#i woulda loved to read that fr

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ THE GRANDEST GAME

["Riddles are for people who enjoy playing,” .... “Do you consider yourself playful, Mr. Hawthorne?”]

| ✮ 4 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!] this is very long guys sorry

ok so *cracks knuckles* lets talk about tgg

!!warning i'm finishing this like four days after i read tgg so i might've forgotten things because reading until 2am and remembering what i read is apparently a hard thing for me to do!!

first of all.... JLB, you and i need to have a chat because that ending was not okay. you literally just left us with no answers. seriously. what the hell????? and while i wanna kick my feet and scream because we got two kisses and then you had to go ahead and ruin it in the span of two or three pages and give us that shitty ending.

i would like to point out one question i had through out the book, which was why was grayson playing? what was the point of that???? like seriously was there an actual need for him to play or was it just jameson, avery, xander and nash fucking with him? whatever it was it didn't make sense and just felt like jlb was trying to shove lyra and grayson into forced proximity so they could interact.

speaking of thatttt i love graysonlyra and rohansav (more thoughts on sav later) the banter the looks the touches the everything i love it sm omg AND AVERYJAMESON!!!!!!! THE CRUMBS WE WERE GETTING MADE ME SO HAPPY OMG!!! I CAN DIE HAPPY!!

i will say i feel jlb really did pull out all the stops for this book the different levels of everyone's connection and knowledge of how to solve the riddles/puzzles (i was literally CLUELESS) like how does one make all that connect. the level of detail was insane connecting books and characters together just weaving some kind of intricate web of characters.

and at first i did feel like the game felt really short but i think that was just my 2am dumbass brain forgetting this is only the first part of the game lol. i did kinda hope there would be more like running around and trying to solve things on the actual island not stuck in a house though but who knows whats happening in the next book soooo

it did get very confusing there with calla (who is fucking INSANE BY THE WAY!!! SHE TORTURED KNOX??? WTF????) and the whole calla lily thing with lyra and odette was confusing af. so its like calla (the person) has a connection with knox and brady and then a calla lily has a connection with odette and lyra (also kinda gray cause he knows abt it i guess)

and and and and im a die hard gigislate shipper (and brady daniels hater) so im praying that we get an enemies to lovers with gigi and slater where he's forced to be mean/hate or wtv because of *gags* eve and then its like oop no im breaking you out of here idc what eve thinks because i only care abt you. ESPCIALLY because gigi was talking abt how no ones ever looked at her the way jameson looks at avery throughout the book (SOMEBODY HIRE ME FR)

OK THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ITS TIME TO FOR THE CHARACTERS

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

lyra - ok i love her. she was such a good strong character it was so much fun to read about her interactions (with grayson 😏) she was actual so wife material but idk why i felt like i wasnt allll that into her character too much like i love her but didn't really feel connected with her?? idk she was a very good fmc to read about tho!! but i do wanna know about miles end and her whole connection with her dead dad (who btw is an ass who tf kills themself in front of a FOUR YEAR OLD???) and whoever's stalking here (honestly i had a whole ass thing thinking its ALL PROBABLY EVE LIKE SHE WOULDA DONE THAT MUCH RESEARCH OR SOMETHING or maybe eve was js there for gigi) but now i think it might've been something to do with alice. who knows honestly

gigi - this is my time to shineeeeee. if gigi has zero fans i am dead (and slater bc im delusional like that) i love gigi so much omg. she's my no 1 girl i love her. my girl just needs someone to love her fr she talks through out the book about how she wants to be looked at with so much love (she thought it was brady BUT NO EW) i loved reading from her perspective abt how she just wanted to prove that she was good enough to be in the game AND SHE IS!!! im still bitter about her getting kicked out of the game - AND IM NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH ON THE WHOLE KIDNAPPING AT THE END (GIGISLATE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHEN????)

rohan - marry me. thats it. honestly just marry me. u need to work on ur nicknames tho- it was super interesting to read about his way of think and the whole labyrinth thingy lol. there wasn't too much more about his backstory tho WHICH IM SO INVESTED IN FR. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS FIRST MEMORY IS DROWNING????

savannah - girboss fr. she could step on me and i'd say thank you. its really interesting to me how (obviously) she's been manipulated by eve and it'll be super interesting to see how jlb will play out her whole revenge plan. she's extremely driven which is admirable and a good characters (she's literally like a female grayson imo - which also reminds me of that one scene where she goes "i am grayson hawthornes sister" which made me smile so big fr)

there are so many characters oml

knox - ok so my buddy boy knox. broski, brozilla, broville, brother from another mother, u need a hug? i didn't really like him in the beginning tbh he was a moody lil girl working through his issues. but after a while when he warmed to gigi it was nice to see the softer side to him (which tbh wasnt for very long until oop trauma dumpppp) but seriously oml knox baby the scar???? imma find calla fr (jlb cant write new characters also why complicate the shit out of everything and have a calla lily be relevant to lyra and also have calla be a person???) i did like how sweet/soft he was with gigi when she fell though that warmed my heart.

odette - iconic grandma shit tbh. she was third wheeling the entire time and at some points actually seemed like she was shipping them but then two seconds later she was warning them? saying no? idk the whole 'seizure' thing seems faker than eve's lies. and the fact she instantly gave brady the watch after gigi said no. like um what about knox? idk if thats js my brady hate coming through here though so yeah idk if i trust her or not (bet everyone is working for eve except for gigi, lyra and rohan)

grayson - marry me. love me. choose me. pls. i'd do ANYTHING. my simping for this man aside. IT WAS SO GODDAMN REFRESHING TO SEE A HEALING GRAYSON. like yes. it made me so happy to see him admit he was wrong but also know that its okay to be wrong skdjhaasd. this is so short because i love him and cant write proper thoughts about him fr.

brady - *cracks even more knuckles* brady daniels....... you know i've always wanted to know what it'd be like to write a hate paragraph. i guess im finding out now. i hate him. literally. i have unbridled hate for this man - who by the way still shocks me that he's only 20 he acts like he saw the fucking first world war. its one of the reasons i never liked him like he sooo took advantage of gigi's smartness and kindness like HE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during the game gigi carried the entire team and when she refused to take odette's watch and then him instantly taking it. ICKKKK don't even mention how he lied abt his mom like dude just admit it you knew you were fucking cooked in that fight and the only way you could win was by lying. AND WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE BOMBSHELL ABOUT HOW (i cant remember his name but the dude who raised knox, calla and brady) died??? and then being a little shit and dropping gigi's heart. like we get it u dumbass man child u think you're clever cause u can speak so many languages and read even more but NO. i was onto you, i never trusted your crusty old man ass. like he even touched gigi without her permission (on the stomach) which so gross to me, the dogshit under my shoe can do better than you brady. seriously. i hate him. i'm the leader and founder of the I HATE BRADY DANIELS CLUB. so thats at least something to sate my anger. help this got so long 😭

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [i'm putting like two because this already wayyyyy to long for anyone to actually bother reading.]

"you will come back to me, or i will make you come back to me." - grayson

"Beside Avery, Jameson was looking at her like she was the sun and the moon and the stars and eternity, all rolled into one." - gigi

"give me your eyes sweetheart." - grayson

if you're here at the end of this *APPLAUSE* i commend you on getting through that kilometre of my shit thoughts. have a piece of cake 🍰

[tom-is-online]

throws brick at your skull

Favorite pjsk character?

if youd have asked me before it woulda just been Akito. however. god i love them both they're so me dudeeee its insaneeee

i also dropped sports in favour of wanting to pursuit smth creative cuz i didn't see me getting far in sports, only to feel like i was utter shit at drawing when i tried leading me to just feel like shit for like forever. also just i see my personality a lot in them, took both of em and i merged them and that is me fr

id still say if i HAD to that that stupid ginger is my favourite but like. Ena is so close to my heart i cant leave her out god i love the shinonome siblings

also distant summer festival was the first event i actually read as it came out on eng and ill never be over it i don't think, forever my favourite and im so happy i have the full set now

anyway :) shinonome siblings

[szasweetener]

shifting rant

ok I dont believe in blockages but anyways I think I finally figured out my own though.

so I haven't shifted since December 2022 and I think the universe is doing something to me though cause I didn't really think about shifting for a while until thanks to Tik Tok they put Cristiano Ronaldo Jr on my fyp LMFAO and I kept seeing edits and videos of him everyday!!! and like last week I remembered my shifting instagram account and stuff and remembered about shifting fully and my experiences and then I saw ANOTHER Cris Jr video and I was like wait cause I forgot how much I love soccer and with all those vids of Cris Jr I was like omg I wanna be his friend like imagine being Cristiano Ronaldo's son's friend and then I was like shifting!!! so I made a new script and i've never felt so connected and wanting to shift to a dr more than ever till I thought of this idea.

so for backstory ill try and cut it down, my dad has been a huge soccer fan and player since a kid but he didn't have access into becoming a soccer player like a professional one and I always felt bad and I also want to become in a league one day so then when I thought of Cris Jr and making a soccer dr I thought to myself I should just make my dad a pro league player! so now we're going to be besties with Ronaldo and his family!! yay!! and also since I was 11 I've been dreaming of moving to the Middle East of Asia its actually the most beautiful part of our plane earth ever. and when I was learning more about Cris I learned him and his family live in Saudi Arabia which made me want to shift to that dr idea even more! and like everyone does, I always wanted to be born into a rich family but im one of those unfortunate people but that's okay!!

I have my dr now and this dr just represents all my childhood dreams and not just mine but also my dads! and I think that was my blockage I was never sure of my other drs and when id make better cr scripts id still not want to shift cause I felt something was not right. and I think now I know I want this to become my better cr because its everything I dreamed of so I feel more comfortable to shift there than I have felt with any other dr!!

so thank you tik tok for putting that child on my fyp cause then I woulda never thought of this fr LOL but yay im so excited to shift guysss!! I know im going to cause Ive never felt this connected to a dr and feeling connected just means ive shifted there already!!! and Ive been listening to my dr playlist all day and I always see and angel number when the song that I connect to the dr the most comes on!

sorry for the long rant and ilysm if you read all of this but this dr just had me so excited and happier than ever and this is the dr ive been reaching for since my journey started!

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter IV.

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: The beginning of the end...

WORD COUNT: ~7.5k

RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: The start of a very wicked love triangle, slowburn slowburn slowburnnnn, mentions of religion (Catholicism), porn WITH plot !!!, some characterization, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized.

