#i wrote this about a week ago.. in the span of like 2 days lmao

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week (2024): Day 4

Prompts: AU/Movieverse/OCs! (Catching Up! I uh skipped Day 3 oop but I've got plenty to offer for this day! Which is...also late...don't look at meeee)

Aus WITH OCs (or as I like to call this list, my own personal indulgence corner. All the AUs/Movieverse stories I've read are ones that get recc'ed a lot already + I myself have already recc'ed them at one point or another, soooo let's throw some pure spotlight onto some OC stories! Even if a lot of it is connected to me to some degree that's irrelevant):

As The Years Pass By: A fic currently in the process of being rewritten/reworked but still chock full of next-gen Dragons Rising goodness! And it stars the one, the only, Jenna and Ethan from @rainofthetwilight!!!! This fic made me fall in love with her characters and I've loved reading/seeing/drawing these two adorable kids ever since!!!!

Dad!Jay AU by @taddymason: An AU so good I'm still catching up on reading it bit by bit to savor it for longer *-*)9 All the stories in this series are worth the read alone for the accumulation of taddy's character Kaida (a girl who needs no introduction–she's that awesome guys, trust me) but also the eventual father-daughter bond with amnesiac!Jay that is gripping and engaging aaaaall the wall through!!

I Carve This Poem From the Harshest of Storms: Another I'm not caught up with YET (a running theme for this Fic Week, it seems hgfhgfdfgds i'm sorry I'm slow and have a short-attention span). It follow two fascinating peeps in The Administration following The Merge, and without giving too much away, @theartsyswissapple ‘s voices for the characters just POP and make them feel SO real and it's been intriguing to read so far so yeah others should give it a try too!!!

What it Takes for You to See Me: A Spinjitzu bros story with added FSM and Mystake goodness too!!! This is one I've just started reading myself, but you know I love some throwbacks to Wu and Garmadon's past! And the OC here, @marhan-writes-n-draws's Amka, fits into the setting like a glove!!

Honeycomb: Gotta give a shoutout to @miqotepotatoe's Lucy while I'm here too!! Some short, sweet snippets of the Ninja Team's best (and most yellow) cheerleader!! I love her dynamic with everyone, and especially Cole <3

The Space Between Us: A very deep and heart-wrenching introspective into @k1ngtok's characters Lynda and Jamie, Master(s) of Space. It's story about siblings and bonds at its core, but also be mindful of tag of you're looking to dig deeper! (it also takes place in legacyverse technically but that's neither here or there I promise)

Flowery Language Another super funny and endearing story by King following Jesse (hey it's my boy!!) and Antonia on the case to discover who's been leaving flowers in Jesse's locker (spoiler: it's not Cole lmao). It's actually a semi-sequel to this old thing *I* wrote however long ago, but thaaaat's not required reading (though it does help). If you want more of a fix for the Jesse-Antonia duo + more of Jamie, this is the story to read!

Learning to Love (Again): Yet another King fic based in legacyverse (a coincidence), this one kiiiind of takes place during Season 2/Book 3 and follows Jamie on his quest to truly show his friends (Nya, Antonia, Harumi, Jesse, and...Olivia?!) just how much he cares about them through the power of love languages over the course of a week and it is AWESOOOOOOOOME!! Soooo many touching and feel-good moments, mostly soft slice-of-life with teenagers being teenagers, and is a great pick-me up when your soul is feeling sad ;w;)/ I advocate for this one just for the warm soft friendshippy-feelings it gives me alone!!! AAAAAA—

Something About Morning Glories: Jesse (oop there he is again) takes it upon to himself to comfort Jay after the latter finds himself concerned about something following obtaining his True Potential. A duo I desperately want to write more about but can't yet, so this little bit of foundation for their relationship will have to suffice for now ;w;)/

(and if you're still clamoring for more of a certain magic pink fool, there's plenty more where that came from; perhaps there may be a Jesse-Antonia friendship origin story on deck soon, along with maybe some DR stuff~! ...listen there will never be a good chance to self-advertise like this again!! BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! SELF-LOVE BABY!!!! *-*)9 )

In the Company of the Stars: A tale as old as time—a Royal!AU where the fair groundskeeper of a palace's garden (that's the OC) falls head over heels for the prince far out of his league (that's Cole)—except, the prince absolutely likes him back...albeit only as his secret, suave alter-ego. But is that really true—and, more importantly, is there bigger problems to deal with right now???? There's romance, mystery, good food, royal drama, angst, fluff, sabotage, magic, a whole bunch of flowers, Harumi causing chaos on purpose, Skylor throws Chad across a room, Jay goes on a rampage a some point, Kai can't flirt to save his life—the author just needs some fresh motivation to post the darn next chapter already because the ending's gonna be really really good ;V

[therapist-solarist]

writer ask meme yessss, 3, 12, 19, 23, 27, 30 ♥

3: how you feel about your current WIP

I'm enjoying it! I've got like four to juggle at once because of course I procrastinated and did not prepare for Shuake week very well. (Totally on me. I had time I just dropped the ball lmao) But i'm happy to be writing again. I had what was like a three year break because I was in school and now that i'm done I can't stop starting new things lol. I just hope they read well and that people will enjoy them really.

12: a trope you’re really into right now

Answered on previous ask!

19: the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

COFFEE. Most recently I did some digging into different ways to brew coffee and my god. there's so much to it. It's very cool and if you have three hours to spend going down a rabbit hole I fully recommend it. I don't drink nor like coffee but damn is it fascinating.

23: pick three keywords that describe your writing

Answered on previous ask!

27: your favorite part of the writing process

Planning!! I adore planning. I bullet point out my plotline, fill in the blanks and go to town on what I want to do. Or on the flip side I go "hum this is the idea lets see where it takes me" and just go ham and then re-edit. But that's mostly if i've got the writing bug in the moment.

30: share a fic you’re especially proud of

I've got two- my first is In Your Love, There Is Solace. I wrote this for a zine about 2 years ago (holy shit it's been two years WOW) called the @ DRÖMSERVER zine (look on twitter if your curious!). To this day it's one of those pieces I spent hours on at the time to perfect and it's got fan art!! On the other side of it I have my most recent fic I Said It, I didn't, It doesn't Matter What I Said Or Didn't. I banged this out in like a two week span after I graduated and I just. I'm sooo proud of it. Just makes my day.

[hideyseek]

6. 10, 11? For ur ao3 wrapped? Mehabs?

(im on mobile if something is weird. No it isnt)

bro ,,,,, im so sorry to report something was weird, i only saw this guy come in today he was not in my inbox before. apology for delay. but hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yes thank you for the ask!!!!! of course i will answer i love to fucking TALK hehe :3

ao3 wrapped asks

6. Favorite title you used?

mmmm hehe. i'm gonna answer this based purely on title vibes as opposed to like "how well the title fits the fic" bc i wrote a bunch of shorter (to me) fics without a lot of internal thematic happenings that a title could reflect and so i don't really think of anything i published that a title is doing very much work.

i think my favorite title of anything published this year is i wish you the wind just because ah ... what a phrase! no idea what this means but it sounds so damn romantic to me! really has a flavor of like ... bittersweet farewell!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

mmm, haha. well, two answers to this i suppose. on one hand, there was keep me here which unfortunately i wrote in about one day from nothing (and therefore had approximately 12 minutes to revise) because i was determined to post SOMETHING for that day of kaze week 2023. but the first fic that came to mind (and perhaps the most accurate answer, time-wise) was my drabble from week 2 of inception wicked which came together in about three hours total drafting, but there was a span of several days (and truthfully several days that felt like several weeks lol) between me initially having the idea and sitting down to draft. but like, to be fair, it is about 400 words so revising goes exponentially quicker. truly this shocked even me, though i guess really what this means is i already was primed with a bunch of subconscious thoughts about the dynamic in this fic lol. (you can read it here on the gdoc with the other fics from that week! bc i haven't gotten around to posting on ao3 yet lol. content warnings for: semi-explicit sexual content, fantasizing about a married couple, voyeurism)

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hmm ... i don't know if there's a winner for anything i published, tbh. most of the rest of the kaze week fics from january kind of came together in a span of 3-5 days depending on the fic, and most of the other drabbles for both events came together in about the alotted week. so instead i'm going to gleefully misinterpret this question so i can talk about my beloved unpublished nemesis project, narrative!fic :3

i hate that guy! (<- said extremely lovingly) i probably earnestly worked on this fic for ... 4 or 5 months of this year? had a nice breakthrough for some story logic in august / september ish, outlined from that through october, and wrote pretty diligently for most of november. (i did tell my roommate fully two years ago, "hey you need to watch kazetsuyo so i can make you betaread this fic i'm writing at the end of the year, i'll watch star trek with you in exchange". that was literally 2021 lmao. they have not yet seen a draft bc there has not been a draft worth having anybody else look at yet.)

i think the thing that has made the process of drafting narrative!fic so long is really just that, for the last two-ish years, narrative!fic wasn't actually a story to me, so much as it was a project into which i dumped all my post-college facing-the-future feelings and loosely tied up with a string called "i'm sure i can make haiji go through this as well". but then, due to various life events in april of this year, suddenly i came back to the draft and it was like: oh. ohhh, okay. i can see how this can be a story, actually. this is about haiji, as a character, as opposed to haiji, as a semi-direct proxy for myself. and then over the next few months i cut out a ton of stuff and reworked his main arc and now it's like ... a story, instead of just a bunch of feelings and events. which, truly, is only my personal marker for what i was looking for from the project. like, i personally want a separation of my own experiences from what is in my fic, i want to be thinking about developments in the fic as narrative choices the story requires rather than as alternatives to how my own life could have gone. (which ultimately may well be the same thing but its the headspace im in, for me).

and i think the other part is just -- i didn't know how to write! i mean, obviously i know how to string words into a sentence lol. but a LOT of i guess the first two years of drafting and then setting all the drafted stuff aside to start again from scratch like four times over, was me learning to like, figure out my own longfic writing process. (big sobbing emoji, lmao. i remember in my youth reading about maggie stiefvater having 200k of unused draft material for one of the trc books and i was like, how??? and now i am like: yeah. unfortunately i get it. not that my tossed-out drafter material is of that specific magnitude. but there is a lot of it, goddamn.) and now that i've got at least an initial / foundational sense of it, the hardest part is only actually sitting down and writing. (i say as if this is not also, extremely challenging for me lol). so uh, i guess i'll say here "maybe this time next year i'll really have a full draft of narrative!fic", and. we'll see how that goes :3

[angelicmichael]

Oohh, could you do number 10 from the physical affection prompts? "Lifting someone up out of excitement"? Maybe a pregnancy announcement or love confession with whichever Cody guy you feel most inspired by?

A/N: sooo I decided to use duncan for this prompt since I've never written for him before!! Also, I like a challenge so.. I made this both a pregnancy announcement and love confession 👉🏻👈🏻 hope you dont mind!! I hope you enjoy this dear anon 💖. This is a bit long and plot heavy hehe

~

Waking up to extreme nausea was not how you had originally planned to spend last weekend. What was supposed to be a fun weekend with your friends.. and fuck buddy.. only ended in you becoming best friends with the toilet with one too many plans cancelled.

You hated being sick; but feeling sick and miserable and guilty at the same time was beyond overwhelming. Most of your friends forgave you and understood why you had to reschedule plans. However... your fuck buddy which went by the name 'Duncan' wasnt going to be so forgiving.

Not at first anyway; you knew he would come around eventually.. give or take a few days.

Although, Duncans opinion of you was not the only thing you were stressed out about lately. You also wanted to know why the fuck you got so sick so fast.

It wasnt flu season, you had no reason to be sick, it certainly was not food poisoning... There was only 'one' thing it could still be..

You could be fucking pregnant.

Being pregnant in itself was not something you dreaded; being a mother was something you always knew you wanted to be, and would be one day.

