#i'm glad i dont know what they are but i can make assumptions

[flintstill]

my library hold on the Series 2 DVD of Doctor Who was finally fulfilled (there was a line)

this is probably my sign to bite the bullet and finally watch Army of Ghosts and Doomsday...

Once again sending a plea for any fix-it fic set right after series 2 by ppl who can't be spoiled, i'd love you forever

[cescalr]

I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen

Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!

[llyfrenfys]

i must admit i know nothing of welsh history or language. im reclaiming learning the irish language bc i know the history of it and bc i think it's essential to protect native languages of various places. but as someone who doesn't know welsh history, i see "its not like welsh people were beaten for speaking it" and i recoil in a sense of distaste. because while i may not know the history, i very much doubt no one ever in the world has been beaten for speaking welsh, that's a pretty huge assumption to make even if a language isn't being legally oppressed (assuming thats what op really meant). but also, i just loathe the idea that only minority languages are worth saving or caring about if they're being beaten out of people. genocide happens in many ways and only some of them are actually active violence/assault, most are subversive, and purposefully so

idk if i should even be speaking on this bc i dont know the history of welsh but i feel like you literally dont need to know the history behind it to see something very wrong with "speakers of a minority language should shut up if they're not actively being killed for it"

Sorry I took so long in getting to this ask (post anon is referring to) but yeah- that post was gobsmacking to me as a Welsh speaker. I've studied language loss and revitalisation and I can name several endangered languages in which children (and adults) were beaten and abused for speaking their native tongue. For example, we covered the Tlingit language in Alaska (one of the few North American languages I've studied) which is subject to a revival- some Tlingit wanted to learn the language, while others (usually older people) had an aversion to the language. One man said that whenever he speaks Tlingit he can taste soap because he was punished as a boy for speaking Tlingit by having a bar of soap put in his mouth. Language loss via abuse is real and prevalent in many, many endangered languages. The audacity to assume Welsh is somehow immune to that was astounding.

But even if Welsh *was* immune to that somehow (it wasn't) you're right in that we should care about the decline of a language even if it doesn't involve overt suppression. More surreptitious kinds of linguistic genocide lie within the state apparatus. For example, when Wales was merged into the Kingdom of England (see: the Laws in Wales Acts 1535 and 1542) the language of the legal system in Wales was changed to English-only, depriving monolingual Welsh speakers (Welsh was spoken in pretty much every part of Wales at this point) of legal services. This meant that Welsh speakers were effectively pressured indirectly to learn English in order to have a chance at any legal services in court. Over time, the privileging of English over Welsh created a pressure to abandon Welsh in favour of English, because there were 'more opportunities' in English than in Welsh.

Similarly, the true Treachery of the Blue Books wasn't that the British Government in 1847 had ordered a review into Welsh schools and found that too many people were speaking Welsh- but that Welsh-speaking parents began to forbid their children from learning Welsh and supported the findings of the inquiry because they too had felt that pressure of English-language supremacy. Believing that there's more opportunities in English than in Welsh. It's an unfortunate legacy and attitude which still persists today- and none of the Commissioners of the Blue Book Inquiry shed any blood in doing so. But the impact was nonetheless dire. It's also a self-creating cycle: There are no opportunities in Welsh -> People learn English instead of Welsh for opportunities -> There's fewer Welsh speakers to create more opportunities in Welsh ->There are no opportunities in Welsh.

But yeah, I have no idea what the OP of that other post was thinking but it was offensively ignorant in any case. I'm glad though that Welsh's struggles are seen by others at least, in this day and age.

[probablyottrpgideas]

Re: the post about the 'base assumptions' of DnD: 'Playing DnD requires buying into *proceeds to describe an exclusively unhinged murderhobo dungeoncrawl playstyle*' Like. Idk, I hope they find a better group/DM soon I guess? They literally don't have to play that way?? I know my tables don't. DnD campaigns with more emphasis on plot and roleplay, and where the morality of characters' actions can be called into question or given appropriate consequences by the DM are not uncommon at all. It's ok to dislike DnD, or to prefer other systems! But calling a murderhobo playstyle the 'base assumption' of a game which famously allows every table to tailor their campaign to their personal liking just seems highly disingenuous to me.

I hear you, but I also think you are explicitly doing what the original OP calls out as the behaviour they're deconstructing.

Dungeons and Dragons is, in it's core DNA, a combat simulator game that had narrative storytelling elements added to it. All the classes---a core pillar of character design alongside Race and, in 5e, Background!---are built assuming you will engage in combat. Yes, you have other options, but at no point in its design does it produce a result that is incapable of resolving conflict with violence.

