#i'm just absolutely losing it. how did they get this past the ratings

[thefirstknife]

Drifter: 'Ey, Thunderguns! How's it feel to be Taken? Sloane: Let's back up. What did you call me? Drifter: You... don't like it? Sloane: Why don't I put my Taken boot up your orifice, and then you can answer both those questions yourself? Drifter: Don't threaten me with a good time, sister. Ha ha!

How is this a real interaction. I am speechless. 10/10

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Uncle Jesse x fem reader!!!

where one night he plays a gig at a bar with his band and during a few songs he sings, they lock eyes and he’s really interested in her, so during his break he goes and talks to her and they hit it off. She invites him back to her place and things get a little steamy until her shirt rides up a bit and he sees bruises on her torso. (Insert protective Jesse!!) (tw abuse.) maybe you could use the line “the last guy was a little rough.” But Jesse knows those aren’t those kinds of bruises and that someone later their hands on her

Season 3/4 era

Sounds Good To Me

Fandom: Full House

Pairing: Jesse Katsopolis x Female Reader 

Characters: Jesse Katsopolis, Female Reader

Word Count: 1363 // Rating: Mature

Summary: Reader and Jesse get off to a good start until her past makes an unpleasant appearance 

Tags/ Warnings: Kissing, Requested Fic, Request, One Night Stand, Abuse, Physical Abuse, Physical Injuries, Bruising, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Angst, Protective Jesse, Jesse and The Rippers, Uncle Jesse, Set around Season 3/4

Notes: Here ya go @americaarse Hope you like it.

Just a memo other requests might be slow as I'm busy next week and this weekend. I'm going to be doing EP fics for his birthday so I'll be ignoring my inbox till they're done lmao

‘We’ve been Jesse and the Rippers! Thanks for coming out,’ Jesse said as a wave of cheers and applause rippled around the club. He left the stage and headed to the small dressing room the venue owner provided for them. It had been a good show. The crowd liked their material and they’d even managed to sell a good deal of CDs. But that hadn’t been the highlight of his night. No, the highlight of Jesse’s night had been the cute girl who’d been watching him throughout. She didn’t seem to be a fan of theirs, but rather someone who had attended the club they just happened to be playing at, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. And Jesse loved that. As the band packed up their stuff he headed out into the bar to get himself a drink.

He was standing at the bar, waiting to be served, when he felt someone appear beside him and turned to find the girl from before. She glanced at him and smiled. 

‘Hey,’ Jesse said.

‘Hey,’ she said with a soft smile, ‘great set. You guys are really cool.

‘We like to think so,’ he chuckled. 

‘I mean it. I wasn’t even gonna come out tonight but I’m glad I did,’ she said. 

‘Well how about I make your night a little better,’ he said. 

‘Oh yeah?’ she smirked, ‘how are you gonna do that?’ 

‘Well I’ll start by buying you a drink,’ he said with a smirk.

‘Sounds good to me,’ she smiled.

The guys had decided not to stay after the gig but Jesse didn’t much care. He was having a good time without them. He and Y/N had spent hours tucked away in a booth at the back of the club. She was a nice girl. Sweet, funny and smokin’ hot, just Jesse’s type. As the night wore on and the drinks flowed he found himself losing the thread of the conversation as he started getting distracted by her. The way she moved her hair out of her eyes. The way she smiled when she told him something funny. The way her lips formed a perfect pout as if begging for him to kiss her. She was telling him a story, enraptured in the tale, but he had no clue what was going on. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. 

She seemed to catch him staring and blushed, ‘what?’ she asked after a moment. Jesse didn’t say anything, instead, he leaned in and placed his hand on her cheek before he kissed her tenderly. She tensed for a moment and then melted into it allowing him to continue. He pulled her to him and rolled his tongue against her lip as if asking her to go further. She responded and soon enough they were making out. When she finally pulled back Jesse watched her carefully. She was smiling, though a little shy, and said, ‘wanna take this back to my place?’ 

‘Absolutely,’ he said. 

They left pretty sharpish after that, taking a cab to her apartment. Jesse figured it would probably be better than taking her home and having to explain why kids' toys littered every room in his house. Or having to explain to Joey and Danny who she was and why she was there. They were barely out of the cab before they were back on one another kissing one another as if their life depended on it. She forced them to break away so they could walk up to her apartment, though Jesse couldn’t help but come up behind her as she unlocked her door, kissing down her neck as his hands caressed her sides. 

Once they were inside they were back together trying to make their way to the bedroom without breaking apart for too long. His lips were everywhere, nipping and sucking along her neck as he pushed her jacket off her shoulders. As they got into the bedroom Jesse pulled his shirt off, watching as she climbed onto the bed, lying down and watching him with an inviting smile. 

‘Come here,’ she said beckoning him to her. Jesse didn't have to be told twice. He was on her in a shot, hovering over her as their lips reconnected. He made his way down her neck, his fingers tracing along the hem of her shirt before he hiked it up. She moved up so she could pull it off but as she did he noticed something. 

Across her stomach were deep purple bruises, tinged with green around the edges where they’d started to heal. He stopped in his tracks and so did she, noticing him staring at her. She could see what he was seeing and nervously pulled her t-shirt down so they were no longer on show. 

‘It’s fine,’ she said.

‘Those bruises-’

‘Aren’t a big deal,’ she said going to kiss him again but he pulled back until he was sitting up on the bed. She moved to sit up properly.

‘How did you…’ he said, trailing off mid-sentence. He had his own ideas. None of them good. 

‘Let’s just say the last guy was a little rough,’ she said quietly. Jesse felt rage flow through him. He hated bullies. No matter the context. Those who used their fists to get their point across rather than their words. They made him sick. And he didn’t know how anyone could lay a finger on her. They’d only known each other mere hours but it was clear to him how special she was. 

‘It’s fine,’ she said placing a hand on his knee, ‘and it doesn't have to ruin anything between us. I mean if the bruises bother you I’ll keep my shirt on.’

‘Bother me?’ Jesse baulked loudly making her wince, ‘sorry. Honey, I’m not bothered by them. Well the look of them anyway. I’m bothered by the person who did this to you. They shouldn’t be able to get away with this.’

‘It’s not a big deal,’ she said self-consciously. 

‘Yes it is,’ he said as he placed his hand on her knee, ‘you’re a great girl. And whoever this guy is he didn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve any woman.’

‘I know that,’ she said quietly. Jesse could see something behind her expression as if she wanted to say something but she was holding herself back whether in fear of him judging her or admitting to whatever it was. 

‘But?’ he said gently. She looked up at him panic-stricken, ‘you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.’ 

‘No it's okay,’ she said, ‘it’s just…I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t let him in but he talks me around. Every time I tell him it’s done and every time he lures me back in until something like this happens. Then it’s like I see sense. You must think I’m really stupid.

‘I don't think you're stupid. Guys like that are just good at getting their way. They know all the cards to play to make you trust them again. It doesn't mean you're stupid for believing they might be a decent human for once,’ he said. Y/N nodded. 

They sat in silence for a moment and she looked up at him with a meek smile as she said, ‘I bet this wasn’t the night you were planning on huh?’

‘Eh,’ he shrugged, ‘I had a good gig, a few drinks and I got to hang out with a pretty girl. I can’t complain.’ 

‘Still a bit of a mood killer though,’ she said. 

‘Maybe,’ he said, ‘but maybe it just gives us a chance to take another run at this whole first date thing.’

‘You wanna go on a date?’ she said.

‘Well, we did take this thing at a hundred miles an hour. Maybe we just need to slow down a little bit,’ he said with a smile. 

‘Sounds good to me,’ she replied.

‘Though,’ Jesse said, clearing his throat, ‘I’m still hoping for something.’

‘What’s that?’ she said in a whisper. 

‘That I can keep kissing you,’ he said, ‘just for a little while longer.’

‘Like I said. Sounds good to me,’ she replied.

[munsonslilbunnie]

little meadow | eddie munson x plus-size!reader

summary: a little fun with your favorite metalhead after a pretty picnic <3

pairing: eddie munson x plus-size!fem!reader

word count: 3.5k

warnings/cw/tw/notes about the reader: nothing rly bad, mainly fluff but gets a little nsfw towards the end. oral (f! and m! receiving). <3 minors DNI. not proofread or beta'd.

requested by: @prettyblondguys (i'm so sorry for how long this took, i hope you still end up liking it 😭)

: ¨ ·.· ¨ : · .. ·

ever since you and eddie got together, eddie has been adamant that you two have weekly little dates es. it didn’t matter to him what day or time, as long as you two had time to spend together – what with him still trying to graduate from hawkins high and you with your work schedule at the family video. 

recently, eddie had told you he found a pretty little meadow a bit away from his trailer park – it was absolutely perfect for what he had planned for you. he’s never been with someone who truly liked him – who didn’t go out with him based on a joke or a bet. when he met you, it was like everything fell into place and finally, something clicked right. you never once mocked him for what he liked, for how he dressed. you accepted him. you accepted him with all the scars, mental and physical, that he had. he never had to pretend to be someone else to keep you by his side. you cared for him in a way that still shocked him to this day – he never thought of himself as lucky, but here he was, with the most beautiful girl to ever appear in his life hanging on his arm and he swore now that he won in life. he’d do anything for you at this rate and he wouldn’t want to risk losing you. 

that’s why everything had to be perfect for your date. you two always flipped-flopped back and forth on whose turn it is to plan your weekly date and it just so happened that it was eddie’s turn. he was pretty excited for this one – he might have skipped a class or two to get things ready but everything’s worth it when it comes to you. 

it was finally friday, the day of your date, and eddie was pacing back and forth on his front porch, waiting for your car to appear in the distance, and when it finally did, he gave a little jump and rushed down the stairs, a (somewhat) beat-up wicker basket in his hands, a spare blanket thrown across the top of it. how he managed to find it, he doesn’t even remember at this point, but it was packed up to the brim with some essentials like, uh, food, of course. all of your favorites – ranging from a pack of fruit (watermelon and grapes), some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that he prepared himself (he even used that all-natural peanut butter shit that you admitted to liking), along with some cheap coolers that were all fruity flavors that you liked, and little extras that he threw in there last minute in case it wasn’t enough. it was the first picnic that he was taking you on and he wasn’t too sure what all he needed to bring, but this felt like it was enough, right?

the sound of your engine cutting off brought him back down to earth, your pretty smile emerging from inside your car as you stepped out, hair still slightly damp from the shower you must’ve taken after your shift before heading over to the trailer park. he felt himself gulp once he saw what you were wearing – a pretty, floral-looking sundress that barely brushed past mid-thigh, the straps tied into little knots at the top (something that his mind told him he could easily pull apart with one single tug–), and your feet covered by your white sandals. he suddenly felt underdressed with his attire – his regular hellfire shirt, sleeves bunched up to his elbows, with his ripped jeans and chains hanging on his belt loops, and his white reebok’s. he pretty much was wearing exactly what he usually does, but you didn’t seem to take notice as you made your way to him, thick arms wrapping around his neck and bringing him down slightly for a lingering kiss that stole his breath. 

a breathy grunt left him as he melted against your lips, the hand holding the wicker basket twitching as the other wrapped around your plush waist, tugging you forward against his body. this was always the highlight of his days – feeling your lips against his was something he looked forward to every day. he couldn’t wait for the day when he could wake up, with you by his side, and kiss you first thing in the morning with no regard to the morning breath. 

you pulled away far too quickly to his liking and it was evident by the pout on his lips. you giggled softly and ran your thumb against the pout, smoothing it away as you cooed quietly, “now, now. no pouting, baby. you have all day to get more kisses.” you teased him, feeling his hand start to inch its way down south, the tips of his fingers brushing against your ass for a split second before pulling away from his hold altogether, sending him an innocent smile at his fake glare. 

“you tease,” he playfully bit at you, to which you responded with your own fake glare before his lips stretched into a happy grin. “hope you’re ready, princess. swear you’re gonna like the place,” he started to say, his free hand holding onto yours as he tugged you off into the direction of the forest, you falling easily into line with him, trusting him. 

