#i'm just feeling rly hopeless right now

[c0smoshit]

req since it says theyre open!!! sky fluff and gn reader is preferred!! either reader or sky need to relax bcs yk life is stressful, so they have a bath together and its just rly brain rottingly sweet

Of course!!! I love these lil fluffy Zelda prompts, thanks for the request 🫶🫶

Warm weather ࣪.⋆ ♡

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Sky/gn!reader

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluff!! nothing suggestive! // not proofread

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ this reminded me of a Leon fic I wrote a while ago😭

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 1.073

Laying down on the sofa with a popsicle in between your teeth you were trying to cool down from the ravishing heat of summer here in Skyloft.

Looking outside you then peeked over the wall clock; 21:15.

He was late, again.

Sighing, you got up, closed the window and became hopeless of the thought that the temperatures were going to cool down. Turning on the floor fan you had begged Link to help you buy, you were about to sit down again until you heard a loud noise by your right.

Stumbling over your feet your eyes met those dirty blonde locks of him, sticking a bit to his forehead from what you assumed was the heat outside.

"Link!"

You squealed as you ran to him, thankfull of the shortness from the living room to the entry hall. Opening your arms to hug him you widened your eyes and stopped dead on your tracks.

"Woah- you look like you fought a Bilocyte on your way home"

He grunted, closing his eyes wearily as you took in his not-so-radiant mien; Messy hair, sweaty skin, reddened cheeks, his back slumping down as he stabilized himself with the handle of the door and those dark circles below his gorgerous sky eyes.

"What happened?"

He stayed silent for a bit and you let him inside the house, watching as he sighed, finally able to take off his gear.

"I'm fine, just tired"

Your eyes didn't soften a bit, painted with a worried look while your hands helped him off his despair. His sword on your hand and his bow on the other you spoke outloud.

"You're having a bath"

"Later, I have to finish up cleaning my bow for tomorrow"

Your iris instinctively searched for the piece of polished wood, taking note of his awful aspect. It's paint was just forgotten under the layer of dirt that was covering most of the drawings and the grip and arrow rest were both messed up too.

"Don't be silly, I'l help you out with that later"

His brows furrowed as if he wanted to open up his mouth to refuse until-

"Now you're coming with me"

And with that, you grabbed his forearm tightly, almost dashing off to the bathroom as you put your hair down.

. . .

"Gotta get my boy cleaned up"

You said huffing as you helped him out of his absolute nasty clothes, all sweaty and messy. Trying to to oogle too much to your very handsome boyfriend you started to squeeze some fresh camomille soap an old lady gifted you the other day at the store, telling you how "calming and soothing you would almost feel your bones soften up from it" it was.

"It smells good what is it?"

You looked at his perked up ears, a sign that he indeed liked the smell. You giggled, talking about that cute old lady who seemed to be pretty happy whenever he saw you with Link, telling you to marry him before anyone else did.

At that last comment he went a bit quiet, almost blushy before you took in your own looks. Messy hair, sweaty skin... Hylia how you hated hot weather sometimes.

Seeing that he was already laying peacefully on the bathtub, the bubbles almost covering his chin you decided to get inside too. Sneaking your way in he wasn't alerted by your presence until he felt your body crash against his own, some water spilling out the tub as he instinctively grabbed you.

"Hello"

Your words were muffled by the bubbles around you, some of them hitting his cheek as you smiled before he answered with his own

"Hi"

Your arms hugged his whole back, his did too, pulling you up with him so you both could get a better posture.

"What have you done today-"

You said, cutting your own words as you removed your arms from him, sitting up straighter as you inspected his face like a mother would with his child.

"-to be so messy, Link?"

His name almost sounded accusatory as you furrowed your brows, now starting to part his blonde locks. Chest pressed into his face before drawing away, you grabbed a small bucket, moving so much even more water was spilled out.

"I was outside, helping out a little girl with her lambs..."

He spoke and was interrumpted by a splash of water directly on his head, shutting his eyes tightly as he let you manage his hair around.

"-that's why I'm so messy"

You sighed out, always helping others, you thought.

The room was filled with silence and often interrumped by soft groans as you massaged his hair, having squeezed a bit of his usual shampoo into your hands beforehand.

You liked- no, loved having such precious moments like this with him; being able to caress the head of your lover into your arms, massage his skin, his hair, his hands, whatever he felt sore for. And of course he loved it too, however, he always felt like he was making you work too hard for him.

More often than he prefered he had to come home like this; late at night and you were already sleeping, eating the cold dinner you had prepared for him too, having to tend his wounds...

He didn't want to think about it right now, having you sprawled out on top of him, taking such great care for him and the feeling of warm water around you was enough for him to forget.

"I wanna be the one you put the ring on, yknow"

He opened his eyes from their slumber, brow quirking in confusion before he saw your softened smile, looking down at him with such adoration he felt as if he was going to melt from all your love.

"Earlier, when I told you about that lady..."

Oh

So that's what you were talking about.

"I don't want anyone else to marry you"

He didn't know why you were acting so lovely with him now and you didn't know either, he just looked too cute.

Splashing more water on his hair you finally finished washing it off, chuckling at his wet puppy appereance with his hair almost blocking his view. He fixed it, looking at you with changed pupils, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you down with him.

Your head was now laying on his chest, listening to his steady and strong heartbeat, his hands drawing circles on your spine, sometimes tracing it with his index up and down slowly.

"I'm not marrying anyone that's not you, y/n"

You smiled and he could feel it on his skin, making him copy you.