That's okay! Violence is a part of conflict resolution; fighting and warfare are part of the world, and as such they are part of the storytelling media that Dungeons and Dragons draws upon in its design.

So while you can play the game in a completely non-violent way, you do so by forgoing a significant part of the games design.

And then, of course, we come to the other point the OP was making; if your core toolbox of resolving narrative conflict always includes doing violence (either physical violence in the case of killing monsters, socio-economic violence through theft, or social violence by destroying reputations or social standing in political intrigue campaigns), you need to be conscious of who is the target of that violence, and how often those tools are you immediate go-to.

The OP was not, I feel, describing anything terribly out-of-pocket with their description of the casual D&D party. The party getting the mission from the king to ensure the Demon Lord is not summoned to the realm who go to the Old Abandoned Temple and killing every CR 2 Cultist with a fire bolt cantrip is not an "unhinged murder-hobo dungeoncrawl" playstyle, it's an average (if mediocre) D&D adventure.

I'm glad you get to play D&D in a way you enjoy, but I feel if you play with a wide variety of groups you will see players engaging in behaviour the OP described more often than not.

And for anyone wanting to play games that dont feature violence as it's go-to conflict resolution mechanic, those games are out there. You don't have to hack D&D to do it. A lot of them are free, or PWYW, and the creators are on Xitter begging you to play them.

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream, it's 🩷 anon, how are you doing?

My life, the 3d, has been easier, I'm not going to school anymore, which means I can focus on myself. There's more time to manifest my desired life, and honestly, it's a decision. I decide everything based on my assumptions. It turns out that it's pretty easy to manifest because reality comes FROM ME, and not TO ME. I just need to be assertive in my power, I can do it!🩷

In my reality, the 4d, I've decided that I am completely perfect, right now. I'm focusing on my imagination 100%, because it's the only reality, and the outer world is merely a mirror. There's some resistance and negative feelings, but you know what? It doesn't matter. I created a routine to meditate and affirm in the morning, afternoon, and night. I discovered yesterday that although affirmations are kinda forgotten in the community, it works wonderfully for me! I can easily calm myself with affirmations and be completely fulfilled!🩷

I found a blog here, @etherealkissed88 🩷, and let me tell you something, it's one of the best blogs I've ever seen. Her name is Jani, and she helps me to be more assertive with my reality. Her posts are SO HELPFUL. You and her are angels sent to help me, and I am very grateful. Thank you to both of you for your posts, all the answered aks and overall for being on Tumblr, you guys are saving a girl's life. Thank you for everything!🩷🩷🩷🩷

Sadly, her asks aren't active, so I can't talk with her, I hope it's not a problem to tag her, if it is a problem tell me.

Anyways, I will just affirm, meditate, and persist to make the feelings of living my desired life normal, not to wait until the 3d changes. That was a problem, me waiting, but now I'm okay!

I hope you're okay and trust me, I WILL BE WRITING A SUCCESS STORY, I PROMISE🩷, byeee🩷

hello cutie <3 i'm doing v well !! thank u for asking

i'm glad that youre realizing that within urself and are moving forward in a way that feels best to you:)

its true, you are perfect right now. we all are, perfect and not needing to change anything to get to where we wanna be. it tends to be the hardest thing to realize but... its true. and im glad you can realize that for yourself now ! i agree affs are def nice, i get why theyre forgotten now bc of the way they were used and abused in the past lmfao buttttt they def are lil small things that can help us in our day to day life, theyve def helped me a lot

im glad you found a blog that helps you sm !! maybe itll help other people here too, so thank u for sharing it <3

i wish u luck on ur journey !! n to always remember its okay no matter what happens, u dont have to be any ideal of perfect other than what u are now. and trust me, i know you will !

xo

[spindrifters]

dude i really dont know how to tell you this in a comprehensible way but im just so in awe at you. i've been following your blog for maybe two months or smth bc of the constant wolfstar spam and really enjoy that.

but also i find it so so nice to see an adult in fandom that is comfortable with being an adult in fandom. i've seen lots of people turn away from fandom activity as they grow older (especially from harry potter related stuff. ig it becomes embarrassing for people) but i couldn't imagine that for myself as it is a big part of my own life. why would i stop engaging in a community that shares art and stories and beliefs?

(also as i'm a nonbinary teenager my heart just kind of jumps seeing an adult whos comfy presenting themselves like that on the internet. i'm finishing school soon and growing into the age where lots of people in my social circle seem to expect from me to grow out of this "phase". ALSO i make art myself and its just cool to see "real" writers in fandom. (i really hope me telling you this doesn't bother you.))

i just wanna tell you that your silly little posts always make me giggle and this blog feels like its own little safe space :) hope you're having a nice day <3

I want you to know that it really made my day to wake up to this.

