#i wish we saw more from this actor too! i couldn't find out anything about tianne gabrielle (it seems like this was one of her only major

[leonardcohenofficial]

"the yukon affair" (2x14) is a mixed bag of an episode—mildly interesting plot meets period typical racism/cultural insensitivity, which happens a lot on tmfu—but i love the character of murphy so much; she's shown to be super smart (she's a mcgill grad!) and self-reliant, she's super proud of her people, her character is given a fair amount of nuance in regard to how she talks about navigating both the western and indigenous worlds and the struggles therein ("it's not easy to be part one thing and part another. no one treats you as if you're real"), her chemistry with illya is spot on (their flirting featuring the line "i've always adored blonde men" is so fun), and it's cute to see her give him and napoleon a kunik at the end of the episode before she heads back to school to get her master's (back at mcgill!). of the innocents we see throughout the series (especially when episodes are otherwise mid to bad) i think she's one of the stronger ones overall!

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

The Bet

Part one

Eddie is desperate to talk to you but will you ever be able to forgive and forget after learning your friendship was nothing more than a bet? Especially as you had fallen in love with him.

Do you still love him after all that anguish?

Part two.

Warnings: A lot of angst and you'll see..minors shoo! 18+

Don't copy, translate or repost my work.

❤️

A bet. That's all you'd ever been to Eddie, a bet to get one over on your now ex boyfriend, on Jason and the rest of the dark side as Eddie's friend had put it.

Had they spent this whole time laughing at you? Did Eddie get some kick out of stringing you along, stealing your heart piece by piece.

Was everything just a lie?

You had broken up with Bryan a week ago. Sick of his horrible nature and drawn to Eddie, head over heels for him. God you felt like such a fool.

The night you found out about the bet you cried yourself to sleep, walking to school on autopilot. Thank goodness for your friends because you struggled to get through the first day.

Mostly everyone was sympathetic but there was some people who sniggered when you walked past, whispered to their friends only it was so loud that you could hear.

I can't believe how gullible that idiot was

Imagine knowing the freak only got close to you for a bet

Serves that bitch and all the rest of Jason's idiots and the cheerleaders right for thinking they are so hot.

About time someone took them down a peg

Each thinly veiled barb cracked your already bleeding heart and you hurried to get away from the gossip.

It trickled out a couple days later, once the people had finished finding your pain hilarious, how anyone could find someone in pain to be funny was a mystery to you.

Whenever you saw Eddie you rushed away before he could speak to you, wouldn't look at his face because all you knew from him was lies.

Everything was a lie. He didn't love you, he never did. Your heart throbs with that realisation and you do your best to walk around school, head held up high and the heartbreak tucked up inside.

It was all an act but you were a great actor, you had to be to pretend like you weren't in agony on the inside.

...

It was the worst few weeks that Eddie could remember in a long long time, Dustin was disgusted with him and took a long time to talk to him.

His heart felt like it had been ripped in half and it was all his own fault, you wouldn't even look at him.

If he even attempted to try and speak to you it was to no avail.

The longest sentence you uttered was when he begged you to talk to him, even just one word.

All you said was ''goodbye Eddie" or that ''you didn't believe a word he said"

Steve picked you up from school with Robin every day, wouldn't even let Eddie go near you. Threatened to beat the shit out of him if he made you cry again.

He tried to speak to you again a few days later when Steve had eased up on guarding you, it was agonising weeks of you avoiding him.

You were coming out of cheer practice with Chrissy and another girl, Chrissy glared at him and the other girl looked like she wanted to kill him.

"Can we talk please, princess?'' he pleads and you ask your friends to give you a second and they do, very reluctantly still scowling at Eddie. He deserves that.

"I can't Eddie. I don't have anything to say to you" he swallows, his mind going a mile a minute, trying to think of what he can say to express how sorry he is.

''I messed up. I made a stupid mistake. The worst mistake, because I hurt you. I made a dumb bet to try and get back at assholes who bullied and made my friends and my life hell, it was mean and selfish and I wish I'd never done it" you listen to what he has to say and his heart aches when tears pool in your eyes.

"But you did do it, you couldn't even tell me the truth. You lied to me Eddie and all the time I was...I fell in love with you" he moves forward to cup your cheek, desperate for you to know that he loves you too.

"I love you, I fell in love with you and that's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't lose you" you stare at him and don't speak for a few seconds, when you do the words split his heart in two.

"That's the thing, you lost me anyway" you walk away from him and he can't think of a single thing to say to stop you. Then he steels himself and runs to catch up with you.

"What Eddie?" you snap and he talks quickly, tripping over his words and anxious to get the words out.

"I hurt you badly, I fucked up and what I did was just fucking awful. I know that. I also know that I'm so in love with you, never thought I could feel this way for anyone but you snuck into my heart and it belongs only to you" you don't say anything but you don't rush away either, so Eddie says one more thing before you do decide to leave.

"I'll wait for you sweetheart, for however long it takes. I don't care how long I have to wait, you're worth every single second"

Tears pool in your eyes and you nod slightly. Ever so gently you squeeze his hand just a tiny bit then walk away, leaving Eddie determined as hell to win your trust again and maybe somewhere along the line your heart too.

💕

It took a while for you to even speak to Eddie for longer than five minutes, but he was nothing if not determined and patient, he's was not screwing this chance up.

At first, you didn't think Eddie was serious about waiting for you, but he was. Endlessly patient and sweet. Big brown eyes full of tenderness and joy when you spoke to him.

It was hard not to find him endearing, but he had hurt you badly and there was still a small part of you that held back, that was hesitant to get close, trying to protect your fragile heart that ached for you to give Eddie a chance.

It's Friday now and after an intense week of cheer practice, you can't wait to relax for the weekend.

Chrissy had been watching you looking at Eddie with longing, the exact same way Eddie looked at you for weeks now. To be honest it was beyond frustrating, the both of you loved one another, it was killing you both to be apart.

So that's why she was saying something to you today. More than anything she wanted you to be happy, if Eddie hurt you again just even a tiny bit then she would kick his ass.

That's before Steve go there first.

"Honey, what Eddie did was wrong and I'm mad as hell at him but anyone can see how sorry he is. He's so in love with you, maybe you could give him a second chance" Chrissy says to you as you sit down for lunch.

You rest your head on Chrissy's shoulder and let out a sigh. ''I want to, I want to so badly but I don't want to be heartbroken again''

Something tells Chrissy that Eddie wouldn't dare. That he would keep his promise to never hurt you so badly again.

She squeezes your hand reassuringly and it calms your anxiety down.

"Babe, he wouldn't dare. He's not stupid. Plus everyone might think I'm a sweetheart but I'll kick his ass if he did and Steve would too. Eddie won't lose you, not again"

The words play on your mind all day and when Eddie is hurrying to his truck at the end of Hellfire Club you pluck up your courage and go to speak to him.

"Eddie" the minute he sees you it's like his whole face lights up. A dimpled smile and brown eyes full of adoration greet you.

"Hey, sweetheart" longing fills the air, stifling you both and honestly you're pretty sick of it. So you take a leap, walk up to Eddie and take his hand.

"Would you mind if I asked you for a ride Eds?'' his hand tightens around yours and he grins, rushes to open the door to his truck and almost trips over his feet in the process. It's cute and you can't help but giggle.

He holds the door open for you. "Princess, your carriage awaits" you head inside.

The drive is short and sweet, Eddie once again being a gentleman as he opens the door for you to step out.

You thank him for the ride and before Eddie can head back into the truck, you kiss his cheek gently, then leave a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips.

The kiss leaves him looking dazed, he touches his cheek then his lips and there's that smile again, the one that melted your heart the first time you seen it.

"One more chance Eddie, if you hurt me again thats it. I mean it" he nods, his face serious as he takes in what you say.

"I swear you won't regret this princess, I love you and I'll spend every day proving that, do you... do you still love me?" he whimpers after a few seconds, his expression wide with worry and fear.

"I've never stopped" you answer back.

After your confession he practically does a little dance as he goes into his truck. Just before you open the door to your house, you hear his whoop of delight before he drives off.

The smile doesn't leave your face all night.

❤️

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Kinou Nani tabeta. aka My Heart is Full aka I suck at titles

Let me just say before anything else. This is not a recap or a review. This is me feeling the need to write down my feelings because they are pouring out of me. This is more a personal note than anything else so skip it if that's not your thing.

I always watch this show on saturday mornings, with my coffee and breakfast, because it gives me a boost for the weekend. And I wanted to postpone the final episode as much as possible but I just couldn't. I gave in.

Second FYI. This will probably be incoherent and a mess because that's how I feel. Also, this fucking menopause (surgical, don't give me too many extra years) is really making a mess of my emotional state this week, so I'm all over the place. Also I might've had some wine. Also this may be a bit long. I think that's it.

How I got here

So, I've loved cinema since I was like 7. (yeah I'm going really back in time) Because my mom like films, she dragged to the cinema even when I was way too young for whatever was on. [ Fun Side note- The first film that I saw in the cinema was Bram Stoker's Dracula, when I was like 6, and my mum got into an argument with the cinema employee because" I am her mother, and I'll decide what she can or can't watch"and so I did watch it.]

So I always loved watching films, talking about them and eventually went to uni to learn how to make them. During that time, I went through a phase (which happened to a couple other people in my school) where I kinda got emotionally detached from the stories. I could only see the camera angles, the lighting, the editing, etc.

When I was done with uni, and had decided that editing was my favourite thing I started doing a bit of work in editing, mostly online stuff and a couple of ads in London, and 3 years later I was done. Obviously there were life factors and health factors that contributed to this, but still I left it all behind.

Then, I quickly went back to being able to watch stories with all the emotions.

Let's skip forward to present day.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? feel in my lap by way of my very first BL. Seven Days. I watched those films and went through all the emotions and needed more. More of that serotonin please.

So I got in research mode and that's when I found this wonderful world of BL and eventually this show.

Now, a little bit more about me, just in case you aren't sick of me talking about myself. I'm not a jolly person. If you asked anyone that knows me irl, they would describe me as someone who always thinks the sky is falling. However, I also love a lot of things deeply, and when it comes to things that I can't find a word big enough for it I call it magic. So I'll use it here.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? is magic.

If this show was a meal then the absolutely right ingredients were found, they were put in the hands of the best cooks and everything was prepared with love and care. This show that I love, was put together by people who love it, and couldn't not make it. This is what I believe. It's my kind of faith.