"You're the only one that has been through all, with me"

[cishetamine]

the worst person in the world (2021) letterboxd review (already crossposted this to twt but reposting here for………'research'[you'll see)]

funny how i originally thought this movie was adapted from a novel even BEFORE a major character contracted a terminal illness (aka like one of the most common things that can happen to a character in a Realistic Fiction Novel, right after infidelity). it just has that MFA vibe!

this movie feels like a deceptive advertisement for living in norway. isn't it mostly cold there ? (update: i have looked up the average winter monthly temperatures in oslo & theyre actually pretty much the same as where i live. whooops!!)

the music in this is good when it’s good & rly annoying when it’s not

hilarious and insane that norway’s indie comics scene is (or is at least depicted as being) exactly the same as in the US—i.e., dominated by edgy cishet dudes all too willing to use mere shock factor as an excuse for originality

like…he has characters whose names are translated as “Dick Wolf Dick” & “Pedo the Parrot” which, come ON but also that literally is what these guys are like……like. So true besty

& yet ! i also can't help but sympathize w/ the comic boyfriend re: the Great Endless Cancel Culture Debate bc ppl have also told me stuff like, “i hate all the people in your comics”

which like! Fair, i don't intend for my characters to be Nice People (well ok some of them are well-intentioned but also kinda hopeless/lost causes)

but also the bf (well, ex-bf—in more ways than 1!!) is exactly right—comics are where i put all the horrible thoughts in my brain that i can’t exorcize by any other means!

love that she shares my hobby of “lying to strangers at parties”……she’s so cool

this movie has a lot of fun little moments that feel pointily realistic: (e.g.: getting interrupted repeatedly while fooling around w/ someone at a party bc you’ve decided to canoodle one another in the Designated Bed Where Everyone Puts Their {Admittedly Extremely Soft + Sensual} Coats, and now everyone is coming to get their jackets & keeps walking in on u while you're trying to snog)

^ another such moment: when her dad says that the link to the libfem girlpower-vibes sex article she wrote doesn’t work, & it’s up to us to decide if there’s actually an issue with his phone or he was just being squeamish abt sex

i wouldn’t call these "wow just like irl lmao" moments exactly the same as the ones in a coen bros movie, but they’re similar imo ? like, those are always my favorite things abt their films (the violence is fine but usually kind of boring to me at this point. like, okay, he has a gun, great. can we bring back the wood chipper? no, too expensive? well how about the cattle stunner thingy, do you still have that thingamajig laying around?)

nah i'm talking like, the way they make the pauses in an ordinary conversation as awkwardly real as possible. ofc when they do it it's often bc there's some sort of double entendre[not necessarily sexual] going on, like w/ the confusion re: the kidnapping in fargo or the student trying to cheat in a serious man. but lebowski has a lot of fun realistic conversationy stuff that's just plain weird, which i guess i'm comparing this more to?

wait. Holy shit. is it at all true that “most women don’t like giving blowjobs”!?!?!?!? Like What the FUCK. is this a straight vs gay thing??? i don’t get it……what could turn u on more than being good at making yr partner cum??? (ok well i can think of several things actually but literally why are u having sex w/ someone unless it’s mutually enjoyable i——???? honestly this was maybe the least believable part of the movie 4 me :// can straight women PLEASE weigh in on thisPLEAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!)

re: “they’ve housebroken bobcat” I HAVE TO KNOW whether the bit abt removing the cartoon cat’s butthole was in response to CATS (2019).

this movie feels like propaganda from the norwegian board of tourism. case in point: basically all of the action happens in summer. also, that scene where she runs outside and the world is frozen in time feels kinda like an ad. sorry if my brain has been broken by america superb owl commercial culture :(

it’s fascinating to see a film that’s so contemporary & relatable but also not quite my own life??? kinda like the gaggle of cishet-presenting girls i saw on the train recently—bc i was aware of most of the celebrity gossip & news stuff they were talking abt, but i still came away feeling like i inhabit a very different—albeit parallel—world from them. for more context, here is my best try at a transcript of their convo: www.tumblr.com/cishetamine/701574180800479232/lily-rose-depp-they-were-calling-her-a-nepo

(p.s. please don't get mad at me for snooping on strangers, i'm just one of many credulous clods who once heard that u can get better at writing by transcribing how ppl really talk. & from there i got obsessed w/ doing this whenever someone is having an interesting convo near me. also most importantly, i didn't write down any personally identifying info & also these ppl are totally anonymous anyway. so plz enjoy @ yr leisure!)

love how this dude reminisces abt being a Record Store / Video Store / Comic Store guy !!! i.e., he’s an alt bro!!! love that for him. it's so cute that norway has hipsters too<3 squee!

also luv how "i just took a dna test turns out / i'm 3.1% sami" is the norwegian equivalent of “my great grandmother was a cherokee princess” cosplaying indigeneity

^ overall tho, the extinction rebellion-core gf feels kinda way too flat & one-note……but also i literally know ppl who are like that!! like i've had friends who were into radical veganism + environmentalism & it did seem kind of culty……which is not to say that ppl shouldn't be vegan or environmentalist, of course! but i have absolutely seen it turn into Unhealthy Polycule Drama & we've just seen where that leads, cough FTX / EAs, cough

no but it’s fascinating how this depiction of norwegian ~radical~ environmentalism compares to the scene in the US. for instance i feel like i’ve never heard an american state that they chose not to fly across the ocean bc it would increase their carbon footpri——wait no actually yes i have heard this, but specifically in the context of academic conferences, never like, regarding travel for fun. Interesting difference here!

