#i’m sorry i cannot call them anything else i hate them <3

[littleoceanbabe]

everyone turning up to guillermo’s hiding spot was actually so heartwarming i felt like i was intruding on the moment. they all love him in their own little freakish ways. they’re all friends!! they’re all family!!! they love each other bitches!!!!!!

[zeichannnnn]

⚠️ In regards to the natlan controversy (and Sumeru by proxy)

Do NOT accuse people of being racist just because your skin colour cannot be found in a game. Learn to know that people don't live in the same situation as you.

Please read this fully for the reality of things I'm sorry for getting political, skip if you don't want to interact

I’m kinda sad at the fact that a lot of people are quick to hate, judge, and scrutinise Hoyo without understanding the situation.

With recent teaser of Natlan characters, people are rightfully upset at the fact that the characters shown to hail from Natlan… don’t exactly look the part. With characters lighter than my own skin tone (I’m a Chinese Southeast Asian by the way, heya) people are calling hoyo bullshit and accusing them of being a racist for failing time and time again at giving us characters with POC shades of skin. Now I’m not here to defend Mihoyo for their actions, or to tell you to stop being mad at the situation being the way they are. No, I’m here to shed you some light of how life is as a game company under the rule of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and Xin Jin Ping (XJP cause I won’t be bothered to type his whole ass name)

I've highlighted points of each section

Any pages that requires translations, I recommend using DeepL instead of google translate because you can check the meanings of specific words and it's translation are better (imo)

Skip to the last part if you just want a summarised version

Before we get into the nitty gritty that is Genshin drama, I'll give you a run-down on what and how China works.

check the part "In relation to Genshin's design choices and how China's beauty standard influences it" if you want to go straight on to the point

People’s Republic of China

is a Unitary Marxist–Leninist one-party socialist republic. This means that China is under a one-party (Chinese Communist Party) rule with communism ideology on how they rule and govern the country and socialist standards for how they manage their economy and everything else. [.]

The CCP holds a very nationalistic view

[.] which is commonly used as propaganda [.] for them to garner either sympathy or control over the people of China. These nationalistic view, in its raw and most rudest form, simply states that Chinese people are pure by upholding traditional Chinese culture (that's not even traditionally Chinese, more or less more catered towards communism and the CCP's ideologies which are that they're great and everyone else is wrong) and not mixing themselves or tainting themselves with things that are not pure (i.e. anything that isn't Chinese, from China, belongs to China) This nationalistic views, which glorifies China and detests anything foreign (i.e. culture, language, people, etc.) have led to a lot of xenophobia being built and nurtured inside of China's society [1] [2] [3]

Aside from the CCP's nationalistic views,

China's society is very censored and monitored by the CCP

[.] Google, YouTube, or more specifically, the internet itself is heavily banned by the government, electing the people to use the CCP's private internet that allows them to be monitored 24/7 through IP location and private information. [1] [2] [3] [4] Aside from heavily monitored and controlled internet access, people in the real world are also actively being watched and monitored through CCTV with facial recognition features and an AI that can predict people's action (yes, exactly like the akasha, and yes, Sumeru arc is based on reality, I won't talk about it here but feel free to read between the lines and compare it with the sources and news articles I'm about to drop on you) [1] [2. Behind paywall] [3] [4] [5]

With its censorship in mind, let us talk about what brings us all here:

the gaming censorship in China.

In order for a game to be published in China, whether it's made by an indie or a multi-billion dollar company, the game has to go through a complicated preliminary test made and assigned by the CCP to play, test, and go through your game before publishing it anywhere in Chinese media [.] This test includes you company's paperwork, your game's paperwork, the things you're displaying in your game, and the story it's trying to tell. There are not that many rules on what should and should not appear inside of your game, such as: polyamory, the undead (in both graphic and non-graphic manner), etc. That should be considered tame and should cause no problem, however, we do have a problem with one of the rule given which is: Emphasizing Cultural Sensitivity.

Emphasizing Cultural Sensitivity

in the article I've mentioned before, describes it as "Games should impart “correct” information on politics, law, and history, as interpreted by the authorizing agency." Now what does "correct" information entail? Who fucking knows because truth is relative. Facts, when in the eyes of the CCP, are relative to what they believe is to be right and what they want us to believe is right.

Now with that out of the way, let us get into the main deal.

MiHoYo

(not to be confused with Hoyoverse/Cognosphere which is their international branch) is a is a Chinese video game development and publishing company, founded by three classmates from university Cai Haoyu, Liu Wei, and Luo Yuhao [.] That means that Genshin Impact's development, ever since it was at its infancy, first-established days, and updates until the near future, are all subjected onto that game censorship law that I mentioned earlier. Now you might all be wondering, what does all of those rules have to do with genshin characters having dark skins? To that I point you towards the fact that MiHoYo and the CCP are and have been actively working together ever since around September 2021. [1] [2]

Cooperation between MiHoYo and the CCP

Ever since Genshin Impact's massive hit both nationally and internationally, its massive fanbase has hit the internet no one has ever seen before. It is the first ever Chinese game that has gotten world wide acclaim and with that, new eyes begin to look upon China. It is no surprise to anyone that Genshin is very particular about showing and promoting Chinese culture to the outside world. Genshin has somehow become the face to Chinese culture in just a year, with limited events such as Lantern Rite and Moonchase festival to showcase China's cultural beauty. With world-wide acclaim comes a price, wherein the CCP no longer treats Genshin as "another game" but a tool that they can use to promote and advertise themselves into the global population.

Begin the censorship and micro-manipulation of things in Genshin

New gaming censorship dropped after the Genshin Impact became a hit in the industry, with even Venti and Gorou as examples of characters that should not appear in media published in China (effeminate man) [.] In additional to the list I've linked in the "the gaming censorship in China" section, a lot more additional rules have been added to that list, such as: queer representation, morally grey character, but I what I want you to look at more is the section where "historical elements, including characters, maps and clothing, should conform with mainstream accounts." in addition to that, a self-regulation pact was made between game companies and the CCP that bans any and all content that is deemed "politically harmful" and "historically nihilistic." Now focus more onto that "historically nihilistic" point, what does that mean?

Historical nihilism

is a term used by the CCP and many Chinese scholars to describe research or discussions deemed to contradict an official state version of history in a manner perceived to question or challenge the legitimacy of the CCP [.] TLDR; it's a term used for when what you're saying clashes or goes against what the CCP said. Why is this important you may ask? It's because that now, at this point, if anything Genshin does something—whether that'd be plotline, design etc.—that the CCP thinks shouldn't exist or be represented, they have the lawful right to block or stop it from reaching the final product. Now this, this is what happened to Genshin's Sumeru and Natlan cast.

In relation to Genshin's design choices and how China's beauty standard influences it

white has always been a predominant part of modern Chinese beauty culture, for some reason (I don't know and I'm not going to go that deep into it, research it on your own if you're curious) In fact, it's not only China but also Asian culture in general. White skin has always been hailed as pure and beautiful here in Asia, where the line "as pale as the moon" is a common compliment to give to someone. Skin colour that are tan or even darker are connected to being dirty or stinky. Despite the younger generation not really adhering to that view, the older generation (calling out the CCP here) upholds that standard till this day. Pin straight hair, round eyes, pale white skin, and a thin figure are the standards put upon those born as female. Their male counterpart are not that different, with lean and fit being the preferred body type rather than big muscles or bulky forms.

The reason behind why this is the case is because of Asia's strict social code in rules and appearances. We must appear prim and clean, that means no dyed hair, no tattoos, no piercings, and minimal make-up. Anyone that goes against those rules are regarded as delinquents or deviants that usually break the rules and do criminal activities (despite it not being the case) Having a bulky stature also applies to that list, regardless of what gender you are, and especially for men. You're regarded as dangerous, criminal, bad influence if you look like that in public (this is why we don't have that much bulky characters gang and why we were robbed of heavy muscles Itto orz) (he deffo was very bulky in the original design, probably similar to the Nobushi but it got nerfed in final product)

Given all of that in mind, it's no wonder that Sumeru's and and Natlan's casts are mostly white... but were they always that way?

The original skin colour design for Natlan cast might've been darker than what we have in the final product.

As a lot of people have mentioned (especially with the many beautiful edits I'm very fond of) the character designs for Natlan's new up-coming rosters looks better with darker skin tone. Take for examples this edit right here:

taken from @ rarepairz on twitter [source]

Their designs (with darker skin tones) seem to pop more, giving highlights onto their clothes and accessories in comparison to the original design. Here are more examples of this happening:

taken from @ Wabs_nabs on twitter [source]

It is especially clear to anyone with basic colour theory that the colour used for designing the clothes and accessories and highlights in the hair look better with darker skin colour. There is *intent* on making it this way in comparison to woeful ignorance of making them look white as hell. If they were to intentionally to make the characters look white, they would've chosen a better colour for the clothes, less bolder ones and eye-popping ones to contrast with the already luminescent light that's emitting from the skin.

And this is not the case for only Natlan, by the way! The same thing happened when the Sumeru cast was first leaked. Case in point this:

taken from @ animuswonder on twitter [source]

and my personal art of Cyno and Nari:

Look at how much contrast there is between their colour palette or how much resonance there is, with Cyno his more cold-colour attire and hair, in comparison to his deep dark warm skin or Tighnari that's the epitome of a "spring girl" like come on man. There's INTENT in those designs, to have more darker shades than they are in the game. Sadly, they just can't do it due to censorships. Why? Because, as I have mentioned before, darker shades of skin are represented as dirt here in Asia as we glorify pale skin more.

The representation of uniqueness and differences in Chinese game is not common due the fact that most Asian countries are homogenous, which means they prefer everyone and everything to be the same, to look the same, and follow and do the same things. They do not advocate for uniqueness, they do not advocate for individuality, they advocate for us to conform and to follow like a sheep in a herd. Because of that, most people spend their whole life trying to whiten up their skin, keeping them light, and those who are darker than most are shown prejudiced and scrutinised.

Mentioning again the fact that MiHoYo and the CCP are working closely together, Genshin Impact is currently being used as a cultural weapon by the government. With MiHoYo showing numerous time that they've donate and support Chinese cultural heritage, the CCP is using that fact and holding control over Genshin as a way to promote and advertise sympathy towards Chinese culture and the Communist regime by proxy. It's like how your parents are getting you to eat broccoli brownies in hopes that you'd eat normal broccolis and other vegetables by proxy. Everything and anything that Genshin shows in its game are now under close inspections of the CCP and colourism especially will not fly-by their radar.

In conclusion

Your anger and hatred towards the new characters’ designs are justified, however the person you aim those anger and hatred should not be towards Mihoyo, or Liu Wei, or any of the staff members but towards the situation and the laws and the local government MiHoYo has to adhere to.

