sundays… sometimes mondays… and eventually becoming a natural daily thing. but poor yachi’s boyfriend. he could have never guessed that his girlfriend was getting cunnilingus on your couch while yachi slept over at your house.

𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧́ 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙚: love prep room

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 26 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word Count: 11k

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Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

Sweat beaded down his neck as he noticed the sun going down, shit if he didn’t start running faster he was going to be late…! Jungkook didn’t make any effort to stop by the two girls who had obviously been hoping to talk to him. He didn’t have time for that, not when he just got this next round of pay. 

Pausing at the cracked pavement of the apartment building he took a deep breath, wiping the sweat from his brow before calming himself down, inner excitement buzzing inside him as he felt accomplished. Five hundred, that was the number he had made this week. Five hundred, that would be enough for food…! Or- or maybe they could squeeze rent in with it too!

Jungkook felt giddy as passed by the dead brush of old flowers, the paint chipping off the side of the wall by the front door just as it always did, vaguely he could remember when his mom complained about never living somewhere nice.

Maybe this wasn’t an upper-class suburban neighborhood, but it was home. Opening the front door Jungkook paused, feeling a little leery at the sight of empty bottles on the table, his dad couldn’t have been home already, right? Jisoo was curled up on the couch, eyes meekly flickering to meet Jungkook’s before quirking into a little smile of greeting before letting her gaze drop back to her homework, “Mom’s in her room, haven’t seen her since I got home.”

Jungkook pressed his brows together in confusion, usually, she was a little more chipper than that, “Oh…” he breathed out before letting his shoulders slump a little, “Alright, I’m gonna go talk to her for a few minutes, do you need help with your homework?” He paused at the entry kitchen where the small circle table sat, takeout boxes piled up and the occasional pizza box underneath, he should really take the time to try and clean up.

Jisoo’s gaze flickered between her brother and her homework as she nibbled against her lip, “...You don’t have to help me Jungkook…” She felt guilty, he could tell instantly. 

Jungkook’s expression twisted a little more stern as he replied, “If I don’t then who will Jisoo?” He cut himself off abruptly as a thick silence hung in the air, Jisoo refused to look at him as she fiddled with her pencil, something she always did when she was nervous. Sighing he ran a hand through his hair, not wanting to scare her though it still disheartened him that she really thought of him like that, “I know I don’t Jisoo, But I don’t mind, okay? Let me just go talk to mom then I’ll be out in a moment to help.” 

She only nodded before letting out a soft sigh, curling up against the pillow she had hugged before Jungkook walked into the kitchen, the door ahead closed and it seemed like the lights were turned off, softly knocking Jungkook heard a crash inside as he opened the door, the TV playing in the pitch-black room where the curtains had been closed.

“Mom?” Jungkook furrowed his brows as she wobbly stood up, the cigarette she wasn’t supposed to be smoking in the house pinched between two of her fingers as she struggled to stand up properly, “Kookie…!” Her voice enthusiastic yet somewhat confused, her brows squeezed together as if she struggled to see him, “When did you get home?” She fumbled around the bed as he coughed, waving the cigarette smoke she had blown in his face on accident out of the way.

“I...I just got home mom, look I know it’s been hard with dad but….” He scratched his neck, feeling a little apprehensive before pulling the thick wad of cash out of his pocket, “I wanted to help out so…! Here, maybe…maybe me, you and Jisoo can go to the store and…!” He felt proud of himself at his mom's eyes lighting up quickly snatching the money from his hands, “Maybe we could get a few new sets of clothes or….mom?” He paused as she finished counting the money with an exasperated sigh as if inconvenienced. 

“You couldn’t have gotten another hundred?” His mom complained, her face saying that this was absolutely not enough, Jungkook felt his lips part, fumbling but no words came out as he felt his previous excitement begin to deflate.

It...it wasn’t good enough…? 

“Jungkook I would have thought you’d be more useful than this,” She sighed as she turned her back, annoyance filtering her features as she waved a dismissive hand, “I should’ve anticipated this though, I can never count on you to be enough when I need it. Go help your sister with her shit.” 

She puffed from her cigarette once more as Jungkook felt the frustrated anger quell in him, stiff in place as he felt the urge to swallow the hard rock that was suddenly stuck in his throat, his mom turned around as her scorned expression furrowed, “Are you deaf in the head? Get the fuck out of here and go do something useful. God you’re so fucking needy.” 

Jungkook had made sure to slam the door on his way out, running a hand through his hair as he felt the anger seethe through his veins, why was it never enough? All he wanted was to help! To be validated and good enough for his mother? Growling he hadn’t even registered when his fist slammed into the wall, again….and again...and again. 

His fist throbbed in sharp pain and it was already becoming swollen as blood trickled against the floor. Jisoo didn’t have the nerve to ask when she carefully wrapped his hand. 

….

Memories like those were the most prominent, especially after triggering situations such as just a few hours ago in which Jungkook and you had experienced a near kidnapping. The ride home had been painfully silent and it wasn’t until in the shower that you had broken down crying and continued until you could no longer keep yourself awake. 

Jungkook however, wasn’t tired at all, the opposite in fact, his eyes had been staring blankly at the ceiling for the last two hours, his mind filtering memories and briefly wondering, where had he gone wrong in his life? You were curled up against him, your body relaxed and your face buried against his side. 

With you sound asleep, Jungkook didn’t feel the obligation to hold a pleasant expression, and thus his bitter glare at the dirty white ceiling you had commented on painting one day. Where did he go wrong? Was he really that terrible of a person, was he considered a pain in the ass as a child? 

In fact, Jungkook felt strongly when he was younger, about wishing he had never been born, so that he wouldn’t have had to endure such incredibly hurtful parents. Jungkook wanted nothing more than to cherish his mother’s love. His lips quivered a little, his top lip twitching a little at the angry gloss of tears in his eyes, he hated it. He hated that it still hurt him almost ten years later. 

Jungkook hated more than anything, the permanent stain it had left on his heart, the constant need to prove that he wasn’t needy, that he didn’t need anyone, that he didn’t need to rely on anyone. He bent over backwards and compromised more of himself then he possibly could, in hopes that one day, his mother would love him. 

It wasn’t that Jungkook regretted his decisions, he had made plenty of money that he kept to himself, hence buying his first car, he could get his sister new clothes and pay for her meals. But still...he just wished he hadn’t compromised so much of himself, for something he would never have been given, no matter how perfect he tried to be. 

When he first came to Seoul, Jungkook didn’t know who he was, or what he wanted to do. He had spent so much of his life, living day in and day out, hoping he could force himself into the role of perfect son that would somehow fix his dysfunctional life, to the point that when he had left it all. It left him completely devoid inside. And Jungkook supposed he did eventually find himself, somehow. 

….

Purified sugar and there had to be some kind of strain of acidic flavor in the energy drink Jungkook had just finished chugging, it was his third one tonight and he had just finished his shift. His coworker coming in looking buzzed on something that was definitely not alcohol. 

“Psst- hey Jungkook,” He frowned as he turned to the male, raising a brow as he silently inspected the guys pupils that were widened like saucers, “You want some of this shit before you go? Hits different.” 

Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little as he watched the guy pull the plastic bag from his coat, pure white powder inside as he offered a weak smile, “No thanks man, have a...good shift.” He offered, not in the least bit interested in that. 

Jungkook had watched his dad drain his whole life away with drugs, he was not about to do the same thing. Pushing his hands into his sweatshirt as he pushed the backdoor to the convenient store open. Life was shitty, but at least he was by himself, alone, and able to do what he wanted. The motel was a pretty far walk and these parts of Seoul weren’t the hottest but hey, it was a pretty lively area. Groaning Jungkook pulled up his hood, keeping his head low as he began to weave through alleyways as a shortcut to the motel, he was making, barely enough money to pay for it with the discount of ramen but admittedly...his stomach ached and growled in need of substance that he was beginning to get tired of living on. Was the rest of his life going to be this bleak? 

Jungkook had debated on enrolling for college but it seemed like a bad idea and a lot of debt he couldn’t afford to get into when he was barely putting a roof over his head. The idea of being an escort didn’t sound horrible but…

His lips twitched. No, he wasn’t going back to that. It was still too fresh in his head and he couldn’t handle anymore predatory older women preying on him. Ah great, his clothes were practically soaked to the bone. He’d need to find a day job at least to start saving money for actual food- take out at least and new clothes. 

Jungkook hadn’t even realized where he was walking until he smashed into someone, he didn’t mind it much but to be fair he was on the giving end, the guy taking a tumble before he growled, “Hey fuckin’ watch where you’re going kid.” Jungkook kept his head low, knowing damn well it was too late and he was too hungry for this shit. 

He just wanted to get out of the cold rain before he got sick, “Look! Little fucker thinks he’s better than us!” The friend called out, walking up as he got in Jungkook’s face as he followed beside him, “Hey shithead, you ran into my friend! I think that warrants an apology!” 

Jungkook paused, lifting his chin a little as he closed his eyes in exasperation, these guys were really fucking annoying, they both began cackling at his reaction as he turned to face them both, “Fuck off.” Jungkook could hardly contain the words tumbling from his lips, this wasn’t a good start given it was a 2v1 here. 

“Ooh, little man thinks he’s a badass.” The friend mockingly awed out before Jungkook was suddenly shoved, “Because you’re so rude to your elders, I think you should give us money as compensation for not beating your ass.” 

Compensation? In what world? 

Jungkook scoffed, a smirk coiling on his lips as he cocked his head into an annoying cocky expression, “The only compensation you’ll get is having the luxury of kissing my ass.” Knowing this totally wasn’t in his favor he suddenly shoved the first guy which made him slam into his friend before he booked it down the alleyway. 

Heavy footsteps pounded on the pavement following after him, making his way out of the alleyway he made a sharp right but didn’t make it two feet before he slammed into multiple bodies, “Out of the way assholes! He’s dead meat!” Jungkook scurried behind the two men who didn’t budge an inch. 

They were around his height and yet...they both definitely went to the gym, “Ew, they look like hetros.” The one on the right said as he wrinkled his nose, he held an umbrella that shielded his friend and Jungkook as well who leered, looking ready to run again if needed, “What are you doing over there idiot?” He twisted around and Jungkook was somewhat taken aback at how stunning this man was...was he a model? 

More importantly his brows furrowed in confusion, he knew neither of these guys, why did they act like they knew him? The man spoke once more as he looked at Jungkook as if he knew him well, “Got into trouble, again?” 

The man on the left spoke up as he tutted, “Sorry for our friend, he’s young and doesn’t know any better. Ah...It would be best if you just go…” His voice was methodical and smooth. He was a little taller than Jungkook and the other man, a pleasant yet tense smile on his face. 

The two guys looked at one another before glaring at Jungkook once more, who only let a snide smile appear on his face as the two grumbled their apologies, even giving a short bow before slinking back into the depths of the alleyway. 

Both the men turned around, the one on the right who looked like a model snorted, “You know this kid?” 

“Nope.” The other one said as he shrugged. 

Jungkook could only look between the two men, suddenly stricken with gratitude at the realization that, despite not even knowing who Jungkook was, they stuck their necks out for him to get these guys away. He looked a little doe eyed before he offered a boyish smile as he bowed, “Wow you guys really saved my ass! Hey uh-” Jungkook couldn’t put his finger on why, but he wanted to get to know these two better, “I can make it up to you! I could buy drinks!” 

“No!” The model immediately rejected, his hand on his mouth as his nose wrinkled, “I mean your welcome but hard pass, i’ve already drunk twice my weight in liquor for the night.” He winced a little as if trying not to gag. 

Jungkook frowned as he rubbed his head...oh...okay…? He turned to the other man, suddenly feeling a bit odd at the way this guy was staring at him. It wasn’t creepy or as if he had ulterior motives, but it was as if...he was evaluating him. Jungkook felt a bit uneasy and at this notice the man offered a weak smile, “Say, if you’re struggling for money, get off work early and come back here tomorrow kid. You’d be a hot take here. Come on Seok let’s go.” 

The other man shrugged before they walked away leaving Jungkook thoroughly confused and somewhat dazed as rain began to pour back over him again. Puzzled, he turned to face the building the two men had exited from. 

Cherry Bomb. Huh, interesting.

...

The thought of those two men lingered in Jungkook’s mind the whole day as he debated on what to do and in the end, he figured, what the hell? Why not just go for it and see, he was a bit leery admittedly at the man's words about making money. Last time he did that, he became an underage escort and a drug runner. 

His nose wrinkled as he carefully made his way through the alleyway, careful to not run into anyone this time. It was two in the morning and he figured, this would be early enough, right? Unless...No he’d give it a try! 

Jungkook nodded in determination as he stood in front of the bright neon red sign with the words Cherry Bomb plastered on it, what even was this place anyways? He paused at the two bouncers out front, checking ID’s as he got his ready, showing it before they nodded and let him inside. 

Jungkook had expected a lot of things, what he didn’t expect was the foggy atmosphere, cherry red neon lights, tables packed with people and screams of cheers. Making his way through the crowd his nose wrinkled a little before he got a good look at the large stage, thinner in the middle and circled out on the sides. 

His lips immediately parted at the sight of...naked women...dancing...wrapped around poles. His ears were burning as he frantically looked away, feeling like he was intruding on a private event before his hormones got the best of him. His eyes looked back at the stage where the woman kept swaying her hips as she parted her legs. Her tits were perked and her thong left little to the imagination and…

Jungkook tensed at the sudden feeling of arousal shooting down below, his cock throbbing against his jeans as he awkwardly shifted. What the fuck was he supposed to do with this...was he even in the right place…? 

But...if he wasn’t...wouldn’t they have been more specific…? Jungkook peered around, feeling a little hesitant as he scanned the crowd before...Oh! Oh there he was! Jungkook shuffled through the crowd as he found the man at the bar, laughing with the bartender before they met eyes, “Oh good! I was wondering if the environment would scare you off,” He laughed, “You look like a boy coming of age.” 

“..I…” Jungkook paused, not used to this type of talk being so...free, feeling apprehensive he asked the only question he could think of, “What is this place?”

The guy snorted, looking amused as he spoke, “A strip club…? Hey how old are you?” 

“Twenty…” Jungkook replied, a little reluctant as the man laughed, almost endeared as he squared his shoulders a little, he wasn’t a kid! He just...had never...Jungkook felt his ears burn as his eyes narrowed, sex wasn’t everything! 

“Okay good! That means you’re legal!” He wiped a non existent sweat off his brow as he offered a dimpled smile, “I’m Kim Namjoon,” He nodded in greeting, “I work here as a Soloist.” Jungkook’s lips parted a little as he looked at Namjoon before at the stage, “Yeah, I’m a stripper.” 

A male stripper? Jungkook had never heard of such a thing before as he furrowed his brows before he connected the dots, suddenly bursting out laughing as he sat in a seat, “You think I would be a stripper!?” 

Namjoon lifted a hand as he spoke, “I mean, you showed up didn’t you?” Jungkook paused as Namjoon smiled cunningly, “Mhm, listen, I get it. Everyone’s a little reserved when they first get in the business but, we have it good here at Cherry Bomb.” 

“...I’m not a stripper,” Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little, looking at his knuckles before up to the bartender that was busy serving several other customers, “I’m not even experienced-” 

“Pause,” Namjoon cut him off as he looked at him in wariness, “That’s what’s good about Cherry, we accept people with zero experience. They’re called trainee’s, which means they have an experienced stripper show them the ropes of how everything works.” 

Jungkook didn’t speak for a moment, as he swiveled his chair around, looking out at the stage where girls were dancing as raunchy as possible but...his eyes landed on the money that was flying...that had to be fifty, “....And you want me as what…? A trainee?” 

Namjoon smiled patiently, “Pretty much, I’m particular in who I train but, you have the face for the job. I feel like you'd generate a lot of profit. For yourself and Cherry.” This was where Jungkook frowned, wariness filling him once more. Profit for Cherry Bomb...He couldn’t shake the feeling that, this seemed too good to be true…”So what’s the catch?” Namjoon tilted his head as Jungkook spoke, “What’s the catch, where’s the draw back? This can’t just be me flashing everyone my dick and getting paid for it.” 

“Right…” Namjoon smiled a little as he curved a brow, “You won’t, salary is cheap because technically our tips make up for it. But starting out as a trainee means nobody knows you and, nobody is going to throw money at you.” Jungkook tilted his head a little, “See we have a hierarchy here. First we have bottom feeders, trainee’s, they’re new, they’re awkward, nobody knows them and nobody wants to give them money when something better waits. Then there’s fillers, those girls up there who dance between the main shows, which are soloist’s who dance by themselves. They’re what everyone is waiting for.” 

Jungkook frowned, “So unless you’re the main attraction there’s no point in dancing.” Then why bother with this place, weren’t most strip clubs self employed anyways? Why be a bottom feeder here when you had greater success somewhere else? It didn’t sound appealing to Jungkook. 

“Because,” Namjoon chuckled as the stage went dark before the lights turned on, Jungkook immediately recognized it as the male he met last night, “Everyone likes a big ego and an even bigger wallet.” He hadn’t even started dancing and money was already being piled onto the stage. 

Jungkook couldn’t help but watch in awe at the way he kept a crowd which, surprisingly held many females who all gushed and screamed for him, the power he held in his performance and all the money that floated down on him as he swung around the pole. Jungkook was...interested. And besides, what’s the worst that could happen with this place?

“Alright,” Jungkook leaned back in his seat as he looked at Namjoon, a cocky look in his eyes as he smirked, “I’m willing to talk.” 

----

That was a turning point in Jungkook’s life. He stretched out a little, careful not to move too much as he didn’t want to wake you, you had shifted with a little yawn before your face pressed back against him. His lips ghosted into a smile as he looked down at you, his hand tethering gently against the back of your neck as you curled against his touch, you were just too cute. 

For a moment everything was okay before he frowned once more, no matter what you said, it was his fault you were put in the position you were, if he had just...Jungkook silently groaned in frustration, he had lived his whole life like this. 

It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. 

But it frustrated him to no end, he could’ve done a lot of things in his life differently but he didn’t. And now you were having to deal with all of his baggage he had secretly hoped he could bury with time. But this situation was just a bitter reminder that no matter how fast Jungkook ran, the past would always catch up. 

….

“Mmm fuck, that’s it you little slut.” Sweat beaded against the back of Jungkook’s neck, the tight space of the bathroom stall making his body heat radiate and his skin flush as a low moan escaped him. His hand fisted into the girl's hair, her lips eagerly wrapped around his cock as she bobbed her head against it. 

Jungkook’s brows creased as he guided her movements, her cheeks hollowing before carefully taking him down her throat as he hissed, “Fuck, I bet you like choking on cock don’t you baby? Such a slutty brat.” He growled, forcing her head still before sharply snapping his hips into her mouth, his orgasm was so fucking close. 

She was gagging and clawing against his thighs as gurgled whines escaped her, her little throat tightening around his cock making him let out a long moan as he rutted one last into her mouth, his cum warm and thick as it slid down her throat. 

Jungkook needed a moment to recover before pulling himself from her mouth, heaving in breaths as he rasped, “Jesus….thanks.” 

The girl- Yuna stood up as she wiped her lips, a bright smile adorning them as she laughed, “My pleasure, you should probably go talk to Namjoon though, as nice as your dick is it’s not why I came to get you.” 

Tucking himself away Jungkook glanced up at her as he gave a half smirk, though it seemed more like a lopsided smile, “I didn’t hear you complaining. I’ll go talk to him. Did he say what he wanted?” Namjoon, his mentor, was always on the more relaxed end of Soloist’s, not quite having the energy to debate with Jungkook. 

“Mmm dunno,” Yuna shrugged as she opened the stall, fixing her hair as best she could before rubbing her eyes, taking a quick look into the mirror to make sure she was somewhat decent, “You said you weren’t into degradation last time we fucked.” She raised a brow in curiosity as she glanced at him in the mirror.

Jungkook paused, running a hand through his hair as he looked away briefly. He did say that beforehand, trying to degrade a girl just felt….wrong...It almost always made him feel like an asshole and for the longest time he never saw the appeal. Jungkook shrugged as he replied, “Well, one of the girls I slept with was really...like really into it, and she explained that everything was consented and that if she had a problem with anything I called her she’d tell me. I wasn’t really into it at first but if it’s what she wanted,” He shrugged once more as Yuna turned around, tilting her head, “But after seeing how much it turned her on, and how weak she got anytime I called her a slut...It was kinda hot.”

Jungkook’s brows pressed together in thought, it was weird but, if the girl was okay with it then, that made it okay, right? He still felt somewhat at war with himself, maybe he should’ve asked Yuna? Even if she was the one that was practically begging him to call her a whore to begin with, but still. 

Yuna gave him a smile as she opened the door waving him out as he followed her, “You’re telling me all I needed to do was give you an educational lesson in BDSM? You’re so innocent Jungkook.” He glared at her as she laughed holding up her hands, “I’m just saying, you’re a natural in bed but you just always seem to...hold back…” 

Walking out of the hallway the main floor of Cherry Bomb was packed as always in the morning, girls going over their routines, people conversing with one another, Jungkook had come to love it here, it wasn’t the nicest place, but it wasn’t like he grew up living a nice life, “Well,” He huffed as his memories of his earlier experience when it came to sex flashing through his mind, “It’s not like I was with someone my age willing to guide me through it.” 

He immediately regretted his words, mentally chiding himself at saying too much as Yuna furrowed her brows, glancing up at him as she frowned. He was thankful she didn’t seem to say anything on the matter though, maybe knowing it wasn’t a good idea. 

“Well regardless, I’m proud of you.” Yuna patted his back as he rolled his eyes, leave it to her to keep things surface level before flashing him a grin and parting ways. Jungkook’s eyes scanned over the room, clacking his tongue as he sighed, Namjoon was probably in the soloist room if he wasn’t out here.

Making his way back down the hallway he pushed the door of the room open, glancing up at the small stage where Seokjin was working with Rose, “Done with your quick fuck already Jungkookie?” 

Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and his gaze deathened as they landed on the insufferable figure that stood ahead, freshly dyed platinum silver hair that covered thick bushy brows, the smirk crept on none other then Kim Taehyung’s face, what a fucking tool, “At least I can get my dick sucked without having to beg people to do it.” 

Taehyung snorted as he curved a brow, running his fingers through his hair as he replied, “Sorry what was that? Couldn’t hear you over being Cherry Bomb’s Playboy, girls would be fighting to the death to suck what I got.” 

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he rolled his eyes, refraining from rearranging that pretty face of Taehyung’s, he didn’t give a shit if he had only been working there for two weeks when Taehyung won SSU he still thought it wasn’t deserved. Taehyung was conceited garbage beneath Jungkook’s feet. He wasn’t going to groval over him just because he was a soloist now.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon sighed, curving a brow as he glanced between the two rivals before rolling his eyes, “Come on, over here.” He waved over his trainee who gritted his teeth before reluctantly walking over.

Jungkook raised his brows in question, not understanding why his mentor wanted him, most days he wasn’t even really training with Namjoon anymore, it had been almost a year of him working here and Jungkook personally thought becoming a filler would be easier than this. Training for over a year was just so ridiculous though, he was used to stripping, he could spend the whole night with girls at a table. And yet these people still treated him like he was a trainee, just because of the title. 

“Look I need you to be on your best behavior tonight okay?” Jungkook pulled up a chair as he sat across from Namjoon at the small table as he curved a brow, “Seasonella’s reps are coming tonight to choose and you’re definitely going to get onto the list if you put on a good show. But, I wouldn’t blame you if you want to take tonight off.” 

Jungkook was like a toddler beaming, he didn’t know all the ends and outs of Seasonella, but he knew it was guaranteed to be promoted from trainee to filler, hell, maybe even...He dismissed the idea, the last thing he needed was to get ahead of himself, “Why would I do that?” Jungkook scoffed, a cocky smirk on his face as he continued, “You know how I feel about still being a trainee. If I have even the slightest chance of climbing up from this shitfest I’ll take it.” 

Namjoon grimaced a little, of course his trainee was stubborn hard headed ass, sighing he ran a hand through his hair before replying, “We don’t just strip there Jungkook. We’re treated as prostitutes as well, I don’t know what the deal is but they make it like we have a choice when we don’t. It’s...not really pleasant.” 

Jungkook didn’t think much about his words, only snorting as he lifted his chin in that cocky manner he always had, “So I’ll get paid to not only strip but to fuck too? Where’s the loss in that?” This sounded like a pretty good gig in his opinion, what were the drawbacks supposed to be?

Namjoon shook his head as he sighed, figuring this would probably be the kid's reaction despite coming from a rough background himself, he had hoped, Jungkook would exercise a little more caution than he was. But then again Namjoon also understood that he was young and immature. 

“Nevermind. Regardless, if you want to go you need to be on your best behavior and…” Namjoon looked away somewhat wryly, “Don’t....don’t piss anyone off tonight, last thing I need is for you to try to knock the client's son’s teeth out.” Jungkook only puffed his chest proudly as he leaned his weight back and he shoved his hands into his pocket. 

“Deal.” 

…

Jungkook felt the urge to laugh at how stupid he had been, how arrogant and immature his actions were to not heed Namjoon’s warning. It’s why he couldn’t be upset with you. He was even worse than you his first year at Seasonella. True he didn’t go as far as shut it down, but then again, Eva didn’t waste time in digging up his whole past and dangling it over his head to keep him coming. 

But if he heeded the warning then- he cut himself off, what was the point in always thinking this way? Admittedly, it was getting tiring to beat himself up constantly, to wish for things to be different when they weren’t. 

Jungkook, just wanted to put everything behind him, and start fresh. He had friends who he considered his family and….well he had you. His eyes flickered to your figure that wiggled a little to get comfortable before stilling once more. Sighing he shook his head, he almost lost you last night. Or you almost lost him. 

He couldn’t live the rest of his life like this, he couldn’t. 

….

“So...are you um…” 

Jungkook leaned back against the headboard, running a hand through his sweat ridden hair, his muscles admittedly had been aching but it had been a great weekend honestly, what even was Namjoon talking about? He turned to face the girl he had been accompanying the whole week, Eva Friar. 

Jungkook felt a flow of ego filter him at the reminder, that’s right. For only being a trainee, he bagged the client’s daughter, she was just a year older than him and hey, she had money. And lots of it. By this point Jungkook would be able to get that apartment near Gangnam like he had been hoping. 

“I’m taking it you’re single?” Eva squeaked out, a shy smile on her face as she covered her nose with the blanket in an attempt to try and look cute. Jungkook curved a brow, single…? It hadn’t even crossed his mind honestly. 

Jungkook was neutral if not a little confused before he spoke, “...Yeah…? I mean, I doubt anyone would wanna date a guy like me.” He laughed a little despite it sounding tense- that came off more self-deprecating then he had wanted...But it was true and honestly...Jungkook couldn’t do love. 

Not right now at least, it was too soon and memories of home were too fresh. The only love he had ever been exposed to was well...It wasn’t love and...how was he supposed to express something he had never been given? 

“Oh?” Eva perked up, giggling a little as she fumbled to sit up, pulling the sheet against her chest despite Jungkook having already fucked her three times thus far today, “W-well that’s hard to believe! I mean, look at you!” 

Jungkook frowned a little, looking down at himself, true he had gotten a membership at the gym and he had obviously worked on his stroke game but...He was just...himself, “And…?” He asked as he furrowed his brows. 

“You’re the whole package Jungkook!” Eva exclaimed as she smiled brightly, “I- I mean...any girl would be lucky enough to date you…” She trailed off coyly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Really?” Jungkook cocked a brow, not sure if he actually believed her, Jungkook wouldn’t….exactly consider himself a catch, given...well literally everything outside his appearance. 

“Well I mean…” She shuffled a little closer to him as she fluttered her eyelashes, “How about you take me to dinner tonight and I’ll show you…” 

Jungkook immediately leered back. Dinner!? Where did him being a stripper here for the weekend, say he was taking her to dinner, he knew it was an invitation but....”No thanks,” He offered a semi awkward smile, “I...I’m not really into relationships…” 

“O-oh…”

Great now he felt like an ass. Jungkook tried to recover as he forced a laugh that admittedly sounded light, “Yeah! It's just...you know, being a stripper and all. It doesn’t mesh well with relationships. You understand yeah?” 

Eva’s lips trembled a little and Jungkook had a difficult time looking at her, god this girl was so pitiful, “No totally! Ha..ha. I’m gonna use the bathroom!” She suddenly fumbled and before Jungkook could say a word, she was gone. Collapsing back against the bedboard he groaned, god dammit. 

Jungkook wasn’t sure when he actually fell asleep, it was difficult telling, but what he did enjoy was waking up to you every single day now, you were already awake and on your laptop most likely doing something miscellaneous or maybe working on a art history project you had been putting off for the majority of the summer time. 

His lips briefly twisted in a small smile as he set his chin on his arms admiring your side profile as you had yet to realize he had woken up. Your brows furrowed a little and your lips pressed together before jutting out once more as you paused typing. 

Then your eyes met his, a sleepy smile on his face as he watched you huff a little embarrassed for no reason at all but simply just because, “Morning babygirl.” He spoke up, his voice a little raspy and dehydrated from the long night. 

Jungkook’s smile turned more affectionate as he watched a shy smile appear on your lips as your eyes trailed back to the laptop screen, “Morning.” You mumbled out as you began to type again, your expression looked a little clouded compared to most days and briefly Jungkook wondered why before it hit him what had happened, “I tried waking you up to help me with breakfast but you were out of it. So I figured I'd just wait for you to wake up.” 

Jungkook said nothing at first, rather he studied your focused expression with a little frown as an odd feeling set in his stomach at how detached you appeared, not wanting you to catch on though he spoke, “You don’t have to wait for me to make breakfast,” He smiled lovingly, his eyes still sleepy as he looked up at you, who broke away from that cloudy look unable to  help but share the same smile as your nose crinkled a little, “I burnt toast last time you tried to get me to help.” He commented rolling onto his back onto his side, looking up at you, at first anticipating you would bring up what had happened but….

“Because you said putting it on a higher heat would make it cook faster.” You clacked your tongue making him chuckle, it was his fault the toast came out like a brick but truthfully he hadn’t used his toaster in almost a year until you started staying over. 

He closed his eyes briefly, you were an amazing cook, no matter how much you tried to coyly dismiss him, he’d shower you in compliment after compliment when it came to what you made in the kitchen. Jungkook would admit he was suspicious about all the food you had gotten at the grocery store but he stood corrected, you were making use of it all.

Jungkook couldn’t even adequately describe how much he loved you and everything you did for him, it was quiet for a moment as he stared up at you with his lips twisted into a tiny smile, his lack of reply making you turn to look at him as your nose crinkled again, “Hey babygirl….” Jungkook hummed out making you raise your brows, he sat up tenderly as he ran a hand through his hair, feeling a little apprehensive as he mumbled, “...Baby are you okay…?”

“Don’t….” Jungkook immediately frowned at your sharp words as you curled away from him a little, your expression a shards of distraught could be seen in your expression which only made him want to hold you closer, “Jungkook I…” you closed your eyes, lips quivering a little as you mumbled, “Can we not...talk about it?” 

Jungkook frowned as he stared at your curled up figure earnestly, not talk about it…? Jungkook didn’t want to make any assumptions but it was difficult to not when you were acting like this, “Baby…” Jungkook sighed before tenderly reaching out, pulling you closer as he rested his chin in your shoulder, “We can’t ignore what’s going on.” 

Your lips drew together tightly and he could see the way your eyes watered as you inhaled sharply, trying your best to keep it together as you mumbled, “We can, what else can we do besides that?” You looked up at him, a tear having escaped as it began to trickle down your cheek, “Just for a few hours, please?” You mumbled.

Jungkook sighed, weak for you and he could never do something with the intention of knowing you’d cry, cradling your cheek he thumbed the tear away, “Just a few hours baby.” He leaned up, pressing a kiss on your cheek as you crumbled back against him, basking in the warmth he had to offer as he tenderly trailed a few kisses down your neck. Time passed slowly and tenderly as silence took over for a long while, Jungkook still felt mildly concerned but he wouldn’t push you, especially like this.

But pretending like last night didn’t happen wasn’t a good idea either, Jungkook felt helpless as he pressed a kiss onto your head, feeling lost and unsure of what to do. This wasn’t healthy for him or you at this point and your alarming detachment was only making him more and more worried for your safety, pretending things weren’t going on was only going to give you a false sense of security that didn’t exist. 

“...Can we go cook now...,” You whined with a mumble as you closed your laptop before getting out of bed, “Come let go, let’s go, let’s go!” You bounce a little, a silly pout on your lips and a surprising amount of energy for someone who hated waking up early, let alone with everything going on, the large t-shirt covering close to your knees before you hurried from the room. 

Jungkook shook his head, letting you have your temporary moment of relief, a smile on his face before groaning as he got out of bed, rubbing his head, “You’d be more successful without me burning anything!” He called out in one last ditch effort to go back to bed. 

“I want your help!” You sang back not taking no for an answer as he shook his head, getting up as he yawned once more, rubbing his eyes before he grabbed a sweatshirt that was hanging off the side of the laundry hamper. You both were supposed to go to the laundromat this morning to get some clothes done.

‘I can’t believe you don’t have a washer and dryer, this is so gross!” 

Your words echoed in his head and he wanted to laugh all over again, truth be told he only lived a block away from a laundromat and he didn’t mind taking early morning walks to get laundry done, even if it was an inconvenience. 

Jungkook couldn’t say for sure if those plans were still on given what had...happened last night, despite only happening it still felt like a hazy dream that only filled him with dread any

Pulling the sweatshirt over his head he couldn’t stop another yawn escaping him as he padded out from the hallway to where the kitchen and living room were, his eyes landing on you softly as you had already gotten to work. Wordlessly he walked up to you before wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his face against your shoulder, “Koo! I can’t mix this properly when you’re trying to use me like a couch!” You whined out trying to tug away. 

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your shoulder as you wiggled once more, only he swayed with you as he whispered in your ear, “Can’t I just have you for breakfast?” 

“No!” You spoke sharply, obviously flustered at his words making him chuckle, forever endeared at how easy it was to make you all flustered over something you both had done time after time. Jungkook would never get tired of you, he was sure of it. 

Jungkook and you had cooked together this morning and with your gentle, patient direction Jungkook was surprised he had managed to actually be of some use and help to you. Breakfast was….rewarding, in a way. 

He could understand why you enjoyed it so much, you had told him recently that it was a pastime hobby to make tasty things. Jungkook had never gotten to experience waking up early as a child and helping the family making an early breakfast or even sitting at a table together bantering while enjoying what had been made together. Jungkook knew you often felt like you couldn’t offer him anything exciting or new, given you were a big introvert and he was the opposite, but little did you know it was the tiny things such as this that was new and he’d forever cherish.

Jungkook rested his cheek against his hand, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he listened to you ramble on about how when you first started cooking you had ended up misreading the recipe and using a half cup of baking soda instead of a teaspoon. You didn’t even realize just how much you gave to him in these little moments, he would always cherish it.

After breakfast Jungkook had loaded up his laundry with you before heading out onto the streets, Jungkook had rationalized that it was still daylight out and it was a busy morning with a large crowd, surely...things would be okay. 

Jungkook could tell you were leery of walking on foot but he had managed to convince you, after all, you wanted to have the morning to at least enjoy yourself and Jungkook would provide that to the best of his ability. Yet still, any time it was silent between you both a large cloud hung over the both of you, an unspoken tension that he couldn’t stand. 

And so Jungkook did what he always did when he didn’t like the atmosphere, he made conversation, something easy to talk about and he knew you enjoyed decorating, so he volunteered to ask what you wanted to do to the apartment first. 

Jungkook only had a tiny smile on his face as you immediately launched in the dozens of small things you wanted to get done first, a wash of relief taking over him at you now being a mildly distracted and the walk only being ten minutes, “That’s another thing i’d like by the way,” Jungkook hummed as he turned to face you, who had just been rambling on about this and that, “A washer and dryer in the apartment!” You exclaimed with a pout now enthusiastic about getting the apartment in better shape, “I don’t wanna have to walk a block every week just so our clothes can be clean! How do you live like this Jungkook?” 

Jungkook chuckled a little as he replied back, “Like anyone else! Not everyone can afford that babygirl. Have you stopped to think for a moment that maybe, maybe I’m just too poor to afford it.” He cackled at the sour expression on your face. 

“You just dropped over two thousand on a new gaming setup three days ago, Jungkook.” You groaned as you grabbed your head making him smile once more. 

“Not a setup, it’s all the parts for a new PC baby, I gotta prep my drip for Cyberpunk 2077 when it comes out. Which takes precedence over a washer and dryer,” He shrugged, just enjoying the way you’d flail and react, “However,” Jungkook exclaimed dramatically before he grinned, “I’ll make an exception, just for you.” He cooed as he wrapped an arm around you making you squirm, “But for real, I enjoy the experience babygirl, it’s not about having to walk once a week. It’s the fact that I get to walk once a week, and just enjoy myself.” 

Your nose wrinkled a little making him snort, he knew by your expression you didn’t understand at all but you also clearly didn’t want to invalidate him either. That’s what he really liked about you, he supposed, no matter how much you disliked something, you always tried your best to understand. 

For the sake of those you loved. You were delicate like that, or so Jungkook liked to think. 

…

“I think, you totally like her,” Jungkook whipped his head around faster than he could actually comprehend Taehyung’s words, just what in the hell did he hear his best friend say? “Just look at you dude, you won’t stop smiling every time you see her.” 

Jungkook leered away a little at his words, true it had been nearly a month of training you and there had never been a dull day in between but still… “I smile at everyone…” Jungkook frowned a little as he pointed it out, it was true, he did smile a lot, he liked to smile, it meant he was having a good time. 

“Yeah but,” Taehyung curved a brow, looking way too amused to be possible, “You never look like that.” He shrugged a little as Jungkook’s face soured a little, “Come on, don’t look at me like that, it’s the truth, why not just take her on a date. You’d do it to any other girl at this point.” 

Jungkook had to think about it for a moment, why hadn’t he taken you out on a date…? He frowned a little before sighing, “Because she isn’t a girl i’d just take on a date and fuck and never see again,” He answered steadily, that was the biggest reason truthfully, he didn’t know how to feel and the last thing he wanted was to let his hormones get the best of him and dive head first into a girl he really knew nothing about and…His jaw clenched a little, look what happened the last time he tried that.

“Isn’t that a good thing…?” Taehyung frowned a little as asked, obviously confused as to why this was a bad thing. 

“Because!” Jungkook flailed his hand a little, his back turned to the stage where some assortment of fillers were providing cheap entertainment, “She just…! I don’t…” He inhaled sharply, frustrated at himself, “Look I can’t deal with feelings and shit, not again, not after Soo Jin.” He rolled his eyes a little, “Taking her on a date is like a gateway for all that crap and I can’t deal with it right now.” 

Taehyung whistled a little, “That’s a little cold, even for you.” Jungkook puffed a breath as he continued, “And besides, what’s the difference between a hangout and a date anyways? You both go out together all the time as it is…” 

“Could you shut the fuck up please and just make my drink.” Jungkook complained, not wanting to be confronted with all of this. He didn’t want to think about because if he did he knew he was gonna freak himself out and end up doing something dumb and hurting you. And more than anything, he didn’t want to hurt you. 

So yes, he was going to drag out...whatever this was with you...as long as possible to ensure that he knew who you were, and what your intentions were with him. Not to assume he thought you had any type of intentions, you couldn’t hurt a fly honestly, unless provoked. 

But still, if Jungkook had learned any lessons, it was to not jump into love so fast as he had before. Not that he was in love with you...or anything like that. It was just platonic! He enjoyed platonic relationships- friendships! And you were the kindest, sweetest…his eyes trailed to your figure that was seated next to Rosé both of you talking to a table of frat boys who were eating you both up like candy...prettiest...friend he ever had! 

“Whatever, all I’m saying is if you break her heart- legally I’m obligated to beat the shit out of you.” Taehyung offered a boxy smile as Jungkook rolled his eyes as he slumped in his seat. He wasn’t going to do anything, Jungkook and you were purely, friends, good friends. That’s all. 

….

“She what?” 

“Yeah me and Rosé were pretty surprised she jumped to that conclusion.” Jungkook snorted at your words as you swung your feet back and forth, sitting on the seats they had set out in the laundromat while you both waited for your clothing to finish drying. 

“Taehyung is not gonna like hearing that, have you told him yet?” Jungkook snorted at the way your expression contorted before you flailed. 

“Of course not! Taehyung would freak and he’d probably do something stupid that would only confirm it in Yeri’s mind! I think, we should just leave them be, honestly, if it goes on long enough, Yeri will probably confront him.” You answered honestly, as you hugged the basket against your lap. 

“That’s one way it could go,” Jungkok hummed as he fiddled with your shirt making you whine a little, tugging away with him in indication for him to stop only for him to ignore it, “The other could be Yeri leaves and i’ll have my best bachelor bud ba- ow!” 

You swatted his arm angrily making him chuckle a little as he pulled away, “What?”

“Don’t talk like that! What do you have against Yeri!?” You cried out pointedly as Jungkook raised his brow in semi surprise. 

“Woah wait, I don’t have anything against her-” 

“Sure you do! Yeri told me how much of a jerk you were to her when she first started dating Taehyung! And making jokes like that isn’t funny!” Your brows pinched together and Jungkook sighed in exasperation when he realized you were being partially serious, “I just want them to be happy!”

“I don’t have anything against her,” Jungkook replied, this time more stern in his words, “And yes, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like I wasn’t an asshole to her, I was. But only because I was still bitter about what had happened in the past and I projected that, unfairly onto their relationship. I wasn’t mature in the slightest either about it. I get it, but at the time I was just scared and I didn’t want my friend taken away from me.” He shrugged, “But it’s all in the past now, that’s nearly what? Two years ago now? I’m happy for them, really. I was just being careless when I made the remark.” 

You set the basket down to cross your arms as you huffed, obviously still upset but at least Jungkook was honest, or so he thought. Better to be honest then lie and screw everything up.

“What? Are you gonna be mad at me now the rest of the day?” Jungkook shoved your shoulder gently with his in a playful motion he’d often use to try and lighten the mood a little. 

He internally sighed at seeing you not budge, your arms crossed as you pressed your lips together,  “I won’t,” You mumbled, “I just want you to not be so…” You waved your hand a little as your lips curled with a sigh, “When it comes to Taehyung and Yeri, is it really a crime Taehyung wants to marry her?” 

Jungkook paused for a moment, what? He didn’t….didn’t he just explain? He sighed, “What? Do you think that’s a reflection of my view of marriage?” When you didn’t answer him Jungkook sighed in exasperation, “Alright fine, obviously I have to prove my devotion, again.” 

“Jungkook what- what are you doing!” 

Jungkook couldn’t hold in his laugh at the way you scurried in your seat at the sight of him sliding off his chair to kneel on the ground, grabbing your knees making you jolt, “Let’s go elope baby. Right now- or as soon as the laundry is done-” 

“Get up! People are staring!” You hissed out despite giggles escaping you as you tried to push Jungkook away who grabbed your hands, pressing kisses on them as he pulled you down a little with a whisper. 

“I will when you say yes. This is what this is about, right? You think I got something against marriage? Well let me prove you wrong baby.” Jungkook growled playfully in your ear as you pulled away. 

A loud beep cut him off, making both him and you jump as the washer that held both of your clothes stopped, “I’m not finished with you yet baby.” Jungkook had that dorky half smile on his face as he stood up to get the clothes out of the washer and into the dryer. 

Marriage huh...For a brief moment, Jungkook wanted to snort at the notion, him? Marriage? He never really gave it any genuine thought mainly because he never thought he’d be worthy of marrying, well….anyone. 

And for the longest time he didn’t even believe in marriage, the idea of being together with someone, forever really made him squirm when he was younger, possibly because his only example of marriage was his parents and he wasn’t even sure if they were married in the first place. 

A lot of examples throughout Jungkook’s life were bad examples. It was often difficult for him to try and accomplish a new idea without anything to lead by. But…his eyes trailed back to your figure who was still reeling about what had just happened. Maybe…

Just maybe…

Pushing the button on the dryer Jungkook plopped back in his seat going to speak to you but he paused when he noticed how stiff you were, your eyes were on the door to the laundromat where people were going in and out of view on the busy street, “What baby?” Jungkook furrowed his brows a little, confused as to why you looked so cautious all of a sudden. 

You looked at him briefly as if consulting something in your mind on what to say before you leaned back down in your seat, your eyes on your fingers as you fiddled with them the way you always did when you got nervous, “...Maybe...we should go to the police Jungkook...you know...about what’s going on, what happened…” 

Jungkook paused in his tracks. Police? He didn’t mean to immediately frown but…”Baby listen…” He sighed as he lowered his voice, not wanting to dismiss you as easily as he wanted too because he knew you genuinely cared and you were in a dangerous position being together with him, naturally you’d have a say so in what you both chose to do but...

Jungkook grabbed your hands tenderly as he spoke softly, “I...If it could be avoided I really don’t want the police involved- if they knew about my involvement in…” He didn’t even want to finish his sentence, would the police even care about how long it had been? Or the fact that he had been blackmailed into doing it for his sister's safety? 

Jungkook couldn’t take the risk, he couldn’t. There was too much unknown and risk for him to feel confident they would help rather than simply throw him in prison. You mirrored his expression as you sighed, your shoulders deflating a little as your bottom lip quivered the way it did when you were trying to not let yourself get upset. 

“I don’t think they’d do that Jungkook…!” You whispered and Jungkook couldn’t stand to look at the way your eyes were pleading, “I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you or- or to me! And- and maybe they could at least push these people back, right? I mean...We can’t keep taking risks like this.”

Jungkook lowered his gaze, despite his own fear he could never say no to you, not when you were pleading with him like this, especially when it was this dangerous. He ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes, “...I’ll think about it.” He relented, “Just let me think it over tonight okay?” 

It was the best he could do, Jungkook was only human. He wished he could be so much more, for his friends, for you, but he couldn’t. Your expression was still dim but you nodded in respect of his decision before leaning against him, your head resting against his shoulder. Jungkook let his own head rest atop of yours before pressing a kiss against your head while whispering, “Everything is gonna be okay baby.” 

