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#i'm a little unclear tbh
pangolen · 7 months
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natreads · 6 months
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I got a job as a bookseller!!!
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wild-at-mind · 1 year
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(this is about trans stuff)
Probably need to get counselling about the fact that I’m so scared that my hormone balance is my personality.
#the cycle#so like i tend to associate my feelings with the Cycle position (menstral) that i happen to be in#so i feel strong and confiden and vivacious? upswing towards ovulation#sad and delicate? downswing towards menstruation#just being biologically essentialist or whatever some people say#thing is a lot of stuff about the effect of trans related HRT can read a little :/ if you're not feeling it#so the obvious example is gendercritical assholes saying trans women talking about feeling more emotional after starting hrt is misogyny#i actually think being emotional is not a bad thing tbh so they are tipping their own hands there#and also actually a lot of trans women seem to associate this change with positive things#but i'm talking about the way people talk about testosterone#a lot of people talk about the effects like it totally changed their personality tbh even if they don't realise it#it's scary like are our personalities our hormones????#someone on this ftm group i'm on said they were having difficulty forming romantic connections with people after a couple of years on T#and people were like 'well you're just aromantic it's fine! oh you weren't before HRT? well this is what your true#authentic self is then don't worry about it!'#like to be clear it was unclear from the post whether this guy needed reassurance that being aromantic is normal#or if he was bothered by it and wanted to change it#if first then the responses are fine#but if 2nd then .....wtf are the implications of this? is our sexuality and romantic inclination ALSO our hormones???#i don't think i'm wrong or crazy to feel weird about the idea of my personality changing and that my hormomes might be effecting it#kind of like how my personality is always shaped by depression and/or medication i'm taking for it#but it's scary like i only just got to know this brain i can't change it i'm FREAKING OUT#i feel like other trans people wouldn't want to talk to me about this because it sounds like i'm saying transphobic talking points. :(#but i really am scared of my personality changing.#if i go on t that is#can anyone talk to me about this on here?
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quatregats · 2 years
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Chapter 3 may or may not be roughly finished 👀👀👀
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ladyluscinia · 7 months
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2x08 Reaction #2
That episode feels like it was fundamentally confused about what it wanted to do or say.
They open with a long (why was it so long?) sequence that positions Edward running away to be a fisherman as the dumbest thing he's ever done in his life. Not for BlackBonnet reasons, either. Like he's explicitly a moron because he has no fucking idea what he's doing or how to live this impulsive normal guy life.
(It's not even really that funny once they start doing the "Pop Pop" dinner scene tbh - it's kind of uncomfortable.)
He gets sent back to the Republic to reclaim being Blackbeard, and idk if the episode itself even knows if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Like the "welp, the one thing I'm good at is murder" vibe in his little rowboat and the Kraken rising out the waves feel bad, but reuniting with Stede and then proceeding to brag about and compliment murder techniques with Zheng is... not that.
And then his (passably) happy ending is... retiring with Stede into a different fantasy impulsive normal guy life that he has no fucking idea what he's doing in. Only that's good this time? Or obviously a monumental fuckup setting up S3 but we're supposed to pretend it's good since we don't want the season ending on a sad note?
We get Izzy making a great speech on how piracy is belonging to a found family of outcasts, and then his dying speech to Edward is about how he encouraged a "darkness" in him to keep him in piracy with Izzy. Izzy's dying sentiment to Edward is that Izzy is not his only family, he's surrounded by a crew who loves him (unclear when that happened), and then Edward moves into an abandoned shack with his boyfriend and Izzy's grave out front while the crew sails away into the sunset very much not surrounding Edward with love.
Stede is seeking pirate validation all episode but also he's done with piracy in the last scene - again: happy ending or disaster we're pretending to be happy about if they cancel? Wow isn't it funny how the realistic hardships of this BlackBonnet ending (moving into a shack together with nothing but unaddressed trauma baggage) will become funny obstacles because muppet logic. Don't think to hard about the guy who died from an accidental bullet to the side with no important organs because this is a pirate story and we needed to symbolically kill piracy in the episode about the pirates surviving to symbolically carry on the inherent goodness of piracy.
Like fuck I am SO confused and not even in a "time to rewatch and suss out the themes way."
Just a "well they've absolutely lost the plot, huh" way.
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capurriccino · 4 days
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Some Jiyan Fun Facts
SPOILERS: Chapter 1 Act V and Act VI, Jiyan's Companion Quest and pretty much everything in Jiyan's profile
I got the source of Jiyan's character stories from his profile in the Wuthering Waves fandom wiki, and his voicelines in game.
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- As I mentioned in one of my posts, Jiyan is around 23 years old.
From what Yangyang retold in the beginning of Ch1 Act V, we know that Jiyan became General after the "Battle Beneath the Crescent".
Taoqi explains Battle Beneath the Crescent in the beginning of Act VI as a gruelsome fight that occured 3 years prior to the game's events against TDs that were native to the norfall barrens and produced by Retroact Rain.
In Jiyan's character story 2, "The Reason To Fight", Jiyan was said to have taken the role of General at 20.
In summary, 3 years have passed since the Battle Beneath the Crescent, the event that led to Jiyan becoming the General at 20. Hence, Jiyan is 23 years old during the game's events.
I would like to clarify though that it's not clear how soon after the battle Jiyan became appointed as General, and I'm going under the assumption that he got the position within the same year as the battle. At the very least, he is 20 at the youngest and 24 at the oldest.
- He is the youngest General in the Midnight Ranger's history, as described in his character story 2 : "The Reason to Fight".
This also means that Geshu Lin is older than Jiyan.
- Jiyan joined the Midnight Rangers as a medic around the age of 13.
According to Jiyan's Companion Quest, Jiyan was part of the temporary team that set the record of the Gulpuff Relay 10 years ago. One of the illusions of the audience members from that decade-old relay also describes Jiyan as a "new recruit".
Knowing that Jiyan is around 23 as of the game's events, this means that Jiyan was 13 when he joined the Midnight Rangers.
If I stick with the idea that Jiyan was 20 at youngest by the time of the game's events, this would mean Jiyan joined at the age of 10.
- Jiyan was born into a medical family, becoming his mother's assistant at age 10.
As described in character story 4: "What's inside his gourd?". As a little bonus, he stores common medicine inside his gourd.
- The scales on his left jaw appeared after his forte-awakening/when he got his powers. It seems like that's the only place where the scales are.
As described by Jiyan's Forte Examination Report: Resonance Evaluation Report.
"Post-Awakening observations found some growths that resemble Loong scale on his left jaw. No indications of progressive expansion have been detected."
- Jiyan first got his resonance power in Yuanwang camp in Desorock Highland.
As described by Jiyan's Forte Examination Report: Resonance Evaluation Report.
"Resonator Jiyan's Forte-Awakening was observed at the Yuanwang Camp located in Desorock Highland." It was recognised when Jiyan accumulated air currents to form a lance.
- Jiyan has not yet Overclocked. Apparently his frequency is highly stable, hence his low risk of Overclocking.
Described by Forte Examination Report: Overclock Diagnostic Report.
For those who forgot (bcs me too tbh), Overclocking is just essentially where a resonator's powers are overused, and can cause disasters. Other characters, such as Mortefi and Sanhua, are more prone to Overclocking.
Side Mortefi fun fact: his scale growth increased after Overclocking, meaning that Overclocking can change a resonator's appearance.
I would really love to go more into the lore information about Jiyan's power in the Forte Examination Report but a lot of things in it are unclear right now, though they do look interesting.
- The death of his last patient and friend, a Midnight Ranger named Beiwang, was what finally pushed him to join the battlefield. His spear is fashioned after Beiwang's own.
A summarisation of character story 4: "What's inside his gourd?" and voiceline: "Chat I: This spear was modelled after the weapon of Captain Beiwang."
- Jiyan doesn't like Bittberry, though claims to have grown accustomed to it.
Essentially his mother believed that enduring bitterness meant you will become better, and she always put it in his food. He didn't find it very pleasant but got used to it since supplies are scarce.
As described by voiceline: "Disliked Food"
Side fun fact: I bring this up because you can see that he looks a bit nervous to receive Bittberry tea relative to the other characters in the Bottoms Up! Bittberry Tea Web Event lol
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isa-ghost · 2 months
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Hey, do you have any Phil & Charlie hcs or perhaps Phil & Foolish?
I'm having such a struggle picking which fucking one to do bc on one hand Foolish probably has more material to work with but on the other I've seen Phil and Charlie interact so much (but like outside of qsmp) that I'd have a way better idea of their dynamic. Charlie Slimecicle log on qsmp more often you talented fuck.
Anyway we're gonna attempt some Phil/Foolish ones. I think they're called Immortals or some shit?? Idr.
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Phil had no fucking clue what Foolish's deal was prior to being paired with him on Bolas. He knew he was a goofy happy-go-lucky and talented guy that?? Maybe had allegiances with the Feds?? Hard to tell?? He thought it was a bit tbh. But Purgatory opened Phil's eyes up and he learned that yeah, he's kinda right to a degree. But there are still layers to Foolish despite how Just Vibing he is.