A/N: this took me longer than i anticipated solely bc i hate rereading my writing lol i'm tryin suuuuper hard to get javi's characterization down so i hope i'm doing him justice fr 🙏🏽 the plot is slowly getting started and i'm just rly hype for it bc i love the whole southern gothic vibe like it EATS!!! anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

♰  playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

“You know, most guys woulda thrown in the towel by now.” Paloma tells him, legs steadily peddling her bicycle as Javier drives in his cruiser alongside her. 

“Most guys are idiots, querida.” He replies cooly, one arm dangling lazily out of the driver’s side window and his aviators sitting pretty on the bridge of his nose.

Paloma’s laugh rings out beautifully and he can’t keep himself from smiling. “S’no wonder they quit on you. You’re stubborn as hell.” He grumbles, thinking of the various times that she’s rejected his offer to drive her wherever she needed.

Initially, Javier’s behavior bordered on being a downright nuisance, deliberately encroaching on her personal space with excessive proximity. It wasn’t entirely due to his duties; rather, he found amusement in witnessing her irritation. The combination of her sharp retorts and accompanying eye rolls became an addictive response he couldn’t resist provoking.

It was entertaining, to say the least.

Amidst his constant patrolling, Javier got to learn more about her little by little. Details like what her routine consists of and how she interacts with others.

It’s abundantly evident that Paloma is adored by nearly everyone she encounters. Her kindness, wit, talent… beauty. It’s thoughts like these that had him second guessing how he was approaching the sheriff’s orders.

It was making him feel like a stalker, honestly, so he decided to pull back a bit. She is grown, after all, and she’s reminded him of that fact almost daily. 

So, Javier gave her the space they both need. Not following her around everywhere or posting up outside her job. During his downtime, he is able to put more analytical attention on the current homicide case. Starting with the guy that had lingered at Nina’s funeral.

He asked around, trying to get any information about a potential boyfriend or anything of that nature but came up empty handed.

Paloma grins proudly at his words. “You say stubborn I say strong-willed. I do appreciate you easing off, though.” She looks over at him and he admires how pretty she looks beneath the sunlight.

Brown hair clipped up into a messy updo and a soft, yellow sundress adorning her body. A hidden gem in this vast and obscure town.

“‘Least I could do. Helps me think, too, drivin’ around.” Javier keeps himself from reminiscing on his days in Colombia and the endless amount of stakeouts he’d been apart of. Sure, his ass would get numb and most of the time they acquired nothing but it helped him analyze any and every detail he could examine; often the copious amount of time he spent trying to piece everything together lead to a bigger break in the investigation.

He’s just applying the same technique here. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been able to make anything out of it all.

“Ah, so the car is your go to spot? Mine is the abandoned tracks over by Montrose. For some reason, I think better there… if that makes any sense.” The conversation continues easily and naturally. That is another thing he’s come to learn about her, Paloma is very amiable.

“It makes sense, muñeca. You shouldn’t go by yourself, though. Don’t know who could be followin’ you all the way out there…”

“I think it’s an officer that goes by Peña and I’m pretty sure he’s stalking me.” She teases him and he rolls his eyes, letting out a dry chuckle.

Javier really wants to urge her to let him take her to work but he knows she’ll challenge him.

Thinner strands of her hair stick to her neck and other damp areas of her face; the sweat on her thighs which he can see gleam beneath the hot sun each time she pedals. That leather seat she’s sitting on must be uncomfortable.

“I’m sure he’s just trying to make sure that you don’t run into any trouble. Which is why I think you should let me give you a ride to the library before you pass out and die of heat exhaustion tryin’ to bike there.” Javier tilts his head to the side to look at her and she stays quiet, thinking over his words before letting out a defeated sigh.

“Fine, but only because it’s hot as shit and I may or may not be jealous of the A/C in your cruiser.” He can’t help the smirk that tugs at his lips as she caves in, rolling the vehicle to a smooth stop and putting it into park so that he could mount her bicycle to the back of it.

Javier’s eyes trail over her form as her back is turned to him, grabbing her things out of the small basket. If her father knew the scandalous thoughts he had about her— he’d have him quartered and drawn. That does have a wave of guiltiness wash over him since the man is trusting him fully to look out for her and her wellbeing.

Which he is, in that regard Romeo has nothing to worry over, it’s Javier’s attraction to her that’s messing with his conscience.

It doesn’t help that Paloma plays into it, feigning innocence when she gets a reaction out of him. Maybe he shouldn’t be so reactive.

“I got it.” Javier insists, taking ahold of the metal handle and brushing up against her as he does so. He feels her body stiffen at the sudden touch yet he keeps a satisfied simper at bay.

“Thank you, officer.” She recovers smoothly with that intriguing timbre she uses when they banter flirtatiously.

It is so wrong yet so right of them to continue whatever this is. Seeing just how far they can take it before the inevitable happens. Javier will hold off as much as he can, really he will, for the sake of his job and budding friendship with Romeo… if she ever decides to be explicit in her demands, however, it’s going to take a lot of willpower to not give in.

Once the bike is secured and she’s in the cruiser, he hops back into the driver’s seat and begins the drive into town.

The ride is silent at first, Paloma shoving her face in front of the small vents on the passenger side and letting the gust of air cool her down. He catches glimpses from his peripheral as she digs through her bag to pull out a satin handkerchief, wiping her face and neck, then her thighs.

He can’t help as his stare follows the motion of her dragging the fabric along her smooth and sweaty skin. Almost jealous of the damn thing, imagining it to be his touch instead.

“I wouldn’t be in this predicament had my car been fixed…” she breaks their silence, peeking over at him as she fixes up her hair. It’s clear he understands the implication behind her words.

“I did volunteer myself to take a look at it, didn’t I?” Javier responds as she sprits some perfume onto her wrists and behind her ear, rolling on some deodorant and just like that Paloma’s freshened up. Now the cab of his cruiser smells like her and it’s going to drive him fucking insane.

“If I remember correctly, yes.” He stops at an intersection, finally being able to look at her properly. 

“You free Saturday?”

“You askin’ me out on a date?” Paloma’s eyes twinkle in pure mischief.

“Your dad would kill me if I did that.”

“In front of the whole town, too. Make an example outta you.”

“I’m tryin’ to steer very clear of that, so no, baby, unfortunately I’m not askin’ you out on a date. I’ve got time to stop by and take a look at it before I go in for my shift.”

Paloma purses her lips in thought as Javier trudges forward, the terrain changing from dirt road to asphalt as they near the library.

“Yeah, you can come by at lunch. Daddy’s out all weekend on some huntin’ trip with his friends so… I’ll be home alone.” It’s tantalizing, the way she drops that tidbit of information at the end. Javier is well aware of Romeo’s absence but he hadn’t stopped to think what that meant for him and Paloma.

As if there is a him and Paloma.

She flirts and eyes him like she would let him have his way with her but she is also strong-willed and and clever enough to be leading him on.

He’s just now built some rapport with her and he doesn’t want to jeopardize it. They can continue flirting without crossing the physical threshold. 

“Alright, nena, I’ll see you at lunch Saturday.” He’s in front of the main entrance to the building now.

“It’s a date, officer.”

“You must want me dead.” He huffs.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” She pauses, biting down on her lower lip, “It’ll be our little secret.” Paloma whispers before opening the door.

He begins to swell in his pants as her voice drops into a whisper, words coated in seductive suggestion at the idea of them fooling around inconspicuously. 

“Wait, your bike—” He’s already reaching down to unbuckle himself when she stops him, leaning in through the open window of the now closed door.

“Don’t worry about it. You can take me home later. I get off at 6.” She winks at him, pulling back and turning on her heels to walk inside.

Javier slumps in his seat, head falling back against the headrest as he reminds himself how fucked he is.

When Saturday afternoon rolls around, Javier’s heart is racing in anticipation of his alone time with Paloma at the Leighton residence.

All week he’s been plagued with profane scenarios of what could potentially unfold. Partially because he hasn’t gotten laid since returning stateside but also for his unwavering carnal desire for her.

The fact that she is irrevocably off limits only intensifies his yearning. He wants Paloma so bad because he can’t have her.

That’s lead to him finishing into his fist in the shower, images of her kneeled before him with her mouth wrapped around his cock at the forefront of his mind.

The first time it had happened, he felt like a damn teenager getting off to a crush. But then it continued to happen and at that point he just let his fantasies run amuck. 

It’s not like he’d ever tell her or anyone for that matter, so his illicit imagination will continue to be just that: fleeting thoughts. Guilty pleasures only he can indulge in.

He pulls onto the property with ease, cutting the engine and sitting there for a minute to collect himself. It’s embarrassing for Javier to give himself a pep talk at his grown age, ‘keep your shit together’ his new mantra.

With his metallic toolbox in hand, he’s ready to knock against the screen door when he hears music playing faintly nearby. He follows the tune, rounding the corner of the wraparound porch to the backyard.

The music is recognizable now, a Fleetwood Mac song and his eyes fall on the girl lounging peacefully.

Paloma’s in a hammock, her long legs crossed over one another and hanging from the side. She’s reading a romance novel, he notes, from the incredibly cliché cover of a buff man with a half dressed woman in his grasp. He can faintly hear her humming along to the song, fingers tapping in rhythm against the hardcover of the book.

“Hola muñequita.” Javier greets suavely which has her peeking over her book then smiling wildly when she sees him.

“You made it!” Paloma excitedly stands from her spot, allowing him get a better look at her. She’s got on a red bikini top and a jean mini skirt. He wasn’t prepared to see this much of her bare skin and it throws him off entirely. So much for that pep talk.

It is a magnificent sight, though. Thankfully his sunglasses shield her from his wandering gaze, but with the intensity of his stare, she can probably feel it.

Javier knows her figure is divine, all the different outfits she wears both around town and on stage showcased her assets tastefully. However, seeing her in a top that’s almost too small and a skirt that’s definitely too short has those desires of his ramping up viciously. 

It doesn’t help that she’s got a dainty, golden cross necklace hanging from her neck. It rests tantalizingly against the smooth skin right above the swell of her breasts. So many things he fantasizes about doing to her and none of them holy. The piece of jewelry reminds him that he needs to back off. 

Amidst his leering, Javier notices a faint scar running from the left side of her hip up to below her breast and he’s curious to know how it got there.

