#i'm going to say that's it and believe this is yet another crossover. the universes are uniting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nevis-the-skeleton · 1 year

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CTU : I'm not sure if you'll do this request (If you don't want to it's fine) because it's kind of a crossover between Shattered Glass Transformers PRIME and Transformers PRIME.

What happens is that Starscream (PRIME) died during a fight with the Autobots when he was thrown of the side of the Nemesis with a broken wing when the Autobots invaded them. Because of this the Universe went in to chaos since Starscream wasn't suppose to die. Unicron took advantage of this and sent another Stasrcream (Shattered Glass) to add to the chaos. Primus is trying to fix the issue the send Starscream (Shattered Glass) back to his Universe.

As for Starscream (Shattered Glass) ever since he was sent to this Universe, he has stayed away from the war between the Autobots (PRIME) and Decepticons (PRIME) and lived in an undiscovered Energon cave. He would sometimes observe their fights. But during a fight between the Autobots and Decepticons he was spotted by the Autobot scout, and had to come forward. The Decepticons and Autobots were surprised to see Starscream alive but didn't know that he (Starscream) was from a different Universe.

Form then on the Decepticons try to capture him for their use while the Autobots try to capture him to save him. In the end the Autobots had found him and took him to their base (Not without a fight).

Starscream had at one point realized he was in a different Universe which made him to stay away from them to avoid chaos.

When the Autobots asked him how he was alive, Starscream (Shattered Glass) didn't say anything. He could he? When he didn't have a voice box.

If you need more context I can give you more. (request on Ao3)

An interesting crossover 😊. Thanks for your request CTU ^^! I'm going to change some stuff you originally proposed to me, like the Decepticons giving up Starscream's body. He's still the Second in Command, so he will still have a funeral. Even if Megatron doesn't like him, it would be a very bad example for the troops.

~~~

KnockOut turned to Megatron, shaking his head, before unplugging the machines from Starscream's body. There was nothing more to be done, it was already a miracle that his fall hadn't killed him instantly, but even with all the expertise of the sports car, it was impossible to save the Seeker.

“I can fix him for the funeral if you wish, Lord Megatron." suggested the doctor.

The leader of the Decepticons remained silent for a moment, before finally nodding his head. He still couldn't believe Starscream was dead, yet he thought the Seeker would be the type to last until the end of the war. He was fleeing death like Rust, and yet even he hadn't been able to avoid it...

Those cursed Autobots had killed his Second-in-Command, he promised he would return the favor! The ex-gladiator clenched his fists, before leaving the medical bay, while KnockOut repaired the lifeless body of the jet.

Unicron watched all of this with some interest, before closing the portal that allowed him to see into the world of those stupid Transformers. He couldn't wake up anymore, because of that cursed Prime, but that didn't stop him from causing chaos. There were many ways to do it.

Starscream should never have died. It was a huge imbalance in the universe. A variant had intervened, leading to the unscheduled death of the Seeker. The chaos was already here, Unicron just had to intensify it! The God of Destruction smiled, then sneered:

"Good luck, Primus! You will really need it!"

In an entirely different Universe, the Decepticons and Autobots fought each other as usual, only this time the roles were reversed. Optimus Prime was the one who wanted to destroy everything, to be able to rebuild on his tyrannical ideal, while Megatron was the one who tried in vain to lead to balance.

Airachnid and Arcee were fighting, and the Techno-Organic had to dodge a blow from the motorbike's partner, Cliffjumper. The Triple-changer leapt onto a tree, before swinging her webs at the red car, immobilizing him.

Breakdown and Bulkhead were grappling with each other, before the green Wrecker landed a hard headbutt in the military car's jaw. The large blue robot stepped back, one hand over his mouth, before shouting:

“Argh! You fragger!"

The armored car retaliated with another blow, hitting him repeatedly, giving Breakdown no time to retaliate. Bulkhead was suddenly propelled away from the Decepticon by a missile hit directly into the chestplates! Starscream flew over the fight, before firing at the green Wrecker.

Wheeljack intervened, and took impulse on the back of Bulkhead, who cried out in indignation. The sports car drew his katanas, and jumped towards the Seeker, ready to strike him down with his swords!

The jet returned to his root mode, much to the white Wrecker's surprise. The flyer gained momentum from his jet engine, and landed a violent back kick right into Wheeljack's head!

The sports car was suddenly sent to the ground, and crashed hard into his teammate, who crashed with him into the ground. Breakdown looked up at Starscream, before smiling and giving a thumbs up. The Seeker smiled back, and responded to the ex-Wrecker's gesture.

It was then that the jet saw the sky begin to change color, its brilliant blue beginning to turn a sick purple. The flyer frowned in concern, and Megatron watched in shock, before seeing a portal forming not far from Starscream.

“Starscream, step aside! Now!" cried out the leader of the Decepticons.

He quickly pushed Optimus aside, who gasped in surprise, before falling to the ground. The large silver robot began to transform to get the Seeker, when portal's energy suddenly surrounded the jet.

The flyer widened his optics in surprise, and tried to resist, before being brutally pulled inside! Megatron reached out to Starscream, and their hands brushed, before the portal exploded! The explosion violently pushed back the ex-gladiator, who crashed against trees. The Decepticons watched in horror as the portal disappeared completely, having taken their friend away.

It had now been a week since Starscream had died… The funeral had taken place in utter silence and disarray, because even if Megatron didn't fully admit it, the Seeker's death was a huge loss. No more strategy, no more energon, and a weakened air force, as the Eradicons were no longer receiving adequate training.

The body of the jet had been burned, as Vos tradition demanded. It was sacrilege to bury the body of a Vossian, and although the leader of the Decepticons had never liked the flyer, he knew it would not be right.

On the day of the cremation, the Autobots had watched the ceremony from afar, and Optimus had been honestly surprised that the Decepticons bothered to hold a funeral. When the other members of his team left, after seeing that there was no attack, the Prime stayed.

He had finally come out of his hiding place, and put a flower sculpted in an energon crystal, on the wood black with ashes. He clasped his hands together, and closed his optics, wishing Starscream to find peace with Primus.

It had now been a week since Starscream had lost his friends, having been taken into this strange portal. No matter how hard he tried to communicate with his comrades, he never received the slightest answer… He was now afraid that something had happened to them.

He was also trying to figure out what this portal was, and how he could have avoided getting caught by it. Also, who created it? What purpose? Where had he taken him? The scenery around the Seeker was exactly the same, and yet he couldn't shake that weird feeling that he wasn't home...

The jet had hidden in a cave, where he knew there was energon, so he could survive until the Decepticons found him. He had to be extremely careful, because he could run into the Autobots at any moment. Being caught by these fraggers would undoubtedly be worse than death…

Starscream sighed sadly, wings lowered. He wanted so badly to go back to the base, find his friends… He even missed Agent Bishopp, and yet when he came it was only to yell at them because the Autobots had made scrap.

It was then that the Seeker heard heavy and familiar footsteps not far from his hideout. He raised his wings in surprise, and ventured to look outside. He couldn't help smiling when he noticed that his hearing hadn't betrayed him, and that it was indeed Megatron's footsteps that he heard!

The jet looked around, and activated his energon radar to be sure there were no Autobots around, before deciding to come out of hiding. The leader of the Decepticons had his back to him, working on a machine with KnockOut and Soundwave. Starscream decided to clap his hands for showing his presence, his wings high.

The ex-gladiator turned in surprise, as did Soundwave, who hadn't detected any Autobot signals. Everyone couldn't hide their surprise when they came face to face with Starscream!

The Seeker approached with a smile, and gave a slight wave. The others couldn't understand how the jet could come face to face with them, when they had burned his body. How was that even possible?!

Megatron couldn't help but think that Starscream had literally managed to defeat Death, even after being swept away by it. The Seeker quickly saw the surprised and confused look from the others, and it did not fail to disturb him.

The leader of the Decepticons was not the type to remain so stoic, however, especially after the disappearance of one of the members of his team for an entire week.

“How did you manage to come back?" asked the ex-gladiator.

The jet just shrugged, really not knowing how he had escaped from that strange portal. The flyer was now more and more confused, the others didn't necessarily seem happy to see him again… They were angry against him about something?

“I've known you more talkative." Megatron pointed out.

Starscream frowned in confusion, and his wings tightened in worry, as it seemed to him that he was facing complete strangers. The leader of the Decepticons sensed something was wrong with the Seeker, until he saw the jet's wings move, as if to sign something.

# You – know – can – not – speak #

Soundwave quickly recognized Vos's wing language, and motioned for Megatron to turn to him, so he could translate for him. The jet raised his wings in shock at this action. Normally his leader understood his language!

The ex-gladiator on his side didn't understand what Starscream meant, why was he pretending he couldn't speak?! What did that mean?! It was then that Megatron felt the anger welling up inside him, as the idea that an impostor had taken the place of his Second-in-Command. The leader of the Decepticons clenched his fists in anger, and shouted:

“You don't lack audacity! Miserable impostor!"

Optimus had recognized Primus' call, and he wasted no time answering it. The God of Cybertron slowly approached the Prime, in the form of a sphere of light.

“We are in darkest hours, Optimus.

- What's going on?

- An anomaly is in your Universe. A lost soul that Unicron brought back to upset the balance.

- …

- If nothing is done, your world itself is in danger of collapsing. The breach in the balance has already formed when Starscream died!

- What?!

- He should never have died. This is a variant that should never have been possible.

- … So Unicron just intensified this imbalance…

- Yes…

- …

- Help the lost soul to return home, Optimus. The future of your Universe depends on it!"

The ex-gladiator took out his sword, and got into a fighting position, under the surprised gaze of the Seeker. The jet dodged a blow from Megatron just in time, and backed away from the Decepticons in front of him, as they all drew their weapons.

Soundwave created a portal, and brought in Vehicons as reinforcements. Starscream frowned, and got into position to fight. He wasn't the impostor, it was them! What had they done with his friends?!

The Seeker scowled, and raised his wings confidently, before pulling out two swords from behind his back! The Vehicons began shooting at him, and the jet dodged the attacks with no problem. He activated his reactor, and rushed towards his enemies!

He decapitated one of the Vehicons, before kicking the chest of another. He dodged a blow from one of the soldiers, before swiping at him, and hitting him with his weapon, directly into the Spark.

The Vehicons were quickly taken down by the one who had taken the form of Starscream, and the Seeker wasted no time in turning on the other three. He glared deathly at Megatron, and indicated he was determined to fight. We don't attack him without risking the consequences!

The leader of the Decepticons, on the other hand, smiled with interest after this fake Starscream's show of force. He applauded the Seeker, who looked at him in confusion, never letting his guard down.

"Very impressive! Tell me, I see you have a Decepticon symbol. I still don't understand why you decided to take the form of my incapable Second-in-Command, but how about replacing him?!"

The jet shook his head vigorously, before signing with his wings:

# NO - ! – You – not – Megatron –! – Impostor –! #

Starscream fired a missile at the group, and took advantage of the diversion provided by the explosion to fly away from these counterfeits! What was happening?! Where was he?! Where had that damn portal taken him?! What had happened to his friends?!

The Seeker went to hide in a new cave, now unable to live in the old one… He was just lost… He had nowhere left to go… The jet sat down on the ground, back against the wall of the the cave, and brought his legs close to his chest, before wrapping his arms around them…

More time passed, and while Optimus searched desperately for that lost soul who unwillingly threatened the balance of their world, Starscream remained in hiding, avoiding any interaction with members of his species or humans.

