#i'm glad i found myself in this community

[sylviareviar]

Curious but how did you come up with your OC? Is she her own fandomless OC you have verses for, or has she always been one in the Persona universe?

Truth be told, Sylvia is a self-insert OC. I have other verses of her, and her background is usually different in every one, to better explain her circumstances. It's just, her Persona verse is the most active one I have on Tumblr. I came up with her in middle school, when I was at my lowest point, and Sylvia became my go-to comfort character ever since, because... she helped me escape.

But the truth is, I have lots of verses for her. Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's is one (which I don't actually use on here since I don't have any 5D's moots, but I am writing a fic about it on Wattpad-- it's the kind of fic that I'm not really proud to have, but I'm too attached not to write it, so into the trash bin it goes, I guess). I also have verses like Pokemon, in which she only accumulates her trauma after going out on a Pokemon journey, or Fire Emblem, where she's a glass cannon mage tasked with defending her lord (and maybe falls a little ill because of all the magic she's got inside her).

There are others, of course, but at the moment I can't think of many, since right now I'm hyperfixated on the Persona series, but if there are any other fandoms I like that I want Sylvia to be a part of, chances are she's there, with at least a basic background that I can build on if I start focusing on it again (like My Hero Academia). Oh, but I don't actually watch popular anime like One Piece, Bleach, Death Note, or Demon Slayer. Especially not Fullmetal Alchemist; I watched it when I was younger and got traumatized by the chimera dog. It's a little bit tricky, but I mostly find myself attracted by JRPGs, which is when I start to wonder, "I wonder what it would be like for Sylvia here? What kind of background would she have? How would she interact with the characters?" Building her up from there, coming up with funny scenarios with other characters, creating mischief and angst and blending the two into a believable character... It's all a lot of fun for me.

Sylvia being a self-insert doesn't mean that I take everything personally when I RP. Instead, the way I act with her feels more like she's a "doll" or an act that I play with. If other characters have personally hurt her, that's not an attack on me, nor is it an attack on her. It is an in-character interaction, much like how two actors who act out characters on stage that fight one another doesn't mean that the actors themselves are fighting.

The way she looks and is as a character is built in ways I can relate to, and it helps me to cope with the real world and real traumas I have. In a way, Sylvia could actually be my own personal Persona-- a mask I wear to get through the real world.

Sylvia's appearance is based purely on what I would find ideal on myself, and is sorta like what I think my personality looks like if it were a person. Her background, though, is something I have fun playing around with and building with the world, and I do my best not to break the boundaries of whatever world she's in, but bend them a little bit to make her seem unique without trying to take attention away from other, more important characters.

I guess you could call Sylvia almost a "trauma response," but I prefer to think of her more as a "special interest," because through her, I can learn better how to write, how to behave myself, and simply have fun interacting with canon characters.

Also, exhibiting some of my own personal habits through her helps me identify my faults as a person, and figure out things that I need to work on versus what things may be cute or fun in an objective sense, which I could leave alone after a bit of moderation. Such as...

...m-my habit of rambling. Or my dislike of loud noises.

But not everything Sylvia does is the same as me! For example, I don't actually live on a farm like Sylvia does in both the Pokemon and Persona 5 verses. My home is actually in a suburban area. Sylvia's location also isn't exactly the same as mine, and depending on the verse, her skillset isn't the same as mine either-- the only things that remain the same are her like of drawing, singing, and writing. Sometimes it isn't possible for her to play a flute, or to play video games, or even to just ride a bike. So really, how close she is in depiction to the actual me depends on the verse, but all of it is simply to have fun.

I hope that explained Sylvia as a concept sufficiently. I know a lot of people are uncomfortable RPing with self-inserts, so I'm already very grateful for the people who are willing to RP with her, and who haven't dismissed her as cringe or disgusting. Believe me, I've tried to let her go years ago, but every time, it never worked. So I'm sort of stuck. But I think if I practice with Sylvia long enough, I could start writing other characters with their own silly nuances and overly specific habits too.

[themthistles]

i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

[deviousdiesel]

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[dragonanne4fun]

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[todayisafridaynight]

shoutout rgg fans for helping me realize what specific label of asexual I fall under. an artist used the word aegosexual for themselves and I googled it and it boils down to enjoying consuming horny content but also having absolutely no desire to participate yourself. you're fine smashing two characters together like barbie dolls and even thinking it's hot but you Do Not want to be one of the dolls in the scenario. I really read that and went "ah. that's what's going on" fjfjdks

oh yeah thats a p accurate way to put it in our case tbh

[yamujiburo]

A few months ago, some of you might know if you keep up with this blog, I went to Collect-A-Con LA. It was truly on a whim. Literally the day before my girlfriend and I had just come back from our Europe trip. Normally I'd be so tired and jetlagged but for some reason I was feeling really antsy and energized and just needed to go somewhere and get out of the house.

I found out that Collect-A-Con LA was happening the following day and that a lot of the original Pokemon voice cast would be there. So I bought a ticket, drew/printed up a picture that I wanted to get signed and got up early to drive to the convention center (you have to understand that I hate driving in town and also very much never wake up early). I don't know what possessed me to do this but I'm so glad I did.

I ended up having the privilege of meeting Eric Stuart, Veronica Taylor and of course, Rachael Lillis.

She was masked up, looked tired, and a bit sick. And at the time, I assumed she might've caught a cold over the weekend of the con. I went to her table and she still smiled and gave me all of her attention and time. I paid her assistant for an autograph, gave Rachael the drawing I'd done and she got to signing it. Her assistant said the print I had was cute and asked where I got it. I told her that I drew it myself and that I spent a LOT of my time drawing Team Rocket and other various Pokemon fanart. When I said that, Rachel stopped mid-sign and looked up and squinted at me and asked "are you Kiana Mai"? My heart skipped. I had no idea she knew who I was and was surprised that, given how many Pokemon fanartists there are in the world, she was able to pick me out. I left that interaction so happy and felt so seen. Soon after, I went to get my print signed by Veronica Taylor and while in her line, noticed Rachael had left her table; presumably not feeling well and had to leave the con early. I remember thinking how lucky I was to catch her before she left.

