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tangledinink · 1 year

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Chapter Ten of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up! :0 Betraying my system and posting one chapter early because it was one of my favorites to write and I'm excited... the boys return to school for the first time in a while, and, of course, it goes VERY well... read it on ao3 or below the cut!

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(cw: depictions of panic attacks, a lil bit of blood and fighting)

Oh god. He could not do this. What was he thinking? What were any of them thinking?! This was going to be a complete disaster.

Leo's sneakers were still pointed in the direction of the school, and he was walking towards it, but he wanted oh so desperately to turn tail and run. He wouldn't. He wasn't gonna back out or ditch his family... but oh pizza supreme in the sky did he want to.

He really, really hoped that this was worth it.

They had all agreed to the plan days ago, discussing it at length and reviewing the pros and cons. And when they had that original conversation, Leo had been all for it! It seemed like a good idea when Donnie pitched it... at the time.

"Right. So. As you all know, I've been doing some research on the mystic artifacts that we recovered from Dad's room. There's not a ton I can find online, which I was expecting, but I've been doing some analysis on the actual items themselves and some of the readings they're giving, and--"

"You found something?" Raph interrupted, his eyes widening. Donnie had hesitated.

"Well. Not exactly," they had explained, wincing a bit. "There is definitely a pattern in what I'm seeing, and it seems like most mystic energy has a particular molecular build, if you will, so to speak. I mean, it's really not quite as simple as that, it sort of is less molecular and more next-to-molecular... It's pretty fascinating, actually, I mean, I can't imagine that anyone would notice these kinds of signatures unless they were actively looking for them, it’s really on detectable via--"

"Donnie!"

"Right. Sorry. The point is, I have a foundation. I have the buildings of an equation here, but I don't have any values to input into it yet, so I can't do anything with it. And that," they swiveled in their desk chair to point, grinning big. "Is where Mikey comes in."

They had all turned to look at their youngest brother, who absolutely beamed in response, oozing sunshine in a way Leo hadn't seen in nearly two weeks.

"Did you guys know he can see auras?"

"I'm sorry, he can what?" Raph echoed.

"Well, 'aura' is the placeholder term I'm using for ease of communication at the moment. I'll label it with a proper term later. Mikey likes to call them ‘life colors.’ But the point is, according to Mikey, at least from what he can tell, pretty much everyone in the world has a unique 'life color.' I wasn’t really sure if I was gonna be able to go anywhere with this at first, but after discussing it at length and running a few tests, I’m fairly certain it is, in fact, a measurable mystic quality that I could figure out how to sample. So, in other words, a unique signature. In other other words..."

Donnie had paused, expecting someone to finish the sentence. His family stared at him blankly. Donnie huffed a bit in annoyance, rolling his eyes.

"In other words, gentleman, (and April,) we have our values. If we know that everyone has a unique 'life color' signature associated with them, in addition to knowing that mystical energy itself has a unique signature associated with it, and if I’m able to detect and read both these signatures with my tech, I can, theoretically, generate a tracking algorithm capable of sweeping and zeroing in on these specific data points, and--"

"And you can find Dad!" Raph finished the sentence this time, his eyes absolutely alight. Wait, really!? They had a lead? They had a lead! Leo had all but jumped up from his seat on Donnie’s bed, bounding over to join his twin at their computer.

"Alright, Dee! I knew you could do it!" He cheered. "So what are we waiting for!? Let's go get Dad already!"

"Well," Donnie held up his hands, and Leo paused. Wait, well? What was the problem?

"I can generate a tracking algorithm and software with a margin of error. And right now, the data pool we're working with is not especially impressive," Donnie muttered, turning back to the monitors and gesturing to a bunch of charts and numbers that none of them understood. They had all gathered and leaned in to look anyway. "As it stands, anything I build will likely not be especially accurate, if it works at all. I've already spent some time with it, and it turns out that there are... a lot of people in New York City," he said dryly. "Which makes this difficult."

"Then... what do we do?" April questioned, frowning.

Mikey had grinned, puffing out his chest. "We get more data!"

Leo had originally suggested that they just go camp in Times Square and people-watch, and collect a shit-ton of data that way, but as Donnie had explained it, it wasn't quite so simple. Just inputting the life colors of random people from off the street wasn't really going to train the AI he was coding to do much of anything. The software he was hoping to build wasn't going to have the same 'gift' as Mikey, and wouldn't be able to just 'see' people's life colors. They'd have to teach it how to do so by associating 'colors' with other data points, such as blood type, birthdays, thermo-magnetic signatures, and a bunch of other fancy words Leo didn't recognize, in order to try to find a pattern that could be used to identify and track such things. So it could learn to ‘see’ life colors on its own. In other words, they could only use the 'life colors' of people who they could find again and collect further data on. People who they could reliably locate over a period of time. People who they were able to access other records for...

And Donnie could hack into the school's database in his sleep. So.

Here they were.

At the time, it had seemed like a reasonable plan. Go to school, Mikey can collect a list of kids and their life colors, Donnie pulls data from the school's records, and the rest of them fill in the blanks with whatever weird tests Donnie said they needed. They were all sneaky enough that they could scan a kid's magnetic energy or whatever incognito. It was a good plan. They had even managed to convince Carol that they were ready to go back to school after several long conversations, insisting that staying home and not seeing any of their friends were just making things worse, etc etc.

But oh my god. Now they were here, walking up to the building, and all Leo could think was this is a horrible idea. He kept trying to tell himself maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe not that many kids knew, maybe no one was gonna say anything, but who was he kidding? He was sure the whole ass school had taken notice of their two-week absence and knew perfectly well by now that their dad was missing. It had only been circulating through the news and every social media platform that had ever existed on repeat since it happened.

Everyone was gonna be looking at him with those sad, sorry-for-you eyes that he couldn't stand. It was gonna be awkward. And he was not even a little bit excited about it. Dammit, he had had his phone on 'do not disturb' for the past two weeks for exactly this reason.

But he had said he would do it. So.

Here they were.

"Alright," Raph said, turning to face the rest of the group, just outside of the front doors. Leo could already feel other kids watching them. He thought back to his and Mikey's conversation that one time when they went to gymnastics. How things were normal, but also weren't at all, and just let them all in the lurch in this uncanny-valley sort of space. "We all know the game plan?"

"Yes sir," they all responded, though not with quite enthusiasm or coordination as they usually did. Leo could tell that everyone was nervous. I mean, jesus. He couldn't blame them.

"Alright," Raph bit the insides of his cheeks. Also nervous. "Everyone keep your phones on. And text the group chat if anything happens. We can always leave if we gotta, I mean, if you guys wanna go home--"

"Oh-ho-ho!" Leo remarked with a grin. "What happened to ‘no skipping class?’"

"Leo--"

"This is a great change of pace," he continued, desperate to break the tension. "But don't worry! We're gonna be fine-- we got this! And if anything happens, we'll just ninja our way out of here, no problem."

"No, if anything happens, we call April's mom to pick us up--"

"Same thing! We've got this one-thousand percent until control. Right, Magic Mike?" Leo teased, nudging his brother, who forced a half-hearted grin in response. "See? He's all over it. Okay, now what's that thing Raph always says? Don’t do anything Raph wouldn’t do? Don't be late to class? That thing! Everyone go do that!" He said, grabbing Donnie by the hand and promptly marching off.

Oh, he could feel the eyes on the back of his head. But soooo worth it to end the awkward, anxious air. If this was what the entire day was gonna be like, he wasn't gonna make it. He could tell you that right now.

He wasn't sure Donnie was, either. Was he, like, legit shaking? Crap. Okay, come on. We can fix this.

"I mean it, you know," he said, slowing his pace slightly and releasing his grip, shifting into an easy stride next to his twin rather than dragging them along behind him. "You've got this, Dee. If anyone can figure out this whole mess, it's you, right? Once Mikey has all that data stuff, we'll be all set."

"Yeah..." Donnie said, not sounding anywhere near as confident as Leo was used to, staring down at his boots. Aw, man.

"Oh, come on. Where's your enthusiasm? Where's the brother I know and love?" Leo bade, elbowing him slightly, but failing to make any actual physical contact with him. He had already pushed it by grabbing his hand, no need to pile on top of that... "Where's your... your thing! Your emotionless passion!"

"Here," Donnie mumbled in a tone just barely one step above a whine, hunching his shoulders slightly. "It's fine. I do have this. Today is just gonna suck."

Leo sighed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"... Yeah. I know. We just gotta... get through it. Keep our heads down, muscle through, and once today is over, it's over. No biggie!"

Even he didn't believe it. Regardless, the pair made their way to homeroom-- though at an admittedly much slower pace than usual, with no racing, jumping, leaping, or flipping. It almost felt foreign, and Leo was half tempted to tag his brother and take off running. Muscle memory begged him to. But he knew that neither of them really felt up for it, and besides, the last thing they needed were even more eyes on them. Leo tried to emit his very best, 'do not look at me, talk to me, or fuck with me,' vibes as they entered the classroom, sticking close to his twin. That wasn't usually his forte-- it was more Donnie's, if anything-- but it was at least enough to ward off the masses until the first official bell of the day rang.

Leo's stomach was in absolute fucking knots. 'Cause he knew that he had geometry first period in the upper east wing of the school... and Donnie had history in the west.

For a moment, he felt like a second grader again, terrified of his twin brother moving on without him and leaving him behind to go to school all by himself. He swallowed hard, lingering in the hallway just long enough to give Donnie a grin and sign a reassurance that he could text him if anything happened. Donnie had frowned, nodded, and they had parted.

It did not feel good.

He was trying to talk himself down from the ledge, resisting the urge to run after his brother and tackle him and cling to him, like, no, don't leave me alone!, when he rounded the corner and caught sight of a face across the hall that made him freeze.

"Leo!" Chase immediately called out when they made eye contact.

Dammit. He knew he was forgetting something. Actually, you know what? Fuck geometry. Who needs geometry? Leo made an immediate about-face, spinning on his heels and going exactly back the way he just came. Opting out of this conversation, thank you very much.

"Leo!" He heard his despite-not-talking-in-literally-two-weeks-technically-still-boyfriend shout from behind him again, no doubt in pursuit, and Leo cursed in every language that he knew, picking up the pace. No no no no. He was so not in the mood for this. This was the last thing he needed. He barely even liked Chase that much on, like, a good day, he was just kinda cute and had decent taste in music! He had no intention of discussing any bit of, like, this whole situation with him.

Gymnastics lessons, don't fail me now. Leo ducked and weaved past students as fast as he dared, dancing around, over, and occasionally through them, not really caring that much if he bumped or elbowed anyone. Sorry, he had priorities! A quick glance over his shoulder told him that, no, somehow, he still had not lost Chase, who was, in fact, living up to his name at the moment, and oh my god, was he panicking? He was pretty sure he was panicking, great, cool, no problem! Let's run with it! Mikey said that feeling emotions was healthy or whatever, and wow, was he feeling it!