And holy shit can he TELL Foolish has the capacity to be terrifying. You're telling me an immortal shark-totem hybrid doesn't have the ability to kill a motherfucker violently??? NAH. Phil can tell if enough of the right buttons are pushed, Foolish would snap and tear a bitch to shreds. Likely for Leo.
Phil's not entirely sure he can trust Foolish bc he's so unclear about where his loyalties lie, but Phil CAN tell that Foolish keeps it that way for a reason, and Phil thinks it's smart. Despite not entirely trusting him, he believes Foolish wouldn't like. Sell out his friends for a corn chip, yknow?
Now when you take all the serious out of these two though, THEN it gets interesting. Foolish is one of the islanders that has the easiest time getting Phil to let loose. It's just contagious, Foolish is too silly.
At the same time Phil looks at him and is just like ???? How the fuck does he smile through the horrors like that ???? Like clearly he's aware Situations suck and he's anxious like anyone else so how does he have the willpower to be silly and chill???? Phil envies it. He's too full of anxiety. Survivalist's curse.
Foolish's laugh is pure serotonin to Phil. And kryptonite, Foolish's laugh makes Phil laugh. He can't help it. Motherfucker sounds like a window washer squeegee thing when he's dying.
They have 2 very different flavors of immortality to me and while I don't know how a conversation about it would go bc Foolish is so casual and Phil is so? Not secretive but like. Not nonchalant about it? There's still something there that the ccs should cook on. I'm begging them to, in fact.
Also something about how one of them has deep ties to the air and the other technically has deep ties to the sea. Something about that. Especially when used in like, a serious situation. Like spying on the Federation or some shit. Do you see my vision. Using their inborn abilities to their advantage while in collaboration with each other for the sake of them and their friends. Do you see it.
Phil: Gifting shed feathers to trusted loved ones 🤝🏻 Foolish: Gifting lost shark teeth to trusted loved ones
I don't headcanon Phil as a short king like the entire rest of the fandom apparently does but obviously Foolish is fucking enormous compared to 99% of people, Phil included. If Phil could fly he'd spitefully hover just a little higher than Foolish's full height just to mess with him.
FUCKING. TALENTED BIG BUILDS DUO. SHAKING THEM BY THE SHOULDERS WHEN WILL THEY COLLAB. (The kids beg for this often)
Foolish has no idea if he's some kinda deity or if he's just immortal with some kinda weird totem roots and it drives Phil insane bc the hardcore deities have such a different energy than him yet you're telling him (maybe) both are divinity??
Speaking of the hardcore deities, Phil desperately wants to introduce Foolish to the Ocean Overlord bc they're (maybe) both himbo gods with some sort of tie to the ocean that are just vibing their asses off. (Oh my god wait I'm cooking on that idea. Doozers let's cook together on this).
Phil is jealous that Foolish can still swim, the thing he's deeply connected to (esp with those cosmetic fins he has) but he can't fly, the thing he's deeply connected to. But really it's just that Foolish is lucky bc the Federation would have to horrifically butcher him more or less in order to take away his ability to swim properly. Phil's easier to forcibly contain.
Believe it or not, if a situation arose where it was necessary, Phil would pick Foolish for his team (again) in a heartbeat. He may not be as passionate about fighting as Etoiles, or as ruthless as Fit, but hes powerful nonetheless, a trusted friend, has been in that situation with Phil before, and is a beacon of positivity; excellent for morale. Silly disposition and weird alliances aside, Foolish is an invaluable addition to a team from an objective perspective.
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Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Blaine Anderson from Glee vs Barok Van Zieks from The Great Ace Attorney
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(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)
Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:
Blaine Anderson:
LOVE: - "you know that post that's like "fandom will call a character evil and immature and then the character is just 15 yo" because that's what happens with blaine. he's just a sweet but socially inept kid with a lot of insecurities who's trying his best. compared to most glee characters he hasn't done anything wrong in his life. and yes he cheated on his boyfriend that one time, but he was super depressed afterwards (also this is glee literally every character has cheated and none have suffered as most as blaine because of it). in conclusion he's just a silly goose. my little princess <3"
HATE: (tumblr will not let me format this one bc its too long)
"A lot of people say he's the male Rachel Berry, and while I think that is absolutely a true statement, I actually don't mind his personality all that much. Literally everyone in Glee has a personality that ranges from inconsistent to downright horrendeus, so instead of talking about what he's like, here's some things he canonically does (buckle up, this'll be long): In season 2, when we first meet him, he's the leader of his school's showchoir. (redflag no.1/j) This gives him the freedom and authoritity to do a lot of stuff- not all bad, but he does serenade a closeted guy he doesn't know all that well, who works in costumer service AT HIS WORKPLACE, with a song about sex toys. (The guy in question ends up getting fired of course). He also gives some pretty hypocritical advice to his love interest, Kurt, about how he should try to blend in (hypocritical, cuz Blaine does the opposite and he's thriving under the attention), and he asks some insesitive questions, but those are all pretty excusable, or at least standard for Glee. In s3, him and Kurt are boyfriends, and he transitions school for him, which we could absolutely count as a decent thing, however it all kinda sours when he gets the part of Tony in the school's production of West side story. Why is this important? Kurt is a senior, and the performing arts university he's applying for is really competitive, so he needs all the extra curriculars and theatre experiance he can get. He asks Blaine to not aidition for Tony- which he agrees to- than promptly goes against that by singing one of Tony's songs at audition. He then gets offfered the role, doesn't turn it down, tells Kurt he should be happy for him, and honestly, BY GLEE STANDARDS, this is also pretty chill. Meanwhile: enter Sebastian Smythe, another contraversial character, who's now the new captain of Blaine's former showchoir, and who decides that either 1. Blaine is hot 2. Gonna use Blaine as an informat (His reasons are unclear tbh) Either way, he starts flirting with Blaine, who does end up rejecting his advances and telling him he's taken (though much later than it's probably ethical, idk tho, I'm aro). He (Blaine) really enjoys the attention though, so they end up keeping in touch. (Important for later.) Back to our main plot though; Blaime doesn't have sexual chemistry with his co-star, so the director tells him to lose his virginity (yes, you heared that right, it is fucked up). So he tries to sleep with Kurt, who of course, doesn't know that his boyfriend's sudden interest in him is due to directoral instructions. And then probably the most contraversial Blaine scene happens- see, Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian (who Kurt hates with passion) end up going to this gaybar. Blaime gets drunk (though he only drinks one beer on screen, so we don't exactly know how drunk), and tries to sleep with Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt is visibly upset, and tells him no multiple times. Blaime doesn't oblige, and Kurt ends up shouting at him, which Blaine...doesn't take well, and blames Kurt, then leaves by foot. (They end up having sex by the end of this episode btw. No, Kurt still doesn't know about the directoral instructions. Whether he does it out of love or fear that Blaine will leave him is unclear) So we already know these two are not very good at boundries and communication, but the writers say they're "soulmates" so apperantly it's okay? Anyway, this all culminates in cheating incident no.1, where Kurt meets a guy whom he shares similar interests with, and who gives him some very cheesy compliements. They exchange numbers, and text a lot. Blaine doesn't like this. He checks their texts in secret, and then sings a song in front of the entire Glee club about how he's being cheated on, to humiliate Kurt.
Kurt insists it's not cheating, giving the example that Blaine's doing the same/used ro do the same with Sebastian. Blaine says "that's different" and they leave it at that. Kurt apologises via song. S4- Kurt moves to New York. Has to work a lot, since rebt is high, and also gets an internship at vague, so he's quite busy. Blaine feels ignored, so he cheats on him with some guy we only see the facebook profile of. They break up. S5- Blaine has a crush in this other guy, Sam. (He's been trying to get Kurt back, so him moving on is a big deal). Except gay marrige gets legalized, and Blaine decides to propose to Kurt. So he gets back together with him, then bot a week later he arranges a huge public proposal where it'd honestly just be plain emberassing to say no, but dontcha worry, because Kurt accepts. They move to New York together. Blaine becomes insecure, because Kurt gets ripped thanks to his fencing lessons, meanwhile he lrts go of himself a bit, enjoying all the fine food New York has to offer. His reaction to this is to try manipulating/tricking Kurt into eating copious amounts of food too. (To be fair, Kurt's reaction to the situation isn't perfect either, but this is not about him, their actions can co-exist without one of them necessarily having to be "the right one") S6- Kurt breaks up with Blaine. Blaine ends up going back to Ohio, and dating the guy who bullied, non-consensually kissed, than threatened to kill Kurt. (The guy did have a redemption arc, but I still dunno how to feel) You might be wondering- "wow, this was so lpng and extensive", and you'd be right but also this was mostly romantic relationship centric. There's also a lot of stuff Blaine says to his friends that make me question my sanity, but this is Glee, so that's every character in basically every episode. What makes me hate Blaine isn't even JUST all this- it's the fact that in universe, he almost never gets called-out, people take his side, it's as if the writers are condoning his actions, and I Don't Like That. I'm all for liking morally grey, or even morally dispicable characters, as long as their actions don't get excused. Hell, I started out just mildly disliking Blaine, but a lot of people paint him as innocent and pure, and that didn't feel right. Then I was ready to like him BECUASE of his questionable morality- but turns out, the guy doean't have much else going on besides this. His personality is almost the same as Rachel, except Rachel's more...full? If that makes sense? Blaine is just...bland. And inconsistent, and boring, and I just Do Not Like Him At All."
