#i wish i had more energy and could be more active in organising though

[trans-cuchulainn]

okay i've finished rewatching pride now i will stop having feelings all over your dash

[erazonpo3]

WOWM

so What Once Was Mine came out and I read it.

My General Thoughts are that this book was something of a rollercoaster but in like a pop up carnival with dubious safety regulations and diseases in the DIY log flume water kind of way. I had some fun reading it but I also feel like I picked up a rash.

If you're like me and you enjoy picking a book apart for morsels of interesting concepts then you might enjoy it, if you think holy shit why the fuck is a literal real historical serial killer in this book I need to see this then you might enjoy it, if you care about engaging plots and character beats then you probably won't.

If you want to ask me anything specific go ahead, but otherwise for more in depth thoughts: spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of the Plot

Okay so here's the deal. The story has the framing device of two siblings in a cancer ward, where one tells the other a story. I'll get into that later, but that's how it starts. Our actual story starts with a pretty long prologue: We learn that the King & Queen got the Moonflower thinking it was the Sunflower, Rapunzel was born with silver hair, and then baby Rapunzel kills a maid who accidentally hurt her when brushing her hair.

Oh, by the way, Max is a human man named Justin Tregsburg. Yeah.

Anyway, the royal family puts out feelers for legit witches who can safely take care of Rapunzel because the baby is too dangerous, and Gothel shows up to take her away. Queen Arianna visits Rapunzel once (but is only allowed to watch through a peephole) and decides watching another woman raise her child is too painful and throws herself into restoring the kingdom's orphanages instead.

Now we're in the present. Rapunzel is nineteen and she wants to go and see the lanterns (a mourning tradition of the Dead princess in this story). She tries to argue with Gothel but gets shut down, and Gothel makes her kill a chicken to prove the point that she can't go outside because she's too dangerous. However we as the audience already know Gothel plans to sell Rapunzel off as a bride or a servant or a weapon to some other nobles, because she's evil.

Also by the way Gothel still has access to our Sundrop Flower and is using it to live forever that's just a thing that happens in the background.

When Gothel is gone Rapunzel watches as a man (Flynn) stores a satchel in a tree outside of her tower, and that motivates her to leave the tower for the first time. Then she goes back inside the tower with her prize of a crown, and a skink she found and named Pascal. Rapunezl and Gothel have another spat, and Rapunzel decides she will run off to see the lanterns and she will find Flynn and make him her guide.

She ends up at the Snuggly Duckling and she doesn't find Flynn but she does find Gina, a young career criminal girl looking to break the glass ceiling. Gina agrees to help her find Flynn. They find Flynn, and he agrees to help guide Rapunzel to see the floating lanterns for a split reward of the crown with Gina.

The Snuggly Duckling gets burned down by Countess Bathory (yes that Elizabeth Bathory) and the Pub Thugs are pissed about it and also they're helping Rapunzel even though she didn't sing the I've Got A Dream song don't worry about it. We learn that the nobles that wanted to buy Rapunzel are now hunting her down so she can go to auction.

Gina takes them to her adopted mother's cottage. Gina's mother is a white witch, who goes by the name of Goodwife. She doesn't get an actual name she's just The Goodwife. Anyhow, the cottage is a magic safe space (for now) and Goodwife teaches Rapunzel that her hair isn't inherently evil and may not even be all that deadly! Rapunzel learns that her hair has other powers too, like the ability to turn skink Pascal into a sentient Chameleon. Yeah.

Also Goodwife tells Rapunzel she's the dead princess but this isn't like, an immediate call to action. Not a lot happens until we get this story's version of the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Gothel finds Rapunzel again but has to flee, but this Rapunzel has a bigger support network and isn't buying it. Flynn and Gina decide the safest course of action is to bring Rapunzel to the castle, but along the way she gets kidnapped by the Countess.

Gothel is pissed because she still wants the money for Rapunzel, so she rallies the armies of all the opposing bidders. Flynn and Gina convince Max the Man to send for his troops, and he joins them in going to the enemy castle. Flynn tries to sneak in, gets caught, and meanwhile there's a bloody battle out the front between the noble armies. Max jumps into the fray, Gina turns around and rallies the Pub Thugs.

Rapunzel uses her shrinking magic (!) to disappear half the castle and escape with Eugene, and the Pub Thugs arrive and basically end the battle. The Captain is dying but it's okay! Rapunzel turns him into a horse :) Also Rapunzel sees Gothel and tells her to fuck off.

The story ends with a tearful reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, Eugene and Gina are implied to be biological siblings, and things are good but of course in direct parallel to Cass Gina leaves at the end to become an adventurer. The end.

(There are a few other smaller plot beats, but you get the idea.)

MY THOTS

So here are my thoughts™.

Framing Device

I'll just state that I didn't like that the story was told via the vehicle of an older brother telling his 16 year old sister a different version of the Tangled Movie in a cancer ward. From what I've heard it also isn't normal for the Twisted Tales series to use a framing device for the AUs either.

I sympathise with the author's personal story, of course I do. That doesn't mean I'm stirred with compassion every time the flow of the story is interrupted to remind you to be sad because this is a story being told to a girl sick with cancer. It feels more than a little tragedy-porny rather than emotionally touching, and maybe that's because I'm too burnt out on real life tragedy to waste emotional energy on fictional cancer patients but we don't need to do Fault In Our Stars discourse again.

Real World References

This story goes heavy with Real World references. And another issue with the framing device as above is that you do feel like this is a story being told by someone namedropping every historical figure they know which makes it harder to get into the story.

There's like... a lot of references to Christianity, particularly in the prologue. There's a priest that thinks Rapunzel's hair is the work of the Devil or whatever. It's a lot. The Patriarchy is a thing. And that's not even getting into the Countess. I put it very succinctly in my notes so I'll paste it here:

I wish she’d just been an OC who could exist to chew scenery because the fact that she was a literal historical serial killer is super. Off putting. Like, she could have been an obvious reference to Bathory, but it feels like Miku Binder Hamilton levels of uncomfortable to me.

I miss Lady D.

Which basically sums up my problem with trying to take the setting of Tangled and put it somewhere in the Real World and somewhere on the Timeline. Who thought this was a good idea.

Misc. Thoughts

So, I used the five highlighter colours my ipad allows to organise my thoughts and organised them accordingly: Yellow for out of place IRL references, Blue for worldbuilding/character points that aren't plot relevant but still interesting, Pink for when something I find personally amusing happens, Purple for when the story feels like it's trying to 1-up the movie in some kind of way and Green for Heterosexual Nonsense. I'll touch on those last two in the Character sections but be prepared.

Also: for a book about giving Rapunzel killer hair, her hair isn't very dangerous. I wanted to see Rapunzel kill someone, and I'm disappointed that I didn't.

Characters

I'll do a deep dive into my thoughts about the characters before wrapping it up. I'm starting with Gina because she's honestly the easiest to get through.

Gina

Gina is a new character introduced for the story. She's a young woman trying to make it as a career criminal but keeps hitting that glass ceiling. So here's the down low, for all those who want to know: Gina is basically Cass, only not really. She's implied to be Eugene's biological sister, as previously mentioned, but you can imagine she's Cass the entire way through without breaking your immersion because if you imagined Cass if she were adopted by a Goodwitch rather than the Captain and had a looser, more wilderness survivor than trainee guard upbringing then you get Gina.

I liked Gina! I think she's fun as her own character too, and her best moments are when she's interacting with her mother Goody Goodwife, and she of course picks up a natural sibling rivalry with Eugene, but I was disappointed with how little she really bonded with Rapunzel because she needed to make room for Eugene and Rapunzel's romance.

Rapunzel

Okay, here's our protagonist. There's a notable effort to make Rapunzel more active in her destiny and whatever, and sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. I was worried they'd try to go full butt-kicking girlboss with her but I was pleasantly surprised that Rapunzel was pretty useless in most scenes, genuinely love to see it.

With a more intimate look into Rapunzel's psyche through the medium of prose, we see Rapunzel really questioning Gothel's behaviour even before she leaves the tower, and while I appreciate that she can develop her own cynicism I feel it starts unnecessarily early. This is my purple colour; the movie needs to be "fixed" by showing the readers that this Rapunzel is quicker to distrust Gothel. She's also quicker to hatch a plan to go outside of the tower on her own, and she makes a plan to make Flynn her guide for the lanterns even though he never stumbles upon her in the tower- and even though she has a perfectly rational reason not to trust him which is that he is a stranger and a Wanted Thief.

In the moments where it does work is when Rapunzel is surrounded by her new support network: Flynn, Goodwife and Gina, who encourage her to question Gothel's sincerity, and Rapunzel comes up with her own defences for Gothel so that she can poke through them herself.

I have some other thoughts about Rapunzel's hair and her powers, like how the story provides the interesting concept that her hair gets different powers with the different phases of the moon, but a lot of the powers are uhhh stupid and also I feel like it really robs the story of the whole gripping conflict of "Yes I'm Rapunzel Yes my hair kills people what of it".

In as far as just Rapunzel herself though, she still felt pretty in character nonetheless, and maybe that's all I can ask.

Flynn Rider / Eugene Fitzherbert

My boy I am so sorry. They neutered my boy.

Long story short: Eugene in this story is the sexy lamp. He contributes nothing to the plot except to be there for Rapunzel to drool over. And of course because he won't get any character development, he starts from the very beginning as a sweet soft boi with none of the Flynn Rider characterisation from the movie because we don't have time for that, he needs to be husband material stat.

His whole character is the colour green for Heterosexual Nonsense.

So, here's the problem. In the movie, there's not a lot of time for ~friendship~ between Rapunzel and Eugene because they kind of immediately see each other as a romantic prospect. And whatever, it's a movie and there's only so much time. But this book had the opportunity to take things a bit slower and instead chooses to make Rapunzel get jealous whenever Eugene and Gina interact and for her to be constantly wishing he was holding her hand.

Say what you will about Lost Lagoon, but it tells a good romance story just by virtue of not intending to be a romance story, because the author is trying to convey a strong bond between Rapunzel and Cassandra without using "and they kiss" as a cheatcode. What Once Was Mine says "he was a boy, she was a girl, could it be any more obvious?" and leaves it at that.

Now as for how this all pertains to Eugene's character? Well, it just robs him of any flavour. In the movie there's a clear distinction between Flynn and Eugene, when we learn Eugene's real name about halfway through. We see a clear difference between the Flynn we knew- kind of an asshole, wanated to drop Rapunzel off at the Snuggly Duckling and get rid of her- and Eugene, who is sincere and chooses Rapunzel as his New Dream in opposition to his Old Dream of living alone on an island with a bunch of money.

This version of Eugene is basically Eugene all the way through, because the plot doesn't really need Eugene there but he has to be there because it's a Tangled AU so there's no Rapunzel rescuing Flynn from the guards and healing his hand scene, he just loves her immediately and that's that. They have a little spat at one point but it's cleared up later and not because they actually communicate but because they kiss.

Rapunzel only learns Eugene's real name at the very end of the story, and gives a speech about how Eugene is the real him, but it's just so flat because 'Flynn' has been sincere this whole time? Anyway he does nothing of value for the entire story except be there for Rapunzel to lust after. Eugene I'm so sorry.

Gothel

Gothel's sort of the Big Bad and is characterised as an abusive asshole, the usual. I wish there were a bit more nuance to her character but then again in this story she's not just being passively evil- taking care of Rapunzel for selfish reasons but nevertheless maintaining the status quo- she's being actively evil in trying to sell Rapunzel off.

It's notably funny that Gothel sees the Countess Bathory and is like "what the fuck".

Anyway Gothel in this story also feels very weak in part because this Rapunzel is more critical and in part because this Rapunzel has a new support network. It's for that reason the Mother Knows Best Reprise scene doesn't really work, because the original has Gothel pit Rapunzel against Eugene, whereas she can't do that here so it remains a Gothel vs Rapunzel thing.

She gets a boring death as an epilogue addendum that someone rips out the Sundrop flower, which tbh? lame. It would be a lot more fun if it were open ended but I am also preferential to Rapunzel actually using her killer hair to kill someone. Please

Captain Justin Tregsburg

It's Max. He was a human but then he got turned into a horse. what the fuck you guys

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Season 2 Summary (Volume 5: Ch 14 - 17)

🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers from S2 🍒

Along with the update on 3 June 2021, the CN server released a “Plot Review” which contains bullet-point summaries of S2 :>

Volume 4 Summary: here

When you open your eyes again, you find that you’ve returned to the passageway in the former research centre

Although you originally think that you've re-entered the time loop, you discover a number of oddities

Feeling puzzled, you give Lucien a call, only to hear that his voice sounds as though he had lost something but found it again

“Don’t be afraid. This time, I’ll remember them with you.”

While reassuring you, Lucien rushes over

After talking to Lucien, you understand that after you were shot in the park, you died on the spot. Lucien then felt dizzy. When he opened his eyes again, you were no longer in his arms

Lucien makes a conjecture regarding your death and how you regained consciousness: the duration of your survival will be half of your previous duration of survival. Each time you die, time will leap by the same amount

“How could I not be concerned about you?”

Lucien’s attempts to save you are both reassuring and a promise he says to you amid the chaos

Just like always, he doesn’t fail your expectations, and fulfils this vow

You continuously reduce your duration of survival, which means that the Evolver who is behind this has to change the rules of nature. This exertion causes his Evol to continuously disappear

As such, through Lucien’s calculations, he uses the gravity Evol, finds a chance where he can match the other Evolver, and pulls the both of you out of the distorted time

Your safety is ensured. Lucien heads to the NW research room. Because of his ambition, and more so for your safety, he begins wresting for the control of the experiment

The dust seems to settle. But when you wake up the next day, you find that there’s a neckband on your neck. The entire city is enveloped in a thick fog, and the signal has been cut

On your phone, there’s an invitation to the Hunter Game

In this game of “hide and seek”, the ones with “Joker” cards have to catch “Humans” in order to extend the duration of their survival. The “Humans” have to look for portable oxygen concentrators in order to ensure their own survival

You’re a “Joker”, and you work with the “Human” Lucien to search for a way to survive

In order to study the fog, the two of you head to the bioscience centre. A supply point appears nearby, and a disagreement ensues because you’re both considering the other person’s safety. Lucien’s agitated emotions are contrary to your expectations

“I don’t wish for you to take risks.”

After being in a daze for a moment, Lucien calms down. He suggests that the both of you should compromise, and take this “risk” together

You deliberately expose yourself to an enemy in order to ensure Lucien’s safety. On the other hand, Lucien creates a trap made of icicles. After confirming the enemy’s position, he attacks. The tacit understanding the both of you have in this collaboration results in successful returns

Lucien makes progress in his research. He tells you that the fog comprises of an unknown substance. Such a substance should have a direct link to the Hunter Game. Unfortunately, the organiser of the game, Joker, appears and takes Lucien away...

To source for more clues, you leave the bioscience centre. Through the actions of passers-by, you’re able to obtain another batch of supplies, and you follow behind them

The place they head to turns out to be near Shaw’s antique store. It comes as a shock when you realise that half of the antique store has been burnt down

Just as you worry about Shaw, you hear his voice

“Who let you commit crimes in front of me?”

Shaw isn’t just unscathed. He seems to be using his own methods to maintain the peace and help those around him

He suggests that in order to prove the connection between the Hunter Game and the Lighthouse, he might as well lure the mastermind out

Shaw surmises that the supply points are made available in sequence, and decides to open a supply box in advance. Distributing the portable oxygen concentrators would reduce conflict, in turn ruining the game

As expected, the youth who hangs out around Joker appears. Even though he brings along external help, Shaw manages to suppress him. Unfortunately, the severely wounded youth renders both of your portable oxygen concentrators ineffective, and flees in the chaos

Shaw’s duration of survival is close to zero, but he doesn’t seem affected by the poisonous gas at all

While you’re feeling puzzled, Loveland City experiences a power cut. This causes the ad-hoc rescue points in the city to plunge into chaos

You know that Joker is doing all of this to stir people into conflict

You and Shaw head to the power station to investigate, and realise that the power lines have been tampered with by an Evolver. To restore electricity, Shaw overuses his Evol, using all his willpower to illuminate the whole of Loveland City

Shaw exhausts his energy, and the time left of your survival is almost reaching an end

“Hey, come here...”

Shaw grabs you, leaning against your shoulder. No matter what excuses he uses, you know that he’s extending your time

Shaw vanishes

[Note] A translation of Kiro’s segment is available here by @keliosyfan​! I’d highly recommend reading it before the summary~

After leaving the power station, you decide to seek help from a rescue point

Along the way, the KIROMap suddenly starts up, and you can hear Kiro’s voice from the microphone on your neckband

The both of you communicate through the neckband. It turns out that since ever the Hunter Game began, he has been trying to decode the game’s system

Following his instructions, you successfully evade danger, and meet him in an underground carpark in a shopping mall

But the person you meet is Helios

While exchanging information, Helios locks you in a utility room. You know clearly in your heart that he did this to protect you

Through the KIROMap, you are able to trace his current location, and realise that he’s behind the door, right next to you

You give him information on Joker and the youth, hoping that they can be of some assistance

On the other side of the door, Helios uses his hacker skills to seize control of the Hunter Game

Your phone suddenly notifies you that the Hunter Game has come to an end

“I announce that a new game has officially begun.”