We're already lucky to have MiHoYo even wanting to represent and shpw different cultures from different parts of the world, telling us engaging stories, and incentivising us to think more and to be be more of us instead of following the crowd and to judge those in power (if you are literate and have the ability of a 6th grader, you know the theme Genshin Impact is showing in its story). In a world where they aren't able to live as freely as people outside of mainland do, they shouldn't have to put their life at risk by creating a game that goes against the CCP's laws that will lead to a deduction to their social points (yes, those actually exist, WAKE UP). Yet they do, they update every month, telling stories, creating characters with many characteristics that goes against Chinese gaming laws, just for us to enjoy.

Do NOT accuse people of being racist just because your skin colour cannot be found in a game. Learn to know that people don't live in the same situation as you.

You are right to be mad, you are right to be upset, but do not condemn them for something they hold no power to. It's between their lives and your fantasies and if you choose to value your delusion over their livelihood then that just shows what kind of a person you are.

Where's this conviction towards other game companies aside from MiHoYo? Where's the rightful air when it comes to companies that breathe much fresher air? Do they not have the same responsibility? Or is it because you actually do not care and merely want to point your unbridled emotions towards something or someone? If so, you're pointing at the wrong person.

[bloodyselfshipping]

(Hetalia Main 8 x Reader) How they talk about you!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~

Most people around Alfred would probably not realize you two are romantically involved. The way he talks about you is less like a partner and more like a best friend.

But that said, everyone would know who you are. It’s immediately obvious how close your relationship is. He seems to know everything about you.

He won’t bring you up constantly, but your presence is around him in some way.

“Who are you texting during the meeting?!” “Oh, Y/N! Right now they’re-”

“Who are you inviting?” “Y/N! I really think they’d have fun coming along-”

“Are you free tonight?” “Mm, sorry dude. I’m with Y/N tonight, just like last night, and the night before we-”

But if anyone asks, he loves talking about you. You make everything more fun, so even thinking about you makes him feel so much better!

He doesn’t bring you up much, but when he does it’s so obvious how much he loves you. Always looking in the distance longingly…

Doesn’t share a lot of personal details, probably doesn’t even mention your name. He always calls you nicknames or just “my lover.”

Arthur prefers to keep you his little secret.

“Ah, I have to go. I have an engagement with… someone special.”

So it's usually very stilted and formal, but not because of a lack of affection. He thinks that PDA and gushing about romance in public is tactless, so he refrains.

You’re like royalty to him so he always makes sure to make his respect more apparent than anything. No one is more special to him than you <3

The second most normal out of any of them. Although he always refers to you very romantically, that isn’t very out of line for how he normally is.

It seems as if he sees you as perfect, above others in every way. He always praises you and everything you do, to an absolutely absurd degree.

Always has very specific things he calls you in front of others.

“Ah, this reminds me of my S/O. They are like poetry in motion…”

“Every day I am inspired by Y/N, even the most impressive works of art are nothing compared to them.”

“My eternal love, they are calling to me… I must go!”  “Just say you wanna get outta here!”

He can’t help but gush about how perfect you are. He would say you are nothing less than soulmates.

Yao is a very traditional man. From the start of your relationship, he’s always referred to you as if you were married.

Sometimes he’ll refer to you like those old men who hate their wives, but only because he doesn’t realize the full implications.

“”Aiyaa! Have to go tend to the ball and chain, see you later!”

Except when he says that, he means it affectionately. By “tending to the old ball and chain” he means laying his head in your lap for two hours and telling you about how stupid his friends are.

He’d love nothing more than to just talk to you and you alone, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of you two.

Ivan CANNOT stop talking about you! Seriously, everyone is very annoyed by it. But he just can’t hold himself back, he needs everyone to know about how much he loves you.

Anytime anyone brings up something that reminds him of you, he has to go on a whole tangent. God forbid someone brings up an interest of yours, then it goes on forever.

They probably won’t even know your name because he just always uses some adorable pet name for you (:

When he misses you, it’s even worse. Anything just immediately results in,

“My darling used to call me that…” “Because it’s your name!”

If he could, he would bring you everywhere with him. So, he’ll do so in his own way (: (telling everyone who breathes in his direction about you)

Everyone is immediately aware of your existence. He LOVES bringing you up at every opportunity. All his friends need to know about his lovely S/O right now!!!

Definitely tries to show you off.

“You know whose really attractive? My S/O! Look, see!!!”

“I just thought of something funny, one time Y/N did that! But like, they were super hot!”

“Cuore mio, everyone should see how wonderful you are. Don’t be embarrassed!”

When he gets drunk, he can’t help but talk anyone’s ear off about you. About how much you mean to him, about how proud he is of you, a lot of other stuff that seems way too sentimental for an easy-going guy like him.

Often ends up bursting into rooms just to bring news of you. He gets so emotional it can become unbearable for those around him.

He can’t imagine his life without you, and everything is just a reminder of that fact. Feliciano loves you more than anything!

Ludwig wouldn’t not talk about you… but he wouldn’t go out of his way to do so. Not because he’s embarrassed of you, but because he’s embarrassed of how much he’s in love with you!

You make him so soft… and the thoughts of you are constantly distracting him! His darling (you) lives in his head rent-free, damn you!

“Oi Germany, is that a person on your lock-screen?” “N-No! Well… it’s my S/O… don’t make it into a situation!”

He thinks very highly of you, and trusts your judgment completely. Talking to you helps him think out his problems. That fact is so obvious that a lot of times, his friends will call you up for him when he’s panicking.

Not a fan of pet names, and can seem cold about your relationship in public. But don’t let that fool you, he doesn’t want to go a day without you!

Very casual about you. You’re his partner, you matter a lot to him, and he’s not embarrassed about it. 

But he does use his experiences with you to help him relate to others, so you get brought up quite a lot with his friends. When he’s having trouble socially, he tries to remember everything you’ve ever told him and repeat it.

“My S/O had something similar happen to them. May I consult them on this?”

“This reminds me of something that Y/N said to me last week. Shouldn’t we just put the past behind us? They said it’s no good to dwell on these things.”

“Hm… maybe we should just go home and rest before making a decision. Besides, I want to talk to Y/N about this.” “Are you sure you don’t just miss them?” “That is a possibility.”

He acts as if you two are married, but just because you have become so important to him so quickly. You make his life so much better and easier, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[crestfallercanyon]

Weekly Tag Wednesday Thursday

Thanks for the game @michellemisfit ! I believe I have missed like the last three, my apologies lol. Thanks for still looping me into the fun <3 

name: crest

age: late 20s

location:  next to my cat who is sleeping like he hasn’t been a complete menace all damn morning. 

top sheet, yes or no? (I'm assuming by top sheet it means the sheet over the ones that wrap your bed that separates your body from your comforter/duvet, which maybe not everyone uses) and yes, especially in this heat, sometimes that is the only thing I have on me because it’s too warm (but I hate not having something heavier on me)

how many stuffed animals do you own? I have two that I can think of off the top of my head. Used to have several. 

the names of your pets (and the explanations behind them): I only have one cat! And I'm sorry, as I am a paranoid individual (though there are people on discord who know his name, and I know there's other pets with this name, and I give out other information I know) but I'm not going to put it here. I will say I named him what I named him because he's all angles, he's very small for a cat, and loves jumping on me.

favourite color: I gravitate toward the color green a lot. I just adore it in all shades. 

any tattoos? Yes! 

how you transport your belongings (purse, tote, hands, pockets, etc.): If it’s just like me out and about? My pockets usually, I don’t like having anything hanging off of me like a bag if I can help me because it’s distracting to walk very far with shit flipping around. If it's for work/going somewhere with stuff that cannot fit in pockets, then I have a corduroy satchel with a bunch of buttons on it.

the last movie you watched: Shrek! I was feeling nostalgic.

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? If I take a shower? Around an hour (I have curly hair, it’s kind of a bitch to make look nice because I’m bad at that kind of thing, that and winding down my cat who wants to play so badly it’s like he was fueled with jet fuel). If I don’t take a shower and let the cat figure out his own playtime? 20 minutes, usually with a breakfast on the go situation (and leaving my cat to mourn that I did not play with him). 

favourite weather: I love a good thunderstorm when I'm able to hang out at home and watch. Or a good snowstorm. For general getting around though, low 70s or low 80s with a breeze.

relationship status: single

ice cream flavor of choice: mint chocolate chip or something peanut buttery. Which I know are two chaotic differences, but it’s just my style. 

first fandom: Fandom where I’d be aware of what a fandom was? Probably Dr. Who? (I swear I answer this question differently every time I’m asked lol). 

how many books have you read this year? Think I’m at seven? I don’t read nearly as much as I used to but I’m starting to pick it up again. 

first 4 words of your last notes app entry:  “Right out the elevator”, believe that was instructions to myself on how to navigate some building I’ve long forgotten why I was confused about. 

and finally, if you had to change your URL tomorrow, what would you change it to? If I had to? Probably something equally sort of pretentious as crestfaller, something like coppermarsh or cruisinghearse (which damn I actually love that one lmao) but I came up with crestfaller by looking into a mountain range’s peaks and valleys, finding a name that sounded interesting, and grabbing the synonyms and mixing them together until I liked it. I have adopted the name crest on all things though now, I don’t know what I’d have people call me if I changed my name now. 

And finally... tags! (I imagine since we're into Thursday most people have already been tagged and I also don't want to spam people, but here's what I've got -- hope y'all enjoy!)

@mmmichyyy @jrooc @gallawitchxx @gardenerian, @babygirlmickey, and anyone else who would like to join!

[nobodysdaydreams]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 21, and 25 for Curtain/Nathanial Benedict, SQ and Jeffers on the Character Ask Game! You can pick whichever character applies the most to a question. :)

Hope you’re having a lovely day! 💕

Hey Nova! Sorry this took so long! I’m having a lovely day and I hope you are too!

Curtain/Nathaniel Benedict

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I dislike him for all the obvious reasons. Horrible brother, father, uncle, friend, boss and person, trapped in his own mind, refuses therapy, makes his issues everyone else’s problem, is a perpetual martyr and victim, constantly hypocritical, and insufferably smug about it all. What do I like about him? Specifically for the show version, I loved the glimpses of his humanity. Nathaniel doing art projects with SQ, connecting with Sticky in the Whisperer when he says he fears not being wanting, and joking with Nicholas in the compound. Even just his little quirks, his silly dancing and theater kid vibes, his love of oddly specific foods, the flashbacks of little Nathaniel making that hair gel to impress new parents. You hate him so much but you really feel Nicholas and SQ’s frustrations and understand how they can hold out so much hope for him because you see the potential.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

That they gave him a history with Nicholas, made him SQ’s dad, and gave him a uh, a “friend” in Garrison. Intriguing storylines and they should have done more with them.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

I’d say the way he treats others but he’s the villain. He’s written that way, it’s expected that he wouldn’t be nice, but when he apologizes to Nicholas and turns good we don’t get ONE MENTION OF SQ??? If you’re gonna be a good guy now, you might want to start by caring about your missing child.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Wolf359. I cannot tell you how many times I write “Curtain” and “Cutter” at the wrong times on accident. Nathaniel would absolutely have an evil space company. @sophieswundergarten and I had an AU for this if anyone is interested I can post about it sometime.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Antihero by Taylor Swift for sure. The song summarizes Nathaniel perfectly, and if you don’t believe me, I hope this edit changes your mind. I think it might be one of my favorite edits I've ever made, though my star wars one is close, it's a tough call.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We’re both theater kids who also do STEM stuff. Idk what that says about me.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

My favorite thing to do for any character is explore themes of guilt, redemption, forgiveness, and healing. I love it, and Nathaniel is the perfect character for it. I don’t like stories that say either A) he can’t be redeemed no matter how sorry he is or B) no boundaries, consequences, or struggle necessary. He apologized; he gets a free pass! (Disclaimer: write what you want, don’t let me stop you, but I like to show the journey. Especially in a way that’s realistic and shows the complications that do come with these kinds of big life/perspective changes).

