#i would @ you but im on my phone otl

[merakiui]

Mera Mera! Do you play/ have played obey me? If so who was your favorite (mine was beel<3) - >_<Anon

I have!! I played it when it released in 2019 and it had such a strong grip on me during the 2019 to 2020 era. My favorite was (and still is) Mammon. WAAAAA I LOVE HIM!!!!!! He means everything to me. He is everything I love in a man. The epitome of man one might say. OTL I will never forget the time when they released his bunny butler card with the animation. I wanted it so badly and didn't get it and I mourned this great loss. T^T I also liked Belphie quite a lot because the yandere potential was so extreme. Also, the fact that he killed us once. 🫣 I love an unstable demon who lies, manipulates, and kills. 😵‍💫 omg and then I would also wait (im)patiently for the new story chapters after I had read everything and diligently play every event,,,,, uuwaaa it was so fun!!!

But then I downloaded Genshin, which proceeded to break my phone. ;;; I lost all of my data in obey me when I got my new phone, so I had to start over with a new account. I only know the storyline up until the time when the MC returns to their world for the summer break, but I've heard a lot happens! I should revisit my account to play the story because I only ever logged on every now and then to check if any new Mammon cards were out hehe. :D

Aaaa and Beel!!!!!! He is such a good choice!!! A wonderful sweetheart!!! ( ≧ᗜ≦) you have immaculate taste, >_< anon!!!

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

hii larkk im sending you so many asks today hehehehe

so i wrote. janette from adele pov poem. and. its not my best work but its my best usage of a metaphor so far so !! improvement !!!!!! ehehehhe

disclaimer: this is my perception of adele based on what ive heard so uhh yeah sry if this isnt actually how she acts forgive me OTL

also warning for the reader being adele here. ahfkjlfd that feels like a warning i should make LMAO

---

Your first thought when you first saw her was that she looked fragile. Beautiful, oh certainly, but so brittle. Like stained glass. She could break if you smiled too hard at her, you thought. It was an idea you relished in. This pretty fragile thing.

You soon learned, though. She may be fragile, but like any piece of decorative glass, she’s been tempered, through fires of trials and difficulties. You learn, but you don’t change your mind. Perhaps you’ll just have to smile a little harder. Make her learn the truth.

You’ve never gone too far in your life. Limits are something you know, of course you do. You’ve never reached yours. You can make her reach hers. Tempered glass may have a high melting point, but you’ve always liked a nice little experiment, haven’t you? She’s just so much more than anything else you’ve ever seen.

You would never admit it if she’d won. You wouldn’t let her. She can burn in a fire hotter than any other that she and her damned church have been through. It will be such a pleasure to watch her finally melt.

You’re not even surprised anymore when she returns. You’re glad, even. At this point you don’t really know what you’d do without her. And though a part of you hates her at this point, you still smile when you see her again. She’s more fragile now. Even the most tempered glass can’t withstand heat too strong, even once reformed. No matter how pretty it is.

You wonder how easy it will be to break her this time.

(I HAD VIOLIN CLASS. SO I FINALLY GOT TO READ IT) LIMEEE. LIME. LIME WHEN. WHEN I GET YOU. HOLY SHIT.

AOUFHSGDHDSUSHU WHAT. OWAH. WOAHHHH.

THIS IS AMAZING??? YOU GOT HER IN ONE OH MAN. ADELEEEEE. LIME THIS IS SO GOOD. OH. I AM GOING TO BITE MY PHONE BRB/HJ WAGH I HAVE SCHOOLWORK TO DO BUT WOAH. WOAGH. HRJHDHDJ EATING THIS PUTTING THIS IN MY BRAIN CARVING IT IN THERE WOA/POS AUGHHH

may i. may i draw a small thing with some of this cuz wgagdhdjdhjdjdodjchxkdhksjs/POS!!!!!

[sugoi-writes]

FUCK. I WROTE PART NINE AND HAD IT ALL READY TO GO AND THEN MY KID GOT HER HANDS ON MY PHONE AND CLOSED THE APP. THANK LUCIFER I HAD THE FIRST HALF SAVED AS A DRAFT BUT STILL. OTL sending this separate because I was paranoid she'd do it again and I would have to write the second part a third time 😭 also realizing I forgot to put my sig at the bottom of Pt.9

..... Annnnd of course, after pressing send I remember that I forgot to rewrite the part where reader chokes Alastor when they cum. just shoot me holy motherfucking shit

At some point I'mma just make these into a full blown PWP fic. It seems like they get longer with each installment 🤣 (I'm sorry btw, I always feel kinda bad whenever I leave long messages in anyone's inbox 😫

AYEEEE WELL YA KNOW WHAT THEY SAY - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! 😘❤️‍🔥

It's a fitting pet name Hunny Pun! You're the queen of puns and you're so so SO sweet like a Honey Bun! is that icing or Alastor's jizz on you??? ... im so sorry i'll see myself out again 😭 CAN'T FIND AND KISS ME IF I FIND AND KISS YOU FIRST BABES~! ❤️❤️❤️

I can't hold on to my anonymity anymore guys so I'mma be making Pt.10 my reveal post~ it's killing me that I can't leave rabid fangirl messages on your works like you all do here for me! I really did wanna wait until I got the Smutmus Holy Trinity complete or at least in the revision stages but just- GAH! I NEED YALL TO KNOW HOW AMAZING I THINK YOU ARE. Beautiful beautiful minds, inside and out i can't even-!

Seriously though, I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to have met any of you! And there are no words in the English dictionary (or any at all really) that I could use to describe what I feel about how accepting and supportive you've been! I could NEVER thank yall enough for helping me to find the joy in writing again. I love all three of you so much and I'm honored to call you friends!! 🥺🥰💋

- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa

False Alarm for the Next Part!! And honestly, thank God, the vibe is still not charged HAH--

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I had a similar experience when writing my part 2 to my Nun! Alastor fic. Fun fact: had to re-write it 5 times because I kept forgetting to save it. ;;_;; hhhh my baby fever is so bad I'm crying, but man, KIDS! What a little stinker 🥹❤️

Also, my ask box is usually super empty? Like, you could LICK the floor with how neat and empty it is? I LOVE messages? Even better if they long like Alastor's girthy fucking co--

We--We were- when we??? ALASTOR GETS--??? MY HANDS AROUND HIS???

