#i've been back for 3 months
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jobs will say they're disability friendly until you actually need them to be friendly about your disabilities
jobs will say they're mental health friendly until you actually have to miss work for it
jobs will say they support you taking time off until you actually do it
capitalism is a sham and employers do not and will not ever care about you, and if you're chronically ill, sucks to suck
i have an average of 1.5 absences a month and i'm tardy an average of twice a month, and somehow that's still too much.
18 absences in a year if i go at the current rate. 18. out of the 208 days total that i work (4 on, 3 off, with a 3 hour commute each direction.) 18. days. of absences. and that's too many.
and god forbid i be more than 15 minutes late.
#it's because we're horrifically understaffed#animal rescue is understaffed and underpaid and burnt the fuck out#but where else am i gonna go#back to retail? my body can't take that anymore#a decade of 8 hours a day on my feet has quite literally crippled me#i called out today because i dared to have fun over my weekend and my hip pain flared so badly that i couldn't put weight on it#i should stay home and rest it tomorrow too#but i'm not#because my boss already texted me today to inform me that my absences are “alarmingly too frequent” and “becoming problematic”#i took fmla for a month and a half last year because i couldn't handle existing#i've been back for 3 months#my shelter laid off 15% of our staff within a month of me returning#critical teams were cut entirely#and my team#the adoptions team#has seven people total#that's not enough#that isn't NEARLY enough#not for an animal shelter of our size and animal volume#that's why me calling out is “problematic”#because HR won't greenlight us for more positions#because of a problem THE CEO caused by driving us into the ground financially#and if i leave i have to start all over somewhere else#i have to wait a year to be eligible for fmla at a new job#i lose my benefits#i don't even know if i could FIND a job#the market is awful and i will literally collapse if i have to work a standing job again#i made it six months at my last one#because i was so dizzy and in so much pain all the time#undiagnosed issues of course
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*sighs* hello.
here, have some hurt/comfort reylo.
you're welcome.
#been having a very heavy burnout lately#lately meaning the last 3 months#cries#haven't been able to draw anything other than uni work#sometimes it be like that#but soon#soon i'll be back with some more updates on all my unfinished projects that I've been teasing#hopefully#it's been a while#who am i kidding it's been more than 4 months at this point#my deepest apologies#anyway#reylo fanart#reylo#rey nobody#kylo ren#ben solo#hurt/comfort
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I've been having a delightful time stumbling over my emojis being used in random servers, so here's more
#It's seriously so funny to see an emote of mine in random conversation from a private server#emojis#art#rain world#Some people went even farther and apparently started using other art of mine as emotes#Which is fine but absolutely buck wild to stumble over#Since some of the art they chose is literally wip versions of my current pfp#??? Sure I guess 😂#rw survivor#rw monk#rw saint#spearmaster#Most of these were requests. The rest were just the emojis I use the most turned into scugs lol#You get to decide which was which lmfaoooo#Also here's some lore: a while back I made 'hunterwheeze'#and the bit was everyone liked it so much they wanted it in the server#So I said bet and threw a bunch of emotes to the staff to hear their thoughts#And way more than I thought got added!#Except for hunterwheeze 🤣🤣🤣#Instead they chose a super edited screenshot of some animation frame I made a few months ago I added last minute for giggles#Which I was DELIGHTED by. It's perfect#Also the only instance of the emote since it's technically not on this blog 😉 not transparent anyway#Oh and here's my favorite 'wild' emotes I've found:#1) that person that dmed me to reveal there was an animated emote for every variation of rivulets face I made that one time#(I was not allowed to join the server)#2) discovering an emote has been in use for months in a server swathed in drama and in the throes of being orchestized from the community#3) that one nightcat-saint emote appearing on a random server announcement (it's so niche I was astounded anyone used it lmfao)#Most sightings are totally benign but these were just hilarious
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storymode but instead of smallfry I get my fav salmonid as my buddy
#splatoon#frye splatoon#maws splatoon#splatoon 3 spoilers#maybe?#hi guys. completely unrelated but I went back to procreate and drawing is easy again. I've been nerfing myself for months smh#also I would never actually replace smallfry I LOVE THAT THING
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Snapshots of simpler times..
