#i’ve felt so much less alone since having my pokemon partners…

[wanderings-of-galar]

My mons do wonders for me when I’m anxious. Even if they don’t always understand why I feel the way I do, they can notice when I’m in distress or panicking and do their best to distract me to comfort me in their own ways…

[turffieldstadium]

How would Piers, Leon, Raihan, Milo, and Allister react to their s/o's partner Pokemon showing affection and trust to then for the first time? Like, before it's really just been standoffish and ignored them for the most part, then one day it finally decides they're alright and gives them a nuzzle.

Cheers for requesting my favourite thing I’ve ever written ever

Piers

If his partner's Cinccino doesn't like him, it's no skin off his nose. He figured the little thing would grow tired of trying to clean up the tip he called home (his place wasn't even that messy, honestly) at some point - it's no surprise when it started to ignore him.

Okay but tail-sweeping every place he sits is a bit much, he's not that much of a slob.

They learn to live with each other regardless, blissfully ignoring each others' existence, grimacing at each other whenever they were alone in the same room.

Until a thunderstorm hit Spikemuth anyway, while Piers’ partner was away visiting family. Storms never bothered him any, but who knew Cinccino was scared of thunder?

Before Piers could question where Cinccino was after sitting in silence a little too long, a fuzzy ball collided with his stomach, trying to dig its way into his clothes before giving up and settling behind him, tangled in his hair.

Piers could feel the poor little shit's body shaking, whining every time thunder rumbled in the distance. With a smile and a sigh that most certainly weren't out of fondness, thank you very much, Piers shifted on the lounge so Cinccino could tumble in his lap and hide under his hoodie, keeping a hand on its back as the storm passed.

Leon

His Charizard absolutely adores his partner to no end, so yeah it kinda stung when their Crustle didn't appear to have the same feelings toward him. Leon's got a whole array of pinch scars on his arms and legs to prove it.

It seemed every time he so much as breathed in Crustle's direction, it'd give him the stinkeye. And every time it scared the absolute Shit out of Leon.

His partner returns home one afternoon, and Leon's jaw drops at the large chunk missing from Crustle's shell. They tell him they lost a fight against a trainer with a Pangoro, and a strong Brick Break was the cause of the damage.

Crustle refused to leave the house after the loss, often sitting quietly in a pokebed, poking the remains of its shell every so often. While his partner began the hunt for a good replacement boulder, Leon decided to keep it company.

Sitting well out of pinching range, he just. Talked to Crustle. Told it that it was a good battler, that one accident and one loss didn't mean it was weak. And soon, it'd have a brand new tough boulder to call its own! It wouldn’t have to feel nervous going outside!

Leon didn't realise Crustle got up to move until he felt a heavy weight at his side, a shell-less Crustle curled up by his leg.

Raihan

He's not the biggest fan of Fairy-types anyway, if he's honest. His partner's Ribombee turning its little nose up at him wasn't a bother. No, the fact it took to pelting him with Pollen Puffs was the issue.

There's a ton of videos on Poketube of Raihan minding his business only for Ribombee to float up behind him and just wreck his shit. It becomes a meme for a while.

Raihan really doesn't know fucking Why Ribombee hates him so much, until he sees its panicked shiver when his partner's watching him do a practice battle, right as he calls for his Goodra to set up a Rain Dance.

It's then he realises that maybe Ribombee are sensitive to weather. Maybe everytime he set up a Sandstorm or Rain Dance during a battle with his partner around, Ribombee got uncomfortable or scared. Suddenly he feels like an asshole for not noticing sooner - no wonder it hated him.

To apologise, he seeks out Milo's aid in order to make a nice big bouquet of flowers for it. Yes he's giving flowers to a Pokemon, mind your business.

Upon presenting the bouquet to Ribombee (he took his beanie/headband thing and held it to his chest and everything), there's a long, fearful moment where Raihan's worried it won't accept his apology and take the chance to just pelt him in the face with a Pollen Puff at close range.

Thankfully, Ribombee trills and buries itself in the flowers, only pausing to pap Raihan's cheek with it's little teeny fairy-bug hands.

Milo

In his mind he knows that Purrloin tend to be standoffish and independent Pokemon, but his heart's crying over it not liking his company at all. He can excuse it stealing his scarves or gloves - that's in their nature - but leaving the room as soon as he enters just hurts.

Does he try too hard? Is he too intimidating? Is he not doing enough to make it think he cares for it? It can't be his association with all his rambunctious Wooloo, Purrloin seems to love them just fine.

As much as it stings, he just has to resign himself to adoring the little thing from afar, resisting the urge to bury his face in its fur everytime it rolls over to show it's soft widdle belly.

After months of crying over Purrloin whenever it kneaded blankets and blepted and gifted him various scratches, it finally deigns to touch Milo by leaping on his back and clawing its way to his shoulders as he tends to his garden. To Milo's credit, he stood very still and held in his tears like a champ.

He barely has time to try and begin the process of extracting Purrloin from its chokehold on his scarf, before a group of Yamper pups tumble their way over to his feet, all high pitched barks and wagging tails.

In what could be considered a feat worthy of Arceus itself, Milo manages to maneuver his way through the sea of excited pups all trying to chase their new 'friend', and a scared, hissy Purrloin attempting to use its claws to dig all the way through his bloody skin, ow, in order to get Purrloin somewhere less noisy and more comfortable.

After painfully making it inside his house, Purrloin, upon realising it's no longer being harrassed by tiny static fluffballs, retracts its claws and jumps to the floor, purring and rubbing itself against Milo's legs. He'd be happy if he didn't just experience what Giratina's Hell must be.

Allister

At first he assumed that the Greedent was scared of his mask. It made the most sense, right? But even taking it off in private, it never stuck around. Heck, he'd tried to befriend it with berries since Greedents are so food-driven, but it'd just take them and scurry off.

His friend tried to soothe him by saying Greedent's aren't... the smartest, and that it probably just saw him as a means of free food. But did that mean it’d never like him, then?

His Yamask adored curling around his friend’s shoulders - Allister hoped he’d be able to have fun times like that with their chubby little Greedent, too. Okay maybe not exactly like that since Greedent’s are heavy and Allister doesn’t want to die but anyway.

After weeks of no progress - negative progress, in fact, since Greedent stopped acknowledging Allister all together when it realised he wouldn’t give it food - Allister was minding his business doing spooky ghost things outside in the dark (aka, stargazing), until a soft brush at his back had him jumping out of his skin.

Greedent sniffed at him, before deciding to amble onto his lap and curl up with a berry from its tail fluff. Allister wasn’t about to look a gift Ponyta in the mouth but like. What the fuck.

It was then he remembered he was wearing his friend’s coat, one they’d been wearing earlier that day. Did... Did Greedent just not recognise anyone who didn’t smell like its trainer?

Suddenly a lot of things made sense and Allister had the sudden urge to steal all his friend’s hoodies. Or the less illegal route of getting Greedent used to his scent instead. That way sounded easier, and nicer.

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

Know You Uncomfortably Well: 5, 8, 9, 12, 23, 24, 28, 33, 35, 38, 46, 50, 67, 86, 87 (you /did/ ask for it, my friend :p)

haha I did indeed, and you are ridiculous.  *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO!

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple!  Specifically purples along this sort of palatte:

8. Where are you from?

Arizona, originally!  But upstate new york is legitimately where my heart lies and where Birdie and I ultimately plan to return to one day.

9. How tall are you?

5′4.75″ ...It’s actually closer to 5′4.5″ but well it all comes out about 164cm in the end.

12. What was your last dream about?

So I don’t tend to remember my dreams very well, but they always tend to be very cinematic and don’t always even involve me, though some of them do.  Always there’s a plot, even if I can’t remember what the plot is.  