*Danny.Exe has experienced an Error*

*Rebooting*

OKAY IM BACK--

☄️❤️Anon... babycakes. At this rate I'm gonna do more than fucking kiss you. I think we're past that now. And if you keep calling me 'Hunny Pun', or similar pet names, I'm just gonna jump your bones--

Hug you!!!! I meant hug you!!!

It's Alastor's jizz. It's canon-- NO DONT LEAVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW I GOT IT ON MY FAAAAAAACE

GUYS CODE TREAT, CODE TREAT, THE ANON VEIL IS DROPPING!!! ITS DROPPING DHDHDJDHDJ-- You will never gain a mutual as fast as you will then I SWEAR

☄️❤️!!! Smut Santaaaaa! 🥹😭❤️ Your mind is a beautiful, smutty, enchanting place!!! Knowing that you've been religiously cranking this out, while also having a kiddo... Seriously, how do you do it??? If anyone deserves the praise rn, 🎵it's you??? It's you, ITS ALWAYS YOU!!🎵 ❤️❤️❤️

Don't push yourself too hard! Please? ❤️ I will treasure these rare, scrumptious little treats for as long as I have brain cells left ❤️ I will call you friend until you tell me to quit or I lose my voice for good. And even then, my lips will keep moving and repeating the same thing until I'm blue in the face. ❤️❤️❤️ you are such a sweet, sweet, soul, and I can feel your vibes, and they are so wholesome! I can't wait to meet the person or sexual fiend behind it all! I feel like I speak for us all, and not just the main 3, but EVERYONE: everyone who has read your posts love you to bits. And they love your work to bits. Best believe when you publish your first work, we'll be there. En masse. And we will be EAGERLY returning the love you surprised us with.

Thank you for all that you do. On this post in particular, you deserve a foot rub, a forehead kiss, and a hug that lifts and spins you off your feet! 💗💗💗

Have a blissful, best of days you can have, dear! You deserve it! 💗

[theprodigypenguin]

just wondering if you were ever going to continue im still here??? but otherwise i really enjoyed the fic and am planning to read all the rev!izo fics as well :]!!!

I honestly don't know OTL I'd like to, I had so much planned, but I made the mistake of splitting the fic up into two books (ISH and D&G) thinking it would somehow help me write. It did not, in fact it killed my motivation, and I regret it soooooo much. I wish I hadn't done that. Wish I hadn't deleted all the Rev!Izou chapters from ISH and just kept it all together.

I've debated returning all the chapters to ISH just to try and keep it consistent again but fuck, man.

Also I'm so upset cuz I had so many lovely comments in the beginning, and I screenshotted them so I wouldn't lose them. Then my phone broke and I had to get a new one, soooooo that fucked. I completely lost all the comments from the Rev!Izou chapters, which killed the motivation even more. I don't know what I want to do with it anymore so it's just been sitting there.....

[xiuminscheeks]

New episode so im back :DD

-I may be in love with Mr lee. I cant help it he has the shiniest wettest puppydog eyes of all time and the energy of a melancholy widow skhsks i would do anything he asks of me 🥺 hes still fucking terrifying and all powerful tho dont get me wrong (complimentary)

-I was gonna make a joke about yul at the table thinking 'kids these days always on their phones smh' but then he went on the sweetest protective rant over ms han T.T 

Edit; aksjsj poor all suffering yul giving the talk TWICE in one day to both parties,,, still its v cute of him

-Mr jins smug smile making coffee and listening to ms han lying her ass off is murdering me... the tangerine grab.... the school shenanigans... oh they are SOOOOO unsubtle i just know theyre immediately going to get caught

Wait tHE PINKY HAND HOLDING they are so freaking adorable

Also the dramatics of the curtain scene 💀 this show is endlessly goofy i cant deal

-Yul with the spirit banishment antics....where did that come from sksjk... but !!! Were getting to see more glimpses of the past 👀👀

-SKSJJS the sister falling for woo taek, i fucking knew itttt was coming!! And good! Hes been such a supportive and caring friend, 10/10 i approve of this matchup u.u

-I love that theyre all daring and clingy at school but as soon as they get some time alone theyre theeee most awkward fuckers on this planet, 5ft apart cos theyre NOT daTing definitely not

-love how mr lee just has the housecode and barges straight in like hey :) ive decided im gonna hang out here now and theres nothing you can do about it :D theres never a moment of peace in this show its just back to back misfortunes of awkwardness xD but its worth suffering through the second hand stress for that closet scene <333 sleepy kisses. Actually theres tongue in there nvm wow (did they fuck in the closet. I. we may never know.)

-MR LEEEEE DONT BE SAAAD AND THEN ACT EVIL ABOUT IT OTL i could fix his loneliness. sorry this is turning into me being obsessed w him but i mean. His deeply sad and sinister demeanour has enchanted me. AND HES BACK TO SCARY HES GOT A WHOLE ASS SWORD. I kindly request you dont murder the main characters theyre sooo important to me and they only just got to be happy T.T

-Also next weeks preview is making me insaaaane i knew those bracelets were nothing good >:( but every glimpse of the past we get to see i get more excited!!!!!!

Anyway AAAA i might have to start another show off your list to tide me over cos i cant keep waiting for new episodes with nothing in between 😔

- 🌱

HEY! I just logged in on desktrop and saw this. hopefully its not been long since you have sent it. the app sometimes doesnt show me all the notifications.

love everything you said cause I feel pretty much the same. the show is so good at balancing the comedy and the drama, its crazy.

Yul was definitely the mvp of the episode, despite the steamy closet scene the leads shared. he is just too adorable/

as for mr. Lee, yes, you (and I too) could fix him. I'm still convinced that whatever happened in the past was just a misunderstanding, and that no one is evil, and I cant wait till the truth reveals.

let me know what other show from my list you start! also, let me suggest to more that I started and are SO GOOD OMG. The story of park's marriage contact and My Demon. trust me, you wont regret it

[flyingcookierambles]

arrgh work has been horrible lately. like. just ughghg. ive been so drained and sad that i havent even been able to finish dragalia lost’s final chapter.....

