#i'll tag it as vent just in case it comes across as that

[starfallen-sloth]

Yall ever hear the wildest shit that you have to have a 10 minute laughing fit

[dandyshucks]

i think the issue with me making those polaroids is now i feel like the bar is SO HIGH for myself. listen to me. i am putting my hands on ur shoulders and staring at you. (or more likely sitting several feet away counting tiles on the floor while i speak bc eye contact is uncomfortable and numbers are soothing HFDSJGKL.) i am a mediocre artist i promise. i dont know what happened with those polaroids but i have to go look at the timelapses sometimes to convince myself i didnt somehow conjure those up out of thin air. also theres mistakes even in those art pieces but thats not rly here nor there.

genuinely though most of my art comes out looking mediocre at BEST and only every now and then i get smth i feel like is good enough for sharing dsfjkl u have no idea how many times i have erased eye lines over and over and over again to try to get it to look even halfway right 😭 trying to draw matching eyes is my arch nemesis of the art world alongside hands

[maochira]

"Du spielst immer wieder Gott mit deiner Macht!"

Ness was yelling at Kaiser at a volume you've never heard him speak in. You didn't know he was capable of being so loud.

tags: gn!reader x Alexis Ness, reader is around 18 years old and works at Blue Lock, angst, hurt/comfort, Ness my poor baby boy, reader and Ness can be seen as in a platonic or romantic relationship it's your choice, Ness snaps at Kaiser holy fuck, I recommend listening to this song because it inspired this fic

"Du spielst immer wieder Gott mit deiner Macht!" Ness repeated, but you couldn't understand what he was saying because you didn't have your translator earbuds in, so you quickly tried to get them out of your pocket.

Originally, you were walking past Kaiser's room because you had to get to Noa's office to give him something from Ego. But that had to wait.

"It's always Isagi you talk about! Always him!" Now you were able to understand what Ness was saying, or well, he was yelling. Almost screaming. "What about me?!"

But to your surprise, you didn't hear Kaiser yell anything back. He didn't even talk at all. You could picture the scene that was happening inside Kaiser's room in your head: Ness, full of anger, standing in front of Kaiser, while Kaiser looks down at him with a cold gaze. Or a smirk. Both would be possible for him.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, almost scary. You knew your task was to get to Noa, but staying here right now felt a lot more important. Just in case. After all, you and Ness were quite close. You wanted to be there for him if needed.

"Get the fuck out of my sight." Kaiser broke the silence with a cold voice.

For a second you debated with yourself to leave, but ended up staying.

The door to Kaiser's door opened and Ness exited the room. He looked like a mess, a few tears still running down his cheeks, which he wiped away with his sleeve.

His head was lowered, so he only noticed you when he raised his head a couple seconds after closing the door.

"(Y/N)?" His eyes widened a little. "Oh... You heard that?"

You nodded. "Are you okay? You can talk to me if you want to."

Ness shrugged in response. "No, it's fine." He faked a smile. "I'll return to my room." And before you got to think about an answer, Ness ran away.

You thought about following him, but decided not to. Maybe he just needed a moment for himself. After all, he really looked like a mess. He was probably feeling like one as well.

So you continued your original task and headed to Noa's room.

But the entire time, you couldn't get Ness out of your head. The words he yelled at Kaiser repeating over and over in your head.

"Du spielst immer wieder Gott mit deiner Macht!"

Even though you didn't know what that meant, you remembered the emotions you heard when he yelled those words. You could almost feel them yourself.

Even after returning to your own room, Ness was stuck in your head.

You thought about going to his room to check on him, but the moment you got up from your bed, you heard someone knocking on your door.

"(Y/N)?" It was Ness. "You... You offered me to talk to you, right?"

You opened the door and looked at him. "I did." A small smile across your lips. "Come in."

Both of you sat down on your bed, and at first, silence filled the room. Ness seemed to think about what to say, but after a bit he was able to put his thoughts into words.

He tells you everything he currently feels about Kaiser. The way Kaiser only ever talks about Isagi, the way he keeps ignoring Ness and his feelings over and over and how Ness felt so invalidated and hurt.

This wasn't the first time he vented to you. It's happened a couple times already, but he's never been a mess like this. It's also the first time he's explicitly vented about Kaiser. Before, whenever he vented to you, it was about other things he had on his mind. You never knew he carried these feelings and thoughts within himself.

You don't even know how much time has passed by since Ness entered your room, but all that mattered to you right now was holding him in your arms, slowly running one of your hands through his hair.

"May I ask something?" Your voice was so quiet, it was almost a whisper.

Ness didn't respond verbally, he only nodded.

"What did you say to Kaiser before you mentioned Isagi? I... I didn't have my earbuds in at that time."

Ness took a deep breath before answering: "You mean when I said... 'You keep playing God with your power'?"

[espresso-ships]

Account update!

Heyy!

I've missed interacting with my lovely mutuals on here so I just wanted to do a quick update for you all.

And I'm sorry if I've missed posts I've been tagged in! I'm not ignoring, just been pretty offline lately. <3

This could probably come across really petty but I promise that's not my intention.

Like I said in my previous post, the algorithms on Tumblr have been messing with my account lately. I've noticed many posts of mine don't show up in tags, or simply get lost among other posts.

It's my anxiety speaking but it makes me really anxious and paranoid - aka thinking my mutuals don't want to interact with me/that I've done something wrong etc. :/ Although I know that's not the case, but still

(This is just how I'm feeling rn, and it's NOT towards someone, just a vent.)

It's also tiring to be attacked by anon proshippers simply for setting boundaries for myself and my account - like come on you guys...

Basically - Being on Tumblr is not good for my mental health right now 🥲

I'll still be posting, but maybe not as much. I'm more comfortable being on Instagram rn, so follow me there if you want! <3

(My username is @ varganardi)

So yea, that's a little update ahshsha

Once again - Love ya and thanks to everyone that supports my acc <3

Might delete this post later but wanted to put it out here

[his-tamine]

Hi! I have a request and I hope it doesn't come off as rude in any way because that's not my intent... can you please tag the not-snz stuff you RB so I can add to my blocked? It's not that I'm disagreeing with these posts at all-- just that I come here when I'm horny and seeing stuff about kids etc is jarring in a not-great way.

Ah, okey dokey. You must be talking about my most recent reblog of that GoFundMe, to help a little girl and her family get out of Gaza.

Typically I do tag non-snz/non-kink in general things as such, but I've tended not to tag important content like that with it, *because* I don't want it falling under people's blocked by mistake. The point is for as many people to see it, as possible, in case anyone can actually help. Even if only just a little.

People who have the "not snz" tag blocked are usually just trying to weed out shitposts, vents, etc. and may still care about signal boost content & may even be able to help the person(s) who need it. I completely understand your not wanting to see children - just... at all - on your feed, while you're horny and seeking out kink/fet content, trust me, I personally couldn't agree more. But I at the same time feel that my momentary discomfort (while totally valid btw) isn't even a drop in the bucket compared to the horrors that - for example - this little kid and her family are experiencing only about a 13-hour flight across the world from me.

So, even though this is mainly a kink blog, this is also where I have the most followers, and I'm more than happy to reblog things like this nonetheless, because it's worth it if there's even a 1% it finds the right person. -> Still though, I again completely understand where you're coming from, and from here on out, I will tag posts that aren't snz-related but are still very important, under "spiidersignalboost" instead, so that you can block that if you wish, and it'll still be seen by those who aren't trying to filter out this type of content specifically. Furthermore, I'll also do better at tagging unimportant stuff under the "not snz" tag too, that's completely my bad.

And no, don't worry, you didn't come off as rude at all! ♥ I hope that I don't either lol,, I always want people to lmk if there's something that they feel needs fixing on my page, whether I fully agree with them or not. It helps me improve :3

[strawberryflatline]

♡DONT REPORT JUST BLOCK♡

♡this is a sideblog!! My main is Mortuary-Maggots. If you're a jirai kei page or something of the sort, and you see that account follow you, feel free to follow me here or there! My inbox is always open to new friends. Just don't expect to have my constant attention, I'm still an adult with unfortunate adult responsibilities. However, I love chatting, especially about shared interests♡

♡about me♡

♡Name: I'll go by Doll/Dolly/Doll Face or Bunny to protect my privacy

♡Pronouns: It/It's, I am simply a little creature masquerading as a totally normal human girl

♡Sexuality: honestly hard to say at this point. Men make me want to remove all of my skin; women are wonderful. I am polyamorous, that much I know

♡Age: 23 (I'd prefer for minors not to interact with this page, but inappropriate content if any will be tagged accordingly)

♡Zodiac: Capricorn Sun, Virgo Moon, Libra Rising

Mental Illnesses: unknown. Surprisingly, I made it this far undiagnosed (send help).

Likes: making friends (despite my initial mistrust and dislike of people), gaming, writing/reading, horror movies, smoking, drinking, making people unsettled, dolls, masks, art, clowns/jesters, angels, catholic imagery, naps, bunnies, cosplay, fashion, makeup, alternative subcultures, music, video game lore, puppets

Dislikes: men usually, 90% of the world's population (that's not to say I'm not approachable, feel free to message me, I just can't guarantee frequent responses for a myriad of reasons), ignorance, those who take out their issues on those they care about (if you have the self awareness to apologize/acknowledge your actions that's obviously a different story), girls who throw other girls under the bus in front of men to appear cooler, pants

♡what you'll find here♡

This is a place for me to dump my stream of consciousness. Apologies if I come across wordy or pretentious by the way I write. I am undiagnosed, so I can't say for sure what causes these thoughts, but regardless, I hope these posts find their homes on pages of like-minded individuals. There's comfort in knowing you're not navigating this fog alone. Oh yeah, also jirai kei and menhera. (Maybe some Astarion posting here and there because there's something so insanely relatable about that silly little vampire twink)

♡Potential Trigger Warnings♡

♡talks of sh (mostly in mental forms)

♡alcohol, substances (weed, cigarettes, psychedelics, molly) I'm over 21. Please do not report; just block.

♡negative thoughts, suicidal ideation, vent posts, trauma talk

♡nsfw content (rare if at all. Just wanted to add it here just in case)

♡unsettling imagery/horror content

♡talk of ED

(Will continue to add to this if need be)

♡DNI♡

♡I'd prefer no minors

♡proana content

♡homophobic/transphobic/racist/etc. Don't be a dick basically

♡people who use their mental illnesses as an excuse to be shitty to those around them. Your traumas are valid, but they are never an excuse to hurt others.

♡If you figure out who I am irl, no, you didn't. I highly value privacy as a highly paranoid individual.