Baron Van Zieks:
LOVE: - "man's 6'4", british, looks like a vampire, took a mental health break for 5 years thanks to the dead bodies that cropped up after he lost in court, and is uhhhhhh kinda racist which is a key part of his character. the explanation for it is divisive but he does grow as a character eventually?? i think he's fun. there's a bonus case exclusive to the 3DS version of the games where he mentions he was almost poisoned in one of the first cases he ever handled. he objects with his leg. he brings wine into court but rarely drinks it. he has bats in his office. we have no idea where the scar on his face came from. his voice actor did a subway commercial. i think he wants to believe he is the sane one in the courtroom but that title belongs to the 16 year old judicial assistant for the defense." - "I love to hate him tbh!!! He's a complex interesting character tied up in things outside of his control and being used by the antagonist to hurt people, isolated due to his grief and rumors from the public. He also sucks SO fucking bad and I want to punch him. Lovingly. But I love him I promise."
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yunalinwrites · 3 months
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kids on christmas eve | gojo satoru x reader
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available on wattpad
cover by me
summary: you learn about what happened with geto suguru and make him talk to you about it
about reader: gender neutral, relationship to gojo is unclear but they're close, on a first name basis + implied to be romantic
warnings: sad (if i did my job right), mild cursing, spoilers for jjk 0 + gojo's past/hidden inventory/star plasma vessel arc
notes: i know this is really out of season bc christmas has long passed but its for the plot lol as u prob know dec 24th is an important date
anyways i prob could've edited more but tbh i just wanted to post it already lmao hope its not cringe cuz i didn't shower to finish it (avg jjk degenerate) also im angry this was correctly formatted in google docs but tumblr ruined it and i cant b bothered to reread it under the new formatting so srry if theres smth wrong
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"Gojo-sensei, that's not fair!"
Itadori had his bottom lip stuck out, his arms crossed tightly and his feet stomping against the snow.
"Yeah, come on!" Kugisaki agreed, mitten-clad hands full of the cold ammunition. "Turn it off, will you?"
You looked over to where Satoru stood. The snowballs that floated around him made it a little hard to see, but you could still tell his face was like it always was: smiling, the only deviation from its usual state being the pink on his pale nose. The rosy shade was just like his tongue when he stuck it out. 
"Come and make me," he taunted.
"Why, you little..." Kugisaki grumbled. "Okay, Itadori, Formation B!"
"Roger!" Itadori yelled back.
The pair performed a number of flashy poses--as if they were trying to imitate something they'd seen in a cartoon--and before you knew it, they were charging at Satoru from two sides, arms fully loaded and wound back with mounds of snow. But it seemed Satoru knew it before you, because he just tsked--didn't even bother catching the snowballs, just let them fall apart against his forcefield.
"Gojo-sensei!" the two groaned in unison.
"You're no fun!" Itadori complained.
"It's not supposed to be fun," Satoru countered with a playful shrug. "Just because it's a snow day doesn't mean you can stop training."
"But... but... But what about...!" Kugisaki sputtered, a vein popping out of her forehead as she struggled to come up with an argument. You could almost see the lightbulb pop up above her head as she pounded her fist in her palm. "But what about global warming?"
"Yeah!" Itadori followed, not thinking. "What about--Wait, what?" Scratching his head, he tilted his head at Kugisaki.
"It could totally be the last day it ever snows, you know," she claimed matter-of-factly, her hands on her hips. "And I would so hate you forever."
Itadori's mouth formed a silent "Oh!" as Kugisaki elaborated. Nodding his head in accord, he added on: "Yeah, Gojo-sensei. I don't think I could respect you after that."
Satoru put on a dramatic pout at that last sentence, but he soon returned to a smile and gave in with a sigh. "Alright, just this once."
You could see the two students loudly jumping for joy from behind him as he made his way towards where you were sitting. You smiled warmly at the sight.
"They really are something," you commented.
"Tell me about it," Fushiguro grumbled, leaning boredly against the wooden armrest of the park bench. He observed quietly as his friends built a snowman in the distance until Satoru's towering shadow prompted him to look up.
"Megumi!" Satoru called, his voice high-pitched and sing-song. "Go play with the others."
The boy scowled in response. "I'm too old for that stuff."
"You think you're old?" Satoru challenged. He pointed at his hair, at the white color it's always been. "What does that make me?" He hunched over and put his hand on his lower spine, feigning back pain. "C'mon, listen to your teacher. Let me sit next to Y/N."
Fushiguro squinted at him for a moment before finally getting up."Gross."
You chuckled, watching the boy begrudgingly drag his feet through the snow towards his classmates, but your laughter hitched as you felt something push against you. Turning to your right, you saw his lanky teacher. At first the sensation didn’t make sense, considering that there was a considerable amount of distance between the two of you, but you soon recalled his defense measures and the complaints they had garnered. 
Not noticing your discomfort, he stared up at the cloudy sky for a moment before turning to you. 
"Are you cold?" he asked.
You shook your head. "I should be asking you," you replied, referencing his lack of winter wear. "Why didn't you wear a coat?"
"Well, it would ruin my outfit, of course," he stated perkily. He wore a confident smirk on his face, but looking closer you could tell he was shivering beneath the thin fabric of his uniform.
Taking a deep breath in disapproval, you reached for your scarf. "Here," you offered, unraveling the knot you’d made earlier. But when you reached to wrap it around his neck, you felt the resistance of his invisible force.
His smile eased. "It's okay," he obliged, sniffling. "Thank you, though."
You hesitated before tying your scarf back around yourself, the garment's chunky knit giving it enough volume to nearly cover your mouth and even your ears, but you could still hear his teeth chatter. You searched your surroundings, looking past the dead snow-adorned trees and following the wet pavement until you spotted something in the distance: a cafe, just down the street from where you were.
"I'll get you some hot chocolate," you decided, standing up and brushing the snowflakes off your coat.
"You don't--"
"Shh!" You pointed your finger threateningly at him before turning around to begin your walk. "Somehow you've bent logic so far that you'll end up sick if you don't drink it. So just take this as an excuse to have more sweets, alright?"
You were just about to make your first step away from the bench, but then you felt a firm grip wrap around your arm. "Wait, Y/N--"
Before he could finish his protest, he was cut off by a particularly firmly packed snowball striking him right in the middle of his face, highlighting his nose with the sparkling white powder and dislodging his blindfold. With his cerulean eyes now exposed, he turned his head and saw the three of them: Itadori pointing and cackling on the left, Kugisaki doing the same keeled over in the middle, and even Fushiguro, on the right, had the ends of his mouth perked up as he shook his head hopelessly.
You saw Satoru grin at the picture, but it was contradictory to what you were feeling. He had let go of your arm, but not by relaxing his hand--you felt him, as if brick by brick, build that invisible wall right back up between you, seemingly stronger than ever. You could still feel it, even as he walked away towards the trio, tying his blindfold back on. Sighing, you sat back down and watched him make snow angels with the others, his head blending right in with the scene as he drowned himself in the blinding whiteness. With his blindfold now fully on, you could only imagine what it was like when he smiled with his eyes.
***
"I can't feel my toes."
Twirling her brown hair between her fingers, Shoko spun around in her chair to face the doorway.
She darted her eyes between you and Satoru for a second before a calm, amused expression painted her face. Despite knowing it was his voice she heard--though it was more nasal than usual--she directed her question at you: "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I told him to wear thicker socks!" you exclaimed, your arms crossed in frustration. "But look! Show her."
Rolling his eyes behind his blindfold, Satoru pulled the fabric on his thighs, lifting the hems of his pants so that they revealed his ankles. They were barely covered by the cheap red and green striped polyester; it was the kind of thing you'd spot on sale in packs at the checkouts during Christmas season.
“So I forgot… Big deal!”
“I could fill a library with all the things you forgot,’” you complained. “I mean, what are you, a fish?”
Unfazed, Shoko chuckled. "You're telling me the strongest--the one powerful enough to rival the King of Curses--was defeated by a case of frostbite?"
The both of you responded simultaneously: "Exactly." "No!"
"I was not defeated," he insisted, earning a glare from you. "Barely a scratch. She's just being dramatic."
"I am not--"
"Is there a reason you can't heal yourself?" Shoko interrupted, now turned to Satoru.
He pointed his thumb in your direction accusingly. "She wanted to come here, not me."
"Wait," you interjected. "You can heal yourself?”
“Of course, duh.”
“Since when?"
"High school," he answered dismissively, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "See, look!"
He pointed down to his shoes--through the leather of his dress boots, you could see the movement of his wriggling toes. 