A couple months later, I saw the gofundme that her sister posted, detailing what Rachel was going through for the past few years and her battle with cancer. It put that convention day in such a different perspective for me.

All I could think about was how much she cared about her fans and how in touch with her community she was to go to a convention while being in so much pain and suffering in silence. I obviously don't know her personally, but based on how other fans who've met her, as well as her colleagues have spoken about her, I got the impression that she was an amazing, thoughtful person who cared about the people around her. That was only solidified for me based on this singular interaction a few months ago.

Rest in Peace Rachael Lillis. You've touched so many lives with your voice and so much of us grew up listening you. Thank you for everything!

[ayviedoesthings]

I need to tell you how much the therian HRT universe means to me.

This morning, I had a moment of inspiration, and I understood how I want my tiger HRT story to end. I spent the rest of the morning crying under the emotional weight. I don't remember ever being this emotionally invested in something before.

With this story, you have inspired me to continue to write, to learn to draw, to throw myself into my creativity at a time when I was losing my drive. You've given me a way to connect with people, to make new friends, to truly become part of the trans community, to find my people.

You've also given me the realization that… I don't identify with humanity. Everything about every one of these stories hits HARD, and the only way that could be the case for me is because I am and always have been therian. You've given me a level of self-understanding I might not have ever found otherwise.

This world that you've created, and shared, and allowed us all to play in, it has been a gift and a blessing, and I will hold it in my mind, in my heart, and in my very soul, forever.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Those are very touching words, I'm always glad to hear that I'm helping! That's all I want to do

Thank you

[semina-art]

About me

Hi there! I finally decided to write something about myself))

My name is Irene Semina, I'm 34 y.o. and live in Russia. No children, no pets, freshly divorced)) For the past 15 years, I've been working as a packaging designer, and before last year, I had practically never painted anything. I'm not an artist, but it became a hobby for me in July 2023 when I started reading HP fics.

Last year, I started reading Drarry because that was my comfort pairing when I was 14. I decided to reread some of my old favorites, but after a few stories, I got bored, so I tried one Tomarry time-travel from my favorite Drarry author... And here we are)) The first Tomarry/Harrymort fics I read were in Russian, but soon I switched to AO3 and started reading mostly in English. I love drama, slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers… Give me death, blood, despair and cruel Tom and you'll win my heart XD

I am a self-taught artist and have never considered it a hobby until this... unhealthy obsession with Riddle)) But I'm soooo glad I'm here! I LOVE the Tomarry community, the authors, the fics, the artwork, it makes me so happy and helps me get through life's difficulties. I also have a Telegram channel, where I've found a lot of online and offline friends, warm community and support.

English is not my native and I'm quite shy, so answering your questions and leaving comments are extremely stressful)) I always overthink my responses and worry about whether you will understand everything and forgive me my poor grammar) I feel like an idiot pretty much all the time XD I'm totally fine reading without a dictionary, but lack of practice and confidence in speaking and writing can be frustrating sometimes =_= But it's ok, this Tomarry obsession has already improved my skills, that's just one more to improve.

Thank you for your support, comments and reblogs, I really appreciate that! Love you all <3 <3 <3

[purgatory606]

I don't even know where to begin. I'm so fucking angry and devastated and heartbroken that I'm having a hard time processing my thoughts and putting them to words. If I begin to write what this show meant to me, I'll end up writing a 500-page book. I have never seen a show that is so blatantly queer and had storylines and characters that I personally related to so SO much. Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland will live in my heart forever. I saw myself and the things I've been through in these characters, and I'll never forget it.

I have never engaged with any fandom like I have with this one, not once in all the years I've been on tumblr. And I'm so fucking glad that I did. I've come across so many amazing people. Fuck I've even discovered queer people who are Bengali/Bangladeshi because of this show. I don't think I'll be able to explain how much this means to me. In my 23 years of existence I've only ever found one queer person irl. Do you know how fucking lonely that feels? This is the first time I've truly felt like I'm part of a community. Netflix can go fuck itself. I'm never leaving this fandom, I'll continue to post, read all the amazing fics, look at art, and who knows, maybe I'll even end up writing my own season 2.

[adventuringblind]

Stash

Oscar Piastri x Autistic Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Summary: Oscar confronts his lovers' weird habits for food storing.

Warnings: talks of eating disorders and past abuse

Notes: based on personal experience. My therapist says she's glad that I have an outlet. Apparently, writing myself into scenarios like this is healing. Who would've ever thunk it??

Masterlist

Oscar was prepared for a great many things when his girlfriend moved in with him. Things they had already talked about extensively. Like how she has her own routine that she follows, even if it doesn't feel like it. Or how she has sleeps on top of the duvet instead of under it.

Things that seem very minor to him. Apparently, other people have said it's weird, and she felt the need to warn him about her habits before moving in. She likes to communicate like that. Another thing he loves about her.

What he was not expecting was to find food stashed away in the most random places.

He didn't confront her about it at first. Maybe this is just a way she feels safe or a reminder to herself to eat something when she sees it. But then he started getting concerned when he wasn't seeing her eat at home.

She followed him around to races and could eat at restaurants, given she was with safe people who didn't tease her for being so plain. She ate snacks when she felt the need.

While she was out one day, he asked Lando over. The Brit was mildly confused as to why he was helping search the depths of the flat for food.

"You litterally have stocked cupboards."

"It's not for me! My girlfriend is stashing food around the house, and I'm trying to see if there is a pattern and maybe figure out why."

"Have you considered asking?"

"Not after she joked about her relationship with food."

Lando, who knows very well how hard eating can be sometimes, comes to the realization that there may be more to this then just sensory issues. Insecurity and scrutiny are hard things to deal with. He wouldn't be shocked if that's the reason she has foods she loves in places Oscar wouldn't find them.

