#i'll wait to read it on my kindle when i get home!

[virgo-dream]

Giving Sanctuary by @avelera

Part 01 of the Giving Sanctuary Series

I cannot believe I am finally posting this. Here's why this matters so much to me:

Maggie was one of the first fic authors I encountered while scouring AO3 for Dreamling fics back in September of 2022. She was always incredibly kind to me, and I essentially joined tumblr again to be able to keep up with Giving Sanctuary and Come Live With Me updates and all the other amazing writing advice and meta that she always graces us with. With time, Maggie became a friend that I very dearly cherish, and this fic cover is my way to thank her for an amazing work of fanfiction and for always being so kind and generous with me and so many others in this community.

I made this cover art to use on my kindle, because this is definitely one of the fics I want to have with me to re-read again and again.

Thank you for this fic, Maggie. It was a lovely ride! Can't wait for Keeping Sanctuary! ✨

Also major thanks to @caberneigh for helping me with Hob's hand and other details I could not figure out for the life of me! Big thanks to @littledreamling and @keikiiart for cheering me on while I was working on this. 💖

[heejake-hoon]

Enhypen hyung line when you send them a dirty text while being surrounded by family (mdni)

Heeseung: You try to bite back a smirk as you covertly type out the risky text under the table. 'Out with the fam but all I can think about is your thick cock stretching me open later…' Send. A few moments pass before your phone vibrates. You sneak a glance to see Heeseung's intense eyes narrow at you from across the room, his plush lips already parting subtly. There's a slight flush creeping up the back of his neck as he reads it. 'I dunno baby, might need you to send me a pic to really get me going while we're around your parents…' he types back with a heated look. You mouth an innocent 'What?' at him, going for wide-eyed before quickly typing. 'Like maybe a sneak peek of what's waiting for that huge cock later?' You can see the way Heeseung clenches his jaw, chest subtly rising and falling as his thick arms tense involuntarily. He's definitely getting riled already. With a wicked grin you fire off another. 'I'll be dripping and ready for you to just slam in to the hilt…' Heeseung's eyes damn near smolder as he hungrily drinks in your body before slowly, purposefully dropping his gaze straight to your lap. Even from here you can see the slight telltale tenting of his slacks as his tongue sweeps over his lower lip. Your phone buzzes again. 'Better be ready for this, baby…cuz I'm gonna wreck you raw when we're alone.' Arousal zings straight to your core at the sultry promise. Looked like getting him all worked up wasn't so hard after all.

Jay: You try not to squirm at the positively sinful text you just sent to Jay while surrounded by his whole family for dinner. 'I'm so fucking horny just thinking about those big hands spreading me open later…' You covertly peek up through your lashes in time to catch the harsh inhale and clenched jaw as he reads it. Jay's piercing eyes instantly find yours in a dark glare that has you suppressing a shudder. 'Pretty fuckin' ballsy to be sending me dirty texts while my parents are sitting right there,' he types with one thick finger. A fresh wave of arousal washes over you at the thought of getting caught. You shift minutely in your chair. 'Well maybe if you werent so goddamn thick I wouldn't be gagging for it all the time…' The muffled growl tears from Jay's throat as he reads the words, powerful forearms tensing against the tabletop. For a torturous moment you match his blazing gaze, skating your tongue over your lower lip. "Everything okay over there, son?" his father pipes up in concern. You have to duck your head to hide the smirk at Jay's visible stiffening. "Y-yeah. Just…something annoying. But it's fine." Your phone buzzes again as you catch that scorching dark look. 'This ain't over. Soon as we're alone I'm making you choke on this dick for being such a fuckin' tease…' You stifle a desperate whimper at the promise, already throbbing between your thighs at the mere thought.

Jake: You make sure Jake is within view before tapping out the scandalous text behind your back. 'God I can't wait to go home and just bury my face between your thighs later…' There's a choked sort of sound from across the room as Jake reads it, chest instantly heaving. You peek through your lashes to see his face flushed, jaw clenched and nostrils flaring as his fingers fly over his phone. 'Fuck, you tryna get me all worked up in front of your parents like this?' You bite your lip hard as you tap out your response. 'Maybe…get you so fucking horny you're leaking by the time I wrap my lips around that huge dick…' Jake damn near snarls as he reads it, free hand clenching into a white-knuckled fist in his lap. You can see the desperation kindling behind those heated eyes when they catch yours, speaking right to the molten need already pooling low in your stomach. Another buzz. 'Jesus fucking Christ. So fucking bad I wanna bend you over this table & eat you out raw till you're soaked and screaming for it…' You have to sink your teeth into your fist to muffle the desperate whine that escapes your throat. Your thighs press together instinctively, whole body quivering at the explicit visual his words evoke. You catch Jake's heated gaze again from across the room, holding it boldly as you mouth 'Bathroom?' at him with a devilish arch of your brow. His jaw clenches almost violently at the unspoken suggestion, thick chest visibly heaving beneath his shirt as that muscle in his throat bobs. For a moment, you think the sheer naked want coursing through his expression might make him snap and take you right there on the damn table in front of everyone. Then your phone buzzes harshly in your lap. 'You got 2 minutes to get that sexy ass in the bathroom before I come drag you there myself…'

Sunghoon: You try not to squirm in your seat as you send off that deliciously filthy text to Sunghoon while surrounded by his whole family. 'I'm so fucking horny just thinking about your huge cock deep in my guts later…' There's a tense pause before your phone buzzes with his response. You covertly peek up to see Sunghoon's intense gaze burning into you from down the table, jaw visibly clenched and the tips of his ears already turning pink. 'You keep talking shit like that and I'm gonna make you finish me under this table…' he warns, dark promise simmering behind those heated eyes. You bite back a whimper at the thought, surreptitiously crossing and squeezing your thighs together as another rush of arousal washes over you. Before you can overthink it, you're quickly tapping back with one hand discreetly in your lap. 'Maybe I want you to use me like a fuckdoll while your whole family's right here…' The way Sunghoon's chest expands with a sharp inhale, thick forearms flexing involuntarily against the tabletop…God, you're already soaked just imagining having that powerful frame pinning you down. Completely at his mercy while he claimed what was his with brutal need. Another buzz drags your attention back to your phone as you mouth goes dry. 'Be careful what you wish for, baby girl… you know damn well that this dick doesn't play fair.' Your cunt clenches hard at the utter sin dripping from those words. You can already picture him forcing your thighs apart to make room for his thick length sinking into your helpless body with deep, punishing rolls of his hips-- A sudden insistent nudge against your ankle makes you start. You glance up to find Sunghoon's smoldering gaze trained on you as he slowly, deliberately grinds the toe of his boot against your inner calf in a blatant tease. The breath stutters from your lips as your thighs instinctively part slightly, already desperate for more friction against your dripping center. Sunghoon's darkly amused smirk is the only warning before he's trailing burning paths all along your legs with little aborted thrusts and caresses. You have to sink your teeth into your knuckles to stifle a moan, whole body quivering with the effort of keeping some semblance of composure...

[readingandwritingandreading]

Long Time Coming ~ Part 10

My Blurb: We have reached the end of my Bucky story. I'm sure there will be more starring him in the future. Thank you to everyone who stuck with me! This ending is cheesy but they have been through so much they deserve a fluffy ending.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. You own nothing, I don’t give anyone permission to post this anywhere. 

Summary: Bucky had waited a long time to find an Omega. When Pepper introduces the team to her new assistant he knows shes the one.

Pairing: Alpha Bucky Barnes X OFC Omega Carina Rivera

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, biting, shower sex

Status: Completed

Tagging: @ashes-writing | @pioched | @littlemissthistle | @pizgloria | @casa-boiardi

Read First: Long Time Coming Masterlist

Also Check Out: Main Masterlist

Everybody wants to be loved, every once in a while. We all need someone to hold on to, just like a helpless child. Can you whisper in my ear, let me know it's alright.

Steve & Natasha stayed at the controls in the front of the jet as they made their way back to the compound, giving Bucky & Carina some space in the back. There was quiet murmuring as he examined her wounds and they comforted each other. 

Arriving at the base they were greeted by the rest of the team who gave relieved smiles and hugs before letting Bucky usher her to Dr. Cho despite her protests. “Please, for my peace of mind. Let her scan you and then we will go back to our place.” The haunted look in his eyes convinced her, so she sat through the physical, holding Bucky’s hand the whole time. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up and then I'll bandage your wrists.” Bucky carried her into their bathroom and started the water while Carina pulled her clothes off. 

