#i’m on a long story short spiral lol

[loth-creatures]

Knowing how much Ahsoka struggled to be Sabine's master --- would she get advice from Kanan when she visits Lothal? Most likely giant wolf to giant wolf??

Wellll see I kinda ditched the entire Jedi!Sabine narrative. Listen if they HAD to go that direction, I believe they could have done it well but they really did not (to put it generously), and while I've considered trying to do it better myself, at the end of the day I wish they just hadn't done that at all.

Tldr: Ahsoka and Kanan probably will have a giant wolf to giant wolf conversation but idk if it'll be about looking out for Sabine or searching for Ezra or what

So this is my tentative and unrefined interpretation of Ahsoka and Sabine's relationship for SWW Ahsoka, aka roughly how I imagined it would be like before that damn show ever came out (sorry in advance this spiraled all over the place. I meant to elaborate a little bit and then I couldn't stop. I tried to keep it concise but. There's a lot to unpack that I didn't expect to have to unpack in order to get to the point lol)

First and foremost Sabine isn't fucking Force-sensitive. Ahsoka teaches her a lot about the Jedi, and continues her lightsaber training, and I think Jedi teachings and excercises can have a lot of value to ordinary people! But she's not trying to be a Jedi. Ahsoka does feel mentorly instincts towards Sabine, partly bc she knows what she's going through as a very young veteren and genocide survivor. Partly bc she does feel the need to pass her knowledge on to someone. Partly bc deep down Ahsoka is pretty damn lonely too, and Sabine is very family-shaped. And also because wolfwalkers stick together.

They call her Ahsoka's 'practice padawan' as a joke. Huyang is like. You really ought to find a Padawan one of these days. And Ahsoka's like. Why would I need a Padawan I have Sabine. And Huyang is like. Listen I'm very happy to have Sabine with us but you ought to get a real Padawan.

But how could Ahsoka ever take on a student while she's still wrangling with whether or not she wants to be a Jedi? Which, they never actually show her making a decision on that. Or rather there's really no transition between "I am no Jedi" and whatever she's got going on in the show which. Long story short, I hated it. Ass writing. In my personal opinion.

I think I’m just gonna lean into the idea that she feels like she can't truly be a Jedi whether she wants to or not bc she was trained to be a soldier instead, combined with the fear of Anakin's darkness manifesting in herself, distrust of his training, etc. Up until the point where she decides to put Anakin behind her for good and trust in her own experiences, during her WBW adventure (which goes way differently in my head but I will elaborate on that later. Maybe.) But for the purposes of this au, she doesn't even commit to being a Jedi again until dying for the 3rd(?) time and honestly maybe she still doesn't. Maybe it takes all the way to wet puppy Shin dropping in her lap that she sees her path as a Jedi path. Idk.

Ahsoka's arc is not an aspect of the story I expected to address in depth myself so idk how much I'm gonna get into it within the comic itself. It's hard to go over every issue bc lothwolfwalkers is just an anthology series adapting small chunks of the timeline that I find work well with the wolfwalking, and I'm trying not to make more work for myself than I have to, bc I already have plenty. Rewrite is maybe a strong word, when I'm just cherry picking what I liked from the ahsoka show and adjusting what I didn't like in a way that keeps the overall plot intact for simplicity sake. I will eventually write an official detailed ahsoka-from-my-head post, but the comics will just be little scenes based on that.

Anyway,

Regarding Sabine and Ahsoka's falling out. It doesn’t happen. In fact I think Ahsoka will take Sabine under her wing after the fall of Mandalore and they just immediately start looking for Ezra in the unknown regions, bc Sabine is like hey I have nothing left here can we go look for my brother now. They don't find anything. Eventually Ahsoka gets wrapped up in other business and Sabine ends up back on Lothal depressed as fuck (despite Kanan, Hera, and Zeb's best efforts to be there for her, infinitely more than what is depicted in the show) until Ahsoka finds the map and shows up for round 2. Or smth like that.

Side note: I am going to declare the Wrens MIA not dead. Because I hate hate hate that they were unceremoniously killed off screen and wasted the way they were. I guess I could just unkill them completely but well I am a sucker for that angst and something about the devastation of that reveal seared it so deep in my head that I can't imagine the story without it now (thanks for that Dave. Fuck you Dave.) So uh, they're trapped on Mandalore with those other survivors from Mando S3. After Sabine's already left for Peridea they manage to finally get off Mandalore due to S3 events and track down Hera and are like WHERE IS SABINE. Cue Clan Wren Ghost Crew team up to get their fucking kids back. Though everyone will probably make it back on their own before they figure out a way to hop galaxies.

[heartnosekid]

hey friends, i need to gush a lil - feel free to skip this post if you don’t want my gushing lol

so, i’m just. without words to express how grateful i am to all of you. when i started this blog, i was at my lowest creatively. in all honesty, i was spiraling. i was so full of creative energy and ideas, but i had no outlet through which i could feel satisfied. that left me feeling very overwhelmed and empty at the same time. i am an author primarily, but i’ve always loved visual arts and creating visually pleasing things.

long story short, this blog and all of you have honestly saved me from the worst creative drought of my entire life. i have always created, been known for creating, and excelled at creating, and when i came to the tallest wall of inability to create i’d ever seen, i was met with a request to create. and i have scarcely stopped since.

i am so thankful and grateful and blessed to have my work viewed and appreciated by so many of you. i cannot stress it enough, you all have changed my life. it may sound silly, being that i run a tumblr stim blog and know literally 3 out of you 14.000 (what?!) personally, but i don’t say this lightly.

you all have changed the way i feel about my art, which was something i have always deeply struggled with. you have taught me that no matter how small my contributions may be, they still matter to at least one person. that person could be me, or the person i created something for; regardless, i have made a hopefully positive impact on someone.