Eventually they do find a pattern. It's not about where they are hidden, it's about what is hidden. It feels as if a child thought they were going to get in trouble for not asking to eat first. It's saddening to Oscar that his lover doesn't feel she can just eat normally around him.

"Do you know if she grew up doing this?"

"No clue."

~~~~~

When she got home that night, she found Oscar setting the table for dinner. Which is already odd considering they don't eat at the table. She hates eating at the table. It feels like she's being judged while she eats and makes her unable to think clearly.

But she would suffer through it. Why? because Oscar has made her comfort food, and it would be a crime not to eat with him after he did such a thing.

"What's all this for?" She asks while setting her things down.

"Well, I know you hate the dinner table, but we need to talk about something, and I thought comfort food and dim lighting might help the anxiety."

She takes her seat and thanks him for the gesture. The pit in her stomach aching with the thought of what he may want to talk about.

"So, your food stashing habits...."

Oh. Oh no. She'd been found out. She is going to get lectured just like she did at home. The one thing she was trying to desperately to avoid.

She drops her head in shame. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong, alright?" I just need to know why and if I can help. You're not eating full meals when we're home and the food your hiding makes me think your self-conscious. I just want you to feel safe here, with me."

She sighs. The female knew she would have to confront this eventually. It's not that she doesn't feel safe eating here, it's that these are learned habits that she has yet to unlearn.

"My parents would often get upset when I didn't eat what they made. It's not that I was being ungrateful, I just couldn't keep it in my mouth without gagging. Textures and things."

Oscar hums as he listens. He knows textures are hard for her. Food, clothing, even certain blankets are hard for her to feel.

"My parents were also always talking about my eating habits. So, to avoid being scrutinized, I would hide food in my room to eat when nobody was around."

Oscar is a soft person. Easygoing, quiet, and according to Lando, boring. In this moment he is none of those things. He feels for his lover that she doesn't feel safe eating at home because of her parents.

Thus enters a time of Oscar warming her up to eating in the house. Not just small things, real meals and snacks and simply whenever she's hungry.

It's definitely a slow process. Oscar still finds food in strange places occasionally, but he leaves it and reminds her that it's okay to put her food in the cabinet.

He never makes a mention of what she's eating. Even if he's just curious. He never talks about it.

Eventually, she starts putting her food in the cupboard. conversations about food become a little easier and doesn't send her into a flurry of insecurity.

Every little step counts, and Oscar is proud of her for every single one she takes.

[imaginative-123]

Why Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss have a Misandry Issue Part 1

A part of me questions myself if I have to make this post, but then I decided in my free time I finally let go of my doubts and have finally decided to make this post, bec deep inside I wanted to be honest with both of these shows how it depicts men including men who are part of the LGBTQ spectrum, the post will be me going in depth of the creator's shows, that includes the analysis and criticisms of Vivziepop's work.

TRIGGER WARNING:

This post will contain Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, R@pe, Power Dynamics/ Power Imbalance, Misogyny and Misandry.

If you are uncomfortable with this topic that I'm going to discuss, you can choose not to continue reading this post however if you are willing to continue regardless of the contents and sensitive topics that I'm going to discuss, please proceed with caution.

So first let's talk about Misandry, since this term isn't as well known as Misogyny, Misandry's definition is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex). However Misandry is a term I didn't recognize being used until this year when I found on Reddit that there are few posts and comments talking about it compared to Misogyny, and it surprised me why isn't this term isn't as talked about but then in my experience on Twitter and Reddit that there are certain subreddits and other comments denying that "Misandry doesn't exist."

To which I disagree while yes I'm a woman, I do see and experience Misogyny in online spaces including in real world and other women face thru issues like sexism, physical and emotional abuse from other men, r@pe, sexual harassment and etc., that still doesn't excuse being biased and ignore what men faced thru in real life, there are stories I've seen from other men who were drugged and also being physically abused by their ex girlfriend or other women, r@ped and sexually abused by the older woman or in this case an older man, I've seen a video before of a guy singing on stage only to get groped on his dick by a woman and she laughed at him and at the end he was shocked and left the stage from embarrassment, falsely being accused of sexual assault, toxic yaoi fangirls sexually harassing gay or straight men of who's the top and bottom, little boys being molested or raped by older people, families and that includes male and female teachers, telling Men to stop crying bec Boys can't cry, there is also a Twitter post from a woman wishing Male Suicide rates go up, there are few Twitter posts from Women wishing to abort male babies from existing, ignoring Male SA Victims and laugh at their experience bec they got "lucky" and wish they got into their place, Media that makes jokes about Male SA and etc., seeing these stories from men who experience that really made me feel sorry for them and I don't think they deserved that. Plus, this isn't me discrediting female victims I do also support them including male victims, in regards to r@pe just bec it happens to women it can also happen to men including people on the LGBTQ community and nobody deserved to be r@ped, I'm not an SA Survivor, but I'm so glad I didn't experienced it bec of how traumatizing and horrifying r@pe is, and also a comment earlier I've seen on Reddit is that Women and children r@ped and died from the hands of men, yes I'm not denying it definitely exists but doesn't mean we can ignore that it can happen to men including little boys in the hands of their abusers and murderers. Also my brother was physically abused by my father and my sister had to witnessed the abuse on front of her, my Mom and Dad were always fighting personal problems and I was also physically abused by my father before my parents separated and it took me years for my father to changed as a person before he died in Sept 5, 2016 due to Stroke. Plus this year is his death anniversary, I understand if there are children who can't forgive their abusive parent but for me my father proved to me that he can change as a person and I have already have forgiven him before he died.

The main reason why I want to discuss Misandry bec it relates to Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss while I can see many posts discussing how poorly the main female characters are handled by Vivziepop and I completely understand why the critical community have issues with that, the issues that happened with the male characters in regards to Misandry have few posts which is why I want to tackle it.

