#i’ve kinda avoided asking this since i was never sure if it’s okay to be so interested in this when I’m not a prosthetics user myself

[ghostiboos]

Is there some kind of community or volunteer program I could join to learn how to make designs and modifications for prosthetics? I’m more of an artist than an engineer, but I’ve always been kinda obsessed with the sculptural properties of prosthetics. Obviously when designing one, though, function and comfort come first, so if I ever got into it, I would want to make sure I’m making things people can actually use (not to mention afford).

[chilschuck]

Hello! I don't know if requests are open, if not just ignore this. am not sure if this makes sense, but I had this idea where the reader's succubus takes straight up the form of Chilchuck. They are very self-concious of this, and since i see them as a calm and reserved person they will try to avoid them like the plague. They don't want Chilchuck to know at all costs, mostly because they fear to be turned down. But at some point, they both get separated from the party running eventually into a succubus. If it's too much information just take what it feels right for you!!

✦ AAAA i loved this idea so much that i had a bit too much fun with it, LOL! it ended up being more than a drabble somehow, so i really hope you enjoy it!! i hope it flows okay and doesn’t seem too rushed, as it’s been a while since i’ve written this much!! lots of love to you!! <3

— HYPOCRITE: chilchuck x gn!reader

꒰ warnings: ꒱ hurt/comfort ?? fluff + sfw! use of they/them for reader!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1.8k (holy hell…..)

✦ if this is rough i am so sorry, i kinda let my brain take over and this was the result! nervous to post something this long since i’ve only ever posted lil tidbits, but i really hope you like it!!! <33

The walk back was deafeningly quiet. You couldn’t bear to even look in his direction, cheeks still hot in mortification at just what you had seen earlier. Usually you were stronger than this, but the idea of him knowing just what exactly you saw had your stomach in knots.

It wasn’t like you had never come in contact with a succubus before, but for it to take this particular form had your mind reeling. The heavy pit of guilt and shame kept twisting in you, and the more you thought about him, the more you felt sick. Even so, you could feel eyes burning into the back of your head just waiting for you to spill.

“What’s gotten you so quiet?” Chilchuck questioned, his brows raised at your current show of behavior. It was unlike you to shut yourself up like this, especially since you were known for being cool and collected in any situation. He would never admit it, but the lack of your voice amongst the others made him nervous.

You waited a moment to reply, the shakiness in your voice not getting past him. “It’s nothing, Chilchuck.”

And like hell it wasn’t, especially if it had you clamming up and avoiding his gaze. Knowing it would be better not to pry, he stayed silent. You were thankful for this.

“Everyone’s together now, right?” Laios called as you caught up to the rest of the party, your eyes still downtrodden. Not able to bring yourself to look in his direction, you kept your head down when motioning in the direction of the half-foot behind you. “Yeah, Chilchuck and I managed to find each other.”

Marcille was the second to notice your lack of enthusiasm, the calm air you usually exuded gone. Worried, she called out your name, pulling you out of the state you were in momentarily.

“Everything alright?” She whispered as the rest of the party walked ahead of you. Knowing how much it was killing you to hold everything in, you gave a frustrated sigh.

When you were sure everyone was out of hearing range, you spilled everything on your mind. How your succubus took the form of Chilchuck, how you’d been fighting off the feelings you held for him, how scared you were that he’d find out. Her head nodded with every concern you aired, but there was a certain sparkle in her eyes when you admitted to having feelings for him… Great.

“You’re certain he didn’t see?” She asked softly as you caught up to everyone else, and you gave her a nod of your own.

Her advice had been simple: maybe this was a sign to tell him how you truly felt. You wanted to scoff in that moment, knowing just how repulsed by inner party relationships the half-foot truly was. Telling him what happened seemed like the least intelligent thing to do, but you admired Marcille for her ability to see this in a hopeful light.

Envy coursed through you, wishing you could look at it hopefully, too. It just didn’t seem realistic, so you’d keep to yourself and try not to talk to him until these feelings died down inside. Certainly they would, right?

Days continued on, your relationship with Chilchuck turning into remorseful smiles and awkward silence. The tension was building, and he was convinced he couldn’t take much more of it.

The fact you hadn’t been seeking him out like you usually did struck him hard. You two would often spend nights chatting, voices soft and warm as you talked about everything that you could think of. He’d just started coming to terms that maybe he didn’t have to keep so much away from you, away from everyone else. This hit him harder than he’d like to acknowledge, and his attempts at reconciling whatever he did wrong fell flat.

Chilchuck only ever saw you talking to Marcille lately. He knew you two shared a friendship somewhat akin to his with you, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary at first. But that, paired with the fact you wouldn’t even lay your bedroll down near his, nearly drove him to insanity.

Gritting his teeth, he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand. This was getting nowhere, and if it continued he was sure he’d never let himself hear the end of it.

Laios, as softly as he could muster, called his name. “They’ve been ignoring you, haven’t they?” He spoke, brows furrowed as he studied Chilchuck’s expression. “Do you know why?”

He huffed, glare turning to focus on the blonde across from him. “If I knew, I’d tell you. But I don’t have a damn clue.”

Laios hummed, tapping his chin as Senshi listened in on their conversation. “Maybe you should try asking them. It never hurts to be honest with how you’re feeling, too.”

This was going to drive him up the wall. Every time he did try and corner you, you came up with some excuse as to why you were needed elsewhere. Chilchuck was left watching you leave him behind every single time. It only proved to make him feel even more scattered.

Before he could open his mouth to retort, he heard you stand up, wishing Marcille goodnight. Chilchuck begrudgingly noted that you seemed even farther away from him than usual. He sunk into his neckwarmer.

Looking down at his hands, he debated on just what he could have possibly done. This all happened after that damn succubus incident, and he wondered just what exactly you saw. You seemed not only distant from him, but from the whole party. Being an integral force in the group, having you seem so far away from everyone only served to build up rifts.

You were headed to the water fountain to wash your face, and Chilchuck assumed this would be the one chance he had. Following behind you, he called your name once enough distance from everyone had been built up. You took note of the aggravation that was laced in his tone.

Immediately you tried to think of a way to get out of talking to him. There had to be some excuse you hadn’t used, and as he approached you, you found yourself more and more cornered.

“Are you just planning to ignore me the rest of the damn time?” Chilchuck asked plainly, but you could hear the hint of concern. He continued to walk towards you, not giving you much of an opening to scatter. Panic settled in.

“You… Wouldn’t get it.” You whispered, finding yourself looking everywhere but at him. Chilchuck found this increasingly frustrating.

“What do you mean, ‘You wouldn’t get it?’ How am I supposed to get anything if you don’t tell me? I can see how you’re acting. Is whatever you really saw worth separating yourself from the entire party?”

His words cut you like a knife. You could hear the aggravation in his voice, chest seizing knowing it was because of you, because of your stupid fear. You swallowed harshly, trying your best to build up the courage you just couldn’t seem to find.

His body, caging you in and causing your back to hit the wall, continued to grow nearer. It felt like all the air left your lungs, struggling to gather just what you wanted, needed to say.

“You always say how you don’t want inner party relationships to ruin things,” you muttered, finding his closeness increasingly difficult to handle. “The last thing I want to do is put everyone in jeopardy like that.”

Chilchuck scoffed, confusion etched into his expression. “What? You saw a party member as the succubus or something? Don’t tell me—“

That tension that had been suffocating you before built itself back up to the point where you struggled for air. Before he could say just what had made you so ashamed the past week, you felt it bubble up in your throat.

“Yes, Chilchuck, it looked like you! Are you happy?! I didn’t want to tell you, couldn’t tell you. I…” Your hands shook, as if in shock of all that you were laying out in front of him. “I’ve been holding everything down inside for everyone’s sake! I’m not as strong as you, as strong as everyone else, okay?! I had no choice but to distance myself! I’m in love with you, and I know you don’t feel the same, so I just wanted that part of myself to stay hidden!”

You had hoped when, if, this had all finally come out, a weight would be lifted. Instead, you felt ten times heavier at seeing the realization in his eyes. Biting your tongue, tears welling up in the way they never could before, you pushed past him.

“I’m going.”

Yet he did just what you didn’t want him to do; grab your wrist and pull you back to that moment you tried so hard to forget in those few seconds. So he was going to reprimand you now? Tell you how irresponsible you are? Before you could spit out what was on your mind, his hands had wound around your collar and pulled you down to smash your lips against his own.

Everything was still in that moment. It was rough, deprived, filled with emotions that made your mind stutter. You tilted your head further into the kiss, still letting him take control. Despite the suddenness of it, you couldn’t help but pull him closer into you. After a beat, he pulled away, panting and cheeks rosy in what you could only guess was sheer relief.

“You’re so frustrating.” He whispered, still clutching onto the collar of your sleep shirt. “Hardheaded to no end. Drives me insane.”

You couldn’t form a sentence, still trying to catch up to what exactly just happened between you two. Was that… his way of telling you he felt the same? Even if it was sudden, it was very like Chilchuck. Blood rushed to your cheeks.

“So…?” Your voice began, matching the softness of his own. He clicked his tongue, and you could tell by the exasperation on his face that he was about to just up and groan at your cluelessness.

“I… have feelings for you, too. I know what I said before, about prioritizing work over everything else.” Chilchuck spoke, his voice having a slight wave to it. “I’m a damn hypocrite…”

“Apparently.” You replied, hearing him grumble under his breath, and for the first time in days, what felt like weeks, you laughed.

The sound made his head buzz. His heart beat in his ears, and for the first time in a while, he let himself smile too. Maybe he could get used to this being honest thing, if it meant staying close to you like this.

“I’m glad things worked out the way they did,” you hummed, the two of you walking back to where your party had decided to settle for the night. “Strange to think it’s all thanks to a succubus. Maybe I should give them more credit.”

Chilchuck rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Sure. Tell me more about that next time, though. I want to know how handsome you really think I am.”

You couldn’t get back to camp fast enough.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[goldenempyrean]

Festivities And A Fever

〚 Notes - Just something to fuel my longing need for supercorp :,) 〛

〚 Pairing- Supercorp 〛

〚 Summary - Visiting your girlfriend's parent's house for the first time is bound to make anyone feel nervous but maybe it's not just nerves that's bothering Lena. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 2460 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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“You’re quiet today.” Kara murmured softly, her hand gently squeezing the woman in the passenger seat’s thigh as the two drove along an empty road. 

Lena sighed, trying to hide the discomfort she was feeling. "Just a little tired, that's all love." she replied, offering Kara a weak smile as she interlocked hands with the  

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Kara asked, concern evident in her voice. "You've been acting off since yesterday. Did something happen?" 

"Just a little headache, I think," Lena finally admitted, trying to downplay the rhythmic pounding at the front of her temples, "Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night, I’ve kinda been fretting about making a good impression on your mom." 

Kara's expression softened with understanding, but her worry only intensified. "Oh, Lena, you don't have to fret about that. Eliza already likes you, you two have spoken on the phone loads. Besides, you're amazing just the way you are. No need to impress anyone." She smiled, leaning over to press a quick kiss to her cheek. 

Lena appreciated Kara's reassurance, but she couldn't shake the feeling of responsibility to make a good impression on Eliza, especially since it was their first Christmas together as girlfriends. "I know she likes me, but I still want her to see that I'm good for you, Kara. And I want everything to go smoothly," Lena said, trying to mask the hint of a sniffle in her voice. 

But of course, Kara's super hearing picked up on her sniffling, she looked over, her brow crinkling with unease, she hated when Lena wasn’t fully honest with her, "Darling, are you sure you're just tired? You can tell me, y’know." she said, casting a worried glance at her girlfriend as the latter stared out of the widow, resting her head against the glass. 

Lena quickly shook her head, hoping to avoid further questioning. "No, I promise, it's just a little headache, nothing serious," she replied, attempting to hide her reddening nose with the back of her hand. 

Kara wasn't entirely convinced, but she didn't want to push her too much. "Alright, if you say so," she let the subject go but she made a mental note to keep a closer eye on her. 

As the drive continued, Lena's headache only seemed to worsen. The rhythmic motion of the car and the warmth of the heater made her eyelids heavy. She tried to stay engaged in the conversation with Kara, but her body felt sluggish, and her thoughts were becoming harder to focus on. 

Feeling more exhausted with each passing minute, Lena eventually leaned her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes briefly. She tried to fight off the urge to sleep, not wanting to miss out on precious moments with Kara, it wasn’t the two got to be alone like this and she knew how much Kara enjoyed driving with her. However, as much as she tried to fight it, the fatigue eventually overwhelmed her, and she drifted off into a light doze. 

As Lena drifted off to sleep, Kara's super hearing picked up on a soft snoring sound emanating from her girlfriend. It was a sound she had never heard from Lena before. It was cute, adorable even, but it also raised Kara's worry a few notches. She’d never once in their whole 2 years of sharing a bed heard her snore. 

Kara tried to suppress a smile at the sound, she was so adorable, but her concern remained. She continued to drive carefully, glancing over at Lena from time to time to make sure she was okay. The snoring persisted, occasionally interrupted by a muffled sniffle. 

Before long they finally arrived at Eliza's home, and Kara parked up the car before gently nudging Lena awake. "Hey, sleepyhead, we're here," she said softly, reaching over to stroke her cheek. 

Lena stirred and blinked her eyes open, rubbing her eyes groggily. She quickly tried to stifle the snoring, realizing that she must have been making those noises in her sleep. "Oh, sorry," she murmured, her face flushing with embarrassment, “We’re here?” 

Kara smiled warmly, reassuring Lena, "It's alright, I thought it was pretty cute and yes we’re here now love.” 

Stepping out into the chilly Midvale air sent a shiver running through the ravenette’s body and she instantly brung her arms up around herself, trying to fight off the icy chill.  

Ready to meet the family?" Kara asked, trying to lighten the mood. She could tell Lena was still not feeling well, but she didn't want to spoil the holiday spirit. 

Lena nodded, trying to sound enthusiastic. "Absolutely! I've been looking forward to this." She didn't want to disappoint Kara or make her worry more than she already did. 

Hand in hand, the two came into the house, greeted by the warm flicker of the burning fireplace and the inviting smell of a fresh holiday meal being prepared in the kitchen. Eliza was already waiting for them, wearing a warm smile as she embraced her daughter and then Lena. 

"Kara, sweetheart, it's so good to see you again," Eliza smiled, holding Kara close. "And you must be Lena! I've heard so much about you, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Oh you’re beautiful dear." 

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Danvers," Lena replied politely, trying to suppress a cough that threatened to escape her throat, “Thank you for having me here, I really appreciate it.” 

Eliza smiled warmly. "Please dear, call me Eliza. We're family now." She turned to Kara. "Kara, why don't you show Lena around? I'll finish up in the kitchen. Alex is here too with Maggie, but they’ve just nipped out to get some more drinks for everyone.” 

Kara nodded as she took Lena's hand and led her through the house, giving her a tour of the place she had grown up in. Lena smiled and listened attentively, trying her best to appear engaged all whilst trying her best to ignore the aches which were forming in her joints.  

As they passed by the living room, Lena noticed the Christmas tree adorned with twinkling lights and ornaments, and a pang of nostalgia hit her. She recalled the many years she spent Christmas alone, without the warmth of a loving family. Lillian hadn’t been one for gifts, never mind celebrating. She had grown up feeling isolated and distant from her own parents, and as such the holiday season was always been a difficult time for her. 

After the tour, Kara took Lena to the guest room where they would be sleeping for the duration of their visit. The room was cosy, with holiday decorations and a wide bed in the centre, and they placed their luggage on the floor.  

Lena attempted to gather some energy and enthusiasm as she gazed around the room, but her headache had worsened and her energy was dwindling by the minute. "This room looks lovely," she murmured, weakly smiling at Kara. "Thank you so much for bringing me here."  

Kara recognised Lena's discomfort and didn't want it to escalate it further "You're welcome, love. I'm glad you like it," she replied, concern etched on her face. "But now, I think we need to actually address how you’re feeling, don’t you?” 

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, her eyes casting down to her feet.  

"Do I really need to say it?" Kara said, sitting on the edge of the bed besides Lena, “You should try and rest for a bit while its quiet.” She murmured softly, telling her sniffling girlfriend to lay down. 

Lena did as she was told. feeling a little guilty for causing Kara to worry. She thought she’d done a better job at hiding it. But she couldn't deny that having Kara by her side was a comfort. She closed her eyes, trying to relax and let the pain subside. 

Time passed, and Lena's headache didn't seem to improve. Not only that but she kept switching between feeling blazing hot and shiveringly cold and it felt like there was a tickle in her nose. But like everything else, Lena tried to ignore it, instead, she shifted her focus to the sound of Kara's calming voice, telling her stories about their childhood memories, hoping to take her mind off the discomfort. 

However, as the tickle in her nose intensified, Lena couldn't hold back anymore. She let out a series of soft, stifled sneezes, one after the other. 

"Bless you," Kara said with a gentle smile, "Hold on, want me to go get you some tissues?" 

"Thank you," Lena replied with a sniffle, "And yes please, if its not too much of a hassle." 

Kara quickly fetched some tissues and handed them to Lena. As Lena wiped her nose, she felt a wave of fatigue wash over her again. "I'm sorry for getting sick." she murmured quietly, her voice distinctly hoarse now. 

But the Kyrptonian only shook her head, “You have nothing to apologise for love.” 

The two stayed like that for an hour or so because they heard Eliza’s warm voice calling them downstairs for dinner. 

As they made their way downstairs, Lena clung to Kara's arm for support, trying to maintain her composure. She didn't want to appear weak or vulnerable, especially not in front of Kara's family. The scent of the delicious holiday meal filled the air, making her stomach growl, but her appetite seemed to have disappeared along with her energy. 

Eliza greeted them warmly, noticing the slight change in Lena's demeanour. "Is everything alright you two?” She asked kindly as the pair came to sit opposite Maggie and Alex at the table. 

Eliza, ever the caring mother figure, noticed Lena's pale complexion and the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead. "Lena, dear, are you feeling alright?" Eliza asked, genuine concern in her voice. 

Lena offered a weak smile and tried to play it off. "I'm okay, Eliza, just a little tired from the drive, I think," she replied, attempting to suppress a cough that threatened to escape. 

Kara, knowing her mother's intuition, decided to chime in. "It was a long journey, I’m sure we’re all a little tired." Kara said, hoping to put her worries at ease. 

But as dinner progressed, Lena's condition seemed to worsen. She tried her best to participate in the conversation, but her responses became shorter and more subdued. The pounding headache, the chills, and the incessant sneezing made it challenging for her to focus on anything else. 

Eliza was smart and she easily picked up on the obvious struggling Lena. She exchanged a concerned look with Kara silently questioning what was wrong and the blonde subtly mouthed the words "she's sick." Eliza nodded in understanding as she gave Lena a sympathetic smile but decided that if she’d stayed silent, there must’ve been a reason and she chose not to push the matter at the table. 

But once the food was eaten, everyone gathered in the living room to talk and share memories. Lena tried her best to participate in the conversations, but her discomfort was becoming increasingly evident. The sneezing persisted, and she could feel her nose becoming more congested by the minute. 

"I'm sorry." Lena mumbled, her voice raspy, "I really didn't mean to get sick like this and ruin the evening."  

Eliza came up to Lena's side, sending her a comforting smile. "Oh, dear, you have nothing to apologise for," Eliza answered warmly, "it's completely normal to get sick every now and then." It happens to everyone. What matters is that you’re safe and here with us.” 

 Kara nodded in agreement. "Eliza’s right. We just want you to feel comfortable and rest if you need to.” 

Lena felt a wave of gratitude wash over her at their understanding and reassurance. "Thank you," she said softly, "I'm just not used to being sick around people. It's always been a bit of a vulnerability for me." 

Eliza patted her shoulder gently. "I understand, but you don't have to worry about that here. We're family, and that means taking care of each other." 

With a gentle smile, Eliza went to the kitchen and returned with a cup of honey tea. "Here, dear," she said, handing it to Lena, "This should help soothe your throat and ease your congestion." 

Lena gratefully accepted the tea, taking a careful sip. The warmth and sweetness provided some comfort, and she felt the soothing effect on her throat. "Thank you, Eliza," she said sincerely, touched by the care and kindness she was receiving – it was so different to how she would’ve been treated with her old family. 

Eliza smiled warmly, sitting beside Lena. "Sometimes, despite it all, what you really need when you're sick is a mom," she said gently, "And I'm more than happy to be that for you today." 

Lena's eyes welled up with tears as she nodded, feeling the warmth of the motherly embrace Eliza was offering. "Thank you," she repeated, her voice soft and full of emotion. 

After spending some more time with the family, Kara noticed that Lena was growing more fatigued. She gently suggested they go outside for some fresh air to help clear Lena's head. Lena agreed, knowing the cold air might provide some relief for her stuffy nose. 

The two bundled up in warm coats and stepped out onto the porch, finding solace in the crisp night air. They sat on the porch swing, the bright night stars twinkling above them, and the peaceful atmosphere around them was calming. Lena leaned her head against Kara's shoulder, feeling the comfort of each other’s warmth. 

As they swayed gently on the swing, the rhythmic motion and the soothing atmosphere lulled them both into a state of drowsiness. The blonde noticed Lena falling asleep, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then leaned her head against Lena's, letting her eyes drift shut as well. The rhythmic motion of the swing and the fresh night air helped Kara relax, and soon she too was dozing off, holding Lena close in her arms. 