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

At first, I wasn’t sure about him in the show. He was clearly aged down, and his character was different. Then they dropped the whole thing about the twins knowing each other growing up in the orphanage and Nathaniel being SQ’s adoptive father and I was like “oohhh… I see what they’re doing. I’m 100% on board. This is interesting.” If only they'd seen it through.

Shepard Quaid (SQ)

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

What’s not to like? Books or show, he’s sweet, precious, good, the best boy, and believes in everyone. For the show specifically I love that they made him more assertive to show the parent and child relationship he has with Curtain. He questions his dad, lies to his face, and I love that he does that! I wanted more of that! (And his art and love of animals). Incredible character. The only dislikes are that he didn’t get more screen time and the way other characters treat him. He deserves better. He deserves his father on his knees groveling with an apology (and explanation about what happened to his birth parents to because I’m sorry his dad just “worked with Curtain and got sick???” And what happened to the mom? I’d assume he had one???)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Rat by Penelope Scott. The people have spoken.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We're both neurodivergent (that's more of a headcanon, but I don't think anyone is gonna fight me on this).

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I love writing about him discovering who his family really is and finding his place in the world on his own terms because that’s his whole arc. However, I don’t like the fact I have to write him in pain so often. The poor boy deserves a break but sadly I must hurt him for the plot.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

10/10 books AND show first impression for obvious reasons. As for now, the show version is sadly a ?/10 because WHERE IS HE? But in all seriousness, I love the character, and SQ has consistently been my #1.

Jeffers

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

His silly speech about the perimeter. It's so unserious and unnecessary but 100% iconic.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

I don't know if there's anything I really hate about him. I know some people were upset he wasn't as threatening as the ten men, but that's just not his character, you know? He's comedic relief, and I think he did a nice job with that, especially in season 2.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Father Brown. He looks exactly like Inspector Mallory with the mustache, and he'd be just as incompetent, if not more.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We both like to dramatically monologue. I don't know what that says about me.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I like writing his silly little comedic relief disasters. Something I don't like is that there actually aren't a lot of fics with his character tag on AO3. So I'm glad I could give the fandom some Jeepers shenanigans nobody asked for.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

In season 1, I thought his character was kind of unnecessary and honestly, couldn't even remember his name. In season 2 when he got more screentime he was really funny and had great comedic timing.

[rebornologist]

Hi!! How are you? So excited to catch you with your requests open because i LOVED that one you did with the arcos in college, and all around all your khr requests are literally soo good, thank you for your time and hard work! I'd love some hcs for the arcos as tsuna's guardians? Or anything else you're the most comfortable doing with this request ☺️🥰

Hello! I’m doing quite okay, just catching my breath after the long academic year. It’s nice to finally have a bit of a break. This is a really interesting request, thank you for submitting it! It’s def some food for thought hehe :)

༚✧⁺˳₊˚‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · ˳ · ♡ · ˳ · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊˳⁺✧༚

♡ Arcobaleno* as Tsuna's Guardians ₊⁎⁺˳✧༚ *sorry no Yuni/Aria/Luce :( </3 In this case I'm thinking that the Arcos would have been in the places that the actual Vongola 10th gen guardians were, if that makes sense..

Fon

I think Fon as a guardian would go absolute sicko mode much more often than he does in the actual series (never. he never does); I really like the idea of Fon being absolutely pissed beyond comprehension and wreaking endless havoc, something that he really really hates and is deeply ashamed of; I'm talkin punching down entire walls and collapsing buildings that he should not be able to tear down

But Tsuna has his back, and he knows that Fon's worst and most destructive side is not his entire character... the guy is still as chill as ever the other 99.99% of the time, but he holds himself to an impossible standard

Underneath all that peace, rattling beneath the floorboards of his very being, is uncertainty... the quiet storm brewing in him, even after all his years of martial training and mindfulness

He adopts a new sense of peace with himself through his relationship with Tsuna and the others, the type of peace that was more intuitive, less methodical and trained, if that makes sense.. I'd imagine his heritage has him a lot more wound up deep inside than he shows, since he's so outrageously zen (this might be reaching, ik lol)

But he is such a wonderful storm guardian, right in the middle ground between Bel and Gokudera in some way; He has a mix of strategy and intuition amidst combat (Belphegor) and adaptability (Gokudera); I imagine that his strikes never miss and he is nothing less than a one man army when it comes down to it

If you had put him in the ring conflict in Hayato's shoes, he would have definitely sensed the wire placement much sooner due to his familiarity with his own body, clothes and gear and all; however, he very much seems to be the guy to bring a stick to a knife fight... he bears very many scars from the ring conflict battle and he actually is a bit fond of them because it means that he made it out with his life and his friends :'(

Reborn

Naturally he would be the right hand man, arguably one that calls the shots more often than Tsuna lmao; I can only imagine him chewing out some of the guardians (cough Skull and Mammon) for shirking their duties because Tsuna let them off the hook

He's a very capable right hand man at that! Giving Gokudera a run for his money, but I think similarly he was very cold and aloof to begin with, only opening up to Tsuna when he offered some home made treats to him (similar to what happened with Luche), and now he's like Tsuna's lap cat/scary dog privilege lol

He is not without his prankster and jokey side, but it takes forever for him to feel comfortable enough to stop taking everything so seriously. Tsuna's friendship really drew it out of him! He cannot help the small smiles that grace his features and chuckles escaping his lips whenever silly things happen with the gang :') Eventually, he becomes one of the main perpetrators of trouble, but you never see him own up to it because he's got such a stoic facade

He absolutely throws quiet tantrums over not having his morning coffees...

Also I absolutely cannot say anything about the way the sun ring conflict turned out, because Reborn is well versed in martial arts, but ?? Against Lussuria? Would they still have a similar showdown? I do not think so x.x so I will simply not reach that far in this AU

Verde

He’s the most aloof guardian, usually just stepping in since it’s an opportune time to test out his newfangled weaponry; He’s here because he’s pretty dead set on using the Vongola as means to create some ultimate world-ending machine

But Tsuna keeps him in check somehow, granting him a perspective on life and power and what to make of it, it softens Verde just a bit, but I can’t help but see him as the daemon spade equivalent in this scenario, just a little bit of a loose cannon, not really working for Tsuna… but he still feels following the don is the right way to achieve his end goal

Oh you already know he's killin it in the ring conflict, showing up fully loaded with the strangest contraptions and an eerie thirst for blood

Colonello

He initially wasn’t supposed to be a part of this but he just kept showing up and had to eventually bear the rain position when Lal was out of commission, and I think that he brings some pretty different dynamics when he’s alone vs with Lal

Colonello is kind of like a heavy rain, a constant rain storm, more similar to (aha) a stereotypical storm type guardian than a rain

But it works in their favour! Peep my thoughts with Lal hehe

He would have somehow gained his guardian role after the ring conflict, methinks; possibly in the next arc for insert plot point reasons

He's a follower of Tsuna because he finds his resolve very impressive, and his willingness to put himself through the wringer for the sake of improving himself and protecting his loved ones

Colonello finds that reflection of himself with Tsuna, and despite how frequently he chews his boss out with their training, it's a way of motivating himself as well and he always goes the extra mile to prep recovery meals for everyone after training, despite his reluctance to admit that he cares for his family members

Lal Mirch

I think in this case, instead of having two mist guardians, Tsuna would have two rain guardians! It would not have happened in the same way as Chrome and Mukuro, but Tsuna just couldn’t say no to either of them and the two of them just work so much better together and greatly enrich the team as a whole, so there’s no reason to have to pick

Anyway, I see Lal as more of the flash flood type of rain guardian, wherein you don’t realize the rain is going to get super heavy out of nowhere, and by the time you start running for cover, it’s too late; that way, the two of them cover different bases and ultimately Lal is able to gain more control of combat due to Colonello’s more in-your-face, flashy fighting style; they greatly complement each other ! :)

Lal and Squalo would have been the fight of the century tbh, I don't know how she fought back then but I would bet that both of them are skilled in martial combat and pack firepower

Lal is kind of there because she feels like it's her job, but admittedly is a super softie for the rest of them, especially Colonello; Down time with the group is the only time she gets to relax and you won't see her sharing her feelings verbally, but she strangely is always freeing her schedule just enough to spend quality time with her loved ones, even with the resting pissed face gracing her beautiful features

Esper Mammon

They’re in this for the money, and they only like Tsuna because of how rich and powerful his family is lolol

Initially they say that they’ll never work for free, but they most likely will get their life saved by Tsuna a few times, and they hate the feeling of being indebted to this guy; Mammon attempts over and over again to just throw a wad of cash at Tsuna to feel like they’re no longer on the hook for their life debt (they never were!! Tsuna is not that kind of guy), and Tsunayoshi just keeps rejecting it over and over, insisting that he did it purely because it’s the right thing and there’s literally no reason to feel indebted…

Ding ding ding, Mammon’s grown attached and is now loyal to Tsuna for more than just money reasons; Life is short, that’s why they collect money and surround themselves with people they adore

Mammon would have totally used their illusions to skip school and make some extra cash on the side lolol and Tsuna ends up having to cover for their ass when the teachers get suspicious; Reborn is the trouble maker that tries to get Mammon busted B)

Skull

He somehow ends up doing a lot more secretarial work than he signed up for, because everyone else pushes it on him; He doesn’t mind at some point because it gives him so much leeway to slack off lolol until Lal catches him and gives him the ass beating of his life for it

He's a thrill seeker, and his humungous ego actually gets him in a lot of trouble. There are points in time where he feels like if he cannot succeed at something, the whole world is against him and he might as well just stop trying? Or to go balls to the wall with disregard for his life

Now, man is built like a tank and practically unkillable, but the amount of times that Tsuna and the others had to live through Skull's near-death experiences has made him a lot more aware of just how much people actually give a shit about him and how throwing all caution to the wind may not kill him yet, but pains his loved ones more than anything..