She was still in the outfit she’d been kidnapped in and she threw it in the trash the second she got it away from her skin. “That used to be my favorite sports bra.” she shook her head, turning to see Bucky still clothed. “You aren’t joining me?”

“I was going to get you some fresh clothes while you cleaned up.” He smiled gently, checking the water temperature.

It's been a long time coming down this road, and now I know what I've been waiting for. And like a lonely highway I'm trying to get home, loves been a long time coming.

She shook her head, tears springing to her eyes. “Please stay with me. I can’t feel you right now and I…” her hand was resting on her chest as the words left her in a shudder. Bucky knew the feeling, their connection had been damaged by the injections. When they had bonded a tether had appeared right next to his heart that led straight to her. He was still aware of a whisper of it but the stricken look on her face told him that she couldn’t even feel that much.

He whipped his clothes and shoes off and gathered her into his arms. Her small sobs were muffled by the water as he steered them underneath it. “Sshhh, it’s going to be ok.” he murmured, reaching for her shampoo and slowly working it through her tangled hair.

“Can we fix it?” he barely heard the whispered question against his chest. 

Lifting her head back so he could rinse the shampoo, he smiled at her. “It’s still there, our bond, we just have to tend to it. Strange said it was like a fire.” he reached for her conditioner before continuing. “Add kindling, encourage it. Brock didn’t succeed in extinguishing it. As long as we still want each other there are embers.”

You can love for a lifetime, you can love for a day. You can think you've got everything, but everything is nothing when you throw it away. Then you look in my eyes. And I have it all once again.

Carina looked at him, her brown eyes wide and shining with tears. “There’s no one I want more than you.” she whispered, her arms circled his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. He smiled into the kiss, relieved to hear it. 

Pulling back he turned to grab her loofah but she pulled him back down. “We need to clean your wrists.” Her ankles had had the benefit of her leggings to provide a barrier but the rope had dug into the skin on her bare wrists, leaving them raw and red. 

“Bucky please.” She tried again to pull him down to her but he resisted despite the scent of her arousal reaching his nose.

“You need to rest, you’ve been through alot.” His attempt to soothe her was weak even to his own ears. 

Didn't know I was lost, till you found me. Didn't know I was blind, but now I see. Can you whisper in my ear, let me know it's alright.

She shook her head, a small smile crept onto her face when she felt his arousal stir against her stomach. “I need you, I need to feel you and our connection.” 

Bucky gave in with a groan, grabbing her legs and hoisting her up his body. Gently he pressed her back against the wall, using it to anchor her with his hips. “I love you so much, if I had lost you…” his voice broke and she silenced him with another kiss, whimpering as he pressed into her. 

“You waited nearly two lifetimes for me, I'll be yours for the rest of mine.” She whispered, urging him to move with a shift of her hips. Bucky was gentle as he made love to her in the shower slowly, urging her to an orgasm before reclaiming her with a bite over the damaged one. The effect was immediate, both of them relaxing as their bond snapped into place again.

It's been a long time coming down this road, and now I know what I've been searching for. It's been a long, long highway, and now I see. Oh it's been a long time, loves been a long time coming.

Bucky and Carina were married three weeks later in a small ceremony at a cabin Tony owned. They hadn’t needed the piece of paper, their bond was stronger than ever but Bucky had wanted to tie himself to her in every way possible. For him, love had been a long time coming.

[authorsadiethatcher]

It's time for another State of the Thatcher address. And this year I do it on the American Independence Day. For those who are celebrating, enjoy the day.

The last couple months have been filled with a lot of work, writing multiple books, as well as my next fantasy novel. There have been a few ups and downs over that time, with Amazon being slow to publish a few books. But overall, everything is going along as planned.

I've got a few special things happening this month. At the top of the list is the books I have in the Smashwords Summer (winter for those in the southern hemisphere) Sale. A bunch of my back catalogue books are available for half off all month. Link below.

I am also participating in the Fantasy Romance Book Fair this month, with all the participating books available in Kindle Unlimited. I know where I'll be picking up my next fantasy reads this month. https://books.bookfunnel.com/fantasyromancejuly/5o7c1hfzq6

Amazon is where most people find my books, so here’s a link to my catalogue: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sadie-Thatcher/author/B00B4MINAC

Smashwords is a great place to buy books, especially if you don’t like Amazon’s evil empire. You can find them here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/sadiethatcher

Plus, you can find them at the Google Play bookstore: https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=Sadie+Thatcher

I’ve added a new way you can get my books. It’s called Ream and it’s a bit like Patreon, but its author specific, made by authors for authors. In addition getting to read all of my new books for a monthly subscription fee, I also give you access to the images that didn't quite make the cut for my covers. You can see my Ream page here: https://reamstories.com/page/lhssployqw

Additionally, my books are available through Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Scribd. I don’t have links to those stores handy, but if that’s where you like to buy books from, my books will show up there, eventually. I distribute through Smashwords and have to wait until the review team there approves my books for distribution. This can take days or even weeks.

If fantasy is your thing, take a look at all of my novels under my other pen name here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Libby-Feron/author/B09PJ9J5RN

And if you sign up for the Libby Feron newsletter, you get exclusive content and updates like cover reveals before anyone else. I have a bonus prequel scene up for the Magic’s Most Wanted Series that will be exclusive to newsletter subscribers. You can sign up here: https://libbyferon.com/newsletter/

With the fantasy novel plug complete, let me also mention some of the cool stories I have coming out in the next month month.

I’ve got two more books in the Bimbo at Home Series to release. There's conversion into traditional gender roles, harems, lactation, and so much more.

I also have a series upcoming that features a society where all women become bimbos when they turn 21 years old by law. If a woman wants to contribute to society in another way, they have until their 21st birthday to make their mark.

There will be a commission later this month that really focuses on the mental side of bimbofication. This should be a fun one.

Finally, I still intend to eventually release Fake It Until You Make It in audio. However, my narrator is suffering from a late bout of allergies that makes recording difficult. As soon as those allergies clear up, expect progress to be made on that front.

[libertyreads]

July 2024 TBR--

It's finally time for my Christmas in July reading! I've been looking forward to it for months because I have FOUR NetGalley ARCs that fit perfectly into my Christmas in July M.O. I'll be reading three Christmas Romances and one Mystery/Thriller set during Christmas. I also have four other books I'm really looking forward to reading in the back half of the month.

The Holiday Honeymoon Switch by Julia McKay (NetGalley)-- The first of my Christmas in July TBR. This is a rom-com where Holly Beech and Ivy Casey, two best friends who are so in sync they even look alike, swap places after Holly's fiancé jilts her and leaves her with a nonrefundable honeymoon. Both find their own romantic matches this holiday season.

Mistletoe Season by Shelia Roberts, Kathleen Fuller, and Pepper Basham (NetGalley)--This is a collection of three Christmas stories: Say No to Mistletoe (author going home for the holidays + romance), Return to Mistletoe (returning home after spending time abroad renovating an Irish castle), and The Mistletoe Prince (Prince is sent to small town North Carolina to prove he's ready for the royal life). I think the one I'm most excited to read is the first, but I'm always down for some Christmas romance.

Christmas in Aspen by Anita Hughes (NetGalley)--Mourning her mother, Caroline Holt returns to her late mother's upstate cabin to spend the holidays. But when she arrives, she discovers a letter addressed to her mother from a man declaring his love for her and saying he'll be waiting for her in front of the Little Red Mailbox in Aspen, Colorado on New Year's Eve. Caroline decides to see her mother's mysterious lover and travels to Aspen. But once she arrives she keeps running into another man and things start to get complicated. This sounds like it's going to be super emotional and character driven.

Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret by Benjamin Stevenson (NetGalley)-- Another book in the Ernest Cunningham series AND it's set at Christmas sign me the fuck up. I'm ready. I love ending my Christmas in July with a Mystery or Thriller set during Christmas. This one starts when a body drops in front of Ernest's feet during a Christmas pageant. It has the usual writing style that I enjoy so much and has the best end to a synopsis on GoodReads: "This Christmas everyone has a motive. So it's not a matter of who wanted the victim dead--but who got there first."

Teen Titans: Starfire by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo (July release)-- This is the next book in the Teen Titans graphic novel series. They each follow a different Teen Titan before they become a Teen Titan. They've also started getting more interconnected as the series goes on which I enjoy. In this one we follow Kori Anders, who takes part in a clinical trial designed to treat her Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and who discovers some strange powers she's never had before.