He nearly wiped out a couple of freshmen as he flung himself around a corner and down a side hall, his sneakers sliding noisily against the linoleum as he all but smacked into the nearest door he could find. Okay, running wasn't working, how about hiding? Just had to duck away somewhere for a minute and lay low, and it'd all be fine, and he wouldn't have to deal with this or talk about any of this or talk to him--

He blanched when the door failed to budge. What?! No, no, no, come on! Open, you've gotta open! He glanced around frantically for an alternative exit plan, but there was nothing around that he'd be able to get to before Chase caught up.

"Come on. Come on. Open, open, open, move, dammit, move--" He hissed under his breath, rearing back before shoving against the door with his entire weight.

He yelped in surprise when he fell flat on his face, gravel stinging his cheeks and shifting beneath him, a shocking blast of icy cold wind cutting through him like a knife. What the--? Leo sat up quickly, brushing the dirt and pebbles from himself with a splutter as he glanced around at his surroundings.

"Oh, for fuck's sake..."

The good news was that he had lost Chase.

Bad news was that he was on the roof.

Okay... so we can definitely rule out sleepwalking.

---

Donnie had learned years ago, though admittedly a bit later than most, that the internet couldn't always be trusted. He knew by now that it wasn't reasonable to always expect things to go the way they were described on online forums or in web articles, and understood the concept of 'expectations VS reality...'

But that didn't make the reality any better.

Because he had come prepared, right? They knew that this was going to suck, and they did what any good scholar would do in such a situation-- research. They had Googled it, had looked up 'what to expect when returning to work/school after a personal tragedy,' (because Googling 'after your Dad gets kidnapped' hadn't yielded any good results and Donnie figured it must have been too specific,) and he had read the WikiHow, the reddit forums, the Quora threads, and all the other articles in between. He had prepped!

But jesus christ. None of them had mentioned how much touching there was going to be.

So far he had been subject to no less than four overly emotional hugs that he had not consented to, (what were they emotional about, anyway?) eleven hand grabs-slash-squeezes, and so many shoulder rubs and gentle arm touches that he had lost count. And every single time, he had to resist the urge to shove them away. And every single time, the touch absolutely lingered, sticking to him like tree sap and covering him up like mushrooms and spores and burning him.

God. They hated this. Hated this, hated this, hated this. They were trying so hard to keep their mind focused, to concentrate on the task in front of them and the reason they were here, but their head was already all fuzzy and thick, feeling as though it had been stuffed full of fountain grass. Everyone kept coming up to them to talk to them, to say that they were so sorry to hear about their dad and if there was anything they can do and they hope things work out soon and blah blah blah, all these stupid, pointless, unpleasant emotions that they just kept dumping over his head until he was soaked and shivering and freezing cold, drenched down to his bones. The entire school was getting louder and louder by the second. Had the teacher's heels always clicked like that? And had the lights in the classroom always been so goddamn bright?

The kid behind him in his third period class popped their gum and Donnie stood up, grabbed his stuff, and walked out.

He was pretty sure his teacher said something, but he was not even listening to her a little bit. Sorry, nope, nu-uh, not today, they were leaving, or else they were absolutely going to vomit. They had no idea where they were going but they just-- they had to be-- not here.

Please, just somewhere else.

They quickened their pace through the hallways, eyes darting around, looking desperately for a place to just hide for a little bit, just somewhere else, because they were about to lose their mind. Their tongue was all thick and swollen and stuck to the roof of their mouth and their head was buzzing like it was filled up with wasps and their joints were all tight, like they had just run a marathon, like they were being chased-- they knew there was somewhere to go. He knew this. Come on, Donatello, think. You've studied the blueprints of the school. Calm down, focus-- where are you going?

One left and a right, third door from the left. Supply closet. This is where he’s going.

Donnie practically threw himself into the closet, yanking the door shut behind him, flicking off the lights, and sinking down to the ground, curling up into the littlest ball he could become and burying his head between his knees, because no, no, he’s not having a panic attack. Not right now. Not before he even makes it halfway through the day, goddammit, no, he’s fine. Everything is fine.

It's... it's fine. Donnie swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut and wiggling his wrists back and forth, anxious and jittery, just barely tapping his knuckles against the sides of his head as he tried to focus on breathing. Yeah. No. Things were totally fine. He was not freaking out. He was not sitting here, absolutely fucking terrified that someone was going to burst in through the door looking for him any second now.

Nope. Not him. He was... all good.

Please, for the love of the known, observable universe-- and even the unknown, unobservable parts!-- just leave me alone. Just let it be quiet for a while.

He swallowed thickly, biting the edges of his tongue, fighting to settle. He pressed his shoulders up against the cold, hard metal door behind him, trying desperately to ground himself, to be here, in reality, and not float off and spiral. The sound of approaching footsteps just barely breached the protective net of his headphones, and he bristled, every muscle in his body tensing, poised to run-- only for his hackles to lower again when the sound passed on, walking past the closet without disturbing him.

They’re gonna look for you, an unwelcome little voice in his head warned. Donnie frowned.

No, they’re not. It’s fine.

They are. You ran right out of class. Everyone already thinks you’re crazy even on a good day-- let alone today. They’re looking for you. They’ll find you.

People don’t think I’m crazy. They’re not looking for me. It’s fine. We-- we have time. We just need to calm down, and we’ll go back. They’re not gonna find us.

They will. They’re gonna show up any second.

They’re not. You don’t know that.

You don’t know that they won’t.

They won’t. It’s fine.

You don’t know. How could you know? There’s no way of knowing.

Things could still get worse!

They could be here any second!

You don’t know!

The click and clatter of metal-on-metal cut through Donnie the same way he imagined being stabbed would be like, and he absolutely froze. But to his surprise, the door didn’t fall away behind him. No harsh light or chiding voice invaded the space. Everything remained… just as it was.

So what was that noise?

After taking a moment to build up enough courage and clarity to give in to curiosity, he slowly unwound all his muscles, sitting up properly and looking around. And, in fact, it took almost no time at all for him to identify the source.

Looped firmly around the door handle was a small padlock that had most certainly not been there before, constructed entirely, it seemed, of violet light in a very familiar shade.

Fascinating... Did I make this?

Donnie leaned in to examine the item, running his fingers along the edges of it, investigating, testing it a few times and tugging at it lightly. It was a fairly primitive thing, from what he could tell, but it was most certainly doing its job, keeping the door firmly shut and not giving way when he pulled. Well. He supposed he was going to be in here for a while. Not that he really minded. Sighing deeply, he sat back down, pulling his bag off of his back and quickly retrieving his laptop.

Thank god. Data collection.

---

It wasn't that people weren't being nice. They were. Everyone was being super nice! Several of Raph’s teachers had taken him aside to tell him not to worry about any missed work or his grades right now. In every single class, classmates took the time to offer hugs and words of encouragement. Members of the football team and basketball team alike sought him out in the halls to present him with a Build-A-Bear gift card that they had all pitched in to get with a promise that they could all go out together whenever he was down for it. He had, admittedly, teared up a tiny bit.

It was really, really lovely. It was wonderful to know that so many people cared about him and were concerned about him.

So why did he still feel so awful?

Raph felt almost ungrateful, plodding through the school with this big weight on his shoulders, his entire frame feeling like it was rotting rapidly beneath his skin. He was absolutely surrounded by people; swaths and seas of them, and half of them knew him, half of them were concerned about him. So why did he feel like he was all by himself in a big empty cavern?

I wonder if the others are okay, he had thought.

Are people being cool with them, too?

But what if they are? Leo might not like it. He loves attention, but not that kind. It might freak him out. Donnie too.

What if people are giving Donnie hugs? He hates that. He'll be miserable.

Are all their teachers telling them not to worry about their grades, either? Are Mikey's teachers letting him get off without make-up work? He already tries so hard with school as it is. What if he ends up having to do a bunch of extra on top of it all?

And what if their grades slip? That's really important to Donnie. They're gonna be devastated if their GPA gets tanked.

Is April good? Is she getting overwhelmed? Are people asking her lots of questions? People aren’t pestering me so far for details, but what if they think it’s okay to pester April like that because she wasn't, technically speaking, a Hamato? She was. It wasn't okay. What if people were looking to her for answers?

What if this was a horrible plan?

Well, technically, it wasn't even your plan. It was Donnie's plan.

But it was your plan to use Donnie's plan! And you're the biggest brother. You're responsible.

Man, why the hell are you here right now?! You should be with them! You should be taking care of them!

Why? You've been with them all week, and the week before that, and ain't helped at all!

Raph could feel a twitch developing in his eye, much to his annoyance. It did very little to soothe him as he moved through the day, and every five minutes, Mind-Raph asked, 'is it time to panic yet?'

He got through to nearly fourth period before the answer was yes, it is, in fact, time to panic. Not the ideal answer.

He wasn't even sure what set it off, actually. He only did about half the time, which was by far the most frustrating part, because when he didn't know he just felt like he was floundering blindly at nothing for no good reason. He had been in the hallway, moving between classes, a raindrop in the ocean of other students all doing the same thing, and some younger kid had darted past him, seemingly in a rush, sort of knocking into his arm-- maybe that was what did it. He wasn't exactly sure, because usually, that wouldn't bother him at all.

It did today.

This didn't happen often, really, but every time it did, it was like, oh, great, here we go again, and he'd brace himself for the coming ride. Because it fucking sucked. The room was spinning and his legs were going out from under him and his chest was compressing and his throat was closing up and his eyes were fucking deteriorating in his head.

Not really. He was okay. He could still breathe, or, well, hyperventilate, at least. He was still on his feet, even if he was shaking.... But it wasn't like he could tell. Fuck. The world was ending, maybe? No, it wasn't. Get it together. Get a grip, Raph, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, except no, it's not, I can't breathe, why can't I get a goddamn breath?! He hated doing this.

People were still moving around him, and he grabbed the nearest locker he could get to as an anchor, pressing his palm against it as he tried to remember how to breathe. Cold. Smooth. Hard. Grounding, right? Donnie taught you this. He was vaguely aware of a few kids lingering, taking notice of his panic, touching his back and asking if he was okay. Raph didn't have it in him to speak right now, but he wanted so badly to snap at them to leave him alone. Couldn't they tell he was already using all of his energy to not completely lose it, flip out, and punch a hole through the wall? Again?! It had been a nightmare the first time when Dad had to deal with that, he did not want to put that on Mrs. O'Neil's plate.

"Hey, come on, back up, give him some room to breathe, would ya?"

This voice was loud enough that Raph could hear it over his own shuddering, and he shifted slightly, his eyes darting to the side. He knew this guy. Jason-- they skateboarded together sometimes. He was really good. He had a pet leopard gecko he had seen many pictures of. He was Mikey's age; more his friend than Raph's own, but regardless, he had been over to their apartment a few times. They weren't crazy close or anything-- but they were friends.

