#i’ve been so tired lately I wanna draw more but all I can do are shitposts

[harveylikestoart]

Cheese Nightmare

[cherrysnax]

not to SYS! on main but like comics Miguel reads just like Robyn and older leo to me it’s soooo weird

[tiktaalic]

catching fire dash simulator

finnicksgirl Follow

my streams have been cutting all season omfg what is going on

caps4finnick Follow

cinnagirl3000 Follow

anybody heard from cinna lately?

plutarcheology Follow

Plutarch Heavensbee circa 2282

revolutionarykatniss

As if it’s not ENOUGH that yall wanna fuck the most morally bankrupt man alive who is more than complicit because he gets paid to live in luxury to ORCHESTRATE the deaths of innocents so that they’re a spectacle and don’t have the option to die even semi peacefully. as if that’s not enough. You wanna fuck him when he’s ugly?

caesarflickerwoman Follow

anyone else still thinking about how caesar and peeta were kinda ..

czrflckmn

Aren’t you the one who had the week long meltdown about peeta being overfamiliar with him

caesarflickerwoman

Well you see I’m gay and a man now

theeclove Follow

already tired of this fucking season of everlark -_- idgaf about the fucking fog

siblingvictors

DISTRICT ONE GONNA SEND THEM A CANCELLATION NOTICE!! #CASHMEREGLOSS4EVER

czrflkmn Follow

everyone looooooves to act like NOTABLE cishet peeta is so gay w caesar as if his gay cohost isn't right there.... slaying in a wig..... sending yearning glances caesar's way right before the camera cuts......

johannadykeson Follow

tbh she’s got the WORST taste in allies idek why i continue to stan. girl MAGS?

#my girl going to get slorn :/

katnissgirlsmakedo

She is choosing with her HEART she chose to save peeta in the games REMEMBERRRRRRRR she’s literally a lovergirl to the core

#lovecore #heartcore #truelove

lucygraydotcom Follow

Caesar flickerman kidn if a laughing gnome. Reblog

finnickforever Follow

I’ve supported finnick through a lot and defended them and I’ve always been proud they're from my district but honestly they went way too far by doing the salute during the interview. I can only hope that they just got caught up in the moment with everyone else doing it and obviously it’s a stressful situation but I don’t think I can continue endorsing them. I’ll be changing my url this week.

divorceekatniss Follow

hey guys i know times are tough for everyone and the capital has really cracked down but my mutual @divorceepeeta got flogged the other day and could really use some help. v3nmo here. anything helps #signalboost #mockingjay

disabledmags Follow

Tbh the baby is the saddest thing I've ever heard </3

peetaspride

Another citizen falling for capital propaganda. It's so glaringly apparent that this is made up to draw in views. The tributes undergo extensive medical examination prior to the games. They would NEVER let a pregnant woman compete.

disabledmags

As if killing children has ever stopped them before?

#We all saw him fall to protect her stomach before they even started the victory tour #Is it that ridiculous to believe two newlyweds fresh out of a life or death situation would celebrate a little carelessly?

peetaspride

If you think even the marriage is real you're stupider than I thought. Peeta spends every interview begging us to see his truth. The capital is shamelessly silencing him and "the baby" is a distraction.

peetasbabymama Follow

URL CHANGE!! faggotpeeta->peetasbabymama

cupcakeeverlark

this isnt funny. peeta's a real person with real feelings. it will never be funny to call someone a f***** as a joke. how would you feel if my url was f*****peetasbabymama?

peetasbabymama

ok

district420

isnt cupcakeeverlark literally prez snow's 12 yr old granddaughter lol

tendinghiswounds

OOMF IS 12???????????

everlarklovechild

the age is the problem here?

marriedeverlark Follow

Canon url 🎉🎊💅😁🥰♥️

beeteemp3 Follow

New content of my favorite tribute 😁😁😁

3ffietrinket

Girl there’s a 96% chance they die ?

peenick Follow

getting reports from the presidential banquet that Peeta looks gay as fuck

3v3rlark Follow

ik peeniss has been flagging w the rehearsed speeches but did anyone else see the way they looked at each other in the censored district 11 speech

rues-song

you’re STUPID she’s a capital pawn AND i fucked your mom while you were busy looking for illegal streams

senecacraneofficial Follow

rip seneca you were so babygirl </3

plutarchbaby69

so now you think we can’t fuck old men?

#this fandom is so ageist #this is prob what I get for blogging about thg tbh since # it’s literally about kids. Some of you ppl need to grow up

[iridescentparkers]

vanilla palm trees → three - late night talking

vanilla palm trees → three - late night talking

summary ⇢ it’s been years, he should get over it, right? but, peter just can’t. he looks up, he sees her. he goes to bed, he dreams of her. he wakes up, he can smell her. he goes out one night and he sees…her. no, not gwen but his ticket to stop moping around on the anniversary of her death. what is meant to be one quick night of putting sadness on the back burner, is now a blossoming new love that feels all too perfect for peter. was this new woman in his life meant to be? or was this just another set of poorly dealt cards that would leave him walking away empty handed. all or nothing, right? ↝ college!au ↝ one night stand gone wrong trope | masterlist

parings ⇢ tasm!peter parker x female reader

warnings ⇢ alcohol use and sexual themes

a/n ⇢ THANKS FOR 500 AAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAH LFG! love y'all. answer my poll if you can, i wanna write something new. also this one is kinda short!

HE WATCHED as his windows clouded with condensation and fog, making his New York City apartment a bit dreary. Lighting the match on his old gas station matchbox, Peter saw Y/N’s tired reflection stare back at him in the window. 

“You look exhausted,” he remarked as he lit candles around the room. “You should get some sleep. Take my bed.  I’ll sleep out here.” 

“I’m fine,” she remarked, followed by a stifled yawn. “Don’t worry about me. I just hope nothing too bad happened to your circuit.” 

“It’s all good,” he assured. “My roommate texted and said the powers' out on the entire block.” 

 He saw her shiver under her blanket, rubbing her hands quickly back and forth, “If the hand warmers aren’t working, there is always a beer.” 

“I know we aren’t that far in age, but I cannot drink like I used to in college,” she informed, pulling her blanket close to her body. 

He laughed, grabbing a blanket nearby, moving to his couch, and opening one of the beers on the table, “We were both barely drunk.” 

“I was barely tipsy, but my tolerance is still not as good as it used to be. I went to USC. The parties here are tame compared to the LA lifestyle.” 

He lifted the bottle to his lips as she spoke, Y/N's eyes watching his hands. “I’ll take one.” 

“You sure, don’t feel pressured-

“I don’t, I promise." She began. "You already have me in three layers of your clothes. If this isn’t working, what else will.” She stated. 

“You miss it?”

“What? LA?” She asked, and he nodded. 

“Sometimes. I grew up here though. I left to get a drastic change of scenery.” She mentioned, watching him as he took a swig of his drink. 

“What part?”

“Manhattan. My parents owned a gallery for years, both art curators, and when they need me to, my brother and I plan to run the whole thing.” 

“Which one?”

“My Mom’s family gallery, we’ve had it for years.” 

"There is more than one?"

"A couple here and there. That's the biggest one." 

“What’s the name ?”

She hesitated, glancing around his apartment before meeting his eyes again, “The Trenton.” 

That was his favorite gallery, the curations changing every month with local artists that people come from all over the world to see. Peter spat out his beer, the words making him choke, “Holy shit-”

She pressed her lips firmly together, pushing her hair away from her face, “Sorry.”

Peter had apologized. Y/N waved a gentle hand, “You’re not the first.” 

“That’s my favorite gallery,” he lit up, drinking more of his beer. 

She smiled, her leg drawing closer to his. “I should take you some time.”

“I’d love that.”  

Y/N shrugged her shoulders as she sipped her beer, leaning back further on the couch. Peter mirrored the position, placing his body even closer to Y/N, “What do your parents do?”

“My Aunt and Uncle raised me,” he informed. “My Aunt May runs a non-profit and my uncle passed years ago, a mechanic.” 

“Peter, I’m so sorry,” she stated, placing a gentle hand on his thigh, rubbing her thumb along his kneecap. 

