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moralcandy · 3 months

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fifteen things that don't come back, by charlie slimecicle:

number one. the paper airplane you and your daughter throw at your husband while his back is turned in the kitchen, the two of you hiding behind the counter as you snicker quietly when he stops humming and yelps a curse as he turns around with a faux angry expression and a poorly-hidden smile.

number two. the glass your daughter broke trying to grab it from the cabinet on her tippy-toes. you didn't look over until you heard the glass shatter against the kitchen floor, too preoccupied with grabbing the jug of cold orange juice from the fridge to notice until it was too late. golden, afternoon sunlight shone warmly on the both of you from the open window as you swept it up while she stood to the side with a sheepish expression.

number three. your husband's soft shirt he let you borrow when you said you couldn't find your own but really you just quickly shoved yours under the bed when he wasn't looking. you absently noted that it smelled like him. your lips curved into a slight smile without input. your foot shoved your shirt under the bed a little bit farther.

number four. the pictures you took of your daughter and niece, hugging eachother as they posed for the camera, the photo incinerated into ash when you blew up your house. you frantically dug through your daughter's chest afterwards, soot covering your hands as you searched for the photograph. you did not find it.

number five. your niece.

number six. the feeling of a cold glass of wine held tipsily in your hand, the waterdrop of condensation slipping down the glass at the same pace your tears did down your cheeks. you downed the alcohol until there was nothing left except a burning feeling and a lump in your throat. the bartender did not give you another drink.

number seven. your friend, the one who used to laugh hysterically with you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders before he began to scream at you while he wrapped his hands around your neck. he pushed you into the dirt, the metallic taste of blood in your mouth and the feeling of wet dirt on your skin as you absently question whether the water dripping on your face was the rain or the tears slipping down your friend's face. you know that was the funeral of your children, but you think both of the real 'you's died that day, too.

number eight. the warm, rumbling feeling of laughter in your chest as a smile hurts your cheeks, the sensation long gone. your mouth, for a moment, twitches into a small smile at the memory of the feeling.

number nine. the feeling of hands on your own, your husband's warm hands intertwined with yours as your cold, golden rings clink against eachother. your daughter's tiny hand clasped around yours as she leads you to a butterfly she found, grass brushing your ankles as you walk.

ten. the sound of your daughter's amused laughter, snorts interrupting occasionally. her head leans back as she giggles, her eyes scrunched up in happiness.

eleven. the sound of your husband's soothing voice, lilting with fondness as he looks at you. a smile absently crosses his face as he speaks, audible in his voice. you always remember smiling back.

twelve. your golden wedding band your husband lovingly slipped onto your ring finger so long ago, the one you furiously tossed into a dusty corner with particularily bad aim. you blame the poor aim on the tears blurring your vision, but it could've been the alcohol, really.

thirteen. your husband. you try to go to sleep in the center of your bed now, knowing that he won't be there. when you wake up, you always find yourself on the left side of the bed, as if you've moved in your sleep to accommodate someone. you scowl and think that your asleep self should stop being so stupid. ..you make the bed just in case he really does decide to come back.

fourteen. your daughter. whenever you make yourself breakfast now, you keep accidentally making two bowls, the muscle memory automatic, familiar, and no longer needed. you sit down at the table and set the bowls and begin to eat, but you always end up just stirring the cereal with your spoon as you stare at the untouched bowl across from you. you always end up throwing them both away. without your input, a frown tugs slightly at your lips as your pour out the second bowl but you know that nobody else was even here to eat it anyway. your eyes burn.

fifteen. your daughter, the one you know isn't the real one. sometimes you walk down those train tracks where you found her, hoping she'll be here this time. she never is. ..you still keep checking, just in case.

