#i'm so dumb and I literally forgot to post the text

[elysianymph]

my unpopular marauders opinions

(i'm scared 😟)

'nothing is ooc bc we know nothing about the characters!' might work with the girl characters and the lesser known ones but it does not fly when we are talking about the marauders and other characters like barty, regulus, etc. we have so much (biased) information on these characters and you can't erase all they were in the original text bc you want to make an oc in the marauders era.

sirius is literally one of the most interesting characters in the fandom and i hate how he's been dumbed down to regulus' brother or remus' boyfriend depending on who's pov we're reading. what happened to cool sirius and why has he become a loser who follows remus around like a lapdog??? what happened to casanova sirius who all the girls were into but he never paid them any attention??? what happened to the sirius who risked his life and ran away bc he refused to become like his parents??? and why has been reduced to a whimpering mess who cries bc remus is mean to him (ooc on remus' part too). you're lying to yourselves if you think sirius wouldn't start throwing hands the moment remus insulted him. i need to write an entire separate post for this bc it makes me viscerally angry when i see him portrayed like this. who decided that giving remus all of sirius' main character traits was a good idea??

similarly, remus has become so boring. he has literally become the toxic love interest in a werewolf story please STOP IT. i'm tired of remus constantly yelling and calling other people (specifically sirius) worthless or hitting their deepest insecurities but it's all justified bc it's the full moon and he's angry and emotional. it's overdone, it's toxic, it's boring and i don't want to see it. my remus will forever be a an old sweater-wearing, bookworm people pleaser who wanted nothing more than to have friends who loved him despite who he was and he treasured them so dearly when he found them. he carried extra pens and quills in his bag because he knew peter always forgot his, he always came to james' games to cheer him on despite not being interested in quidditch. idk what you people find appealing about remus thinking sirius is a nuisance or annoying when they're dating but it's not <3 he spent years staring at sirius' back during class and being satisfied to just be in his presence because he didn't think he deserved any of it. how could he wish for more when sirius was wrapping an arm around him and whispering the plan to their newest prank? you want me to think the shy boy who looked away anytime sirius made eye contact with him was a smooth talker who found sirius annoying?? at this point he's an oc with remus' face be fr

sirius >>> regulus any day. cry about it

speaking of regulus i hate how the fandom has characterized him. you've created sirius 2.0 with his storyline (while simultaneously slandering sirius' character) and then made him an emo version of remus' already awful characterization. he's not an uwu victim who begged his brother to come with him, he was a blood supremacist who was probably overjoyed that the stain on his family tree was gone. 'i hate you but i love you' describes the black brothers perfectly but that 'but' doesn't undo the hatred they feel for each other. sibling relationship are so complex, especially in a family like theirs, and their relationship would've been turbulent. by the time sirius had ran away i fully believe the hate they felt for each other was bigger than any love they had left. regulus who is a manipulative asshole, regulus who is actively trying to get rid of sirius so he can get to be the heir he thinks he deserves to be will always be more interesting than the way regulus is written in most jegulus fics.

also james would've literally bullied regulus. it's the truth

also, let james be an asshole! let james be a bully! he was a teenager for fucks sake let him be mean and cruel! give him an ego the size of the sun and nothing else to 'make it better'. he was an only child raised in a pureblood family, i would be more surprised if he didn't turn out to be a narcissistic teenager. he was talented and spoiled and wanted everyone to agree with him bc he had never been brought down to earth from his high horse. let him be messy. i don't understand why the fandom has such a problem with complex characters

this fandom hates on severus too much while babygirl-ifying characters who have done the same or worse than him. was he an asshole? yes. was he also a really interesting character that people choose to ignore or push aside bc he's not conventionally attractive? yes. you've idolized barty and evan and regulus, characters who are also canonically death eaters and have done unforgivable things, yet you continue to hate on severus because?? i don't like him either but commenting 'stan bambi' on every single severus edit is a bit too much effort for a character you claim to not give a shit about :/

remus would NOT be friends with barty, evan and regulus. he's a loser and those three would bully him to death

'i wish people would make more marauders era girls content-' 💥💥💥make it yourself. there is PLENTLY of girls content all you need to do is look in the tags (but oh wait you can't look in the tags bc no one in this fandom has apparently heard of fandom etiquette and they're all tagging every ship under the sun on a post about jegulus. trust me, if i wanted to see jegulus content i would go in their tag. now stop tagging it with dorlene and marylily)

idk if this one is that unpopular cause i've seen it around quite a bit recently but the lupins are literally one of the best families and they are so underrated. the relationships between hope and remus and lyall and remus and the effects that remus' lycanthropy has on them is always on my mind fr. you don't need to give every character mommy/daddy issues to make them interesting or complex ❤️

the prank is SO overdone. like every post prank fic is the same shit and i'm tired. sirius felt no remorse, remus called it an unfunny prank, get over it. it can be interesting to explore (especially sirius' thoughts during it and how remus deals with the consequences of one of his best friends betraying him) but so many times the prank has just been used to justify writing remus being so so incredibly shitty to sirius and poking at his every insecurity that at this point i don't even want to read about it anymore. remus had every right to be mad but once again you're ignoring the canon characterization just to make him seem like a badass when he would absolutely not confront sirius about it.

'[girl character] is just the female version of [male character]' literally makes me want to bite someone's head off. how is it that you have time to create whole new personalities for james, sirius, remus and every other male character under the sun but lily, mary, dorcas or marlene don't get that treatment?? slapping sirius' old characterization on marlene or remus' old characterization on lily doesn't make for compelling characters but none of you care enough to actually flesh these women out and make them something more. it's no wonder people complain about them being boring when the main fanon is just slapping on a guy's personality onto them but make it misogynistic. if you can give regulus an entire backstory and justify his every action then you can give the girls some interesting character traits in your works be fr.

rudy solos grant chapman 🫶🏻

[hotpinkboots]

got any Funtime Freddy x Flirty Darling? your Funtime Freddy fanfics are my absolute FAVORITE! (you write so amazingly!)

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~𝓕𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓭𝔂 x Flirty!Reader Headcanons~

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OH MY GOAHAJSJDKSK THANK YOU SO MUCH AAA THAT MADE ME GIGGLE AND TWIRL MY HAIR

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝓕𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓭𝔂

★★★★

~HE THINKS IT'S SILLY

~Sometimes it goes right over his head since. y'know he's made for children

~And even when you do more direct flirts at him he's like taking it as a cute little crush like a 6 year old would have a crush on Robinhood or something

~So he's pretty oblivious if you're trying to start something like a literal relationship to him but he thinks the flirting and stuff is funny and he thinks it's a game

~It's his favorite game now btw

~Attempts to flirt back sometimes with cute little nicknames for you (cupcake, cookie, candy, and dumb stuff like sweetums and snookums lmao)

~He's a little bit oblivious, but he loves it when you throw playful flirts at him!

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I'M TRYNA GET FANFIC OUT WHENEVER I CAN AAAAA

As stated before I'm gonna be real busy until like May 16th but I'm doin' my best 🤩

Also do I even need to update my Masterlist?? It would take hours and I forgot about the fact there's a post archive thingy so can't people just search for tags and find the fanfiction they want? Is there a reason to even have a Masterlist if there's already a place to search for the fanfiction you wanna read? Like there is a built in Masterlist already

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Request Guidelines!

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Discord Server! Here you can roleplay with and as your favorite characters, get updates on my fanfiction, and get sneak peaks for my upcoming videogames!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[skullfacedog]

I accidentally stumbled upon a text document of my old journal thread from a therian forum from when I was a teen and now I'm going thru it bc I'm really curious of the signs I had headmates or repressed memories back then

-so far, I've described myself as "being able to switch personalities easily" and wondering if I was half demon or had a demon headmate all along that I didn't know about because I had multiple sides of me that felt very contradictory. I am hellhoundkin but I feel like a lot of the demonic feels I had as a teen have worn off a lot, especially since my mental health has gotten better.

it's crazy reading these old posts bc I'm like a totally different person now lmao. I rlly said "I have violent urges and it's hard to hold back from hurting ppl just to hear them scream" YOU COULDN'T EVEN HURT A FLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTTTT

-another thing that's kinda weird is that I was really obsessed with outer space at some point and mentioned that in my journal and mentioned questioning being stardragonkin but now it's like ?? I mean space is cool but it's nowhere near one of my main interests. I'm more of a fantasy person than a scifi person. naturey shit is wayyyy cooler than stars sorry.

-post about feeling sick for no reason like not having a cold or anything and being unable to eat but I thought it was species dysphoria??

-post complaining that I "don't feel like myself lately". depression or headmate??

-previously talked about feeling hellhound shifts that feel different from normal and kind of having a weird change in mindset. then in this post I mention I have a hellhound headmate named xarashi. that's them!!! that's the hellhound I "shifted" into!! also happy bc I fully forgot their name and it's been killing me that I didn't remember their name and just referred to them as "the hellhound headmate I had as a teenager". I wonder if they're still around but I feel like if I ask I would get an answer just bc I asked, does that make sense?? like I'm afraid my brain is making shit up but also, they were 100% a headmate at one point so it's not crazy to think they could still be there somewhere.