I've seen so many shows, I've loved so many of them, a lot of them touched me deeply. But only a few touched me this way.

When there is love in something, real care and empathy in the making of something, you can feel it, I believe. And I feel it so much watching this show. I get emotional just writing this.

I wish I could thank every single person that made this show possible. And we could argue all day about the quality of a show, its actors, writers or directors. I could argue why my favourite show is better than your favourite show, and why your show is more important than my show, and why that show failed and another succeeded. I will not argue about the importance of this show and my faith is unshakable.

Maybe because I love food so much and in my life my love filled moments were always around food, I connected at first with Kenji, because his reactions to food resemble mine. But this season Shiro stole my heart and soul. His quiet but profound way of loving Kenji made cry more than any sad scene ever could. And onions and chicken thighs will forever have deeper meaning in my kitchen. These two characters are so well written and so well acted, the words are so layered and so meaningful, that it's a miracle to me that it exists and that I got to watch it.

I'm sure other people will write much better posts about this show, and will probably be better (at a hell of a lot more on point) at writing about all the amazing things that this show has done. But I'm an emotional wreck and I could only write from a personal place today.

I'll be rewatching this show in it's entirety soon, because the evolution of these characters, Shiro specially, was such a joy to witness.

If you read this far, thank you. 💜

[itspdameronthings]

in Loving memory

Summary: here is my entry to@triplefrontier-anniversary celebration. This is a really sad one. sorry about that. this is a tribute for one of our own ,@aellynera who is now with the angels. She was one of a kind . Hope she loves this. she loved Oscar. Most of us knew she loved Triple frontier ,and anything with oscar. ha ha!

the fic deals with him mourning his love.

Wish people would stop asking how I am doing. Want to be alone! Let me fucking be! Let me grieve in my own way! Others never lose the love of their life like me. My Alleycat. One of a kind. Talented writer . Yeah. She loved to write short stories. Did that to take her mind off her illness. I found out about it four years ago when she would get sick a lot. Doctors ran test after test. Until … she was in a coma! Scared me half to death. Prayed for more time with her. Wishing Columbia never happened. Took me away from her! God! Why ! Why you called her home so fucking soon! Took my dad ( Which I didn't have to say goodbye to!) Took me years to get past the hurt. Feel so alone! What now!? 

Haven't left our room since the funeral. That was the hardest thing to do. Say bye to my heart. Others are part of me. My Ying to my Yang. Treasure the moments we shared last year from going to a Broadway show in New York that stars her favorite actor. Okay, I saw why she likes him. Told me he looks like me. Smile at the memory. Oh Ally girl, wished we had more time together. Make even more memories. I’ll treasure them always. No matter what. I'll never find anyone like you darling. Promise you that. 

I'm watching Revenge of Jolly right now. Try to laugh. Haven't been able to do that. I remember coming home from a horrible day. She  was watching it. Okay.. kind of corny. 

I watched it,and oh shit! Was so corny.

After the movie.  I play some of her music. Oh how she loved the 70’s and 80’s. Her taste was all over the place! Like Dan Reed network. Played it a lot. Some country. Oh how she loved when I sing. Even with Benny. Speaking of him. Oh how he misses her. Like his big sister. Always teaming up to tease the shit out of me. Will and Frankie too loved her as well. 

Her family gave me space that I needed. Mention if I need anything to let them know. That's sweet. Even Benny's girl, Paige comes by with food ,and tries to clean the house. Which looks like inside my head. She is grieving like me. Both of them were close. Like the same things. Same kind of sass. Which is comforting. On this day Paige brought me a note Ally wrote before she passed. Said for me to read it. Cant! Cant fucking do it! What can she possibly tell me that I already know! Paige told me it would help the healing process. Putting it on my nightstand for the time being.

Few days later Will texted me to come over for a surprise get together at his place. Others will be there. Too soon! Not ready to go out! Oh got a text from Paige: 

Paige: Look, I know what you are going through. Been in your position when my dad passed away. Couldn't function. Took me awhile to realize that my dad didn't want me to wallow.

Santi: wallow? Think I'm wallowing? 

Paige: a little. Have to get out at some point okay? Ally wouldn't want you to be sad forever. Have a lot of people in your corner. Besides, I need you at the gathering. So does Benny. 

Santi: Oh.. the gathering has to do wop,ith you two?

Paige : maybe. 

Maybe she said. Just like Ally . So secretive. Guess I have to bite the bullet,and read the letter. Sitting in my worn out, black leather chair. Starting to read: 

My Santi baby( hot sauce) ,

Wrote this before my condition got so bad that I couldn't communicate anymore. Wanna tell you I love you soo much. Have been the love of my life for a long time, baby. Sorry for worrying you so much about my illness. Always there when I told you about it. So grateful for that. 

Have a request for you. Live life to the fullest,but first thing first. 

Get your knees checked out! Don't let it go too long! Hate to see you in pain. Do it for me. Secondly, it's okay to love someone new. Want you to be happy. It's okay to love someone else. Thirdly, let the others take care of you. I mean it! Have been a leader far too long. Let them take some of the slack okay? 

Last thing my love I treasure all of the time we shared in our short time together. Never in my wildest dreams we found each other. Be strong . 

Hold the note close to my heart. Tears fell again. Thinking about what I have to do. First thing. Time to get cleaned up. Meaning shaving my scruffy face. 

Took a breath as I knocked on ironhead’s door. Benny opened the door. Hugging me so tight I couldn't breath. Others hugged me. Even Paige. Asked me if I was okay. Squeezed her tiny hands and told her I read the letter .  Told her I'll do what she says. 

Benny made his special announcement. Him and Paige are getting married. So happy for them . Hope both of them have a wonderful life together. Looking up at the evening sky knowing she is in heaven watching. Guiding not just me,but all of the people she cares about. 

[softquietsteadylove]

I enjoyed the thenamesh actor au pretty much! Would you write some cute fluff how Thena and Sprite are visiting Gil, spending a nice and fun evening with cooking and then watching a movie and Gil ( he has taken his medication after dinner) falls asleep on Thenas shoulder? Sprite noticing the beautiful chemistry between them?<3

"Hey."

"Hey," Gil smiled as a wisp of blond drifted into his view as he loaded the dishwasher (slowly).

"Thanks for dinner," Thena repeated from several times earlier already, bringing over hers and Sprite's plates from the table. "It really was incredible, Gil."

"Aw," he blushed. "It's the least I could do; you've been such a help since the whole arm thing."

Thena's eyes drifted down to his broken arm in his sling, as it did often. "I wish I could do more."

"Trust me, Thena," Gil closed up the dishwasher and patted her shoulder ever so gently, "it's plenty."

She smiled up at him. The soft lighting of the kitchen really brought out his handsomeness.

"Go sit down with Sprite," he nudged her with a grin, "make sure she doesn't pick something with me in it--I can't bear watching myself with people."

"I know the feeling," Thena laughed, drifting off into the living room as Gil reached for the painkillers he'd been prescribed.

Sprite barely looked away from her scrolling as Thena sat down on Gil's large sectional couch. "You two done flirting?"

"Sprite!" Thena hissed at her sister.

"I had to sit through you two making eyes at each other all through dinner," Sprite pointed out liberally, despite the murderous look on her sister's face. "Not bringing it up until now is a testament to my restraint."

"I mean it," Thena pointed her finger in her sister's face. "You are making him uncomfortable and he is our host, who has been nothing but very sweet with you, may I add."

"You may, but that only makes you like him more," Sprite pointed out. As much as she wasn't really into the idea of hearing about her sister's obvious crush on her co-star, part of her couldn't help its curiosity.

Unfortunately, Thena was so in denial about her feelings for him that she was underwater.

"Don't pick anything with Gil in it, says he can't stand watching himself," Thena murmured, eyes drifting down to her lap as Sprite scrolled through the options on the tv.

Sprite just nodded. Thena had the same problem, although Sprite never had any real desire to watch stuff with her in it. She really did think Thena was a great actress, but it was still just her sister--she saw her everyday.

"Okay," Gil mumbled as he sat himself on the couch with him. "What'd we find?"

"Still looking," Thena sighed, loudly enough for Sprite to know it was expressed just for her.

"Okay, okay," the teenager grumbled back, settling on a thriller. "Oh, this is Sersi's new thing!"

Thena smiled at Gil on the other side of her, "Sersi is our cousin."

"I heard about this movie," Gil nodded as the opening logos began. "Apparently there was a lot of drama onset."

"Unfortunately, although Sersi managed to escape a good deal of it," Thena sighed, unfolding her crossed legs and relaxing her stiff posture. "It doesn't surprise me, with Eros in its cast."

"Have you worked with him before?" Gil asked more quietly as the movie began.

"Once or twice," Thena whispered in reply, even shifting to angle herself more in Gil's direction. "He's...interesting."

Gil raised a brow at the diplomatic choice of words. "What am I--the press?"

Thena let out a little giggle, still trying to keep quiet for Sprite's sake of watching undisturbed.

Sprite wasn't paying attention anyway. She only really cared to watch Sersi's parts. And besides that, the little display happening on the couch right next to her was way too distracting to be ignored.

"I've read stuff about him," Gil whispered, leaning his head down closer to Thena. "He's pretty vocal about having a thing for you."

Thena rolled her eyes, missing the visible amusement - and maybe something else - on Gilgamesh's face as she did. "I think part of his image is being a bit of a stud. But he's closer to Sprite's age than ours."

Sprite rolled her eyes too. That was a bit of an exaggeration, not that she thought much of the slightly pompous actor from the once or twice she'd met him.

"I don't see how that'd stop him," Gil shrugged, his words running together slightly as his eyes drooped. "If you're beautiful, you're beautiful--and you are."

Sprite resisted the urge to call her sister out on her visible fluster.

"He's said so," Gil mumbled out, although it ran right into his yawning. "Said he wishes he could have the opportunity to work with the beautiful 'Goddess' herself."

Thena blinked as Gil leaned - slumped - even closer.

"I think even that's an understatement," Gil practically slurred. His back slid further and further down on the couch until his head collided with Thena's shoulder.

"Gil?" Thena blinked, whispering to him but not daring to turn her head to actually look at him.

Gil just adjusted his position, nuzzling even closer into her.

"Thena, please, I'm right here."

"Sprite!" Thena hissed at her again.

"Sh, Thena," Sprite laughed as she leaned back on the luxurious couch and pointed at the tv, "trying to watch."