“i have no doubt that i will, baby,” you smiled brightly, finding how excited eddie seemed to be absolutely adorable. it’s not every day your boyfriend is this excited about planning a date (though he’s always excited about your dates, as long as you two were together, that’s all that seemed to matter to him). 

as eddie started to go on about how he accidentally found the meadow, it took you two less than a few minutes to find the exact area he found. you felt your breath hitch at how serene the area looked – it felt as if it came straight out of a romance novel, what with how the sun was shining down the perfect amount, not directly in the middle of the meadow, but scattered enough where it was making some of the wildflowers look like they were glistening. you could hear the sound of wildlife out in the background, and while some of the flowers looked overgrown, they didn’t quite stop looking so beautiful in your eyes. you felt your lips tug up into a shy smile, eddie continuing to tug you towards the middle of the meadow, closer to a patch of ground that didn’t have as much overgrown grass. 

he let your hand go for a moment to spread the blanket down, smoothing out the creases before putting the wicker basket down on one corner, in case of any wind. once he was satisfied with it, he nodded his head and toed off his shoes, before stepping onto the blanket, a hand outstretched towards you. he flashed you a smile and bent slightly at his waist, “m’lady.” 

your cheeks flushed slightly at the action, but played along with him, gently placing your hand on his and curtsied, your other hand lightly clutching onto your dress, “m’lord.” 

he gave you a satisfied grin, bending down to help you take off your sandals, before tugging you over towards the middle of the blanket, maneuvering you to plop down next to him, your legs now thrown over his outstretched legs with an arm thrown around your waist.

“so… what do ya think?” eddie asked, looking at you with a slightly nervous smile. he knew you usually liked everything he did for your dates, but he was nervous that maybe you didn’t quite like this one as much as he thought you might. his hand settled on your knee, rubbing it slightly as he tried not to outright show his nervousness as he waited for your response. 

“what do i think?” you gaped in surprise before exclaiming happily, “eddie, this is amazing! i had no idea such a pretty place would be hiding in plain sight, and so near to you, too! i love it, eddie. thank you for taking the time to find it and plan everything out like this, baby.” you cooed softly, your hand cupping his cheek and smoothing out his nervous smile, giving him praise after praise. you could see the way his dark, doe-like eyes lit up at your words and it brought you such joy that you, or rather your words, were the cause for such reaction. this man made you so happy, you’d do everything in your power to return the favor. 

“fuck, ‘m so glad, princess,” he let out a breath of relief, feeling a sense of tension finally elevating itself from his shoulders. he didn’t even realize how nervous he was to hear your thoughts, but now knowing that you only had positive things to say, made him feel a lot better. he was not an overly cheesy or affectionate boyfriend, at least, he didn’t think so, so sometimes he was left with a sense of uncertainty on whether or not he was doing this ‘boyfriend’ thing right. 

he flashed you another smile before starting to pull out the food he prepared for you two – you helping him spread out the items while chatting away about your day at work, talking about robin and steve, and eddie adding into the mix about his own day, about the campaign that he had planned for the boys, about the new thriller film he’s been itching to watch with you. the chatter between you two was comfortable and easy, as it always was. this is why eddie fell in love with you in the first place – everything with you was easy. it wasn’t always perfect, you two had your own arguments here or there, but it’s not like you two stayed mad at each other for too long. the first time you fought, he was for sure positive that that was it, that you were going to break up with him, but you had surprised him when you showed up to the hideout that same night and demanded you two talked about it like adults because ‘there is no way in hell i’m going to let us break up over a shitty misunderstanding’. he got into his head sometimes and you did the same, but you both always pushed through it. eddie’s never had a healthy relationship, so this was still all new territory to him – but he was just glad that it was with you that he was experiencing this. 

maybe it was easy because he loves you and vice versa – whatever it was, he’s grateful. 

the rest of the afternoon was spent eating the food, with you playfully feeding eddie grapes and with him complaining about how there were too many nuts in that all-natural shit you liked, which just ended up with you two giggling out of control at how laughable he sounded. the sun soon set and all that was left was the moonlight shining through the trees, you and eddie now laying on the blanket, your legs tangled up together as you both stared up at the moon. 

a happy sigh escaped your lips as you turned your head to lay it against his chest, his fingers gently tracing lines down your arm. “this has been perfect,” you mumbled softly against his chest, leaving a kiss over where his heart is. you could feel the skip of his heart and it made you giggle, looking up at him with a grin as you propped your chin on his chest to look at him properly. 

“yeah? maybe we should do this more often then, ya know?” he mumbled, his hand going up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, his other hand cupping your cheek, to which you nuzzled up against it. “we’re in our own little world out here.” he commented, trying his best not to smirk at the furrow of your brows at his words. 

“are we, now?” you rose a brow at him, knowing exactly where the man was going with this. but there was no denying the way it excited you as you watched his dark, intense eyes stare into yours, both hands gripping your waist. a surprised yelp came from you as he hauled you onto his lap, your thick thighs now straddling him with your hands keeping you upright by pressing them next to his head on the blanket. 

your heaving chest was the perfect distance away from his face, your cheeks now flushed red as you stared down at him. the look he gave you was sending shivers down your spine, a little wet patch growing in your panties. “eddie,” you whispered softly, your hips rolling slightly against the growing tent in his pants, but the grin he gave you made you pause. 

“not yet, princess. i wanna taste my dessert first,” eddie mumbled, his voice now deepened into a husk as his hands gripped your waist even tighter, pulling you further up into a sitting position, your thighs now moved forward to settle on each side of his face. 

if possible, your face burned even brighter, your hands landing on top of the wicker basket as it helped you keep your balance. “eddie!” was all you could get out before it dissolved into a whiny cry as you felt his tongue flattened against your panties, the only barrier left between him and your pretty cunt. it used to make you insecure – with him wanting you to sit on his face, and you protesting because you were afraid that your weight would, quite literally, suffocate him, but he was anything if persistent and after the first time, you found that it was one of his favorite positions to have you. 

the man didn’t even bother to respond – his fingers bunched up your dress to your hips, before moving down to push your panties to the side, eyes gazing up at you at his tongue flattened against your clit, swirling it around the nub before giving it a gentle suck. your whimpers filled the forest, echoing throughout the quiet night. 

“more, please,” you gave into the pleasure, your hips grinding down against his mouth. his nose nudged against your clit, taking in a deep breath of your heady smell before his groan filled the air, as well. 

“with pleasure, babydoll,” came his clipped response, before eddie pulled you flushed to his mouth, his tongue lapping at your puffy cunt. your cries of pleasure indulged him, thrusting his tongue inside that perfect cunt of yours in the way that he knew would make you see stars soon enough. his fingers dug into your fleshy thighs, nails raking down your stretch marks. he tried to pull you as close as possible, your velvety walls fluttering around his tongue as if it was his cock, which was straining in his own jeans. but this was about you right now. he’s been dying to taste you since the moment you walked out of your car –  he could hardly wait any longer. 

you, on the other hand, were having a hard time keeping still, your hips squirming and your nails digging into the wicker basket, that creaked under the force. whine after whine tumbled from your lips, trying your best not to squeeze your thighs together, but eddie was making it hard for you not to. one of your hands shot down to tangle itself into his hair, tugging at his curls when you wanted him to go faster, the man eagerly responding as his tongue thrust faster and deeper inside your cunt, his thumb rubbing quick circles around your clit just the way you liked it. if he kept it up, there was no way that you were going to last. he always had a way when it came to making you cum easily. 

but you didn’t want it to end so soon. you lifted your hips slightly with shaky thighs, the man underneath you groaning in disappointment before it turned into a choked-out grunt when you flipped yourself around, your back now facing him. 

“princess, what are you – fuck!” eddie couldn’t quite finish his question when he saw you bend down, your leaking cunt hovering over his face, soft, doughy tummy pressed against his chest and your own face now hovering over his aching cock, your soft hands tugging the shaft out of his pants. 

“i wanna have my fun, too,” you pouted with feigned innocence, looking behind him all cutely. the straps of your dress had come undone from your squirming, the fallen top now revealing your pretty tits to the cold night’s air. “wanna take care of you,” you let out a happy sigh, lightly blowing against the angry red tip of his cock, laying kiss after kiss against it before lapping at the precum with your tongue. 

“oh fuck, yeah – yeah, whatever you want, baby,” all eddie could do was whimper as he let you have your way. but that didn’t mean he was done. before he could let out any more whimpers, he tugged you back down on his face, his tongue lapping at your juices, switching back and forth from your clit to thrusting his tongue inside your cunt, over and over, before thrusting two thick digits along with his tongue now. he knew how much you loved feeling full, filled to the brim to the point it was overwhelming, and he just loved indulging your desires. 

tears of sensitivity were already starting to prick the corner of your eyes at the way eddie was assaulting your cunt, a thin line of drool slipping past your lips. you squeezed your eyes shut before finally wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock, letting out a loud moan, sending vibrations down the shaft as you took him inch by inch, the tip grazing the back of your throat before pulling away altogether, your hand stroking him at a fast pace. you kept doing this over and over again, multiple times, teasing the squirming man underneath you. the moment you would feel him thrust into your mouth, you’d pull away, giving only little kitten licks against the veins that ran along his cock, his strained moans music to your ears. 

it wasn’t until you felt his fingers hit that sweet, sweet spot inside of you that you finally gave in, filling your mouth with his cock. you bobbed your head up and down, one of your hands pushing your hair away from your face while the other gently tugged and played with his balls. when he thrust his hips upwards, you didn’t pull away this time. you let it happen, feeling the tip hit the back of your throat and causing you to gag, a loud curse escaping eddie’s lips at the way your throat contracted around his cock. your eyes watered even more, but you let eddie continue to fuck your face, trying your best to breathe through your nose. you could feel your cunt start to flutter sporadically and with the way eddie’s hips were starting to falter, you knew he was close to the end too. 

you closed your eyes tightly, eddie’s arms now wrapped around your thighs and cunt pulled flushed against his face. his fingers slammed against your sweet spot one more time and you snapped, your loud cry coming out as a muffled sound around his cock, drenching eddie’s mouth, to which he lapped to the best of his ability. when his hips finally sputtered weakly, once, twice, he finally gave way to pleasure and emptied himself inside your eager mouth, his balls twitching with how much he’s been holding off thus far. 

your body finally gave way and fell limp over his legs, mouth pulled away from his softening cock. you swallowed what you had in your mouth, before coughing lightly as your body grew relaxed on top of him.

all that filled the air was a mixture of both of your pants, your thighs trembling from the intensity of your orgasm. when you finally had enough energy, you managed to twist yourself around again and fell in place by his side, his arms instantly wrapping themselves around your body and tugging you closer, warming you up. 

“shit, i’ll never get tired of that,” eddie sounded slightly hoarse, a cheeky grin on his lips as he tilted his head down to stare at you, wiggling his brows in a playful manner. 

your cheeks flushed more than they already were and you playfully smacked his chest, giggling at the offended look he shot you, “swear i need to stop giving into you so easily!” 

“don’t pretend you didn’t love it! remember, you were the one who said you wanted to try it in someplace public, would you rather do it in the pool–!”

“eddie, shut up!” 

“i will if you sit on my face again–”

[blue-rose-soul]

OBSESSED with your au. It sounds absolutely hilarious. How do you think Alastor would react to finding out first? Or Lucifer?

Cackling, I'm glad you enjoy it! It was just a random semi-cursed thought in my head that I was afraid only I would find funny so I'm glad you enjoy it!

Alastor finds out first: Basically just a crack-ish version of what happens in canon. "Sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud," Alastor says while making direct eye contact with Lucifer. Lucifer doesn't get it. Alastor probably figured it out only after he arrived in Hell, when he realized how much more powerful he was than other Sinners and realized Lucifer's appearance near exactly matched his mother's description of her 'angel.' (The only disguise Lucifer gave himself on Earth were ears and a nose. He even wore the same clothing.) Alastor has zero intention of telling Lucifer. He did just fine growing up without that lowlife dead beat, thank you very much, he's just angry on his dear maman's behalf, since she's the one who had to deal with being a single mother to a mixed-race child in a hostile world.

