#i cant help it look @ how pretty she is
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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get you a girl who can give you everything
this started a long long time ago when I made a joke about how sega should put ringo in more dresses, and then my friend reminded me that oh yeah!! I can do that instead!!! and then one thing led to another and we joked about punk ringo and I drew that too. using ringo like a dressup doll is so cathartic it's kinda crazy
some bonuses (original designs, timelapse) under the cut bc I like these designs!! I might do some more with them!! please disregard the band poster in the first second of the timelapse that's something else!!!
#everyone look at my girl isnt she so pretty#puyo puyo#ringo ando#my stuff#please look at the timelapse it nicely packages a week of suffering into a minute :)#you cant tell at all from the recording. but all those teeny tiny scallops on ringo's dress? i drew all of those by hand#because the scallop brush i downloaded didnt look right. it never does why do i have that#plus the lace cutouts on the bottom i also drew by hand because i wanted them to look kinda like bunches of apple seeds#but thats not really a thing you can search for- 'lace brush that looks like apple seeds' is wildly specific#there's probably an identical brush to what i painstakingly drew by hand but dont tell me about it i want to think i did that for a reason#punk ringo on top was a lot less work on the lineart bit except for that godforsaken guitar#i had to make sure it looked right and it took forever#but what punk ringo gave me the most trouble with was posing#i knew i wanted an arm out to mirror lolita ringo but thw initial draft was meant to be her holding the guitar the opposite way she is now#(as in her hand was gonna be backwards)#and do you know how hard it is to balance a guitar like that. i had to grab my guitar and do a photoshoot to see what was most natural#while still having leg up arm out#this was fun to do even if i had about three crises in the middle of it#i tried doing my old rendering style again after a while and it was fun too#lolita ringo gave me a bit of trouble in the fact that my brain couldnt handle the dress being shaded but the apples being flat#but we got it lmao. i dont know if ill ever do this again it took too long#but maybe half of the time was because suddenly halfway through everybody needed my help for something or other that required me to leave#anyway wow thats enough rambling. i should go to bed now
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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watched the first 2 episodes of acolyte and so far i like every character except for the main one lol. (also is her name osha as in occupational safety and health administration??)
#star wars#the acolyte#acolyte#the nemoidian faces look really good#definitely the best looking prequel alien from the last few shows#rather ironic to name Miss Hazardous Workplace Conditions 'Osha' lol#the assassin lady was really cool looking#it was pretty funny to see that the 120bby sith assassins are reasonably friendly to each other#and at least help each other somewhat#and then there's poor ventress (and briefly savage ig) who just get force-zapped a bunch#the conversation between sol and vernesta(?) at the end of ep 2 was also pretty funny#vernestra: well we have to take time to Thoughtfully Deliberate this situation so we can respond wisely :)#sol: SHE IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL ME???#poor guy hope the situation works out better for him#hey at least his new padawan (orange theelin) is smart#anyways might draw one of them idk#more inclined to draw nightsisters and soft wars rn but we'll see#whos the sith(?) cant be plageius bc hes a muun right?#how old is palpatine again? was the acolyte project his Sith Senior Thesis or something like that#unrelated but the scene of the jedi running around the ice planet bareheaded was so infuriating lol#PUT ON YOUR HOODS I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM#maybe i'll draw hats for them all#i found it a bit weird that they basically gave osha the anakin background? having her be *eight* specifically when she got to the temple#felt a bit off#kind of like it's taking away from the caution around anakin's induction? since i think koth was four and that was considered 'late'#so for a non-prophecied random kid to show up at age eight?#on the other hand maybe they only got cautious about age after this whole debacle happened? idk i'll see what happens#ok i think thats all
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You know what being objectum SUCKS why do i have to have a goddamn crush on a GODDAMN MOUNTAIN
#objectum#mountains#HELP#I CANT TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT HER LEST I DOXX MYSELF BUT JUST KNOW#SHE IS BIG AND BEAUTIFUL AND MAKES ME DAMN FLUSTERED#which SUCKS because she is RIGHT THERE. Whenever i look outside a window she is RIGHT THERE.#WHY do i have to get flustered now whenever i go outside. augh.#i cant help it she is so fucking pretty and stunning and you can see her crags and rocks and UGH#i hate this#hey google how do make out with mountain?????????#is there an objectum tag specifically for mountains and all that?#why am i like this why do i have to be like this is so embarassing
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep
#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day#i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it#i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw#and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me#im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse#if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common#ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy.#we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning#she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed#found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food.#she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz'#(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me#we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans#with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now?#went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help#while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time#im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work#but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon#i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.
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im like *Gets mad at my parents*
#im like constantly baseline mad at them but i cant be Mad at them all th time bc i run out of fuckign energy yk#i just wish theyd stop trying to give me financial advice like 1. Stop fucking looking at my bank statements leave me the fuck alone#my dad literally said it up so hed stop seeing my bank statements why the Fuck is my mom seeing them. shes not even connected to th acct#2. you think im going to take financial advice from ppl who had kids at age 20 one hs a shopping addiction the other buys new gaming#consoles when his kids r starving. You think im gonna take financial advice from th couple who hve been on th brink of divorce for 15 years#and then decided to BUY A FUCKING HOUSE as soon as one of them got a job that paid like 25 dollars an hour. full offense. if i want#financial advice im not fucking going to you two chucklefucks.#if my childhood has taught me fucking ANYTHING its 1#what not to look for in a marriage 2. what not to do with my money 3. how not to raise kids 4. Dont ever be like my parents#like. gddd#and she ws like#bitching at me abt having a savings acct. which i have#and i have a decent amt of money stockpiled and she knows that bc she snoops on my shit#and ALSO shes literally never had a savings acct in her fucking life afaik#ik its mot their fault explicitely that we live in poverty ik both of their families r like. well theyre both pretty poor#but yk like. theyre bith so fucking irresponsible with their money qnd i hate that theyre trying t act like paragons#when again. th only thing theyve ever taught me is What Not To Do. i never wanna be like them id genuinely rather be dead.#ik im just like a dramatic teen but. the thought of ending up like either of them is my biggest fucking fear. whatevr#and ik ppl say moving out rly helps yr relationship with yr parents but gd i. Ik theyll keep asking me for money and keep rpetending that#either of them r like. even Slightly worthy of being called a parent#GD. WHATEVER
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l@imari has a place in my heart fr
#m/f ways? Extremely Bisexual. f/f ways? smirks...#cannot help but project my autism gender/sexuality onto laios due to woke#1. gender is extremely constructed and not directly correlated to personality all the time. though i generally find gnc people more#attractive regardless of gender but it depends. 2. i despise the social expecation of sex and gender and i think no matter my sex assigned#would probably be trans because i dont feel specifically Male but i refuse and reject being defined by my body and social rules regarding i#social rules chafe my assssssssssss i get ittttt pretty feathers cute little dance watever courting is weird#Why do people suppress themselves?their interests? why is fun childish? these are things that play into our gender perception too#i have genuinely come to believe autistic people and other NDs serve just as important a social function as things like social cohesion and#that is not having the same instinct to fit in as is appropriate#because sometimes fitting in isnt appropriate whether youre conscious of it or not i think its just stupid we cant play tuoys#once were too old or its weird#SIGHS. this became more about me than l@imari.#anyways. thats why i like tfem laios i dont think shed even bother thinking about who specifically she likes genderwise shed be distracted#with other stuff whether the Gender the King stuff or a romantic exploit#no matter how much i think on it i cant define my sexuality#i like droopy or unique eye shapes#i like muscles and fat#i like long hair i like larger lips i like gentleness and conscientiousness and openness and it always goes like this lol#i prefer my men feminine and my women masculine but not always#umm oh body hair <3 <3 <3 <3 and tits. not of any particular size but they gotta be good.#i know genitals that look more pleasing to the eye from ones that are less. they arent all just weird and ugly to me or anything but#other than that stuff i dont think i can call myself bi or pan because its not just about personality and gender does matter in ways but#IDK im nonbinary and gay so whatever its no matter... i think i would get a weird sense of euphoria if a nb/gnc lesbian was attracted to m
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.
#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.