That was more than enough for him right now.

"You good, dude?" Jason said, softer now, leaning in towards Raph just a tiny bit, but still keeping his distance. "I mean-- do you want me to text your brothers or something?"

Raph squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing hard before giving a short shake of his head.

No. No, he'd be okay. He just needed a minute. He didn't want to make them all worry about this when they had a job to do.

God, he just hoped that they were all having a better day than he was... and not getting themselves into any kinds of messes.

---

Mikey could feel hot blood splatter across his knuckles as his clenched fist made contact with Zach's nose, a satisfying crunch echoing through his hand, up his wrist, and then bouncing around in his ribs. The martial arts tournaments he competed in were great. He loved them, really. But they felt nothing like this.

Wait. Sorry. We're jumping ahead.

Was the first day back at school after nearly two weeks off stressful? Yeah, of course, it was. Mikey had been pretty jittery when he got to school this morning, dancing on his toes and fidgeting with his spinner ring, fussing with the beads in his hair, and worrying the corners of his lips between his teeth. But it actually hadn't been as bad as he had thought.

They had said they wanted to 'get back into the routine' to Mrs. O'Neil as an excuse to get her to let them come, but honestly, it was almost kind of good? Yeah, things were still weird, and he was still worried and scared, but it wasn't like with gymnastics. When he was at gymnastics, it just felt like they were there to be there-- just as an excuse to ignore what was going on and pretend like it wasn't happening.

But they were at school for a reason. They had a lead. And, more importantly, Mikey had a job to do.

He had latched on tight to his assigned task-- dug his fingers in like he was burrowing into clay, pressing in until his entire fist had sunk inside, and then took off running. Really, he liked being occupied. ADHD was a bitch sometimes, but today, the stars must have aligned because it was all systems go. He knew exactly what he was doing, and his brain was completely and utterly focused on this task. Yes, it was genuinely nice to see all his friends and teachers again after so long... but that wasn't the point. None of the fear and anxiety and stress was touching him right now because he had a job.

Because he loved getting to see Rebecca again and discuss how her hamster was doing at home, and because she was this deep, dark, rich turquoise color, ever so slightly bluer than it was green. And because getting to see his favorite teacher, Mr. Ovin, was great, and he was all sweet and reassuring, and he was a deep, warm gray, like fog in the summer. It was great because Timothy was indigo, just edging on violet. It was great because Dale was yellowy-orange like cantaloupe. Because Taylor was hot pink. Because José was golden-brown. Because Mona was midnight blue.

His list was already fifty-strong before they even hit lunch period, and Mikey was absolutely giddy. Yeah, baby! If this wasn't enough data to get them started, he swore he'd eat his own watercolor set. Surely this was, if nothing else, a good start, and he was already just chomping on the bit to tell the rest of his family. Donnie was gonna be thrilled, he was sure--

"Mikey!"

It was not the first time that day someone had yelled for his attention. In fact, the day had been absolutely littered with them-- Mikey could hardly take a step without someone looking to speak with him and check in with him now that he was in school. So he paused in his steps, his eyes chasing after the sound of the calling voice until he found Zach, dodging through throngs of students to make his way over.

"Hey, Zach!" Mikey greeted, offering a grin-- a genuine one, too, all wide and toothy.

"Hey! Hey, Mikey. Uhhh. Good to see you back."

"Thanks," Mikey replied. Not the first time he heard that today, either, but it was still nice to think that his absence had meant something to people.

"Yeah, yeah. So, uh, do you have that commission done yet?"

Mikey blinked.

"Commission?"

"Yeah! Yeah, remember, you were gonna do a portrait of Abby, for her birthday?" Zach laughed nervously. "I was kind of worried you were gonna miss it, you were gone so long, but--"

"No?"

"What?" Zach paused, his eyebrows raising, and Mikey frowned, hesitating a second before he found new words, quickly scrambling, re-evaluating, and re-writing.

"Uh, sorry," he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, I don't have it done yet. I've kind of got commissions on hold right now? So... I dunno when it's gonna get done. Sorry, dude."

"... But her birthday is on Wednesday."

"Sorry," Mikey repeated.

"And I paid you in advance."

Mikey grit his teeth. Oh, yeah, paid him a whole twenty dollars in advance...?

"Yeah, sorry, but--"

"Well, what am I supposed to give her?"

"I dunno. Figure something out?"

Oh. Oh, actually,

"What do you mean figure something out? I did! I paid you!"

Actually... Maybe the stress,

"Do you want your money back?"

Was still here, actually.

"No, I want my portrait! Do you know how pissed she's gonna be if I don't have anything to give her on Wednesday?"

His head was suddenly remembering how little he had slept over the past two weeks.

"That's really not my problem."

His eyes suddenly remembered how many tears they had shed.

"Dude, are you serious?!"

His throat remembered the ache of howling.

"Are you serious?! I dunno if you've heard, but I'm a little bit busy right now! Your girlfriend's birthday commission isn't really a priority right now!" Mikey snapped, feeling himself bristle.

"You've literally not shown up for school for two weeks, what do you mean busy!?"

"I'm not on vacation, Zach! I've been with my family!"

"For two weeks!?" Zach protested. "Look, dude, I'm really sorry your dad died, but this was really important to--"

Mikey froze.

"Excuse me?" He hissed. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Come on, Mike, this was really--"

"My dad isn't dead," Mikey whispered. His head felt all hot. He felt like a goddamn candle. The rest of his body was melting, but his head was just heat and nothing else. "He's missing. He's not dead."

"Okay, look, I didn't mean--"

Mikey shoved him. Not hard. But not soft, either.

"Leave me alone," he spat, and even though he was all heat, all bright reds and oranges and yellows, he felt his voice was cold and white like ice, like the month of December. Zach stumbled a bit, his mouth gaping dumbly like a fish, and Mikey watched and waited with absolutely bated breath to see how he would respond. Zach was a junior. He was a lot taller than Mikey was. Bigger, too. And his color was orange, too, Mikey noted in the back of his mind. Bright, dazzling, almost scarlet orange.

He could feel students nearby pausing, lingering, beginning to turn heads and slow their footsteps in order to watch and see what was going to happen.

Zach's face contorted with indignant fury, and he stepped forward to shove Mikey right back. Mikey let his body take the momentum with absolute grace-- let his feet be forced back a few steps, falling into stance once they found the ground again. He lowered his body slightly, squaring his shoulders, finding his center of gravity, and taking it in both hands. Suddenly, he felt very calm.

That was exactly what Mikey was hoping he would do.

---

Jeez Louise, at this rate, I'm gonna give Taylor Martin a run for her money...

April was rapidly growing annoyed with the number of people who, up until now, didn't want anything to do with her, but were now suddenly quite concerned about both her well-being and the state of her brothers. She had gotten just about as many questions as she had condolences, which she had no idea how to receive. I mean, god, what's the appropriate response to people asking those kinds of things? Were they doing okay? Uh, I dunno, that's sort of a loaded question!

She was also suddenly becoming uncomfortably aware of how many kids in their grade had a thinly-veiled crush on Raph, which she was not too pleased with. Like, good for him or whatever, (not that she thought he had the slightest clue,) but she didn't need to know all that, thank you! Yes, Melissa, I'll tell him you said hi, but don't you two have bio together!? Jeez! Stupid giant quarterback little brother...

April grumbled as she made her way into chemistry class, making a beeline to her usual seat and immediately laying her head down in her arms with a scowl. Maybe if she was lucky, people would get the hint and not bother her. Not that that had worked out so far...

"Bad day?"

April took a long, deep breath, and then slowly let it back out, picking up her head just enough to watch Sunita take her seat next to hers, offering a weak, sympathetic little smile in her direction. She had almost forgotten there was someone she actually liked in this class.

"Something like that," April said with a wry smile, wrinkling up her nose a bit before laying her head back down. "I know how this sounds, but I am soooo sick of people caring about me and my brothers."

"Uh oh... Kind of a lot, huh?" Sunita mumbled, wincing a bit, and April nodded a little, wrapping her arms around herself and frowning.

"I know people are just trying to be nice or whatever, but it's just... I dunno. Can you just let us breathe?! I hope they're not being this pushy with the guys because it's a lot for me and it's not even technically my dad, I mean, they're a total mess, I just--" She caught herself, biting her tongue. "Sorry. I'm just a little worried about them. And kind of annoyed," she admitted, rolling her eyes. "It's fine."

Sunita didn't respond right away, and when April glanced over at her again, there was this funny sort of expression on her face that April couldn't quite place. She frowned, about to say something, when Sunita nodded, biting the insides of her cheeks.

"Yeah. I get it. I mean. Gob. I can't imagine... I'm sure it must be stressful…"

April hesitated a second before she responded again. "It's a lot. But. You know. We're... handling it," she said, readjusting her glasses quickly. "Sorry. Can we just, like, talk about something else?"

"Oh! Right. Right, sorry, I'm being just as bad as everyone else!" Sunita gasped, her face flushing. "Sorry. Uh. What do you wanna-- uh-- did you… see the new episode of that barbecue show that just came out? I think Mikey would like it, uhm, they made some really bold choices..."

If April was being honest, she wasn't really listening. Sorry, Sunita. But she appreciated the white noise, at least, allowing herself to tune out for a while, scribbling black zig-zags and wriggles aimlessly in the margin of her notebook until class started properly. And, actually, even after class started properly. She was usually pretty focused at school and took her studies seriously. I mean, not as seriously as some people, but she got good grades! She just wasn't really feeling it today. Whatever. Her notes may suck, but at least she had something. She was sure Donnie could teach her whatever this was later.

Class seemed to last a millennia, dragging along as April doodled and tried to keep her mind off of the rest of her family. God, she really hoped that this plan worked... if it did, it would be worth a million of these shitty school days.

She just really hoped that this wasn't for nothing.

She could see Sunita repeatedly giving her anxious, worried looks out of the corner of her eyes, fidgeting with her headband and frowning to herself. Honestly, she knew that their opening conversation had been a bit awkward, but it wasn't worth Sunita stressing over like this. Ugh. Maybe she should apologize or something later... It wasn't like she was mad or anything, she was just... tired.

She was just really, really tired.

April wasted no time at all in swiping her books from off the desk when the bell finally, blissfully rang, dismissing her from this class and shuffling the whole school on to the next. She didn't expect that the next class would be any better, but at least she'd be that much closer to the end of the day... Before she could get very far, however, she felt a hand clamp around her wrist.

"... Sunita?" April questioned, raising a brow. "Uh. Is something wrong?"

