#i've got a few so i thought i will answer one character per ask

[katyspersonal]

*boots down door*

You mention Bloodborr OC's

GIMME ALL THE BACKGROUND!!!!

Allllllright, I think I will tell you about my favorite!

Strangely enough, I did only draw her ONE whole time so far, back in, what?.. June 2022? And it is only a headshot! But I always imagine her wearing cyan/indigo/grey clothes, fashioned after Old Hunters' aesthetic, and... a particular iron helmet with only one eye hole, yes. She is an OC based entirely on how you choose to read this line:

She appeared in my head based off a few factors; that we can clearly see Valtr being summoned with both eyes visible (not a single effort to obscure the second eye, unlike with Djura), we know that Impurity rune that LETS you see Vermin was discovered 'within a forbidden Beast Eater' (so, Valtr himself), we know that Valtr curses not only beasts but the 'freakish slugs and mad doctors', and we know that Clocktower Dial has a rune similar to Impurity but not exactly it:

(Thank you @val-of-the-north for handy refs ( x ))

That gave me a thought, aboutl Valtr being taken right into Research Hall labs upon his (rather dramatic) arrival in Yharnam; as someone who ate a beast, he was expected to be very much contaminated, and, well... Research Hall offered the so-called voluntary-obligatory treatment for such people. Either get killed before you became a beast, or be "treated" to not become a beast :') And this is where he met an Old Hunter Geranea, that was likewise dragged into research - and already missing one eye, since all patients get one eye removed to become an Eye Pendant + for easier access to their brain.

I always presumed runes system was a deciphering system more than it was a set number of the runes, since Ludwig and Adeline were able to envision their own runes without Caryll! So, Impurity rune is special - it is a concept. Every person has their own alternative of Impurity rune, as it appeals to the individual concept of what IS evil. Geranea quickly caught up that there was something abnormally filthy in Valtr and insisted that he should not have gotten 'water' treatment under any circumstances lest he'd erupt under it flourishing and die right after. People that yearn to exterminate evil see 'human dregs' as pests, but people who yearn to treat it peacefully see evil as flowers. Geranea was able to see the flowers akin tomb mold that you find across dungeons and Hunter's Nightmare sprouting from people before they died, as indication of how 'dirty' their blood was, and... let's say, Valtr had an extraordinary amount of them because of what happened to him.

She helped him to envision his own idea of evil as someone familiar with Caryll's runes language, deciphering the weird sounds his body was emitting, and helped him to escape by giving him her eye pendant to use as a bait on the string for a giant crow that was frequenting Research Hall's balcony - think of holding a carrot on the string before a donkey! As for her own fate? Well, she was able to see through utter corruption of both 'Sea' and 'Stars', rejecting both and becoming one of the few if not the only one patient that banished the Arcane from her body with raw hatred and willpower alone.

She would manage to escape the Research Hall and cover her identity in new costume and with the new weapon, to not get caught by the Assassins. And... of course, she'd get the bucket helm, to obscure her face! She was to contact Valtr later under new identity, but their friendship was just not meant to last; they had drastically different ideas on how to treat human dregs and fell apart in a very nasty conflict over it, parting their ways.

Ever since then, Geranea was a strange cross between a Hunter and a Blood Minister (don't confuse with Blood Saint!). She would find people afflicted with human dregs through seeing whether they displayed 'flowers' sprouting from them. Her having banished the Arcane influence from her very body and soul via spite alone granted her blood a special immunity against both Beast and Kin afflictions, so her treatment? It included taking the blood from a person, transfusing it into her own body, putting up the mental fight against this person's darkest impulses (or corruption of Great Ones), and, after immunity has been worked up, she'd give the 'healed' blood back to this person. Just... Giving them free antibodies against their OWN afflictions that she'd work on her own. Doesn't it sound like too good to be true?

Well, that it was. Not only effect of such immunity still COULD virtually wear down, but also poor Geranea would let evil, insanity and pain of people through herself over and over. And over and over and over and over and over... In the end, it cracked her up, and she grew to be corrupted and no longer able to process all this - becoming evil and twisted herself. Her last sane thought however? That was Valtr.