Lucifer has all the power in the world, but he left Nicaise to fend for herself.

Even when Lucifer moves into the hotel and starts trying to be more involved in Charlie's life, Alastor continues to make subtle jabs about Lucifer being a dead beat husband and parent. Lucifer only starts to put things together when Alastor makes an offhand remark about how many children Lucifer 'must' have running around on Earth given his past behavior. (That early 1900s Mardi Gras wasn't the only time Lucifer's had a wild time on Earth, but the conception rate between humans and angels is very very very low.)

Lucifer finds out first: So canon happens, Alastor's still being a dick to Lucifer, but it's mostly for various other reasons, like Lucifer overshadowing him in power, as well as being 'similar to' Alastor's absentee dad, etc. But Alastor has zero clue that Lucifer actually is his maman's angel, and Lucifer has zero clue that nice lady from that parade a hundred-ish years ago had his kid.

The extermination happens. Adam dies, the hotel's rebuilt, Lucifer moves in. Antagonism happens. One night Alastor volunteers to make dinner and he decides to make his mother's jambalaya recipe. Everyone genuinely enjoys Alastor's cooking so even though he's skeptical, Lucifer tastes it.

Lucifer knows this taste. He's had jambalaya a few times before, he developed a liking for it after that Mardi Gras, but he knows this jambalaya specifically. (Angels have good memories.)

He stares at Alastor.

No.

No, he couldn't be...

Cue Lucifer staring at Alastor whenever he thinks he isn't looking, searching for familiar traits in Alastor's face, asking him not-entirely-subtle questions about his life on Earth, trying to find some evidence that Alastor is NOT the result of a drunken one-night stand he had a hundred years ago. Lucifer is PANICKING at this point because: Did he cheat on his wife? Betray his family? Did he have a son all this time he just abandoned? Did his kid grow up to be a warped, sadistic, serial murderer because he wasn't there? Oh fuck, is he a dud parent!?

Alastor, meanwhile, is very, very confused by Lucifer's increasingly erratic and panicked behavior. He doesn't even have to needle Lucifer for the king of hell to turn into a jittering mess these days and as much as he enjoys watching Lucifer lose his shit, he's also rather annoyed by how irrational it is.

The other hotel residents notice Lucifer's weird behavior around Alastor because obviously. Angel Dust cracks a joke about Lucifer wanting Alastor to call him 'daddy' and Lucifer promptly vomits all over the carpet.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hi Elanor, we met briefly on the taping of your husband's fringe show and you were super nice, no good deed etc. I'm pretty sure I've seen you post about lecturing at a uni.

I've been thinking about heading back to uni for a master's, with the possibility of a career shift into academia after, but I'm somewhat wary of the lack of job security with fixed term contracts and such, and just generally unsure how one goes about getting a job teaching at uni. Most people I know in academia are primarily interested in research, with the idea of lecturing being mostly incidental, I'm almost the other way around.

How did you get started in your field, and how much of that do you think applies to new entrants today? Did you have to/get to make a choice between research and lecturing? Any insight you might have, or a starting point for further research would be greatly appreciated.

Hello again! It was lovely meeting you!

Sure, yes, so, my path in began as an HPL - an hourly paid lecturer. A colleague on my old degree course was signed off work with stress, so another old lecturer of mine was asking if any graduates wanted to do a bit of lecturing to cover him. It coincided with my job losing its main funding and so going to part time hours, so it worked.

It started as one module for one semester. Which became the module for the year, then two and a half the following year, then four the next two years. And then, under UK law, if you hold an HPL contract with the same institution for four years, they have to give you a proper contract, so now I'm on a permanent four days a week with full lecturer status.

And then if you do it that way round i.e. become a lecturer before holding a teaching qualification, the uni will pay to put you through a PCET - I'm due to finish my PCET in May this year.

HPL work... Well. There are advantages and disadvantages to this approach. HPLs are the lecturing equivalent of hospital cleaning staff - absolutely vital and chronically overlooked and underpaid. It's a zero hours position, so you get paid only for the time you spend actually delivering the lectures, at a rate (IIRC it was about £33 per hour?) that assumes one hour's prep for every two hours lecture. Needless to say, prepping a two hour lecture takes longer than an hour. You also don't get paid for the marking you do, and you receive basically no guidance on how to actually teach - best case scenario is that they can give you copies of the lecture slides used by previous academics in the role, which you can use as a guide or amend to your liking. And the final topping on the shit cake is that HPL contracts run for a semester at a time, so they very much fall into the 'precarious employment' bracket.

But, as I say, you can very quickly make yourself indispensable, and then after four years they have to give you a contract. Or, you just do it to mine it for the experience for a CV. I've known people who did HPL work for two unis at once while studying a PCET and then walked into a proper position in a third elsewhere.

Because the other root is to get a Masters, get a PCET (as part of which you need to do a placement anyway), and then apply for lecturer roles. Again, advantages and disadvantages - these days, lecturer roles are hotly contested. But it's very possible, I know many who have done it.

So! Regarding the other part of your question!

Some universities are more teaching focused, others are more research focused, some are a bit of both. If you know that the main thing you want to do is the teaching part, then you want to give priority to the universities that are more teaching focused themselves. These are usually the non-Russell Group prestigious ones, particularly the ones with a slightly more local student body. Anything with a qualifier like 'Metropolitan' after its name, either now or in the recent past, is a good idea - in Wales, for example, UWTSD includes the old Swansea Met, USW includes the old Cardiff Met, etc. Those are more teaching focused institutions (and therefore better at serving non traditional students, too, especially disabled ones), so in career terms, those are handy to shoot for.

(Also, those can have high turnovers of research academics by contrast. So it's usually relatively easy to get HPL work from them to plug employment gaps.)

Anyway - that's me. Good luck if you do decide to try it! Let me know if you have any other questions

[joels6string]

bestie, i'm so thrilled that you've begun digging your talents into Joel Miller. this idea has been plaguing me for the past few days, and i feel like you'll literally kill me with whatever you come up with, should you want to explore it—

What happens when Joel and the reader are separated, and he's absolutely certain that she's dead (and of course this angsty man blames himself) ... only for them to finally be reunited?

(Extra spice, please)

This idea had also been plaguing me so thank you for forcing me to act on it💜 I wanted to add that spice, but it just didn't organically make it in, unless spice is Joel Miller going feral and ruthless to find you. Then it's spicy.

Lost and Found

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel is willing to stop at nothing to find you when you go missing.

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.1k

Content: TLOU-level violence (which is high), angst, Joel Miller tortures a man for info, hurt/comfort, shared shower

“Where are they?!” Joel roared, fists entwining in his brother’s jacket, long strides closing the distance between Tommy and the wall behind him until the two collided with a ruthless slam.

“I don’t know! All right!? That what you wanna hear?” Tommy lamented, his hands going up in surrender as he locked his fear-filled eyes with the hazel burning with rage inches from his own.

The room was silent, too silent. No one dared speak a word, not with Joel in his current state. That was a death wish, something Tommy had known before his heavy boot steps had been heard rounding into the building. Despite knowing exactly how his brother would react to the news he’d been given, it did nothing to prepare him for what he faced now.

“You find ‘em,” the growl was menacing and low, “You go out there and you don’t come back here until you have her or you’re carried back dead. Do you understand me?”

Joel would be going out alone. He knew himself well enough that the dangers to himself by going alone outweighed the risk everyone else faced if they got in his way. He’d warned them it was a bad idea. He’d said it, multiple times in fact, but no one had listened and now you and Maria were missing. Just gone. And he’d done nothing to stop it.

The thought of forbidding you to head out beyond the safe walls of Jackson had passed through his mind when you’d brought it up. Sure, you were tough and you could handle yourself, you knew your way around a shotgun and a bow alike, but something that morning had felt off. When you’d let him know you and Maria were heading out to meet a few traders, a brisk 'no' had danced on the tip of his tongue, followed by an offer to accompany you, but he’d laid his suspicions to rest and let you go. And look where that had gotten him, hopping onto the back of a horse to search for you in the wilderness after your two-hour trip had dragged on to eight, then ten, and now open-ended. 

You had to be dead. And he knew what you were keen to get to those traders for. For him. He’d been scraping the bottom of his coffee jar for two days now, leading you and your kind gestures and undying affection for him into the hands of God knows who. 

“I’m goin’ with you,” a familiar voice called out from behind him, Joel’s teeth gnashing together at the sound, “You can’t carry ‘em both on that horse.”

“Me too,” another announced, one that elicited an entirely different reaction that was swelling in his chest, finding resistance only from the rage that had consumed him.

“Ellie, no,” Joel sighed, his eyes finding the teenager prepping her saddle, “I can’t–”

Lose you, too.

It had been a losing battle, both Tommy and Ellie riding out of the gates of Jackson to hunt you and Maria down along with a few other small teams, Joel’s steaming temper bringing all available hands on deck and ready to help. When the sun had set and not a trace of you had been found, not even Ellie dared speak some reason into him once the door to his house slammed shut. As the sun began to peek above the mountains after a sleepless night he was in the stables, Tommy hot on his heels as they readied for another long day. A long day that once again turned up nothing, Joel’s fist pounding against the solid wood of the barn as he bellowed an agonizing cry before slinking to his knees, breath ragged and strained.

“We’ll find ‘em, Joel,” Tommy soothed from behind him, keeping a safe distance still, “One way or another.”

Dead or alive.Why had he let you go? 

The house felt like you when he returned alone and despondent once again as the last light of the day had disappeared. Your favorite flannel that had once belonged to him still lay draped over the back of the handmade kitchen chair, your coffee mug sat unwashed on the counter still half full, and the flowers he’d picked for you the day before you’d disappeared had begun to wilt in their vase, he couldn’t be here. But there was nowhere else to go.

“Joel?” a meek voice echoed from the door, only one person was granted an open door policy here, “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, kiddo,” he sighed, putting the mask he’d begun to let fall back into place, “You all right?”

“Are you?”

“I’m good."

But he wasn’t. And everyone knew it.

The sight of smoke overnight had given Joel, Tommy, and the rest of the search party a new destination, a typically abandoned sector showing signs of life that hadn’t been there previously. It was better than nothing. The horses got them there as the sun hit its highest point, the stunned faces not expecting visitors quickly made lifeless at the end of Joel’s revolver, Tommy’s cries to wait falling on deaf ears.

“We don’t know who these people are!” Tommy scolded, trying to reason with his brother in any way he could.

“I don’t need to,” Joel sneered, his predatory gaze falling on the one man he’d left with a bullet hole only in the knee as he hopped down from the saddle and stalked over, the final bullet of his revolver clicking into the barrel, “You have two women. Where are they?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” his victim replied, voice high and strained, his gaze growing wider as a sinister grin stretched across the face of the man towering above him.

“Let’s try again.”

In one quick, fluid movement, Joel had lowered to one knee, the sharp silver of his favorite switchblade sinking effortlessly into the meat of the thigh to his left, his gun unwavering in its aim between the eyes. The excruciating scream that erupted into the trees was like a symphony, repressed instincts clawing up from the graves he’d buried them beneath when undertaking this new version of life. Maybe he’d missed this…

“Where are they?” he asked again, twisting his hand just enough to elicit another shriek.

“I don’t know,” was the panting response again, “I really don’t. I saw… I saw a group with two women yesterday, they had ‘em tied up. They were talking about some cabin to shack up in up the mountain. I swear that’s all I know.”

Another twist, another cry, the oozing blood warm on the side of his hand, “I reckon you know I ain’t that stupid. I’m askin’ one more time… Where are they?”

“Joel…” Tommy cautioned, but Joel didn’t hear him, he could feel the tip of his blade scraping at bone.

“You’re gonna kill me either way,” the man panted, sweat dripping down his temple.

“Yeah,” Joel confirmed, icy and detached, “I am. But how you answer determines if I make it quick or I take my sweet time.”

“Search the area!” That plea had been enough to convince Tommy and he dispersed the small crew they’d brought along, staying behind himself to monitor Joel and collect as much intel as he could.

