#i'm supposed to be working too but ive had such a shit few days that i need a moment to think about something other than work

[shadowglens]

someone please give me strength, i’m about to start trying to put together a budget for myself

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Ravel

A Seams Christmas special oneshot | Moodboard

{ Part IV: Notch | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: T

Summary: Joel swings by yours with a little something before Christmas dinner at Tommy and Maria's.

Warnings: Unapologetic fluff and softness, inspired by this ask from @casssiopeia from the beginning of the year, no use of Y/N, very lightly edited

Word count: 2k

Notes: I'm so proud of writing up this little drabble. I've been in such a weird place with my writing, I'm just happy to end the year on a creative high. Obviously, I'm a few days late to Christmas, but better late than never!

There is a voice in my head telling me that this isn't good enough, that it doesn't hold up to what I was writing earlier this year. But I need to rewire my brain. There is no such thing as 'good' or 'bad' when it comes to fanfiction. All fanfiction is good fanfiction. This is our hobby, not our jobs, and we need to be kind to ourselves.

I am posting this at 11:59pm on New Year's Eve. Happy new year y'all, I hope Joel and Pin can bring you some festive cheer ❤️

Joel is this close to have a fucking breakdown.

He would measure out how close this is between his thumb and index finger if they were not currently tangled in webs of yarn, rapidly unravelling from from the bottom of what is supposed to be a sweater.

Your sweater.

The book that Lucy lent him months ago lies on the table before him, the pages yellowed and dogeared, open at the the easiest pattern of the lot to knit - a simple pullover in chunky yarn, in your favourite colour.

Well, it was supposed to be easy, anyway.

Despite Lucy basically holding his hand throughout the whole project, he’s had far less time than anticipated to work on it. Too many nights he finds himself at Tommy and Maria’s, elbow deep in dirty baby’s clothes and diapers, making himself useful for whatever needs to be done around the house. 

Even Ellie chips in without being asked, often bringing back food from the canteen and making sure the severely sleep-deprived adults are eating, if not well fed. Joel honestly doesn’t remember how he did it with Sarah as a clueless twenty-something, with an even more clueless younger brother.

As he attempts to free himself from the quagmire of wool, he grimaces at the stiffness all over his body, feeling it especially in his back after sleeping in an armchair all night with a rapidly growing two-month old.

He’s too old for this shit - but there’s no saying no to the little rascal with Tommy’s nose and Maria’s eyes.

The knitting needles clatter to the floor when he jumps at the front door opening and slamming shut, a frustrated fuuuuuuck slipping past his gritted teeth. 

Ellie’s voice rings out loud and clear as she scampers up the stairs, getting progressively louder until she’s outside his study. ‘Hey! Did you remember to put the potatoes in the oven? We have to leave for Tommy’s in an hour - dude, what the fuck is happening?’

‘What do you think is happenin’?’ he growls.

Crossing her arms, Ellie leans against the doorframe wearing a far too amused expression. ‘Maria said no gifts.’

Joel rolls his eyes. ‘It’s not for Maria.’

The teenager squints, perplexed, at the bits of wool in his hands. ‘What is that meant to be?’

‘... A sweater.’

Ellie bites her bottom lip, holding in a poorly concealed giggle. ‘I think a sweater is meant to have sleeves.’

‘You think?’

‘Want me to go get Lucy?’

With a heavy sigh, he mutters, ‘Fine.’

At the arch of her half-eyebrow, Joel adds begrudgingly, ‘Please.’

Ellie grins, sneakers skidding on the floorboards as she takes off. ‘Hang in there, old man!’

Despite the cold, his palms are sweaty, sticking to the kraft paper wrapped haphazardly around the even more haphazard package clutched tightly in his right hand. 

The night air mists before him in puffs of white as he shuffles a path through the falling snow. His ears are tingling from the cold, and flexing the stiff, frozen tips of his fingers, Joel knows he should’ve worn his gloves. They weren’t in their usual place by the door though, and he was so frazzled that he barely got his shoes tied up before dashing out the door, sending Ellie ahead with the potatoes (that are definitely undercooked) to his brother’s.

Your cottage glows yellow and orange in the darkness, and your stairs no longer creak when he trudges up them, having fixed them just in time before the first snowfall.

He hears your footsteps come from deep within this house when he knocks. Your eyes are wide when your door cracks open tentatively, but then your lips curve into a smile - the smile that he takes with him and keeps him warm when he has to leave Jackson for days-long patrols.

‘What are you doing here?’ you ask, ushering him inside, not batting an eye at the snow he tracks inside. ‘I thought we were meeting at Maria’s.’

Pressing a kiss to your lips, he softens at the way you lift your face towards him to catch it, careful to keep the parcel out of sight behind his back. ‘Yeah, we were, but thought I’d see if you need a hand with anythin’.’

‘Such a gentleman,’ you tease. 

A low fire burns in the hearth, the wood he chopped for you in the fall stacked in a tidy pile next to the mantelpiece. Sweeping his eyes across the living space, he spots the book with the cracked spine that he reads when he’s here on the coffee table, next to yours. On the other side of the couch is the Christmas tree that he cut for you, and he watched you dress it up in tinsel and fairylights one night after a quiet dinner and before hot cocoa under thick blankets.

He likes seeing himself at your home. In the things he does for you; in his things, casually scattered around - like they belong in your space.

‘The pies are in the kitchen, could you please put them in a bag?’ you ask. ‘I’ll just grab my coat and we can go.’

‘Sure, sweetheart,’ he answers, waiting until you’ve disappeared into the bedroom before setting down the present under the tree.

He’s leaning against the back of the couch when you pop back in, a few layers deeper than when you left him, the pies nestled safely in a carrier bag by his boots. 

‘Shall we?’ you ask brightly.

Joel hesitates, wondering if he should wait until after dinner to tell you about the present. It only takes his eyes darting to the foot of the tree for the briefest moment for you to catch on. The slow smile that stretches your cheeks and lights up your eyes warms him from the inside out.

You cock your head to one side, playing coy. ‘What’s that, Joel?’

He shrugs, feigning cool. ‘Why don’t you go ahead and find out?’

His chest physically swells at the way you dash towards the tree, landing on your knees in uncharacteristic recklessness, the impact only softened by the rug underneath. You cradle the lumpy package to your chest like something precious. ‘You got me a present.’

He settles on the end of the couch next to you, his heart beating harder in his ribcage than he’d like to admit. ‘Don’t get your hopes up, sweetheart.’

You frown at him. ‘Why?’

‘You’ll see, but I wanted to give it to you anyway.’

You open the package carefully, as if it was wrapped in the fancy paper people used to buy at the shop. Joel holds his breath when you peel it away to reveal what’s inside.

He’s far too inside his own head to hear your inhale that sounds a lot like wonder. You pick up the sweater gently, shaking it out, and Joel winces when he sees it in the flicker of the firelight.

Disastrous doesn’t begin to cover it. Lucy managed to connect the sleeves to the shapeless body in a last-ditch salvage attempt, but one is clearly longer than the other. The stitches are untidy, some have obviously caught onto something and pulled loose. Rough around the edges is putting it kindly.

Joel wants to reach out, grab it, chuck it into the fire and let the flames swallow it whole.

Finally, the silence gets the better of him, and he blurts out. ‘I’m sorry.’

You stare at him, stunned. ‘What?’

Under his whiskers, his cheeks flush in embarrassment, and he rambles, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinkin’. You deserve better sweetheart, here, let me -’

You almost lose your balance keeping the sweater out of his reach. ‘Don’t you dare, Joel Miller.’

Confused, he watches you rise to your feet, shucking your outer coat and another layer. ‘What are you doin’?’

Grabbing the sweater, you slide it over your head and thread your arms through the sleeves. The soft knit drapes over your curves, too big over your shoulders and the hem falling unevenly, higher on the right side than the left. One sleeve is long enough to cover half your hand, while the other sits right on the wrist.

And yet. 

You’re beaming like you just picked up something at Bloomin’dales or whatever the fuck those department stores were called back then. 

‘I love it,’ you declare, no trace of irony in your voice, as hard as he’s trying to find it.

He scoffs in disbelief. ‘C’mon, sweetheart, you’re just sayin’ it -’

You surprise him, grabbing him by the scruff of his collar and dragging him towards you to plant a firm kiss on his lips. 

‘I love it,’ you repeat slowly, with conviction, as if willing him to believe you. ‘Thank you.’

He doesn’t quite still, but he smiles and kisses you back. ‘Merry Christmas, sweetheart.’

‘Since we’re doing this -’ you trail off, sliding out of his grip to reach around the back of the tree, pulling out a neatly wrapped gift. ‘This is for you.’

Joel pauses. 

For him.

For the longest time, nothing had been for him unless it was soul-crushing grief and pain.

And yet here it is - his name on the tag written in your neat handwriting. Something he can hold in his hands. For him.

His fingers tremble when he reaches out. The package is soft, and the paper crackles under his grip. He all but tears it open, uncaring of the way the wrapping falls to the floor.

A laugh bubbles out of his throat, and you look relieved at his reaction. ‘You like it?’

It’s not quite a Santa hat. It’s a chunky dark red beanie with a white brim folded back, and topped with a white pompom. 

‘My ears were so cold walkin’ over. It’s perfect,’ he says, pulling it over the crown of his head. Of course, it fits just right, sliding soft and warm over his ears. He adds with a wink, ‘Y’know what, I might just shimmy down some chimneys after dinner.’

‘As long as you shimmy down mine too,’ you retort, not hearing the euphemism.

Joel quirks an eyebrow at that, one large palm squeezing your backside through the layers. ‘That an open invitation, sweetheart?’

You duck your head, more out of habit than actual shyness, with mischief in your smile. ‘Don’t be so crude, Joel Miller.’

Adjusting his new hat so that it sits comfortably, he points at the pompom and jokes, ‘Shame I can’t wear this on patrols.’

Right on cue, you hold up a finger. ‘Funny you should say that.’

He chuckles when you pull out a second, plain black beanie, as if out of thin air. ‘You really thought of everythin’, sweetheart.’

You shrug playfully. ‘I’m smart like that.’

‘I know you are,’ he smiles.

‘Merry Christmas, Joel.’

His lips find yours again in a slow, lingering kiss that has you leaning into him for more when he pulls back. ‘Thank you. For everythin’.’

You hold his gaze - heavy with meaning, light with joy. It wouldn’t take more than a tilt of the head towards the bedroom to derail your evening plans, and you both know it.

In the end, you’re the one who stays strong. Taking one step back from his warmth, you reach for your coat. ‘We’re late, we should go.’

His eyes widen. ‘Wait - you’re not wearin’ that to dinner are you?’

‘Of course I am,’ you say, buttoning up your coat over the sweater.

‘You don’t have to, sweetheart,’ he almost pleads with you.

You grin, heading for the door, blowing out candles as you go. ‘Too bad, I’m never taking it off.’

Joel shakes his head with a wry huff. ‘Well, I hope not never -’

You have one foot out the door when you suddenly remember. ‘I almost forgot - you left your gloves here last time. They’re in the cupboard by the door.’

Ah, that’s where they went. He opens the drawer and pulls them on, one after the other, the leather, worn smooth with age, creaking as he wraps his fingers around the handles of the carrier bag.

Joel is about to follow you out the door when he pauses over the threshold. Glancing down at the black beanie in his grasp, he reaches up and hooks it on the coat rack, nestled among your clothes.

He hopes that when the time comes for him to wear it for the first time - maybe on a patrol that will take him away from you for a few days - it will smell like you.

Gorgeous dividers by @firefly-graphics ❄️

More notes: I hope I will return to the main series in the new year. I've missed these two lovebirds, I hope you enjoyed this little interlude! ❤️

[captainmera]

Mera, i honestly dont know you put up and manage so many people asking you for stuff-

like today, ive only ever gotten one request (that i realised was a full on commission once i accepted) which i then spent atleast 3 HOURS on. not even to get paid T-T

so i just gotta say on behalf of the Mera crew, thank you so much for putting up with us and our shit.

Thanks I appreciate inte that. 🙇💗

I hope they weren't rude, that you still had fun, and that you learned something from it on how you want to proceed going forward with people requesting things from you.

I dont think people who approach me are shit or anything, it can be a little rude or disrespectful at times, but I boil that down to a few people. It's not the majority. Most people are nice and behave like they would if this had been in person.