She crawled back to him, being terribly mutated and having twisted thoughts, reflecting empathy to all afflicted people she healed from their darkest impulses. Their last meeting in long time was essentially her telling him that he was right and begging to be killed, that he did. He knew what exactly ruined her, and his conclusion was: "The filth of this world doesn't deserve compassion of a kind soul".

He took her helmet though, as a further reminder to himself to always stay relentless before human dregs extermination, and never had a heart to alter it even one bit, despite having both eyes. However, he later met Yamamura, who reminded him of her with his tender, sensitive heart, and he was not to make the same mistake twice; so he was to send Yamamura away as a "spy" for Healing Church in hopes he'd find new friends there and forget the mission. Granted, Yamamura appeared to be a very stubborn and prideful man, so the mission still inflicted insanity on him - especially since he saw it through Valtr's rune, not his own.

So yeah, that's for the story..; In general, Geranea was a kind person willing to tolerate a bit too much and to sacrifice too much, that is a stark contrast to her resting bitch face and kind of a rude demeanour. I can't even call her a jerk with a heart of gold, she is just a good person that might appear slightly too forceful with wishing to help.

And! Flowers thing comes from my idea that many patients had lumenweed subtly growing on them during treatment! Here are Adeline's and Rom's for example:

Geranea's faded and died upon her rejecting the 'cosmos' with both her body and her soul, but she never got around removing them as they became too entwined with her hair. But I like to think that when she finally broke mentally, those flowers in her hair were glowing and flourishing again, as if to seek for salvation.

...Aaaaaanyway, I can't believe I never really drew her that much ;-; That face ref is like... this is IT. Boy, I gotta fix myself.

[bingwriterxo]

first time

pairing: vada cavell x reader

summary: in which you and vada have your first time together

warnings: smut (character is 18+), 18+ (minors DNI), fingering

word count: 2200+

author's note: here she is: awkward, rambling vada. also (slight spoilers but...) [insert booksmart scene here]

"Mom?" you called out mid-yawn as you made your way downstairs, rubbing your eyes to try to wake yourself up more after the late-afternoon nap you had taken. When you were met with silence, you tried the other parent. "Dad?" Again, no response.

You shrugged as you walked into the kitchen, and your eyes narrowed as you caught sight of a piece of paper laying on the counter. You picked it up and read it over quickly, excitement surging through your veins.

Work trip this weekend. See you Sunday night. 

- Mom & Dad

vada can come over :)

The last part was scribbled on like an after-thought, and you knew your dad had written it. 

You dropped the paper onto the counter and pulled your phone from the pocket of your hoodie, immediately dialing your girlfriend's number. Leaning back against the counter, you waited for her to pick up. 

"Hey." Her voice was groggy, like she had also just woken up.

"Were you sleeping?" you asked. 

She hummed. "Yeah. Figured you were asleep when you didn't answer my texts so I thought I'd nap, too." You heard some shuffling on the other end and then Vada yawned. "What's up?"

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to stop yourself from grinning. "My mom and dad are gone for the weekend. They said you could come over. I've got the house to myself, so..."

"Movie marathon!" she shouted excitedly. You listened as she scrambled out of her bed, hopping around her bedroom in search for things to pack in her duffle bag. "I'll leave in, like, ten. Put something good on the TV!" You could hear her smiling through the phone.

"Okay, see you soon. Love you." 

She squealed. "Love you!"

* * *

The movie playing on the television was boring you half out of your mind. You had chosen a random one that you knew Vada had been wanting to watch with you, and you had tried to focus on it for the first half-hour, but something kept distracting you. Well, something aside from your girlfriend's nonstop rambling. 

"I used to have the biggest crush on Blake Lively as a kid, you know," Vada said, her eyes trained on the screen. Her hand was digging in the bowl of popcorn that was resting between the two of you, and you giggled as she shoved some of the snack into her mouth. "But, man, is Anna Kendrick hot," she mumbled around the food. "I mean, obviously I know she's hot, 'cause, like, I'm not blind, but something about her in this movie just hits different."