He's still the baby of the family though, despite him wanting to show up and be the cool guy, he's just a silly guy!! He also always arrives late to anything and everything and that's gotten them in trouble infinite times

me realizing I had to pull character flaws out of my ass to see the Arcos in a more well-rounded light, with room for character development (since they'd need to do that over the hypothetical course of the series if they were Tsuna's guardians) this rly juiced my brain but I might as well post??

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

so uh. I am “Cis Boy Anon” I guess I’m being called now and I just wanted to. Apologize and clarify a bit for my previous confession. I already sent something like this, but it wasn’t posted I thought of a bunch of other stuff to say immediately afterward.

First, I am very sorry for any harm I may have caused. That was not my intention. I acted very childish.

Second. I at no point was trying to say I spoke for all cis people. I was sharing my own experience and opinion. It was a bad opinion, and am not trying to imply that anyone else shared anything like it.

Third. I was… in a bad headspace when I wrote that. I’ve grown kind of frustrated and disillusioned with this fandom recently, as every single time I’ve tried to share my thoughts and opinions they’ve just been ignored. I feel very left out of the discussion, and it has discouraged me from trying to actually join.

Fourth. I do not despise anyone for having trans headcanons. I have a couple of my own. But to see it be one of the only things talked about, and it being something that I didn’t really feel I could take part in, it caused me to feel a lot of unearned hate towards it.

Fifth and finally. About people “not wanting to hear the opinions of cis man”. That’s a me problem. I do not value my own opinions much and am afraid that I will be hated for them. It is something that I need to work on, and I should not have it about gender. That was very childish of me.

Anyway. I apologize for any harm I may have caused, and I thank you all for your patience.

P.S: “Go cry cis boy” is iconic.

Ok the first two point are fine but I want to address the rest:

#3 your frustration and feeling of being left out should not end up being left down too "I don't like people I having trans headcanons, you should listen to cis ppl instead". Idc that your "worded it badly", that's basically what you said

#4 I'm not sure where you're getting it being "one of the only things talked about", trans headcanons and headcanons in general are a big part of the fandom yes but that's how it is for most fandoms, but so much other stuff is talked in this fandom as well. Also just because you are cis doesn't mean you cannot at all partake and trans headcanons, as long as you're not lying or something and claiming "oh I'm the trans and see this character as trans bc it lines up with my experience" then you're fine

#5 it is not just childish if you to have said that. So many transphobes and queerphobes say stuff about how cis straight white men are the minority and aren't listen too. You were reiterating a transphobic idea

[youremyheaven]

I found your blog when I was reaserching sufism since I’m leaning into it and the first thing I saw was your post about fated love which is so crazy because I’m pretty sure I’m on a “twin flame” journey!

Last year I saw a guy I met 7 years ago and that I hated at the time and I got triggered beyond measurement (I minimized it to the fact that I was jealous of his accomplishments) and my life has flipped upside down since then. I’ve healed so much of my trauma & went though a complete ego death and went out to find my callings.

The only thing is that he has been on my mind for a whole year in a fundamental way and I’ve even had crazy lucid dreams about him and i just feel so pathetic at times for spending so much thoughts on a stranger.

When i first prayed to god for answers is when I had my first dream of him the same night as some sort of answer but I’m still confused.

Sorry if this information overload but if you have my more knowledge and advice on the subject I would appreciate so much ❤️

finally a different kind of ask <3

i have been on a twin flame journey for several years now and this is probably going to be a controversial take because i havent heard anybody else express this sort of opinion in the twin flame community (99% of people in that community are absolutely delusional so i refrain from taking part in that sort of thing) i honestly think uniting on the physical plane is probably impossible for many twin flames and i also dont think theyre meant to?

a lot of people confused limerence with twin flame-ness. idk who needs to hear this but the random married person you're obsessed with isnt your twin flame.

in 2022 i met someone who i felt strangely pulled to. he reacted to seeing me like he was struck by lightning and i felt repulsed by him. in 2023, it became this cat and mouse, back and forth kind of thing where it seemed to build into mutual obsession but after interacting with him, i was completely put off by him and felt even disgusted by him but at the same time, i have changed so profoundly as a person from that first encounter and the second encounter that i really cant make sense of it. he instils a sense of desire in me and makes me want to change things and be better for myself yk? he's like the silent voice in my head ngl, everytime i think of doing anything, i have him in mind as my imaginary audience lol. its not in terms of whether or not he would approve but rather in terms of his presence?? feels comforting?? so its nice to have his energy in mind whenever im confronted by something new??

the trauma confrontation, ego death, finding your calling etc are all part of the journey

if you feel yourself slipping into obsessive thoughts, try to focus on prayer, or work or your hobbies because its unhealthy to dwell on such thoughts too much but some minuscule amount of feelings for that person (feelings that are very confusing because it cannot be easily defined) will always linger. i wish them well and hope for the best but right now all i can do is focus on what their energy is doing to me aka undoing my life and making me level up lol and each phase of this journey is unique like that.

in my case, i dont expect to ever unite with him physically. i just dont think its possible tbh but i have a very strong feeling that i will run into him again in a few years and that its part of the journey idk

my advice would be to focus on yourself and not on him but by focusing on yourself, you are healing yourself of what is keeping you in a state where you react negatively to them, ykwim?? dont expect to be with that person, the purpose of a twin flame is to teach you things and help your soul ascend to the next level. union cannot be orchestrated and sometimes god knows best that union is not meant to be in this lifetime. but that does not mean this experience isnt valuable. the experience is what it makes of you. and its vvv easyyy to romanticize a person you dont know very well, just trust that its for the best that youre not with them tbh

[patamon]

tagged by @komawo THANK YOU SM, I am soooo honoured to be included and I’m so sorry for the delays!!!! And omg of course you fit into the Tumblr community, I can’t believe you would even question this! 

hot or cold shower: hot shower, my self-care practice is to drench myself in a hot shower and question all my choices in life

texting or calling: calling, so I think working from home has really soured my attitude towards texting or any text-related form of communication like emails, chats, etc...I can’t begin to tally the time and energy wasted on the back-and-forths, the typos, the waiting for people to respond, the misinterpretations and misunderstandings, the passive aggressive tension...like honestly, just press the little phone icon on MS Teams and we can resolve this 3-day email chain in 10-minutes, it’s not that hard.

earbuds or headphones: earbuds, got my first Air Pods this year and I’m not going back!!! If you have an iPhone, nothing will make more sense than Air Pods, I promise you.

paperback or hardcover: paperback, there’s something very nostalgic about the feel of a paperback book in my hand. It takes me back to a simpler and more innocent time, where all your life’s toughest questions could be answered in a satisfying concluding chapter of the book you’ve been working through.

More below the cut (because this got kinda long lol)...

matte or gel: I have no idea what this is referring to but my mind went to nails…like gel nails or the….other type idk. So my answer is idk...

12 hr clock or 24 hr clock: 12 hour, 24-hour clock is too complicated for my brain

blue or green: blue, favourite colour 💙 Only reason why I picked Team Mystic in PoGo

sunsets or sunrises: I wish I could say both but am I ever up to actually see a sunrise? 🤣

tulips or orchids: orchids, I grew up with orchids all around me. Even now, there are orchids everywhere in our abode because my mother loves tending to them. It’s actually kinda cute to see her tend to her hobby.

candle light or moonlight: moonlight 🌝 not only is moonlight prettier, but it doesn’t stoke my anxiety and give me constant fear that everything in my home would be burned down lol

sci-fi or horror: sci-fi, me and my anxiety cannot handle horror anything, nope.

pen or pencil: pen, I WANT TO MARK THAT SHIT DOWN IN PERMANENCE! Plus, I love Muji pens

pandas or koalas: pandas, #teambamboo

gold or silver: gold, it pops more when I incorporate gold into any projects I’m working on, silver kinda blends into the background, unless I’m using a dark background but I rare use dark backgrounds.

sneakers or boots: sneakers, comfy and practical 😊

denim or leather jacket: neither because they’re both uncomfortable, but out of the two, I would say denim

pink or purple: pink, esp pastel pink

choco or sour candy: sour candy, I used to hate sour, but the older I get, the more I crave sour things. I don’t know what that means…am I Hydrogen ion deficient or something?

deodorant or perfume: perfume, deodorant makes my skin feel all weird. Maybe I’m allergic

drive-in theater or cinema: cinema, I do miss going to the movies. I haven’t been as often since COVID lockdown and would really like to go back on a regular basis. Also, I’ve never been to a drive-in theatre but imagine it would be too distracting with everything around me. I really want to immerse myself in the movie….that’s why I enjoy going to the cinema a lot

pastel blue or earth tones: pastel blue, favourite colour pt. 2 💙 💙

lemonade or fruit juice: lemonade, goes back to my sour thing

past or future: As cliché as it sounds, I do try my best to live in the present so…neither?

Tagging @tangledupblue, @digitalworldbound, @reliablejoukido, @sluggybasson107, @places-people, @ri-ships-takari, @stoppingtosmelltheflowers, @ahiddenpath, @tohjofalls, @animegenork

and anyone else who wants to do this!

[megamindsecretlair]

Rules:

In a reblog of this post OR a new thread (with the rules copy/ pasted), post the filenames of your WIP's.

Post a snippet from one of them. The snippet must have been written in the last 7 days. We're working on making progress people! If you've not written anything, get something down that you want to share!

After you've posted, invite people to send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3+ sentences on that WIP and share it! If you cannot share it (ie. it's for an event etc), write the sentences on it anyway and then some more on another WIP that you can share :)

Ya'll determined to make me write ahead of time LOL. Since I've posted some WIPs from the last one I did, I'll try to add new ones. I'm just plum not that quick!

Feel Like I Do - Sam Wilson

With This Sin - Tyrone

A Hold On You, Pt 2 - Franklin

Pour Into Me, Pt 2 - Tyrone

Here is a snippet of Feel Like I Do:

The guy in front of you was shouting too loudly, trying to be heard over the music. You blamed the music for not being able to hear him. No matter how loud he spoke, you pointed to your ears and shook your head. He ignored your first two attempts to tell him you weren’t interested. You declined his offers for drinks, telling him your name, and when you explicitly stated, “I’m not interested”. You hated that men thought ‘no’ was an invitation to try harder. You rolled your eyes for the hundredth time. This guy was really bringing your club buzz down. The two shots you took and the cocktail you nursed was starting to evaporate in your blood stream the longer the guy talked. He was cute in a sort of nerdy way, but persistence was not hot when you had already said no. You were here to celebrate your girls’ break up. She had always been a homebody while in the relationship and it was high time to celebrate dropping one hundred eighty pounds of dead weight. Your two friends were out on the dancefloor shaking their booties and throwing their hands in the air. You had to take a break. Your feet were killing you in your heels. “Babe! There you are!” A smooth voice called behind you. Heat pressed into your shoulder as you looked up at a new man. He was delicious with dark, chestnut skin, high cheekbones, and a quick smile. He made no move to touch you, but he looked at you as if he knew you. “I’m sorry I took so long,” he said. He leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I know he’s bothering you.” You smiled at him. You also hated that it took being claimed by another man to rescue you, but you’d take the out. “That’s okay, he was keeping me company,” you said and looked at the man. He smiled and bobbed his head awkwardly. “My bad, bro!” He said and scooted off to perv on someone else.