“Who lets two women out on their own like that?” Pain-induced delirium was setting in, maniacal laughter erupting from his chest, “I assume one is yours? Is it Maria? The other one wouldn’t give us her name, matter of fact, that one’s gotta be yours.”

“Where is she?” This level of insolence deserved a new wound, Joel quickly retracting his blade and forcing a new entrance higher than the last.

“Maybe you’ll find her. Maybe you won’t.”

“Joel!” a call from the distance broke him from his trance, “Tommy!”

“Leave him,” Joel instructed towards the heap of a man he’d damaged beyond walking ability or repair as he stood, “He can find his own way.”

It was like getting the first breath of air after being underwater when he reached a shoddy tent to find you being pulled from the shelter and walking on your own two feet alive and well. He didn’t care he’d whimpered loud enough for his fellow patrolmen to hear, he took off in a sprint and scooped you up into his arms, your body going limp in his safe hold.

“Joel,” you whimpered as your head fell to the crook of his neck, your fingers twisting in his shirt as you gripped him with as much life as you had left, “Knew you’d find me.”

“Always.”

His arms were the only thing keeping you upright as he made space at the front of the saddle for you to lean back against him for the long ride home, one tightly wrapped around your waist as the other held onto the leather horn caged you in. The steady sway of the horse’s trot paired with the warmth you’d been denied for days pressed into your back had you dozing within minutes, your eyelids as heavy as the lead that lay scattered in your captors’ bodies. You’d caught a glimpse of the carnage on your way out despite Joel’s best attempts to shield you from the darkness you knew he was capable of.

“I got you, darlin’,” Joel cooed into your hair, “Sleep. You’re all right now.”

When you woke the smell of antiseptic hit you square in the nose, your eyes needing less adjustment after black had settled over the town. Tommy and Maria were nestled into the other section of the room, the chair beside you empty.

“He’s gone home,” Tommy informed, the rustling of your sheets cueing him onto your consciousness, “Didn’t think you’d be up so soon. But you’re clear to go if you feel all right. I can walk ya.”

The walk with Tommy was silent although you knew he had questions, but he had enough couth to know now wasn’t the time. You wondered if you’d get the same treatment at home. You didn’t have long to ponder it, the glow of your house’s lights visible after a short five-minute walk.

Your legs were still too sore to even jog, but the anticipation of burying yourself into Joel had your heart hammering. 

“Take it easy,” Tommy chuckled as he steadied you on the path, “He ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

A breath full of lavender greeted you as you opened your front door, the familiar sight the most wondrous thing you’d seen in quite some time. It was cozy and warm, Joel’s handiwork event over every inch of the space after years of work. You could hear the shower running, the steady stream calling out to you as your feet shuffled exhaustedly across the hardwood, your fingers barely able to grip the doorknob as you turned it. 

Steam damn near shrouded you completely as Joel’s head poked out from behind the curtain, his gray hair matted down around his head and ears, his mouth falling open in shock and relief as you slipped your filthy clothes off slowly, the sliver of his chest visible from behind the barrier enough to continue fueling your movements. Your skin was sullied and caked with dirt, your hair a brambled mess, but he welcomed you into the warm water gently, his hands running over your arms, shoulders, and back as he wiped you clean, your head unable to prevent lolling forward to press against the defined pec it aligned perfectly with.

“Lemme do your hair,” he cooed, the thought of his thick fingers scraping against your scalp already drawing a relieved sigh from your lips.

His slow scratches and scrubs almost had your knees giving out, but you managed to stay upright long enough for him to wash away all the final souvenirs of your captivity, his hands reclaiming your being and soft assurances soothing your battered, wearied soul. He dressed you in just panties and one of his t-shirts before slipping his favorite sleep pants on and carrying you to the bed just as he’d whisked you to safety earlier that day, your pillow soft beneath your head as he curled up behind you, a heavy arm wrapping you up tightly.

“You ain’t leaving these gates without me,” he growled into your soaked strands, “Never again.”

There would be no arguments from you.

“Thought I’d lost ya,” he murmured, you could still hear the anguish in his voice even through the walls he tried to trap it behind, “I can’t...”

“I know,” you exhaled, your fingernails raking through the coarse hair covering his forearm, “You can run the errands from now on.”

The breathy chuckle that hit your shoulder was comfort enough, a press of his lips to the hollow behind your ear the last thing you remembered before dozing off in his unwavering hold.

Joel Miller Masterlist

[mobiuslab]

Reverse: 1999 seems unreal; too good to be true.

The reason I even took notice of it in the first place was its soundtrack. I hate jazz, but they made a jazz song that I actually like, and then there's ReReReRegulus!, what a banger. And then I watched the trailer, to get a feel of what the game is even about. First of all, the accents! Hello? I normally always play games in JP, but this game seems to be set not in some fictional world, but in our real world, in the real London, so the British English dub would be so much more immersive (but of course there are a lot of familiar JP seiyuu, I'm very conflicted.) If this game, unlike Genshin, has a good voice director, who actually does their work and tells the VA's how the character is supposed to sound, I might play in English tbh. As a former FGO player, traveling to the past isn't an entirely novel concept to me, however, we are going to the 20th century, which is quite interesting. I mean, think about it, the 20th century of our real world, there are so many fascinating historical events. And it seems that they are putting in much more effort in portraying the zeitgeist of the era than FGO ever did. The artistic direction seems to be on point for this game. Apparently there is a main character, with a canon personality and fully voiced dialogue. Hoyo making Honkai Impact 2.0's new MC a self-insert was the stupidest move, and I'm so glad that this game understands how much better a canon protagonist is. It really convinces me that they care about storytelling and characterization. The general artistic direction is so impressive, but the game itself also surprises me. The base rate of 6-stars is 1.5% (compared to Genshin and Star Rail's 0.6%) AND the soft pity starts at 60, with hard pity being at 70. There doesn't seem to be a weapon gacha and the dupes only increase skill multipliers instead of completely changing how a character can be played. At first, I thought it was unfortunate that pick-up rate was only 50%, but every character joins the standard pool, so losing the 50/50 won't be nearly as bad. Unless the gacha currency economy is completely fucked, this seems extremely generous. The combat is thankfully not one of those god-awful auto-fights like Blue Archive or PriConne, but it's turn-based, which is much more engaging, allowing for challenging battles that actually pick your brain and require some skill.

However, there is an auto-mode for the mundane stuff, and get this, you can record your actions, rather than having an AI do everything wrong. And thankfully, there is no PvP, so you don't need to compete with whales. Knowing all this, I really have to wonder, where is the catch? There must be some huge flaw, right? It is as if the devs of Reverse: 1999 looked at all the complaints and criticism of all other gacha games, and just decided to address all of them. As long as the game doesn't have a huge reliance on meta characters to clear endgame content and event-limited content and the writing doesn't absolutely suck, then this game might be the perfect gacha game. I'm so excited to give it a try!

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 5)

In which Tav goes a long way to assure everyone around there's no one but Astarion for her and the vampire has a staring contest with a dude-bro (and responds to it with a solid "Don't touch me!").

That's it, that's the chapter summary - I'm starting to get confused with the parts because there are (lemme count) EIGHT already written and at least a few more to go... You can read more already on my AO3 page!

There's no specific song for this chapter, but I'll happily share my ever-growing playlist that helps me write: Astarion: The Pale Elf

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Legitimate reaction of Astarion meeting Tav's former fling...)

(Wonderful gif from here!)

Astarion kept grinning at you and obviously enjoying your uneasiness – oh, you were definitely going to murder him, when this night was over.

Daegin kept babbeling towards Eodin, you quickly looked through your fingers to see that the damned man was actually approaching. With a sudden jolt you stepped close to Astarion, put both your hands on either side of his face. The vampire only had a split second of looking askingly at you before you started absolutely smothering him with his kisses.

He didn’t lose a moment to kiss you back, he never did. In fact, he loved every single bit of intimacy the two of you shared, especially since he’d been free of Cazador’s callings and had started to learn to share intimacy outside sex and the bedroom with you. Accepting love and affection for what they could be at face level was something he tried hard to become good at. So truly every touch, every look, every soft smile was deeply precious to Astarion.

Just after a second or two he got your intention and put his arms around you to pull you closer. You let your hands wander to his chest, enjoying the way your body fitted with his and almost got lost in the moment.

You two obviously were a show to watch – it surely didn’t help that Astarion had a strong inclination for hedonism despite his past. Or even more so since he was now free to indulge in it on his own accord. You’d come to enjoy this way more than you were ready to admit. So, you happily sighed into his open mouth, when he dragged a finger from your cheek, down your neck and then softly placed his long, elegant fingers on your throat in an affectionate but still possessive manner. Your pulse quickened – even after being with him for a while, you hadn’t wrapped your head around how he could be so easily seductive, elegant and sexy without it being even remotely gross or cringy.

The longer the moment kept drawing out the more you could feel the heat inside you once more. The vampire had already stirred the fire without fully setting it ablaze once before tonight. You really hoped he wouldn’t let it just die down.

While the wood and the high elf were at it, the rest of the evening party watched on. Daegin blushed and buried his whole face in his jug of beer, obviously very uncomfortable. Lira’s eyes widened, her mouth opened to a giant ‘O’ before she slapped both her hands over it. And Miyena’s mouth opened slightly, her tongue darting out to wet her lips.

And then the one called Eodin stepped up to the table. He was human, tall and broad shouldered with short auburn hair. Not un-handsome, but quite forgettable. He too seemed uneasy at the very public display of affection, so he cleared his throat and softly knocked on the table to make himself known.

You kept the kiss with Astarion going, letting your hands wandering dangerously low his front, only just stopping at the very top of his leather pants. Then you broke the kiss and turned around, cheeks all flushed and out of breath.

“Oh, Eodin! I didn’t even see you there. Sorry, I was caught up in the moment”, you said, fanning yourself with your hand and batting your eyelashes at Astarion who had now also turned to look at the new arrival. Astarion looked down at you, biting his tongue hard to not burst out laughing – you cheeky little pup. You really had learned from the master himself, Gods, was he proud of you. He quickly let his wander his hand to your behind to give you proud and thankful little pat-pat, but just so no one else would notice.

Eodin slow blinked at you, keeping his face neutral. But you’d known him long enough to recognize the line of his mouth seemed tense and he was majorly displeased by what he had just witnessed. He didn’t miss a beat though: “So good to see you, I didn’t know you were back in the city.” He let the sentence end ambivalently – not really a question, but not really a statement either. “Ah you know, I really had my hands full” – another small pat from Astarion on your back “and I had certain affairs to sort out” – pat-pat – “but I swear I had come around to say hello and catch you up one of these days.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest, his discontent now showing more clearly. The rest of the party was dead silent, they could feel the tension in the air. Eodin just kept silent and stared you down, which already started to make your blood boil. Who in the hells was he to treat you like this?

“And who might this noble gentleman be, you were so caught up in?”, he said and turned to the vampire, cold venom in his voice. “The name’s Astarion – though I am not as noble a gentleman you might’ve mistaken me for, I fear”, the elf replied, his voice icy and his stance beside you turning threatening. “No wonder, the likes of these rich, pretty know-it-all-have-it-alls never survives long in this part of city. Would take a real bastard to walk around all cocky confident and not run into trouble and get themselves killed”, Eodin spat back. “Oh, I am no stranger to trouble, but it’s usually the other party that has to fear ending up dead in a dark alleyway”, Astarion replied snidely, narrowing his red eyes at the human, not even remotely trying to hide the open threat in his words.

Your heart dropped as you watched the two men stare at each other. The moment ran on for much longer than you felt comfortable with, but the vampire didn’t seem inclined to falter under the human’s death stares anytime soon.

A few more heartbeats passed. Astarion was impossibly still beside you, completely embodying the fatal predator he could be. Then Eodin gave up, threw his head back with a laugh that didn’t sound anything close to genuine. The rest of your friends joined in, seemingly relieved that the tension was resolved.

Eodin reached over the table to slap Astarion on the back in a dude-friendly kind of manner. The elf didn’t move an inch under the tall man’s strong pats, he scrunched up his nose in disgust for a split second and you could’ve sworn you heard a hiss but it passed faster than anyone besides you could have noticed.