Helios uses his own computer program to create a new “game”, overturning the “hunt and kill” rules of the Hunter Game

Right at this moment, Helios opens the door to the utility room, and tells you that Joker has barged in along with others

The both of you deal with this group of people. Helios sets a trap, causing the other party’s game system to be completely taken over by Helios’. With this, he manages to successfully crack the program for the neckbands

The other party is furious, attempting to use bombs to destroy Helios’ computer

While fleeing for your life, the bomb explodes. Helios does something strange - he covers your ears

He appears alarmed, as though extremely worried that your ears would get hurt because of this

Amid the chaos, you make a guess regarding the truth behind Kiro’s hospitalisation, how Helios appeared, and other things - his hearing is damaged

Joker’s men appear, and they request for Helios to hand over the game’s access

Helios sustains heavy injuries during the confrontation with Joker. Just as you think Joker has won, Helios suddenly turns to the youth with the Evol to transfer objects-

“I command you. Send everyone in Loveland City out of the city immediately.”

Helios was pretending to be injured in order to lower Joker’s guard, and to find a chance to command the youth to send everyone away

Helios restarts the negotiations with Joker - he will take Joker to the Lighthouse. In exchange, Joker has to bring you to a safe place, as well as disperse the fog

In order to reassure you, Helios promises that he’d contact you tomorrow

After being sent to the Meteorological Centre, you contact people from Black Swan and related experts to disperse the fog

At daybreak on the second day, he tells you to meet him on the bridge near the riverside

He gives you all the control of the game. From his tone, he seems to be heading to a dangerous place

This time, his command causes soft waves to surface in your heart

“I want you to remember everything about us.

After parting ways, he promises that he’d definitely return safely

[Note] A more detailed translation of Gavin’s chapter is available here!

After the fog disperses, the Hunter Game appears to be discontinued. However, you discover that there’s a small island called “Small Rock Reef” in which there’s still a lot of activity. People who have been caught by “Jokers” may have been sent away and trapped there

You head to the STF to report this information and to ask for assistance. While conversing with Tang Chao, you find out that Gavin volunteered to head to the Small Rock Reef on his own

At this moment, Gavin contacts the STF. From what he says, you’re given preliminary information of what’s happening underground in Small Rock Reef, and surmise that there may be leads related to the Lighthouse there. As such, you offer to go there too

Under Gavin’s “reorganisation”, order is maintained in the underground arena of Small Rock Reef. While distributing supplies and freeing evacuating people who have been trapped, Gavin brings you to a place which has a special apparatus. The both of you determine that this is the apparatus Joker uses to gather Evol energy in order to unseal the Lighthouse

You and Gavin decide to study it properly after the evacuation operation. However, people from NW barge in, and employ violent tactics during the rescue mission. After being corrected by Gavin, a temporary partnership with NW is formed to carry out the evacuation. At this moment, a warning comes from STF into your earpieces - Loveland City is once again in a crisis. The fog has reappeared, and the Hunter Game is continuing

While this is happening, the numbers on the apparatus continue to increase

“This game is far from over.”

In order to stop Joker, the both of you decide to take apart this apparatus to ruin his plan

But this act of taking apart the apparatus triggers a device which Joker prepared in advance. Poisonous gas surfaces in the underground passageway. The walls crack, causing seawater to flood in, threatening to drown everyone. At this critical juncture, Gavin uses his Evol to push everyone into an entrance where they can escape with their lives. You insist on staying behind to face the danger with him

Gavin uses this opportunity to destroy the apparatus, but the number on the device continues to increase. The two of you think that the gathering of Evol energy will only be under control if the Hunter Game is put to a complete end. As such, the both of you return to Loveland City

With the cooperation of the STF agents, Gavin borrows the power of wind to “retrieve” the thick fog which had enveloped the city. With this, the Hunter Game comes to a halt. He announces the end of the Hunter Game to the entire city

“Each of you here is a hero of this city.”

While Gavin recuperates in the hospital, you receive a call from a Black Swan researcher, and find out that an overuse of Evol could result in pathological changes. You recall what happened earlier, and the sheer amount of Evol Gavin expended. As such, you immediately head to the hospital to let him know about this, but receive a polite rejection over the phone

“Why don’t we talk about this after we’re both done with work?”

On the other side, Gavin avoids you, watching as his fingers turn transparent. His use of Evol doesn’t seem very stable, and an ominous black wind curls around his fingertips...

Even though the Hunter Game has come to an end, LFG’s acquisition of companies related to the “Small Syringes” continues to draw heated debate

Victor hasn’t contacted you, but Goldman passes on a message, telling you to give a report on a proposal in LFG

Victor’s office is empty, but tiny hints that differ from the usual enables you to find the message left behind by Victor for you

“Don’t make me wait for too long.”

Through making Victor’s documents public, you restore LFG’s reputation, and also toss aside the ungrounded information that Victor was taken away by the police, and exert pressure on NW which took Victor away

At the same time, according to the message, you head to Grandpa Chuck’s small wooden house

Victor is likely using such methods to ensure your safety. Unfortunately, NW manages to find you, and brings you away

Here, you see a handcuffed Victor

Now that you’re here, you’re able to give Victor a more comprehensive understanding of what’s happening in the outside world. Victor has also analysed that Joker, who was almost successful, would definitely take action soon

Right after he finishes speaking, there is an explosion in Prison Island

“Remember. Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

Victor starts negotiating with the commanding officer

In exchange for him crossing time and space to keep the Prison Island under control, Victor requests for NW to guarantee your safety, remove the handcuffs, turn off the surveillance cameras in the room, and ensure both of your freedom after the matter is resolved. You also mention that you’re able to read memories of the people involved in the explosion, and can obtain Joker’s location and objective

The commanding officer of NW agrees to this deal

Through reading their memories, you find that Joker was on the island to do up a detailed plan, and he seems to be searching for something. You also find that this is the island you weren’t able to access the previous time - Small Rock Reef

On the other side, Victor has begun to direct the other island

“I more or less understand the situation. Prepare to begin.”

While giving commands, Victor determines that a certain object on the island is still absorbing energy, and he immediately pauses time

Victor suggests using himself as bait to force Joker to appear. This way, NW could use this chance to arrest Joker. Victor will take the initiative, and all NW has to do is agree

Before the plan begins, Victor specially sends you away, and accepts a certain drug from NW which can heighten his Evol

The plan to arrest Joker is underway. Victor shares his actual thoughts with you

He senses that NW intends to collect the spoils of victory without lifting a finger. As such, he needs you to read Joker’s memories, and be one step quicker in finding the thing he’s searching for, and then destroy it

“We only have one chance. Got it?”

When Joker appears, Victor pauses time temporarily. You seize this chance to learn that what he’s searching for is that stone tablet which has the symbol “8″ engraved in it

You do everything you can to search for it. Despite looking like a mess from running and falling, you successfully destroy the stone tablet

The plan succeeds. However, before you and Victor can celebrate, NW goes back on its word, arresting the both of you

At another location, Gavin is wearing formal attire, and he has arrived at a small courtyard

“After I find out the truth, I’ll exchange them back with you.”

Facing an elderly person who doesn’t trust him, Gavin removes his gun and badge, giving them to the other party

He seems to have made up his mind about something

During the interval when NW is arresting Joker, the youth who hangs out with Joker escapes

He pushes open the door, and the person standing in front of him is Lucien

“Because I’m the same as all of you, and need “intelligent people”.

Volume 6 (Ch 18 - 21): here

More S2 content: here

[psychicdreamfriendoperator]

I feel bad for clogging up your ask box but I really wanna hear more of your headcanons you have😭😭do you have any about hino? Like about how he is, his personality, etc. Paru not developing him more was a crime

Potential Triggers

child exploitation / mention of child exploitation

insomnia / mention of insomnia

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Don’t feel bad— including the ask you sent last time, this is only the 4th ever ask I’ve gotten on this blog!

In any case, answering asks is a lot of fun 👉🏾👈🏾

For some of these headcanons, I took several . . . creative liberties — after all, Paru gave us crumbs regarding any Shishigumi member that wasn't Ibuki or Agata :'D

Hopefully this is what you meant! If it wasn't, feel free to resend the ask!

— Psychic

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History

“Looks bring jobs.”

That was the message Hino’s mother instilled in her son.

As a sex worker, her appearance was her everything.

Her beauty and charisma allowed her to cherrypick wealthy clients; their dirty money funded her lavish lifestyle.

When she grew older, and when life in the Black Market began to take its toll on her youthful appearance, Hino's mother saw her son with new eyes, and in those eyes, she saw an opportunity.

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“Hino, you're such a pretty little thing.”

Her hands caressed his cheeks, and she pulled the skin there, pulling Hino’s eyes up towards her.

She hummed beneath her breath, a guttural noise. “I've always said that you have my looks and none of your father's, you know.”

“Hah...” Her grip tightened.

Long digits combed through his mane, curling and pulling gently on the smaller hairs. His mother's gaze seemed to wander over his body, and her eyes shone.

“We're going out tomorrow, Hino.”

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Hino was rented out as if he were a party favour.

He was exotic . . . male lions with such handsome colouring were a rare delicacy— he grew up hearing those words.

One day, he didn't return home.

He had been scouted, and then swiftly recruited by leader of the Shishigumi, who recognised that the boy could be useful to the syndicate.

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Personality

Hino typically adopts a suave, yet charismatic persona when interacting with clients or animals who are not part of the organisation.

His true personality is more withdrawn and is filled with self-loathing for the childhood and young adulthood he will never be able to get back.

He feels very detached from everything some days, and his insomniac episodes do little to help.

Still, Hino is a loyal member of the Shishigumi.

He considers the inner circle of the syndicate to be the family he never had— even after acknowledging the criminal nature of it all.

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As horrid as his past was, he still led a reasonably charmed life, and sometimes, his behaviour reflects this.

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Hobbies, Skills

Hino has become the unofficial mane-stylist of the Shishigumi.

He also applies all of his own make-up; both skills are leftovers from his younger days.

Free also convinced Hino to give motorbike riding a try— the latter seems to be a natural at it.

As for hobbies, he prefers activities which require little to no energy, or activities that are repetitive.

Reading, and casual videogames such as Beast Crossing, Harvest Sun and Starmist Ravine are all very popular with him.

Recently though, he's taken up bullet jouranling and watercolouring.

He would love to take up sewing as well but he'd have to find the time for it.

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Quirks, Odd Habits

Hino’s voice hardly ever goes above a purr. It's a force of habit, as well as what's most comfortable for him.

Whenever the Shishigumi kill someone, Hino's the one that divides whatever loot they find among the others.

Speaking of looting, he also steals any antiques or similar valuables he finds in a target’s residence.

He's found quite a few good things this way— a mirror, some wine glasses and even an old sewing machine.

He's also a bit of a pillows collector: he has many types, almost all of which are differing shapes, colours and lengths.

Hino has difficulty falling asleep, but once he does, he can sleep just about anywhere.

It isn't uncommon for him to fall asleep on a sofa and end up with half his body on it, and the other half on the floor.

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Contrary to popular belief, Hino is not very self-absorbed at all.

Common Misconceptions, Miscellaneous

He has a resting bitch face; he doesn't hide it within the Mansion, but when conducting business, he makes an effort to do so.

He does the bare minimum to keep himself looking “presentable”, and often uses as few products as possible.

Playing up on his natural beauty, and yet not dolling himself up too much is a delicate balance.

Moreover, Hino also doesn't wish to grow dependant on any products— he's seen what that type of dependency can do to a person.

People also tend to assume that Hino is sexually active; he isn't.

His youth really turned him off of sexual relationships, for obvious reasons.

This may come as a surprise, but Hino still keeps in touch with his mother, and even sends money to assist with her living expense.

He does not want any proper relationship with her though, and for the most part, he keeps in contact because he feels obligated to.

As horrible as she was to him, he still considers her to be his mother.

And, by paying for her lifestyle, Hino hopes that it discourages his mother from taking a child off the street and exploiting them as she did to him.

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Romance

Hino doesn't give a damn about appearances.

To him, the most pleasant part of a person is their personality, their thoughts, and the way they view the world.

At the same time, he doesn't wish to burden a future partner with his trauma.

It will take him a long time to open up fully about the life he led as a child.

But once Hino has opened up to you, he becomes more outwardly affectionate.

Sex is okay, but being able to hold his partner — or be held by them, is something that the lion absolutely loves.

Patience, understanding and empathy will go a long way.

[fallenfurther]

Homecoming - A social call

Chapter 3 - Jeff and Colonel Casey

Continuing with Jeff's recovery and relationships with the main characters in TAG. Sorry this one is a little later out than I planned. A flat move and no internet means I had to wait until I had time to sit in a coffee shop.

Chapters 1 and 2.

Enjoy!

***********

Colonel Casey signed herself into the rehabilitation centre for her first personal visit. She'd seen Jeff for official business, the GDF helping to re-establish the astronaut's living status as well as for the obligatory debriefs. The interviews had happened in one of the rehabilitation rooms here. The debrief of his eight years in space had taken a couple of days to complete as they had been required to work around his routine and energy levels. It had been a shock to see the astronaut so tired and struggling, but it was to be expected. She knew Jeff was on a strict routine and diet plan to help him with his nutritional deficiencies and regain lost muscle, though what it entailed she wasn't privy to. She'd wanted to visit earlier, but her position in the GDF meant she had been tied down with paperwork. Now she could finally sit down with her old friend and catch up properly. Heading down the corridor, she found his room and knocked. A short sharp military rap.

"Come in."

The voice was faint, but oh so familiar. She opened the door and peered in, excitement building inside her chest.

"I thought it was about time I paid the great space survivalist a visit."

A grin spread across Jeff's face as he pushed himself out of his chair. She crossed the room in a few strides and hugged the man. He embraced her back, though she didn't fail to notice how weak his arms were compared to the bear hugs she remembered. Her own arms had been reserved so as not to crush his delicate body. The positive was that he seemed stronger than he was when they'd first met which was pleasing, and she hadn't missed how her friend was much steadier on his feet. The need to pinch herself was still present. Seeing that footage and message had been hard, having already accepted the man's fate and moved on. The world would just have to adjust to having Jeff Tracy back.

"It's been too long." The man whispered in her ear, his deep baritones warming her soul in a way only a long lost friend could.

"It's only been two months."

"That was official business. Your lack of uniform tells me this is the social visit I've been waiting for."

Jeff was right and the smile on his face said he knew it. He'd always been this way, so sure of himself. It was what had gotten him so far, and probably why he was still here now. The confident stubborn man. Memories of days gone by, from when Jeff had first started putting International Rescue into motion, flooded her mind. She'd been present at that first meeting when Jeff had asked for clearance for his new venture. Valerie had been a newly appointed Captain, and it was one of her first major meetings. That was the day she'd heard about International Rescue and it had been incredible to see the legendary astronaut stand up and ask for permission to start the organisation. She'd hid her unease and suspicions and had viewed the plans he'd presented in the meeting. The secrecy aspect of the organisation had worried her most, not knowing exactly what was going to be flying around, not knowing who was involved or the training they would be put through. The committee had debated it thoroughly. Five weeks of research, consultations and consideration and International Rescue was given a three month trial, to be extended upon review.

"You won't regret this."

Jeff had promised Colonel Henson when he had been told the news. She'd been present to see the historic moment. The firm handshake that had happened at the end of the meeting as if to solidify and seal the deal. He'd been right. International Rescue had not disappointed and had gone beyond anyone's expectations. They were granted permission to operate. There were still some in the GDF that disagreed with the amount of secrecy surrounding International Rescue and the lack of regulation and control the GDF had over the organisation. Some of that had eased slightly now the location of Tracy Island was now known to the higher-ups, but there were still those that were suspicious. Rumours still passed around, claiming the GDF had a dummy location, that it was all a ruse to make everyone feel comfortable with the situation and they were keeping the Thunderbirds and their secrets elsewhere. There were just some things she couldn't stop. She had been put in charge of monitoring International Rescue. Once introduced, Jeff had maintained contact with her allowing them to develop a strong working relationship, which ultimately led to a close friendship. Though he had always visited her, she'd gotten to know some of the boys before the accident, though now she knew them all extremely well. The boys had allowed more information about International Rescue to be made public, and shared further information still with the GDF, allowing for better communication between the organisations. It felt much better knowing exactly where they were, even if she had no idea what secrets they hid on the island. Scott had blessed her with a tour, allowing her to see what they were happy to share. Seeing it all in-situ had been a sight to behold and something she'd never forget.