I remember being a teenager and seeing my 30+ fandom friends and just sort of thinking well that's great for them, but there was an underlying assumption that I'd probably grow out of it by then. which made me really sad, but I assumed it was just a natural part of growing up. and then I didn't grow out of it. but more importantly, like you've said, I became really comfortable with it. if football fanboys can have their niche obsessive interests their whole life, then so can I. that's something that happens across the board, at least in my experience. I hit 27 or 28 I think and started embracing things I thought I'd have to put away as an adult, only now I had the freedom to do it in ways I didn't when I was younger. (I'm not just talking fandom. I'm talking dying my hair pink after 7 years of blonde because it made me happy and I stopped caring about it looking professional.)

and I do think part of this is because there's no actual way to 'be an adult.' part of that's because the markers and milestones boomers and much of gen x had don't really exist for us anymore. so you get older and it's a realization that, "I don't have to look and act like an adult. an adult looks and acts like me, because that's what I am." and then you start to meet other people who think similarly. the community of 30+ fans here on tumblr dot com are honestly some of the best people I know.

anyway, all this is to say, I so remember what those growing pains you're going through/can see on the horizon were like, especially relating to the interests I had that society messaged to me were shameful to have. I was a teenager during peak fangirl shaming of the 00s/10s. so I turned it into a fucking career instead.

I'm really, really glad that this feels like a safe space for you, it makes my lil gremlin heart very cozy and warm. xx

[genderqueerdykes]

Sometimes I feel really upset that I'll never really be able to 'pass' as not woman, (probably w/o hrt that is), and it sucks getting misgendered so easily. Like when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see a woman but then I go out and most strangers don't hesitate she/her-ing me and idk what to do to get people to like not say that lol. Like my hair is the longest it's been in 2 years, (I'd buzzed it all off the past like 6-ish years), and I really like how it looks and don't want to cut it off but even when I had the short hair I was still being called 'she/her'. And then there's the voice which is probs a big factor in the way I get gendered and well....

Idk, I don't want to let strangers affect my perception of myself but it's hard not to feel kinda bad when people dont perceive me the way me and my friends do :(

Sorry if this is probably a repeat of another anon or ask you've received, feel free to ignore this.

hello there, i'm sorry other people are making you feel alienated from yourself- strangers and social transition are often the hardest part of being trans and a lot of people end up staying in the closet because of these things, so i understand why it's feeling so overwhelming for you. it's not an easy thing to cope with and i'm sorry to hear it's made you feel this way

unfortunately, people are often raised to make assumptions about strangers based upon how their bodies look and their voices sound, because folks are taught it's "polite" to aggressively gender a stranger to affirm them. it's not really your fault, it's parents failing to teach their children that people can come in any shape and form, and that person's fault for not learning how to respect other's boundaries. it's a cultural and societal failing

if you're able to, try to remind yourself that you know who you are. you don't have to identify a certain way because of the she/her's. i know they hurt to hear, but that doesn't mean they're right about who you are. they know nothing about you, they've never truly gotten to meet you, and they're making a very baseless and shitty assumption. a lot of people choose to see the she/her's in a drag queen way, and i think it helps to remind yourself that pronouns don't = gender and that person literally doesn't know your identity, so they're not correct. you are the expert on yourself

sometimes vocal training without hormones can help, sometimes changing the way you dress can help, and some folks use makeup to make their faces look more masculine. there are a few ways you can change the way others see you without hormones, i hope you're able to find something that works for you. at the very least, i'm glad your friends understand you for who you are. it may help to see if you can reach out to any lgbt organizations in your area, and see if you can hang out with other queer people who don't judge folks based off of opinion and voice. having a community can help a ton. even online communities can be super helpful

i hope you're able to find a way to feel a bit better, i know people can be very shitty and make assumptions that hurt us, it's a massive failing on society's behalf to take care of all of us, not just some of us. it's not fair, and it's okay to be hurt when people address you incorrectly. i wish you the best of luck, take care, and stay safe out there, if you need anymore help feel free to ask

[mrs-evadne-cake]

