#i wish i had big luca dreams

[kleptoballs]

My bio says “maybe I’ll post an art” but ive never posted an art. i am a liar

[saturnznct]

he holds the baby for the first time | nct dream

➸ note; hehe bit of a long one bc i love my dreamies <3

➸ word count; 4313 words

➸ lucas, tengfei, moonbyeol, dalgun, chaeyeon, caihong & chunae; aged newborn

➸ warning(s); breastfeeding? labour, c-sections, stitches, injection mention, blood mention

nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

mark

Mark’s entire world had been turned upside down in a matter of a few hours. Just four hours ago, he was working hard at dance practice, and now he was a father. He felt so many things, shock being the most prominent, shared with complete awe and love for you and your new son. The fact that he hadn’t held your newborn yet hadn’t even crossed his mind, he was far more concerned with both of your health and wellbeing, considering you’d had no pre-natal care. The hours dragged on, the amount of nurses and doctors coming in finally beginning to thin out. Your son had been laying on your chest for quite some time, having eaten and been burped already. You were so exhausted, a mixture of the birth and the late hour, but Mark was still wide awake, mind racing. However, managers and staff keep disappearing and reappearing, talking to Mark and whoever was on the phone in rapid speech. Mark could see the way it was affecting you, the way you move to almost protect your baby from the outsiders.  

‘You should get some sleep,’ he murmurs, noticing your eyes dropping closed and then opening again.

‘I can’t look away from him,’ you admit, ‘he’s so perfect.’

‘I know, baby, but you need to rest,’ Mark reaches out a hand and brushes your hair from your face, ‘besides, I haven’t held him yet.’

Your eyes widen a little, ‘oh, of course not, I’m sorry.’

Mark chuckles, ‘it’s okay, it’s important he gets to know his mama. I’ll keep an eye on him while you nap, okay? I’ll wake you if he needs anything.’

‘Okay,’ you sit up slightly. The handover is awkward, it being the first time you’d done it, but eventually Mark has the tiny baby in his arms, kissing your forehead before murmuring a ‘goodnight, I love you,’ and settling into the armchair beside your bed.

‘Love you. Please keep him here,’ you mumble, turning onto your side and closing your eyes.

‘I will, don’t worry sweetheart.’

Mark is quiet for a few minutes, gently yet stiffly rocking the baby back and forth, examining his face and all the details. The baby looked so much like him, and he knew it, feeling an enormous sense of pride at the boy’s identical nose and eyes, that he’d seen in baby photos of his own over the years. Once he’s sure you’re asleep, he begins to talk to his son, wishing the infant to get used to his voice.

‘Hey, baby boy,’ Mark begins, lightly shushing the baby when he fusses, ‘it’s okay, everything is just fine.’

You were just on the verge of falling asleep when you hear Mark’s voice, heart warming at the sound of the love of your life talking to your firstborn.

‘I didn’t even know you existed a few hours ago, but God, I love you. More than anything. You’re so perfect, such a beautiful baby, all from your mama. She did so well, didn’t she? Carried you for all that time… I promise I’ll be here for you, always. Everything I do from now on is for you and your mummy/mommy.’

You still lay awake, eyes filled with hot tears at the pure love that overcomes you. 

Mark is silent for a few moments, staring back into his son’s deep brown eyes, ‘I promise I won’t let you down. I love you, son.’

renjun

This was the moment Renjun had been anticipating since the moment you found out you were pregnant. He’d been terrified at the time, the pregnancy was unexpected and Renjun wasn’t sure he was ready or capable of being a father. At the same time, Renjun’s thoughts were filled with questions and worries about your baby. What would the baby look like? How big would the baby be? Would they come during the day or the night? But his biggest fear of all, was that your baby wouldn’t like him. He didn’t have the best luck with other member’s babies; generally they would cry and protest in his arms. He tried to prevent this, doing any and every bonding exercise with your bump that he could think or read about, hoping that when your son arrived he would feel comfortable and safe with him.

‘Jun?’ You’d been holding the baby for over an hour, having some skin to skin and your first feed. Renjun froze a little at the expectant look on your face, like he knew what you were about to ask.

‘You should hold him.’

Renjun blinks, ‘are you sure? you’re bonding with hi-‘

‘Jun,’ you repeat, softly, ‘he’s your son. He’s not going to hate you. Besides, I want to see my boys together.’

‘Okay,’ Renjun reaches down for the baby on your chest, cringing when the baby whines and fusses, ‘hey, don’t cry, please don’t cry.’

Renjun rocks and bounces him awkwardly but to no avail, and he sends you a look screaming for help.

‘It’s ok, Jun,’ you smile, ‘keep talking to him.’

‘He doesn’t like me,’ Renjun begins to panic, ‘he was happy with you, maybe you should-‘

‘Junie,’ you retort softly, ‘he just doesn’t like that he’s been moved. Keep talking to him, he’ll know your voice.’

Renjun gives himself a mental pep talk, slightly relaxing when he looks at the face of his baby boy.

‘It’s okay, it’s just me, I’m your daddy.’

You give Renjun an encouraging smile, and so he continues, ‘I really hope you like me from now on. Most babies don’t.’

The baby is gradually calming down at his father’s voice, so Renjun keeps talking.

‘Good boy, do you know my voice? I tried to talk to you as much as possible while you were in there so I hope you recognise it.’

The baby is now settled, staring up at his father with big brown eyes. Your heart melts at Renjun’s wide, toothy grin.

‘He likes me,’ he says to you, before turning back to the baby, ‘I think you look like a Tengfei.’

‘I like that name,’ you hum, ‘Huang Tengfei it is.’

Renjun’s smile gets impossibly wider, pride filling his chest knowing he’d just named his firstborn baby boy.

‘I love you so much, Huang Tengfei.’

jeno

You had never felt so at peace. You had just given birth to your first child, a daughter Moonbyeol in your bedroom at home a few hours earlier. Already, Moonbyeol was a very chilled baby, rarely fussing or crying. She was perfectly happy just laying on your chest, staring back at you. Jeno had been laying beside you for several hours now, engaging in hushed conversation with you about your newborn, all while unable to take his eyes off her. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that he hadn’t properly held his daughter, as you’d been snuggled together so close. As time passed, you grew more and more exhausted, the energy you had spent during the birth beginning to weigh you down. 

‘How long has it been since she fed?’ you wonder aloud, ‘the midwife said every three hours..’

‘I think it was at six,’ Jeno says, ’so three and a bit hours ago.’

‘She needs more,’ you mumble, sighing deeply, already pulling your top down to give Moonbyeol access. Jeno helps you guide her head to your chest.

‘Agh,’ the pain is sharp when she latches, and Jeno kisses and rubs your hair in encouragement.

‘You’re doing so well, look at how well she eats.’

‘It hurts so much Jen,’ Jeno’s heart hurts at the look on your face.

‘I know, I know,’ Jeno frowns, ‘it’ll get better, with time.’

‘I hope so,’ you say, ‘I feel sore all over.’

‘You’ve been so incredible,’ Jeno praises, ‘we did so well with her.’

‘Yeah, we did,’ you grin, the and the two of you settle into small talk while Moonbyeol eats. After some time, she pulls away, ready to be burped.

‘I don’t want to move,’ you admit, ‘too tired.’

‘Hey, I’ll take her,’ Jeno offers, ‘you can stay in bed. Plus, I.. I haven’t got to hold her yet.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay, don’t be silly,’ Jeno presses a kiss to your cheek, ‘I’ve been so close this whole time. You should get some rest.’

You suddenly realise how drained and exhausted you truly were, eyes and body heavy with fatigue.

‘I think I probably should,’ you mumble tiredly, ‘Moonie, daddy’s going to get all that horrible air up for you.’

It takes perhaps a little longer than it should have, but eventually the baby is successfully passed into Jeno’s arms.

‘Hey, Moonie,’ Jeno rests her on his shoulder, gently patting her back, ‘you’re so tiny.’

You move to lay down on your side and rest your eyes as Jeno talks to your daughter in a hushed voice.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ Jeno meets his daughters eyes, seeing his own staring back at him, ‘look at those brown eyes! So pretty. No boy will ever be good enough for such a beautiful girl.’

Jeno slowly wanders out of your room and into Moonbyeol’s nursery, wanting to give you some peace to sleep.

‘This is your room,’ Jeno turns the baby in his arms so that she’s facing the majority of the room, ‘this is where you’ll sleep, where you’ll play… I hope you like the way we decorated. If you don’t, we can change it later.’

Moonbyeol’s eyes flicker around the room, although her expression is blank.

‘Look, Moonie,’ he walks towards her unused crib, looking at the silver mobile that hangs over it, white and yellow moon and stars hanging down, ‘it’s like you! You’re our little moon star.’

Moonbyeol burps at that exact moment, and Jeno chuckles, not sure whether he should be offended or not.

‘Well, that says what you think of that.’

haechan

Donghyuck naturally comes across as a conceited and cocky person, you know that’s just his humour. He’s cheeky and bold, but at the same time down to earth and a total sweetheart. He acted quite similarly when it came to his impending fatherhood, on the outside appearing as though he was completely confident, that he would take being a father in his stride. But on the inside, he was terrified. Sometimes he would catch sight of you, his pregnant wife, and would feel a deep sense of dread alongside the rush of love that would bubble up in his chest. When you went into labour while eating dinner together, he thought he was going to be sick, the crashing realisation that this was it. You’d done so well, going through hours of contractions before your son began to struggle, and you were taken into an emergency c-section. You were crying softly as they prepared you for the surgery. Donghyuck emerged from the bathroom in his scrubs to see you laying there, and you immediately you’d reached out for him. In that moment, he knew how much you needed him, how much both of you needed him. In that moment he knew he’d do anything to be the best father and husband.

Your son Dalgun was eventually delivered through the C-section, laying on your chest for quite some time as you were stitched up and wheeled back to your hospital room. Donghyuck hates the look of discomfort on your face as you try to move around on the bed and feed. You’re exhausted, in pain and in need of a good rest, but you had to stay awake for your son.

Donghyuck tries to make himself useful, keeping the hospital room tidy and making sure your water cup was filled and you hadn’t bled too heavily onto the pad beneath you.

Part of him aches to hold his baby boy. He so desperately wants to just reach out and take the baby into his arms, shower him in all of the love he had to give. But at the same time, he didn’t want to. He was frightened that his son would be unsettled with him, that he would do something astronomically wrong like drop him. After some time, the nurse knocks softly on the door, coming to check on your surgery site.

‘Donghyuck,’ you croak, his heart hurting when he sees you laying there, exhausted and in pain with your son on your chest, ‘will you take him?’

‘I-‘ 

‘Hyuck,’ you notice the way he freezes, but he melts and relaxes at your tone, ‘its okay. You’re his daddy. You did so well at the classes.’

Donghyuck shakes himself. You’re vulnerable, you’ve just had invasive surgery and you need him. And he’s terrified of holding his own baby.

‘Okay.’

The nurse helps with the handover as it pains you to lean too far, and suddenly there’s a seven pound baby wriggling around in his arms. Dalgun cries shrilly at being moved, Donghyuck cringing as he wails.

‘Dalgun-ah,’ he clumsily rocks the baby, ‘won’t you be a good boy while mummy/mommy gets looked after? I’m not a stranger, I’m your daddy.’

Donghyuck sways on his feet, soothing Dalgun, ‘your mummy/mommy is so so brave. She is so incredible, Dalgun-ah, she’ll be the best mummy/mommy in the whole world to you, I just know it. And I’ll try my absolute hardest to be the best daddy. I love you.’

jaemin

Jaemin thinks that his daughter’s birth was nothing short of perfect. You had given birth to Chaeyeon in a birthing centre, early in the morning in a birthing pool.

Jaemin had sat right behind you, in his swim shorts, with you between his legs, not even wincing when you near crushed his hands while you pushed. Jaemin had been the one to cut the cord, before the baby was taken away to be weighed and given her first injection.

Jaemin had felt new foreign feeling of resentment towards the nurse, who he knows deep down is just doing her job and ultimately protecting your daughter from disease, but at the same time, she made his baby girl cry.

Chaeyeon is bought back to you, now with a band-aid covering her injection site. Jaemin holds you in his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder and just soaking in your daughters face. For some time, the two of you get used to Chaeyeon, taking in her appearance and mannerisms and sounds. Jaemin doesn’t even really care how dirty the water is.

‘Y/N? Why don’t we get you cleaned up a little?’ the nurse suggests, and you’re more than happy to be helped out of the pool and herded into the shower in the conjoining bathroom. Another nurse had held Chaeyeon as Jaemin carried you bridal style into the bathroom and gently setting you down on the shower seat. He hangs around for a few minutes, eyes darting between you and Chaeyeon’s general direction, clearly conflicted as to who to stay with.

‘Go and be with her Jaem,’ you hum.

’Do you need me?’

‘I’m all good here,’ you answer honestly, ‘I think this may be quite gross, anyway.’

‘Okay,’ Jaemin leans over to kiss your cheek, ‘I’ll look after her.’

‘Oh!’ The nurse left in the delivery room is holding the little bundle in her arms, ‘lets go to daddy, shall we?’

Jaemin beams as his baby girl is handed to him for the very first time. His heart feels like it may burst out of his chest as she gurgles, tiny fists waving around above the pink blankets.

‘Oh, angel,’ Jaemin coos, ‘you’re killing me.’

Jaemin knew that this baby in his arms officially completely owned his heart. He knew it was over for him, that there was nothing he would not do for his little girl.

‘You’re such a pretty girl, Chaeyeon,’ his heart aches at her glistening eyes and nose that mirrors his own.

‘You’ll have so much love in your life. You already do. You have so many uncles who are just dying to meet you, you have a godfather who would do anything for you. I.. I would die for you, I love you more than anything in this world.’

Chaeyeon waves her arm around, peeling back the blanket slightly.

‘Oh, you don’t have any clothes on,’ Jaemin brings her over to the changing table, lowering her down as slowly as he possibly can.

‘Which should be your first ever outfit?’ Jaemin sifts through the folded up baby-grows in the small suitcase you’d brought along. He picks out a white one, patterned with little brown teddy bears.

‘Uncle Mark bought you this one,’ Jaemin buttons up the onesie, ‘like I told you, everyone loves you Chae. But not as much as I do!’

Jaemin nuzzles their noses together, before cradling Chaeyeon in his chest, pressing a kiss on top of her head.

