#i’ve never even written for hannibal not because i don’t want to but because there’s so much to unpack there

[grahamcore]

went over a year without writing and the thing that brings me back is the saw franchise i am so humiliated

[terr1ble-lie]

Why Hannibal is amazing as a villian.

(Half of my phone screen isn’t working and I’m on vacation so no funky fonts, mb gang)

———————————————————————

I’ve always adored the Hannibal movies and books and loved Hannibal as a villian. And just pondering now I realise a big factor of that is because he’s a male killer who isn’t driven by insecurity or the need to prove something. His motives and emotions while doing what he does (OM NOM NOM) is left unknown and he isn’t freaking out over it, he isn’t sorry, he’s not doing it to prove anything or because he can’t talk to women (which is so common with male killers in both fiction and real life) but just because he has a taste for it. It’s simply but his philosophy is so complex and is in fact a philosophy. Is not pretending to be some complex psychological thing that’s JUST trauma, it’s HIM.

I’m ignoring Hannibal rising in this because that book was a product of blackmail basically and I’ve never liked it or what it did to Hannibal character (for those who dk basically the rights holder and director of the movies was like “write the book or we get someone else to do it” cause they wanted another movie. It was written in less than a year and I doubt it was ever Harris’ intention to make his backstory known.) so I tend to ignore it!!

I’m also ignoring the series, even if I have seen it zillions of times, because again I do not like what it does the Hannibal’s or anyone’s character. It’s very much made for a TV audience and it’s just fucked I’m so many levels. I will probably do an entirely separate post on why I don’t like the series. Though if you like it that’s fine!

So yeah. Slay Hannibal fans (this will be edited on my laptop when I’m home and have better WiFi cause the format is shit, the lack of bold text is shit and the fact my WiFi isn’t good enough so I can’t add gifs is shit too.)

[vexingwoman]

I’m loving hearing everyone’s thoughts on whump. Many such cases of ostensibly straight or bisexual women consuming nothing but torture porn (with a tasteful side of woobie coddling or “caretaking”) for gay male pairings almost exclusively. Extreme rambling below because I’ve been thinking about this forever and I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it in a meaningful way.

The non-sexual elements of whump are actually even more interesting to me, especially since even that is still reserved for gay male characters (or straight male characters being written as gay for fic). The whole caretaking part, the way so many whump writers often deride canon material for failing to properly explore the sort of pain they think their fandom faves ought to feel (more accurately: exhibit). Many whump fics are non-sexual but the voyeuristic attention to the suffering of its gay male protagonists feels sexual, in a fetishistic way. There is no similar equivalent to people paying this much precious, mawkish attention to the traumas experienced by female characters. Even if it mirrors or exceeds the actual amount of canon emotional catharsis experienced by their male counterparts.

And I really don’t think these women are a 1:1 equivalent to men who can only get off watching extremely violent porn about women. I don’t even think it comes close to the level of harm those men cause. But I would like to ask the people who consume and produce this content: Why is it only ever about gay men? Why is suffering, crying, rape, terminal illness, torture, etc. such a heavy erotic fixation for them?

And unfortunately I cannot picture any response that isn’t either 1) pornsick or 2) violently defensive.

Very eloquently said. In my experience, aside from admitting that it’s a fetish or misogynistically claiming that male characters are more complex and easier to empathize with, the most common answer I’ve received to the question of why this community focuses almost exclusively on male characters is that it’s an “unexpected and intriguing reversal of gendered expectations.” And while this may be true for some, I’m not convinced this is the main reason.

Because obviously, having a female character abuse and torture the male character would also constitute as an unexpected reversal of gendered expectations, but this community isn’t fascinated by that. Both the character executing the abuse, and the character receiving the abuse, are virtually always male—and the character who plays the role of the caretaker, of course. Coincidentally, I just ran into some stats which really emphasize the point, not that they were needed:

Also, have you noticed a strange upsurge in ridiculously abusive and shockingly violent homo-erotic media? I’m referring to stories like Killing Stalking or Hannibal here. Of course, these kinds of stories have always existed, but I feel like the fascination in them has recently spiked. I recall that even ten years ago the most popular media on gay male relationships was mawkishly adorable—what some would call “fluffy.”

You have to wonder how much of a role that plays in all this. I know for many girls, these vicious homo-erotic stories were their first real exposure to whump content. Maybe they prefer gay male whump content because it’s all they know? But again, that seems too convenient an answer.

In conclusion, I think this is just a mixture of fetishization and internalized misogyny, as I’ve said. In another post, I’ll go further into why I think it’s actually false to argue that male characters are more complexly written and easier to empathize with, and how the real culprit is not the writing, but gendered stereotyping and unconscious misogyny.

If anyone wants to chime in and give their perspective on this, please do.

[cannibal-nightmares]

For the ask thing: 1, 11, 27, 30 😁

from the ask thing heh

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? Music, Doctor Who, and… The third seems to have stumped me. My sister (whom I havent seen in 17 years?) a crippling fear of a higher power? Growing up poor? Of course stories of trauma would be easy and true to answer with, but I’ve sat on this ask since you sent it and I am not certain what I could place as a definitive third. I could answer with names of my friends, but we shaped each other, didn’t we?

11. what do you consider to be romance? I’m not 100% sure I can observe romance in a traditional sense. I like this question because I don’t know how to answer it. I guess I can start by specifying that “romance” is between partners, right? I’m not sure if “romance” is supposed to be an act, but that’s how it feels to me. While I don’t prefer it, I don’t see “acting” for someone else as an inherently bad thing in this context. I mean, isn’t that what birds do? Court? Hahah uhh.. I think romance is loyalty. Romance is testing boundaries with someone, and not even necessarily in the intimate sense, but facing fears in hand with someone. I have a sort of Hannibal-esque lens over what picturesque image “romance” could be, something much more brutal and shimmering like onyx under the moon. Romance is whatever you mutually declare it with someone else. Romance is what you create with intention and expectation. Romance is blood, isn’t it?

Now, “what is love?” Acts of care. But “love” to me is not exclusive between partners, but towards friends and strangers, as well.