You held your hands up to hide his feet from your sight. “Ew, stop that--" you grimaced. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He shrugged, smirking smugly. "My talent should go without saying."
You sighed. “Your talent to bewilder me?”
"You know it,” he asserted proudly. "But anyways–Can I go now?"
Before you could even answer, you could sense him already moving in your peripheral vision.
"Satoru, wait--"
"If you don't believe I'm fine, I'll show you my toes," he threatened, halfway out the door.
"Satoru--!"
"Go on, catch me if you can!"
You listened, trying to grab onto him but, once again, his Infinity blocked you, making you stumble into Shoko's arms as it pushed you backwards. By the time you regained your balance and rushed into the hallway, his long strides and newly healed feet had already carried him beyond your sight.
You sighed and re-entered the room, brushing yourself off. "Do you have anything for a cold?" you asked.
"I should," Shoko replied, opening up one of her medicine cabinets. "Why, are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, no, it's for him," you explained. "He's had a runny nose all week. I told him not to go out in the snow with the kids, but... You know how he is."
She hummed in acknowledgement with an understated smile, picking out a bottle of Acetaminophen capsules. Making her way over to you, she held up the container.
"I have these," she told you, but she didn't hand them to you; she just kept holding it up as she continued, "but, in my professional opinion, I don't think he has a cold."
"What do you mean?" you asked, your brow raised.
"Y/N, do you know what tomorrow is?"
"It's... the 24th."
"Mhm."
"So... Christmas Eve?"
She looked down at the floor, placing the bottle on a nearby counter and leaning back against it, getting comfortable. She stayed quiet for a moment, biting her lip in deep thought as she continued to stare at the floor with her arms crossed. But then, finally, she sighed, and reached into her coat pocket for a cigarette.
"Would you like one?" she offered, flicking the lighter at the end of the stick
"Um... No thank you..."
"Have a seat." She gestured to the metal seat against the wall.
Still thoroughly confused, you did as you were told. You felt as if your parents were about to have a stern "talk" with you--as if you had broken a vase or--arguably worse--it was time for you to understand the birds and the bees. That thought, along with the cold steel beneath you, sent chills up your body.
In an attempt to quell your anxiety, you beat her to the punch and spoke up: "You went to high school together, didn't you?"
She blew out a lengthy tangle of smoke strings. "That's right," she answered.
You shifted in your seat. "Has he always been... like this?"
"No,” she chuckled, bringing the cigarette back to her lips. "He used to wear glasses."
Your eyebrows shot up as you leaned forward in shock. "Seriously?"
She reached into her coat pocket again, this time producing a small print of a photo. 
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You took the glossy sheet from her hands and studied it, your mouth agape. Sure enough, there he was, on Shoko's right, smiling widely with his hair down and a pair of round sunglasses, both of them holding up peace signs. But, while Shoko's arm was clearly holding up the camera for the selfie, one of Satoru’s arms appeared to be wrapped around the shoulders of a black-haired man you didn't recognize.
Your brows furrowed at the sight. "Who's the one on the left?"
The scent of the nicotine got stronger as she took her time to ponder her answer, staring blankly into the back of the photo beneath your thumbs.
"That's Geto Suguru,” she finally told you.
You scanned his portrait meticulously. The man wore a grumpy expression with dark bags under his eyes and, contrary to the cheerful pose of the other two, he was flipping off the camera.
“Was he an upperclassman?” you asked.
She shook her head. “He was our classmate.” She gestured towards the photo with her cigarette. “We were all second-years there.”
“No way…” Holding the photo closer, you could have sworn you saw the outline of ear gauges behind Shoko’s head. “He looks so much older.”
You returned the photo to her and she slipped it back in her pocket, not taking even a glance at it as she did. She just spoke plainly: “He’s Satoru’s best friend.”
You tilted your head to the side. “Really? I wonder why I haven’t heard of him, then."
She took another puff, turning her face away from you as she let it out. “Tomorrow is his death anniversary.”
Your eyes widened before falling to the floor. “Oh… I see…”
You fell into a solemn trance, not knowing what you should or shouldn’t say and, consequently, opting to stay quiet out of respect. But, suddenly, you were interrupted by the sound of light laughter. 
“Even if he were still with us, I doubt you would’ve been able to tell. They bickered so much you’d think they hated each other.”
She walked around to the other side of the counter, leaning forward on it as she rested her hand on her palm.
“Who could get to class faster… Who could shoot more hoops in a minute… Who could make a bigger crater in the courtyard…”
You tried to imagine the pair wreaking havoc on an older version of the Jujutsu Tech Campus, but while it was easy to fit Satoru’s cheeky grin into all of these scenarios, it was hard to see such a mature-looking person as Geto doing these childish things.
“Ah, but you know, Y/N,” she started, looking up at you with a smile. “I think you would have been able to tell that Suguru was actually younger.”
“What?” you gasped, surprised at both the fact that he was younger and that Shoko thought that would be clear to you. “There’s no way…”
“Well, for starters, Suguru is shorter, if you put them side-by-side,” she argued. “And… Hm…”
She stopped to contemplate how to put together her next sentence–or if she should even do so at all. But in the end, she brought her cigarette back to her lips and exhaled: “I think you would have agreed with me that he’s the more immature one.”
Your brows furrowed as you scoffed in disbelief. “That's impossible… Satoru could be ten-feet tall and not a single thing on this planet could make him seem more mature than another person.”
She chuckled, though you could sense a sadness behind the sound, and you realized that your comment might’ve come off as insensitive. Clearing your throat, awkwardly, you granted her the floor: “What makes you say that?”
She took another inhale and sighed out a long cloud. Looking out the window of her office, she saw the faint glow of the multicolored lights that decorated it on the outside. She took in the sight for a quiet moment before sinking into her swivel chair, puffing once more.
“I still don’t know much about his childhood,” she began. “I never asked, and I never got to meet his parents. But I can tell you for certain that Suguru was the sort of kid who threw a tantrum when he didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas.
“I’m sure he had wishlists a mile long, but he wouldn’t be the kind to write even a single letter about it to Santa. Of course, that’d make it difficult for his family, and maybe they could've tried harder to figure it out–but he just wouldn't understand why what he wanted wasn't obvious to everyone.
“I can imagine one day someone told him the truth about Santa, and he was probably absolutely devastated. But, to him, it wouldn't be about the presents. It would be about the people around him: his mom, his dad, his teachers, his neighbors, everyone–the people who had been deceiving him his whole life.
“I don't think he ever forgave anyone for that, all the way up until he found himself as a seventeen-year-old at Jujutsu High.”
The air became thick–suffocatingly so–and your spine no longer fit right against the back of the bench.
“What exactly… did he do?” 
She rolled her chair towards her desk and put out her cigarette, pushing and twisting it into the ashtray by her desk calendar.
“In a single night, he killed one hundred and twelve civilians–non-sorcerers–including his parents. He wanted to create a world where only sorcerers exist.”
“O-oh my God…” Your hand rose up to cover your gaping mouth. “Wh.. Why?!”
“By killing non-sorcerers, you stop curses from the source.”
“But you can't just–” You cut yourself off, thousands of words rushing and racing to your mouth. “Didn't anyone try to stop him?”
“Maybe Satoru could've. If Suguru decided to tell him, that is.”
Your face was wound up in concern. “That's horrible…”
“I know, right?” she casually agreed.  “To want to be understood, but never willing to understand… Isn't it childish?” She even laughed. “Though, I suppose he was just a kid.”
“Just a kid?!” You stuck your head out in disbelief. “No, no… Satoru is childish. But that–that’s… inhumane!
You pointed to the door. “Satoru was a kid.”
You pointed to her. “You were a kid.”
Lowering your hand, you scrunched the hem of your shirt. “I might not have known you then, but I know you never would have done that.”
“To be fair, I'm not the strongest,” she defended plainly. “I'm just a doctor.”
The crease between your eyebrows deepened as you threw your arms up. “Okay–then Satoru! Satoru would never do something like that! And he… he's still a kid!”
“Satoru killed his best friend–his one and only.” She clasped her hands together on her desk. “A kid wouldn't do that, would they?”
You froze at the edge of your seat, blinking rapidly as you pieced together the puzzle.
“He… killed…?” you trailed off.
Shoko stared grimly at her hands as she tightened her grip on herself. “A kid wouldn’t have understood.”
You bore your eyes into her, waiting, begging for her to continue, to elaborate, to make it make sense, but she just stayed quiet, kept to herself.
You directed your eyes to the freshly polished floor tiles. As you stared into the blurry reflection of yourself, you tried imagining it again: Satoru, tall and white haired, and this kid grumpy little kid he called Suguru, wreaking havoc on the old campus of Jujutsu High: walking to class together, dribbling a basketball between each other, meeting up in the courtyard with one another.
 “That…” you began hesitantly. “That still doesn't excuse what happened.”
Shoko looked up at you, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, and though she wasn’t as contented as she had been before your conversation, her expression was no longer grave; she seemed satisfied. Slowly, she put her palms on her desk and pushed herself up from her seat.