By: J
major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention
uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.
uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.
talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!
i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.
hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭
(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)
——————————
yknow,
you havent been a great person
or a good one even.
yet you still question as to why i dont love you
or like you,
maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.
maybe not
i dont really care about your feelings.
at all.
not now.
i put up with this for fucking 14 years.
my entire fucking life.
ive put up with your shit.
but now?
now im done.
you have no idea how badly you fucked up.
when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up”
yknow.
he mightve not been right for what he did.
but,
it was just a mistake.
it was a goddamn mistake.
you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?
how many times ive repeated them?
how many times i fucking meant it?
just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.
you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.
dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”
bullshit.
bullshit you dont.
you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!
you had a goddamn kid
you had two goddamn children.
with this man that you fucking DESPISE.
you knew it back then too.
you told me you did.
you fucking told me.
almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.
nothing.
you have no right to act like that.
no.
you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.
for such a simple mistake.
i dont care if he talked about it since friday.
i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.
you.
you as a goddamn human.
have no right.
none.
in the slighest.
to hit another living being.
for talking about something in your eyes “too much”
or making a mistake.
youre a hypocrite.
need i remind you?
you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.
that youd be a better person.
stop the fights.
stop the beatings.
stop all of it.
and everything would be okay!
.
i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.
youre a liar.
just how you said i was.
you didnt quit.
you didnt stop.
hell two months after you hit him again!
you threatened to kill him and yourself!
cmon.
dont you get it yet?
i fucking despise you.
maybe to a degree i feel shocked.
but.
i really dont think thats it.
youre the root of my problems.
every single last fucking one.
——————
need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?
.
need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?
.
need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?
.
need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?
.
need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?
.
need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?
.
need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?
.
need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?
.
need i remind you of what i seen?
.
need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?
.
need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?
.
i dont care about your feelings anymore.
i gave up years ago.
but now.
i dont feel just numb for you.
i hate you.
in every sense of the word.
.
i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.
.
i dont care about what you think of my appearance.
.
i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.
.
i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.
.
you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.
you yelled at me.
no.
you fucking screamed at me for weeks.
im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.
i dont give a fuck about you.
and yknow?
if.
no.
if it would work.
if it was possible.
id fucking kill you.
id stab you.
right here.
right now.
to end my suffering.
to end his suffering.
all of it.
id end it all.
i dont care if its wrong.
because i know no one else knows about whats going on.
yknow.
only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.
and i havent even met her in person.
yknow.
the people i used to be close with from school.
only just learned you had an affair.
i know that.
the police are do-less.
since you know them.
and hes a man.
not a woman.
it wouldnt be taken seriously.
that he should just fight back.
yknow.
youve ruined what life he has left.
his parents beat him.
his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.
and here.
youve done the exact same thing.
yknow.
he’ll never get to see how love truely is.
because of you.
because of what youve done.
i cant say i really like him either.
but.
that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.
.
yknow whats worse?
how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.
is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.
i know i joke about that night.
but.
really.
hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.
its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years.
and even now.
if you were to as so much to touch me.
while in a fight.
id do it all over again.
you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.
but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.
i wont forgive you for what youve done.
even if he will.
.
i want nothing to do with you.
get out of my life for good.
#j writes badly#woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm#ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect.#holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit#(actually shoked abt that tbh)#unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can#oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary)#i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident!#turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents!#dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen)#this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh#and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands!#(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!)#THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT#sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute#oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully)#paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me!#when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong#but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc#so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now!#yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀#heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig!#oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck.#hhvtbd but my mother is awake :(#HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things#again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird#sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo!#(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs)#CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!
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Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well
Some teasing from other drivers as well
And proceed how u deem fit
Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!
doctor lady | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader
summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.
liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!
maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍
view comments below!
user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers
user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level
landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍
maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!
yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.
maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE
user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???
user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕
user4: i need a video of that right now
user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done
charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!
maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️
maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️
charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away
maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡
user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment
user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again
yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.
user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭
user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible
user10: literal nightmare material
maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO
user11: good lord #freeyn
danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?
maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME
danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣
landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?
yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.
landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH
maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO
user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭
user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh
user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW
redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓
maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX
user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing
user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…
user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately
landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN
yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.
maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!
user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??
user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card
user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, landonorris, 619,027 others!
redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️🩹
view comments below!
maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞
user19: what??
landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?
user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???
maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰
user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn
user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?
user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him
charles_leclerc; so sad for max!
user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭
user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!
user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D
yourusername: no
maxverstappen1: 😕
user27: HAHAHA
danielricciardo: LOSER
landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED
charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING
oscarpiastri: that hurt to read
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU
user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room
user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise
user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭
user31: she can’t?
user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during
user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 917,027 others!
maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅
view comments below!
landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?
maxverstappen1: ZERO.
yourusername: 10**
landonorris: TENN??????
maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞
yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired
maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?
user33: let the countdown begin
charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!
maxverstappen1: no you didn’t
charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN
maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.
yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!
charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!
maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕
user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate
user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??
user36: he has no shame…
yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working
maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty
danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro
maxverstappen1: SHUT UP
user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?
user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met
user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird
user40: he’s trying to impress yn
user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE
user41: damn…
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 619,017 others!
maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!
view comments below!
user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN
user43: WE KNEW IT!!!
landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you
maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.
landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑
maxverstappen1: just say your jealous
landonorris: OF WHAT???
user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic
user45: he’s learning!!
user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????
maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram
user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????
maxverstappen1: yes
user48: oh he’s in love
danielricciardo: looking good max 😍
maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!
landonorris: was that a dig to me?
maxverstappen1: yes.
landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF
yourusername: looking good max
maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??
yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)
maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio
user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???
user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio
user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?
maxverstappen1: because i am!!
user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????
yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄
user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭
user52: does max just follow her around all day??
yourusername: pretty much, yeah
user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you
charles_leclerc: wow max looking good
maxverstappen1: thank you charles
charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?
maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that
user54: DAMN THATS COLD
user55: those cats are so cute 🥺
. . .
. . .
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 914,078 others!
maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰
view comments below!
user56: when he falls first and harder >>
user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane
landonorris: beat me too it
landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME
maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.
landonorris: 😕
user58: WE CHEERED!!!
user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months
yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷♀️
maxverstappen1: pretty :D
user60: she’s so pretty
maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.
user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before
user62: it’s unnerving
user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot
user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off
user65: LMAO WHY??
user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad
danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?
maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean
danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage
yourusername; yes
danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY
maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.
yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again
maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?
yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you
user65: HAHAHA
user66: max is just so unexplainable
charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 
maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES
charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY
maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH
user67: my lestappen heart 💔
. . .
notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims
thank you for requesting!!
#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1#f1 fluff#formula one smau#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x reader
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𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙨𝙚!
ᥫ᭡ 𝙨𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝… 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙟𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙨 𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙧𝙖!𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
ᥫ᭡ 𝙘𝙬: 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝, 𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙪𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙛 '𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣' '𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚', 𝙗𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚
ᥫ᭡ 𝙬𝙘: 1.6𝙠
𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
"I am so fucked" is something that immediately ran through your mind.
But as you were walking in the spaceous courtyard, you couldn't help but practically float to the source of that amazing smell coming from one of the estates many kitchens in the hallway.
You walk into the kitchen, head peeking curiously at Uraume cooking some soup in a large pot ,following Lord Sukunas request. This was your favorite, and he knew this very well.
Ever since you had moved into his large estate, your life has drastically changed. You were a normal person, with nothing remotely special about you. But you had Sukuna whipped. You were Sukunas favorite, which also automatically came with being the biggest gossip of the Heian Era. Everywhere you look, people would make assumptions about you and your status with the lord. Ever since your arrival, there was no more need for concubines. And it made them furious.
A group of concubines walked past you while you were peeking in the hallway, the ladies snickering to themselves and bickering about you for the 1000th time. You could even call them obsessed with you.
'i really don't get whats so special about her.'
'she's just some high class whore that happened to get lucky.'
'she must be some sort of witch.'
Are some of the things they would say. But as they walked by, one of the woman came up behind you and bumped right into your back, muttering an 'oops' before quickly giggling and running off. You went lunging forward, as your leg tripped, causing a large bleeding bruise. Uraume immediately ran to your side, quickly residing besides your shaking body.