“You had an inclination that I wouldn’t make it?” He returns to the conversation before it’s painfully obvious that he’s checking her out.

Paloma smirks, meeting him halfway as he descends the steps of the porch to approach her. Her hands cross behind her back and she stares up at him through her mascara coated lashes. “Figured you’d probably wanna spend your Saturday afternoon at home instead of playin’ mechanic.” She sways lightly and he narrows his eyes at her. 

He can see right through her act, not that she’s being very subtle.

“I’m a man of my word. Already been puttin’ off this visit longer than I should have.” He can’t help himself from bringing his finger up to twirl a strand of her hair, enjoying the silkiness of it against his touch before letting it fall softly against her.

If they hold their gaze a second longer, one of them will break and while Javier is certain that it’d be blissful, it would also be a mistake.

“Here, I’ll take you to her. She’s in the shed.” It’s like she can read his mind, nudging her head in the direction of the small structure and she turns to begin leading him there, in which he follows wordlessly, not being elusive at all as he gets a better look at her from this angle. The skirt is just barely covering the curve of her ass, and a flash of red is revealed each time she takes a step.

He bites down on his tongue harshly, adverting his gaze and thinking of literally anything else to keep his erection away.

He surveys the area of the backyard, not seeing a pool or any body of water nearby and he wonders why she has the bathing suit on.

Not that it should matter to him. She’s probably just tanning, you pervert. It’s hotter than hell out today.

Paloma’s humming again as she goes to remove the wooden plank that keeps the door of the shed closed, grunting as she struggles to pull it free. The soft sounds she emits do nothing but make it harder for him to show some fucking resilience.

“Do you need help—” Javier’s cut off as she successfully slides the thick piece off, resting it against the metal wall and dusting her hands off on her skirt.

“Appreciate it, though.” She flashes him a toothy grin, the wide doors creak as she pulls them open; revealing a beautiful vintage car. 

Javier lets out a low whistle, perching his sunglasses on the top of his head and placing his toolbox on the ground as he walks around the vehicle to get a better look at it.

His hands fall to his hips, circling the area slowly and shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re tellin’ me the mechanic didn’t jump at the chance to fix this thing?”

“Like you said, most men are idiots.” He can’t help but laugh, exhaling from his nose.

“S’always interestin’ to see it in practice.” He returns to the front of the car, propping open the hood and getting a better look inside. “You got the keys?”

“In the visor.” She replies, “Good luck tryin’ to get her to start. All she does is stutter before given’ out entirely.”

Javi makes a note of that, acknowledging her with a hum, already seeing a few things out of place and he’s eager to get to working on it.

Before turning to law enforcement, Javi had the inkling to become a mechanic. Plenty of his uncles worked in auto shops and he has vivid memories of spending hours there with them learning everything he could under their supervision.

Experiences he holds near and dear to his heart, it’s part of the reason why he’s so clever and dexterous.

“I’ve got some stuff I gotta get done. Try not to miss me…” Paloma’s voice rings out and Javier hadn’t noticed that he zoned out.

He glances at her over his shoulder, “I’m more interested in gettin’ to know Darla, if I’m bein’ honest with you, hermosa.”

Paloma had to excuse herself before she quite literally jumped on Javier and had him take her against the hood of her car. The way he looked with his hands on his hips, eyes focused on admiring the vehicle had left her in a trance that she was sure if she stared any longer, she would have started drooling.

Something about the promise of seeing him sweaty and greased up had her mind spiraling with different erotic fantasies that would surely send her to straight to hell.

So she properly lets him be, busying herself with a few chores she has to get done before leaving for the creek with Sloane later. It is the first time Paloma will be meeting August and she’s nervous even though she doesn’t look it.

She finished the book Slo had passed on to her in a matter of days, intrigued to learn more about August’s ideas and the concepts he’s clearly very passionate about. When she relayed this over to Slo, the middleman between the two, she wasted no time in conjuring up a plan for them to meet. Originally, it was going to be more intimate with just the two of them but Paloma stressed that she was not ready for that so Sloane was quick to make it a group affair by suggesting they hang out by the creek.

It’s why she is currently clad in a bathing suit, with the summer at full send; being down by the water seemed like the best way to spend the latter half of her afternoon.

Right now, though, she’s more focused on not trying to fuck her dad’s friend slash co-worker.

Some time passes, and when Paloma takes a look out in the direction of the shed, she sees that he’s ditched his flannel, leaving him in a white undershirt and his broad shoulders are now on full display as he leans over the hood.

That’s when she sees it. It glistens beneath the sunlight, a silver pistol tucked between his jeans at his lower back. She knows officers carry a weapon on them at all times, but the unorthodox placing of Javier’s further adds to the appeal of this alluring man. God damn him and his desirability. 

Paloma’s mind now wanders to the repeated wet dream she keeps having, the one where Javier takes her on the wooden railing of the porch. Specifically, the variation where he’s kneeled in front of her, her dress covering his face as he devours her entirely.

She interlocks her fingers in his hair and tugs at it, in which he responds by wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking on it harshly. That leaves her wailing and panting his name over and over and over again…

The force in which her thighs clench together is enough to snap her out of her delusions. She’s no better than a man, really, and she huffs to herself as she reenters the house to grab the six pack of beers, her guitar and notebook before sauntering over to him.

She’s more than capable of handling just being around Javier without thinking sinfully. It’s why she’s walking like a woman with a purpose, trying to prove to herself that she can be totally normal about this… budding friendship she has with him.

“How’s it goin’ in here?” Her voice cuts through the sound of the radio that continues to play softly. She brought it in here for him to have some entertainment before she hurried off to the house.

Javier pulls back, lips twitching up into a smirk as he eyes the beers in her hand. “Goin’ fine. Whoever you took her to really fucked it up. No wonder he couldn’t figure out what the problem was. It’s everythin’.” Back of his hand wipes sweat from his brow, some of his hair matted against his damp skin. “I thought you didn’t drink.”

“Never said that. I just said on occasion.” She reminds him, popping the cap off of two beers then handing him one. He thanks her softly, wiping his hand on the already stained rag and tucking it into his back pocket. 

Her knees almost go weak at the action, but she’s a woman on a mission, remember?

“So what’s the occasion today?”

“It’s hot as fuck outside.” They share a laugh and tap their bottles together before taking a long sip.

“And the guitar?” 

Paloma sits on the wooden chair nearby, her spot whenever she comes in here to keep her dad company while he’s in the middle of building something. Most recently, some planter boxes she’d requested for their garden.

“I figured since I had some new company, I could play something for you. It helps move the writing process along.” She kicks her sandals off, tucking her legs beneath her and laying the guitar across her lap.

“I’m getting a peek behind the curtain of Paloma Leighton’s illustrious writing process? Well, I’m truly honored,” he remarks, dripping with sarcasm. She rolls her eyes at his jest but can’t help but chuckle, taking another sip of her beverage and downing it in one gulp.

She catches the intensity of his gaze lingering on her throat, tracing the subtle movements with each swallow. Paloma can’t help but entertain the thought: does he fantasize about her as she does about him?

“Don’t feel too special. I’m always playin’ somethin’ for someone.” She sets the finished bottle aside, thumbing through her notebook until she finds the adequate page and folds the tattered front so that it lays flat on the thick arm of the chair. 

As she does this, Javier lights a cigarette and puffs out a cloud of gray smoke. “You do it all yourself?” She can hear the curiosity in his tone and for some reason, it makes her blush.

“For the most part. The band just helps bring it all together. They add the umph to it… s’not always the case, though. Sometimes I oversee the entirety of it. From the lyrics to the melody and everything in between. It’s real fun.” She begins to tune her guitar, brows pulling in concentration as her ears perk up to catch any inconsistencies until she’s thoroughly pleased with how it sounds.

Javier remains silent, his fond gaze lingering on her as he takes a drag from his cigarette. With practiced ease, he lifts the beer bottle to his lips, alternating between the two vices at a leisurely pace. As he delves deeper into understanding her, the allure intensifies, dangerously blurring the lines between flirtation and something more profound.

Something more. He’s trying real fucking hard not to see it like that. 

Javi’s never been inclined to seek deeper connections with his partners. Emotions and commitments tend to complicate matters, a burden he’s well-acquainted with in his already convoluted life. He sees no need to add unnecessary strain by entering into half-hearted relationships.

This is why he exclusively pursues sex, seeking gratification without the complications of emotional entanglements. His experiences in Colombia, where he didn’t mind paying for intimacy, epitomized this mindset. There, a mutual understanding prevailed: their encounters were solely about shared pleasure, with no expectation of anything beyond.

In the short months that he’s been here, Javi has finally began finding some kind of peace in Seminary, all things considered, and while fucking the sheriff’s daughter would be a bad move— catching feelings for her would be a hundred times worse.

“It’s a little morbid, m’still workin’ on it and it’s fairly short. S’just the chorus.” Javier nods, letting her know that he’s listening as she begins to sing.

“If I die young, bury me in satin Lay me down on a bed of roses, Sink me in the river at dawn Send me away with the words of a love song. The sharp knife of a short life, Now I know there’s no such thing as enough time.”

Her voice is softer, southern accent complimenting her strums on the guitar and while he enjoys the electrifying performances she puts on stage; he loves hearing her like this.

Rich and smooth. Like miel (honey).

“You’re right, it is morbid.” He comments, truthfully, and Paloma lets out a breath.

“I tried not lettin’ what happened to Nina get into my writing. No need to keep dwellin’ on it but damn is it hard to keep it away. Figured I’d just get it out of my system and get back to workin’ on my other stuff.” 

“There’s nothin’ wrong with dwelling on it…” He begins tentatively, already sensing a pang of regret for broaching the subject. Once more, he finds himself grappling with the challenge of articulating his thoughts effectively.

“I know, but for my peace of mind it’s best I just get on with it.” Her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug, fingers plucking at the guitar strings again.

For the next hour or so, they immerse themselves in conversation, delving into a wide array of topics. While Javier meticulously tends to the car’s engine, Paloma remains by his side, offering her company. Amidst their discussions, they explore trivial details about each other’s lives: favorite movies, food preferences, and other basic facts. Through these exchanges, Javier learns of Paloma’s irrational fear of reptiles, her affinity for sleeping with her windows open, and her distinct preference for waffles over pancakes.