The last one I still have some vague memory of I was living in some sort of fascist sort of 1984-ish state, but all slick and 2000s modern and stuff.  And I was in a resistance with Penn & Teller for some reason?  And somehow they were still celebrities?  It was bizarre.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I have!  I think there’s only two that weren’t like.  Popular Christian Musicians From The Late 90s/Early Aughts, and those were Alice Cooper (who was very nice and thought the story I told him about how when my mom was in college he performed near her and she hopped the fence at the tiny local airport his private plane had landed in and stuck her gum to the bottom of it before going to the concert was VERY funny).

And the other one I actually knew before he was a celebrity but I think it still counts?  But I was kind of quasi-adopted as a little sister sort of person by Kellan Lutz’s mom?  Uh, he was in the Twilight movies, I forget the guy’s name, the big jock one of the Cullens?  I also babysat his younger brothers, and Kellan taught me how to play Pokemon Snap in his living room.  This was when he was in high school, obviously - he was a year older than me and I thought he was super nice.  I basically lived at their house for a couple years.

24. Baths or showers?

Depends on what I want/need out of it.  If it’s just “I want to get clean and maybe warm”, showers every time especially if there’s not a good deep tub available.  If I want to soak to help my joints/muscles hurt less or if my spoons are low for standing, then baths.

My kingdom for either a LARGE tub with a separate shower that fits a shower chair, or one of those walk-in sitting tubs with a shower attachment.

28. What type of music do you like?

ALL KINDS.  Seriously, I have yet to run into a type of music that I don’t like ANYTHING from that genre, though I’m pickier about some things like heavy metal or country.  But I really like kind of. Indie Rock circa the early aughts?  Not even rock, just like.  Indie rock/pop/folk/country/whatever that weird thing that was going on like.  Norah Jones, Ingrid Michaelson, Rilo Kiley, Neko Case, Sara Bareilles... idk there’s a similar through line to a lot of them?  ...Maybe it’s just they’re all girls man idk XD  But also Give Me Mountain Goats.  I love The Mountain Goats. 

I just like songs, generally.  Fuck genre, often even fuck artist bc there are many artists who I only really listen to a couple of songs from and don’t really get into the other stuff they do.

Also filk.  Seanan and Vixy & Tony and SJ Tucker and all sorts of fun fantasyish folk.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I mean, often “nothing”, or “I grab some crackers or a boost shake to get me through until lunch”.  I don’t actually like eating right after I’ve woken up?  But sometimes I’ll have cereal or toast.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

*sobs into hands*  OK so when we were living in Florida, my friend Dorian and I actually used to go to an archery class every week, and it was SO FUN.  But then he got a new job and couldn’t do it anymore, and he was my ride and I tried going alone but it just wasn’t the same, but I did graduate to the intermediate class before I stopped going.  I MISS IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

I’d really like to take it back up again, but I don’t have anywhere to practice or anything, so it’s difficult.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think 72 hours, if you don’t count 10 minutes of being conscious but just *grazing* the edges of sleep and then getting woken up again before I could actually sleep.

When the insomnia passed, I slept for like 16 hours straight with two quasi-conscious points when I went to pee.

46. What is your personality type?

Like, from a test or just in general?  In general I think I’m a pretty optimistic but dreamy person.  Creative, not great at motivation, prefer working alone or with one trusted partner I already know to groups, like my alone time, etc.  I did take a couple personality tests to answer tho!:

(from here)

(from here)

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed but I keep trying occasionally to cultivate left handedness in myself. Something I’ve been trying to do since I was like 11 (I never stick at it long enough for it to work, ftr) initially because I was deeply paranoid I would get leukemia and have to get my right arm amputated (I was a weird kid) and I wanted to not have to re-learn how to write while dealing with all that, but then moving forward just ‘cause it would be cool to be able to do, especially when like, I’m trying to do an essay test and my hand is cramping up.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Well, I didn’t think so and i probably couldn’t do it without a map or a list of what I’ve already named, but I took a test and got 100% sooooo...

86. What are you allergic to?

Tylenol and cantaloupe! Also possibly aspirin.  None of them like LIFE THREATENING but tylenol has increased in severity of symptoms every time I’ve taken it since I was little and the last time I tried I got a REALLY itchy throat and mouth and it felt like things were swollen and making breathing not DIFFICULT but at least very mildly obstructed, so it’s probably for the best not to take it again, y’know?

87. Do you keep a journal?

I don’t.  I used to, when I was in high school I had like four thick journals that had like, those fancy cloth/beaded covers and handmade paper that was really popular for a while in the early aughts?  Including one that had a leather wrap cover that was entirely in tengwar and cirith from Lord of the Rings - not from a website, but my own interpretation of the charts and linguistic information provided in the Lord of the Rings appendices. So that no one could read my diary.

I’ve lost the journals and the tengwar chart I’d made but I can more or less rebuild it with the variety of options you can find online, but it’s a sort of mishmash and I definitely didn’t stick to one language’s usage of certain letters, and I developed certain shorthand quirks - some of which were used by tolkien and some of which weren’t - that would make it very difficult to transcribe that journal even if you were working off the specific variant of the tengwar alphabet that I’d been using.  I don’t think even I could do it anymore tbh, if I were to find that journal.  In my defense, it’s been nearly 20 years since I kept it, so. XD

GET TO KNOW ME UNCOMFORTABLY WELL

[twilightvolt]

I kinda was saving this for when i had the time to type everything out in one go, so let’s just get this over with before Smash drags me back into the depths of hell. XD

So, like, things happened back in 2017. a lot of things. graduated highschool, felt the winds of freedom as i stepped into the world of adulting and.....fell into a deep abyss of crippling depression as my life took a rather....wild turn to say the least. these feelings would linger and continue to haunt me throughout the majority of 2018. if you’d like to hear them or just need a refresher, my 2017 summary WITH that in depth description is on my DA that i no longer use cuz all i can think of when i go there is that year as a whole.

That’s not to say the year was cruddy, though. it really looked up by the end and it’s been one of the better years of my life as an artist. i’m about to go into that, so sit tight if you wanna actually read everything.

January: Arcus ~Collab with KLou

Things got heated at grandma’s after the holidays and we left in a huff cuz yeah, big fight the night before. it wasn’t something i ever wanna remember, but i gotta acknowledge it happened. thus began the struggles of living life as a nomad basically. From this point on until May, i won’t say much about our situation cuz honestly, time grinded to a halt after hotel life began.

February: Let’s Save the World

Believe it or not, this was a mobile drawing. i still didn’t have my tablet or my computer, so i tried using my phone for awhile. this was, of course, after i got Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory for PS4, so this right here was my Dracomon babu Takumi, named after the former wearer of the goggles i equipped to him.

March: Let’s Kick It!

A brief moment of light as i fINALLY GOT MY TABLET BACK ONLINE! i felt like things were going to be different, we’d finally get somewhere and i felt like i could do anything again! this drawing, while super simple since it was just me around most of my current OCs at the time, was meant to represent me being back in business after around 4 or 5 months of being restricted to traditional work, a medium i, at the time, didn’t have much development in. (although, those months sure did help me learn how to draw that way in more than just sketching. so i’m actually kinda grateful i was stripped of the tools that i realize i may or may not have taken for granted.)

April: Spyro the Dragon

The Reignited Trilogy was announced and that’s why i drew that cuz literally everyone was doing Spyro fanart. i remember also doing a bunch of little doodles of other people’s characters in this same coloring style since some of the drawings i did before like the mobile drawing and my traditional work gave me inspiration on how to go about doing this new watercolor/marker like style that i started to experiment with throughout 2016 and ‘17.

May: Memories in Pieces

Remember how i said time grinded to a halt after hotel life began? yeah, this is where it reeeeaaally started to effect me. the days dragged on and blended together, we STILL could secure a home to house all of us and it just felt like my life was just....over. like, all the important stuff happened and now my story’s just done. it didn’t help that memories from the year before decided to come back and hang over me like an undying demon cloud. my anxiety and depression couldn’t have been higher. and yet i still managed to wake up. in fact, i woke up bright and early every day somehow. it felt like there wasn’t anything to believe in and yet....i still had hope that we could get through this. i knew deep down we weren’t gonna be completely out of luck.....but i still hurt at the same time.