#hellooo been a while.. again#i was overwhelmed by finals but now I've been over two weeks off of school so you get a treat!!#i was feeling nostalgic and wanted to draw uniforms and this came to be#it's supposed to look like candid photos if it doesn't that's the fault of your lacking imagination /s#anyway i tried to improve on different things with each one so they're not really consistent but i tried my best#ignore how inconsistent my artstyle is you just gotta get used to it#the picture with sleepy tubbo is titled whittle boy in my heart <3#the first two are kinda related. tommy shot up the mess hall and had the month's cleaning duty cus of it#anyway i ramble too much here. it's good to be back tho! maybe I'll draw something else before the end of the year lmao#my art#dsmp fanart#cwilbur#ctommy#ctubbo#cniki#cfundy#lmanberg#fennec.art
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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ah yes my favorite rogue ast... vax'ildan? (aka gale has hair envy + hairswap... kinda)
this is purely self indulgent + wanted to try some unconventional (radioactive) color palettes for them
these two r my favs from dnd related media + ylfa from never after but idk as much about it? caleb + jester will probably join this group lol but m9 needs to get animated first bcs... i'm not watching all those streams man
hey isn't this almost the exact color spectrum dogs can see
#every few months i've been searching “vox machina s3 news” bro PLEASE titmouse i need this so bad u dont understand#i've only watched the animation so please don't spoil anything;;#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 fanart#my art#vax'ildan#legend of vox machina#sorry astarion vax was the first rogue in my heart ... his va was already giving me brainworms (+heartbreak) years back
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i've been playing the game in my own time but i gotta share this lil angel cus she's the cutest toddler my sims have ever had
#ts4#sims 4#hello hiii casually posting as if i didn't disappear for a few months#lifes just been beating me up these past two months and i ended up shutting everything out#the last two weeks have been particularly rough#but i'm still kicking 🙏🏻#i've been playing a lot of fortnite and terraria and wobbledogs#sorry for ignoring all my asks and dms and mentions since like fucking april#jesus christ its september now. where'd the time go#anyways GRACIE ❤️❤️❤️#full name gracie-lynn dufford#her mom is one of my favourite sims i've ever made#i'll probably start posting more soon enough since college is starting back up and all my procrastination habits will come back to me#you will see more of this lil cutie and her family#hope everyone's keeping well ❤️❤️#i will try to answer some asks and stuff tonight#no promises tho i'm sorry#bye til then <3
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Creative Hubris takes another unsuspecting victim.
#non mdzs#It's not even that many pages and I'm getting my ass kicked!#As much as I have been clawing at the walls - I have learned so much! This project pushed me more than I thought it would#I am so excited to share what I've made. I think its actually some of the best work I've ever done.#but I really do feel like I've stumbled back into the room covered in blood and holding a smoothie.#The issue being: at some point the sunken cost fallacy kicks in and you go:#'well I might as well put in extra polish since I've spent so much time on this already'#That's your EVIL BRAIN talking to you who wants you to live in EVIL COMICS LIMBO.#Sorry to my followers who miss the mdzs comics. I went mad at sea for a month and all I brought back was a short comic.#Posting my silly side doodles to bide me time as I continue to drink the sea water.#Set me free into the plains where the horses roam and I will be able to heal <3
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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wonwoo - BOOmily outing #3
#svtgifs#svtcreations#svtsource#svtdaily#fywonwoo#seventeen#wonwoo#wanna be back on my giffing bs but also thinking about giffing makes me go meh lately#i have been giffing a lot for the past 2 years so it kinda makes sense#once upon a time i would make maybe 7 sets per month#and now the most i've done was 50 i think LMAO#but yeah maybe i'm back on my bs maybe i'm not <3#there is one more set incoming too#(part of it is 100% the lack of engagement lately because this site is alive but also so dead?)#b.edits
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#so like aliexpress used to have a terrible reputation in terms of like quality and truth in advertising and such right#but like. amazon and etsy are swamped with bootleggers and dropshippers now too#so I figured like. can't be any worse right?#besides I know how to double check descriptions and measurements and examine images critically#I've shopped shady sites before like back when banggood was the only place to get those cute diy miniature kits#(now you can get them at regular craft store chains which is Wild to me)#but I have never opened aliexpress because everyone was always just like 'Never Go There'#(but then again these days folks are doing massive temu hauls left and right)#(so clearly norms have changed even if common perception of aliexpress has not)#I open it up and I immediately find the rug I spent an entire day hunting for unsuccessfully earlier in the month.#and a ton of incredible bootleg kirbs.#and a style of hair clip I've been hunting for for *years*.#soooo I spent the entire day in a pastel fugue lol#(I have not spent any money yet but I'm probably gonna)#(so like I can't confirm that you're not gonna get scammed or whatever just like. use common sense.)#(don't trust sale prices read descriptions/reviews when available and try to avoid work stolen from independent artists)#(that's usually gonna be on printed stuff like phone cases and posters)#(and tbh I have no qualms with stolen official art as long as the quality is as advertised)#(but there's a big difference between stealing from Multinational Corporation and stealing from Some Guy)#anyway done rambling now <3#favorites
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happy last-stretch-of-baseball-season-before-hockey-season-starts to all who celebrate. can i interest you in an improved take on baseball au robotter?
#hockey art#hockey#stars#dallas stars#jason robertson#jake oettinger#z:art#thought about linking last year's iteration of this au but i am choosing self love (not making myself look at them again) <3#it's only been a little more than a year since i got back into trying digital art & i've gotten SO much more comfortable having fun#i think in the past couple months esp i've like. let myself have more fun w using a million layers to get Picky about colors & shading#i have given into my urge to make things randomly sparkly.#likewise given into the urge to go buckwild with hair. etc etc etc#jake's star freckles are eternal though i am too fond of them now to stop. same w making jason's forehead moles stars#also every version of catcher otter has GOT to have painted nails even if he would canonically use pitchcom to commune w pitcher miro#robo’s proportions ARE off but these were done to procrastinate the delly fic i want to finish this week so he can live w his big head
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oh, when we're alone / it's like we're home
heartliming x home by reese lansangan
for @feralmuskyscentedhoepran
#moonlight chicken#heartliming#gemini norawit#fourth nattawat#uservid#khaotunq#tuserhidden#tusersilence#*showcase#rowan gifs#arbitrary milestone prompts#ahhh it's been most of the month since i've made a gif i'm so glad to be back :') <3 and learning things again! hehe. the text go curvy
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i'm trying to get back into drawing more often again, so i tried to do a quick redraw of an old thing to warm up, kinda. original under the cut
[id in alt text]
you could probably just look through my archive to find this one, but i think it's more satisfying to see them together. this one is from... 2021.... eugh... passage of time
#persona 3#persona 3 spoilers#death#blood#i still really love the idea for this one.. saw the p3re answer announcement and got a rush of Feelings#it always felt like something was missing from this first version so i wanted to try to do it more justice#though i did steal the skeleton hand directly from the original#it's a nice shape and at this point i consider the original one like a first draft#so it's fine and very art legal probably.#my art#fan art#and i'm gonna try to get back into posting more. this was me trying to rip off the bandage i guess#i've been trying for days but uh. anxiety...#i have a slight art backlog from the past few months though so hopefully the posting fear subsides a bit so i can share stuff
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It’s Almost Christmas! 2023 - Day 21
POV: you are the defense, and haven't read the updated autopsy report
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#i've been looking forward to drawing him all month <3#though his bangs continue to be THE WORST TO DRAW they fight back ;_;#alyx art#it's almost christmas!
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