Sunny Disposition by Deanna Grey (Kindle)-- My hockey romance for the month. I realized a few months back that I've been reading at least one per month and decided to keep it going for the rest of the year. This is a book from an indie author following a sunshine gamer girl, Naomi, who shares a house with four hockey players and is drawn to a grumpy boy, Finn. There also seems to be a little bit of You've Got Mail Vibes in that he moderates for her online but neither know the other one is involved in the streams.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins-- This one is a reread for me. I've been planning to reread this series since the beginning of the year, but struggled with where I would have the time. I also want to watch all of the movies because I don't think I watched Mockingjay at all (which is weird...that one may be my favorite book). I'm also going to be reading the prequel for the first time (and hopefully watching the movie as well. A dystopian world where children fight to the death. Social commentary. Food. (I swear I get so hungry reading Katniss practically starving in the Games).

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer-- One I am SO excited to reread before the next book in the series comes out. At least this time I'll go into it knowing it's the first book in a series. We follow a girl who decides to take an office job with a villain because a girl's gotta get paid. There are castles and dragons and a very Grumpy Villain (who's secretly a softy...shhhh). It's so campy and fun and I can't wait to get back into it.

I'm hoping my birthday month reading knocks it out of the park. I'm excited to get back in the holiday mood and end the month with some fun rereads.

[editorialsonlife]

22.08.23

Well well well

I'm 2 weeks into 2.5 weeks of stress leave from the office while I try and get myself together again and man has it been a super needed break from the office and all its toxicity. It's been so good to be able to catch up on sleep and have some slow days and have some super good girlfriend time which has been sorely lacking as of late.

I spent all of Saturday catching up with Freya who is the queen of reinvention and so good to talk to and so reassuring Her and Laurence have lived so many lives and careers paths and its so nice to hear from people who have done it and what's been good and what's been bad and how she's navigated it and for someone who really struggles with being decisive in this kind of stuff it was just great to catch up.

I caught up with Lynaire briefly on Sunday and went and saw an open home as well which was fun. house was terrible but it's nice to be like, poking around the edges and seeing what might be out there for when we move I guess. Still don't know how finances are going to work out for everything but we'll see as time goes on I guess.

I spent this morning in bed brainstorming all the big questions that I have that are just sitting out there and stressing me out and emptied them onto a page. I linked together the common themes ones into to do lists and health and money and tomorrow I need to tackle the work stuff as well and come up with a bit of a plan there about how things are going to change when I go back and where other people need to step in to help and step up and do their jobs so I'm not covering everything while they're being shit.

I came up with a mini to do list under each of the headings so I know what my next little baby steps are and then wrote a list of all the things that are outside of my control as well - what I can't control, what I can influence but not decide and what is just going to have to wait as well so there's that.

I've set up a couple of APs into different bank accounts to save me some money for an emergency fund (somehow I'm 33 and still never had one) and I'll rebuild all my holiday savings budgets and our mortgage account budget and write them down so I can be confident in them and start tracking against them. I know this is probably a double up with YNAB anyway but I'll feel better about it so I'm gunna do it anyway. I need to go to the bank to set up some more accounts in our joint account for stuff as well so I'll get that sorted too. Need to pay the truck registration and get a new headlamp put in it as well (snore). adulthood man.

I've also deleted instagram off my phone to try and curb the time wastage and scrolling. Likely just means I'm gunna read more smutty novels on kindle unlimited but oh well LOOOOOLLLLLL.

I've been seeing a different counsellor as well who I don't love but has been useful. I know I need to work on setting better boundaries in just about every aspect of my life so I need to clock on and do that. Classic me I got a couple of books to read on the topic so we'll see how those go.

One of the really nagging questions that keeps hanging round and I keep circling back to is 'When is it all enough?'. and Enough in everything - when have I earnt enough money, when have I climbed the career ladder enough, when have I delivered enough, when will I ever be enough. So that's one of the things I really need to work my way through. I spent some time this morning writing down all the ways that I have enough already - and it just became a really nice gratitude list so I'm going to keep doing that a bit more often I think. and try and remember to build in some little celebrations at work as well for things that I've covered.

Contemplating quitting the current job to go and be a programme coordinator with my friend Katherine. Would be the same money mostly but way less responsibility and more flexibility. I feel bad ditching work when the boss has been good to me but also, if nothing changes then nothing changes and I'll be back to being a burnt out mess pretty quickly tbh. Unideal. I think we'll just have to see how we go overall once I'm back. September is going to be an interesting month I think.

Ok that's enough of a brain dump for now I think byeeeeeeeeee

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Yours, Forever | Chapter 7

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.1K

SUMMARY | After three months in Italy, Y/N was finally back home in New York, but things don't go according to plan. When Bucky comes back from a particularly bad mission, he is avoiding anything and everyone, until he gets pushed to his breaking point and Y/N has to pay the price for his mistake.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, violence (choking), mental health struggles.

A/N | Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading my first ever fic! I would like to start off by saying that English isn’t my first language (I’m Dutch after all 😉) so every mistake you find – spelling or otherwise – is completely my own. I would appreciate you spreading the love about this fic, and I ofcourse hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Series masterlist | Chapter 6 | Chapter 8

The last day of the Italy trip had arrived, and both Y/N and Eve were sad to see their 3 month vacation come to an end, seeing how much fun they had. Once they are at the airport, they have to say goodbye again and it is just as painful as the first time when Y/N left to move to New York. After they said their goodbyes they each went to their respective gates, and waited for their planes to leave. Eve had a short flight ahead, but Y/N knew she was in for a long one and couldn't wait to see Bucky again, to cuddle him for as long as they possibly could, to kiss his perfect lips again until they can't think straight anymore. The flight goes without problems and little turbulence, and she even manages to finish 2 books she had downloaded onto her Kindle, so she made a mental note to update her reading goal of this year.

She got off the plane and texted her dad she arrived safe and would come see him later when she had the chance, she had a lot to catch up on with him, and ofcourse a lot of photos to to show him as well. Once she found her suitcases she moved into the arrival hall with a huge smile on her face, in the hopes to see her boyfriend again, but it dropped as soon as she saw Steve, not Bucky. ''Well, I'm happy to see you too!'' Steve said joking as he came up to her with his arms spread so he could take her in his arms and give him one of the bear hugs she loved so much. ''Sorry, I was expecting Bucky, he said he would be here, that's all. But I'm happy to see you too, you know that right?!'' she said, and looked behind Steve expectingly, to see who we was talking to earlier.

''Didn't know you needed a babysitter to get out of the compound, Rogers!'' Y/N joked when she looked at the man behind him, walking up to him with her hand stretched out. ''Hi, I'm Y/N, I'll be Steve's colleague soon when I start working for S.I. and Tony.'' she introduced herself. ''Uh, hi! I'm Lucas, Steve is my-'' ''Friend! He's just my friend.'' Steve quickly said, he didn't want anyone to know he has a boyfriend yet, since they only started dating a few weeks ago. And after all, he only came with him because he had no other choice, since Bucky mentioned last minute he was supposed to pick her up at the airport and they were in the middle of a date. ''Well, it's nice to meet you, Lucas!'' but Y/N already put 2 and 2 together that they were together. The crimson color on Steve's cheeks didn't make it hard to guess.

''Steve, why is Bucky not here? He specifically told me he would be the one picking me up today...'' she asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer. ''The team got called out on a last minute mission for a few days, so he asked my to pick you up since I'm still not cleared for field work yet.'' he explained. Both Lucas and Steve took one of Y/N's suitcases after some protest, but they insisted so she just went with it. Once they were almost at the car, Y/N said ''it's okay if you sit in the front Lucas, my legs aren't as long as yours anyway so you could use the leg room.'' with a knowing wink to Steve, and he felt a little relieved when he saw that. They got in the front and he immediately put his hand on Lucas' thigh as he drove them home, and Y/N couldn't be happier for him, he deserves it. The ride was silent, but she didn't mind after such a long flight, she couldn't wait to see her bed again.

Steve drove them to the Avengers Compound like Tony had asked, so she could sleep at his place and be there with Pepper, that way she didn't have to be alone on the first few nights back. ''Hey Pepper, how is my favorite momma to be doing today?'' she said and smiled at her when she saw her round belly again. ''Actually, you're just on time, she just kicked again for the first time in a few days, and you'll be the first to feel it, even before Tony!'' she beamed at her, and put Y/N's hand on the place where she could feel the baby kick. It was such an amazing feeling, and Y/N honestly couldn't wait to experience a life growing inside of herself one day. It would never cease to amaze her what the human body was capable of.

