#i'm migrating the whole thing!

[th3-0bjectivist]

MAY 24’ PAGE UPDATE: We’re on Deviant Art now + EPIC INSTAGRAM RANT w/ Springin’ Chip!

Heya folks! It’s your new page mascot, Springin’ Chip, with a page update and this adorable pic of me growling at the camera.

I seem to have a natural penchant for making disturbing and unnatural faces for the camera, so we’re just going to roll with it for this post until the magic runs out! If you wanna know how things are going for me, eh, y’know, I’m fine I suppose. I’m sniffin’ lots of ass n’ crotch these days! I’m also trying to grab food off the kitchen table and counter if I can reach it (I have VERY long legs and I’m a food-aggressive A-hole), and I’m putting every possible thing that’s on the ground directly into my mouth! Being a puppy is awesome, it’s almost like you don’t have to be responsible for anything and everyone just cleans all your messes for you! Carpe diem, folks!

Firstly, thanks for all the likes and reposts out there, this page is officially full steam ahead! It’s beyond full steam ahead; it’s a rusty freight train operated by a perma-drunken operator at breakneck speeds over a shallow ravine!!! One of our paintings (that we thought was a real piece of shit) ended up getting nearly 500 hits within a few weeks! And just a few little house cleaning items; the next few weeks will be SPACE ART WEEK 24’ on this page, meaning everything we post will be space-themed. We do it every year on this blog, sometimes twice a year, and we mostly use it to bridge periods of slow art generation. We’ve got new art coming in about three weeks, for now enjoy the space art gifs and cosmic images.

***** And now for the primary page update: I wanted to draw your attention to the fact that th3-0bjectivist is on Deviant Art now. Earlier this year, we shut down our art store on Poshmark (it was simply not a great place to sell art, good overall site for more practical sales though). We also shut down our gallery page on Instagram. So, if you’re looking for a place to view a full gallery of, AND perhaps purchase th3-0bjectivist’s original art, please check out our Deviant Art page. If you would consider a purchase that would certainly be appreciated, money is TIGHT for us these days, my friends! For a pissed-off but comprehensive rant of Instagram from me, please click just below. *****

I suppose you guys want my review of Instagram in proper English now, then? Y’know, folks…. I busted my dog-ass to learn English for my contributions to this blog. The LEAST you could do for me is go out and learn just a little bit of canine for my sake. But, okay humans, without further ado, here’s the expletive-laden top five reasons th3-0bjectivist left Instagram in GLORIOUS ENGLISH!

1- Instagrams’ UI/UX eats ass with bare hands. I’m a dog, folks. I like ass. I like ass A LOT. You know what I DON’T like!? Having my nose forcibly buried deep inside IG’s plastic, ugly, squarish, basic-bitch design sphincter. I mean, seriously, who came up with this design ethos!? Josef Mengele? Text that you have to squint to see!??? The fact that I have to click on things several times because your wonky-ass click-targets are so small you gotta break out a lens magnifier to see where the hell they begin and end!?? Reminders to follow blogs that you purposefully unfollowed months ago?? Fuck that noise! This isn’t a website, merely looking at Instagram is torture under Geneva statutes and I would seriously advise anyone out there reading this to avoid IG’s horrendous site design at ALL FUCKING COSTS! You’d think over time Instagram would get better at this shit! Nope!! Same bullshit on Instagram, somehow gets WORSE every year. EAT ME, IG!!!

2- Instagram is simply NOT a friendly place for artists anymore. Never really was! Looking to promote your art on our platform!? Too bad, bitch! Sit your ass down and watch the SHITTIEST of shitty videos that our algorithm prioritizes over promoting an actual resurgence of grass-roots American culture because we are desperately trying to keep up with TikTok. Great initiative, IG! Hey next year, why don’t you try to bring EVEN MORE shitty videos of white pre-teen girls trying to dance in sync with Lady Gaga classics! WOOF! WOOF with a burning, acidic bark you clueless dipshits!

3- There is no sense of community on Instagram. We sign on to Deviant Art, for the first full day we are inundated with messages from absolutely everyone that notices we’re new… and they welcome us to the community. We sign on to IG, everyone ignores our profile in unison. Why? Because community is NOT prioritized on Instagram, the INDIVIDUAL is. This is the primary reason why it’s so common to see selfies on IG that depict a veritable slideshow of a ‘perfect life’. We know the whole ‘perfect life’ shtick is an act, folks. Again, I’m a spaniel dog, and even I can recognize you shouldn’t be smiling that much in all your pics… that’s not natural! But then again, if it weren’t for the ’perfect life’ selfie and couples shot, why would Instagram even fucking exist in the first place? Am I right folks!?

4- Too many scammers on Instagram. It’s amazing how, every time we post a painting to IG, we get a message from another motherfucker who wants to purchase our art NFT! WOW! What a deal! So, let me get this straight… I sell my digital art to you at NO COST for our work, and I get… nothing in return! Fuckin’ nothing. No money. No digital rights. No citation for intellectual property. No respect. No nothing. Hey NFT scammers!! Here’s the deal from here on out. You want our art NFT!? We want 10,000 dollars, per piece, up front. We’ll give you our Zelle account, send us 10,000 dollars, up front. No more bullshit. Send us money, send us money now. You want the intellectual property to own!? We’ll trade it for cold, hard, dirty, fatass dollar bills!!! You pay, we provide. You could just buy the physical canvas art and do whatever you want with it afterward! We’ll ship the damn thing to you for a pittance. JUST GIVE US THE LITTLE BIT OF MONEY WE’RE ASKING FOR YOU PEDANTIC, CLUELESS, INTERNET NFT SCAMMER-BITCH!!!

5- Instagram is a property of Meta. Failbook sucks. Instafail sucks. Even Zuckerberg doesn’t have faith in his own properties, to the point where he has cashed out to the tune of hundreds of millions and is actively seeking to hide away, underground, once the economic shit hits the fan in the United States. What a stand-up guy! All of you who are on Facebook and Instagram might want to start jumping ship while it’s still first-and-fashionable to do so.

As bad as Tumblr can be sometimes, at least there’s a community here. At least we have something of a megaphone here. And yes, we have our beloved pornbots, but the artistic community here still has standards, which is why we push for tasteful nudes over full on penetration. Check out th3-0's page on Deviant Art and enjoy SPACE ART WEEK 24' folks!

Thanks for joining me, until the next page update/rant! Springin’ Chip

[averlym]

,,, little lemmings in line...

[riverswater]

(Speciesism refers to the attribution of a superior status to human beings compared to other animal species)

[whysamwhy123]

Since I'm back after a little unplanned hiatus, time to blab about another dumb idea I had for an AU that I'll never write! So! For some reason, a while back, I decided I really wanted to come up with a trashy reality show AU for Max Squared, where MJF decides to exploit Caster's immediate, intense love for him by starting up a little showmance. Max wants to manipulate the editing of the show as well as the game itself to make sure that he wins and/or becomes the breakout star of the season. So when Caster falls head over heels for him on Day One, he's presented with the perfect opportunity.

Initially, I was thinking the show would be a Survivor type deal, a bunch of people on a desert island or something, voting each other off, so Max's game is stringing Caster along so that he won't ever vote against him and he always has an ally help him vote out whoever he considers his biggest competition. But then I started to think it might be funnier if it was an American Idol style singing competition. It kinda fits, right? Both MJF and Caster are musically inclined, after all. And it changes the logic behind Max's plan - he wants to manipulate the editing of the show, make himself seem like a nice, endearing guy so the public will vote to keep him in the show, and ensure he gets a lot more screen time than the the other contestants. And what better way to do than pretending to be falling in love with this weirdo who's obsessed with you? A heart-warming queer romance on a show where only one of them can win? That's some good trash TV there, right?

MJF insists to Caster that it's all an act on his part. He's only pretending to be in love with him for the show, to tug on the heartstrings of all the stupid fans out there who think this shit is anything close to real. A ploy to make himself seem like the perfect charming, irresistible hero he needs to be in order to win this damn thing. And Caster's just like ''Whatever you say, sweetie,'' because he knows before Max does.

Maybe after a certain point, Max figures, hey, there's no harm in sleeping with the guy. It doesn't mean anything - Caster's so willing, so he may as well get laid. Of course, Caster thinks this is a sign that he really does have feelings for him, no matter how many times MJF tells him that it's not because he's actually attracted to him. No, it's just a ''power thing''.

He's only pretending, right? Caster's a fucking loser, a pawn in Max's grand master plan to emerge victorious. There's no way he could end up actually developing feelings for him over the course of the show, right? It's all for the show, it's fake, it's not real! There's simply no way he could...

Also, I'd want there to be a point where one night, Caster straight-up begs Max to let him eat his ass. And MJF's like ''Ugh, no way! That's disgusting! You're insane! You're a fucking weirdo! You're gross! You're...you'd do that for me?'' and of course, Caster tells him he'd do anything for him. And Max finds he can't resist anymore. So he lets Caster do it and he makes sure he doesn't regret it. Max's probably so loud during it that it pisses off the other contestants and the crew members who can hear it through the walls because Max simply cannot keep quiet like he usually can.

[chalk-homunculus]

I've been once again maining Klee throughout this Veluriyam Mirage questline a nd while exploring the mirage, both because I did get her skin, but also because it cheers me up so much to see her having fun.

[daeley]

[gothhabiba]

Hi, this is very ignorant. I'm trying to read as much as I can on Palestine and Zionism but there is one point I cannot find an answer for. Given that Zionism is not Judaism, given that at the beginning most Jewish people did not share this view and was actually supported by christians with antisemitic views, given that it was conceptualized as a colonial project that could only be actualized by ethnically cleanse Palestine, one thing I don't know how to disagree with Zionists is the idea that Jewish people do come from that land. Even if European jews are probably not genetically related to the Jewish people from there, I think Jewishness is something that can be constructed as related to that land. This of course does not mean that Palestinians are not natives too and they have every right to their land. However I don't really know how to answer when Jewish (Zionists) tell me that Jewish people fled that land during the diaspora. Other than "yeah but the people that stayed are native that underwent christianization before, arabization later, grew a sense of nationhood in the 19th century and are Palestinians now"

It's a fundamental misunderstanding of what "indigeneity" is to believe that it means "whoever has the oldest claim to the land." Rather, to describe a people as "indigenous" is a reference to their current relationship to the government and to the land—namely that they have been or are being dispossessed from that land in favour of other private owners (settlers); they have a separate, inferior status to settlers according to the law, explicitly; they are shut out of institutions created by the settler state, explicitly; they are targeted implicitly by the laws of the settler state (e.g. Israeli prohibitions against harvesting wild thyme or using donkeys or horses for transportation); the settler state does not punish violence against them; &c. &c.

