#i'm not seeing my dad in a 'child of divorce' way

[snowjanuscentral]

apparently there's snowjanus week on twitter?

i might use the prompts but expect it all to be uploaded late it literally coincides with christmas and i'm seeing my dad

[atomicniire]

One year I desperately wanted to be a dead bride for Halloween. My mom refused because it was too creepy (that's the entire point of Halloween)

[graysongraysoff]

the angel on my shoulder telling me to use the credit reward i just got from my travel credit card to go home for mother's day vs the devil on my shoulder telling me to squirrel it away and put it toward something for myself

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Bangchan x F!Reader TW : Chans daughter is not readers child ; Chans ex wife and daughter are shit starters ; drama of course ; angsty ; honestly, poor Chan ; fluffy ending though ; slightly suggestive at the end as well ; Word Count : 6.5k Request : Anonny : Please write an angsty / fluffy fic about Dad!chan who, after years of not dating, finally decides to get back into dating & when he finally finds someone he doesn't tell reader he has a teenage daughter because he doesn't know how reader would feel about it but when reader finds out they're really upset and avoid him and his daughter reaches out to reader and convinces reader to talk to Chan and make up because she hates seeing her dad upset. A/N : This request is so cute and I'm so happy I get to write it. Of course, it will be super drama because I love when it happens, and with Chans recent bbl messages we know this man loves this kind of shit, so... This is for Chan and Chan stans and we love Chan!

“I got a call from your teacher today, Ella.” Chan said as his daughter walked through the front door. “They said your grades haven’t been the best lately, that you haven’t been focusing in class. Is something wrong? Do you have something going on?” He didn’t want to be the kind of father that always got on his child when their grades were below average, but he also didn’t want his daughter to flunk out. He wanted to see her be successful and happy in life, that’s all he ever wanted. 

“I’ve just been going through some stuff, dad.” Ella mumbled as she kicked her shoes into the corner near the front door and dropped her bags onto the floor. “Mom said she’s been trying to get in touch with you lately. I guess she saw that you’ve been posting about going out on your facebook.” She pulled out the chair across the table from Chan. “Why don’t I get to meet your new girlfriend?” 

Chan rolled his eyes, finally looking up from his phone to look at his daughter. “You’re changing the subject. What I do in my spare time isn’t important. Your grades are. So tell me, what kind of stuff have you been going through that’s been keeping you from being able to focus. Maybe I can help.” 

She huffed loudly, the attitude that he was warned would come along with a teenage daughter was in full force now. “It’s not even important anyway… Don’t you have a date to go on tonight? That’s all you ever talk about anymore. It’s like you don’t even care that mom left…” It was finally making sense to him, but it hurt that she felt that way. He had been kind enough to keep his ex wife’s dirty secrets just that, a secret, so that Ellas view of her mother wouldn’t be warped. He was trying to do the right thing, but it was becoming harder and harder. 

“I do care that your mother left… I was hurt by it for a long time, El. It’s been 8 years, and I think that it’s time that I’ve finally moved on because she isn’t coming back. Your mother has gotten remarried, divorced, and married again in those 8 years and I haven’t been with anyone until just a few months ago. I don’t think you’re being very fair right now.” He tried to explain, but he could tell, he could just see it in her face that she wasn’t ready to hear about it. “And, just so you know, I don’t have a date to go on tonight. I was planning on being here to help you with your homework and studying so that I don’t get another call like I had today.” 

///

“Had a late night in the studio, huh?” You said as you walked up behind Chan, your arms draping over his shoulders as he sat in front of his computer in his office. You could tell he was tired, he could barely sit up straight and his eyes wouldn’t stay open for longer than a few seconds. “It’s okay to take a break, bubs. It’s 3racha, not ChrisRacha.” 

He snickered at the little name, finally swiveling his chair around to face you and pulling you down onto his lap. “You sound like everyone else. I don’t like taking breaks, it gives me too much time to think about the time that I’m wasting.” He explained, his voice was groggy and not even laced, but completely filled with exhaustion. “I’ll be fine once I go over your place tonight, we can cuddle up and watch a movie.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his hot breath against your skin sending a wave of goosebumps all over. 

“They’re repainting all of the apartments, I can’t even go into my own house right now. I’ve been staying with my parents.” You reminded him, although you were sure you had texted him about it and told him about it in the days leading up to the renovation. “We can go over to your place. We’ve been dating for 4 months now and you haven’t even invited me over.” 

There was a reason for that, a reason that you didn’t know of, but he felt it was just better if you didn’t find out. The last thing he wanted was for you to run off because he had a daughter, not just any daughter though, a teenage daughter who was still hung up on the divorce of her parents. She wasn’t the easiest to get along with, and although Chan had tried to butter her up to the prospect of one day meeting you, she didn’t take too kindly to the fact that he was dating again. “My place is a mess…” He lied, trying to muffle his words in the fabric of your shirt so you wouldn’t pick up on it. “We can go to a hotel if you’d like.” 

“That seems sleezy…” You mumbled, and he felt awful, he truly did. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He absolutely loves his daughter with every ounce of his heart, his entire being, he loved being her father. He loved you too though, you had been the light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel. He didn’t want to have to choose between the two of you, it just didn’t seem fair. “I guess we’ll just wait for my apartment to be ready…” He could feel you trying to pull away, he could tell that you were upset, he didn’t want you to leave like that, so he tightened his arms around you, holding you close to him. 

“You’re not sleezy! I’m sorry I even recommended that, you’re better than that.” He quickly tried to get himself out of the hole that he had dug, it felt like he was clawing his way to the top, and everytime he got halfway out, he’d slip and he’d fall right back to the bottom. “I’ll clean my place, I just want it to be perfect for when you come over. Okay? You deserve the best.” 

The tension slowly left your body, he felt you soften up against him, and for a moment, it felt like he could breathe again. “Okay… Fine. I’ll wait… I just really miss sleeping next to you.” You whispered, and those words made his stomach feel warm and fuzzy. He missed sleeping next to you too. “I have to get back to work though… I’ll see you later. Try taking a break though, take a nap or something, that’s what the couch is for.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting up, his arms reluctantly loosening around you until you were free to go. “Seriously, get some sleep.” 

///

“Where are you going?” Ella asked from the couch, watching Chan storm to the front door and yank his coat off the hook. “Did you and your girlfriend get into a little fight? Do you have to go kiss and make up now?” The mocking tone in her voice would usually only slightly irritate him, but he was already beyond irritated at the reason he had to leave in the first place. 

“No, it’s your damn mother.” He snapped, pulling his shoes on before grabbing his keys. “I don’t know how long she’ll hold me up, there’s food in the freezer, or you can grab my wallet out of my bag and order yourself something. Try to do some studying while I’m gone, please?” And without another word he was out the front door, slamming it behind him. 

What Chan didn’t know was that he had left his wallet at work on his studio desk, and you had gone into his studio before leaving to see if he was there but only found his wallet. He must have left the building without saying anything to you, and you wondered if maybe he was sick or something had happened back at his place. You were doing the right thing, at least that’s what you felt you were doing. You were just going to take his wallet home to him and check up on him. You didn’t mind that his house might be a little dirty, you completely understood that he was busy, you didn’t expect his house to be immaculate. 

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous to stand in front of his front door, but a chill ran through your body and you had to take a few breaths before even lifting your hand to knock. Once you did, you took a step back, listening to the locks being undone before the door opened. It wasn’t who you expected to see, it wasn’t Chan, it was a girl, she looked younger, at least 15 or 16. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have read the address wrong.” You quickly apologized, bowing your head to the girl before turning away. 

“Who are you looking for?” The girl asked, and what you weren’t aware of was that she had seen Chans wallet in your hand, she knew that you had come to the right address, she was just playing a game that you didn’t know about. You quickly said his name, and she let out a soft hum. “He’s out right now. It’s date night for him and my mom.” You felt your stomach sink, deeper and deeper until it couldn’t go any further. “Is that his wallet? Thank you so much for bringing it, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you brought it back. Hopefully he’ll answer his phone so he can pick it up and pay the bill, you know?” 

You nodded slowly, the bile from your stomach rising into your throat. “Y-Yeah… Of course… H-Here you go.” You stammered, your hand shaking as you handed the wallet over to the girl. You knew she wasn’t lying, she looked so much like Chan it was uncanny. Why hadn’t he told you? What was he even doing with you? He had a wife, or at least a girlfriend or fiancee… He had a child… But he was going around with you? It was beginning to add up though… Why he always wanted to go over your house. Why he’d rather go to a hotel than to bring you to his own place. You felt absolutely sick. 

“Have a good night!” The girl chimed cheerfully as you made your way back to your car, the light from inside the house that had illuminated the front yard faded until you were covered in darkness. You were devastated, you were heartbroken… You had never felt more humiliated in your life and all you wanted to do was go crawl underneath a rock and hide there. 

///

The meeting with his ex wife the night before had stressed Chan out beyond belief. He couldn’t believe that after 8 years she wanted to fight for custody of Ella now. Her reasoning behind it would have been laughable if they hadn’t been so damn ridiculous. By the time he had gotten home though, Ella was already in bed and he was so tired from dealing with his ex that he had gone right to bed as well. By morning, Ella had already left for school, so he’d have to wait until he got off work and she got home from school to even talk to her about what her mother had said. 

Now, he was only looking forward to seeing you. You were the only person at this point who could calm him down and bring him some semblance of peace, at least for the short amount of time that he got to be with you. “Hey, lovely.” He called to you when he caught you walking down the hall. Usually you’d smile and wave, you’d even run over to him sometimes if the hall was empty. This time you just shook your head before lowering it and walking right by him. 

It was a shock to say the least, and his mind immediately jumped to the worst, although he couldn’t be 100% sure of what had happened that would cause you to be acting like this. Was it because of the hotel comment the day before? Was it because he wouldn’t let you come over to his house? It couldn’t be that though, he had talked to you about it. It had to be something more, but he couldn’t figure it out. You looked absolutely pissed, like you didn’t want anything to do with him. 

“Y/N!” He called out your name now, jogging down the hall to catch up with you, but you didn’t even look up at him, and you sure as hell didn’t slow down. In fact, it seemed like you sped up, like you were trying to get away from him. “Hey… What… What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” He lowered his voice but quickened his steps to keep up with you, trying to duck down just enough to get a view of your face, but every time he got close enough you’d look away. 

“I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you. Whatever it was that you made me think we had, it’s over. I’d like it if you left me alone now.” You stated flatly, your arms tightening around the multitude of folders that you clutched to your chest. “I’m changing groups, I won’t be one of your staff anymore as well, so please, don’t bother me anymore.” 

Something had happened, and it wasn’t something that could easily be fixed like Chan thought. It was worse, way worse. You had basically fired yourself from being his group's staff because of whatever happened. “Hold on!” His fingers wrapped around your upper arm, stopping you from going any further. “So you’re just… Breaking up with me? You’re not even going to tell me why!?” His voice cracked as it rose in pitch, his chest rising and falling heavily as the panic fully set in. “I fucking love you, Y/N… You can’t just do this to me and not tell me why.” 

When you finally looked up, he could see your eyes were glistening, your bottom lashes bedazzled with twinkling tears that clung onto them. You were just as upset as he was. “Stop pretending, Christopher!” You croaked out, sniffling loudly once the words left your chapped lips. “I refuse to be the rebound chick that you think you can run to when your marriage is on the rocks. I won’t be strung along by you, not anymore.” You took a few deep, shaky breaths to compose yourself before you pulled your arm free of Chans hold. “Now, if you don’t mind… I have another group to meet. I have work to do. I do believe that you have some work to do as well.” You bowed your head to him before turning and walking away, leaving him more confused than he was before. 

His marriage… It had fallen apart years ago when he had come home to find his wife in bed with another man while his daughter was fast asleep in the room across the hall. It had been disgusting, heartbreaking, it would have been his downfall if not for his daughter and the moral, mental, and emotional support of the guys. He wasn’t sure why it was being brought up, he didn’t even know how you had found out, but that same feeling of devastation that he had felt 8 years ago was flooding him once again. 

The guys… They were the only ones who would be able to talk to you, they were the only ones who knew about the secret past that Chan was trying so hard to hide from you. Would they do something like that though? Would they hurt him like that? “Yo! What’s up?” Changbin said as he came up behind Chan, his arm draping over his shoulder. “You’re… crying? What happened?” The cheerful tone was immediately dropped, and even though Changbin was younger, he was in full protection mode. 

“Y/N… She… She broke up with me…. She knows about Sana…” He gasped out the words, each of them getting caught in his throat, it felt like he was choking. “Somebody told her… Someone… They had to have told her! Who!?” He was shouting now, his sadness turning to anger in a matter of seconds. The look of confusion of Changbins face was enough for Chan to know that he had no idea what Chan was talking about, and that in itself proved his innocence. That left 6 more guys to question. 

“Y-You know that none of us would do that to you… Why would we do that? You were happy!” Changbin quickly defended the others as well, seeing in Chans eyes that he was on the warpath and he wasn’t going to stop until he found out who had told you. “I… I do know she went to the studio last night after you left… She… She said something about your wallet but… Maybe she went to your house to drop it off and… and…-” 

“Ella…” Chan muttered out the name, a loud groan leaving him as his head fell back. “I have to go… Will you be okay? Can you run practice for me?” Now he was in a hurry, a hurry to get home, to talk to you… He had so many things he had to do, he didn’t even know where to begin. Changbin nodded his head, patting Chans shoulder before taking a step back. Truthfully, Chan didn’t know what the hell he was going to do… But he knew he had to do something. He wasn’t going to lose you… He couldn’t. 

///

“Sit. Now.” Chan said, not even giving his daughter time to fully come through the door before the words left his mouth. He had been sitting at the table, thinking over and over about how he’d go about bringing it up to her, but now that she was finally home, all of his thoughts had gone out the window and all he could feel was irritation. She rolled her eyes, dropping off her bag and kicking her shoes off like she did every day, heading in the direction of her bedroom. “Did you not hear me? I want to talk to you.” 

“About what?” She snapped, whipping around to face him. “About the lady that showed up on our front porch last night?” Chans eyes widened, he didn’t even have to drag it out of her, she wasn’t a liar… and for that, he was proud, he had at least taught her one good thing. “Did she dump you? Well good… You don’t deserve to be happy. Not after what you did to mom…” After… what he did…? He was stunned into silence, his head cocked to the side as he tried to think about what he could have possibly done to make him the bad guy in all of this. “She told me all about it, don’t try to act like you’re so innocent.” 

Those weren’t Ellas words, those were her mothers words and she was speaking them for her. “I tried so hard to protect your mother for some reason… So that you wouldn’t think badly of her… And this is what she does.” He mumbled, running his hand through his hair and sighing heavily. “Can you please sit? I really need to talk to you…” He stretched his legs under the table, pushing out the chair across from him and motioning to it with his head. He could see the reluctance, but she finally made her way over, dropping down into the chair, but not without an eye roll and a look of disgust. “I didn’t want to tell you the truth… I didn’t want you to see your mother as anything less than what she is… But I wasn’t the one who did anything. Your mother is the reason we’re divorced…” 

“You’re a liar… She said that you’d lie…” Ella mumbled, her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at her father. “Just like you lied to that lady. She didn’t even know I existed! You kept me a secret from her… Why? Are you embarrassed of me? Are you ashamed of me?” The sulky teenage attitude subsided, and he could see that she wasn’t just angry, she was upset. He never meant for it to be like this, he didn’t even think that something like this would happen. It’s not like he planned on keeping his daughter hidden forever… He just didn’t want to spring it all on you at the beginning of the relationship. 