''My god, this feels amazing. Does Tony know she kicked at all, or are you going to wait to tell him?'' ''He does know she kicked already, and told me specifically not to let anyone feel the kicks before he got the chance, but I just can't say no to you!'' Pepper laughed, making the baby kick again. The two ladies get comfortable on the couch, Pepper with a glass of water and Y/N with a glass of white wine, she felt like she deserved one after the trip she just had. ''I have to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone! Steve just picked me up from the airport and apparently he has a boyfriend! He came along, but the weird thing is that when he wanted to introduce himself as Steve's boyfriend, Steve quickly said he's his friend...'' It's a good thing she knows him by now and she knows Pepper won't tell anyone, but Y/N really had to tell someone.

A few days later, the entire team comes back from their mission, and Steve and Y/N decided to wait for them in the hangar where the Quinjet would land, so they could both welcome them home. They landed it safely and as soon as the ramp opened, everyone came running towards Y/N for the hugs they so desperately needed and she was so willing to give to them now. Everyone, except the person she wanted to see the most, Bucky. He didn't even look at them but instead just walked straight into the Compound without saying a word. ''Sam? What's going on with Bucky?'' she asked carefully, but she felt a stinging sensation in her chest because he didn't even care enough to look at her. ''I don't know, he was the same as always when you're not there. He was still this staring machine we all know and love.'' he said, but his brows were furrowed in worry now. This wasn't like Bucky, and all of them were wondering what was going on.

The next week doesn't change anything, Bucky just keeps himself locked in his room, this mission hit him harder than he thought it would, he should've just listened to Tony and stayed home. He knew this was gonna be a hard mission with his past with HYDRA, but he didn't want to admit it. And now he is locked in his own room, not willing to come out for anything or anyone, just alone with his own thoughts and nightmares. With the flashbacks that have taken him over completely. He doesn't notice when he gets texts or calls, he doesn't answer the door when someone is there. Not when Steve knocked, not when Y/N was there to talk to him. He didn't care about anything else, he just wanted all the thoughts and nightmares to stop. He wanted to stop crying but he couldn't, this mission had proven to be too much for Bucky.

After yet another week, Y/N comes up to his door and bangs on it, hard. She can't take it anymore and demands to be let into his room, this isn't healthy she says. ''Bucky, please. This isn't good for you, and we miss you man. Hell, I miss you the most. I just wanna see my boyfriend, I wanna be there for you. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I JUST WANNA HELP? Why doesn't that get through your thick skull?!'' she said, and that was a step too far for Bucky. He stormed out of his room and grabbed Y/N at her throat with his vibranium hand, squeezing harder than he intended but he just wanted her to stop talking. Steve and Tony heard something and came running into the hallway and went for Bucky and Y/N when they saw what was happening.

''BUCKY, WHAT THE FUCK! YOU'RE FUCKING HURTING HER!'' Steve yelled when he pulled Bucky off of Y/N with a firm tug, and they both fell back into his room. She collapsed onto her knees and tried to crawl away from him when Tony picked her up. ''It's okay honey, you're okay now. I won't let him hurt you, don't you worry about that.'' he said softly, reassuring her while trying to sooth her when she's crying and struggling to breathe. ''I'll take her to the medbay, please make sure he doesn't go anywhere near her Rogers!'' Tony said while rushing her off to see Bruce. When he was looking over Y/N Tony was calling Pepper and telling her what happened, saying that Y/N would be staying with them for a while longer, because he doesn't trust her anywhere around the Compound by herself right now.

As soon as Bucky pushed her against the wall, he immediately regretted his action, but his brain short circuited and he couldn't let go of Y/N. He had a release for his pent up anger, and was glad when Steve pulled him off of her, because God knows he couldn't have done it himself. He cried for hours and hours afterwards, not being able to comprehend the fact that he took his anger out on his perfect girlfriend. Although, he wasn't sure that's what he could call her now. Not after what he just did, and he couldn't wrap his head around why. He fucked up the one good thing in his life he had going for him since escaping HYDRA, since being back from Wakanda and having the Winter Soldier erased from him. But deep down he knew he would always be there, and this proved just that. He knew he didn't deserve her, but this is something he never meant to do. When he opened his bedroom door to go to the gym to get his anger out, he saw something silver shining on the floor. Y/N's necklace, he accidentally ripped it off her neck.

Bruce decided it would be the best to keep Y/N sedated for a little bit, in order for the pain medication to do it's work and for her to be able to breathe a little bit without pain. There are deep purple marks around her neck, wrapping almost all the way around, and she had a nasty head wound from where Bucky pushed her hard into the wall. ''I just don't fucking get why he would hurt her like that. She doesn't deserve this.'' Tony said to her dad, who he called too. He knew that the only other person she would want to have there, is her dad. ''Hey sunshine, it's dad. I'm not sure you can hear me, but I want you to know that I love you, so incredibly much. Tony called and I dropped everything, I literally dropped the apple pie I was making,'' he said laughing through his tears. ''You're safe now sunshine, everything is going to be okay.'' he said before he couldn't hold himself together any longer and started sobbing with his head on her hand, which he was holding with both hands.

When Y/N woke up, her dad and Tony were there, and she was happy to see the both of them, but at the same time she was in a lot of pain as well. ''Hey sunshine, it's okay. You don't have to talk, I know it hurts.'' her dad said with a soothing voice as he looked up to her. ''I have talked it over with Tony and we decided it is smart if you live with him and Pepper for a little while, so you can get back in the rhythm of work again once you're ready.'' and all she could do was give a small nod. ''I already got some of your clothes there, and some of your personal belongings like your laptop, iPad, some of your favorite books and a few photos, so you can make it a bit more like home.'' he said. Her dad gave her a kiss on her forehead and with a last 'I love you sunshine' he walked out the door and went back to the bakery, his heart feeling heavy in his chest.

It took about a week for Y/N to fully be settled into Tony and Pepper's house, which she would call home for the foreseeable future. She slowly got back into work, for now just working a few hours a day from home with Tony. The two of them took great care of her, and her dad visited most nights of the week after work. ''Hey sunshine, I'm happy to see you again!'' he said, and he was earlier than expected so he could join them for dinner. ''Hi dad.'' she said in a soft voice and a little smile. It broke his heart to see his little girl like this, but he's eternally grateful she's still alive, he even brought her favorite treat for dessert, his chocolate and caramel brownies.

After two weeks at their house, Y/N got a little restless and wanted to go back to the office again, even if it was just as an excuse to get out of the house. She didn't really want to see anybody there, the only one she could stand to see was Tony, and maybe Steve, but not the rest of them. When they get called in for an emergency meeting by Fury, they don't have a choice but to go. Tony doesn't want to leave Y/N alone, so she comes too. They walk into the conference room and to Y/N's delight, it's only Fury there. ''Hi Nick, how are you?'' she asks softly, and he can't believe what he's seeing. ''What the fuck happened here Y/N? You know I don't like my favorite person hurt like that?!'' Fury said, and Y/N couldn't help but smile when he said that. She loves the fact that a tough guy like Fury has such a soft spot for her. ''It's nothing, Nick. I'm fine now. It's just the bruising that has to go down, but it doesn't hurt anymore.''

''Fine? That doesn't look 'fine' to me. Who did this to you? Because I will personally and the motherfucker responsible for hurting you.'' Fury growled. ''Please don't, it has been handled. I promise!'' Y/N exclaimed, even though Bucky hurt her, he doesn't want any of that to happen to him. She feels like she deserved it, she had pushed him past his limit anyway. He didn't want to see her, and she shouldn't have bothered him. ''How is everything going at S.H.I.E.L.D.?'' Y/N asked, trying to change the topic, because she was not really comfortable talking about it. ''As long as everything still goes to shit I still have a job, so can't complain.'' he said, and he touched her arm with a soft, reassuring squeeze, letting her know he was on her side.

Slowly the Avengers walked into the room, and they were relieved when they saw Y/N was there, but they were worried that she wasn't her normal, cheerful self. Even though everyone knew what happened, nobody mentioned it, most of them just said hi or waved at her, until Steve came in. He walked straight up to her, asking for a hug. ''Is it okay if I hug you, Y/N? I just need to make sure you're still okay.'' and she agreed reluctantly. She wasn't in a hugging mood, but she didn't want to say no to Steve. Even though she didn't really hug him back, he still said how happy he was to see she was okay, before letting her go. Bucky walked into the room last, still looking a lot worse for wear, and Y/N immediately flinched at the look of him and went to stand behind Steve. ''It's okay, he won't hurt you again,'' Steve reassured her, keeping both his hands on her behind has back.