It is a settler-colonialist state that creates indigeneity; without one, it is perfectly possible for immigrants to move to and live in a new location without becoming settlers, with the superior cultural and legal status and suppression of a legally inferior population that that entails.

If all that were going on were some Jewish people feeling a personal or religious connexion to this land and wanting to move there, accepting the existing people and culture and living with them, not expelling and killing local populations and creating a settler-colonialist state that privileges them at the expense of extant populations, that would be a completely different situation. But any assertion of the land's fundamental Jewish-ness (really they mean white or European Jewishness—the Jewish Arabs who were already in Palestine never seem to figure in these arguments) is a canard that distracts from the fundamental issue, which is a people's right to resist dispossession, ethnic cleansing, and genocide.

Decolonize Palestine lays out some of the ethnic and cultural history of the region, but follows it up with:

So, what does this all mean for Palestine? Absolutely nothing. Although the argument has many ahistorical assumptions and claims, it is not these which form its greatest weakness. The whole argument is a trap. The basic implication of this line of argumentation is as follows: If the Jewish people were in Palestine before the Arabs, then the land belongs to them. Therefore, the creation of Israel would be justified. From my experience, whenever this argument is used, the automatic response of Palestinians is to say that their ancestors were there first. These ancestors being the Canaanites. The idea that Palestinians are the descendants of only one particular group in a region with mass migrations and dozens of different empires and peoples is not only ahistorical, but this line of thought indirectly legitimizes the original argument they are fighting against. This is because it implies that the only reason Israel’s creation is unjustified is because their Palestinian ancestors were there first. It implies that the problem with the argument lies in the details, not that the argument as a whole is absolute nonsense and shouldn’t even be entertained. The ethnic cleansing, massacres and colonialism needed to establish Israel can never be justified, regardless of who was there first. It’s a moot point. Even if we follow the argument that Palestinians have only been there for 1300 years, does this suddenly legitimize the expulsion of hundreds of thousands? Of course not. There is no possible scenario where it is excusable to ethnically cleanse a people and colonize their lands. Human rights apply to people universally, regardless of whether they have lived in an area for a year or ten thousand years. If we reject the “we were there first” argument, and not treat it as a legitimizing factor for Israel’s creation, then we can focus on the real history, without any ideological agendas. We could trace how our pasts intersected throughout the centuries. After all, there is indeed Jewish history in Palestine. This history forms a part of the Palestinian past and heritage, just like every other group, kingdom or empire that settled there does. We must stop viewing Palestinian and Jewish histories as competing, mutually exclusive entities, because for most of history they have not been. These positions can be maintained while simultaneously rejecting Zionism and its colonialism. After all, this ideologically driven impulse to imagine our ancestors as some closed, well defined, unchanging homogenous group having exclusive ownership over lands corresponding to modern day borders has nothing to do with the actual history of the area, and everything to do with modern notions of ethnic nationalism and colonialism.

I would also be careful about mentioning a sense of "nationhood" or "national identity" in this context, as it could seem to imply that people need a "national" identity (a very specific and very new idea) in order not to deserve genocide. Actually the idea that Palestinians lacked a national identity (of the kind that developed in 19th-century Europe) is commonly used to justify Zionism. Again from Decolonize Palestine:

This slogan ["A land without a people for a people without a land"] persists to this day because it was never meant to be literal, but colonial and ideological. This phrase is yet another formulation of the concept of Terra Nullius meaning “nobody’s land”. In one form or the other, this concept played a significant role in legitimizing the erasure of the native population in virtually every settler colony, and laying down the ‘legal’ and ‘moral’ basis for seizing native land. According to this principle, any lands not managed in a ‘modern’ fashion were considered empty by the colonists, and therefore up for grabs. Essentially, yes there are people there but no people that mattered or were worth considering. There is no doubt that Zionism is a settler colonial movement intent on replacing the natives. As a matter of fact, this was a point of pride for the early Zionists, as they saw the inhabitants of the land as backwards and barbaric, and that a positive aspect of Zionism would be the establishment of a modern nation state there to act as a bulwark against these ‘regressive’ forces in the east [You can read more about this here]. A characteristic feature of early Zionist political discourse is pretending that Palestinians exist only as individuals or sometimes communities, but never as constituting a people or a nation. This was accompanied by the typical arrogance and condescension towards the natives seen in virtually every settler colonial movement. That the early settlers interacted with the natives while simultaneously claiming the land was empty was not seen as contradictory to them. According to these colonists, even if some scattered, disorganized people did exist, they were not worthy of the land they inhabited. They were unable to transform the land into a modern functioning nation state, extract resources efficiently and contribute to ‘civilization’ through the free market, unlike the settlers. Patrick Wolfe’s scholarship on Australia illustrates this dynamic and how it was exploited to establish the settler colony.

[47-protons]

uninstalls libre office so that i stop writing angsty shit for just me and blorbo from my brain at 2am

(I’m never going to but i Do at some point need to organize several docs into one)

[jewish-sideblog]

Any time I see people call Israel a settler colonialist state I think about the history of the Mizrahi Jews who remained in Judea.

Mizrahi Jews in the seventh century, whose families had lived as native Israelites for 1,800 years, watching the Rashidun Caliphate move the first major wave of Arab Muslim migration into the imperial conquest they called "Military Palestine".

Mizrahi Jews who, over the course of the next 1,200 years, remained in the Levant. The ones who faced persecution, pogroms, and massacres under the Caliphates and Ottomans. The ones who stood strong and stayed put, as access to holy sites they had prayed at for three thousand years were taken from them. The ones who were faced with a choice between conversion and death, but chose neither.

Mizrahi Jews who watched as the modern State of Israel was established-- perhaps sighing in relief for just a moment. Maybe now, they would not be persecuted minorities in the land they had lived in for over three thousand years. Only to see other Mizrahim forced to flee their homes in Morocco, Yemen, Iraq, Egypt, Lebanon, Iran... Muslim-ruled countries that, through official law or social persecution, intentionally forced other Middle Eastern Jews to leave their homes and settle in Israel.

And the Mizrahi Jews today, who are the majority of the population of Israel. Most Israelis today are either Mizrahim who had lived in what is now Israeli territory for millennia, or Mizrahim who lived nearby and were forced by Muslim-majority nations to immigrate to Israel. Now, they get called "settler colonists", they get called "Europeans", they get called "fascists" and "Zionists". The world accuses them of occupying and stealing Palestinian land.

What were they supposed to have done differently?

Edit 12/27/23: Not so friendly reminder that if your "rebuttal" is to blame the actions of the Israeli government on Israeli civilians, I'm not even gonna bother to read the whole thing. I'll start believing that's a valid argument when average Americans get brought to the Hague for what the US government did in Cambodia.

[httpsserene]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴛᴄᴀᴍᴘ ᴡ/ᴍᴠ33

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you start showing interest in sim racing. max's only option is to turn you into the best virtual-racer there ever was--well besides himself, of course. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: fluff. brain vomit. formatting (done on mobile💀). tiniest explicit reference. not edited. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: max verstappen x fem!black!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: headcanons & smau 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: word on the streets • key glock

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: thought about this the whole time i was working. and then some man had the exact same voice as max and i genuinely almost dissolved into thin air because i felt like max was punishing me for thinking about this on the clock :) anyways, hope u enjoy the brainrot, loves !!!

wanna be on my taglist ? send me an ask !

and yes, i did make a masterlist !

*whispers* next f1 kinktober fic this weekend

you were probably unaware that sim racing was even a thing until you started dating max

like you’ve seen the funny little twitch clips of people playing driving simulators and being absolute menaces on the road, but you never knew actual virtual racing was a thing

anyways, whether or not you consider yourself a gamer in this scenario, you’ve always been pretty down to play videogames with max.

he absolutely annihilates you in FIFA, and no matter how much he tries to help you, you’re a lost cause

in return, you embarrass him in COD; he should’ve looked at your kd-ratio before he tried to play with you

but, sim racing 🧐

i mean, like, you never even fully considered that you could sim race at all, like not for leisure at least

max takes that shit seriously, he’s a part-time f1 driver full time simracing twitch streamer 😤

you are always around watching him practice on the sim, playing the f1 games, and even tuning in for his iracing competitions

at first, whenever max would stream you would probably be doing other things with your time

your hair, cleaning, self-care, cooking, etc.

eventually, you started migrating to sitting on the couch off-camera and watching him drive irl instead of having the stream on in the background

you were originally like, “oh it’s just because i wanna drool over his massive veiny hands” 🤤

but now it’s like “oh i wonder what each button he presses with his nicely proportioned fingers on the steering wheel does?”

and slowly it transforms from “wow my boyfriend is so cool” to “wait…this sim-racing thing is kinda cool”😵‍💫

now imagine you being like “lol wait a minute now” and being like i'm only interested in because my boyfriend loves it 🤥

in order to disprove this theory you start to ask max questions about virtual racing

not that you wouldn’t before, but they were fairly surface level; now you’re asking him about tactics, strategies, and track conditions etc.

and max is fucking thrilled 🫨🫨🫨 !!!