[rhpsdys]

Hey, just so you know - the way you worded that post about seeing Raine in a dress was actually kind of...not good. Transmasc ppl can wear dresses...that doesn't make them fem-presenting or take away the fact they're transmasc. I realize you're transmasc too, so maybe you're projecting onto the character (nothing wrong with that), and it's perfectly fine if your Raine doesn't wear dresses and you personally don't like to see them in dresses. But the way you worded that post implied that 'Raine has to present masculinely by wearing 'masculine' clothes all the time or else they're suddenly fem', implied that Raine wearing 'feminine' clothes is wrong as well as implied that wearing a dress automatically makes someone fem-presenting, all of which are not the case. Besides, clothing is canonly not really 'gendered' in the show - Eda wears a suit for instance, Luz's grom outfit was incredibly gnc, and that's just two examples. I don't think you meant it in that way, but I thought it important to let you know that it did make some people uncomfortable, other enbies and transmascs included, with how you worded it.

hey anon — thanks for reaching out about this. i worried that that might be the case, and i really do appreciate you coming to me about it. that post is a few days old, so i'm not sure if you follow me or if you just saw it in the tags somehow (and it doesn't matter which, the impact was the same, also i know my inbox was closed so if that's why you're just telling me now, that's cool too.) i'm also not sure if you're speaking hyperbolically when you said it made "some people" uncomfortable, implying you've talked about it with other people, or if you're just referring to yourself. again, it doesn't matter either way, but please know that if you are one of my followers, this is absolutely something you could have come to me personally and privately about, because it's not a conversation i mind having. but no matter.

to actually address your point, i absolutely did not intend to imply that a person wearing dresses automatically means that they're fem or that a transmasc person has to wear more typically masculine clothes. your points are all correct about the gnc nature of clothing in the show, too. i never ever would want to suggest otherwise. that being said, you're right. it did end up being commentary on something broader, and i made a statement that made someone uncomfortable, so it doesn't really matter what the intention was. damage done or not, i'll delete the post, so no one else comes across it and feels the same discomfort, and will be more careful about how i word any further commentary about this in the future.

for the record, 100% i am projecting onto my interpretation of raine, and that post was a vent post about something i saw on tiktok. i know that some of my takes on raine's gender and gender presentation are significantly different from the wider fandom takes so there's going to be moments of contention, which is why i would never comment something like that on someone's work directly, or combat someone for how they draw or otherwise interpret a character. so please don't take a rant in the tags of a throwaway ooc post as the definitive proof of how i see other nonbinary people. we all have incredibly different lived experiences and i recognize that.

anyway, thank you again for coming to me about this. i appreciate the open dialogue.

[mcytconfession]

Woo… Light vent here with lots of words, but a soft tone I hope. Had to get thoughts out so I can sleep so bear with me.

Just came across a well-reblogged post full of people dogpiling on a server's canon story event that played a large role in the series plot, with users talking about how they hate any fandom content that interprets this event as something the character "did on purpose," or with any sign of them not being morally pure.

Their stated view was that character only engaged in X behavior to protect another character, with users shouting thanks to OP for saying they hate other views and that they agree this is the only clear way to interpret the event. Zhuh?! The comments were full of agreement that art and fics that treat X story event legitimately (as in, presenting that character showing no remorse, which they canonically didn't according to my personal watch) are annoying, gross, shouldn't be in the fandom, etc.

I genuinely wish I could ask someone who dislikes the story event (and is safe to talk to) for more info on their view that this character was only cruel during this event to protect someone... I do think it would be really cool to hear a polite perspective about their interpretation, which so greatly differs from my interpretation of X that I struggle to wrap my head around it, but… after seeing many reblogs and hate, I think I'll keep my head down. The event happened in canon, but even if it had been a fanmade concept that got popular, it'd be pretty hurtful to see so much bashing circulating.

They have the right to that opinion, but I wish it was kept in a community or a discord server of like-minded people rather than circulating, just because there were some pretty harsh things said.

I'd love to reach out more and make friends in this community, but I'm still new here and already feel very once bitten and twice shy. I've had a few harsh messages in my inbox from people saying they hate my interpretations and dread the fandom content I create (even when it's properly tagged and kept out of main tags in some cases), and... it just comes full circle I guess.

Even though my art may not be palpable to some folks, I'm okay with that. Sometimes fandom's just like that when you go against the grain. Still, it's certainly Something tm to see so much hate for a canon event (and bashing towards artists, analysists, and writers who take that event at face value) when it's one of my favorite plot points due to how much character depth and complexity it adds.

Every fandom has its fights and ship wars and hated tropes, sadly. There are story events that are not to some people's tastes and that's okay. I just wish the idea of squicks would resurface rather than so many things being seen as morally reprehensible, as I think it really stifles the ability to connect with people and experience the beauty and variety you get through having many points of view.

I guess at its core, it hurts because my dream is to listen to someone gush to me about something they're passionate about even if I don't personally know much or really like that thing, and it makes me sad that I saw such a surge of people thanking OP for their post and how they also agree that X interpretations are unwanted in the fandom in general. It's one of those things that make you wonder how many of the friends you do have would dump you if they find out you like X (which was not dead dove in my mind, but a plot point that depicted a character making cruel choices). I suppose that's how you weed out fake friends, but it's a doozy.

I'll do my part to make my corner of the fandom fun for me, even if I make unpopular content, as it holds value to me even if many others dislike it. To close, I'd just like to say I hope others will think about the words they're using, what group of people they hurt by their word choice, the fact that content is generally shared for free and you can turn away and filter if it's not for you, and I hope we'll have a warmer community someday <3

Apologies for the long post, and thanks. Seeing so much venom towards the imperfect characters I'm passionate about really caught me off guard and I needed to put it into words so I can sleep.

Wishing you and anyone who creates content that goes against the grain well, and I hope art lovers and fic lovers and analysis lovers who would love your content will someday find you!

.

[necros-writing-stuff]

What are ED blogs? Just curious, never heard term before

Eating Disorder blogs. I'll put more explanation below the cut just in case someone who finds it triggering hasn't blocked the tag I use yet.

These blogs often have stuff in their bios such as "gw" (goal weight) and "cw" (current weight), as well as other incremental goals they plan on reaching. I naturally end up seeing these when I check for ages.

Other names the community goes by includes pro-ana and thinspo.

Now, I usually do not share personal details here - especially not in detail, but I'm feeling like sharing today. But I have an ED. I have a mix between ARFID and anorexia, however both are managed and I have no issue with them. Yet, their content can still be triggering.

I was lucky never to be in any ED communities that actively promote not eating or purging, both of which are extremely harmful. But to those that are in them, they act like cults. They make any who criticise them out of concern villains and preach that they're doing nothing wrong. Or, they know what they're doing is wrong (please note that a lot of them are minors, too), and continue to ignore rightfully or attack concerned people and stick with not seeking help for a mental illness known to be extremely fatal when left untreated.

Some of the shit you see from these blogs is abhorrent. I've seen so much bullying. They'll attack others of the community for being above certain weights - even when photos of said person show them to be extremely thin as-is. God help you if your BMI is in the green, and may all God's ever help you if your BMI is on the higher side. They're vicious. They can't let people be happy as they are. When they aren't bullying, they're love bombing the shit out of their star little pupils. Again, cult-like.

I really do implore that anyone who comes across these blogs block them. Maybe even report depending on what you see - if you are mentally well enough to even look.

If you're in this community I know you likely stay because you think it's the only place that accepts you as you are. But they are harming you. Please, reach out to any professionals you can, if you can, or any authority figure you trust. Like I said, I have EDs. I know how hard it is to recover and to keep on that path. But it's so so worth it man. Don't risk major health complications over your looks of all things. Any person worth their salt doesn't give a shit about how much you weigh so long as you're not killing yourself. It's those that do that are the issue.

I would like to remind any reading this: don't come to me for help. I don't know how to help you. I'm just a smut writer, and you will trigger me. Don't fucking vent in my ask box about your EDs. Don't be an asshole. I know you want support, but I'm a stranger on my own road to recovery. I'm not the person you're looking for and I will block you. There are communities that are open to help. Please, go find them.

[apocalypseornaw]

Warm Up

You tend to run cold at night. Dean offers to help.

For the square "First kiss" on @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo. This is 100% fluff

You loved the bunker. Having one place to call home and come back to was the best feeling but there was no denying some nights you just couldn't get warm. The heat worked well enough and the boys never complained so you just chalked it up to only being you.

It was the middle of January so that meant you were curled wearing thick socks, a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve henley but you were still cold. The boys had already went to bed so you wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to venture to the kitchen in search of tea or coffee to warm you up.

You stepped into the darkened room and jumped despite yourself when Dean said "What are you doing up?" You flicked the light on to reveal him sitting at the table nursing a beer with a slight smirk on his face. He was wearing a white t-shirt and his hotdog sleep pants. "I'm just getting some tea" you replied but he looked at your blanket with a raised eyebrow "Heat not working in your room?" You shrugged walking over to the cabinet where the tea and cups were "Just can't seem to get warm"

He remained silent while you went about starting the tea kettle and fixing your tea bag in your mug. "Do you know where the honey is?" You asked without turning but was surprised when he reached over your head to one of the upper cabinets. You glanced up at him and could feel your face threatening to warm at the close proximity especially when you realized you'd turned into him but the warmth from his body was radiating even through the blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

"Thanks" you muttered when he handled you the vial of honey. "You're welcome" he smiled then cut his eyes at your blanket "Can I?" You saw it had slipped down but hadn't realized it so you nodded. He gently pulled the blanket back up around your shoulders tucking it around. "You're really warm" you blurted out and kicked yourself when a grin spread across his face.  "Well I've been called hot but somehow you calling me warm feels like a bigger compliment"

The sound of the kettle whistling made you turn back around. You fixed your tea to your liking trying to ignore Dean's presence at your back. When you started to walk out he grabbed your arm "Why don't you take my room for tonight? We'll check the heat in your room tomorrow" you shook your head "I'm not running you out of your room Dean" "And I'm going to bed knowing you're cold" he retorted so without even thinking before you spoke yet again you offered "Why don't I just sleep in there with you?"

When the words hit your ears you tried to backtrack. While it was true you'd had a thing for Dean for some time and even true the two of you had shared sleeping quarters he'd never shown more than a friend level of interest in you although your crush had seemed to amp up since moving into the bunker. He stopped your rambling by putting a hand up. "Sounds good to me. We can both get a good night's sleep and I promise to be a gentleman"  he turned the light off then reached out to make sure your blanket was tucked firmly "Come on you little burrito. Let's see if we can thaw you out"

------

You followed Dean into his room sipping on the tea and hoping he couldn't hear your heart in your ears. He stopped inside and scratched at the back of his neck "Um which side do you normally sleep on?" "Doesn't matter to me" you all but whispered. He nodded then motioned to the bed "in that case you take the left side it's directly under the vent"

You walked over to that side and set your cup down then looked back at him to see he was already climbing under his blanket and looking at you expectantly "Do you want to just cover with your blanket then I'll add mine on top of yours?" You nodded and slowly climbed into the bed and got your blanket straightened over you and him.

Dean was sitting halfway up and was smiling slightly "What?" You asked suddenly self conscious but he simply shook his head "You know you're cute when you're nervous" "I'm not nervous" you replied a little too quickly.