-also mentioned eshari who was a little demon girl headmate I had for a short time who was weirdly malicious. I distinctly remember like having a fight or something triggering me really badly with my internet friend and I just started feeling entirely emotionless and dissociatey and responded to my friend in ways I would not normally. and later I realized that was a headmate and tried talking to her. I genuinely thought she was an evil demon or something but I'm pretty sure she was a persecutor?? girl I'm so sorry I was so fucking dumb. anyway the lore goes that xarashi chased off eshari and kind of replaced her.

-not related to the general post idea here ig I'm just giving a live reaction at this point but I got to the point where I posted about meeting my ex abuser irl when we were dating and I said "I've never been that nervous in my life" "he kept hugging and petting me, it made me a bit uncomfortable bc I'm not used to him, but I liked it!" BITCH YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF BECAUSE HE LOVEBOMBED YOU AND YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE LOVED AND FEEL USEFUL YOU WILL CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU'RE OKAY WITH UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS!!! STOP!!!!!!

literally the next post I made was the announcement of our breakup LMAO

also I still wonder if he reminded me of my CSA abuser bc I was literally IMMEDIATELY wildly uncomfortable when I saw him for the first time irl and I've always kinda been uncomfortable around men with his body type, like kinda big and masculine and with facial hair. I could not date someone who looks like that and I swear it has nothing to do with attractiveness like I'm demiro I do not give a fuck if someone isn't the standard of attraction but I can't date someone too big and masculine bc they scare me?? I'm so thankful my partner is the same height as me and skinny and always shaves. I mean he's cute with facial hair at least, not like overly masculine.

-mentioned always having been closed off to my parents, not telling them that I wished I was a dog (in an otherkin way before I found the community online) or that I "didn't want to go to heaven". why was I such a weird ass kid lmao I remember I wanted to go to hell purely so that I could fight the devil myself and bc "heaven seems boring" ?? why did 7 year old me have like a self sacrifice complex or smth idk like I was OBSESSED with the idea of me going thru pain for other ppl even as a very young child. I have nooo clue if that could be SA related but it is certainly Odd

-mentioned being able to do a really good impression of karkat from homestuck (according to my friends) and wanting to cosplay him. I sorta wondered at the time if I had a karkat headmate bc I could like Become him really easily it was weird. and he has like the complete opposite personality of me.

-mentioned dissociation like. many times throughout the entire journal

that's all but I may do similar posts with some other stuff I can find online from my past bc I need to psychoanalyze myself and search for every little sign that something was Wrong that I didn't notice at the time. the internet being forever is a good thing for me rn because I threw out every single physical journal I had which makes me so sad bc I would've lovedddd to read my old cringey journals, not just to search for trauma signs but also for entertainment purposes </3

[goldenchunkycat]

I still love him (Do I ?)

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Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader

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Summary: Patterns of disrespect in a relationship.

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Warnings:

- ANGST: Toxic relationship, Sunghoon does not respect reader feelings or privacy, swear word like once. ___ A/N: I do not romanticize toxic relationships. Please, love, be loved, and respect your other significant ♡

"Miss, would you like to order ?"

"Sorry, I did not- Just a few more minutes please..."

"Of course, I'll be back in a few minutes."

She was polite, smiling, kind, and obviously pitying me. I was pitying myself too. I have been sitting here, on this bench, for an hour now. At first, I was just thinking that he was a bit late. Nothing too unusual, I was used to it. But it wasn't pissing me off, since I have been late to some of our dates too. But minutes after, I came the horrid conclusion that he was not going to come. Maybe he forgot, maybe he had a busy schedule. He was an idol, I knew what to expect from him. But...it still hurts.

"Excuse me !"

"Yes Ma'am ? Would you like to order ?"

"Yes. I'll take a hot chocolate with a muffin please. Cheesecake and strawberry, please."

"Okay ! I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

At least that random person was kind, otherwise I would be crying in the middle of this cute coffee shop, looking at the picture that Sunghoon posted on his private Instagram account. Yeah. He really was busy.

"I told you a hundred time that I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."

"You look very sorry when you roll your eyes."

"I'm in idol ! I have a schedule, deadlines, expectations, people are looking up to me, I can't deceive them !"

It hurts. His words are like gunshots, tearing me appart, shattering my heart and crushing the last pieces of it.

"Do,'t you think that I have a life too ? I may not be famous like you, but I'm working too ! I literally lied to my employer to be able to go on this date with you because you said it was your only day off of the month. But you made me wait and make a fool of myself in that coffee shop !"

"Look, I really gotta go, we'll talk about this later, okay ?"

And he hung up on me. Because Sunghoon was like this. He was always late, disregarding of my free time, and never here to discuss things that matters. Well, it matters to me, but what about him ? But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"What is it ? Tell me !"

"No, it's a surprise."

I giggled at his words, holding his hand close to my heart. I hate whenever I act like this, smiling big, giggling like a lovesick girl. But that's what I was. A lovesick girl. And Sunghoon a good boyfriend who keeps his words. When I woke up this morning, he sent me a text, saying that he was going to take me on a date. So dressed nice, just for him. He just came to pick me up in a jogging and a white shirt. It was fine, as long as he felt comfortable in whatever he was wearing.

"Okay, you can open your eyes."

Oh.

"Oh- Oh ! Sunghoon, thank you so much, it's...very nice."

"What's with the face, don't you like it ?"

He gave me the look. The disappointed one. The one who made me feel like a bad girlfriend who was never happy and very much ungrateful.

"I really like it, babe. But you know that I'm allergic to cats, right..?"

I just wanted him to tell me that he just forgot, that he could take me elsewhere. But he just gave me the other look. The 'duh' one. The one who made me feel like I was dumb, like we weren't on the same page.

"I know. I just really wanted to come here. And since it's my day off I wanted to take you on a date too. Thought that you could do some efforts."

Efforts. There's no 'efforts' that I can make, because if I come in there I'm gonna be sick for a whole week. Don't you realize that it can injure me severely ? If you did not forgot then why did you bring me here ? Don't you care about my health, for my safety ?

Those are the words that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to yell and throw a tantrum, to be the selfish one for once. To look at him like he looked at me. But did not uttered a word. I just smiled and followed him in the coffee. Because Sunghoon was like this, he was selfish and did not gave two buck about my safety if he could enjoy himself. But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"I'm here."

"Finally."

"Sorry, had to do something on the way here."

Are you ? Didn't you just showed up two hours late ? Didn't you made me eat our dinner alone when you promised that you would come tonight ?

"I'm changing, don't come in the bedroom !"

"I have to take your charger, like, right now."

"Yeah, but you can wait a few minutes."

"No."

Just as I was changing my underwear, he barged into my bedroom, looking at me briefly before walking beside me to take my charger who was on my bed.

"Sunghoon, what the fuck ?"

"Oh, come on it's fine, I'm your boyfriend."

I felt like throwing up and crying while running at marathon. I wanted to kick him out of my apartment to teach him that no, it was not fine, even if he was my boyfriend. But I remained silent, eyes wide ,shocked at his demeanor.

"Get out !"

He plopped on the bed, laughing and winking at me, getting himself comfortable while ignoring my pleas.

"Please, get out of my bedroom, Sunghoon..."

He shrugged and plugged his phone. I hated the fact that I had to took my clothes and go change into my bathroom. I hated that when I looked at my reflection, the only thing that I saw was tears filling up my eyes, rosy cheeks because of the embarrassment and self-consciousness that was coursing through my body. I hated the fact that he was indifferent. Because Sunghoon was like this, disrespectful of my mental and physical privacy. But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him.

"But it's pretty ! You would look stunning in this dress."

"I said no, Sunghoon, I'm not wearing this dress, I don't like. I'd rather wear something in my closet."

He put the dress down and sighed. He was sulking. At some point in our relationship it was fun and cute. How he would avoid eye contact, sigh when I'm talking at him or just straight up ignoring me. But seems like it wasn't now because...

"I'm sorry, Sunghoon. Look, I can tel you why I don't wanna wear it, huh ? I'm very grateful for the gift though."

Because it was just rude. It was making me sick, anxious, stressed. It was making me question myself. Should I have wear that dress, even if I hated it ? Was I too capricious ? And when I wanted to talk to him about my feelings, like the adults that we were, he was just giving me the silent treatment, disregarding my feelings.

"I'm sorry..."

Why was I sorry ? Because Sunghoon was like this ? Selfish, uncaring, a liar, disrespectful ? But it's fine, I'm the one who picked him, I fell in love with him and I still love him, do I ?

Masterlist | Requests ?