‘I love you, angel. I’ll be here for you always.’

chenle

Chenle was the best partner throughout your entire pregnancy. He did absolutely everything for you and your baby’s comfort, fulfilling your every need and wish, whether monetary, physical or emotional. 

It seemed everything had to be perfect, the quality of your care, your baby’s nursery, your birth plans, everything. If you showed any slight indication of discomfort at any point in your pregnancy, Chenle was instantly at your side, going out of his way to somehow alleviate your pain. He was almost jumpy in that sense.

He was strangely calmer than you thought he would be when you went into labour. You had been taken to the hospital where Chenle and his family had naturally made sure you would receive the best treatment, with a spacious private room and a dedicated team of familiar doctors and nurses. You laboured for hours on end. For nearly twenty hours, you’d suffered through some of the most immense pain imaginable, completely supported by Chenle who fusses over you and holds your hand through it all. Frustratingly, you had been dilating excruciatingly slowly, and eventually the doctors decide a c-section would be best for both you and your baby. 

Your beautiful baby girl joined you in the early evening. Chenle was so overcome with love for his daughter. You both knew that she would be his little princess, that he would spoil her rotten and that nobody would ever lay a hand on her. He came up with the name Caihong, meaning rainbow. She was the rainbow that brightened up his life.

When Caihong came out, they had taken her away briefly to be weighed and checked over, before returning her to you.

‘You did so so well,’ Chenle stands as close to you as he can get, still in his scrubs as they stitch you back up, ’she’s beautiful. I can’t believe it.’

‘I’m so tired,’ you laugh, having been awake for the entirety of your labour, ‘she’s ruined me.’

Chenle chuckles, ‘they’re going to wheel you back into the room once they’re done. We’ll turn the lights down. You can nap soon.’

‘M’kay,’ you roll your head back down to look at your baby, ‘she’s perfect.’

’She is,’ Chenle nods, leaning down and pressing kisses into your hair, ‘I love you both so much.’

The first hour with your daughter is so precious. You are taken back to your private room in your bed, Caihong resting on your chest the whole time. You’d done your first feed, burping her while sitting up in your bed. Once you’d finished, the nurses left, and the three of you were alone together for the first time.

‘Are you tired?’ Chenle asks, running a hand through your hair, fussing over you.

‘I’m exhausted,’ you murmur, ‘never been so tired.’

‘Why don’t I take her?’ he suggests, ‘you can lay down and have a nap.’

‘Are you sure?’ the offer is so unbelievably tempting, ‘I don’t want to just leave you on your own.’

‘I’ll be just fine,’ Chenle reassures you, ‘you just fed her. I can change her myself, if she needs you I’ll wake you.’

‘Okay,’ you nod, moving your arms so that Chenle can easily take Caihong from you.

He grunts dramatically as he raises her up, as though he was lifting some massive weight, ‘hi baby girl.’

Chenle holds Caihong in one arm as he helps you lay down comfortably, reclining your bed back down with the remote so you were laying down.

‘Comfortable?’ Chenle checks, rubbing your upper arm with his spare hand.

‘Yes,’ your eyes are already closed, ‘love you, Lele.’

Chenle grins, ‘I love you too.’

As you fall asleep, Chenle slowly does a few laps of the hospital room, rocking Caihong in his arms. Once he’s sure you’re mostly asleep, and that talking won’t disturb you, he speaks to Caihong in a hushed voice.

‘Hi my little angel,’ he stares into her shining brown eyes, absolutely entranced by her, ‘we’ve waited for so long for you. Ever since your uncle had your cousins, I’ve wanted a baby of my own. And now you’re finally here. You’re already so loved, Caihong. I’ll do anything for you.’

Caihong looks at him almost as if she’s listening and understands what he’s saying. Chenle’s heart seizes and threatens to break out of his chest, he loves her so much. 

‘You own my heart, Caihong. Daddy loves you so much.’

jisung

Jisung was the first to hold his baby girl, and although it wasn’t for long, it was a fact he took great pride in. Jisung had completely frozen up when your midwife had asked him if he wanted to deliver the baby. His mouth had dried up, completely unsure of what to say, until he caught your gaze, face slightly screwed up in discomfort, but still encouraging him to say yes. He had taken the midwife’s offer, and under her guidance, caught your baby girl as she came out. Jisung had worried that he would drop her, due to the baby being covered in blood and various bodily fluids, but thankfully he manages to keep her in his grip, holding her up for a few moments before placing her on your chest.

Jisung didn’t get her back for another hour or so, not that he minded. You handled your first hour of motherhood expertly, Chunae was an extremely calm baby who fed easily. She was so intrigued by the both of you, as you both were with her, her brown eyes studying your faces. Jisung had never felt so many overpowering emotions at once. Firstly the feeling of pride that he’d been the one to bring Chunae into the world, and the fact he had a part in creating what he believed to be the most beautiful baby in the whole world. And of course, he felt such an overwhelming and intense love for both you and your baby, after watching you go through hours and hours of labour and delivery in his family home. You had been giving skin to skin for over an hour before you offered the baby to Jisung.

‘Hey, Jisungie,’ he is immediately by your side.

‘Do you need something? Water? Another pillow? The pad changed? Are you in a lot of pain?’

You smile at how flustered and caring he is, shaking your head, ‘no, I’m alright. I just thought you might want to hold her.’

Jisung softens, heart suddenly hammering in his chest, ‘oh, y-yeah. Yeah, of course I’d love to.’

Jisung leans down and gently picks Chunae from your chest, taking a few moments to get her into a good position.

‘Hi baby girl,’ he murmurs, strangely nervous, as though it was somebody else’s child.

‘Ah, good timing,’ Jisung’s mother suddenly enters the room, ‘I made soup for you Y/N.’

‘Oh, amazing, I’m starving,’ you welcome the bowl of hot soup with both hands.

Jisung wanders the room, rocking the slightly gurgling Chunae in his arms as he approaches the bedroom window. He doesn’t really notice you watching him, his thoughts all consumed by Chunae. His mother even points it out, catching your eyes and nodding towards him. 

‘Hi,’ Jisung shakily removes a hand from underneath her to play with her own tiny hand, melting when she curls her hand around his finger.

‘You’re so small,’ he whispered, ‘like a doll. And so well behaved too, you didn’t cry one bit when I picked you up.’

Chunae just looks back up at him, and Jisung gently wipes at the spit collecting at her mouth with a cloth.

‘I promise I’ll look after you angel,’ he nuzzles his nose against hers, ‘no one will ever hurt you. They’ll have to go through me first.’

Jisung suddenly can’t get the image of his baby girl as a teenager out of his head, his getting her heart broken by some worthless teenage boy. He imagines comforting her, giving her encouraging talks and building her confidence back up, utilising the skills he would have learned as a father to his little girl over the years. But for now, he knows nothing, only what he has read in pregnancy and parenting books.

‘I don’t know much,’ Jisung rubs his thumb up and down on her face, ‘but I promise I’ll be the best father I can possibly be for you. I’ll try so hard to do everything that’s right for you. I already love you more than anything in this world.’

Chunae yawns, tiny fists flailing weakly as she does.

‘Am I boring you?’ Jisung chuckles, ’you can’t be tired, not when I’ve just got you.’

‘You should sit down with her,’ you suggest, taking a short break from your soup, ’she’ll fall asleep on you.’

‘I think I may fall asleep also,’ Jisung chuckles, although settling into the armchair near your bed. 

‘Group nap?’ You suggest, your own eyes feeling heavy.

The group nap very quickly ends in Jisung’s mother removing the sleeping Chunae from a sleeping Jisung’s chest to lay in her crib. 

[notjustjavierpena]

Terror

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost

A/N: By popular demand! This turned awful in my brain very quickly. I know instantly that this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, so please read the tags before jumping into this. Not everything is fun and games for hubby. 

Summary: Javier doesn’t think that he has nightmares about Colombia anymore until he suddenly does. The difference is that he also has you and the family that you have given him.

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18, graphic description of gun violence, some gore, PTSD night terrors, major character death (but not really), panic attacks, domestic, cuddles, hurt/comfort, family time, love confessions, pregnant reader dies in this dream

Word count: 2.6k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54592621

Terror

Javier searches and searches to no avail. He walks with frantic determination between burning cars and bullet shells, occasionally hitting the latter with the tips of his shoes so they go cascading down the asphalt with a clinking sound. He doesn’t trip on them though, as his steps are sure, moving around the chaotic scene of the aftermath of an ambush by grabbing at whatever he can to push himself forward. 

He knows where he is but he doesn’t remember getting here, and he has no clue if he was involved in the shooting that has evidently occurred here. However, when he looks down at himself, he finds no bullet wounds and no tactical gear either. So why does he think that you are here? He yelps as he accidentally grabs the hood of a car that seems to have been burning for a while, the metal so hot that it scorches his skin. The heat radiating from the vehicle makes his body prickle with sweat, his shirt clinging uncomfortably to his skin that is riddled with damp sweat from anxiety. He clutches his burnt hand and continues down the never-ending street. 

Where are you? Where are they? He searches through several empty cars, nearly ripping the doors off of their hinges to get to you quicker. Perhaps you know where they are but he doesn’t even know where you are. 

When he gets to what feels like the hundredth car, finally reaching the end of the road that somehow resembles a labyrinth despite only moving forward, panic has started to rise in his throat. He calls for you but you don’t answer, and then he calls for Lucas in case he has managed to hide himself and his sibling somewhere. 

“Lucas! It’s alright, it’s just me!” He yells out but it’s just the echo of his own voice that answers him, “You can come out now, it’s over, te prome— (I promi—).”

Javier has turned the corner. It is the sight of Horatio Carrillo’s face that makes him realize that this isn’t real. Carrillo is dead, and he has been for nearly twenty years. Javier will never forgive himself for not having been there. He should have been there with everyone. It should have been him; he had had nothing waiting for him back in Laredo. 

In front of him, a row of children and teenagers are kneeling but he doesn’t recognize any of their faces. He has seen this scene before. He remembers doing nothing back then, and the thought is enough to make his gut twist with guilt and nausea even if nothing could have been done to change Carrillo’s attitude towards the kids. He hears a gunshot and a young child falls to the ground, head split open from the way the bullet has torn through soft, young flesh. He flinches in a way that he didn’t back then, in a way that only a man who is a father can. 

Carrillo’s blank and indifferent stare terrifies him to the point where he wishes that he could wake up. It is clear that this is a nightmare, so why hasn’t he woken up yet? Aren’t you supposed to wake up when you have figured it all out? He tries pinching his arm but nothing happens, and the claustrophobia of being stuck in his own head makes his chest constrict and his heart, too big for his rib cage by now, hammer with the speed of a hummingbird’s wings. 

The stare he is watching is not one of being rid of emotion but rather the look that washes over a face when the person it belongs to is dead. His old colleague is standing in front of him in a zombie-like state and Javier cannot shake the feeling that Carrillo looks less like a person and more like a thing. 

“Carrillo,” he says sternly. On the ground, the blood oozes towards his feet and he shifts to avoid it soaking through his shoes. 

His colleague turns to him but doesn’t say anything. He still has the weapon in his hand, arm stretched out, and pointing the gun at the row of innocent children. Javier speaks quietly despite his anxiety, “C’mon, they’re just kids. Look at them; they’re just ki—“

He turns to look at the kneeling figures but the faces aren’t unknown to him anymore. His blood runs cold at the sight of his eldest son who has his arms stretched out to hold Inés close to his body, effectively shielding her from any shot that may be coming at her at any moment. 

“Lucas,” he croaks, “¿Dónde está tu madre (Where is your mother)?”

“I don’t know, Dad,” his son replies, “I’m scared.” 

“I know, don’t worry, I— I’m gonna take care of it,” he replies with a dizzying heartbeat followed by the urge to throw up. 

It’s then that you appear too. His heart skips a beat as you materialize right behind your kids, pregnant with his child and vulnerable as tears stream down your cheeks. Your arms are in front of you, wrapped around your children as you try to protect them while whimpering in a way that makes Javier more than desperate. He tries to sound more assertive than anxious but listening to his own voice, he doesn’t feel very successful. He turns back to Carrillo who hasn’t moved the firearm even an inch, “For fuck’s sake, get that gun away from my family!”

“Están trabajando para Escobar, Peña. Si quieres justicia, entonces esta es la única manera (They are working for Escobar, Peña. If you want justice, this is the only way),” is the only reply he gets. Carrillo spits at the ground.

Javier takes a step forward but suddenly, a shot is fired at his feet and he is forced to jump back with his hands in the air. His eyes are pleading, his voice wavering, “Jesus Christ, Carrillo, they’re not working for him. Put the damn gun down! They’re mine. They are my kids. You’re pointing a gun at my wife!”

Lucas shifts on his spot on the ground. His knees can barely hold himself up anymore, gravel gnawing at his kneecaps but Javier holds out a hand to stop him, “Don’t move, mijo (my son). I know you’re scared but—“

But Lucas’ eyes are wet with terrified tears. He panics, throws himself to the side to crawl away and the ghost of Javier’s previous colleague seems to come to the conclusion that it is too risky to attempt a shot in the boy’s direction in case he misses, so instead—

Javier flinches at the loud sound of the gun going off. You lie on the ground in the next moment. He lets out a cry of anguish, crawling across the gravel road to get to you until his hands are scraped and his knees are dirty. The love of his life and his unborn child.  

“No,” he yells as tears spring from his eyes. He clutches at you whilst you breathe rapidly and try to hold onto him as well but your grip is slowly loosening on him with every beat of your heart. He can see the way your pulse slows in how your clothes soak slower and slower, knows where it is going. You try to say something but he cannot understand it, your voice having been replaced by gurgles of blood, “No don’t try to talk, baby. Shit, I— look, it’s not even that bad. Shh, it’s okay, baby. It’s not even that bad, it’s fine, you’re gonna be fine, mi vida (my life). You and the baby. I promise.” 

The same blank stare as the one that Carrillo sports washes over your face. He says your name over and over, “Mi amor (my love), no, no, look at me. No, no, no no no.”

Inés has started screaming in panic. She’s crying for you in the most heart-wrenching manner, terrified when you don’t react to her words like you always do. Her pitch climbs with each passing second but Javier has no strength to soothe his daughter because he yells your name until it feels like he cannot breathe. 