I never uploaded this drawing anywhere, but this was, to put it simply, partly a new direction for a future project but also a vent art of sorts, representing the negative thoughts and regrets that never seemed to leave me alone no matter how much time has passed.

June: Digimon Atlas Adventures Ultima Vocal Collection

My second commission ever made since i opened that month. it was also the first time i really cel shaded along with made a logo since the year before. this day marked the turning point along with the end of my depression for the most part as the parents finally gave up and took...some of us down to Florida. a couple of siblings had jobs to keep up with, so they had to stay back in NY with.....eghh....grandma. to this day, i’m still hearing stories even if some of them eventually found their own place. i swear, the more i hear about what’s going on, the less i wanna go back to NY. >_>’

July: Drake ~Art Fight 2018

Oh yeah, we moved down to FL, but we were still in hotels IN FL, so there was change, but still pretty similar circumstances. we quickly found a place at some point, though. a cozy apartment complex that i’m happy to live in.

This is when Art Fight began....or rather when it was supposed to begin cuz they had technical difficulties for the first week or so. the day i revamped Drake for it was like i was saying hi to an old friend after parting ways years prior. it was a really fun experience that i’d gladly partake in again next year if i’ve got the time.

August: Gathers Under Night...

A very ambitious looking piece i did as an attack against a friend during Art Fight. it was my favorite attack i ever did and could quite easily be my favorite drawing from this year. after leaving hotel life behind me, i rarely, if ever, had war flashbacks or anxiety over the past. i felt like my life was finally getting somewhere again. for real this time. and that it did, thankfully.

September: Lost in Thought

A gift i made for a longtime friend and art senpai to try and cheer them up. i still look back at this and think “yeah....this is the style i’ve been longing to emulate. and i’ve finally achieved it.” granted, it took a lot from Kingdom Hearts II’s title screen, but where do you think i got my love of watercolor from?

At this point, i started to become a new person. i mean i already was considering the summer also involved me trying to become a little less total weeb at least in terms of music taste and also leaving my hoodie lifestyle for a good few months, but yeah. in fact, i think this was the month i buzzed off all my emo hair and really ended up resembling how i looked like back when i was little, anime cowlick and all.

October: The Lethal Protector

Oh yeah, Venom happened. i should’ve disliked that movie with all it’s flaws and unused potential, but instead i wholeheartedly stan it and i luv the portrayal of Eddie and Venom to the point where i forgive where it went wrong.

Yeah, i completely moved on from everything that tied me down at this point. i yeeted the past into the stratosphere and focused solely on what i wanted to do now. what my next move was. and i can thank these two losers for helping me stay focused on my craft. i also kept branching outside of Digimon. i wanted to be more than what i used to be.

November: My Favorite Ninja Frog

Didn’t do much this month, so all i had was a doodle of my starter partner for Pokemon Y. i never evolved him past Frogadier cuz i preferred him over Greninja. it was the tongue scarf, dude.

Why? ehh, it was most likely Warframe. i got into that game at some point cuz a friend persuaded me to do it. i don’t regret anything. i luv this game when i’m playing with friends.

December: Draw Your Roster Ultimate: The Winds of Reunion + Holiday Arcus

The Winds of Reunion cuz Wind Waker and the fact that everyone including Wolf, Young Link and even Pichu returned to Smash Bros. when Ultimate happened. this game cured my depression, cleared my skin and reignited my love for Starfox oddly enough since Starfox Zero AKA 64 with a new coat of paint and motion controls that weren’t as bad as you think didn’t exactly do it for me. i haven’t been so content with the way things are in a long time and i’m happy i finally got my hands on this treasure of a game. now, to wait for Kingdom Hearts III. ;w;

And now we finally get to the end of this long as heck recap. thank god Tumblr gives you unlimited characters, amirite? XD

Overall, this was a year of recovery and rebirth. it was a long and rough winding road, but in the end i think i’ve healed enough to finally get on with my life.

I’m not the same kid i used to be when i graduated highschool, and i’m definitely not the same kid i was when i was first starting out as an artist. my journey has been full of ups, downs and all arounds and it was all a much needed learning experience. even if i felt like i was suffering at times.

My future is mine to decide, and i’m not letting anything stand in my way again.

For the future i want to believe in.

[dragonsdencrafting-blog]

my perfect digimon game

under the cut cause this is long!

first of all this is just the ideas floating around in my head and has no impact of the world, but hey it’s fun to dream right? 

So first lets start off with the basics.

First of gender select is a must (Looking at you hackers memory) though some character customization would be nice I don’t think it’s all that big of a deal. Maybe just stop putting the female characters in such weird outfits. Past that I was fine with what we got in next order and cyber sleuth. next I think I’m going to favor the world series, at least next order, over the story series of digimon since it seems to be alittle more based on the anime, which was very popular, while story seems more like it was trying to rip off pokemon. But there are great ideas from both. Next thing i would like is alittle more options when it comes to sound and subtitles. I feel like my digimon were always loud and the music got kinda repetitive after awhile even though it was really good. Maybe just alittle more balancing for those of us with bad hearing.

Past that I think it’s time to talk about the setting and story. While I’m not going to lay out a story for this. (I’m not getting paid after all.) I can discuss some ideas that could work for the game. Of course the biggest thing would be to base it off the shows. I never watched past gen four of digimon as i hated the no partners thing and given that it went back to the old ways right after I would say that alot of people felt the same way. So most of what I’ve got would be from the first three gens, which were all pretty good. Though each did have its faults. But that’s getting off topic.

I think the game should take place in both the real world and he digital world. Like cyber sleuth but with a lot more to do outside of the digital world. In this the main character would likely be a college student. This could keep from making the game to hard by having to deal with parents or strict school rules, while still allowing a challenge to the player to keep from being discovered. I also like the idea of having digimon in the real world. Not just your own, but sort of random encounters that you have to battle to keep the bad guy from letting it be known that digimon are real. I feel like it would take some kind of mission board, however what would be kinda fun is if you went to a news stand and looked up strange rumors. Like the scene in men in black. Then I also think that the real world should have things you can do in it. Like in the persona games. Little events that could unlock missions and raise states for you and your comrades. Maybe you can choose to visit a spa to increase stamina or a green house for friendship. These things would always be available to you. Like maybe the gym is only open to students on the weekends. And while you’d still be able to train your digimon like you can in next order, These would be huge boosts that would likely be able to push you to the next stage if you took them. Of course it would come at a price. It would skip to the next day if you did that, meaning that you couldn’t train up on your own, and may lock you out of other things for that day. Such as if you choose to go to the pool on the weekend the you may have to wait a whole week before you could go to the gym. they would also cost money too, meaning you couldn’t always go if you didn’t have the funds and would still have to go beat up digimon or take some sort of job, again like a bounty board, so you could use them. They also wouldn’t be unlocked right away. Because these are things that you need to let your digimon do, while not being able to let them be seen in the first place, it should be that you must do something so as to make sure you can be alone. Maybe you can do a mission for the person who owns the pool so that they let you use it after ours. Or maybe its a private pool and you need to do something for the owner to let you use it at all. While at the gym, maybe you have to help a digimon copy the data for the gym and make a mock version in the gyms computer. Like recruiting digimon in previous games. Again you can still train up in the digital world for free. But the gains to that wouldn’t be near as big to balance it out, even if it’s fully upgraded. Next I like the idea of the town and growing it, but I think it should work alittle different. First It shouldn’t be tied to the story at all. You can go and recruit any digimon as soon as the area is unlocked if you have the skill, and you can go and beat the story without ever recruiting a single digimon. A big part of that is because alot of people will grind up to megas as early as they can and breeze through the game, just to hit a wall of not having recruited enough digimon or not having finished far enough in the story. This also helps because features such as locking in your digivolution rout wouldn’t be locked till you’ve almost beaten the game plus it would give way to challenge runs of the game, such as beat the story with out recruiting or recruit everyone before entering chapter two, ect. Recruiting could effect the real world as much as the town as well. Maybe some digimon will give you access to things in the real world, such and hacking computers to cause a power outage once a week so you could get out of class early and have more time to do things. Again I like the idea of having to deal with time, though not as extreme as in the persona games.