“To answer your question from earlier–properly,” she started, making her way over to you. “I think that Satoru has always been that way–the way Gojo Satoru has to be.”
“But if there were ever a time that he weren’t,” she interjected, sliding her hand into her coat pocket.
“It would have been thanks to him.”
***
Your footsteps echoed down the empty hallway, stopping every once in a while to slide open one of the stiff doors only to struggle to shut it a moment later. You increased the reach of your steps, and the thump of your shoes against the wood planks competed with the hooting owl perched on the snow covered roof.
Suddenly, you heard a new noise: a honking, like that of a goose, coming from the end of the hall and slightly to the left. Now picking up to a jog, you made a beeline for the door and jerked it open.
“Well, if it isn’t my long-awaited Christmas present!” he exclaimed. “Looks like Santa’s early this year.”
He rested against the corner of one of the student’s desks, already facing you with his hands in his pocket. From behind him, you could just barely see the white crumpled-up balls of tissue that scattered the surface.
“I guess some people do gifts on Christmas Eve though, right?” he considered, putting a finger to his chin. “But, ah… choosing gifts is so hard. I need all the time I can get.”
He didn’t acknowledge your entrance at all; his Six Eyes had seen it coming miles away, allowing him enough time to get into position to pick up wherever you’d last left off. You didn’t acknowledge him either, keeping a stone face as you stepped into the room.
“What’s with the face, hm? Did you not like your presents?”
“Satoru,” you said sternly.
“Did you ask Santa for anything this year?” he went on, continuing to pay you no mind.
You sighed. You couldn’t help but let the ends of your lips pick up, but you kept your eyes down at the dirtied pattern of the floor.
“I don’t celebrate Christmas,” you admit.
“What? Why not?” he questioned astonishedly, forming a pout. “Does that mean you didn’t get me a present?”
You shook your head lightly, making your way over to him. “I’ve always thought it was sort of weird. To celebrate the birth of a martyr.”
“Hm,” he sounded. “Well that’s no fun.”
Planting his hands on the surface, he hoisted himself up onto his desk. “Santa probably wouldn’t give anything other than coal to a non-believer,” he noted. “But since I’m so nice, I’ll get you something. Just tell me–what is it that you want for Christmas?”
His smile stayed in place as you darted your pupils around his visage, your own face beginning to fall. You took slow steps towards the desk next to him, getting as close as you could before you felt his Infinity push back
“Satoru, can you do me a favor?” you requested gently.
“Depends on what the favor is,” he chirped back.
Reaching your hand out, you traced your forefinger on the edge of the invisible barrier before applying pressure into it, testing the shield’s strength. You pushed with all your might, but all it did was whiten your finger tip and make your knuckles concave.
You retracted, looking back into his eyes. “Can you take it down?”
You could see the movement of his eyebrows raising beneath his blindfold. “You tryna kill me?”
Again, you shook your head, still solemn. 
He crossed his arms and squinted at you, biting his cheek. Leaning back, he put his weight onto his hands behind him, loosely grabbing the edge of his desk, his expression becoming relaxed. “Alright. Here you go.”
You took another small step into the newfound space until you were only inches apart. Slowly, you extended both your hands towards his face, but then suddenly reeled them back into a hesitant fist in disbelief, the lack of resistance uncomfortably foreign.
You inhaled deeply through your nose and exhaled the air shakily through your mouth, trying hard to slow the rapid beating in your chest. Ignoring the smirk on his face, you tried to reach out to him, one final time.
Letting your arms wrap around his head, your hands searched his silky hair for the knot that held up his eye covering. When you finally felt the bump, you took your time digging your nails into where the fabric held onto itself, carefully pulling apart its loops.
As the blindfold fell to his neckline, his signature grin stayed plastered on his face, but just about every other feature of his seemed to change completely when the white wisps came down to frame them. His azure eyes, for example, glimmered under the faint moonlight coming through the window, but not in the way that they usually did. They were shining like lacquer, but it was as if, from underneath that, their batteries had been taken out. In their dullness, you could see the reflection of the long white lashes resting on the eyelids above, forming sharp, unnatural shapes as they clumped together unevenly. Pink waterlines painted the bottom of his irises, and a faint red was seemingly airbrushed around the surrounding puffy skin.
You trailed your hands down the back of his head until they cupped his jawline, holding his face as you explored its entirety. Moving from his eyes to his flushed, leaking nose, his smirk grew when your gaze landed on his lips.
“Are you sure you want to use your gift on this?” he teased. “Kind of a waste, in my opinion–you could’ve just found a mistletoe.”
“Satoru.”
“Hmm?”
“I want you to stop smiling.”
For a moment, he listened to you: his mouth fell open, but then it fell back into its previous position as he flashed his teeth at you. “My bad. I didn’t mean to blind you.”
“Please?”
He kept still while your thumb gently stroked his powder-smooth cheek. He jolted slightly as his lungs forced out a nervous chuckle, but he trailed off as your touch continued on him. Realizing your relentlessness, he sucked in his lips and clamped them together with his teeth as if he was trying to stop any further laughter.
He stayed like this for a moment, waiting for you to let go, but your tender movements showed no signs of stopping–you only slowed down when your eyes flitted up to meet his. He tried his best to return your stare, but eventually, he accepted defeat in the contest. And so, little by little, he let his lips roll out and the muscles to dispose into a resting state.
His voice became low, a near whisper. “Is… everything okay?”
Finally removing your hands from him, you nodded. Returning them to yourself, you glided one into the back pocket of your pants.
Taking a step back, you held up the sheet of glossy photo paper side-by-side with his face. You could name a number of differences: the neckline of the teacher’s uniform was looser and higher, his bangs now were longer and a bit thicker, and, of course, he wasn’t wearing glasses, and he wasn’t smiling. But, somehow, now more than ever, you could see the resemblance.
“What have you got there?”
Moving towards him again, you handed him the photo. It felt strange, witnessing the rare sight of his pupils’ every rapid move. And in addition to that, ever so slightly, you could see his swollen under eyes rise as the softest of smiles pushed up his cheeks. It was nothing like the sickeningly-sweet beamings you were used to seeing from him, though; it was subdued, raw like the cacao in dark chocolate, undiluted by sugar or milk.
“Where did you get this?” he asked, incredulous.
“Like you said, Santa came early,” you joked mildly.
“No, really,” he persisted, his tone reaching a bass you’d never heard from him before. “Where did you get this?”
You sat yourself on the desk next to him. “Shoko,” you admitted.
“What did she tell you?”
Your shrug was subtle.  “As much as she could.”
He continued to scrutinize the photo in his hands, his brows drawing together.
“Satoru,” you proceeded, hushed. “If it’s okay… I’d like it if you told me about it.”
He lowered the photo so that it no longer obstructed his view of you, but he didn’t take advantage of the space he gave himself; he kept staring at the photo as he spoke: “There’s not much to tell about. I was the strongest then and I’m the strongest now.”
You rested your hands on your lap and exhaled deeply. “That’s not what I mean,” you contested. 
It was as if he couldn’t hear you, continuing to stare vapidly into the photo as if somehow your sentence didn’t make it to his ears. But that was impossible; you’d said what you said, and the room was dead silent.
“I… I want you to tell me about him,” you clarified.
He shifted in his seat, finally looking away from the photo and up at you. “You mean… Geto Suguru?” he asked, as if there were any other ‘him’ in that photo. 
“Well… he’s the worst of all curse users,” he offered. He then shoved the photo back in your direction, a sudden grin straining itself on his face. “But it’s okay. He’s gone now.”
Ignoring his move, you asked, “Is it really okay?”
“I made sure of it,” he affirmed, impatiently nudging the paper at you.
He resumed his usual playful lilt. “Are you doubting me?” he tested.
“I don’t doubt you for a second–not in that sense. You’ve always been strong,” you reassured him. “But that’s exactly why I doubt you know how to be weak.”
He scoffed. “You think Gojo Satoru would know how to be weak?”
“No, I don’t. That’s my whole point,” you upheld firmly.
He folded his arms across his chest, his mocking tone sharpening: “Why would anyone want to know how to be weak?”
“Because even Gojo Satoru needs to realize he can’t just smile and laugh all the time,” you challenged, feeling heat rise up your neck.
His eyes darkened, seemingly into a navy blue, and his inflection further condescended: “There are a lot of things you don’t understand.”
“Satoru, how on earth am I supposed to understand?!” 
As your tone cut through, just as abruptly you pushed the desk behind you and dropped heavily to your feet.
“You’re right, I don't understand you,” you confessed frustratedly, pointing to yourself. “I don’t understand you at all. Because how could I possibly understand you? I can’t see your eyes, I can’t even get near you, and I’ve never seen you not smile.”
Your voice made gaps as your vocal cords threatened sobs. “And sure, I call you by your first name, and I laugh and I smile at all your dumb jokes and… and the idiotic games you play…
“But it’s–it’s… scary, Satoru. Creepy, even. How you know just about everything there is to know about me and yet… It's like I don’t even know who you are. You’re just a toy in the corner, watching everyone come in and out of the room, but I can never make you say or be or feel anything.”