Lucas yells for his mother in the background. The agony of hearing his children cry mixed with hearing you say nothing is too much for him. He panics, shakes you violently— 

He jolts awake in the next moment to the sound of your voice. Fear still has him in its grip and leaves him disoriented, ready to fight whatever comes his way. He hyperventilates until he feels lightheaded and tries to figure out where he is, beads of cold sweat having collected on his forehead during his restless sleep.

“Javi,” you say with a hand on his shoulder and he whips his head around to face you. A moment ago, your eyes had been glazed over by death.

Immediately, he grabs your wrist in an iron grip. You place your other hand on top of his, speaking softly, “Javier. Let go.”

“Are you alright?” He chokes out and grips you harder, eyes wild in the dimly lit bedroom. He wants to run a million miles, “Are you alright?” 

“I am okay, baby. We’re both safe,” you reassure him with a hand on your pregnant belly. Tears start to roll down his cheeks. He is unable to shake the image of you lying dead on the ground, “Shh…”

“Are you sure?” He whimpers, eyes flickering from your face to your stomach and back to your face again. 

“Yes. It was just a bad dream. It was just a nightmare,” your voice is still ever so gentle and nowhere near the way it had been in his state of terror. He releases the clutch on your arm and you carefully run a hand over his forehead, “Breathe. Hold my hand. Tell me you love me.”

You offer your free hand to him and he carefully takes it, trying to convince himself that you won’t slip away from him in the dark bedroom. You squeeze his hand slightly. It’s a silly thing you came up with years ago. 

“I love you,” he says quietly, already feeling a little better but when you say it back ever so gently, he finds himself bursting into tears. He cries and it is the kind that comes from the very bottom of one’s lungs; frantic and breathy sobs that sound almost painful.

He thought that the nightmares had stopped. They had been bad when he first met you, and he connected it to his decreasing alcohol consumption because back in Colombia, he was sometimes too boozed up to even dream. However, meeting you - marrying you - had been a glimpse into a future where he could get better because you were together. So why does his brain still do this once in a while? 

“Pensé que te había perdido para siempre (I thought I had lost you forever),” he sobs when you engulf him in your arms. He rests his head against your soft chest, grabbing onto whatever he can of you to make sure you are real. It’s only times like these when his strong, broad hands feel unsure on your skin. 

“Oh, baby. I’m right here,” you rock him carefully in a way that a mother does, “I’m not going anywhere, te prometo (I promise you).” 

“No puedo vivir sin ti (I can’t live without you),” he continues. You reassure him that he won’t have to, that by then, someone will have discovered eternal life or made all of you into kind-hearted robots. Despite the chuckle he lets out, you also let him cry for as long as he needs to. 

It takes you a while to calm him down again, resting your chin on top of his head as he lets himself fall into you instead of going out of his mind. He mumbles, “Where are the kids? Where’s Inés?”

“They’re in bed,” you promise him, arms cradling him and rubbing his back until his breathing starts to slow again, “They’re okay. They’re just asleep.”

Except they are not asleep. Your hand stops moving on his back, and he looks up at you to find your eyes on the door. 

“Inés. Lucas. Stop standing at the door,” you say gently. 

“Sorry,” they say in unison.

Relief floods Javier’s system at the sound of his children’s voices. His chest expands as he breathes in deeply for what feels like the first time since he woke up. He watches their little faces, hears the click of the lamp on your nightstand as you turn on the light. 

“Is Daddy okay?” Inés asks carefully. Her eyes tell Javier that he has noticed the tears on her father’s face.

“We heard you yelling,” Lucas elaborates to his father, “Inés didn’t want to go in here alone. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sweetie,” your voice is sweet and calm. It is in these moments that he loves you the most; when you prove to be the anchor in any storm, knows that the only times he might actually get a good night's rest is when you are right here beside him. 

“Come here, mis amores (my loves),” he scoots a little away from you to open his arms. His children look uncertain for a moment but then Inés rushes forward to climb into bed and into his embrace. Lucas follows a moment after, the both of them earning a kiss on top of their heads. 

Inés’ eyes are wide as she stares up at him, “Papá, you scared me.”

“I had a bad dream,” he explains to both of them and attempts to smile, pulling them closer to his chest. They make faces as they are squished but he doesn’t let go, “but I’m okay now. I’m sorry for waking you.”

“Then why are you crying?” Lucas gets out of the embrace to study his face, shocked to see the tears running down until they drip down from his chin. 

“Daddy! You are crying!” Inés parrots her older brother as she notices too. She kneels in front of her father and tilts her head. 

“I am?” He asks, pretending not to know. Inés’ tiny hand reaches to wipe a few tears away without much success and his heart clenches in his chest with how lucky he feels to have such a beautiful family. 

“It’s okay to cry,” Lucas explains softly, “That’s what Mom says.”

“Alright, let’s give your father some space,” you lock eyes with your husband, cup his cheek for a moment before brushing away the last traces of tears from his face with the back of your hand. He smiles at you and it is completely genuine for the first time. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” Inés protests loudly.

“What if you both sleep in here for the rest of the night?” You bargain whilst still smiling at Javier, however a little more goofily now, “Just for tonight.”

Lucas is already crawling under the covers to cuddle up next to you, and Inés lays down next to her father. It takes a moment of quiet chatter and soothing caresses to make them both fall asleep again, their bodies exhausted from being awake in the middle of the early hours of the morning. 

Javier can’t fall back asleep but from the way you breathe, he can tell that sleep hasn’t found you either.

Outside, the first light of dawn has begun to filter through the curtains. There’s a warmer glow in the room now, and he peeks at you from where he lies, looking like someone catching a glimpse of their crush. 

"I love you," he whispers, his voice barely audible. 

You turn your head to face him and smile tenderly, the morning glow illuminating you from behind. You are so beautiful, he thinks, beautiful and pregnant, and he is so lucky. 

Your voice is filled with genuine happiness, warm and loving. You look down at your sleeping children, place a hand on your bump, and then look back up at him, "We love you too.”

.

.

.

FOLLOW @notjustjavierpena-fics AND TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS 💖❤️💖❤️

[hornedqueenofhell]

Steddie Sick fic pt. 3

Pt 2

When they make it to the parking lot Steve is clearly having a time freeing himself from octopus Eddie who has decided to latch onto Steve with a single-minded determination. Gareth wishes he had a camera.

He can’t see what Harrington does to make Eddie let go but whatever it was was very effective as Eddie finally releases his grip and allows Steve to lay him down in the backseat. Dustin hands his keys back and accepts a hug from Steve before the freshman trots back over to them as Jonathan pulls into the parking lot. The boys wave to each other and then Steve is gone, taking Eddie with him.

“You think he’ll be okay?” Grant asks worriedly, they did just hand Eddie the Freak Munson, weak as a kitten, off to King Steve. The enormity of what just happened starts to hit them all and they start to panic.

“Oh fuck, oh god what if he kills him?”

“He wouldn’t do that right? The kids wouldn’t have called him if he would, right?!”

A sharp whistle cuts them off and they all turn to Lucas who pulls his fingers from his mouth, he gives them all a disappointed look, his hands settling on his hips like a small, angry soccer mom. “Steve is getting certified as an EMT. He’ll keep Eddie safe.”

“Why didn’t you just say so?” Gareth explodes, he was ready to tear his hair out worried about his friend.

“Steve doesn’t know that we know.” Mike says as he hands Dustin his backpack, Will is already off to go talk to his brother.

“Huh?” The band collectively replies.

“He’s scared he’ll fail. Doesn’t want to tell anyone until he’s sworn in, like there’s any chance he won’t be top of his class. He doesn’t know that we all know already, we’re planning a big party for him once he graduates. Of course Dustin has all the subtlety of a brick to the face so how Steve hasn’t figured out that he knows yet is the real surprise.” Lucas explains, giving Dustin some major side eye.

“Hey!”

Well that was kinda reassuring, didn’t people who did medical stuff have to take a vow to not hurt people or something like that?

“What’s going to happen when Eddie wakes up?” Oh boy.

~O~

Munson was scary light as Steve got him through the front door and onto the couch. He’d mumbled a few things into Steve’s neck when he got jostled as Steve kicked the front door closed behind them but settled down again shortly after.

“What was that?” He asked as he pushed Munson’s sweaty hair off his forehead.

“Had… dream…like this.” He mumbles and yeah Steve needs to get his fever down. He walks into the kitchen and finds a frozen bag of peas he used to use for sports injuries and after wrapping it up with a towel from the stove he plops the bag on Munson's face.

"Blindfolding me 'lready, sssso bold."

“You really never shut up do you?” He rests one arm on the couch arm, chin propped on the other with a slight smirk. He leans over Eddie and watches as the older boy drags the bag of peas to his chest to hold against his overheated core and blinks up at him with foggy, wet bambi eyes.

“C’n think… a feww ‘ays.” Munson tries to give him a flirty look back but his fever makes him uncoordinated so it looks more like his face just scrunches up uncomfortably. It makes Steve chuckle softly and Eddie lights up in response.

“Pretty… pretty boy.” He tries to reach up but Steve catches his hand and gently places it back on the pea ice pack. Munson was smart, pressing his wrists against it to help cool him down. 

“I know I’m gorgeous Munson but let’s get you feeling better before you try to kiss me okay?”

“Promise?” Well, Steve feels like he should be surprised but considering Eddie has been basically spilling his sexuality in his fevered state, he’s just going to wait it out and see if Eddie remembers any of this later. And if he doesn’t then he will keep the older boy’s secret.

“We can talk about it when your fever breaks. Do you think you could keep some food down for me or would you rather take some Nyquil and sleep?”

Eddie looks queasy at just the mention of food so it’s not a surprise when he asks for sleep. Steve stands and goes to dig through his medicine cabinet, he knows he stocked up when Dustin had a cold from all the stress after Starcourt. After filling up the little cup with the medicine he fills another glass with some gatorade mixed with ice for him to wash it down.

Eddie’s breathing is still a little shallow when he returns, but hopefully the medicine will help with the fever breaking. He is able to haul Eddie up enough to get him to drink the medicine but struggles with getting him to sip the juice. Eventually Eddie places his hand over Steve’s to steady him so he’s not feeling waterboarded. 

“Spose it’ss too late t’ ask, you di’n’t poison me right?”

Steve sets the glass aside since it seems like Eddie is done drinking. “No Munson, I’m not that jealous of you stealing my kids yet.”

“Nooo, not jel’uss. Kids luv you.” His slurring started to get worse as the meds kicked in.

“We can debate that in the morning, for now let’s get you in a bed.” He takes the melty bag of peas and sets them aside before scooping Eddie up again. Getting up the stairs leaves Steve huffing a bit, Eddie is light but he isn’t weightless. He says as such and gets a bite to the shoulder for his trouble.

“...u callin’ me fat?” He pouts and weakly tries to squirm away.

“No Eddie you’re the prettiest princess at the ball I assure you. I will search the whole kingdom to find out who could ever fit into your scuffed up Docs.” Steve snorts but Eddie looks pleased as punch at Steve’s proclamation.

“Damn straight.” Eddie sighs tiredly, his head lolling against Steve’s shoulder. “Don’ wanna wake up.”

“Wake up from what Eddie?” He asks as he lays Eddie in the guest bed, he kneels down to tug off Eddie’s boots and set them aside. Talking to Eddie is like conversing with a sleep talker at this point.

“Dream, you bein’ niccce.”

“What would you like me to say in this dream of yours then? Before you wake up.” He asks, looking up at Eddie from where he’s kneeling in front or the other, hands gripping his shins to keep his balance. He’s not expecting Eddie to reach out and touch his cheek with icy fingers.

“Ssssuch a crussh on you…school.” 

Steve’s cheeks explode with color at that admission and he quickly stands up to lay Eddie down and tuck him in. Eddie is out as soon as he hits the pillow. Steve runs a hand through his hair and sighs as he watches Eddie Munson curl around his pillow in his sleep and let out a loud snore.

Shaking his head he leaves the door cracked open and heads back downstairs to clean up and watch some tv before bed.

Pt 4

[rogueddie]

The entire group hadn't been back to Hawkins, all at once, in nearly 20 years.

The last time they were truly all together was the Christmas before Eddie left for Chicago and Nancy left for college, back in 87, the first to 'escape'. Though, it didn't take many years for everyone else to follow their lead.

Steve is the only one who stayed behind. But he didn't think it was all that bad. Robin had moved back to Indy city once she finished college, so she visited often. He's not truly alone, even if it does feel like it... most of the time.

2007 is a good year though. It's the first year that Eddie comes back to Hawkins. They've been having little reunions with as many of the group as they can, every Christmas. But there's always a few people too busy- Eddie is always one, always on tour or writing or recording.

Not this year though. And Steve is finally excited, looking forward to something so much that it buzzes under his skin.

The others are already there once Eddie arrives, the last to arrive. Steve reluctantly hangs back, trying to downplay his excitement as he watches Dustin and Erica shove their way ahead of the others, trying to greet him first.

He looks great, Steve notes. Healthy.

"And Harrington," Eddie finally greets, already saying his hellos to everyone else. "I see the crows feet only add to your charm, shame on you."

"Yeah, it's good to see you too."

Eddie laughs, eyes scrunching up, dragging Steve into a hug. Steve is happy to note that he lingers, forehead pressing down against his collar for a moment before he steps back.

"Come on, it's Christmas Eve! We're all together, at long last! Put some music on, get the alcohol!" Eddie snaps.

Everyone does as asked and, soon, Steves usually cold, empty house is full of music and laughter. The burn of cheap alcohol warming his stomach and the smell of Eddie and Argyles weed filling the air are an old but familiar comfort that he hadn't realized how much he'd been aching for.

Steve sits in the corner, on his own.

For a moment, he just wants to watch everyone else. To look around his living room, so full of people that Mike, Robin, Argyle and Lucas are sat on the floor. So full of people that Max had grabbed El with shaking hands, pulling her onto her lap, coaxing her into sharing her wheelchair.

As soon as Eddie wiggles out of the corner he'd squeezed himself into, Mike and Lucas are fighting for the space. Mike only wins, sitting down on the sofa with a smug grin, before Will helps him.

Eddie sits down on the little side table, next to Steve.

"How've you been holding up?"

"I've been good. Not as good as you, though. The Rolling Stones, huh?"

"Oh, uh, you saw that?" Eddie smiles a little sheepish. "Yeah, it's... it's been getting crazy. I don't know how it happened. One day we're a small, underground thing and the next, we're almost mainstream."