"Yes! I mean. No! I mean. Oh..! Hang on, just... just... c'mere!" Sunita bit out, chewing nervously at her fingernails as she yanked April from the classroom, moving with such fervor that April nearly lost her footing, giving a surprised little yelp as she stumbled after the other.

"Sunita! Whoa, girl, hang on!!! Where the heck are we going?"

"Somewhere... else! Just, just, hang on! You've just gotta trust me, okay?" Sunita hissed, quickly ducking around a corner, all but shoving April into the first empty classroom that they found, hurriedly shutting the door behind her.

"Wha-- girl, what is going on!?" April spluttered, looking around frantically. She really liked Sunita, but this had better not be her coming onto her or something, 'cause it was so not the time--

"I just-- oh, gob, I'm going to get in so much trouble. What am I doing?! This is so so so against the rules... Okay. Okay. Buck up, Sunita," the other girl squeaked, seemingly pep-talking herself, pacing out several rapid back-and-forth laps across the linoleum floor before she suddenly whipped around to meet April's eyes, grabbing her firmly by her shoulders.

"I know where Mr. Hamato is."

[ next ]

#sorrywhatnow fic #sorrywhatnowau #tmnt human au #tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fic #fanfic #rottmnt mikey #rise mikey #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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a-doubleh-x · 5 months

Text

Fashionably Late Review: TADC Episode 2

Hi everyone! Welcome to Fashionably Late Reviews, where I write my thoughts on media days and days later, not because I've been in frequent dental pain, no, no, no. It's because I care for writing the most detailed, most thought through analysis you're ever gonna see!

Episode 1 started us with a general introduction as well as a mini arc for Pomni. Episode 2 resumes that with a proper self contained adventure while still breaking the mold in the process.

While this episode was shorter than the pilot, the writing was so good and the emotional beats so well played, I barely took notice. It felt like a very strong second step for the series, plus it gave every character at least a small moment to shine, which was very nice.

The theme of existential dread returns once more and this time we're treated to a showcase of how characters deal with it, prominently in this case Pomni, Ragatha and Jax. Interestingly, I noticed each of these has an NPC counterpart they get along with who reflects their personality in some way.

For the rest of this review, I'm going to run one by one following their perspectives and episode arcs in order to showcase the episode's narrative.

Pomni represents existential shock and subsequent apathy. After the first episode, we see her in a cathatonic state of depression, even while Ragatha tries to wake her up from that funk. Because her entire world has been shattered, she doesn't recognize herself anymore. She feels alone because nothing has meaning anymore.

The small distraction Ragatha offers her at the beginning, the adventure of the day, is rejected because she knows it's "fake". It's a sad substitute of all the experiences in the outside eorld she' been robbed of.

This is mirrored by Gummigoo, who undergoes a similar existential crisis when he learns he's an artificial construct with no agency. At that point, everything loses meaning for him as well, but just looking at someone in the same circusmtances as her fills Pomni with empathy, momentarily taking her out of her existential dread with a connection and purpose.

She knows getting out of the out of bounds area is not going to save them on the long term, but she still wants to do it because something has meaning for her again: Gummigoo, who may still be "fake" but holds enough humanity to feel "real" to her.

And then, Gummi dies, proving how fickle life is in front of an uncaring universe XD

It's still too early to say how much of an impact this will have on Pomni in the long run as well as how much of a trend it sets, so we'll see.

Ragatha represents coping through trivial distractions as as well as codependent altruism fueled by denial. We learnt the reason she goes along with the adventures is to keep herself and everyone else busy. This way everyone has something to do and don't go crazy: even if adventures are just trite entertainment.

She clearly puts others above herself, especially newbies like Pomni, in order to keep peace in the group (although I have a feeling she secretly hopes the others took care of her the same way).

Her counterpart is Princess Loolilaloo, whom she simply gets along with swimmingly. Princess Loo is presented as a sweet, kind and well meaning individual who unfortunately is blind to the circumstances surrounding her. This comes into play when she trusts the "heros" come out of nowhere with the key, which Jax holds for his own chaotic mischief.

Similarly, while Ragatha's intentions towards Pomni are benevolent, she fails to acknowledge her perspective and connect with her and instead annoys her with her toxic positivity. Fortunately, Kinger is there to teach her a valuable lesson, which is respecting others' boundaries and have patience.

Jax represents destructive revelry and rejection of morals. Because he believes nothing the crew does during their adventures matter, he spends the whole time stirring the pot in order to cause as much trouble as possible, not quite caring who gets affected as long as it's not himself.

It's interesting to note despite Jax's nihilistic tendencies, he seems to value self preservation, suggesting there are things he holds onto, after all. He's happy as long as he can see "funny things happen to people", but he's still not quite the master of his own world as he's still not satisfied if things go out of his control.

His counterpart is the Fudge, a haunting and deeply unsettling potrait of a sociopathic being. They're called a monster and they accepts that label willingly, as they were designed to be a monster. They claim to "hear the voices of the candy people, calling [them]". Tragically, their destructiveness is only in their nature.

Jax, however, causes pain deliberately and at the end we get a little hint of why. When the circus crew prepares Kauffmo's funeral, he looks sad for a moment, then angry. I think this is a subtle telling that Jax not that deep down *does* care for his fellow players, but he also rejects the pain of losing them, which is why he purposely pushes them off to avoid making connections.

At the end of the episode we're presented with a hopeful message, which is that even with the notion of existential dread, our connections are what keeps us alive in the face of non-existence. Although it seems there is no escape from the fate of abstraction yet, it seems that Pomni has gained a substantial comfort by seeing the humanity of the circus crew, represented by them grabbing her by the hand in her imaginary sequence.

All in all, a beautiful piece, although I dread what's still ahead of us XD As a writer, I've learnt to expect the unexpected, so I can only expect that we're going to have our hearts twisted and folded in ways we're absolutely *not* ready for. But it's all part of the fun! Right?

By the way, I just started writing a little fanfic for TADC. It's a Pomni x Ragatha story because I could use a little levity and I think everyone else as well. Expect that as well as more post like these in the upcoming future.

I'll see you fashionably late! 👋🎉🐊

#the amazing digital circus #pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #gummigoo #princess loolilalu #the fudge #analysis

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ridiculously-over-obsessed · 2 months

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Little bechloe week update from me: I won't be doing Day Three at all, I'm just really struggling for an idea for that prompt that isn't going to spawn a ridiculously long fic that I just haven't got the time to write right now (considering I spaced and bechloe week is only 4 days away the fuck??? It's proper snuck up on me).

I have days one, two, and five pretty much planned out (one of them is kink smut to probably no-one's surprise, I'll let you guess which), and I'm gonna try and knock them out while I'm dogsitting still. For day four and six I'm updating (hopefully) Run Don't Walk Away and starting a sequel fic to I Am Your Sword And Shield, so hopefully there'll be plenty of content. As for day seven, I don't currently have any inspiration for it, so there might not be a fic for then either, but it's at the end of the week, so who knows??

Last thing, if you are waiting on either a dm or an answer to an ask/review from me, I'm so sorry you've had to wait, I will hopefully get back to most if not all of you tomorrow, I know I've been MIA but things have been insane and it's been too hot to boot, so I've just been really out of sorts 😔 but hopefully this is the end of my block and I'm back at it again, with a TMWYH update to follow after bechloe week hopefully

Thanks for sticking around nerds, it's appreciated 🥰✌🏻🩵

#max rambles a lot #bechloe week 2024 #fic things #wip: rdwa #wip: iaysas #wip: tmwyh(icfit)

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mixelation · 1 year

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ok so in the reborn AU, does Tori get fuuinjustu training from Kushina and Minato or just her sensei? what's in it for Deidara to stay in Konoha with Itachi and Tori?

gonna answer these in reverse order

tbh deidara's role isn't super fleshed out in my brain, to the point where i'm debating NOT putting him in konoha? but i really like the idea of Team Disaster and they're all about the same age, and i can't think of any other native konoha-nin i want to write about in a role that big

(the alternative is an actual twelve year old has the worst year of their life.)

i think he goes with "guess i'm in konoha now???" at first as a matter of convenience. they low-key get strong-armed into it, but he is theoretically on board with being Actual Friends with tori at this point, and tori has interest in staying. i don't think deidara would actually give much of a shit about the mysterious time travel or what to do about it (except maybe go see if sasori remembers him), but itachi is in a constant state of playing 4d chess and tori is in a constant state of ASSUMING everyone around her playing 4d chess so she has to watch five different boards at once and eat chess pieces when no one is looking. in other words if he leaves them alone they MIGHT kill each other and/or start the apocalypse. if he sticks around to watch he gets to see a spectacular shit show and maybe get some hot gossip on former coworkers. it's kind of a similar mood to homemade dynamite where he's annoyed by the loss of freedom but does like some aspects of being in a village-- a stable space to do art, a paycheck, etc. UNLIKE in homemade dynamite i think this deidara gets more chances to shine as a really elite ninja and i think he really, really likes positive attention, actually

i've kind of kicked around one or two or all of them leaving konoha eventually, but i'm not sure deidara would just fuck off without a particular catalyst. he is, after all, a very reactionary person. unlike HD!kakashi, kushina knows she has an extremely talented team and she gets to bat her eyes at the hokage and get them the cool, fun missions genin wouldn't usually get. so deidara is get fulfilling work and positive attention and he doesn't, like, hate it here?

as for tori's fuinjutsu--

yes, she starts off with kushina as her main mentor. this tori is from post-plot plasticity so kushina very rapidly goes from "i will train her in fuinjutsu--" to "ah, no, this is more of a collaborative learning experience." like there's stuff kushina CAN teach her but also there's stuff where she's like "hold on, no, you made that work HOW--" tori DOES need a lot of proper mentor-mentee training in other areas of being a ninja though.

(kushina: spar one of your teammates

tori: what if

tori: no)

as she gets older i'm thinking tori gets more face time with minato though, even if it's just like a peer review thing. i have kicked around the idea of her incorporating hiraishin into whatever the fuck her fighting style is but also this seems so self-indulgent fhdjksfhjksd. but also the point of the au is to mess around with the idea of tori being a ninja and getting to be on the same level as the rest of akatsuki :(

#fic: plasticity #reborn au #what if i named it...... mutagenicity #this au feels so self-indulgent and 'mary sue' fjdahfjd #i hide under a cut

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 1 year

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If i have time once i dfinish w my tests, ill try turning this into a fic--

An actual, legal custody battle between the Sullys and Quaritch, who would win?

The Sullys have a history with Child neglect. A good lawyer could make a case for verbal and emotional abuse from Neytiri, as well as physical, if the cut from the ship comes into play (also p sure she tries to attack him multiple times in the comics). You could argue that they can't provide a safe environment for him, and they could use his lack of schooling against them.

Quaritch definitely engaged in some physical abuse, with the whole 'pointing a gun at him, kidnapping him, bringing him to be tortured' thing. However, a very good lawyer could argue that it was his right, as Spiders bio dad, to bring him home, as the Sullys nor anyone else went through the legal human (or na'vi) trouble of adopting him.