Hey i think ive sent compliments about ur stranger things fic on here before too but skdhdk i recently reread it again (at this point i think i do come back to it once a year lmao) and i just had to come back here again because i feel like its only gotten better on the reread!!! Everytime i remember what a disappointment the recent seasons of the show have become i come back to ur fic and am always astounded by the amount of care you've put into the story and the affection you have for the characters and truly fleshing them out the way you did. Especially a big fan now of the way you tackled the question of "how do we decide something or someone is a monster" on the latest reading between neil hargrove tuning into his radio, james harrington deciding who were real people and who are the monsters who needed to be contained, and ofc the little girls who knew themselves to be monsters now because of things theyve gone through but still try their best to hang onto things they love. Something i didnt pay attention to on the first reading but now i cant stop thinking about it!!! Esp with how jonathan immediately forms a rapport with the abused children instantly because he knows what its like to inherit that monstrousness from violence thats been done to you and desperately wanting to rise above it + the sympathy w which you wrote kali genuinely put this above anything the show could put out at this point. Maybe ever because i dont think the show could truly ever commit to the political stance its first season demanded. Thank u so much!!!!! I liked how now that theres smth of a positive relationship bw hopper and kali, theres potential for a kali and sara hopper team up in the future and possibly how hopper can keep in touch if sara ever decided to reach out.

Optional question for u to respond to: in the story its constantly referenced that jonathan met steves dad at some point and that was probably when steve was told that he wasnt to hang out with the byers. Im guessing that was when joyce dropped him off that halloween cause thats when steve started finding loopholes to meet up with him? I just wanted to know if that would be a correct assumption, and i was wondering how that encounter went down lmao

(btw the choice of making jonathan and steve childhood friends + steve and nancy always being jonathans first loves and them eventually falling into that same configuration the two of them promised each other even when jonathan was the only careful custodian of that memory and never brought it up???? FUCKING INSPIRED. I've never gotten over it ever. Steve admitting in his "rewritten history" bits that jonathans smile made him feel like a bullet train????? God I'll never stop being lightheaded everytime i think about that.)

Hey i think ive sent compliments about ur stranger things fic on here before too but skdhdk i recently reread it again

You're Anon, so I don't know! But if you did I am delighted you decided to reread and tell me more! Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! Haven't been on here a lot came back and was like...is that... a message?

the affection you have for the characters and truly fleshing them out the way you did.

I'm always so glad when this is what readers take away from it- I never wrote as a hobby before writing this (and haven't written since, unfortunately had the same ultimate feeling on s3/4 as you) but I really loved the show and characters after S2 and this was just an expression of that for sure. I'm so happy it comes through!

Esp with how jonathan immediately forms a rapport with the abused children instantly because he knows what its like to inherit that monstrousness from violence thats been done to you and desperately wanting to rise above it

Thank you! I really wanted a big part of the fic to be that no one's 'hero moment' has to be killing a monster with a bat- hell, I maintain to this day that Steve's was just apologizing in S1- and that it can just as well be empathy and kindness.

Maybe ever because i dont think the show could truly ever commit to the political stance its first season demanded.

Don't get me started.

Optional question for u to respond to: in the story its constantly referenced that jonathan met steves dad at some point and that was probably when steve was told that he wasnt to hang out with the byers. Im guessing that was when joyce dropped him off that halloween cause thats when steve started finding loopholes to meet up with him?

Yeeeeagh. I don't remember if I had a thing for this? It's been a few years. The Halloween thing is from The Wolves in the Walls which was the original first chapter of this when it was still gonna be a 5 chapter character study instead of a you know, novel. I think in the fic proper it was that his dad was just around more when he was in grade school and just started to have to leave constantly when the project really ramped up around when Terry Ives/Ken/Gloria/Alice joined and 11 was born?

I'm so happy you enjoyed it - thank you so much for the excellent take and the wonderful comment!

[angstics]

i couldn't agree more with the heart of your post earlier about being "gross" and struggling with mental illness (obviously i would never argue with the more personal aspect of it, that's not the focus of this message) and i deal with the same stuff all the time lol.

however, i would say fully attributing gerard smelling bad to his nebulous Mental Illness in a way gerard himself has never actually ascribed to it is a little questionable, you know? (even saying he "wasn't taking care of himself" is more perspective than a random fan can really have, though i'm not sure what specific time they're referring to so maybe it is more substantial than the fact that there were no showers on warped tour and i'm just rambling for no reason haha) there's SO much of what i can only think to call editorializing. but that is probably not the right word? of mcr history in the fandom, and making connections like that where it's maybe unwarranted and assumptive to make them. not that that's what you did, and honestly you're one of the best mcr fans i know wrt to NOT doing that lol. it's very easy to get caught up in it though; you start seeing it everywhere when you realize you have to look for it.