Unbeknownst to them, Eliza had been quietly observing from the living room window. Seeing the two of them sleeping peacefully on the porch swing, she couldn't help but smile at the sight. She grabbed a cosy, soft blanket and silently made her way outside. 

Eliza gently draped the blanket over Kara and Lena, making sure they were snug and warm. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on each of their foreheads, feeling a sense of joy and contentment knowing that Kara had found someone like Lena to share her life with. She couldn’t be more proud of them. 

With a motherly smile, Eliza whispered, "Sleep well, my girls," before quietly returning inside to let them rest. 

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[neowinestainedress]

𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐂𝐇. 𝟔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lee haechan x oc ; na jaemin x oc ; haechan x ex girlfriend!oc, na jaemin x haechan's ex girlfriend!oc 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, smut, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: everything falls apart and putting back the pieces to start brand new is harder than expected. but it’s time to move on and address feelings that have been hiding for too long, but most importantly, try to not mess up another time. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fing*ring, sq*irting, unprotected s*x, dirty talk, oral s*x, switchy/subby hyuck (no dom/sub dynamics tho), hair pulling, kinda hate s*x (there are unresolved feelings coming out), fingers sucking, handj*b 𝐖𝐂: +19k 𝐀/𝐍: this chapter is a long ass ride, so brace yourself!!! listen to this if you want to cry harder in the first part. since we’re coming to the end (and i think there's a lot to discuss this time) PLEASE reblog and leave feedback to show support and let me know what you think! enjoy ♡

Gathering the courage to be the one to bring this news was never in Hyejin’s plans. Her plans were clear, the picture of her future with Haechan had been in her mind for years by now as she added details with each passing day, sure with every passing second, he would’ve always been by her side. So being the one that would’ve torn that picture in shreds in a few moments felt like the most agonizing nightmare she ever had to live. 

But it was for the better, right? It couldn’t be. It wasn’t meant to be. Love meant to be able to let go when it was clear nothing was holding people together anymore, and she loved Haechan dearly and deeply. 

“Hi,” she said, voice barely higher than a whisper, when Haechan opened the door of his place. “Are you alone?” 

Haechan nodded. “Yeah, why?” 

She would’ve found the teasing tone in his voice and the sexy smirk on his face exciting, but it wasn’t the moment for that. Everything they knew would’ve fallen apart in a few instants. 

“I need to talk to you,” she replied, stepping in as he moved to the side before closing the door. 

He raised a brow, staring at her with surprise on his face, immediately understanding something was going on. “Are you okay?” 

Hyejin nodded. No, she wasn’t. “I think it’s better if we sit.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again to make sure nothing happened. 

“Just, please, let’s sit.” 

Haechan hummed, not really convinced, and sat on the couch next to her. 

“I thought about this a lot,” she started saying, forcing herself to look into his eyes, but it felt too painful, and her gaze met the ground as she let out those painful words, “I think this should end.” 

Haechan blinked repeatedly, thinking he heard wrong. She couldn’t mean… “Excuse me?” 

She gulped, lifting her head, and squeezing her eyes to push the tears back. “I don’t think this is working.” 

“This is… us?” He asked to make sure they were talking about the same thing. 

Hyejin hummed, rubbing her nose which was starting to tickle from the cries she was holding back. 

Haechan laughed, it was a panicked laugh full of disbelief as he shook his head. “No, is it April first?” 

She shook her head, swallowing hard. “I mean it.” 

“I… I thought we were fine,” he said, feeling lost because nothing of this made sense in his mind. Why was she breaking this up? 

“I thought that too,” she breathed out. “But I honestly feel we’re not meant to be.” 

“But why?” Now the one holding back tears was Haechan, still searching for her eyes that were avoiding his. 

“For so many little things, Hyuck. But I don’t want to fight.” 

“Don’t you think I need to know why you’re ending us after three years? I’ve already been left without a word, I don’t think I deserve it.” 

She snickered bitterly. “See, you brought the first problem up yourself.” 

Haechan’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?” 

“Zoya,” she said more sternly than she planned, and he scoffed, standing up from the couch. 

“You’re breaking up with me because of her?” He asked, voice full of anger and shock. 

“Yes, because I’m not crazy, and I know you, Hyuck. I know your eyes when they are full of love, and every time they stop on her…” Hyejin sighed, torturing her lower lip and bouncing her leg nervously, “they will never shine so bright when they are on me.” 

He shook his head, murmuring ‘nos’ under his breath, feeling his lungs hurt as he pushed back sobs. “That’s not true, she’s in the past. She… she hurt me so badly, I…” 

“And? Does it matter? The heart doesn’t care much about what hurts us.” 

“But I don’t love her,” he screamed. “I don’t want to love her, and I love you. I love you.” 

Hyejin shook her head, tears falling freely as she couldn’t hold herself together anymore. Hearing those words, those damned three words she longed for for so long caused more pain than all those years spent wishing on a wishful fantasy. 

“Please, don’t let your fears come between us,” he begged, moving closer to her, kneeling in front of her. 

“But they’re not fears,” she said, “you choose her over me, you don’t even see how much you still want her.” 

“I wouldn’t cheat on you.” 

“I know,” she replied, smiling bitterly because a part of her wished he did. It would’ve been so easy, she would’ve had a reason to hate him, but instead, she had this beautiful thing in her hands, and she had to tear it apart. “I know you’re not cheating, but I know your heart is not on me.” 

“That’s not true,” he insisted. “We were friends before being lovers.” 

Yeah, and so were we. She thought. And only one of us is destined to be more; not us. 

When she didn’t answer, he sighed. “Are you seriously breaking up with me because of her?”

“It’s not only her, Donghyuck.”

He groaned. “And then what’s the problem?” 

“It’s us. It’s the way… I’m always the one making time for us. I’d go to the moon for you, and it’s not a burden for me, but I deserve more.” 

Haechan didn’t say anything, just cried silently. He had failed. He had tried so hard to love her, and yet he had failed.

“And even when we’re together it just doesn’t feel right. Not like it used to be when we started dating, and not even like when we were friends.” 

Haechan kept shaking his head. Thinking he was going insane. “No, I’m… I’ve been too busy with work, and I had a hard time.”

She grabbed his hands. “I don’t want you to constantly be with me, I want you to be happy when you’re with me, even if it’s just five minutes a day. And I… I feel we’re the happiest when our relationship looks like we’re friends. When we have those moments, when I don’t try to kiss you or search for your hand, I…” she sighed, feeling her heart sting. “I’m so, so happy you tried to make this work for us. I… I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same happiness I felt when we kissed the first time, or when you told me you loved me back, but I can’t keep living in a lie.” 

“But it’s not a lie, I love you,” he said almost screaming, choking on his words as tears made it hard to breathe. “I do, I love you.” 

“I know you do. If there’s one thing in this world I will never question is the love that ties us, but as painful as it is for me to admit, the love that ties us is not romantic, Hyuck. It will never be.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he only fell on his knees, hugging her as she sat on the couch and lulled him in her hold. Keeping him close while her fingers ran in his hair. 

She always knew him before he knew himself. It had always been like this. Haechan could stare in the mirror and still don’t get himself as easily and swiftly as she did. And even if it hurt, that was the truth he wasn’t ready to accept. Time. Hyejin knew he only needed time to realize this was the right thing. Otherwise, they would’ve forced this thing to work until it would’ve torn them down and ripped away even the last residues of the beautiful relationship they always had. The truth didn’t help to make this hurt less. It didn’t stop his tears from feeling like bullets ricocheting in her heart and it didn’t stop his pleas to don’t leave him from feeling like life leaving her. She was the executioner and she had to cut deep. To promise him that eventually, they will be friends again. But not now, not so soon.

“I think it’s better to take a bit of time away from each other. We’re not what we used to be, we’re not kids or dumb teenagers anymore, and as much as I love you, I think it’s time we find our new selves.” 

Haechan sobbed louder, hands clenching around her shirt, and pulling her closer to him. “You want to stop being friends too?” 

“I need time, Hyuck. I need to find myself, I need to find my place in this world, and it kills me knowing my place here is not by your side.” 

“But why? Can’t I make it work? I’ll be a better boyfriend this time.” 

She cried, holding back a sob. “I can’t give you what you need, and you can’t give me what I need. I will always be glad for everything you gave me, but I… I need to stop loving so much, I need to stop letting love consume me until there’s nothing left for me.”

“I can prove you,” he mumbled, sniffling as he pulled back to look into her eyes. “I can make this work. We can make this work. Like we have always done. It’s us, it will always be us.”

“No,” she whispered, caressing his cheeks as her eyes melted into his brown ones, a strange mix of something that was home and something that was a foreign land. “Not this time, Hyuck. It won’t be us anymore.”

“But I… I don’t know how to live without you.” 

She smiled. “You know. And we both know it will be scary but… I think it’s what we both need. You’ll thank me one day.” 

“No, I’ll… I…” he sobbed, lowering his head, torturing his hands more. 

“I can’t give you anything more, it will kill me.” 

Haechan cried louder. “And what am I supposed to do without you?” 

“Find your happiness,” she said. “Take her back, because I’m sure she loves you just as much.” 

“No,” he sobbed, “don’t do that. You used to — you used to do that when you loved me in silence, and I couldn’t see what you gave me.” 

“I know, but I know that it’s the right thing right now. I know there’s something bright and beautiful waiting for us, and if you don’t hurt, if you don’t bleed, you can’t heal and step out of the darkness.” 

Haechan didn’t reply. He didn’t agree. He didn’t understand this. He felt so many emotions but he couldn’t deal with any of them. Too all over the place, crashing on him like a sudden waterfall. And he looked at her, trying to find a piece of what he loved the most to hold on to, and she was still there. She was always there. Full of love, for him. But this was the end, she wasn’t his anymore, and he wasn’t hers. Everything he knew in these past years was vanishing in front of his eyes and he couldn’t stop her. Once again, he was losing whom he loved so much, and he was powerless, watching her go. 

“Do you hate me?” 

“I don’t,” she reassured him. “But I need to let you go.” She stood up and Haechan grabbed her hand, squeezing before she let it fall. 

“Don’t go,” he whispered. 

“I have to,” she said, smiling weakly. “I love you.” 

The door closed, and the cold air of the night sank deep into her bones. There were no words for the ache she was feeling, just like there were no words for the feeling that, behind all the pain, was telling her it was the right thing to do. 

Sometimes the most painful thing to do is the right thing to find a better start. To find the true road destined for us. And Hyejin knew it, deep in her soul, that that was the right thing; it was time to go. 

Falling out of love with someone you still deeply love is the worst feeling in the world. And you can only trick yourself so much into hoping something better waits for you. But when the rain doesn’t seem to stop, when the sun doesn’t shine, it’s hard to look out of the window and wish for a rainbow. 

May was a month Hyejin hated already, the weather would start to get hotter, the library would fill with students studying for their tests, and the mosquitos would start biting her ankles. 

May was a month Hyejin hated more now, other than the usual, she didn’t have her rides back home with Haechan, and she didn’t have her future anymore.

Hyejin never liked having to rewrite her plans. She made them in a certain way at the start for a reason, so there was no point drawing a line on them and doing it all over again. But she was left with no choice. 

So instead of redrawing the picture she yearned for ages, she sat in her room, staring at the white wall, hoping for changes to show themselves. 

If she was a warm light before, she was now a dark cloud bringing her gloominess around. She had to find herself, but that felt so scary when she didn’t have her other half by her side after a whole life together. She felt like a bird learning to fly, or a lamb taking its first steps. It was scary, and the only outcome possible seemed to be a catastrophe.

So she tried to hang on to the other people she loved the most. Going out with Yeri and Ningning when possible, or simply doing the things she loved the most on her own. She even thought about calling Jaemin, she missed him much, but after the small exchange of texts after the break up (“hey, heard what happened, if you need to talk I’m here!” and “yeah, thanks, I’ll call you if I need it”) nothing happened between them. 

“Zoya?” She asked when the bell rang on a late afternoon on Saturday. 

“Can I come in?” 

Hyejin frowned, not understanding what she was doing there, but let her in anyway. “Sure. Need something?” 

The girl shrugged, sitting on the couch. “Wanted to check on you. Haechan is a mess.” 

Hyejin didn’t say a word, she simply stared at her, standing up close to the couch. “I’m fine.” 

Zoya chuckled. “Sure you are. You broke up with the love of your life and want to tell me, you’re doing fine.”

Hyejin frowned. “What would you know about me, about us?” 

She expected Zoya to react, but she simply smiled, snickering and lifting her hands up. “I’m here in peace. Trying to help a friend, if you still consider me one,” she said, eyes moving from her to the empty spot on the couch, a spot that got filled when Hyejin preferred to don’t answer. 

“He’s not the love of my life,” Hyejin said bitterly. 

Zoya sighed. “I think it’s funny.” 

“What?” 

“How we both left thinking he loved the other more.” 

Hyejin’s eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. “You did what? Wait, what did he tell you?” 

“A lot of nothing, if I have to be honest. He was a crying mess, and then he fell asleep. Understood a bit more from Jaemin that has been listening to his nagging for weeks now.” 

“I didn’t leave him because of you,” Hyejin whispered. “Not only. But you? I left giving him reasons, you left without a word. And left me there to mend the scars you caused.” 

“I know,” she said. “And I feel guilty to this day, Hye. But I was a teenager, I was afraid. I… I always felt like I came between you two and whatever thing you had going on. Why do you think I tried to drift apart from our trio? I felt like I didn’t fit in that magic that naturally flew between you. But I would always come back, somehow. So I thought, fine, I belong there, and then… then we started dating. But when I got the news that I had to go back home, my fears took over again. I was terrified that… I was sure he would’ve stopped loving me and realize the feelings he hid for you.” 

“He never loved me.” 

“I could only see love behind his eyes, and I still do to this day. I felt like I could never compare to you. You were you, and I know it’s such a cliché thing to say but you know him more than he knows himself, so how could I compare,” Zoya explained, her lips curled in a small, bittersweet smile.  

Hyejin furrowed. “So you left? You hurt him… why?” 

“I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid he would’ve convinced me to try to make it work with the distance.” 

“Why would it have been a bad thing?” She almost screamed, even angrier now that she knew all the pain he went through could’ve been avoided. 

“I don’t like it. And… and I feared he would’ve cheated on me with you.” 

“You’re so stupid,” Hyejin exhaled, eyes wide. “How could you even think that?” 

“But that’s what happened!” 

“It happened because you left, because you hurt him, and probably he never even loved me like that, he just had wounds too big to mend on his own and he used me to do that.” 

“Are you saying he never loved you?”

“Not like he loved you. Not like a lover, but always like a friend.”

Zoya shook her head. 

“You do know how much you leaving without a word hurt him, right?” 

“I know. But I also knew he had you. And you were always ready to… to do anything for him, I thought it was safe. I thought a silly teenage love story couldn’t hurt him this bad. I didn’t think I meant so much to him. I thought his whole world revolved around you.” 

Hyejin snickered. “I thought his whole world revolved around you.”

“God, we’re both so dumb, aren’t we?” 

Hyejin laughed, tears rolling down her face as she threw her head back in a sigh. 

“Don’t pretend you’re fine,” Zoya said, caressing her hair back and letting her thumb caress her cheek. “I know our friendship is weird, and I did my best to ruin it, but if you want to, I’m here… for you.” 

Hyejin hummed, turning around, and meeting her eyes. “It’s just hard… letting it all go, and learning how to rebuild a house you thought was your home.” 

“So why don’t you go back home?” 

“Because it’s not mine. Because it was never mine,” she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. “It’s not about you, it’s about us. We don’t work together, not romantically. That’s not my place in his life, and his in mine. And I don’t like it one bit, but it’s not the end of the world,” she chuckled bitterly. “I’m so young, and I could go out clubbing and get any person that I like, I should, maybe I will.”

“Need some company?” 

“Yeah, why not?” She replied before breaking down crying. “The truth is I’m… I’m not made for that life. I’m not made for quick encounters and meaningless flirts. I don’t see myself fucking around, and then going on with my day. I’m such a… such a… mess.” 

“Or maybe you just have different needs? There’s nothing wrong with wanting stability. It’s hard, it can’t be easy when all of a sudden everything you know doesn’t exist anymore. You can’t be mad at yourself for being terrified of the future.” 

“But I hate being stuck,” she confessed, head falling on Zoya’s shoulder. “I feel like the whole world is moving on and I’m here, not knowing what to do with my life. It’s not even about love, it’s everything. I’ve got my major wrong, I’ve got my lover wrong, I’ve got a job I don’t want and I’m a terrible friend. Everything is a mess.” 

“Maybe you just need to change your perspective. Flip the picture, put on a wig and become someone else.” 

Hyejin furrowed and pouted, feeling like she was making fun of the situation. 

“I’m just saying, were those bad choices when you made them? No. They were right at the moment. You are not in that moment anymore, you are moving on, you are changing, you are growing.” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“I know,” she said. “I spent months pondering whether to come back here or not, and when I did, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave again. But it turns out I only had to endure a bit more. I’m close to having my dream job, and you and Haechan welcomed me back. I’ve got to meet Jaemin and so many other people. It was terrifying eight months ago, but now? It can only get better.” 

“I miss Jaemin,” she confessed, snuggling closer, needing to feel a warm and familiar embrace. 

“He misses you too,” Zoya said. “But he also understands if you don’t want to see him ever again.” 

“Did he tell you that?” 

“He did,” Zoya replied. “Maybe you could start with him, I’m sure he’s a good friend. He could be a big support for you, don’t push him away.” 

Haechan could only remember he felt a pain like this four years ago when Zoya left without a word and left him to bleed. Now he was older, wiser —some could say— and Hyejin didn’t leave him without a warning, yet, it still felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. 

He couldn’t deal with this. The thought of having lost his other half forever kept him up at night and left him wandering in the day like a ghost, desperately looking for salvation. But it was a lost cause when his salvation was her. Living without Hyejin was hard, it felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. 

But he couldn’t rot in his bed and watch his life go by. He had to go to work, the same job that had torn them apart by keeping him too busy and stressing him too much. He had to hang out with his friends, or at least try to, not that he brought much to the table, only sad smiles and lame conversations as he counted time to go back home. But most importantly, he had to fight the urge to not pick up the phone and call her every time he was left alone. 

Hyejin needed time. She made it clear — at least he believed so, the memories of that talk were a mess in his head — that they needed a break even from being friends. She cut him out of her life and he had to respect that. 

But as weeks passed by, the anxiety in his chest grew. What if he had lost her forever? What if there was no space for him in her life not even as a friend? What if he fought harder and begged her to stay? Maybe she wanted to see him fight for her, to see how far he would go to keep her with him. Maybe he had done something wrong again, that was just another test he didn’t pass. 

But he had no certain answers, and he couldn’t find them anywhere, not in the alcohol he drowned in, or the wasted hours staring at a wall. 

He had lost the only answer he ever knew. 

Jaemin was sleeping with guilt in his heart. He hadn’t heard from Hyejin for weeks, and he had to watch Haechan go through the worst pain ever. 

And he wondered if maybe he had read too much into them, if he truly caused all of this just because he was jealous. 

But when Hyejin finally showed up at the door, he felt the guilt leave him. He couldn’t say she was happy, but from the talks at the bar, he could get she wanted to start brand new, and those conversations with him, as painful as they were, were also helpful. 

All the pain and guilt of the first weeks disappeared when they started to spend so much time together. Jaemin thought she hated him, so he couldn’t believe she was seeking comfort from him. And even if it was painful to be torn between her and Haechan (lying to him to don’t slap at his face he was still hanging out with Hyejin was more painful than he imagined) he had no other choice.

“Your room is pretty, you know?” Jaemin hummed while caressing her hair as they laid on the bed. 

“You’ve never seen it before?” Hyejin asked, rolling her head back to look at him, watching as he shook his head before replying. 

“Nope,” he replied. “I’ve been in the living room, kitchen and bathroom but never here.” 

Hyejin smiled softly, moving closer to him, enjoying the way his strong arms wrapped around her. It felt like a silly thought, but every time he hugged her, she could feel he was hiding some big muscles under the big sweaters, and she was a bit disappointed that even with the hotter weather he kept hiding them, usually under wide t-shirt that hid more than half of his arm.

“Are you listening?” 

“Mh, yeah, yeah, I am,” she replied, shaking her head, and cursing lowly for even thinking such things. “Okay, no, I wasn’t, sorry.” 

Jaemin chuckled, kissing her head before repeating. “It feels like a privilege being here.” 

“A privilege?” 

“Yeah, Yeri told me you don’t let many people here.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Well, it’s true. This room is like my safe place, I don’t like strangers to be in it. Honestly, I just don’t like staying here for too long. The only ones allowed are… was… Haechan and well, now you,” she mumbled, not knowing how to put it. Feeling a small twinge of pain in her chest naming Haechan. 

“Yeah, makes sense,” Jaemin whispered, fighting the urge to ask more questions about him. It was a topic she avoided, the main reason why they got so close was that he would keep Haechan out of her mind, so talking about him wasn’t a wise thing. 

“Iseul saw a cat today when I was walking her home from school,” so he changed the topic, surely talking about something that would’ve put her in a good mood, “she thought about you. So, she made me take a pic of her holding it, threatening me if I didn’t show it to you,” he said, giggling as he searched for his phone in his pocket to show her the photo.

Hyejin laughed, shifting to give him more space before pressing against his broad chest again, and waiting for him to find it in the gallery. “Oh, please, she’s so cute. I bet she named it.” 