"Sorry it's been that way, but you know how it is at the top. There is always a new situation that needs your urgent attention."

Jeff chuckled, a sound that Valerie had forgotten and almost brought a tear to her eye. It pained her how small things about a person could slip from your mind over the years. The man before her really was legendary. He was an astronaut people would talk about for years to come. He was also a great friend, who had always supported her journey through the GDF ranks.

"I used to know. I'm a little rusty and many things have changed. I've got a lot of catching up to do. I thought some of the technology Brains used to think up was way out there, but some of the new gadgets I'm seeing and hearing about are beyond that. I'm feeling old. Old and left behind."

Valerie noticed the change in his face and the slight dimming of the shine in those blue eyes. Jeff was old, but there was more to this than that. Placing a hand on the man's shoulder she guided him back into his chair and knelt beside him.

"I'm feeling old at the moment." Jeff continued with a sigh. "I'm all creaky, tired and struggling to keep up. They say I should get better, that my body has adjusted to the Oort cloud and that it'll take a while to shift back."

"You were never the most patient man."

That brought a smile to his face, but his head fell into his hand.

"I've spent so much time alone that I can't stand being cooped up in here anymore! The boys and Mum visit but I have less freedom than I did out there. I want to go home. Even if it means subjecting myself to both my mother's constant doctoring, and her terrible cooking."

"Maybe the staff are trying to make sure you're strong enough to stomach your mother's food?"

"Ha! I wish! Nothing on Earth could prepare me for Mum's cooking. I am handling food well though and if I'm honest, Mum won't mess up my diet plan. She knows how much it could set me back."

Valerie moved her hand in slow steady motions over Jeff's back. There was nothing she could do to change the situation, but she knew Jeff needed to let it out. She knew he was putting on a brave face for his family, that only the staff and therapists would know of the real internal struggle happening in the man. Jeff had told her enough about his life and the boys to know he'd do anything to protect his family. Maybe, eventually, he let them be the ones to protect him.

"You'll get there, Jeff. You just need time."

The man sighed, his whole body deflating. He'd had plenty of time in the Oort cloud, far away from everything he cared about. Now he was home, he was still being kept away. She knew the boys were visiting Jeff but it wasn't the same as being home with them. Especially with International Rescue taking them away so frequently. Valerie still got a weekly update on International Rescue’s activity, and although she doesn't read the full reports anymore, she still understood the operation enough to know the toll that it takes on the operatives.

"How has it been, the last eight years, for International Rescue? What's it been like from an outside perspective? Has it worked? Have there been problems? Have you any suggestions?"

Valerie sat back and surveyed her friend. Talk about going straight for the tough topics. She knew he'd ask about her later, but right now his boys were at the front of his mind. She also knew she had to be honest. There was so much Valerie wanted to tell the man, yet today wasn't the right day. Today would just lead the man to worry unnecessarily about his boys. When he was stronger and could enforce change himself, she might raise the latest annual International Rescue report with him. The GDF were concerned, but now was not the time to go down the official route.

"It was tough at first, not everyone liked Scott taking over everything at once, especially as he took on Tracy Industries too. But they rose to the challenge and got the job done, they've made improvements and they communicate more with the GDF now. We still don't know everything about your technology but that was always the arrangement from the get go."

Jeff sighed. "I never expected them to be needed as much as they are. Have you noticed how exhausted they are? Do you know when they last went on holiday? I think it's too much for them."

Valerie steeled herself, knowing exactly how she felt and how much the Tracy brothers would disagree. Everyone knew those boys worked too hard, but they were smart and never broke the flight hour rules, often maxing it out but never going over. The GDF couldn't ground them, even if it was for their own good, especially as there was often no-one else to do the job. Lives were at stake and no-one wanted to be the one to make that call.

"I have noticed the dark circles under Scott's eyes and the way he seems to carry the world on his shoulders. I don't often see the rest of them but the past few years have been pretty intense. I would say they were due a break, if only the world would give them one."

The small smile on Jeff's face showed her she had said the right thing. The concern was still there but the steel in his eyes said he had a plan formulating. She wouldn't pry. Not yet. She was sure she would find out in due course.

"So, you're a Colonel now, and Commander of the GDF. Can't say I didn't see that coming, but there must be a story behind it."

Valerie grinned at her friend, finally on a safer topic. This was what she'd come here for.

"Well, there is, but it's not quite as interesting as yours."

[kingreywrites]

Tradition

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 2624

New Dream Appreciation Week Day One: The Day of Hearts

Summary: "Hey Blondie," Eugene said quietly. She looked down at him as he turned around a little to face her more comfortably. "What do you think about… You know, this whole tradition about signing Herz Der Sonne's diary to celebrate your love?"

Note: not my fav fic for this week, but I hope you’ll like it!!

Read on ao3

@gleamful-lanterns @autumn-ravenclaw

-1-

Sat cross-legged on Eugene's bed, Rapunzel was scribbling intensely on the list of activities she was making to convince Cass that a double date with her and Eugene was the best thing ever, adding little doodles everywhere to support her arguments. Eugene, for his part, was lying down lengthwise on his bed next to her, head and shoulders sticking out. He was tracing mindless patterns on the floorboards under him, looking thoroughly bored.

"Hey Eugene?" she asked suddenly, pencil in her mouth.

"Yes?"

"An activity of swimming together under the stars, yay or nay?"

"Nay," he grunted.

"Really? Why?"

"The water's cold, and Cassandra in it would make it freezing," he grumbled, looking up to see her frown. "Hey, the water really is cold. Plus, this Andrew guy and Cass only just met in person, maybe it's a little too soon to put on swimsuits in front of each other for them."

Rapunzel pondered on that for a second, before nodding. Swimming would have to wait for another double date. She hoped the fifty-six other activities she had planned would be enough to compensate. This was so exciting, she thought with a grin, already fantasising about how great it would be to do all of these things with Eugene, while Cassandra could do them with Andrew.

"Hey Blondie," Eugene said quietly. She looked down at him as he turned around a little to face her more comfortably. "What do you think about… You know, this whole tradition about signing Herz Der Sonne's diary to celebrate your love?"

She beamed at him, forgetting her list for a second as she thought back on the story Big Nose told them not so long ago. "It's so romantic! I love the idea that, for generations, couples signed this book, and that their love will forever live through it!"

"I do too," Eugene answered with a soft smile. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but she didn't notice because right at this instant, an idea struck her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, lightening up visibly.

"Oh?" he parroted.

"Do you think Cass and Andrew are gonna sign the diary together? That would be adorable!" she squeaked, bending down to add book signing on the list. Oh, she was so impatient for this date - she just needed to get Cassandra's permission, but with so many fun things to do together, how could she say no?

When she looked back towards Eugene, he seemed to have deflated, and was looking at the ground again.

"Are you okay?"

He hummed, before grumbling: "You know, the Herz Der Sonne's diary is for really serious couples. Like, those that think that they're gonna spend their lives together, that kind of deal."

"Ah… And you think Cass isn't ready for that?"

"I- urgh," he groaned, "forget it."

She hesitated, sensing there was something more here, something she wasn't understanding. Gently, she put her hand in Eugene's hair and brushed it away, and he raised his head again to give her an honest and loving smile. She smiled back hesitantly, but he didn't add anything. After a few seconds, she decided to keep making her list of activities.

Just for Eugene, she added a couple manucure, knowing how much he loved these things.

-2-

There were a lot of cool things to do on the road - and a lot of less cool things too, like being in charge of the laundry day. Rapunzel had to admit, though there were plenty of tasks she actually enjoyed doing, laundry was… not one of them. It got her hair wet, and it took a long time to dry, and when she arrived in the castle, she had absolutely no trouble giving up on that.

On the road, though, there weren't many options. Thankfully, Eugene offered his help, so now they were both sitting near the river early in the morning, scrubbing clothes together in peaceful silence.

"Sunshine?"

"Mmh?"

"Do you know what today is?" he asked, meeting her eyes quickly before focusing back on the pants in his hands.

"Monday?"

"No I mean- the day today is, it's special."

Rapunzel frowned, trying to remember what Eugene was talking about. She knew it wasn't anyone's birthday, because if there was one thing she learned religiously, it was birthdays. It wasn't any day significant for their relationship either, she knew those by heart too. If Eugene thought she knew it, it had to be from Corona, so…

"Oh! You're right, it's Corona's annual pie eating contest!"

"Ah… no I think that's next week actually."

"Hmm." She put her hand on her chin, trying to think. "Is it 'share with your neighbour' day?"

"Uh… I think that was last week?" he answered hesitantly.

"... are you talking about the day of the snakes? Pascal's really not a fan of this one."

"We have a-- Corona really does have too many celebrations, doesn't it?" he groaned, but he seemed amused anyway, so she laughed.

They did have a day for everything, it felt. She didn't take part in all of them, but she loved learning about these traditions, and she loved even more seeing people enjoy themselves and having fun. Her favourite celebrations were the ones that were beloved by all of Corona, like the Gopher Grab, or-

"The Day of Hearts!" she exclaimed triumphantly, beaming when Eugene nodded. "Today is the Day of Hearts! Aww, I can't believe we're missing it, I'm sure people are having so much fun today!"

"I'm sure they are," Eugene agreed easily, looking back down at the clothing he was still washing. "And, uh, I-"

"I hope my parents are having a good day," Rapunzel said, a little quieter. She knew how much they loved that day, and thinking about it made her miss them more than usual.

Eugene cleared his voice, bringing back her attention to him. "Blondie, I was thinking… Maybe we could organise our own Day of Hearts? Here? Of course it won't be the same but-"

"Eugene, you are a GENIUS!" she jumped to her feet, too full of excitement all of the sudden. "This is the best idea ever, this is gonna be so fun!"

"I have my moments," he grinned, looking proud of himself. "So, what do you wanna do for our Day of Hearts?"

"Apple bobbing," Rapunzel announced without an ounce of hesitation.

"Of c- wait, what? Apple bobbing?"

She nodded eagerly. "I didn’t get to do it last year, what with Andrew turning out to be… Well, you know. I really wanted to, though, and I swore to myself that I would do it next year, which is today!"

"But you played that game in Corona already."

"Not on the Day of Hearts! It wasn't the full experience. Ah, and I'm sure Lance and Hookfoot will find it fun too, plus you know how Max is with apples," she said with amusement.

"Ah." Eugene seemed a lot quieter. "You want everyone to participate."

"Of course!" she sat down again to finish the laundry, a new energy in her actions. The quicker they did that, the quicker they could start. "That's really an amazing idea Eugene, I can't wait!"

He smiled, but it looked a little weird to her. It wasn't the proud and happy smile he had only minutes earlier. "I'm glad you like it, Sunshine."

"I love it, really," she insisted.

Eugene's smile seemed a little more genuine after that. And he actually had fun too during the apple bobbing - Rapunzel wasn't sure what he had been disappointed about at first, but she hoped it was resolved.

-3-

Oh, Rapunzel thought one year later, I am an idiot.

She… She had never really considered the idea that Eugene might want to spend the Day of Hearts with her only. She knew it was a day for romance, and couples, but- but she had always seen it as a day for other couples, for some reason.

Even these last days, when Eugene had asked again and again about signing Herz Der Sonne's diary together, she had been more focused on her parents' relationship than anything else. She didn't mind the idea at all, she even wanted to do it, but she didn't feel like it was that important in the grand scheme of things.

Then, King Trevor destroyed the diary. And she had decided to make a new book, thinking that it would be enough, but even now as she was painting the cover, she understood it would never be the same. All these names, these signatures written by people who wanted their love committed to memory, sometimes hundreds of years before today… All of that was gone. And though she liked to think that their love was eternal, and wouldn't be affected by it, she couldn’t help but mourn these lost memories. Corona was what it was now because of these people, and the love they had shared. They didn't deserve to be forgotten.

That line of thought led her to Eugene's insistence that they sign the diary, and suddenly she understood it more - understood the desire for their love to be part of a shared history, a shared tradition. They didn’t need it, but the gesture held a certain significance she hadn’t realised before. With this fact in mind, his behaviour from the previous years made much more sense all of the sudden. The propositions he hadn’t been able to voice, his frustration that he was quick to hide when she mentioned spending the day with other people… Eugene obviously cared about this celebration, and about the meaning it held for their love, and he had wanted… He had wanted to spend time with her, and she hadn’t even noticed. Surveilling her work on the new Book of Hearts, Rapunzel felt a pinch of guilt, but squashed it quickly. She knew Eugene would not blame her for not reading his mind, and instead of wallowing, she could make sure that this time, their love would be her entire focus for the remaining time.

Starting with the Book.

Smiling, she turned the still blank pages, imagining all the new names that would soon fill it. As much as she wished the ancient diary hadn’t been destroyed, she knew that love in Corona still had a bright future, and that these pages would soon be entirely covered by the signatures of couples old and young.

But there was one page she wanted to keep. One page that was for Eugene and her only. There was no hesitation in her mind when she chose the page in the exact middle of the book, because their love was the center of her own universe. Eugene was neither her beginning or her end; he was her entire life, the one holding her pages together. She hoped it was how he saw her too.

Going by the beaming smile he gave her when she gave him a quill, and made them sign the new Book of Hearts together, she’d say she got it right. He held her tightly against himself when they embraced, glowing with a joy she wished she had given him earlier.

She got distracted, after that, by her parents starting to recover their memories. They stayed together all evening, all four of them, just chatting together like they used to do when she first came to the castle - Rapunzel loved it.

When night fell, and her parents retired for the evening, Rapunzel and Eugene went to hang out in her bedroom. His bedroom was full of eggs anyway and, she reasoned, and it was easier for him to sleep in her room than to find an empty one.

This was a logical decision, see, not simply her wanting to cuddle with him all night.

"Hey Eugene? Can I tell you something?" she asked, once she had gotten in her more comfortable nightgown, and he had foregone his jacket and his boots.

"Of course," he smiled, shifting so she could sit next to him. "What's up Blondie?"

"I… I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't understand how much the Day of Hearts meant to you before, and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me."

"What? Hey, there's absolutely nothing to be sorry about," he immediately answered, hand going to her cheek.

"Let me explain?" she asked gently, and after a short hesitation, he nodded. "I don't think I did something awful, but I think I didn't pay attention to your feelings on this subject, and I'm sorry for that. The Day of Hearts is…" she paused, trying to find her words. "I think it's an adorable celebration, and I love how much people love it, you know? But I never really- I never related it to our relationship. I care so much more about… the day we met! Or our birthdays, or the day you first gave me flowers, or the day you let me paint on you, or- i think you get it," she chuckled, grabbing a strand of her hair to play with. "I didn’t think you wanted to celebrate the Day of Hearts with me, and only me, and I should have… asked you, instead of assuming."

She grew silent, and Eugene took it at his cue to resume stroking her cheek, eyes soft and somewhat amused.

"Again, I don't feel like you have to say sorry. I never asked you either, and you can't read minds, even mine. I… To be honest, I felt a little bad for caring so much about a day like this one," he chuckled, looking embarrassed. "I didn’t want to admit I'm a sap, I guess."

"That's part of why I love you," Rapunzel grinned. Eugene looked cute when he blushed.

"But also, you're right," Eugene added, an intense honesty to his words. "These moments we shared, they're all so much more important to me than this day will ever be. It's okay, if you prefer to spend the day uh… apple bobbing."

Rapunzel snorted at that, surprised. It wasn't long before they were both laughing, remembering the mess that their "homemade" Day of Hearts had been. Hey, at least it had been a fun day. Maximus had fallen into the river because he had been so excited to grab an apple.

"You know what?" she exclaimed. "Last time, I was the one to choose the activity, so now it's your turn! What do you want to do Eugene?"

"It's nearly midnight," he laughed.

"And? There's still a lot of things we can do at midnight! Oh, we could finally go swimming under the stars-"

"The water will be freezing!"

"You have a point." She put her hands on his knees, bringing her face close to his. "Come on Eugene, there has to be something you want to do!"

"I…" He took a second to think, seriously think, before he said hesitantly: "I wanna dance with you?"

"Oh!" Warmth spread in her chest, and she couldn't contain her excitement at this. "Eugene, I'd love to dance with you!"

She grabbed his hands and made them both stand up next to the bed quickly, linking her fingers with his as they stood close enough for her to hear his soft breathing.

"There's no music, though," he whispered.

As if summoned, Pascal popped his head out of his bed, and played with the little guitar he had on him all day. Just like that, they were laughing, and taking stumbling steps together as they swirled around the room. They were both barefoot, only illuminated by some candles and the moonlight, but they didn't need anything else.

Rapunzel went on her tiptoes to kiss Eugene, and he eagerly returned it, holding onto her waist as they slowly swayed together.