Next lets talk about the digimon themselves.

First, I think two partners is good. With just one you wind up getting stuck for alot longer with digivolutions that you don’t want/like, and any more then that starts getting that pokemon feeling. Plus there are tamers in the show with two so there’s that. Next it should follow next order pretty well with how it works, however with one major difference, Death! In this death of your digimon should happen when a digimon falls in battle twice without healing. The first time you lose a fight you’ll be taken back to the city entrance with your digimon hurt and in need of healing. Now to heal your digimon you’ll need an item at the beginning of the game and then later on an npc with do it for a small fee. This has two effects, one, you will be less likely to rush it to battles with higher level enemies and will take your digimon’s life more seriously, second, if you don’t like the digimon you have or want to train someone new you can just go lose some fights. This also keeps from having to worry about your mega level digimon dying right after you get it because it took you too long to train. Keep in mind that other things can still kill them, though those are a bit more random. Lastly there should be someway to save your favorite digimon. So if you spend three days trying to get crusadermon but you want to go through the rest of the field guide or worried you’ll make a mistake, you’ll have a way of getting her back, though that would be late game as it could be a bit over powering otherwise.

Other thoughts.

I want a game that’s a good balance between the two and doesn’t feel like it’s ripping off pokemon. I want one where you have more to do then just beat up digimon and train. I want one where the world feels like a bigger place and feels more alive. I want to feel like I’m part of it, feel like I did when I watched the show when it first came out. I just want a good game.

But what do you all think? Feel free to let me know. I thought of other ideas, like having teammates you could send on missions and the digimon be voiced. But those are ones that I’m not sure would work well or would feel like they were to close to other games.

[phanwritings]

Prayin’

Tittle: Prayin'

Word Count: 6.3K

Description: Dan was a seventeen year old boy with religious parents and a crush on his best friend.

Warnings/Triggers: Being caught, being outed, unsupportive parents, being kicked out, themes of homophobia. (There is a happy ending though!)

A/N: I've spent the past three days writing this, I hope you enjoy it. It has a lot of my life experiences in it. Also, I suck at endings and didn't know how to properly end it. Soz.

Read it on ao3 or wattpad if you’d like! They always get updated first btw 

*

"No, I can't be gay. They don't want me to be gay," he cried, trying to hide his face. Dan didn't want anyone to notice he was crying, even though someone was bound to. He was sat in the principal's office, his English teacher, principal, best friend and maybe boyfriend Phil, and the guidance counselor crowded around him. Dan wished they would give him some space.

Him and Phil had gotten caught kissing underneath the bleachers by the English teacher during 5th period, which was why they were in the office. The office normally would have called their parents but considering the fact that both of their parents were extreme Christians decided against it. The principal had then called the guidance counselor up to come and speak to them. "My parents are gonna kill me. Please don't tell them, please."

Dan tried to hide another sob, shuddering in the chair. He could feel everyone's gaze on him. It was nerve-wracking. Phil hesitantly placed his hand on Dan's back, rubbing it up and down, clearly trying to be soothing. When his parents heard he was going to be kicked out, he was sure of it.

*

WEEKS EARLIER

"Class! Please pay attention!" The teacher demanded at the front of the class. "For our new assignment we will be studying how music can affect mostly silent scenes in TV shows and movies. This will be a week long project, due this Friday, and will be a test grade. You may pick one partner, I have to approve the partnership before you start working. You will both receive the same test grade, pick wisely. You may begin."

Dan quickly glanced to Phil, knowing for certain that they would pick each other. They always did. His gaze met with Phil's and he nodded, granting Dan permission to get approval from the teacher. Dan walked up to her desk, noticing how Phil quickly moved to get a laptop from the cart. He loved how quickly they worked together.

Dan walked back to their desk, Phil now having the laptop set up. "My place tonight?" Dan asked Phil as he slid into his seat. "We can order pizza and knock this project out in a few hours. If we do it again tomorrow night we'll be done and then we can have this class period for the rest of the week to do our homework during the day."

"I love how your brain works," Phil grinned. "Let me text my mom during break, it should be fine though. We're both guys, not like we'll do anything when your parents aren't home." Phil laughed.

"Yeah," Dan gave a weak smile and tried to give a convincing laugh, probably failing dramatically.

*

"I can't believe we didn't have any homework today," Dan exclaimed as they started the walk to his house. "That's never happened before!"

Phil laughed, speeding up so he could keep up with Dan who had started to skip. "I know! We might be able to finish our project tonight, then we'd have almost the entire week free!"

"Can you imagine? We could get a start on our homework every day, or maybe read, it would be great!" You could call them both nerds but they loved to stay ahead in school. It was something important to the both of them, and probably one of the reasons they clicked so well together. They had been friends since grade school, meeting after Dan moved from across the country. It was frightening and overwhelming, to say the least.

Dan had just walked onto the playground for the first time. It was a dreadful day. Dan didn't get to start at the beginning of the school year, much less the beginning of the week. He had to be the new transfer student that joined the school on a random Wednesday in March. It was terrible and made a person realize how alone you could be.

Dan had carefully walked through the playground. He didn't really want to go down a slide - he was nine now and much too old for slides, at least that's what his brother said. He saw the start of woods at the edge of the playground. Dan tentatively walked towards one of them, sitting down on the ground. He was out of the way, no one had to talk to him, and he could be alone. It was perfect. Until a boy with ginger hair had come along.

"Hi!" The boy had said, standing in front of Dan and blocking the very little sun. It had been an rather gloomy day, something Dan appreciated. It matched his mood perfectly. "I'm Phil! You're the new kid, right?"

"No," Dan had said, sneering at the boy. "I'm the wildly popular kid, obviously." The boy, Phil, had just laughed before he sat down next to him. How could he! Dan had wanted to be alone and he had thought he made that quite clear. What other type of person sits against a tree away from everyone else?

"You're funny," Phil said. "Do you want to see my Pokemon cards? I just got some new ones yesterday! And a binder to hold them in!" Dan didn't want to admit it but he was rather curious to see his collection. He didn't have loads himself but he enjoyed trading.

"Okay," He said, standing up after Phil and following him to a picnic table. Other kids were surrounding it and Dan tried to remain calm about it.

"You'll get to meet some of my friends too, they're all very nice, I'm sure you like them," Phil assured, sitting down at one edge of the table and grabbing a navy blue binder. "The girl with the long brown hair is Louise and the girl with the short brown hair is Dodie. They're probably my best friends. And then Connor and Troye are over by that tree." He waved to the two boys that were playing ball.

"Why do you have girl best friends?" Dan asked, trying to figure out why Phil didn't say Troye and Connor were his best friends instead.

Phil just shrugged. "Why shouldn't I? They're nice and they aren't rough like some boys. Well, Connor and Troye aren't rough and noisy either. That's why I like them so much." Dan figured that this reasoning was good enough. It actually sounded pleasant to him. He hated when boys were rowdy and destroyed things. It was always better when you could just talk. Dan decided right then and there that he would give Phil and his friends a chance. Phil seemed kind enough.

Ever since that day they had all been friends. However, one thing changed. Dan was now definitely Phil's best friend and it been that way for a long while. Dan would never tell Phil this, but he was so glad that he talked to him on that day. He couldn't imagine where he would be if he didn't have Phil, and he was sure that Phil felt the same way. Dan looked at his best friend, listening to him speak about the latest video game update he had installed. Dan took in the way he kept his gaze on the pavement most of the time but occasionally flickered up to meet his, noticed how he always gave Dan a small smile. He was so lucky to have Phil in his life.

Dan could only hope that never changed.

*

"Ugh," Phil moaned from Dan's bed. "Can we please order pizza now? I am so done with this project."