i love you all so very much. as a disabled person who has a lot of free time, i have known how much of my time can be spent worrying, despairing, or self sabotaging. but since i started taking requests and teaching myself how to consistently create without burning out, i spend a good bit of my energy focusing on the good i can give to people, even if it is only in the form of a stimboard or a gifset.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you. thank you so much. you mean the absolute world to me, and i hope that this blog and i mean something to you, anything at all. because it literally was my lifesaver, and so were you.

thank you all, i love you endlessly, & blessed be,

gratefully yours, ish 💕

[number1girl]

I don’t follow celebrities so I have very little idea what’s going on with Johnny depp but I’m really confused why everyone on tumblr is so adamant that he’s the one in the wrong when everywhere else the opposite opinion is popular? like i don’t get it

yeah i’m not sure, I think it’s because tumblr has always been the “social justice” website lmao, so maybe there are less totally shameless men’s rights activists on here. or maybe it’s because the bot farms depp and his team have been using to orchestrate a smear campaign against amber heard are more active on twitter. but still, there are pleeeennntttyyy of depp supporters on this website too.

can’t blame you for not caring about celebrities, but this case is imo pretty important in terms of the legal and cultural precedent it’s setting for victims of abuse, and also in terms of what it’s saying about the rampant misogyny in our society right now. 

long story short, johnny depp, 48, married amber heard, in her twenties (previously, he dated winona ryder when he was 26 and she was 17). he abused amber physically, emotionally, and sexually. there is extensive evidence of this. if you wanna learn more about how abuse works and what causes it (because there's a LOT of misinfo going around right now) I highly recommend the book Why Does He Do That?.

in 2016, she successfully filed a restraining order against him, and came forward with allegations of abuse. they divorced, and he had to pay her seven million dollars in the settlement, which she pledged to charity. they made a joint statement agreeing that neither party had made false accusations for financial gain (ie, depp wasn’t denying the abuse). he continued to be one of the highest paid actors in hollywood (he’s earned millions upon millions since amber first made her allegations), and didn’t lose any roles as a result of the allegations.

then, The Sun, a UK newspaper, ran a headline calling him a wifebeater. Depp took them to court for libel, in a country where it’s VERY hard to lose a libel case. It was supposed to be an easy win for him, but he lost, with a judge ruling that 12 out of 14 incidents of alleged abuse were proven "to the civil standard” (the other two were ruled likely, but didn’t have enough evidence to be proven). So - he’s now a court convicted wifebeater, and because of this, he was dropped from the new harry potter movie (but still paid!).

Amber Heard also wrote an op-ed where she identified herself as a survivor of abuse, but didn’t mention Depp by name. Depp is now suing her for defamation, in Virginia, where less strict anti-SLAPP laws make it easier for him to manipulate the court system for his own purposes. He’s claiming that her op-ed is the reason he lost movie roles/his career is in a downward spiral, even though, as I mentioned, he was dropped from the harry potter movie because of his OWN failed lawsuit. (also, he's an alcoholic and a coke addict, and people haven't wanted him on set for years because he's a menace who often can't shoot scenes because he's too drunk or high, costing studios lots of money, and is overall difficult to work with). he's also claiming that amber was the abusive one, which is patently not true. her use of violence (which she has been open about from the very beginning) was in self-defense; his was to control, dominate, and torture her. (and no, she did not cut his finger off).

I’ve made a ton of posts about this and im not gonna rehash all my opinions on this one ask lol, but you can search my blog or google (take everything with a grain of salt, though, because like i mentioned, depp's PR team has been pushing a scarily successful smear campaign against amber). @justiceamberheard is also a great source. But put simply:

[shiny-miltank]

why hello old friends, you’ve found me once again (it wasn’t a secret really lol). to start off myello. sorry for disappearing off the Mewcrew blog. It gets all kinda wordy so it’s under a readmore.

Long story short I suffered from a mental Illinois(tm) spiral of depression, work exhaustion, undiagnosed/untreated adhd and big time imposter syndrome + burnout. Zoom into today I’ve been in therapy for my big time sads with some new perspectives and management, got some adhd meds, my job quit on me (long story) so now I’m slinging it freelance artist style and seeing how it goes, and back with family cause living alone was expensive and very Not Good for my brain it turned out. Still working on new changes and learning about the anxious smorgasbord up in the head.

Now there’s still no guarantee? That Mewcrew stuff is going to come back in full force like it did. Im still trying to like it again cause I do miss them. It took a long time and effort just to draw them for the wips I got going in the bg after like the three years leaving. Tbh the blog became something I didn’t want and instead of casual, low effort, funny not serious Just Roomates on misadventures in a pink void comic it became long hours of planning and plotting and rendering and feeling it wasn’t enough with my nasty soup of brain ick continuing to make me feel bad for not keeping up with a constant pace and comparing my work to the artists around me (again it was my brain funguses making reality hard-no one else. The artists around me back then were legit the nicest peeps around-still are). I’m also still really nervous and anxious around big communities that seemed to have sprung up HELLO ALL OF YOU LOL. I remember when it was just three of us xD And I still have to sit with my imposter syndrome and understanding I have things to offer that people do want to see and to stop anxieties from comparing my work to others.

So for now if I am posting Mewcrew stuff it’s mostly going to be here on my main from now on and not an individual blog (me figuring it’s just a lot of effort to keep up with so many blogs and logins, I think any new project or direction I go is just gonna be slapped on my main from now on. The less effort the better for my energy.). It’ll be sporadic and in a much different direction that was more akin to what I wanted it to be and much more casual comedy (or my flat sense of humor-I’ll laugh at knock knock jokes fr) slice of life with very little, even parody “plot”. And most of it until im comfortable with releasing complete mewcrew/mewtwo content will be on my patreon with again spurts of it here on tumblr and on my other socials. And if any of you come into my inbox saying I’m paywalling my own content AGAIN I will come for your kneecaps no joke you are NOT entitled to my work ESPECIALLY when this is now my main form of income. Anything on my patreon is /extra/ and early works and for peeps who choose to/want to and or capable of supporting me. That was literally the final straw that made me take a step out way back then: there’s still somebody behind the screen please remember that. This is just for my anxieties and getting comfortable with my characters again at a slow pace👍 I do miss everyone I use to interact with and want to be part of the bigger community here that’s sprouted up. Just gotta walk slowly with my social anxiety and other things first.