(^ also, those were basically only professors on twitter who were saying that, not ppl i know in real life. so another level of remove from me)

[meanwhile i would chop off one of my less-important fingers in exchange for being able to fly across the ocean, environment be damned] [anyway tbh i figure it wouldn’t be thaaaaaat evil so long as i was able to stay in that other country for at least several months, as opposed to business travelers who frequently fly back & forth. but i would want to stay bc i would be desperate to learn the language!

which language, you ask? why, my answer is—Yes!]

anyway enough feeling sorry for myself for not being rich. time to feel sorry for imaginary movie ppl instead!

“i don’t want to be the sensible choice while she’s the sexy one” damn that makes a lot of sense! i definitely feel that re: pressure to be Exciting & Spontaneous & Ever-Flexible so that ppl will find u attractive / alluring instead of setting boundaries (given the choice between setting a boundary vs having sex with someone hot, i will almost always choose the latte——ah, but you see, posting this in a public forum where people i've had sex with can read it is itself an act of performati——

So about the main character. We don’t get much interiority of her, like aside from the stuff at the beginning abt her various major + career changes, we don't get to hear directly the thoughts she is thinking—not just bc we don't hear much in the way of interior monologue, but also bc she doesn't explain herself to the ppl around her.

like, she didn't tell her then-bf that there was in fact another guy—which like, honestly, if i were in her situation, i might also take the coward's route! especially if she feared jealous retribution from her current bf. but we don't know if she fears that, bc we never see her talk to her FRIENDS, bc for all we know, she doesn't have any!!!!

which feels very……hard for me to believe? bc i have never met a woman who did not have Friends. (& supposedly guys tend to have fewer pals, but even they usually seem to at least have like, Gamer Buds, idk! i know i always did back when i was a Gamer in high school, even if i was kinda withdrawn irl.)

so i'm left wondering—are we supposed to see her as genuinely friendless? & if so, what does that say abt her?

or are we just supposed to assume that the movie doesn't want to show her friends? if that's the case, why would it make that decision??

if we as viewers are supposed to actually believe that she doesn't have friends that she can confide in whom she is not romantically involved with……it rly paints a very specific (& melancholy!) picture of her as a person. bc that's a stereotype i mostly associate w/ Isolated Guys, but yet she is not that! (i would like to be her friend & talk abt photography..)

still not sure how i feel abt the freeze-time gimmick. Like on the 1 hand—it’s giving crazy ex girlfriend tv show. But also………idk it looks kinda cool regardless!

between this & tár, i feel sooo…………something abt watching 2 movies in a short timespan that contain Bitingly Contemporary Cancellation Scenes, & also cell phones………i………hmm.

thinking abt gretchen from twitter, a noble woman fighting for a just cause (telling adult YA fans to get a life), yet whose ratioing ultimately feels sorta pyrrhic to me, such that i have to wonder if it's worth the stress it presumably causes her.

but also, i am much more of a wimp than many people! for instance, a lot of ppl are strong tough athletes who put themselves thru a lot of pain because they find it enjoyable overall! whereas personally i only do exercise when i can convince myself that it's fun (e.g., biking places, swimming in water that isn't freezing cold)

so what i'm saying is perhaps gretchen sees being a Culture Warrior as a noble pursuit &/or lives for the thrill of the takedown, whereas i'm probably conflict-averse to a fault. (also, on a materialist level, she gets plenty of publicity for fighting the good fight—& as an author, building an audience is pretty crucial to keeping the lights on!)

anyway, right—the reason i'm thinking abt her at all in the context of this film is bc of the Cancel Culture Scene. bc i'm sympathetic to both the comics artist himself as well as his critics—bc like gretchen & her supporters always say, i believe artists have the right to be messy & sexual & graphic & painful & problematic & difficult to untangle……both bc i prefer to consume art (like this movie!) that fits that description, & bc that's ultimately the kind of work i would like to create.

but what's weird abt the tv interview in the gym in this movie is that we don't really even get to see exactly what the feminists debating the comics boyfriend are actually mad at him about. it's all vague—probably bc the point isn't the debate itself so much as its effect on his ex-gf! (& we know this bc the camera spends hella time tracking her facial reactions throughout this scene, as opposed to focusing primarily on the ex-boyfriend being interviewed.)

(btw for the record, i've read some of gretchen's writing but not a huge amount, & i think she's quite talented at describing compelling visual scenes, but i do worry that some of her political commentary is just so on-the-nose that it isn't as funny as it wants to be?

like, sure, i hate raytheon tenderqueers as much as any Good Leftoid! obviously imperialist militaries are evil & should be systematically dismantled, & it's sickening seeing the cynical liberal war machine attempt to suck us gays into its awful whirling gears.

but—as we saw with countless lib comedians attempting to parody trump—just bc you're making fun of something genuinely bad, doesn't mean your jokes are automagically hilarious!)

oh right, i was building toward something—namely: it feels like there's 3 sides in the big Cancel Culture Debate these days:

(mostly but not solely) christian right-wingers who hate the gays

young people who ummm [takes a full minute to check something on my phone] believe barnes & noble should sort books by tone indicator & who think fujoshis will trigger the third impact

cool edgy trans ppl caught in the middle of these 2 groups, martyred like that one saint mishima used to jack off to & permitted to do any crime so long as it is judged as being sufficiently badass by the Council of Trans Elders

anyway i was just gonna say: you know how sun tzu art of war has that thing abt how u should make your enemies fight each other instead of u fighting on 2 sides at once?

yeah, i think we should come up with a new discourse designed to do exactly that. or maybe get the evangelicals & catholics to fight again over whether asexual priests are valid or if they have to be volcel to really count. hopefully they'll wear themselves out, & our[if i may be so bold as to number myself among the Edgy Trans] troops of keyboard warriors will be able to reenter the fray refreshed to fight another day!