"Underground," Steve parrots, snorting. "Your first single was played on the radio. You guys have always been big."

"You listen to us, Harrington?"

"Of course. And, you know, I have a first name."

"Really?" Eddie gasps, throwing a hand to his chest. "By the Gods!"

"I know, crazy!"

They fall silent, watching the new little fight breaking out. By the yelling, Steve guesses that Dustin stole one of the pieces of candy that Mike is eating.

"I missed this," Eddie quietly admits. "I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner."

"Nah, you were busy with-"

"I wasn't. I wasn't busy. I lied to just... avoid this. Avoid Hawkins. And it's... it's not good being back, I won't lie. But it's... seeing the kids again, seeing- seeing you... it's..."

Steve waits a moment. "What?"

"It makes it worth it. It makes me wish I never left."

"You had to. Corroded Coffin was your dream and you made it happen."

"I know, I just... sometimes I wonder. You know, maybe I could've been happier here. Maybe I could've... I don't know."

"Maybe. But you're happy now, right? And you're so successful! You're doing everything you said you dreamt of doing."

"Mhm..." Eddie hesitates again, for another long pause. "Robin said that you... you're bi."

"Yeah?" Steve frowns, turning to face him a little, wondering where he's going.

"I keep thinking that, I don't know... maybe if I'd stayed..."

Steve nearly presses a hand to his chest, so sure that his heart must have missed a beat. "Wh-what? We... we could've..."

"Yeah, maybe," Eddie whispers. He tugs a strand of hair in front of his face, eyes peaking out at him. "It's just a thought. Or something. I don't know."

"I mean... you're here now."

"What, you wanna give it a shot?" Eddie laughs, shaking his head. "We're going on tour again, in a couple weeks. There's no point in-"

"There is. I mean... if you want to try, I'm willing to, like, put in the effort. We could make it work."

Eddie laugh turns into more a sigh, an almost dreamy look taking over his face. "You're sure?"

"I am." He reaches over, grabbing his hand. "I really am."

"Steve Harrington... Merry fucking Christmas to me, huh?"

[toasttt11]

adam’s debut

October 12, 2023

Adam let out a breath wiping his tear away having just had his parents on the screen as they wished his a happy birthday and debut day.

Adam felt his chest trembling as his baby sister went onto the screen, “Hi A.” Gemma smiled softly at the camera making sure her Columbus Blue Jackets hoodie that she stole from Adam was seen on camera. Adam smiled softly at the sight of his sister having missed her more than ever lately.

“It’s your big day A and you deserve every moment of it. You’ve worked so hard your whole life and the dedication and passion you have for hockey it’s inspiring and i can’t help but thank that i got grow up watching it all and being able to learn from you,” Gemma smiled softly as the screen trying to keep her tears in, Adam tears falling down his face watching his sister on the screen, “Adam, you and Luca have always been my biggest role models and watching you accomplish your dreams, i couldn’t be prouder of you. So enjoy this buddy and i love you lots A, Happy Birthday.”

Gemma smiled at the screen once more before blowing a soft kiss and stopping the video.

Adam let out a shaky breath closing his eyes to stop the tears and smiled softly remembering all that his baby sister had said.

[autistic-robin]

more dynamics i need to see in st5 for my mental wellbeing

1. el and dustin. that’s it send post. they were genuinely so sweet in season 1 and i miss their mad scientist/test subject vibe immensely. i know el and lucas are going to be paired up this season because of their shared connection (polyamory) to max, but i would love to see more scenes between dustin and el— maybe some lighthearted bonding over their matching leg injuries or daddy issues.

2. mike and robin. i don’t think you understand i need this like i need air. will has already had his gay awakening he doesn’t need a queer life coach!! mike on the other hand is out here in the TRENCHES. this man is down critically horrendously morifyingly BAD for will but is convinced el needs him and that will could never reciprocate his feelings. he needs robin’s gay intuition and advice if anyone does.

3. steve and jonathan. HELLO??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO???? i know this is pretty much guaranteed to happen in st5 because full-circle character development and hammering in themes and blah blah blah but i’m still gonna talk about it because listen. steve got his shit rocked by jonathan one (1) time and immediately decided “fuck my idiot friends” developed a moral conscience and SHOWED UP AT HIS HOUSE to apologize. he wasn’t there for nancy he had no idea nancy was there!!! he bought jonathan a new camera!!! he was so respectful of nancy and jon even when nancy dumped his ass a season later!!! yet we never get closure between him and jonathan or even a conversation and i’m PISSED about it. matt and ross duffer rectify this or else.

4. hopper and jonathan and will. you see the vision. these kids have never had a stable father figure who truly understands them (i love bob but he was only there for st2 and was sweet but naive) and everything they’ve been through. jonathan DESPERATELY needs to be de-parentified and released from the emotional burden of constantly putting will and joyce before his own needs and dreams, and hopper desperately needs to feel like he can protect his family instead of “cursing” them. will needs a loving father figure who supports his queer identity, and hopper only had a fire lit under him in s1 when joyce mentioned it could have been a hate crime. this is like textbook recipe for healing and closure for these characters.

5. joyce and karen? i just think it would be neat. we know karen’s getting more involved this season and i think she should get to be a little gay for joyce as a treat. we had crumbs of their dynamic in s1 and on a more sincere note i honestly think joyce could help give karen the courage to leave ted or demand better from him moving forward.

6. nancy and mike. if they don’t have a genuine conversation i’ll actually be fuming raging pulling my hair out. i get it i get that they’re both emotionally repressed but GOD i wish we had more moments with them talking about their trauma or empathizing with each other’s survivor’s guilt and crippling savior complexes. all the “max and mike are the same character in a different font” business is very valid and i agree madwheeler is like ten shots of espresso injected directly into the bloodstream HOWEVER, nancy and mike’s traumas and emotional issues are so so similar please let them talk about it!!!!

7. steve and robin???? please for the love of god????? literally what the fuck was happening in s4 they were NOT given enough screentime together. not cool. i want them BACK on their queerplatonic bullshit in s5, fully codependent disgustingly clingy like god intended.

8. jonathan and el. i just want them to be siblings together!!! we got a lot of willel sibling vibes in s4 and some sweet jon-and-will moments, but i would love for them to delve into jonathan and el’s dynamic. this girl is a big reason why will was saved in s1 and we just… never really see the byerses address that? jonathan has a lottt of self-blaming tendencies when it comes to will and i’d love for el to help remind him he isn’t responsible for protecting and saving his brother all the time. conversely, i’d love for jonathan to remind el that she’s just a kid and that the weight of the world shouldn’t be on her shoulders. they’re both really soft-spoken and sweet characters with hard veneers and i feel like they’d pair well together for more emotional scenes.

9. literally the entire byers-hopper family they are the heart and soul of the show and i will never forgive the duffer brothers for losing that in s3-4 in favor of expanding the scope of the story. i miss them.

10. steve and el. i would maim and kill for this dynamic actually. both of them are involved in love triangles and have arcs centered around independency and platonic/found familial love, and steve has his whole mom-of-the-group shtick that could be really endearing paired with el’s plucky weird-little-girl vibe. idk i just think they would be a cute team, maybe paired with dustin or lucas.

11. stoncy and robin. literally give me this team or give me death. i miss stoncy’s iconic end-of-season-1 monster-hunting trio dynamic SO MUCH i would give anything for them to go on a sidequest and really just hash it all out with each other. and robin could offer steve moral support and comic relief— while we’re on the subject i would also kill to see her and jonathan interact!! like they are so similar in that brooding-noncomformist way and i feel like they would either immediately gravitate toward each other based on values OR immediately clash due to their personality differences. jonathan is all quiet and avoidant and robin can be… A Lot (said with love) when she’s not masking like s3. i just think they’d be funny together.

12. this is devolving quickly so scott clarke and the party. no i will not elaborate. thank you for your time

[strangermarvelss]

partners?- e.m

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: you've been working together with dustin on some side work and eddie gets jealous

Warnings: bit of angst but not really, wingman!dustin, fluffy end

Request: Yes

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: another lovely request! hope i did your dream justice lol. enjoy! -sava

“Tonight at 7 work for you Dustin?” You ask, lunch tray in hand as you and then freshman boy walk closer to his lunch table. The two of you stop when you approach the well known Hellfire table, you looking up and flashing the boys a smile, your eyes lingering on the repeat senior Eddie Munson for a few moments before hearing Dustin respond.

“Yeah, 7 is good. Can you drive me though?” He asks. 

“How about I just meet you at your house?” You question. You watch him nod and jump for a second, before bidding him and the other boys goodbye and head off to eat with the rest of the cheer squad. You plop yourself down next to the other girls in your usual seat and begin eating your food.

“I’m totally telling Suzie,” Mike teases as Dustin sits next to him. He scoffs at the Wheeler boy and begins unpacking the lunch his mother prepared for him.

“Yeah, like how could you? Does Never Ending Story mean nothing to you anymore?” Lucas says with sarcasm dripping in his tone. The table erupts into a fit of giggles, causing your head to perk up for a moment from your own. You always admired the Hellfire club, even with them being labeled as outcasts and freaks. They were unapologetically themselves and it was something you wish you could do yourself.

“Will you guys give it a rest? She’s coming over to work on our programing project, we just got paired together last period,” Dustin explains to the table. At the head of the table, the Dungeon Master himself was watching the curly haired freshman with an envious look, his big round eyes beginning to twitch. He felt a nudge come from his side and looked over, causing him to drop his bag of mini pretzels on the table.

“You alright there, Eddie?” Gareth asks. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” The metalhead retorts, scoffing and picking his pretzels up and jamming them in his mouth.

“Oh, I don’t know, just saw you staring daggers at the freshmen over there who has plans with your girl,” Gareth responds back. Eddie’s eyes are quick to glare at him as the table falls silent, a few “oohs” scattering around.

“Your girl? You’ve never even talked to her,” Mike says matter-of-factly. Lucas nudges him in his side, cause Mike to yelp out an in pain.

“Wait, Eddie…do you like Y/N?” Dustin asks him. Everyone’s eyes were now on Eddie once again, a blush beginning to form at his cheeks that he quickly tries to wipe away, which ultimately doesn’t help.

“Shut it Wheeler. And keep your voice down Henderson!” Eddie replies, looking over at the sea of jocks in hopes you weren’t able to hear the conversation from where you sat. He watches your eyes beam as you talk with your other cheer friends, the smile on your face stretching from ear to ear as the bow in your hair moves frantically as you speak. Good, you didn’t hear them.

“Eddie’s had a crush on her since last year, but has been too chicken shit to do anything about it. He just stares and hopes from a far,” Jeff explains to the freshmen members. Eddie was getting physically embarrassed, trying to hide his face and reactions from the truth being spilt out into the open.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for cheerleaders Ed,” Dustin says, shoveling a cracker into his mouth. Eddie rolls his eyes and begins to pick at his pretzels a bit.

“Not just any ol’ cheerleader Henderson,” he begins, looking over to the table where you remained. “Just her.”

“Awwww,” the entire Hellfire table said in unison, making Eddie jump from his seat and beginning to throw his trash away.

“Oh bite me.”

The lunch bell springs to life, notifying everyone to stream out of the cafeteria and back to their regularly scheduled academics. One by one, the Hellfire members rise from their seats and discard of their trash, making their way out of the cafeteria in groups. 

“Henderson, wait up,” Eddie calls out, jogging to walk with Dustin towards his next class. “Hey I was wondering, if, uh-you could talk me up to Y/N tonight? You know, casually, make sure its organic. Don’t force it, ya know?” he rambles to the boy. Dustin claps his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and nods.

“Yeah, I’ll see what comes up and make sure to tell her you’re a catch,” he says with a smile. Eddie returns his smile, then flinches when the warning bell rings.

“Shit, can’t be late. Thanks man, I appreciate it!” He exclaims as he scurries down the hall, trying not to be late to Miss O’Donell’s class for who knows however many times now.

———————————————————————————————

You pull up to the address Dustin gave you after school when you were on your way to cheer practice, turning the engine to your car off and climbing out with your backpack in hand. You walk up the path and knock on the door, quickly greeted by a blonde woman with a warm smile. 

“You must be Dustin’s partner, Y/N. Dusty! Your partner is here!” She exclaims. She shifts to the side and her hand motions you to step inside, allowing you to match her smile and step through the threshold. You look around for a moment, taking in the cozy nature of Dustin’s home, with family photos and baby pictures scattered around the living room. It warmed your heart seeing people’s domestic life, especially someone as sweet as Dustin.

“Hey, Y/N! Follow me, my room is this way,” Dustin greets you, that braces filled smile growing on his face. You head down the hallway following him.

“Remember to keep your door open Dusty since you’re in there with a girl!” she exclaims sweetly down the hall. You chuckle to yourself as Dustin turns to you, cheeks bright red and an embarrassed look on his face, causing you to giggle.

“Mom!” He yelps out, his voice cracking a little with the hitch pitch tone. You set you bag down next to you as you take a seat on his desk, looking around at all the posters on his wall and figures scattered across various surfaces. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s all good,” you laugh out, bending down to retrieve your books and pencil from your backpack. The two of you begin to bounce ideas off one another in an attempt to get some kind of footing for your project, the lightbulbs flashing for you both once an idea finally landing. Programming was kind of something you wanted to get into, as nerdy as it might sound. You were feeling a lack of passion lately, with the same routine every day putting you in a slump. Wake up, eat, go to school, cheer practice, the Friday night games for both football and basketball with the change of the season quickly approaching, go home, sleep, repeat. It was getting tiresome and you thought signing up for the new programming elective would be an interesting twist.

You go to put your books back in your bag as the two of you continue to talk, searching for some blank flashcards to write down your idea and some methods you both thought would make for a successful project when your walkman falls out, along with the tape you’d found solace in recently. 

“Is that a Metallica tape?” Dustin asks you. You pick it up and hold it close to you, smiling at the freshman’s question.

“Yeah, it’s been my go to tape for a few weeks now. I’m trying to expand my interests and I really vibe with their music,” you explain, playing around with the tape for a bit before putting it back in your bag. 

“You know,” Dustin begins, shifting a bit on his bed causing you to raise your eyebrows at him. “Eddie, you know Eddie, right? Course you do, everyone does. Anyway, h-he likes Metallica too. I bet he could give you some recommendations for some other bands. Only if you’re interested of course.”

