#i'm so done with this crap really

[captain----nemo----returns]

being dramatic over angst for a moment

i actually enjoy how everyone but me writes chuuya as this highly functional man. how he's managing it. pulling himself together. cool guy.

my tastes? destruction. i get my hands on you, you suffer greatly. i don't care what canon says. i make my niche in personal agony theater. i make "my little au 🌺" and i break you in every aspect of your story and personality.

the hunting dogs conflict may not exist for me. the book. all that jazz. i'm an everything after season 3 finale never happened person. but that's where i thrive. i don't need the outside world influence to let hell loose. at least for now.

talk to me when i'm on my new meds and i'll crush the world into dust

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

I swear, this is the last ever New Year that I ring in with people who don't value me or my time and efforts. This is the last year that I spend the holidays etc feeling utterly despondant and miserable. This is the last time I spend the 2 weeks that encompass Christmas, New Years, and my birthday with my cunt of a mother and sister. They have had almost 25 of them in some way or another, and this is their last. I'm done.

[peony-pearl]

Zuko mentions to Ursa he would like for his little siblings to come to the Fire Nation to enjoy the summer festival.

By saying ‘siblings’ she knows he’s talking about Chiyo and Katsu - Ozai’s children.

Ursa, Noren and Kiyi have taken residence at the Fire Nation palace for years now, ever since Ursa was discovered on the outskirts of Hira’a. Once Zuko got the information out of Ozai just over ten years ago where his mother had taken up residence, he was escorted there by Aang to reunite with her. Ursa did not hesitate to return to her children once Zuko lifted her banishment, and she was a key figure in Azula’s recovery.

When Ozai broke out of prison, Ursa was a driving force in trying to find him after he threatened Azula’s life. Knowing he was out there, free, for the past decade has haunted her.

And then, just two years ago, Zuko and Azula received news of his whereabouts... and they found him with the help of Aang, Katara and June.

And they let him keep his freedom.

Zuko’s explanation of the events sounded like a bad dream. Ursa listened to her boy, whom Ozai had savagely scarred as a child, defend his decision after seeing Ozai happy out in some Earth Kingdom farm with a new family.

She was speechless. Zuko had left children in the midst of this monster.

Azula was the one who was more critical of her father’s new life. She vented to Ursa about the pain of seeing him so happy with this naive, sheltered woman who decided to stay with Ozai even after learning about his past. Regardless, Azula would eventually begin receiving letters from both the woman, Niwa, and from her younger sister, Chiyo.

And then Zuko dropped the bombshell.

Chiyo was an Airbender.

Ursa spoke to Aang upon his return with Zuko and Azula. He seemed over the moon, to not only learn there was another Airbender in the world, but she was the descendant of one of Aang’s fellow Southern Air Temple residents, and this revelation gave him hope that there could be more Airbenders in waiting out in the world.

And yet, despite all of this... Ursa could only remember the man who who began denying her as a wife when his lust for the crown became stronger; the man who planted the seeds of lies to his daughter of her being a monster, seeds that blossomed into a beautiful, deadly flower. A flower that he ripped out of it’s garden bed and crushed under his boot when she was no longer useful. And Zuko, the son that he turned against and berated and scolded when all he ever did was his best, until the day he finally tried to step into more assertive shoes earned him a permanently damaged eye.

“So...” Zuko begins to speak. “I’ve thought about inviting dad and Niwa and the kids. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come around you, or Noren or Kiyi. But... he’s kept his end of his promise so far. I’ve thought it was only fair to extend a hand back to him.”

Ursa knew the promise: to write to Zuko and Azula, and to maintain a form of communication on a regular basis.

Zuko also regularly received letters from Niwa and Chiyo, and each one ensured truth to Ozai’s words. Even Azula, who often worried that Ozai was telling Chiyo what to write, would read her little sister’s letters that contained questions and thoughts only a seven year old could ask.

Ursa sighs as Zuko makes his case; he stumbles as he sees his mother’s unhappiness. “I-I can have them stay on the other side of the palace,” he says. Azula sits next to Ursa; Aang sits next to her.

Azula squeezes her mother’s hand. “Or we don’t have to invite him.”

Zuko nods, albeit reluctantly, to his sister’s suggestion. Azula becomes miffed.