You weren't ignoring her, per se, but you definitely weren't fully listening, instead choosing to stare at your girlfriend's side profile as she munched on the popcorn and talked with her mouth full--a habit of hers that you had hated at first but now couldn't help find somewhat endearing (as long as you weren't looking at her face-on). 

"And, well, Blake Lively is Blake Lively, and who doesn't have a crush on her?" Vada continued. If you had been paying attention to the movie on the screen, you were almost sure you wouldn't have been able to hear any of it over the girl's talking, anyway, so it was better that you weren't watching, right?

When she realized she hadn't heard from you in a few minutes, she glanced your way, and you smiled softly. She offered you a confused grin. "Are you not watching?"

You hummed and turned back to the television. "No, no. I am," you lied. You could feel her eyes on you, and you knew that if you looked at her, she'd be giving you that damn lovestruck look she always had on her face when she was around you, the one that made you weak in the knees and had your heart beating rapidly.

"Y/N," she said, calling your attention back to her. You had been correct--she was staring at you with a half-smile, like she didn't even realize her lips were upturned, and soft eyes, 

"Yes?"

Her eyes flitted down to your lips quickly, then back to your eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

You giggled. "You don't have to ask, Vads. We're dating."

She shrugged, hiding in her shoulders for a moment. "I know," she said, voice shy and slightly embarrassed. "But I just wanna make sure every time. Because, like, what if one day I don't ask, and you don't want a kiss, and then--"

You pressed your lips to hers, effectively silencing her, and sighed when she kissed back eagerly. You reached down, pushed the empty popcorn bowl to the floor, and then easily maneuvered onto Vada's lap. She grinned against you, hands flying to your waist. 

"I always like when you're on top when we make out," she began, "because I like the weight." She paused, eyes wide. "I'm not, like, saying you're heavy or anything, not that that would be a problem if you were, obviously, but it's like a weighted blanket! You know, like how they can help anxiety and--"

"Vada," you said softly, eyes flickering between her own. 

She gulped, and her fingers twitched against your sweatshirt. "Yeah?"

"Could you just kiss me?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah. That I can definitely do." 

Vada stretched her neck up, and you leaned down. You met in the middle, lips moving feverishly against each other. Your arms were wrapped around her shoulders, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of her neck, while her hands slipped beneath the hem of your sweatshirt, her skin warm on yours. 

Her tongue swiped over your bottom lip at the same time as her fingers rose upward, the tips of her thumbs beneath your breasts. She pulled away quickly. "Are you not..." She moved her hands up a little more, feeling nothing except skin. "You're not wearing a bra."

You shook your head. "Nope." You grinned. "Is that a problem?"

"Definitely not," she breathed out, pulling you back into a bruising kiss. You groaned at the feeling, and she took it as an invitation, her tongue smoothing over your own. Vada's touch rose higher until she was palming your breasts softly, and you hummed against her.

After a moment, you nipped at her bottom lip and pulled away, your breathing heavy as you stared at her. Her pupils were blown, her lips were swollen, and you gulped before reaching down and pulling your sweatshirt off. Her eyes widened at the sight.

"Woah," she said as though she had never seen you topless before. You rolled your eyes with a smile because she had the same reaction every time the two of you did this, and then you leaned back in.

She seemed to still against you, and you reached down, urging her hands to keep moving. She took the hint, her thumbs beginning to circle your nipples, and you whined, your hips bucking up before you could stop them. 

Vada pulled away and dropped her head to your chest, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your sternum until she reached your breasts. She took one of your nipples into her mouth, and you threw your head back, a soft moan slipping from your lips. Her tongue ran along the bud while her lips sucked on it.

"Fuck, baby," you groaned, arching your back to push yourself into her touch more. 

Her hands dropped to your waist, though her mouth didn't stop, and she played with the hem of your shorts. "Do you wanna...?" she asked when she pulled back, staring up at you, her fingers dipping. 

"Yes," you said quickly, nodding to emphasize your agreement. "Yes, please."