“No! God, no… El… You are an amazing daughter, you’re smart and you’re funny… You’re the most wonderful thing I’ve ever created. I’m so proud of you…” He whispered, and he could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. He should have told her these things a long time ago, maybe she wouldn’t be acting out, but it was too late, and now all he could do was try to fix things piece by piece. “I didn’t want to bring someone into your life unless I knew that it was serious… It’s one thing for me to be hurt… But I didn’t want you to potentially get close to her just for her to leave and hurt you too.” He swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath to prepare himself before continuing. “I divorced your mother… Because she cheated on me, Ella. Do you really think I would have gotten custody of you if it were the other way around? The man she married… That’s… That’s the guy… And they’re already divorced… And she’s already married again. She’s been married twice since the divorce, and I… I haven’t been with anyone until a couple months ago. Do you think that would be the case if I was the one who had screwed up?” He could see the gears turning in her mind as she thought about everything that he was saying, and he could see that it was all adding up. “Your mother wanted to meet up with me yesterday because she’s trying to get custody of you…” 

Ellas eyes widened and her head shook fast. “No… I don’t… I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to live with her, dad.” The words were rushed out, full fledged panic written across her features. “Don’t let her take me… I want to stay with you… I’m sorry… I’m sorry I told the lady that you were having date night with mom. I’m sorry that I ruined it… I’m sorry… Please don’t let her take me.” She was crying now, absolutely bawling, and it broke his heart to see his daughter so upset. 

He jumped out of his chair, running around to her side of the table and pulling her up into his arms. Right now, she wasn’t just a teenager with a bit of an attitude problem… She was his little girl, and he was going to protect her and he was going to keep her safe. He was going to fix everything, no matter what it took. “She’s not going to get you, she won’t win. You’re staying here with me… I promise.” 

///

“Have you gotten a hold of her?” Ella asked, dropping down onto the couch beside her father. It had been weeks since the last time he had spoken to you, but he had seen you in the halls at the building every single day. No matter how many times he tried to stop you and explain everything, you’d just keep walking like you didn’t know him at all. Ella could see that it was breaking him, and she knew that it was her fault. “I’m really sorry, dad…” She mumbled. 

Your picture was still his lockscreen, and every time a notification would pop up on his phone he would jump up, a single second of excitement and wishful thinking, only to be let down once he realized it was someone, anyone but you. “It’s okay… I’m gonna try to get some work done. Let me know when you get hungry, I’ll make us some dinner, yeah?” And she nodded slowly, waiting for Chan to get up and go into his little office before running to the front door and pulling on her shoes. If he wasn’t able to fix it, maybe she could. 

The walk to the building wasn’t too far, and she knew that, for the most part, whenever her father went into his office it was so he could cry in private. That usually lasted a couple hours, and she was sure that she wouldn’t need too much time. 

Everyone in the building knew her, they had heard so much about Chans daughter that she was looked at as an idol herself. They all welcomed her warmly, but she was on a mission. “Hi! Would you happen to know where an Y/L/N Y/N is? My dad sent me to make sure she got something.” She came up with it quickly, and no one seemed to question it either. They gave her the information just as fast and sent her on her way… It was far too easy… She’d have to talk to her dad about that. 

The ride up the elevator gave her enough time to think about what she would say, or at least a little bit of what she’d say. Truth be told, she was nervous. She wanted things to go well for her fathers sake, but she knew that the trouble she had caused and what she did could have irreversible damage. 

When the doors slid open, it was like fate had brought her here at this exact moment, because you were standing right outside the doors. “Oh… Uhm… I-I remember you…” You murmured, bowing your head to her before taking a step back. “I think you’re on the wrong floor though… Your father is a couple floors down.” 

Ella shook her head, stepping out of the elevator, trying to look like she wasn’t a nervous wreck standing in front of you. “I’m here to talk to you.” She said, her head held high just to exemplify the false feeling of confidence that she was trying to give off. “Are you busy?” 

“I’m very sorry if me being with your father created any problems. I’m not with him anymore though… And, with all due respect… I’m just trying to move on.” 

“That’s the problem though!” Ella blurted out as you moved past her and stepped into the elevator, turning around quickly on her heel to face you, her hand pressed against the elevator door to keep it from closing. “Him and my mother aren’t together… They haven’t been together for 8 years. I… I was upset because… I didn’t understand what happened… I didn’t know why my parents weren’t together and… My mom lied and… And I’m sorry. My dad really loves you… And he wanted me to meet you… And he’s been crying every night because I ruined your relationship because I lied just like my mom and I’m… I’m really sorry, ma’am…” 

She was once again crying, and you didn’t really know what to do, but it felt wrong to just stand there and watch her cry, so you hesitantly stepped out of the elevator and gave her the most awkward one armed hug. “It’s… It’s okay…” You murmured, and much to your surprise, she turned her body completely toward you and wrapped her arms around you. Whether there was a maternal bone in your body at all before this moment or not, you immediately felt the urge to comfort her, to make sure she was okay, to wipe her tears and tell her that everything would be fine. “Hey… Hey, let’s go to my office. We can get a drink and some tissues and then… I’ll take you home. Is that okay?” 

Ella nodded slowly, her face scrunched up and her bottom lip pushed out. She really did look like her father. “Will you talk to him?” She asked weakly, and as much as you hated him… Now that you knew the truth… It felt like the right thing to do, so you hummed in agreement to her question, leading her down the hall to your little office and pushing the door open for her. “Y-You know… You’re still his main picture on his phone. He’s waiting for you to text him or call him or something… He misses you so much.” 

You were sure that she didn’t mean to tell you so much, and you were very sure that Chan would be incredibly embarrassed if he found out that his daughter was telling you so much. “I’ll talk to him, I promise… Pinky promise.” You held out your hand, your pinky extended to her, and she quickly latched her finger around yours, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips. 

“You are really pretty… He wasn’t lying… And you’re really nice too. I would be really mad at me if I were you…” She lowered her head, her entire body slouching forward as she sat in the chair across your desk. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” Her voice was below a whisper, her question genuine, and you didn’t really know how to answer it. 

“Well…” You began, your fingers drumming against your lap as you leaned back in your chair. “I don’t blame you for what you did… You’re a child and… And your parents divorced. I’m sure that any child would be upset if they found out either of their parents was dating someone else, especially if the kid doesn’t understand why their parents divorced in the first place. You were protected from the truth… But it made you do something that you regret. It’s still not your fault though, it’s no one's fault.” You reached across your desk, your hand faced up for her, and she slowly placed her hand in yours, the smile from earlier returning to her face, but this time it was just a little bigger and it reached her eyes. “Let’s go see your dad, yeah?” 

///

Chan had at some point cried himself to sleep while sitting in front of his computer, but the sound of a soft knock on the door had him jolting awake. “Dad?” Ellas voice came between the small crack in the door as she peeked inside, and he quickly wiped the sleep from his eyes as he got up from his chair, almost bringing his entire laptop with him since he forgot to take the headphones off. “I ordered dinner for us… It’s here.” She said between little giggles at the way he stumbled. It was nice to hear her laugh, he hadn’t heard it in a bit, not from anyone in the house. He wondered what had changed. 

“You didn’t have to do that, I would have cooked for us…” He said somberly, but he knew that she was doing it as a favor for him. He was a wreck, it was visibly noticeable that he hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep in the past two weeks, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. He was a shell of the man that he once was when he had you, but he knew he had to get better, he wasn’t sure how he would do that, but it wasn’t fair to Ella to constantly be like this, it would only make her feel more guilty. “I’ll be right out… Thank you.” He said when she hovered in the doorway, and he watched her walk away. There was a bounce in her step, she hadn’t been this peppy in a while. He was genuinely curious and now he was rushing out of the little studio room so that he’d be able to sit down and talk to her, maybe he could find out what was going on. 

“I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend over.” She said from the kitchen. He was adamant that he had never heard her bring up a friend, especially not one that would come over and visit. Was it a boy? She never mentioned liking anyone at school… Was she too scared to talk to him about those kinds of things? He made a mental note to sit down and talk to her about it one day this week. “Are you coming?” She called out and he hummed in agreement, trudging out of the little room with his head hung just a little. 

This wasn’t the first impression that he wanted one of his daughter's friends to have of him as her father. He wanted to look more respectable for the sake of Ellas reputation. It seemed like he didn’t really have a choice though, she was rushing him to come out, and he didn’t want to keep her and whoever she had over waiting. “I apologize, I wasn’t really told that you’d be coming over.” Chan began as he walked down the hall, and he completely froze when he saw just who his daughter had brought over. 

“I don’t think anyone really knew I was coming over.” You said lightly, the warmest smile spreading across your face as you looked at him. He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t find words, all he could manage to do was open his mouth and croak out sounds as salty tears pricked his eyes. “Is it… okay… that I’m here?” You asked when the silence lasted longer than you thought it would, and he nodded his head fervently, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“It’s… It’s more than okay… I just… I don’t know why… I don’t mind it though.” He rambled, looking between you and Ella who was currently setting the table for three people instead of the usual two. “You’re… staying for dinner?” He questioned, and you gave him that adorable, heart stopping smile that had stopped him in the halls of the building all of those months ago, the smile that had pushed him over the edge and made him fall for you in the beginning. 

“Yes she is.” Ella spoke up, clapping her hands together to get both of your attention. “Do you want me to eat in my room… So the two of you can talk? I’m sure you have a lot to talk about… I can leave you alone if you’d like.” But you shook your head, walking over to the table and playfully ruffling her hair before opening the takeout bag and pulling out the contents. 

“I’d like it a whole lot if you stayed and ate with us… But if you want to eat in your room… If your dad says it’s okay… Then you can.” You sounded so… sweet, the way a mother would talk to her own daughter, and the craziest part was that Ella smiled at you before taking a seat at the table, she actually listened to you… There was no attitude that came alone with it. “Are you just going to stand there and look at the food, or are you going to join us in eating it?” You asked, bringing Chan out of his own thoughts and back into the room. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m coming…” Chan whispered, walking into the dining room and taking his usual seat, but the aura at the table was a lot different now. It’s like the whole room had gotten 10 times brighter, and no matter which way he looked he was met with a warm smile. He had so many questions, but he knew that he had all the time in the world to ask them, and regardless of the answer… He knew that things would be better now, all of the pieces were falling back into place, and the picture was more beautiful than he had ever imagined it to be. 

~6 Months Later~

“You’re gonna absolutely crush this test, I know you will.” You stood at the stove, preparing breakfast as Ella sat at the table, her face buried in her text book to get as much last minute studying in before she had to go to school. “No matter what, I want you to remember that your dad and I are so proud of you and how hard you work. Okay? We love you.” Ella hummed softly, not even looking up from her book, but you could see that she was smiling, and that was enough of a response for you to know that she had heard you, that she was listening. You carefully placed her plate down beside her, lightly tapping the table to get her attention. “Please eat. Okay?” 

Chan ran out of the bedroom, his eyes barely even opened, his shirt wrinkled and twisted and his hair sticking up in all different directions. “Did she leave yet?!” He asked rather loudly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and blinking a few times before focusing in on his daughter who was looking up at him, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. I wanted to give you a hug before you left.” He pouted, and she quickly got up out of her chair, rushing over to Chan and wrapping her arms around him. “You’ll do great. I-” 

“No more speeches! You guys are going to make me cry!” Ella dramatically whined, pulling away from Chan and running back to the table to pack her things into her bag and then shoveling as much food into her mouth as she could before going to the front door. “Love you! I’ll see you later!” She mumbled with her mouth full of food, and before the two of you could say it back she was out the door. 

Once the door was shut, Chan walked over to you, his arms wrapping around your from behind as he rested his chin against your shoulder. “Hey…” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek that was dampened by tears that you hadn’t even realized had begun to fall. “What’s wrong, lovey?” He cooed, gently turning you around to face him, his head cocked to the side. 

“I don’t know… I just… I’ve only been here for six months and… We’ve gotten so close and… She’ll be going off to college soon if that’s what she wants to do… But… I’m gonna miss her and the house is gonna be so empty and…” You pouted up at Chan who couldn’t help but find it adorable the way you were right now. It was the most heartwarming thing, to know that you loved his daughter so much already that you were crying at the thought of her leaving. 

“Well… We have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours… We could watch a movie or something to take your mind off of being sad… Or… We could go have some fun… Surprise Ella with a brother or a sister when she comes home from college…” Your eyes widened at the suggestion, but your feet were already moving in the direction of the bedroom, that all too familiar tingly feeling building in your stomach. “We can watch a movie when we’re done… If you’re not too tired.” 

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[jankwritten]

feels like i'm heading into another gender/identity breakdown just based on the fact that I keep forgetting that I'm a human being that other people perceive and not just like. a faceless floating entity. like people SEE ME. i have a FACE. that's fucked up and shouldn't be allowed. I don't want peple to LOOK AT ME i want to just be an invisible GHOST i just want to be a BOX that is FLOATING GAH.

this could also be because i'm either way over or under stimulated rn and feel WAY TOO FUCKING ENERGISED but in a bad way. i can't believe that I'm a human and that the things I'm saying and doing are like. actual things that are happening. LIke I am REAL. that's fucking weird as shit to me.

[gummygowon]

bingo | park seonghwa

word count: 1.8k

genre: angst + fluff, single dad!seonghwa x reader

warnings: brief mention of hwa's ex partner not being in their daughter's life

author's note: after seeing seonghwa on that one show with kids i literally cannot get dad!teez out of my head

it's been almost a month? since you've started going out with seonghwa. he was a great guy, a little older than you and was always a gentleman to you, what more could you ask for? at this point, you were waiting for seonghwa to make it official but there was just something that was holding him back. you didn't know what it was but you trusted that with time he'll tell you.

tonight, was another date night and even after all these days you still got nervous before each one. it was no different when you arrived at seonghwa's house fiddling with the hem of your cardigan.

hesitantly, you knocked on the door to reveal a disheveled looking seonghwa. his usually slicked back hair wasn't done and a few buttons on his shirt were open.

"hi," seonghwa breathes out, a tired smile on his face.

"are you okay, hwa?" you ask almost instantly, concern taking over before you notice a tiny figure waddling up behind him. big doe eyes looking up at you from behind his legs, "oh hello!"

"yeojin, go into your room really quickly. appa will be there in a second." seonghwa softly asks, the exhaustion evident in his voice. "come in, i'm so sorry. just give me a minute, things have been...chaotic."

"oh no worries." you respond empathetically, taking note of how many toys and coloring books were scattered all over the place. so he has a child? is he divorced?

before too many questions popped into your mind, seonghwa immediately began talking as he began to pick up the scattered toys. "i'm so sorry about the mess. i had to stay at the office a little longer and then i picked up yeojin late and i just haven't had time to clean up and then our babysitter canceled last minute and now-"

"hey, hey," you interrupt before seonghwa combusts from being overwhelmed. to ease the burden, you also begin to pick up the toys around the living room after you placed a hand on his back. "it's okay. don't worry about it. there's always tomorrow seonghwa."

"i know, i know but-wait. you're not mad or disgusted?" the man stops in his tracks looking at you perplexed.

"i'm a little surprised if i'm being honest. i know taking care of a child is hard and by yourself i assume is even harder. your kid is more important than anything in the world, missing one date won't kill me hwa."

seonghwa was standing still, not a sound coming out his mouth which was beginning to freak you out. did you say the wrong thing? is seonghwa yeojin's dad or? "seonghwa?"

"sorry, i'm just a little shocked. not a lot of people are very happy when they find out they've been going out with a single dad." seonghwa lightly jokes trying to ease the tension in the air. "thank you though. it means a lot. really."

"of course," you smile at him.

a door opens to reveal a tiny yeojin peeking out from what you presumed to be her room.

"hey bubba, what's up." seonghwa asks, his voice becoming much softer.

she doesn't say much but instead pads over to the coffee table and attaches herself to her dad. "can we draw?"

"of course bubs. let appa go get the markers."

"i can get them." you say faster than seonghwa gets up to which he directs you over to one of the drawers in the living room.

upon your arrival, seonghwa has a bluey coloring book out for yeojin. crutching down to reach the table, you gasp softly at the blue dog. "is that bluey?"

yeojin nods her head shyly, a small smile appearing on her face as seonghwa looks up at you in surprise.

"ahh, i love bluey! who's your favorite character?" you ask watching yeojin point to the smaller, light colored dog.