"shiiitttt-" you muttered as you looked down at your leg, while Uraume held it up with their hand. "Don't move." they said as ice started forming around your fragile leg. You winced and whimpered in pain, as blood began trickling down your leg to your feet.
"Please don't tell Lord Sukuna... he cant know about this-" you say, as if thats the most important thing right now. "Y/n. You know I must inform him. That would be going against his wishes." Damn, you knew they would say that. You'll just have to try and hide your leg for as long as possible. But what that entirely possible? Considering he always had somebody watching you when he was not, and the fact that he can basically know for certain when something is wrong.
You knew how he would react, and that he would go overboard and blame it on those girls. And you took pity towards them. While they did practically vomit in your presence, you didn't want to be known as some prissy complainer.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
You had convinced Uraume to leave your side, as you layed in your futon, trying to distract yourself from the pain. Sukuna had granted you the privilege of sharing a bed with him. He was currently busy (as so you thought), with fornicating with important business matters. So what better time to get better than now? You had all day to yourself in your mind.
You toyed with your thumbs while staring at the ceiling. Due to the status your leg is in, your options of keeping yourself busy are quite limited. While your glad Sukuna doesn't see you in your current state, you wished he was here keeping you some sort of company.
Being Sukunas favorite came with its perks, but one of its downsides was being pretty lonely. People were scared to become close to you, due to Sukunas tendency to kill people on sight when it came to you. You are always being targeted, and people don't want to fuck up their chance at life.
You were lost in your own thoughts, when suddenly the sliding door slams open, with enough force to cause an earthquake. By the look ok Sukunas face, you could tell he was furious. Not at you, but to whoever did this to you. Next to him was Uraume, looking as unbothered as ever. They were holding a tray, consisting of soup, water, towels, and a mochi a servant picked out at the fancy market per Sukunas request.
"Show me your leg, woman." Sukuna demanded, making his way towards you on the bed. He sat next to you, as he tried pulling the covers out of the way, but glared at you when you tried to stop him. "Why must you resist? I already know what happened. Hurry up and show me."
Your felt your eye twitch, as your body stiffened at his gruff words. "Nothings wrong 'kuna. What are you talking about?" You say, as you look him into the eyes, but failing to do so fully because of how intimidating he got when he was mad. Sukuna let out a guttural sigh, looking over at Uraume. "Hold her down." He says to them. "Understood." As Uraume made their way over to you, holding your hips down with their hands. Sukuna pulled the covers off of you and you could see his eyes widen upon looking at your injury.
"The fuck is this?" He exclaims as he looks down at your leg. You look away in shame, as the blood dripping down your knee hits the mattress, and stains the white satin bedsheets a deep crimson. He then looks back up to you, looking for answers.
"Who did this." "...." you don't respond. "I said, who did this. Don't make me repeat myself." "it was the blonde girl... I dont remember her name all too much..." you say, as you look away from him. But his upper hand grabs hold of your chin, forcing you to look in his direction. You can clearly see he doesn't know who your talking about, not bothering to remember the looks and names of other woman, besides you. That was something Uraume had told you, and every time you think about it, it makes you warm up inside.
"Fuckin' hell woman... you're gonna be the death of me someday." He says, with genuine concern for your leg. "Uraume, run her a bath feed her, and get some of the nurses to take care of her. I have something I need to do." He says, as he gets up from the bed, quickly giving your already messy hair a ruff. As he stands int he doorframe, he gives you one last glance before leaving, leaving him with the last word.
You stare dumbfounded into your own thoughts, until your snapped back into reality by the sudden realization... 'holy shit, is she in danger?' But those thoughts are also occupied by Uraume lifting you up into their arms, and carrying you to the warm, steamy bath that usually accompanied you and Sukuna. But since he was busy doing god knows what, you were alone with Uraume and two other handmaidens.
As they scrubbed your body in the giant tub, you fell into your own thoughts. You tried to relax deep into the water, but the wooden walls ran thin in the estate, cauing you to overhear something you wish you hadnt.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
"My lord! Please, I apologize for my actions!" The girl had exclaimed. She was begging for her life at this point. Sukuna, as well as three butlers had the poor girl surrounded. She was on her knees, kneeling all the way to the floor, with her hands pressed firmly against her face. All she could do was pray that her life could be willingly spared.
"What is the meaning of this? You think its all fun and games around here, but you are simply wasting my time. It shouldn't be on such trash like yourself." He states firmly. Hearing Sukuna call her trash got to her head, and drove her deeper into a state of despair.
"You are merely incompetent, easily replaceable." Sukuna says as he kicks her head, with a harsh 'thud'. The girl grabs hold of Sukunas feet, as she rests her forehead onto his left. "Please! Ill take one hundred lashes! Just please don't kill me, i'm still so young-" "Tsk, i've heard enough." He says as he slashes the woman across the back, leaving her killed in a blink of an eye.
"Take care of this, I cant have somebody like her be around Y/N."
As he gestures the butlers to carry and clean the residue up, he walks towards your room, head held high, and feeling proud of himself. He doesn't feel the need to impress you, but he had to admit he felt really good right now. Not at killing the woman, but at the idea of your reaction. Will you be concerned? Happy? Angry? Who knows, but it always ends the same.
He walks into your shared bedroom, not even knocking, as he stares at your sleeping form, and sees your cute little silk pajamas. God, you were adorable. But he would swear on his life to never truly admit that. Your chest moves up and down as you are in dream land, your shirt riding up to reveal your stomach.
"Brat, wake up." He says, which immediately waking you up from your sweet dreams. You shoot your head up, as Sukuna glares daggers into your eyes.
"You awake now? Good. I slayed that brainless, ignorant woman."
He says, no feelings behind his words, as he slowly crawls his way up the bed, eyes still locked onto yours. He looks you up and down, seemingly staring into you, making you feel exposed.
"What did you do?"
"Thats not important right now. But I think I know what is."
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#heian sukuna#heian era sukuna#heian sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#heian#heian era#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk smut#sukuna smut#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst
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sometimes i look at things my mom has done... simple tasks.... and i see where the intellectual delays/disability i fought tooth and nail to overcome growing up came from.... 💀
#no joke my mother is the stupidest person i've ever met#like not even trying to be mean (much)#personal#so like. before she left she wanted to know if there was anything she could do for me that would be helpful#so i asked her to fill my pill cases - i have two for my nightly meds so i only have to fill them twice a month#i take four meds at night. one of each. pretty straightforward#...right?#but this woman is incapable of any sort of planning-forethought#so even though i explained it clearly i realized as i was explaining it that it mightve been too complicated a task for her#(how this woman survived this long i don't know. sheer boomer hutzpah i guess)#but she has a huge complex about being made to feel incompetent so i left her to figure it out#and lo and behold#it's a DAMN good thing i always actually LOOK at what just poured out from the case before i take it#(bc i'm not immune to mistakes either but... i'm just. careful not to make them to begin with.)#(and there's one med i cant skip and another that if i accidentally take two i'll be so ill i can't go to work)#so. i check.#and fucking hell. i've had to rearrange the contents of both cases and have had uneven amounts in each#like HOW is it too hard to count out 14 pills#to do that four times and drop them one at a time into a little box#i know she wouldve had her glasses on and was in a well lit space so that was no excuse#just like#it frustrates me bc this is exactly why i developed my own tendencies to be so careful#bc if i wasn't and just took the handful of pills that was due to pop out in a few days? i'd be fucked and wouldnt know why#i'm so frustrated by this bc it's just such a glaring reminder of the incompetence i was raised under and had to learn very early on#not only to compensate for but also to expertly dance around and never point out lest mother's mental house of cards catch a slight draft#and crumble to the ground#she KNOWS she's incompetent and makes sure everyone ELSE knows it too but donT YOU DARE treat her like she's incompetent#you'd better make sure yo give her tasks she's not up for! and then when she does a shit job you better not outwardly acknowledge it's shit!#even though you both know that it is!!!#fucking hell no wonder i'm so afraid of acting w/o deliberate care + attention!! bc look at the disgusting outcomes that happen if you dont!
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Horny For My Bestie | Jeon JK | Oneshot
☆ Synopsis: Your best friend, jungkook, is dared to take a Viagra pill at a party. He's horny for his bestie...in this case, you.