I like drawing things, and it helps me fill my day with something.

Sure, It can be a little hurtful when people take advantage of that by just throwing a request/ptompt at me like they're putting paper into a copy machine, without consideration or empathy for me and my time.

Some people come in with the energy of "since you have the time you should do things for me, you're nobody without my attention, and if you don't appease me I'll be upset and think you're a selfish bum." Which is, yknow, unpleasant to put it mildly.

Like, sure, I've put myself here. I post things online, and I like when people are interested in my work - who wouldn't be? I do think it's fun to take prompts. It gives me cause to be social and creative at the same time. But just because I'm willing and open for something doesn't mean it gives people an allowance to be entitled to demand things. They speak as though they have paid me enough with their approach alone.

Yes, I spend between 10min-5hours on pieces depending on if they're doodles, fully rendered pieces, or comics.

I think it is especially a bit entitled to go "I NEED PART TWO GIMME!!!!!!" Right after something like a comic, as though I didn't just finish something that took a while to make. It's not very empathetic.

But I don't take it to heart. People show who they are in their actions. I'm within my right to ignore, block, or politely decline. It doesn't serve me to sulk or get sad over people getting mad, calling me names, or get too pushy about what I should or shouldn't draw.

I understand its excitement, but please behave, yknow? You're not a toddler at the toy isle who hasn't developed a temperament resistance yet. Some people, I think, have an issue with instant gratification.

Have some respect in how you treat and speak with people online. The way you treat others reflects who you are.

If you wouldn't yell at someone irl to make you something, don't do it here either. I promise it doesn't reflect well on you, and I don't care that this is online and we are time zones apart; I will judge you. As will others.

You don't treat people like that.

And I won't let anyone treat me like that either. I've had enough of that in my life, and I'm tired of people calling me gullible and dumb for being polite and kind or giving people a benefit of doubt.

What I have is self-respect. It has taken me a lifetime to build it up, and I still wobble a little on whatever or not I can defend myself sometimes when people are mean. But nowadays, I can more confidently say, "You don't get to treat me like that. It hurts, and it is mean."

If you are the sort to take advantage of someone who is willing to do things for the fun of it, and who don't mind the effort it takes sometimes: then you are most unwelcome here and I host no guilt in removing you however I see fit.

But, like I said, the majority of people who approach me are friendly and level-headed, even when they're awkward or excited.

There is a difference between; "I need X so give me X!! Raarghargh Im going to die!!!" And "aaaa! I really enjoyed Z, if you have the time, I'd love to see more of Z!"

You know? <:T

Just food for thought I suppose.

I hope, though, that you keep doing right by yourself and don't let others discourage you.

[killergirlfuria]

Since I ended up writing a protocreed fanfic (work in progress) in the year of our lord 2023, I decided might as well share a snippet with you.

Under the cut you will find the first scene of the oneshot I'm working on. It's deslex, hurt/comfort, and fluff. Takes place after [PROTOTYPE] (the first) and Assassin's Creed 3; it assumes the events of [PROTOTYPE] took place right before events of Assassin's Creed series (1-3).

Bleeding Effect inaccuracies to follow, I'm making half this shit up.

•••

Desmond can’t sleep. 

He feels tired, exhaustion seeped into his very bones turning them heavy and aching, but he’s been awake for hours. Tried every trick he knew to fall asleep and failed each time, distracted by the dull pulsating pain in his right hand and the occasional translucent figure that only he can see looming over him. There’s a pressure behind his ears like his body can’t quite decide if it wants to hurt or not, skewing ever so closer to a headache with each passing minute. The crook of the elbow of his left hand also smarts, no longer hooked to IVs, tender and trying to heal.

Even the warm body besides him provides little comfort. Hands entwined together is about as much as Desmond is able to muster for physical contact, his skin tight and overstimulated as the memory-pain of touching the Eye haunts him still. He’s getting better, but it’s frustrating, because he craves contact but his body keeps recoiling from it.

He turns his head to the side.

“You awake?”

The pile of blankets next to him shifts slightly. Something hisses under all that fabric, distinctly inhuman, black tendrils wrap more firmly around the wrist and fingers of his left hand, themselves only barely in the form of a hand, clawed, skinless, and oily-black. Desmond only brings it close to his face, places a gentle kiss on the biomass. It shudders slightly, and then retreats.

“If you can’t sleep,” a muffled, raspy voice comes from under all the fabric, “you can go make me coffee instead of moping.”

Desmond chuckles. “I suppose I can. The sun’s already up anyway.”

It’s shining through the window, all the brighter for all the snow outside.

And if he moves, he’ll feel better. He thinks so, at least. Stagnation always bothered him more.

Desmond pushes his own duvet off—mercifully left alone for the night, though snatched into the pile by twined black tentacles the moment his feet hit the floor—and gets up slowly. He’s sluggish with the now-familiar ache, and the air in the van is certainly colder than under the covers for the winter outside. He maneuvers his hand into a sling, and then a cardigan onto his shoulders for warmth, and walks the two steps it takes him to reach the kitchen.

The van is spacious for what it is, with a bed at the back, small but fully equipped kitchen on one side and a small table and a sitting area right behind the driver’s seat. Everything else is shelves and cabinets, wherever they reasonably fit. Or unreasonably. Storage is good, though for now Desmond doesn’t have much to use it for. He never had much, always on the move.

Maybe it’s time to change.

It’s only been a few days, but Desmond has acclimated to this space faster than ever before. It’s cozy, a little tight but comforting. He always preferred big open spaces, clear skies and the wind in his hair, but here he feels safe.

It’s a first, for a small space with nowhere to run or hide. Might be in big part thanks to who he shares it with.

He steadfastly ignores a shining specter standing in the corner, hooded and silent. It can’t do more than hover in his periphery, anyway.

Even with only one fully functional hand, making a cup of tea and a cup of coffee each isn’t difficult. He’s done more elaborate tricks when he was bartending at Bad Weather, and—

Fuck, was it really only four months ago? He has lived at least three lifetimes since then. Died, too.

It didn’t stick, sure, but it was haunting him. All of it. It would, he knew, likely for as long as he lived.

Desmond shakes his head as he sets a mug of steaming coffee on the counter closest to the bed and lets it do its thing as he sits down by the window and looks out, tea with entirely too much sugar in hand. Outside is more of a painting than anything else, glittering and sleepy, trees and rocks and ground covered in snow.

The pile of blankets shifts, slithers ever so slightly towards the edge of the bed. It shifts a little more— a pale hand sticks from under it, then another, then a pale face with a mop of dark curly hair and bright eyes the color of ice, rimmed with red. Alex sits up, vaults one leg over the ledge, sets it on the floor, then the other, bundles the blankets more securely around his shoulders. Black tendrils frame his chin, cover the entirety of his neck and dip under his shirt, encroaching on his hands. Tendrils writhe both over and under his skin as he doesn’t bother to fully mimic a human just yet.

He’s wearing Desmond’s fluffy socks, the green ones. Desmond was looking for them last evening, damnit.

A red-and-black tendril sneaks from under the blankets and reaches forward, wraps around the mug and pulls it through the air into Alex’ waiting hands. He barely wraps his fingers around it and is already taking a big sip, completely unbothered by how scalding hot the coffee is. His frown softens as soon as he does so. The ripples under his skin settle just to the left of being human enough.

"How are you feeling today?" Alex asks once he’s done pondering his coffee, icy eyes zoning in on him. “Your sleep has gotten worse. How’s the hand? Any hallucinations?”

Desmond looks at his right hand, utterly mummified from bicep down, bandage bulky with ointment pads, resting in the mesh sling. It gives off a strong antiseptic clinical smell, but Desmond isn’t about to complain. It’s that, or the smell of burned human flesh.

"Radiating dull pain, and itchy to the bone like the whole week until now. Actually it’s been hurting a little less,” he says and looks at his hand. The scientist in Alex was endlessly fascinated by the fact that it was seemingly completely charred, yet somehow still healing. Desmond was a mostly regular human after all. “I’ve been Bleeding most of the time I’ve been awake today, though.”

Ice eyes narrow. “That’s very concerning.”

“It’s only the ghosts,” Desmond says dismissively. “I can ignore them.”

Alex looks like he just bit into a lemon, arguments barely kept behind his teeth.

“We can’t do anything about the Bleeds,” Desmond reminds him, and his face sours further.

“I know,” Alex says, fingers momentarily squeezing around his coffee. It’s a testament to his control that the ceramic mug doesn’t even crack; Desmond remembers clearly how he tore Vidic’s armored truck open with his bare hands without much issue.

He gets up, moves back to the bed, sits down next to Alex. Bumps their shoulders together, and is glad to find his body doesn’t make him recoil anymore. His skin still feels a little raw, but not overstimulated enough to shy from all physical contact anymore. 

“I shouldn’t be alive at all,” Desmond reminds him. “It’s a miracle that I am, and I can deal with some slight Bleeding in exchange.”

“Alright,” Alex says, tone frustrated. He lays his head on Desmond’s shoulder, and Desmond shivers but doesn’t flinch. “But if it gets any worse you need to tell me. I can’t do much about it, but there has to be something—”

“I know,” Desmond says and kisses the top of his head, lingers a little. “Just keep reminding me that I’m me, and that I’m real. We’ll figure out the rest. They’re much more bearable now that I’m not frying my brain in the Animus anymore.”

“If you say so.”

“I’ll be okay,” Desmond promises, though he doesn’t know if it’s to Alex or himself. “I’m not now, obviously I’m not and I won’t pretend I am, but I will be.”

And he thinks he can, for once. That it’s not an empty promise.

Alex squeezes his bicep and then wraps his arm around Desmond’s waist in response, legs bumping together, and for the first time since Desmond woke up he doesn’t move away. His skin still crawls, overstimulated, but it’s slight enough for him to be able to lean into the touch. They stay like that, content to relish in each-other’s warmth and little else. It’s quiet and comfortable in the calm around them, enough for them to pretend the world isn’t out to get them. Enough to hope that it maybe really will be alright.

Desmond almost doesn’t mind the hooded figure standing in the corner, see-through and staring straight at him with its glowing yellow eyes.

[fatratbabyy]

hi! i really love your designs, the colours are always really well done anf the characters are full of life.. and i love how your rewrites give the characters complexity and make them really interesting to me, much more so than canon(though i am a fan of some ideas introduced there, they don’t quite turn out in ways that make sense to me)! i’ve been wondering a few things about helluva troupe for a while however and hopefully the answers aren’t spoilers, lol.. in HT, what is Fizz’s involvement with the ‘troupe’ and what is stolas’s involvement too.? i wish you much luck on your work as it is lovely to see! (also apologies for my silly username)

Thank You!

Thank you so much that means a lot!! waaAahee! It makes me happy to see people interested 🥺👉👈

With Fizz it's,,, a bit Fuzzy, because hilariously he's the whole reason I made this AU among other things But I ended up makinh him a sorta side character antag again because while originally he was going to be part of the main crew from the start of HT's storyline, as I went along in trying to write I saw some cool hcs about his star clown days and so I thought to use the more canonized view- mostly in that he's a star clown during the events of HT instead of dropping the show life to join Blitz in I.M.P. That previous version is why you see him in the I.M.P references- and hinty hoo that ol version isnt completely null and voice to the current HT

ANYWAY so yeah- While Fizz isn't as much a main character as he was he still has a great deal of importance to the story and themes I want to express in HT. When it comes to him and the Troupe itself, I could best describe him as one of the biggest foils or parallels to the main cast. Just,, he's this golden image that represents their every want fulfilled. For Blitz especially given their thick history heehooo. (That's not to say this 'golden image' is entirely as it seems btw...)