Vada grinned, circled her arms around your waist, and then carefully laid you down on the couch, resting between your legs. Her mouth was quickly on your chest again as one of her hands slipped beneath your shorts, her finger running over your clothed slit. You squeaked in delight, hips canting up. 

"I can feel you through your underwear," Vada said. "You're really wet."

You nodded shyly, glancing away. "Yeah, well..."

She frowned and reached up, her free hand resting on your cheek and making you look at her again. "It's not bad. It's good. Really good, actually." She grinned, and you couldn't help your own smile. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing, really. Well, I kind of do, since, you know, I also have a vagina, but, like, I've obviously never had sex with anyone else, so I don't know if I'll do it right, and I want your first time to be good."

"Vads, baby," you cooed. "It'll be great if it's with you."

"Okay, okay," she said. She leaned up and kissed you again, her hand slipping beneath your panties. You both groaned, you at the feeling and her at the feeling of you. She rubbed your clit experimentally and you moaned.

"Shit," you cursed. "Yeah, that's--that's good."

Vada started circling it softly, and you couldn't help your whimpering. She was careful, a little too careful, but you weren't going to rush her, especially since it felt amazing.

"You can..." You gasped as she sped up a little. "Yeah, I was gonna say--"

"That's good, then?" she asked. Her eyes were on you, watching all of your reactions, trying to make sure she was doing the right thing.

"Very," was your short response. 

"Can I...well, should I...go in?"

"Yeah," you murmured. "Yeah, okay."

Her hand pushed down just a little bit farther, and then--

Oh.

You gasped at the feeling. Vada glanced up. "Is that...okay? Or was it better earlier? Or--"

You gulped and looked down at her, offering her a half-hearted smile. "Babe...I--I don't think that's the hole you were going for..." you whispered, trying not to embarrass her. Her eyes widened, and a blush immediately painted over her face. She pulled out and then pulled away, even though you reached out for her, trying to bring her back in. 

"Oh my god, oh my god. I am so sorry," she rushed out. "I just...I didn't even realize that I had gone down that far, and I just went for it, and--oh my god, I am so sorry, baby."

You grabbed at her shirt, pulled her toward you again until she was hovering above you. "It's okay, Vads," you promised. She was fidgety, clearly anxious, and you reached up, cupping her cheek. "Baby, I swear, it's okay."

She bit her lip. "I just fucked up our first time having sex. Oh my god, it's our first time having sex and I just...I just put my finger--"

You giggled a little. "It's okay. I'm fine; we're fine." You leaned up and kissed her gently. "Do you wanna try again?"

Vada looked at you hesitantly. "Can I?" she asked. "I kind of feel like I need to try to redeem myself and get my finger in the right place. Because, I swear, I know where it's supposed to go. I promise."

"Vada, please try again," you said, the pleading in your voice clear as day. "I really want you to."

She nodded. "Okay." She leaned down and pressed her lips to yours, a little rough in her nerves. You didn't mind, accepting the kiss happily. 

Her fingers started to roam down your body again, and you inhaled sharply at the feel of her slipping beneath your panties again. Her fingers started at your clit, rubbing quick circles, and you moaned into her, her mouth catching the sound. 

"Okay," she said, determined. "This time I got it." Her finger slipped downward, and you felt her pressing against your entrance. "That's right, right?"

"Yes," you said. "Yes, baby. Please, just--"

She pushed her finger into you and you groaned, back arching. "God, you're tight, baby. Feels so good."

"Fuck," you mumbled as she started thrusting. She curled her finger whenever she was fully inside, and it wasn't hard for her to find the rough spot of your walls. "Shit, shit, Vads."

She grinned and dipped down to your neck, lips hot against your skin. You could feel her kissing and nipping and sucking, but you could only pay attention to the fact that she was in you. 

"You can," you started breathlessly, "you can add another one." 

Vada hummed into your neck and slipped a second finger in you. You gasped at the stretch, hands flying to grip her hair. Her thumb reached up to play with your clit, and she quickened her pace. You were rolling your hips against her, whimpering.

"You're so pretty," she said, voice muffled. "So good, baby."