Thanks for reading and choosing to stick around if you do!

[cyncerity]

hi everyone! little bit of an update!!

to those of you waiting for the next part in the store shifter au: it’s almost done, i swear.

the rest of this is a lengthy explanation cause y’all know me, i can’t write something short. tldr will be bolded at the bottom if you don’t wanna read all this.

i wanna explain something real quick: in my early years of middle school, i was into creepypasta, which pipelined into Marble Hornets, which pipelined into a ton of other slenderverse series. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an ARG with an emphasis on characters being stalked or hunted by Slenderman. All of them are really really good in their own way and do interesting things with not only Slendy, but adding their own new big bad’s and lore and i’d highly recommend watching one if you haven’t yet. (i may make a separate post about which you should watch based on what kind of content you most enjoy cause i really want to indoctrinate more people into this)

My favorite slenderverse at the time had a very big emphasis on early November, specifically November 11th. So i started to have a little tradition of watching those videos every November 11th even after the hyperfixation had faded just for a bit of nostalgia.

Fast forward to now- it has snowballed to the point where every year for over half a decade now, November 11th rolls around and I am thrown violently headfirst back into my slenderverse phase. I cannot control it. I’ll be like “ok this year i’ll be normal about it, after this long, surely watching one video won’t spiral me again” and it always fucking does. No other hyperfixation i’ve ever had has functioned on a calendar cycle so idk wtf this is. This is the 6th year of this. I cannot escape.

So yeah, per how it’s been since middle school, November-January my main hyperfixation will be slenderverse. It could be shorter, it could be longer, but that’s the general pattern i’ve noticed over the years. After that i’ll pretty much be back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not taking a 3 month hiatus or anything. I promise i will do my best to get the store shifter au part out before fucking 2024. But if you’ve sent me an ask recently and i’ve ignored it, i’m genuinely so sorry, but i can’t force myself to work on new stuff right now when mcyt g/t isn’t my main interest. I’ll do my best to get to it eventually when the hyperfixation comes back a bit more, i do read and process and think about every single ask i receive and it always makes my day when i get a new ask, but yeah. For the next few months i’m probably only gonna be working on and posting stuff that’s been in the works, are from asks that we’re given to me like a year ago and already have wips in progress to answer them, or art that i just haven’t given you yet.

on the other hand, if you’re reading this and you like creepypasta or slenderverse stuff, i’ve created what i think is literally my 5th fucking blog! @cynningly <-i’ve been spamming this for like 4 days cause i refuse to be normal about slenderverse stuff, but follow there if you want horror stuff and so far just a bunch of really shitty edits of internet arg sexyman villains. Also yes all of my blogs have to have “cyn” in the name somewhere, that’s how you can tell it’s me lmao

tldr:

my hyperfixations switched up again, im really into slenderverse (slenderman-centric args) at the moment and likely will be till January. This is a cycle that’s been going on for years now. made an alt for it -> @cynningly

I will still be working to post mcyt g/t stuff, but only stuff that’s a wip or has been in the works for a while. to anyone who has sent an ask recently: sorry, but i can’t take on making new stuff when my focus isn’t purely on mcyt rn. I will do my best to get to it eventually and if you’re one of the people who’s sent a story request or ask recently i truly, truly appreciate it. y’all make my day. but, yeah, that’s what’s going on with me lol

[glittercake]

could you go into your writing process a bit? i’ve been a fan of your fics for years now, and i still find myself in awe of how you’re able to create these cohesive worlds and voices and dynamics and just how tight your writing is. like i never feel like anything should be cut and even if all the loose ends aren’t tied up, i feel like it ends right where it should. like i’m so curious to see how your brain turns out so much magic!!

Oh my gosh, this is so nice of you to say 😭 Thank you first of all!  Secondly, I'll try to map out my process for big wips below the cut! Hope it makes sense 🤭 But this ask literally put a smile on my face all day, so thanks again. 

So to start off, I usually have a good idea of exactly how the story should end. That helps big time with everything else. If I don't know kind of what happens in the middle and exactly how it should end, I really struggle. 

Then I have a separate doc where I write down all my notes or thoughts about the stories, and also do the outlines. The story ideas come either extremely randomly, like me falling down a rabbit hole of presidential assassinations on YouTube (y'all know what this resulted in) or they're a result of my friend and i spiraling about something in the DMs (lighthouse, boxing fic, soulmate fics, most of the horny ones too 😂)

I also like to gather some pics just to get an idea of what the characters look like in whatever universe I'm writing about, as well as the scenery and buildings/layout. So for example, i used these inspo pics for The First Gentleman:

So every time I open the doc to write I'd have these, the outline, and the notes open. Other visuals like the banner or graphics I make also help put me in the right mindset for the story.

So, before I start writing, I draft an outline. I try to keep it brief tbh, the longer and more involved the outline the more intimidating the story feels which means less chance of me actually writing it 😅 (there are about 3 outlines that will probably never see the light of day!) but brief doesn't always work so what i do, especially for long wips, is make a short bullet list for what needs to happen in each chapter.

This way i can accommodate plot bunnies, shift stuff around and kill the darlings before i get too attached, i usually also have a few key scenes in my head and i then fit them in here. Outlines also include stuff like a quick character write up like age, quirks, bad habits, cute habits or sayings they have (in Ain't No Grave they had this cute back and forth "keep up now" or in Ruins Bucky called everyone meatballs.)

This is roughly what a chapter outline looks like for me:

lmaooo. as you can see it's very informal. basically a scribble.