:/// :(((

at least i did this tutorial. still waiting for the files to download. even if they dont technically run right now due to not having a server to connect to, maybe someone someday in the future will make a private server like how all those MMO nerds keep everquest alive and stuff so that we can play the game again. i know that its technically just 2 days now (counting down the hours to the last 24 :(( ) but like. i have 0 time im so sad abt it ugh.

anyways! tutorial on how to save your files and all the assets below! the video’s very helpful description also has the links to the guthubs and pythons and stuff you need to run the scripts to download.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyhRUaKV_G8

heres hoping my laptop can squeeze the eng/chinese/taiwan versions on to 20 gb, or ill break out my external hard drive or something idk.

ughhh.

i think that. im just kinda done with live service games right now. like gacha burnout + being burned by that korean kaledoscope gacha, a3! english, and now dragalia lost. like, i think i’ll still play genshin since its literally insane and seems like they’re really thinking of making it a long lived game like granblue or something and of course ffxiv which as an mmo, while still a “live service,” as an mmo i think that they are just. different? like gachas are sprinting to each and every banner, but the mmo model seems more like a light jog or marathon. of course there is some FOMO and time sensitive holiday events, etc., but mmos just seem different from gacha, especially f2p gacha. i think it may also just be that mmos as a genre/company model has more history than the more recent gacha anime gaming industry. so. like. yeah. i really do actually want to get back into other gacha that i put on hold for a3! eng and now dragalia. i really do want to see my best husbandos mammon and beel and satan in obey me, and i want to either give twst jpn a try for language learning purposes and/or finally install twst eng. and like. uhh. lol. nu carnival lol. and of course a3! jpn and enstars music of course. hahhahahaha new carnival what is that

but like all jokes aside i seriously just cant. you would think that since they’re phone apps and all i can just download them and go esp since i always have my phone with me but like. i cant bring myself to do it. ghuaoghg i feel like this is my phone being kinda old, the battery gets killed when i open games, the building i work in has no wifi and my cellular data is high enough, and work draining my energy to do anything but play genshin for 30-45 minutes in a mindless hack n slash grind for dailies and primos for saramouche and then maybe doing the custom delivery of the week in ffxiv and then going to bed. like thats it. i wake up at 6 am i go to work til 4 pm i travel home and shower i get tired i crawl into bed bc my room is cold i either read fanfic/watch youtube or i fall asleep until 10 pm and accidentally skip dinner and then i go to bed and wake up and the cycle just repeats for 7 days a week for 45+ hours a week. ughghurghru having 2 jobs was a mistake FML OTL...

[gothamcityneedsme]

hhhh how neat would it be if p5r were to be like smtiv apocalypse where ponytail girl is the nanashi to the original protagonist’s flynn and and the story kind of spins off from a canonical plot point and evolves into something completely different?

Honestly thats so much more interesting than the stupid theory people are having about her as a possible femMc.  I personally would really love if Atlus did that again, its part of why i like smtiv so much. I like how Smtiv and Smtiva stand on their own but also together, how they add to each other and interact. I love when Atlus does sequels because they really do make them like, actually important and interact with the previous game too. 

(Like smtiv/smtiva and p2is/p2ep, desu2 septemtrione/desu2 triangulum, etc).  I would be all about that though. 

I do doubt it tho, since she had a voice in the trailer and protagonists dont have those so early in most games. Itd be so cool though, it would be an option to fix a lot of what issues persona 5 has too since they could go in and alter the timeline from another perspective with more characters adding to the plot or w/e 

[r0-boat]

So my computer blue screened today, and now my audio is busted. All the drivers wont work, even if i uninstall them and update them, it wont work. Now i gotta reset the whole computer after moving all my files to a cloud OTL Oh well. ANYWAY the anon that brought up security breach and Ingo and Emmet being animatronics reminds me of back in the day, when people would make Reader Insert Aus of their favorite show or game where the main characters were animatronics for something like the pizzaria or mall like in security breach, and the Reader would always be the security guard. Either they get wooed or have to survive, and then get wooed, or just get trapped askjfkajfdljf Talk about a flash from the past. Ai Ingo and Emmet though 👀 -Dom!Reader Anon

Ohno

y'all remember that 2p Hetalia one on Quotev?

Also like imagine worlds in the future where a eyes are so, you can purchase one from like a company or whatever

And some totally not sketchy ;;) companies offers you one for a low price and it's the AI of a favorite character you love. Of course you trust companies completely because why would they ever lie and purchase your AI.

Your AI is really great very advanced hes little odd but he's everything you wanted in a friend. But then you're a i starts downloading patches from the company and loading information from the internet without your knowledge.

The first patch was completely fine you Ai has more human and complex feelings ( you're happy with that because normally you would have to pay a pretty penny for something like that)

But then you recently find out that another patch has downloaded called "Y.Lover" an odd little file but it wasn't too big so you paid no mind to it.

But after that slowly but surely your AI companion start becoming more odd. Denying your commands, locking your bank accounts without your permission, tempering and connecting to your phone, protesting and arguing when you want to have company over, ordering packages from the company you purchased it from without your knowledge.

Finally you've had enough you wanted to turn it off and send it back to the company when you reach for its back panel he grabs your hand and forces you to the bed. " no so fast... were you trying to turn me off really after everything we've done together...my dear... Im hurt" he says his voice occasionally glitching.

" it's because I'm not human is it... you're so cold to me I thought you loved me like I loved you... I could be better than any other human lover ill prove it to you. oh~ I've waited so long for this... is this what arousal feels like?"

[imaloserbbyxoxo]

Dabi as a dad. That's it. That's the post.

please keep in mind i suck at writing so im sorry if this his terrible i'm just trying to make myself feel better

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It was late at night. Dabi wasn't sure what time it was, but he could only assume it was around two in the morning. He was unbelievably exhausted and worn out. So much work had to be done lately for the league and Shikaraki was running him ragged from all the orders and tasks he was assigned.