The praise pushed you to the edge. "Vads, I'm gonna cum," you whined. She thrusted into you hard once, and then again, and then you were cumming around her fingers.  At the same moment your orgasm washed through you, her teeth nipped at your pulse point, and you shivered, fingers tightening in her hair and a moan of her name falling from your lips.

She pulled out of you gently, grinning smugly as she did, and you watched as she brought her fingers to her mouth, licking them curiously. Her eyes widened. "Okay," she said decidedly. "Next time, I'm going down on you."

You chuckled and bit your lip. "You think there's gonna be a next time?" you teased.

Vada frowned. "I thought I redeemed myself pretty well," she huffed. 

"I dunno. We might have to do it again...just to check."

She grinned. "Not a problem with me." And then her lips were on yours again and her hand was sliding down your front. 

[enkas-illusion]

About My Man

About My Man - Part 1/5

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Choso x f!reader

Rating: SFW - Regardless, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, language, hurt/comfort

Chapter Summary: Question – How to tell your crush that he is your crush without actually having to admit that you have a crush on him? 

Author’s Note: Hello, another Choso short story, this time with his personatilie stolen from my beloved boyfriend. All characters are in their mid 20s. I've tried to keep the job as vague as possible so that the girlies could be delusional in peace. This is gonna be a 3-part story (probably). Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: for lovers who hesitate by JANNABI

“What about yours?” you hear the words but your brain fails to register them.

You stare at your crush, nothing but creeping panic behind your eyes while he looks at you expectantly.

What was he talking about again?

“What about me?” you smile at him awkwardly.

“Is it just me or has she been zoning out quite a lot recently?” Your other colleague Satoru interjects, further highlighting your unusual aloofness.

“Yup, I've noticed it as well,” Choso, the crush in question, agrees. 

“It's just that… I'm worried about the Smith’s project,” you lie.

“... that we closed today?” Satoru raises an eyebrow in suspicion. 

Thanks, Sherlock!

“Well, I’m just worried as the team leader, I guess?” You try your best to make your lie seem legit.

“Okay nerd… anyway, Choso was really interested in your love life,” Satoru giggles. You look at Choso for clarification and he stares back alarmed.

“That’s not– Maki was talking about the guy she met last week so I just wondered about yours,” Choso explains and you turn to look at Maki and she simply giggles, akin to the female lead of a romcom on finding the superhot main lead, as her body practically melts on the sofa.

“Whatever gave you the impression that I was dating someone?” you ask Choso curiously.

“Umm… I actually overheard your conversation last week when you were talking to Luna in the kitchen,” his face shows his embarrassment clearly as he confesses laughing awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, “Not much though! Just before I got there, I heard you gushing over someone, so I assumed you were dating?”

Question: How to tell your crush that he is your crush without actually having to admit that you have a crush on him?

“Oh” you chuckle dryly, “you know it’s not nice to eavesdrop, Cho.” 

You give your colleague-cum-roommate, Luna, a quick glance filled with panic and it’s enough for her to take over the matter to ‘help’ you.

“Yup, she’s in a long distance relationship. Thought you guys knew?” Luna's lie had a much better flair than whatever you would’ve blurted out.

However, pardon, the fuck? 

How did you even get here? This was supposed to be one of your regular chill Friday nights with the group hanging out at your and Luna's apartment as per usual. 

Due to its location being the closest to your office, your house was the unofficial hangout spot after work on the weekends. 

Naturally, you find yourself cursing the moment you invited everyone for late night drinks tonight. 

Satoru’s voice breaks your inner monologue, “Really? Since when?”

“Since when what?” you ask.

“Now I think you’re just pretending to be clueless!” the white-haired devil complains.

“I’m just tired… from doing all your work too!” you tease him.

“Don’t change the topic,” his smile drops as he stares dead into your eyes, “Since when have you been dating this guy? How did I not get the info on him yet?”

“A few weeks?” you say it more like a question than a definitive answer.

“Oh, good for you,” Choso gives you a formal obligatory smile but doesn’t ask any more questions. 

“Well, don’t be shy! Tell us more about the lucky guy,” if only Satoru knew when to shut the fuck up too.