27. any nicknames? “My first name is a random set of numbers and letters and other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole to a sussurus, couldn't just be “John Doe” or “Bingo” My address, a made up language written out in living glyphs lifted from demonic literature and religious text Telephone, uncovered by purveyors of the Ouija, then checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti My social, a sudoku; my age is obscure; my 'in-case-of-emergency' is in the daisies chasing birds My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo: Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow” [ x ]

Nah, haha, I see what you’re doing here, heh. As an artist, cannibal. As a familiar, Rocky. Something more formal, Will. If you want to flatter me and fluster me beyond words… kin names… I’m picky in stupid-specific ways about them, so I don’t talk about them. (Stein, Franken, Vitya… sometimes Nic calls me Smokey and doc hahaha.. my goodness..) I’m in total denial of having a “preferred” name. I do have one but it’s kept guarded for now. I sincerely wish “who are you” and “what is your name” was as simple of a question as it is for everyone else, but it just isn’t. I’ve gone by all kinds of names for too-practical reasons; anyone who knows me by any other title has special reserve to call me by those names. I go by Rocky at work and in my musical shenanigans and I think it fits me as though I were a cartoon character. It's actually the name of my late grandfathers dog.

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier? These days I am having to decrypt the difference between happiness and mania but I can tell you what makes me content and what I value in feeling safe/calm:

A hot cup of coffee, silence/summer ambiance, natural lighting. Stuffed animals.

I guess something that makes me “happy” is being in costume. I love a good costume time, especially when I get to make other people happy w said costumes (its part of the reason I started fursuiting back in 2013). Singing, I suppose, too. When I seek joy, I either look to finishing a project or enriching someone else.

Thank you for the ask, sincerely ^^

[k-s-morgan]

Hello! I made a Tumblr account just so that I can tell you how amazing your writing is and how awesome you are! I watched Hannibal just so I could read more of your stories - the way that you keep shifting the power dynamics and building up these obsessive relationships creates some of the most intense and best stories that I have ever read. Do you ever think of writing a story with original characters that you might try publishing? (I would definitely buy and read it!)

Also, thank you so much for the personal updates that you do about yourself and Ukraine. I am so sorry for everything you and your country has been experiencing with Russia. I think you are remarkable with your communications and how much good you are putting out in the world despite the horror you and your country are being put through. I wish you and your loved ones all the best. Thank you for everything you do!

Hello! Oh wow, I really appreciate it! It's so flattering that you decided to watch the entire show just to read my fics, and I'm happy that you enjoyed them! I love obsessive characters, and I love obsessive, dark relationships between them even more. If you're interested, I have a Hannigram AU one-shot here that I didn't post to AO3.

As for original novels, I actually have three published romance stories, but I wrote them when I was like 17, and two of them are M/F. I don’t talk about them often because my style has evolved over the years, and the ideas and execution in them are probably problematic - and not in a good way!

My first book was Until Hell Freezes Over. It’s a semi-dark Gothic M/F romance with a twist that takes it from a more ordinary genre to a somewhat supernatural one. Ironically, I got most attached to my gay dark secondary character who’s in unrequited love with the main character. I just couldn’t get into M/F to the extent I wanted. I love this story in a way, it's my baby, and it has an interesting way of character development, but I wrote it because I naively hoped to gain more attention in the M/F market, not because I was really inspired. And both protagonists are not the best people in shallow and grounded ways.

My second book was Layers of Freesia. It’s a short and far less serious M/F romance. Basically, they met, they fought, they made up, all in 100 or so pages. I love my female character there - some readers mentioned she’s autistic, and while I didn’t think of it when I was writing, I believe it fits. She holds a special place in my heart.

My third book was All Roads Lead to Hades. It’s a short M/M obsession-based novel. Some readers mentioned it’s rushed, and it might be so because I was excited to be finally writing in the genre I wanted and I had a specific deadline by which I needed it to be done) I’ve never re-read it and didn’t have the heart to edit it. 

I have 200 pages of another dark M/M romance written, and I do intend to finish and publish it at some late date. Here’s the synopsis I wrote back in 2016.

There were times when the Lettvin-Nostrand Empire was one of strongest, full of pureblood nobility who possessed powerful magic and feared no one. But seduced by the promises of more freedom from a neighboring Empire, the society split up, unleashing war that had been ravaging their own territory until Emperor Glacirien had enough.

Ruthless and cruel, Glacirien is feared by his enemies and his own people alike because the abilities he possesses are like no others. He puts an end to the war and keeps ruling over his burned Empire, not letting it heal, condemning people to suffer and die from starvation and diseases for their betrayal. When he visits one of the dying villages, he meets a golden-haired young man who evokes feelings in him Glacirien never expected to experience.

Caelus is warm. Caelus embodies the light and the brightness remaining in this world, and Glacirien is growing obsessed with him.

Caught in a dangerous web of political intrigues, betrayals, love, and his own dark nature, he has to tread carefully in order to preserve the remains of his country… for however weak Caelus’ magic is, in the end, he might be the person destined to destroy Glacirien’s Empire for

I have a prologue for it posted here.

Last year, I published a small book with short war-related stories. It felt healing to write it.

Also, thank you so much for your kind words about my country, me, and my people! It really means a lot. I still cannot believe this is our life now... Even sleeping a night properly, with no attacks and alarms, is a blessing. It should never be this way for anyone, but unfortunately, I doubt the guilty Russians will ever learn.