No pressure tags: @just4shyt3z @j0kers-light @saturn-rings-writes

[sorcerous-caress]

Solllll :( :( :( :( :( I think they need like. 30 more hugs :( Them plus Lae’zel was really cute though.,,,,, a red dragon descendant and a githyanki huehue love how they’d offer to become a mindflayer instead of her ;-; Also yeah Minthara and Halsin would be great 👀👀 + any other characters you want to write for .!! I’m assuming they bond with Minthara about bullying Gale early on if nothing else

Getting asks about Sol give me such a serotonin boost that I save answering them for the days I'm not feeling well so I can indulge myself <33333 I don't wanna consume them all in one day, they're as precious as candy.

And I wrote the Halsin, Minthara and other companions here!

So how about instead, here is how Sol would react to receiving a hug from the companions + Durge + Tav. Assuming everything happens in act 3.

Shadowheart

By that time they feel guilty for the way they treated her in act 1, they watch her walk towards them and wonder if she's going to slap them after their half-assed apology the other day that Tav delivered to Shadowheart without their permission.

Whatever. She has a right to, they tell themselves. It's nothing, they've felt worse and if it will make her feel better then so be it. So they don't move and stand waiting for her, holding her gaze without faltering.

They're ready for the pain but instead are met with her warm embrace. With her hands wrapping around them and cradling their back, with her face nuzzling between their neck and shoulders. Her armour plates feel cold against their exposed skin.

They hated how good sharrans were at reading others emotions, they hated how her hug tightened around them when she felt the lump stuck in their throat.

They want to say it, I'm sorry. It burns and keeps slipping from their tongue, it scorches them to admit it. It's weakness. Their arms stay still on their side, clenching and unclenching their sharp fingers into fists.

The battle of the absolute that awaits them right around the corner crosses their mind, they might very well die as if they've never lived to begin with.

Is this really what they want to be their legacy?

"I am...deeply sorry for-" they lift their hand, entangling their fingers in Shadowheart's hair and pushing her face further into their neck, making sure she cannot lift her head to see the glossiness in their eyes or tremble of their lips, "for everything."

They still can't hug her back, they don't feel like they deserve to.

"I know." Shadowheart says. She eventually pulls back, Sol turned their face away from her in shame by that point.

.

Wyll

The watch the reunion between him and his father with bitterness, green envy burning through their brown eyes.

They hold themselves back, they don't say anything, don't ruin this beautiful moment just because of their selfish desires. They have a half-mind to know when they should shut up.

Wyll doesn't. As he calls out to them to come here, join the hug. Sol thinks he must have lost his mind or something.

They give him that look of "dude this is your moment, enjoy it and let me be" but he's persistent. And apparently the apple didn't fall far from their tree for his father is approving of this.

Of Sol.

Okay, now they're fully embarrassed. There is no fucking way he thinks that they'll just waltz up to a three people hug in front of the whole camp as if they don't have a reputation to uphold.

But they were raised on those strick"never disobey your parents and elders" rules and fuck does that training kick in when Wyll's father calls over to them to come. Damn you generational trauma.

There is an awkward clacking of heels as they walk over to the father and son duo, with the reluctance of a dog being lead to a bathtub.

When Wyll eventually has to make the first move and pull them into a hug, Sol closes their eyes and stand there like 🧍.

This is so disgustingly sweet and wholesome they think they're going to throw up. Wyll shouldn't be sharing his happiness with them, he shouldn't be sharing his father and he shouldn't be sharing this hug. He more than earned all of them for everything he went through.

But he is...and Sol is shown love. Shown understanding from Wyll who knows what's it like to see others hug their parents when yours aren't around for you.

His father is a surprisingly understanding man, he treats Sol with kindness and not like the intruder they feel they are. Sol gains respect for him because of that, they still haven't forgiven him for what he did to Wyll but...the fact he is willing to atone for his mistakes and listen to sense is not something they ever expected.

Lae'zel

Honestly they're always happy to see Lae'zel and especially in act 3. Her presence always brings good fortune and news like "found some guys we gotta kill" or "Let's fight to the death again" ah her activities are always so thoughtful and fun.

Sol absolutely loves how they don't need to hold back around her, how no matter how much they burn her and engulf her in flames, she will still rise up to swing her big sword at them. Even when one of them goes too far, the other never holds a grudge and actually compliments them on their strength.

The way she talks about red dragons sometimes as if they're some majestic creatures. The way she doesn't condem their selfish or greedy nature, how she sees beauty in their absolute grace.

Sol tried to return the favour one time but didn't know how to, they asked Astarion and he suggested frogs so they tried talking to Lae'zel about how beautiful frogs are but it seemed to fly over her head. The next time it was her turn to cook, she made a special frogs dish for Sol to eat.

They munched on brunt frogs legs wondering if it might be a bad idea to trust Astarion. Or if they need to find and kill a dragon to feed to Lae'zel?

This whole situation is what resulted in the hug, she was talking to them about red dragons again one day when they commented how they actually smell like them too.

Lae'zel got quiet, observing them with cautious eyes before immediately lunging at them. She had her tiny nose pressed against their pulse point and all of her body wrapped around them in a very intimate hug.

"Hmm yes, I see that you were telling the truth." Lae'zel murmurs, still obserbed in their lineage and not aware od the fact Sol is too focused on the hug to register her words.

This is definitely one of the top ten best moments of their life, even better than that one time as a kid when their first ever scale started growing out of their face.

Sol wraps their arms around her, the two idiots stay like this for a while, hugging and talking about dragons and githyanki.

Gale

If Gale offers it they'll immediately reject it, so it has to happen by surprise or accident.

You see, they were just normally minding their own business around their side of the room when Gale came by, said how he has been thinking about something and he realised why Sol is so mean to him.

"I've concluded it must be your rough upbringing which have resulted in your misplaced mistrust in others." He spoke with such confidence and consideration, a sympathetic look in his puppy brown eyes. "

"So?" They replied.

"Soooo...I'm very willing to start a new page with you, here is to our future happy friendship!" Gale's words held so much power in them and sincerity, it was clear this is something he has been putting a lot of thought int

Sol froze as he pulled them into a hug, patting their back awkwardly. Gale closed his eyes reading to cast a counterspell at the tip of his tongue as he held strongly in the hug.

Then Sol wrapped their arms around his neck, his smile grew as he thought he finally cracked down their walls. Only for them to tighten their hold until he couldn't breath, cutting off his air until he loosen his grip around them.

They immediately broke away from his embrace.

"I would rather hug a cactus at least it doesn't smell like cheap magic."

Their friendship was rather short lived.

Halsin

Maybe it's his bear form and he's high on some honey and cuddles them, they don't recognise him and happily let this adorable bear nuzzle them. Animals never befriend them so easily, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and they haven't really been this close to a bear before. Even the most cuddly of cats run away from them.

Then you make a comment on how Halsin needs to tone down his honey consumption and it's like they were drenched in cold water.

Desperately kicking their way out of the heavy bear on top of them, clawing at the dirt to pull themselves away as if he's burning them alive. Halsin doesn't register their attempts and his fur is too thick for them to make any scratches.

So they do the only thing they know, they bite him, deep.

There is a metallic taste in their mouth and the smell of burnt fur follows after. They're seriously uncomfortable with this and want their personal space back.

Ugh the one time an adorable animal finally trusts them and it's this fake druid wannabe, they refuse to be on a team with him for a whole week after this incident. And keep snapping at anyone who touches them even if it's you.

Halsin seriously unnerves them. Even when he sincerely apologise after, they tell him they don't his apology, he should just keep his distance and stay away.

Minthara

There is no way either of them would start the hug, even by accident. Sol keeps their distant away from companions and Minthara is too smart and cautious to touch them, even by accident.

She does kinda of treat them as an endangerment and Sol does the same. Both are aware of how easily the other is to tick off.

You'll have to be the one to plan this hug, maybe it's a dare, or maybe you play the leader card. Whatever it is, both of them are really hesitant and would need a lot of convincing.

When it finally happens it's...awkward, stiff. Minthara insists on having water nearby and Sol insists on Minthara dropping her sword before the hug. It's like the awkward hug two dads would give to each other because their spouces pressured them into it.

You picked the most emotionally constipated people in camp for this.

It's over quickly and they don't speak about it. If you ask Sol how it felt, they tell you it's none of your business. If you ask Minthara, she'd say it was as disappointing as she thought, why did you even suggest this?

Both of them actually enjoyed it a bit.

Durge

You're struggling against your ropes, against the dark thoughts swarming your brain.

Blood. Blood. Blood.

It repeats, you can only focus on the Sorcerer kneeling besides you.

How delicious it would be to tear them limb from limb, to show them how weak they really are. Would they beg for mercy or would their pride make them a boring silent kill? How much torture can they endure before their mind breaks?

Sol is looking at you with defeated eyes. As if they've seen this sight before, as if this isn't their first time holding a loved one down.

Pain isn't a great cost. A lot of things are worth enduring it for. Beauty, love, family, power.

You.

They ignore your previous words of staying away as they lean down, hugging your struggling body against theirs. They're strong enough by this point to hold you down, strong enough to hold your snapping jaw close.

It's okay, the tell you, they'll give you whatever you ask for. Just stay, don't let the voices win, don't lose yourself.

They aren't always careful, they end up with a couple bone deep bites from you. But they never burn you, never look at you with any resentment. Only understanding, only compassion.

It's the longest hug they've ever given anyone.

They'll do whatever it takes to calm you down, they never want you to feel alone even in your most dangerous of states. They never want you to experience the shame or isolation that eats up at them.

Tav

They snapped at you in anger when you touched their flower, it's gotten so old that a mere single touch made one of the petals easily crumble and fall.

They said mean words, very mean things as they blamed you for ruining something that saved them. Seething rage blinding them to the hurt expression on your face.

But you're not snapping back, not taking the bait. Sol is growing more irritated, why can't you ever do anything right? They yell.

It doesn't matter how you react, or what you explain. They end up storming away. You don't see them the next day but their stuff is still there, their precious belongings still next to yours.

They'll eventually be back, after they cooled off. They don't meet your eyes, don't talk to you much.

You can corner them and force them to face you, tell them this is getting absurd and their silent treatment won't fix the situation, that if they're angry at you they should just say so.

They're not angry at you, they're angry at themselves, they confess. You shouldn't forgive them, you should be angry, you should hate them for how they can't control something so simple as their anger, for being mean to you over something so stupid.

...but that flower really meant a lot to them, Sol knows you didn't mean it. They it was old and a miracle it survived the many battles they've been through for this long. But all they felt is unbearable pain when they saw it crumble and fall. They tell you they'd have preferred you severed a limb of theirs instead.