The problem of being pregnant here had to do with 'who' the father would be. And that would be none other than Duncan fucking Shepard.

You knew it was him; you hadn't had sex with anyone in months besides him. Plus.. you two weren't exactly the most careful either when it came to using protection. You knew deep down if you were really pregnant at all; it would have to be with his baby.

Although, things still werent as simple as they seem.

Again, you really had no doubt that Duncan would make a good father, it was just the circumstances you two were in currently that complicated things.

He didnt know you loved him. You two weren't official, you two just happened to be really good friends who, you know.. had sex.

You were nearly certain he didnt love you back, not in the way that you meant anyway. You knew instinctively that when he said 'I love you' to you that he meant it in a way that he would say to his friend or family.. That's probably all he saw you as anyway, just as a friend or family.

That thought made you sick if you started to think that's how you can duncan could end up forever unless you or him made a move. It was a thought that frequently plagued you and even gave you insomnia most nights.

Those thoughts of you and Duncans 'relationship' are what caused you to get a pregnancy test. You needed to know why the fuck you were sick, and if those thoughts about you and Duncan were rational or simply your anxiety attempting to manifest. And of course to your fucking demise, it was a positive test.

You first sat in shock; and then you did the most stupid thing you could think of - you called Duncan.

Of course you didnt outright tell him, you only told him that you needed to see him ASAP and that he needed to come over to see you.

That was about 20 minutes ago.

You awaited for him anxiously in your apartment; you sat on your bed - fully clothed with a bit of makeup splashed on your face in a attempt to look put together. You were absolutely terrified to even think about what the fuck was about to happen.

Your thoughts were racing as you sat in the dark. You didnt even bother turning on the lights; the blinds were drawn as well. Sitting in the dark was kind of comforting - it made everything feel less real.. As if you were dreaming. Although, the anxiety you still felt reminded you that you were in fact, still awake. You truly had no clue what kind of conversation you were about to have.

You didnt even jump when you heard the front door loudly pop open, you had given him one of the keys to your apartment. You listened diligently to his loud footsteps echoing in the living room, as he gradually grew closer and closer to your room. Then, the door opened as you inhaled.

Duncan looked distraught as he entered the room. His hair was slightly disheveled, his outfit looked slightly wrinkled as well. Overall, he looked put together but the longer you stared at him - the more apparent it was that he wasnt okay. He wasted no time in getting to you once he opened the door, it almost threw you off guard at how calm he looked.. something you weren't expecting. You nearly laughed at how out of character this was for Duncan.

"Hey, are you okay"? Duncan asked, speaking rather quickly.

You watched as Duncan hurriedly but cautiously approached you; sitting next to you on your bed.

"I- I mean, yeah I'm okay. I just wanted to see you". You (semi) smoothly lied, thinly smiling in a attempt to try to sell your poorly told lie.

He rolled his eyes and gave you a look as if he automatically knew you were giving him bullshit.

"(Y/n), I know your sick, baby. Just tell me the truth". He said.

Your heart leapt into your throat once you heard him call you the petname. Duncan definetly called you pet names before but it was a rare, once in a long time type of thing. However, it felt like to you that the fact he called you 'baby' only solidified what you knew you had to do.

You had to tell him.

He deserved to know; and you deserved to move on with your life or to attempt too.

"Duncan.. I.. I cant keep doing this anymore". You started, speaking slowly. Your words tumbled fast out of your mouth, knowing that Duncan was about to interrupt you any minute.

"I need you to decide whether you want to be fully committed to me, or to not be in my life at all. I dont really know how to say this but, I'm in a stage of my life where I cant 'fake' be with you, Duncan. I cant only be with you behind closed doors. That's just.. not going to work anymore". You said confidently.

Even though you sounded confident, you really felt quite the opposite. You had no idea what to expect of how he would react. What if he just left?? What if he didnt want to be with you, at all??

You held your breath as he continued to sit next to you; the silence almost deafening.

You looked over at Duncan, he studied his hands which were clasped together over his knees. He looked as if he wanted to speak but he couldnt get the words out... until he finally did break the silence.

"So, what are you suggesting? What are you trying to get at here, exactly"? He prompted. His voice was still slow and calm but he sounded slightly irritated and on edge. You couldnt blame him.

Your mouth grew dry as you shifted uncomfortably. You were thankful he responded but yet.. you now were the one at a loss for words.

"I'm suggesting that.. we should start dating. I cant keep doing this-" You started but Duncan made you ate your words as he interrupted you with a rough kiss.

You felt the world stop and almost turn into slow motion as you really started to melt into the kiss. You let your previous anxiety inducing thoughts melt away the longer you two kissed, as you focused on being present in the moment.

After Duncan slowly and begrudgingly pulled away from you, you two sat in silence for a couple seconds.

"So that's why your acting like this"? Duncan asked with a sly smirk.

You swore it was as if he already knew the answer, yet chose to ask you anyway just to be a smartass.

"So.. you actually want to date me?? Your know what your agreeing too, right"? You said, partially teasing and.. actually being serious.

"(Y/n), do you really think I would be talking to you this long if I had no interest in you? Of course I want to date you, what kind of question is that"?! Duncan retorted playfully with a quiet chuckle.

You grinned, letting out a shallow laugh with the realization that the biggest news still remained untold; a deep pit felt like it resided in your stomach.

You weren't quite out of the woods yet.

In order to help relieve your anxiety, you suddenly stood up off your bed. You paced around your room, running a hand shakily through your hair.

"I still have to tell you something". You admitted, your back turned to him.

There was no way you could even fathom making eye contact with him now. To your horror, you could hear your bed gently squeak as you could only guess as he stood up.

By the time you felt his hand on your shoulder, it was too late to even hear his footsteps. You jumped and turned around with a sharp inhale - to your surprise, nearly chest to chest with the main himself.

Duncan.

"What are you trying to hide for, hm"? He said teasingly.

He moved his face closer to yours; his lips *so* close to yours. The corner of your mouth upturned in a small closed mouth smile.

You uttered a quick, "I'm not". As you stole a quick kiss.

You anxiously took a few paces back. Taking a deep breath before whipping around and making eye contact on a sudden spurt of courage you felt.

"I'm pregnant, Duncan". You spoke.

You felt almost as if you were dreaming when you saw his reaction, he was fucking smiling. Was he actually fucking happy?!

You stood there frozen as he quickly approached you and gently held your waist. Before you could even comprehend or really even complain of what was happening - you felt him gently lift you up and give you a quick spin before landing you back down safely on your feet.

Duncans smile was infectious; before you knew it you were grinning and laughing along with him.

Any doubt you previously had immeadietly disintigrated and was replaced with hope and joy. You knew Duncan was going to make the best father, and that you two only had your lives ahead of you.

~

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance

[maldito-arbol]

SHDHHRHENS OKAY OKAY UUMMM

The part at the starT about red,,, oh god they have all gone through so much holy shit 😭 Anne,,, what was She gonna say Mal?? WHAT WAS IT? Omg all the stuff with the gems 👀 tbh I needed more of all three of the gems interacting in my life, what They need to do to converge is shhebebbsjejks SASHA AND THE PLANTERS, SASHA AND SPRIG, SASHA AND POLLY, SASHA AND HOP POP, I love them so much holy shit holy fuck “He’s so small. She’d known it before, but where small had once meant weak and insignificant, now she recognizes it also means young, too young to experience this kind of pain, to see his sister bleeding and dying before him when only a day ago she was holding him securely in her arms.” THIS LINE >>>> I love it but also ohmygod the angst Sprig, Polly and Hop Pop falling asleep on Sasha 💖💖💖 “Did She suffer” MAL,,,, why must you do this to me Sasha is the new queen,,, whatthefuck /pos Beatrix is an asshole (Affectionate) Grime being the best dad <3 Sasha is absolutely getting her ass kicked lmao Strength,, tbh I feel like its was royalty in a past vessel (Maybe froog? obv not king/queen status but close to it in some way) Yeaaa ivy and Sasha!! I love them <3 Strength with the speech,, it is def iffy Tbh I love this whole part with grime and Sasha,, it’s >>>>> Strength Is also an asshole (affectionate) WOO ANNES KINDA OKAY YEAH Heh Witney My beloved Tbh I wasn’t sure if you were going with 13 or 15/16 in this fic so that clears up stuff (although it could have been mentioned in one of the other 2 fics but my memory ain’t the best lol) Sashha and Marcy saying goodbye to Anne ughhrghh my emotions The fluff of sasha and Marcy going to bed >>>> I love it sm the crown,,,,, yeah, THAT ENDING THO, WHATS GOING ON WITH STRENGTH

overall a very good start to CMTO Also I’m wondering how many words this chapter was? I read it in like 34 mins-ish so I want to know how many words I read

Nothing like the color of blood <3

Oh myyyy what :) was :) Anne :) gonna :) say :) *checks notes* mother of god that doesn’t get answered for a while—

GEM INTERACTIONS WE LOVE TO SEE THEM ohh I HAVE to do more of these I have so much fun with them

SASHA AND THE PLANTARS WERE THE ONES MAKING ME CRY WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER IM BLAMING THEM FOR EVERYTHING

Crowning Sasha Queen was SUCH a terrible decision on everyone’s part oh my god save this poor child— and BEATRIX. Beatrix my beloved 💜💜💜💜 SO excited to write her character going forward my god

Strength….oh Strength. It’s got some rather interesting experience that I can’t tell you about but it does have to do with the Froog :3

YEP ANNE’S FINE!! She’s a little Asleep at the moment unfortunately but she is Not Dead! Hold onto ur socks cause we’re gonna talk about her more in chap 3 👀

And OH, right, this is literally bc of the fact that they’re 13 in canon. I totally understand ppl wanting to headcanon them as older bc Braly wanted them to be older but AT THE SAME TIME it’s really fun calling attention to the fact that they’re so young when they’re being put through so much trauma :))) like I said before, I too was going through life-altering self-destruction arcs within the span of a week when I was 13 <3 I did mention it a few times before I’m pretty sure—the only example i can think of off the top of my head was in IBYBF chap 6 when the Toad Lords tried giving Sasha beer and Grime was like nOpe

Ain’t a mal fic if I don’t make u suffer over the girls watching the others suffer :)

The crown. Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Meeeeeee (no it’s literally so unsettling to me the mere fact that it’s. Sasha’s trophy. And that it belonged to Andrias. *shudders*)

I wonder what’s going on with Strength….. :))

This chapter was a little over 16k words so—WOW ur fast,,,,,

THANK YOUUUU FOR READING AND FOR YOUR ASK 💜💜💜

[paradigmsofbrittaperry]

⭐⭐⭐

I’m gonna talk about if I bleed, you’ll be the last to know because a) it’s one of my favorite self-written works and b) @withatalentforsquaddrill requested that I talk about it!!

two things right off the bat: 1) I wrote this the week that I listened to Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift for the first time and became so obsessed with it that I listened to it probably close to 40 times over the span of a few days and 2) I got the idea to write it as I turned off my light and was laying down to go to sleep. usually when I get ideas that late, I pick up my phone, type something out in my notes app, and get to sleep. but something compelled me that night to get back up and sit down at my computer and write until I was done (probably the fact that it was a weekend and I could afford to stay up late lmao). 