[wooahaes]

for the fanfic ask game: C, F, I, K

hiii savv <3 this is a long ask so i'll stick most of it under a readmore >:3

C: What member do you identify with most?

hoshi because tiger agenda /j

out of everyone i write for...? i think either wonwoo, woozi, or chris.

wonwoo because i think i tend to be a quieter person most of the time (sometimes i have days where i want to be Really social--but i'll usually take the backseat in heavily social situations), plus something something books and video games. woozi and chris because i think i tend to work hard on things that i'm passionate about and i find success in when other people appreciate those things. and also chris's low self esteem. also someone once said chris said he had a crush on cloud strife lmao me the fuck TOO babey thats one of my favorite edgy losers!!!! chris and his dad jokes also get me...

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

the saddest part of this specifying 'dialogue scenes' is the fact ive written other stuff i rly like but its not!!! dialogue!!! >:( so i cant talk abt it </3

anyway!! from singing in the rain:

[context: reader confronts jisung on the rooftop abt the fact they like each other]

“Han.” You looked him in the eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me, that’s okay. I just… I wanted to tell you, and I figured out why Hyunjin was so pissed at me. He thought I was using Felix to get over you. And… I don’t blame him for thinking that,” you looked away. “I wasn’t–I really, really did think I liked Felix. I just… I didn’t know it’d always be you until after I kissed him.”

“Always be… me?” He furrowed his brows, fingers curled around the edges of the bench. “I don’t understand.”

“I think… I’ve been looking for you in every person I’ve tried dating, and that’s why it never worked out. If you didn’t love me back, I would have moved on eventually,” you admitted. “But… If you don’t, then just say right now, okay? And I won’t hold it against you, and we can go back to being best friends.”

“I can’t love you,” he said outright. “Not when Felix–”

You met his gaze again. “Jisung. If Felix didn’t like me, would you hesitate?”

He said nothing for a while. “I didn’t think you’d love me. Everyone kept telling me to tell you, and… I couldn’t. I didn’t want to do it while Felix was hurting.”

“I get that,” you dragged your fingers against the painted wood, noticing the way blue chips stuck to your skin. “I didn’t want to, either. But… Chan said that we shouldn’t let other people stop us. He said Felix wanted us to be happy.” You paused for a moment. “Which… really sounds like him. It kinda sounds like all of us: wanting everyone else to be happy even if it hurts us.”

“I feel bad,” he said. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

You scooted a little closer, cautiously taking Jisung’s hands into your own. “I think… Someone’s going to come into Felix’s life and they’re going to love him the way he deserves to be loved. I wasn’t that person. I’ll always love Felix the way I love the rest of our friends,” you reached up, caressing Jisung’s face. He  leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut. “But… I love you more. I know it’s early to say it, but… I really think it’s you.”

Jisung opened his eyes, watching you for a moment. “Can I kiss you?”

i will try to not go off abt this so much even tho it does come right before one of my favorite pieces of writing ("Kissing you felt like he could breathe again") but <3

i think when i made the decision to do a rewrite of enouement for stray kids, jisung felt like one of the more obvious options. i considered chris, but settled on han bc. idk im soft for him and had a different idea for chris--

im a hopeless romantic in the end so i think there's something very romantic about the sentiment of "i was always looking for you in every person i dated" tbh. while i don't believe in soulmates much (not in the idea of a soulmate being a single person but multiple people you can be compatible with), i like to think that jisung and reader in this fic were soulmates. it was always going to be each other in the end.

also i just like the sentiment of "i wasn't going to be this person for felix, but he'll one day be loved the way he deserves--i don't think we should feel guilty that i wasn't that person" tbh esp after dealing with that own shit in my life recently since i did end up having to have tht convo with a few friends over a dude who was crushing on me, more for myself than for anyone else

please know i almost picked the other short bit i like of reader basically breaking felix's heart bc i kind of like the way i wrote him (rambling and upset but still trying to look at a bright side while in front of them) there

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

soulmate aus. ignore that i literally jut said about that i don't believe in soulmates--i'm a slut for a good soulmate au when they're written well and it isn't insta-love (i'm down for an instant "oh, hey, let's try this out!!" kind of thing rather than a immediate kiss n tru luv sort of deal).

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

as of right now? uhhh god... i don't write pure angst too often but both of these don't have happy endings:

i can't run away - vernon fic that has very little romance written into it. vernon and reader (who are implied to have liked each other as more-than-friends) were best friends since middle school and reader has to cope with the process of losing him as the two enter into early adulthood and drifting apart, pretty much. it's lowkey a vent fic.

the seungkwan spin-off one-shot for sweet night :) i can't say much here but holly knows how it ends lmao