The next topic I want to tackle is the MLM or Gay Representation in the show Helluva Boss bec this also the main reason why I made this post.

Vivziepop and her crew loved to boast and pride about their Queer Representation but as someone who watched the show, as a bisexual woman myself, the Queer Representation is just as shallow and a mixed bag to be honest, the reason for that is Viv's depiction of gay men is not only misandrist but also sexist on how they were depicted. But before we deep dive to the male gay characters on how they were depicted I wanted to focus on the term that is mostly being used on fictional gay relationships that is Yaoi. Yaoi is a Japanese term for manga that features sexual romance between men, specifically as created by and for women. In the West, yaoi is used more generally to refer to any anime, manga, fan fiction, that focuses on romance between men. Although to be fair, Yaoi from what I've seen can also be consumed by gay men, the main reason I brought up Yaoi is that because Viv's shows are being accused of stereotypes about gay men such as fetishization of r@pe, power imbalance, sexual harassment and etc. That's because Yaoi is a very controversial subject in the community where there are gay people who are split about the depictions of gay men in Yaoi and BL's, there are gay men who dislike the fetishization and that it only appeals to women but there are others who defend it as just fiction.

For me personally I don't think there's an issue with consuming Yaoi or BL's and I'm not saying women can't enjoy it, but as someone who is desensitized to the stereotypes that BL I consumed in my earlier teen years I can't just ignore the real issue, bec back then I used to be a proshipper, I used to defend artists who were being sent death threats and harassments from antis and I used to defend problematic fiction and ships and I always go thru arguments with people who don't like it, I was offensive and also not mentally well in the past but as of this year I no longer support Proshipping since I do not stand by that including my not so great behavior from the past, but that doesn't mean I will not stoop down to the same level of antis that will harass or threaten proshippers and I don't accept that. However just bec it's fiction argument, it still needs to be criticized for valid reasons, and also just bec Yaoi have stereotypes does this mean the entire genre is like this? No, there are other stories who don't fall into the same problematic stereotypes, but still sadly, Yaoi and BL is still controversial for continuing it's stereotypical depiction of gay men and it's also mostly present in Webtoons and Manhwas.

When I revisited GoatJesus' video about Examining the Yaoi ★ BL Genre where he as a gay man analyzes but also criticize Yaoi's depiction of men but also praises other shows for straying away from stereotypes and there are certain parts of the video that stood out to me that I will put here where GoatJesus talks about the main points about Yaoi. To which I edited 2 clips into 1 video.

Regarding the women who write BL or Yaoi's, I'm not against women who write that specific genre, nor I'm mysogynistic that women have no freedom to write stories, and I do believe that not many female authors fall into writing stereotypes about gay men, however this does not mean that I can't just ignore that other women and other most popular female writers who still write harmful views onto gay men and this comment under GoatJesus video sums up my main issues from that online article that was being discussed.

The reason it's related to Vivziepop, bec Viv herself a female writer still falls into writing stereotypes about gay men and I will finally discuss on the subject of Helluva Boss first before Hazbin Hotel. The first characters we will going to tackle is Blitz, the main character and founder of IMP, and he himself is also confirmed to be Pansexual.

I'll be completely honest, Blitz is an interesting character, he himself have relationship problems of his insecurities getting in his way and mostly the mistakes that he made to people whom he used to be closed with, and he usually acts as confident and arrogant and badass on the outside but deep inside he had issues, but the way the show tackles jokes that Blitz made is really uncomfortable most especially in Season 1 where he made rape threats to Moxxie and his wife Millie.

That next episodes includes making demeaning jokes to Moxxie and let's not forget sexual harassment and invading space of the Imp couple.

The biggest problem is that Blitz up until Apology Tour had never tried to apologize for making Moxxie uncomfortable and invading him and his wife's personal space, while yes it is true that Blitz himself craves for a healthy relationship that he sees in them that doesn't excuse his past actions. This is not only the issue I see in Blitz's character this is also how other characters also treat him like dirt. Let's start with Loona, Blitz was a caring but also overprotective of Loona bec he himself first discovered Loona at the adoption center for Hellhounds where he saw Loona fending herself against a male hellhound who tried to hurt her and she herself was alone and crying about how depressing her situation was, which thankfully Blitz with good intentions did finally adopted her and became her dad, throughout S1 Loona herself was like any other emo goth girl but for Blitz regardless of Loona's personality still loved her, this however changed in Spring Broken where Loona developed a crush on Vortex and that's where Blitz developed his overprotective tendencies to which when they got in the human world where Loona tried to start a conversation with Vortex until Blitz interrupted them bec he wanted to focus on the main goal of getting back their parking space from Verosika and that's where they both started arguing bec Loona thinks Blitz can't leave her alone and she told him he's not her real dad and she herself views as an adult, Blitz cannot control his overprotective tendencies and Loona tells Blitz she doesn't need him. Loona later tries to apologize but Blitz cuts her off and tells her to enjoy her break while he continues finishing his job, although after Millie defeats the fish monster they both came back in the human world, in Truth Seeker, Loona and Millie where willing to rescue the boys who were left in the human world and being abducted by the Dhorks and Loona was willing to help her team defeat the members of the Dhorks and Loona was given a kiss in the cheek by Blitz and he was proud of her for helping IMP to which she was embarrassed but still continues fighting. The episode that stood out to me is Queen Bee which is the last segment where Loona takes care of the drunk Blitz and was willing to let him rest after Blitz tells her his insecurities of his fear of dying but Loona reassures him she will be there for him.

You know maybe Loona wasn't that bad to Blitz right? Right? Wrong, in the past I used to liked Seeing Stars bec of Loona and Octavia's relationship develop like sisters, yet this however doesn't excuse the problem on how Loona treats Blitz as she's suddenly violent and being abusive to Blitz for no reason like Blitz regardless of me not excusing how he treated Moxxie, but I don't recall him sexually harassing Loona nor talking about her body, all I remember is him trying to be a good dad to Loona yet somehow he's in the wrong for wanting Loona to be better and yet at the end get kicked in the nuts for no reason despite Blitz wanting to apologize to her because?