So much work had to be done, that he hadn't been able to sleep for the past day and a half. His body was starting to shut down, but he knew he had to keep on until the jobs were completed.

People in the league were the only ones that knew this secret Dabi had. He had a whole other life ever since three years ago. He had become a father. He never knew it would happen, he never even planned it. Honestly? He never really wanted to be a father, but ever since she was born, he was in love. A beautiful baby girl. Who would have ever thought? A son, maybe. But a girl? Whoa. That's a whole knew level.

Dabi and Y/N had been together for 2 years before the birth of their daughter. He really did love Y/N, but for some reason unknown to him, having a little girl made the love go even deeper. He never imagined he could love anyone, much less Y/N. His whole world was steadily changing around him, and he was doing all he could to cope with it.

The one thing hard about everything going on, was he had to be away from home. Away from his girls. Y/N knew he was in the league and everything that was going on in his life. She knew when they got together. She didn't mind it, really. Just as long as Dabi was safe. But she knew he would be. He was a really tough and tedious guy. He was constantly careful, no matter how big or how small the task.

But Dabi couldn't' help but stress about the girls at home by themselves. He had become so protective over them the past few years, and hated that they had to be alone most of the time. Nothing made him more relaxed than hearing their voices and laughs. It melted him, in a good way.

----

After walking down this street Dabi found himself on, he cut down an alley. Once he walked down it a few feet, he leaned his back against the cold, stone wall of a building, and slid down it until he collapsed on the ground. Automatically, his eyes started to feel heavy. He needed to rest so bad. Maybe just a few minutes wouldn't hurt. Leaning his head back against the wall, he slowly started to drift away into sleep.

Time had passed and he hadn't moved. It only felt like a few minutes, but apparently it was about an hour of him napping. He was awoken by a tune on his phone. Normally, he would have ignored it, but this particular tune was set to only Y/N's contact, so he quickly pulled it out of his pocket.

Before answering, he glanced at the time. Four in the morning. What was she doing up? Dabi's heart started to race. He couldn't help but think that something was wrong. He hastily answered.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"...daddy?"

"Yes, baby? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I had a bad dream."

Dabi hadn't noticed, but his muscles were tense. Once he heard the words 'bad dream', he softened. Everything was okay. He knew it was, because even though it's unfortunate, nightmares were almost a daily occurrence with his daughter. From the trauma of his childhood, Dabi had aquired nightmares and night terrors of his own. Unfortunetly, his daughter picked up that trait. On a positive note, he knew how to deal with them more than Y/N did, so whenever this happened, he was the one to go to. Thank goodness the kid hadn't had any actual night terrors. Yet. Just bad dreams.

Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them, he tiredly smiled and spoke. "You had a bad dream, huh?"

"Yeah. It was about you this time."

Dabi's smile faded. Most of the girl's nightmares where just simple things that kids fear, but the ones about him and Y/N were becoming more and more frequent. It was becoming concerning, but he just had to shrug it off. For her. He was still knew to this whole father thing, but one thing he did know was that you shouldn't' show worry in front of a kid, or they will start to worry. So he did just that. He blew off the worry in his mind for now and just had to focus on the kid.

"About me, huh?"

"Yeah! You had died in it."

"Is that why you're calling? Where you scared?"

"A little."

Y/N shouted from the background. "Don't let her lie! She woke up crying."

Dabi scoffed and smiled. "My poor kiddo..." he thought.

"You? Scared? I thought you weren't scared of anything, just like your daddy."

"I wasn't scawed! I am just like you daddy! Big and strong!"

His heart melted in a mix of good and bad feelings. He hoped she would grow up strong willed like him, but...not how he truly was deep down. All the trauma, all the pent up anger, all the troubles he has caused.

"Be strong like me, but kind like your mother."

"Okay daddy. I will!"

"Okay, baby. Can you hand the phone to mommy, please? I love you. Go back to bed and don't be scared. I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Okay daddy! I wub you!"

Dabi smiled. "Love you too, kiddo. Good night."

"Night daddy."

Shuffling noises were heard on the other end of the line. A different voice came on.

"I'm sorry to bother you while your working, babe. She wanted to talk to you and wouldn't take no as an answer."

"It's alright, doll. I wasn't busy right now anyways."

"Are you doing okay? Staying safe?"

"Yes, of course. You know that."

After a few more minutes of talking, Y/N said her goodbyes. She had to put the girl to sleep now and try to get some rest herself. Dabi said his goodbyes in return, saying I love you, and hung up his phone. He stood up from his resting position, and gathered up the strength to continue his work.

"Alright, back at it I suppose."

He lazily walked out of the alley

and back around the corner. He was met by a familiar face.

His boss, Shigaraki. His silver hair was long, down to the base of his neck, and he was wearing his trademark coat. They all had been working so much lately, that they didn't have the time to take care of themselves. Shigaraki specifically. His scratch marks were getting worse from his scratching due to stress. His hair was getting to long, because he didn't have the time to take care of it. Dabi knew better than to say anything though. Shigaraki had been on edge lately, and probably wouldn't hesitate to take care of Dabi's attitude in his own way.

"What are you doing here, dusty?"

Shigaraki scratched his neck a little, looking up at Dabi. "I followed you to make sure you were doing your tasks. You were the last stop before going back to the base. I've already checked on everyone else."

"Save the best for last, huh?"

"Whatever, patchwork. I couldn't help but over hear your conversation."

Dabi looked at him with tired eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"Do you miss them?"

"Well, duh. Of course I do." He changed his tune to a sarcastic one. "But you have to have these missions done, right?" It might have been the exhaustion talking, but damnit Dabi just wanted to go home. He missed his bed. The way the house smelled like candles because Y/N had an obsession with them. The way his little girl would run to him when he would walk in the door. He missed cuddling both of them in bed, as his daughter would drift to sleep watching tv. He missed it so much, he couldn't put it into words. He wanted to go home more than anything right now. But work had to be done.

As Dabi was in thought, his face contorted into distraught and exhaustion, and Shigaraki noticed. Maybe it was something in the weather this early morning, but he actually got a kind bone in his body.

"Go home, Dabi."

