#i've been seeing a lot of negativity and doubt regarding this game

[ampleappleamble]

set entirely within the Living Lands!

takes place shortly after Deadfire!

dynamic rock-paper-scissors combat requiring weapon switches!

context-sensitive ability and spellcasting button!

skill trees instead of classes!

no romances with your companions!

[chaisshitposts]

𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐝 '𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲

FULL DISCLAIMER.

yes the challenge name is corny, I don't care 😡 anyways, the challenge that I am about to propose does include things involving the the void, however, it is not centered around the void, because we as master manifesters are able to manifest drastically outside of it. this may be for everyone, but it's not for quitters. this is a lot to read, apologies in advance, but I recommend you read this in it's entirety anyways!

DESCRIPTION.

For this challenge, we will be combining a variety of methods to change our realities for the better, anyone can participate at any time. This challenge has no 'finish date' like other challenges, however, we will have a check-in a week after our start date to take note of progress. I do not believe that time limits should be put on things that we desire, however, it can motivate consistency and holding ourselves responsible on our goals and accountable of our own progress.

GOAL.

The main goal surrounding this challenge is shifting our mindsets towards obtaining our dream lives as well as keeping a mental diet that works in our favor. What I often find with these manifestation challenges are that folks give up too early on their goals when they see no movement in regards to their /main/ goals they are constantly seeking proof from, it's important to remember that time is simply a manmade illusion and that we are all different in various ways which is a beautiful thing we must remember. And there is always movement with our manifestations, even if we can't consciously see it.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐎𝐍𝐄

Just like one would do when constructing a void list, create yourself a list of things you desire, as well as affirmations you want to be true. Doesn't matter how long the list is or what words you use or what language you use. Just make a list. You can include things about your dream life, dream apartment, dream financial situations, how often you enter the void, how quickly you enter the void, self-concept, mythical things, desired appearance, any kind of revision, superpowers, supernatural events, personality changes, drastic health changes etc, whatever you like. When creating your affirmations please remember to use past tense (always/used to/ have been) or present tense (right now/currently/ right this moment/ right this second/instantly/immediately). Make your affirmations/afformations/askformations as detailed and as long as you want, your subconscious always remember each and every detail. I'd also recommend throwing in some manifestation rules for yourself.

EXAMPLES.

I love my body.

My skin is perfect in every way and will always remain perfect with everything I do.

I've always been pretty.

I always have hella money in my bank account.

Why am I so lucky?

Why do I always enter the void instantly after just thinking about it once?

Everytime I fall asleep, I always wake up in the void.

I am a master at lucid dreaming and can lucid dream whenever I want just by affirming for it once.

I love how long, shiny, and healthy my hair always is.

Everytime I breathe I get more and more handsome.

Why am I so good at manifesting?

Regardless of everything, I can manifest anything I want instantly after affirming for it three times and it instantly conforms in the 3D.

I have my dream bedroom right now with blue walls, hardwood floors, a wardrobe filled with clothes from my y2k pinterest board, my ideal gaming set up, and an LG touch flat screen TV.

I can shift realities as easily as I can breathe.

The more I obsess over my desires the faster they conform in the 3D.

Even if I have negative thoughts or doubts, I can still manifest anything I want instantly.

Everything works in my favor, the law is always on my side.

I already have my desires, every thought that affirms the opposite is an illusion.

Whatever I say works, all techniques and methods work instantly for me.

Doing nothing works, and doing everything works when it comes to manifesting.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐓𝐖𝐎

Give that list a name. Any name ya want, doesn't matter. Ya could even just call it your 'Void List.' My own personal list has two names 'All That I Desire' and 'Void List'. Ya could also call it 'Dream Life,' 'I Want,' etc.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

Create an affirmation that suggests you have everything on that list. Here are some examples, but do not use these to limit any other ideas you may have or what affirmations may sound most natural to you.

I have everything on [insert name list].

I manifested everything on my list instantly and easily.

I effortlessly have everything on my list.

Everytime I breathe something from my list manifests instantly.

I have my dream life.

I already have everything I want. Everything in my life is perfect.

I already have everything on [insert name list].

Regardless of everything, I have everything on [insert name list].

Isn't it wonderful?

I literally have everything on my list right now.

Everything on my list has already manifested.

My personal affirmation: Regardless of everything, I have All That I Desire.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

Use Psych-K to affirm this affirmation for 10 minutes (at least), or just affirm for ten minutes without Psych-K. This can be done multiple times through each day, don't limit yourself to just a single session if you don't want to, do whatever makes you feel fulfilled. I would recommend trying to do this at least once per day.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄

Outside of Psych-K or your focused affirming, I want you to use this affirmation whenever you think about anything you desire, whenever you have doubts about anything, whenever you have negative thoughts, or you can just robotically affirm this throughout the entirety of your day. It's okay to have opposing thoughts, but you need to ignore them, you cannot give them anymore attention, do not entertain them, and affirm your desires. Your umbrella affirmation is your backbone, it is your guardian angel. And if you have moments when you don't think you can stop those spiraling thoughts, take your umbrella affirmation or any other affirmation that benefits you and say it aloud with authority, over and over for 2-3 minutes. You can't say something aloud while simultaneously thinking another thing. Go RIGHT for your affirmation, we don't care about the old story anymore.

The most important thing for this step is to stop yourself from thinking the opposite of what you desire, and it's okay if you have a negative thought or two, but quickly catch yourself before you can spiral or fall back into the victim mentality. Remind yourself— no matter if you have negative thoughts, you always get what you want and everything's going to be okay. It's important to be gentle with your thoughts but also assertive when learning something new.

With robotic affirming, feelings don't matter at that time, it's simply for saturation purposes and eventually the feelings will develop on their own with robotically affirming. And if you're like me, you might just wanna flood your head with robotic affirmin' so you can stop negatives and doubts or whatever from even having the chance to come to the surface. However, if needed, feel free to affirm with authority, attitude, sass, or whatever makes you feel more powerful.

The more you repeat, the more likely you will repeat the affirmation without even realizing. I often find that robotic affirming often leads me to waking up and that affirmation is the first thought I think, that's just how saturating it can be. And with robotic affirming (affirming all damn day or at least when I remember to) and a decent mental diet, manifestations will start popping up on that very same day.

TIP: Feel free to look over your list whenever you want, as many times as you want. And if you have moments where you wanna get specific, just refer to your list and affirm that particular affirmation that you want to become true.

TIP: Just woke up? Affirm. Eating? Affirm. Have break time? Affirm. Have a moment to chill? Affirm. Taking a shower? Affirm. Using the bathroom? Affirm. Doing your make-up? Affirm. Getting dressed? Affirm. Getting ready for work/school? Affirm. Watching something you're not really paying attention to on TV? Affirm. Watching YouTube videos? Affirm. Affirm. Affirm. Affirm. Affirm.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐒𝐈𝐗

(Optional) If applicable, and if you have trouble with robotic affirming or if ya just don't feel like it, try out recording your affirmation and looping it. There are multiple applications to be used such as Self-Pause and Parrot. I often do this myself using my bluetooth earbuds with the volume at a low enough level to hear them but not loud enough to distract me from other things. And because of who I am, I will often put overhead headphones over my bluetooth headphones to listen to music or audiobooks (that's a lot, ik but its like listening to subliminals but you can change what you're watching/listening to). Or you can play the looped affirmation at a very low volume on speaker from any kind of device while going about your day. And just because you're looping your affirmation in the background, it does NOT give you permission to affirm the opposite of your desires, you need to hold yourself accountable for the thoughts you are thinking. You control your thoughts, your thoughts don't control you.

If you do all of these things, monitoring your inner thoughts, and your inner conversations, you are bound to see or feel changes around you as well as inside of you, that's the law. Things change according to our own assumptions and how strict we are with our conscious thoughts. This way, not only are you simultaneously changing your thoughts about the void, but you are also manifesting what you want to change with the void in the first place simultaneously. With this in mind, you manifest outside of the void, a lot of things on your list, and when you do consciously wake up in the void, you'll be able to manifest the rest just by saying you've got everything on your list. It's foolproof with guaranteed success as long as you continue to hold yourself accountable and remain consistent.