Javier indulges in the easy flow of their conversation, sharing with her his fondness for spy novels, his penchant for card games, and reminiscing about his favorite arepa spot in Bogotá.

The latter captivates her, drawing her focus entirely. “I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you lived there for such a long time. It’s just unimaginable to me... A completely different country... so fascinating.” She muses, her tone tinged with wistfulness.

He’s eager to shift away from this subject, recognizing her genuine curiosity and good intentions. However, he’s apprehensive about delving into discussions about his past work and experiences, topics he’s not ready to broach. With a brief, dismissive response, he seeks to subtly steer the conversation in a different direction.

“Yup, lotta crazy shit…” He returns his attention to the engine and Paloma catches the hint and doesn’t say much else after.

“Paloma!” The sudden call of her name has them both turning their heads to the opened doors of the shed where he sees a girl her age standing on the porch, searching the area until her eyes fall on the two of them and she beelines in their direction.

“I’ve been knockin’ on your front door like a crazed woman for the past five minutes! There’s a random truck parked out there, what’re you doin’—” When the girl’s gaze lands on Javier, her entire body language switches and he raises his brows at the change. “I didn’t know you had company. Who’s this handsome fella?” 

Javier is accustomed to captivating the attention of women, especially the striking ones. They consistently cast him that same flirtatious glance, their gestures taking on an added want of attention. This encounter proves to be no exception. With her bottom lip captured between her teeth, she checks him out not so subtly, her gaze lingering on his toned arms before returning to meet his gaze, a playful spark dancing in her eyes.

Maybe this is exactly what he needs: a diversion to divert his attention from Paloma. Despite his intense desire for her, he knows it would only lead to complications in the future.

Pursuing women younger than himself is not the path he wishes to tread, especially since he (allegedly) left his playboy days behind in Colombia in pursuit of a fresh start.

Yet, amidst his longing for Paloma and the current lack of romantic encounters, Javier finds it difficult to view things in this new perspective.

Always thinking with the wrong head. It’s his achilles heel.

“Javi. What’s your name, gorgeous?” He smirks flirtatiously, wiping his hands clean on the rag again and reaching out to take her hand in his in a handshake.

“Sloane.” She squeezes his hand gently before letting go, sultry smile still present on her countenance.

“Sloane, pleasure to meet you sweetheart.”

Paloma doesn’t like the nasty feeling she gets as she watches the interaction. It’s clear as day that they’re flirting, and honestly what did she expect out of her best friend, and now, charming acquaintance?

She’s well aware of his rapport in Colombia and the daily flirtatious behavior towards her. Paloma’s also aware of how willing Slo is to fuck anything in her line of vision. Yet, not being on the receiving end of the former is odd and has her feeling things she doesn’t want to feel.

What really has her skin crawling is the way he calls her sweetheart and introduces himself as Javi. He’s never told her to call him that.

Honestly, she probably would have felt more green if he had called her hermosa or any of the other Spanish names of endearment he’s reserved for her. 

Reserved for her? She sounds so possessive. 

Sloane giggles, “You’re the one who’s been followin’ her around all over town on daddy’s orders, huh? P, you didn’t tell me he was this hot. I woulda told you to count your blessings had I known.” They exchange a look that Paloma really can’t stand catch sight of, so she interjects.

“Sorry I lost track of time. Javier’s been lookin’ at Darla tryna fix her.” His name rolls of her tongue smoothly and this has a smug smile sprouting on his face. 

No cowboy or officer or Mr. Peña. Just Javier.

She gets up from her seat, sliding her sandals back on and leaving her belongings where they lay.

“There’s a part or two that’s missin’ but it shouldn’t be hard to get ‘em. Other than that, my work here is done.” He turns his back to the two girls and Sloane mouths over to her.

Oh my god?!

Paloma shoots her a look as Javier slams the hood of the car closed.

“Thank you, Javier, I really appreciate you doin’ this for me.” Her tone is genuine, despite the jealousy that had consumed her just then.

“No problem, cariño, I’ll let you know when I get my hands on those missin’ parts.”

“That sounds great! How much do I owe you for—” He cuts her off with a wave of his hand, collecting his things. 

“Don’t worry about it. M’doin’ this out of the kindness of my heart. S’what you do for a friend, right?” Speaking of hearts, hers skips a beat at being considered a friend and she feels her cheeks getting hot. Get a grip!

“Yeah, I guess so.” Paloma refrains from saying thank you again, not wanting to overdo it but she really is appreciative of his hard work.

Maybe she could find another way to show just how much she appreciates him doing this for her.

“Gabriel’s waitin’ for us out front, baby. We’re already runnin’ late.” Slo’s voice snaps her back to reality and she nods. Javier clears his throat and side steps her.

“Hope y’all have fun. Be safe, hermosa. Call me if you need anythin’.” Warmth spreads within her chest at his words, which would have annoyed her had they been coming from anyone else.

There has definitely been a shift in their dynamic, but she can’t quite place what it is. The bitterness she felt just then definitely a factor.

“Sloane, darling, hopefully I’ll see you ‘round town soon.” And just like that, the warmth is gone as he addresses her best friend, a wink thrown in her direction before he’s leaving the two girls in the shed.

“Okay, you have a lot to catch me up on. Frankly, I’m pissed you haven’t sent him in my direction. I mean, look at him. That’s a whole man right there, dear lord I was about to cum just by shakin’ his hand!” Paloma cringes but she doesn’t let it show, instead pulling excitement from their afternoon plans to uplift her mood.

“How about we get goin’ before Gabriel ditches our asses and we’re left walkin’ all the way down there.”

It’s not much longer after that that they make it to their destination and Paloma rejoices in the feeling of the cool water against her hot skin. She ditched her mini skirt along the way, currently sitting in a more shallow end, head falling back against her shoulders as she soaks in the sun.

She can hear Gabriel and Sloane splashing around nearby, and she contemplates joining them when the sound of her name gets her attention.

“Paloma, yeah?”

She head snaps in the direction of the voice and her breath gets stuck in her throat once she sees the source.

He stands tall, his figure slightly lanky but gracefully lean, his golden locks tousled. His eyes, a light shade of blue and captivating, hold a magnetic charm.

With a quick glance, she takes in the intricate tapestry of tattoos adorning his skin. They seem to complement him perfectly, she muses, adding an extra layer of intrigue to his already handsome appearance.

And for the second time in such a short period of time— Paloma finds herself subtly squirming in her spot, a familiar sensation stirring within her legs.

This man, though, much more age appropriate and everything about him screams intriguing.

“Depends who’s askin’.” She can’t help but tease, one eye closed and her right hand coming up to block the sun from hitting her face directly. She’d forgotten her sunglasses at home and that annoyed the shit out of her once she realized.

“A friend of a friend. May I?” Gestures to the empty spot in the shallow water besides her and she nods, “You’re much prettier than I remember.”

Eyes follow him as she lowers himself besides her, their bodies softly brushing up against one another and she shivers slightly despite the blazing temperature, “We’ve met before? No way, I definitely would have remembered you…”

“Technically— no we haven’t met but… I was with Slo that day at the library. M’August.” He introduces himself and her stomach knots.

That’s when it hits her, a very vague recollection but a recollection of him nevertheless.

“Right, wow, that feels like forever ago.” She shakes her head, gently swaying her hand beneath the water. Suddenly, she feels much more nervous. She’d spent a good part of her week obsessing over his book and now he’s sitting right next to her while they’re both half naked.

His explicit poem comes to mind and she shakes that thought away quickly before her whole body turns into a bright shade of red.

“Time is a very tricky concept. You want these?” He conjures up a pair of shades and her brows raise at the action. “Noticed you’ve been scowlin’ ‘cause of the sunlight.”

A small smile spreads on her lips and she nods, he passes the accessory over to her and their fingers touch briefly against each other and she swears she feels fireworks.

Paloma really has to stop being such a helpless romantic. That never ends good for anyone involved.

“Thank you, August. You’re so observant.” She slips them on and lets out a small sigh, her head falling back between her shoulders.

She can feel his eyes all over her, but she doesn’t mind it. “Slo tells me you’re a fan of my work?”

She can’t help the laugh that slips from her lips and her eyes widen once she realizes that that wasn’t the most appropriate reaction for her to have. “That… came out really wrong. I’m so sorry.” She shakes her head at herself, “I did enjoy the Paragons of the Sacrificed book.” Is honest in her opinion, looking straight ahead at the glistening body of water to avoid further embarrassment by looking at him.

“Don’t apologize, I know Slo has a tendency to… over-exaggerate.” They shared an amused laugh at the expense of their friend but it’s all in good fun. She feels some of her nerves lessen.

“I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the book, though. S’the whole point why I wrote it. Sharin’ new things to new people.” He explains.

“New things, indeed. You cited a lot of notable publishings. Got me lookin’ more into the history of religion… I can’t help but feel a little ignorant, y’know? So much knowledge out there and I’m so… uneducated.” Paloma scoffs at herself, self depreciation at its finest.

“Oh, that just isn’t true, little dove.” The nickname has Paloma looking over at him; he’s gives her such a warm and charming look that sends the butterflies in her stomach into a flurry. “Is it alright if I call you that? Seems very fitting… paloma is dove in Spanish.” A fact she’s very well aware of, since her mother reminded her about it all the time growing up.

“Yeah, I quite like that. No one’s ever really called me it before.” She replies almost sheepishly and he brings his large hand down to rest on her knee which has her breath hitching in her throat.

“Doves represent peace, love and purity … your parents sure did somethin’ namin’ you that.” His squeezes his grip on her knee briefly before pulling his hand back.

Pure? That’s possibly the last word she’d ever used to describe herself.

“As I was sayin’... throughout your life, others’ opinions have shaped your perspective. Eventually, you decide to see the world through your own eyes. Do some explorin’ of your own. It might take time to reach this realization, but what’s important is your willingness to learn and challenge conventional beliefs. So much knowledge out there, s’up to you to seek it and form your own opinions. S’way better than just followin’ what other people want you to think. Bit hypocritical comin’ from me considerin’ the group I lead but that’s different.”

Unbeknownst to Paloma, she finds herself captivated by every word that escapes his lips, hanging on to each syllable as if they were precious gems. His voice carries an irresistible attractiveness, his words akin to twinkling stars scattered across the vast expanse of a darkened sky.

He’s leading her to him… towards something in the same way constellations help sailors navigate the sea. 