"Right" he drawled pulling his blanket over you as well before laying down next to you. You stared up in those green eyes and felt a shiver run through you that was only partly due to the cold. He studied you for a second before saying "Um I can sleep closer to you. If you want I mean. It'll warm you up?" You knew you should just say thanks but not thanks yet when your mouth started moving it instead said "Sure"

He nodded and said "turn over on your side" you did as he said and felt him scoot up behind you, your back pressed against his chest. He slid an arm around your waist to pull you closer then spoke softly into your ear "Is this ok?" You didn't really trust your voice at the moment so you nodded, barely getting out "Yeah it's fine" "Good. Get some sleep" you figured it would be a case of easier said than done but the warmth of Dean that close lulled you right to sleep

------

You woke up the next morning still in the same position you'd fell asleep in. You could feel Dean's breath on the back of your neck and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. If you were being honest you could lay there forever and be content but a knock at the door pulled your attention to it and made Dean stir behind you "What?" He called out and you heard Sam's voice "Have you seen Y/N? She's not in her room but her car's still here"

He chuckled and leaned up to whisper in your ear "Should I tell him you're in here or make him keep looking?" You shook your head with a smile and spoke loudly enough Sam could hear "I'm in here Sam" "Oh um I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm gonna go start some breakfast" you could hear his footfalls as he quickly retreated down the hall despite you trying to stop him by calling him back to clear up the confusion.

You realized the other half of the bed was shaking so you turned to see Dean was laughing that hard. "It's not funny!" You laughed and he shrugged "Kind of funny, especially considering the reason I was up late was thinking over how to ask you out" you dropped any semblance of a smile as you went to climb out the bed only to be dragged back by a set of strong arms.

"Are you make fun of me Dean?" You asked glaring up at him as best as you could given the fact that your heart felt like it may burst from your current position.  He shook his head with an earnest smile " I've been trying to figure out a way then I figured how better than to save you from hypothermia?" You rolled your eyes at the hypothermia comment but let his words sink in.

"Ok. On two conditions" you said after a moment and he raised his eyes to look at you "Which are?" "I can sleep in here on cold nights" "of course" "and you have got to kiss me before we get out this bed. I mean I want to know what I'm signing up for and if a man can get your motor running from a kiss you know when sex comes into the equation it'll be good"

He seemed partially amused and partially challenged by your words. He nodded then leaned down to gently brush his lips against yours in a lingering kiss. You deepened the kiss by tugging him closer. When you licked into his mouth rolling your tongue against his he let out a groan and turned over onto his back pulling you on top of him. His large hands held you in place as he kissed down your jaw and left a trail of open mouth kisses across your neck.

When the two of you pulled away from each other you were both a bit breathless. "So does this mean we're trying this whole thing?" He asked and you nodded "If that first kiss is any indication we should've been trying this thing"

Dean tag: @akshi8278

@girl-next-door-writes

[madatobiweek2019-2021]

Submission from PeacefulDiscord

Back To Spots

“Are you sure this is a good idea?,” Madara stared at his idiot friend incredulously. “If we die in here, I’m going to kill you Hashirama.”

Hashirama paused his snooping, turning away from the test tubes balancing precariously in his hands. He set them down on the table, a smidge too close to the edge if you asked Madara but whatever. That was Hashirama’s problem when Tobirama saw how displaced everything was. Brown eyes peered woefully at him, tearfully vehement as the other man pouted, though ineffective with the messy state Hashirama was in. Scraps of parchment paper were stuck in his hair, ink streaking across his cheek and speckling his fingers.

Madara crinkled his nose, chucking a handkerchief into Hashirama’s face.

Hashirama beamed, rubbing the cloth against his cheek and smearing the ink more. “I don’t think it will be that bad Madara. Tobirama has a lot of protective seals around his lab to keep it safe!”

“Seals that you’ve no problem getting around!”

It was worrisome really, as foolish as Hashirama was, being related to Tobirama and married to Mito had left him with many chances to learn basic skills. While he could not fully understand the way seals functioned or how to lay them, he knew much too well how to disable some. Some like the ones Tobirama had around his lab.

Not to mention his willingness to disable them.

“Now Madara—,” Hashirama began, shoving the napkin into his pocket before snatching up another scroll that looked newer and striking through yet another one of Tobirama’s protective seals.

“See! Like that! You even took down the damn wall with your Mokuton just to get in here! If we don’t die because of whatever disasters are in here then we will die at your brother’s hands!”

Madara shuddered. The last time he aggravated the younger man he’d found himself on the receiving end on some awful seal that summoned nearby birds and critters to him, drawing them to burrow and nest in his hair. Villagers had flocked around him, curious and far too amused, tittering behind hands as they watched the animals lay siege to Madara’s hair knowing he was too busy running away to scream at them. His hair was ruined, bitten off and tangled so horribly that he had to chop the strands to a length he hadn’t had since being twelve years old.

He can already hear the sharp snap of the younger man’s voice— “Don’t go in my lab without me!"— as if he were standing right there.

"It’s important! He’s been in here for weeks—" Hashirama exclaimed, puppy dog eyes on full force.

"Three days! He was in here for three days and he actually came out to eat and take naps—”

“—and who knows what he’s been getting up to! He could be getting hurt or devising something awful—”

“He’s been making food preserving seals for the past month!”

“Do you remember the chain-reacting explosive tags? The undead jutsu? He said he was working on enhanced storage seals!”

Madara froze, mouth opened to yell, and clamped his lips shut. Tobirama did have a way of spiraling away from his original intentions— it wouldn’t hurt to just look to make sure nothing was too….deviated.

“Fine,” he huffed. “But if anything happens I’m chopping your hair off!”

Hashirama squeaked, hands coming up to clutch at his hair. And knocking over the test tubes, sending them careening to the floor with a resounding shatter. Madara watched in horror as the liquids met the black lines of a seal Hashirama had left on the floor— to be analyzed with Mito, he said— and lit them. Colored smoke filled the air and Madara could hear the ground breaking apart moments before Hashirama used Mokuton to send them upwards away from the mess. With a quick wind jutsu, weaker than usual he noticed as his vision swam, Madara sent the smoke into the vent system Tobirama had incorporated early on in case of explosions or dangerous fumes.

Madara rubbed his eyes, carefully lowering himself to the ground. His body was aching— much like the summer over a decade ago when he’d grown almost half a foot in what felt like a few short nights. Coughing, he looked up to see how his friend fared and shrieked.

Sitting in front of him, rubbing his eyes, was Hashirama. But a twelve year old Hashirama. With too big clothes and that godforsaken bowl cut.

“What the fuck! Hashirama, you're—”

“Oh my god, Madara you—”

Madara glanced at his hands. His smaller than before, less calloused hands. “We’re kids again. What the fuck? How? Hashirama!”

He snarled, throwing himself forward to tackle the other man, no, boy, to the ground. “The fuck did you do Senju?!”

“I don’t know— ow! Madara! Don’t, not the face!”

“I'll end you!”

———————————————————-

Half an hour and a semi brutal spar that resulted in Hashirama’s entire face being painted in ink later and both boys were sitting sullenly in the debris they had made of the once pristine lab.

“Tobi’s gonna kill is,” Hashirama sniffled, tears cutting through the black. “I won’t even get to see what my baby looks like.”

“If they’re lucky, nothing like you,” Madara sneered, pulling at the sticky glue-like substance that he’d tumbled into during the fight, snarling angrily as his sleeves still stuck together.

He was surprised his clothes even stayed on, they were so big, but the ties must have worked for something. Hashirama had already wrapped himself up in the excess cloth and tied it off as tightly as he could with his obi and other straps of fabric that he tore from his haori. Madara, on the other hand, would just have to wait.

He tugged at his sleeves again, cursing the glue and Hashirama.

“Ah Madara, don’t be mean!” The brunette sobbed. “My baby would be cute! Even if they looked like me!”

Madara opened his mouth to respond— wanted to sneer that it was good Hashirama knew he wasn’t attractive— but froze as the door opened at just that moment. Red eyes peered distractedly over a thick book, widening as they caught onto the state of the lab. With careful movements, Tobirama lowered the book and set it down, hand reaching for his sword.

“Anija. Madara. What did you do?” He snarled low in his throat, biting through every word like a separate sentence.

The boys blanched, glancing to each other and then shunshinning to the window only for Tobirama to slam his hand against the wall, a seal stretching across the metal to form a barrier they couldn’t get through.

“It was an accident!” Hashirama wailed, gasping through his crocodile tears. “I-am-so so-rry o-tou-to.”

He ran over and clutched at Tobirama’s yukata, burying his messy face into it. “I’m such a bad brother!”

“Anija! Stop that! You’re dirtying my— get off you idiot!”

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe and—!”

“By destroying my lab?” Tobirama shoved at Hashirama, stumbling when the boy’s grip didn’t let up. “Damn it, you poisonous vine, let go!”

“Tobi—!”

“I will get Mito-nee in here so fast—”

Hashirama yelped, letting go with a heavy pout. “You don’t have to be like thaaaat,” he whined, scuffing his foot on the ground. “That’s a really low blow, Tobi. How could you do that to your precious brother—”

“After he destroyed my lab and turned he and his idiot friend back into children?” Tobirama snarked, leveling both of them with a sharp glare. “I’ve no idea.”

Madara shuffled guiltily, wincing as he took in the mess they made.

“We can clean it up!” He offered quickly. Hashirama squawked, shaking his head.

“Oh?” Tobirama quirked a brow. “Properly?”

Madara could feel Tobirama’s chakra rise and fall, unsteady and bothered like a riptide, dragging him closer to anger and not letting him calm down, and nodded hastily. Hashirama became frantic in his head shaking, panicked as he looked at the mess miserably,

“Absolutely. No problem. It’ll take an hour. Tops!” Madara promised, grinning a touch sheepishly even as he tossed his friend a glare. “I understand why you’re upset— we shouldn’t have invaded your privacy and we certainly shouldn’t have made such a mess of things. We were concerned but we should have respected your boundaries. You’ve my sincerest apologies Tobirama.”

Tobirama’s gaze softened and he huffed out a breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

“It’s fine. You haven’t gotten into anything too important. We now need to figure out what you two have done and fix it. None of my seals were meant to do this.”

Hashirama slumped in relief, “Oh thank god, I hate cleaning— what?”

———————————————————

“Oh wow, I haven’t seen Hashirama look that awful in years," Touka breathed out in wonderment. ”I almost forgot he was such an ugly bastard.“

"Touka-nee, you’re supposed to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t destroy anything, not keep an eye on his confidence to just destroy it,” Tobirama sighed over his brother’s wailing. Then, speaking over the sound of Madara pummeling his brother, asked, “Mito-nee, will you be able to handle the Hokage’s duties in your state?”

His sister-in-law and he were able to deduce that the jutsu, since many had overlapped and were then combined by the liquid soaking through the papers and smudging the inks, would eventually wear off on its own, a few days at most given the seals were not meant for major bends in time and space. And, even without that, it would, or at least should, not take them too long to devise a remedy.