Cherry Bomb was packed as ever, Jungkook had been helping out the majority of the night and truthfully, he enjoyed the rush of keeping up with lights, making sure girls were on schedule, he liked the busy atmosphere and more than anything he loved watching you dance and swing around a pole.

You were practically blowing competition out of the park left and right and your votes were only going up on Cherry’s twitter account. Not that Jungkook ever had a doubt in his mind about you taking first place, but seeing it on a screen really hit home that you were his baby and dammit could you do anything if you wanted too. 

“I think she’s gonna win!” Rosé squealed in her seat as she clapped her hands, “It’ll be so nice having another female soloist to help with the crowds!” Jungkook leaned back in his seat, saying nothing but his smile spoke for itself. 

“Maybe we’ll finally stop having to listen to Sejin bitch about our numbers dropping.” Seokjin yawned as he stretched out, “She’s pulled a big crowd on her own, who knows.” 

Jungkook clapped his hands together, “What did I say in the beginning?” He hummed as he furrowed his brows, that dorky boyish smile on his face making the others groan, “What was that? That I ah- said she’d make us money? That she’d be amazing? Hmmm? That’s the sound of me being right.” Jungkook chuckled as he listened to the crowd whistling as you exited the stage. 

Jungkook would never stop being proud of your accomplishments. Getting out of his chair he looked down at everyone prominently with a smirk as he crossed his arms before exiting to go find you. He was already semi hard from your performance and he wasn’t about to wait to get home. The bathroom stall was just gonna have to work for tonight. 

The staffing hallway was just as bustling as ever but things had calmed down admittedly, they had put you towards the ladder end of the contest so they could still keep a crowd for the majority of the night and now that you were finished things would soon be lowkey. Jungkook pushed the door open to Rosé’s dressing room as she had been kind enough to let you use it for the competition. 

Jungkook would’ve offered us own but...His nose twitched in an attempt to wrinkle, it was still messy in his room and they were still working on getting it cleaned up. You were sitting in your seat, taking off the earrings you had been wearing before a smile tugged on your lips at the sight of your boyfriend, “What?” You smiled, somewhat shyly as you adjusted your robe. 

Jungkook strutted over only to lean down, his arms around you as he pressed a kiss against your shoulder, “I’m gonna let you choose where I’m gonna fuck you baby.”

“Jungkook!” You jolted with a squeak at his crude words, that boyish smile on his face as he looked back at you in the mirror, “Jungkook!” You reiterated as you twisted around to look at him, your face warm as he raised his brows semi amused. 

Jungkook let his lips press against your neck as he chuckled against your warm skin, “I said what I said, I’m gonna go take a quick smoke and when I come back you better have an answer, yeah?” 

He smiled down at the way your eyes squinted a little at the mention of smoke, reaching up you pulled Jungkook back down, pressing your lips against his too quick for him to truly enjoy the taste of the vanilla chapstick you wore with the maroon lipstick that was probably transferred to his own lips, “You’re gonna get lung cancer if you keep smoking.” 

Jungkook puffed a breath, his lips threatening to curl at the way you were looking up at him softly, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time babygirl. Think carefully!” You shook your head as you watched him exit the room. 

You were happy to be performing again and having some resemblance of normalcy back, even if it was just on stage. Not to mention all the money you were making throughout the contest. Checking your phone your lips curled a little, you were currently in third place in ranking at the moment. No it wasn’t the best, but you’d take it. 

Glancing at the clock you hummed, noticing it had been about two minutes, your mind lingering on Jungkook’s words as you shook your head, a shy smile tugging on your lips. Well...he did enjoy the car after all...Fiddling with your phone you looked down at your lock screen once more. 

Time slowly ticked and eventually after five minutes you frowned, Jungkook normally didn’t take this long to smoke unless he got held up. You sighed, thinking back to your confrontation with Seulgi and how hurt she had seemed, as if it was your fault Jungkook fell in love with you...Well...you guessed in some ways it was. But still...she wouldn’t go out of her way to harass him tonight, would she? She had been talking shit earlier in the dressing room, hence you had decided to move into Rosé’s dressing room as she didn’t mind and you couldn’t be held responsible for whatever you did to her. 

You still didn’t fully understand her mindset, her words lingering in your head. Was she really just that big of a sore loser? The moment you stood up for yourself was the moment you threatened her very being? You just wanted to understand. 

Standing up you finished changing before deciding to go look for Jungkook, his absence after five minutes beginning to make you a little anxious to see him once more. Walking through the hallways you looked around, everyone was busy and with somewhere to be and yet you still couldn’t find him. Not in the dressing rooms, the bathrooms...Well, he did say he was going for a smoke. 

You rubbed your head, who would be out in the back exit beside him? He was the only person you ever used the back entrance anyway. The hall was dark and the red beam of LED cast down making the walls feel more narrow as you frowned cautiously pushing the door open to reveal the dark night sky and dingy alleyway that always made you uncomfortable.

That’s all you saw though. Jungkook nowhere to be found.

Panic flooded your veins at the sight of the pack of cigarettes laying on the ground and a half smoked bud. He was gone. Jungkook was gone. You could be overreacting but your gut was telling you otherwise, with shaking hands you yanked the door back open running room to room and once again, he was nowhere to be found. 

Opening the door to the main building where all the customers were, you hurried towards the bar, overwhelm beginning to flood your body as you desperately blinked back tears, pushing through people to get to the bar that had seemed pretty calm now that the majority of clients were leaving. 

“Hey! I’m glad we caught you just in time before you left-” A familiar face was sitting at the bar across from Taehyung as he greeted you but both men faltered at the sight of your choked voice as you closed your eyes, warm wet tears beginning to spill down your face. 

“Jungkook is gone! I- I can’t find him anywhere!” 

Note: yayyy!!! another chapter over and it’s gotten even worse!! we only have two chapters left guys I’m not prepared!!! :( lemme know what you think so far and ty for reading!

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[chrisevansgoodgirl]

killing peggy carter

summary: you want revenge bc steve’s a bitch. (happy times, save for steve’s disappearance. everyone’s alive tho)

warnings: a darker steve. rough smut, a little questionable at times. a lot of angst bc i was in a mood.

pairing: steve rogers x reader, peggy carter x reader for a sec, and some steve x peggy ( 🤢 )

word count: about 9,800

a/n: not tagging anyone bc no one asked for this, i literally just wrote it like forever ago and decided to post it bc i haven’t posted in forever. also, if you go back far enough on my blog, you will see that i watch riverdale and honestly, i came up with this title before jughead wrote his emo story in the finale.

When Steve left, it was nothing short of devastating.

Your world had stopped. How could it not? You had been under the impression that someone was in love with you as much as you were in love with them. And god, you were so damn in love with Steve Rogers.

It had been a year and it still hurt just like it had that first day. You were better at hiding it now, using that as the only entertainment in your life. Being an Avenger wasn’t the same as it used to be. The world was good, you weren’t needed. Especially not while all these feelings of anger and resentment were growing inside you.

When Steve left, he took a lot. He took your heart, your soul, your fucking will to love and let yourself be loved, and he took your ability to be a hero. No hero had the darkness you had. No hero stayed out most nights dancing in sweaty and noisy clubs, being groped by strangers she couldn’t even take home because she was the definition of damaged. You had trust issues for days, and they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, if ever.

Bucky tried to help and sometimes, you had the energy to fake it. It always made him so happy to see you smiling or just talking to other men who clearly were attracted to you. But nothing would come of it. You couldn’t believe a word that any one of them said.

Steve used to look at you, tell you he loved you, tell he needed you, that he couldn’t do any of this without you. Then he had the chance to go back to Peggy Carter and he took it in a second, no hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye.

You stayed out on the lake for three months, figuring he’d just gotten tied up. He would come back, you told yourself that every night. What finally broke you was when Nat and Bucky sat you down and told you it wasn’t going to happen. You’d always known but with confirmation from the two people that knew him best, you had to face reality. He’d left you and he wasn’t coming back.

It was a huge hit to your self-esteem. Maybe if you had been prettier. Smarter. Stronger. Better. But you were just you. Petty, small, aching. Ironically, that was how he had found you as well. The Avengers liked to bring in team members who had already been through too much. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable your past trauma made you to their type of coercion. You would do anything any of them asked. With Steve, it was different. More. And he had always known.

There was this pain in your chest that never went away. Sometimes you woke up gasping in the middle of the night, usually after a nightmare. It was as if there had been a hand around your neck. But there wasn’t because you were as alone as anyone could possibly be.

You didn’t mind it anymore. Hell, it was the only thing that you still had left of Steve. You burned everything else and not even that made you feel better. This was all much to Bucky’s dismay.

You would never tell a soul that you couldn’t part with his sketchbooks, that you had them hidden in a box underneath your bed. It was no one’s right to know. This pain was your own, the only thing you still had possession of.

You hadn’t been touched in his absence, even by yourself. It reminded you of all those times he would kiss along your skin and sing praises to your beauty. Sometimes, you wished you were ugly. Sometimes, you wished you could just get so ugly that no one would even want to look at you.

But that was not the case. You were that beautiful, strong, and caring woman Steve had fallen in love with, so they claimed. You were their responsibility. Their project. They would get you through this if it was the last thing they did. Nat, Bucky, and Sam tried merely out of their loyalty to Steve. Tony followed that lead and that meant Peter tried as well as he could. Wanda, still consumed by her own lost love, attempted, but she was probably the only person who could see you for what you were.

Thrown out trash. Abandoned, sharp pieces that could and would cut anyone who tried to help. You hated all the rest of them for not seeing it. You hated all the rest of them because in their eyes, you were still Steve’s girl.

You no longer had a boyfriend, a family, or friends. He took all of that away from you. And one day, when you were so sick of having nothing to do but feel sorry for yourself, you decided that you were going to return that favor.

Steve Rogers deserved to be just as heartbroken and empty as you. It drove you crazy. He had been the one to pursue you. He had been the one to insist that you were his, even said you were the best thing to ever happen to him.

Talking Bruce into helping was laughably easy. You claimed to need closure. You claimed you just wanted to know that Steve was happy. You wanted to tell him you forgave him. Bruce hadn’t seen you look this happy in a long while so he did what anyone would and said yes.

You wanted to wait. Steve was always so sentimental, the anniversary of the day he met Peggy was probably a day of extreme affection in their house. He probably made her breakfast, bought her some piece of jewelry that she wouldn’t even like, and spent all day telling her how much he loved her. You wanted to crash the party.

Part of you wished there was another way to do this, but there just wasn’t. Killing Peggy was the only way to take anything from him, and you had these dark fantasies that he would then kill you in retaliation. What a beautiful way to go, you hoped he would strangle you. You hoped he would set you on his lap one final time, wrap his hands around your neck, and stare into your eyes until you were gone.

Peggy was a great person, that much you felt bad about. But hadn’t Steve practically murdered you? And you were a great person before all of this. An eye for an eye. Did he think you were just going to disappear? No, he wasn’t going to get away with this any longer. He wasn’t going to get his happiness after he had ruined your whole life.

You wanted some years on them, you told Bruce ten years. Steve would be just shy of 50. You wondered what he’d look like. When he left, he had just started to get some gray hairs. You could remember that morning vividly. You wouldn’t have noticed if the sun hadn’t been shining in through the blinds perfectly onto his blonde hair. He blushed about 7 shades of red, but you promised him you didn’t mind. Because you loved him. He said he loved you back. Like an idiot, you believed him.

You arrived in his time with little care to how you looked. You weren’t here for anyone but him. You didn’t mind that everyone was staring at you oddly because instead of some huge, ugly dress, you were wearing black pants, a low-cut t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

You did need a weapon, however. Guns were cowardly. Poison could be fun. A knife, though. A knife would certainly get the point across. You tucked it into your boot and then you were on your way.

You found Peggy’s house easily. Bruce had made sure you knew where you were going and what to do if they had moved or anything like that. You’d known they would be in the same place. You’d known Steve would want to live in this domestic, pathetic lie.

There was a window that looked into the living room. It was mid-day, you figured Peggy was at work. What did Steve even do? Was there a specific activity he liked pairing with all the pure nothingness he was doing while his best friend suffered in Hydra’s hands?

You saw him sitting in a recliner in what you assumed was the living room. His hair was almost all gray, he’d cut it much shorter. Like how he used to have it, before everything with Tony and Bucky. Like how he had it when you met him. His beard was just as light and he had a few prominent wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. But that was as far as his aging went. His arms were still huge, his shoulders so broad, and you had the strongest feeling that that ass had held up.

You were about to go in, make your presence known when you realized he was reading a book. Your favorite book. He must have taken it with him because that looked distinctly like one of your many copies you hadn’t seen for quite some time.

You were furious, shaking and seeing red. No matter how hard you tried to breathe, you just couldn’t. You were going to cut Peggy’s heart about and show it to him. You were going to cover that ugly house with her blood. You were going to wreck him just as much as he wrecked you.

You watched Steve for three months and came to the harrowing conclusion that he was severely unhappy. Peggy would come home and they wouldn’t speak. They would sit down for dinner and say maybe five sentences to one another. They went to bed together, sometimes they had sex. You never stuck around for that because not only was that a major violation of her privacy, but damn, they were fucking boring.

When she woke up in the morning, he wouldn’t get up until she was gone. Then he would go for his run, you followed a couple of times as best you could to see if there was a piece of this puzzle you were missing. When he returned home, he would read or watch television, he went for a second run a few hours later, and returned home to do absolutely nothing but await her return.

Should this have made you happy? It didn’t. He would rather be unhappy with her than happy with you. But that was for one reason: his pride. He didn’t want to crawl back to you and admit that he made a mistake.

Your goals changed. You wanted to make him admit it. Not with words, he would never do that. But Steve was a faithful man. If you got him to stray, it would be indisputable.

You waited one morning until he was out on his run, then snuck into the house. You went through their kitchen, sometimes you moved things just to be a bitch. You went through their bedroom and discovered that Peggy had a terrible contraption that had the audacity to call itself a sex toy. That would be nice to throw in Steve’s face.

You tossed it onto the bed and got undressed as you made your way to the shower. Steve wouldn’t be gone much longer. And he would know something was very wrong when he saw your clothes.

You washed your hair, used Peggy’s soap, and only had to wait a couple of minutes after that. You heard him call out her name a few times. But then he got to the bedroom and you heard his steps hesitating.

“Peggy?”

He wouldn’t say your name, not ever. Because he could be wrong, he could be delusional. And to admit that he was still thinking about you after all this time, that was his idea of a loss.

You didn’t grab a towel as you pulled the shower curtain back and shut off the water. Dripping wet, you carefully padded across the tile floor and then out to the bedroom.

His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “What...what are you doing here?”

You shrugged, glancing around. “Thought I deserved a vacation.”

“Y/N, I am so—”

“Pathetic? Weak? Yeah, don’t worry, I know.” You moved closer to him, eyeing him pitifully. You were glad that you hadn’t crumbled. Months ago, you would have given anything just to hear his voice, just to see his fucking eyes. God, you hated him now.

“You’re angry, I understand.”

“Angry?” you scoffed. “Add dumb to the list.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you—”

“You didn’t hurt me, you piece of shit. You destroyed me, you ruined my life. For all intents and purposes, you killed me. And I’m here to get my revenge.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Revenge?”

You reached out to touch his face, trailed your fingers along his bottom lip. “Yeah, payback. I’m going to make sure I make you feel what you made me feel.”

He glared up at you. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes.”

He finally stood, towering over you.

“Mmm, how I’ve missed this body.” You pressed yourself against him and as much as he acted like he didn’t like it, he never pulled away or tried to push you back. You were getting him wet and his shirt was starting to cling to his abs. You let your hands wander for a moment before they dropped down to his pants.

“Stop,” he said quietly.

And you did because you were never going to allow him to lie. Your turned up to him and stepped back.

He looked torn apart, confused. “Why are you here?”

You shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well, it’s all you’re getting. You don’t need any other answer.”

“So, what’s the plan? How are you going to get your revenge?”

“I know you, Steve, I know that you believe in being a good and faithful man. I just want you to fuck me. That’s all.”

“Well, you know that’s not going to happen. You know I would never—”

“Cheat? So, then you’ve never fucked Peggy?”

“What?”

“You never left me, you never told me we were done. You, like the coward you are, just didn’t come back. Every time you’ve been with her is a lie, a cheat. You are a cheater.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?! You keep acting like there was just one thing! There were a million things, Steve. You ruined everything that we were building. And you can apologize all you want, but until I return at least half of it, I’m stuck here with you.”

“I won’t fuck you.”

“Yet,” you pointed out. “Well, I should be going.”

He grabbed your arm. “Go home.”

“I am home, baby. You’re here and you’re my home.”

He frowned.

You yanked yourself out of his hold, bending over to grab your clothing all over the room. He wasn’t going to fuck you but that did not mean he wasn’t going to look at you. So, you gave him quite the show, just like you had in the past upon his request.

You disappeared into the bathroom as if it was so natural, as if it was your own. He made no moves to follow and said nothing. As you dried yourself off, you decided now was as good a time as any. “See that terrible thing on your bed?”

You heard him step a few times, then nothing.

You scoffed. “Maybe it has to do with your age.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Still. Pretty creepy you came back to a much younger Peggy.”

“I came back to the one I left.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” You sauntered out and sent him one last smile before exiting the bedroom.

Peggy and Steve had a fight, so Peggy ducked out to some small diner. If you couldn’t get to him, you decided you were going to get to her. Peggy was sweet from the second you began speaking to her, feigning concern for her situation.

The first night you guys went out together, you wanted her to talk shit about Steve. She didn’t, she just got drunk and tried to get you much the same. You were taking her home because you truly were fearful of what would become of her without your help. And she kissed you. At first, you were startled, you pulled away out of fear and shock. She wasn’t Steve. In all your life since you’d met him, you never thought someone else was going to kiss you.

But then she looked terrified. Had she been reading you wrong? Had she messed everything up? Nah, you were adaptable. You kissed her back, explained you’d been hurt by some loser and it had been a while. She understood, or said she did, and then she was disappearing inside.

You were left wondering if Steve heard you, but not many lights in the house were on. He probably wasn’t home. Confirmed by your unlocked hotel door when you returned home just a couple of hours before sunrise.

Knowing it was him didn’t mean you weren’t going to pull your gun as you entered. He was sitting in one of the chairs at the tiny table near the tiny kitchen.

He arched an eyebrow. “That necessary?”

“I should have shot you the second I got here.” But you still tossed it onto the bed. “You know...this paints quite a scene, doesn’t it? You’re here, angry at me for being out late.” You let your purse fall to the floor, then your hideous cardigan. You had only shown up with one outfit, so shopping was necessary to keep up appearances. You didn’t know a lot about the 40s, but you didn’t want them to start burning women at the stake again because of you.

You made your way to him, straddling his lap as you took his face in your hands. “Are you upset that I broke curfew, daddy?”

He didn’t even bat an eye, but you knew that would get to him. “Where were you?”

“Out with your future wife.” One of many kickers, they had yet to get married. Peggy said it was because she wanted to wait. “Thought she would be willing to talk shit about you...thought it would make me feel better.”

“And? Did she give you anything you can use against me in the future?”

“Nah. She didn’t want to talk about you at all.”

He glared. “When are you going home?”

She shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.” Your eyes moved over his face as you felt the deeply etched lines on his skin. “You don’t look 50 but I never thought... You remember when I found your gray hair?”

“Yeah... Thought you would leave me...that you’d want someone your age.”

“I like you like this, you know. Twice my age.”

“Have there been others?”

And just like that, the end of your friendly conversation. You pulled your hands away from him but stayed on top of him. “Others?”

“People...men you’ve let close.”

You scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“I wanted...I thought you would move on.”

“People lie,” you pointed out. “You told me you loved me every day and then you just left. I can’t adequately explain to you how tired I am. I can’t do it again, I can’t even let myself try. I can’t get close to people the way I was close to you. I can’t move on. I can’t love someone else. I can’t do anything but hate you as much as I loved you.”

“I wasn’t lying—”

“You left. If you loved me as much as you said you did, you wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I do love you—”

You immediately pulled off him, rushing to get your feet back on the floor. No, no fucking way, he was not going to lie to you again. He was simply not allowed to anymore. You would not tolerate it.

“Y/N—”

“Get out of my hotel!” You pointed to the door. “Now, Steve, or I swear I will shoot you.”

He scoffed. “For what? Loving you?”

“You piece of shit.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything else. You stormed to the bathroom and locked the door before he could intrude yet again.

He knew you wouldn’t come back out, not while he was still there. All he could do was leave. For safe measure, he at least unloaded your gun and set it on the bedside table. Maybe if you had to find it and load again, you would lose some of your anger and not ended up taking a shot at him.

How dare he? He had no right to say that to you, no right to use that word. It meant nothing coming from him because there was the implied ‘but’ along with it. Before, he just loved you. Period. Now? He loved you. But what? He loved Peggy more? He loved this time more?

You thought you had been angry before. Even though the time you were spending with Peggy was diffusing that somewhat. Still, you never lost sight of what you wanted. Needed. The idea of Steve’s heartbreak was the only thing that could get you up in the morning.

He threw you off for a few days. Every time you tried to leave the hotel room just to do something a tad evil, you would end up in bed crying. Steve thankfully didn’t try to come back, you hated the thought of him seeing you like this, letting him know that he could still do this to you.

Peggy called. You gave her the number, just in case, and she used it to express her concern for you. It wasn’t like you not to want to hang out or to just be around and bump into her “randomly”. She invited you out for breakfast the first day, then lunch the next. You said you weren’t feeling well.

An excuse she stopped taking the third night. She wanted to go dancing with you, all while her asshole boyfriend stayed at home. How could you say no? You shouldn’t, this was the entire reason you were here.

You would kill her tonight. This time was a drag and you wanted to get home. To a place where you could wear pants or a t-shirt. A place where there weren’t so many preppy men in pastels or college sweaters.

Peggy picked you up, she wouldn’t stop staring. Had it been any other day, you might have even questioned why. But you weren’t going to enjoy this as much as you thought you would. It sucked, and honestly, it made you hate Steve even more. He was your downfall, he was also her downfall, but at least he would soon be utterly alone.

It had been hours. You were just trying to dance and let the music fill your mind, but this music was shit. If you had to hear one more man sing about wanting to hold a woman’s hand… Truly, you missed the filth of your time.

Peggy was the one that wanted to leave. Peggy was the one that wanted to walk away from all the noise of the city. Peggy was the one that took you to some sleazy motel, where she gave you the briefest of looks when she’d stopped you both on the sidewalk. She was also the one that kissed you when you didn’t say anything because what did you have to actually say?

Nothing. Not one thing. You had no idea how this plan had spiraled so terribly. You were meant to come here, kill her, throw it in Steve’s face, then bolt back home like none of it ever happened.

But you couldn’t kill her, not anymore, not after seeing what a miserable life she had with Steve. You hoped she would leave him, and not just to hurt him, but to help herself. You remembered the life she had in your world, the one she had created with your husband. It was so much better than the hell she was living in here.

So, you let her take you to a room. You let her kiss you, you let her tear your dress off, push you onto the bed, and crawl on top of you. Her lips moved everywhere over your legs, arms, and stomach, and they felt like fire because they belonged to someone who wasn’t Steve.

You hated how guilty you felt. You hated that your mind was seriously considering this a betrayal, cheating. But you were trying to be kinder to yourself. It wasn’t your fault that you had fallen so hard for someone and that you had made plans because someone had promised you forever.

She knew you were thinking about him. Not Steve, of course, but the someone you had once mentioned. She didn’t mind, she just promised she would try to make you forget. You forced yourself to be present, you turned off your mind when you could. She didn’t ask a lot of you, in reality.

She wanted to be on top, she wanted you to say her name and wouldn’t let you come until you asked nicely. It was probably around the third orgasm that you stopped feeling so awful, that all of those familiar sensations weren’t triggering memories and bitter resentment. That was what she gave you with her mouth alone and didn’t move until it was evident that your thoughts had simply melted away.

When she crawled back up to kiss you, she buried her fingers inside you. At that point, who the hell even was Steve Rogers? A distant, dull pain. Peggy was here, on top of you, biting your lip, telling you to come one more time, because she knew you had it in you.

She told you that you were beautiful, that she’d never seen a body like yours. She told you that you made her feel things Steve couldn’t, that you were fun and warm and kind, and she loved spending time with you.

You were covered in sweat, your skin painted with her lipstick and bites and other marks she left all over your skin. She hadn’t come yet and refused any offers you made her, she claimed she just wanted to focus on you for a moment.

When she finally pressed her soaking center against yours, you were in an odd amount of pain. You longed for something, so much, but you had no idea what. She pulled your hair, began kissing your neck, and rolled her hips hard. You pulled her hair back, pressed your hips up when she pressed down, whimpered her name, and told her she felt so good. It was when she started fucking you harder and faster, and you were getting really close once again, that you got the sick idea to rake your nails down her back. Hard enough to leave marks.

After her finish, she collapsed onto her side next to you. The way she looked at you was kind of scary, like you were worth a lot more than you knew you were. She also looked satisfied and you hadn’t seen that look since you’d shown up. And what a fucking crime that was. Yes, Steve was a dick, but fuck, that man could seriously fuck. Why was he denying her that?

You shoved her onto her back and sat on her face because you didn’t want to be thinking about him. She kept you there until you were shaking and so fuzzy you couldn’t even sit up on your own. A tad haphazardly, you insisted on getting your mouth on her. After some convincing on your part and a few pitying laughs from her as you nearly fell over the edge of the mattress because you were still dizzy, your tongue was sliding against her skin and her hands were locked in your hair.

She needed to get home, back to her boyfriend before he started to worry. You stuck around for a bit, reluctant to return to your apartment. Maybe this was it, maybe this was all you needed. Maybe it was just time to fucking go home.

You truly worried about all of the Bucky lectures you were going to get, all of those Natasha looks, those small ‘tsk’ sounds when Thor was not only upset but disappointed in you, the judgmental eyebrows Tony would be sending your way, and those puppy dog eyes from Peter. Goodness, you were sure Peter missed you. Bruce would never trust you again, no surprise there, you had lied to him. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions when you first did this. You hated, at the time, that you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.

Game over. You weren’t going home not without having scored some points, but to win, you would just end up losing more. More, you now understood that you had taken all of it for granted. Yes, your friends were constant reminders of Steve and they had been acting like you were some mission they needed to complete, but at least they loved you. That was more than a lot of people had and you would let them know about all these epiphanies if they didn’t kill you as soon as you returned.

When you made it back to your apartment, it was only to get the necklace Wanda had given you a few years back for your birthday. It was this huge stone you never remembered the name of, something you rarely took off regardless of that.

The last thing you expected was to find Steve. He looked furious and maybe, just maybe, you were going to get the satisfaction of seeing that you hurt him before you left. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He was at the table again, jaw set, glaring at the wall straight ahead of him. You were trying to think if you’d ever seen him this angry, if you’d ever even heard stories of it. Probably not. He liked to act like you were so damn delicate. Though, maybe he had been onto something.

“Hey,” you snapped after receiving no response, “Why the fuck are you in my hotel room?”

Finally, he turned to you and for the first time ever, you were scared of him.

You kept your distance, you even began moving toward your bedside table where you had your gun stashed.

“I hope you’re not looking for this.” He reached down for a moment then tossed it onto the table noisily.

Shit. “Steve…”

“You fucked her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stood quickly, storming over to you. For a moment, you had been stunned, and it was enough for him to get several upper hands. It wasn’t as if he needed them to begin with, but with your delayed scattering back, he was able to grab you and pin you to the wall. You were completely defenseless in stupid, impractical heels and an ugly, impractical dress.

“Tell me you didn’t fuck her.”

You said nothing.

He scoffed harshly. “I fucking smelled you all over her…and now I smell her on you. You left those scratches on her back because you wanted me to know.”

“Honestly, I thought I would be gone by the time you found out or by the time you decided to confront me. In fact, if you leave now, I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“What? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

He didn’t say anything, instead, he grabbed the neckline of your dress and tore it open. He paid no mind to your startled shoving at his chest. His eyes moved over your skin quickly, you could tell he was getting angrier with every bruise he found.

You were going to play this off, bat away at his feelings just long enough for you to escape. “Steve, I—”

He grabbed your jaw and you immediately shut up. “Go take a shower.”

Your eyebrows pulled together.

“Now.”

“No, you fucking—”

“You can do it on your own or I can do it for you. But to be clear, I will not ask again, and I’m gonna count to ten before I really lose my patience. One, two, three—”

“Steve,” you tried softly. He was still holding you there, so tight that the idea of moving was laughable.

“Four, five—”

“Steve,” you were a tad more frantic, pushing at his forearm.

“Six, seven.” He finally pulled away from you and you bolted to the bathroom without a second thought. He told you to leave the door open and you listened because you no longer had the desire to push him.

You came out in a towel several minutes later. Most of your shower was spent just trying to calm down, the rest was using any product you had to try to get rid of her scent. You didn’t want to risk further angering him with any lingering mentions of Peggy.

He was just feet away from the door when you stepped out and once again, he showed no hesitation in ripping away what covered your body. He looked you over again, briefer this time, obviously displeased with what he saw. He’d hoped most of it was just the lipstick Peggy always wore.

“Are you wet?”

“What?”

“Your pussy. Are you wet?” He was condescendingly slow with every single word and your hand suddenly itched with the need to smack him.

“No.”

“Well, you’re a liar, so I don’t believe you,” he countered. “Check.”

“What?”

“Check,” he repeated. “Now. And if I have to keep repeating myself, you’re not going to like the way this night plays out.”

You averted your gaze as you brought your hand to your center. Your breath caught audibly as you ran your fingers through. Yes, he was an ass, but your body would never stop craving his touch.

“Show me.”

Begrudgingly, you brought your hand back to him.

“Wow, how did I know you were lying? Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself until you come.”

You snorted. “Eww, no—”

He slammed his hand against the wall behind you and you fell silent again. “The same rules apply. Do it or I will do it for you.”

He had never spoken to you like this. Sure, there were the bad missions. There were the times when he just needed to fuck you to forget all the shit he had to deal with. But there was never a moment where you wondered if he would lose control, if he would hurt you unintentionally. Right now, maybe it wasn’t so much that you thought he would. You had known him long enough, loved him long enough, that you knew exactly what kind of man he was. Maybe, right now, it was that you wanted him to hurt you.

Nothing could be worse than when he left you. Nothing he did was going to hurt more than when you went back home and you were, once more, without him. Meaning that you wanted to take everything that you possibly could from this moment. All the pain, all the bruises, all those emotional scars that would add to the ones from before that you had idiotically convinced yourself you could ever get rid of.

He knew you were considering your next move and arched an eyebrow at your continuing silence.

You shook your head. “No.”

One of his hands shot up to wrap around your neck, the other hand went to your cunt where he slid two fingers into you with embarrassing ease.

You brought your hands up to his forearm and dug your nails into his skin. The harder you scratched him, the harder he would choke you—it was something established early on in your relationship. And if he was choking you, you couldn’t moan or whine like he wanted you to.

For a moment, you both stayed still. For an entire second, it wasn’t that he had left you, that you had to track him down, that you fucked his girlfriend and he was fucking furious about it. For a second, it was just you and him, like it was all the times before.

The problem was pride. It wasn’t like before and neither one of you wanted to let the other pretend. He hurt you. You hurt him. Before no longer mattered. So, you shut your eyes and turned your face away from him.

He thrust his fingers just slightly harder than you would have liked, slightly harder than he would have liked. It would sting in the morning, but you wouldn’t hate it. Crescent-shaped cuts would be found everywhere on his skin and he would mourn that they were healing too fast. Both of you knew that this was it. The end.

You were wet, that obscene sound drowning out your choked noises. He absolutely loved this, loved you. He had thought being with Peggy again would make him feel like he was finally home. It took him so long to figure out that he was wrong, to realize that you were one of the few people that actually felt like home. You and Bucky, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor. Not Peggy.

And he could no longer pretend when he felt you tighten around his fingers. He was fucked up and he ruined things a lot of the time. It was just in his DNA, even the fucking serum couldn’t fix that. But prior to leaving, he’d never ruined anything with you. He hadn’t realized how much he missed fucking you because he always did that right.

“Open your eyes,” he ordered.

Instead, you pushed harder at his arm and turned further away from him. Your hips started to buck against his hand, and he knew you wanted this, but he knew you were not going to give in without some fight.

“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.”

You were not going to. After all the hell he’d put you through? Fuck that, fuck him. You were never going to give him anything he wanted ever again.

He yanked his hand away from your pussy and grabbed your jaw to turn your face to him. He knew that wouldn’t work alone and in a move of desperation, kissed you. A move to get you to let your guard down—a weak move that would not work. As his knee came up to your cunt and you began grinding against it, he started biting your lip.

You buried one hand in his hair and started pulling harder than you should have. He released your jaw to do the same to you. This was much different than how he usually touched you. He’d always been rough, but this hurt, actually hurt.

You rode his thigh with no assistance from him. He let your face go and dropped your hair in search of another tactic. You were no longer kissing, you instead rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still squeezed shut. Even when he grabbed your ass painfully, and when he smacked you after all you did was scream. Even when he grabbed your breasts and pulled on your nipples.

You kept your eyes shut the entire time and he was growing furious. He wasn’t going to let you feel anything even resembling pleasure if you weren’t going to give into him. He pulled away and grabbed your hips.

You opened your eyes then, concerned about what he was doing to you next. He grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto the bed before you could say a word. You were on your stomach, facing away from him, busy lamenting the loss of your finish. You heard him undressing as you attempted to regain your breath and composure.

He was on top of you before that happened, yanking your legs open before he crawled up, hands stopping on either side of your head. He wasn’t going to tease, he was going to fuck you like the brat you were—hard, mean, unforgiving. He lowered his hips until his cock was lined up with your entrance and then thrust in.

Your scream must have scared the hell out of the neighbors. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cops were being called right then. It wasn’t a pleasurable scream, you certainly liked that he was inside you, but that was just your body. Your heart ached in a way that it never had. You’d thought you were never going to feel him again, but it wasn’t some beautiful feeling of reconnection. You were at square one, you would have to crave his body all over again once this was over. You would go through those same agonizing withdrawals that had truly destroyed you those first few months.

Steve grabbed your hair again and shoved your face into the mattress. He didn’t care about taking it slow, making sure that you, his precious, sweet girlfriend, were okay. He felt just as torn up as you and he couldn’t afford emotional consideration when he was so fucked up. He only knew what he wanted, for you to look at him like you used to. He would do whatever he had to do to get it. Part of him didn’t care how low he would have to go. He wasn’t Captain America here, he didn’t have to live up to the same standards.

You blindly reached back to try to catch his arm, but your attempts never even touched him. He didn’t seem to care about what you were attempting, he just fucked you. He held you down as his hips slammed against your ass and he moaned loudly, shamelessly, selfishly. You finally caught a hold of his arm and used the heel of your palm to push, but since you were out of breath and had been for quite some time, you doubted that there was any real force behind it.

“Can’t breathe, baby?” he wondered, hips still snapping, the head of his cock reaching that delicious spot inside you.

You dug your nails into his skin even though it was an uncomfortable stretch and your muscles were screaming. You were screaming, too, despite everything, despite the lack of strategy in that, but this felt too good not to. You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long, this was what you knew you would never get from someone else. This deep, soul-level connection was a one-time deal. No one else was ever going to be able to give you this.

“If I let you up, you better fucking look at me. I’m not kidding, Y/N. I’ll fucking hold you down again until I fucking come.”

Once his hand lifted from your head, you turned up and gasped for air. It was a short-lived relief as soon as his hand pressed into your neck and angled your head back. It wasn’t that you were scared, and you should have been because you wholeheartedly believed his threat, it was that you were happy to have an excuse to give in. He was stronger than you, right? No one could blame you for giving in, hell, you were just trying to save yourself. Right?

Your eyes met his and his hips stuttered. A ragged breath fell from his lips, you felt it on your hair. That hard look in his eyes softened, he looked a lot like that man that had promised you he would come back to you.

“I love you,” he breathed.

Your eyes instantly filled with tears and you clamped your mouth shut. Both hands were buried in the bedsheets because you needed something to hold, something to tear at, something to destroy to cope with the burning anger that was consuming you.

“I’m sorry, I love you.” His body moved erratically against yours, desperate for all the things he’d longed for since he’d left you. The two of you were sick together, desperate, twisted people that proved it in bed. Peggy wasn’t like that and he was drowning trying to act like he was normal, like he was that same man that she had been with what felt like centuries ago.

He collapsed, chin pressing into the bend of your neck, and you felt his cum spilling into you. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode out his finish. He didn’t stop, however, now he wanted to get you off. He wanted to feel those same pathetic, proud things he experienced whenever he played your body like an instrument.

You didn’t resist, what would be the point? You fucking deserved an orgasm, at the very least. You were ashamed to admit that you wanted it, needed it. You hadn’t honestly felt alive since he left you, but this reminded you what that was like.

He groaned when he felt you tightening around him, his hand wedging between you and the mattress to get to your clit. When he did, it was over and you crashed like a wave against the shore, and you saw stars, and you felt all those things you felt when you were happily in love with a man you thought loved you back.

So, in conclusion, you felt lies.

If he thought he could fuck reality out of your mind, he was sadly mistaken. You were coming down when your hand started sliding across the mattress. Your gun was not the only precaution you took—you’d known Natasha for years and she would strangle you if that was your only form of protection.

He was kissing down your spine when you located your knife, and he had just started to speak when you turned back and just stabbed. You had a general awareness of where he was, you knew you weren’t going to kill him, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to get away, before he started talking, apologizing, making more promises.

You didn’t wait to see where you stabbed, you simply clawed away from him until you could jump from the bed. He cried out and you heard him grabbing for you, but you couldn’t stop for anything. On your bedstand was the necklace you had shown up for, you grabbed it, along with your long coat and then you were on your way out the door.

Running around completely naked in the 40s, clutching a trench coat you knew you weren’t going to leave without, shoeless, dripping sweat and cum—you’d never thought your beautiful life with Steve Rogers would take you here.

A Bucky Barnes lecture was the last thing you wanted, but it was the only thing you would be receiving for probably several months. Well, when he was done with his silent treatment. He was furious when you returned, he didn’t say a word to you. Everyone else had completely fawned over you. They hugged you, pet your hair, told you how proud they were that you came home.

Bucky just stared at you and when they all parted so he could speak to you, he simply stormed out of Bruce’s lab. But yes, Bruce was a tad betrayed, your expectation on that had been correct. You apologized profusely and brought him coffee every day, several times a day until he stopped looking at you like a kicked baby animal.

Tony was disappointed, but not to Bucky’s extent. He simply could not fathom the hold Steve had on you still, told you as much. You admitted that you were wrong, and well, with Tony, that was really all he needed. He wanted to be right and he wanted you to tell him that you learned your lesson. To the untrained eye, he would look like a narcissist. But you knew him better, you knew he was just scared of losing you. Again. He merely wanted to know that you were sticking around and that was what you conveyed when you told him you had made a mistake going in the first place. He dropped it, like it never happened.

Natasha didn’t let you out of her sight for almost two complete weeks. She watched you and you felt her watching you, but she wasn’t going to pry. She was angry, but she was still handling you with gloves on. She wasn’t going to push you emotionally no matter how badly she wanted to. She also wasn’t going to ask questions, scared that prying would move you further away. You told her you saw Steve and that you got what you needed, she nodded, and that was the end of it. She still watched you, but she was slyer about it. She made sure you were in your room when she woke up and went to bed, but she took up Tony’s pretending routine as well.

Wanda didn’t need to ask anything; she knew because she read your thoughts. She knew because she had been outraged that you left without a goodbye, so she felt entitled to those thoughts. Not because she needed to know what happened but because she needed to know if you were going to try anything else again. She stopped being mad at you one day when you were making Bruce coffee. You hadn’t heard her, you were there in the kitchen, stuck in your own thoughts. She hugged you tight, didn’t say a word, but just like that, it was over.

Almost everyone had gotten over it in record time. You knew you were an asshole and you apologized, and you meant it, but even if you hadn’t, it wasn’t like they were ever going to hold it against you. Sometimes, knowing that, it made you feel worse because these people loved you and just like Steve had done to you, you hurt them. In the exact same way. You left.

Sam was in a much more difficult position. He felt a duty to you as one of Steve’s closest friends, but he also felt for Bucky. You’d really hurt Bucky and Sam could forgive you for being reckless, psychotic almost, even selfish. But the look on Bucky’s face when they discovered that you were gone was a hard thing to shake.

He stopped ignoring you after a couple of days, but the conversations were short, shallow. He didn’t ask about your time there and he didn’t ask about your feelings after. It was all small talk and polite conversation, it seemed like you barely knew each other at all. But sometimes, you would catch him watching you, like he was looking for signs of something that he couldn’t ask you. He wanted to know if you were still torn up by this Steve thing.

You were. You cried a lot, as if it happened all over again. Technically, in a way, it did. But you didn’t show them that, it was no longer their burden to bear. You had caused them pain when they tried to take yours away. You waited until you were alone or out of the tower, you cried quietly and quickly. You did not allow yourself those days where you would just hole up in your room. You were always awake early, asleep late, and you took care of yourself because you owed them all at least that.

You knew when Bucky was less angry, but you weren’t going to approach him. You were totally fine just waiting for him to let you know when he wanted to speak to you, which was one random morning after you’d finished sparring with Nat.

He was waiting outside the gym, muttered that he wanted to speak to you, and even Natasha had the good sense to get lost. It wasn’t going to be pretty, that much was clear. It was in his tone, his eyes, his tense posture.

He took you back to your room and ordered you to sit on the foot of your bed. He paced for a long time and you didn’t say a word or make a sound. When he finally looked at you, you seriously worried he might kill you. He was angry all over again, had worked himself up with his thoughts but you weren’t sure why entirely.

“Did you see him?”

You nodded.

“You talked to him.”

“About…everything? Um, no, not really.” There hadn’t been that conversation. Any attempts on Steve’s part were expertly diverted by you, with all your ill intentions and knowledge of how to get under Steve’s skin.

He nodded curtly. “So, this was for nothing then? You put me through all of this shit for nothing?”

“Bucky, I’m really so—”

He was storming out of the room before you finished your sentence.

You didn’t see him for two days, and when you did, it was clear again, you would be getting more silence. You told yourself you couldn’t be that hurt. You’d hurt him first, that meant he had the right to express his feelings even if that resulted in him not speaking to you.

Several days later, Bucky dropped his Winter Solider persona and became a worried, bitter mother hen. You were sick, it wasn’t something that you thought was a big deal. He’d come to speak to you again and with his enhanced hearing, heard you puking in the bathroom.

When you were done, he forced you back into bed and got Bruce. Bruce did the usual, it wasn’t as if anyone was worried, he was just too scared not to indulge Bucky. Speaking of, he was off in the corner of the room, claiming that you’d probably gotten some kind of time-traveling bug. He was being dramatic, and you became aware of what exactly had drawn him and Steve together all those years ago. Extra bitches.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruce assured. “Her temperature is fine.”

“Take her blood, test it for time-traveling bugs.”

You rolled your eyes, and because Bruce had heard of the Winter Soldier, he did as was directed. Even though you were pretty sure that Bucky wasn’t serious. Not completely. Once Bruce had the excuse of focusing on your blood, that left you and Bucky alone.

“Why did you even go?”

This was not going to go over well. “Um…I had a plan…”

“A plan,” he repeated. “To do what?”

“I was sort of…kind of, just a little bit, going to kill Peggy.”

His mouth dropped.

You rolled your eyes. “I know that was stupid—”

“You’re insane!”

You glared. “Bucky.”

“You didn’t do it, right?!”

“No,” you huffed. “I should have, would have been putting her out of her misery. He’s such a fucking tool.”

He dragged his hand down his face, holding his jaw as he leaned over in his chair and pressed his elbows to the tops of his thighs. He was silent for a very long time before saying, “Yeah…he is. Did he hurt you?”

The bruises had been painfully obvious, there was no way to hide them, and you knew they could all guess what they came from. You felt your skin getting hot as you shook your head. “No. He wouldn’t do that, Bucky.”

He scoffed. “I thought that…but he did leave you and I never thought he could do that.”

“He’s…not different,” you claimed. “Just…”

“A fucking tool.” He nodded. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I’m not just sorry for leaving and upsetting you. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry that you wasted months trying to make me feel better and then I just left. I’m sorry that I took you guys for granted, I’m sorry that I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have people who love me as much as you guys do. I know I betrayed your trust so it’s not going to mean much, but I will never do anything like that again.”

His eyes flit up from the floor to your face. “I do love you. So fucking much. You’re my only connection to him. And you left and I didn’t have that, I didn’t have you and I didn’t have him, and I was just…lost.”

You felt those familiar pricks in the back of your eyes, but you told yourself not to cry, you didn’t have the right. But just as soon as his eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t hold back your own anymore. He practically flung himself off the chair to rush to you, arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed there, just clinging to each other. This felt like the end of all the tension, though. This felt like a fresh start and you and Bucky were just going to have to move on without Steve. You pondered that for a while. You would have to try to find him a girlfriend or a boyfriend so he wouldn’t try to find you someone. It was going to be a little give and take, probably a major power-struggle every now and then, but it was going to be good.

The only reason you two pulled away was because both a frantic Bruce and Natasha ran into the room. They’d made all the noise two people could possibly make as they did so, crashing into each other because the doorway wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

They were wide-eyed, out of breath, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. But a much different ghost since they both regarded one another with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” Bucky demanded. “Wait, she doesn’t really have a time-traveling bug, does she?”

“Oh!” Bruce scoffed awkwardly, “I’d say so!”

You narrowed your eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

“That can wait!” Natasha declared.

“No, it certainly cannot!” Bruce insisted.

These were two people who were normally soft-spoken, not because they were meek or soft in any general sense—hello, Black Widow and the Hulk—but in that they didn’t like drawing so much attention to themselves.

As they both started hissing arguments back at each other, Bucky sighed.