Damned menace of a sister. Thena rolled her eyes, not moving a muscle as Gil fell into an even deeper sleep with her for a support. It was a good thing that he was also up against the back of the couch. Although his heaviness wasn't quite too much--it was almost kind of nice. He was solid, but not sharp edged, and he was bulky, but there was some softness to it that was nice too.

Thena smiled to herself as Sprite lowered the volume to barely audible, even turning on the subtitles. For all her surliness and general teenaged attitude, Sprite still had a warm heart under all of it. "Thanks, Sprite."

"Sh," Sprite smiled back at her, "watching."

[percy-sawyer]

So I was rewatching the spiderman raimi trilogy then the webb spiderman film series and for some reason, I was so fixated the relationship between Harry and Peter. I love their relationship in the raimi-verse than in the webb-verse to be honest. The actor for Harry in the webb-verse did a good job portraying Harry but I wished Harry and Peter's friendship was more explored in the film.

We all know that in raimi-verse, Harry dies which is sad because he sacrificed himself to save his best friend.

Then we all know that Gwen dies in the amazing spiderman 2 and I absolutely love that scene, I love the way she is falling with the clock spinning out of control and then Peter shooting a web, trying to reach her but unfortunately it was too late.

Me not being a comic book fan or knowing the comic, I was in for a treat when she died. It was absolutely heartbreaking and a bit traumatizing when I saw the movie for the first time. Ever since then, I have been obsessed with that scene, it's beautifully shot and Emma Stone performance is just perfect as always but at that moment, it was just *chef kiss*

Now lately, I have been reading Parksborn fanfiction and I was exploring through a03 and I found a short fanfic about raimi-verse Harry dying after the first fight in sm3. In the fic, Harry died. How?? Because he fell from a long height and he snapped his neck.

That took me right back to Gwen Stacy's death.

So I have been searching for another fanfic of Harry dying like Gwen but I couldn't find one.

So basically, I am going to write it myself. I was thinking of using raimi-verse. Why am I doing this? Because I love angst. I wanted to do the MSM verse but I don't know anything about it and with the webb-verse, it got a bit complicated for me.

So short answer, I am making Harry die like Gwen Stacy in TASM 2 and making Peter suffer more (I am so sorry)

It could be romantic parksborn or platonic parksborn, I haven't decided yet.

Not going to lie, I got a bit sad when I imagined Raimi-verse Harry, MSM Harry and Webb-verse Harry instead of Gwen in the gif

[norahastuff]

the unrequited love thing just bothers me so much. No-one had any issues seeing Cas/Hannah as a valid ship in the show when Cas wasn't even really interested in her. We've had a decade worth of romantic signals from Dean, but somehow destiel is unrequited. such a goddamn tragedy that they couldn't find their way back to each other one last time when that is their whole ~dynamic~

Yes, all of this. Exactly. Honestly, it’s been so frustrating to keep hearing the word unrequited thrown around so much lately. What about this dynamic has ever seemed unrequited? I’ve done this before but I’ve been really annoyed about it lately so should we make a list?

What about Dean feeling so personally betrayed by Cas in The Man Who Would Be King? Or Sam and Bobby walking on eggshells around Dean and taking care to very delicately approach bringing up the possibility of Cas doing something shady because they knew how hard Dean was going to take it? They knew it would be different for him than it would be for both of them.

Or how about Dean keeping Cas’ trenchcoat, and not only keeping it - he could have stashed it at Bobby’s or left it in the trunk of the Impala - but no he kept it with him, moved it from car to car. And this isn’t a last-minute development that they decided to throw into 7x17 when Cas returned, we see glimpses of the coat in other episodes before this, a consistent reminder that Dean’s carrying it around with him. That losing Cas is weighing on him.

How about Dean wondering why he could usually get over things but for some reason with Cas he couldn’t and he just didn’t know why. 

For that matter...do you think there is anybody else that Dean would forgive for hurting Sam? For betraying him? Sure Dean is mad at Cas but more than anything he wanted to fix things. Despite everything, he needed Cas to be a part of his life. 

How about that time Dean spent a year in purgatory looking for Cas, praying to him every night? In Dean’s mind, Sam is out there alone doing God knows what trying to get him back. I mean Sam didn’t, he’d let Dean go, but Dean assumed he was still looking. And yet Dean didn’t go back to Sam even though he could. He stayed for a year looking for Cas. Because he needed to. He needed him. Purgatory was pure remember? Dean had clarity there. He understood his wants, needs, and emotions.

Or you know just that one little thing about how Dean changed his own memories of what happened when he got separated from Cas because the thought of failing Cas was less painful than the idea that Cas would choose to stay in purgatory instead of leaving with him.

“We need you. I need you.” You know all about this one, I don’t need to say more.

The angels knowing exactly what would hurt Dean, knowing how much he cared about Cas and using that against him: 

“The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!” 

“I know you’re hoping Castiel will return to you. I only wish that he felt the same way.”

Miriam: Bieber in there he can do almost anything. Dean: Anything? (and for the first time since Cas died we see Dean experience a moment of hope...and then...) Miriam: Oh sweetie, almost anything. Castiel he’s dead, all the way dead, because of you.

Dean staring wistfully at Cas through a Gas n Sip window for god knows how long. Actually you know what, that whole episode. 

Cas being Dean’s Colette. That’s not subtext. You can argue with the execution, but the parallel was spelled out. And actually for that matter in Chuck’s drafts or alternate futures/ timelines or whatever that he was showing Sam, Dean was the one who was broken after losing Cas to the Mark of Cain, Dean was the one who had to bury him in Ma’lak box. Dean was the one who had to stop him. So I mean not only was Cas Dean’s Colette, but Dean was Cas’ Colette too.

Dean reacting very differently than Sam to Cas’ decision to say yes to Lucifer. Dean’s worry. Dean desperately calling out to Cas over and over again to try reach him and get him to eject Lucifer. Dean resisting Amara for Cas. Lucifer and Amara being very surprised by this. Amara using Cas to try to get to Dean. 

Dean’s very different reactions to all things Cas in s12. This one would need it’s own post, but let’s just say there was a lot of focus on Dean and Cas in s12 and most of it was on how intensely Dean felt for Cas. 

Dean made him a Led Zeppelin mixtape. And then proceeded to get mad at himself for letting Cas use it to come into his room and play him. Which isn’t exactly what happened (though it sort of is) but that’s exactly what went down from Dean’s perspective, and that kind of move would only work if Dean truly cared about Cas. Going into someone’s room and playing on their feelings for you by using a romantic gift they gave you, only works if that person has feelings for you that can be played with.

12x23. Sam having to pull Dean away from Cas at the rift because Dean was intent on chasing after Cas. Dean falling to his knees by Cas’ body unable and unwilling to think about anything else and leaving Sam to face the nephilim. Sam knowing better than to even try to move Dean.

Widower arc. I would elaborate but do I need to?

And finally all of their arc in s15. No part of that was one sided. 

I actually can’t believe we have to keep having this conversation. Before it seemed like we kept having to somehow “prove” there was a romantic element to Dean and Cas’ relationship. Now that they have explicitly stated in canon that there is, the conversation seems to have shifted to how it’s one sided. Look I’m as frustrated as anyone that Dean didn’t get to say anything, but we never considered their relationship one sided before. That’s certainly not what I saw in the show.  Dude pines after his totes str8 bro friend who’s not into him is not a story I would have had any interest in. Looking at that long list above does it seem like it was one sided?

Whatever Cas felt for Dean, Dean felt it too. This has never seemed like a one sided narrative. Like you said just because the last page of the story was ripped out/wasn’t written (ie whatever you think went down) it doesn’t invalidate years upon years of consistent relationship building and emotional growth. Their story is incomplete not erased.

(And in relation to the Cas and Hannah of it all, a while back I did get curious and look that up, and you’re right. People had no problem with thinking of Cas and Hannah as romantic - when she was played by Erica Carroll. When Hannah returned in a male vessel, both Misha and the new actor Lee Majdoub played their relationship exactly the same way, the same heart eyes, the same gentle touches and soft spoken appreciation, but no one seemed to want to discuss Cas and Hannah’s romantic connection anymore. For reasons. Whatever could they be? I’m putting this in brackets though because I don’t have the sources on that and I have no intention of trawling through reddit/entertainment review sites/wherever I checked last time to find them. I do not have that in me. So there’s a chance I could be mistaken and people did discuss it, in which case I’d love to be proven wrong. Anyway that’s why this point is just at the end in brackets)

[patchworklove]

thoughts on mayans pt.1

(s4 mostly) under the cut bc it's a lot and yet i'm still gonna have to make a part 2 lmao

angel's character has gone downhill so badly that he's basically a new character at this point. he doesn't really respect or have and love for anybody. how long was he friends with coco and then he just fucked his daughter on the sofa when she was grieving? he cares so much about being a family man but couldn't call felipe back or see what was happening? nails was fairly far along right, so she could have been in labor (very early) but he just didn't give a shit? it's not the same guy from s1/s2 at all, and i know adelita's baby was supposed to be part of that change but you'd think he would actually give a fuck about this baby too

i wish adelita was less boring. she was so strong, and i enjoyed her sort of getting back to being the rebel leader in s3 but now she can throw everything away for her son? the same one she knew she wouldn't raise when she let herself be the one arrested. she had children dying for the rebels, and was running around pregnant and armed/with armed escorts. she wasn't some saintly maternal figure, and it doesn't suit her now. and i'm all for women not being one dimensional and changing their minds. but it felt more important that she was a woman who was willing to throw her maternal side away to do what was needed to protect others. to protect the version of her that saw her family die and prevent that from repeating for someone else?

i thought maybe i didn't care as much for ez/gaby last season as other ppl bc she was kinda naive to the club but no - i think jd just doesn't have a lot of chemistry with the female costars. ez and sophia are kind of bland. there's more emotion looking at sally, and as much as i'm over it, the phone call from emily. good for gaby for going to lodi.

felipe and gaby's relationship was cute, and i'm glad we got to see him care for nails. i like to think he would have done it for her anyway, but to do it knowing his son wasn't worth the j*zz he was shooting??? felipe is the only valid reyes. and ejo got it that scene at the end of 4x06. he knew felipe would care about losing his grandbaby but wouldn't want nails to see that. i hope he knocks angel into next month when he sees him.