And on top of that, if they reviewed the actual torture video of Spider (p sure they got security cams) it would look like Quaritch never actively partook in the torture, and was even the one who stopped it when it became clear that Spider was at risk of serious injury (nose bleeding in a mind tearing machine means bad news, methinks) (I'd think he'd start having some kind of stroke?) Then theres the whole "provide better schooling, housing etc etc".

The Sullies lawyer could argue that Quaritch is the reason he was tortured, and that he held him hostage for months. Could argue that he was putting him in danger by bringing him on that ship (Jake "brings his kids to the battlefield" Jake has no rral leg to stand on) (i mean, cmon, Lo'ak is 14!!! Make him help the wounded or smth)

I think a proper custody battle fic would be cool, so I'm really mad that I have to write it

>:(((

This is the third legal battle on Pandora ask I've gotten. Don't take my response personally and please do what you wish, these are just my opinions and thoughts, as I've really been stewing on it. You know I'm all about the implications of things, again this is not at all at you or the other anon you just got me thinking.

I gotta be honest, this premise does not do it for me at all. I don't vibe with the legal system applying to the Na'vi, first of all. They are not US citizens, they are not even on Earth. Applying a legal system to them that they have no knowledge of and have no reason to follow is another aspect of colonization and genocide that is a huge issue still today. Applying our standards and morals to other communities is wrong. The legal system in the US and Canada has a huge problem of taking indigenous children from the indigenous community and placing them with white families today. Eradicating future cultural generations is a genocidal tactic. This is not the same as the situation with Spider, but a legal battle with the Na'vi over a child has those echos to me. There are only the laws of Eywa on Pandora, why should they be judged on arbitrary rules that apply on Earth? I don't understand it; it has such a colonialist mindset. There is no way to even enforce a ruling, the Na'vi don't have courts and therefore the jury would be human and heavily biased, and there isn't a judge and they would also be biased if there was. Even Spider does not know or follow the laws of Earth, he is not a US citizen. The Na'vi have not been following proper hunting ordinances, if US law applies the game wardens are gonna have to do a lot of ticketing and fining of the Na'vi's no money to fix that. At the very least it's wrong, at the most it's a slippery slope into US law applying to the Na'vi on Pandora which is a MAJOR colonizing step. We cannot even say that Lo'ak and Neteyam should not be on a battlefield, in Na'vi culture Neteyam is fully an adult member of the clan and we are told Na'vi mature faster than humans. Judging that as putting kids in danger is looking at things from a distinctly western and human perspective, when the Na'vi would likely see Jake as overprotective.

Second of all, I do find the concept of treating Quaritch as an actual viable parent as ludicrous. He is, again, a war criminal who has committed genocide. A great many of his war crimes were committed against Spider?? Arguing that anything Quaritch did was his legal right to bring Spider home is crazy, and also saying Spider wasn't adopted by the Sully's makes neglect not even something they can talk about in court as they weren't his guardians ever. Also saying Quaritch saved Spider from torture is laughable. He put Spider there, everything that happens to Spider in the RDA is entirely Quaritch's fault and responsibility. Taking a civilian war prisoner is a war crime. A child? Double war crimes. If this was a court, which again, I really don't like the idea of the American legal system applying to the Na'vi, Quaritch has a lot more problems them custody arguments. Man is in jail for the rest of his life, he's not getting custody.

#again i'm very sorry to be so harsh it is just my thoughts on the concept #pls do not take it at u my lovely friend of the blog #not everyone english majors all things #and please never stop sending me fic ideas please undercoverpan i love u please #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #miles quaritch #jake sully #neytiri sully #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa's asks #melissa on avatar (cameron)#melissa is an english major #melissa had an exam at 9am this morning about american literature pre 1860 #lotttt of indigenous sovereignty talk it got me fired up fam

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m-ilkiee · 2 months

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Okay time for my proper review cuz I read it properly now,,, Bro I wanna say in my pov it looks like reader doesn't not have very good self-preservation skills. Like she thinks she does but man 😭 I totally understand tho, she lived in poverty and starving people eat anything.

I feel like Koko will be very interesting in this so will Rindo(I'm just mentioning him cuz you didn't mention him and I just have a gut feeling his character is gonna be like 😃)

Mikey is crazy as usual which is not unexpected.

I don't read your fics for the smut,, I read it for the plot cuz omggg

I remember you talking about the song Brutus for this fic and it definitely fits according to all the summaries. Wanting what someone has and getting it whatever way you can. This is definitely going to be a very refreshing series.

Alsooooo

How different would you say reader in monsters is from reader in deadly affairs?

You are not wrong at all 😭 I won't give out much information but word's on the street is that as much as reader is a 'girlboss' she's also... reckless, especially when intoxicated -which is 70% of the time. She's intelligent, but not that smart.

Kokonoi has a very big role in this fic. He's the one that saves Reader's ass majority of the time and the reason She's not dead yet. But that doesn't mean he's good to her either... in fact, all executives will have a hand in this fic.

Mikey is well... Mikey :)) i can't say more because my editor (also me) says it's a spoiler.

THANK YOU 😭 Please my smut writing skills is ass, so plot it is!

Framing Reader as Brutus and Mikey as Caeser ... we're gonna have a lot of fun with this one.

In terms of difference; Deadly affairs! Reader is highly intelligent and determined to be at the top of the food chain. She's not above using anyone to get her way, abandoning them right after and she's nit above murdering her own friends, if she'll benefit from it. She also doesn't care for the executives feelings, seeing men as pigs - you'll see it soon. Whereas Monster! Reader is meek and humble, content with her quiet life and would never hurt a fly. Monster! Reader is a people pleaser, while Deadly Affairs! Reader would only suck up to people and then stab them in the back later.

#deadly affairs 🍷

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fanaticsnail · 6 months

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Finally at home so I can give you the proper hiperfixation review of Sapsorrow ch. 8!!!

Governess giving Buggy a reprimand 😅 Poor guy was just trying to make things flashy. He's lucky he's cute and eager to help.

Yeahhh, we've been waiting all this time to read Mihawk say outloud that phrase!!! I was hoping it was by pointing Yoru's to someone's neck. Thanks Beck for the map, I know it was his idea, if it was for Shanks he would've send poor Mihawk to search blindly but we laugh last because guess who's gonna go searching for his own bride soon??? 😎

Ohhh, the assembly in the cave! I can just imagine how radiant it may look! No, Buggy, you can't have our Governess, better start running!!!

Mihawk on his knees, singing... 🫠🫠🫠

“The seas and sword were my first love,

The training alone be vast.

Although you were not my first to love,

May we both be each's last.”

Those last verses got me all 🥹, they are beautiful!!!

OMG!!! Zoro is having second thoughts. It didn't down on me that Zoro would have to kill Mihawk in battle someday to claim his tittle. I thought that just disarm him on an formal duel or something and he admitting defeat was enough. Tho, it may still take a whiiiiile. Rayleigh and Garp were still out there all chill and undefeated at their 70s/60s.

I agree with Mihawk, Buggy seems to want to be behead today 😂 but ohhh, that was so flashy!!! Even better than Hunger Games: Catching Fire because the Starlight Dress is more spectacular!!! I just can picture all the colors you describe!!! ✨🌈

The dancing has started!!! Tango ensues!!! Time to shift music 💃

He had A feeling 🥰

“For whatever comes next, sounds like an awfully exciting adventure, my heart.” 🥹

My eyes are watering for lack of proper sleep and spring allergies, not because Zoro and Governess conversation 🥲

OMG, we get to dance with everybody, I love it here!!!

Oh, my dear Croc, indeed, what used would you have for a tamer of unruly individuals? It would be a shame that you find an unruly individual to tame to save your soul 😏

Aww, dancing with Buggy sounds delightfully funny, if this was a modern AU I know he would be out there giving John Travolta a run for his money 🕺🪩

I imagine Shanks knows how to dance almost everything. Meanwhile, Beck not knowing how to waltz it's so endearing!

Yeah, a fire by the beach sounds idilyc!!!

Oh, god, surprises still coming! Another tradition? Thanks, Shanks, who would have thought he was such a traditional guy???

"... make as much noise as we can while you perform your husbandly duties." I cracked so much when I first read it 🤣

In Germa they do what now?! 😳 Do not picture Sanji, do not... *picturing Sanji* 🫠

The Sun Dress is coming!!!

“You’ll have to wear a blindfold too.” asdfsadasf 🫠🫠🫠

I apologize for my lack of articulation here but my brain has turned into mush 🙃

EEEEEEEEE A chapter review by Vita??? My goodness! Not only do you spoil me with your beautiful art, but now reviews!! My goodness!

Buggy was a whole pest this chapter. I hope he knows what he's in for when the spectre goes after him 😏.

If Beckman wasn't as competent and thoughtful as he was, Mihawk may yet still be searching for his bride.

The cave scene was on my mind for so, so long. That, and the dancing. I was so glad to finally pump those words out - especially the song. I pulled out all the stops for that little song - even composed it musically with my guitar and violin to see if it would sound as good out loud as it did in my head 🥴.

The way I didn't even think about the hunger games 🤦‍♀️. My goodness, what a comparison though! Where Katniss' was more a controlled flame, Buggy literally went to set her on fire 💀💀💀.

I am sorry for the tears! They needed to have a bit of a rapport together, Zoro and his governess, to support each other. Zoro was there for her in the start of their adventure, it was only fitting for her to be supportive of his.

The way that "The Sands of Time" is writing itself at this point. I'm just there with a glass of wine and watching it happen. Poor Crocodile. Will he need someone to tame his unruly princess, or will the governess aid her in taming him 😏.

Buggy as Travolta 💀💀💀. Someone needs to draw that 👀

Poor Beckman spent all his time learning how to be the loyal knight of the Red-Hair Pirates, he never learnt how to dance. Poor gentleman. Shanks, on the other hand (HAH, HAND) knows how to dance - and dances well.

Oh, goodness. So many traditions. Poor Sanji, indeed. Poor Vinsmoke Sora 😭.

And the blindfold chapter is coming. Hands, fingertips, material, temperature changes, whispers, surprises - it's all coming soon!!

#one piece #x reader #mihawk #sapsorrow au #storyteller au #mihawk sapsorrow au #mihawk x reader #ask snail #snail answers

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lavenoon · 1 year

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1st of all, need to say, adored Dove on the Roof and I'm sending you the longest review once I can after work, this is a threat 🔪 2nd of all–if you've thought of it and you wanna share the tidbit–I loved how after sharing Horizons name and Y/N admitted they only used his gadgets, Moon said he was gonna tell Eclipse abt it, Re:

“I’m going to tell him you said that. It’ll be terrible, because he’ll get even smugger, but it’s too good not to.”

and like. Luce. If you wanna share. I'd love to know how Eclipse reacted to that. Bc yes he'll be so smug abt it i just know it, but i also think he'd be really touched that like, his brothers' partner feels that strongly abt the stuff he makes? Struggling to stay coherent bc English is not my first language, but I just gosh. i loved it. going bonkers. hitting u w that long review later. get ready. -Soldrope ☀️💧

New morning new braincells, let's go!