[milfmacbeth]

Hi! Your top 5 best and top 5 worst endings of anything that you liked? Could be TV shows, books, movies, podcasts. Thanks!

hi!! thank you for the ask <3

i generally prefer tragic or bittersweet endings over unambiguously happy ones; this will be long; spoilers ahead (obviously)

best endings

hannibal

the wrath of the lamb fucking rearranged my brain chemistry. how do i explain to people that one of the most romantic things i’ve ever seen was a murder-suicide?

technically hannibal was canceled and not ended but in absence of a season 4, i will consider twotl the ending. i don’t even want a season 4 because i can’t imagine any better ending than the one we’ve got. yes, season 3b was a rushed mess of hannibal, will, and dolarhyde playing fuck marry kill with each other, but they stuck the landing so well, and it’s this perfect tragic mix of “this could’ve all been avoided” and “there’s no other way this could’ve ended”.

and yeah the ending is ambiguous and it’s implied they lived but my favorite interpretation is that they died in each other’s arms.

black sails

wars have been fought over the interpretation of this ending. i personally think john silver is lying but whatever your take, jack’s “a story is true, a story is untrue” speech is brilliant and it’s a perfect ending to a great show

fleabag

“i love you” “it’ll pass” I AM NORMAL. 

i love you, female characters written by women. i love you, comedy that turns into tragedy halfway through. i love you, clever use of narrative devices.

this show is damn near perfect, and even though the first thing i did after finishing fleabag was go on ao3 in search of thousands of words of fix-it fic, i wouldn’t change a thing about the ending. 

white fang

i wouldn’t say i have a favorite book, but if i had to answer that question it would either be the iliad or white fang. this is the book that got me into reading.

this book caught me at exactly the right time in my life. i was obsessed with wolves as a kid; i was 11 or so, and my grandma handed me this beautifully illustrated book that had the most amazing old book smell (because it’s been in a wooden attic up until then).

it’s about the life of a wolfdog (more wolf than dog) that was born in the wild but gets tamed/adopted into a dog pack that hates him because they can smell he’s not really a dog and hooo boy does something is wrong with you and others can tell that you’re not like them hit when you’re a lonely child.

anywayyyyyy it ends with white fang, having been adopted by a kind man, lying in the sun, still a little confused/out of his element but content. the ending is bittersweet and thematically fitting and he’s a good dog and deserves it.

the mechanisms

the mechanisms are a band of immortal space pirates telling stories of their adventures. their last album is titled death to the mechanisms and in the eponymous song , they realize they’re not quite as immortal as they thought they were. it’s sad, it’s funny, it’s beautiful, it’s poetic, and it’s a worthy send-off.

if you’ve got six and a half minutes, it’s worth a listen (even without context), if only for gems like “witnesses will say that they have never before seen someone so viciously excited to die” or “his body will float there forever, far beyond the warmth of stars” or “pointless, ignoble deaths the lot of them. but who that lived can really boast otherwise?” (this band is so quotable it's insane)

onto the hating!

worst endings

dexter

what the absolute FUCK was that. i adore this show but the ending sucks so much it feels almost malicious

supernatural

i’m not sure i can answer “do you like supernatural?” without a lawyer present. i was obsessed with supernatural as a teenager, then i stopped watching around season 10 or 11. i decided to rewatch the entire thing after november 5th. 

supernatural would be so good if it was good. i’m a “supernatural should’ve ended after season 5” truther but i admit that some of the later seasons do have their moments.

not the ending though. the ending is so completely beyond parody i don’t even know what to say. castiel is in superhell for gay angels. dean gets nailed by vampire clowns. when i first saw the aged-up version of sam i literally burst out laughing. at least the wincesties got a forehead touch out of it i guess???? i am so glad that i’ve built up enough emotional distance to laugh instead of rage about this because i know my teenage self would’ve had a conniption.

goethe’s faust and euripides’ orestes

they’ve got nothing to do with each other but i have the exact same beef with both of them so i’m just gonna throw them together. 

faust ending: faust loses his wager with mephisto and should’ve by all rights gone to hell but god says ????? (don’t even ask i’m not sure i could explain whatever twisted logic is going on there. something about faust using his devil-bestowed powers for good) and faust goes to heaven anyway.

goethe, my guy, you named the thing faust. eine tragödie. where’s the tragedy i was promised? false advertising. fuck you.

orestes ending: standoff between menelaus and orestes; orestes is holding a knife to hermione’s (menelaus’ and helen’s daughter) throat; this will not end well. or so you thought! at the last possible second, apollo swoops down and fixes everything, tells orestes to marry hermione and ???

nothing is satisfyingly resolved but hey, at least no one’s dead. except iphigenia, and agamemnon, and clytemnestra. this fucking family…

this is what the ancients called deus ex machina and what i call an ass pull.

i just think if you’ve constructed an entire narrative that follows a very clear, specific direction, you shouldn’t then swerve to the left. SEEMS LOGICAL TO ME

and it’s not just philistine bitching on my part btw. there’s actual academic debate about what the hell these authors were thinking. that being said, i’m a hater because i’m a lover, and i wouldn’t be so mad if i didn’t love both these plays

game of thrones

i am sure everyone has heard about how much the ending fucking sucks. from building up the night king to be a badass villain only to kill him in the ass-pulliest way imaginable in one (1) night, to walking back all the character development the characters went through to jon’s heritage being meaningless to having a thus far sympathetic dany snap and burn a city down over literally nothing to jaime and cersei being killed by falling rocks to brandon fucking stark, a character so uninteresting the show forgot about him for a whole season, sitting on the iron throne.

also, euron greyjoy is my favorite character in the books and i’ll never forgive the show for butchering him (i don’t know who the fuck that guy on the screen is, it sure ain’t euron).

one thing that i find fascinating is that it’s literally just the writing that sucks. the costumes are beautiful, the soundtrack is better than the show deserves (thank you ramin djawadi ilu mwah <3), the dragons look great, the actors are doing the best they can. highest production value piece of garbage ever made.

the magnus archives

(little warning bc i’m really mad about this so vitriol ahead. also, i have not listened to the magnus protocol and i’m not sure i ever will)

i yelled about this a lot and i’m ready to yell about this some more!! THIS IS A SEASON 5 HATE BLOG. i’m so serious it’s literally a better podcast if you ignore season 5 and act like MAG 160 is the ending.  jonathan ‘the archivist’ sims should’ve had a corruption arc and i will die on this hill, everything E V E R Y T H I N G pointed towards jon becoming a monster and enjoying it. it could’ve been so good!!! instead we got some formulaic bullshit, the concept of (and i cannot stress this enough) parallel universes introduced like three episodes before the ending, and the single shittiest romance i have ever been subjected to. the way martin treats jon is sooo fucking vile and yet the podcast is constantly like aren’t they so cute :) isn’t this soo romantic :) NO IT FUCKING ISN’T. he’s dating his shitty coworker who he doesn’t even like that much why exactly am i supposed to be rooting for this relationship jesus fuck i feel like i’m being gaslit. i don’t just have a notp i genuinely feel like jonmartin ruined the entire thing.