But that was for tomorrow. Now, they were much too tired and irritable.

“My pregnant state, Tobirama?” Mito arched a brow. “You’d be amazed at what I can handle in this state, brother-in-law. The bigger concern is will you be able to handle Madara while Izuna is away?”

Tobirama looked at the two boys now disguised as other, unidentifiable children. Too many people remembered them as children or at least would recognize their features. With their weaker abilities it was best to keep them hidden and separated (they couldn’t last too long without bickering and yelling each other’s name in rage, like the complete idiots they were) to not give away the precarious situation the Village had now found itself in. The jutsu that changed Madara’s haír to a soft, pale blue, gently wishing about his face and skin to an olive tone did nothing to hide the fire in his chakra boiling beneath.

A new student from a distant place— Cloud Country perhaps— that was the story they would go by. A student adopted from parents Tobirama had saved.

The younger man felt a sudden tiredness fill his bones watching Madara blow flames at Hashirama’s shoulder length purple hair only to be slapped at by many flowers that erupted quite spontaneously from the wood paneling on the wall.

This would be a long few days if they couldn’t undo the mess that was made of Tobirama’s work. 

“Izuna may find himself rather alone if he doesn’t hurry back,” he rubbed between his eyes, hand glowing green to chase away the headache. “Who knows? He might thank me.”

He ignored the smirks on his cousin and sister-in-law’s faces, snatching Madara by the wrist and all but hauling him out of Hashirama’s home  to his own. Madara glared and very pointedly took his hand away to instead clasp Tobirama’s in his own, twining their fingers together and smiling triumphantly when Tobirama did nothing but sigh.

Oh yes, it’d be a long few days indeed.

———————————————————

The walk home had been silent, the streets much too empty for distraction and they were inside Tobirama’s home before he could properly gather himself. He could admire the timing, if anything. Just yesterday his house had been strewn with far too many papers and even some dust, given the time he spent in the office or his lab instead. Messes from ruined meals had been spattered across his kitchen and his dirty laundry pile had consisted of all of his clothes save for the set on his back. That was the breaking point, sending him into the cleaning frenzy that lasted clear into early morning, until every corner was cleaned to pristine, his laundry washed, dried, and packed neatly away. It was the most presentable and welcoming his home had ever been and the first time Madara, child or not, would actually step past the threshold.

He resolved to give himself a silent pat on the back, watching carefully as Madara took everything from the bookshelves to the altar in, knowing those hawk-like eyes were looking for dust as his clean freakishness often had him doing and finding none.

The tension seeped from Madara’s shoulders and he carefully took off his shoes, setting them neatly aside as he wandered furthered in, already growing comfortable in Tobirama’s small space. At least, if anything, Tobirama could rest knowing he had made a good impression, hoping it would serve him well when the jutsu finally wore off.

“You know,” Madara began over his bowl of noodles, slurping the noodles gracelessly. “I don’t think your brother would’ve wanted me to come stay with you if he knew I was courting you.”

“You’re a child at the moment— that’s hardly relevant right now,” still Tobirama felt his face warm and he swallowed some of his food quickly to disguise it. What they had while Madara was an adult was— nice. A small secret for just the two of them while they got comfortable with each other.

Just the other day he and the older man had a picnic besides a lake closer to the edges of Konoha, waded deep and relaxed beneath the stars— quiet because they hadn’t needed any words to enjoy just being with each other. It was smiles upon eye contact, soft laughs at little quirks. Thinking of slightly chapped, languid lips against his own, gentle like the brush of fingers on something so invaluably precious and irreplaceable, the feel of coarse hair twisting in his hands and just the comfort of a body pressed to his to block the chill of night air made something warm build in his chest and spread to his cheeks.

It wasn’t so nice a memory to think about when his beau was a mere twelve years old to his twenty-eight however.

Madara set his bowl down carefully. “Does it bother you?”

“Hm?” Tobirama wasn’t used to the other man, boy, being so pensive. He put his scroll down and met Madara’s eyes, concerned.

“Does it bother you to be with me?” Madara clarified, clearing his throat as he sat up straight. “I know with our past, the rumors, and our temperaments— they don’t exactly make for an ideal relationship but…”

Tobirama interrupted. “But yet I have not rejected you or your gifts,” he frowned. “Madara, my only problem before was that— well, I had wanted to keep things private for a bit and have time for us before Anija started planning a wedding and now, well you’re a child now,” he scrunched his nose in disgust, giving Madara a pointed look when the boy stared at him with a fondness much too heady and mature for his age. “It’s best not to think of my attraction to you given the circumstances.”

Madara flushed, looking away quickly. “Ah right.” He paused for a long moment before a cheeky grin pulled at his lips. “I suppose I won’t be allowed to sleep in your room then?”

Tobirama scowled, throwing cold tea into Madara’s face, relishing, privately, the crack of the boy’s voice, so much more high pitched than how Tobirama knew it to be.

———————————————————

“You can’t do that Shouta,” Tobirama hissed between gritted teeth. It was only the second day and he was ready to throw Madara, now going by Shouta, into the deepest, roughest river he could find.

Drawing a deep breath to calm himself, he willed water from the air to douse the flames engulfing the now terrified shopkeeper’s stall.

“He was flirting—” Madara bristled, crossing his arms. “He deserved it!”

Tobirama huffed, apologizing quickly to the shopkeeper and pulling Madara away. “He asked where I got my kimono—”

“Because he was admiring the way it fits you!”

Tobirama cringed. Madara’s voice as an adult never, not once no matter how much he was yelling, ever got so shrill. He would need to invest in earplugs at this rate. Glancing around discreetly, he shoved Madara around the corner, away from prying eyes and dropped to a crouch so they could talk face to face.

“Because he liked the fabric and wanted some pieces made for his daughter! You are completely insufferable, even as a child!” Tobirama snapped.

“I’m protecting your virtue! Hashirama said you never realized when people were interested. And that shopkeeper was interested. I know he was!” Madara protested angrily, before turning away and crossing his arms, grumbling curses under his breath.

Rubbing at his nose— it was a wonder the shape hadn’t changed after all the times his frustration had him irritating it— he sighed explosively before swallowing a quick, calming breath. Younger Madara lacked maturity and sense apparently so Tobirama needed to gain patience.

“Madara, you trust me, correct?” he asked softly.

Madara turned back to him curiously. “Of course.”

“So why would anyone showing interest in me be a reason to get so angry unless you thought I would leave my courtship with you for them? That is a lack of trust towards me Madara,” Tobirama explained. He’d seen too many people treat their partners in such a manner and he detested it. He wanted to be able to be himself without worrying how others would perceive him— he had lived much too long with others in mind.

Madara fiddled at the braided bangs Tobirama had put his hair into, pinky finger touching his lip. 

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” he whispered. “I just…don’t like it.”

Tobirama smiled softly. Madara, no matter his age, was always much too protective. He couldn’t fault him though. Not now.

“Let’s go, I have to get some shopping done. I think you already finished all the food I had in the house.”

Madara blushed fiercely, ducking his head so his hair fell in front of his face though he still took Tobirama’s hand in his.

“You said I could have whatever I wanted!” Madara’s free hand was back by his lips again.

“Ah right. Whatever, everything. I see how you could get the words confused,” Tobirama ribbed gently, easily pushing down Madara’s hand so the boy wouldn’t bite his nails. “That’s a bad habit, don’t do that.”

As they passed the still horrified shopkeeper, Madara stood upright, pout replaced with a haughty sneer. “You talking to him won’t change anything. He’s mine.”

Tobirama flushed, letting out an awkward laugh as the other villagers eyed him in curious amusement.

“New student,” he grimaced through an explanation. “You know how they are.”

“We know how they are with you Tobirama-sama!” Someone called out, drawing more chuckles from the crowd.

“He’s so cute!” A lady smiled, gently patting Madara’s head as she passed by. “If only people closer to our age were like this, hmm, Tobirama-sama?”

Madara preened under the attention, tugging Tobirama closer and intertwining their fingers, much to the growing entertainment of the entire marketplace. Tobirama thanked every kami for his happuri, casually activating the seal on the side to cool his flaming skin.

If he let Hiruzen test his monkey summon on Madara later that day, no one would have to know (something that was more terrifying without the ability to use his sharingan anymore, having been sent back to an age where he did not have them).

Not that that stopped Madara from yelling at anyone that showed a smidgeon of too much interest in Tobirama to “get their own boyfriend”.  ———————————————————

“Madara, you needn’t carry everything,” Tobirama sighed, watching fondly as the boy shifted the basket and bags about in his arms, stumbling along as they made their way back to Tobirama’s home. “I am perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.”

It was only the fourth day of Madara’s stay and they’d run out of groceries again. Especially the few sweets he had bought just for Madara. Those were gone within moments.

Madara squawked suddenly, one leg tripping over the other, and went sprawling to the ground. With a quick shunshin, Tobirama dropped a scroll onto the dirt to catch all the groceries, letting his free hand shoot out to grab Madara and pull him upright. Straightening the young boy’s collar, he snatched up the now rolled scroll and tucked it into his pocket.

“Like I said, perfectly capable of carrying my groceries,” he drawled. Catching sight of Madara’s embarrassed pout— and oh, he made that exact expression as an adult too!— hair moving forward to hide his face again, Tobirama pushed the unruly strands back with an indulgent smile. “How about we get some dango?”

The word koibito hovered on the tip of his tongue but he bit it back. He was getting rather impatient waiting on this jutsu to let up.

He ignored the flicker of ire and almost-sadness, grinning as Madara’s face lit up. If anything, he was given quite the ideal opportunity to know his suitor. He could enjoy it while it lasted.

———————————————————

“Save me,” Mito snarled as soon as he and Madara stepped through the door. Her face was splotchy and she seemed less composed than ever. “Before I kill your brother.”

Tobirama blinked, eyes searching, landing on his brother sat in the corner and facing the wall. “Mito-nee—”

“Because Hashirama doesn’t realize being in his childhood body doesn’t mean he can act like a child. He keeps making messes and being too loud and, Hashirama if I hear you wailing one more time—”

“Breathe Aneue,” Tobirama held his hands up placatingly.

Mito heaved a breath, pushing her hair behind her ear before resting her hands on her belly. Her eyes were watering when she looked back at Tobirama. “We need to work on the jutsu Tobirama. I can't— with the Hokage duties and watching Hashirama and feeling sick all the time—”

Tobirama nodded. “Go sit, Aneue. Madara—”

“I can make you some tea, Mito-hime,” the boy said, bowing quickly and heading to the kitchen. “Ginger maybe? Or chamomile?”

Mito stared at him in wonderment. “How—I thought he’d be like Hashirama. I was sure of it. Has he been well-behaved this entire week?”

Tobirama smiled sheepishly. “More or less.” He frowned, sending a hard look to the boy all but wilted over himself. “Has Anija been giving you a lot of trouble?”

“Not really—” she glanced at the boy. “Hashirama, can you be a dear and help Madara in the kitchen please?”