this is not at all malicious, and i know that wasn't the point of your post anyway! i would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on this one and i'm just sharing my perspective :)

first off, this is a nice message and im glad you brought it up. it’s good to be challenged.

i was being vague because it was more of a personal observation than it was about gerard. to be clear, i was talking about 02-04 when gerard was often described as a permanently rancid leather jacket by himself and interviewers (ie. tom bryant, andy greenwald, LOTMS).

maybe im victim of both fandom and media attributing Single Characteristics to people (“ha ha bullets shows would stink!”). for unknowable reasons, this prevalent description disappears after 04. maybe his hygiene got better. maybe it stayed the same. maybe “gross” was swapped out for “emo”. he’s sexy now, sexy cant be gross. it all is just a portrayal.

i also dont like how narratives are constructed from disconnected pieces of information, especially when the narrative becomes "fact". but i doooo think it's a part of being invested in any public figure. you dont know them but you like them a lot, so you create a person in your head from whatever you scavenge. whatever you NEED. i wouldnt care about this self-care/mental health connection if i didnt need it.

i never want it to seem like im psychoanalyzing this guy because it is rarely About him. when im talking about other people, im really talking about myself. it’s all projection. i should be more careful about that.

[tvlandofficial]

Can I just say I love how the TV keeps getting plugged and unplugged in this blog’s canon

Like. Most people would assume that it’s been unplugged for years until just getting plugged back in in Chapter 2 for whatever reason,

But honestly one thing I’ve wanted to talk about for a while but never know how to word is how the reason fan content of future Chapters never really hits the same way the real thing does is because of assumptions like that. Unlike Toby, who already knows what he’s gonna do with everything, we as the fans don’t typically take the opportunity to build off of small stuff like that, or just add new things to old characters instead of simply recycling what we currently have. Despite the fact that a lot of things we didn’t know in Chapter 1 actually came from things we did know, like how when you see the knockoff controller for the console under Kris’s bed, you’re supposed to assume that it was used by them as yet another visual display of their inferiority complex, only to find out that it was actually used by Asriel so they could have the real one. Or how it was revealed in Chapter 2 that Alphys’s “Cat” is actually Susie. Or how Queen’s sipping noises from Chapter 4 were never shown off or foreshadowed previously, they were just made up on the spot because her whacky personality allows for that kind of randomness, and in turn, also makes it kinda off-brand for her to not have new stuff. The thing about the plug is especially synonymous with the first thing ‘cause the whole extra lore about Toriel being some kinda god basically hinges on it

Overall, I’d say it’s safe to say adding small new things and building off of small old things is a decent chunk of what makes DR as good as it is, and without that, it just feels like something’s missing

Not that that’s not understandable. Coming up with your own shit can be pretty hard, especially if you’re not planning on covering a full Chapter’s worth of content. Plus the concern about how poorly stuff like that might age, considering what happened with Mike- Shit I’m getting side tracked

Anyway yeah, I like how this blog’s take on the Chapter has a neat detail like that

this is so sweet, thank you anon! 😭 like ive said before i dont wanna knock other people's fan chapters - the creativity in this fandom is really great and i love seeing what people come up with! there's a lot of it that i haven't really been able to keep up with, and lots of ocs that seem to have popped up because one person made a cool little idea and people latched on. but for tvland, i wanted to keep it tied to the game as we know it as much as i can, even with the nature of this kind of thing making a lot of it have to rely on my own creativity and headcanons. a lot of people have told me tvland is somewhat unique in that regard, so i'm glad everything people have been coming up with seems to be their own!

kris unplugging tenna and throwing out all their things bc of how they sympathize w the darkners is an idea ive gotten more and more attached to as time goes on. i can't know exactly what's going on in toby's head, but i like to write the blog as though someone handed me deltarune as an unfinished game and went "how would this end?" the big line of the game is "no one can choose who they are in this world", and i'm sure people who've been following and will keep following me and @officialralsei have probably picked up on where that theme pops up again and again. i don't want to show my whole hand when it comes to what i'm doing here, since i am telling a story at the end of the day, but the two of us spend so much time going over the darkner stuff in the game with a fine-tooth comb that i at least hope i made a satisfying continuation to it here.

in the end, this tenna won't be canon. but she means a lot to me, and it seems like a lot of people love her! if it turns out she's a totally different character in canon, we can just pretend this one is her long-lost cousin or something :P

[starwell-tarot]

hiiii its about the mars conj venus ask! sorry for responding so late i didnt see it

anyways thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to give me your opinion on it i really really appreciate it

i definitly see what you mean as the venus student person i have this HUGE need to make him proud he asked me to do competitions and i said yes but i really really want to be the one to get us the first place

and even tho ig he wont show it and he is always supportive im pt sure he would be disappointed if i dont win

hes an aries sun, venus and mars and im an aries moon and venus its pt wild

You're very welcome, love!