They spend the rest of the day just… talking. He delves deeper into the intricacies of a group he belongs to—individuals adrift in the world, much like himself. Together, they’ve traveled through the majority of Texas, exchanging stories and delving into philosophical musings, united in their quest for deeper meaning and connection to something greater than themselves.

That leads Paloma to learn that he’s from Fayette, which is a few towns south, and that he, Sloane, and Gabriel all grew up in the same trailer park together. They’re the closest thing I have to a family is what August tells her and she feels sentimental as the statement tugs at her heartstrings.

She also learns that all three of them have a criminal past, which surprises her entirely and he explains to her that it was during their adolescence and it wasn’t anything major. Just stupid shit to pass the time.

She believes him without asking any further questions.

It’s not until they’re both getting bitten up by mosquitos that they decide it’s time to head back.

“It’s finally nice to put a face to the name, August. I hope I get to see you again… maybe read another one of your books?” Paloma bites her lip as they walk side by side.

“Likewise. Next time I’ll make sure to bring it to you personally. Don’t need Slo playin’ messenger and misconstruing our words.”

They make it back to Gabriel’s truck, he and Slo leaning against it and sharing a joint as they eye the duo. Paloma slips her skirt back on.

“‘Bout fuckin’ time. I need a shower, bad.” Sloane huffs, passing the joint to Paloma whom rejects it which gets an eye roll out of her friend and then handing it over to August who accepts it with no hesitation.

Paloma sees a motorcycle nearby and her curiosity gets the best of her, “S’that your ride, August?” She flips her hair over her shoulder, looking at him. He lustfully eyes the exposed skin of her neck and shoulders before nodding.

“Sure is. You ever been on one before?” Thick smoke emits from his lips and nose as he passes the joint back over to Gabriel who finishes it off wordlessly.

He’s so quiet, Paloma observes, but her attention returns to August.

“No. They look real cool, though.”

“You should let me take you home. Give you your first ride on one, little dove.” The offer is rather suggestive and she doesn’t mind it. She’s very interested in getting to know him better.

Paloma would have taken him up on it had she not been wearing the outfit that currently adorns her body. “Maybe next time.” She smiles at him softly and he nods, she looks away sheepishly as she blushes.

They share their goodbyes then she’s piling in to Gabriel’s truck after Sloane and on her way back home.

The day’s events echo through her thoughts as she gazes out of the window, Javier’s presence now intertwined with that of August’s. A sense of excitement bubbles within her, unfamiliar yet exhilarating—the attention she’s receiving is unlike anything she’s experienced before.

Two distinctly attractive and intriguing men have unexpectedly entered her life, each leaving an indelible mark. Rather than overcomplicating matters, Paloma resolves to embrace the moment and allow things to unfold naturally. It’s a thrilling prospect, injecting a sense of excitement into her life that she hasn’t felt in quite some time.

“Oh fuck.” Paloma curses as she sees her father’s vehicle parked by the front yard and him sitting out on the porch.

Looks like he’s gotten back from his hunting trip early. It is nearing ten o’clock and she knows she’s about to be interrogated on her whereabouts. 

She’s relieved that she hadn’t taken August up on his offer to bring her home on his motorcycle. Now that would have sent poor Romeo over the edge.

“Oh, baby, I feel for you.” Slo pats her thigh compassionately and Paloma groans. Dread creeps up her spine making her wither uncomfortably.

“He wasn’t supposed to be back ‘til tomorrow mornin’. Ugh, he’s so not goin’ to let this go.” The truck stops and both Gabriel and Slo flash her an understanding yet somber look.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll call you tomorrow, ‘kay Slo?” The girl nods and they both hug before she’s exiting the vehicle and preparing herself for what’s to come. Paloma tugs her skirt down, noticing that it had ridden up much higher than what was appropriate. 

“Where the hell have you been, girl?” He asks once she’s close enough to survey him. He’s drinking, that’s never a good sign.

“We went out by the creek and—”

“The creek? With who? At this time of night? Paloma, how can you be so reckless. Especially with what the hell has been goin’ on around here?!”

Anger contorts her features, her expression tightening with indignation as he addresses her as though she were a wayward teenager, rather than a capable woman out in the company of her friends.

“And dressed like that.” The tone in his voice makes something within her snap and she crosses her arm with attitude, getting defensive.

“Like what? I was by the water and I’m wearin’ a bathin’ suit. S’that illegal now?” Paloma is so ready to go inside, shower, and get in her bed.

“Is this what you do when I’m not around? Sneakin’ off lookin’ for trouble in the dead of night?”

“It’s only ten and I really didn’t expect to stay out this long. I got preoccupied. Why are you makin’ such a big deal outta this?” She defends herself and it’s ridiculous, really, that she even has to.

He doesn’t say anything else and she just rolls her eyes. “I’m goin’ inside.” And that’s exactly what she does, walking right past him and indoors where she intends to take a very long, hot shower to help her forget about this spat of theirs.

Their arguments follow a familiar pattern: he erupts with emotion, then retreats into silence. Occasionally, he offers apologies, while other times, they linger unspoken. Paloma, however, is well-versed in navigating her father’s dramatic outbursts, having grown accustomed to them over time. It’s not the theatrics that trouble her; rather, it’s enduring it that proves challenging.

The shower runs while she takes a good, long look at herself in the mirror. 

Paloma finds herself approaching a crucial juncture, feeling increasingly prepared to confront her father in a heart-to-heart conversation. This discussion, she knows, will culminate in her revealing her decision to leave town and prioritize her own needs for once. While the thought of causing her father pain weighs heavily on her heart, she recognizes the necessity of taking this step in order to forge her own path in her life.

The steam rises from the hot water, gradually filling the room with its thick, swirling embrace. Paloma’s reflection blurs and fades amidst the steam, prompting her to shed her clothes. With each layer discarded, she feels a sense of liberation, a moment of vulnerability before she finally steps into the welcoming cascade of the shower.

[goatpaste]

Considering how Araki liked killing off so many ladies in Part 8, or ignored them, I'm more bothered that we didn't get any female-Rock Humans. I get maybe Pillars were rushed for time, but he had way more time to say, make some rock humans who weren't guys. Just something that bothers me.

YeaH I'm gonna admit like I love jojolion a lot

But the rock human plot felt? Off to me

Like idk if my reading comprehension is just not there but in like.. idk if I fully get the reason for the rock humans? And why they couldn't just be regular humans. Like I don't hate that there's rock humans but I didn't see the point of them having to exist the way they did

And arakis really weird convoluted whatever about insisting their just kinda antagonistic in nature and cannot hold a positive relationship with humans and romantic relationships with humans end with them hurting or killing their partners? Like what was the point of that especially when at least 2 of the rock humans from their lil group were ruining by their humans romantic partners? Like they loved and trusted their humans so much that it near destroyed them ? And one of them still wished to be with his old love?

Then being like, rock humans cannot have with kids with humans..... (100 chapters later) lol sike here's a half human half rock person for some reason

Like what did we gain from them specfically being rock humans ig? Geniuenly idk if I read jojolion too fast and suck at understanding but if someone has their interpretation or better understanding of this I wanna know fr? Like I LIKE rock humans I just fjdjjd don't get it lol

Maybe thats all it is? Just that it's a cool concept and araki always seems set on nearly non human thing being evil by nature it seems? Like vampires and pillar men even tho I could say the way he wrote the pillar men as human and sympathetic? Was also confusing if he wanted us to just think their the bad guys. Just a running araki trend?

And yeah araki kinda just barely has woman antagonist in general like... being able to literally count every female antagonist on my hands it's like... yeah he doesn't! Tend to go the way of making many cool evil woman sadly.. so it's not a surprise no female rock humans... but fuck dude it woulda been nice to see!

[evablueblanket]

Intro Moment

Hello Internet, I am EvaBlueBlanket! I go by whatever you feel like calling me (most call me Eva or Blue)

Pronouns - Any/All

Height - Assume I’m taller than you >:)

Tags I’m writing here bc I forgot them all before:

#EvaBlue Moment For random thoughts and idk what the heck

#EvaBlue Rambles For those times where I have a lot to say about something in particular

#EvaBlue Answers For *all* those asks I get in my askbox 100% fr though I super love to talk about myself apparently so it’s always open xD

#Creative Blue Box In the chance I do any writing/sketches/music whatever!

The Basic of facts:

- I drift fandoms every few months so I apologize for the in-congruency of what I reblog xD

- Favorite color is blue, who woulda guessed (I like a slightly leaning light blue, but not completely pastel if you can visualize that)

- I don’t consider myself the most analytical person, nor am I the most Observant. I am not the person who would give you some deep dive on certain media (Though I super love reading/listening to other people do it!)

- Love reading, lots of ao3 tabs open and I can’t seem to get rid of them

- I am kinda forgetful, the brain super hates me

- Musically inclined, I play Bb Clarinet and Bass Clarinet (and i’m darn good at them muahahah)

- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME MUSIC RECS It is so important to me that you give me what you like to listen to bc 1) It’s insight into you as a human being and 2) I want to widen what I listen to bc variety is the spice of life

Okie thanks bye :D

[sambambucky]

tagged by @crepuscularqueens!!!!!!!!! Sorry it took me forever, i am insane!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional

Age Gap: -3 i read everything but if this is a specific tag its like.. not enough to entice me? and depending on the pairing i will sometimes be like oh nooo

Codependency: 10 i can't tell you the last time i saw this tagged anywhere but i will click it every time.. it is more important than the ship! im such a fucking simp for codependency even though a friend’s therapist told her it’s not a real thing???

Enemies to lovers: 3 this one is dependent on the ship/other tags? For whatever reason the setting is important to me like what kinda enemies we talkin about fr?

Enemies With Benefits: 5 i just like things to be as complicated as possible i guess, idk

Fake Dating/Relationship: 3 i like it but its not getting me outta bed you know? But stick this in certain settings, & i can't click fast enough

Found Family: 2 LOVE IT as a trope in general but idk if it impacts my decision to read anything

Friends To Lovers: 0 makes no  impact on my decision to read by itself. Maybe sprinkle in some slow burn… or other….. things……. Then we can talk (:

Friends With Benefits: 4 i just love mess idk

Hurt/Comfort: 6 me 5 years ago woulda put this as a 10+++, and she still lives in me

Love Triangle: 1 lately………….. I been….. 👀

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: -1 by itself its not doing a lot for me

Monster Fu… Relationship: 7 gimme gimme gimme

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: 9 im a fucko freak and honestly who got the recs because its been a min

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 3 by itself not doing much for me as a trope BUUUUT → especially when it’s given more depth (sunshine is hiding pain and needs to learn how to be okay with not always being okay, etc.)<;- yeeeeaaaah. yeah.