[kuiinncedes]

big baby rant teehee :]]]]

am i just naive and dumb and delusional to have absolutely no plan for the future ,make dumb decisions like staying in my college city next yr w no job lined up, apply for jobs w the intention of staying in that city, not apply for jobs w all that much urgency or motivation, have this interview and tell them i cant relocate next yr which my mom thinks was the worst offense ever apparently, and fucked myself over and idk why she started yelling but i was like well i'm fucking myself over leave me alone basically

i don't even fucking care jfc whatever but when everything is telling me that this was a bad decision am i fucking dumb to still be like i think i can get a job for next year remote or in this city what the fuck i don't even fucking care rn whatever she can fucking deal with it i'm being a fuckup

i'm gonna still fucking apply for jobs ffs idk like do i fucking need to tell her everything abt my fucking job search why did i even tell her abt hte relocation thing i didn't even want to tell my parents i had a fucking interveiw today but i had to tell my dad since he was home today and ig he told her i shouldve just like said it was whatever when they asked and then said they rejected me like the other one

i'm gonna keep fucking applying idk what fucking choice i have but also like the one part of me that's like whats the fucking point idk why i was rejected the last time not that i htink i was perfect for the position but how am i supposed to do anything better and improve anything and actually get a job

it feels like i'm just submitting resumes to no response and writing cover letters for no reason and getting interviews and stressing and preparing for them and im just gonna get rejected so what's the point

ig i need to have a better mindset abt it like i'm not that like That hopeless abt it ig but now it feels like i'm being naive and overly not rly confident but like . indifferent abt it

idk fuck this whole thing i feel like my mom judges me for everything i'm doing w job search so when she asks me abt stuff i get super sensitive and annoyed and i don't want to tell her which idk if that's fair bc ig she wants to know what i'm doing but idk man like why do i need to tell her TT

this is why i don't wnat to stay here even tho she's like y dont u just stay at home no ones gonna bother u like bro UR gonna bother me when u come home from work u know who's gonna bother me at my apartment ACTUALLY no one or i can work at a nice campus building or cafe and be around my friends

i just don't have the fucking energy and motivation and skill to somehow be one of those ppl who applies for 2384963948732 jobs a day but i feel like i need to be doing that whatever i'm still like i think i can get a job but am i just dumb for being somewhat optimistic abt it still lmfao TT everyone saying the job market for like cs adjacent stuff is shit rn and it's not like i'm an incredible candidate and maybe i've just had stuff easy in the past where i've gotten into good college and shit and gotten good grades

what the fuck am i even talking abt anymore lmfao u know what im gonna shut up and send in some resumes to things that dont need cover letters and idk ugh i just want my parents to stop talking to me abt job search lowkey just let me figure it out and do it at my own pace but is that dumb also whatever i'm going back to campus tmrw and can i just stay for a long time :l and i HAVE AN INTERVIEW ON MONDAY WOWOWOWOW MOM R U PROUD R U LISTENING

what the fuck is the problem if i dont relocate ppl job search w the intention of not relocating right

i may be delusional thinking that i'll get a job but that's better than the alternative i think :DDDDD

[ne0nlightzz]

Tw/Cw: long ass rant because I'm hopeless romantic who's to scared or confrontation and when something finally starts to go right something(my mental health/state) screw it all up and my life is playing out like a novel n I don't think that's a good thing-im also just writing out all my silly little stupid worries because apparently tumblr doesn't kill you for doing that:]

I'm obvious with that I'm crushing on someone. My crush then give me advice without knowing they're my crush. After a bit they figure it out and I totally freak out and get 10× more akward when talking with them which I didn't even know was possible. They were taken and turn me down is the nicest way possible and even say we might have a chance in the future.

It's the future and now I'm sorta but also not really avoiding them because they practically asked me out but inbetween then and now, I've had like 3ppl ask me out and I rejected all of them, I'm so confused about my emotions and who I like, because I like them so much but at the same time I also kinda like this other person who had confessed to me but we don't rly talk enough to yk date- my mental health also severally declined since they originally found out and now I don't think I can handle a relationship and make it a health and fulfilling one, they won't be happy with me as a partner I just know it and I don't with I can be a good partner right now, I can't be there like I want to, hell I can't even call ppl and they always ask to call and I always feel horrible because I have to say no become if I call im practically putting my life on the line because my mom will find out and beat my ass. I just don't know what to do, I want to date them, I want to be their partner and I want them to be mine, I want to love them so much and be able to show them that and to be there for them. But at the same time I just don't think I'll be able to show them the love I want to or that I'll be able to be there for them, hell I can't even eat a full meal or take care of myself or survive without two energy drinks a day. I'm stumped and I have no one to go to talk about this anymore and I don't know what to do because now it's just at the point that I'm avoiding the situation that shouldn't be ignored or avoided because I'm scared and I'm pushing them away because I'm a little bitch- dear God my life, especially my love life and relationships, are like the plot to a horrible yet tragic novel- and I don't think that's a good thing.

[watchfuleyeleans]

you don't know me but it's late and i have a question lol that i don't even know if you can answer but okay. it's just eating at me sort of. I'm of legal age where I'm from already, but I've never kissed anyone, much less done anything else with them. I've just never had an interest in it. in fact it's a little disgusting to me honestly. and I'm not even traumatized or anything, I've just always been like this. do you think someone of that could like, function normally in society? would you find it weird if you had a friend who was just single forever? do you think I'll be lonely when I'm an old man? that kind of terrifies me lol I love having friends, I just really really don't want to have to shift anyone. but it seems like everyone settles down with their one true person someday and I don't know that I'd be able to... it makes me feel hopeless to be honest. apologies for burdening you like that. I just really needed to speak freely I guess. sorry.

hey anon first of all its alright tae vent here, okay. if ye came tae a stranger on the internet im assuming nobody could rly help ye in yer circle so im glad ye at least got tae let oot some pent up shite in here. kudos tae ye

now aboot what ye said, i cant see how not being into romance or sex makes ye not qualified tae live in society?? in a way it could make ye even more powerful like, ye dont have tae worry aboot that part of yer life so ye can focus on yer own goals and hobbies and friendships. sure ppl will eat yer ear oot aboot how ye just haven't found 'the right one' yet and all that but i think thats bullshit like. its just like telling a bi person that its a phase or a gay person that they havent found somebody of the other gender that would be right for them, so overall just fecking shitty.

maybe ye wont settle down with some ~one true person~ but ye will still have yer place with some family and/or pets and/or good friends. all in all just keep being ye and cherishing yer friends (and family in case thats yer thing) and i doubt ye'll be a lonely auld man.