"bingo?" yeojin nods again, her smile growing even bigger. "no way, i like her too!"

seonghwa watched the two of you converse in awe and he swears he couldn't have fallen more in love with you. it was always a gamble bringing up the fact that he had a kid to his dates and lately he's been ghosted more times than he can count. maybe that's why seonghwa took so long to talk about yeojin. although, he would never admit it, you had him wrapped your finger and he was scared to lose you.

so far though, you were taking his little "surprise" or "fun fact" about him better than he thought you would. still, he was worried what you would say when yeojin left the room. would you be mad at him? dump him on the spot? ghost him after tonight? he's never had one of his flings (?) ever meet yeojin because they all left at the mention of a kid. to say seonghwa was terrified of your reaction was a massive understatement.

"seonghwa?" you ask, pulling the dad out of his thoughts. "yeojin wants to watch bluey."

"right." he answers, gently removing yeojin from his lap as he goes to scrounge for the remote in his unusually disorganized apartment.

while seonghwa looks for the remote, you continue to converse with yeojin about bluey which was the show you ironically watched during dinner time. hey, there's actually plot and messages in the show okay?

by the time seonghwa returned, the two of you were in a deep conversation about some episode regarding bingo and bluey playing pretend with their grandad. almost immediately, yeojin eye's become glued to the screen as soon her dad puts on the kid's show leaving you and seonghwa to talk amongst each other.

"so, you know bluey?" seonghwa asks, a teasing tone to his voice.

an embarrassed laugh slips past your lips, "uh yeah, sounds silly but i watch it as background noise, you know?"

"i'm not judging," he pauses, "just surprised."

"yeah, i like the accents." you say in a panic causing seonghwa to smile, "so, um i don't mean to pry but i assume yeojin's yours?"

the smile slowly fades on his face as seonghwa feels the guilt build in his stomach. "yeah, her, uh mom isn't in the picture anymore."

"oh, i'm so sorry to hear that."

"it's fine now, it's better without her." seonghwa looks down at his hands trying to distract himself from the thoughts about the past.

"oh."

there was a beat of silence where the both of you didn't dare to look at each other, too afraid to make things weird. only the faint conversations of the tv and the sounds of the marker on paper were heard.

"look, i'm really sorry for dumping all this on you." seonghwa gestures to an oblivious yeojin. "i know you probably weren't expecting a child tonight or any of this really. i completely understand if you don't want to talk again or you need space. whatever you want, i'll do."

"it's okay,"

"i-you're not mad?" seonghwa asks in shock.

"i mean i'm not mad. i understand not bringing up a daughter on the first date. but i'm just a little disappointed you didn't tell me sooner." you confess.

"i didn't want to lose you."

"seonghwa-"

"i was trying to plan the perfect time to talk about yeojin but i just got so swamped with everything that time slipped through my fingers and you had to find out in such a shitty way."

your eyes dart towards a sleepy yeojin on seonghwa's lap at the curse word. even he jumps a little at his realization and then calms down when he realized that his baby girl was almost knocked out in his lap.

"would you have told me before we made things official?" you ask, testing the waters about how serious you could go tonight with the questions.

"yes. most definitely yes. i couldn't just ask you to be my partner and then surprise you that i have a whole child that i've been hiding from you."

interesting. so was he going to tell you about yeojin soon? was he going to make things official?

seonghwa could see the gears turning in your head at his words. "it sounds hypocritical now but trust me i really wanted you two to meet. i just-i really like you y/n."

you go quiet. processing everything he was saying. from what he was saying there was a very very high chance he wants you to be his like officially his but even if he actually wanted to make things official, he has a whole child. a child without a mother. were you really ready to take on the responsibility to be one? or anything similar to that role?

being with seonghwa meant much more than just being together and loyal to one another. being honest, you didn't mind yeojin. so far you got along great with her but a single interaction and convo won't predict the future of your relationship with her. it's a lot definitely but-

"y/n," seonghwa softly says pulling you out from your daze, "i'll be right back i'm gonna put yeojin down in her room."

you hum in response, letting your thoughts consume you once more.

your brain was beginning to ache because of how much you were thinking but one thing was for certain. you really liked seonghwa. enough that you were willing to accept everything that came with him - including yeojin.

you reminded yourself that dating seonghwa didn't mean automatically becoming a parent all of a sudden. he wasn't asking that of you. probably won't for a long time. he wants you for you. it's just a bonus you got along with yeojin so far.

there was a soft click of the door closing that made you turn your head. you look over to see seonghwa awkwardly make his way over to you, uncertainty written all over his face.

"i'm sorry for going quiet on you." you apologize, fingers toying with the hem of your cardigan once more. "i was just thinking."

a quiet laugh escapes seonghwa, "it's okay, don't worry about it. i'm sure tonight was a lot. but-"

"listen, seonghwa," oh here it comes. the "i'm so sorry, i don't think this will work out anymore". "i don't know what your plans were for us but regardless of what happened tonight, i want to be more. i know you having a whole kid might make things difficult or a little confusing but, i'm willing to try with you."

seonghwa felt his heart drop and then pick back up again when you finished talking. he didn't know what to say. he was grateful, excited, but most of all relived.

"so, how does another date this thursday night," seonghwa pauses, trying to not choke on his words, "as mine sound?"

"are you finally asking me to be your partner, park seonghwa?" you smile. it's finally happening.

"yes." seonghwa breathes out, truly terrified of your answer.

"then yes, i would love to." you answer, wrapping your arms around seonghwa's neck.

"sounds good then my love." seonghwa mumbles, his heart racing and his head buzzing from the overwhelming night but it didn't matter to him.

you were finally his.

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: ...

MC: *woke up in a bed with Leona sleeping beside them*

MC: ...

MC: *displeased expression* *thinking that they're in another nightmare*

MC: *carefully sat up* *then shoves Leona out of the bed*

Leona: Ow- What the!

MC: Huh. It talks.

Leona: Grr! Who just- *stood up from the floor and sees MC has been awake*

Leona: ...

MC: ...

MC: *moves out of the bed and walks to the door*

Leona: Hey! Wait-

MC: *threatens to burn Leona*

Leona: !!!

MC: I've got no time for you. My child is waiting for me. *opens the door and leaves*

Leona: Tch! You're still delirious! Come back here! *chases after them*

Leona: MC! MC!

MC: *who walks fast for someone who just woke up*

Leona: MC! Grr! I'm losing my patience with you! *ends up sprinting after them*

MC: *but they're faster*

The servants: *witnessing the situation*

Servant A: We need to inform Master Kalim that MC woke up!

Servant B: But what are we going to do to Prince Leona? He's chasing them!

Servant A: MC will be fine! Let's go!

Kalim: MC! *sniffles* You worried us a lot!

MC: ...

MC: Ah, so I have woken up.

Leona: I've been telling you! *who had chased them for almost an hour*

MC: *looks unapologetic*

Kalim: How are you feeling? You're not hurt anywhere, right?

MC: Yes. I'm fine, my lord.

Kalim: I'm asking because you didn't wake up for five days straight. *sniffles*

MC: I see.

Jamil: And I want to apologize for taking action without your knowledge.

Jamil: Leona here took care of you while you were unconscious.

MC: Jamil, where is my baby?

Jamil: *smiles* He's safe and sound.

Leona: Hey, are you not going to thank me?

MC: *looks at him* No. *then turns back their attention to Jamil*

Leona: *a vein pops on his forehead*

MC: Can I see my child now?

Jamil: Of course.

Kalim: Mom and Dad are babysitting him right now! *beams*

MC: Thank you for taking care of my son while I was unconscious.

Kalim's mother: *smiling* It's fine. I'm glad to see you awake now.

Kalim's father: We wouldn't have forgiven ourselves if something serious had happened to you.

MC: I shall never worry you again.

Kalim's mother: Anyway, have you thought of a name to give him?

Kalim's father: Prince Leona suggested a name, but, we wanted to hear it from you.

Leona: *frowning while listening to the side*

MC: ...

MC: His name is Liora.

Kalim's parents: ...

Kalim and Jamil: ...

Leona: *who has his eyes widened in surprise*

Kalim: No way...

Kalim: That's the name Leona suggested too!

MC: ...

Jamil: Kalim.

Kalim's parents: *thinking* These two shouldn't have divorced.

[daisynik7]

“S&M” by Rihanna for Toji Fushiguro - smut

S&M

I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.0k

cw: smut - PIV sex (doggy style), cunnilingus, mild S&M practices - whips, blindfold, handcuffs, protected sex (for once lol), use of safe word, rough sex, pet names (cutie, sweetheart)

Summary: You are next-door neighbors with a man named Toji Fushiguro. You don’t know much about him, except for the fact that he’s a divorced father who spends every other weekend with his young son, Megumi. On the weeks he doesn’t have him, you notice the same trio of women visiting his house. One night, his package gets incorrectly delivered to your door. Too curious, you walk over to return it, only to find the front door unlocked and a naughty secret to discover.

Author’s Notes: Thanks for the request anon! I love Rihanna, so it’s no surprise that she’s on the y2k karaoke party playlist! I personally am not well-versed with S&M practices, so this was an experience to write, definitely a little bit out of my comfort zone, but I hope it’s still okay! This is more on the milder side, I'm sure. Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are always appreciated, thanks for reading! MDNI divider credit to @/cafekitsune.

You’re not usually this nosey when it comes to your neighbors, but something about Toji Fushiguro draws you in. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a divorced dad who takes good care of his adorable son, Megumi. Or maybe it’s the mysterious trio of women who frequently visits his house on the weeks he doesn’t have his child. Or maybe it’s his obvious good looks and impressive physique that you can’t help but notice every time he steps foot outside. Whatever it is, whether it’s a combination of all of the above, you just can’t get Toji Fushiguro off your mind. 

On this particular Friday night, you’re staying in, binging a TV show with a glass of white wine in your hands and a frozen pizza that you just baked in the oven. There’s a knock on your front door, which surprises you because you aren’t expecting anybody at this hour. You give it a few moments, seeing if there’s another knock. When none comes, you get up to scope it out, finding a large package directly in front of you and a delivery truck driving off in the distance. You check the shipping label, reading Toji’s name on it instead of yours. You glance at his front yard, spotting his car parked in the driveway and no one else’s. His girlfriends must have already left; you noticed their vehicle earlier beside his. 

Not bothering to change into anything presentable, currently wearing your sweats and fuzzy slippers, you carry the wrongly delivered package to its rightful owner, hoping if you can find some truth behind your neighbor’s unique bi-weekly ritual. You’ve thought about it before, the most likely answer being a polyamorous relationship or group sex. Still, it’ll put your mind to rest to know exactly what he does in there when little Megumi is away and Toji is free to play. So, you carefully lift the box, which isn’t heavy, over to his front door, setting it down to ring the bell. You push the button, then notice that the door is already open, slightly ajar. Another ring, and no one comes, though you’re certain you hear movement inside. 

You should turn around. Go back home, sink into your couch, continue the night as normal. Yet, your feet guide you in, closing the door shut behind you, tip-toeing farther into the house, waiting to catch Toji in the act, whatever that could be. Eventually, you make it to the living room, where you stand in the doorframe, searching for your neighbor, who you find sitting on the couch with his shirt off, scrolling through his phone. 

You knock on the wall, announcing your presence. He looks up, confused, inspecting you carefully before saying your name. “What are you doing in here?” He’s way more cavalier than you imagined he’d be, which you’re thankful for. 

You present the box to him, a nervous grin on your face as you explain, “This just got delivered to my house on accident. I rang the bell, but no one answered. And your front door was open, so I figured I’d just come inside to give it to you.” It’s a poor excuse; you really shouldn’t have barged in without permission. 

He seems to buy it though, rolling his eyes, muttering, “Damn Kimi. She’s always doing that.” He approaches you, grabbing the box from your hands. “Thank you for getting this to me. Been waiting for it all night, so I was bummed it didn’t come in on time.” He sets it down on the floor, kneeling beside it, ready to unwrap. 

You search the room, trying to find any clues of what they could be doing inside here. It looks normal, nothing nefarious standing out. Slightly disappointed, you take this as your cue to leave, turning on your heel to make your way back home. Before you can, Toji calls out your name and asks, “Don’t you want to see the little present I got? After all, it was almost yours. Would have loved to see your reaction if you opened it by accident.” His tone is playful, yet there’s something wicked behind his words. Something naughty.

You swallow hard, mouth already salivating. This isn’t how you planned your night to go, but you’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about it before. You face him again, stepping towards the box slowly, sitting on the other side. He uses a pocketknife to slice through the tape, eyes lighting up as he reaches inside, holding up his delivered item like a treasure. It’s a riding whip, soft leather on one end, handle on the other. He smirks at you, slapping it against his palm, making a loud crack sound. You jump up, startled by the noise. He barks a laugh at your reaction, laying the whip down on the coffee table next to him. He reaches in again, pulling out three sets of fuzzy handcuffs, twirling one around his fingers. “Damn, would have been fun to use these tonight.” Glancing over at you, legs squeezed tightly together, arousal seeping through your panties, he scans you up and down, giving you a wicked smile. “You want to try these out, neighbor? I promise, I’ll go easy on you.”

It's ridiculous, right? Completely silly and irresponsible for you to agree to this, right? You blurt out your answer before you can even contemplate those questions logically. “Yes.”

He chuckles, biting him lip, eyes focused on your loins currently throbbing against the fabric of your sweats. You really wish you dressed up now, but it doesn’t matter, as he commands you to, “Strip.”