The moment Bucky walks into the conference room, he notices all eyes were looking to the front of the room, where he saw Y/N. They made eye contact and she flinched and quickly hid behind Steve when she saw him. He couldn't believe that he did that to her, he saw the purple handprint around her neck and his eyes were filled with regret. He sat down at the far end of the table and the briefing started, but all he noticed was Y/N, and the tears streaming down her face while Tony held her close and rubbed her back soothingly. He should be the one soothing her, not Tony. But he fucked that up when he attacked her, when he almost choked the life out of his precious doll. When the briefing was over, everyone slowly left the conference room, but Bucky stayed behind. ''Doll, can I just talk to you for a minute? I want to tell you how sorry-'' he started, but quickly got cut off by Tony.

''You don't get to call her doll anymore. You lost any and all privilege of that when you decided to hurt the one person who cared more for you than you could even imagine. When you hurt the woman who loved, hell, still loves you more than anything, but you had to go and fuck that up, didn't you? Because for some fucking reason, you can't see a good thing when it's right in front of you!'' Tony said, and Bucky got mad at him. ''You don't get to talk to me like that Stark. I would choose your next words carefully, or you'll be next.'' Bucky threatened him, and in his anger he punched the wall with his vibranium arm. This made Y/N flinch again and made her cry even harder, letting out long, hard sobs when she was held by Steve, in the safety of his arms. Bucky's gut just got filled with more and more regret when he saw that.

[lostbetweenthepagesofthesebooks]

"We learn from failure, not from success!" (Dracula, Stoker, p. 130)

Since I claim to love vampires so much, I figured I better do myself a favor and be able to tell people I've read Dracula. I should also probably do myself a favor and read Interview With a Vampire as well, especially since I didn't love Dracula. Maybe I'll find more enjoyment from the latter. I'd love to hear opinions from those that have read both.

Dracula

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Characters: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Plot: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Writing style: ⭐⭐⭐

I think my experience with Dracula was definitely worth it, even if it felt like a bit of a slog for me. I certainly don't regret reading the book, but I highly doubt I'll be reading it again if I'm being honest. I really wish I had received my Kindle at this point so I didn't have to own a physical copy of the book - more so because the apartment feels like it's bursting with books at the moment. I can't wait for a home so I can have a library already.

Stoker's overall writing in describing the setting, the dialogue, the world building, was very good in my opinion. I was pulled into that world. There were times I was tense from the suspension building, frustrated when Dracula thwarted the main characters on multiple occasions, and experienced the shared grief amongst the characters. My three stars more so comes from the diary aspect. I realized maybe halfway through that I was struggling with the book because of these aspect. For me, the diary entries aspect didn't feel quite enough. I feel like with third POV in books you get to experience the whole picture, like watching a movie on widescreen.

I will also add that I got frustrated with the multiple occasions were Dracula escapes the main characters. This vein is similar to Fevre Dream to me... I love a good suspension building, but I think there's a point where it gets too drawn out. There were plenty of chapters where you feel on the brink of success, and then it's gone, and all of the characters are super dramatic when this occurs; particularly Van Helsing, which I did find a bit entertaining.

The plot to overthrow Dracula is very fun though, even if it happens multiple times. It's interesting to watch the characters come together based on their strengths in order to carry out their plans. The characters themselves I felt were all fairly unique, which I really appreciated. I will say, though, I think the most interesting character was Renfield. I would definitely read more about him, if given the opportunity.

I would recommend reading Dracula, at least once. I feel like I can't go into too much more depth about the story and the characters without giving vital parts away, so this is definitely a shorter review. It also doesn't help that, like I said, I didn't love this book. Dracula is an important book to the horror genre, and really the fantasy genre, so I am glad I read it as a starter to horror and vampire books in general.

Read on beautiful people. 📖🤘

[cherris-n-peaches]

January so far (16/01/23)

The new year actually started kind of cool.

I'm a journalist, so I got my paycheck with a raise (which I wasn't expecting) that was double the amount I received on December. That gave me the opportunity to buy myself a Kindle. It's the first big buy I've made, and it felt amazing. So far I've finished two book, thanks to it and just started a new one.

Also, the reader arrived just in time for my birthday. My father bought me flowers, that I wasn't expecting.

Besides having some up and downs due to familiar, personal and academic issues, I've been doing great. This year, I decided, am going to romanticize my life and -finally- start living the way I want to live. I don't feel ready to get into a romantic relationship (despite the feminine urge of wanting to sleep with a guy holding me), so I will just focus on work, university and friends. I hope that works.

Between January and December I've cooked, I've baked, I've gone to parties I never thought I would, I've eaten delicious food and almost, ALMOST, went on a date. Like I said, not ready for that yet.

Also, today I had a pretty cool afternoon. I had to go to buy my friend a present for her birthday, so I did that and then enjoyed the cloudy hours I got left while waiting for the bus. Then, when I got home, I put on some comfy clothes, fix two skirts that I wasn't wearing and made myself a hot chocolate (sadly, I'm from Argentina and it's summer in here, so it wasn't my brightest idea, but ✨ we're romanticizing ✨, remember).

For the rest of the week, I have some exciting activities that I'm really looking forward to. Tomorrow it's my dad's birthday; on Wednesday I'm going to the Van Gogh's museum experience; Thursday is my friends birthday, so we're having a picnic and on Friday I'm going to the lake with her and another friend.

I hope everything works out right, and that I have enough self esteem to endure this activities.

Pd: I don't know if anybody its going to read this. I'm writing just to practice my English and to get some thoughts out of my head. Besides, I'm tryna live my best dark academia-cottagecore-librarian-journalist-indie girlye life, so... This. If someone IS reading this, wish me luck and I'll do the same for you. Blessed be🌟

[count-von-kit]

A friend of mine calls it "drop everything and read".

For the last two weeks I decided to do this thing where, because of how stressful work has been, once I clock out at the end of my shift I mentally clock out as well. I work from home, so I stare at a computer from 8-5 doing data entry. I am also a writer, so add in the additional time of staring at my non-working computer from 5pm up through 11pm or sometimes even midnight. It's not entirely kind on the eyes, but also my attention span scattered quicker than the little dust sprites from Spirited Away. Between that and the frequent writer's block I decided to do something a friend of mine calls "drop everything and read".

I know the benefits of reading, especially as a writer. But I remember I was already apprehensive because it made me feel alone and isolated. In some instances it also felt like I was forcing that loneliness onto myself and using it as a not so great way to escape, as I once told my therapist. It felt obligatory and forced when I was doing it earlier this year - like I was doing it because "well everyone else is busy, so I guess I'll do this instead of sitting around waiting". But this time around I didn't feel that way. It was something I genuinely wanted to do. I genuinely wanted to experiment on myself, and make note of the changes. For context, in some cases my work gets to be stressful to where I have an inability to disconnect, and because of how I grew up it becomes extremely difficult for me to detach from such things at an emotional level and it kind of ruins the whole evening or weekend for me. I don't like to vent to my friends often, so most of that emotional distress gets bottled up. I decided in that instance that once I clocked out of work and tended to my household chores I would drop everything and read. From when I finish my chores right up through bedtime. You could view that as roughly 5-6 hours worth of reading time. My cat was very much a fan of me doing this because he likes to lay beside me, so there were very few cons when I decided, "Fuck it. Let's do this."

Far as results go, last week I noticed great benefits to my mood. Nothing shocking about that. This week, while I wasn't so lucky in the mood department, I was able to still feel accomplished in some degree. From Monday through Friday last week, and Monday and Tuesday of this week, I plowed through books 1-5 of MDZS [the core story, not counting the extra chapters]. Five books in a span of seven days. I found the only real downside was that I couldn't stop thinking of all the characters when I went to bed, and in some cases it made it difficult for when I wanted to daydream about my own stories. But as far as everything else went it left me feeling a bit better. I mean, outside of getting brushed off at work I did have the urge to sit down and work on my story. So that already shows me what I was trying to gain from my experiment.

I haven't noticed much else as far as if it has necessarily helped with lifting my frequent bout of writer's block. Normally I try to draft things by hand because I find myself too distracted at my personal computer which only adds to my struggles. But what I did notice is the will to write returning to me along with a kindling of inspiration. I feel nurtured in some way because of this. So as I gradually continue with this I am hoping to at some point finish more to my story and/or start posting my fantasy project. I guess we'll see where August takes me. Sometimes it's necessary to just give a middle finger to all the happenings and life, and drop everything to simply read. Work might be shit at times, but it cannot keep my from reading about my gays.

[danniswrites]

Adia, One Of Prophecy

Editing Now! Update on this and what to read to get ready for the Battle Of The Cubes!