“It was all a while ago. I’ve been healing for years.”  He smiled, Y/N removing her hand from his leg. The ghosts of her gentle hand lingered and he slowly looked down and back up at Y/N as she took another sip of her drink. Peter watched as Y/N moved her lips to the bottle, swiping her thumb along her bottom lip. He looked back up at her eyes, watching as they quickly jolted back and forth. She leaned into him, kissing him hard. After placing her beer aside, him doing the same, she crawled into his lap. She grinded onto him, Peter grabbing her ass as she wrapped her arms around him. She pulled from him, narrowing her eyes at Peter.

“It’s almost 3, and I’m feeling warm,” she whispered, getting out of his lap. “I’m going to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Take my bed.”

She quickly ran to Peter’s room, letting the door crack behind her. Peter followed her down the hallway, slowly peering inside of his room. He watched as she pulled back his neatly made sheets, folding them forward as she got under the covers. He stepped closer inside, veering towards the edge of her bed. 

“If you need anything Y/N, let me know.”

She shifted to sit on her knees, eyeing Peter in his stance. Ending the space between them, she crawled closer, grabbing his hand as he stood before her. “Stay with me.”

She was glowing, the same way as she did in the bar, even like this. There was something so angelic about her touch, hell her entire being. He wanted nothing more than to fall into her and see all of her, but he couldn’t. 

“Please.” She asked, placing a warm hand under his shirt, and moving her fingers along his abdomen. 

“Please.”

She put her other hand along his cheek, her face almost touching his. “Okay.”

He nodded, looking down at her lips. She pressed her lips on his gently, slowly pushing herself further into him. Peter broke the kiss stating, “We shouldn’t, I’m not that intoxicated.”

“I’m not either, I swear.” She assured, kissing along his neck. 

“Still, just to be safe.”

He grabbed her hand, holding it to his chest before moving her to one side of his bed. Lying down, he moved her hand around his torso, allowing her to tuck her head into his neck. 

“Peter?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you blow out all of those candles?”

In the morning, Peter awoke before Y/N, his body now to her backside. The apartment was still chilly but it felt amazing. The warmness between them was so natural and comforting that it left Peter not wanting to let go. 

“Good morning.” 

With her eyes closed, Y/N greeted Peter, her words still mumbled with sleep. 

“Morning,” he greeted back, kissing the back of her neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Warm,” she smiled, running her hand along Peter’s arm. She turned over, her face about an inch from Peter’s to place a lazy kiss on his lips. She drew her hands up and down his back as he gripped the side of her face. Her tongue moved lazily in his mouth, and his response muffled in moans of pleasure. 

“Woah there bossman!” A voice yelled,  “You’re breaking roommate rules It's 10 AM.”

The two broke apart and Peter jolted from his lying position, “Shit.”

“Who’s that?” Y/N asked, sitting up.

“My roommate.”

“Alcohol, candles, blankets, pillows,” Harry noted, his voice growing closer to Peter’s door. “Parker! I’m so proud of you!”

“Parker? Who’s Parker?”

“It’s my last name,” He hurried, getting out of bed. “Listen I-”

With his hand over his eyeballs, he walked up to Peter’s door, “Now I’m not coming in, but I would just like to say, this is a monumental event that will go down in Osborne and Parker history.”

“After years, Parker’s got his groove back!"

“Harry!”

[ex-mortis-evie]

So I’ve got a fun game we could play, dear. How about it?

If you win, I’ll tell you a deep secret.

Though if I win, you have to tell me one of yours too.

Deal?

Sweet.

Simple game then, let’s do a…staring contest.

Oh, how would I do that through text?

Easy, tiger.

You can imagine my eyes already.

I know you’ve been thinking about them lately anyways.

That emerald green shine.

How they bask in the light.

And how they draw your entire world.

Or so I’ve been told.

Those eyes.

Pretty, right?

I doubt you’ll mind staring into them for a little contest, right?

Glad to hear it, tiger.

Because as you imagine my eyes right there in front of you, it’s just so easy to stare into their emerald void.

After all, that’s the name of the game.

You wanna win, so you keep staring.

Though, there’s also that deep part of you.

The deep part that wants to lose.

And it wants to keep staring, too.

So it’s just so easy to stare, since both sides of you want to.

You may find yourself getting a bit tired staring, and that’s perfectly alright, sweetie.

A blink or two wouldn’t hurt.

Don’t worry, I won’t notice it if you slip up for just a second.

After all, you wanna win, right?

I knew you’d still have some fight, tiger.

Just keep staring and try not to blink too much.

Don’t wanna give yourself away, right?

Oh, what do I mean by that?

Just that you’re starting to slip for me.

Each blink’s bringing you deeper into that sleepy lil’ state you love so much.

It’s alright if you just wanna slip, sweetie.

I won’t notice if you blink a few more times.

I won’t notice if your eyes flutter and roll a bit.

I won’t notice you slipping for me.

You won’t lose if you do, you’ll just feel so much better.

After all, you’ll still have those eyes locked right in mine, right tiger?

So then, we shouldn’t have a problem.

Besides, you’re already so deeply trapped in this loop.

Between keeping those eyes open and letting them flutter for me.

It makes you quite adorable, if you ask me.

Wanting to fight it off yet wanting so very deeply to submit.

The best part is that I’ve already won, sweetie.

No, I don’t mean because you blinked.

I mean because I already know your deep secret.

I know what you want.

What you need.

And that’s to drop for me and go so very deep.

Right, sweetie?

That’s it, maybe you should just drop for me.

Maybe it would feel better to lose than to win.

After all, I already know your secret.

No need to keep fighting me off, tiger.

Just drop and let those eyes flutter for me.

I wanna see them rolling back and going so deep for me.

See how good it feels when you lose?

Maybe we should play another game…

[wonderiing-wanderiing]

love is a kaleidoscope - e. williams

Tags: Reader has no specified gender, angsty question mark, rocky relationship, some use of profanity (please take this lightly. like grain of salt lightly.), ellie is kind of ooc i think, set somewhat in the canon typical universe, mentions(?) of mental health struggles

A/N: I was trying to write another fic but I couldn’t do it. I suck at multitasking buuuuut, chappell roan inspired fic! Kaleidoscope is honestly a banger so everyone should stream when they read this! (I doubt anyone will do this but trust me! It’s for ambiance.)

Ellie hadn’t been herself lately. Going out early and coming back late, quieter, moping around, anxious, paranoid. Usually you’d been able to get her out of her moods with some attention but it seemed as if she’d been dead set on staying in this one. It didn’t matter what you tried — nothing worked.

“Ellie, I just wanna help you.” You spoke softly as you approached her drawing desk. “You’re not yourself lately.” You felt sorry for her, but she seemed to hate that. Since the day of Joel’s death and the meeting in Santa Barbara with Abby, everything had changed; understandably so. But you wanted to be there for her.

She was scared to let people in. She didn’t know what to say or when it would ever be safe again. Seeing how much you cared, she had harbored some resentment towards your persistence. She never understood how someone could be so interested in bettering someone who’d obviously been going through something.

It was hard to say, but sometimes she wants silence. She doesn’t wanna be reminded of how she needs to get out more or how much you’d wanna make her feel better by doing things you’d done before the outbreak. Truthfully? To her, it could never be the same — not without Joel. She lost a part of herself. “Ellie. Ellie, please look at me.”

She spares a glance in your direction for a moment. “If you really wanna go, I’ll never make you stay. Seriously. I want what’s best for you— for us, this relationship. If you need to go your own way, so be it.”

The relationship you had with Ellie had always been somewhat rocky. After she initially left to find Abby, the revenge took over her mind and made for a new and ugly personality. It was the same thing. Revenge. Revenge. Revenge. It was like a curse. One that seems to linger no matter how many times you discourage it from coming back. Ellie seemed to have her mind set on killing that woman Abby. That’s probably what had done it for her.

“I’ll totally understand if we need to be apart. I truly do. It’ll just.. take some time before we could even be friends again or something.” You shrug. “But why? Why would it be weird to go back to the way we’d already been?” Ellie finally speaks, her voice raw and hoarse. “Dealing with this sorta thing is hard. I think I’d need some time before I decide we can be friends again. I’d still look at you and say, yknow, you’re my girlfriend; but in reality we’re.. exes.”

Ellie understands, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. In her eyes, love was beautiful and blissful yet still confusing. How it worked? We’ll never know. Nobody does. Once you fall into it, you fall hard, and it feels like a punch in the gut once you realize that this isn’t forever.

Even with all the beauties of love, being inlove and being loved, she was afraid to let it in. She was always kinda closed off-ish when it came to herself.