he eagerly answers all your questions (maxplaning 🥱), going way more into depth than you were expecting, but what did you think was going to happen

max is always happy to ramble about any small facet of virtual racing (doesn’t matter if it’s the sim, or iracing, or f1 2023) but

it makes him really pleased that you’re showing a genuine interest in it because most people don’t

you support him in anything he wants to do wholeheartedly, and listening and answering your well thought out questions has him falling head over heels for you again

so, he thinks nothing of it other than you being the best girlfriend he’s ever had and trying to learn more about what he loves

his previous girlfriends didn’t really care to understand how important vr racing was to him

they all just saw it as him playing a “game” and him wasting time when they could’ve been on dates or smth

anyways

everything is going fine and dandier, max continues to answer all of your vr racing questions, and you continue to watch him pilot the sim

until, he catches you watching a beginner’s guide on f1 2023 and get’s so jealous 😒

bro is all like “wtf, you’re watching some lame ass unranked gamer when i’m your professional driver boyfriend who does this for a living?? hell nah if you want to start playing i’ll teach you”

you’re just like, “nahhhh….i don’t want to waste your time trying to teach me, it’s not worth it. i’m not even a good driver irl, so—“

max shuts that down expeditiously

if his girlfriend wants to start vr racing, he only has one option

make you the best virtual racer there ever was (excluding him)

you’re wide-eyed like, “i just wanna go vroom vroom in circles for fun 😭”

max deathly serious, “that was never an option”

he enlists you in his virtual-racing training camp

if you are aware of the disney rapid training montage where the mc sings one song and suddenly they’re the best fighter ever, that’s how i imagined it

mulan, for example, i’ll make a man out of you

max reveals his inner george russell, he becomes a power point king

instead of date nights being cute pottery classes—they turn into him teaching you the parts of the car, the buttons on the wheel, f1 2023 settings breakdowns, reviewing iracing competitions etc.

eventually max finally allows you to play on the sim after he thinks you’ve got the theory down pretty good

you suck at first 🤗

but then you start clocking in some hours

after work, during your “lunch break”, using the sim while max is gone and playing during all the practice and media sessions

whenever max is gone, and you have any questions or ask for feedback on how to get better, you text him all about it, of course not expecting an immediate response back

max has told you before that he likes getting out of the car after a practice session and checking his phone to see all the missed messages from you with some wishing him luck and the others asking for his thoughts on your strategies

one day, he’s going for lunch with some of the other drivers and they start to make fun of him for how he’s stuck in his phone, heart-eyes and all as he rapidly texts you

they probably think that you’re sending him cute texts or photos like that one time they caught him looking at photos of you and learned he had a locked photo album of you on his phone ☠️

max remains unbothered under their teasing thinking, “they don’t know my gf can out pace them by .200 in f1 2023”

max even personally bothers christian into getting him another sim for you

christian is so tired of you two, max won’t leave him ALONE

i think max would text his team principal screenshots of your lap times and make jokes about it

“if checo keeps dnf-ing, my gf can fill in”

christian gets you the goddamn sim 😒

y’all procrastinate on building and calibrating it, max more so because it means his chair would stop smelling like you 🥺

you get it set up, but you still play on his sim every once in a while after he told you that because you’re a simp

he goes to stream one day, planning on practicing with the redline team for an upcoming iracing event

and the man almost BREAKS HIS LEGS trying to sit down because you forgot to move the chair back after you were done using it 😭😭

in between his groan of pain he let’s it slip “ow fuck, my girlfriend forgot to move the seat back after she was done”

chat goes ducking crazy

yooo, what? ur gf sim races???

is she good???

max is like “hell fucking yeah my girlfriend is great sim racer, she could replace one of the boys at redline if she wanted too!”

(team redline sweats anxiously, mics now suspiciously silent)

max continues, “well she is not as great as me, but she’s good i guess”

stream chat “they are going to have babies that completely dominate f1” “if their babies are born in the netherlands we will be stuck in purgatory cursed with hearing the dutch anthem forever”

max continues with his practice but everyone is begging to see you play, even some of the redline guys are asking questions

they wanna know if they’re really at risk of you stealing their seat

max gives up and turns to you on the couch with a smile and says, “i will beg, schatje. do not put it past me, we all want to see you drive. some people are saying i’m lying so you have to prove them wrong🙇🏼”

you’re like “what 😅 no 😧i suck 🤭 at this 🤗” but you’re already getting up and walking over to boot up your sim

the urge to flex on people and embarrass them is something both you and max share

max opens f1 2023 and starts a party for just you two, and you both decide to do quali laps at zandovoort

you do your hot lap first, and max goes after you

max y’ know, probably thinks that he can take it relatively easier on you, there’s no reason to put 100% effort into something for fun, so he puts in 95% 😀 (competitive boy)

and you know that one nepenthez meme

that’s how this goes

max is like, already rambling to the stream “yeah that’s a comfortable p1, she still has a lot to learn before she can beat a world champ—P2??!!!! 😧😳”

you’re just in the background in your sim chair, turned facing the camera with an innocent little smirk smile on your face ☺️

you got pole by .050, and chat starts bullying max, the redline boys laughing hysterically in his headphones

max requests a rematch and promptly annihilates you :)

i like to imagine that eventually you start joining max’s stream and the two of yous start having little racing tournaments whenever you guys have the time

omg could you imagine the little championship ceremony where you put party hats on jimmy and sassy and have fake little tiny gold trophies for whoever wins 🥹

imagine one day ‼️ you actually start doing iracing events, and just working your way up to being one of the best 😌

ANYWAYS to wrap it up, best teacher max ever

virtual racing 🤝 strong relationships

twitter • today

instagram

maxverstappen1 • 32 mins ago

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo3, and 7,324,122 ofhers

maxverstappen1 the only woman for me 🧎🏼

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram baby. baby—😭😭😭😭

➥ maxverstappen1 i love you

➥ yninstagram what the fuck has gotten into you 😳 i love you, maxy 🫶🏽

user the way ‼️ he cradles ‼️ her head 😭😭

danielricciardo3 this genuinely the sappiest thing max has ever said

➥ maxverstappen1 do not worry daniel you are the only man for me

➥ user my therapist will be hearing about this

user the fact that max personally handmade that meme 💀

user never thought i’d see the day that max uses the kneeling emoji

➥ maxverstappen1 i’m on my knees for her more often than you think

➥ user alRIGHT go ahead and clock out for me 😒

➥ redbullracingf1 do you remember the media training we had two days ago, max?

taglist: @lorarri | @saintslewis | @cherry2stems | @sweetpiccolo-blog

© httpsserene2023

[hellsitegenetics]

Sneaking in under the wire before asks get closed to profess my love for my favorite critter on earth and that's BIRDS BABY

Guys got wings and flight (mostly) and FEATHERS? birds baby! Little beaks and little feet and nests?? ALL BIRDS BABY

Went to college for six years to study these fuckers (affectionate) (well the whole six years wasnt birds, the first three were Denial and Failing Chemistry More Than Once), and now I'm studying birds and I'm an avid birder and I love them more than potentially most other things

my current favorite is the belted kingfisher in case anyone was curious (you weren't but you should google him anyway they're perfect) and a close second is literally any of the nightjar/goatsucker family (pennant winged nightjar anyone?? literally PERFECT BEING)

anyway sorry for all the yelling im a little overtired and want all my babies to migrate home safe as the weather warms up

so all of this bird-flavored ranting to a captive audience to say: I am DETERMINED to be the first bird detected on this page

🐦‍⬛

String identified:

ag t a gt c t at ctt at a tat' A

G gt g a gt (t) a AT? a! tt a a tt t a t?? A A

t t cg a t t t c (actat) ( t a at , t t t a a ag Ct Ta c), a ' tg a ' a a a t ta tta t t tg

ct at t t g ca a a c ( 't t gg aa t' ct) a a c c ta a t gta/gatc a (at g gta a?? ta CT G)

aa a t g a tt t a at a a t gat a a t at a

a t -a atg t a cat ac t a: a T t t t tct t ag

Closest match: Gerris lacustris genome assembly, chromosome: 9 Common name: Common pond skater

[criptochecca]

this might be a rly ignorant question but i am genuinely wondering and just want to know: what is the issue with israelis moving to thailand (referring to that haaretz article you posted)? people in the comments are talking about colonization but i dont get it, isn't this just migration? what am i missing here i feel so stupid

Rich Israelis move en masse to a global south country, buy a bunch of land, build their expensive houses, inflate the prices of the housing market, then move onto the next thing.

Not to mention that Thailand is a very interesting destination, considering the majority of the underpayed labour force in Israel is compromised of Thai labourers.

And I'm not even gonna touch on the whole sexual tourism issue.

[arminreindl]

Pachycetinae: The Thick Whales

Oh look I'm way behind not only on my work with wikipedia but also in regards to summarizing it on tumblr. Good thing, three of the pages I've worked on these past few months can just be summed up in one post because they are all one family.

So Pachycetinae, at the most basic level, are basilosaurid archaeocetes, the group that famously includes Basilosaurus and Dorudon. Reason I've picked up the articles in addition to my usual croc work, basically a friend and I noticed how lacklustre many pages are and stupidly decided to start revising all of Cetacea (pray for me).

Currently theres two genera within the group. Pachycetus aka Platyosphys aka Basilotritus, which is a whole mess I will get into at the end for those interested, and Antaecetus, which I'll just call "the good one" for now. Among those are three species. Pachycetus paulsonii (or Basilotritus uheni) from continental Europe (Germany and Ukraine mostly), Pachycetus wardii (Eastern United Staates) and Antaecetus aithai (Morocco and Egypt)

Picture: Pachycetus and Antaecetus by Connor Ashbridge

So the hallmark of Pachycetines, as the name would suggest, is the fact that their skeletons are notably denser than that of other basilosaurids. The vertebrae, the most abundant material of these whales, are described as pachyostatic and osteosclerotic. The former effecitvely means that the dense cortical bone forms thickened layers, while the latter means that the cortical bone, already forming thickened layers, is furthermore denser than in other basilosaurids with less porosities. The densitiy is increased further by how the ribs attack to the vertebrae not through sinovial articulation but through cartilage, so adding even more weight to them. Overall this is at times compared to manatees, famous for their dense skeletons.

Pictured below, the currently best preserved pachycetine fossil, an individual of the genus Antaecetus from Morocco.

Now there are some interesting anatomical features to mention that either differ between species or just can't be compared. For example the American species of Pachycetus, P. wardii, shows a well developed innominate bone, basically the fused pelvic bones. This is curious as one would think of it as a more basal feature, with derived whales gradually reducing them. The skull is best preserved in Antaecetus and has a very narrow snout. One way to differentiate the two is by the teeth. Pachycetus has larger, more robust teeth while that of Antaecetus are way more gracile and is thought to have had a proportionally smaller skull (in addition to being smaller than Pachycetus in general).