s5 also completely ignored jonah magnus who, apart from being one of the most interesting characters, is THE GUY THE PODCAST WAS NAMED AFTER. but yeah, sure, who cares about him? let's have five more episodes of jon and martin being fundamentally incompatible. 

and then there’s the ending where jon is the only one who stands up for what’s right. the podcast tries to act like keeping the fears in their world or releasing the fears are two equally bad choices but the latter is so clearly worse. so clearly the wrong choice to make. AND THEN THEY MAKE THAT TERRIBLE CHOICE FUCK THIS SO MUCH

tma season 5 is one of those cases where you can so clearly see the potential of something that could’ve been so great and they just threw that away AND FOR WHAT 

(ok i’m done yelling about this now. just kidding i’ll never be done)

[tiggymalvern]

I was talking with my spouse about tastes in porn the other night (as you do), and I mentioned that I’m currently writing a threesome fic. “Oh, which three?” he asked. “The original three,” I said. “Michael, Fiona and Sam. Almost all the Burn Notice poly fics are those three.” And my spouse, who has never sat down to watch an episode of Burn Notice, but has been absorbing more than he probably ever wanted to know through months of chronic exposure, said, “Huh. Well, I’m glad they let Sam in, I thought it would have been Jesse.” And then we got into a half hour long discussion about ageism in fandom and racism in fandom, and who the fangirls consider conventionally attractive enough to be fuckable, and all the ways the writing can influence that. (It gets harder to dismiss Sam as too old to have a sex life when he’s canonically shagging his way through half the Miami country club set. And there’s the history with those three, going back years before the show even started, which creates a dynamic that can’t be replicated with Jesse.) But it got me reflecting again, and I’ve always been puzzled by the ageism thing, even back before I got to be middle aged myself. Around the year 2000 when The West Wing was the latest big fandom, I found a fantastic slash fic with Leo McGarry and Lord John Marbury. It was so funny and snarky, and totally in character and yes, it was hot. So I was reccing this fic and getting the reaction, ‘Ewww! Old people sex! I don’t want to read that, I don’t need those images in my head!’ And I was all 0_0 But the fic! It’s so well written! Why will nobody love it? (A couple of people did read it and come around, so kudos to the writer for achieving that XD) It varies so much with the fandom too. Any fandom that skews older tends to have less ageism (no surprise there). There was never a shortage of sex for middle aged, bald Picard in TNG fics, a show that came with a lot of women who’d been fans of the 60s Trek. In the Hannibal fandom, up until a couple of years ago I would have said that there was no ageism there at all, given the preponderance of opinion that circa 50-year-old Mads Mikkelsen is a definitive DILF. But apparently the Hannibal fans over on twitter found some idiots who were willing to overlook the gaslighting, manipulation and stabbing in that relationship, but thought a ten year age gap was beyond the pale. Honestly? The whole show is about this utterly obsessive, screwed up relationship between these two men – if you find the basic concept of it repellant, why are you even here?? And then there’s the racism issue, which I’ll admit I spent many years in fandom living in complete ignorance of. Part of that is because a lot of the early fandoms I wrote for were So Very White (Due South had one Black minor character) or anime fandoms, where characters might have been nominally Japanese, but looked about as Japanese as I do. The place I really ran into the racism hard was in Hannibal. The number of people who would happily ship Hannibal and Will, despite the above-mentioned gaslighting, manipulation and stabbing, but who thought Jack Crawford was practically Satan because he talked Will into doing an unpleasant job and got angry and yelled sometimes – that was quite an eye-opener. The justifications they would come up with for it were fun too – ‘It’s workplace abuse! Jack’s in a position of power!’ Hmmm, but Hannibal's in a position of power and committing medical malpractice, and having a frustrated boss shouting at you is hardly worse than the drugging and the stabbing, really, is it? And honestly, I don’t have anywhere I’m really going with all of this, other than just to vomit out what I’ve been pondering over, and to say that we fans can be strange, and shallow. And blind, sometimes. So very blind.

[arece]

Hi Abby, I realy like your stories, you are one of the reasons I decided to share my stories here too ♡ Could you give me some tips on how to write (and maybe share your thoughts on my story please)? I started with Hannibal, I think it is a good show for your dark fics too. Have a nice day ☆☆☆

I can’t even put into words how this makes me feel. For years i’ve had inspirations from other authors and little writers who have brought me to where I am today, to the choices of my career and what I’m studying in college. To be a small piece of that for someone else? Its honestly left me breathless in the most prettiest way.

Now, what I’ll say might not be what you’re looking for, but its the truth for a lot. A cliché because that’s how they work. Writing is a craft, a craft you can only perfect in a way that’s personal, a way that’s yours. No one will be ever fully able to tell you how to write; but they can advise you on what might help guide you to write.

It’s taken me so long to reach where I am in my writing and even then I’m still not close to reaching my full potential, I never will, really. With each piece you write, no matter how long - even a simple sentence - you grow your craft, develop your writing. Any case, here’s some things i’ve realized so far in my short journey as a writer:

1. Probably most cliché of all: you’re already a writer. You’ve written a sentence? Congratulations, you’ve done what a writer does. Now, that’s not me putting down the hard work authors do to create their art, it’s the fact that you’ve tried. You put in effort, work, and love. That’s what a writer does.

2. Writers block will always happen, no one’s able to avoid it, it will happen to you. Now, there’s no concrete solution to get rid of it, even as i’m typing this I’m fighting a large writers block. This is because there’s so many possible causes that lead to you’re writers block. However you can attempt to treat it, little things to make it less harsh. Go back to your roots, what brought you to loving writing in the first place.

- Share your work with people you love.

- Play music that just hits, that makes you want to write something based on it.

- Watch your favorite movies and tv shows.

- Most important, don’t force it, don’t make yourself lose your love for writing, it’s okay to take a break and give yourself the space you need to write again.