"HAHAHA! IT'S GIRLBOSS, AND FEMINIST TO KICK MEN IN THE NUTS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN COMEDY! PLEASE LAUGH!!!"

That's not funny, that's insulting and it definitely regressed the development of Loona and Blitz father and daughter relationship in the first season. Loona however just like Blitz had never apologized for treating people in the wrong and the show somehow forgot about it and it just went back to normal. So anyways let's talk about Stolas, Stolas is by far one of the most controversial characters in the show bec there are people being split about his character, there are fans who loved him but there are haters who truly hated him, bec there are reasons the critical space is not fond or welcome of him, that's bec he has the power in the relationship bec he and Blitz were in a transactional relationship where Blitz is required to have sex with Stolas so that he can still borrow the Grimoire book to the human world for his business of killing people. The Reason there is a Power Imbalance comes from the fact that Blitz an Imp that is a lower class demon and Stolas is from the Goetia a higher class demon above imps and not only Goetias are also racists and looked down upon Imps with the exception of Octavia. This is the common trope that you may see in problematic relationships that also includes transactional relationships in Yaoi and BL's where the Seme has the power and masculinity in the relationship while the Uke is lower and have no agency of his free will and this is the equivalent of a heternomative stereotypes that is placed upon 2 men, while there are people who analyzed Yaoi said that it have Misogynistic tropes bec of hetenormative roles places upon men, I'd say in my opinion it's more Misandrist bec it doesn't view men in an actual gay relationship but in a lens of a straight person on how they view gay men. This is however in Helluva Boss the roles are reversed since Blitz is the top while Stolas is the power bottom, but let's be real if Stolas a Rich Goetia is the Top and have power in the relationship while Blitz is the bottom in lower class it would be much more controversial and people would see it more as sexual coercion. But bec the roles are reversed and why there are fans of the ship don't view it as toxic bec Stolas a gay bottom man was babyfied by the narrative that can't do wrong in the relationship and that Stolitz is just a misunderstanding of bad communication in a relationship when if anyone with critical lens would look deeper and see the relationship as problematic and there is a power imbalance in their relationship yet I found out that one of the fans of HB said that Stolitz is meant to be endgame by Viv, and I was like did Viv see nothing wrong in their relationship? The relationship was built from transaction, including Stolas sexually harassing Blitz in front of his daughter, was the result of cheating from his wife Stella as to why she was rightfully upset at her husband and it was retconned in Season 2 to make her a cartoonish villain with no depth compared to Stolas, and they were supposed to be canon at end? No thank you, Ma'am, Blitz deserved a better partner than Stolas or hell he could've fixed his relationship with Verosika since I found their relationship more interesting than Stolitz, yet Blitz was the one who should apologize to Stolas instead of Stolas taking accountability and not apologizing for looking down on him, sexually harassing him and having the power in the relationship. It's just frustrating to watch that not only diminishes the YT views of S2 compared to S1 but the relationship overtakes the premise of the show about assassination. Doesn't help the fact the show has the will they don't they kind of relationship where the show finds Stolitz to be romantic but also not romantic at the same just like how Viv and her writing staff view them.

Now let's talk about Chaz, he's the character I truly hate on my first viewing of him last year when the episode was released, he's the embodiment of everything wrong with Helluva Boss with it's overused of sex jokes relating to male genitalia or dick jokes and sexual harassment, the guy was just only part of Crimson's Mafia and being both Moxxie and Millie's ex boyfriend. His only character was just being annoying, talks about how sexy he was, his dick, sexually harassing Moxxie and annoying Millie and we don't exactly know why they break up, and his music theme is annoying to listen to. It's even worse that he's Pansexual and just like the main male characters in the show where they nonstop talk about their genitalia like Blitz, I'm serious what's the purpose of his character anyway? He almost serves no purpose to the narrative unless it was just him marrying Moxxie so he can get into Crimson's wealth. I'll be completely honest I'm glad he died, I felt so frustrated to watch him, and unfortunately he had a cult fanbase dedicated to him and there are others like me who don't like him either. I feel like I'm questioning Viv's view on gay men is disturbing to be honest.

Lastly, I wanna talk about Moxxie, my dear poor bisexual Moxxie, he was the character who was the the victim of sexual harassment, the butt of jokes, being humiliated for being in a healthy relationship with Millie that is being set in Hell. I do feel bad for how he was treated by the narrative that involves around SA, the show constantly makes jokes about Moxxie being SA by Verosika and her crew including Chaz and Blitz,

Doesn't help the fact in which he was forced to marry Chaz when he's also forced to wear a Wedding Dress against his will and was being tied up and turned to a damsel in distress for Millie to saved him, I'll be completely honest, I have no issues with Moxxie being Bisexual, the issue comes from the fact that the female and male characters humiliate and SA him and was being forced to a feminine role against his will, it's one thing if a gay man wants to express freely his sexuality and I have no issue with that, men can express being gay and not be shamed for it. The issue was that Moxxie was being forced against his will and it was irritating to see him like that, the last time the show never humiliates him is when he licks Blitz Asmodeus crystal to help him to activate and go back to the human realm bec Blitz conveniently can't activate it himself. However this does not excuse how the past episodes treat him.

This is the post I will make for Helluva Boss bec I have to rest and I will make a second post about Hazbin Hotel when I have time since there's a lot of stuff to unpack in another post. Just a reminder, this post I made have no bad intentions towards Vivziepop and her staff, this is just me a Bisexual Woman who consumes BL who was also being critical of the genre that I'm consuming and giving my personal and honest thoughts of Viv's depiction of her Gay men in her shows. Just a reminder if you want to comment on my post that's fine but I do not accept bigotry and homophobia, bec I might as well block you, all I want is a personal discussion of the gay representations being represented in the show. Thank you and Goodnight.