“Yeah, of course, she named it,” Jaemin said, scrolling through the thousands of pictures the baby made him shoot, “guess what?” 

“Surely like food,” Hyejin said, not able to hide the big smile on her face as the pictures passed by her eyes. 

“You get it, it’s Kimchi.” 

“Kimchi? Did she also make you buy that?” 

Jaemin raised a brow as to ask as if it could be any more obvious and Hyejin laughed. “She’s so funny. You know she loves you so much, right?” 

“Yeah, I know. I love her too, I mean, she makes my days funnier, I’m not sure I want to work in a kindergarten just yet.” 

Hyejin smiled in reflex as she watched the smile on his face, and then her brain let out thoughts. “You’d make a great father.” 

Their eyes met and for a moment she felt the air stop and get heavy. She looked away and coughed. “I mean, kids love you, and you know how to take care of them. Whoever ends up with you is lucky.” 

Jaemin hummed, slowly nodding as he stared at her back now that she was sitting up straight, scratching her neck. “If someone ends up with me.” 

She scoffed. “Please, don’t act as if you’re ugly.” 

“You think I’m handsome?” He asked, bouncing on the bed to sit next to her. 

“I — I…” she mumbled, eyes skimming on his face, eyes, nose, lips, silky blonde hair framing everything that looked sculped by Gods. “I would be stupid to think you’re ugly.” 

A smile curled his lips, and he stared at her lips. “I think you’re beautiful too,” he whispered. 

She had no idea what was going on, but they both started to lean closer, too close, as their gazes were stuck on each other’s lips. It felt like being pulled by a magnet, a force stronger than their will, but it couldn’t be. She was the first one to back away, coughing awkwardly as she stood up and rubbed her nose before fixing her hair behind her ear. 

Jaemin only lowered his head, sighing disappointedly and feeling his heart sink into his chest. What was he even thinking? As if there was space for him like that in her life. 

“It’s dinner time, do you want to order something? There’s a place close to here that makes your favourite dish.” 

“Cleo?” 

Jaemin hummed. 

“That’s where I always go, it’s my favourite place.” 

“Great, I’ll order, then.” 

The night passed with no more awkward moments, even though they were still close to one another, sitting side by side on the bed while eating and watching their favourite movie on the laptop, and then laying on the bed to watch another one. 

Jaemin wasn’t much interested in the movie playing, his eyes moved on her every time she giggled or whispered something, getting lost in her beauty for too long. But by now he wasn’t surprised anymore, he had come to terms he loved her. And it was fine like this, even if she was never going to love him back. Not like he could her ask to, or even wish about, especially considering she had just broken up such a long relationship and surely still had feelings for Haechan. 

But Jaemin liked this nonetheless. Being friends with her was already a win for him, especially after the rough path they walked on for a bit. 

“Why don’t you stay?” When the movie ended, Jaemin barely noticed it and was taken by surprise when she spoke to him. 

“Mhh? What?” 

Hyejin chuckled, stretching her body and jumping off the bed. “I said, why don’t you stay?”

“For the night?” 

“No, for the day,” she joked, rolling her eyes. “Of course, dummy. It’s late, way past midnight. You can sleep here.” 

“Oh,” Jaemin gasped, lifting his wrist to check the time and realise it was indeed later than he expected. “You have another room?” 

Hyejin shook his head. “No, but my bed is big, I’m sure we can fit.” 

“You want me to sleep with you?” 

Hyejin sucked her lips, furrowing, “Yeah? Is it so weird?” 

“No, I — I just…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I didn’t want to make you drive back home, but you can leave if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“I don’t feel uncomfortable,” he replied right away. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” 

She giggled. “I asked you to sleep, not to do something else.” 

“I know,” he retorted, glaring at her. “I wasn’t hinting at anything, I would never do that,” he stuttered, looking around to avoid her teasing gaze. 

“Are you blushing?” She teased, jumping on the bed again to squeeze his cheeks. 

“Stop it!” Jaemin said, trying to push her away, but the vain attempt only made her laugh more. 

“I know I’m hot but I didn’t think I’d have such an effect on you,” she joked, getting up again, and sensually swinging her hips as she walked to the closet. 

Jaemin huffed, running his fingers through his hair as he watched her. Oh, how many things she didn’t know. “You don’t have an effect on me,” he clarified. “I usually don’t sleep with my friends.” 

“You slept with Haechan.” 

“Yes cause my bed was lost in Ulsan for some reason,” he justified, throwing a pillow at her. 

She laughed, shaking her head before turning around. “So, I guess you can do the sacrifice to squeeze in my bed?” 

Jaemin gulped, involuntarily getting lost in the way her slender fingers were moving to unbutton her button-up shirt before he mentally slapped himself and looked into her eyes, a glint of teasing shining in them. “Yeah, I can do that sacrifice.” 

“Good,” she smiled, walking out of the room after grabbing her clothes for the night. 

Once they were both ready for the night, they laid under the covers. Jaemin tried to stay as far as possible, feeling too hot to even think about her, but Hyejin had no intention of keeping personal space. 

“I don’t bite,” she said, glaring at him when he moved away. “Are you dating someone?” 

“What? What kind of question is that?” 

“I don’t know, we’ve been close to each other all day, we always are, and yet you’re acting like this,” she said, moving her hands to show him the space between them. “Is this weird because you’re dating someone?” 

“I’m not dating anybody,” he replied, sighing and rubbing his forehead. “It’s a bit… hot, I thought you wanted space.” 

“It’s hot?” She asked, lifting a brow. 

Jaemin gulped, meeting her eyes shyly. “Maybe I’m just not used sleep with these covers.” 

Hyejin hummed, biting her lower lip. “So, if we take them off, can I hug you?” 

He didn’t reply right away, trying to understand why she wanted to be this close. But he couldn’t find an answer that he liked. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said, lifting the heavy blanket from his body before shifting closer to her and opening his arm for her to lay on her chest. 

She immediately placed her head on his pecs, while her hand rested on his sternum and inhaled deeply. “That’s better,” she said.

Jaemin chuckled, fighting the awkwardness and caressing her nape in circles. “You love this, don’t you?” 

She hummed, snuggling against him. “Yeah, but it makes me fall asleep easily.” 

“Good, didn’t you say you were having troubles falling asleep?” 

“Yeah,” she replied. 

“Maybe I can be the cure.” 

Hyejin hummed, relaxing with each passing second, and before she could realise it, she fell into a deep slumber. 

Jaemin was the cure. 

“I hate summer so much,” Hyejin whined for the nth time, wiping away the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand. 

Jaemin chuckled. “Yeah, I would’ve never guessed.” 

She rolled her eyes, ripping the cup from his hands before drinking it, and bringing it to her mouth. “Why does it have to be so hot?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t know, blame it on the climate changes.” 

Hyejin studied his face for a moment, watching the smile stay on his face as he stared at the horizon, and then she let her head fall behind against the wall, watching the sky change its colour as the night approached. 

It felt weird to be back at their place, it felt even weirder when Jaemin convinced her to come inside since Haechan was out (luckily it seemed like he was starting to move on and have fun on his own), she felt like a thief in a place that first felt like home. But on the balcony of Jaemin’s room, she felt a bit safer. 

Two months had passed by, and while her heart wasn’t completely mended, yet, she felt confident enough to say she was doing better. 

“I started painting again,” she whispered in the quiet of the night, lifting her feet on the handrail in front of her as she turned her face to her friend. 

“Really? That’s great. What did you paint?” 

She shrugged, shifting her head another time. “Things… emotions.” 

“Emotions?” Jaemin asked, a confused frown on his face as he let his eyes wander on her. He loved how she was so open with him now, body relaxing against the chair, while she only wore black shorts and a tiny, pink tank top. And he couldn’t hide the smile as he thought about when they first met, and how awkward they both were. It felt surreal to be this close and at ease with each other. “How can you paint emotions?” 

Her head rolled back as she breathed in a deeper breath and then scrolled her hair out of her face, bringing the glass to her lips before answering. “Without thinking. I like to use colours and not shapes,” she explained, smiling at him. “To be honest, I’ve never done it before, but it felt fitting. It felt therapeutic.” 

“What colours?” 

“Red,” she said, a bitter smile on her face. “I was angry and mad at love, I turned the colour that represents love into a dark mix of black and brown.” 

Jaemin let out a bitter chuckle, lowering his head as sadness washed over him. “Love, uhm?” 

“Yeah, I… I thought a lot about what you said to me and I…” she breathed deeply. “I don’t think I love him anymore.” 

He raised a brow. “Are you talking about…?” 

“Yes, about him, who else could I be talking about?” She giggled. “I miss him, of that I’m sure. But now that he’s not been part of my days, and I could think about these past years over and over again, I realized I was just hanging on to a dream. And I’m so mad at me for this, for not loving him anymore, because I feel so lost when loving him was all I knew.” 

“But you love many things, not only him.” 

“I do, but there’s… there’s this anger that I feel because things didn’t go as planned, because I got lost in a dream, because…” she sighed. “I lost my best friend. Love made me lose my best friend and my partner, my lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, keeping his gaze on her face, watching it saddened a bit. “Why don’t you… talk to him? He misses you, too.” 

“I know he does, but I’m not ready. I’m learning how to walk on my own, I’m meeting new people. And I feel like I’m finally growing up, you know?” 

Jaemin hummed.

“I’m sorry, I annoy you so much,” she apologized, but Jaemin immediately stopped her. 

“I like listening to you,” he said. “Did you draw something else?” 

“Just that… until the canvas turned black. And then I set fire to it.” 

“You did what?” He gasped, raising his voice. 

“I needed to let it go!” She justified, shrugging. 

“By setting things on fire?” 

“I told you it was therapeutic,” she defended.  

“Remind me to don’t stay too close to you when you’re mad,” he joked, shaking his head before he took a sip again. 

She chuckled. “I was mad because I felt like I wasted so much time of my life on something that wasn’t meant to be. I feel like I wanted too much and lost everything.” 

“It’s not wasted time if you loved,” he said, facing her. “So… you don’t love him anymore?” 

“I don’t know, everything with him has been so blurry, I… I never had anybody else, I don’t know what’s love and friendly love and just attraction, I… but I’m so afraid of going out and just kissing the first person that passes by.” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he stared at her, the nervous playing of her fingers, the bouncing of her legs, and then her lips. Those lips he wanted to kiss so badly. 

“Kiss me,” he said, eyes locking into hers, not drifting away not even when hers widened in shock. “I’m not the first person that passes by.” 

“But — but you’re my friend, wouldn’t this be the same as kissing him?” 

“Would it?” 

Hyejin gulped, thinking about it for a moment, staring at his lips. How soft they looked, she wouldn’t have wasted a second doing it if only… if only… 

“I don’t think it’s wise.” 

“Come on, it’s just a kiss.” 

“But what would it prove? I — I know I don’t like you,” she said, panicking when she was Jaemin’s eyes losing their typical sparkle. “No, wait, I just mean I want you like a friend, not a lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, turning around, and getting up. “I know, it’s not like I wanted you to want me like that.” 

“No, I’m sorry. Are you offended?” She asked, standing up, and blocking him from going inside. 

“No, it was a dumb proposal anyway. I’m sorry, I surely made you uncomfortable. I just… I hate when I can’t help you, so I come up with a stupid thing,” he said, but he still avoided her eyes for most of the talk. “You should go outside, a club, or let one of your friends set up a date. You will never truly move on if you don’t see the different shades a relationship can have.” 

Hyejin wanted to stop him again but when he tugged his wrist away, she had to let him go, standing on the balcony as he walked out of the room. She turned around, placing her elbows on the handrail, and looked at the view in front of her. Maybe she should’ve kissed him, maybe she should’ve let her impulses take over, but she didn’t want to lose another friend. She loved spending time with Jaemin, and she felt like only a few people — probably only Haechan — got her like he did. So his other solution was the most rational one. She needed to go out and flirt with people, throw herself on the dating ground and try to experience things she had never done before. It was the only way to move on from Haechan. 

Haechan was doing better, some days he dared to say he was doing good, but then a random wave of sadness would wash over him and he felt like being back at the start. But those waves of sadness started to happen less, at least. He would keep himself busy, trying to hang out with his friends as much as possible to don’t stay at home and rot on the couch, and when he had to stay in, there was always Jaemin to keep him company.

Now, always... Jaemin was mostly out, doing things. Haechan didn’t get why he was so vague every time he asked where he was going or what he was doing, but he didn’t care enough to pry. Jaemin was reserved about his private life, and maybe he just met someone to spend time with. Haechan was happy for him, and he was sure it was just a matter of time before his friend would’ve opened up and spoken about this person he had fallen for. 

Unfortunately, he had other things to worry about. And that was himself. He missed Hyejin, but he was waiting for her to text him first, or do any kind of first move. But not seeing her, not hearing her laugh, not listening to her day, pained him when he was left alone with his thoughts. 

He had no idea how she was doing. When Zoya showed up at his place months ago, he had begged her to check on her, since she wasn’t even replying to Jaemin, but after that, he didn’t dare to ask. He hoped she was doing fine, but if that was true, it also meant that he was so easy to forget, and that hurt even more. 

The worst pain of this all was that he had no idea if he was mourning love or friendship, maybe both, so that was why it hurt so much 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What am I doing here? Really, Hyuck?” Zoya asked, pushing him back to make her way into the apartment. “You’ve been avoiding me, and you ask why I’m here.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he stared at the floor. Well, so, not only he didn’t want to know about Hyejin, but he was doing everything in his power to avoid Zoya. 

“Why? What have I done?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, lifting his gaze. “I need to be alone. Is it so crazy?” 

“You are hanging out with everyone except me,” she said, crossing her arms on her chest. “What happened?” 

Haechan sighed. “Do I have to hang out with you?” 

“I just would like to know what happened since we used to do it when you were dating but now you can’t even pick up the phone?” 

“Oh, you want to know what happened,” he laughed. “Very funny for someone that disappears without giving a reason.” 

“Seriously? I explained it to you, I thought we were fine with that.” 

“We were fine with that because I’m an asshole and I welcomed you in again without thinking twice, fucking up my relationship with Hyejin because, fuck, four years later and I still care so much about you, no matter all the pain you put me through. But no, dear, you never explained why you left me without saying a word, you never explained why you never picked up my phone calls or never answered my texts when I was worried sick because I had no idea where you were, with who you were and what you were doing. I feared you were taken back against your will, I thought that if only you’d spoken to me I could’ve helped you stay here even if your parents’ jobs required you to leave with them. I fucking asked my mother if she would’ve been fine with letting you stay with us, hopelessly thinking you would’ve at least let me know you weren’t hating having to go back to India. I blamed myself because maybe you were telling me something with your talks about how much you loved being in Korea and how happy you were to be here, how when you were a child you would’ve never expected to love a place you hated so much,” Haechan ranted, veins popping out of his arms as tears streamed down his face. “And you were fine, I bet you took the opportunity of your parent’s jobs to go back and erase everything as if it had never been,” he breathed out. 

“I… I can’t tell you why I left, but I’m sorry, I told you many times how sorry I am,” Zoya whispered, fighting back the tears that were making it hard to talk and see. 

“Yeah, you are, but don’t expect me to be open about what I’m going through when you can’t be open with me.” 

“You would hate me if I gave you the reason, and you would think that… that everything is a twisted joke on you.” 

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.” 

Zoya sighed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand to dry the tears. “I don’t want to leave you alone. You and Hyejin have always been close to me when nobody wanted me, when I was just a small kid not knowing what she was doing in a foreign country, I…”

“We’re not those kids anymore, Zoya,” he said, looking into her eyes. Those eyes that still caused shivers to roll down his spine, those eyes he didn’t want to see because he would always get lost in them. Every eye contact was like a thunder striking him without his consent. And he felt like he had lied saying those words because if he focused on her face a bit more, he could still see the little girl he knew, the one that turned into the teenager that stole his heart before tearing it into pieces. “And I don’t know what I’m feeling, for her, for you, for me. It’s like a big tangle, and I’m stuck in the middle of it. I feel like I’ve already lost her, and I don’t know if I’ll also lose you.” 

She shook her head, walking closer to him, wanting to hug him but didn’t. “You will never lose me,” she reassured. “And you will never lose her, she just needs time and space. I’ve seen love a few times in my life and I swear that I’ve never seen it as strong as in her eyes when they would fall on you. You two are something that can’t be torn apart, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have obstacles to surpass.” 

Haechan lowered his head. “But what if I don’t want to surpass them? I had her by my side.” 

“And maybe you took her for granted?” Zoya said, and Haechan looked into her eyes. “Sometimes you have to lose something to know how much you care for it.” 

“I knew how much I cared for it even before,” he defended. 

“If she left maybe it wasn’t so clear.” 

“So what do I have to do? Look for her? Force her into a relationship she doesn’t want? Beg her to take me back?” 

She shook her head. “You have to wait, and she will come back to you.” 

“I swear, we should do this more often,” Hyejin giggled as she poured the soju down her throat. 

“Careful, don’t get too drunk,” Jaemin warned her after doing the same, placing the bottle on the countertop. 

“I have a good tolerance,” she replied. “That club sucked.” 

“People suck,” he corrected. 

“True,” she chuckled, opening a kitchen shelf to look for food. “Chips?” She asked, lifting a bag of paprika chips. 

“I’d love something more filling but this will do.” 

She smiled, ripping the package. “Your room? What if he comes back?” 

“He’s out tonight, said he’ll sleep over to Yang.” 

“Can we still go up? I want to sit on the balcony,” she pouted. 

“Whatever you wish,” he said, “Go, I’ll bring the rest.” 

Five minutes later they were sitting on the balcony, the usual view as always as they shared a bag of chips and some drinks.  

“Thank you for stopping that man before,” she said. 

“Nothing,” he smiled. 

“Wasn’t in the mood to fuck him.” 

Jaemin giggled. “Not what you said when I picked you up tonight,” he said. “Tonight I’m getting laid,” he mimicked her voice and she laughed after pushing him away. 

“I said I wasn’t in the mood to fuck him, not to don’t fuck in general,” she specified. 

Jaemin looked over, pinching her arm. “You’re still not getting laid tonight.” 

“It’s a shame don’t you think so?” She asked, voice dropping lower as she teased him twirling her hair. 

“Indeed, it is,” Jaemin replied, running his tongue on his lips as his eyes lingered on her for a second. 

“Got so pretty for nothing,” she pouted, pointing with her head at her clothes. 

“The butterfly top is pretty,” he hummed. 

“What about the skirt?” She asked, crossing her legs, making the fabric rise up on her smooth thighs. 

Jaemin gulped, paying little to no attention to the black skirt, too focused on her soft thighs and the way her hands, covered in jewellery, touched her skin. “Pretty.” 

“It’s really a waste,” she huffed, pushing the skirt down and yawing, making him snap out of his trance, nodding and forcing his gaze on the horizon. “But at least it’s not too hot.” 

“No, not hot at all,” he forced out, trying to don’t think about the dirty thoughts his brain was screaming. He wanted her, now more than ever. It was already a miracle he didn’t ask her to kiss him while they danced together all night after he had to push some creeps away. But this felt like it was too much. And he couldn’t understand if she was doing it on purpose or if she had no idea of the power she had over him. Or maybe she thought it was just attraction, but to Jaemin was so much more than that. 

“Can we dance?” 

“Can we what?” He asked, turning around but the chair next to him was already empty as she was inside, busy to turn the music on. 

“I’ve always wanted to try the speakers,” she said, putting a playlist on youtube and connecting her phone to them. 

“Not too loud,” he said, “the neigh—”

“Shh,” she shut him up, placing a finger on his lips while her arm wrapped around his neck and her hips started moving to the sensual music. “Don’t think about anything.” 

Jaemin wanted to retort, and even question why the music was so sensual, but he stood no chance with her eyes silently commanding him. So his shoulders dropped as he tried to relax to the music; a struggle when her body was grinding on his and her face was so close. 

It felt natural, their bodies swinging to the rhythm as if they got those movements down by heart, as if it was supposed to be like this. Daring hands touching dangerous patches of skin, lips wanting so badly to get a taste, and eyes that were screaming thousands of secret thoughts. 

It took Jaemin a while to realize what was going on, with his eyes closed, letting the music move him, he thought he was making the soft touch on his lips up, but when his eyes parted and she was standing face to face, he realized it was reality. 

“What — what are you doing?” He asked, involuntary tightening the hold on her waist. 

“Can I kiss you?” She answered with another question, eye contact not faltering not even for a second, and he wondered if she was the same Hyejin as always. 

“I — I don’t think we should be doing this,” he mumbled, throat dry and legs weak. 

“But you said I should try to kiss you and see how it feels,” she said, caressing his cheek. “I want to know what you feel like.” 

“I’m… I’m bland, I don’t feel like — oh,” his words died down when her lips crashed against his, cupping his cheeks while the hand on her lower back pushed her flat on his body, lifting her from the floor for a split second. 

Hyejin’s hand tightened on his neck, feeling her head spin, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on the alcohol. This was anything but bland. It felt like thousands of unspoken words and feelings being rushed on her, sweeping her like a wave. The shyness of their lips lasted less than ten seconds, and then Jaemin got braver. His touch was strong, and his lips were greedy, kissing her like she hadn’t been kissed for months. 

“Jaemin,” she gasped when she pulled away for air. 