[ibijau]

Deathbed wedding pt2

Wishing you again a happy new year. I’m starting mine with some xisang! :D

Nie Huaisang plots, but isn’t as careful as he’d thought

Nie Huaisang absolutely refused to come out of his room to have dinner that night, no matter how much Nie Zonghui and Meng Yao pleaded for him to be reasonable. For a full shichen, he also refused to have that dinner brought to him in his room, arguing through the door that he refused to eat anything until his brother apologised for what he’d said earlier. Then, because Nie Huaisang saw no reason to be kind to his brother, he also repeated Nie Mingjue’s exact words to them.

He could guess, already, that Nie Zonghui was probably going to have an argument of his own with Nie Mingjue on that subject. After all he’d been the one to personally train Nie Huaisang since he’d decided to finally take an interest in his sabre. Saying that Nie Huaisang hadn’t made any progress in the past year was to insult Nie Zonghui’s skill as a teacher, and being their cousin he shared that volatile temper of theirs. Busy handling two fights at the same time, Nie Mingjue was sure to be quite distracted in the days to come.

More importantly though, Meng Yao was going to be angry at Nie Mingjue too. Considering his background and his late start, he sometimes took it a bit personally when people spoke of someone having low skills. He had been very supportive of Nie Huaisang all along, even sometimes training with him when his other duties allowed, and he would not take kindly to hearing that Nie Mingjue thought some people couldn’t be taught at all. His anger would be less explosive than Nie Zonghui, and Nie Mingjue probably wouldn’t even consciously notice it, but it would still throw off their perfect balance, and that too would play to Nie Huaisang’s advantage when the time came.

Besides, he really was upset over what his brother had said, and so it really did feel good to complain about it.

When Meng Yao and Nie Zonghui gave up on making him eat that evening, Nie Huaisang dug into the secret stash of snacks that existed precisely because of this sort of arguments.

He went to bed early, and rose up again just as early, a habit he had taken up during his time in the Cloud Recesses. While most of the sect slept, Nie Huaisang set to work preparing some talismans.

With Chiwen, his sabre, Nie Huaisang knew that he was exactly as bad as everyone said, if not even worse. Using his spiritual energy directly was no good either, he just didn’t have enough, and it was too weak. But Nie Huaisang had found over the past year that he had a knack for talismans. Calligraphy had always been one of the few things he could focus on, even as a child, and he had a good steady hand when writing. On top of that, he had a great memory and a good eye for detail, which made it easy for him to learn and copy new talismans. It was really a shame that Qinghe Nie had no strong tradition of using those. He hard learned the basic ones everyone knew, but aside from that the few specialised he had found in their library were mostly meant to bait creatures, with very little to actually fight. If Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji hadn’t loaned him a few of their own sects’ talismans to learn, Nie Huaisang’s skill would have been quite useless.

That was the story of his life, of course. Nie Huaisang knew himself to be extremely talented, and in quite a few domains too. If he had been born in a non-cultivating family, he would have been considered a very accomplished and skilled young man fit to go serve the emperor, but alas, in the cultivation world none of the things he was good at mattered.

He had never really cared, until certain events had forced him to.

A good while after he’d woken up, Nie Huaisang heard the rest of his brother’s sect become more active as well. Without surprise, Nie Zonghui and Meng Yao came knocking at his door again. A scene very similar to that of the previous night played out, with Nie Huaisang still refusing to eat anything. Because they both had a lot to do, Nie Zonghui and Meng Yao informed him that they were leaving his breakfast on a tray in front of the door. Nie Huaisang ignored the food, snacking instead on some watermelon seeds while he wrote a letter informing a certain person that he would be at a certain place on a certain day. He gave the letter to one of his better trained birds, crossing his fingers that the animal would carry his message in time, hoping that he would be awaited even if his letter was missed. If he wanted to be at the agreed place in time, he would have to leave that very evening, and to fly faster than he was usually comfortable with. This gave him very little time to prepare everything, but it could be done if he played his cards right.

Between breakfast and lunch time, Nie Huaisang took care of his sabre and practised his forms for a while. Nie Xinfang would be furious if she knew that he was pushing his wounded wrist so much between talismans earlier and the weight of Chiwen now, but it truly wasn’t hurting that bad. Or at least, the pain wasn’t so distracting that he couldn’t bear with it.

At lunch time, Nie Huaisang still refused any food, and also announced he wouldn’t be talking to anyone anymore until Nie Mingjue came in person to apologise. Considering the intensity of the fight, that was unlikely to happen for at least another three days, so he felt quite safe in making that demand.

In the afternoon, Nie Huaisang tried to meditate, only to end up falling asleep. It was fine, he sheepishly decided when he awoke. He needed to be well rested, since he would be flying pretty far.

At dinner time he remained perfectly silent when Meng Yao and Nie Zonghui came to check on him, making no more noise than if he hadn't been there at all. As soon as they left, he brought inside the dinner they'd put on his doorstep and ate the whole thing. This, hopefully, would create the expectation that he was angry enough to skip a few meals, and so his absence would take longer to be noticed. 

With this last part of his plan accomplished, Nie Huaisang only had to pack everything he'd be bringing with him and wait for darkness to fall. 

A little after the sun had fully set, Nie Huaisang exited his room through a window and, carefully avoiding any patrols, any servants still going around, he made his way to a certain secret passage that led outside of the Unclean Realm. 

Meng Yao caught Nie Huaisang at the exit of that secret passage.

How his brother’s deputy had managed to find that exit and to get there before him was a mystery, and one Nie Huaisang would need to solve… some other time.

“I swear I’ll fight you if you try to stop me,” he hissed. “Wen Chao invited me to a Night Hunt, I have to go. You know he always organises the best Night Hunts, they’ve got a bunch of awful monsters on their lands. I can’t let that chance pass me by! So let me go, or I’ll...”

“There’s little glory to be found in fighting me,” Meng Yao retorted calmly. “So don't even bother. And Nie gongzi needs to learn a little patience.”

Nie Huaisang huffed. “Not you too. You know they won’t let him have me even when he’s of age, not if I can’t prove I’m good enough! He’s too nice to go against his elders if they say no again, and then we’ll both be miserable for ever, and…”

Meng Yao laughed softly. 

“This humble servant only meant that if you had waited another shichen to sneak away, he would not have seen you go out,” he explained, looking far too amused in the face of Nie Huaisang's despair. “Nie gongzi should have checked that nobody was still awake. Nie gongzi also should be aware that I’ll have this passage condemned, now that I know it. It’s a security hazard.”

“It’s not. Da-ge is aware it exists, there’s a bunch of protections over it.”

“Then I will have to warn Nie zongzhu that the protections must be strengthened, since that did not stop me from guessing where it leads.”

Nie Huaisang gritted his teeth, so frustrated that he felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. He'd been so close to getting away with this. 

And it wasn’t just about the Night Hunt itself. He knew that Lan Wangji was going, which meant a chance to finally get news from Lan Xichen, since they hadn’t been allowed to write to each other since that day. Nie Huaisang wanted to know how the boy he loved was doing, if Lan Xichen missed him too, if he hadn’t been forgotten, if his efforts to prove himself were working at all…

“Meng Yao, you have to let me go,” Nie Huaisang ordered, gripping the handle of his sabre in what he hoped would seem like a threat, even when they both knew Meng Yao had more skill than him. “It’ll be different this time, I’ll be more careful, but I really have to go. I don’t know how much more time I have!”

Pity flashed across Meng Yao’s face. He’d heard those worrying rumours too, of course. Meng Yao always kept track of all the gossip, he must have heard about this long before Nie Huaisang had. 

Hopefully, none of it was true anyway. 

“I’m not here to stop Nie gongzi,” Meng Yao announced. “I just wanted to make sure there was no breach to our defence, and to warn you it’ll be harder for you to leave next time. And did you take food?”

Relaxing a little, Nie Huaisang nodded, allowing himself a weak smile.

“Of course. Food, warning signals in case I get in trouble, a bunch of talismans… Da-ge taught me well. How much of an advance are you giving me?”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t see you leave, and unless your brother decides to visit you, I won’t ‘discover’ you’re gone until tomorrow afternoon. But you will owe me,” Meng Yao warned with a pleasant smile. “And next time, if I catch you, I will alert your brother.”

From anyone else, it would have been a threat to stop disobeying his brother already. Coming from Meng Yao though, Nie Huaisang took it more as advice to improve his sneakiness.

“There won’t be a next time,” Nie Huaisang promised, throwing himself at his brother’s deputy to hug him. “I’ll show them for sure this time, and then I’ll never have to go on a stupid Night Hunt again!”

Meng Yao huffed, clearly unconvinced, but allowed the hug for once in spite of his usual dislike for displays of affection. Nie Huaisang figured he must have looked pretty pathetic if Meng Yao was acting so nice.

He certainly felt very pathetic. It had been over a year since he had last seen Lan Xichen, and he had made so little progress toward proving himself.

This time really needed to be different. He couldn’t keep failing, or else Lan Xichen might start to share his father’s opinion.

Nie Huaisang had to show he was capable of more than anyone expected, no matter the cost.

[worstloki]

What if Loki made scented candles, but like candles with oddly specific scents? I’m not entirely sure where this thought came from but I wanted to share it with you because I figure you’d appreciate it

Because I wanted to, I decided to write on this. You’re welcome.

---

While readying for his attack on New York - a location he had picked due to a very specific landmark that he believed ought to attract the heroes’ attention sooner rather than later- Loki finds himself with a rather large block of free time.

Leaving the SHIELD base with Clint and Selvig had, predictably, but also to his immense disappointment, proven to be an ingeniously efficient way to gain the required research and to amass enough villainous hands to actualise the equipment to open a portal; members of the spying business such as Barton do tend to have useful knowledge on a wonderfully large amount of people, especially of the opposing side, after all. 

Having been touched by the mind stone, Selvig carries out the scientific theory aspects of the wormhole generator without assistance. Hawkeye’s ability to successfully market a sales pitch that should not be appealing in the least (re: “trying to help an alien prince conquer the world, you interested?”, “I’ll owe you one if you can find the time to help build a portal machine to space” and “there’s free food in it for you if you join with no questions asked”) has resulted in enough people contributing to get the work done.

From there everyone began to organise themselves, and Loki had been thoroughly left with nothing to do. Nothing world-saving (or, as everyone else will insist, ‘world-dominating’) at least.

As is often with Loki, his best ideas occur when he is completely and utterly bored. And right then, sitting in the dark sipping on hot chocolate (yes, he had invested in a drink machine. He has employees and just because he may be perceived as such, he is not actually a monster. Not enough to say no to coffee for Barton.) he looked out at the assortment of people scurrying about to get work done, and he realised he was bored. It was nice of Clint to offer him the sweet drink, but he could not spend the next few days occupying himself with cocoa beverages.

Loki knew his physical capabilities were a bit tenuous at the moment and it would be unwise to take part in any activities that would take up too much energy, but sitting on a step in the dark watching his workers buzz about, helping simply because they could, Loki decided they should be rewarded with a token gift at the very least.

Sitting on a step in the dark Loki decided; using the smell of the sickeningly sweet drink to ground him to the present, using the heat of the mug in his palms to warm his hands, tracing the pattern on the painted ceramic to hide the slight tremors in his fingers that hadn’t seemed to be lessening despite having left the company of his extremely kind patrons a full day ago, with the taste of the flavoured milk on his tongue, Loki decided he would gift them each with something of equal value. Something that would calm their anxieties and ground them, give them warmth, and if he could figure out how, he would even get the candles to induce taste.

After a full five minutes combining a creation spell meant for refilling candelabras with one meant to draw on memories to scent the air Loki is able to create the first candle.

It is, in appearance, a regular wax candle; not unlike one expected to be found in a normal Midgardian store. After some thought he adds a casing made of green and black stained glass and places a gold bordered sticker reading “loki”.

When lit Loki knows the candle will not only warm the vicinity more than a single flickering flame ought to, but will also smell of and provide the comfort he felt as he drank the chocolatey beverage, to whomever lights the candle, for as long as the flame burns. The candle will also last a tad bit longer than regular candles and Loki sincerely hopes no one will notice something like that.

Such simple spells of creation should not require much time or effort to make on his part and the candles will provide the perfect personalised gift to thank the people working under him who for whatever reasons seem disinclined to accept monetary payment. It is, in his opinion, the ideal gift as it can be used for decorative or pragmatic purposes and can be theoretically placed anywhere and still induce the calming effect the scent will have.

He begins drafting ideas for memories he believes would be suited for each worker on a notepad he’d purchased on his way from escaping the SHIELD base.

His task force is not too large but considering moments which he would wish to share into each candle, moments which they would enjoy as much as himself, requires some thought. Despite the amount of thought he is putting into what smell different people would find comforting he assures himself that he is gifting these candles out of a sense of duty as it would be dishonourable not to pay the people who are genuinely helping him… for the sake of helping him. They are, after all, his workers, and only a portion of them even required the sceptre. Servitude should be rewarded, even if they refuse to be paid in cash or gold.

Despite not harbouring any care (not even a drop of care, honestly speaking) for the humans around him he spends most of the afternoon brainstorming smells and matching his people to experiences he thinks they would like.

---

After a quick walk around to gauge the rate at which progress is being made, he takes a seat on the side of the room and starts coaxing the first candle into existence. He is annoyed when he feels The Other pulling his attention, but projects himself away anyways as it would be quite rude to ignore. (And is quite mentally agitating to ignore.)

“The Chitauri grow restless.” The Other states.

Not even a hello? Loki thinks bitterly before replying: “Let them go at themselves - I will lead them into glorious battle.”

“Battle?” The Other all but spits, “Against the meagre might of Earth?”

“Glorious, not lengthy”, Loki assures him, wondering if The Other realises he is insulting the very reward Loki had agreed to (bargained for), before deciding that No, The Other wouldn’t recognise an insult if it slapped him across the astral plane. To prove his own point he continues, “…if your force is as formidable as you claim”.

“You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the sceptre in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated?”

Not at all, Loki thinks, in fact, I did not utter a single question.

Just to see how off-topic he could veer their conversation this time, he decides to reply with the first petty thought that comes to mind.

“I was a king! The rightful king of Asgard! Betrayed!” he yells, as he instead concentrates on the feeling of his feet sinking into white sand and the sharp smells of the salty expanses of water that appear in southern Alfheim during the rainier seasons.

He already decided he is got everything he was going to get out of this conversation, and so he continues creating the candle on Earth, paying only enough mind to keep the conversation going.

“Your ambition is little, born of childish need.” The Other reprimands, “We look beyond the Earth to greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil.”.

“You don't even have the Tesseract yet.” Loki points out, pointedly.

The issue with dividing your conscience is that sometimes you forget the brain to mouth filter needs to be left on.

When The Other moves as if to attack him for his insolence he makes sure to console the six-handed-one’s ego enough to not get him to dig into his brain and cause him pain with his mental capabilities. Limited though The Other’s mind-bending powers are, he would not allow himself to stop it because his flimsy cover of being on the dark side would be blown.

It would also be inconvenient for The Other to realise he was thinking of sandy beaches and only had 34% of himself paying attention to him while the other 66% was thinking about Alf beaches in the monsoon.

The rest of the conversation with The Other was unimportant, and as usual he was dismissed with a sharp pain in his head.

It did not matter. When he returned his full consciousness to himself, he grimaced for only a second before looking down at the unassuming candle laid before him. Its casing was of purple and black stained glass and there was a white label with fancy gold outline and the word “Barton” in black calligraphy.

---

By the time it was morning Loki had finished distributing the candles. He’d made 143 of them; one for everyone in his service, and 2 extras for the men that had broken down into tears and dropped their candles the first time around.

Apparently, though these people had joined him of their own volition, they were still people. Most of them had been driven to a negative lifestyle by their living conditions and society’s discrimination which apparently had no system in place to give hospitality to all who came under their governance and needed assistance.

He found himself wondering if he actually should try to take over this world; the planet is clearly in need of a central governing system to prevent all their internal spats. The fact that they could discriminate within their own species to such extents was shocking, even to Loki: even indecisive enough to contemplate what to wear weeks in advance as he tended to do, it had only taken him going through a few academic papers to come to the opinion of humans as monstrous. Not all of them, of course - only a select few were truly abhorrent, and yet what a select few they were.

No, he thought, even I would not be able to fix this mess without blood, sweat, and tears. Not that he cared for Earth or anyone else in the realm.

---

He lasted as long it took for Clint to say he had a plan before he succumbed and made everyone a spare candle. Just in case.