It doesn't excuse their actions they know. You deserve better, they can't be better. This is a losing game you're playing with them, because no matter how hard they try they always slip, something one day will always make them snap.

And they'll always hurt you, no matter how much they love you. So please either hurt them back or go, don't be this selflessly kind. They don't have anything of worth to offer you.

...why are you still standing here? Didn't you hear them?

You want this? You want them as they are? God...You're really an idiot.

But you're their idiot.

They immediately hug you, apologising deeply for all the words they said. They don't want to let go, they never want to let go of you. Don't be cruel and take away the single speck of love they somehow managed to swidle out of this life, out of the destiny they were born to fullfill.

Their kind is not meant for love, but for power. And you make them feel the weakest they have ever felt. It's exhilarating.

[blue-eyed-cutiepatootie]

I posted 7,543 times in 2022

1,010 posts created (13%)

6,533 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blue-eyed-cutiepatootie

@emeraldcas

@one-more-offbeat-anthem

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I tagged 2,868 of my posts in 2022

#💜💜💜💜💜 - 152 posts

#sr - 117 posts

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#lotr - 47 posts

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Longest Tag: 127 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

click for quality

162 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#4

“This is serious,” said Cas. “I must have an Escape.”

So he took his largest jars of peanut butter and jelly and escaped with them to a broad branch of his tree and then he climbed down again and escaped with another jar... and when the whole Escape was finished, there was Cas sitting on his branch, dangling his legs, and there, beside him, were ten jars of peanut butter and jelly. 

-Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne 

174 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

Cas hates pulling weeds and apologizes to each one so sorry but youre choking out my vegetables

178 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#2

The Best Goddamn Soup

Destiel ficlet

wc 1200, established relationship, sick fic, Cas takes care of Dean

also on AO3

Dean wakes in a coughing fit.

He pushes himself up, his head pounding, and fumbles around for the water bottle he now keeps by his bed every night. He brings the straw to his lips and cool water soothes his burning throat. He coughs again and continues drinking.

Suddenly the lamp clicks on and a soft glow fills the room. Even that small amount of light makes Dean groan. He’s still catching his breath as Cas rubs his back.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Cas rumbles, his voice thick with sleep.

Covering his eyes, Dean turns to his husband. “I’m dying. Can you turn the light off?”

Even with his eyes covered, Dean can hear the eyeroll and the light clicks off.

 The bed dips as Cas gets up. The door creaks open. The hall light turns on. Cas returns and walks over to Dean’s side of the bed. A warm hand covers his forehead, and he groans again.

“Ow! Fuck, Cas that hurts!”

“Dean. All I did was touch your forehead.”

Suddenly the pressure moves to his nose and he can’t breathe.

“My head feels like its going to explode. I need a tissue.”

Cas hands him the tissue box and he tries to blow his nose five times before anything actually moves. The pressure lessens slightly.

“Dean, tell me what’s wrong.” Thank God for Cas’ low voice because anything higher would break his eardrums.

“I think I have a sinus infection.” He usually gets one once or twice a year. Fuck allergies.

“What do you need?”

“There should be decongestant in the medicine cabinet. I’ll need one of those. And can you run the water in the bathroom sink so it gets hot? I usually put a hot washcloth on my face to help with the pain.” Dean doubles over in another coughing fit and Cas hands him his water bottle.

“Anything else?”

“Maybe something warm to drink?”

“Of course, Dean.”

Cas presses a kiss to the top of his head and disappears into their bathroom. He returns with the bottle of decongestant and puts one little pill in Dean’s hand. While Dean takes the pill, Cas starts wringing his hands.

“Should I call our doctor? Or do you need to go to urgent care?” He runs a hand through his already messy hair. “I can’t heal you if you’re dying, Dean.” His voice is getting higher and Dean cannot deal with that right now. He reaches out and catches Cas’ hand before it can run through his hair again.

“Babe, I’m sorry, I’m being dramatic. I’m not dying, my head is just killing me. I just need that washcloth and then quiet to rest in. Light and noise make the headache worse.”

Cas nods, a little frantic. “Ok. But if it gets worse, I’m taking you to urgent care. I’ll go make you tea.”

Before Dean can protest, he’s out the door. Dean shakes his head and slowly makes his way to the bathroom. The water is hot and he fishes a washcloth out of the closet. Once it is fully saturated he covers his face with it, doing his best to inhale the steam. Finally, sweet, sweet relief. He can feel the snot gradually melt. He quickly dries his face and blows his nose again. It feels like his brains are coming out of his nose. He repeats the magic trick until Cas appears in the doorway.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?” Somehow even with less snot in his nose his voice sounds worse. But his head feels less like its going to explode.

See the full post

204 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

💜 Cas with lily wings for @10x02 Lyn's celebration

257 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[heeseungwifey]

"It's so romantic in Paris, won't even try to compare it..." [Sunghoon x Kazuha]

Chapter 1: The sleeping beauty

pairing - iceskater!Sunghoon x Ballerina!Kazuha (read the disclaimer!)

wc - 1.6k

sypnosis - Kazuha is flying with her ballet school to Paris to perform The Sleeping Beauty but she's very unmotivated since her crush and her rival are the main leads. Her day turns around the moment she sits next to Sunghoon, a hot ice skater who's coincidentally also flying to a championship that takes place in Paris.

warnings: embarrassment, mentions of ED (following chapters), smut (following chapters), very awful writing from a non-English native (sorry!) I'll add more warnings as I finish the following chapters.

GUys this is my first fic everr!! my idea is three chapters, developing the story, this is just the beginning, let me know if you like the idea.

disclaimer: I don´t ship anyone in this fic irl, I just thought they would look good together and everyone has such an elegant essence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1; The sleeping beauty

All I’ve known since childhood is perfectionism and strictness. Classical music and training hours. I guess that’s the price to pay to get somewhere as a ballet dancer. Maybe I’ll never know anything else.

I’m standing on a queue at the airport, destination Paris. My school and I are going for a 3 month show at the Palais Garnier, presenting The Sleeping beauty. I would be very much enthusiastic about this if it wasn’t because unless Mina “the sleeping beauty” breaks a leg, I’m not even part of it at all.

Saying goodbye to my parents in sweats and with my headphones on I walk to the boarding door when I noticed a group of tall and slim men are also approaching it, but I don’t recognize any of them from our school.

“Ice skaters”- Says Chaewon on my shoulder, looking at them from head to toe. – “They have a world competition in Paris too, seems like all stars align for us and our trip to the city of love, don’t you think?”

“I’m nervous enough thinking that I might be kicked out if I don’t do better, I have no time to think about boys, even less fuckboy athletes”. – I’ve had enough experiences to know that if I plan to keep being a ballet dancer, my chances of finding love are very slim.

“C’mon Kazuha you always say that and then get paired up with a boy and suddenly they’re the love of your life, or don’t you remember your big fat crush with Minhyuk?”

Back when our school was doing Romeo and Juliet, Minhyuk was doing Romeo and I was Juliet. He’s way older than me but I guess spending so much time with him every single day made me grow fond of him. He didn’t feel the same because right after Mina entered the school they began dating. When I heard the news, I couldn’t leave my house for a week and called in sick. Chaewon came to visit and when she realized I wasn’t sick she began insisting to know what happened, so I had no other choice but to be honest. I know it’s completely fair that a man that has no interest in me dates another girl but the simple thought of seeing them together made me want to barf and it still does.

Sakura is simply the most talented of all of us, including Minhyuk, whom I had always considered and admired for being so talented. It’s obvious that for this great opportunity they were going to get the lead roles. They make a good couple and I’m jealous of that. I cannot simply be happy for people that are better than me on everything so effortlessly, it makes my blood boil. Specially Sakura, who’s so nice it makes it impossible to hate her.

“what seat are you on? I’m on F22”- Chaewon has been talking to me all this time as I was just dissociating, thinking how much I’m going to miss my parents and sleeping in my bed.

“I have seat F25, let’s see if we can ask someone to move so we can seat together.

Right as we are aboard the plane and get closer to our seats, I realize that we’re sitting right in the middle of the group of ice skaters.  I look at their faces and suddenly get very intimidated by how handsome they all are. High noses and fair skin, very slim and a great posture. I realized one of them has white hair and is sitting right next to my seat, F25.  By the time I’m going to tell Chaewon I don’t think they’re going to change seats with us she’s already talking to the boy who’s next to her seat.

“Hi Jake, my name is Chaewon, nice to meet you! Has anyone ever said to you how beautiful your nose is?”- she seats next to this man, and I already know I’m not longer going to sit next to her.

“Are you on the seat F25? Hold on, let me get up so I help you with your bags”- The boy with the white hair gets up and I get to compare is height to mine. Wow, he is tall. If I hugged him my head would be resting right on his chest. I look up as he finishes putting my bags on the overhead compartment and we make eye contact.

I felt like everyone had disappeared for 10 seconds. Chaewon, Mina and Minhyuk, every other passenger was gone the moment his eyes met mine, such beautiful dark brown that left me no choice but to look at them. I quickly snapped the moment I realized he said something to me.

“do you have anything else you wanna put in here? - he repeated.

“no, no thank you. That’s all”- I smile shyly and embarrassed as I slide onto my seat, next to the window.

“I’m Sunghoon, nice to meet you”- I looked at him in disbelief as the lingering question I had in my mind was answered by him, starting a conversation I wish would last the whole flight.

“I’m Kazuha, are you by any chance from the ice-skating national team?”- I need to keep the conversation going so I ask the most obvious question ever.

“Ah yes, we’re going to Paris because the tournament is being celebrated there. What about you, what takes you to Paris?”- he has turned his whole body towards me, resting his forearm on the armrest that’s in between us and looks at me directly into my eyes, waiting for my response.

“I’m a ballet dancer, we’re going to Paris for 3 months to present The Sleeping Beauty at the Garnier Palace.”“Are you the sleeping beauty?”- he asks with a smirk on his face.

“Uh, no, I’m going just in case the female lead gets injured, so I’m really not going to dance much”- I let a smile slide since weeks and kind of embarrasses me the way I’m telling a stranger my life.

“Wow that girl must be a really good sleeper if she won you because I highly doubt, she’s more beautiful than you”- He looks at me in the eyes and I’m no longer giggling, my face is getting red as I realized he’s complimenting me.

“Oh, thank you, well she’s indeed really pretty so I didn’t have a chance either”- I laugh it off and follow his joke as I become shy because of the redness on my face.

“who is she? Let me see if that’s true.” He looks around the airplane and I point at Sakura who’s casually resting her head on Minhyuk’s shoulder, which sends shivers down my spine and Sunghoon notices.

“Is it her? Really? well I guess not everyone has a good eye for beauty”- he looks at me and I can tell he’s trying to cheer me up, so I smile at him, and he smiles back showing his pointy canines, making him look like a vampire. I hate that he feels pity for me, so I decide to start watching a Netflix show on my iPad and leave the conversation all together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three hours have passed and my airpods remind me there’s no battery left so I have no other choice but to stop watching the TV show. Sunghoon next to me realizes and offers one of his.