I usually write in past tense, but this was one of my first experiments with present tense. I also experimented with a sort of flashback/flash-forward narrative to fill out the details of the summer after their freshman year. I was able to cram pretty much all of my favorite jeffbritta headcanons into one passage describing the events of the summer, which I’ll put right here:

Sometimes, they go out to the little rundown bar a few blocks away and sing karaoke for a crowd that doesn’t have any idea who they are. Some evenings are spent with boxes of Chinese takeout and a made-for-TV edit of a blockbuster from several years ago, one that Britta can complain about and Jeff can defend for the sole purpose of arguing with her. And, on extremely rare occasion, they’ll stumble out of a bar long after the official last call, fingers laced together as they walk down the street towards a park that Jeff only knows about because a woman he dogsat for once wanted him to take her dogs there. Sometimes, he rambles about how he could see himself bringing his kids to a park like that someday. Sometimes, Britta clings to his arm and looks up at his face in the orange glow of the street lamps and thinks that someday, she might be able to say that she loves him.

a big part of my motivation to write this fic came from the fact that I still find what Jeff did at the Transfer Dance to be shitty. ik this has been talked to death over the years, but at that point, Jeff and Britta were good friends and he shouldn’t have let her face that kind of humiliation alone (insert rant about how he instead went to kiss a teenager that was emotionally vulnerable since she’d just gotten out of a serious long term relationship). I usually prefer the concept of him knowing that Britta is trying to piss off Michelle and giving a sarcastic, over-the-top confession of love to get them both out of the cafeteria, but in this case, I wanted to play with the idea of him earnestly choosing her while remaining emotionally reserved and closed off. I don’t think that Jeff and Britta are people who can honestly plainly say how they feel in most cases, so I also wanted to highlight the ways they say “I love you” without actually having to say it, my favorite example being from this passage:

“Looks like all we have left is Earl Grey,” he says, sighing as he pulls out two bags and moves to heat water up in the kettle that she’d bought for him. This summer had turned him into a tea drinker. Maybe it was because he’d become accustomed to the taste of it being on Britta’s lips. Maybe it was his way of telling her that he loved her without having to make his mouth form the words.

I wove Cruel Summer lyrics through this whole thing because I have brain worms and I really can’t stress how much I listened to that song within an extremely short amount of time. and overall, I’m really happy with how this fic’s story matches up with that of the song’s, especially considering that this is only 1.5k words long. the vibe I get from the song is that it’s about a summer romance that one thinks is doomed from the start, but has the potential to blossom into something less destructive if given proper care and attention. I feel like I approach Jeff and Britta’s relationship from that angle in most of my work; that they shouldn’t work together, and really don’t work together until they both have overcome enough of their issues to commit to one another in at least some capacity. I’ve felt like Cruel Summer is Their Song ever since I heard it and at the end of the day, this was really just an attempt to capture why I feel that way within a fic. I’ve maintained affection for this work over the five months since I posted it (christ it’s been that long?? time can’t be real anymore) and historically, it’s rare that I still like my work that long after I post it. hopefully it means that I’ve been improving over the past year and will not be as embarrassed of my past work as I typically have been, but it could also mean that the power of Taylor Swift cancels out the embarrassment that I would usually feel.

[unknwnxquantity]

There’s this girl I had a thing with. We helped each other get over our situations and vent about our exes, this pain we felt from both our situations. I kinda just used her in the beginning to process my back and forth rollercoaster with my ex, while she genuinely cared for me as a person, even if it was just being my friend. I used her and hurt her. But we had this connection thru txt that was one of the most bizzare things Ive encountered: in the beginning of our txting it was as if I was talking back to myself; like I was her and typed out each response. Over the course of a little over a month, we went from me always ghosting her and talking to her when it was convenient, to her getting fed up with my excuses and basically said in so many words, “listen this is the last time I’m gonna try with u but I wanna hook up, u have until 7 tonight to respond back about what u wanna do.” And so... we hooked up in her car. Four hours into the night, until 330am.

Hooking up with her, we’ll call her IR, was a healing experience. My ex and I weren’t intimate for months and months until we broke up. She didn’t like sex, and I guess she was so hurt she just couldn’t trust me with her body the way she did before in our relationship. But since IR and I were both broken from our past confusions and circumstances with our exes, we just wanted to be friends with benefits. But being with someone in that way, the way our bodies fit like puzzle pieces, cuddling, opening up about some of our pasts, fully naked.. and just engaging on such a passionate experience, mind u this was the first time we ever met up... it did something to me. Being intimate snapped me out of the spiral i was going down with the ending of my ex and our situation. I felt really warm inside when I was with IR in those moments. And she felt the same too in her own way.

From then on we saw each other like multiple times in one week, like 6 times in total. Everything moved so quick, my feelings got so intense so... fukking fast. As did her feelings for me. We talked on the phone until 6am several nights, she’d come outside my house @12 or 1am and be hooking up until 3 to one time even 6am (I got in trouble but it was worth it). I met some of her family, she met mine (except my sister bc u gotta be real special to meet her) and came over to my house. I went to her sister’s place in upstate New York; 3 hr drive each way listening/jamming to throwbacks, holding hands, learning more of the other, runnin thru sprinklers.. she even thinks I’m her twin flame (she doesn’t fully understand the concept but I do feel a soul connection to her so I didn’t wanna shut her or the idea of that down), but the relationship she had with her ex made me think otherwise. We wrote each other two letters each to the other, both very descriptive, but with my second letter alluding to the possibility of me being in love with her. IN LOVEEE?! I mean.. I do feel intensely and reevaluating the things I said, I could see the confusion.. but she didn’t even wanna tell me unless I dragged an answer out of her?? She was being distant after that.. and also because things got too serious too quick, us professing strong feelings to each other.. and since the foundation of our friendship surrounded our feelings toward our exes, I had to really ask her “hey.... r u truly over ur ex?” And... she wasn’t. Here I was repeating the same fukking patterns. Jumping into something with someone so intensely , so fukking fast and not taking it slow; how do u expect different results by repeating the same fukking destructive patterns? My feelings were so confusing and complex for her, so deep yet kinda shallow. Like I wanted to fit her into this box of the person I wanted her to be in my life. I overromantize a lot and get so fukking attached. And then they fucking push me away bc I scared them too much. When I feel someone pushing me away, I have this overpowering fear to pull them right back in super hard. That never fukkin works out it just makes them lose mad respect for u and think ur a fucking joke or safe option (subconsciously). She felt for me but in her mind she felt I felt too much too soon, and she wasn’t prepared for such a shift. Neither was I but then here we were being intimate every single time we were with each other and holding hands.. cuddling. Kissing. Exploring. Inside jokes & synchronicities. I’m the first person to make her cum out of the ten bodies she’s had! I’m the first girl she’s been with, and she even revealed she sticks to what’s comfortable; which in her case is asshole men. I can’t hookup with anyone without developing deep feelings. I can’t separate the two AT ALL. Sex and intimacy is sacred, how do ppl fukk causally and not develop feelings?

Anyways in the end, IR chose to work things out with the ex bc she would’ve regretted it if she didn’t give him one last chance “like I kept giving my ex”. And that didn’t even last long, only like 4-5 days before he put his hands on her and they got in a big argument lmao. I don’t have those strong feelings anymore, but damn do I still wanna be her friend? Or do I like her? But she’s so cringe?? Lol idk.. I wanna talk to her tho. I really do but without feeling used or like a second option. She said I’m not , but I’ve learned, peoples words ain’t shit if it isn’t backed up by actions. I’ve already started sending her things even after asserting I wanted to be more than friends, nothing more and needed some space, but now I just wanna be friends.. she just wasn’t keeping me in the loop with her whole ex situation until I confronted her about it and I hate that shit. She always emphasized honesty!! And loving to call people out on their shit! But god forbid I do the same. I went back on my word even when I tried to place strong boundaries. I had to place them again with her when she told me about the recent situation where her ex got physical with her.. this is all just new to me.

I need to let time pass.. maybe it’s because she was the closest thing to a relationship I’ve felt to someone since my ex. I’m trying to really focus on healing myself, especially since all the other girls I was talking to didn’t work out or I wasn’t feeling them anymore. I feel I gotta be single for a long time, but I want her in my life, especially since she feels the connection too and wants to be friends. But is it disrespectful toward myself, like would I just be an easy go-to option? I don’t think she’s done done with the ex. Maybe she is.. I shouldn’t care tho. I need to be alone. Even tho I’ve been sending her stuff on ig and snap, I went back on my word by still contacting her only two weeks after this big thing took place where I found out she thought I was in love with her. I always see the good in ppl; their potential for greatness and to reach that. She’s on that spiritual path as I am with angel numbers, loa, manifestation and the signs/laws of the universe.. but am I just holding onto what was had in the past and not being realistic about the now? Did we ruin our potential by being engaged so soon? This whole thing happened in the span of two and a half months, with our friendship escalating in that past month and it ending like 2-3 weeks ago. Can I even be her friend at this point?? Does she even still think about our connection or has she moved on? I guess I’ll see, I’m just tryna make sense of it all.

[blacknovelist]

@skygemspeaks tagged me in a 6 facts ask game last week and, well, I kept forgetting to do it up until now. My bad!

Rules: Rules: share 6 random facts about yourself and then tag 10 followers apologies but I’m exhausted today, so I’d like to forego tagging. But consider this an @everyone for those who perhaps are in the mood for a tag game? It’d make my week if someone did this and tagged me for it.

1) To perhaps no one’s surprise, I’m still in university. I’m a fourth-year Comp Sci major and dual minoring in Creative Writing and Math, since math unfortunately comes with computer science most of the time and it’s essentially a free thing, haha. My favourite thing is seeing prof’s faces when I tell them because “those are very opposite subjects”, which is a brand of Bafflement I have gleefully been delivering for all my years here with the Eclectic Courses I Love To Think Of Taking

(my fave is still the advisor back before my first year, when I told him my spread was “comp sci with either creative writing or physics minor” and he looked me in the eye and pointed out that they were all VERY different, and then his double-take when i added that i wanted to take Anthropology for my humanities requirement immediately afterwards. He respected that I came in knowing what i wanted tho lmao.)

2) Okay this one i’ve mentioned but only briefly I think... I accidentally abducted a deck of cards from a community center in Ottawa a few years ago now. I still have it in my room -- I’d return it but tbh I don’t know how to send it back and it’s old as hell anyway? The story is that it was my last day at a week-long event called Encounters with Canada and I was gonna play cards with a friend I made while there, but, well, we ended up forgetting? I tucked them into the pocket of my bag so we could play after we finished our things but that time never came, and by the time I remembered it was there it was far too late. So sometimes I giggle to myself over the fact that I have it.

3) I’m one of those weirdos with flexible toes. When I was younger I used to make my sister laugh by picking things up with my feet or “walking” across the ground or whatever. The pinky of my right foot specifically was also very moveable for some reason? I could never do it with my left foot, but I can literally also wiggle my right pinky toe and pick things up with it like it’s my big toe and I still don’t know why.

4) My writing and fandom antics began, roughly, around the 2011-2012 era, back when a website known as TinierMe still existed. I went by pokeshadow55 and did a Whole Heckton of RP’s, both original and fandom-based -- some of the websites I made for them still exist actually?? I no longer know the login for the weebly account so I can’t exactly take them down. I also kept surprisingly comprehensive logs of all my roleplay ideas, the RP’s I started that were successful, my own character bios, and the character bios of other people who signed up for my roleplays! Some of those ideas and characters (that I made, that is) I’ve still used to this day, as OC’s and concepts -- my character, Rithan, is one of them.

(there’s a handful of usernames/nicknames of users from those days I don’t oft like to admit I still have in my mind tbh. Would it be weird, I wonder, if they knew I still thought about them however passingly? Am I remembered in anyone else’s hearts the way I remember them? That’s something I’m a little scared to find out, I think.)

5) The first fanfic I ever officially wrote with the intent to post was this ROTG alternate scene fic I did based off the original beat panels for the movie’s third act. While Homestuck is what drew me in towards fandom spaces in the first place, Rise of the Guardians is still what pushed me forward into posting and taking part proper -- though I didn’t get a tumblr until a few years later.

6) I have written roughly half my posted word count (on Ao3) -- which, as of right now, is 84k words on the dot -- in self indulgent Fire Emblem Three Houses content alone, in the past month. This is, roughly, a far more dense wordcount that I’ve churned out in the span of a month than I have in like, the past five years. Someday, maybe i’ll do something that can actually be posted again.