Edit: I just found out that there is a minor retweeted my post while I do understand that they are also critical of the show however my account says Minors do Not Interact since my post also tackles adult themes that is not suitable for minors and also I personally disagree with their views on Lucifer but regardless, if a minor sees this post please do not interact. Bec I might as well block you, I don't think an adult like me should be discussing adult stuff in front of minors in online spaces.

[coffee-and-tea-time]

KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP! KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!

HEHEHEHEHEHE I WAS WAITING TO COOK THIS

Coffee insanely speaking! Thanks Dear, you gimme the perfect excuse to write a second part just in time although I expected the option of talking to him to come first. Not that I'm complaining lol

➤ first part

➤ here to see the other option

↪︎ ☾ I love to see you ....................................... .......................................☆ I love to hear you↩︎

TW: yandere behavior, delusions, murder of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, somewhat willing reader, kinda denying of bad decisions

Of course, the best option is to stay still, not because you are enjoying this no no, of course not...

Despite his soft voice that sounds rather familiar, you can't really recall who or where. So the safest option is just giving in at the moment, you didn't know how he could react so the safer the better, isn't it?

A smile starts creeping on your face against your will, seems like you are a rather bad actor when it's required, huh? 

“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”

Hearing a close mouthed giggle following the whisper makes your heart flutter softly, like this is some kind of really romantic scene in his mind. You were able to hear the faint sound of footsteps, he seems like he's doing a little room tour, making it a little hard to hear him.

“Oh Dear, you were researching that thing again?”

It seems like he found his way into your phone, what was he referring to?

“Why do you keep reading so much about romance? Are these words good enough to keep your focus?... Maybe I have to start practicing oral expression? It's been a while since I felt like that, last time was when you downloaded that stupid dating sim… This is truly irritating, the names they use, the way they ‘communicate’ to you; do no justice, I can express myself way better, my love, and how my eyes change when I see you walking by… just... please, I need only one chance, and I promise you won't have a room left for doubts”

Even though he made the effort to lower his voice in order to 'not wake you up', it's clear how his tone is changing with every word depending on the topic; First, a low hint of infatuation, then, what sounds closer to a plead and, finally,...was that...hopelessness?

Honestly, in a normal situation, you would be annoyed by someone searching through your phone but only an idiot would think this man would judge you even if you had pictures of dead people there, more like he's genuinely looking for more of you, despite the fact that it's really not the ‘proper’ way, you can't say it didn't work.

“My beloved Cherry, what can i do for you to talk to me? Those characters seem to steal your attention quickly… I would be lying if I sad I'm not a little hopeful because of them though, you seem to have quite the specific taste, Cherry, and I believe I fit perfectly on them... if only I could find the right moment to get into your routine, to be part of your life…”

Weird that he worries about getting to talk to you with an ideal scene but not worrying about stalking you, but maybe it's kind of understable? Since well, everyone likes to check on their crush on social media even if they take a while to actually talk, even if this guy took it a little too far, he sounds... harmless like his wish is just to win your affection…

wait a second…

Are you truly relaxed in this kind of situation? What is going on with you? Why? Why… well, can't say you didn't ask for this, even as a joke, you know this time is different because it's real, but… why does reality feel like a fantasy right now? Is it because of him?

“Huh, I come here as a routine by now, I still get the same queries, I’m dying to find the answers soon..”

Sensing that lightly sweet fragrance once more makes you know he’s approaching your ‘sleeping’ form once again, making it easy to hear him despite his constant whispering.

“Would you let me cuddle you? Would you let me kiss you? Would you mind if I were clingy? Would you mind if I get jealous? Would you mind if it seems like I already know more about you than I should? I want to hold you my dear, I can’t wait for the day I can just snuggle with you every time we want… I really can’t wait anymore, I need to be closer to you… I guess I have no option other than to talk to you out of the blue, I dislike to be so imprudent, but I promise I will make up for it once you accept me in your life, Love”

You feel a gentle hand slightly caress your cheek as a little peck is placed on your forehead, making you almost smile like a fool if it weren’t for the fact that pretending to sleep is your priority in this sweet moment, unexpected but called for moment.

“Sweet dreams Cherry, I have to prepare what I should say tomorrow, I will put all of my efforts to be my best self to make a good first impression, I hope I snatch enough of your interest to be on your mind even for a moment”

Oh, he is definitely gonna be stuck in your mind for a while, as you try your best to focus on the sounds, you catch his steps as he seems to walk away… but you keep up with your act just in case.

So, tomorrow, huh? Seems like once again you have important decisions in your hand, should you indulge in your fantasy and let him get near you? It also sounds fun to go to him first… But, maybe you should try to avoid him? It’s the safer choice, but do you really want that? He seems safe enough not to raise any of your flags, he seemed so caring for you…

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest

[luveline]

Hi! I remember a while ago you said zombie!au Steve might have a hobby of drawing? Would love to see some of that maybe w r as his muse:D

steve zombie!au fem. 1k

You return to the camp with your new best friend at your side. In matching coats, no less. 

"Christ," Steve says, shaking his head in disgust. 

He loves —loves— that you have a friend, someone who might care about you just as much as he does. You deserve to be loved, and cherished, and known for your worth. You're a human vestibule of sweetness and God knows it wasn't going to be long before someone else noticed. 

But matching coats? "Alright, where's mine?" he asks. 

"Didn't have your size, handsome," Eddie says, giving you a quick and purely amicable hug. "See you later." 

He scampers off to who knows where and you sit down. You don't hide your happy smile, and Steve's glad for it even if it does make him jealous.  "He's so nice," you say. 

"No, he's not." 

"He is. He's almost as nice as you. And he helped me find you something." 

"After he outfitted my girlfriend in a couple's costume. I'm surprised he had the energy." 

"You're so jealous," you say, your happy smile growing in size with the seconds. 

"I'm actually making myself feel sick." 

