#i’ll be ok

[pixlokita]

Delectable

[sillylittleraccoon]

im moving soon and i don’t know how to feel about it.

on one hand im excited to be able to start all over, have a new place to explore

but on the other im gonna miss my friends, the woods i grew up exploring and hiking around.

also- im scared to see how im gonna react to the environment around me.

my yard is gonna have fake grass and im gonna have super close neighbors.

it’s scary and exciting at the same time :(

[bumpintheroad]

i don’t know what it is about sundays but i find that my desire to be someone’s girl and have someone be mine takes up so much mental real estate that it’s all i can focus on, and after having a couple failed dates and traumatic “almost maybes” i feel disheartened and sad that no matter what i do it doesn’t seem to be working or bringing me any closer to someone who genuinely cares about me or wants to be w me.

[365granitegirlx]

Soul baring under the cut. Treating this as my diary. Discussion of depression, SI, ocd, anxiety, grief, addiction withdrawal. Even if you don’t read it, good feelings would be nice.

I’m going on a weekend trip tomorrow to a beach that I haven’t been to since January. When I was there I desperately wanted to just fling myself in the ocean. I hated everything, mainly myself. Now, on August 1st, I am not in that spot. But OCD is clinging so hard to that pattern.

“You were there near the beginning of a month and felt bad last time. You’ll go there this weekend and feel the same. You’ll ruin the trip. 🦦 will be angry with you. You’ll upset their grandma. You’ll want to die again. She’ll remind you of the grandma you lost last year. You should have talked to her more. You fucked up. 🦦 is better at being a grandchild than you.”

At the moment, I’m going through withdrawals from a (non substance) addiction. Times like this make me want to backslide. That addiction is all I know. And even now ocd is saying things will be royally fucked if I don’t backslide and “finish the loop,” as I see it. Feel bad - indulge in addiction - get your fix - feel better - feel bad -indulge over and over and over and over

[angeltannis]

Finally feel recovered enough to attempt going to work…on my birthday 🥴

[healthyfitprincess]

Finally out of my falling apart phase, and into my healing phase. It feels so good to be able to finally breathe again 💜

[neon-kazoo]

Hey, ok? You're probably not ok if you got bad news but are you getting by? Do you want to vent or want us to ask about it? Sometimes that helps I think

One step at a time, one day at a time, ok?

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

This is so sweet, thank you.

I am indeed getting by.

I usually try not to share too many personal details online, but since I’m struggling a bit with this, I figure yelling into the void (tumblr lol) might help.

Below is some discussion of medical issues (absolutely no obligation for anyone to continue reading, especially if the topic makes you uncomfortable. Please don’t forget to take care of yourselves too <3)

Yesterday, I visited a new specialist who did some testing due to a recent autoimmune diagnosis of mine. I have been dismissed a lot in the past, so I usually go in expecting test results to be normal. This time, I was wrong.

Apparently, I have moderate pulmonary obstruction, that I’ve just…never noticed?? I guess between disabling POTS and the tendency to convince myself symptoms are all in my head, shortness of breath must not have concerned me.

(Yeah, that’s about as concerning as it sounds)

So, yay, more testing.

Best case scenario, I have asthma (never thought I’d be hoping to have asthma lol). Worst case scenario, there is disease activity in my lungs, courtesy of my wonderful immune system. There is also a possibility of vocal cord dysfunction, but I don’t know much about that.

I already live with a plethora of health issues, but this one just caught me off guard. It hits harder when you’re not expecting it, and quite frankly it’s a little scary.

Whatever I find out, though, I will continue to get by. Not my first rodeo, and definitely not my last.

Either way, at least I always have Hero and Villain to project onto if I get overwhelmed LMAO.

I think this helped, thank you anon for checking in on me.

[cinnamostar]

working my 9-5 into doing normal human responsibilities into doing homework until 9:30pm is so plekdkekekdkke T - T my brain is fried im going to bed early tonight..

[bobasthrone]

//serious medical stuff about mother//

Hey I’m gonna be not as active for a while because my mom may have stage 4 colon cancer that has also spread to her liver. The doctors are talking like it is even though there’s no diagnosis yet. It’s highly likely. She’s also recovering from surgery at the hospital.

Maybe in a week or 2 after the dust settles I’ll be back on more frequently

[snuggledupblanketdragon]

kinda been in the mood where I wanna lay down and take on and off naps for ten years but I know that if I do that I’ll just feel worse so I try to get up and do things but then I still feel bad while doing them and I end up laying down anyway I’m feeling something but I don’t know what am I sad angry disappointed bored I’m just so unmotivated to do anything I wanna get up I wanna get out but I don’t want to deal with everything that comes with that I wanna see my friend but I know they’re busy I wanna talk but I never have anything interesting to say I feel like there is a void inside me and I want it gone but I don’t think filling it up will help

[irrationalrage]

So it looks like my job will be dropping me back down to part time hours after next week.

Which while fantastic for my like entire mental health, is kind of a bummer for my paycheck. Because bills. Have you seen how much groceries are these days??

So uh, please send winning lottery numbers vibes to me or something, thank you!

[kumishona]

beginning a new knitted project is a miserable experience. like you painstakingly make about three thousand preparatory swatches, then still have to frog your work 10+ times because the fuck it i don’t care about mistakes mindset hasn’t set in yet

[roseytoesy]

Vore vent thing…

do you ever just want to hide away from the world? I do often since stress is fairly detrimental to my health but I can’t avoid it since it’s in my very genetics to be anxious all the time.

I just want to be held, told it’s going to be ok, that I can take a break. To be swallowed up and kept safe in their very core as I cry my heat out knowing that they are the only one hearing me. that I can kick and scream and yell and they are more than fine with it, they’ve had much rougher prey than me before. But after it’s all said and done. I’d be able to sleep peacefully in the warm plush darkness of them. Knowing I’ll wake up to a new day with them at my side, willing and ready to protect and support me through my hard times in life…

[yumeyleo]

finally, im excited for something

[wrathofrats]

I will always appreciate you and love your work even if it takes a little bit! I know I’ve said this before on here but sometimes making any kind of art (yes writing is art, especially yours) is like making a good soup. You gotta let it simmer and sit for a bit so that it comes out even better.

Ya doin great!

-🍁

Awodhdodns thank you leaf,

The everything kinda sucks rn for many reasons and I usually write to escape or give myself some fun but, obv the brain is broke is it’s just frustrating but I’ll be ok

Thank you, like genuinely this was so so insanely sweet of you, you’re amazing (:

[freefolkfightorflight]

Lol my pipes are frozen even though I did what the old mean man landlord said and he’s gonna lose his shit 💀🥺 I don’t have the capacity to deal with angry men in my life anymore. I just do not. Sob