“Why are you so adamant to see him here?”

“I’m not! I just-”

“You’ve asked every year since we found him if he can visit.”

“That’s only two years, Azula,” Zuko sighs. “Uncle’s been asking about him too.”

“Well, Uncle’s senile,” Azula crossed her arms.

“Azula,” Ursa gently admonished her daughter, who turned her gaze away as she pouted.

Aang touched Azula’s knee, but remained focused on Zuko. “Maybe just invite the kids?”

Zuko shook his head. “Katsu is only two, and to give up her kids so suddenly for a week may not be easy for Niwa.”

Aang grinned at Azula. “It would be good practice though.”

“Get your head out of those clouds; no kids until those vows are said,” Azula smirked.

“You keep declining my engagement!”

“This is a talk for another time,” Azula hissed quietly.

Ursa, having maintained her silence, wrings her hands together. “... Zuko, in the end, you are the Fire Lord. And this is your home.”

Zuko shakes his head. “Yeah, but-”

Ursa holds up her hand. “I admit. I am not keen on seeing him again. Ever again. But... I know this is something you’ve felt strongly about. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. I simply ask that you inform me of the decision so I can... make arrangements.”

Azula grinned. “Poison arrangements?” She asked, nudging her mother’s ribs. Ursa chuckled.

“If only I could be so lucky.”

“Guys,” Zuko said in exasperation. “Look... I’ll just invite them next y-”

“No, stop it.” Azula rolled her eyes. “Just tell them to come. Spirits, you’re such a downer, Zuzu.”

“Yeah, Zuzu,” Aang echoed his fiancee. Zuko shot him a tired look.

“I agree,” Ursa said. “Invite them. Besides; should anything go wrong, we have you three to keep him in his place; and Kiyi is becoming more proficient in her own bending.”

“Yeah; if he pulled anything we could take him!” Aang agreed.

Ursa could see the look on Zuko’s face though; but still, he nodded and watched as Aang and Azula decided to retire to bed. Ursa lingered, waiting to talk to her son in private.

“Zuko,” she said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “You don’t owe him any-”

“This isn’t about owing him. I know where I stand on what dad did to me; to us.”

“And yet you’re so hopeful to see him again.”

“Is it wrong to hope for a new path? I found mine, mom. Outside of the Fire Nation. Away from him. I found my life, my meaning. And so has he. I saw it. I saw him experience a life he’d become fully invested in. I saw two happy kids; a beautiful home... And...”

“... And?” Ursa asked.

Zuko swallowed.

“... And I was so mad he found it without us. But you know what? I also found my path without Azula. And... she’ll always have that in her mind. But she’s forgiven me.”

“She could not control the struggles you faced.”

“As I couldn’t control hers; and I’ll always have dad’s favoritism to remember. We’ve all been subjected to lives we didn’t want. Dad was one of them. So were you.”

Ursa folded her arms in front of her, looking much like her daughter. Zuko pleaded to her, still not quite over the fact that he was so much taller, and yet he still spoke to her like she towered over him.

“Mom... The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But there’s a part of me that wants to see this through. He’s my father. And I’ve hated him, and part of me still hates him. But after everything I’ve learned... if Aang can forgive me for everything I allowed to happen to him and his friends... if Uncle can forgive me for turning away from him, I want to know I can reciprocate that.”

“You don’t have to forgive him.”

“Mom, I haven’t. I will never forgive him for what he did to me, or Azula, or you. But I feel like I have an obligation, as the Fire Lord, to make sure he’s not causing trouble. I called off the searches once I saw how much he’s changed. Others have done the same for me. Time goes on. He... He looked out for me back when we were looking for Chiyo. I was hurt and he stayed with me.”

Ursa’s eyes widened as Zuko recalled the event to her for the first time.

“When I told him we would find Chiyo he was thankful for me. I... Sometimes I think maybe now... Maybe now I could get to know my dad-”

“Zuko you don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. But it’s my decision. I respect every bit of advice I get from you but this is something... something I need to do for myself. If Azula never wants to see him again after this, I will never invite him again.”

Ursa reached out to hold her son’s hand.

“And you’re not scared?” She asked. Zuko laughed.

“Mom, I’m terrified.”

Ursa’s face became one of determination.