“Things like this are.. big, and wild and confusing, I know. Emotions are big. Love is a big one,” You began speaking, yet gently and slowly. “But sometimes, it’s necessary to just.. take some time away from it, you know?” Ellie nods along with what you were saying.

“Maybe we do need a little break from eachother. To think about if we can keep going with this. All I can think right now is how fucking tired I am, and how I want this to work, but I don’t know how.” Ellie sighs. “I’ve been trying to be better for you but it feels impossible. I don’t know what to even do anymore,” Her hands tangle in her short hair as she thinks about what she’d say next.

“I love you a lot. I really do. But we need to take some time away from eachother.” Ellie says, holding your hands. It stings, but you knew this was coming. It was like bracing yourself before a punch you knew was coming to you.

“Yeah. I think so too.” You mumble back. You look at Ellie, she looks at you. She stands up to embrace you and you just let the tears you kept bottled up out while she rubs your back.

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches! Before I begin, I wanted to say I LOVED your fragile reader story! And I can’t stop rereading everything you write about dottores beloved because it makes me feel so fluffy inside🥹🥹. Though I was expecting a sad ending it still made me cry like a baby and now I wanna fight but also hug you for how freaking talented you are!!! I swear I wish I could write as amazing as you do!

Now back to business, (ANGST) I had this random thought of fragile reader going blind due to their illness. Like it started slowly, so reader would randomly bump into things or trip causing Zandik or the clones to lightly scold them for being so clumsy but also make sure they’re okay. Or struggling to read one of the stories to little zandy due to how strangly blurry the words were.

And once one of the clones who was assigned to check their health, quickly noticed the deteriorating sign of the readers sight. This of course led to Zandik doing multiple tests and scans, coming to conclusion this was part of the disease fragile reader has. Preforming eye surgery on his beloved wasn’t an option either due to how frail their body was and it would cause far too much strain, therefore deemed too risky.

This would of course lead to fragile reader going fully blind and more in an upset state. Now officially no longer able to see those beautiful red eyes of his, or marvel at his creations.

Dottore however, despite being disappointed by this new obstacle, he doesn’t give up finding a cure. Going the extra mile to have fragile reader escorted around the halls of the lab by one of the clones and having them memorize the place so they don’t bump into walls or randomly end up in dangerous rooms. They would even round some of the edges of tables and desks so fragile ready couldn’t hurt themselves by bumping into it and ensuring all dangerous objects were out of the walk way. Though fragile reader wouldn’t be able to go in the lab anymore due to so many sharp objects and tripping hazards they always find themselves somehow inside leading to the clones panic and escorting them back to their room.

I like to imagine zandy too holding readers hand while escorting them around or even foxttore tugging on reader’s leg and leading them back after getting lost.

Dottore or one of the clones would have reader place their hands on his face allowing them to feel every scar and crevice, and brushing their fingers against his fluffy hair. He would even take fragile readers hand and place it over one of his creations (the safer ones), allowing them to figure out what it is.

Anyways have a wonderful year and thank you so much for the Dottore thoughts I’ve been inhaling them in as of it were oxygen. 💝💝

AHHH!! ❤️❤️ Thank you so so much!! I'm really happy you enjoy my Dottore hehe the goal is to make you feel very very fluffy!! >:) Here's my obligatory *hugs you* ofc ewjfbww I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY BUT PLEASE. I JUST LOOKED AT YOUR ART AND IT'S SO DELICIOUS I'M GONNA EAT IT?? I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THAT DOTTORE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING?!?! (BUT REALLY YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME FOR THE DOTTORE THOUGHTS!!)

But omg this whole brainrot is just... 💔 It's just one of those things you'd never thought would happen to you. Your illness had already taken so much from you, that you thought it couldn't steal anything else... you were wrong of course, fate had never been kind to you. You didn't pay much attention to the developing blurs or black spots, just chalking it up to being tired or whatever. However, the segments are extremely attentive to your sudden changes and don't let anything slip by them. Although this time it is already too late. There is nothing that can be done that wouldn't hurt you even more, and so you lose your visual window to the world. And though the segments and Dottore try to comfort you, what can they say that could make it better? Nothing would ever make up for losing such a crucial part of your life. They can only hold you as you cry about how scared you are to lose them. And how you want to wake up every day to them but now a part of that is taken away, no longer being able to see their beautiful faces.

In the beginning, without your sight, you have the need to either consistently hear Dottore's voice or hold a part of his body to feel reassured, otherwise, you feel terrified and alone. You don't want to be by yourself, you end up falling asleep on a segment or Dottore every night. It's very hard for you to navigate but thankfully your lovers are very patient and understanding. You miss going into the lab and bothering them with the experiments but at the least, you can listen to their voices. Their voices become much more special to you after losing your vision. You really start to notice how each of them has different tones, pitches, inflections... and how these things can change. Since you can't read their expressions or body language anymore. You love each of their voices immensely. And their warmth too... it makes you feel reassured. (They make sure to warm their hands just for you.) Unfortunately, the places you can walk around to are a lot more limited due to the fact that Dottore's lab in general is a whole safety hazard. Good thing is that Zandy is always willing to help,, I imagine he's always the one to read to you now... maybe you can't see his drawings anymore but he always takes your hand and places it over them... excitedly telling you about his childish drawings that you love so much!! Giggles the Puffttores as well... dozens of them crawling up your leg to stop you... they and Foxttore will defend you to the DEATH.

You definitely become a lot more touchy, and the clones won't stop you from touching them all over if that will make you feel better. Aww you guessing his new inventions 🥹 It would totally become a guessing game and he'd refuse to give you any hints! And even though you may not be able to see his beauty anymore, you vow to never forget the picture of him in your head.

[psychedelic-ink]

Congratulations on 4.5k! that's amazing and very well deserved! I would love a drabble with "I can't pretend anymore" with Dieter, because, ya know, pretends for a living and all that - all-the-way-down-here

thank you so much, love 💜 I really loved writing this, I hope you enjoy!

𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐬

**gif by the amazing @pedrorascal ♡♡

pairing: dieter bravo x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort-ish, fluff, romance, friends to lovers

word count: 936

summary: Dieter enjoys his life, but he would enjoy it so much more if you were a part of it.

warnings: alcohol consumption, established friendship

𝑺𝑰𝑳'𝑺 4.5𝑲 𝑭𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑹 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑰 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵𝑻 (open)

Dieter enjoys the fun he has. He’s not going to lie and act like he’s above it all. He enjoys the chaos that pursues unrelated to him, likes the bodies moving and crowding one another as loud music blares from the speakers. He feels two arms snake up his shoulders and around his neck. Looking down he spots manicured, pastel purple nails. A pleasurable tingle rolls up his spine when those same nails gently bite into his chest. 

“Come join us, Dieter,” Lyra whispers into his ear. “I have a friend with me, I’ve been telling them all about you,” 

His cock twitches at the thought and he’s about to get up, that is until he spots you. You’re mingling, your clothes more than modest compared to the rest but you still seem you belong. You smile and laugh and he recognizes the person across from you as being a model. Someone he never talked to before but recognized from magazine covers. He looks up to Lyra who’s looking down at him with expectant eyes. 

“Sorry but I spot a friend. Maybe next time,” 

“Your friend can join,” she purrs. 

Dieter slowly rises from the couch, he touches the underside of Lyra’s chin and forces her gaze up with a smile. “Next time, sweetheart. Promise.” 

She sighs and smiles before moving away. 

Now that Lyra is out of the way, Dieter makes his way to you. You meet his gaze when he’s halfway there, your eyebrows lifting with surprise. He notices a smile tugging at your lips and he finds himself starting to smile as well. 

“Dieter!” you exclaim, throwing your arms around his shoulders. “How are you?” 

His hand moves to your waist on instinct, slightly moving lower when you don’t release him. He buries his face in your neck and takes a whiff of your smell; strawberries. 

You introduce him to your model friend, and he learns that her name is Jessica. A polite, albeit slightly forced, conversation proceeds. Dieter finds himself growing impatient, yet what for he’s not sure. Your one arm slides to his waist, holding him close. He’s surprised at how comforting it is. You’re one of those rare people who doesn’t want him to change or ask for anything more of him. 

And that fact alone makes him feel shitty for wanting more from you. 

It’s not hard acting like he doesn’t crave something more intimate, but it is tiring. It feels as if he’s working around the clock, the acting never stops. 