The Seeker sometimes felt very bad, as if his body was torn from the inside… It became more and more difficult for him to search for energon, while his strength seemed to leave him little by little. His energy was being eaten away by something above him that he couldn't fight.

The jet raised his wings when he heard the sound of a nearby ground bridge, activated his energon radar, and detected the presence of Megatron and other Decepticons. They released exactly the same signal as his friends, it was impossible to understand!

He ventured to look outside, and couldn't hide his surprise when he saw another portal forming, and the Autobots coming out. Scrap! He was in a more worse situation than he thought! Starscream decided to stay in cover, not wanting to risk being seen by being too curious.

But, there was something that disturbed him greatly, and that was how the Autobots looked… well, not “nice”, but… different, and in a good way. Optimus didn't have that usual tyrannical look that seemed etched on his face. He seemed… calmer?

Starscream tightened his wings when he heard the sound of a shot that seemed to come closer and closer towards him. The Seeker barely had time to get out of the cave before the latter was blown up by a huge explosion!

The Decepticons and the Autobots couldn't hide their surprise when they saw Starscream in front of them, very much alive! Arcee frowned in confusion, and exclaimed:

"What the frag?!

- He's the impostor from the last time! KnockOut exclaimed.

- Catch him!" Megatron ordered.

The jet stood up quickly, and was about to draw his swords when he felt a sharp pain in his left arm! The flyer clutched his forearm in pain, as a strange energy began to surround him.

Starscream narrowly dodged an electric blast from Soundwave, before falling to the ground. When his left hand touched the ground, the grass instantly turned black. The ground cracked, before walls of dead earth formed around him.

Vehicons were propelled by the energy, which formed a huge explosion. The Autobots had to dodge huge crevasse, as well as sharp metal produced by the earth itself! Optimus quickly realized that he was the lost soul Primus had told him about, and he ordered his team to retrieve Starscream.

“For him to destroy our base with his power?! Arcee was indignant.

- What I don't understand, personally, is how he can still be alive! Bulkhead exclaimed.

- I'll explain! replied the Prime. The priority for the moment is to help him!

- Help him?! He's the one who is destroying everything now! Ratchet replied.

- He's not doing it on purpose!"

Bumblebee didn't stay in the discussion anymore, and rushed towards this strange Starscream. If Optimus was so keen on helping him, it was surely for a good reason.

The Seeker saw the Autobot scout coming, and gritted his teeth, before aiming his blaster at him! Bumblebee held up his hands, showing no signs of hostility, before beeping:

"We just want to help you!"

The jet couldn't hide his surprise when he saw that the talkative scout had a dysfunctional voice box. What could have happened to him?! The energy around him calmed down, as the pain slowly dissipated.

He then accepted the yellow car's outstretched hand, and the two raced through the Decepticon forces, who were still unsettled by Starscream's accidental attack.

Optimus called Raf to open a ground bridge for them, and the Autobots soon left the battle, followed closely by Starscream and Bumblebee. Megatron screamed in rage, and fired a cannon at the portal, but it closed before.

The Vehicons still alive struggled to their feet, helping each other, and dodging the huge crevasses the Seeker had formed. KnockOut approached the leader of the Decepticons, and asked:

"You think it's a Capacity?

- I don't know. But, I'm sure of one thing, and that's that I felt Unicron's energy in him." Megatron growled.

Ratchet checked on the condition of this returned Starscream from the dead, while Optimus explained the whole situation. All were surprised to learn that it was not the Starscream they knew, but one from another dimension.

The Seeker shared their surprise, but also realized it explained a lot. The Prime turned to him, the jet couldn't get used to the idea that it was a different Optimus than the one he knew. He also wasn't comfortable with Ratchet fixing him, because to him he was still the mad doctor who nearly killed Shockwave.

The Autobot leader saw Starscream's distrust, and he put himself in a calm and reassuring position, to indicate that he had no bad intentions. The Seeker seemed to relax a bit, but he still remained on his guard.

“You have nothing to fear from us, our objective is to bring you home." Optimus explained.

The jet's wings rose with interest, as the Prime continued:

“Primus explained to me that you were sent to our world by Unicron."

Starscream looked shocked and confused, not understanding why their Unicron wanted him to come here.

“He sought to unbalance our world, to destroy it from within."

Oh…! True! Everything is reversed! Their Unicron is necessarily not the same as his. As Primus is not the tyrannical, perfectionist God that the Primes fought in his world.

"I would like to know how Unicron brought him here!" Miko exclaimed.

Starscream turned to the Japanese girl, before answering her in the language of wings:

# Portal #

The girl had a really confused expression, before saying:

"What?!"

The Seeker had a slightly sulky expression, being a little fed up that no one understood him...

"So you came here through a portal?" Ratchet asked.

The jet's gaze lit up with joy, and he made several signs to the doctor, who kept nodding, under the confused gaze of the others.

"Uh… Translation please…? Smokescreen stammered.

- He's been here for two weeks. answered the ambulance. He explains to me that he has been feeling very bad for several days, as if he was losing energy. He also sometimes has pain in certain parts of his body. And it was after one of those pains that the ground literally tried to kill us.

- How did you manage to understand all that…? Bulkhead asked.

- I learned the language of the Vossian wings.

- What?

- Mind your own business. Anyway, there's another question I'm asking myself, which is why you can't speak. Did something happen to your voice box?"

Starscream shook his head, before signing:

# Deformation – Birth #

"Oh I see."

Arcee sighed slightly, then said:

“From what you explained to us, we urgently need to bring him home. If he ever has another seizure, it could kill him, not to mention destroy our world.

- Do you have a solution, Optimus?" Bumblebee asked, turning to their leader.

The Prime nodded, before heading off to the docs, and returning with the Forge of Solus Prime.

“We'll have to act quickly, before Unicron tries to intervene. said the leader of the Autobots.

- Do you think he will try something? Ratchet wondered.

- Not if Primus can hold him off, while I quickly build the bridge Starscream needs."

Unicron and Primus were facing each other, and the God of Chaos frowned, before growling:

"Move, you're in the way!

- There is no way that I let you perpetuate more chaos! replied the Master of the Order, frowning.

- I'm curious to see how you're going to stop me!"

Unicron smiled dangerously as energy swirled around him. He sent a violent discharge against his brother, before laughing:

"Let's see how your Prime is doing to handle this!"

Starscream felt searing pain hit his chest, and he curled into himself, wings high and tight, as purple energy began to surround him.

The others had a scared and worried expression, and Optimus quickly let go of the Forge, before rushing towards the Seeker. The ground around them began to crumble, large chunks of the roof suddenly disappearing, while huge gouges appeared on the walls.

The Prime gently grabbed the shoulders of the jet, which looked at him in panic. The Autobot leader put a hand on Starscream's chest, and gave him a reassuring and somewhat apologetic look, before saying:

“Sorry, that might hurt a little…”

The Seeker was suddenly propelled backwards by powerful blue energy, which knocked him off the medical table he was originally sitting on. Everyone was shocked by this action, and the world around them suddenly became stable again. Optimus helped the jet up, and asked:

"Are you OK?"

Starscream answered with an "OK" sign, and a slightly strained smile.

"Sorry…" the Prime apologized.

The Seeker shook his head, then signed:

# Thanks #

Primus gave Unicron a slightly smug look, his arms folded, while his brother clutched his arm in pain.

“My Prime is doing just fine, its nice to ask." smiled the God of Cybertron.

The bridge was finally ready, and Ratchet wasted no time in activating it, after wishing Starscream bon voyage. The Seeker greeted the Autobots with a gentle smile, before stepping through the portal that promised him a return home.

Megatron was devastated, it had been two weeks since Starscream had been missing… He first thought he was held by the Autobots, but when he infiltrated the Ark with Airachnid and Dreadwing, he found no track of the Seeker.

It was then that the group heard the sound of a nearby portal, and Soundwave checked the cameras, before rushing outside. The leader of the Decepticons went after his friend, not wanting the spy plane to fight anyone on his own.

The two arrived outside, and the tall silver robot couldn't hide his joy when he saw who was waiting for them outside. Megatron hugged Starscream, before exclaiming:

"In the name of Unicron! I was worried sick, where have you been all this time?!"

The Seeker released himself slightly from the embrace, then answered with a smile:

# Long – story #

“I have all the time to hear it." laughed the leader of the Decepticons, while inviting the jet to enter their base.

#tfp #transformers prime #starscream #transformers #maccadam #megatron #optimus #decepticons #autobots #crossover #shattered glass #major character death #tfp unicron #primus tfp #what if #request story #thanks for your request CTU ^^

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anakinsthot · 11 months

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Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @veloursdor, @mischievouschan4, and @lilredghost. Y'all probably forgot but I DID NOT. I've just been sad and mopey because I'm working when it's dark out with the time change and it's pitch black by the time I'm home, so I haven't gotten anything done!

How many works do you have on a03?

Ten

2. What’s your ao3 word count?

118,260!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Star Wars! And I don’t foresee that changing. When I first got into fanfic I wrote for Bleach, Final Fantasy VII (oh my god there were song fics, what the fuck), Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe (I had forgotten about that completely. Hopefully I forget again), and The Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Hey this feels like a war crime, actually. They’re all obikin except the first.

Lady of the Rocks, with 1,125 kudos… my Hobbit fic that hasn’t been touched in like 6 years.

Bitter Honey (BEE FIC, BEE FIC, BEE FIC!! Sits at 447 right now)

Anakin Skywalker, Witch (420, nice)

Living with the Present (402)

Tapio (128)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Although frequently very late. I got bad about it this summer because this summer sucked, emotionally. But I love it when authors respond to my comments so, as hard as it is for me to believe, I imagine that people enjoy when I respond to their comments and try my best to do it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them have an angsty ending. One of the Harry Potter fics was going to though. LOL.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Anakin Skywalker, Witch.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes… mostly pretty vanilla right now I think. I need to expand my writing comfort bubble.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t written any. Used to read a ton though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. It’s stressful enough trying to match my own writing voice haha.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Obikin, definitely!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My hobbit fic. I still get comment occasionally asking if I’ll finish it. My big thing with that fic was world-building and I’ve lost a lot of what I had. I WANT to work on it for the people that still enjoy it though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say probably dialogue, because I feel like I edit that the least, and world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

….actually writing the words down RIP. Also comma usage.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it, generally. I read too many fantasy books and fics back in the day where you had to flip to the glossary at the end of the book/bottom of the page for translations and it gets annoying, especially if there’s a multiple characters speaking.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Omg I had to look up my old ff.net account to check this. It was Bleach.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I want to immediately say Anakin Skywalker, Witch. It’s my first obikin fic, my first fanfic after a long hiatus. I’ve put so much work and research into it. But Tapio has a vibe that I really enjoy, and has managed to inspire that vibe in readers so… dark horse winner is Tapio.

Bonus: What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Probably that damn Hobbit fic. I didn’t have an editor back then so I shudder to think about what the comma situation is there.

I feel like I've seen most people do this game already! So I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you see this and have not been tagged yet/want to do it... this is me, tagging you.

