#anyways i’m just venting

[bumpintheroad]

i don’t know what it is about sundays but i find that my desire to be someone’s girl and have someone be mine takes up so much mental real estate that it’s all i can focus on, and after having a couple failed dates and traumatic “almost maybes” i feel disheartened and sad that no matter what i do it doesn’t seem to be working or bringing me any closer to someone who genuinely cares about me or wants to be w me.

[dog-violet]

i’m so glad my brain just erases headcanons that i hate from my mind. sometimes having awful memory is a good thing

[thegirldoesthehitting]

.

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[ii-magician]

I hope you know you ruined Percy Jackson for me I hope you know that you ruined so many of my favorite things and I hope you know how much it sucks i hope you know how big the hole in my life you made is

[chaosinplural]

i feel like the tragedy of being aroace is that i’m never going to be anyone’s favorite person. like at some point everyone’s favorite person is going to be whoever they have sex with and kiss and i’m never going to want that. hell i don’t even have a best friend now but even if i do i’ll still be second to their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband because that’s how the world works

[syrupfog]

Being the captain means always being the one everyone turns to.

[ask-the-colony-tree-siblings]

Hey, Hunter!

Aside from the chronic back pain, what other long lasting symptoms did you have from the Rot, if any?

((Okay! So my attempt to answer this somehow developed into a rant about Hunter’s characterization so… here you go lol.))

So I have to answer this on Hunter’s behalf, because part of his character is that he doesn’t like to admit any sort of weakness. Apart from chronic pain, I essentially just gave him the symptoms of low iron. He gets light headed and dizzy, and he is often tired or low energy. 

Hunter has this mindset that being weak, or showing weakness makes you useless. (I wonder what could have possibly made him develop that way of thinking. Surely nothing to do with the way he was raised and treated growing up.) Keep in mind, Hunter’s very logical logic only applies to him. He wouldn’t judge Survivor for not being strong, Hunter just has unhealthy expectations of himself that definitely aren’t realistic anymore with his post-rot symptoms, and were never actually that realistic to begin with.

He has a habit of ignoring his own symptoms, and pretending to be perfectly fine when he isn’t. He’d never admit it if his chronic pain is making it difficult for him to function properly. 

(His physical health is one thing, but don’t even get me started on how Hunter views his mental health lmao.)

Uhhh anyways bonus light headed/dizzy Hunter:

[conjectureand-gloom]

so let’s get something straight: if i cover my ears because i cannot stand the sound of someone chewing, im being rude. so i don’t cover my ears and instead end up in tears, and im being dramatic and im an attention seeker. so i move away from whoever it is who is chewing, and im being disrespectful and making that person feel bad, so clearly im a horribly selfish person. so i blast music to drown out the sound of somebody chewing, but its rude to listen to music at the dinner table, so obviously i have no manners and im a horrible person. how can i win this???

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[dragonologist-phd]

If I had a nickel for every time I saw “well this canonically bisexual woman was clearly ‘written for straight men’ therefore it’s actually not sexist to hate her and discount her as queer rep” I’d have too many fucking nickels

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i realize i will most likely never be loved the way i love and that i have always come second, third or fourth even tho i always make time to put people i care about first because i want the people in my life to feel loved in the same way that i so desperately want to be loved. just came to the realization that i will probably never ever get the love i truly want :,)

[theprongspotter]

With all the physical and verbal abuse and the manipulation my parents have done I want to run away so bad, but I literally don’t have anywhere to go

I have no support

[authenticcadence18]

can’t sleep. here’s doodles for an animatic I’ll never post. ✌️

[albaqae]

TW- DEPICTIONS OF PANIC ATTACK, OVERSTIMULATION AND DISSOCIATION, BRIGHT COLORS, also I vent a little :)

In honor of my most recent new rock-bottom record, decided to draw this scene from @tangledinink fanfic :)

This scene hit really close to home, I’ve just never seen overstimulation and panic attack described so well, it made me feel like maybe im not that odd and there’s actual people who know what it’s like. I dunno what that means for me yet but I feel seen so maybe it’s a good thing or maybe it’s the opposite and it’s just ANOTHER rock bottom I just hit lol

Screenshots of the scene under cut! That way u can c what I mean when I say THIS WRITING IS SO ANGELIC AND IT FEELS LIKE A GENUINE NEW TMNT GENERATION AND UGHHAHAHWHJZNSZ

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN.

[asukiess]

rapidly oscillating between “why make stories if they end up the same, do I have some kind of brain fog that makes me dumb and incapable to do new things” to “no, I have specific authors whose works I read and reread specifically because they have 20 fics that hit the same spot in slightly different ways and yet the same” to “the time will pass anyway and time is fleeting” to “what would everyone think?” to “fandom to supposed to be fun” to “what if i just wrote it for myself” to “but i want to share it” to “why” to a dial tone that makes me wonder again to the first point