☆ Genre: Smut, angst, EXPLICIT CONTENT!!, JK'S POV
☆ Pairing: Bsf!oc, horny!jk.
☆ Warnings: honestly just a loooot of smut, Jungkook is horny out of his damn mind, horny thoughts, angst, dirty talk, oc cries during sex, oral (f receiving), spanking, a lot of kissing (duh), penetrative sex, unsafe sex (be safe out there x), he cums inside her, bitch idk what else just read it and find out 😜 oh yeah dry humping, animalistic fucking, shit like that
☆ WC: 8.5K
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a/n: AHHHHHH it's finally here!! this is my longest fic yet so.i hope you enjoy it. im so so so excited everyone support and show love!! i love you all ♡
-UNEDITED
Her lips move, but i'm not listening.
She looks at me expectantly, like though she's waiting for a response.
Had she just spoken to me right now?
Because, not to be one of rude mannerisms, I couldn’t give a shit if I wanted to.
My body's on fire. Heat pulses through ny veins and my cock visibly throbs, and her bare thigh peeking out from the slit of her tiny dress isnt helping.
it's a given rule, not to be sexually drawn to your best friend.
I shouldn't see her this way.
I shouldn’t picture her lips sloppily sucking around me just because theyre swollen and inviting. Red and fucking attracting the hell out of my attention.
I shouldn’t picture her under me.
Above me.
On me.
Fucking hell.
Im aware of the sweat trickling down my temple.
Im highly aware of how uncomfortable I’d make her feel if I tried to adjust my seating position.
The raging hard-on would be hard to conceal if I tried to move a sliver of an inch.
Fuck, im horny.
Horny for her.
Thanks to fucking Viagra falls and Kim Fucking Taehyung.
Damn him.
the party music’s bass still rings in my ears, a reminder of how loud and chaotic taehyung’s parties always are. It breaches the peaceful silence one would usually experience sitting in a car half past midnight.
I’d picked my best friend up earlier this evening so we could go there together.
It was a weekly taehyung frat party. The usual.
The dress she chose to wear hugs her curves nicely, her makeup simple, but complimenting her features. High heels adorn her feet and that fucking dress adorns my conscience.
The tiny slit.
Tiny, tiny, little, slit.
She shifts her feet, and the dress hikes up higher.
The viagra I'd been dared to take just a little over half an hour ago had taken effect pretty harshly on my body.
My poor, poor body.
Stray strands of my hair are sticking to my forehead, my cock is growing harder by the second, and my heartbeat is beating faster than I could fucking breathe.
I cant even breathe properly.
And the damn sex appeal goddess sitting across from me in my car’s passenger seat is not making it any easier.
We’ve been sitting in this car for I don’t know how long, after I'd called out for her and asked her to leave, and drove us both to my apartment.
She didn’t look at me long enough then to notice all the distress literally draping over my body and ambushing it like a blanket, so she just obliged by my request, following me away and to my car.
Should I tell her? About the viagra?
Would it be weird?
Of course it’d be weird, you dumbass.
She’d probably be uncomfortable.
Fuck, since when was she so damn irresistible?
Fuck, just make out with me already.
Fuck, wanna fuck?
FUCK.
I’d love to fuck.
“kook.” she moans.
No she does NOT.
She didn’t moan. She just asked. But I’d love to hear her moan. When I ease into her and start fucking her with slow, languid strokes…I'd fucking love to hear that voice moan for me. For my cock.
Is she the loud type? Would she scream? Whimper? Cry?
My cock twitches, hardening by the second. It’s almost painful at this point, the viagra pumping in my veins and throwing my head in a frenzy.
Fuck, I literally want to fuck the shit outta her.
My eyes snap back to her eyes, cheeks growing red when I notice I’ve been staring at her thighs.
Great.
Now I look like a perverted asshole.
“sorry,” took me too long to respond.
Dammit.
I try to adjust my position, throwing an arm over my crotch to cover the raging hard-on. Casually.
Almost too casually, apparently, because that catches her attention.
She bats her eyelashes once at me, in what seems to me a mix of perplexity and frustration.
Same. Im also frustrated out of my mind.
But apart from that, im disappointed.
Almost angry, even.
I love y/n. as a fucking friend. Not literally. I mean, at the moment, I’d love to fuck her-
Ive said that too many times, havent i?
Anyway, she’s a friend. A really good friend. A best friend.
I always had a deep care towards her, always felt the need to be there for her just as she was for me.
So that proves the point as to why im damn disappointed in myself.
When I took that viagra pill, I hadn’t expected to be so drawn to her. I never saw myself thinking- more accurately, fantasizing- about her this way.
She’s comfortable. Platonic.
I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Thought I'd get myself a one night stand and satiate the horniness I'd feel when I took the damn pill. Call y/n a cab and go back home with a hooker on my dick.
I almost cringe.
But instead of doing just that? I panicked and looked for her. Searched the crowds for her. Called out for her and asked her to come with me.
I thought it was a good idea to take her to my car. Drive her to my apartment. Where I live alone. At half-passed midnight.
My thoughts were driven by her, seeming to believe that I’d calm down if I set my eyes on her.
I was the biggest dumbass.
Here I fucking am, horny out of my mind, for my best friend of all people.
I want her as a friend. No…need. I need her as my friend.
And lord help me, I'm horny for my bestie.
“was distracted.” I clear my throat, scratching at my nape awkwardly.
“why are you blushing?” there's the slightest hint of amusement in her tone, curiosity clouding her soft irises.
“me? Blushing?” I snort. I don’t blush. What a stupid question to ask.
Instead of verbally replying to me, she shifts her eyes rapidly towards the rear view mirror then flicks them back to me, as if telling me to ‘see for myself’.
I do just that, and all earlier amusement is replaced with embarrassment when I realize that, fuck, I am blushing.
Im fucking blushing.
My cock hurts.
Im sweating.
Discomfort swirls in my mind.
Horniness clouds my vision.
She laughs at me expression, which only deepens my frustration.
Only when I remain stoic, does her laugh die down. She looks to be confused once again, probably because she’s not used to me being so serious.
Usually, we’d laugh it off. We make fun of anything and everything, even sometimes each other.
So for her to burst out laughing and me not to join her?
that’s weird for us.
Honestly, she has a right to be confused.
Never once since I had met y/n had I seen her in the light im seeing her in right now.
Naked.
Choked.
Ruined.
Fucked.
My eyes glue to her lips and I can’t seem to tear my gaze away.
I cant help it.
Im not even aware im doing it.
How would they feel? Soft?
Would she kiss slow, soft, and passionate?
Or rough, hard, and hungry?
When I remain silent and tense, she speaks with even more evident amusement.
“if you wanna kiss me, you could just ask…” she trails off into another light laugh.
Okay, she’s trying to lighten up the mood.
Except, my eyes cant help but flutter shut at the image of her lips on my own with her on my lap. Grinding on my lap. Moaning into my mouth. Smiling against my lips.
My cock fucking hurts.
This time, when I pull my eyebrows together and pinch my nose bridge in exasperation, she doesn’t let it slide.
Her brows pull in their own adorable frown as she eyes me weird.
She’s trying to read me, I realize.
She opens her mouth, but I beat her to it.
“don’t say things like that.” Just above a hard whisper. my cock throbs and I have to lean my head against the headrest. I face forward, not wanting to torture my poor dick any longer by looking at her. “not to me, y/n.”
I cant fucking breathe.
My eyes hooded and on the dark, moonlit sidewalk facing the forefront of my apartment, I try to calm my breathing.
In…out…in…out…
Nope.
Not working.
“relax.” She's growing irritated.
Good.
Maybe then she'd leave so I can stop myself from doing something I'd regret.
Except im parked in front of my building in my car.
And it’s way too late for her to go back to her place alone.
I almost scoff at how ridiculous that sounds.
y/n? alone? On the streets? Wearing that?
Fuck no.
I cant relax.
“you went quiet again.” Huh?
I turn my neck to her, head still on the headrest.
She reads the question in my eyes, “you wandered off. Again. You’ve done it multiple times by now.” She mumbles.
Shit.
Well, I cant just tell her Im horny out of my mind for her.