“Yeah?” He asked, leaning in for another one, not giving her time to continue. But it wasn’t like Hyejin had any words left in her brain. This was breathtaking and addictive. A new kind of attraction she didn’t even know she could feel. 

“Jaemin,” she screamed when he lifted her up, her legs swiftly wrapping around his waist, and trapped her against her wall. “God,” she moaned when he grabbed her wrists and pushed them over her head, lips moving to kiss down her neck, until he reached for the curves of her boobs, playfully biting down the soft skin. 

“I need you,” Jaemin whispered, climbing up again, whispering against her swollen lips. “Please, let me have you,” he said, caressing her cheek, “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.” 

Hyejin nodded, struggling to give him a vocal response as her body moved on its own, grinding on him and searching for more contact. “Please,” was the only whimper she could make come out of her lips, but it was more than enough for Jaemin to keep going where he stopped. A curse rolled from her mouth when he pressed his hips against her, making her feel how hard he was already, while his hands frenetically moved to untie the knots behind her back, soon letting the top fall loose on her before he pushed it off her arms, throwing it in a corner of the room. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he muttered, staring at her bare chest, cupping her boob as he trapped her lips in another kiss. 

“Jaemin, please,” she begged in the kiss. 

“You want me? Want me to stop fucking around and make you feel good?” 

“Yes.” 

Jaemin had no idea what was running in his body at that moment, driving him to act in a way he never acted before, craving her like he never craved anybody else before. He swiftly moved around to throw her on the bed, standing tall in front of her as he worked to take his clothes off, baring himself to her eyes, watching even the smallest of her reaction with a smirk on his face. 

Hyejin had no idea either, she wasn’t even sure she felt that attraction before that night, and yet here she was, already wetting her panties just from the sight of his body, toned and beautiful just like she had imagined a thousand times before (maybe the attraction was there before that night, she was just in denial). She gulped, squeezing her thighs together when he pushed the boxers down, revealing his big, hard dick. 

But as much as Jaemin would’ve liked to indulge in the sight of her surprise, he needed her. And in a second his body was on hers again, slipping off her skirt in a swift movement. When he kissed her again, pushing her against the mattress, her hands couldn’t help but wander on him, feeling his skin under her touch before reaching his hair and pulling strongly, making him groan. 

A shaky breath rolled from her lips when his hand sneaked between their bodies and rubbed on her wet panties. 

Jaemin chuckled. “So wet and sensitive, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, not so confident anymore of keeping eye contact. 

“And I barely even touched you,” he said, pulling the crotch to the side to move his tips on her slit and clit. 

Hyejin would’ve liked to disagree, that was a lot for her. That passion, that need, was something that had been missing from her life for so long. And honestly, probably had never been much into it. She had never been lifted on her feet to be kissed, nobody ever pressed her against a wall and tried to undress her with rush and need. She never felt this wanted. And she couldn’t care there wasn’t love behind this, because it felt new and refreshing, and Jaemin was going to make her lose her mind. 

“Fuck, babe, didn’t even have to push them in, look at how easy you’re taking them,” he whispered, bringing her back to earth, shyly trying to look between their bodies to see what he was doing. But his fingers curling so nicely and deep into her made her head roll back, mouth open as she moaned with no care. 

The house was empty anyway. They had nothing to worry about. 

Her hands clenched around the bedsheet when Jaemin’s lips made contact with her skin, starting to kiss and nibble at her jaw and neck as his two fingers never stopped doing wonders. Her whole body was on fire, back arching as she searched for more, eyes rolled back hidden behind her closed eyelids, and lips parted. 

That was, to Jaemin, the prettiest view in the world. And he had to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t a fantasy, that he didn’t have to blame it on the alcohol, but she was truly underneath him. “You can’t be real,” he whispered, staring at her face, contorted in an expression of pleasure. 

Hyejin felt her heart twirl in her chest. She had never been touched like this by somebody that wasn’t him, never even ever imagined what other hands and lips could feel like, and she couldn’t believe this was what was waiting for her. That this pleasure was the something new that was missing. It was wild to her how much chemistry she was feeling flooding between her and Jaemin. How could he possibly be so good at playing her like a violin? Touching her as if he had been doing that for ages. 

“I’m close,” she whimpered when she felt her stomach tighten. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but surely not for him to fasten the pace of his fingers inside and the thumb on her clit, taking her breath away. “Jaemin,” she cried out, legs bending up in a twitch. 

“Come on, you can take it,” he reassured her with no intention of slowing down, grabbing the hand that was clenching on the sheet as he sat up to have a perfect view of her trembling body. “That’s it, that’s it,” he encouraged, watching her hips lift from the mattress and feeling her pussy clench around his fingers. 

“I — I…” she moaned, trying to find the words to describe what she was feeling but it was impossible since she never felt that way before. And before she could think another coherent thought, her orgasm got the best of her, hitting harder than ever before, making her legs tremble while her head rolled back and her eyes rolled in the back of her skull. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin moaned when a jet of liquid hit his arm, coating it with thicker and more liquid slick. Shocked he had made her squirt so easily, but even more amazed at the way her body reacted to his touch. He didn’t stop moving, not caring if that meant adding even more mess as she kept squirting until the orgasm died down and she begged for him to stop. 

“Shit,” Hyejin huffed, moving her hair back and forcing her neck to lift her head to come face to face with the aftermath of her orgasm. “What have I done?” 

Jaemin pulled his fingers out, licking them clean, and then stared at her with a confused expression. “You’ve never done this before?” 

She bit her lip, shaking her head with a faint red tint on her cheeks. “No. What was that?” 

“You squirted?” 

“I can do that?” 

“Well, you did,” he chuckled. “It was pretty fucking hot if I have to be honest.” 

She didn’t reply, only giggled before her body fell lack on the mattress again. 

Jaemin chuckled back before he was where he was before, hands resting at the sides of her face and lower body pressed against hers. “I’m not done with you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.” 

“I want you,” she said without hesitating not even for a moment. “Please.” 

That was all he needed to push into her. 

“Oh,” she gasped when he was halfway in and kept slowly making its way in, stretching her with each inch sinking deeper until he bottomed down.  

“Are you okay?” He asked, standing on his elbows to be closer to her body, his chest pressing against hers, while their lips almost brushed. 

“Yeah, it’s just been a while and it’s… big,” she chuckled awkwardly, “but it feels good, you can move.” 

And so he did, going back on his hands to move more freely, driving his hips back before thrusting forward. 

“You feel so good,” he breathed out, eyes falling where their bodies met before moving to her face again. “So, so fucking good.” 

She wanted to reply and say she felt the same, letting him know how much she loved the feeling of being filled and fucked, but it was already impossible to speak coherent words.  

Jaemin had so many things to say, but he had no courage to ruin this moment with feelings that weren’t returned. All he could do was try to show her how much he loved her and cared for her. He couldn’t whisper in her ear how lucky he felt at that moment, or how much he wished to be this intimate with her, he couldn’t even tell her he loved her. So he kept reminding him that this was enough, and it didn’t matter if tomorrow everything went back like before. He had her, and that was all that mattered. 

But it was hard to don’t slip on those three words when she looked so pretty underneath him and kept moaning his name, loudly in the night with no care someone would hear. Why should have this ended in another way when they fit so well together? Jaemin didn’t get it, but he didn’t want to stain this moment with sadness, so he focused on her. Leaving kisses on her neck and chest, and touching her body all over because he needed to be reminded that this was real. 

“Is this why you dressed up tonight and danced with me the whole time?” He teased. “You wanted me all along, didn’t you?” 

She hummed, looking into his eyes but seeing blurry as all the pleasure got into her brain more and more. 

“As if you need to do all that to get me on my knees,” he thought he said that to himself, well, slow enough she couldn’t hear, but those words reached her perfectly, and she wasn’t sure it was just a play for the sake of the dirty talk or if he really meant it. 

“Jae, I’m close,” she breathed out, deciding not to think too much about it. Also, it wasn’t the first time Jaemin made it clear he found her beautiful and attractive, there’s was nothing to worry about. 

“Yeah? Gonna come?”

“Yes, fuck,” she moaned, swallowing hard. 

“Already, pretty girl? How desperate are you, uhm?”

She opened her mouth to reply but he stopped her with a click of tongue and a thumb on her lips. “Don't answer, I can see how desperate you are. How badly you need this, to be fucked good, and nice, and deep.”

Her body trembled at his words, and she couldn’t hold it in anymore, coming around his dick as hard as before, feeling the air leave her lungs and lust fill her brain completely, triggering his orgasm too with no warning. 

When they laid there, they both felt stuck in a euphoric state they couldn’t explain. Surely for different reasons, but it felt like that chemistry couldn’t be turned off. 

Right when Jaemin was about to turn over and ask her if she wanted to take a shower, he found Hyejin on top of him, pressing him down the mattress, kissing him roughly. 

“I need more,” she whispered in the kiss, grinding on top of him. “Just for tonight.” 

Jaemin nodded, stunned, not expecting her to initiate something for the second time. But he also needed more. “I’ll give it to you,” he replied, hands cupping her ass as she slowly lowered on his dick, letting out shaky whimpers as he filled her again. “I’ll give you everything you want.” 

“Oh, I finally get to meet you,” Haechan joked, entering the kitchen, seeing someone sitting on the stool, wearing Jaemin’s shirt, and giving him their back. “Though, Jaem, the rooms are not soundproof and you kept me up all night.” 

When the person on the stool turned around and Haechan saw her face, he could swear he could feel the moment stop. He stood there, frozen and speechless, the only part of him moving were his eyes, skimming back and forth from his best friend’s and ex’s shocked faces. 

Nobody spoke. Nobody dared to say anything. Haechan wasn’t supposed to be at home that night, so they didn’t even expect him to be up so early in the morning as they both knew how much he slept when he didn’t have to go to work and slept over to someone else. But Haechan was there, staring at them while silent tears started streaming down his face and mixed emotions started to overwhelm him. 

“You — you two are…” he mumbled, pointing a finger at them, trying to understand what hurt the most. His best friend fucking his ex. Or his ex fucking his best friend. “You two are fucking?” 

“Haechan, is not what —” 

“Is not what? You’re fucking my best friend?” 

Hyejin got up, shaking her head. “It only happened once.” 

“Once? I fucking heard everything! You kept going all night!” 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, rubbing her hands on her face because that was so embarrassing. As if he wasn’t the one hearing her moans once, or seeing her naked, but now it felt weird. It wasn’t for him anymore. “We’ve never done that before.” 

“Wait,” he said, taking a moment to think about the past weeks. “Have you two been hanging out all this time?” 

“Why does it matter?” Jaemin tried to intervene, coming to her side. 

“It does because you told me she wasn’t picking up your calls, and she wanted to keep her distance, and look at you,” Haechan said, scoffing bitterly. “Oh my god, is she… is she all the times you were busy? All the times you were vague about what you were doing? When you couldn’t explain why I couldn’t come with you, it was because you were with her?” 

“Yes, I was,” Jaemin snapped, bringing his hands in the air. “And what about it? Me and her were friends, well, are friends,” he specified, a twinge of pain in his heart. “Why do you care?” 

“Because I just wanted to know she was fine and you couldn’t even tell me she was,” he replied. “Fucking dumbass,” he murmured to himself, “I’m so fucking stupid. Always worrying you are hurt or something and look at you, fucking my best friend.” 

“I was hurt,” she said, deeply offended by his assumption. “You think I was happy?” 

“Well, I don’t know, you broke up with me,” Haechan screamed. “Was it because of him?” 

“What are you saying?” She asked, starting to feel her throat close as tears menaced to have their best on her. 

“Oh, please don’t act dumb, Hyejin,” he said, sniffling. “Of course, you like him. I should’ve seen it.” 

“I don’t, we’re friends.” 

“And since when you fuck with friends?” Haechan asked with more urgency in his tone, taking a step closer to her. 

“I told you it only happened last night, and it’s none of your business,” she screamed. 

“It is when you accused me of being in love with someone else to break up with me and then you were the one in love with someone else all along.” 

“You are out of your mind,” she spat out, furrowing as her heart clenched. 

“Oh, really?” he asked before throwing his head behind and pushing down tears. “For how long has this been going on?” 

“There’s nothing between us,” Jaemin said firmly.

Haechan clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side as he let out another bitter snicker. “No? Who are you kidding? You said I was busy thinking about Zoya as if you didn’t spend our last months together attached to him by the hip, Hyejin! You were always giggling and doing shits together and you still had the gut to blame me for your crazy ass fantasies about Zoya!” 

“I never… I never blamed you.” 

“Please, if that’s not the literal reason you broke up with me,” he retorted angrily, his gaze on her full of disgust and betrayal before it moved to his friend. “And you? I gave you a house and you came by charming my girlfriend? Aren’t you ashamed?” 

“Ashamed? I should be ashamed for not treating her like an ornament like you did?” Jaemin snapped. “I was always there for her because I wanted to be there for her, because I cared for her, and I hated to see her smile drop every time she wanted to do something and, guess what, you would always say no,” Jaemin yelled, walking closer to him, making him walk back to the door, leaving Hyejin behind his broad back. “You lost her because you didn’t cherish her enough, because you didn’t care to listen to her or to make her truly happy. So tell me, have I charmed her, or did you take her for granted?” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he briefly looked over at Hyejin that was staring at them with eyes wide open as tears streamed down her face, and before he could think twice, his body reacted. 

“Haechan!” Her scream bounced in the kitchen walls when his fist landed on Jaemin’s face, making him take a few steps back holding his cheek in pain. 

“You don’t have a say in our relationship, you don’t know shit about me and how hard these past months have been. You don’t know me! And you don’t know how much I loved her. It’s so easy for you to come in and be the prince of the situation, the saviour, the one that has his shits together, it has always been easy for you to do that, right?” 

“Really? You’re telling me I lied? You’re telling me she didn’t come third in your priorities if not less?” Jaemin said, glaring at him as he once again moved closer, hand in the air to hit back while Haechan was about to do the same. 

“Don’t you fucking dare —”

“Stop it!” Hyejin screamed, putting herself in between them. “Are you two stupid?” 

“Are you listening to what he’s saying? Do you think that too? Do you think I didn’t love you enough?” 

Hyejin didn’t reply, she only stared into his dark eyes and let the silence give him an answer he didn’t like. 

“Why couldn’t you be fucking honest then? Why did you have to lie when we broke up? Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you,” she whispered, shaking her head as if she wanted to push out all the pain and noises. “I could never hate you!” 

Haechan sighed, looking down at the floor, not daring to watch how she held Jaemin’s shaking hand instead of his. Everything made sense. “You moved on so easily, everybody moves on so easily,” he whispered. 

“Hyuck, we —”

“Don’t call me Hyuck, that name is not yours to call anymore. I’m not yours anymore in any kind of way. Fuck you, fuck our friendship, and fuck everything that has ever been between us,” he retorted, taking a step away. “I’m so fucking happy for you, go and live your happy life with your prince charming, the one that doesn’t have problems, the one that will always put you first, he surely loves you so much, my love will feel like a drop in the ocean compared to his.” 

“Haechan,” she called, feeling her heart sink in her chest as he walked toward the door, following him, only then letting go of Jaemin’s hand. “Please, stop. We don’t even love each other.” 

Haechan scoffed. “Funny you say that as if you didn’t tell me I still love Zoya and you don’t see the same love in my eyes. You always know what’s best for everyone, how can you not know what’s best for you?” 

She didn’t reply, feeling guilty and confused. “Where are you going? This is your place.”

“Away. I don’t want to see you, or him. You can fuck somewhere else in the house if yesterday wasn’t enough.” 

When the door slammed shut, more tears started falling down Hyejin’s face, she stayed there, staring at the wooden door as if she could turn back time and change everything of what happened, until she heard sounds coming from the kitchen that reminded her she wasn’t alone, and she wasn’t the only one hurt. 

“Sorry,” she apologized entering the room, “you need ice.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Jaemin said, trying to stop her from opening the freezer but all in vain. 

“He hit you.” 

“Yeah, and he had all reasons to do so,” he replied, chuckling bitterly and shaking his head as he sat on a chair, throwing his head back.  

“No, he didn’t.” Jaemin hissed when she placed the cold item on his cheekbone after wrapping it in a towel. “You were right, and he had no reason to get so mad about us.” 

“I was right but I wouldn’t be happy to hear those things, and I fucked up saying he didn’t love you,” he explained, leaning his head against her chest while her arms kept him close to her. “I’m sorry I put you in this situation, I should’ve said no last night.” 

“No,” she said resolutely. “I wanted to do that, I don’t regret it. You wanted me, right?” 

Jaemin took a moment to reply, if only he could scream how much he wanted her, if only it didn’t sound so pathetic after she made it clear there was nothing more going on between them. “I did, but I didn’t want it to lead to this.” 

“But I’m free to do what I want. I don’t belong to him. We’re not dating anymore, and I didn’t break up with him to stay with you.” 

Jaemin hummed, too tired to add anything to the conversation. Why couldn’t he have one nice thing without watching it crumble apart in a second? Why was he so stupid? Why did he fall for the wrong people?

“Hey, I loved being with you last night, I don’t want you to regret this,” she said, caressing his hair, pressing a bit harder on the swollen cheek, making him groan. 

“I don’t regret it but…” he sighed, “now he’s mad, and we all fought, and… how do you fix this?” 

“By talking to him,” she said. “I know him, he just needs to cool down, and then I’ll explain for the nth time why I broke us off. He will understand.” 

“I hope so,” Jaemin whispered, letting his head fall in her warm embrace again. He wasn’t so sure about it. 

Hyejin was right. After three days of cold shoulders, the three of them managed to sit down and talk about what had happened. It was easy to apologize for the harsh words and acts, but it was a bit harder to make Haechan believe she didn’t fall for his best friend months ago. 

And even if Haechan was now sure about it, he couldn’t help but seethe every time he saw them together. He wanted to be the bigger person, but he wasn’t that mature yet. So that, and his need to at least have her around again, led to him nervously bounce his leg or play with his fingers as he heard them laugh in another room, or cook together, or watch a movie cuddled on the couch. 

We’re not dating. 

That was what they kept telling him, and pretty much everybody. 

Bullshits. 

It was what Haechan thought every time. 

Maybe they weren’t, but denying the feelings that were so evident between them, was absurd to him. 

But at least he —partially— had Hyejin back, right? That should’ve been the positive outcome of the whole situation; the healing of his suffering. Yet, it didn’t feel like it. 

So he tried to lock himself in his room and don’t even think about what was going on outside. The plan was successfully failing, he needed a bigger distraction, and he had tried pretty much everything — from going out to drinking himself to sleep, and nothing worked.

“Can we talk?” Haechan asked, standing in front of Hyejin that was sitting on the couch, cuddled up against the armrest, busy reading a book. 

Her eyes flickered up, staring at him as she shook the momentary confusion off. “Sure, sit,” she replied, patting the empty space next to her while bookmarking the page before placing the book on the coffee table in front of her. 

Haechan coughed, sitting down almost as if he was a stranger in his own house, and he suddenly got why he hated seeing her there so much. It reminded him how much she was part of his routine, how she would always try to spend time there for him, how much this felt like her house too, and now it was all for someone else. 

“Haechan?” She called his name when he didn’t talk. 

“Where’s Jaemin?” 

“In the shower,” she replied so nonchalantly as if it was so normal that she was waiting for him just like she used to do with him. “Why?” 

Haechan shook his head, pressing his lips in a thin line to swallow the bitterness he felt rise. “Just asking.” 

“Do you need the living room? I can go to his room —”

“No,” he stopped her, going to touch her with his hand but stopping mid-air. “I wanted to talk.” 

Hyejin sat back down, confusion even more evident on her face as she tried to decipher his expression. “Is this about the other day?” 

“No, we’ve already discussed it,” he said, leg bouncing nervously as he stared at the floor. “I just wanted to make conversation.” Lie. He wanted answers. Answers to questions not even he knew. If only there was something that made sense in his mind. 

“Oh, sure,” she replied, shifting to sit better. 

And when Haechan looked into her eyes he wondered if she couldn’t read him anymore or if she didn’t care to do it anymore, the latter was somehow much worse than the first one. 

“I heard you started painting again,” he said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice and look into her eyes, feeling his heart warm up when her eyes lightened up. 

“Yeah, I did,” she replied, smiling brightly. “Did Jaemin tell you?” 

“No, I… I overheard the other day while you were making, what was it? Bracelets?” He asked, faking he didn’t sulk on that for days as he regretted all the times he said ‘no’ when she asked to try to do DIY stuff just for fun. “Yes, bracelets,” he said when she hummed. “I was cooking but staring at the pot wasn’t interesting, so my ears got caught, sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine,” she giggled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

An awkward silence followed, something so jarring in their everyday life. They had shared their every day since they were three years old and there had never been an awkward silence or a dull moment between them, this was something they had no idea how to deal with, something that looked so scary if they dared to lean over and look at what the future held for them. 

This was the exact reason why Haechan was terrified of letting those cursed three words slip from his mouth three years ago. And he couldn’t believe his biggest fear was staring at him right in the eyes, mocking him carelessly. 

“I’m happy for you,” he said, letting her know the first thing that his brain could make up. It wasn’t a nicety, he truly was. Well, maybe he wasn’t exactly happy she moved on so easily, leaving him in the back as if a blow of wind had taken everything that had been between them, but he was glad she was happy and in love, whether it was because of Jaemin or her biggest passion. 

“I’m ha — thanks,” she said, stopping mid-phrase, when she realized she didn’t know what was going on in his life. “What are you up to?” 