“You really think he’d do that for me?” You question, a blush creeping up your neck and onto the apples of your cheeks, which you try to cover up a bit.

“Yeah of course! He loves giving music suggestions. Why wouldn’t he do that for you?” Dustin asks. 

“I dunno…I just feel like he’d never go for anyone like me-shit, I mean talk to someone like me. He always goes on those rants in the cafeteria about popularity being a construct and how jocks and the, freaks, as he calls them, I don’t think of them like that, don’t get along and, uh. Yeah I dunno,” you ramble on, your hands making weird attempts to distract Dustin from your words as you speak. You scratch the back of your neck, embarrassment seeping into your bones and you feel the boy’s eyes staring at you, his jaw slightly agape.

“Go for anyone like you? Y/N…do you like Eddie?” He questions again. Man this kid had a lot of questions. You turn to look at him, trying to hide the smile on your face as you nod.

“You cannot tell him though. I know your club is close but Dustin, I’m begging you not to say anything, please?” You ask, scooting his desk chair closer to him and placing your hands on his shoulders to show him just how serious you were. He nods and you remove your hands, a relieved sigh quickly soothing you from any worries you had felt within the last few minutes. “Alright, well I should probably get back home and work on my other homework for the night.”

You stand from his chair as you gather the last of your things and walk out into the hallway of the Henderson household. You flash a smile at Dustin’s mother, who was in a rocking recliner chair holding their family cat. You walk out the door and down the path again when you hear Dustin calling after you, turning on your heel slightly to meet his gaze.

“Come sit with us at lunch tomorrow. We can talk more about the project, and maybe Eddie will give you some suggestions on music too,” he offers. You nod and wave him goodbye, hopping into your car with a smile as you turn the engine one once again and pull out of his driveway. 

———————————————————————————————

Smiling at the lunch lady, you take your tray and walk towards the Hellfire table and take a deep breath. Being nervous about sitting with the club was not something you were used to. You knew them all briefly, exchanging pleasantries when you saw them around the school, which made the other girls on your cheer squad question your sanity, but you didn’t care. They were nice guys and you wished the rest of the school could see them that way.

As you approach the table, you see Dustin look over his shoulder and smile at you, waving you over. You return the smile and scoot pass a few people to get to the open seat, which was right next to Eddie.

“Hey guys,” you greet them, setting your tray down and pulling the chair out to plop down in. You notice the guys staring at you, even the frizzy haired metalhead, blinking a few times as if to make sure this was really happening.

“Uh, hey, Y/N. What’cha doin’ at our table?” Eddie asks you, his chocolatey eyes making contact with yours. You feel your heart quite literally skip a beat, never having been this close in proximity to Eddie, only longing and staring at him from a far. His big eyes were intimidating yet hypnotizing, feeling as if you could swim in the brown sea of his irises. You quickly realize you were staring, and snap out of it before it become creepy.

“Y/N and I were going to talk more about our project. Hope you all don’t mind her joining us today,” Dustin answers for you, looking around the table as everyone nods. You look back over at Eddie, who kept his eyes on you for a moment, before being pulled away by Dustin’s voice, discussing the project a little. Picking at your food a bit, you and Dustin come to a mutual understanding of how you want the project to be completed and agree to a schedule so you can both get a good grade when the project comes due in a few weeks.

“By the way Eddie,” Dustin abruptly says with a snap of his fingers, causing you to jump a little. Your eyes look towards Eddie, who stares at the freshman boy with annoyance, making you giggle just a bit. “I was wondering if you had some music recommendations? Y/N here recently got into Metallica and was talking with me about getting some insights on other bands to listen to.” 

Eddie blinks for a second, his eyes darting between you and Dustin for a moment. 

“You, Y/N L/N…like Metallica?” He asks simply, his face deadpanned and voice treading lightly. You nod your head and slowly look away from him, starting to feel slightly embarrassed.

“Uh, yeah. I got into them a few weeks ago.”

“Hmm, interesting. Well I’m not one to judge a book by its cover. So there’s this band called-“ Eddie begins to say, but is interrupted by the sharp sound of the lunch bell. He lets out a dramatic groan and rises from his seat in order to throw his trash away, which you follow suit. 

“Do you want to tell me about them on the way to O’Donnell’s? Since we have the class together?” You ask him, digging your hands into the pockets of your jeans. You watch his smile grow, his dimples coming to life as he nods and begins to walk with you towards class. As the two of you walk out of the cafeteria, Dustin begins to jump around and scream in excitement. 

“My plan totally worked! I am the best wingman ever.”

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Mysterious and Spooky 🖤🕷

can I request something like reader is a new student at Hawkins and they have a personality like Morticia Addams & Eddie falls in love with them immediately?

Requested by anon. 🖤 I hope you enjoy.

Some quotes are by Morticia and I've written them in a different font so you know what ones they are ❤

Likes, comments and reblogs are much appreciated! ❤🙂 I do not give anyone permission to copy my work.

🎃

Talk at Hawkins High School was rife about the new girl y/n. Half the students were fascinated by her and the other half were terrified.

Spooky, kooky and a little mysterious she joined Hawkins in October and set the gossip train alight.

The aura she held was one of confidence, she had a quick wit and entranced those who she met.

Fred had told a sceptical Nancy he was sure she was a witch. Nancy proceeded to call him an idiot.

Jason was torn between thinking she was hot and being seriously spooked out by her while Chrissy was an absolute sweetheart and befriended her straight away.

She walked right into the cafeteria on her first day composed and ignoring the talk that was amped up as she walked over to join Chrissy who had kindly invited her to sit at her table.

Talk ranged from her black knee-high boots, lacy black dress and spider earrings to what lipstick made her lips look that red to other ruder whispers.

"Why do you wear all black. Don't you own any other colours?". Stacy one of the cheerleaders whispered to her and Chrissy told her off for being so rude.

"Black is such a happy colour don't you think? Delightful even". Stacy blinks stunned and she smirks amused.

Well, she did ask.

"I prefer yellow, it's the colour of sunshine". Stacy retorted stifly and y/n looks at her aghast.

"Oh, how frightfully dull. You poor thing". Stacy stares at her stunned and y/n has enough of her gawking and turns away engaging Chrissy in conversation instead.

She was very unaware of the curly brown-haired boy who was gaping at her. If hearts could come out of his eyes they would.

As soon as Eddie spotted her for the very first time he fell in love. He had never seen someone so beautiful in his life.

For the first time in a long time. He was rendered silent and practically floated over to the table she was at, dropping on his knee and gazing at her.

"Jesus H Christ, you're what I've been looking for all my life". She grins.

"So dramatic darling. I love it. My name is yn. What's yours?". She gave him her preferred hand and he kissed it gently.

"Eddie, Eddie Munson and sweetheart you are the queen in my dreams".

Y/n loved to listen to the rumours about herself, she particularly liked the one about her being a witch (She wishes) and that she liked to put a spell on unsuspecting suitors.

Ridiculous of course but the things people liked to believe were outlandish at times.

It could sometimes get annoying though, so she dressed all in black and liked to wear scarlet red lipstick, ruby red nail polish and loved all things spooky and macabre.

What was the big deal? Was she really the most exciting thing in this small town that was meant to be strange itself?

Of course, she knew about the rumours here, missing kid disappears for a week then comes back, spooky woods, possessions, a girl with superpowers that involved psychic abilities specifically telekinesis, monsters and secret experiments.

Just because half the town liked to keep their head in the sand others didn't. Her mother who loved all things supernatural and otherworldly just like she did had gotten all the gossip from her father who joined the police team.

One person whose attention she did love though was Eddie Munson. The minute they met it was like it was fated. Of that, she was sure of.

Speaking of which she spotted Eddie who was surrounded by his sheeples as he liked to call them - the freshman boys Dustin, Mike and Lucas.

"Hi, beautiful". He drops to his knees takes her hand and kisses it, trailing feather light kisses up her arm then pulling her in for a long passionate kiss.

The minute she met Eddie when he wandered over to where she sat with Chrissy on her first day she fell for him.

They had been joined at the hip ever since.

"How's my princess?".

"Oh, my love, this morning I looked out and it was so stormy, the lightning and thunder. The rain? All gloomy and wild, It is rather romantic don't you think? I love it"

He smiles indulgently and kisses her forehead. Others watched them as they passed but the two of them paid the people no mind.

Y/n cups his cheek as he watched her with reverence.

"I love you, my princess". He murmurs into her ear and she grins.

“You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world. I love you to my love”

The three boys stared at each other used to how Eddie and y/n acted but sometimes they were caught off guard.

The two of them really were perfect for each other, soulmates if you will.

In this life and in eternal life too

🖤🎃🍁

[londonharrington]

peace | steve harrington x fem!reader

Steve tells Y/N his dreams for the two of them but she isn’t sure if she’s the right person for the job; she is.

notes: st4 volume 2 spoilers

i’d give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me

“You know, I’ve always dreamed of this.”

The adults (Y/N, Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie) and the kids (Dustin, Lucas, Max, and Erica) were on the way to commence their plans that they made in other to try and hopefully kill Vecna. They were currently inside the van that they stole from Eddie’s neighbors. Steve in the driver’s seat as Y/N sat on the passenger’s seat and the rest of them in the back.

“You’ve always dreamt of driving a stolen van in order to kill a monster from the upside down?” Y/N asked, laughing.

“No. I mean driving a van like this,” he said while grabbing one of her hands and kissing the knuckles. “Yeah, it's silly, but I've actually, I always had this dream that I'd have this really big family.  I'm talking, like, uh, a full brood of Harringtons. Like, five, six kids.” he continued.

“You want six kids?”

“Yeah. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys. And every summer, I figured all of us Harringtons, we would pack into something like this  and… just see the country. You know, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone. End up in some beachside town in California. Spend a week parked in the sand.  Learn how to surf or something.”

“That sounds really nice, Steve. Except for the six kids part. You trying to build a basketball team of something?” she laughed.

“I mean, we had some practice, didn’t we?”

With this, Y/N just smiled at him but kept silent. She knew why he was telling her this. She was part of this dream of his. But Y/N cannot help but feel out of place with this dream. Sure, she would love to be part his dream for the two of them in the future. But she cannot help but feel a little insecure about all of this.

Her thoughts were suddenly pulled away from her as they stopped in front of the Creel house.

Y/N cannot help but pray to whatever god is out there to help them succeed in whatever plan they have.

♡ ♡ ♡  

Y/N, Steve, Robin, and Nancy were on their way back toward where came form, after being strangled by one of Vecna’s tentacle things for god knows how long. After being let go by said tentacles, Y/N cannot help but hug Steve as he soothed her back, whispering sweet nothings to her ear.

The four of them suddenly heard Dustin shout for help as they saw Eddie on his lap, trying to fight for his life. Steve suddenly let Y/N go as he helped Dustin carry Eddie back to their Hawkins.

When they got to Hawkins, Y/N and Nancy immediate started to contact the people they knew who worked for the government (with the years they’ve spent in dealing with the supernatural things in Hawkins, obviously they have contacts in the government).

“Hey, they said they’ll clear Eddie’s charges and they’ll compensate him for his troubles,” Nancy said. Y/N sighed in relief as she sat down on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs.

“You make him really happy, you know?” Nancy suddenly said.

“Huh? What are you on about?”

“Steve. You make him really happy.”

“You’re just saying that, Nancy.”

“It’s true! I’ve never seen him that happy! And he really loves you, like crazy. You know last night, when you were left to babysit the kids when we went to the upside down? The one where we got stuck? Steve kept muttering how much he wishes you were there so you can make the mood better! Eddie had to hit him in the head just for him to stop,” Nancy said laughing. She suddenly stopped as she quickly muttered a goodbye to Y/N as she left.

Y/N was confused until she saw Steve walking towards her.

“Hey, can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“I think I scared you when I told you my dream. Listen, we do not have to do any of that. I just want to be with you until the end of time. With or without kids,” Steve rambled as he grabbed her hands into his.

“Steve. I would love nothing more than to fulfill that dream of yours, because frankly that’s also my dream,”

“But?”

“What if I’m not good enough for your dream? Like what if we do get married and have children, but in the middle of it, you find somebody much better than me?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I’m not leaving you, Y/N.”

“You’re just saying that now, Steve. I’m not perfect like the other girls. Who knows what you’ll feel in five or ten years,” Y/N just rambled, trying to avoid his eyes.

“Listen. Y/N, I know you’re not perfect. Heck, nobody is. But you are perfect for me. And that is enough for me to know that I’ll be yours forever and ever,” Steve smiled as he placed his forehead onto hers, rubbing their noses with one another.

“Promise?”

“I promise, with all my heart.”

“Can we name one of our children after my mom?”

“As long as we get to name one of our children after Dustin,” Steve replied, kissing her forehead again.

“Huh, why?”

Steve went on a story that happened even before they got together. Y/N felt reassured that Steve will be there for her, no matter what.

Nothing and no one will stop them from loving each other. Not now, not ever.

♡ ♡ ♡  

taglist in the reblog

add yourself to my taglist

[dollywheeler]

September 29th, 1996

And I say hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey I said "hey, what's going on?"

I've had this song stuck in my head all morning, still dancing along to it as if I'm still in the gymnasium, my gold dress swirling around me. I don't know why this song - it's not particularly romantic, or fitting to the occasion, doesn't sum up how the evening had felt. Yet, it had been the most magical moment of the entire night.

One moment, dancing with Daniel to Duran Duran, then this song came on, the slow start meaning we didn't break apart yet, trying to stay close as long as possible, but when the chorus hit the entire hall threw their heads back, screaming along in a messy harmony. It felt like a dream, didn't feel quite real, like some kind of movie, when your heart feels full even though you're just watching it play out in front of you. Except, this time I was in the middle of it, screaming along with everyone else, and it felt like I was floating, wishing the moment could less forever.

That's not to say the rest of the evening wasn't just as wonderful. Daniel took me to an actual restaurant, which was a nice change of pace from the dinner, but I honestly can't tell if the food was even worth it. My stomach was too busy swirling with nerves, and I could barely get any food past my lips because we were too distracted talking and laughing. It was wonderful - he was wonderful, looking dapper in his suit and glinting golden in the candle light. As far as first dates go, I'm sure it couldn't have gone any better. Not that I'd know, as this was my first first date, but it felt like a dream, like something that couldn't possibly be real.