[jellyfish-er]

I think my best friend and I like each other

(for the sake of this post we're gonna call my bestie Lucas because that's close to his name)

I am currently in the midst of a talking stage that's fizzling out. I vent about it to my best friend, and he listens as he has always been there for me. I'm a female so people ship us, but it has always been whatever, and we just let it bounce off us. Withing the past month as my talking stages has been failing quicker and quicker Lucas has been showing signs. He will randomly call me specifically for no reason. My main group of four pretty much only does group facetimes so this was my first sign. Two when he asks what I'm doing (pretty much always my hair) I'll send him a pic and he is always obsessed. I have 3 out of seven classes with him and he always wait for me no matter how long I take and no matter how far away his class is. My locker is on the second floor of our school and his locker is downstairs and he will walk upstairs through the hella busy staircase just to get me so he can walk me to chorus (in the basement) and then book it back to the first floor for his percussion class. I'm a self-aware person and I know I am not the best singer, but I have improved in the four years I have done choir and Lucas has seen almost all of that improvement, and never lets me doubt myself and is always telling me I have a great voice. (he might be more delulu than me lol) . Lucas makes and effort to make it to all of the choir only concerts even if that means he skips his black-belt class which he can only miss once every two months. Lucas is a percussionist (a damn good one at that) and I do color guard, so we always find something to talk about with our music programs and there is never a dull moment. Lucas texts/calls me before and after every competition and comes to all of the home shows and performances. He met me right before I joined guard and constantly tells me how he has seen me move from a crappy first year JV to the strongest flag on varsity. We are both extreme swiftes and he has stayed up so many nights helping me make bracelets for the concert I went to/ going to. I do my best to make him feel like the best version of himself that he can be, but I don't think I could ever compare to has ability to complement people. He is he sweetest most thoughtful person I have ever met and that is probably why we have been friends for 3 years. We have gotten closer over the past year, and he knows me better than I know myself and the same goes for me. Lucas is super protective and it's so weird because when I get hit on, he always intervenes before i can say anything. I admire all of these things about him, and I think I might be falling for him. Please for the love of God send me advice because I don't know what the hell to do. We have been friends for so long and if we got together, it could seriously screw our friend group and even more if there were issues.

edit: I totally forgot to mention this which is dumb because its half the reason I made this post lol. He is always pushing my hair out of my face. I have long, red hair and he loves it when I put it up and is always complementing me on it but when I wear it down it tends to get in my face when I do literally anything and I have to shove it out but recently he has been walking up behind me and pulling it back or just when we're talking he will brush it out of my face or behind my ear or something with the comment "I gotta move your hair cuz otherwise I can't see your beautiful smile." I know it's dumb and childish but ITS SO CUTE.

[incarnateirony]

*Shealyn's denialist retardation and avoidance intensifies, adds new vanity plates, tries to be retarded in Norse today, misses what she's reblogging again*

Shealyn, you've never done a real magic trick in your life, you just chased and abused and tried to destroy the Magi of the path you spewed heretical delusional octopus jibberish in the name of. It doesn't matter what pantheon you run to, but yes, I do have badass music taste, since you keep confusing me with Loki, and yes, even if it burns me out. I've made that incredibly fucking clear.

I love that this bitch just keeps trying to rotate her shit to find something, too. Hermes and the dance moves! Loki and the music list! Um. Anubis and the kitty kibble! All the godshadows and her Therapy Book! Anything but addressing the screaming lady in her head she confessed to on main! Today's distraction is ROCK MUSIC. Tomorrow... whiny reblogs begging the universe to think about her FEEEEEEEEEELINGS. On Sunday, if we turn a bunch of posts sideways without reading them, maybe she can find a way to validate-away with a half printed motivational poster what has her crying inside because she goddamn knows better. Her inner goddess is weeping but the monster of shadow born from her obstructing her own light is too obese on the chewed on foreskin of her ex to release its ego.

What is it gonna take for someone in her life to intervene and go, you know what, Shealyn. The octopus jibberish from the cited anime was never real. So your communication with him isn't legit. Which would explain why you don't know any of his doctrine stuff or axioms or whatever Aaron is talking about that the rest of the practicing world DOES know. Maybe we should listen to the psych worker and elder magi, and not to the god of death you think is telling you to feed the cats. Because I think he just jacked your playlist and blog again. You HAVE had an alarming escalation in required medication and self-harm habits that you've had to shave yourself bald over. Maybe there's a correlation here. And you know in hindsight, it IS pretty weird that you're up your ex's ass in social circles three years later, that should have pegged us as unhealthy behavior, sorry for contributing to that.

But no, that would require her, and them, to have been like. WRONG about something. If they scour tumblr hard enough they might find a post to interpret that makes their weird rapey bullshit okay.

No, y'all. She's schizoaffective and you've fed it until it became full blown stalker obsession x literally made a fucking cult to her ex husband and now you're ALL too motherfucking embarrassed to look at it.

Also yes, Shea. Very much the Best Comment. Thank you. Thee Crustdaddiest. You're still schizoaffective and still riding my astral dick. And now you fucked up and got Mark on it.

Avoiding the truth doesn't change it, it just prolongs how long I'm going to embarrass both of you while picking your brain to pieces.

Is being humiliated one of your fetishes too now? is it a kinky thing? maybe I'm just playing into your horny lying cultist hands by embarrassing you like this, is this another way you get off on me?

or are you so braindamaged you forgot we went over this being in the exact time period you fucked up and got Mark bound to me and you kept changing the color of my otherwise identical-across-entities prescription lenses on every different "character" or "god interpretation" you were doing for a hot minute there.

Because that's what people that Actually Talk To A Deity have to do. Interpret what they look like. Not "this is how I see him." This is how you interpret text you pretend talks to you at night. But you done fucked up and attached to me, and you know, we've been over this, you dumb broad.

But yes, Thee Daddiest. Technically they forgot the most important Thee. But I respect the effort. The -est suffix imports the essence of Thee enough, Thee Crustdaddy, or The Crustdaddiest. See, language is fun!

Lady... we're STILL doing this?

My bad that old avatar generator didn't have the exact nose bridge you'll try to bitch about as different. Just like you didn't notice the Pan with the spider after I started yelling HEY YOU LLOTH OF THE TENTH HOUSE ARACHNE WHO SHADOWS HER OWN ALTAR. "man I just got this vivid visual of the pan that looks weirdly like Aaron's icon going BOO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!" MAN IT WAS REAL RED WHEN I WENT THERE LAST NIGHT TO DEAL WITH MOON MOON "IDK THIS GUYS NAME BUT I'M PROUD OF HIM. IF HIS HAIR IS SHORTER, IS HE A DIFFERENT DUDE????" Me: LMAO ENJOY YUGIOH BRAINROT "we'll draw the guy on hieroglyphics... and paint him BLACK... even without giving him actual black features, we just keep changing the skin tone on the same dude's face and caling it a different guy. But this one has a side shave!! SEE, DIFFERENT GUY WE SWEAR." me, sitting there with my clippers shaving my head: you're literally all brain damaged.

I can ALMOST forgive Mark for missing the Ash in the Pyramidhead thing, because your lying ass intentionally will hide from him what that is and it does look different, but the others yall, it's outright embarrassing to watch, but I've been saving your fanart. Very useful actually.

fuck me running with a pitchfork. Like friggin... artistic blackface to try to dodge being called out on their shit. Changing hair length and hair dye color but still drawing the same motherfucker over and over again with the same general essence and the same glasses throughout, even in the egypt piece where they painted him dark but still gave him caucasian ass facial structure with the same fucking glasses same as "Loki" and "IDK his name but I'm proud of him" which conveniently match the facial shape of "Hermes", or "Rhys", or "Coyote", or whatever she's fucking waving around my bullshit under today pretending it isn't me and mine and my shit and my work face identity you know the fucking song by now. Hell Egyptian Dude direct transited the purple lips and other details from the icon I had on my blog for a month to reclaim my own motherfucking face from your theft. But I guess a haircut and blackfacing him changes everything. Fucking flaming candied jesus on a pogo stick, you guys.

Also sidebar but this is the funniest timing to me rn

No seriously, nobody finds it weird that while she runs further and further from the concept of Hermes beyond compulsively giving in to a few evocations I've forced out of her letting her think it was rebellion or whatever... now it's LOKI with the dance moves, and it's LOKI telling her to do her therapy. Because therapy and Workbooks and Playlists are all totes common Loki associations, and not just her trying to transplant her bullshit to escape to another language like that'll help.

Hey dumb dumb, Loki is just as easy to travel in the unconscious right now for the same reasons.

YEAH NO

NOTHING HILARIOUS GOING ON HERE.

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

Price to be Paid - Chapter 24

AO3 Link here!

That night the gang gathered to celebrate Jack making it home safe and sound after his ordeal with Angelo Bronte. Crates of beer and other liquors were brought out, the fires roared full and bright, and a weight seemed to be lifted from the shoulders of everyone as they settled into the surroundings of Shady Belle.

Except for you, who couldn't stop thinking about the letter you found from Mary.

All this time. They had been writing back and forth for however long and about god knows what. Maybe she just needed help or someone to vent to, their story was still classified as a mystery to you. But never once had Arthur mentioned her or made you think that she was still a part of his life.

Javier strummed the guitar and caught your eye. His eyebrows danced when he asked you to sing and you agreed quickly, needing a distraction from the way your thoughts were headed. This was a party after all, might as well have fun. The two of you spent almost an hour around the warm flames of the fire, dancing and singing to entertain the others. Jack loved the attention even if Abigail was unwilling to let him go. You understood; Jack was her whole world and he had only just gotten back after the terrifying ordeal.

You walked around after the music had ended and others wanted to sing admiring the love these people shared and the many ways it was communicated. Sean pulled Karen into his lap and whispered something, most likely dirty, in her ear causing the woman to be taken over by a fit of giggles. Hosea and Dutch stood as watchful figures from the porch. Lenny was tapping his foot from his spot on guard duty and humming along when he thought no one could see him.

“YN! Where’s that fiance of yours at?” Tilly called from her spot next to Mary Beth and you sat with them.

“That’s something I’d like to know. Saw him earlier, wonder where he got off to?”

Mary Beth looked at you with bright eyes. “Maybe he’s hiding, planning something big for you!”