Hashirama sprang from his seat, wiping his eyes and nodding hurriedly. “Of course Mito-!”

The rest of the sentence was lost as he scurried away.

“I just need my husband, Tobirama. Not this child who can’t keep his hands off my belly or food in his mouth. I— he’s not even being bad! Not really, just—”

“Overwhelming?”

Mito gave a small nod, looking horribly miserable.

“He was like that as a child. He only learned more restraint as an adult when he realized he kept accidentally hurting others in his enthusiasm,” Tobirama rolled his eyes, heart feeling a little too fond given the grievances his brother had put him through. Once, Hashirama had fractured his ribs with a hug. He’d hoped, however, that Hashirama would not fall back on childhood habits.

He should’ve seen it though— Madara had after all. The flailing, the quirky habits, threatening with fire— wait no, he did that as an adult— but everything else was so painstakingly innocent. Tobirama should’ve really kept a closer watch on Hashirama.

“I’ve been working on the jutsu, a little while longer and I believe I will be able to undo everything,” he reassured.

Mito sighed in relief, pulling Tobirama into a hug as best as she could around the swell of her stomach. Tobirama let her hold onto him for a few long moments, talking softly of the progress he made with the seals and making note of her suggestions, before coaxing her into the kitchen to eat.

And let Mito freeze, hiding his smile at her surprise. Dishes were neatly laid across the table, a cup of steaming tea covered with a small plate and placed by Mito’s seat. Madara grinned at them from beside the stove, turning at a pot.

“I’m making ramen! I know it’s nothing fancy but you seemed stressed and tired so I thought you might want something easier to eat so you can go rest sooner.”

Mito blinked. Settled herself into her seat and took a sip of her tea, humming appreciatively. “I didn’t even remember having those spices.”

“You didn’t,” Madara frowned. “I don’t know what the hell you two are eating but without these,” he gestured to the various small bottles he had set on the counter, “it can’t be anything good. I sent Hashi to Tobi’s. I made him buy these earlier.”

Hashirama grinned, swinging his feet from where he sat atop the counter. “See! I helped! I even set the table!”

He looked at Mito hopefully and she smiled. “Thank you Hashirama. Thank you Madara.”

Both boys beamed proudly though Madara quickly ducked behind his hair, adorably bashful. “It’s very simple. I hope you find it as pleasing as the effort.”

Mito smiled encouragingly, taking the pot from Madara and helping share it into the bowls. “I am certain it is delightful Madara.”

Madara blushed a bit brighter, settling quickly in front of his own bowl.

“Itadakimasu!”

Tobirama grinned, making sure to limit his own portion as he watched his brother’s and sister-in-law’s eyes open with surprise, noises of appreciation slipping past their lips as they dug in with a little more vigor than would be polite. Mito and Hashirama were sure to want seconds. Maybe even thirds.

Madara’s eyes darted to Tobirama’s bowl and he looked up with confusion, eyes silently asking if Tobirama were okay. Smiling gently, Tobirama glanced at their other two companions before dropping Madara a wink.

It was okay. He’d get Madara to cook for him later.

———————————————————

“I uh want to go look for berries at the river! From over there!” Madara called out awkwardly, shuffling from one foot to the other.

Hashirama looked up from the berries he and Tobirama were picking. He looked bemused for all of two seconds before his lips spread in a wicked grin that he hid behind his basket. “Okay!”

Tobirama, too busy separating the berries (and perhaps sneaking a few to eat) just nodded distractedly, only looking up when Hashirama stood up a few minutes later. “Anija?”

“Let’s go look at the river too, Tobi!”

Rolling his eyes, Tobirama let himself be pulled down the path Madara took, frowning when he heard something like a trickle of water when usually the river was silent during these times of low-tide. As they neared, he could just faintly make out Madara’s hair and, just before he could call out, watched Hashirama throw himself out of the bushes right behind the other boy.

Madara’s back went ramrod straight.

“Still can’t go when someone’s behind you?” Hashirama laughed loudly, finger pointing.

Madara whirled around just as Tobirama stepped through the bushes, face cherry red and mouth open to scream at Hashirama. Upon seeing Tobirama, he burned even redder, looking for all the world humiliated and betrayed as he hissed at Hashirama to shut up.

And suddenly so many other things made sense. Madara’s insistence to wait until Tobirama was far too distracted or not even in the house to use the restroom, mumbled excuses of needing privacy to go do something like clean or having to water plants of all things (“better for him to get the job done correctly”) keeping the bathroom door firmly locked even though Tobirama had not once known him to be body shy. Hell, just that morning Madara thought it appropriate to walk around the house with nothing but a small towel wrapped about his waist.

Madara was shy to use the bathroom around…anyone apparently. Tobirama bit back a laugh, frowning instead when he saw Madara hide more behind his hair, the tip of his nose reddening as he curled as much into himself as he could.

Tobirama could feel the headache coming. Why did he think agreeing to watch over both of them was a good idea? Oh right, so Mito could rest and Touka wouldn’t feel tempted to commit treason by killing one of the two brats. Especially given the fiasco that happened yesterday when Touka was in his shoes so he and Mito could work on the seal more.

He really was too kind for his own good.

“Anija!” Tobirama snapped. “Stop wasting time bothering Madara.”

“But Tobi—” Hashirama whined. “I—”

“We are going to pick berries at the river mouth—Madara already has this area covered.”

That would put them far off out each other’s sight so Madara could have his privacy and still be close enough for Tobirama to come if anything were to happen. He dragged his brother away without another word, missing the besotted and grateful look Madara shot him.

It wasn’t too long until Madara joined them again, flicking his hands through a much too familiar sign and setting the edge of Hashirama’s clothing on fire. Shrieking, Hashirama took off upstream before Tobirama could douse him with water, passing the place Madara had been and diving beneath the river surface.

“I suppose that was fair,” Tobirama mused. “I don’t think he got hurt at least.”

Madara scuffed the ground with his shoe, voice soft when he responded.  “Yeah.”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. While I’m certainly surprised your bladder cooperated with your discomfort in quite the opposite manner than I would have expected—”

The boy flushed deeper. “No! I um yeah that’s odd but I um, I actually have something for you!”

“Oh?” Tobirama raised a brow. “Did you get something you were with Touka?”

Madara shook his head, determinedly looking at his shoes. “No I, I meant to give this to you earlier but then,” he waved his hand about awkwardly. “-all of this happened instead.”

Tobirama squinted, nose wrinkled. “Before you do that, did you wash your hands?”

The Uchiha squawked. “Of course I did! I’m not your brother! Stupid Senju—!” He shoved a small box in Tobirama’s hands as he continued his tirade against the Senju Clan.

Ignoring him— Tobirama had gotten quite good at that even before they began courting— he opened the box carefully and stilled. Inside was a small chain with a circular tanzanite pendant, a silver dragon figurine curled around one edge, its tail curling up to connect the pendant to the chain, and a silver leopard figurine stretched along the opposite edge. Their eyes were little red gems, pyrope, and almost exactly the shape and shade of his eyes. The only difference was the trace of black cutting through the red, carving Madara’s mangekyou into the dragon’s eyes.

Tobirama felt his breath catch.

“Madara—”

“You like both those animals! And, and you said I'm— that having me around is like having you’re own personal dragon so I…” his voice fell to little over a whisper. “I had that made for you. So it’s like I’m always around, like we’re always together.”

And now Tobirama’s eyes were watering, happy tears, and wasn’t that an idea. After so much grief, after never once even humoring such an absurdity as crying happily like his brother, Tobirama was well on the verge of doing the same.

Falling to his knees, he pulled the Uchiha into his arms, habit leading him to tuck his face against Madara’s hair. “I find myself really wishing you weren’t a child right now.”

Madara stroked a hand through Tobi’s hair, returning the hug tightly with a disgruntled pout. “Me too. This is fucking annoying. I want to kiss your pretty face, damn. Why’s that so much to ask for?”

“What!”

Hashirama stood gaping behind them, horror and anger twisting his features. “You’re dating my brother?”

“Anija—” Tobirama sighed, hand going right for the bridge of his nose.

“No!” Hashirama yelled, stomping his foot, childishly if not for the Mokuton poking through the dirt. “No, you don’t get to say anything! You were supposed to tell me before— don’t bother explaining or, or giving excuses now! I forbid it!”

Tobirama reeled back in shock. Not once, not even in the worse of Hashirama’s anger, had he ever tried to silence Tobirama.

“What?" Madara growled. "You what?”

Hashirama snarled. “I forbid you from dating my brother.”

The plants and grass were growing, leaves and stems thickening, hardening, and coiling up towards Madara.

“You can’t do that!”

“I can! And I will! I know you! I know your habits—”

“My habits?”

“All that damn time— you can’t handle a long-term relationship! And I’m not letting you use my brother, you backstabbing—” Hashirama was shaking with rage. “You, you bastard!”

With a yell, he lunged towards Madara recklessly only to be thrown over the Uchiha’s shoulder. Madara kneeled onto Hashirama’s chest, wrapping a hand around his throat, body also trembling with fury.

Tobirama moved to separate them, hands grabbing at Madara’s shoulders.

“I love him!” Madara yelled. “I love him! And you don’t get a damn say in any of it!”

Hashirama stopped clawing at Madara’s hands and Tobirama’s own hands went slack. Madara spun to look at him, sharingan burning in his eyes. Something like desperation seemed to spin in the commas.

“You hear me? I love you.”

Perhaps with the best timing ever, the air filled with smoke, startling them all apart. Tobirama covered his eyes as a bright light danced between the wisps and tossed the scroll he’d kept packed with Hashirama’s and Madara’s clothes into the fog, right at the red eyes looking back at him. When it dissipated, a Madara, an adult Madara (thankfully somewhst properly dressed) was standing there, sharingan still spinning in his eyes as he stared at Tobirama. No words passed before the two men pressed their lips together, hands tangling in each other’s hair. Something wet trickled down their cheeks and Tobirama couldn’t tell if the tears were coming from his eyes or Madara’s.

“I love you, I love you,” Madara whispered between kisses. And Tobirama nodded as of to answer some unspoken question.

“You love him?” Hashirama whispered, eyes flooding with tears. He tugged a haori over his shoulders. “You love my baby brother? You’re not just— Oh. Oh Madara I thought you were— oh I’m so happy!”

They weren’t paying attention to Hashirama’s babbling though, too transfixed and overly emotional at the admission of a confession they had been denying themselves.

“I’ve missed you,” Tobirama murmured, pressing his forehead against Madara’s. “Don’t ever go in my lab without me again.”

Madara laughed shakily. “Never. I’m never going anywhere without you ever again." 

———————————————————

Omake:

Hashirama wailed, squirming against the chains and seals in vain to get away as Madara used his kama to shear his long brown locks down to the base of his scalp.

"I told you I’d chop your hair off, bastard!” Madara cackled. “Now stay still before I accidentally take your head off!”

“I can’t believe you disguised yourself as Mito!” Hashirama sobbed. “I can’t believe she and Tobirama helped you! Traitors!”