All of this has some interesting implications for their ecology. For instance, why the hell are they so dense? Well its possible that they were shallow water animals using their weight as ballast, staying close to the ocean floor. This would definitely find some support in the types of environments they show up in, which tend to be shallow coastal waters. There are some Ukrainian localities that suggest deeper waters, but that has been interpreted as being the result of migration taking them out of their prefered habitat.

Now while pachycetines were probably powerful swimmers, their dense bones mean that they were pretty slow regardless. And to add insult to injury, they were anything but maneuverable. Remember those long transverse processes? Turns out having them extend over the majority of the vertebral body means theres very little space for muscles in between, which limits sideways movements.

From this one can guess that they weren't pursuit predators and needed to ambush their prey. What exactly that was has been inferred based on tooth wear. Basically, the teeth of Pachycetus show a lot of abrasion and wear, not dissimlar to what is seen in modern orcas that feed on sharks and rays. And low and behold, sharks are really common in the same strata that Pachycetus shows up in. Now since Antaecetus had way more gracile teeth, its thought that it probably fed on less well protected animals like squids and fish.

Below: Pachycetus/Basilotritus catching a fish by @knuppitalism-with-ue

The relationship between pachycetines and other basilosaurids is wonky, again no thanks due to Pachycetus itself being very poorly known. Some studies have suggested that they were a very early branching off-shoot, in part due to their prominent hip bones, but in the most recent study to include them, the description of Tutcetus, they surprisingly came out as not just the most derived basilosaurids but as the immediate sister group to Neoceti, which includes all modern whales. Regardless, in both instances they seem to clade closely with Supayacetus, a small basilosaurid from Peru.

And now for the part that is the most tedious. Taxonomy and history.

Remains of pachycetines have been known for a while and were first described as early as 1873 by Russian scientists. To put into perspective how old that is. The material's history in science predates both World Wars, the collapse of the Russian Empire and even the reign of Tsar Nicholas II. Now initially the idea was to name the animal Zeuglodon rossicum, but the person doing the actual describing changed that to Zeuglodon paulsonii reasoning that it would eventually be found outside of Russia (something that aged beautifully given that Ukraine would eventually become independent).

And this is where the confusion starts to unfold. Because at the same time people unearthed pachycetine fossils in Germany too, which would come be given the name Pachycetus (thick whale) and be established as two species. Pachycetus robustus and Pachycetus humilis, both thought to be baleen whales.

Pictured below: Pierre-Joseph van Beneden who coined Pachycetus and Johann Friedrich Brandt who described Zeuglodon paulsonii. Beneden easily has the better beard.

These latter two names however were later rejected in 1935 by Kuhn and lumped into other species, whereas Zeuglodon paulsonii was elevated to a full on new genus by Remington Kellogg in 1936. For those curious, Platyosphys means "broad loin", in combination with the species "Paulson's broad loin" to the amusement of some friends of mine.

And then people stopped caring and we have a nearly 70 year research gap. Eventually Mark D. Uhen found fossil material in the United States, but interpreted those fossils as being part of the genus Eocetus, naming them Eocetus wardii, a move that many following researchers disagreed with.

Then in 2001 a new species of Platyosphys, P. einori, was named. It's bad, moving on. More importantly, we got the works of Gol'din and Zvonok, who attempted to bring some clarity into the whole thing. To do so they rejected the name Platyosphys on account of the holotype having been lost sometime in WW2 and picked out much better fossil material to coin the genus Basilotritus ("the third king" in allusion to Basilosaurus "king lizard" and Basiloterus "the other king", isn't etymology fun?). They erected the type species Basilotritus uheni and then proclaimed Eocetus wardii to also belong into this genus, making it Basilotritus wardii.

This move was however not followed by other researchers. Gingerich and Zhouri maintained that regardless of being lost, Platyosphys is still valid and can be sufficiently diagnosed by the original drawings from the 19th and early 20th century. And to take a step further they added a new species, Platyosphys aithai (weird, why does that name sound familiar).

Then Van Vliet came and connected all these dots I've set up so far, noting that the fossils of Platyosphys are nearly identical to those of Pachycetus. This lead to the fun little thing were "paulsonii", applied first to Zeuglodon in the 1870s, takes priority over "robustus", coined just a few years later, BUT, the genus name Pachycetus easily predates Platyosphys by a good 60 years. Subsequently, the two were combined. Platyosphys paulsonii and Pachycetus robustus became Pachycetus paulsonii (simplified*). Van Vliet then deemed humilis to be some other whale and carried over Basilotritus uheni, Basilotritus wardii and Platyosphys aithai into the genus Pachycetus. *Technically Pachycetus robustus was tentatively kept as distinct only because of how poorly preserved it was, making comparisson not really possible.

Then finally in the most recent paper explicitly dealing with this group, Gingerich and Zhouri came back, killed off P. robustus for good, sunk Pachycetus uheni into Pachycetus paulsonii for good measure and decided to elevate Pachycetus aithai to genus status after finding a much better second skeleton, coining Antaecetus (after the giant of Greek myth).

And that's were we are right now. Three species in two genera, but only one of them is actually any good. So perhaps at some point in the future we might see some further revisions on that whole mess and who knows, perhaps Basilotritus makes a glorious comeback.

To conclude, sorry about the lack of images, despite the ample history theres just not much good material aside from that one Antaecetus fossil and I didn't want to include 5 different drawings in lateral view. Obligatory Wikipedia links: Pachycetinae - Wikipedia Antaecetus - Wikipedia Pachycetus - Wikipedia

Ideally Supayacetus will be the next whale I tackle, distractions and other projects not withstanding (who knows maybe I'll finally finish Quinkana)

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Alla Nazimova (A Doll's House, Camille, Salomé)—She was a proud lesbian, she was a director, she was artsy and experimental, she was instrumental in the rise to fame of Rudolph Valentino, she had the worlds biggest strap on energy

Xia Meng, also known as Hsia Moog or Miranda Yang (Sunrise, Bride Hunter)—For those who are familiar with Hong Kong's early cinema, Xia Meng is THE leading woman of an era, the earliest "silver-screen goddess", "The Great Beauty" and "Audrey Hepburn of the East". Xia Meng starred in 38 films in her 17-year career, and famously had rarely any flops, from her first film at the age of 18 to her last at the age of 35. She was a rare all-round actress in Mandarin-language films, acting, singing, and dancing with an enchanting ease in films of diverse genres, from contemporary drama to period operas. She was regarded as the "crown princess" among the "Three Princesses of the Great Wall", the iconic leading stars of the Great Wall Movie Enterprises, which was Hong Kong's leading left-wing studio in the 1950s-60s. At the time, Hong Kong cinema had only just taken off, but Xia Meng's influence had already spread out to China, Singapore, etc. Overseas Chinese-language magazines and newspapers often featured her on their covers. The famous HK wuxia novelist Jin Yong had such a huge crush on her that he made up a whole fake identity as a nobody-screenwriter to join the Great Wall studio just so he can write scripts for her. He famously said, "No one has really seen how beautiful Xi Shi (one of the renowned Four Beauties of ancient China) is, I think she should be just like Xia Meng to live up to her name." In 1980, she returned to the HK film industry by forming the Bluebird Movie Enterprises. As a producer with a heart for the community, she wanted to make a film on the Vietnam War and the many Vietnam War refugees migrating to Hong Kong. She approached director Ann Hui and produced the debut film Boat People (1982), a globally successful movie and landmark feature for Hong Kong New Wave, which won several awards including the best picture and best director in the second Hong Kong Film Award. Years later, Ann Hui looked back on her collaboration with Xia Meng, "I'm very grateful to her for allowing me to make what is probably the best film I've ever made in my life."

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Alla Nazimova:

HOT as hell. GAY as hell. TALENTED as hell. Producer, director, writer, actress. A silent era superstar who is credited with having coined the term "sewing circle" as a code-word for gatherings of lesbian and bisexual women. Has been called "the founding mother of Sapphic Hollywood" and was the owner/operator of the Garden of Alla Hotel in West Hollywood, which she bought in 1919 and sold in 1928 after deciding she wanted to go back to Broadway. In addition to starring opposite Valentino in Camille, she also had an affair with BOTH of his wives (Jean Acker and Natacha Rambova). In her day, she was one of the most influential women in the business.

"Nazimova was primarily a star during the silent film era, and her career in film started when she was almost forty. She was openly bisexual, and was engaged in two lavender marriages during her life while she carried on relationships with women (including at least one, and possibly two, of Rudolph Valentino's wives). She was brilliant and an autodidact - when she first moved to the United States from Ukraine, she spoke no English, but taught herself "in about five months" and went on to work as a screenwriter (among other things). Her predilections lay in art film, and she's credited with starring in / producing / directing one of the first American art films, the adaptation of Oscar Wilde's play Salome (1923). She has an elegant and commanding presence in all of her films, and is an absolute sensation to watch in motion."

Gif link, another gif link

A great actress who also produced a great deal of her films, Nazimova is absolutely mesmerizing to watch. She was also bi and coined the phrase "sewing circle" for sapphic celebrities.

Xia Meng:

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: basking shark

I'm not feeling too motivated today, so, I'm going to discuss another animal that likes to take it easy: the basking shark. This shark decided it's not into that whole "hunt down prey and fight to live" thing and decided to become a filter feeder instead. It seems to have worked out too, as basking sharks can be found worldwide and are the second largest fish, surpassed only by the whale shark. There is only one extant species of basking shark, but a few extinct species have been discovered.