Haechan shrugged. Maybe it was better not to have her at all if this was the only way he could have her now. It felt like a mockery she wasn’t the first one to know what he was up to. It felt crazy she couldn’t be happy for him because she didn’t know if he had something to be happy about. 

“Just the usual,” he shrugged, looking around the room, counting down the seconds for Jaemin to walk out of the bathroom so he could have an excuse to leave. 

“Did you see Zoya lately?” 

But at those words he snapped his neck to her, a deep furrow creasing his forehead. “Is this a test?” 

“No, I’m — I was just asking…” 

“Why would you ask about her?” 

Hyejin mouthed something, rubbing her neck. “I was just making conversation, she’s our friend.” 

“She’s the reason you broke up with me,” he replied, more bitterly than it sounded in his mind.  

“Haechan, do we have to do this again?” 

“We’re not doing it again, I just don’t get why you would bring her up. Don’t go back to your words, you told me you felt I still loved her and didn’t love you anymore, so why am I the bad guy when I remind you that?” 

Hyejin sighed. “I’m sorry, I… I wasn’t teasing, I was just genuinely asking. She told me you were avoiding her.” 

Haechan snickered, shaking his hair before getting up. “Of course, she did, you two are best friends now, right?” 

She furrowed, not understanding his sudden switch. “We’ve always been friends.” 

“Don’t act as if you loved her, you hated every time she came around.”

“I hated the way you looked at her, I never hated her,” she clarified, clenching her hand nervously next to her leg.  

Haechan scoffed, cocking his head to the side. “Oh, really? And how did I look at her?” 

“Like you loved her!” She screamed. 

“But when I say you and Jaemin love each other I’m the crazy one, right?” 

“What’s going on here?” Jaemin asked, entering the room with hesitant steps. 

“Nothing,” Haechan cut short, standing up to leave and go to his room, giving her his back and passing by his friend. “Maybe I need to make her fantasy come true.” 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. When Haechan called Zoya to ask her if she was free and drove to her place, his only intention was to get drunk and rant about his feelings while she listened and then do the same for her. 

So he wasn’t sure how they ended up naked on her bed, knuckles deep inside her while she moaned his name. 

It would’ve been easy to blame it on the alcohol, but the truth is that the cans of beer were mostly left untouched. 

The reason was bigger than that, but none of the two wanted to address the elephant in the room, and it was fine like this. Being tangled in the sheets wasn’t a new thing for them, surely years had passed, and they both went beyond the awkwardness of their first time, but there still was a familiar feeling lingering in the air. 

“Haechan, fuck,” Zoya moaned when his fingers curled, hitting her sensitive spot, and his lips sucked harshly on her clit. Her heart dropped in her chest as butterflies took flight in her stomach when he only grinned, staring straight into her eyes. If she wasn’t drunk on the feeling, she would’ve wondered since when he was this good at this, but it really didn’t matter when her legs were trembling and her lungs were gasping for air. 

“Too much for you?” He teased after pulling away from her with a loud pop sound, but replacing his tongue with his thumb, rubbing quick circles. “I’m not even started, yet.” 

No words left her mouth, the only reply was in her hands moving down to tangle in his hair and push his face back between her legs. Haechan grinned against her skin before resuming his movements. Tongue moving in swift licks and mouth sucking, while his other hand ran up her thigh, keeping her spread.

“Hyuck,” her voice came out like a whisper while her back arched, feeling the orgasm approach, fingers clenching harder in his hair and toes curling. And his name was the last thing she was able to say before her high hit. 

“Feared you weren’t letting me go,” Haechan joked, grinning playfully as he stood up once her fingers left his hair, bringing his fingers to his lips to lick them clean. 

Zoya chuckled, supporting her upper body on her elbows. “You changed a lot,” she said, staring into his eyes, slowly moving back against the bed as he crawled to her. 

“Is this a bad thing?” He asked, grabbing her chin to lift her face before letting his thumb run over her lips. 

“I don’t know,” she whispered, feeling the tension rise up in the air, “I feel like I still have to get to know the new you.” 

Haechan snickered. “Do you want to start getting a taste now?” 

A smile curled her lips as she moved closer to him, lips brushing. “I’m not dumb enough to say no.” 

This was a slippery slope and deep down in their hearts — and brains, too — they both knew it. But tonight it didn’t matter, tonight was just for fun. Nothing of this would’ve existed tomorrow. They could’ve pretended, leaving this as it was — a tangled mess of bodies and skin — and not an overcomplicated, emotional mess of feelings and fears, those were waiting outside at the door, but they would’ve faced them in the morning. 

Haechan was about to open his mouth and say something, but Zoya was quick at shutting him up, one hand over his mouth as she moved her head side to side. 

“Don’t,” she breathed out, glassy eyes looking into his, “Please, don’t say a word. Just fuck me.”

And he didn’t make her repeat herself, nodding quickly before slipping inside of her, watching her mouth part at the stretch as he eased down until he bottomed down. 

“Fuck,” they both muttered at the same time, eyes fluttering shut for a split second before they opened again. 

“Move,” she ordered, “do I have to guide you through this or can you fuck me good?”

Haechan furrowed, grunting under his breath, “I can fuck you good, and better than any other man has ever done. You should know that.”

Zoya scoffed. “I’ve had much better sex after you. You know, you weren’t that great.”

It could’ve easily been a trick to drive him past his limit and start fucking into her, but Haechan didn’t care. He wanted to prove to her he was the best she ever had. 

“Is this how you want it? Hard and rough?” He teased, head tilting to the side as he watched her face let go into pleasure, head slightly rolled back while soft, husky moans slipped from her mouth. “Is this how my replacements gave it to you?”

A crease formed on her forehead as she forced herself to don’t reply. “You moved on, too,” she said, parting her eyes to meet his. “Much faster than me.”

Haechan scoffed. “Were you keeping tabs on me? Couldn’t even let me know if you were alive but were making sure to know my every single move?”

“Just shut up,” she groaned, pulling him closer by his hair, tugging at them harshly, biting his lower lip, making him whimper. 

“What if I don’t want to? What if I want to — mmph — fuck,” he mumbled when she cupped his chin and squeezed tight. 

“You don’t,” she replied sternly, taking advange of his momentary state of surprise to turn the situation around, pushing him on his back on the other side of the bed, quickly fixing her body on top of him. “You shut up and fuck me like I tell you to, okay?” 

“This is not me fucking you, it’s you fucking me.” 

“Good,” she breathed out, “better even, so you don’t act up.” 

“I was just —” his words died in his mouth when she pushed two fingers inside, pressing down on his tongue, making him gag. “Suck,” she ordered. “You’re so good with your mouth when you suck, so keep it busy.”

Haechan wanted to complain but he physically couldn’t, and honestly, after a few seconds, he couldn’t even care. Not when she was riding him so well, filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin filling his brain and getting him drunker on the feeling. He wasn’t used to this, going back to back into stable relationships he rarely felt the heat of irrational sex, and even more hate sex. He could read it in her thrusts, she was mad, angry at him, but didn’t dare to say anything out loud, so she unloaded in another way. And he was mad too, he was so angry, and he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know anything anymore. 

“Fuck, that’s good,” she hissed, throwing her head back, sinking her nails into his chest while the others kept keeping his mouth full. “Just take it and don’t say a word,” she ordered when she pulled her fingers out, messily smearing the spit on his chin. 

And he didn’t complain, he couldn’t, it felt good, and he felt like he needed to be punished a bit, he deserved to be put back in his place. 

And with all those emotions running through their bodies, it didn’t take long for them to come. Panting bodies, needy hands, and breathy, desperate moans, making a mess on the sheets, letting out senseless words and curses, before everything came to an alt. 

Her body collapsed on his, and with the few strength left his arm wrapped around her waist, thumb caressing a patch of skin. 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. 

“I think I fucked things up,” Jaemin and Zoya said at the same time as they sat down at a table at the bar where they set the date.  

“You start,” they voiced out together, rolling their eyes at their thing today. 

“I fucked with Haechan,” Zoya confessed, nervously biting her lower lip. 

“You did what?” He gasped, eyes widening in shock while his mouth hung open. 

“What you heard, Jaemin. Please, don’t make me repeat it,” she huffed, rubbing her temple.  

“But why?” Jaemin asked. “I mean, you’re allowed to do what you want, but you were the one telling me he was a prohibited zone?” 

“He was, I mean, he is, I just,” she sighed, running a hand in her hair, and looking outside at the street before bringing her attention to her friend. “I guess we both felt lonely and it’s easier to fall in the arms of a friend than a stranger,” she shrugged. 

Jaemin chuckled bitterly, bitterness filling his heart, but Zoya looked at him with a confused expression, thinking for a moment he was mocking her. “Oh, no, I agree. I kinda did the same thing.” 

“Don’t tell me…” Zoya whispered, and when Jaemin lowered his head, giving her a silent answer, she gasped. “You said you weren’t going to be near her like that!” 

“She did it first!” Jaemin justified. “I tried to push her out of my mind, I swear I tried to erase my feelings because even if he was a shitty boyfriend, I still felt wrong for that, but it happened…” 

Zoya was speechless, looking around as if she could find the words somewhere, before her gaze fell back on him, trying to comfort him with a smile. “Tell me he doesn’t know?” 

“He knows, he punched me,” Jaemin facepalmed. 

“Oh, Lord…” she gasped, quickly covering her mouth with her hands. “At least, are you two together? Because I’m not saying I would feel less guilty, but I would.” 

“She doesn’t care about me,” Jaemin whispered. “Not like I care about her.” 

She frowned. “But you said she started it?” 

“It was just sex, Zoya. She’s never been with anybody but Haechan, she wanted to get laid the other night when we went clubbing, but she sucks at flirting, and I simply was there, right time, right moment.” 

The coldness behind his voice made her sad, watching him try to cope with it and pretend he didn’t care, sucked. “But why would you say yes if you love her?” 

“Because I thought it was better than nothing,” he replied before sighing. “And because I thought I could make some magic tricks with my dick and make her fall for me, what a dumbass.” 

Zoya chuckled before reaching for his hand and caressing it. “But… are you sure she doesn’t even like you a little bit? You two are close.” 

“Did Haechan talk about us?” 

“He did, he ranted saying you go around looking like a couple to rub it in his face, but he didn’t talk about the sex thing,” Zoya explained. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, of course, he was going around saying they acted like a couple. “We don’t, he’s just jealous. Hyejin might not love me, but she’s happy with me, and she’s also happy with herself in a way she simply wasn’t when she was with him.” 

Zoya sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “He wasn’t like that when we were dating. I had my insecurities and fears, but he rarely fed into them. I’m not saying he was the best boyfriend ever but… he was.” 

“I know right? He’s not a bad person, but you agree that Hyejin is shining now that they’re not together anymore?” 

Zoya exhaled deeply. “Yeah, it’s true.” 

“Anyway, should we order and stop talking about this? It’s kinda making me sad,” Jaemin chuckled, handing her the menu. 

Zoya smiled, nodding. “Sure, before my appetite disappears.” 

Lunch went on fine, talking about more and less, and somehow never going back to the ‘Hyechan’ topic again, but when they were walking around town and the things to say to each other about the week ran out, Jaemin couldn’t help but ask. 

“So, what will you do with Haechan?” 

Zoya stopped abruptly, taking her eyes off from a bag in the window and looking at him. “Nothing, it was just sex and a very dumb idea.” 

“Do you still love him?” 

She gulped, swirling the liquid in her cup to take her time. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped loving him. But I can’t do this to Hyejin… it would be like proving her right, and potentially even putting her against Donghyuck because she’ll think he was in love with me even when they were together.” 

Jaemin hummed. It made sense, it sucked, but it made sense morally. “That’s how you felt when you found out they started dating after you left?” 

Zoya hummed, fighting back the tears. “Yeah… I can’t do this to her.” 

“So we’re fucked?” Jaemin asked. “We might as well give us a try, maybe it was supposed to be like this.” 

Zoya laughed, pushing him away with a light slap on his arm. “I doubt we will work romantically.” 

“No, no, I agree,” he giggled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. “I just wish it was easier. I wish it wasn’t like walking on a tightrope with the risk of losing friends…” 

“Haechan doesn’t talk to you anymore?” 

Jaemin hummed. “Just greetings, and when we talk about something else, we bicker.” 

“I can talk to him,” she proposed, genuinely feeling sad it all came down to this.  

“No, I’m in the wrong too because I get aggressive and defensive even when he tries to simply communicate. I’m stressed and scared, and I fuck things up too. And if I was him, I wouldn’t trust me anymore… I should’ve said no to her. It was like stabbing him in the back.” 

“Or maybe we should all be looser and let everything find its place? She’s not going back to him, so she might as well come to you.” 

“You just said you can’t take Haechan back because it would be like betraying her trust?” 

“It’s different, I’m his ex, the reason why she already felt insecure for months, years, if we want to be honest. If I get in the picture, I would tear their friendship apart too, and they don’t deserve it. I have to take a step back, breathe, and remind myself that there are thousands of other people in the world waiting for me, and Haechan is not one of these.” 

Another sigh left his lips as he nodded. “Still, if she doesn’t love me there’s nothing I can do. I’m sure she will find her person, and I’ll be happy for her when it happens.” 

Jeno should’ve thought twice before inviting every person of his groups of friends to this small party he threw. It was nothing wild, something to drink, something to eat, and music playing from the speakers. The place was crowded as there were a lot of +1, but the air was still breathable… for some people at least. 

Haechan wasn’t having a great time as he held in his hand the — by now — empty glass and pierced his gaze on Jaemin and Hyejin that had never stopped dancing together since they arrived. 

It should have been none of his business, he could’ve easily looked away and maybe even flirt with anybody else, but he couldn’t. 

“Can you at least tell me if I’ll ever have you in my life again?” 

When Hyejin walked out on the balcony of a bedroom upstairs, she didn’t expect Haechan to follow her. She thought Jaemin was going to tag along and enjoy the peace of the quiet of the night, but instead, a very heartbroken Haechan was standing in front of her. 

“I didn’t want to follow you,” he said, leaning against the window, “but I need to talk to you. I need answers because I hate everything about this, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

“And what do you want to know? I can’t see into the future, Haechan. I can’t promise you or Jaemin anything…” 

Haechan huffed. “See, you always bring him up. And it’s like you do it on purpose to rub it on my face. I hate seeing you with him, not like this, not so soon.” 

Hyejin scoffed. “Then why didn’t you show me you cared when we were together?”

“But I do! I did care, we could’ve solved this by talking instead of cutting things off.” 

“I didn’t cut you off, I needed time. I will never be able to live my life without you, at least that’s what I think, but I opened my eyes and realized that that wasn’t your place.” 

Haechan felt his heart drop. At this point this wasn’t even about love, it was about everything that had been between them since they were little. They were walking on a tightrope with no safety net, something they’d never done before, and the outcomes looked terrifying. “And it’s his? It’s Jaemin’s?” 

“I don’t know,” she said. “He’s just a friend…” 

He scoffed. “Oh, seriously? You treat friends like you treat him?” 

“He cares for me,” she retorted, brain running faster to come up with an answer. “Maybe that’s why you’re mad and jealous, you are afraid he will treat me better than you even as a friend, you’re terrified he will take me away from you. But tell me, are you mad for losing me as a lover or are you shitting yourself for losing me as a friend? As your best friend, as the one that has always been by your side. The one that cleaned your wounds, the one that walked with you every step of your life. Because I shit myself too when I think that maybe we will never have that back when I think that I lost you and there’s nothing I can do to have you back,” her voice came out higher than she wanted to as she tried to fight against her tears and don’t sob like a child, but the alcohol and the conversation weren’t helping.  

Haechan took a step closer. “I don’t know. I wish I knew but I don’t know. I… I miss you and I don’t know what I miss of you. But I hate that you lie to me. You let him kiss you just two seconds ago, I saw you, and I… I never felt more jealous than this in my life. I want to be the one kissing you, I want to hold you, I want to…” he sighed, looking down at the floor. “I want you.” 

Hyejin sniffled, shaking her head. “Do you really? Or is it just because we are the only ones we’ve ever known, and we’re terrified of navigating life in a different way? I… I’m so confused and every time I think I’ve taken a step forward, I see you and it takes me back to the start.” 

“Then let’s give it another chance…” he said, holding her hand. 

“I can’t… Jaemin…” 

“So you see you like him?”

“I don’t know if I do. I don’t want to use him, but I don’t know what I’m feeling. I know I feel good with him, and I know he gets me so much, Hyuck, you don’t understand how easily and quickly Jaemin understands me, you have no idea how he makes me feel. But I’m terrified, I’m afraid I’m rushing everything, and I don’t want to lose him too.” 

“I can make you feel good, too. I used to understand you so easily, what happened?” 

“I don’t know what happened, but something happened and here we are…” she said, looking into his eyes. They were standing so close to each other now, and she felt her heart skip a beat. But this didn’t feel like it used to feel. Staring into his eyes, she could only see blurred lines and holes. Surely there was tension, but she knew it was driven by dumbness. 

“Please, just another chance.” 

She felt the need to lean forward, to kiss him, to feel his lips again, but she couldn’t. “I can’t.” 

“Why? Are you two dating? Or is he the only one having feelings for you?” 

“It’s because I know you don’t love me and it’s just jealousy.” 

“You always know everything, don’t you?” 

Hyejin lowered her head, hugging herself as she felt her heart slump into a void. No, she didn’t know a thing. She needed to let go, but holding onto Haechan was so tempting when he was her safety net her whole life. And right now, he was right there, begging for another chance, just like she wanted before she took her decision of breaking up. 

“It’s always on me,” Haechan said, walking closer to her, pushing her close to the wall, “it’s me loving somebody else, it’s me not caring for you enough, what about you? What about your feelings for him?”

“I broke my back to be with you, I started doing so many things for you, I… I even tried to look past all of our differences to make it work and you only… you didn’t even meet me halfway.” 

“Tell me you love him,” he urged. “Tell me you love him as much as you love me, now. Tell me pushing me out of your life has made you feel better!” He said, crying. 

“I don’t love him, I don’t even want to think about him,” she screamed before impulses took over and she kissed him. Haechan immediately kissed her back, hands cupping her face as he pushed her against the hard frame of the window, bodies pressing against each other. 

A stupid urge that was going to stain that picture with more blood, especially when their hands moved to undo the buttons on their pants, touching each other in a way they haven’t done in months, feeling adrenaline and pain rush in their blood. 

“I can still give you so much,” Haechan whispered while his fingers moved in circles on her clit, still covered by the panties. “Don’t leave me, Hyejin. I need you so fucking much.” 

“I — I need you too, but I — I don’t,” she sighed, head rolling against the hard surface because of his fingers. “I don’t know how I need you.” 

“Don’t think, don’t worry, we’ll solve this. We can do that, we’ve been through so much together.” 

Hyejin nodded, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. Not this time, a solution wasn’t going to arrive for this. Always, but not this time, not so soon, not now, and not like this. 

“Please, let me make you feel good,” he whispered, kissing her cheek, waiting for her answer, a nod was all he got and a small smile. 

But his slender fingers knuckles deep inside of her didn’t feel as good as they used to. The physical pleasure wasn’t enough to suppress the emotional pain they were feeling. The uncertainty, the mess, and the future. Her hands quickly moved up and down his hard dick, trying to focus on him too, trying to feel him more, to make this look like it was, but nothing was like before, it was all different, and they both knew all of this had no meaning, no depth, no feelings if not regrets and fears. 

When the glass shattering echoed in the room, they both brought their teary eyes to the source of the sound. Jaemin was standing there. 

His eyes immediately locked with Hyejin’s as he tried to hold back his tears, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible but somehow feeling stuck. 

They all felt the same way, almost as if every single one of them was in the wrong and had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. 

Yet, the first one to break this tension was him. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were alone,” he quickly voiced out before stepping out of the room and closing the door. 

“I — I…” 

“You have to run after him,” Haechan finished for her, moving away from her, looking at the floor, quickly buckling his pants again and cleaning his fingers on them. 

“Aren’t you mad?” 

“Am I happy? No. But mad? For what?” he whispered. “I’m just terrified because I don’t have answers, but I’m pretty sure you have them, so go and finish this.” 

“But we kissed, and your fingers were into me two seconds ago.” 

“And?” 

“And…” she said, lightly shaking her head to urge him to make two plus two and come to a conclusion.  

“It wasn’t like before. It was full of fears and thousands of things we never had the courage to face. Not you, not me,” he sighed, sniffling. “I’m sorry.” 

Hyejin raised her eyes, feeling tears drip down. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either but maybe we really need more time off. I don’t think I’ll truly get over you if I keep seeing your face, if I keep seeing you with him.” 

“But what if I’m using him? What if… what if what I’m feeling it’s just momentary? He doesn’t deserve this.” 

“He loves you enough to pay the price for giving it a try. He would’ve left you behind months ago if he didn’t truly care for you. And I hate this so much but… yeah, you’re right, knowing that you’re with him drives me so mad because I know he will love you more than I ever did, and I’ve always been your only one your entire life. I’m not used to being on the sidelines of your life, and I act like a child when it happens.” 

Hyejin sobbed, shaking her head. “But I don’t want to push you on the sidelines.” 

“But you’ve only had eyes for me your entire life, and I’ve drugged myself into that feeling, and now that your eyes are not for me only, I feel lost, scared, and worthless. And it’s selfish, and you’ve already been enough selfless for me, I can’t ask you to be selfless even this time. Go to him, go to him before this thing can get messier.” 