Dabi looked at him in shock. "But I'm not done-"

"I'm not gonna tell you again. Go home. I can tell your getting exhausted, and I don't need you passing out on me. I need you at your full potential. So go home and rest. Take as much time as you need." Shigaraki started to walk away. "I know you'll be back when your done resting so I'm not worried."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Again, I am so sorry if this is bad. Also, I'm sorry for that ending. it's kinda shit, but I'm kinda afraid of writing more because I might ruin it. Anyways.... OTL;

@dabiboy @deviousspleen @toyas-wife

<3 IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED JUST LET ME KNOW <3

[tartagliaxx]

hi lei!! :> what did you do today? i planned to decorate my teapot but i realized the amount it could hold was lower compared to the videos i watched and doing a phone cleanup is too much work so i ended up just doing nothing i'll do it eventually,,,,,but i wanna know which realm style you liked the best after looking through all of them i realized the sunset one is kinda boring in comparison and that i liked the other ones much better i think i'll start with the beach one first after knowing that kaeya likes summer and the beach how could i not but i kinda wish they had a winter option like dragonspine but no sheer cold and more homey in my opinion winter is the most romantic season

also recently i've been thinking about how albedo smells it sounds creepy when i say it like that OTL i don't mean it in like ahaha i wanna smell him while he sleeps more like i wanna back hug him and inhale him i feel like he would smell like campfires and vanilla i think he probably smells the best cause hes not out in the field childe probably smells like sweat and blood but when hes clean i like to imagine the leftover smell after baking cookies i'm not entirely sure with kaeya maybe something fresh like mint?

i've been meaning to ask how do you feel about leaks now? the banner for 1.7 was leaked and there's this npc i really wanna show you too :3-🍰

i am currently rewatching jjk and once again, i am a questionable man’s whore 😌✌️ literally remade my phone to become his altar just because—

ehem anyway, i liked the one w the mountains and waterfalls the best. everything there seems to be more accessible plus i love just climbing up and overseeing everything i have made. the abode one (my first choice) is nice and all but i prefer a place w nighttime just bc i like seeing lights.

a winter themed realm sounds so good!!! if they ever make one i sure as hell would make the most comfy cabin for childe. i just know that he would love it there 🥺

dw i completely understand!! whenever i try to write something intimate, i add the idea of inhaling someone else’s scent but! i keep on rewording it bc it lowkey sounds weird. you see it a lot in fiction though and i find that scent actually adds character. like for example, a person who spends so much time in bookshops and libraries will smell faintly of freshly bound books or smth like that. personally, i feel like albedo would smell more earthy? with faint scents of burnt paper and wax while childe would smell like axe body spray some faded calvin klein-esque perfume and fresh cash (if yknow what im saying 😎). kaeya hmm... i think he’ll smell like dior w faint hints of peppermint and magazine pages. i have zero reason why. i just awooga those things through.

my opinion abt leaks are the same. i wouldnt go out of my way to stay updated/consume it since i’d like to live in the moment but i’m not entirely opposed to hearing a close friend rant about it UNLESS it’s like lore related.

[t0sshii]

ginhiji hospital au??

I needed to get this off of my brain and I can’t draw or write so here it goes... Ginhiji but Hijikata is a nurse working in a hospital and Gintoki is the new resident who comes off as lazy but is actually a really good doctor (which surprises our boy Toushi)

More thoughts under the cut? (I have more thoughts about hijikata because.... i have more experience there LOL)

I’ve been a working nurse for more than half a year now so I kind of know what I’m talking about? (but not really because i’m definitely still a baby nurse that’s still learning OTL) but really im a baby don’t ask me specifics

I got into Gintama super late and I have so many regrets because it’s taken over my life. 

hijikata working in either medsurg, ICU, or emergency because it’s not slow, needs great time management skills and working under pressure /but i have a bias for medsurg because that’s where i am right now... but i feel like he would definitely be the same kind of intense that some ICU nurses i know are... 

he’s definitely the type to not take a proper break at work... would probably eat saltines from the nutrition room 

reason 1: he’s too busy

reason 2: hates to go on break if he has to leave hella shit for the person covering him (so he give all his meds, clean his patients, give pain meds...make sure they NEVER call the person covering him on break) but that also means when things don’t calm down he feels like there’s never an opening for one

meanwhile he will give meds, clean patients, and do everything for whoever he covers for break 

when this happens kondo sends yamazaki to cover him for breaks because you can’t tell patients to eat their food when you haven’t eaten toushi 

is really good at putting in IVs, nobody on the unit even tries to put them in when he’s working they’ll just ask him to do it for them

a charting superuser lol

his brain... impeccable. a work of art. a pinnacle of organization. made his own because the hospital issued one doesn’t work for him

probably looks something like this

note: allows you do just quickly circle things during shift change instead of writing it all down...i would probably make past medical history section bigger though (do i use a sheet like this? no because i am... organized chaos and writing it down helps ME--but toushi probably wants to take as little time possible writing shit down) 

reads his work e-mail, even the newsletters from the hospital

kondo is nurse manager and is a very supportive one (the potlucks!!! tries his best to make sure everyone feels supported at work ; w ;) hired hijikata..

when hijikata is charge, the work is distributed evenly thank god 

also “it’s an hour until shift change and if this patient doesn’t come up in 10 minutes they’re not coming until after shift change” 

everyone asks him for help because he knows all the hospital policies

what nurse isn’t frustrated with doctors lets be real 

exhibit A: “my patient is in TEARS with 10/10 pain and the doctors have the audacity to ask if THEY TRIED TO DISTRACT THEMSELVES WITH ART?” (this is a literal conversation I’ve had with a resident before) 

hates talking to interns because he ends up having to teach them how to do their job 

hates talking to jaded attendings

only attending he likes is shouyo

used to have long hair in nursing school but cut it after his ponytail got into some shit during a bed bath 

still smokes.. kondo hates it because we’ve all seen what it’s done to our patients and you still smoke?

has tried to quit but never works out

gintoki also gets on his case about it

just imagine hijikata in those black figs joggers scrubs UGH 

in this universe they’re called digs because copyright and this is still gintama we’re talking about

these scrubs are unnecessarily expensive so he didn’t actually buy them himself ( “why the fuck would i buy expensive scrubs if i am going to get literal shit on it”).. if left to his own devices he will wear those ugly ass hospital issued scrubs

Kondo and his other friends split the price for the black joggers and a 3 pocket scrub top -- because we all know hijikata puts ALL his supplies in his pockets. he NEEDS pockets

Gintoki thinks his ass looks good in those joggers UGH 

Hijikata won’t admit it but the digs are his favorite pair they are so comfortable. still won’t buy them with his own money though

student nurses are scared of him because he’s intense and asks hard questions, really strict... doesn’t bully but pushes students and orientees really hard

but also any one who can survive being trained by him becomes an excellent nurse

that nurse that’s on top of their shit and THINKS instead of just following orders

“saw his potassium is high. can we do something about that?”