“I’m watching Catching killers, I don’t know if you’re into true crime, but this is what I can offer”- he looks at me funnily while he whispers, with a smile on his face and holding the right airpod with two fingers.

“I actually love true crime”- I whisper since there’s people sleeping around us, pick the airpod and put it in my ear. As I get closer to him to see the laptop screen and absentmindedly rest my head on his shoulder leaving it there for the rest of the flight.

By the time we get to Paris we’re both asleep, me resting my head on his shoulder and his head on my head. When we wake up, we’re surprised by Chaewon and her new friend Jake, laughing at us.

“Wow look at them, sharing airpods and all, hahaha”-he was laughing and sticking out his tongue.

“Zuha I thought you weren’t into athletes, I guess it was a lie”-Chaewon said to me, laughing.

“Jake bro shut up”- Sunghoon looks mad with his eyebrows furrowed and angrily packing his laptop inside his backpack.

“Chaewon are you dumb?!, stop shouting!”-they were making so much noise I knew it was gonna bring attention to us, what I didn’t expect was Minhyuk showing up right as everyone was getting out of the plane.

“Kazuha what is going on? Is he bothering you?” - he looked quite angry and was making direct eye contact with Sunghoon, who was looking at him right back.

“No, it’s okay, we were just watching a Netflix show together and fell asleep, that’s all.”

“do you know him?”

“no, well yes now I do, we just meet on the plane”- I tried to excuse myself in front of Minhyuk, making a fool of myself in the process.

“let’s go kazuha, get your belongings”- Minhyuk says very strictly, and I had no other choice but to follow his orders. No one is laughing anymore, Chaewon, Jake and Sunghoon look at me worriedly as I grab my things and leave next to Minhyuk.

Now that I think about it, I never said goodbye to Sunghoon. I don’t even have his phone number. Let the City of Love do its magic if this is meant to be.

[clanoffelidae]

Brachycephalic animal lovers this post is not for you I just don’t know how else to tag it and I mentioned these breeds, sorry. :( (Not in that I’m saying the animals deserve to be hated, absolutely not, but that I don’t like the breeds.)

I’ve literally never found brachycephaly cute in dogs and cats, or severe forms of it anyway. Mild doesn’t really bother me although it looks a bit odd, but then again mild brachycephalic animals usually don’t need much if any treatment for it because they’re overall okay!!!

But severely brachycephalic breeds??? Like pugs and persians??? I’ve literally NEVER found them cute or appealing and cannot see why people like them. And I don’t mean this in a ‘hohoho im so special and above their cute allure’ way, I mean that it literally does not activate my cute response and never has. All I can ever see is a severely deformed animal whose features I can’t fathom people finding so cute they insist on breeding them and making it worse. Like seriously, look at this!

No!!! That’s not cute!!! That’s disgusting and I feel sorry for the poor thing!!! I certainly don’t blame animals like this for their own issues and would never treat them with disdain for how they look, if anything I’d be trying to smother them because I feel so bad for them!!! But I don’t understand what the hell people see in that that makes them want to make more of them.

It’s like seeing a janus cat and going ‘yeah let’s make a breed out of that’ like no??? Maybe let’s don’t??? Just look at what you’ve done to the poor things!

The individual animal who just happened to be born like that isn’t to blame and is just as lovable as any other critter but maybe let’s not purposefully breed animals to be severely deformed for our own aesthetic desires???

Janus cat for those who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about with that lol. Condition is called diprosopus (craniofacial duplication)

Frank and Louie who beat the odds and lived to be 15 years old! What a tough old boy <3

And here’s Duo who is currently still alive and kicking! She’s about 3 years old right now I believe?

(Had her middle eye removed)

Like I am so impressed by and proud of these fighters for defying the odds and keeping strong despite the way they were born, but would I ever want to breed a cat like that on purpose?

NO

And I cannot understand why on earth people want to breed severely brachycephalic animals either. I just don’t get it.

[boolger]

i was tagged by the sweet @rosieblogstuff !!<3 anyone who wants to answer this too, consider this your tag 🫡💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 53! Somehow, haha. Once I'm done w thesis, it will grow for sure!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

608,326 words! 😳 i stresswrite

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now its only Macgyver(2016) and Call of Duty! I've made a marvel crossover, but not anything else. Once I'm done with uni and actually have the time to write and see shows without feeling like I should be doing other stuff, I will definitely write for more! I want to write something for stuff like Knives out, Phantom of the Opera, Star wars -- but mainly a ton of Macgyver and call of duty, lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? well, they've changed quite recently, since i jumped headfirst into the COD fandom and was welcomed very nicely! So, right now, theyre:

Adventures of 141's bunny (1,502 kudos😳😳)- Call of Duty

Mami's omega (448 kudos) - Call of Duty

The Heron Club (363 kudos) - Call of Duty

Warm water (150 kudos) - Macgyver

A pregnant night (144 kudos) - Macgyver

Im very grateful for each single kudos !!💖🥰

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, or I try now! It was easier when I was only in the macgyver fandom, since it is much smaller, but now in the Call of Duty fandom, i'm afraid I simply cannot keep up! So if I don’t reply to your comment, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude or anything!👉👈

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

phew, that is one good question, because I honestly don't know. I have a tendency to end things either happy and hopeful like, or dark and like, with the vibe of things just being uncertain but not necersarily angsty? Lmk if im wrong lmao. I think the closest is in A dog needs a garden, but then again, its not really angsty - at least not to the characters. just... dark.🤷‍♀️

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hm. I mean, in my two fics Sir and his good boy and my baby’s got a gun (that I struggle to read myself now bc while I do have a soft spot for them, I hate my writing lol.) I make poor Mac go through a lot of shit, and they both end up on a happy or hopeful note- so those two, I guess? For now, heh.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

mmm, not really. When I do get some questionable comments, I either just answer in a jokingly manner or ignore it. I think I've only deleted one comment, lol. 💀

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hah, YES. what don't I write. Despite being ace and not really being interested in sex irl, I sure do write a lot of smutty smut. I mostly write kinky stuff, a lot of BDSM ones. A lot of darker stuff too. I mean, out of 53 fics I think maybe 13 ish of them doesn’t have smut in them? So yeah, I write a bunch of smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Well, I've only written three (so far) lol. Two of them was just... Angus Macgyver and Jack Dalton having a threesome with a character from a different fandom, LMAO. I've written them having a threesome with Bucky Barnes from marvel and then one with Simon Ghost Riley from Call of Duty. The craziest one technically isn’t a crossover lmao, more just the fact that I made twilight vampires canon in a Macgyver fic I wrote once 💀😂 it’s called this is the skin of a killer, Jack and yes, I find it funny and stupid myself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not, lol. So no, at least not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Uh, no, again, not that I know of, lmao.👀

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Mmm, not technically, no. I don't talk often with a lot of fanfic writers, (im shy and idk how to become friends with people) but I do have 2 wonderful sweet friends I met through the macgyver fandom, whom i'm very grateful for and love lots. (They adopted my imposter ass who hadn’t even seen the show) They have managed to deal w my annoying ass for like... almost 2 years, I think and somehow isn't scared away yet. So, what I was going with that is, no, i've not co-written anything, but they do spar a lot with me and we discuss ideas and such, hehe. They've def helped me with a lot of fics.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That is one good question that I honestly don't know the answer of. I'm pretty open to most ships, as long as they're written well in the fic or the show. (and legal. and not *ncest or pseudo *ncest.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

don't call me out like this, I have a lot of WIPS. But honestly? Probably Wet footprints on the wooden floor (Macgyver). A part of me wants to, but its been like 1,5year or so, i think. At this point I would probably just delete it, then rewrite the entire thing and post it again, lol, because I do like the concept.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know, actually. I like to think I write somewhat interesting plots whenever I'm trying not to just write pure smut. But eh, idk. I think I have an okay sense of humor too? but I am also biased.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Weird sentences! English isn't my first language, Danish is! and the structure of a sentence can be very different in Danish, so sometimes my English sentences ends up weird bc they're translated, lol. I'm working on it and I have definitely become better ver since writing my first fanfic, lol.🤷‍♀️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like to read it, but I struggle with writing it! It's hard, especially when you dont speak a certain language. I sometimes go with google translate, but I've tried just writing it like this when its in another language, lol. so ye, fun but hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Eh, i mean, I wrote a fanfic or two when I was like 15 or something, but I cannot, for the life of me, remember what for. probably marvel or twilight or something😂

If we go with the boolger account time-line, then it's Macgyver!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

don't make me choose between my babies. So I shall cheat the system and mention some of my fav.

The many deaths of a phoenix(macgyver), since I like the plot ideas lol, even though I feel stuck with it atm.

Lovers in the garden of Eden (macgyver) (dead dove dont eat) which is def fucked up, not the worst kind I've written but still. It has a special place in my dark, f'ed up heart. 🖤

Do you think I'm broken? (macgyver) bc I tried to voice a lot of my own gender struggles through it lol.

and finally, i am a lil proud of So long as I'm your favorite toy(COD) heh.

[afolderfullofstories]

Whumptober 2023: Day 3

TW: Child whump, Serious talks about planning to kill a child

Notes: Another character to bring in for you. Yikes. Was just going down the whumptober list to see what I haven't filled. And this idea jumped up immediately. Context cause I realized I didn't explain it, Seraphina is a wild magic sorcerer, meaning she has absolutely no control of her powers. It was fun cause I just wanted to make the most chaotic character i could whose chaos was all accidents. So the wild magic things was all meant to be jokes. Well...you know me. I cannot leave characters happy for long. I get bored (and I also didn't know what to do with her. Like ok chaos...then?) We go the usual route of, oh character learns to control her powers. Then? So I dunno, what came out is easily one of the darker backstories for my characters?

Dear Diary,

Mommy and Daddy locked me in my room. I know I’ve done something bad again. But they won’t tell me what. The house doesn’t smell burnt again. But I know I’ve done something bad. I don’t remember what happened. I usually do. I usually remember causing a fire or summoning monsters or making people sick. But this time I don’t remember. Some of the neighbours had come over for dinner and we were all laughing and having fun. Then one of the girls pulled my hair and called me the village freak then…then… I don’t remember. I woke up in my room and they locked the door. I called out to mommy and daddy but they just asked me to stay in the room for awhile. Did I hurt anyone? Did I do something really bad? I didn’t mean to. I never mean to. It just happens. I hope everyone isn’t angry with me. Maybe they just need to calm down. I’ll stay here and wait for awhile. It’s ok.

Dear Diary,

They still won’t let me out. They won’t even open the door. They send in food to me through a small teleportation circle. They won’t say anything else to me. Why? What did I do wrong? Why can’t I remember? I’m scared. I tried knocking on the door but no one answered me. I think everyone’s very angry at me. I’m trying to learn the scriptures and pray to Lord Torm. But…why won’t anyone at least talk to me? Why won’t anyone say anything? I’m sorry. I really am sorry.