Now it sounds much like canon I know but I like to think I'm taking a different direction with it- It's not really just the "haha you suck with relationships, fuck, shit, pénis im doing better look at my good relationship" nonsense cuz for 1. Fizzarozzie does nOT exist anymore- its Mamzie now 😊 (Mammon + Ozzie) and 2. The themes with Fizz and really most of HT has less to do with the melodramatic romance "will they wont they" of Stolitz (which isnt really a thing either) and more the struggle impoverished and oppressed peoples experience with success, failure, identity, community, family, status, history, trauma, etccc. Specifically, because I am an indigenous person from Canada, a lot of the themes are drawn from my own experiences, knowledge and history as an indigenous person. Though with execution, creative liberties were taken to make the fact they're in Hell clear btww-

That very likely did nOT answer jour question but i amn,,,stoopi 😭😭😭 simpler answer i suppose maybe by chance would be Fizz is an eventual antagonist to I.M.P. Specifics and how it happens and wheNNN?? Im still not sure yet if im honest- been really busy the last year or so and so Ive hadnt had any time or energy to work as much on writing all the things! ;u; thats probs disappointing to hear cuz plaNNing and all is important if you're gonna post story stuff at all,,, but !! I do hope to work more on the story this year so i can wrap up all these floating ideas into a Concrete line of stuff cuz truly all im missing is the middle pieces. Maybe an HT comic will be real this/or next year! 👀🏃

ANYHOOT ONTO STOLAS! i rambled a bit too much about Fizz cuz im still figuring him out- Stolas might be a bit shorter cuz his role is sweet and simplisticerr.

So, Stolas is an antagonist. He and Blitz still have an exchange sort of deal, but the deal is Blitz gets to keep the grimoire for I.M.P if he handles Stolas' "errands" and gives it back on the full moon with ofc none of the uh,,hawny stuff, obv. Blitz kinda keeps this deal under wraps from the rest of I.M.P because for him, it hurts his pride to admit he's in need of some big guy's help. And Stolas is somewhat aware of this. And so, Stolas is this looming, cruel threat that Blitz carries the burden of cuz he's stubborn as fuck whilst the rest of I.M.P remain ignorant.

Some bonus notes that dont really have to do with Stolas involvement with imp but jus how stuff ive changed with his canon influence the story diff than canon; so, Stella isnt a thing anymore. In general the Goetia work much differently- majority of the Goetia being the children of Ozzie instead of Paimon (who is Stolas' sibling now btw too) and the Goetia being thousands of years old instead of fucking 30- Also! While Via is existant she is but a baby instead of a moody teen,, ties heavily with Stolas' motives and how he operates as a character, royal, and Goetian and felt it would work better with how HT Stolas is as a character than it would otherwise.

Also no worries about the username! I dont like canon stolas much either lol,,;

I apologize if this didnt answer much 😭 feel free to let me know if you wanna hear about somn else gwahgh 🏃

[dualityvn]

Anyways, before you started being a little shit, I was gonna tell you about some good news, and I GUESS I still will even though I should be IGNORING YOU RIGHT NOW.

So you remember my trees right? And how I got several kinds instead of just wisteria? And how I got impatient and started germinating my Red Maple and Black Pine trees? well I planted them a bit ago AND THE FIRST ONE SPROUTED AND IM SO EXCITED I ACTUALLY FUCKING SQUEALED WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK AND SAW IT I WAS SO FUCKING HYPED LIKE GENUINELY SKIPPING AROUND AND SMILING LIKE A GOOF

So its one of the Black Pine seeds I planted and they’re so pretty already, like I’ve been so down and stressed lately but when I tell you that all immediately melted away when I saw that seedlings I MEAN IT IM SO HAPPY

I was really worried they wouldn’t sprout because the seeds didn’t show up in the best condition, but I was so relieved to see at least one did, I’ll give the others some more time before losing hope.

I did plant my Red Maple seeds before I planted the others so I’m more worried about them, they’re supposed to turn white once they’re done germinating but only a few did, plus before that I was supposed to rub the outer coat off of the seeds, which I did, but I’m scared I might been too rough with them :,))

But that doesn’t matter as much because at least one sprouted IM SO HAPPY THAT AT LEAST ONE SPROUTED.

OH MY GOD AND I FOUND OUT THERES A SEED LIBRARY NEAR WHERE I LIVE WHERE THEY GIVE OUT SEEDS FOR DIFFERENT PLANTS FOR FREE.

It’s taking every ounce of self control I have not to go over there and grab everything, I need to wait until I have more space, but it’s just so exciting, I think I’m gonna try my garden again once winters over, I’ll use the tips you gave me to keep the squirrels and rabbits away, and I’m gonna go for even more flowers this time!!

Sigh like I’m so stupidly giddy about all of this, I don’t talk about it enough but I really do love plants so much, I envy you, getting to work in a flower shop, that sounds so amazing.

And as much as I love winter and it being colder I can’t wait to be back to gardening, I think I’ll try and plant something that reminds me of you, like a few sunflowers.

Lmao actually did you know I spent a stupid amount of time just a few days ago making these crude paper flowers for work, I ended up making like 120 of them and destroyed my hands in the process, and as much as I hated doing them then, people seemed to really like them so I'm happy I did it.

OH AND RECENTLY IVE BEEN TAKING A LIKING TO SNAPDRAGONS, BUT NOT REALLY FOR THE FLOWER. THE SEED PODS ARE SO FUCKING COOL (I think you would like them too TenTen) THEY LOOK LIKE SKULLS AND ITS FUCKING AWSOME

Okay I’ll shut up and stop being a dork. You don’t get an ‘I love you’ this time because you’re a brat. I don’t use anon ONCE and you come at me, tsk.

(Here is my precious beautiful baby I’m naming the Primis <3)

"Those are great news! I'm so happy for you! Aaah, I wish I still had a garden. I can only care for plants that would live well in an apartment. I'd give anything to be able to grow a large garden full of flowers again.

But I wish you good luck with yours! And with little Primis! I'm sure it'll grow into a wonderful tree, especially if it's in your care.

And I'm glad it made you feel better. Plants help me with stress too, they're like silent little friends. I've shown Tenebris snapdragon seed pods before. He said they're the coolest babies he's ever seen.

Then I'll say it for both of us! Love you to the moon and back." - Keith

[summerlycoris]

I havent had a great day today. Gonna chuck it under a cut because its probably gonna be long and annoying.

So i volunteered to help set up and run my workplaces pride stall this year. Got excited to do it- even made some bracelets to put out on the table if they gave me permission.

But the hours were originally 9am setup. Luckily, i checked my work email on my phone the evening prior. Because theyd changed it to 8am.

I would normally work today, but arranged to take annual leave so i could do pride. And ultimately never ended up going because of a few things.

One being just. Executive dysfunction. Im always late for everything- even things i want to do. Especially when- and this might sound stupid- i hate that people expect things of me. Feels stifling. But i signed up for this? But i signed up for a 9am start not an 8am one. And this is my annual leave im using so i dont want to immediately jump out of bed and rush around like on a workday yknow? So even though i wanted to get going before 8am, it wasnt happening.

In the end, i get ready to go there for 9am because. I missed the time to get ready for 8am or even 830am so. On the bikeride over there i got so worked up thinking about how theyll be judging me- all these people who work in the office and i havent met before- they'll be thinking like 'oh summer. Didnt you get the email? This was supposed to start at /eight/. Well, we've already set up... we'll find something for you to do /i guess/.' And even if everyone acted nice to my face, they'd be thinking it and judging me. And i burst into tears halfway there and was just like. Even if i get there now, I'm gonna be crying all day so whats the point? People are just gonna look at me like im a weirdo. And theyd be right.

So i turned around and went home. Texted one of my coworkers that would be there that i wasnt having a good day and couldnt make it. So she'll be looking at me like im a weirdo at work tomorrow too! Cool! And maybe my boss will be judging me- like i went through all this effort to /not/ do something?

I just. Fuck. I dont know why i bother trying to do anything. I just disappoint myself and others.

I dont want other people tp have control over me. But not wanting that doesnt change the fact that they /do/ have control over me. Ive beholden to their expectations. And if i dont meet them ill be judged. Thats how the world works. That should motivate me to get out of bed right?

If anything, knowing that and repeated failures just ensures I keep failing. Keep failing to get anywhere on time- because its hard to fight against anxiety and bitterness, all in a combo one-two punch. Keep failing to /want/ to do things. Because i know ill fuck it up.

Am i making any sense?

Honestly i feel so shit. Might just ring in for work tomorrow too. Im so fucking tired.

And like. Im nearly 30. This kind of tug of war between success and failures been going on since i was a kid. I could actually see about getting diagnosed with adhd and see if /anything/ can help me but all the horror stories about getting diagnosed and what if im just. Wrong. What if its just me and nothing helps? Because i think its a mix of executive functioning issues, and bad mental tbh.

I dont know what to do at this point.

[pacifymebby]

Hi me again age gap crush anon (more like crushed heart anon now 🥲). So basically the reasoning he gave was that he couldn’t see it working long term and that my indecisiveness was bothering him a lot. Although he started off complimenting me and then dropped that bomb. So in my reply I said that I understood what he’s getting at and that I’d like to still be friends (because he said in his message he wanted to still be friends). The only problem I’m having now with that is that I need more of an explanation. And I don’t know if I should try to get it from him over messages or if I should try to get it from him in person. Obviously it’s easier to just go send a message right now before he replies to my message and say some like “I’m just wondering why you’ve seemingly changed your mind so rapidly? Things seemed to be going fairly well from where I was sitting” But also imagine the impact that would have if I said that in person and caught him off guard! Haha is that petty?

So as for the pregnant thing you’ll probably think I’m nuts. Ok so I don’t have any solid reason to think I’m pregnant Ive just felt really off the past few days. Like I can tell somethings different. And yesterday I got cramping a WEEK before my period is supposed to start and that is not normal for me at all! I never get cramps until the first day of bleeding. Idk if you’ve heard of implantation cramping but it literally happened right in the exact window to be that timing-wise. And so we had unprotected sex just over a week ago (he pulled out but obviously it’s not the most effective method and there can be sperm in precum and that escapes before he ejaculates but you probably know that) and its all seeming to line up perfectly in the timeline of when I had the unprotected sex to when I should of ovulated to when I had the cramping and just feeling off. I think the funniest bit about this is that I had been worried about possibly being pregnant since we had the unprotected sex and then when I started feeling off but then I had just started feeling the cramping yesterday and I’m like oh fucking shit this is it when I get the message saying this isn’t going to work. Fucking ridiculous isn’t it? I was freaking out like I don’t have a job I’m not in school my family is gonna kick me out what am I gonna do?!?! And then I was like calm down your guy is not gonna just leave you and his child he’ll take care of you and help you get on your feet. And then I saw the message and was like ahahaha nope! And immediately had a panic attack!

Right so, indecisive how? If I were you I would not just accept that. Obviously you know better than I do the ways in which you are indecisive is it like, indecisive like because you don't know what you're doing with your life (in which case news flash to this dude but that's what he gets for dating 21 year olds I don't know a single 21 year old who is together in that way AT ALL) or is it like indecisive about where to eat or what to do with your day? Like he needs to elaborate because that just sounds dumb to me?

I think like I'm an indecisive wee gal and B is like you need to learn to make decisions sometimes, and pushes me to do it sometimes, but as a relationship defining thing? Indecisiveness is not that big a deal, especially when you're young!!!

Also the fact that as an adult male he's done this by text when he saw you yesterday???? That has only just hit me but holy shit bestie you are not having a conversation about indecisiveness and maturity with a man who's not even brave enough to dump you to your face.

Like not even a phone call a straight up text. He saw you within the last few days so wtf.

I'm not gonna lie if I were you I wouldn't be trying to salvage the relationship because for all that he might be an attractive older guy he just lost all his sds cred ya know? But I would be pointing out that he's changed his mind pretty quickly, and that also its quite immature for him to do all this by text too. That's just cowardly.

To then ask to be friends with you too when he's not even got the balls to have an adult conversation like the decisive adult he supposedly is?

Bestie no.

As for the pregnancy stuff right, I guess I can give you the same advice I've given myself and my pals in the past.

When you're para you might be pregnant your body plays tricks on you. You say you've been anxious and para about being pregnant literally since you had sex? So those cramps you had could be your body playing tricks on you. They might not be, but they also very likely are.

I've had it before where I've thought I was having implanting because I got spotting and cramps but no period. And like the more I stressed the more delayed my actual period was too.

So I'm gonna say try not to stress too much, wait it out until you can take the test, and then maybe take one or two tests and see what the result is.

Until you do that and you know whether you are or not you need to try and convince yourself that you're actyally just coming up to getting your period. Like tell yourself those are just period cramps and try not to fixate or let your anxiety run away with you.