(image id: a basking shark seen from the side. It is a large, brown shark with a large head and pointed snout. Its mouth is closed)

Cetorhinus maximus is one of only 3 species of filter-feeding shark, the others being the whale shark and the awesomely-named megamouth shark. Basking sharks average 8 meters (26 ft) in length, but can reach up to 11 meters (36 ft). An average adult weighs around 4650 kg (5 tons). They have a typical shark body shape (which has led to them being mistaken for great white sharks), but the mouth anatomy is different. The mouth can open up to a meter wide and appears toothless, though it is actually filled with tiny, conical teeth that appear to serve no purpose in adults. The gill slits are longer than in most shark species and almost completely encircle the head. Like other filter-feeding fish, the basking shark's gills are also used to catch its food. It swims forward with its mouth open and as water passed over the gills, zooplankton and small invertebrates and fish will get caught in the gill rakers, from where they can be swallowed. The basking shark's favorite food is copepods of the order Calanoida, though they will also target other copepods. They can detect their prey with electroreception like other sharks. Because plankton is not known for being fast and adult basking sharks have no natural predators, they aren't known for being particularly speedy. A basking shark on the hunt moves at a blistering 3 km/hr (1.9mph). They can move in fast bursts of speed and occasionally can jump clear out of the water. It's not 100% clear why they breach, but it seems to have a few benefits. It can help dislodge parasites (which is a big issue for basking sharks. They are often covered with scars from lampreys and cookie-cutter sharks) and notably they breach more during mating season, so it may also be used for sexual display. Breaching and the resulting splash may also be used for long-distance communication and threat displays. I remember being a kid watching Shark Week and being told by the TV that great whites are the only shark species that breach and that was just not even remotely true. The basking shark has the lowest brain to body weight ratio of any shark.

(image id: a basing shark seen from the front with its mouth open. The mouth is very large and white on the inside. Its gill slits can be seen from the inside, looking like large slits in the side of the mouth)

(video: a basking shark leaping out of the water multiple times)

The name basking shark comes from their typical behavior. They swim slowly at the surface of the water while feeding, leading to sailors thinking they were basking in the sun. They were commonly called sunfish, but the name is no longer commonly used to avoid confusion with the ocean sunfish. While swimming at the surface, they sometimes spin around or swim belly-up. Basking sharks are migratory, traveling toward the poles in summer and toward the equator in winter. It was formerly believed that they hibernated over the winter, but it is now known that they spend their time in deep water. While migrating and in summer, basking sharks display social behavior. They will shoal in groups hundreds strong and can often be found in small groups of similarly-sized fish, usually of the same sex. Not much is known about basking shark mating. They are ovoviviparous, with eggs hatching internally and developing further inside the mother before the pups are born. Gestation is believed to take between 1 and 3 years and a few large pups are born at a time. Pregnant females are very rarely seen and they may spend their time in deep water. There is only a single reported example of a pregnant female being caught and it has 6 pups. The seemingly useless teeth may actually be used in utero, as the unborn pups likely feed on unfertilized eggs after their yolk sacs are consumed. This adaptation has been observed in other ovoviviparous sharks. While females have two ova, only the right one actually functions. The lifespan of basking sharks is estimated to be around 50 years.

(image id: a group of 14 basking sharks swimming in a circle, seed form above. It is believed that this is a mating display)

(image id: a juvenile basking shark seen from above. It can be distringuished from an adult by the snout, which is sharp and hooked)

Basking sharks are classified as endangered by the IUCN. They has historically been hunted for their meat, hides, fatty livers, and fins. While there is currently no commercial fishery of basking sharks, they are poached for their fins and have not recovered from overexploitation. Bycatch is an ongoing problem for the sharks. Multiple countries have enacted conservation efforts including legal protection and the enactment of protected areas where fishing is prohibited. Basking sharks pose no threat to humans. They also do not fear humans and have even been known to approach and swim around divers. Basking sharks also appear a lot in the pseudoscience of cryptozoology. I can go into why cryptozoology is a pseudoscience in more detail in another post, but its the study of alleged animals not recognized by science. Basking sharks show up a lot as globsters, unidentified corpses that wash up on beaches or are caught in fishing nets. Basking sharks are responsible for a lot of globsters due to the way their corpses decay. Large amounts of decay happen around the head, which can lead to the mandible bones hanging loose or detaching and the snout decaying to look like a small head on a neck. In addition, the claspers (reproductive organs) of male basking sharks are very large and can be mistaken for limbs. One likely example of this is the Stronsay beast of 1808. Described as a six-legged decaying sea serpent, it is likely that the legs were actually the jaw bones, fins, and claspers of a male basing shark. A more recent example is the Zuiyo-Maru plesiosaur (warning: picture below and it's gross). This carcass was pulled up by the Japanese fishing boat Zuiyō-Maru in 1977 and based on the pictures taken and the word of two Japanese scientists, was thought by some to be an example of a recently-deceased plesiosaur. While the carcass itself was thrown back overboard, some samples were taken for analysis and based on them and anatomical detains from the pictures, it was concluded that the carcass is actually a heavily-decayed basking shark. The "neck" of the carcass is the spine and brain case with the jaws having decayed and fallen off. Further anatomical details such as the presence of cartilage in the fins and body proportions support the carcass being a fin and do not support it being a plesiosaur.

(Image id: top: the Zuiyo-Maru carcass, a large, decomposed carcass hanging rom a hook. It appears to have a long neck and fins. Bottom: a diagram comparing the anatomical features of the carcass and a fresh basking shark)

[bratzforchris]

You Are In Love

❃

Summary: You and Luke have been through so many ups and downs and life adventures together, that he decides it's finally time to show you how much he loves you. Part 3 to the sugar daddy!Luke series (but can be read as a standalone!).

Pairing: Sugar daddy!Luke x feminine reader

Warnings: age gap relationship (college student x older male), sugar daddy/baby and dom/sub dynamics, unprotected p in v, oral (m receiving), marking, dirty talk, hooking up, fingering, overstimulation, fluffy ending (i think that's all but lmk if i missed something in the comments!)

Word Count: 7.5k

A/N: hi besties! i'm officially done with this semester of college so i finally had some time to write and finish up this story that i've been working on all month :) i hope you all love it! happy holidays you guys<3

(p.s. this is based off of "You Are In Love" by taylor swift<3)

❃

“Luke!” You squealed, writhing under him as he tickled you. “Stop!” You gasped for air, giggling beyond belief. 

“Or what?” he asked. 

“Or we have to get up and go get those matching Burberry coats I sent you last week.” You smirked, looking up at him with soft doe eyes. 

The blond hummed, kissing your neck softly. “We can do that anyway, baby girl.”

“Luke,” You whined again. “I was kidding. I don’t need them.”

“Ah ah,” he tutted, running his pointer finger along your chin as he laid down beside you. “No pouting, honey. That’s the point of having a sugar daddy, is it not?” he asked. 

You blushed, hiding your face in his hairy chest. “Mhm. I think we should keep having snuggle time first, though.” 

“If you insist.” Luke yawned, kissing your forehead and pulling your naked body closer to his own on the silk sheets. 

You two had just finished a rather spicy scene and now you were simply content to lay in bed and cuddle on the chilly, Saturday afternoon. Luke had a way like that. You could just lay in silence with him for hours and not get bored. You laid your head on his strong chest as he pulled out his phone, scrolling through his work emails before migrating to Instagram. The blond’s whole aura was so calming, that even the most mundane things he had to do mesmerized you. 

You watched as a smile grew on Luke’s face. “What?” You asked. 

“Remember this?” he asked you, tilting the phone so you could see the post.

It was an Instagram memory from a year and a half ago. It was of you and Luke at one of Columbia’s charity balls, dressed in black tie. That night was still one of your favorite memories. Since then, you two had grown so much, both as individuals and together. You would be receiving your undergrad degree in May from Columbia and Luke was on top of the world with the current stock market. Your relationship had grown as well, moving away from the sugar daddy/baby dynamic. Your relationship was no longer transactional, and Luke absolutely loved to show you off to the world. He still spoiled you beyond belief, both with material things and with a freakishly active sex life, especially now that you were living in his humongous  penthouse apartment with him. Despite all this, you began to let your mind wander as you laid on Luke’s chest, thinking back to that night last May. 

One look, dark room, meant just for you. You gazed across the ballroom of The Plaza Hotel, watching the tall blond. His curls cascaded against his face in an almost princelike way, but you couldn’t deny that he was looking at you. You sipped your ginger ale that had been poured in a champagne flute, hoping the dimness of the room would hide your blush. Time moved too fast, and before you knew it, he was standing next to you. 

“Hey,” he hummed in a luxuriously deep voice. “Having fun?”

“Mhm!” You nodded, trying your best to appear that you were, especially since you didn’t know exactly who he was. 

“You’re better than me,” he chuckled, downing the last of his cocktail. “I hated these things when I was here.”

“Oh?” You asked, your interest piqued. 

“Luke Hemmings,” he nodded, holding his hand out for you to shake. “Columbia grad.”

“Oh,” You bit your lip, trying to hide your shock. “I know you, I think.” 

“Most people do, sweetheart.” he chuckled. 

“You’re big on Wall Street, right?”

Luke nodded brushing closer to you. The blond was clearly happy that you knew who he was, and it was evident as he pressed himself closer to you, brushing the buttons of his coat against your emerald green, silken gown. “Not nearly the biggest.” he laughed lightheartedly. 

The sound made you swell up with happiness. Luke’s laugh was unusual for a body like his, but it suited him so well. It was warm and sunshiney, just like his smile and the golden curls that engulfed him in his own personal halo. 

“So, do you have a name? Or are you just the mysterious pretty girl?” he chuckled. 

The feeling that this beautiful (not to mention wealthy) man wanted to know who you were made the butterflies in your stomach take flight. You gazed up at him, studying his stubble and his beautiful, full lashes, before you trailed your eyes down to his plump, pink lips. You knew he was older; you were still only a sophomore at the university, after all, but despite not having any proof, you had seen enough to know that Luke was looking for more than just a conversation. 

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” You smiled softly, brushing back against him. “You’re really nice.”

Luke chuckled, wrapping an arm around you. Instead of shrinking back like you would if any other man did that, you melted into the blond’s touch, noting how warm and soft he was. He stayed silent for a moment, before gazing down at you. “So, would you wanna get out of here?” he asked. 

“With a man I just met?” You joked. 

“It’s just a question. Up to you.” he whispered huskily into your ear. 

You nodded, a sudden streak of boldness running through you. “Y’know what? Why not?”

Luke smiled, grabbing your hand and leading you through the crowd as you dodged some of your professors, university faculty, waiters, and esteemed party goers in general. Once you made it out into the main hallway of the hotel, you breathed a sigh of relief. The lobby was nearly empty, which wasn’t surprising, seeing as it was almost midnight. The plush carpet sank under your feet as you and Luke walked up to the valet desk. The staff didn’t even need a name, they simply hurried off to retrieve the blond’s car. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, holding your hand as you walked down the grand marble steps to the sidewalks of New York City. 