Again, should it strike anyone’s fancy, consider yourself tagged in an @everyone! I really would be happy if someone tagged me in this just for the heck of it, but I’m just too tired to tag anyone specifically. Nonetheless, thanks for tagging me!

[everbrilliantheartbreaker]

Fanfiction Reader Tag

Tagged by @eyeliner-vampire  ♡ ♡

Fanfiction Reader Tag!

1. When did you start reading Fanfic (How old you were or how long ago)?

When I was probably...11 ish? so like 13 years ago

2. Do you have an AO3 account?

Yeh (LadyWisteria)

3. Do you read WIP (work in progress)? Why or why not?

All the time. I’m not picky about this at all. I’m a simple person. I see fic I think I’ll like? I read. doesn’t matter if it’s finished or not. I’ll make up my own ending til it is lol. also authors need that encouragement. finishing stuff is hard

4. What time of day is your ‘fic reading time’?

Usually late at night (like 1 a.m. and later..much later) but sometimes I’ll waste an afternoon instead (2 p.m. ish til I either have to go to work or I finish the fic)

5. How much time do you spend reading fic per week?

Not remotely as much time as I used, that’s for sure. Anywhere from an hour (if I’m rereading That favorite fic) to 2-4 hours if my friend has sent me a longfic again.

6. Do you listen to podfic (fanfic recorded like an audiobook)?

I...didn’t even know this was a thing tbh, so no. Sounds very neat but also I don’t listen to audio books anymore bcus my attention span re: audio input has gotten so bad over the years I can’t focus for more than a few minutes. 

7. What’s your favorite fic genre to read?

AUs AUs AUs. and fantasy. and fantasy AUs (although good long AU fics are harder to find). I am a very simple person. I see magic mentioned, I read. I also read a lot of romance fic (proving once again that fanfic writing is often better than mainstream original writing, bcus romance is one of my least favorite YA/movie genres). I don’t read as much of them but I also love mystery and paranormal fics

8. Are there any genres that you tend to avoid?

Super angsty no happy ending type stuff. “Major Character Death” is an automatic nope lmao (unless the summary looks reaallyyy interesting or it was recc’d to me). Tragedy is definitely Not my thing

9. What tag(s) do you track?

I don’t track any fic tags (I stopped tracking tags at all since Tumblr changed it from “keeping track of new posts in said tag” to “dropping random posts from that tag into the middle of your dash, and usually the same three”)

10. How do you find new fic?

Nowadays I mostly just read what friends send me or the new stuff a very few writers I follow post, but sometimes I also come across stuff through Twitter or Tumblr and curiosity wins out

11. How do you organize your fic bookmarks?

I..don’t? Is this a thing people do?? If I wanna reread something I either search through my bookmarks by title/author or just. filter by fandom. 

12. Do you subscribe to authors or stories?

Yeh. I only keep up with a very select few of them though. altho part of that is due to several of them being people I followed on fanfic.net years and years ago and never unfollowed, even though our interests may no longer be the same. (the other part is me going “oh I’ll read that later” and then just. never doing it.)

13. What is your favorite fanfic trope?

fake dating and bed sharing are always good

everyone is gay. also Good

14. What kind of plot line are you always here for?

“everything’s the same but they’re soulmates” (oh my god they were soulmates)

mafia AU

MAGIC

I really like in-between scene fics too. the events and character interactions that happen off-screen. I like writing those

15. What can an author do to make you love them?

write about my faves frequently

cool AUs

write about minor characters

good sense of humor

16. What can an author do to make you avoid them?

not into mpreg fics

a/b/o fics make me super wary I usually pass on those, even if the summary looks mildly interesting. they’re rarely if ever done in a way that isn’t rapey and gross

don’t care for fics period that have rapey scenes but you’re supposed to find them romantic

adult/minor ships

characterization is a big deal to me so if I don’t like how they handle the characters, especially faves I probably won’t be back

17. What do kudos mean to you?

when I get one I have a few seconds of “oh someone kinda liked this thing I wrote” and then I carry on about my day >.>;;; (I do appreciate them tho)

18. What kind of commenter are you (No comment, short comment, keyboard smash)?

I don’t comment as often as I mean to or wish I did, but when I do they’re loong comments (I’ve passed the AO3 character limit at least once kshg)

I tend to quote favorite parts and then react to them, and I like to theorize and ask questions about character’s thoughts at a certain part or what author imagines happens before/after the fic

19. Have you ever stopped reading a fic? Why or why not?

Yes. Once because I stumbled into a very sexually explicit fic when that was. Not at all what I was expecting (I was also very young lol), I think there was a very few I quit because they were boring or very poorly written, but most often I “quit” a fic for the same reason I don’t do audio books anymore lmao: because my attention span is sht and my motivation and commitment are extremely fickle things. I either forget or just wander away for a bit and then forget. Often I mean to come back and finish it; it’s just a matter of how long it takes. (I also second hand embarrassed out of a fic so hardcore that it’s been a whole 9 months since I’ve touched it khdfgd)

20. Have you ever read a fic more than once? What is it about that fic that makes you want to read it again?

YES. This requires like a minimum 4 separate posts to really answer but:

Behind Bricks and The Penance of a Killer by Deathbelle

this person is my fricking favorite author ever and these are two of my fricking favorite fics ever, I must’ve reread Behind Bricks 6 or 8 times now and Penance is the BokuAka-centric companion piece to my favorite fic of all time that I always wanted 

Mending Bonds and If the Heart Breaks, Does That Mean There’s No Home? by RussianSunflower3 

Mending Bonds is soft found family fluff centering on a very minor fave of mine and If the Heart Breaks is very angsty found family fluff that also focuses on some minor characters and it always hurts my heart but the ending and the soft middle always heal it right back up (“[Hanamaki] has a heart big enough for everyone in the world, and then some.” ohhhh my godd)

Boiled Frogs by ReginaGalaxia 

this one is. a really hard read centered around emotional abuse and manipulation and hoooo boy it is a rough read especially if you’ve experienced any of that personally but it’s so well written and the character dynamics are great and in its lighter moments it’s fricking hilarious. 

(bits and pieces of) The Roost by Ugglabarn 

 bits and pieces only bcus Roost has a lot of very heavy dark content that I’d have to be in a specific mood to reread the whole thing because it hurts my heart way too much but also it’s one of the best Fukurodani-centric longfics I’ve ever read (PLUS AN AU..!!) and I love love how they write the characters and how much focus there is on the minor members and ships and in its lighter moments Roost is also really funny the most recent chapter was hilarious

Expensive Hotel by Crown_of_Winterthorne

smut. explicit smut. excellent explicit smut with loving polyamorous boyfriends and plenty of consent discussion and kissing. my entire jam right there

Class 1-A Whomst? by Ya_Boi_Hal

this is the funniest chatfic I’ve ever read in my life and the first good chatfic I ever read. absolutely hysterical. also has some really good serious content in the middle and some Aizawa dialogue that punched me right in the feels. 12/10 will read again. sometimes I just randomly say “Mineta whomst??” and cackle to myself

and back in the day it was:

The Flame of Betrayal by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity

I guess traitor! Tahu was a popular trope back when Bionicle fandom was at its peak?? and not everyone liked it apparently but I enjoyed this fic greatly every time I read it it was well written and had interesting OCs and I am actually highly tempted to go reread it again

and Asleep Beneath a Wheat Field by Feline Freak

this was a very peculiar little OC-centric one shot that was also very sad and I don’t know why it grabbed me like it did but I remember rereading it 3 or 4 times at least

21. Do you like sequels?

The fics I like don’t usually come with sequels but The Penance of a Killer is one so Yes

22. Do you like dabbles?

I guess? I haven’t read too many I don’t think but hey, more fic is more fic. Who’s gonna complain about that?

23. What do you wish more fic authors would do?

Write about minor characters more

24. What do you wish more authors would stop doing?

that thing where they latch onto one facet of a character’s personality - or worse, one that fandom made up - and write them as if that’s the only trait they have

25. Do you like one-shots or multi-chapter?

Multi-chapter. I mean both are great obviously but the majority of my faves are multi-chapter and obviously if I like a fic I’m gonna wanna spend as much time in that universe as possible

26. How long do you like chapters to be?

Usually I feel the longer the better. once in a while I’ll hit one that’s so long it’s kind of distracting but extremely rarely

27. What’s your favorite POV (point of view) to read (first, second, third)?

Third

28. What do you think of OC’s?

I didn’t use to care for them very much but as I started reading fic by more advanced writers I found several I really liked. have a very small list of OCs from recent fics I’ve read I would actually kill a man for I love them so much

29. Do you download fic?

No, but seeing as my absolute favorite Bionicle fic vanished off the face of the earth several years ago and I cannot find anything about it an y wh ere sometimes I think about saving my faves. I never got to finish reading that fic and I am absolutely devastated every time I think about it. 

30. Tell me something else about your fic reading! Anything else!

best thing is when my friend and I buddy read a fic and send each other our favorite parts

Tag!

@yaelathewordsmith and @samantha-girlscout  ♡ ♡ ♡

[here-s-the-zeitgeist]

February 2/8/2022: All the King’s Men

A few notes before I start. While I’ve been lurking on tumblr for a long time, I’ve never posted anything in my entire life. I’ve been on this website since I was in 7th grade, and still, I never once touched the new post button except to make a draft that I would shortly discard. This is more a personal blog for me to look back on anyway. Which is why I’m making sure my tags don’t reach anyone lmao. 

Anyway, I finished reading All the King’s Men today. I even skipped school because I had an inkling of a feeling that there would be a reading quiz in class today about it. I went to sleep last night with a plan in  mind, a rather elaborate one, now that I’m looking back, where I would make myself look as exhausted as possible, hair wretched, voice croaky (perhaps to even give the impression that I had the coco but not to a permanent extent, eventually, by the end of the day, I’d have to let up that I didn’t have anything or else I’d have a repeat of earlier in the school year when I exaggerated an ulcer and ended up a week out of school to my great detriment because the school wouldn’t let me back in. that’s why, when my mom texted me at work, asking for my teacher’s emails, I left her on read and made sure to never mention it again or anything close to it. I knew they’d tattle to the nurse (and perhaps rightfully so, since cases have been going up) as soon as they heard mention that I wasn’t feeling well.) But even the thought was a useless effort because I was apparently so convincing in my natural state of exhaustion that my mom let me sleep in with only a few words of exchange: “I didn’t finish my homework.” “So you don’t want to go to school?” “Can I?” “Okay.” And to be honest, it’s odd hearing that from her. Sometimes, I feel like she lets me stay at home because she cares about my wellbeing, but in other times, I wonder if it’s because she’s as desperate or more desperate than me in terms of my grades, or if she’s just given up on me being a good student.

Well, besides that I can finally start on my review of All the King’s Men:

My experience:

It takes forever to read this book, but that’s hardly a criticism. I, for one, adore long fiction. I love being immersed in long books, I mean, there was my obsession with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint which I read in the span of 2 weeks during this summer, reading it during the sparse breaks I’d get when my bosses were merciful for at least five minutes. I’d be in the shower and barely be able to resist the urge to reach for my phone on the wooden bench I have near my shower (and now that I’m thinking of it, whose idea was it to put that bench there? A wooden bench nonetheless) just to read the words behind the foggy screen which was itself covered in a spray of water. 