You glanced at him and he shrugged at you in response. Things were all better one second, but the very next, the world was ending.

Both Bruce and Natasha turned back to you with resolute looks on their faces. Natasha only spoke loudly this time because she was hoping to yell over Bruce, “Steve is back!” And Bruce yelled in a completely indelicate manner because he was shocked, horrified, extremely concerned, “You’re pregnant!”

Oh, shit.

Natasha and Bruce took a second to process what the other said and then gasped, turning to one another to share a look. They faced you again and decided to repeat the news only, Bruce screamed about Steve being back and Natasha more so framed it as a shrieking question you’re pregnant?!

You glanced at Bucky.

His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed just slightly. He merely nodded once then stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “Well, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

Yep, the world was most certainly ending.

[atlafan]

The Tutor - One Shot

a/n: based off this ask! I’m real happy with this one y’all. I’m happy to present tutor!Harry x hockey player!y/n, a nice little college au. Friends to lovers if you wanna categorize it. Enjoy! Reblogs and feedback are always super helpful. (semi-proofread, sorry in advance for any mistakes) 

Warnings: fluff and smut, partying, alcohol consumption

Words: 24.5K

Part Two Part Three

“This psychology professor is out to fucking get me!” Y/N groans as she plops down on her couch. “I don’t understand the books we’re reading, and he doesn’t even lecture from the powerpoints so I never have any idea what to write down.”

“Y/N, who the fuck told you to take a psych class anyways?” Amanda says to her.

“I thought it would be an easy gen ed for my science requirement. I didn’t want to take a fucking lab science, that would have been worse!”

“It’s only the beginning of the semester.” Gina says. “You should sign up for a tutor now before it gets so bad that coach benches you.”

“Goddammit!” She yells as she gets up. “I’m headed to the tutoring office, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Why there wasn’t an online form for tutoring she’ll never know. Y/N couldn’t risk getting a bad grade in her psych class. Hockey was her life, and she was a sophomore now so that meant she had more of a chance for playing time. Not to mention she worked her ass off over the summer, and her coach has been noticing her improvements at the few practices they’ve had.

She enters the tutoring office and the woman at the front desk gives her a form to fill out. She has to put down the class, who’s teaching it, and what she’s specifically having trouble with.

“Thanks, Y/N.” The woman smiles brightly. “We’ll email a student that received a B+ or better in this class, and then they’ll email you to coordinate a time to meet. You can meet in here, or the library, or wherever works best for you.”

“Okay, thank you.” She sighs and leaves to go back to her student apartment.

She felt lucky not to be in a dorm this year, but Y/N couldn’t wait to get an off campus apartment with the other hockey girls next year. For now, the on campus apartment will do. Her and her friends change to go to the gym, make dinner together when they get back, and head to the library to do their homework. This was another thing that Y/N liked about being on the hockey team, no one was ever left behind.

//

From: Harry Styles

To: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Tutoring

Hello Y/N,

My name’s Harry, the tutoring office sent me an email saying you needed help with Mind, Brain, and Evolution. That’s definitely a tricky class! I’m more than happy to help, I managed to get an A- in that class somehow. When works best for you? I’ll do my best to work around your schedule.

Best,

Harry

Harry Styles

Sociology Major/Applied Ethics Minor

Student Senate

Y/N rubs her eyes to check the time the email came through. 6:30AM. Who the fuck wakes up that early to send an email, and what normal student had an email signature? She rolls her eyes when she sees he’s on student senate. Curiosity gets the better of her, so she looks him up on Instagram. His account was private so she heads over to Facebook. She could only see his profile picture. It looked like it was from over the summer. He has a huge smile on his face, sunglasses on, a white t-shirt and short, yellow swim trunks. He was holding up a fish he caught.

“God help me.” She groans.

To: Harry Styles

From: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Re: Tutoring

Hey Harry,

I’d like to start ASAP. I’m on the hockey team, so I have ice times early in the morning, and evening work outs. I’m usually free from 2-4PM most days. We could meet at the library at 2 today if that works for you. Also, just feel free to text me, I’m not always great with email, tbh. xxx-xxx-xxxx

Thanks!

Y/N

Y/N stretches and gets out of bed. Her, Amanda, and Gina all head down to the ice arena for their early ice time. Once that’s done the three shower up, and head back to campus for their first class. Luckily, they were all business majors, so they were able to sign up for a lot of the same classes.

“Hey, did your tutor reach out to you yet?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, it’s Harry Styles. He emailed me super early this morning, like right when I woke up for practice basically. He’s on student senate, so I’m not surprised.”

“Well, at least he reached out already.” Gina says.

The three sit down, and Y/N checks her phone before throwing it in her bag

Unknown Number, maybe Harry Styles: Hey Y/N! It’s Harry. I got your email, so I wanted to text you like you asked. 2PM works great for me today. Wanna meet in the café first and then we can find a spot?

Y/N: hey, yeah, sounds good, see you then!

The day goes by mostly normal. Y/N gets through her couple of classes, has a large lunch with the team, takes a quick power nap, and heads to the library café to meet Harry. She could certainly use an afternoon pick me up to get through the tutoring before her evening workout.

When she walks into the café she smirks to herself seeing Harry already there. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a blue t-shirt. His hair was a little longer than in his profile picture, Y/N could really make out his soft curls. He was wearing a pair of glasses and looking down at his phone.

“Um, Harry?” She walks over to him and he looks up. He gives her a warm smile. She takes a moment to notice he has a number of tattoos on his left arm. Much more prominent now than in the one photo she was able to view.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“Great to meet you. Your first coffee’s on me, what can I get you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that?”

“I insist.”

“If anyone should be buying coffee it’s me. You’re gonna have your work cut out for you with me.” She sighs.

“Nonsense, I think it’s great you reached out for help. Now tell me, what’s your drink?”

Y/N tells Harry she’ll have an iced coffee and he nods. He gets them both an iced coffee, and he gives her a moment to add her cream and sugar.

“You seriously drink that black?”

“Yeah, it’s how I have it at home, I’m just used to it.” He shrugs.

Right, he was an international student from England. She follows him into the main area of the library and they find a table to set up at.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

“Be my guest.” She says flatly.

As he sits down she’s able to get a whiff of his cologne, and it actually smelled good. Like vanilla, but spicy? She now sort of wished she wasn’t in her workout clothes, and dressed a little nicer.

“So, what’s your major?” He asks as he pulls his laptop out.

“Business…I saw that yours is Sociology?”

“Mhm.” He smiles and opens his computer.

“What is Applied Ethics?”

“Oh! Glad to know you actually read all the way to the bottom.” He chuckles. “It’s just ethics, but with practical ways to apply it. I just picked it up this year so I’m taking a class called Creative Problem Solving in Ethics, and then I can take classes about business ethics or medical ethics or whatever else. I like it a lot.”

“What made you want to add that?”

“A lot of the classes double count in my major so I just figured why not?” He shrugs. “Enough about me. Why business?”

“My mom owns her own business and I’m hoping to take it over when I’m older.”

“What type of business is it?”

“It’s just bar.” She shrugs. “But she’s owned since I was a kid, and we want it to be a family business. I have a couple of younger siblings in high school and they feel the same way. I work there on breaks.”

“You’re allowed to work in a bar?”

“You can be eighteen to serve alcohol. I’ve only got another year and a half to go until I’m twenty-one anyways.”

“You’re a sophomore?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, me too.” He smiles. “And you said you’re on the hockey team?”

“Yup.” She squints at him. “You’re on student senate, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What is with you guys always going to the men’s hockey games? You guys never come to ours. It’s a little annoying, to be honest. I noticed it last year.”

“Well, to be fair, I never go to hockey games, I don’t really care for the sport.” He runs a hand through his hair as her mouth forms into a straight line. “But I can certainly talk to the group to see if they’d be willing to go to your games too. Everyone deserves spectators.”

“Do you like any sports?”

“I don’t mind soccer…but other than that, not really. Oh! I love the Packers, but I only watch their games.”

“You seem to be a fit guy, so you must do something to stay in shape.”

“I run on the treadmill at the gym.” He blushes slightly. “And then I’ll lift a few weights, nothing crazy. Do you, uh, have your books with you? We should probably get started.”

“And here I was thinking I could distract you with small talk.”

Y/N takes her books out and sets up her own laptop. She explains that everything just feels confusing, and that it’s difficult to follow along in class. Harry listens and tries to give her some tips on how to deal with the professor. He takes out his old notes, and she sees the units are the exact same. He explains what he found helpful to remember for the tests.

“Now, I can’t just give you these, but we can use them to help you study. He may have updated the tests since I took them, but we can use my answers to give you an idea of what he’s looking for.”

“How were you able to do so well?”

“I have to take a couple of psychology classes for my major, so I took this as a gen ed. I already knew a ton of stuff about the brain, and the rest wasn’t too difficult, but I know psych isn’t for everyone, so I hope you don’t feel…stupid or anything because you’re not.”

“How do you know?” She smirks. “I could be a real buffoon.”

“To make it through this school’s business program I’m pretty sure you need a brain.” He nudges her. He checks his watch and sees it’s ten of four. “Wow, I can’t believe we used up the two hours.”

“Sorry.” She mumbles as she packs up.

“No! It’s great, actually. I get paid by the hour so it’s no skin off my nose. When do you want to get together again?”

“Maybe we could do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“Works for me, I’ll put you in my calendar so it’s a standing thing. I can send you the calendar invite too.”

“You’re very…professional, Harry.”

“Thanks.” He smiles and stands up.

She didn’t exactly mean it as a compliment, but she wasn’t going to correct him. They walk out of the library together and then go their separate ways. Harry was nice enough, and he was a decent tutor so far, so it wouldn’t be totally painful to meet up with him. It just annoyed Y/N that a fucking gen ed was stressing her out so much. 

//

A couple of weeks go by, and Harry puts in the hours with Y/N. She had her first big test coming up, and her first home game. Harry was a great study partner, he really helped put her at ease.

“You’re going to do great, I can feel it.”

“Thanks.”

“So…your first home game, are you excited?”

“I’m super excited! I’m starting this season. I just hope we have some people in the stands to cheer.”

Harry hums his response and nods.

“Well, I hope it’s a good game.”

The next day, Y/N takes her test, and she was surprised to see that she actually knew her stuff. For once she left the classroom feeling good. This helped pump her up for her game. When the team leaves the locker room they’re all stunned to see the arena packed. It was never like this for their games. Y/N looks around and sees all of the kids from student senate, including Harry, cheering for them. The arena was full of their school colors and signs. It was quite a sight to see.

Needless to say, the girls won. With all that support and cheering, who wouldn’t be able to play their best? The older girls on the team say there’s going to be a victory party at their apartment tonight. Y/N couldn’t wait. She changes quickly in the locker room, and heads up to campus with Amanda and Gina to get ready.

“I love when Ashley hosts parties, she invites the hottest girls.” Amanda says.

“Oh, is someone hoping to get lucky tonight?” Y/N teases her.

“Don’t I deserve it? I did score a goal.”

“You sure did, with help from me.” Y/N grins.

“Alright, so then maybe you deserve to get some head then.”

Y/N and Gina burst out laughing.

“Right, because guys are just dying to get on their knees for me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Oh! You should invite Harry out. He must have had something to do with why so many people were there, right?”

“I have no idea. I only mentioned once that it annoyed me, but now that I think about it some girls from the soccer team said they had a lot people at their home game the other day.”

“Same with the field hockey girls.” Gina says. “I hope some of them come out tonight. There’s this one girl, Leigh, oh my god I wanna wife her up.”

Y/N laughs and shakes her head. She puts on a black, short pencil skirt and pairs it with a black lacey crop top. She straightens her hair and does her makeup. Amanda and Gina make noises and tell her how sexy she looks. They do a couple of shots, and then make their way to Ashley’s. Once all of the hickey girls are there, they cheer and do shots together.

The apartment was getting more and more packed. Y/N notices the senior class president talking with Ashley, and it made her wonder if anyone else from senate was there. She ends up slamming into something hard. When she looks up she sees Harry in front of her. Although, he looks much different. No glasses, an almost see through white t-shirt so the tattoos on his chest and stomach were more visible, and black jeans with some tan boots.

“Hey, Y/N! That was a great game!”

“Thanks! I was surprised to see you there!”

“We…! Hold on!.” He grips her wrist and tugs her into the kitchen where it was slightly less loud. “Jesus, could barely hear myself think.” He chuckles. “Anyways, yeah, you sort of inspired me to start an initiative.” She watches him grab two red cups and go into Ashley’s freezer. “Want some vodka? We brought our own.”

“As long as there’s something to mix it with…”

“Cranberry juice?”

“Works for me.”

She watches him carefully as he makes the drinks, and hands her a cup. They clink them together and they both take a sip.

“Tell me about this initiative.”

“Well, I sort of felt bad when you said no one ever comes to your games, and it made me think of the other women’s teams. The senior class president is a girl so I brought it up to her first, and she told me it would be a great idea to try and get other clubs to come cheer on the teams. It took a lot of planning in a short amount of time. We definitely had the largest turnout at your game, I think it’s because you can actually sit down and get snacks.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Were you surprised?”

“Very, that was really nice of you.”

“And we’re going to keep doing it too. Definitely wasn’t a one time thing. I actually enjoyed watching you. Um, all of you.”

“Right.” She smiles as she takes a sip. “Can I ask…how did you get an invite here?”

“Kelly made it happen. She spoke to your captain…uh, Ashley? She sort of filled her in and asked if we could pack the arena if senate could come to the party.” He looks out to the living room full of people. “Are there usually this many girls? I’m not complaining, I just figured the hockey guys would be here.”

“They usually show up later, a lot of them end up in the basement where the beer pong and dancing is. There’s a lot of girls here because more than half the team are into girls.” She laughs and takes another sip. “Damn, you really know how to mix a drink, this is good.”

“Thanks.” He takes another sip of his own. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Into girls.”

“Not in that way, no. Although, sometimes I wish I was.”

“Why’s that?” They’re closer to the wall near the doorframe, and Harry places one of his hands on the wall so he can stand a little closer to her. People were walking by them so it’s not like they were the only people in the kitchen.

“Because guys always assume I’m a lesbian or something because I play hockey, so they don’t even bother looking at me.”

“That’s too bad.” He looks her up and down. “You’re quite a sight to see, and I don’t just mean because you’re all dressed up tonight.”

Y/N blushes slightly. She was suddenly painfully aware of how close Harry was to her. Was he flirting? Making a move? Did she want him to? Was he just drunk? Was she drunk?

“You…you look nice tonight too.” She tugs on the hem of his shirt. “You have a lot of tattoos.”

“Does it surprise you?”

“A little. I’m even surprised to see you out like this.”

“Just because I take school seriously doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun.” His lips curl up as the song changes. “Do you wanna go downstairs and dance?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

She leads him down the stairs to the stuffy basement where a ton of sweaty people were dancing and playing pong. Whoever had the aux tonight was a genius, playing bop after bop after bop. Traphouse was just starting to play. Y/N was hoping for less of a slow grind to start off with for her and Harry, but oh well. She downs the rest of her drink and tosses the cup somewhere. Harry’s eyebrows raise, but he does the same. If she didn’t care, why should he?

Harry easily was a foot taller than her, especially with him wearing his boots. His hands find her hips and hers hook around his neck. He steps to put his leg between hers so she could grind on his thigh. He clearly knew what he was doing, and she was sort of impressed. Even though he was right there in front of her, it was still hard to think of Harry as someone who partied.  

She presses her head into his chest as they get going, and his head dips down to rest against hers. Getting to smell his cologne this close was making her feel even more intoxicated then she was. The song fades into Shake It by Metro Station and they both start giggling. Y/N steps away and starts singing the lyrics and so does Harry, not that they could hear each other. They dance like idiots and laugh a lot. That songs fades into Acquainted by The Weeknd. Y/N turns around and grabs Harry’s hands to put on her hips. He presses his pelvis to her ass, bending slightly at the knees so they were lined up. She moves her hips in perfect rhythm to the song and he follows right along with her. He feels himself growing tighter in his jeans, but he doesn’t do anything to suppress it, and she doesn’t mind one bit. If anything, it makes her press back harder on him. That song was just too powerful. Her head rolls back to chest as they continue to grind, and he hides his face in her neck. In a moment of bravery he starts kissing on her. One of her hands hooks around him so she can tug at his hair. He bites down and a slight moan leaves her lips. He pops off her and she turns around to face him. She presses her body close to his and keeps her arms around his neck. His hands are low on her back, just above her bum. He looks down at her and she leans up further so their lips can touch.

He tastes like the vodka cranberry that he was drinking earlier as she licks at his bottom lip. He opens up for her and she licks into his mouth. His tongue meets hers and he pulls her as close to him as he can. Things were getting heated quickly, especially as they continued to grind on each other. When the song ends they stop to look at each other. He leans down to her ear.

“Do you wanna go back to my place?”

“Yes.” She nods and he smiles.

He takes her hand in his and they both go upstairs. Y/N finds Gina and Amanda to let them know she was going over to Harry’s. Now, not that Y/N was living a lie, but she was definitely still a virgin. She had made out with plenty of guys, but that’s all. Her friends knew this so they both ask to make sure she was certain she wanted to go back with him. She assured them that she did. As they leave, Harry puts his arm around her shoulders, and she puts hers around his waist.

“I don’t live too far from here.”

“You’re off campus?”

“Mhm.”

“How?”

“I live with some of the other international students. Some of them are older, it just worked out.”

“Must be nice, I can’t wait to get off campus next year.”

“The privacy is definitely nice.” He says as he pulls her closer.

They walk up the steps to his apartment and he keys in. He pulls her up a set of stairs and down a hall that leads to his room, and he unlocks that door as well. Just as she thought, his room was neat and tidy. Even his bed was made. It was a decent sized bed too, a full, way better than her extra-long twin.

“Wanna listen to some music? I have, like, every record you could think of.” He walks over to his record player and she crosses her arms.

“Of course you have a record player?” She rolls her eyes.

“What? The sound quality is better.” He side eyes her. “Come here, come pick out what you want to listen to, I’m gonna grab us some water.”

“Okay.”

He slips out of the door and she hears him do down the stairs. She flips through the various records, rolling her eyes once in a while, and then she settles on Marvin Gaye.

“Subtle.” He smirks as he comes in with two glasses of water.

“What? I didn’t like anything else.” She takes a glass from him and takes a decent sip.

“Sure.” He chuckles and sets his glass down on his desk, she moves to do the same.

One of his hands finds her hip, and the other cups her jaw. He leans in to kiss her and it was like they never parted in the first place. She tugs him back towards his bed and they both fall onto it. She gets herself back so her head is on his pillows. He kicks his boots off, (her flats fell off when she got on the bed), and he hovers over her. His lips find her collar bone and he starts to suck on her skin. She gasps but lets him continue. He plants wet kisses around her upper chest and throat. Her hands were running through his hair. What’s Going On was playing in the background, and Harry’s hands were running up her thighs.

Her legs are parted, and Harry grinds himself against her. She pulls his face to hers so they can kiss. She didn’t know how many roommates he had so she didn’t want anyone to hear her moan out. He sucks on her bottom lip as his bulge continues to press against hers. How was he so good at this? How much action did he get? He was a sophomore like her, but how old was he actually?

“How, how old are you?”

“What?” He laughs.

“How old are you?” She repeats. 

“I’ll be twenty in February, why?”

“Just wondering…um, you said some of your roommates are older so…”

“Y/N, I promise if I were a lot older, I wouldn’t be trying to fuck some nineteen year old.” He smirks. “You are nineteen, right?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

A wave of relief covers her body as he starts to kiss on her neck again. She couldn’t believe the guy that’s been tutoring her was doing this to her. She could feel how wet she was getting. He groans into her neck as he grinds into her again. She feels his hands go up under her pencil skirt and grab onto her panties.

“Harry, wait!” She gasps. “Don’t!”

He lets go immediately and sits back on his calves so he can look at her. She closes her legs and sits up against the wall.

“Sorry, was I moving too fast?”

“No, it’s just…I thought I was ready for this, but I don’t think I am.”

“Oh…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, that’s okay. We don’t need to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Are you sure? You’re not mad?” She chews on her bottom lip. He was probably hoping to get laid tonight and she just ruined that for him.

“Mad?! I’d be pissed if we did something you didn’t feel comfortable with. I’m not mad, Y/N. It’s really no problem. Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, I wanna keep making out.” She mumbles and it makes him smile. “I like the way you kiss.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He sits next to her and pats his thighs. She swings her leg over so she can straddle him. She pecks at his lips as her hands tug at his shirt.

“I wouldn’t mind if your shirt came off either…if you wanted.”

“Sure.” He stretches to get it off and he tosses it aside.

She runs her hands up and down his torso, tracing his tattoos, as his hands clasp around her back. She presses her lips to his neck and he sighs. She sucks on the spot just below his ear and he pulls her closer. He presses his hips up to hers so their grinding against each other again. She kisses along his jaw until her lips are on his again. He sucks on her tongue and it makes her moan against him. She tugs at his hair again and he has all he can do to not lose it in his pants. She was rubbing herself on his bulge in just the right way, she could feel the knot in her stomach growing more and more.

“Oh god.” She grunts and hides her face in his neck.

“Almost there?” His hands move to her hips to help her move on him.

“Y, yeah, I think so.” She was panting. “Shit, H, Harry.”

“Don’t fight it, it’s alright.” He grunts as he presses her down as close as possible on him.

She cries out into his neck and she slows her own movements as she works through it. She twitches on top of him during her aftershocks and then she just clings to him. He rubs her back to soothe her. He wasn’t sure if someone else had ever given her an orgasm before so he didn’t want her to feel freaked out or anything.

“Kiss me.” He whispers.

She presses her swollen lips to his and she whimpers. He was incredibly hard and he needed to go relieve himself before he got blue balls.

“Y/N?” He says against her lips.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I just go use the bathroom quickly? And then I’ll come right back to you.”

“Okay.” He gently lifts her off of him and her eyes grow wide when she sees his bulge. She was also slightly embarrassed because even though he was wearing black jeans, she could see where her wetness got onto him. “You can wear this if you want…” He rifles through his drawers for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

“Oh, um, thank you.”

“Be back in a sec.”

He quickly leaves the room and she changes into his clothes. She really needed to pee herself, but she didn’t want to walk around his apartment alone. She patiently waits for him, scrolling on her phone, and he returns. There was a new sheen of sweat on his chest, and his bulge was gone. He goes into his drawer for a new pair of boxers.

“Would you care if I just stay in these? It’s a little hot in here.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. Um, would it be weird if I asked you to walk me to the bathroom?”

“Not at all! Come on, love.”

She smiles at the pet name. He used it a couple of times when he was tutoring her, but now it felt especially good. Harry thought she was cute. His big bad hockey player had gotten all soft around him. He walks her down to the bathroom and he changes in the hallway quickly, feeling relief from his clean pair of boxers. He also couldn’t help but smirk to himself thinking of how large his clothes were on her. Y/N uses the toilet and then uses some of the mouthwash on the sink before opening the door.

“All set?” Harry whispers.

“Mhm.”

She tries not to stare at his almost naked body as they walk back to his room. He flips the light off as she crawls into bed, and he grabs his laptop. She watches as he opens up Disney Plus.

“I’ve been watching Hannah Montana, do you feel like watching that?”

“Are you serious?” She laughs.

“Yeah! I’m fucking sick of people making references and me having zero idea what they’re talking about. Her songs are all over tik tok and I never understand.”

“Well, lucky for you I love this show, so I’d be happy to watch.”

“Good.” He smiles and hits play. He sets the laptop up at the end of the bed, and throws an arm around her. He strokes her arm lightly with his fingers that she noticed he painted black tonight.

“So…that wasn’t weird?”

“What?” He asks without looking at her.

“Um…me…doing that on you?”

“You mean when you came from grinding on me? No, it wasn’t weird.” He smirks and looks down at her. “It was pretty hot actually.”

“Did you…take care of yourself?”

“Yeah, is that weird?”

“No.” He kisses the top of her head. “You’re okay that I didn’t offer?”

“You pretty clearly said you weren’t ready to do that, so it’s fine.”

“I’ve never, um, taken my pants off for someone before…my top either.” She blushes. The alcohol in her system was making her a little too honest.

Harry sighs and reaches forward to pause the show. He sits back and looks at her.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. Whether you’ve had sex before or not, you didn’t want to tonight and that’s okay. I should have asked first before grabbing at you like that, so I apologize.”

“No! No, it was okay, I just got nervous. I thought…I mean…when we were at the party I really thought I wanted to, I don’t know what happened. It got real all of a sudden and I panicked.”

“I like you, Y/N, I don’t mind waiting.”

“What do you mean you like me?”

“I mean I’ve had a fucking crush on you since the first time I tutored you. I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way, so I just kept it to myself.”

“Oh.” A boy had never liked Y/N like this before. Sure, she had found random drunk guys to make out with at parties before, but a boy had never openly said they liked her. “This is all so surprising, I’m a little overwhelmed.” She looks up at him and kisses his cheek. “But…I really liked what we did tonight, so maybe when I’m more sober we could talk about these feelings of yours more?”

“I’d like that.” He smiles and pecks her lips.

“Hit play, this is a good episode. She thinks her dad wrote a song about a bunny that stole his money.”

“Do hijinks ensue?”

“Oh, yes, many.”

“Fantastic.”

He leans forward to hit play, and she cuddles up with him.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with Harry’s arms wrapped around her. It was early. She squints and sees his clock says 7:15. Her head and stomach didn’t feel great, but she easily could have felt worse so she wasn’t complaining. She adjusts against him and turns over to lay on her back. His hand moves to the side of her neck, and he gives her cheek a few smooches, making her giggle.

“Morning.” His morning voice ripples through her. Harry was sexy, it was official.

“Morning.” She whispers.

“Wanna go to the dining hall for breakfast?”

“Could I stop by my apartment first?”

“Sure.” He gets out of bed and looks for something in his dresser. “Here.” He tosses her some sweatpants. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower.”

When he comes back she’s wearing her crop top paired with his sweats. She put his other clothes in his hamper. His towel was hanging low on his hips. He grabs some clothes and changes in his closet. He comes back out in a hoodie and joggers. He cleans his glasses and puts them on.

“You won’t be cold?”

“Nah, it’ll be fine.”

They leave his place and walk to hers. Campus was always interesting this time of morning. There were other people walking back to their dorms and apartments. Y/N felt lucky she wasn’t walking alone.

“This is me.”

“Oh cool, you have student app. I’ve been to a couple of these, they’re nice.”

“Yeah, I have my own room, it’s just annoying that we still have to follow all the rules.” She unlocks the door and he stands outside with his hands in his pockets. “You can come in if you want? You can come up and wait in my room.”

“Alright.”

They both go in and head up the stairs. She was thankful her room was mostly clean, but her bed certainly wasn’t made. She grabs another shirt to change into and tells Harry she’s just gonna be in the bathroom. He sits on her bed and looks around her room. All of her hockey gear was piled up in a corner, she had posters of different teams she liked, and she had a poster of Dylan O’Brien from when he was on Teen Wolf.

She comes back shortly in a sports bra and his sweats, and her hair up in a messy bun. She throws on a hoodie of her own, and smiles at him.

“Okay, I’m all set.”

“Great, I’m starved. Definitely need a coffee too.”

“Oh, for sure.”

Just as she opens the door to go outside, she sees Amanda.

“Wait, I thought you stayed at his place.” She says.

“I did, we just came back here so I could change.”

“Those aren’t your pants.” She smirks. “Hi, Harry.” She teases.

“Hi, um, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Amanda.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Where’s Gina?” Y/N asks.

“Passed out in her bed, I think. I made sure she got home before hooking up with this girl from the soccer team. My god, Y/N, she-“ Amanda stops herself. “I’ll tell you later, I need to shower. Where are you headed?”

“Dhall.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Y/N smiles and shakes her head at her friend. Her and Harry walk to the dining hall and swipe in. They decide on where to sit before going up to grab food.

“So, what other Disney shows are you going to catch up on?” She asks as she sips on her coffee once they’re at their table.

“I think That’s So Raven is up next.”

“Oh, excellent choice.” She smiles. He rests his elbow on the table, chin in his palm. He can’t stop smiling at her. “What?” She asks, shoveling eggs into her mouth.

“Nothing, I just think you’re cute.”

Y/N nearly chokes on her food, and takes a large sip of her iced coffee. He gives her a concerned look as she calms down.

“Oh, yeah, you have a thing for me.” She blushes. “Still need to get used to that.” 

“The real question is, do you have a thing for me? I mean, you must a little bit with how you were kissing me last night.” He gives her a coy look before biting into his toast.

“You’re…I mean, yeah, I have a thing for you. I like you, I like when we get together for tutoring. I even started looking forward to it.”

“How’d your test go yesterday, by the way?”

“I think it went really well…he said we should have our grades Monday.” Harry hums his response. “You’ll still tutor me, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know…I just feel like I made things weird…”

“Would you stop with that? I had plenty of fun last night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then.” He shrugs. “I really don’t care that I didn’t get my dick wet, Y/N. I care more about you being comfortable.”

“But you could have taken someone else home and-“

“I didn’t want to take anyone else home. Just wanted you.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

“But…why?”

“Well, for starters, since we met you’ve just been utterly yourself. You’re not afraid to say what’s what. I like when people speak their minds. I’ve tutored a lot of athletes, and I’ve never seen one work as hard as you. Usually they want me to do everything for them, and I don’t because I can’t be there to take the fucking test for them, but you genuinely wanted to understand the material.”

“I just always look like such a schlub when we meet, though.”

“See, what you call schlubby, I call sporty. You usually go to the gym after our meetings, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then. I like all people, but I’ve never really been attracted to frillier girls. I like when girls don’t feel the need to impress others all the time. You’re just comfortable, and I like that.”

“I dress up for class sometimes, I just-“

“You don’t need to justify anything, Y/N. I mean, you looked insanely hot last night, but even if you had shown up to that party in sweats, I still would have wanted you to come home with me.”

“So…you wanna, like, date me? Is that it?”

“Date, hang out, whatever.” He shrugs. “I’m not picky about labels.”

“And you’re not talking to anyone else?”

“I haven’t had the time. I’ve been tutoring this really needy girl that has to see me twice a fucking week.” He smirks at her and she nudges him.

“I may be small, but I could beat the shit out of you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, babe.” He winks and takes a sip of his coffee. “I have some stuff I have to do today, I like to get my homework done on Saturdays, but are you free tonight?”

“Yeah, we have the weekend off since we won. I don’t think the girls are doing anything, if they are I could always skip out, why?”

“My roommates and I are having a movie night if you’d like to come over.”

“I wouldn’t be crashing?”

“Not at all. They bring dates all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds nice.”

“I can come get you too so you don’t have to walk alone.”

“What movie?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Nothing scary, I can tell you that.”

“Works for me.” 

//

“Spill it, bitch, let’s go.” Gina says as she pins Y/N down on the floor of the living room.

“You guys are annoying.” Y/N giggles from Gina tickling her. “Okay, okay!”

Gina gets off her and helps her up. She gets on the couch and lays her head in Amanda’s lap. Amanda strokes her hair and she sighs.

“We went back to his place, we made out, and then I got nervous so I didn’t take my clothes off, but we ended up dry humping, and things didn’t stay dry very long.”

“Oh my god, did he jizz in his pants?” Gina asks.

“No, but I did. I can tell he’s big, and we were grinding really hard on each other and I came.”

“Oh my god!” Amanda squeals. “What did he do?”

“He took care of himself in the bathroom, and gave me some clothes to wear. We ended up falling asleep watching Hannah Montana. God, and he likes me, like he really likes me, and I think I like him too. He invited me over for a movie night with his roommates later.”

“You know what was a good sign? The fact that he wanted to get breakfast with you, and walked you to and from the dining hall. That’s a man right there.” Amanda says.

“No, what makes him a man is that when Y/N said stop he stopped.” Gina remarks. “I like him already.”

“He was seriously so chill about it, I was honestly shocked. I appreciated it, but I wasn’t expecting him to be so okay with me not wanting to go further.”

“That’s the shitty thing about college. Good people are a dime a dozen.” Amanda says 

//

Y/N straightens her hair and puts a little makeup on. She settles on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with the school’s logo on it. She takes a shot with the girls just to take the edge off, and hears a knock at the door. She grabs her jean jacket and opens the door.

“Hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Hey, love, how was your day?”

“Good.” She giggles and leans up to kiss his cheek, taking him a bit by surprise.

“Now, young man…” Amanda says, walking over with Gina. “What time can we expect our girl home?”

“Who said she’s not spending the night again?” He raises an eyebrow at them. “Quite liked waking up next to you.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N says, clearly flustered. “I’ll text in the group chat so you know what I’m doing, bye!” She pulls Harry out the door. “Don’t add fuel to their fire.” She nudges him.

“I was just being honest.” He throws his arm around her. “I hope you’ll stay again, but if you don’t want to I’ll bring you home, no big deal.”

Instead of going right up the stairs when they get to Harry’s place, he leads her down the corridor, passing by the kitchen and a hall bath, and into the large living room. There was a giant sectional sofa and even more giant TV across from it. There were a couple of guys sitting down already.

“Oi, there you are.”

“I said I was stepping out to get my girl, didn’t I?” He rolls his eyes. “Y/N, this is Louis and Niall.”

“Hi.” She says, trying not to melt into a puddle from being called his girl.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m gonna get some popcorn made. Do you want a beer or anything?”

“Beer’s fine, thank you.”

She sits down on the edge of the sofa and leans against the arm rest.

“You’re on the hockey team, right?” Niall asks.

“Mhm…you look familiar, are you on the soccer team?”

“We both are.” Louis says.

“Oh, cool. Is it just the three of you here?”

“No, we have two other roommates, but they practically live at their girlfriend’s places.” Niall explains. “We have some other friends coming soon, though, it’s good for you to claim your spot now.”

“Yeah, some of the other senate kids usually join us.” Louis says. “So you’re the girl Harry’s been tutoring, huh? He won’t shut up about you, it’s pretty cute.”

“Oi! Don’t embarrass me or I’m not sharing the popcorn.” Harry says, tossing them each a beer, and handing Y/N one. He sits down next to her with the bowl of popcorn in his lap.

A few of the student senate kids show up and Harry ends up pulling Y/N into his lap to make room on the couch. She didn’t mind one bit. They had settled on Napoleon Dynamite for a movie, which was perfect. There was one girl, though, that had sat right next to Harry, and she had sort of been flirting with him. Take the hint, I’m in his lap, not you, Y/N thought to herself. Harry notices Y/N finish her second beer.

“Want another?”

“I can get it.”

“You’re my guest.” He kisses her cheek and lifts her up so he can get up.

“How long have you known Harry for?” The girl asks.

“Um…like a month? What about you?”

“We met last year.” She flips her hair.

“Here we are, a fresh beer.” He hands one to Y/N and tosses a couple out to his friends. He lifts Y/N up and plops her back in his lap, making her giggle.

Everyone was having a good time, laughing at the hilarious movie. The lights had been dimmed when the movie started, so Harry was able to discretely kiss on Y/N’s neck once in a while. When the movie ends, Louis and Niall let Harry know there’s a party at the soccer house and he can swing by if he wants, and out the door they go. That leaves Harry and Y/N with the senate kids. They get into a game of Cards Against Humanity, which ends up being pretty fun. It was starting to get late, though, and it was clear that Harry wanted to be alone with Y/N.

“One more round.” The girl says.

“Nah, come on, Ari, we should go.” A boy, Billy, says.

“Yeah.” Another boy, Andrew, agrees. “I’m beat, and we need to walk you home.” They both stand up, and he extends a hand to her. She groans, but stands.

Harry walks them all to the door and says goodnight. He walks back over to Y/N who was cleaning up the living room.

“You don’t have to do that, I can clean up, love.”

“It’s okay, it’s just a few cans.”

“Follow me, we have a recycling in the kitchen.”

She follows him in and he opens the door for the pantry where the kept a bucket for empty cans.

“That girl has a crush on you, yeah?”

“Who? Ari?! No way.”

“Come on, Harry.” She scoffs. “If I wasn’t sitting on top of you I’d say she was.”

“Aw, it’s cute your jealous.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“I’m not, I’m just saying.” She wraps her arms around his neck. “I picked up on the vibe.”

“Well, even if she did it doesn’t matter because I don’t like her like that. I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“I should fucking hope so.” He chuckles. “Wanna come up to my room?”

“Yeah.”

He pecks her lips and then leads her up the stairs. He flops onto his bed and she crawls on top of him. His hands find her hips and she rids him of his glasses, gently putting them on one of his pillows. She leans down so their chests are pressed to each other and they start kissing. One of his hands moves to the back of her head so he can tug at her hair.

“Can I…touch your butt?” Y/N laughs against him and nods yes. His hand slides further south and he squeezes her right cheek. “You’re so fucking perfect, you know that?”

She sucks on his bottom lip as her answer and he pushes his hips up to hers. They grind against each other just as they did the night before. Both of his hands knead her cheeks as her hand slide up under his shirt. They were both starting to sweat. She sits up on him and lifts her shirt off. His eyes grow wide as he sees her breasts practically spilling out of her bra.

“It’s hot.” She whines and tugs at the hem of his shirt. He sits up so she can pull it off him.

“Let me turn the fan on, yeah?”

She nods and lets him get up to turn his fan on. He snatches his glasses and puts them in their case on his desk, and then he gets back on the bed, sitting up against the wall, and she crawls back into his lap. He kisses on her necks and down her chest, biting on the fleshy parts of the tops of her breasts. She tugs at his hair and rolls her hips down on him.

“You…you can take it off if you want.”

“Are you sure? Is that what you want?” He looks up at her. “Last night…”

“I was really drunk, I have more of my wits about me now. I’m okay if my bra comes off.”

“Okay, but if you wanna cover back up just let me know.”

“I will.”

He reaches around and gets her bra unhooked in a couple of swift movements. He tugs it down her shoulders and tosses it to the floor. He gazes at her bare chest and licks his lips. His large hands cup both of them and he kneads them at first, just getting a feel. His thumbs rub circles into her nipples, getting them nice and hard. He kisses down her chest again, and just uses his tongue to lick and swirl around her nipple. Who was he? Y/N’s head was swimming. She thought Harry was just a stuffy, studious college kid, but fuck, he was almost…devious. He blows on her now wet nipple before wrapping his lips around it to suck on.

“Oh!” She gasps and presses his head closer to her. She grits her teeth and closes her eyes, loving the new sensation he was bringing her. He pops off and does the same to the other one.

“So,” He says, kissing his way back to her neck. “No one’s ever had the privilege of seeing you like this?”

“No.” She swallows.

“I feel really lucky then.” He nips at her bottom lip. “You like the way it felt?”

“Mhm.” She nods. “Felt really good.”

“Good. I always wanna make you feel good.”

He puts his face between her breasts and press them around his cheeks, making her giggle. He mumbles something.

“What?” She laughs and he looks up at her.

“Just feels so nice, they’re so big.”

“Sometimes I have to wear two sports bras so I’m not bouncing around on the ice.”

“I bet.” He starts kneading them again.

“I feel like I just wanna do everything with you.” She says as she rolls her hips on him again.

“God, I feel the same way, but only when you really feel ready, Y/N.”

“I know, you just make me feel so comfortable.”

“Have you…I mean you said you’d never taken your pants off for someone before, but have you ever seen someone else?”

“Um, no…”

“So you’ve never gotten a guy off before.” He doesn’t ask, he’s more so confirming.

“Right.”

“Okay.” He smiles and kisses her. “Think we should cool it for the night then before I get a little too excited.”

“Oh, alright.” She was hoping to maybe come again. He lifts her up and sets her down. She crosses her arms over herself as he gets up, he looks over his shoulder at her.

“No need to cover up, babe, I’m just changing outta these pants.”

“I just feel a little exposed right now.”

“Want one of my shirts?”

“Yes, please.”

He tosses her a t-shirt and she puts it on. He strips down to his boxers and gets back on the bed. He furrows his brows at her leggings.

“You’re not gonna sleep in those, are you?”

“Well…I’m only wearing a thong underneath, so I’m not sure what else to do…”

“Christ.” He blushes and gets up, searching for a clean pair of boxers. “You can wear these if you want.”

“I feel like I’m going to own all of your clothes at some point.”

“I like the way they look on you, so I don’t mind.”

She stands up and turns around to change while he lays on the bed. He wants to respect her privacy, but he’s nineteen, so he sneaks a peak. She climbs onto the bed with him and snuggles up. He falls asleep before her, and she can’t help feeling restless.

“Harry.” She sits up nudges his shoulder. “Harry, are you awake?”

“I can be.” He says softly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…I just…um, would you…take care of me?”

“Y/N…” He sits up and caresses her cheek.

“It’s so hard just laying here next to you, I want you to touch me or something. You made me feel so good last night, and you got me all riled up before.”

“Left you hanging?”

“Yeah.” She pouts.

“What do you want me to do specifically? I only wanna do something you wanna do.”

“I don’t want to have sex, but I do want these boxers to come off, and I think I want your head between my legs…if you’re up for it, that is.”

“Oh, babe.” He smirks. “I’m more than up for it. Just tell me to stop if you get nervous.”

“I will.”

He shifts to get between her legs, and he tugs on the boxers, slowly sliding them down her legs. Once they’re gone he gently opens her legs up for him. She was shaking slightly.

“Hey, hey.” He leans up to kiss her. “You’re alright, yeah? Do you not want to do this?”

“No, I do, please it’s okay. I really wanna feel you on me.”

“Okay.”

He gets back between her legs. It was dark, so it was a little hard to see, but it wasn’t rocket science, so Harry licks up from her center to her clit. She gasps, and he does this a few times.

“Doing alright?”

“Yeah, keep going.” She bites her bottom lip.

He licks and sucks around her folds and then he sucks on her clit. This causes her hands to fly to his hair. He flicks the tip of his tongue on the small bundle and then sucks again. Y/N tries to stifle her moans by biting her lip, but it’s starting to hurt.

“No one’s home, love, just let it out.” He says against her. “Can I use my fingers?”

“Please, yes, need it.”

He smirks up at her, not that she can really see. He sucks his middle finger into his mouth before slowly inserting it. She gasps out a moan. He’s slowly lapping away at her clit while his finger goes deeper, to his knuckle. His hips press into the mattress, trying to get some relief of his own. She was so warm and inviting, and it was killing him. He was taking it slow with her, not wanting to hurt her, but he couldn’t help himself from twisting and curling his finger. He was looking for that special spot.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. Bingo. He’s got it.

“Right there?” He rubs his finger against it again.

“Yes, oh shit.” She groans.

Harry sucks on her clit while continuing to use his finger inside her. She can’t help the way she’s breathing and panting, it just makes him work faster and harder.

“H, Harry, I think I’m going to c….oh my god!” She throws her head back as she feels her release.

He retracts his finger and laps away at her center. He kisses her inner thigh to help calm her down. He sits back up slowly to look at her. He couldn’t tell, but her cheeks were flushed.

“Would you, um, walk with me to the bathroom?”

“Of course.”

She doesn’t bother putting the boxers back on. The shirt she was wearing covered her plenty, and he was just nose deep in her crotch so she didn’t need to be shy. Once she’s done he tells her to go wait for him in his room. He needed to take care of himself.

“Think you’ll be able to sleep now?” He teases as he gets back into bed with her. 

“I feel bad…”

“About what?” He pulls her close to him so she can rest her head on his chest.

“I should have taken care of you.”

“One step at a time.” He kisses the top of her head. “When you feel ready we can do that. I feel happy that you trusted me enough to do what we just did.”

“I feel happy too.” She yawns.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that. 

//

Monday, Y/N got her test back from her Mind, Brain, and Evolution class. Her eyes grew wide when she saw her grade, an 88%! She was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to tell Harry. She didn’t get to chat with him too much Sunday. He walked her home, kissed her goodbye, and then had to get some things done before his student senate meeting. Why they met on Sunday evenings was beyond her.

It was just her luck that he was at the dining hall for lunch at the same as her. She sets her food down and snatches the test from her bag.

“I’ll be right back ladies, gotta go tell my man how well I did.” She grins.

They all cheer her on as she struts over to him. She was clad in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but she still felt cute. She’s felt incredibly cute ever since Saturday night. Harry was deep in conversation with his friends Y/N goes right over to him and wraps her arms around him, shaking the paper in front of his face. It takes him completely by surprise. He snatches the test and he looks up at her.

“Oh my god!” he nearly squeals and stands up to hug her. “This is amazing! I knew you could do it.”

“A B+, I couldn’t believe it! I still can’t, and it’s all thanks to you.” She wraps her arms around his neck, not giving a fuck that his friends were watching, especially that girl Ari.

“It was all you, I’m so proud of you.” He kisses her forehead.

“I better get back over to them so I can eat, but I just couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“I’m glad you came over here. I’ll see you tomorrow at two, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles.

“Great, celebratory coffee on me then.” He smiles back and kisses her cheek before she walks away.

“So, you’re, like, dating the hockey girl?” Billy asks.

“There’s more to her than that.” Harry says as he sits down. “We’re hanging out.” He shrugs.

“What class are you even tutoring her in?” Ari asks.

“Mind, Brain, and Evolution. She’s actually really smart, she’s a business major. This class is just tricky.”

“I remember taking that last semester with you!” Andrew chimes in. “Think I only passed because we sat next to each other.”

“Now that she’s got a good grade you don’t still need to tutor her do you?” Ari asks.

“No, I’m definitely going to tutor her.”

“Why?”

“You know how when you go on antibiotics and you start to feel better, but you may have like half your pills left to take? You don’t just stop taking them until you feel better, right? You have to take all of your medicine.”

“Yeah, and Harry’s for sure gonna give her that medicine.” Billy teases him.

“Oh, stop. I like her, and she likes me. Thank god, thought I was going to explode from it being one sided.”

“When’s her next game?” Andrew asks.

“Wednesday. We have to make sure we go again. 

//

Harry already has the iced coffees ready to go when Y/N meets him in the café of the library Tuesday afternoon. She was clad in her workout clothes, hair up in a messy bun.

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes the coffee from him.

“I even put the cream and sugar in it for you.”