Instead, I say, “just got something on my mind. A little distracted.”
“but you’re never distracted like this, jungkook.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it means you're giving me excuses.” She speaks louder now, more clearly. “you chew on your bottom lip when you're distracted. Your eyes grow doe and wide, giving you a ‘deer in the headlights’ type of look. You run your hands through your hair too many times, as well.”
Ignoring the flutter in my chest because ‘damn, she noticed all those things about me?’, I stare at her in question. “so?”
“so, you’re not distracted. Something's obviously wrong and you’re not telling me.” She lets a hint of frustration slip through. “you seem angry. Irritated. Your hand's clenching around the wheel so hard, your knuckles are white.”
I loosen my hold, now realizing I am.
“your eyes arent round and thoughtful. Theyre hard and hooded. You havent ran your hands through your hair once- and you even scratched your neck.”
“look-“
“you’ve been doing that tongue thing with your cheek for the last twenty minutes!”
Throwing her hands around the cramped space of the car in exasperation, her voice raises.
My mouth opens only to close again.
She’s left me speechless, and fuck, I want her even more badly than ever before.
I panic.
It’s between picking her up and taking her up to my bedroom, or finding a way to get her out of here…fast.
“take my keys.” I remove my car key from the ignition, opening her palm and closing it around it. “drive to your apartment.”
She gapes at me.
“I’ll take a taxi to yours and get the car back tomorrow morning. Or you can come pick me up and we'll figure something out. Call if anything happens.”
I grab my jacket from the backseat, discreetly concealing my crotch with it as I hop out of the car.
The cold night's breeze smacks my cheeks harshly, giving me a weird type of relief.
I relish the distraction from my thoughts for as long as possible as I walk to the building without looking back.
If I turn around and find her staring at me, she’ll be sore and begging by tomorrow morning.
Limping to the bathroom to wash my cum off.
I shake my head at my immaturity.
Get a godforsaken grip.
Except when im just about taking the first steps toward the apartment building, I hear my passenger car's door open and close, with the clanking of high heels against asphalt reaching my ears.
y/n halts in front of me when I remain frozen in place, and all I can do is curse under my breath at the absurdity of the situation.
“what you're doing is unfair.” With her head held high, she cranes her neck back to stare at me.
She’s hella irritated.
And frustrated.
Again, bestie, same.
“go home, y/n.” or else I'll do something that we’ll both regret.
“or what?”
Or I’ll ruin our friendship.
But I don’t say that.
“why am I expected to just listen?” her voice hardens with distaste. “you’ve ruined my night.”
“ruined your night?” I can’t help the dry tone that bleeds into the rasp of my voice into the cold night air.
“I met this guy, you know.” She laughs, but it’s humorless. Sad. I use her tone to distract myself, knowing that if I dwelled on what she had just said too much, I was gonna bury that “guy” six feet under by tomorrow. “it was going well. Thought I had a chance with him.” Like hell she did.
A muscle in my jaw ticks.
She averts her gaze to look at the concrete beneath us, only to stare up at me with resignation.
“but then you came. You happened. You grabbed my wrist and told me to come with you. I didn’t ask, and here we are.”
My eyes soften.
“tell me what’s wrong, please.”
“okay.”
Her eyes brim with hope.
“yeah?”
Fuck. Me.
“yeah. Let’s go up first. I cant have you freezing under my watch.”
She nods before a rough shiver racks her body, as if she’d just now realized how cold the night air kissing her cheeks really is.
Considering my still rock-hard cock and painful arousal, I can’t put my jacket on her. I cant give it to her, because then she’d see. Im already burning the hell up and am profusely sweating, which im sure she notices.
She’s been eying me with curiosity for a while now, trying to figure out what actually is wrong with me.
I don’t blame her.
Shivers relentlessly rack her body as her hair blows with the wind.
So I sling an arm over her shoulders and rub her arm with my hand, desperate for some sort of friction to warm her up, leading us both into and up the building to my apartment.
Unlocking the door and pushing it open, y/n walks in quietly behind me.
It’s unnerving.
She hasn’t said a thing.
Yet.
Oh, boy. Here we go.
“Y/n-“
As soon as I turn around, her lips are moving in the softest rhythm imaginable.
She speaks and those bright pink pillows move, and the horny haze blocking my sight highlights her lips’ movements.
My cock pulses when she bites her lip.
What the fuck.
My eyes remain focused on her lips- and yes, im aware of how uncomfortable that must make her feel- even as she sways with a half-step.
She rubs her palms together, and when she looks up at me with innocent eyes and a sheepish smile?
I want to ruin her.
If she lets me…nothing about this night is going to end up “innocent”.
My eyes darken when I realize what she had just said.
“I noticed your boner, like, twenty minutes ago.”
I open my mouth to speak, but I close it right back when I don’t find anything to say.
Im at a loss for words.
Fuck, her lips are so soft. And swollen. And soft.
So fucking soft.
Focus, asshole.
Her lips tip up in an attempt of making me smile along with her, but all she gets in return is a grumpy scowl.
Not gonna lie, if I wasn’t such a horny prick right now? I wouldve laughed with her.
But now, all I could do is scowl in response.
Which makes her almost-smile fall.
I didn’t scowl at her. I scowled at the boner.
But she doesn’t know that, asshole.
Kill me now.
She clears her throat. “I also…um…” well that’s unlike her. “I saw you take that viagra thing. You know…the thing that made you so horny you’re scowling at me.”
Now that makes me snort. Loudly.
She laughs with me.
I almost forget my aching cock at the sight of her smile.
“so what happens now?”
“let me kiss you.”
We both speak at the same time, and my eyes widen in sync with hers.
Her mouth hangs open, and I look away in embarrassment.
Why the fuck is she eying me like that?!
What did she expect?
I’m horny.
She's here.
Doesn’t need a genius to piece it together.
Or maybe im an idiot who shouldn’t have thought about it that way.
But im also an idiot who took a viagra pill for a dare.
Im so horny I'd fuck a wall, for fuck’s sake!
I rake a hand through my hair in frustration…and something that achingly resembles resignation.
My cock hurts, man.
I’m sick of this shit.
“what?” I bite out.
She continues to gape at me.
My eyes droop low and slowly go over her dress.
My patience simmers on high heat as my anger almost boils over.
It’s either she gets the fuck out of my sight or she puts me out of my misery.
She's a goddess I’d be on my knees to worship in a heartbeat.
I can think of a lot of ways I can worship the effort she put into this goddamn dress.
I’m willing to fucking beg.
I am.
“you want to kiss me?”
Well, no shit, Sherlock. Didn’t she hear me zay exactly that?
“yes, y/n, I want to kiss you.” I snap impatiently.
Maybe if I wasn't in physical pain I wouldn't be such a prick.
When her eyes gloss over and she avoids eye-contact, there’s this prickly feeling that something’s on her mind.
“what is it?” I ask, making sure to soften my tone.
She shakes her head.
Fuck no.
I step closer to her, forgetting about my cock for the sake of communication, and swipe the hair barricading the frame of her face to tuck behind her ear.
Her neck remains craned down in an awkward situation, and im incredibly aware of how clear of an image she has of my boner.
She doesn't make fun of it, though.
She just stares at it, which kind of makes me uncomfortable.
So to get her to stare at my eyes, instead, I hook my index finger under her chin and lift her face up.
Her eyebrows pinch in a confused frown and her lips push forward in an adorable question.
I stroke her chin with my thumb.
What? It just feels right.
“ask.”
“what?”
“I know you want to ask me something. You always go quiet when you do.”
She tries to avoid my gaze again, but I pinch her chin firmly, keeping her right where I want her to be.
She looks up at me, and fuck.
Those eyes.
“I know im being kind of an asshole.” She hums and I chuckle. “but don’t let that get to your head. Im also your best friend.”
She smiles.
“your very horny best friend.”
She breathes out a soft laugh.
“so, as your best friend, please tell me what is it?” I reason with her. she's always been this stubborn. Wont ever tell me what’s on her mind unless I pry. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.”
It’s like I can feel her resolve melt right in front of my eyes.
My pretty little y/n. all she needs is pretty words and empty promises to give in.
The reminder of the guy she met tonight sneaks back into my conscience, along with the tiny slit of the dress she was wearing.
High heels and high ponytails.