However, I did have a little fight with this book. A guest speaker came over a few weeks ago, a man who connected with ATK so much (as it will now be called because I’m lazy) that he wrote a book(?)/paper (?) on it. I don’t know. I don’t remember the details. But anyway, I remember my excitement leading up to that day:

For starters, other than Wide Sargasso Sea and perhaps Jane Eyre, ATK was the first physical copy of a book I’d have for a class. I’m not exactly poor, but I have a great fear of spending any amount of money and usually, my source of books is goodwill or... places online. Ever since I discovered my... online places... I’ve been reading all my books on my phone. I remember in ninth grade, my English teacher in the middle of one of his rambles he loved to call his lectures, made a comment on reading books on devices. He said that it’s a completely different experience because you’re less motivated to look back at what you’d read beforehand. While I adored that teacher at the time, I currently see him as a pretentious jerk because I finally dropped my rosy glasses or whatever that metaphor is, and I definitely thought badly of him as I was reading The Poisonwood Bible on my phone at 3 AM because we would be discussing it the next day in my 12th grade class and I was convinced that I could analyze it in great wealth regardless of his words. 

And I was right. The insights I made into that book were enough to make the smartest girl in that class call me a genius. Later on, while I was eating lunch close to her table with my own set of friends, she’d proclaim, very loudly, that I was a Girl Boss (that’s a quote) for having read The Poisonwood Bible in a day. (Although, she was also convinced I’d finished the packet that we were to turn in for summer reading. I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I didn’t say anything about that part. It’s scary when people start expecting things of you.) 

However, as the year progressed, I found myself burnt out. The Nickel Boys was our next book, and while it was absolutely a masterpiece (and I look back to it for my current idea because the storytelling is superb, wonderful use of chronology and God just beautiful book), I found it difficult to cohesively piece together over the glaring screen of a phone. While I could make notes on iBooks, I was less inclined to look back on my old annotations. In other words, it was hard to piece together connections. My reading of that book was a blur, and I would love to purchase that book physically to give it service.

Then, we moved onto Wide Sargasso Sea. I knew I had to change things up here. The experience I had with the Nickel Boys forced me to realize I had to get a physical copy or else I’d ruin this experience for myself and I’d disrespect Jean Rhys by not giving it a proper reading. But: I didn’t want to spend any money. So, I enlisted the help of my teacher who lent me one of her copies. Unfortunately, because of my awful track record, I practically dissolved the book into tatters—okay, that’s an exaggeration, but it really was awful. There was a crumple at the spine, and I was scared my teacher would absolutely loathe me, but no, I showed it to her and she told me it was fine, and besides, she had greater things to loathe me for (particularly, my grade in that class.) 

I learned my lesson from that episode and motioned to my mother a proposition in the form of a three minute rehearsed speech that could be summarized into: If you don’t buy me this book I will fail this class. Anyway, that managed, and I got the book in a few days’ time. Unfortunately, it was rather late in the unit.

On the other hand, with All the King’s Men, I’d enlisted the help of my best friend, let’s call her Eloise from now on, and I used a few tips I got from my job to buy myself a $5 used copy of the book.

Okay the actual reading now:

The premise of All the King’s Men was fascinating enough, but I never expected the writing to ever be that beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

 I’ve always had a rather pretentious dilemma when it comes to books where the editor in my mind either saw the story as focal. Let’s take Shakespeare for example. Shakespeare is a classic example of fantastic writing, and I will never, despite my constant ramblings about how we can surpass Shakespeare that I will inevitably write here someday, be able to write as well as him. However, whenever I read his works, I get a little itch in the back of my mind, and a poisonous thought bubbles into the surface: I wonder if he felt this part was weak too. And to be honest, I’d love to edit for some authors just to see if that instinct is right, because I get that feeling at least once (and more often than not, plenty times more than once) whenever I read anything. Shakespeare is a wondrous poet, but in terms of plot, he can be rather odd. I mean, I’ve tried my hand and I’m continuing to try my hand at narrative poetry, so I know firsthand how difficult of an experience it is to even start writing let alone form the entire story as you entirely envision it. At some point, you’ll have to cut parts of it off. But I recently watched Shakespeare in Love with Eloise (Shakespeare is not in love with Eloise. I’m just too lazy to use italics for the title. Eloise wishes Shakespeare was in love with her. She wishes she was Anne Hathaway. The cottage one. Not the Les Mis one. Or the Princess Diaries, is the princess in there named Andy? I was thinking about her today because of an idea I had for Andrew Garfield, maybe I’ll write about that too) and it only made it more glaringly obvious for me that: 1.) I hate Romeo and Juliet’s plot but God is the poetry great and 2.) Shakespeare’s plots can be incredibly cheesy and filled with holes. (My favorite play, Julius Caesar, however, from how I remember it, has a fantastic plot, but it lacks in character depth. Hamlet I think is more complete in that aspect, but its plot to me feels empty. I look for more from it. From other characters even. I wish he did not just give Hamlet complexity but also Claudius. But maybe that can be done through an actor/director’s interpretation of that character. Who knows.)

But ATK is the exception. Well, I wouldn’t say completely. Chapter 8 was definitely a weaker chapter in comparison to others, but perhaps I was just tired at the time I was reading it. I’d have to ask Robert Penn Warren to see if he thinks the same about that chapter. 

As soon as I opened the book, I was greeted with one of the best passages I’ve ever read in my albeit short life. He starts the book with a vision of a road, and this vision is so vivid—Eloise would tell me later as she was “cursed” she says with ability to write like Robert Penn Warren (she said it as if being possessed by an author of his caliber was a bothersome occasion she came across on a yearly basis, and to be honest it is. I mean, that’s what happened to her and Fitzgerald... Although the question of Fitzgerald’s writing is up for debate between me and her) that to imitate him, you must simply describe everything until you have nothing left to say. But I feel like that doesn’t even begin to cover his thought process. 

At the same time as reading ATK, I picked up the Writer’s Digest’s Guide to Good Writing, a collection of articles from editors and authors alike about the art of writing. One of the articles separates poetry from verse. Verse, it says, includes the little rhymes you’d use to memorize schoolwork last minute. What separates poetry from verse is imagery. And it finally clicked for me.

When that ATK expert came to our school, I asked him one of the questions I’d been on the edge of my seat about for weeks. When I first started reading ATK, I found that I couldn’t focus, but I wanted so desperately to, so I decided to read the text aloud. Something about that struck me. The rhythm was perfect. It felt as if it was meant to be spoken aloud, and I couldn’t understand why. 

After I’d finished writing a few poems for my next Revived Poets Society meeting (god I’ll have to explain that someday probably too but basically three of my fellow literature nerd friends and I have started our own Dead Poets Society and we read poetry (either from professional poets or our own) in odd places like isolated islands, abandoned ruins, near a mangrove forest, and my friend Lea’s bedroom (it’s odd because of her monument-wall-thing of Monster cans she proudly displays to any incoming guest)), I traded my laptop for a wonderfully comfy time with ATK in my lap. But that comfort didn’t last because readings of ATK are never peaceful. They must always be turbulent and chaotic. Because I was writing poetry, rhythm was fresh in my mind. As such, I started reading ATK like it was a poem, and to my surprise,  certain lines started rhyming. My clean copy of ATK was immediately ravished with sticky notes and underlines and scribbles in the margin pointing out every instance of this until eventually, the question arose in me or rather, I declared that this had to all be poetry. Eventually, I would look in the back of my book and see that he was the first ever Poet Laureate, and all I had to do was get confirmation from this lecturer that the entirety of ATK is a poem, and I got it, and when I did, instead of a great weight dropping off my chest after weeks of suspense, I felt thrill. This man, I’d decided, was my favorite author ever.

Robert Penn Warren is a master at imagery. He can make you visualize a scene to the point where it runs like a movie in your head, and even though it’s usually like that for me anyway, he fills in the gaps where others don’t. He doesn’t do it uselessly either. It’s never purple prose, not like Charlotte Bronte (I’m sorry I still love you) where descriptions sometimes have great consequence to meaning and in other times they’re just there to describe. No, Robert Penn Warren is scarily efficient; he’s a caricature of a Hemingway who went off the rocker. It’s fascinating how each paragraph means something. It’s scary, even. I aim to do the same thing in my writing, but I’d also figured it was impossible until I read this, and now that I know it’s possible, I now face the dilemma that it can be done, I just won’t be able to. 

A little bit of analysis:

I haven’t read anything about this book, and my class has sparsely discussed the book, so don’t fault me too hard if I’m wrong, but my view on this book is that it’s oddly similar to my own short story I’m currently writing in that it is trying to combat a reductive view of history. That’s what the neutral interpretation of history is, a reductive view. When you describe things to such a great detail, you leave no room for there to be anything else in that room other than the two women whose figures you grossly described and compared, the linoleum, the stereoscope, and the Bible, and the words exchanged within that space. And that’s awful. It prevents other viewpoints from entering regardless of how objective you are trying to make your report. I am in the firm belief that a statement can have feeling by virtue of blocking out other feelings from itself. 

Jack also does this in the titles he gives people. Not just his many fathers, but also his use of the Boss to describe Willie. It doesn’t even have to be a title. It can even be the name. Anne Stanton, this name, by how it’s religiously uttered in Jack’s thoughts throughout the book, we end up associating with purity. However, we know by the end of the book that she is far from a saint. And during that reveal, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m currently writing in the dark pretending I’m asleep, there was great emphasis on her name. Jack idealizes, no that’s not the right word, he makes the people around him into characters. He lives like he’s an author, lives like he’s not part of the story, like his opinions don’t matter because everyone else is the character. He’s just here to write it. He’s just here to observe. However, he is a character too as evidenced by his impacts on everyone else. He idealizes everything except for his current state and his future and that’s his greatest dilemma. 

Okay it’s getting late, and my fingers hurt. I’m signing off.

[haechanfairie]

yukhei pet store au

hi!! i wrote this as a birthday present for @yukheart and decided to share it on here! anyways enjoy :)

so every day one time u have a rough day right

it's like 2 pm in the afternoon and ur in ur car and ur crying and a spotify ad is playing and u are Not having a good time (this is highly specific but bear with me)

so you sorta like,, stop by like a pet store bc u love??? animals??? so of course they'll cheer u up

at least u hope they will

and so u walk in and it kinda smells like wet dog but ur kinda living for it

and its like, a Big store, and ur just tryna find the dogs right

it's like an Ikea like at some point you sorta drift around

until you bump into this dude who looks like he's having the time of his life

and u take one look at him and ur like,, oh boy,, that's a cute boy,, very tall boy,, hansom boy,,,,nice looking,, dude ohohh,,, boy

he takes one look at u and he's like

“hey buddy u good??”

and u sorta just,, grimace

and u ask him where the dogs are and he immediately is like “oop b i got u” and grabs ur wrist

he's got like…. really big hands?? and long fingers and ur sorta just in a daze bc a cute boy??? taking you?????? to see dogs???????? is this a dream?????

and he's going with a Quickness too and ur tryna keep up but he's too fast (somebody get his beautiful long bodied ass to the olympics bc ya boy got S p e e d)

anyways after y'all take like 5 sharp corners and 3 slides into aisles you finally get to the dog adoption area

and its a cute little pen with like dogs running everywhere being herded by some of the workers

and y'all finally stop to fuckin b r e a t h e thank goodness

and you look at him and u finally realize how much of a fuckin adonis ya boy really is

like he tall,, but his body his fully proportioned

he got shoulders that span as wide as the grand canyon,, and they're big and muscular and bursting from his pastel pink uniform polo

and the polo stretches across his back u can can literally s e e his back muscles move when he does its wild

and his ears are so cute what the fuck

he got like,,, really long fingers bruh… they still wrapped around ur wrist and ur like,,,,,,,, sweating hella

and his legs!!!!! go on!!!!! for fuckin miles!!!!!! and they t h i c k too and honestly ur getting tired of his beautiful self

don't even get me started on his smile djsbzjxjxjz it's so pretty

wow it's getting pretty warm in here anYwAys

you look out and all u can see,, are dogs

big dogs, little dogs, fluffy ones, smooth ones, and you're so like,,, really Happy about it

and you look back up at this dude who's looking back at you with the sweetest grin you've ever seen and ur heart is really warm

also u finally read his nametag lmao and u learn that his name is yukhei!! ur like,,, wow what a beautiful name,, for a beautiful dude,,,,,,,,,,

and while ur thinking all this mushy shit homeboy deadass just yeets himself over this pen’s fence

and ur like,, lmao what the fuck

and you watch as he opens the fence and the minute ur in the dogs sense ur presence and its over for you then and there

bc a bunch of dogs start running in ur general direction

but in particular, this one husky makes a beeline for yukhei and this other corgi makes a beeline for u bc its curious

and the corgi is the most adorable thing after and its trying it's best to keep up with the husky but the husky has no fuckin time to wait for a n y o n e only for yukhei big mood

and so the husky basically jumps into yukhei’s arms and yukhei??? doesn't??? topple over????? fuck kinda s t r e n g t h??