Clearly she had a few drinks in her as she rocked back with laughter. You and Tilly shared a glance at her reaction and chuckled along, enjoying the carefree way her hair rolled around her shoulders.

You left them and wandered back inside, calling out for Arthur. It didn’t come as a surprise when you got no answer, standing alone in the big house that was falling apart around you.

A small cheer went up outside and you walked out to find Arthur hitching his horse up, waving off those greeting him and tipping his hat as he walked in, embarrassed at the extra attention from his drunken cohorts. Dutch slapped his shoulder with encouraging words and Arthur stopped for a moment before spotting you standing on the porch.

You tried to hold the memory of the letter in your mind as you stared him down, but the moment his face broke into a smile you knew you couldn't fight it. Arthur was many things; kind to those in need, fiercely loyal to the gang, loving and caring to you after all those months of hiding his feelings, and something inside of you said he would never cause you harm. Brushing the thought of Mary aside for the night you let him scoop you into a hug once he ran up the steps and held on tightly, inhaling his scent of tobacco leaves and leather.

“Sorry I ran off darlin’, Dutch needed something from town and I thought I would be back before now.”

“Wasn’t too long. Just enough time for me to worry about my fiance, but ain’t nothing new there.”

Arthur growled low in your ear and pushed the doors behind you open. After confirming that no one was around he laid you back against the wall and held himself against you. His hands swirled your hair between his fingers and he looked at you hungrily, eyes darting to your lips and breath coming in short. A warmth pooled in your belly at the glint in his eyes.

“Arthur, everyone is right outside they might -”

“They won’t.”

The slow smile that spread across your face broke him and in a heartbeat he pinned you to the wall in a kiss, one hand lazily roaming your hips while the other gently cupped your cheek. You grabbed each side of his leather jacket and swirled one finger against his chest in the hair that peeked out before pushing his shirt open a few buttons to fully explore. You found your way down and rubbed the bulging spot in his jeans, laughing lightly at his response. Arthur groaned against your mouth, bucking his hips in response to your touch.

“Why, Mr. Morgan, so quick to arouse! Whatever could that be for?”

He hung his head into the crook of your shoulder and sighed. “Got this woman that fills my head with thoughts that are pure torture and sin. Have to watch her walk around, knowing what she sounds she makes when it’s just me causing the noise. After all that, when I finally get to touch you? Sweetheart it’s hard to not...well, you know.”

A blush worked its way up his cheeks as he pulled away from you. You knew his mind would quickly turn to shame so you grabbed his hand and pulled him away; through the house and up the stairs to the room you shared together.

“I’m, I’m the same Arthur. I didn’t mean to tease you. Anytime I find myself dreaming of you...it’s not decent.” You laughed with your arms crossed and watched for his reaction. His eyebrows shot up at your words but he kept his gaze on your face as you spoke. “I’ve never felt like this Arthur, like at times I might burn up and die if you don’t touch me right that minute. It’s crazy and wild, but I hope it never goes away. Wouldn't trade you for anything in this world.”

Arthur’s blue eyes sparkled as you approached him and he hung his arms around your waist. “How’d an ugly old cowboy like me get so lucky with a woman like you? Maybe you hit your head harder than we thought leaving Blackwater.”

You chuckled. “I’ll happily spend the rest of my life convincing you you’re more than you see, Arthur Morgan. I hope you know I’m in for the long haul.”

“Well,” he grabbed your hand and kissed below your engagement ring. “I’m glad you know what I meant when I asked you to marry me.”

You threw your head back laughing, feeling happy and aglow inside. The conversation would have continued if a voice down below hadn’t started to yell for Arthur to come join the group, leaving you to sigh. “One day, we won’t be dictated by everyone around us.” Arthur agreed and followed you out.

Hosea greeted you both with a beer, smiling and starting some idle chatter. Arthur and he discussed his run into town, and you could have sworn once or twice Hosea’s eyes cut to you before speaking but it may have been the beer warping your thoughts and perception.

Sean was leading the group in an Irish song about being back home in Donegall and motioned for you to join, eager to have another voice in the mix. You smiled and raised your beer to decline his offer as you enjoyed resting against Arthur for the time being.

“You ever sing Arthur?”

He shook his head. “Nah, wouldn't subject anyone to that kind of torture.”

“Sure he does!” Grimshaw pipped up next to you. “Heard him humming along when he does chores or helps out, thinks no one is around though.”

You laugh as Arthur tipped his head down. Clearly it was something that he didn’t want to be pressed on any further.

The night continued on with a beautiful sparkle. Everyone was relaxed and happy as the music filled the air to cover the melody of crickets and frogs coming up from the swampy bayou. The drinks flowed freely and the sight of Abigail holding little Jack again was enough to put a smile on just about everyone’s face, even Charles who wandered over every so often on guard duty. Dutch had declined making a speech early on in the night and stuck to his resolve, Molly close by his side as they drank and talked. It felt like it had been ages since the two got along for more than a few minutes and you could see how young Molly looked as the scowls and crying stopped. You felt like a real and proper family for the first time in ages and it warmed you that things felt semi normal.

Javier approached you later on with a bottle in his hand. “YN! Have you seen Miss Tilly? I have a question but can’t seem to find her anywhere.”

You shook your head. “Last I saw her was with Mary Beth going on about something, Arthur may have but he’s over talking to Lenny and Sean.”

The two of you looked over at the sound of roaring laughter and Lenny nearly falling off of his chair. Sean was bent in half, laughing harder than you had ever seen him while Arthur wiped tears from his eyes in between speaking. He must have been telling some story to the younger men as there was a lull and he leaned in dramatically to tell the last line and off they went again. Javier muttered something under his breath and you laughed along, happy to see them all enjoying the evening. After a few moments of chatting Charles came up to tell Javier they were switching for guard duty, much to Javier’s pleasure. He nodded to you and headed off towards the perimeter of the camp.

“Seems to be a lively mood tonight.” Charles looked around the group as he spoke.

“Everyone is lighter, we got Jack back and it’s a good time, I think. Dutch hopefully has something up his sleeve and I’m so happy I could burst. Not to talk about it all the time.” Charles smiled at you as you continued to gush about camp and being happy with Arthur. He understood you meant it out of love and not to overshadow anything else going on.

“Just hope we can get out of here soon. Being in the swamps makes me anxious. I’ve seen gators out there as tall as me and twice as strong, I have no intention of going near that water anytime soon.”

You shuddered at the thought. The swamps had not called to you while staying at Shady Belle and you hoped to keep it that way. “Something about the way they move. Give me the creeps.”

“Speaking of creeps,” Charles muttered to you. Micah walked into camp and held his arms up like a king greeting his subjects. No one met him the way they did Arthur hours earlier and his face soured into a scowl. Dutch called out a greeting but it was only met with a wave before he made his way to the fire to sit down by Bill. The two of them scoured and slumped in the corner while the rest of the camp carried on lively.

“Hey! Bring me a drink.”

You looked at Micah as he called over to Charles. Standing frozen you began to worry how this would play out. Micah yelled again, this time including a slur which was met with protests from those sitting nearby. Charles tensed up and you laid a hand on his arm to try and keep him away but by then Arthur had sauntered over. His eyebrows narrowed at the sound of Micah’s voice.

“Just ignore him, Charles He’s trying to make himself feel powerful.”

Charles nodded but his hands balled into fists as Micah continued to yell. Finally he burst.

“Get your own damn beer, you coward!” Charles smashed his bottle on the ground and huffed his chest, breathing heavily. Micah stood and began to stalk over but not before Dutch stopped him in his tracks.

“Enough! Micah, take a walk. The rest of you relax, there’s not much that can bring down my mood like infighting.” He shook his head, looking around the group. “Really. Tonight is a celebration, let’s keep it that way.”

You let go of Charles and watched him stalk off to the other side of camp. Arthur sighed beside you. “Here’s hoping he gets lost in the swamps.”

Laughing, you dug your elbow into Arthur’s ribs as he raised his bottle. It was a good thought but you didn’t want anyone to hear his nasty thinking. It was one thing to know Micah was disliked by the group, but another to be the ones actively voicing that opinion.

The rest of the evening carried on in a much lighter mood. People continued to sing and dance even after Javier retired his guitar for the night. He wanted to spend some time out on the docks and enjoy the moon and the stars. John and Abigail got into it for a bit, biting remarks coming one after another until Jack told them to stop and they seemed to sober up. Up until that point their normal had been to disagree, but you hoped moving forward things would change. Hosea retired early, as well as Grimshaw and Uncle leaving most of the gang gathered in clumps around the house. At one point you thought you saw Mary Beth and Tilly run off together, but no one could find them by the time you went to bed. Kieran had just left for guard duty when Arthur tugged on your arm to head upstairs. Never before had you been so grateful to see your mattress, even if it was just too small for the both of you.

The sun crept through the broken blinds the next morning to greet you. Knowing you should get up but not wanting to, you rolled over and snuggled into Arthur’s side to block out the sun. His snores drowned out any thoughts you had of sleeping in for a while, but you eventually stood and stretched to start the day. The beauty of the sun shimmering through the leaves and broken bits of paint drew you outside into the morning light. You picked off a piece and held it in your hands, admiring the way the dew settled so gently on its edges. As you enjoyed the moment a sound caught your attention, and you could just see two figures pressed up against the wall of one of the small structures out behind the house. Stretching as far as you could over the railing, you caught a glimpse of Tilly’s yellow gown as she and the other person moved out of your sight. A giggle floated through the air and you froze, knowing what kind of sound that was. Tilly wasn’t alone, but she definitely wanted to keep up the illusion and not be found.

