#i'm glad to have written this down so i could get everything sorted

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 26

a/n: i'm so glad you're all still here with me after that long break. thank you to @bahablastplz for editing. ahhhh i'm getting so nervous for you all to read the next few chapters! alright, fuck it, here we goooo!

[ read chapter 25 here ]

Chapter Twenty-Six: Of Tears and Relapsing

The following morning you untangle yourself from Hyunjin and head straight to the bathroom to wash up. You throw on a pair of black jeans, combat boots and your school hoodie before heading to campus with Jeongin and Allie. You try your hardest to focus on whatever it is your teacher is droning on about, but your thoughts continually shift back to seeing Chan later and having ‘The Talk’.

You consider delaying the inevitable, you could probably talk Jeongin and Allie into making a pit stop on the way back like you did with Changbin and Seungmin what feels like years ago. You know that’s not the right move in this situation, though.

After class, you make it back to the house—walking in like a woman on a mission. You have to rip the band aid off now. Felix lets you know Chan is in the workout room, and that’s exactly where you find him. The house is equipped with two garages—one double, one single. The singular garage is walled off from the larger one and filled with all sorts of workout equipment—a treadmill, power rack, bench press, stationary bike and various kettlebells and weights.

Chan is seated on the bench press, sitting up at an angle and facing the mirror across from him. He turns to you when you enter, and you feel the familiar, heavy thumping of your heart behind your chest as you approach him.

“How was class?” he asks with a smile.

He seems to be in good spirits, at least. However, that doesn’t seem like a good thing knowing what you’ve come here to say to him. You remain hopeful that you can handle this delicately and he will understand where you’re coming from.

“I don’t think I retained much, if I’m being honest,” you reply.

You look around the room for a place to sit, but there aren’t any chairs. Seeing your dilemma, Chan stands from the bench and walks towards you. The sight of him walking to you causes a lapse in your regularly scheduled breathing. He’s clad in a pair of gym shorts and a black muscle shirt, leaving his shoulders, biceps and forearms on full display. His veins are more prominent than normal—accompanied by a slight gleam of sweat covering his exposed skin—showing he has been putting the equipment to use.

When he’s close enough, he puts his hands on your waist and delicately guides you towards the bench. You feel the instinctual pull to touch him, too. To grab him, wrap your arms around him and pull his mouth to yours. But you refrain.

“Sit,” he instructs.

You pull your backpack off, hugging it to your chest and sit sideways on the bench. Chan takes a seat on the treadmill across from you with his legs outstretched in front of him.

“I’m sorry about the other day, I was—” you begin.

“It’s okay,” he interjects, shaking his head.

“No. It’s not,” you proceed. “You were there to prove the exact things I said to be wrong...in hindsight I could have handled it so differently. I am sorry for what I said.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, after everything…but I get it.”

You nod, hoping he really does.

“I never got to properly say it either, so—thank you. For the rose,” you say, opening your backpack in your lap and digging out the card inside. “…and this.”

You hold up the card, the word written on it is facing him. His eyes don’t even acknowledge it, they’re focused on you instead. He arches an eyebrow, though, seeing you take it out of your bag. Perhaps surprised, or pleased, to know you’ve kept it close since he gave it to you.

“This is fucking heavy, Chan,” you say when you realize he isn’t going to speak first.

He looks down at the ground in front of him, tearing his gaze away from you for the first time. He remains completely still; the only sign of movement is when he blinks.

“It’s true, though,” he says softly.

“Why? Why me? Why all of a sudden? You tell me I have to be the one to stop this, to stop letting you ruin me, and now this?”

“It’s not all of a sudden…I don’t think,” he contemplates. “I’ve just given up trying to fight against it now.”

“Do you realize what you’re asking me, though?” you place the card back in your backpack. “To let you throw away your life for me?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…”

“It is.”

His face contorts at that, offended.

“I mean, the sentiment is beautiful, don’t get me wrong,” you say with your hands up. “But the actual thought of it is awful. I could never let you do that. What happens if we don’t work out when the school year is over? We have to be realistic about this.”

Perhaps Changbin should give him a lecture on simulacrum, too. Maybe that would help get him to see through the lust filled haze that consumes the room when it’s just the two of you.

“That wouldn’t happen,” he says incredulously, finally looking into your eyes again.

You take a deep breath. You want to appreciate his optimism. You want to smile at his words, to tell him you agree. You can’t do either, though. You can’t encourage this behavior. For his sake, whether he realizes it or not. There’s a contract in place that clearly outlines you are forbidden from being with him when this is over. Letting him choose you, means letting him throw away everything else.  

He stands from the treadmill and approaches you again.

“Do you think I would let it?” He asks, stopping in front of the bench. His eyes are still locked on yours as he places his hands on your knees, slowly spreading them apart so he can step between them. “I’d make you so happy, y/n.”

His russet brown eyes are soft, almost pleading, as he speaks. That, combined with his hands on you, is almost enough to unravel your restraint.

You gently remove his hands from your knees and shake your head, looking down at the ground.

“I can’t.”

He hooks a finger under your chin and tilts your head up.

“You could.”

You can see the sincerity in his eyes now. He means this wholeheartedly. It should feel more assuring to hear, but it leaves you feeling terrified. You’ve never had anyone care about you this way or shower you with such devout proclamations.

“I won’t, Chan,” you shake your head again, keeping your eyes on him this time. He needs to know you mean it.

His eyebrows come together as his lips turn down ever so slightly. It’s clear he’s not used to rejection, least of all from you. He drops his hand from your chin and takes a small step back.

“Okay,” he gives you a curt nod.

You watch him carefully as he continues to retreat from you.

“Just ‘okay’?” you repeat. “You know I care about you, that’s not what I’m saying here. It’s the exact opposite, in fact.”

“This is your decision to make, and you’ve made it,” he says, turning his back to you and walking to the treadmill.

He steps onto the treadmill, starts tapping the buttons until it turns on, and begins to lightly jog. You stand from the bench and put your backpack over your shoulder, feeling flabbergasted that he would just abruptly end the conversation like this.

You walk along the side of the treadmill and stop next to him.

His words and behavior feel unfair, but after the actions he’s taken that are so on par with the man you know he can be, you understand that this might feel like a rejection. He has to understand why you’d make this choice, though, right? Even if he can’t see it now, he has to eventually.

“I’ll text you when dinner is ready?” you ask, opting not to push the subject any further.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

His tone is drier than the Sahara. Still, you offer him a small smile before turning away and exiting the room.

You sit between Hyunjin and Chan during dinner. He seems okay, but doesn’t say much to you directly other than asking you to pass the condiments. When he’s doing eating, he heads straight down to the basement with a few of the other members. You keep your composure as you clear the table, not wanting to jump to conclusions or take deep offense to his actions. You remind yourself that he just may need some time to think things over, like you did.

You help the girls clean the kitchen, chiming in on their conversation occasionally but otherwise remain quiet. You shower in his room, as normal, then climb into his bed. You try wait up for him, but end up dozing off.

When you wake up the next morning, Chan isn’t lying next to you. You must have stayed up til nearly midnight and he never showed. You try to think if he came to bed at any point during the night but can’t recall if he did or not. Part of you knows you’d remember, the other part of you wants to remain in denial that he would avoid you to such an extent. And where is he this morning, even?

He does have a morning class today. Perhaps he just went in early. Perhaps not.

You push back the blankets and get dressed before going down to the kitchen to make breakfast. You make a large pan of scrambled eggs and fry up some bacon for the others. You attend your afternoon class, and when you make it back home, you have to go straight to the den. Rhiannon and Charlotte are already inside, covered in blankets and watching something on the TV.

“Do you want us to turn it off?” Rhiannon asks.

“No, you guys are fine,” you tell her, dropping your backpack to the floor as you sit at your desk. You pop your headphones on and focus on your assignment.

Halfway through, your phone buzzes.

It’s Chan.

Come upstairs.

You save the document you’re working on without hesitation and make your way to his room. You want the chance to speak to him again, to check in and see where his head is at. You have to get him to see that you’re doing this for him, not to hurt him. Hopefully he’s given it some more thought on his own.

The door to his room is open when you get there. You enter the room and close it behind you.

“Chan?” you call out when you don’t immediately see him.

He saunters out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair whilst fully naked. The sight does startle you, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Your eyes do betray you, though, flickering down to his exposed cock, then back up to his face.  

He tosses the towel onto his bed as he walks towards you without saying a word. He cups your face with his right hand, stroking your cheek tenderly before bringing you closer. Maybe he wants to show you that he still cares. So, you let him.

His lips meet yours and you let out a soft sigh.

Yes. I’ve missed you, too. You convey as you kiss him back.

He places one hand on your waist, pulling you with him as he walks back towards the bed.

“Take your pants off,” he instructs.

You stare at him for a moment, recognizing the flat demand in his tone. You’ve not heard that in a while.

“Chan, can we—”

“Off.”

Your hands are already working on the button and zipper of your jeans as your brain struggles to catch up with what’s happening. You slide your pants off, followed by your underwear as you assume that would be his next command if you don’t. You sit on the bed and slide back, watching as he crawls onto it, advancing towards you. You try to interpret what he’s thinking from his eyes.

You feel a sliver of something in you crack as you realize there’s nothing there. He’s looking at you, yes, but it doesn’t feel like he sees you.

Once he’s hovering over you, his mouth is on yours again. You’re kissing him back, wanting to give him whatever reassurance you can, to fix the damage you may have done to not only him, but yourself as well.

“You still want me, yeah?” he asks, pulling away from you.

You cup his face in your hands, staring into his hardened eyes, pleading with them to see you.

“Of course I do,” you tell him.

You attempt to bring his mouth to yours again, but he pulls back. In one swift motion he flips you over so you’re on all fours. You look over your shoulder to see him spitting in his hand before cupping your pussy with it. He rubs you, in the way he knows that you like, slipping his fingers inside briefly.

He grabs his cock and lines it up with your opening and thrusts forward, hard and deep, with no warning. You let out a startled gasp and drop your head. You can’t deny how good it feels to have him inside of you again, regardless of the thick tension hanging in the air.

He says nothing else as he continues to slam into you, gripping your hips, smacking your ass, grunting out his apparent frustrations. And you let him have it, let him have you, let him take it out on you.

You reach your hand down between your legs to rub your clit. He grabs a hold of your arm to stop you, bending it slightly and holding it hostage against your back.

You moan as he fucks and restrains you. Unable to deny how amazing it feels. And you want more. You always want more.

“Chan, please,” you beg. “I want to come.”

“No,” he growls.

He releases your arm and places both hands on your hips, pulling you against him with wild force, causing you to scream out.

“Please?”

“No.”

You know this is what he likes—and it’s not as if you’ve lost trust in him. Perhaps this is a twisted form of punishment. You hate that you’ve hurt him. Maybe this is how you can make it up to him. Maybe he just needs to get this out.

His pace quickens and he suddenly pulls his cock out of you. In seconds you feel his warm come coating your back as he groans through his release.

When he’s done, he grabs the towel he tossed on the bed earlier and wipes your back clean. You collapse onto the bed, feeling unsatisfied at your orgasm denial. Your clit makes contact with the fabric of the sheets and your body instinctively starts to move against it to create more friction. You feel his palm connect with your ass forcefully and whimper at the pain, immediately halting your movements.

He slides off the bed and retreats to his dresser, pulling out a pair of boxers and slipping them on. He then takes out a pair of shorts and dons them, too, followed by a shirt.

“You can sleep in your own bed tonight.”

He walks to the door and exits without saying anything else as you choke back a sob. He hasn’t spoken to you this way in months. You almost managed to forget how physically painful it feels.

On Wednesday morning, you’re up with the sunrise. You hardly slept through the night; so much tossing and turning and just staring up into the darkness. Anytime that you actually fell asleep, you woke up soon after with your brain already in the middle of an anxiety-stricken thought. And the cycle repeated itself again and again.

You didn’t expect Chan to jump up and down with joy at your response to his confession, however you also didn’t expect him to retreat so far back into his shell. He somehow feels further than he even was in the beginning. How can he so abruptly go back to treating you this way? Like an object.

Your initial instinct is to make excuses for him. He’s putting his walls up in self-defense, to protect himself from the pain that you’ve caused. But, no...you can’t reason away his behavior.

At least not while maintaining your own sanity. And you need to start prioritizing that, if you intend to leave this house unscathed. As much as you care for everyone here and will be saddened to leave them in a few months, you must put yourself first. You won’t have any of them to lean on when this is over.

Chan’s alarm for his morning class blares through the room and you sit up in bed, watching as his hand shoots out from under his blanket to silence it. He grumbles and stretches before throwing the blanket off. He lets out a long sigh, swings his legs off the side of the bed and sits up too. You wish he could learn to sleep with a shirt on sometimes.

He looks over at you, eyes squinted as they adjust to the light of day.

“Good morning,” you say softly.

“Morning,” he replies.

“What was that last night?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

He shrugs.

“No.” you shake your head as you push your blankets aside and walk to him, standing between his legs. “You’re not doing this to me.”

While his expression is blank, his eyes are saying so much but you don’t have the code to decipher the meaning.

“What was that?” you ask again.

“How it has to be,” he replies.

“Why would it have to be like that again? Just because I refuse to run off into the sunset with you?”

He shrugs once more.

You take a deep breath and let out a long exhale.

“Chan.”

“I don’t know how to do this,” he admits. He places his hands on your hips and you feel the familiar warmth his touch provides course through your body. Instead of pulling you closer, though, he moves you to the side so he can stand. “I don’t know how to want you, and want be to with you, and still accept that fact that you’re okay with this ending.”

As he’s talking, he walks around the bed and into his bathroom, you follow after him.

“I’m not okay with it,” you tell him, reaching out for his hand. “Is that what you think?”

He looks down at your connected hands, then up to you. 

“What I think, what I want…none of that matters. You’ve made that clear, y/n.”

“So, you’re okay with spending the next three months like this? Just fucking me and nothing else?”

“That’s what you’re here for,” he says coolly and removes his hand from yours.

You grit your teeth and swallow the expletive hanging on the tip of your tongue. You resolve to just nod your head as you slowly back out of the bathroom. He disappears into the closet, and you turn around on your heels. How can this man, whom you know for a fact is capable of giving you so much warmth and fleeting, albeit dangerous, glimpses of his love, turn against you so quickly? For a decision that’s not truly yours to make, all you feel you can do is accept the truth of your situation.

You don’t even bother to grab your phone before exiting the room, wanting to put as much space between the two of you before you spew words that you might later regret.

Fuck. You.

[ read chapter 27 here (coming soon ]

a/n: our poor Channie has no healthy coping mechanisms. be gentle with him. more coming soon! you can join the mailing list [ here ].

[sillylittlestoryblog]

(Not) Hard to Love

Part 2 (2/2)

Trafalgar Law x Reader

Warning:⚠️ smutty situation, angsty thoughts

Authors Note: sorry that it took so long to post this. I was having a few bad days, just struggling with my confidence. Now I m doing a bit better. So here you go. Hope you have fun 🥰

this is by far the most suggestive thing I have ever written. lol. I hope it doesn’t suck too bad. If you like it, leave a comment. It does wonders to my mental health ❤️ (btw this raspberry jam is just in the story because I have been planning on making it for the past months and this is my reminder to get up from my lazy ass and make it! )

You were relieved, after days of almost doing nothing, because the sun was too hot and your thoughts too distracting, you were finally able to work again. It was one of those days were everyone was doing their best to restore and repair their beloved home.