Addressing Some Potential Doubts About The List Method or Why This Challenge 'Might' Not Work

Some of you may be wondering, how will my subconscious know what's on my list and how will it associate everything on my list with the name of the list that I give it? The subconscious remembers everything you do, even things that you don't consciously remember. It's constantly taking notes on everything that's said which is why, precisely, it's important to watch what you're thinking as well as what you're saying aloud. You know exactly what you mean when you're referencing certain things. And think of it like this, you are already aware that the void is within us, and when you're doing this challenge, you're constantly feeding this new information into the void that's already inside of you. The only thing you need to do is correct your conscious thoughts to think in favor of your desires. Also, there are various perks that come with this challenge— you're able to manifest all types of things all at once so you don't need to limit yourself to changing one thing at a time, the affirmations and desires in your list are immediately saved into your subconscious and all you have to do is repeat the umbrella affirmation you chose, whenever you feel particularly doubtful/negative about a certain subject you can easily go back to reread what affirmations you wrote OR you can just continue robotically affirming your umbrella affirmation, and finally, you are also practicing detachment from your goals because you've pretty much wrote them down, and may have consciously forgot about them, but kept affirming that everything on your list has already manifested. And yes, you may have goals you are consistently checking for in the 3D, but with this challenge you force consistency and saturation of the mind.

TIP: if you have certain affirmations on your list that involve shifting, the void, or anything like that— i.e. "If I say an affirmation 3 times in a row it instantly manifests and conforms in the 3D." Feel free to try it out during the challenge, but do NOT, I repeat, do NOT get discouraged if it does not grant your desired results immediately. Try to be unbothered and go back to affirming your umbrella affirmation. But if you can't do that and you end up having a moment where you're sad or pissed off, give yourself a second to feel that emotion and then I want you to be stubborn and go find that affirmation you want to become true and repeat it to yourself with authority for 2-3 minutes, say it aloud or in your head, whatever makes you feel it. After that, congratulate yourself for not giving up, because who knows, maybe your manifestation did manifest in the 3D but it's a little delayed and will appear later that night or even the day after.... Don't sell yourself short. If you want something badly enough, I know you are willing to do whatever it takes to get it.

TIP: Feel free to combine this with the lullaby method, SATs, mediation and anything else you can think of.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍.

It's okay to start this whenever you wish, but procrastination is our worst enemy, start right now. Have fun, get excited, shit's about to change in your life, I guarantee it. Make your list, choose your umbrella affirmation, affirm like a maniac, build your foundation, and make life easier on yourself. Results are guaranteed.

If you have any questions in regards to anything in this post, feel free to send in an ask, or if you want an immediate answer feel free to dm me with your questions! I will try and help the best way I can.

[inkbeanjo]

2, 3,4,5,6,7 for Moni and Retro on the character ask please. i love hearing about your characters

houuhghghjK i will do my best to answer retro's half, though i'll open with some behind the scenes that might shed some clarity on neo-a's weird existence in the real world.

Neo Automisia came about after I'd been playing Moni in a shadowrun living community for like 3 years, and after a point where i decided I wanted to break from that system's lore/canon out of desire to write my own shit and also out of disagreement with a lot of SR's writing- irl i've never really grown up in places or had the same friend groups for more than 3 years at a time, and my experience in making friends has been a series of meetings and farewells since I was little.

Ironically enough this's how a lot of my time playing Moni wound up being- games in the living community were sign-ups as opposed to set player groups and set tables you'd normally expect from a tabletop setting- think billboard with job postings kinda vibes, with things happening during/after/between jobs. As such, at least when it comes to fellow runners/key npcs, I'm doing my best to translate friends characters I've not gotten to really play with/hear from in years- or at least haven't had space TO do things with, life happens/things get busy etc etc you get it. Retro is OracleofMaya's wonderful gremlin, and a lot of my ability to write consistent/in-character dialogue for her comes from the fact that we talked/wrote a LOT over the years and i have an active crush on her/like writing stuff with her u///u

Long lead in over here we go:

It really depends on circumstances for the both of them- they're incredibly awkward and dealing with a lot of baggage individually/mutually, but with the right company they tend to light up. In Moni's case if worst comes to worst, she's anxious enough that even in bad company/bad circumstances she'll still titter out a giggle before realizing this isn't the time nor place.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

From my time playing alongside Retro, it never felt exactly an easy thing to earn her trust; partly due to the fact of her being a technomancer in a world that readily exploits and/or abuses them to the nth degree, and partly due to the fact that a lot of the people she and Moni worked with were either opportunistic or WAY too prone to oversharing critical information. Add [DATA EXPUNGED] to the mix and its really hard to blame her for shutting others down or out but again right company/right circumstances made all the difference in exceptions or changing that.

On Moni's end, her depression and various horribly negative experiences with people she loved or trusted have oriented her, for the most part, not to trust other people- or at least, that's the direction she tries to orient herself toward in some attempt to protect herself, and others from her. That obviously hasn't and doesn't work up to the current point in chapter 3, as Moni is basically an easily excitable puppy in a metahuman's shape.

In Retro's case, extremely- I have zero doubts that had Moni ever not kept self-vigilance up and spilled the beans regarding Retro being a technomancer, Retro WOULD have made good on that promise to fry her brain.

Distrust is fluid for Moni/liable to shift and change with circumstances and her mood- in this case I'm going to opt to make a slight shift and say that, with specific and wrong buttons pushed, it is very, very, very easy to earn a lethal grudge from Moni as opposed to solely distrust.

Both Moni and Retro are not only Nightrunning criminals for hire, but also staunch Anarchists living in the hellscape that is late stage capitalism and continued global warming/corporations having just about zero regulatory oversight or consequence placed on them. Laws on paper are not synonymous with justice or systemic equity, and both growing up in the fringes of the Seattle metroplex 100% plays into how they see the reality of how those laws actually play out in favor of the rich, powerful, and influential.

In the time I played with Oracle, Retro's nostalgia often times followed similar patterns to Moni if that tracks; both of them are rooted through warped sentimentalities and fractured memories for pasts they either can't fully remember, or remember in better contexts and through rose-tinted glasses than honestly- at least for a time. I don't wanna spoil too much in this regard, nor for the more positive ways they hold nostalgia for genuinely nice times/moments, so that's all I'm gonna say.

For Moni: 22. Jealousy is weird for Moni, because it's only really ever happened when Retro had started seeing/dating(?) a magical psychologist character of mine who has a hate boner against moni and vice versa. Moni herself is polyam, pan, and for the most part easygoing when it comes to interpersonal relationships; she doesn't really have explicit desire for material stuff barring cybernetics to cram into her meat suit, or good food tucked in the pockets and hole-in-the-wall joints of wherever she's living. Even in the case of the aforementioned psychologist, the jealousy stemmed more out of her overt fear of a mage who could root through, tweak, or otherwise puppet your brain like a marionette. 23. Envy is also weird- as mentioned the material things she does want are things she has zero problem waiting or saving for, and when it comes to relationships/the relationships of her partners and metamours she's open/patient. But a core piece of Moni I'm in the process of explicitly laying out/continuing to lay out is her absolute impulsiveness- the things that she DOES envy are immaterial and more abstract, in ways that to most would just sound like complete nonissues. It's something yet to be brought up, but Moni genuinely envies her peers and coworkers who have or are working toward a definite retirement plan, or have the intention TO retire because they have something in mind. For Moni at this point, she did not for one second in her career think about what retiring might look like or that she could/should- it was utterly foreign to be asked "what're you going to do after you're done running?", and to look inward only to find an answer along the lines of "what?". She envies people that have desires beyond what's immediately in front of them- not because they have it better, but because for all of her attempts to she can't figure out what she wants- no matter how hard she tries there's something missing that, to her at least, makes her feel like she was never supposed to be metahuman. This's one example but you get the gist, it's wanting to feel like you know where you're going and where you want to go/otherwise self actualize and feeling like you're drowning.

[smolstarthief]

Persona 5/Persona 5 Strikers: Pro-Police or Anti-Police?

Hoo boy... So this honestly has been a LONG time coming on my end because I have seen so much of that debate on social media (Twitter namely) and I can see the points of BOTH sides but there have been moments where it just got out of hand... Especially whenever people tried to put in a more grey/nuanced take only to be slammed and taken out of context. Even repeatedly mentioning the interrogation at the beginning of P5 which, I will admit has gotten tiresome. At least for me, I do still feel for Joker and I wished the game acknowledged his trauma more but there's a thing called, "beating a dead horse" and this is one along with "Haru says ACAB" in Strikers (which was done THREE TIMES in the same arc and it got annoying fast, like shut up already! We get it!). So, let's dive in a little bit:

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!

Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal

Now let me just say I know! Police in Japan are just as bad if not worse than the West and I STILL hate the idea of Makoto wanting to become a cop for such naive reasons (especially with what happened to Sae, her own sister!)... But there are at least some of form of nuances sometimes and by that I mean, I can see what they were trying to do? I do agree that P5/P5S backpedaled SEVERELY by deciding to sweep issues under the rug after addressing them and not continuing from such. In fact I feel like it could have been a hell of a lot better. But P5 did something different compared to previous games and addresses the issues DIRECTLY right at the beginning of said game! It was tense and horrifying, but needed. Of course... They then sweep it under the rug and act like nothing traumatic happened to our protag which is NOT a good look at all and I'm still pissed off about it. In the main game's case, it's portrayed as more black and white with only a SMALL amount of nuance like that cop that was trying to help Futaba when she went out by herself and got lost (which people ignore entirely by the way). So I CAN see where people got the "anti-police" message from... But that's only the tip of the iceberg as it's ACTUALLY more about Systematic Corruption, not exactly or JUST police corruption. Namely in politics with Shido and the Conspiracy (which is apparently still somewhat around in Strikers until Owada's downfall) controlling everything all the way to law enforcement. The force had been basically under his payroll (including the corrupt SIU Director before his death) whether by force or not (mostly not in this case though). Now honestly, the police depicted there are undoubtedly rotten to the core save for a VERY SMALL handful (the cop that was trying to help Futaba which, again, gets ignored by several). Look at the interrogators who ruthlessly beat and drug a minor without any second thought or remorse for example. But again, the black and white narrative the game kept unwittingly doing ended up being to its detriment in a way. I'm not defending those assholes AT ALL! They deserved every punishment given to them! But for a game that goes on about grey morality... It doesn't quite deliver on that. Still though, it does emphasize that it's more of the fault of the whole corrupt system, not just one part of it. There needs to be change and reform which is what our MCs were trying to do in a way (more like inspiring change but still). In the end, it's all about the following:

Corruption and abuse of power.

Again the police depicted in this game were incompetent at best, corrupt at worse with very few silver linings. But it's not just them but rather the one person responsible for the whole mess. Who had them under his payroll? Who controlled them and by extension all of Tokyo? Who was willing to dispose of anyone who "outlives their usefulness" or is perceived as a threat to what he wants (including his own family)?

SHIDO AND BY EXTENSION THE CONSPIRACY

Bottom line: They are definitely a problem but it's not just them.

"But, Joker and his trauma?"

I definitely understand that and still do. I fully believe he has and still has trauma with the police. Easy! But... I do feel like people go too far with it sometimes. It's hard to explain but there have been moments where people either use it as a justification/argument against someone trying to provide a more nuanced view of things or... Dare I say, depict him like a "uwu soft traumatized boi." Like I said, it's hard to explain on my end so feel free to ignore it. Everyone deals with trauma differently so there is STRONG chance that I'm overanalyzing it. I just remember moments where I just feel a little, I guess annoyed? I'm not sure exactly but final thing: I understand what he went through and I can't imagine how long it would take to recover but I hope he DOES overcome it.

"Sae? Akechi?"

Yep, even though their jobs are different, they are by and large members of law enforcement no matter how you spin it. Both were broken in a way. Akechi is pretty easy to explain with how Shido negatively impacted his life but not much about Sae, who dealt with sexism/misogyny at her workplace along with the trauma of her father's (also a cop) death. She no doubt had some idealism only to be hit with the fact that she's gonna have to use underhanded/downright illegal tactics to get by and even rise up the ranks. She, therefore ended up (well, nearly) corrupted herself before coming to her senses. That's honestly one of the BIGGEST REASONS why I felt like Makoto joining the force to become a police commissioner isn't a good, even a downright naïve, idea. I honestly would have been somewhat fine with it if it weren't for that fact among other things. Regardless of her willpower, it will go south fast.

Now... Onto Strikers!

Persona 5 Strikers

Since the game came out and I started playing it, I still feel like the system is still beyond saving, especially when attempting to do it from the inside. But I don't mind the added nuances that P5 didn't do much of. It's still continuing the critiques, just shows more of what does happen within said system and even has an ACTUAL officer (Zenkichi) say, "Yeah, my job sucks, everyone's corrupt, there are much better ways to do things and make a change but not this. I'm only staying because I have a daughter to take care of and it's all I know. I'm no different from them." Was it all handled well? I wouldn't say "yes" (Joker's trauma is BARELY addressed at all of course) but a little better than what P5's narrative did which only addressed the issues but not exactly follow up on them. Now to be fair... In the system, regardless of where you live, any one within it who remotely tries to do something or speak against it either lose their jobs or even go "missing" irl. Those have happened and it's more proof that yeah, it's rotten to the core. There's no denying it but regardless, that's NOT what the game is about at all. At least that's what I feel about it as it's only PART of the narrative. I think Zenkichi puts it best here:

Speaking of Zenkichi... Oh boy... Now I definitely understand some of the criticisms with him but honestly, he was the best written (PT) character I've ever encountered! He was honestly the perfect representation of those that genuinely want to help and do good, only to be held back by an extremely harsh reality. It was already hinted at with Sae but here? It 100 percent confirms just how harsh and even cutthroat it can be if it could break someone's idealism so badly. Even Kaburagi of all people thinks the same thing Zenkichi said:

Then there's his past and it's a tragic one! But let's look more at the decisions he ended up making:

While it was no doubt done to protect his daughter, he ended making a selfish decision along with a selfless one (which was brilliant!) with not only allowing the cover up of his wife's death and denying justice for her, but also ruining an innocent person and their family's lives.

It's horrible, but also... There's a grey area/nuance as with the rest of his character. It was both understandable, but also wrong as he, as Akane's Shadow puts it:

He sacrificed his values, his morals, all for the sake of having a peace of mind. Speaking of Akane, she's also an interesting case in a way that she more or less perfectly represents the more "black and white" views on justice in general. Namely the more toxic/biased kind. Her reasons are also understandable but she was also acting selfishly by only focusing on how SHE was effected by Aoi's death and not even considering those that were also grieving her death and/or that people grieve/handle grief differently than her. But back on topic.

Her own views and beliefs that law enforcement basically SHOULD be dismantled (mostly out of said childish bias and black & white views) and it's framed as WRONG and it's very much correct on that. Chaos and order are two sides of the same coin, one can't exist without the other. When I say ACAB, I'm calling for reform, defund, have the corrupt held accountable for EVERYTHING and even face jail time for their crimes! Defund the police, have the ones that arrest, harm, and even murder out of bias (race, gender, etc.), lose their badges/jobs and locked up, make improvements! It's saying that there IS still corruption out there and there's no denying it. But fully eliminating the law in general will just lead to more problems. Now granted, she's young and clearly doesn't fully understand why those views are ultimately wrong but still... It was a very interesting subject to tackle and I feel like they handled it well.

Now back to Zenkichi, he was at first in denial about his decisions ultimately being the wrong ones too and even tries to justify it. Of course, his Shadow said otherwise and that was when he finally admitted that he really did act no different from the criminals he despised. But it also doesn't mean he can't redeem himself and that's what ultimately leads to his new resolve:

That right there along with everything else! There's the nuance! And ultimately despite some hiccups, Strikers handled the grey morality and nuance beautifully! Especially regarding law enforcement! Dare I say, even better than the base game! It continues the critiques with no problem but also showing different sides and areas of it! There is good and evil, but what about in-between? What about the more greyer area? It still says that there IS corruption, sometimes even beyond saving but... Sometimes a small silver lining is hidden somewhere.

Now, the ultimate question:

Is P5 & P5S (namely the latter) Pro-Police or Anti-Police?

Personally, my answer is this: Neither.

Why? What theme do they both have in common?

JUSTICE

Someone puts it best on Twitter that the games are more pro-justice and I fully agree!

P5/P5S gives the idea about following your OWN justice, your OWN moral code and rules, paving your OWN path and not let others dictate it! That's what the MCs ultimately start to learn in both games. Therefore it's pro-justice. Again, do I agree that the system is beyond saving? Yeah. Do I at least acknowledge and understand what the narratives are trying to say and nuances regardless even if I don't agree with some writing decisions (ex: Makoto wanting to become a commissioner despite everything)? Also yes. But at the same time, don't judge a book by its cover for other people (not just law enforcement and politics mind you). Especially some that genuinely DO want to help at best. That there is nuance and greyness, just have to look closely. Some of the MCs are still TERRIBLY written and executed (even annoying) but the message was still somewhat there.