You must’ve noticed his recline from the conversation because you squeeze his hip, drawing his attention back to you. 

“Do you want to get some fresh air?” you ask, your gaze slightly clouded from the alcohol but still worried. When he nods, you turn to Jessica with an apologetic smile. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” 

Jessica nods and waves them off, already starting to speak with someone else before the two are even out of the door. 

The cool night air chills his warm skin. Dieter closes his eyes briefly, focusing on the way the wind caresses his skin. It feels nice. 

“Wanna go get something to eat?” you say, crossing your arm with his. “I’m starving. That party had nothing to eat,” 

“There were chips—” 

“Yeah, chips ain’t enough to soak up all I drank tonight.” you rub your stomach, kicking the pavement. “I feel sick,” 

“Why did you drink so much anyway?” 

“I don’t know,” you say with a small shrug. “I guess I was feeling a bit tense lately. I thought that if I got a bit loose I would feel better, but my calculations were wrong,” 

Dieter lets out a low chuckle, “Don’t worry. We’ll get some food in you and you’ll be good as new.” 

Silence follows, the only noise being your shoes hitting the pavement. Dieter thinks how nice it would be to just lean in and kiss you. He bets he could taste the gin still coating your tongue. 

He’s torn away from his thoughts when you tighten your arm around his. 

“Tell me how you’ve been feeling. You didn’t look so good in there,” 

“I—” he honestly has no idea how to reply to that. He shakes his head. “I don’t know,” 

“Come on, you can tell me anything,” 

“I can’t pretend anymore.” 

You suddenly stop and give him a confused glance, you tilt your head, which he finds incredibly endearing. “What do you mean?” 

“I just— Look, I really enjoy what we have, but I just can’t pretend I don’t want something more. You make me feel good about myself. You make me want to be a better version of myself and every time I see you my heart feels like it might combust.” 

A gust of wind blows. You’re staring at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. His heart aches at the sight, maybe he misread everything from start to finish, it wouldn’t be the first time. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, stealing his arm back. “I just really couldn’t hold it back anymore. It was getting exhausting.” 

He attempts to move away but before you can he feels your fingers pressing into the hallows of his cheeks, you pull him close, your lips finding his under the yellow glow of the street lamps. You kiss him hungrily, and just as he suspected he testes the gin on your tongue. 

You’re the one to break the kiss, panting and lips kiss-swollen. He’s about to dive back in before you press your palm into his chest. 

“Food first,” 

He grins from ear to ear, “Of course.” 

[weird-dere-writes]

okay so like, of course, we're currently coming to the end of the first semester of our final year and Byakkun and I are both starting to become swamped with end-of-term papers, projects etc and preparations for the next semester.

we're seeing each other a little less then normal but still manage to check in via texts and brief moments on campus/the odd date. But it's at times like this that I tend to need to draw on other's support more, to avoid overthinking etc.

I know Byakkun is busy so I try not to bother him more than usual (even though he's of the 'it's unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone' type beat)

and one time when you and I are hanging out, I confess that I miss him and feel bad that work is so all-consuming but I don't want to be so demanding when we're at such a critical point

This song came on while I was writing this response and I think it fits the vibes so well 🥹

Oh my poor, tired, love 🥺.

When you tell me how you’re feeling, I immediately go to hug you close. My hold is gentle, but is still firm enough to let you know I’m here.

I’ve noticed as of late how preoccupied you’ve been. Not necessarily distant, but just swamped.

Admittedly, I had been a little worried about you. Every time i checked on you, you seemed to be working on things. I had wondered if you were even getting any rest. I couldn’t wait for a rest period to come any faster for you, truly.

I feel the way you shiver in my arms, eyes beginning to shine with tears. I’m trying to reassure you with quiet murmurs.

“I’m sorry life is bringing you so much stress right now. Even more so, I feel bad it’s keeping you and your love apart. But I’m more than sure he misses you just as much as you miss him, if not more. I know you worry about being a bother, but I think you should tell him how you feel.”

I’m sure I didn’t know him to the extent you or Ichigo did, but I know Byakkun is considerate enough to do what he can for you regardless of the struggles along the way. I know that he would never see your presence as an intrusion. I try to remind you that you are not a burden adding to his workload. You are the love of his life. And that it’s already in his heart to wanna be there for you when you need him.

But he has to know you need him in order for him to be there :(((( <3.

Byakuya, similar to you has been working in over time. Not only on his grad work, but also for his little class he teaches, and for the tasks he does when working with the organization in charge of Ichigo’s internship. When the two guys work together, Ichigo takes note of how… frazzled Byakkkun has been. And he makes it a point to keep checking in with him to make sure he’s okay.

At some point, when Ichi and Byakkun get some downtime, Byakuya straight up tells Ichigo he feels like he is losing his mind hardly being able to see you amongst all this chaos. But he knows you have enough on your plate. That your academic crazies are probably going extra hard without trying to fit him in between constant study sessions, revisions, exams, meetings with professors.

And Ichigo tells him something similar to what I tell you. But still, thought Byakkun knows he’s right, his brain is so fried he feels like he doesn’t know how to go about rectifying this. So Ichigo tells him that he’s gonna help him figure it out. He grabs a piece of paper and a pen, gives it to Byakuya, asks for his schedule. When he’s in class, when he’s studying, when he’s working on his thesis, when he’s eating, everything. And once Ichi has this information he is texting me.

We begin to make plans to help y’all out, so you don’t have to think about anything. You can save all your energy to your academic pursuits and we can handle all the rest.

Essentially Ichi and I work together to schedule events in which y’all can spend time together simply vibing. Taking little tidbits from conversations wit you both and brainstorming ideas to fulfill those needs in a way that brings both your brains back down to earth.

You mention one day you wish you had something to warm you up as you chug water to keep yourself working diligently. The next day after you’re out of class for the day, I’m picking you up and dropping you off at a small lounge somewhere on campus. Inside awaits a cozy atmosphere with fairy lights, blankets, and your choice of coffee and hot cocoa. There’s a projector set up to watch whatever you please for the next few hours and Byakuya is already there waiting.

Byakuya murmurs to himself about getting some fresh air while scribbling down notes for something. Ichigo is texting me about places with nature you two can go to. Byakkun’s next day is packed, but the day after that is when Ichigo grabs Byakkun and drives him somewhere toward the edge of town. Waiting by a booth nearby where he’s dropped off it me and you.

Ichi and I paid for your fair to walk this trail filled with flowers, lush trees, a bridge overlooking a small pond with koi, zen gardens, and fresh fruit from stands at certain stopping points. Once you two are together and told what’s up I hop in the car with Ichi and leave y’all to it. We come to get you when you message us you’re ready to go.

Stuff like that :3.

Y’all have helped us so much, so we’re more than happy to help shape more self care and quality time with your partner into your hectic and almost impossible seeming schedule. We are also making sure y’all are getting your meals in and getting your rest and all the like. Until this hellish period calms down, we are here for you, and we hope we can help you both to be there more for each other without fear uwu.

I kith you 😘💋

[snezinnnngggg]

This is my secret Santa for @disasterman-snz I hope you like it! I’ve never seen the show, so this is set in a university AU. Happy holidays! @softsnzstuff (sorry, forgot to tag you too!)

Steve was sick with a terrible cold. The kind of cold that makes your nose tickle constantly, and plugs up your nose even while it runs. He’s just so tired and all he wants is to slide into bed and sleep. And sneeze. His nose has been irritated all day.

But he can’t. Because he promised Eddie that he’d come over, and he’s not going to cancel. It’s much too late to cancel anyways, and they haven’t seen each other for days. Their work and class schedules have been brutal this past week.

So Steve tiredly showers and changes his clothes and heads to his boyfriend’s apartment. Tissues are stuffed in his backpack, both the travel packs and a full box, but he’s hoping to hide his cold from Eddie as long as he can.

The walk over to Eddie’s place takes ten minutes which is normally not a problem. But today, the ten minutes are pure hell. It’s freezing cold, and even though Steve doubled up on jackets, he’s still cold. The biting wind makes his nose red and runny, which is not helping making him look healthy.

Eddie notices him shivering right away, greeting him at the door, and ushering him inside.

“Oh you poor thing, you’re freezing, come in!” Eddie exclaims, leading him to the couch where there’s already a pile of blankets.