Almost too eagerly, you obey, kicking your slippers off and undressing, starting with your shirt, which you toss behind your shoulder. He studies you carefully, eyes following your every move as you slip out of your pants, down to only your underwear and bra now. He licks his lips, stepping closer to you. “Yeah,” he purrs, breath hot on your skin. “This will definitely work.”

~~~

Within minutes, you find yourself naked in his bedroom, blindfolded, wrists handcuffed behind you, face buried into the pillow, and ass up, perfectly vulnerable for him to do as he pleases. The two of you establish a safe word: mignon, because he thinks you’re cute, and the filet mignon is his favorite cut of meat. He suggests several acts he wants to perform on you and lets you decide which ones you want to go through with. You make your choice, asking to be spanked with the new whip he received. Something about breaking in one of his new accessories turns you on. 

Not being able to see anything, you listen carefully to what he’s doing behind you. You hear him unwrap the condom wrapper, sliding the latex over his cock. Then, there’s a squelch, most likely the lube he’s pouring into his hand, coating his shaft with it. “Are you ready, cutie? I’m going to start with the whip first, okay?” You nod, heart pounding in your chest, nervous and thrilled all at once.

“Words, sweetheart. Use your words. I have to hear you say it.”

You swallow your spit, trying to speak coherently. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“Good. That’s a good girl.” You feel the cool leather against your skin, anticipating it as he counts down. “Three, two, one.” Then, smack. It’s quick, painful for only a few seconds. You can tell he’s holding back, cautious of you. “Did you like that?” he asks. 

“Yes,” you say, wiggling your ass to him. “Give it to me harder.”

He chuckles, swearing under his breath. “Fuck, okay. I’ll go harder then.” He counts down once more, the slap definitely more intense this time. Your skin stings from the contact and it feels like you’re already gushing from your cunt, core tight with pleasure. 

He continues this until he’s delivered ten smacks to each of your ass cheeks. Your body is sweltering now, the skin on your ass surely hotter than the rest of you. Your pussy flutters, aching to be filled, clit throbbing, desperate to be licked. “Toji,” you whimper, drooling from the sides of your mouth. “Fuck me.”

There’s that laugh again, low, taunting, so fucking sexy. “Not yet. Want to make you come before I fuck this pretty cunt.” He positions himself beneath you, between your legs. “Fuck my face. You can be rough with me. I can take it.”

His grip is firm on your hips, guiding you as you ride him, spreading yourself over his wide tongue and gaping mouth. He’s eats you better than any guy you’ve ever fucked before, sloppy and wet, as if he thoroughly enjoys slurping at your juices. He slides his hands over your ass, massaging the skin made raw from his spanking. And before you get a chance to warn him, you come all over his face, gushing into his mouth. 

“Fuck yeah,” he muffles, lapping up your slick. “So fucking good for me.”

Desperate now to be filled, you beg, “Please, Toji. Fuck me. Need you inside me.”

He slides out from beneath you, positioning himself behind you with his cock pressed between your ass cheeks. “I need it too, cutie. Need to pump my fat cock inside this perfect pussy.” He moans loudly as he slides himself inside you, stretching you out, inch by inch, until you swallow him whole. He thrusts into you, slowly at first while you adjust to his length. Gradually, he picks up the pace, pounding you hard and fast, his grip on your wrists, still bound by the handcuffs. The stretch in your shoulders is starting to burn now, arms pinned way back as he uses it for leverage. It’s not enough to coax the safe word out of you, yet. You need more of him to satiate this overwhelming desire.

“You’re taking it like such a good girl,” he moans, pumping himself into you. “Did you ever think about this before? Think about me?”

“Fuck yes. All the time,” you admit, drooling onto the pillowcase. 

“Shit, I knew it. I knew I should have slutted you out sooner,” he growls, bullying his way deeper. It’s almost too much. Almost. A couple more strokes and it actually is, your shoulders sore, nervous they’ll pop out of its sockets. You’ve had your fill of him, your guts feeling like they’ve been rearranged by his massive cock. You’re tempted to stay quiet, not wanting this to end just yet. But your body is begging you for a break. 

“Mignon,” you croak out, throat dry from the incessant moaning.

“Fuck,” he mutters, pulling out, immediately unlocking the handcuffs on your wrists and untying the blindfold. “You were taking that so good.” He flips you over on your back, inspecting you. For the first time since you started, you make eye contact with him, your heart swelling from the genuine smile on his face, gazing at you fondly. “Are you okay, cutie?” He brushes the tears from your eyes, cupping your cheek in his calloused palm.

You nod, mumbling an exhausted, “Yes,” closing your eyes to lean into his touch. 

He cuddles you, kissing your neck as he continues to stroke himself off. He trails down your chest, latching his lips around your nipple, sucking until he comes inside the condom. When he’s done, he removes it, tying the open end closed and tossing it into the waste basket next to him bed. 

It’s silent for a few moments as the two of you relax in each other’s arms. Eventually, he clears his throat to say, “This was fun. I usually don’t do this outside of the group.”

You understand that he’s referring to the trio of women who you saw earlier, and finally, the mystery is solved. Slightly disappointed, you respond, “I’m sorry if I messed anything up.”

He smiles at you. “You didn’t.”

You snuggle closer, kissing him softly. His lips melt into yours, tongue slipping inside your mouth. When you break apart, you ask, “Then, should I only show up when they show up?”

He shakes his head, smirking. “No. I think I want you as my own special plaything from now on.”

[oliviablancmom]

"Pedriiii - FINAL PART"

Pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x singlemom!OC

Themes: Angst, Fluff.

N/A: And so, reaching the final part, but not the end of the journey as there is still the bonus chapter. So I'll leave the acknowledgments for when I post the bonus. Anyway, thank you for the comments, asks, and likes, I love seeing your reactions to the chapters. Anyway... Enjoy.

Axel leaned against the glass door, his eyes sparkling with enchantment as he watched the crowds begin to fill the stadium. Isa was always amazed at how much Axel loved all that energy. The private box door opened, and both Isa and Axel turned to see who was entering.

"Okay, I'll pretend I'm not hurt by the disappointment on your faces," Gavi joked, a laugh escaping his lips.

"Hi, Gavi!" Axel said, waving and then turning his attention back to the stadium.

"I have to say, I feel like a child in the middle of a parental divorce," the player said humorously. "Especially when I have to make the trip for the youngest child with one of the parents." Isa playfully slapped Gavi's arm.

"Stop saying this kind of thing," she said annoyed.

"Where's Pedri? Mom said I'd be with you guys today," Axel asked curiously, finally approaching Gavi and greeting the player with a high-five.

"He hasn't arrived yet, buddy. But he's on his way." Isa rolled her eyes because she knew what that meant: he was waiting for her to leave so he could enter the space.

Since Pedri's confrontation with Henry and Isa's subsequent message, their relationship has regressed. It felt like they were strangers again, with Pedri avoiding her at all costs. Even when she was with Axel, he did an excellent job of pretending she wasn't there. And though the decision had come from her, his indifference affected her more than she liked.

Today, Axel was supposed to watch the game with his grandfather, but the older man got stuck at work and would be late for the match. Isa was swamped with work and couldn't keep an eye on Axel, and with how crowded the stadium got, she wouldn't leave the little boy alone. So, she had to message Gavi, asking him to watch her son, and he promptly agreed. Of course, Pedri, who was suspended by Xavi, would also be present.

"I have to go, Axel. Behave yourself," Isa said, kneeling to hug her son, who returned the gesture. "And Gavi, don't kill my dad today when you meet," Isa said humorously, holding the player's shoulders.

"I can't promise anything; he's going to meet the favorite son." Isa rolled her eyes, deeply regretting making friends with the player.

"Pedriiii!" Axel's voice caught her attention. Isa turned towards the door, seeing Pedri leaning against it with an unfriendly expression. He bent down to pick up Axel, and the scene made Isa's heart skip a beat.

"You need a bib," Gavi sang beside her, pulling her out of her trance. She lightly pushed the younger player and headed for the exit. Only then did she notice a boy behind Pedri who looked a lot like him, and she quickly associated him with his brother. He had an observant look directed at Axel, then at Isa. Isa opened her mouth to greet the player, but he ignored her and walked past with Axel in his arms. Isa rolled her eyes at the action, noticing that even Axel didn't pay attention to her. Pedri also walked right past Gavi, heading out of the reserved room with Axel. Gavi turned to her, laughing.

"See, I told you I'm the kid in the middle of the divorce," he said, following Pedri.

"Oh, it's great to meet the one responsible for my brother's bad mood," Pedri's brother said behind Isa. "You better find a way to fix it because I can't stand him anymore," he said with an ironic smile. "I'm Fernando, his brother," he said, extending his hand to Isa.

"Isabella Harver!" Isa returned the gesture. "I figured; you two look very much alike."

"I hope not," he said, making a face. Isa smiled at him.

"I need to go. It was a pleasure meeting you," she said kindly.

"Likewise, and I was serious about you doing something to improve his mood," Fer said while heading toward his brother. Isa took a deep breath and smiled nervously at him waving goodbye and went to her activities.

**********************************************

Pedri was in a bad mood again, it was becoming recurring. After the commotion in the game against Atletico de Madrid, he received a one-match suspension from the coaching staff, so once again his return to the field had been postponed. In part, he was happy because he would have a bit more time to recover and come back fully for the match against PSG, which was more important. However, he couldn't ignore the bittersweet feeling he had. And as always, part of these feelings were because of the woman who had taken over his thoughts. Pedri still hadn't gotten over the fact that he had practically confessed his feelings to her, and in response, he only received a message ending everything. Pedri even tried to ignore the woman's presence because of his wounded pride, but since she was always around in his daily life due to her work on the team or when he was with Axel, it was impossible to ignore her completely, no matter how hard he tried.

Like at this moment, when Pedri had entered the team's cafeteria, there she was, sitting at a table with Gavi, Ferran, and Ter Stegen. Pedri felt irritated that all his friends had somehow become friends with the woman. Gavi was the closest, always hanging around her when he wasn't in his physiotherapy sessions. The other guys joked that he had chosen the mother's side in the divorce. Ter Stegen was close to Isa because his wife was friends with her. Ferran had gotten closer just to annoy Pedri even more than he already did. Pedri swallows a breath and heads towards their table, sitting next to Ferran, across from Gavi. Isa was seated between Gavi and Ter Stegen, and an immediate silence fell over the table.

"Hey, Gavi, did you already give the pass to Aurora's friend so she can enter the VIP box at the game?" Pedri asks Gavi directly, who looks at him wide-eyed.

"I haven't been able to see her yet," Gavi says, shrugging.

"Who is it?" Isa's voice caught the player's attention. And Pedri finally looks directly at her, her eyes narrowed and her face flushed.

"Why does that matter to you?" Pedri asks, speaking to her for the first time in days.

"I am responsible for the club's and players' image. I must know who you are associating with in case it affects the club's image," she says in a professional tone, clasping her hands on the table.

"It's someone I'm seeing," Pedri says, also leaning his arms on the table, copying the woman's gesture. Gavi mutters an embarrassed "no, it's not," receiving a kick from Pedri under the table. "Don't worry, her image won't cause any problems for the team. It's not like she's married to someone from another team," Pedri says bitterly.

"Wow, very mature," Isa says, irritated. "But what can i expect from a teenager," she says with a victorious smile. Despite the irritation from her using one of his insecurities to attack him, her reaction revealed exactly what he needed to know: Isabella Harver was a fraud regarding her feelings.

"Well, you didn't complain about me being a teenager when I fuck you in that hotel room."

"Hey!" Ferran and Gavi say simultaneously embarrassed, while the goalkeeper stands up from the table.

"This is too much for me," he says, walking away.

"For Gavi too, he looks like he's going to be sick knowing about his parents' sex life," Ferran says, laughing at the situation. Pedri looked at his best friend, who had his face hidden in his hands. Isa's eyes were wide as she looked at Pedri, her face and neck red with embarrassment. And the reaction caused a smug smile on his face as he stared back at her. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so she just stood up, dazed, stumbling over her chair and bumping into a passing staff member as she quickly walked away.

**********************************************

Isa was drained by Pedri's indifference. It bothered her more than she'd admit, especially since distancing herself had been her decision. But as the player's presence was too present in her life now, was too intense for her to ignore. She had tried to have a more friendly approach, considering that Pedri still interacted with Axel, even though they both ended up crossing paths because of work, but still, Pedri avoided her in every possible way. She hadn't realized the intensity of her feelings until he avoided her, for Isa, their relationship was carnal, but since the first time they were together, she has all these new feelings.

"Smoke will soon come out of your head, due to the intensity you're thinking," Gavi said, catching her attention, as usual, after his physiotherapy session, he came to visit her at the office.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Isa asked, immediately grimacing when she noticed the tone she used with the player. Gavi gave a small smile, showing that he wasn't offended.

"God, you two are impossible. This would all be resolved if you just talked and addressed the obvious sexual tension," Gavi said, getting up and walking to Isa's table. Isa looked at him, offended.

"There's no such thing, and well, he's the one ignoring me" Isa shrugged. "And you see how he treats me at the cafeteria"

"Unfortunately, now I know things I wish I didn't," Gavi says annoyed remembering the scene he was forced to witness. "And also, You asked for it!" Gavi concluded for her.

"I was just taking care of his career, the fans and HR were already on me because of the photos that came out of him with me Axel at the parking lot, imagine if it had been leaked that he fought with my husband," Isa said tiredly, she knew that her request had been immature, but she was only thinking about the complications the player would face. And yes, a part of her was being selfish, because that was the easiest way out to deal with Henry, if he knew that she would be in a relationship with Pedri, he would complicate her life even more and the divorce request and consequently, Axel's guard. And Isa wouldn't risk that, especially since she was trying to convince herself that it was all carnal with them.

"That's not your obligation to do, Pedri is very responsible and I think he knows what's best for him. Again, you have a miscommunication, that could be solved if you guys talked." Gavi said in a more serious tone.

"Wow, now I understand when they talk about you being a leader, you have a way with words," Isa said, pouting and receiving a mocking smile from Gavi. "I feel like a proud mother because I don't need to do much work to take care of your image... if we ignore your intensity on the field" Gavi rolled his eyes.

"I only react if they attack me..." Isa smiles at the boy.

"Yeah, of course. Anyway, you coming to help me organize Axel's party, Right?" She asked hopeful, that since her father would be working she and Gianna would be with all the work.

"I'll take the opportunity to meet your father since he couldn't come that day," Gavi says excitedly.

"Yeah, he will probably arrive when the party already starts, he's busy at work lately" Isa let out a breath already tired.

"Ok then, I see you on Saturday," Gavi says giving a kiss on her head and going out of her office.

Isa was happy with their friendship, Gavi was a cool kid, and protective of those whom he knew, and also it was her way to know about Pedri.

**********************************************

Pedri had questioned whether he should go to Axel's birthday party, considering he was ignoring the boy's mother, but after a conversation with Gavi and his brother Fer, he concluded that it wouldn't be fair if he didn't go. Pedri didn't even want to think about doing something that would upset the little boy. And there they were, at Axel's grandfather's house, welcomed by the boy's grandmother, Gianna, who informed them that Axel was still getting ready. Pedri followed with Fer, the woman through the yard to the table where Ferran, Gavi, Ter Stegen, and the club's physiotherapist Mattia, a last-minute invitee by Axel, were already seated. Pedri greeted his friends and sat down, quickly looking around. He noticed some familiar faces of people who worked at the club and some unfamiliar faces, but no sign of her, or Axel.

"Dude, you're so obvious," Ferran said, laughing. Pedri rolled his eyes, ignoring his friend, and continued to observe the surroundings.

Axel was a kid who breathed football, and if it wasn't already obvious from his wardrobe, which consisted mainly of Barcelona uniforms, or from his room, it was even clearer at his party. The yard where the party was taking place was all decorated with balloons in Barça colors, balloons shaped like balls, real balls scattered all over the yard, and decorations and table ornaments—all football or Barcelona-related.

"This could easily be a Gavira birthday party," commented Ferran, while he picked up the mini Barcelona flag decorating the table.

"Look, Gavi, at the end of the party they give the balloons to the kids. Better set yours aside now," Ter Stegen joined in the fun.

"Oh, but I’m taking some. I inflated most of them." Pedri turned so quickly to look at him that he felt a slight discomfort in his neck. Gavi raised his hands in surrender with a mocking look on his face. "What? She asked for my help since her dad couldn't. And she would ask you if you weren't ignoring her"

"I feel for you Gavi, I can see that these two are making your life difficult," Ter Stegen says laughing and patting Gavi's shoulder.

"Wait a minute," Mattia asked after some minutes listening to the talk. "Didn't HR give you guys a warning about this relationship? And like, nothing could be happening between you guys"

"That's the thing my friend," Ferran says. "Nothing is happening, and that's why they both are annoying right now." Mattia Opens his mouth in a perfect 'O' of realization.

"Oh, that's crazy dude," Mattia says making the boys laugh.

"You don't have idea how much we have to take it," Fer says making Pedri look at him offended.

"I'm right here, could you guys stop it?