Usually when I'm super inspired, i can get going straight away, otherwise I let it turn over in my head a little bit until i come up with a good starting point. What also helps me cement the character voices and specific characteristics is re-watching whatever source media it relates to. So for me it's always Cap 2 & 3 and TFATWS, Endgame where Sam gets the shield, and Sam’s scene in AoU and Antman.

I prefer to write in order from start to finish. I find I lose interest too quickly if I don't. Having a point to work toward is easier for me. BUT at the bottom of the notes/outline doc I also have a section for scenes that I absolutely can't get out of my head and need to write down right the fuck now. For example Monica’s induction in TFG was written waaay before anything else, so was the sambucky reunion in that fic. But, because I placed it at the bottom of a separate doc, the fic was still technically written in order 😌 makes perfect sense, I know lol.

Then whenever I finish a bullet point in the outline, I color it off the list. This process helps me keep track of what has been done and what still needs to happen. Seeing how much I've completed also really helps to keep me motivated, plus the colors are fun! Helps with sticking to what i had planned too, i find if i don't follow outlines, the scenes and characterization kind of jump all over the place. Mostly i only have some time on weekends to write so knowing exactly what i need to write and how i need to write it beforehand is key to me. Having the outline done before I start means I have a week to play those scenes out in my head or play with the dialogue until it sounds right. 

If I get stuck, I read either a book or my favorite fics, do some art, or just leave it be until inspo strikes again.

And I think that’s about it. Don’t know if this is what you were looking for but there you have it 😂 

💕 

I’m always happy to get asks about my fics and writing, so don’t be shy!

[melliotwrites]

hey melliot ! is jason anywhere on the aroace spectrum ?? idk if i’m reading into it too much, but as someone on the aroace spectrum, i don’t know seemed very aroace spectrum-y to me lols

Hi! Thank you for the question- I'm glad you connected to Jason through that lens and his story resonated with you!

This is a common reading of Jason's arc, and I want to reiterate what I've said on this blog before about death of the author and our intentions with the work not making fan headcanons "wrong" or "inaccurate"- your readings and connections to the material give it life and meaning beyond what we could have possibly dreamed of on our own!

The short answer is that I didn't intend for Jason to read as somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum when I wrote his arc. The long answer is below the cut!

I didn't intend to code Jason as asexual/aromantic when I was writing Princes, partially because I did think about coding Jason as autistic and wanted to avoid the stereotypical "autistic and asexual" character archetype. I think ace readings of Jason tend to read Jason's autism-coded interactions towards Maya (which I wrote more about here; moments like "don't you think it's weird you've never seen my body?" "well I'm seeing it now, aren't I?") as lack of interest in romance/sex in general. When I was writing it, I intended for Maya's female gender presentation to affect Jason's attitude towards romance and sex when he's dating her, but these interactions are not supposed to be representative of Jason's attitude towards romance and sex in general (similarly with reading 'I Don't Know' as about asexuality or aromanticism; Jason's arc isn't done yet, and what he says he feels in 'I Don't Know' -- which I intended to be "I guess I'm not in love with this objectively attractive female-presenting person" -- is only one piece to the puzzle. "I Don't Know" was in many ways the predecessor of "I Love You, I Swear" -- except in the latter, the character is already fully conscious of his attraction to men.) Jason is not interested in romance/sex with Maya because he is not attracted to women (which, Maya's gender stuff nonwithstanding, is how Jason perceives her) -- but I intended him to read as very much attracted to Louis and wanting to have a romantic relationship with him (and enjoying that romantic relationship, once it begins).

I think another reason my intention for Jason to be explicitly attracted to men doesn't always get across is that Jason's arc, more than anyone else's, was conceived of as a narrative about internalized homophobia, which by necessity requires some sense of homophobia existing -- not always a given in the Princes world. The expectations for straight people in the palace aren't as fleshed out simply because everyone but Jason is already, publicly or privately, part of the queer counterculture. Unlike anyone else in the main 5, Jason is still really trying to be the Perfect Straight Guy, inside and out. He has to overcome his internalized homophobia and reject the privilege of being perceived as straight in order to admit his love for Louis- no small task, and one that sends him into a spiral of despair when he realizes simply performing love for a woman isn't enough for her or for him. I tried to leave hints of this throughout -- his flustered aside about Louis' outfit during Talk About It With You, the musical and lyrical contrast between I Don't Know and If I Knew You Then, his verse during Love and Everything -- but it's not given much screentime simply because he isn't the main character. His struggles with how to reject power that comes with a terrible cost provide a counterpoint to Louis', and therefore didn't need as much nuance as Louis' does.

To get a little personal, I have been thinking about how common this reading is for a while, actually. Without going into too much detail, when I was quite young, my lack of interest in a bad romantic partner lead me to conclude that I was asexual. Subsequently, I dated a series of women, both because I was expected to due to my gender presentation, and because I figured if I was asexual either way, not being attracted to them wouldn't be a problem. I got a bit older and discovered I was in fact attracted to men- those emotions and desires simply hadn't existed earlier because of my age and inexperience. (I want to make explicitly clear that for some people those desires never exist, and that is awesome! And that being allo is in no way "better" than being ace- it just wasn't the right label for me, and that mismatch was causing me distress the same way I imagine it does for ace people trying to be allo.) Finally allowing myself to admit that I was attracted to men as a man was such a relief that I wanted to explore this experience in the figure of a gay man dealing with compulsory heterosexuality in Princes, which was written shortly after I had this realization in the first place.

If I were to psychoanalyze the script, I think this personal experience I had is why some parts of Jason's arc resonate so strongly with the ace community- like me, he goes through a period of believing himself to be something like asexual and aromantic, so reading "I Don't Know" that way isn't totally antithetical to the intentions of the script. On a broader level, however, I think ace people connecting to Jason reflects a wonderful moment of queer solidarity- how it is a common queer experience, regardless of your specific orientation, to come up against where society's romantic and sexual expectations for you differ from what you really want. Having to navigate that struggle is something we'll all be dealing with as long as there is an assumed cisgender, heterosexual, allosexual default, and if my art helps another queer person get the confidence to say "screw you" to those norms and pursue what they want for themself, I'm completely happy.