“I noticed, how kind.” She smirks.

They find a table to go study at and set up. She goes over the new unit and what’s already sort of not making sense to her. Harry goes over his notes, and does his best to explain things to her. After an hour or so, they take a break.

“How have you been feeling?” He softly asks her.

“About what?”

“What we did Saturday night…we haven’t even texted about it, so I didn’t know if you were avoiding the conversation.”

“Oh! I feel really great. Um, I guess I just didn’t know what to say. I’m glad we did it.”

“Me too.” He looks down and then back to her. “It’ll be nice to do it again, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and a slight blush covers her cheeks. “Um, I don’t know if you’re coming to the game tomorrow or not, but-“

“I’ll be there.” He cuts her off. “Go on.”

“When we have games during the week we can’t exactly party all night, so we usually go downtown and order a bunch of food. Some of the girls invite their significant others, and, well, if you don’t mind being out a little late I was wondering if you’d wanna come too.”

“I’d love to.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” He smiles. “Gotta be there for my girl.” He clears his throat. “Let’s get back to it, I don’t wanna make you late for the gym.”

Y/N liked that Harry was always so serious, she may not have before, but now she just thought it was cute. He lets her do some reading for class while he works on his own homework.

“This is nice.” He speaks up.

“What is?”

“Just doing homework together. We could do this more if you want. I’d obviously still tutor you on the clock, but we could get together sometimes to do other homework.” He stops typing and looks at her. “Then we could, uh, see each other more…if you wanted.”

“I’d like that.” She smiles. “I end up doing homework with the girls a lot, but you’re more than welcome to come over and join.”

“Sounds like fun.”

She looks at the time and sighs, closing her laptop and packing up.

“I have to get going.”

“I’m gonna stay here a bit longer, otherwise I’d walk you out.”

“That’s alright.” She leans down and pecks his lips before slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the game?”

“You will.” He smiles brightly. “Bye, love.”

“Bye.”

Y/N had butterflies. This was a dream come true.

//

The ice arena wasn’t as packed as the first home game, but there were still a lot of people there. The thing about women’s ice hockey is that you aren’t allowed to fight, so it’s less exciting than men’s ice hockey. Or, that’s what people say. It was annoying that they couldn’t fight. There were plenty of people that Y/N just wanted to deck while she was out there.

She looks out to the stands and sees Harry with the student senate crew holding up a sign for her. It had her number on it and everything. Harry looked cute in his beanie and sweater. Y/N played great and she loved looking over to see Harry cheering, not that she let it distract her. She was able to assist two goals, and the team won 4-1. It was an incredible game.

After the coach goes over what their next practice will consist of, and his congratulations, he leaves to let the girls change.

“Dinner down at the pub in twenty ladies!” Ashley yells.

Everyone runs to the showers to clean themselves up. Y/N throws on a pair of jeans and a black top. She grabs a light windbreaker and puts some product in her wet hair so it dries nice.

“Is Harry coming down?” Gina asks.

“Mhm, he’s going to meet us down there.” She smiles.

All of the girls walk down together. Ashley called ahead so there were a ton of tables pushed together. Harry was waiting outside the pub, along with some of other significant others. Y/N practically jumps on him.

“Great game.” He says into her neck.

“Thanks! I loved seeing you out there. It’s nice to actually have people cheering for us.” She kisses his cheek and lets him go.

Everyone finds their seats. Ashley and some of the other older girls order different pitchers of beer for the table. It was a college bar so no one was really double checking ID’s, especially on a Wednesday, so Y/N poured herself and Harry a glass of beer. They all cheer and clink their glasses.

Nachos, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, fires, and anything else that could be thought of were ordered for everyone. Harry fit right in with everyone, already having a small report with Amanda and Gina.

“I still can’t get over this.” Ashley says. “Our little baby Y/N bringing a guy to dinner.”

“Didn’t you come to the party at our house?” Megan asks. “Is that how you two met?”

“No, he’s been tutoring me for a class.” Y/N explains. “He just happened to be at the party last weekend.”

“Well, Harry, you can come anytime. I know it was your idea to get more people at the women’s games.” Ashley says.

“Y/N told me how much it bothered her that senate goes to a lot of the guys’ games, thought it was only fair to support the girls too. Your games are way more fun to watch. You’re really fighting for it out there, you can feel it.”

“Oh, he’s a keeper for sure.” Megan says.

Y/N leans in to Harry and he puts his arm around her. She looks up at him once the attention is off her a bit.

“Do you want to come back to my place for a little bit?” She asks.

“I would, babe, but I have an 8AM, I need to go home after all this, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I have an early practice anyways…”

“I can hang out tomorrow night, though. I usually go to the soccer house with Niall and Louis, I’m sure they won’t care if you come.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” She smiles and so does he. Damn him for being so responsible.

“Plus, I’ll see at two for tutoring, right?”

“Right.”

“I could come to your place for that.”

“I don’t think we’d get much tutoring done if we do that.” She winks at him and it makes him laugh.

Amanda and Gina give a few minutes to kiss Harry goodbye before they need to part ways.

“Sorry.” She tells them, wiping the corners of her mouth. “He’s such a good kisser.”

“Apparently on both sets of lips.” Amanda teases her.

“Stop! I told you that in confidence.”

“I still can’t believe it didn’t make you want to fuck him right after.” Gina says.

“Believe me, I think I’m getting ready for that, but I’m nervous to see it.”

“His dick?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, I’ve never really seen one before, and I can tell his is big. What if it breaks me in half?” She jokes.

“I bet he’d love to hear that, ask him to break your back.” Gina bursts out laughing.

“You two are annoying.” Y/N groans as they continue their walk to their place.

//

It was hard to get through tutoring for both Y/N and Harry. She wanted him, and he could tell. Every time she looked at him he could see it in her eyes. She was being especially pouty and touchy and it was getting to him. Somehow, they both made it through, and he told her he’d pick her up around nine to bring her to his place to pregame before going to the soccer house.

She gets her workout in, showers, and then makes dinner with Amanda and Gina. The three all get some more homework done before going upstairs to get ready.

“Alright, what am I wearing? Jeans and a crop top?”

“What if you wore like a bralette and some high waisted mom jeans?” Gina asks. “That’s always a look.”

“I don’t know what the vibe is at the soccer house, I don’t want to be too exposed.” She pulls out her mom jeans and a black short sleeve crop top. “I think this could be cute, and I’ll put some waves in my hair.”

“I like it.” Amanda asks. “You’re going to his place first, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Assert your dominance and pack an overnight bag. Bring your own toothbrush and pj’s. Show him you’re not afraid to get comfy.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. I feel like I’ve been stealing his clothes.” She snatches a string backpack from the floor. “Plus, my drinks won’t clink the bag with some clothes in there. What are you two up to tonight?”

“I think we’re going over to the field hockey house for a bit, and then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

“Nice! That’ll be fun, they always throw great parties.”

The three all finish getting ready, and Y/N packs her hard seltzers into her bag. Harry knocks on the door right at nine, and she flings herself onto him. He chuckles as he kisses her.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Ready?”

“Yup, bye girls!” She yells as she swings the door shut.

When they get into Harry’s she moves to go right up the stairs to his room, but he clutches her wrist.

“Pregame is in the kitchen, babe.”

“I know, I just wanna put my bag in your room first, is that alright?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” He goes upstairs with her and he watches as she pulls out shorts and a t-shirt, her toothbrush, and her hairbrush.

“It’s okay I brought this stuff, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I want you to be comfortable.”

“Just making sure.” She grabs her bag and they both head downstairs.

She cracks open a seltzer and they all listen to music while they get a little buzzed. Niall and Louis were funny. Harry leaves her down in the kitchen with them for a few minutes while he goes upstairs to put his contacts in. He didn’t like wearing his glasses to parties because one time someone pushed him, they fell off, and broke. His mum wasn’t too happy when she had to ship him a new pair.

“Did you all live together last year too?”

“Nope, I met Harry from class, and we were already on the soccer team together.” Niall says. “They have these mandatory international student meetings, so the three of us sort of just started hanging out. Lou’s a couple years older so we were able to get off campus. The other two, who are literally never here, are international students too. It all sort of just worked out.”

“Harry’s a great roommate too, he cooks a lot.” Louis chuckles.

“Because if I didn’t.” Harry says as he comes back in. “You two would waste your money on shit all the time.” He throws his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and finishes off his drink.

“We ready? It’s ten, gotta get there before they start turning people away.” Louis says.

Everyone agrees, so Harry loads up Y/N bags with some drinks, and out the door they go.

”I have to warn you, the soccer house is gross.” Harry says. “Those guys leave it a mess. It’s huge so it’s great for a party, but you’re better off having a wee in the bushes than using one of their bathrooms.”

“Well, I’m glad I went before we left then.” Y/N chuckles.

They all get inside, and music is already blaring. Y/N recognizes a few of the guys and she gives them hugs. They congratulate her on her win from the night prior. The house packed already, it smelled like various types of smoke, the floors were sticky with god knows what, and there were a fuck ton of guys.

“Y/N you need a drink?” One of them asks.

“No, I brought my own, but thanks!” She follows Harry into another room where things were a bit more chill. They each take a drink out of her bag and crack them open.

The party was fun for the most part, good music was playing, and Harry looked fucking hot. Y/N liked that he clearly had outfits for partying and outfits for school. Tonight he was wearing a blue short-sleeve button up with the first few buttons undone paired with a black pair of skinny jeans that had a few rips in them. He had rings on his fingers and his nails were painted a pastel purple.

Y/N wished she hadn’t been drinking so much because she desperately needed to pee. She wondered if what Harry said was true, if the bathrooms were really that gross. She searches for another girl and leaves his side.

“Hey, this is random, but you wanna go to the bathroom with me?”

“OMG, sure!” She says brightly. The girl had long blonde hair and a tight dress on.

“Thanks!”

That was the one good thing about drunk girls, they were always willing to be a bathroom buddy. The girl tugs Y/N up a set of stairs.

“Less people using this one!” She says over the music.

She was right, no one was upstairs. It was nice to take a break from the loudness. Both girls go into the bathroom and grimace.

“I don’t get this, boys need to sit down to shit, wouldn’t they try to keep it clean?” The girl scoffs and checks her makeup in the mirror.

“Guess I’ll be squatting.” Y/N sighs, and unzips her pants. She squats over the toilet and pees. “Thanks for coming with me, I wasn’t about to ask my…uh, my date to come with me.”

“No problem girl! I need a pee break myself.”

Y/N flushes and stands up all the way, switching spots with the girl so she could pee. Y/N washes her hands and checks her own makeup.

“Who are you here with?” The girl asks as she pulls her panties back, moving to wash her hands.

“Harry Styles.”

“Oh! I’ve seen him around, he’s cute.”

“Very.” They both giggle. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Karina.”

They smile and both head out and down the stairs. They wave goodbye to each other as they make their way back to their people. Y/N walks right up behind Harry and wraps her arms around him. He’s surprised at first and then relaxes when he sees it’s Y/N.

“Where’d you go with that girl?!”

“To the bathroom! We used the one upstairs!”

“Did you know her?!”

“Nope!” She laughs and so does Harry.

As the night goes on, Y/N starts to feel dancey and notices other people dancing in one of the larger rooms, so she tugs Harry over and wraps her arms around his neck so they can grind front to front. His hands go right to her hips, and his lips find her cheek and then her neck. One of her hands slides up to his hair to rake through. She noses his jaw to get his attention and suddenly her tongue was in his mouth. He pulls her closer and backs them up towards a wall, pressing her up against it. She wondered, briefly, how many girls Harry had made out with at a party. She knew he had to have fucked a lot. No guy could be that good at eating out without some practice. The jealousy she feels seeps in and she bites down on his lower lip a little too hard. He winces and pulls away for a moment. He catches his breath and looks down at her, moving some hair away from her face.

“Alright?!”

“How often do you do this?!”

“Do what?!”

“Make out with girls at parties! Take those girls home and fuck them!” She wasn’t sure where this was all coming from. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was starting to sink in that she gave up a part of herself to someone that she had only known a few weeks.

“Hey! Whoa! Where is this…” He leans in to speak into her ear. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’m just feeling…weird all of a sudden. You have so much experience, and I don’t have a lot, so-“

He moves back to look at her. He cups her jaw and leans in to kiss her. He gives her a few kisses before moving his lips to her ear again.

“Let’s get out of here, then we can talk more, okay?”

She nods yes and he takes her hand. He leads her out of the house, and the chilly night air hits her like a ton of bricks.

“Can you walk alright?” He asks her.

“Can I? Yes. Do I want to? No.”

“Alright, well hop on.” He crouches in front of her.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, all aboard.”

She giggles and hops onto his back. She rests her chin on his shoulder and nibbles on his earlobe, making him giggle.

“Thought you were upset with me for a second.”

“I got jealous.”

“Of what, babe?”

“Anyone that’s ever been with you.” She shamelessly admits. “I know that’s dumb.”

“I haven’t been with that many people.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“It is if it’s bothering you, Y/N.”

“You’re just really good at it, and it made me think that you’ve had a lot of practice. Not to mention that everything you do surprises me. I’m still shocked that you’re the type of guy to make out openly at a party.”

“I mean, yeah, I’m a nice guy, but I’m like any other guy sometimes. I’m respectful, but I still wanna have fun.”

He gets to his place and sets her down so he can unlock the door. They both go straight to his room, and they sit on the edge of his bed.

“We were having such a good time, walk me through what happened?” He asks as he gets up to take his contacts out.

“I don’t know, it was like while we were kissing it made me think of how many times you’ve done that sort of thing before. Doesn’t that happen to you with me?”

“Not really.” He sits back down next to her, running a hand through his hair. He kicks his boots off and looks at her. “I’m more or less just lost in you.”

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable since we haven’t been alone since I was so exposed to you.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I should have stayed with you last night when you asked me to come home with you.”

“No! It’s okay, we both had to get up early. I’m being dumb and needy.” She shakes her head.

“You’re not being either of those things. We can wait a while to do something like that again if you want.”

“No! I don’t want to wait. I really liked it. I guess, I mean…”

“Are you worried that you’re not the only one?”

“Maybe a little…”

“Babe, I’m not talking to anyone else, I thought it was pretty clear. I’m not in a rush to put a label on anything, but I’m not fucking anyone else, I swear.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve only ever fully been with like six people if that makes you feel better.”

“Harry, I really don’t need to know.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m some sex maniac. I had sex in high school, and then there were a couple of girls last year, and then a couple people this past summer. If I seem good at it, it’s only because I’m vocal and I ask to make sure things feel good, that’s all.”

“Alright, I’m sorry for being so stupid. I ruined the entire night.”

“You’re not stupid, and you didn’t ruin anything, okay? I’m gonna go get us some water, feel free to change and then we can just watch TV or something.”

“Oh.”

“What?” He asks as he stands up.

“I just thought, you know, you’d want to take my clothes off for me.”

“I mean, I do, but I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. We both had a lot to drink, Y/N.” He gives her a soft smile and leaves to go downstairs.

She sighs heavily and then changes into the pj’s she brought. He comes back and hands her a glass. He starts unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way.

“I really like what you have on tonight.”

“Yeah? I liked your outfit too. Although, you look pretty cute right now.” He smirks and drags his jeans down his legs and gets onto the bed with a sigh. 

“Oh, do I?”

“Mhm, very cute.” His eyes trail down her body and they grow wide when they get to her legs. “What happened here?” He points to the various bruises on her thighs and shins.

“Oh, it’s just from going to the gym and games and stuff. I always have bruises on me.” She shrugs. “No big deal.”

“Poor thing.” He rubs his hand over one of her thighs.

“It’s really not a big deal.” Goosebumps raise on her skin from his gentle touch. She lays down fully next to him, rolling onto her side to face him. “I like you.”

“I like you too.”

She nuzzles into his chest and he rubs her back. They stay like that for a while, and she starts to hear her breathing level out. He carefully gets up to turn his light off, and goes back to the way he was.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up pressed into Harry’s side. He was out like a light. She gets up and grabs her toothbrush and pads out to the bathroom. She gets in and locks the door behind her. She splashes some cool water onto her face, and brushes her teeth. She tip toes back to Harry’s room, and crawls back into bed.

“Where’d you go.” He mumbles as he moves to spoon her.

“Just to the bathroom.” She whispers.

He nuzzles into her back, pressing his pelvis to her ass. He pushes a leg between hers to get especially cozy. She adjusts against him, and things sort of just sped up from there. He started moving against her and the second she whimpered, he was dipping his hand into her shorts.

“Is this okay?” He asks, kissing on the exposed part of her neck.

“Yes.” She breathes.

His fingers rub on her clit at first before going between her folds. He groans when he feels how wet she is. He drags it up to her clit to rub circles on her. She turns over onto her stomach and he follows her, continuing to grind himself against her ass, and rubbing on her clit.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

Hearing him moan her name was doing things to her. She moves her hips along with his, and she starts to feel warm all over. She was moaning into his pillows, and he feels her writhe under him while she comes. He takes his hand away once she’s done, and she rolls onto her back.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…give you a hand job?”

“You really want to?���

“Yeah, I really do.” She bites her bottom lip and he moves to lay next to her.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes.”

He starts to lower his boxers and he looks at her again. She nods and he gets them of all the way. Her eyes widen. He really was big, and thick too. She sort of knew what to do. She had seen enough porn to know she at least needed to make sure her hand was wet, so she spits into it, and carefully grips him. He hisses from her touch.

“Wanna know what I like?” He asks her.

“Yeah.”

“While you do it, put these fingers over my tip.” He moves her fingers he wants them and then she moves them back and forth while her hand works around him. “Shit, just like that, it’s perfect.”

Y/N can’t help but look at Harry’s perfectly sculpted happy trail that leads down to the small tufts of hair right at his base. His balls weren’t hairy, he clearly did a lot of manscaping. In a bold move she uses her other hand to cup his balls, and his head rolls back into the pillow.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, just, like, massage them a little, but not too hard.”

She nods and gives him gentle squeezes while her hand continues to work on him. This wasn’t so bad. She wasn’t sure what she was so nervous about, it was just a penis. She licks her lips and looks at him.

“Can I…put my mouth on it?”

“Fuck, yeah, please.” He grips the sheets as she wraps her lips around his tip. “Just no teeth!” He reminds her at the last second and she pops off.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Unhinge my jaw?”

“No.” He chuckles. “Just try to keep your lips around your teeth or keep your mouth wide. Use your tongue more than anything.”

She nods and goes back down. He has to fight to buck up into her. She only keeps her mouth around his tip, not wanting to go crazy. She pumps the rest of him, drool dripping down her chin.

“Y/N, I’m getting close.”

She keeps sucking on him. When she looks up at him, making eye contact, he loses it. She spurts into her mouth and her eyes widen at the taste. It didn’t taste bad, but it certainly didn’t taste good either. She takes it all, but she sure as shit wasn’t going to swallow. She looks around his room for his trash and when she spots it, she gets off the bed and spits into it. She grabs the glass of water from his desk and swishes it around her mouth before spitting again.

“Sorry.” She breathes. “I just-“

“You’re apologizing? Get your ass over here.” He smirks. She gets back onto the bed and he holds her close. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to swallow it unless you really wanted to. I know it’s a lot to get used to.”

“So, you’re not offended?”

“You just gave me a blow job, I’m not offended at all.” He kisses her forehead. “I’m just gonna go use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” He grabs his boxers and slips them on and leaves the room.

Y/N snatches her phone and texts in the group chat letting Amanda and Gina know what just happened. She couldn’t wait to get home, she needed to talk about it now. When Harry gets back she nearly throws her phone. She puts her phone down gently and cuddles up to him when he lays back down. He kisses on the top of her head a couple of times and rubs her back.

“That felt really good, by the way.”

“You’re not just saying that?” She pouts up at him.

“Not at all, I’ve been dreaming about you doing that. It was nice to feel the real thing.” His lips curve up as he looks down at her. “You’re a natural, sure you’ve never done that before.”

“Never, I swear.” She giggles. “I’m glad it was good for you.”

“It was fantastic.” He sighs.

After snuggling a little longer, they both decide to get up. Harry makes Y/N some eggs and toast for breakfast before walking her home. They get to her door and he has trouble saying goodbye. His lips just won’t leave hers.

“You have practice today?”

“Mhm, and then an away game tomorrow. We leave early in the morning. I’ll text you when I get home, maybe we can meet up.”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “So I won’t see you at all tonight?”

“No, we’re not allowed to go out the night before an away game.”

“Fair enough.” He sighs. “Alright.” He kisses her against, sucking on her bottom lip before letting her go. “Can’t wait to hear how the game goes.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

She goes inside and runs upstairs. She knocks on Amanda’s door before going in and they both squeal. Gina comes in and squeals with them. 

//

It was a rough game. They lost by one goal. The bus was quiet at first, but the coach ended up farting and it made everyone laugh, lightening the mood. They wouldn’t be going out to celebrate tonight, but Y/N knew a few of the girls would be getting together. She was pooped and didn’t feel like drinking. She was sitting in the window seat on the coach bus next to Gina, who was turned talking to one of the other girls, so she takes the opportunity to call Harry. Now that she thinks about it, they’ve never spoken on the phone before. She puts her headphones in and dials his number.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey! How was the game, babe?”

“We lost…by one goal.” She sighs.

“I’m sorry, that must not feel great. I watched the live stream, but I was only able to catch the beginning.”

“You…you actually watched part of it?”

“Yeah! I wanted to support you. I had to tutor this afternoon so that’s why I wasn’t able to watch the whole thing.”

“Well, thanks for watching a little…”

“Of course, babe.”

“Um, we should be back to campus in an hour. I need to shower and stuff, and I don’t really feel like going out, but would you wanna come over and cuddle?”

“I’d love to. I’ll bring my laptop so we can watch Disney movies.”

“That sounds amazing. I’ll text you once I’m all set.”

“Sounds good, see you soon.”

Y/N hangs up and taps Gina on the shoulder. She tells her that Harry’s gonna come over and she nods excitedly. She takes the second shower once Amanda is done, and then puts on a pair of comfy sweat pants and throws on a t-shirt. Harry comes over, and she takes him right up to her room.

“What are your roommates up to tonight?”

“Not sure, they’re probably just hanging out too.” They both get onto her bed. “Sorry there’s not as much room as your bed.”

“Are you kidding, this is going to be a great cuddle.”

He sits up against the wall, and has her sit in front of him, placing the laptop at the foot of the bed. They decide on The Goofy Movie. Although, Harry is being very distracting. He rubs Y/N’s shoulders and neck, and then his arms wrap around her waist. He gets up under her shirt, one hand kneading one of her breasts, and the other dips into her sweatpants. He starts kissing on her neck and her head rolls back to his shoulder. She bites her bottom lip as his fingers get inside her underwear and start rubbing at her clit. His middle finger slips inside her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He nips at her earlobe.

“Mhm, don’t stop.” She bites her bottom lip. They’ve both forgotten about the movie, almost thankful it’s just background noise to help muffle things. “M’getting too hot, Harry.” She whines.

He nearly rips her shirt off, exposing her full chest to him. She gets up and wiggles out of her sweatpants. He gets his own shirt off, and then she straddles him. She kisses down his neck and sucks where she pleases.

“I did some thinking last night while you were gone.” He says between pants.

“Oh yeah?” She rolls her hips down on him.

“Yeah.” He grips her hips and moves his up to meet hers. “If I’m only seeing you, and you’re only seeing me, then I think I should just cut the crap and ask you to be my girlfriend, don’t you think?”

“You…I thought the labels-“

“I was being stupid about that. I wanna be your boyfriend, Y/N. Can’t risk anyone else scooping you up. I need you to be mine.”

“I’m already yours.”

“Like, officially though.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my boyfriend too.”

He grabs his phone out of his pocket and goes to change his Facebook status when he realizes something.

“We’re not even friends on here…”

“We’re not?! Could have sworn that happened when you started tutoring me.”

“No, I guess not. Think that was just insta.” He sends her a friend request, and she accepts, and then they both change their statuses. “There, now there’s no question about it.” They both set their phones on the floor, and get back to it.

Their tongues slide against each other as he gropes various parts of her body. Things were getting hot and heavy fast.

“Want you, please.” She whimpers against him.

“What?”

“Please, Harry, fuck me.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m ready, I swear. We’re both sober, I want this. Please, Harry, please fuck me, don’t make me beg.” She pouts. “Fuck, I don’t have any condoms.”

“I…have some in my backpack.” He blushes. “I just keep them in there, I didn’t think anything was going to happen tonight.”

“Well, I’m glad you have some. Do you wanna do this?”

“I do, but only if you’re really sure.”

“I am.” She smiles and he nods. She gets off of him and lies down on the bed while he searches through his backpack.

“Do you want me to finger you some more?”

“No, I really just want your dick.” She slides her underwear down her legs and tosses them to the floor.

His mouth was watering. He strips himself of the rest of his clothes and snatches a condom. He makes sure her door is locked, and closes his laptop before getting on top of her. He opens the foil packet, and rolls the rubber down his length.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes, Harry, I swear.”

“I’ll stop at any second, okay? You just need to speak up.”

“Okay.”

She spreads her legs apart for him, and he leans down to kiss her. He rubs his tip against her clit and through her folds, making sure she’s wet. He starts to push inside her, and all she feels is pressure and stretching. It sort of burned a bit as he did it. She takes a deep breath and digs her nails into his shoulders.

“Almost all the way in, can you take it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can take it.”

He groans once he’s all the way in. He was so fucking snug inside her, it was a miracle he didn’t nut right then and there.

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.” She had a couple of tears in her eyes.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t hurt?”

“It hurts a little, but not enough that I want to stop. I’m just getting used to you. Try moving.”

“Okay.”

He slowly rocks in and out, watching her face to make sure she wasn’t in too much pain. It was crazy, it was a like a switch went off because as soon as he got going with a good pace, it started to feel good. Even the stretching, she liked how it all felt. One of his hands kneads her breast and tweaks her nipple and his lips attach to her neck.

“Okay, babe?” He says into her ear.

“So good, Harry.” She wraps her legs around his back and digs her heels into his ass.

He couldn’t do much with her tonight, he knew that. He couldn’t fuck her from behind or even let her on top, but he could make her feel amazing. He snakes a hand between them and rubs her clit.

“Oh!” She gasps.

“Like that, baby girl?”

“Yes, oh my god, yes, Harry.” She arches up into him. She’s breathing heavily and scratching at his back. She almost felt like she needed to pee, but she knew it was just her orgasm getting ready to wash over her. “Shit, oh fuck, shit!” She cries out as she comes around his cock.

He spills into the condom shortly after, not being able to hold on much longer himself. He pulls out of her slowly, not wanting to hurt her and she winces.

“I know, baby, I know.” He feels terrible, he knew she had to feel sore. He gets up and throws the condom out in her trash and gets back over to her quickly, caressing her cheeks, applying kisses all over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and practically melts at his tenderness. “I really need to pee.” She chuckles.

“Alright, let’s getcha to the bathroom then.”

“I can go on my own. Just need a shirt.”

“Take mine.” He grabs it off the floor and hands it to her. He slips his own boxers back on, and helps her stand up.

He watches her waddle out of the room. She winces as she uses the toilet, and she grimaces at the toilet paper when she sees a light pink color. He was so careful with her, extremely gentle, but she was still a virgin at the end of the day. Well, not anymore. She just gave something major to Harry. She waddles back to her room, and smiles when she sees him still half naked, waiting in her bed.

“Do you want the side with the wall, or-“

She practically jumps on top of him, and she attacks him with kisses. They both giggle and then she settles to lay on top of him for a bit. He rubs her back and soothes her as best he can. He gets up to use the bathroom, and when he comes back they decide to finish their movie and spoon before falling asleep.

//

Harry held Y/N all night. She felt extremely safe in his arms, and it was exactly what she needed after doing something so big for her. She adjusts against him, and he gives her kisses on the back of her neck and she smiles. She turns over and buries her face in his chest. He strokes her back and kisses the top of her head. He was being careful with her, knowing that she would need some extra reassurance.

“How are you feeling?” He finally asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

“I’m okay.” She mumbles. “A little sore, but I’ll be alright.”

“I tried not to be too rough with you, I’m sorry.”

She looks up at him and smiles.

“You weren’t rough at all…I probably should have let you finger me a little more beforehand. I just really wanted you.”

“Can’t blame you for that.” He smirks and she swats a hand at his chest. “Kidding.”

“Mhm, sure you were.”

“Do you have plans today?”

“Just homework and stuff. I’m dreading our practice tomorrow morning, the coach is gonna ride us for losing.” She sighs.

“It was your first loss, right?”

“Yeah, so it’s not terrible, but it could easily be the start to a losing streak, so we need to prevent that.” They both shift so Harry’s on his back, and she’s got her head on his chest. “Why? Did you want to do something?”

“Well, I was thinking I could go back to my place and shower, and then I could come back here to do homework or something…we could get brunch at the dining hall.”

“God, I love brunch at dhall. Could I invite Amanda and Gina? They’ll be jealous.”

“Sure! I don’t care.” He kisses her forehead and gets up. She watches him stretch, and he gets his clothes on. “Wanna just meet over there in, like, an hour?”

“Works for me.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.” He leans down and pecks her lips before slipping out.

Just as she’s getting out of bed, and putting some shorts on, Gina and Amanda burst into her room.

“You guys wanna come to the dining hall with us in a bit?” Y/N asks with a smug look on her face.

“Yes, but we have more important things to discuss.” Amanda says. “What the hell happened in here last night?”

“Oh god, did you guys hear anything?”

“Only a little.” Gina says. “I just put headphones in.”

“Okay, so this is going to sound like he and I have bene moving fast, well, I guess we have been, but…we had sex last night.”

“Like full on?!” Amanda asks. The three sit on the bed together.

“Yeah, he was like rubbing up on me and stuff, and we were making out, and I told him I wanted to. He was so sweet, he kept asking me if I was sure and everything.”

“Did you make sure to pee after?” Gina asks.

“Yeah…and I think I bled a little…I’m a little sore. He was so sweet on me, though, like he took it really slow.”

“Did it hurt while he was doing it?” Amanda asks.

“A little in the begging, like when he first put it in, and then all of a sudden it started to feel really good. I think he was hitting my g-spot or something. He rubbed my clit too, I didn’t know an orgasm could feel so good.” She blushes. Her and the girls have had plenty of these conversations, so it wasn’t that weird to be so open, but just thinking about the previous events was making her feel an ache between her legs.

“Good for you! And he asked to go to the dining hall with you?” Gina asks.

“Yeah, he asked me if I had plans today. He held me all night too. We, like, made things official last night…on Facebook…”

“Oh shit!” The girls say and both take their phones out. They like the status update.

“I’m gonna go shower quick, and then we can get ready to go?” Y/N asks.

“Definitely.” Amanda says.

They both watch Y/N stand up. She breathes funny for a second and then she sneezes.

“Ow! Oh my god!” She grabs at her lower stomach.

“What happened?” Gina asks, concerned.

“Felt like my vagina was gonna fall out.” Y/N says and they all start laughing. “Fuck, this is going to be a long day…”

//

Harry really liked Y/N’s friends. They were chill, but blunt. He knew Y/N must have filled them in on the night prior, but he didn’t mind. He knew the first time was a big deal for anyone, his certainly was, even if it was when he was seventeen.

“Harry, you’re on senate right?” Gina asks.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Why?”

“Is it true you guys have these really long meetings on Sunday nights?”

“Mhm.” He sighs. “We meet up at five, and we all have to be dressed up because sometimes different staff and faculty come to the meetings, so we need to look professional. I’ve been there as late as 10PM sometimes. Certain motions take forever to get through, it’s annoying. The only perk is that we get food provided.”

“And that’s why you get a lot of your homework done on Saturdays, right?” Y/N says.

“That’s right.” He smiles at her.

“How come you wanted to on senate and not join a normal club?” Amanda asks.

“I wanted to be involved with how things are done on campus.” Harry shrugs. “I was on student senate in high school, so I wanted to continue with it here.”

“What made you want to study at an American university? Aren’t schools way less expensive where you’re from?” Gina asks.

“They can be. I just thought this would be a good time for me to get away and travel. It makes me appreciate home more when I go back.”

“Makes sense.” Gina says. “I’m actually from Florida, and only came up here to play hockey.”

“Same here, I’m from California.” Amanda tells him.

“I think I’m one of the few in-state students on our team.” Y/N says.

“That’s cool though that this school has such a good hockey program that you wanted to come here.”

After lunch, Harry comes back to Y/N’s apartment, and they all hang out to do homework in the living room. When 4PM hits he explains he needs to go home so he can get ready for senate.

“Thanks for hanging out today, it was nice.” Y/N says as they stand in the doorway.

“Yeah, it was.” He puts his thumb and forefinger on her chin to tilt her chin up. He leans down and gives her a nice, slow kiss. “When do I see you next?”

“I don’t know…Tuesday for tutoring?”

“Works for me.”

“I mean, I’m sure we’ll talk before then.”

“Most likely.” He grins.

“Okay, well, have a god senate meeting.”

“Thanks.” He gives her another kiss before heading out.

“He’s, like, dreamy.” She says to the girls when she walks back into the living room. “I think I’ll keep him around.” She giggles with them.

//

Harry was just finishing getting his tie on for the senate meeting, and he thinks to send Y/N a mirror selfie so she could see what he has to wear. He puts a pout on his face and puts a caption on it asking her to just kill him. Joking, of course.

When she gets the DM, she bites her bottom lip. She thought he looked really good. So she told him that, well she told him he looked really sexy, and that was just about all he needed to stay distracted for his entire meeting.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your vote on giving Awesome Weekends more funding?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, I just think if we do this we need to see some return on investment. I want to make sure that students actually go to the events they put on. The money should go towards more advertising and stuff like that. I mean, but just word of mouth we were able to get more people at sporting events. The events Awesome Weekends put on aren’t exactly always awesome.”

“They’ve proposed more free skate nights.” Billy says. “Off-setting the cost of rentals. That’s why a lot of students don’t go to that normally. They’re also working on more movie nights, and late night dining.”

“Alright, I vote yes then, but it needs to be a trial basis. We need to see how it works. If they want the same amount of money next year then they can say why they deserve it in allocations this spring like everyone else.”

“I agree with Harry.” Ari says. “I say we boost it now, but let it be clear that if they want more next year, they’ll have to ask for it during allocations like everyone else.”

“Thanks.” He whispers to her.

“No problem.” She smiles.

“Alright, let’s take a fifteen minute break.” The senior class president says.

“You’re a little distracted tonight, are you alright?” Ari asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, taking out his phone. Y/N had sent him a selfie of her own, snuggled up in bed, and he smiles at it. “These meetings just go on forever sometimes. My girlfriend’s already in bed for Christ’s sake.”

“It’s only 9:30…wait, did you just say girlfriend?”

“Yeah, made it official with her last night.” He smiles dreamily.

“The girl from the hockey team?!”

“Um, yeah…why?”

“I…well, no offense, but she just seems sort of frumpy for you, Harry.”

“Frumpy? That’s sort of rude, Ari.” He frowns. “I think she’s really pretty.”

“I just meant, like, she’s always wearing sweats and stuff.”

“A lot of people on teams do that. What do you care how she dresses anyways?” 

“I just think people should care more about how they look before they leave for the day.”

“You’ve never seen her dressed up for a party then, because-“ He cuts himself off. “You know what, I don’t need to do this. I like her, she’s my girlfriend, and that’s it. As my friend, I hope you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m ecstatic.” She huffs and gets up to grab some more water.

“I don’t like her attitude at all.” Harry says to Andrew.

“Dude…she has a thing for you, and you just rubbed a new relationship in her face. I was sort of hoping she’d stop liking you when you brought Y/N over for that movie night, but I guess not.”

“She what?!” He whisper screams. “Why didn’t she say anything?”

“Probably because she knew you didn’t like her back. She’s had a thing for you since last year.”

“Shit, I feel terrible.” He looks over at Ari and then back to Andrew. “Should I talk to her?”

“No, she’d probably just be embarrassed. You said you’re official with Y/N now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then she just need to accept it. She’ll move on now that she knows she really doesn’t have a chance.”

“Ari’s really nice, and pretty in her own right, I just like sportier girls, I always have.”

“Hey, I think Y/N’s hot, so you don’t have to explain it to me.” He smirks.

“Don’t ever say that to me again…but thanks.”

It was nearly 10:30 by the time Harry got back to his apartment. He goes straight to his room and flops onto his bed. He groans and then changes out of his nice clothes, and goes to do his nightly routine in the bathroom. He gets settled in bed, and takes his phone out.

Harry: goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams <3

Y/N gets the text and nearly squeals. Harry was so sweet.

Y/N: night! <3

//

Y/N groans when her alarm goes off at 6AM. Sometimes she really hated having early ice times, but nonetheless she gets up and puts her warm ups on. She grabs her phone and decided to be a little cute.

Y/N: morning, Harry! Hope you have a great day :)

She gets her gym bag together, and meets Amanda and Gina downstairs. They each grab a granola bar, and head out the door.

Harry wakes up at 6:15 to get ready to go to the gym. His heart skips a beat when he sees Y/N’s good morning text, and the smile on his face grows wider as he rereads it.

Harry: morning, love, hope coach doesn’t go too hard on you

He looks outside and sees that it’s pretty nice out, and decides to just go for a run. Harry liked getting his workout over with in the mornings. It gave him a lot of energy for the day, and once it was done, it was done.

Coach had the girls sprint across the ice way too many times, and then he had them work on their slap shots. They scrimmaged until they couldn’t scrimmage anymore. He said that they better get it together for their next away game Wednesday. They needed to be able to win on the road, not just at home.

Y/N was drenched in sweat, as were the other girls. She peels her padding off and the rest of her clothes, and hops into the shower. She needed to look nice for one of her business classes today, so she puts on a pair of tan nylons to cover her legs. It was getting colder, but it wasn’t quite black-tights seasons yet. Then she puts on a green short-sleeve blouse, and pairs it with a black pencil skirt that comes to right above her knees. This was her “fancy” skirt for presentations. She straightens her hair and puts some makeup on, and then slips in her black flats. Amanda and Gina were dressed up too.

“We better get points for looking so nice, or I’ll kill this professor.” Gina says.

“Right? Like, there has to be style points.” Y/N says.

“Let’s just get up to campus and get this over with.” Amanda says. “A presentation at 8:15, who the fuck thought that was a good idea?”

The girls crushed their presentation, of course, but Y/N didn’t have time between her other classes to change, so she just toughs it out. She figures after lunch she can run home quickly to change into her workout clothes.

Andrew and Ari were in line at the dining hall, waiting to get sandwiches when they see Y/N walk by with some of the other hockey girls.

“What were you saying about her being frumpy?” Andrew says to her, nudging her arm.

“Stop it.” She groans. “I’m embarrassed enough for how I acted last night. I’m lucky Harry’s even sitting next to me.”

Y/N accidentally bumps into someone while she’s getting herself a glass of water.

“I’m so sorry, I…oh, hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Y/N, hi.” He blushes when he looks her up and down. “You look, um, nice.”

“Thanks, I had this stupid presentation for my marketing class this morning, and I haven’t had a chance to change yet. Hoping to after lunch.” They both walk into the dining area together. “I have like an hour before my next class so I’m gonna eat quick and head back.”

“Do you…want some help changing out of all that?” He asks, stepping close so no one hears him.

“Um…”

“I’m sitting right over there, come grab me when you’re done eating, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He smiles and kisses her cheek before walking away. Y/N goes over to sit down with her friends, face completely flushed.

“Are you alright?” Ashley asks.

“Yeah, um, I think I just made a dick appointment, so I can’t stay long.”

“Oh my god!” Ashley squeals. “Damn, with Harry?”

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles. “I told him I was going to change after lunch and he just asked me if I needed help.”

“Oh, shit!” Amanda laughs. “What a fuckboy thing to say, but damn, I don’t think I’d say no either.”

“He’s, like, way more smooth than I ever would have thought.”

Y/N only eats about half of her lunch out of nerves, and then says goodbye to everyone. She walks over to Harry’s table, and clears her throat. He looks over at her and smiles, getting up with his empty dishes. He says goodbye to his friends and walks out with Y/N. They put their dishes away, and then he grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“This is okay, right? I’m not being too pushy?”

“No, I…I want you to come over.”

“Okay.” He smiles and they both walk a little faster to the student apartments.

Y/N nervously keys inside and they both run up to her room. She slams it closed and locks it, and the next thing she knows she’s being pinned up against it. Harry presses his front to hers, and groans into their kiss.

“Is this okay?” He breathes before moving to suck on her neck.

“Yes.” Her hands move to undo his pants. “Is this?”

“Yes.” He steps back to take his shirt off and wiggle out of his pants.

He grabs her and his hands slide to her ass to unzip the back of her skirt. It falls to the ground, pooling at her feet. He lifts her shirt overhead, and quickly unhooks her bra.

“Christ, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He leads her over to her bed, and lays her down. His fingers hook into her panties and he slides them down her legs. He licks his lips when he’s presented with her center. “You don’t mind if I have a little dessert, do you?”

“Please, indulge.” She leans up on her elbows to watch as he dives right in. “Oh, fuck.” Her head rolls back, and her hands rake through his hair.

He licks her up and down and moves his face from side to side. He sucks on her clit, and slides his middle finger inside her. She winces for a moment, and he pops off her to look at her.

“Are you still sore?”

“Um…only a little…but I really want you to keep going.”

“I don’t wanna do it if it’s gonna hurt.”

“Please, Harry? I really want you to fuck me again.”

“I just wish I had some lube or something to help soothe you…we’ll have to buy some.” He says more so to himself than to her before licking over her clit again. He does the next best thing, and just wells up some spit and lets it fall from his tongue to her center. She whimpers and he looks up at her. “Like that?”

“Yeah…it was sort of sexy…”

He does it again and then slides his middle finger back inside her. He’s able to get a second finger in, and he curls them both up against that spongey spot of her front wall. He uses his other thumb to rub around her clit. He looks up at her and can’t help but smirk when he sees her head rolled back into the pillow.

“Can tell you’re close, love, you gonna come for me?”

“Shit, oh my god, yes!” She cries out. His words put her over the edge and she comes around his fingers. He goes over to his backpack to grab a condom, and takes his boxers off so he can roll it on. He gets back on the bed between her legs.

 “You know, I never asked, are you on the pill or anything? I don’t mind using condoms, I’m just curious.”

“Yeah, I’m on the pill.” She puts her hands on his shoulders and smiles.

He hums his response and lines himself up with her. He starts to push inside, but he stops.

“Why’d you stop?” She pouts.

“Just wanted to make sure you still wanted to.”

“I do! Please, just keep going.”

He nods and slowly pushes inside her. He grunts once he’s all the way in, and stays there a moment before pulling out and pushing back in. Her mouth falls open from the pleasure.

“That feels really good.” She says, pressing kisses to chest.

“Yeah? Like it like this, babe?”

“Mhm.”

He continues to carefully thrust in and out of her. She bites her bottom lip, and decides to let him know how she’s feeling.

“Could we…could I…um…”

“What is it, baby? Tell me what you want.”

“What if I got on top?”

“You sure you wanna try that now? When’s your class?”

She looks off to her clock.

“I’ve got thirty minutes, plenty of time.”

“Alright.” He pulls out and switches spots with her. He sits up against the wall and waits for her. She gives him a funny look. “What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to lay down?”

“Not necessarily, I wanna help you, just come here.”

She crawls into his lap, and lines herself up with him. They both look down as she slowly sinks down on him. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment to get used to it. He helps her wraps her legs around his waist, and his hands grip her ass. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and he slowly thrusts up into her. Her eyes snap open when she feels how deep he’s able to go.

“Oh my god.” She looks at him. “Do that again.”

He slots his lips over hers and gets a rhythm going. She does her best to move along with him, but she doesn’t mind that he’s doing a lot of the work. She sucks his bottom between her teeth before moving to nibble on his earlobe.

“Harry.” She whines.

“Feels good?”

“Feels so good.” She bites down right on the crook of his neck and he groans.

His hands grip harder on her ass he moves her a little faster. Her clit was rubbing against him in the most perfect way, and she could feel another release approaching. She grips at his hair and tugs hard as she cries out into his chest. He spills into the condom as she comes down from her high. They both take a minute to sit there. He holds her close to him and rubs her back. He kisses her temple and then moves to her now puffy lips. He gives her a soft smile when he sees her mascara had run a bit. He uses his thumbs to help clean up under eyes, and it makes her giggle.

“I’ll just use a makeup wipe.” She pecks at his lips and slowly gets off him. “Blegh, I don’t like the way that feels at all.”

“It’s cause you’re so sensitive, babe.” He gets up and rids himself of the condom, putting his boxers and other clothes back on. He watches as she grabs a towel to wrap around herself.

“Mm, right, I forgot you were a sexologist.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m just gonna pee, I’ll be right back.”

She’s back in a couple minutes and he watches her rifle through her workout clothes. She settles on a pair of cropped leggings, a sports bra, and a t-shirt. She flips her hair over and puts it up in a messy bun, and then grabs a makeup up wipe to get everything off. She sits down next to him to lace up her sneakers.

“I’m not a sexologist.” He mumbles.

“I know, I was being sarcastic.” She smirks.

“I’m aware.” He sits back on her bed and she looks at him. “I did take a women’s health class last year, though, and we talked about things that can happen after sex, so that’s the only reason why I know that.”

“Why in the fuck did you take a women’s health class, Harry?” She nearly laughs.

“I don’t know, my mum said it would be a good idea…and it counted towards one of my gen eds. I actually learned a lot. You ladies, uh, have a lot to deal with.”

“Were there other boys in the class?”

“A couple. I mostly kept to myself, I didn’t want anyone thinking I was there just to meet girls or anything.”

“Tell me, what else did you learn?” She was intrigued now.

“Basically everything that goes on with your body from birth to death.”

“Is that how you learned to be so go in bed?” She blushes.

“No, but please, keep inflating my ego.” He grins. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Good, I may refrain from doing squats because my legs feel like jelly, but other than that, no complaints.” She leans back to kiss his cheek. “I have time to get it together during class anyways.” She looks over at her click. “Which I need to get to now.”