#f u you microsoft word not keeping my formatting #see if i copy/paste a numbered list ever again #fic #tag game #mal writes #ahahahahah never want to look at my ff.net account again #obikin

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48787 · 5 months

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I keep misremembering singular words from setting wiki pages and then not realizing that i'm misremembering them until I've constructed labyrinthine head canons and large swaths of fan fiction under the mental pretense that what I was saying is grounded in actual canon. Worse, it also frequently is "canon" for something I haven't read through entirely yet so I don't want to look up too many details for and think that I'll be able to find more details on my weird little obsessions only to realize I literally made them entirely on my own.

All I will ever fucking have is what I fucking made up.

Even worse is the fact that I usually have all the discussions about shit like this with the people who wanted me to get into the media in the first place, and since it's singular word differences that have massive ramifications, they sometimes think what I'm saying is real too!!!

Which has a MASSIVE snowball effect where I assume they know more than me about this thing that doesn't exist so I assume there's more info on it that I can find later once I've read more, and they somehow believe me and talk about it like it exists even though it fucking doesn't and we both start constructing terribly intricate headcanons on the entirely false pretense that it's all real.

And then it fucking spreads. The web of deception grows. Its tendrils grasp at who knows how many from there.

Until I go to look it up again for one reason or another and go through the stages of "Oh, maybe I'm searching for it wrong" -> "Oh, maybe it just didn't get written down in the wiki" -> "Where is it?" -> "Oh my God, it never was real." and I have to sit with the fact that I have all this foundational setting shaping shit that only me and those in my fucking reality warping aura know about. I thought everyone knew about this. I thought I was the one who didn't know. I thought there would be more to learn.

All I will ever fucking have is what I fucking made up.

I truly live in a lucid dream within a tomb of treachery. You Are Being Deceived is all about the deceptions we allow ourselves to believe, and boy howdy am I being Deceived.

Fitting, because this time around it was the existence of the Matrix of Deception

At some point some wires got crossed between the Matrix of Conquest and the Matrix of Deception, I thought both were weird Shattered Glass things or perhaps one or the other was something brought up in a weird Transformers continuity that might have lasting ramification in the stuff I was reading... No, the Matrix of Deception never fucking existed.

I have So much lore surrounding the Matrixs (I am not calling them Matrices fuck off), I had assumed there were more than just those three, I had all these little theories about the thirteen primes...

And now they're not even theories. There are only two Matrixs, and they largely only exist in their own universes barring weird crossovers or SG invasions. My attempts to solve the mystery have warped into creating my own mystery to solve.

To my fucking credit, my wife is the main reason I bought into my own deception. She got me into Transformers and she is my primary motivating force to continue looking into it, and so when she thought it was real my descent was practically guaranteed.

But I'm entering the next inevitable stage, the "Did I Do That?" stage, with the haunting possibility that I made it the fuck up deliberately and then forgot that I did. The true horror begins. I may have posted HERE, on THIS VERY BLOG, about making it the fuck up. And I still managed to forget and then convince myself that it was real, at least in some continuity.

It's too late now. There is too much already. I just have to keep going.

I've learned that the Matrix of Conquest is sometimes called the Matrix of Chaos, which adds another Matrix to my list, if I'm already making shit up then I might as well split them into their own things. Might as well break the triune... I had to get 10 more anyway to make it to 13... even though not all of the 13 Prime's made a Matrix and instead made other shit.... Whatever.

I am in too deep. I need to start writing stuff down before I forget it, now that I'm once again the sole arbiter of this fucking nonexistent lore... I already was writing various fanfictions and had ttrpg shit planned... At least I no longer have the possibility of getting spoiled on it anymore!

#yippie peace through tyranny!!#matrix visions #Matrix of Deception save me #Save me Matrix of Deception #It literally birthed itself #It lit its own darkest hour.#It Deceived itself into existence #And. And. That is. So fucking perfect actually.#It's actually fucking radically Luciferian in the exact way I thought about it #No fucking wonder. I was the one who made it the fuck up I guess.#God fucking damn it.#triune posting #till all are one.#pretentious wannabe art student posting #I just. There's so much. It's all nonsense but it also is extremely relevant to my specific transformers worldview... aagghh #I fucking love deception #I really fucking did do the tyranny over my own mind like I wanted to. Yippie?? I guess??#Head in my hands I need to get back to writing

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jazzmckay · 6 months

Text

tagged by @broodsys for this writer questionnaire uvu ty, i got really into this one. the deep jazz lore incoming <3

tagging @lyriumlullaby-ao3, @inscrutable-shadow, and @skadizzleross

copy and paste-able question list at the bottom of the post!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

says 88, but one is anonymous lol 89 babey

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

824,682

3. What fandoms do you write for?

dragon age currently, prior to that, detroit: become human. some witcher and RWBY mixed in. teen wolf, dishonored, red vs blue, homestuck back in the day, a couple other things.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Truth in Melody (witcher, geraskier)

The World Upside Down (dbh gen)

left an impression on my heart (teen wolf, scott/stiles. its over a decade old i am not linking this lol)

Variable Outcome (dbh, connor & gavin gen)

Winter Chill and Summer Bloom (dbh, connor/gavin)

5. Do you respond to comments?

absolutely! if i don't, it's only because the person is being a jerk or just uncomfortable. give me a heart emoji, you're getting a heart emoji right back. boop

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i generally write happy endings, no matter how hellish the road to that happy endings is. i do, however, have a Bad End dbh oneshot. Fair Compensation. it's straight up non-con, and from aggressor pov, so viewer discretion is advised

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gosh idk how i could pick. as i said in the previous answer, i try to leave off on a high note. Truth in Melody or perhaps Promises to Keep. wouldn't say they're happier than others, but they're among my longest fics, which means the characters had to go through some bullshit to get those happy endings lmfao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

a couple times. more often, i get weird / uncomfortable comments that i just ignore

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! well, i'd say "kinky" tends to be a general theme ahahaha and feelsy! smut in my chaptered fics are more basic, the oneshots can be wild though. and then there's from the depths, an ancient song, where i wrote a foursome involving a LOT of tentacles. like a lot. so take that how you will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

ive dabbled in ideas, but rarely get around to actually writing them. i do like the concept of smashing my favourite universes together, though. my dbh vampire series is basically just the lore of vampire: the masquerade, but i wouldn't consider it a full crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have! and a couple additional requests, one that i denied, and another that i agreed to but no result yet! still hoping <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, for events. shout out to any of my buddies from the homestuck shipping olympics who see this :p can you BELIEVE how long it has been

roleplaying is also kinda like co-writing fics sometimes honestly. i've got some threads that have been ongoing for years and took a lot of plotting and planning together uvu

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

how dare u ask me this. this is nearly impossible aughh but i'm going to say corvo/daud from dishonored

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

basically anything from my favourite games and such that are nonetheless overshadowed by current hyperfixation. i'm forever sad that most of my many, many dishonored fic ideas were from a time when i chronically could not finish anything

16. What are your writing strengths?

i don't know, i'm bad at acknowledging good things about myself lol characterization, i suppose, that tends to be what i get the most lovely comments about <3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

fluff, unless it's the resolution to angst lmfao i need to build up to it. drop me straight into a nothing scenario of fluff and i don't know what to DO. technical-wise, idk, descriptions i think

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

it certainly has its place and can be done well! but it's easy to mess it up, too. you need to make sure it's accurate and fitting for the scene, you need to avoid racist stereotyping, you need the story to still make sense and flow well. if the message isn't clear because most readers don't know the language, or have to keep looking it up / reading author notes, that's immersion-breaking imo. with fictional languages where much of the fanbase is familiar with the common words, though, no big deal i'd say

19. First fandom you wrote for?

honestly i think it was the cartoon, angry beavers lol i didn't know what's what i was doing, at the time. as far as serious, intentional stories, maybe firefly? or xmen?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i cannot pick just one lol 4 is as low as ill go

previously linked Winter Chill and Summer Bloom: this is very hurt/comfort, my favourite thing, with a bunch of my other favourite things tossed in. touch-starvation, non-verbal character, characters getting away from the location of their suffering to heal in a better place, both physically and mentally, sweet slice of life stuff etc.

take these broken wings and learn to fly: more h/c! this one starts off heavy as hell and involves a lot of Process of Healing (to no ones surprise, at this point). healing has gotta be one of my favourite genders. also it's femslash.

Sight & Shadows: it's both plot- and character-driven, i'm happy with how i balanced both simultaneously. it's my vampire au, and other than the v:tm lore borrowing, it feels almost original to me. it's a rarepair, in an au--as niche as it gets, shaped a lot by the universe and story i put together for the whole series. it was a joy to create, because i truly did write this for ME. i wouldn't say any of my fics were written for others, per se, but i guess this one just felt different from the start. i wasn't anticipating an audience, i was just telling the story these characters needed, the way i like to do it. i had great friends supporting me through it, so i wasn't alone in the process or anything, it just felt the most like writing an original story than any of my other fics have

into the light of the dark black night: first of all, yes, 2/4 fics listed here are titled with lyrics from blackbird by the beatles. blackbird lyrics means intense feelings, that's just how it is. i've done it twice, and ill DO IT AGAIN. anyway, this one takes place in one of dbh's grimmest possible endings--the nuclear blast ending. i did a lot of research for this one, and also put a lot of thought into handling it with as much care as i think a concept like this requires. it's weighty, but hopeful. it has apocalypse elements, which i love. i got to do cyberpunky stuff as well. i added some of the elements i think dbh would have included if d@vid cage weren't a coward. i projected multiplicity onto some of the characters. i got to write north as the steadfast and successful leader of the revolution, as she deserves. blackbird fly <3

if you made it through all of that... thank you :>

and the template:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

#about #my fic #tag meme

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salsa-di-pomodoro · 2 years

Note

About the ingo-Arceus roadtrip!

LOVE the idea of them sometimes ending up in the wrong timelines. Could you maybe give some instances of this?

FUCK i didn't answer you huh

Well it's not quite right to say they end up in a wrong timeline if they're doing it on purpose. The thing is Arceus is doing the equivalent of the sprint for your life that one does when they turn off all the lights in the middle of the night and have to go back to bed except the danger Is not an imaginary monster but the sheer incomprehensibility (to Ingo) of the not-place they are in, and they have to find the nearest safest planet/timeline/dimension possible once Ingo communicates that he can't take it anymore in the void between timelines. Cause yeah Arceus' presence is gonna help him a lot in not losing himself again or dying by reminding him of what's real and sorta anchoring him to himself and them but that's not going to last forever. So really, they may end up anywhere that has an atmosphere similiar enough to that of the world of Pokémon, drinkable water and food compatibile with a human body. Within those criteria, anything is possible :)

I haven't thought of any specific places yet, but i do have The Vibes. Think of somewhere like rainworld, in the beginning. Obviously not exactly like that otherwise it would be a crossover but i'm thinking of something like that. The closer he gets to his own timeline and dimension, the more similiar the world, most of the time.

He may also end up further in the past of a different timeline, say, if whatever happened 3000-2500 years ago in the canon universe didn't happen (it's hard to tell what it was but everything happened in those years. I think there might have been a recession if they were able to do the thing AZ did with the weapon and then thousands of years later they were still in the 1800s.), the timeline would already have gone somewhere completely different. What if Ingo visited somewhere like that?