~Mel

P.S. I used "ace" as a catchall term here for "asexual and aromantic," but I know they're very different! I'd say in my opinion that there's a stronger argument for Jason being asexual (in the text) than aromantic (in the text), since the text deals with Jason's desire for a romantic relationship with Louis more than his physical desire for him. I can see a very fun reading where Jason and Louis are both asexual and in a happy romantic marriage at the end, which would also tie into Louis' discomfort with the pressure to perform sexually for his previous partners. I'm also not trying to say that no reading of Jason as somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum is compatible with the text as written- for example, we never see him try to date men other than Louis, so he isn't explicitly not demisexual. I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't thinking of him that way when I wrote his arc, so ace readings are more of a happy accident.

[an-odd-idea]

On this episode of “I Can Fix Him” : music and a little bit of choreography thoughts for Ilia Malinin

I dunno, he’s just fascinating to me, I’m like annoyed about him sometimes but also very fond of him, and I would like him to earn those PCS

I’m not a choreographer, and I don’t skate, but I watch enough figure skating to enjoy making up imaginary choreography in my head, so this is what I’m doing. Just vibes, basically, so don’t take it very seriously lol

If he wants to continue his streak of skating to music from shows that he’s only technically old enough to watch (well, he’s older now though) I think he should skate to music from House of the Dragon, if he’s seen it. If he hasn’t, then no, but let’s go with it for now

The music is his vibe, but it’s a little bit bigger than what he’s used in the past, to push him a bit but nothing too wildly different. He doesn’t need to do Swan Lake or anything (in fact, Ilia, please do not)

Overall, I’d like to see less crazy arm choreo than the Succession program, more defined, decisive movements, especially in the opening of the program, before and between the first couple of jumps. Sort of like, do you remember Junhwan Cha’s 21/22 short program where he’d do some moves, then stop (not actually come to a stop, but be traveling quickly but not moving his body for a moment)? Kind of that vibe- goes with the music and keeps it interesting without lots of arms all over the place

(Also maybe that would sort of force him to work a lot on his skating skills, which would be nice. Sometimes really good crossovers and nice changes of direction to cool music really are nicer to watch than all the arm-waving someone can muster)

Now here’s where we get crazy, though- make that boy do a spiral. Not a 0.5-second arabesque- a real, honest-to-God spiral and HOLD it. He has long legs, it would look really impressive if he did it well. It can be a Kerrigan spiral if it must, but he HAS to straighten his knee. Maybe Kerrigan spiral actually is best because he has more to do and only really one arm to contend with so he doesn’t feel so awkward holding one position for a while. I’m thinking maybe free arm in front of him and he sort of grabs something in the air, that’s skating choreography basics lol

(This is my thought process: I was listening to “Reign of the Targaryens” and that moment at 0:28 just sounds like the start of a spiral. I would do a spiral there, and I can’t even do a spiral. Also the people love spirals, and it’s extra rare and exciting when a man does a spiral, so he could get some good will from a lot of skating fans who are currently kinda “meh” about him except for the quad Axel)

Thing is, I doubt Ilia would want to do a spiral, and if he doesn’t want to, it will probably not be a very good spiral, so backup plan is a spread eagle, but he needs to HOLD that, too. Whatever it is, it has to be a sustained gliding type move and he has to hold it for a good long time, this is non-negotiable

Moving on from spiral fantasies, thing is, I haven’t seen the show myself, so I’m not sure which pieces of music you’d need to include to focus on a particular aspect of the story or a particular character, so I’m just throwing sort of general stuff at the wall

If- IF- it makes narrative sense, “Rhaenyra’s Welcome” sounds like decent music to start on. It’s interesting, but it still starts out slow, so there’s room to build, and he doesn’t have to use up a ton of energy trying to match it. It’s dramatic and slow-building, so he can take his time setting up his jumps and the music will help sell it anyway because it’s suspenseful but there’s still quite a lot going on underneath. Also these phrases with the long strings and then moments with just drums and something that sounds like maybe a hammer dulcimer in between are just so good for that kind of thing. Like picture, and we can cut music or have something repeat or whatever so he has enough to time to get ready for it but not too much time because he only has four minutes to do everything, quad Axel at 0:20 in the original music, right on the end of that phrase, everybody loses their mind, you know the drill, but the music keeps going slowly but relentlessly on, oh boy! what’s going to happen next?

We’d really need to do some music cutting and pasting magic to get him into maybe quad Lutz at what’s originally 0:29 because if you just play the song that’s not enough time, especially between the hardest jumps anyone’s ever done, so let’s pretend we have the Music Cut Fairy on our side because it’s a perfect moment, and the contrast will be good because the end of this phrase is up while the last one was down, and it has a sharper feel with the drum (Lutz is the sharpest jump, it’s fitting)

Or if that isn’t feasible or if we just like it better, 0:35 is also a really good spot, and the drum right before would be really cool

And so on and so forth. The point is, this kind of music will make things seem really big and cool and kind of gives the skater a little boost in the performance aspect (by sort of tricking your brain into thinking things are cooler than they are, but hey, all program music does that in some way or another- might as well choose music that does it in the way most advantageous to you)

Those are my thoughts, I could figure out some more, but it’s all just vibes and a few sort of snapshot moments anyway, so I’ll leave it there

[foolstemper]

Okay folks. I’m here to promote my silly little shop n stuff again. Go to itscrazyeddie.etsy.com or go to my threadless at foolstemper.threadless.com or go to my linktree at linktr.ee/foolstemper if ya want anything. I’m in a bad way financially so I’m gonna be real annoying about stuff like my shop and commissions for a while. You can also DM me for prints/stickers/pins here - just look through my art tag here on tumblr and let me know what ya want. I’m a bit desperate lol

Long story short: my shop sales took a nose dive when my mental health spiraled and I am very worried about paying rent on this place, and I’d like to have money put aside for the coming months so we don’t end up homeless. So. Shyeah. Bills are absolutely debilitating and I feel like I need to help out - so idk. Even just liking my shop or sharing this or telling your friends? That would help a ton.