"PEDRIIII, you came!" the little boy's voice filled the garden as he ran right into the player, hugging him tightly.

"Hi buddy, of course, I wouldn’t miss it for anything," Pedri said, returning the hug, noticing that Isa was standing right beside him. The player has to swallow the knot in his throat as he looks at her, she is looking beautiful in a yellow dress.

"Come on, Axel, you need to greet the other guests too," Isa said in a sweeter tone, taking Pedri out of his thoughts. And Axel immediately greeted the others at the table. Pedri handed his present to Axel, who didn’t want to wait and opened it right there with the player. Pedri smiled at the excitement on Axel’s face when he saw the framed display with all the jerseys from Barcelona's history.

"Look, Mom." The little boy turns the frame so that his mother can see it.

"Wow that's beautiful, you can hang it in your room." She said smiling at him.

"Don't forget your M&Ms" Pedri gave to Axel.

"Yay" The boy smiles excitedly and gives both presents to his mother to hold, and he hugs Pedri again. Pedri noticed Axel's grandfather approaching their table, looking a bit hesitant.

"Hey buddy, I think you'd better help your grandpa or he might pass out when he sees Gavi." Axel stepped away from the player, looking at his grandfather who was getting closer.

"Pops!" the little boy exclaimed, meeting the older man halfway and pulling him over to the table.

"This is going to be funny" Isa said as she watches her father approaching.

"Don't be jealous, Isa," Gavi joked, earning an eye roll from the woman. Pedri watched the scene attentively, and indeed, Isa and Axel hadn't been kidding when they said Gavi was the man's favorite. The man had a slightly red face as he got closer.

"Pops, this is Gavi," Axel introduced, the older man extending his hand to Gavi, who pulled him into a hug. He quickly let go of Axel to hug Gavi. Axel turned to his mother with an indignant look, and Isa just shrugged, laughing at the scene.

"My God, he's trembling and sweating," Ferran commented.

"I thought Gavi's charm was only influential on teenage fans and kids," Ter Stegen said, making them laugh. Axel approached Pedri, raising his arms to be picked up by the player, which he promptly did. He watched the scene closely; it was indeed comical. Isa's father was a tall and strong man, with a robust and intimidating appearance, but seeing him lose his composure over Gavira was very amusing.

"Gavi stole your grandpa, Axel," Fer, who was standing behind Pedri, said to Axel, poking the little boy's cheek.

"No problem, I have Pedri!" the boy said excitedly, hugging the player's neck. Pedri returned the gesture, feeling proud to be the child's choice. Isa was silently watching the two, and Pedri wished he could know what was going through her mind with the intensity of her gaze. But before he could do anything about it, Gianna called her, and she went to see what the older woman needed.

**********************************************

Isa watched from the sidelines as Henry and his family fawned over Axel, acting like perfect parents. She felt suffocated, remembering how much she once wished this was reality and how hard she had fought for it. But that was in the past, especially after her father had opened her eyes to Henry's true behavior towards her and Axel.

Her little boy, the one she had raised to be so loving, craved his father's attention. But now, as Henry kept Axel from Pedri and the other Barça players, Isa could see the frustration building in her son. What was supposed to be a fun party for Axel was quickly turning sour.

The final straw came when Henry gave Axel an Atletico de Madrid kit and forced him to wear it. The little boy's eyes reddened, but he didn't cry. Instead, he looked to Isa for rescue. Just as she was about to intervene, Henry's mother stepped in front of her.

"See what you're doing? Can't you let the boy have a moment with his father? You keep taking him away from Henry, and now you bring that boy into his life. You should be ashamed, especially when you're still married," the woman spat out venomously.

Isa replied in a low, controlled tone, "You know I’ve never kept Axel away from Henry. The problem is you guys always force him to do things he doesn’t want to do and treat him badly."

Henry's father chimed in, "Oh please, you’ve pampered this boy too much. He’s a man and needs to start acting like one."

Isa's fists clenched, ready to lash out, but Gianna's hands on her shoulders pushed her back, calming her rage. "Did you see how they drain Axel's spirit?" Isa said in a choked voice, feeling the tears in her eyes.

"Oh my dear, I know," Gianna said, hugging her to comfort her, but it was impossible. Isa had made it clear to Henry that it was better if he didn't come to the birthday party since her father didn't want the man in his house. But of course, Henry ignored the request and was determined to ruin everything. "You better go to Dad before he does something stupid," Isa said to Gianna. "I'll be fine, Gigi." The older woman nodded and went outside to find her husband.

Isa watched from the kitchen window as Henry's family interacted with Axel. She could see the boy getting more and more irritated and frustrated. Isa could only think about how inconvenient it was to force him to wear the uniform of another team, given his adoration for Barça. She looked to the other side at her father, who was standing there with his usual scowl when it came to Henry. He made no effort to hide his disdain. Gavi and Pedri, standing on either side of him, also looked irritated. Isa didn't know if it was the nerves, but the scene made her laugh to herself.

"Do you see what you're doing to my son?" Henry's voice emerged from behind her, and Isa took a deep breath, turning to face him, knowing there was no escaping the confrontation. That was Henry, and he would do everything possible to make her feel bad. "And what did I say about you being with that boy? Don't you have any shame?"

"I'm not with that boy; he's Axel's guest. And what the hell was that about forcing him to wear another team's uniform? You know he hates any team that isn't Barcelona," Isa said in a firm tone, showing she wasn't intimidated by Henry. He narrowed his eyes surprised by the woman's confrontation, and then approached her abruptly and pushed her against the sink.

"Because he's my son, and he has to wear the uniform of the team I work for. And you'd better go out there and send that boy away, or I will," Henry said in a threatening voice.

"You won't do anything because you're in my house, and these are my guests. If you're not satisfied, you're the one who needs to leave." Isa was so engrossed in her confrontation with Henry that she didn't notice her father entering the kitchen, accompanied, of course, by Pedri and Gavi. Henry released her and approached the older man.

"You support this nonsense?" Henry said disdainfully, pointing at Pedri.

"It's none of your business what I support. You're here as a guest, and you have no say here." Isa could see from her father's body language that he was controlling himself not to lose it with Henry. Gavi approached her, quietly asking if she was okay. She just nodded.

Henry laughed mockingly in the older man's face. "That's my son, and I have total freedom and authority to say who he can interact with, and you know that if I want, I can take him right now. Any judge will side with me. So if I'm saying he has to go, he has to go," he said in a threatening tone, now standing in front of Pedri. Before any of them could react, Axel walked into the kitchen.

"NO!!! I want Pedri to stay. This is my party, and I don't want you here. You only make my mother cry, make me cry... And I don't like you. GO AWAY" The little boy screamed, punching Henry's leg fiercely, and Isa felt her heartbreak at the scene, she took a step toward Axel, but Henry turned furious at her.

"See what you have done?" Henry pushed Axel and went towards her, and that's when everything became blurry. Isa felt Henry's hands on her arms and one on her hair. But at the same time, it was a brief contact because he was pulled off her. Isa didn't pay attention to who did it, only that her father, Pedri, and Gavi were on top of the man, dragging him out. Isa looked at Axel, who was on the floor crying uncontrollably and ran to him, picking him up and rushing upstairs to calm him down.

"I don't want him, Mom. I don't want to stay with him, I don't want him to keep hurting you, I don't want to stop being friends with Pedri. But if that's what it takes to stop him from hurting us, then I'll stop." The little boy cries out in desperation, crying so hard that his words come out broken between sobs.

"Axel, listen to me. I'm your mother. You grew inside me, and I've always taken care of you. I would never let you be near someone who could hurt you, and that's why this ends here." She says, wiping the boy's tears. "Don't worry. And you shouldn't stop being friends with anyone, as long as you want to, as long as I let you, you can stay in touch with whoever you want, understand?" The little boy nodded, and Isa took the opportunity to hug him tightly. Soon, soft knocks were heard on the door.

"Isa, Axel. It's me," Pedri's voice came through. "I just want to know if you two are okay," he asked. "Please," he said in a broken voice. Axel pulled away, looking at Isa.

"Can I open it?" he asked softly.

"If that's what you want, my love," the little boy smiled excitedly, nodding in agreement. "Then go ahead," she put her son on the floor. Before reaching the door, the boy stopped abruptly in his tracks. Then he turned to Isa with wide eyes. "Mom, he's going to see the M&Ms," he whispered. Isa let out a giggle at her son's distress and got up, grabbing the package and putting it inside the wardrobe. Axel let out a relieved breath and ran to the door, opening it for the player to come in. Pedri bent down, picking Axel up and hugging him tightly, his eyes on Isa, who felt her eyes filling with tears at the sight. He took a step towards her, but Isa responded by stepping back.

"Oh come on, are you still doing this?" Pedri said irritably, which caught Axel's attention, who pulled away from the hug. "Sorry, buddy." Pedri smiled, ruffling Axel's hair, and making him giggle. "Do you want to go back to your party? You can practice your goals on Ter Stegen, and then you can make the other boys at school jealous," Pedri said humorously.

"Pedri!" Isa reprimanded him.

"I'm just kidding," the player said, looking at her, but he whispered something to Axel, making the little boy laugh, and then the two went outside.

It wasn't long before Gavi entered her room, walking firmly to hug her.

"Thank you!" Isa said sincerely.

"It's all right, your dad did most of the work. You should have seen how scared that jerk got when your dad started yelling at him. I'm glad he's my fan and not my hater," Isa laughed. "Did you and Pedri work things out?" he asked. Isa just shook her head negativity. "Oh come on, you guys need to sort this out soon. I can't stand playing the mediator's son's role anymore," Isa rolled her eyes at him.

"I have some things to figure out. And well, it's not like he's been clear about what he wants. I have a son, and Pedri is young. I don't want to put serious responsibilities on him," Isa said, feeling much more insecure than she wanted to show. Gavi made a face at her.

"You talk as if you're a 40-year-old woman," Gavi said mockingly. "Pedri would practically lick the ground you and Axel walk on. And with all due respect, I adore you, but you're the one who has never been clear about your feelings from the start," Gavi said more seriously. "Was Pedri just a distraction, a one-time thing, or do you have any feelings for him?" Isa remained silent, a bit shocked and offended by the tone the younger one had used at her.

"I said I had things to figure out..." Isa said softly.

"Well, you need to do that quickly," Gavi said finally, leaving Isa alone in the room.

**********************************************

Again, Pedri was a patient person; he had been throughout his recovery from the injury. He was also trying to be patient with Isabella, but he felt frustrated with the way she was pushing him away. Since the confusion at Axel's birthday party, she had been ignoring him. Axel seemed unfazed by everything that had happened, which only showed what a good mother Isabella was by not letting anything affect the little boy.

Pedri did his best to ignore the situation, especially since today would be his chance to return to the field, and playing in the first leg of the quarterfinals against PSG required all his focus. He was in the locker room getting ready when his phone beeped; it was a message from Fer.

"Mom and Dad are enchanted with Axel."

It was a video of Axel on Pedri's father's shoulders, dancing happily to the music playing in the stadium.

Pedri smiled at the scene and turned the phone to show Gavi, who was next to him.

"One day we'll have to study the enchantment that Axel and Isa have over you and your family," Gavi said with humor, making Pedri laugh.

"The study would have to include you too, since you spend a lot of time with them," Pedri replied to his friend, who rolled his eyes.

Pedri responded to his brother's message with a red heart emoji and then put the phone away in the locker. It was time.

The match had ended, and Pedri felt his adrenaline pumping. He had returned to play and made an important pass for the equalizing goal. He was bursting with joy for the help he had given his teammates, and when they turned the game around, Pedri couldn’t explain the sense of pride and relief he felt. Even though the advantage wasn’t significant, coming out with this result was very important. He walked toward the stands, where his family and friends were, along with Axel and Isa's father, all with expressions of pride.

"PEDRIII!" Axel was the first to notice the player's approach. He was standing at the divider separating the field, held by Pedri's mother. Pedri hurried because he was sure Axel would invade the field. He hugged the boy and then hugged his parents and brother, quickly greeted his friends, and shook hands with Isa's father, who said he had done very well and was proud. Pedri would tell Gavi about this. The club staff called him, and Pedri quickly took a photo with his family and then headed back to the locker room to reunite with his team.

**********************************************

Isa didn’t consider herself a jealous person. Well, she had her natural motherly jealousy regarding Axel. She had been jealous of Gianna when she entered her father’s life, but that was the concern of a daughter who had been “responsible” for the man for many years, and that soon passed when she fully accepted the woman. But when it came to romantic jealousy, she had never experienced it, not for her teenage boyfriend, and certainly not with Henry. That’s why she found the burning sensation in her stomach strange as she watched the player interacting with the blonde girl who was his guest for the game. Isa was sure the inside of her cheek was bruised from biting it in an attempt to control her reactions and feelings.

"Girl, you're a great actress," Tessa, her coworker, said beside her. Isa shifted her attention from the player and looked at the woman, confused, who rolled her eyes at her. "You were in a third meeting with HR and convinced them there's nothing between you and Pedri," she said as if it were obvious. "But the way you're glaring at the back of that girl's head..." Isa chuckled.

"There's nothing between him and me," Isa shrugged, trying to play it cool. After the game against Paris Saint-Germain at the Parc des Princes, and the photo Pedri's family had posted showing Axel and his father with the player's family, it led to another flood of comments from fans, more threatening messages from Henry, and, of course, another meeting with the team's HR.

"Sure, girl, if you had lasers in your eyes, that girl would be long gone, but of course, there's nothing," Tessa said humorously, patting Isa on the back. "Good luck with your 'nothing's going on,'" she indicated to Pedri with her chin as he was approaching. The player stopped a few centimeters away from her with an ironic smile on his face.

"What?" Isa asked, confused.

"You treated my guest badly," Pedri said humorously.

"No, I didn't!" Isa said defensively. Pedri raised an eyebrow and laughed, and God, Isa felt her heart skip a beat. Damn, he was so handsome.

"Focus, Isabella," she thought.

"You sent her to the booth on the other side of the field," Pedri replied.

"I thought your friends would be in that one," Isa shrugged, trying to appear indifferent.

"You're unbelievable," Pedri said impatiently. "You can't lie to HR for the thousandth time, ignore me, and then act jealous." Isa opened her mouth in exasperation as if she'd been caught committing a crime.

"I'm not jealous!" she said, her voice strained. Pedri laughed again, this time without humor, running his hands through the beard Isa loved.

"Pedri," the high-pitched voice of the blonde calling for the player made Isa roll her eyes and look disgusted.

"You're unbelievable," Pedri said frustratedly as he walked away, going to the girl, and then leaving the private room, to get ready for the home game.

It was unbelievable. Axel was inconsolable after the defeat, crying in Fer's arms. Isa felt her heart break seeing her son in that state, especially since he had experienced the thrill of witnessing Barcelona's first away victory, with an incredible assist from Pedri, which had been the talk of the week. After Araújo's stupid mistake leading to his expulsion, Barcelona became completely destabilized, and despite some players showing grit to try to turn the score around, the defeat was inevitable. The players were inconsolable on the field; what had happened was unbelievable. Isa was called to the field because she had to accompany Xavi's post-match interview. She kissed Axel's forehead and then kissed her father’s, who was sitting with a furious look, having already cursed the tenth generation of both Araújo and Xavi. Isa gave a brief smile to Pedri's parents, with whom she had exchanged a few words as they asked about Axel, and then headed to the press area.

The interview with Xavi had taken longer than expected, which is why, when Isa finished her work, the parking lot was already empty, and most people had left the stadium. The frustration was evident in everyone and everything. Pedri's brother had sent a message saying they were with Axel in the parking lot, waiting for her. Isa felt her heart warm with the quick trust she had developed in the player's family, especially since they had treated Axel so well, and for her, as a mother, that was refreshing. When she arrived at the parking lot, she saw only Pedri standing in front of her car, with Axel in his arms, his head resting on Pedri's shoulder, asleep.

"Hey, where's my dad?" Isa asked softly, not wanting to wake Axel.

"He was in a hurry, and got a ride with my family. Axel wanted to wait for you." Isa nodded.

"Do you need a ride?" Pedri shook his head. Isa could see the frustration all over his face; his eyes were red, indicating he had cried, and Isa felt her heartache. She opened the car door, and Pedri helped her put Axel in the car seat. Isa closed the door, with Pedri between her and the car, and she immediately had a sense of déjà vu.

"Is your friend not coming with us?" she said sarcastically, and from Pedri's look, he understood exactly what she meant.

"She sent me a message saying she left because she felt she was intruding on something," Pedri said, taking the keys from Isa's hand and heading to the driver's seat. Isa remained standing in her place, feeling her heart race fast. The driver's side window rolled down, and Pedri looked at her with an ironic smile. "Aren't you getting in? We are late," she rolls her eyes and heads to the passenger side.

Upon arriving at her father's house, Isa noticed that the player's car was still there. They went inside and headed straight to the backyard, where all the chatter was coming from. Pedri walked ahead with Axel, who was already awake. Isa felt surprised to see that Pedri's parents and brother were still there. His father was by the barbecue, talking with Isa's father, while his mother was at the table, chatting with Gianna as they both cut some vegetables.