Poly: 4 by itself im shrugging but w some favesss? With a rarepair? Licking my chomps like a cartoon wolf

Pregnancy: -8 there is one (1) author that i know got me on this and thats IT

Second Chance: 7 learning right here right now that I just like bitches who have history.

Sex To Feelings: 0 on its own i can take it or leave it

Slowburn: 4 asdfghjkl love love love but lord the time and stamina lessens everyday

Soulmates: 2 for me?? very very appealing when paired with like multiverse red string type shit but less so with other stuff

tagging! (with 0 pressure): @writerkenna @livingincolorsagain @saryasy @firstelevens @thejaguarback @questinwitchface & whoever else wants to plssss

[im-no-jedi]

took a while to get out, but in a similar but opposite toned way to last week, here are my long, rambly, and barely coherent thoughts about episode 9 “The Crossing”

which are thankfully much more positive than last week 😋

where do I even begin y’all. the vibe of this episode really emphasized the end of episode 8 with its melancholy; we didn’t even get any dialogue for the first couple of minutes. all of them silently exiting the Marauder as just the four of them was painful to watch. and it didn’t take long to get into the sibling squabbles after that.

which, as I’ve mentioned before, was another great example of why I think this show does an excellent job selling TBB as siblings. the Clones in general have always been good sibling rep, but TBB does it the best imo. Wrecker and Tech’s bickering with Hunter and Omega pitifully trying to stop it was *chef’s kiss*. even Tech and Hunter hounding Omega about being careful with the ipsium was very “older sibling trying to be the parent”, especially with Omega’s mocking responses LOL. I mean, we even finally got a confirmation that they see each other as family! finally!! thank you Omega!! \o/

speaking of Omega! my girl has really learned how to express herself, as we saw with her rant in episode 8, and I’m glad she was letting her feelings out to the boys. yes, she was overly emotional, but it was understandable! she’s still a child, and it’s hard to process loss without getting emotional, trust me.

that being said, it’s still unfortunate that the boys aren’t the same way. Wrecker has been the only one who’s ever been comfortable showing his emotions and feelings, but even so, he clearly still struggles with it. I really hope we get to a point where the boys are able to open up more (although they admittingly have improved since the beginning thanks to Omega).

now for some specific moments I enjoyed or were just notable to me. 

firstly, Hunter’s spidey senses going off not once, not twice, but THREE times this episode. oh Lordy. if I didn’t know he had enhanced senses, I woulda thought he was freaking Force sensitive with how in tune he was with what was going on. him sensing that something had happened to Omega and Tech? hello?? is he really THAT sensitive, or was that his Dad™ senses going into overdrive LOL

next, I obviously have to talk about the Lion King stampede (thank you Kiners for the blatant spoilers ROFL). OMG I felt so bad for Wrecker, poor baby. him complaining about his back afterwards was a MOOD. and then the exchange with him and Tech, “why don’t YOU carry it?” “fine.” I laughed SO hard, peak sibling humor 😂👌🏻 Hunter holding onto the wire tho... Lord have mercy 🥵

and now circling back to Hunter again cause I’m not done talking about my man yet. can we just appreciate how well he was able to keep himself together in this episode with all the chaos? he could’ve easily joined in with the bickering or gotten frustrated, as we saw him do in “Entombed”. but no, he stayed calm the whole time, even when confronting Tech about his behavior. the only time he actually got frustrated was with Cid (rightfully so). I know that man is a boiling pot of emotions inside, but still he remains the calm and collected leader, keeping everyone on track and not escalating anything further. my man... I love him so much 😩💙

last specific thing I wanna mention cause OMG am I still mad about it. Cid. what. the. HECK. as someone who has loved this character since we first saw her, I’m with TBB (and the rest of the fandom!) on this one. she crossed a line. I gave her the benefit of the doubt with the riot racing, but this was TOO far. she’s gonna catch these hands fr 😤

ok! now I’ll talk about the more serious subjects again. I’ve got two things I wanna talk about because hoo boy, do they relate to me personally.

I wanna talk about the subject of loss and dealing with trauma. if you read my post from last week, you’ll know that I was absolutely devastated by the loss of Echo, regardless of it being temporary or not. it brought me down to one of the lowest points I’ve been at in YEARS. so yeah, having this episode showcase Omega (and the others) going through the exact same thing? yeah.

honestly? I needed that. I needed to have my own feelings validated as much as Omega did, and I got exactly that. Omega wasn’t just upset, she was angry and hurt and worried and didn’t know how to handle all of those emotions at once. it was way too real. that’s what trauma does to you; it gives you way too many emotions to process all at once, so it often comes out in unpleasant ways. I’ve learned to process my own feelings through years of therapy, but clearly it’s still something I struggle with. and I always will. that’s just how trauma works. and I think this subject was portrayed perfectly in this episode.

and now, the absolute cherry on top for this already perfect and beautiful episode... my boy Tech.

I’m not kidding when I say I’m getting emotional writing this cause umm... YEAH

so I’ve been labelling myself as neurodivergent for a few years now. I began to suspect I might have ADHD back in like, 2019 I think, and since then, I’ve also strongly suspected I might just be overall autistic. I haven’t gotten an official diagnosis yet but... I know I’m somewhere on the spectrum, I have to be. and this show has been one of the things that’s helped me realize that. I’ve been 100% behind the “Tech is autistic” train since the early days of the show. I also strongly believe the entire squad is neurodivergent in some way, even Echo and Omega. mostly because I can relate to them in many ways in terms of behavior. I’m not gonna get into a discussion about that here though, I’ll save it for another post✨

the bottom line though is that me being able to see myself in these characters has been one of the major reasons I love the show so much. so now having this canon confirmation about Tech has made me absolutely ecstatic.

after we were done with the episode, @jam-n-ham were talking (as we always do), and she had a hard time getting behind the idea of Tech basically being confirmed autistic. but as we talked about it, she realized that the whole issue between Omega and Tech mirrored a lot of issues she and I have had in the past. and the convo between the two of them by the water was extremely similar to convos she and I have had in the past. again, I myself am not officially diagnosed but... I’m just sayin’ 😬

so uhh, yeah. I’m obviously very happy about this, to the point where I can’t even be sad about them being currently stranded on that planet for who knows how long. the well-done portrayal of Omega’s grief coupled with canon neurodivergent Tech has uplifted me to the point where I literally can’t be sad anymore. this episode gave me hope, y’all. which is why I’m not worried about them. I know they’re all gonna be ok in the end. they have to be. they will be.

cause even when you’re grieving or dealing with mental illness... you still can have hope. it’s gonna be ok 💙💙💙

oh, and one more actual last final thing I wanna say. because of this episode, I’m no longer worried about getting an official diagnosis for my mental illness. in fact, I plan on talking to my therapist about it and seeing if I can schedule an appointment to get checked out. I’ve been debating about doing it for a couple years, and now I’ve finally got the courage to do it. so yeah. that’s a thing 😊

[dovveri]

no yeah, i felt kinda stupid after writing that I liked children and had a good relationship with them to justify not liking the movie- it should be common sense. I said that mostly cuz when i read comments about the movie a lot of people were saying that they didn't like it cuz they were parents or worked with kids so it was disgusting for them to see that thing portrayed on the big screen. And yeah, imo i think this also leads into the "I like younger women" discourse where 40 year old men say that they prefer to be with an 18 year old because they're more 'innocent' (which is just so idiotic and disgusting cuz they're chasing this 'purity' that is just- ) No like, that piece of media/literature is actually really good cuz it talks about some stuff that is really important to understand. Imo it's a good literary piece (specially cuz it has an unreliable narrator) even tho it deals with really heavy topics. The thing is, this thing being popularized during the bear vs man discourse is so harmful because of those men who then go on to shame Ellen and generalize her experience. Then when women say that they can relate to an extent her character and feel more empathetic to her case THEY GO BALLISTIC? LIKE OH NO WOMEN ARE RELATING TO WOMEN???? And like, it wasn't her choice per se? she had no other choice and it wrecked her. The narrator of the story after that is always resenting her for doing that AS IF IT WAS HER CHOICE, LIKE- and yes fr. Tbh, I've grown tired of talking about the sex work industry with some men cuz it's just disgusting talking about it with them cuz some are so out of touch that it's horrifying. I forgot but I rly agree w you on the lust and anger thin separation Like, it's the same with love and hate? In a way? Like, for example, Hamlet is a great example of both (btw I hate him, he's a little bitch. If you like him I'm sorry, not really, but yeah) cuz he goes from loving someone to hating/despising them in a second. Like, in the play with ophelia it's all "oh but he really thought she was going to betray him!" Yeah so him being a little bitch, an asshole and a big misogynist saying she was being prostituted by her own father is ok😀 or him saying that she should go to indeed prostitute herself cuz she isn't pure is ok (this was all stuff GROWN MEN IN MY CLASS SAID) And also, in this line of thought of lust and anger, Hamlet (play) deals with pseudo-incest and incest themes😭 like so many innuendos it's honestly surprising how many people in my class never pointed it out? But like, Hamlet is constantly talking about his uncle and his mother's sex life (he's obsessed) and he hates them so much for it, especially his mother. There is a scene tho, where he goes to confront her and he says that he had once loved her and would love her still if she had not 'bed' her husband's brother. But it's so full of sexual innuendo on his part- like he's attracted to her? But he's also always wishing her ill. Idk it's really weird and when you talked about lust and anger I remembered this

This might be a bit confusing😭 I just woke up from my nap (I love being on break. It's the best thing ever)

ALSO HOW ARE YOU

HAHAHAHA NO ITS NOT CONFUSING I LOVE HEARING UR THOUGHTS ur so right on everything again 🗣️🗣️ and i never studied hamlet actually or watched anything to do w hamlet AHHSHAHA and im sorry? hamlet wanted to fuck his mom what 😭 i wonder if freud read hamlet he woulda had a field day

IM OKAAAAYYYYYY its getting closer to finals so ive been buzy trying not to fail 😫 im going to a friends birthday tmr tho and the theme is ‘overdressed’ WHICH EATS i love that theme its kinda giving met gala but we care abt palestine KSKDKSKA but i still havent decided what ill be wearing yet but thats sth im looking forward to 😁 HRUUUUU!!??