Sex, money, feelings.
I cant help but physically weaken at the thought of someone else touching her like this.
Their hand on her chin tilting her face up. The way she simply obliges by the movement and shows no intention of rebellion against it.
Fuck…what if she had refused to come with me tonight?
Would she have fucked him?
Should I even care?
“do you want to fuck me because im the only available option?”
The words are out of her mouth one second, and by the next, my lips are on hers’.
I kiss her with feverish dreams.
I kiss her with a hard cock.
I kiss her with a passion I had no idea of possessing.
Fuck, I kiss her.
I slip my tongue in her mouth with a moan.
I revel in the way her breath stops when I slide it against hers’.
I smile when she bites my lip for a stance of dominance.
Except I know for a fact that if I wanted to, I could have her punished and writhing for my cock in a minute.
I kiss her.
And she kisses me back.
When she scratches against my scalp and pulls at the strands of my hair, arching her back against me, I'm hit with the sudden realization of her earlier question.
She wants me to be attracted to her.
Desperately.
She’s kissing me- devouring my lips, even- pushing and pulling and arching her body against mine because she wants me to want her.
Dare I even say, she wants me to want her as much as she does me.
She wants me.
y/n desperately wants me.
The best friend I’ve known for years has been yearning for my touch, and I’ve been oblivious to it.
Stupid motherfucker.
My cock restrains when I slide my hands over her body, holding everything I can reach, but staying respectful. I inch toward the curve of her ass, but stop.
My hands barely graze the round of her breast, but I don’t go further.
Because I don’t know that she wants me. It’s a deducted conclusion, yet not a fully proven one.
Im giving her a chance to back down.
I rest my hands on her waist, and push her body closer to mine, craning my neck and giving in to the kiss deeper.
She bites my lip again, pulling it with her teeth and my eyes almost roll back at the feeling.
I'm torturing myself.
My cock aches for release and my body calls for her.
Yet, I just cant get enough of her damn lips.
She pulls away- reluctantly- with wide eyes and a crazed expression.
All swollen lips and smudged lipstick.
I almost whimper.
“wait.” She blinks away and I can almost feel her mind drift off.
She disentangles her body from mine and runs her hands through her hair, as if trying to regain a semblance of control over herself.
“hey.” Calling out softly, I reach out for her, for some of her.
I want her so fucking badly.
She doesn’t reply, only taking a step back and shaking her head.
My hand falls.
I push away my horny thoughts for a second.
Is that…regret I see on her face?
“y/n.” I call out again, mind swirling harder and only growing more drowsy by the second.
“you just kissed me.”
“I did.”
“why?”
What's that supposed to mean?
“because I wanted to?” my confusion is palpable.
“you didn’t answer my earlier question.” She doesn’t look at me.
She doesn’t look at me and my heart near sinks.
What question?
“do you want to fuck me because im the only available option?”
Oh. That.
“what?” is all I can say.
I don’t know what to say.
“you want to fuck me, right?” she doesn’t fucking look at me.
Why wont she look at me?
My shoulders tense and my eyebrows knot.
Would that be such a crime? Us fucking?
Apparently so, to miss y/n.
I thought she wanted me?
Guess I was wrong.
“yes.” I do.
“why?”
“what the fuck do you mean, y/n?” I cant help the rough edge that bleeds into my tone.
I thought we were getting somewhere.
She let me kiss her.
“why do you want to fuck me?”
“because I want to?”
I take a step closer, and she takes one back.
What the fuck?
“you’ve taken a sex pill, jungkook.” And?
I stay silent.
“that pill makes you horny.”
I hum impatiently, urging her on.
“we’ve been best friends for seven years, and you just now want to fuck me and do things to me?”
A sadistic chuckle rips out of my chest. I feel my heart bleed, but I try to shift the feeling to ice in my veins.
Except white hot lust is literally pumping through my system, and it’s with great effort that im able to contain my impulse.
Oh, and, by the way?
Pretty eyes still won't look at me, and it makes my blood boil.
Fucking boil, I tell you.
Would I pull her close and tell her to voice her insecurities if I didn’t want her?
If I didn’t care for her?
Would I kiss her?
“you’re not answering me, jungkook.”
Her eyes are not on mine and im panicking.
Does she think im using her?
“you wanna know why I want to fuck you?”
At my ice cold tone, she finally looks up.
And when I begin my stride toward her slowly cowering frame, she goes on with taking retreating steps.
“why I want to ruin you?”
Another step closer, met with another step back.
“why I want to hear your scream my name?”
I can see her clench her legs together, and when she bumps against the wall with a shiver, all I can do is laugh bitterly.
The predator and prey trance ceases when I halt in front of her with both hands against the wall on either side of her head.
Im caging her in, and she's shivering underneath my scrutiny.
It does little to satiate the inhumane sadistic urges containing me.
“tell me why.”
My hand slides down, down, down, until I find the curve of her hip and firmly hold my hand there.
“you don’t get to call the shots.” A squeeze at her hip. “not here,” my neck drops until my breath is met with the curve of her ear. I let my voice deepen into a rasp when I come dangerously close to the lobe of her ear. “not now.”
Her breath hitches, and when I step between her legs and pull her body flush against mine, all she's able to do is gasp.
My hand’s on her waist, arching her back as she’s pressed against me. The feeling of my thigh against her heat is driving me farther than insane.
I can feel the slick between her thighs on mine, wetness seeping through her panties and onto my jeans. I’m sure she can feel my rigid outline through my slacks, because she has the audacity to shift her thigh so that it connects with my arousal.
A little harsher contact than usual.
I cant help but hiss.
Everything she does now is ten times more heightened, but im not sure she knows that.
When I move my thigh toward her core in return, she grinds back onto it.
A small whimper graces my ears.
“now who’s being needy?” a humorless chuckle.
Belittling.
Humiliating.
But she couldn’t care less as she breathlessly moans in return and starts to ride my thigh.
Pathetic.
Turns me on.
I press my thigh even farther up her core as confirmation.
She moans louder this time, the sound like music to my ears.
“still wanna know the answer to your stupid question?” I smirk against her ear with a slight lilt of tease in my voice, knowing if she wasn’t riding high on a wave of pleasure, she would’ve- without a doubt- smacked me or poked my rib playfully.
But the thing is, she can’t.
She closes her eyes, frantically growing more needy with every bump and grind of her pussy against my clothed thigh.
She’s close when she gasps and clutches my bicep for support.
“not so easy.” I take her moment of vulnerability as payback for what she’s had me go through tonight.
Im in physical pain.
And im damn willing to make her suffer.
She audibly whines when I completely pull myself away from her, taking a victorious step back.
I just robbed her of her orgasm.
Ha.
“what the fuck?” she grows defensive now, coming nose-to-nose with me as she gets all in my face.
Cute.
My smile’s wolfish.
That only irritates her more, and I honest-to-god expect her to punch me right here and now…
But she doesn’t.
Instead, she lets out a huff- a fucking adorable one- and stalks off.
She hastily grabs her purse and shoves a hand in it, seemingly searching for her phone.
My smile instantly drops.
“what are you doing?” distaste.
She doesn’t answer me.
In an instant, she’s shoving the door open and the next, im walking over to her, pushing the door closed and turning her around.
Calmly.
I have no fleeting idea how the fuck I managed to keep myself controlled.
I pin her against the wooden door with a hand on the side of her neck and another on her middle.
“when I ask you a question,” my head dips down and I gently graze my nose against her jaw. “you answer it.”
She shoves me, clutching my shirt and crumpling it when she tries to push me away.
But her body does otherwise.
She arches against me and her breathing grows ragged.
She’s almost as turned on as I am, her nipples pebbled and hard through the sheer material of the dress.
So when she pushes me away, I remain rooted in place with a mocking smile on my lips.
“no.”
“no?” she echoes, infuriated and almost resigned.
A low hum reverberates as my confirmation.
“why?” she asks so quietly I strain to hear her, even through our very close proximity.
I can hear her heartbeat racing.
But it’s not even close to the rate of mine.
“because I want you.” A rough whisper.
A vulnerable confession.
“then kiss me.”
She wont have to ask me twice.
When my lips finally reconnect with hers’ in a dreamy haze, she kisses me back with insane need.
Im afraid once I start, I wont be able to stop.