3. Never pressure yourself, if you’ve noticed something is pressuring you with writing, immediately take a step back. Writing is supposed to be a safe space, a creative outlet. Don’t let whatever is pressuring you to destroy that peace.

4. Never let online posting scare you out of sharing your work. At the end of the day that piece of writing is yours. It’s your baby, your pride, and never let someone ruin it for you. Don’t let interaction discourage you, because one loving person who’s thoroughly enjoying your writing is better than thousands of empty likes, and sometimes that one person ends up being you. If you need to, think of your online postings as an archive, a place to keep your precious artwork.

5. Your writings gonna change, it will never stay the same, don’t let that scare you. The change can happen fast and for different reasons, but it’s a good thing, I promise. It means you’re learning, growing. The change can happen especially fast when you’re getting used to posting online when it’s something new for you. While I was writing Heart to Heart I would go back to the first chapter after each new chapter - kinda a bad thing for me, it scared me seeing how different it was, it made me feel inconsistent when in reality I was growing into my writing.

6. There’s no one way to write or to make yourself write. This is one part no one can truly guide you on, it’s something you mess around with to find what works for you. Maybe you like to be messy, spur of the moment. Maybe you’re more neat, consistent. While writing Heart to Heart? I was a mess. I had a single notebook dedicated it, scribbled with useless notes and ideas, some even written sideways on the page - I didn’t even use half the ideas because they contradicted other points! Sometimes you might just need a space to throw your ideas even if they’re a weird garbled mess, just to get it out there to organize at a later date.

7. Don’t be afraid to leave stuff out, you don’t have to use every single idea, sometimes they just don’t work with that particular piece. Save it for a rainy day.

8. Don’t be afraid to move on. As you grow as a writer you also grow away from your routes and interests. This one can be the hardest, you will lose some readers and that’s okay, hopefully they’ll find what they need from a different writer as you gain new ones. It’s better you let it go when you’ve given it your best than to hold on and ruin a relic of something you once loved. (i’m sorry my john wick readers)

Your writing is beautiful, I was so excited to read it that I read over it twice while I was on the bus to work, haha. Please, keep posting, whatever type of content it maybe, as long as you enjoy doing it. I’ve followed you because I’m excited to watch you grow as a writer, excited that I’ve found someone who has a passion. Reach out for any and everything, I want to be there for it all, even if it’s something as minor as editing! I’m sorry this is so long, I got carried away haha. Welcome to posting and may you have the greatest time!

- Abby <3

[nakimochiku]

that fic meme

How many works do you have on AO3?: 142

What’s your total AO3 word count?: 408,786 (ooh. Not bad?)

What fandoms do you write for?: all. Hell baby i write for fandoms im not even IN. But at the moment, mdzs.

What are your top five fics by kudos: All this time I was just waiting for you (moon knight), These Violent Delights (moon knight), That a Ghost should be so practical (Hamilton), I don’t want anyone else (when i think about you)(moon knight), what we hate in others (we see in ourselves)(attack on titan)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?: i do cause i actually just really really wanna talk to people!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?: probably I Call The Shots(snk), everyone died. Or Keep Pushing (snk), everyone is GOING to die.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?: probably Found a Place to Rest my Head (saiyuki), cause no one dies and they adopt kids.

Do you get hate on fics?: on this one particular Hannibal fic

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?: All kinds. Partial to anything with any kinda dirty talk/praise kink. Literally cant write smut without that featured. After that, a lot of D/s tones.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?: I’ve actually never written a crossover?! Like at most ive written “ y characters in x universe” like. Typical hogwarts au or some shit. Craziest of those i’ve written was a sentinel/guide au for spn.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?: probably not and im not sure id care even if i did.

Have you ever had a fic translated?: Yep!

 Have you ever co-written a fic before?: Nothing that ever got published. Mostly shooting shit with friends.

 What’s your all-time favorite ship?: Impossible to answer. Changes on every rewatch even of old favs. But i can tell you my ship dynamic! Rivals to friends to lovers. Gimme some rivals to ship ANY day.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?: This University Au for moon knight that is sitting half finished in my Docs is fucking haunting me.

 What are your writing strengths?: Putting my whole pussy into whatever it is i’m writing. Also, imagery and extended metaphors.

What are your writing weaknesses?: Cohesion. The ideas are there but smoothing them together is so tough!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?: I wish i could do it because it adds a flavour of authenticity to the fic but… i also know i hate reading it, and if i can suspend my disbelief and IMAGINE the character is speaking a different language when im told they are, thats enough.

First fandom you wrote for?: Technically Yugioh, but never posted. So Officially, Naruto.

Fave fic you’ve written?: impossible question BUT gun to my head for an answer, i think i did a DAMN GOOD job on Artemis Agrotera (the walking dead). Some A+ imagery and extended metaphors there.

tagging any mutuals who haven’t done this yet. But also specifically @first-renegade

[smokeybrand]

Twincest

I have been absolutely captivated by Rachel Weisz for years. I was introduced to this vision of beauty like most of my peers, way back when the Brendan Fraser Mummy flick dropped. Her Evy Carnahan made that film for me. I mean, it’s excellent on it’s own, so campy and hilarious, but i left that theater back in the waning days of the Nineties, one hundred percent smitten with Weisz. My adoration for her definitely started as a teenage crush but, as time has gone on and my cinematic sensibilities have matured, I've fallen in love with her acting ability. Rachel Weisz never misses, man. Sunshine, Enemy at the Gates, The Constant Gardener, The Fountain, The Lovely Bones, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Lobster, Disobedience, and The Favourite are all favorites but Constantine definitely stands out. I have written at length about my love for that flick. I mean, The Favourite is up there, too, but Constantine is just aces in my book, mostly because Rachel Weisz kills it.