Vol. 02 in the Adia Series Part of the Battle Of The Cubes Project main storyline.

Worried Adia, new Queen Of Ye~ wants to save thirteen galaxies by defeating Eriganh, host of the Red Cube Of Fire using her White Cube Of Light, most powerful of the telepathic weapon-Cubes. But, her new Zheien body endangers her life when she sees futures, and they keep coming. Her talent cannot show her when Eriganh will come to the quiet front yard of a house on Elizabeth Street in Atlanta, Georgia. And, she must gather a few chosen Earthans for the battles after this. None of them except for her skilled husband, Ryonne~, can help her in the Final Battle. Every future she sees brings illness, and she can’t stop. Memories of futures come closer together with each passing day on Earth. Some of them have no connection to Cubes or the battle in the Council, the tech level above ours. Adia’s family worries that her health cannot last. The Emperor Of The Six already destroyed ten percent of the worlds in the Thirteen, and now he is coming to Earth. Adia fears that if she cannot defeat Eriganh, all is lost, for the worlds of thirteen terrified galaxies. Second Volume in the Adia Series. Coming in 2024.

This is my new novel, currently in editing for #Jul2024 #CampNaNoWriMo. Project Pin on Pinterest Adia, One Of Prophecy Pinterest

Pandora DS Fave Soundtracks, music to write by

I don't create a playlist for each book. I just have this vast playlist of 'emotional' music from many genres. DS refers to Diplomatic Service, my fictional diplomatic talent pool. If there is interest I'll create a beta version of the deleted chapters on Wattpad.

Read Adia, Scientist to get ready for Vol. 2

Adia, Scientist Doomed scientist strives to discover a new fuel as War moves closer, but her experiment explodes! Now Adia realizes just how vital her work is, and who threatens it, when a visiting scientist offers help.

If you don't want to wait for chapters, the Kindle is 0.99 USD

Paperback ISBN 979-8371373618 7.99 USD

Hardcover ISBN 979-8371432889 15.99 USD

Read it for free here Royal Road

or on Wattpad

Then, read Molly's Miracle Colonies Molly is in high school at 12, already has her RN, and wants to be a doctor. Adia showed her a future in which she creates Rainbow Unwell Colony at 15. Leaders of the Alb System believe in her and already created Rainbow Unwell Colonies on 25 worlds in the Alb System.

Royal Road

Or On Wattpad

New chapters drop on Tu, Th and Sat at 1 am Wattpad will finish first because I want to enter Adia, Scientist and Molly's Miracle Colonies in the Watty Awards and the Amby Awards soon.

Becky's Gift

Sickly college student Becky dreams of a handsome prince to take her away, but her college dream just died and she's sick with COVID. SETI brings a prince to her door so she, with her family, travels to a new world and her husband's small colony, but it's not a happily-ever-after, unless her random Gift can find their enemies!

Workaholic high school student learning programming, Ella Farnsworth, stays busy to cope with her dysfunctional family. Farley gives her a pocket computer the day SETI discovered aliens. When he offers her a ride home, he reveals her future. Suddenly, to save his life, she has to marry him and she and her family travel to his home. His people moved to a new world and healers need her skills to save lives. Nothing about the memories she has of their marriage and where they live is the same, except her love for her new husband, and fear of his death.

Becky's Gift and Ella's Saga also tie into the Battle Of The Cubes but they are side stories. They focus on Esta Faho, once a small mining colony, now a city in Rahn Estar Prov, and there are 3 more stories connected with Esta Faho to come.

Granny's SETI Goblin

Aine is on her way to a nursing home placement when her granddaughter gives her a toy goblin, but SETI has other ideas.

Royal Road

Granny's SETI Goblin is my entry into the Royal Road Community Magazine for Jul 2024. It's a novelette and also part of the Battle Of The Cubes, but more of a side story.

Also on Wattpad.

After Adia, One Of Prophecy will come Ray, Host

[messofmoss]

saturday, june 22, 2024

8:31am

i just slept for 11 hours. i got home from work and basically just passed out. my phone is half dead. my whole body hurts. i had a whole handprint on my arm when i woke up lol

there were many times my mind was racing yesterday and i wanted to write here but i was working and couldn't. i feel like writing it down helps a bit because instead of rattling around in my brain, it's pouring out here. like a bit of release and relief.

my head hurts. it hurt a lot yesterday too. i forgot to take my pills. i haven't missed a day in awhile. i was missing a refill and i was going to take them when i got the missing part but forgot about it.

i feel shitty. i don't want to go to work today. or do anything really. slept 11 hours and i just want to go back to sleep. sleep 11 more hours. i hate work. i don't want to go. i don't want to be around humans. i just want to be in my dark cave with my cats and my kindle and my pillow. i didn't even get to enjoy my days off because it was too hot to exist.

i feel like crying right now. i don't want to go so bad. i can't just call out every weekend though. ugh

10:19am

i sent her a minute of voice messages and all she says back is "okayyy" an hour later. really nothing to say at all??? why do i even bother

5:15pm

teary in the car again. i think julia is mad at me for calling her a hater. i was only teasing.

as SOON as she opened my last voice message, she started typing and said she was going to bed. she hadn't even listened to half of it yet. that voice was my attempt to change the subject. i said "i'm going to try to befriend the new girl at work tonight" the one i had told her might be a lesbian. idk i'm just so sad.

lilly told me to back off her and see if she reaches out to me first. i feel like she won't because last night i fell asleep and forgot to send her good morning message and when i woke up, she had read my last message and just... didn't say anything to me.

8:40pm

i can't enjoy my free time because i made a plan and that plan isn't until monday morning but like it takes away future planned free time before work and now i'll have to be out doing something and now i am just in a perpetual state of anxiety waiting for that thing. and it's like when you have a dentist appt at like 2pm so you can't enjoy your morning because you're just waiting for the appointment. i hate transition periods. i used to tell brogan to not tell me if he had to leave in like 10 or 20 minutes or whatever because then i wouldn't be able to enjoy that time anymore because it would feel like we are in a transition phase and it just makes me stupid anxious. the plan for monday is to go to clifton park at 8am to pick up thomas from the mechanic and hang with him til i have to work. i just hate making plans in general. i hate weekends because i have to work. i hate feeling trapped. work schedule makes me feel trapped. making plans makes me feel trapped.

also i have acid reflux/heartburn whatever for the first time in aaaaages and i hate it so much. i think it's because i've had pan pizza two days in a row at work. i need to get back to my diet. i feel like shit. i look like shit. i am shit. i look at my reflection and i don't even recognize my face anymore. like who the fuck is that? why do i look like that?

[fendsworld]

A Coin Has Two Sides, Mine Has Three: My Medusa of Perceptions

CHAPTER 1

The Old Testament of Living: A Guilt-Tripping Story

It's easy to demonize human gratification for ease and comfort when we talk about life in mundanity. To buy the idea that regardless of today's gift of advancement, we must opt to kindle the roots and deny the savor of its fruits. While this is equally idealistic and nostalgic, there may be peeks in the idea we must consider.

To a degree, it was never just a matter of predilection but of life's demand. In this fast-paced world, you could feel slowed down. Perhaps, with the pressure, it comes in terms of your ways and means. Nevertheless, there's a staggering tag and pull of going where, why, and how. Comfort is a luxury, and not everyone can afford it. Which makes people differ in their paces and graces. There's a cost for a 6 that's the reality. We pay to exist. We live through rates. And we fill our cups. There's no other way around. Unless, of course, if privilege is your cherry on top. Which is unfortunately, is not served at every diner.

Another thing is romanticization in the guise of denial as an untackled facet. While we are all entitled to unsubscribe to popular opinion, lapses in this kind hint at a slippery slope of stagnancy; that in one way or another impedes collective ascendance. A rejection of modernity and an embrace of tradition that screams patriotism of some sort without utter intention. Others may argue that this is a capitalist take. But truth be told, it goes beyond the confining bounds of that, but of mindful inadvertence and a pose to challenge innovation per se. Which raises a question, what for, then? Why must we castigate a lending hand? Because it’s a splinter-in-the-toe ego thing? 

In a practical sense, inevitability should be weaponized to good use; a rear mirror to potentials and possibilities. That if pursued becomes a catalyst to development. As we all know, is an economy’s pivotal component. Hence, to disregard this very fact speaks the same utterance of self-sabotage and impediment vis-à-vis. A pledge to regression.

CHAPTER 2

Melancholia and the Glimpse of I

On a lighter note, if we're not to cast our issues unto the very essence of welcoming change, there's also something to reminisce about as we move forward. Say the easier times. The simpler life. How things are supposed to be and how they used to make us feel. Besides, moving forward doesn't mean forgetting, right? It only means moving with whatever comes along with openness and utmost acceptance.