The Thousand Sunny was a big ship. And after days of not doing much, it often needed some time to get everything organized and clean again.

Knowing your captain wasn’t the biggest fan of an organized living space, most of the work was split between the rest of the crew. While Nami was always on board keeping an eye on the ocean, Sanji was the one who was keeping the kitchen organized, while preparing the dishes for the day.

Franky and Usopp were repairing something in the library, while Brook and Robin were sorting the newest books, they got on the last island.

Luffy and Zoro were supposed to take care of everything on deck, which already wasn’t much. But after cleaning the girls bedroom, you walked towards the kitchen and saw both of them sleeping in the sunlight. Random, uncomfortable looking items being their pillows.

You just rolled your eyes and smirked. These two weren’t really cleaning themselves regularly, so why would they clean something else. It didn’t really make sense why you guys kept asking them to organize, even though you kinda knew they weren’t gonna be much of a help.

Opening the kitchen doors a warm sweet smell came towards you.

Sanji was standing at the stove, filling sugar into a red liquid.

"Uhhh, this smells amazing. May I have a taste?" you point to the boiling jam in front of you with an outstretched finger.

"Of course, my dear."

The cook gave you a spoonful of the sweet liquid and without blowing for long you tasted it.

"It tastes wonderful, Sanji! I'm already dreaming of how it will taste on the fresh crossaints you make from time to time."

The blond man grinned. He had to concentrate now. Not get distracted. Even if he particularly liked compliments from you.

"I'm glad you like it. I bought lots of raspberries so I could cook them for you.

I just realized that a little vanilla is still missing. Could you do me a favor? I have fresh vanilla in our storage room, I just forgot to bring them up from downstairs earlier. Could you get them quickly from below deck? I don't want the jam to burn.“

"Sure thing." With a smile, you walk back towards the door. You suck in the wonderful smell once more before quickly scurrying outside.

You had given Sanji the recipe for this particular jam a few months ago. Your mother used to make it when you were a child.

With quick steps, you skip down the stairs towards the storage room.

Your mind was full of warm memories of sunny mornings. Jam on baked goods. A table filled with fresh food. The last good days of your childhood.

Being on the thousand sunny was kind of like that time. With a smile on your face you walked towards the entry.

The groaning door gave you the creeps. Chopper had accidentally locked himself in down there once before. So, to be on the safe side, you put a box between you and the door. That way, it won't fall shut the next time the wind blows.

The light was already turned on in the storage room. You expected the little reindeer, who often spend time organizing and storing medicines down here to refill them in his little doctor's room when they were empty upstairs.

But it wasn't this doctor who was waiting for you in the far corner of the room.

Law was sitting on the floor looking through several boxes of pills.

Presumably he was going to take care of refilling the medicine room. Chopper probably send him, because he was still scared of last time.

You whisper a quiet "hey" in his direction so as not to startle him.

Law just looked up briefly and mumbled something in your direction.

What was his problem? You were starting to get angry again. Everyone was trying to build a home, be nice and him?! He was just not accepting you whatsoever.

How could someone be so arrogant and ignorant ?

A loud bang snapped you out of your thoughts.

The heavy door had slammed shut.

How could that be? You had just put something in between.

Annoyed, you turn to Law.

"Shit, now we're locked in here. I can't believe Franky still hasn't fixed the door!"

You push against the door with all your strength. It doesn't move. With a loud groan you press on the door again. But it doesn’t help. A large hand rests on your shoulder.

"Hey. let me try it, Y/N-ya. I'm sure I can get the door open."

You step aside and let the dark-haired man go at it. He also pushes against the door with all his might, but it doesn't move a bit.

Frustrated you started screaming for your friends to help you out of this awkward situation.

"Hey Namiiiii! Luffy! Frankyyyy!!! Help!"

"fuck! don't shout in my ear" Law

dramatically put his hands to his ears and stared at you angrily.

"do you want to get out of here or not?! Apparently mister-I can do anything- wasn't strong enough to open a simple door after all."

"Excuse me?"

The captain turned to you. He looked down at you, annoyed.

You took a step towards him. Pointing your finger on his chest.

"I finally want to know what your problem is?"

"I don't have a problem"

"Oh? Really? You're a fucking liar, Law."

"It's none of your business, what's wrong with me. Don't talk to me like that.

Your crazy captain has decided to form an alliance, and if that's a problem for you then talk to him and not to me."

Annoyed, Law turned to the side. He only took one step before you pulled him back by his shirt sleeve.

"Hey! Stay here. I don't have a problem with you or the Alliance at all."

Your back was against the cold iron door.

Law actually turned back around and took two steps towards you.

Only now do you realize how close he was to you.

"Why are you making it so difficult for me?"

His gaze was still avoiding yours. How much you would have liked to look him in the eye now. But then you probably wouldn't have been able to hold back. Your emotions were already getting the better of you.

You spoke to him much more calmly than before.

„What's so hard, Law? I can understand that you don't like me as much as the others. But why do you hate me? Is it that hard to just like me? Or even less. Just to accept me?"

Tears welled up in your eyes. Your own words stung your heart. All you wanted was to be looked at him. Be seen.

Law still stood rooted to the spot in front of you. One hand in front of his eyes, he shook his head.

„What makes you think I hate you?"

Your voice wasn't ready to answer that question. You just shrugged your shoulders, sobbing. You would like to sink into the ground. Now you're crying in front of the man who has no interest in you. You were a failure. A pathetic girl crying in front of her crush. Nothing more.

"hey. Shh. Don’t cry. Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Sternly but without anger in his voice, Law put his index finger under your chin. So that you can't help but look into his gray eyes.

" I don't hate you, Y/N-ya.“

A sigh escaping his lips. His eyes looked different then before. You almost thought he was leaning in. And the air around you got thicker and filled with more tension.

„I really don’t. Quite the opposite in fact. Ever since I saw you for the first time, I've been attracted to you. I just can’t act on it.

I have responsibilities and… I'm not a particularly good person. I've done bad things. I've taken lives when I should be saving lives as a doctor. I don’t want more people to get hurt because of me. And to be honest, I've never had feelings like this before. I have no idea how to deal with it.“

He looked down. Almost debating if he should say the next part.

„I think of you. All the time. I lay awake at night and all I see is your face. I long for your touch. And I want to learn to love, Y/N-ya. But I'm afraid of it. Fuck."

He took a deep breath. And exhaled.

"I want you. I need you.... And I don't know how..."

"Shhh."

Now it was you who put your index finger on Law's lips and slowly stroked his cheek with your hand.

"Just kiss me"

Horrified by your demanding words, Law looked down at you. He forgot how to breathe for a moment. His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he could hardly hear anything else. Your lips opened to say something. He didn't want you to change your mind. He took your face in both hands. Before he pressed his lips to yours.

"Just so you know. it isn't hard to fall for you, Y/N. But I m afraid, I have no clue what I m doing. My life is..."

"Law... just kiss me"

You moved forward again, pressing your lips to his. Law felt like the walls he had build up so maticulously, melting away by your kisses. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore, letting his desire take over.

Soft moans escaping your mouth while he pressed you against his body and the door behind you. You were caged in by his arms fully accepting whatever was gonna happen now. Your hands exploring the doctors body, while kissing each other hungrily. Law let out a low groan. This was better than in his daydreams. Your soft hands roaming his chest. Tracing his tattoos with lingering touches. One of Laws hands firmly placed against your hip. Shoving you against the metal door. Law was overwhelmed by his emotions. Not a single thought in his mind while he started grinding against you.

Using your moaning as chance to slide his tongue into your mouth.

His lustfull eyes being the most beautiful sight to you, while you buttoned down your summer dress.

Law was breathing heavily. His hair fully out of place by you tugging at his dark strands.

He can’t remember the last time he didn’t take the time to unbutton his shirt, but right now he was rushing to get it over his head. Throwing it down on the ground next to your dress.

Moving towards each other like magnets, lowly groaning between kisses, Law lifted up your thighs around his hips. Moving you against the door again.

His jeans rubbing against your panties. Making you cry out his name.

And for the second time that day you were interrupted by the same door you were making out against. The (stupid ) door opened with a loud hiss. Falling out of its angle. You and Law tumbeling and falling to the wooden floor.

This was a very annoying disturbance to your newly found passion. But it definitely wouldn’t have stopped you from showering Law with kisses, if it wasn’t for the circle of people and a very shocked reindeer standing around your almost naked bodies.

You and Law got up from the floor with red heads and stupid explanations. Feeling humiliated but kinda happy.

Law held his shirt protectively in front of you and hoped fervently that no one was looking at his jeans.

You looked at a bunch of different expressions.

Nami grinning. Robin, playing shocked, with one hand over her mouth. But she couldn't fool you. Her giggle was the first to be heard from the crowd.

„We really only planned for you guys to finally talk about it… that all… -

Nami made some hand gestures towards your half undressed bodies and the broken door on the ground.

„ - was not our intention.“

Usopp covered his own and then immediately afterwards Chopper's eyes. While Franky and Zoro toasted with sake in their hands. Apparently everyone was part of the stupid bet.

Luffy just looked back and forth between you and Law, confused. Obviously he hadn't quite understood yet, what was so exciting about this situation. He had seen you guys in swimwear before, not really something different in his eyes.

Sanji had blood all over his shirt and on his nose but tried to control himself. And thankfully pulled the others towards the exit.

"Don’t you guys look at Y/N-san like that. That’s not how you look at a lady.

Lunch is almost ready… let’s go Luffy.

Let the two of them go. We'll get the food ready."

Nami pulled Usopp towards her by the collar.

„So Usopp... I hope you remember our agreement... right?"

Laughing, the Strawhats left on after the other. Leaving behind two embarrassed pirates.

Franky mumbled something about "now I really have to fix the door"

While Chopper desperately tried to figure out what had just happened.

Robin gave you a wink while walking up the stairs.

Embarrassed, you looked at Law.

He took your hand and kissed it gently. Although it was hard for him, he tried to stand in front of you as confidently as possible.

" umm that was something… you know…

We still have some time before lunch. Would you like to… continue?! … What do you say Y/N-ya?"

You look at your intertwined hands and then back to Laws face. His face blushing, his eyes looking on the ground even though he would much rather look at your beautiful body before him. You stand on your tiptoes to give a quick peck to Law's lips.

"You may be right there is still some time. But I'll only follow you if you promise to use your devil powers this time. I wouldn't survive being caught like that again." Giggling, you put your arms around Law's neck.

"Okay then, let's pick up where we left off."

He gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead before lifting his hand. A smile on his face as he heard your heart beating loudly.

„Room“

[bun-z-bakery]

A/N: whooo finally posted everything I've written so far for this story ^^ ofc there's more I gotta post BUT we're getting somewhere!

My Angel Doesn't Need Wings (6)

The feeling of pain courses through your body, forcing you to wake from your unsolicited slumber. You instantly realize you're not in the same area as before or even remotely close to it. It took you a few seconds to remember how you got here, once you remember, the image of that creature watching you from the shadows sends a shiver down your spine.

It brought me here

At this point, it feels like you're wandering aimlessly. Home Sweet Home wasn't exactly welcoming, and the chill in the air made you feel like you were being watched.

So many eyes were on you and this time you knew you weren't imagining it. Sighing happily you open the door, leaving home sweet home the same way you came in, you only managed to take two steps before you're tackled onto the floor and pinned down by a pink blur.

"H-hey it's me!"

Kissy Missy holds you down as you try to squirm away, she was stronger than you had thought.

"NO! NO! LET THEM GO!"

That familiar voice fills your ears, you weren't exactly too happy with her but you're glad she was there to help you.

"THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!"

Kissy Missy moves off of you and helps you stand

"You're alive?! That train situation wasn't cool. What even happened?!"

You ask as you dust yourself off and straighten out your filthy and now-tattered outfit.

"It... It's a long story"

"Well I'd like an explanation"

It was more of a demand, your guard was up once again.

“You’ve been through so much… you deserve an explanation. Come on.”

She explains what you should've been filled in on a while ago. Nothing in this place makes sense and this just made it worse, you had more questions but little time to spare. Catnap, Ollie, and the prototype were new names you've never heard before, one was a friend but the other two sounded like more trouble for you.

‧₊ ๑˚.・

The sound of a phone ringing catches your attention, hesitantly you answer

"Hey... Hey can you hear me?"

A kid?!

"H-hey kiddo, ya lost?"

You're concern for him was evident, how could a child survive down here? Especially in a place like this?

"You look kinda lost. I don't want you to die- so I'm gonna help you!"

His cheerful attitude made you smile, it made you feel something after being trapped here for who knows how long...

‧₊ ๑˚.・

Ollie was able to aid you the best he could from wherever he was. If anything he helped you get further than you would've on your own. The thought of a kid being trapped down here for who knows how long makes you shiver, it makes you wonder how he even got here or managed to survive for so long on his own.

‧₊ ๑˚.・

"Crap!" Your blood rushes as sweat runs down your face. You thought the schoolhouse would be a safe place to rest if you found an empty room, but you were far wrong.

Ms.Delight was the one who roams around the school and she was horrifying; her damaged condition made the sight of her even worse.

The clicking of heels echoing behind you is hot on your tail.

"I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!"

You chant as you bolt towards the room just ahead. As soon as you make it you notice there's a lever next to the entry you have no idea what it did but you pull it in hopes it still works.

You gasp and cover your mouth, gagging at the terrible crunching sound that fills your ears.

Ms.Delight was crushed under the heavy metal door. The disgusting sound of metal and plastic being crushed would haunt you for a long time. 

You move your trembling hand from your mouth and stand there, staring at her destroyed form. You back away hesitantly from the scene and sprint away.

At this point it felt like you were walking in some sort of endless maze, the hallway you found yourself in was odd, it was eerily quiet and the smell of blood was as strong as a freshly painted room.

Did they use these...as prisons?

You scan what you believe to be cells, slowly making your way through the halls, until a voice stops you.

"You..." The voice made you whip your head around, you weren't sure what you were expecting but it wasnt this...

"You're Poppy's angel, come to save us." His voice rasped. He was strung up by belts, he was mangled, filthy, and obviously left for dead. The state of him made your heartache.

"Nothing left to save, not here–" he was abruptly cut off by the weight of his arm hitting the floor. You cut the decaying belt with your switchblade. 

"Angel, please–" he pleaded as you cut the other belt and snapped. 

"NO!" Your response came out harsher than expected, but it caught his attention. He tries using his arms to sit up and stares at you; the despair in his eyes is as clear as day. 

 

"The amount of death and suffering I've seen here is enough to last all of us a lifetime," you begin as you crouch down to meet him.

"I've been helped this far by those who are tapped as well." 

You gently pet his matted ear.

"So now it's my job to do the same. No one gets left behind."

The dog sniffled as if he were holding back tears. 

"We have to go, now!" He pointed back at the little toys you both were familiar with.

"Hold on to me!"

"Wha–"

"Please there's no time!"

He cuts you off and you quickly hop onto his back, you two just barely escape the small critters.

You felt terrible that he had to drag part of himself on the floor but it couldn't be helped. You took note of his arms, they were trembling, but he did his best to keep moving.

"HOLD ON!"

You had no time to react, your body jerked as he took a sharp turn, it was difficult for you to properly take aim and use your flare hand to ward off the toys but somehow you managed to hit a few. The tight squeeze of the tunnels gave you flashbacks to when you first got here, you hate being in such a tight space and being chased through them.

"They're gaining on us!"

You shout as you try to shoot another flare at them.

"A jump is coming! Hold on!"

You brace yourself for the jump and your bodies bounce as you both make contact with the platform.