and the corgi finally makes it to u and ur like “:(( i lov u” and ur both having the time of ur lives

and yukhei starts walking you around introducing you to the dogs and the husky stays by his side the entire time sjdbsjadmfjdkj

u learn the husky’s name is gregory, which is weird, and the corgi’s name is lil taki,, which is also weird

and yukhei is all like “this German Shepard here is named teacup and this terrier here is named saint louis, and this one here is-” like he knows,,, all the names

and all his coworkers are like “yukhei?? and some person who looks like they've been through too much today?? looking at dogs as they follow them all around?? seems legit”

and like, yukhei is magical with these dogs like some random dog will paw at his leg and he'll be like “ah yes chester needs his daily brushing give me like,, 2 seconds-”

he really loves these dogs okay sjdhfjskdkgj

and you?? are having such a good time

lil taki is adorable and if ur apartment allowed dogs you'd definitely try and get him

you lose track of time and like,, realize that it's 7 pm sjdhdjss u spent 5 very well spent hours looking at dogs with a really fuckin hot cute guy and u can't say you regret it

and the whole time he was gushing about these dogs and being cute and everything

so when you have to leave his face drops for a moment before asking hopefully with a soft pink blush “hey u gonna come back??”

and ur like “fuckin,, definitely dude”

and so start to come back every other saturday for like,, two hours

and ur friends are like “??? why ???” and ur like “ :^)))))) ”

and then at some point you just start coming every week

and you and yukhei bond over a lot of stuff

he gets ur digits and sends u pics of the dogs when he can

he also updates u on lil taki daily

he opens up to you about why he likes animals so much and u learn that he’s studying to be a vet

and every time he uncovers something and about himself to you he gets all weird and blushy and ur like :( cutie pie with big fucking hands and long ass fuckin fingers    f  u  c  k

like he tells you about that one time his friend jungwoo slipped on ice then pulled his ass down tryna get back up and they ended up falling down a hill rip

or that time he got acrylic nails on a dare and honestly?? he both hated it and loved it (bc when he was roasting mark and he was moving his hands this way and that?? they were killing it) but he took it off after a day only bc he couldn’t type on his phone all that well jshdjsjdmv

like at some point you just start leaving together when his shift ends (which is at like 8 pm) too like y'all are Besties at this point

and all his coworkers are like “;^) !!” and ur like “???”

and sometimes he takes u out to eat like 5 things of large fries together at mcdonald's and y'all have a good time

he's always smiling at you :((

he feeds you fries sometimes and he's a l w a y s blushing and smiling and ur like ,, pls stop

sometimes y'all walk in the park and/or get ice cream

and at some point y'all get to platonic (lmao not really) hand holding

and he's like fuck it imma flirt

but u think?? it's it's a joke??????????

and they're all like lame pick up lines bc he's lame but really cute okay and ur like “akekekeke” and he's like “haha i'm serious :)”

like every time he sees u he's like “are you a volcano???? bc i lava you :DDD”

or like “do you smoke pot?? bc weed be cute together!!!!! :DDDDD”

like stupid lame pick up lines but they still make ur heart skip a beat

and he always complains to jungwoo,, a fellow coworker on his break bc he's like “they don't like me :’(”

and jungwoo's like “bitch,,,,, just tell them straight up and also leave me alone bc pretzel the parakeet is on my ass for feeding him some new shit and he's not having it okay i'm tryna figure this out dude”

and lucas is like “:( ”

and jungwoo sighs and is like “just confess to them like,, idk ,, a normal person? get them flowers??? chocolate?? anything they likes????????”

and lucas is like “ :D ”

and so after A Lot of brainstorming he figures something out

and he's like “hey buddy,,, :) let's go to mcdonald's” and ur like “lit okay”

and so after y'all get there he orders like 10 large fries and ur like “?? what the occasion” and he just grins and ur blinded lmao bc Wow

and so you sit down at a table and he stands to receive ur order

and then he hands u this letter and he's kinda shy about it

and ur still like ????

but you take it

and basically the entire thing is him waxing poetry about how much he likes u and ur like “haha w h a t”

like he starts it with “are you a camera?? bc every time i look at u all i do is smile” and ur like :’( my heart

he mixes a bunch of pick up lines into it

and he ends it with “roses are red, my face is too, and that only happens when i’m around you” and ur like :’’’’’’)

and while you read this letter ya boy sitting across from you stuffing his face with fries bc he's so nervous

when u finish the letter u realize that he's already eaten like three boxes and u cackle

and his face falls bc he thinks ur laughing at his letter (as if you ever would)

but then u lean over and kiss his cheek and he's like !!!! :’D !!!!

and basically y'all hold hands and are a mushy couple eating fries in a mcdonald's and smiling all cute and shit like wow my heart

and he walks u home!! and give u a kiss on the forehead :(( it's so soft

or instead of the mcdonald's scene

when his shift ends, he's like “i got a surprise for u buddy :)” and ur like that ominous but go off ig

but then u see lil taki running towards u and ur face lights up like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you pick him up bc even tho u saw him like 20 minutes ago ur still like “my child”

but he's got?? something tied to his collar??

and you find that it's a letter

and you sorta let lil taki go, who rund to yukhei

and u read it

and yukhei is a nervous mess and lil taki is pawing at him like “pet me b”

and when u finish reading it u smile really big and ur like “i like you too!!”

and he's like “oh thank god”

and u go to hug him and he kisses u on the cheek and u like :’( babe

and he hugs u and its sweet

and then lil taki starts barking bc he's like “pay!!! attention!!! to!!! me!!!!!!” and y'all pet him for a while before putting him to sleep

and he walks you home!! and he holds ur hand with his big ass hands and ur both just so,,, so soft   :’)

and when jungwoo finds out he's like “!!!! uwu !!!! good job yukhei u finally got ur shit together” and then proceeds to expose lucas for all the times he'd talk about you to everyone else lmao

okay i'm done sjdbdjabxn

[wolfsgravity]

I wrote a weird Hurt/Comfort type short fic with my S/I and Howl.

It’s like 2.6k words, which is pretty long for my attention span lmao.

We’re at a household dinner, all of us eating together. At one point when we’re all nearly full, Calcifer makes a simple comment on how long days can seem sometimes. I duck my head, assuming it’s at least in part my fault, and murmur a quiet, “Sorry you’ve got to make up for my magical inadequacies. I know shooting down my dumb magic all day must get tiring.”

While most of the table exchanges looks of pity, Calcifer fire-shrugs with a little smile. “Actually, your magic is hardly ever a problem anymore. You’ve made a lot of progress since we took you in, and I can tell you’ve been working hard by how few pings go out nowadays. Howl’s a great teacher, but you’ve learned fast for a late-bloomer.”

Howl especially notices the beaming smile that grows across my face. How I sit a little taller, like a weight has been lifted. He sees a faint shimmer in my eyes before I rub my face, muttering an “Oh shucks, you don’t need to say all that”. All the while, his heart swells with… pride?

As conversation goes on, Howl is contemplative. His eyes are casual, but he finds his attention drawn back and forth between me and Sophie. He’d only known love as he’s felt it for Sophie, but what he suddenly realizes he feels for me is eerily similar, yet holding its own charm. In a sudden movement, he stands, bringing the chatter to a stop as he silently stalks away.

Calcifer is the first to break the momentary silence. “I haven’t seen Howl storm off like that in a while. But I guess that’s his capriciousness as always.”

But it sticks with me. And Sophie as well.

The difference between Sophie and I is that she’s task-oriented. I tend to wallow. So as she busies herself with cleaning dinner and bustling upstairs to check on Howl, I help as much as she allows before heading off to my own room. As I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, those thoughts of being ruinous return, though this is the first time in a few months I could even justify such thoughts. What if Calcifer missed a ping? Have I ruined my own happy home? No. Give it time. Sophie can help him.

Two more days pass, and Howl is physically and emotionally absent. Most time he spends in his own room, coming down for sporadic meals. Calcifer seems to think it’s only a spurious mood, Sophie is busying herself with housework, and the other members of the household go on as usual, perhaps sharing glances when Howl appears as if to say Let’s not ask.

Sophie visits him, getting no real answers from him as to the source of this mood. He’s sweet as always to her, but she sees the gears turning behind his eyes. Finally, during the third night, she decides to get more to the point. She sits next to him on his bed, and as he lays a hand on hers, she simply states,

“You will tell me what’s been on your mind.”

Howl sighs. As if by compulsion, he begins to open up.

“Sophie, I know I’ve been moping, and I do wish I could stop. But..” he pauses, “it’s about Remington.”

“Are you worried about their magic progress?”

“No, no, it’s not that.” He chews the inside of his cheek and looks into one heavily patterned wall of his room. “You know how I love you so deeply, Sophie?”

“Of course, Howl. I’d never doubt that for a second.”

“I’m.. scared. Because, though I love you no less, I think.. I may have fallen for Remington as well. And I don’t wish to send them away, but I may have to.”

Sophie, of all things, laughs quietly.

Howl groans, gripping her hand tighter. “This is a very serious subject, Sophie. I don’t want to lose the life you’ve helped me find through your love and devotion. I just… can’t bring myself to tell Remington to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

Finally, Howl looks at Sophie’s face again, seeing a gentle stare in return. She leans forward and kisses Howl, his shoulders relaxing from the highly tense state they were stuck in.

She leans her forehead against his and smiles easily. “I love you, Howl. You’ve grown so much since I got you your heart back. I appreciate your concern for me, I truly do, and it cements further how confident I am in us. Remington is a lovely person, and I’m happy with them being here however you’d like them. I trust you to never lose your love for me, and I would hope you’d trust the same of me.” Then she grins, “Anyways, maybe having two of us would make you less of a handful.”

Howl blinks owlishly as she speaks, heart racing with two kinds of love in a wonderful dance. Slowly, he smiles and kisses Sophie deeply. “You truly are an angel.”

What they don’t know is that the very apprentice they’re talking about has packed what they could in a heavy backpack. I don’t know of this conversation, all I can think is I somehow ruined everything again, and to save the house I’ve come to love, I must leave. I tiptoe my way to the main exit, not even caring where the door will lead me. I hear a quiet question from the hearth.

“You’re blaming yourself, huh?”

Calcifer looks open but sad. His flame is small, as the house can rest at night, but he’s awake as ever.

“I’m tellin’ ya, he used to have these moods a lot, so I’m sure it’s not you, kid.”

I sigh, the sadness of this whole situation clawing at my throat. “Calcifer, I can’t.. I can’t stay here if there’s a chance I’ll ruin your happy family. Intentionally or not.”

He pauses and, his voice barely audible over the crackle of his own fire, says, “This is more than fear over your magic, isn’t it?”

I don’t answer, eyes threatening to spill over.

“Remington, I wish I could say something comforting right now, I really do. But I’m not blind, your… affection for Howl… can’t work out. And I can’t even say I wish it could.”

I whimper. “It’s pathetic, I know.”

“Not pathetic, but definitely sad. I haven’t had access to his heart since all that stuff went down almost 2 years ago, but when I did.. the way it beat for Sophie was unmatched. I don’t think that would ever change, nor do I want it to.”