“Feelings are what made him into who he was,” he stated coldly, his eyes fixed on the grimy floor. “It’s important for sorcerers to have a hold on their emotions.”
“So you know what happens, then,” you argued firmly, your shoes coming into his view as you stepped closer. “You know what it’s like to be shut out from them.”
You pushed his chin up, forcing him to witness the way you were holding on desperately to the tears that bordered your lower waterline.
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“Do you always get Sprite?” he’d asked, looking down as his friend retrieved his drink from the bottom of the machine.
“I mean… yeah, I guess,” Suguru replied plainly. “Why?”
A pit formed in his stomach as he heard the crack of the can opening.
“Shit. I’ve been getting you Coke this whole time,” he’d mumbled. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Suguru shrugged, beginning to head in the direction of the classroom. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Dude, are you good?”
Suguru jolted awake, sitting up from the plush back of the couch and nearly spilling the bowl of popcorn in his lap.
“Do you wanna watch something else?” he’d suggested, but Suguru just shook his head.
“I thought you liked Digimon,” Suguru objected.
“Well yeah, but…”
The only lighting came from the flashing screen, but it was enough for him to see his friend yawn, making his eyes water, dark bags underneath them.
“You can turn it up if you want,” was all Suguru had to say, but even after doing what Suguru said, he couldn’t focus on his favorite TV show.
“I know you said you didn’t want anything,” he started, reaching into his bag. “But here.”
“What’s this?” Suguru questioned.
“Your Christmas present, duh.”
“But it’s Christmas Eve,” Suguru pointed out. “And I told you–”
“I know! But just open it.”
He watched as Suguru lifted the lid of the small gray box, revealing a small pair of white gauges.
“I didn’t really know what size to get… But I think they’d look cool on you.”
“Thanks, Satoru.”
He lit up, thinking that he’d finally done something right by his friend, but the way that Suguru looked up at him, the way Suguru smiled insincerely, told him he should’ve waited for Christmas Day.
The tears were warm as they rolled down his face, past his trembling lip and blooming into the blindfold that rested loosely around his neck.
“I just don't understand why he didn’t talk to me.”
You pulled him into a hug, carding your fingers in his hair as you rested his head on your shoulder.
“He thought I hated him,” he told you shakily, finding himself clutching onto your shirt. “I didn’t see him for ten years and… and that whole time he thought I hated him.”
He inhaled a sharp sniffle. “I… I don’t hate him,” he whimpered, his pitch jumping and his body beginning to tremble. “I don’t hate him, Y/N, I don’t, I don’t, I never, ever did.”
“I know,” you whispered, stroking his hair, holding him tighter as he jerked with sobs.
He placed his head on your shoulder, staring at the blindfold that had unraveled itself and fallen between you. “I hate myself.”
You pulled back, cupping his jawline and holding it in front of you.
“Don’t say that…”
“But he was my best friend, Y/N,” he insisted, gripping desperately onto your shoulders. “I saw him every single day… every single day, all of that was running through his head and I… I didn’t even know… I just watched and… and I made him think I hated him. I was supposed to be his best friend.”
“You did everything you could, Satoru.”
“It was all my fault.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why did it happen?” he whined. “It had to have been for a reason–It can't just hurt and be for no reason. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“It’s not,” you told him, shaking your head gently and looking deeply into his eyes. “It’s not fair at all.”
Indicating the breaking of a dam, a deafening, siren-like wail pierced the air. His face was red and scrunched up, his nose was dripping with snot, and his hands were coming up to swipe desperately at the tears on his cheeks.
You pulled him close to you again as he kept hiccuping and sniffling into the crook of your neck. His loud weeping wet your shirt with both the fluids from his eyes and nose, but you didn’t care; you just rubbed his back, caressing him tenderly.
His voice was suddenly clearer as he took deep breaths to try and recuperate himself: “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“Why are you sorry?” you asked, stiffening your hold on him.
“I just… I don’t know. I hate crying. I’m not a kid anymore, you know?” he tried laughing.
“Satoru,” you whispered delicately, turning your head so your words rested right by his ear. “You were never a kid.”
Gently, you pressed his head into you, stopping him from moving his lips in any way. “I want you to be one right now.”
You let him stay in your arms for a while until his tears subsided and his breathing steadied. You had moved to the floor at some point, allowing him to comfortably lean on you as you embraced him, his previous quivering replaced now by the calm rhythm of his rising and falling figure.
He hadn’t talked in a while, so you assumed he’d fallen asleep, but then, among his mellow breathing, a mumble came up right by your ear:
“Thank you,” he’d said.
Hugging him tighter, you patted him on the back softly. “Of course.”
As one hand traveled to intertwine its fingers in his hair, you reached for your phone with your other one.
You pressed the power button on its side, and flinched backward, squinting at the brightness your phone screen emitted. Despite your sudden movement, Satoru didn’t show any sort of reaction; he’d fallen asleep, for sure now.
You continued to comb through his white locks, a little more consciously now, as you made note of the time and date your phone’s clock displayed, changing right before your eyes:
December 25th, 00:00
You smiled, dragging your coat up to cover the both of you as you laid your head on his shoulder.
“Merry Christmas, Satoru.”
***
might do a toji x megumi's teacher reader if u wanna follow
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ravixen · 1 year
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Heyy!! If you are still taking requests could you please do svt + your stray eyelash hyung line version?
I also really love your work. Read all of them in one night🤭
Thankyou so much!!
svt + your stray eyelash (pt 3)
➔ reaction || request
➔ warnings: none || 343 words ➔ notes: fluff ; since i already did cheol's, i chose to add another member. i'm glad you like my stuff and i'm so impressed that you read it all tbh—there's hundreds of posts! please reblog them :) also just a reminder to everyone: read my guidelines before you request. i can tell when people don't read the second bullet point. happy monday, reblog if you liked this
JEONGHAN: don't ask how, but somehow he ropes you into having a staring contest with him, stakes unclear, and he's such a cheater. he keeps trying to distract you by pointing to various things around the room or by startling you, but nothing works. you know you're going to win soon—he's getting so fidgety, and he's never been good at this in the first place. suddenly, his gaze flicks down. "you have an eyelash on your cheek," he says. you're about to scoff, but he reaches over and swipes at your face with his thumb, and you close an eye out of reflex. he holds the lash on the tip of his finger, looking at you with a mischievous smile. "i win, by the way."
JOSHUA: you wake from your nap not knowing what day it is, much less what time it is. still groggy, you clamp your hands over your ears to block out joshua's laughing. "what do you want?" you whine, burying your face into the pillows. the bed sinks as he sits down beside you. "wake up, sleeping beauty," he teases. "you have blanket indents on your cheek. slept well, didn't you?" you raise your head, fingers tracing the lines on your face. it makes him laugh harder, and he raises a hand to trace the other side, picking out a crusty stray eyelash to show you.
JUNHUI: you call out junhui's name and do a twirl for him at the door. "how do i look?" you ask, already knowing that he'll compliment you as always. true to your prediction, he catches your hand and twirls you again. "you look good!" he gives your new outfit an appreciative once over, but his gaze pauses at your face. "just one little thing..." your stomach sinks. you aren't going to change your clothes, regardless of what he says, but he's never given you a great, but before. "what is it?" you worry your lip. he gently brushes his knuckles against your cheek. "just an eyelash!" he assures you, squeezing your hands.
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idrellegames · 1 month
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I'm a big fan of Wayfarer, it occupies a lot of space in my mind because of the world building, the stakes and the characters. I even have a folder with screenshots of the game I occasionally reread when I don't have the time to play. It's like a wonderful book I don't tire of. So saying I admire you and your work is an understatement but I'm also very scared of you... LOL
For context, I have made multiple characters and one of them is very much the antithesis of Aeran while also being each other's missing pieces. They're very much Skyfall by Adele coded to sum it up. Patreon demo spoiler ahead, they plan on getting a little farm together and leaving the Wayfarer life behind too so because Aeran's fate is unclear, I'M VERY SCARED FOR AERAN, MYSELF AND MY WAYFARER AHAH.
I don't think my Wayfarer has ever considered a life where Aeran dies before him since he is a human (big fan of the line from Hera about outliving her lover "Perhaps someday you will know what I mean" for that reason, the details to your story are so gooood), so if he does outlive Aeran, I have no idea how he'll survive it realistically. It's going to be a 2-for-1 deal type of death. If Aeran dies, it's over for my wayfarer. Together, they're doomed by the narrative. So on one hand I'm very excited for the future of this game but I'm very worried. Ultimately, I think it's a statement to how impactful your writing is because I have never felt more concerned than I currently do for a fictional character... You deserve a standing ovation.
Thank you so much!!