bishop's sex scene - also bland. his character arc is worse than angel's. he's lost his club, but how is he far more pissed about that than finding out the truth regarding riz from taza? skewed priorities.

i don't trust manny. he's too eager to do things with ez/for the club. patch into sp or fuck off back to yuma? padrino would probably let you. also how fucking lazy to just have the same character name as the actor. i feel like they're using this character as a filler for coco in the way that he was s1/2 with the reyes brothers.

gilly gave a shit about coco. and it sucks that he was the only one to. i mean creeper tried and coco wasn't accepting of it, but i am the tiniest bit curious to see if they have anything about gilly handling his grief. especially since they're angling for coco's death to be opie 2.0 (it is not even close and they know it)

the sudden backstories for gilly and creeper feel too little too late. we knew basic info about sons characters (regulars) way earlier. like chibs had a wife and family before the club. tig was in the marines and had beef with kozik. bobby was married and had to pay child support, and moonlighted as an elvis impersonator. happy's mom was sick. juice was puerto rican but spoke no spanish. kip lost his nut serving. like - why has it taken this long for creeper and gilly to have backstories if they're supposed to be important to the show's narrative?

ditto hank on that one. like, just his mom. and then that he tattoos? his closure scene with steve's family was poor. sure it showed that steve's death was impacting him, but he didn't give enough of a shit to check on him. and i hate comparing the two shows so much but shit: juice was supported by chibs after miles and the russians. hank didn't seem like he did that or that he was a great sponsor either.

part 2 here

[supernaturalnovelsandmore]

Supernatural Novel: The Unholy Cause

Welcome to my review of the fifth Supernatural novel, The Unholy Cause

Author: Joe Schreiber

Timeline: Set after Episode 5.08 Changing Channels but before Episode 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

Location: Mission's Ridge, Georgia

Synopsis: As the pressure mounts for the upcoming apocalypse, Sam and Dean head to the historic town of Mission's Ridge, GA, where the Civil War is less about the past and more about the present. With interference from Castiel, demons, and Judas Iscariot himself, how can Sam and Dean prevent a major catastrophe from befalling this small town?

Review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Warning: Spoilers abound!

After the last book, I was really hoping to see an improvement in this one, and boy did I! I've finally hit the Supernatural tie-in novel I was hoping to read from the beginning! It read like an actual episode, I could hear the actors speaking through the character's words, and I really couldn't find anything that contradicted canon.

In addition, the actual storyline was compelling and the side characters interesting. With the other novels I've reviewed, it's taken me most of the day to read them because I kept getting distracted. This one, I read straight through without stopping. I love reading a book like that!

Side note: This novel does dive in to Christian theology and the story of Judas Iscariot (who betrayed Jesus). If you are uncomfortable delving into that portion of Christianity, you may not want to read the book or this review (though my review notes about that will be minimal).

Now, since I don't have any canon vs. non-canon comparisons to make, today's review is simply going to be a list of my favorite scenes and how certain scenes relate to what's going on during this period in Season 5.

Cameo!

Sam and Dean are informed of the case by one Rufus Turner! He's only in it for a brief bit, but he's still funny as heck asking the police to pay his dry-cleaning bill.

We get a nice character introduction of enigmatic (clueless) Castiel who's trying to heal Civil War reenactors who are understandably frightened of him. He's still searching for God at this point, but we also get this nice character beat for him:

"I walked the battlefields of the South a hundred and sixty years ago," Castiel replied, a faraway look entering his eyes. "I moved among the men and brought their souls to glory. And now..." Something moved over his face for just an instant, so rare and brief that Dean almost didn't catch it; a flicker of hope. "And now," he repeated, "I'm healing again."

Of course, Dean has to explain that none of the reenactors actually need healing and he goes back to being determined to find a 'First-order witness' - someone who broke bread with Jesus Christ.

I found this part surprising within the book, but as I thought about it, it made more sense. The TV series has to tread a very careful line with Christianity so as not to offend a bunch of viewers, but the books have a much smaller audience and can take these liberties. Personally, I was fine with it. They didn't go too deep and stuck with the witness being Judas (who doesn't exactly have a great reputation to begin with).

There's a fantastic brotherly moment where Sam shares the sheriff's name (Jack Daniels) and they then go back and forth trying to guess what this Jack person is like i.e., fat vs. skinny, bald vs. hairy...

Dean: "Nam vet. Buford Pussar type. From Walking Tall." Sam: "Deliverance refugee. Civil citations all over his desk."

One of things I love about this book is the brother's relationship. This banter and other character beats really feel authentic as opposed to the prior novels. (I won't spoil what the sheriff is actually like - needless to say, they play a major role in the book.)

Just a few pages later from this great banter, we're back to the drama as Sam and Dean argue about a nightmare Sam had that he can't remember, but which could be relevant to the case.

"What's this about Dean?" Sam demanded, "Is it about you not trusting me? Because if it is, there's not a whole lot of places we can go from there." "Yeah, you're my brother," Dean said. "But you're also Lucifer's prom dress, and if he's seeding your dreams with hints about the master plan, then maybe it might be a good idea for you to look at 'em as close as possible. That's all I'm saying."

And of course, Dean gets concerned about Sam as they split up to cover more ground. It's music to my ears! There are a number of other conversations like this that really emphasize the strained relationship Sam and Dean display in Season 5.

Another surprising character beat is the influence of Lucifer on Sam because as he's doing research at the local historical society, Sam (and the historian) are surprised to find out he can read Coptic, an ancient Egyptian language. It startles Sam and once again emphasizes how different he is.

At a particularly gruesome crime scene (a mass grave), there's a brief moment with Dean that really shines as he looks down on the skeletons in the mass grave and finds a similarity to what he did in Hell:

Because that was what he did after spending years down there, doing what he'd done... Through sheer force of will, Dean shoved those notions aside...Now more than ever he didn't want that experience contaminating the way he looked at the world... not that he had a choice. Hell had been his Vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial or self-imposed ignorance was going to change that.

There's an additional moment of traumatized Dean that I wish they could have shown in the tv series:

Sam: "Are those bloodhounds?" Dean didn't answer... When Sam finally caught a look at his brother's face, he saw that Dean's cheeks and forehead had gone absolutely white, as if every drop of blood had been sucked away... "They're not hellhounds, Dean, they're just dogs..." Dean didn't answer. He was still listening to the barking and howling noises coming closer, crashing through the undergrowth. He seemed paralyzed by the sounds.

There are more to these Dean passages, (too much to copy), but I really like that we see actual effects of past experiences.

There's also a nice scene with Sam and a young teenager that really highlights his ability to connect with kids around that age (of which we see later in the TV series):

"My brother and I grew up without a Mom, too," Sam said... "It wasn't always easy... Not everybody gets that." "I still dream about her sometimes, you know? Even though I was young when she... when it happened," Nate blinked at Sam. "Weird, huh?" "Are they good dreams?" "Yeah." "Then it's good. That's your way of remembering her."

The last third of the book is very action-oriented and has multiple instances of hurt Sam and hurt Dean, with the requisite caring from each brother.

Once again, I've gone on too long, but I'll end with a couple of favorites: Humor:

The sheriff glanced out the window, (referring to Baby) "And haul that piece of crap car to the impound lot. I don't want it cluttering up my street." "Woah!" Dean snapped, a sudden rush of anger rising in his face. "Watch your damn mouth. You can't just---"

Drama:

"This is blood money," Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the Shekel. "Bobby says the only way anybody gets their hand on this..." The rest of the sentence was getting stuck in his chest, and he made himself finish it, "is by betraying someone you love." Dean stared at him. "Dean..." "Look," Dean broke in. "Don't get too hung up on it, okay? It doesn't necessarily mean anything," he stood up and brushed off his jeans. "Whatever happens between us, we'll deal with it then..."

Thanks again for reading! I'll be back again next week with War of the Sons!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Not Over You

A/N: This gif isn't mine, so if you're the owner, let me know so I can give you the credits.

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.8K

Summary: Months after Keanu puts an end to your relationship and disappears, you bump into him, reawakening intense feelings.

×

You never expected to be the only human being on Earth who would go through life without an episode of a heart break. It would happen sooner or later, and you, like everyone else, would get over it. Eventually.

But you could never guess the one to give you such a painful experience would be Keanu Reeves, the one and only.

You met Keanu by mistake. An accident. In a day where your whole life was coming undone, two years ago. You had just lost your job, your parents were giving you a hell of a hard time about it, and you, seeking comfort in your boyfriend, found him half-naked with another girl. That made you drive insanely fast, through busy streets, only to stop on this bridge outside of the town. You had no intention of jumping, you just needed time to think and the wind was strong and heavenly. Maybe it could wash it all away.

It didn't. But a man decided to stop, assuming the worst, and asked you not to do anything reckless. You assured him you wouldn't, and a small, heart to heart conversation started. It took several minutes for you to finally turn and look at the man, and that almost gave you a heart attack. You couldn't believe your eyes. And you couldn't believe him, of all men, would pause his whole life just because of some random girl by the bridge.

But that was only the first day. He invited you for a coffee, and it took only a few days for you to get to the man behind the worldwide famous actor. And you fell in love with him. For a while, you thought he had fallen for you too.

But the media was restless. People soon found out about the age difference and that made them go crazy. News channel, tabloids, magazines, internet blogs, everything, they were all about Keanu's younger girlfriend. It didn't bother you though. You couldn't care less about what people think or say. But one day, it got to him.

One day, he decided to have an honest conversation with you about it. Keanu told you he felt old, so out of your league. Him. Out of your league. You remember laughing at this statement. But he didn't. He was dead serious as he pointed out all the things you couldn't share. How you belonged to different generations and never seemed to get each other's references. How you were into different things. It soon became a fight when you realized what he was doing. The yelling started and soon the crying. Keanu apologized and ended things. He wished you the best. He wished you to find someone your age, someone better than him.

That happened six months ago. It feels like years though. Since that day, you can only see him on TV. No texts, no calls. Nothing. Like he hasn't been in your life at all.

“(Y/N).” Your friend calls you, dragging you away from your thoughts. That's when you realize what made you remember him. Two men on your left, a few tables away, are talking about motorcycles. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” Nodding, you look down at your cup of coffee, still untouched. Your friend made you come to this new coffee shop early in the morning, and you wish you could enjoy it. But now that Keanu is once again in your mind... You find it difficult to take in the beautiful vintage decoration. The pastel colors and all the happy people around you, chatting and smiling.