I have devoured your comment(s) and I have been so so normal about the amount of thought and analysis and how many things you've caught that I tried to write in! I'm so so happy that it all came across and I literally cried reading your comments already gfdhjs now I only hope I soon get the spoons to go through my ao3 inbox and reply to the comments I've amassed

As for Moon telling Eclipse? It didn't happen in that window between Moon date fade-out and Sun date, because Moon was too busy cuddling and being a lovebird (he finally gets to be a bird too! <3), though it'll happen after the Foxy conversation after Sun's date.

That conversation will be addressed in a proper drabble/ chapter (they've been getting longer, so by now drabble feels no longer appropriate gfhdjs), so since I haven't written that yet this might not quite fit with how things turn out, but it'll be a fun thought until then!

Because after all that, and not charging the night before due to cuddle priorities (and they haven't quite yet reached the stage of a permanently installed charging cable at Y/N's side of the duplex) (it's definitely a thought though, because lugging around their cable for sleepovers has a bit of a hassle), Moon will excuse himself for a quick charge before work, and handle a little special phone call <3

(Eclipse will be smug enough. Moon doesn't need to make the gloating even easier by providing something to screenshot)

Eclipse, on the other hand, is positively surprised and doing his best not to be weirded out by a spontaneous phone call from his brother. That just didn't happen before! He's still getting used to the closer contact, too, and his first thought won't be a good one. Maybe another emergency? At least this time he'll hear about it sooner?

Well, only for Moon to pull the rug from under him completely.

"What do you mean, you haven't talked about me before?"

"I mean, we were trying to flirt, which already kept misfiring. Adding complicated family history that paints a rather ugly picture of us when they never asked wasn't really... Something that came up."

A sigh, and Eclipse does his best to cover up the lingering hurt. He knows their relationship was rocky at best, and he wasn't exactly eager to talk about them to other people either.

(It helps a little, knowing that part of it was guilt - he wasn't forgotten, instead his brothers felt too bad to casually bring him up. But he also doesn't like being a guilty secret either. In the end, he pushes it away to unpack later, and focus on the conversation at hand)

"How did it 'come up' then?"

Silence from the other end, as Moon quickly decides that no, he's not going to explain that he made his own first date emotionally charged in the heavy way to finally talk about his brother, much less the exact conversation that sparked it.

Eclipse never asked for their favorite colors, either.

"No, no, look, that's not the important bit. They went off on me for not telling them."

"Makes sense."

"Because they're a fan of your work."

"Makes s- huh?"

"They like your designs. They exclusively buy their own gadgets, except for when one of yours gets distributed. They said, and I quote, 'That Horizon?'"

Again, silence, as Eclipse processes that. That's so far from what he expected, or even figured would ever be in store for him. He knows his work is good, the agency doesn't really entertain slackers and subpar work, not for leading researchers - but that doesn't mean he feels appreciated. The people he works with are more neutral to annoyed by his antics, and the actual results he produces seemingly fade into the background.

So hearing there's someone out there who, dare he say it, is a fan?

He already thought Y/N/ Robin is nice enough from just the stories Sun and Moon shared before, but this? Now, within seconds, he's decided he has to meet them and become friends.

Hopefully they'll still like him once they've met him.

By now, he's been silent for a while.

"... Eclipse?"

The anxiety gets pushed away yet again, and instead Eclipse starts laughing. Softly, first, but then it turns into a full blown cackle.

Moon just sighs.

"Here we go."

"Since when? How long have they liked my stuff?"

"I didn't ask, that wasn't exactly the focus of the conversation."

"You can ask right now though! Ask them!"

"They're at work!"

"Send them a text then! You'll say you forgot if you don't do it now!"

"I wouldn't forget!"

"Yeah, but you'd say that!"

They squabble a bit, and it feels nice - just your normal, comfortable sibling banter, something they didn't get to share for the longest time. Both draw it out, just a bit, to enjoy it more.

Moon does send the text, but only after making a production out of "not wanting to". Eclipse laughs some more, that smug snicker of a younger sibling winning out over the older one.

And then he thinks of something else, too.

"Oh, oh, have you told them about that drone I've been trying to get approved?"

"No, I haven't, tell them yourself. Did that still not go through? You mentioned that weeks ago, they're really dragging their feet."

"They say it's a fire hazard, and I keep trying to explain that that's the reason why I need them to approve the more expensive fireproof material. Somehow they don't seem to understand that."

The conversation drifts towards other topics, then, but Eclipse is very much soaring from the start of it. That little "tell them yourself" is enough to reassure him on so many levels - this isn't an exception, this is going to be normal, his brothers want him to meet their partner, want to introduce them and give him a chance to talk to them himself.

The anxiety is still there, and a bit of it we see in Duck Duck Goose - he needs them to like him, needs things to go well, and to leave a good impression. He's more than just his work, and unfortunately he's afraid that they won't like the person behind the codename, and that confidence boost of them liking his work doesn't quite shine through.

They'll get there! It'll just take a bit of work, and time, but they're all very willing to put that effort in <3

#answer let luce #soldrope asks #accidentally undercover #im not wordcounting that good luck #it feels normal ask length for me but yknow that doesnt narrow it down much lmao #this took me the entire morning because I kept getting distracted FGHDJS #also now I thought about your comments again and I'm melting again aaaa #hope this lil scenario elicits even a fraction of the joy I felt reading your comments hehe <3

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jajanvm-imbi · 8 months

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Hazbin Hotel 4 episode premiere review Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3

I'm gonna preface this by saying that I am enjoying Hazbin in the same way I enjoy Helluva Boss. I've been following the series since the pilot's release, I've gotten more and more excited with every announcement leading up to it's offical release and I've already watched every episode several times.

HOWEVER, just like with Helluva Boss, there are a lot of issues with Hazbin that I feel are very fair criticisms worth talking about.

This isn't going to be another bad-faith rambling about how the show is shit, how everyone who likes it is stupid, and how Viv and her creative team deserved all of the harassment they've gotten for the past couple of years. Like I said I've been enjoying Hazbin and Helluva for what they are a lot, but just because I enjoy both shows doesn't mean I don't think there are many issues with it.

This post is going to be discussing Hazbin's issues ofc, but I'd really like to sit down and write up all of my issues with Helluva one day as well because any issues in Hazbin are almost always 10x worse in Helluva.

So now with that our of the way, here's my critique on Hazbin Hotel as someone who enjoys the show:

Buckle up cause this post is gonna be long

What I believe the main issue for Hazbin Hotel boils down to the same issue for Helluva Boss:

Pacing

The pacing in Hazbin is......not great. Don't get me wrong, its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the pacing in Helluva Boss, by like, a lot. But that doesn't mean its, well, good.

The Over-Reliance on the Pilot's Popularity.

So, there's no actual introduction to any character but Charlie and mayyyyyyyybe Vaggie. But the rest of the cast is just, there, and the audience is supposed to know who they are automatically. And even then, the introduction to the premise is almost non-existent in the first ep.

For those of us who have been following the series for years know who these characters are and what the plot of the series is, but for the causal viewer who's scrolling through Prime and stumbles upon Hazbin, there's no proper introduction to what's happening.

It's almost like its required to watch the pilot before watching the actual series in order to have any idea whats happening. And thats a problem because the pilot isn't an episode its a pilot. For like 99% shows, the audience never sees the pilot. Season 1 episode 1 has to start from square 1, reintroducing who's who and what's going on.

The first ep of Hazbin takes place one week after the pilot. Which means they all acknowledge the pilot happened, its not retconed or anything, but it's still not an episode.

The pilot takes the time to establish Charlie's base personality, her motives, how the rest of hell treats her, and the significance of Alastor's presence at the hotel. Charlie getting bullied by Katie Killjoy at the news station does more for establishing Charlie's character and her motives than anything in all 4 episodes of the official premiere. There isn't really anything to show how hell doesn't take Charlie seriously, either. (The closest thing we get is how Valentino talks about Charlie when she's not there) Yeah Adam bullies her in ep 1 but that heaven not hell. S1 ep 1 "Overture" just expects the audience to already know what's happening.

There is literally no reason why they couldn't have just remade the pilot into an actual episode with a few changes and the new voice cast (obv), and then pick up the next day instead of the next week.

Like is the whole terf war still happening? Cause it isn't acknowledged at all in the premiere. Maybe they could have added Alastor's mysterious 7 year "sabatical" into Vaggie's explanation of Alastor to Angel.

It would have been so easy to just remake the pilot into an episode since the pilot does such a good job of establishing whats going on. A well known example of a show doing just that is the Gravity Falls pilot. The pilot is obviously shorter and the supporting cast is missing, but the plot of the episode is still the same and it establishes the personalities for the 3 main characters. Anyway-

2. The Hotel Isn't Even the Central Focus

They introduced the conflict between Heaven and Hell waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too soon.

This is the exact same thing that happened with Helluva Boss. The pilot displayed a clear premise for the series and then when the series officially airs it turns out the premise isn't even the central focus.

It isnt as offensive in Hazbin because at least Hazbin's central focus is on something still somewhat relevant to the plot which is "helping sinners". In Helluva Boss the central focus is "Owo angsty gay relationship drama", which is completely irrelevant to the initial "imps in hell are hits for hire up on earth and shenanigans ensue" premise.

Why are we being introduced to heaven's schemes to do more than one extermination a year before Charlie even gets a chance to prove there are some sinners interested in being redeemed? It would have been a MILLION times more impactful if Charlie got maybe two or three sinners actually looking to be redeemed to stay at the hotel, who were hopeful that they still had a chance to live a better life, only for all of Charlie's hopes to be crushed by Adam's rejection.

If Charlie had people who believed in her, if she saw how much faith they had in her to help them change their lives around, only for her to come back from her meeting not only saying the angels rejected her but that the next extermination was sooner than anticipated, OUGH would it have hurt.

Instead, the hotel is treated like a background or just a thing to do in the meantime while the characters focus on the Heaven vs. Hell conflict or other stuff.

The show just immediately jumps into the whole Heaven vs. Hell thing without really even focusing on the hotel and what Charlie is trying to do, AKA the title of the fucking show. Why even bother calling the series Hazbin Hotel if you aren't going to even focus on why the hotel exists in the first place????