Maybe a different dimension also, where humans didn't evolve to be humans, but another species became something similiar? (it would be a Pokémon obv.) Somewhere with a biosphere different enough to have a different species thrive.

Towards the end i was thinking he first meets the (ultra? Gotta refresh my knowledge of the timelines) Sun & Moon protagonist in one of the more faraway ultra wormholes, but can't go back with them because he doesn't have the equipment necessary to go inside of a wormhole without consequences for the amount of time needed to go back home. (Arceus and Ingo have been traveling via distortions and rifts and such. I'll get back to that in another ask probably). (Ultra probably) Sun & Moon protag can't go back to this particular world because. Well have you tried to get past 10000 light years with the ultra warp ride its hard af. They're way past that. I can't imagine how hard it would be in-universe, even with years of experience. Also there's so many different dimension to choose from, they might not find the right one, just one similiar enough to believe it's the one, if they go back and try to bring an additional suit fitted for him. Also there is a reason they know it's the right universe, Arceus can tell from a specific signature in the soul/aura of a person. It's kind of difficult to recognize among all the different universes and such but when in front of someone it's far easier to compare the two and see they they're the same signature. Ingo asks the child to bring back a few trinkets and foods he brought from other worlds, bring them to Emmet. He may not remember him completely yet, but he thinks he would like them (he would), and wants to know that he's almost back. (There's a specific event i thought of, that would shake some memories loose. But this post is already long enough. Ask me about it if you want to know please :))

The very last place he goes to before getting home is a city few hundred years forward from his time. People recognize him, which surprises him. He doesn't wait too long to leave, just a couple days or three (he usually stays more time in order to recover from void travel. [Well it's a void to him but to Arceus it makes far more sense]. He doesn't want to know the future, especially his future. That's why he leaves so soon (along with just being hella impatient by now lol). This will have consequences [not too bad tho. Just a minor setback :)]), when ideally with the amount of travel he did this time he should have stayed about a week. Historians everywhere are extremely dismayed, but they weren't going to gain much out of him either way and they suspected that anyway so.

Ingo does not always have a great time (see rainworld-type worlds), but that's something Arceus can help with. Most times.

There are many more worlds they visit, and the roadtrip lasts months, but this is all i can write for now. I'm tired af lol

As always extras in the tags because i cannot shut up

Well shit i guess this is the post i should have made later now. I'll make another one going in depth where i didn't go in this one when i get another ask lol

Grr i wish i could draw i have so many cool ideas. Maybe i'll ask my friend. Or someone. Hmm

Reblogs are very encouraged and appreciated :)

#ingo does have his pokemon btw :)#pokeballs are very safe. even ones from the past #so arceus could let them come with :)#i havent decided on lady sneasler yet :/#emmet also may already know about Ingo's roadtrip when he gets Ingo's gift #not only did akari get back earlier than ingo did #the Event i mentioned earlier involves Emmet :)#i dont know in what order i want these to happen though. also i should make a name for this au but for now #ingo + arceus roadtrip au #ingo #warden ingo #subway boss ingo #submas #emmet #subway boss emmet #pokemon ultra sun and moon #pokemon usum #pokemon sm #idk which one of the sm protagonists i want it to be :/ you guys decide #OH I FORGOT TO SAY the last ultra space thing he visits is the ultramegalopolis :)#i need to think more about that place its so. cool #arceus #pokemon arceus #pokemon legends #pokemon legends arceus #imagine a bunch of worlds with things different in the same way the ultra megalopolis is different #pokemon elio #pokemon selene #pokemon sun #pokemon moon

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dangerpronebuddie · 9 months

Note

hi!! you said in tags on a recent post that they were foreshadowing something happening to eddie! could you pls tell me when you thought this, as i’m intrigued lol

Hello anon! 🥰

You're going to think I'm delulu by the end of this. If you don't already lol 😅

For starters, 9-1-1 loves playing the long game when it comes to foreshadowing. Eddie's shooting and the lead up to his breakdown started in his first episode.

I mean, we had "I've just done it while people are shooting at me is all" in 2x01 and "At least nobody's shooting at us" in the crossover. And! Eddie's insistence that the universe does not scream.

All the military related accidents and the entirety of the Shannon arc and 3x15 and... pretty much everything that happened to that poor man lead to his breakdown.

But the foreshadowing for what I thought was going to happen (which didn't 😕) started in 4x14 with none other than the legal guardian conversation.

I mentioned that I thought something was going to happen to Eddie and/or Chris. Like with the shooting, whatever that something is has been building for a few seasons.

Now, I love the legal guardian thing. There's so many layers to it, not to mention how they look at each other through the whole thing. It's a declaration of love. However! It's also a bad omen.

Eddie Diaz, Mr. Prove To Me Something Is Real And I'll Believe It, keeps jinxing himself. Even speaking the will into existence is a bad idea™. These writers don't normally bring something up and then forget about it. And I would say making your best friend the father of your child if you aren't there is a pretty big thing to just leave hanging!

Eddie didn't even plan on telling Buck about it until the shooting. He waited an entire year??? For something that important? In short, the writers included it for a purpose beyond an aborted love confession.

Anyhoo. That's sign one.

Season 5 we can put aside, because it was a whole other thing.

Season 6 was where the most foreshadowing came in. I think it all really started in 6x07. Even Eddie, by the like third(?) accident Felisha had, commented on the fact that he might be cursed. At the end of the episode, at the beach, he gets a call from Abuela. The framing of that shot (I really wish I could make gifs right now. Thankfully I found a set) shows Eddie in focus with Chris at the forefront. As Eddie asks "what does she say about my future?" in regards to Abuela's curandera, the focus shifts to Chris. To me, that meant something would happen to Eddie and have the guardian thing come up again.

Then, in 6x15, Eddie and Chris go to see Shannon (I thought that was really nice, btw, it was sweet). Then his mother is pestering him to come visit. He talks to her twice I believe (haven't rewatched that episode in a while, the cemetery scene haunts me 😅). Anyway, when he talks to her at the end of the episode, he says "we'll figure something out. Okay? We got time."

Refer to my earlier statement. Eddie keeps jinxing himself!

The entire episode, there was something ominous about it. The old lady, "we're all gonna die alone," Shannon, etc. It just felt... eerie, I suppose.

I expected the season 6 finale to satisfy the foreshadowing. I heard they rewrote the ending thanks to them not being sure if the show would be picked up by another network (THANK YOU ABC!) Anyway. Something tells me that the original plan was to severely hurt the fathers on the team. Chim, Bobby, and Eddie were all in serious danger.

The time jump at the end kinda sucked. To me, the finale felt a little... discombobulated. I think that maybe, even though 911 doesn't do this, they intended for season 6 to end on a cliffhanger. Any or all three of them could've still been in danger or clinging to life when the episode ended. It would've been more satisfying, honestly.

Anyway.

I just think they hinted a little too much at this. It could be that it just hasn't happened yet and there's still more foreshadowing to go. Maybe in season 7, Eddie could be missing and presumed dead or injured badly enough to have Buck step in for Chris (in a much more concrete parental role.)

#911 #eddie diaz #s6 #s7 #ask response #anon ask #i kept finding little details to keep piling on but I resisted!

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florrickandassociates · 2 years

Text

TGF Thoughts: 6x04 -- The End of Eli Gold

FINALLY I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THIS. I'm hoping the other episodes don't take me nearly as long to write about.

What an episode name. What an episode. This is probably one of my favorite episodes TGF has done! It’s amazing what actually focusing on the long histories between characters and using them to elevate the themes of the show can do!

OK TUMBLR IS BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING RIGHT NOW AND NOT LETTING ME MAKE A BULLETED LIST. Apologies for formatting.

We start off with a warning that the episode includes content that “may be sensitive to some viewers... especially viewers who are disturbed by exploding brain matter.” I have so many questions about how this came to be. It’s cheeky and gives off strong BrainDead vibes, but it’s also a serious content warning. So was it required but the Kings got to be silly about it? I never see content warnings other than, like, TV-MA SLV on streaming shows, there was no warning when Will died, and there were no warnings for the (frequent) head explosions in BrainDead, so why now? The tone of this warning feels very “we were forced to have this here but we compromised with the network and we at least get to be silly about it” (like the playful “Skip Intro” button on Evil). But part of me wonders if it was a creative choice to raise the stakes? I can’t imagine why you’d want to? But it obviously tells us that someone’s brain is getting blown out (or that we’re getting a BrainDead crossover), so the writers had to know that this warning would also be a spoiler... I just have a lot of questions okay!

I don’t love credits at the beginning because they deny me the feeling of, “wait, how are we getting to the credits NOW?” that I somehow get every episode even though I know the credits are always going to come after the 15 minute mark. I’ll forgive this episode.

We pick up where we left off—in the aftermath of the explosion in Dr. Bettencourt’s office. I know they’re mostly headed there eventually, but I am so glad this scene didn’t end with a kiss.

I did not pick up on it myself, but whoever noted that the explosion of the credits spills over into the scene (and that’s why the credits roll over the footage) is very right.

James Whitmore Jr. directed this one. His name isn’t a guarantee an episode is going to be eventful, but he IS one of the ones the writers trust with their eventful episodes. He directed Hitting the Fan.

The people in the elevator bickering about Fox News has me thinking of BrainDead, specifically the subplot with the actress who is now best known for playing Kendall’s ex-wife on Succession. (She’ll always be Stern’s daughter to me though.)

There’s more bickering about whether the protests are far left or far right, which is a premise I do not think the writers can sustain for very long. I get it, it’s thematic, but groups of people don’t just stay angry without (1) expressing why they are angry or (2) losing steam. We’ve gotta get somewhere with this. (I’d say the end of this episode gives a pretty definitive answer about who’s doing the protesting, unless it’s an endless cycle of protests and counterprotests.)

I think Eli’s presence makes the stakes feel a little higher in this episode. The evolution of The Good Wife into The Good Fight happened so gradually that I can accept that this bizarre surreal universe is Diane’s and Elsbeth’s... but there’s something truly eerie about seeing Eli, who had previously been untouched by all of this surreal stuff and in my mind still lives in the pre-Trump world, in the middle of it all, too.

I can believe the firm being close to the courthouse – that's just smart – but I don’t understand why Bettencourt’s office and the courthouse are so close together the car bomb would be felt in both places. Whatever. Connective tissue holding the episode together.

This episode jumps right in to Eli being on the stand, which is our first sign that this isn’t going to be yet another “let’s watch our faves be clever and maneuver their way out of bogus charges” episode.

Eli’s being accused of being the mastermind behind the “Democratic Watergate,” a fake thing that we’d never heard of before this moment. Based on everything that happens in this episode, seems like he’s guilty. Maybe not legally, since he’s too smart and shady for that, but he totally did it.

I love Eli lol

I also love Marissa’s “my dad is a lot and I love him so much” look when Eli makes a melodramatic scene on the stand

Opposing counsel does not take Marissa seriously and knows she’s only there so she can’t testify.

Hi Frank Landau.

Marissa instantly knows that Landau walking in is NOT good for Eli. I was going to give the lead lawyer the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he didn’t see Landau, but, no, he seems to just have bad instincts.

I love Eli and Marissa saying “fuck” in unison.

I’ll say this again (and again, and again) in this recap, but something this episode did that TGF has been missing is ACTUALLY LEAN INTO THE CHARACTERS. I’m already getting so much about Eli and Marissa’s dynamic (how they’re similar, different, where there are points of tension, how much they care about each other) and that’s making all of this land much better. I’ve seen the secret surprise witness plot a million times, but this episode makes it feel like I’m always watching Eli and Marissa first and the trial second.