[sexydreamgirl]

hello hera, it’s 1:28am and i’m sitting out on the balcony having a cup of cola because i started spiralling a little and just wanted to go outside so i could clear my head. you’re one of the first tumblr loa blogs i came across, so i’d like to just sit down and have a little chat :) i like talking about my deep thoughts on stuff, sadly i don’t know anyone irl who’s into loa so most online blogs are my only like connection to likeminded people i guess. i tend to get embarrassed going on a little blurt about these things so feel free to ignore this if you think it’s boring lol

recently i decided to personally put my foot down and keep it there when it comes to manifesting and it’s sweet because i’ve noticed my thought patterns change when it comes to my confidence which is just so nice but i still sometimes get my fair share of doubts and worries when it comes to manifesting. i wrote down everything i was thinking and hung up about in this moment instead of running to a blog crying and throwing up because “i couldn’t figure it out myself” when really i guess i could…i just needed to write it down in my notes. anyways long story short i found out i am afraid of persisting because i assume things will take forever to manifest and because i want what i want by the time i want it. “ok well…why are you afraid because you write out your reality??” and yes you’re completely right, i do write out my reality, i say when things happen and what happens…no one else. so why do we get scared?? we think we can’t fly yet…wifi and bluetooth exists?? how tf were cameras made like…something that takes a shot at that moment and it’s there for life like that sounds illogical af yet it happened?!? so why can’t i say i’ll get green eyes by monday or i got purple hair yesterday cuz that sure as hell sounds as real as “this box can take a shot of this very moment and will never really fade.” i just find the human mind so insane how it can build itself up and then rip itself down. the brain is a powerful thing, you are the most powerful thing.

anyways i’d like to be an anon ( 🪐) if that’s ok, i won’t send anything as boring as this next lol. my goal is to have the biggest most mouthwatering success story ever with a few “illogical” manifestations and i’d like to share them with you :) plus this would help motivate me.

I know this was just a vent but I really loved the tone that was set for this ask.

I really like that you've come to this conclusion yourself, because you're absolutely correct! We are surrounded by so much that once would've been considered impossible or even illogical and yet here it is in the flesh. All of these innovations serve as testaments to the fact that everything stemmed from imagination, so if somebody was able to conceptualize the idea of bluetooth in their head and materialize it, why wouldn't that be applicable to anything else. Imagination is the root of EVERYTHING! Imagination creates REALITY!

We're happy to have you join the family, my love. Welcome!

[doriians]

No idea what any of this means, but, may I ask if there's a set plot? Or is it more of like a concept that just exists

THANK YOU FOR DARING TO ASK DESPITE KNOWING NOTHING HAHAH i gen appreciate it :]

there’s a plot!!!! and concepts!!!! and a first draft of a first book!!!!! coded started off as a trilogy that has ,, spiralled into a huge universe of standalone books, side-stories, short collections of stories, and prequels/sequels. the main trilogy is what i wanna finish this year though ! (long post ahead)

it started as a retelling of the dream smp l’manburg war actually 😭 but spiralled into a fantasy world because everything i write does that lol — it’s set in a world where the whole universe is made up of code (think like a binary code!) that a certain group of people can delete, alter, or create to change the world in some way. brei (the antagonist) and their sister ilse (the protagonist of trilogy) are the two surviving members of their family, who were essentially the “leaders” of people capable of manipulating the world code !! they protect, guard, and serve as the royal family’s “shadows” — essentially there to give them power that the royal family themselves don’t have.

HOWEVER, there is a growing resentment about how closely guarded the secrets of coding are. a rebel group of coders and non-coders breaks off from the kingdom, declares they’re sharing this knowledge with anyone who joins them. obviously this seems great, but this kind of power is absolutely, and absolute power in the wrong hands corrupts absolutely.

ilse joins the rebels, eager to prove herself and defy her sibling. brei — just called “the shadow” in most of the trilogy — convinces the royal family to fight against the rebels, creating a full scale independence war.

brei has a complicated relationship with coding, and with ryn, who is the head of the rebel camp wonderfall. they know ryn’s intentions are good but also know that she’s delving into “hacking” rather than “coding” — essentially, she’s touching parts of the code that should never be accessed. brei has done the same thing themselves in their youth, and it ended badly. they’re determined to stop ryn spreading the knowledge of hacking to anyone else, but to do that, they have to play the part of the antagonist against their sister and her new rebel friends.

it’s messy, for brei. they love ilse but have such a complicated relationship with her, especially because she hates them for being a typical terrible older sibling. it’s c!diskduo at their most volatile, essentially — but because i’m a huge sucker for character reconciliation, they eventually part ways civilly.

SORRY FOR RAMBLING !! i know most of this is probably incoherent and messy but ill clarify more later. i’m so proud of this series and love it more than i can explain and its evolved so much since i originally began writing. tysm for asking about it you’re my new favourite person ever now

[lynsburner]

Hi Lyn! I was wondering… in your ‘Verse, would you say Andrew wrote any of his songs for/about Lovely (reader)? If so, what are they, and what was her reaction to them?

And would you be willing to write any more Hozier fics in the future? There’s a terrible lack of them everywhere and yours are soooo good!!!

Hello. This answer is about to be super long. My bus home from work got stuck in a ridiculous amount of traffic. Plus, you got me ruminating on this all day at work (Outside the millions of phone calls I was supposed to make. People responding to an email you sent them? Revolutionary concept if you asked me!) and think I’ve decided firmly on, and hear me out on this, “No Plan.” 

That song to me is about not worrying where things are going to go (The sun’s going to go out! Who gives a shit!) and to not sweat the small stuff. And I guess in this context, it’s about being a little worried about something new, like a relationship that has a lot of shit going against it. It’s about enjoying the little things that you do have. The “I think you’re worth at least trying,” or describing this love as “shiny and new, like a toy to be played with, nervously discovering all the nooks and crannies as time goes on.” 