So my assumption did translate into real life 🤔 that's interesting to hear! As I mentioned before please make sure to not push yourself too much in order to satisfy your mentor ... I'm glad he's being supportive of you, though. When it comes to the fear of disappointing him .. well I can't talk much. I don't know if he'll actually be or your fear of wanting him always proud of you is making you think he'll be highly disappointed or mad if you didn't win. (Like some sort of anxiety projection. But then again, I'm just thinking it a possibility, not stating it the truth!)

That's an Aries bonanza! I can see how things are so wild. That's a moon to sun conjunct synastry, a Venus conjunct synastry and a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry... Woah 🤯

Usually I find an Aries moon is a little bit more impulsive and with more mood swings than the Aries sun. (If anyone wants to prove me wrong, you can!) So he might be grounding for you, in that sense. You two definitely have a very intense connection. It's very... Single minded. (In the idea that the relationship is very committed and dedicated.) With such synastrys, I'd think you're his favorite student 😁

The crazy thing is that when you first gave me this ask it got me thinking I've never had a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry where I'd be the Venus... I wandering how that would be like. Guess what! I'm an Aries Venus 😂 This feels fated!

With both of you having Aries Venus... I would say you are probably both very honest and direct. So my advice would be to talk things out, always. Instead of sitting alone with concerns and anxieties, voice them out. Upfront communication is always good with Aries placements 😁

It's fun talking to you. Don't hesitate to reach out to me again if you ever have any other questions you wanna debate or even just stories to tell. 😊

[marjoriestotch]

i haven't looked through ur tumblr yet so i am VERY new here but i just finished reading 'boy, what can you even eat?' and for some reason the way you wrote the like. 2 minimal interactions between kyle and kenny in this fic made me wonder if you were a k2 shipper at some point and i dont know why and im probably wrong but i just have a feeling and its such a stupid assumption to make because literally what the fuck am i basing it off of?? but i just wanted to ask!

also, it was the first tolkien/stan fic ive read! safe to say i am DEFINITELY going to be reading more because your writing has convinced me

OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU CLOCKED ME IMMEDIATELY LMAOOOOO IM HOWLING 😭 LITERALLY SPOTTED AND SNIPED ME LIKE NOTHING HOLY SHIT. i could never survive anything that requires stealth my poker face is indeed terrible holy shit....and i tried real hard to restrain the k2 vibes...but yes i am in fact very much K2 coded. They were my theme before stolkien has taken over, but theyre very much still the little peanuts that activate my primal neurons, always lurking...

I'm so so so glad i could convince you tho!! Im PROUD like yes it is all coming together....stolkien nation is rising...my current output of fic isnt that much, but best believe i am writing a LOT behind the scenes, more than I have had in aaaaaages man, just dont post about it as much as i do my little doodles of em, so stick around for that!!! I appreciate it immensely 💜💜💜💜💜

[circular-bircular]

i don't even quite know what I'm doing here exactly, but I'm glad to know that there is in fact other folks around who understand that plurality is a thing and that pro-endos can (and frequently do) spew a lot of misinfo about OSDDDID, and speaking about the very real harm that both "pro-endos" and "anti-endos" can cause. I suppose I'm just sharing some of my experiences here but I'm someone with 3 other dudes in my head who have to power to take control of the body (we avoid all langauge and terms related to OSDDDID and endogenic plurality) who went from believing we "can't be a traumagenic system because we don't have childhood trauma before the age cutoff" to fully believing we are trauma and hating all endos ever to feeling extremely alienated in did/osdd spaces and wondering if we are subconsciously "mimicking" symptoms, and after cutting ourselves off from both communities have come to a conclusion that the guys in the head haven't disappeared and are still very real, but this ain't did/osdd either and it also isn't "imaginary friends" or roleplaying, so it's just circled to "eh, i guess maybe plural". Eveb though there is definitely some pretty bad dissociation and trauma going on when it comes to some other stuff but that's something between me and my therapist.

But yeah, it's just very annoying having to constantly walk on eggshells between both "pro-endos" and "anti-endos" because the more vocal "pro-endos" would eat me alive for disagreeing with the way they talk misinfo abt did/osdd but the vocal "anti-endos" would send us to hell for having "system-like" experiences yet not claiming childhood trauma or a dissociative disorder that has parts (like that's anyones businesses)(also keyword "vocal", i understand not everyone is like this but as is the nature of this discourse, if u dont clarify then the assumptions can go wild lol) (and even though the last time we were fully open about this and thought this was osdd, an ex-friend came in to fakeclaim us because idk, we weren't "disordered" enough or some shit).