I think everyone is worried for Aeran, tbh. Even those who don't like him very much. 🤣
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spikeinthepunch · 11 months
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the other thing i really wanted to mention about CotC in more detail, esp after watching new episodes, was the times the series tackles abusive family in a way thats heavily implied or straight up shown.
most obvious example of this was the episode "Scoutguest", where Craig allows Jason to come home after he says he lost his keys. What is actually most interesting about this episode is it focuses on how Craig is completely oblivious, and how Jason's home life shows his submissiveness in home environments. The first example was Craig and Bernard fighting about chores, and Jason just goes and does the chores for him, stating he wanted to save them the argument. I'm sure many who can immediately find this familiar- the act of doing something good in order to stop your parents from yelling at you or others in the house. You just want it to stop. But Craig not knowing any better, uses this behavior to his benefit. going through the episode, Craig's mom eventually calls the number shes given (which, we dont actually know was Jason's mom, and i think it probably wasnt- probably another source that knows jason's situation) and learns/understands whats up, and is kind to him as a guest. She doesnt tell Craig anything- he's a child, itd be hard to explain, and it may be invasive to Jason to explain it to Craig. regardless, she encourages Craig to be kind and when Craig hears Jason say somethings on his own he comes to realizing how different things are- and pieces together things. There is a lesson in realizing you should watch how you treat others, not presume about other's lives, and that some times someone seeking help may be doing so in a very discreet/not obvious way.
but (spoilers for newest episodes) i actually found this topic interesting to look at with Xavier. Xavier is a bully, hes mean. We learned that Xavier never had friends because he realized they just liked how he has cool stuff, and because of that, he just bullied people back, and felt that being King got him attention enough to feel good. hes a child, and Craig intervening right now is what he needs- Xavier can change. So onto my thought- The episode where Xavier explaining his story made me uncomfortable. We havent seen much of his family life. Things we do know: his oldest brother Kennith is at college, his oldest sister Cheyenne is in highschool, an unnamed/presumed mother. Unclear about another parent.
I shouldn't assume what i don't know about Xavier (his parent situation, mainly) but its interesting that we see so little of his family outside of his siblings, because the show has been very good at showing us entire family dynamics (we saw parents for characters that hardly show up!). His family is rich, his brother is distant as he is in college, and so Xavier is basically around his sister all the time. Previously I think I just took as her as the moody highschooler who thinks her little bro is annoying. But, in episode 2 of season 5, we get his story (which again, notably, does not show anything of his parents) where he eventually shows how he wanted to get stronger to i guess, beat up Craig. This is where i got uncomfy with the implications- his sister. Cheyenne works out, and the little we saw of her as the former queen did show she was also likely a bully, and i think it may be safe to say she is toxic and abusive towards Xavier as well tbh. Like, the way she start getting physical with him in that episode... getting angry, belittling him, hitting him. It made me anxious to see, feeling what is implied about her character. she does seem 'proud' of him improving but, i think its a situation of control (as she encourages in him too) and passed off like "tough love" when its actually really bad.
Xavier is 12 years old, we cannot and should not hate him like he is unredeemable. He turned into what he is for reasons a child likely would- be it the lack of people wanting to be his friend, or the implication that his older sibling pushed him around and bullied him herself. i did not really expect to see that in these new episodes honestly- it would have been easy to just say its how Xavier didnt make friends, but i think looking harder, you can again see how abuse affects kids, in ways that are very different but both bad.
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theforesteldritch · 5 months
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it would be so funny if demigods from camp half blood had tumblr during the lightning thief lol
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🦉owlbugs Follow
Not to little sisterpost on main but guess who's little sister led our team to win capture the flag :D
#sisterposting #proud big sibling noises #yeah she used the new camper as bait but it was a brilliant move tbh
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🦉owlbugs🔁summerlov1ng
💐summerlov1ng Follow
actually DNI if you defend or associate with the new kid (percy? I think thats his name) for what he did to clarisse + like as a child of the big three he shouldn't even exist, idk why everyone seems so ok with that. not defending what clarisse did, but he destroyed the toilets and broke her spear which was wayyyy out of line.
🦉owlbugs Follow
what
#why do people on campblr have the most insane takes known to the gods sometimes #sometimes demigods don't know what they can do yet it's chill it's fine #you can't tell people to not interact because you don't like another camper lmao
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🍓wheatgermofficial🔁cabin4-heritageposts
🍓wheatgermofficial Follow
Monsters love me for my transgender swag and niche knowledge on wheat and various grains
👤totallynotamonster Follow
come to the woods unarmed at night
🍓wheatgermofficial Follow
hmmm
👤totallynotamonster Follow
there will be wheat and perhaps various grains
🍓wheatgermofficial Follow
wheat and perhaps various grains you say 👀yippee!
🏞️camphalfblood-heritageposts Follow
Campblr heritage post (demeter edition)
🪴cabin4-heritageposts Follow
Cabin 4 heritage post
🍓wheatgermofficial Follow
who made this account and why
#there are only like 14 of us in cabin 4 #and only like 5 on tumblr who did this lmao
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🐎is-the-pegasus-video-cute Follow
Pegasus admin intro post! I'm James, from the Aphrodite cabin, and I help take care of the pegasi at camp. On this blog I rate pegasus videos and talk about pegasus care. I am not a professional ‼️I just have some experience with pegasi and enjoy educating demigods about them.
Rating system:
Cute
This pegasus appears to be well cared for, isn't showing distress, and is being interacted with in an appropriate way!
Wild
This is a wild pegasus doing what wild pegasi do, no concerns here
Unclear
Based on the video, I couldn't make a determination either way
Not cute
The pegasus is distressed, in an unsafe situation, not cared for properly, or isn't being interacted with properly. It might be being ridden unsafely, placed in a stable without enough room to stretch its wings, etc.
#not pegasus
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🎉underwhelmingrayofsunshine🔁forging-pvp
🎉underwhelmingrayofsunshine Follow
can i do some straight up jorking it in my capture the flag armor,,, time sensitive question btw
🔨forging-pvp Follow
no. curse of Hephaestus!!!!!!! 🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🔨
🎉underwhelmingrayofsunshine Follow
ow
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unclaimed-failgirl🔁
🌌unclaimed-failgirl Follow
can my demigod parent claim me so I can get out of the hermes cabin please i am so tired of having the wet sweaty socks someone hung on their bunk in my face all night
🌌unclaimed-failgirl
this is not implying anything about hermes kids btw. this is implying things specifically about Travis Stoll, whos bunk is right next to my sleeping bag
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aorelemos · 3 months
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First attempt at 'fanfic' (hananene)
since this is like my first post ever and also I dont use tumblr... like, ever i thought a good way to get myself introduced to this platform would be to show off a little bit of writing i did, tbh its not very good and also like *very* unfinished but I'm kinda just putting this on here so i can get it out of my system, also i doubt any of my friends would be interested in it (also since its very unclear the kind of idea i was going for was like.. idk nene gets sent into an alternate universe where Amane is in her position)
Im gonna copy paste it below this bit of text ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yashiro skipped down the halls of the Old School Building on a mission, she absolutely could not wait to tell Hanako about her little adventure - turned misadventure- turned real life fantasy, a fantasy which obviously involved her dearest Teru Minamoto and how he’d chivalrously stopped her from tripping down the stairs due to her untied shoelaces, however he’d tripped himself and that's wher-
wait. We're saving this for Hanako.
As Nene continued humming a lovey-dovey tune, she’d made it to the bathroom. And despite being in such an old and honestly kind of creepy building, this bathroom had quite the atmosphere (probably in part thanks to her amazing and feminine cleaning skills) The light that seeped in from those stained glass windows always helped to add a kind of warmth to the somehow pleasant bathroom, She didn’t know how to explain how it felt, only that it always gave her a comforting feeling.
After basking in the light of the soon-to-be-setting sun through the panes, she turned to the last stall furthest from the door and knocked, “Hanako~ You in there? Oh my, I’ve just had the *best* day of my life to ever happen ever!...so far. Anyways! Minamoto, he- Oh wait, no, you should guess! (it was really quite romantic!)” Nene gleefully and excitedly spoke, almost shouted to the door, not making any room for even a breath of air, however, Nene got no response. “Hanako? Hanako, are you seriously ignoring me?” Nene whined, looking around the room to see where her silly friend had gotten to, continuing to ask for him. It had only been minutes and yet Nene had gotten sick of her no-show friend. As she turned, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Weird.
Something felt, different. nothing in particular had changed in the warm and not so smelly room and yet, she didn’t feel that same comfort she normally did... “Not my problem” Nene being Nene, brushed it off. However, she did wonder “where is this boy?” It wasn’t like she *cared* y’know, she just wanted to tell someone about her absolutely strikingly romantic experience she’d had and that someone happened to be Hanako, she still wanted to ask why he wasn’t in his usual spot, it wasn’t like she *didn’t* care, she wanted to make sure he was alright, yknow?
 After a moment of stalling she’d made up her mind, if he wasn’t in here, she was going to find him no matter how long it’d take.