It was the perfect blend between familiar and exciting - the comfort of someone you already know, someone you already love spending time with, mixed with the nerve-wracking thrill of a new context, of possibility.

We were having such a great time that we were late to the actual dance, having lost track of time completely during our conversation. Whitney gave me this knowing look about it - I don't think she would have believed me if I'd told her we'd just been talking.

Anyway, we danced and we laughed and gossiped and I didn't even care that Mike and his 'party' or whatever was there. I'd already realised I'd have to get used to them being around the school in every facet - that includes chaperoning school events. The night was too perfect though, and I was not going to let anything darken my mood.

I did get to talk to Max though, and thank her for the birthday gift. She said she'd mostly just said 'yes' or 'no' to things Mike had picked out and it was no big deal but that she was glad I liked it. I also used the moment to ask about everything else - I realised that if Mike won't call to tell her things, I might as well ask someone else for intel. Apparently, Lucas and her still live in Chicago, and she works as a counselor at the blind school she went to after whatever happened had happened. Everyone is always so vague about the details, but I didn't want to ask her directly and force her to relive it. That's one thing that actually is none of my business anyway.

Erica is living with them while she is going to college - she got her Bachelor's last June but just started law school. I can't imagine moving in with Nancy while I'm in college. Don't get me wrong, Nancy's great, but it's college! You're supposed to go out on your own and become independent and stuff. I said as much to Max, but she just shrugged and smiled to herself. She said Erica was happier with them than she'd been at the dorms.

I didn't know how to go from there so I just asked about El. I knew she still visits Hawkins a lot, because opposite to the others, I see her around town sometimes. At Melvalds with Joyce or in the diner with Sheriff Hopper, or alone around the library in the center of town. But there's also stretches of time when I don't see her at all. According to Max she takes a bunch of classes at the community college, but also travels a lot - bouncing between Chicago and San Fran and New York. Max said that whenever Dustin or Jonathan and Nancy have to travel for work, she usually tags along too. I don't know why or how she does all of that, but it sounds like a dream. Yet, at the same time, I think I'd personally hate it.

She seemed happy enough though, and it's obvious she is happy. From across the room I could see that, as always, her smile was wide and her skin warm with a tan, her hair pinned back with clips that clashed with her new pink highlights. Most of the chaperones hadn't bothered dressing up, but she had clearly thought about her outfit, each item carefully picked out to form a particular look, even if it was just jeans and a colorful sweater.

I didn't want to outright ask about Mike or Will, mostly because I know what they're doing right now and asking about Mike felt too much like snooping. Max didn't seem like she was going to mention it on her own, and before I could make up my mind on whether I really wanted to know, Dylan came to drag me back to the dance floor.

It was only after we were taking another break some time later that I realised I still didn't know what Dustin or Lucas are doing. I assume Dustin lives in San Fran, as that's the only reason El would go there as often as Chicago or New York, but I don't know what he does there. Probably some kind of tech company or whatever. And I'm pretty sure I heard Mrs. Sinclair talk about Lucas following in his father's footsteps but honestly I don't even know what he does so that doesn't answer any questions.

Might be something to talk about on Friday to fill awkward silences.

Anyway the dance was amazing, and someone must have succeeded in smuggling in alcohol because there was a girl puking in one of the bathroom stalls before 9 pm. She was nice though, told me she liked my dress. Even that felt magical, despite her smudged make-up and loopy expression, the entire night like a daydream where I was floating on air and nothing could ever be wrong.

There was an after party at Selena's house - I swear kids of divorced parents are raising themselves because somehow their houses are always empty at the most opportune times - but Danny and I decided not to go. I didn't want to risk ruining what had been the perfect evening, and I knew I'd only get more tired and everyone else less sober. It also kept the evening quiet, just Daniel and I in the car as he drove me home, drunk on happiness and singing along to the radio. Last night, it seemed, for once, I hadn't cared about missing out. I still don't.

I mean - nothing could have topped Daniel dropping me off at home, getting out of the car along with me as if he didn't know what he was doing either but had seen a few movies, and walked me up to the front door. I knew dad would already be asleep, but mom would be sitting up in the sitting room like she'd done so many nights before, for so many years on end, waiting for her teenager to get home safe.

I had my jacket draped over my shoulders because it wasn't too cold yet and I liked the air against my arms after the crowded gymnasium. Daniel pretended to pull it tighter around me, only to use it as leverage to draw me closer and kiss me. It feels silly writing it down because there's nothing I can say to really describe it. No words that feel right or do it justice, that explain how I'm blushing all over again just thinking about it, my stomach swirling at the recollection.

All I know is that I wish I was still in that moment, still holding his face in my hand, gently scratching my nail over his cheek, submitting the feeling to memory. But I didn't mind when he pulled away, his face flushed and dark eyes shining in the porchlight, because I got to smile at him and he smiled back, blush deepening as he stepped away and muttered a goodnight, dimples digging into his cheeks where I'd held him.

I watched him go before getting back into the house, finding mom asleep on the couch. It was late for her, I realised, even though it was only a little before twelve, and considered the fact she hadn't had to stay up in a long time - not since Mike had left. I didn't want to wake her but knew I had to - if just to let her know I was home and she wouldn't wake up worried.

I still can't quite believe the night was real.

I really should get the reading done for tomorrow, but I don't want to stop thinking about yesterday. Or tomorrow, when I'll see Daniel again.

Love, Holly <3

[ladylooch]

Omg I must see how timo and Liv make up? And what role Emma and Luca (maybe even lio) play in the making up. Maybe like something really big and/or exciting happens in Liv’s life and it makes her wish she had her dad around and Timo finds out and wishing he was there for the important moment. And of course starts to like Luca:))

A/N: This one got loooong. Our sweet girl liv 🥺💜

Liv cannot believe the email that she is seeing. 

She is going to be a published author! Her first publication is going to be a whole freaking book! She lays back, kicking her feet up in the air. She grabs her phone, rolling onto her stomach as she listens to the FaceTime jingle connect to her mom back home.

“Hello Livy.” Emma murmurs into the phone. It is late, Liv realizes now.

“Oh I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No, dad and I were sitting by the lake. How are you?” Liv tries not to let her smile falter at the mention of her still estranged father.

It’s been months since the summer night Liv left home. In October, Emma had come to parents weekend on her own. Timo flew over with her, but spent all his time with Lio, giving Liv distance. Other than a few, brief moments together at Lio & Luca’s game, Liv continues to keep her dad at an arm’s length. 

“I am great. I have news.” She wiggles her shoulders. Emma perks, face expectantly glistening at her daughter. “I’m going to be a published author. My professor submitted my short story collection to a small company in Chicago. They want to do a full, 100+ page collection and publish it!”

“YES!” Emma cheers, jumping up and down. “Of course you are baby! I am so proud of you!” Emma’s eyes drift above the phone, then dart quickly back down to the screen. “So what are the next steps?”

Liv fills her mom in. This is the early stages, but because it is a shorter collection, it can be printed and released within the next 3 months. Right after Liv’s birthday is their target date. As Liv speaks, her mom moves into her office, closing the pocket door behind her.

“How wonderful! Oh, I knew you would reach your goal well before you were done with school.”

“Mama.” Liv chuckles. She is Liv’s biggest fan. The two women chat a little longer before Liv needs to head out to her next class. Before she goes, her mom has one final question.

“Is it okay with you if I tell daddy?” Emma asks, nervously. Liv nods. Despite everything, she wants him to know. 

It’s a grueling couple of months. Liv has to learn quickly to balance a long-distance relationship, several rounds of edits and her school work. Several times, she is crying to Luca on the phone that maybe she can’t do this. Maybe she should back out of the book. Luca talks her through every wave of uncertainty. 

“You can do this, baby. Don’t worry about us right now. We are solid. Worry about you and your dreams. I’ll see you when I can, okay?”

The problem is, Liv wants to see Luca. And her mom. She really needs a hug from her mom right now.

The night of the book launch, her publisher hosts a party in her honor. It just so happens to coincide with Luca’s schedule, and an off-day when the Wild are playing in Detroit. A quick flight gets him in Liv’s arms for the first time in months, where she refuses to let go of him. Lio is playing in Chicago the next night. It all perfectly came together for her big day.

For once, she is the main focus of the family.

But when her family walks in to the event space, beaming at her, Liv’s heart cracks in her chest. Discouraged tears rush into her eyes as she hugs her mom. Liv knows Timo came with her mom and younger brothers, but he is not here tonight. No one asked if he was invited; they all assumed it would be this way. Liv did too. But now that this is all happening, it feels wrong. Wrong in her heart. Wrong in her soul. Wrong in every rush of aliveness in her being.

She needs her dad.

“We are so proud of you!” Emma squeezes her tight again. “This is only the beginning. Anything you want is within your reach. I know it.” Emma squeezes her hand, then steps aside for hugs from the boys. 

Once those squeezes are done, including the half asses ones from the twins, Liv grabs her mom’s forearm. 

“Mama, can we talk?”

“Of course.” The two women leave the boys to talk shop aka hockey. “What’s up?” Liv swallows hard, looking into her mom’s brown eyes. 

“Ah… What is daddy doing right now?” Emma straightens, pausing to read every flicker of Liv’s face. 

“Um, he’s… at the hotel.” 

“The four seasons?”

“Yes.” 

“What room?”

“419.”

“Okay. I’ll be back.”

“Okay.” Emma whispers in awe. She thinks about warning Timo briefly, but ultimately, this is not her place.

Liv’s teeth chatter the entire ride to the hotel in the passenger seat of Luca’s rental car. His hand on her thigh is the only thing preventing her from clattering off the seat to the floor mats. She keeps trying to pull in deep, calming breaths. When Luca pulls into the valet, he pauses, putting the car in park.

“Do you want me to come in?”

“No.. well.. yes.. No.” She shakes her head, unclipping her seatbelt. The valet opens her door. She swallows hard. “Could you just wait in the lobby?”

“Yes. Whatever you need, babe.”

“Thank you.” She whispers.

They walk hand in hand to the elevators. Liv’s fingers reluctantly leave his.

“I’m right here.” Luca reminds her as the doors close, separating them. When they steel presses together, her anxious expression looks back at her. She had her make up professionally done. She looks so much like her mom, so beautiful and elegant. The doors open and she walks to the left. Their room is in the corner, at the end of the hall. Before she can talk herself out of it, she knocks. 

“Baby, did you forget your… purse.” Timo asks, holding up her mom’s black bag. Timo freezes when he realizes she is not Emma. He is dressed to the 9s in his best, blue suit. A shiny black bowtie is perfectly arranged at the opening of his neck. His loafers are shined, ankles exposed, and hair perfectly slicked into place. He looks dressed for the exact kind of event she came from.

“Um, no, but we can bring that to her.” Liv blurts. She can hear her blood pounding through her body.

“Hi Liv.” Timo says. 

“Hi.”

“What… ah… are you doing here? Did mama send you for her purse?” His eyebrows pull together in confusion. “I could have brought it. But I thought maybe I’m on a certain black list. Wouldn’t be the first time.” He adds a half-hearted chuckle. Liv folds her bottom lip into her mouth.

“No, I don’t think mama knows she forgot her purse.”

“Oh. Well here.” Timo awkwardly extends the YSL shoulder bag out by it’s gold chain. Liv tentatively takes it, letting it rest in her hands in front of her. They stare at each other, not quite believing they are breathing the same air. Liv has darker hair than before. She always loses her summer highlights in the winter. Her brown hair is deep and rich like her mom’s. She’s so beautiful; Timo can’t believe she’s half him. “So, why are you here?”

“I was having a great night tonight. At least I thought I was. But then mama and the boys walked in without you and, I felt so.” She pauses, licking her dry lips and swallowing to ease the static in her throat. “So incomplete.” Timo’s eyes drop to the floor. “I don’t want this night to happen without you. It won’t mean as much. Everyone important is in that room, except for you.”

“Sweetheart, if mama told you I was sad earlier and you feel like you have to invite me, you don’t. I don’t deserve to be there.”

“I am not here because of mama. I know we have a lot to talk about, but I really want you there with us. Will you come back with me?”

“Yes.” The rush of air from Timo is immense. He sucks in a shaky breath after, trying like hell not to break down into sobs. “Of course. Thank you. Liv, this means.. so much to me.” Timo turns to go back into the room. “I’ll grab my wallet and we can go.”

“Okay. You should know Luca is downstairs. He brought me here.”

“Okay. That’s great.” Timo nods, searching under his clothes, trying to find his wallet. “Here it is.” Timo chuckles. “Your mom still insists I need a chain on this but… yuck.” He shake his head.

“Not fashionable at all.” Liv smiles, knowing her dad’s preferences all revolve around the season’s hottest trends coming out of Italy. Timo puts it in the inner pocket of his suit jacket as he looks at his daughter.

“Livy I am so proud of you. And I love you so much.”

“Do you?” Liv whispers. Timo’s face shatters, cheeks tight with emotion. 

“Yes. Every day of your existence. I used to cry at the mere thought of you in my arms when you were in mama.” Liv knows this. She’s seen the videos her mom took of him wiping his wet cheeks. “Although I know I have not gone about this the best, every thing I’ve done has been with your best interest in mind… keeping you safe too. But you are grown up now. You’re way smarter than me and it’s your life. I respect that.” 

“Daddy, Luca and I are in love.” Liv says as she steps towards him, putting herself into his arms.

“I know, hon. Mama told me.” Timo responds. “Heard about your birthday too… The celebration you always deserve.” He trails off. “Sorry I missed another one.” 

“You’ll come over next year?” 

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.” Liv rests her cheek on his chest, closing her eyes as he hugs her close.

“Are those the cuff links I gave you?” She wonders after they separate.

“Yeah.” Timo chuckles, bringing his wrist up for her to see. 

“Remember when I thought those were just my initials?” She grins, looking up at him.

“Yeah…. Your mom and I couldn’t think past L I guess. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, you kept me as the only girl and that seems better.” 

“Our perfect girl.” Timo murmurs. “Let’s go. I wanna tell everyone all about you being my daughter.” 

Timo and Liv head down to the lobby where Luca waits for them. He grins wide when he sees the two Meiers walking towards him. Liv is so happy. Her arm is laced through Timo’s and they laugh about Emma forgetting her purse and still not realizing it. Timo’s smile stays even when he sees Luca. 

“Are we ready to go back?” Luca asks. 