“Oh, it’s nothing really… Just someone back home,” you end it at that, hoping for this torture to end soon.

“Hmm, what’s his name?” the hell, in fact, did not end.

Right in that moment, as if your brain shifted into autopilot mode, desperate to save you from a huge embarrassment, your mouth uttered a name that surprised you too, “Suguru.”

Luna looks at you, impressed by how well you’re holding up the lie, but decides to help you by changing the topic out of mercy, “Omg, guys, I totally forgot to tell you but did you hear that Kento’s girlfriend apparently cheated on him? I mean, imagine cheating on the Nanami Kento.”

“Wait, the perfect looking blondie from accounts?” Gojo asks curiously.

You’d heard the story last week in detail so you quickly excuse yourself to go to the kitchen. You get a bottle of cold water and chug it down, feeling it ease the dry burning sensation in your throat. You sigh as you crouch against the kitchen counter.

What the fuck? To recap, you just destroyed all hopes of a possible romance between you and your current crush by lying about a fake relationship with your ancient teenage crush. Cool!

“You alright?” Choso’s voice startles you as you turn to look at him and smile.

“Yeah, just tired,” you sigh. 

“So… Suguru, huh?” he states plainly as he grabs another bottle from the refrigerator, standing across from you. 

You half-convince yourself to tell him the truth but don’t quite get there as your fear of embarrassment outweighs everything else. So you end up with just a half-baked, “Yup…”

“Hmm”

“Why? Does it bother you?” you tease him as usual to dissolve the awkwardness.

“Can’t say I’m thrilled…” he mumbles, looking up at you. His eyes hold your gaze in a stupor and for a moment you actually wonder if there’s still some hope left for you.

“To be hon–” your sentence is cut off when the white-haired devil reappears.

“Choso, we're leaving. Still want me to drop you home?” Satoru waits at the entrance of the kitchen. 

“Yup, let's go,” Choso replies before looking at you again, “I guess I'll see you later then... good night.”

You just nod and hug him briefly when he extends his arms for you before the two guys leave.

As much as you liked Choso Kamo, it was impossible to decipher whether he reciprocated your feelings or not. And you weren’t too keen on making a fool of yourself in such an astronomical manner.

Well, what’s another unrequited crush, right?

“Did I fuck it up?” Luna asks, guilt lacing her voice, the minute she closes the door when everyone leaves.

“Kinda? Can't say I blame you though. You were just trying to save me from imminent embarrassment,” you let out a dry chuckle as you collapse on your living room sofa. 

“Is it really that big of a deal? Just tell Choso you like him. It's like ripping off a band-aid,” she sits next to you.

“Well… you just reinforced the band-aid with concrete,” you laugh, finding your own misery weirdly amusing.

A few moments pass by in silence. While you may not have the power to hear your roommate’s thoughts, you know her well enough to believe she’ll have a solution for your problem soon enough. As if on cue, she speaks again.

“Umm… How about… tell the guys you couldn't do long distance! Say that Suguru broke up with you in like a week or so?” she suggests.

You stare into nothingness, contemplating it seriously – wondering all the possibilities and details of the elaborate lie. Luna brings you back to the present with her next question. 

“Anyway, who's Suguru? Does the man exist in real life?”

You snort at her question, “Very real… kinda wish he wasn't though.”

She waits for you to explain further so you continue, “You remember the story about the guy from my hometown? About the guy who kissed me but then decided he wasn’t sure if he was a ‘relationship kinda guy’?”

“Oh! That was Suguru?!” Luna exclaims, connecting the dots.

“Yup… first real crush and real kiss… you know, the tongue type,” you sigh as you reminisce, causing Luna to giggle at the dramatic look on your face.

“Hey! Don't laugh… it was right before we both left for college, shit hurt,” you pierce a fake dagger into you heart.

“Aww. Just one week babe. Put an end to your fake relationship and go back to whatever you got going with Choso,” she reiterates the game plan.

“Right… I might be into it even deeper for Choso than I ever was for Suguru. I really do need to fix this,” you mumble in a defeated tone.

“Hey, stop with the depressed, longing-for-love look! Just tell him how you feel for fucks sake!” she scolds you.