Marissa corners her dad in the elevator because Marissa knows that Eli did it... and that she inadvertently helped. Marissa’s mostly mad because this was stupid and sloppy.

“I didn’t do this! Because there’s no proof I did this! So this argument is a massive waste of time.” So what I’m hearing is he totally did it.

Diane gets in the elevator with flowers and gives one to Eli and one to Marissa. Marissa notices a piece of glass in Diane’s hair; Diane calmly explains that a window exploded on her. She says she’s surprisingly well... I think she’s just drugged up and in shock. Eli and Marissa do too.

There’s a democratic fundraiser the following night and Ri’Chard wants to invite the associates. VIP Treatment vibes.

Diane, who is totally okay and not acting at all weird, is sitting in a partners’ meeting cradling a bouquet of flowers. Liz notices.

Ri’Chard can’t help himself: Liz tries to move on to the next agenda item, and this man hops out of his chair to ask why they’re attending a DEMOCRATIC fundraiser. Liz notes the DNC is a big client. Ri’Chard counters by suggesting they should support local black churches instead. One, religion at work is never going to go over easy. Two, why not both?

Ri’Chard is also moving across the whole room, forcing everyone to swivel their chairs (since he’s taken away the conference table) so they can’t focus on him and Liz at the same time.

Ri’Chard also then promises to do something that will mean more money for the equity partners (so, obviously, this goes over well with the audience of... equity partners). Liz wants this too, but doesn’t think it’s practical. Diane spins around on her chair and gives Liz a conspiratorial look.

All the partners start applauding Ri’Chard, except Diane, who continues silently communicating with her friend Liz. (See! Another little character moment in the middle of a larger plot!)

After the meeting, Ri’Chard accuses Liz of not liking his ideas and Liz is like, I actually just don’t like you making promises you can’t keep. Apparently the money’s not all there, even now that they’re doing super amazingly well. Ri’Chard thinks it is.

(Apparently people are quitting left and right. I’d note this for context on the firm’s status but we all know this won’t be mentioned again.)

Liz asks Ri’Chard to show her his plan before he announces it. He looks at her like he’s never considered that before. Wild. He blames this on his extroversion and says he can get a little carried away in front of people. Yes. That is what happened. That is why he announced his researched and highly appealing plan while commandeering the room: he just got carried away but didn’t intend to do any of that.

Ri’Chard ends this conversation with “Jesus is Lord,” to which Liz just says, “Oh, yes he is.” I love Liz.

“But you are not,” Liz whispers after Ri’Chard leaves. I love Liz even more.

Liz finally – FINALLY – asks Jay to look into Ri’Chard. You would think that (1) Liz would’ve asked Jay to do this on day one and (2) Jay would’ve been curious enough on his own to look into it. I mean, Jay is trying to figure out what happened with the car bomb, which doesn’t seem to have anything at all to do with him or his job. He’s just naturally curious... so wouldn’t he be curious about this random new name partner who just showed up one day?

Jay also suggests more security. I suggest, once again, that the firm allow people to work remotely.

Marissa is in maximum snark mode during the next legal strategy session.

Eli continues to say things that make it obvious he’s guilty, like that you talk about a lot of hypotheticals (“standard rat-fucking") and never do them... or you do, but through intermediaries.

Between being dragged into an actual crime and being mocked in court, Marissa is fed up. She storms out to go do her actual job (hey, remember when my recaps used to be like 75% complaining about how Maia didn’t ever do work?)

Eli goes after Marissa and asks what she wants. “You want me to take you on a father/daughter picnic, is that it? You want to go to Disneyland and get photos taken with mouse ears? This is who we are. If you’re in trouble, I help you. If I’m in trouble, you help me.” Harsh.

“We’re transactional,” Marissa rephrases his words. “Exactly. Always have been, always will,” Eli agrees. I think they both think they mean it right now. There’s obviously a component of this in their relationship, but it’s clear that they actually do care about each other and get along... but they’re so similar that they clash like this often.

Anyway, Marissa asks to be the one to cross-examine Landau in exchange for her not quitting the legal team/testifying against Eli.

Diane watches Dr. Bettencourt’s videos while drinking a glass of wine in bed. Seems like she really feels just fine after the explosion.

This quickly turns into Diane fantasizing about Dr. Bettencourt being in her bed. We all knew it was headed here.

Absolutely unfair that we are getting a Diane scene about masturbation and anxiety when my Alicia OTPs were Alicia + therapy and Alicia + vibrator.

The Diane/Kurt banter in this scene kind of makes me cringe but that also makes it feel a lot more real; I do not think most people are very profound when they’re horny

I have not recapped what is actually going on in this scene because it’s... bizarre!

Kurt gets a call from work. We know this because his phone says that “Work” is calling.

“We had nothing to do with that car bomb,” Kurt says, to Diane’s alarm. What’s he involved with that he even has to say that sentence!? (Answer: the NRA.)

Diane wakes Kurt up to tell him about her latest drug adventure. She says it’s for anxiety and he’s like, what anxiety? Diane references the world around her. What does he mean, what anxiety?! Though in his defense, I’m not sure “Diane struggles with anxiety” is the conclusion I would’ve come to from her actions, either – but it makes sense when I hear it. Also is he aware Diane had to dodge shattered glass when the car bomb went off? I truly can’t tell what the day to day of Diane and Kurt’s relationship is like, which makes it quite hard to have an opinion on if I think it’s a good thing (companionship when they need it, but otherwise they can be very independent) or a bad thing (what kind of relationship is this??)

Kurt is like, uh, have you considered finding a real doctor? Diane wonders why they’re even having this conversation. Kurt points out that she brought it up. This almost feels like Diane has already moved on without realizing it.

I think I’ve said this before, maybe even in the part of this recap I wrote a week ago, but my investment in Diane and Kurt plummeted after the whole Holly thing at the end of TGW. Not only does it ask me to believe that Kurt cheated (????), but the entire thing makes no sense and the resolution/reconciliation was hard to follow. At worst, Diane/Kurt’s relationship is confusing, and at best it’s sweet and lets me forget about all the weirdness. That’s still pretty shaky ground, even for someone who generally likes them together.

Liz at the gym! Liz is at the gym! She’s listening to a law podcast when she hears that Ri’Chard is doing some self-promotion. She inelegantly slips off the treadmill and heads up to work (this seems to be an office gym?). Two cops with riot gear and assault rifles join her in the elevator and their presence does not put her at ease. Their silence doesn’t, either.

Still in her workout clothes, she barges in on Ri’Chard’s prayer circle and glares at him. He introduces her as “Liz Reddick, daughter of Carl” and I would just love to know... is Carl Reddick’s name ruined or not? This remains unclear to me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Liz confronts Ri’Chard once they’re alone.

Ri’Chard apparently accidentally ended up on NPR. Doubtful.

Worse – he’s not talking about his own clients on this podcast. He's talking about the firm’s clients. He’s secured permission from everyone involved... except Liz. He’s also using his name instead of crediting the team, which he calls “good branding.” They are both right. And he’d have a lot more ground to stand on if he had, like, actually touched any of these cases. (I don’t understand why he is using the firm’s cases; surely he has his own?)

Ri’Chard starts telling Liz about how the firm has to update itself and Liz is just not impressed. And why would she be? Ri’Chard might be right about branding and needing an identity and a refresh – this is certainly not the first time it’s come up – but Ri’Chard doesn’t need to lecture Liz on this point like she’s too dumb to get it. Liz gets his point... he simply doesn’t want to understand hers. She’s asking for him to treat her like a partner and he’s responding with garbage about brands.

Liz raises her voice (though just a little bit, she’s letting her anger show but she’s very far from losing control here, which is a nice touch from Audra) and reminds Ri’Chard that the law firm is a “we” and not an “I” (there ain’t no I in team but you know there is a me!) (Sorry, I’m on a liiiiiittle bit of a TSwift kick right now...)

THE STARE LIZ GIVES RI’CHARD WHEN HE STARTS MAKING REFERENCES TO SHOW HE GETS IT.

“You have an idea, any idea. You want to scratch your ass? We talk, we discuss, we agree. And then you can move forward. Not before. You need to stop with this “better to ask forgiveness than permission” bullshit. Do you understand?” Ri’Chard nods. He might understand, but I’m not so sure he cares.

How much does this man spend on glasses? Somewhat relatedly, Ri’Chard’s extensive eyewear collection is really making me want to have more than one pair of glasses.

Ri’Chard invites Liz over for dinner so they can get to know each other. It’s not a bad idea.

To have dinner, they’re going to skip the DNC fundraiser.

Landau takes the stand.

“How the fuck would you know that?” Marissa snaps in court when her legal skills are called into question. Great line reading from Sarah here.

When Liz arrives at dinner, she ends up holding the gate open for a woman carrying a tray of pastries.

Ri’Chard’s house is chaotic and full of children. Also women. It is a little weird. Sorry, did I say a little? I meant extremely.

Liz ends up holding the tray of pastries, and a bunch of kids take sweets. All the adults tell Liz she shouldn’t be giving the kids so much sugar. She tries to stop the kids from taking more pastries, then gives up and is like, “you’re not my kids.” Hah.

One of the women refers to Liz as Ri’Chard’s “work wife” which is a phrase I fucking loathe. Liz seems to hate it – or at least this application of it – as much as I do.

“Is your house always this confusing?” Liz asks. Ri’Chard calls that phrasing diplomatic, and it really is.

Ri’Chard saying he has trouble ending things and would never divorce in a house full of children and at least three non-Liz adult women is EXTREMELY weird and it is not made any less weird by them greeting each other with “Jesus is Lord.”

I know it’s, like, obvious to say that Audra McDonald is really good at acting but I do need to stress that Audra McDonald is really good at acting. She’s playing the discomfort, shock, awkwardness, and growing comfort of being in someone else’s home really well.

Those Moral Matters posters at this DNC event might be the most GOP looking stock art I have ever seen??? Also this is the same ballroom where the fundraiser in VIP Treatment was.

Carmen gets to go to the DNC event because Carmen needs something to do so she can appear in the episode. Also, she seems to make the firm a fuckload of money so it makes sense she’d get an invite.

Julius (why is he even at a DNC event?) tries to snark to Carmen about how silly Dems are and Carmen just looks at him like she’s considering what he’s said but also surprised by it... and like she has no intention of responding. This immediately makes him feel awkward and he turns away from her.

Marissa’s there too, which doesn’t make sense in terms of her level at the firm but absolutely makes sense in terms of (1) all the partners love her and (2) her dad is Eli.

Carmen and Marissa exchange a glance that shows there’s still tension there. This is the exact kind of moment this show too often forgets to include between episodes with major plot development. This episode nails the little character moments. This episode feels lived-in and complete.

This “Hamilton Swings” act is an updated version of the stuff they parodied in 2x05 (of Wife!) and I fucking love it. Not so much the parody. I love the callback. I love that the writers almost certainly were like, that was so fun when we did it in 2010. Let’s do it again.

Bettencourt is also at the DNC fundraiser. Small world. Diane spills her drink when she sees him.

Diane’s dress in this episode looks a bit like her 2x05 dress, which I am sure was an intentional choice.