To stir an aroma of nostalgia, I remember when I was a kid, I used to be fond of reading. I loved everything 'lit': short stories, myths, riddles, idioms, you name it. Whenever we'd go to the market, I’d always ask to be brought something to read. And when I turned into a young teen, I started collecting teen mags like Candy and Total Girl magazines. I loved waiting for every month's issue. Who the magazine cover would be and the exclusive freebies it would come with. It's such a joy to see the new magazine's issue on a rack whenever I go to the mall because I know one's coming home with me. Not long enough, I also started reading the book series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid counter: Dork Diaries. And so, as some Wattpad books. From that, I resorted to reading novels and self-help books. I just so happen to have a slump, I am still battling up to this date. 

The print really helped me a lot through life. It gave me a safe space. Another world to live in. An escape from whatever pains me. It was a home back then. A solitary comfort. And my piece of adventure. There's so much more to say, but I think that this could describe enough. Sometimes, I wish I still had that yearning in me. Because I feel like I lost it. But I believe, sometime around, I’d get it again. I'll feel it again. There's just a lot going on right now that I am still yet to care about. Hasta Mañana, then.

CHAPTER 3

Mellow Blues Played on Sundays

Growing up with shelf-long people in my early years influenced how I view life and how I opt to experience it. The old always felt warm. The old always felt good. But the old is bound to be replaced. And it’s the way to go. Nevertheless, there’s a chokehold of comfort and peace to rest in the caress of it. And perhaps, a glory it owns.

Before print was used for entertainment, it once served as people’s compass. To life’s how, what, when, and where. It did a lot more than it is credited for. It was, in a way, rudimentary to people’s lives at a time. In which, it was needed more than it is now, prior to the conquer of revolution to mankind. It fed people. It taught people. It helped people. And beyond. Although the rift and shifts the phenomena call, it is still yet to prove it that will never die. But perhaps has to constantly thrive. Manic as it sounds, it coughs difficulty and wheezes effort. But it does not deny, it succumbs. And it pars with good grace. A merit we can warrant it for.

Perhaps people would say, the industry it creates as it accommodates change is far-fetched sedentary, unreal, and half-as-good. Which I beg to disagree. As I don’t think, it should be taken as that. As it’s merely obligated but hence as purposeful and productive, just less the proclivity it holds. Nevertheless, substance goes beyond the structure. And the riff-off is unintentional and not inherently dismissive. It’s just that, it’s time-bound and corollary. As how human life is designed to be. Humanity tied in a string of incessant changes. To end, this is not a rival but an attempt to survive – by book or by crook. And the saving happens when we cherish and remember.

[penwieldingdreamer]

Falling for you

The second installment of my drabble series. Let me know what you think about it. A big thank you again to @fortheloveoffanfic for being my beta 💗 Happy reading everyone

Also here are the songs played at the pub:

Bean Pháidín , Tell me Ma-Gaelic Storm , Galway Girl - Fiddler's Green

Summary: A few weeks later finds the reader in all kinds of embarrassing situations - mostly tripping over stuff or falling over people - right in front of Lee

Warnings: none, besides fluff, clumsiness and a little tinge of jealousy

Words: 2231

Another day on the set of the second installment of the Hobbit series and already you felt like the clumsiest of all people on set. Either you’d slip, trip or let stuff fall to the ground. But it wasn’t random, it only happened whenever you were around Lee or in his close proximity.

James and Martin had made fun of the fact that it would only happen with the tall actor, but you waved them off and of course Benedict chimed into the scheme.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re falling for the King, luv.” he said one time while the four of you had been granted a break from filming. “You make a fool out of yourself because there’s that one person that makes your heart skip a beat.”

Angrily shuffling your food around the plate, you glared at the British actor. “Well thank you for the vote of confidence. If you hadn’t said it I wouldn’t have known I was such a joke on set.”

“What Ben means to say, dear,” James started, putting his hand on your arm. “is, that when you feel something for another person you get clumsy, do crazy things or fall all over yourself because you can’t concentrate around them. All three of us went through that when we met the women we knew would one day be our wives. It has nothing to do with you being bad at your work, the opposite, actually.”

Reluctantly you nodded your head, feeling like you just made a fool out of yourself again in front of those that were your friends. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve never been like that before and I fear if this happens more Pete will get tired of me messing up. I don’t want to lose this job.”

“You won’t,” Martin said with so much conviction, you couldn’t help but give him a small, teary smile. “Peter isn’t like that. He values your work as part of the crew and how you bring up new ideas or possible changes. Now if you were to set the whole place on fire that would be another case.”

Ben and James laughed softly and you couldn’t help the giggle escaping your lips when you listened to him. You were very lucky to have friends like them or you’d probably would have resigned after the first incident. “Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed this.” you said sending them a grateful smile. "But now I got to head back to work. The king on his throne is waiting for me."

All three laughed before Martin called after you. "Be careful up there and if you fall, fall in his lap, that's a lot more comfortable than the ground." he joked when you had turned back to the three actors but waved him off with your own middle finger. You knew he had a knack for putting his fingers up for the camera when he shouldn't and you were sure there were some scenes he snuck his middle finger in, just like he always did.

A chorus of laughter followed as you righted your work bag and made your way back to the set with Thranduil's throne.

Orlando stood underneath it, grinning up at Lee dressed up as the Elvenking and waited his turn. "Looking good, dad." he called with a chuckle and you could see the tall actor grin.

"Thank you, son. I feel very good up here." he answered leaning back on the chair, trying to fix his robes and wig as best as he could while a few strands were hanging in the branches of his crown.

Peter saw you emerging from the mass and called you over. "Ah, Y/N, good that you're here. Lee's just had a bit of a stumble up the stairs but we'll be doing a few headshots of him and well, you see the mess."

"Sure, I'll get right on it." you told him, taking a deep breath and steeling yourself so you'd be as relaxed as possible while working on fixing the actor. When he saw you approaching, Lee stood up and made to walk down, but you halted him with a motion of your hand. "Stay, I'm coming up so there's no repeat of that."

He stayed standing, watching you make your way up the stairs. Thank God there were handrails just in case. "If you insist

I could have come down, didn't want you to fall to your doom, dear mortal."

"Charms get you everywhere, huh?" you asked him with a grin as you ascended to the Weta built throne, pointing to the seat so he would sit back down again, keeping his long legs tugged to chair so you could start your work on his hair.

"So far it worked out rather well, I think." He told you, smiling as you gently pulled a strand away from the branch of his crown.

You couldn't help the small smile forming on your face as you listened to his jokes while you freed the last of his hair and righted his crown. A final touch of powder over his nose and you were finished. "Now, you're all done and you're looking regal again." You packed up your bag and turned to descend the stairs when you lost your footing and if it hadn't been for Lee's swift reaction, you would have tumbled down.

Short puffs of breath were leaving your mouth when you held on tightly to his shoulders, his arms circling your waist as you had fallen into his lap with that move. "Hello there." he whispered, watching your shocked face, eyes blown wide with fear. "You okay?"

Biting your lip, you couldn't help but enjoy the feel of his hands on your hip, the warmth spreading through your clothes. "I-I'm sorry, I, the stairs…I guess…missed steps." you brokenly mumbled, apparently having forgotten how to talk when you looked into his blue eyes. The contact lenses only intensified his gaze.

"Yeah, they're dangerous." Lee agreed, his head leaning closer, the rest of the world around you forgotten.

Yet before he could close the gap, Peter interrupted you with a loud whistle. "If you two turtledoves are ready, we'd like to continue." he called out to you with a chuckle. Of course everyone had seen that and you already felt the heat of your blush rising all over your body.

Carefully, yet hastily you scrambled off of Lee's lap and made your way down the stairs and to the back of the set. You would have loved for the ground to swallow you up when Benedict had come over and grinned at you.

"So, I don’t think you will tell me what that up there was.” he said matter of fact, knowing you wouldn’t even be able to describe it.

“Nope,” you said, eyeing the actor and PJ going over the next scenes with a dummy. “I’d rather leave it like it is. This is just too embarrassing."

He put his arm around your shoulders pulling you close. Martin was just walking around the corner having seen the whole thing and he instantly knew you'd be shutting down, only doing your work and nothing more, keeping your distance from Lee. The Brit found the eyes of his friend and co-Sherlock-actor, nodding once, then twice. They were your friends and could see that the sparks between their fellow actor and you were there, now they only needed to kindle the fire.