“Yeah. We are all here now.”

“Hi, I’m Timo, Liv’s dad. It’s nice to meet you.” Timo grins. Luca laughs, shaking his hand solidly, while going along with it.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. You should know I keep my hands to myself, sir.”

“I’m sure you do.” Timo chuckles. 

“Really?” Liv asks Luca.

“It’s funny. We’re laughing, no?” Luca laces their fingers together then opens the door for Liv so she can walk through first. It takes everything in Luca to not let his eyes drift to the sweet curve of her ass in that dress.

Things with Timo may have calmed, but Luca knows better than to press his luck any further tonight.

Plus, tonight isn’t about any of them, it’s about Liv. And she deserves the best.

[look-at-the-soul]

Peaky Blinders letter exchange

Arthur Shelby x Heaven

Letters master list

💌 So I’m beyond thrilled for this brilliant idea, @raincoffeeandfandoms thank you for creating this project I almost stick to the deadline… not going to lie it was quite a challenge since I’ve never wrote for other than Tommy, but just as in life, I’m always up for a challenge 😉

The first letter was written by @call-sign-shark as the OC, Heaven 🤍 I have to admit this letter made me dream about their encounter, the response as Arthur was written by me, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: After S3c Heaven and Arthur live a peaceful and happy life in their house in the forrest and they are trying for a child. But when Arthur got the mafia’s black hand, he came back to Small Heath. At first he asked his wife not to come to protect her, but their love is so strong, so drug-like, that they kinda withered without each other. So she decides to join him no matter the danger of Changretta’s threats. Arthur receives the letter the day Tommy told him everyone should stick together for safety reasons.

*****

Mon amour, Bleak Winter and brass knuckles, My heart burns in the steel Of your saddened eyes. Night fell upon the city and I’m alone in our house, our big dog lying at my feet and flickering candle lights as sole company. As I watched the moonlight and stars, I felt the urge to write down these words for my heart aches with your absence. I know you asked me to stay away from Small Heath until things are better with Luca Changretta, but I’m becoming crazy between these walls. I can’t stand the idea of you risking your life and not being able to take you in my arms at night to give you comfort, nor to wash away the blood from your face and hands. Admittedly, it sounds like I am writing this in pure emotions and I am pretty sure that’s what Thomas will say, but I have thought the matters for nights and days before taking this decision: I am coming back to Small Heath, and we will fight as we have always done since we have met: together. As long as you’re with me, I know that nothing can happen — and if Death brings its cold and bony fingers around my neck, know that I’ll forever be by your side. But Arthur, I can’t go on without you. Each day without your presence is not worth living: I would rather hold your hand and bath in blood with you than being locked up away from you, safe but decaying. As I impatiently wait for our “retrouvailles” in three days, I keep brushing the golden ring your offered me with the tips of my fingers. Your gravel voice still echoes in my head, the words of your proposal bringing me comfort in my darkest and coldest nights. I remember how pained you looked when Tommy told us to wait for this gang war to be over before getting married but I think this is not a good idea. Quite the contrary, this is one rule we should disobey. Even in the midst of battle, I am ready to wear my white dress and deliver my vows, flowers crowns on my head and razor blade in my hand. If sky fall apart and hell breaks loose, at least we’ll leave this world as husband and wife — but don’t get me wrong, I am pretty sure no one will make you bow. Don’t forget that you’re a strong man. Stronger than you can imagine, stronger than everyone thinks. I believe in you, and always will. In the meantime, keep me in your heart and I promise I’ll soon be in your arms, Forever yours, Your angel Heaven.

-

My dear Heaven,

There’s no more room for sadness for me since the day you walked into my life. Last night I had a dream, it was already dark and I was sitting alone, you suddenly appeared out of nowhere and everything changed; it was a sunny day and we were walking hand in hand around the forest that surrounds our home. I just wish it could be true and you could be by my side, you can’t even imagine how much I dream of you…. Finding your letter early today gave me peace, but the day has been a fucking nightmare and I just got the chance to answer your words in the middle of the night. How I wish it was me lying next to you, feeling your warm body calming my busy mind. Don’t let out dog get used to it, though as I intend to take my spot back once this war is over. If only you knew how much your love means to me… you saved me from the darkness. It’s been lonely nights without you darling, but the sacrifice will be worth it, we will be able to go back to our routine and start the family your heart desires, but your love is giving me the strength I need at this moment, that’s what keeps me going. I need you to stay away from this mess, that’s the only way I have to protect you. Oh no, you bloody what?! Heaven, love that’s the craziest idea, I miss you so much yes, but there’s no way I can put you in danger, Small Heath isn’t a good idea right now… and please don’t even think about it, I’d never let anything bad happen to you. But as I know, once you make a decision there’s no way to convince you otherwise, so just let me make adjustments and prepare the way you’ll get in so it’s the safest, at least give me that peace eh? I cannot wait until we get married, but again if you already decided you don’t want to wait, we’ll do it right away. You’ll be the prettiest bride, you’ll look like an angel…and later after all of this passes we’ll have a bloody big celebration. Don’t worry about Tommy, he’ll understand. Your words mean so much, I treasure it so close to me heart my dear. I’m looking forward to our “retrouvailles”. I just know having you close will give me peace. Always in my head and heart soon to be Heaven Shelby. Always yours, AS.

****

Tag list:

@runnning-outof-time @call-sign-shark @shelbydelrey @raincoffeeandfandoms @there-goes-thefighter @dandelionprints @zablife @cljordan-imperium

I don’t know if you read for Arthur, if not that’s okay!

@lyarr24 @esposadomd @elenavampire21 @stevie75 @babaohhhriley @fastfan @forgottenpeakywriter @mrkdvidal1989 @shaddixlife @moral-terpitude @pono-pura-vida @ange-thoughts @onlydeadcells @lespendy @sloanexx

[zablife]

Hi Lee, hope you are feeling better. I hope you have a lovely week ahead. I was wondering if I could make a headcanon request for how Tommy, John, Alfie, Michael, Luca and Jack surprise the reader for valentines day. I've also just seen Florence + The Machine live and was curious which Florence song you would designate to each Peaky character (women included)?

Hi darl, tysm for the well wishes and this lovely request! It was so much fun! I hope you enjoy my answers (below the cut).

Peaky Blinders Valentine's Day

🌹Tommy-It's a huge surprise when your workaholic bf takes the day off to spend it with you. He lets you sleep late, cuddled into his side, and has Frances bring breakfast in bed. You spend a leisurely day on the grounds of Arrow House laughing and talking without a care in the world. Tomorrow the hectic pace of Tommy's life will take over again, but tonight he's all yours. You end the day in the large clawfoot tub together sipping champagne.

🌹John-He finds a babysitter for the children and whisks you away in the vardo to remind you of a time before you both had responsibilities. It thrills you to go off wandering as though you were reckless teenagers. John picks wildflowers for you like he did years ago on your first Valentine's Day together. As night falls, you sit by the warm campfire, drinking from the same bottle and recalling all your happiest moments as a couple.

🌹Alfie-You wake up on Valentines' Day to find Cyril wearing a sign that says "Big Brother." When you tell Alfie you're confused, he brings you a small whimpering bundle and your heart nearly bursts. Inside is the puppy Ollie rescued a week ago outside the distillery. The same puppy Alfie insisted you couldn't keep. As Alfie leans in to offer an apology to you, the pup steals his make up kiss, licking your nose and making you giggle with delight.

🌹Michael-He knows a romantic evening at home won't be happening with his mum listening so he takes you out on the town for a night of dancing. You're shocked that he doesn't complain once the entire evening. Michael twirls and dips you on the dance floor as other couples look on enviously. When the band plays a slow tune, it feels safe and warm in his embrace. And when you rest your head on his shoulder, he whispers sweet words that make your heart flutter.

🌹Luca-You're stunned to see Luca in the kitchen, covered in flour when you return home from work. He explains that he's making homemade gnocchi for dinner and offers to teach you. He stands behind you, taking your hands in his as he shows you how to create the proper shape and can't help stealing a kiss when you make one perfectly by yourself.

🌹Jack-It's no surprise that Jack buys you the most beautiful diamond and ruby necklace you've ever seen for Valentine's Day. He loves to spend money on you and often buys you lavish gifts to show his affection. "Nothing's too good for my girl," he tells you. As he removes the jewelry from its velvet case, he clasps the cool metal around your neck carefully, placing delicate kisses to your shoulder that make you shiver with pleasure.

The second part of your request was to match Peaky characters to the Florence + the Machine song I associate them with, but I decided to use couples in honor of Valentine's Day. I hope that's ok.

Tommy + Lizzie - Cosmic Love

Arthur + Linda - Kiss With a Fist

John + Esme - Wish That You Were Here

Polly + Aberama - Heaven is Here

Ada + Freddie - You've Got the Love

Michael + Gina - Dream Girl Evil

[litgwritersroom]

Idk where this came from, but a Noah fic inspired by Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift. I know he's a good guy but it reminds me of him for some reason.

WILDEST DREAMS

S2 | Noah/MC | 3100+ | @crimswnred

He's so tall and handsome as hell... and for some reason, Rhode just can't keep her eyes off him.

"Don't you girls think Noah is kind of a hottie?"

Rhode let her tired earthy green eyes slip away from the words on her book to the bright horizon. Noah was coming back from a quick swim at the ocean, water dripping from his chocolate hair and chest, like he was a vision to be seen. The other boys were following him right after, all joking and pushing each other; Lucas seemed the happiest of them, eager to talk to Noah about whatever subject those two could have in common.

Well, yes, Chelsea wasn't mistaken — actually, she rarely was when it came to boys. Noah was easily the hottest of the bunch and it wasn't hard to admit it or see why. Even if he wasn't your type, which was nearly impossible, you could at least see why he drew attention wherever he went.

He was one of those men, you know?! With kind caramel eyes that could stare right into your soul, even if you didn't want to let them. He had broad shoulders and big arms, the kind that projected immediate trust and a sense of protection. His personality was perfect, too. He was smart, fair, a natural leader and just supportive. However, none of those was the reason he would stick out to Rhode.

It was something else. That kind of feeling in her gut that moved her and caused butterflies in her stomach. The feeling of being needed. The way he made her believe he couldn't survive without her in her life. Everything, from his voice to the way he would look at you, seemed oddly unpolished as if the edges were left undone and he was one leap away from perfection, and you couldn't escape that urge to take him there. That was exactly why he was dangerous.

Because he would let you believe he had been waiting to meet you so he could be whole.

"Well, he is tall as hell and very handsome, but he's just not for me," Rhode said, at least. It was a lie, of course, Noah always had ticked all of her boxes in every category possible. However, she should stay safe on watch duty.

Chelsea frowned behind her round pink shades and big white floppy hat. "Why is your tone all sad all of the sudden?" She asked and, to be honest, Rhode wouldn't expect less of Chelsea's wit. She always knew best when it came to those things. "Is it because of Noah?!"

Before Rhode could come up with some excuse of her own, Lottie butted in, as she always did. "Don't be silly, Chels!" she argued, sliding her shades down her nose to have a look at them, those bright green eyes looking down as if she knew better. "Rhode just started dating Lucas, we don't need another misunderstanding."

Another, Lottie had to say, because there had been some wild rumours when Noah started dating his current girlfriend, rumours that went too far. Of course, the source of them seemed to be Chelsea, who at the time was convinced Noah had a thing for Rhode ever since they first met in college. To be honest, she never once believed such nonsense, however, she did wish, from the bottom of her heart, they were true.

"I'm just asking!" Chelsea gasped, her cheeks burning red. "Why do you always bring that back? It's been ages!"

"Me?" Now it was Lottie's turn to act displeased, as she sneered. "You're the one always talking about Rhode and Noah and their partners like they're characters in a rom-com!"

Rhode rolled her eyes to herself and huffed loud enough to cut their conversation. "Please, stop that nonsense," she ordered. "It'll be way worse if the boys end up hearing us."

"Hear you what?!"

Lucas' voice made Rhode jump on the stop. He was standing behind her, drying her hair with one of the towels she had brought in her bag. He looked as handsome as ever, his eyes glued to her as if she was the only woman in that beach, the only woman to ever set foot on earth. Rhode liked that, the certainty she was needed at the moment. She liked his seriousness, even though it had an expiration date.

She knew just where she was standing with him. Just where to go. Just exactly when to finish it.

It was one of her many habits. A tendency of hers. She would start something knowing well it would eventually end. Maybe that was why she dated the punk-band guy, or the model, or even the soon-to-be actor. Maybe it was why she insisted on a relationship with someone who couldn't imagine himself in a serious relationship, with intentions of marriage. Maybe it was why she was currently with Lucas.

"Gossip," Rhode said as Lucas leaned closer to kiss her on her cheek. He smelled like sun, sand and ocean. His cheek was warm like the afternoon.

"The thing that keeps the world turning," he said when he sat down next to her, seeming satisfied.

"Where's Gary?" Lottie wondered, fanning herself with her cap, searching for her own boyfriend in the horizon. "Wasn't he with you just yet?!"

"He went back to the hotel with Henrik to pick up a ball to play," Lucas explained. "Honestly, they are too high energy for me to keep up."

He slid his hand to Rhode's, intertwining their fingers and caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. It was an incredibly gentle act for him but she welcomed the affection anyway, always happy to receive attention. They were dating for almost six months now and even though Lottie had said they had merely started, it was the longest she had been with someone else.

"You sound like an old lady," Rhode joked around, turning to face him.

"Does that make you my old, beloved husband?" Lucas wrinkled his nose in that adorable way he used to do when he was joking.

Rhode chuckled. "Nah, I think it makes me your hot young boy toy who is always up for a good time and an expensive gift."

He shook his head with an amused smile on his lips, seeming more annoyed he couldn't come up with a proper comeback than about what she said. "You never fail to amuse me."

"Oh, Hope!" Rhode heard Chelsea exclaiming with excitement, raising her head to meet her.

As usual, Hope was hanging from Noah's arms and dragging him as if he was her personal purse, while he looked bored as hell. Long ago, Rhode would diagnose his behaviour around his girlfriends as a commitment issue, he was only 20-something after all. But now, the closer he got to his 30s, the more senseless it looked.

But oh, well, it wasn't Rhode's problem.

"We brought some ice lollies!" Hope announced.