At the bar, where Diane is cleaning off her dress, Bettencourt appears. He’s spotted Diane, too. She’s worried he’ll judge her for drinking. He doesn’t.

She seems surprised when he remarks that he should’ve expected to run into her. Hmmm, now what about Diane Lockhart gives off rich liberal vibes? I wonder.

Marissa appears at the bar next to Diane. “God, is this boring!” she exclaims, not at all concerned that Diane, who is her boss, is in the middle of a conversation.

Marissa might be a little drunk. She greets Bettencourt, “Hello! Except I don’t know you, do I?”

“Diane and I bumped into each other on a trip,” Bettencourt says to explain how they met. I bet he’s used this line before, given his line of work. Diane spits out her drink at that.

Marissa leaves the bar to “stop my dad from killing someone,” a choice of words I’m sure she won’t regret.

Diane asks Bettencourt if he takes his own treatment since he’s always so calm. Then his wife – I assume, he puts his hand on her back – arrives and ruins the moment for Diane.

Eli and Landau argue at a DNC fundraiser, which is definitely a great look. But it won’t matter soon. Marissa tries to get Eli to stop, but Eli instead moves the conversation to the men’s room so Marissa won’t follow. Tbh I’m a little surprised she’d listen; Marissa does not seem like she’d give a shit about walking into the men’s room.

On my first watch, I thought this scene felt like 4x18, where Peter punches Kresteva in the bathroom. What happens here is much less fun.

And then someone enters the room and SHOOTS LANDAU IN THE HEAD THINKING HE IS ELI. He also says something anti-Semitic while he’s at it. I don’t remember what because I muted the scene looked away on rewatch because I found it quite upsetting.

Three things here. First, I’ve seen a few theories that Eli ordered the hit on Landau and it was staged to look like Eli was the target. To that, I say... y’all are watching a different show. The assassin says Eli’s name and something anti-Semitic to let the rest of the episode unfold as it does. It's not necessarily illogical like some are saying -- this guy very easily could have an accomplice who said “Eli just went into the bathroom” and pointed and the guy with the gun didn’t recognize Eli, and they both could’ve been too stupid to have him study photos beforehand. Also, very hard to watch the emotional fallout and consequences this has for Eli through the rest of the episode and then go back to this hunting for the biggest twist.

Second thing. It has taken me a while to get back to writing about this episode. Initially it was because I was busy, but now I’m avoiding it because it’s just TOUGH. When this aired, it felt a little too unsettling but like it belonged to a universe that was like ours but heightened... and now, with anti-Semitism in the news thanks to a certain rapper and the anniversary of the Tree of Life shooting tomorrow (I write this on 10/26), it’s just far too much for me to grapple with.

Final thing. I am so glad the writers chose to kill Landau instead of Eli. Killing Eli would’ve been upsetting, but honestly not that much more upsetting than the introduction of violence into a universe where violence doesn’t tend to hit close to home (even considering the protest stuff this season, the number of horrifyingly traumatic moments over the course of both serieses is, like, three? Will, Adrian in season 2, this?). Plus, seeing Eli covered in blood and brains is horribly upsetting. Not only that, but killing Eli would’ve made the point and then... what? Made the rest of the show about Marissa’s grief? Felt like a decision made for shock value? I don’t see what the writers would’ve gained after the initial shock. This way, Landau is familiar enough it feels unsettling – the man’s been a frequent presence in this universe for over a decade – but not so beloved (not at all beloved tbh) that it’s impossible to do other things with the plot from here. The Eli and Marissa scenes that follow after this point are some of the best material I’ve seen from this show in ages – maybe some of the best material this show’s ever done.

Liz and Ri’Chard are wrapping up their dinner when they get an active shooter alert. A very specific active shooter alert that says who the victim is? Weird. There’s a lockdown now, so Liz gets trapped at Ri’Chard’s. Shouldn’t they be calling all their employees and partners who are at the fundraiser!?

Ok made about 4 mins of progress on this then saw Eli covered in blood and now I have to stop again. I’m not generally squeamish about TV violence (I simply look away if I don’t want to see it) but I can’t handle this. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d been writing these during season five of TGW.

Now I’m thinking about Will.

Fuck, I’m not sure I'm ever going to find another show I care this much about. I don’t know that I want to. But let me tell you: nothing has even come close.

AND NOW I’M HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT THE SHOW ENDING.

Ok lol now it’s 10/30 and I’m trying to power through.

Marissa finds Eli sitting alone, in shock, covered in blood and brains. “Oh, it was so weird. I was right beside him. And this guy just came up behind us and said, ‘Die, you filthy Jew, Eli Gold.’ Eli Gold. He thought he was killing me.” “The world has gone crazy, Dad,” Marissa replies. “But Frank’s dead because of me. He’s not even Jewish. He's got three kids. And he’s, like, Presbyterian, something or other.” “I’m glad you’re alive, Dad,” is all Marissa can say to that.

“What am I doing with my life?” Eli starts to wonder. He’s on this train of thought because he’s realized people hate him to the point where they want to kill him. This may be true but that man doesn’t want to kill Eli for anything Eli’s done. Which is what Marissa tells him.

Eli doesn’t believe that, not fully. He’s thinking about all the bad things he’s done. I’ll come back to this when he talks to Diane, no use in saying the same thing twice.

“I’ve got to change my life. I’ve got to stop,” Eli frets. “I’ve got to... confess.” Marissa does not like that. And then the cops interrupt to get Eli’s statement. I’m a little surprised Eli was able to get away. Isn’t every attendee being forced to stay where they are?

Liz and Ri’Chard are now sitting on the floor drinking. I get that this conveys that the vibe is now relaxed and casual, but also, floors are not comfortable to sit on and sofas are. Liz finally works up the confidence to ask Ri’Chard which of the women floating around the house is his wife. Turns out he’s not married to any of them; his wife is dead. The women are her sister, her friend, his friend, and a college dropout.

He says he “collects female energy” which is maybe the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. But for those of us who lived through the days of “male energy” and how we had to have Finn Polmar on the show to fill the void of “male energy” left by Will... it’s pretty nice to hear that “female energy” also exists.

“Watch out. Women have dinner here and never leave,” he jokes to Liz. Uh.

Liz turns the conversation to work; asks why Ri’Chard is in this. He wants “power, respect, and independence.” This is where my being several episodes ahead changes my take, because you KNOW the first time through this episode, I was like, “how can you be independent when STR Laurie owns you?!”

He flips the question around to Liz, but doesn’t let her answer, instead guessing that she’s in it for her father’s legacy. Liz says no; she always wanted to be the opposite of her father (and it was here I started to realize there’s a father-daughter throughline in this episode; again, this episode is very well done). This does not explain how Liz came to be running her father’s firm, but of course we know how that happened – she was pushed out at the DOJ and needed a place to land, and then inertia took over.

“That’s what makes you hot!” Ri’Chard says, and Liz just laughs and points to this as an example of Ri’Chard having no idea when to stop. It is a very good example of Ri’Chard not knowing when to stop; that’s not the vibe here and so it feels weird when he makes it the vibe.

Ri’Chard then segues into a story about when he was just starting out and a firm made a laughing stock out of him for being dressed the wrong way. And then Ri’Chard remade his image and got stronger.

$900 on wine. Still amazes me that people actually drink $900 wine. I had a bottle of $25 wine last night and felt fancy.

The all-clear goes out and Liz heads home. I hope she’s not driving...? They’ve been drinking a lot.

Diane’s home, still in her party clothes. Kurt’s comforting her. “Nothing seems real right now,” she remarks as she watches the news. Diane starts talking about the “connection between love and death” inspired by a conversation with Bettencourt (which we annoyingly have to get silent flashbacks of). This leads to Diane making a reference to a piece of art and Kurt not getting it, and then Diane realizing he doesn’t get her references. Kurt handles this well: “Diane, I think you’re asking me questions that you know I don’t know the answer to. And I’m not sure why. I’m not here for a literature test. I’m here because I love you. You know who I am. You know what I’m good at. What I care about.” Very fair. If Diane wants someone who understands all her references, Kurt will never be that person, and it’s not fair to Kurt for Diane to hold that against him. She can say his political beliefs are too much or that she’s realized she wants something different, but she can’t just wish Kurt was a different person and expect him to change.

She then asks Kurt if he loves her, which is so weird??? He says yes, she smiles, they kiss.

“Have I passed the test?” he asks. Diane says yes, but it seems like this is going to keep coming back.

In court the next day, opposing counsel is quick to suggest Eli had Landau killed to get himself off the hook. Yeah, no. “Excuse me, what the fuck?!” is Marissa’s response. Despite her passions, the judge rules that she has to testify.

Ri’Chard and Liz solve the problem of the equity partners not getting the money they’re entitled to by giving up some of their bonuses. HANG ON. THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS SOLUTION. WHY WAS LIZ COLLECTING A BONUS WHEN HER PARTNERS WEREN’T GETTING THEIR MONEY? And why is Ri’Chard getting a bonus he’s been there like 2 seconds where did the money for that come from?

Also, am I meant to believe Liz had any hand in this idea or not? If I am supposed to believe Liz as a manager I do need to see that she’s making progress on this front, because it feels to me like Ri’Chard came in, was correct, won Liz over, and won the battle but gave her credit. I’m missing the “teamwork” scene from this narrative.

If there are burning cars and massive protests in the street, and the lobby is blocked off, WHY HAS THIS OFFICE NOT YET SENT EVERYONE HOME?

Turns out that the lawyer who humiliated Ri’Chard is Liz’s dad. Obviously. So are we in Do Revenge now?

Liz is looking at a picture of her dad when Marissa knocks on her door and asks if she has a minute. You know it’s serious because this is the first time Marissa’s ever asked for permission for anything. Liz tries to push it off til tomorrow; Marissa explains the urgency.

What Marissa wants from Liz isn’t really advice – it's to know about her relationship with her dad. I fucking love that they’re drawing this parallel and exploring this topic. Even though what Liz’s dad did and what Eli did are very different types of crimes, the situations Liz and Marissa are in because of their fathers’ actions are similar, and I love that the show acknowledges this and gives it a moment. They very easily could’ve had Marissa’s plot exist in a vacuum; instead, they tie it to a loose end from season 3. Really smart, character-focused writing.

Marissa specifically wants to know if Liz ever opened the folder of evidence against her father that Marissa compiled back in s3. Liz is hesitant to answer at first, wondering how this will help Marissa. Marissa isn’t sure, and that’s enough for Liz to decide to open up: she did not ever look at the file. Marissa takes that in.

At the office, Eli stares out the window watching the protests. “You look lost,” Diane comments when she sees him.

Diane asks if Eli has any protection. He does, for a few days. “It feels weird. I’m a mechanic. I’m not a public figure,” Eli notes. “We’re all public figures now,” Diane says. I’m not sure what’s making her say this oh wait actually yes she has plenty of evidence to say this now I’m remembering Mr. Elk and the Diane/Liz love affair rumors from last season.

Diane pours Eli a drink. “Was there a better time, or has it always been like this?” Eli asks. “I don’t know. Whenever I’m smack-dab in the middle of the time, I always think it’s the worst time, and then five years later, I think, ‘huh, that was a pretty good time.’” Eek.

“I fell apart today,” Eli confesses. “Well, that makes sense. A person was murdered right beside you,” Diane responds. “And they thought they were murdering me,” Eli continues. “Yeah, so how could you not fall apart?”