He would not want Hawkeye to miss the salty tang of air that would soothe his nerves and remind him of the softer sounds in the world when his hearing aids or childhood memories suddenly cropped up to trouble him. He would not want Samson to miss out on the sensation of Asgard’s warm sunlight brushing his skin on a day when his terminal illness sent his chill bone deep. He wouldn’t want to deprive Demerton the smell of grass and the feeling of happiness Loki had felt when he tried to throw a knife onto the target and for the first time it actually landed – not that Demerton needed to know the unimportant details about the self-esteem boost –with his image issues the feeling would be something he needed.

Loki would not want his gifts to go unused simply because one of the foolish mortals managed to break their candle before they got the chance to light it.

“Tell me what you need,” Loki had answered Barton.

As they worked through the plan together, Loki tried not to think about what good gifts he had come up with, and how generous he was to be bestowing not just one, but two of the candles onto each member of his misfit group of helpers. Not altruistically of course: he hoped his workers would gain him the favour of earth through the candles. Somehow.

---

Twenty minutes into being in a glass cage had Loki deciding that it would be wrong of him to simply abandon all who were helping him, especially since he was planning on being defeated. This was fine for himself since he had made the decision to take a role as a villain, but them? Not even one of them had been given a choice when the universe forced them out of their homes or jobs or family. With nothing else to turn to except a life of crime or death, of course they had decided to live. As someone who had once chosen the latter option, he could not simply abandon them.

He sent most of his consciousness to a building across from Stark’s with 72 floors. It was not as tall as Tony’s, but it did not need to be. While monitoring Earth in his preparations for coming to ‘take over’ the realm, he had taken the building for loan when it had been on sale around a year ago.

It had cost a hefty price since it was across The Stark Tower™ and had been built over land that had previously held a building that looked near as old as Odin, but the price was nothing to him. Not after he bought it with Stark’s money (and the billionaire fool had not even noticed since it did not dent his net-worth, not that he was complaining… Stark’s credit cards were useful).

For now, he sat in a glass cage clearly not built for him (they could never have predicted someone as glamourous as himself showing up in time to have built this). But he also stood in an apartment building kilometres away from the Helicarrier.

He walked around using powered gestures to renovate the building. He would leave behind enough for his group to have the choice between villainy and an honest living.

The hours passed and the Loki in the skyscraper (an adequate name for such buildings) had put together the most therapeutic and entertaining of centres; it had candles and spas and facilities for every relaxation method imaginable but combined the space with recreation for all ages with indoor water rides and arcades and laser tag.

The hours passed and the Loki in the glass cage hadn’t required any of his attention at all; he may have spoken to the Black Widow but with 12% of his consciousness holding the conversation he could not be sure his guise of genocidal maniac had held up – he honestly would’ve liked to meet her under different circumstances, but hoped she hadn’t been able to tell he wasn’t completely present when talking with him.

---

After a nice chat where he blatantly revealed to Stark that his plan had been to lose this entire time, Loki attacked New York. The battle, as he had promised The Other, had indeed been glorious and not lengthy, although anyone actually siding with the villains would disagree. Luckily, Loki was not actually siding with the villains and had no qualms about being smug in his victory (no matter what others thought this was).

Before he left the realm in chains, he had been sure to announce to his batch of subjects that each of them had a job available with Ikol Industries anytime. (Barton, Selvig, and the few others which had the mind stone’s influence upon them had of course been excluded from this job offer.).

Most of the people under him had accepted the deal happily. A lot had teared up about it. Some cried shamelessly. Even less had declined, but Loki had not wanted those spies to stick around anyways.

Loki may have ended up fighting the Avengers with a depleted amount of magic, but that did not matter. He had lost. Everything had gone according to plan.

He may have even left some unassuming therapy candles for each of the Avengers to indulge in, courtesy of Ikol Industries. Each in a glass cover with their colours with names in gold over a white label, it was not difficult to imagine the Avengers becoming regular customers and nicely asking if they had more of ‘their’ candles from those that had assisted him in his faux attack. They wouldn’t even be wrong in assuming the candles were theirs. Loki had themed a floor of relax and rec after each of the avengers and the scents they enjoyed were indeed always magically in stock.

As a keeper of secrets it was incredibly easy for him to inexplicably know what scent and sensations would calm their mind if they were ever in need; especially Banner, who would indeed find his special green candle strong enough to silence the Hulk within him. Tony would not find himself waking in the night in distress if he had a candle by his bedside. Steve would find the dull ache in his chest reduced even when he thought of the life he had left behind when he dove into the ice. Natasha would accept her past actions without any inflation of guilt if she lit the candle during her morning stretches. Clint would always know it was not his fault as the salty tang reinvigorated his senses and reminded him that he could not be blamed for a past he could not control and the lives he could not save. Thor’s candle had a green flame and smelt of his rooms on Asgard.

Perhaps their super-secret boy band would question the individualisation of the candles. Perhaps they would notice the candles lasting a tad bit longer than regular candles. Perhaps Stark being unable to read anything on the composition of the candles would be suspicious. Perhaps they would joke about Ikol Industries being ‘Loki’ Industries and would joke about the ridiculously badly thought-out palindrome and the magical voodoo of the candles which had no apparent source location but were never out of stock. Perhaps they would recognise the workers as previous criminals. Perhaps they would realise the decisions that led them to that life had been circumstantial. Perhaps they would follow their suspicions up and Loki would be unable to answer: either locked away in a cell or dead.

But for all the trouble Loki had caused and for those he had brought suffering upon - even if his intentions had been good - his calmest and happiest memories were the least he could leave behind this world to assist in their recovery.

[pebblysand]

[writing rant - on the monetisation of fanfiction]

a couple of months ago, when i updated my long fic, one of the people on the comments wrote to me the nicest possible review (one of the ones that you keep in your feel-good 'saved' emails - you know the ones), which, amongst other things also said: 'If I could pay you for this...believe me, I would.'

in the moment, i kind of smiled and laughed, and thanked the person for their kind words before moving on with my life. yet, since then, i have to admit that this sentence has kind of been living rent-free in my head. i think it is also because since diving back into fandom a few months ago, i've noticed something that kind of shocked me at first: more and more fanfiction writers seem to be monetising (or attempting to monetise) their craft.

now, back when i started writing fanfic, we wrote fanfic on ffnet and livejournal. it was accepted that thou shalt never (ever) charge money for your writing or else the author and their mean, angry lawyers will come after you for damages and you will die a slow and painful death. we wrote disclaimers at the start of all of our posts and thanked the gods every day when we did not get sued.

i have seen this change gradually over the years. first, in the mid 2010s, the disclaimers went. then, i noticed that people were getting 'tipped' for fanart, sometimes even charging commission. from what i understand (though, don't quote me on this, i'm not an ip lawyer and this post is not intended as legal advice), this is because the way the concept of fair use is framed under us law makes it easier to monetise fanart than it does fanfiction. maybe this is why visual artists came first on this trend. later still (and more recently) i've noticed fanfic writers, doing the same thing.

to be fully honest, the first thought i had when i saw this trend, considering the fear of god (and his lawyers) that was instilled in me in the past, was: how on earth is this even possible? (i'll come back to that in a bit). the second, though, was: fuck, i wish i had the guts to do that, lol.

because, yeah, i will admit, the idea of getting paid for writing what i love to write does appeal, to a certain extent. i won't lie. dear fanfiction writers who've tried to do that recently: i one hundred per cent get it.

looking back at the last fifteen years, i would say that for me, writing fanfiction has been (in terms of time commitment and energy consumed) the equivalent of having an on-and-off part time job. a job that i have held for one or two years at a time, then quit for a while, before coming back to it when i needed (wanted) it again. i obviously can't realistically give you a number re:the actual total of hours i have spent at this since i started out, but i can give you an idea. recently, i started clocking my hours out of interest and calculated that a chapter of my current long fic takes roughly between one hundred to two hundred hours to produce (and they're around 10,000 words). at that rate, i'm probably working 20 hours a week-ish? sometimes more, sometimes less? something as small as a three-sentence fic (like this for instance), takes roughly two/three hours. i'll be honest, i have cancelled plans to write fic. when i'm working on a long project, i do tend to organise my life to give myself the time to write, so i opt for socialising after work during the week rather than on weekends, as i've found this is when i write best. i won't lie: it is - for me (i know some people write quicker, bless them) - a huge time suck.

so, yeah, i understand, in the capitalist society we live in, wanting to make that time count. our world has unfortunately, repeatedly taught us that time is money and getting more does seem like a nice bonus (as long as you have an audience for your art that's willing to pay, obviously). after all, year after year, i've seen a lot of my friends try and monetise their passions as side hustles, with varying success. at first, glance, i look at the time i spend on writing fanfiction and think: man, i wish i could get a bit back from that too. i couldn't even draw a stick figure to save my life but i assume that the time commitment and energy put into that kind of work is roughly similar for visual fanartists as well. i thus very much understand the sentiment, both with fanart and fanfiction.

additionally, though i appreciate this is a bit tangential, the fact that fanfiction is free, i would argue, hinders its potential to be as representative as it could be. it's a bit sad because on the one hand, the fact that it is free makes it completely accessible to the masses but on the other, it makes fanfiction quite exclusive to rich, privileged people who can afford to spend the time and energy putting content out for free. if i spend this much time writing fanfiction, just because i like it and it makes me happy, it's because my full time job pays me enough to cover my bills. if it didn't, i probably would have to forgo writing and get a proper side gig. if you look at my periods of inactivity on ao3, those also kind of coincide with the times in my life when i had to have more things going on to put food on the table.

so, now, assuming that monetisation is a thing that, as a fic writer, one might want to look at, the next question is: how do you go about monetising it? obviously, the law hasn't changed since the days where we were all terrified of getting sued (although enforcement has been quite lax over the years) so it's more about finding workarounds around the law as it is, rather than actively seeking payment for fanart.

from what i've seen: two main solutions seem to exist.

first, there's the tipping/buy-me-coffee technique. as i understand it, this involves either setting up a page on one of the dedicated websites or just putting up your paypal account link on your tumblr posts. with these links, people can then send you however much money they want (however much money they can afford/think you deserve?) on a one-off basis. they're not actually paying for fanfic because there is no actual exchange of services, it's basically like them giving money to charity, except that charity is a fanfic writer/ fan artist whose work they enjoy.

there are two main issues i see with this: one, legally, i'm not sure how much ground this actually holds. assuming you're quite prolific/successful, if every time you're producing new content, you receive dozens of tips, although you're not actively charging for your fanart, making the argument that your content isn't what these people are actively paying for seems hard. imo, the fact that this method sort of holds is that realistically, you're going to make very little out of this. even if you're really good, you might make what? a couple hundred dollars. now, sure, that's a lot of money for a lot of people but in the grand scheme of things, no one sues anyone for such a low amount. as long as you're not making 'proper' money from it, it is highly unlikely that anyone would come after you.

this being said, the second issue, from my perspective, is that this is not in any way, shape or form, a reliable income. it also does not represent, at all, the cost of the time and investment actually put into said fanfiction (or fanart, i assume). for example: if you're going to tip someone who's worked on something for, say, fifty hours, ten dollars, that's very good of you, but that isn't going to be 'worth' their time. it is only worth their time if tipping is done at as scale, which imo is quite unlikely considering you're putting your content out for free anyway. there are kind souls who will tip you, but not that many, meaning that ultimately, you're not working for free anymore, but you're still working at a huge loss.

additionally, because this income is not even reliable on a monthly/weekly basis, it isn't something that anyone can actually rely on, even if only to fund their coffee habit. it's nice to have, don't get me wrong, but from my perspective, is the legal risk outlined above worth the trouble for the $20/30 tips i'd get every once in a while - not really. such low amounts also don't help diminish the class issue that i talked about earlier. again, if you're going to spend fifty hours on something, you might as well work a minimum wage job - even that will pay you more and will be dependable.

second, there's patreon (and patreon-like sites). here, the income is monthly, people pledge on a subscription basis, which does solve the last point above. it might not be much, but at least it's regular.

the main issue i see with patreon is that it is contingent on the author providing more services on top of what they already provide. in most cases, the author will keep putting their usual content out for free + provide their patreons (depending on tiers) with more content, specifically for them. this, to me, makes this scheme even less appealing than the previous one because a) if i can't provide fanfic to potential patreons (again, you can't sell fanfic), i'm not sure what on earth i could give them (original content? that's not really the same market) and b) that's even more work on my plate. honestly, considering the amount of time i already spend writing fanfic, i have neither the energy nor the willpower to provide extra content for an amount that, regardless, will probably pay me less than a part-time job would. again, you'd have to scale this (i.e. have enough patreons) to make it all worth your while, and even in very big fandoms, even for someone waaaaay more successful than me, i doubt it would be likely.

lastly, as a side note, both of these "methods" are solely accepted if they occur on tumblr/writer's own website, rather than on the writer's ao3 page/fic. there was a post going around explaining why that is (nutshell: it endangers ao3's status as a non-profit archive) but as with all things, i seem to have lost it. [if you do have the link to that post/know what i'm talking about, hit me up and i'll rectify this]. this, regardless, supposes driving traffic from wherever you post your fics towards tumblr/your own website which, again, decreases your chances of scaling this.

so, in the end, where does that leave us?

i think, at this point, we've kind of reached a crossroad. ultimately, i see two ways to look at this:

option one: if you believe that fanfiction writers should be paid for their art, you also probably agree that the methods outlined above, while they do offer some sort of solution, are less than ideal. the ideal solution (for this option) would obviously be to allow fanfiction authors to be properly paid for the publication of their work through 'normal' publishing/self-publishing deals, without the need for a licence from the author (bar - perhaps - the payment of royalties). that would create a proper 'market' for fanfiction, treating it as any other form of writing/art form. it would mean a complete overhaul of the laws currently in place, but why not? ultimately, in a democracy, laws are meant to be changeable.

this being said, though, while my personal knee jerk reaction would be to shout 'hurray!' at this solution, i do not actually think i want this. or, maybe, only part of me does. the part of me who has been writing fanfiction for free for fifteen years is like 'hey, yay, maybe i could get paid!'. but then, there is another part of me that would like, maybe, one day, to write more original fiction (i already do a bit, but not much). that part of me is feels frankly a bit icky about giving up her ip rights.

would i be comfortable with people writing fanfiction of my original work? hell yes. that would be the dream. imagine having your own ao3 fandom, omg. however, would i be comfortable with people profiting from writing fanfiction of my work? honestly, i'm not sure. to me, the answer to that is: it depends (how much time investment was put in? how original the concept is? etc.) which, in fact, kind of brings us back to the current concept of licensing. and yes, maybe the current frame imposed by copyright law has also shaped the way i view the concept of property, and maybe i should be more of a communist, free-for-all kind of person, but unfortunately, i'm not that revolutionary.

also, and slightly tangentially, i find it interesting how profiting from fanficition/fanart is seen as more acceptable i certain fandoms rather than in others. taking the hp fandom for instance, even prior to jkr expressing her views on transgender rights, i often read things like: 'ah, she's so rich anyway, she doesn't need the money.' now, that argument has not only gained traction but is also reinforced by: 'ah, she's the devil and i don't want to fund her. it'd rather give my money to fanfic authors/buy things on etsy.'

while i completely understand the sentiment and do not, in any way, shape or form, support jkr's views, i do find that argument quite problematic. if you set the precedent that because someone is too rich, or because they've expressed views you disagree with, you don't believe that they should be entitled to their own intellectual property rights, i do wonder: where does this stop? this being justified for jkr could lead to all sorts of small artists seeing other people stealing/profiting from their original work without authorisation. 'i don't pay you 'cause i disagree with you,' would then act as a justification, with i find highly unfair. the fact of the matter is: jkr created hp. knowing that, the choice of buying hp products, regardless of her opinions is completely and entirely yours, but buying the same stuff unlicensed, from people who are infringing on her copyrights seems, to me, very problematic as this could potentially be scaled to all artists. either we overhaul the entire copyright system or we don't, but making special cases is dangerous, in my humble opinion.

option two: we choose to preserve copyright law as it is, for the reasons outlined above. this means that most people will not get paid for the content they put out and that the few that do will operate on a very tight, legal rope, and work for tips that are a 'nice bonus' but not a proper pay. this sort of perpetuates the idea that fanfiction is 'less than' other art forms, because in our capitalist society, things that don't generate money (things often made by women, may i add) are not seen as being as valuable as things that do.

for me, personally, while getting paid to write fanfiction sounds lovely (and makes my bank account purr) in theory, i think i side to preserve the current system. as an artist, i think that intellectual property protects us and our concepts from being ripped off by others, including by big companies who might find it handy to steal a design, a quote, anything, without proper remuneration. this is even more important for smaller artists who wouldn't necessarily have the means to defend their craft otherwise.

this being said, i do appreciate that it depends on why you're writing fanfiction. i think that topic probably deserves a whole different post in its own right but ultimately, most people write fanfic because it's fun. we know it's for fun, and not for profit. and if that's the case, then we're okay to receive compliments, reblogs and sometimes, for some people a little bit of an awkward tip for our work. for me, fanfic has been a space to make friends, to get feedback, to learn and to experiment without the pressure of money being involved. that's why i don't particularly mind doing it for free, and wouldn't even bother setting up a patreon or tip-me jar. i love being able to do it just for the enjoyment of myself and my five followers (lol), without worrying about scaling it, or making it profitable. not every part of our lives, not every passion has to be profitable. as we say in ireland, you do it 'for the craic' and nothing else.

this, though, as i already said, also depends on your means and level of privilege. to me, writing for free is fantastic and a bloody relief - it means being able to do exactly what i want. original fiction writing is full of rules, and editors, and publishers. in fanfic, i can write whatever i feel like, and i'm willing to forgo a salary in exchange of that freedom. again, i have a full time job that covers my bills. this does mean, though, that i don't have as much time to dedicate to writing as i would like to.

and also, the thing is: i'm a small author. i happily write in my own little niche. bar that one comment, it is highly unlikely that anyone would actually want to pay me (or even tip me) for my content. but when you look at very successful people, like the author of all the young dudes, i could see how they'd want to get paid for their art, and why they'd feel differently.

bottom line for me is: the flaws of the current systems of remuneration combined with my strong belief in copyright law as a means to protect small, original creators, means that i don't really think it would be right for me to get paid for fanfic, even if i was the kind of person who had the market for it. whilst it would be nice, this very long rant has, hopefully, explained why.