Obviously, whenever she has a project drop, I'm giving it my full attention and her newest just so happens to be an updated re-imagining of one of my favorite Cronenberg blood baths. You know i had to check out Dead Ringers! I’m a fan of horror. Have been for years so Croneneberg’s unique vision of the grotesque and the horrible always rings truer to my eye than, say, Clive Barker. Toss Rachel Weisz into the mix, turn it from a two hour film, into an six episode, prestige mini-series on Amazon, and i am there with bells on!  Listen, I'm not going to spoil anything about this show. Not even a goddamn hint. I am just going to gush about how f*cking amazing this viewing experience was and how i am devastated that it’s over. Off the top, Dead Ringers is excellent. Go watch that sh*t, right now. It’s on Amazon so if you have Prime, you got it. If you don’t, pay the ten dollars or whatever for the month and binge that sh*t because it’s inspired! Weisz delivers one of her best performances, playing dueling twins, Elliot and Beverly Mantle. They’re Gynecologists who do gynecological things, brilliantly, until they don’t. And things get weird. Then they get bloody. Also, even weirder. The rest of the supporting cast really carries their own weight, especially the likes of Jennifer Ehle. Her Rebecca Parker is just so insidiously delightful.

Even more than the performances, i have to praise the exceptionally strong direction. Four people took the helm over these six episodes and the tone maintained a steady feel. You’d never know that someone different directed episodes two through five. But, for me, the cherry on top of this ridiculously fattening cinematic sundae, was the cinematography. God, his show is shot beautifully! Each frame is a goddamn work of art. It reminds me of an Ari Aster film or that old Hannibal show from NBC which was criminally canceled. Dead Ringers is everything you want in a prestige television series. It’s a solidly performed epic, full of violence, sex, intrigue, and the darkest humor this side of Fargo. If the idea of Rachel Weisz playing unhinged and genius identical twins with a penchant for the sapphic isn’t enough to grab your attention, then do it for the bonkers spiral over six episodes. If you’ve seen the original Cronenberg film from the Eighties, you have the broad strokes of the plot but make no mistake; This version of that story is definitely it’s own thing. It’s more “inspired by” than a direct, gender-bent, remake. I positively cherished my time in this world and want to play within it much, much, more. If you have a morning or afternoon to kill, take the time to savor this show. It’s so deliciously perfect!

[xavantina]

I am so very bad at actually doing these things, but I was tagged by the lovely and talented @gavotteangel, so I finally got off my butt and went to town.

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? A measly 31. But in my defense, I’m ancient, so I have posted at least twice as many on LiveJournal back in the day.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 162,236  

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Six are represented on AO3, including a mix of various RPF fandoms, Hannibal, Law and Order: SVU, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and recently Loki. But back in my teenage years I wrote fic in the Lord of the Rings fandom, Harry Potter, and as I got older even more diverse RPF, mostly centered around US political media and, uh... Top Gear. Look, I have a past, okay, leave me alone.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Assemble, a lighthearted, non-graphic-but-still-very-shippy Marvel RPF

As Loud as the Hell You Want, smutty Will Graham/Frederick Chilton

The Ties That Bind, a Barisi soulmate AU

Arrest Me - another Barisi fic, this one smutty

Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde - a Carisi/Amaro (and Carisi/OFC) porn fic where I’m actually super proud of the title. it really sets the tone 😂

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? Almost always. If you took the time to comment, I will take the time to say thank you. Especially when I get the really juicy comments, like those that quote favourite lines and stuff. I love those comments, they’re so helpful!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I’m really bad at following through on angst, I wrap that shit up with a vaguely happy ending. That said, Control You is pretty bad. It’s also locked, because I lock RPF religiously. kill them; kill them with fire is technically still a WIP, so it doesn’t count, although it’s some of the angstiest fic I’ve written.

7. do you write crossovers? Not so much these days, but I used to

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? Oh yes, before the US Pundit fandom hid all the RPF away in secret, thoroughly locked LJ communities, there were some pretty ugly instances of hate going around.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Ahahaha, yes, I do. 23 of those 31 fics are rated E. And it was the same back on LJ.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

11. have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve received requests for a couple of fics to be translated into Russian. I gave my permission, but I have no idea if they followed through with it.

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Way back when I was 18 I had a 42 year old BFF from California who shared my brand of absurd humour and we co-wrote a sprawling 20K+ Pundit RPF comedy zombie AU, where we took turns writing the chapters as we went along, playing off what the other person had written in the previous chapter. I was a great experience, like the fic equivalent of improv comedy groups. An entire story based on ‘yes, and...’ as a concept.

13. what’s your all-time favorite ship? I can’t possibly answer that question, I’m a bit of a whore in this respect. I mix and match. Although judging from my AO3 account it’s ChillyWilly and Barisi, and it’s true that I love those ships.

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? kill them; kill them with fire probably. It’s a ASOUE Zombie AU with stand-alone chapters focusing on different characters in different locations, but in a vaguely chronological order. Can you tell that I adore zombie AUs? Anyway, I was very proud of this one, because this particular zombie apocalypse is totally “realistic” in-universe. It takes an existing killer-fungus danger and replaces ‘certain death’ being the result of infection with ‘zombies’ being the result. So yes, it’s The Last of Us-style “zombies”. I actually stole the terminology from there as well, because I couldn’t be bothered with creating too much lore. I never care about the actual zombie horror anyway, I care about the human reaction to a deadly crisis. 

15. what are your writing strengths? A writer I admired very much in ye olden days once told me that I was good at blending genres and moods organically, in those day it was combinations of action, humour, and smut. She then asked me, me, for advice on a fic. I still think about that every single time I feel down.

16. what are your writing weaknesses? Definitely a tendency for overly detailed, flowery, self-indulgently elaborate prose. I spent years forcing myself to use a plain ‘said’ more often, because God knows I struggled with the concept from the beginning. And commas. So many commas. I often joke that Ernest Hemingway would fucking deck me if he was alive and reading my stuff. Oscar Wilde would you rather discuss writing with? Case closed.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I think it’s fine in controlled doses, especially if you consult native speakers to confirm that google translate isn’t about to make you look really silly to native speakers of the language in question.