“there wasn’t continuous oxygen monitoring ordered but i put them on because it doesn’t look good. can we get an order for that” 

all the doctors trust him because he’s just so goOD

gets on gintoki’s case about looking like a bum at the hospital all the time

if he EVER catches wind of doctors talking down to his nurses or older nurses bullying the newer ones (which never really happens because kondo is a great manager who fosters a very nontoxic work culture) they will...FEEL. HIS. WRATH. 

also will not tolerate patients treating him (or his coworkers) like shit. will be more professional dealing with patients tho than with the MDs. but if it’s an MD berating a nurse, they better be ready to get their ass KICKED

Gintoki is the new resident along with katsura and takasugi in.... internal medicine? surgery? idk? 

i mostly just wanted write this one: hijikata has a patient in a pain crisis 10/10 pain, given all available pain meds, tried everything possible but still no relief. paged the new resident working with this patient 

hijikata fully expects either a call saying “sorry i can’t order any more pain medicine for this patient” or just another IV medicine ordered with no communication at all 

but gintoki comes into the patient’s room (first thing hijikata notices is unprofessional hair, wrinkled jacket, mismatching socks and thinks this doctor is going to be lazy AF), speaks to the patient with great bedside manner, talks to the patient about pain management strategies and WORKS WITH THEM for a better plan for medication. walks with the patient in the hall and even takes them to the bathroom 

hijikata is FLOORED. because this never happens with MDs.

(this has actually happened and me and all my coworkers were SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED)

hijikata once sent gintoki a message asking if he wanted to lower the dose for a medication because the lab for it was high 

gintoki thought he was the pharmacist because hijikata is just that good

likes the sound of hijikata’s voice on the phone so he always returns his pages even if it’s just to say “ok i’ll put the order in” 

secretly gets excited when he sees hijikata’s name on the chart under the care team 

one because he’s hot

two because he’s a good nurse

actually learns a lot from hijikata

gets to know hijikata’s bad break habits and gives him a coffee whenever he notices he’s working (but is absolutely disgusted when he brings out the mayonnaise)

“how can you tell your patients to be healthy when you put that shit in everything you eat?” 

hijikata counters with “you can’t tell me what to eat when you’re on your way to diabetes asshole” 

tries to be the kind of MD shouyo is 

being in healthcare is hard so the two of them do drink together if their days off line up to vent....

hijikata complains about dumb MDs (gintoki makes mental notes on how to not be an annoying MD), how busy his days are, and why are we always understaffed... how can we run out of IVs? 

gintoki complains about all the calls he gets, how stressful residency is, why are rounds so early, that midget takasugi, the long ass working hours, being on call fuckin sucks

both bond over sharing crazy stories about patients or how their day went....also hospital complaints because what healthcare worker doesn’t complain about their hospital 

get into “who’s job is more stressful” arguments a lot

on particularly hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) days the other would show up with a bag of food and drinks? 

when the two start dating, it’s usually just... hanging out at work? 

if somehow by some miracle, they get their breaks together (if at all) they eat together

if they do have days off together they usually spend it sleeping (literally you guys) or relaxing at one of their apartments

sleep deprived healthcare workers lead to many....petty...arguments but they make up by the end 

it’s late and i have more thoughts? but i have work tomorrow. but i needed to get this OUT OF MY BRAIN.

also feel free to message me about any of this!! :) asks are always open hehe

[aethernoise]

IM ALSO FLAMING ELMO GIF @ ALYX AND AYMERIC SO 4, 22, 25, 30, 33 AAAAAAND 39

thank you... so much... for the food. I offer you food in return. mostly under the cut because of flaming elmo gif but with heart eyes,

4. how did they start living together? do they move? how do they choose the place?

Alyx had been living in and out of Borel Manor for years. Early on she would have definitely described herself more as a frequent guest--she was indeed always coming and going, but it didn’t take long for it to start feeling like actual home and not just her friend and lover’s house. 

The level of commitment to the space as a home -- even a temporary one -- was super gradual. If you want to put it in modern terms, she’s had a toothbrush there for a long time, but didn’t leave more than the occasional “forgotten” article of clothing until Aymeric flat out told her she could keep her things there (the only way I can describe her reaction to that suggestion is crying pikachu face).

Lately.....she is working on the unfathomable concept of it being her house, like officially, legally* and wow. It’s a lot. She’s happy and excited and a little overwhelmed. Aymeric is thrilled while remaining grounded by the fact that she isn’t changing her life for him. She still can’t be there all the time, but even when she’s away it’s their place now.

22. who answers the phone?

If the other is calling? Both of them, there’s no way either want to miss a chance to talk.

25. who does the groceries? 

I am still no closer to a real answer for this than my shitposting earlier

30. what does their closet(s) look like?

Join me, for a moment, and indulge in a complete lack of regard for realistic Ishgardian interior design and imagine a gorgeous walk-in closet that used to have a lot more room in it than it does now. Black, gray, and jewel tones everywhere. One side noticeably more blue than the other. A surprisingly equal number of pairs of shoes. It’s not pristine, but it’s not messy either. Alyx has an enormous collection of fancy loungewear and underthings--anything made of silk is probably hung up, otherwise it’s drawers full of stockings and garters and lacy whatnots. 