Im not even sure I would want to.
Her purse falls to the floor as she circles her arms around my neck, pulling me down and further into the poison that is her.
She’s a drug.
And count me fucking addicted.
She bites my lower lip and tugs, shamelessly drawing blood and fuck if this girl will be able to walk tomorrow.
“I want you.”
I pull away as much as she allows me to, but my lips are barely off of hers’ and on her throat before she grabs my face and makes out with me again.
All I can do is moan into the dream that is her mouth in return.
She tries to take her heels off- failing miserably with her growing more preoccupied with my mouth by the second.
I groan impatiently and bite her lip, tasting her with my tongue and never getting enough it.
Her whimpers and my grunts get lost somewhere along our undying need for each other.
“up.” She jumps at the command, legs latching onto my middle which I catch and hold on to.
Our mouths remain one as I carry us both to my bedroom.
Fuck me if I aint taking this seriously.
Ive been wanting this girl for I don’t know how long, been in denial for even longer.
How could anyone not want her?
Her hair, her lips, her body, her eyes, her nose, her damn lips.
Those fucking lips.
My end, my demise.
She detangles them from our very sloppy make-out to lazily drag them along the column of my throat.
Slowly,
Boldly,
Teasingly.
I cant help but grind up into her in response.
I guess the low approving growl that reaches her ears turns her on, because she grinds back even wilder.
Feeling like I will most definitely combust, I set her on her feet in the middle of the hallway.
Her eyes round in confusion as to why I stopped just barely two steps away from my bedroom.
I could take her there.
On her knees, ass up.
On her back, knees apart.
On me, back arched.
But my cock aches and im two minutes away from begging if she doesn’t let me be inside her for another second.
This is torture.
She is torture.
So I give her mouth one last sloppy kiss before turning her around and-gently- pushing her against the wall. She winds up with her cheek pressing against it as well as her tits restrained in the tight confinement between her body and the solid concrete wall.
Pressing the palms of her hands on it for balance, she yelps when I grab her hips and pull them towards me.
She’s like a doll I can throw around however I like.
And im bewildered how easy she’s letting me off.
Under other circumstances, I would’ve gotten a huff or a whine in protest, but now?
She pushes her ass farther against my crotch and grinds.
She grinds her fucking ass on my dick and I think I might cry from the pain of wanting to be inside her.
Enough waiting.
I roughly pull the hem of her dress above the arch of her ass and fuck if it isnt the prettiest sight.
She lets out a sigh which turns into a moan when I land a light-careful- spank on her ass.
It’s careful because I don’t know what she likes.
Rough and hungry?
Sweet and slow?
The former would be more convenient, considering the circumstances of us being horny out of our minds.
But the latter would be more pleasant, especially since her body is way more delicate than I could ever imagine.
I wouldn’t force anything on her, of course.
Goddamn it, im gagged.
She spreads her legs wider for me as she grinds, moaning “more” in the most pornographic voice ive ever heard.
A pained groan and a harder slap is what she gets for that.
That torment.
The thong she’s wearing almost bares her pussy to me, and at that particular sight, I am a mad man.
I pull her thong down down down, and pull her ass up up up.
She glistens with the evidence of her arousal, and a low groan of pleasure shamelessly escapes me.
“You’re unbelievable.” Shock.
“In a good way?” Confused.
Getting on my knees as fast as I can, I latch my mouth onto her opening and do what I shouldve done a long time ago.
I worship the incredible goddess that’s been right in front of my eyes for ages.
I nibble, lick, and suck, moaning into her pretty pretty pussy.
She’s so fucking pretty.
I hope she knows it.
At least after this, I’ll make damn sure she gets that fact straight.
Unbelievable.
She is.
She moans and moans and moans, and all I need is a little friction to cum in my restraining boxers.
So I do what I need to; palm my dick through my jeans while I bury my face into her pussy.
So fucking beautiful.
Just like I imagined.
I suck her clit into my mouth and suck, in which she bucks her hips into my face in a moaning plea for more.
Toying with her clit and nibbling on her sinful taste has me on my knees. Literally.
I wouldn’t hesitate to fucking beg this woman.
If she asked me to? There’s probably nothing that would make me say no to her.
Nothing.
Im afraid im already obsessed.
She grinds once onto my mouth, gasping once she’s realized what she'd done.
“it feels good?” I press an open-mouthed kiss on her opening, using my tongue to tease into it.
She whimpers loudly, her legs opening wider for me.
“such a needy slut.”
She whines at that, and with no warning I push two fingers into her aching heat.
Her very, very, wet and soaking heat.
A barely audible gasp is out of her mouth when I push another finger in and take her clit back into my mouth, squeezing her ass-cheek with my free hand.
“what do you want?” and I start fucking her with my fingers.
“please…” her breath hitches right when I curl them, reaching a spot that made her clench around me and buck her hips wildly against my face.
“you wanna cum? Huh? All up against my mouth?”
She’s fucking dripping all over me, and it's just about the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
I continue my ruthless finger-fucking until I feel her moans build up so high I have to spank her ass.
“shhh, baby. You’re doing so well.” I massage the red hand-print gently, slightly guilty at the rough spank I delivered. “let’s not give the neighbors a show they didn't ask for.”
But fuck, I love hearing her moan for me.
My movements don’t stop as they even heighten in intensity, but all I hear is her harsh breathing in return.
She chose to be obedient.
“Good girl.”
She whines quietly, and she clenches around my moving fingers again as she inches closer to her orgasm.
“yeah?” im waiting for her confirmation.
“yeah.” She says breathlessly, her hips arching further as she shamelessly offers her dripping pussy to me.
Goddamn the effect this woman has on me.
My cock twitches with the reminder of my horniness, and my breath grows ragged along with hers.
My fingers remain unrelenting as I pick the pace up further and curl them, sucking her clit into my mouth and toying with it using my tongue.
Breathing seems to be a far possibility for me when she clenches her pussy so tight it's almost hard for me to move.
Like she’s holding me there.
“Cum for me, baby.”
A high moan barely escapes her as she muffles the sound with her hand. Biting on her hand to quiet down, she reaches her orgasm and I moan when her legs shake.
She’s trembling, fucked out as she grinds back on my mouth with her hand covering hers.
I rub my cock through my jeans only once, and that’s all it takes for me to cum with her.
I tongue-fuck her through her orgasm, my hand on my clothed cock persistent, even as it gets a little uncomfortable.
She quietly begs me when I’ve overstimulated her, so I press one last kiss to her pussy and get on my feet.
Y/n holds onto the wall for support before straightening her back and leaning her weight against me.
She breathes heavily and her eyes are closed when she wobbles around to look at me.
Is she too spent already?
Too bad.
We’re nowhere near done.
“take me to bed.”
“we’re not done yet.”
“I didn’t say we were.”
She gets on her toes, pressing a sloppy kiss to my mouth as she fondles with my shirt.
I suck on her tongue when she opens a button and slips a hand into my shirt, feeling me up with her nails. She scratches me on my chest, on my abs, and wherever her hands can reach.
My cock goes back to its aching state, at that.
“mm, baby.” I pull back and exhale a sigh when she successfully unbuttons my shirt and throws it on the ground.
She guides a single finger over my abs- which flex as an approving reflex- and plays with the waistband of my boxers peeking out of my pants.
I’m reminded with the sticky material pressing against me right then and there, and she noticed the damp spot over my crotch when she pulls my pants down.
She looks up in surprise, apparently shocked that I’m so horny I came in my damn boxers.
Not gonna lie, a first for me, too.
I smirk. “surprised?”
“very.” She laughs.
I like this. Her. I can be who I am with this woman.
I can laugh with her during foreplay, for example.
On her knees, she looks up at me through innocent eyes and dark lashes as she pulls the barrier of my boxers down.
She stares at my length, appearing impressed- and scared- at the sheer size of it.
“fuck. You drive me insane.” A low grumble of bewilderment.
“I know.” A giggle of satisfaction. “you wanna fuck my throat?”
Judging off the fact that she goes to take me in her mouth, probably thinking I’ll say ‘yes’, she presses a kiss to the tip of my cock before sucking it into her mouth.
Such a fucking tease.
But we’re not doing this.
Not now.
I struggle to suppress a moan, pulling her up by her hand as I shake my head.