We as the audience need to spend time at the hotel with the characters in order for us to get attached to Charlie's cause before you dash all our hopes away. Then we can root for Charlie as she overcomes Heaven's hypocrisy with the help of her friends. (which kind of goes back to the over reliance on the pilot)

And the cherry on top would have been that this is the perfect set up for some fun ""filler"" character establishing episodes while Charlie works with the sinners.

There's a reason why most people seem to recognize ep 4 "Masquerade" as the best episode out of the 4 despite also being the most graphic, followed by ep 2 "Radio Killed the Video Star". Both ep 2 and ep 4 are more one off self contained stories you would usually see in a more episodic series, and they're wonderfully entertaining because they're still being treated like introductions. Ep 2 takes the time to properly introduce the Vs and their connections to the main cast, particularly Vox and Alastor's rivalry. Ep 4 introduced Angel's situation with Valentino to the audience, which is a major part of his character, and Angel is part of the main cast so this isn't out of place. The conflicts between the Vs and the main cast aren't resolved by the end of either of these episodes, but thats because they're still only introductions.

The problem with ep 1 and ep 3 is that we're charging ahead with the whole Heaven vs. Hell conflict with characters we still barely know.

The issues with ep 1 mainly tie back into point 1. with how there was no proper reintroduction to anything in the series, and the show immediately crushes Charlie's dreams before we are even properly introduced to them again. Adam being an asshole to Charlie and them moving up the next extermination date has no impact because we as the audience barely knows who these characters even are.

In episode 3, the hotel and the team building stuff is the B plot while Alastor and his meeting with the other Overlords is the A plot??? In the third episode of the series????

I was confused with why ep 3 featured a Velvette and Camilla duet and a Vaggie and Camilla duet because we barely know who Velvette and Camillia are. Why did Camilla get a whole ass power ballad about protecting her daughters from an exorcist if we barely know who Camilla is??? Why was she paired with Vaggie, a character we've already grown attached to for the past 2 episodes??? Vaggie had some nice character moments in ep 3 but it was overshadowed by Camilla's presence because we don't know nearly enough about Camilla for a parallel between her and Vaggie to feel appropriate.

Velvette had some fun banter with Vox in ep 2 but only for like a minute, why is she singing about being better than everyone else?? Vox and Valentino had way more screentime than Velvette so far, so why should we as the audience believe that she's the "backbone of the Vs" and thats why she's feels like she can be disrespectful to Camilla and Zestial? The show doesn't even directly acknowledge that Velvette is the newest and youngest of the overlords, thats information given to us from????Instragram??? Why is Velvette the "backbone of the Vs"?? I'm not saying they should have done a whole backstory episode before this scene, I'm saying there should have at least been a scene foreshadowing Velvette being the mastermind behind the Vs' power or something.

And both the issues with Camilla ad Velvette tie back into how they're talking about starting a fucking WAR with HEAVEN?????????? We barely know anything about the conflict between Heaven and Hell why would a war between the two being a real threat in the mind of the audience??? And what does any of this Overlord drama have to do with Charlie's mission to rehabilitate sinners??? They don't care about the new extermination date because of Charlie's mission they just don't want to fucking die.

Its way too soon to be talking about all this with characters we as the audience barely know. None of this had anything to do with the hotel or Charlie's goals.

So in conclusion to this section, the writers at Hazbin have done the same thing they did with Helluva, which is: They expect the audience to care about the characters and the plot without actually giving us a reason why. Because the pilot was so popular and was the only thing we had of Hazbin for 4 years, they decided that the pilot's popularity was good enough to take the place of actual character establishing work. They felt like since the pilot already generated a large fanbase, they didn't need to do any of the work to get the audience to care about the characters and the plot because they already do. So now the writers are charging ahead with all this fluff and drama, talking about things that are irrelevant to the premise without re-establishing anything because they felt like the pilot are did that for them. Long time fans are gonna eat this all up regardless because we've been waiting for more episodes for YEARS, but Hazbin is going to have a very hard time gaining any new audience on a mainstream platform like Prime Video because the show is incomplete. No casual viewer scrolling through Prime is going to want to click off of Prime, log onto YouTube and watch the 45 minute pilot in order to then understand Hazbin Hotel the series. Causal viewers are going to watch the first episode thinking "Oh I've heard of this lets see what the hype is all about" and then be super confused on whats happening and who all these characters are and quickly loose interest. No one wants to do homework in order to enjoy a show. At least with Helluva Boss the entire show is on YouTube and the official playlist with all the episodes includes the pilot so new viewers don't have to leave the platform. Hazbin already has a second season confirmed right out of the gate, and the fanbase is already large enough to keep the show going (hopefully), but honestly I fear Viv and her team are gonna have a really hard time getting their numbers to grow because of these choices. Lets see how all this plays out.

There's one more thing that I wanted to bring up because it is a glaring issue but people have been talking about it since the pilot so I'll keep it brief.

Character Designs and Color Palette

Yes, Viv's artstyle suffers from "Tumblr Sexyman Syndrome".

Every other character wears a suit and bowtie. Which makes sense for some of them, Charlie and Vox in specifically. Charlie is a princess so she dresses formally and Vox is a business man. (Although why does Vox wear a bowtie and not a regular necktie?)

Alastor, Sir Pentious, and Angel however? Why? I get how a suit and tie could fit into their respective aesthetics, but there are also different outfits from their respective time periods that could have made more sense and would have easily solved this issue.

By having every other character wear the same outfit, we loose the sense that all these characters are from different periods of time and places. Which is a shame because Hell is the PERFECT setting to have all these different time periods collide in a way that makes sense.

No one questions why a 1940s gangster from New York, an English inventor from 1830s London, a radio host from 1930s Louisiana, a housemaid from the 1950s, a Vegas gambler from idk when, etc... are all in the same location because they're all in Hell. They all died at different periods in time but they all ended up in the same place! It was such a missed opportunity to have fun with this hogpoge of different aesthetics and it sucks because it would have been so visually interesting and engaging!

It also doesn't help that almost everyone is wearing red. And not just red, but the same shade of red as the fucking SKY. Like look at this shit:

Like rip to any colorblind person trying to watch this.

I'm genuinely shocked that this wasn't corrected while redesigning the main cast. Viv went to the School of Visual Arts (SVA), one of the top schools for animation on the East Coast. I refuse to believe she didn't learn how bad this in school.

This is one of the only areas in which Helluva Boss is actually better than Hazbin. The imps all have the same color palette, red white and black, but because they regularly travel to other rings of Hell, earth, and interact with other beings in Hell like, sinners, succubi, hellhounds, the Sins, etc.... they stand out. The imps don't blend into the background (as often) like the Hazbin cast does.

But because the Hazbin cast can't travel to the other rings of Hell according to the lore (which I don't mind), then it was up to Viv and the other designers on the team to find a creative solution to make the characters stand out against the bright red sky. Instead they made it infinitely worse than the pilot by putting everyone in red.

At least in the pilot, Charlie wore pink and black, Vaggie wore grey and white, Angel wore white, Nifty had a splash of yellow etc... But now literally 90% of the cast is in the same shade of bright red as Alastor and the SKY. Like we get it they're in Hell they don't need to wear red to convey that because the SKY is red and has a fucking PENTAGRAM IN IT. We know the hotel is in Hell it doesn't need to be red either

The best scenes in the show visually so far are when the characters aren't outside or in the hotel. For example:

Charlie in the Heaven clocktower, Angel dancing in Poison, Angel and Husk outside the bar (I know I just said when they aren't outside but that background has enough variety of color that it actually works very well)

I am honest to God baffled how this wasn't corrected. Its like, Character Design 101, how was Viv allowed to get away with this?

Anyway

CW: brief mention of abuse

Those are my first impressions on Hazbin Hotel the official series. I know there are only 4 episodes out but the fact that the series started like this is genuinely concerning. Viv was given the opportunity of a lifetime, what started as a indie project was picked up by a well respected studio and distributed by Prime Video. She gained a massive fanbase right off the bat and had all the tools to make this series something special. People are tired of the oversaturation of remakes and reboots and sequels and prequels and spin offs and live actions and whatever that seeing a new show with a whole new concept and setting and characters is exciting! Not many big studios are willing to invest in bold new ideas anymore. People are starving for something new, but when the new stuff is, well, this, its pretty disappointing.

I'm going to continue watching Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss because despite the many glaring issues both shows have, I do still find them entertaining.

I don't mind all the swearing, (even when it does get annoying), I don't mind the sense of humor, I'm not too offended by the Tumblr Sexyman artstyle. I'm a musical theater lover, so I don't mind the musical numbers, especially with such a stacked talented cast. I can personally handle darker, more intense topics like Angel's abuse.

I was excited for the series to premiere, I'm excited for future episodes, and I honestly believe the reason why I still find these shows enjoyable is because I love doing breakdowns like this. I love analyzing the media I consume, I love understanding how and why shows fail, and bad shows have more to analyze than good shows do lmfao.

And don't get me wrong, there are things about the series that I really love as they are! But that's for a different post lol.

If you're still reading this I hope you enjoyed my review Hazbin Hotel so far. I know in the past I said I was prepared to not engage with the fandom at all because there was too much drama and the hatedom is honestly equally, if not more annoying than the fandom, but I couldn't resist doing a whole long ass post about the show, jaja. I have too much fun with this sort of stuff!

#yall better appreciate this cause I was trying to upload those screenshots instead of getting ready for work #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #helluva boss #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #spindlehorse toons #spindlehorse

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skullduggeryandfilibuster · 2 months

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Introductions to Writeblr From a Writer

So I never wrote one of these. Probably a good a place as any to get my foot in the door.

Who Am I?

I'm John (he/him), and I'm a 21 year old writer. I'm looking for friends, because my greatest fear is being alone in a room of a thousand people because friends are nice to have. I had the unfortunate realization that the only way I can share the stuff I make, is to actually make it? Eugh. Anywho, I'm a big fan of fantasy, mystery, comedy, mythology, folktales and urban legends, and lil guys in funny hats. I'm not here to write or read fanfiction. I respect the field, but it's not for me, apologies.

Well What Are You Here For?

Blogging about writing! Like actually! Not just thinking about it, or murmuring under my breath in the shower how cool it would be to run a blog, but like, actually doing it! I want this to be a place I can give my thoughts about storytelling and art, such as proper reviews or random ravings. I want this to be a place where I can work with other writers to hone our craft, and help each other out! Feedback, support, advice, criticism, you name it. I want this to be a place where I can share what I've written, lest the flashing cursor continue to mock me. From short stories, to tidbits of longer things, to flash fiction to everything in-between. I've been in a writing "rut," you could call it, for some time, and I'm hoping this blog will encourage me to get my fingers typing and track/show off my progress.

Huh, What Are You Writing Then?