"Finally, you guys are here. I couldn't take your eldest son complaining that you abandoned him," Fer said, pointing to Gavi, who was sitting in one of the garden chairs, fiddling with his phone. Gavi showed his middle finger to Pedri's brother.

"Gavi, you can't do that," Axel scolded the player.

"You were cursing the players with all sorts of names, little boy," Isa looked at her father, who raised his hands in surrender.

"I'll let it slide today," Isa shrugged and walked over to Gavi, sitting on the armrest of his chair and hugging him. "How are you?" Isa asked, concerned. She had seen him supporting his teammates on the field, and his disappointment was evident.

"Frustrated and angry for not being on the field to help," he said, irritated.

"It's not your fault, Gavi. I'm sure you would have made a difference, and you'll be back soon. Look at Pedri," Isa said, glancing at the player who had gone to sit next to his mother at the table. He was smiling as he watched Axel and asked questions, which his mother answered patiently.

"I can't wait," Gavi said, pouting. "So... are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Gavi said humorously, and Isa looked at him, puzzled. "You chased away Pedri's guest."

"I didn't chase anyone away," Isa said defensively.

"Not directly, but she felt intimidated, which led to a long speech from my sister," Gavi said, laughing.

"Oh my God," Isa put her hands over her face.

"It's okay, Isa, you don't need to hide it from me," Gavi said with humor. "Not that you're subtle about it; you just don't want to admit it." Isa looked at Gavi, then back at Pedri, who was paying attention to what Axel was saying, even though he was looking tired, and that melted her heart, watching how carefree Axel was with the player's family, and that made her feel a realization.

Because Isa had so much pride in her kid, Axel it wasn't planned, not by her at least, but he becomes her life as he grows. He was the sweetest boy, he was curious, he was funny and he was so smart that it shocked her every time. That's why two things bothered her so much to the point that was starting to make her head dizzy with pain. But she simply couldn't understand how people who wanted him so much, were able to make hell in his life just to hurt her. And why would someone who has no blood relation to her kid, could do exactly the opposite? The scene of Pedri comforting Axel in the car, after she took him from Henry's parents, keeps replaying in her mind, not just that, all the time Axel talks about the things he did with "his friend", and how excited he was about the player. The way the player paid attention to every little thing Axel said, with eyes full of admiration and affection, his eyes sparkled for the woman's son. And that left Isa confused because she understood that look, but she didn't understand how he had it and not Axel's father. Especially when he was the one who insisted on having a baby. Isa met Henry in her first year of college, while he was in the final year of his course, already lined up with a job offer at a big club. Henry was a prince at first, but as soon as he moved and started working, he changed, everything changed, he had constant bouts of jealousy, while at the same time going to clubs and partying with players from his club. When Isa decided enough was enough and wanted to break up, he said the situation was her fault for not moving with him, which led to a proposal where everything would be different, but as the months went by, everything got worse, and once again Henry blamed her, and that's when the pressure started for her to get pregnant because he was ready to be a father. Isa had to drop out of college during her pregnancy because her pregnancy became high-risk due to all the stress she was under because of Henry and his family. At the end of the day, Henry wasn't ready to be a father, and Isa had to endure everything alone. Of course, he boasted about it when everyone congratulated him, but the reality was very different. He barely spent time with Axel, didn't help Isa, and as the little boy grew up, he pushed him away more and more. He didn't smile at the little boy like Isa did, or open his arms to him immediately when he saw the child crawling towards him; he was completely indifferent. Until one day, in one of his jealous fits, he pushed Axel forcefully, and that was the moment for Isa. She pounced on Henry like a lioness. After that day, she filed for divorce and full custody of Axel, and as always, Henry and his family made sure to torment her. Isa tried to ignore the attacks as best she could, following her lawyer's advice, and she did her best to ensure that Axel had the presence of his father and paternal grandparents. But every time Axel spent time with them, he came back completely lifeless, and that broke her heart because Axel was her whole life. So, seeing the bond that Pedri and Axel were forming, seeing the way Pedri's family was treating Axel, and how comfortable Axel was in their presence, filled her heart. Even though deep down she had her natural motherly apprehensions.

"I'll be back soon," she said, getting up and heading outside. It didn't take long for her to hear footsteps behind her.

"Where are you going?" Pedri asked anxiously. Isa turned to look at him and felt her heart skip a beat. Gavi was right; she didn't want to admit to herself what she felt for the player. Since the first time she saw him, she had fears and doubts, but seeing the way he looked at her, the way he looked at Axel... She walked up to the player, closing the distance between them, she held his face, her lips brushing against his.

"Don't play with this, Isabella," Pedri said in a soft but warning tone. "There's no turning back, there wasn't before, but if you permit me now, there will be no turning back. You've consumed my body and mind, and if you do this and then push me away again..." Isa didn't let him finish speaking, and she kissed him. Isa could hear her own heart beating loudly, just like her hand on the player's chest felt how fast his heart was beating. She pulled away to catch her breath, and Pedri turned his gaze away to embrace her, his nose in the woman's neck, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her perfume.

"I need to do something," Isa stepped back, looking at the player who was blushing.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Isa could feel the concern in the player's voice, and Isa smiled.

"Don't worry, Pedri, I won't run away, but it's something I need to do alone." Pedri nodded in understanding.

"Okay, but come back soon," he left a kiss on Isa's lips and hugged her once again. Isa felt her heart full and fulfilled in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. She had never felt so confident to do what she wanted to do at the moment, and knowing that when she returned, Pedri would be waiting for her, along with their family, gave her even greater encouragement.

The End.

**********************************************

N/A: I'm crying, the end would be different, but Isa and Pedri want it in this way... So I just do what they ask me for.... I hope you guys like this, I need to give a pov on Isa feelings, and fears, and give her an insight in her relationship with Henry. Anyway, I'll be back soon with the bonus part.

[girlystories]

L'appel du vide (The call of the void)

— pairings: Henry Bowers + Patrick Hockstetter x female/daughter of a cop/new student reader

Summary: after your parents divorce (because your mom is kinda crazy) you move to your dads hometown, back to Derry, and your cousin richie. Additional warnings: refrences of past child abuse Words: 4.1k

next chapter here

Chapter 1: Back to Derry

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑 slowed down as it stopped at a gas station. The driver's door opened, which caused [Name] to wake up. She raised her head, which was earlier rested on her palm. She blinked her eyes, trying to make out what her father was saying to her. 

"I said, do you want me to get you anything?", he repeated, his hand on the door as he slouched and his head under the car, waiting for her answer. 

"Uh," she slurred her words, yawning as she stretched her arms, a satisfying feeling passing through her body to wake her up while the sun was making it difficult for her to think of what to say. "Just some water please."

Her father gave her a thumbsup before turning around. 

"On second thought, I'm kinda hungry. Can I have a sandwich?", she called out from the rolled down window. 

Her father made his way inside, as [Name] shifted in her seat, her arms laying comfortable under her head. She sighed as she stared out the window, not focusing on anything in particular, yet caughting a glimpse of a man filling his car. 

She and her father we're making their way to Derry, Maine, back to their relatives. Despite feeling excited to see her cousin again, she didn't really approve on moving so suddenly. She would miss her friends, her school – heck, even the grumpy teachers and lousy neighbours. 

There was no way of changing her dad's mind, however, since he was so eager to start a new life. She couldn't blame him, though. She and the poor guy couldn't handle the decrease in her mother's sanity any longer. She only grew worse day by day, and it was final once she laid hands on her. Her eyes were unrecognizable, wide and furiously red, as she had her fingers wrapped around [Name]'s throat, squeezing it tight with demise. 

Luckily, she was shoved back and restrained by her father, who later called the police on her and she was taken into court when found out she was abusing drugs, finally filling a divorce and in the end she was send to an asylum. 

This made [Name] wonder if that woman even loved her in the first place. As she thought about it more overtime, she recalled the times her mother gave her the cold shoulder, or the nasty remarks she hissed – tasting like venom on her tensed dry lips. The glaring looks she gave her, feeling like piercing needles ready to strike. 

[Name] instantly wiped some tears that were forming on her eyes, placing a smile on her face as her dad made his way back, bringing with him the stuff he bought. 

He closed the door as he sat on the driver's seat, holding the bag for [Name] to take. "As you ordered, madam. Sandwich and a bottle of water," he teased. 

She chuckled. "Oh, why thank you, kind sir," she said before taking a big bite of the chicken sandwich. "Man, I'm so hungry."

"Well, you should've prepared some food from home for the ride," he said, taking a cigarette out of his new pack, placing it on his lips, and turning the engine back on – which roared back alive, going backwards and on the road back to Derry. "I told you in the morning but you ignored me." 

She rolled her eyes, not in the mood for bickering at the moment, instead changing the question. "So like, you gonna be working as a cop at Derry now?" 

"Policeman, not a cop, [Name]. And yes, I've taken care of it on the phone," his eyes were focused on the road, taking a turn. "A guy of mine was kind enough to brag about my services back home."

[Name] hummed, not particularly interested in listening to the conversation, instead taking a moment to appreciate her hunger decreasing, savoring the chicken in contrast with the sauce and the variety of spices. 

She looked out the window, trees passing as they were now driving through the dirt road. The wind blew through her hair, a breeze filling the car. 

Her father remained silent for a moment and he sighed. "Listen, sweetheart, I know it's hard for you moving away and all but I'm sure you'll have a great time there and settle down nicely," he smiled as he recalled memories of his hometown. "Besides, you'll catch up with little Richie again." 

"Well, I'm sure he's not little anymore. How many years has it been? Like five, six?", she tried to count, licking her fingers in doing so. "How old is that little prick now anyway?"

"[Name], watch your language please," her father said and she giggled in response. "I think he's about thirteen or twelve. Three years younger than you." 

"I'm sixteen, dad." 

"Thirteen then." 

"Oh my god, dad. Did you really not remember the age of your own daughter?" 

He lifted his fingers holding the lighted cigarette off the wheel in defense. "No, I didn't forget your age, honey. I'm just, really tired at the moment." 

She shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, right."

"I mean it." 

"Whatever you say can't save you now, dad." 

He chuckled. "Really now?"

"Yes," she replied blankly, now finishing her sandwich. 

   Finally arriving, she took out one of her earplugs and pausing her music, raised her head to look around her new "home". Crippled narrow roads filled with puddles, with short trees that looked hardly standing by the constant floods and hurricanes. She almost cringed at the almost rundown looking buildings. 

What eased her nerves were the stores here and there, them being: Brew & Chew Café, Doughy Delights Pizzeria, and Smile N’ Delight. Her eyes also caught a glimpse of the arcade, and she was sure Richie would probably spend his time there, playing aimlessly like his life depended on it. Not like she planned on going there, but still. It proved the existence that people lived there and it wasn't as deserted as it seemed. 

"Are we there?" 

"Sure are," he answered, searching for his sisters house. He smiled, "nothing has changed a bit."

"We haven't been gone that much for anything to change. I mean who even comes here anymore?"

Her father ignored her remark, taking a turn and slowing down as they reached that all familiar house [Name] hang out to when she was younger. They came to a stop and he got out of the car, while [Name] did the same, yet not so eager. 

"Wentworth! How long has it been?", her father said as the front door opened, her uncle grabbing his palm and patting him on the back. 

"You tell me," her uncle replied. "You were the one who decided to move out." 

He chuckled. "Well, [Mother Name] wouldn't stop pressuring me and all. You know how she was." 

This made [Name]'s aunt's smile fade, feeling somehow remorseful. "Ah, I'm so sorry about that, [Father Name]... We couldn't believe it when you told us all about it on the phone," her eyes looked at [Name], making her smile widely, her eyes wrinkling at the sides as they widened. She exclaimed and she walked over to her with raised arms, squeezing her cheeks which made [Name] groan slightly. Yet she didn't mind it much, always appreciating her aunt's weird ways of affection. 

"Little [Name]! Ah, I can't believe how much you've grown. You're basically a lady now!", she noted, placing her palms on her shoulders and taking a better look at her, taking her time to "fix" her shirt and hair. 

[Name] chuckled awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. "Hey, missed you too, Aunt Maggie. Uh, is Richie home?" 

"Oh, yes," she turned around, "Richie, get your ass here!"

After a few annoyed grumbles, a boy with dark hair came down the stairs. [Name] noted his increase in height and glasses who seemed to be thicker than how she remembered, making his eyes appear way bigger. He still had a couple of freckles drawn on his slighty chubby cheeks – even though he had a relatively slim figure. She threw an arm over his shoulder, snickering at his annoyance and trying to get off her hold.

"How's my little blabbermouth been?", she remarked and forced him into a hug. He groaned in response, mostly by the nickname but returning the hug happily. 

"You haven't changed a bit, asswipe," he replied with the same tone. Still, his grip tightened around her. "You were still missed, though. As much as I hate to admit it." 

That made her smile, and she let go of him, "Aw," she cooed. "I'm flattered, but it's very much expected," she replied proudly. 

"Ha ha," Richie stated, his tone linked full of sarcasm. "Just make sure you stay this time," he scoffed, "I remember when you had to leave last time you were crying your eyes out. Your nose was full of snot and stuff. Gross." 

[Name] narrowed her eyes, raising her brow. "That's not true. I don't ever recall that happening."

"Well, I do," he rolled his wide eyes behind his thick square glasses, smirking. "Right, mom?" 

"Huh? What did you say, sweetie?", she asked, not listening to him in the slightest, too absorbed in the conversation with her husband and brother. 

"Nevermind," Richie rumbled. "Say, you wanna join me and my friends? Oh – I forgot to mention – remember Bill? Well, we are now in a group with two other guys and we call ourselves The Losers Club, and it's freaking awesome!" 

[Name] couldn't help but laugh. "The Losers Club? That sounds... pretty lame." 

"That's the point, genius," he rolled his eyes again. "The thing is, you gotta join us, we always have so much fun and stuff." 

"Maybe another time, kiddo. I'm pretty tired and I gotta start unpacking and I need get ready for school tomorrow. I've missed enough as it is."

Richie groaned. "Fineee. But you will come with us one day, I'm telling you." 

[Name] ruffled his hair. "Okay okay, I get it!" 

"Augh! Not the hair, man! Not cool", he tried to push her hand away, but to no avail as she wrapped an arm around his neck and continued in forcefully ruining his curly locks. 

 

   The next day [Name] was woken up but her father, completely ignoring her alarm clock at 6:30 am. She groaned and placed a pillow over her head, trying to block out her father's cheery but annoying voice through the kitchen. 

She had to get up, though, when her father made his way into her bedroom and forcefully throwing the covers off her – much to her dismay. She raised her upper body, holding her weight with her elbows. Her eyes were puffy and red, a trail of drool beginning from her bottom lip and ending at her chin. A sight Richie would definitely make fun of, but he was in the same spot, as her dad did the same, but instead chose to grab Richie and spin him around, just like the way parents played with their month-old babies. 

Richie – fully confused, and instead of cheering like a baby would – almost shrieked, his legs swaying back and forth, looking for a sturdy ground to balance himself and his arms trying to get a tight grip on his uncle. Without wearing his glasses, he wasn't able to see clearly, screaming: "What the hell is going on?!" 

[Name]'s dad, not reducing his speed in the slightest, continued, "Wake up, big guy! You're gonna miss school!" 

Richie, steadying his breath, replied, "Okay okay, I get it! Just get me down! For the love of—" 

Just as he requested, his uncle complied, a satisfied smile on his features. He slapped his nephew's back lightly. "Come to the kitchen quick. I've prepared breakfast." 

[Name] still in her bed – but not daring to lay back down, (in fear of her dad shaking her awake again) stared blankly at the wall, ignoring the commotion from Richie's room completely. She rubbed her half closed eyes, and dragged herself out of bed, choosing a simple and convenient outfit for the day, since her stuff and wardrobe hadn't been delivered in their new home fully yet. She grabbed her almost empty backpack, which contained only her pencil case and a couple of notebooks, and she slowly made her way to the kitchen, dropping on her seat feeling like a zombie. She tried to rest her heavy head on her palm, yet it fell on the table sharply. 

"Ah ah," her father scolded. "Wake up, sweetie. It's your first day today." 

She groaned in response. 

"I'll give you a ride to school, so eat quick. I have work to get to," he explained further, flipping an egg from the pan. 

"I'm sorry but how can you be so excited so early in the morning, uncle? I mean, no offense," Richie asked from the table, rubbing his glasses with his shirt. He turned to [Name], "is he always like this?" 

She grabbed a toast from the table, which was applied with butter smoothly, and took a bite, her eyes still half closed. "Yes."

"Damn."