You smiled and made your way downstairs, pondering about who the lucky person could be. More than once you had caught Javier speaking in hushed tones to Tilly and thought they would be very suitable together, she seemed to bring a softer side out of the passionate man.

But that thought was dashed as Javier greeted you from the gazebo at the front of the property. He was cleaning his fishing pole after returning from a short trip with Hosea. A box of perfectly gutted fish sat next to him and he lightly sang until you approached. Javier was a perfectionist; making sure that each stroke of his blade was worth the effort he put in to move it.

“Morning, YN! Why the face? Something wrong?”

You shook your head, looking around the grounds. “Not wrong, I just thought I knew something but turns out I was wrong. I didn’t have anything figured out.”

“Ah, now I see. And what is it you thought you knew?”

Javier was a proud man and your friend, and you didn’t want to upset him by saying an assumption that was clearly so far from true. You leaned back against the railings of the structure and crossed your arms. “It’s silly. You’ll just laugh at me.”

“Nonsense!” he cried while dropping his fishing pole. He gave you his full attention. “How about I promise not to? Make you feel better?”

Just as you were about to confide in Javier, a soft giggle interrupted your thoughts. From around the back corner of the house Mary Beth walked alone with a flush in her cheeks and a smile across her face. You watched her as she seemed to float by, ignoring everyone who passed in favor of the thoughts moving around her head.

You tilted your head, thinking, when something seemed to settle in place.

“Oh!” You whirled around to face Javier who looked conflicted, eyes darting between you and Mary Beth off in the distance.

“YN, just let it go, don’t say anything you -”

“No, Javier don’t worry!” you smiled. “It’s not, I just saw Tilly out back and thought it was you with her! That’s why I didn’t say anything. But you knew, didn’t you?”

Conflict flashed across his face as he watched you. “I...yes, fine, I knew. Tilly came to me to confide and talk about it, she felt like it was wrong from what others have told her in the past. But...love isn’t wrong, it should be taken and cherished in any form it’s sent. And Tilly is one of the best women I’ve ever met, reminds me why I’m in this gang in the first place.”

“Javier, that was beautiful. And please know I would never say anything to her, the secret is safe with me.”

He sat back relieved and smiled. “Some people don’t get it. Glad you’re a good one.” You chatted for a few more minutes before your stomach gave you away for being starving, and you left Javier to sing again once more. Breakfast had just been served and you wanted to go wake Arthur.

The door pushed open slowly and you found Arthur kneeled down by the bed. He faced you with a smile that melted your heart and you sat next to him, gently squeezing his shoulder before greeting him for the day.

“What are you doing down there, cowboy?”

A smile tugged his mouth to one side at the nick name. “Need to head into the city for a few hours, trying to find something though, ain’t where I left it.”

“Is it by any chance a letter? Perhaps from Mary Linton?”

Arthur had a dark expression on his face for an instant. “You found it.”

“It was on the floor of our room, Arthur, but I thought you would talk about it with me instead of just running off. Is that who you’re going to see? Mary?” Your voice was quiet but steady as you spoke. The emotion coursing through your veins didn’t have a name yet, and you couldn't tell if the beating of your heart came from fear or something else.

“I...she wrote me for help, YN. That’s all.” Arthur avoided your gaze as he spoke. “Mary and I go back, way back, and I swear this is the first time she wrote me in years. I found her in Valentine when her younger brother got involved in something stupid, and now it sounds like her family is in trouble again. I don’t like being yanked every which way, but I owe her.”

“Is that all it is?”

Arthur drew in a sharp breath. “Of course! You think I’m running around behind your back?”

“No,” you looked down at your hands. “But from what she said it didn’t sound like it was the only time you had spoken of late. I get keeping people from your past, Arthur. I’m not mad. I just wanted to hear it from you.”

“I promise, YN, there ain’t anything to tell. Years ago, we were engaged but her daddy knew better than to let his only daughter run off with an outlaw and put his foot down. We tried to stay in touch, didn’t work well. Kept fighting and bringing up things neither of us wanted to discuss. So I told her that if she knew what was best for her to never write again. Turns out she married some old fool; we both moved on.” Arthur shuffled around while talking, clearly a sign of talking of uncomfortable subjects for too long. “Like I said, first time I heard from her in years was needing help back in Valentine. Her brother joined some group, she had me convince him to leave and go home. I’ve always been good at scaring people into doing things they don’t want to and she knew it. I’m not looking forward to going into town, but I don’t like to leave people in need.”

You snorted and thought to yourself before responding. On one hand, it made perfect sense that Arthur would help Mary. She was a single woman in the city with nowhere left to turn, and wasn’t in a position to make it publically known she was in need of assistance. Women who ran families did so at a detriment to themselves, for every move was over analyzed and ridiculed at the first sign of weakness. On the other hand you didn’t want Arthur spending time with someone he used to love and wanted to marry, even if that was years ago. It felt invasive and you made up your mind.

“Arthur I...I don’t think you should go.”

He looked at you surprised. “This ain’t really up for discussion here. She needs help and I’ll see her off.”

Your heart started to pound at the impending conflict. You had always had a small temper and you felt it rise as you spoke, unable to hide how much this choice had hurt you.

“But as your fiance, I thought we would talk about it. Look at it from my point of view; a woman who was engaged to you suddenly wants your help? Right after we get engaged?” Your voice kicked up in volume and you heard the heat in your words. “And what if this isn’t the end of her requests? Will you always just run off after her and leave me here?”

Arthur stood in front of you with a dark look in his eyes. It was times like these that you knew why Strauss sent him off to collect debts. His deep blue eyes had seen many things in their lives and knew how to bend the will of the person before him. It would be terrifying to face this man and hope to win.

As he spoke his shoulders rose in anger. “As my fiance you should trust me, and know I’m making the right call. This ain’t about you, sweetheart, you best leave it alone.”

The use of your favorite term of endearment felt like a slap across the face and you stood to match him. You were unsure of why you spiraled so quickly into anger about this but you felt your hands shake as you balled them into fists at your side.

“Don’t call me that. And answer the question; will you always be running away from me?”

“Only if you sound as shrill as you do right now!”

You took a step back. “What is wrong with you? That’s all you have to say?”

“I’m not...god dammit.” Arthur rubbed his eyes and turned away. “I didn’t mean that, I just, you two get in my head and it -”

“Don’t you dare lump me in with her, Arthur Morgan.”

Your voice was low and cold. The mood in the room shifted from quick, fast anger to something much more permanent and heavy. Arthur turned to face you and it was all you could do to hold his eyes and not burst into tears. This was your first fight over something real and tangible, not the silly squabbles that were fixed with a few words and a smile. At first this thing with Mary was nothing more than a question as to why the letter was hidden away like a secret. But now it felt like you were defending yourself as Arthur’s choice over Mary, which you knew was utterly ridiculous.

Wasn’t it?

He took a deep breath before continuing. “YN, I didn’t mean for this to go so wrong. All I wanted was to help out someone who needed it, and things got all messed up. Please know, darlin’, I would never run away from this, you are exactly who I need.”

It was sweet; a plea and a lifeline that should have ended things right then and there. You should have smiled and sat down to talk about the situation like adults and explained your point of view. But something about that route felt too easy, a way out, so you pushed it to the side and threw your caution to the wind.

“It sounds so nice, doesn’t it?” Your tone caught Arthur’s attention as something was clearly wrong. “That I’m exactly who you need. Wrapped up with a little bow. But there’s something missing, and it’s clear in the way that you want to help Mary. We cannot live together in your life, Arthur, you either have to bury the past and move on with me or ignore what we have for what used to be. I won’t fight you on going to see her today, I don’t like ultimatums. But know I won’t stay if I know your heart is divided.”

With his hands on his hips he walked the length of the room. He picked up a photo and stared, lost in the memory for a moment before setting the frame back down. For a few more minutes Arthur silently stalked the perimeter gathering his thoughts as he went. You felt like your heart was about to leap out of your chest from the way it kept time with his footsteps.

Finally, he broke his silence. “Did you misunderstand me the day I proposed?”

“What?” you sputtered, completely thrown off.

“I asked you, as a woman, to be joined to me, as a man, for better or for worse.” Arthur stridded over and stood before you. “There’s no division in my heart and I won’t stand here and be accused of loving another woman. Now, I’ve done some pretty bad things in this life, but breaking my oath? My word? I would never do that. You know loyalty’s all we got sometimes. As long as you’re going to act like a child, you’ll be treated like a child, so you’ll forgive me if i ignore the nonsense coming out of your mouth.”

You moved to block Arthur as he began to leave the room, but he continued without a glance back and ignored your protests.

“Once we’ve had some time to cool off we can discuss this, but I don’t trust myself not to say something I’ll regret later.” With a tip of his hat he left, the door swinging closed behind him and ended the argument.