I mostly write fantasy. My favorite type of media are stories that can make me laugh one scene and cry the next without missing a beat, so that's what I strive to write. I'm working on several things, but really I'm interested in making new things; stuff from scratch. But I'll share some tidbits of the WIPs I got:

Codename: TOaO

This is the project I've been working on the longest. It is also the one I am least comfortable sharing. Oh, not because it's my baby or my most precious project. It's cause I'm in the process of gutting it and stitching it back together to make my own Frankenstein's Monster! (did you know Frankenstein was the scientist not the--) I've been reassessing how I write and outline and reassessing this story for the last few months, and I'm kinda taking a break to work on something else right now. It's a comedy fantasy story in the vein of Discworld. The main protagonist is the world's biggest normie (that is the truth), who is an aspiring hero! ...And he can hear the narrator of the book but don't worry about that it won't lead to any problems like anxiety or depression or insanity or–– That's all I'm willing to share, because that's the only thing I know is 100% staying. Other characters, conflicts, settings, plot lines... who's to say what'll stay or what'll go? (Me. I'm to say.)

Video Essay About––

So yeah, I'm making a video essay discussing the writing of a television series. "Oh that's cool! What's the show?" Ehaha! Hahaha! Ha... sniff... ha... ugh... "Oh, this is a popular show that you think has bad writing, isn't it?" Nods Yeah... the internet. It's a scary place. And "hating" on things that people agree are bad is still gonna get you hate. But this is a passion project. I am 95% done with the script, and in the process of editing it down. It is sitting at 33k words right now. So yeah, safe to say, whatever show this is, know that I have thoughts. I'm excited to move onto the next phase of actually recording it, so that'll be fun. You'll get to see my beautiful face. (I can assure you I am very beautiful.)

Some Short Stories

These aren't actually WIPs, they're WHFs. (Work has Finished.) I have two short stories, one about a sorcerer's apprentice who murders a spell, another about a delusional overseer on a Southern plantation who is just baffled that one of the enslaved people would run away. Two very different stories, fairly different tones, and I may or may not post them here if people are interested. We'll see. Let me know.

Facts (Fun Optional) About Me

I'm neurodivergent.

I hate all conspiracy theories. Yes, even the fun ones.

I love Scooby-Doo.

I have strong opinions about a fair deal of things...

...But I'm more interested in what other people think about those things and why.

Currently Reading Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson. It's pretty good so far. Excited for Wind and Truth.

Thanks for reading. I know that was a lot. I appreciate it. If you're a writer yourself, or hell even if you're not, say hi. I want to see what other writers are up to, I've already followed a few folks, but I'm excited to follow more. Have a great day.

#writer #writing blog #writeblr #writing #writeblr intro

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souldagger · 9 months

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Hey, I wanted to ask you about netgalley and how serious they take people being Professionals if they want to make an account. I'd love to make one but after reading through the FAQ I feel quite intimidated since I have no prior experience with reviewing books (would love to start through netgalley) and no review blog etc. to link them. Can I still make an account there or do they need some proof of reviews first on a blog or smth like that?

Hi there! long story short, don't stress about it - Netgalley's big secret is that it seems like it's for Influencers and Professional Reviewers with blogs/youtube channels Only™️, but that is straight up not true, they pretty much just let anyone in there lol

i'm gonna put some more detailed info under the read more!

so - you do need one (1) thing can link on your profile, but that's it, and it can be a Goodreads you just made earlier today (though adding a review or two so it's not completely empty is a good idea). or, alternatively: do you have a Tumblr/Twitter/Insta that you maybe occasionally mention books on? boom. you're a social platform reviewer. i mean, all i've got is this incredibly unprofessional Tumblr, my dead as hell Goodreads (that i made for the sole purpose of linking it to Netgalley), and Storygraph. the friend i found out about Netgalley from said xe literally only has a fake Goodreads account. also, Netgalley was my first experience with "proper" book reviews - so, yeah, no prior experience nor proof of being a reviewer required!

the one tip i'd give is to spend a little time on your Netgalley bio - that's ur chance to sell yourself as a Totally For Sure Professional Reviewer, even if you (or the accounts you linked) aren't. here's my attempt at bullshitting my way through it without technically lying, for example:

and apparently it's good enough to get a 50/50 acceptance/rejection rate on my book requests lol.

basically: don't feel intimidated, set up a Goodreads if you don't have any other social media to link, write a nice bio and you're good to go! sure, your book requests might get rejected more often than if you were a famous booktuber or smth, but no one's gonna stop you from signing up for not being professional or experienced enough :]

#hope that helps!!

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leighlew3 · 2 years

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Hi Leigh!

I hope you don't mind me asking this, but because of your knowledge of the industry, I'm genuinely curious about your thoughts on the whole Warrior Nun situation. With everything going on - fandom noise, all the articles, Netflix CEO commenting, etc - what do you, realistically, think is going to happen? Not only with the show itself but also within the industry. Like, do you think it will have an impact in any way? I've personally never witnessed a streaming service getting so much negative criticism before, but it reminds me of the time around Lexa's death on The 100 and all that followed. It feels like "bury your gays" turned into "cancel your gays" and if nothing else, I just hope all these WLW shows getting cancelled leads to some changes - but again, is that something you see happening?

Buckle up, this is gonna be a novel...

In all honesty if this was a couple years ago, or even just one year ago I would say it might make people less likely to drop LGBTQ shows, absolutely.

But with everything that’s happened over the last year… sadly, I think Hollywood will do what Hollywood so often does and take all the wrong lessons from this and become even more paranoid about greenlighting LGBTQ (and in particular wlw) shows in the first place, for fear if it doesn’t work out they’ll have a widespread backlash from the LGBTQ community and risk being labeled as homophobic. aka “We don’t have to worry about pissing people off with cancellations if we don’t make the shows in the first place.” aka “Not worth the trouble.” could be the perspective of people in charge in the coming days.

Lexa’s death on The 100 taught the lesson that it’s (generally) NOT okay to bury your gays. And then Supercorp on Supergirl sent the message that queerbait is outdated as hell, and just plain embarrassing and unacceptable now (aka either deliver and go there, or stop teasing it and state outright you never will).

So, I’d love to say Warrior Nun will teach people not to cancel wlw shows that have strong fanbase, but based on recent statements it’s clear that in this case they’re running with the (hard to buy) defense that it wasn’t successful and the fanbase was “small” (?!), or at least not successful and big enough for the budget it required to keep going. So between that + the many, many wlw shows that have been lost over the last year to cancellations... it’s pretty bleak right now, tbh. Recent events overall, even beyond WN, is just likely sending the message to TPTB that it’s risky doing shows featuring (lead especially) LGBTQ rep, in particular shows with wlw rep. It’s sending the message that wlw shows simply don’t perform to the level needed.

And rather than look at the REAL reason WHY something failed to reach a broader audience or meet someone’s invisible and undefined standards for renewal, TPTB in many cases could sadly chalk it up to “queer women don’t sell” even though there could be so many other reasons a show didn’t reach the level of audience they deem acceptable for a renewal, including but not limited to: bad or limited marketing by the network or streamer themselves and/or lack of time to garner a proper audience (a struggle many streamers have with their shows in general, even outside of LGBTQ rep), or maybe it’s on TPTB behind a show itself aka it simply had subpar writing and poor production value, or bad acting/casting, or lack of chemistry for the lead duo, or just plain terrible creative decisions (see The Wilds Season 2 making a show about girls into a show about boys) etc etc.

I mean, Dickinson was effing brilliant, fantastic casting and chemistry, incredibly clever and heartfelt writing, solid production value, overwhelmingly positive reviews -- but it never got the marketing it should have had. And thus it quietly came and went, left its mark on its core fans, but was at least able to end in the way they wanted if nothing else, after 3 short seasons.

Look, one of the most successful streaming series of all time that literally helped launch the format -- was the sapphic as hell Orange is the New Black. But OITNB was the perfect recipe. It was well written, fantastically cast, had organic buzz galore, award noms -- but it also had big marketing. It was the ideal alignment of ALL vital elements coming together to work.

And I think that show really paved the way for a lot more queer wlw content to emerge, and fill the streamers especially. Alas, sadly, the bubble burst. And it burst for many reasons, including political theater in real life and an attack on LGBTQ rights of late. But for two big reasons, from a strictly industry side: lack of proper marketing for some shows, and lack of quality from others.

I mean, let’s face it, some of the wlw series that have been axed the last year or two were not always high quality shows overall (I mean come on, some were on The CW for a reason). And it may seem like “But, cishet shows can be silly or cringey or lame and last for years!” Yes, absolutely. And that’s incredibly unfair that LGBTQ audiences can’t have shows that are just straight up camp or have mediocre writing or acting but are still loved by fans and last for a while. But that’s the hierarchy. It’s heteronormative bs and it’s not right, but it’s just how things are until we can successfully change them. The community has to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. And for LGBTQ BIPOC in particular, sadly one can stack those obstacles even more.

So, I think for the next few years, shows with wlw representation in the TV space (and otherwise) -- well, they’re going to have to check a LOT of boxes in terms of overall quality, casting, concept, execution, talent on screen and bts, etc and then be grabbed up by a partner that truly believes in it enough to properly promote it -- in order for it to stand a real chance at sticking around.

Warrior Nun had most of the elements above, alas much like Dickinson -- it just did not have the marketing support it needed. Meanwhile others shows had the marketing -- but honestly just weren’t that great in terms of quality, so fans simply didn’t latch on as much, and who could blame them.

And thus, here we are. So do I think the widespread backlash around Warrior Nun’s cancellation, and fans’ amazing efforts to fight back will have any lasting effect on how Hollywood makes cancellation decisions? In the past I would have said 100%. But for now, I sadly kinda doubt it, because its cancellation was just the latest (but arguably biggest) in a long list of cancellations.

If anything, right now Hollywood execs may actually feel emboldened to just go with the flow, take the social media fury from fans, and do what they’re gonna do -- with no regard for impact on the LGBTQ community. They also can hide behind the excuse of “Lots of shows and projects are being cancelled left and right, LGBTQ shows are no exception nor being specifically targeted, LGBTQ fans just don’t see the bigger picture. For every LGBTQ show canned, there’s 10 shows about straight people that are dead too.” And I say this -- because I had this said to me recently by someone with power in the industry. Alas what these people don’t understand is it’s NOT the same. Because LGBTQ content is so limited already that the community can’t afford to lose any more. And those 10 cishet shows that got the axe? They’ll just be replaced with 10 more next year. Meanwhile LGBTQ shows? Are less likely now to be greenlit after all this.

And that’s disheartening. And it’s not okay.

TLDR: I dunno how all of this will play out for sure. I HOPE the Warrior Nun situation changes something for the better, I just... right now, at this exact moment in time, I don’t feel super confident that it will. I think we just need to get through this painful period in LGBTQ media history and hopefully come out the other side better off somehow, likely after a show with wlw rep hopefully comes along soon that has both the quality AND marketing to truly succeed.

#lgbtq #representation matters #tv #hollywood

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