#qsmp #q!slime #q!misclickduo #misclick duo #misclick family #q!slimeriana #slimeriana #← i actually completely forget all the tags for them lmao #qsmp poem #poem #qsmp writing #moral's writings #hi!! i hope this one is good!! i'm really proud of this one ^^#i was on tiktok and there was this qsmp edit and the caption was 'things that don't come back' and then i started thinking abt qsmp #← and i was like wait that's actually a really good fic title. so i turned it into a poem and now we're here!! :D #there is never a day in my life where i'm not thinking abt q!slime bro #listened to velvet ring by big thief on loop while writing this :)#also if its not clear this is a poem mostly about q!misclick family from q!slime's pov but tilín quackity and codeflippa are mentioned kind #i felt this worked better in second person so let this be known that this is not an x reader thing!! it's from q!slime's pov ^^#now on ao3 under the same username :D #now that i'm rereading this it sounds like it kinda ends abruptly lmao i might fix that #now fixed ^^ i hope this is a bit better :)#qsmp slimecicle #ALSO IF ANYBODY'S READ THIS FAR i think you should read this with 'how to never stop being sad' by dandelion hands playing :D #← like it's crazy how well that song/poem fits q!slime

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iamfuckingsorry · 10 days

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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.

Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.

Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...

And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.

Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.

#Murderbot #murderbot diaries #system collapse #Herr's personal tag #Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red #I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling #MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell #ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death #ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly #Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different #And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART #And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary #Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate #And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death #Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings #And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude

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lord-squiggletits · 8 months

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Y'know another point on the "Pharma isn't a Functionist" scoreboard (not that I haven't thoroughly debunked that by now but whatever) is that a preoccupation with hands isn't something unique to him.

The entire practice of empurata involves removing a mech's face and replacing their hands with claws, so literally Cybertronian society has always had a sort of judgement/taboo around hands (skillful forged hands, dirty/criminal claws). Even if Pharma were actually obsessed with his hands which he has a right to bc they're part of his body and belong to him so it's less obsession and more a fear of his bodily autonomy being violated, you can't use that to immediately declare him a Functionist when there are other cultural reasons that having one's hands removed is considered terrifying/dehumanizing and was historically used as a method of punishment and visually distinguishing someone as a criminal who should be socially ostracized.

Plus Pharma is a doctor and has only ever been a doctor his entire life, everything he is or has ever done is tied to being a doctor and being a doctor relies on him having his hands. Of course he's going to be proud of his hands or be upset when they're taken away, because having his hands taken away is, literally and symbolically, taking away his identity and the thing he's best at/most proud of being able to do.

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sorry for the chronic pharmaposting but like he's literally one of the only things #that reliably motivates my brain to peel itself off of the floor and do any kind of thinking or creativity #but anyways. when it comes to pharma i am once again asking this fandom #to stop and consider if pharma is actually insane and obsessive or if his actions #are just a manifestation of emotions that everyone feels and a fear of having his body violated in a way anyone would be afraid of #also no one ever gave ratchet as much shit for talking about how forged hands are the best #as much as they give pharma shit for being 'obsessed/proud of his hands'

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astranauticus · 6 months

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orv sketchdump while i try to recover from midterms burnout

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv spoilers #han sooyoung #yoo joonghyuk #secretive plotter #oldest dream #art i made #is the text legible?? wtf happened to the resolution #i wanted to do a version of the traumatised and sparkly traumatised as yjh and kdj but i ran out of space and also patience #genuinely love that 1863 hsy canonically smokes bc WOW thats hot <- insane #most of this is just me clearing leaves out of the drain stopper but i'm actually proud of that ONE 1863 hsy. god i love her #anyway go check out my translation of eternal loneliness the chorus is very 51%kdj coded #kind of a weird thing to say about a song thats so much like. quotes from soure material by volume (its a tv show ost) but like. its true #世界隐隐作痛像永恒孤独你却留下爱恒星如灯塔指引我重生 can apply to so many orv characters tbh #yoo joonghyuk? check. the oldest dream? check. 51%kdj? check (kinda)

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as-days-fade-and-nights-grow · 2 months

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Now he'll play God, because your God just lost His touch

Season 6/7 Castiel with the Purgatory souls and Leviathans and stuff :33 the lyrics are from Losing His Touch by Jack Off Jill.