33. how do they refer to the other in public? how do other people refer to the other? (i.e. “my partner”, “ask your father”, "dad and papa", "how’s your wife?“, etc)

It depends on the setting but honestly? "My dear friend.”

Others pretty much refer to them the same way we’re presented in game. Alyx has been called some awful things (and still is because haters gonna hate) but she’s well enough liked among those who know who she is. People probably dance awkwardly around defining them as a couple or what one is to the other, and they’ve played into that for a long time because of the Scandal of it all. I’ve had a WIP about this very thing stewing for almost a year OTL

39. how do they spend christmas and new year’s (or equivalent family gatherings)?

Alyx is really into Starlight and has always been thankful that for the last few years it has not coincided directly with any pressing crisis that would keep her from spending it with Aymeric. “Family gatherings” would either involve House Fortemps or the Scions (and hopefully soon BOTH) and are less often associated with major holidays, moreso “when we can all actually get together to celebrate something with more than a day’s notice.” They need to party more, they deserve it.

*no, I’m not going to go there with how property ownership works when “marrying up” in Ishgard because frankly I Haven’t A Care for it

[someobscurereference]

im hoping i dont sound super rude here but why do you like modern au fics so much? i typically prefer canon settings, or if the setting of a work is in our world, for there to be some fantastical element to it - something like your modern trio au. i know a lot of people like modern aus but to me theyve always seemed kind of boring in comparison.

As a reader, I don’t necessarily love Modern AUs more than any other AUs, I think! (Although there are a lot of subsets within the genre of Modern AU that I am partial or not so partial to that exist as well. For example, Coffee Shop AU or High School AU? Meh. Don’t care very much. Soulmate AU that takes place in a modern setting? Oh, let’s go!) Fantasy and horror are my favorite genres, so I also agree that I love reading fics where there is a “fantastical element” to it. (Like, the reason I love Modern Trio Living In Nohr AU is because I get to let the Trio react to all the wacky magical FE stuff exactly the way I, a modern woman living in the year 2020, would react, and that’s fun to me). 

As a writer, things are a bit trickier. Modern AUs make things easier on me in a lot of ways because I don’t have to worry about writing dialogue a certain way all the time. (For example, I don’t think there’s a huge difference between the way FE Fates characters talk and the way modern characters would talk--at least not compared to other fandoms that might have to talk in Ye Old English, I think--but when it’s not a comedy, I make an effort to make Canon Dialogue sound a little more formal and in-line with what I think the game dialogue sounds like. Canon Retainer Laslow talking to Xander The Crown Prince would sound and act different than Laslow The Regular Guy who works at a dance studio and ran into Xander, The CEO Dude But Not Literal Royalty he’s getting to gradually know. There’s less barriers there, although perhaps some new barriers that would be neat to think about too. When I write canon and have to keep canon events/dialogue style/dynamics in line, it takes a bit more effort on my part. Which is not too much extra effort and it can be really rewarding to explore those things, but a lot of my unfinished fic has ended up being canon setting stuff because fic plot in general can already be tricky, especially if I’m trying to balance that other stuff on top of it. When I write non-canon compliant stuff, there’s not as much pressure to be. Well. Canon compliant!) 

(Also. Big confession here. I love Owain/Odin. He’s my absolute fave. But!! I hate writing his dialogue so much because it’s often so off the wall and dramatic, and I feel I often pale in comparison to his canon dialogue. Like, the reader can tell I’m trying too hard, and I can always tell it isn’t exactly correct. So I often use any excuse to get out of doing it. But that’s such a big part of his character! I can’t just avoid it! I’m lucky because whenever canon setting Leo is in a scene, I can use the excuse that he makes Odin talk “normally” with him. With a modern world, I get a little more leeway with that, and I use that excuse every chance I get.)

tl;dr When I change the canon setting to a modern setting, I get to tweak behavior and dialogue so they’re easier on myself as the modern person writing it. (Also, excuses like cars or phones come in handy a lot.)

Additionally! It’s not that I love writing Modern AU as a default. But!! A lot of tropes I really enjoy fit into a Modern AU setting easier than canon setting for me. 

For example: Reincarnation AU! I’ve written a few of those and enjoy them greatly. While a Reincarnation AU could absolutely happen in a canon setting--say, 20 or even 100 years post-canon--I feel like I would have to account for a bunch of gradual changes that happen over time, in that case. What does Nohr look like in 20 years? 50 years? 100 years? What does Hoshido look like? How has technology changed? Who is in charge? What do inter-kingdom relations look like? Do people remember the war as it actually happened still? Why would Trio be reincarnated in Nohr instead of Ylisse? Why would Nohr native characters have been reincarnated in Ylisse vs Nohr? I think these questions would be fascinating to answer! But I’m also... very lazy sometimes, OTL. And sometimes I feel uncreative and unsatisfied with my own explanations/justifications for things. If I want to write Reincarnation AU, it’s just way easier on me as the writer to make it a modern setting, even if I’m missing out on other interesting concepts I could be exploring as well. This holds true for other tropes I like to write as well.

tl;dr2: As a reader, I like to read a variety! As a writer, it’s often easier on me to write a modern setting rather than a canon one. I like writing canon stuff a lot too, but I feel like I often have to juggle a little more with them, and that’s why most of my unfinished work is in canon settings.

If you’re not a fan of modern AUs, however, there’s nothing wrong with that! It’s just not your cup of tea.