But to round this up to be a bit more postive again, I'm thankful that there's people out there who understand that there's a whole lotta more nuance to plurality and did/osdd and the communities surrounding them and the fact that yeah, no, they don't exist on the same spectrum. They can seem similar, but from personally speaking, so far the osdd/did side of things feels very different to what i /we experience. So, i guess, thank you for being open-minded yet also critical. Maybe one there can be two communitues who understand the difference between them but also allow healthy discussion and exchange of ideas. One can only hope.

I’m so sorry to hear about what’s happened to you. That sounds a lot like my experiences in those communities. You deserved better 💜

I’ve been so lucky to find syscourse unaligned folks and anti-endos who believe in endogenic plurality while speaking out against the harmful parts of both communities. More nuance has been coming to discussions, and it couldn’t make me happier.

Thank you for your high praise.

[voiceofsword]

I think you're probably right with the hiiro not really understanding the difference. from what their stories from the past implied, he probably never heard someone address their love in a way that a family would or at least not enough to understand the difference between the ways people express love, so he probably just picked up whatever he heard from others/media/whatever. besides that, none of their interactions seem shippy to me (thank god, but i also dont know much japanese so i could be missing things obviously) so I'm gonna assume and hope that the writers intention was to give another example of how out of touch hiiro is and that they weren't catering to a gross ship lol

OK YEAH... glad you agree anon. i think its probably the most reasonable assumption to make in hiiros case but you never know since there Have been times where its not like.. necessarily hinted at as smth canon but more or a jokey thing (like in romantic? date but it still comes off as uncomfortable and im pretty sure the intention there is more like. to make fun of those tropes.. but left vague enough so that ppl that Do like it (gag) can feel pandered to). BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ANYTHING MORE ON THE NOSE LIKE THAT IM JARED, 19

either way to me This seems like the correct interpretation of it and its easily backed up by canon and what we know about hiiro's upbringing so i will always always stick with it. it's also rly rly cute seeing hiiro get used to loving others and being so excitable about it !!! i dislike when ppl make him purposely obtuse for the sake of having him seem dumb bc in actuality he Is very smart (esp irt education, bro he was Raised to advise rinne) but it's sweet that he's new to so so many things at the same time and is eager to learn customs/everyday occurrences dissimilar to what he's used to. it makes this sort of thing coming from him very endearing and very understandable!

I LOVE U AMAGI HIIRO !!!!!!!!!

[thisdreamplace]

Hi Dream, how are you? 🥹

It's been a long time since I've sent an ask, but let me tell you that I feel like a recovering addict. Let me tell you why. When I found the law of assumption and EIYPO, I became a control freak. "Acceptance" was not in my vocabulary. This really frustrated me because there were situations that I couldn't change, and I also did not have in me that humility to accept things as they were.

A huge problem was me not being able to accept rejection (romantically) because I had this mindset of "I can only be rejected if I allow it". So whenever a potential romantic partner didn't want me, I became a control freak and wanted to change the situation very badly, and became obsessed with the person. I never got significant movement with these people who I was trying to change, for obvious reasons. I was not seeing my own value, and only cared to be valued by others no matter what, even going as far as putting myself in dysfunctional situations.

Recently, I was once again rejected, but this time the difference was that I do not want to change it. I do not want anything different. I've had a hard time trying not to blame myself for it, and trying to just move on. Normally I would try to force mental images that I don't even feel pleased with, about this guy being obsessed with me. This time I am allowing myself to taste what it is like to just accept it, to be fearlessly disliked.

It is not a bad thing. Maybe, yes, he is mirroring me, and that's fine. It makes no sense to try to get out of my way to change his mind. Or, try to fool myself, and change my mind for the sake of changing his. Idk if you know what I mean? I feel like right now the most sane thing I can do, is not to shift this whole thing or try to do anything about this, but instead, just let it be like this. Allow myself to feel this disappointment freely. To just observe it. I do not need anything different. And like, this opportunity can serve me as a way to bring me closer to myself.

I feel like I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling. I'm kinda confused. Sometimes I think "why will I allow him to reject me if I can 'manifest' him", but being completely I don't even have reasons to want him, besides the fact that my ego is hurt.