WIP by the way!! (Maybe. I don't know if I'll finish it really. I wanted to ink it traditionally and stuff but I forgot my sketchbook with the good pages :()

#I'm proud of this one #for once #it's actually kind of a redraw because I hated the first version #the anatomy of the wings doesn't make any sense but whatever #supernatural #spn #castiel #art #jack off jill #losing his touch

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iraprince · 7 months

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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

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enbysiriusblack · 4 months

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i'm not really a barty fan, but he's still very interesting to me (from how i see him)

like. him growing up with a very distant and abusive father and a very caring mother. him getting into ravenclaw house, the same house as his father, and getting scared he'll grow up to be just like him. and so he starts rebelling. he gets detentions, he gets angry at teachers telling him what to do, he gets angry at the fact he still loves learning and listening in class and reading and revising and getting good marks because it means his father will be happy and think he can still control him and is still on his way to being him. but he can't help himself- he loves learning too much. so instead he befriends slytherins, notably a rosier and a black, the kinda people his father despises and is publicly against. and his father talks about and works on getting higher up in the government with his anti-death eater agenda and so barty starts getting into the small wannabe death eater circle at school. and then he gets to go to his first meeting and he gets the mark and he gets to go on missions and his father can't stop him, can't control him anymore, and he doesn't even realise he's lost his son until barty's getting arrested.

#like he wants his mum to be proud of him but wants to piss off his father #and he can't really do both since his mum wants him to do well in school and not get in trouble and be kind to others and stuff #until he realises that his mum's love is very much unconditional and she'll always love and care for him no matter what he does #i'm also not a 'slytherin skittle' fan but it is also interesting how only evan's parents would've actually wanted even to be a death eater #he's the only one of them that was doing as his parents actually wanted him to do #barty crouch jr #marauders era #slytherin skittles #barty crouch junior

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redo-rewind-if · 3 months

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It's that time again... time for my progress report. I may write slower than I'd like but, hey, at least it's something lol.

Next Update (Chapter 3 & 4? Maybe?):

Intro Scene (if not on music fest route): 100%

Music Fest Routes (Solo, V, and Amara): 100%

Club Pyre Path: 93%

August Part 2 Electric Boogaloo: 0% (not started)

Avoid Death (Eventually?): 0% (not started)

Work Time! (End of Chapter): 0% (short outline, not started)

Okay, so I haven't gotten as far as I'd like. Should still be on track to finish the section I'm working on in 2-4 weeks. Hopefully. BUT. In other news, I've written dance scenes (both platonic and romantic) for all the ROs.

I'm really happy with how they've all turned out, August's especially. He's got a couple variants that are both very spicy. 🌶🌶🌶

#redo; rewind if #interactive fiction #if game #progress report #i was actually thinking of sharing snippets of all the dance scenes but i kind of want y'all to go in blind #the scenes aren't even that long or anything btw. i'm just really proud of how they came out!#this one line in particular in august's #the metaphors... they are layered....

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moe-broey · 2 months

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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡

I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO

Moe just has...... SO many problems.......

Close-ups of my fave shots!

The elusive Líf...

#fire emblem #feh #i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO #which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO #LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in #but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops #ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me #they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here #but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise #this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO #but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey #capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite #that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO #fe alfonse #fe lif #moe tag #summoner oc #my art #my comics

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sillyabtmusic · 5 months

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The KingDom 'Realize' Concept photos - Rebellion version