The landing was rough but you're glad you both made it. You two try to catch your breath and you make an attempt to stand, but suddenly you're back on the floor and entrapped in a tight embrace.

"Angel, you're amazing, you freed me, you... You saved me!"

His hug becomes tighter once you wrap your arms around him. "Angel" seems to be a nickname they gave you upon arriving. If it gave them even a sliver of hope, then you didn't mind being their "angel". The giant dog sobs onto your shoulder as you carefully pet him, gently reminding him he's safe now. 

 

"What's your name?"

He perks his ears up but remains silent for a moment.

"My name... is DogDay..." The hesitation in his voice made you question his intentions, but once you recognized him, you hug him tighter and smile into his chest.

"Nice to finally meet you, DogDay!"

As much as you hate to admit it, he was a bit terrifying compared to his animated counterpart that you grew up hearing stories of. But you put aside your fear to comfort the giant dog, you're his angel after all.

[evereverest2]

Little Monster Q&A + author fun facts !!

hello new followers and fans of Little Monster. first of all, i just have to thank everyone for the crazy support ive been getting as of late. thank you everyone. every like, comment, and reblog just pushes me to keep writing, even when it feels like every word i write is garbage.

so i decided to make this little special! idk if anyone will be super interested, so ill put all the stuff under the cut, but i also wanted to add this little drawing i did of terzomega as like extra content. if you arent interested, thanks anyway and enjoy the art!

—

to everyone who stayed, i have no idea why you’re interested, but thanks lmfao. this shit will be long.

Questions

Is your most recent oneshot about the mirror related at all to Little Monster? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i'm glad you noticed that !! in The Mirror, i very purposefully left two hints at the end of the fic to indicate its connection to Little Monster, which was the taco ring reference and Terzo's use of "mostriciatto". to me, mostriciatto will always be the Little Monster version of terzomega. no matter when i finish that fic or if i write more fics after, i will never again use mostriciatto unless im purposefully writing these versions of terzomega. i havent seen anyone else use it (i hope they dont), so i like to imagine this can be forever my impact on terzomega fics lmao. anyway, the purpose of me leaving those references isnt necessarily to say, "this is a future scene of little monster" bc it isnt exactly that (while i have plans that line up with this oneshot, i cannot anticipate that everything will fit perfectly by the time we get there in the canon). the purpose of doing that was to show u cuties that yes, terzo and omega will eventually have a better relationship, and i will be extending this timeline into papa terzo era. just a fun little teaser for my more observant fans.

also, fun fact about how i came up with that pet name. i was writing the first part of Little Monster (that part is now titled Spilled Wine as featured on my Ao3) and i knew i wanted to give terzo an affinity for using pet names, but i didn't know quite which ones to use. i didn't want to be boring, so i googled some. i have no idea where, but i found mostriciatto, meaning, of course, "little monster." i had yet to even really start writing it, but i knew i wanted it to be DARK with a very unhinged omega, so i thought, perfect. ill talk a bit more about the writing of part one later on

2. How many parts do you currently anticipate writing? Do you have a set ending point, or will this perhaps be an ongoing project for the foreseeable future? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i have 12 major plot points (including the first five parts i have written) that loosely translate into parts. this could mean 12 parts, or it could be more depending on what i write. i kinda plan on expanding this to 18 (6 parts per “era” or “act” [you’ll see what i mean]) though i dont quite have a set ending yet, so really its up in the air. i am, however, planning on having a definitive ending, ergo not an endless project. from there there may be some oneshots in this universe, but they will have an ending.

3. In the first part of little monster you put a disclaimer with something along the lines of "if you're expecting comfort I'm sorry to disappoint". The angst is MWAH but do you like plan on giving Terzo like any sort of comfort or happiness?? (from @puuuders)

before i begin rambling, here's your answer: there will be hope and good times as mentioned above, and you might have even picked up on that in part 5. i may have wrote a fucked up versions of terzomega but whats a good story without character growth?? i havent determined the direction of the ending, but rest assured, if it all burns down, they will hold each other close (for the minute it takes).

but also.... funny story about that disclaimer....

soo i wanted to write ghost fanfic to impress my friend who is a VERY avid member of this community. however, i failed to realize they DO NOT like angst without love and care and fluff, so after i showed it to them, buddy did not like it. i took that as a sign that maybe this shit was a little TOO dark.

but my god, i could not stop thinking about it, as the caption said, and i dont always feel that away about what i write. i had recently started to post semi often to tumblr, and i just thought. well, theres gotta be someone else as fucked up as me, and i posted that shit. that disclaimer was a result of taking my friends reaction seriously and realizing that i needed to make it VERY clear that this fic is NOT for everyone. there was a different og caption that was longer and more grave, but i cut it down for aesthetics bc little monster has already seen more success than i ever anticipated.

4. What is your favorite ghost album, and what song introduced you to ghost? (from @puuuders) & Favorite ghost song (or songs) (from @ask-enso-ghoul)

my favorite album is Infestissumam!!! the vibes of the album are so fucking immaculate, even if terzo is my favorite papa.

of course, of course, the first song i ever heard from ghost was Mary on a Cross. it blew up when it did and i loved it. the second song that really made me start getting into ghsot was square hammer, which will secretly also be my favorite ghost song but ive heard it so many times i have to give it now to the future is a foreign land. some of my other fave songs are jigolo, respite, body and blood, faith, twenties, and year zero (there’s just so many)

i want to take a second to say my least favorite album though, which is opus eponymous, or as i call it, pope pussy. it’s ok. it’s just ok. mk. i’m not a fan of that sound. the best song on there is genesis. I FUCKING SAID IT—

5. how do you get into the zone of writing smut-? I’m trying to get into it but it sounds cheesy when I do, so do you do something specific? (from anon)

im gonna level with you. i have been writing for almost a decade, since i was 12, and the first thing i started writing was smut. sex has always been a HUGE creative force for my writing and art in general. as stupid as it sounds, writing smut to me is more than just that. its my art. its my greatest and most inspirational subject. i love being creative with it, bending it to the niches and intricacies of the duo im writing, just playing with it as a medium of expression, of storytelling, of how DEEP it can be.

that being said, one of the easiest ways to get into the zone of smut specifically is being horny ! you imagine your pairing doing some illicit bedroom activity and you pick them up liek dolls and smush their faces together ! let it be fun, and let it be yours. dont write it to please the kinks of your audience, write it to your own taste and enjoyment.

as far as it being cheesy, yeah, it will feel that way. the most important thing is to be confident with your language and don’t shy away from calling a dick a dick, a pussy a pussy, an ass an ass. it feels stupid, but it will read worse if you make up artsy names for them every other line. don’t be afraid to be descriptive either, because that’s what the people want to see, trust me.

apologies if that was unhelpful, ive just been writing smut so long i can hardly tell you how i do it. im jsut super passionate about it and it fuels me creatively….. can u tell lol

6. Favorite work you’ve ever done? (from anon)

so.... ive written many things and that depends. its definitely not anything ive posted on here.

i think my favorite "serious" work is a short story i wrote for a creative writing class, called Abel and Sally. it was an modern inversion of the bible story of abraham and sarah, with a really dark ending (i love to shit on catholicism)

the other work that comes to mind is the first story i wrote about my oc anson, called Anson's Prison. that is something i would potentially post on here, its pretty short but its a good one. its oc content, tho, so i doubt many ppl would be interested lel.

8. will you draw more drawing for your stories in the future? (from anon)

well. heres my thing with art.

ive been drawing as long as ive been writing. but im not an artist; i never learned ANYTHING beyond like drawing itself, i.e. i dont know how to shade, pick colors, do bgs, etc. (can u tell??? do u see that art up there???? can YOU TELL??) thus, i have a sort of love hate relationship with drawing, and i usually dont like my own stuff. i didnt pick up drawing as easy as i did writing and its not nearly as intuitive to me.

that being said, it is sometimes fun when the drawings turn out just right and i get super passionate about something i draw and i can create the image in my head. so if the mood strikes me, i probably will draw more terzomega stuff in the future.

but why do i need to?? @puuuders feeds you all SO WELL with little monster stuff you dont need my shitty art lmfao

9. MILK OR CEREAL FIRST? (from @raysoleil)

cereal. bc the moment the milk hits that cereal u are on a speedy ass countdown to devour that shit before it gets soggy, and brother, u better eat quick.

Things I wanted to share

Little Monster was supposed to be a one shot

so, Little Monster started as one thing and turned to something else entirely. originally, i wrote the beginning of the first chapter (where they are flirting in the church) in about april of this year. in this version, they were supposed to already be in love, though hiding it, and terzo was not drunk at all, just teasing. i eventually scrapped it because i wasnt very passionate about it and got p bored. then, in july, i had the itch to write something dark, but none of my projects at the time had characters i could really write that with. i came back to that scrapped fic and i thought, damn, i could really fuck these guys up, and i did.

little monster immediately became more successful than i thought it would be, and that was only about 10 notes and a comment in. i was happy to leave it at that, but then, i just started writing part two on a whim. if you look at the og post in the comments, i mention that im writing a "follow up". thats bc even when writing part two, this was not going to be a series !! but then, as i kept writing, part two became so long i had to split it in half, meaning there were suddenly 3. by the time i posted part three, though, i was shocked at the sheer amount of attention i was getting. at the same time, part three ended in such a way that i knew this story needed to keep going, to give these two a resolution. now, little monster will be a full fledged story thanks to all the support ive received :3

2. im an english major

yeah, you got me, im a college student majoring in english creative writing. is it obvious? my penultimate goal is to one day be a published author. it’s crazy surreal to me how much people express to me how they enjoy my writing~~ i hope i can one day make my dream come true 🥰 the unfortunate part about this is i go back to college next week and im uncertain how that will affect my writing schedule :p i’ll stick to weekly uploads for little monster tho dw !!

3. this is the first time i’ve written fanfic in several years

when i first started writing it was frerard and peterick fanfics on wattpad in middle school (huge shoutout to the ones that know lmfao). i stopped writing those before hs and haven’t written fanfic since. i think it’s very funny that i have come full circle back to writing band fanfic, altho ghost ofc is way more intricate with its canon

4. I LOVE YOU GUYS

i know i’ve said it a dozen times already on this post, but god it’s crazy. it’s nuts !! i’ve already made a handful of super sweet mutuals who i appreciate with all my heart, and even if you’re just a lurker, I STILL APPRECIATE YOU. EVERY SINGLE NOTE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. EVERY COMMENT AND RB HAS ME BURSTING WITH JOY.

it is entirely thanks to you all that i write terzomega and ive become so passionate about it. if it weren’t for your support, i would probably still be writing my silly little stories that no one but me could possibly understand, rotting away and wondering if anyone would even like my writing. terzo and omega are such a unique pairing compared to what ive written before, and writing them is a really cool feeling. i truly love it, and i hope i can continue to feed this side of the fandom for a long time.

from the bottom of my heart and with all my writing soul, thank you. i want to keep writing for u guys, and i want to satiate ur dirty terzomega fantasies >:) this is such a sweet and inclusive fandom and im glad i’ve been welcomed in so quickly. i hope i can continue to grow my talent here :3

ok that’s it bye teehee

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hey can you do a part 2 of "I need you to love me". Well it's smut but make it romantic. They Reader and Donna is in a relationship for sometime after the events of the story. They're happy they get to he with each other so they took it to the next step. The Reader put her to bed and it starting to get steamy. Donna was really overwhelmed and felt awkward because it's her first time doing it. Reader just tell her to lay down while she pleasures her lover. Reader did all sorts of errotic things to Donna to show how much she loves her. Their passionate night lasted for an hour and Donna is really sweaty at this point. After that overwhelming sensation she just fainted. Reader felt satisfied on what she did. Next morning they woke. Donna felt sore and Reader asked her if she's ok and if she hurt her last night. Donna said she enjoyed every seconds of it. Reader tells her she loves her deeply, Donna felt herself blush but tells the same.

Note: I hope you don't find this wierd at all because couples sometimes have their nights together so please write this down🙏. Also you're really good at making stories and and it's always long so I appreciate that. Even if I'm anonymous I request you some stories you've already written and I am thankful for you writing them. 😊❤️

Yess!!! Here it is, thank you for your request, and I'm glad to read that you liked the first part :)))) I hope you like this one and sorry about the language mistakes!!!

That night full of love

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Minors DNI, fluff, insecurities, Donna's POV

Word count: 6,497

Summary:  I needed it, (Y/N), I needed to love your body...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! This is a second part of this one, but you can read it by itself!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

I couldn't explain in words how I have felt these last few months. After my clumsiness was about to push you away from me, I achieved the opposite.

“Let's try to love each other,” you said that afternoon when your patience was overwhelmed by my clumsy desire to have you next to me, to be close to you.

I said yes, you kissed me, I kissed you.

Thus began a time in my life that I could describe. Your kisses, your words, your smiles... Everything overwhelmed me. I felt like I was dreaming in some way, that you couldn't feel that way, that I would lose my mind seeing myself incapable of having you. But no dream could compare to the reality of your body close to mine, the warmth of your hugs, your eternal patience.

I know that to deal with me was not easy, that your attempt to love me would be like a test, an exercise in blind trust in which I was your goal, in which you were my goal.

I tried to control myself, to have the voices in my head tell me that everything was fine, that you were sincere when you smiled at me, when you kissed me. I almost had no doubts anymore. The darkness of my thoughts and my wounded conscience disappeared with your light, with your presence. You were my protector, my friend, my lover. And you were mine.

With you, a dull task like cleaning or cooking became the only moments in which I could truly smile, in a different kind of time, slower, more intense. Waking up next to you, with you hugging my waist, was the only thing I was looking for when I slept. I no longer had to flee from my torments, because you were by my side to fight against them, to tell me that everything was fine, that you were with me.

Neither your kisses, nor your smile, nor your hugs were comparable to the feeling of having you close, to the feeling of having a protective angel just for me. Not even Mother Miranda caused those sensations in me.

You were the shield that protected me from myself.

Although love was always unnecessary for me, recognizing that there was no more pleasant, happier feeling cost me many sleepless nights. Nights that, when I felt your warm body next to mine, when I saw you defenseless next to me, became the best of my life.

My trust wasn't free. I couldn't trust you even if you begged me to. Maybe you were tricking me. Maybe I had fallen into your trap and couldn't get out. I didn't care, (Y/N), you could have defeated me, made me disappear. I wasn't going to stop you, I couldn't stop you. Being in your spider web was much better than being alone, even if at some point I got careless and you were going to devour me. Devour me and I will have died happy.

“Oh, how romantic...” You sighed, blinking quickly and holding a book to your chest.

I wish I could have been honest and told you that I never read when I was next to you, I just looked at you, I just enjoyed the calm that your expression conveyed to me, I just enjoyed watching you breathe, knowing that you were really by my side, that you trusted me, that my darkness would not make you think that you were also my prey, that one day I was going to devour you.

You closed your eyes and smiled, leaving the book on the table and lying down next to me on the couch. The smile was already inevitable for me. Every time you showed yourself tangible, that you affirmed that you were not just a dream, my heart beat strongly.

“Have you finished?” I asked, letting my hand travel to your head as you leaned back even more, leaning on my lap and looking at me from there, with a smile. You nodded, taking my hand and kissing it elegantly.

“Yes,” you said amused, settling on top of me causing strange nerves to begin to cloud my mind.

“Are you sleepy?” I asked, moving my thoughts away from strange ideas that had appeared to torment me for some time.