   After a quick – and not so satisfying breakfast, Mr. [Last Name] gave the both a ride and went to work. For the first time Richie wasn't late. A rare occurance, mainly because he took ages to get ready but also because both his parents weren't able to drive him to school because of work. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, asswipe," Richie held up his palm for a high-five. [Name] looked at him unfazed, almost rolling her eyes, clearly not in the mood so early in the morning. Still, she didn't leave him hanging and groaned under her breath. 

"Remember, don't steal food from the cafeteria."

"Don't you mean, don't do drugs – or something?" 

[Name] walked pass him, pushing her body on the school's front entrance. "Whate—", before she could finish, she felt a heavy force colliding against her. She yelped in response, being shoved backwards.

The person groaned in annoyance, also surprised by the sudden force. "What the fu—", the voice suddenly paused. [Name] took a moment to study the person. He was tall, his blonde hair messily styled in a mullet. His blue eyes were staring back at her, also studying her. His seemengly muscular built wasn't as apparent under his t-shirt which was being covered under his denim jacket, his sleeves being pushed high above his elbows. It was more of a fashion choice than an affect to keep warm in the cold weather of October. 

She didn't know how long they kept eye contact, but it came to a stop as his features furrowed, pursing his lips. He shoved pass her, his shoulder bumping into hers while he mumbled under his breath: "Get outta my way." 

She scoffed in response, raising a brow and walking into the halls, Richie following quickly behind her. "Oh my god," he gasped. 

"What?", she questioned, looking around for the principal's office. 

"You just ran into Henry Bowers!", he explained. 

"I didn't ran into him. More like he bumped into me." 

He quickly shook his head. "That's not the point, dumbass," he walked in front of her, making her stop in her tracks to get her attention. "The point is that he and his lovely little friends have been making our lives hell for how many years now. I'm honestly surprised he didn't murder you just now."

"He what?", [Name] asked, her eyes finally widening since this morning. 

"Yeah," Richie said, beginning to walk again with her by his side, passing the other students in the halls as they chatted among themselves. "They're all complete psychos."

"How did you say his name was? Henry Bowers, was it?", she asked and slowed down when she noticed the principal's office in the corner. "Where have I heard of it before?" 

"Man, I don't know. But I'm telling you. Just don't make him mad. Ever." 

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it, big guy," she said, shifting her backpack as the school bell rang. She made herself a new goal for the year. 

Richie raised a brow. "What do you mean? I don't like that look," he noted. 

"Just, go to class, okay? I'll see you guys later," she shoved him softly, and he stumbled a bit, glancing back at her with a bit of worry, but made his way to class. 

She didn't know how and why that guy seemed so familiar to her, but she didn't care either. No one is allowed to make fun of her cousin. No one. Except maybe her, but they were family. It's understandable. But him? Who did he think he is? 

She decided to keep an eye on him and his stupid mullet. 

[Name] was about to knock the open door but stopped when she saw a lanky guy staring at the principal blankly, his mind wandering off and not paying the slightest attention to him. The principal sighed, his hand waved towards the door, dismissing him as he finished, "that's about it. If you and Bowers get send here one more time, I'll have to take drasting measures. You'll get a pass this time. Mainly because it's your first time, Hockstetter. Now get your ass to class." 

The guy in question – Hockstetter, as he was mentioned – fixed his posture at the statement, the corners of his mouth forming into a smile. He left without question, his grey-green eyes meeting [Name]'s as he walked pass the door, twinkling with curiosity. She swore she saw him lick his bottom lip just as he left. 

"And make sure Bowers actually goes to class this time!", the principal shouted and [Name] wondered if his orders even reached the guy's ears. 

So this guy is one Richie's bullies, [Name] noted. 

She decided to keep that in mind later as she walked inside. The principal held the bridge of his nose, sighing. When he noticed her, he grasped his hands together as he tried to recall her name. He remained with only parted lips as he failed in figuring out who she was. 

"Hello, Mr – uh," she trailed off, trying to remember his name that her dad mentioned on the ride. "Mr. Corbin, I'm the new student. I think my father spoke to you on the phone." 

His features softened, bringing a hand on his grey and combed hair. "Ah, yes! Mr. [Last Name], I believe. Yes, I've got your schedule prepared right here," he said, rolling back with his chair and opening his drawer, taking out a paper and handing it to [Name]. "It was pretty much a hassle trying to sort your lessons, since you arrived a bit later, but eventually we managed."

She whispered a soft "Sorry" in response. 

"How very nice for us to welcome a new student. I hope you like it here. Ah, did you move here recently, miss [Last Name]?" 

She quickly skimmed over her schedule, and looked back at Mr. Corbin. "Yes. Yesterday actually."

"I see," he replied, fixing his mustache. "Well, I hope you settle down nicely. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to finish," he rolled on his chair forward, placing his hands together once again. "If you need any help, don't be afraid to come to my office."

[Name] smiled at him. "Thank you so much, Mr. Corbin," she said and walked out, looking over her schedule. She hummed, feeling not so glum about it, only groaning when she saw she had to chose an extracurricular, but also hoping there were good options to chose from at the very least. She noticed a note, written roughly with a pen; locker: 74. 

She made her own inner note to check it out later. 

Now, she hurried herself to her first period, being World History. It took her while to find the class, and she was sure she'd get some nagging from the teacher. She hesitantly knocked on the door and slowly opened it. Peeking over the gap, she noticed all the students attention being on her. She stepped inside, clearing her throat. 

"Sorry I'm late, Mr –", she looked at her schedule, "Mr. Okley." 

Mr. Okley stopped writing on the board, turning his focus on her. "It's okay, I suppose," his voice indicated his boredom which were proved by his uninterested expression. "You're the new student, yes?"

She nodded. "Yes, my name is [Name] [Last Name]."

His face brightened, his blank expression being replaced by a small smile. "Ah, [Last Name]? I know your father. We used to be classmates together. Really funny fellow, I tell you," he chuckled. "Make sure to tell him I say hi, alright?" 

[Name] smiled, trying to ignore people's stares. "I will."

"We're on page forty-three. You can take a seat over there," he pointed at an empty seat next to the window. 

"I don't have a book."

"Right," he hummed, looking around his desk for a spare book. "I can't seem to find one right now. Just sit next to Victor for now and come by my office later."

The guy in question raised his head from his palm, being shaken out of his thoughts. [Name] dragged a chair and sat next to him, who scooted to the side to make some some space for the both. 

She held her hands close, feeling awkward by the closeness between them. But she tried her best to ignore it, taking notes when she thought was necessary. 

As she wrote, her pall pen started leaving less and less ink. She pressed harder, but the pen refused to work, as if it suddenly decided to go against her. 

"Shit," she cursed under her breath. She turned to Victor, who had his undoubted attention on Mr. Okley who explained about the Rise of Rome. 

"Do you have an extra pen?"

His attention was disturbed again. He shifted in his seat, blinking like he was just woken up. "Oh, yeah," he searched his bag and held one for her. 

"Thanks," she took it, smiling warmly at him. 

"So, why the sudden change or schools?", he asked. 

"Oh, you know. The usual reasons," she wrote on her notebook, testing if it worked. It was an obvious attempt of her deflecting the question. 

Victor didn't attemt to pressure her in saying anymore, turning his attention back at the lesson. 

The bell rang indicating the end of the lesson. All the students gathered their things, chatting among themselves as they made their way outside. 

Just as [Name] was about to do the same Mr. Okley called her. 

"Wait here for a moment, I'll go and fetch your book, alright?"

With that she waited, watching the classroom becoming less and less crowded. Her mind started wondering along, when she was being shoved forward. Her shoulder bumping with an all too familiar muscular one, snickering as he made his way towards Victor. Two others followed, passing her like she was nonexistent. 

Her face soured. 

Henry and Hockstetter loud vocals filled the room, shooting at Victor about who knows what. [Name] was unable to identify the other figure. He was the most noticeable large one of the group. 

With the realization that Victor was in their little group, it made the girl's disappointment more visible. 

Mr. Okley came back, holding a thick book. "This is it," he opened it, flipping through the pages. "We've covered all of these. Make sure to study them until next week. We'll be having an exam on Monday."

She scrunched her nose, which didn't go unnoticed. 

"Now now, it's not too much," he chuckled at her reaction. "It has very vague information and it's pretty easy to grasp. I'm sure you can do it."

She wasn't convinced and he continued. "If it's too much for you, then I'll guess I could give you an extra week."

"Really?"

He winked. "Just don't tell anyone," he waved his hands. "Now, run along!"

She chuckled and scooted over the door, but stopped when she remembered something. She glanced over at her classmate by the window, being surrounded by the mullet asshole and the creepy lanky guy – and the guy she couldn't recognize. He was frowning at his friends, telling them to "shut up" while they joked around. 

She sighed under her breath and turned her heel, walking over to him. She looked to the ground, avoiding their gazes as she came closer. 

"You, uh, forgot your pen," she held it out for him, only locking eyes with his as he stopped his bickering. Their laughs also came to a stop, observing her from head to toe. 

He took it, and before he could answer she swung around, storming out of the classroom. Her chest was bounding and her breath was shaky. 

She meet the Bower Gang on her first day and managed to survive.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Got Me Thinking

Part 1: Butterflies

Synopsis: a reunion that is well overdue makes your heart flutter once you lay eyes on your first love in more than ten years and the feelings that you thought were long gone come rushing back

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Sighing to yourself, you quickly pulled out your phone and started looking for plane tickets to head back home to Louisville. It had been a little while since you had been back, but your biggest reason for going was to get away from him.

Him being your husband, Xavier.

The two of you had been married for only three years, but you were over it. You had come to the realization that the person you married was long gone and that there really was no hope left. The less that you were around him, the better.

You knew he was cheating on you and you recently discovered that he had gotten another woman pregnant and that she was due in less than a month.

He had no idea that you knew all of that information and since you found out, you had just been biding your time and had since opened up another bank account to save money in order to plan to get away from him.

The goal was to move back to Louisville so that you could be closer to your parents and siblings who stayed there while you were the only one that left.

Booking your flight, you closed your phone to begin packing since you would literally be leaving within the next few hours. At this point, you were desperate and longing for a peaceful environment.

You knew that he wouldn't ask any questions about where you were and it seemed as if it had gotten to the point where the two of you were simply roommates and you were completely okay with that.

It had been almost a week since you had seen him anyway.

A quick text was sent to your mom to let her know to expect you around midnight and she quickly responded back in excitement.

The plan was to divorce him by the end of this year because then you would have more than enough money to live off of for the time being once you moved back. Truth be told, you had enough money now, being a CRNA had its perks and it helped that you lived in California which had the highest pay for nurses because of the cost of living. Moving to Louisville would definitely be a pay cut, however you didn't even care. You just wanted to get away from him.

–

When you had finally touched down in Louisville at midnight, you told your mom not to worry about getting you from the airport but she insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer.

Once you slid into the passenger seat of her car after throwing your suitcase in the back, she immediately eyed you which made a sigh escape from your lips.

“Hi to you too, mother.”

“I'm just waiting until the divorce is finalized so that I can throw you a party.” She said while following behind the other cars headed towards the highway.

“By the end of the year. I told you that already.”

“But what are we waiting for? Anything that you need, you know me and your dad will support you until you get settled back here in Louisville. He is a piece of shit and I'm tired of him treating my daughter as if she isn't the best thing to happen to his ungrateful ass.”

“He wasn't always like this.”

“I know because if he was, ain't no way in hell he would have gotten my approval to marry you.” Your mother replied with her voice slightly raised and you simply sighed.

“You deserve so much more and it is hard seeing my youngest child so unhappy all the time. So, I'm just going to say it.”

“MOM!” You replied turning to her with wide eyes because you knew what was going to happen next and what she was going to say because she said it every single time that you talked to her on the phone or facetime.

“Jack wouldn't have treated you like this.”

“Will you ever let that go? We broke up more than 10 years ago! It was a mutual decision!”

“Well it needs to be a mutual decision for yall asses to get back together. Jack is the only son-in-law that I'm going to acknowledge at this point and I am waiting for the proposal. See? It's meant to be. I don't like his wife and I don't like your husband. There, that settles it.”

Any time that someone mentioned Jack, your heart immediately began to race and the butterflies in your stomach increased tenfold.

The two of you decided to end your relationship after dating from your freshman year in high school all the way up until senior year. It wasn't because either of you wanted to, it just was what was best. You were going to nursing school and Jack was trying to become a rapper and get a record deal and move to Atlanta. When you sat down and thought about it, the two of you could have made it work, but the last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he was being held back by you in any shape or form.

You saw how successful he was and was proud of him and never counted him out for a minute despite what people were saying around the two of you.

“Wait, pause. When did he get married?!”

“Talk about a delayed reaction. But it only happened about ten months ago. You and Xavier were umm… starting to have your issues so I didn't mention it. I met her when I went to meet Maggie for lunch and she gave me… What's that word yall use now? The ick. And in not so many words when Maggie and I went to lunch, she told me she didn't like her either and that he should have married you. Jack even LOOKS unhappy. But you didn't hear that from me. Do what you want with that information. I mean you could always go over to Maggie and Brian's. It seems like he's always there and never at home. I wouldn't be at home either with someone like that.”

“Mom! Quit it. I am here to…”

“Get away from your cheating ass husband who is also about to have a baby on you? Go and get the man who has wanted you since you were fourteen.”

All you did was sigh because you knew deep down that your mother was right. But, you still had hesitations in the back of your mind. You highly doubt that Jack still felt the same about you all these years later. Besides, he had a whole wife and you could admit that your mother could be extra dramatic at times, so why would he marry her if he didn't even like her?

“Okay, changing the subject. What do you want to eat when we get home?”

“Mom, it's one in the morning.”

“So? What time do stomachs open?”

–

Later on in the day when you had gotten some much needed sleep, you had a craving for some Italian food and decided to go to a restaurant not too far from your parents’ house and get your order to go. Your all time favorite, Vincenzo's.

In order to make it so no one in your house had to cook dinner, you took it upon yourself to get something for everyone. You had already placed your order and was waiting for it as you were scrolling on your phone, when suddenly you heard someone call your name from behind.

“Y/N?”

Once you looked up and turned around, you came face to face with no one other than Jack's younger brother Clay. Who you hadn't seen since you left Louisville to go to nursing school.

“Well look who it is and who is all grown up. Hi, Clay.” You responded while giving him a hug. You remember him wanting to be just like Jack and would want to follow him around everywhere.

“Just visiting or moving back like your parents want?” He asked and all you could do was roll your eyes because you knew your mom would tell anyone who would listen.

“Oh, so she's literally made it known to everyone that they want me to move back, but just visiting for right now. Had a taste for some Italian so here I am.”

“What are you doing tonight? Are you busy by any chance?” Clay asked, catching you off guard. Your only plans were to drink wine and watch tv until you passed out for exhaustion.

You simply shook your head no towards him.

“Well, it's Jack’s birthday and we’re throwing a surprise party for him and Urban. You should come. I know he would be happy to see you.”

You didn't even realize that it was in fact March 13th.

“Clay, I don't know. We haven't seen each other in over ten years.”

“All the more reason to come. Just…. trust me on this. He would want you there and I won't get knocked upside the head for his gift not being here on time and I'll just say that you're the gift.” All you did was laugh and shake your head.

It wouldn't totally be a bad thing to see him, but what would you say when you did?

The butterflies were erupting in your stomach again and you looked back up at Clay before you talked yourself out of it.

“What time and where is it?”

—

Your older sister, Janelle was currently with you in your childhood bedroom helping you decide what to wear and of course she was picking out the more revealing outfits while you were simply trying to be modest.

“Put them titties on display! Show him what he’s been missing!” She yelled and you simply looked at her and rolled your eyes.

“You are literally the worst and I should have asked Jeremiah.”

“Should have asked me what?” Your older brother and the middle child, Jeremiah asked as he popped his head into your room.

“What the? Since when do you live here?” You asked, confused by his sudden appearance.

“Well damn, I can’t come and see my baby sister when she’s here anymore? And besides, Janelle texted me and said you were going to a certain ex’s birthday party. So, I needed to find out the details and especially when the wedding date is.”

“Because Janelle cannot keep her mouth shut to save her life and yes I am. And wait a minute, WEDDING DATE? You two are just as insane as our mother.”