You looked worryingly up at Astarion who elegantly had brushed off Eodin’s hand and stepped just out of the man’s reach. But his face was now a mask that wanted to show that he had simply been kidding, kidding. You still felt the tension in his body though, the set in his shoulders and the slight passive-aggressive smirk on his lips.

As the rest around the table broke into conversation again you grabbed on of Astarion’s hands again and dragged to have him lean over to you. He turned one of his pointy ears to you so you could whisper to him: “Are you alright? Do you want us to leave?” Your whisper was so low, no one besides him could hear it. He lifted his head again, looked warmly at you with a wink. Then he leaned to whisper his quiet answer into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine: “I’ll be fine, my love, but no promises about this arsehole.” Then he placed a soft kiss on the nape just below your ear.

Then Astarion turned to face the rest of the group. “How about another round?”, he proclaimed cheerfully and was met with joyous approval.

[jerzwriter]

A Bronx Valentine

Book: Crimes of Passion Pairing: Trystan Thorne x Carolina Rose (F!MC) Words: 900 Rating: Teen Summary: It's their first Valentine's Day as a couple, and Trystan and Carolina have plans to spend it in a very traditional manner... until they don't. A/N: I have a few notes at the end, but I will be participating in @choicesfebruary2024 Eros/Philia

Dinner had been delightful. Ruby’s recommendation was exactly what Trystan and Carolina had desired. Cozy. Candle-lit. Off-the-beaten path and not too crowded, even on Valentine’s Day. It was BYOB, so Trystan saw to it that the wine game was top-tier, and the food rivaled any place Michelin would quickly grant three stars.

The only thing that could rival the restaurant was the company, which was quite evident as Trystan stared at Carolina in rapt attention. Lovingly caressing her hand as she regaled him with stories of her past. He wanted to know absolutely everything about this vision who was foolish enough to love him, and he would have gladly listened to her all night.   

Just before the coffee was served, Carolina kicked off a shoe. With the floral brocade tablecloth providing cover, Trystan visibly shuddered as his girlfriend's stockinged foot trailed up and down his calf. They seemed to know exactly where the night was headed, but Carolina had one more story to tell. With his interest more than piqued, Trystan had enough, all but jumping from his seat to wave down the waiter for the check.

Their anticipation was palpable on the taxi ride home, and they all but hopped out of the car the moment it came to a stop. Bolting up the stairs, their laughter filled the air as they stumbled into her room, Carolina knocking things over as she clumsily felt around for the light.

"I can't believe we're going to do this," she chuckled. "I only meant it as a joke."

"Are you kidding?" Trystan beamed so brightly that there was almost no need for that light. He grabbed two glittery pens and some paper from Carolina's stash and rushed to take a seat at her side. "This is inspired! It's brilliant! I'm distraught that I haven’t heard of it before!"

"Yeah," she winked seductively, caressing his cheek with a smile. "But if you had, you wouldn't be doing it for the first time with me."

"Yes, and while this is a very unique of losing our virginity together, and I, for one, cannot wait! Now! Let's get to it!"

Carolina grabbed a sheet of paper from Trystan’s hand with a raised brow. “Do you think this is enough?”

“Hardly!” He gasped, pulling an entire memo cube from beside him. “We are going to be here a long time."

Carolina scooted down to the floor to write atop her coffee table, and Trystan quickly followed.

“Raul!” Carolina hollered as she wrote the name down. “Definitely, Raul!”

Trystan knit his brows. “I don’t think you ever told me about him?”

“Of course I did!” Carolina insisted. “He was the jerk who insisted being demiro was not a thing and just kept pushing and pushing no matter how uncomfortable I became.”

“Asshole,” Trystan mumbled.

“Precisely! Granted, I happily dumped a pitcher of Sangria over his head on our last date... quite satisfying, but... this adds a certain... je n’est ce quoi. Who is your first victim?”

“Augustine, for starters. He was the jackass that went to the tabloids about our relationship before I had even come out at bi."

“Prick!” Carolina exclaimed.

“... and then there was Alicia....”

Carolina looked up from her writing, “I don’t think I remember her story?”

“Fake pregnancy extortion scheme.”

“Dear God!” Carolina laughed. “You have a much more storied dating history than I do!”

Trystan looked up at her with a playful smirk. “I was simply the bigger whore, dear.”

Carolina burst into giggles. “This is entirely too much fun!”

“Inspired!!! Oh," he said, grabbing a sheet of glittery red heart stickers. "Do you think we should put some of these on?"

"I can't see why not! I think it would be a lovely touch and in the spirit of the occasion!"

"Ah!" Trystan grinned. "The Bronx is the best place in the world.”

“In fairness, I don’t think the Bronx Zoo is the only place that lets you name a giant cockroach after an ex for Valentine’s Day, but they really do make a big deal of it.”

Trystan shook his head in amazement as he pulled out his phone. “I can’t believe this tradition hasn’t made its way to Drakovia!” Then, after a few clicks, he let out a gasp. “OH...MY... GOD!”

“What is it?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and peering over his shoulder.

“The San Antonio Zoo lets you name a giant roach after an ex... then they feed it to another animal in the zoo!”

“No!” Carolina said with a gentle laugh. “Absolutely not. Even if it is a giant roach, I’m not supporting animal cruelty.”

“But it’s a ROACH Carolina, and it’s going to be dinner for the other animals anyway.”

“Perhaps,” she shrugged. “But it’s not going to be at my suggestion. I’ll stick with just naming a roach that's a Bronx native, just like me!"

“You’re no fun,” he pouted.

“Really?” She teased. “We'll see what you have to say about that after this little activity is over.”

Trystan’s eyes lit up as a lightbulb went on in his head. With another gasp and a quick clap of his hands, he reached for a stack of paper. Carolina tried to remember if she had ever seen the man this enthusiastic.

“Are you that excited about our post-Roach naming activities?”

“Always,” he winked. “But I just thought of something! I can name roaches after my siblings, too!”

“Oh, God!"

“And parents... I can name them after my parents! Not to mention, you've never even met my cousins.”

Carolina put her tiny stack of names to the side and grabbed her pen.

“Babe, do you want to tell me some of their names so I can help you? This looks like it might take a while, and as much fun as this is... I really have other things I’d like to get to.”

Trystan leaned over and gave Carolina a long, lingering kiss. "Of course, my love, but it must be said... this is the best foreplay I’ve ever had.”

A/N2: When I saw this, I knew exactly what I had to do! I could absolutely see these two doing this - and having entirely too much fun doing so! I'd like to thank The Bronx Zoo for the inspiration!

@choicesficwriterscreations Tagging others separately.

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 10

The tenth episode of the technically BL series which I rate 10/10. What a time to be alive 💖

While watching this episode I was very angry at Phee for not shutting up and then at Jin when he was yelling and being rude to my sweet little creature Tan, but I decided not to judge them (and not to theorize about other stuff) because:

the behavior of all the characters in this episode was strange, off and very sus, so who knows what they are really doing and thinking

I'm drinking an alcoholic beverage as I write this, so I'm very chill 😄

Could Phee actually tell Jin the whole truth and Jin accept it and not make it a big deal? Yes. This is, in my opinion, believable behavior from both of them. Phee is not a cute lil freak like Tan, he doesn't have as much to lose as Tan, he has something to come back to, unlike Tan, he has a home, a parent. Tan has nothing. Jin could be just tired. Tired of what happened in the past, of his guilt, of being hunted now, of not getting enough sleep, of not eating or having a moment to rest and think, of being constantly on fear-inducing hallucinogenic drugs. Phee confessing the truth because he didn't sign up for murder and Jin forgiving him quite easily are both believable. But as with White, Tee, Fluke, there was something strange, something off, in their scenes. Like their facial expressions at certain moments. Weird words. As for Phee - an ax lying coveniently there? A bottle of poisoned water that only Jin drinks? (I can't believe Phee didn't feel like drinking either, they're sweaty, it's night, it's hot, they haven't had anything to drink for a long time) Then all the marks on the trees were different, so I don't know if it was supposed to be the same tree all along? Phee left the ax outside? And it's strange that Phee knew exactly what Tan had done without even seeing it, like removing those cameras' views, or pulling the wire - how did he know it was Tan? I don't know. It was all so strange 🤔 As if… several things were happening at once, several independent revenges? Multiple agendas? Unexpected alliances? Hm. Whatever! No thinking, only vibing 🥳

SORRY, WRONG PIC LOL kinda hot tho I MEAN THIS VIBING:

Por and Top were wounded in the same place 🙂

I don't know if it's a fuck up of the people responsible for the costumes, or it's someone else, but the masked killer attacking Tee and Tan had different clothes underneath than Top.

Of course, I can't help but write how much I love Tan, how much I can't get enough of him, how Mio plays him, shows his facial expression, I'm absolutely crazy about him. Look at him sitting on a throne of lies, manipulation and the corpses of his family's enemies. Look at my son and despair 😍! I thought Por's death wasn't in the plan, and it turns out I was wrong. And you know what, I'm cool with being wrong hehe. There are so few characters like this that I clung to him like a child to its mother's skirt. He reminds me of Charn from Laws of Attraction, Kang Yo Han from The Devil Judge, or MLs from Beyond Evil, I love all of them, so Tan also has my heart and devotion.

Watching DFF is an amazing experience. I'm just having total, pure fun, I feel giddy, the show keeps me on the edge of my seat and on my toes. Not a second is wasted, each character is used to its full potential (even Top lol). I was recently talking to a friend about TV series and he told me that lately, every series he watches, he watches and scrolls on his phone at the same time. Well, what can I say, rel. DFF is a series that has my 100% attention 😤

[thesweetnessofspring]

Roses and Pearls by HalfHope (thesweetnessofspring)

Rated: E

Description: Peeta Mellark is the sole victor of the Quarter Quell. With District 12 nothing but ash, he rebuilds his life by moving to the Capitol and falling in love with Rosalia Snow, granddaughter to Coriolanus Snow.

Then people Peeta thought long dead kidnap him and Rosalia, including the one person he hates more than anyone: Katniss Everdeen. They say he's been hijacked. They say that he used to love her. Locked away in District 13, Peeta is determined to protect his mind and his fiancée from the rebels. But while imprisoned, videos disprove his memories and his feelings toward Katniss grow confusing. Who can he trust, and what really happened in his past?

Thank you to @louezem for being the best beta and cheerleader and for helping me track down the original version of this. And huge, huge, HUGE thank you to @ldyglfr62 for having an original version saved and sharing it with me again so I can revise and finish what I started 10 years ago.

Chapter One

I wait behind the stage as Caesar Flickerman makes jokes about his age, the audience roaring with laughter as he impersonates a hobbling old man horny for his Avox to give him a sponge bath. After forty-six years of hosting the Hunger Games, Caesar is retiring.

He wraps up his bit and the audience quiets. Caesar turns more serious as he says, "While I have bittersweet feelings about leaving, I'm excited to announce the new host of The Capitol Late Night Show and the upcoming Eighty-First Hunger Games: Peeta Mellark!"

My cue. I come on the stage, waving and smiling at the cheering people who create a pointillism painting, each one a dot of a different color. Caesar, with shiny metallic silver hair and suit to match, reaches out his hand, then jerks it back before I can grab it. I put my hands on my hips and shake my head as if jilted, raising titters among the crowd. Caesar and I shake hands this time, slapping each other's backs.

"Who would have thought when you were a tribute seven years ago, that you'd be replacing me?" Caesar asks after the cheers die down. "I certainly didn't!"

I grin. "I wouldn't either, Caesar. But so much has happened since then, and I'm so grateful for all of it. For the people of the Capitol to accept me after the Quarter Quell and those rebels destroyed my home. That I've been chosen for this job, and of course, to find love again."

"That's right, you're engaged! We haven't had a chance to talk since it's happened," Caesar says. His face grows solemn. "You must get this all the time, Peeta, but I have to ask: how do you think Katniss would feel about this recent turn in your life?"