“I don’t either,” I admit, tears falling in the dim light, “I love this place so much. I just… don’t want to stupidly ruin that for you guys. So I have to make my own way out there.”

Calcifer sighs, sinking into his embers a little. “I get that logic. Just know you’ll always have a home here with us.”

I hiccup as the reality of my choice washes back over me. I nod. “Thanks, Calcifer. Tell everyone I love them, okay?”

“Sure thing. Stay safe.”

With that, I tread into the darkness.

As the morning rises, so too does the household. Howl, bright and early, whisks down the stairs, in better spirits than the last half a week. Calcifer looks mildly uncomfortable as people gather in the kitchen for breakfast.

“Where’s that apprentice of mine?” Howl muses, sending Sophie a small smile, reinvigorated from their talk the night before. He wanted to get a little bit of magic practice in for them before he broached the topic of his absence with them.

Calcifer shifted amongst his fuel. “Remington, uh.. left.”

The room, despite the fire demon’s presence, runs cold. The ex-witch and the child both dip their heads sadly. Sophie’s face holds shock and fear as she keeps her gaze on Howl, who froze on the spot.

“They…left?”

“Yeah, erm… they were worried about the energy in the house… thought it was their fault. So they left.”

Sophie quietly piped in. “You didn’t try to stop them?”

Calcifer shrinks and squirms under the stares. “I did, but they wouldn’t listen. And I didn’t wanna keep them prisoner by closing the door to them. They did want me to pass on that they love all of us.”

Howl looks at Sophie, a confused and broken look on his face, and she hurries to his side. “Follow them.”

“The castle has moved, I wouldn’t know—“

“They are your apprentice, Howl. They don’t know how to cover their magic’s tracks, if the Witch of the Waste could track you using what little magic hints she had, I’m sure you can find the untrained magician. Go clear up this whole misunderstanding!”

He nods, life slowly coming back to his eyes as he strides to the door for his cloak and hat. The whole house watches in silence as he mutters to himself, a magnifying glass appearing in his hand. “This will help me find the traces of their magic.”

“Good, bring them home, okay?”

“I will.”

The two kiss and he departs.

He finds me after a day and night of searching. I truly wasn’t trying not to be found, but I traveled tirelessly by foot to reach some kind of field filled with grasses that reached hip-height at this time of year. There is a torrential rainstorm overhead, and though there is no thunder nearby, Howl feels a prickly static filling the air. Through the seeing glass, he can see massive swirls of yellow, pink, and purple energy surrounding the figure of his apprentice in the distance.

He tries calling my name a few times as he wades through the wet grass towards me, but my back is towards him and the rain is loud around us. He’s a few yards away when he finally gets my attention, the tension in the air lightening fractionally from my surprise as I turn around.

Howl stops his forward motion once I turn towards him, holding his hands out in gentle supplication. “Come home, sweetheart, let me explain everything when we get out of this storm.”

I wince visibly when he speaks, looking down and away. My voice carries flatly over the sound of the rain. “I figured out what I need to do, so please don’t stop me.”

The wizard tilts his head, taking a step towards me since I’m making no moves towards him. “Whatever you need to do, I promise we can all help.”

With a steely glare, I bite out, “I’m going to make a deal with a demon.”

Almost as though on cue, a distant roll of thunder can be heard. Howl’s face pales. “You— No! Absolutely not!”

I scoff, turning away from him and beginning to walk. “You can’t stop me, Howl.”

The air begins to thicken again, and real fear settles into Howl’s frame. He tries to run to close the distance between us, but finds himself fighting the grass for each step. He manages enough speed to almost get in arm’s reach, but as he reaches out, I yell, “I’m not going to stop, so cut it out!”

His heart drops as, mid-stride, I begin shakily lifting off the ground, breaking into a heightening sprint.

“Remington, please come back down!” He starts his own ascent into the downpour, but I’ve made my upward motion too uneven and unstable for him to keep up with. “Please, you’re not ready for this kind of levitation!”

“I don’t care!” I all but scream, tears starting to mingle with the rain pouring down my face. I stumble mid-air as my emotions nearly overwhelm me, but I keep my mad scramble up towards the clouds.

The wizard panics, feeling very real fear for me. I’m too high to fall safely, and he isn’t sure he could catch me in a pinch. “Remington, come back! Your heart is too important to barter away like I did!”

He hears a harsh laugh, followed by me mumbling, “I don’t fucking want it.”

At least that got me to stop, wobbling high up in the air. He makes his way closer to me as he keeps talking. “I know the idea of control and power for a quick deal is tempting, but you’ve been making such great strides on your own. Look at you! You’re flying so soon! I can’t just let you do something stupid like giving your heart away,”

I look at him, eyes puffy from crying, looking defeated. “I’m already pretty stupid with my heart, but at least this way, I’d be making the choice myself.”

He pauses, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

A sob wracks my body and I falter in the air, Howl shouting in alarm before I right myself and make another step upwards. “It doesn’t matter anymore, so I’ll tell you. I love you, and I hate myself for it.”

“Remington, I love you too, so please come down before you fall and we can go home—“

“I mean it, Howl.” I sniffle, “I love you more than I should. You took me into your home and I fell in love, and I’d rather sell this stupid heart than even imagine ruining your happy home.”

Howl smiles at me, the last expression I expect in the moment. My feet pause mid-step.

“I mean it the same way you do. I don’t know when it started, but I realized it when you were relieved of your worry of being a burden, even if it only lasted a short while because of my tantrum. I love your smile. I love how dedicated to your studies you can be. I love how Markl looks up to you and works that much harder for it. I love the way you toss things from one hand to the other—“

“No you don’t. You said that gives you a heart attack.”

“Because you did it with artifacts, without looking at what your hands were even doing. But you haven’t dropped a single thing doing that, and sometimes I see you looking at your hands afterwards like you’re proud of their dependability. I love seeing you gain confidence in yourself, and it makes me happy when it sticks instead of you devaluing yourself immediately.”

He finally reaches me, his hands cupping both of mine. My magic steadies beneath me at his touch.

“Sophie and I spoke about you, and we both want you to stay. I love you, and I’m so glad to hear you say the same. So let’s get down from here and go back to the castle, okay?”

I sniffle, calm now, but beginning to tire now that all the emotions came out. Slowly, I nod, forcing myself not to look down now that I think about how high up I’ve gotten. The rain lightens as he guides me to the ground, the both of us drenched, but smiling as we glance at each other. He leads us back to the castle, the path suspiciously shorter than it took to get out to the field in the first place.

As we step through the door, Howl calls out for Calcifer to get a bath ready, then looks at me and says, “You go first, I would hate for you to catch cold from all that.”

I silently nod, completely tuckered by now. Howl softly kisses my cheek, causing warmth to bloom where his lips touched my skin. There’s a commotion as everyone comes to greet us, but Howl fields them all as I make my way upstairs, given enough energy to warm myself in the bath. He’s waiting outside my bedroom door as I round the corner to go to bed, a warm smile on his features as he regards me.

“You seem happier now.” He states, making me smile. I give a small ‘Mhmm’, my eyes heavy with sleep. He wraps me in a comfortable embrace, my arms snaking around his back. “We have much to talk about tomorrow, but I wanted to see you before you retired tonight to tell you I love you. Sleep in as long as you’d like, you used a lot of magic today so I’m a little surprised you’re still standing.”

The hug ends naturally, Howl and I smiling at each other. Swiftly, he leans in to sweetly kiss my lips, before he says a ‘Goodnight’ and walks away.

I smile, a dopey look in my eyes, as I tiredly shuffle into my room. I unceremoniously dump myself onto my bed and almost immediately fall asleep.

[segadores-y-soldados]

Personal and Fic Updates

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these personal update messages.  I’m trying to get my stuff in order but life continues to outpace me, it seems.

The quick and dirty: Fic Stuff:

Moira has been integrated into the overarching plot of “And Overwatch For All”

Because of this, I am currently rewriting major portions of Old Habits.  Yesterday, I finished a major rewrite of chapter 10 (the “evil council is introduce” chapter).  I have the majority of chapter 11′s rewrite done and hope to finish that today as well.  With luck, I will start working on a rewrite of Chapter 13.

Shockingly, I’m keeping a lot of the “present day” plot elements the same (aka, all the stuff leading up to Recall).  But several major “past events” have changed, including Reaper/Gabriel’s backstory.

More on this later.  I will also be writing a separate post JUST for fic stuff, if you prefer to read only that.

Personal Stuff:

Extra expenses have started showing up in my life.  Details are under the cut.

My job has not yet promoted me and a coworker the way they said they would in the timeframe they gave us (1 year).  Because of this, I am starting the job hunt again.

I have created a Ko-Fi (https://ko-fi.com/U7U063ZJ)

More under the cut

Alright, so here’s the longer version of what my last like...three months have been like, with both personal/work stuff and fandom stuff.

Personal life/Work:

I have said this in a few places, but I currently work as an entry-level archaeologist for a state department in California.  Full disclosure: I and my fellow coworker are underpaid for our work, which is as variable as conducting documentation research through databases and organizing research on behalf of our higher-level archaeologist and historian supervisors to performing surveys and actual fieldwork digs in every type of weathers in California.  As an example, two weeks ago (the week of Thanksgiving here in the U.S.), myself and one of my supervisors did an 8 hour fieldwork day which consisted of 3-4 hours of surveying through waist-high grass in pouring rain at 55 degrees F/12 degrees C.  This upcoming week, I and (other underpaid) coworker will be doing two 12-hour days of construction monitoring.  Our work consists of traveling all over the state, with driving that can take a full day to get to a work destination (these are charged to work, don’t worry - I don’t have to pay for that, thank god).

The reason I’m explaining this is because this is a huge reason why some days (or even some weeks) my activity on tumblr, twitter, and AO3 will take a straight nosedive.  On Thursday of this past week, I spent 8-10 hours without checking my phone and came home to 4 missed calls, 8 “active chats” on messenger, 600 messages on discord, and basically a whole day of “social media-ing” missed out.  

If you’re rolling your eyes over this, I get it, I really do - it sounds like all the stuff that older people complain millennials “overvalue,” but (for example) one of those phone calls was from my dentist’s office saying that they will not serve me because (after three months of them NOT checking) they realized that I don’t have the right dental insurance for them.

Fun.

I don’t make enough money to switch to higher, “better services” health and dental insurance, but since I work a job that requires physical labor, I’m scared to cut them from my life.  Said coworker twisted his ankle earlier this year, and work only compensated him for 1 week of “missed” work, when in reality he was walking with a slight limp for 2-3 weeks.  Because of our low-level, we are not given access to benefits that many other state workers get.

Moreover, our sub-department has been promising that the two of us would get promoted “within the year.”  We reached a year working with them in mid-November, and that promise still hasn’t been reached.

So in terms of my personal life, I’m at a cross-roads: I will tell them that they need to promote us, even to the next “low-level position” because that will give us just a few more $/hour which will help A LOT when accumulated, or I’m going to tell them that I’ll have to search for something else.

On top of this, my parents have decided it’s time for me to “pay rent” to live at home with them - a discussion we, frankly, haven’t had on a serious level yet and one which blindsided me this morning.  I am looking into my options but without a better job, they’re not good.

This also doesn’t cover whatever it will take to help me start the legal and medical processes of transitioning, which are, frankly, the main things I’ve been saving money for.

What does this mean:

I’m looking for places to cut costs, but the combination of current expenses + what my parents want from me will take 1/3 to 1/2 of my current monthly paycheck.  I already spend next to nothing on personal stuff, so all my current expenses are “necessities” such as food, gas, and insurance.  I’m looking to cut down on gas costs but it may be awhile before my daily schedule gets adjusted.

The alternate is taking a second job that will permit me to only work my free three days a week.