She stands up and so does he. He wraps his arms around her from behind and gives a squeeze before letting her go. As she walked to class she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She could definitely get used to having a boyfriend.

//

Things went on like this for a few a weeks. Harry and Y/N would meet up when they could for homework dates, keeping their actual tutoring sessions at the library so no funny business would happen. When they were alone, it was on just about every time. He tried to livestream her away games, and he was at every single one of her home games. When she gave him one of her jerseys from the previous year to wear, he tackled her and showered her with kisses. He wears it to all her home games now.

“You don’t have a game Saturday night, right?” He asks her one evening while doing homework.

“Nope, just during the afternoon, why?”

“There’s going to be free skate Saturday night, would you wanna go? I sort of have to be there for senate. I’ll understand if you won’t feel like it.”

“No! That sounds like fun. I never get to skate just for the hell of it. What time does it start? My, um, mom is coming to the game Saturday and she’s going to want to get dinner afterwards.”

“It starts at eight, and you’re mum’s coming?”

“Mhm.”

“Will I get to meet her?”

“Do you want to?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“I think I should, you’re my girlfriend after all. Does she know about me?”

“Of course she does! I told her a week or so after we made things official. She’s going to sit in the parent’s section most likely…”

“I don’t mind not sitting with the usual people I go with. It would give me some time to chat with her if I sit with her. I wanna make a good impression.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles.

“Your siblings aren’t coming?”

“Nah, they’ll hang back to watch the bar.”

“Cool, well, I’m excited. What have you told her about me?”

“I told her how smart you are and how we met because you’re tutoring me.” She shuffles his papers and laptop away to crawl into his lap. “And I told her how sweet you are, and how you always walk me home when it’s late, and stuff like that.”

“Oh.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“And I told her about your major, and how you’re on senate, and that you’re an all-around good person. I sent her a picture of you and she agreed that you’re very cute.”

Harry can’t help but smile while he presses his lips to hers.

“The tattoos didn’t throw her off?”

“Not at all.” She scoffs. “My mom is pretty chill for the most part. She just wants me to be happy, and I am, so it’s no skin off her nose.”

“I told my mum about you too, you know. I told about how nice you are and how passionate you are about hockey, and how bright you are.”

“Oh, stop.”

“I mean it! I really admire you, Y/N. It takes a lot of work to balance being a student-athlete.”

“Thanks, Har.” She pecks his lips and nuzzles into his neck.

//

On Saturday, Harry explains to his friends that he’ll be sitting on the parent side of the arena to meet Y/N’s mom. He has the jersey that Y/N gave him on, so he wasn’t hard to find. He feels a tap on his shoulder just as he’s getting some ketchup onto his hotdog. He turns around and looks down to see a woman who sort of looked like Y/N.

“Hi, are you Harry? I could only assume since you’re wearing a jersey with my daughter’s name on it.”

“Yeah! Hi, are you Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Mhm, please, just call me Angie.” She gives Harry a gentle hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Y/N told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Did you want anything from concessions before we go in?”

“Oh, no, I’m all set, but thank you.” She smiles. “I’m so excited, this is the first game I’ve been able to get to all season. I heard you’ve been to every single one.”

“It’s important to support the women’s teams just as much as the men’s.”

“Well, I know how much it means to Y/N, so thank you.”

He follows her into the arena and they sit in a row a few up from the glass. Harry finishes his hotdog and tosses his trash into a nearby bin. Everything goes dark, and lights start flashing. The crowd cheers for both teams as they come onto the ice. Harry cheers and claps for Y/N, and so does her mother.

Y/N assists a goal, and the crowd goes wild. Later on she’s sent to the penalty box for knocking someone over, to which she argued with the ref about, to which Harry had to fight the blood rushing to his dick watching her get fired up. She sits there for the two minutes, and gets back on the ice. Harry chats with Y/N’s mom between periods, and the girls end up winning 3-1. It was a good game.

“I’m glad it’s over, I was really starting to get cold.” She chuckles as they go out to the lobby. “I was planning to take Y/N for a bite to eat once she’s done, would you like to join us?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna impose on your alone time…”

“Don’t be silly! You’re welcome to join, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Thanks, yeah, if she’s cool with it I’d be happy to join.”

Twenty or so minutes go by before Y/N emerges in the lobby. She had some ice wrapped around her shoulder, and a huge smile on her face when she sees her mom.

“Mum!” She runs over to her and they hug.

“Hi, sweetie.” She kisses her cheek. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“Nothing, the trainer just wanted it wrapped up.” She shrugs and goes over to hug Harry.

“Great game.” He says.

“Thanks.” She smiles and kisses his cheek. “Do you wanna join us for dinner?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Perfect, how does Chinese sound?” Her mom asks.

“Works for me.” Y/N says.

“Sounds good.” Harry says.

“Harry, I’ll need to go ready at my place before free skate. Ashley’s having a…get together tonight.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wanna change to.”

They tell each other as they climb into Angie’s car. She laughs to herself and shakes her head at Y/N.

“What?”

“You can just say you’re going to a party. You just won a game, of course you guys are gonna celebrate tonight.” She nudges her.

The three enjoy a nice Chinese buffet. Angie is able to get to know Harry a little more, and Y/N eats it up. Harry knew how to speak with adults since he had to do it often for student senate. He was definitely making a good impression.

“Want to just drop you off at your apartment, honey?”

“That’d be great mom, thanks.”

Angie gets out of the car to give Y/N a big hug and kiss goodbye, and she gives Harry a hug as well. Y/N keys into her apartment, and brings Harry upstairs with her.

“It shouldn’t take me too long, and then we can go to your place.”

“Take your time, we don’t need to be the first people there.” He says, settling to lounge on her bed.

He watches as she picks out a pair of ripped mom jeans and a long sleeve white crop top. She heard him laugh and she turns her head.

“What?”

“What’s the point of that having sleeves if half your stomach isn’t covered?”

“It’s going to be cold on the ice, and hot at Ashley’s. I’m just trying to help myself out for both scenarios.” She takes her hair out of its messy bun and shakes it out. She runs her straightener through it quickly, and then changes. She puts a little makeup on and looks at Harry. “Well?”

“Look good enough to eat, babe.”

“Don’t start.” She giggles. “Let’s go, you take longer than me to change.”

“I do not.” He says with fake offense.

“Yes, you do.” She boops his nose and tugs him out of her room.

“We’re going to free skate tonight, and then we’ll come to Ashley’s.” She says to Amanda, peeping her head into her room.

“Okay, we’ll see you later, have fun!”

Y/N and Harry make their way to his apartment, and head up to his room. He puts his contacts in, and peels his jersey and undershirt off. He finds a short-sleeve button up in his closet and throws that on with some jeans. He finds a jacket to wear over it and puts his beanie back on.

“Alright, ready?”

“Mhm.”

They make their way to the ice arena and get their skates. There was a small line which Harry was happy to see. He watches as Y/N nimbly laces up her skates, and she looks at him.

“Do you want some help with those?” She asks.

“Would you mind? I feel like I can never get them tight enough.”

“The trick is tug them down here first.” She kneels in front of him and it makes him blush to see her basically on her knees before him. “See? Feel the difference?” She looks up at him innocently.

“Um, yeah.” He swallows and she ties up his other skate. “Thanks.”

“No worries.”

She helps him up and they make their way onto the ice. There was a good amount of people skating, and there was music playing. Harry looks over to see his friends from senate.

“Hold my hand?” He asks and she giggles, taking it without question. They both gently glide their way over. “Nice turn out, huh?” He says to Andrew and Billy.

“Yeah! Awesome Weekends really pulled it together.” Billy says.

“I think the free cocoa and popcorn was nice a touch.” Andrew points over to small station off to the side of the arena. “Hi, Y/N, that was a great game earlier.”

“Oh! Thanks.” She smiles.

“I thought your penalty was bullshit, that girl nudged you first.” Billy says.

“That’s what I said! This is why they should just let us fight each other, it’s so annoying.”

“Where’s Ari?” Harry asks, looking around.

“Ah! She’s here with Scott Paxton.” Andrew points to the other end of the rink. “My jaw dropped when I saw her walk in with him.”

“Oh good, I’m glad she’s got a date.” Harry says relieved.

“Well, are we going to stand around, or are we skating?” Y/N asks.

“Aren’t you tired?” Billy asks.

“Not at all! I never get to just fuck around on the ice.”

She starts skating backwards to the beat of the song that’s playing, and Harry glides towards her, taking her hands in his.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Skate backwards.”

“Oh! It’s easy!” She frees her hands from him and skates around him so she’s behind him, hands on his hips. “It’s just like skating forwards, only backwards.”

“You’d be a horrible tutor, Y/N.” Harry chuckles.

“Shut up! You’ll see what I’m saying, just move with me, I’ve got you.”

He looks over his shoulder so he can see what they’re doing, and he watches as she moves her legs and he tries to do the same.

“See! You’re getting the hang of it.”

“Just don’t let go.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Y/N ends up skating around a bit while Harry talks with some of the student senate people towards the end of the event, but all in all they had a great time together. She helps him get his skates off, and he sighs with relief.

“I don’t know how you wear these all the time.” He says he gets his boots back on.

“You just get used to it.” She shrugs and stands up. “Ready to go have some more fun?”

“Mhm.” He takes her hand as they walk out of the arena, and towards Ashley’s apartment. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! It was great.”

“It was like being on a little date, huh?”

“Mhm.” She smiles up at him. “You looked cute skating.”

“Did I? Thought I looked like an idiot.”

“Oh stop, you’re decent enough for someone who doesn’t skate every day of their life.”

“Last year I took one of those one credit courses so I could take a skating lesson. That’s the only reason I didn’t fall flat on my ass.” This makes Y/N laugh and loop her arm through Harry’s to keep him close. “I liked the way you hung onto me to show me some stuff.”

“See, I ended up being a pretty decent teacher after all. Our methods are just different.”

They get to Ashley’s and head right in. She tells them they can leave their jackets in the hall closet if they want, and then head into the kitchen. Y/N was allowed to have whatever alcohol she wanted, and by proxy, so could Harry. He makes them up some vodka cranberries, and they both head downstairs to join a game of beer pong.

Y/N goes off to hang out with her friends, and Harry does the same, knowing a few people at the house. She does some shots with them and makes her way back over to Harry, tugging him away to come dance with her. She grinds her ass against his pelvis, and his hands press into her hips. She loved that Harry wasn’t one of those guys that was too scared to dance. It made going to parties with him so much more fun. After a couple of songs, she can feel how incredibly hard he is against her.

“Yours or mine tonight?” He asks as he nips at her neck. Her arm hooks up around him so she can tug at his hair. Her head falls back to his shoulder.

“Yours, want the bigger bed.”

“Yeah? Wanna have a little more room, babe?”

“Mhm.” She nearly whines.

“You ‘bout ready to go?”

“Yeah, take me home, baby.” She pouts at him.

He lets her walk in front of him to hide his boner as they grab their jackets. He gives her a piggy-back ride back to his place, and he gets her inside, up the stairs, and into his room. They both kick off their shoes, and once their jackets are off, she’s on him. Her tongue licks its way into his mouth and he happily sucks on it, loving the way he could taste the cranberry juice from her mixer.

Her hands slide down his torso, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, and then she tugs at his belt. His hands grope her ass and then her breasts before pulling her shirt off. He places needy kisses down her chest before getting her bra off, and tackling her onto the bed. She giggles as she gets a little more comfortable.

“Want me to suck on it first, Harry?”

“Please.” He flops next to her and she straddles him. She kisses down his chest and undoes his pants. She tugs his hard cock out and puts her mouth right on him.

He bucks his hips up slightly as she pumps what she can’t fit. She tugs his pants and boxers down further so she can grip onto his thighs. His hands rake through her hair to keep it back for her.

“So fucking good, Y/N.” He bites his bottom lip as he watches her bob her head up and down. She moans around him as a response, and he nearly loses it. “I’m gonna come if you keep doing that, and I’d like to fuck you, so.” He pulls her head off him, and his mouth falls open when he sees the string of spit between his tip and her bottom lip. “Christ.” He yanks her up to him and crashes their mouths together.

He bites and sucks on her bottom lip, and she rolls her hips down on him. He winces, not liking the way her jeans feel against his bare dick. He gets her on her back to get her pants off. Once they’re both naked, he hovers over her so he can kiss her lips again, sliding his fingers between her folds. She gasps when she feels two fingers slide inside her. He twists and curls them and it has her moving her hips along the same way. He watches her face and love the way she makes eye contact with him.

“You like that, babe?” He asks.

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.” She pleads with him as if he would ever be so mean to tease her and pull his fingers away. He’d give her anything she wanted, she never needed to beg.

He kisses on her neck while his thumb rubs against her clit. She scratches at his shoulders, and she moans out his name. He takes his fingers away and kisses her before reaching for a condom.

“Har?”

“Yeah?” He asks as he rolls it on.

“Would you bend me over the bed?”

“Y/N, if you’re fucking with me I’m gonna be super pissed.” He glares at her.

“I’m not! I mean it, please! I like when we do it from behind, I just wanna try it this way.”

“Alright, get up.” He helps her off the bed, and then she bends over in front of him, propping herself up on her elbows. She wiggles her bottom at him, and he gives her a little smack, making her giggle. “Ready?”

“Mhm, give it to me.”

He lines himself up and pushes inside. She moans out lowly. He starts out by gripping her hips, rocking in and out of her. He wanted to ease her into it.

“I can handle more, Harry, it’s okay.”

“Want it harder, baby?”

“Please.”

He pulls out almost all the way and slams back inside her. Her mouth falls open, and she grips the blankets as he does it over and over. He has to grip onto the back of her neck to keep her in place once he gets an even pace going. All she could hear was his skin slapping against hers. His other hand slips around to rub on her clit and she backs up against him.

“Think you can fuck yourself on my cock while I rub on you?”

“I can try…” She was so fucking wet just from hearing him say that. She moves forward and back, on and off his cock while he rubs on her clit.

“That’s it, babe, use me.”

“Jesus, Harry.” She groans, and bites her bottom lip so she could concentrate. “Oh my god.”

He presses further into her while she backed up on him. She loses it then. He has to move one of his hands over her mouth to muffle her screams. He spills into the condom, the feeling of her squeezing around him did him in. He kisses the backs of her shoulders before pulling out and getting rid of the condom. She collapses onto the bed.

“Alright?” He rubs her back and helps her the rest of the way up.

“Yeah, that was just…wow.” She looks up at him. “I need to pee.”

She looks around and finds her jersey that he was wearing earlier. She was much more comfortable going by herself now, so she waddles out of his room. He can’t help but grow hard again. She just looked so sexy only in her jersey. She comes back in looking freshly fucked and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“Nothing…um…” His face was flushed and her eyes flick down to his hard cock and back to his eyes.

“Are you already hard again?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” She chuckles.

“You look so fucking hot like that. I can wait if you don’t wanna go again so soon.”

“What would you have me do?”

“Come sit on me, bounce up and down?”

“Okay.” She bites her bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m still pretty wet, see?” She lifts the bottom of her jersey so he could see. “Even with going to the bathroom, I just couldn’t help but think about how good it felt.”

“You’re soaked.”

“Mhm.”

“Get over here.” He leans over to his desk and grabs a condom, but she takes it from him. “What are you doing?”

“Do you…I don’t know…maybe not want to use one?”

“That’s how accidents happen.”

“I’m on the pill, I never miss one. I have them with me so I can take it in the morning like I usually do. You could come on my stomach of you feel more comfortable with that. I just wanna feel you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She goes to take the jersey off but he shakes his head no. “Leave it on.” He says lowly.

She crawls onto his lap and sinks down on him. He lays back and lets her go to work. She moves around in a circle at first and then starts to move up and down. His hands grips her hips and then smooth over the globes of her ass.

“You’re so fucking sexy like this, you have no idea.”

“You feel so good, Harry.” She throws her head back as she bounces up and down on him.

“Shit, so do you.”

He wasn’t going to last long, but he wanted to make sure she got hers before he did, so he lifts the jersey a little to rub her sensitive clit.

“Harry!” She gasps and claws down his chest with her nails. “Shit, oh my god!” She comes around him much sooner than she thought.

He pulls her off him, and press her front into the mattress. He lifts the jersey up so he can come on her ass and back. He sighs with relief once he’s done.

“Let me get a towel, babe, one second.” He slides his boxers on and rummages in his closet. Once he finds a spare towel he leaves the room. She was confused but when he comes back she feels warm water on her. He flips her over and wipes between her legs. Her eyes grow wide. He had never done that before. He looks at her and blushes. “Sorry, was that weird?”

“No! I just…you’re just always a gentleman, Harry.” She chuckles.

He tosses the towel into his hamper and practically rips the jersey off her so they could lay skin to skin. He pecks kisses to her lips and chest and rubs her back as they settle in. He pulls the blankets up over them and they both sigh.

“I like your bed so much better than mine.” She nuzzles into his chest. “So cozy.”

“Your bed is cozy too.”

“Yeah, but we have way less room, and as much as I love you, we both get too sweaty in my dinky bed.” She didn’t realize what she said until she feels his body stiffen under hers. She props herself up to look down at him. “I mean, I just meant, um-“ He cups one of her cheeks.

“Don’t you dare try to take it back.”

“It just slipped out…I-“

“Stop.” He shakes his head. “You love me?”

“Harry, I…yeah, I do, I love you.” He pulls her face down to his so he can kiss her.

“I love you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She smiles. “Well, this is nice for us.”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “It’s very nice.” She starts laughing too. “What is it?” He asks as he turns them both over so he can spoon her.

“Nothing, I’m just really fucking glad I had no idea how the brain functioned so I could get you as a tutor.”

[simpsiren]

the familiarly unfamiliar stranger;

na jaemin x reader

He is the guy that’s kind to basically everyone. No one has ever disliked him. He’s always had that “friendly guy but doesn’t have a group of permanent friends” type of aura. Despite that aura of his, he’s never seen hopping from one friend group to another either. He’s just... there. He only has his DNYL fraternity that I would consider to be his only friends.

genre. angst, fluff, childhood friends meeting after a long time becoming lovers

warnings. none!

word count. 16.3k~

description. Would it be possible to meet that particular stranger that you made a sudden connection with in the span of two months when the two of you first met at a beach house party? I didn’t really try finding the answer to that after we parted way and never to cross paths again. Instead, the answer came to me when I went to college and realised that Jaemin was studying there as well. Just when I thought my unsaid feelings could finally be released for him to hear, I got to find out that he joined a fraternity called ‘DNYL’, meaning that they’re people that want absolutely nothing to do with love.

READ PART II HERE

!as they should materlist!

“Get your ass out of this couch and come with me!” Johnny plopped himself down next to me. I kept my eyes on the TV screen, not giving a single care about Johnny's constant persuasion to take me to some beach house party.

“Are you serious right now?” Johnny lets out an exasperated huff. “We’re at the beach for God’s sake! You need to enjoy summer break here to the fullest. One way is to get out and party!” He grabbed onto my wrist, tugging it with every word to emphasize his points. I used my free hand to scoop a handful of popcorn from the bowl. “I still have two months here. I can admire the beach whenever I want. Just not with complete strangers.” I rolled my eyes as I chewed, words muffled due to the fact that I stuffed my mouth till it was full.

“Can you please?” Johnny whined, shoulders shaking from left to right. “Ah! I shall make my wish now.” I turned to him, arching a brow in a questioning look. “What the hell are you talking about?” Johnny giggled and a wide smirk crept up his face creepily. Whatever Johnny’s about to mention is going to force me to stop saying no. I just know it.

“Remember you said you’d grant me a wish since I gave you the credit for coming up with that idea for your art project?” Yup, knew it. Thanks to the idea that Johnny gave me, I was able to get an A for my end of year art coursework. Supposedly, we were needed to credit everyone, and I mean everyone, who contributed in any way. But Johnny offered to give me full credit for the most important part of the project, which I’m greatly thankful for. But unfortunately, it’s now about to stab me in the back.

“I literally treated you to bubble tea for that!” I retorted, eyes narrowed at Johnny as he shook his head vigorously. “That doesn’t count.” I let out a loud defeated sigh. I could never beat Johnny in this. Even if I did, he’d still go on to pester me every second. Not wanting to push this matter any further and having to put up with Johnny’s stubbornness, I plopped another popcorn into my mouth, whispering a “Better be worth my damn time.” after I swallowed.

We were living in a trailer during our stay by the beach and had to walk by the seaside to reach, wherever the beach house was. I followed beside Johnny closely, being absolutely clueless since I have yet to look around the place when we came. It’s only our first day. Can’t expect me to be exploring it immediately. I needed time to get comfortable. But Johnny clearly didn’t get that memo.

The moment the beach house came to view, loud chatters and laughter of glee could already be heard. There were many people hanging by the outdoor restaurant, which was made by colourful planks and decorated with fairy lights that illuminated the entire place beautifully, hung loosely from plank to plank that were placed far apart from each other as the roof, giving you the clearest view of the night sky. Some people were by the hammocks situated just beside it, and the actual beach house itself above the outdoor restaurant.

The place was jammed pack the moment we stepped in. Johnny had to hold my hand as we squeezed through the crowd. The reeked smell of alcohol and burnt barbecue entered my nose, making me scrunch it up the whole way till we entered the beach house. “I shouldn’t have come.” I said dryly to Johnny while he took me to meet his friends. “Go grab some food.” Johnny said as we ended up in front of a room. He opened the door, suddenly a bunch of low screaming was heard as they greeted Johnny. I stood behind him quietly, thinking that his tall figure would cover me.

“Who’s she?” One of them asked. I mentally sighed as Johnny pulled me out from hiding behind his back. “Just a friend I had to drag here to enjoy herself. Isn’t that right?” Johnny said with a playful tone. I threw a sharp glare at him in a split second and turned to the group of guys that were sitting around the large bed, forcing a smile and nodding my head. “Enjoy yourself. Cause’ I’ll be leaving the moment I get my food.” With that, I left to head over to the food pantry.

After zooming my way through the crowded area of the beach house, I finally made it out at the restaurant. I walked to the lines of tables that were filled with food. Barbecued food and desserts. I guess this was a positive decision to come here. I get free food after all. I grabbed a plate from the side and placed practically one of every food that was available till my plate was full. I got myself a cup of iced cold lemon tea and removed myself from the chaotically crowded area.

When I stepped out of the place, I actually didn’t know where to go. I stood there for a moment, food on one hand and drink on the other. My eyes scanned the scenery in front of me. It was just the beach with nothing else on sight. I licked my lips and my legs began to move. I didn’t know where I was going, but I’ll go anywhere that’ll bring me away from all this.

My legs ended up taking me to the rocks at the end of the beachside. I climbed up after placing my food at the top. I sat down and got comfortable, letting my legs dangle freely over the edge. I took in a deep breath, taking in the smell of the sea air that cleared my nose and put me at ease instantly. I looked up to the night sky, my hand reaching for a chicken and took a bite.

The sky that had very few stars to be seen was dark, a blank sky of nothingness. The sea however reflected the light of the moon, the waves glistening under the moonlight each time it hits the surface. Not to mention the soothing sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks below me. “Mind if I join you?”

I flinched and turned around immediately at the voice behind me. I didn’t give a reply and instead inspected him up and down. He had blue hair, which I found was weird at first, but I realised that it went well with his face that was extremely attractive, and seemed to be around my age. He’s wearing a plain white loose tee with black jeans and boots, the entire outfit making his perfectly proportioned body prominent as well as his bright blue hair to stand out.

I have yet to given a reply, too caught up with looking at the stranger as he simply shrugged and take a seat beside my food and drink, my eyes following him with every move. “I’m assuming you came from the party.” He said, eyes staring down on the food. I nodded my head silently. “Just wanted some freah air.” I replied.

I grabbed my drink and take a sip, sighing softly as I swallowed. “Were you from there too?” He laughed and nodded his head. “Since evening. Everyone’s currently drunk and crazy. Just didn’t feel like putting up with that.” He hugged his knees close to his chest, chin resting on his forearm. “How long have you been here?” I took a bite of my chicken and quickly swallowed it down to answer him. “It’s only my first day. I’m staying till summer break’s over.” The boy hummed in reply.

“Same, actually.” Although I had my eyes fixated at the sky, I couldn’t help but take quick glances at him, his eyes being covered by strands of his blue hair and his sharp jawline that could possibly cut through anything. I noticed how he kept his eyes on my food, though he wasn’t trying to make it obvious. “You can have some.” I said, downshifting to the food.

He smiled softly, looking up at me. “Thanks.” He whispered before taking a snack at random and placing it in his mouth. “Is this your first time coming here?” He questioned. I puckered my lips. “Yeah. I mean of course I went to the beach before just not staying here for two months.” I kept silent, thinking of what else to say. I noticed how he was looking at me, as if fully attentive to my words.

“Johnny pulled me in on this, saying I should enjoy a different environment rather than the air of the city breathing down my throat and suffocating me.” I added on, saying exactly what Johnny told me before coming here and looking down to my legs that swayed lightly in the wind. “You mean Johnny Suh?” My brows furrowed as I looked to him. “You know him?”

“Yeah. He’s friends with my brother Jaehyun.” He lets out a weak laugh. “My mother forced me to follow him here to enjoy myself. I’m not a big fan of...” He turned around and motioned his hand lazily to the beach house. “That.”

“Guess we’re here for the same reasons and share the same opinion.” We kept quiet for some time, letting the silence get comfortable between us. Funny how I didn’t feel the slightest bit of awkwardness next to him, as if we’d be able to never know each other yet still feel like we have since forever like the closest of friends do. The cold wind blew gently against our skin, only our light breathing and munching to be heard.

I didn’t know what time it was, nor did I care. But whoever this guy was, he somehow made me want to stay here for longer that I needed.

I didn’t see him at all after that one night. I ended up having to go home myself since Johnny came back to the trailer the next day extremely hungover when he rang the doorbell annoyingly at seven in the morning. Two weeks have passed. And the stranger never left me mind. Not because of how he looked, though that was one of the reasons, but because of the the fact that I felt the sudden comfort when I was with him. It was just one night. A mere few hours. And we were just there. A little chit chat here and there followed by long minutes of silence. But it didn’t feel bad at all. 

“Where are you going?” I asked, seeing Johnny wear his leather jacket while walking over to where I was at, once again on sitting comfortably on the couch for my movie night. “To see my friends. What else? I’m not a homebody like you.” He rolled his eyes at me, going to the kitchen counter to grab his wallet. “Hey, John?” I suddenly asked, curious about something.

He turned around and hummed in question. “Are you friends with a guy named Jaehyun?” His eyes widened slightly and nodded his head. “I do. Funny you mentioned him. I’m meeting him at the beach house later.” His face slowly turned into a mischievous one. “Why? You wanna meet him?” I squinted my eyes at his assumption. “No. I’m just...” I trailed on, but never got to think of an answer, not knowing how to explain to Johnny that I wanted to meet the boy that I knew absolutely nothing about. 

“Asking for a friend.” Johnny smacked his lips. “Tell her he’s unavailable until she gets my approval.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “What a friend.” I commented in a sarcastic manner. “I’ll head out too.” I said, grunting as I rose from the couch. “And where are you going?” Johnny asked curiously. “Hoping to enjoy myself.” I said, my lips forming a thin line as I went to get ready. If Jaehyun’s there, could his brother be as well? 

By the time I finished getting ready, Johnny has already left and I assumed he did a long time ago. I shrugged and left the trailer. I made my way to the beach house. It was still as lively as ever. I did make occasional trips there for the food since they were in fact still delicious. I assumed they were about to have another party. It was already evening. Once again my legs didn’t know where to go and made the unconscious decision of taking me to the rocks.

As if miracle had dawned on me, I was surprised to see him sitting there, his back facing me while he held a guitar on his lap with a small notebook and pencil beside him. I silently walked up to him and sat down, legs crossed. He didn’t say anything for a moment when he noticed me. “We meet again.” He simply said, trailing his eyes from his guitar and to me. I chuckled and smiled softly. “Indeed, we have. My legs just carried me here.” I lied, placing my hands on my thighs as I thought about how he has never left my mind since that night. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, jerking my head to the guitar that sat comfortably on his lap. “Writing a song.” He said, smiling gently back at me. I probably didn’t notice this that night since it was dark and I didn’t get a clear view of his face, but his smile was effortlessly beautiful. It made his whole face glow and he didn’t even have to smile fully. My heart did a leap, quickly my mind captured his face, his bright blue fluffy hair that moved in the strong winds of the day, his nose and his lips, lightly tinted pink that looked soft and smooth. 

He began to strum on his guitar, making gentle and calming sounds flow into my ears. “Being here gives me inspiration.” He grabbed his notebook from the side, writing down something that I couldn’t take a peek of since his head covered the page. “Are you free today?” He suddenly asked, looking up to me and closing the notebook shut with his fingers clasping it. I hummed in reply, my mind starting to wonder why he would ask that out of the blue. “Well I actually have a movie night to get to but it’s not important.” It used to be until you asked, I thought to myself. 

“Oh then it’s fine. You should enjoy your movie night with your friend.” He blurted out quickly, shaking his head and letting out a weak chuckle, facing forward to the sea. I widened my eyes and shook my head vigorously, my hands doing the same in front of me chest. “No! I’m fully free. I meant a movie night with myself.” 

“I’m fully free.” I repeated again, slowly as a way to reassure him while hoping that I’d get to spend some time with him tonight. 

We ended up having a small picnic, ordering two boxes of pizza while we sat by the seashores, the waves just hitting inches away from us where the sand as still dry. “The sunset’s pretty.” I whispered, looking up at the beautiful shades of red till yellow that painted the sky. 

“Have you made any friends here yet?” He asked, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite. I sighed quietly, my chest puffing up ever so slightly. “I only have Johnny, but he’s always hanging out with his friends so.” I cut of, not needing to finish the full sentence. “You?” I questioned him. He gave the same reply, sighing. “Never really got along with anyone here.”

“But you’re getting along well with me.”

“Then I guess that’s a first.”

The two of us laughed. It felt nice. This whole thing. Again we were met with silence. It’s as if that day was repeating itself, only in a different setting. What was it about this that had drawn me in so deep? The peace that soothed me just from doing this, just by having him next to me. He’s a complete stranger. I forgot about asking his name, he never bothered asking me for mine either. We were just... there, admiring each other’s unknown presence. We didn’t bother digging into knowing who we are, we just had to have each other to feel that state of serenity. 

This time we got to chat a little while longer. I got to find out that he was staying here for two months as well, just like me. He told me he liked writing songs a way to express how he feel, unsaid words that no one would understand if he were to say it normally. “Then what about the song you are writing now? What’s it about?” 

He retrieved his eyes back to the sunset, which colours were slowly losing their force to welcome the night. “It’s a work in progress. It doesn’t have a specific meaning to it either. I’m using my time spent here fully to know what to write, which is why I’m planning to add in new lyrics when I feel like it till the end of this trip.” I hummed in reply. Though I didn’t fully understand what he meant or what he was doing that for, I carried on with it anyways, wanting to hear his voice that never really broke the silence, but settled nicely in between.

“What do you think it’s going to be about?” That rhetorical question had him off guard. He didn’t answer, staring into blank space thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. But I somewhat have an idea.” He suddenly took out something out of his pocket, realising that it was his notebook and pencil from last time. He was quick to open a page and scribbled something down. His handwriting was messy and unrecognisable which made me frown slightly since I was curious as to what he wrote.

“Sorry. Something popped up in my mind for my lyrics. I had to write it down since I’m scared I’ll lose it.” He said, cracking a smile. “Can I hear it once it’s finished?”

“I think you’ll be the only person to ever hear it.”

It was three in the morning. Johnny was peacefully sleeping above me while I’m wide awake, my mind never wanting to put me to rest as the very day from years before kept repeating itself in my head. And each time it did, I felt the feelings that came with it as well like it was the first time.

Being restless and wanting something to shoot me flat out, I decided to head to the twenty four hour supermarket Johnny and I went to when we had to buy groceries for dinner. When I reached, I stood in front of the entrance, clueless. Again I didn’t know what I came here for. I just wanted to get anything that’ll take my mind off it. I walked in, and there was barely anyone to be seen. Only the cashier who seemed to be sleeping on his stool. I took quiet steps, not wanting to disrupt his sleep since I knew how hard it was working the night shift, especially as a high school student.

I grabbed one of the worn out yellow baskets from the stack beside the counter and went straight for the chips aisle with the mentality of “Just get whatever you want and indulge yourself in it till sunrise.” I ended up dropping two bags of chips, a whole bunch of milk chocolate bars, specifically Cadburry and KitKat. I wasn’t too scared about them melting since it’s always extremely cold here at night.

I wondered around the supermarket, thinking of what else I could get. I ended up going to the wine aisle, rows and rows of different kinds wine bottles that I’ve never seen or heard of. I wasn’t like those high schoolers that gets drunk every weekend so I didn’t have the widest knowledge on it. The only one I could recognise was the one that Johnny’s friends bought once when they had a sleepover at our house. Me being curious I tried it with the tiniest of drops the bottle had left after they went to sleep. I remembered it to taste fine and didn’t have an impact on me at all since my intake of it was just mere drops. 

I grabbed it off the shelf with a lazy hand but gripped onto properly when I forgot for a moment that the bottle was heavy. I placed it inside the basket that was at the end of the aisle when headed for the cash register. “ID?” He asked after scanning the rest of the items and placing them into a plastic bag.

“Here.”

I flinched and jumped around. I was met with his body close to mine. I leaned back in shock, my eyes protuberant at the sudden appearance of him. “What are you-” 

He handed the cashier his ID. “Thanks dude.” He said, handing me the bottle of wine while he carried the plastic bag. He looked down on me, raising a soft smile. ‘Let’s go.” He held my wrist and walked me out of the supermarket. When we got out I was met with the cold air. I was too lazy to wear a jacket and now I’m somewhat regretting about leaving the trailer with just my sweater. “And how did you end up here?” I asked with curiosity, stopping after we walked a few steps. “I wanted to buy some midnight snacks.” He then lifted the plastic bag in front of him. “But I guess I don’t need to do that.” 

I chuckled, glaring at him and faking my exasperation. “It’s not meant for you.” I joked, hugging the bottle of wine in my arms as I walked with him catching up and matching my steps beside me. “The rocks?” He asked, head tilted as he sped up in front me and began walking backwards. “You know it.” 

We were at the rocks again, same place, same atmosphere. “Are you going to offer me food like you did last time at the party?” He questioned me in a cheeky tone, a soft giggle following after. I adverted my attention from the sky and to him. He was wearing a thick grey hoodie, hood on that covered his face, which made me sad for a moment, not being able to admire his face. 

“Should I?” I asked back with a slight smirk, digging out a Cadbury bar from the bag and opening it. It still felt cold to the touch. Before wanting to take a bite, I sighed playfully and handed it to him. “There.” He looked down at it for a moment. Instead of dipping down to take a bite, he held my thing wrist, his fingers curling around it gently with his cold palm against my skin. That simple touched sent an electric shock throughout my whole body, as if he’s a lightning that had struck me with the simplest of things.

He guides the chocolate bar in my hand to my lips, pushing at my bottom lip with the end of the bar. “It’s fine. It’s yours anyways.” He whispered, letting go and leaning back with his hands supporting him from behind. I blinked twice, one to my lips where the chocolate bar was still on my lips, and the other to him. My body froze and I couldn’t move. I simply stared at him as he closed his eyes. Soon the chocolate started to melt at the contact of my lips, making me take a bite and licking my bottom lip.

“So...” He started, head tilted back but his eyes fluttered open to look at me. “What were you doing at the supermarket buying junk food at three in the morning.” I glanced down at my phone when he mentioned the time. 3:20AM. Why does time move by slowly when I’m with him? It feels as if the world’s telling me to enjoy such moments like these while I can. It was kind enough to slow down time for me.

I didn’t give an answer, my mind going back and forth as I contemplated on whether to tell him. In the end, I did. It’s not like he’ll remember what I say anyways. “Today’s the day my first love broke up with me.” I confessed, smacking my lips and nodding my head. “That’s... sad.”

With a chuckle, I bit down on the chocolate bar. “That’s not even half of what makes this day so depressing.” I sighed loudly, running a hand through my hair that got tangled due to the strong wind. “I found out that he wasn’t normal. He had a problem that didn’t allow him to feel anything. Pain, happiness... and also love.”

I looked to him. He had a blank expression. I couldn’t tell what he thought about it. Yet, he kept silent, in a way to tell me to continue if I had anything more to say. I exhaled sharply before resuming. “So he didn’t love me at all. Not a single drop of it. I remembered when he told his friend one night at an abandoned house that he never loved me. He never felt anything towards me. I was hiding behind a wall. I felt so stupid that I quietly removed myself from the house and ran to the farthest place I could go to.”

Unconsciously, my tears started to well up in my eyes, my vision starting to get blurry as I brought my hand up, fingers shaking tremendously as I took a bite of my almost-finished chocolate bar. “I couldn’t sleep since my mind kept making me think about. It’s not him that’s made me hate that day, but the fact that all the days before that were the happiest times of my life. So to find out that it was all fake...”

My voice began cracking under the pressure. I could feel it all coming at me in one go, in one giant wave. I broke down, my tears instantly flowing out like rivers as I covered my mouth, wanting to muffle out my cries. I suddenly felt an arm around my shoulders, pulling my body close as he began to embrace me, eventually wrapping both arms around me and letting me sink into his warmth. I gripped onto his hoodie and balled my fists, my face digging deeper into the fabric.

“Sh... It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered ever so softly as he placed his chin on top of my head and rubbed my back. “Johnny took me here knowing that. I guess he hoped that I won’t remember it while I’m here.” I croaked out, gulping and taking in deep breaths.

As I began to calm down, I started to think about how gentle he is. He hugged me as if I was a fragile sensitive baby that he had to protect at all costs. He hugged me as if giving me comfort was his only main purpose. His warmth and touch curled around me like a fluffy blanket, a place I’d never want to leave.

Though I was done crying, I stayed there in his arms that held me perfectly. He didn’t bother pulling away either, as if he too didn’t want to let go. “Do you want me to make you forget?” He asked softly, pulling away slightly with his hand still on my back while I had mine on his chest. I let out a weak chuckle. “Can you?”

He laughed for a short moment. “I’ll be...” He looked up thoughtfully. “Your fairy godmother.” He flashed a cheeky smile that got me to burst out laughing. “My fairy godmother? I’m not Cinderalla.”

“But I’ll give you a day like the ball night. I’ll grant you whatever you want, and we can do anything you’d like. How’s that sound?” I looked into his eyes after my laughter died down. His eyes were the softest thing I’ve seen in a person affer a long time. It was filled with gentleness and kindness, perhaps even love that could cover the entire world.

“Perfect.”

We planned to meet the next day at the rocks. We didn’t have a clear idea of what we’re going to do though we freed our entire day for this. But that’s the beauty of the idea, isn’t it? Having to wonder around without a clear goal in mind. Sailing in the ocean’s wave without a destination, and having the waves do its thing to take you to wherever it wants you to be.

He came walking towards me with a tropical button up and light washed jeans along with slippers. My eyes can never take themselves off his blue hair. It’s seriously the second thing to stand out the most other than his face. “Hey.” He called out, lifting a hand up to wave. I took a few steps to him, wearing a happy smile. “What should we do first?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You know this place better than me.” He chuckled nervously, rubbing his palm against the back of his neck while the other was shoved into the pocket of his jeans. “Mm I have plenty of nice places to show you.”

He leaned forward, meeting me at my eye level as our eyes locked sights. My heart started to race quickly and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. Looking at him upclose, he really was more good looking that I thought he was. How did anyone this attractive even existed in the world? My stomach started churning out butterflies that fluttered uncontrollably and my eyes got wary, switching from looking at his one eye to the other.

“Can you handle it all in one day?” I blinked my eyes rapidly as his words hit me. Wanting to not show him my seemingly embarrassed face, I pushed him away by his arm, turning around. “Try me!” I shouted, laughing as I ran away. I placed my palms on my cheek. They were definitely burning. I scrunched up my face at the thought. I heard him running from behind, catching up to me quickly with an adorable giggle.

We ended up going to many places that day. He took me to places that I never even knew existed since I didn’t bother exploring far alone. Days and weeks flew by, our meetups began to be more spontaneous and impromptu. One moment one of us would be hanging out by ourselves and the other would suggest to go on a full blown adventure the next.

“You never tell me you had such dance moves!” I said, panting heavily as I placed both my hands on the sides of my hips to catch a breather. “I mean I do dancing as a side hobby to writing music.” He breathed out. I punched him on the arm, pouting with angry eyes. “I’m never playing with you again! You absolutely trashed me.” I grumbled, folding my arms. He laughed and held both my hands. “Don’t get all grumpy with me when you defeated me at the arcade hundreds of times.” He rolled in eyes in exasperation.

“Well you’re right. But you forced me to give you my plushies!” I shouted as he pulled my close with a tug of my wrists. “I’ll give them back once they starts to smell like me.” He gave off a playful wink as he giggled with mischief. I scoffed loudly and threw him a sharp glare. “Mm sure.”

“This cake is so...” “Fluffy!”

I didn’t even need him to finish my sentence. He read my mind as the two of us hummed in satisfaction, letting ourselves sink into the cake’s flavour and taste like a bath. “Thanks for giving me the idea to try the strawberry flavoured cake.” He said with immense greatfulness as he closed his eyes, a happy child-like smile plastered on his face.

“I’m surprised you never tried it despite coming here often. It’s my favourite flavour.” I smiled to myself and took a sip of plain water. With my lips still on the straw, I looked to him who looked so bright. “Can we get ice cream later?” I raised both my brows and gaped my mouth open. “We’re having cake and now you want ice cream?! You have such a sweet tooth.”

“I’ll treat you to strawberry ice cream.” I slammed my palm faced down on the table. “Deal.”

“You’re at a beach and you can’t even swim!” He shouted as he swam farther into the sea while I stood in the water that only came up my chest area. “Don’t leave me!” I cried out, watching him swim around happily while I was too scared to take another step that would lead me the water level rising up to my neck.

I turned around for a moment and when I looked back, he was gone. I didn’t know where he was but I simply assumed that he was swimming under water. I didn’t find this fun at all. He kept teasing me constantly while he forced me to change into a swimming costume that we had to buy today itself since I never thought of bringing one in the first place.

Just when I wanted to make my way back on the shores, I felt something grab my ankle. Out of pure shock and fear, I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried running away, which failed instantly as I fell into the waters. Scared, I scurried around trying to get my head above for air.

I was suddenly supported with a hand around my waist. He got out of the water, splashing some on me as he flicked his hair back. He pulled me closer, hands still around me waist with a look of worry in his eyes. “A-Are you okay? I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” His eyes were shaky as he looked my face. I stared back, placing my hands comfortably on his arms. I had to wrap my legs around his hips since I wasn’t tall enough to touch the sand.

“You’ll regret doing that once we get out of here.” I retorted, clinging onto his body since I was that scared. “Alright, alright. But I’m going to teach you how to swim. How can you not know?” We made our way back to the shore with him struggling to carry my body. I found it cute how he tried to mask the fact that he looked like dropping me with each step. “My family don’t go out doing stuff, you know? We’re just at home most of the time.”

“That’s a disappointment. Be glad that you got me to teach you basic survival skills.” I gaped my mouth open widely, scoffing. “Shut up.” I pushed him away by the chest only to have him come at me with his laughter, which only made me laugh in response.

How was it already my last two days here? Johnny reminded me to pack up my stuff before I left to meet him yet again. This time we promised to spend the entire day together, morning till night, never leaving the other’s side till the last minute.

“You’re leaving after me?” I questioned, head on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around my waist that sat perfectly. “Yeah.” He simply replied in a gentle voice, the two of us staring up to the night sky, looking at the stars that we spent pointing out and making up our own constellations with them.

“Hygge is still shining brightly.” I whispered, pointing upwards and drawing its made up constellation. “It’s shining because of how we’re at peace right now.” He brought a hand up to my head, carassing it lovingly as he threated his fingers through my hair, expertly getting rid of its knots.

“About the song...” I turned my head to him, humming. “I’ll have it done by tonight and sing it for you tomorrow before you leave.” I dug my face deeping into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that I grew to get used to very quickly during my stay here. “I’m glad I’ll finally be able to hear it. Can you still not tell me what it’s about?” I whined softly, putting on a frown that made him chuckle.

“You can figure that out instantly once I sing it to you so don’t worry. I’m not some philologist.” He slowly dipped in to plant a light kiss on the crown of my head, his lips staying there while I could only assume he had his eyes closed to take in one of our last moments together before we part ways.

The next day I went to the rocks first thing in the morning. He was sitting there, guitar in hand, his legs dangling over the edge. He wore his white tee again, resembling what he wore the first day I met him. I didn’t know why, but every moment I had with him kept reminding me of the first time we met. He came at me out of the blue, yet he didn’t need to do much to makd an impression that stuck on me.

“Alright. Play it now, play it now!” I said, immediately after sitting down next to him. He turned his gaze to me, laughing as he flashed his eye smile that I absolutely adore. “Jeez calm down first!” He strummed on his guitar, taking a moment to check if everything’s ready. He then looked to me, his wide smile growing into a softer and smaller one as he began to play.

The more I listened, the more I realised what he meant by the fact that I’ll know what it was about. Or rather, who. It was about me, about us. He sang about our trips and outings, and everything about me. From being the most beautiful being to the weirdest, he sang about it all. My heart ached in the most amazing way possible. It fluttered as I felt the love and sincerity expertly imbued into each note, each word he sang. He didn’t break his eyes off me either, as if opening my soul with his voice that only drew me in deeper into his being that I knew all too well, but also didn’t.

I knew him, head to toe, front to back. I knew him well like my favourite book where the plot, characters, the plot twists were all etched in my brain. I didn’t even need to think to know what happened next. That’s how much I knew him in the span of two months. Yet, I never knew basic information about him. His name, age, where he went for education. We silently decided not to tell that information of ours to the other, simply thinking that we’re strangers that have known each other for years.