“What if… what if I’m not ready? What if it’s not about him but me?” 

“He still deserves an explanation. I don’t care, blame it on me, Hye, say anything, but don’t hurt him. You were all over him all night, and me and my stupid games lead you here.” 

“Our stupid games,” she whispered. “I still don’t know what to tell him.” 

“Anything. Just don’t hurt him.” 

“Hey,” her voice resonated weakly in the night air as she rested her arms on the terrace, standing next to Jaemin. 

He was quick at wiping his nose and cheeks quickly before coughing and turning to her, nodding his head in a small greeting. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, gaze fixed on him even if he was staring at the road in front of them. 

“For what?” 

“You know for what,” she said. 

“No, I don’t,” he replied. 

She sighed. “That I kissed him.” 

Jaemin shrugged, peeling the crusty paint on the rail. “My fault for not knocking, I hope I didn’t ruin the mood.” 

She sighed. “You… you don’t care?” 

“Why would I?” 

“Because… I don’t know, I thought that we…” 

“We just fucked once, and made out before, it’s meaningless,” he said, a bitter smile on his lips. “I understand, really. It’s not easy to move on from what you had.” 

“You think I still love him?” 

“I don’t care,” he said, taking a step back. 

“You don’t? I thought — I thought you did…” 

“You’re a grown-up, you don’t need me to make a choice. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been one of the options to pick so, I don’t care.” 

“But you said — you said all those things, about me and him,” she said. 

“Weren’t they true?” 

“Yes, that’s why I broke up with him. Now you’re fine with me going back?” 

“I don’t care,” he repeated sternly, but it felt like he was trying to convince himself. “It’s up to you to decide if it’s a smart choice or not. Who knows, maybe he’ll learn this time.” 

She sniffled, looking down. “So… we were just… just sex and… and kisses?” 

“Kisses,” he snickered. 

“What? Don’t act as if we didn’t kiss more than friends would.” 

“Friends don’t kiss, Hyejin. They simply don’t.” 

“But we did… not only now, we… when we’re cooking together, when you drop me off work, when you…” 

“And you kissed him, well, you were all over him, I wouldn’t even call it a kiss,” he pointed out. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jaemin shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Not my first time being a rebound.” 

“You’re not a rebound.” 

“Well, whatever I am, it’s clear you don’t love me, so let’s just stop with this. it’s clearly just attraction,” he said. “No more kisses from now on.” 

Hyejin shook her head. “No, not from now,” she said, reaching him. “From tomorrow.” 

But Jaemin pushed her away. 

“You can’t force something that’s not meant to be.” 

“How do you know?” 

“What?” 

“That it’s not meant to be, how do you always know everything? Why do you have to be wiser than me? Why can’t you be stupid and do stupid things like kissing me, over and over, until I have no more air in my lungs? Why… why can’t you fight for me?” She asked, feeling her throat close while her eyes got foggy again. 

“You want me to fight?” 

“I want you to want me.” 

“I want you,” Jaemin said, feeling his heart break for his following words, “I don’t love you, that’s the difference.” 

And as Jaemin left her outside alone, the truth started to sink in while she stared at the ghost he left behind. She had lost both loves of her life in one night. 

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[stardust948]

Frenemies AU angst

(I found this in my drafts and decided to post it. Based off this post.)

Iroh is a senior in military school or already in the military. The parents gaang is junior year in HS so around 16 and 17

Ozai still lives with Azulon but Azulon is hardly at home bc of work. When he is there or when Ozai knows he’s coming soon, he just doesn’t come back until he leaves again. Either stays with Ursa in her RV or roams around town in his car. Later stays with Hakoda and Bato when they become closer friends.

Azulon blames Ozai for Ilah’s death since she died during childbirth. He’s always been emotionally and verbally abusive to Ozai but it didn’t get physical until Iroh left for military boarding school. Ozai was 8-10ish. Mainly involved being burned or tased, which left less of physical scars.

There was a big fight between the two when Ozai announced he wanted to go to Republic Arts high school and pursue a career as a musician. Azulon wanted Ozai to follow his footsteps and go to military school like Iroh. But he backed off after Iroh vouched for his brother. Still, he refused to pay for the school but Ozai earned a scholarship and Iroh covered the rest. Ozai swore up and down he’d pay him back but Iroh just told him to give him free backstage access to his concerts and they’re even. Azulon and Ozai avoided each other after that; strangers in the same home. They physical abuse ended but the threat was still there and the mental scars lasting.

After the incident at the contest, Ursa finds Ozai sitting in his car at the school’s parking lot. She knows better to ask if he’s alright or what was wrong. Instead, she tells him to get into her car and they go back to her RV. There, they spend the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling. Ozai’s feeling somewhat better in the morning; able to speak some but not back to his usual loveable a-hole self. Though he is confused to receive a text from Hakoda of all people checking on him.

Hakoda: Hey man, you good?

Ozai: Are you seriously asking me if I’m good after burning a layer of my skin off?

Hakoda: You kinda just left after without a word.

Ozai: Because I burned a layer of my skin off.

Hakoda: Ozai, I’ve seen you explode over someone using your special pen without permission but you just shut down after burning your hand. Are you sure you’re okay?

Ozai: Who won?

Hakoda: Poppy.

Ozai: We’re going to be hearing about that for all next week.

Hakoda: She was pretty worried about you. We all were. You know, you can talk to me if you want.

Ozai: I just wanted to know who won. Now stop bothering me or I’m blocking you.  

Ozai closed his phone. Just then Ursa stuck her head through the door.

“Hey, my mom made pancakes. You want any?”

Ozai shook his head.

“Alright honey. Keep an eye on my children. I’ll be right back.”

Ozai smiled some as he rolled his eyes. Ursa always referred to her hoard of plants and succulents as her children. Still exhausted, he laid back down and pulled the cover over his head. Out of curiosity, he check his phone one last time.

Hakoda: Ok. See at school.

Ozai powered down his phone. He didn’t have the energy to be annoyed. He ran a hand along the bandages before drifting back to sleep.

///

The conversation they had in the janitor’s closet came flooding back. Hakoda’s seen Ozai fly off the rail many times, but that was the first time he looked guenically hurt. Hakoda’s clumsy joke about Dads also didn’t help. Hakoda cringed at the memory.

His mind drifted to the events after. The dark play Ozai wrote about the little boy slowly dying in the burning building wishing only to see his father again. Finally meeting Ozai’s father with his cold exterior and calculating eyes that made even the brash self-confident Ozai shrink back. And to top it off, Ozai saying he’d never seen his father look happier.

Hakoda didn’t know what to think at the time. He just assumed Azulon was like his father, criticizing his every move and lamenting how he wasn’t good enough.

///

Ozai refuses to bring it up despites Ursa’s suggestions of seeking professional help, even after he and Ursa wed and had children. Not until he lost his temper with Zuko and almost burned him like Azulon. Zuko’s horrified scream snapped Ozai out of it last second. Falling back onto old habits, Ozai took shelter in his car for the night and wept bitterly. Ursa finds him and directly tells him to get help which he finally relents.

It's very slow going but beneficial in the long run. Most importantly, his children never saw that side of Ozai again.

@waterfire1848

[onlinekitsune]

Hello, I was wondering if you could do the brothers reacting to a s/o with a connective tissue disorder? Mc’s joints will lock up, dislocate, get winded easily, etc and they’ll just act like it’s normal lol. (Ps, it’s fun on the stairs lol)

yes of course!! i apologize for the lateness, I’ve been a bit sick but i hope you enjoy!! i actually go through a same thing so it was pretty nice to write this! i didn’t really think to write about it so i’m glad you gave me the chance!! thank you for the suggestion!!!! <3

LUCIFER ; you didn’t tell him about your issue, partially because you didn’t want to bother him, other half because you kinda forgot (surprising i know), he was quick to find out though, he’d noticed how you’d fall behind sometimes when you’d walk with him, he’d patiently wait for you but never rush you or mock you, on one occasion your knee did the unfortunate thing of locking up when going down the stairs, luckily he was there to catch you, he’d immediately pick you up despite your hesitance to let him, he wanted to make sure you were safe and not having to be in too much pain, ever since then he’d make sure to hold you hand while going down the stairs or walking long distances

MAMMON ; this demon was incredibly oblivious, to most things including this, he never knew why you’d trail behind, or would have to pause a bunch, he’d almost mock you for it (unknowing that it wasn’t something you couldn’t control), you’d apologize for keeping him up while you leaned against a wall using it as support, his eyes widen seeing how winded you were and noticing you avoiding pressure on one of your legs, he’d ask a million times if you were okay and if you needed anything, he was very worried about you, after explaining your situation he’d complain that you didn’t say anything sooner, he’d be very protective of you whenever he was with you, even carrying to and from places if needed

LEVIATHAN ; he would notice you would get up every so often from your gaming sessions with him, you’d walk around a bit, sometimes stretch out your legs just so your knee wouldn’t lock up, he’d look at you with curious eyes but not say anything, in fear he’d upset you, when you do catch him looking you’d obviously explain it to him, he beat himself up for not knowing sooner (even if he couldn’t have known), after that he’d set alarms to remind you to stretch out and walk around, he’d help you occasionally, blushing as bright as he could while holding your hand while you walk around his room, since he didn’t physically attend rad he’d worry for you constantly, texting you almost every second asking if you were okay, that if you needed him he would drop anything to come help you, despite how much of a recluse he was

SATAN ; while browsing the library you didn’t expect to come across a book about your connective tissue disorder, you didn’t think the devildom would have books like that, satan saw your interest about it and asked why you were browsing through it, before you could explain your body did it for you, your knee buckled almost causing you to fall, luckily satan was there to help assist you to a place you could sit, you would finish explaining it to him and share your experiences with it, the next morning when you’d come for breakfast satan approached you telling you what would help the most for your occasional swelling and joint pain, he’d even plan to go to get you to best things to help with it, you noticed the stack of books besides him, you couldn’t help but feel touch by his nerdiness 

ASMODEUS ; asmo noticed the smallest details about you, and you didn’t really know how but he did, he notice how you’d be winded sometimes, or how your joints would be a bit swollen, he’d lovingly pester you to go in his room, where he would pamper you to hell and beyond, he’d run a warm bath along with his most precious bath oils, and make sure you were completely comfortable, he’d offer you messages if you’d want it, and anything else he could possibly do to make you a bit better or at least get your mind off of it, he wasn’t the strongest of the bunch but he’d offer his shoulder to lean on (physically and mentally), he’d also spoil you way too much but he made it so very hard to decline

BEELZBUB ; he was sporty and athletic, he’d seen injuries and knew how to take care of them, at least at a basic point of view, so when he’d see you struggling with your joints he’d take care of you, during the days when things were very difficult he made you crash in his room so it was easier to take care of you, he’d also bring your fav foods just to cheer you up and to distract from your pain, with beel by your side everything was so easy, body giving out from walking too much or it’s just one of those days? no worries beel is here, he’d throw you over his shoulders like it was nothing, he was a big softie when it came to taking care of you

BELPHEGOR ; in ways you and belphie were similar, your condition made you exhausted most of the time, causing you to crash at somewhat random places in the house, belphie found you once laying in an odd position, he’d make sure you would be in a postion where your joints weren’t hurting when you awake, you only told him about your condition in passing but he made a mental note and underlined it, other times when you’d fall asleep at a chair or the couch he’d just carry you to his room, and take a nap beside you, being there in case there was something you needed, he didn’t make it too obvious but he was worried about you, sometimes not even sleeping while you napped, to make sure you were still okay

[starlitangels]

DTR

So, between the Dinner Date video and the sleep aid video, Vincent’s title changed from just “A Flirty Vampire” to “Your Flirty Vampire Boyfriend.” But we never got the conversation in-between resulting in such a change. The DTR (Define the Relationship) as it were. This is the Vincent and Lovely I was brainrotting for and posted about two days ago! Told ya it was still coming! 1.5k words (almost exactly!)

—

“Vincent?” I called the second I stepped through the door to the house. I kicked off my shoes in the pile of both of ours that intermingled next to the garage door.

Zip! “Hey lovely. How was class?” Vincent asked.

I smiled. “It was alright,” I replied.

His expression fell a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just have had a lot on my mind, that’s all,” I replied.

Vincent bit at his lower lip, like he was trying to decide how to respond to that.

“Vincent—can we talk?” I asked.

If he wasn’t already so pale, he would have lost all the color in his face. “O-of course. If that’s what you want. Sure. Do… do you wanna sit down?” He gestured toward the living room. I nodded. He led the way to the living room and perched on the very edge of one end of the sofa. I plopped down on the other end, turning to face him. He twisted to make sure he was facing me too. “What… what do you want to talk about?”

I swore under my breath. “I’ve been thinking about this all day but, now that the moment is here I’m kinda freaking out,” I said.

“Are you thinking about moving out?” Vincent looked heartbroken, but I already saw reluctant acceptance forming in his eyes.

“No!” I exclaimed. I swore again, quietly. “Look. I’ve been living here for a while. And I’ve really enjoyed it. You’ve been a great person to live with.” I sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth. “I just think I’m ready to talk about…” I closed my eyes to fortify myself and opened them again. “Us.”

Vincent’s lips parted in surprise. “Okay,” he said softly.

“There… there’s no beating around the bush with the fact that I’ve found you attractive since the night we met,” I continued. That sparked a tiny smile on his face. “And our little cat-and-mouse game was fun. Teasing, flirting. I enjoyed it, before—” I didn’t finish that sentence. I didn’t have to. The way Vincent’s jaw clenched showed he understood. “Dancing around my non-belief in vampires, I wasn’t sure, back then, where we’d end up. I thought the vampire thing was mostly just messing around. I liked… God, this feels embarrassing to admit. I liked the way your little coy smirks made my heart flutter. That time I came home and you were just on my bed, the impulsive part of me would have run away with you right then if you asked.”

Vincent laughed quietly. “It wouldn’t have come to that,” he remarked. “I’m perfectly content to stay in Dahlia.”

“I know. But the fact remains that I would have. I wanted you that bad.” I took another deep breath. “And then… then Adam.” I swallowed hard. Vincent’s face turned sad. “And I had to reassess everything. I had magic I’d never known about, borne out of me by trauma that I’m still recovering from.” I licked my lips, realizing how dry my mouth was getting with all the talking. “But, in the wake of that, you… you stepped up in a different way. I know some of that was fuelled by guilt. I maintain that it wasn’t entirely your fault—if I wasn’t a dumbass and went back to the park after you told me not to, it could have been avoided. I know you don’t see it that way. And that’s fine.

“But you let me stay here. You opened your home to me when mine no longer felt safe. You’ve held me when I woke up from nightmares more times than I can bother to count. You’ve helped me take control of my life back and helped me find resources to heal.

“All while asking nothing in return. Expecting nothing. Just… giving me space.”

I closed my eyes.

“All of this to say, Vincent—I do have a point, surprisingly—I’ve really appreciated everything you’ve done for me. I’ve loved getting to know you the normal way. I’m grateful you’ve let me set the pace of this, pushing nothing on me. I can’t imagine a lot of other people would have done the same to the degree you’ve done if they were faced with the same circumstances.”

Vincent reached out as though to set a hand on my knee, but rested it on the couch cushion near my knee instead. Never touching without permission. “It’s been the least I can do,” he said.

“No, it’s not the least. It’s a lot. And I don’t want you to think it’s gone unnoticed.”

“Well, thank you,” he said, sounding awkward. “But I don’t think I deserve it.”

I put my hand on top of his. “Vincent,” I said. He immediately tensed under my hand. “We’ve started a good thing, this little life we’ve carved out with each other. I’ve loved it. Making dinner together, going out for dessert. The little things. I… I still really like you, Vincent. It should come as no surprise that I still find you incredibly attractive. You are. You’re handsome and you’re kind and gentle and sweet and I’ve never minded the flirting. I liked it before Adam, and I still do. I appreciate that you backed it up a little. I needed that. But now…” I swallowed and took a deep fortifying breath, steeling myself to make sure I was brave enough to say the words out loud.

“Now I think I’m ready to try being in a relationship with you, if that’s what you want.”

He blinked slowly at me. “Lovely…”

“I… I’d like to be your partner, Vincent. If that’s… something you’d be down for.”

His mouth hung agape. “Can… can I kiss you?” he whispered.

“Please,” I breathed.

He was beside me on the sofa in an instant, cradling my face gently in both his long, slender hands.

Delicate and tender, he brushed his lips against mine. Barely enough to qualify as a kiss. Careful not to go too far. Completely ignoring the shock of static electricity that snapped between us from my new powers.

Just that tiny speck of contact left us both a little breathless. He pulled back just enough to meet my eyes. His were wide and his lips were parted. In the half-light of the living room, that we hadn’t even bothered to flip the switch to see, his pupils were dilated wide, nearly swallowing the silver of his irises. But not the same black his eyes had become when he snapped in the park and drank my blood. That had been predatory and all-consuming. This was different.

I tried to calm the raging beat of my heart in my chest, staring back at him with a similar expression. Our breath mingled in the air between us, hot and heavy.

At the same moment, we lurched toward each other and crashed our lips together. His mouth was strong, but gentle. Never pushing against me too hard. I grabbed at his shoulders, pulling him as close to me as I could get him, not resisting when his hand found my thigh and hooked it up over him until I was straddling his lap.

Tongues got involved only seconds after.

But when Vincent’s hand started to tug up my shirt, I grabbed his wrist and pulled away. “Wait,” I whispered, panting. “I… I don’t think I’m ready for more than this, yet.”

He nodded, breathing hard, and withdrew his hand. “Okay,” he said. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. You’re still setting the pace, lovely.”

Swallowing, I nodded. “Thank you, Vincent.” I rested my forehead against his. He breathed deeply as our eyes closed. The hand he’d withdrawn from my shirt cupped the side of my face, and we just stayed there. Calming down our racing heartbeats.

“I’m, uh, I’m guessing this means I get to introduce myself as your boyfriend, now?” he asked. I peeked one eye open to see a playful grin on his face. Almost teasing and impish, but not quite.

“I’d like that, yeah,” I said. He breathed a laugh.

Through my peeked eye, I saw him open his wider. “When did the… did you turn the lights on?” He looked around.

I leaned up. The lights were all on. The overheads and the lamps on the end tables.

“No?” I said.

In that moment, they all shut off. My magic caught in the Core in my chest.

Vincent threw his head back against the backrest of the sofa and laughed. “You are amazing, lovely.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m grateful for this chance you’re giving me. I don’t plan to ever take it for granted. Nor the feelings I have for you.”

“Me neither. I’m excited to give this—to give us—a shot.”

“I am too.” He smiled that charming, flirtatious smile of his. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Please do.”

He leaned up and met my lips, his fingers gentle but firm on either side of my face. I would never get over the feeling of his lips on mine.

—

Tag list: @zozo-01 @thegoldenlittlerose

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Confessions: Neyetam Sully

Avatar Masterlist 

word count: 900

Request: Hi can I request a neteyam x human reader where she works in the lab and he comes to visit her a lot and he gets jealous because the other guys that work in the lab flirt with her but neither of them have confessed their feelings to each other yet. He's 18 and she's 19-20

Neyetam couldn't help but smile as he watched you work loving how cute you were when you were focused on whatever you are working on today. At first, Neyetam didn't understand why you loved science so much but the more time he spent with you, the more he came to appreciate it and help you out when he could. The only downside was that you worked with other guys who seemed to love to compete with him for your attention, leaving him to wonder if you even liked him in the same way that he liked you.

"What's wrong Ney? You've been quiet all day." You asked slightly nudging his arm.

"Oh, nothing. I should get going." He said standing up from his spot making you frown.

"Oh, okay. Will I see you tomorrow?" You asked hopefully.

"Maybe, I've got some older son duties to handle, so I'm not sure yet." He said to you hating to see the disappointment on your face.

"It's okay, I understand. Have a nice night Ney." You said to him watching him leave.

It had now been three days since you saw or spoke to Neyetam, leaving you to wonder if you did something to upset him. You had grown accustomed to talking to him and having him around at the lab, and now it felt weird not to have him there. You would never admit to anyone else but

"You've been so quiet lately. Is something going on?" Kiri asked you.

"It's just Neyetam...he's been avoiding me the last few days and I don't what I did to upset him." You said to her as you worked in your journal.

"It's not something you did per say...it's just Neyetem." She said.

"What do you mean Kiri?" You asked her confused now.

"She means that Neyetam likes you a lot but he doesn't think you like him back because of all the guys here that flirt with you." Lo'ak said as the realization hits you.

"He really thinks that I would date anyone here? Is he being for real right?" You asked them shocked because you had been in love with Neyetam forever, no one else was on your radar, especially the guys you worked with.

"Does that mean you like him back?" Kiri asked hopefully.

"Always have, always will but I probably blew my chance with you." You said disappointedly as the lab door opened and in walked the very man you had been talking about.

Neyetam had felt bad about ignoring you the last few days and figured that today he would try and talk to you and maybe figure out where your head was out regarding your two's relationship. He was about to walk into the lab when he heard your and Kiri's voice making him stop in his tracks.

"He really thinks that I would date anyone here? Is he being for real right?" You asked them shocked because you had been in love with Neyetam forever, no one else was on your radar, especially the guys you worked with.

"Does that mean you like him back?" Kiri asked hopefully.