As for the abortion stuff you said in your other message I totally get that and you seem to have similar views to me. Like personally I wouldn't want an abortion for multiple reasons but I do always like to throw that into my advice so that people know km not going to judge them if that is where their mind has gone to.

I guess we can talk more about what your next steps could be if you are in fact pregnant next week but for now like, try not to worry, try not to worry about whether your man is going to step up or not and just, try to focus on getting over the blow this has been to you. And yeah, talk over with this guy why he's changed his mind since apparently yesterday.

Be prepared for his reasons to be pathetic and not viable reasons and just know that if he turns out to be a massive disappointment we are all here for you and you have our support. But also that there are men out there who exist and are actually nice and good.

Also a positive thing is that you've gotten through a lot of your scary firsts now so when you do meet a new man you'll feel better equipped to navigate the situation.

I think it's important to remember that even though this situation has taken rather a disappointing turn that not all situations will in future. But also that these things happen and that life is full of shitty days and break ups and heart breaks and stuff.

But ultimately bestie this man is not good enough for you because you deserve better than a fckin text breaking up with you for YOUR indecisiveness.

Like literally, it's pretty indecisive to be having sex with you a few days ago and then to suddenly be like oh actually this won't work.

Man's gotta have some self awareness.

[2jaeh]

INSUFFERABLE l  KIM DOYOUNG 

GENRE: mature theme, slight smut

WARNINGS: choking, dom themes, cursing

asshole! Doyoung , enemies to ???

Words : 4k 

You’re put in a group project with the most annoying pretentious jerk your law class had to offer. Immediately Doyoung tries to boss you around but you being you, you weren’t taking his shit...soon enough he finds out he can dominate you after all...in a very different way. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Theres no fucking way...no fucking way” you groaned looking at your group project list, eyes narrowing on possibly the worst people within your course year. Slumping in your seat you half smiled at the girl who approached you, one of your fellow members from project hell. 

“Heyyy y/n I think we're in a group together” she grinned and took a seat next to you, flipping her red hair over her shoulder and checked herself out in her mirror covered cellphone. 

Dami was probably the most narcissistic person you'd ever met and being in law, it was definitely a common trait around here. Dami sat up and began tapping you on your shoulder frantically “He’s in our group! Kim Doyoung is in our group” the two of you watched as the dark haired man conversed with the lecturer, casually turning back to look at the table where you guys sat, in annoyance. 

“That guy is such a prick” a guy who slid in the desk behind you, Seungmin said and Dami nodded in agreeance as you all continued to watch him. 

“Ive never really spoken to him before” you cocked your head, “What’s so annoying about him?” 

This time another group member joined in, a quieter girl who normally sat in the back Jisoo, cleared her throat, “He is really bossy and only likes to do things his own way.”

‘Well he is about to meet his worst nightmare’ you thought knowing nothing pissed you off more than someone telling you what to do. 

The muffled conversations around you began to soften as you felt someone stand over you and drop a file on your desk. Looking up, you locked eyes with the one and only Kim Doyoung, dressed in his usual black slacks, black turtleneck and clear rimmed spectacles. He raised his eyebrow at you as if you were supposed to guess what he wanted.

“What ?” you challenged him, folding your arms across your chest and returned an eyebrow raise. 

Doyoung sighed in annoyance, his long slender fingers moved across the file and opened it swiftly, “I want you to do roll call” he said coldly. 

A lump formed in your throat. You felt like you were being talked down to, it was something that infuriated the hell out of you. He wasn't older than you, nor was he getting better grades than you but somehow he had a superiority complex. Dami quickly nudged you and you rolled your eyes, “Seungmin ?”

“Here!” 

“Jisoo ?” you placed a tick as you called out each name. 

“Dami, Jangjun…?” you looked around and noticed that the usually loud comedic relief in your classroom was nowhere to be seen. 

“I think Jangjun is late, i’ll text him” Seungmin sighed and pulled out his phone. You turned back to the roll call sheet and pursed your lips, “Kim Doyoung ?” 

Doyoung just looked down at you, sucking in his bottom lip and raised that damn eyebrow at you again. 

“You need to say ‘here’ do you not know how roll call works ?” you tested him and he rolled his eyes and sighed, “here.” 

You smiled to yourself, completely satisfied with pissing him off when your internal celebration was interrupted by an out of breath Jangjun, who threw his bag on the floor and took a seat on Dami’s desk. Doyoung looked at him disgustingly, and even though you too were obviously annoyed by Jangjun’s tardiness, was that reaction really necessary ?

“Be on time” Doyoung sneered and grabbed the roll call file making his way back to the lecturer. 

“Fuck Kim Doyoung is in this group ?” Jangjun groaned, sharing the sentiments of the entire meeting. You couldnt believe these were the people you had to work with for the week. It's like you could almost feel an outburst waiting to happen, whether it be from you or Kim Doyoung. 

Doyoung returned and took out his phone, not really looking at any of you as he spoke, “we should make a group chat to update each other on work”

The group hastily shared each other's details and Doyoung created the chat and pinned a set of three rules. 

The first was the group was strictly to be used for the project, no small talk or any other messages that weren't related to the project. The second rule was that no one talks about the group content in private chats as it will cause confusion among members. Lastly you weren't allowed to message after 9pm unless it was an emergency, a very serious emergency. 

“Dang is this the military ?” Jangjun snickered as Seungmin and Dami tried their best to hide their laughs. It was typical of people like Dami and Jangjun to not take anything seriously. Their families were well off and they were just studying just for a piece of paper you call a degree. Doyoung couldn't even hide his annoyance, not like he ever did but he seemed particularly pissed off today. 

“Look, just follow the rules and all of you get a free pass and then we never have to speak to each other again” Doyoung spat and made his way to the exit leaving the rest of you in utter shock. 

———

The first two days were utter hell as Doyoung tried to take control of almost every aspect of the project and frankly you didn't even mind because his business proposal was flawless, it was just the way he spoke to all of you that drove you insane. 

“Dami its not fucking rocket science all you need to do is make a clientele spreadsheet with the mock list the professor gave us” Doyoung didnt even lift his head from his laptop, unaware of the impact his words had on her. 

Dami pushed away from the desk and her eyes began to well up and before you knew it she was running out of the library, with Jisoo and Seungmin following quickly out of concern. 

“Nice move asshole” you rolled your eyes, continuing to work on your laptop. 

Doyoung peered up and pushed his spectacles up, “what was that?” 

“I said nice move asshole, do you intend to talk to your future clients like that?” He initiated a different kind of anger from you but you managed to keep your cool. Doyoung shrugged as if what he had said to Dami had not carried any weight and continued typing away. 

A few minutes of the members disappearance quickly turned to an hour and Doyoung’s nonchalance about the whole ordeal really ticked you off to the point of slamming your laptop closed and pushed back from the desk. 

Doyoung quirked his eyebrow at you, “Is something wrong ?” 

“Is something wrong” you mimicked him, “Jangjun hasn't come in today because you sent him on multiple errands, and you just made Dami cry over something so ridiculous”

Doyoung sat back in his seat and rubbed his temples, “They're all freeloaders, you and I are the only ones doing work, why do you care so much about them?” 

“Basic human fucking decency maybe?” you groaned and ran your fingers through your hair, “listen im not like them, i'm not gonna take shit from you”

“Sure”

“Youre a fucking asshole Kim Doyoung.” 

—-

You lay in bed and replayed that scene with Doyoung in your head multiple times. He was so unbothered by your antics nor did he care about anyone's feelings within the group. He was cold, heartless all he thought about was himself. His cold expression was practically engraved in your head, spending all these hours with him was really not your favourite pastime. 

Group 7 gc 7:00pm

KDY: I posted a schedule for tomorrow we will be working in pairs on the highlighted sections. 

You took a look at his document and groaned when you saw your name placed next to his. There was no way, no way in hell you want to work with him one on one. Not caring about breaking his rule, you pulled up a private chat with him and began expressing your concerns. 

y/n  x  KDY : 7:10pm 

Y/N: Hi, there's no fucking way in hell am I working with you. Change It. 

KDY: I said no private chats and no, I'm not changing it. 

Y/N: Wouldn't it be better for us to split and have the others actually DO work for once ?

KDY: I barely gave them room for error, we're going to be the most anyway and besides, I'd prefer someone who can handle...my personality. 

Y/N: …..so you agree..you are an asshole ?

KDY: I give people a reality check that's all..

Y/N: whatever makes you sleep at night...can I atleast choose our work venue because If I were stuck in a library again with you I might kill you. 

KDY: haha..

KDY: sure. 

Y/N: mango drop cafe, 10am. 

KDY: cool, see you then. 

‘Haha’. You had no idea why that text in particular riled you up. Did he find all of this amusing ? Was he making everyone's life a living hell because he enjoyed it ? You stared at his messages and somehow ended up on his profile picture. He was leaning against a railing dressed in all black with his hooded eyes concentrated on the camera lense, Your realization of how attractive he was came from the fact that you stared at the picture for a good 20 minutes. You wondered who took the picture, a girlfriend maybe ? You shook your head. He seemed too uptight to be getting laid. You sighed, closing your phone and awaited yet another day with the insufferable gorgeous man that was Kim Doyoung. 

You arrived quite early at the cafe but of course Doyoung was here before you, already typing away at his laptop, in his usual attire. You greeted the barista and placed an order for a chilled cafe latte before making your way over to him. 

“Hey” you said simply and took a seat opposite him in the booth. Doyoung’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice and made room for your books on the table.

“You're here early” 

“You're already picking a fight with me?” you said casually setting up your workspace. 

Doyoung chuckled under his breath and shook his head, “I just didn't expect you this early y/n it's not that serious.” 

You ignored his words and got straight to work, not in the mood to play his little game. You felt Doyoung look at you a few times. You weren't sure if it were to check if youre doing the right thing or he was just looking at you. 

“Well i'm done with my part” you stretched your arms above your head and yawned. 

“Yeah I'm pretty much done too, Do you want another cup of coffee ?” Doyoung offered pointing to your empty cup. You were taken back by his softer demeanor but quickly nodded, “uh yeah sure.” 

Doyoung returned carrying a tray of two fresh cups of coffee and a slice of cheesecake. Setting everything down he handed you the extra fork and placed the cheesecake in the middle of the table to make it easier to share. 

“H-how much do I owe you ?” You fumbled in your bag for your wallet. 

“It's okay, it's my treat” Doyoung replied, placing a piece of cheesecake in his mouth and slowly licking the fork clean. You gulped as his tongue darted out carefully licking the cream from the metal, not leaving any residue behind. You had no idea what the hell was going on but you felt hot, almost claustrophobic. 

“You're okay?” Doyoung asked innocently, unaware of what he was doing to you. 

“Why are you being...nice?” You questioned, knitting your eyebrows together as the man continued to act as if this was his usual behavior. 

Doyoung pursed his lips and placed the fork on the plate, “You want me to be mean to you?”

“No I just don't get-”

“I apologized to Dami and she told me she only overreacted because the guy she likes, Seungmin was there” Doyoung explained and removed his spectacles, “she was embarrassed to ask anyone for help, I paired them up for today.”

“Wait wha-”

“Also Jangjun works at the campus radio” Doyoung continued, “I had only found out the day we all met, I gave him tasks that will allow him more flexibility, that way he doesn't have to join group sessions often.” 

You blinked, unable to form any words in order to reply to Doyoung. Especially after he chuckled at your speechlessness, knowing you didn't bother getting his side of the story at first. 

“You were right y/n I dont have to be an asshole all the time, I just like to get my work done” He shrugged. You kept eye contact with him but somehow it felt as if he were still toying with you, waiting on your next reaction. He seemed like he played this game often, making sure he always had the upper hand. Doyoung seemed relaxed as he stared at you, taking another scoop of the cheesecake and slowly ran his tongue over his lips after his bite. What the fuck was he doing ? 

“Y/N ?” you heard a familiar voice come from the entrance of the cafe. Your attention diverted from Doyoung to the blonde haired boy who began approaching your table. 

“Jungwoo ? oh my God what are you doing here ?” You stood up and pulled him into a tight hug and pecked his cheek. Doyoung shifted awkwardly in his seat as he watched your exchange with the stranger. 

“I got off early from class about to go to Subway, are you still doing that group project thing?” Jungwoo looked over at your table and half smiled at Doyoung who tried to distract himself with his phone. 