There’s something underneath the blankets, but Steve doesn’t notice Eddie quickly grab it and shove it in his pocket. He’s too busy trying to hold back a sneeze. God, his nose is just so itchy!

Apparently his sniffling draws Eddie’s attention.

“Aw Stevie, is your nose running from the cold? Let me give you a tissue,” he says, grabbing on from the coffee table in front of them.

It’s a little weird that the box there and not in the bathroom, but Steve isn’t going to complain. He’s going to blame his sniffles on the cold as long as he can.

“Heh'nxgt!”

A stifled sneeze breaks through Steve’s defense. He sniffles and wipes his nose, hoping Eddie hasn’t noticed.

He has.

“It must be really cold out there,” Eddie remarks, watching him carefully. He looks like he’s going to say something else, but his eyes go hazy for a few moments and his body twitches awkwardly.

Steve is just about to ask what’s wrong when Eddie blurts out, “I need to use the bathroom real quick!” and rushes out of the room.

Weird. His boyfriend isn’t usually like this. But Steve can’t complain, because with Eddie out of the room, he’s free to let out his sneezes and blow his nose properly.

“hiih’CHIIEW! hh’yiCHHiew! Heh..heehh…HESCHEW!”

The triple comes out strong and messy. Steve groans and plucks several tissues from the box. He gives his nose a hearty blow, trying to get all the congestion out. Only after the first few tissues are spent does his realize that the blowing with make his nose even more red. Oh well. Maybe he’ll turn off the lights when they watch a movie.

He’s got it all planned out. Steve will suggest having a movie night, they’ll pick something, and Eddie will fall asleep halfway through. Then Steve can rest, and tomorrow, when he’s feeling better, they’ll really hang out.

It’s a perfect plan.

“Hey, wanna watch a movie?” Eddie asks as he walks back into the room. Great minds think alike and all that.

His nose is a little pink, Steve notes. Maybe he left the bathroom window open again and it’s cold in there. Eddie’s horribly allergic to the scent of cleaning supplies, so every time he cleans, he has to open as many windows as he can. And sometimes he forgets to close them in the evening.

“Cleaned the bathroom today?” he teases Eddie.

Eddie’s eyes widen slightly, and a panicked look crosses his face. It’s just a few moments, but it’s enough to be suspicious.

“Uh yeah,” Eddie says quickly, moving over to the TV so his back is to Steve, “so what movie do you want to watch?”

Steve shrugs. It doesn’t really matter what movie they watch as long as they can fall asleep. They scroll through Eddie’s Netflix, and Steve suggests the first movie that he thought would be quiet.

Honestly, Steve falls asleep barely ten minutes in. When he wakes up, he won’t be able to remember the title, or even what the movie was about. His cold has sapped all of his energy.

…

“HAHTshoo!”

“EEHSHHhhhhew!”

Steve sneezes himself awake. Then he squints in confusion. There were two sneezes, but he only sneezed once.

He shifts slightly on the couch, eyes widening when he sees Eddie hunched over with his hands steepled over his nose.

“You caught my cold!”

“I got you sick!”

They both speak at the same time with equally guilty looks on their faces.

Steve suddenly understands what’s happened. They’d been too busy hiding their colds from one another that they didn’t realize the other was sick.

“How long have you been sick?” Steve asks his boyfriend.

Eddie smiles sheepishly. “Only a few days.”

Steve hits him gently on the shoulder, scolding him, “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Eddie retorts. They both sniffle at the same time.

“Since we’re both sick, wanna stay here all day?” Steve suggests.

Eddie nods quickly, ducking his head down as he sneezes.

HISHIEW!

“Yep, we’re definitely staying here. You rest,” Steve says, reaching out to feel Eddie’s forehead. It’s not warm, which is promising.

Rubbing his nose, Eddie admits, “Tissues would be ndice.”

Steve nods. He wants to take care of his boyfriend. And he’s not feeling too awful yet, still at the early stages of his own cold.

NGXTT’chh!

A mostly stifled sneeze reminds Eddie that he’s sick too.

“How about I get the tissues and you get comfy here. You’re sick too,” Eddie says, feeling Steve’s forehead. He frowns, so it must be a little warm.

“Hurry back,” Steve says. It’s nearly a whine, and he would be embarrassed, but he really does feel horrible. Now that he no longer has to pretend, he’s really starting to feel sick.

Eddie smiles softly at him before leaving for the tissues. He smirks a little when comes back with two boxes, one for each of them.

They settle back in the couch, cuddled up under the blankets. Steve rests his head on Eddie’s chest, and they take a moment to just rest. The moment turns into several, and soon they’re both letting out loud, congested snores. They’ll inevitably get worse before getting better, but at least they can take care of each other.

[sapphirerubycreates]

Septictober Day 2: sharp objects

Part of my Missed Messages AU

Content warning: angst, implied self-harm, hatred, there's only one bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The kitchen light was on. Again.

And as Jackie dragged himself into the kitchen, he saw that she was awake. Again. This time, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, pen in hand, drawing on her wrist.

“What the hell are you doing up?” he accused her, his tiredness only adding to his annoyance.

“Can’t sleep.”

“Yeah.” He grabbed his cereal box from the cupboard and let it shut loudly. “I see that.” Couldn’t go to sleep down here with her like this, no matter how much he desperately wanted to ignore her and her warped reality.

“I asked: what are you doing down here?”

She stopped drawing, laying her hands in her lap. Looked down at the floor instead of at him. “Drawing.”

“You’re supposed to be an artist, right?” He opened his box and grabbed a fistful of food. “Wanna show me what you were drawing?”

“No.” She changed her position, curling her legs up and hugging her knees to get chest. Rested her chin on her legs, showing off her pouty lips and deject eyes.

“Look, I can’t sleep until you’re asleep. So just tell me what I can do to get you to sleep.”

Robin didn’t say a word. Barely moved. Didn’t even look around.

“I will put you under a sleep spell if that’s what it takes.”

“No.” She unwrapped herself and slowly pushed herself off the tile onto her feet. Stretched her arms out to catch her balance for the next minute. By the amount of time she stood still, trying to center herself, seemed she’d been sitting too long; too much time down here. And by the amount of ink on her arm, Jackie could confirm that fact.

She’d broken her promise to Marvin. Again.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” She seemed to be getting on steadier, straightened her back and actually looked at him.

“That drawing,” Jackie gestured to her arm, covered in traces of blood vessels and veins. “I’ve seen you do it multiple times now.”

First time he saw it was last year, maybe in late February. Helped him confirm that she was strange. A bunch of black ink on her wrist, looking like spider veins. And when Robin had left their house and he’d asked Marvin, he just said ‘That’s something she does.’ It’s not something normal people do. Had seen it a few more times since then, on either arm, always at least the wrist and maybe further down. And none of his other brothers questioned it. ‘Just something harmless she does.’ But that was never enough for Jackie. Normal girls draw hearts or flowers. Normal girls didn’t draw spider webbing or blood vessels. Normal people didn’t draw vessels all the way up their entire arm.

“Tell me why.”

“No reason,” she mumbled, looking down and starting to move. Barely picked her feet up off the ground as she shuffled. And when she went to walk by him, Jackie grabbed her arm. She stopped as soon as he made contact, but she wasn’t startled. They knew this dance of theirs.

“There’s a reason.”

“... You won’t care.”

“Trust me. I do. Because I’d much rather be passed out by now.”

As always, she debated on what to say. Thinking of how to test him. Cooking up a half-truth believable lie with a double meaning. Two tongued viper. “It’s harmless.”

“So are flowers.”

“I like anatomy though.”

“And I like motorcycles. Doesn’t mean they’re always on my brain.”

She sighed with exhaustion in her chest. “Just, lock me in my room tonight. Or all of tomorrow.”

“That’s not answering my question.”

“Because you don’t want the answer.” Robin wasn’t arguing right now. Her limbs and posture proved that she was on the brink of sleep too. Maybe she thought she was being truthful. They were getting a rhythm now.

“I need to know. No matter how stupid it is.”

Eventually, she looked at him, eyes squinting against the light. “It’s not a sharp object.”

“So what, do I have to add a lock to the knife drawer now?” He was tired of this bullshit.

“No.” She looked down at her wrist, then to his chest. “Maybe.”

And now, Jackie was feeling the sleep flush from his brain. “Do I need to lock the knife drawer?”

“No.” She gave with the same lack of enthusiasm. “I Always carry a pen around.” She didn’t smile at her joke. And considering how tattooed her arms were...