(Yes, I am quoting myself. I am a very self-centric person. I am sorry)

Also now I’m head cannoning that he texted her: Did you know the sun’s going out? After watching that talk and that’s when she hit him with the I like you. A lot. Too much, actually. What better time to confess your feelings for a dear friend than also getting him out of a doom spiral? 

Anyway, one day she just gets texted an audio file with just “🖤” (the black heart emoji, which I’m sure is just one big Carly Rae Jepsen reference) out of the blue. It’s a messy, unpolished demo. 

And when she doesn’t respond immediately since she’s taking it all in, he texts again: 

Just wanted to know your thoughts on this… 

Andrew… 

Yes…? 

What is this? 

A song. Not sure if you’ve heard of them before. The proper definition is: “a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung.” 

I hate you. 

I don’t care what you think about me. I only care what you think about the song. 

I love it.  You? Debatable… 

She calls him after that. They have a “Don’t bother me while I’m working,” on that list of rules, (“I wouldn’t ask you to help me with an Excel formula, would I?”) so it’s sort of rare she hears anything before it’s finished on purpose (not every wall can be reinforced with soundproofing material). It’s a special moment. 

Ok. This was a tangent and then some. Thank you for letting me indulge my fantasies lol 

Also, half of me wanted to answer this with “Sunlight” but only because that’s my favorite. But it also can be read as putting too much into something, especially with the entire 3rd verse comparing the love being had to the Icarus story, it almost sounds like it’s bound to end in tragedy (a lot of his songs do tbh I could write about that for days). 

But, I do love the lyric “know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty” so much. Need me someone like that LMFAO. 

Anyway, as for new stuff? I’m currently 3 chapters deep (of 10! and halfway through the last chapter, ironically) with an idea I’ve had for a while now that I’m really excited about. It’s pretty dialogue heavy and is set around a weekly get-together. I just don’t want to post any chapters until I’m finished because then it would never get done. 

I did almost write a threequel (is that the right word?) to the first two stories, but the dialogue was too similar and they fit better in the chaptered idea. That one was about them revisiting a place they took a trip together as friends and why nothing happened between them that first time around (spoiler: Andrew was too high and too drunk to properly process feelings and his idea for them getting together comes off as more of a joke. The next morning he's got no memory of their argument, so back to square one they were!). They were probably going to get engaged at some point. Good for those crazy kids! I wish them the best!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this way too long of a response, Anon! Have a great night!

[compassionatereminders]

Hi! I’m just wondering how you go (or your bf as he’s autistic like me, or any of your followers) go by day to day not focussing on the future too much? I’m 22, want a long term relationship but am bombarded and overwhelmed by societal expectations of what you should not do in your 20s (ie. Don’t get into a LTR, don’t settle down, travel, enjoy your life, don’t trust men, don’t wait for men etc.) I want to live a little but I’m a planner and have GAD so think more long term than short term. I hate it here lol

Love your blog btw. It’s my safe space on this app :)

Make a habit of consciously returning to the present moment when you catch yourself spiraling. No, you can't fix everything right now, but you can make sure you have a good lunch, or a shower, or that you go for a walk - and prioritizing self care and healthy daily habits will make you better equipped to deal with the bigger problems as they appear. So try to turn your focus towards what you can actually do NOW. And if your thoughts keep spiraling, find a healthy outlet or a fun distraction. It's a lot better to binge watch your favorite show, read a book, write a story or make a drawing than to just sit around being super anxious

[bigdickevans]

i watched smile and wrote down my live reaction if anyone cares lol. long story short it was better than i thought it would be, the death/spooky effects were fun but it was kinda heavy handed with the mental health commentary

i went into this thinking it would be funny bad but. goddammit. ok i liked the opening.

the fucking back and forth shots of the main lady and the college girl’s faces, it set me up!!

then when it showed college girl had gotten up. idk man something about how empty and sterile the office is wigged me out even more.

and her cutting her neck was neato

at the title card now and alright goddamn it didn’t have to flash like that yeesh

oh also it sounds like this is just gonna be it follows but with suicide instead of sex

lord they’re trying to do mental health commentary. great.

ugh if i end up liking this movie i’m gonna be embarrassed

that cat’s dead. and nooo i don’t know that because i checked doesthedogdie.com

i was hoping the cat would smile lmao

WAIT THE BOYFRIEND

WHO IS HE

SLKJFLKSDF IT’S A-TRAIN

i’ve decided this takes place in The Boys universe

sorry i got so distracted by a-train that i forgot to say that main lady seeing the dead girl in the dimly lit kitchen did freak me out.

we’re back to the mental health commentary.

why does the cat have such a big fucking bowl

Young cop(?) dude gives me the creeps.

Haha sassy black coworker!! very funny and cool el oh el

ooooo i liked her passing the rooms and having to backtrack

bro is vibing stop snapping

im so sorry but this carl actor has a really silly voice

i feel like this boss also looks familiar

oh he was in designated survivor ok

actually i’ve been kinda constipated so maybe if i watch this on the toilet i’ll shit myself and finally be free

jesus this lady just can’t stop breaking glasses

none of this would’ve happened if you just KEPT YOUR HOUSE WELL LIT

WAIT STOP EVERYTHING

YOUNG COP CREEP IS THE EMO GUY FROM JENNIFER’S BODY

wow what a cast

i sorta missed the whole bit where she listened to the recording and heard stuff, i was unclogging my toilet

main lady and blonde bitch are sisters?? wow that went straight over my head until now. i knew they had to be related in some way? but i kinda thought the husband and the main lady were siblings

dead cat moment

love that they felt the need to clarify it was her cat lmao

when the boy picked it up it looked like really bad cgi

DAMN

TABLE SLAM KO

yeah babe sometimes you just gotta yell it out

SLKDFJLS THE PAIN ASSESSMENT CHART

im sorry… mental health preachy message aside, are you telling me the fiance had to look up the fact that mental illness can be hereditary??