It seemed that even in the safety of your arms my mind could not calm down. Having you so close, kissing you, caressing you... All those sensations were increasingly unbearable for my fragile conscience. Something told me that it was no longer enough, that I wanted your kisses, your hugs, to last a little longer, just a little longer.

“Well, maybe a bit,” you said, yawning, without taking your eyes off mine, oblivious to the strange feelings that your head on my lap caused.

I smiled again, caressing your cheek and leaning down to kiss you. In my head I always counted the time that passed until your kisses became necessary for me. It was less and less time, my addiction to you only got worse, but I didn't stop it. I wanted to not be able to go a single minute without feeling your lips on mine.

“Then we should go to sleep...” I sighed, amused, with my caresses loving your skin.

“Yes, good idea,” you said, standing up and stretching your arms in a comical way. I wish I could also make you that same smile.

I walked with you into the eternal darkness of the bedroom. There was something, something different between you and me. I couldn't say what it was exactly, but it was making me nervous. Closing my eye tightly, and letting myself be guided by your protective hand, I dispelled the imminent outbreak of my madness. I never needed a reason to lose my temper, but on this occasion, something inside me told me to do it.

“Donna, are you okay?” You asked, opening the bedroom door and cupping my face in your hands, studying me cautiously. I nodded after fighting my demons, drowning them in the depth of your tender look, that look that said you weren't lying, that you loved me.

“Yes,” I said dryly, as if waking up from a dream, or a nightmare. I was nervous, very nervous, and I didn't know why.

“You know if something happens to you, I will always take care of you, right?” You said, not trusting my word. I didn't blame you for it. I can't blame you for it. I will never be able to change the things that embarrassed me, my problems. I could only think that one day they would be bearable for me, but also for you.

“I know,” I repeated again, looking away just as your lips kissed my corner. Those kisses that were so different, those kisses far from romance, linked with affection that told me that everything was fine... Those kisses were my favorites.

You nodded with a distrustful glint in your eyes. Again, I didn't blame you, you had to be suspicious, you had to sense that something wasn't right with me, and not even I knew what it was.

“Okay...” You whispered, that time kissing me on the lips, slowly, letting me get lost in the sensation. You were a true sorceress. You were able to calm me down only with your kisses. But with that night, not that night. “I'm going to change my clothes.”

You turned away from me, giving me one last look in case I was lying to you. You knew I was lying to you, right? You always knew everything.

You sat at the small dresser, freeing your silky hair from the ponytail you always tied it up in. That hairstyle sent contradictory sensations to my chest. You were still my maid, even though you barely looked like it, so that's why you tied your hair up? Or did you just like to wear it that way?

I suddenly realized that there were hundreds of things I still didn't know about you. I wanted to know them all.

As I became lost in thought, I became less and less aware of what was in front of me. When I blinked, your dress was gone, lost in the dust of the wood.

I swallowed involuntarily, my feet digging into the floor. The beauty of your body made me tremble. It made me stay still looking at you, observing the details of your exposed skin, wondering what was behind those two clothes that you still had on.

My breathing became noisy and my gaze was lost in your body, in your legs, in that spot you had under your collarbone. I couldn't stop looking at you. I didn't want to stop looking at you.

“Ugh, what a day,” you sighed, combing your hair, increasing my breathing with each of your movements. “First, the herbs from the garden��”

Your words entered my ears, but I couldn't process them. I was embarrassingly absorbed in your body.

I was only able to nod. Maybe it would have been better to look away, like I always did.

“Then, that damn pile of books in the office. Seriously, Donna, that office is a disaster. We should sort it out together, if we don't die buried by the huge amounts of dust, of course,” you whispered, amused. A pity that I still didn't listen to you.

“Uh-huh,” I said automatically, pretending that I heard your voice, that my mind couldn't imagine your body without a piece of clothing.

You were quiet for a moment, looking at me through the mirror. Your look was strange. Maybe you had realized it, or maybe you hadn't.

“And then I fought a basilisk. That damn snake... Surely if I didn't find the sword it would have devoured me before the phoenix was able to heal me,” you commented, to which I nodded again.

“Oh, sure, sure,” I said, blinking quickly.

“Donna!” You shouted, calling my attention, waking me up from that wonderful dream in which only your body existed, not your words, not the room, only you.

“What?” I asked shaking my head, noticing the heat of the blush on my cheeks.

“You weren't listening to me, were you?” You asked amused, making my embarrassment even greater.

“Of course I was listening to you,” I lied, hardening my gaze, repressing my feelings with the fabric of my dress.

“Were you? Let's see, let's see... What was the last thing I said?” You asked again, standing up, making my eye travel through the unknown corners of your body again.

“Yes... The phoenix ate the grass in the garden and the basilisk put the books in order,” I stammered, regretting it instantly, especially when I saw your arched eyebrow and your crossed arms, further framing the vision I had of your... Of your breasts.

“You were close,” you said with a funny face, approaching me. I had to make an effort not to back away.

You must have seen something in my eye, something that made your smile widen and change into one... A different one.

“Donna, Donna, Donna...” You sighed, hanging from my neck, making even more difficult for me to breathe. “Were you looking at me?”

“No, yes... I mean, was I looking at you?” I said nervously. Having you so close to me made me stupid.

“Come on, it's okay, do you like my body?” You asked in my ear, making me feel a chill, increasing the heat in my cheeks.

I couldn't lie to you. I nodded slowly, wishing at the same time that you would let me go and that you would never do it, ever.

“Mm, interesting,” you purred, rocking with you, with that strange gleam in your eyes. “Tell me something, how long have we been together?” You asked, lowering your hands to my waist, keeping me very close to you.

“Six...” I responded with a low, trembling voice, just like my body. “Six months and three days”

“Wow, you do have a memory,” you joked, amused by my response, but not giving me a break, kissing me slowly on the lips, increasing the heat that my body was beginning to feel.

“Just, just for the things that are important to me,” I said, wanting to reaffirm how indispensable you were to me. It wasn't romance, it was security, (Y/N), I was still afraid of losing you.

“Mm,” you murmured, nodding, raising your hands to my chest. “Would you like me to take off my clothes and...? I don't know, lie in bed?” You asked with a whisper, one that set off all my alarms.

“Oh, I... It's, wait...” I said pulling away, letting my hands hang in yours under your amused gaze. It wasn't anything to laugh at, (Y/N). Don't laugh at me or I won't be able to control myself. “That, that sounds good but... I just remembered that I have the fire in the tea, I mean, the tea in the kitchen, the kitchen burning and... I have, I have to...” I stammered pathetically, separating myself from you and running away from you.

I understood, (Y/N), I understood what you wanted to tell me, what you wanted to ask of me.

All these years of solitude did not keep me alien to the pleasures of the flesh. I knew they existed. Before having you close, I imagined that you were there, with me, hugging me, kissing me under the sheets. I'm still ashamed of having let my body speak for itself, that my hands caressed me to imitate, that I lost track of space and time while I touched myself, imagining that it was you.

Lust, desire, love... No matter what I called it, how I hid it when I moaned your name in absolute loneliness, when my body writhed with pleasure at its own touch, just imagining that it was you.

That was a thing of the past, my need to feel loved, desired, was camouflaged among the barrage of kisses and nervousness that I suffered when I had you so close. I had almost forgotten. I had forgotten what I imagined how it would be like to feel you... Inside of me.

“Cazzo!” I cursed, hitting a wall with my fist and sliding until I sat on the floor, embarrassed by my pathetic escape and by the desire to undress you, to make my fantasies come true.

A few wooden steps made things worse.

“Someone called me...” Angie's singing voice brought me out of my regrets.

“I haven't called you, Angie. Go away,” I protested, pushing the devilish puppet away.

I forgot that she was part of my conscience. I always forgot about it.

“Problems?” She asked, sitting next to me. I shook my head, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Don't answer, I know.”

I sighed and ran my hand over my sweaty forehead. Angie already knew it.

“What's wrong, my Donna?” She asked again, with that irritating tone, with the tone of my confused conscience. “Wouldn't you like to see (Y/N) naked?”

“Stai zitto,” I protested. “If you know, why do you ask?”

Angie laughed, walking over to my knees and leaning on them.

“Angie, I... I don't know if I can do it,” I confessed, relaxing a bit, wishing that part of my mind was more understanding and less psychotic.

“Why not? You want it and she wants it,” she said, with a tone softer than usual.

“Because I... I have never...” I stammered embarrassed by my ignorance, by the years of loneliness that made me seem completely naive. “I have never made love to anyone. It would only, only disappoint her.”

“Bullshit,” the doll said, giving me a nasty slap on the leg. “You want it, and you know it. You don't have to be ashamed.”

“What if I…?” I asked, being interrupted by wooden hands on my mouth. Angie, for the last time, don't do that.

“Oh, shut up now and stop complaining,” she said abruptly, pulling me up from the floor. I, reluctantly, obeyed. “Go in there and do your job properly. If you don't you will really disappoint her.”

“Disappoint her?” I asked shaking off the dust that stained my black dress. “How could I do it if I don't do anything?”

“Precisely doing nothing, silly Donna. Your gentlemanly and diabetic attitude is fine for a while, but someone like (Y/N) needs something else, and you should give it to her,” my own conscience scolded me.

I tried to find an argument against those words, but I couldn't.

“But, but, what do I do?” I asked, watching how the doll walked away from her, getting lost in the darkness. Angie shrugged, but she didn't turn to look at me.

“I don’t know. I've told you a thousand times that I'm just a doll,” she murmured, with a cocky step, leaving me alone again.

Angie was right, I had to do it, I wanted to do it, I wanted it.

I slowly walked back into the room, slowly opening the door, looking at the floor.

“Did you manage to put out the fire?” You asked amused, getting into bed. Your bare shoulders gave away that you had not dressed. The heat became unbearable again.

“Yes, no, I...” I stammered embarrassed. You laughed and patted the mattress while biting your lip.

“Come here, darling,” you whispered.

I nodded, not sure, but determined not to disappoint you. I didn't want you to think I was stupid, although you probably already did.

“Donna,” you said when I joined you under the covers. I looked at you confused and you simply nodded at the dress. “Won't you take it off?”

“Oh, I...” I said hurriedly, starting to undo the buttons, which I found terribly difficult since my hands didn't want to stop shaking.

“Hey...” You whispered, placing a hand on my wrist and running your thumb over my skin. “Relax, I'm not trying to pressure you, or make you do something you don't want to.”

Your words entered my ears fully, making my shoulders drop, letting out all my worries.

“I want to, (Y/N), but... But I don't know what... I can't,” I said trembling, feeling the heat of your skin in my hand, feeling the heat that radiated from your body.

“Hey, come on, everything's fine. Take off your dress and lie down with me,” you proposed, to which I, nodding and suppressing my desire to run away again, got out of bed and obeyed. “Don't worry, if you want I won't look at you.”

“No, I... No, it doesn't matter,” I said, taking out both sleeves, feeling the cold of the room in contrast to my hot skin.

I stayed like you, only with my underwear, with your gaze traveling over my body, my pale skin and the corners that until then were unknown to you.

“Come, my love,” You whispered again, while I, clumsy and trembling, crawled under the sheets, next to you. “I propose something to you, Donna,” you said with a more serious tone, cradling me in your arms. You knew how nervous I was, you always knew it. You always calmed me down.

I nodded, burying my head in your half-naked chest, feeling like I didn't want to separate, that I wanted to stay like this forever.

“Now we are going to... Spend some time together, okay? We're both here, in bed, we can kiss if you want...” You said, raising my chin so that I could look at you. Your eyes were always my downfall. “… And if you see that you like it and want to continue, well, I will be happy to do it. Is that okay with you, my love?”

I nodded again, pondering your proposal. You didn't want to put pressure on me, I know, but I couldn't help but feel that pressure, feel your rapid breathing.

“Well, then come here, lie down with me,” you said softly, moving away to stand next to me, holding my hand, playing with my fingers. I looked at you for a moment, before your body was even closer to mine, before your bare legs caught mine. A trap, you were going to devour me and I... I wanted you to do it.

Silent, subtle, skillful like a feline stalking its prey, you approached me, placing your lips on my cheek, leaving them there for a moment, calming the trembling of my body. The cold was no longer a problem, I was with you, your body protected me. Your kisses calmed me.

Your mouth traveled slowly across my face, until it met my lips, kissing me slowly, but with a different attitude. It wasn't a short kiss, one you gave me to show your love, no. Your tongue peeked out after a moment of peace, of tranquility, searching for mine. A wet and different kiss, a different longing, without the innocent promise that you will always stay with me. No, your intention was anything but innocent.

I responded, letting myself be carried away by the humidity of your lips, by the way you kissed my mouth lovingly, without wanting to leave it. My hands abandoned her stoicism, traveling slowly to your waist, pulling on it as I focused on your kisses. You smiled against my lips and I smiled back, catching them again, not wanting to let them go.

My breathing became unstable again and my hands reached your hair, caressing its softness as the humidity of our kisses increased more and more. I always said that our first kiss was the best of all, but those... Those movements of your lips on mine, the way your tongue caressed mine while your body moved to emphasize the desires of your lips, becoming a hot dance, one that clouded my conscience, one that made me stop and look into your eyes, searching in them for the answer that I was not able to verbalize.

“(Y/N)...” I whispered, seeing you climb on top of me, feeling your legs on both sides of your hips. You didn't let me speak. Your wet and warm kisses silenced my words. My hands hugged your back, pulling it towards me, wanting to have you on top of my body, with your heat calming the cold of my skin, just as your kisses calmed the emptiness of my heart.

I could feel your smile spreading across my mouth before your lips changed target, moving down my neck, making me gasp involuntarily. Like cruel torture, the tickling you did to me made me tremble, made me close my eye tightly, lose the cold, gain heat, much more heat.

“Are you comfortable, Donna?” You asked, separating yourself, brushing my hair out of my face so you could study my expression. I couldn't do anything else, I just shook my head.

“No, I...” I said, making you sit up, making the vision I had in front of me even worse. Your body on top of mine, your hips with mine. It was unbearable.

“Okay, honey, we can stop and...” You said softly, trying to abandon me. I didn't allow it. Don't you dare to abandon me, (Y/N)

“Wait, no, I didn't mean that,” I said, with a look of terror, with the horrible feeling of losing you closer than ever. “I want you to continue but…”

You nodded understandingly, taking my hand and squeezing it to give me strength, to try to get my feelings, my worries out.

“It's, it's my first time and... I'm a bit...” I confessed, avoiding your gaze, preventing you from judging me for being so stupid, for having declined a thousand times Alcina's offer to have a fun time with one of the maids.

 Maybe if I had done it, I wouldn't be so nervous at that moment, but I feel like also, I wouldn't be able to look at your face. I know you knew about my darkness, I know you feared me, but I also know that you don't think I'm like the rest of my siblings, and that may be one of the reasons for you to love me.

“Nervous, I understand, it's normal,” you said smiling, going down again to give me a quick kiss. “Relax, okay? I promise you that I will make you enjoy it.”

I nodded, kissing you again, wanting to feel that lascivious moisture on my lips. At least kissing you, I was incapable of feeling uncomfortable, of thinking about everything that was coming, about everything we would do.

“If you feel uncomfortable, I'll stop...” You whispered in my ear. I shook my head, not knowing if I was nodding or denying. I was confused, upset by my feelings, but I was clear about one thing. I wanted more of your kisses, more of your body.

The hugs joined the humidity of your kisses. My hands enjoyed the contact with your bare skin and protested when they found the fabric of your bra. You were always so observant... Laughing, you put your hand to the closure, freeing yourself from the garment, making my heart stop as I admired your bare chest.