"Always have, always will but I probably blew my chance with you." You said disappointedly as a smile broke out on his face as he walked into the lab.

"Can I talk to her privately please?" He asked his siblings who excused themselves.

"So you really thought I would date anyone I work with? Really? Ney do you not know me at all?' You asked him as he took a seat.

"I know I know it was stupid of me, but I couldn't help it when I would see them flirt with you and you didn't stop them or anything and I'm sorry." He said to you.

"I don't stop them because I'm used to them by now, I just choose not to respond to it and let it go in one ear and out the other. Plus I've kinda had an eye on this really cute Na'vi boy who comes to my lab every day." You said to him making him smile.

"Really?" He asked kinda shyly.

"Really. The only problem is that I don't know if he likes me back or not." You said to him making him lift his head up.

"Well believe me he really does like you." He said wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in between his legs.

"Well is he gonna kiss me or not?" You asked looking up at him and making him smile.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, as his siblings stood outside the lab watching and silently cheering.

[scorpiongrassfield]

Pat Wakes Up 

Start | Prev

They seem less ready to be awake than they were yesterday. Understandable, since you got back kinda late. 

Pat mutters something about feeding the cat as they shuffle out of bed to get themself ready for the day. 

You didn’t know they had one. Pat uses the coffee maker to make themself some coffee, and gets an apple out of a grocery bag that’s sitting on a shelf of the tv stand. They glance over at you, see that you’re awake, and get out a second apple. 

They throw it at you. 

“Eat that,” they say. 

You do as you’re told. 

Pat putters around, consuming their coffee and apple, getting dressed, and doing their hair. They seem to be forgoing makeup today. 

“D’you sleep at all, kid?” they ask. 

You shake your head. “I tried. Didn’t work.” 

Pat sighs and shakes their head. “Once we’re done here you’re gonna see a d-specialist about that,” they say, catching themself before they say ‘doctor’ like that’s going to fool you. 

You don’t argue about it now. 

Instead, you take another bite of your apple. 

Juice fills your mouth without flavor. At least you can feel the texture of it? 

You should try eating next time you visit the Cabin. The tea was sweet there… 

While you’re thinking about eating, you remember something. 

“Hey, Pat?” 

“Hm?” 

“You said ghosts can’t eat, right?” 

“That’s right,” 

“How sure are you about that?” 

“I’ve never seen a ghost eat, and I’ve been doing this for… roughly as long as you’ve been alive. Why?” 

“Because.We saw Theo eat once.”

Pat frowns, hand on one hip. “When?” 

“At the diner.” You leave the ‘duh’ unspoken. As if you’ve seen Theo in a potential eating setting anywhere else. 

“Okay but when at the diner? Was this one of the times I left you two alone?” 

You shake your head. “No, you were there. He took a bite of one of your chips when we first met him.”

Pat rubs tiredly at their face as they consider this. 

“He was probably just pretending to eat to avoid being rude,” Pat concludes. 

That does sound like something Theo might do. But… 

“I definitely saw him eat it though. Not just pretend,” you insist. 

Pat sighs heavily. “Okay, but that’s not possible, so you must have seen wrong.” 

“What if you’re wrong, though? Maybe the ghosts you’ve met just weren’t hungry,” you argue. 

Pat rubs at their face again, then claps their hands together. “Okay, this coffee is not good enough for this conversation. Get ready to go out. Please.” 

You shrug, but do as you’re told, tossing the apple core into the trash and getting your clothes together to get dressed. 

It doesn’t take you very long, though you do have a moment of wondering how to get the lighter out of the drawer and into your pocket without Pat seeing it. 

Part of you thinks you should return it to them. But. It does seem to be good at warning you of danger, so you might need to hold onto it a little longer. 

“Right, let’s go,” Pat says, throwing their purse over their shoulder once they see you’re ready. 

They’re dressed a little less brightly than usual. Black pants and a plain button up shirt. 

You’re dressed about the same as always. Faded black skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie over it. The t-shirt is for a band called “SOS No Signal”, which obviously is unfamiliar to you. 

You wonder if that makes you a poser or not. 

As you ponder this, you follow Pat out and into the car. 

Pat gets into the driver’s seat without a word. They wait for you to get buckled in before they pull out of the parking spot. 

The drive to the breakfast place is dead silent, Pat forgoing music. 

You start to wonder if you did something wrong. 

Pat picks a pancake place for breakfast, and the two of you sit at the table in silence as you wait for the waitress to come by. 

Pat’s default expression is always a little angry looking, something you’ve gotten used to. But now you can’t tell if they’re actually mad or not. Should you ask? Will that make them more mad? 

“You’re fine, kid,” Pat finally says. 

You freeze. Had you said any of that out loud? 

“You looked like you were freaking out. Your expressions are an open book,” they say. 

“Oh.” 

“And if I guess what you’re worried about… No, I’m not mad at you. I’m just in a bad mood because I’ve got a headache, and the more I think about the things I’m required to think about right now, the worse it gets,” they explain. 

The waitress stops by to take your orders, interrupting the conversation. Pat orders a mocha and pancakes with eggs and bacon. You order water and some toast. 

Pat doesn’t even give you a reproachful look about it. 

“What do you mean by ‘required to think about’?” you ask. 

“Well,” they say, stretching out the word. “Someone keeps drawing my attention to things that go against the truth I know of the world, or are otherwise impossible. And if it was just one I’d brush it off. But there’s so much going on that doesn’t add up. Which means I need to figure out how to make it add up,” Pat says. 

“Which things?” you ask. You can maybe guess a few, but… 

“In order of weird to impossible:  I woke up thinking I needed to feed my cat but I’ve never had one, you have memory loss, I have deja vous whenever you aren’t around, you can’t sleep unless you’re doing a soul deep-dive, I can’t dream when I sleep, the only person who has contacted us since we got here is an exorcist, the sun is missing but only sometimes, you took an item out of your fucking soul and gave it to another person like it was nothing, and now you’re saying you’ve seen a ghost eat,” Pat says, listing them all off and getting a little heated as they get to the end. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Something weird  is going on, and I need to know what it is. Because what if we’re in danger?” they say. Their anger has burned out, and now they sound a little scared. 

After a long silence between you filled in by the ambient sounds of the restaurant, they speak again. 

“So don’t think I’m mad at you, kid. I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” they say. They try to crack a reassuring smile, but it doesn’t work. 

“Okay. Sorry.” 

They make a “don’t worry about it” gesture. 

You make a mental note not to ask Pat about the implications of you having known what Theo’s paintings looked like before you ever saw them. They have enough to think about right now. 

The waitress comes by with your food. 

You want to eat it without Pat having to tell you to. As a sort of peace offering. 

Unfortunately it doesn’t work. 

You want to eat the food. But you just can’t make yourself do it. 

“Eat,” Pat says after a few minutes, nudging your plate a little closer to you.

Once they’ve told you to, it gets a lot easier. 

Fucking weird. 

But whatever. 

As you just discovered, the list of weird things going on is very long. This one probably isn’t that important. 

The two of you eat in silence. 

Pat pays the check once you’re done, and the two of you go back to the car. 

“Text Theo to tell him we’re stopping by?” Pat asks as they start the car. 

“Okay.”

Next

[lvrslvt3]

TEMPER | e.laundry

main masterlist | scream masterlist

pairings : ethan landry x reader

summary : reader feels like her boyfriend - ethan - is avoiding her.

warnings : angsty, not feeling loved, established relationship, arguing

notes : this is the very angsty post i’ve really done, so it might be cringe.

"ethan!" i felt myself grow lighter as my boyfriend finally entered the living room, his hair messy and eyes looking tired after returning from the library. he was studying for econ, again, but now he was doing it at the library for a reason unknown to me. i didn't ask; afraid i'd get my feelings hurt by it.

"is he okay?" chad questioned me from the other side of the couch we were laying back on, both of us each having a blanket while we watched a movie as i waited on ethan to come back. i had met chad through ethan but he had slowly became my friend aswell.

i shrugged, still staring at his bedroom door. since he had ignored me i decided to let him have some alone time to cool down before speaking to him. "let's just finish the movie." i decided after a moment.

chad unpaused the tv just as i heard the shower begin running. hopefully that would put ethan in a better mood, or relax him so we could talk about whatever was bothering him.

"it's so cold." chad groaned as he let the blanket drop from himself, folding it quickly and throwing it over the back of the couch. “good luck.” he patted my shoulder as he passed me.

i sighed out, rubbing my eyes. "night." i murmured but chad was already speed walking to his room to avoid the cold. that means i was left with my own thoughts, but i hadn't been able to escape them even as we watched tv.

all i had thought about was ethan and his lack of affection in the past two weeks — avoiding touching my hand, not even looking at me ever. if he was my boyfriend surely he would want to look at me?

he used to be such a doting boyfriend but now he had done a complete 360. even our friends had asked me if things were okay and if we were fighting but i had just said that he was stressed from school. i was tired of defending him but it was like a second nature now.

getting up from the couch i folded the blanket just like chad had before scurrying over to ethan's room. the cold air had already caused goosebumps to form all over my body despite being in all warm clothing.

when i realised how cold it was earlier i stole one of ethan's hoodies, as always, but now all i wanted was to be curled up in his bed and forget that i can feel him slipping away from me. i may aswell try and enjoy our last moments.

i opened and closed the door without any noise. i turned to ethan - hoping he would do something to help me - however, he didn't as much as even look at me. the man stayed glued to his phone.

"hey." i whispered quietly through the dark room in hopes for a reaction. i felt out of place, something that i thought i’d never feel around ethan. he glanced up at me, finally looking at me.

"you and chad done hanging out?" it sounded like venom coming out of his mouth but it only confused me. he knew chad and i were friends and despite him being jealous of me and other guys that never happened with his roommate.

"yeah." i decided to not hear the tone he was using, "i was waiting on you and he was watching a movie so i just joined him...is that okay?" i felt stupid for asking. i didn't need him to decide what i did.

"it just feels like you're hanging out with chad more than me." he finally turned off his phone and sat it down on his nightstand, leaving us with only light from his small lamp.

i scoffed slightly but tried to stay calm. we should be able to talk this through like adults. "i'm sorry if i've made you feel that way, ethan, but i've kind of felt the same way with you...kinda."

i fidgeted with my fingers as i stood by the end of his bed, not comfortable enough to join him just yet. "what do you mean?" he scrunched his nose up to make it clear he had no clue what i was referring to.

his expression towards me made me feel stupid, like i was the one in the wrong when i knew i was definitely not. "i just...i feel like we're pretending to be a couple. i don't know, it's stupid." i tried to brush it off.

he just stared at me as if i was speaking some unknown language at him. nervously, i let out a small chuckle and looked down at the floor, "you make me feel so insecure." i mumbled out after taking a moment to try and regain some bravery.

when i had mentioned an insecurity to him, around when we first got together, he had made sure i never felt that way again with him. he always worshipped me even at my worse so i knew that i could always come to him.

this time he let out a deep audible sigh, visibly frustrated at me. "what are you talking about?" he questioned in an almost bored tone. i could barely look at him, he wasn't the ethan i knew before.

but he didn't persist on my answer. he only continued to stare at me as if i was invisible until i met his eyes. "did you just forget about me or something?" my throat almost broke down halfway through. in the darkness of the room i could feel tears begin to brim my eyes.

he scoffed at me this time. "i gave you everything i had, i'm sorry if that's not good enough for you!" his voice grew louder as we spoke. i knew for a fact chad could hear us through the walls.

"you don't understand, ethan—" i tried to reason but he was already too worked up. "i can never do anything right can i?" he threw his arms out in an agitated state, his eyes narrowing on me.

my mouth opened to try and diffuse the situation but i couldn't. he looked the angriest i had ever seen him, ever. we had argued before but he never made me feel this way — so stupid.

i felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that made me not able to speak fully. "fine, if i'm not enough for you then you'll never see me again, okay?" he yelled out once again, his eyebrows raising mockingly at me,

"eth—"

"just get out!" he got up from his bed, stepping towards me. "get the fuck out, and don't come back!" he continued to yell as i backed up to the door i had just came through.

just as my hand clutched around the door handle i tried one last attempt to salvage our relationship. "please, ethan, it's not what i meant. you know i lo—" before i could respond he began yelling again.

"get out!" i opened the door just as he picked up his lamp, "just fucking get out!" he threw the lamp at the wall beside his bed just as i shut the door behind me.

i stared at the door as another thud came, leaving me in shock as i tried to process what had just happened. "y/n? are you okay?" a new voice entered the situation, causing my mind to become clearer.

i glanced over at chad that was peeking out from his bedroom door. he knew ethan wouldn't hurt me physically which was why he hadn't stormed in as soon as the yelling began.

"um.." i trailed off as i tried to make sense of the situation, "i think ethan just broke up with me." my voice grew quiet as i finally said the dreadful words out loud, everything suddenly becoming more real.

chad didn't say anything else, instead coming over and wrapping his arms around me just as another smash came from inside ethans room. the thud made me finally break.

i felt my lip begin to quiver as i flung myself into chad’s chest, the sobs finally escaping me as he guided me into his room and let me hyperventilate into his shoulder at the fact my relationship had just ended.

i awoke to the feeling of dry eyes and an empty feeling nestled into my chest. i knew where i was as soon as i woke up but it felt like a dream, that last night was only a bad nightmare instead of my reality.

but it wasn't. afterwards i had fallen asleep in chads bed and he had blown up the air mattress and laid on the floor by my side the whole night afraid i would have another panick attack or something.

i was grateful he did, but now i was stuck in ethan's apartment while he hated my guts for an reason i didn’t know. the bedroom door opened and chad slipped in, a small sad smile on his face.

"ethan's in the kitchen pacing," he updated me, "he thought you had went home by yourself last night, was worried sick cause you weren't answering your phone."

"i think my phones somewhere in the living room." i answered with a raspy tone, not sure what my next move was. all i wanted really was to see ethan but i didn't want to argue again.

"he's okay. he came in to wake me up so we could go search for you but saw you here. waited in the kitchen to speak to me but he just left for his room again, i think." chad tapped his fingers against the door he was leaning against.

i nodded in acknowledgment to chads words. "i don't know what to say to him." i confessed to my friend, but he didn't seem to have much advice for me either since he only shrugged at my direction.

"just go and see how things go. if he starts bad mouthing you just leave or scream my name and i'll come deal with him." he walked over and sat beside me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"thanks, chad." i whispered before getting up and stretching. my bones still felt tense as i left his room for my boyfriends, or my ex boyfriends now. i waited by his door for a moment before finally entering.

i closed the door just as he got off of his bed to approach me. though, he stopped a few steps away from me. i just stared at him, he had the same look he used to have when he looked at me — no disgust.

he had the same messy curls, and the same comforting feeling i missed when i was in his presence. "you're still in my clothes." he commented while glancing at my figure.

"i didn't have anything else to wear." i mumbled the lie. i had pyjamas in one of his drawers but i was too scared to go back into his room again. "sorry about sleeping in chads room, i promise nothing happened—"

ethan only shook his head and finally took the last steps to meet me, flinging his arms around my shoulders and holding my body close to his. "i shouldn't have said that, y/n."

i nodded along. "i know." i mumbled but he only continued to shake his head, holding me closer to his chest. "you should be screaming at me right now, i was so cruel to you."

i didn't reply, unsure on what to say, and let him hold me tightly so i could finally find the comfort in his chest that i had been aching for. there was a soft kiss placed on my head before speaking again.

"you don't ever have to pretend. not with me, not ever." he referenced what i had said last night. he pulled away to hold my head softly in his hands to make sure i looked at him as he spoke.

"i love you, every part of you, and i'm a dick for making you feel otherwise. you know that, don't you?" i nodded, unsure on why he wasn't defending himself more.

"i'm so sorry, baby." he leaned in to kiss me and i let it happen, his grip tightening as if i would somehow slip from his grasp. he stopped after a moment to lean his forehead against mine; both of us unable to open our eyes yet.

we knew what had happened last night, and we both knew who was to blame for it, but i didn't want to talk about it anymore. "will you just.....hold me? please." i didn't try to hide my desperation from him.

i didn’t want to hide anything from him anymore, i wanted us to get back to how we used to be. ethan nodded and led me into his bed, covering us with his duvet and letting me tuck myself into his chest. "you shouldn't love me, y/n." he told me while running a hand through my hair.

i didn't answer but instead slipped my hand under his hoodie to gather more of his warmth. i didn’t feel close enough to him despite there not being any room for air between us.

"i don't want anyone else." i answered in a quiet tone. my head was spinning from all the dramatics of the past two days but i was finally grounded as we lay together in peace.

he sighed, disappointed in my answer, almost as if he wanted me to hate him. "next time you feel like that come and tell me, okay? i promise i won't blow up in your face like last night."

i nodded. i didn't want to speak anymore but he continued on. "how did i make you insecure?" he questioned while moving his hand to run up and down my arm.

i shrugged, not sure how to answer him. "you changed," i finally decided after a moment of silence, "i just...i didn't feel loved anymore. you wouldn't even look at me, ethan."

ethan leaned forward to place another gentle kiss on top of my head. "i love you more than life itself, y/n. i'm sorry you thought otherwise," he moved his finger to my chin to make me look up at him.

"but don't think like that again, okay? no matter what we argue about you should always know how deeply inlove i am with you." he spoke sternly, holding me tighter while my eyes fluttered closed.

i nodded, finally feeling what i had been missing.

[crackedpumpkin]

Ohmygod bro good job getting your coffee cause I would’ve barely survived that too!!! Good looking people in general really just be paralyzing people for some reason 😭

Cafe hopping really is fun tho, now that I think about it I have a similar story too with fumbling words. I went to this craft store for the first time and was tryna look for string cause I wanted to make those necklace bottle things, I asked the two people working in English, and since they had a hard time communicating with me they literally ran to another working person then running back to find me in the small shop! I didn’t get string in the end but I got the bottle! Could’ve avoided that if I just spoke my native language- but I didn’t cause adults (the older ones in my family) usually made fun of me for it 😭

The little moments really make the big things!! Both of you, amazing writers, no lie. I’ve been thinking of writing too so is it okay if I ask what the advice was? /nf

Michael gets arc’d! No more chip docking! But genuinely based of you to put that much care into your characters and stories 💖

Yes please I didn’t even know fruit-ade is an actual word- I was just making things up-

i aspire to one day be that pretty.

Please the way I wheezed- fr though, never be afraid to speak your own native language! My second language is Chinese and I am horrible at speaking it under pressure. I even got laughed at by my boss - that's how bad it was lmaooo, but honestly i don't really care. I'm just happy it makes people smile and laugh at it alongside me^^

As for the advice given by blake, it was focusing about the small things that led up to the big moment! This is purely my own interpretation though, but essentially always justify their actions. For example, if i make babes fall for miles outta nowhere then it's a little sudden, right? There's gotta be some form of catalyst that caused it in the first place.

Especially in the situation theyre currently in. Neither are entirely sure what they are yet, besides employer and employee. Before even progressing to being lovers and stuff they gotta form some kinda bond first, right? So the main thing for me was how to justify each step in their relationship.

Aka, is it reasonable for them to warm up to each other by this stage?? Or are they still on rocky terms with each other? It's honestly a fun challenge for me to write, because it gives me a chance to put myself in their shoes more thoroughly.

Even irl, there's gotta be a catalyst to make you fall for someone in the first place, right? Maybe one day you notice their eyes are really nice, or maybe you like the way their laugh sounds. Even before that, it's the little things that they do to make you feel safe in the first place :) relationships dont form overnight, after all~

"i would need to read the full thing through but a good rule of thumb for progression is either feeling it out and reasoning through if their reactions make sense or making it clear that time has passed between chapters and giving it a little suspension of disbelief" - @buthowboutno-spamming

bro, when you start writing please tag me in it!! I would love to read your work, and i know you can do it!! Honestly take it from me - dont take things too seriously. Writing is meant to be fun, not stressful. Like, when blank canvas started out it was just for shits and giggles and goofy and fun. thats what i was aiming for the whole time, and i wanted people who read my fic to hopefully smile or even do the lil nose huff thing we all do when we find something on the internet funny ^^

I'll add on a little advice of my own - feel free to ignore it lolol, but essentially:

I find it really helpful to have some form of plan or outline for your fic. Mine s constantly being adjusted, but it helps so much when you write your chapter and maybe realize oh wait iwanna do this here and do that there, and you know where everything should go like a puzzle piece! Something else I'd say is that there doesnt always have to be drama lmao, sometimes a sweet heartwarming fic is enough. You're enough.

Again, the little moments matter, right? That's why in chapter five i just kinda did a little hangout session :)

And omg when i say i am thrilled to write michael's character arc fr. an eureka moment hit me outta nowhere and immediately i RAN to tell @theblindhag because she has been honestly nothig but supportive and an absolutely lovely human bean. Which also kinda reminds me: having a good friend listen to all the crazy ideas in your head is so amazing fr, and i hope you have/will find that friend. Honestly, feel free to send in asks whenever - id be more than happy to have a chat or chill out!

I'll make a post on the fruitade soon, its like 1am where i am rn lmao. keep your eyes peeled for it anon!! it's the actual easiest to make, trust.