“I’ve been wondering how much I’ve been contributing to all this. Turning the opposition into the enemy, turning the enemy into psychopaths...” Eli wonders. I would say maybe he’s played some role, but I don’t think he’s the problem here. Neither does Diane.

“How do we get out of this? They’re shouting, so do we just shout louder?” Eli wonders. “I don’t know, but if we don’t shout back, they’ll win,” says Diane, who’s been blissfully walking through protests carrying flowers all season.

Diane suggests that Eli finish his drink, pull himself together, and “go out there and kick some ass.” She does not seem at all concerned by the fact he’s done something illegal, which to me is the most interesting part about this scene. But before I get there...

“This country is worth fighting for; it always was. And our enemies want to stop voting from happening. That’s not just galling, that’s the end of America. And we can’t let that happen.” okay that’s all well and good Diane but do you not remember when you yourself tried to rig an election, or the time when you yourself defended Eli for rigging an election?

“Where do you find your optimism?” Eli wonders. “In a hallucinogenic drug called PT-108,” Diane responds. I love it. Eli thinks she’s joking.

“Eli, I need you to fight the good fight,” Diane says, SAYING THE SHOW TITLE ON THE SHOW!!!!!

“I need to know that there is someone out there who can quarterback the game. Because I know our politicians aren’t up to it. It has to be you. The person behind the scene. I’m sorry, if you want me to contribute to your bodyguards, I will, but you have to get back in the fight.” This is a very good pep talk for someone like Eli. It’s also fascinating to me. No one is talking about the illegal thing Eli did. No one seems to care. It was in the pursuit of a goal they all shared and so it’s understandable; everyone’s only furious that it got discovered or that it implicated them personally. No one is really mad about what happened. Eli almost certainly arranged the hacking of a major media outlet, and everyone’s just cool with it. What does that say about our times, about good, about morality, and about how deep this conflict runs?

Marissa listens in on this conversation and decides that Diane’s right.

Dr. Bettencourt isn’t at his office the next day; the woman he was with is Diane’s doctor for the day instead. She is not happy about it. The way she says “no” when she’s offered cucumber water has so much sadness and pettiness in it.

Marissa dances around the truth on the stand. She makes Eli out to be a bumbling old man, unable to figure out the internet. Eli, who knew how to find Becca-the-Twitter-Troll in early 2010. Sure. I feel like you could very easily poke a hole in Marissa’s testimony. (She says she hasn’t helped Eli “use” the software in question, which is true. She just got him a copy.)

Marissa takes a little bit of a victory lap on the stand, drawing a parallel between Landau jumping to conclusions about Marissa colluding with Eli for the hack and opposing counsel jumping to conclusions about Marissa’s spot on the legal team. Marissa is only on the legal team because of a failed attempt to keep her from testifying, but that doesn’t really matter.

So if these protesters are just chanting anti-Semitic shit... can we stop pretending that there are protesters on both sides? Like, I suppose they could still want me to believe this is like a war of protesters, but this is preeeeeeetty clearly coming from one side.

Eli decides to head to DC right away and jump back into work. Marissa asks him to stay another night and have dinner; he says no and jokes they might shoot her, thinking she’s Eli. LOL, dark.

Gotta say, watching this scene slowly play out the first time with the chanting in the background sent my stress levels through the roof. I was like, THERE’S STILL TIME TO KILL OFF ELI YET.

Eli says that Marissa’s mom had to talk him into having a kid. Marissa already knew that. “I’m glad she did,” Eli says. “You’re my greatest achievement,” he adds.

Eli never really got an ending on TGW, so to see him getting one that feels so final – all this talk about goodbye, the car driving away – makes me really emotional.

Speaking of emotional, watching Marissa recite a prayer as Eli drives away REALLY got to me. After so many years, I feel so connected to these characters. Even in this heightened, surreal universe, this moment felt real. It made me feel how far we’ve come from the biggest problem in Marissa’s life being that her dad wants to date a grad student to here. It made the stakes feel higher for the whole rest of the season while also giving some finality (for the viewers, hopefully not for Marissa!) to the Eli/Marissa relationship. There weren’t many TGW cameos I needed on TGW (depending on how it goes, I might be actively mad if the last two episodes have Alicia – my friends who have had the misfortune of reminding me about Ghost Will on TGW know that I’m still mad enough about that I will send them a 30-message long rant about that choice) but Eli was one of the few that I hoped to see eventually because of his ties to Marissa. Having Eli back for 2 episodes – 1 for fun and 1 for something serious – really, really worked for the show.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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honeybeewhereartthee · 2 years

Text

MDD MINI CORNER CROSSOVER PT 2 : another story

Your walking the hallway of ES holding a bouquet of sewn stuff toy flowers, today the live of Believe for leaves is very successful and your going to give flowers to Mayoi as a celebration.

As you passed by the hallway, it was kinda off when you felt like the whole place is kinda ... Different??

But nothing less you follow through your destination and saw Alkaloid in their usual spot. At that very moment you saw how they look at you.

They seems very alarm and start whispering and poking Mayoi about this and that which cause the latter to blush and shhh them.

"Mayoi ~" you of course think they are regularly weird sometimes, which makes everyone unique. You skip toward them with a sweet smile. They all taken a back. Now that's even more weird

"y-yes..?!" Mayoi quickly approaches you as Aira push him to do so with a very fearful face as if they all see a face of a devil.

What the fuck...? You look around and see no eichi and question why they all look that way.

"congrats on the success of your live." You of course ignore the gaze yet again and give the clover flowers, three roses and lavender to Mayoi all sewn by you for week.

"h-huh...?! I-is this for me...?! Y-you sure...?!" He blush so red but also have a fearful look, debating if he should be happy or should be scared.

You once again look around if you see any eichi but see no eichi.

Maybe Ibara ? You look again and saw no ibara.

The fuck are they looking like they saw a brethren of those two then ?

"of course ~" you nodded your head, once again ignoring how they look right now. "I made those for you." You added

"Why...?" He cried as if not believing as he held the bouquet of flowers tightly in his arms.

He felt so happy that you finally giving him attention after so many times he tried to gain it, even his friends help him out...yet ... He felt so weird. When he finally did. He felt it's too unreal, your too unreal.

"because Mayoi is my precious person." You giggle which cause him to become a bashful mess and the three gasp (more like aira looking like surprised Pikachu)

"I would do such effort because I love you." You always says this to mayoi with full honesty.

"!!!???" He almost drop the flowers and Aira almost scream like fucking speaker and faint to Tatsumi hands.

"MC!!!" You heard someone calling you from behind before someone tap your shoulder and as unconscious response to the familiar person. Rei. You flip him over your shoulder. " I was busy, don't bother me right now." Your eyes glow red but no one notice it so.

"????!!!!!" Mayoi shriek in fear when you just throw someone over your shoulder just now. He don't know someone fragile like you would able to do that!

"a-are you ok?" He ask you, not the groaning old man in the floor.

"of course~ ehehe." You giggle happy to the attention mayoi giving you.

"ah.. no one gonna ask this old man feeling if I'm ok...?" Rei mumble groaning in the floor.

"shut up bug." You mumble still possess by Shadow ritsu. At that moment Rei almost see ritsu in your place. Which is weird because he just bother ritsu just now and he clearly flip him off.

"M-MC..." Mayoi gasp how your so rude to Rei right now. he can't help but blush looking closely at your face...! Oh wait he just call you by your name! He dearly hope you won't mind! ' he thought.

"..." Suddenly you realize something when Ritsu stop possessing you. Rei don't felt like a darling doll.

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit.

You start to curse in your head when it all click.

Ah shit why are you in different alternative universe???

"M-MC what's wrong...?" Mayoi ask you so worriedly. Are you angry him calling your name like that? Ahhhh?! What to do?! He start to panic... What if what if .. your going to ignore him again...?! What if he only able to admire you from a far again... . Tears start to build up in his eyes as he look so panic and worry all over again. He suddenly can't feel like standing as he now in his knees crying.

"mayoi..! Don't cry! Please don't cry!" You unconsciously reach out to wipe his tears. He keep crying thinking your only did so because you pity him. He felt so devastated, he fainted.

"...what the." You question how emotional the Mayoi here but you already pick him up like a groom do to a bride before hiiro can offer a help.

At that moment hiiro can clearly see that your very strong. He wish he can match you later!

"I'll bring him to clinic!" You said as you run. Tatsumi just wave you off, thinking his friend finally get his chance indeed. He can't help but thank God. "Amen." He mumble.

...

You look through your phone.. well at least the phone of you in this world. You realize that this world don't have darling dolls (how tragic) and your a producer in this world..

You handle the Undead. you and Rei are particularly close to the point there's a rumour you two might be dating but seeing that all the messages you got is how he is asking how to make ritsu love him again over and over again in your phone. You doubt about it. Rei shamelessly ship you with ritsu so if you two can get married he will have to younger sibling that will call him 'oniichan' which made ritsu and you to flip him off in his weird ass fantasy.

"one day huh." That's how long the last time something like this happened. Through you wonder how your other self that seems to be fear by Alkaloid to handle the place back home.

"ahm. What's this folder." You snoop through your other self phone and saw a locked folder and think what password they will have for it. You tried your birthday and it don't work, you tried your address number but It don't work. You tried Mayoi name and birthday and it work

"........ Lol" you sneakers as you open the file containing download pictures of Mayoi from social media, screenshot of mayoi post in twitter and such. There's even an long SS of a fanfic. "Holy... What the--" you read through the fanfic an realize it's smut. Your face turn bright red as you read through the fanfic.

"oh gott..." You cannot believe the taste of your other self and quickly swipe off the SS of the fanfic to see an even worse SS of another fanfic. "Ah gosh." You blush even redder. You don't know how to look your Mayoi in the eye right now after reading those.

"....hmm?" You look up from your phone and realized Mayoi of this world finally waking up. You just realize at that moment, your other self probably have a secret crush toward Mayoi yet unable to do anything. They have a planner for the day and they wish to try to confess today and rei would bail them out if they failed to even say a word, to not embarrassed theirself.

"I love you " you smile as you will help your other self. "H-huh...?! R-really?!" He gasp. He felt he just awaken to a wonderful dream! He don't want to wake up...!

"will you go out with [ me ] ?" You ask him and he blush even more. "Y-you sure...?!" He can't help but gulp, oh his dreams are coming true!

"hmm." Your other self would love too of course. At that moment you suddenly realize, your slowly exchanging place with your other self as he takes a deep breath and when your finally exchange completely to the real MC of this world...

" I- I love you too!" He says. "I like you so so much! I always wanted to be notice by you! Thank you for noticing insignificant and subhuman like me!" He cried

"......." The you of this world suddenly pulled his braid and kiss him. He suddenly become mute as he felt his in cloud nine.

"I love you too stupid. Hmmp." You mumble, maybe that Mayoi is right, you just have to be at least be true to your feelings to the person you love.

...

Back to MDD AU

"*yawn." You look at Mayoi who's across you, eating grapes. He look at you and smile at you. " Welcome back." He mumble, he knows it wasn't you from the first time he sees a tsundere MC that made everyone laugh their ass off in the floor because you keep denying shit and trying to act tough cookie. When you can't even do simple things like smacking Rinne in the face when his being so shameless and annoying like you usually do cause you fear rinne so suddenly.