Dear Diary,

I can’t do this anymore. I kept banging on the door and begging them to let me out. But they wouldn’t let me out. They won’t even talk to me. Please talk to me. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do whatever I did. I’m sorry. I’ll be good. Please just let me out. I don’t want to stay in here alone anymore. Please. I’ll be good. Just let it out.

The next few pages of the diaries are tear-streaked, then blood streaked. Some of the pages have been burned off. The entries are mostly indecipherable.

Dear Diary,

I keep praying to Lord Torm to help me. To take this curse away from me. Why won’t he help me? I don’t want to do this anymore. Please make it stop. It won’t stop. It’s happening more and more. Mommy and Daddy had long removed anything that could catch fire in my room. But it still burns. It still hurts. It hurts. Mommy usually made the pain go away. But she’s not here. No one’s here. Do they hate me? Is that why-

Diary,

It hurts. I’m hiding under my bed. I’m scared to go out. A monster appeared. It was so big and scary. I tried to scream but I couldn’t make a sound. Only bubbles escaped my throat. It hurt me. There’s so much blood. I crawled under the bed and it couldn’t reach me. I kept trying to scream but I couldn’t. And then the monster disappeared. But I’m still scared to go out and see. My stomach hurts.  Everything hurts. I still can’t scream. I can’t make a sound. I…I’m getting sleepy. Maybe when I wake up, it will just be a nightmare.

*

“Seraphina?” There was a sound from outside the door. Did they stop being angry with her? “Seraphina, can you hear me?” Brother? It hurt. She couldn’t move. She felt too tired to move. Something was wrong. “I’m sorry we left you alone for so many days. There was an urgent meeting at the church that we couldn’t get out off. Did you have fun with Selise at least?”

Seraphina still didn’t say anything. They weren’t ignoring her on purpose? But why did they lock the door? And her big sister was here, why didn’t she come in and talk to her? But Selise never hid how much she didn’t like Seraphina.

“I know you’re upset but would you at least answer me?”

Seraphina’s voice was weak. It wasn’t bubbles anymore but she struggled to find her voice. “Hurts.”

“What hurts, little one?”

She blinked, it was so hard to think. “Hurts.” He brother was there. Her brother was talking to her. He didn’t hate her. “Help.”

“Seraphina, what’s wrong?” She heard the doorknob rattle before the door flew open, revealing her brother standing there, still in his armor. His eyes darted to the blood stained ground, before landing on her hiding under the bed. He ran towards her, his armor clanking noisily. “What happened?”

She whimpered then cried out in pain as her brother pulled her from under the bed. She gripped her stomach harder as tears rolled down her face.

“It’s ok. It’s ok.” He repeated soothingly. “We’ll find mother to heal you, alright?” He gathered her tightly in his arms. His eyes darted towards her stomach before his face turned pale, “Did Selise do this?”

“No…. M…Monster… I… did bad a…gain…” Her voice was trembling as she struggled to speak.

“Ok. It’s ok. We’ll find Mother. It won’t hurt anymore.” He left the room, moving quickly but careful enough not to jostle her wound further.

“Sc…scared….”

“I know. It’s ok. There’s nothing to be afraid off.”

She nodded weakly, “You’re…here.” She felt sleepy. She closed her eyes. Her brother was here. She was safe now.

“Seraphina, don’t close your eyes! Just keep talking to me.”

But Seraphina couldn’t keep her eyes open. She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep for a minute.

“Seraphina!” She could hear worry in her brother’s voice. Why was he worried? She was just sleepy. “Mother!”

“She went out for a while. What do you need, brother?” She recognized Selise’s voice.

“We asked you to watch her. Is this how you take care of her?” Her brother was angry. She didn’t want her brother to be angry. She was the one who was bad again.

“I didn’t…” Selise’s voice turned cold. “That brat made me sick the whole week. I couldn’t even get up of bed. She should have been grateful I used what little energy I had to make sure she didn’t starve.”

“You-”

“Sorry….didn’t…mean…hurt…” She couldn’t speak again. Was her magic acting up again? Why couldn’t she speak?

Her brother hushed her. “Can you heal her?”

“I couldn’t replenish my magic. I’ll get Leora.”

She felt herself being lowered closer to the ground, but her brother still clutched her tight. “You’re going to be ok, little one. You’re going to be fine.”

“Slee…py…”

“I know. Just a bit more. Leora will be here soon.”

“Bro…ther…so…rry…”

He sighed. “I know. I know none of this is you. I’ll find a way to end this curse. I swear.”

“Brother, what-” Big sister was here. “Put her on the ground.” Her voice was serious.

She was lowered onto the ground and the movement sent a jostle through her stomach. She cried out in pain and gripped her stomach harder.

“Let me see. Seraphina, move your hands. Let me see.” Leora pulled her hands away from her stomach. She froze and let out a word that Seraphina knew their mother wouldn’t approve. “What happened?”

“M…mon…ster… so…rry…”

Leora sighed but Seraphina could feel her hands over her stomach. ��Just relax. It’ll stop hurting in a bit.”

Seraphina could only nod weakly. Her eyes drooped close once more.

“Seraphina, don’t-“

“It’s alright, brother. Let her rest. I’m here. I won’t let her go.”

Seraphina’s head drooped to the side as she closed her eyes, exhaustion filling her. She could feel her brother’s hand around hers, gripping her tight.

*

Leora looked down at the wound again and shut her eyes tight. She took a breath and continued healing her sis… Seraphina.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”

“Look at her. Her skin is burnt. She was attacked. How did you not hear or notice? Did you not check up on her at all?” There was pure fury in her brother’s eyes.

Selise’s voice was quiet, “No. No I didn’t.”

“I knew you hated her but I should have realized…”

“No brother. I’m not that cruel. Whatever she did to me… Brother, it was bad. If I wasn’t a healer myself, I think it would have killed me. It took everything in me to send food to her room. I couldn’t even lift my head out of bed.”

Leora was silent. She tried to focus on healing Seraphina’s insides. Whatever monster Seraphina summoned…

“How did the meeting go? What did the church say?”

“One year. They’re giving us one year to get Seraphina in control of her powers or to find a way to end the curse. Or…”

“And how many more people will she kill in a year?”

“That’s enough, Selise.”

“Brother, I’m serious. I may not be as trained as mother or sister but… I’ve never met an ailment I couldn’t heal. She’s a child. She summoned a lightning bolt, a spell that required a highly trained wizard to do, and killed that poor boy and his parents.”

“She didn’t mean any of that.”

“That’s the worst part. Because it means she has no control of her powers at all. And she’s only getting stronger. Look at what she’s done to herself. Giant rats we can handle, whatever did this, is dangerous.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re not her real sister.” Her brother hissed.

“How dare you? I treat this whole family like my own. This is the only family I know. How dare you say-”

“How else can you suggest such a thing?”

“Brother, Selise is right.” Leora said quietly, her eyes never leaving Seraphina’s gapping abdomen, her hands diligently working.

“If you really feel that way, then stop healing her. She will die if you do. Go on then.”

Leora removed her hands. Seraphina whimpered as the relief disappeared. Leora could only stare at her chest rising and falling labouredly and she knew it would only be a matter of time before… She couldn’t. Her hands went back to Seraphina’s abdomen, muttering another healing spell as she tried to keep her sister alive. Her sister. Fuck. She didn’t want to…

 Selise sighed, “Keeping her locked up is not going to be an option then.”

“Not locked up. But I’m sure I can convince her to stay inside. We don’t have anymore guests. If we need to meet anyone, we meet them outside.”

“Do you really believe she can control her powers in a year?”

Her brother shook his head. “We just need to make sure she doesn’t kill anyone. Whatever else we can hide.”

“Brother…” Leora looked up at him.

“I won’t fight you if the whole family truly believes killing her is the best option.”

“It’s the right thing to do and you know it.”

“I do. As a Paladin of Torm, I do. But as a brother…”

“You’re getting too attached, brother.”

“Attached? Don’t act like this is some sort of pet that we adopted. This is our sister.”

“I know, brother. But our sister is now a rabid dog that must be put down!”

“Sister…” Came Selise’s quiet voice.

Leora turned and saw Seraphina’s eyes staring up at her in pain, tears trailing down her cheeks. “I didn’t… Seraphina, I didn’t mean…”

“W…would you…be happier…if I was gone?”

From the corner of her eye, Leora could see both Selise and her brother look away. But she couldn’t, she had to fix this. “It’s complicated. It’s not that we… It’s just… you…” And she couldn’t fix it. She couldn’t find the right words to say.

“It…it’s ok, big sis. Y…you don’t have to heal me.” Seraphina’s hand touched hers, trying to push her hands away but too weak to do so.

The betrayal and hurt in Seraphina’s eyes broke her heart and she…she…she couldn’t find the right words. Instead she quickly hummed a lullaby, placing a sleep spell on Seraphina. Seraphina’s eyes drooped close, faster than before. Leora placed a gentle hand on Seraphina’s face, “I’m sorry.” She took a breath and continued healing her. The look of acceptance in her sister’s eyes had shaken her. Her hands started to shake. She knew this was coming. From the day they realized how dangerous Seraphina truly was, they knew what they needed to do. She pushed away all feeling for her sister. She readied herself for that day. She reminded herself that she was a cursed monster, nothing more. But seeing that broken look in her sister’s eyes…

Leora let out a sob.

Selise’s arms were around her sister in an instant. “It’s ok. Sister, it’s ok.”

“No I have to focus on healing her. I have to…” And Leora casted another spell that calmed her emotions immediately. She took a shuddering breath, and focused back towards healing.

She felt her brother’s eyes on her before he finally said, “Is that how you-”

“Yes.” Leora said, calmly. “I knew everyone would be emotional about this. And I thought maybe one of us should make the logical decision. And then…it just got easier to not feel.”

“Thanks for sharing.” Her brother said bitterly.

“I wasn’t wrong, brother. As much as it would have pained me to say it, if we can’t find a cure, she will have to die. Whether by one of our hands, or if the other Paladins of Thorm have the mercy to take this from our hands. You can’t keep doting and being attached to her like this. I know you, brother. It would break you. Even if we can keep her locked away for the next 10 years and we can hide her lack of control, what happens after that? Are we going to lock her away until she’s an old woman? It’s going to happen sooner or later, and you need to accept it and keep away from her. If I have to lose my sister, I don’t want to lose my brother as well.”

Her brother closed his eyes and sighed, “I will try.” He looked down at his sleeping sister, “I don’t even know what to tell her when she wakes up.”   

Leora nodded. “When Mother gets back, she’ll just make her forget again. Seraphina won’t have to remember what we said. Let her live the next year in ignorance. She doesn’t need to know.”

Her brother sighed. “I’ll find a cure. I will do everything in my power to find a cure. I won’t give up like that.”

“Ok brother. However is easier for you to process this.” Leora said as she focused all her energy on saving her little sister.