Madara just laughed louder and continued hacking at Hashirama’s hair.

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

The war between the two lovers

@belle82devart asked: Hello there, darling! Happy (early) New Years! I would love to know if you would maybe write a Cliff Unger x Reader fic where he is in his BT form and recognizes one of the people from his past (the reader)? There could maybe be some flashback angst or smut that leads to a very angsty reunion? Maybe he's tried to kill the reader before realizing who she is? ❤ I hope this isn't too much to ask for and I understand if it is. Thank you anyway for just viewing this ask! ❤❤❤

Warning: a few swear words, depiction of violence and war

Summary: Commander Y/n L/n runs with her group of young soldiers through the warzone city but what happens when she thinks of her lover that left before her?

Pairing: Cliff Unger x reader (military AU)

'Commander L/n fall back!' The shouts and wails of commands, requests, and cries of help from the bruised army men as they ran away from the incoming tank. Seeing her men, her team, her comrades she yells with the remaining air from her lungs 'Down, dames. Under the bridge.'

Looking at their leader and the underbelly on the bridge seeing they spy the prickled fence surrounding it. 'What are you waiting for? Dive down.'

The shaken men look down questioning their leader 'Ma'am, what if-' 'You want an invitation, soldier?!' With the tank nearing Y/n pushed them falling down on the barbed wire and under the bridge. Jumping down and huddling over each other Y/n and her team felt the tremendous power of the tank above them. Shaking the small stone bridge the pebbles falling at the sides. Looking back at her men she asks 'You alright? No wounds?' The men shake seeing the small frown on her dry lips. Seeing the noticeable shift in her action and stance they ask cautiously.

'Maybe the rest of the troops are well.' The youngest soldier of 23 years tells. Looking at her hopeful eyes she responded with an exhausted nod. 'Let's get moving, we can't stay here for long. Move out.'

'The view is nice.' Y/n responded as her eyes land on the small window seeing the valleys of hills decorated with wine yards with the sun shining down on the small mansion. 'It won't be like that for a while.' A voice that she loved to death provoked a scowl to her expression.

'Of course, if you think like that.' She turns to him seeing Cliff, her Cliff, laying on the bed covers over his scratched body with many hickeys. Letting her step drag he sees the small grin on his face his slowly gray hair depriving him of the scene in front of him. Damn that old hair.

Sitting next to him she felt his chapped lips on her hand giving greatly more affection she craved for. 'Let's go to the wine yard. I want to try their new black wine.' Y/n whispered as she pulled her hand away standing up trying to lure Cliff out of the bed.

'We can have a wine tasting right here.' He taps the plush white comfort. 'That's a given but I won't go outside.' Y/n replied still standing her ground. 'Alright then let's go taste some fermented grapes.'

'Let's go, boys, run.' Y/n yelled yet again at her boys as she watched the tired man prance in front of her 'Run faster, my Nana God rest her soul could run faster than you and still make some Rahat locum.' The man seemingly start to pick up their place as running through the murky ankle-high water hearing behind them screams and a loud 'They are here!' some soldiers turned their head as a horrified look settle on their bruised faces.

'Don't look back men. That's rule number one.' Y/n clarified seeing a shaky nod. Closing her eyes she steadies her mind focusing on the splashes of water in front of her and especially behind her. So much more than in front of her.

'I'm tired beyond measures.' Y/n groans as she entered her apartment with her boyfriend Cliff. 'Me too. Just want to read a book and fall asleep.' Cliff answers as he removes his coat. Y/n turns to him her brow arched in commotion 'I here thought that you were ready for an exercise, Captain Unger.' Cliff laughs at her temptation and responds in equal measure. 'Well, if you are talking about my most favorite exercise Commander L/n then maybe I have some just in case.'

'Commander, there isn't any ammo left. I'm done.' A soldier next to her screamed as he kneeled down behind the barricade. Watching her men putting the very last rounds she shouts 'Come on, men, what's our motto ?' The men shout in unions 'Adapt and overcome.'

As the last rounds rung out Y/n looks at her men tried with no hope abandoned. Hearing the footsteps approach Y/n grabs her knife holding it tightly in her hand. Her men copy her exchanging their empty guns for sharp blades. The enemies ran into their safe area pointing their guns to them and with an iron heart and iron blade, Y/n and her men attacked the overly powerful enemies fighting until the very demise.

'You promised that we would go together. You fucking promised.' Y/n shouted at her Cliff that made an earth-shattering decision. 'This isn't about us. It about the well-being of the rest, the civilians, the next generation. You know that.'

Y/n places her hand on his bag stopping him. 'But you promised.' she mumbled out as tears started to exit. 'This is bigger than us. If it's my fate to die I'm happy with that.' Hearing the D-word Y/n shots again 'What about our destiny to be together?!' Cliff sighs deeply 'We shouldn't have been together, you know that.'

With more tears she scarcely responds 'I-I-I do-don't have words... for this.' Cliff looks at her one last time he exits the house grabbing his keys from the nearby bowl.

Trying to stop the wails Y/n looks at the last thing Cliff touched not her, not his lover but the plastic bowl. Something he never did. 'Stupid bowl.' looking down she sees a small metal piece twinkling. Picking it up she sees the long band of metal beads and at the end the rectangle plaque.

'You idiot.'

Opening her eyes Y/n sees the gray sky above her. Standing gradually up she feels the sluggish sand under her palm. What! Looking at her surroundings she sees no one just harsh black hills and mountains. Strolling along the water she sees the empty area with still no one in sight. 'Who are you?' a gentle voice asks her as she cascades down a small hill on the woman's face a soft smile. 'I'm Y/n L/n. I was back in um, the city and a soldier knocked me on the head and I woke up here. I don't know how I got-' 'You are dead. That's why you are on this beach.' Y/n stares at the woman seeing the smile still sitting in her face 'Are you alright in the head? If that was true you shouldn't act like this...all relaxed.' The woman giggled nodding 'I am. I am just here to welcome new arrivals but trust me you are very much dead.' Walking past Y/n, Y/n continues asking 'Wait, but why- and you are gone.' she turns to see no one behind her.

Shaking off, Y/n starts to continue walking feeling a cold chill creeping up her spine. A gunshot rings out. Covering her head she looks at the high hills seeing a small group of guns-carrying people holding the gun in her direction making her stop in her tracks. As they walked closer she saw a tube departing from the man in the middle connected to the other surrounding him. 'What the-' 'State your name.' all of a sudden the very gun who fired at her was in front of her placed on her forehead feeling the warm metal. The man holding the gun with a mask covering his face. 'Y/n L/n.' As much as fear wanted to subdue her she couldn't do it, not now. 'What are you doing?' the man asks as she started to remove his mask. 'I don't know I just woke up before 10 minutes, I think. I just woke up he- Cliff!'

Y/n screamed in shock seeing her boyfriend's face. He looks at her in surprise. 'How do you know my name?' he asks again seeing the confused woman still holding the gun to her forehead. 'It's me Y/n, your Y/n... Commander L/n... I'm your girlfriend.' as she listed her name and nicknames he continued to be confused 'Respond honestly or I'll shoot.' knowing how much he is serious about it she takes her hand to her chest lowering slowly down 'I'm just gonna grab something it's not a gun, promise.'

He watches your hand dives in your shirt as you grabbed the metal necklace and pulling it over your head placing the entirety in her palm showing him 'You gave me that. The last time we saw each other.'

Cliff looks at the dog tag pulling the gun down and into his pocket as he grabs the necklace into his hand. Letting his fingers move across the metal indent looking once more at the woman in front of her.

Hearing her sobs he hears her voice breaking as she said 'I-I-I do-don't have words... for this.' Cliff looks at her one last time as he exits the house grabbing his keys from the nearby bowl as he puts his dog tag into the bowl in secrecy. Hoping that she will see it.

'Y/n.' Cliff looks at her as the sudden realization dawned on his face. 'Why are you here?' he asks as he yanks her into a familiar hug. 'You idiot, how could you leave me and die?!' Y/n lets her anger wash over her as she starts to hit him on his shoulders venting out her frustration. 'How dare you?' she asks again as the anger turns to saddens. Cliff looks at the sobbing woman being reminded of the last time he saw her in this same state. 'I'm sorry I regretted my decision every day and when I died somehow I forgot you-' Y/n looks up at him hitting him again 'How could you forget this face?!'

Cliff looks at her face seeing how much she stayed the same. His hands land in her cheeks as his head leaned down kissing her lips after the long-awaited moment. His lips softly moving against her savoring the feel and emotions received. Something he missed dearly, something that reminded him of home.

'Will you ever forgive me?' he asks as he watches her eyes, she nods 'Well, I don't have anywhere to go. Adapt and overcome.' 'Adapt and overcome.'

Hope you liked it. Feedback is always appreciated❤️

[yandere-musings]

Yandere Kaoru Seta

Anonymous asked: OMG YOU WRITE FOR BANDORI?! Can you write yandere headcanons for either Yukina or Kaoru? They're my best girls! I love your writing! Thanks!!

***

Awe thanks! I'm going with Kaoru on this one because she's my best girl and its her birthday tomorrow. if any of my followers play, hmu and I'll add you! I play on both the ENG and the JP servers.

Yandere Type: Delusional, Obsessive, Clingy

• Who would have thought that the legendary Haneoka Highschool Theater Prince would finally fall in love, and with a regular student no less! You were just a helping the theater club carry props to the stage for an upcoming performance, not expecting to actually meet any of the actors. But to your surpsie, one of them was actually there helping set up. You had come in to deliver a variety of fake flowers for the decorations and a large bouquet of roses for Kaoru who would be playing the love interest. You wandered up past the swarm of fans crowding her and nervously cleared your throat and stepped closer to get her attention.

"Um... excuse me? You're Kaoru Seta right? I was asked to deliver these flowers to you for the next performance. Where did you want them?" you asked nervously.

• Kaoru's red eyes grew wide in awe. It could have been the demure way you got her attention, or maybe it was how the stage lighting made you look almost angelic, or perhaps it was how the roses in your arms framed your figure perfectly like you were a living renaissance painting. It could have been any number of those things, but one was for certain. In that fleeting moment, Kaoru knew that it was love at first sight. She was completely dumbstruck, mouth agape in shock as another actor came over and helped you with the flowers. She watched in awe as you unloaded your arms, her mouth still agape. It was clearly some kind of destiny that you had met- and on the stage no less! Just as quickly as you walked into her life, you left. Kaoru's heart was pounding. Such an amazing, fleeting moment. It truly was fate! Kaoru vowed to make you hers. Even though she didn't so much as know your name, Kaoru vowed to stop at nothing to make you hers.