"I can wear a different coat if it–" 

"Shut up! As long as you like me better, wear what you want." He shakes off his petty jealousy and takes your hand. For once, he's sitting on a towel rather than just grass or dirt, but his efforts to avoid extensive grass stainage mean nothing when your muddy shoe brushes his leg. "Nice. Thanks." 

"Sorry, sorry," you murmur, swinging your backpack off of your shoulder and sighing as you bend into yourself. "Jeez, my back hurts." You breathe out, a low moan of sound that drags. He can feel your pain. (He can't, but he figures that he loves you so much you're now connected spiritually to one another.) "How come I keep going on these expeditions and you keep staying home?" 

"I'm good with the kids." 

"Mm. Maybe you'll come on the next one anyways? I miss you when I'm gone." 

"I miss you too," he says. "More, I'd say." 

You giggle. "Whatever, you always have to be better than me. Shut up! Shut up, I'm trying to give you the things I found for you." 

Steve draws a zipper closed over his lips and flicks away the key. You get into these moods with each other sometimes, perhaps from having spent as much time together as you have, where a faked aggression rises between you. It's almost like you would've spoken at the start of the end of the world, when it was him and you alone, and Steve wasn't in the best of moods. The play fighting soon dies down as you open your bag; receiving gifts is always a pleasure. 

"First, underwear." 

"Thank you," he says, accepting the eight pack of boxers you offer like a man who's crawled the Sahara being given a glass of water. "So much." 

"You're welcome. Socks, a shirt, a new belt, a brace for your knee." You dump it on the towel next to him one by one. Your bag must've been heavy carrying all this, and it keeps going. You've brought him soap, hair elastics, razor blades, chapstick. The community you belong to is heavy on sharing, but you're free to bring home whatever you like so long as you're willing to carry it unaided once you've contributed to the food drive. You've clearly crammed your bag full of stuff for him, unveiling only underwear and socks for yourself. 

"You couldn't find any toothpaste?" he asks. 

You toss a pack of cigarettes at him without force. "Sadly, no. But I think Robin can get us some with those, right?" 

"I wanna smoke these so bad." 

You laugh and shake your head, fondly disapproving. "You don't! We can just kiss more, alleviate your cravings." 

"Weirdo." 

You lean forward, putting your cold hand on his cheek to leverage him closer. "You knew this when you met me," you say, kissing his cheek.

Steve's good on the cravings front after that. He swears that when things are at their worst a kiss from you could keep him going. Your lips can ease the ache of an empty stomach and the shattering heat of his ever-sprained knee.

You pull away gently like you're worried you'll hurt him in your detangling. Honestly, you might. Steve imagines you leaving sometimes like his arm being torn off. 

You reach back into the back for a parcel wrapped in a shirt for protection. The pencils and sketchbook you got Steve are long gone, lost with the rest of your possessions in the middle of a college campus on the Michigan border. Finding things like that is hard, and it hasn't been on Steve's mind. 

Apparently, it's been on yours.

"These are nice ones, right? The pencils?" you ask, having unwrapped your parcel, a soft backed sketchbook and a small metal case of pencils in hand. "There's only twelve, but I even found a sharpener so you won't have to do it with your knife. Sorry there's no black, I know you like the darker details."

Steve flicks through the sketchbook without thinking, every page blank. It isn't very big either, but it's perfect for purpose. 

He sets it aside with the pencils near all your new things and gets on his knees, tugging you in for a hug. "Thank you," he says, and he's said thank you a hundred times to you, but this one feels awkward, clumsy in his mouth. 

"You're welcome. Just promise you'll draw me again." 

"You're the only thing I want to draw." He kisses your cheek in emphasis. "You're the most beautiful thing everywhere we go." 

"That's such a line," you say, sounding melted. 

Easy, he thinks, turning your face to his for a kiss. Soft, as sweet as he can manage. With you, kisses start soft and end too rough, he can't help it. He remembers you're there and his to kiss and it drives him crazy. 

It's a little easier to stop today. Steve is genuinely eager to draw again, and in a week or two there won't be a page in his book without your likeness, his muse. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for indulging in my boyfriend's cuck kink?

Alright, so for some background, both me (25, M, panromantic asexual) and my BF (28, M, bisexual) live in a VERY conservative rural area, literally NOBODY knows we're together even though we've been dating for years and the community is pretty tight-knit, that's how much effort we've put into hiding ourselves. We've thought about moving out but honestly other than the constant threat of being found out our life here is pretty great, we know everyone in the community and are on very friendly terms with them, we were both born and raised here so we're honestly kinda scared of losing everything and starting over in a new place, plus I really want to stay to support my dad because I know he can already get pretty lonely as is (mom works out of town, only visits for holidays if even that, plus I don't have any other siblings to keep him company) and me moving away would hurt him a lot.

Now, with that out of the way onto the actual situation: the cuck thing is something me and my boyfriend have discussed about at length, he's not shy about it to me and I'm always glad to make him happy so I'd be open to trying it if the opportunity arose. The thing is- I never really thought there WOULD be an opportunity for it due to the circumstances described above. Well, that was until a girl we both know confessed to me on Christmas Eve. That girl- let's call her Ellie (23, F, straight(?))- is someone I've actually had feelings for a while now (my BF knows and told me he'd be fine with me dating her as an 'official' relationship, but only if I keep us a secret), however I never did anything about those feelings. I was honestly kinda shocked when the confession happened, but in a good way, and I ended up accepting in the heat of the moment, so now me and Ellie have been 'officially' dating for about a month.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole: since that happened my BF has started to hang out with the two of us while we're acting like a very lovey-dovey couple and he's obviously been getting off on that (as in, it's obvious to me, doubt anyone else picked up on it) and I've been having mixed feelings about this. On one hand we did talk about it and agree to it, but on the other I do think this is unfair to Ellie in a way that I didn't realize previously because I never realistically considered this happening. My BF is reassuring me, saying that it's best we keep hidden anyway and that so long as nobody finds out no harm is done, but I still feel kinda bad about it, yet at the same time I don't really know what I should do in this situation to make it right. The whole thing only gets even more complicated when you account for the fact that Ellie is our pastor's granddaughter and as such comes from a very well known family in our community, a family that has a reputation to uphold, and if the thing about me and my BF came out it would surely impact her badly in that way as well. On the other, she really gets along with my son (8, M) and I really think that she'd make a great mother to him so I don't want to deprive him of that and break things off just because of my own personal drama. On the other OTHER hand I also don't want to break up with my BF because it would feel cruel in my opinion, especially when I very much still love him.