Katniss again. I wish I could just get through one interview without that bitch's name brought up. But as she planned it, I can't escape her, even with her dead and gone for six years now. Even with another woman in my arms. Even with the rebellion squashed under the Capitol for a second time.

"I know Katniss wanted me to live a full life, even without her," I say, my voice soft. "She's not gone from my heart, she never will be, but Rosalia Snow has given me so much of the happiness and love I needed to heal. I think Katniss would be happy for us. If our fates had been switched, I know I would have been for her."

I've said something similar to this so many times I'm surprised the audience still sighs and I see a few people at the front have watery eyes. Their hearts break more for her loss than mine ever did. I let a slow, easy smile crawl back up my face.

"But what I think what the audience wants to know, Caesar, is what you'll be doing now," I say.

"Absolutely nothing!" Caesar says, and the crowd laughs and applauds.

"Watch your figure," I say. "You wouldn't want to lose it."

"But my dear Peeta, that's what retirement is for."

We continue our banter about body image, diets, and golf until time comes for us to sign off. We say good-night, the camera's red light stops blinking, and the audience stands up.

Rosalia's in the front row and climbs up the stage to come kiss me. Her rosy-pink curls brush against my cheeks. She pulls back a little, her bright green eyes fluttering open, and puts her left hand on my face, her engagement ring sparkling.

"How did I do?" I ask.

"Charming as always," Rosalia says, then the smile from her plump lips fade. "Except…"

"I know. But I can't help that they bring her up so much," I say. Rosalia's the only person alive who knows the truth about Katniss and I. Of how she twisted the first game so we were stuck with each other, how she abused me, how she never really loved me and only used me to get ahead in the Games. Only she knew of my relief to find that when Katniss blasted the force field in the Quarter Quell, she died.

Rosalia brushes my blond hair back. "Now that you're a host, will you please let me give you a make-over? I know I said blue before, but I’m thinking purple now, it’s much more in style. Of course, though, we won't even touch your eyes. They're perfect as they are."

I shake my head. "I'm sticking with the way I am."

Rosalia pouts, but contends as she always does when she wants me to get tattoos or dye my hair or fill my lips.

Caesar walks away from his crowd of fans at the edge of the stage toward the two of us. "Are you lovebirds coming to my party tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Rosalia says. I pull her closer into my chest, breathing in her flowery perfume.

"Any chance you could get that father of yours to show up?" Caesar flashes her his pearly smile.

“He’s less of a fan of parties than my grandfather was,” Rosalia says. 

“Probably better for the President to not be there, right, Caesar?” I say. “Won’t have to worry about keeping everything above board then.”

Caesar laughs. “Oh, Peeta. Sometimes you’re still that boy from Twelve.”

A breath jabs in the center of my chest at the mention of home like a shard of glass. The boy from Twelve, spoken of in such simple terms by people here at the Capitol. But I am now the only boy from Twelve. The only person. Not even Haymitch, discovered to be a rebel traitor and shot down in a hovercraft attempting to escape during the Quell, was left. 

Continue reading on ao3

[ladylamrian]

- Chapter 3: The Unknown

[ Please read past chapters before this ]

-> Masterlist of this Mini Series <-

Female MainCharacter: Alexis Clarissa Fontaine

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder

Other characters in this chapter: Katherine, Vera Reimonenq, Ivy, Garrus, Krom, Elijah,...

Summary: Nik doesn't remember Alex, instead... Elijah Ryder and the bloodwraith are back.

Word Count: 1.1K words

Rating: Teen (Mystery, Angst)

Warnings: Language, Talk about death

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @lilyoffandoms ; @liviusofpella ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1 ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @artbyalz

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

GIF interpretation: Alex loses her lover, Nik Ryder. Again.

With an old enemy left and getting rescued by an old, familiar stranger from a past vision, Alex froze, slowly trying to progress. She's shocked, and so is the blond next to her. Nik Ryder, being an absolute stranger tried to calm down his pet. Never in his life has he seen that kind of creature, and now being saved by an old man who shoots glowing arrows in the modern 21st century?? Both face Elijah with open mouths. The legendary nighthunter, Elijah Ryder standing now in front of them.

"What are ya' both lookin' at me??", the old man muttered.

"I... Uh, Elijah? Is that you? No, it can't be. You're supposed to be dead.", Alex unsurely spoke.

"Oh, here I go to war and ya' already expect me to be dead?!! I may be old, but tougher than you think, child. Look at you, getting saved... and... Who's that pretty boy of your's anyway?", his strict gaze turned to Nik who was standing next to her. Nik who felt addressed, cleaned away the dust from his clothes and adjusted his glasses while his dog curiously started sniffing the surrounding area.

"Thank you for the rescue, sir. I don't know how you did this or what that was, but thanks. My name's Nik.", he reached his hand forward to shake Elijah's hand, but the old man avoided the friendly gesture and turned his strict gaze back towards Alex.

"How many times did I tell you to stay away from danger and not take things into your own hands when I'm not around?! You would have been dead now, child. Glad that I appeared on time, huh? And what are you even wearing? Where's ya' huntin' gear?"

"Uhhh, I'm wearing my regular clothes. My white shoulder-free top and blue jeans. Excuse me, what's going on? Who are you? You can't be alive, because you died years ago?!!"

"What non-sense are ya' muttering? Enough! Let's pay Garrus a visit, he'll have to explain. I told him to look out for ya' and...", he answered, grabbed her arm and pulled her to follow him until Nik intervened.

"Hey, back off!! Is this the way you treat a woman?"

"She's my student and my responsibility. Mind your own business, pretty boy.", he shooted a glare at him.

Exchanging another glance with Alex, Nik decided to turn his back and leave. His loyal dog follows him. Alex's heart sank seeing Nik go. Not after finally seeing him again. What's happening? What's going on? That man can't be her Nik. He doesn't even recognize her. Maybe a look-alike?

"Nik...", she sadly wispered while shedding another tear for him. She wanted him back, found him, and then she lost him.

"Child, I expected better from you. Remember what I once said, the closer you get to a person, the weaker you get. The more it will hurt you one day, so don't get too close. Don't trust anyone.", he explained in a harsh tone as she turned her attention towards him.

"Nik is the love of my life and I trust him from the bottom of my heart."

"A few months I was just gone and ya' already changed. Look how close the bloodwraith was about to kill ya'. Guess, I'll have to have a few strict words with Garrus for not looking after ya' while I was gone."

"Oh yes, lead me to Garrus. He'll explain what exactly is going on here.", she glared at Elijah.

The entrance doors of the Graveyard Shift shot open, as Elijah Ryder and Alex Clarissa Fontaine marched together inside. Both seeking answers. A friendly face with shimmering blue eyes greeted them.

"Elijah sir. Alex darling. Glad to..."

"I told ya' to look after her while I was gone. Just returning from NY and then I discover her beeing chased after the bloodwraith while holding hands with a guy."

"What??! My apologies, I didn't know. Alex, I thought you were at home?"

"Uhhhhh, Garrus. Explain first... Why is Elijah Ryder still alive and standing next to me? Nik said that he died when he was 17."

"What rubbish are y'a sayin', girl? Nothing ever happened to me and who's that Nik guy you're talking 'bout? Second thing, why were ya' runnin' away from the wraith, like a damn coward? I taught you to fight.", Elijah intervened when Alex was asking Garrus the question.

Before Alex could answer back, suddenly someone hugged her from behind which startled her at first. But then she calmed herself down after discovering who it was.

"Hey Alex, missed me?"

"Katherine?!! You're... You're back!!!"

Delighted to see her friend after so many months, she turned around to face her, returning her a warm welcoming hug. Again, tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Katherine, is that really you?! And the scars on your cheek... You're hurt. Did the war...?", she sniffed.

"I'm as hell as fine. Long time not seen, huh? Just returned with Elijah from the Vampire War. New York is safe now."

"I'm glad that you're alright, Katherine. I missed you. But... What is happening here and what happened to Nik? And Elijah??!!"

"Who's Nik, sweety?"

"Ooooh, is our Alex in love?! I want to know too. Who's Nik? Is he good-looking?", Ivy came from behind to tease her and giggled.

"Oh, not you all too!!", she begged and angrily dashed outside, leaving everyone behind in Graveyard Shift. Escaping those questions and everything. What should she do? What just happened? Of course, she's happy to finally have Katherine back, but Nik? Instead, she got Elijah??? No. No!! As Alex's mind tried to process everything, her eyes discovered a heartwarming, familiar face. It's... It's Vera who's lonely walking down the streets.

"Veraaaa!!!", she shouted, hoping that she knew at least what was happening. As she called her the second time, their eyes met each other's. Mysterious dark eyes. But before she could finally catch up to her, Vera frightened and ran away.

"What??!! Veraaaa, nooooo! Stop!!!"

Hearing Alex her screams, Katherine, Elijah, Garrus, Krom and Ivy dashed out from the Graveyard Shift to check on her.

"What's the matter, darling?"

"Everything okay? Why are you screaming Vera's name? Did she try to harm you?", Krom asked with concern as they all faced Alex and her tears.

"Wha... Wha... What? Why would Ve... Vera try to harm me? She's my friend."

"Because she's a Reimonenq. And a Reimonenq only wants power.", Elijah hissed.

"But Vera is different and not like her mother, Elijah."

"Why do ya' care for her? I thought I already convinced ya'? She's an enemy who can't be trusted. You two are no friends."

Nik beeing a total stranger? Elijah is alive? Not beeing friends with Vera? One night all friends were sitting together to comfort each other. But now everything and everyone has become unknown.

"I... I... I'll go for a walk. I want to be alone for a while, please.", Alex requested, turned away and left without turning back.

"What's wrong with this girl?!!", Elijah hissed.

*tap and zoom closer on pictures to see details

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Why Aren't You Here

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, weapons (guns, knives, bombs), murder, bloody, lots and lots of death, scared boys, kidnapping, past abuse, past SA, fighting, cops, news crews, attempted SA, Megan being the absolute worst, a little madness, Dom's darkness, Blain and Kells being badass omegas, denial, lies, the plot is plotting, momma bear Kells, threats, even more death, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature AF

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

Dom arrived to a hellscape of surreal proportions. There was a helicopter overhead, SWAT, cops, and emergency response members of all kinds. There were news vans and people gathered all over, it made him sick to his stomach. LA was always too bright but it looked like daytime with all the bloody lights. He hadn't been able to get anywhere close with the car so he'd left it blocks away and run. He pulled his hood up and kept his head down, looking around the crowd for his people. When he finally spotted them he tried to appear like any other lurker as he wandered up but the moment he reached Tom and Mod the omega squeezed him in a hug. He took a deep breath and tried to let the scent of family settle his nerves but it wasn't the smell he needed. He was realizing that extra sweet scent on his lover that morning had been his whelp and he craved that more than anything.

“Wha's ‘appening?” He asked, down to business as fast as possible. He kept an arm around his brother but he gave the beta and his computer his attention.

“I still have access to the cameras for now but if they cut the power I'm not sure what will happen. There's a guy on the roof, three in the medical flat with our people, another four walking the floors, one in front of the safe, and Megan has Colson in the lobby. It's like she wants the fucking attention.” The beta huffed and Dom nodded. She might want it but his mate must be pissed. On top of everything else he hated being in the media unless he had control over it. “I don't know for sure how many are in our home.”

“And Blain?” His voice almost broke but he held it together. He wasn't sure how the kid had become so important to him already but the thought of losing him was too much.

Tom made a soft noise like a sniffle that he hid against Dom’s chest which almost made the Alpha's heart stop. Mod just shrugged and bit his lip, looking up at the windows they knew were theirs. “Colson disabled ours when you moved in for some reason.” The beta blushed because they all knew exactly why. They had a habit of fucking wherever they felt like and of course his mate didn't want the wrong person seeing. With his green hair Dom couldn't help but think Mod looked like an upside down easter basket and he let out a strained laugh. He might truly be going insane. “Kids a badass.”