Final Thoughts

Now I fully understand how you all feel of course! I still believe in ACAB and even I agree that maybe I'm one to talk and have a lot more to learn about the world... This is just my own attempt at putting my own two cents in. If you disagree, that's fine! This is just what I've felt should be at least talked about more often. And I tried to phrase it as best as I can without coming off as insensitive or ignorant and if I did, I sincerely apologize for that! I'm not trying to say, come off as a "bootlicker" or any of the sort. I'm just trying show discuss more of the grey areas and nuances that are, more often than not, constantly overlooked. How one interprets both games is ultimately up to them. You, the player. And this is my own interpretation. Simple as that. I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/evening!

[potatopossums]

Since I'm on antidepressants, I'm really diligently taking notes about my moods, thoughts, energy levels, sleep, activities, symptoms, and overall health several times a day. Just to get accurate data on how i feel day to day. Because my brain's recollection ability is bullshit, especially with depression.

Sometimes it's nice to know that during the day, i get to stop and pay attention to myself for once. I get to be honest and write down just how shitty i feel, not having to pretend for anyone. Or, when I'm feeling good despite a bad situation, i can feel proud or accomplished about it and nobody can stop me.

Mostly it's the bit about me feeling crappy and not being able to voice it. I'm so used to just hiding my "negative" emotions and thoughts. And now, more and more I'm finding it to be suffocating if i don't let those feelings out.

Like today, I'm feeling happy that i accomplished what I did. I got to give a friend some cookies i baked, which made me feel happy. It made me feel like i was achieving something i had been wanting to do for so long. It's always fun to get treats in my opinion, and i have way more cookies than I could possibly eat right now, so why wouldn't I give them to other people to enjoy? I love to see that I've impacted someone in a positive way. I love to imagine them enjoying cookies in a similar way i do, appreciating them, enjoying the flavor and texture. It's just fun to me. I like to share those moments with other people, those small joys.

I'm also having mixed feelings about the rest of my day. I was happy to spend time with my other friend, but she also seemed really tired and exhausted, and little things like that worry me. I know she enjoyed her time, but there's always some little voice deep down that says "but what if she was annoyed with you and really wanted to just leave and go to bed the entire time you played games together and just felt too guilty to leave???" It just plagues me even though that's never happened. I just always worry about it in some way. It's a nasty little thought that always comes up somehow, and the fear inevitably grows.

I think i tend to feel insecure a lot around this friend, and I'm not totally sure why. Maybe it's because of the level of vulnerability I'm feeling with her. I know i definitely consider them a safe person in some regard, and i definitely like hearing from them and talking to them. I'd consider them a best friend. I always wish i could spend more time with them. And although we are far away from each other, we still send each other virtual hugs a lot. And that is important to me because i have a complicated relationship with touch. And with her, even though it's still digital hugs, it's still really meaningful that i feel safe around her, not only receiving hugs, but giving hugs. She is one of the only people i do this with, honestly. I've never felt quite comfortable enough to do it with anyone else, even some of my best friends. Im still trying to figure that out, but i know where I am with that at least. This friend is easy to talk to about such boundaries, and they're really respectful and kind and reasonable. It honestly is crazy to me that someone could be so kind and understanding like this. Maybe I'm waiting for something horrible to happen because that's what usually happened in the past.

I just hope that i can find a place where i don't feel so insecure all the time. I know this is an internal issue most of all, my internal voice causing me to doubt my safety and reality. If i could get past that, i think I'd be much happier, and i wouldn't be as worried about falling short or getting rejected or feeling embarrassed. It won't be such a big deal, I'll feel safe enough to fail and pick myself up afterwards. That would be really nice. Unfortunately, right now, everything is a really big deal to me. I'm easily overwhelmed by even the smallest things because I'm scared a small mistake will doom me. I hope one day i can learn to overcome this even better. I'd love to be free from this.

I don't want to only be free from this insecurity for the sake of my friend and their experience in our relationship. I want to conquer this fear and anxiety so i can enjoy my relationships in a genuine and authentic way. I want to feel comfortable and able to talk about my needs and feelings. I want to feel capable of withstanding my emotions, able to feel them, honor them, and let them pass. I want to grow and experience a bit more happiness.

I want to treat myself better. And i suppose that starts with little things like my daily reports. Journaling. This sort of introspection. Rest. Progress, not perfection.

[musashi]

honestly... i feel bad for that anon that was angry about the trailer. like, full disclosure here: back around when swsh was announced and being released, i was one of those people who was really jaded and bitter and angry about things. i reblogged stuff like a slight frame drop in the demo and posts about the reduced dex and posts talking about the dlc and was just... constantly angry and bitter and disappointed.

and, honestly? it was miserable!

i"ve grown up with pokemon, like many of the people who probably follow you, wendy, like you yourself. my first kin experience was seeing the episode of ash in the snowstorm in kanto and feeling this strong sense of i've been there. pokemon is everything to me, it was my first special interest and it's always been there for me even in my lowest points.

so being constantly angry about it was just... bad. it was painful, almost, sitting there and feeling so much vitriol over something that used to bring me so much happiness! it hurt, and i was just... perpetuating this cycle of misery.

then, the games came out. and i remember seeing people liveblogging the game. and... none of the things i was so angry about were ever mentioned! i remember seeing your liveblog especially, wendy, and just... being gripped. my two favorite pokemon, zubat and zorua, weren't in swsh initially. and i was upset about that, i'll admit. i was one of the people saying things like "how could they keep [pokemon] in, and not keep [other pokemon]!"

but when i saw how happy you were that wobbuffet was in the game? when i saw you fall in love with your team, enjoy the experience of playing through a brand new experience in the world you and i both love? i'll admit, i felt kind of jealous. like, how come you could be so happy about this game? how come you could get so much enjoyment, while i was just miserable?

what sealed it was when my partner got the game. they immediately fell in love. i've always been the one more invested in pokemon than them, but i didn't buy the game because of my stupid spite or whatever. but being on call with them as they gasped over every new pokemon, offering them type advice as they got genuinely invested in the battles... it reminded me what i loved about the series. it reminded me why pokemon is such a part of my life, my identity.

and it showed me how goddamn petty i was being.

i've since bought sword, and played through it multiple times. i don't have the dlc yet, but that's just due to a lack of time; i only wanna buy it when i have the time to truly play through it and enjoy it. i've rediscovered the joy in pokemon and, while i do still have some things i wish were different about both swsh and the trailers we saw, any disgruntled feeling i might have is drowned out by the feeling of NEW POKEMON GAME!! the sheer excitement at getting to have another adventure in this world that's more than a home to me.

so i just... feel bad for that anon. i know how miserable it is to be drowned in cynicism and hate, especially regarding something you love so much. and to that anon, i hope you're able to rediscover that joy that the pokemon series no doubt has created in you, and i hope you're able to enjoy these games just as we will.

idk, sorry for rambling, i tend to talk a lot and the mobile app enables me. keep being awesome, wendy, and i can't wait to continue being excited over the skyward sword and diamond pearl remakes alongside you. ~🍄

i feel bad because you typed out this lovely long personal message to me and i don’t have much else to say besides thank you for doing so and i’m happy that you sound a lot happier now sghfslgh!!!!

yeah pokemon’s just one example of it but being hyper critical of anything doesn’t make me happy. even things i really hate, i don’t even really bother thinking about much cause expending that much negative energy when i could just be having fun instead makes me feel like shit. whenever i have a kneejerk reaction to dislike something i try to unpack it and understand why i’m feeling that way and from there i really just like to think of ways to overcome it, view things with more nuance, or just focus on stuff i DO like. i spent too much of my childhood being jaded and bitter and full of hate i just want to stop and smell the flowers now x3

so i v much relate! it’s really funny to me that the anon brought up ORAS because ORAS made a lot of choices (story wise, specifically) that made me furious in ways i’d never been furious before. but at the end of the day it’s hoenn, it’s my home, with my contests, with my pokemon, with the same grand scope of adventure as always. it was the game i had wanted for years and nothing about it that upset me could even hold a candle to all the joy it brought me. it’s so much easier for me to look on the bright side than stew in the negative. i get that people are built different, but i’d just. rather be happy xD

[sunbeams-and-honey]

Astrology for the UK and Christmas 2020

Just to prewarn you, this might not be coherent in places but I need to get this out. I also waffle quite a bit in some places because I have Feelings when it comes to the government.

Okay so those of you who, like me, live in the UK will probably know about the current plans for relaxation of the restrictions for Christmas next week. While there is a lot of speculation as to whether or not this is still going to go ahead considering how many places have just been put into Tier 3 last night, as of 16.12.20, and the press conference that was held by the government an hour ago, the plan is to have 5 days of relaxation of the rules. If you want to know more about that then do your own research on it, I'm here to talk about the transits for the country as a whole during this time. I wanted to do this because I already had a bad feeling about Christmas, and I can't just leave you guys in the dark if I found anything, and I did.

Also, disclaimer: unlike our government, I'm aware and completely respect that Christmas is not the only holiday around now. Hanukkah, for example, is currently being celebrated right now. However, I only refer to Christmas in this post because I used the 25th December for the date of these transits, which is the date most commonly, but not always, used for Christmas Day. Also, the government only seems to acknowledge this particular festival as this is the only one that has received special treatment this year, or any year if we're completely honest. It's because of the government's attitude towards Christmas that I'm making this post, so that is the only celebration I refer to.

So on Christmas Day itself, there is so much emphasis on family, as you would expect for Christmas. This can be seen especially with the fact that we have 3 planets transiting the 4th house of family. First of all we have, Jupiter, which represents abundance and harmony. This is a likely indicator that the current relaxation plans are going to go ahead, and even if they don't, so many people are going to break the rules anyway and see their loved ones over Christmas. People in the UK are going to be spending time with the people they love and it's generally going to be a happy few days.

However it's not all fun and games, because the other two planets crossing the 4th house are Saturn, which represents responsibility and learning lessons, and Pluto, which represents problems and death. When I tell you my stomach literally dropped when I noticed Pluto here. You might be starting to see why I'm worried. These two planets being related to family over Christmas is a huge indicator that something is going to go very wrong. We're going to be learning some tough lessons, perhaps learning that we shouldn't have relaxed the rules. I mean we've literally got the planet of loss and endings crossing family. I'm pretty sure you can put the pieces together. Saturn's placement in this house indicates problems with health which makes me very scared for the near future. There is also the idea that responsibility is going to be taken, so maybe the government is going to start acknowledging where they've gone wrong for once, but that might be a stretch considering the government we have.

There are a couple of other things that I noticed too. The Sun is transiting the 3rd house of communication. This could symbolise a lot of things, but it definitely puts an emphasis on relationships with extended family, which makes sense. It also shows that this time is going to be very busy for us all, which again was to be expected. However, it is also symbolic of us as a nation of becoming distracted and losing sight of what is important. This could mean us getting carried away and forgetting about the consequences of our actions in terms of how quickly the virus will later spread and kill.

The more I look at this chart, the more I see an emphasis on the 3rd house. I was mainly focused on the 4th house as it's all about family and that's where Pluto is going to be, but the 3rd house also has 3 planets transiting it: Sun, Mercury and Venus. There might be some issues with travel or technology across the country but I'm unsure how this is going to manifest itself. This is generally going to be a positive time which is good but there is without a doubt a cloud looming once the effects of this relaxation make themselves apparent.

Mars is transiting the 7th house which is curious because that's all about compromise? Perhaps the current plans will have changed slightly by the time they come into effect.

Uranus in the 8th house is a symbol of financial instability, which is naturally concerning. I wonder how long this will take to materialise. Maybe new data about how badly the economy has been impacted will come out?

Now I didn't know whether or not to put this in, but Neptune in the 6th house does suggest that we will be experiencing the negative effects of medicine. This is really bad timing considering the vaccine has only just come out, but it could be related to something else in medicine. (No, I'm not an anti-vaxxer, I'm not an idiot, but some people are and I don't want any of you taking this the wrong way or using this as a reason to not get the vaccine. Don't be a twat, okay?).

Speaking of anti-vaxxers, I'm really quite worried about the misinformation that could be getting spread around during this time, as Neptune will be squaring Mercury. People will be more prone to believing in lies and conspiracies so if you find yourself doing the same, try to stay logical. This whole thing is going to be fuelled by fear, as you would expect, and also by misunderstandings and confusion.

Sun will be squaring Uranus, which could unfortunately mean that the government is going to act illogically, which never ends well. This transit also foretells of surprises and changes that we didn't see coming.

Moon conjunction Mars shows people taking risks and making stupid decisions, so please make sure you think carefully before you act.

Jupiter opposing Saturn suggests that a decision made by government in the future in regards to the country's way ahead will receive some backlash from the more conservative people in our society? Maybe another tory rebellion like we saw recently. However Saturn trine Uranus shows that we will be more open to change. Perhaps the way we're dealing with certain things will change but not without struggle and opposition. I have a feeling this may have more to do with social justice in this country rather than our dealing with the pandemic, but I could be wrong. 

I've added the chart I used below. Feel free to add on anything else you find.

So to sum up, the Christmas period itself will be rather joyful. We'll be able to have some fun with our loved ones for those of us who are fortunate enough to do so. However, there is a cloud looming ahead, I do believe. I'll do more research on the aftermath of this and I'll make another post about it soon. Please be sensible and please stay safe. Love you all.

[millennialincantations]

Hexing the Moon is Not a Thing

I have been hesitant to weigh in on the on the controversy surrounding the rumors that witches are out there hexing the Fae and the moon, but as this story is making its way into national news media, I feel that silence is no longer appropriate. I am aware that people reading this are likely to disagree with me, or perhaps even become offended by my take on the situation, but I am willing to take that risk in an attempt to be a voice of reason.

The gist of this story is that allegedly groups of neophyte witches are organizing on the social media platform TikTok and attempting to cast harmful spells on the Fae and the moon, the actual moon orbiting the Earth, and allegedly the sun is next. I was very deliberate in calling this a rumor in my opening statement. After a lot of research, I have been unable to find a lot of evidence that this is really going on. I've managed to find two TikTok users claiming to be hexing the moon, both with only around 1000 followers, and both of them have posted videos that are very clearly jokes and/or trolling. And I'll be honest, they were kind of funny.

I'm open to any contradicting evidence anyone is willing to provide me, but at this point I believe that this alleged group of witches hexing the Fae and the moon is nothing more than a rumor, a prank, or an internet troll scheme that has been blown completely out of proportion. I have seen so many angry reactions to the idea that this may be happening and simply not enough proof to believe it is actually happening. Did the rumor originate from an actual event? Probably. Is there a kernel of truth here? Maybe. Is there a widespread conspiracy of witches hexing mythological creatures and celestial bodies? Doubt it.

The story seemed to explode when a Twitter user claimed that these hexes were occurring and their tweet went viral. I've read the entire tweet, and while it was heavily laden with definitions and dire consequences, what it lacked was a shred of evidence, a single source, or any clue as to where someone might look to see proof of these hexes and this community of young maleficars. However in spite of this, it created a wave of anger and panic that has spread across all social media platforms and inspired many witches to create some very emotional responses.

Here is why I have a problem with all of this. Reactionary emotional responses, especially ones of anger, based on baseless rumors, have a tendency to make us all look foolish. And I sincerely feel that the global witch community is being made to look foolish right now. I will now thoroughly explain why.

I am going to begin with the obvious ageist and anti-novice dialogue this has inspired. I have purposefully avoided using the term “baby witch” until now, because I find it pretty offensive. I probably don't need to tell you that every story about this starts with a headline similar to “baby witches hex the moon.” “Baby witches” are the ones to blame, and “baby witches” are being vilified right now. In general, putting the word “baby” in front of another title serves to be diminutive, to express that while you and this person may share an identity, you are clearly superior to them. Using titles this way is infantilizing and demeaning. It suggests that while this person may be an adult, they are helpless, irrational, naive, stupid, and so on. There is nothing wrong with being a younger witch or a person who is new to the spiritual path of witchcraft. There is absolutely something wrong with taking a rumor as an excuse to release prejudicial venom against young and/or inexperienced people all across the internet.

Few of us were lucky enough to be born into witchcraft families. Many of us found witchcraft as a spiritual solace after escaping religious systems that oppressed us. Engaging in any kind of dialogue that makes witchcraft seem hostile to the young or new people who need it is simply not good form, and in my opinion, unethical. And let me remind any witches reading this that you most likely did or thought some pretty stupid things when you were new to witchcraft. I know I did.

Calling the subjects of this rumor “TikTok witches” serves nearly the same purpose as calling them “baby witches.” It's well known that as a newer and more complicated platform, TikTok is most popular with younger and more tech savvy users. Referring to someone as a “TikTok witch” not only makes an assumption about their age and level of experience, but also serves to denigrate their practice into an aesthetic rather than an identity. I am very active in the Facebook witch community, but I would never describe myself as a “Facebook witch,” because the sum of my spiritual path is much more than what I post and comment. My life as a witch is so much more than anything I do on the internet, and the same is true for most people, period.