As a little bonus extra, allow me to share a little moment from upcoming chapters :)

[softpine]

aw thank you!! i just gave them one outfit with cc, since it’s the outfit they wear the most often and i don’t want to overload my gameplay save with cc. i have a whole separate mods folder and everything to keep myself in check lol

whenever i get the chance to retcon things and call this time period the 2000s, i take the opportunity 😌 even if it’s just gameplay

we have the same eye color for sure and i can see the nose too! i wish i had his teeth tho 😭 the only picture i have of myself from this angle is when i was drunk off my ass FJSJDKSJ enjoy this cursed image

@maturation​ hmmm not really :( i wrote some tips here for making teenagers look like teenagers, but it’s even harder to make them look like preteens 😭 i think the only time i pulled it off was with casper, and that was really just because he has a baby face without trying. i didn’t even try with asa because he’s so big, i just did a time skip to avoid the whole thing. i’m sorry i can’t help more!! it’s such a huge limitation of the sims :/

hey! i thought i had removed everything by pandasama, but there was actually a file called “animation_injector_changingtable” in my mods folder that was causing problems. delete it, then delete localthumbcache, then reload the game to see if it worked :) otherwise my other problem was an outdated TOOL mod, i thought i updated it but i actually downloaded an old version! (btw, pandasama’s other stuff works fine now, i put it all back after i finished testing. just make sure to update the childbirth mod if you have that)

@moresimming​ omg thank you so much 🥺 not to sound morbid, but making people cry because of my story is the biggest compliment fjksjds media that makes me cry is genuinely my favorite thing, so hearing that i can do the same thing for someone else is awesome. i’m so happy you’re enjoying it!! thank you ;-; 💖💖

yes it’s a main blog!! i would 1000000% recommend creating a new account for your simblr! it’s huuuge for visibility. it would be really hard for people to follow you back if your main blog is the one whose url is showing up; most people won’t go to the effort of clicking on your blog to find out if you have a simblr somewhere else. i created a separate email so that i could keep my personal blog as my main blog, but still have a new account for simblr :) also if you use firefox (which everyone should tbh), you can use the containers extension so that you don’t have to log in and out of your accounts all the time, you can just open them in two tabs!

↓ GHOST STUFF BELOW, trigger warnings apply ↓

right??? that’s the first question i wanted to ask, but honestly i don’t know if i want the answer fjksjds i’ll just choose to believe that ghosts know the concept of privacy 😌

okay it's kinda funny you said this because... well i don't want to give too much detail but i used to live between a historic cemetery, an honest to god abandoned psychiatric facility, and a building that's known to be one of the most haunted places in the state. but i still never felt or saw ANY ghosts. that's why i didn't believe for so long, because how can i be in the freaking bermuda triangle of ghost activity and never see one?? i'm still mad about it lmao, whether i believe in them or not, i've always wanted to see a ghost so bad. especially if they're just lonely! come to me and we can chill lol

oh wow yeah it’s always freaky when people who don’t seem like the type to believe in this kind of stuff tell you stories like this; it adds a new layer of credibility if you can eliminate all other options. like when people are grieving their loved ones, it’s normal to see/hear/smell them everywhere, and when you’re living in that fog of grief, you can mistake a lot of things for ghost activity that are actually just a result of you looking for patterns to make sense of it all. and i still think this is the case most of the time. i remember when my grandma died, my mom was understandably a complete mess, and she was always misplacing things in that time. but to this day, she still claims it was my grandma who was moving her water bottle, turning the stove on, etc. i’m still (and always will be) a very science minded person, so i’m always going to look at the other explanations first. sorry that was a tangent lmao but my point is, it’s always weird when someone down to earth says stuff like this. that would be so sad, but at least he was able to comfort them a little bit :( what an awful way to go :(

[princesseevee06]

How're the dummies in the Your Turn Ryoko AU?? 🫣

how are the dummies? not doing too great. courtesy of the uh, whole “dying and being brought back as dolls” thing

okok but in all seriousness, i assume you are asking who takes the role of each dummy in ytr! tbh, i haven’t focused as much on the dummies because i’ve been busy fleshing out the main cast (and especially because the dummies just canonly play smaller roles), so i’m gonna format this a little differently from the main cast/floormaster posts, and have smaller tidbits on each swap ;; i hope that’s okay!

as a general assessment, though: the chap 3 subgame remains relatively the same in premise, with one dummy being paired with each survivor. i wanted to take a little bit of a different approach for the pairings, though, and so depending on the “route” (yes i did incorporate branching paths into ytr as well) different characters are paired with each other.

but, as for the actual swaps…

Anzu Kinashi > Ranmaru Kageyama

Q-taro Burgerberg > Anzu Kinashi

Alice Yabusame > Naomichi Kurumada

Reko Yabusame > Shunsuke Hayasaka

Gin Ibushi > Mai Tsurugi

Keiji Shinogi > Hinako Mishuku

now for some tidbits!!!

- i’m aware anzu is already a dummy in canon, but i wanted her to take ranmaru’s spot so she could be paired with ryoko because. girls (this is literally just how i decide things for my au) (i think “huh this would be neat” and make it a reality)

- and yes depending on the route she does try to, and succeeds at, killing somebody (i’m sorry ❤️). i wanted to try and make it a bit more sympathetic than with logic ranmaru though, and show that she really agonizes over it but ultimately her survival instinct wins out (i always thought it was interesting how anzu says things like “this is why we can’t possibly work with you guys!” when she’s scared etc. and so i kinda wanted to play on her fear pushing her into doing things she regrets)

- with keiji i wanted to go with the idea that, yes he is human, but he isn’t an entirely different person pretending to be a dummy like fake hinako was, he’s a human survivor blending in with the dummies (i’m not entirely sure how this would work since that means he’d have to had somehow avoided the main games. but i’m attached to this idea so i wanna make it work somehow). so my idea is while he does work with asunaro in this au, it’s more of a “malicious compliance” type thing where he acts as a double agent and is actually on the side of the participants. if that makes any sense…

reko, alice, q-taro and gin don’t have as many changes to their personalities/circumstances here so i have less to say about them but there are still some things! for example:

- alice never “killed” sou here, so he never went to jail. that also means him and reko have a more stable relationship here, and theyre actually still in a band together :) they also act a bit different since they didn’t have to cope with the trauma of alice’s murder case, so more similar to the “ai personalities” (which makes sense i guess, since they are ai here!)

- q-taro and gin act pretty much the same. or i guess, the same as their yttd chapter 1 selves. rest assured that even though gin takes mai’s role here, he does not try to attack anyone (even though it would be really funny). q-taro, on the other hand, i can’t say the same for…

this still ended up being a little long even though i said these would be tidbits…oopsie. well, have an anzu doodle while you’re here!

[moon-spirit-yue]

Because I’ve been loving making ratld characters bitter, I want to do a lil post with Benja. I find it super unrealistic in fics when he was always so calm and forgiving towards everything and everyone. Like his daughter who he clearly loves more than life itself has been on her own for years and he’s just okay with it? All that missed time? Nah, that’s his dewdrop. He may still believe in Kumandra but he won’t forget his daughters suffering at the drop of a hat. But again way too lazy to make the actual fic so we get this:

Virana, walking up to Benja: might I have a word with you, Chief Benja?

Benja, internally cringing: of course

Virana, once they’re alone: I wanted to say my most sincere apologies for how everything ended up six years ago

Benja, trying really hard not to say anything rude: eheheh. Right

Virana, pursing her lips: it was never my intention for you to have gotten shot or for Raya to-

Benja, shaking his head: I’m sorry, I thought I get through this speech of yours without feeling the urge to vomit, but I can’t. I’ll be frank, I have no interest in hearing whatever half assed apology you cooked up for me

Virana, frowning: oh, so now that you’ve actually faced some hardship you no longer have any interest in communicating with other people? Now you know how the rest of the world feels

Benja, in shock: wow, that’s crazy! But hey, look at us! We’re talking about our feelings instead of resorting to theft and attacking kids! How cool is that?!

Virana, scowling: don’t act like a child! You know things were never that simple six years ago!

Benja, throwing his hands up in exasperation: but they could have been! All of this could have been avoided, all I wanted was to talk! That’s it! Instead, I was shot in the leg and had to throw my own child out to sea!

Virana: as if you have no blame in what happened!

Benja, rolling his eyes: alright, sure, I’m not too proud to admit that I never really paid much thought to the rest of the lands until Raya was born. My reasons for wanting to reunite Kumandra were rather selfish because I was only thinking of my own daughter. I should have cared about the other four lands years before Raya came into the picture. My ancestors should have cared

Virana, huffing: wonderful, you can point out the obvious

Benja, glaring: but I can’t help with problems I know nothing about! If any of the other lands, including Fang, had reached out and asked for help, at no point in my reign as Chief would I have denied that

Virana, shaking her head: Fang people are much too prideful. Asking for help is a sign of weakness and with our vulnerability we could not afford to appear soft in the slightest. We were in what felt like a constant famine, we didn’t have the strength to defend ourselves

Benja, frowning: your pride ruined you. It made you use your own child as a pawn to get to the gem! I mean a child?! She was twelve!

Virana, pissed: and I hated every minute of it! I found no joy in putting Namaari in that position, but it was for our people!

Benja, enraged: I can’t stand this conversation anymore, I’m heading back out. But before I do that, since we’re on the subject of Namaari, keep her away from Raya

Virana, laughing sarcastically: I can’t believe you just said that. You want me to make sure my daughter stays away from yours? You’re insane! We have no control over who our children choose to spend their time with. But if it’s any consolation, I doubt I’ll need to do much since Raya looks like she wants to murder Namaari every time she walks in a room!

Benja, eye twitching: I think I understand you here. So Namaari can raise a crossbow to Raya’s chest under your orders, but it kinda freaks you out when Raya is displeased to be near Namaari? Got it. Well, sorry for wanting the girl that terrorized my child for months to be at a distance. Guess I’ve really lost my mind!

Virana, rubbing her forehead: that is not what I-

Benja, stomping off: look, I’m going to go back out there and pretend nothing’s wrong and I suggest you do the same. I will always be here to discuss matters of strengthening Fang and Heart’s relations, but other than that, stay away from my family. We would like some peace in our lives from now on *leaves*

Virana: maybe the gift basket was a better idea-

(Obviously I believe in Virana and Benja bestie rights but they had some ways to go before they could reach their true potential. Also keep in mind Benja isn’t really that mad at Namaari because he knew she was just a child trying to get the approval of her mother. But he still feels some resentment towards her for what she did to Raya. Mkay the bitterness ends for now)

[mimisempai]

Dear Loki - Chapter 2/7

Summary:

Loki, bored while waiting for Mobius in his office, starts to explore the drawers of his lover’s desk and finds a bunch of letters addressed to him...

On AO3 Rating G

Dear Loki,

I guess I should have known better, you're a trickster first and foremost, so it was sure you would want to fool us. To fool me. Even if I had the slightest hope that... but no, I realized that it was still too early for you to know that you could trust me.

I wouldn't say it didn't hurt, but I understand.

Ravonna and the others didn't catch on and only saw you responding to your nature. But I know it was a way for you to regain control.

I am untying my tie now and I must say that you almost had me at the elevator.

Loki smiled at the memory of that moment.

"I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I’m ten steps ahead of you. I’ve been playing a game of my own all along."

"What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? Am I getting warm? A double cross by history’s most reliable liar."

How irritated he had been to see that once again Mobius had read him like an open book. But what had probably pissed him off the most was to see that it didn't seem to affect Mobius. 

And above all what had destabilized him for a long time was that whatever he had done, the man had never stopped showing him respect, had never turned his back on him. 

Damn it! Mobius had gone so far as to plead his case with Ravonna.

"Okay. Why are you in there sticking your neck out for me?"

"I’ll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want."

"A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold.

And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt."

"Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I’ll tell you whatever I need to tell you."

Loki resumed his reading of the letter.

You asked me why I was sticking my neck out for you?

Well, I did answer you, but a little dishonestly I must admit. Because A and B were just part of a big answer that I wasn't ready to tell you yet.

I want to save you because I know you are able to make good and great things. But you are not ready to hear it yet. And your attempt to fool me is proof of that.

And your answer confirmed it to me.

Loki remembered that he had been stung by being called a scared little boy but also by being exposed in this way. He didn't want pity or compassion. And he had told Mobius so.

"I don’t need your sympathy."

"Good, ’cause I’m runnin’ out of it."

How angry he had been to find himself doing the work of lowly people. But perhaps it had been the first time in a long time that he didn't have to flail around, so he'd grown into it. 

Loki remembered with a kind of happiness those moments when he had begun to believe that things could be different.

He laughed as he read the next part of Mobius' letter.

I can't believe that in just a few moments you were able to turn everything upside down so much. Okay, okay let's be honest I believe it because it's you. But this time it's not you against the world, it's you and me for the right cause. At least I think so. 

I have a weird feeling about this.

But then again I avoid showing it since as you said yourself, I make even the end of the world sound boring. 

I guess someone like me must be perfectly boring indeed. 

Loki remembered with sharpness these words pronounced in Pompei.

"Oh, Mobius! You make even the end of the world sound boring."

In his enthusiasm, he had probably been hurtful. But he hoped that in time Mobius would know that Loki found him anything but annoying. In fact, Mobius was probably the person who surprised him most in the universe. 

Loki also knew that assuming that people knew certain things made you forget to tell them. Maybe he should reaffirm to Mobius in a clear way that he did not find him boring. Not at all.

I am taking this letter back as you are asleep in front of me on a pile of files. You look so peaceful that I don't want to wake you up. If it were up to me I wouldn't wake you up. But unfortunately time is short.

Loki also remembered this vividly, after all that he had been through, he had tasted a few minutes of rest. He had fallen asleep with the awareness of Mobius' presence, but without feeling threatened by it for a single second. In fact there was something about this man that made Loki instinctively trust him. He had told him that he knew almost everything about his life after all, and yet he still treated him with respect. Perhaps it was this that made Loki prompt to trust him.

That's great, I never thought you would be interested in my passion. I feel like I got carried away with telling you about jet skiing. Then you pointed out how much fun it would be to actually do it. But unfortunately I know the reality of my life and that it can only be a dream.

Even though they had since fulfilled Mobius' dream, Loki had not forgotten Mobius' expression at the mention of jet skiing for real. There had been a melancholy written all over his being and Loki wondered how much Mobius had deprived himself of for the sake of his mission within the TVA. 

He made a promise to himself to do his best to discover and realize all the dreams of his beloved.

Now that I'm resuming writing this letter you're gone. You preferred to follow this variant rather than wait for me.

But I thought that maybe...

I thought I had read something just before in the archives when you found the place where the variant was...

Loki remembered exactly which moment he was mentioning.

"You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful."

Mobius had looked at him with such validation in his eyes. The kind of approval he had always craved. The kind he would have liked to read in the eyes of Odin, his mother, his brother, without the glimmer of disappointment that often followed.

Loki remembered very clearly the pride he had felt at that moment.

Then there had been Roxxcart.

Loki had been touched by the way Mobius did not want to be separated from him. He had been lucid enough to recognize in the midst of the indignation and anger, the desire to protect him.

But Loki had shattered everything soon after, or so he thought when it happened.

Probably one of the most difficult decisions Loki had to make.

As he had walked through the time door, he had been unable to stop himself from looking back at Mobius who was running and calling his name, but Loki had to know. He couldn't help it. And he had walked through.

You left.

You turned around and left.

Did you even feel regret when you saw me running towards you?

Was everything I felt in the last few hours just smoke and mirrors?

Did you respect and trust me?

I am 

How could you

You 

Why

No, I can't believe that it was all fake, that it was all tricks from the god of mischief. 

I'll keep believing, until I find you and you tell me the truth.

I will wait.

I will find you and I will know.

Still with hope.

Mobius.

Loki folded the letter and placed it carefully back in the drawer.

Even so, Mobius had given him the benefit of the doubt.

There was something humbling about being the object of such devotion.

He couldn't wait for Mobius to come back to show him all the love his heart was filled with after reading this letter.

He looked at the time that had passed.

Thirty minutes at most.

He grabbed the next letter.

Dear Loki... Other chapters here

[fakeloveaskblog]

(Hi, me again. With an ask for someone other than Virgil for a change.)

Hi Remy, I’m sure Remus would love to hang out with you. Maybe you could help reassure him by telling him where your going, or if you aren’t sure which one to go to you could ask him which one he’d prefer.

You could invite Janus too if you want, me personally I prefer to spend time with people one on one, as it means I can put all my focus onto them, but everyone’s different so if you think you’d get more from the experience with Janus there then you should invite them. Alternatively if you decided not to, you could plan to meet up with him at a different point in time.

Also about the drugs. I’ve never struggled with addiction so I’m not going to pretend to know what it’s like, but if you feel like have to get high then let me know and I’ll get you some drugs and stay with you until they leave your system. I’d prefer if you didn’t take them but if you feel like you have to then I’d rather you took them in a safe environment, rather than getting them from someone in a dark alleyway all alone.

Well I think that just about covers the advice section of my visit, I also wanted to check in with you and Remus to see how you’re both doing, also when you are ready to go home I can teleport both of you and the car safely back, to avoid you getting in a car wreck, you are many amazing things Remy but a good driver isn’t one of them.

Glow Eyes 

Remy had laid their head down against the 7/11 table and closed their eyes to fight back a headache. They didn't look at you when they heard you, they just patted the table with their hand until they felt you and gave you a headpat.

"Yeah I'll defff ask him beforehand don't worry" They assured.

You continued on with your message, to the part about Janus. Remy partially opened one of their eyes and glanced at you. Their eye had turned a dull red but there was a glimpse of energy in them.

"Girl! I got it! Thanks! Okay so listen! Now- If Remus wants to- I can take him to the art park and then I can take Jannie to the bar on like the weekend? Since they're more okay with like loud music and drinking and all that. That's a good idea right? Yeah! Super good!!"

They just as quickly closed their eyes again as soon they heard the start of your next sentence. A shudder went up their back as they laid their arms over their head and looked away. If they had a choice in it they would rather not listen to you berate them for falling back into addiction.

But you didn't. You came with your suggestion and then your eyes glowed a warm orange while you waited for Remy's response.

It took a bit before your words had fully set in for them. They still expected Virgil's harsh words most times. Their hand reached out and lightly touched one of the outer corners of your fuzzy body.

"I'd- I'd really like that yeah. The uh the whole like giving me so I so I'm like not hurting myself too much I guess. Thanks. I really- I feel like really stupid for like acting like this. For like letting myself like relapse and I well I guess I had just kinda assumed everyone else thought I was stupid and shameful and useless and-  You get the point. for like relapsing. I didn't wanna ask anyone for like help 'cause I'd thought....I'd thought.....Bad things....."

"Bad things?" Remus asked. He was holding a plastic bag with the 7/11 logo on it while looking between you and Remy "Like murder? Bad things like assassinations! Gorey fuck fests!?"

"Just chatting" Remy replied.

"OH! Here" He held out his hand which wasn't busy with the plastic bag, it was instead busy with holding a coffee cup "Got you BEANS!!"

"BEANS!!!!" They added a thanks as they took the coffee.

"I also got uhh" He looked into the bag "4 different sandwiches 'cause I couldn't choose, sour candies and a funny looking stapler!"

"Ah girlie perfect! Only the most valuable things!"

Remus sat down on the chair next to them and started to chomp down on one of the sandwiches. He pretended he was piranha ripping apart fresh meat.

He noticed that Remy was trying to pretend like they weren't looking at him which only made it super obvious that they were looking at him. Remus let up into a slightly flustered chuckle. With bread still between his teeth he tilted his head to the side and asked.

"My birthday isn't for another few months you know that right?" He continued to laugh while glancing between the two of you "It just seemed like you were planning a surprise- A SURPRISE EXECUTION???? that would be a GREAT birthday present!!"

"Well....I saw a poster for this like thing and I was just wondering if you would wa-"

"Are you sure it's not a secret execution. Like reeeeeaaallly sure"

"Girl maybe. It's uh like that" 

They pointed at the poster on the clipboard and Remus immediately leaned over to read it. He let out a gasp so loud it made Remy jump as his arms started to happy flap.

"IT SAYS AN ARTWORK BY MARINA ABRAMOVIC IS THERE!! MARINA!!! ABRAMOVIC!!!"

"I don't know who that is"

Remus patted their shoulders excitedly "WE HAVE TO GO!!!" He squeezed their foreheads together while hugging them "AAAAHH GREAT IDEA!!! GREAT!! GREAT!! Tomorrow okay? Yeah!!! Tomorrow we'll go!!!"

Remy shone up into a warm smile while huggin him "I'm like toooots glad you're glad"

You chimed in with your last suggestion to which Remus quickly nodded "TELEPORTATION!!! HOLY SHIT YES!! Take us right now please and thank you!"

All it took was him blinking for even a second and when his eyes opened again he was sat on the couch in his apartment. The grocery bag was on the coffee table and his arms were still tangled around his crush.

They both quickly moved away while mumbling out awkward small talk. Remus started chomping down on another sandwich.

"You said you didn't know who Marina is?"

Remy tensed and glanced away while nodding. They braced for an insult. That they were stupid or only interested in idiotic things or-

"Yeah I only like know her 'cause my art class had a single lesson about performance art. I don't think the majority of people even know her, don't worry. But I've seen documentaries and stuff about her!!! I really like her style!! Wanna wat- Hmm...maybe it's better if I describe the art first. Some of it's a bit graphic so pictures and like videos can come later if you're up for it" He rubbed his hands together while letting out his villain laugh "Hehehehehehe infodump time???"

Remy leant back against the couch and got themself comfortable to listen to him rant for hours if he wanted to. They took another sip from their coffee before replying "Infodump time"