Doing this means I will have zero time to write or produce content.

For now, I’m not jumping out to do that.  I’ve made a Ko-Fi account (https://ko-fi.com/U7U063ZJ) that I would greatly appreciate any spare money you’re willing to contribute.  Something as simple as a few dollars can go to me covering the cost of my health insurance per month, while I figure out the bigger problems of searching for a job.

The reason why I started with this is because:

Fic Stuff/Writing Stuff:

I do the equivalent of 3-4 full days of “writing” for fandom stuff per week: on my days off, I can write anywhere from 8 to 14 hours a day.  Using just Friday and yesterday as an example, I wrote 9k words, and with whatever I do today, I will likely push that to about 11-12k.

Yes, it is all voluntary, and I do not have to write at the pace that I do, nor the amount that I do.  I do it because I enjoy it, and because, honestly, writing for Overwatch has given me some of the biggest joys and happiness I have felt in like, a decade.  And that includes writing the long essays.  My last big R76 post (http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/167321630835/everything-you-want-to-know-about-reaper-and) spans a whopping 67 pages and 7.5k words in Google Docs (that includes pictures and sources/credits/links/references).

Again, this isn’t to brag, but just to put my writing into perspective, I guess.  This is the equivalent of doing a second part-time job, which was something I attempted last year but was unable to balance my current archaeology job + a part-time retail job + writing.  I dropped the second one because, at the time, I finally had the luxury to choose a job in my profession and writing on the side.  This is a luxury I was fortunate to enjoy for the first half of 2017, but it is steadily becoming undoable as my work increases my responsibilities without increasing my pay.

Fic Updates:

For those of your who have been waiting patiently for information on “And Overwatch for All” I do have some good news that I’m finally ready to share:

Moira has been integrated into the plot.

I got a number of comments here and on twitter that were really supportive of my current version of “AOFA” and I just want to say, thank you all so much.  It means a lot to me that you guys have liked the version of Overwatch I’ve built up and that you found all the characters, including my silly OCs, to be engaging and well-written.  It was soul-crushing to think I would have to lose some of them, but after some time and doing more research on Moira, I feel ready to talk more about her and how she’s going to factor into the updated plot.

To start off with:

None of the OCs will be cut, but some of their roles will change.

Lmao, this surprised me as well, but I’ve figured out a few different ways to make all of the OCs, especially the very obviously contrived “Death Agents,” stick around in the updated plot.

Only one OC (and you can probably guess who, if you’ve started “New Wars”) will change names: the character called “Reaper” in “New Wars Chapter 1″ (the “young Hanzo chapter”) will be called “Reaver.”  This is due to his updated role in the plot.  His background has changed only slightly.

If it wasn’t apparent, this “Reaper” was meant to act as a plot device to cause confusion over Gabriel/Reaper’s actions after the fall of Overwatch, but that has changed because:

I’m switching to Crisis-era and “undercover mercenary” Reaper.

If you’ve read some of my more recent posts on Moira, you’ll know that I’ve switched over to supporting the idea that “something went wrong with Gabriel Reyes during SEP/the Crisis.”  This is due to the fact that you can find a folder labeled “Soldier ID: 24″ in Moira’s Oasis lab, that Michael Chu said that Reyes was interested in getting her help on “matters of genetics,” and that this appears to mesh the “Reaper has existed for decades” concept in Reaper’s hero profile.

Truth be told, I’ve actually been a supporter of this idea of “Gabriel has been Reaper behind the scenes for decades” plot point for a long, long time, almost as long as I’ve been posting Old Habits.  “Reaper”/“Reaver” was semi-messy OC that attempted to bridge Reaper’s original hero profile with the “Old Soldiers” explanation that Gabriel/Reaper gave that “Jack and Overwatch ‘left [him] to suffer.’”  However, I also knew when writing Old Habits that the “Mercy is evil” theory was ALSO not true, so I was kinda stuck:

“If Gabriel = Reaper for decades, why did he appear to blame Jack and Overwatch for his current condition?”

My original solution was to make “Reaper” a different character and have him operating the situation in the background (like a mystery story), but over time this solution got trickier and trickier to work with.  With Moira, I have a chance to rework much of Old Habits/AOFA to better suit some of the details that have come out since drafting it.

This does mean, unfortunately, that all the “76+127″ content is going to become its own, standalone series.

To switch over to integrating “Soldier: 24,” the “76+127″ stories will have to become their own standalone series.  Don’t worry - I’m not deleting anything.  Old content from “Old Habits” will be moved to their own fics, so you can read the whole thing in chronological order.

A new version of my updated ideas on SEP has already started being drafted.  Writing it out is just a matter of time at this point, haha.

The conspiracy/Talon council “mysteries” will become more transparent almost immediately.

With Moira, I finally get the chance to explore some of my ideas in “full format” instead of the kinda awkward “Sombra hacking a chat log” parts yall originally got.  This DOES mean that written portions will suddenly be much, MUCH longer.  For example:

Old Habits original chapter 10 (Sombra hacks an SSO chat log): 17 pages

Old Habits revised chapter 10 (Moira discusses the Route 66 battle with council members + Sombra hacks a chat log): closer to 34 pages

The explosion fight has been changed.

Because of the changes to Gabriel’s plot, the nature of the explosion fight between him and Jack has changed significantly.  It does incorporate new information that Moira revealed.

If it wasn’t obvious, I’ve had a draft version of my ideas for the fight sitting in GDocs for about a year now, and I use that for all my flashback/memories, and also for when Reaper and Soldier: 76 are arguing in the present.  There was a major plot point in the explosion fight that I was extremely uncomfortable with, but found it to be “solid angst material.”  In retrospect, I dislike this plot point and have removed it for another plot point that sits better with me, and fits the overall story more comfortably (I think).

So yes, I DO have a new draft of the explosion fight - written completely from scratch, 100% different in tone and emotionality.  Parts of this should begin to show in updates to Chapter 13, when Soldier: 76/Jack reflects on some of the fight.

The Goal:

The goal for AOFA right now is to update Old Habits in “two big batches” - update the first half (Chapters 1 - 15) within 1 - 2 weeks, and then update the second half (Chapters 16 - 31) shortly after.  Optimistically, before January, but realistically, closer to late-January/early-February.

Thanks for sticking with me - both with this post, and with my life changes.  Things are incredibly and often overwhelmingly busy for me, and I don’t really know where many of these things (both personal stuff and fic stuff) will end up.  I really do appreciate any and all support, even if I’m not able to respond to comments.  You guys make it worthwhile to keep writing, and I apologize for how distant I’ve been with this stuff.

[frenchibi]

Author About Me

Tagged by @oisugasuga​, thank you so much :DD

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

French (me) + Chibi (small, which I am) = frenchibi (yeah I’m unimaginative w/e)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

It’s Fix Me, my first iwaoi fic, probably because it’s been up longest ^^ (But! Burning Heart is coming closer and closer :D)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

Bunch of waves bc I love the ocean lmao

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I’ve pretty much become friends with my regular/favorite commenters (because my favorites are those who START CONVERSATIONS & DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY IDEAS) so - you know who you are xD

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I’ve got a rec tag :D

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

157 bookmarks (all of which I also recommend) and, uh. A LOT of subscriptions.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Domestic fluff, honestly. Although I’ve been trying to diversify.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

171 user subs (730 in total), 2165 bookmarks :0 (and yet, my comments ratio is small ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Haha nope I write whatever I want honestly, it’s my account? Where I share what I want to? ^^

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Did you mean: Actually finishing a fic that’s more than one chapter

No, actually there are many genres I don’t think I’m very proficient at. I’m working on reading more and analysing more so I can try my hand at different things.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

50% iwaoi, 30% other fandoms and rarepairs, 20% original writing :’D But I’m planning on increasing the latter two a lot. Yes.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

71! 64 for Haikyuu, one each for Harry Potter, Les Mis, Fantastic Beasts and Thor Ragnarök, and three original ones! :D (support me here! Comment, kudos, share! :D)

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

over 200 in several different programs :’D No chill whatsoever lol

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

Write them down - though recently I’m trying to write stuff while I feel it instead of jotting it down for later.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

I’ve done several collabs with @josai, and I’m planning some with @hajiiwa and @ricekrispyjoints! :D (and I had a bunch more planned with other people but they might be a while so ^^) Also i am always open to more collabs because I LOVE THEM!!! hmu!

16. How did you discover AO3?

Uhhh… through tumblr I think…? Like years ago, back when I was in the Spn fandom. I didn’t write for Spn though (at least nothing that I published), and I was active on ff.net before under a different name.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

I think I’ve peaked and now I’m just… slowly being forgotten ^^ But that’s fine. I used to be.. reasonably well-known I guess? I don’t know. In my corner of the fandom, at least. Nowadays less and less people read and comment on my fics and original works, but I guess that’s how it goes sometimes. I’m happier now though, because I really like what I’m writing.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

HAH no I’m not nearly popular enough for that.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I had friends who wrote and inspired me all through school, but the author who always inspired me was J.K. Rowling because her books taught me to dream. HP was the first English book I read (and I learned to read German first, at school, while my mom taught me English at home) and I’ll never forget how empowering it felt, both because I read it myself and because of its contents. These days there are A BUNCH of authors I love, like Patrick Ness, Alice Munro, Michael Cunningham, Khaled Hosseini and many more!

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Don’t try to please anyone other than yourself. Don’t be afraid to just… experiment, and if you don’t like what you’ve created, START OVER! Practice will make you better. Also, there is no “right way” to write, and there is no “wrong way”. Everyone finds their own, and it’s easiest to do that by trying out many different forms. I’d suggest writing exercises like taking a pen and not letting yourself stop writing for 5 minutes, no matter WHAT. Alternatively, make mind maps or plans or lists of stuff you want to talk about, and try out different styles? Take a topic and write a poem, an essay, a newspaper article, a horror story, a romance - whatever. See where your mind takes you. Writing has infinite opportunities.

What I also enjoy, as an artsy sort of person, is combining writing with other things I like to do. Like painting words into pictures I’ve drawn or sketched, or trying my hand at writing song lyrics. You’ll find something you can call your preferred medium - fanfic isn’t all there is, but it’s a great place to start and to hone your skills! :D

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both, it depends on the story.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Nope, not really? I’ve been disappointed, but the “worst” thing that’s happened were misunderstandings that I was able to clear up easily. In the end a comment (either way) is someone’s opinion, and I don’t have to agree with it. I’m always happy that people share theirs - but I don’t take disagreements personally.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Only ones i haven’t practiced enough tbh.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Like 50 at the same time. I want to do a giveaway soon tbh, if I reach 600 followers :D Until then I’m just. Writing what I feel like.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I’m always working on at least 3 at the same time lol

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

I did start the year with a goal to post one fic every week, and I managed all the way through June, but then my depression got worse and I needed that pressure gone. Now I just write when I feel like it and honestly I feel much better for it.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Oh, CERTAINLY. I’ve been writing for near 15 years now xD And I started writing in German. I’ve come a long way since then - and a lot of it is because I read a lot.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Idk, I’m very proud of my original works.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

…there are old ones (on old accounts, and unpublished) that are cringey but I let them be because they helped me grow ^^

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Hopefully less active in fanfiction and publishing short stories? Idk. I mean, I still care about fandom so I probably will never completely abandon it but, well. (I also want to focus more on work - translating - because I have goals that I want to accomplish.)

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

When you feel what you’re writing. It’s… realest, then, I think, and it flows for me.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Finishing long projects. rip, my attention span is so tiny

33. Why do you write?

Because I have things to say that I think are worth sharing.

Ahhh thank you so much for this tag, it was really interesting!! I’m tagging @hajiiwa, @marleeb, @astersandstuffs,  @cheetahleopard, @ricekrispyjoints, @arturosavinni, @lalikaa, @josai, @ailarii and @anyadisee!

[adhdvane]

Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.