• Athough Kaoru has many fans and potential suitors, none of them compare to you. She needed to know everything she could about you. Sadly, seeking you out was a lot harder than she anticipated. In a school for the talented or genius, you were actually rather average. You didn't stand out much compared to the other students. Nobody had any idea who you were when Kaoru tried describing you for leads. Not to mention she also had to compete with her fans flooding her everywhere she went. When she finally does catch a glimpse of you, Kaoru is overcome with emotion. Suddenly she breaks into a run to close the distance between the two of you. Quickly grabbing your hands in hers, she stares into your eyes with a huge grin across her face. She was wheezing from her run and from the adorable confused expression you wore.

"There you are! I've been looking for you since the day we met," she proclaimed before standing up straight and giving you her most charming smile.

"As the great bard Shakespeare once said, 'who ever loved that loved not at first sight'? I beg of you, please be mine!"

•Regardless of what your answer was to her passionate confession, Kaoru is still determined to sweep you off your feet. She goes around to all your classmates, using her charm and influence to learn all she could about your hobbies, grades and preferences. Kaoru's fanclub was albeit a little jealous, but overall supportive of her sudden new fascination with you. Even if you insist on telling everyone that you aren't romantically involved, nobody believes you. How could they? Its clear that you're in a relationship when she pulls you into such a intimate embrace and spouts sickeningly sweet words to disprove your claims.

"It's alright my precious darling, you have no need to be shy! I don't mind sharing our love with the world! That way, all will come to know that your heart is taken."

• Kaoru was at your side as often as she could be. Personally escorting you to each class, tagging along when you leave campus with friends and even walking you home after school. And by that, I mean she follows right behind you until you get to the front door. Kaoru will stand there and wish you goodnight as you struggle with your keys in a rushed attempt to escape her intrusive gaze. Unfortunately, this now means that she knows where you live. Kaoru isn't a violent criminal by any means, but she wont hesitate to break into your home to steal things. Nothing you'd notice, but stuff that would mean the world to her. Over time, she will collect enough to build a shrine dedicated to you.

• Kaoru's princely personality doesn't stop on stage, no no. She will bring you flowers, extravagant gifts and shower you with all sorts of flattering compliments. Its naturally overwhelming to suddenly have so much attention on you, especially from someone as dazzling as Kaoru. So if you ever get agitated from her constant praise or snap at her, she will just smile at the fact you're giving her any kind of attention. She won't take offence of course- something else must be bothering you! Maybe something in school or your personal life is weighing heavy on your mind. No matter! Kaoru is happy to help in any way she can, and if she isn't able to do it herself, she will find someone else to do it (under her supervision of course!) Now, as far as Yanderes go, Kaoru is very passive. She's honestly believes that you love her, but are just shy. She won't react as violently as most yanderes, but she will manipulate those around her to isolate you or chase them away. If anything, when she does threaten those around you, its all the more terrifying because its so unexpected and out of character. Kaoru will warn them nicely that if they ever so much as speak to you again, they will never actually speak again.

• Powerful declarations of love before or after every performance, both as an actor and as the guitarist for Hello Happy World. And you better believe that she will write songs for you as well! Kaoru enjoys singing to you, love songs clearly being her favorite. But your voice is so much better. Anytime she hears you speak, she's hypnotized, latching on to every word you say. And if its directed at her, she's in heaven. One day, she dreams of kissing those very lips that she loves to stare at. But she won't rush it. No no, the fleeting moment of your first kiss must be savored. Besides, Kaoru knows that you will have plenty of 'firsts' together once you accept her love.

• Even if you remind her that you aren't actually dating, she will just smile and laugh. You're so silly! Of course you aren't dating! You were soulmates after all, there was no need for courting when you're meant to be together. None the less, she will still proudly declare that you are lovers to anyone who's willing to listen. She makes a very convincing case no matter what you do or say. She's big on PDA, loving to shower you in love so that everyone can see that you clearly are a couple

• Somehow, despite your best efforts, she manages to get your phone number. Kaoru loves leaving you long winded lovey-dovey messages, both via text message and on voicemail. Kaoru will lavish you with affection. Expect lots of random kisses and embraces, in private or not. She loves how flustered you get when she does. Even if you don't have school, Kaoru will always manages to track you down. You could be out shopping or wandering around town and she will 'randomly' bump into you. She can't wait until they day you go out with your family so she can properly meet her future in-laws.

• She knows all of your likes and preferences, altering her own to be more akin with yours. Kaoru is dedicated to proving her love through grand gestures or doing things that will win your favor. It makes it hard to dislike her when she cooks and brings your favorite meals for lunch, writes songs for you, buys you anything you spend time browsing in a store or compliments you on something you were insecure about. That coupled with the constant pressure of others to recirpocate her love makes it harder and harder to reject her. But that's exactly what Kaoru wants, for you to be so captivated by her that it parallels her own love for you. She honestly believes that you want to be with her, but that you're too embarrassed to express it just yet. She understands that she needs to be patient with you but she just loves you so much that restraining herself is difficult.

• She's not above kidnapping you. Kaoru adores you, yes, but if you continue to deny her advances when you're clearly meant for each other, she will begin to wonder why. She will seek out her dear friend Kokoro, venting to her rich friend over how badly Kaoru wants to be with you and have your love. Kokoro will be moved to tears by the passion in her voice, seeing how much her friend truly loves you and wants to make you happy. By the end of the Day, the Tsurumaki Secret Service agents will have you gagged and bound somewhere hidden away. Don't worry, Kaoru will be sure to take good care of you. She will happily decorate the room she keeps you locked in, continuing to gift you with all sorts of presents. And once her career as an actor or guitarists take off, she will ensure that you want for nothing. Even if you scream and fight back now, Kaoru knows you're only struggling to adjust to your life together. She knows it will all be worth it in the end. Any crime commited in the name of love can't be too bad right?

[leiasfanaccount648]

Finding You (Zendaya x Fem!Reader)

Part 2 of Missing You for @spiderrrling’s writing challenge!

Read part 1 here:

Once again, special thanks to @fratboievans for another fantastic moodboard!!

And tagging some friends again as well

@hr-hxlland @aw-hawkeye @moonkissedtom @gigglyparker

Prompt: Missing You by All Time Low

Genre: Slight angst, mostly fluff; friends to lovers; slow burn

Warnings: Language/Swearing, some self deprecation

Summary: Close to failing some of her college classes, (Y/N) is at a loss with her life and isn’t sure how to get back on her feet again while constantly running around everywhere for everything in her life. Her best friend, Zendaya, tries to support her in every way she can, but isn’t sure what (Y/N) really needs from her as a friend. However, Zendaya is still doing whatever she can to help her best friend. That’s what they’re for, right?

As (Y/N)’s semester continued, so did her and Zendaya’s weekly hang outs. Whether they were studying for her class or just watching a new show, they got together more and more often. And (Y/N)’s grades were getting better by the day. Ever test got a higher scorer by a few points each time, and she couldn’t be more proud of herself. Hell, Zendaya was so proud of her friend for her first B on a test in months that she actually picked her up in a hug, spinning her around and just congratulating her. She felt so accomplished in helping her best friend and couldn’t be happier. She started seeing (Y/N) in a new light; brightening up to her bubbly, go lucky self she once was before she started college. That was the (Y/N) that Z knew.

One day when she was helping her study for another test, they were taking their 15 minute break from 30 minutes of studying when she decided to bring up some personal stuff. She knew that school was tough on her friend, but was there more she didn’t know about going on back home?

“Hey, how’s the family doing by the way?” She tried to sound casual as (Y/N) put another record on the record player in her room, changing the music to go from Ed Sheeran to The Goo Goo Dolls. “They’re doing well. I mean, nothing new or bad going on.” Well that was a relief. But if that’s the case, then has she talked to her family about college at all this year? “Have they asked about your classes?” Z sat up from (Y/N)’s bed, looking at her friend from across the room. (Y/N) was placing the needle on the record, making the music come back on. “They have.”

“What have you told them?”

“That they’re fine. They don’t need to worry about me. I mean it’s my life after all, right?”

“Did you tell them how you’re thinking about changing your major?”

“..No.”

Z sighed, getting up from the bed but staying on the other side of the room. “Then are you staying in the major that you’re in now?” She needed to help (Y/N) sort out her life and find her place in the world. She couldn’t stand to see her suffer like this. The studying and such only help so much. “I don’t know. But I don’t need you telling me what I should do anymore, okay? I can do this myself. I just need you to be my friend. Nothing more.”

Nothing more? Z never even thought about more. So why did it hurt to hear her friend say that? She couldn’t stop her response, still thinking about what (Y/N) just said to her. “You know you can’t just cover up every mistake you’ve ever made, (Y/N). They all happen for a reason, because of your actions.”

“I know, because I’m just a fucking failure aren’t I? That’s all I’ll ever be to everyone I meet isn't it?” (Y/N)’s voice rose as she spoke, feeling tears wanting to come up but she continued to just rant about how awful she felt and compared herself to everyone else she’s ever met.

Zendaya started to get irritated from her words. It wasn’t the fact that (Y/N) was ranting about how she felt, she just couldn’t bare to hear anymore untruthful words coming from her friend’s mouth. Z knew that (Y/N) needed to vent about how she felt, but she just take it anymore. She herself felt like crying. (Y/N) stopped rambling on as Z placed her hands on her arms/shoulders, the tears finally started to fall silently. The only sounds in the room were that of the record player, now playing the song Come to Me by The Goo Goo Dolls, and the occasional car driving by the apartment complex her dorm was at.

“(Y/N),” Zendaya’s voice cracked slightly from holding back tears. She took a breath before continuing with what she was going to say. “You can grit your teeth, pull your hair, scream about everyone and everything you hate, but don’t you dare ever blame yourself for anything that is not your fault. Yes, some people may get nothing but straight A’s, maybe it was just how they were raised. To study for hours on end and that only work and school matter. You need to realize that that’s not all life is made out to be. You’re allowed to take a break, you’re allowed to make mistakes. Cause it’s life, and you’re gonna take yours back from every bad thing you believed to be true. Some things may be important, but you’re well being is always your first priority.”

Z didn’t realize that she started to cry a little as well from her speech, taking another breath before finishing what she was saying. “And remember, I will always be here for you. I’ve been missing you, the real you that was for the most part carefree and always up to hang out with her friends when she wasn’t studying for over 7 hours.” They both laughed softly, (Y/N)’s small smile making Zendaya grin.

Z couldn’t stop herself from pulling (Y/N) into a hug, holding her close, tight, and afraid to let go. (Y/N) hugged back, holding her just as tight to keep from crying anymore. Z let out a small whisper to herself, not caring if (Y/N) heard her or not. “Come back to me..”

The two stayed silent as the record player finished playing the song it was on.

Come to me, my sweetest friend.

Can you feel my heart again?

I'll take you back where you belong.

And this will be our favorite song.

Come to me, with secrets bare.

I'll love you more so don't be scared.

When we're old and near the end,

We'll go home and start again.

After they calmed down, they decided to call it a night. It was getting late and both of them knew they needed to get some sleep. But (Y/N) couldn’t, and not because she was studying late into the night again.

She was thinking about Zendaya’s words towards her both that evening and over the past couple weeks. Maybe she really was right. Life is one big ride, and is it a wild one that you need to take. And at the end of the day, you really do have to accept the mistakes you’ve made in the past and realize there’s more to come in the future.