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Lord of the Rings, I think? At least in English. I was 14 when the first film came out, so it was around then. It was really bad. English is my second language, and my grammar... left something to be desired. Okay, technically I wrote fic for The Hobbit first, because our teacher was pretty cool when it came to assigning various writing challenges, and in this case he made us all write fanfic that should be a twist on the pretty anticlimactic (according to him) ending of the book. I proceeded to literally kill off half the dwarves in a gruesome Smaug-fight. Very indiscriminately, I might add. Completely random. Just piling up dead, scorched dwarves for shits and giggles.

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? Okay, bear with me here, but I’m just really proud of Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde. Probably the smuttiest smut I’ve ever written. I enjoyed every second of the writing process, I had a wonderful time, and it lives up to its title in terms of balls to the wall PWP insanity.  A Guide to Recognizing Your Ghosts and Unfortunate Living Arrangements are also up there, because I’m still a Chilton fangirl at heart.

20. who do you tag? all of my old ASOUE peeps! @beatricebidelaire, @virginian-wolfsnake, @kitsnicket etc. etc. You know who you are.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Twincest

I have been absolutely captivated by Rachel Weisz for years. I was introduced to this vision of beauty like most of my peers, way back when the Brendan Fraser Mummy flick dropped. Her Evy Carnahan made that film for me. I mean, it’s excellent on it’s own, so campy and hilarious, but i left that theater back in the waning days of the Nineties, one hundred percent smitten with Weisz. My adoration for her definitely started as a teenage crush but, as time has gone on and my cinematic sensibilities have matured, I've fallen in love with her acting ability. Rachel Weisz never misses, man. Sunshine, Enemy at the Gates, The Constant Gardener, The Fountain, The Lovely Bones, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Lobster, Disobedience, and The Favourite are all favorites but Constantine definitely stands out. I have written at length about my love for that flick. I mean, The Favourite is up there, too, but Constantine is just aces in my book, mostly because Rachel Weisz kills it.

Obviously, whenever she has a project drop, I'm giving it my full attention and her newest just so happens to be an updated re-imagining of one of my favorite Cronenberg blood baths. You know i had to check out Dead Ringers! I’m a fan of horror. Have been for years so Croneneberg’s unique vision of the grotesque and the horrible always rings truer to my eye than, say, Clive Barker. Toss Rachel Weisz into the mix, turn it from a two hour film, into an six episode, prestige mini-series on Amazon, and i am there with bells on!  Listen, I'm not going to spoil anything about this show. Not even a goddamn hint. I am just going to gush about how f*cking amazing this viewing experience was and how i am devastated that it’s over. Off the top, Dead Ringers is excellent. Go watch that sh*t, right now. It’s on Amazon so if you have Prime, you got it. If you don’t, pay the ten dollars or whatever for the month and binge that sh*t because it’s inspired! Weisz delivers one of her best performances, playing dueling twins, Elliot and Beverly Mantle. They’re Gynecologists who do gynecological things, brilliantly, until they don’t. And things get weird. Then they get bloody. Also, even weirder. The rest of the supporting cast really carries their own weight, especially the likes of Jennifer Ehle. Her Rebecca Parker is just so insidiously delightful.

Even more than the performances, i have to praise the exceptionally strong direction. Four people took the helm over these six episodes and the tone maintained a steady feel. You’d never know that someone different directed episodes two through five. But, for me, the cherry on top of this ridiculously fattening cinematic sundae, was the cinematography. God, his show is shot beautifully! Each frame is a goddamn work of art. It reminds me of an Ari Aster film or that old Hannibal show from NBC which was criminally canceled. Dead Ringers is everything you want in a prestige television series. It’s a solidly performed epic, full of violence, sex, intrigue, and the darkest humor this side of Fargo. If the idea of Rachel Weisz playing unhinged and genius identical twins with a penchant for the sapphic isn’t enough to grab your attention, then do it for the bonkers spiral over six episodes. If you’ve seen the original Cronenberg film from the Eighties, you have the broad strokes of the plot but make no mistake; This version of that story is definitely it’s own thing. It’s more “inspired by” than a direct, gender-bent, remake. I positively cherished my time in this world and want to play within it much, much, more. If you have a morning or afternoon to kill, take the time to savor this show. It’s so deliciously perfect!

[nowisthewinter]

The Wendigo and the Norse

In every legend there is usually a grain of truth. Something that started off as fact but then was wrapped over and over again in fancy and fantastical ribbons of fiction until it became legend.

I think this is the story of the Wendigo. My theory is the legend of the Wendigo has its seeds of the time the Norse met Native Americans and the disaster that came from that. 

Let’s start off with the Algonquian legend of the Wendigo. It’s not like what you see in Hannibal. There are no stags. Nothing deer-like at all. A Wendigo begins as a man who commits the act of cannibalism. And through that act, he is cursed. It changes him. He grows a never ending hunger for even more human flesh and blood. He becomes stronger. More savage. His violence has no limits. A mixture of man and beast. Pale and gaunt. Like walking death, gluttony and rage. 

From the books I’ve read as a kid this was a metaphor for human greed. People now associate the Wendigo with famine and the harsh North American winters that can lead to famine during dire times. And still in other stories, the Wendigo is a metaphor for Death, itself. 

But give me a moment and let’s look at the Norse in North America. We only know that the Norse were in North America from two things, Europeans who said that, hey, some Norse went West and the fact that we have found Norse artifacts in North America. However, we don’t have any Algonquian stories of them meeting each other despite the artifacts pointing that they could have indeed possibly have met. Given that the Algonquian nation didn’t have a written language at the time of the initial meeting and everything was passed down through oral tradition, this makes partial sense. Partial only because you would think they would have at least some legends of meeting pale people with hair and eye color that would be unlike their own. 

And that’s what has me thinking. The legend of the Wendigo declares the creature to be a mixture of man and beast. Now if I were an Algonquian and saw a red headed man with a bushy red beard and hazel eyes for the first time in my life when up until then I had never saw anyone else remotely looking like him and I grew up on tales of shapeshifters and magic I would think, “Is that a fox or a man? Or a man-fox? A beast-man?” Blond hair? My brain goes to the hide of a deer. Blue eyes? A bobcat kitten. Sandy brown hair? Wolf’s fur. 

And there is the skin of these strangers. Pale. Corpse pale. Pale as Death, itself. 