[another-writer]

Begin Again: Chapter 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7  End

Tags are at the bottom; let me know if I’ve missed you or you wanna be added! Thanks for reading along, and for all the feedback, it’s super appreciated! x

This is partially filler, I hold my hands up to that. Still some kinda fun stuff. Hope you enjoy!

‘[Y/N], don’t you think he’s got a point?’

As much purpose as you felt, you imagined you looked comically weak, walking at a slow enough pace so not to strain yourself but still serious enough. Whether it was more embarrassing or not, Bucky had slowed down from a normal speed to stay with you.

‘What do you think I’m going to do, exactly?’ you scowled. ‘I'm not an idiot.’

‘You’re just as impulsive as Stark is.’

You didn’t like the accusation in his voice. ‘Bucky, I hate to play this card but, I’m the one who got stabbed here, I think I’ve earned at least knowing who did it.’

Bucky stayed quiet.

If Bucky was going to be put off by you keeping something important from him, you weren’t going to take it lying down. You hadn’t intended on hiding it from him for the sake of his ‘fragility’ (you didn’t even think was fragile), but for the sake of Tony.

You marched into the lab, gathering the attention of everyone in the room. Tony was silently telling you to leave; the fact that he didn’t voice it meant he was being lenient. You ignored his glare and stood next to Bruce who was scrolling through several documents at the same time on different monitors.

‘What’ve we got?’

Bruce settled on what looked like a profile page. The man’s photograph on the left and information on the right, all in Russian.

‘His name’s Artur Ivanov. Born 1974. That’s all I can read from this.’

‘His mother was American,’ Natasha continued, leaning closer to the screen,  blue eyes scanning the Russian words with impressive speed. ‘Born in Norilsk, family moved here ... He’s been serving in Hydra since he was forty and formed some sub-organisation when it collapsed. Before all that ... he was a cop.’

Steve quirked an eyebrow. ‘Can we track him down?’

‘FRIDAY?’ Tony alerted.

A  hologram map of Central and North America arose across the lab bench in  the middle of the room, prompting everyone in the room to gather around  the center.

‘Scanning all cameras from Queens outwards.’ FRIDAY’s voice boomed from the speakers. The map zoomed in closer and closer on North America, until -

‘I’m sorry - Dover?’ you scowled, but not loud enough that everyone could hear you. ‘You get missions in Africa and Europe and the guy who stabs me is in Delaware?

‘Looks like was last seen here at an active base half an hour ago after being rescued. They used stolen rental cars.’ Natasha leaned away from the hologram, reading the room.

You didn’t want to admit it out loud given how strange it would sound, but the news that he was alive lightened your heart slightly. ‘Do we know what happened to the other guy?’

An image of the barista with a bullet in his skull and a pistol lying by his open fist appeared.

‘They must’ve shot him dead,’ Bucky muttered. ‘Cleared all traces.’

Wanda paled slightly at the image. ‘Why would they shoot one and save the other?’

‘That guy knew I was there and probably didn’t tell him,’ you replied. ‘I’m guessing Hydra doesn’t take too kindly to errors. Ivanov must be important if they kept him around.’

Steve was studying the image of the two men unconscious on the ground from when you had left them. ‘If these guys know Bucky is out of cryo and were in New York, then we don’t have much time before they come for us.’

'Shouldn’t you wait?’ you asked quietly, looking up at Tony for approval. You then realised you were speaking to people at a much higher qualification than you; while you were sure they hadn’t meant to look intimidating, you still took a moment to hold your own. ‘I’m just saying, I got hurt because they knew I’m close to Tony. Maybe Bucky’s not the only one they’re after. What if they’re trying to provoke you too?’

‘No.’ Bucky’s voice caught you off-guard. He looked like he had been mulling the information in his head, allowing it to settle before he had spoken. ‘If they’re after Tony, or any of you, I’m not gonna wait until they make another move,’ he continued. 'We don’t know what they want with me, but I want to lead this one.’ Despite Bucky having melted into the walls before, he spoke with an authority you hadn’t heard before.

And, as if answering an unasked but lingering question - Why do you want this so badly? - ‘I know him,’ he said curtly. ‘I worked with him, more than once.’  

You were sure you weren’t the only one drawn by the staring contest between Bucky and Tony. Although Bucky was being positive, there was still something tense about their interaction. Tony’s expression was unreadable.

‘Tony,’ you asked quietly. ‘you’re okay with them going?’

‘I’m not in charge, technically they can do what they want,’ he replied, eventually looking away.

Tony’s change in attitude took you by surprise. He could be impulsive but the severity of the situation would, under usual circumstances, cause him to approach with caution ever since Sokovia. He wouldn’t change his mind without reason.

‘I’m coming too,’ said Natasha, her eyes vacant from your conversation and heavy with her own thoughts. She looked up at everyone around her and nodded slightly, as if agreeing with her own words.

Steve didn’t seem thrown. ‘If they find out, they won’t trust you again.’

‘They already don’t,’ she said, folding her arms and shrugging lightly. ‘You guys do, though. And you’ll need what I know.’

‘So, aside from - what - the wrath of the United Nations, there’s no downside,’ Sam said nonchalantly.

‘Okay,’ said Bucky, ‘we’ll fly out in an hour.’

When you saw the others next, they had mapped their strategy out and were filing through the compound on their way to the hangar, ready to leave within the hour. With Rhodes needed elsewhere - you tended to forget he had another job - only you and Tony were the ones left. He had helped you out of the room, trying to stick to principle by not involving himself. You could tell it was killing him.

You were walking to your lab space when you saw Bucky walking towards you, and you were unsure of whether to say something or not. It was his first mission since you had arrived at the compound, and it felt odd not to, regardless if things had become rocky.

‘I know you’ve done this before,’ you said apprehensively, leaning your shoulder against the wall and folding your arms, ‘but it’s new to me, seeing you go on one of these things.’

Bucky had been making a beeline for the elevators to the main reception behind you, stopping as though he hadn’t expected you there, or was lost in his thoughts.

‘There anything I can do to ease your mind?’ he asked, recovering from his daze, hands in his pockets. His pose was a strange contrast to his tactial gear.

You shrugged half-heartedly. ‘You’ll come back in one piece, right?’ you tried to sound  nonchalant, but you heard malaise slip through. ‘You’ve  sort of got a reputation of splitting in two,’ you added, eyes  darting to his Vibranium arm and then back.

Bucky caught you looking and smiled, looking crafty. ‘I’m feeling pretty good about this one, I think it’s gonna last.’

‘As  long as the rest of you does too,’ you said before you could help it,  enjoying the banter that seemed more usual to yours and Bucky’s  conversations. ‘I kind of wish I was going. I can’t imagine I’d be of much use.’

Stop talking, you seethed at yourself.

He shook his head. ‘I’m glad you’re staying,’ he said. ‘Not because I think you’d be useless,’ he added quickly. ‘Just ... you should rest.’

After a beat, he said, ‘I shouldn’t be pissed you didn’t tell me.’

‘We don’t have to talk about that.’ You shook your head mildly. Annoyed as you were about Bucky’s reaction, it was also reasonable (to an extent) and given that he had to go and potentially risk his life at that moment, you figured it wasn’t important.

‘I just,’ he stopped, looking for the right words, one hand going to run through his hair, ‘I get why you had to. And you didn’t owe me that anyway.’

The sound of the elevator alerted you.

‘Hey!’ Sam called. ‘Jet’s ready, let’s go.’ He jerked his head towards the elevator, gesturing for Bucky to make a move. You realised he still probably had to load up on weaponry. ‘[Y/N], what are you doing standing up?’

You raised your hands in mock surrender and backed away. ‘I’m going, save your energy.’

Bucky, walking back with Sam, turned to look at you. ‘I’ll see you soon?’

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[thetranquilteal]

The Gift [AO3] by @thetranquilteal​

Jamie has spent almost every night of his deployment yearning to be with his wife and newborn child. When he is given the opportunity to be home for Brianna's first Christmas, however, he unexpectedly finds himself torn between the past, present and future. 

A modern day short story inspired by @thelallybrochlibrary Holiday Prompt: "Soldier Jamie returns from his deployment in time for Brianna’s first Christmas” submitted by @becc127.

Part I: Home For Christmas

Jamie looked down at the photograph resting in the palm of his hand. 

There sat his beautiful wife, their brand new wean resting in her arms. The stark contrast between Claire’s dark and unruly curls lightly brushing their daughter’s red tuft was only highlighted by Claire’s dark blouse and the cream coloured crochet blanket she had wrapped Brianna in. 

He chuckled to himself and raised his eyes as if to follow the sound carrying away with the wind into the mountains lit only by moonlight shining through sparse clouds.

He could still remember the moment Claire had announced her name over the phone.

“Brianna,” the mouthed to himself and smiled again. He had made a fuss at the time but it had been token, half-hearted at most, as he hadn't truly minded. How could he? After what had happened with Faith -

He shook his head quickly in an attempt to dispel the thought.

He loved Faith. A Dhia, he loved her. So much so that it hurt to think of her - their first, a daughter born too early, too silent and too still - let alone speak of her out loud and, truthfully, he could only deal with so much heartache on a dark night like this, where stars were dulled by lingering clouds and death curled around them like unwelcome hot breath. 

His hold on the photograph tightened as his throat constricted and heart thumped in his chest. 

It had been a standard patrol. Standard. There was a scoff bubbling up from within but he hadn’t enough energy to dispel it, instead opting to let it simmer in the barely controlled but well-concealed anger that had been plaguing him for hours. It was supposed to be standard, damn it! Instead, they had stumbled across an IED. 

Unmarked. Unexpected. Deadly.

Now, instead of continuing their assignment as planned, they would be departing at first light to escort Angus' body home. 

Christ, how he wished he could speak to Claire. Touch her. Feel her. Wrap his arms around and just hold her. 

During her time as a Combat Medical Technician, she had been on two tours of her own and had seen such violent harm up close and intimately more times than he would wish upon any soul. Unlike any other Tech here in this God-forsaken desert, however, she had the ability to heal a lot more than just physical wounds. She had hands that wove stories across the skin, lips that formed words to heal the soul, and a heart more loving than anyone - including he - could ever deserve.

From the very first, when she had come and laid a hand on him to reset a dislocated shoulder, he had known - she was everything. 

Everything he knew he wanted.

Everything he hadn’t known he needed. 

Leaving her, just weeks pregnant with their second bairn, to go on this tour had been one of the hardest things he had ever done and news of a happy and healthy daughter had provided incredible relief. For a moment in time, he was devoid of the burden that had been tying him down ever since he had step foot on the aircraft and the weightlessness had left him giddy with the feeling he could do anything - achieve anything.

But all too soon that feeling had been replaced with something new. A yearning, almost.

A calling. 

On nights he managed more than an hour or two of solid sleep, he would dream of Brianna. Shifting within her swaddle, asleep in her crib. Small fingers wrapped tight around one of Claire's. Crying out blindly in hunger only to be soothed by her mother’s scent shifting closer. 

The following day the images would linger, there in the background of his mind, as they cleaned their rifles and organised equipment, long after shifts changed and there were no words to fill the silence that fell down upon them, and every time they paused to take refuge from the hot sun beating down upon them. 

Despite their continued occurrence, he resisted speaking of them out loud, too afraid that the sound might interrupt the ethereal connection that existed between the two of them. That he might be left even more alone than he already was. 

The mere thought made him grit his teeth. 

In his youth loneliness hadn’t bothered him - if anything he had welcomed it. First, it was the solitude that came with working in the Highland fields as a teenager and, then, the freedom that came with being an entry-level soldier travelling between various stations and training grounds, never staying anywhere long enough to put down roots or form any serious relationships outside of work.

Then he had met Claire. 

While, from that point onward, he had spent his days afield eagerly awaiting their next reunion, their intimate relationship had had very little impact on life in the Armed Forces. It was one that the two of them were used to and one that continued on even after they had wed. When Claire, pregnant and suffering from terrible morning sickness, was released from active duty, however, things changed. It was then he had come to truly understand what it meant to be ‘away’. Away from his wife. His family. His home. And now, another daughter. 

One that would be there when he returned. 

The thought gave him hope - a small flicker somewhere deep down beneath the bone-weary exhaustion and budding sense of desperation.

The sound of worn boots upon dusty gravel grew nearer and he turned slightly, more so due to a long instilled need to keep anything and everything within his line of vision than simple curiosity. 

He shifted again as Murtagh sat down next to him and waited. 

It wasn’t uncommon for the two to sit side by side in comfortable silence from time to time but he knew the man, both godfather and superior, had sought him out with purpose. 

"Received confirmation from Stuart - schedule remains unchanged,” Murtagh stated casually. “Dougal's putting together the last of the equipment. Thought it would be best to leave Rupert be fer now."

Jamie nodded his approval. While Rupert had not been severely injured by the blast, he remained in the medic station for a long while before making his way to Angus' cot to start packing his best friend's belongings and it had been second nature for the team to unofficially take the man off rotation, wordlessly absorbing any and all remaining jobs between them. 

"I should double-check the paperwork's been lodged," Jamie replied though he made no move to stand and Murtagh did the same, having obviously decided it was his own turn to wait. Minutes went by unchecked until he finally said aloud, “I always thought this job couldnae get any harder,” the words spontaneous and providing little to no detail for their use. 

Still, his Godfather understood.

“Tomorrow may be harder than most, aye," Murtagh brushed a hand over his bearded chin and then waved it towards Jamie’s own, "but at the end of it, you’ll be home. In time fer the bairn’s first Christmas, no less.”

"Christmas," Jamie echoed, mostly to himself, nodding his head slowly before looking back down at the photograph. “I'll be home for Christmas.”

When Murtagh put a hand on his shoulder and stood, he dipped his head in acknowledgement but continued looking a moment longer, before tucking it back into his chest pocket and rising himself. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck - a long practised method used to replace the battered armour he had worn for far, far too long but destined to wear a little while longer yet. 

He would be home for Christmas but until that day came, he reminded himself, he had a job to do. And a promise to keep.