[citrus-shygal]

Was gonna type a whole post on why we wouldn't be getting a sequel/remake to T*m*d*chi L*fe because I fr thought no one knew why it hasn't happened yet

But no, people do. Maybe not everyone. But enough for me to know I'm not the only one who actually payed attention when it came to 3DS

Prequel Tl;dr Big company sucks who woulda thought

Tl;dr Nintendo promised to add gay relationships in the next game and sees being gay as political, but doesn't want to make a political statement so they can have as many customers as possible

>can't add gay relationships because it'll alienate the freaks that don't even play their games

>can't not add gay relationships because they'd be going back on their promise

Note: I don't agree with this line of reasoning. I think they should suck it up and just add the fucking feature because these insects will complain about anything they deem "woke" anyway. I am a pan trans girl who got bored of the 3ds game but still wants some sort of continuation and loves Miis. If you read this and assume I'm one of those people who are -phobic and don't want gays in my video games - you yourself are a barstool covered in ticks.

[domjaehyun]

this latest haechan fic was so cute!!!! i literally loved every second of it. like haechan was so sweet and charming and i too would’ve gotten flustered if he was making all that eye contact with me lmaoo . and i couldn’t help but fan girl over the michael jackson mentions bc i too am a HUGE michael fan💖 this fic also made me crave mandarins (i ate about 3 reading this lol) . and that part where they’re watching movies on her bed and haechan calls her babe .. oh he would’ve gotten that gawk gawk 3000 from me! AND THE MANDARIN CHARM BRACELET WAS SO CUTE🥹 and i laughed at the home depot part bc i work there and i hate it 😭😭. but overall this fic was a 1000000/10 you did that!!! you’re such a queen! ~ 🧠

IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT OMG :’) i had to mention him i had to im glad u understand :D STOP I ATE SO MANY WHILE WRITING THIS FIC 😭😭😭 and no i agree i woulda sucked the soul outta him 🤷🏽‍♀️ THANK YOU UGH i really do feel like i’m not a great gift giver so thinking of gifts for these characters was hard fr so i was like . haechan’s and hers will be thoughtful and then we will have some silly ones :) THAAAANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT FR

[polydeuces]

Beautiful Feeling

Matthew gray Gubler x fem! Reader

chapter 6 : just a little longer

faceclaim – elsa hosk

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

liked by mggupdates, enews, tmz, and 597,968 others

@keepingupwiththegublers : Fashion icon, Y/n L/n, seen strutting around New York City. The vultures (aka paparazzi) caught up with her. She was immediately bombarded by questions; and she answered none of them. Just kept walking. Badass energy we all aspire to have.

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mggupdates: icon.

justy/n: she’s so strong like the things they were yelling at her woulda made me slap them. she deserves better but she handled it like a boss

enews: paparazzi by lady gaga energy

everyonelovesy/n: I know gube was listening to cinema and thinking of y/n i just KNOW it 💅

y/nsbigtoe: I’m so in love with this woman

purpletiegublerguy: I love her sense of style honestly like gube and y/n/n have the best outfits ever!

gublerarchive: omg i saw the video!!!! they were being so intrusive.. asking her questions about her pregnancy and her sex life and just everything personal.. gross gross gross!! 💔🤮

tmz: she is the king of not answering questions

liked by thisisy/n, danielhenney, tanfrance, and 85,724 others

gublergram: at home playing cards and listening to harry’s house. rest and relaxation before the baby is here. ps. y/n has watched, listened, and screamed about every interview and live performance that has gone on this week and in the past few months, in regards to Harry's House.

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thisisy/n: letting you know now that since H read that bedtime story i have saved it and will be playing it for our baby every night. enjoy.

danielhenney: Who won?

⤷ gublergram: the cat. she used her magical powers!

lovely/n: is everyone okay? because after this post i think we all, as a community, will be sliding down the wall..

spotify: y/n really said, “stream harry’s house”

⤷ gublergram: as a family we agree that.. harry only creates “bops” as y/n says, whatever that means.

j0shstewart: 🏠❤️

y/n’svinylcollection: stopping by to say that y/n better have gotten the some merch & the target exclusive / limited edition vinyls.. 😏 ⤷ thisisy/n: i did indeed get everything i could! been a fan since the 1D days 💙

keepingupwiththegublers: she’s just like us fr 🥰

ajcook: okay but how’s no one gonna mention y/n’s comment.. that’s adorable!

liked by gublergram and thisisy/n

liked by harrystyles, gublergram, karamo, and 2,848,924 others

thisisy/n: matilda - this song rips out your heart then repairs it and puts it back. to relate to this song and also be a mom is a whole other experience for me. i want my child to feel like family is the people and places that make you feel at home, that make you feel like you can be anything you want, love anyone you want, and chase any dreams you have. i want my child to know that they are free to grow and free to explore yet know that no matter what they can always come back home. family for me wasn’t who i was related to but rather the people who treated me like a family should. it was deeper than blood. as a mom, i wish nothing but happiness and good health for my baby no matter what that may look like. matilda is a piece of art, someone’s story, that is held carefully by those who feel it’s impact. thank you H, thank you for this song and for everything. and finally, thank you to my chosen family. i love you.

View all 958,685 comments

blakelively: 💛💛

ajcook: from one mother to another.. you are always learning and growing with your child. It's not always glamorous but it is the best thing to ever happen. you become a better person and love like you never have before. you will be/are such a great mom and we all have your back. i love you more than anything, y/n.

liked by thisisy/n

pillowpersonpp: this is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. sending you and your family all my love and well wishes.

liked by thisisy/n

aishatyler: so glad to be a part of your life!

karamo: I can’t stop crying!

spaceykacey: who’s gotta tissue also some red wine and ginger ale? I love you babe

harrystyles: Love youuu!!!

liked by thisisy/n

lizzobeating: I need to give you the biggest hug next time we see each other!!

ana_d_armas: You are the best mother ever, and will be forevermore ❤️

brittney_broski: GIRL IM LITERALLY SOBBING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OMG IM IN LOVE!! u spoke for every single harrie there is and every parent. love you mama, stay happy and healthy! ⤷ thisisy/n: you meeting and giving harry such a warm and loving hug.. that was for all of us in broski nation! love you lots! can't wait for the next town hall meeting 🥰

gublergram: i have never been more proud to call you mine. you are the strongest person i know and it is an honor to create something so magical with you. you are not the funniest (i am) but you're the second funniest gubler. to you. to us. to family.

liked by thisisy/n

vogue: your transparency with pregnancy and being a parent is something so many people will look up to and appreciate. you are a force of nature - we adore you! ⤷ thisisy/n: kisses to you, vogue! can't wait to share more in our interview coming out soon ;) xoxo

reblogs and comments are much appreciated !!

[myfemininedivine]

Hiii 💜 I was just thinking, how was your experience writing smut for the first time (i still remember the first time your wrote one) and what made you, what did you love about it, that you continue writing such amazing sexy fics?

Couldn’t look my mama in the eye fr I was acting like I was going to jail

I genuinely fell upon the feet of god and was like yo what did I just do rn bro repent repent

No but it was actually terrifying LMAOO the first minor ‘smut’ I did was for your silence echoes to me and it was just fingering and I was like 😮‍💨 phew man that’s all I can do! I remember I got a comment that was like “wtf give me more” BRO I WAS SWEATING LMAOOO

But it was like fuckkkk bc I LOVE the fwb trope. Love it. To my core. Hence why taste will be the PHATTTEST AU I’ll do. But I love that trope so…. that was my one shot of smut 😭 and I was genuinely like man I hope people get what im saying like… I had them do it in the car too?? Closer to you is my first ACTUAL smut and then I went on to write smut for the first time in TPD and then my ass really wrote star dippers which was just an excuse for smut like LMAOOOOOO the growth…

No but I actually really enjoy writing smut. I think I loved mixing emotions with sex, like it’s smut but it’s touchy and I like playing with physical senses and feelings, and words. I think smut can just be for play obviously and for fun but it’s also really impactful to a relationship to me? And just fun in general to write like shit be feeling incomplete when I don’t write it LMAOO WHO WOULDA THOUGHT!!!

Thank u so much for the question and you’ve been reading me for a while to remember that 😭 TPD didn’t have the first smut chap until closer to you and that was…. LONG. AGO. Thank u for your time always. Take care. ❤️🥹

[scalearmorbelies]

If Billy would have lived in ST3

He woulda still been an asshole well into the abyss and beyond.

If you like Dacre because he rocks the 80's bad-boy look, I'm gonna' just give the benefit of the doubt that it's because Dacre is very attractive and you're not one of those ppl who want to date Billy or try and "fix him"- because there is no way to fix that Billy mthrfkr just accept it, he woulda went down as a bitter man with a multitude of problems. The man would have died alone somewhere probably from smoking related illness or something else. I've read a fanfic AU where they had written in a character who looked like Billy: the mullet, tight jeans and all all, but without the Billy qualities & a different name. Would it be considered like a fan-casting over an OC? I'm not sure. But that was what they did and that's okay. I'm not gonna judge them for it. Let's face it, if Billy was portrayed by someone less good-looking, no-one would have done that.

I woulda loved to jack slap Billy fr & steal his car (RIP to that gorgeous z28 that he didn't deserve. I'm more of a 442 enthusiast myself but late 60s-70s firebirds are something else) . I think Billy got what he deserved; which was death, the happiest scene in all of ST was him dead, screaming in pain before he peaced out- but he also got to experience a small inner peace before he got clapped. I guess he deserved just that. Being someone who grew up in an unstable home I think he did deserve a small redemption for that alone, that's it, disagree with me all you want. I recently had a convo with someone about if Billy would have lived, what would have happened. To specify: They liked Billy's appearance but hated his character- so basically they liked Dacre, in period wardrobe. But my problem was that they strangely felt he would have become a better person & good step-bro that Max deserved but I firmly disagreeeeeeeee. Like just out of the blue he wakes up- and is like "sorry Max, here let's be friends" and max is like "sure! yay finally what I always wanted. You're da best Billy"

So let's recap on what happened to Billy: He was possessed, became aware of an alternate dimension, met a child who had telekinetic abilities, he witnessed the melting & creation of the blood mind flayer in a "The Thing/The Blob/Parasite Eve" style maneuver made out of people- perhaps they were also damaged like Billy in different ways to have succumbed to the MF? After all of this maybe he would change to some degree. But for the better? Don't really think so. Years of abuse doesn't just disappear over night. Another traumatic event can make it worse.

