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#i'm gna read n write more again. of all sorts of things
noxtivagus · 2 years
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i wna write
#🌙.rambles#just abt anything n everything really#even if it's not particularly good or just a dump from my messy head#i've always loved to write#yeah i've always been an open person in terms of how i express myself#i loved painting as well when i was a kid >.>#n i learned the piano too yeah music#but then aside from creatives i also performed well in school#i rmb it was mostly just probably a lack of recitation that maybe pulled me down a bit#bruh i've always been generally quiet but loud when i'm comfy huh#hmm one thing i like about myself is my intelligence#it's pretty balanced out just the way i've grown to like it. one way i love myself#i'm far from the smartest. i'm no genius. but i am naturally smart#part of my intelligence is my curiosity and capacity for deep emotions and my capability to learn quickly#but i'm somewhere in this weird clash of still 'fitting in' and feeling so out of place#it often feels like i don't belong in this world. with societal expectations n all that#i still perform well. i can't deny that. but it weighs me down n makes me do worse than i would have otherwise#i'm gna read n write more again. of all sorts of things#there's no end to what i want to learn from all aspects of life.#from stories to games to sciences to peoples to . everything#wah i have sm to do perhaps it wld be a waste to regret when i cld allocate that time for the future instead#costantly confused with an abundance of dilemmas and questions#it's interesting though. that's why i keep on going. there's so much more left to see and experience and learn and understand#i will not leave anything undone until i accomplish all that i can. i will not lose.#n along the way i hope to find more of myself. more meanign each n every time. people and memories. lessons and stories.#the vast depth of life intrigues me. even if i feel like i'm not a part of it then oh well i can observe from afar for now#someday i hope somewhere in myself i can finally allow myself to accept all that for me as well. properly. wholly#idk i have a habit of ending up treating things like work;; my innate sensitivity makes me overthink n overanalyze easily n. help wait#im doing that to myself again >.> idk i think i want to read more to see from other's perspectives#bcs most of what i know isn't actually from idk informative books. nah this is from my life n my thinking n emotions
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eras-mus · 10 months
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HIII I HAD A THOIGHT THAT HAS BEEN KILLING MY MIND AND I NEED TO TELL IT TO SOMEONE OTHERWISE IM GNA EXPLODE
get this . everyone chilling at ramshackle dorm doing their own thing, yuu (and grimm by extension), ace and deuce sitting by the table talking about whatever crosses their mind
Eventually the conversation escalates to birthdays and holidays and ace asks how old Yuu is. Azul interjects with saying Yuu's age from the contract they signed a few months ago, but then Yuu pipes up and tells them that they're one year older than that.
Theres a small moment of confusion until it dawns onto Deuce that Yuy's birthday was a month or two ago and they never spoke a peep about it. Not even to grimm!! And when asked, Yuy makes an excuse like "that was when __ was kind of close to overblotting and I didn't want to make it about me because that'd be so nitpicky—"
It was based off an audio i heard and idk if i want to write it into a short drabble for myself i probably cant since im only on book 2 ueue). But like. its a fun prompt methinks. what would all of them do when they find out Yuu deliberately didn't say a thing about their birthday
🎉
THAT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY???
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★Reader is Yuu and is 17 years old
★gender neutral
★takes place after the third book
Sorry it's short, hope you like it!
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"Can we start yet!" Ace complained, head slamming onto the table.
"I told you we're waiting on a couple more people." The perfect told him "I invited Kalim and Azul to join us since Sebek and Jack couldn't make it"
Tonight was the Ramshackle dorms weekly game night, normally it was just the freshmen but Sebek said that Malleus 'needs' his protection and Jack was just to tired from Spell Drive practice.
"They outta hurry up" Epel started, country accent slightly showing through "don't they know it's rude to be late."
A awkward silence fell over the dorm for a moment before a knock echoes through the dorm.
When y/n opened the dorm they were greeted with a cheerful smile and a hug.
"Thank you so much for inviting me!" Kalim smiled "I hope you don't mind that I brought Jamil, I also brought food, well Jamil did, he made it!"
Y/n blinked for a moment, taking in all the words one guy manged to say so fast. They looked over Kalim's shoulder just in time to see Jamil face plant.
"Thank you for the food Jamil" They smiled, giving him a wave.
"If was the least I could do perfect" he stated, not returning the wave.
Luckily Azul showed up before y/n could shut the door.
Just a few minutes later the group was playing some sort of trivia card game where they would either have to answer a question about someone else playing, a question about themselves, or just a random fact. If they got it wrong the next person would answer the same card, whoever got the most questions right won.
"Who is the most followed person in Magi Cam?" Epel read, "That's easy, Neige"
He revealed the answer to show it was correct.