A/N: For a lot of people, Christmas is not a time of joy but of sadness, anxiety and distress. There can be an overwhelming sense of pressure to be happy and this underlying notion that expressing anything different is not only inappropriate but harmful to those around us. It leaves many - like Jamie in this AU and myself in real life - conflicted, confused and, at times, hopeless and lost. This story is dedicated not only to all service-men, -women and their families but to all of those who struggle during the holiday season. Please know that I am thinking of you and hope that you, like Jamie towards the end of this story, are blessed with a sense of inner peace and many restful nights. A x

[moonchildsaurora]

The Doctor who’s not really a Doctor

»»—— Crew Member #4 of Space Pirates ATEEZ ——««

all aboard The Perihelion, welcome to the co-pilot’s log system! here you’ll be able to access the crew’s profiles should you wish to read about their journeys:

[CAPTAIN] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

“look I’m a doctor but not that kind of doctor, please don’t bleed all over me”

often described as having celestial-level beauty, with a demon’s fiery soul (and mouth)

get on his bad side and he’ll start a solar flare magnitude of a roast that you wished you weren’t invited to 

“HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, WE’VE BEEN FRIENDS FO-“, “yes OK WE GET IT WOOYOUNG” 

grew up in the upper district of Liyutania where it’s renowned for its rich architecture, scholarly institutions and affluent demography. The lower district consists of merchant markets, working-class citizens and where the nationally popular activity of podracing would take place in Drifters Arena 

Yeosang is half human, half Suva [database file: rumoured to be descendants from the stars] hence the etherealness he’s inherited from his mother. His hair and skin has a soft glow whenever he’s in direct sun light, has limited ability to self-heal (although it takes up quite a bit of energy to do so) and precognition – both of which are common among Suvas. However Yeosang has yet to gain control over his visions; majority of the time it comes randomly and only shows for the next instant/near-future rather than far future 

the days Yeosang wasn’t cooped up reading encyclopaedias on the major comets and constellations of Planet Aipotu, he’d tag along with the family’s cook to the lower districts to help with ingredients shopping 

on the contrary to stereotypes for people of his class, Yeosang was brought up in a family who taught about equality rather than status, compassion over ignorance. So mingling with the lower district community was something he actually enjoyed, often finding the residents to be more genuine despite their rustic nature 

Old Brax from the local bakery would often treat Yeosang to a hot oshiadilla bun [database file: steamed buns that comes with various floral-infused custard filling] ever since he offered to help the baker package and display the food around the shop 

a simple smile, greeting and/or subtle kind gestures were what made Yeosang loveable 

the day 10 year old Yeosang experienced his first vision was the same day Wooyoung came stumbling into his life. A confused little Yeo managed to smoothly side-step and grab onto the stranger with lilac hair to stop a potentially painful crash thanks to his foresight 

“I like your hair! It’s the colour of clouds at sunset….I’m Yeosang by the way. Kang Yeosang! What’s your name?” 

immediately Wooyoung knew this kid was different from the rest of the uppers (slang for the rich ones) and dropped his defences a little more, “name’s Wooyoung and thanks for…” 

“just Wooyoung?” 

Yeosang learnt at a young age just how privileged he really is, and his brows furrowed at thought of how lonely it must’ve been for Wooyoung – what youngling would want to return to an empty house at each day’s end? 

first he split half his oshiadilla bun to share, before changing up young Wooyoung’s routine in a more pleasant way by making sure he’s surrounded by laughter and good company that night 

the Kangs pretty much find themselves having a new addition to the family, the first time Yeosang saw Wooyoung drop his tough exterior was when his mother fitted Woo in his new school uniform and embraced him as if he was her own child 

where Yeosang excelled in, was his studies (because the boy genuinely enjoyed learning) whilst Wooyoung gave it his best, though his intelligence comes in a different form   

has always loved astronomy and reading since young, which his parents were supportive of and provided the means for him to continue studying at the top institutes for his doctorate 

is well versed with 8 different languages and specialised in deciphering scripts as well as star charts/maps by the time he graduated 

being a model student Yeo has a sophisticated disposition with underlying quick-wittedness. He once broke character to deck a classmate with a book and even went as far to throw hands for verbally humiliating and splashing dirty water on Wooyoung in the eating hall. Wooyoung had to hold him back before the Headmistress came storming in to break up the fight 

his parents gave him a stern talking but they understood his intentions, Yeosang’s mother in particular was just as protective of her adopted son

nowadays if Yeosang had to attack it’d be through his colourful vocabulary because, “my jawline isn’t the only thing that can cut a bitch”

he did learn some hand-to-hand combat from San and Wooyoung had taught the basics of shooting a beam pistol – for extra precaution of course 

became The Perihelion’s official navigator after the crew met him at one of Wooyoung’s racing days

long story short: miscommunication occurred with a local merchant so cue Yeosang to the rescue – majority of the crew gawking at this angel – fluently translating to the correct dialect and civilly explaining to the hot-headed merchant that what they meant was “how much?” and not “shit fraud” 

he knew exactly the item they were after (thanks to an impromptu vision again) which caused Hongjoong to be shook, San was mildly impressed and the rest of the crew were just confused

“do you think he can read minds?”, “hush! He’s right there…..though that’d be cool if he could”

“no offence but you might want to work on your intergalactic translations first before trying to translate charts,” and here they all thought that San’s gaze was piercing, Yeosang might as well have shot arrows through them

Yeosang was totally lowkey judging

as thanks Hongjoong invited Yeo along for lunch, classic enthusiastic Mingi picked the boy up before anyone else could say anything and started to walk off in search of food

Seonghwa tried to get him to put Yeosang down because he was 90% sure that the half-Suva was close to using the good ol’ knee-them-in-the-balls, plus the rest of the public were starting to stare           

“HEY! What in Andromeda’s name are you doing with my best friend?!” a wild sweaty, sleeves already rolled up Wooyoung appeared 

thankfully with space dad’s & mum’s intervention, things didn’t get too out of hand (save for Wooyoung nearly butting heads with both San & Mingi) and by the time the twin suns were setting everyone was sharing drinks at the local Tav 

after Yeosang casually enquired Hongjoong’s crew about their intentions for needing the map to Parilles [database file: a minor planet long forgotten in the current’s solar system], there was a moment of silence before a barrage of “HOW DO- YOU CAN READ THIS SCRIPT???”

later on Yeosang would break the news to his family that both him and Wooyoung got invited to ‘an expedition’ which they accepted, “just so I can finally make use of this piece of parchment that I only spent a quarter of my life studying for.” Both of them promising their parents to write whenever they can and visit annually at least 

grew to become Seonghwa’s favourite child, sometimes helping the actual doctor with his work (or care for plant children). Refused to leave his side when the newly-awoken cyborg was in recovery, “there’s just something in my eyes and no I DON’T need tissues” followed by not so subtle sniffles

the navigator’s office is nothing less than regal (contrasting the rest of the ship’s organised mess) with shelves of books, pin boards, dangling starcatchers and a solid cherry oak desk in the middle where Yeosang would be busily scribbling notes with ink & quill on the array of charts he’s got splayed out as his little Yunhogizer flits around. Somewhere in there is also a secret compartment filled with emergency sweet treats too 

currently is dealing with sulky Wooyoung and Mingi because he blocked them on the companion bot’s messenger after that whole spicy photos fiasco that he’s so sure has permanently scarred his otherwise perfect eyesight; “be gone you ferals, and repent for your sins! By the way, I’m revoking bro privileges Wooyoung”

(moodboard made with love, by @s1ardusk​ ♡)

[fortitudina]

                DETAILED CHARACTER BIO QUESTIONS.

Name: Cillian Diarmuid Brockhurst ( Kye-Lan )

Nickname(s): Ci ( Kye ), Brocky, Snipes.

Name significance/meaning: Cillian ~ This name has several known meanings, including “war,” “strife,” and “bright-headed.” The word cille also means “associated with the church,” so the name is often associated with the word “church” or “monastery.”

Gender: Male

Age: 32

Birthday: 11th November

Deathday: ~

Star Sign/Astrology Sign/Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Location: Los Angeles

Birthplace: Los Angeles

Ethnicity: Irish-American

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Physical Appearance: Clean cut and well presented average height male with brunette hair and blue eyes.

Skin Tone: Sandy-Tan ( https://www.schemecolor.com/skin-pastels.php )

Complexion: fair, smooth & soft.

Eye Color: Old World Blue ( x )

Natural Hair Color: Brunette

Height: 5’10” / 1.78m

Weight: 77kg / 169 lbs / 12st 12lbs

Body Type: Mesomorph

Build: Muscular / Athletic

Posture: Healthy [ x ]

Birthmarks: Strawberry mark on his right hip.

Scars: Gunshot scar on the right side of his chest & left side of the hip region of his abdomen. Stabbing scar to his abdomen and one on the back on the right hip area. One on the back of his neck.

Left Handed/Right Handed/Ambidextrous: Right handed

Age Character Appears to Others: 32

Dyed Hair Color: undyed

Usual Hairstyle: Short

Tattoos: Army tattoo on right bicep

Piercings: none

Makeup Style: ~

Clothing Style: Smart-casual

Clothing Size:  Chest ~ 32inches / Waist ~ 26inches / Hips ~ 32inches

Shoe Style:  Steel-toed boots, sneakers, oxfords.

Shoe Size: 10

Nail Appearance: short, well kept.

Eyebrow Shape: Straight ( x )

Features: Soft features overall; perfectly symmetrical 

Face Shape: Oval

Facial Hair: Light stubble

Voice: Deep

Distinguishing Feature: Smile

Extrovert or Introvert: Ambivert

Personality Traits: Cheeky, Compassionate, Loyal

MBTI Personality: ESFJ-A

Optimist or Pessimist: Optimist

Temperament: Cheeky disposition

Mood: Cheerful

Attitude: Positive

Strengths: Caring, Kind, Giving

Flaws: Blunt, Hero Complex, Brash

Mannerisms: Smirking, quirking of eyebrow, cheeky grins

Habits: fiddling with pens or small objects

Morning Person or Night Owl: Morning person

Pet Peeves: idiots, bad lying, loud eaters, slow people ( walking etc )

Favorite Sin: Gluttony

Favorite Virtue: Patience

Weakness: Loved ones or friends & colleagues getting hurt / involved.

Strengths: Sharp-shooter, Skilled hand-to-hand combat.

Expressiveness: strong use of both facial expressions and hand movements.

Ruled by Heart or Mind: A little bit of both; more heart though.

Mindset: Positive

Philosophy:  “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”

Motivated by: Food, Justice, Happiness.

Everyday Speech: “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”

Life Motto: “Don't count the days, make the days count.”

Energy Level: High

Memory Level: Eidetic (Photographic) Memory

Disabilities: none

Phobias: Incredibly small spaces. 

Addictions: Does pizza and poptarts count?

General aptitude: Fluid Intelligence

Mental Strengths: Problem-Solving, Psychoanalysis, 

Mental Weakness: Not a Genius 

Physical Strengths: Physically fit, keen hand-eye coordination, 

Physical Weakness: weakened cervical vertebrae from an old injury during a tour in Afghanistan

Past Illnesses: Chicken pox twice as a kid

Major Surgeries: Surgery to pin his cervical spine. Surgery to remove various bullets.

Accidents: Had several bumps and scrapes whilst at work.

Stability: Very Stable

Allergies: Pollen, Shellfish

Job Title: Detective

Company: LAPD

Career Type: Police

Education: High School, Military, Police Academy

College: ~

Work Ethic: Hard-working

Job History: Sniper in the Army, Beat Cop, Detective.

Income: $74,000 per anum

Political Party/Organizations: Doesn’t do politics

Volunteer Work: Helps at the Veteran’s housing association.

Dream job: Got it

What job would s/he do poorly at: Doctor

Career satisfaction: Love the job

Diet: Coffee and any food easy to grab on the go

Favorite Foods: Poptarts, Barbecue-based, Chicago stuffed crust pizza.

Favorite Drinks: Coffee, Beer, Cranberry juice.

Favorite Movie: Top Gun

Favorite Music: doesn’t really have a favourite

Favorite Book: doesn’t have time to read

Favorite Place: Does bed count?

Favorite activities: Running, Shooting, Cooking

Favorite time of day: Morning

What makes them happy? Catching the bad guys, seeing friends & family happy.

What makes them sad? Losing someone close to them.

Hobbies: Shooting, Running, Cooking, Singing

Interests: Films, Artwork

Favorite animal: Hyena

Loves to do: Wind people up and be cheeky

Hates to do: Paperwork

Inspired by: Former Army Colleagues

Raised by: (family) Mother and Father

Parent Status: Married ~ alive

Mother’s Name: Siobhan Marie Brockhurst

Mother’s Age: 63

Mother’s Background: Irish

Father’s Name: Patrick James Brockhurst

Father’s Age: 68

Father’s Background: American

Relationship with Mother: Close

Relationship with Father: Okay..

Parenting Type: Strict

Only Child? One of Three

First Born, Middle Child, or Youngest? Middle

# of Siblings: Second of three siblings

Relationship with Siblings: Close to brother; Distant with sister

Extended Family: ~

Family Relations: ~

How has family life shaped the character? Helped to both break him and make him who he is today

What they like most about their family: They will all get together for holidays and birthdays

What they dislike most about their family: The religious side

Children: Nil

Pets: Two Dogs

Best Friend(s): Doesn’t have one.

Worst Enemy: ~

Many acquaintances or few close friends? Few close friends

Sexual Preference: Any

Orientation: Pansexual

Relationship Status: Verse Dependent 

Marital Status: Verse Dependent

First Love: Carlie Anne Vaugn 

Current Love or Aspiring Love: Verse Dependent.

Notable Ex-Lovers: Azrael Mortem

Top 3 Loved Ones: ~

Top 3 Disliked Ones: ~ 

Who knows the character best? Eoghan, his brother or Lupita, his work partner.

Childhood: Cillian had a fairly stable upbringing; his parents in a strong marriage and with an older brother to help teach him the ropes, Cillian did well during his early school years and thrived in all of his subjects.

Adolescence: As he got to high school, he joined the football and soccer teams; being rather sporty as a child meant his fitness was impeccable. When he finished High school, instead of going to college, Cillian got in with the wrong crowd and ended up being arrested for Breaking and Entering and several counts of theft.

Young Adult: Went through Military training then, Cillian’s Regiment was sent to Afghanistan where they served three tours before he was shot in the Line of Duty after going through Hell being tortured with one of his comrades.

Adult: After being medically discharged from the army, Cillian took a year out for convalescence before joining LAPD. Given his history with the army, he soon shot up through the ranks until he became a Detective. He will also play the role of Police Sniper/marksman if they have to go into particularly tough situations that require an overwatch. 

Moments/Experiences that shaped them: Getting into the wrong crowd after High school. Being sent into the Army. Being captured and tortured during his final tour in Afghanistan. 

How have they changed as a person throughout their life? He has matured a considerable amount and become regimented and organised as an adult, with a respect for the law and bringing justice.

Major regrets: Getting involved with who he did as a teenager and ending up getting arrested.

Biggest life lessons learned: Don’t get arrested.

Religious Beliefs: Catholic

Upbringing: Strict & Religious

Core Values: Dependability, Consistency, Loyalty, Reliability, Integrity.

Morals: Always tell the truth, Treat others as you want to be treated, Be dependable, Be forgiving, Have integrity, Take responsibility for your actions, Have patience, Be loyal, Have respect for yourself and others

What does s/he believe is evil? The force in nature that governs and gives rise to wickedness and sin.

What does s/he believe is good? Morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious

Risks Worth Taking: Those that keep both the city and loved ones safe.

Important milestones: Making Lieutenant in the army. Reaching Detective in LAPD. NOT DYING whilst in both the Army or LAPD.

Achievements: The Purple Heart as a result of his capture & suffering endured during that time.

Failures: Getting Arrested as a teenager

Lifestyle: Busy

Character Traits: Hard-working, Brave, Compassionate, Honest, Successful, Fighter, Mischievous, Thoughtful, Sassy, Humorous, Helpful, Independent, Loyal, Courageous, Responsible.

Culture: 

Main Goal: Have a long and happy life, full of hard work, fun and family.

Minor Goal: Drive the damn car at work.

Desire: There are several.

Biggest mistakes: Getting in with the wrong crowd.

Life lessons: Not everyone is going to like you.

Dream Life: The one I have now

Worst Nightmare: The Hell I endured whilst on my final tour.

Favorite Memories: Winding my brother up. Making Detective. 

Least favorite memories: Getting Tortured

Things they want in life: Family. Love. Fun.

Things they don’t want in life: Suffering. Pain. Heartache.

What obstacles are currently in their way? Work.

Any secrets: Yes, but if you think he’s going to tell anyone, you’re idiotic.

Worldview: It’s just a little bit fucked.

Personal Hero:  Former Sergeant Major. 

Internal Conflict: Questioning if he’s good enough for his job at times.

External Conflict: Seeing the scars upon his body and being reminded of each event; wishing he could get rid of them all.

What others think of them: Fun and loveable; a genuine and caring guy. 

What they think of themselves: an idiot; not good enough. 

What they wish they could change: What they did in the past.

What they wish they could have: less strict father.

What gets them fired up: Liars. Suspects who think they’re clever. 

Their definition of a good life: A steady job with a family and friends surrounding them.

Risks worth taking: Anything that keeps both family and friends safe.

Things they take for granted: Coffee. Beer. Time at times.

What inspires them: Seeing justice get served. 

What they have doubts about: being good enough.

What makes them feel alive: The thrill of the chase.

What makes them want to do better: Any case they do not solve / Criminal that doesn’t get a guilty charge.

What do they want to be remembered for? Being a good and loyal man.

How will the character change? He might become a husband or a father? Perhaps even Lieutenant or Captain of LAPD some day.

[commander-hanji-zoe]

“Fun” - Chapter 1

I am really excited to share this with you all! I came up with the idea some weeks ago and wrote a few paragraphs then forgot about it. I realised I wanted to write something that was void of angst/sadness and void (or mostly void) or smut/references to sex. Originally this was going to be a one shot but I decided to do it as 2 or 3 chapters as it was starting to get long.