“He's a bloody kid. Show me Cols.” Dom demanded and the other pulled up that camera in full screen. Megan was too fucking close to his family. The omega's face was bloody and his teeth were grit, he was leaning over with his hands on the counter but he was still glaring at the bitch. At least he hadn't lost his fight yet.

“There's bombs in the stairwell and I think she has the detonator. That's why SWAT won't go in.” Tom explained and the boy felt wild with grief and fear. He was so focused on the image of his love he growled when someone touched his shoulder but when he looked it was just Tim.

“I hate to be the one to tell you but I think he's in labor. Something was up at work so I sent his ass home to The Doc. I'm sorry Dom.” The older man looked gutted but it obviously wasn't his fault.

“You did the right fing. I should ‘ave been ‘ere. She'd ‘ave been dead before she even looked at ‘im if so.” The blame game didn't matter, he could hate himself later, but he didn't want anyone taking guilt they didn't deserve.

“Where were you?” The man asked and Dom rolled his lip between his teeth. He couldn't get into it right now.

“Collette needed me. She'll be ‘ere soon. Keep an eye out. And Tim, keep ya ‘ead about yas aye?” He wouldn't ruin the fucked up surprise because he didn't have time, he had to rescue his family.

He gave Tom one last hug which both betas got in on, he didn't like being touched but he understood their need. With one last look at his mate on screen he took a deep breath and melted into the shadows with a practiced ease. He was both thankful for his past and hating it, being a serial killer gave him special skills but being the most prolific one the world had seen in years made him not exactly friendly with the coppers. He avoided them and the cameras as best he could until he reached the hidden way he got inside for the first few months of their relationship. Before they met he made friends with a smoke happy janitor who knew all the secret spots to toke up. Dom had acted like that's all he was looking for and shared a joint with the guy on the roof. The poor idiot, he should really have him fired now but he was still thankful for the help.

Climbing the ladder was more difficult than it ever had been before. Every few rungs he had to twist himself to one side and hide against the edge of the building. The way it was designed he had a little coverage but barely and it wasn't long before he had the helicopter flood light timed. Before he reached the top he took his inhaler, he'd been wheezing since he ran for the building. He couldn't help but think what a silly picture of a hero he made but he wasn't that and he never would be. Not like his mate.

He stopped at the top and risked a quick glance over to pinpoint where the guard was. The bastard was near the door to the stairwell because no one really knew about his secret one. It was some remnant of when the place was built, left over for window washers and the like. It only took the Alpha a moment to pull out two of his blades but he waited for the light to pass over one more time.

He exhaled a shaking breath and threw a knife, hopping onto the roof at the same time. He ran as fast as he could and caught the man before he fell and dragged him to the other side of the building. He pushed him over the edge and jumped onto his balcony as the dying bloke thudded onto it. He didn't stop moving until he had the glass door open and he was sliding the fucker inside. He had the door shut before the light ran over the building again. He was damn glad he'd taken his inhaler on second thought.

He kept pulling until he had the intruder on the tile floor of the bathroom and finally he ripped the blade free. The first spurt of crimson had him smiling and his shoulders relaxed as he slipped into his much needed other headspace. He started to kneel out of habit, ready to slice into the jerk more but of course he couldn't. He didn't have the time. This wasn't for fun for fucks sake. “Almost distracted me. Fuck you! First ya tried to mess me carpet and get me in trouble. ‘Ow bloody dare yas.” He gave the man a swift kick to his neck and the sound of bones breaking underfoot soothed his rage.

His next move was out into the bedroom to look inside the closet. A fight had obviously broken out but he didn't see blood or bodies. He rushed to his drawer of knives and slipped them wherever he could on his body but as he left through the bedroom he paused at the bedside table. “Fuck. Ya knew you'd get me ‘ere eventually didn't yas? You know I bloody ‘ate ‘em. Ya went into labor on purpose didn't yas? Wanted to stress me out. Make me mental.” He pulled his hoodie off and tossed it on the bed as he spoke out loud to his lover who obviously couldn't hear him. He yanked open the drawer and pulled out his mate's gun, they'd been keeping it there since it basically became a sex toy. A loaded one. “Bloody ‘ell.”

Exploring the flat was easy in his darker state of mind. He wasn't thinking of what he might find, he was focused on what he got to kill when he did. It was a cat and mouse game, a hunt for him, a predator searching out his prey. He found the first body in Blain's room, his carpet soaked in blood. There was a dead beta cut to ribbons and he couldn't help but smirk. In the kitchen was another, bleeding out on the tile. At least he'd be easier to clean up. “Where's the boy?” He growled.

“Fuck you and your little slut.” The bastard spluttered blood on his floor and he rolled his surely crimson eyes before he crushed the fucker's windpipe under his creeper.

“Grandpa shoes me arse.” He muttered as he stopped at the safe and found a silencer to screw into his weapon. He barely knew what he was doing but it was a day of firsts he supposed. Of course his lover would drag him out of his comfort zone.

The stairwell was a mess when he entered it, red everywhere as if someone had exploded. Between their floor and the next was another dying beta which he put out of his own misery with a bullet to the forehead. Normally he loved death rattles but gasping for air through a ripped open throat bothered his misophonia. He only liked wet noises when it was coming from his omega's cunt or mouth. He was distracted from his thoughts and annoyance by the first bomb which he took a picture of with his phone and sent it to his brother. He wasn't sure if there was something he could do from here or if he needed the detonator. He was so wrapped up in his wondering he didn't notice the form coming for him until something jumped on his back from a floor down.

“The fuck?” He huffed.

“Dom?” A small voice sounded right next to his ear before the boy dropped and he turned to face his tiny attacker.

“You alive?” They whispered at the same time and hugged each other tight. When the Alpha finally got a good look at the kid he couldn't be prouder. He was an absolute mess.

“Did ya see? Ain't let a one of ‘em touch me. They keep trying but I'm better. I was trying to get to The Doc when tha’ fucker grabbed me from behind-” His voice broke and Dom held him closer.

“You did so good. I'm proud of you. I'm so bloody sorry I weren't ‘ere. I should ‘ave taken ya wiv me to confront Collette. I'm sorry.” The words were rushing out before he could think better of it. It wasn't exactly the time for apologies but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

“It's alright. I protected the ‘ome. Did ya see? Didn't let ‘em get me.” Blain repeated himself and his voice sounded wet. Dom knew everything was starting to hit him now that he felt safe. He didn't want to be an arse but it wasn't time for that yet. They had to save everyone. He was genuinely worried the kid might be lying to himself but he couldn't ask yet. He swore mentally he'd be a good father as soon as they were done but he had to protect both his children first.

“You did. I'm so proud of yas and Cols will be too. We ‘ave to get ‘im, Megan's got ‘im downstairs.”

Blain went stiff against him and took a deep breath, wiping his face on Dom's chest before he took a step back and held his blade at the ready. “Let's kill ‘er. Bitch messed wiv the wrong family.”

“Damn straight.” Dom knew he picked up the saying from his mate but he didn't care. It was appropriate for the moment and it made them both grin.

They entered the next level to find only two bastards with guns, it seemed the third that should have been watching their omegas had gone for Blain in the stairwell. The Alpha took them both out quick and quiet, slitting their throats from behind. It only worked because one was at the door and the other was leering at their people. Disgusting fuck. The Doctor and Dorothy were happy to see them but he couldn't linger long. He took the weapons off the bodies and passed them to the girls and they followed him back out and down the stairs.

With his hair dripping sweat and his gun held out in front of him he scanned every floor and took out intruders as he found them. His pulse picked up the closer they got to the ground floor and he had a passing thought of wondering if he looked like a mother duck leading her ducklings which made him laugh again. Yeah, he was definitely going mental. He picked off the bastards one by one but when they reached the first floor Blain stopped him.

“Go get him, we can handle anyone else. They need ya.” The boy gave him a quick hug and The Doctor though still teary gave him the Star Trek signal again. He nodded at them all and slipped into the shadows, he knew he'd have to be careful with another Alpha.

🖤💣🖤

“You realize there's fucking cameras everywhere right? Even if you make it out of this alive you're going to be arrested. How the hell do you plan to get out of this?” Colson finally asked, he'd been mostly silent for too long. He'd been listening to her rant for what felt like hours. She'd gone off about his parents, his mate, the family, and she'd been explaining to him in detail how easy it was to steal the other group. Who wouldn't follow a sexy female Alpha? He'd barely kept his snark in check for that one.

“Look at me, who would condemn me for finally fighting back against the boss who'd been abusing me for years? It won't be hard to make everyone believe me. Pretty privilege is real. You could have tried it. You always took the hard way but now all your lies are coming to bite you in the ass Daddy. Now you look like all the other asshole Alphas and I look like the poor girl who just wanted to break through the glass ceiling. Of course after years of you assaulting me and making me love you when I found out the truth I snapped! I'm doing the world a favor, taking you out and exposing Yungblud. I'll have to off him too then I'll really be a hero. A fucking icon.”

Colson's stomach rolled but he hadn't stopped being nauseous the whole time. Her lies were disgusting but that was just her. Nothing was real and he was pretty sure it never had been. The scary thing was that she could probably pull it off. As long as she only killed him and his mate and people that obviously worked for him- rest in peace driver, she could probably pout her fake lips and cry crocodile tears enough that everyone would listen. He had a reputation for selling people, though the DA could never prove it. She'd get off scott free wouldn't she? The only way out was to kill her. Even then he might end up in prison if the feds used this to their advantage and said the omegas upstairs were kidnapped and held against their will by him. Was there enough evidence against Dom in their home? Would they be safe if they made it out alive?

Another cramp locked up his hips and belly and his knees went weak. He snuck a look at his watch as he grit his teeth and he knew his pains were too close together. He could tell Punk was close to joining the world and he knew he had to act fast. He had to get to The Doc. “Shit! Okay! Okay. I hear you. I'm sorry for all I've put you through. You're right about me and you were right about Travis.” It broke something inside him to lie through his teeth like that but he had to. He had to do something. He'd never waited to be saved since his adoptive father took him in.

Her eyes looked softer and she lowered her gun and he moved his palm to his lower back as if he were rubbing out the ache. “He was in love with you but my mom wouldn't let him go. She tried to pull me away from you too. I'm so sorry. You've always deserved better. She didn't want me with you so she brought Dom in. I went along with it to make her happy but you always saw the truth didn't you?” She stepped closer and he felt his skin crawl.

“Of course I did. You're my twin flame Cols, you were always supposed to be my omega. I knew you needed me. Why does your mom hate me so much?” She huffed, dropping her arm to her side. When the Alpha got even closer he tried to breathe through his mouth. Her scent was always wrong to him but now it was hell on his senses.

“I don't fucking know.” He shook his head. He very much knew but he had been lying so much of his life it was second nature. Almost easier than telling the truth. “She didn't want us to be happy. She probably knew how much better you would lead the family.”

“I will. I'll make us legends. You'll let me kill her right? She can't be alive to fuck with us anymore.”

“Hell, I'll kill her for you. A mating gift.” He dropped his voice and let pain fill it though to her the growl sounded like need. Her palm laid against his bruised cheek and his arm wrapped around her back. “If you'll have me?”

“Of course Daddy.” She purred, pressing her body far too close. “Just one other thing I need from you…” She trailed off, standing on tiptoe. Three things happened simultaneously, her lips pressed to his as he sunk a blade into her stomach and she cut his own with her claw like fake nails. He gasped at the added pain as she choked on blood and stumbled back a few inches, her hand falling from his cheek to her wound. “I want your brat dead.” She growled and tried to jump for him but something hit her and she fell to her knees.

It took him a second to realize she'd been shot, he'd heard it but it was muffled and he was lost to pain and fear. His fingers searched out the gash in his skin but he hoped it was only a surface wound. He couldn't feel anything bulging out but he stumbled away from her just in case. He watched as she fell and bled out, he thought he would feel relief but he kept expecting her to jump back up and yell surprise. So much was fake about the bitch why not her death too?

Dominic was panting by the time he reached his lover. He'd been terrified to shoot her so close to his mate but when she moved to cut Col's belly open he had to do something. He hadn't realized the older man had already stabbed her with one of the boy's knives. How bloody apt. He stalked over to her and kicked her foot, just making sure she was gone. Part of him wanted to make a show of her but he had other things to focus on.