"Of course you would get that one right" Ace complained "Vil never stops going on about it"
Every one just ignoring him looked over at Deuce, who was next to pick a card.
"How old is the person sitting to your right?" He looked over at y/n. "I'm not sure...18?"
They just shook their head.
"I know this one" Azul butted in, ready to take another point "Our contract from a while ago said that they were 16."
One again y/n shook their head. "I just turn 17 last month"
The room went silent for what seemed like forever.
"WE MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY!" They all shouted in union.
"Riddle is going to have a heart attack when he finds out" Deuce commented, Ace nodding in agreement.
"You should've said something, we could've had a huge party" Kalim whined.
Y/n scratch the back of their head, "It's not big deal, it was right after one of the overblots, plus where I'm from birthdays aren't that big of a deal."
"Jamil we need to plan a party right now" Kalim said, getting up from his seat.
"We have to too" Ace said "Or get Trey and Riddle to do it for us"
Soon everyone had said something similar and got up and left leaving a confused Ramshackle perfect.
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cantalooprat · 2 years
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Silent Reading
What I Liked
f e i d u ohmygod fei du!!!! truly one of the best main chars written in danmei ever. he's such a tragic character n yet so unbelievably strong as well, like wtf the readers reading modu know he's the victim of child abuse but he himself believes that he's a monster, the same kind as his father, even though time and time again he's shown that he's actually kind inside and not at all like the heartless fei chengyu hnnnnng i want him n luo wenzhou to be happy forever n ever pls pls pls
haa the romance is so good, i loved it in the beginning when they were both chasing after? tao ran n then when tao ran met his high school crush again they were both stuck in this awkward mutual commiseration stage n then they just... inadvertently flirt... n its super awkward... but then when they actually do start falling for each other... haa...
their romance has a v diff vibe from the usual danmei ideal of "you are my destined one, the only one for me in the entire universe, this lifetime (and the next)", theirs is more like "in this life, you may not be my first, but i've chosen you to be my last and i hope you will choose me too, for the rest of my life" n like... its a more realistic romance, a different flavor of sweet
tje fukin CAT i love luo yiguo n i love when lwz started thinking that fei du is the Second Luo Yiguo like its so true... also how tao ran brought yiguo to lwz n lwz was like nah bro but he loves the dumbass fat cat so much!!! its like how initially hes like fei du this brat but now he loves his fei du so much too!!!!! (n then in the end they got a second cat!!!!!)
the cases r so good n some parts r srsly suspenseful n made me gasp like the 3rd case bomb n fd shielding lwz, when tao ran got caught in another explosion (!!!!!), when xiao wu Died n i was sad!!!! even the zhou bros i thought it was gna be mdzs nie bros remix n it was kind of like that n i was sad again!!!
tao ran!! angel!!!! lang qiao!! the most chaotic imperial princess!!!! xiao haiyang!! awkward bean!!!! i love them all they def made modu a more enjoyable read
how can i not say anything abt the ad ost, the ad ost is literal perfection, both yimo n xinggang!!! even the dialog bits they chose for the maoerfm ver ugh,,, i love the way both r similarly vibed dark dramatic ballads, similar but not the same so when one wants to have More, they can listen to the other song n feel fulfilled n satisfied even more, n the lyrics haa i love the lyrics
ok the dialog bits tho, i was super excited to get to the dialog in the beginning of yimo n wah its actually in extra 1 which is like past the ending but it fits so well n they sound so happy im cryig, n then for xinggang they chose the confession (!!!) for the beginning n the sad sad "i'm the last monster left, won't you lock me up in your house" line for the end n im!!!! its so perfect!!!!!!
What I Disliked
as usual i am smallbrain n the last case trying to tie up all lose ends just sort of lost me lmao
iunno theres v few bad things i found abt modu, it was just? so well-crafted? so good? but when all is said n done i just don’t have lasting feelings for it. tbh so far out of all of the priest novels i’ve read, liu yao still has the most lasting impression lmao
Notes
!!!!!!! i have been so excited to write my shitty review for modu
priest is a goddess
luo yiguo!!!!!!!!
Quotes
In my heart, a cluster of flowers lifts their faces to the burning sun, More sweet-smelling than all fine wines. The boiling fragrance has engulfed the scarecrow’s chest, The straw spirit henceforth enjoying boundless longevity.
I’ll trust you again, even though you have such an unreliable record, and if you hurt me again… It seems I still won’t be able not to love you. 
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jungwnn · 3 years
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Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗
INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.
YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋
in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!
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pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!
Your overall relationship would consist of:
☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!
☼movie marathons!!
☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are
☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall
☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣
☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks
☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!
so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!
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I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!
Your overall relationship would consist of!!
☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well
☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)
☼always compliments your eyes !!
☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !
☼he has you as his wallpaper!
☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck
☼CHEEK KISSES!!!
for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!
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okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋
overall relationship!!
☼kisses on the lips all the time
☼plane ride cuddles
☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer
☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy
☼always talks to you abt the future <3
☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned
☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣
a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i shld sleep oh my god
#🌙.rambles#i am somehow not rlly sleepy despite barely having sleep but my head does ache slightly. but just a few more stuff left in this week n#i'll properly rest for a bit ! bcs next week even though we're gna have a break ofc there's like.. prom n then that vacation right after T_#gna be fun but i'm. definitely gna be rlly tired. n.. nah i need to stop overthinking abt sm stuff#just. anxious that i might end up being too shy. usually in social events like that i realize i#end up pushing myself a bit too much n then it ends w me just putting on a strong facade#i'm worried too i think bcs two of my friends haven't.. reconciled yet? so. yeah it is possible i may have to deal w some stuff during prom#fuck. i'm just. worried abt a lot of things in general. but i'm mostly overthinking it. everything.#sigh in general i'm being too harsh on myself again. wtf maybe it's the sleep-deprivation or smth bcs ik i'll manage it all#i believe in myself n know i'm capable but. it's just.. overwhelming rn i think. n it. hurts bcs it's like before in a way..? n like my wol#i wonder. what we'd all do if we were hypothetically given the chance to be able to do whatever we wanted in a day n have whatever we want#without changing the reality we have now or yeah no consequences at all. just a lil day in an alternate world we could control#if you were to choose for yourself n only for yourself what would you do?#sob ig i relate w rinoa too bcs of that strong facade part. i wrote that for my wol too#but like even w all that in the end uh. every time i read these sort of stuff it comforts me deep down#bcs i remember back then when i rlly just had my family#that.. loneliness. i write abt it a lot huh. not that i'm exactly seeking for something. maybe before bcs i didn't talk w my friends anymor#but now i suppose it's just something painfully constant. but not really too#i can't.. put it into words rn n i'm low on sleep. but i rmb just daydreaming to myself back then of my wol's development though#from heavensward.. sorta hiding herself n having to be strong for others. though she so desperately just wants to let her guard down#n be free yk. a break from all her responsibilities n rest.. she's young after all. but while i do relate with that it's still#yk particularly w the context of my wol being yeah the warrior of light in ffxiv. but. i rmb writing of how then that was being strong for#her. n.. yeah she was healing from stuff then. that's hw. but in stormblood ooh i wrote here that she put her emotions to the side#bottled them. became more serious n i tied that w being a samurai main back in stb w duty stuff help this connects well but it's funny#hesitant in heavensward to trying to do things more on her own in stormblood to.. accepting it all in shadowbringers#shy/quiet was more in hw while being serious/calm was in stb. raghhh i rmb my notes well in 2021 but i'm so afraid to look at like#the stuff i wrote last year 💀 but. oh my this is embarrassing but i do like how i even just dump my thoughts. it's bittersweetly beautiful#maybe i'm trying to accept everything at once or yk putting too much pressure on myself to improve holistically.#like.. i want to write before i grow older than my fav charas yk? n then just think of lots of stuff too n.#be productive. study. n idk just more more more in general but i could be less harsh on myself. yeah
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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perdev is now my favorite subject bcs these are literally the things i write to myself everyday
#🌙.rambles#i feel well again. maybe hearing the words from someone else is all i needed and wanted#i think i'm gna recite a lot in class this year aha#fr tho i really think n write this sort of stuff to myself a lot ><#i know i'm rather mature. i love myself. genuinely at the end of the day i will always choose kindness and love#it's kinda like drk tho bcs i also have quite the dark side#i wish i recited more actually bcs i have a lot of insight to share#my teacher read out all the things i put in the chatbox actually now that i think about it#i know i'm really proud of myself though. i know i'm self-aware#could always be better ofc n i still have a long way to go and a lot more to learn but i really am proud of all that i have accomplished.#this feels so good. i always love this level of peace. this kindness and gentleness i allow and accept for myself#i want perdev all day this is literally the topic i love the most#today WILL be the day i read a book again. and properly write#i can't believe it oh god but i really knew that#i really just want to hear and share it. to speak and be listened to.#my love and curiosity and passion for learning is endless timeless and boundless#i'll write and wander forever and ever. that's alright. even if i'm lost it's not like i need a destination all the time.#i'll forge my own paths.#there's still always this constant persisting pain and ache but that's alright#i really just want to continue writing and learning. i want to understand everything#i feel like rambling again rn but#classes nearly done for the day oh god i'm sleepy#2 hours of sleep 😭😭 i'll nap later#today's been a good day so far though. i'll be productive as well later on. i will definitely keep this up
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