Now I'd like to move on the statements I keep seeing regarding the supposed victims of the alleged hex. The Fae are not a large part of my practice, so I will not speak on them as much. My sister used to claim as a teenager that faeries would hide her things and that's why she could never find them. I thought this was just a dumb excuse until one day she dropped her camera memory card on the floor right in front of me, and it just disappeared. We tore her room apart looking for that thing, and I found it days later hidden between the pages of my journal. Let's just say, I've been socially distancing from the Fae ever since.

Hexing the entire Fae is kind of a ridiculous notion because that word has so many different connotations and denotations to so many different people that depending on who you ask you couldn't even really nail down a concrete definition of who and what they are, and some witches don't believe they're real at all. And if I were a Fae, I imagine I'd like it that way. It's a more common belief among witches that casting a spell requires knowledge and focus, and that doesn't really compute with attempting to target an ambiguous crowd of whatever the hell they are who might be, well, somewhere. As Willow Rosenberg (Buffy) would have said, “It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.” Anyway, I think the Fae are probably fine.

Now let's talk about the moon. So the moon is real, definitely. I've seen it. And the moon is gonna be fine. I'm less concerned with explaining why the moon will be fine and more concerned with unpacking some of the things I've heard about the moon being in peril. In the case of both the Fae and the moon, I've seen many impassioned pleas for witches to join together and combat this hex by using the magick to bless the Fae and the moon instead. Now, like I've said, I'm not super worried about the Fae, but I'm really really really not worried about the moon. Witches often leave water and objects under moonlight to bless and purify them, but now we're expected to believe that a hex can travel 238,900 miles through that same moonlight and still have the juice to do some damage. Really, its gonna be fine.

What this amounts to is a cry for an online holy war, witches versus witches, duking it out on their altars and cell phones for the fate of the moon. And while that might make for a pretty bitchin D&D campaign, it is an absolutely ludicrous waste of energy given the real world problems we are facing right now. Witches please, if you are feeling compelled to do a spell to help the world right now, hex the secret police in Portland, hex the fascist elements in government, hex the damn coronavirus, bless the protesters, bless election security, BLESS RUTH BADER GINSBURG! But please reconsider spending your effort playing tug of war with a celestial body that is most definitely totally going to be fine.

The three most concerning claims I have seen about how this hex against the moon will affect us are as follows:

1.) “The moon rules emotions, so hexing the moon will have a negative effect on all our emotions.” Yeah, um, that's probably got more to do with the horror survival game that is 2020, which I think we can all agree has not been anyone's year. Placing the state of our emotions under the control of strangers on the internet is a classic case of blame avoidance, in which we feel justified in our reckless actions and emotional outbursts by claiming it is not our fault or out of our control. Contrarily, a common tenet of much of witchcraft is control of the self. Such behavior is very unbecoming of anyone bearing the mantle of the witch.

2.) “Hexing the moon has angered the moon goddess Artemis, and this has angered her brother Apollo—who rules over medicine—and now we will never recover from the coronavirus.” Wow, that's a lot to unpack. First of all, are Artemis and Apollo really that close? Because he totally tricked her into killing her BF Orion that one time. Second, not everyone believes in the same deities, and not everyone believes in gods at all. Telling someone we're all gonna die of COVID-19 because of a god they don't believe in does not make anyone look smart. Third, this argument places the outcome of the pandemic in the hands of religion instead of where it belongs, which is in the hands of science. Witches, please, you can believe in science and faith and magick all at the same time, and it's something we all really need to start doing. Fourth, and most definitely worst, blaming sickness and plague on the spells of witches is something witch hunters did back when it was commonplace to murder people for witchcraft, and now we are actually seeing this claim come from other witches! Gah! I can't even. Please stop.

3.) “This or that moon goddess is mad and is going to retaliate by taking magick away from all witches.” I really just want to drop that GIF of Krysten Ritter rolling her eyes right here. Let's revisit the part where not all witches believe in the same deities and some don't believe in them at all. Now let's remind ourselves that magick comes from within, and while we may draw strength from outside sources, we don't need anything other than ourselves to perform witchcraft. I could never possibly believe that an action taken by another person I've never met could make me less of a witch. That smacks of fundamental insecurity in one's beliefs.

At this point, this story has been picked up by several major media companies, including Buzzfeed, NPR, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, and several others. While I do think it's important for stories about real life witches to be covered in the media, I am not proud of this moment of exposure. Every story I read seems to go back to the original Twitter thread as their primary source, which as I've explained, is not sufficient evidence. This story has become more about the global visceral reactions witches are having online, and while those feelings and interactions are certainly real, it disturbs me that the witch community is making huge news by essentially throwing tantrums based on what is probably a lie.

Witches are not featured in major media very often, and when we are it is typically characterized by gross misinformation. I fear that we are currently fueling a fire that will only serve to make witches look ridiculous to a large number of people outside our community. And while I think we all have a healthy touch of “I don't care what you think about me,” it would be irresponsible to say that this will not have actual consequences for real people. As witchcraft is a practice and not necessarily a religion, it has little in the way anti-discrimination protections for anyone anywhere, and witches are still very much minorities. People who are brave enough to live openly as witches may face discrimination in employment, housing, service, and various other things if this story sways public opinion in a negative way, which would be a real shame considering the story is basically a sham.

This story has unique potential to damage the way witches are perceived in society because, while the story is fueled by backlash from witches are most certainly not hexing the moon, the witches doing the hexing are the headline. In this era, it is more common for people to assume a story from a headline rather than read an entire article, and so I fear the general impression people are getting is that witches are unfathomable children who really want the moon to fall out of the sky. And for those who actually read the articles, their first impression of witches very well may be the frustrated rantings of those of us who are not at our best right now.

In addition, this story subverts the historical meaning of the practice of hexing into a petty malicious act done out of boredom. The actual history of hexing stems from one common theme: the powerless trying to find a way to fight back against the powerful. This is why so many hexes have to do with women seeking revenge on abusive men. This is why witches have recently been discussed in the media for doing mass binding spells on President Trump and a mass hex on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh—which, controversial as they may be, these are stories I am actually proud of. So witches reading this, if you really wanna put a hex on something, let's target someone who really deserves it.

And if you think I'm referring to Betsy DeVos, well, I can't stop you from coming to that conclusion.

I do have one final remark, which is somewhat unrelated, but still important. If you are a witch who has found yourself deeply offended by the notion of hexing the moon (which you have every right to feel), I would invite you to please consider the feelings of indigenous people who have long been offended by the misappropriations of their culture, by their sacred acts being used and portrayed in ways they do not like or approve of. I think many of them have often felt the same way that you do now, except in their case, there's a lot more evidence the transgression actually occurred.

[devilinsheepswool]

Obey Me! MC Character Sheet

Thanks to @kyungi-i for the spred sheet! I've seen others do it and thought why not me?

Name: Alisa Moreno

Nickname: Ally, Lisa, Li-Li, Al, Isa, Moreno

Age: 18

Height: 5'3

Weight: 170

Race: Human

Gender: ♀️

Birthday: April 13

Star Sign: Aries

Hair Color: Brown (pink streaks)

Eye Color: Brown

Skin: Brown/freckled

Demon brother, she is most to least like:

1. Levi

2. Belphie

3. Satan

4. Lucifer

5. Beel

6. Mammon

7. Asmo

Personality: she's pretty cynical and pessimistic, she also seems very aloof but somehow has a way of knowing a little bit of everything that's going on. When she wants to be she can be very observative and dedicated to her work, otherwise, she can come off as lazy, or disinterested just as much as aloof. Her snide personality comes off subtle mostly due to her wallflower and nerdish appearance. And she does have trouble getting to know other people due to her self-consciousness, low self-esteem and social anxiety; all of which she masks under witty remarks, jokes, and sarcasm. She puts up walls and its difficult to get to know her past surface level, despite it all Lisa does have a soft side and softens up around people that have a natural kindness and positivity about them or are straightforward. She has a good sixth sense, which helps her be an extremely good judge of character more often than not she is correct about her intuition regarding others' intentions towards her. Lastly, she has a bad habit of acting out and deliberately going against authority, she doesn't like feeling controlled and being told what to do. She'll usually follow the rules because she can't be bothered with the effort to break them but if she feels like someone's trying to control her or that she's being patronized then she will deliberately go out of her way to break the rules.