"We're almost done. If we order pizza now we'll be nearly finished by the time it gets here. We could finish it and proofread after we eat. Sound good?" Dan proposed. Phil nodded glumly from his bed, an arm flung over his eyes. "Are you tired?"

Phil let out a grunt of confirmation. Dan wished he could go lie down on his bed next to Phil but figured that would be very weird and he didn't want Phil to think that Dan was acting weirdly. He couldn't notice any changes in Dan.

"Are you going to church on Wednesday? My brother is going to be leading the youth group." Dan questioned, going onto their favorite pizza website and starting to place their order. They had studied together so many times Dan knew what Phil always wanted and vice versa. It made Dan happy to know the little things about Phil, more than it did with his other friends. In fact, when it came to Phil, so many things were different about him. Dan automatically cared more about Phil when it came to anything, as terrible as that sounded. It's not that he didn't care about his other friends, it's just that he really cared about Phil. It's not like this was a bad thing, it just meant that they are close. But Dan was starting to wonder. Why hadn't he ever felt this way for anyone else before? Did that mean anything? Dan was shaken out of his thoughts by Phil responding.

"Yeah, we are. Mum doesn't want to miss your brother's first sermon. It's apparently a big deal." Phil spoke up. "I mean what is he even going to talk to us about? It's not like he knows way more than we do, he's only a few years older. Just because he's graduated with a degree from some fancy private school doesn't mean he can magically make a bunch of teenagers listen to him, no matter what they taught him."

Dan laughed, agreeing with Phil's statement. And half an hour later when the doorbell rang and Phil got up and stretched, Dan tried not to follow his shirt as it rose on his stomach. He didn't want to think about what this meant. He really, really didn't.

*

"Daniel! Time to leave!" His mother yelled up the stairs. Dan quickly slipped his shoes on and ran the stairs. He had known that if he was late his mother would get mad at him. If there was one thing that his family took seriously it was religion. Dan had been baptized when he was seven. His views on Christianity had changed as he grew older but he knew he believed in a God. It just made sense to him.

He knew Phil was kind of similar to him. He had also been raised in the religion, his parents a similar level of conservative to Dan's, which was pretty conservative. Phil had expressed his dislike of the beliefs that most of the church shared. The fact that the girls had to go through a ceremony where they received a flower, symbolizing their virginity and how it shouldn't go to anyone until marriage. The guys had no lesson on this. It was sexist and hetero-normative, something both of them despised.

Both Dan and Phil considered themselves open-minded, especially in comparison to the members of their church. Dan didn't know all of Phil opinions, but he knew they were more liberal than some of the youth group. Troye and Connor, mutual friends of theirs, had come out a year or so ago and Dan knew that Phil was nothing but supportive. Dan didn't know how Phil would react to a guy having a crush on him. Especially if that guy was his best friend. Dan wasn't sure if he had a crush on him, but it would certainly explain a lot. He never liked a girl before but he had just thought that was because he was being a good Christian. His mom had said that some guys don't really like girls until their later teens, but Dan still didn't like a girl, even though he was seventeen. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He could remember really liking one guy and wanting to be friends with him, or the one time where he got really jealous when a girl started talking to his old best friend before he moved.

Dan sighed, relaxing against the seat in the car, gazing out the window. He wished his head would just shut up or figure out what he was feeling. He was already looking forward to seeing Phil at church, even though they had walked home together only hours ago. He couldn't talk to him about what was going on in his head but he could figure out his views and opinions. First, he had to listen to his brother's sermon. Maybe he could ask his brother. He couldn't be too obvious about it though, his brother was basically a pastor now.

They arrived at the church, Dan quickly spotting Phil and making his way towards him. Dan had to be there early because of his brother, Phil just came early because Dan would be there early. It made Dan feel warm on the inside.

"Hi!" Phil said, scooting over on the pew so that Dan could sit. They were in the Sanctuary, the room where the services where held on Sunday mornings and the adult service on Wednesday. Dan and Phil would be in the youth room tonight.  Dan always liked being in the Sanctuary when no one else was in it. He always felt closer to God. It felt holier without more people in it. Dan sat next to Phil, their shoulders touching. He leaned into him, resting his head on his shoulder. He liked that he could do this, he knew that Phil didn't like most people touching him. He had three exceptions; Dan, his mom, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Dan was honored to be included in the same group as Sarah Michelle Gellar, who was basically all Phil would ever want in a woman.

"You okay?" Phil asked, probably noticing how much quieter Dan was than usual.

"Yeah," Dan sighed. "I'm just thinking. A lot. And it's annoying."

"Well, what are you thinking about?" Dan sighed again.

"Do think God loves me, no matter what?"

"Considering the fact that the bible says that God has created each and every one of us in His image, loving us unconditionally, would support that claim." Phil said, confident in his answer.

"But do you think that goes for gay people too?" Dan questioned, figuring that he might as well figure out what Phil thought.

"I would think so. If the bible says we are created in His image, why wouldn't that be included?" Phil debated. "If we go by that, God could be anyone. He could be a black trans woman. God is everyone and everything, He is everywhere. I know more and more people are using they/them pronouns for God. I think it makes sense."

"But what about all the people that say gay people go to Hell?" Dan was trying to figure out everything. Phil seemed to have answers to everything he asked so far.

"Well, there are contradicting verses. The bible says that anyone who accepts him goes to Heaven. Why wouldn't that include religious gay people? People in Christianity tend take the two verses in the bible talking about homosexuality to judge an entire group of people. One of those verses weren't even for us, it was for the people of the Old Testament. We don't have to wear one piece of fabric anymore, we get piercings, it's considered okay. We don't follow any of the other rules." Phil sighed, thinking some more. "I think the reason some gay people reject religion is because they've been rejected. Religion is so hurtful to so many people. I know God isn't happy with it. Why would He be? He is love, and that's all He wants for us. The fact that people use the bible, which He influenced, to hate must be hurtful."

Dan let himself relax into Phil more as he rambled on, already feeling better. His eyes caught onto the cross that rested against the wall at the front of the church. He felt at peace in the church for the first time. He let the feeling wash over him, making him feel rested.

"Why are you worrying anyways?" Phil asked, noticing that Dan had closed his eyes.

"Can you promise not to tell anyone? Please?" Dan asked, already worrying like crazy at Phil could say.

"I promise I won't." Phil promised, locking eyes with him when Dan opened his eyes.

"I think I might be gay." He whispered, feeling like there was a lump in his throat. His vision got blurry and he willed himself not to cry. He broke his gaze with Phil, eyes resting on the cross.

"Hey, it's okay," Phil said softly. He moved to hug Dan, their chins resting on each other's shoulders. "I still love you, you're still my best friend. Don't think you're getting out of being stuck with me so easy." Dan let out a watery laugh, closing his eyes and letting himself be held.

"Thanks," Dan said, pulling back.

"What made you start questioning your sexuality? Is it a boy?" Phil asked. He got excited, acting as if he had been struck by lighting. "This is why we never talked about girls! You didn't want to! Now we can talk about crushes!" His voice kept getting louder and louder, Dan getting more and more worried that someone would overhear, like his mom or brother.

"Shh, keep your voice down! We're in church," Dan laughed, Phil apologizing. "But yes, it is because of a boy." Phil got a glint in his eyes, the one Dan knew well. It was the look where Phil was trying to figure something else and he was determined to get it right.

"Who is it?" He asked, clearly curious.

"I'm not telling," Dan said, blushing.

"You have to! I've always told you about the girls I like." Phil turned so that he could pull his feet up onto the pew. If either of their mothers saw him, he would be in trouble. Dan mirrored his movements.

"Ugh, fine," Dan said. "It's, uh . . . it's Troye."

"Oh," Phil said, dejected. Was it just Dan's wishful imagination or did Phil actually look upset? He started to brighten up. "Am I allowed to tease you around him?"