I'll make a HC post later on how I think it would go if he had lived. It'll be labeled as Cont. or as a Part II. I might provide the link in this if I get to it.

[ohayopoko]

yo fr, and it’s so funny to me bc niggas love talking shit behind anon on this site. like baby in the real world, you stand ten toes down or get rocked for being a pussy.

If you gon talk shit at least come correct but don’t come around here tryna read mfs like your own shit don’t stink like the dirt between a bitch toes

QUEEN THE READ WASNT EVEN ACCURATE🤣 shawty was way off, ha receipts wasn’t even up to date gah damn if ya gonna try to drag me at least do it properly na🥺

It’s literally the clout going to bitches head ong and I bet you if me and that anon hadda rumble in real life I woulda beat the breaks off that hoe and stomp out ha front teeth when I’m done🥵

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 10

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count:1843

Warnings: Slow Start, Language.

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Annnddd I’m back! so I know it’s been a while since the last update and I just wanna thank you all for having patience with me while I finished up with college, just a warning this chapter may feel a little awkward to read due to me just getting back into my writing mind so apologises in advance for this one. Anyways I’ll quit blabbering, Enjoy everyone! :)

This was my day of reckoning, my punishment for all the bad deeds I’d done over the past couple of years…I was finally being sent to school. Okay maybe that was a tad dramatic, but can you blame me? I mean who wants to be trapped in a building against their will for 7 hours straight learning about dead guys?! No sane person would willingly agree to that crap!

I’ve tried just about everything to avoid my approaching doom, hell I even went as far as hiding in the basement surrounded by cobwebs to try and get out of this, but as per usual neither Steve or Bucky took mercy on me, hence why in currently trapped between the two. “You are aware I’m perfectly capable of walkin’ by myself aren’t ya? The looping of the arms is not needed boys” I swear down these two are being more annoying than usual, and I didn’t think that was humanly possible cause these two are basically the living embodiment of annoyance. Steve turned and raised his eyebrows at me, shaking his head as he let out a small laugh, “Yeah there’s absolutely no way I’m fallin’ for that again, last time that happened it look me and Buck an hour to get you outta that tree”. Ah crap there goes that plan.

I’m pretty sure the noise I made wasn’t even human, it was a mix between a seal and a possessed monkey “I’m not gonna get outta this am I?” “Nope” and que another frustrated groan. “Is this payback for the time I placed that bucket of flour above your bedroom door and watched the both of you turn into ghosts? If it is then I want you to know I regret nothin’” both of them stopped and glared at me, for some reason they didn’t find that as funny as I did, and I have no idea why. Okay whatever you do y/n don’t laugh, even if Steve’s face looks like a slapped arse don’t laugh! A snicker slipped past my lips and a few seconds later I was full on laughin’.  Goddamn it.

Both of em just let out a bunch of sighs and started draggin’ my butt along the street, wait there’s somethin’ I haven’t tried yet…in hindsight this is completely stupid but screw it. “OH MY GOD LOOK A SPACESHIP!” I’m pretty sure poor Bucky jumped outta his skin, Steve ended up trippin’ up and falling down, I’ll admit that I felt bad about but hey may plan worked! So why am I still standin’ there?… maybe we try this thing called running y/n! I quickly pulled my arm away from Bucky and used my new-found freedom to run in the opposite direction of them, I could hear the shouts of protest from the both of them, so I decided to kindly ignore them and absolutely leg it.  “GODAMMN IT Y/N! THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS MORNIN’!” when were the boys gonna catch on that I didn’t wanna go? Do I need to prepare a firework show and blast it in their faces or somethin’…probably.  

I know I probably shouldn’t be smiling, but the feeling of the wind flowing through my hair as my feet hit the ground made me feel free, after so many years I could finally begin acting my age and enjoy my childhood. I finally felt content with my life, which is probably the opposite of what I should be feeling at this moment in time, considering I was currently making my grand escape. And to completely honest I’ve got no bloody clue as to where I am. I glanced behind me to see where the hell those idiots were, to my surprise Steve was directly behind me, Buck was somewhere in the back holdin’ his knee and I’m guessing the daft sod decked it. Why am I not surprised? Okay maybe I should of kept my mouth shut cause literally a second later my foot tripped over a rock and, you guessed correctly, I landed on my ass for the thousandth time!

“Sh*t! Cr*p! B*lls! That f**king hurt!” and that ladies and gentlemen is my fine command of the queens English, a groan of pain made me loose my train of thought as I turned my head to Steve, to put it simply he was laid flat on his back with his eye closed. Well there’s the rush of guilt I’ve been waiting for, “Sh*t Steve I’m sorry, you okay down there tough guy?” I quickly offered him my hand to help him up, I mean it’s the least I could do. Steve’s hand grabbed mine, a not so quiet grunt of pain made me feel even worse, quick question why am I such an assh*le at times? “Yeah, I’m fine y/n, don’t worry about it you know for a fact I’ve had worse” a quiet sigh left my lips as I brought him in for a hug, which was a tiny bit awkward due to the height difference. Once we pulled away from each other, I couldn’t supress the need to check him for anymore injuries, much to Steve’s embarrassment and Bucky’s amusement, “Jesus I’m gonna have to start wrapping ya up in blankets and pillows, Steve how the hell did you manage to get a bruise on your ear?!”

The sudden gasp behind me pretty much answered the question for me, it’s safe to say barney boy is in trouble…for the first in my life Bucky looks pretty f**king terrified of me, perfect. Slowly I started inching towards him, the glare I was sending him would probably make a demon cry for his mum…so yeah imma go kill the boy. I didn’t even have to say anything, he just started runnin’, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT HE STOLE MY FR**KING PUDDIN’ AND THE PUNK KNOWS I LOVE MY PUDDIN!’” YEP DEFINITELY KILLIN’ HIM “HE IS A SMALL AND GENTLE BOY HOW IN THE NAME OF HELL CAN YOU EVEN THINK OF LAYIN’ A HAND ON ‘IM?!” god this sounds like a bleeding soap opera.

 At this point I wouldn’t be surprised of someone called the cops on us, all everyone woulda seen was a big lad runnin’ for his life as a small lass tried to murder him while a smaller lad ran after the pair yellin’ for em to quit it.  Now that I think about, that’s actually hilarious. Wait, where was I? ah yes the murdering of one James Barnes…okay that is not a normal sentence I am aware. “HE.STOLE.MY.PUDDIN’! THAT A CRIME WORTHY OF DEATH!” oh for f**ksake “HOW THE HELL DO YA KNOW IT WAS HIM?! DID YOU NOT THINK IT COULDA BE BECCA?!” I think he made a sudden realisation, cause the dumbass stopped running and BOOM I was on the freakin’ floor. Again. We both groaned, mine was mostly in annoyance more than anything, but seriously the bloody floor is quickly becoming me best mate! “…. It just dawned on me that that could be a possibility…” if my neck twisted any quicker I’m 100% sure that I’d end up doin’ that weird owl thing “Oh now you realise?! Ya gonna say sorry to Steve or not?” a few seconds of silence gave me my answer. “Don’t give me that look y/n! I ain’t doing s**t till I’ve got some evidence so he’s still under my list of suspects!” oh my Jesus Christ this is gonna be the day I get arrested for murder isn’t it?

“Barnaby…you have exactly five seconds to run for your life so I highly recommend you get your affairs in order and kiss ya ass goodbye” oh hey look at that I didn’t yell at him! Well done me I’m so proud! “could you two quit trying to kill each other for 5 minutes?! We’re already late enough as is it and I ain’t explainin’ to the teacher why Buck’s outta it on the floor!” my f**kin god Steve just yelled! At me! why do I never have a camera when this s**t happens?  “Jeez, alright I’ll murder him later, calm your damn t*ts Rogers” and cue the sound of barely contained frustration in 3,2,1….

“I’m beginning to get the feelin’ that you don’t like me y/n” oh really? I wonder what gave that away “wow you catch on quickly don’t ya Barnaby?” by the looks of things I’m really doing wonders for his ego, buck’s head looks like it’s gotten smaller so the risk of him turning into a hot air balloon’s gone down. The feeling of a pair of eyes glaring at the back of my head once again reminded me that the blonde boy was quickly getting tired of our crap, my worst fears were confirmed once I met Steve’s surprisingly intimidating glare…how he manages to be both adorable and beyond f**king terrifying is a mystery to me. “Okay I’m comin’ just stop staring at me like I just murdered your kitten!” and the little s**t has the nerve to smirk and look pleased with himself, ugh he’s been hanging ‘round me and Bucky too long that’s for sure.

“Ya know Buck and you are gonna be the death of me” right do I be offended or pleased with that statement? “actually, if anything it’s gonna be the pair of you that send me to an early grave cause god knows the both of ya don’t know how to stay outta trouble” two muffled sounds of protest came from my left and from behind me, “what’s that supposed to mean?!” once again the point has been missed “do you really wanna know the answer to that? I’ve got my report and presentation ready on how you two are a pair of numpties”.

Maybe that was a tad harsh…okay wait never mind it seems I’ve learned how to fly again with the assistance of one James Buchannan Barnes. “this is coming from the girl who can’t walk five feet without fallin’ over somethin’?” as much as I hate to admit it the walking embodiment of frustration and annoyance has a point “what you call fallin’ I call floor hugs, now how about you pUT ME DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” wait when did Steve walk off? See this is what happens when an overgrown ape demands attention. I don’t even have to look at Buck to know he’s givin’ me that look that says, “what the hell?” and “I’m not surprised by this” at the same time, “Nah I don’t think that’s gonna happen doll” the temptation to kick ‘im where the sun doesn’t shine is too much to bare for me at this point. “And you wonder why I love Steve more that you” Buck’s face kinda looked like someone just shoved a whole lemon in his mouth, I’m almost certain that he woulda dropped me on my ass if it wasn’t for the fact that Steve came over and dragged us both through the gates of hell.

This is gonna be so much fun!……said no-one ever.  

Okay…maybe it didn’t suck as much a thought it did, hopefully my skills as a writer will come back for the next couple of chapters XD Thanks for reading ! :)

Rose xxx