for some reason i feel like the main character’s spiral happened way too fast

but to be fair i guess she does have that trauma with her mom, so maybe even though she works in healthcare she’d still be more susceptible to this line of thinking?

the number of times they say “crazy” in this movie is getting ridiculous

love a good smashed in head, i appreciate they didn’t add a loud noise with it considering the amount of jumpscares in this fucking thing

thank god horrible events always happen to artists so we can have ooky spooky drawings

these “coincidences” are so obviously connected it’s ludicrous that literally nobody noticed until now

I mean cops being inept is nothing new i guess

main character is being? unbelievably unreasonable here?? yes, calling a mental health professional is what you’re SUPPOSED to do when someone around you starts acting like this

i thought one of the whole points of this smile demon thing was that it could look like anyone? they haven’t really been utilizing that as much as i assumed they would which is a bummer

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

loved that moment with the sister at the car

it is kinda neat that the death has to be super dramatic so it inflicts as much trauma as possible

but also couldn’t you just do something traumatic that doesn’t involve murder or suicide?

like pretend you murdered someone or killed yourself in a crazy violent way in front of someone so they believe it happened, orchestrate a big practical joke

the demon voice is goofy

putting a knife that big up your sleeve seems like an atrocious idea

LMAO AWESOME DREAM

it’s like in chainsaw man. the whole door thing with denji. i’m not elaborating bc i don’t wanna spoil anyone.

the mom is kinda hot

lol i like how slowly rose closed the door

ooooooo!!!! suddenly tall mom!!!

i’m a tad disappointed with the monster design :/

HELL YEAH you thought a house fire could kill a demon?? lmaoooo

I TAKE IT BACK THE MONSTER DESIGN LOOKS RAD

rose the throat goat

hell yeah love a good person burning

[here2bbtstrash]

first off WHAT THE FUCK WAS THA LAST CHAPTEEEEER OMG i didn’t know it was going to be so sad bro🧍🏼‍♀️

second: i’m honestly soooo impressed how u get so much done in just a month lol i would take at least a year to just write 1k words lol

not only is the story fucking fantastic and written so well but u give us like 10k with each chapter ur something else so kisses to u🤭🤭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

SORRY FOR THE SADNESS LMAO i had this chapter planned to be the downward spiral/emotional bottom since the beginning, but even when i was writing it i was like...... damn this shit is REALLY sad 🤧 i promise there is a happy ending ahead!! 💜

and omg 🙈 this is so kind of you to say, i forever feel like i'm not productive enough and i think it's just me being too hard on myself. like my AO3 word count for the year is over 200k, and that's not including ANY of my drabbles.... and i only started writing in april... 😵‍💫 perhaps i should take a moment to be proud of myself lmao

THANK U THANK U i think i have forgotten how to write short chapters/fics so GLAD TO HEAR YOU LIKE THEM LONG 🤣 this really is so sweet tho, thank you so much for reading and sending such a lovely message 🥺💜

[airlockfailure]

I have been asked by @introverthill to answer questions from this list. I’m going to do one or two a day until I complete the list :D

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

Not nearly enough people read my fics for that to happen. Not to mention I try really hard to tag things thoroughly, and am always open to being asked to tag something. Sometimes I'm overcautious.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

I prefer a rainy or snowy day and to curl up cozy on the couch with my laptop and coffee. As it is right now, I don't have a comfortable couch. So I alternate between perching uncomfortably on the seat I do have, and sitting at the dining table (which is very uncomfortable because I'm short and it's tall). My back and hip issues make sitting anywhere for very long VERY VERY painful, so sometimes I'm forced to write standing next to the kitchen sink. Then when my feet issues cause too much pain I'll sit down again. LOL. WHATEVER IT TAKES MAN.

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

I enjoy my writing. I wouldn't say I take pride in it. It does make me feel good when people say something I wrote touched them, or helped them, or made them think of something in a new way.

It embarrasses me less and less. When I was 12 I used to write scripts in a spiral bound notebook about eagles who turned into swords (yes). I let my aunt read that. So. I've always been pretty open to sharing my weirdest thoughts. It was only when my mother got -really- into Christianity that I started hiding my creativity.

I was coming out of my shell again (with her specifically) in the months leading up to her death, which is something that still upsets me. We were beginning to repair a lot of damage. And there's no closure. I will have to accept that she wanted to repair the hurt she caused, because I love my mother very much, and being angry with the past does that love a disservice.

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

Okay, I will always think I'm a terrible writer. No matter how many people say they love my writing. Doesn't matter. You love my writing. Thank you. I love you for loving it, but I will always think I'm terrible. One of the worst things I think I do is if I read someone else's writing, I pick up their style. Ugh. Their style, their habits, their phrasing dkghdkhgdkgdkg.

I don't read a lot of fanfiction because of this (and I actively avoid Fox centered fanfic). slhgkddkgdhl My favorite boy and I don't even read stories about him!!! ;-; I'm sorry. I'm a sponge. Everything someone writes down about him I absorb it and it warps my brain in ways I don't wanna be warped!!! It's my most frustrating flaw! I want to flail and scream and rant about Fox with other people, but I will then consume your Fox and piece him together with mine and I DO NOT WANT THAT.

(If I came across a little unhinged there, I apologize.) This phenomenon happens at work too where I start mimicking people who's behavior I either admire or am trying to understand. Blehashhsg. It's frustrating and embarrassing. (If you mimic people and it's not a trait that bothers you, please don't think I'm bashing you. It's just something I don't like about myself because people think I'm mocking them, and I'm not, and I feel bad.)

Yeah, I don't compare myself to other writers. I read very few fanfic authors.

But according to this I write like Bram Stoker and Cory Doctrow but I'm unsure what, exactly, it's calculating. e-e