[seesiderendezvous]

🎓

[dirkxcaliborn]

daydreaming the thrilling conclusion to a story you've had bouncing in your head for a while

[doebt]

i just really don’t care about things anymore

[ahundredtimesover]

The vibe for this chapter - M A R R I E D 🤌

Gosh these two were so domestic and involved with each other in the best jovial way possible it was disgustingly adorable and I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE THE CONSTANT USAGE OF HUSBAND AND WIFE BY THE TWO PROTAGONISTS IN BOTH DISBELIEF AND UNCONSCIOUSLY WAS CUTE AF... And then some🙄

It also makes me as a reader go... Sigh please you two are the most married unmarried couple ever 😭😭😭

It's like a housemate situation but we calling each other husband and wife??? Excuse me?? Excuse you????

Dearest OC.. Living with the president of your company isn't a learning experience coz this ain't an internship.. It's a marriage... 😹

Okay-1. Loved the dialogue heavy approach in this chapter. Like I'm serious but this was so high quality. We really saw their dynamics as colleagues, friends, "married couple" surface in the most calm beautiful way..

2. Cementing the ambiguity of his relationship With Seri and the shaky grounds of his affair come through very neatly. This confusion is a pivotal point of this story because it affects JIN as a boyfriend/a CEO/a husband and the OC as a wife who ultimately will have to put her foot down and either chase her happiness or chase herself away from Jin's life and this marriage (Mimi I know you ain't giving me a spoiler but like Karen I can feel the angst in my left tit)

3. I really approve of the fact that nobody here approves of this Seri jin affair and their moral compass is strong and it doesn't dwindle just because this is a work of fiction.

4. I don't understand Seri's character and why she would want to be the other other woman like the entire vibe is so amicable and not normal 😂 waiting to let shit hit the fan.

5. Also a lot of casual moments that made me feel warmer than a ramen bowl on a rainy day - the dress fitting, the tie fixing, the soft smiles when the other said something heartfelt and honest, the tuxedo trials, admitting that the boss let her sleep in tmrw, him saying he will do the husband duty of complimenting her...

6. Pale puppy eyed feminine looking Seri being his type.. And the naturally fresh looking woman being his wife - Seokjin please stop being such a man 😂😂

7. Forget Seokjin.. Find me a Taehyung to my Hyuna (I'll become a Hyuna if this can be arranged) 😂

I left my work to read this chapter as soon as it dropped... 3 days is too long( how did we wait an entire week for updates???)

8. Also I feel that she's gonna meet Namjoon either at the wedding or in France and then there's going to be mixed feelings because now she's like wifing it out with her husband but she's also like wtf what about the guy who told me to wait???? And yeah.. Consider this theory while you laugh..

Thank you Mimi have a wonderful week ❤️

Ahhh I always look forward to your feedback 🥰 loving how you’re picking up details here and there and I won’t confirm nor deny anything! Hehe but you’re right, they’re the most married unmarried couple ever.

1, 5. I wanted to show how the boss/workmate thing adds another layer (and a bit of complication) to their relationship. But they’re domestic and sweet and friendly like that; their non-romantic interactions were some of my favorite scenes to write! 😊

2. Your left tit is right. I think there’s more angst here that you wouldn’t expect? I cried a lot rereading it? actually

3. There are still characters here with common sense!

4. She’s got her reasons; but we’ll know more a bit Seri and how this whole thing affects her in the later chapters

6. Lol we all know that Jin has a type hehehe

7. Oooh Taehyung is a dream! There’s more of him being a hopeless romantic for Hyun-a in the next chapters. I rly love his character here, too 😍

8. Laughing at this theory… or am I? 🤔🤔

Thank you so much, I always look forward to your messages 🥰 see you in the next chapters in 🇫🇷!

[inkykeiji]

hi clari! it's 🎨 anon here :3 i actually meant to send you some art a few days ago but i saw your post about wanting coping strategies for dealing with psychosis. first of all i just want to say i'm so sorry you're going through that as i know it can be stressful and a little disheartening and like, ugh you just wanna give up cause it's like a hopeless feeling of constantly having to work on your brain, or with it rather and that can be so annoying. my therapist personally makes me do lots of worksheets where i have to rationalize my thoughts and just put things to paper, and as silly as it makes me feel or as silly as it sounds, it rly does help because of the way the questions are framed. it forces you to shift your perspective and see things differently. idk if you already do that with your therapist but i thought i'd give you a link to a helpful worksheet i found, it's v similar to the ones my therapist gives me. the last two pages are really more important than the rest of it but i encourage u to do what feels best or what you think pertains to u! i'll link it here. ❤️ there are of course the common strats of self-love, self-care, carving time out for yourself but i'm sure you know of those already. i'm sending u lots of love and i hope your day gets better. take care of yourself, beautiful soul! - 🎨

AH HELLO my precious palette!!! <33

tw: mental illness, psychosis

thank you SO much for this. i've been dealing with psychotic symptoms for a few years now, but this week i had a very stressful (important! but stressful) appointment and it's kind of sent me into a bit of a tailspin lol :/ unfortunately i'm still looking for the right psychotherapist for me, but your worksheets are kind of exactly what i was thinking about!!!!