In a fit of rage you picked up the nearest photograph and hurled it at the wall, rejoicing in the way the glass shattered into a thousand little pieces. It was satisfying to see something physical to represent how you felt inside, angry and still unwilling to let go of your side. Never had someone had such an affect on you, not your father or your mother or even poor sweet Henry. Arthur Morgan affected you so completely it was enough to make you scream. It made you feel powerless and fully in control at the same time, which when you thought about it too much made your head spin from the beating of your heart and the blood pulsing in your veins.

You stood still to calm yourself down and watched the sunlight pass through the leaves outside the window. They swooped and swayed in the breeze, and thinking of them brought you back to a normal level of thinking. You sighed looking at the damage from your outburst and began to clean up the tiny shards so no one would be hurt later. When you turned the picture over you let out one barking laugh, for you had serendipitously selected the photograph of the woman who brought you to this place; Mary Linton.

The door opened slowly after a soft knock. Abigail stuck her head in and saw you hunched on the ground looking at the broken picture.

“Oh, dear I’m sure we can fix it. Here, let me see the damage.”

“Oh,” you sighed, “it runs deeper than you can see.” You handed her the picture and watched her face intently. At first Abigail was surprised, then confused, and she finally settled on angry.

“Ah. I see she’s finally crawled back out of her hole and wormed her way into Arthur’s life again.” She brushed off the bits of glass and picked up the rest in her skirt, dumping the trash out of the window. “I wasn’t here last time, obviously, but John said she nearly broke him. What a vile woman coming after him now! He’s got you, he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him and she just wants to ruin that.”

Part of you agreed. The selfish, small part of you that wanted to hate this woman because she simply had poor timing. It was the same part that made you lash out at Arthur instead of talking about it, as he so fondly said, like a child. You told Abigail about everything that had happened from the letter to your fight and she listened intently, always paying attention to you.

“She ain’t evil, Abigail. She’s a woman in need. And honestly I should be grateful that I’m with someone who sees the good in the choice he made. Imagine if it was you or me asking, reaching out to someone we knew could get the job done no matter what, for help. Would you want to be turned down just because they’re with someone new?”

Abigail stood by the window, mouth opening and closing as she tried to formulate a response.

“I made a mess of things just because I got a little jealous. Do you think I should go after him?” You watched your friend smile.

“I want to say you should never chase a man after a fight. That it’s his job to come around to your side and see he was wrong, but we both know my experience lies with someone a little less brainy than Arthur.” She moved back to lean against the window frame. “You’re more adventurous than me, YN. You’re brave and smart, so I think we both know that you’re going to go after him and set things right. I’ve always admired your ability to put goodness first. I never got a chance to see that way of life, but I’m sure glad you did.”

You swept Abigail into a hug, laughing. How lucky had you been running into her? She had told you before she rarely befriended people, but something about you made her change her ways in Blackwater and you had found a true life friend. That was something you would always be grateful for.

“Alright then, it’s settled. I’ll head into Saint Denis and track Arthur down so I can apologize for being a total ass.”

Abigail laughed and squeezed your arm. “Well, you’re a lady so I’d say you only have to apologize for being half an ass. Never let them know when he’s seen the whole thing. Sets a standard."

An hour later you were riding off with Charles who had agreed to your plan. He had a need to go into the city anyways, despite hating the place, and thought he knew a good place for you to start your search. Arthur had taken the letter to Mary so no one knew exactly which hotel she was at but there were only a few which meant it would be easy to locate.

"A friend told me to head towards the old market, the one in that alleyway. Not sure why but said I would find it interesting. I'll take you to Arthur on the way."

You didn't reply beyond a nod at the strange request Charles had. The gang often found themselves running errands without knowing the full purpose. It was hot in Saint Denis and you regretted putting on the long dress you had chosen to impress Arthur. Although the colors were beautiful the multiple layers seemed to grow in weight the longer you sat on Eclipse's back, sticking to your skin with sweat.

Charles led you down a maze of streets and you found yourself lost again in the wonder of the city. You knew most of the group hated to be in the pit of civilization because it threatened their ideals and way of life, but you loved the pulsing vibrancy that radiated from people walking down the street and the bustling of change in the air. It felt like each building had a story, good or bad, and was only waiting to be listened to so its secrets could be told. It was exactly what the gang hated that drew you into the melting pot of Saint Denis.

“You say a friend of yours led you to the marketplace? And who might that be?”

As he dismounted, Charles grunted. “Just someone I met who I can trust. He lives in the city, travels around and gives information when he can.”

The two of you stood at the entrance of a street market. Behind you, the train yard was loud and busy with the metal screeching of brakes and shouts going to and fro. You took in the sights and the smell with a deep breath.

“You like it here, don’t you?” You nodded back at Charles. “I can’t stand it. Feel like I can’t watch my back, someone’s always there watching.”

“There’s so much life!”

In the market itself were about a dozen or so stalls, all decorated with bright colors of rugs and food being sold. People shouted their wares and you were tempted to stop and sample a few, but one look at Charles quieted that option. No matter how wonderful everything was around you, Charles Smith was unshaken in his resolve to be stoic and rocklike in appearance.

“I like the feeling of freedom, how it moves in the people. There’s art and education and all of the things I never had sitting right at their fingertips.” You were quiet for a moment as you contemplated the city again. “It’s not jealousy, if that’s what you are thinking. It’s the opportunity to make your own decisions here, to know that you would be allowed to fail and grow. It’s, well, it’s true freedom if you ask me.”

“Not everyone is free here, though, do you know that my child?”

You had made it through the market without anything catching Charles’ eye and as you reached the exit a voice called out to you. A monk in long black robes stood against the stone wall holding a bowl out to you with a few donations thrown in. He had a kind face with lines around his eyes and mouth that deepened when he smiled. While a full beard covered his jaw and neck, his head had been shaved and shone in the midday sun.

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, while you and I are able to walk around and enjoy this beautiful freedom, some are starving and will have to fight just to get by. Are you able to donate so that they won’t go hungry tonight?” The man gently extended the bowl towards you and without any hesitation you dropped in a handful of coins. The man’s smile widened and he put the donation tin down before extending his hand.

You introduced Charles and yourself. “Brother Dorkins, a pleasure to meet you.”

“How are you getting on out here, Brother? Enough food to last?” Charles’ gruff voice spoke behind you and at first you thought he was being sarcastic. But he had a soft look in his eye and you could tell he respected the Brother for using his life to help those less fortunate.

“These are a somewhat apathetic lot, I’m afraid.” Brother Dorkins peeked around the wall into the market as if he was checking on something. You shared a look with Charles before he spoke.

“Our uh, mentor says that America is designed to induce apathy in people.”

“That’s a wonderful insight!” The monk crossed back over and stood in front of you. “He must be a wise man, your mentor.”

“He’s probably the best of the lot of us.” You replied. Charles hid a smile behind his hand as you winked in his direction.

“That’s wonderful. The, the thing is I’m...well, poverty will always be with us, but slavery I-I thought we had banished that.” Standing on his toes Brother Dorkins looked over the stone wall back into the market. You started at his words and saw a flash of anger in Charle’s expression.

“Slavery?”

“Saint Denis is acting as a staging post for shipping slaves off to some of the islands.”

“Where are they coming from?”

“South, mostly Mexico. You should take a look for yourself, I’ve heard that the pawnbroker down the block around the corner, the one with the green door, well they say he sells more than forlorn trinkets.”

Like a bullet Charles took off, shoving through the crowd to get to the pawnbroker. You cast a sympathetic look back at Brother Dorkins and promised to return shortly after dealing with the supposed slavers. Part of you wouldn't believe what you had heard. Slavers? In this day and age? But from the way Charles was dead set on putting a stop to it you realized it must be a reality for people who didn’t look like what folks thought of as ‘American.’

Just as you rounded the corner Charles put an arm up, holding you back. Silently you looked on to see what slowed his war path when you saw him. Holding who you could only imagine was the pawn shop owner pinned to the wall, Arthur hissed a threat out between clenched teeth as a woman stood nearby, peeking around the corner onto the encounter.

“What’s he doing?” Charles shook his head as his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. A few moments went by and finally the shop owner pulled something from his pocket, slamming it into Arthur’s hand as a pass to be let go. Your fiance dropped the man and stalked off down the alley towards the woman as the owner ran back into the green door, slamming it behind him.

“Probably got roped into helping someone...retrieve something.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” you chuckled. The scene disturbed you but it was something you were going to have to deal with later. You walked behind Charles towards the store.

A small bell rang as you entered the cluttered shop. Only a few rooms wide, the shelves were packed to the ceiling and it was a wonder anyone found what they were looking for. Books were next to pictures and boxes of jewelry in odd arrangements and made no organizational sense. It got worse the further you walked, and around the corner you saw the man from the alley wiping his brow.

“Oh, customers. Well if you’re going to buy something, be quick about it and if not, get out.” You placed a hand on Charles’ arm at the man's words and walked up to the counter, leaning over and resting your head in your hand.

“I’m looking for something...special.” You began. The man was still flustered and not paying attention and for the distraction to work he needed to be watching you.

“This is a full shop you must be more specific,” he snapped before finally turning to face you. You batted your eyes and leaned in close to block the view of Charles snooping behind you.

“I was thinking of a necklace, something long and daring. Can you help me out? Want it to hang down to here…” the man’s eyes trailed down your bust as you dragged a finger south to keep his attention. “What do you think?”

“I, umm,” he fumbled with the handkerchief in one hand and his glasses in the other. “I think, hey! You, get away from there.”