“Please tell me your not–”

“I'm not.” You cut her off, taking a deep breath. “I was just... Thinking about this office party next week. I can bring someone. Wanna come?” Lying is not your thing, but if you tell Laura you're thinking about Keanu again, she won't let it go easily.

“Sorry. Next week will be hectic, I don't think I can.” Feeling her eyes on you, you sigh. “But on the weekend we can do something nice like going to the–” She stops talking suddenly, eyes wide, staring at something behind you.

“Laura?” Raising your eyebrows, you wonder which one of her many ex-boyfriends is here. “Do you need me to go so you can talk to him?”

“No, no.” Running a hand through your hair, you notice this person approaching by how she moves in her seat. Still, you don't turn to check who it is. The only boyfriend she had that you liked had to move to someplace in Europe. The others are all idiots, so why bother to look?

“Just tell me what you want to do.” Muttering, you finally take a sip of your coffee before putting the cup down again. Too bitter for your taste. Or is it just you?

“(Y/N).” The mention of your name isn't what startles you. Or what makes your heart, ripped in half, skip a beat. It's the voice. You haven't heard it in a very long time, but you recognize it immediately. You crave for it. “Hi.”

“I'll leave you two.” Laura stands up, taking her bag, and giving you a stare. You don't know what it means though.

She doesn't even give you time to think. Perhaps you should leave as well. But you're frozen, not able to even look at him.

It takes a few seconds until he takes a seat before you, where Laura was. Seeing Keanu now is... What? Torture, certainly. Because you just realized you want to jump in his arms again, hug him, kiss him. Is painful because you know you can't do any of those things. And you shouldn't want to.

But there he is, looking as good as the day you first saw him. Dark hair hiding one of his eyes, the stubble that always looks so rough, but you know how soft it really is. He's right there, and you could just stretch your arm and touch him.

There are a lot of things you want to say, and the words fight for a chance to be spoken.

'What the hell do you want?'

'Where have you been all this time?'

'I still love you.'

'Why did you came to talk to me?'

'Do you still love me?'

“Hi.” It's stupid how this is what wins in the end.

“How are you? It's been a while.” He hesitates a little, those dark eyes never leaving you, burning. How much you missed those eyes looking at you...

“Normal.”

“Just normal?”

“Just normal.” You should lie. Tell him you're absolutely fine. Happy as hell. Maybe you should even tell him you're going out with someone. But you just can't. You love him too much, and the time you had together was good. The very best. The way it ended doesn't change how amazing it was. So you just can't bring yourself to lie to him. But you don't tell the truth either. Keanu doesn't have to know how devastated you still are after he left. “You?”

“Guess I can say I'm normal too.” There are things left unsaid. From both of you. “Is it too bitter?”

“What?” You mumble, and he gestures at your coffee. He knows you. Too well perhaps. “Yeah. Why-why are you here, Ke?” When you notice how you just called him, it's too late. Cursing yourself, you bite your tongue. “Keanu.” Or should you say, Mr. Reeves? You don't know where you stand now. Friends? It can't be since he disappeared.

“I heard of this new coffee shop and decided to come and... When I saw you, I just had to come and talk.” He nods, maybe to himself. “But I can go if that's what you want.”

“No.” How could you want him to leave? “It's... It's good to see you again.” A smile finds its way to your lips. “After what? Three, four months?” You dissimulate, not wanting to just let it show how much you missed him.

“Seven months next week, I believe.” Is he counting? Why would he do that? “Too long.”

“Too long.” You're still speaking when a young couple stops by your table, excitedly talking to Keanu. You smile to see how he excuses himself, with an apologetic look, to give his fans attention. He's always kind to them, never being rude. When he stands up for a picture, you take the chance to leave, your heart sinking a little. After leaving the money on the table, you take your bag and walk away, doing your best to hold back the tears threatening to roll down.

You had imagined this moment a million times. Seeing him again. You thought you'd yell, curse him and bravely walk away. But this? You're walking away out of fear. You're running away from the feelings, too strong for you to handle. How is it possible to love someone so intensely after all this time?

“(Y/N)!” His voice comes with the familiar noise of his motorcycle. So you stop, breathing deeply, hoping the soft shadow of the three above you will hide your teary eyes. “I'm sorry about that, I–”

“You know I don't mind, Ke... Keanu.” Damn it.

“I... I want to talk to you. So maybe somewhere more private where we won't be interrupted?”

No. You don't want to talk to him. You don't want to pour salt on the wound. “Alright.” If only you were stronger.

Keanu gives you his helmet, and you put it on before climbing on the bike behind him. There's no choice but to hug his waist, so that's what you do, trying not to enjoy it so much. It's probably nothing. He probably just wants to apologize.

You can't help but notice he still keeps the same speed as before. Not as fast as he usually goes when he's alone. As much as this gesture warms your heart, you try to keep it distant. Try to keep it cold. Cold people don't get hurt.

You're not impressed when you stop at his place. Well, his house. One of them. He moved after breaking up with you. Keanu waits patiently for you to move to the ground. The bike is too high for you, so it's always a little complicated. Taking off the helmet, you hand it over to him, making your way to the front door. But halfway there you change your mind. Being inside his house is too much. It's too familiar, too... Too much. So you walk around it, straight to the backyard.

Sitting on the wooden table, you take in the view. The morning sun turns everything into a dream. You remember that the best pictures you have with Keanu were taken here after you either decided to crash here or passed out on his couch.

Memories. The damn memories never leave you alone.

“I forgive you.” You burst out when he comes to sit before you. “If you want to apologize for... I don't know, for anything. I forgive you.”

“I wasn't planning on this.” He starts hands together above the table. “But I saw you there and... I just had to.”

You don't know what to say, so you look down, unable to sustain eye contact anymore. What are you doing? What is he doing? “You disappeared.” It just comes out, suddenly, full of... Anger? Desperation? You don't know, but it's overflowing. “After everything we've been through, you broke up with and disappeared. Not a single call. Not even a text. Nothing!”

“I had to.”

“You had to?” A humorless laugh escapes your lips and you stand up, determined to leave. On foot, if that's what it takes.

“I had to because if not I'd come back to you.” He raises his voice a little, just enough to make you stop in your tracks, hands shaking a little. “I did what I did because of you.”

“No, you did it for yourself.” Turning around again, you sustain his stare. “I didn't want to end things. I love you!” It came out wrong. Didn't it? It was supposed to be in the past. “I loved you.” You correct yourself, a hand on your forehead. “I... I'm sorry. You think I'm too young for you and that's ok. You have the right to think that but don't put words in my mouth. I never cared about age.”

“Everything I wanted was you to have the chance of making a better choice. Someone your age who could keep up with all the pop culture things you're into.” He speaks slow, his voice soft and low again. Keanu never raises his voice at you. Well, he only does it get your attention when you're too mad to listen, but he never enjoys it.

“If I wanted someone my freaking age I'd be looking for him.” Stepping forward, you slam both your hands on the table. “When I fell for you, I wasn't paying attention to the numbers. I fell for you. You. Why can't you accept that?”

“The tabloids were saying that I was–”

“Taking advantage?” You finish it for him. “Yeah, they said a lot of mean stuff but I didn't give a damn. Our relationship was between you and me. The rest of the world didn't get a say in it.”

Keanu looks down, breathing deeply. You just stand there, waiting. Begging... Begging this means something. Something good.

“Say something, please.”

“I still love you.” The words hit you like a train, and you stand up straight, not strong enough to look away from him.

“Don't say that if you don't mean it.” You beg, your voice barely a whisper.

“I mean it.”

“Don't say that if you still think we can't be together because of this or that!” You gesture at nothing in particular, tears rolling down now, all the walls you put around yourself falling to the ground. “You broke my heart once, don't do that again.”

“I can't stop thinking about you.” Keanu stands up, walking around the table and stopping before you. “Every single day I had to fight the urge to call you. Visit you. To... Have you back, but I couldn't. That's why I moved away. And I only came back because I thought I got over you but... Clearly, I didn't.” When he takes your hand, you swear you feel the world slowing down. You have been dreaming of his touch for so long now that you just don't have to strength to push him away. You want him. And... If he wants you too...

“Ke, please don't–”

“When I saw you, it came back. Everything since that day on the bridge.” Pulling up your hand, he places a soft kiss on your knuckles. “Every hug, every kiss, every date. It reminded me of how much I missed you.”

It's useless to fight it. It's useless to put any effort into trying to step away now. Your arms move from his chest up to be around his neck as you end the small distance between your bodies. Keanu is quick to hug your waist and it feels like both your bodies move out of instinct. Like you missed each other in levels you can't even understand.

“What do you mean, Ke?” Your voice is weak, barely a whisper. Involuntary, you stand on your toes, needing, wanting to kiss him again.

“I don't care what they say. Tabloids, magazines, to hell with them. All I need, all I want is you and if you really don't mind having such an old man–”

“Everything about you draws me in. Inside and out.” Cutting him short, you caress his cheek, wondering if you should allow yourself to be happy. If this is really happening.

“I know, darling.” He takes a deep breath. “I know what I did hurt you very much but... If you're willing to try again...”

“If you ever break up with me again over this whole age shit or for anything someone who doesn't even know us says... I'll be the one to disappear this time.” You mutter with your eyes closed, using whatever is left of your strength to keep from kissing him. “Promise me.”

“The plans we had... About getting married, having kids... I want it all back. I want to get things where we left them.”

Biting back a smile, you nod, finally allowing your thirsty lips to meet his. And it feels like heaven, like getting a chance to breathe after being underwear for too long. He tastes just the same, like home. Some tears roll down, giving the kiss a salty taste, but you don't mind. They're tears of joy now.

When you pull away to breathe, he lifts you up, and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. “You didn't get a chance to drink your coffee so let me make you breakfast.”

“Like before?”

“Yes. And if it's up to me, it'll be like that forever. For the rest of our lives or for as long as you want me.”

“Forever, then, Ke.” Smiling, you place a soft kiss on his lips. Yours now, once again. “Forever and always, babe.”

[huntective-kyeo]

❗Warning❗ TYPOS, SPELLING, AND GRAMMAR. And English is not my first language. Kinda angry hehehe

This is my first time to post it here and I hope you like it. Feel free to criticize my writing so I can improve.

So enjoy.