“You are so beautiful,” I said, dazzled by the perfection of your body, feeling ashamed for wanting to caress you, for wanting that part of your body in my hands, in my mouth...

“You’re flattering me,” you whispered, throwing the bra far away from us, where it belonged.

Your body lowered again, your kisses returned to my lips. My already burning skin burned with your chest on mine. I wanted to feel you more. I needed to feel you more.

Again, as if you were a witch capable of reading my mind, your hands slipped to the closure of my own bra. You will never be able to have the same feeling as I do when looking at you. My body cannot compare to yours.

Without saying anything, just looking at me curiously, you bit your lip, running your hands along the sides of my torso, across my chest, without touching me in those places, respecting me in a way that I found unpleasant. I wanted your hands on me, I wanted you to hold me, to squeeze my breasts, to bring yours closer, I wanted to feel the heat of your naked body on mine. I needed it.

“My beautiful Donna...” You whispered, kissing my cheek, taking my hand to the place where shame prevented it from being, to one of your perfect breasts, cupping it with your help, making my body tremble again. “Touch me without fear…”

I obeyed, nodding, gasping at the heat that began to travel through my legs until it settled between them, a feeling that I knew, but that I didn't expect to feel with a person, with you.

The kisses became messy. My hands lost their shyness, passing over your breasts, wanting to memorize the feel of your skin, that skin that was always hidden from my gaze. You were so soft, so perfect...

You did the same, running your hands over my chest as your mouth trailed down to my collarbone, to my shoulders. As if you were oblivious to what I was experiencing with your body, you acted of your own free will, kissing one of my nipples, sucking it delicately, making the need to moan at the sensation too strong to contain.

The sound that came out of my mouth made you smile, continuing with your caresses becoming less and less shy, with your body beginning to move slowly against mine, with your hips causing the friction to send a terribly pleasurable sensation to my body.

I pulled your head so you returned to my mouth and you obeyed, kissing me in a much more intense way, moving your body, placing your leg between mine, making contact with my intimate area, causing me to moan, more sweat in my hands, more need for you.

“Do you like that, my love?” You asked, pressing more on your leg, knowing that I was going to nod in a messy way, wrapping my arms around you, scratching your back, causing a lustful gasp to come out of your mouth.

“Kiss me, please,” I asked you, moving my hips so that sensation was more intense. I had gotten carried away by lust and I didn't want to stop, I didn't want you to stop. Your kisses only served to hide the shameful pleasure that your leg were giving to my body.

You heard my prayers, moving your perfect leg aside, deepening my kisses, letting me deepen them as I cupped your face with my hands. Your neck was tempting to my lips, which soon gave in and succumbed to the need to taste your skin. You closed your eyes, enjoying my unusual lack of shyness as I showered you with my kisses along your neck, your collarbone, your chest.

With a push, followed by a gasp and a wicked smile, you pushed me against the mattress, stopping the path my lips took over your skin.

I looked at you curiously, but I didn't find anything that told me I had done something wrong, quite the opposite. You looked at my body, up and down, thinking what to do, what kind of wonder you would do next.

“Relax, Donna,” you asked me while you placed your lips on my neck again, while your hands went down to my legs, going up again, passing through every possible corner of my body.

I didn't respond, just gasped again when your kisses returned to my bare chest. They weren't going to stop there, not this time. Little by little, making sure that there was not a piece of skin left to worship, you continued lowering, circling my navel while your hands circled around my waist, hoping to meet your mouth, which was positioned dangerously close to the hem of my underwear.

“Donna,” you said, making me open my eye and have to look at you. I couldn't do it, (Y/N), seeing you kneeling like that made me nervous and... And anxious. “I want to make you feel good, do you agree?”

“What will you do me?” I asked worried when I felt the tips of your fingers inside the garment that separated me from nudity. I didn't want to sound worried or nervous, but I couldn't help it. The heat between my legs screamed to be relieved.

You smiled tenderly.

“Do you trust me?” You asked, rubbing my legs slowly, searching for the answer in my confused look.

“I trust you,” I said, nodding, noticing how my underwear masterfully yielded to your lustful hand, to your burning touch.

“Relax, you're shaking...” You said amused, rubbing my leg again while you got rid of that piece of clothing that seemed to bother you so much. Being naked, defenseless in front of you was a feeling that I didn't think was so good.

I felt free. I felt that I no longer had anything to hide, that there were no secrets for you. I was yours, you were mine. My whole body, my feelings, my craziness, my nightmares, my light and my darkness... Everything belonged to you, (Y/N).

I grabbed your hand involuntarily, relaxing my fearful instinct of failing, of doing something wrong. I just had to relax, that was the only thing you asked of me before your lips rested on my skin again, going down my belly more and more down.

When I felt you so close, my mouth begged for me to moan. Your lips went further, teasing my inner thigh, giving it small kisses while your hand moved up my leg, before sinking into me, kissing me where no one had ever kissed me, not even you.

I sighed to silence the flood of emotions I was feeling. You kissed me with affection, you adored that intimate part of my body. You did it without fear, wanting to love me, to show me your love with some precise caresses of your tongue.

I squeezed your hand tightly between the overwhelming sensation of your mouth on my wet folds, before the mastery of your kisses, knowing where to kiss me, imagining, exploring which of your actions was the one that made me moan the loudest.

My humidity embarrassed me, made me feel weak, desperate. You didn't seem to care how much I craved your body, how much my body begged for yours. You seemed to enjoy it, almost as much as I did.

With your hot tongue you surrounded my clit, that very sensitive part of my body. You knew how to take care of me, you knew how to be patient, enjoy my hot body, you knew when to suck, when to lick, when to kiss.

But there was nothing compared to your moans reverberating on my wet skin, to your eyes looking at me from a distance, studying my moans, the gestures that my body made, bending over with pleasure, wanting your face not to be separated from it.

At that moment I could no longer feel my shame, only your kisses, only your wet tongue mixing with my arousal, surrounding my entrance before withdrawing, making my hips protest with erratic movements.

“Shhh, calm down,” you said whispering, climbing up my body, caressing my cheek before sinking into my lips. “I'm not going to abandon you.”

Feeling my own taste in your mouth, my arousal running through your lips as it mixed with my saliva, was so overwhelming that I felt like my walls were contracting, like my body was desperately demanding yours.

“Can I touch you?” You asked delicately, lowering your hand down my belly, caressing the wet part that your mouth had left.

“Please,” I said with my eye closed, with the image I had seen just a few moments ago: your head between my legs, worshiping my body, showing me your love.

You nodded, kissing me again, your hand exploring my wetness, playing, pressing lightly on my most sensitive part, making moaning no longer a problem for me.

My neck, my chest, everything was covered with your kisses while your hand concentrated on sending electrical currents to my nervous system, playing at my entrance, cupping my sex with the palm of your hand and rubbing it carefully before bringing a finger towards there, before gently introducing it inside of me.

“I'm not hurting you, right?” You asked affectionately, studying my gestures when your finger was completely inside of me, caressing my walls, feeling how my body hugged it desperately.

“No, no... More, I want more, please,” I said embarrassed, looking away and looking for her hand to squeeze it again. I needed more, (Y/N). I was desperate for your touch.

Obeying my wet and confusing wishes, you inserted another finger, causing my back to curve, giving my inexperienced body time to adjust to your movements. I didn’t even notice that pain that everyone talked about in the books. No, I had sinned before, with myself.

You smiled as you watched my reaction, as you heard my moans when your hand moved masterfully on my body. You seasoned it with kisses, with moans for feeling so eager, so wet, so hungry for pleasure.

My hips kept the rhythm. You understood how I wanted it, how I needed it at every moment. The obscene sound of humidity, of your fingers moving inside of me was only interrupted by the collision of our lips, by the intense moans coming out of our mouths.

The pleasure became unbearable for me. My hips couldn't move any faster, your fingers couldn't feel better. I felt like I was going to explode, that I would burst out with a desperate scream.

That same thing soon happened, causing my back to hunch and my walls to shrink to keep you in the place they needed. Emotion took control of my actions, grabbing your face and kissing you fiercely, demonstrating without words how good you had made me feel.

You didn't say anything, you just smiled satisfied. But no, I couldn't let that end.

“I want to touch you, (Y/N). I want to make you feel the same way.”

You nodded, taking my place on the bed.

I couldn't say how much time passed, how much time I was exploring you, letting myself be guided by your hand in the most mysterious places of your body. With your help, I managed to repeat your actions, probably in an embarrassingly clumsy manner.

None of that mattered to you, not even after your own release, after which you joined your moisture with mine, making me feel more pleasure, making me notice your body so close to mine that I thought it would merge with it.

I fell into bed, exhausted, naked next to you, letting your arms provide me with the comfort I needed. I couldn't open my eye, I didn't want to. Sleep and fatigue, along with the shame of having lost my innocence, made me fall asleep too quickly, embarrassingly quickly.

“Donna, it's daytime...” Your voice woke me up from a non-existent dream, one that I couldn't remember. The sensations you made me experience overshadowed even my most terrible nightmares. I grunted, opening my eye slowly.

When I tried to move my body emitted a mild pain to my joints. It had been an incredible night, but my entire body was sore. You must have seen my wince of pain and you sat on the bed, confused, caressing my cheek.

“My love, are you okay?” you asked. I nodded, making an effort to sit up. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I said abruptly, deflecting any shadow of your suspicion. You backed away, blinking rapidly.

“Okay...” You said amused, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. “Cover yourself up, Donna. You're going to get cold.”

With a gentle movement, you covered my naked body with the sheets, accommodating yours against it and holding my hand, looking at me with admiration, with love, with true love.

“(Y/N)” I said, looking at your hand in mine, our fingers intertwined. You nodded with a smile, not wanting to interrupt what you knew was something important. "What we did last night... I... I want, I want to tell you that...” I stammered, searching for the words in my mind. “…I want to tell you that I enjoyed every second of it.”

“Did you?” You asked curiously, widening your smile.

“Yes, I...” I said blushing unable to tell you how good it felt to make love for the first time, to do it with you, with the woman of my life.

“Donna, listen to me,” you said, interrupting my ramblings. “I want you to know something”

I looked at you expectantly.

“I love you, Donna, I love you with all my soul, I love you from the depths of my heart,” you whispered before kissing me again. I couldn't help but blush, I couldn't help it.

“I love you, (Y/N)... I will always love you…”

[makemeimmortalwithahug]

I can't stop thinking about dead boy detectives and Emily Dickinson ever since I saw Edwin and Charles' relationship unfold, these two boys whose deaths were covered up and "did not matter," as Edwin put it, and who have kept running from Death together for thirty years and counting; these two boys who would do anything to stay together. And I can't get

"I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too? Then there's a pair of us! Don't tell! They'd advertise - you know!"

out of my mind. Edwin and Charles as EdwinandCharles, together against everything that might separate them, looking into the world of the living from the outside but glad to do it together. They keep to themselves because, as long as they have each other's backs, it's always going to turn out at least okay.

Edwin and Charles cannot picture a world - an afterlife - in which they might lose each other, this bond they share of trust, harmony and loyalty. Emily herself wrote to her love Susan that she (I'm paraphrasing) that she might as well lose any other world, but she wants to continue living in the one in which she's together with her love. It's this utter devotion that we see in Edwin and Charles.

But also imagine Edwin reading Emily Dickinson's poems. I am not entirely sure when her poems might have been available in England, but I know that "I measure every Grief I meet" was first published in 1896.

I imagine him reading this poem during his time in school. He read it only once because this is the most he could bear, too real for him back then. He had suffered even before he went to Hell. He was bullied. His classmates would isolate him and cause him pain - they were the reason he eventually died, after all -, installed fear in him. The environment of the boarding school didn't give him any opportunity of respite, he couldn't get away and I doubt his parents would've been much of a help, if they had cared at all.

So, I imagine him quietly suffering, closing himself off because no-one seemingly cared enough to get to know him. Him barely talking, rather listening and watching what is going on around him, questioning whether everyone felt that way, so hollow and invisible at the same time, as if one wrong look would either go right through him or break him.

I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if It weighs like Mine - Or has an Easier size. I wonder if They bore it long - Or did it just begin - I could not tell the Date of Mine - It feels so old a pain -

He has always felt this way, an ache he would tell himself he could barely feel anymore. Maybe he wondered as well how other people do it, living with a weight that drags you down and keeps you down, this dry sorrow that no tears flow anymore.

I wonder if it hurts to live - And if They have to try - And whether - could They choose between - It would not be - to die -

The encounter between Despair and Edwin is the reason why I thought of this poem in the first place. There are different kinds of grief, and despair is one of them, maybe that's why she might call upon Edwin someday.

There's Grief of Want - and Grief of Cold - A sort they call "Despair" -

Mostly I wonder what he would've thought, reading the last two lines:

Still fascinated to presume That Some - are like My Own -

Would he have been fascinated or would he have thought how unbelievably tragic this was? What would he think reading this after he met Charles? After he saw Simon again in Hell? Would it make him feel calm to see this written or sad?

No matter what it would be, I think him finding his way out of Hell (twice!) and Charles by his side have shown him that this pain does not define him, that there is always hope. And

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

after all.

quoted:

"I'm Nobody! Who are you?" by Emily Dickinson

"I measure every Grief I meet" by Emily Dickinson

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson

[ewingstan]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9-11 for whatever Worm characters come to mind! (Or Sophia/Calvert/Taylor/Krouse if you have any thoughts!)

Fuck it. All of em for all of em.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Sophia: I'll be real I don't feel super strongly about her. She's written to be hateable in an effective way, but she's less of a full character than Emma despite being in much more of the story. And her shit kinda gets bogged down by racist writing (a lot of the worst of it happening right before Aisha's introduction, which is also pretty racist). She's involved in a lot of cool and interesting moments but they're rarely interesting because of her.

Coil: Works really well as the first overarching villain in Taylor's story. He's able to sell the "I'm a bad guy but in an excusable way that's not really too bad" well enough, but also has a lot of obvious red flags even before the Dinah reveal. So you can understand perfectly well why Taylor, a kid who really wanted to continue hanging out with the undersiders and do things that made her feel like she had any control, would go along with him. But you can also take a step back and say Jesus, only a kid who really wanted to continue hanging out with the undersiders and do things that made her feel like she had any control would go along with him.

Taylor: Wildbow has a reoccurring tendency to focus on characters who are both incredibly smart and can get an incredible amount of info quickly, but only in specific limited ways. Its true of Taylor, Lisa, Sylvester, Kenzie, Mia—a lot of my favorites. But the interesting thing is that they're never smart in the same ways, never collect the same sort of info. Lisa has general super-induction but no great skill at making plans. Sylvester can read and manipulate people to a superhuman level but is constantly getting blinded by his own resentments and desires. Taylor's hyper-vigilance gave her the ability to see and react to everything external around her, but no means or real incentive to know whats going on internally with people around her. And it makes sense! She's incredibly afraid of letting people in who'll end up hurting her; people who've genuinely been kind to her in the past have used their previous closeness to hurt her later! Knowing that someone doesn't mean her harm now isn't gonna reassure her, so its safer to assume everyone's a threat and not worry too much about what they're actually thinking.

And then there's Rachel, who she not only connects with emotionally, but is the only person who's able to make an emotional connection with her! And since you understand why its not the norm, its all the more incredible to see!

Krouse: oh I'm glad you asked

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Sophia: I like that she and Lung both get wrapped back up in the end for Skitter's Gold Morning missions. I wish she got to do more in those, but I do like it as a story beat.