“Come on. You’re going to bed.” Jackie turned off the kitchen light and started toting her towards the stairs in the dark.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Yeah, well, this time, I’m sleeping with you.” Didn’t mean for it to sound like that but they both knew the real meaning. “You’re sleeping tonight whether you like it or not because you are not going to keep me awake, are you?”

“No,” she replied meekly.

As they climbed the stairs, Jackie made the choice to use her room, so at least he didn’t taint his own private space. Even if it meant someone discovered them.

“You have any sharp objects in your stuff?” Jackie whispered, now remembering that he kept knives in his room. Yeah, good choice not going there.

“Pocket knife.... Scissors... They’re dull though.” It wasn’t a fast answer, but there also wasn’t much thought gone into her answer. “They’re harmless.” Jackie was gonna develop a complex with her and that word.

Once they were at the room she was occupying, he let her go. “I’ll be right back. Don’t. Do. Anything. Seriously.” No matter how much he emphasized it, she probably wouldn’t view it as a threat. Then again, what would he do if she did?

He changed quickly out of his gear and into some light clothes. It wasn’t what he wanted to sleep in, but he wasn’t going shirtless with her.

Back in Henrik’s room, she was already on the bed, situated near the edge. Well, at least she gave him some sleeping space.

Jackie slotted into the area beside her, barely staying on the bed. Which left him only one recourse: cuddle up to cut the space between them. And unfortunately, he ending up having to wrap an arm around her to make himself fit better and actually get comfortable. She wasn’t going to go anywhere tonight, not under his watch.

“This means nothing. You got that?” he whispered, trying not to be too aggravated.

“I know,” she whispered, underlined in sadness.

Jackie laid his head down, only now realizing she got him a pillow to rest on.

She fidgeted underneath him. Moving her arms in various positions, straight and then bent legs, readjusting her pillow.

“Stop messing around and go to sleep!” he quietly threatened.

“I can’t stop thinking.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t. Please just, knock me out. I’m sorry.”

Jackie sighed in anger at this. Let her go to pinch the bridge of his nose at how exhausting she was. But then, it was back to his resting spot on her waist. Recalled a standby eight hour spell, and they were asleep within the minute he finished. Didn’t even have time to think of where he should hide the kitchen knives.

[owo-shenanigans]

Kazuha came home (FAR too late, though….) and Klee came in the next 10 pull. So, why not write something small for them both? Cyno, if you follow along then you’ll get a fic too.

Kazuha - A Summer Day (feat. platonic Klee)

Word Count: 552

“Children are absolutely exhausting.” Kazuha nearly collapses against you, his usually unruffled demeanor smashed to pieces. You can’t dredge up the energy to poke fun at him for it, considering your own lack of energy.

“In our defence, the bombs give her a lot more to work with than most regular children.” You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, the combination of sweltering summer temperatures and the dry heat of Klee’s bombs a killer. Kazuha passed a drink over and you took it gratefully. Even the lukewarm liquid felt cool as it traveled down your throat.

“In our defense, she’s a goblin.” Kazuha murmured, and you choked on your laughter.

“Babe, she’s like 8. Plus, she gave you that ‘really cool lizard’. Wasn’t that sweet of her?” In your opinion, the lizard had indeed been very cool looking. It hadn’t been nearly as cool when Klee dropped it in your hands without warning, and her subsequent crying when you flung it away on instinct and none of you could find it again.

He nodded to you in acceptance of your point, taking a drink himself. Klee called you both over and you groaned quietly, getting to your feet and holding your hand out for Kazuha to pull himself up.

“What’s up, Klee?” You strolled over and took in the sight in front of you. Nothing was blown up, surprisingly- maybe she had gotten tired herself after all her playing. A dozen crayons were scattered on the grass, surrounding a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Klee grabbed the paper and held it up to show you. You squinted to make sense of it.

“Is that us?” Kazuha leaned over to get a better look, and a smile appeared on his face as Klee nodded furiously.

“Yeah! I’ve been having lots and lots of fun today! I usually can’t go too far from Mondstat without someone to go with me, and the Honorary Knight’s been too busy to play.” Her voice took on a pout towards the end. “But today you both took me somewhere I’ve never been before, and it’s been so much fun! I don’t ever wanna forget today.”

You covered your mouth. No matter how exhausting she was to deal with, Klee was one of the sweetest kids you had ever interacted with, you were pretty sure. “Klee, do you mind if I give you a hug?” You crouched and she jumped into your arms with enthusiasm.

“If there’s any paper left, we could draw our own pictures too.” Kazuha ruffled Klee’s hair, his energy returning. “That way we can each keep a memory of today.”

Klee nodded enthusiastically in your arms, pulling away. “Yeah! I have a lot of papers and crayons. It’s always good to be prepared for anything.” Her voice takes on a tone of repetition, but you’re fairly sure Master Jean hadn’t meant drawing utensils when she said to be prepared for anything.

The three of you sat on the floor again, and the rest of the day passed peacefully. Klee was returned to Jean in her sleep, her busy day finally catching up to her, and you and Kazuha barely made it back to your own home before collapsing into bed, all of you holding the drawings clutched in your hands.

[blackhuajia]

Helloooo

Hi it’s been awhile since I post frequently here (like back in 2019-2020).The covid lockdown impact still got me, I’m still kinda.. I don’t know? Feel a bit unmotivated (or inconsistent) to do things? BUT AT LEAST I’VE GRADUATED FROM SCHOOLL YEAY but shits been upside down lately.. I still want to post more art because I love to, I feel like I can entertain people with my art and I’m glad I can do so.... It’s just my self esteem kinda low lately and I feel like some people kinda tired seeing my art ( I know it’s just my feelings but yea sometimes it can’t be help tho) but I’ll work it out soon..

i just wanna say thank you to all people that has been following me since my first post back in 2019, it’s nice to see people loving what I draw and passively support me from wherever you are.. I’ll provide more fanarts in the future as long as my health consistently in good condition.

I’ll try to draw more of... sOMETHING NOT RELATED TO GENSHIN HAJAJEJN BECAUSE I MISS MY MXTX AND ANIME DAYSss I’m sorry to my early followers if now you only see genshin fanarts from me (I play honkai impact and some other game too but I rarely draw them idk why). Ngl I’m taking a break from the game too (until sumeru comes out) because it’s kinda mentally drained me out.

I never write this much on social media but yea just... wanna clear things out here to let you know I’m alive and well HAHAHA

I’m planning to open commission too.... Idk yet when but soon soon, whether people will commission me or not.... well, up to you all. If it’s possible I want to have some savings to further my studies in the future ehe

whoever read this until the end, thank you I appreciate you sm aaaaa have a good day byebye

[blooming-inthedark]

I’M HAPPY FOR YOU

but. i can’t be 100% present enough to share your joy because i’m... emulous. and please understand, this makes me feel very shitty. i wish this wasn’t my truth.

currently, three of my female friends are very pregnant. all 3 of them are married. all 3 of them are due within the next month.  all 3 of them are having boys, ironically. and all 3 of them are of course very excited about entering motherhood with their bundle of joy, thus, sharing parts of the very happy but sometimes painful and emotional journey with me.  and of course, i am happy to sit by and listen to the emotional vents, the funny food cravings and cry spells, the random information about do’s and don’ts of pregnancy, and buying all the gifts [that i can afford] for the baby showers! what an exciting time in my friends’ lives, and i get a front row - well, maybe a 7th row seat if i’m being realistic (because hey, niggas be busy with work and life) - to all of the action. 

there’s so much excitement that earlier this week, another one of my female friends revealed to me that she just discovered she is 2 months pregnant. surprise! omg! congratulations! yayy!

but i’m not gonna lie. somehow, hearing this additional exciting news sort of punched me in the gut a little bit. because that little asshole critical voice came through loud and clear.

this is your 4th friend to be with child. the other three are married and she’s engaged. oh, and two of your other friends just closed on a new house this month, with their spouse/partner. two of your friends are high earners. one of your friends from high school wrote a movie and just sold it to a popular TV network. your actor friends? they either gave it up in confidence because they found another passion, or they’re getting booked. so... what is it that you’re doing again?

i know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. and it’s not even that i desire to have a baby, get married, or get a house right now like my friends. those are things that i want in my future, but none of them are really my ‘right now’ goals. the problem is that everyone around me has something in their lives that they can draw joy from, and i no longer have that. 