FIRST FANFIC

My Father is Dean Winchester

Dean POV

I sat down on the chair and open the lid of the beer. It's been hectic two weeks. Sam and I hunt a witch in Colorado and it took us a week to find the witch and killed it. That witch got Sam to bruise his ankle, and a concussion but thankfully nothing major injuries that needed stitches and so. Most of all the sonavabitch wore witch almost touch and probably hex my Baby which I did make her pay for it.

All in all, it took us a few days to get back at the bunker and now I'm sitting on the chair, probably wanted to eat some pies and get drunk.

My thoughts interrupt when the door opened and I looked up wonder who that person is. My instinct is to grab my trustful gun and aim it towards that intruder. However instead of getting alert, and hunting instinct it exactly quite opposite to what I feel right now.

Third POV.

A girl took a deep breath and with her shaky hand, she holds the handle and she pauses before she opened the door.

She didn't know what to do or what to say. She felt nervous to face them all. She wants to keep it secret however it keeps harder and harder to hide all the symptoms she felt during the last few months.

with heavy heart and soul, she opened the door and wish that bunker is well as empty as when she leaves it a few hours ago.

She didn't notice that the Impala, her first love park on her usual spot, she didn't notice a man sit on the chair seem like thinking something, she didn't notice her dad.

Dean POV

" y/n? " I blurted out. I didn't notice that my daughter y/n leave the bunker without telling us, or wasn't I?

Y/n my precious daughter, my little sunshine, and the only reason aside from my little brother who keeps me alive. 16 years ago Her mother and I met at the bar and happened to have one night stand. I was drunk to forget us condoms. I didn't realize it until, nine months later, Kylia found me and she shove the newly baby born into arms. I didn't hear her rants about not wanting kids because I was so fallen to my baby girl. I swear y/n is the most beautiful baby girl that I've ever seen. From that fateful night, I swore that I protect and love her no matter what.

With the help of my brother and my family, we did a good job raising a finest and yet mini-me y/n which kinda bit frustrated when she becomes a rebellious teenager and seeking for a new way to hunt.

I know that being a father and hunter ain't hood to raise a child in a world full of darkness but I did try my best to become a father that she deserved and not the father that I used to grow up

I again clear up my throat and by the time that I saw her, I know something is terrible up. Called it father instinct. My stomach began to feel something that I don't know if it's about the food or the worriedness about my daughter.

"Where have you been, I told you not to go outside not unless if you needed something but should-" I stumble and am shocked by a sudden hug coming from my daughter. My eyebrows meet and speculate more thoughts about what happened to her during a few weeks.

Then suddenly y/n cried up and my heart broke up thousand of pieces. Through I used to her cry of nonsense but this is different. I can feel it.

I began to think of a different reason why she cried like this. Is she on her period? Did a boy break her heart? If it is, then who? Oh god, my baby girl is heartbroken?! No-no-no.

" Hey, baby girl what's wrong? " I managed to ask a few words as I stroke her hair.

I didn't get her reply as she continues sobbing and sniffing on my chest. I continuously stroke her hair and rubbed a small circle on her back. With her tears I heard, I began to tear up which probably I got hurt when my baby girl gets hurt.

I saw Sam holding a can and some books and gave me confused look. I know he was confused about what is going on and the same as me. I only gave her shrug off before concentrate on keeping her calm down.

I sigh and sing a song that makes her calm down. It's a song that I always sing to her whenever she feels scared and upset. it her lullaby and till now I always sing to her when she felt like this. And now even though she's growing up ain't stopping this.

'Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better'

I sang softly and smile. I heard her sobs subside and her shoulder is no longer tensed. I kissed her head and quietly sing the rest of the song

By the song ends, y/n look up to me and hate to see her red-rimmed eyes and red nose face at me.

" Daddy... "

Y/n POV

After the song finish, I felt quite comfortable and my heart no longer pains me.

" daddy" I called up again. I hate seeing my dad worried glances and I wanted to back down but I know it's too late, now that I cried to his chest, and makes my father worried.

" what's wrong, princess " I nearly chuckle to hear the old nickname that I used to love but hate now. I should give my father annoying and death glares to him but I'm drained and tired to argue with my father.

Instead of the reply to his question, I took a piece of paper inside my leather jacket. With my shaky hand, I hesitate to give it to him. I saw my father unfold the paper and read it.

I know he reads it as I saw his face turn to a worried and horrifying face. I bit my lip as teardrops start to stream to his face and suddenly it aches my heart.

I didn't realize that my uncle Sam was there and he took the paper that my dad read it. My dad was frozen and saw Sam has the same reaction but he stumbled a bit and luckily sat on the chair or else he would hurt more.

The air was tense and several minutes seemed like a century to me as I was forced to see my dad and uncle of their horrifying reaction.

I was about to leave them and lock them up in my room but my dad grabs my wrist and put pressure on it, so I couldn't shove it off, I hesitate to look at his now red-rimmed eyes just like mine.

" Is this true? "

My heart broke as I nod

" when... When did it start? "

I flinched to hear a tone when my dad wanted a straight answer but I could see the difference of it. Instead of deadly and threatened, it's a broken and saddened tone that probably haunt me the rest of my life.

" honey, when did start... " I look up to him as a surprise to hear the familiar fatherly sweet tone that only me can know.

"a few months ago. When you just back from purgatory dad... " I mumble but I know that dad heard it because he mumbles coherent words that I know he's cursing, I wish it's not from me.

Then suddenly my dad sat down on the chair and then he hugged tightly couldn't breathe but slightly loose the tightness but still hugging me

" We can pull this up alright, we will. N/n we will fight this together okay, we'll find ways to rid this shit. We will be on your battle. " I then look up at my father and saw the tense and urging look " we will fight this out but you'll do your job ok, you'll kick this shit out, and keep fighting. Don't give up okay please, little n/n. " I heard him crack as didn't say anything considering, I was crying again and the inky response I can get is nodding.

Then I hug my father again and I feel another wrapped strong arms. I smile softly that uncle Sam joined the party. Now we are Complete, I feel like I'm ready to fight this shut out.

" Winchester is hard to kill, not even cancer. " I chuckle to hear uncle Sammy spoke.

"Yeah right, so you gonna do your part little princess, aright. Don't give up. " My father kiss my forehead. We parted away and wipes the tears we have. We laugh as we sniffle then finally our tears died down.

My father, Dean wipe the remaining tears and I look up to him confused. I saw him sad and regret my eyes and my heart sank.

" I love you N/Niepie, " then he kisses my forehead.

----AND CUT!!! ---

" Nice work J2 and Jodi damn there are no dried tears here " Robert yelled as all the staff and crew wipe their tears. " okay thirty minutes break, Jared, come to me I gotta asked you something" he added.

A group of assistants swarms the actors and did their task. Some wipe their sweats, do makeup, fixing their hair, and so on.

Jensen chuckles a little bit and wipes the remaining tears from his eyes.

" nice job dude, seem like the Days of our Lives gig paid off huh" A sixteen years old, young actress Jodi Smith tease him.

He rolled his eyes and ruffle her hair. " nice try but no you not riding my Baby" Jodi groan and about to reply when her assistant came and whisper to her ear "You're lucky, Mr. Ackles. Robert needs me now but I won't stop bothering you not until I sat on the driver seat and ride the impala".

When Jodi is out of sight, Jensen Ackles began to walk through his trailer. The thirty minutes of break is not enough of yearning for his daughter.

By the time he got inside. He locks it and sits on the couch. He rubbed his tired face as he grabs the old filthy Cinderella wallet. Today scene was emotional to him, not because of the scene itself but because he truly did miss his daughter y/n

In the finale of season 12, alongside Jack Kline played Alexander Calvert, and y/n Winchester played Jodi Smith we're both introduced and a new cast of Supernatural. Jensen was supposed to be glad that there are two new members of their family, but instead, it replaces guilt and dreadful feelings.

It's not the new cast members but the fact that Jodi Smith portrays is seem a great punch to his heart that he starts to realize he still has a daughter that should be taken care of.

No one knows not even Jared. Danneel and the kids, the crew nor the fans knew that the great Jensen Ackles has a secret daughter and only his close family knew about this truth.

" I'm sorry princess, How I wish I was there for you but you know I can't."

Jensen stroke a faded picture of an eight-year-old girl holding a doll whilst hugging the twenty-year-old Jensen Ackles.

" I'm sorry, I love you" he kisses the picture with so much love and tears began to stream down his cheeks

Hope you like it keep safe everyone. Reblog and like will yah.

[coolkat122]

On The Case: L x Reader (Death Note AU Pilot)

Fandom: Death Note

Character: L

Setting: AU

_________________________

I was getting ready to do my performance for the show, putting on my makeup and making sure my hair was just right till I looked perfect and ready to go, and I was right on time too because one of the stage helpers came to let me know it was time for me.

I smiled and nodded as I got up from my seat and went onto the stage acting my heart, putting everything I had into my performance. And judging from the audience's reactions they were loving it, it made me want to smile but I couldn't that would be breaking character and I just couldn't do that. 

Some time passed and finally the show ended and the actors (including me) stood on the stage and bowed as they flew flowers our way and applauded our performance. I looked out into the audience smiling when I saw a face I never thought I would see for the rest of my life.

He was more wrinklier than I remembered with extra added white to their hair, his dark blue eyes stared at me with mix emotions but I didn't care I quickly departed from the stage heading to my dressing room and as I was about to undress the very person I didn't want to see got in.

I glared feeling beyond piss as he stood by the door. "What are you doing here?" He looked of to the side ashamed before straighten his posture and holding his head high.

"It's been years and I came here to apologi-" I clenched my fist not caring in the slightest to let him finish his sentence.

"I don't care! You can take your apology and shove it" Feeling angry I stepped closer to him with tears threatening to fall but I held them back not wanting to let a single one fall in front of this bastard. 

"Four, four years" I threw up my hand holding up a four. "And now is when you came back? Why huh? It's not because you love me or want your daughter back, you made it pretty clear you didn't want me in your life the day you disowned me" I looked away for a split second as I recalled the events of that day.

"You only came here because you want to sucker me into the family business and I want no part of it, all I want to do is act" I pointed to the door. "Now leave!"  He was reluctant but eventually did so, closing the door quietly.

I gave my back to the door and stood there for a few minutes before getting changed and left heading home, it was a one bedroom apartment and kind of small but enough for me but that's probably because I don't spend much time in here. It's mostly spent outside at the park or somewhere I can comfortably practice my lines. 