“Maybe another time.”
She stares at me with a scrunch of confusion in her brows before nodding in understanding.
I take her hand in mine and wrap it around my cock, stroking it once
Her eyes droop low in a shadow of wanting need as she watches the movement with her bottom lip between her teeth.
As I guide her through the hand job, I pull her to me by the neck, her hand in mine stuck between our bodies as I kiss her with feverish need.
Her rhythm accelerates and she squeezes me, making my orgasm almost tip over the edge.
I hold back with all my might as I loudly release a pornographic moan in her mouth, as to which she smiles into the kiss in return.
She bites my lips and pulls it to her before releasing it, sucking on my tongue right after. Stroking me even faster as she presses her mouth to me farther.
I can barely keep up, bur I’m not complaining.
It’s been a while since I’ve had sex this hungry.
She’s impatient and I’m testing her limits.
But I’m afraid my limits were crossed over in the process.
Apparently in the mood to torture myself now more than ever, I pull both of our hands away from my cock right as I’m about to cum.
“what’s wrong-“
“I need to be inside you.” She closes her mouth shut.
“need to feel you around me.” I kiss her.
“need to cum inside of you.” She moans.
“who's stopping you?”
Well damn.
Right to the point.
“shut up.” As I carry her to my bedroom.
Neither of us have time to contemplate anything as I set her gently on the bed.
She slightly bounces, at which she giggles at as I get rid of the bunched up dress at her waist.
Pulling it over her head, her tits bounce as she plops back onto the mattress and takes me down to her by her grip on my neck.
“easy, baby.” I smirk before her lips are on mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
We're both naked.
Skin to skin.
Me and my best friend.
My cock glides easily along her pussy, a result of her being so wet.
For me.
Pretty baby’s as horny for me as I am for her.
“gonna let me fuck you good?” I pant as my hips accelerate in rhythm, bumping and grinding against her. “huh?”
She moans when my tip nudges her clit, and I do it again and again as we both grow needier.
Hungrier.
More and more desperate for the feel of each other.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back once I’ve gotten a taste of her.
So I take my damn time.
Her hot, wet pussy glides smoothly along my length as I grind on her frantically.
We’re like horny bunnies in heat, eager for release.
Unable to wait any longer, I stroke my cock once before nudging it along her entrance.
She moans at that, and looks down as she watches me jerk myself off with the tip inside her.
I stroke myself only once more, and she says, “do that again.”
She likes watching me jerk-off?
Well, fuck.
“you like that?”
She moans and clenches around my tip when I stroke myself again. Writhing underneath me makes her look borderline desperate as she pants.
Her tits go up and down in rhythm with her rushed breathing, and her peaked nipples beg for attention.
I take a nipple in my mouth, entering y/n one inch further.
A little sigh of contentment is all I get before she clenches around me so hard my breath is cut off.
I groan around her nipple, slightly biting on it as I release it with a pop.
I go slow the rest of the way it takes me to fully nestle inside y/n’s pussy.
She feels heavenly, so warm and wet and- heavenly.
My eyes are hard on the spot where my pelvis meets hers in an incredible show of intimacy, and my jaw clenches from how fucking tight she is.
y/n catches my attention by digging her nails into my forearm, silently pleading me to look at her.
So I do.
And, fuck. I might bust a nut right here and now.
y/n’s crying.
A tear runs down her face and she sniffles. Once.
I smooth a palm down her cheek, pushing stray strands away from her pretty face.
“what’s wrong?”
My cock is so deep in her that I’m 100% sure, if I press down on her stomach, I'll feel it there.
She struggles to answer me, her voice barely above a whisper when she whispers to me.
“it hurts.” Her voice breaks. “it hurts s-so good.”
The way her voice trembles and shakes is making it hard for me to breath.
Okay…
She’s an emotional fuck.
Such a pretty emotional fuck.
“You’re too big.”
I lock eyes with her when I slightly nudge my hips forward, her eyes snapping shut right when I do so.
Silently, I press a reassuring kiss to her lips which makes her open those pretty dreamy eyes for me.
“we’ll make it work.” With a deep sigh, I pull out of her only to slowly thrust my way back inside. “I’ll make it fit…” I snake a hand down her body to circle her clit gently. She whimpers. “…and it’ll feel good.”
She hums when I repeat my movements with slow reassurance, letting her adjust and take her time.
“look at you. Doing such a good job for me.”
She pulls me in deeper with her legs as they circle around my hips, caging me in as her nails graze my back.
She moans in my ears and I’m barely able to contain my damn hunger when she bites her lip while maintaining eye contact.
What on earth is happening to me.
Love?
Must be an insane amount of lust injected into my veins.
Does viagra have this long of an effect?
I’ve swam deep into this pool of desire, so lost in her eyes and breathy moans that I don’t notice how fast my thrusts have grown.
On a particularly harsh thrust, my hips brutally snap into hers as I pull out and do it again and again until she’s breathlessly moaning my name with tears in her eyes.
“yeah?” I dip my head into the damp crook of her neck.
She smells so damn sweet.
Like cherries, and….strawberries?
Maybe even a hint of vanilla.
Jesus christ.
Get a damn grip.
“it feels so good.” As she chokes on a sob.
“mhm?” I groan into her neck, the sound a low grumble of approval. “you wanna say that again?”
My hips are moving an animalistic speed at this point as she claws at my back and cries my name.
“jungkook!” a sob.
“you gonna cum for me? Huh?” I circle her clit again, and when I feel her clench so tight around me I can barely move, I know she’s cumming.
Without removing my face from her neck, I cover her mouth with my hand and snap my hips into hers again and again. Relentlessly.
“cum for me.”
She screams into my hand and bites it to muffle the sound, her body shaking under my own trembling body.
She whimpers as she comes down from her high, kissing my hand as a way of asking me to remove it.
My rhythm grows sloppy and lazy as my thrusts slow down, and with one last hard thrust into her, I’m biting into her neck with a rough “holy fuck” as I cum the hardest I've ever have in my whole 26 years of living.
I still inside her, unmoving as I kiss her neck lazily- apparently unable of giving up the sweet scent of her- as she runs her hands over my back and into my hair.
We stay like that for a while, both silent and content, the post-orgasm glow evident on both of our high faces.
Humming into the sweet taste of her throat, she giggles as the gesture seems to tickle her. One last kiss to her neck.
I roll off of her, careful not to crush her with my weight. We both grimace when I pull out of her, equally overstimulated.
We were horny best friends, frustrated and bothered just a little while ago.
Now?
We’re still best friends…I think.
Best friends who fucked like animals in heat.
But, unlike how I expected it to be, it’s not awkward at all.
When I turn my head to look at the beauty lying next to me, she has her eyes already closed as she seems to be dozing off to sleep.
I get up, making quick work to grab a glass of water and some damp towels, sitting back down next to her.
Cleaning her up only takes me a couple minutes to do the task as gently as I could, careful not to hurt her. I almost feel bad from how swollen and sore she’s going to be tomorrow.
I bend down and press a peck on her clit, the intention one of pure apology.
Maybe I went too hard.
“what’s that look for?” her voice speaks up from next to me.
“hm?”
“you’re frowning. Why?”
“I just- I'm sorry if I hurt you.” A small smile. “I got a bit carried away.”
“mm, you did.” She agrees.
Wait…did I actually hurt her?
She cackles at the hint of alarm in my eyes as she swats my arm.
“you’re okay, big guy. You didn’t hurt me…much.” She smiles a cheeky smile as she tries to stand up, wobbling as I grab her arm.
“you cried.” My voice is hoarse when I tell her that. It’s true. She cried, and it was the second hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed, first being her pretty pussy. “it was hot.”
She shyly smiles at me, bending down to kiss me softly. She waddles to the bathroom- naked- as she stops at the entryway to look back at me over her shoulder.
“come shower with me.”
Should I?
Don’t mind if I do.
“okay.” The soft look in my eyes disappears to make way to mischief. She cathces onto that too quick. “round two?”
She snorts at that. “I’m afraid I’d pass out.”
“I mean…”
She gasps, as if in betrayal.
“you’re not seriously considering it, are you?!”
I step closer to her, my hand on her neck before I claim her lips. “and what if I am?”
how's may treating everyone so far?
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