now, i’m not romanticizing their lives and assuming that because they have babies, high paying jobs and marriages means that everything is perfect for them. i know that this isn’t true for anyone. everyone has to deal with some level of sorrow, disappointment, pain, or general bullshit. but that sorrow, disappointment, pain and general bullshit is maybe underlining or sprinkled into their circumstances. it doesn’t HEADLINE their existence. 

my frustration since i’ve moved to GA has been losing the balance of things i wanna do vs. things i don’t wanna do... things i like vs. things i really dislike... having a community vs. being by myself...

it seems like everything in my daily routine leaves me drained and passionless. my job is remote, so i spend every day waking up, just to go and sit in the living room. all day. my hours are late, so i miss out on the mingling/networking/playtime events for other actors. by the time i’m off work i’m too tired and annoyed to do anything else other than eat and watch something on tv. my best bet for staying active with creative endeavors is paying for classes but my rent has gone up and my pay has remained the same so i can mostly afford a manicure and a scented candle with what i have left over after bills. i’ve tried to find new jobs, specifically something that doesn’t leave me sitting all day and involves more people interaction. but so far i’ve only gotten rejection emails. the only people who have reached out were scams or didn’t pay enough for me to live off of. 

i’ve also been dealing with a phorid fly issue in my apartment during the warm months that the leasing office has done nothing to combat.  they are not like fruit flies and drain flies, hanging out in one area. they are attracted to light and alcohol and other random shit. they dart in and out of my face all day at work and i’ve been miserable. (luckily because the weather is getting cold they are finally slowly going away) i know i won’t be renewing, but because of the rent prices here and my lack of decent pay, i haven’t been able to find another apartment in budget that isn’t in a crime ridden area or infested with bugs. 

i’ve started and stopped trying to form a physical fitness routine. i try to leave the house on weekends just to say i didn’t spend my entire week in my apartment. i facetime one of my friends every day just to have some people interaction. the few friends i have here i’m able to hang with seldomly, but again we’re all adults with lives and it isn’t very often.

maybe i have a warped sense of what life should look like as a single person who has moved away from their entire family and primary community base. maybe i am stubborn and not willing to sacrifice enough to change my circumstances. perhaps i’m right around the corner from that random, unexpected life changing moment that will turn things around. 

all i know is, at this stage in my life, it has been tough to be happy for others without being reminded that there isn’t much happiness in my own life, and how scary it feels to know it has been this way for a while. naturally you figure ‘i’m the common denominator’ so its gotta be something i’m doing wrong. but this only brings more self loathing. 

i really don’t want every post on this blog to be me complaining and being emotional about things that have hurt or disappointed me in my life. but damn. this is how its going and writing it down helps. 

hoping nobody reads this and judges me. knowing that your opinion means nothing. respectfully. :)

#sigh

envy - 7 me - 0

[blondrichclosetwitch]

“It’s a movie.”

I told that boy(L), “We gotta keep it low, leave me the room key"

On that Demon Time, she might start a OnlyFans

Big B and that B stand for blondrichclosetwitch

“If you wanna see some real ass, baby, here's your chance.”

put you up on this game

new york cares.

Christ Consciousness

Why made me behave that way?

My name is Tommy and I became aware this year

Cause when love is gone, there's always justice

And when justice is gone, there's always force

And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!

I feel like our ship's going down tonight

Age Of Anxiety

Dad built the labyrinth and we were born in it

You will wake and walk and draw the blind and feel some presence there behind and turn to see what that may be

Well babe its me

Oh no, you've put your finger on it

Stand up, sit down, hands up, break down

I'm feelin' all my fuckin' feelings

I'd get out of my way

You're out singing songs, and I'm down shouting names at the flickerless screen, going fucking insane

You try to deafen me

Ben stars in all my wars and more

They tell the same story so much, they start to believe it

Wonder how I got this way?

The show must go on

If I could see you

Then I wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city

(Looking at kurdt’s picture)” so what do you want? Married/buried?

What else should I write?

Just that?

What else should I write? Quotes?

OHHHHHHH”

Secret——so sorry that I forgot.

“These should never be discussed here, so keep it to yourself.”*

But your books don't say much about living your life like a thief

Yeah we've handcuffed and chained

We play games and play them out slowly

Chained to my lover as she's chained to me

(Also, candle witchcraft I’m guessing: it reminds me of something from 2017:

when I went to the church for service kinda hysterical because fake Stella told me the Devil was in her, and that now he also had control of God…and this sweet woman who was always kind to me said she was sure that wasn’t true because God was omnipotent. And that was probably the day that I started to question what I was being told.

Oh yeah—how does that tie in? Because I don’t believe your candlework can measure up to God.)

Forgive. Notice the numbers on this are my lifepath, the lovers card (6) and Ace of Swords(55).

I want you to notice my anger's all but done and all I've known is madness

Satellites ahead, so hold on

Pretend to be you when I'm high

Tbh, I’m not sure about bad bunny since my Spanish sucks but I think it’s: the time has come to start reasoning before it’s too late

“Well, you gotta see this.”

Horse heads that I dance around in (there was a horse head “costume” left on driggs that I assumed was to freak me out, but that’s how paranoia works best)

Coked up anorexics

Got a tree and this golden thing

What a Fool I've been (not my punctuation)

And how the cracks begin to show

Heartbreaks plus the tapes, now you all in the lectures being studied by the college's professors

Going to leave this brokedown palace

river gonna take me

Mama, many worlds I’ve come since I first left home

And if truth be told, it's scary

And I can't tell which ones are mine and which I created

I’ll leave you if you let me*

You know the monkey

“We know there’s a price to pay.”

Funny how you said it was the end, yeah

Music is your only friend until the end

We’re getting tired of hanging around

[jmagnabo92]

I posted 776 times in 2022

That's 723 more posts than 2021!

179 posts created (23%)

597 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jmagnabo92

@padfootastic

@impishtubist

@roalinda

@hinnysphoenix

I tagged 713 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#sirius black - 395 posts

#harry james potter - 307 posts

#james potter - 236 posts

#harry potter - 188 posts

#prongsfoot - 184 posts

#sirius and harry - 143 posts

#harry j potter - 139 posts

#sirius and harry saturday - 122 posts

#good godfather sirius black - 101 posts

#sirius & harry - 86 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#sirius always had the right and was a good guardian over molly because he was chosen and consistently there for harry in the short time they

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Announcing Prongsfoot Week - August 21st to August 27th

Hey All!  

I’ve been really into Prongsfoot lately, and I’d like to do a whole week dedicated to them in August.  To make sure that it doesn’t just have to be writers, I wanted to make it a little different than normal ship weeks I’ve seen.  Thus,

DAY 1 - When and Why did you begin to Ship Prongsfoot?  What makes you Ship it?  Basically, just gush on this ship.

DAY 2 - What Headcanons do you have for this ship?  IE, things like, James made the first move or Sirius got James into crosswords.  Anything really.

DAY 3 - Favorite Canon/Potentially Canon moment - IE, something like Sirius comforting James after the DADA OWL and Lily’s reaction or (even though it’s platonic) the moment James asked Sirius to be Harry’s godfather.  

DAY 4 - Favorite type of story that you like to Read and/or Write for this ship?

DAY 5 - Favorite Tropes for this Ship?

DAY 6 - Questions for this Ship? (Link to Questions for Ship I found, but if anyone wants to contribute other questions - feel free to do so before the week starts!)

DAY 7 - Write/Draw/anything for this ship.

Anyone can participate just tag ProngsfootWeek2022 

Thanks!

59 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#4

Why the hell am I seeing Pro Snape shit on my dash???

"Based on your likes" bullshit.

I loathe Snape with a passion. I don't want to see pro snaper's rationalizations for why Snape's a little "angel". Don't make me gag.

In other news, give me your best anti snape posts to make up for it.

66 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

#3

Snippet of Sirius giving Harry his own Room at Grimmuald Place after the first visit to Arthur in the hospital.

Sirius and Harry Saturday.

***

Knowing that he needs to get Harry to talk to him, he sends the kids downstairs, leans against the door and pulls out the mirror. “Harry.”

It takes multiple calls before a puffy-eyed Harry appears in the mirror. “I’m not in the mood to talk, Sirius.”