Summary: Hange comes up with a plan to help the 104th cadets who signed up to the Scouts work better as a team. They realise they've seen a lot of horror already and been through more than most cadets have to live through at that age so want to reward them and give them an afternoon off. But this reward will have to be learnt through a ‘fun’ afternoon of team building and trust exercises. In this chapter Hange takes the idea to Erwin’s Office and is met by some resistance from Levi, obviously, who refers to anything that’s described as “fun” as “shit”.

Hange beamed as they took the final look at Swany and Bean for the day, true they weren’t exactly the best of friends or company, but Hange had become rather fond of them. 

As they stared at the two titans an idea started to form in their head and as Moblit knew oh too well, when a plan formed in Hange’s head it can be incredibly difficult for anyone to escape from it.

Hange had told Moblit the plan as they shuffled and sorted through their paperwork, as excitable as ever as they explained what they had in mind for the 104th Cadet Corps who’d chosen the Scout route. 

“Don’t you think they’d rather have some drinks and meat, you know a small celebration instead?” Moblit asked.

Hange huffed in response, “Don’t spoil the fun. That would be too easy and they wouldn’t learn anything and as you know,” Hange moved so they were inches from Moblit’s face, their eyes wide with wonder.

Moblit sighed, “Everyday is a school day.”

Hange took a step back and smiled, “And….”

“Knowledge is power.” As he spoke he had to smile, Hange was right and it wasn’t that it was a bad plan, he was just dreading how Captain Levi would react or some of the more feisty members of the scouts. A lot of them were hot-headed with short tempers but then he supposed this was precisely the point. Hange wanted to get them working as a team, something which so far they were accomplishing but ego was often getting in the way along with self interests. This was a chance for them to work as a team while having some fun and being away from Titan talk - as much as that pained Hange they reasoned it might be good for them too as well as the other vets to step back from a mission for an afternoon.

What Hange wouldn’t be telling the scouts was that once they’d completed the exercises there would of course be food and drink. They’d been arranging a picnic of sorts with the kitchen staff and now everything was in place. Well everything apart from the approval of the Commander.

Hange and Erwin were close, they got to know one another when training and soon became fast friends who knew they could always rely on the other to have their back. Erwin wasn’t the issue, Levi however could prove to be more problematic. Not that they didn’t get on, on the contrary Hange and Levi had a special friendship, one that was treasured and full of teasing the other and irritating one another as if in competition. Hange just wasn’t sure Levi would think this was a good plan, especially as it involved his squad as well. 

Initially Hange wanted it just to be the fresh recruits as well as the section leaders and Erwin if he wished to attend. But now Eren had been conscripted into the Levi squad, it seemed only sensible to include them.  

They’d protest Hange had no doubt and was sure that especially Oluo would have something to say about the notion being childish and would of course try to impress Levi immediately afterwards. Thinking for some reason that that kind of behaviour would impress the Captain, Hange knew far better than that but whenever they tried to give helpful advice to Oluo it always went ignored.

Hange knocked on the door to Erwin’s office, Moblit stood close behind, he wasn’t sure why he had to come along to this meeting, it was Hange’s idea and they were senior but still as much as he wouldn’t admit it, he liked that Hange wanted him around. Moblit loved to be useful and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for the section commander, although he never spoke the words aloud he did often wonder whether what he felt was something akin to love for them.

The knock was loud, melodic even, Hange knew that would make Levi tut and Erwin smile. In the olden days Hange would often go straight on into the office without knocking, their friendship was that close that there was nothing the other could see that would shock them. Naked showers had very much been a part of their training days, both Hange and Erwin would eye up Mike who, on opening one eye and seeing them staring would mutter, ‘Perverts’.

But things had changed since Erwin and Levi had become an item, their relationship was still very much a secret aside from a few of their closest friends and Hange would hate to barge in when they were ‘preoccupied’ with one another and potentially expose them to anyone else walking past.

Besides the older they got the more they both felt it was a good idea to implement some boundaries and Hange knew just how much Levi appreciated that. 

“Come in,” Erwin said, he didn’t need to ask who it was, he knew from the sound of the knock who it was. 

“Good afternoon Erwin & Levi, how are you both this fine afternoon?” Hange asked positively exuding happiness and energy.

Levi picked up his cup of tea by the rim, took a sip not breaking eye contact with Hanji and when he put it down he asked, “What do you want.”

Hange pouted and crossed their arms, “Can’t one of your best friends drop in for a chat and to see how you are?”

Erwin smiled, “Tea Hange?”

They nodded, Moblit was still very much stood behind them, “Moblit?” Erwin added.

Levi silently got up to make them both a tea, Hange thought it was sweet how he’d do anything for Erwin. They’d once made a joke one evening when they’d all been drinking together with Nanaba, Mike and Nile that Levi was like a well trained pet. That of course concluded in a fight ensuing with Levi slapping Hange and the two of them ending up rolling around, Hange was laughing, Levi was swearing and Mike was the one who had to get into the middle of them to break them up.

Hange took a seat and patted the empty chair next to them for Moblit to sit.

“So I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous shitty glasses,” Levi retorted.

Hange paid him no mind, though Moblit shot a warning glance.

“The latest recruits, they’ve really had it rough in comparison to what a lot of cadets have to go through, especially in the early stages. I mean they’d only just agreed to join the scouts when…” Hanji didn’t need to finish that sentence. “Several of them died before even making their choice and now with Eren. They’re brave for their age but they are still kids and I thought it might be nice to do something for them, a kind of reward.”

Levi returned with two cups of tea and Hange could see his mind working before he even spoke.

“Before you say anything Mr there is a point to this, it’s a reward of sorts but before that it will be about learning and how to work better as a team.” Hange looked across at Erwin, “I’m sure you’ll agree that we’ve had a few issues with the current cadets and hot-headedness. It’s so important they learn to work well as part of a team with one another and with us too.”

Erwin nodded in agreement, “I see what you’re saying, so what do you suggest?”

Hange beamed, “A team building afternoon with games and activities. If they all play nice they’ll be a picnic for them. As well as the latest cadets we’ll also attend along with Mike, Nanaba, Ness and Levi your squad.”

Hange felt Moblit shuffle next to them, as if feeling the insecurity Hange immediately wrapped their arms round Moblit and kissed his cheek, “And of course Moblit will be there, maybe Gelgar & and a few of the other senior scouts?” 

“Absolutely not,” Levi answered.

Erwin turned slightly to the side, he could sense how uncomfortable Levi was with the idea of forced fun. Admittedly Erwin too wasn’t the type to participate in such events but he had to admit Hange’s idea seemed like a good one and the 104th cadets really good do with learning how to work better together. He furrowed his brow as he thought and placed a hand on Levi’s knee, giving a small reassuring squeeze. Although Hange couldn’t see what he was doing they guessed as such because they saw Levi’s expression melt just a little.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Erwin said, though his expression barely changed as he spoke.

"Is this really something we're going to do?" Levi asked sounding half annoyed and half unamused in a sort of ‘I’ve given up why not let the hell show commence’ kind of fashion. 

"Yes," Hange replied enthusiastically. 

A moment of silence passed between them when Hange unexpectedly got up and went round the other side of the desk clapping their hands on either side of Levi’s body and gripping him. Hange peered round to face Levi who sighed and avoided eye contact. 

"It'll be fun!" She insisted. 

Levi rolled his eyes, "Nothing that is advertised as being fun ever lives up to the promise. You may as well advertise organised fun as It’ll be shit.”

Moblit tried not to laugh, he pursed his lips together stifling the noise that desperately wanted to come out.

"What is so funny?" Levi asked turning to face him.

"Nothing, sir," Moblit's expression immediately changing to one of a far more serious nature. Moblit of course agreed with Levi and was laughing because he thought what Levi said was pretty funny, Levi had obviously said it was no hint of humour as if stating a mundane fact like whether it’s raining or not. 

Hange let go of Levi, "I think it's a great idea," Erwin said and offered a supportive smile. 

Hange clapped their hands together again, this time a little louder and so close to Levi’s ear that he nearly jumped. This time Moblit resisted the laugh that had come out before.

“Excellent, are you happy to leave the preparation to me?”

Erwin nodded, he liked how even after all this time Hange would still ask permission. They really didn’t have to, but the respect Hange had for Erwin was admirable, though if Erwin was honest occasionally he missed the slightly more casual friendship they had. But it was Hange, things would always be a little intimate, silly and informal with them despite the few formalities they obliged, Erwin was grateful for this. 

“Wonderful, I’ll make sure everything is in place for tomorrow afternoon. Levi are you okay to round up your squad?”

Levi’s eyes bored into Hange, “You talk about them as if they were puppies or sheep.”

Hange shrugged and smiled, walking back to Moblit and placing a hand on his shoulder as a sign that it was time to leave. “You said it Levi not me,” Hange said as they waved goodbye and walked out of the office. 

“Hange will be the death of me,” Levi said as he tutted and drained his tea cup.

Erwin nuzzled into his neck once the door closed, “But you wouldn’t have it any other way would you?”

The silence that hung between them said everything. 

[spacebookettes]

Fairy on the Xmas Tree

Fairy did all the work, she watched the kids for naughtiness, she made most of the wooden toys, listened to the love life problems of the elves, she did all the lists organising, made sure the elf parties had enough glow sticks, and she organised all the xmas food in the North Pole; you must know, xmas food is all year around in the North Pole: except at xmas, but that’s another story. And who do you think remembers to leave out the super strength indigestion tablets for, you know who, on his return. Fairy organises all the elf rota’s. Fairy sets the spells that scare away the infestations of Axmas Trees. And when all the big build up is over and everyone has a holiday, who do you think clears up the New Christmas Years Eve celebrations. No actually that’s , you know who’s, wife.

The End

By Peter Stringer

Girl

“Girl, how are you feeling now... that third Band Cloud-Reeta should be making you feel better by now"... The Girl’s memory was still very hazy, flashes of childhood upset, embarrassing teen problems and moments of past depression. “Girl, you know it’s always the bad things that come back first.” “Anyways I’ll be with you for most of the first few years. So we’ll work out who you are.”

The Girl had been awake in the future a week and still was utterly disorientated. She had no idea who she was, where she was, what she was or what to do about it. The EMP had wiped out the database of the Cryogenics facility; something left over from the Cryo-terrorists.

“Girl you’ll be feeling like planesoulling soon.” The Girl asked what planesoulling was... “well it’s, the emotion you feel, when your micro spaceship glances off of a solar wind and your vessel is humming and also daydreeing... it’s a lot like, Guuurl, there’s nothing quite like the fear mixed with pure awe... You’ll find out one day. When the migration happens."

The future was pretty, all the surfaces were iridescent and the windows (if you could call them that) were faintly rainbowed..

“Girl, you are far away from Earth... all the cryo sleepers were moved a long time ago... the Cryo-terrorists.” The Girl asked what Earth was. “our home world, but we fled so quickly we are having trouble locating it again.” What’s a world.

The Girl asked why everyone was a different colour than her. “You can change everything in the future. No one has human coloured skin anymore... mine is Sillleevann, very popular.” The girl knew yellow when she saw it, though this particular shade was particularly flattering in it’s greyish sparkling. The Girl believed that a sparkling greyish yellow was a memory that was wholly new: sparkling grey hues she felt were impossible some how: but she kept that to herself.

The Girl asked what is a migration. “well, when we use up all of a stars energy and it’ll be close to going nova, we have to move on to another star. Which takes time and not everyone will fit on the transports so we have to sail our own micro spaceships.” The Girl didn’t understand any of these things.

“There are a lot of people in the future”

The nanobots inside the Girl's brain had constructed some extra features, expanding the Girl’s experience of reality. “Girl, you have to have these augmentations in the future or you’ll never understand anything properly.” A glowing word appeared in the distance just in the Girl’s peripheral vision. “that’s how it starts, the augmentation. Just out of reach so as not to startle you, then one day you’ll be fully up and running and be able to understand your surroundings better... Magical!”

Who were the Cryo-terrorists she asked. But there was an explosion before Gremmille D3 could answer. Gremmille moved behind the Girl, as if to protect itself from the direction of the explosion.

The facility was hidden in a envelope of space-time, inside a kind of hyper reality. Exhaustive of energy, that goes unnoticed until a waning star, energy source, gives things away. “I'm sorry about this Girl, but we are near the start of migration (always a dangerous time), don’t worry I’ll be with you while we make our escape. Priority for you has been made in one of the transports.”

The Girl learned about the great chase. The Cryo-terrorists were in pursuit and there space-time harpoons had caused an early migration. “Girl, the Cryo-terrorists believe you are a devil, any reanimated human is a danger. But our techniques are getting better. Every new batch of cryo sleepers we regenerate are better than the last ones.” “This is your little area, you can see enough of the real world now that you’ll be able to attain anything you need. Not that humans need much in the future. I'll have to take a micro-ship and we’ll meet at the next star.”

The transport hummed the Girl awake. Her little area was large enough to stand in to sleep and sit through the awake times. The nanobots took care of her waste, recycling it. And her nourishment, synthesizing any minerals or H2O she needed. They disposed of any skin grime as well. In fact all a human had to do was sit. On a transport.

The Girl searched the databases for an answer for why, if we are being pursued, why we are trying to find the home world. Surely we are being pursued away from Earth.

“Girl, a wish... one wish from the first cryo sleeper to be revived. To feel Earth grass inbetween her toes. It’s that simple... there's little else to do out here.” The Girl heard a different humming through the communicator; the micro ship had just planesoulled. "Guuurl, this is my grass in the feet.” Gremmille D3 said.

The End

By Peter Stringer

The Young Billionaire

En garde the billionaire called to herself in her imagination. “Shame i don’t like swords, but EN GARDE.”

The Bright City was celebrating Halloween, neon 300 meter pumpkins somewhere deep in the bowels of the city. Someone entered one of the egg shaped taxi pods. It, centrally controlled, floated into the stream of other taxi pods. Flowing through The Bright City on super fast sky highways. It would be a bit of a journey to the edge of the city. A city that was home to billions of people and robots. 30 miles high at it’s borders and much more miles wider.

The taxi pod reached a shaft of sunlight horizontally peaking into the city. And then pure sunlight, clouds, and trees for a far as an augmented human eye could see. Now the egg pod could really be super fast. Clouds blasted past the taxi. A small tower quickly came up to the pod, and it slowed. Coming to rest at ground level just next to the tower. A gothic tower with 4 giant clock faces, a gothic sprawling palace. Surrounded by trees; perfectly preserved in it’s ornate medieval features... next to a brown churning river. The someone exited the pod and sat barefoot on a small patch of grass. She looked up to a gothic window. A holographic ghost from history waved back at her from the other side of the window. The someone smiled. EN GARDE...

The Young Billionaires final project a glint in her eye would take some convincing.. but to preserve a still beautiful planet, leaving it to nature was one option. An option the Billionaire liked the most. All the people’s of earth contained in a gargantuan city. 30 miles high and topped with grass, fields and fields of grass and alpine flowers, many many miles wide. A complex of multi levelled superscrapers reflective so the light reaches down into the depths endlessly cascading off of super reflective surfaces; each superscraper a field of grass on top. But such a feat of engineering would be for others lifetimes... though the massive foundations must be fought for now. Political foundations must be started in a previous lifetime. Many glints in the eyes of the people with Vision, not yet augmented.

Imagine the garden parties.

The End

By Peter Stringer

Alien Food

 

The UK is the home of Alien Cuisine

The fact that Great Britain is the hub of alien activity, alien Food activity, tells you all you need to know about the state of cuisine in the rest of this half of the galaxy. Galactic visitors have been visiting small towns, villages and cities for a long time. They come for the Yorkshire puddings, the packet gravy and over cooked vegetables. You see Yorkshire Pudding is renowned across half a galaxy as the Food of the Gods and it’s worth stuffing yourself into a flesh bag skin disguise to walk among the humans to eat it in peace.

 Alien mothers come across time and space to learn how to make the best Yorkshire puddings from a little older lady, who lives on the moors of North Yorkshire in a little stone two up two down; a little older lady who started a small cooking class a few years back, that is now fully booked until the next 50 millenniums... scores of alien scientists are right now working on a youth elixir to make sure Granny Yorkshire keeps teaching her older ways of making oil roasted batter towers that always rise to the top of the oven and char a little where they touch. Granny Yorkshire also does a roaring trade in expertly mushy vegetables that she sells by the small, over salted, pot.

There is a factory, also in north Yorkshire, that makes the dehydrated gravy elixir (that also goes amazingly well on fries or should I say proper chips) That has recently taken an order for 12000 10kg boxes of the stuff; an order from one oddly named Zurghish Klavlong the 287th.

One intrepid alien once ventured over the sea to France to try their luck with, as the British Used to call it, Foreign Muck. They never returned on the channel tunnel train to France again, disgusted at the use of rich flavours, herbs, spices, cream and real butter!

By Peter Stringer

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