Coil: How high he got and how far he fell.

Taylor: Man the escape from Coil's trap is a fucking great chapter. She's a one-woman horror movie. Single-handedly sells her as a villain who'd get national attention, and its not even a moment the public knows about. And its in such a great place in the story too, where all the tricks she's using have been established so its not feeling like a weird escalation in her abilities, but she hasn't all employed them at once or to such incredible effect yet. It’s the real culmination of her taking “lessons” from Bakuda about being scary.

Krouse: One of the moments that really sold me on him was when he was getting attacked by Case 53s, and immediately started thinking about how he could take them down, before he interrupts his own thoughts to go "wait, what am I doing, I should just run away." It just sells so much of his whole deal. He's a great on-his-feat thinker, he can be an incredible strategist when he's on his own, but he also doesn't share Taylor's suicidal urge to face any problem head-on. Its kind of the inverse of one of Taylor's early establishing moments: after getting attacked by Rachel, she reaches for a reason to calm down, realizes she doesn't have one, and immediately retaliates hard enough to get blood on her boots. God they're such good foils, its weird that the extent of their relationship is mutually disliking each other. Not even intense dislike in either case.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Sophia: That the black member of the trio is the one that consistently gets physically violent, is characterized as the athletic one compared to the others in general (instead of "the cute one" or "the prep" she's "the track star"), gets described as being savage multiple times, doesn't have much of a character outside of sucking despite being in a work that's otherwise really good at giving internality to people who act shitty, all that jazz.

Coil: How little sense we got of what Calvert's dominion would really look like. That we didn't get much of his takeover without other disasters interfering actually works—it fits the themes of constant conflict interfering with stability and safety. But I still want more of a sense of what Calvert wanted.

Taylor: I didn't care about her reunification with her mom. I say a lot that the ending of Worm is one of the best endings of any story I've read, and that's true of Gold Morning as a whole, but I don't actually care much about the last epilogue. The Brian reveal certainly doesn't help there.

Krouse: Do you know how much it sucks that when people ask me who my favorite worm character is, the tumblr sexyman is in contention?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Sophia: any story that takes her basic parts, gets rid of the obviously shitty stuff, and develops her into a real character.

Coil: Disney Channel sitcom

Taylor: Well I already tried expy-ing Khepri into my tabletop campaign, and that got mixed results, so I'll take TTRPGs off the list. I'd be interested in her getting put in a medium where you'd have to be creative with how to represent the bug cloud, like live theater.

Krouse: I was gonna say Mob Psycho but then I remembered that they already had a guy who teleported around being a jackass. But I would like too see a well-animated version of his fighting style.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Sophia: I'll Make You Sorry by Screaming Females

Coil: For some reason I get an Everything Everything vibe from him? Maybe Photoshop Handsome or Breadwinner.

Taylor: I don't actually read her as trans but Dysphoria Hoodie is what immediately came to mind. I'm at least theoretically still making a Cicada Days animatic about her. I think portions of BCNR's Sunglasses fits with whats going on internally with her in the Mannequin fight

Krouse: Want to make a Prowl Great Cain AMV for him one day. Lyrics fit perfectly, and the way its sung gets the same otherwise inexpressable intensity of how I feel about him. Darnielle said “This is a song about betrayal. A lot of songs about betrayal are about betrayal and redemption. Not this one.” And yeah, that's Krouse!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Sophia: Oh, no

Coil: It would prolly be fine except for how he'd torture a branch of my psychological continuity and then effectively kill it by destroying that reality whenever I leave the dishes out too long. Don't correct me on how his powers work

Taylor: Uhhh probably not. Even if I wasn't much older, I don't really talk to my roommates unless they're the talkative sort. She's been stuck living with clamshells before, it wasn't good for her.

Krouse: I'd have to kill him

10 and 11: alright these are "could you be best friends with" and "would you date" and in both cases the fact that I'm 23 means no. I don't have Blake's ability to form rich friendships with people much younger than me. And I'm not interested in Calvert as a friend or a lover.

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

For new users:

You are in the Ball Pit. You always begin in the Ball Pit. Everything has begun in the Ball Pit, and some say that is where everything shall end. The Ball Pit is not bottomless, although it has no end - the Ball Pit simply is. Everywhere. Always. 

You try to find your way out of the ball pit - you swim, but the slippery plastic spheres do not let you make much progress. You try to walk, but the hard surface of the balls bruises your arms, hands, face. In the end, you waddle on all fours, gripping to the bottom of the pit with each step. You feel silly, at first, but the thought quickly leaves you. You are as happy as a child, a small creature making its way through the underbrush. You do not carry the burden of pride. 

You wander until you hear  rustling. You stop and listen and look, and a person passes by you, dressed in a large hoodie, their hair dyed blue. They're going on all fours, like you, but, unlike you, they seem confident in their movements. Another person is moving in their direction - you can see their silhouette through gaps between the balls and the light that passes through the plastic. The two stop, look at each other. 

"I like your shoelaces," says the one you cannot see.

"Thanks, I stole them from the president," answers the blue-haired one. 

The two giggle, stand up and hug, and you want to warn them about the bruises, but they seem not to notice. 

They walk away, their steps light, hands wrapped around each other's shoulders. Their conversation gets muffled in the Pit. 

'I wish I could do that', you think, and then you think: 'I'm glad they're having a fun time'. Something unfurls in your chest. The balls around you do not feel as heavy on your back. You continue on your way. 

Smoke passes through the Pit, a sweet smell of something that isn't a fire or cigarettes. You hear laughter and bits of a conversation. You follow the sound and the smoke and soon you see three women are talking and laughing and passing around a joint. The smoke is so dense it pushes away the balls, creating a sphere of open space around them. 

"Hello!," you say, "I'm terribly sorry, but do you know how to leave the Pit?" 

They all look at you. They look at each other. They laugh. 

"There is no leaving the Pit, silly," says the one to the left. 

"You take the Pit with you wherever you go," adds the one on the right. 

"So make yourself at home, honey." smiles the one in the middle. 

You nod and stutter and shuffle away. 'What strange women,' you think, the idea of this being home so foreign it couldn't possibly settle. 

You walk and walk and walk some more, until you stumble upon - and almost trip over - a creature.  With its small, roundish shape you almost mistook it for a ball. 

"Have the best day, stranger!" it looks up at you with kind eyes, "may all your days be the best."

"Thank you, uhh… " 

"Snom!"

"Snom. Do you know how to get out of the Ball Pit?"

The creature makes a confused sound - a terribly cute one, you must admit. "What is a 'Ball Pit'?"

"Where we are now. This place-" you try to make a sweeping gesture, but find it difficult because of all the balls. 

"Are there other places besides this one?" the creature turns its head to the side, questioning. 

"Yes, of course! There's cities, and countries all full of people."

"And where are they?"

"Where?... On planet Earth, I guess."

"And this planet, is it a ball?"

"I- well, sort of, I guess so?"

"Then it must be somewhere in the Ball Pit!" a happy Snom jumps up and down, "follow me, I'll help you find it!"

You follow the creature, unsure of how a planet could fit somewhere in here, but still grateful for the help. 

Before you can take more than a few steps, an old, rickety bus zooms out of the depths of the pit and screeches to a stop right in front of you. There's something written on the side of it, but before you can read anything after 'DOWN WITH' the doors slam open, and a group of people with matching shirts jump out, look you up and down, make a few 'humph' sounds and drag you inside. One of them smiles at Snom, who waves their tiny paw at you in a goodbye. The bus doors shut. 

"Please!" you say, "I- I haven't done anything, and nobody would pay much for me, please, just-"

"I can see you haven't done anything," says the person nearest to you. Your eyes adjust to the dim lighting, and you are almost sure they have the same blue hair and large black hoodie as the one who said they stole shoelaces. "Have you tried any pronouns? Dyed your hair a fun color? Tried wearing a suit and make-up together? Come on, live a little!"

"I… " you stop, because you haven't dyed your hair, and you haven't tried any names or pronouns aside from which you were given, and now that they mention it, it might not be so bad, at least to get these people to leave you alone.

"Come on, dear," says a person in a rainbow-colored wizard robe, and you realize that the black mass crawling near them is hundreds of rats, "let me do your make-up."

You decide not to argue with a gang that has a rat-summoning wizard in it if they seem to just want to mess with you a little, and so you sit at the offered spot and let them do their thing. 

While they choose their tools and pick colors palettes (they tried asking for your opinion on them but you kept saying 'yes' to everything so now they're just doing their thing), you look around the bus. The light is colored and muted by the plastic balls and then made even more sparse by passing through the bus windows, but you notice a normal-looking person clinging to the arm of a giant wolf-like man-beast. 

You wave at them. The person grins. The wolf? man? creature??? growls. 

"Are you… okay?" you lean forward and whisper to the person. 

"Oh absolutely," they answer instantly, " This is my werewolf boyfriend!! He *** and ****** in my ****** until I ******* and then it ****** all over the place! I love him so much."

"Wow. Good for you," you say and lean back, trying to banish the mental image. This must not be healthy, right? I mean, that's practically a beast. And that whole….interaction…. sounds pretty painful. But the way the enamored person looks up at their partner doesn't make it seem wrong. Some new warmth settles in your chest. 

"There ya go, dude!" the wizard shows you the result of their work in a reflective orb they fetch out of their sleeve. Your jawline looks sharper, your lips colored dark purple. 

You don't look like you always do, but you do look like yourself. A strange feeling, on par with the strange place. You can't say you hate it. 

"Thanks, uh, dude," you say, and carefully, all so carefully, not to anger the rat wizard or the lycanthrope fellow, stand up. Nobody's holding you back or trying to stop you. 

"How're you feeling?" The blue-haired person asks. 

"Alright… good, I think. "

"Great! " they clap and usher you to the door, "now you better leave, we still need to get our favorite wizard to the skeleton war. Have a good one!"

With that, they practically shove you out of the bus and back into the multi-colored mess of the Ball Pit. You watch as the bus powers its way away. You didn't ask them about the exit.

You walk, the balls bouncing out of your way - this used to be harder, hadn't it? The orbs feel kind of  like you would imagine the inside of a fizzy drink to feel if it was dry. 

Out of nowhere, a red dodgeball hits you on the head. You hold it and stare at it, scratching the forming bruise. "What in god's name?... " you mutter. 

"You should say something interesting now," says a leisurely, melodic voice. You look around and spot a radiant young man in a tunic leaning against some of the balls. You were not aware one could do that. 

"Uhm… I? I think it might rain on Thursday?" you figured out it's best not to argue with people here. 

The man sighs. "Prophecy wasted," he mutters and turns to leave. 

"Wait! Do you know how to leave the Ball Pit?" you shout before he disappears. 

"Why would you do something so useless, waster of gifts?" he shrugs without turning back. The dodgeball is still in your hands. 

You walk some more. Your feet are getting sore and you're just this side of exhausted, so when you see a small stone shrine you sit down, leaning against its warm wall. You nap, and, once you feel your fatigue lift, leave your dodgeball at the shrine's base as a small offering. 

"Apollo's gift? That's a new one." you hear a voice in your head. "I'm afraid I cannot offer you anything-"

"There you go again, old fellow," another voice cuts the first one off, " we both know you can offer plenty."

"Not as much as you."

"Oh, much more than me. But we must be scaring the young'un. Hello, little one! I'm Arepo, the god of everlasting friendship, and this is the god of Every Humble Beauty in the World."

"You, introducing me all fancy and leaving scraps of your own title... At least know, little one, I am also the god of Arepo."

You nod, not entirely sure why one god would be the god of another, or why the gods of everlasting friendship and humble beauty would share a temple, but your rest was sweet, and the two sound kindly.

"Do you know if there is any end to the Ball Pit?" you ask the two. 

"I do not think so,," says the God of Every Humble Beauty and Arepo, "but I'm not sure there should be."

You nod and thank them, and continue on your journey. After what feels like a few hours or perhaps a few years, you see something ahead. Blue, light pink, bright pink. The evening sky. 

You stop and stare. The sunset is beautiful. The sunset must mean an exit. The end to the Ball Pit. The end of your journey. It wasn't all that bad here, was it? 

You take a step forward. Another. One more. You squint, and laugh, and sigh, and run your fingers along the mural. 

From the lightest periwinkle to burning red to the almost-black of deep in the night to light blue again. Where the mural ends, instead of an artist's signature, the friendly lettering asks you 'Do you like the color of the sky?'.

You do. You do like the color of the sky. 

Light passes through the balls, and you wonder how they ever felt restricting, floating around you like colorful fireflies. You can see for miles ahead, a space filled with bizarre people doing even more bizarre things. 

You take a deep breath. Step forward.

You are no longer trapped in the Ball Pit. 

[bazthefirstborn]

Please, sub Ayaka with male reader, that is all I need in my life time. All the posts I see are fem reader

love this idea!!!! ayaka is the beloved <333

Sub Ayaka x Dom AMAB reader!

hc's and a mini fic at the end hehe hope this feeds the ayaka lovers

a/n: head over heels by tears for fears came on while I was writing this and I feel like that's appropriate

haven't written for real in a while, kind of rusty, hopefully this is ok anon <333

(notice the blue banner bc ayaya) very proud of that

tags: dom!male reader, lingerie, fingering, p in v, praise, porn with plot, yuckily romantic, like cavity rotting sweet smut bc I'm going soft

smut under the cut minors dni!!!

hc's first:

she deserves the absolute best

get her all sorts of little gifts

loves lingerie sets! especially the cute lacy ones

is very embarrassed constantly but especially when you finger her

turns beet red at the sight of you

the first time she sucks you off she's constantly looking at you like a lost puppy

praise praise praise!!!!! tell her how good she's doing and how perfect she is!!!!!

calling her pretty girl and tell her she's doing good and she could cum

lives for temperature play

will cry when you eat her out also

please go slow with her!

always has to hold your hand when you fuck <333

a super duper romantic at heart <3

fic time hehe

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ayaka was always busy. Being part of the Yashiro Commission and having so much work to do, she barely has any time to spend with you.

So, when you get home, stressed from a busy day at work, all you want to do is spend the rare free weekend you both have with her.

So, when you walk in the door and she's not waiting for you, a lot goes through your head. Could she still be at work? Did she get more papers to fill out? More festival prep? Maybe she fell asleep at her desk?

"Ayaka? I'm home!"

you hear a quiet voice, but it's unmistakably her.

"I'm in here, my love..."

She sounded nervous, and you get confused. Why is she nervous? Did something happen? So, you walk through the bedroom door and...

You drop everything in your hands. Your eyes go wide. There's your Ayaka, standing next to your shared bed, in a beautiful baby blue lingerie set you'd bought her. She was clearly nervous, har arms crossed over her chest, biting her lip, and refusing to look at you.

You struggle to think of works, mind blank. Only able to take in the sight in front of you.

"Oh my god... Ayaka... you look.."

"How bad is it?"

She's staring at her feet now, refusing to look in your direction.

"Darling you look amazing!"

she's blushing furiously now.

"You... you think so?"

At a loss for words, the only thing you can do is rush over to her, pulling the flustered woman into a desperate kiss. She's surprised, eyes wide, before she closes them and kisses you back, placing her hands in your hair. It feels like hours before you part for air, both breathing heavy and significantly redder.

"What brought this on?" Were the first words that left your mouth, eyes roving over her body appreciatively, attempting to commit the sight before you to memory.

"Well I- You were so busy and... I wanted to give you a gift... It's stupid I know but-"

"Ayaka, my love, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me! There's nothing stupid about this. I love it, really!"