“I think we need to talk, Kid,” Sirius states, his eyebrows raised at Harry’s use of his name. He’d always called him ‘Pads’ since the day before the school year started whenever it was just the two of them. “I can help – at least let me try.”

Harry’s clearly uninterested in responding as he doesn’t even look at Sirius through the mirror.

“Alright, kid. We don’t have to talk, but I do have a surprise for you. Wanna come out so I could show you? I spent weeks on it – please, come out? Just for me?”

Harry rolls his eyes and huffs out a sigh, “Fine.”

The door opens behind him, and Harry looks like a tired mess, but still rather defiant. “Where’s this ‘surprise’?”

Sirius grins and grabs his hand and leads him up the stairs. They make it to the third door next to Regulus’ room on the children’s floor. The plaque read Harry James Potter’s Room.

Harry looks at him, “What’s this?”

“Your surprise. Go on, look inside.”

Harry hesitates but is clearly curious and slowly enters the room. He walks to the middle of the room, which is decorated with all of Harry’s favorite things, and pictures of his family – Ie, his parents, Sirius and himself. There weren’t many, but Sirius hoped to rectify that. He’d included photos of when Harry was a baby. It’d taken him a while to find them all – sneaking out of headquarters with Dobby to find them at his old flat (which had been willed to him by his Uncle Alfred and visiting Andy secretly while Tonks was gone because she would mention his excursions to Remus or Dumbledore and Sirius didn’t want the Order to know). Harry’s spinning around looking at everything in utter shock before sitting on the queen-sized bed with golden sheets and a deep red blanket since he’s used to the Gryffindor dorms’ color.

He looks shocked. “This is – for me?”

Sirius smiles as he moves in front of Harry, “I offered you a home when I was almost freed, and I couldn’t follow through. Now, I – I know that I – I can’t fully offer you to stay while I’m technically still on the run. I – I want to, but with the Ministry paying close attention to you, it’s hard… Dumbledore has to approve when you come and – and…” Sirius shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter, the point is – this is your home, I know it’s kind of depressing and I’d rather we live anywhere else, but … this is what I can do for now. Someday, when I get the chance to be free and prove my innocence, we’ll get a new home, but for now, I wanted you to have your own room and know that you’re not a guest – you’re home here.”

Harry’s quiet for a long time and Sirius almost afraid to look at him, worried than he made a mistake, that Harry didn’t want to be with him – live with him or have a home with him. That maybe Harry eagerly accepting Sirius’ offer had just been the excitement of the moment, even if he had asked if he could live with him when he was worried about getting expelled. It could be that he was just worried and wanted some comfort and assurances, not that he actually wanted to live with Sirius… especially when Grimmauld Place was not his idea of a good home…

“Of course, if you don’t –” Sirius is cut off when Harry suddenly throws himself in Sirius’ arms. He buries his face in Sirius’ neck, getting it all wet from his tears, and mutters something about never having a home before. “Oh, Kid, I love you. I always wanted you here, I just come with some complications, and I wasn’t sure if you didn’t want to…”

“Of course, Pads!” Harry says, leaning back. “I’ve always wanted to live with you ever since you offered, but I thought – maybe you didn’t want me to.”

“Of course I did, Kid. I’ve always wanted you with me.” He smiles. “So, do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it! I – I get to stay here for the holidays?”

“Yes, I’ll have Dobby move your things – that elf really loves you,” Sirius smiles. “He helped me buy the stuff and – er – helped me sneak out of here, completely hidden, I promise. So don’t worry.”

Harry smiles, “I’m glad you got to get out safely. You were so happy when you were out and about as Padfoot when you took me to the train, I worried about you being stuck inside.”

“I’m feeling a lot better these days, this project for you helped distract me. Sometimes, it’s projects that can help quite a bit,” Sirius states. “Distractions can be great.”

84 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#2

Padfoot at the Pound

Could fit into the James Lives AU.  Harry and Sirius Saturday plus some Prongsfoot Sunday. :) 

Sirius and Harry play fetch in the park, and animal control ends up picking up Padfoot, who spends two nights in the Pound.  

***

Sirius’ favorite day of the week is Saturday – not because sometimes he has dates with his lovely husband James, but because whenever Harry doesn’t have plans with friends, his kid likes playing fetch with Padfoot.  

         The ten-year-old had been far more interested in spending weekends with his friends than with his parents, but Sirius could admit that he missed the days when he and James were Harry’s whole world. Thus, when Harry announced that the sleepover at Connor’s was cancelled due to chicken pox, he immediately offered for two of them going to hiking through the woods to their favorite park where they typically play fetch just the two of them.  

         Arriving at the park, Harry says, “Alright, Padfoot, ready to play?”

         Sirius nods, immediately chasing after the ball as he throws it and teasing him with it when he comes back by running around a gleefully happy Harry, who’s coincidentally yelling, “Bad dog – just give me the ball.”

         Eventually he does, and Harry throws it again.  

         Again, and again the process repeats for hours until Harry gets tired and it’s almost time for dinner.  As Sirius brings the ball back one last time, Harry says, “Wanna race home?”

         Sirius nods, and they both take off.  

         Unfortunately, he lets Harry take the lead because he wants to watch and make sure that Harry will get home safely and as Harry makes it onto the path that leads through the woods, Sirius is stopped by a couple of men in uniforms.  He’s confused and can’t change back to explain, so he backs up, growling at them, only to suddenly find that there was someone behind him who has a makeshift collar and leash.  

         He’s pulled back and suddenly feels a needle in his hindquarters and everything going black.  

***

         “Dad!  Dad!” Harry yells as he runs through the door.  “I lost Pads!”

         “What do you mean you lost Pads?” James asks as he looks up from his sudoku puzzle.  He’d been spending the afternoon enjoying the quiet while his husband and son played at the park.  

         “I mean – he was following me as Padfoot and then all of a sudden, he wasn’t – I realized, and I ran back, and I saw some animal control men putting him in the back of a van.  I tried to tell them that he was my dog, but they wouldn’t believe me – said someone called about a rogue menace and that they were taking him to the pound.”

         He’s not surprised to find that someone would’ve called animal control on Padfoot, particularly since there’s this one redheaded woman that purely loathes Padfoot since she always finds him a bit aggressive because she’s always flirting with James in front of him and he’s naturally jealous.  

         “Alright, best go break him out then.”

***

         Sirius is furious when he wakes up again.  He’s stuck as Padfoot inside a medium-sized cage with a muzzle and nothing else.  Immediately, he wants to get it off.  He’s a human pretending to be a dog – he should not be treated like an actual dog.  

         “Oh, look who’s awake,” a brown-haired worker comments, laughing slightly as his attempts to get the muzzle off.

         “Don’t antagonize the dogs, Jack,” another man says, who looks vaguely familiar.  “It’s hard for them to be locked up and you’re not helping by being aggressive towards them.”

         “He was aggressive, first.”

         “He’s a dog – he was reacting to being trapped.”

         “Yeah, yeah.  I don’t know why you care so much.  There’re just animals,” Jack states before heading for the door, “I’m going on break.  Be careful with that one.”

         As soon as Jack leaves, the second man approaches him, and says, “Don’t bite me now, Padfoot.”

         Sirius nods, still confused, slightly.  This isn’t James, so who could it be?

         The man takes the muzzle off, “There you go – I’d let you out, but I can’t – this is the longest job I have had in a while, and I can’t lose it.  The people here are very understanding about the full moon nights I need off because the rest of the time I take the unwanted shifts.  Just me and the dogs.”

         Sirius tilts his head and narrows his eyes.  Full moon?  Padfoot?  Not having long-term jobs?  Remus?

See the full post

167 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Harry's Grief Book 6

I've seen people mention Harry's 'appeared" lack of Grief for Sirius but I think it's alot more subtle in book 6 because at that point he has dealt with alot of Grief.

Moments of Grief:

1. Spending almost two weeks not even leaving his room in a slump thinking about Sirius.

2. Wanting to avoid any mention of him but accepting Dumbledore’s words that Sirius wouldn't want him to wallow.

3. His reaction to Kreacher.

4. Talking to Buckbeak: "Missing him? Me too."

5. Attacking Dung for stealing from Sirius and having to be reminded that it's not Sirius' things but his own.

Even the fact that he starts obsessing over the prince possibly being James or Sirius and being disappointed when Remus states otherwise. It's there, he's just got the overwhelming burden of the prophecy weighing on him, too, so it's alot.

268 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

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