Background: Before coming down to Devildom, Lisa, despite only being 18 had already finished all her schooling, including higher education. Back on earth, she was recognized as a child prodigy in her research on historical documents and records, despite her early achievements at such an early age, the pressure of being placed on such a high pedestal career-wise eventually got to her and she fizzled out. Growing up an orphan without a past or family, the academy she worked for and her work was all she had, after she cracked due to the pressure she ran away hoping to live out the youth she felt she had never experienced in childhood. At age 16 she was a runaway and going under a different name. She lived on the streets and squatted in abandoned buildings for a few months before she met some people that offered to help her. During this time she developed an interest in music seeing as the people who helped her were a musical band full of teens just like her.

In order to stay with them, she lied to them about the truth of who she was and why she ran away. She stayed with one of the band members she had become close to during her initial days of having met them. While she stayed with them she learned how to play several instruments and eventually sing as well. She went on to perform with them but after two years of playing with them musical difference surged and a fight broke out, after which Alisa decided to run away again. It was during her second night of squatting in an abandoned house that she woke up in Devildom.

Hobbies: Music; Singing, Electric Guitar, Violin.

Likes: Sweets, Reading, Music, Animals, Writing, Video Games and drawing.

Dislikes: Liars, being lied to, math, meddling (Ironically), cruelty, injustice/unfairness and short tempers. Words that sound one way but are spelled another, or that sound like they mean one thing and then mean something else.

Appearance:

She's fairly average height. She's on the plump side, with a rounded face that makes her look baby-faced. She has freckles but due to her brown skin they're difficult to notice. Her eyes are rounded and large despite the dark circles brought on by years of bad sleeping. Her hair is short in a bob cut and wavy/curly, usually, she has a singular braid running down her left side. She wears glasses to see and prefers to wear loose-fitting clothing except for at performances. She tends to dress on the nerdy side.

Casual Clothing -

• Top: Sky Blue sweater rather loose fitting sweater over a white button up blouse.

• Bottom: plaid moss green skirt. Over the knee length, style is somewhat pencil skirt. Black tights under skirt.

• Shoes: Brown Boots.

• Accessories: star-shaped hair clip, silver necklace with a star pendant, a bunch of woven, or leather, or beaded bracelets. 

• Glasses: Yes. Black plain.

Uniform:

Alterations?

Not many, she wears the uniform properly a skirt version with the same black tights underneath the skirt. And a light blue tie on her uniforms blouse.

• Mother: N/A

• Father: N/A

• Siblings: N/A

• Pets: A black cat she adopted during the first time she ran away, she found her in one of the abandoned buildings fed her and the cat kept following her after that. Her name is Pandora.

• Friends: Prior to joining the band Alisa had none, after joining the band she made 2, Lydia and Florence. The lead singer and drummer of the band, respectively. She stayed with Florence and her grandmother during her time in the band.

• Past Relationships:

She had a mentor/advisor who eventually became a colleague when she finally started working with the academy. She was very close to her and was her only actual relationship. Her relationship with Dr. Aver was the closest she's ever had to a familial relationship. In the early stages of their relationship Aver became endeared with a rather small and young Alisa and tried to offer her the closest thing to a family she could through her and her husband. While they had a solid well-going relationship, they hit an obstacle when Aver was offered a position teaching at a highly prestigious institution abroad. Aver tried to keep connected long distance but it all came to an end when Alisa ran away.

Alisa dated three times during her time in the band the first relationship was bad from the start and ended badly, the second and third one ended with Alisa self-sabotaging herself due to the first bad experience. All occurred relatively back to back during the first year and half of her being in the band.

The first one though was the longest one, which lasted for 9 months. The last two were relatively short-lasting about a month to two each.

Sexuality: Unsure, possibly Pan.

Have they been in love before?

Because of her first toxic relationship and overall young age, at the time Alisa is hesitant to say that she ever was truly in love in any of her past relationships. But she was the most heartbroken with the ending of her 3rd relationship. Prior to her third relationship, the other two were mainly out of curiosity for exploring with dating than actual love.

How easily do they gain crushes?

Not easy, she wasn't aware of her feelings towards her third (future) partner until she was in her second relationship, her feelings for her 3rd future partner had started amidst her 1st relationship when it started going downhill.

Do they believe in love?

She doesn't really have an opinion on it, she's rather cynical and with her negative past experiences you would think she doesn't believe in it anymore if she ever had, but honestly, it's not something she's thought about that much. She's just experiencing life as she goes, maybe someday...

What's their type:

Alisa is the type of person to look for what she's missing in her life in someone else; she's typically drawn to kind, warm-hearted people, more likely than not optimists with positive personalities. You get the sense that she's into the "angelic" type (thus her third ex/first love) with a strong moral compass always set on doing right. Of course, this being her type doesn’t mean it’s what suits her the best. Mixed with her low self-esteem, a relationship with her ideal type may turn out to be hazardous as she might end up over-idealizing the person or self-sabotaging once again due to low self-worth as well.  

Which of the 7 brothers is her favorite?

That's a tough one she likes both Mammon and Levi but couldn't pick a favorite between both. Although Beel is also a strong contender for her favorite.

Why?

Mammon, despite not being honest about what he truly thinks about her is easy to read and has always been there for her when she's truly needed him, he's stepped in to save her multiple times and she knows he clearly worries about her. She's grateful to him despite his antics, and is able to look past the big cool guy/bad boy facade he puts on and appreciate him for being there when she really needs him.

Levi, she actually sees a lot of herself in him. Especially, a lot of her from prior to her first run away. She relates to his hermit-like personality because prior to running away she was like that as well. She can also sympathize and empathize with his obvious insecurities and wants to more than anything be there to reassure him and help become more secure of himself. Despite not being a total weeb like Levi, during her time in the band she did develop some interest in anime and manga, just not as passionate as Levi's.

What do they look for in a partner?

Ideally, she likes kind-hearted, empathetic people but speaking practically she'd prefer an honest straightforward person easy to read that doesn't try to play mind games or control her. Someone patient and that can reassure her when she doubts herself, and most importantly someone that will call her out when she needs to be. She doesn't want someone that will coddle, pamper, or try to spoil her like a little doll and let her get away with things that are prick-ish. She's good at keeping herself in check but she'd like the reassurance that someone will call her out if she slips up without noticing.

General -

Fav. Food: Tamales, but she also loves Cheeseburgers and Milkshakes.

Least Favorite: Meatloaf, Eggnog, Rasin Muffins, Salmon.

Favorite color: blue & green

Least Favorite: White or Neons

Sociable or Recluse? Both, she can be something of an ambivert but prefers to be more reserved due to her majority introvertness.

Favorite Movie Genre: Droll Comedy, or Action Political Thrillers/govt. conspiracy, K-drama's

Reader or not? Very much a reader, liked it and eventually it was what her job required of her in order to conduct her research.

Favorite Animals: She likes cats and dogs, but she also has an ample love for animals of all kinds but especially the ones that can be found in the woods; Owls, Raccoons, Wolves, Crows. Her favorite however has to be the Fox.

Favorite Music Genre: Rock, though she's big on ceremonials and sea shanties as well, and loves testing her vocal range with gregorian chants and Hymns.

Least Favorite: Country

Do they like sweets?

BIG YES.

Do they like spicy food?

👌👌👌👌

Do they like school?

Not so much like but she was good at it, and a majority of her life was dedicated and depended on it, overall she doesn't have bad memories about school perse, so I guess you could say that she does.

Pet Peeves:

Loud food chewing, bad breath, meddling in her business, being patronized, people pointing out her baby face, people trying to manipulate, use or lie to her.

[mittensmorgul]

I love your meta so much. Especially right now. I've been seeing so much negativity on my dash recently complaining about Gabriel, the AU, Charlie, Buckleming, Cas' absence, etc, etc. Idk why, but it seems like every spn blog I follow rn is simultaneously freaking out about something, and it's really putting a damper on my enjoyment in the fandom. So just thanks for your meta, and so clearly explaining why everything makes sense. I wish all these ppl I follow would just come read your stuff 😟

Aww, I’m glad you’re enjoying my lil oasis of relative chill, and yeah I’ve been saddened and frustrated by some of the negativity too, but I’ll tell you what...

I do 100% understand where folks’ negative feelings are coming from, and I don’t expect everyone to watch the show the way I do. Everyone’s got stuff that bugs them, everyone’s got their own personal headcanons that they have accepted and held on to-- sometimes for years as regards characters that have been absent from the narrative as long as Gabriel has, for example-- and any suggestion that those headcanons and personally accepted theories can feel like a direct challenge.

A lot of what we do in fandom is purely emotional, you know? We love the characters, we see parts of ourselves in them, and when the show challenges our understanding of them, it can feel like a personal attack. I completely get why people might be upset about Gabriel returning.

Aside from his appearance in 9.18, where he wasn’t even real but Metatron’s literal narrative device inside the false reality experience he put Castiel through, we haven’t been given any reason to believe that Gabriel’s apparent sacrifice in 5.19 wasn’t exactly what it seemed.

The thing is, Fanon Gabriel has evolved into something very different from what Canon Gabriel ever was. He’s one of those characters where a LOT of people doubted his death had been real back in s5 just because his standard operating procedure had been deception and evasion.

There’s a post that I saw years ago regarding angel deaths that said, “Wings or it didn’t happen.” Because we know that when angels die, we see their wing prints burned into the ground/wall/whatever. But then Gabriel’s “death” scene was added with some commentary along the lines of, “Oops.” Because we saw his wing prints, and people STILL refused to believe they were real, and that it wasn’t just another trick of the trickster, and that he’d be back to fight another day.

Thing is, over the years that Gabriel DIDN’T return, people began to assume it was because he really was dead, because why WOULDN’T he have come back to deal with any of the other nonsense-- beginning with Raphael’s attempt to restart the apocalypse even after Gabriel’s presumed self-sacrifice in an attempt to stop it? People accepted that Gabriel had been convinced to nobly sacrifice himself trying to stop Lucifer, and that he’d truly “redeemed” himself in doing so. That his supposedly selfless act had tied up his character arc with a tidy bow.

But... that’s not what happened, and at first I was ???? about why they would want to open this long-closed set of wounds, but then I actually used my brain to contemplate WHY they would choose to bring him back now, and WHY they would supposedly “retcon” what on the surface had appeared to be a “good death” for Gabriel.

And I realized they haven’t retconned anything, and those old wounds had been festering for the last eight years, because nothing about Gabriel even remotely suggested he’d redeemed himself. And not just for Gabriel’s own personal redemption arc, but because how UGLY the fact that Gabriel having been allowed a “noble death” somehow excused all the bullshit he’d lumped on Sam since 3.11. Mr. “Shut Up And Play Your Roles” was only playing his own role all along... he was the messenger, he delivered the message, and then got the heck outta Dodge. I mean... this is the most in-character thing Gabriel said:

SAM: No, Gabriel, don't -- you -- you can't just walk away. If Michael comes here, he will end this world.GABRIEL: And the last time the world was ending, I put my money on you. I think you can pull it off again.

He’s still delivering messages and flapping off again. Like he said way back in 5.08, he doesn’t care who wins or loses, he just wants all the fighting to be over. He doesn’t care how it happens or even if it takes all of creation with it.

So what’s the one thing he’s said that contradicts this read of Gabriel? What he said to Lucifer in 5.19 about humanity:

LUCIFER: So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches. Why?GABRIEL: Because Dad was right. They are better than us.LUCIFER: They are broken. Flawed! Abortions.GABRIEL: Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs. 

But then we learn what actually happened... because why would Gabriel suddenly have gone from teaching lessons to humans who didn’t live up to his personal code to willingly DYING, and dying POINTLESSLY on their behalf?

CASTIEL [reading the Enochian]: “Per usual, my brother had double my brawn and half my brains. He assumed the counterfeit me was what vanished that night, and he thought that he'd stabbed the real thing. The truth is, the thing Luci skewered was a fake. [flashback showing the real Gabriel watching Lucifer kill an illusion.] There are plenty of fakes to go around. Everyone believed Gabriel was gone. And suddenly, I was free. No obligation to God or Heaven, or mankind. And so, I did what anyone would do -- I moved to Monte Carlo and shacked up with porn stars.”

THAT is actually in line with everything we’d learned about Gabriel up to that point. If, you know, you don’t apply any of the fanon!Gabriel stuff that’s been draped around the actual canon!Gabriel’s character.

For one, I am THRILLED that he’s back, because if ANYONE deserves to give Gabriel a piece of his mind, it’s Sam Fucking Winchester. 

And I’m willing to wait for Gabriel’s return in 13.20 to get the full story, because I’ve NEVER actually been satisfied that Gabriel’s redemption-by-death in 5.19 wasn’t just the final cruel trick he played on Sam. And his parting words to Sam in 13.18 kinda proved that point to me.

Now as to the AU, I have no idea how AN ALTERNATE, ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE is supposed to be anything other than a point/counterpoint comparative tool to the original narrative. I have no idea how it’s even possible for A DIFFERENT WHOLE UNIVERSE is supposed to change any of the facts we know about the regular SPN universe, so people getting pissy about “retcons” in the AU are just spinning their emotional wheels in the mud here. If it makes them happy to be mad about stuff, I guess go off or whatever, but it’s like comparing Portland Maine to Portland Oregon and being mad they’re not the same place.

Now as to AU Charlie, I wrote a post the other day that pretty much covers my feelings on the fandom reaction to her:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/172915586795/how-do-you-feel-about-the-au-characters-that-are

But Gabriel? Yeah, I’d been meaning to post something about why I felt like it was the perfect time for him to return to the narrative, because he never really did earn any sort of a REAL redemption, and I love the fact that the show is truly acknowledging that.

He was the original “Play The Roles Destiny Has Written For You” character that TFW (and ESPECIALLY SAM) has desperately needed some resolution with for YEARS. He’s absolutely central to the “As Above, So Below” apocalypse era stuff that was only even remotely resolved by 11.23. And since he’s part of the unresolved threads that spun out of the post 5.22 fallout when the original ending was torn up, and Sam didn’t end up spending the rest of eternity in the cage with Michael and Lucifer, because locking up problems to make them go away isn’t actually a real solution to the problem here, and we’ve been going back and looking for the roots of all the actual problems and digging them out and actually dealing with them properly... well, if you like Sam at all, and hate the idea that he’d ever have to sacrifice himself and his autonomy and his own humanity in order to save a world that he wasn’t responsible for breaking... I mean, Gabriel didn’t break it either, but Chuck’s already dealt with his “original sin” of locking up Amara. Now it’s the archangels’ turn to deal with the problems of their own making...

And even if he was only ever a side player in that original apocalypse nonsense, Gabriel still played his own role, delivering the message. Now he gets to write his own script. Let’s see if his message is different this time around. If he’s got some better words.

[lovehotelreservation]

hey chell do you ever get scared of writing? like! i've been reading your work since luna and i'm amazed at your growth! but how do you push through those times when you feel like everything you write isn't good enough, if you've ever had that feeling before?

HELLO DARLING!!! ; u ; AHH GOODNESS ALL THIS SUPPORT SINCE THE DAYS OF LUNA? I FEEL SO BLESSED! THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR! I LOVE YOU LOTS!!!

AND YOU BET I GET SCARED!!!

Funnily enough, it’s when I’m super productive that I get scared, most notably when I had to prepare fics for Faffery! Having to churn out so many one-shots within a short amount of time had me feel the limitations of my writing so much, especially when I caught myself using the same set of words or phrases. Though, at the very least, due to the commitment of a fic spam, I’d make myself keep going else I’d just be lamenting and not getting anything done.

And surely, there are plenty of fics that I feel like they could’ve been done better, or that they just didn’t quite capture the vision I originally had in mind. Usually when I hit a wall like this, I just step away from writing for a bit--maybe play a video game to take my mind off things, or even find a new source of inspiration.

It’s during these moments of doubt and being excessively critical of my writing that I’m thankful to have someone like @megalochondriac--who has been reading over my works since my Luna days--to set me aside and help me see and realize the positives/strengths to my writing rather than the negatives. Really, having someone who you can confide in (especially another writer!) helps so much when you’re struggling creatively!

Though, regarding other methods for when you’re feeling down about your writing, just write what feels right! I get so caught up in my own expectations of how my writing should be, or even what I feel readers would want from my works that I start pressuring and scrutinizing myself for failing to adhere to this. In turn, this easily has me feeling a lot more scared/self-conscious about my writing. While easier said than done, try to write and convey your story how you--the writer!!!--want to do it. While you may feel that you’re not capturing your vision as perfectly as you wished, just know that you’re writing honestly and ~right from the heart~!

^^; I apologize for the sudden ramble, but thank you for the chance to answer a question like this, dear! It was nice to kinda sit back and actually think over this aspect of writing and convey my thoughts on the overall process!