“Uh yeah but i'm all done here I think, wanna hang out ?” you hooked arms with Jungwoo as he nodded enthusiastically. You turned around and scratched the back of your head, 

“So...uh”

“Were all done you can go, I have somewhere to be anyway” Doyoung smiled as you slowly began packing up your things. 

“Alright, see you tomorrow I guess” you bid your goodbye and headed out for lunch with Jungwoo. 

—-

You had just finished up your skincare routine and caught up with a few instagram posts when you noticed Doyoung had followed you. Sitting up in bed you scrolled through his feed curiously. Every post was aesthetically pleasing and he looked absolutely hot in every single one of them. He had to have a girlfriend right ? No guy posts pictures this good without women flooding his DMs. 

There was no harm in doing the same since he was in your class, you decided to return the follow and close the app. Suddenly your phone vibrated with a new message in your chats. 

Y/N X KDY  10:30pm

KDY: hey 

Y/N: aren't you breaking two of your rules right now ?

KDY: haha 

KDY: I didn't realize what time it was…

Y/N: ….anyways..is this about work at least ?

KDY: kinda… you left one of your books at the cafe. I have it with me. 

Y/N: oh… thank you.

KDY: no prob...oh I hope its not a problem I added you on ig

Y/N: no its okay we are friends I guess

KDY: haha I thought I was the insufferable asshole..

Y/N: you are...but not all the time. Look im sorry for saying shitty things about you. 

KDY: its all good. 

KDY: …….

Y/N: ..whats up?

You twirled your fingers as you watched the three dots from Doyoung pop up and disappear over and over again. What was taking him so long ? 

KDY: that guy….that you met at the cafe..is he your boyfriend ?

Y/N: Jungwoo ? no way we've been friends since high school.

KDY: oh..

Y/N:....why would you even ask that ?

KDY: curious. 

Y/N: curious about who I'm dating ??

KDY: A little. 

You frowned at your phone and noticed Doyoung had changed his profile picture to a selfie. The picture was..something alright. You bit down on your lip as you enlarged the picture, which showed a wet haired Doyoung with his head resting in his palm and his long index finger was placed between his plump lips. 

“Fuck y/n get yourself together” you gave yourself a pep talk before opening his chat back up again. 

Y/N X KDY  10.54PM

Y/N: fine if you can ask a question can I ask one..

KDY: go ahead 

Y/N: who do you keep thirst trapping for ?

KDY: ….haha thirst trapping ? 

Y/N: Yeah who do keep posting these hot pics for huh

KDY: …..

KDY: You think i'm hot ?

Fuck. Why did you word it that way. You groaned immediately regretting sending that message but something in you was so curious about him you decided to just risk it, what was the worst that could happen ? 

Y/N: well yeah, I mean I'm sure everyone thinks you're attractive, you seem to know it too. 

KDY: wow. 

KDY: I think you're hot too. 

What the hell was going on. You felt your face heat up and you placed your pillow in between your legs as you turned on your side. 

KDY: I was almost disappointed when I thought Jungwoo was your boyfriend, he's way too passive. 

Y/N: ...and what makes you think you know what kind of man I need ?

KDY: hmmm

KDY: first of, with that fucking attitude of yours..A dominate one. 

You swallowed hard as you felt a tingle in your stomach, squeezing your thighs together on the pillow to create more friction. 

Y/N: I could say the same for you. 

KDY: You may think youre dominate in many aspects...but when it comes to fucking..im the one in charge. 

God you hated how hot that sounded. He had you in the palm of his hand through text. You were a mess and he wasn't even the room to fuel it. You wanted him so fucking bad it was insane. 

Y/N: running your mouth doesn't equate to doing it you know...

KDY:.....

KDY: then would you like me to show you ?

Everything happened so damn fast. One minute you two were texting the next minute you were sharing your apartment location and Doyoung was on his way over. You scrambled to put on sexier underwear and do your hair, still in shock by the fact that Doyoung was on his way over to bang you. 

You jumped when you heard the doorbell and realized it was him. Opening the door you were greeted to a very different look of Doyoung. His hair was messy and reached his eyes. Instead of his usual black academic attire he wore a loose white vest that showed off his toned chest and arms, along with a pair of grey sweatpants. 

“Hi” Doyoung smirked, his eyes were dark as he scanned your figure. 

“Hi” you responded, leaning against the wall in the hallway and looked up at him. Doyoung slowly approached you, like a lion circling its prey. His slender fingers danced lightly along your body, drawing a line from your waist until he found your throat and wrapped his cold fingers around it. He bit down on his lip as he studied how perfectly his hand looked around it and squeezed gently, smirking after hearing a soft moan emit from you. 

“I want you to do as I say, any back chat from you will get you punished you got that ?” he brought his lips down to your neck and exhaled. 

You nodded in response but that wasn't good enough for Doyoung. You felt his squeeze on your throat once more and he used his hips to pin you against the wall, “use your words” he gritted his teeth. 

“Yes sir” you replied obediently, and felt him smile against your neck. 

“Good girl, and if i'm too rough let me know so I can stop okay ?” he replied, his voice changed and it was much sweeter and genuine than before. He placed a soft kiss on your cheek when you nodded and led you to the bed. 

Doyoung lay you on the bed, already stripping off his shirt and ordered you to undress yourself and rid him off his sweatpants. You bit down on your lip taking notice of how aroused he was when you palmed his member. 

Doyoung watched you through hooded eyes as you discarded his sweatpants and boxers. He softly patted your head and grabbed a tuft of your hair in order to make you look up at him. 

“Spit” he ordered, and held out his hand and you did as you were told. You watched as he lathered himself with it, moaning as he stroked himself. He was so damn sexy, biting down on lip and slowly pleased himself as you watched. 

“Do you want this inside you sweetheart ?” he cooed and placed a finger under chin. 

You nodded quickly, “Yes please” 

“What do you want me to do baby ?” He purred and hovered over you as you lay on the bed, breathing heavily as his fingers moved against your warm skin, tracing your curves, ghosting over your heat and returning back to your lips to insert a digit inside. 

Doyoung watched diligently as you sucked on his finger like the good girl he knew you were. He finally pulled his finger out and with one swift movement entered with his member before you could even respond to his question. You moaned as he quickly slammed his hips into yours, wasting no time in gaining a rhythm as you marked his back with scratch marks feeling as though you were on a high. 

Doyoung fucked you like a pro, wasting no time to switch positions and had you on all fours, slapping your ass before slamming into you again, that pretentious smirk forming on his face as he heard your whimpers asking him for more. 

“Are you ready to cum sweetheart ?” he asked, pulling you up as his strokes became slower and tugged on your ear with his teeth. 

“Y-yes yes i'm ready” you panted.

“What's the magic word ?” he growled as he grabbed your throat and slowed down his pace as you were nearing your climax. 

“Fuck youre so annoying PLEASE, please let me cum Doyoung fuck” 

Doyoung chuckled and picked up his pace until you finally climaxed and he followed shortly after, collapsing in the bed next to you. 

“You have such an attitude God” he rolled his eyes playfully, bringing the blanket over your bodies and grinned when you moved in to cuddle him. 

“I guess you will have to fix that some time” you yawned and wrapped your arm around his waist, “but I have to admit, maybe I do enjoy the insufferable Kim Doyoung bossing me around once in a while.”

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

[sammyloomis]

hi!! you're one of the blogs who i follow who was in the ud fandom for the longest time so you may be able to help me find fics by a certain author? feel free to ignore this ofc

i was able to find one of them which had been orphaned, and it was called "the widows" on ao3. i'm having the suspicion that they may have just deleted the rest of their works because i'm trying to search by using tags i vaguely remember from the fics and i'm not finding anything, but i may also just be misremembering the specifics? i remember this writer in particular really shaped my headcanons + interpretations of the ud kids and i'm really sad i can't find the rest of their fics now that i'm into ud again a couple years later :(

again if you don't feel like answering/can't help that's totally fine!! have a good one :)

oh shit, i know excatly who ur talking about, we actually used to be good friends!!

unfortunately she did end up deleting all of her social media including her ao3 account which is a shame because i also was a big fan of her writing :[

her name used to be disappointingmyparents or something like that, right?? i tried to get in contact a few years ago and she basically told me she was erasing her entire online presense which is fair enough i suppose

i managed to save a pdf of one of her fics called 'Graves All Gaping Wide' before it was deleted which was basically a ghost au she wrote from an au i had if u remember that one too, but none of the others im afraid

lookin thru my bookmarks ive found 2 others tho, theres They Are The Night which is an au where all the kids are trapped on the mountain and become w*ndigo in josh's place, and this one she worked on with holeybubushka called Sundown Girls which is a vampire au i still love :']

hope this helped some!! thanks for stickin around this long even tho im fully borderlands mode these days :']

[justice4harwin]

Light's Corruption- Chapter IV

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Summary:With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty

Rating: 18+

Click here for chapter 3

Tags are in the comment section. If you dont wanna be there or wanna be added please let me know 😊

Anyways, I hope you like this one. I'm really excited over a particular scene 😏😏

Chapter 4: golden butterfly, black rose

Alina woke up with a new purpose: to observe and listen.

She hastily threw the blankets and sheets off of her and put on her kefta as she realized she might be late for breakfast.

Running down the stairs, hair a mess, the Sun Summoner smiled and greeted everyone on her path.

Some replied. Others just stared oddly.

She entered the hall to find that, as usual, Marie and Nadia had left a seat empty between them. Alina gingerly took it.

"Good morning!"

They gave her smiles as they reciprocated the greeting.

"You're in a good mood today." Nadia noticed, taking her spoon.

"I slept like a baby." she lied. She hadn't gotten that much sleep -Genya must've gotten even less- but she felt good that day.

Just the day before, she had been able to summon on her own for the first time, and she had to stay positive if she wanted to accomplish her new mission.

She engaged more in the chatter with the grisha women that day, venturing so far as to reply with questions of her own to get to know them better.

"I didn't know you had a brother, Nadia." she said, genuinely surprised as they made their way to Botkin's stables.

The woman nodded with a half-annoyed, half-endearing smile.

"He's grisha too. A few years younger, so he's still at school. His name's Adrik."

"Is he a Squaller too?" 

Nadia confirmed that he was, because of course, the little rat had to copy everything about his older sister.

Alina laughed at that.

"The little girl seems very happy for someone who's about to get into a fight?" were the words with which Botkin received her.

Alina fought back the need to recoil. The only time she had won so far had been against Zoya, …if one could consider that a win given what happened right after.

"Maybe I'll be lucky today." she beamed at him.

Botkin seemed almost surprised.

"Positivity is fine, little girl, but you need to focus during a fight. But first." he clapped his hands twice, immediately getting all the attention. "Run around the lake. Twice. The last one to get back here will help the stable hands for the rest of the day."

Alina really ran like never before that day.

Her side hurt, and she almost felt like she wasn't getting enough air; but after the first half, her legs didn't burn so much anymore, and she felt almost as good as she did when walking.

"Damn, Starkov." she turned her head to see that Michail, a heartrender with a hard-shaped face and kind, green eyes, was easily keeping up with her. "When did you get this fast?"

"Practice." she said, a little breathless but feeling nice with the cold air slapping against her face. "Besides, I really don't wanna end up in the stables."

He laughed at that.

"That makes two of us. I hate those animals."

Alina frowned. She just didn't wanna clean up their shit, but other than that, she could find nothing wrong with horses.

"Why?"

"Those long faces," he said, gesturing over his own. "they're scary."

"You're scared of horses?!" she asked, disbelieving. 

"Why don't you yell it a little louder?" he asked, looking around at the disperse group, but he was smirking. They weren't at the front, but they weren't slagging at the back either.

"Sorry." she leaned in. "I'll keep your secret if you help me not to be the last."

"I don't think you need my help," he laughed. "but sure."

She got knocked down on her ass by a short Inferni woman with dark blonde hair, but Alina laughed it off, hiding her embarrassment, and stretched out a hand. The Inferni rose an eyebrow and then helped her up.

"Thanks." she told her, dusting off the back of her kefta.

"For kicking your ass?"

"Hey, I think I did learn a thing or two." she winked. "Next time I'll be ready."

"Oh, so you want a rematch?" the woman asked, amused, as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"If you're up for it." Alina shrugged.