As the owner moved around the counter towards Charles you stopped him with the sound of your pistol hammer clicking into a loaded position. He looked down at the cold metal being pressed into his midsection and jumped back, confused about your quick change of appearance. You shrugged, a small smile playing on your lips.

“What on earth is going on here? Is this a robbery?” You shook your head as a loud sound behind you made you watch Charles. He had found a secret doorway behind a bookshelf and dragged the structure away to reveal a set of stairs. He nodded at you then headed down. A sigh escaped from the shop owner before you hushed him, bringing your gun up a bit higher to level with his chest. He must know what was going on.

Not five minutes later Charles emerged with two other men speaking quick Spanish to each other. As the trio left the main room a thought occurred to you.

“Actually, we’re robbing more than your slaves,” you spit out. “Give me the cash in your register and know that if my friends and I hear of more trouble you’re causing that it will be your last. People aren’t objects, you sack of shit.” With the cash in your hand you finally left, feeling good about what you and Charles had accomplished together.

Your victory was short lived however as Charles grabbed you by the shoulder and practically dragged you back towards Brother Dorkins on the other side of the market.

“What the hell!” You hissed.

“Don’t look back, he’s here.”

You rolled your eyes. “We saw Arthur together, ain’t a bad thing to be out -”

“Not Arthur,” Charles looked around before pushing you and the freed slaves at the monk. “Your father.”

“He’s here?” You could feel the blood race through your veins as the adrenaline pumped faster through your body. Your heart kept time with the footsteps all around you and it was suddenly hard to focus.

“Brother Dorkins, you were right. We broke them out and took the cash. Here, please,” Charles handed over the wad of cash you had secured. “Not to cut this short but she has to get out of here.”

The monk nodded solemnly. “God works in mysterious ways, my friends. I see the trolly coming around the corner, perhaps that’s a good escape?”

You nodded. “Charles, go with Brother Dorkins, make sure he gets them out of here safe. I’ll meet you at the end of the line.” He nodded and patted your back, taking one last glance behind you before leaving down the street with the other men.

You anxiously walked towards the approaching street car and flagged it down, desperate to be hidden and out of sight. The driver slowed and waved you up. Just as you took a seat next to a young woman your father walked out to the street, looking around to where you had just been as two of his agents turned back to wade through the market. You ducked down to hide your face, apologizing as you pushed up against your poor neighbor to keep yourself safe. After the trolley moved down around the block you sighed and leaned back.

“I am so sorry, ma’am, please forgive my brutish behaviour. I was trying to escape someone I knew, my father actually.”

At first her dainty features were pulled together in annoyance. It was deserved, you had shoved yourself into her seat and hidden in her dress without saying a word. But after you apologized she softened and laughed lightly.

“I can tell you a thing or two about trying to outrun a father, must be some womanly rite of passage in this city. But all is forgotten.” She fanned her face gently as the afternoon heat hit its peak. “I actually just had a run in with my father myself, chased him all around town just to end up back where I started. What is it about men that they think they can outsmart us?”

You laughed, the tension quickly leaving your shoulders. “Must be something to do with the fact they sired us, like a paternal bond they will forever lord above us.”

“I agree! Although I’ve never heard someone talk about it so boldly as yourself. You sure you’re alright, miss?” You nodded. This woman was sharp and you instantly liked her. It probably had something to do with her not screaming as soon as you sat down and confessed you were outrunning your father.

“I’ll be fine. Truth be told this isn’t the first time I’ve had to hide from him.” You paused for a moment before speaking again. “I probably shouldn’t say that to a stranger.”

At that she held out her white gloved hand in an introduction. “If we’re going to continue to share secrets we can do away with the strangers part. You might as well know my name. I’m Mary. Mary Linton.”

[therealvinelle]

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

[feyreandhercourt]

My Spicy-Hot Take

The difference between theorizing for TOG and ACOTAR is theorizing for TOG made, like, sense. Things certainly evolved through the series but there were a lot of seeds and bits of foreshading laid into the first few books, and that comfortably sustained the next several hundred thousand words. I'm not saying every scene was planned, and it didn't need to be. It certainly helped that it followed one (main) character who had a distinct arc outside romance.

ACOTAR... does not have that. I don't say this in a hating way, at all. But ACOTAR is, IMO, Sarah's world to just do whatever the fuck she wants. Okay we have a bat winged race? Cool, now we're gonna do it with angel wings. Something emotional happens in SJM's life? We can put a few nods in it. Clothing? My girl is in leggings and sweaters. Yes, Feyre can open an art studio. Build-your-own dreamhouse. We want to explore Illyrian culture? Lit. Actually wait we don't want to get to into that? Backtrack. Moriel (tho was it ever a thing)? Elriel? Elucien? Gwynriel? Whatever blows her hair back. An entire set of magic maguffins that people somehow completely forgot about? Why not! (I cannot emphasize enough, this is something I can't see having been in TOG, at least not the way it was handled.) Suicide vows? (FEYSAND BB WTF) oh guess we should go back and have Amren say that's dumb af. Who lives? Who dies? What is Vassa up to? Who knows! The answers are literally always changing

Some things are obviously planned. Nessian was very clearly always gonna happen (though we do have the flames-dresser>>lucien flames theory, so even that isn't really true, let alone how the sisters were characterized in acotar but I am digressing upon digressing). But beyond that, ESPECIALLY with shipping (and I gotta say, I feel like we as a fandom focus on shipping because I honestly cannot tell you what the plot is going forward outside of romance--are we dealing with the human queens, Vassa's thing, the potential Rhysand-dictatorship, the Illyrian uprising??) we have NO solid foundation. Sarah is changing her mind as she is writing. What seems foreshadowed in one book can be tossed by the wayside in the next book.

And this is, I cannot emphasize enough, FINE. It's her story, and as long as she's having fun, more power to her. But there's no point twisting ourselves into pretzels over what the text says (especially from more than one book back) because this is EVOLVING in a clearly unplanned way. Again, I repeat, this is FINE. And I'm not saying don't ship your ships. Ship them. Draw them. Write fics. It keeps the fandom alive and fun. By all means, theorize. Draw text evidence. Spice it up and theorize about whatever the plot is, too.

But the holier-than-thou subtext of a lot of these posts is EXHAUSTING. No one is wrong for what they ship. And no one is "right" because SJM could literally decide ya know what Elain was just a proxy for Azriel and Lucien's repressed feelings for each other and they ride off into the sunset. (Or dawn court, I suppose.) There's no "but actually the text says this" because, guys, the text is super inconsistent. Which is just the nature of SJM writing an explosively successive series that definitely came about when YA was different vs her other series that was planned out for like... a decade.

I love theories. I love text analysis. I read stuff I don't agree with, and I'm just happy to be part of an active fandom. But play nice and accept that SJM is probably gonna invent robots at some point in Prythian.

[hes-writer]

I'm the anon who wrote about the reality-AU ask.

And I have a different view from what you wrote, because for me there where 2 major things:

1. Reader wasn't a strong woman

2. Harry was definitely an arrogant, selfish prick to reader.

I will start with 1.

So, what moral and values? I honestly don't understand that part because for me moral and values mean one thing and I don't see they fitting the situation.

Regardless, MC wasn't a strong woman for several reasons.

She allowed her pain get in the way of her child's life several times, she literally got with the first guy that showed her love when she wasn't ready nor emotionally stable, if we take in mind that she met him at halfway through her pregnancy and in 2 years ish she was already living with him and allowing her child to call him "dad". So she clinged to Connor as a substitute and staple to the family she had planned having with Harry, just like Harry clinged to Camille's offer as a way to have what he dreamed having with Y/N. None of them put their child's best interest first, otherwise she would have found a way to deal with her pain while allowing him to be part of Halo's life and he would have found a way to accept that he would never have what he wanted bc of his mistakes in the past.

And the clearest sign of that is her conversation with Harry in the last chapter. She did love Connor, but he was only there because Harry blocked her. If he hadn't, he'd have seen the text and be involved in his kids life. So, I know you said something about being emotionally available as a parent and that's my argument for that. Harry wasn't emotionally a dad bc that chance was taken from him out of spitefulness and he still tried to be there, he made a mistake but he never gave up. He was robbed of it countless times bc MC was never healed properly to let go of her personal feelings and focus on Halo, bc I can guarantee you that if given the chance, Halo would forget it and choose to have a relationship with Harry.

Which brings me to my previous point... He wasn't Halos dad, MC made him her dad because she didn't want to deal with Harry when she knew that he had a right to at least be informed about the baby, regardless of her relationship with him. In the story you make it known that he blocked her and that's how she couldn't tell him, but she kept in touch with his family + he contacted her at some point. So, she uses her own actions against him and he let's her out of guilty, showing a bit of manipulation from her side. Both of them were toxic and manipulative. Just bc you were hurt, doesn't give you a right to act as you please, speacially when a child is involved. That shouldn't even be put to argument and I'd have agreed with you more if you hadn't tried to classify MC as a victim at all costs, even when she was the wrong one.

If this was real life, a girl behaving like her would be concerning, so why in a fanfic she's considered strong? Because she standed up for herself and for her daughter? I mean, did she truly stand up for her child? Can we truly say that? Or did she allow her own barriers and insecurities surround them and keep Harry distant? Wouldn't a healed and strong woman be capable of dealing with her ex for their's daughter sake, speacially when she's in a happy and healthy relationship?