That was the last time I saw him. After that day till the moment Johnny drove our trailer away. He never left my mind and it was only then when the beach left my view that I started to feel the regret of not asking him who he was. Why was I so stupid not to ask? For forgetting that we’ll part ways and never meet again unless we had some form of connection. Why did we spend time together in our made up dream thinking that for a moment fate would bring us together when we’ve completely forgotten about reality hitting us right after?

I was at the lecture hall for my art major. It felt as if a whole year went by just from listening. I glanced down at my phone. Ten more minutes. On top of my coursework which I had to hand in by week nine, there was also going to be an exam on the study of visual arts. I hope to at least get some rest before I push through how many all-nighters just to get it all done and over with.

Finally our professor ended his lecture. The lecture hall now filled with sounds of everyone keeping their materials and heading straight for the door. I decided to hold back for awhile, not wanting to have to push myself through the large crowd trying to get out through the small doors. Majority of the people have already exited after I scrolled through my phone and just as I was about to stand up to leave, I heard a loud slam on my table. I instantly turned to it. There was a sticker on my table. I looked up and scanned my surroundings, wondering who pasted it there. A guy in a black hoodie with his hood on zoomed past me at the back since I sat at the last row, making his way to the exit and leaving.

I adverted my attention back to the weird sticker that was being pasted on my table by God knows who. I was able to peel it off from the table since the adhesive on it wasn’t strong. I gripped it in between my index and middle finger, bringing it up close to my face. “DNYL...?” I whispered to myself, reading the letters that were large and in a red cursive font that was dripping from the bottom in a heart. I blinked my eyes rapidly, proceeding to turn it around so that I could look at it from all angles. There’s nothing else, nothing to tell me who gave the weird sticker to me.

I stuck it on the back of my phone, not knowing exactly where to place it. Throughout the day I kept glancing at it with a bunch of questions surfacing each time. I was now back at the dorms. The first thing I did was opened up my computer to search up whatever the hell DNYL stood for. But nothing popped up. I started to think it was something that’s within the school. Some kind of club? Or an organisation?

I’ve thought about it for so long that the time I had to rest had already passed by and now I had to start work. “What the hell even is this?” I questioned myself yet again before throwing my phone to my bed and began taking out my art materials to resume my coursework.

The next day I was sitting in the hall before lecture started, my eyes glued to the door as I tried to find whoever that gave me the sticker. They had to be taking this course to be here anyways. But, the longer I stared at the door, the longer I thought to myself “Why did I even think that he’ll wear the same hoodie as yesterday?” I shook my head, placing chin on the palm of my hand as I let out a quiet sigh. A few poeple were wearing black hoodies, but they weren’t like the one I saw yesterday. They didn’t have that body type either.

I scratched my head, fully distressed about this trivial matter that I shouldn’t even be questioning much about, especially when I had a whole workload of things to do that is way more important than some sticker. Yet, my curiosity could never seem to shake it off. Nothing has happened after that. No stickers, weird guy, nothing. However, my senses were always on the edge, ready to catch the person if I were to ever encounter myself with the same sticker.

Due to my roommate suddenly having a party at our dorm with her group of friends, I decided to head over to the study café, not wanting to be stuck in my room and having to deal with the noise from outside. During my time there, hours have already passed by. It has always been like this whenever I do art. So much time yet so little accomplishments. Luckily I was able to complete what I wanted to for tonight and decided that it was a good time to look for books that could help me with my research for my study of visual arts assignment which would eventually lead to my exam.

I head down to the first floor where the library was. It was dark and secluded with only the lamp from the desk being the only thing that illuminated a small part of the library. I took silent steps to the bookshelves, my eyes scanning up and down with my finger following it as I tried finding a book. I was about to switch to the other side of the shelve when something at the side caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks and turned a sharp ninety degrees.

Just below the sign that indicated the books’ genre, there was a familiar shape. Slowly, I took out my phone and turned on the flashlight. As expected, it was the heart shaped sticker again. It had the same design, same letters. This time however, it looked worn out, like it’s been here for more than a year with his edges fraying like someone tried to tear it off, along with the discolouration.

“What even...” I whispered to myself. Upon further inspection with squinted eyes, there was something that resembled a quote that was placed along the rim of the sticker. “Don’t.... your. What does it say?” I couldn’t help but wonder, the fraying of the edges mot giving me a chance to even guess what the quote was.

With this new information, I laying on my bed, still in my pyjamas and not wanting to leave my bed till afternoon since I had no classes for the day. I turned my phone to the back where the sticker was. There wasn’t any quote on it like the one at the library. Whenever I tried thinking of possibilities of what the full quote could mean, I could only assume “Don’t Need Your Love.” to be the only plausible answer.

“Hey, Sierra?” I asked the moment she came walking in after she was done showering. She turned around, the small towel draped over her head while drying her hair. “Is there perhaps... a fraternity here called DNYL?” She turned to me, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t know about what happened?”

I copied her expression. “What do I not know?” She turned to the full length mirror beside her bed as she grabbed her earrings off her dressing table. “My senior said it used to be a fraternity for anyone that doesn’t want to be in love. Basically for those who’ve been through heartbreaks and shit or anything related to love that they don’t want to associate themselves with.”

“But the college thinks that it’s not something to be promoted so they disbanded the fraternity.” Sierra shrugged while wearing her earrings. Her eyes trailed from herself and to me, the reflection of myself looking at her. “Why’d you ask though?”

I gulped, shaking my head and cracking a soft smile. “It’s nothing.” I whispered, looking down to my phone case with the sticker. I forced a smile, looking back up and seeing Sierra grab her bag. “Have fun during lecture.” She laughed and nodded her head. “Have fun resting while I suffer.” With that, she left the dorm.

I went on with my day and decided to not be lazy and actually make my own breakfast instead of ordering the unhealthy McDonald’s breakfast like I do every morning. At the kitchen, it felt quiet. Too quiet for my liking, with only the sound of the pan sizzling the moment I added the pancake batter to be heard. It wasn’t like the silence at the beach. The silence I shared with him. Nothing could compare to that. I felt lonely, and distant.

My mind slowly trailed back into my memories of him. I began to remember the song he sang to me on my last day, remembering the tune and every lyric. Like I said, he never left my mind. Him and everything that went along with the trip was just filed in the back of my mind. It was only now that it began to surface as I started to feel the emptiness of his absence. Not being able to bear it, I turned to my phone and switched on the radio, specifically our college’s radio studio that has their own podcast airing every morning. I never really bothered listening to it till now.

“Alright, we’re going to have a short break so let’s enjoy this song called Don’t Need Your Love by NCT DREAM together before we talk about our next topic.” I didn’t pay attention to his words at first, it came in one ear and went out the other, being too focused on getting my pancakes to not burn. Due to my lack of cooking experience, this part of getting it to cook really got me anxious and on full concentration mode.

The song began to play, and it was cathy. The rhythm had my bobbing my head while I had my eyes cautiously looking at the pancakes. You think it’s my heart you’re holding. You still think you’re all that I need. I placed my pancake onto my plate, getting ready to make the next. The song began to pick up its speed, the drop coming in and making me bob my head harder due to the addictive nature it had before it hits the chorus.

I don’t need your love. Don’t need it. Don’t need it, need it no. And that’s when it hit me. The title of the song, the lyrics. Why haven’t I noticed it at all? I turned to my phone, looking at the screen that showed the same heart shaped logo the sticker had. I gaped my mouth open, immediately picking up the phone as I brought it close to my ear. I’m definitely hearing it correctly. I brought my phone in front of me. The same logo the fraternity had.

Millions of questions came up. If the fraternity doesn’t exist anymore, then why did they suddenly approach me by giving me the sticker? Were they trying to recuit new people to revive the status of the fraternity? And how was this song even playing if the college didn’t allow it to be promoted?

I'm going crazy, please, because of you. I can't sleep. What are you thinking? No, don’t say it. Aside from you. I have many other things to lean on. I don't wanna go back. My eyes widened at the voice who sang that part. It was him. It’s definitely him. It was his voice. I remembered it vividly from when he sang to me at the rocks. I couldn’t have been mistaken.

I turned off the stove, adverting my attention back to the music as I tried to listen to the rest of the song to see if I could pick up his voice again. Unfortunately, I didn’t. That was the only part I got to hear before the music stopped and the guy’s voice came back. “Um actually there was some error. That song wasn’t supposed to be played. Uh l-let’s listen to Long Flight that was written by our very own student council president Lee Taeyong, shall we?” Just like that, the music began playing.

I stood there, completely frozen. “What just happened...?” I whispered to myself, slowly putting my phone back down on the table. I lowered the music as it settled in the background while my mind went deep into my thoughts. “I couldn’t have heard it wrong. I’m sure it was him. I’m not going crazy, am I?” I paced back and forth in the kitchen, thinking if I was actually going crazy from desperately trying to figure out who he was.

I tried pushing the thought away. But it always came back no matter what I was doing, casually creeping back into my mind. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to know. I had to be sure. I grabbed whatever belongings I needed and headed to campus.

I brisk walked my way over to the recording studio where supposedly they recorded live for the radio. I pushed the door open, immediately greeted with the head of the radio station team, Moon Taeil, looking at me while sitting on the black swivel chair, legs crossed. “Excuse me?” He questioned, head tilted just a few degrees as his eyes looked me up and down. It felt as if I was being scrutinised by his stare.

“Um I’m sorry but I just have a quick question.” I slowly closed the door behind me and walked towards him. Looking around, there were the other members of the team sitting down at a table and discussing something. “And what’s that?” Taeil asked again with a firm tone which sent a shiver down my spine. “The song you played for the radio. Don’t need your love? Uh who was it written by... And who sang it?”

Taeil licked his lower lip, breaking his eyes off me for a moment as he looked around with uncertainty. He eventually placed both his elbows on the arm rest, arms standing up with his fingers interlocking just below his chin. “It’s written by our alumni Harvey. And who it’s sung by, I honestly don’t know. They just called themselves NCT DREAM and submitted the song anonymously for it be played.”

He lets out a loud sigh for a pause, pursing his lips into a thin line. “But I got a message form the student council that it shouldn’t be played so I had to stop it. It was a good song though.” He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “Oh... I see.” I whispered softly, looking down to my feet. “Is that all you need, dear?” He asked, a soft smile forming on his face as I shot my head back up from the flood. “A-Ah yes. Thank you so much.” I rushed out the door.

On my way back I kept thinking about what Taeil said, trying to connect the dots with whatever knowledge I’ve gathered. Yet, I still had other questions that were yet to be answered. Who is NCT DREAM? And why have I never heard of them during my time here in college? I wasn’t that person who’s not updated on whatever’s going on on campus anyways. Was playing that song part of their plan to promote their unofficial fraternity?

I was completely distracted for the days that followed after. I couldn’t fully concentrate while studying, the song being replayed in my head over and over again, specifically his part. The most impossible possibility came to my mind. “Is he in this college?” I lifted my head up from the papers, my eyes narrowing down to one spot on the wall. I laughed to myself and shake my head, taking a quick sip of my coffee.

“Don’t be stupid. Coincidences like that only ever happens in movies.” I looked to my phone. Slowly, I reached my hand out for it and flipped it over, my eyes meeting with the bright red sticker. “Can you please stop stressing over this? Get your priorities straight!” I half-shouted, groaning as I dropped my head on the table. My eyes began welling up and my vision got blurry as I thought of wanting to hear his voice sing me to sleep, my tears streaming down my face in a matter of seconds.

Sierra and I went our separate ways to our building departments after walking to campus together. I entered the lecture hall. It wasn’t empty as I thought it would be. More people seemed to come earlier today. Like any other day, I paid attention to my professor, taking down notes and listening attentively yet dying slowly as each minute passes by.

“Don’t forget your coursework is due in a week’s time!” He shouted one last time as everyone made their way out instantly after lecture ended. I sighed tiredly, getting up from my seat and walking to the door. This time I decided to just go with the crowd, the desperation of wanting to go back to the dorms and take a nap before driving myself insane through the night with my workload again.

I was squished between people with them bumping into me every which way. I began regretting I chose this decision. But perhaps not when I suddenly felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder. There wasn’t anyone that looked like they relied their hand back. I tilted my head down to where they placed their hand. It was the sticker. I instantly ripped it from my jean jacket after I finally got out of the mess. I observed the crowd at walked past after leaving the hall. None of them looked suspicious in any way.

“If you’re interested, head over to the abandoned play room in basement one today once you finish lecture.” I read the note that was written over the sticker. With both brows raised, I turned back to the doors, which was now empty and secluded. I instantly nodded my head with determination as my curiosity started to fuel, walking to basement one.

Making my way there, more emotions began to dance around in my heart. I felt the excitement and hopefully satisfaction since I’ll finally be able to know whatever the heck that has been going on and I wouldn’t need to feel the stress of pondering about it any longer too. However, I also felt nervous. I didn’t know the reason for this fraternity disbanding. What if there was something more dangerous behind it? What seemed to weird me out the most is the fact that this fraternity is somehow connected to the stranger from the beach, which was probably the biggest reason for my eagerness to find out.

I’ve only been to the basement once or twice to get free art materials that have no longer been used. It was dark, secluded and eerie. The coldnees wasn’t making my journey there any better either. I got closer to the play room. The sign was glowing a bright yellow and illuminated the surrounding area. There was also light coming from the play room through the glass door. I licked my dried lips nervously and placed my hand on the door handle, entering with my heart thumping out of my chest.

The moment I entered, I was met with the eyes of four people. Six guys, to be exact. They stared at me, and I stared back. It was complete silence while I had a staring competition with them. “Ah! You’re here!” I shook my head and broke eye contact with them, my attention adverted to the voice. It was another guy who came out from a door that led to another room I assumed.

“Look I’m not interested in joining. Just curious about something.” I put it out there immediately before they tried to do anything that’ll persuade me. All of them gave weird looks. A look that said “You didn’t even bother giving us a try.” The guy walked up to me, bringing his hand up in front of me. “I’m Haechan.” He introduced himself with a bright smile, just like the sun.

“_____.” I forced a smile. Though I was here for answers, I didn’t expect to be in the presence of five guys. If I’m being honest, they did look familiar. Students that I’ve probably seen only once then never again. “Who was the one that gave me the sticker?” I immediately turned to the others sitting on the couch. Haechan placed his hands on his hips and scoffed. “Jeno did you seriously used the sticker method?”

Another guy that had a smaller figure but looked tall with blonde hair gaped his mouth open, looking to his mates as they all stared down on him with looks of disappointment. “I did it like how Harvey recruited us.” Jeno retorted nonchalantly. “But that’s not a good- Urgh who am I kidding we had other jobs to do anyways” Another guy came to view. He was another blonde head. “Guys! Stop the fighting.” Haechan shouted beside me. His scream making everyone flinch, especially one who almost fell off from the couch.

“Can someone please explain what is this unofficial fraternity and why was I even pulled into this mess?” “Renjun go.”

“Huh?” Haechan looked to another that had a smaller figure than Jeno. “Explain.” He arched a brow and scoffed. “You’re getting a beating from me later for bossing us around just cause’ you’re the head.” Renjun rolled his eyes and stood up, going to what seemed like a projector and turning it on. “Oh before we get to that, that’s Jisung and Chenle, Biology department. Renjun, Psychology department. Mark, Science department. Jeno, art department and I’m part of the History department. Then...” Haechan introduced them one by one, pointing to each of them but stopped, making me look up at him with an arched brow.

“Jaemin’s not here again?” Mark asked, pinching the nose of his bridge while shaking his head. “Don’t tell me-”

“He’s either sleep deprived, going crazy or staying up for another three days with his fifth cup of four shots espresso coffee.” Jeno finished Haechan’s sentence easily. I gaped my mouth open, scoffing in disbelief. “F-Four shots of espresso?!” I half-shouted, my hand on its way to shut my jaw close.

The room was filled with sighs and groans of disappointment due to their mate’s reason for his absence in the play room. “Who’s Jaemin...?” I asked curiously. “I swear he comes to our meetings like never.” Chenle grumbled, clearly ticked off. I took in my surroundings. The tension suddenly became tough and firm after the so-called “Jaemin” was mentioned. I began to wonder what was it about this person that got his members to be so worked up other than not attending the “fraternity’s” meetings.

“Wait. Jeno’s in the art department?” I turned to the guy who had his head phone, looking at his phone before shooting back up to me. “Oh, yeah. I am.” I clicked my tongue. “Never knew you existed till now.” Jeno placed his phone on the table before meeting my eyes again. “Means I’m doing my job well.”

“I’ll force him here next meeting. Anyways, he’s in the architect department. He usually needs to stay up to complete his assignments. Explains his extreme addiction for coffee and staying up for days on end.” Haechan made known, trying to sound reassuring. I simply nodded my head, turning to the screen that projected a video that has yet to be played. It showed someone standing on a stand, leaning into the small mic in front of him. Haechan nodded his head to Renjun, signaling the video to be played. With a press of a button, the video began.

“Mic check 1,2,1,2. Can you hear me?” He had blonde hair and wore a red jacket. “Dear fellow students. The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day. So the reason I’ve turned on this mic today is to talk about the coolest club on our campus. DNYL, Don’t Need Your Love.” He motioned his hand to the screen that showed their logo, along with a group photo of people I didn’t recognise.

“Now, for those that have been dumped, had a breakup or dealing with a broken heart, this is the perfect club for you.” He paused for a moment, scanning his eyes over the crowd as if wanting to engage each and every one of them.

“Have you been cheated on? Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Are you tired of waiting for that call from your ex? I definitely am.” A bright smile began to crack on his face. “Well, there’s no more of that. You don’t need any more worries and simply let it all go with us. So let’s just have a great time. DNYL, come join our club, and let’s have some fun!” Just like that, the video ended.

“That’s Harvey, our senior.” Haechan pointed his finger to the guy on screen before dropping his hand back down on his side. “The club immediately got disbanded. His batch was the last one to have the club being official.”

“We want to carry on with his club. He recruited all of us, randomly pasting stickers on our desks and chests before he graduated, hoping we’d rise it up again.” Haechan folded his arms as he explained further. I nodded my head as the information sank in. “Then... Why am I being recruited?” I asked the most important question.

Renjun walked up to me, standing firm with placing his weight on one leg, hands shoved into his jean jacket. “Because we’ve noticed how you seem to look like a sore loser during the whole of your time here.”

“Renjun! That’s rude.” Jisung cried out, shaking his head with a big frown. Renjun simply shrugged at his friend’s comment. “Bold of you to assume I’m being a sore loser because of love.” I cocked a brow, which resulted in Renjun looking away for a moment scoffing before locking his intimidating eyes onto mine. “Then why are you a sore loser?”

I couldn’t reply. I was fully taken aback. He was right. Ever since I began college, though my life has been fine for the most part, I was lost. In a daze, in a blank space of nothingness. As if I was being put in a huge desert with no map and no guidance. I didn’t bother making friends either. I had a neutral relationship with everyone in my major, but never one that I’d consider and actual friend. I was lonely. Too lonely to the point where I didn’t feel anything else. I was simply stagnant. And it was all because of him.

“That’s what I thought.” Renjun went back to the couch with a smug smirk on his face, plopping himself in between Chenle and Jisung. “But why have I never seen you guys before?” I questioned. “Because we’re trying to keep a low profile while promoting so the council wouldn’t catch us.” Chenle replied instantly. “Jaemin has no problem doing that. He’s holed up in his dorm twenty four seven. Literally.” Jisung commented.

“So.” Haechan turned to me sharply and confidently. I blinked my eyes rapidly at the sudden action. “Do you want to join us?” I looked around the room again. Everyone’s eyes staring at me with anticipating looks. I bit my lower lip. “I’m given time to make a decision, right?” Everyone turned their heads to each other and nodded with looks of reassurance and hope. Haechan placed a firm hand on my shoulder.

“The fact that you’re considering is already a huge thing for us.”

I was in deep thought late at night, sitting at my study table with the tip of my pen in between my lips as I bit down it, thinking long and hard about joining the club.

It seemed like a good place. Though it felt extremely intimidating, I picked it up from the get-go that they’re extremely close with each other, meaning that their love for the club is stronger than ever. Throughout, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And the more I did, the more I began to realise that I’ve been holding onto someone that could possibly never cross paths with me ever again. I was holding on so tightly to the impossible, blinding myself with delusion to the point where I even considered the fact that he could be in this school.

I couldn’t be holding on forever. I had to let go. I needed to accept the fact that he’s someone I’ll meet once in a life time, that short period of time where that person has given me a heaven that could never stay forever. I’ll force myself to let go, leave it all behind, and move on.

Though I thought I already had my mind made up, I ended up staying in bed for the rest of the day. The plushie I won with him during the trip on one hand, my phone with Haechan’s contact number on the other, waiting for my thumb to press the call button and confirm my recruitment. I thought I could forget, but I never. It never went away, my memories of him. But it always made me crave for him when he’s not there, only making me suffer on the bitter end. I kept telling myself that maybe I’ll slowly let go when I join the club. I was having a battle in my mind, a whole warzone playing out as my contemplation settled comfortably in my mind as if it wasn’t doing any damage to me. 

“Fuck this.” I whispered angrily to myself, lifting my body up slightly to throw the plushie under my bed, laying back down and giving Haechan a call. No turning back, I guess. Haechan told me to meet at the play room with the others right after our classes. They didn’t have an exact meet up time so whoever’s there first would chill and wait till the rest arrived.

I walked into the play room the next day after lecture. Seeing no one, I assumed I was the first one here. I decided to explore the play room for a bit and the first place I decided to go to was the room where Haechan came out from when I first met him. Entering the room, my jaw hung low, mouth open as I saw the sight before me.

It looked like a gaming cafe. There were arcade games on one corner, a lounging area with a comfortable looking couch with fluffy blankets and pillows, followed by smal shelf of books. There was even a large pantry on the left corner. The room was painted a bright muted yellow and the decorations made it look very aesthetically pleasing. “You like it?” I turned around, flinching slightly as Jisung came in and walked past me, holding a large box in his arms.

“Yeah. It’s quite cool actually.” I whispered, still at awe in the room I was in. I looked to Jisung who was at the pantry. He opened the box and it revealed a whole stock of small packet chips. He proceeded to take them out and place it in baskets on the pantry table. “Can I have one?” I asked. He threw me a packet, to which I had quick enough reflexes to catch in one hand.

“Looks like we’re the first ones here.” Jisung said after emptying out the box and shoving it below the table, grabbing one chip packet and opening it. “Mhm.” I replied, popping a chip in my mouth. “I’m surprised you accepted it in one day.”

I shrugged, walking to the couch and placing my tote bag down before taking a seat. Jisung followed behind me, sitting down on the empty space next to me. “I have my reasons.” I nodded firmly. I then turned to him. “If I may ask, why did you decide to join the club?” I questioned out of pure curiosity.

“Could say I have a rough time with relationships growing up. I always had crushes, people I fall for too easily. Had to constantly deal with unrequited love.” He pursed his lips into a thin line. “I actually had one girl in college that I liked. But when I found out she completely fooled me I had a breakdown at the back of the school.” Jisung took in a deep breath before continuing. “That was when Harvey came up to me and talked about DNYL. I have never regret joining.” He lets out a soft chuckle.

“I’m glad you’ve found your place here.” I complimented amicably. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in with us.” He flashed a kind and soft smile that didn’t make me hesitate to reciprocate the gesture. “Ah shoot!” Jisung rose up from the couch. I looked up at him with a surprised expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to drag Jaemin here.” Jisung groaned out loud, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it on the crown of his head. “Actually- I’ll just let Jeno handle him.” Jisung said. “But I’m craving for some coffee. Want me to get you anything?” I gave an eye smile in response. “Strawberry tea would be nice.” Jisung breathed a chuckle and downshifted his head. “Alright. Be right back!” Jisung ran to the door and exited, closing the door carefully and quietly.

I smacked my lips, my fingers unconsciously digging into the packet as I continuously shoved chips into my mouth like a machine. I finished it within minutes and threw it in the dustbin. Not knowing what to do, I decided to get my laptop out and finish whatever I can for my coursework. and doing more research. I realised that there was a speaker on the table and decided to use it, blasting hyped songs for me to vibe through my work.

“Jaemin!” Jeno shouted as he slammed the door to Jaemin’s dorm wide open. Jeno stared at Jaemin. He’s in his grey hoodie and sweatpants that Jisung assumed he never changed out of. He had cups and cups of empty Starbucks all laid across the table along with his stacks of paper. Jaemin had his body leaned against the easel where the large piece of paper that had his layout propped on it.

Jeno huffed, walking up to Jaemin and shaking his shoulder vigorously. “Jaemin, wake up. How long have you been like this?” Jeno asked worryingly. Jaemin fluttered his eyes open halfway, looking around lazily and rubbing his eyes before his friend of five years came to view. “Time check?” Jaemin whispered, closing his eyes back for a moment.

“Wednesday, five pm. Jaemin you’ve been up for days. Get some rest at the play room, will you?” Jeno pouted looking at his friend who was completely worn out to the core and obviously concerned for his health due to the amount of coffee he’s been indulging himself in for the past three days.

Jaemin sighed, pulling his hood down and looking at Jeno, forcing a sincere smile to make him look the slightest bit awake. “Can I skip today’s meeting? I can just sleep here.” Jaemin forced himself out of his uncomfortable position against the easel and went for his bed, dropping his almost lifeless body onto it and sinking into the sheets. Jeno sighed quietly, smacking his lips. “Alright. Please just sleep. And clean your damn room it reeks of coffee.”

Jaemin hummed in reply, slowly nodding his head while pulling his blanket over his body and getting comfortable. “I’m just about done with my project. Maybe two more weeks? Then I’ll be back to normal so tell them to not worry about me.” Jeno scoffed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. “I think they’re more furious than worried, Nana. They kept complaining when you weren’t there yesterday.” Jaemin exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “How’s the promotion coming along?”

Jeno glanced upwards thoughtfully before answering. “It’s... I don’t know. We tried playing our song on college radio but Lee Taeyong called it off halfway and played his song instead. But! We have a new member.” Jaemin’s eyes shot open at the mention of new members. He looked at him, blinking his eyes rapidly. “How many?” “One.” Jeno quickly answered, making Jaemin let out a ‘tsk’ and closing his eyes back. “Just one? Harvey was able to recruit all of us in one go.”

“Tell that to jisung.” Jeno scoffed. “But I mean at least it’s a girl.” Jeno folded his arms and shrugged nonchalantly. Jaemin furrowed his brows. “Girl? Isn’t DNYL suppose to be an all boys club?” Jeno rolled his eyes at his friend’s comment. “Change of rules now that Haechan’s head. Plus, it’s not just the guys that have a rough time with relationships. Girls suffer too. And the club will help them.” Jaemin scoffed in reply. “He used the sticker method?” Jeno hummed in reply.

“And I wonder just what is the girl’s reason for joining the club.”

Jeno raised a brow at his friend, who now seemed to be wide awake and intrigued due to the conversation. “I mean barely know her enough to ask but maybe she will if all members come by.” “Yeah no.” Jeno groaned and rose up from the bed, making his way for the door. He turned to Jaemin, who already had his eyes closed with his chest going up and down soothingly

“Don’t continue being like this, Nana...” Jeno whispered, glancing to Jaemin one last before going out and closing the door behind him.

Once Jaemin heard the door close, he got up, sitting straight and leaning his back against the headboard supported by pillows. After staring into blank space for a moment, he slowly reached for his guitar that was propped beside his bed. He began to strum mindlessly while deep in thought.

Jaemin’s fingers got ready after he made sure that the guitar sat comfortably on his lap. He began to play a common tune, not knowing what song to play. But it didn’t take long for his fingers to play the tune of the song he wrote for her, as if they had a mind of its own. But he couldn’t sing it. It pained him too much that he never saw her again after that trip.

“Fuck I’m stupid.” Jaemin whispered after singing a lyric with a shaky voice, lips quivering with each word being sung out. He leaned his head back on the headboard, biting his lower lip hard to hold back his tears as he continued to strum, his being slowly crashing down and falling apart at the thought of her. 

After about slightly more than half an hour later, Jisung came back with our drinks, followed by the rest of the members entering behind. “Thanks.” I said, taking the tea that Jisung handed out to me. Everyone gathered around in a circle around the couch, some jamming to the song I was playing. But I decided to stop it since I didn’t want to seem rude and have it as a distraction during our time together.

“Jaemin’s sleeping?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded his head in reply, lips puckered. “He looked so drained and dead. He said that he’ll be done with his project in two weeks time so I guess he’ll be there by then.” Jeno said, leaning back and having his body supported with his two hands behind him. 

“Don’t you think there’s something going on with him though?” Mark questioned, which suddenly led the room to complete silence for a split second before Jisung coughed to break it. “Well we don’t know for sure. Jeno, do you know?” All eyes turned to Jeno. I could only listen and take in information, not knowing the context behind the conversation.

“No. He doesn’t even want to tell me though I’ve been his friend for five years.” Jeno explained. “What’s wrong with Jaemin...?” I asked nervously, afraid if my question was too disrespectful or an invasion of privacy. The air that surrounded us was thick, as if everyone’s on edge and not thinking straight. It didn’t take me long to realise that Jaemin has always been a big factor of this club, having the ability to put his club in such a state even with his absence. 

Haechan licked his lips, looking around as if trying to come up with a way to phrase his answer. “He... Ever since the start of college, we just feel as if he’s here, but also not.” Haechan paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “He never shared why he wanted to join this club. I mean clearly we want to know but we aren’t that nosy to the point where we want to force it out of him. We respected the fact that he didn’t want to share.”

“But we always felt that it was something that impacted him greatly because despite having us, it seems like he’s using work as a way to cope. Again explains his constant indulgence of coffee. He’s been quite closed off to us for a long time but he’s getting better... I guess.” Renjun added on. I could tell that the last part was filled with uncertainty, him not being fully satisfied with his explanation but refuses to add on any further. “He’ll come around. We can just hope. But for now...” Chenle trailed on, taking a seat next to me and wrapping a friendly arm around my shoulders. “Let’s have a fun welcome party for our new member.”

We ended up watching a movie. Specifically a scary movie after we ordered take out. “You guys are serious scaredy-cats!” Haechan laughed, taking a bite of his chicken and leaning forward closer to the TV screen while all of us had our eyes covered by the pillows we were holding up. Renjun smacked a pillow on Haechan’s head, making everyone laugh and have the room filled with lightness out of simple humour.

“Don’t act so brave, idiot.” Just then, a jumpscare came up, making everyone jump on their seats and Haechan screaming at the top of his lungs out of pure fear which made Jisung fall of the couch from shock. “Haechan!” Jisung shouted, groaning as he went back up to sit on the couch. Haechan turned around, forehead creased and face scrunched up. “Not my fault!”

“Shut up you literally acted as if you weren’t scared like one minute ago!” Chenle fired his words at full speed. And everyone, especially Mark’s laughter really lit the room’s atmosphere and making me feel a whole lot better already. Haechan told me that the club didn’t have a specific goal or anything, we were all just here to have fun, forget our problems.

It was a long night. After movie time we played arcade games, which was just all of them being extremely competitive except for me and Mark who were simply laughing in the background like spectators watching an intense scene with many complications that we couldn’t help but laugh at. We did everything that the play room offered. And throughout the whole time, I really felt happy, truly happy. I wasn’t stagnant. I actually felt the joy from hanging out with them. It’s as if I’ve forgotten the fact that I’ve felt so alone all this time, and opening up to feelings that I’ve never experienced in a long time.

I checked the time. It was one in the morning surprisingly. We all huddled around the couch, I was wrapped in the blanket while the others hugged their pillows. They dimed the lights and I swear I could doze off in any second due to the night we just had. “Hey, _____?” Jisung called out to me, making me turn to him and humming in question.

“Why did you want to join this club? I mean I know you didn’t come willingly but what made you accept our offer?” I puffed my cheeks, blowing them out after a moment. “It’s a long story but to cut it short, I met someone while I was on a trip at the beach. We connected so much. But we didn’t get each other’s names, or numbers, anything that’ll lead us back to each other once we parted ways.” I chuckled to myself, running a hand down my face.

“And I simply felt that I couldn’t be mindlessly searching for him without anything to lead on. I was wasting time, waiting for someone that’ll never come back. I guess I just wanted to join to forget.” I raised my shoulders up, the blanket covering half my face i. doing so. I would’ve cried and broke down if I were to tell the story in full. I was shocked at myself for not even breaking a tear or cracking my voice.

“How were you guys dumb enough not to exchange numbers? Even names! Isn’t that a basic thing to know about someone you just met?” Chenle asked, sounding concerned and intruiged as if wanting to know more about the whole ordeal. I laughed, shaking my head, thinking about how ridiculous it is going to sound out of my mouth.

“I don’t know how to explain exactly. But I guess we made that silent agreement to stay as strangers as a way for us to be who we want to be in front of the other without being judged one bit. We didn’t know each other’s backgrounds, so whatever we wanted to portray to the other was what the other got to see. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“But we showed, so much of ourselves to each other. Our relationship grew so deep in the span of two months. He was like... a familiarly unfamiliar stranger. If that makes any sense.” I moved all my down to fall on one shoulder, combing my hair with my fingers as I pursed my lips into a thin line.

I suddenly realised that we were in those “deep late night talk” vibes. It felt somewhat comforting, having a place where I could just let it all out. They made me feel safe and secured, everyone nodding their heads and letting my words sink in. “That’s a much more deep reason than what any of us have.” Haechan whispered, everyone nodding their heads firmly with affirmation.

“Well I can’t be dwelling on the past forever.” I smiled, one that I didn’t have to force out. “What time do you guys’ classes start tomorrow?” I asked with a raised brow of curiosity. “We all start in the afternoon.” Jisung suddenly gasped, making everyone’s heads turn to him. “Can we have a sleepover since we’re all here and cozy?” Jisung’s face lit up in such an adorable manner that made me laugh softly.

“Should we?” Jeno asked copying the smile I had on my face while we all exchanged looks. “I don’t mind. I have an eleven am lecture but I can go back to my dorm before then.” Jisung clapped his hands in excitement, shaking his body around happily. “Great!”

And that’s what we ended up doing. We kept up with the late night conversation, talking about anything and everything, going deep with our emotions and pouring it all out in our circle to be kept within us and us only. I was surprised at how much they shared with me despite it being my first day in the club but I liked that I was being trusted, it made me feel important. Eventually all of us slowly drifted off to sleep. But Jeno was wide awake. He couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the girl that had her head thrown back lazily as she snored softly in her sleep. With folded arms, his eyes narrowed down on her intensely, deep in thought.

“How am I going to tell him if it is what I think it is...?” Jeno whispered ever so softly, almost inaudible to himself. His head was spinning, countless of thoughts running through his mind. He was in a daze, not sure of what to do as if sandwiched between two options that he so desperately want to remove himself out of but can’t, for his best friend.

Digging deeper, he began to wonder what would be the aftermath of the different options he had laid out in front of him. This only sent him further down into the loophole of contemplation and confusion, not to mention the fact that he might be late for classes now due to staying up this late.

Morning came. I woke up, eyes half opened and just barely awake. I looked at the time on my phone. 9:05. Perfect amount of time for me to head back and get ready before class. I looked around, the room still dark due to the fact that there was little to no sunlight pssing through the cracks of the door. I slid myself out of the couch slowly and carefully. While trying go shimmy myself through the boys, I noticed a post it on Jeno’s shoulder. I leaned in, squinting my eyes to get them to focus.

“Wake me up before you head out, thanks.” My eyes flickered back and forth from the note and to Jeno who was sleeping peacefully. I puckered my lips, poking his shoulder gently. “Jeno? Wake up?” I urged with uncertainty. Jeno was quick to shoot his eyes open, glancing sideways before squinting his eyes to get his focus on me. “Thanks.” He whispered, sitting up and snatching the post-it from his arm to crumple it and throw it out in the dustbin.

“You could’ve woken up way later.” I said. Jeno hummed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I didn’t have the best sleep last night. Was scared that I’ll be late for class.” Jeno smiled softly at me, a tired but sincere smile. “Have a good day at class.” I bid him goodbye with the downshift of my head, exiting the play room and coming out of the common room to the basement.

Just as I was walking, I had my eyes glued on the floor. But I saw a figure speed walked pass. I glanced over my shoulder, the figure disappearing in a flash as they took a turn and entered the play room. I stopped for a moment, taking slow steps backwards till I reach the door, eyes squinting as I tried to think about who the person was. I peeked my head ever so slightly, not being able to get a clear look due to the darkness. However, I could tell it was a guy wearing a loose hoodie and sweatpants. Having his hood on, his identity was completely concealed from the world’s view.

“Jaemin? What are you doing here. Go sleep at-” A slam of the door was heard right after, cutting Jeno’s words off entirely with the room falling silent again. I blinked my eyes rapidly. “That was Jaemin?” I asked myself, slowly walking in the direction I was headed before.

In the play room, Jaemin dropped himself face first into the couch that was empty now that she’s gone. Jeno pushed Jaemin’s leg to give him space to sit at the edge. “Why’re you here? I told you to sleep in your dorm where it’s comfortable-”

“I just wanted to sleep with you guys here.” Jaemin cut the other’s words quickly with a mutter. Jeno rolled his eyes, looking at how Jaemin had his hood up so much that it was covering half of his face. “You do know that _____ just left, right? Didn’t you see her on your way here?” Jaemin gave a light shrug, hugging himself with his arms wrapped around his torso.

“_____? Note taken. I genuinely didn’t care enough to notice.” Jaemin replied with much ignorance. Jeno clicked his tongue, shaking his head at his friend’s behaviour. “Jaemin, she’s a new member. At least talk to her soon. Also...” Jeno began, making Jaemin look to him slowly with uncertainty. One word from Jeno and he knows it’s be something serious. “You obviously won’t believe me but...”

“I think she’s the one.” Jeno whispered as he stared at Jaemin, their eyes locking its contact with each other. The air between them was nothing but silence, Jaemin resonated Jeno’s words ever so carefully in his mind, making sure he heard that correctly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one can be her.” Jaemin shot back with full denial, refusing to believe Jeno.

“But Jae-”

“Please, don’t talk about her. My heart can’t bear it at all.” Jaemin’s eyes grew soft with his words. Jeno could tell that he was breaking, slowly and silently. As much as he wants to help Jaemin, he can’t do anything if he refuses it, shutting the world out and dealing with it by himself. It was big enough of a surprise that Jaemin shared what happened with Jeno. He couldn’t possibly ask for more.

“Alright. But I’ll be saying ‘told you so’ once you meet her. That I know for sure.” Jeno slouched into the couch more, closing his eyes and wanting to rest them before class later in the afternoon while Jaemin was already asleep and snoring softly.

However, despite Jaemin’s eyes being closed, his mind was wide awake with his gears turning in his head. She can’t possibly be in this college. It couldn’t have been her that he walked past mindlessly moments ago. For some reason, he wanted to fully denial it. He didn’t want to believe Jeno at all. But how could he not? Jeno’s his best friend so why would he even lie? What was the reason for Jaemin’s strong delusion? The longer he thought, the more he realised that it was maybe the fact that he was too afraid to face her if she were to ever stand in front of him. Who knows what could have happened to someone you didn’t see in years? People change, and Jaemin was afraid as to how she did.

I wasn’t over at the play room everyday. But if I was, there’d always be someone there for me to hang out with. It was only during the weekends when the whole group would gather together and spend the day free of worries to escape from their realities. Two weeks have passed, and I have yet to encounter the Jaemin that everyone kept worrying over. I was holding in my curiosity for far too long.

“Hey, guys?” I asked after placing a card down. We were playing Uno. I nudged on Mark who was sitting beside me, telling him to place a card. Everyone turned their heads to me, some humming while others had their brows raised. “When can I meet Jaemin? I’m getting quite impatient.” I said with a frown on my face, hearing Mark slamming his card down and shouting, “Plus four, Renjun!” Renjun groaned, sliding one card at a time off the center stack. “He should be here any minute now.” “What do you mean?”

“We sorta guessed that on top of his busy schedule he seems to be avoiding you. Not sure why but we had to lie that you weren’t here so that he’ll come.” Haechan shrugged, it was now his turn, putting a card down. I leaned back slightly, stretching out my back since we’ve been sitting here for hours playing different board games.

“Uno!” Just when Chenle shouted, the door flung open, our heads shooting to the direction. I couldn’t believe what stood at the doorframe. “Jaemin there you are!” Jisung wanted to run up to him but Jaemin pushed him away lightly.

I was met with his eyes. I was in too much of a shock that my mind went blank. I wasn’t able to process any of this. It’s as if time stopped the moment we locked eyes. He’s in front of me, the stranger from the beach. Many emotions began to flood my mind. It was a mix of everything. Happiness, fear, anxiousness, confusion. He’s right in front of my eyes, yet he looked so different. He had jet black hair, his style completely changed too. He had a stoic face, not like the bright and cheerful one I’ve always seen.

“So you’re Jaemin...?”

“_____...”

Jaemin took wobbly steps back, his pupils shaking with his lips quievering as he ran right out of the door. Jeno blinked his eyes rapidly and instantly chased after his best friend. The room was filled with silence, everyone’s eyes still at the door as I was still frozen stiff from whatever that just happened. It went by too fast. My blank expression didn’t show emotions that were overflowing in my small mind.

Outside, Jaemin was running as fast as he could, wanting to not belive whatever he had just seen. She was there. She was in the same room. It took him a matter of seconds to see that she hasn’t changed. He didn’t need time to look at her to know that. But that wasn’t why Jaemin was running away.

“Wait! Jaemin!” Jeno reached for Jaemin’s wrist and forcefully turned him around. “What is going on with you?!” Jeno asked, concern imbued into his tone.

“What do you think, Jeno?! She’s in the fucking room. And the reason why I joined this club was to get over her. Now you’re telling me she’s in the same club which whole purpose is to not fall in love?! H-How do you think I could even stay in that god damn room without breaking at the sight of her? I told you before. I fucking fell in love with her. And seeing her after two years, it just makes me want to fall and melt into the floor since I can’t bare to face up to her after suffering for so long at her absence next to me, okay? I just... It’s too much to handle.”

Tears were pricking Jaemin’s eyes, but for the sake of his pride, he wanted to claim that not a single one fell, releasing Jeno’s grip on him and running. He didn’t know where, all he thought about was to continue running. He couldn’t stand still, he had to do something. And that something was to run away, not wanting to accept that he has to bear all the feelings and everything that comes with having to see her more often, especially in a club where falling in love was forbidden, having it to be the whole reason for the club being made in the first place.

[subspencer]

imagine teasing little baby spence in the car. Like the teams SUV bro. maybe you wore a top that did your body some favors, and maybe it’s a v-neck or a scoop neck. maybe you wore pants that make your ass look . and the way you’re driving,,, the focus you have, the confidence you display, the way your hand grips the wheel, it just has him unable to keep his eyes off you. he tries, of course, but his eyes keep drifting back over to you and your body. you see this out of the corner of your eye and see him shuffling and shifting and squirming, but you try to ignore it. you two have been sent to the precinct to start a geographical profile. you have things to do. but he just keeps staring and squirming so you finally hit him with “everything okay, pretty boy?” and he was so preoccupied with how you look and your demeanor that he didn’t even think about the fact that you might be able to see him or that he wasn’t being subtle. and so suddenly he’s just sputtering trying to come up with a good reason to have been staring like he was. He can’t even come up with something before the two of you have arrived at the precinct. however, by the way he was staring and squirming, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what it is he wants.

you make an effort throughout the day to create unnecessary contact. asking him to pass you a pen and sliding your hand over his fingers before taking it. resting your hand on his shoulder to look at the map from behind him. maybe you even tell him he’s got an eyelash on his cheek and “wipe it off” for him (spoiler alert, no eyelash). you spend the whole time getting him all pent up and frustrated. when the night rolls around hotch calls you two from the field and tells you two to head to the hotel for the night.

the drive is silent for the first few minutes but you feel his eyes on you. you decide the two of you have time so you’re gonna put on a show for him. you stretch your body out and let out a little sigh that conveniently could be a moan in a different context. you shift your hips around a little bit. you stretch your neck and let out something maybe a little closer to a real moan. you hear spence let out an involuntary whimper and when you look over his head is in his hands. you look down and see a pretty prominent bulge in his pants, so you decide to take matters into your hands and turn off to find some abandoned back road. he notices and asks why you turned there, but you just stay silent until you find a spot to pull over and turn on the emergency lights and maybe even the police lights, just to make sure nobody bugs you or the car. you look over at him and tell him to be honest with you and tell you what he wants. obvious answers scream through his head but all he can do is blush and avoid eye contact. you can see you won’t get anywhere like this so you take his chin and gently tilt his head so he’s looking into your eyes. you tell him if he wants you to take care of that little problem he’s got for him, he needs to get out of the car and into the backseat, or if he’d prefer to pretend none of this ever happened, he can sit right there and they’ll drive off and never breathe another word of it.

his eyes go wide, and he hesitates because he’s not sure if you’re being genuine or if this is just to mess with him, but as he looks into your eyes he realizes this is for real. as soon as he confirms that he’s not getting played he rushes to undo his seatbelt and scrambles into the back. you follow his actions, far calmer than him, ofc, and you make sure to lock the car once you’re both inside in the back together. you go to touch his neck, and he leans into your touch with a soft sigh. you move to straddle him and press soft kisses on his face, and ask him if everything you’re doing is okay, and all he can do is nod vigorously. you tell him that if at any point he wants to stop he just needs to say it. he breathes out a soft “I won’t” and looks into your eyes, and something about that just makes you go feral. you start to kiss his lips with a hunger and lust, starting to tour his body with your hands as you feel him submit to you. he kisses back like the sweet touch starved boy he is, running his hands up and down your sides. you pull off your clothes from the waist up and tell him he can touch you however he’d like before you dive back in to kiss him. his hands are immediately on your chest. you arch your back and lean into his touch, feeling his thumbs rubbing back and forth over your nipples, and your lips are forced to disconnect from his by the moan that leaves your body. he begins to beg, “please, more” and you’re more than happy to oblige.

you slip your hands between your bodies to undo a few buttons on his shirt before you let them travel to his pants, which you unbutton and unzip so you can palm him through just his underwear. the way he moans and ruts into your hand is such a turn on, and you know you have to have him inside you. you stop touching him to start to wrestle your pants and underwear down and he hooks his fingers into the waistband to help push them down and off your legs as you lean into him for support to get them off completely. he stares at your body as you shift his pants down just enough so that you can push his underwear off and free his dick from the straining fabric. you take one of his hands off of you and guide it between the two of you and tell him to push his middle and ring finger inside of you. he’s a good boy and does as told, and it feels phenomenal, those long fingers exploring the warm, wet cavern, but that’s not their final destination. you pull his fingers out and help him drag that wetness to your clit, and tell him to rub little circles into that spot. ever eager to please, he does so, and you have to brace your hands on his chest to support yourself after the immediate jolt of pleasure, but once you’ve gotten into the groove of it, you’re on a mission. you guide his length to your entrance and sink down on him slowly, and he has to stop for a second to take in the sheer pleasure he’s experiencing in this moment. once he’s returned to his actions and you can tell he’s ready for more, you slowly begin to ride him, bouncing up and down and getting lost in the mix of it all; the sheer pleasure is overwhelming, and it is only aided by the sounds of both of your moans filling the hot air inside the car. the sound of skin slapping skin and the feeling of spencer moaning and whimpering into your neck as he feels your walls clench around him has your insides tying a knot that will soon come undone. you start to ride faster, come down harder, slipping your fingers into his hair and pulling so he’s looking at you before you lean down to leave a dark hickey right below his collarbone. you feel him twitch inside of you and know you’re both close. you tell him to rub your clit faster as you chase not just yours, but his orgasm as well. he’s dangerously good at following instructions, and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. he feels your walls begin to flutter and wraps his lips around your pebbled nipples and that throws you all the way off the cliff. your sudden orgasm triggers his, and you two ride out your highs together in absolute bliss. as you slow down to a stop, you’re both breathing heavy and leaning into one another for support. you peel yourself off and collect your underwear and pants and begin to redress yourself. as you reach for your bra and top he mutters a quick “uh.. thank you for that” as he fixes his shirt, pants, and underwear. you hit him with “anytime” as you finish putting yourself back together and exit the back of the vehicle. as you hop back in the front you back at him and ask if he plans to ride back to the hotel back there. as he exits and re-enters the SUV, you cut off the emergency lights and both of you buckle up. you drive back to the hotel in silence, and you head straight for your room with a nonchalant “goodnight spence.” he has no idea what just happened, but is thankful that it did, and even more so thankful for the eidetic memory that would allow him to remember this in perfection.