"Oh, this is wonderful." you gushed, looking around the Irish pub everyone decided to visit at the eve of their day off. "It's been too long since I had so much fun besides being on set."

Already the ciders and beers and whisky were flowing and everyone was laughing and singing with the band that played that night. James had decided to take a row of tables next to the musicians so the cast and crew that wanted to go there would fit into the seats.

"You all deserve a time off after the amazing work you did." Peter said, raising his pint of Guinness for a toast. You all followed suit, calling out a shout of "Hear, hear."

Laughing and listening to all the stories everyone was telling about their time on set, you enjoyed the feeling of warmth that spread through you. Not because of the alcohol but because of your family away from home.

"Are you enjoying the music?" James asked after a short while, himself listening to the tunes and words from his home country.

Nodding your head, you clapped your hands to the rhythm and smiled as a few people started to dance to the songs you couldn't understand the lyrics to. “What is she singing about?” you asked him, leaning in so he could understand the words with the louder music.

"It’s a really old Irish song, dating back hundreds of years in Ireland. This is one of the funny old Irish songs that is sung by a woman, and she sings about another woman." the Irish actor tried to explain over the loud music. "Back in the day women would get together and sing this song about the woman in town that was married to the man that they all wanted to be married to. ‘It’s a pity that I’m not Phaidin’s wife,’ and this woman who’s married to him, they hate her, and as the verses go on, they talk about what they’d like to do to her, like they want to break her legs and get rid of her and do anything to be this man’s wife. It’s a fun song. Irish music is like that. When you translate the words, sometimes it’s like gruesome and dark, but they’re meant in a lighthearted way."

You were always blown away by the way such a story could be shown in a nice tune. "The music is so lively, you'd never guess it's such a sad and dark story behind it."

"That's just the way the Irish are." James grinned at you before another song was starting.

"For our next song we'd love for you guys to get up, dance some more and just have fun." the female singer announced and waved to all patrons in the pub. The violin, banjo and drum began to play the first chords before the singer joined in. "Tell me ma when I go home, the boys won't leave the girls alone."

Benedict and James smiled at you, holding their hand out and pulled you from your seat and onto the provided dance floor where others had already started twirling around. "Let's dance and have some fun." the Brit said, giving you a twirl.

You couldn't help the smile that found its way on your lips as you danced around with the two actors, unbeknownst of the dark blue eyes following your moves. The dance was exhilarating and both James and Ben led you through the steps, jumping and twirling with other patrons until you were out of breath and another song was over.

When you came back to get something to drink you saw one of the seats being vacant. Lee was missing from the group of merry friends and you leaned over to Orlando, who had been sitting besides him. "Where did your dad disappear to?" you asked him, mirth coloring your words as you took a large sip of your drink.

He turned to you and smiled, patting the seat next to him, so you didn't have to stand. You were grateful for that with your feet aching from all the dancing you did with his fellow actors. "He said he needed to get back to the hotel, his flight back to the States is taking off early." Orlando said and your face must have shown your confusion as you didn't know Lee was needed back in America. "Shooting for Guardians of the Galaxy is starting in a few days and he wanted to get back earlier so he arranged it in the last few days. Peter knew about it, I'm surprised he didn't tell you."

"Oh, no, I really didn't know and Lee hadn't mentioned anything before." the disappointment colored your words and you sank back down in your seat. You couldn't help the feeling that it was something that recently happened and especially something you did or he would have been open enough to talk to you.

The British actor patted your leg and grinned. "Don't worry, he'll be back before you know it. Once he's done with that movie Lee's going to annoy us again with his dad jokes."

Nodding your head, you tried to feel confident, but still you didn't know why he didn't at least wait until you were back at the table to say his goodbyes. No he just left without so much as a word. Of course you were only there doing his make - up and hair but you had hoped that in the time you worked together you at least had become friends. Giving the dark haired actor a small smile you made your way back to your corner seat, staring off into space and trying not to get too drunk on your cider while thinking about why not even Peter had bothered to tell you his Elvenking was leaving the set sooner than planned.

Taglist:

@fortheloveoffanfic @toomanystoriessolittletime @omgkatinka @fuck-yeah-hope @wholelottatiffy @axshadows ​@a-really-bi-girl @madbaddic7ed @maggiemoo1892 @pinkzsugar @agniavateira @mary-ann84 and everyone else who wants to read this.

[nursegracecreates]

A List of Shit Grace Has to Deal with On a Daily Basis

So here I am again, sharing about myself while waiting on asks

I'll be the first to admit that I'm hard to live with. I know it.

Me overall: I'm blunt, quiet, sometimes stoic, and lost in thought. And that's on a good day. On bad days, I'm moody, unresponsive, and honestly can be a complete asshole. And still others, I let all the shit that's happened in my life get to me. On those days, I barely make it out of bed. And Grace has learned to navigate these moods, but I know it wasn't easy.

Being a Worrier: I'm a fidgeter, a habit grown out of anxiety. I don't like to sit still for too long, and if I have to, I'm going to be messing with something with my hands. Lighters, pocketknives, multitools, fidget spinners, Rubix cubes, if it can be shoved in my pocket, I've fidgeted with it. Grace says she's my worry stone because when I'm not working, I'm messing with her hands, her hoodie strings, her hair. I've got to be one of the clingiest significant others in the world.

Coming home bloody: While I don't track blood in like Jeff, or Kate, I always manage to miss that one speck of blood. And Grace always finds it. It doesn't really upset her, my work, but I like to let her have as much of a normal life as she can now. And bringing home blood doesn't help that.

The absentminded SO: I can be very absentminded 😅. Projects get left half finished, I read multiple books at the same time, zone out thinking while writing reports, leaving things out. Grace is always cleaning up behind me, sometimes I leave the milk out, or the bread open. I don't mean to be. I just have a lot on my mind. Between work things, my past, my schizophrenia... it can get overwhelming sometimes and I forget what I'm doing

Vices: I'm only human, I have a few vices. I smoke, mostly when I'm working. This is from working with Masky and Tim. I can at least say I've found common ground with both, but part of that involved sharing cigarettes with them for years. I hid it from Grace at first, but she eventually caught me (I thought she would be disappointed, being a nurse and all), but like always, she was pretty understanding about it. And now I don't have to sneak around if I want one away from work.

I also use cannabis, but that's more of a medicinal thing. It helps me manage my schizophrenia and my ptsd, as well as my insomnia. And this is my obligatory don't do drugs disclaimer. I have a legitimate prescription.

Dad jokes: I have a very dry sense of humor, but like to try to lighten the mood sometimes. I also like trying to make Grace smile, but she says my jokes are dad jokes. If one of my jokes flops, I repeat them until it becomes funny. I like to be difficult sometimes, especially if I know something will get under someone's skin. What can I say? I was a little brother once. It's what we do best.

I love making fires. I probably make one on a daily basis, though usually in a firepit or fireplace. Something about the process soothes me. Making and collecting kindling. Feeding a flame with my breath until it catches enough to put larger wood on. Tending to it so it doesn't get too big, but doesn't go out. It's an art as much as it is a science.

And that's all you get for now. If you want to know more, send in an ask 🙃

[dark-ink-drinker]

dAdIn my mind, I have a bit of a soft spot for classic story retellings, especially when they get an LGBT spin to them but I had yet to find one I was interested in reading. Peter Darling has been on my list for awhile now and I finally broke down and decided to buy it for Kindle after waiting far too long for it to show up on my free reading on Prime.

It will be tricky to review this one without giving away too much so there may be a bit of spoilers in here.

In the beginning, Peter is coming back to Neverland after being away for 10 long years. He had gone back home, giving up on all his childhood adventures to live the life he was supposed to live... the life he was born into. (His actual identity and his family are the biggest spoiler so I'll try not to mention them). He returns to Neverland because he finds that no matter how hard he tries to be who the world, who his family, wants him to be, he just... can't. He can't escape his nature. He IS Peter Pan, he can't be anyone else. But coming back, he finds everything is different-- his lost boys have changed, the pirates have changed... their games have changed. There is peace between the lost boys and the pirates. When Peter Pan tries to treat everything like before, he finds there are real consequences.

As Peter struggles to find his place in this new version of Neverland, he finds there might be more than rivalry between him and an old foe... and that they may have more in common than he ever thought before.

I genuinely enjoyed the twists this book put on the old classic and the love story that develops. It's definitely an adult retelling. My only real complaint is that I wish there had been a little more development and detail into the characters. I wanted to know more about what Peter was going through and more of his relationship with Captain Hook now that things had changed. That may have just been me being greedy lol