“A little bit…” You admitted sheepishly, a blush dotting your cheeks for probably the fiftieth time that evening. 

Luke smiled softly, pulling off his suit jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. “Better?”

You nodded softly, breathing in the scent of his expensive cologne. “Thank you, Luke.”

As you spoke, a sleek black car pulled up to the curb and the driver hopped out, opening the doors for you and Luke. You didn’t miss the Bentley logo on the hood as you carefully stepped in, noting the fine Italian leather. Luke stepped into the driver’s seat beside you, immediately revving the car up and pulling out into the never-ending traffic of the city. 

“What did you have in mind?” You asked your newfound partner. 

“Whatever you like,” Luke smirked. “But there is a beautiful French coffee shop near here that’s open all night?” 

“Sounds perfect.” You said graciously, smiling at him from the passenger side. 

“So,” the blond started, making small talk. “What’s your major?”

You smiled over at him. Luke’s eyes were genuine as he pulled into a parking deck near the cafe. Before you could even answer, he was parking and helping you out of the car. He was such a gentleman, it almost made you wonder why he was talking to you instead of any other girl. You held onto the blond’s arm as he helped you out, smiling up at him. 

“Journalism,” You said happily, always willing to talk about your major and passions. “I wanna be a music journalist.”

Luke smiled, holding your hand as you walked down the levels to the street. “I’ve always loved music. When I’m not working, that is. Wall Street doesn’t give a ton of time for much else…unless it’s something I really want.”

As you two walked into the cafe, you couldn’t help but to notice the chain of your necklace, reflecting in the lights of the city that never slept. Luke opened the door for you and led you into the establishment, easily ordering you both a coffee. You sat down at the table in the corner while you waited, trying not to let how giddy you were with nerves show. 

“Do you have a certain time you need to be back by?” Luke asked you, checking his golden Rolex as the waitress placed a fancy coffee in front of you both.

You shrugged, looking him up and down with a flirty look. “Not unless you’re ready to be rid of me.” You hummed, twirling a strand of your hair. 

Most people probably wouldn’t believe you unless they were your best friends, but despite your studious personality, you loved to flirt. Besides, who wouldn’t want to see what a billionaire CEO who was not lacking in looks had in mind? You could see it in Luke’s blue eyes that he was having similar thoughts as he searched your own.  You smirked at his reaction, biting your lap as he placed one of his large, ring-clad hands on your knee. 

“Finish your drink then we can get out of here.” he said, almost like a command. 

You hurriedly did as he said, enjoying the rich, French coffee that warmed you from the inside out. You could practically see Luke’s eyes clouding over with want for you, and you longed to see what his chest looked like free from the white button-down he was sporting. As soon as you had finished your last sip, he was pulling you up and out of the shop, smiling fondly at you as you wandered back to his car. 

“There are some…rules we need to follow if we’re gonna go further.” Luke hummed as you both got in the car. 

“I understand,” You said sweetly, looking at him. “Go on.”

“I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to make that clear. I want someone I can fuck and spoil without having to worry about…everything else,” the blond said, looking at you honestly. “Kinda like a sugar baby.” a smirk grew on his face. 

“Oh,” You said, flushing red. “That’s okay with me.” Your voice was sultry as you spoke. 

You knew Luke. You had done research on the top investment bankers on Wall Street for one of your classes and lo and behold there he was, number one at just twenty-six years old. It wasn’t even the money that was that enticing, though. It was just Luke as a person. Ever since you had seen him on your laptop screen, you had been in awe of him. He was absolutely beautiful, in a way that made him seem unreal; almost like he belonged with the gods instead of on Earth. The fact that someone like that wanted to be around you, sexually or not, was gratifying. 

“Second of all, you’re going to have to sign an NDA, sweetheart. No one else can know you hang around me, nor can they know where any gifts you get come from. Deal?” Luke asked, a hungry expression in his blue eyes. 

“Deal.” You nodded firmly. 

The blond snaked his large hand around the nape of your neck, pulling you across the console of the car as he began to kiss you. His tongue was soft and warm and tasted like a mix of coffee and the bourbon he must’ve consumed earlier in the evening. You kissed Luke back just as fervently, moving your hands to tangle in his honey-blond curls. It didn’t matter that this man was a billionaire you had just met. He tasted like both heaven and sin, as if he could save you, and make you do awful things. The scent of Hugo Boss Bottled was absolutely intoxicating on this man, making you want to bury your nose in his chest and stay there forever. 

“So, would you like to take this back to mine?” Luke asked softly, but with lust clouding his voice. 

You nodded quickly, and Luke planted one last kiss on your already swollen lips, starting the car. He quickly pulled out into the streets, zipping in between cars as he sped towards southern Central Park. You almost didn’t believe where he was going until the supertall, luxury high rises made of glass and steel came into view. You didn’t know why you had wondered where Luke lived; of course he lived on Billionaire’s Row with all the other businessmen and mega-celebrities. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Luke asked as he pulled up to the valet in the parking garage of his building. 

“It’s amazing,” You muttered, craning your head back as you observed the night sky that was aglow with the lights from all of the buildings. “It’s like something out of a movie.”

“Just wait until you see my penthouse.” Luke snuck the word that just affirmed his wealth into the sentence, kissing your cheek and placing a sneaky hand on your ass as he handed his keys to the valet. 

You leaned into his touch, looking up at him as he grinned down at you. Taking your hand, Luke led you to a slightly discreet elevator, smiling softly. “Up to mine.”

“You have your own elevator?” You didn’t know why you sounded so shocked. 

Luke chuckled. “Yes, sweetheart. I have my own elevator.”

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he led you into the fine, marble elevator. With the walls being made of glass, you could practically see the whole of New York City underneath you as you rose higher and higher. Luke’s hand hadn’t left your ass the whole time, and your heart raced at the thought of what the night held. Finally, you docked and the doors opened, allowing the blond to lead you into his penthouse apartment. 

“It’s beautiful.” You mumbled, breathlessly as you surveyed the humongous living room. 

“Sit down,” Luke nodded to the large L-shaped couch. “I’ll be right back.”

You carefully sat down on the white, plush couch tentatively, afraid of staining it or ruining it somehow because you were sure this couch cost more than you spent in three months. Your eyes darted around the apartment, noticing how everything was absolutely spotless and all white. It was a very neat apartment for a young bachelor, but then again, Luke probably had a maid. The blond returned shortly after, having ditched his suit jacket and brandishing papers and a bottle of Cabernet. 

“Would you like some?” he asked, reaching for wine glasses that were sitting on a crystal tray on the coffee table. 

“No thank you.” You blushed. 

Nevermind that you were only twenty. You were just terrified of spilling red wine on his white carpet and couch, not to mention your silk dress. Luke didn’t seem to mind, though. He just poured himself a glass and then pushed the papers and a fine, wooden pen towards you. His blue eyes held an almost soft honesty as he spoke to you, his curls that had been gelled back for the night falling loose. 

“This is an NDA. It has nothing to do with you. It’s just for my safety, and so the magazines don’t come after me or you. Understand?” he asked. 

You nodded, kissing his cheek that was much softer than you had expected. “I know what an NDA is, silly.”

Luke blushed, and you saw a hint of who he was out of the public eye. “I’m really sorry if this is awkward. I just…I think I come off more confident than I really am.”

“I understand,” You said honestly. “For what it’s worth, you’ve been so kind to me this evening.”

The blond gave you a crooked smile, pushing the papers. “Sign and then we can do something else.” he winked. 

You quickly signed the papers without a second thought and then turned to Luke. “What else were you thinking of?”

Luke grabbed you by the hips, pulling you across the couch and into his lap. Hoisting your emerald dress up your legs, you straddled him, looking down into his crystal eyes. Luke held both of his hands across your ass, pulling you closer to him as he began to softly suckle on your neck. You practically moaned at the feeling, bracing yourself against his broad shoulders. 

“Is that okay?” the blond asked, pulling back to look at you. 

“It’s better than okay.” You smiled, pecking his lips. 

Luke ran the hickeys down from behind your ear, across your collarbone, and then to your breasts. Unconsciously, you began to grind into his lap, feeling the blond’s bulge underneath you. He began to slowly bounce you on his leg, soft, erotic moans leaving his mouth as he unzipped the back of your dress. You whined at the feeling of your already-dampening panties at the way Luke ran his hands along your body and the noises that fell from his lips. 

“God, Y/N. You’re so fuckin’ hot,” he whispered huskily. “Wanna take you to my bed and fuck you until your little cunt can’t cum anymore.”

You whimpered at his dirty talk, pushing yourself into him. “Luke, please.”

He easily stood up, despite holding you, and carried you deeper inside the apartment. His bedroom was just as luxurious as the rest of the house, and the blond softly placed you on his California king bed, smiling softly at the way your silk dress fanned out on the sheets. You blushed under his gaze, well aware of the heat flaming your cheeks. Luke placed another kiss to your lips, undoing his tie. 

“So goddamn beautiful.”

You couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped you as Luke showered you with praises. He smirked softly at how cute you were, slipping his thumbs under the straps of your dress. You pushed yourself up to meet his hands, moaning softly as you arched your back. 

“May I?” he asked. 

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his back as he slid the dress off of you, smirking at your bare boobs and white thong. Luke bent, leaving a kiss on your wet underwear as he slowly pulled off your golden, strappy heels. After he tossed the shoes across the room, Luke began to unbutton his own white, dress shirt, giving what you had wanted all evening. You were practically salivating as Luke rid himself of his shirt, leaving you to revel in the glory of his chest.

He had the perfect mix of lean and slightly squishy on his body. His hairy chest mingled with the silver chain around his neck, which trailed down to his milky tummy, and then to the happy trail that snaked its way into his waistband. 

“Do you like what you see?” the blond asked you with a chuckle. 

You nodded eagerly as he climbed into bed with you in his gray, Calvin Klein boxers. “I can see why you were GQ’s Man of the Year.” You said breathlessly, still in awe of him. 

“Oh, so you’ve been looking at me before, baby?” a smirk dawned the blond’s lips as he climbed on top of you, flicking his tongue across your breasts. 