LMAO i did not mean to write a whole ass fic in your ask box i’m just Irreparably Horny™️ and once I started it just kept flowing. you are not at all obligated to post this 😂 ❤️ luh you bestie

-🍭

bestie i read this right before passing out last night so thank you for the bedtime story <3 this masterpiece must be shared i can’t believe you just got on a roll and popped the hell off like this 😩 i wish fjjxkdjsjs it take me eons to think of a single word

[peterprkrsbtch]

sapphire - part 1

Peter Parker x reader

A/N: This is some type of wish fulfillment writing for me because I like to imagine becoming a hot and badass superhero when I fall asleep and I thought other people may be entertained as well :) If you enjoy it, like or reblog to share!

REMINDER: in this story, the reader gains superpowers and I do describe the appearance of her body. i hope you know every body is a superhero body and weight does not impact your beauty at all-i just needed to show how drastic the changes were!

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, attempted kidnapping, guns/violence

The sun that came beaming through your window brightly as you opened the blinds in your room immediately brought a small smile to your face. Summer had always been your favorite season. As smart as you were, a three month break from Midtown has never sounded better. Junior year had not been easy for you.

Small goosebumps appear on your arms as you shiver when the memory of that night crosses your mind.

***

You’d been walking home after your first day of school, distracted as images of the day flicker through your mind. The first day was always exciting, new classes and people. Probably why you were too distracted to notice the man creeping up behind you until he wrapped his hands around your backpack and yanked it off of your back, making you let out a yelp of surprise.

Or, he’d tried to. Unfortunately, this dumb ass criminal didn’t know how backpack straps work and when he tugged, the straps caught around your arms and yanked you off your feet, slamming your body into your attacker with a groan.

Panic immediately clouded your mind. You’d never been mugged before. You try desperately to remember anything from the self defense class you’d taken in seventh grade. The attacker seemed surprised that your bag hadn’t slid off your body and this gave you the opportunity to scream. “Help!” You shrieked. “Somebody!” It was the middle of the day in New York and yet, the street you were walking was dead empty.

“Shut the fuck up.” The man growled in your ear and you suddenly became aware of his death grip on your arm. Before you could contemplate punching him in the face or kneeing his dick, a sharp poke on your arm made you whip your head, just in time to see a needle full of glowing blue liquid being injected into your arm by the man. He hadn’t wanted your backpack at all.

The shock you felt as you watched the unfamiliar substance enter your body was amplified at the burning sensation quickly spreading from the injection site to your whole upper arm. The man lets out a harsh laugh, and you finally turn to see his face. He did not look like a homeless man. Or a thief. The sight of his groomed beard and expensive jacket made you feel like you’d been plunged in ice. What the hell was happening?

“What did you do to me?” The sound of your voice is much stronger than you expect it to be, and it helps to ease a couple of the butterflies going mental inside your stomach. At least you didn’t sound terrified. He just lets out a low laugh and begins to drag you by your backpack towards a car parked on the opposite side of the road you hadn’t noticed until now.

“You’re coming with me.”

The burning had spread to your entire left arm and was now taking over your left shoulder. If you didn’t have adrenaline coursing through your veins due to your current situation, you would’ve been doubled over with pain. You struggle against the man’s hold on your backpack as he drags you closer to the large black SUV.

Hell no. I am not getting kidnapped today. You force yourself to calm enough to quickly think of a plan. Any plan. When the man reaches the car despite your struggling, a disgusting sneer on his face, he lets go of his grip on your arm to reach for the handle, and you take your chance to head-butt him as hard as you possibly can-letting your arms slide out of the backpack as you do.

“Ow! Get back here you little bitch!” But it’s too late. In the two seconds when the man doubles over to clutch at his head, you’d snatched your backpack from the ground where he’d let it fall and sprinted down the street. You try to tell yourself that the unbearable burning sensation now settling into your chest is from running, not from whatever the fuck he’d injected you with.

***

A loud beep, beep from the clock on your bedside table snaps you out of reminiscing on your near death experience and a large smile grows on your face. Finally it was 5 p.m, the time when your mom usually went over to her boyfriend’s apartment across town. Every night, like clockwork, since you were 13.

It used to bother you, but now the silence gives you the opportunity to do what you needed to do alone. You get up and move towards your closet as you let your mind slip into your memories again as you reminisce on the events after the attack.

***

You’d run home like hell and had never been so grateful to find that your mom had left early. Within ten minutes, the burning had spread and you were left to writhe around in pain on your bed for hours. There was no let up, no break. You knew you were going to die.

Whatever the man had injected in you was breaking apart every muscle, every atom in your body so slowly that you could feel it. Eventually, your pained screams became quieter as exhaustion began to take over. This is it. I’m really going to die. My mom is going to come home and find me like this-

Before you could finish your thought, a harsh gasp involuntarily left your mouth and you launch forward to sit up. Okay, maybe I’m not going to die. You thought as the pain suddenly ceases. You slowly bring your hands up to stare at them, scared that the pain will return. Just as you’re about to let out a breath of relief, it hits you again.

And it’s so much worse. The burning sensation shoots through your body, and every broken muscle and molecule felt as though it was being bound together again. The minutes bleed together as exhaustion and pain take over your body.

***

Looking back, you still have no idea what was in the injection. All you know is what happened because of it.

***

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

BEEP, BEEP.

The incessant beeping of your stupid alarm wakes you from quite possibly the weirdest dream you’ve ever had. You’ve never had pain in a dream feel so vivid before, and the memory alone draws your body inwards, hugging your arms in for comfort.

Your arms. Hold on.

They didn’t feel like this last night. You glance down at your skin, the shadow of your blanket making it hard to see. You rip the covers off and storm over to your full length mirror-and all you can do is let out a gasp. I’m going crazy.

With shaking hands, you grab your phone and unlock it, scrolling until you find a mirror selfie you had taken at the pool over summer, just two weeks ago. You glance at the photo, then back up at the mirror. Then at the photo, then the mirror. Photo, mirror, photo.

A shocked laugh rips through your lips as you stare at the photo of yourself. Smooth skin and curves. A couple extra pounds of baby fat you had yet to lose, a spot or three of acne on your forehead. You weren’t an extraordinarily insecure person, but you were a teenage girl and a couple of those things had bugged you but-

Your eyes flicker up to the mirror. You run your hands along your arms. You used to describe them as flabby, but you can feel and see the toned, tight skin. You move your eyes to your boobs. Were they bigger? They definitely looked bigger.

Any “baby fat” you carried had seemingly disappeared overnight. You slowly lift your shirt and let your jaw drop, running your hands over your small waist, not missing the muscle you can feel under your skin. Your skin was perfectly clear and your hair and lashes both seemed longer and healthier.

When you were younger and more naive, you’d hoped puberty would involve waking up one morning looking like a Victoria’s Secret model. But that was stupid. Things like that don’t happen, right?

Slowly, the events of yesterday began to register in your mind. The attack, the injection, the pain. A million questions flooded your mind. The most prominent being what the actual fuck??

“Y/n? You almost ready to leave for school?” Your mom’s voice rings out into your silent room as she knocks on your bedroom door.

“Yeah, Mom! Just a couple minutes.” You call out nervously, waiting until you hear her footsteps walk away from your door. You let out a curse as you race into the bathroom, the harsh lighting illuminating even more changes to your face.

Your lips were bigger, your eyes more open, and your cheekbones and jaw more defined. Fuck. If you weren’t so worried about anyone noticing your overnight transformation, you would’ve taken more time to think about the positives of this situation.

You were always shy and quiet at school, choosing a small group of people to hang around and mostly focusing on your classes. But every teenage girl dreams of being beautiful, and now you finally were. You pull your hair up to brush your teeth and wash your face faster than you ever have before, electing to ignore the fact that you should have a nasty bruise from your head-butt yesterday.

You choose to skip makeup completely, knowing it would draw more attention to your new face. You took one last look at your body in the mirror before pulling on the baggiest sweats you owned and a loose hoodie, hoping they would mask your new curves.

You had no idea how you were supposed to hide this all year.

***

You smiled as you remember how silly you’d acted the next day. You were overly paranoid, covering your face with your hoodie as much as you could and choosing to sit alone in the library rather than at your usual table. No one questioned you, not once.

You had felt a pang of loneliness at first, knowing that no one at your school even cared enough to notice the obvious change had hurt just a bit, but it made dealing with the powers easier.

***

You’d first noticed it on the walk to school. It was barely September and the summer sun was still coming down on the city. This paired with your heavy layers of clothing and the long walk to school would normally leave you slightly breathless. As you arrived at the school feeling more energized and alive than ever, you noticed you’d gotten there in a fourth of your normal time without even trying.

You next noticed it in gym, when the daily pushups the teachers forced you all to do every year were suddenly easy. Effortless. As soon as the final bell rang, you ran home within minutes without feeling winded at all and winced as you threw your door open, nearly ripping it off it’s hinges.

Something else was definitely going on. Your appearance was not the only thing that seemed to go through an upgrade. You said a quick hello to your mom before running up to your room.

For the first time since you woke up that morning, you relaxed once your door was closed and locked. Your shoulders release as you sink to your bed, dropping your head into your hands. You try to recall anything you’ve read about people being totally changed after some sort of injection.

Your heart sinks. Captain America jumps to mind. The Winter Soldier, Wanda Maximoff and her dead brother. They’d all been injected.

You bite your lip and glance at a book sitting on your bedside table. You straighten up and thrust your hands towards the book, trying to make it move. Unsurprisingly, nothing happens. You close your eyes and breath out a small breath of relief. Ok so I’m beautiful now and have great endurance, at least I’m not a superhero. You let yourself relax slightly, your eyes still closed. Now you feel dumb for throwing your hands around like some kind of knock off Scarlet Witch.

When you open your eyes, your blood runs cold. The book is floating in front of you, a blue glow surrounding it. Slowly, you raise your, now shaking, hands again towards the book until they flash with the same blue and it launches towards you, the force of it making you rock back as you catch it in your hands.

Well. Fuck.

***

After that, you were thankful that no one had noticed anything out of the ordinary. You bite down a smile as you remember the first few months after, thinking about how much you’d changed since then.

***

You spent nearly every night for weeks studying every superhero fight video you could find on youtube and practicing the moves alone in your empty house, over and over.

It didn’t take much for you to perfect them as your new body seemed to be built for this kind of shit. Black Widow was your favorite to watch, and you made sure to spend extra time working through her signature moves, letting the flips, kicks, and punches become muscle memory.

You spent time practicing your real powers as well, though those seemed to come to you naturally. After that first delay with the book, it had almost felt like second nature to lift up the heaviest objects in your house with just a wave of the hand, but still, you practiced. Over and over and over. You quickly learned you could move people as well, namely yourself. Flying over New York in the middle of the night was something that would always leave you breathless.

Once winter settled over New York, you decided you were finally ready to try and use your abilities for good. You had near perfect control over your “magic” and you were pretty sure you’d spent more hours in the past month punching the air than sleeping.

You spent all day Sunday bent over the dusty sewing machine you dug out of a shelf in your kitchen closet. The trip to Joann’s reminded you of your mother teaching a younger you how to sew, though you two never bought yards of spandex to make a skin tight suit.

It had taken a couple minutes for you to remember how to use the machine, but you were extremely proud of the final product. You’d made a simple skin tight black suit with a zipper up the front and a mask to cover most of your face, but you figured no one could recognize you by just your mouth.

Once you finished the last hem on your face mask, you took the suit and the mask and hid them in your closet next to a pair of black combat boots. You put the dusty machine away and finally made your way into your bathroom, glancing nervously at the box on the counter.

Although you had exactly zero friends at Midtown, you had grown up with some of these kids and you couldn’t risk one of them recognizing your hair color if they saw you in your superhero suit and the box advertising temporary spray on hair color seemed to be the perfect solution.

You take the small can out of the box and spray blonde-ish highlights into your hair and brush it through until your long hair is shades lighter than your natural color and you’re happy with the results.

Your hands shook as you pulled on your suit, then your mask, and finally, the black boots. You move to your mirror and nervously give yourself a glance, only to be pleasantly surprised. You really do look like a superhero, even more so when you will your hands to glow blue with your powers.

***

That night, you learned that you had severely underestimated yourself. You thought memories of your own attack would flash before your eyes every time you knocked down a criminal, but it didn’t.

Every time you would wrap your thighs around someone’s neck to drag them to the ground you felt strong and every time the person you just saved would begin to thank you aggressively, you knew you made the right decision to help people.

You kept your guard, and your hood, up during the school days but your months of training and now your late night rescues, had caused a spike in your confidence. After a particularly hard 18 vs. 1 fight in which your zipper had gotten yanked down a bit, you just left it. It looked better like that anyway.

You wished you had someone to show the new you. You used to be so unsure of yourself, and now because of a seemingly random attack, you had the ability to help people. It definitely felt good to be doing something good.

Unfortunately, your endeavors started to become sensationalized. New York was obsessed with superheroes, you knew this. But you never thought people would start paying attention to you.

You should’ve known better. A girl with enhanced curves in a skin tight suit, flying around the city with glowing blue hands and fighting crime with her front zipper pulled down, and you thought you could remain invisible in the media too?

Luckily for you, the spotlight was cast upon another new superhero around the same time-a Spiderman. Once he entered the superhero scene just weeks after yourself, you noticed the articles you’d previously seen sexualizing you and your costume turned into articles about the two of you instead. If only those reporters knew you were 17.

You were thankful for him even though you’d never met him, and your two names “Spiderman and Sapphire” were often used in the same headlines to discuss you two newcomers.

At first you hated the nickname the media gave you simply because of the increased attention, but you learned to love it. It was nice to see people appreciating what you were doing, even though every camera that was ever pointed your way made you anxious to protect your identity.

Ever since your first winter night spent fighting crime, you’d quickly fallen into a pattern. School with your eyes glued to your desk the whole time, sweats and hoodies concealing your body, then homework until your mom leaves, then go out and help your city.

Your fighting has improved to the point that you almost prefer hand to hand combat rather than using your powers. On especially slow nights, you’ve let yourself drag out a fight with some bank robbers or kidnappers just to entertain yourself.

It was your escape. In your suit, with your face covered and your hair thick with the lightening spray, was the only time you felt like yourself. Really yourself.

But you had a plan to change that. As easy as it had been to lay low throughout the last year at school, you’d had enough. You wanted more. So you had a plan. A new body and face overnight is impossible, but over three months? Totally plausible.

You were excited for three months with nothing to do but go out as Sapphire, and you knew these few months were going to be the calm before the storm if you really decided to go back to Midtown as the new you.

God, enough with the reminiscing. You told yourself, but you do allow yourself to feel pride at how much you’d matured from your first day of school this year to your last as you tug on your familiar suit and mask.

***

You glance down at the buildings beneath you, eyes silently scanning every dark alley and corner for trouble. Your hands glow blue as you fly yourself gracefully through the sky. Suddenly, loud sirens and screams sound from beneath you and you look down to see 8 large men climbing into a bank as they smashed the windows.

You quickly fly yourself down and through the hole behind the men as they point guns towards the only two people in the bank, a janitor and a man you assume is the manager. “Give us the fucking money.” One of the men growls and the others laugh menacingly at their friend’s threat.

The manager notices you standing behind the men and his eyes widen, causing the men to start to turn towards you. You grab the gun out of one of their hands using your powers and smirk at the oh, shit look on their faces. Before you can make a move to knock the man nearest you off his feet, a web snaps through the broken window and snatches the gun from his hands before you can blink.

Spiderman comes swinging through the opening, landing gracefully. “What’s going on here, fellas?” He asks, and you can’t help but smirk at the sound of his voice. The two of you seemed to live similar lives, and yet this was your first time meeting him.

The white eyes of his mask flicker from the men, frozen with fear, towards you, and his eyes grow with recognition and maybe shock? Hard to tell with the mask. He opens his mouth to say something else, but one of the men still holding guns raises it and fires towards Spiderman without a second of hesitation.

You raise your hand quickly, stopping the bullet in mid-air and everyone around you stares at the bullet suspended in mid-air, your glowing blue hand outstretched, almost as if you were catching it. Spiderman’s eyes widen even more. “Holy shit.”

You smile to yourself and clench your hand into a fist, letting the bullet crumble to the ground in dust. “Nice try.” You say to the man. “But you’re getting on my nerves.” You turn towards the 8 men in front of you, 5 still holding guns. You move your hand to face the men, and with a sweeping motion, the 5 guns are yanked from their hands to suspend far above their heads, where they couldn’t reach.

You can’t help a small laugh as one of the men tries to jump up and grab it. You turn towards Spiderman who’s standing there with his mouth wide open. “Sorry if I stole your moment.” You say genuinely. You had no doubt that he could’ve taken care of this himself, but you had gotten here first.

“Are you kidding?” He nearly squeaked. “That was amazing, oh my god! I can’t believe we haven’t met until now.” Your cheeks blaze slightly under your mask from his praise, you’ve never had a superhero compliment you before. You adjust your focus back to the men quickly, who seem to be thinking of a way to run.

Your eyes meet Spidey’s again. “You wanna web ‘em up?” He nods excitedly, his eyes finally breaking from yours as he jumps into action. As impressed as he was by you, you couldn’t help but watch in awe as he swings around the room and with a thwick, he webs all of the men together in a cocoon, hanging upside down from the chandelier of the bank ceiling.

He swings himself one last time to land next to you again. “Cool.” You say before you can even realize your mouth is open. “I mean, you’re not too bad yourself.” He bows his head a bit, seeming shy even though it was a half-compliment to cover up your embarrassment.

“Sorry to bust in on your fight,” He says, glancing around the room towards the two terrified employees staring at the two of you in shock. “Not a lot happening tonight, and I didn’t know you were here.”

“Ugh, I know.” You agree. “Not to complain about less crime, but our jobs have been a little bit too easy this past week.” His mask crinkles as he smiles.

“We could...work together sometime if you wanted too, of course.” He says nervously, nearly stuttering on his words. “It’s just, you’re really good and you seem really cool and I-”

You interrupt his word vomit. “Of course I want to! I’ve been wondering when we would meet.” His eyes move from staring at the eye holes in your mask down to your lips when you smile. “How’s tomorrow?”

“How’s right now?” You don’t think your smile can get wider. “One sec.” He holds up a finger before quickly running over to the two bank workers, who thank you both over and over and then they both hugged him. You were wrong, your smile grows and remains goofy and big as he runs back over to you. “Let’s go.”

That night you found out that your view of the city is 100 times better when you can also see a red and blue suit swinging from building to building out of the corner of your eye.

[seita]

— little miss perfect | tamaki amajiki (m.)

pairing: tamaki amajiki/f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 𝟼,𝟷𝟻𝟷

tags: forbidden love!au, high society!au, rich!au, arranged marriage!au

note: i posted this a little bit ago but tumblr took it out of the tags so i had to delete it ): i hope it doesn't do it again...

— the life you lived was one of rules; who you hung out with, what you ate, how you sat at the dinner table. nothing was under your control. but when you find yourself falling in love with a man you shouldn't, you find yourself desperate to break the rules.

masterlist | rules

© all content belongs to hshinso 2020. do not modify or repost.  

You sighed, letting your eyes wander around the ballroom packed with pretentious people wearing expensive gowns and suits. The chatter was too loud to hear even your own thoughts and you scowled, feeling a headache coming on. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the familiar looming figure of Enji Todoroki making his way in your direction. Before he could reach you, however, you slipped between the numerous people to make your way to the bar that was set up on the opposite end of the room. 

Glancing over your shoulder, you let out a sigh of relief when you realized the man wasn’t following you. 

The bastard had been trying since you turned 18 to arrange a marriage between you and his youngest son Shoto Todoroki ― even though the two of you were vehemently against it. But the man didn’t know how to take no for an answer and proceeded to harass you every chance he got, which was typically at functions such as the one you were currently attending. 

You had long since lost sight of your parents, not that you cared. Typically they would keep you by their side to show you off and introduce you to potential suitors in hopes of making connections through marriage. 

The very idea made you scoff. 

As you took the drink offered from the bartender, you gave him a soft thanks before turning around. Spinning on your heel, you let out a sharp gasp when you bumped face-first into a firm chest. The jolt caused your drink to slosh over the rim and onto your hand. 

You cursed, stepping back as you looked up at the wide-eyed man before you. He wore a rapidly reddening blush that burnt all the way up to his cute elf ears. 

“I-I’m so sorry!” he cried, reaching into his pocket to fish out a handkerchief, taking your glass from your hand to quickly wipe the mess on your skin away, “I didn’t realize I was standing so close, I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s okay…” you whispered, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth at the sight of him.

He was tall with indigo hair that stuck up messily on the back of his head. Typically such a thing would be frowned upon ― people in high society desire to look their best, after all. Despite that, he wore a perfectly tailored tux and an expensive gold watch on his wrist. As he gazed down at his task of cleaning your hand, you noticed how long his eyelashes were as they brushed against his cheeks with every blink. 

“There...I think I got it all,” he breathed, tucking the handkerchief away into his pocket without a care that it was wet with wine. At least it was white wine and not red, you mused, “You should probably wash your hands or it’ll dry your skin out or something.”

You raised a brow, not sure if such a thing could really happen. Still, you smiled and thanked him, breezing past him to find a bathroom. You still smelled like alcohol now so you needed to wash it off anyway. 

When you returned to the ballroom, there was no sign of the attractive indigo hair colored man anywhere. Part of you was disappointed but you brushed it off as something silly. No point in pining after a man you spoke 10 words with after all. 

You brushed off that chance meeting, not even paying it a second thought. In fact, you were certain you were either never going to meet him again or that you wouldn’t remember him even if you did. 

It was wishful thinking on your end, however, because at yet another pointless high-society function, you caught sight of the messy haired man once more.

“Hey,” you greeted, making him turn away from the conversation he was having with a pretty periwinkle haired girl and tall, blonde man. 

“Oh, it’s you,” he smiled, gaze softening from the guarded look he held when you’d greeted him. 

From that look alone, you knew he was from a prominent family similar to yours. The type of family where you had to hold your tongue and be on guard for any shit that might come your way. It was an unpleasant, stressful existence. 

“It’s me,” you smiled, nursing your glass with two hands, unsure of where to go from there, “I um...wondered what your name might be?”

He looked surprised for a second before smiling an ever-so-gentle smile, “Call me Tamaki.”

“I’m ______,” you introduced, reaching forward to shake his hand. 

His grip was firm and practiced but his hand was a bit calloused from what you didn’t know. It still felt nice. His hand was bigger than yours, strong with long longers. 

“These are my friends Nejire Hado and Mirio Togata,” he introduced, motioning to them. 

You smiled in greeting, recognizing only the Hado name. Her family owned one of the biggest shipping companies in Japan. You wondered what Mirio and Tamaki did. 

“Can I ask what your last name is?” Nejire asked. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer, you heard your name being called. You felt your blood freeze in your veins. You cringed, your distaste clearly written on your face to the three people standing in front of you.

“Mr. Todoroki,” you beamed fakely as you turned around, “How nice to see you!”

“My Shoto is looking for you,” he grumbled, arms crossed over his chest as he glared down at you.

“I doubt that,” you breathed.

“What was that?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“I said that’s great, I’ll go find him!” you bowed briefly before brushing past him to disappear into the crowd. Looking over your shoulder, you rolled your eyes when you were finally out of sight. 

What a pain in the ass that man was. 

-

You hummed as you swung your shopping bags by your side, enjoying the setting sun beaming on your skin. It was a rare day you got to have completely for yourself with no escorts or stupid functions to be seen. In celebration, you went out shopping with your parent’s credit card �� not that they’d ever even notice. 

“Excuse me!” a soft voice called from behind. 

On reflex, you paused and turned around, eyes wide as you caught the familiar form of Tamaki jogging towards you. He seemed surprised as he stopped in front of you, realizing who you were. 

“You…” you mumbled, “You’re not stalking me or something right?”

Immediately his eyes burst red, shaking his head wildly, “N-No of course not! Why would you think that? It’s just coincidence I swear―”

“I’m kidding!” you laughed, patting his shoulder to calm him down, “What’s up?”

“You dropped this back there,” he sighed, scratching the back of his head almost nervously as he held up your folded handkerchief.

“Oh! Thank you!” you beamed, taking it from his hands.

There was a beat of silence, both of you standing there awkwardly unsure of what to say or what to do. 

“Hey, you wanna get dinner or something?” you asked suddenly, obviously startling him.

“Wh-What?”

You shrugged, “You don’t have to. I figure since we’re both here, it’s almost dinner time...why not?”

He was quiet for a second, thinking it over before smiling with a soft nod, “Sure. Lead the way.”

“Oh, a gentleman,” you teased, enjoying the way his ears turned red in response. 

He was a cute thing, wasn’t he? Shy and soft spoken yet still holding a strong disposition due to no doubt being raised in high society. 

By the time the two of you were seated in the fancy restaurant, the sun had dipped beneath the horizon. The sky was cast a deep orange that was rapidly vanishing by the minute. The bright chandelier in the center of the room cast a relaxing light over the both of you. You moved automatically to fold the napkin over your lap with your hands folded over it. Tamaki moved the same way, flashing you a sheepish smile once the two of you were left in silence. 

What you planned to be a nice, pleasant dinner ended up in a way you hadn’t expected. 

In his bed. 

His hand felt like heaven wrapped around your throat, giving just the smallest bit of pressure that made your head rush. He stared down at you with heated eyes, lip tucked between his teeth as he listened to the way you whimpered beneath him. You squeezed around his cock so tight he swore every time you came you almost took him with you. 

Sweet Tamaki turned out to be one of the best lays of your life. 

Little did you know, it was that little tumble in the sheets that would send your entire way of life ablaze. 

You had no idea how it happened; what went from a casual one-night stand grew into weekly outings together to have lunch or dinner, sometimes breakfast if you could manage it eventually morphing into what you could only describe as love. 

Whenever you laid your eyes on the messy-haired man, your heart raced and you felt a smile that you had no hope of fighting grow across your face. He seemed to be in the same boat, always having a deep need to touch you ― holding your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your forehead, or simply holding you in his lap. 

The night you brought him to one of the famous, high-society functions as your date was the biggest mistake of your life. 

“Are you nervous?” he asked teasingly, squeezing your hand in his larger one. 

You beamed up at him, shaking your head, “No, of course not!” In fact, it was the opposite ― you were more than a little excited to finally reveal your relationship. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought about the possibility of it being something that could end badly. Your parents hadn’t known you were seeing anyone, it’s not like you were close enough to them to actually reveal much personal information about yourself. 

Usually whenever you did, it turned into a lecture that ended with you crying into your pillow feeling like shit with their harsh words echoing in your mind.

However, that night, you found yourself torn from Tamaki’s grasp. Your parents held the most hateful scowls you’d ever seen them wear as they regarded Tamaki’s parents who glared in the exact same manner.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” your mother hissed, yanking on your arm to pull you away from your boyfriend.

“Wh-What?!” you cried, struggling to get out of her iron grip, “Let go!”

“Don’t make a scene,” she hissed, tugging you harsher.

“We’ll talk when we get home,” you father hummed, voice colder than usual. 

You glanced over your shoulder to see Tamaki being dragged in the opposite direction with a similar look of despair on his face as he watched you vanish from sight ― the both of you locked in a state of confusion.

Once home, the air around both of your parents was terrifying. Instinctively, you sat on the couch in the lounge with your head down as the two of them paced back and forth, collecting their thoughts.

“How dare you make a fool of us like that, _____?!” your mother cried, making you flinch.

“I-I’m sorry but I don’t understand,” you muttered, keeping your voice meek to keep from angering them further.

Your father scoffed, “Do you even know who that boy was?!”

“Tamaki Amajiki…” you replied quickly.

“Are you dating him or something?” your mother grilled, hands on his hips as she halted her pacing in front of you.

You nodded, not seeing a point in lying, “W-We’ve been together for about 6 months now…”

Your father scoffed, “You are never to see that boy again, do you understand me?”

“But why?” you asked, finally looking up.

Your parents looked bewildered, “You know we have nothing to do with that damn Amajiki family, ______. You are never to speak to their kind again.”

With that, they both stormed out of the room, leaving you more confused than before. You didn’t know that you were supposed to have nothing to do with them. It wasn’t like your parents told you anything, your older brother was the one in line to take over the family business so you rarely ever even got word of the goings on behind the scenes. 

Your heart was aching as you went to bed that night, not sure what it was you were meant to do. You had texted Tamaki, seen he read your text but he never responded. It only made you hurt that much more and before you knew it, tears were dampening your pillow. 

You had just about cried yourself to sleep when the sound of your balcony doors clicking open startled you upright.

“It’s just me,” Tamaki whispered, closing the doors as quietly as possible, drawing the curtains so no one could see in.

“Tamaki!” you whimpered, bolting out of bed to wrap your arms around his middle. He immediately wrapped his own around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “They said I can’t see you anymore!”

His eyes softened, cupping your tear-stained cheeks to press a kiss against your forehead, “I know. Mine said the same to me.”

“I don’t understand why!” you whimpered, fresh tears falling down your cheeks.

He shook his head, “Our familiar apparently had...some old rivalry that turned sour.”

You scoffed, “That’s stupid. It doesn’t affect us, why should we suffer for it?”

He sighed, leading you towards the bed, “I agree. All we can do is fight it, right?”

“You mean…?” you looked hopefully at him with wide eyes and he smiled.

“I wouldn’t let something like this take you from me, _____,” he promised, moving to lay beside you, pulling the blankets over your forms, “I’ll be gone before the sun rises but for now...sleep, okay?”

You nodded, burying yourself in his chest, taking in the sweet scent you grew to adore. With his heart hammering rhythmically in your ear, you fell into a peaceful sleep you were sure you weren’t going to get that night. 

Tamaki’s effect on you was just that; a sense of security. You weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to live without it now.

Things were a bit different with you and Tamaki once you discovered you weren’t supposed to be together. It was more difficult to get away in secret, your parents for once paying actual attention to what you did. Tamaki’s were doing the same. 

You found yourself sneaking out of your window in the dead of night more than you ever thought you would. It was worth it, to see the sly grin on Tamaki’s face when you texted him to warn him you were outside. 

The two of you made it work, though. Six months blossomed into ten; the two of you edging on a whole year together.

One night, however, as he crawled onto your balcony, you could tell something was off. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked as he sat stiffly on your bed, your hand held tightly in his trembling ones. 

“______,” he sighed, head hanging low. 

Your heart ached in your chest through your anxiety. You waited for him to talk, watching the way he opened his mouth several times only to close it when he changed his mind.

“This is…” he sighed, shaking his head, “This can’t work anymore.”

Those words shattered your heart in your chest and you pulled your hand from his grasp. He didn’t fight to get it back, avoiding looking at what he knew were your tear-filled eyes. 

“Wh-What happened?” you whispered, voice trembling.

He shook his head again, “All this sneaking around...what’s it going to get us?” he stood up, his back to you, “Whether we’re together for a year or 5 years...are we going to sneak around forever? We can’t do that.”

“You’re...you’re breaking up with me?” you asked pitifully.

He hesitated for a moment before nodding, “Eventually I need to be with someone I can be with. Our parents won’t let us do that...so there isn’t a point anymore. I’m sorry, _____…”

He moved to make his way to your balcony doors again when you bolted out of bed, wrapping your arms around his middle to keep him in place. He halted, letting you sob into his back, his heart breaking at the sound. 

“Please don’t do this, Tama!” you cried, fisting his shirt, “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the only good thing I have ever gotten in my life. You know what this life is like! Everything about it is controlled and revolving around a stupid image but...with you I don’t have to worry about anything. I’ve never felt more free with anyone than I feel with you...Tamaki...please…”

Your brokenhearted confession spurred him into turning around, cupping your cheeks to pull you into a loving kiss. It made your head swim, your eyes fluttering shut as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the feeling of his arms around you.

He held you so desperately, like you would slip away from him any second. Part of you knew that that was exactly what would happen. Once the sun rose, that would be it ― he wouldn’t get to hold you in his arms ever again. 

You pushed that thought out of your head, instead choosing to slide his shirt up until he had to break away from the kiss to tug it off. 

He picked you up by the waist, spinning to deposit you on the bed. He crawled on top of you, burying his face in your neck to press soft kisses there. You angled your head back to give him all the room he needed.

He wanted so badly to mark you up, to leave you with something of his, but he couldn’t. Squeezing your eyes tight, you fought back tears as you clung to him, nails digging into his shoulders. 

He reached down, pushing the hem of your silk nightgown over your hips. Sucking in a breath, he felt his cock harden rapidly at the sight of your pretty panties. 

“You’re so pretty,” he breathed, meeting your lips for another kiss. 

You cupped the back of his head, pulling him even closer, arching your hips up to grind against him. He let out of stuttering breath, gripping your hip to urge you to grind rougher. 

“Please, Tama,” you begged, breathing ragged at the teasing pleasure you were receiving. 

“What do you need?” he breathed, a tone you knew only you got to hear. 

To everyone else, he was a timid and shy young man who had trouble maintaining eye contact for too long. But with you, being closed doors, while you shared sweet kisses and heated touches, you got a side of Tamaki no one else would get to experience. 

“I need you, please,” you begged, reaching forward to pull at his belt. 

It was obvious he had come straight to your place after being somewhere — perhaps dinner with his parents. 

He nodded, leaning back to clumsily strip himself of his pants. He stumbled a bit, making him mutter out embarrassed apologies with bright red cheeks. Soon enough, he was on you again. 

With experienced fingers, he helped strip you from your own clothes. Your nightgown came off to reveal your bare breasts, a sight Tamaki couldn't help but whimper at. 

Leaning down, he enveloped one of your perked nipples in his mouth. You tugged at his head, letting out soft sighs as he switched to the other one. Wet with his saliva, the cooler air caused them to harden even more.

Feeling impatient, you began to push your panties down your hips. Tamaki, sensing your urgency, helped pull them free of your ankles, tossing them to be lost somewhere in the darkened room. 

He cupped your cheek, bringing you in for yet another kiss. His lips were so soft, his kiss pouring every ounce of love he felt for you. His free hand found its way between your legs, parting your folds to graze over your clit. 

You gasped into his mouth, arching your hips at his teasing touch. He smiled against your lips, circling the bud until your thighs trembled before easily sliding two digits into your clenching hole. He paused, letting you adjust to the minute stretch before angling his fingertips up to hit your sweet spot. He had long since memorized your body ― every erogenous zone, every sweet spot, it was all committed to memory. 

Your body was a temple just for him and he treated it with so much care. 

You were sure you would never have anyone like Tamaki Amajiki again. The thought made your heart ache and you squeezed your eyes shut to keep from crying. 

He pulled his fingers free, holding them up to his face to see the way they glistened with your slick. Popping them in his mouth, he whimpered at your taste, wishing he could get on his knees and eat you out for this last time. 

But the way you reached between his legs to bring the tip of his cock to your entrance let him know how desperate you were for him. Not wanting to keep you waiting, he easily slipped in with your assistance. 

He sunk in to the base, let out a sharp groan as your walls squeezed him. Neither of you were willing to wait long ― he set a quick pace that brought you both great pleasure. Sweat coated your bodies and caused you to stick together. Neither of you really care, however.

You reached down to grab his hand, bringing it up to your breast. He smiled, thumbing your nipple before descending down to envelop its twin between his lips. 

His tongue swirled around the bud, relishing in the way it made your walls squeeze him. 

“F-Feels so good!” you whined, clawing at his back, no doubt leaving behind red scratches. 

“Yeah?” he breathed, making sure to angle his hips just right to hit that spot he had memorized. 

Your reaction was instantaneous, a sharp cry so loud he had to reach up to cover your mouth with his hand. 

“Can’t be too loud,” he warned, his cock throbbing at the teary, pleasure-filled gaze you fixed him with. 

He could feel your moans vibrating beneath his hand as he continued his sweet pace. Your walls squeezed him tight and he groaned, dipping down to press his face to your neck. 

“Gonna cum,” your words were muffled but he managed to catch them. 

He nodded, sitting back on his heels. His grip on your mouth moved to your throat, the long digits wrapping around your neck just the way you liked. In an instant, his pace doubled and his other hand found purchase on your pelvic bone, thumb extending out to rub at your swollen clit. 

The hard bud throbbed beneath his touch as he circled it in time to his thrusts. His hand tightened against your throat, feeling your moans vibrate against his palm as you reached your high. 

Your back arched and your eyes rolled back before fluttering closed. The pinch in your brow and the way your mouth hung silently open sent him over the edge, your own euphoria being enough to make him cum. 

You squeezed his cock tight, milking everything he had to fill you up. 

Everything came to a slow halt, Tamaki slowed his grinding before allowing his softened length to slip free. His cum dripped from your still spasming entrance, making a mess of your bedsheets. Neither of you cared, however, as he laid beside you. 

“I love you,” you whispered against his chest, eyes fluttering with sleep.

“...I love you too,” he replied, kissing the top of your head.

As you drifted to sleep, you missed the flood of tears that dripped down his still flushed cheeks. 

The next morning, the birds chirping from your open balcony door woke you up. Immediately, images of last night came to mind. You sat up, holding your sheets to your chest as you looked around. 

Your nightgown and panties Tamaki had stripped you of were folded atop your dresser and there was no sign of your boyfriend. 

Or rather...ex-boyfriend.

The thought made your heart clench and you couldn’t stop the stinging in your eyes.

It was really over.

-

Your parents miracuously, and unfortunately, noticed the rapid change in your demeanor. They grilled you on the cause, although they already knew it was related to your feelings for Tamaki. Over the course of the month since he disappeared from your bed without another word, you’d grown more withdrawn and lonely. The everyday, boring rule-filled life you lived losing the tiny glimmer of happiness Tamaki once provided.

“Is this about Tamaki’s engagement?” your mother asked one evening, making everything around you come to a screeching halt. Your eyes fell to her at the other end of the table. She wasn’t looking at you, shaking her head as she cut the steak on her plate, “It’s silly to be upset over something like that. I would have expected you to be over him by now.”

“I love him…” you confessed tearfully. 

Your father scoffed, “don’t be ridiculous. Love is pointless, you know that.”

“But I…” you were cut off by your mother’s sharp glare.

“You think your father and I love each other?” you fell silent at those words, “You’d be wise to let go of that stupid fantasy of marrying for love right now.”

“We’ll take care of that soon, don’t you worry,” your father threatened with a glare that let you know the conversation was over.

The man certainly lived up to his threat because the following week, you found yourself sitting at a table with Enji and Rei Todoroki. Shoto Todoroki sat stiffly to your right, fisting his dress pants with a cold look on his face.

“I’m glad you’ve finally seen reason,” Enji spoke in that ugly, superior tone that made your face morph to one of disgust. Glancing at Shoto, you saw his eyes narrowed at his father.

At least he seemed to hate him as well.

“Well, our daughter seems to need it,” your mother spoke in a sickly sweet tone, “She’s got this foolish idea of love in her silly head. So we decided your offer for marrying young Shoto couldn’t have happened at a better time!”

Enji nodded with his arms crossed over his puffed out chest, “Excellent. You won’t regret your decision. I’ll have the proper paperwork filed as soon as this weekend and we can begin the proper preperations.”

You heard Shoto sigh beside you as he stood up, placing a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to find a sorrowful look in his eyes that almost made you cry, “I’m sorry…”

With that soft sentiment whispered soft enough that no one could hear him, he held his hand out to you. You sighed and took it, allowing him to help you to your feet.

“_____ and I will take a walk,” Shoto announced, “I’d like to get to know her a bit more.”

“Excellent idea, dear,” Rei praised, though you couldn’t help but think the smile on her face was more than fake. 

Shoto squeezed your hand, leading you out of the room. Once the two of you were safely away from the prying eyes of staff, hidden away in the garden, he released your hold.

“You fell in love with someone you weren’t supposed to, huh?” he mused, making you look up at him in shock. He chuckled softly, “Don’t worry, whatever you tell me is safe with me.”

“Yeah…” you whispered, frowning at the cobblestone ground, “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be with him until we were already together. My parents keep telling me it’s stupid to be in love…”

“I understand,” he sighed, starting a slow pace walking around with his hands clasped behind his back. When you looked up at him, he was gazing at the moon, the light making the glassiness of his eyes even more visible than you would have thought, “I did the same thing.”

“Really?” you couldn’t help but ask.

He nodded, chin wobbling slightly before he spoke, “Her name was Momo. We were together for almost 3 years before she was married off to some guy before I even knew it was happening. She told me that it was never going to work between us anyway so we shouldn’t have even bothered,” he sighed, “I was pretty heartbroken.”

“It seems you still are,” you mused softly. 

He chuckled, looking over at you finally with a sad smile, “That’s the life we live, isn’t it? Sad and lonely...nothing is truly ours, not even our love.”

Those words resonated in your heart, making you bite your lip to fight back tears. He stopped, taking your hand in his similar to how Tamaki had that last night you were together.

“Regardless of whether we are married or not,” he breathed, “I will never expect you to love me but...I will make sure you at least enjoy my company. I won’t let us become like our parents. We can at least have that bit of happiness to ourselves, right?”

“Shoto…” you breathed, the tears you had been fighting back finally coming forth. 

He cupped the back of your head, bringing you in for a sweet hug, “Who knows...maybe if we’re lucky we’ll be able to love each other in the end…”

Those words faded into the night, neither of you sure if such a thing would ever be possible. Both of your hearts already belonged to other people. It was a painful existence but you could have wound up arranged to be wed to a worse man. 

Shoto wasn’t bad, you knew that. He managed to make you feel happy when you were together ― which became more frequent the closer your wedding date grew. Of course, he didn’t make you anywhere near as happy as Tamaki did. 

You desperately missed the closeness you felt with him. How it felt to be wrapped up in the strong arms of a man who loved you. Almost every night, you found yourself sleeping on a wet pillow. 

The night before your wedding, you found yourself sitting in your bedroom with a dual haired man standing in the middle of it. It felt so strange; he was going to be your husband in just 12 hours but you still had another man on your mind.

You remembered how it felt to have Tamaki sneaking into your room late at night too.

“What’re you doing here?” you asked softly.

“You’ve been crying,” he pointed out, making you wince.

“I’m sorry…” you apologized, unsure what for.

“Why are you saying sorry?” he chuckled softly, walking closer to you.

“I’m crying because I’m marrying you tomorrow, that can’t feel very good,” you sighed.

He shook his head, hands tucked in his pockets, “I get it. That’s why I came here.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, wiping a stray tear away.

“_____,” he sighed, “Is it really worth it? What do you get out of doing what they say? You’re an adult...there’s nothing they can do to stop you from leaving. You have a good education and I’m sure Tamaki does as well,” his words had you pausing, “You might not wind up with as much money as you have now but at least you’ll have the freedom to be a person. I lost my chance by letting my parents control my life and take Momo away from me. But you still have a chance.”

“Are you saying…?”

He smiled, placing his hand on top of your head, “Be with Tamaki. Even if it’s just for a few months or a few years, you’ll know what it’s like to live your own life. I can’t even imagine what they could feel like. Aren’t you tired of living like this? With all these rules...they tell us who we can be friends with, what to eat, how to sit at the damn dinner table...we’re barely even people. We’re just a means of obtaining power. Our parents marry us to the most powerful families they can in hopes of getting an heir worth a damn. It’s bullshit.”

“Shoto…” you whispered, a new sense of life flowing through you, “What if he’s not willing to leave it all?”

He shrugged, “Then at least you can say you tried and...in the morning if it didn’t work then you can marry me and we’ll adopt a damn dog or something.”

“I’m allergic to dogs,” you countered.

“A fucking cat then,” the uncharacteristic curse had you giggling into your hand. 