I hope that makes sense! :D

[theprettysetterclub]

heyyy can I request a matchup?? :)) im 5'1 with shoulder length black hair and really into vintage fashion paired with basics!!! im a panromantic demisexual, aquarius & intp, who is more of an ambivert tbh, how extroverted/introverted I am depends on my mood/company! usually am pretty happy-go-lucky, excitable and I make friends easily!! im chill most of the times and i prefer to avoid confrontation but i can and will call ppl out on their bs (if needed) - hq!! ask anon (from imagines blog)

  also i LOVE cold/dad jokes and bad pickup lines hahah i laugh easily but bonus points if the person is super awkward or deadpan about it! my interests include fashion, movies, reading, and comics - i usually spend time searching for cute vintage clothes, discussing movies/books/anime or just spending time doing activities (usually cooking/baking!) with my friends and family!! - hq!! ask anon

im really affectionate so its important for me to spend time with my loved ones to receive and in turn, give affection to them - usually in the from physical touch or quality time spent together!! im so glad that your matchups are open cos i love your haikyuu imagines and the amount of thought yall put into the matchups is just mindblowing tbh!!! hehe thank you in advance and im looking forward to the results 🥰🧡 - hq!! ask anon PS. so sorry it turned out so long idek how it happened OTL

HQ ASK ANON!! you’re a little ball of sunshine alkjfd how are you so cute,,, no choice i have adopted you now dskljfd also xNTP club represent! 

also i wrote this in an inspired flurry while procrastinating my history essay due next week so i hope it’s legible kdfjl

i had a hard time narrowing it down but!! i match you with… 

bokuto koutarou!

✧ that is him trying to impress you honestly i love this dumbass so much and every time he’s on screen you just know you’re in for a good time,,, and i think he’d absolutely adore you! also he loves how much shorter than him you are, he enjoys hugging you from behind because of it sdlkj

✧ i think you match his energy quite well, while still balancing him out! he needs someone who can keep up with him, while also bringing him back down to earth. he definitely brings out your extroverted side, but the fact you can be a bit more lowkey sometimes is a good thing for him; he needs to take a break from being at 100% all the damn time sdlkj 

✧ cutest! happiest! brightest couple! honestly, you two would be so adorable,,, just sunshine incarnate. you can’t help but feel happy in each other’s company, and it’s kind of infectious? you guys can be quite loud, but people enjoy being around you two because you bring love and light wherever you go,,, bless 

✧ but you can call him out on his bs when you need to, because oh boy, does he need it sometimes,,, you and akaashi (who adores you, btw) tag team it. you’re sort of like a ‘bokuto’s personal development team’ because you spend a lot of time trying to help him with his slumps. needless to say the results are very hit-or-miss 

✧ good thing you laugh easily because he’s just,,, so funny without even trying. and when he makes you laugh, his heart feels so full and ready to burst and he’s so proud of himself for achieving something so important and-- he’s just very wholesome like that kjlkj 

✧ listen. make the boy some lunch for practice and he’ll cry. absolutely shows off the bento box you made with him last night to all the black jackals. h e l p t h e m -- he won’t shut up about you ever and they’re s u f f e r i n g. they absolutely know far too much about you to the point that it’s kind of embarrassing. but, they beg you to come to their games because bokuto works just that little bit harder when you’re in the stands because he just wants to impress you so bad--  

✧ i think he’s also super physically affectionate, so your love languages line up! he’s honestly kind of clingy, so good luck with walking around at all when you’re alone because you’ll have all 6′3″ of him wrapped around your waist at all times,, also, he genuinely tries to spend as much of his free time with you as possible! once he finds out how much that means to you, he literally writes it down in his phone so he’ll never forget it sdlkdjf he does that with everything important you mention to him! he’s that determined to be a Good Boyfriend, bless his heart,,, 

✧ his favourite thing to do is spend time with you, tbh,,, whether it’s being stupid while watching a movie and discussing it (he’s trying, even if things fly over his head sometimes), being your hype guy whenever you’re trying out a new outfit combination, trying his best to cook with you (you know that bento box i mentioned? the plan was for you two to make it together, but he managed to fuck up the sauce by making it way to sweet. so, the duty was handed over to you while he sulked with his head buried in your shoulder)

✧ you two are,,, so cute,,, my heart can’t handle it,,, you two would just be so loving and giving and you’d have the most wonderful time together? i love this couple so much give him a gentle kiss on the forehead for me 

other matches!

✧ sugawara koushi: goblin angel boy,,, i love him,,, he’s a little smarter than bokuto, so i think you’d have a lot of fun discussing media together! he’s very perceptive and analytical, so he always has something interesting to say? otherwise, i think he’d also love your bright personality? he’s not called mr. refreshing for nothing, and i think you’d get along so well. he’s more lowkey than bokuto, so you’d have a lot more quiet time together; he’s good at managing his time so he’s always finding space in his day to cuddle with you (he’s also very affectionate!). i think he’d also make you laugh a lot; he’s not quite awkward or deadpan, but he can be a little dry? expect him to make a lot of witty little comments just to hear you laugh,,, UGH you’d just be so cute please shower him with love,,, also he loves that you’re so much shorter than him lmao idk why there’s so many question marks in this paragraph BUT–

✧ yachi hitoka: MY GIRL,,, first of all, you’re so tiny? like? that’s so cute oh my goodness? ANYWAY, i think she’d really enjoy being around someone like you? you’re easy to be friends with, as well as excitable and fun to be around. but, it’s not quite like with hinata (where being in his presence feels like staring directly into the sun, bless him). she really enjoys your happy-go-lucky personality, and it’s a balance to her anxious rambling. i think she’d also appreciate the fact that you’re able to call her out every now and then, because it might help break her out of an anxious spiral or two. she’s so easy to make blush tbh – all you gotta do is hold her hand and she’s bright red. also baking together,,, cuddling up on the couch together while you watch a movie (yes, her face is still red),,, my heart cannot physically handle the amount of sheer wholesomeness this couple exudes and i’ve got to stop rambling before i lose all sense of coherency slkj

[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt1

A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3

Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.

***

At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.

The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.

Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.

Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.

Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…

*****

He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.  

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.

"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"

"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"

"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"

"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."

"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.

"What was that?"

"I'm studying!"

When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.

He could wait for that long.

Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.  

He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.

A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.

As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.

Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.

He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?

He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.

[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite

He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.

"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.

"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.

[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.

***

Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.

[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.

He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.

[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?

His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.

[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.

He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.

[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.

He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.

[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.

He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.

Like countless times before.

He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.

“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.

“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.

“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”

Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."

His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.

"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."

He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.

"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"

"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.

He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.

He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.

[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.

At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.

When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.

"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.

'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'

She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.

'I'll read this next'

When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.

There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.

[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.

***

"She's not here today."

Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.

"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.

"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?"

Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.

"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."

Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.

'Sign language for beginners'

He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.

Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.

At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.

***

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~!