"No!" Dan laughed, already dreading the lie. Phil gave him a smile, Dan smiling back. His mother came to warn them that they had five minutes to get upstairs into the youth room before the adults started pouring into the Sanctuary. They scrambled out of the pew, racing to see who could get up the stairs fastest. Dan ended up winning, but just by a few seconds. They took their seats on the only couch. The youth room had a pool table, table tennis, and a hockey table, but those were all in the back of the room. The front of the room was filled with bean bag chairs and old chairs that they had thrifted over the years. The only couch was basically Dan and Phil's, everyone knew that they sat there every Sunday and Wednesday. It was a low flowery couch with mismatched throws pillows. Dan loved it.

Dan settled close to Phil, looking up at his brother, standing on the platform at the front of the room. Dan could tell that his brother was nervous, it was obvious. His brother was wringing his hands and stuttering every now and then. Dan almost felt bad for him, but it was hilarious. His brother was rarely nervous. Dan was going to enjoy this.

"So, kids, well you're not really kids, so teens, today we're going to talk about something that a lot of guys have probably dealt with, whether it's your friends or social media," His brother started. Dan was wondering what it was, sex, fame? "That something is homosexuality, something that is threatening the youth of our nation."

Dan's face went pale, his limbs stiff. He could feel Phil stiffen next to him. He was not going to enjoy this one bit.

*

"How was Aaron's service, Dan?" His mother asked as they drove home. His dad was staying later to help take down some decorations with Phil's dad. They were going to ride home later, that way the rest of their families could leave at the normal time.

"It was good, yeah," Dan said, staring out the window, trying to process his thoughts. His brother had said all the things that any other preacher had said before. It still hurt though. Phil had grabbed his hand halfway through the service, the action concealed by a throw pillow. "Very informative."

"Aw, that's good! I'm so proud of you, Aaron. What did you talk about? I bet it was good." His mother said, turning into the McDonald's drive thru.

"He talked about how all gay people are going to hell." Dan bitterly said, not being able to hold back his bitter tone.

"Dan! Tone, please," His mom said, pausing to order. "I'm sure that your brother meant well, I'm sure that he didn't say anything incorrect."

"The bible can be interrupted in many different ways! Gay people can be religious, and he could've hurt someone! What if there was a kid there who had just realized he or she was gay? How do you think they dealt with being told that they are going to hell, even though they believe in God? It could be damaging." Dan argued, trying to get his mom to understand his view.

"Dan, please, people chose to be gay," His brother said.

"No, they don't! Ask literally any gay person, they don't chose to be gay. When did you chose to be to straight?" Dan was hoping that his brother would realize his wrongs, or his mom would at least come to his side.

"Why do even care?" His brother shot back. "You're straight." Dan could not come out, he just realized, he could not do that.

"I have gay friends! I know they didn't chose to be gay." Dan said, he wasn't lying, he just wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Dan, just accept that you don't agree with each other," His mother butted in. "I'm sure that your brother didn't mean to hurt anyone and it was a lovely lesson." She handed Dan his bag of food, ending the discussion.

*

"Dan! Why aren't you ready for school?" His mother asked, opening his door. Dan startled awake, sitting up in his bed. He must've fallen asleep after his alarm went off. He stayed up most of the night online trying to figure out what to do about being gay. He needed to get comfortable with his sexuality more and then start to slowly come out when he felt ready, at least that's what most people on the internet said. He looked at his mom in that moment, trying to figure out what she would say about him being gay. Would she kick him out? Would she hate him and disown him? Out of his mom and his dad, his mom was definitely the kinder and more compassionate one. If he wasn't accepted by her he'd be screwed.

"I must've fallen asleep again, sorry. I couldn't sleep well last night," Dan sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

"Well, you missed the bus and I have to get to work. You're going to be late either way, do you want to just stay home? Do you have any tests or anything today?"

"No, I don't," Dan said, checking the time, it was 7:20 a.m. His bus came at 7:15 and his school at started 7:40.

"Alright, just stay home today. Your brother will be home today as well, try not to fight. I know how you two get."

"Okay, mom, love you," Dan said, starting to get out of bed.

"I love you, too," She replied, closing the door behind.

*

"You're a traitor!" Phil shouted the moment he entered Dan's house.

Dan laughed. "What makes you say that?"

"You left me! We had a heart-to-heart yesterday and you didn't even have the nerve to show up to school today!" Phil laughed, taking his backpack off and letting it rest against the wall by the door. "I thought we had something special here."

"I'm sorry," Dan said, laughing at Phil. "I slept in on accident. Mom decided to let me stay home."

"Well, it was still rude," Phil said quieter. "I brought you the homework so you don't get behind."

"Aw, thank you," Dan said, accepting the folder Phil gave to him. "You're like my prince."

"Here to save you from the scary dragon of behind work." Phil giggled, going along.

"My hero," Dan placed a hand over his heart, laughing quietly with Phil. "My brother's home by the way. I don't know where though, just warning you."

"I can't swear, gosh darn it!" Phil joked.

Dan snorted. "I have never heard you swear. Ever."

"Because somebody's always been around!" Phil rebutted. Dan rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen, Phil trailing behind him. He got out the ice cream and ice cream cones, Phil's favorite snack besides popcorn.

"So, you know how you told me who you like yesterday," Phil started.

"Yes?" Dan raised his eyebrow, scooping out ice cream for both him and Phil.

"Are you planning on telling that person?" Phil asked, voice hesitant. Dan sighed, knowing that he had to come clean.

"I lied to you, I don't have a crush on Troye," Dan made sure to keep his voice down seeing as they were in the kitchen and he didn't know if his brother could hear or not. "I have a crush on another guy."

Phil perked. "Do I know him?"

Dan bit his lip, glancing at Phil from under his lashes. "Um, you do. Really well. He's kind of my best friend."

"Oh," Was Phil's response. Dan couldn't look at him. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you know my crush as well."

Phil had a crush on somebody? And he didn't mention it until now? Dan felt a little bit betrayed. "Yeah? Who is it?" Dan asked, his voice quiet.

"My best friend."

Dan looked up at him, just now realizing that the ice cream was dripping, and took in Phil's expression. His cheeks were a light pink, his eyes downcast and staring at the floor.

"Really?" Dan asked, trying to not let the hopefulness seep into his tone. It felt like at any moment Phil would jump up and tell him it was a joke, laugh at him, and leave.

"Yeah," Phil looked up, his eyes connecting with Dan's.

"Oh," Dan said, repeating what Phil had said only a bit before. "Well, I'm sure he likes you back."

"Is that so?" Phil said, gaining some of his usual confidence back and cocking an eyebrow. "Would you care to confirm that?"

"I'm sure I could think of some way to," Dan said, leaning over the counter, completely forgetting about the ice cream.

"Yeah, I have a few ideas too," Phil leaned over too, their noses touching.

"Yeah," Dan breathed. He moved his head closer, finally making his and Phil's lips touch. It was unlike Dan had anything had ever felt before. Too soon, Dan was unlocking their lips and looking at Phil. His eyes darted down to his lips, then his cheeks, and back to his eyes. Phil's cheeks were flushed with pink. Dan very quickly decided that he want to do that again. Dan grabbed Phil's hand and dragged him upstairs to his room. They had at least another hour or two until his mom got home, they could kiss quite a bit.

"Are we not talking about this?" Phil asked, following him up the stairs.

"What is there to talk about? I like you, you like me, let's kiss," Dan said, closing the door and shoving Phil against it. He had only made out with one person in his life and he fully intended to have made out with two by the end of the day. Phil shrugged and let Dan kiss him senseless.

*

They had eventually moved to the bed, taking breaks between kissing and talking about whatever random thing they wanted to talk about. They were cuddling and Dan was loving it. Dan was facing Phil and vice versa, Dan's arms wrapped around Phil's waist. Their legs were wrapped together. Dan felt like he was going to burst into giggles at any moment, which he had been doing for the past half hour.  Phil would just laugh with him and pull him closer.