You whimpered at the feeling of him across your sensitive skin, running your nails along his back. “Show me I won’t be disappointed.” You told him. 

Luke began to softly suckle on your tits, leaving more hickeys as he trailed down from your chest to your stomach, then to the waist of your underwear. “May I?” he asked, snapping the white elastic. 

You nodded quickly, bucking your hips up to meet the boner that was growing in his boxers. “Please. Just fuck me. That’s what you wanted, right?” You asked, fluttering your lashes. 

Luke smiled, kissing your cheek softly. “You’re a fast learner, baby girl. You sure you’ve never been a fuck doll before?” the blond hooked his thumbs around your panties, slowly and teasingly smiling as he pulled them down your hips. 

You didn’t have time to respond, because Luke began to slowly rub his thumb over your clit, to which you let out a gasp. He began to speed up the rhythm, smirking as he felt your legs clench around him. You moved your hands from his back upwards, tangling them in his strawberry blond curls. Luke began to use his other hand to slowly slide in and out of you, his fingers gliding easily because of how wet you were. 

“Luke,” You moaned out, bucking your hips up closer to him. “Gonna cum soon.”

That just made the blond tease you more, glee in his blue eyes as he continued to pleasure your entire pussy. Tears were coming to your face as you held back, that white-hot feeling building up in your lower stomach. To stimulate you more, Luke began to rub his clothed dick against you slightly, enjoying the moans that fell from your lips at the friction. You were both panting and moaning until finally, Luke kissed your pubic bone. 

“Go ahead, baby,” he hummed. “Cum all over my fingers.”

You didn’t need to be told twice to do what Luke asked. You immediately clenched around his graceful fingers, whimpering as you came. Collapsing back onto the pillows, you just caught Luke sucking his fingers off, looking so sinfully beautiful. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good, Y/N,” Luke moaned, beginning to stroke his cock through his underwear. “Think you’re capable of another round?”

You nodded quickly, looking up at him. “Let me.” You said, placing your hand over his own. 

“Well, if you insist.” Luke smirked, practically ripping off his underwear. 

His dick stood tall now, throbbing as it practically begged for you to touch it. You got on your knees, looking up at the blond with a smile as you ran your tongue across his tip. You knew he would be too big to take all of him, so you slowly began to take his cock into your mouth, bobbing your head back and forth while pumping his base when you hit the back of your throat. Luke threw his head back with a moan, pushing his hips towards you. 

“Feels so good, Y/N. Oh my god…” he panted as you sucked him off. 

Luke began to grip your hair as you bobbed your head up and down. He could feel his dick twitching in your mouth, begging for him to claim you and cum all down your throat. The blue-eyed man gripped your hair, pulling you closer to him. Without warning, he released thick, white ropes of cum shooting down your throat. Luke pulled off so you could breathe easier, but he didn’t miss the slutty smirk that was decorating your face. 

“You like that?” he asked. 

You nodded eagerly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Yummy.” You giggled.

Luke kissed your forehead, caressing your naked body. “You are so, so perfect. Think you can hold up for one more? I need to be inside of you.” he said, beginning to passionately kiss you. 

You moaned against his warm, plump lips as Luke massaged your breasts while kissing you. Before you knew it, you had moved to straddle his lap, moving your hips in teasingly slow circles. Luke grunted, moving to grab your ass. 

“Gonna act like a slut, gonna get treated like one.” he hummed, thrusting his dick inside your folds. 

You moaned at the feeling of suddenly being so full, bouncing on his lap to adjust. “Oh my god…” You breathed out. “So big.”

Luke smirked at that, his ego being fueled. He pinned you down to the bed, beginning to ride you. His thrusts were fast and sloppy, but they were oh-so-powerful. You could hear that sound of his headboard hitting the wall as he railed you, and you were silently thankful that Luke had the whole floor to himself. Your silence didn’t last long though, for Luke hit your G-spot, making you cry out. 

“Gonna cum.” You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes as you tried to withstand the overstimulation. 

“You can do it, baby girl,” the blond coached you. “Hang on longer, princess.”

You wrapped your legs around Luke’s hips as he continued to pound into you. Your second orgasm was always much faster than your first, and right now was no exception. You sobbed at the feeling of needing to cum so badly, but despite how your emotions appeared, you were really loving this. You gripped the silken sheets in your hands as you writhed under him, until Luke finally kissed your tear-stained, sweaty cheek. 

“Show me how good you can cum on my cock, baby.” Luke growled in your ear. 

You immediately clenched around Luke’s dick, letting go. It was the best orgasm you had ever had, and you knew Luke could tell by the way he was smirking at you. You were still panting and riding out your high when the blond’s dick twitched inside of you and he quickly pulled out, cumming on your thighs. 

“Uh uh…” You panted, staring up at him completely fucked out. “Good pull out game.” You chuckled when you caught your breath. 

Luke smiled, kissing your cheek. “What else would you take me for, baby girl?” he hummed. 

He pulled a pack of wet wipes from his nightstand, wiping both you and himself down before he gave you another heated kiss on the lips. The blond patted your ass softly, in an almost shooing motion. “Get on out of here and get some rest,” Luke cooed. “Call me tomorrow. There should be something waiting for you on the kitchen counter.”

You hurriedly pulled on your silky dress. Your heart dropped a bit as you watched Luke toy around on his phone, that is, until he looked up at you through his lashes, telling you he ordered you a private car to take you back to your residence hall. The blond gave you one last kiss as you left the room, reminding you to check the counter. As you wandered into the kitchen, you saw a rather stuffed envelope with your name on it laying on the marble countertops. 

Your jaw dropped as you opened the package to reveal an enormous stack of cash. You quickly began to count it, speaking softly to yourself. There was over a thousand dollars in that one envelope. You shot Luke a quick thank you text, hurrying out of his home and down to the idling car for you, a smile gracing your face at the thought of your newly found sugar daddy. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Luke asked, tapping your nose. 

“Sorry,” You blushed, realizing how long you’d been zoned out for. “Just thinking about you, I guess.”

“Oh?” he asked, cocking his brow. 

“Just how much I love you.” You smiled, snuggling closer to his chest. 

“I love you,” Luke hummed, pulling you closer to him. “That night changed my life for the better.”

You smiled when you saw the softer side of Luke’s personality peeking out. You knew that below his stock market aficionado personality, Luke was still a soft, sweet little boy. You had discussed the things from his childhood before, which is why Luke had had a rather hard time staying in long-term relationships. That is, until he met you. The same effect Luke on you, you had on him. He felt that spoiling you and loving you gave him a purpose outside of work. You loved him for more than his job, status, or wealth. When you two were together, he was just Luke, and you were just Y/N. 

“I changed my mind,” You hummed as you cuddled up with Luke. “I don’t want to go get those coats now. I’d rather stay in and watch a movie.”

“Are you sure?” Luke asked, always looking for a way to spoil you. 

“I’m sure,” You nodded. “You know I’ll never turn down naked cuddles.” You winked. 

The blond chuckled, kissing your forehead. “Whatever princess wants, princess gets. Just don’t forget, we have dinner reservations tonight.”

You smiled, hugging him. “We should watch a movie.”

“Would you like to?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. 

You nodded, sitting up and wrapping your pink, silk robe around yourself.  You tugged Luke’s hand so that he would get up and do the same. Your boyfriend pulled on a pair of loose, gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips, allowing your eyes to trail from his happy trail up to his broad chest. You shook your head and grabbed Luke’s hand, tugging him to the kitchen. 

“C’mon, we gotta make coffee first.”

Luke smiled at your antics, chuckling softly. Despite the fact that you were only less than seven years apart, he felt that you kept him “young”. Having never been able to have a real childhood due to studying and watching his father’s empire grow, Luke enjoyed seeing the childlike joy spread across your face. You plugged in the espresso machine while Luke pulled two mugs down from the cabinet. You giggled when you saw the pink, Hello Kitty mug in his large hands, looking up at him softly. 

“I remember that one,” You said, standing on your tiptoes and kissing Luke’s cheek. “You bought it for the very first time I spent the night.”

“That I did,” the blond said, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you started the coffee. “For my girl.” he hummed, leaving a kiss on your neck. 

“You bought me my own mug?” You asked Luke as he pulled them down from the cabinet, filling the pink mug with coffee for you. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he chuckled, passing the cup of warm liquid to you. 

“I dunno,” You shrugged, looking out the window down on the people of New York City to avoid Luke’s eyes. “I guess I just thought we were mostly…physical.” You blushed. 

It was Sunday morning and you were sat at Luke’s kitchen island, hair messy and in a white lace nightie. It was the first time you’d ever spent the night with him, and you had been pleasantly surprised. Luke had cared for you much more than you’d expected him to, showering you with praises and even currently puttering around the kitchen, making you breakfast. You could see the smirk decorating Luke’s face at the term physical as he turned towards the toaster. 

“Shit!” he yelped, drawing you out of your thoughts. 

“Are you okay?” You asked hurriedly, coming around the island as Luke ran his hand under cold water in the sink. 

“Burnt the toast,” the blond huffed, gesturing towards the plate that was responsible for his injury. “Goddamn it.”

Sure enough, the small, white saucer held two pieces of absolutely blackened bread that was nowhere near edible. You chuckled as you scraped the “toast” into the trash, kissing Luke’s cheek. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

He nodded, wrapping his arms around you once he had dried his hands off. “Now that I’m holding you I am. What do you say we go out for breakfast, yeah? I know a wonderful Colombian place that we can have privately.”

You smiled, looking into Luke’s blue eyes and then down at your nightie. “I would love to, but uh, I don’t have ‘proper’ clothes to wear.”

Your clothes from last night were covered in a…variety of substances, and you didn’t deem them appropriate for going out anywhere, but especially not to a high-class restaurant with a billionaire. Luke didn’t seem to mind though, he just took your hand and drug you to his closet, throwing the doors open. Everything was organized in an absolutely immaculate way; pressed shirts hung just right, pants folded perfectly in Ikea dressers, shoes stacked neatly on shelves, and a rotating belt hanger. Before you knew it, Luke had rummaged together an outfit for you, consisting of a white button-down that would be a stylish shirt dress on you, a New York Yankees baseball cap, and some gold jewelry. 

“How many times have you done this before?” You asked somewhat seriously as you began to dress. 