“Shit Dom? Dom!” Colson's voice was shot from stress and strained from pain, it broke his heart to hear and he turned to race for him.

“I've got yas. I'm ‘ere. You alright?” He asked, his hands reaching out to steady the omega's trembling form.

Distantly the killer noticed The Doctor leading out some of their people and he was glad for it but he wished she'd come to check on Kells soon. “I don't fucking think so.”

“Wha’s wrong luv?” He didn't know why the fuck he asked, obviously the answer was everything.

“I think… I think my water just broke. You have to get me the fuck out of here.” For the first time during the entire mess the omega let himself cry. He felt safer now that his Alpha was there but he was terrified still. His whole world was about to change. He didn't want any of that on the fucking news at eleven. He couldn't be outed like that.

Dom's gaze dropped first to Colson's pants and then to the floor underneath. The man was right, everything around him was soaked in something similar to slick but wasn't. Even the bags of whatever the omega had brought home. “I fink you ruined wha’ever shopping ya did.” He couldn't help but tease.

“Fuck you! Punk did it. Little fucker takes after their dad.” Another roll of intense pain locked up the man's body and had him kneeling in the mess. Dom ran for the door but a gun was trained on him from across the street. He held up his hands and backed up, joining his mate in kneeling on the floor. He placed his forehead against his partner's and let Kells squeeze his hand in his own.

“I don't fink we gonna be able to get out baby. I fink we stuck in ‘ere alone.”

“What? What the fuck? Can't they see the wicked bitch is dead?” Kells sobbed out. He didn't want to be trapped anymore. He needed his doctor and his mom. Where was everyone?

“‘Ey, listen to me. I've got you Colson. I've got ya boff. Do you trust me?” Dom was terrified but he could be strong for his family. He fucking hoped.

“To get a baby out of me? What? Are you gonna use your psycho bitch skills?” He didn't mean it. He was scared shitless. His Alpha understood and just smiled and kissed his forehead. “Yes. Fuck me but yes. I do as long as you tell me where the hell you've been all day!”

Dom swallowed hard and tried not to make a face. Bloody fuck he didn't know how to explain this shite.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

Oh boy look at that! Is Megan really dead? What is Dom hiding? Why won't the cops let them out? I love seeing them all bond like they are and I enjoy them all being so badass. We're so close to the end! I can't wait for part two, a lot more family time to come! I hope you're still enjoying it! 🩸💣🖤

[myxinidaes]

Trigun Fic Recs!

There are so many amazing fics in this fandom, I thought I would round up a few of my favorite completed fics (mostly for my own sake since I don't bookmark as often as I should, but also I would love to see some of these get more attention) Some Vashwood, some gen. If you check any of these out, please remember to give the authors some love with kudos or comments <3

man's best friend, et cetera by unsungillumination. 3.8k. Long after the events of trimax, Vash finds a dog that reminds him of a dearly missed companion. Offscreen/non-established Vashwood and rated G. I'm so enchanted by this fic and the way that the author portrays grief in the face of the mundane and just. it's such a good fic, yall

YOU ARE HERE; or, How to Get Lost in the Desert Without Really Dying by fathomfive. Wherein Vash and Livio find a de-aged Wolfwood after the events of Volume 10. Gen, rated T, and 15k, this fic absolutely nails the razor-edged absurdity between the edges of seeing the man you killed/buried/have only just begun grieving come back as a child who doesn't know what you did to him and the looming despair of the Ark. And, in the background, Vash is quietly losing his mind the entire time. It is. So well done, yall. So many gut-punches, and every character is perfectly portrayed. (All of fathomfive's trigun fics are top-notch!)

Tomorrows and Thereafter by KingfisherPrince. Vashwood, rated T and 9.3k words long. Vash communicates with his sisters in his dreams, and Wolfwood accidentally intrudes. There's some really fun examination of Plant communication and Vash and Wolfwood's dynamics. Also, a not-so-nebulous future.

still my guitar gently weeps by faugan. Background Vashwood, rated T and 4.6k. A melancholic fic featuring a ghost town and a guitar. It slots in very well with early stampede!!

Neck in a Noose (Kick the Chair, Hang Loose) by neatrogenous. Vashwood, rated E, 3.8k. Despite the title sounding ominous as hell, this fic is mostly just pining while fucking and Vashwood having a great time laughing at each other. It's massively cute. The goofy smutfic the fandom deserves.

Never Understood a Single Word He Said by aboxthecolorofheartache. Gen, rated T, 9.5k. Vash takes Meryl and Wolfwood to a hidden location near and dear to his heart. A oneshot about greenery in the desert, featuring a top-notch Vash characterization that's offbeat and lonely and very, very old.

these hands stained red (a thousand bodies piled up) by littleghost. Rated M, Vashwood, 12k. Mind the tags! An absolutely devastating fic about Wolfwood, a deal, and how far he'll go for Vash. It's so good! I'm scared to reread it!!

something to hold onto by VerboseDescription. Rated T, gen, 40k. In which a post-trimax Livio, Razlo, and Chronica face the future. A little bit about grief, a little bit about mourning, and entirely captivating.

and we're gonna sing it again by procrastinatingbookworm. Rated T, 5k, past vashwood. Based off of shelternmberone's Ghostwood AU. Wolfwood dies on the couch in Trigun Maximum, and finds himself haunting the narrative of Trigun Stampede. About second chances and self loathing and maybe loving yourself a bit despite it all.

as above, so below by chuchisushi. T, 2.4k, Vashwood. In which Vash gets drunk and has A Time. I'm absolutely obsessed with the plant headcanons in here!!! I'll never not be overcome with emotion about Vash and his sisters.

[thestrangestthlng]

Bi Buck and the internet interneting

I'm absolutely fucking living for the positive male bisexual representation we've been getting in media. Three masc male bis in the past year (and some change) is fucking amazing. Not only are they coming into their sexualities, their growth and development is detailed and explicit.

Furthermore, we have them having their sexual awakenings at different phases in their lives. There's no timetable on figuring out your sexuality. Personally, I as already in my late-20s/early thirties when I realized that yes my aesthetic appreciation for women was more than just aesthetic appreciation. We have Nick Nelson falling in love with his friend in high school, Alex Claremont-Diaz falling in love and having his awakening in his early-mid twenties, and now Buck realizing that his jealousy and feelings are more than just wanting to be friends in his early thirties.

Of course, the internet loses its collective minds--mostly for good, but you know the internet is always going to the internet.

There were a bunch of comments about how the show was "ruined" and asking why everything has to be gay. Here are some direct quotes.

"ABC just fucked up an amazing show and ruined my favorite character."

"Enough already. Why must it be in every freaking show on television? We'll see how the ratings go."

"Not Buck😢. ABC has just ruined 9-1-1."

"I'm done... tired of not being able to watch anything with the gay agenda having to be added."

"Ruined the show for me."

"WHY WOULD YOU RUIN BUCKS CHARACTER LIKE THIS. BYE"

"BRO WHY DID YOU MAKE BUCK GAY NO"

"Didn't and don't like where this Buck storyline is going.. smh"

Let's start breaking down this fucking foolery. First and foremost, 9-1-1 is a RYAN MURPHY show and the show has been queer af the whole fucking time. What we're not going to do is erase Hen like she hasn't been there the whole fucking time.

So, I personally this that people are mad about this development in his character because Buck is masc. Not only masc, but he's a firefighter, a manly man's job. Being a queer masc in that type of setting is threatening to some men's heteronormative opinion of what masculinity is. It makes them uncomfortable because he's not a stereotype. Buck's personality hasn't changed because he's started kissing boys. Hen is not an issue because Hen having a more traditionally masculine role as a lesbian is not "threatening" to their opinions of what masculinity is. Michael isn't an issue because he's not a main character, he's not in the 118.

But someone is like "not everything is homophobia" and went on to say about how sometimes people just don't like change and that if you got to know someone for six years as straight you won't like it if they were suddenly queer.

Holy microaggressive queerphobia Batman.

Buck hasn't changed more than his character growth and development over the years. Also, they've been shining a queer beacon over his head for years, which is why so many people were hesitant to get invested in the show thinking it was just going to be another queerbaiting situation.

As a bi myself, I am ecstatic to see more and more positive representation, but to sit here and say that his character is ruined or the show is ruined because he did what they've been hinting at for years, that's goofy.

Like, if queerness offends you so much, why are you watching it?

Moral of the story is that queer people come in all shapes, sizes, personalities, mannerisms, etc. The fact that media is including more masculine presenting queer men is amazing, because we've been force-fed stereotypes that are palatable for straight men for decades. It's supercalafragulisticexpialidous that we have bisexual male representation because that's new new. There's so much biphobia and bi-erasure it's so amazing to see it on the screen (and also not just being queerbaited for years.)

Hollywood: Keep it up.

And because I can: have some bi boy appreciation:

Just lusting; nothing to see here.

Honestly, though Taylor is so fucking pretty, he's literally punchable.

They're literally low key raising a family together, and ya'll are surprised. (Also, side note, I will die for Christopher.)

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Kung Fu Panda 2

Full disclosure, I haven't seen this movie or Kung Fu Panda 3 in years so I was excited to revisit the entire franchise again! And with good reason, because Kung Fu Panda 2 is fantastic! But... is it as legendary as the first movie? Well... let's get into it.

We pick up with Po, now fully settled into his role as the Dragon Warrior, when he and the Furious Five set off to Gongmen City to stop the evil Lord Shen from using a deadly new weapon to take over all of China. Along the way, Po discovers the secrets of his forgotten past and must find inner peace despite the pain that past may bring.

The story here is even more simple than the first, very much carrying the vibe of an adventure movie more than establishing this world and characters like the first film did. And I do like that about it, I like that we get Po and the Furious Five being together as a team for most of the movie, getting to see how they all play off each other now that they're an established team. But... I think this movie is a touch more... spectacle than its predecessor was. More fight scenes, more slapstick, more... things happening instead of getting to know, say any of the other Five (besides Tigress, who is still the most in focus among them) better. It's all done very well, but it still feels like the movie is padding itsself out with that just a touch.

The characters are all still great though. We get some really great development for Po here, along with his genuinely tragic backstory and how he learns to overcome the anguish losing his family at such a young age may bring. The Furious Five are also all still very fun, with some really great friendship moments between Po and Tigress in particular. As for our new characters, we have the Soothsayer, who is a really well-done wise elder type character who also lays the sass down on our villain. Speaking of which...

I'm just gonna say it. I think Lord Shen may be one of the greatest Dreamworks villains ever. Holy shit ya'll, this goddamn peacock is just... insane. He has a tragic backstory too, but it's of his own damn doing, he's utter unhinged and bloodthirsty, hilarious in his own haughty way, and his design is so fucking great, like how Dreamworks made a peacock of all things so sinster, I'll never know, but they sure as hell did.

Once again, the animation here is top notch, with even more beautiful stylization than the first. The colors pop so vibrantly and the kung fu scenes are an absolute feast to the eyes, as are the set pieces. The score is also utterly beautiful, a returning trend in this franchise, I've noticed, with both strong, punchy action tunes and stirring emotional melodies alike.

The humor here is still pretty strong, but I think it takes something of a back seat to the emotions. And golly, this story does have them, it's probably one of the heaviest movies Dreamworks has made yet (it opens on recounting a literal panda genocide, I mean). But it's message, about not dwelling in the past and that what matters is who you choose to be now is absolutely on par with the simple, beautiful wisdom of the first. And at the end of the day, it's a message I think Po and the audience learn in a perfectly poetic way.

So yeah, Kung Fu Panda 2 is absolutely wonderful. I still think I like the first Kung Fu Panda just a little more, mostly because I think its message (beliving something is special is what makes it special) strikes a cord with me just a little bit more. Even so, this was a great second step in what's one of Dreamworks' best franchises. I'm very excited to see what the third (and the upcoming fourth) have to offer.

Overall Rating: 9/10

Verdict: Killed by a gay peacock and his big boom boom canon

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