She looks like she could cry. Her shoulders drop. She's relieved, clearly, but there's something else swirling in her eyes now. She's... aroused?

"Th- thank you... I'm glad you... like it."

She's the one to grab you now, pulling you by the collar down to the bed, bringing you down on top of her. She hurriedly starts unbuttoning your shirt, before moving on to your pants and belt.

You're left in your boxers. She's staring now, almost drooling at your hardness. She looks like she's anticipating something.

"Do you want to take these off of me Darling?"

She's as red as a tomato now. When she reaches down, her hands are shaking. You take her hands in yours and guide them off.

Now, she clearly is drooling at you. You look down and see the damp spot in her panties getting darker, so you move to take them off when she says, "I- I already... prepped."

You look at her, thinking you must have heard her wrong, something, when she looks at you and moves them aside herself. There it is. A plug, nestled inside her.

Oh. Oh. Oh my God.

You're clearly at a loss when she puts your hand a little closer to where she needs it. "Please... I've been waiting nearly all day for this..."

Still not speaking, you slowly pull the plug out, eliciting a long moan out of her. "God, please, I need you so bad... Please, Love, please!"

Grinning now, you feel the need to tease her a bit.

"What is it that you need Ayaka? I need words."

Her lower lip is practically raw from how much she's bitten it. She looks away, but you grab her chin and force her to look up at you.

"I- I need you... I need your cock... Please- Please give it to me."

She's going to be the death of you.

You slip inside easily, but somehow, it's anything but easy to you. Just seeing her face, all blissed out, even before you've moved, could have you cumming like a teenager. Even more so when she pushes her ass into you, trying to get you deeper.

"Please... I need you!" She's whining desperately now, tears forming at her waterline.

"You have me."

---

this was fun to write hopefully it isn't too rusty lol hope you enjoyed!!! I love getting asks plz send some in!!!!

[unique-high]

Keep Wanting You | RIIZE ANTON X BLK FEM READER.

summary: why you gotta make me keep wanting you?

theme: ex-lovers in a small town.

loosely based on the song Why Ya Wanna by Jana Kramer. Lyrics are sort of written into the fic.

a/n: I do take requests for RIIZE so yeah. 😭 this is just a little drabble I did it late in the morning because I really love this song and I really wanted to write something for Anton. 🥺 sorry for any mistakes.

You didn't expect for your ex Anton to walk through those diner doors that late August afternoon. So all the gossip around town was true that he was back in town. He's the only person from high school who left this little hometown to chase his big dreams in a big city. He's chatting with some older people who watched him grow up as a kid. You were hoping he didn't notice you, but he does, that little glimpse he gives you while he's talking with someone makes your heart sink to your stomach.

Why did he have to come here, of all places?

Anton walks up to your table. He's smiling and your heart is breaking like the night he left you behind in this town. You want to hide your face, your eyes sting as you try to fight back the tears with a fake smile.

He's wearing an old shirt that you love. A cotton white tee with a black heart sewn into the front pocket. You were never sure why you loved that shirt on him, but you did. Anton sat across from you, his eyes taking you in.

“You're looking good,” he said.

His words felt like a punch to the gut. No hello. No, how you have been. Just you're looking good. It was kind of his way to draw you in a bit to make you trust him again and to get you to think he's leaving was never a big deal.

“Thanks...?” you said softly.

He reached across the table, his index finger tapping three times on the back of your hand. Three little taps coded for ‘I love you’, something you and Anton came up with back in high school.

You slowly drew your hand away.

“It's been a while,” he said.

“Yeah...it has...”

“You never left this place.” There's a bit of regret stuck in his throat.

“Why would I?” Your words are icy. “This place is all I know.”

“Don't you want to see something else outside of our hometown?”

“No... Not really.”

Seeing anything else didn't feel right. That safety of where home would always be kept you nestled in this town. And you never saw why Anton would want to leave a place that felt like a comforting hug after a long day. Or just suddenly leave you for some dream right after graduation. God, you were glad he wasn't here to see those first couple of months when you were a mess behind him.

So seeing him now, just having him sit across from you like everything was fine, slowly opened those wounds that didn't quite heal up enough.

“Is it wrong of me to say I've missed you?” he said.

You look down at your coffee mug. Your reflection staring back at you in the black coffee with a few cubes of sugar in it.

“Do you really?” Your voice creaks on the way up your throat.

Anton doesn't say anything for a moment. Maybe because it was selfish of him to say something like that. Like what right did he have to you now?

“Yeah. Mainly you're one reason I'm back here,” he said.

Him saying that caused you physical pain.

Was I really? Your red nails tapped at the side of the coffee mug. It would be a lie if you said you didn't miss him. If you didn't think about him all these years later. If you hadn't checked his Instagram a billion times to see if he had moved on. Just flings here and there, but nothing serious. The girls in the city could never compare to the one small-town girl that he still loved.

So he fucked up by leaving you.

“Anton, don't say something you don't mean.” You pleaded. “Don't okay?”

You look up from your coffee.

“I mean it though.” He said. “I mean it with every heartbeat.”

The corners of your mouth pull down and your eyes water. You grabbed a napkin from the middle of the table and dabbed at your eyes, trying not to ruin your makeup.

“I need to go.” You said.

Because things were getting too real. If he said anything else, you would have maybe done the one thing you said you'd never do, which was forgive him.

You slid out of the booth and so did Anton. You placed a couple of dollars on the table for your coffee. Anton follows you out of the diner. You stopped walking.

“Don't follow me–” It's the way he moved in for a hug that caught you off guard.

What was he thinking? You let it happen. You deep down you wanted it though. It's a shame almost you craved his hug. How you melt against his body, how his arms tighten around your shoulders, your face in his chest smelling him. You were coming unglued.

It's sad how you wanted him again to go back to the familiarities of his love like he never broke your heart when he said goodbye. And God, how you wished he had been cold towards you like any ex would. But that wasn't him.

You needed to push him away. You needed to yell at him that this wasn't fair—that he doesn't get to do this to you. Hell, you can't bring yourself to do any of it. It felt so right with him right now.

[justsigma-bsd]

Dreams, Nightmares, Memories (Aren't they all the same?)

For some reason this one didn't get out of my head so I wrote it. Have fun with the angst-

tw for an implied suicide attempt (technically? honestly that's what that one scene in the Sky Casino Arc was, change my mind), the traffickers & abuse and I guess violence? If I'm missing anything please let me know-

Routine. That was something he couldn't help but enjoy, after... everything. 

Casino chips clattering across tables, guests shouting in joy or frustration. His heels clacking across the marble floors. Coffee in the morning, chatting with guests, a quick lunch, paperwork, another coffee, playing dealer for some guests, a small dinner, paperwork... 

He offered smiles, here and there, to customers and employees alike. Day after day. He enjoyed his work, even if he worked late into the night, rose before even the sun did. There wasn't a day where he wasn't tired, but he pushed through. 

For the sake of the casino, for the sake of his customers... for the sake of his home, his family. The casino was everything he had. He couldn't lose it. 

Why did that feel wrong?

But like all things in his life, like every routine he managed to built himself... this one, too, he lost to the whims of fate. Or perhaps to the whims of whoever had written him into existence. Maybe this loss was something unavoidable, something that had been written into his future. 

He didn't know. How would he?

"Welcome to our world" she said, her eyes staring deep into his own. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the bitter irony. The Hunting Dog's words had a double meaning, to him. One that she likely wasn't even aware of. Why would she be? 

His body moved on autopilot, his grip tightening around the woman's arm, and he pushed himself back, dragging her along to what surely be both their doom. It was alright. If he had to choose between himself and the casino... he'd rather the casino remain. 

They'd find a new manager, surely.

The chances that he'd find a new home was less likely... and yet, the thought left his soul aching because something about it felt wrong. 

But it didn't matter. 

They were falling, yet the Hunting Dog freed herself from his grasp and managed to hold onto a ladder. He felt numb, but at the same time it felt familiar. As if it had happened before. As if he'd been in this exact situation over and over... but he wasn't capable of concentrating on the feeling of déjà-vu for long. 

A familiar shape appeared in the corner of his eyes. Swooping down and towards him... and right past him. Their eyes met, for a split second, and a feeling of wrong overcame him once again. Whatever feeling of déjà-vu he'd had was broken in an instant. 

You were supposed to catch me, he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He could just stare up at the figure which was dangling down from the casino by a thin rope until everything went dark. 

His shoulder hit the ground hard and he clenched his teeth, letting out a shaky breath. Don't make a sound, don't complain, don't react, he told himself, eyes falling to the ground. There was a pair of boots in his field of his vision, and he felt his stomach sink. 

"What did I tell ya about sharin' information you're not supposed ta?" 

Even though his memories reached back only about a few months, at most, he knew how to differentiate between simple annoyance and actual anger. He didn't need to look at the other's face to know that the man was absolutely furious. 

He wasn't sure what information he'd even relayed, and to who. There had been so many exchanges that day, his head was still whirling and trying to properly sort it all. His hand still ached, as did his back and ribs. While pain did help sorting the mess in his head, he absolutely hated it. 

Not like his captors cared. 

There was a sudden burst of pain and he found himself staring at the wall instead of the ground. 

Ah, he must've spaced out again. 

"Useless little... be glad the boss wants ta keep ya around for that ability o' yours. I hope ya are thankful that we keep ya around, rat" 

Silently he nodded, hands stubbornly clenching into fists. His cheek stung where he'd been slapped, but he knew better than to react further than this. It wasn't like he could lift a single hand, anyway, with the way they were shackled together. He forced out a quiet "Yes" and kept his gaze on the floor.  

There was a long moment of silence, and he clenched his teeth when he was slapped a second time. "I think I didn't hear ya" there was a hint of a warning in his captor's tone, and he swallowed heavily. 

For a second, he considered being stubborn, just once. But he was exhausted, and while he hated the loneliness of his cell... he preferred it over even more unnecessary pain. "Yes, Sir" he murmured, voice scratchy, and yelped when he was dragged to his feet by the long portion of his hair. 

The déjà-vu was back, and he didn't fight back as he was dragged down the hallway. This time, it at least made sense. He'd been dragged down the endless hallways over and over since arriving here. Often by the shackles around his wrists, sometimes by the arm, not too rarely by his hair like it was the case today, and once even by the back of his shirt. 

It hurt, getting dragged by the hair, but it was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. It was nothing he wasn't used to already. Nothing that he hadn't experienced before. Day in, day out. A routine he'd love to shake off... but at least it was routine. 

"Y'know... I wonder what the boss would say" 

That too, was familiar, and he barely concealed a flinch when cold steel dug into his back. Which was less less familiar. He was shoved, suddenly, and his knees hit the ground hard. More bruises, as if he hadn't got enough of those already. 

He scrambled up, one hand against the wall to stabilize himself, but only managed to get into a half-kneeling position before he heard a click. The gun's safety. He felt as though frozen, eyes wide. His heart raced.

"If I shot you right now and said 'the lil' rat wanted ta escape!'... what do ya think, boy, would he mind? He doesn't like ya very much, and who knows... maybe we'll even find a replacement soon" 

He couldn't deny fearing for his life, in that moment. Yet at the same time, he feared for whoever was unlucky enough to end up his replacement. It wasn't a fate he wished on anyone. He wasn't sure how long he, himself, would continue to be able to keep this up. 

Silent, he stared at the ground, unable to hide a slight tremble. 

Was this the end? If his captor pulled the trigger, it'd be over. The pain, the headaches... everything.

Then again, if the trigger was pulled, he wouldn't see them again. 

Wait... 

Something was off. The déjà-vu felt broken yet again. "Wait" he uttered aloud, and his head shot up. Something was wrong. This wasn't how this was supposed to play out. Why was he remembering faces, names- 

There was a resounding bang echoing in his ears and suddenly all he knew was darkness yet again.

 

Sigma's eyes shot open. It took him a painfully long moment to realize who the one screaming was. When he did, he pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle the noise and force himself to quiet down, scrambled to sit up. His free hand found air instead of the mattress.  

He felt weightless, for a moment, only to crash back down to earth. His shoulder ached where it had connected with the floor and he winced, rubbing a hand over the spot. He blinked, looked around the room with a shaky breath. 

Familiar walls greeted Sigma, and he pressed a hand to his mouth, the other against his chest. He could still feel his heart race, and slowly got up from where he'd landed on the ground. He flipped on the lights and paced, for a moment, trying to calm his racing heart. 

Just a dream... well, nightmare. Just regular nightmare. Sigma was used to that. Should be used to that. God, he still hated them, anyway. 

His gaze wandered to his arm, then down to his wrists when he put his hands together to examine them. The loose shirt he was wearing had ridden up slightly, and Sigma swallowed heavily when his eyes caught on the scars littering his wrists like two misshaped bracelets... or shackles. 

He pulled the sleeves down harshly and with trembling hands, letting out a shaking breath. Slowly, he shook his head, clenched his teeth, and flipped off the lights. There was no point in paying the past anymore mind tonight, even if he'd lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all night long. 

His nightmares didn't tend to portray the past correctly, anyway. Atsushi had caught him, back when he'd fallen off Sky Casino, and his captors hadn't ever shot at him in the hallway. 

Everything was alright. 

It was just a nightmare... or perhaps a mixture of memory and nightmare was the better way to phrase it. But then again, dreams and nightmares and memories... they were all the same, in the end, weren't they?

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

(⭐fanfic writers' commentary)

@plutosoda hi

Ooh, time to reread my old writing, huh? Always a fun trip, especially given I'd totally forgotten like half of it including that repetition trick you'd mentioned…

fair warning, i only got like 3 asks for this thing so I'm gonna commentate on pretty much the entire fic here. This post never ends.

Here's an entire director's commentary on All-Nighter! Enjoy!

"The covers were warm… But at least it'd get something done before passing out again."

I'm still fond of this intro. I'm terrible with being succinct, but this is somewhere where my rambling writing style really works; this section is written from experience of many a 'stayed up too anxious now you can't sleep' nights, and someone who has read a lot of the techniques to fix that problem, then didn't (ADHD lol). That is in fact what my internal monologue tends to be like at night - a mix between recalling every single way you've ever learnt to pass out, worrying about what happens tomorrow, 'why is life like that. what did i do,' and just a pinch of 3am self loathing.

I never really thought of it until an AO3 commenter pointed it out, but it was a fairly natural way of worldbuilding/expositing/characterisation all in one go. Establish the premise of the fic, Robot only bothering to process things when it's on the brink of exhaustion, the way it's kinda obsessed with productivity and efficiency and self-improvement.

I'm proud of it!

Also I like to think Lady Luck only does the weird scheduling thing for Robot. She'd be the type of person to try and make the Dungeons a personalised hell for everybody.

“Hey, could I get a coffee, do you think? …I’ve been sleeping so badly down here.”

I'm quite happy with the intro to the next bit too. My goal going into most fanworks (still) is to emulate what drew me to the original story. In this case, that's Dicey's tone and dialogue, with a bit more direct focus on the characterisation of everyone. So this is sort of a meta plot device that signals all that to the reader. I love how efficient that is. also I just like throwbacks and references okay

"The canteen was a dense jumble of kichen counters…"

I could've been a little faster with this scene and Robot subsequently making the coffee. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I hallucinate some of the scenes in my head, and try to write down everything in that instead of just drawing a comic (cough that one unpublished Ninjago fic). I'm a sucker for describing scenery for days on end.

That said, I'm really glad I got the vibe of 'light-blue-grey' morning over to you in your fanart. It was exactly what I was imagining as I was writing this.