He would gone mad but be realize the tsundere MC is harmless and it's in a very bashful mess when he hugs them out of the blue and saying his degenerate love for you.

As he tells you what happened, you laugh your ass off as you remember that tsundere MC have a degenerate dead doves fanfic in their phone.

"..it was so weird when alkaloid of that world looking at me like I'm eichi or ibara. I felt so insulated." You mumble as you take some grapes.

"sorry." He felt he need to apologize for the alkaloid of that world.

" lol I was just kidding." You mumble. "I hope this multiverse shit isn't gonna end up as a trouble for daily life for the future." You mumble as you stood up as you saw Rinne and give him a punch in the face.

"YOU THINK I WILL LET YOU BOOLY ME? DIVORCE PAPERS NOW!"

"ohohoho?!SO MC IS BACK TO NORMAL HUH. and here I was going to enjoying boolying you." He sneakers before you two began a mortal combat in the kitchen before you get smacked in the head by Niki when you just accidentally smack the food off his hand.

...

🪷 Tag List: @valeriele3 @emikoisdead @allimili

#ensemble stars #ensemble stars x reader #enstar x reader #mayoi ayase x reader #MDD MINI CORNER CROSSOVER #rinne amagi #rei Sakuma

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bagheerita · 3 months

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Twenty Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @lord-aldhelm and @anonmadsci and @chaniis-atlantis !! 💖💖💖

1. how many works do you have on AO3? Currently 93. I've finished transferring (almost) all of my old fics from FFN and AFF (for archival purposes, as most of them are not very good)

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 1,678,494

3. what fandoms do you write for? Formerly, 28 fandoms listed on A03. Currently, Stargate Atlantis (though I'm hoping to get some of my SGU ideas wrangled into actual fics soon)

4. top five fics by kudos: "Nemo" (SGA) "Nykteridalatry" (SGA) "One and One and One is Three" (MCU) "Regina Donum" (SGA) and "Written in Your Skin" (SGA) has (I believe recently) edged out "Your Prison is Walking Through this World all Alone" (MCU) for 5th ❤

5. do you respond to comments? Oh yeah! I've had some great comment conversations especially on "Nemo" and the earlier fics in that series, and I still try to reply to all comments.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Gonna say "Lie Still" (Angel/BTVS). It deals with a canon character death, sort of me exploring why I felt like this ending fit the character, though it's so personal to my own feelings that I feel like it's difficult for other readers to parse.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? This is difficult to say, as I much prefer to write happy endings so there are many!! I might say "Harbored" or "A Dram of Sweet is Worth a Pound of Sorrow" (both SGA), as they both deal with the main character overcoming painful histories to find happiness.

8. do you get hate on fics? Nothing I would call hate, though sometimes I get odd comments.

9. do you write smut? Lots.

10. craziest crossover? I adore crossovers. I'm gonna interpret this question slightly differently than I have in the past and say "One and One and One is Three" (MCU). Technically this isn't a "crossover" in the sense of different properties, but in the sense of the multiverse and 5 universes of people running around and seeing what their-self is up to in another universe.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but technically Eos and I are co-authors on "Aubade," as she contributed gorgeous illustrations!!

14. all time favorite ship? I have so many fandoms and characters I love that I tend to ship whatever characters' vibes works for me in that moment. Recently, I do tend toward vaguely evil/unbelievable snark as a ship dynamic, which has manifested in me writing over 100,000 words each for inussess, frostiron, and jodd

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? At the moment I'm fighting the pull of garashir. I do NOT need to get pulled into another fandom, especially one where I need to learn a whole new writing vocabulary that I haven't been paying that much attention to as I (re)watch the show. But I have a very specific vibe I'm searching for that I want to read and I haven't found a fic to fill that vibe yet, so I've opened a Gdoc to store some notes, and so I guess it counts as a WIP though I want it to exist as much as I do not want to write it.

16. what are your writing strengths? I haven't been writing much lately so at the moment I'm not really feeling that I'm good at anything lol.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? currently I'm gonna go with summer. it's too hot and i have no energy.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? Do whatever makes you happy, but if I needed to know what that said for the plot you better provide a translation.

19. first fandom you wrote in? OT Star Wars

20. favorite fic you've written? Whew, this one is hard to answer. My favorite moments that I envisioned in my head tend to not end up translating as well as I want them to onto the page, but "With Autumn Closing In" (MCU), "Oh Talk Not to Me Of a Name Great in Story" (SGA), and "Ivory Fanged" (Kiesha'ra) are probably some of my favorites.

Edit: was tired and forgot to tag people so @_yournamehere_ if you want to participate ❤

#tag game #my writing

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piccolina-mina · 4 years

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The entire One Chicago franchise is a mess when it comes to the romantic components of the series. But Chicago PD continues to be the most uninspired, boring, and redundant mess when it comes to their romantic ships and how they display them.

It's as if someone holds a gun to their head and says "let's choose the most basic, young, white heteronormative relationships and smack a cutesy name on them. Fandom will eat it up!" And without fail, fandom always does.

It's bad enough that half the Intelligence Unit thinks they can only date or sleep with each other. It's also bad enough that it further contributes to Chicago PD's ongoing issue with rarely knowing what to do with its female characters beyond specific plots I've come to call the "traditionally feminine womanly plots" and tying them in with a male character where everything about them hinges on their connection to a male. And also that "there can only be one" issue where only one of the female characters can serve as the primary one while the others duke it out for screentime, plot, and relevancy (congrats on always winning Lindsay and Hailey).

But they recycle the same things ad nauseum. For eight seasons, they would rather devote all of their time cooking up romantic subplots that exclusively feature a constant rotation of Ruzek and Halstead. I get it, they're attractive, hell, I'm no stranger to thirsting over Ruz myself, but they're the lotharios of the unit as if only they can be desirable, and it's gotten so old. My God.

They would rather give us these two involved with mostly young and white women, especially their squad mates, then devote screentime to literally any alternative couple.

I mean they have SHARED a love interest. Why? The only ships they have ever devoted significant screentime or development to: Halstead and Erin, Halstead and Upton, Ruzek and Burgess, Ruzek and Upton, Burgess and Roman. Qwhite shocking, I know.

Trudy and Mouch have one of the sweetest crossover romances from the franchise, and it's so refreshing to see a middle-aged couple find love, and yet, they've all but cooled off showing them, rarely give that ship screentime, and it tends to stay in the peripheral compared to the big ships.

Dawson had a romance with Brett from Chicago Fire (another character who gets passed around to the point of absurdity), but they did very little with it, and most of THAT even took place on CF.

They gave Dawson something troubling with another law enforcement officer or whatever for like a single episode, but hell, they still devoted more time and actual arcs to the two or three times where they put Halsted in similar relationships because of course they did.

Never forget that the first relationship that dates pre-series was Chicago Fire's Gabby with *spins wheel* you guessed it, Jay Halstead.

And of course there was Erin and Severide. So pretty. So ... basic.

Yet they never attempted to give us more of Dawson and his wife or Olinsky and his. The women were barely characters on the series. It would've been something.

I don't mind Burzek. Out of all the ships, I enjoy them most more often than not, but it has been eight seasons of will they/won't they bullcrap that they've drawn out. All of these ups and downs. The one non-cop related romance Burgess had lasted all of a second and ended in tragedy because heaven forbid they DON'T put that woman through endless pain.

But they've always remained the second place ship of the series, and it's just... enough. Meanwhile, we started the series with Erin and Halstead monopolizing screentime with their romantic situationship drama, and instead of giving it a rest and changing things up when she left, they switched it out with the Halstead and Hailey will they/won't they. Why?

Heaven forbid Halstead or Ruzek don't have a piece of ass.

Ruzek was even Trudy's choice for a relationship ruse to dupe her father.

In the meantime, one of the most outlandish and unrealistic parts of this series is that Kevin Atwater-- young, smart, just as hot as Chicago PD's golden, pretty, white boys hasn't had a real, significant romantic storyline in the eight years this series has been on air.

In what universe does that make sense? Single, eligible, employed, decent black man? Da faq?

Pardon my bluntness but Kevin Atwater should be seeing more ass than a toilet seat. The fact that he isn't batting folks off with a stick is ludicrous.

He had ONE fkd up romantic storyline in his one "very special black Kevin" episode in season SIX and that's it. Pardon me? Do you know how many of those Jay has had? Twice or more than Kevin.

On a series that pairs up colleagues like it's their mission, they never once even considered taking the Burgess and Atwater relationship in any other direction beyond platonic (and even that is underused these days). I'm not even saying I would've wanted that. I'm just pointing out that it made no sense given their track record to not even tease it. But Kevin is only good for platonic purposes, I suppose.

The fact that they put all their eggs in a potential Atwater and Rojas ship, that never even came to fruition, in season SEVEN of a series Atwater has been in since the beginning when characters like Adam and Jay have already had two relationships or more under their belts by then is ridiculous.

And then there's Voight. He's the lead character and never once had a romantic storyline. If he were younger, you already know they would've went there a few times over.

Yet the closest Hank has come to one is an ambiguous scene with him talking to a sex worker in a hotel room back in, like, season two. Are we to believe that he has never once developed feelings for or even had sex with anyone else since his wife died? He's never moved on after that?

They could easily allude to him being on an ace or demi spectrum if they want, even if I would side eye them for choosing the older character to do it, but if that's the case, they should do something with that.

Even a storyline with a widowed, middle- aged hardass finding love or getting some would be infinitely more interesting and at the very least something different than the same old same old Ruzek & Halstead merry-go-round. Damn, the 50 and over crowd need love too.

And yet Chicago PD keeps feeding us the same bland diet repackaged.

Fine. Burzek has been a thing from the beginning. But after Jay and Erin WHY did they need Hailey and Jay? And if they were going to do Jay and Hailey, why in the mother loving fk did we need Hailey and Adam?

The good sis bagged not one but both of the coveted white boys.

I mean, just for variety, Dawson was right there. Kevin was right there. I wouldn't have been a fan, but hell, it would at least be something different. Much better than acting as if Halstead and Ruzek are the only viable romantic options.

Why subject her to that?

Isn't it bad enough that she's more often than not reduced to being Lindsay Lite anyway? They struggle to give her a presence that deviates and distinguishes her from Erin as is. From her troubled past, and her stage of being mini- Voight and challenging his authority, to this thing with Jay.

Hell, they even repeated a whole job offer thing.

Mind you, don't get me started on how they missed what should've been the obvious chance to make Hailey queer. If I'm stepping on toes, my bad, but everything about Hailey screamed bi or lesbian. She radiated queer energy, but INSTEAD they chose to pair her with not one but both of CPD's romantic male leads.

Why beat this well-tread path yet again?

Of all the possibilities, and all the different avenues they can explore, they just keep dipping into that same well, and it's so tiresome. It's so unoriginal and uninspired. Yes, it's just so basic. I'm talking 20th century shipping... CPD is so outdated with this and it makes it hard to invest or care about any of them, especially if you already aren't inclined to ship within the series as is.

Shock me. Thrill me. Intrigue me. Bloody hell.

#chicago pd #anti upstead #I'll tag it that just to be nice #ship culture #updated with pics to break up the blocks for the visual learners

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beloved-child-of-the-house · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

#sherlock stuff #ask games #apliddell #if y'all wanna send me asks about names for a house #or anything else i mentioned here #they would be welcome

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