It was one of those moments. Dan had burst into giggles once again when he had realized that Phil liked him back. They had kissed, they were cuddling. It was all hitting him and he couldn't help but giggle over and over. This time Phil had pulled him closer and put a finger under his jaw, guiding Dan's face to his. Their lips met and Dan happily sighed into the kiss, closing his eyes and basking in the feeling of Phil's lips on his.

All of a sudden, his door was being opened, his mother in the doorway, clearly angry. "Daniel Howell! Why is there melted ice cream downstairs on the counter? I know it wasn't your brother, he's lactose intolerant for heaven's sake-" She abruptly stopped when she took in Dan and Phil on the bed. "What are you doing?" Her voice had gone cold, her expression a guarded type of anger.

Dan sat up, knocking Phil's arms off of him. Their legs continued to be tangled together and Dan wanted to untangle them but knew that it would draw more attention. He could tell he was on the verge of crying. He knew his parents' views. "It's not what it looks like!" Phil had sat up as well and Dan could tell that he was scared. Dan's mom was probably going to tell Phil's. Phil had told Dan that his parents didn't care about other people being gay but they didn't want him to be gay. If word got back to them things could go from bad to worse.

"And what does it look like?" His mother asked, stepping into the room. Dan needed to think of a convincing argument.

"We were just tired! Phil came over after school and we were talking and then we laid down! That's all that happened." Dan tried to assure her, convince her that nothing was going on.

"I don't believe you," His mom said. "Phil, I think you should go home. Dan and I need to have a talk." Dan felt like crying as he watched Phil solemnly nod and get out of the bed, walking past his mom and then down the stairs.  Dan looked at the bed, refusing to look at his mom.

Dan heard his mother walking closer to the bed and then felt her sit. "Why did you do this?" She asked, her voice fake sympathetic. Dan shrugged, not wanting to tell her about how Phil made his insides squirm more with every passing day. "Are you gay?" He did not want to answer that question, possibly ever, so he just shrugged again.

"I don't think you need to be seeing Phil anymore," His mom decided after more silence from him. "He's clearly influencing you in a negative way. I don't like it."

His mom got up and left the room, leaving Dan to wonder about how his life had changed so dramatically in less than twelve hours.

*

"What did she say? Why didn't she call my parents? I wouldn't have come out to my parents last night if I had known she wasn't going to call," Phil asked at school the next day.

"She said that we need to stop hanging out and that we shouldn't speak at school but I'm obviously not going to listen to her," Dan replied, leaning into Phil's side. They were sitting on a bench outside of their school while waiting for the first period bell to ring. They had about ten minutes. "I don't know why she didn't call your parents, I was certain that she would have called them. What did they say?"

"I thought they would have cared more but they were completely chill with it. Well, not completely but they weren't mad or anything. I was afraid that they were going to kick me out."

"Well I guess that's good." Dan said, considering what to do about his mom and dad's decision. "I still want to see you. I say that we still hang out but 'forget' to mention it to my family."

"Sounds good," Phil said, snuggling into Dan and hiding his face in Dan's neck. Dan smiled, clasping Phil's hand in his.

*

Three weeks had passed and Dan and Phil had still managed to hide it from Dan's family. Dan was happier than he had been in a while, despite his family's views. He had Phil though, and his supportive friends, it was all fine.

Dan had come to the conclusion that God didn't hate him or Phil. Why would He? Him and Phil had so many discussions about it. Of course they still believed in Him, they still wanted to go to church. Why would their sexuality change that?

"My parents are considering sending me to a camp this summer," Dan mentioned.

"What?" Phil said, shocked.

"I know, I'm going to have to convince them not to send me. I'd be 18, though, they wouldn't be able to force me to."

"Well, you're always welcome at my house, you know that," Phil reminded him. Dan nodded.

"I know," He said, giving him a smile.

"Good," Phil said, smiling back.

*

"Hey, I have a great idea," Phil said at lunch, sitting across from Dan. He raised an eyebrow at Phil.

"And that would be?"

"Skip fifth period and make out under the bleachers," Phil suggested.

"And they say romance is dead," Dan said dryly. Phil laughed and Dan cracked a smile. "But yeah, let's do that."

*

"No, I can't be gay. They don't want me to be gay," he cried, trying to hide his face. Dan didn't want anyone to notice he was crying, even though someone was bound to. He was sat in the principal's office, his English teacher, principal, best friend and maybe boyfriend Phil, and the guidance counselor crowded around him. Dan wished they would give him some space.

Him and Phil had gotten caught kissing underneath the bleachers by the English teacher during 5th period, which why they were in the office. They normally would have called their parents but considering the fact that both of their parents were extreme Christians it was decided against. The principal had then called the guidance counselor up to come and speak to them. "My parents are gonna kill me. Please don't tell them, please."

Dan tried to hide another sob, shuddering in the chair. He could feel everyone's gaze on him. It was nerve-wracking. Phil hesitantly placed his hand on Dan's back, rubbing it up and down, clearly trying to be soothing. When his parents heard he was going to be kicked out, he was sure of it.

Phil took a seat in the seat next to him. He reached his arm over the armrest, it wrapped around Dan's shoulder and pulled him as close as they could be with two armrests between them.

"We have to alert your parents, I'm sorry. You were skipping class and breaking school code, we legally have to inform them," The principal said from his desk. Dan wiped his arms once more, wiping the tears off of his cheeks that were still there. He really wished he hadn't started crying, it was embarrassing, to say the least. Phil had seen him crying but only once, and that was when he broke his arm when he was ten.

Dan closed his eyes, letting his head drop against Phil's shoulder. He wished he had never been stupid enough to skip class to kiss Phil under the bleachers.

*

"I want you out of this house. If you are old enough to be a homosexual, you are old enough to find a place to live," His dad said, opening the door to the house.  "You have an hour to pack."

Dan darted up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door and pulling his suitcase out of the closet and stuffing all the clothes he could into it. Then he grabbed his backpack and packed away his chargers and some more clothes. He quickly texted Phil, telling him he was about to walk over to his house with his stuff. Grabbing his favorite pillow and a toothbrush, he trampled down the stairs. Once outside of the door, he started the walk to Phil's house. He never looked back.

*

Years had passed, Dan and Phil were still dating and still in love.

After they graduated they went to the same college, even sharing a dorm together. It made them closer and they felt more in love than ever before.

Both of them felt at home in their new church, a place that was accepting to all people, no matter what. They loved it.

Dan was a teacher, something he had always wanted to do. He loves his job, the kids, and his coworkers. He was happy and content and loved going into work everyday.

His parents hadn't talked to him since he was 17 on the day that they kicked him out. He was devastated for months after but eventually became happier than ever before, thanks to Phil and his family.

Phil was a video editor. He worked from home, which is very important considering they had just adopted a three year old from China. She was the light of their world and they couldn't wait for her to grow up with them.

They would be better parents than Dan's had been. He was sure of it. And that's what was important.

[brownthrussy]

1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

.

20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

.

24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW11

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

PLUS ALON ON WILDCARDDDDDDddddddd!@!!!!!

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Jonny Castro Otto, and rolling a transfer as usual

IN: :bulbasaur: :baulbasaur: :bulby: :balbuena:

Riperino Castroino. You've been a good lieutenant for me and mine but it's time to say goodbye. Doubling down with him and Doherty was an ill fated experiment and it's time to sort it. I took a bit of time to investigate between BHA WHU and NEW defenses and landed on the leaf pokemon. Fixtures look good and their underlying defensive stats have been tidy. Let's go

GK:

Alisson Beckz still in there for the good guys. Tricky fixture on paper but Livp defense if Livp defense. Pretty fine.

DEF:

Trenty goes again. Still not too sure about this guy in my team but he's gotten me two points over the three weeks I've had him so hard to argue with that.

Mendy in with a home banker ho hum.

Dockerty Doherty in with a home banker ho hum.

New friend and pokemon Fabian Balbuena will try to vine whip his way into my heart and by solar beam his way into my heart I mean Burnley to score a 88th minute goal off a broken set piece from Benjamin Mee to send me into the darkest of depths.