"Deal." they shook hands. "But it'll have to wait until we're done with him." she said, nodding towards Botkin, who was busy making rounds, watching the others. "I'm Natasha, by the way."

"Alina."

"Oh, I know. Everyone knows." she smiled once more before retreating to a small group of Inferni that had reunited by a corner.

As she passed by the lake in her usual route to Baghra's hut, Alina got startled by the damage she had done to the perfectly green grass. Gardeners were still at work getting rid of the black mass she had left in her path, going so far as to dig into the earth. They saw her passing and glanced up, some frightened, others definitely not amused.

"I am so sorry." she whispered frantically, before hurrying her steps.

"Don't let the heat out!" was all the greeting she got from the ancient woman.

Alina closed the door and hurried to the chair that awaited her. She was smiling.

"I don't think that will be a problem." she said, proud of herself.

She scoffed. "So I have heard. Show me." she said, hitting her in the arm with her cane.

"Ouch!"

With a nasty frown, Alina placed her palms in front of the others and called the light that she had rejected for so long. So eager to answer, her power rushed through and out of her, and she was almost puzzled by its intensity. She focused on keeping the orb small.

"Uh. Well, it took you long enough."

"A 'Congratulations' would be nice."

She got hit again. Her light wavered and then solidified again.

"Congratulations? What? Do you want a parade thrown in your honour as well? For what? Doing what you were supposed to do your entire life? Shut up and expand the orb. Make it encompass the entire place."

With deep breaths, both to concentrate and control her anger, Alina steadily expanded her light, making it fill the hut.

"Bend it to its shape."

Carefully, she tried to do as she was told.

"You were right, about being held back." she uttered as she tried to shape her light to blend in with the walls.

"I know." the woman said, petulant. "Now call it back and repeat until there is no effort to it."

Alina tried, and tried again, but as eager as her power was to explode, her body was eager for a long, long nap. There had been so much repression, so much denial for so many years, that it was as if the light wanted to just explode out of her body and consume it all.

It scared her a little, but she focused.

The Darkling had told her she was magnificent, Alina remembered, and he had made it sound like she was capable of anything.

The way his grey eyes shone with such intensity, like he wanted to engulf her into his arms and have her all to his own, the way in which his hand felt against hers, or how just even being next to him made her want to lean into and over him like a lazy, overly clingy cat. 

She'd lay on top of him all day if she could.

Alina wondered what would've happened if Genya hadn't arrived at the moment she did. Would The Darkling had kissed her? What would his lips taste like? How would his beard feel against her skin? Just exactly how good was he with his tongue?

Alina blushed. The light flickered, as if excited at the mere idea of the man.

She had kissed a few people before, but him, there was something about him that told her that if he should kiss her only once, she'd spend the rest of her life running after the very same sensation and more.

"Dreaming about your dark prince again?"

She looked at Baghra.

"What?" looking around, she noticed that her light had expanded farther than the hut and she was glowing.

Alina snapped her hands, and everything was dark again. Her fingers tingled with power, her eyelids closed with exhaustion.

"I-I wasn't-" she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the new environment.

"Stupid, stupid girl. You need to focus on your task."

"I'd concentrate better if I wasn't being hit every five min-OUCH!"

"Do not make excuses with me. You are lazy, easily distracted, you do not know what you are getting yourse-"

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be such a great teacher, I've still got to see some actual teaching." Alina snapped. "All you do is yell at me, hit me and belittle me; yet one conversation with The General I can finally summon." the brunette spat, each word more angrier than the previous one. "So don't try to blame me for your shortcomings."

Baghra was silent, nostrils flaring. When it looked like she might raise her cane and hit Alina right in the head with it, she opened her thin lips instead:

"Out." she uttered, almost inaudible. "Out! And do not come back!"

"Gladly!"

Alina stood up and marched for the door, her steps almost as loud as the insults the old woman was throwing after her.

"Stupid girl! Unconscious! Just another pawn of his! You never learn! Lazy! Stupid! Blind!"

 It was a good thing the old crone couldn't see the tears of frustration and shame in her eyes.

She was on her way back to the Little Palace, trying to decide if she should bathe or go to the library first.

Baghra’s words still rang in her head.

Maybe, if she was quick, really quick with her bath,...but then again, she was getting too used to such a luxury, that once in there it was quite difficult to leave unless the water turned cold.

But if she went to the library, she’d be there until the words blurred and her eyes burned.

On the other hand, there were other grisha in the library, and she couldn’t afford to walk in there smelling like-

"Alina?"

General Kirigan's smooth voice had her turning on her heels, hand still massaging the spot on her arm Baghra's cane had so harshly landed. She had managed to hold back the tears, but the woman's word still stung.

"Moi Soverennyi." She greeted but forgot to bow.

He looked at her arm.

"How was your lesson?"

"I spent months with her and nothing; five minutes with you and I can summon." She basically spat, still bitter at Baghra's harsh words. "I think that speaks for itself."

He smiled, almost.

"Give the old woman some credit. She is good at what she does."

"Terrorizing isn't teaching." she replied, and then, with her head high, added: "She didn't get me to summon."

"No." The Darkling agreed, taking a step towards her. All engulfed in his black cloak, he almost seemed to float. "You did it. It was all you." He said it with such reverence that her breath became shallow.

She didn't look away from his eyes. The storms swirling in there were magnetic. There was so much going on in there at the moment, yet it all sped up through those grey orbs so fast she couldn't make sense of it.

"Why don't you teach me?" The words slipped from her tongue before she could think better of it.

He rose an eyebrow, taking another predatory step towards her.

"I serve the King. I run an entire army. I do not have the time to train everyone personally, nor would I want anyone to think they are favoured above others." 

He was so close to her now, she had to crane her neck to look up.

"You once said there was no one else like us; who could be a better teacher?"

In truth, she also wanted to see him more often. Glimpses as he passed through the Little Palace or left Os Alta, and the occasional conversation weren't enough for her.

"You flatter me, Miss Starkov."

"I only state my opinion." she took a step, shortening the distance, like he was a magnet calling for her.

Mirth shone in his eyes. It made her smile. 

"I will be going away for a few weeks." At this, her smile fell, and his formed as he tilted her chin up with his gloved fingers.

Alina stared up into his eyes, dark with something.

"I'll miss you." She whispered, foolishly, without thought. 

"Will you?" He asked, almost perplexed for a moment.

She found herself nodding.

"I know we don't get much chance to talk, but I like talking to you." She confessed, a knot in her throat. "You understand all,...this." she flickered her fingers and a tiny orb of light formed above her hand.

His eyes followed suit, almost fascinated, like he still couldn't quite believe her power was real. And when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe she was real.

His hand rose and shadows swallowed her light. Alina watched them dance, entranced by his power, and noticed it taking shape.

"For you." The Darkling said, handing her a black rose, from the base of its steam to the very last petal. "To remember me by while I am gone."

Disbelieving, she reached out and gasped as she touched the shadow. There was a little bit of gold in there, her own power hidden within, shimmering weakly here and there.

"I don't have anything to give you." She said, lamenting.

He leaned down, his beard rough against her soft cheek.

"Trust me, Alina," he whispered, her name on his lips against her ear making her tremble. "I could not forget you if I tried."

There was the whisper of a kiss against her cheek that seemed to linger for the longest moment, …and then he was leaving, cloak flipping behind him as he left the sun Summoner holding onto a small piece of shadow and a piece of her heart gone with him.

Click here for chapter Five

[serendipetite]

all this skz content in my dashboard is going to turn me into a stay some day, i can feel it! how dare you making me aware of how sweet and talented these boys are?! 💓

but seriously though, i may not know all their names, but i'm starting to recognise them and they seem really nice people!! not to mention their music and their choreos (that i know of) are really good!! their content makes me smile whenever i come across it, so thank you for sharing it! i hope you have a lovely day! 💕

hi sweet love! this message is making me so ridiculously happy!!! i've been so anxious about posting so much skz content when it's so outside of my usual posts but this makes me so happy to hear. i'm gonna type the rest under the cut because it's going to get long - hopefully that's okay!! - but i just want to say thank you and that this message just made my whole day! 💓

they really are so sweet and talented aren't they? 💕you honestly sound like me a few months back. ive been a casual fan since october. i only knew of felix and hyunjin but i'd watch their videos and always enjoyed their songs. but then a few weeks ago i came across a video of lee know reading a hate comment. it was titled something like "stop saying lee know is cold/heartless" and i thought it'd be like those yoongi videos where it's a compilation of just him being soft and cute. so i clicked it, not knowing anything about who he was, just curious. and my heart dropped. the video was of him reading a hate comment out loud. his eyes got very teary and he ended the vlive right away. i immediately felt this pull of like "i'm supposed to love you." and went to find out who he was. turns out he's lee minho, the second eldest of skz, dance leader and little shit extraordinare who is just as soft and sweet and kind as he is an absolute menace.

after learning more about skz, they've just blown me away. their music and talents are amazing of course but as people they are just so kind and have such love. hyunjin does "therapy corners" where he'll tell fans to write in their struggles and he'll read them aloud and respond in a vlive. if he doesn't get yours, he encourages fans to respond to each other. he always makes an effort to read the english comments too and respond so thoughtfully even if it's difficult for him.

bang chan is the eldest and the leader and he goes live all the time to sit and talk with fans in his studio and encourages fans to "lay their struggles onto him." he gives advice and listens and it's just such a comfort. he also is one of the producers and works so tirelessly and still puts fans first every day. he hand-selected each member, and is just such an incredible and thoughtful leader.

after bang chan is lee know. he's the dance leader of the group and there's videos of him teaching the choreo to the others and being so soft and patient. he's also a demon child who isn't afraid to put someone in their place, even fans on vlive. maybe especially fans on vlive. he's not afraid to tell anyone if they're being a dumbass but he's also the softest and sweetest thing. he treats the younger ones like his babies and dotes on his members so much. he's also called "cat dad" and "cat butler" because of how much he loves cats. he befriends strays and loves to rescue animals. he even handpicks his accessories that go to supporting wild life and animal charities. goodest good boy.

changbin is next! binnie!!! also a producer. i'm still learning about him but one thing is his earnestness and his morals. he's very much about being true to yourself and just being a very good and guided person. hyunjin had red hair and was talking about how many people said they loved it and binnie said "but you? do you like it?" and that's binnie in a nutshell i think!

then there's hyunjin. our little artist. he loves to paint and posts videos of his painting progress. he's so incredibly talented! he's very also beautiful but very anxious about that being all he's seen for. he's immensely talented and so sweet. i mentioned the therapy corners. they also all vlog openly (they're all on youtube) and he shares so much and takes us on coffee and cheesecake dates. he's very beautiful and graceful but also a menace. he and lee know can drive each other crazy, he's known as the one that can give lino back everything he gives (lino threatens to cook him in the air fryer and there's so many cute videos on youtube of their dynamic) but they also love each other so much and had an infamous 4hr long video call because they missed each other. they have a motto together of "let's go find happiness."

next is han jisung - hannie!! he's also a producer. he's such a sweetie omg!! and he's such a mom!!!! he is always trying to keep peace and control lol and also has a running joke of being lino's boyfriend (*dramatically* "I just wasn't enough for him!!" and "he'll crawling back to me one day" are just some of the things he's said lol. he looks after everyone so well and just has such a warmth to him. i always find myself searching him out. he's such a bright presence.

next is lixie!! felix!! the "sunshine" and everyone's baby. he bakes all the time and loves to cuddle his members and wrap himself around them. he's known for that deep voice of his but outside of that growl he's the softest thing!! he's just so very sweet and loves his members so very much. he and bang chan are both from australia and when the other members go see their families, if they don't go along too, they find fun things to do together. i mentioned he loves to bake, and he'll share photos of his creations, and they'll share videos of their cooking adventures (oh lord the pancakes.....)

seungmin!! he's a sweetie too! i'm still learning about him. he's a little shit a lot of the times too and he and lino can also drive each other crazy but he's also so sharp and observant and just cares so much for his members as well. he just seems so loving and soft.

jeongin - i.n.nie!! he's the baby and so doted upon. he's also super mature and observant and has the whole "aish these ridiculous hyungs……" thing down pat lol i'm also still learning about him a lot.

they're all such sweet boys. they vlog and include their families and friends and pets and they just share so much with fans, it's kind of jarring lol. they also work on all their own music and dances together. they are so talented but also just such good and comforting people. i feel "safe" with them if that makes sense. there's just this warmth and comfort there. they also talk a lot about mental health and are always their for their fans in such comforting and intimate ways. they don't shy away from heavy and loaded conversations, and instead always embrace this mindset of "come lay your troubles on me, and i'll help you carry it awhile"

i'm sorry for making this so long i just get so excited to share them with someone. if you ever want to talk about them or have any questions please message me! they've brought such comfort and joy to me and i'm so happy to share that as much as i can. thank you so much and i hope you have a lovely day too!! 💕💗💓💕💓💗💓

[fangirl-everythang]

Happy Father's Day Part 3

Summary: 3/3 Well, its the last part.