“She won’t dress slutty though as I’m suggesting.” Janelle said while rolling her eyes at you.

“You want my ass and boobs out like I’m not going to freeze.”

“Hoes don’t get cold.” She fired back, but you quickly gave it right back to her.

“I’m anemic.”

“You know you’ve always been it for him. I mean my baby sister is the shit and he let you get away and is now married to… umm…. Someone that is not on his level.” Jeremiah said as he went over to your vanity to pick out jewelry that you would wear despite you not having an outfit.

Jeremiah was definitely the fashionista out of the three of you and you knew for a fact if he wasn’t an orthopedic surgeon that he would definitely be doing big things in the fashion industry.

“So, all of you have met her?!”

“And it was not a pleasant experience and one that had left a good first impression.”

Janelle got up to rummage through your suitcase and found a black halter top that she paired with tan cargo pants and proceeded to throw your New Balance 550’s at you that matched.

“Here, go put this on. Your boobs are going to be spilling out the top in this.”

“Did I ever tell you two how much you both get on my nerves?”

“All the time, but it’s a good thing that we don’t care. Now it’s time to catch us a man.”

“He’s married.”

“And so are you. And both of you are miserable. Hurry up and make this happen, we have a wedding to plan.”

It was now 8 PM and you were sitting in the passenger’s seat of Clay’s car and the two of you were headed to where the surprise party was going to be held and he noticed how much you kept fidgeting.

“Y/N, it’s going to be fine. I know he misses you even if he doesn’t want to admit it at times. He is always asking our mom if she had talked to your mom lately and always asked how you were doing.”

“Really?”

All Clay did was nod his head as he slowed down to a complete stop at the red light in the intersection.

“Look, I… know he probably doesn’t want you to know this, but I’m telling you anyway.”

“Tell me what?” Now you could feel your heart rate speeding up.

“When he found out that you were married that broke him even though he was trying to put up a front and now he probably won’t admit it if someone asked him. He has never moved on from you.”

“Clay…. He’s married so, obviously he did move on.”

“Hmm, if you could call it that.” He responded while snorting and trying to find a place to park so that the two of you could head inside.

“Wait, what?”

“You know from the start that we were always rooting for you two to be together. Even our parents were.”

“Clay, I did not come here to break up a marriage.”

“I… it’s already broken despite it not even being an entire year yet, but you didn’t hear that from me. But Jack has to see it for himself. Anyway, we’re here. And if nothing else tonight puts a smile on his face, I know you will when he sees you. His wife might show up, she might not… she’s a piece of work.”

“All of you give me entirely too much credit. I am nothing special.”

“Ask Jack if he feels the same way and I guarantee that he’s going to say that you are.”

The two of you walked in and Clay had mentioned that Jack and Urban were going to be there within the next ten minutes and now your butterflies were starting all over again as they erupted once more in your stomach.

When PG saw you, you were placed into bone crushing hugs and it was expressed how much you had been missed around Louisville, especially from Jack and that once he laid eyes on you that it would be a done deal.

Clay told you to hide to the side in the back corner as PG was in front of you so that when Jack walked in, he wouldn’t be able to see you until everyone moved out of the way. He planned on everyone screaming ‘surprise’ when both of them walked in and then telling him that he wanted to start the party off right by showing him a gift that he had been patiently waiting for, and that gift was you.

It was now quiet in the room that the party was taking place and the lights had been shut off and you heard Jack and Urban mumbling to each other while trying to find the light switch. Once they did, everyone screamed ‘surprise!’ and the two of them were all smiles.

This was the first time that you had laid eyes on Jack in person in more than ten years and the butterflies erupted once more. He looked so good and it felt that your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

Clay had walked over towards him to give him a hug and then whispered in his ear and you were assuming that he was telling him about the so-called “gift” and the two of them started to walk towards where you were casually standing behind Ace and 2fo.

“I know that this will probably be your most favorite birthday gift that I’ve ever gotten you.” You heard Clay say and you simply smirked and laughed to yourself.

“Hmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” You heard him answer and it was now go time.

“Okay, Ace and 2fo, move out of the way so that he can see his surprise. I made this happen by the way, just so you know.” Clay said and Jack immediately rolled his eyes before laughing.

Once Ace and 2fo moved, Jack came face to face with you and it seemed to be speechless and it was as if he couldn’t believe that you were standing in front of him.

“Happy thirtieth birthday, Jackman, or should I say Jackson? Did you miss me?”

[ohtobeleah]

for #PL1 can you please do some jake seresin fluff with 15 18 👀💗 also congratulations on reaching the milestone!!!! u deserve it sm ♥️♥️

15 - “She’s/he’s not my boyfriend!”

18 - “I think it’s adorable how easily you blush.”

Okay what else do we need?” You asked your daughter as you strolled the isles of the grocery stores looking at your list as you both did this week's weekly shopping haul. 

“Aunty Nix said we need plums—“ Isabella reminded you politely as she held onto the side of the shopping cart. “And washing powder, because Rooster broke the glass jar, remember?” Neither of those items were on your list—but both items you needed. 

“Okay, you go get the plums for me and I’ll grab some ham for your sandwiches alright?” You watched as your seven year old nodded and let go for the shopping cart. “Okay, grab about eight? And watch out for bruises okay.” 

“I got it mum!” Izzy called out as you chuckled softly and watched her make her way through the fresh produce section as you strolled over towards the deli and took a number. 

You and your daughter had moved to Fightertown for a few months after you and your husband finally settled your divorce. You were still looking for a place to settle into so you were currently living with your half sister Natasha. From your mom's second marriage. Seems as though you were following in her footsteps when it came to love.

For a while it was just you and Izzy—but then you finally met the one and only Jake Hangman Seresin. To be quite honest Natasha was purposefully trying to keep you and Jake from meeting as long as she could. She knew once he’d met you it was game over, he’d weasel his way into your life on a more permanent basis eventually. 

And that’s exactly what Jake was trying to do. 

“Hi there Izzy girl.” Jake beamed as he ran into your daughter by the plums in the fresh produce section of the grocery store. “Stone fruit season is pretty good isn’t it?” 

“I guess, whatever the hell that means?” Izzy shrugged, focusing on picking out the best of the bunch. Jake just chuckled out his nose as he looked around, trying to see if he could spot you.

“Where’s your mum?” Jake asked as he picked up a quarter of a watermelon and placed it in his basket. Izzy just pointed in the general direction of the deli. Jake followed your daughter's trajectory and soon enough he felt the heat rising in the apples of his cheeks as he caught the sight of you. “Ah, hey—do me a favour will you and say this to your mum when you go over to her.” 

Jake crouched to whisper in your daughter's ear and she giggled. She knew you liked Jake and that Jake liked you. She saw the way he looked at you like you were some sort of goddess who walked amongst mere mortal beings. Bradley looked at her Aunty Nix the same way and they were engaged, surely it had to mean something right? 

Izzy knew that Jake really liked you because she couldn’t ever remember a time when she’d seen her dad look at you the way Jake does. 

“Child labour is a real thing you know.” Izzy sighed as she turned all her attention to Jake, he absolutely adored your daughter. She was so vibrant and witty and kept everyone around her on their toes. “What’s in it for me?” Izzy asked as she kept Jake's stare, just waiting for him to fold. 

“Five bucks—“ Izzy contemplated Jake's offer for a few seconds before she politely accepted the transaction. She could buy a few lollipops with five dollars. What a score. “Go.” Tussling Izzy’s hair, Jake grinned as she laughed organically. “Before I call child protective services on your mother for letting you out of her sight.”

Isabella took off without much to add with her bag of plums in her hand and a cheeky grin smeared across her face as she ran back toward where you’d just ordered two handfuls of shaved ham off the bone. 

“I'm back.” She exclaimed as she held up the bag of fruit. “I ran into your boyfriend too.” Izzy laughed as she watched your eyes widen in shock horror at what she’d just said. “He said to tell you that he thinks you’re really pretty mommy.” 

Looking around the fresh produce section, your eyes scanned every square foot before they landed on none other than Jake Seresin. Immediately you felt yourself getting hot with embarrassment, 

“He’s not my boyfriend honey.” You tried to play it cool as Jake made his way over, ever so casually placing a gentle kiss to the warmth of your cheek. It made you melt into a puddle at his forwardness. The feeling of Jake's large hand splayed across the small of your back made your heart do leaps inside your chest. “Hi Hangman—“ 

“Hi mama, fancy seeing you here on a Sunday morning?” Jake cooed, his signature smile plastered across his perfect face. You’d only just made it back to your sister’s place this morning before Izzy was waking up, you’d stayed the night at Jake’s after dinner at Alfonso’s diner. 

“Just doing the weekly shop—“ You replied as Izzy watched the two of you interact, watching a live story play out before her very eyes. “What about you, Flyboy?” 

“Same thing, maybe we could carpool next week? Save on gas?” Jake teased as he watched you try and calm down, still flustered to the highest heaven after your daughter had referred to Jake as your boyfriend. “Oh you should see your face Y/n, I think it’s adorable how easily you blush.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Leah’s 4K celebration 🎊

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[ceaselessims]

octavia and stolas's future conversation is probably going to kill me

i think Octavia is such an interesting character because she reminds me so much of my younger self. I think her line in the trailer is probably going to be a scene that resonates with me to an uncomfortable degree because of my relationship with my mom.

My parents never fight, but i know the teenage pain of feeling like your parents don't make time to truly understand you as a person and only love you out of obligation, whether that's true or not. The feeling that your parent only tolerates you to gain something or because they "have to" is invasive.

I saw someone say that her line needs more work in the story to feel "earned" but i think it's perfectly reasonable for Octavia to feel that way. She can acknowledge that her dad is doing his best AND still feel like she is an afterthought to him. Learning that your parents have flaws SUCKS and sometimes that feels like they never cared about you.

I'm sure there will be a lot of build up and i'm thinking that maybe the build up will be stolas agreeing to banishment or something in order to be with blitz, and Octavia will read this as a complete abandonment of her, bc honestly what else is she supposed to think?

In the episodes that she has been central to, Stolas has been explicit and partial to Blitz IN FRONT OF HER. He does not hide his affair with Blitz, which makes Octavia visibly uncomfortable in all of the Loo Loo Land scenes. Not to mention that in Seeing Stars, it's not lost on her that Loona is the one to find her while her dad is (again) with Blitz after he forgot a date that was important (from her pov) to their relationship. She forgives him in the moment for that episode, but it could be another factor.

We, the audience, know that Stolas would do anything for Octavia, that he genuinely loves and cherishes her, but Octavia does not know that. Octavia left with Stella on the weekends even before the divorce was officially in motion, and i wouldn't be surprised if later in the season we find out that Octavia has been living with Stella since/or soon after Seeing Stars (since Stolas had an assassination attempt.)

From her perspective he has been distant with her, openly hostile to her mother, and openly having affair with Blitz (there can maybe be a little bit of classism in there from the fact that she might find stolas's affair with blitz is especially scandalous bc blitz is an imp/lower class as well but that's a whole other thing.) If you were a child who was already feeling insecure and emotionally neglected, if it came out that your dad was going to chose to run away with his affair partner, that would probably fucking SUCK !! it would fucking KILL ... and Octavia will probably think that she is the problem, that she is not worth staying for.

All this to say, Octavia, my girl, i will probably cry when you cuss your dad out in front of the entire goetia court :-)

[anon-imuz]

Yandere Jotaro X ex girlfriend mother of Jolyne reader

okay okay sorry for making you wait so much anon 😔😔

Pairing: Yandere! Jotaro Kujo x Ex girlfriend! Jolyne's mother! Reader

Warnings: Yandere behavior, threatening

Type:Angst

Notes: I DONT SUPPORT any warning listed above, this is fiction. English isn't my first language so there might be some spelling mistakes. hope you enjoy :))

On your way back from home, it was rainy and foggy so you drove carefully, safely arriving to your home and running inside.

You weren't feeling particularly well today, maybe because of the bad weather, so you decided to take a nice hot shower, make yourself a warm dish and eat it in bed while watching some TV.

As you scrolled trough some series, you found one that you started but didn't finish. It was about a young girl having a hard childhood because her parents divorced when she was a child and she had little to no friends. It reminded you of your ex, Jotaro, and that's probably the reason you didn't want to finish it.

But since there was nothing else to watch, you decided to just continue it and stop thinking about that jerk. How evil of him, he left you and your baby girl alone, and when she comes over to give you a visit and tells you about her dad, you don't know how to react.

You continued to watch the series and eat your soup in a cozy warm pajamas, while also hearing the sounds of the rain. All of a sudden, all the lights go off. You get scared at first, but then place your soup down and get your slippers on, to go check outside what had happend.

You grab your umbrella and quickly open the door, then the umbrella, as you walk to the back of your house to check electrical panel.

You didn't feel safe and instantly wanted to get inside your house again but just kept going.

When you arrived to the panel, you opened it but you felt someone walking behind you. You thought it was just some stupid hallucination because your fever level was kind of high so you quickly start to work with the panel to check what was going on.

When you felt the last step super close to you, they stopped but you didn't even realize since you were too busy working with the panel. When you had everything set, you were about to turn around but then you saw a tall man standing behind you.

You couldn't see his face so you tilted your umbrella a bit higher only to then feel your heart stop. It was your ex.

You both stare at each other in silence, but he breaks it.

"Y/N." he calls your name, but you were just staring at him with your eyes wide,thinking of a good threat to make him go away.

"W-what the hell are you doing in my property?! Get out or I'll call the authorities right now!..." He interrupts you with a light laugh and a fake smile.

You think of something better.

"... A-and I'm also sick! Yeah! So if you don't want to get high fever, just- go away and leave me alone!" You said, hoping that he'd go away.

"Is there a better excuse you can think of?" He asks, as you watch him in fear while some droplets fall from his hat.

You had to defend yourself from him, so you just tried to hit him with your umbrella, but as soon ad it got close to his face, it snapped in a half.

"You're so cute. I didn't realize what I had lost when I left you... But well, now I'm here to get you back..." He says, pausing himself to put his cold hand on your hot cheek,

"…Jolyne will be so happy when she'll hear us say that her mom and dad got back together. Don't you think?" He asks you, but you don't answer, it felt like you were totally freezed and couldn't move.

"I promise we'll be happy together and I'll take good care of you," He pauses himself again, picking you up, placing your face very close to his.

"Just me and you. You'll regret all the years you've spent alone, here without me. We will together forever... after all, it's for our daughter, right? She deserves the best, so we'll give it to her." He says, with a malicious smile on his face.

[helluvatired]

i see a lot of people criticizing that stoltiz and their daughters are a mess but honestly that's what makes me like them??

i like that it wasn't mutual love at first sight, and i like that they can't express themselves properly, all the misunderstandings and lack of communication and all this difficulty in expressing themselves, that's very entertaining to me

and even their daughters are terrible like their dads, i mean just look at loona's advice in this scene!

and she's saying all this because it's what she genuinely believes and she thinks she's helping blitzo

and octavia is a child of an arranged marriage and parents who divorced, she is still too immature to deal with all of this, and is so blinded by nostalgia and thinks that one day they really were a happy family

honestly i think even if stolas said "via i'm fucking gay and my dad forced me to get married since i was a kid", octavia would still find a way to still be upset with stolas. she's still too immature to deal with all of this

in fact, i think that the four of them are still very immature, that's why they can't express themselves properly or see the complete picture. they are so consumed by their insecurities (and think they are the truth) and they don't even try to express them. these things take time and i'm honestly happy to discover a cartoon that doesn't have linear character arcs like this, i know this can be tiring for some people but it's this realism that makes me like it

that's why as a stoltiz shipper i can never understand the discussions stolas vs blitzo on who is right, because in my opinion they are both wrong (maybe not for the same thing, but still) and they are horrible at expressing themselves and they are also horrible at understanding the that the other (and their daughters) are feeling, but even so i can understand their line of reasoning even though i know it's not true

it is also important to remember that in many scenes only we, the audience, know that information (again, their difficulty in expressing themselves and lack of communication)

i wouldn't exactly say i "defend" them, because i just understand their point of view and where this is coming from, and 95% of the time they are all indeed wrong x3

basically it's all this mess that makes me like the ship and the daughters, it's clear that this family loves and cares for each other, they just don't know how to express themselves or interact with anyone. but they have the most important thing, which is love, and with that they can heal and improve

they are worst and they are the best, i love them and i love this story <3