#kingdom #the kingdom #kingdomnet #kflops #nugudom #malegroupsnet #forfreddy #* my gifs #kd.gif #kd.grp #okay i'm gonna start complaining everyone look away #i know these all look kind of different please take it up with GF not me i am . so tired #whatever. i am proud of them individually and they're kind of a nice gradient here. that is fun at least #the exposure and lighting was all over the place not to mention ivan is in a different location and so is arthur but only for one pic #and. crumbles #my fave outfits so far but designed to torture me specifically #actually the first concept photos i thought were bad weren't as hard as these #at least those look kind of consistent #hwon's are the best tho i think they're the most natural looking i kept tinkering with the rest forever and i think this is the best they'r #all getting okay bye ily guys

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stcries · 7 months

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❝ THERE WILL COME A POET, WHO'S WEAPON IS HIS WORD ... ❞

#STCRIES: an indie selective multifandom multimuse, penned by cola, est: 04.04.22. featuring a wide variety of muses from various animanga, video games, television series, original characters, and much more! you’ll surely find a muse here amongst the wreckage that you’ll recognize. rules and muse list are available via carrd. mun has let go of all self control, so expect new muses on the daily.

promo template found here!

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rooks-gallery · 7 months

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caved and finally decided to do a mix of digisona and tamersona art lol

pardon the strange artifacting, glaze was very much not meant to deal with a lot of solid colors, but i hope you can still appreciate the work i put into all this!

cringe is dead and i'm not into necromancy so when my brain said "digisona time" i said "this weekend, for sure"

first pic is art from like two years ago though, we just were not using tumblr at the time so we never ended up posting it here

second is also from like last year when i fronted for the first time in a while. played around with some fun brushes and tbh? might have to play with 'em some more because trying to get digital effects beyond glitchy stuff is a Goal of mine.

#digimon #impmon #flawizarmon #beelzemon #digimon art #digimon fanart #dg arts #i'm actually hella proud of those last two pics which is my whole excuse for making this post #we've been a digimon fan for basically our whole life #but only just recently did we kind of figure out how we want to draw impmon anatomy #which you can tell between the first and third pics!!#not that i did shade (the impmon in the first pic) dirty by any means #but figuring out that i really want to lean into the “vaguely cat creature” side of things was a neat discovery #and i think we can largely thank the way we've seen people draw impmon over the years in influencing that #there's this one artist whose art i can't for the life of me find #but the way they drew impmon ears completely broke my brain #in a super good and cool way #and i've seen a lot more “impmon ears are very weirdly furred cat ears” art takes since #(that first time i saw them was the first time i really REGISTERED it yk?)#anyways #hee hoo i'm in digihell with some major brainrot rn #love this series a normal amount that makes me very happy #-sky

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kira-light0 · 9 months

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It's Trapper Tuesday! 🎉

This one is for you @kpop-emo-trash for that post asking what happened to Trapper Tuesday: you inspired me.

(Reference under the cut)

#mash #m*a*s*h #mash 4077 #trapper john mcintyre #my art #traditional art #screencap redraw #trapper tuesday #His hair turned out kind of wonky but I'm actually pretty proud of this #I've been waiting since Sunday to post it and I almost posted it yesterday but I really wanted to take part in Trapper Tuesday #I'm going to try and post at least one Trapper each Tuesday for as long as I can

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fabrizio-art · 1 year

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Memory, Fairy Of Fossils- Winx Club "paleoart" OC

I like making weird crossovers of stuff I like, and I wanted to try out the style.

Plus a tribute to an iconic italian animated series which I had an initially complicated relationship that can be described "oscillating between pretending to hate watch and admitting I liked.

Also we need more prehistoric themed magical girls in general.

July has been a pterosaur art moment.

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thedreadvampy · 10 months

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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

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teddylacroix · 1 year

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@jonmartinweek 2023: Day #9: Free // Alternate Universe (Mechs!Jon)

I adore the trope of The Mechs being Jon's old uni band, so one of the AUs in my head features Jon and Martin meeting back in the day, with Martin attending their last concert and meeting Jon offstage. What happens afterward branches off into several possible scenarios, some with far more angst than others, but they all start and end happy. :3

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