“What? Take care of a woman? Plenty.” he grumbled. 

You blushed under the lustful glare in his eyes, knowing you were working him up and loving it. “I was kidding, you know.”

“I know. I just think it’s cute how you pretend to be so big and bad like you weren’t screaming my name last night, baby doll. By the way, keep the shirt.” Luke flashed you a smile that was much whiter than the average person’s was, but your tummy flared with butterflies nonetheless. 

You nodded, breathing in the scent of Hugo Boss Bottled again as you finished dressing. You had no plans of getting rid of anything he gave you. You were so attached to him that you knew it was stupid, but Luke was just so captivating. You understood now why women had been fawning over the blond for years. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asked. 

You nodded once more, and Luke took your hand, leading you down to his car. Today he had decided on driving the Range Rover, and once you were both seated comfortably (and he had made a call to arrange private dining at the restaurant), he began to speak. “You know just because you’re a sugar baby doesn’t mean I don’t value you, right?”

You looked across the console at Luke as he pulled out into the busy streets of New York City, admiring the sharp curve of his jaw and the slope of his nose as his sunglasses cast shadows onto his face. “Go on.”

“I just…I feel a connection to you, Y/N. I enjoy having you in my life, baby girl,” Luke paused for a moment, gripping the steering wheel before speaking again. “You make me feel good. Better than I have in years, actually. Both mentally and emotionally.” he looked over the bridge of his sunglasses to make sure you were listening. 

You blushed, your cheeks flaming under the brim of the baseball hat. “That’s very kind, Luke. Thank you.” You reached across the console to where his right hand rested, pressing yours on top of his own larger, ring-clad one. 

“And I have this promise to you that I want to keep. I want to make this work.” he spoke as he pulled up beside a restaurant, watching as a valet came hurrying out. 

“I think we can, Luke. I think we can.” You said, leaning over the console and pressing a passionate kiss to his plump, pink lips. 

You were absolutely ready to let go of the fears and ghosts you had and just be. Luke made you feel different. He gratified you physically, emotionally, and mentally, and that was exactly what you needed.

“Hello, earth to Y/N. You zoned out again. Coffee’s done.” Luke hummed, tapping your shoulder. 

“Sorry,” You said, ears turning pink. “I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot lately.”

“About…?” Luke questioned, taking his mug and padding to the living room. 

“I dunno. Us? How we got here?”

Luke smiled as you sat down beside him, throwing an arm around you. “We got here because I couldn’t resist the body in that pretty emerald dress and then learned about the woman wearing it.” he chuckled, flicking on the TV. 

It hadn’t meant to be sexy, but you still blushed, hiding your face in his chest. “I know, it’s just…it’s hard to believe we’re in a long-term relationship when we started with the whole sugar baby thing.”

“Well, life is surprising that way,” Luke shrugged, navigating to the rom-coms section. “All I care about is the fact that I have my beautiful girl now. Mwah!” he said, planting an exaggerated kiss on your forehead as a movie began to play. 

As you two fell deeper into the plot of the meet-cute characters, you couldn’t help but to notice the silence between you and your lover. It wasn’t uncomfortable, not in the slightest, but it was almost like you could hear something in it, telling you how much you truly loved Luke. As surprising as it may have been to others, you knew the blond was your forever man. You were in love, true love at that. 

Before you knew it, the movie had ended and Luke was picking you up off the couch and throwing you over his strong shoulder. “Time to get ready for dinner.”

You giggled, wiggling in his arms. “Put me down!”

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I have something for you.”

Luke led you into your master suite, setting you down on the bed. You watched curiously as he went into the closet and then returned with a dress bag and a shoe box. You blushed and giggled as you saw the designer logos that were plastered on both. No matter how long you were with Luke, you would probably never get used to such spoiling. 

“What’s this?”

“Oh, just something for you to wear this evening,” he hummed. “I’m gonna go get ready.” Luke left a kiss on your cheek before grabbing the suit he’d laid out on the dresser and puttering to the bathroom. 

You slowly pulled the plastic back from the garment to reveal a beautiful, flowy red dress. You practically gasped in awe at the rich material, quickly sliding it over your head and marveling in the body mirror over how the dress hugged you perfectly, accenting your body in all the right places. 

“Wow,” Luke said breathlessly when he re-entered the bedroom. “You look amazing, my love.”

You blushed under his gaze, looking up at him. “Thank you. I was thinking of wearing red lipstick. Both because it matches the dress…and because it looks good on your face.”

Luke smirked, leaving kisses down your neck. “Please do.”

As you did your makeup and finished getting ready, you let your mind wander. Putting on your mascara is when the thought hit you. Would Luke propose tonight? You shook your head with a small laugh, thinking about how ridiculous the thought actually was. He would give you more of a heads up than that. You knew that Luke would propose one day, but it probably wouldn’t be on a random date night. 

“You ready, darling?” he asked, checking his watch as the Rolex logo glinted in the light of your vanity. 

“Mhm,” You nodded with a smile, standing up and taking his hand. “Always.”

“I booked us a driver for tonight,” Luke informed you as you two left the apartment. “That way it can be all about us.”

You smiled, snuggling closer to his arm. “That sounds perfect. Where are we headed?” You asked as you stepped into the sleek, black car with Luke. 

“You’ll see-” he smiled softly. 

You cut Luke’s sentence off by kissing his lips softly. Sometimes, you just couldn’t believe your boyfriend was real and had to kiss him, just to make sure. Your lover looked so much like a prince right now it was almost illegal. His navy blue suit complimented his blue eyes perfectly, and his light blond curls fell to his shoulder just right. In short, Luke looked absolutely dashing. 

“Hey, this area is familiar. There’s the hotel.” You smiled, nudging Luke’s shoulder. 

Sure enough, the car had stopped outside of the hotel you and Luke had met in so long ago, to which Luke smiled at you. “We have a quick errand before dinner. C’mon.” he smirked. 

The driver opened the door of the backseat for you and Luke, allowing you to step out onto the sidewalk in the chilly, New York City air. The sun hadn’t quite gone down yet, but it was enough to be cool and you pulled your jacket tighter around yourself. Luke took your hand, smiling softly and led you up the stairs and into the warmth of the lobby. 

“What are we doing here?” You asked as he led you towards that all-too-familiar ballroom. 

“I just thought we’d stop by. It is almost Christmas, after all,” he said, nodding towards the large tree in the corner of the ballroom. “What better time to do some reminiscing?”

You blushed softly as Luke led you to the center of the grand ballroom, underneath the luxurious, diamond chandelier. “Would you like to dance, Y/N?”

You nodded softly, trying to hide your embarrassed giggles as Luke played a waltz on his phone and began to spin you around. It was quiet here, allowing you to focus on nothing but Luke. Even though you had known for so long now, you realized just how in love you were with Luke. Looking into his eyes must’ve been what true love from all those princess stories felt like. All that mattered was that you had him and he had you. As the song came to an end, Luke brought you in close and kissed you softly, taking great care not to ruin your lipstick. You had thought that you two were done, that is, until Luke pulled back and got down on one knee, making your heart stop. 

“Y/N L/N, I love you more than anything ever. I have since the day I met you. You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars. You have given me a reason to live. Will you marry me, Y/N?” Luke asked, a soft, crooked smile on his face as he opened the ring. 

“Yes!” You squealed, throwing your arms around his neck. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Luke picked you up and spun you around as a photographer stepped out from behind the tree, snapping photos. You couldn’t believe this was your life, especially when Luke slid the enormous diamond onto your finger, kissing your knuckles softly. You were so overwhelmed with love and tears that you hardly heard Luke speak to you. 

“We have one more place to go.” he whispered. “Shall we?” the blond led you to the car once again, but you stopped your lover, tugging on his arm. 

“It’s snowing!” You smiled, craning your neck up to gaze as the flurries fell on and around you. 

Luke took your hand, spinning you around in a soft dance. The light glinted off his eyes and brilliant white smile perfectly, making your new fiancé look like a real life angel. It was almost like you two were in a snowglobe, dancing round and round until you finally pulled each other into a deep kiss, ignoring the “awe”’s and snapping of photos by passing strangers. Luke quickly helped you into the car, directing the driver towards his office on Wall Street. 

“I know your job is demanding, hun, but do we really have to go into your work after we just got engaged?” You pouted and nudged the blond, knowing the effect it had on him. 

“Shhhh,” Luke hushed you with a kiss on the head. “We’re not going for work; I want to show you something.”

It wasn’t long until you had arrived at the large skyscraper and were in the ornate elevator, looking through the large, glass windows as you rose higher and higher above New York City. It was hard to believe Luke actually worked here, but you recalled the one night you had seen his checking account balance when he had left his laptop open, and it suddenly didn’t seem as crazy. Even though it was a Saturday evening, people bustled around the office shouting numbers and hurrying after their bosses. 

Luckily, Luke had a quiet, private office to which he threw the door open. “Ta-da.” he hummed softly. 

“You came here to show me your office?” You giggled. 

The blond shook his head, leading you over to the large, black desk. When you saw what he was referencing, you could’ve cried. There were several framed photos of you, all smiley and joyous that Luke had taken himself. Even on his desktop wallpaper was a photo of you when you two had gone to Turks and Caicos over the summer, plus a sticky note stuck to the monitor that said “Book Y/N’s Grad Trip”. 

You threw your arms around Luke’s neck as tears pricked your eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby girl,” he hummed, holding your ass in both hands and peppering your face with kisses. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I should be the one asking that question. I really understand now.”

“Understand what?” Luke asked, softly setting you down. 

“Why they lost their minds and fought the wars. Why people in romance novels are willing to give up everything for their lover.”

As you spoke, you could see tears brimming on Luke’s lower lash line. In all your time together, you had never seen the blond cry. You wrapped your arms around his waist, laying your head against his tall, broad shoulder. 

“We’re not going to dinner now.” Luke chuckled and sniffled, wiping his eyes with his thumb. 

“Why?” You asked curiously. 

“Because I want to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore, princess,” he smirked huskily. “I know the ring on your finger says it, but I wanna make you mine.”

“Well, if you do insist.” You giggled. 

Luke picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the office, not caring who was looking. They wouldn’t say anything to him anyway. And in that moment, you realized that you were in love.