“Then I will be right here with you.”

“I’m not scared that he’ll hurt me,” Zuko insisted. “Like you said, we can handle him if he were to become a threat.”

Ursa clasped Zuko’s hand tightly with both of hers. “But you’re still scared,” she said. “And I won’t let you be scared alone; not after I missed so many years.”

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

No image ID yet I just woke up from a nap and I'm tired sorry

Yoinked a quote thingy from @then-be-a-warrior (wasn't sure if I should reblog the post and add it to that? Or?? Sorry hope this is okay)

THIS IS NOT A S4 SPECIAL THING!! IN CASE I CAUSED WORRY

Click for better quality iz fuzzy otherwise

I wasn't gonna add Macaque in the last thing because I add him in too much but then my brain went 'okay but what if' and I went 'that's a good point' and now we have a S3 reference I'm sorry sorta :)

So 19 HOURS ON THIS HOLY CRAP

I originally made the background FFM but I didn't like how that looked so now you get a random area hope you enjoy

I'm so proud of this

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I really wish some of the actresses who have voiced Disney Princesses would stop comparing their princess to the previous ones and claim how she was the "first" one to have *gasp* independence and strength *gasp*. Have they ever watched a Disney movie outside of their own?

[twilightarcade]

I think abolishing homework would fix me

[shiawasekai]

Finding about Nethys was a very formative experience to Nela.

She was a terribly rebellious teenager.

During her childhood, she had been mostly sheltered from the worst of people's expectations by the existence of her human twin, Samel. They acted as a set and got almost the same treatment just... to avoid the otherwise endless complaints and tantrums.

As a teenager, however, with both twins building their own identities separate from each other, Nela found herself quickly overwhelmed by society's expectations on her as an aasimar. Their parents weren't the problem, they knew better than to force their kids down a path they didn't want; but it was a very different story with her peers and the other adults in her life.

And so, her resulting desire to spite e v e r y o n e played just as much of a part as her deep fascination for arcane magic when it came to her choice of god. Nethys was just perfect in that sense: it didn't go against her morals, he was far from any of the stereotypical choices due to obvious reasons (especially in Andoran) and his interests aligned with hers.

Nela joined a fairly benign congregation, which still caused quite the ruckus in her other social circles; but there she found community. People who saw the world like she did and were willing to teach her and guide her. There she also met her mentor, the woman who would train her to become an arcanist.

It truly changed her life for the better and gave her a space where she could thrive as herself.

Mind you, that was far from the last or only choice Nela took out of spite during her teens: her parents got plenty of heart attacks due to her shenanigans. However, she had already calmed down and grown out of it by the time she left on the fateful trip to Mendev.

[running-in-the-dark]

hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.

[fauchart]

I'm ngl I've been. feeling really shit about my art lately.

I promised myself I'd try and do at least one higher effort illustration per month this year so I'm continuing with that for now, it's a goal that's keeping me trying at least, but. damn.

Everything that I do feels and looks so laborious. I can't even draw a regular human figure without it coming out looking like a child who struggled to draw their dad, like. Why is this so difficult? And why is the end result so soulless?? It has as much life as a goddamn wikihow picture

I'm so envious of people who have their personality and artstyle figured out fr, I've been trying for years to find a spark of my own and never landed anywhere. I wanna lay down

[flamefatalis]

I’m so glad I’m almost done with this grad school class because my friggin group member has yet to do their part for a group assignment and it’s 9:00 AT NIGHT.  I’M GOING THE HELL TO BED.

[weedle-testaburger]

i wish i had a time machine for the specific purpose of going back in time to book stuff i really should've done when i had time and/or it was cheap enough to

[mobolanz]

Now I feel bad smh.

[monstersqueen]

...sigma watching old sigma's message and going "what kind of idiot does he think i am ? termites??" and the irony is killing me

[loki-hargreeves]

Just watched Sinister again (for the vibes) so I can write a little spooky season fic. Gotta get my head in the game. This should be fun 👀

[fingertipsmp3]

Why would my friend message me asking if I want to go for a walk and then when I answer immediately in the affirmative, drop off the face of the earth

[strawberry-jackalope]

feeling violently ill for most of the day, nausea and dizziness and at one point, a partial panic attack, so it's just terrible and I have no idea what to do