#i’m spiralling oh my god

[ghosttotheparty]

realising i have health anxiety and it’s the fucking worst i feel like i’m doing to die

[cillixn]

[zaddyazula]

and piss poor reading comprehension strikes again!!!

[lunarrosette]

Had a scary thought: so if scary completely cuts ties with Willy (which seems decently likely based off of last ep) Willy will no longer have a reason not to kill/get rid of the kiddads (as far as I’m aware) because he would no longer care about what scary wants or cares abt and that terrifies me!!

[sggk]

I have been so, so, so responsible and careful not to run into him at all because i’m fully aware that it would be a very simple thing for him to change my mind. Like obviously after a year with him i am aware of that. I would fold for him so easily. And as long as i can stay fully away, i can stay as clearheaded as possible about everything & make some progress but SEE. I literally knew it. Even that small action - he waited & knew I would look up at him, and i know that smile and what it means for him and to me. & Its frustrating because what people don’t understand is that it doesn’t change anything ofc, but I know him and I know that he’s genuine. Like his issues, vast + deep as they may be, aren’t that. This break is so violent & ugly not just physically + mentally (rip lol) but emotionally. He explained to me over & over that he’s consciously deciding to make the practical logical choice in being w/ this person, & not the emotional one w/ me bc he’s learned by now that following his heart will only lead to pain + that he genuinely believes the stronger he feels abt someone, the more he can’t be with them yada yada. Literally saying to me I love you more than anyone, but this person makes practical sense - age wise, financially, etc - at this stage in my life, so i have to choose that & that he doesn’t believe the person you marry has to be the person you love & because he considers our relationship “deeper and more important than a dating relationship” and that it transcends that he needs me to stay in his life. WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A NORMAL VIEWPOINT OR A FAIR THING TO ASK OF SOMEONE but part of the difficulty has always been that this was his maintained consistent stance to the very last day, and i’m the one who chose + said that i unequivocally cannot live like that and it isn’t fair to ask me to . So i have to live with the fact that it was my choice to be out of his life. And that it hurts him for me to bring it legal because i know what he genuinely feels is his truth, as cruel + unfair + insane as it is. And i have to live w all of that every day

SO DONT WAIT FOR ME TO SMILE AT ME ON THE SIDEWALK AND PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART JUST SO I KNOW THAT YOUR STANCE HASNT CHANGED AND MAKE MY LIFE MORE DIFFICULT !

[kimtaegis]

What do you mean by "I keep prioritising the less important things"? 😕

e.g. running a blog is significantly less important to my future than writing my stupid thesis right now and doing my jobs 🥲 yet here I am constantly delaying or skipping work to make gifs on time, it’s not good. I just can’t seem to regulate this sense of obligation? I don’t know if it’s the right word for what I mean I’m sorry

[n3ptun3e]

there’s this sakura x shisui super famous fic but i’m so fucking scared to read bc i know i’m going to hyperfixate in it and my life will be over, also it looks sad which also it’s going to contribute to make my life be over for me but but it looks so good and there’s so many positive comments about it and i’m starving for shisui content but it looks sad and i’m going to hyperfixate in it and then-

[stonesandswords]

.

[wanderingpages]

Just found out my bf distracts our kid w the cat toys when it’s time for a diaper change

[gretavangelica]

I-

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

An old lady got stabbed on the train in my city and now I’m spiralling lmaoooo

[bumpscosity]

Just realized I can make fandragons based on theme park rides lord help me and my vaulted gems

[szczylpierdolony]

life is falling through my fingers more that usually

[brainrotdotorg]

The farmer’s son is a smart boy, very studious, has big dreams of getting into politics one day and always seems to have his nose in a book the size of his head. Though he’s got a good work ethic, his mother thinks it needs to be put to the test in a way he’ll understand— all of his big talk about generating plasma falls on the deaf ears of a farmer who knows that the true way to revolution is through toil.

When his big, grand dreams about liberation drive him to want something greater than working as a farmhand, his mother brings on a new project— a temperamental steer, rescued from inhumane living conditions, with a penchant for violence and an unrelenting stubbornness. The farmhand is tasked with the care and keeping of the cattle, and though the two get off to a rocky start, the man treats the steer with the first show of humanity he’s ever experienced— giving him his abuela’s old glasses, allowing him to see clearly for the first time in his life.

Somehow, the young man is able to tame the bull, who listens intently as he reads him theory, parrots his speech; the two eventually grow to have a bond. It is anyones guess whether this relationship, unseen before in history, will succeed— with a creature who is finally trusted to learn, and a man who is only beginning to experience the world in anything but theory.

[bravevolunteer]

.... no i refuse to be normal actually i'm sitting here thinking about how michael means "gift from god" ... "he who resembles god" ... paired with william's, uh, Whole Thing....... the name william which means "resolute protector" the man who was supposed to protect and love you and IS obsessed with putting your family back together and keeping you there despite resentment passing that name down but you take that role and tear down his empire with it in the name of protecting his victims. "who is like god" you are forever tied to the man who thinks he is is a god who holds the lives of everyone in his hands you CANNOT ESCAPE your resemblance to him or the fact that you were something good to him until you were defective but you take his so-called means of protection and set fire to them to truly set everything free-

[roguelov]

I’m still thinking about Midnight Mass, and the reason why?

Father Paul is 6’4