Warning: Sad, Mentions Death.

Word Count: 2269

"Harry? " I answer the phone.

"It's not Harry but glad you know your numbers." that high pitch annoying ass voice squeals. Rubbing my stomach, the baby's in go position and any day now my oven will be done baking. And of course, this bitch is answering his phone.

"Well bye-bye just thought you should know where he was at. " In the background, I hear Harry's voice going on about something so it must be true. Hanging up I sigh letting the hot tears roll down my cheeks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I blame myself really, I let him back into my life and this doesn't surprise me. I gotta pee.

Waddling over to the bathroom door a gasp leaves my mouth feeling the surge of liquids fall between my legs. Holy shit. My water broke! Fuck gotta go. Thankful my bag was already in the car. Harry had insisted once I hit the 36-week mark claiming Styles's are either early or fashionably late.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My knuckles turning white as I grasp the wheel. Nope, I'm not pushing anything out of my vagina. Can't do it. I refuse.

The contraction going away after a few brief moments of completely unreasonable pain. Dialing the numbers, I know by second nature, thankfully she picks up on the fourth ring.

"I don't think you should drive y/n"

" Just call 911. I'm almost there! " Gemma ecstatically shouts. She's just like her brother, "Where's Harrold? "

I put the seatbelt on and wince. It's just 28 minutes I can do this. "He's with his whore."

I can hear an audible gasp, "he wouldn't he's so excited for Athena"

"Well I just called him and she answered. " I grunt keeping my eyes on the two lanes ahead of me. Fuck I hate merging lanes people don't know how to drive.

"I'll be at the hospital as soon as possible but my phones gonna-" the line went dead. She did say she was on like 10% oh well.

I can do this just focus y/n. "Hear that baby girl we're almost there, hang on okay Hunny. " I say as a reminder to myself that soon I'll be leaving with another human with me.

6 miles to go that's what I'm talking about, another sharp pain spreads throughout my abdomen while waiting for the light to turn green. "OH COME ON. FOR FUCKS SAKE!" they're getting closer by the minute. Shit. Arriving at a four-way intersection. I'm relieved to be at a red light, the contractions are longer and much more frequent. "Almost there Athena, this is the last light and a straight shot from there."

Abruptly my car is jerked forward with a sharp impact pushing to the oncoming lights. All I see are lights from both directions colliding with my 3,000-pound piece of metal. Sounds of shattering glass and sirens are the last thing I hear before it all fades to black.

||||||||||||||||

Harry's POV

"Has anyone seen Mr. Style's phone?" The helpful aid asked around the dressing room. I could've sworn I put it down for a moment. Y/n could go into labor any minute now and how I am supposed to know. Fuck. I'm stupid.

I was supposed to be here to perform and list nominees and then go back home to y/n. I can't wait to propose to her, she's all I could ever want and she's giving me the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for. Running a hand through my damp hair, the lights really build a sweat, I hear a familiar voice. "Looking for this lover? " she asks slipping my phone into my pocket.

"Good luck at home. " she smiles and winks. Before I could question it she walks away.

Looking down at the device my heart skips a beat, I have 146 missed calls. And I've been gone for 5 hours. Seeing Gemma's name on the screen again I swipe to answer.

"Hell-"

"Harry," she says sniffling.

"Gemma what's wrong? did I miss it? Oh my god I hope not"

"I think it would be best if you came now Harry." she breaks her voice cracking.

"Gem what?"

"Listen Harry, she needs you right now so please." she cries. Not needing another word, I tell Jackson the address and that I need to be there as fast as possible, 45 minutes later we're pulling into the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital.

"Congrats Harry!" Jackson says letting me out at the door. "Thank you!" I beam back at him.

Seeing Gemma, her eyes are puffy with tears still flowing. "Gem what's wro-," a sharp pain to my right cheek stings. Never has Gemma hit me like that, well not since I cut her prom dress. "How could you Harry? Cheat on her again WITH TAYLOR for Christ sakes!" She yells.

"I didn't cheat," I explain to my sister as calm as I can.

She looks at me with wild eyes pulling me into a hallway with fewer people, "Then what happened Harrold?" I clench my jaw instead of speaking, how dare she accuse me of cheating on my pregnant soon-to-be fiancé. Y/n Styles has a great catch don't you think?

"Is she here yet? Gem where are they?" I ask ready to see my new family.

She begins crying again "Harry there was an accident." Those five words make my breathing come to a halt. My heart shatters in a million pieces "Is Y/n okay? What happened?" She begins walking me to a door. "This one," she points. Looking through the glass I see y/n with bruises and cuts to her beautiful face, her stomach nearly deflated from when I last saw her this morning, a cast on a swollen leg of hers, and a sling holding a very damaged arm. Tears brim at my eyes looking at my love on that hospital bed. "She's awake." Gemma walks past me running to the outside.

I gently knock on the door, waiting for a response which I don't get. "Y/n?" I approach her almost as If I were going to help an injured puppy. "Hey love" I smile at her which she glares at me and then turns wincing in pain. "You wanted this didn't you Harry?" I look at her confused. "This is probably great for you, a way out. Well leave." She states using whatever energy she can find.

"Baby I didn't want- I want you and Athena" She breaks down in uncontrollable tears.

"You were with that her and couldn't even bother to pick up your phone!" she screams. "Y/n I wasn-" a knock at the door interrupts my sentence, "Come in" She says glaring at me as a nurse opens the door.

"Hey there Mama, we have a visitor." the nurse wheel in a tiny cart that has a bunch of equipment coming from it. She looks at me and asks Y/n, "Is this dad?" she nods and rolls her eyes. "About time you made it!" She smiles my way. Placing the beautiful baby in front of us. She's so small and fragile. "The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you." She states picking up the tiny child and putting her in Y/n's arm.

"Hi pumpkin," Y/n coos into her ear. "Guess who decided to show?" She smiles, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. She nods her head towards me as I go to hold her. She's so soft and precious. Her small eyes have a gorgeous mix of both mine and Y/n's. She has such a cute round face, I couldn't imagine her looking any different.

"Hi there angel, I'm so sorry I was late." I see a spot dampen on her blanket that surrounds her, knowing that I'm crying. Her small eyes shining like twinkling stars. So small I can feel her fragile body between my large hands.

Another knock before the door opens when several doctors walk in. "Mrs. Y/ln, unfortunately, we have some bad news,"

"Oh, hello there Mr. Styles." They state acknowledging my existence. One of the female doctors places a black and white image on the lighted board illuminating the small figure.

"Unfortunately, due to the accident, Athena has suffered from what we call a fetomaternal hemorrhage."

"What exactly are you saying?" Y/n ask looking at the child still in my arms.

The slightly shorter male doctor points to the image. "This is an abscess of blood in the brain. Unfortunately, the risk is too large to operate. I'd give her another day at most."

"You m-mean," Tears start pouring down her face" I was so scared she was hurt. I-I promise I saw the light it was red, and I-I stopped but," She began heaving losing more air with each word. I gently rub her back as I cradle Athena with one arm.

"She's still being monitored but I'm afraid she won't have much longer." The first doctor breaks the silence. "According to the police report the car that struck you from behind happened to be a drunk driver, Gage Joyce." I can feel the anger surging through me. "I remember the clashing of metal, glass breaking, the sirens but it all went b-black." She mumbles, seemingly remembering the awful experience. I grab her hand in hopes of comforting her but it doesn't seem to work.

"After striking your car at 72 mph it had ample force to push your vehicle into the opposite traffic. Your vehicle took the most impact and was hit by four other cars. On scene, EMT's said you were in and out of consciousness mumbling about a baby. Taken and brought to the L&D." he finishes.

"Fetomaternal hemorrhages are often caused by trauma and sometimes can be revered but in this case, we've done all we can do." They all frown looking at the small girl still in my arms.

"No, there's got to be more you can bloody do! We're in a hospital for Christ sakes!" I exclaim, passing my daughter to the love of my life. She gently caresses her soft skin. She's literally a perfect combination of us. I cannot lose my family.

"You can leave, thank you all for your help." y/n says quietly, they oblige by her wishes and leave us with our daughter.

"Harry," she wipes a tear from her face cautious of the IV placed on her hand, "If what they say is true, I just want to spend time with her." She sniffles. I nod understanding. She looks back at the small being in her arms, "Hi pretty girl, Mommy's so happy to meet you," she unfolds the blanket from her. I sit next to her on the small bed in the room that smells of sterilization. Placing my finger near hers' she wraps her small hand around my thumb, her grip so tight for someone so small. Y/n kisses her forehead, "Harry," she runs her finger along her small legs.

"Can you sing the song?" nodding and softly singing Isn't she Lovely by Stevie Wonder, in the small hospital bed as our new life falls asleep. All night I watch her little chest rise and fall allowing y/n to get some rest soon following my two loves.

By the early morning, nurses are rushing in because of the loud beeping from the monitor, waking y/n and I. It feels like everything is happening so fast but in slow motion right in front of me. Those three words are the ones I didn't want to hear. "No! no. I have to take her home. She's gotta go home..." Y/n screams, not being able to see her face due to the tears in my eyes falling and rebuilding themselves faster than the speed of light. "Call it." One of the nurses shouts.

"Time of Death 6:18 am March 7th, 2019"

As they cleared out the room, I see her small lifeless body curled into a blanket, almost as if she were sleeping, but no longer do breaths fall from her small heart-shaped lips.

//////////////////////////

Y/n hasn't said a word since we got in the car. It's been four days since we lost Athena. She slowly climbs into the car, still sore from the accident and birth. I go to the backseat holding back my emotions and putting the empty car-seat in the trunk of the car that should have been holding three of us.

Starting the silent journey back home she continues to look out of the window, a frown etched on her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks as she instinctively touches her somewhat deflated stomach. What kind of sick joke is this?

"Harry why were you with her?" she asks me looking down at what used to be her baby bump.

"I wasn't love, she took my phone while I was on stage." She just nods and remains silent until we pull up to the flat. She begins walking up the stairs as best she can. "Y/n wait, let me help."

"No Harry!" She yells. Pain evident in her voice, ignoring her I open the door and help her inside. "Harry I can't do this." I stare at her confused, "What can't you do y/n?"

"Us Harry. I can't look at you and not think of her." She sobs.

"Y/n we can-" I try to reason with her.

"No Harry, please just go." She whispers.

"I'm not losing both of you," I state holding back my own sobs. I feel like everything feels like it's getting smaller around me, suffocating in grief.

"You already have."

A/N: What can I say I have a thing for dark endings. Anyways I really appreciate the support loves. I hope you enjoy these! Right now I've been working on a Loki piece, I'm so excited for it. I changed the writing style tho, so it's not 1st person per usual. I think it's going pretty well so far.

xoxo Janelle

[heyheyheyhaikyu]

TFF

twenty five - fleeting view (w/p)

The meetings seemed to drag on for forever. It's not like I wanted to get them over with quickly, because I loved you job and everything I do for it, but I couldn’t help the nagging curiosity pulsing through my thoughts.

Once the meetings were finally over however, I shot up from my desk and ran to take a quick shower before deciding what to wear. He probably won't change out of what he was wearing earlier, so comfy and casual should be the best, right? Ive always been one to second guess everything, so I ended up stock in a loop trying to figure it out for ten minutes before finally deciding.

After grabbing my jacket and locking my door, I was out of there in a flash.

I still couldn’t help but wonder what he could possibly want, but hopefully it wasn’t bad. He’d been so clingy since Yuji left, maybe he’s uncomfortable with that and wants some space? Or maybe he thinks I'm unconfutable with it? I mean we literally told each other how we felt, but we’ve avoided the topic ever since, so nothing is official. I just hope he hasn’t changed his mind...