but yeah, it's extremely scary and stressful, and OVERWHELMING as hell. and YES hahaha it's downright exhausting, having to fight with yourself constantly (though i really like how you worded that, as working with it instead of against it; i think that's a really good and healthy way to look at it and i'm trying hard to adapt that thought process as well!! <3). but either way!! i'm very proud of myself for taking the steps i took this week, because as scary as they are, they're necessary. i'm being purposefully vague as to not trigger you or anyone else hehe <3

no omg NO it doesn't sound silly at all!!! i actually already do something similar with my journal, but it's a lot less structured (and thus has a potential to get a little out of control hahaha) so these worksheets are literally perfect, thank you SO much sweetpea i can't even tell you how much i appreciate you sharing these with me!!! <33

it's also just so comforting to know that i'm not alone??? i'm not sure if you ever feel that way, but having you respond, and not only respond with a similar experience but also with specific coping strategies really calms me down. i can't exactly explain how, and i really hope all of this is making sense because my head feels a little chaotic right now but i'm trying to explain it (and my gratitude!) the best i can <3

thank you so so SO much my lovely lil palette, i love u so much <33333 you are such a light and i am so so lucky to have you here with me <3 i hope you are also taking care of yourself!!! <333

[dog-teeth]

I'm the anon who got blackout drunk and kissed a friend, girlfriend is angry, which is fair, but hypocritical because she's done that twice.. Anyway I.. I relapsed again.. In the school bathroom.. My grades are down and my abusive parents are back on their bullshit, dad started drinking again. And for the first time in a while, I considered dying. I'm in year 11 and all the stress is caving me in, I just.. I'm sorry I just needed to vent

oh no im so sorry :( year 11 is the equivalent of 10th grade in america? yeAh that was a rough time for me as well, one of the most difficult times of my life. i rly went thru it when i was that age and im sorry u have to too. i think you definitely need to talk to your gf about this, like of course she has a right to be upset about the kiss but its really not that big of a deal and she should understand that, especially considering shes done it twice. if you think shes reacting unfairly compared to how you reacted when she made the same mistake, you should tell her that in a respectful way. either way, you should tell her that u need her support right now because youre going through a hard time. if shes a good partner she should be able to put aside her issues with the kiss and support you when you need her. 

and im sorry youre in a shitty situation. i know things might seem hopeless right now, but it wont stay this way, i promise. your situation will change, your perspective will change, you will grow and learn how to deal with things better and learn more about yourself and what makes you happy. relapses suck, feeling suicidal sucks, not knowing how to feel better sucks, but all of these tough experiences will make you stronger even if you cant see it now, and none of them will last forever. when i look back on how i was at your age, i think “its a miracle i survived” because i know it could have easily gone worse and did a few times. it might have to get worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better. it will take time and effort, but sooner than you think (i know it feels like forever) you will be able to move out of your parents house and be done with school and will be able to build your own life. stress and anxiety is really hard to deal with and can be overwhelming, but i promise it wont last forever. id say my advice is to make sure you have at least a few minutes of no stress per day. just take a few minutes and say “these stresses exist, and they wont go away, but i can let go of them for a few minutes and enjoy being alive. nothing bad will happen if i stop worrying about them just for a few minutes” and do something you enjoy! i like to take walks outside and play video games. try to do something other than scroll through social media. watch an episode of a tv show you like, listen to a song you love, call a friend, anything you want, and when the anxious thoughts come back into your head, acknowledge their presence and let them go the best you can. just a few minutes a day where you arent weighed down by stress. i care about u and i know things will get better u just have to push though this hard time!

i made a lil soft playlist of sad but calming songs 4 u listen on spotify here

[stellacity-blog]

[ hello again folks, i'm so sorry i ended up in here again with another finicky lore question, buuuut 9s continues to be way too curious for his own good. if it's ok, i was wondering if you could explain why exactly the war in stella city's past came about ??? even just who they were fighting is ok!! thank you and i'm rly sorry he is like this orz, he's been in history books. ]

It doesn’t take long before you stumble upon a book, that just says “Legends of Stella City”. It’s rather old fashioned, covered in dust that you need to blow off, and packaged in a bright pink cover that feels like it’s screaming for attention.

You flip open the book and read the first few pages…

Long, long ago, the 12 zones lived in harmony, until Shrek attacked.

Baa-ck before any of you were around, a certain pair by the name of Aries and Stella tried to cut a certain sheep’s wool.

Obviously, this did not turn out very well-- the young and rebellious creature denied this treatment, descending into an unquenchable rampage that left the sheep stampeding around the entire city. Stores were broken into, glass was shattered, and fellow ewes were injured left and right. It was chaos all around-- with no hands, repairs were long-term work, which was fruitless in the face of the merciless Shrek, who would waste no time in tearing it back down.

There seemed to be no end to this tirade of misery and hopelessness…

That is, until a little lamb by the name of “Lucky” appeared.

With the freshest clover around provided to them by Aries and Stella (as everyone knew very well that it was Shrek’s favourite), the sheep lured the other outside of the city’s strong and proud walls, running back inside quickly as the gate was slammed shut in Shrek’s face. Now that he was gone, they could rebuild! Their lives could begin again…

Or so they thought.

Days later, there was a tremendous crash. And it did not hit once, twice, or three-- rather, it was seven times total. A rather odd number (in every sense of the phrase), but it appeared that this was just enough to make some certain walls crumble to almost pieces.

Shrek, wool poofier and more mismanaged than ever, clopped in with stony dust decorating their fur. With his head held high, he strutted off to rest in his domain once more-- the underside of Liquorice Bridge.