I tossed my keys onto the stand as I took off my shoes heading directly for my chair by the dinner table, I placed my elbow onto the table and my cheek on my palm as I looked down onto the faded green table as I thought back to that day.

"ENOUGH! You are to take over the business" My Father shouted as I had just got back from an audition that he some how found out about.

"But I don't want too Dad! I want to be a famo-" I was cut off by angered Father.

"You will do no such thing!"

"Watch me!" I marched towards the door.

"If you step outside that door you will be dead to me" I paused for a second as I registered his words, I thought it over and with a quick flick of my wrist I turned the doorknob and opening the door.

"Then I'll tell Mother you said hello" I stepped out slamming the door behind me.

That was four years ago and this is the first time since then that he's contacted me so forgive me if I feel that it's too little too late,as I am now I want nothing to do with him. I just don't believe he's changed, I'm sure he just wants me back so he can force me back into the stupid business. 

I don't want to run it, it's not my dream and obviously not what I want for my life. I sighed getting up and heading to bed without dinner, seeing him made me lose my apatite.

If I had any dreams I sure don't remember them as I woke up and did my morning routine before heading out , I made the usual stops before heading to work when I arrived their were cops all over the place. I ran over to Misa a fellow actor who was standing by watching the police and questioned her on what was going on.

"Oh ____ they found a dead guy in the backstage... in your dressing room" My eyes widen as I turned back to the building and spotted the body.

"Dad?" I ran over to him, shock to see him in such a state. It made me regret turning him away and not letting him say his piece who knows maybe he wasn't trying to get me back in the business but rather just trying to have his daughter back in his life? I don't know but...but seeing him lying dead just made me wish I gave him a chance maybe he would be alive right now, maybe we could have started over.

"Ma'm was it your dressing room that his man was found in?" I nodded and he pulled me aside for questioning it almost seemed like I was a suspect and I get why, he was my Father and we were not on good terms and he was found in my dressing room yeah not exactly looking like I'm innocent here.

But they didn't arrest me or anything since there was no evidence pointing towards me plenty of people saw me head home especially since I signed some autographs on my way there so I was free to go. 

They assured me that they would do their best to catch whoever did it but it wasn't enough, I mean no offense to them but most of their case are left unsolved, I needed someone with a good track record someone I was sure could solve this thing and catch my Father's murder.

But who? I had intentions of going to a nearby library and look up the best detectives around with some very thorough research I found someone that fit what I was looking for. I immediately went to their base of operation, it was a very nice looking place on a semi-empty street. 

It was mostly all bricks and a beautiful white door with a golden color knob, I knocked on the door and with the slightest touch it opened and I know I shouldn't enter without permission but I did anyway. It was poorly lit and it stayed that way till I made a left turn and saw a single light source emitting for a doorless doorway.

I head to it with caution feeling slightly frighten that this could be like a show I did a few weeks back where this female went into the home of a stranger when she saw his door open only to find the man strangled not exactly the same reason why I entered but enough matched for my mind to think of it. And it was making me more than a little scared.

When I reached the doorway I spotted a male surround by sweets on the floor with a laptop as the only source of light in the room. He must have heard me because the odd sitting male bent his neck back to look at me as he raised a piece of candy above his lips before dropping them in.

Once he was finished with the candy in his mouth he spoke.

"We're closed"...

—- -

This is a failed pilot that I might restart at some point idk

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[zukoshotleafjuice]

The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:

1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)

2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)

3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂

4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.

5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)

There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.

Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.

Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?

Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.

People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.

OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.

Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 

People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 

That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 

“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”

I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 

When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 

This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!

[juncottonluvbot]

Simple joy

Hi!! This my first exo fic!! It's a little angsty but still very fluffy, enjoy :)

Kyungsoo x reader

Kyungsoo may not seem like a simple man at first, maybe being a member of one of the most famous boy groups nowadays didn't exactly help with portraying him that way, but however unlikely that someone in his position would enjoy such peaceful things as cooking, soft sweaters and even have owning a farm as a second option for career (only second to being an world-wide famous singer and actor of course) there he was.

Of course he wasn't totally different from his peers, he did enjoy to fool around with the goofs he was lucky enough to call members, it's just that sometimes, when his members would likely be gaming, still immersed on making music or any other likely agitated activity he just likes the more quiet ways to spend time.

His favourite way of passing time was for sure food, just everything about it, from the buying of the ingredients to the tasting of the meal, cooking was just such an fascinating field and as much as he knew a lot about this activity there seemed to always be more to know.

So there he was, in this little bakery not too far from the dorms, his latest little culinary adventure was centered around desserts, a topic he at first had very little interest in. Not because it wasn't as complex of a field, very much every part of cooking is both complex and fascinating to him, he just never had that much of a sweet tooth.

Now that he's in this cute little spot, one that was so close to him all this time as well, he regrets not having explored this earlier.

He regrets it even more after he sees you.

When you politely ask if he's ready to place his order, with the sweetest smile on your face, Kyungsoo knows he'll have to come here again, and again.

It definatly helped that the deserts were amazing.

So for about a month Kyungsoo found himself coming to the cutely colored place at every opportunity, always asking for a new item of the menu and trying to convince himself that he was going there because of the deserts and not the cutie behind the counter.

All tough he might have convinced himself of his pure motives, his members knew him best and soon began to catch up on his little crush.

The first member to realise was Suho, the leader had asked for a recommendation on where to order a cake and found it odd for Kyungsoo to have answered his question so fast when he had never seemed to take big interest in cakes before.

So, after Suho sharing the strange happening to the rest of the group and Baekhyun connecting the dots that the bakery must be where Kyungsoo has been spending so much of time and money lately, even further confirmed by an inspection of the place, the clear conclusion after seeing you being that Kyungsoo had a crush.

And a big one at that.

So for the next few days after the members came to such conclusions about his life, Kyungsoo hadn't been able to go back and visit you... I mean... The bakery, he hadn't been able to eat all those sweet treats (...and see your cute smiles...) as the members all been either trying to convince him to confess to you or trying to come to the place with him, both options very bad in Kyungsoos eyes.

It wasn't that he thought he wasn't enough for you, he was not afraid of rejection, it was a part of life, after all the things he had done in his life it wasn't as if he couldn't handle it, it was if you did like him back that was the issue.

Kyungsoo is an idol, a major boy group idol, an international singer and actor, dating just didn't quite match with that in his eyes.

You were not an idol, you were not famous at all, just managing a bakery, a cute little bakery, that was your job... How could he step in and ruin that for you?

Dating an idol was not simple, it just wasn't, it was complicated, difficult and bringing someone normal to that, someone who was living such a peaceful and quiet life at that, he just coudn't do it.

The way you smiled so sweetly at him, told him excitedly about the new recipies you were trying out or talked about some weird encounter you had that week, that was enough for him, it had to be, to see you sad would just break his heart.

His members of course felt saddened by his explanation, saying things like 'none of that matters if you love each other' or 'love conquers all', but nothing could convince him;

"None of you have ever had a long term relationship with someone who was not famous, have you?", was what he would say to them, shutting down all arguments and finally being able to go back to paying his peaceful little visits to you.

His members had not lost all hope though, there was no chance of getting through Kyungsoos brain, but they had not yet tried talking to you.

When you saw the three very recognisable (in spite the hats and masks) members of exo, you were surprised, after all they had not come by again after ordering a cake so you thought their opinion on your cooking must be different to your fellow regular custumer and crush Kyungsoo.

You were even more surprised when they politely asked if you could sit down and talk to them for a minute, but, seeing as the bakery was empty at the moment (also due to your curiosity), you agreed.

Now with the odd trio in front of you if was hard to guess what they might tell you, Suho, Baekhyun and Kai was not an common combination, but it came to be as it turns out Baekhyun was very invested in Kyungsoos love life, Kai was Kyungsoos self declared best friend (so he had to be there for him, of course) and Suho was just in charge of making sure nothing went wrong.

And nothing did.

After the boys began explaining the situation to you, completely glossing over the fact that Kyungsoo liked you (causing you to ask them to repeat about five minutes of conversation because of the shock), you began to comprehend the situation.

'So.. I should confess to him?'

Baekhyuns eyes lit up then already starting to get up to leave.

"Yes! See, you're so smart! I can see why Kyungsoo likes you so much. You can go get him now!"

Junmyeon also started to get up to leave, not before saying;

"Just... Hum... Explain to him you understand what you're getting in to, ok?"

"And don't back off if he rejects you at first! That's just the fear talking, he likes you, ok?"

Kai said while getting up and then pointing at some cookies in the balcony.

"Can i have eight of those? To go" , the boy added before leaving.

And so you were left with figuring out how to find the courage to confess to your wildly famous crush, simple.

Now, for a starters you decided against just 'going and getting' him, after all how would you even do that? You don't have his number or adress and you're pretty sure sm doesn't just let people in like that.

So you waited until Kyungsoo went to your shop again.

Wich took him two weeks.

He was forgiven though as soon as he walked in, with that beautiful heart smile of his, you just had to smile back.

Then came the routine, he asked what was new on the menu, you talked excidetly about the alteration you made to the red velvet cupcake recipie and he ordered one with tea.

Now you were left with just how you would approach him?

You decided to wait until he finished his meal, he always stays a little longer anyways.

But after a while of doing your chores, you heard his chair screech.

So of course you got up from your spot on the counter and half ran to him, only realizing how weird that looked like to someone who didn't knew your intentions after you saw Kyungsoos already big eyes double in size;

"Can you sit back down please? I need to talk to you about something"

You noticed his confused expression as he sat down turn in to an irritated one as he began speaking very quickly;

"They told you didn't they? Look i'm not a creep if thats whet your thinking, i don't come here just to watch you. I do watch a little cause you're very good looking and i have a bit of a crush on you but i also come here for the food, you know?"

Kyungsoo then stopped to register his first batch of words, but you interrupted him mid cooking his second one;

"I like you too"

At the first moment of your revelation his eyes filled up with surprise and joy, though that look was quickly replaced by a sad one and he beagan to speak again, this time softly;

"I... I'm glad but this... It won't work... I mean, you know i'm an idol right? I can't just date someone...It's so complicated, you'll get hurt and i...I just can't"

He started to leave the table, only stopped when you took his hand;

"Listen Kyungsoo, i know how complicated idol relationships are, ok? I'm not oblivious, i thought about this. Think, every time you come to this bakery, when we talk about recipies, things of the shop, even the weather, don't you wish for more?"