I walked down the street for a while to the park he wanted to meet at. There was nothing too notable about it, just a bit a nature in the fast-paced city. I don’t think I’ve ever even given it more than a quick glance as I walked by. It was refreshing to see the beautifully grown-up greenery though.

The sky had turned a light shade of orange as the sun began its decent into the horizon. This had always been one of my favorite times of day. The way the sunlight reflected off the clouds, painting the sky in colors almost too mesmerizing to be real. The natural beauty in the world had always amazed me.

Entering into the park, I looked around, desperately searching for the familiarity of his stunning features. When my eyes met his from the short distance, it was like the whole world stopped. Every time our eyes met like this, the world always seemed to slow.

He walked the shot distance with his hands in his pockets and that classic smirk of his plastered on his face. “Well, hello there, puppy. I'm glad you could make it,” he said in a low tone as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it out for me.

I took his hand into mine with confusion tugging at my features and a light blush across my cheeks. “Y-yeah, of course, kitten. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He chuckled softly and lead the way as we walked. “So, how was work? Everything finish smoothly?”

“Mhmm! It was great actually! Although meetings over the phone have never been my favorite. The manager is out of town for a bit though, so it can't be helped,” I sighed and smiled.

“Yeah, I get that. I’ve always done better with face-to-face interactions.”

“Are we just going to keep small talking or are you going to tell me what we're doing here?”

He rolled his eyes. “Impatient as always I see.”

I huffed and dropped his hand, crossing my arms. “I am not impatient, Kuroo Tetsuro.”

“Sure doesn't seem like it,” he teased.

“I deal with Bokuto Kotaro on the daily for my literal living,” I blankly stated.

He just laughed and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, you got me there I suppose,” he said with his arms up in retreat.

We stopped in front of a small pond with a perfect view of the sunset through the tall buildings in the city. I stared in amazement at the beauty of the scene while Kuroo took my hand into his, looking at me.

“It's so breathtakingly beautiful,” I said in awe at the sight before me.

“It is, isn't it,” he said as he lovingly smiled at me.

I glanced over at him with an excited gleam in my eyes, meeting his gaze. I frowned and huffed. “You're not even looking at it,” I pouted softly.

“The fleeting beauty of the sunset today could never compare to you,” was all he said.

I stared at him for a moment, processing what he said. “I-” I tried to speak, but my thoughts were so scrambled, I couldn’t seem to respond. A warm blush pigmented my cheeks as I turned to sit on the bench behind us. “Stupid kitten,” I huffed.

He laughed and took a seat beside me, laying his head on my shoulder and looking out at the view.

After a few minutes on silence, a happy sigh escaped my lips. “For such an amazing place, I'm kinda surprised no one's here.”

“Well, it's not a well-known place. I mean, yeah, this park has been here for years, but it's rare for people to actually come in, so why would anyone know of the hidden beauties it holds?”

I lightly shrugged. “I guess that makes sense, but how do you know about this place? Do you come here often?”

He nodded. “I used to come here all the time in high school when I needed a break from it all. A lot of people expected a lot from me, especially in my third year. I might have seemed put together and on top of everything, and yeah, I might have been most of the time, but that doesn't mean I didn’t have far too much on my shoulders. I was still just a kid after all.” He closed his eyes and smiled softly. “This place was my safe space. When everything would get too overwhelming, I would come here to this park.”

I smiled at him and nodded. “I'm sorry you have so much stress on you back then. You were quite amazing at hiding it though. I might not have ever had the courage to talk to you, but I admired everything about you from afar. That might sound creepy, but it's true. Ive always admired the way you handle people. I mean you were friends with Ko and Tsuki after all- Being those two idiots best friend now, I know how parallel they are.”

He chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Oh yeah, they were so much worse in high school too...”

“Yes, yes, I'm aware.” I laughed with him and we chatted a bit more.

Before we knew it, it was already getting dark. “Oh, the reason I brought you here in the first place is still waiting,” he said with a bright smile.

“Theres more?”

“Well yeah, that was just to pass the time a bit more.”

We stood and walked around a bit more before he stopped and looked around, making sure no one was around before walking through a wall of vines and greenery, pulling me through with him.

I looked around at the new scenery with a perplexed look on my face. “What is all this?”

“This is my favorite place in this city.” He grabbed my hands and looked deep into my eyes. “I set it all up in hopes you’ll except.”

I looked at our hands then back at him. “Are you about to propose to me or something, kitten?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No... not yet at least.” he smirked.

I blushed lightly and rolled my eyes.

“I brought you here to formally ask you if you would be interested in being my boyfriend.”

“if I'd be interested in being your boyfriend, hmm?” I put my finger to my chin and tilted my head, looking at him with a smirk. “I suppose the thought does intrigue me a smidge.

“So, what do you say then, puppy?”

masterlist || next || previous

☞ Fateful encounters happen all the time. When you find yourself after a bad breakup getting pressured by friends into making an online dating profile, you give in and do it. The fateful encounter to come wasn’t quite what you were expecting though.

A/N: uh... this didn’t go as planned- what is this fluffy shit😤 I want to go back to murdering your hearts please and thank you✋😔 oh and there will probably only be like two ish more parts maybe?? Idk hope you enjoyed!

taglist: @kookie-doughs @sparklylandflaplawyer @azztronut @channiechanchan @choke-medazai @420-uwu @afire24

[bakugous-abs]

Ok so,, I'm not sure if this should be two separate asks but here goes - headcanon/scenario where a reader who has never really worked out her feelings crudely and unfiltered confesses to bakugou? How would he react? Does he know or have feelings for her too? Are they both super awkward or does he take the lead? Reader is a bit tsun and considers him a huge jerk so is really confused at how she also finds him hot. Possible scenario is during/after combat training? Much thankies :3

Enjoy!! I really liked this one and you hope you like what ive done with it. It turned out a bit long. Oops - Bomb

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Warm sun crashed down onto the training ground, pounding your skin with hot rays that forced your body to sweat. The drops flowed down your cheeks, dancing as the wind knocked them around, making them split and converge with each other till they reached your chin or the tip of your nose where they would drip onto the hard ground.

It sucked to be absolutely honest. The heat was draining as you were forced to move around, dodging massive explosions from a particularly angry training partner. His screams of irritation for you to fight him or die trying bounced off the buildings and into your ears, but they were barely processed in your head.

Bakugou Katsuki. Known asshole to all, a friend of very few, a lover to none. A relentless jerk who constantly bullied his classmates and his supposed childhood best friend. A boy who doesn't even bother to remember the names of those he may be working with in the future. An absolute dick.

He royally pisses you off. He saunters around school without a single care for those he bumps into like he's the best thing this school was graced with. 

And yet. He was extremely attractive. That can be seen by anyone. A strong body structure with an equally sharp face to pair with it. His muscles were extremely toned for a high schooler, and jaw line so incredibly sharp you might as well be able to get a paper cut on it. Skin clear of any blemishes with an ever so slight tan to compliment it.

He was incredibly hot. If only he had a personality to match. Though by the permanent scowl that was imprinted onto his face, you guess it was only expected that he was not very friendly.

You hated him.

So why was it that this asshole could make your stomach flutter, your heart palpitate, and get your cheeks to become a rosy pink whenever he talked to you?!

The scowl that had unknowingly made it onto your face became even more defined. A growl emanating from your throat as you dodged yet another attack thrown at you by the blond, just barely escaping with no more than a graze from a surprised attack from his other hand.

He had no qualms with beating the shit out of anyone he came across to prove his point that he was the top dog, no matter their size or gender. 

You hated how completely admirable it was.

Bakugou let out an angry yell, "Why aren't you fighting me?! Stop fucking dodging me!"

You gave into his request, and landed on all fours, unleashing your quirk. Your vocal cords twisted and lengthened, and you unleashed a powerful roar similar to that of a lion. The sound waves combined with the wind from your voice sent a swirling mass of wind that flew up several thin layers of dust and debris that had collected on the ground. Even a few whole rocks were picked up and flew directly at Bakugou, surprising him.

Truth be told he didn't expect you to obey immediately, and that was a miscalculation that ended in him getting flown back a few feet back. He barely had time to fix his standing on the uneven ground before you came out from the swirling wind, spinning towards him and sending a powerful punch directly into what you assumed was close to his gut.

However you were slow to react to an explosion he let off on your arm that had connected with him, and got burned pretty badly as he was sent flying. A short yell of pain erupted from your throat that sounded similar to the roar from before, your vocal cords not yet going back to the size of a humans. A few more seconds and they would be back to normal. 

The burn on your arm pounded with every beat of your heart, heat radiating off of it from the explosion. Your skin was smoking and the scent of burning flesh filled your nostrils. 

Rage filled your heart as you stared at it, but not because it hurt (even though it did), but because of the fact that he was just so quick thinking. You never would have thought to counteract that, not that you had the reaction time to do so. It was one more thing you admired about him that sent your heart racing whenever you watched him fight. 

You howled in rage in your head. He was so unbelievably admirable and yet such a pain in the fucking ass!

He used this time you were staring at your wound to blast back towards you from wherever he landed and recovered from and taking hold of your neck, pushing you harshly back into a building wall.

"So now you decide to fight back huh?! After avoiding my attacks like a scaredy cat-"

"I am not a scaredy cat you asshole!" You grabbed hold of his arm and hooked your leg under his own and pulled, simultaneously twisting your body and sending him underneath you. 

You could feel the dam of your feelings breaking with every violent touch you inflicted on each other. It seemed you both were venting your anger today. But what the hell was he angry about that he had to take it out on you for?!

"Don't you EVER assume you know how I'm feeling!" The first crack in your dam caused the emotional water behind it to spurt out, the words tumbling from your mouth. Your grip tightened on the collar of his hero outfit, a mix of rage and overwhelming sorrow filled your expression. "You don't know the first thing about what I feel towards you!"

Bakugou didn't expect such an emotional expression to decorate your face. In truth, it surprised him, and he hated the way it made both his heart and his stomach hurt. He was about to retaliate when you began to speak once more.

"I hate you so much! You're such an asshole to everybody! Even your childhood friend if you can even call him that!" You could feel his muscles stiffen at the obvious reference to Deku. "But I admire you in almost every way that I hate you and it makes me sick! I hate how I want to spend more time with you each and every day despite how I know you feel about me!" 

Everything was coming out, you couldn't cry and yet you felt an awful need to. You hated this. Why were you feeling this way?

A sudden slam to your back brought you back to reality. Bakugou had flipped you over, putting both his hands on either side of your head.

"Dont be a hypocrite and assume that you know how I feel about you dumbass! Have you jot fucking realized that I feel the same?! How could you be so smart and top of the line and yet so unbelievably dumb as well?! I feel the same way you do and it also pisses me off!"

You were stunned. He felt the same? What did that mean? How were you supposed to make sense of and know if that's a good thing if you didn't even know what the feelings meant!

And then it suddenly hit you like a truck. You liked him. You had a crush on him. And he had a crush on you too. You both liked each other. And it pissed the both of you off.

Good god you were so dumb.

"Fuck." You whispered. You did not have the mental capacity to deal with this.

"I quit! I tap out!" You yelled, pushing the blond off you with every ounce of strength you had, your adrenaline starting to wear off and the wound on your arm was finally starting to process in your head. You hissed in pain as you held your forearm to your chest and to your heart, trying to hide both of them from the outside world.

"What?! You can't just tap out loser! Come back here and fight me!!" And yelled, going up and grabbing your shoulder, but you slapped it away.

"If you hadn't noticed, baka, I don't want to fight you! Not after realizing I like you! You don't realize how much that hurts, do you?! Take a hint!" You roared at him twirling around, not actually angry but more than a bit defensive.

There was silence behind you for a few seconds as you walked back to the school, hoping to get first aid, until you heard footsteps catch up to you and walk beside you, a gasp escaping your lips when you felt something brush against your hand.

"Dumbass." he grumbled. "Assuming what I'm feeling again." Was all he said as he walked close to you, sticking by your side the rest of the walk back, his pinky curled around your own in a small display of affection. Your heart beat fast, and a blush showed upon your cheeks. You looked the opposite direction.

"Dummy"