So, AITA for keeping my promise and just going along with this and keeping quiet to save myself and my BF?

What are these acronyms?

[giraffeboat]

Hello!! I don't usually post stuff on this blog but I just wanted to ask

How's the Sanders Sides fandom doing??

Are we still alive?? Cause while I left the fandom some time ago (after being completely immersed for 3 years) I recently found myself coming back into it and I'm really sad to find not a lot of creators or new content recently. I know that there hasn't been lotsa canon content but c'mon guys!

Where are the aus, comics, animatics?? Incorrect quotes?? Fanfics?? You can't tell me I'm the only one who misses the booming community! It really felt like a family back then and I really miss that, it seems not so many people are into it, or even find it cringe!

Honestly for a while, I did too, but then I realised, do I find it cringe, or do I not want people to think I'm cringe cause I like it?? And hey, it makes me happy, so why not??

Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough and it's still alive? Anyways it's evident that it's not as big as it used to be, and that's really sad!

I'd love to see that community once more and sincerely hope it sticks around! I wonder if there's anything the tss community can to to kickstart the fandom and get it up and running again!

Anyways, thanks for reading if ya read this far :)

Edit: Glad to see it's not as dead as I thought, Hey, been seein some, so why don't you use the replies n reblogs of this post to do a lil self promo for your sanders sides content, perhaps share some of your favourite blogs, writers and artists in the comments so we can see :)

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello. I'm, um, not entirely sure how to talk about this. I hope it's okay if I misspeak. I'm a human, right, so I think that needs to be clear more than anything, but I've been very involved in the creature community for years now. I live by a great big lake and I always liked to walk down the shore late at night or early in the morning, you know, just to try and get out of my own head, and one night ages ago I accidentally tripped over someone's jacket and twisted my ankle. It was a gorgeous fur jacket, too, not like any kind of fur I'd seen in a jacket before, but just stunningly soft and thick as Hell.

Now, of course I didn't take it, that'd be awful, but also I had just hurt myself in kind of a nasty way and so it wasn't like I had anything else to do but sit by the shore next to the jacket and waited, and yeah, a few hours later one of the lake seals popped its head out of the water, looked at me for a good long while, and then...well, I mean, you know how the rest of the story goes, I'm sure.

Anyway, it's been a few years now and I've become really close to this family. I didn't really know anyone in my town before meeting them and I'm not on speaking terms with my own folks, so in a lot of ways these people have become my family, and it's an honor that they trust me to keep guard of their cloaks and such when they go out. But I've got this problem, right, and it's just...over the years it's felt less and less like I fit in with other humans. All my friends are nightfolk now, my family hates me even more because they're bigots--in this night and age, can you fucking believe it--and it's just like every night I get further and further away from the shore.

I'm just scared because...I don't *want* to stop drifting away. I've had dreams of joining them down there in the lake, practically every night for months on end. I've tried doing research into methods of joining the community but I don't want to become a vampire, I don't fancy any lunar-aligned nonsense, nothing has felt right except selkies, but I can't decide if I'm just self aware enough that I need a push from an outside viewer to try and accept something I already know full well...or if no, actually, that little voice in my stupid head that won't go away that keeps calling me a fraud, an invader, an appropriator--what if the reason it's not going away is because it's right and I really don't belong?

Just...please be honest with me. Am I a complete asshole for spending hours every day trying not to just outright beg my family--sorry, chosen family--to help me sew myself a cloak, or is there something to this?

First of all, reader, please rest assured. As long as you are speaking from a place of kindness and a willingness to learn, you don't need to worry about using all the correct terminology. I always try to listen generously when people come to me in need, and I encourage our followers to do the same.

Unfortunately I can well believe that bigots like your biological relatives still exist. I'm glad you've been able to extract yourself from their hateful society, and have found comfort, support and kinship among the nightfolk.

You say there is a little voice in your head calling you a fraud, casting doubt on the validity of your feelings. As much as you might want to push it away and stop your ears, I want you to listen to that voice, just for a little while. Pay attention to the language it uses and what ideas it seems to have about the world.

And then ask yourself: is this my voice? Does that sound like me? Or does this sound like a last, desperate, wriggling remnant of the people I've worked so hard to distance myself from?

Every one of us is raised with a narrative, a story about the world and our place in it, and how we should treat the people around us. We're told that story by our parents, by our teachers and schoolmates, by television and books and a million other sources. The story is so vast and so all-encompassing, it takes an enormous effort to be able to see any single part of it clearly.

Imagine, then, how hard we have to work to realise some of that story is untrue, or harmful, fed by hatred and fear. To start untangling ourselves from the rotting, strangling roots of the story we've known all our lives, and start planting something new and fresh and honest.

It sounds to me like this little voice is one of those lingering strands of the story you were raised with – one where liminality is nothing to admire or strive for, and where you cannot be trusted to know your own mind, and your own needs. It's time to tell yourself a better story.

You've found people who honour you with their trust and who make you feel supported and loved, as you deserve. You admire them, and want to be like them. None of this sounds “stupid” to me.

This is not a decision to be taken lightly. By all means, take your time, and talk your feelings through with your family. But I think you already know what story you want for yourself, reader – and for what it's worth, I think the world will be better for its telling.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]