“Thank you, Shoto,” he took a step back as you stood up, “I’ll see you around.”

“We’ll see,” he replied, watching as you wrapped a measly bathrobe around yourself, not a care in the world about getting properly dressed.

You were out of breath by the time you made it to Tamaki’s. Your car was parked down the street to avoid attracting any attention. Tamaki’s bedroom light was on and you eagerly climbed the lattice that decorated the side of the house. 

Peeking into his room, you could see that he was sitting at his desk, writing something. He tensed when he heard his balcony door open, spinning in his chair to gape at you.

“_____?” he gasped, jumping to his feet to shut the door and close the curtain. He gripped your arms, hissing when he felt your temperature, “It’s freezing out what the hell are you doing wearing that?”

You beamed at his care for you, throwing your arms around his shoulders. Immediately, his hands found purchase on your hips to hold you against him.

“Run away with me, Tama,” you breathed.

He froze, pulling away from you with wide eyes, “Wh-What?”

“Run away with me,” you repeated, fisting his shirt, “What’s really keeping us here? We can make it on our own, we have good educations and can get good jobs. We can be together and be happy without outside voices whispering in our ears. We can be normal people, Tamaki.”

He was quiet, loosening his grip on you to take a few steps back. He ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. The happiness and confidence you had built up quickly crashed and you found yourself feeling foolish. 

Why would he want to leave everything behind for you? He was in the same position as you; due to be married soon. Hanging your head, you let out a sigh.

“It’s alright,” you whispered, shrugging your shoulders, “I get it’s something really big to ask. You don’t have to take me up on it. I just thought...I would see.”

He still didn’t say anything and you turned on your heel to make way for the balcony, “I’m um...getting married tomorrow so...I just thought you should know that I love you so much, Tama. Being with you was the best thing I ever had...even when I’m married with Shoto, I’ll never stop thinking of you, okay? I wish you the best in your own marriage.”

You got out to the balcony, swinging one leg over the rail to climb down when two strong arms pulled you back. You gasped when you fell to the ground, your weight pressed against Tamaki as he buried his face in your neck. It didn’t take you long to realize he was crying. His tears wet your shoulder as he squeezed you tight.

“Don’t go,” he cried, “The idea of you being with another man...it’s too much.”

“Tama…” you whispered, holding onto him in return.

“Let’s do it,” he sniffled, pulling back to gaze into your eyes. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to yours, “I’ll pack a bag. Have you got a bag?”

“No,” you replied sheepishly, “I wasn’t sure if you would say yes so I didn’t want to assume.”

He chuckled, untangling himself from you before moving back into his room, tossing all sorts of clothes and valuables into his suitcase. You laughed as he talked about selling stuff for money. 

Before long, he was packed and ready to go. 

Once you were sitting inside your car, the heat blasting as you warmed your cold skin, he reached over and took your hand in his. You looked at him, finding that familiar look of love in his eyes that never failed to make your heart soar.

As he squeezed your hand, you just knew that everything was going to be just fine.

[camistired]

stranger

scenario: trying to show Bucky that your there for him during tfatws, but he keeps ignoring you

a/n: i started writing this yesterday after watching the first episode of tfatws. if people like this, i might make this a whole ff following the show, so let me know if you like this. also please ignore any mistakes or if it’s wordy, i haven’t written anything in months. i am open to criticism!

edit: i didn’t realize i didn’t name until i was trying to add it to my masterlist, so please ignore the half-assed name, please and thankyou

reader has been left gender-neutral and has no specific race written

spoiler warning

It had been a few months since everyone started reappearing, yourself included. The last thing you remembered was waiting out the fight with Thanos with Shuri, and you remembered feeling lighter then usual and you watched as your friend turned to dust before your very eyes. However what felt like the same breathe, you watched as her being was rebuilt by the same dust the took her away.

It had been a lot to process, to know that you and others close to you had basically died, and came back to the same exact fight happening. It was worse to come back to know that one of your dearest friends was dead and she couldn’t be brought back like the lot of you. It sucked standing in-between Bucky and Sam at Tony’s funeral.

You had missed five years of life, and for what? For some giant purple pyscho titan to stop over population and then become a space rancher? In your eyes, it was complete and utter bullshit. But you can’t change the past.

With Steve’s retirement, Bucky’s pardon, and Sam still kicking ass and saving people as The Falcon, you felt lost. Everyone else has scattered around to handle everything by themselves. But you thrived off of others, that’s just how you worked. So, sitting lonely in your single bedroom Brooklyn apartment, you let out a loud sigh.

You stayed in New York, purely for Bucky’s sake. The man is a hundred and six, and is an ex-assassin, he doesn’t need your help. Especially since you can barely hold a gun without nearly pissing your pants. But you knew the man was basically alone. He spent his past ninety years being in and out of ice fighting, except when he had his moment of peace in Wakanda.

You’ve tried to reach out, called him every now and again, but it was always went to voicemail. You left so many voicemails, your surprised it isn’t full by now. But you’ll keep leaving them, no matter if he actually listens to them or if he just deletes them immediately. You hoped that they gave him some sort of comfort if he did ever listen to them.

You looked at the time, it was a quarter past eleven. You let out another sigh. Something you still haven’t been able to get down was your damn sleep schedule. Sometimes you stayed up until two - three in the morning and sleep into the afternoon, and that was on a good day. You tried to establish a routine, but it just  never worked. If you tried to go to bed earlier, you end up either staring at the ceiling till sunrise or waking up in the middle of the night, for no reason. You didn’t have to use the bathroom, you didn’t have a nightmare, you just woke up, and you couldn’t go back to sleep, no matter what you tried. You’ve expressed this to your brother, you suggests maybe you go see a therapist, maybe do a sleep study, but you just shut the ideas down. That was the last things you wanted to do, was be monitored.

However, you couldn’t do this anymore. You forced yourself out of bed and changed your clothes from your normal sweatpants and baggy t-shirt to leggings and a slightly less baggy shirt. If you couldn’t fall asleep naturally, might as well take a walk around the block and maybe take a melatonin tablet or two, see if that does anything.

Locking your door, you start walking down your hall when you see a man walk away from your neighbor’s, Yori Nakajima’s, door. You’ve known the old man for as long as you lived here. You’ve tried to help him out as much as he will let you, and even though he’ll never admit it, he appreciates the help. He tries to repay in small ways, he even offers you to join him and a younger friend of his for sushi down at Izzy, but you always turn him down. You helped to help, not get anything in return.

You walked up to Yori’s door but he closed it before you could reach his door. You sighed and instead decided to talk to the man walking away.

“Excuse me!” You called out, walking towards him. He seemed to tense up and walked a little faster but you touch his arm before he could go much farther.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, I just have a few question...”

He cursed under his breathe but he didn’t move. That’s when you noticed the way he held himself. His body language very much showed he was uncomfortable, and whether he was doing on purpose or subconsciously, he was leaning away from where your hand met his arm.

You moved your hand back down to your side but you walked in front of him and you froze when you saw his face.

“Bucky?!”

He seemed to shy into himself more when you recognized who he was, making you instantly felt bad. However, examining him he looked different. His hair was a big one, ever since you first met Bucky,  his hair was shoulder length. But he looked a lot cleaner with shorter hair, his loose curls a lot more prominent now. However, that  seemed to showcase the most change. It felt as if he went backwards more than anything.

His jacket, the gloves, the brooding energy radiating off of him. He felt like the man you met back when the whole “Civil War” mess was happening.

He softly addressed you, but he still never looked at you directly. It was concerning especially since you considered you two close. But maybe it was because you two haven’t talked properly? Maybe because he’s been ignoring your calls? Whatever the reason, you didn’t care. It made you feel better he was out talking to people, no matter that it was your older neighbor, he was interacting with people. It made you wonder if he had talk to Sam, but you doubted it.

“Long time no see, stranger. Glad to see your still alive.”

He looked at you with a blank expression, and you recognized that looked. He was looking for a tell, if you were angry at him or not. In all honesty, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be angry like he excepted you to be. You’re glad he was doing something, he didn’t have to be okay fully, just as long as he was going out.

“I’m not angry, Bucky.” You said flatly, as his eyes met yours. You could tell that he relaxed, physically. “I mean, concerned, sure. Scared you had locked yourself in your apartment, definitely. But not mad. Just... wished you would have called. Sent a text to let me know you were okay... Anything, really.”

He sighs, “I know... I should have done something- said something. I just have a lot going on.”

“Everyone does. Half of the population got turned into dust, we’ve lost a lot of friends. It’s just... we’ve gotta stay together, you know? We can’t rely on Steve anymore... And the more we’re by ourselves, the more we’re just creating terrible coping mechanisms, ya know?”

He seems to be taking in your words and you just smile at him softly. “Just think about it, okay?”

You begin walking down the hall before you turn towards him again, “Oi! And Barnes?”

He looks up at you, “Yeah?”

“If I don’t hear from you soon, just know I will hunt you down and beat your ass! No more of this distancing, stranger shit. I know how to find you now. And you know where I live!”

You smirk as you turn around to finally go on that walk, but little did you know that Bucky had a little smirk of his own as he took in your words.

“No more distancing, no more acting like a stranger... I have to start nurturing my friendships...”

[akemiiiii]

Like waves crashing.

[before anything else, i know i only put my art here, but I do write from time to time hehe, so I'm sharing this one with you all, much love! I hope you enjoy it!]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck?”

The first thing that Iwaizumi registers in his sleep-addled mind is that the bed is too soft. It did not feel like the firm mattress he always sleeps on in his apartment.

The second thing he registers is the soft scent of bergamot and pine which reminds him of Oikawa.

Which was definitely weird because Oikawa isn’t anywhere remotely near him at the moment, in fact, he clearly remembers he was 6 thousand miles away.

His eyes open to see a white ceiling, a grey duvet cover, and the king-sized bed he was currently on.

”What the fuck?”

Iwaizumi was thoroughly confused. He doesn’t remember anything that would sufficiently explain where he was.

The last thing he does remember was his sleep-deprived thoughts of missing Tooru because they’d yet to see each other for a year now and a pixelated face on a screen does not count.

And now here he is on a soft mattress that does wonders for his body, a room he does not recognize, and a scent that reminds him so much of his best friend.

“Did I die from missing Tooru so much?” Iwa anxiously gets up from the bed and heads to what he assumes is the cabinet. Right now, the idea of lying half-naked on a stranger’s bed did not seem appealing.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth for reasons unknown to him. But as Iwaizumi scrambles to open the cabinet, his sight lands on two very conspicuous shirts.

Hanging isolated on the right end of the closet was a black shirt that housed a small Japanese flag right above where a heart would be when worn. Besides the black shirt is a blue jersey, a huge ‘13’ smack right in the middle with an Argentine flag on the corner.

For the 3rd time that day, Iwaizumi curses.

Was Tooru already 1st string on his team? Was he already playing for Argentina? Wait, no, that’d be impossible Tooru would have to be an Argentine citizen for that ti happen.

Thoughts beeline in his brain, too fast for him to process. While Iwa was trying to understand what he was seeing, voices past the door of the room catch his attention.

Iwa stands still, eyes wide, fearing he’d be caught. Any hopes of these people leaving burn to dust as the knob turns slightly.

Then his eyes meet the soft brown burned and buried into his heart.

“Tooru?” Iwaizumi doesn’t take notice of the fact that Oikawa’s taller, bulkier, and more tanned. He was too happy to finally see his best friend after a year of not having him near that he barrels past the unfamiliar room to crush said man into a fierce hug.

“...Iwa-chan?” Oikawa squeaks out

“Tooru! Gods, I missed your stupid face, how are you here? Why are you here?” at this Iwa moves back to glare at the man “You better not have skipped out on your practices dumbass, you know better than to…”

“What the fuck?” The fourth curse surprisingly does not come from Iwaizumi. Well, not from the one who just bear-hugged Oikawa.

Iwa’s eyes move from Oikawa’s wide-blown eyes, past his shoulder, to see his own face staring back at him. A more muscled, more robust, maybe slightly taller version of himself.

Iwa curses for the fifth time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait, wait, wait, you mean to say it is currently 2024?” Iwaizumi asks this supposedly adult Tooru.

“Yeah! We’re like, 30 now, Iwa-chan!” For the most part, Tooru looks extremely amused at what was happening that he couldn’t stop looking back and forth between the younger Iwa and the older.

“Damn, Iwa-chan, look at all the wrinkles you’ve accumulated, I told you all that scowling was gonna stay.” Oikawa chatters on excitedly

“Shut up ‘kawa” On the other hand, Iwa’s older counterpart now looks on calmly, as if this mind-blowing event was a normal part of his everyday life.

“Wait, you said we’re in Japan? And we’re...living together?? What about Argentina? Did you come back to Japan after all? But that wouldn’t explain the jersey…” There was so much Iwa wanted to ask about, but these were his topmost concerns.

“Hmmm, how much am I allowed to say? Will this affect the past? How did you even get here?” Oikawa directs the first 2 questions to the Iwaizumi closer to him (the adult one) and directs the last one to the Iwa sitting in front of them.

“I suppose you can say the condition we’re in now. But not the major ones.” The adult Iwaizumi offers

“But Iwa-chan! How am I supposed to know which ones are ‘major’ ones?!” Oikawa whines out, dramatically air quoting his statement.

The older Iwa heaves a sigh and faces his counterpart, “Yeah, we’re living together, we’re in Japan, as for Argentina, you’ll know in time.”

“...Huh.” Younger Iwa just huffs at that, but living together wasn’t really a big issue, in the back of his mind, Iwa thinks he knew all along that they would end up like that anyway.

Living with your best friend doesn’t really pose any much problem for him, plus he’d get to spend the days with Oikawa at his side and take care of his dumbass, so it’d be a win-win.

Younger Iwa still doesn’t realize why exactly he was very much pleased with the information that he and Oikawa living together was a great thing.

“Wait, I wanna know how old you are though Iwa-chan, you look almost the same as I remember when we were high school, but with major eye-bags.” Oikawa shifts closer, and younger Iwa stares at the freckles prominent on his face, the wide smile, and something in him clicks.

The one difference that he couldn’t pin, the one thing that made him believe that this Tooru really wasn’t his Tooru. This Tooru exuded happiness. Exuded contentedness.

He must’ve stared too long because Oikawa’s clearing of the throat makes snaps him out of whatever he was trying to comprehend.

“..Ah. well you aren’t exactly wrong, its been a year or so after we graduated as seniors. I’m at the end of the 2nd sem of college,” Iwa explains

“Holy fuck, that’d make you 19, ah youth! You’re so young let me pinch your cheeks!” Oikawa doesn’t wait for the go before both hands grab at younger Iwa’s chubby cheeks.

“Ha-ji-me~~ your baby fats are all still here! How wonderful!”

The sudden use of first name leaves Iwa blushing in Oikawa’s hands, panicked eyes seek help from the man beside Oikawa but adult him just laughed at his plight.

“Oi, ‘Kawa stop, he’ll combust.”

“You mean, you’ll combust?” Oikawa turns his head to face his Iwaizumi and wiggles his eyebrows. Younger Iwa doesn’t miss the gleam of affection that passes his eyes, and suddenly he is very aware of the lack of insults these two were trading.

If they were them, in the future, surely they’d have the same amount of banter he and Oikawa have, right? the roughhousing and all that, right?

But the only thing Iwa sees are casual touches here and there.

Like a switch, Iwa realizes a lot of things.

The apartment seemed to only have one master bedroom. In that room was a king-sized bed. With two pillows. The closet seems to house both of their clothes.

Oikawa was leaning into adult Iwa’s space more than the usual Oikawa would have been to younger Iwa.

There was a lot of gentle and almost, Iwa daresay, loving affectionate stares the two in front of him kept having in this hour alone.

And the most glaring, most shocking, most unbelievable thing Iwa has finally, finally noticed: The shining, demanding gleam of two matching rings.

“Are you married?” Iwa blurts out, the need to know suddenly engulfing him in ways he can’t fathom. How? Why? Since when?

The two in front of him exchange glances. And as an answer, both lace their fingers together. It is the older him that speaks softly, “Yeah.”

The word silences him. Once again, thoughts swim in his mind furiously crashing back and forth like waves.

How? Did he actually love Tooru all this time or did he come to fall in love with him? Was it when they were separated??

Why? Was this a need or a want or a what? What exactly could be the reason that they’d end up married???

Since when? When did they fall in love, when did they decide on marriage, when did they realize that the other was the one person they wanted to spend their entire lives with?

Iwa’s mind was a mess, but honestly, he knew every answer. He was probably in love with his best friend. No, not probably. Definitely. He started the moment they met and never stopped.

He loved Tooru. Loved his stupid collection of alien merch, loved the way his eyes lit up when they were on call, loved the way he took the spot next to Iwa as if that was where he was always supposed to be.

Iwaizumi loved and hated the way he was separated from Tooru, because of the space it left and because of the growth it pushed in them.

In the back of his mind, Iwaizumi hoped, wished, and knew that whatever their future may be, he’d always be beside Tooru, even if they were physically apart.

He’d known for years now that his future would have been with Tooru because the only future he pictured himself happy was with Tooru.

Fuck, he was in love with his best friend.

“Holy shit.” Iwa breathes out.

“Yep. Hard to swallow that you’re in love with this ass right?” Older him chuckles out, nudging Oikawa’s shoulder

“Hey! I’m a fine piece of ass. You’re lucky enough you got me!” Oikawa shoves back, the smile evident behind his pouting face.

“I really am.” The casual confidence in which his adult self replies to this is another blow to Iwa.

He fell in love with his best friend.

He gets to live with his best friend.

He gets to marry his best friend.

He gets to spend the rest of his life loving the person who has always made his soul feel alive.

“I love that I’m getting to see firsthand your reaction to realizing you’re in love with me.” Oikawa pinches the younger Iwa’s cheek with his free hand, and all pleasant thoughts of Tooru fly away, getting replaced with irritation at his smug smile.

“Well, knowing me, you have no other option but to fall in love with me Iwa-chan. I mean really, did you really think you’d get rid of me that easily?? My bi realization happened in junior high, you shit!”

Oikawa’s hold on his cheek strengthens, as he forcefully wiggles Iwa’s face right and left. Adult Iwa was apparently finding it amusing.

“Like what the hell! You were up in my room all shirtless in summer when it’s hot! And sweat!! And you had the fucking gall to play wrestle me without even knowing the internal turmoil I was having!”

Oikawa finally lets go of his abused cheeks, it was probably beet red from the amount of force he used to pinch, but also because of the words Oikawa was spewing.

“To be fair, ‘kawa, you liked the play wrestles because you said it gave you a reason to touch the developing muscles I had.” adult Iwa smooths over.

“It was still unfair because up until we were seniors I was literally dropping hints left and right and the entire fuckin’ team knew, and you were still there being the slowest idiot I have ever encountered in my life. Even your parents knew, how slow can you be Iwa-chan?”

Oikawa’s glare was directed at older Iwa, but it could have also been aimed at him from the amount of mortification he had. So that was why Oikawa loved holding hands when going home back then.

“Ah, the sweet taste of knowing the exact moment you realized you love me. Can’t believe it took for you to meet the future us to fucken know. Iwa-chan, you a rare breed.” Oikawa winks at him.

Older Iwa snorts, “Oh my god, never use that phrase again Tooru, what the fuck” He shoves him playfully, while Oikawa just wiggles his eyebrow back at him, prompting older Iwa’s fuller laugh.

And seeing this domestic scene in front of him somehow calms Iwaizumi enough to the point that everything in the world rearranges itself because he has found the answer that settles his very core.

“Ah. Times up.” Older Iwa says, looking straight at him. He dons a secretive smile, and for some reason, Iwa understands that he’s probably going to go back to the past now.

“Wait, last thing, are we happy? together?” Iwa frantically asks. Because no matter how he wants what this future paints, he wants what makes Oikawa happiest the most.

Adult Oikawa moves closer to him, leaving a lingering kiss on his forehead. “Ah, my Iwa-chan, I was never, will never be not happy when I’m with you. Now off you go! Don’t make things too hard for me, ‘kay?”

A last caress is what Iwa feels before he wakes up back in his shitty apartment with clustered notes and dirty laundry. It was currently afternoon, which means Tooru would be lounging in his own bed, probably reading.

Iwaizumi picks up his phone to ring him immediately. It’s answered in less than a minute, and the fluffy cocoon blanket of Tooru is what greets him first, before the scrunched-up nose of his best friend.

“You’re late Iwa-chan! Did you forget about lil’ ol’ me?” He pouts, and even though he was just with Tooru a second ago, he missed this Tooru still.

“Never. Hey Tooru.” The first name surprises Tooru, a blush rising, and before he would’ve just waved that off, but now that Iwa knows what he knows, he can easily see the pleased and happy gleam Tooru feels.

“Hey Hajime. So, how was your day?”

Iwa opens his mouth to tell him what he had just experienced, but adult Oikawa’s last words ring in his mind. It wouldn’t be fun at all if Hajime makes it known that he knows Tooru likes him, and him vice versa would it?

He closes his mouth and hides a grin. Nope. Not fun at all. Guess he’ll let things flow for now and keep Tooru at his feet. Someones gotta have to, right?

“Nothing much, I just woke up late, anyways tell me that gossip you had with your Abuela.”

“Oh yeah!! Iwa-chan you won’t believe what's happened, Juan’s partner got…”

Really, Iwaizumi muses that he should have realized long ago that he can’t imagine anybody else’s voice filling up his days in the future.

[Ok omg, tell me what you think, I know there're probably a lot of errors in grammar, hshshs, i'm still trying to get a hang of writing :D, I really hope you enjoyed reading this !!]

[maybankiara]

MY GOD, YOU’RE A SWEET THING

pairing: JJ Maybank x Female!Reader

prompt: “When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- Highlight by SEVENTEEN (from my song prompt list)

summary: It’s prom night and JJ has a surprise planned for you.

word count: 3.1k

additional: i was listening to hozier while writing this and this ended up being the most emotional fluffy piece i’ve ever written, which was completely the opposite of my initial idea for the prompt (it was supposed to be more about the darkness - ended up being about the stars instead). i highly recommend listening to heavenly day by patty griffin as you read, specifically from the middle onwards (you’ll be able to tell).

written for @kiarasflowr​

requests are open

‘You look amazing,’ your sister says.

  You look at her and feel the smile taking over your entire face; her eyes are gazing at you in awe, her mouth agape, and you never thought you’d be able to get a reaction like this out of her.

  ‘Thank you, Lou.’

  ‘Don’t let it get to your head,’ she replies, spreading across your bed. ‘It’s one day out of thousands.’

  ‘JJ thinks I’m amazing every day.’

  Louise snorts. ‘Believe me, he doesn’t.’

  ‘Scoot, you pest.’

  Despite your words, you cannot help but smile at your little sister. She completely ignores your order and remains seated on your bed, typing away on her phone. You turn around your axis, watching as the fabric of the dress flows with each of your movements.

  You spent months looking for it. Kiara and Sarah helped out as much as they could, but where Sarah was overly girly, Kiara was overly boyish for your taste, and you ended up finding the dress alone, with Lou by your side. The material is light, a faded blue, and it feels as if you aren’t wearing anything at all.

  Louise was the one who helped you out with your hair, managing to get it to look all nice and put in all the right places. You did your own makeup, with Louise helping out every now and then, and you think you look good.

  Like you told Lou, JJ is going to like you no matter what. It doesn’t hurt that you’d like to exceptionally good for a change, too.

  Not long after, the doorbell rings. Even Louise’s face lights up as she realises what time it is. She walks you to the stairs and you hear your dad open the door, even though you asked to be the one to do so.

  It doesn’t matter.

  Lou steps in front of you, unable to shy away from the grin on her face. ‘He’s going to fall on his ass when he sees you.’

  You chuckle, quirking an eyebrow. ‘You think so?’

  ‘Puh-lease. You look like a freaking goddess. Do you think I’m shabby with anything I do?’

  ‘Sure thing, Lou. It’s all you.’

  ‘Damn right it is.’ She leans over the ledge and peeks into the hallway. ‘She’ll be right down!’

  ‘Did you see him?’ you ask.

  ‘Mhm.’

  ‘What does he look like?’

  Lou peeks over the ledge again, then grins. ‘He matched the tie. And the handkerchief. Y/N, stop smiling like that, it’s too much.’

  ‘Oh shut up, Lou!’

  ‘You ready?’

  ‘Don’t make a big fuss out of it.’

  She nods, stepping backwards towards the beginning of the staircase. ‘Duly noted and consciously ignored. Ladies and gentlemen,’ Lou announces, ‘welcome Y/N Y/L/N, and prepare to be amazed. Maybank, if she doesn’t come back in one piece, I’ll cut off your di—’

  ‘Enough,’ you hear your dad say sternly, even if his voice is at the edge of cracking up. There’s another nervous chuckle that you recognise as your boyfriend’s, and your heart flutters in your chest.

  Louise walks down first and you follow right behind. The heels are medium high but it still takes you a bit longer to make your way down, making the whole thing more dramatic than it already is.

  You keep your eyes on the ground and you tell yourself it’s because you don’t want to miss a step – in reality, you know that the moment you look up, the magic will either devour you whole, or dissipate.

  But you do, because you come to the last step, and your eyes lock with JJ’s and—

  If you didn’t believe in magic before, you do now.

  ‘Hi,’ he says, except he stammers it, and you see him struggling to contain himself as a wide smile spreads across his face. ‘You look – Um, you’re stunning.’

  You smile, walk over to him, and kiss him on the cheek. He’s wearing a suit that Kiara’s dad gave him and it looks good on him, making him a little less scrawny than he usually seems. You giggle when you notice that Louise wasn’t kidding when she said he matched his tie and handkerchief with your dress.

  ‘Kie and Pope helped out,’ he mumbles.

  ‘It looks dashingly handsome,’ you say honestly, loving the effect your words have on him. He blushes and he looks away, staring at behind you as you fix his tie. ‘They did a good job.’

  ‘Stop complimenting me. I don’t know how to react.’

  This is where the conversation ends, as your dad steps between the two of you to take photos. Your whole family poses with you and your mom quickly takes over your dad’s place in the pictures. JJ finds it amusing and even though he doesn’t say anything, you can tell he wishes his family could give him this experience, too.

  Instead, you just squeeze his hand and brush through his hair with your fingertips, hoping that he knows that you are his family.

  The rest of the Pogues are waiting for the two of you outside, in John B’s van. Lots of compliments are exchanged and you were right when you thought the whole group would look amazing – both Sarah and Kiara look just as good as you feel, and the boys match the vibe perfectly.

  You sit in the back, with your hand in JJ’s lap as he plays with your fingers. You’re not nervous anymore – it’s impossible to be nervous when you’re with him.

  It’s a good feeling to walk into your gym hall and see it entirely redecorated into a dance venue, littered with balloons and tapestries and tables and chairs and glasses and lots of punch that you are certain has already been spiked. John B takes the lead towards your table, holding Sarah’s hand. The whole group sits down and thankfully, the tables are set for six people, and you know you’re not going to be bothered by anyone else.

  JJ leans into your ear soon after the music begins. ‘Let’s go take pictures.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  He nods.

  ‘I thought you said prom pictures are dumb.’

  ‘Well,’ he says, playing with your fingers again, ‘I decided that they’re not dumb if I want memories of tonight.’

  You grin at him and kiss him quickly, briefly, knowing that in just a few hours, you’d be able to do more than that. ‘You’re a softie.’

  ‘Hush. Don’t let anyone hear you.’

  The two of you chat and laugh as you walk over to the photo booth. Someone on the prom committee decided that having a person taking the photos would be too expensive, so all you’ve got it a shitty photo booth. Somehow, it fits the vibe, too.

  Everything seems about tonight seems to be perfect. You’re just waiting for it to crash.

  You sit down and JJ pulls you into his lap, kissing you fully on the mouth. You don’t have a lot of time so he places a few quick kisses on your neck, before looking up at you. ‘Do you think they have cameras in here?’

  ‘I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.’

  ‘It’s America.’ JJ shrugs. ‘They can do whatever they want.’

  You laugh and brush the hair off his forehead, giving it a kiss. ‘I think we’re good.’

  At this, JJ reaches into the pocket of his vest and takes out a small flask. By his devilish grin, you can tell you’re not going to be using that to spike any punches.

  He unwinds the cap and raises it to you. ‘Ladies first.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ You take a swig and feel the whiskey burn in your throat, but you let it simmer. It’s good whiskey – probably the best one you’ve ever had. You don’t want to know where and how JJ got it.

  Once you’ve both had a bit each, you finally take those photos. They’re goofy, mostly, and perfect representations of your relationship with JJ, and you know they’ll be something you’ll cherish for the rest of your life. But then just as you think you’re done, JJ tells you that he wants to take some proper ones.

  ‘Never thought I’d hear you say that,’ you admit.

  JJ shrugs, his eyes glancing to your lips. ‘Never thought I’d attend a prom with you.’

  ‘Sap.’

  ‘Quiet.’

  He puts the coin in the place and holds you close, gazing into your eyes. The flash goes off and you’re expecting him to move, except he doesn’t – he only drops his gaze to your lips and kisses you softly, lips barely brushing against yours.

  The flash goes off again and you hardly notice. JJ leans his forehead against yours, cradling your cheeks with a delicate touch, as if you were something he’s afraid to crush underneath his fingertips.

  The flash goes off for the last time. The sound of the pictures being printed is loud, and you can tell someone is waiting to get into the booth, but all of this could just as easily not be happening.

  The only thing you’re aware of is your face in JJ’s hands, his forehead against yours, his breath fanning your lips lightly, the smell of whiskey prominent.

  ‘I love you,’ he whispers.

  You kiss the words from his mouth.

  Some time later, everyone in your group is quite tipsy. The punch has been spiked, the whiskey has been shared (turns out, all the boys chipped in for the whiskey as a gift to the girls), and the songs have been danced to. It’s easy and it’s natural, and it just feels like a fancy party at the Boneyard.

  It’s one of the best nights of your life.

  You and JJ dance with the rest of the group to most songs, but you sit down for the slow ones. It’s for JJ, mostly, as you know he doesn’t trust in his slow dancing skills enough to do it in front of everybody.

  Whenever he apologises for it, you squeeze his hand and tell him that you’re happy, anyway. It would make the night even better, but it doesn’t make it any less great.

  JJ kisses you, without a fail, every time you give him reassurance. You’re definitely one of the most PDA couples, with John B and Sarah still taking the cake.

  At almost the very end of the night, with some half hour left before the after party at the Boneyard, JJ gets up from his seat, during one of the slow songs.

  ‘C’mon,’ he says, tugging at your hand.

  You get up, fumbling with your dress, your eyebrows furrowed but a smile dancing in the corners of your lips. ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘Shh.’

  JJ leads you through the hall and out of it, sneaking past the policemen guarding the entrance to the gym hall, and all the way to the inside of the building. You keep wanting to ask questions and he keeps shushing you, a vibrant smile on his face.

  It’s the thrill that’s keeping you both going. You can hear your heart thumping in your chest and the dress flows around your legs as you run as quietly as possible, holding JJ’s hand. You’re laughing with a hand over your mouth, and when he looks at you, the adoration in his eyes almost melts you.

  When you finally come to a halt, it’s right in front of the balcony through the school’s art gallery. JJ fumbles through his pocket with one hand, not letting go of yours.

  ‘JJ—’

  He shushes you again. You press your lips together, feeling both immense excitement and the early bubbles of annoyance with constantly being hushed. You watch as JJ takes a bunch of keys and puts one of them in the key hole, grinning at you devilishly.

  You sigh, shake your head, and give in to the smile that overtakes every other emotion on your face.

  JJ pushes the door open and motions for you to walk in first, which you do. He closes the door behind you, quietly, and rubs his thumb against the palm of your hand.

  The music from the hall is long enough for you to hear it even now; JJ keeps checking his wristwatch, leading you through the gallery.

  ‘What are we doing?’ you whisper. ‘And if you shush me again—’

  He crashes his lips against yours. His hands cradle your neck, thumbs moving along your jaw, and the kiss eases into softness. Your hands instinctively find themselves at his sides, and he steps closer, until there’s no space between you.

  You feels his breath on your lips and both of you are out of breath, even though you shouldn’t be.

  This feels like something more.

  When you look at him, JJ’s eyes are closed.

  ‘What are we doing?’

  ‘Wait,’ he whispers.

  His eyes open and he kisses you again, quickly, before taking your hand again and leading you through the gallery, to the balcony. He unlocks the door and closes it once you’re both out, in the fresh air. You’re surprised that you can hear the music well, as the air carries it in an unusual way – it’s loud but faint in melody, almost as it were sang by nature itself.

  It’s the second time that night that you believe in magic.

  ‘How do you like it?’

  You look at JJ and find him smiling at you, his gaze taking you in. He always looks at you with hunger, but one that’s nothing like the hunger you see in most boys – this is something deeper, a different kind of craving, one that isn’t wanting your body, but your soul, instead.

  You take a step closer and kiss him on the cheek, the way you always do. Your hands cradle his face and your thumb brushes the edges of his lips, your eyes following your finger.

  ‘I love it, J.’

  He smiles and you can almost see him breathe out the tension within him. ‘Good. But that’s not it.’

  ‘It’s not?’

  ‘Nope.’ He steps back and creates space between you, before taking your hands in his. ‘Do you trust me?’

  You consider it. ‘Not really.’

  JJ laughs and twirls you around. ‘Smart girl. I need you to trust me now.’

  ‘Don’t throw me off the roof, please.’

  ‘Y/N’—he tugs you close, breath fanning your lips—‘don’t ruin the mood.’

  You smile. ‘Okay.’

  He doesn’t give you a response, only takes a step back and twirls you to the music again, and soon enough both of you are laughing. You’re struggling to stay on your feet as the heels and alcohol combination isn’t the best, but it makes it all the funnier.

  You’ve done this so many times, yet each time, it feels different; new.

  He twirls you once more and you stumble, ending up with your back pressed against his chest. He wraps his hands around your abdomen and rests his chin on the top of your head, swaying both of you to the rhythm of the song. You find yourself relaxing into his touch, almost as if there’s no other place you belong more.

  This—JJ Maybank—is your home.

  Another song begins to play, a slow one, and you recognise it – it’s a song that you always jokingly said would play at your wedding. It’s also the song that you always associated with JJ – it somehow always played in the key moments between you two.

  You turn around and look him in the eye; he’s smiling, but his eyes are a little scared. ‘Did you set this up?’

  ‘The DJ owed me a favour.’

  You laugh and lean your head against his chest, feeling your shoulders shake. He pulls you even closer and you sway to the rhythm of the song again, only this time it feels…

  It feels different.

  JJ is singing along to the lyrics, whispering them against your ear. He moves his feet, too, reluctantly at first. You glance up at him and find him smiling, looking at you with the same adoration that makes you feel as if the world could not be better.

  He twirls you around, gently, and he holds you as he dances in circles around the balcony, and he sings, and you just see him loving you.

  You don’t know when you start crying, but you are, and his eyes aren’t dry, either. There’s smiles on both your faces and you feel your heart beating, your pals sweating, and you feel more alive than ever before.

  The song finishes and JJ brings you to a halt, still as another song begins. A few strands have fallen out of your hairstyle as you were dancing and he tucks them behind your ears, gently. His touch is gentle and brief, and you find yourself aching for more.

  He looks at you and the only word that comes to your mind is love.

  ‘Every time my life went a little sideways,’ he whispers, ‘you were there to keep me from doing the same. You were the one thing keeping me in place, no matter what shit was going on. I know that in fall, we need to go each our own way, and we’ll see what happens. But I just want you to know – I love you. With my whole heart. And I always will.’

  You pull your lips into your mouth so you wouldn’t sob; there are tears running down your face and you can’t blink them away fast enough. He wipes them away, with the tips of his thumbs, and you’ve never felt more loved.

  ‘I love you,’ you whisper back.

  JJ places a soft kiss on your lips. You expect him to deepen it, but he pulls back. ‘I want you to know that you’re always going to be the person who pulls me out of the darkness, even if you’re not there.’

  ‘Don’t talk like that,’ you say, your voice as shaky as your breath. ‘I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.’

  ‘I know.’ He kisses your forehead and you feel the tears on his lips. ‘I know. What I’m saying is that you’re all I want, Y/N. No one else. And I’m not asking anything from you, but I want you to know that forever with you is the only thing I could ever want.’

  You look up at him and the intensity of his gaze is almost too much to bear. ‘Are you proposing to me?’

  He chuckles, lightly. ‘Not yet. But I will, eventually, if you allow me.’

  ‘Yes,’ you say, quietly. ‘Even if it’s years from now, I will.’

  ‘Good,’ he says, confidently, but you feel him shake when he presses his lips against yours. ‘I couldn’t bear to lose you.’

  You run your fingers through his hair, smiling into the kiss, feeling his warmth. ‘You won’t,’ you promise.

  That night you learn that sometimes real life can be magical, too.

[charming-2d-boys]

Adultrio with children (Illumi Version)

By the way, this one’s veeeery long, but I had too much fun 😅

You have been warned!

so, despite the usual push from the family for more future little assassins, Illumi isn’t really that thrilled by the idea

he seems like the type of person whose eyes and actions don’t really stray when he’s outside, especially on a mission or errand, whether personal or professional

that being said, the most likely way you’re going to meet Illumi is through others, whether that someone is Hisoka or his own family (but he doesn’t really trust Hisoka’s judgment when it comes to introducing someone to him, especially with the intent of getting together)

so, the family is the only viable option of meeting

Zeno is the one who comes up with a new option after several failed ones brought up by Silva and Kikyo

you, the granddaughter of an old friend and former partner of his, who used to be in charge of gathering information on the targets (not really a partner per se, but they participated in several missions together and became friends over the years)

smart, cute, close in age to Illumi and seemingly a lot more… empathetic and emotional-looking than our dear pincushion boy (who isn’t, though?)

Illumi is told about this and despite being asked for his opinion, it’s already decided nonetheless

unlike all the other candidates who were all asked - more like forced - into meeting formally and at the Zoldyck estate, you insist on meeting in a more casual place and fashion

Illumi, along with Kikyo, remain a bit shocked - Kikyo more than him because the audacity, but also the courage~

Silva doesn’t really care as long as they meet and Zeno laughs because he was expecting this from all the stories about you and your stubbornness and actions throughout the years that he heard from your grandfather

and it is settled: meeting in a quaint, little cat café in the town nearby, a little bit before lunch, no one else from your families except the two of you - coming with the promise that if you saw/sensed anyone keeping an eye on you two, you’d leave immediately and refuse any sort of contact from the family (again, shock because not many get to demand anything from the Zoldycks, but it seems that they already have a good feeling about you)

Illumi dresses up in some casual clothes (still with the flame pattern 🙄) and heads out, getting a pat on the back from Zeno and a good luck

when he enters the establishment and looks around, he sees you, next to a bookcase, with a very big and fluffy peach-coloured cat in your lap, both relaxed and watching the others around you

your eyes lock with Illumi’s when you sense his aura and you smile, beckoning him closer - cue Illumi raising an eyebrow because you’re not getting up to greet him and that’s rude, but he understands when you explain that you had to coax that cat with food and headpats for like 5 minutes until it stayed in your lap

so, he sits down next to you, petting the cat in your lap when its large, round, green eyes stare at him and next thing you know, you’ve got almost half of the other cats in the café flocking to Illumi, sitting on his lap and around him and purring loudly

the other customers can only stare, too afraid of his expressionless face to complain and when they see that the cats aren’t leaving him and returning to them, they’re slowly trickling out of the café until it's only the two of you (one of the staff members, who was apparently pushed by the other to come and talk to you, is quickly told, by you, that you’ll pay more by the end of the day to cover whatever losses they might acquire from the lack of clients, which makes them leave you two hurriedly)

you can only laugh when he stares at the cats and the empty room, then at you, almost clueless as to why you’re laughing

but you start talking and discover that you really like spending time with him

you talk about your families, your dreams, because he says that he doesn’t have any (liar), friends (again, liar) etc.

you really like that he cares about his family, even if it’s a bit twisted (good intentions, bad plan, especially when it comes to Killua)

since he was forced by his family to respect the tradition and become an assassin, he’s surprised when he finds out that despite the possibility of following the family tradition, you’re also allowed to make your own decisions, as long as you talk about them with your family

something that amuses you a lot is when Illumi receives a message from someone called Pain-in-the-Ass Clown, saying How’s your date going, Illumi-chan?  ⭐ ￣ ∀ ￣ 💧

and he explains that it’s someone really annoying who always bothers him

So, not your friend?

Never.

anyway, that was one of the first of many dates, with Illumi almost always letting you choose, mostly because you knew he’d choose some really fancy place and you wanted to have fun with him and get to know him naturally

despite his lack of expressions, he is having fun and likes that you’re happy (appreciates the fact that you are so... lively, you’re like complete opposites and apparently fit like two puzzle pieces)

Zeno is the one who pretty much declares that you’re the OTP

one of your dates definitely consisted in the two of you going on a mission together, just to see how you’d get along in a professional situation

100/10, no dilly-dally, professional from the beginning to the end of the mission, but you laughed and teased Illumi about how serious he was - as if it was just another normal day of meeting up after work... not after killing someone

the marriage proposal is more and more prominent in Illumi’s head and the rest of the Zoldycks and he’s wracking his brain trying to think of how to ask you

the two of you have bought an apartment and moved in to get used to living together and it’s going pretty well (definitely took a bit of convincing to get Illumi to agree, but he feels so human and happy with you that he just can’t say no and even his mother likes you, somewhat)

some nights are spent inside, watching movies, playing board games (he beats you here), video games (Illumi sucks at those) or cooking (he’s mostly watching and trying to remember everything, but man, too much work, he’s used to his butlers), while others involve you two going to bookstores, cafes, the zoo, even concerts/festivals

so, he decides on something that he read about on the holy Internet: Illumi had gone out that day and told you he’d come by later, but he actually bought you a puppy, who, as soon as it was put down, ran into the house when you squealed and picked it up to nuzzle it while it licked your face and wagged its tail; your fingers felt something on its collar and when you saw a ring, you froze, looking at Illumi without saying a word

he slowly approached you, face as expressionless as always (but he was so, SO nervous) and took the ring off the collar, getting on one knee and saying that you’ve made him feel happier and more human during those few months with you than he’s ever felt in all those years and he hopes that you’ll be willing to share your life with him and allow him to make sure you’ll always feel happy and loved

cue the tears because Illumi’s never said so many heartfelt words in one day and you’d be a monster to say no and extinguish that little sparkle of happiness in his eyes

so you put your puppy down and hug him tightly, kissing his face until he actually cracks a smile when the puppy whines because it wants your attention too

the wedding? Beautiful.

you? Gorgeous.

Illumi? He’s never been happier in his entire life

Hisoka cries at the wedding and is chosen as his best-man, along with Illumi’s brothers (even Killua accepted, especially after noticing the positive change you brought in the family and Illumi)

Alluka is your maid of honour along with Kalluto, because those two are attracted to you like moths to a flame

the reception is memorable, with various friends and family members congratulating you two and wishing you a long and happy marriage

things settle down a bit for a few weeks afterwards, especially after the honeymoon (which was spent somewhere where you could both enjoy some private time away from everyone as a newlywed couple)

and the biggest surprise was finding out that you’re pregnant (lucky~, that’s what Hisoka said when you texted him because yeah, you remained friends, somehow)

Illumi actually hugged you when you told him and kissed you because he was ecstatic

you definitely sat him down and told him that you need to talk with his family so they don’t get any ideas about torturing your child or children since you want them to have a normal, happy childhood

while a bit against it because that’s how he and all his siblings were raised, he definitely understands that it’s not only his decision to make and that he actually doesn’t really want anyone to go through what they did (especially after seeing that yes, even without training like his you can still be powerful and smart and somehow, his)

so, he agrees and tells the rest of the family (Zeno knew what your thoughts would be and never said anything, while Kikyo would probably be on the verge of having a stroke and Silva wouldn’t really care because they have Killua)

they can’t do much in terms of making you accept, especially because you don’t live at the estate and Illumi is loyal to his family, but now he’s got his own and he chooses you and your baby in the end

despite a few arguments with the Zoldycks, *cough* Kikyo *cough*, you still have the support of pretty much everyone else in the family and your own, so you actually can support yourselves just fine

Illumi insists on going shopping for baby clothes with you and is already looking at the variety of toys (he’s not gonna admit that he can’t wait to play with them when he’s spending time with his child because he wasn’t really allowed to have many toys or play with them so they wouldn’t make him stray from his path as an assassin)

likes talking to the baby bump and even sings to it (he’s got a beautiful singing voice and the baby always kicks when he sings something they like, which Illumi always take into account)

protective as hell whenever you’re out and about together and pretty much never lets you leave alone until you have a small argument that you can take care of yourself, after which he lets you be, but still insists on being called once an hour just to make sure and to have his heart put at ease

doesn’t even want to think about your weird craving because eww, some of them are gross (you know it, he knows it, the baby doesn’t care and when you’re hungry, neither do you)

will be there when you’re giving birth because he just wants to meet the baby faster and when he does, he smiles because there they are, his little bundle of joy

just stands and is fascinated by how small the baby is and how cute and squishy they look

it’s a girl, btw

almost always tells you to go to sleep when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, especially because he can’t really sleep and he’s too happy and excited, plus he knows how tired you are

the baby’s first words are definitely dada and her little hands were just desperately reaching out to him (you practised with her whenever you could because you know how enamoured he is with his little girl)

Illumi actually breathed in deeply so he wouldn’t feel like crying anymore and just hugged you both while your daughter was patting his cheek

she inherits his long, black hair and they both spend the most amount of time in the bathroom taking care of it and brushing it

you’re the only one allowed to touch and braid their hair

she definitely likes all her uncles and aunts because they’re all so nice and doting and funny (Hisoka and Killua), while great-grandpa Zeno spoils her rotten

yes, Silva and Kikyo love her a lot as well, but inside they still want her to follow into their footsteps

you laugh at Illumi’s surprised face when your daughter asks you two for a brother or sister

oh boy... he’s gonna die from the cuteness and joy all these babies of yours are going to bring him

THAT was a lot, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!