As she said that, Noah placed the cooler full of them on the sand between Lottie and Rhode's loungers, making a loud sound and lifting sand from the ground. Rhode had to scratch her eyes to take some of it away but when she looked back, Noah was smiling.

It sent chills down her back.

"Oh, I want the strawberry sorbet one!"

It only took Chelsea's saying for everyone to attack the poor cooler as they laughed and demanded certain flavours to each other. Rhode watched the sudden rush, doubting they would have bought her favourite flavour anyways. Not everyone could appreciate—

"Rhode."

Noah's voice — his deep, solemn voice — grabbed her attention, taking it away from the ice lollies' mess and her own thoughts all at once. He was crouching in front of her, that sweet boy's smile on his lips, hair still wet and messy, offering her one of the lollies. The passion fruit one.

Her favourite.

1 am.

Lucas was sleeping deeply after too many glasses of wine and there was no sound to be heard in their hotel room. Rhode had just gotten out of her fancy shoes and evening dress, took off her makeup and dragged herself into a large jumper and shorts. 2 seconds ago they were out, partying and drinking, and now he had passed out. It was funny, of course, but also kind of lonely.

She decided to leave him alone and grabbed her handbag, opening it to find her pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Quickly enough, she was out of her room, hair tied in a bun.

Rhode walked through the hallways, phone in one hand, room's card and lights in the other. There were only a few people here and there at each turn, all of them looking drunker than the previous one like she would've expected.

When she finally hit the outdoor pool, Rhode sat by one of the loungers, a cigarette between her teeth as she tried to light it and watched the stars shining on the sky above her.

"Thought I'd find you here."

She turned but didn't need to do it quickly for she already knew who it was. Noah was standing next to her, the same tender expression he always seemed to keep for his friends in his face and a combination of pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt that looked too good to be true.

"Isn't there a girlfriend for you to attend?!"

"Hope's still at the bar with Lottie and Chelsea," he said, not seeming sad at all about his absence. "What about your boy?!"

"Lucas fell asleep, so I escaped," she gave him an insincere smile. "But now I'm second-guessing it, it's too fucking cold for a summer night."

Noah chuckled in that way which always meant he could see behind her talking. "You're unsettled."

Between Chelsea's wit and Noah's mind-reading abilities, Rhode really thought she was that easy to figure out.

"I am cold," she countered, wrinkling her nose at him.

Once again, he flashed that beautiful, sweet smile that met his eyes and felt like the only honest gesture in the world. God, she hated his smiles. They had a way of making her feel special even if at the end of their night, he'd go back to his girlfriend.

She rolled her eyes at him in a playful way and he couldn't help but chortle, making her blush as she puffed her cigarette. It was one of those moments when everything looked so perfect and somehow she still felt like part of the scene. Her heart was beating loud inside her chest and her eyes were focused on the man in front of her.

Noah sat down on the lounger next to her, his legs turned to her body as his smile went from bright to hopeless in a second. He seemed nervous as if he had just remembered something.

"What?!" Rhode frowned, turning her legs to his direction as well and leaning forward. She could feel his skin, their knees touching and his warm passing from him to her. "What happened, Noah?!"

He looked at her and their eyes met. "He's gonna propose."

It took longer than it should have for it to click. A second or two for it to sink in properly. 'He' in that case was Lucas, and she was the one who was going to be proposed to. Suddenly, it all made sense. He had been so careful, so loveable, so affectionate. Lucas wanted to marry her.

Except it didn't make sense at all! It was Lucas they were talking about. He was 27 and thought himself to be too young to tie the knot. He had told her as soon as they started dating that married life was the last of his priorities. The man she was dating despised the idea of being glued to anyone, wanted to see the world and help those in need and drive around on his bike and…

"Who told you that?!" Rhode asked, at least.

"Lucas himself."

"That can't possibly be true," she dismissed Noah with a shake of her hand. "Lucas would rather die than marry so soon. It's impossible, you must've misheard him."

"I did not!" His voice was firm, steady. Rhode had never heard him so angry before. "I'm telling you, he's gonna propose. At the end of our trip. He's in love with you, Rhode."

"And I'm telling you, Noah, this can't be!"

"Why?! Why is it so unimaginable for you that he wants to lock you down?"

That wasn't the case. Actually, that was the least insane part of all this. She would never doubt anyone's feelings, especially from a determined man like Lucas, who would do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted to. The problem here was that she was dating him specifically because he didn't want anything serious. Because she was in love with someone else. And if he asked her to marry him… well, she would say no.

"Why would he even tell you that?!" Rhode shook her head, changing the subject.

"Because…" She watched as he fumbled for words and swallowed hard, suddenly losing that layer of confidence and showing Rhode a part of him she had never seen before. "Well, fuck it, everybody will find out sooner or later."

He ran his hands through his hair and then face, making Rhode more confused than before. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Remember when Chelsea said I had a thing for you and everyone just figured it was a lie?"

Thump. As the wind passed them, her heart almost escaped through her throat. If she was standing, she would be on the ground by now, since her legs felt like giving up. She only nodded in response, too afraid that if she tried to say something, it would come out like a cry instead of words.

"Well, it wasn't." Without knowing it, Noah said exactly what Rhode expected him to, like a dream finally coming to life. "One night, I drank too much and… I ended up telling Chelsea about my feelings for you. She commented with Lottie, I guess, who told Gary and… when it got to you I panicked and asked her, no, begged her to pretend it was all some stupid gossip she made up."

Suddenly, Chelsea's obsession with making a couple out of them both felt reasonable. She knew. Oh, god, all this time she knew.

"Noah, I—"

"Sorry, I'm…" he interrupted and she nodded, letting him finish his train of thought. "I guess Gary told Lucas about those rumours and he came to me, asked me if they were true. I lied, of course, said it was all a big misunderstanding and that I was happy with Hope. But then, he told me about the proposal."

Fuck. Hope. Rhode had forgotten all about her for a second.

"I don't know why I wanted to tell you about it, I don't know why I'm telling you all, I guess…" Noah scratched her nape, lost in his own thinking. "I don't know, I just wanted to shoot my shot. I know you love Lucas and he's a great guy, but I wanted you to know either way. Rhode. I'm in love with you."

Something great took control over Rhode, made her grab his white t-shirt with closed, tight fists, and bring him closer to her. Made her forget all about Lucas and Hope and Chelsea and Lottie. Made her lock their lips in one desperate movement, like he was air and she couldn't spend another second breathless. Made her bring his body over her own, even though they were out by the hotel pool and anyone could see them.

She didn't care. How could she?

Mind still a little hazy, Rhode was now taking off his shirt, exposing his chest to her touch and lips. His hands were exploring as well, raising the hem of her jumper, touching the skin of her belly and then gently caressing her breasts. Each encounter of skin felt more electric than the other, to the point Rhode thought she'd burn in flames.

"Noah," she whispered, between kisses on his neck. "Is Hope back from the bar?!"

Noah straightened his back, looking at her straight in the way. "We might have an hour."

The sun was setting and there was soon between Rhode's toes. She could hear the ocean's waves crashing against the shore, over and over, playing a soundtrack to her foggy thoughts. It had been around 17 hours ever since she had last seen Noah and her heart felt smaller and smaller each second that passed her by. Looking at the horizon, she could see the beautiful sunset meeting the border of the water. But her mind was somewhere else.

She heard steps and more steps coming closer to her. Used to Lucas' touch, she didn't flinch when the presence got nearer. However, when the figure sat down next to her, she realised he was too tall to be her boyfriend.

"Just broke up with Hope."

Rhode turned to look at him. He had one of those side smirks that said "oopsie" but not for real. His eyes looked soft as they often did when he looked at her and for the first time, it didn't send her into an anxious spiral. Instead, she felt peaceful. She could get used to that feeling.

It had been a long time coming.

"Good for you," she chuckled and he did too, a sparkle running through them. 

Noah then furrowed his brows, looking thoughtful for a while. "How about Lucas, though?!"

Rhode sighed. "I told him I didn't wanna marry."

Just a few hours later she had been kicked out of her hotel room to give Lucas some space. She tried to reason with him, explaining she has always been completely clear with her intentions and that they were aligned until… they weren't.

"How did he take it?!"

"Not so good," she shook her head at the memory of his jaw clenching. "But he'll live."

Noah nodded at that and Rhode felt like he truly understood. Because there was nothing she could do about Lucas when her mind was fixated on Noah. 

"We're doing this, then?!" Rhode asked, her green eyes glued to his caramel orbs.

"Yeah, I think we are…" he smiled once again but this time, it was big. Bigger than the universe and surely bigger than anything she had ever felt. 

She got closer and he did too and suddenly they were just an inch apart from each other. She could hear his heartbeat, even when the sound of the waves was trying to shut it. It just beat louder.

"Noah," she said with what felt like her whole being. "I'm in love with you too."

And he kissed her. Oh, he kissed her. As if he was dying to do it for ages now. As if he died to do it right now. As if he would die to do it for as long as he could, as long as he breathed. And she kissed her back as if breathing was not possible away from him. And God, it was beautiful. Even if they didn't survive, in that moment, they were beautiful.

[yuwumeniji]

Luxiem x Persona

I am thou, Thou art I

A/N: A bullet pointed brainrot of two different fandoms i have rn.... mmmm.... many thoughts, head full ♡ also... when i think im done, i dont look back (no beta we die like men around here lmao) so im very sorry for the sloppiness lmao

EXTRA NOTES:

i'm seriously in love with this artwork and it became my muse lmao || A lot of the references will be more on Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal || Proceed under the cut!

General

Luxiem - a group of misfits turned phantom thieves who have shaken up society!

both shu and ike are third years, while mysta and luca are both second and first years respectively

vox is a student teacher at the same school as the rest of the boys. he is a history / language arts teacher.

the first palace was infiltrated by luca and shu

the last person to join was mysta due to his wariness of the others

they all meet up at vox's apartment since he's the only one out of the five that lived alone.

A people pleaser; despite his good intentions, he has yet to realize that others are just using the goodness of his heart to fulfill their evil tasks.

Codename: Novelist (He wants to overwrite his past failures and see a brighter tomorrow for himself)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : tired of being taken advantage of, ike had realized that he has to be able to think for himself - bearing witness to how cut-throat society really is and how fiends would use his kind-heartedness to their advantage, his persona had manifested as the strength needed to stand on his own two feet and his desire to become independent.

What Is His Persona?: A grotesque, hulking ball of tentacles. no one can see the middle of the creature. ike says that it's a reference to his untapped potential (mysta dismisses it as just something mysterious and didn't want to pry)

His Position: the brains of the operation. leave it to ike to help navigate and come up with creative plans to infiltrate palaces

a childish dreamer, blinded by his own ideals and has yet to be tainted by this cruel world.

Codename: Boss (He wanted to become Number. 1; actually based on an inside joke within their group as he is the one who usually lead discussions, thus leading to everyone in Luxiem calling him "Boss" or "The Big Boss")

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : The realization that his dreams have long been crushed by the doings of a wicked adult. luca knew he was chasing nothing but a dream, yet it was what kept him going until he felt that it was time to face reality. the anger he feels over being stamped out like this and the idea that a new adventure awaits him had manifested as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a humanoid like being with a lion's mane and strong arms. has the ability to stand on its hind legs. luca has thought about having a weight-lifting contest with his own persona (the others think it's a little absurd fighting himself since a persona is just an extension of oneself)

His Position: the brawn of the operation. being the massive ball of energy he is, leave the fighting to luca. even in dire situations where the team is surrounded by shadows, luca will find a way to break through via sheer will himself. he is also the most physically capable within the group.

A genius who wishes to be recognized past his intelligence.

Codename: Sleuth (He wishes to seek the truth behind the wicked desires of others)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : pushed over the edge, mysta had enough of people blindly praising his intelligence as if his other achievements were only due to the fact of his genius-disposition or of other means - he felt as if this was what trapped in his own fame (or infamy), he wanted to live freely. the manifestation of this desire revealed itself as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a fox like creature that seems cute at first. if anything is known about mysta, it's that appearances are deceiving - despite the cuteness, mysta's persona is quite vicious and has the ability to rip apart even steel with it's teeth. mysta and his persona surprisingly get along well; his persona has the unique sentience about it and often is seen hanging off of his shoulder or hat when they are in the metaverse.

His Position: the escape artist. leave the escape to mysta, he's the only one capable of driving everyone to safety when the palace starts to crumble into nothingness (at least only one able to escape in time, the rest either don't have a license or don't have a sense of how quickly they need to escape - ike was the one who asked mysta if there were speed limits when escaping.)

The one who watches from the shadows, a witness to the everyday injustices.

Codename: Magician (Like a magician, his dexterity and adaptability in many and otherwise dire situations leave others in awe ; yet, he refuses to share how and why he knows such skills)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : the more shu bore witness to, the more he grew sick of it. he felt as though a bottomless pit had formed in his stomach as he watches wicked adults take advantage over the weak - and most importantly, how weak he was for hiding behind this fear, even if he had the means of helping others. his desire to see the world where the weak can live amongst the strong without cowering in fear has manifested into his persona.

What Is His Persona?: another humanoid like creature that stands on one leg. it appears to look like a shikigami with a magician's clothes. shu has tried drawing a face on his persona's paper-like face. he's surprised that it stays on sometimes.

His Position: intelligence master. from collecting data of the big bad they must face to finding who needed a change of heart within the depths of mementos, shu has it all covered. no one really knows how he gathers this much information and doesn't really want to know how either (shu says these are basic things you can find online about anyone, but none of the members want to question if he's actually telling the truth or not)

A young adult pressured by society, once an overachiever now weighted by the burden of life after high school.

Codename: Oni (The group named him Oni due to the appearance of his persona. He went along with the name because he couldn't think of a better one, plus he found it endearing how the group of his closest friends gave him the name.)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : vox's anger and desire to do more despite the now limited resources and time he has in comparision to an older adult, or a child. despite being an honours student, vox was hit with the sudden reality check that he can no longer do what he was once able to without being compared to others. he didn't like that at all and wanted to change that perspective once and for all.

What Is His Persona?: an oni-like creature that towered over the rest. powerful and all-mighty, yet regal and somewhat refined. vox wants to invite his persona to a tea party one day.

His Position: the guardian angel. despite his mean appearance, vox cares a lot about the members of the team and shines the brightest during desperate situations. he's the hope and the eldest brother of the bunch and he'll do anything to make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible with little or no injury to the rest of the boys.