He seemed hesitant now, searching for something in your eyes, you could only hope he could see what you saw, possibility for something great.

And as he picked up a pen from his back pocket and a napkin from the table you were sure he did.

"Maybe i can cook for you? I'm not as great as you are but i'm definatly not bad either"

"I'm sure i'll enjoy anything you cook Kyungsoo"

"If you say so..."

He smiled at you for the second time today, this time with pink cheeks.

"Goodbye y/n"

"Goodbye Kyungsoo"

Then he went out the door and you were left wishing more than anything that this would work out.

[procrastination-queenie]

No promises part 11

Warning: again this is so sad, so don't read if you don't want to.

First: If you haven't read part 1 please read it.

Second: you can listen to "No promises" by Shayne Ward.

Third: anything written between two stars *....* Is the content of a letter and it's also considered as a flashback.

It was in the middle of the day when he got a phone call from you. "Hello darling". "Tom." He sensed your weak voice and immediately there was a frown making it's way on his face. "What's wrong darling?!" His voice was laced with concern afraid of what she's going to say next. "I'm at the hospital". His heart almost stopped beating; he knew this was bound to happen, but never did he imagine it to happen like that. "which hospital?". On saying the word "hospital." Harrison ran to get the car ready as he understood what was happening and why exactly was a phone call was made from the hospital,but the twins remained confused and worried.

"Would just tell us why is she in the hospital?" Sam asked running out of patience as they drove to the hospital. "She's dying okay!!" Every one sat in silence except for Tom's sobs that were heard. Sam and Harry were shocked at the back and Harrison was lost, he felt sad for both of you and Tom. In the short amount that you knew him you became like a second sister to him. It was just the worst day for everyone.

You were sitting in the hospital bed waiting. Just staring at your hands which were on your lap. Tom and the rest made it to the hospital. "You go in first mate." Harrison said patting Tom's shoulder.

You heard the room's door open and you looked up to find Tom in the most broken state you've ever seen him in. "Hey" you said opening your arms for a hug. He ran to you and hugged you so tight afraid that if he let you go , you would vanish.

He didn't want to ask but he had to; "I-i-is it the time?" He asked already knowing the answer but kept denying it to himself. He felt you nodd with your head resting on his shoulder. Slowly you started to feel his chest moving, up and down as if he was struggling to breathe. He was beginning to cry and it didn't take too long until he was sobbing again. He was in a state of denial , in fact he was waiting for the doctor to enter any minute now and say that a miracle has happened and you're suddenly healed. "Don't cry, I don't want any crying. Do you understand? " You said pulling away from the hug trying to remain strong as possible. You wiped Tom's tears with your thumb as you leaned in to give him a kiss, then rest your forehead on his. You were silent for a few seconds. "Are the others outside?" Tom not trusting if he could utter a word without bursting into tears, nodded his head. "Go tell them to come in, I want to see them." You said giving him a kiss on the cheek. Tom went outside to get them but he almost fell to the ground; luckly Harrison was able to catch him in time. "Ay, mate hold it together". "She wants to see you all." Tom said barely whispering,but they heard him. Harrison, the twins then Tom all entered the room. "Heeey, Haz " you said hugging him. He was sad to see you in such a state nevertheless he did his best to conceal his sadness for yours and Tom's sake. "Don't forget what I told you." You whispered in Haz's ear and he nodded. "Oooh Harry. The funniest guy I've known in the Holland family, but of course after Dominic." You said trying to lighten up his mood. He gave you a sad smile as he hugged you. Next was Sam. "And finally Mr. Freckles" you said as he smiled at the nick name that you gave him a few months ago which he didn't mind, he knew you nick named him "Mr. Freckles" because you loved his freckles. He knew because you told him. They stayed with you for a few minutes, each one saying their goodbyes in their own way, before they left you with Tom. Waiting outside the three slided on the wall waiting, waiting till the end. Harry was crying, Sam was patting him on the back and Harrison was lost in his own thoughts.

Meanwhile Tom lied beside you on the bed hugging you. Your face was in his neck as you played with the necklace that you gave to him with one hand while the other played with his fingers. "Did I ever tell you that I love your hands?" Tom chuckled lightly "All the time, darling". And It was true you always expressed to him how much you love his hands or anything about him in particular.

"Just promise me one thing." You said holding on to him for dear life. "Anything sweetheart." He said as if this promise is the only thing that will prevent you from dying. "Don't forget me." You said with tears falling down your cheek as you couldn't hold it in anymore and looked up at him. "I promise darling." He said hugging you closer to him as if to protect you from what's to become, but he knows he can't, still he held you tight. "Sing to me Tom, please." He nodded with a shaky breath. "Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

I'm gonna give you my heart

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

'Cause you light up the path." He sang with a croaked voice but trying to sound as normal as possible. "You're a terrible singer, thank God you're only an actor." He chuckled sadly at your comment, still he sang to you softly just as he did at the concert. You slowly started to drift in a long deep sleep. By the time Tom finished the song he looked at you ... checking...for what he didn't know. No, in fact he was still in denial and was checking for any sign of breathing but there wasn't any. He slowly started to lose it as he cried and pleaded for you to wake up, " baby, please wake up" he sobbed into your neck. Whispering to you how he was planning to marry you and start a life with him, he said all of this in hopes that you would magically wake up from this deep slumber like Snow White or sleeping beauty, but you didn't. Harrison and the Hollands heard his cries so, they entered quickly. Dominic and Harrison were trying to pull him away from you. Nikki stood in the corner hugging both of the twins as the three of them cried. Nikki and Dominic came immediately when Harrison called knowing that he will need help as much as possible because not only would it be difficult to handle Tom, the twins also lost it. They just couldn't take it; she was perfectly fine the last time they saw her.

(End of flashback)

"Oh shit... Right you probably know about her. You were the only one Sam had told you that he fancies a girl." Tom said talking to you. To anyone he's just a mad person talking to a ....... tomb stone.

(flashback)

*Tom I know you're probably sitting in a corner crying your eyes out as Harrison is reading this letter.* The boys sitting around chuckled at her sense of humour even though she's...gone. Tom looked up, eyes red and puffy, as Harrison continued to read the letter you told him about "don't forget what I told you" Harrison remembered the last thing you told him... It was about the letter. *but please I'm asking you to stop doing so. I know that this is hard for you, I would have done the same probably worse because I really loved you with all my heart. You are the only man who really knew how to make me feel loved. You are the only man who stole my breath away. So, please I want you to do this for me, move on* Tom shook his head as more tears fell from his eyes, down his cheeks and tickling it's way down his neck. *and don't stop yourself from achieving great things in life, which I know you could achieve, just because of this. It will definitely be hard. Just know that this will make me proud of you; it will make your family more proud knowing that their son, brother, or friend passed this chapter in his life.* Harrison smiled as a tear slipped from his eyes, his heart ached at how you counted him a member of the Holland's. *Just know that you are my one and only.*

Both Sam and Harry were sitting on a sofa; each one sitting at each end of it, listening to Harrison as he read your letter. *Sam* Harrison looked up at Sam to see surprise written all over his face. Sam didn't expect you to write for him. *I left something for you with Harrison and I'm sure you'll know what to do with it. It has something to do about what we talked about last time, I wish you all the luck and I want you to know that I approve.* Sam smiled with his eyes glistening he understood what you meant. A few weeks before all of this, he introduced to his future girlfriend and asked for your opinion, now you were encouraging him to go on and ask her out . No one knew of this, except you. That was how close you got to Tom's family.

*Harry*, Harry didn't look up, he too had red eyes, he couldn't believe that his best friend was gone and he didn't know anything about it until the last minute. *You're precious, I hope that you know that* still not looking up, a sided smile appear on his face. * I aslo left you something, Harrison knows where it is. He'll give it to you. Just know that I trust in your talent, because you're a natural.* Finally Harry looked up with tears falling down his face. * I just want you both Sam and Harry to know that you were the brothers I never had.* That being said, Tom couldn't help it but think if things were different they would have been her future brothers-in-law by now.

*finally Harrison, I am sorry I asked you to do all of this, I'm sorry if I had burdened you in any way. It's just I know that you would be the only one who could handle this as they are probably sobbing in front of you right now. Besides you were the only one who knew of my condition other than Tom* Harrison smiled sadly as he took a shaky breath. * I now release you from your duties.* Harrison chuckled, as tears started falling down his face,too. *I just ask of you guys to stop grieving, I was just a chapter in your lives. It'll be hard, but please try for me. It will make me happy to know that you have moved on from this stage. Just don't forget me. love, Y/N *

(End of flashback)

Harrison shook the memory from his head as he focused on Tom again seeing him sitting in front of your grave.

"Sam was really surprised that you left him some of your jewelry to give to his girlfriend. He said that you left a note saying that if she's the one then he should give them to her. And Harry was over the moon when he knew that you got him the newest equipment for photography, and the phonecalls you made to get him an internship with the most famous photographers." Tom sighed. "You just keep on surprising me darling." Shaking his head, he was trying to prevent himself from breaking down again.

"I did everything you asked of me in that letter, the only thing I couldn't do was moving on...... You know that's selfish of you Y/N" tears now were making their way down his face. " You're the one who left. And you expect me to find someone else. You didn't think how this would make me feel. It's not that easy." He said as his voice started to raise as if he was having a fight with you. "If things were different, you would have been my fiancée by now. We would have been choosing the flowers for the wedding together, and the wedding cake." His voice broke as he was still crying. "I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself into, yet I couldn't help but imagine my future with you." He was devastated, how could she ask for such a thing? "You left, and I 'm the one hurting sweetheart. You can't just ask me to move on" He said it bitterly. The word coming out of his mouth as if it's a venom. " I can't do that, I'm sorry, but I just can't." He said calming down a little. "You're asking too much sweetheart."

Harrison made his way to Tom with his hands tucked inside the pockets of his leather jacket. "Come on Tom. That's enough for today." He can't stand and watch his friend like that. Tom was literally losing himself, he wasn't the Tom that Harrison once knew. He was afraid that his friend won't be able to find his way back.

Tom nodded as he got up. "I'll visit again darling, don't worry." Tom said as Harrison left to start the engine. Tom looked once again at your Tomb Stone before making his way to the car.

That's it. I just hope that you guys please tell me what you think. And for those who have lost a loved one, please stay strong.💙@jellybean-gg thanks for your comment, you're the only one who commented 😅, so here's part 2.