But anyways, this feels new to me and idk why I wanted to send you this. I guess, I wanted to talk about it, and I feel like I've followed you for so long that I feel like you're like a friend or a big sister that I really appreciate.

hiiii <3 i'm okay ! how are you ? :))

hahah its totally okay. because i think MOST of us can agree with that on some level ?? i was also a control freak, and ouch. did it hurt me more than help me. and acceptance was so scary at first, that i put it off for a long time before allowing myself to being practicing it. but hey, you made it here. so good for you !

i also understand your past struggles in that way. when youre on that control kick, you dont even really want anything other than to PROVE it. so you hold on to people, things, circumstances... as a way to try and show that you are in control after all.

everything that you're saying is making sm sense to me, seriously. and i'm glad for you that you're choosing to deal with this circumstance differently than you have in the past. THIS is the biggest start. i remember being in a veryyyyy similiar situation as you before, and i ended up manifesting a measly text a week after a rejection and for a second i felt happy... and in the next second i felt like a silly clown. that was my final turning point, where i realized it was time to change. bc what i DIDNT want was these failed experiences and trying to do control damage after each one. so i stopped trying to control things. i started to just accept what was, and start putting more energy and life into the experience i did want. and most of that looked like... just letting life be, and learning how to enjoy life as it was for me at that moment.

so anyway. what youre experiencing right now, i understand it fully. the ego will make us chase and chase. but we really don't have to, if we'll step into acceptance which feels scary and uncomfortable at first for many. but its what leads us exactly where we wanna go.

i'm glad you shared it with me. i'm proud of you and where you're at in your journey ! you're doing the best you can for you. and thats wonderful. 🥹 <3 i appreciate you sm ! thank you for being here.

xo

[a-s-h-f-l-a-m-e]

its that time of night again. Right when everything is fine and okay. You're okay, you're fine, maybe even laughing. Then ...You remember something. Faint, from the past - - This one, and That One. And you laugh to yourself, and then it really hits you -- And you feel that terrifying weight, Always when things are quiet, and when things are good: It rears its ugly fucking head and it makes me feel sick to my stomach --

no matter how much time has passed, no matter what happens, the thoughts are always swarming, deep in the back . And when things are quiet, and when things are good: It rears its ugly fucking head and it makes me feel sick to my stomach

What if, despite everything, despite what i tell and remind myself... What if i'm bad, too?

....

But now -- I'm not alone now, right? I felt...A sense of relief, but also.... deep fear. I havent had the best experiences when i talk about myself and my experiences -- And now theres . others like me, they...They who understand. They who probably go through the same things as i do -- they would understand my feelings ! others. who .... know. and. understand, who know how i feel and experience the same thing as Us.

....Why then? Why am i so fucking

AFRAID?

Its goddamn paralyzing.

Its the ways they've treated me, the things theyve said... Thw sudden assumptions, the jokes, the insults for things that arent your fault, that, because something may be your foundation and basis doesnt mean you're like it or what it came from -- And people . dont understand that . and . thats what i have trouble with . all of it builds and adds to the weight

I'm afraid. But theres others going through the same things as me, some less some more. I was. Excited, mixed with the fear, i was excited to have connection... But then the terror hit. And even worse guilt. While the others may feel it is a happy place for them -- which im glad it is, and that they feel happy and safe to talk to others, but.....

I. I I can't bring myself to talk to ANY of them and ESPECIALLY not any 🧡 - How can i?! I tried and my head spun and i spiraled worse. They're.. THEY'RE not bad. They're like .. Me. Theyre going through the samr things as i am . And i know THEY'RE not bad but it HURTS and

im TOO fucking afraid

WHO THE FUCK wants to see ME anyways?! .......After everything that happened- i wouldn't blame them for not wanting to see me around. I know i may not be the first one people wanna see or talk to , but, we're. Not...not all of us are like. like That. i certainly . wasnt.

i saw a single damn picture out of the blue and it stabbed me like a knife and i cried for like 10 fuckimng minutes and . th.theyre not bad -- They're like me. so then wny can't i bring myself to talk to them about it? maybe it can bring Them comfort . I.... It hurts .

it hurts

it hurts

and it always fucking will

and even when they say its okay and they wanna talk to / meet any of us do they really mean any of us? i....i know some of 🧡 want to see me . Maybe... Maybe some of them do, but even then ...I...I can't . I'm.. Scared.

....

Its different with 🖤🧡 -- completely . but . i feel bad . because i feel like i'm putting the blame on them --- they're . not bad .

. i want to talk to others from other places and mine but i...im scared and even when i see they want to talk to me i Can't .

And even now, i found someone to talk to, and i can't even brin g myself to do it . it hurts.