These strangers are pale and beast like. 

Now what do they want? Everything they can get their hands on and they are willing to destroy everything in their path to get it. 

Mind you, when you think of the Norse, you think of pagan Vikings. Raiders who pray to Odin and Thor. But in this case, these invaders would have been Christian by then. Converted by almost a hundred years. So, while trying to take everything that isn’t nailed down, they would also be trying to convert the Native Americans to Catholicism. And more importantly, they would bring the ritual of Mass with them. 

Now how do you prove you are a Catholic at Mass? Why by symbolically eating “the body” and “the blood” of Christ, of course. 

To a non-Catholic with no contextual clue of any of the Abrahamic religions, Catholic Mass would seem to be asking its converts to commit cannibalism. 

That if you eat flesh and blood, you become one of them.

So, here you have the Native Americans coming face to face with these violent thieving invaders who only want more and more and more, who look partially like the animals around them, are as pale as corpses and are trying convert you into their foreign religion by making you eat the body and blood of their god. And that’s all it takes, just one taste of the body and blood and you are one of them. 

Now doesn’t that sound like a Wendigo? 

And if that isn’t enough to make a case, let’s look at the name itself, “Wendigo.” No one knows the exact origin of the name. Some people believe it stems from a Proto-Algonquian word for “owl.” But there is nothing owl related in any of the tales about the creature. 

So, what if the name isn’t Proto-Algonquian at all. What if it is a different language that the Native Americans picked up from the invaders? And that language?

Latin. 

What if “Wendigo” started off as a Latin phrase that these Catholics would have been saying over and over again but since the Native Americans had never heard of a single word of Latin beforehand, ended up butchering the original phrase through a game a telephone until we ended up with “Wendigo?” Now what would that Catholic Latin phrase be?

“In Christo,” which translates to, “In Christ.”

Go on. Say the phase out loud and compare it to “Wendigo.” You can hear the similarities. So, imagine yourself a Native American hearing this phrase over and over again as these invaders try to convert you. So much so that you start to use this phrase as a moniker for these strangers. The “In Christo.” You pass the story of them to other nations in warning but those other nations don’t understand what you are saying and name transforms to something more familiar, “Wendigo.” Ah, yes, you know that word. That makes sense. 

Don’t eat flesh. Don’t drink blood. Or else you will become a savage Wendigo. 

And this is my theory on how the legend of the Wendigo started off as a warning against the Catholic Norse. 

[justhannigramfics]

Hi I was wondering, on your ao3 profile, you made it seem like you had just made it to read but found yourself inspired to start writing them as well. I've noticed that you have tons of WIPs that you frequently update, and I was wondering if you had any tips on planning and writing longfics. Im so amazed you're able to keep the plot organized for so many working pieces and would love to hear your advice on planning your plots. I find myself in the very same situation as you were, where I still love reading fanfic and now I find myself wanting to write fanfic for hannibal too but I've never written anything before. Thank you!

Hi! I hope you’re ready for a bit of a long response. I tend to ramble a bit. Hopefully you don’t mind.

Yes, that’s what happened. I hadn’t planned to write any fanfiction for the Hannibal fandom, but I wanted to read. I had written for other fandoms on fanfiction.net (fandom elder just about) but they hadn’t been for media as mature and complex as Hannibal. I found the idea intimidating, to say the least. After reading a good amount of fics, I had an idea I wasn’t satisfied to put into the world and hope someone else would pick up.

So I started writing.

I’m not sure how helpful I will be in the facet of giving advice. Perhaps you’ll understand why after I’ve rambled a bit more. I understand many authors write in a very different way than I do, at least method-wise.

The truth is that I almost never plan anything beforehand. The only time I remember planning a fic at all before I started writing is for my Fit for the Gods series, because I wanted continuity through all three stories. I usually just start writing, and see where it goes from there. I couldn’t even tell you what is going to happen in the next chapter of my fic unless I’ve already written it. I might have a vague idea, but that’s if I’ve been thinking about it more than the others.

As for keeping them organized, I am similarly unhelpful. I just remember what each fic is like. If it’s been a while since I worked on an idea, I’ll read some to refresh the story in my mind, but for the most part I just remember. It’s like having a bunch of cassettes (really making myself sound old here) and whenever I write, that’s the cassette playing. When I’m not working on them, the ideas go back on the shelf, and they keep their place for as long as it takes me to get back to it.

I’m sorry I’m not helpful for that. I almost feel like saying it is bragging, but I’m genuinely disappointed I can’t give advice to people who ask.

The best advice I can offer is to just start writing. Try different things until you find what works for you. I have a friend who plans out every detail of their fic before they so much as begin writing. They enjoy the process if planning more than the actual writing, which bewilders me whenever I think of it. Everyone writes differently, and the only way to find out how you do it is to do it.

I hope you will start writing, and that I’ll get to read your story. Any idea you have is worth sharing.

[mouthlessmaiden]

i for real think that a lot of riddlebat shippers don’t get/are outright ignoring exactly what kind of ship it is. i get that u guys want a problematic murder ship where the serial killer is psychosexually obsessed w the investigator that becomes a twisted mutual game of cat and mouse and can i just say…go watch hannibal? watch killing eve? watch anything other than the batman because that’s like…not what that is. you guys have the serial killer aspect down pat, and i’ve seen ppl acknowledge that he’s also similar to incel school shooters and be alright with that but all of the shippers are ignoring the real uncomfy aspect of their twinkified fav, which is that he was written to be an allegory for young white men radicalized to white supremacy on sites like 4chan. this guy spends the entire final act of the movie attempting to assassinate a black woman in power for attempting to enact social change. it is revealed that he’s been radicalizing other white men to hate this woman despite the fact that she’s trying to better society for everyone. sound familiar? it should, because it has been a growing movement in our society for years now. if you guys wanna UwUify paul dano and ship him with batman, may i introduce you to crossover fic? im sure he’s played at least one shippable white guy that isn’t a neo-nazi. but even if you don’t do any of that a lot of you guys need to at least just realize your fav’s endgame was never going after batman: it was going after a black woman in power who wanted to do good.

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit