#i'm so mf exhausted my dude

[chiyeko-kurea]

Just venting:) If you like reading ig

I felt so ugly recently. The kind of ugly that feels different.

So there was dude at school (im in the equivalent of US 12th grade) that I thought liked me since we had quite a few eye contacts and shit, and I felt him staring a couple times. Also there was an *event* that would be kinda long to explain but anyway I really thought he kinda liked me, or at least fucking noticed me.

But then nothing much, I glanced at him when he was around but nothing.

Then my knees got bad again -not that they ever really get better- so I had to take my fucking crutch (which paradoxically make me feel more tired at the end of the day but hey, at least I don't fall pathetically in front of everyone.) First shitty thing, a friend from class and I were waiting in front of the examination room because we had an oral exam and, guess who arrives to wait in front of the classroom just next to ours? Yup, this guy. Out of all the possible classrooms and time slots. Anyways, he's walking down the hallway and when he has to walk in front of me (and my friend), without even glancing at me, he weaves in some sort of way that I interpreted as 'ew', because me and my damn crutch were taking all the space. So I was just like 'oh' inside. Second thing, the other day I was climbing up -"limping up" ig- the stairs with my crutch, and it was one of my bad days (greasy hair, eye bags worse than usual, my ugly a$$ glasses because I couldn't see a damn thing.) I was exhausted and trying to lift myself up every step while holding my crutch with my other hand (mf old building from XIX century with a uselessly huge amount of stairs) and I run into him again. He goes up the stairs, slowing down when he reaches my level and gives me the LEAST discreet side eye. He had a look on his face like 'wtf's going on with her'. Not worried, just curiosity, enough to make him look but not enough to stop and ask what's wrong or offer help.

Just like fucking everybody, I guess.

The same kind of glance everybody gives me, full of questions. Why do I have only one crutch? Why do I have a limp? What's wrong with me? Why do I move like I'm 80 when I'm young? Why am I in pain? Am i faking it? But then, they're obviously not going to actually ask, and they walk past me, and forget about me, but I don't.

When I go out, people don't notice the hair I spent so much time straightening, or the way I absolutely nailed my eye makeup and my lip combo looks so good on me, they don't notice my outfit or jewelry no matter how much it shines and how the gold of my earrings matches the one of my rings and necklace and bag. They notice the crutch. The limp. And they stare. First their eyes fall on my gait and slides up the crutch to look at my face, and that's when they see I'm already looking at them. And it's weird to see a young woman, a girl, like that. And I know they're not thinking 'what a pretty girl', they're thinking 'what's wrong with her'.

And that's a funny thought, because I don't even know myself.

Anyways. Yeah I feel ugly, because I wish I was looked at for my appearance, the way people silently stare at gorgeous girls in public. But I'm not even pretty, and I guess I wish I was just ignored.

I wish I was normal.

[hoshigray]

Omg great minds think alike I guess 🤭🤭 I’m more of sukuna/toji girlie, but sometimes I’m thinking about adding gojo to the mix lmao. Like him in threesome with mf he’s beefing with?? Either toji or sukuna would be hilarious, pleaseee 😭 When you fucking with both toji and gojo they definitely gonna ask you in the end who was better lmao

Lmao now tojikuna x reader I have done before :333 and gojokuna I've had in my drafts for like....5+ months??? 😀😀😀😀 but Gojo and Sukuna would actually be JOKES, lmao! Like they literally can't stand each other, insults in every single sentence. I fr need to finish that fic, NOT THIS MONTH THO, I'm hella busy this week, so hopefully mayyyyybe I can touch up on it the week after (if I remember lol)

omfg but gojo and toji is fr a comedy, lmaooo! like poor reader bro, you will know NO rest between these two because they compete for your affection in two different approaches: gojo is younger and way more expressive with his love for you, dude's buying you gifts, texting you every hour like the big loverboy he is, and taking you out to fancy restaurants like inflation is not an economic problem as of now?!? and toji is older and a lot more reserved, holding your waist to keep you close when y'all are out in public, or doing small things bc he likes to be private (surprise you with your favorite flower, take you out to his fav ramen joint, leave a voice note for you to hear when you wake up, etc.). Oh nah, them asking who's better is so on brand 💀💀💀 and you'd be too exhausted to answer, prob pass right out after them using you like a toy the whole night, hehe~

[cherry-velvet-skies]

It's time for more Beatle Era Ratings! (I fixed the title 😌)

Episode 3: Johnny Boy 🥰

Moon Dog (Pre-Beatles Era)

Teddy Boy John somehow looks older than when John was actually older

He gives the vibe of a teenage boy who dresses to look older in order to get into an adult rated movie lmao

Formed a band and felt like the coolest guy in the world (and you know what he unknowingly created one of the greatest bands in the world so he's allowed to feel that way)

6/10 because he looks great but the look is not really for me

Twist and Shout (1962-63)

And just like I thought, he looks younger here than the previous era

John Lennon if he were an android in Detroit Become Human

He looks so uncomfortable dressed like this PLEASE 😂 someone help him

4.5/10 and I know the second they walked off stage he would rip this jacket right off lmao

Cuddle Bug (1964-66)

One of John's best eras and that's a fact

He's so friend-shaped I'm gonna cry

This haircut suited him so well and gave him an all-around adorable vibe

100/10 and I have a personal vendetta against anyone who ever made him feel bad about his appearance 😤

Blue Meanie Defender 3000 (1967)

If you ever wanna know what the people in the late 60s who experimented with any drug they could find looked like, just picture this mf

Bro saw God at some point and God was a walrus apparently

But this was when he actually got glasses instead of just being fucking blind all the time so I guess that's good

7/10 although I can't tell if being around him when he's high would've been nonstop laughs or literal hell on earth

AnD nOw YoUr hOsTs fOr tHiS eVeNinG (1968-69)

An absolute gremlin of a man

But I mean if I was in his shoes I would just randomly scream for no reason too so I get it

If Get Back taught us anything it was that mans hardly showered

6.5/10 the vibes are hella confusing but not terrible. Sense of humor was off the charts though

Bigger Than Jesus (1970)

So far John's Jesus era was the fanciest

The fur coat and wool cap are giving Bratz doll

Speaking of Bratz dolls John would've loved early 2000s fashion I JUST KNOW IT

9/10 he would've worn Juicy tracksuits religiously and ate us all up

I Sleep Well, Thanks (1971-72)

Exhausted dude at his office job who just wants to go home and get high

You know what scratch that he shows up high and has the nerve to act surprised when he can barely function

Survives purely off of spite

6.5/10 he wants to cause problems on purpose

I Am the Egg Man (1973)

I'm not even sure I have the certification to comment on this

Seeing John almost bald feels sacrilegious

He looks like one of those unhinged yoga instructors

2/10 I am very uncomfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today

Freelance Artist (1974-77)

In his academia era

His aura feels like one of those people who you go to their apartment and it's full of giant canvases with art that deserves way more recognition

That Elvis pin is iconic

10/10 and this entire photoshoot is honestly so beautiful I wish I could've included all the photos

Sexy Valet Driver (1978-79)

I absolutely adore the tie and waistcoat combo

It gives me an immense level of gender envy, and John is not immune to that lol I wanna look the way he does in this photo so bad

He looks both cute and handsome but I can't decide which one tips the balance

20/10 if I saw him dressed like this I would definitely compliment him (and maybe ask him out if I was feeling brave 🤭)

Eccentrically Reserved Fashion Designer (1980-∞)

Are we gonna pretend that he didn't look absolutely GLORIOUS this year

I think I have to say this one is a dilf era because oh my god

I secretly think John would've been a great fashion designer idk he seems like he has the correct amount of insanity to pull it off

542/10 and it's a shame we never got to see how he would've evolved physically, and even personality-wise, as the years went on. I feel like he would've been a better person as he got older and I wish we would've gotten to see it 🥺💕

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #16

16. We Buy Diabetic Test Strips - Armand Hammer

Main genres: Experimental Rap, Abstract Rap

A decent sampling of: Hardcore Rap, Conscious Rap, Industrial Rap, Political Rap, Cloud Rap

Why yes, I am a white nerdy indie rock fan who is also a big fan of experimental hip hop and loves Billy Woods projects. Shocking, I know.

Armand Hammer have been building a reputation for themselves for a good while now as one of the best 'underground' hip hop projects out there. And it isn't hard to see why.

These dudes are mad creative, spitting rhymes with a nice mix of esoteric wordplay and revolutionary messaging over beats that are always disorienting and challenging. And Billy Woods' disciplined, syncopated flow of sharp wit and bleak observations has a lot of natural chemistry with Elucid's more intuitive and rhythmically jerky, hardcore-meets-abstract style.

Shrines was a highlight of my 2020, spent in a lot of isolation and thinking about the systems that had gotten us to this crummy point in time. Meanwhile, 2021's Haram was a little bit less of a memorable project for me.

As for this one - yeah this one might just be my favourite project from the duo yet.

We Buy Diabetic Test Strips is a melting pot of tricky and eccentric beats, anxious, avant-garde production, and a plethora of lyrical topics ranging from religion to philosophy, race, sexual encounters, hustling under capitalism, and subverting the establishment, turning these ingredients into a viscous, complex bitter juice with the distinctly metallic scent of blood. This mf is dense, more so than probably any other rap album I listened to this year.

JPEGMafia's production work is sprinkled throughout this project. Apparently he used to have beef with these guys? Idk, it's exhausting to keep up with artists dissing other artists, and ol' Peggy seems to have beef with a lot of folks. Regardless, the dudes made up, and this has probably been my favourite year for him appearing on projects, between this and his collab album Scaring The Hoes (which just got snubbed from the honourable mentions, but I'm sure plenty enough people have already written praises for that one for their own year end lists anyway).

Anyhow, let's get on with the track breakdowns.

"Woke Up and Asked Siri How I'm Gonna Die" (song title of the year, obviously) is slick fucking cloud rap, like a soft layer of gossamer gauze obscuring images of carnal sex and the ugly feeling of emptiness. Very rapturous sound design throughout.

"When It Doesn't Start With A Kiss" is a maelstrom of a hip hop track, going from bubbly, uncharacteristically melodic electronic production during Elucid's verse efore being completely submerged in echoing, deep sea depths on Billy's.

A chilling marimba line opens "I Keep A Mirror In My Pocket", which turns into a clangorous changing meter featuring vibraphone, toms and kicks, and periodic alarm sounds coming from some weird-ass sample. Hallucinatory and abrasive all at once, like being haunted by some demonic tinnitus. I could see how this track would be off-putting to some with more sensitive ears, but I am a real masochist for the kind of organized chaos displayed on this track.

"The God's Must Be Crazy" tackles the CIA's involvement in the crack cocaine crisis which wreaked havoc in Black American communities in the late 20th century. The beat jitters with fidgety anxiety, brilliantly recreating the atmosphere of journalists unraveling dangerous, classified truths, nervous addicts that can't sit still, and the general horror of bearing witness to a drug crisis. The wordplay on this is also just godlike. Perhaps their best track yet.

I do think the mid-section kind of totally dominates this record. Tracks 4 through 8 are mostly mind-blowing, but then I'm a bit worn down by the last stretch of tracks, penultimate "Switchboard" notwithstanding, which is definitely another standout cut.

It could definitely also be that I just haven't spent enough time with this one - Armand Hammer's music is like a fine wine with many notes, and it takes time to unravel all of the wordsmithery, old hip hop references, socio-political history, and heavily layered production with multi-faceted beats that resist predictability.

Either way, Armand Hammer are still dishing out some of the craziest beats and flows left and right all over this thing. Nobody could call these guys unoriginal, and I don't see the duo slowing down any time soon. We Buy Diabetic Test Strips proves that Armand Hammer are still one of the most essential acts out there that are really working to keep the world of hip hop music endlessly fresh and groundbreaking.

8/10

Highlights: "The Gods Must Be Crazy", "I Keep a Mirror in My Pocket", "Woke Up and Asked Siri How I'm Gonna Die", "When It Doesn't Start With a Kiss", "Switchboard", "Niggardly (Blocked Call)"

[slvrtonguedchild]

wow, really?

damn, its only been a little over a week and i already feel so exhausted from the fast pace lifestyle out here. its even crazier that i've lived in the US before, but didn't expect that it could get like this. everything is pretty much attainable, so many things can be delivered to your door too! amazon doesn't take weeks to come to your door, and you could even request groceries! RANT: hah, its crazy to think how peoples true colors come out. yall be super sensitive and just try to cover your asses. i think i've got to lift my wall a bit more, this shit is nuts. i've really got to get my stuff together in case things hit rock bottom for me. i'm on a mission to hold true to my worth, be independent, and have back-up plans. this world is too messy. ALSO, i hate "bittermelon" so, so much. that vegetable has never sat right with me either. yuck. i usually don't dislike things like that easily, but i can't. i'm not dumb dude. that's just fucking wrong. SO wrong. i'm collecting dirt everyday as much as possible just so i can prove points and find an escape if i need too. i'm so tired of this crap man. maybe i shouldn't of ever left my home, my island. i'm missing my family and friends so much. ; u ; wish we could go on adventures together again, blast the music, get lost somewhere and make more stupidly fun memories. lets move to the backseat, so i can wrap my hands around you and comfort you. suck my dick. gross ass mf.

[heartbeatens]

[ideks-on-mars]

AFTER THE SPICY REONSEMISHIRA HCS MY MIND HIT A WALL BUT LUCKILY WE GOT @loganboba SO THANK YOU LOG LMFAO

ANYWAYS REONSEMISHIRA BEACH DAY HCS FOR SUMMER LETS FUCKING GO

- Now idk if yall have SEEN Shirabu but the mf just looks like he needs to go outside.

- He looks like the most he goes outside is to walk from the dorm rooms to the gym, if he even has to do that. (Do you guys REMEMBER how luxurious that school looked?? They had a fucking hallway that went from one building to another, IN THE AIR, AND IT WAS JUST A SCHOOL! Maybe I'm the one that needs to get out more.)

- Reon most definitely is a beach bum. He's like the moms who just sit on the chairs the whole time saying "Oh you go on in the water, I'll join in a bit", and he's said that 5 times in the last hour and a half.

- Semi has the mental capacity of a 5 year old as soon as his feet hit the sand. (Not that it's too much better when he's off of it)

- Reon drives, Shirabu sulks in the backseat, and Semi is blaring the radio. Shirabu was this 🤏 close to taking the laces off his shoes and using it to strangle him.

- Reon would reach back to rub at Kenjirō's leg from time to time just to keep him calm 😭

- When they finally get there, Semi, Mr tough guy, Eita decided that he would do the heavy lifting. And by heavy lifting he offered to carry the big ass cooler through the sand. Which is a lot harder than some may think.

- Shirabu looks like the type to wear some expensive ass, brand name sunglasses.

- Reon has the honor of rubbing his boyfriends down with sunscreen. Shirabu and Semi fight for who gets Reon. They then continue on to make it a competition on who can rub down Reon the fastest. Reon's already exhausted and they just got there.

- Once they finally settle in their spot, they've only got one problem left.

- The eyes on them 👀

- Semi and Reon are (super) attractive dudes. So is Shirabu but he's chilling in swimming trunks and a rash guard. (Which is pretty hot ngl, the short tight sleeves that show off him arm and shoulder muscles and how it rides just a tiny bit up his neck PHEW 🥴😩) but then there are Semi and Reon who are wearing swimming trunks and nothing else. Just them, the swimming trunks, and their rippling abs.

- Good thing they have their gremlin boyfriend to fend their admirers off.

- It's ok tho, cuz they gotta fend off the people who Shirabu is too distracted to notice staring at HIM. (Aka ME)

- Ok you will find this hc in the very DEPTHS of this account but SemiSemi was born in Hawaii, raised in Alabama. So he's an American ass country boy but he can ride a wave too. THE MF CAN SURF

- AND MY GOD DOES HE LOOK GOOD WHILE HE DOES IT

- Semi lowkey reminds me of Tom Cruise in the first 'Top Gun' idk why

- Anyway it definitely has Shirabu and Reon foaming at the mouth

- Now it's my turn to thirst over Reon 🥴

- When I tell you this man has the most BEAUTIFUL COMPLEXION

- You know those slow motion moments in the movies where the hot character turns around and the sunlight just bounces off their face PERFECTLY?

- YEAH THAT'S REON CUZ HIS SKIN IS JUST SO GORGEOUS

- They honestly all have such pretty undertones when it comes to their skin. Kenjirō's got this pinkish-red undertone, Semi's got a golden orange and Reon has this brighter orange type of one.

- THEY JUST WORK IT SO WELL

- Semi is desperate to drag both his boyfriends in the water at least ONCE during the trip.

- They both know how to swim. Shirabu's actually a really good swimmer.

- But Shirabu, local rich kid, probably grew up swimming in indoor pools and stuff

- Reon looks like he grew up going to camp grounds so he's probably swam in lakes and stuff.

- Semi just thinks he's straight out of H2O

- "Come ON Kenji, it's just some water" "YEAH, REALLY DISGUSTING WATER!"

- "If you think about it, there are a whole lot of dead bodies in the ocean, but people still swim there. But if there was a single dead body in a pool, no one would swim in there. So does that mean that people care about the dead body to water ratio?" "I mean..I guess? If you just keep the dead body away from you does it really matter?" "Of course you wouldn't care, Eita."

- Semi definitely gets completely wet and then chases Shirabu around.

- "I JUST WANNA HUG YOU KENJI! I LOVE YOUUU!" "GO AWAY!" The whole while Semi has this shit eating grin on his face

- Shirabu's scary so Semi ends up tackling Reon. And sweet, sweet Reon just hugs him back and fixes his hair :( a little kiss on his nose too 😙

- Shirabu gets jealous and gently pushes Semi.

- "Reon's MINE. Back off ✋️🙄"

- Semi promptly grabs him and hauls ass with a screaming Shirabu in his arms.

- Long story short Shirabu ends up wet, wrapped in a towel in Reon's lap, glaring straight daggers at Semi.

- Semi, pretty successfully, gets his boyfriends to play in the water with him. It's a lot of splashing each other and they bring a volleyball too just to pass around.

- They end up eating snacks all hunched over on a towel with a towel around them and their hair plastered to their foreheads. Like when you and your mom's friend's kids would take a break from swimming typa beat 😭

- Eventually they decide to pack up and go home, all tired and sandy. Mostly because if the setters see Reon glowing in the light of the sunset any longer than what they have, they might just pass out.

- Semi and Shirabu race to the car. Shirabu wins and doesn't fail to rub it in Semi's face.

- They pack up and as soon as they get on the road and are all sat and comfortable, they can hear Semi begin to snore.

- Homeboy was OUT 😭

- Shirabu definitely takes pictures while Reon giggles at their antics.

- The rest of the ride goes smoothly. Semi sleeping in the back with Reon and Shirabu talking in whispers, their hands interlocked.

- Once they get back they all rinse off before tumbling into bed together.

- Bonus if Reon ends up with weird tan lines because Semi and Shirabu were rushing too much 💀🤙

HAPPY (almost if you're not out yet) SUMMER BREAK!!

[curseofaphrodite]

HIIII FIRST OFF CONGRATS AGAIN FOR GETTING 1.5K <3

May I please get

👠| diamonds on my wrists —personal headcanons (5-10) with your fav comfort character.

For a little paragraph about me, huh kay I've no idea what I'm writing so I'm an ISFP, Slytherin, and a Scorpio. My pronouns is she/her. I'm 5'4 and my friends would just call me an annoying little pest ✋🏻 I'm 19 (and I never fucking learned how to read!1!) Love the beach but hates the sea bcs we literally don't know what's in there. I'm not really loud, unless it's with the people that I'm close with ( but when I do it's really bloody loud so there's that). I LOVE HORROR MOVIES✨ I like to sit and just watch the rain while Taylor's Folklore is on shuffle at the background, but then night came and the playlist would be Reputation and other bangers song bc ✨personal concert ✨. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. And my comfort character is my dear Moony<3

THANKS ASTORIA, sending lots of love and hugs to u!

join the celebration!

your personal headcanons are below the cut, hope you like it mwah. got a bit longer shdjkf <3

first up, can I say how perfect the two of you are? like your traits are what he needs and his traits are your missing puzzle pieces.

dont get it? ill explain.

imagine you go camping with the marauders. its early morning, you're up and watching the sunrise with remus, who'd rather sleep but was there only cause of you.

and he ends up NOT regretting it because omg the sight was so breath-taking?? and so were you??

and when you work too hard or run too fast and exhaust your energy by being you 24/7, he's the one you reminds you to rest.

by remind I mean he forces you to rest.

by force I mean he picks you up and lays you on the bed, all the while you're screaming and blushing.

see? perfect for each other.

he likes hugging you from behind, cause you're his own teddy bear.

will not get jealous easily, but when he does it's mostly insecurities.

like, I know he's not dramatic as sirius but at times he WILL put a whole damn show.

when a random dude smiled at you, he went through a full speech of "I know I'm not good enough for you, and if you wanna pick him, do it, I won't be mad..."

(goes on like that for a while until you get bored and switches on the TV)

he'll come to his senses soon enough. what follows are apology cuddles!

but if he gets jealous during that time of the month, he'll get really possessive. 😩

okay and get this, one day you asked him over for movie night.

he thought it was a sweet little rom com. (you forgot to mention it was horror)

when it started, it showed some people camping. He was digging in popcorn when the murders started and he went "wait wtf, scorpi which movie is this?"

you blinked innocently. "are you scared?"

"no!"

he's scared.

you hug him close when it gets too much, which he appreciates. also cause when you hug him, he can close his eyes and not watch anything for a while.

clever mf.

yall would live like a fluffy taylor song.

sweaters, forehead kisses, whining when he doesn't get your attention, you get all of it.

happy fooking couple

*cries*

invite me to the wedding pls.

[hematomes]

I used to have sheets and such that were Soft and had this.. fur-texture on them

They were godly

Nothing could beat taking a warm shower and then sliding into still dry-warmed freshly washed sheets while also having freshly shaved legs. I may be a dude but god. The feeling of dolphin-smooth legs? I'm a sucker for that.

Fuck being "manly" I just wanna be comfortable (and maybe cute)

~Game Anon

that sounds absolutely fantastic if i wasn't exhausted and hadn't already taken a shower earlier todah i would take one rn ong

also whoever decided that shaving was for women was the dumbest mf in the world. shave away if you want my guy, no one should care. also yes smooth skin feels so good DAMN putting on stockings on freshly shaved legs is.... amazing 12/10 would recommend

(wanting to be cute is also valid btw)

[alyxbobalyx]

Back on my hating my job bullshit. I can't help but feel guilty feeling this way tho. I make good money and it's so comfortable and steady. But it's still just.. idk what it is about it man. I just can't stand being there. Maybe I need to bring some mf sage or some shit. Like, I just hate the company I work for. I don't mind MY boss, but I can't fucking stand, nor trust, anyone above him. It's like, they don't give two fucking shits about how our job affects our lives. They have no fucking clue how our job works, in general. I'm just so fucking tired of this shit and it's hard to be grateful sometimes, if I'm being 100% honest. It's so hard. And I know I'm so spoiled. I know I have it so, so, so good. There's not a job out there that offers the same benefits, luxuries, and pay that they do, let alone to someone without a 4 year degree. So I feel incredibly trapped; And guilty for feeling trapped! It's exhausting. Like, I appreciate my job, and hate it at the same time. And what about it do I actually hate? Is it the customers? The hours? The expectations put on us by our superiors? The way the whole company is ran? Idk man. Maybe all of that. Maybe I just hate having obligations. But dude, I never hated going to Target when I was a GSA. But, then again, I didn't hate ES right away, nor did I hate sales right away. Idk. I just hope to God I can find peace and joy in a career in my future. Because getting up everyday to go to a job you hate is draining.