As the weeks of (Y/N)’s semester went by, she slowly started to return back to her (almost) carefree self. She didn’t study to the point of exhaustion, not get enough sleep due to studying or worrying over a test/assignment. But best of all, her grades got better and better with every test/assignment she turned in. They weren’t A’s, but they were for sure higher than her previous ones.

Zendaya was so proud of (Y/N) after finding out her final grades for the semester that she insisted on taking her out to dinner. That’s what friends do, right? Friends totally spend a couple hours choosing the right outfit and makeup for a night out with each other, right? Neither were oblivious to how they felt, but they weren’t sure about the other one. Has she started feeling this way as well?

Of course, neither had the courage to actually try and make a move. They had to just keep their emotions to themselves. The problem with that is that (supposedly) straight girls sometimes tend to flirt without even meaning to, especially close friends. A simple phrase like “Oh my god, I love you so much, thank you!” could send both of them into a spiral of thoughts, making everything worse for both of them.

Hey, I’m outside whenever you’re ready to go

Z’s text made (Y/N) even more anxious. Did she look nice enough? Was she overdressed? Was it even a good idea to fall for her best friend like this? ‘Fuck it. I’m gonna do something about this. And if it doesn’t work out, she’ll forgive me and understand… Right?‘ She headed out of her dorm, quickly getting in the car and smiling when she saw Zendaya. She’s beautiful..

“Hey,” Z smiled as well when she saw her friend. She looked gorgeous when she got all dressed up like this. Granted, she was always gorgeous in her eyes. “You ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” (Y/N) put her seatbelt on. “You mind telling me where it is we’re going now?” Z didn’t tell (Y/N) what was going on other than dinner. She was in for a rude awakening. Zendaya smirked a little at her friend’s statement, starting to back out of the parking space and drive onto the street. “You’ll see when we get there.” She was wanting to make a move as well, this one being more bold. She was taking her out on a date.

“Oh my god,” (Y/N) laughed softly, plugging her phone into the car’s AUX cord, “are you kidding me? At least tell me that I dressed okay for this place.” She smiled, trying to act as casual as possible. She played from their best friend playlist they both made. Zendaya smiled as the music started to play. “You look amazing, (Y/N). People can fuck off if they think otherwise.” ‘Was that too much?’ Z bit her lip, afraid she suddenly made the situation from casual to awkward. Luckily for her, (Y/N) blushed at her words. Too bad she couldn’t notice in the dark while also driving the car. “Thanks, Z.” (Y/N) decided to take the risk. “Same goes to you.” She giggled after, once again going for casual rather than awkward. More and more somewhat flirty exchanges were made between the two during the 15 minute car ride.

(Y/N) even tried to make an attempt at holding Zendaya’s hand before realizing that she had stopped the car, turning it off. “We’re here.” Z smiled and got out of the car, going to the back seat to grab some stuff. Meanwhile, (Y/N) got out of the car, looking around. “Where’s the restaurant?”

“Well, I was gonna make a reservation, but then I realized that you should be free to do/say anything you want while celebrating you and your grades. So I thought,” Z held up a picnic basket, blanket, and a bunch of fairy lights, “why not just make our own night out?”

(Y/N) smiled, in shock, admiration, maybe even love. She wanted to tell her how she felt. Surely this is a sign right? She walked over to Z, taking the lights from her. “Thank you, Z.” She didn’t even realize what she was doing until it was happening. She gave Z a quick kiss on the cheek before walking over to a nearby tree to start setting up the lights up and down the branches (thank god they had batteries with them). Zendaya stood there frozen for a second before realized what had happened. ‘I might have a chance after all.’

After they ate their dinner and packed everything up in the car, they decided to go walk around the park they were at. The girls told stories, shared jokes, and just had a great time enjoying each other’s company. Zendaya even decided to make the bold move of going to hold (Y/N)’s hand, grinning when she felt her gladly accept her hand in hers. They were taking baby steps for sure, but steps nonetheless. Even if it wasn’t love, they still had each other, and that was just as good. This is what they had been missing, and they had finally found each other again.

[sheerioswifties]

So there's this blog out there for disabled/chronically ill people that posts things called "shit able-bodied people say" and it's both funny and informative as far as both giving spoonies a place to vent and share experiences as well as kind of letting able bodied people know about things they may not realize they're doing or saying that can be hurtful to us. I have a bunch of ideas I'd saved in my drafts of things to post like that and so I'm thinking of posting a few; I just don't want to come across as overly negative or like I'm getting on people's cases? Which is why I've not posted and kind of let things go but again seeing how many others there are out there dealing with living with disabilities and regularly Tumblring, maybe I should? More as an informative thing/discussion prompts even. Anyways I guess this is just me rambling letting you know about some new posts I'll be doing. I also think I'll keep posting little anecdotes now and then with my chronic chronicles tag.

Anyways I've got a headache so I gotta go chill for a bit, feel free to send asks or say hi or give feedback or even submissions if you have ideas or things you'd want to contribute or see me post about!

xo

[jahloveangel]

I posted 11,618 times in 2021

4 posts created (0%)

11614 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2903.5 posts.

I added 240 tags in 2021

#atla - 51 posts

#gowns to rule the world in - 32 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 30 posts

#good omens - 27 posts

#avatar - 22 posts

#met gala - 17 posts

#sailor moon - 17 posts

#black widow - 15 posts

#marvel - 15 posts

#fashion - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#i'll take explanations that make things make less sense for $400 alex

My Top Posts in 2021

#4

Why the fuck does tumblr want me to go to new jersey

0 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 21:34:36 GMT

#3

More Black Widow rambling hey-o

The callbacks! The callbacks. Seeing how Natasha has changed because of her friendship with Steve and the echoes of Clint. Yes all the yes

Because let’s be real pre-Steve Nat would not blink at stealing a car. Absolutely not. But post-Steve Nat, I would not have been surprised if she told Yelena not to curse actually yes because Yelena rightfully would have given her SUCH shit for it

And Clint! The arrow holes in the wall. Hiding in the vents playing tic tac toe. The arrow necklace. not one mention of banner thank freaking god Yelena picturing Nat with a husband into renovation and kids I see what you did there movie I see you I feel you

I know there’s more I’m forgetting. Clearly I need to see it again

On a related note, using Taskmaster to call back to other avengers. I definitely recognized Bucky’s knife flip and pretty sure I spotted a move of T’Challa’s. I’ll have to watch closer next time and see who else I can pick out

(Which makes me wonder, did he make Taskmaster watch footage of all the avengers just in case? Because when would Taskmaster have ever come up against Bucky or Steve or T’Challa? CAN Taskmaster copy moves from the or film footage?)

(To branch off again, Yelena calling Nat on her posing (!!!) clearly means she watches the news footage of Nat. Was she watching Natasha to keep an eye on her? To make sure she was still safe? Was she proud of her big sister out there doing amazing things, saving the world, or just wondering why Natasha wasn’t looking for her?)

13 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 07:11:36 GMT

#2

None of my friends have seen it yet so y’all get my rambling instead

One of the best things about Natasha’s (and the other Widows) fighting style is using any and everything at hand in a fight. It’s not just overpowering an opponent with strength (like Steve can) or just using strategy, it’s a having complete situational/special awareness of where you are in a space and what is around you. Using the curtains in Budapest, or Yelena using the plate, being drug across a desk in the Red Room, it’s all using objects and your surroundings to deal more damage than you could on your own.

Which is perfectly in character and perfectly displays the difference between Natasha and the other avengers. She doesn’t have super speed or strength, or invulnerability (she will in fact need an ibuprofen afterwards), so she’s got to use every advantage she can grab on to. And ultimately it tends to give her the upper hand, because the moment she walks into a room she’s clocked every single thing in it and how it could be used as a weapon, and is able to stay 5 steps ahead of the other person no matter their size or strength advantage that they may have over her.

It definitely shows that close quarters, on the ground fighting is where Natasha’s strength is, unlike her teammates that tend to fight at a distance and/or on a battlefield.

Related, Natasha versus the Widows shows that her age is an advantage. She’s got more experience than the other Widows, so while they’ve all had the same training, Natasha has had a decade or more to refine her skills and so was able to hold her own (for a bit at least) against a literal room full of assassins. Meaning Melina would probably be even more terrifying.

44 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 04:01:48 GMT

#1

I had this thought about the Black Widow movie and @between-the-pages-ofa-book has a post that helped refine it some more so here we go

I enjoyed multiple things about Natasha’s family of Yelena, Melina and Alexei. Being where I am at in my life now, as an adult and with time and space to reflect on the success or failure of my parents’ in raising me, seeing how Natasha and Yelena dealt with their parents as both fellow adults and their parents resonated so much.

Natasha especially. She not only was older than Yelena originally (and already burdened with trauma that she wanted to spare her sister from), she is older when they meet their parents again. She’s had more time to be independent, to talk with other people who did NOT grow up like she did, who probably were able to help her see that the way she was treated was not ok, and more importantly, I fiercely hope that they helped her see that it was not her fault. Whether or not the films have shown us these interactions, to me, Natasha is acting like someone that has started healing and is not willing to give up the progress she’s made, possibly not even for her sister. I feel like there is a real struggle for Natasha in deciding whether or not to forgive her parents, because clearly Yelena wants them to be a family, but forgiveness means letting in people that hurt her, and might do so again.

Yelena isn’t as far on the journey as Natasha is, she’s just now seeing how fucked up everything was and she’s angry. She wants her family to know, even and especially Natasha, how much she has suffered and she wants to place blame for it. Whether it’s on Alexei for giving them up or on Natasha for not looking for her. At the same time, she isn’t ready to let go of the connection she felt with her family. It’s the only thing she has to hold onto that proves her life until now hasn’t been wasted on suffering.

Melina and Alexei really show the cycle of abuse and how it keeps perpetuating. Melina grew up caged, she doesn’t know how to be anything other controlled, didn’t know it was possible to be anything else. Alexei has built his identity around his country and his service to it, and doesn’t have a sense of self without it. Because of their flaws, their parenting is going to be flawed. Abuse begets abuse.

At the same time, I do think Melina and Alexei tried. They cared. They raised their daughters to value what they valued, even though that brought more harm to them than strength. They believed that making Natasha and Yelena strong was showing them love, no matter how cruel the methods might be.

Just as importantly, they listened to Natasha and Yelena when they said ‘what you did hurt me.’ (Although it did take longer for it to sink in for Alexei.) They recognized that they had made mistakes. Which is much more than many abusive parents are ever capable of.

However, that doesn’t mean Natasha or Yelena were obligated to forgive them. Melina and Alexei were obligated to take ownership for their mistakes, to admit to them and recognize the harm they did, but they were not owed forgiveness. That was entirely up to Natasha and Yelena to decide. But I do think that doing so and allowing their parents another chance helped both of them to heal in a way that cutting them off would not have.

181 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 02:05:46 GMT

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