"Pre-ground. …But this was just evil."

I think I'm funny. Anxiety cube can put up with a lot, but terrible coffee isn't it.

"They taste horrible compared to freshly ground beans. It’s not worth the convenience."

haha. because you see. that's its heart's desire *gets turned into a dice*

"Pouring a generous portion for its new friend, Robot masked its complaints with a long sigh." "…But thanks to the innovations of modern day life-” An overhead swig downed half the mug."

A commenter pointed out that some of my lines have really good flow in them between actions and characterisation. I didn't notice that until then, but I'm inclined to agree. Some of these drive in the point really well.

"At least its fellow patron was enjoying themselves – not even flinching at the concoction and savouring the coffee raw. It was tempted to start a commentary on how dark roasts were overrated, but soon became a little more concerned about them drinking through the 100 centigrade burns. This place had quite the collection of creatures, it seemed."

I like to think Robot's a little snobby about the things it enjoys. I like to think Lady Luck tries to throw people off as much as possible.

"So, how’s the self-improvement going?" they started. "I only want top quality minions in my dungeons."

Very fun fact is that I was worried about spoiling the twist in this fic because of this line being so blatant, but I wanted to put it in anyway because it's a good character-establishing moment, and a good… re-interpretation of the line in another context? I love recontextualising canon in a slightly different way that still works for the characters in question. it's so fun

Anyways. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that because at least one reader totally missed this too so got hit with the full twist anyways. Isn't writing great?

"So, what’s keeping you up this late?” they asked. “Nightmares? A looming sense of regret and existential dread? Unfinished essays due tomorrow morning?"

essays due tomorrow morning. haha so true. i'm glad I don't take much coursework nowadays.

"You know, as useless as it looks, sleep’s rather important for you folks. It’s how you deal with all the terrible things that happen during the day, since your brain can just wipe the slate clean and try again. But funnily enough, it’s always the first thing that’s left behind whenever someone wants to better themself." "Life’s painful enough as it is. Why not change things up if your current routines aren’t working?" "Nobody ever plays the cards they’re dealt perfectly, dear… Time always slips you by when you’re not paying attention. And nobody ever knows what’s coming next. You’ve just got to learn when to raise and fold them." "Well, part of being human is never being a hundred-and-one percent efficient. If you folks still count yourself as that. I’d apologise but I remember you were quite nonchalant about your little transformation anyways."

One of the main points of this fic was that while Lady Luck is blatantly on the offensive and absolutely insulting Robot to its core, she's not technically… wrong?

It's not bad advice. Lady Luck, in-game, seems very perceptive of the various insecurities mortals go through. And I like to think she does start this conversation just for genuine fun, to pick someone apart. See if they bounce back against it or just crumble. It's just a bonus that the recipient finds it harder to refute her offers afterwards.

"It might!" it snapped back, getting them to at least try and contain their mockery under a silent, wavering smirk. "You know what? I think it will be, I can feel it!"

Robot sort of does both. It's definitely very very anxious. But it's stubborn. I really like that about its character: how there's a contrast between its organised and disorganised sides? How robots are usually associated with hard numbers and calculations, but Robot's mechanic is blackjack. also it's SO autism/adhd coded. listen. in this

I don't know if there's a trope to call either of these, but they're my favourite things about both characters, and they're surprisingly introspective for a game so short on story. (I will write more about that in another post. lol).

It's a bit indulgent in how long it goes on in some areas, but eh. It works for the fic's pacing.

"The figure leaned forward to highlight its obvious obliviousness…" "I thought you were supposed to be the overly organisational optimist."

I love alliteration. yippee!

"A gentle chuckle filled the air, restrained from its usual projecting echo. "You wound me, Robot. Games are always more fun when your players at least get the chance to try and fight back."

I like to think Lady Luck's main motivation is entertainment. Which mostly involves watching people suffer. But I think it's in the spirit of luck to have it so that someone's downfall was their choice. Determinism versus free will and whatever.

The chance that somebody could escape makes things spicier. And makes it sting all the more for all those that didn't. Hooray!!

Also given Lady Luck's usual loud persona, I planned (plan) on giving her quite a few more subtle but equally threatening moments in this series. It's a thing that wouldn't really work well in the actual game, but it does in a slower medium like writing, and I fucking love that trope.

"Statistically unlikely, but I’ll humour it," she commented to an invisible aside."

You should picture this scene as her directly staring at you through the fourth wall. Like in a sitcom.

"But it’s not so bad, being a minion… I’ve heard that’s about as stable as a job as you can get these days." "…though surprisingly she was not the worst boss it had had to deal with."

I always thought this line, used on Thief in-game, would've been an absolute killer on Robot. The job market is pretty fucking shit these days under capitalism and you would be lying if you said there aren't at least some parts of the Dungeons that seem better work-wise. Inclusivity, stable employment, accommodation.

Yeah, you have no freedom, but that's also the goal of capitalism up here as well. At least in Dicey it's ridculous and ironic. And you'd get to use your degree in maths/statistics/acounting etc to its full extent! Can you fucking imagine the paperwork for a game-show/dungeon hybrid business.

"But then again, I think you’re plenty used to the grind."

I believe this was an unintentional-turned-intentional coffee pun. Boooooo

"Funny how they think that’ll discourage anybody. …Folks hear that the house always wins and immediately think they’ll be the exception."

She would be the one to know that. This was intended as a followup to Robot's entire argument before. I'm very happy that at least one person picked up on that :D

"So whatever you pick, it'll be a decision from Robot alone, no matter what your mind or body drags you into afterward.”

I believe this was also supposed to be a callback, but the wording got changed slightly. I think it was the "It feels like my mind and body won’t stop working against me" bit.

"Normally, Robot would’ve stayed to socialise and make new friends, and in all likelihood, skipping breakfast would leave it starving later on in the day. But right now, it needed some time to itself: to think and recover and remember where it was going with this."

This was another callback (that actually made it into the story). Robot immediately making another bad decision after the first, with the exact same words echoing it coming.

"Just another day in the dungeons. It could handle this."

I wanted the ending to be very short and open-ended, in that it was up to you to interpret whether Robot took the offer or not, and when. But regardless I wanted it to be like a regular intro to an episode, but with the hint something definitely fucking changed that the audience can only speculate on.

…oof. 80 minutes on this essay. My poor neck. I think that's it for now, though.

Overall I'm really happy with this piece - hence why it's one of the few things I actually put online. It's three years old, and I could've fixed the flow in some bits (there's one part where I think Robot answers a different question than was asked).

But I achieved pretty much everything I wanted to say in this piece of fanwork, it pushed me to think about characterisation a lot and my writing and editing techniques. There's a lot of neat little things I put into it, and it really got me to grips with what I liked about my inspiration in the first place.

I think that's an exercise worth trying for every fan-work creator. Stretches you brain. Almost lets you re-experience what you loved about a thing years later. Points you towards your possible future diagnoses. It's a fun time!

[goodlucktai]

hi! this is quite embarrassing, but it’s currently two in the morning and I figured I wasn’t going to get any meaningful sleep unless I sent you this ask, so here it is!

you have absolutely no idea who I am, but I wanted to let you know that you were probably the first author I ever admired. I read all your tmnt fics on fanfiction.net (circa 2012, if I remember correctly) and after I managed to find my old account there tonight, I realized you also read some of my works, too. you left kind comments on some rather roughly written fics of mine, lol. and I have a god awful memory, but I’m certain I was ecstatic to get your feedback (to say the least). I was so jealous of your talent, but also so inspired. you really pushed me to continue writing even though you were never aware of it! and looking back on it now, I think writing might be one of the best things I’ve ever pursued :)

to this day I still write fics, albeit no longer for tmnt. and I’ve grown so much as a person and as an author — but every few years or so I still think about you and your works and that cute Mikey icon/profile pic you had for some time. going back to my roots and all, I suppose! I’m disgustingly sentimental like that, lol, but it’s nice to remember the things I’m grateful for every once in a while. and one of those things is you!

all this to say: I hope you’re doing well. I’m so happy to see you’re still active and writing. I might spend some time going through your ao3 just for the hell of it, even though I haven’t touched tmnt in so many years. you’ve had such a lovely domino effect on my life and I’m so glad I’ve finally found the courage to let you know that. I guess this is also a reminder to you, too, that you have had a positive, decade-long impact on a stranger, so who’s to say you haven’t touched the lives of so many others as well? you are so, so appreciated! 💛

there’s absolutely no pressure for you to post this ask or respond in any way — I just needed to thank you in the only way I could, and also wish you well. have a beautiful day! and please — keep writing! :)

i don't even know what to say. first of all, thank you for taking the time to send something so kind to me (if i cried over this at 6 am that's between me and god)

your timing is so incredible actually. i was laid off at the beginning of the month and i've been struggling to find motivation and inspiration since. and sort of letting myself sink into a self-doubt spiral. so this message really truly means a lot to me. and i'm going to think about it every single time i want to close a doc without at least trying to write something down

i'm so, so happy that you pursued writing, and honored that i could be a little voice of encouragement !! i hope everything goes well for you and that you remember you've always got someone in your corner <3

and thank you again ! thank you 🩷

[peachy-panic]

For a while now, I have been thinking about making a whump blog. Because I've been following the whump community from the sidelines for some time, and it seems like such a lovely place full of mutual support and encouragement. I've been writing for a long, long time. For decades now, actually. Stories, RPs. The likes. So I wouldn't even go in without some sort of experience, I thought. Then I stumbled across your blog and read your stories and I'm absolutely blown away by how beautifully and well written they are. Now I feel totally insufficient and find myself thinking: "What the hell could I even contribute?" I SWEAR THIS IS A COMPLIMENT, BECAUSE YOUR WRITING IS JUST SO GOOD AND CAPTIVATING IT MAKES ME QUESTION EVERYTHING I HAVE WRITTEN LATELY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! <3 <3 <3 <3 And now I'll crawl back into my cave and will continue to watch from afar... Have a great day, and thank you for your writing!

This is very very kind to me, thank you. BUT—it is not very kind to YOU.

You absolutely should not let comparison be the thief of joy. One thing I’ve learned for certain, being in writing communities like this one, is that every amazing writing I know has experienced impostor syndrome when it comes to their writing ability.

I truly cannot stress enough how self-deprecating I get about my own writing.

I mean, to the point where I feel nauseous and anxious reading some chapters back and start spiraling about how I’ll never be as good as so-and-so, so what’s even the point.

But I keep writing & posting anyway, because I love these stories, they bring my genuine joy to hold inside my head and put down on paper, and somehow I’ve found my own little audience that seems to enjoy them too.

Give yourself a chance! Nothing you post here needs to be perfect. We do this for free. If you believe in your stories, that’s all that matters. Your audience will find you.

Anyway, once again, this was very nice of you to say and I’m really glad you like my stories. ❤️

[nix-writes-mcyt]

I don't usually see many people write for xBcrafted so I was happy to see him on your list! (Even though you haven't written for him yet).

Can I just get some simple fluff with xB? From what I understand he's a little anxious around others so maybe just some cute cuddles between the two after a long day of one too many social interaction!!

Thank you! :]]

So I've got another request very similar to this so I'm putting them both under the same one. Woo xB fic!!

Finally got the PC sorted, masterlists are sorted out and I'm getting to formatting the Autumn Headcanons posts properly now. We should be back to my semi-regular scheduled posting (like one fic every month-ish). Again thank you all for your patience, enjoy this fic!

Peace and Quiet

Drabble Contains: The purest of Fluff. ---------------

The sound of the front door closing allows you to finally relax, you know he will too.

Big social events aren't a thing you and xB usually do. Or any social events. They're often loud and crowded and full of.. people.

The party invite was surprising, but you couldn't really turn it down. It was from Keralis after all. Everyone knows neither of you can say no to Keralis. Sometimes you wonder if that's why Keralis invites you to social events.

So you and xB had gone, finding out it was a much bigger event than predicted and went on for much longer than you'd thought. The two of you had stayed as long as you could, but it had gotten to home time and the two of you were so glad for that.

Needless to say, you're both exhausted. Definitely both glad to be back in the quiet of your own home. No music, no people, no laser lights. Just you and xB.

xB collapses onto the bed beside you, staring up at the ceiling. "That was-" he takes in a deep breath. "A lot." You finish for him.

xB nods. "Somehow you knew exactly what I was going to say." He jests, only with a completely straight face. "Oh, you know, it's almost as if I see you every day and go to any other event you go to." xB turns his head to look at you now.

"Are you sure?" You can see the smile he's now trying his best to hide. "Well.. I could be wrong, I mean, I only live with you and see you every day and go places with you. Maybe I don't know you well."

xB giggles, "damn, I thought you loved me and everything." He's so dramatic with how he says this you can't help but laugh and cuddle into him.

"I do love you." xB allows himself to smile properly now, that beautiful smile that made you fall for him in the first place. He turns to face you fully, the two of you spending more than a moment adjusting various limbs to get comfortable holding each other.

Once you do, xB gives you a small kiss on the cheek, not having the range of motion to reach your forehead or your lips, but a kiss is a kiss. The two of you settle, enjoying the near silence in the bedroom before xB breaks it with a single sentence. "I love you too."

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Thoughts on Merrily We Roll Along

In short: it's so fucking funny that it's advertised as this wholesome show about friendship when it's actually an incredibly bleak show about the erosion of friend groups lmaooo

Longer thoughts:

Lindsay Mendez wasn't playing Mary Flynn when I saw it--instead it was Jamila Sabares-Klemm. She was absolutely fantastic. I'm really glad she got time to shine on stage, because I thought she had a wonderful voice and was a top-notch actress. She was believable with the intense emotions, and she was incredibly funny. She should get a leading role on Broadway

Jonathon Groff and Daniel Radcliffe were also incredible. Once again, able to deliver the comedy and tragedy in the show with equal measure. Radcliffe was great as a sort of nervous Charley (he really nailed it with "Franklin Shephard, Inc."), and Frank is a really unlikable character in the beginning, so I think it speaks to Groff's performance that you want to stick with him and see how he got to that point

I love the storytelling device of telling the plot in reverse, because it makes the entire show sad without a constant barrage of explicitly sad songs; because we already know this story has an unhappy ending, the songs that are happy on a literal level are actually really bittersweet. It's a great way to tell a sad story without the whole show being a bummer, in one sense, but in another sense, I think seeing the super happy, hopeful scene at the end made the finale of the show much sadder than if the musical had ended with the scene that's actually at the end of the timeline, with Frank's life completely down the toilet, Mary as a dysfunctional alcoholic, and Charley having been cut off and out of the picture. I don't even consider this to be a spoiler, since this is literally the first scene of the musical lol

Relatedly, I liked how the musical reprises were in reverse. Sondheim talked about taking the same music and having it mean different things to characters at different points in their lives, and that's done really well in this show

Spoiler, I guess? But I love that Mary never told Frank how she felt. You're expecting some kind of emotional confession, and it never happens. That feels realistic. I also love that Mary never resented Beth, who was Frank's first love, and tried to look out for her when Gussie started to go after Frank.

The set was great, as was the book/dialogue written by George Furth that connected the songs. I think that this show could be hard to follow with weaker dialogue and songwriting, and I can kiiind of see why a rougher version of the show would fail (though I don't think the original version deserved to close so soon in '81). But as the show exists now, I was able to follow everything fine without having known much about it before walking into the theater

So yeah, I really enjoyed it. I thought these were well-written characters whose story was told in an interesting, unconventional way, and I think the execution was successful. Everyone in the cast was great, and I had a great time