MID:

Mo goes. Nothing to see here.

With Kevin ded Dilv is looking a lot better in his efforts to maintain insane underlying stats and horrendous FPL point returns. Best three points I'll ever see, taste, feel, hear, smell in my life thanks Dilv love you bro.

Haz for a half is better than anything else I could have going so whatever in fuck goddamn glhf Haz.

Frayzuh I'll hold for this weekend. Not sure if I'll stand by him for the near term but will stick on him for the weekend. United defense been looking better as of late but still could be goals in this game so we'll see.

FWD:

Genius transfer last week Dings drops to the bench and it's the old amigos Kun and Arnie going again for me this weekend.

Hopefully Arnie can walk/limp around for 85 minutes and expend energy for 5 critical minutes leading to goals/assists/points. Kun...well....just hoping he makes it to the 60' mark. Vomit.

BENCH:

Ings / Billing / Wan

CAP:

Mo. Really not much thought in it this week. Kun a non-option due to minutes...Haz a non-option due to minutes....Mo always an option due to pharaoh status and arsecast lol defense status. Seems good.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

WILDCARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

OUT: everyone

IN: everyone else

I’m not sure the best way to write wildcard lambs as it’s such a fuck... I’ve made a trillion transfers this week so yeah, I duno, I’m not gonna account for all the moves and all that shit. I’ll just do lambs like normal and go through my starting 11 and then for the bench section instead of just listing the dudes I’ll write a little on them too.

Also this isn’t final final final who knows what deep darkness lays wake for me this evening...... Truth is I haven’t even transferred in half of these players yet because I need the last round of price changes to go through first. Can’t wait.

GK:

Flappy bird Lukaszszszzzszs Fabianski comes straight in.

We talked about Fab v. Ryan on the pod and I’m backing the pod here with our evaluation of West Ham v. Brighton and the loooong term outstanding fixtures for West Ham. One bad fixture in the next 11 GWs is goooooooooood.

Flappy’s a monster on bones, I think and hope, he can keep up with the big boys in this stretch run. After all, GKs score the least amount of points.

DEF:

Double City defense with Mendy and my favorite French wine Laporte... Mendy I believe is very self-explanatory legend genius fuck -- did you know on the season Mendy is third highest (Kun then Raz #1 and #2 respectively) fantasy goal involvement percentage for City when he’s on the pitch... Absolutely ridiculous human... And Laporte what more can be said - he’s an immense and fantastic player. I was about ten months too early when I brought Laporte in last season, and now the world is ready for him. He’s casually just played 90 minutes in every prem match this season like a fucking boss. Get all the way in there you classy lefty fuck.

A share in Liverpool’s defense also felt somewhat required and I’m abandoning Robbo for VVD in this moment... Robbo still 100% fantastic pick and nailed and first choice and whatever else you wanna say about the best LB in the prem BUT -- with the very busy fixture period breathing down our necks I feel that VVD playing 90′ every single week will outscore Robbo’s attacking returns -- assuming Robbo has to get rested a couple times in the next month and a half. I think that that makes sense so let’s roll with it. VVDue away at the Emirates not an easy clean but all matches are cleanable for this Liverpool team -- get in there.

Alonso the fourth and final pillar in my Rolls Royce defense... If you missed last pod I had the epiphany that Zo is basically as set-and-forget as they come and transferring him out just because he’s stupidly high-priced for his position is over-thinking it. He’s on pace for his normal 160-180 point season and is just a very very good long-term / season-long hold type guy... if he were a mid he’d cost ~8.5m or 9m with his points tallys. It’s silly with this dude, sometimes just don’t overthink it. Bank the points and call me in the morning.

MID:

4-4-2 formation feels the right amount of forwards and the right amount of value to me. So here we are.

Mo has been in since preseason and continues to be in. He’s just the best simple as that no further questions.

Hazard despite being somewhat knocked and probably playing reduced minutes this weekend still is in my WC side... The fact of the matter is I barely have any choice in this issue. I want him, I still feel when he’s fit (probably a week away) that I’ll sorta need him, and wildcard’s the time to get a 11+ million player in as it’s much more difficult on just frees... Haz is fantastic and a long-term hold so having one whatever GW isn’t a big deal to me.

The next two are my little sexpots. They’re dessert.

Tony M Martial is a sexy guy there’s no doubt about that. He’s dribbling classy fucker who’s on fire at the moment... this spot feels a little tentative for me because I have my worries -- United suck, Mou is a nightmare, Martial is SUPER hot right now but underlying stats are shit -- But at the same time he’s donging for fun and getting in great positions and looking great. And I trust my pod partner.. I’ll probably stick here as Tony seems *obviously* better then the guys he’s competing with -- Siggy / Willian / Maddo / Rich / Pereyra type guys -- but I’m not sure and I need to sit on it longer.

The other punty mad scientist legend in right now is none other then Riyad Mahrez... from where I’m sitting the KdB injury makes City’s first choice central-midfield Dinho / Dilva / Bilva and City’s first choice front line from left-to-right Raz / Kun / Mahrez... That’s what I’m seeing and that’s what I’m believing... Raz looks fabulous on the left and he can cut in on his right there, Mahrez was born and was bought to play RW/RF and cut in and take lots of shots and score goals and he’s flying in that role... Three 90 minute appearances on the bounce, full of form and confidence with the back to back double-digit hauls... It feels a risk worth taking to me with his extraordinarily high upside/ceiling... There will be rotation for sure but I feel good that he’ll mostly be in eleven. Fingers crossed.

FWD:

The two up top are funny.

Callum is in there. Form, eye-test, numbers, he has it all so far this season. King still injured also keeps him on pens... At least for the next few GWs I don’t even mind Bournemouth’s fixtures much so for me right now, this one was easy.

Glenner is number two forward going for me. After all this time, I’m back on Glenner... He’s just doing exactly what he always does -- score goals. He does it for a fucking living and has not slowed at all. Finding little space and getting shots off and dinking and donging and taking pens, Glenner is a Glenner merchant. He’s Harry Kane at 6 million cheaper... seems good... His stats are often abysmal, but usually against mid-to-bad sides his stats uptick and he takes more shots. Looking ahead to Brighton’s schedule for the next sixish GWs -- a lot of sides to rack up shots against. Get in there Glenner.

BENCH:

Bench slot one: Ruben Neves... Have happily shitted on Neves since GW1 bandwagon but here I am bringing him in as purely a bench guy and for me, for a bench guy, he ticks every box known to man... I wanted a stronger then usual bench dude (normally I’d just go for like Stephens here cheap/nailed) and Neves has legitimate double-digit haul upside against any team in the league by nature of being on pens and being on direct free-kicks (and really good at them). He plays 90 minutes every week, good on bones, good team (lotta 3 pointers in there because of Wolves cleans), and he shoots a ton... His shots are low as fuck xG of the Paul variety but for 5.0 getting someone who can shoot upwards of 6 times a match gives him a nice - like I said - high ceiling for an autosub guy. I like it. I’m into it. Get in there. Treat me.

Bench slot two: Isaac Success... potential 4.5 starter at forward need I say more? He’s good and even if he’s dropped once Deeney is fit he’ll always be Watford’s first attacker off of the bench with a chance for some points. He’s a good guy.

Bench slot three: Ryan Bennett of Wolves... He’s started and played 90′ every week this season, Wolves defense is good, he’s 4.2m, it’s a simple good pick... Autosubs have been outta control this season so let’s go get it. Wolves have some bad fixtures coming up but Benny is very startable in the good ones. Just good depth. Get in there.

CAP:

On big Mo.

Fantastic player, fantastic form, pretty good fixture. Ok I’m into it.

My one slight fear is that Arsenal go into turtle bus mode like they did second half vs. Chelsea out of pure fear of getting fucked sideways... But maybe Arsecast being at home makes this less likely? We’ll see. Either way - Mo’s a great horse to back in this moment and Arsenal’s defenders are completely horrendous.

Get in Mo.