No wonder why someone drops off fresh clover bunches there once every two weeks. It’s insurance.

You might feel like this doesn’t actually explain a lot, as this is just a legend. Still, it is a nice thought to keep in mind while you continue your search for knowledge.

- ♈ aries + ♊ gemini

[bpdsafespace]

Hey, my life's really not what I want it to be and I have this constant urge to *do something* to change my current state, but like idk what to do. I think about suicide daily but obviously I'll never get the life I want if I end it... I've tried meds and they didn't work so I just dk what to do and I'm rly worried I'll resort to suicide as I can't see any other options. I don't want to go on like this. Sorry to bother u with this Im just hope you'll understand

omg guys stop thinking you’re bothering me i love you all and it makes me so sad to hear that because i know how it feels but trust me when i say that i wouldn’t have made this blog if i didn’t want to be here for you all!

people think meds are a quick fix and they just… are not. that’s the biggest mental health myth out there. it can take YEARS for you to get your meds right or even years for you to realize that you don’t want to be on meds at all. so don’t think that just because the meds situation didn’t work out, everything is hopeless. and i know how hopeless feels, like you’re sinking in quicksand and there’s no way out, like you’re stuck, like you’re going to feel and be like this forever. but i can tell you with confidence that that’s not true, no matter how badly it feels and how much you want to believe it, don’t let yourself. i don’t know the specifics of what you’re going through but i do know that you’re changing every day. your life is changing every day. you’re not stuck. i promise.

i think having something to look forward to helps, so try to make plans that’ll get you excited? and it’s okay if you don’t know what makes you excited yet because you have so much time to figure it out. i think having passions helps - you just may not have found your passions yet, and that’s okay. you just gotta try new things until you do. get out there, you know? do things you never would think of doing, because you could end up loving them. focus on your career - love your career, because you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life. finally, after years of schooling, finding the career i want to pursue has helped me realize i’m not stuck - that i’m going to have the money to do things i can’t do now and i can use this hopelessness i feel to relate to other people. you just kinda have to find a way to make your pain beautiful and i know that sounds like romanticizing bullshit but there’s always a way.

[teacupchimera]

I..........................sad

[shinjaeha]

same :( i feel so uncomfortable and just /sad/ tbh, like i rly thought they wouldn't go there but the fact that they did and they way they did it was in such a cruel way too, so so cruel imo that i just was... defeated and disappointed in a way i thought would never feel with this show. the fact that the only intimate scene they have is that sex scene, the way nadao kept promoting that scene (the countless stills, even making it the poster) just makes me wanna puke now, the way they called it a 'love scene' ("see the behind of the love scene!") when they released the doc this week just made me angry, there was no love there, maybe from oh aew, but certainly not from teh.

i am sad bc even if they try to convince me now that teh loves oh aew, i am not gonna believe it? like you said the kiss was just the cherry on top, the worst was the way he clearly doesn't respect or cares about oh aew at all and i am just so devastated bc it also came out of nowhere for me? like we jump from the end of ep2 to here, and idk what happened?

i guess the only think i can wish for now is that they don't make oh aew hopeless, that they don't make him just take it, that he stands up for himself and doesn't just take him back, i really really hope so but i'm just not sure anymore, my trust in this show is completely broken (and tbh with the scenes we have from the trailer i am just guessing that what i fear is gonna happen, oh aew is just gonna take it, maybe they even make teh be the one to break up with him instead of having oh aew dump him with dignity)

i also angry bc, i thought this part we were gonna see more of oh aew's pov? but his screen time is just so little that idk what to think anymore tbh.

i guess i am just sad and drained. i am relieved i am not the only tho sigh

i'm so sorry for the delay, anon!! i know this was sitting in here for a couple days and i wanted to answer but i was like...i need to not think about what happened for a little bit before i came back to this so yeah...

i think sad is the perfect descriptor for how i've been feeling with what went down. like i was angry right after it, but now it's just settled down into this sadness. it bums me out so much that their first love scene wasn't even a proper love scene too :((( we couldn't even be happy about it...

i completely agree about the ep 2 jump to this...it was like whiplash. we went from them promising to love each other forever to teh just being uninterested in oh-aew and i was like what happened????? by telling the story this way, we miss so much of the nuance that gets us to understand where teh's head is at. like i can look back and sort of get teh's pov now, but it's also bc i had to fill all those gaps in myself. i just feel like there's so much being missed.

and yes, i feel the same. i really thought we were gonna get a lot more oh-aew this series, but he has so little screen time :( and even when he had issues in ep 1, they're basically resolved by the next ep. i want to see more of his own struggles and life when he's not tied to teh. and honestly?? i WANT to see oh-aew be petty and angry. obv he's a very different character than teh so he'll deal with things differently too, but i truly hope that he doesn't just take it too. i HOPE he breaks up with teh first (which you wouldn't catch me saying even just a week ago but here we are...). ngl i kind of just want to see teh realise he's been taking things for granted too late, and for oh-aew to move on and thrive.

i'm so conflicted on this bc i want the both of them to mature and learn from their experiences, and i can def see now that it’s better for them to do that if they’re apart from one another, but bc of how important their relationship is to me, something in me still wants them to work things out (even though logically i know that oh-aew deserves much more than he’s getting rn). either way, it’s hurts and makes me feel so confused too.

anyway, you’re def not the only one feeling this way. not sure how things are going to go in the next two eps, but i hope things will be able to end on a better note. i just hope we’re not sad and drained again by the end of this.