Taking one last glimpse of the room to make sure he hadn’t been trying to pull a silly prank by hiding from her (which he had not) she strode out the doorway, Yashiro began to skip through the old school building on a mission… She really, really, really couldn’t wait to blab on about her close encounter with Minamoto because wow! Somehow he’d managed to look even more handsome today than any other-
Yashiro paused in her tracks, she’d spotted a familiar face standing before her in the hall, she knew he’d spotted her too. Yashiro noticed his peculiar choice in clothing (why was he wearing the current school uniform?) however she dismissed it and opened her mouth to greet him-
 “Hanako-Chan! Why- no, How are you wearing that?”
The young black haired boy exclaimed to her, not dismissing her current uniform. Yashiro paused in her tracks, feeling somewhat offended “Ha- Hanako- kun, were you calling me a- a-?” she looked down at the new leggings she’d bought just that day, she knew they made her legs look big! the expression on her face was one of shock and heartbreak ‘I KNEW PEOPLE WERE GOING TO CALL ME A DAIKON AGAIN I SHOULDNT HAVE EVER WORN THESE NEW LEGGINGS! I SWEAR IM GOING TO RIP THESE RIGHT OFF RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW... UGH … AND OF COURSE *HE* HAD TO BE THE ONE TO BRING IT UP, OF COURSE IT WAS HANA-. wait. Did hanako call me… 
 “Hanako-Chan?”
 Nene asked aloud once she stopped her mind from wondering about her legs and instead, she inspected the boy before her, Well, It definitely looked like Hanako, with his bright and curious eyes, “Uh, yes, H-Hanako-Chan are you feeling okay?” not listening to him, she continued to glare. Soft black hair and a devilish smile, that was still the same however he also looked… different, Yashiro could hear footsteps coming closer but that didn’t matter, what was it that made him seem so different- Oh gosh! He looked- He looked alive! “Hanako-chan are you? Are you uh-” Nene also couldn’t ignore that he looked… much taller and much more… well, handsome. Nene felt her ears flush at that last thought and slapped her hands to her face ‘I can’t get distracted here, there's clearly something wrong’ she thought.
Nene noticed that she and the young man infront of her had been quiet for too long. Hm? When had he gotten that clos- “AHHHHHH!” Nene shrieked as she felt the boy grab and move her into a stairwell, she felt as his fingers trailed down her arms and his hands gently yet forcefully fondle her face, ‘this has surely got to be  one of the worst cases of grabby-hands Hanako has treated me with yet!’ she thought, feeling the temperature of her face rise as the now very handsome (despite only being a few inches taller now) hanako traced her arms, neck and face. As she noticed her own heated cheeks, she then noticed his, for a supposedly dead-man.. He had very rosy cheeks.. And why were his hands so warm? As Hanako’s hands stopped trailing over her upper body, she convinced herself to look at him, two bright warm eyes met her back.
“Are you alive?” they asked eachother in sync. 
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torchickentacos · 2 months
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This April 1st, I'm going to be normal about pokeani <3
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LMAO GOTTEM GET REKT ok so
Can we talk about the characters of the day from AG014. What the fuck. Why are they so weird. They're twins. Forrest and Forrester, surname Franklin. They both go by Franklin for some ungodly reason. They look identical with only a minor difference in their outfits. Forrest is a ranger. Of the park variety and not a pokemon ranger. Forrester, his twin, is not a ranger afaik, I think he's just kind of there???? They were both born right outside of Rustboro, but both brothers only have Johto bug type pokemon, and we know that Forrest has never been to Johto because his whole episode arc is May inspiring him to travel on his own, because he's too scared to. He admires her strength and independence or whatever, but we're on AG014, May's only been doing this traveling gig for like a week and she is comically terrible at it for the entire first season and a half. She’s incompetent, said with utmost love and respect. She's only got a torchic and a wurmple right now. Forrest admiring her traveling abilities is like admiring a microwave's ability to be an industrial kitchen. They also give him some pseudo-romance plot with her, because pokeani May was out here captivating multiple people with her dumbass swag. Drew, Forrest, and Sid being the canon ones I remember off the top of my head, but also probably Dawn tbh, and I’m like 85 percent sure she accidentally homewrecked Pacifidlog Joshua even if he didn’t actually like her but I last saw that episode when I was maybe eight years old, so grain of salt. What the fuck. Anyways, Forrest’s all "Oh, seeing you all independent makes me want to travel with you guys! :)" and between that and the weird crush subplot, you'd think they were setting him up to be this important next traveling companion. He's set up as this important guy who's going to stick around. Nope. We never see this guy or his brother ever again. Never again. He shows up in one episode, doesn't elaborate on literally anything, and then leaves. Let's go back to the fact that he has an identical twin, their names are Forrest Franklin and Forrester Franklin, AND THEY BOTH INTRODUCE THEMSELVES AS FRANKLIN? YOUR FIRST NAMES ARE ALREADY BASICALLY THE SAME THING ANYWAYS. WHAT FRESH HELL. 
More random facts. He looks vaguely like Kenny to me. He made his way into one of those pinterest edits. He shares a name with one of Brock's little brothers. His ship name with May is Bugshipping. You know. Because of the bugs. He's voiced by ANDREW RANNELLS. READ THAT AGAIN. He shares a VA with Harley. I’m just at a loss. Pokeani voice acting is its own rabbithole that leads you places like knowing that the following characters share a voice actor: Drew, Brock, Scott, that Magnemite from Journeys, Ghetsis, and King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule. Also the red and yellow M&M in the 2008 M&M wii game. There were four voice acting credits for that game. He was three of them. The only character he didn’t voice seems to be the green M&M, which is actually hilarious given the whole Drew and Ghetsis thing. Anyways.
I'm sure I could go on. Pokeani has so many COTDs that are like this (weird). I could talk about the watermelon farmer. I could talk about Samurai. There's Max (no, not that one). I could talk about fucking. sigh. TOMMY/TOMO/WHATEVER HIS NAME IS. WHATEVER THAT EPISODE WAS. Lord knows I could talk about Brianna (girl... /judgmental). There's essays to be written about Mikey and his weird brothers. I could talk about the dead guy that May and Meowth saved and created a new timeline for, because this dude knocked up his wife and then died in a snow-induced train crash before his wife could tell him about their child, and their grandchild looks weirdly like Brianna. But the dead guy is fine. Don’t worry. May and Meowth saved him with the help of a magical locket. Unclear how or why or literally anything. Just not worrying about it. And there’s the whole split timeline thing. Thanks pokeani. Back to other characters. I need to study Roderick and his little bellsprout and wynaut army and the fact that Paul’s his grandson (allegedly) under a microscope. Solidad might as well be a COTD, but lord knows now isn’t the time for The Solidad Rant. Then there's this next guy with a fucked up family situation. Timmy Grimm. He sounds like a Wizard 101 necromancer. Nobody in pokeani gets a last name but for some reason TIMMY GRIMM did. There's Damian and Seymour and Bill and honestly every single person who showed up in OS tbh. Then there's like. Marble. Old Man Swamp. STEVELAND AND HALVERSON. WHAT KIND OF NAMES EVEN ARE THOSE. S T E V E L A N D  AND  H A L V E R S O N . Steveland……………
You guys wanna know the worst part. Not a single damn thing I said here was an April Fool’s joke. None of it. Everything here is true. I have the world’s most fucked up citations list to prove it. Here. Have it. I don’t even care. It’s in MLA 8 format, but probably wrong because I always lose points for messing up on citations on every paper I write. I’m posting this post and then calling it a day. I’m going to go make some coffee. No in text citations because I can't actually be bothered to put that much effort into this tbh, so. Here. World's worst citations list. I don't even care.
Works Cited
Behindthevoiceactors.com. “Bill Rogers (visual voices guide).” Behind The Voice Actors, https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/Bill-Rogers/. Accessed 1 April 2024.
Behindthevoiceactors.com. “M&M's Adventure (2008 Video Game).” Behind The Voice Actors, https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/video-games/MMs-Adventure/. Accessed 1 April 2024.
Bulbapedia. “Forrest Franklin - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.” Bulbapedia, https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Forrest_Franklin. Accessed 1 April 2024.
Bulbapedia. “Joshua (Coordinator) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.” Bulbapedia, https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Joshua_(Coordinator). Accessed 1 April 2024.
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the-teacup-dragon · 2 years
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Can we please take a moment to appreciate Ever After, a Cinderella Story?
A strong heroine
Male/female friendship
"I shall simply deny you the crown and... live forever."
A reluctantly cruel stepsister who wants to change, but doesn't know how to break away from her mother and sisters influence
But she eventually does
Parents that care about their son(even if they are pressing him to marry) and listen to him and his ideas
The gypsies
The Princess rescuing the Prince
No fairy godmother(don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Disney's fairy godmother, she holds a special place in my heart) instead servants who care greatly for her and risk themselves to take the dress and shoes(at least this is what I believe happened, it was a little unclear to me)
Danielle tries several times to tell the Henry the truth, but it's his fault he won't listen
Leonardo da Vinci
The Spanish Princess clearly not wishing to marry and Henry releasing her
The whole not wedding tbh
Danielle rescuing herself
"Of course not, Mother, I'm only here for the food"
Danielle speaking up for stepmother, yet still getting her revenge
"And while Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point is gentlemen, is that they lived"
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