Parents are allowed mistakes. None of them know what they're doing and the greatest majority of the world is filled with people who weren't mature enough to be parents, yet somehow were allowed to.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry for all the pain he caused her.

He left her, so she didn't tell him about their baby, then when he found out she monopolised his entire relationship with his daughter and did some pretty illegal stuff, and when he committed his first mistake with the child she cut him off completely without taking in account what her daughter wanted.

Have you watched the show The Duchess on Netflix? I think its a great example of my point here, in case you don't understand it.

Also, forgot to say that she was toxic again when she kept threatening him over wanting to be with his kid. Like, we spend tons of times telling people to be responsible with their art, as it can be a door into introducing kids to things. We also spend a ton of time telling boys that they should care about their babies and be there for them. Then you come and write a fic where the guy gets threatened and manipulated when trying to be with his 🤷🏻‍♀️

MC definitely had her right to commit her own mistakes, as I said, parents will do it countless times. But I think that's a bit unfair that she gets as many as she wants bc she got hurt previous to baby being born, yet Harry barely gets one when trying to figure himself out after finding out about his kid. You mentioned that a judge would never give Harry any custody bc of what he did and that was a bit dumb, sorry. Law is based on justice, balance and protecting the victim with fairness and justice, therefore Harry would have been granted at least the benefit of the doubt as his mistakes were minor and the victim in this story is Halo, not MC✌🏽

This is a long one.

Morals and values are not fitting in the situation.

Morals are personal beliefs that a person upholds and values are something that are regarded as important. I think that everybody uses them in most of the things they do so they definitely fit the situation.

She literally got with the first guy that showed her love...

I wouldn’t say that MC clung unto Connor and got into a relationship with him right away. The first couple of instances—they were just friends and weren’t officially together until Reign.

None of them put their child’s best interest first // Reader wasn’t a strong woman

I agree that both parties didn’t act on the best interest of their child but that doesn’t necessarily mean that MC wasn’t a strong woman. Sure, she wasn’t ideal in the context of being a mother—but she mended herself enough to give Harry a chance when he found out, even setting up limits while she was at it.

Wouldn’t you think that that takes courage? Besides the preceding fact that it is courteous to tell someone that you’re having their baby (no argument there), especially to someone who has cheated and betrayed your trust, you are sweeping the pain away. MC was letting Harry back in even if she personally didn’t want to. Harry was a huge part of her life so I think reminiscing on their relationship would never cease; they have a kid together. All the good and bad of their time together will always be present in her mind.

Harry was robbed [of being a dad]

You think that Harry was robbed of being a Dad, I can’t convince you otherwise. You said it yourself though, ‘if Harry hadn’t blocked MC, he would’ve seen the text and he would’ve been a dad to Halo’.

But he did—and the following points of your argument are, in a sense, irrelevant because what you’re pointing out is what could’ve happened if Harry didn’t do what he did. These are the consequences of his actions. “He blearily remembered bitterly blocking her number just as she texted “I need to tell you something,” <- That scene was the turning point of MC’s decision and frankly, a showcase of Harry’s immaturity. MC said she had something to tell him and he retaliated by blocking her.

As well, you mention, ‘if given the chance, Halo would forget about it’—there’s a lot of assumptions in your argument because these aren’t part of the original story. These are what you think should’ve happened.

He blocked her [...] but she kept in touch with his family

MC kept in touch with his family on the pretext that they wouldn't inform harry that the baby was his. This was because of a misunderstanding due to a post on Camille's IG page. H seemed happy with his new relationship. MC didn't NOT tell him out of SPITE—it was because she didn't want to ruin his relationship with Camille.

Harry contacted her at some point // Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the right to act as you please

Yes, Harry did contact her—to call her a ‘whore’ and stated that she ‘probably slept around’ during their relationship. [ie. Harry: Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?”] I’m guessing that’s probably not the best way for H to ask about MC’s pregnancy and I can imagine that the sheer rudeness and projection will deter most people.

His dialogues were an attack on her personality (that she was a liar and disloyal), on the validity of her emotions (that she was faking them), and on her identity as woman solely because he was crumbling under the truth that he was the one who messed up. I mentioned before that Harry’s insults were a projection as a result of his defence mechanism. Meaning that he was—to some extent—aware that MC hadn’t cheated but convinced himself otherwise to feel less guilty. Therefore, at the end of Halo, he judged the credibility of their child.

If this was real life...

And this is a fanfiction.

Once again, MC might not have been the ideal representation of a strong woman, but she stepped up when Halo was introduced.

Imagine going through a break-up with your SO of two years while you’re pregnant because he went behind your back FOR A YEAR, amidst hormonal changes, still going to work, and trying to find yourself when someone has taken so much of you—that’s traumatizing. Healing isn’t linear. Just because you’re wounded doesn’t mean that you’re not strong.

She was unfair and subconsciously used her child to get back at Harry

MC was honest but she wasn’t truthful. Her intentions were human nature yet keeping Halo away from Harry wasn’t very truthful of her—in legalities and such.

I don’t think MC monopolized H/H’s relationship. She gave Harry a chance to bond with Halo, and they did. As mentioned, MC had set limits and boundaries when discussing Harry’s presence in their daughters’ life. It was a legally binding, word-of-mouth, agreement that Harry assented to.

[he was] threatened and manipulated

In that sense, Harry’s hostility towards MC in Reign was threatening her decision to have him around [ie. You’re not something I would take the time to handle,” // You’re a goddamn mistake is what you are,’]

I understand your concern and I apologize for that. I’m not explicitly saying that this one piece of fiction is satirical in the sense that it’s the opposite of what society chants because that would be vile of me to do. Every circumstance is different though—it really is a choice of preference, validation and weighing out the subject matter.

You mentioned that a ‘judge would never give Harry custody’ and that was a bit dumb...

That line was never part of the story.

"Take it up legally if you'd like. Want to have a custody battle? Bring it on. Let's see whose side the judge is on after they find out that you cheated on me while I was pregnant with Halo."

Suggesting that the conclusion can be one of shared-custody wherein MC has more time with Halo (80/20 visitation schedule).

[gothic-gnosis]

hi

i know you might not text me ever again

but i wanna get out how im feeling. so a tumblr post will suffice.

i miss you a lot. a lot more than i really admit. i'm sorry.

it really sucks that i cant ever say anything to your face. or i just push and push. i lied about you not being my favorite person. obviously, you caught on but you have to understand. i dont wanna get hurt. i dont want to be pushed away or rejected or told i'm crazy. i didnt want you to leave. i didnt mean to push you into not talking to me ever again. i'm sorry for pushing that on you when you had enough going on. like wtf dude LMFAO that was kinda rlly fucking awful. and it hurt pretty bad too.

which isnt your fault, i'm not blaming you or asking for an apology or anything considering i hurt my own feelings. but holy shit, did that fucking hurt.

you obviously know i smoke a lot of weed but its gotten so much worse because now i smoke everytime i think of you. i miss you so bad but i feel like i shouldnt. i shouldnt have let myself fp you. i shouldve avoided you. this wouldnt be happening if id taken my own advice and taken the hint that i shouldve left you alone.

i dont think i deserve really. anything from you. i dont even know why you kept responding to me, i mean. i know that i text pretty heavily and never take hints ever but wtf dude. i mean, i know i asked that one time and you hit me with the uno reserve but damn dude. i be overthinkin like everything.

i think about the time you tied my boots a lot. i even took a photo after cause im a psycho and wanted the photo. but tiktok told me only boys who like u do that.

and then it hits me. u were probably only nice to me because you wanted to fuck. ooops. and the worst part is, i was being obsessive without even realizing. like i recognized "ok, dont fp this person cos ull get hurt like a dumbass" but. see, the thing is, you told me i was pretty. and now i wanna fucking die. i feel like god now, people see my face for the first time and it always becomes topic of discussion, and i dont bring it up first. like.. coworkers comment on my face, like my nose being straight and my cheekbones like.. thats what people notice after my eyes, my literal favorite feature. i even put a fucking needle through my face over it LMFAO. like now my egos a lil bit inflated. the thing is. everybody is pretty here. really pretty. we live in fucking san diego and are surrounded by like. rlly rich ppl who can afford body mods and shit. if people are telling me im pretty, i dont think theyre lying anymore. especially being in the beauty industry..

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION

i found out i have pretty privilege. like.. imagine. me being pretty enough to get stuff just cause of it. like, i have no job history or really any experience at all in customer service or hair at all after graduating school. my first job EVER was the salon. and they never fucking hire people without hella experience, im SO fucking under qualified but cause im tiny pretty goth girl with fuckin JOKES and shit, how tf can u pass up my dumb ass LMFAO

also, idk if you see me on ur fyp cause i exist on tiktok now. prolly not, cause im dumb. i feel like one day ill think about this and think its hilarious cause im not only oblivious but fucking Stupid.

i know one day youll text back. only when youre ready though. i think our relationship will definitely stay platonic considering i'm moving to seattle in less than a month and you seem like you kinda depend on fucking something, my dude. LIKE HONESTLY YOU KINDA TOLD ME SO MANY SUSPECT THINGS AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE. DUDE THATS SO BAD. i def feel like youre lying about your body count, but i definitely believe ur a thot who're, sir.

anyways im back after getting high and listening to bowie. uh. its 2:22.