“Right, I'll sort this out and tell Choso how I feel!” You say with a half-determined half-dubious look in your eyes.

You get up to retire to your bedroom, leaving your friend behind and find your peace in the comfort of your dreams for the night.

~~~

The very next weekend, you make sure to set the record straight and tell the group about your very ‘sad’ breakup, cooking up an elaborate story about how the distance took its toll on the relationship and blah blah blah – catching yourself just enough to not go overboard with the lie.

You caught a sympathetic look from Choso that covered up the relief of his jealous heart well. 

“Well, you deserve better anyway,” he patted your head softly.

“Thanks,” you chuckled, “but you don’t even know the guy.”

“I know you well enough to know that you deserve someone who doesn't let distance get in the way of showing his love,” there's sincerity in his voice and you try your best not to blush and turn into a puddle right then.

The whole evening your mind's preoccupied with gauging how long you could wait after your fake breakup to confess to Choso without seeming like a psycho who doesn't experience heartbreak.

Luna suggests a period of mourning for a week. You counter it with ‘2 months… MINIMUM’. By the end of your discussion with your roommate, you decide on 1 month. 

In one month's time, you'll confess to Choso… or try your best to seduce him into confessing instead.

You still had time to plan the details.

Or so you'd thought. 

A week passes by and you slowly start to get back your usual friendly flirtatious relation with Choso, who for reasons unknown to you, had really started to get more daring with his advances.

So when your phone rings in the morning as you reach your doorsteps, right after your morning run together, you pick it up with a bright “Hiiiii”

“Hi gorgeous, how you doin’?” his voice resonates at the other end of the call.

“You mean since the last 15 minutes when you dropped me off at my place?” You giggle as you try to find your apartment keys in your gym bag with one hand.

“Every minute we're apart is torture to me,” if someone heard Choso speak, they would reach the conclusion that you were indeed entering the talking stage with him.

“You know I have enough cheese at home, right?” You joke, but not without smiling ear to ear.

“Ha. Ha.” he says plainly, yet he can't help but let his tone give his giddiness away even when he's trying to be sarcastic, “When should we get the pizzas?”

You jimmy the keys in the lock before pausing to think, “I'll ask Lu, but 7 should be fine, I guess? Anyway, that's 9pm on Gojo time.”

You don't hear Choso’s next sentence because your attention shifts to someone calling your name behind you.

You turn around and it takes a moment for you to register the presence of the man standing in front of you. 

A man so beautifully breathtaking that you can’t help but check him out purely based on natural human instinct. A beauty so magnetic that even those without any intention would risk it all for him.

You stare at his tall, muscular built – arms covered in exquisite tattoos that play hide and seek on his skin, obscured by the half rolled up sleeves of his hoodie. Long black hair tied up in a loose bun with two short strands escaping the rubber band's hold to adorn the outline of his face.

And his face, the only part you recognize as if it were just yesterday that you saw him and let him break your heart before you left town for dreams of a better future.

“Hello?” Choso's voice on the other end snaps you back to reality. 

“Cho, I'll call you back,” you hang up, finding yourself in a state of reverie.

“Hi stranger… Do you remember me?” the man smiles at you.

“Of course I do, Suguru.”

~to be continued~

Part 2

[twistedminutia]

Hello! You mentioned it being the one year anniversary for your fic soon — in light of the most recent chapter I think it would be very interesting to know what the teachers thought of Gray

All right, so I said try to limit it to one character per ask, but this one was sent before I officially posted the rules, so I'll do all the teachers, but keep the answers short for each one. Also, I wasn't sure if you wanted Crowley included in there, so I'll throw him in as a freebie.

Crowley:

"The prefect, hm? An unusual human, to be sure. The Dark Mirror has never erred in its time of serving the school, but to summon a student without magic... well, I just can't seem to figure out the reasoning! Adding to that the idea that she's from another world entirely, something that shouldn't be possible... Of course, I am looking into it! But answers have been rather difficult to find. Regardless, she's a fine enough student and quite willing to assist me when needed, so I have few complaints! Though I do think she could try to curb the appetite of her beast. I'm not made of money, you know!"

Trein:

"Gray is a fine student. Attentive in class, completes homework on time, and seems eager to learn. I admit, I was quite surprised by her seeming dedication to her studies contrasted with her lack of knowledge. I recall she scored quite dismally on her first exam here. She was quite distraught over it. Even when she began attending office hours and taking some private tutelage from me, she was still struggling. Of course, it all makes sense now, knowing she's not from this world. Poor girl. I don't think Crowley is taking her situation seriously enough. I've asked her to reach out, but she doesn't seem eager to do so. I'm not convinced staying here is the best thing for her, but if Crowley truly is looking into a way to return her home, perhaps it is best she stays here for now. Not to mention, she has a cat of her own. I think Lucius likes the company when Gray brings her around."

Crewel:

"That pup needs less discipline than her companions, but she also needs some serious assertiveness training! A pup too frightened to bite back is almost as bad as one who bites too much. In this kennel, the runts will get crushed if they don't stand up for themselves. As frustrating as that mangy mutt she spends most of her time with is, at least he knows how to snap back. She remains utterly reluctant to do so. Of course, Crowley hasn't been helping. I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. Despite her lack of magic, Gray is focused in class, which is more than I can say for her companions. Though she still can't keep Grim on a short enough leash to prevent a disaster every other week..."

Vargas:

"The girl? Needs training! Maybe she can't fly a broom like the rest of the guys here, but she can run laps, do pushups, and get herself some MUSCLE! Looks like a twig that's about to blow over and gets winded after one lap of the field. Not having magic is all the MORE reason to make sure she's got bulk enough to protect herself. I'll come up with a training regimen that'll whip her into shape and help her build STRENGTH."

[desultory-novice]

No rush on answering this, I know you got stuff going on

Can I ask about you MariPav process? I want to make a comic too and MariPav is a huge inspiration for me. So, I was wondering if you could share any tips.

The main things on my mind are

How did you come up with the story and how much of it do you have planned before hand

What is the drawing process? Do you do a rough sketch first, do you do a chapter's outlines and then color or do you finish a page then do the next, etc.

About how long does it take you per page?

How did you decide the level of detail you draw in for this comic?

Do you have any monochromatic shading/coloring tips? I'm not very good with working outside of color

How do you keep consistent character design?

You're also really good at speech bubble spacing and comedic timing that doesn't pull you out of the story. How do you do it?

Sorry,, I ended up asking a lot of questions...

; _ ; Ahh, thank you so much for asking questions about my process?! It makes me feel good to know people are interested and I'm happy to go into (lots) of detail about it!

1) [THE STORY]

So, the initial concept of Marionettes' Pavane came from two separate comics I'd wanted to do. One was about how Magolor and Marx reunite after the end of Return to Dream Land. (I had only been in the fandom for a little bit but had already fallen hard for this ship, and while there were lots of stories about how they met, pre-RtDL, it seemed pretty obvious to me that Marx wasn't around for RtDL so I wanted to know how they might have gotten together after.)

Another idea that stuck in my head was for a story about how Marx went from being an innocent Noddy to the Marx we know and love. Neither of these ideas were going to be gijinka to start with, btw - I've mentioned this [one really long Kirby x Marx comic] I read on Pixiv that was a huge storytelling inspiration to me for MariPav.

That, plus a few other good gijinka fan comics, was probably what pushed me to make it a gijinka story, in addition to a few lines that popped into my head that worked better if they were humanoid.

(Initially, I was still going to do the Marx backstory comic separately, but I realized it was just easier to work it into MariPav because it was clearly influencing MariPav Marx's characterization. Then I wrote up a Magolor backstory chapter to match.)

As for the writing, I wrote out the WHOLE script, beginning to end, before I began drawing it! I knew myself and I didn't want get lost as to where my own story was going or pivot directions so hard in the middle that the beginning no longer made sense. Writing it was pretty exciting, so it wasn't too hard to get the whole thing done, though it definitely took a few months of chipping away at it.

(In fact I was so addicted to writing it that after I "finished," I couldn't stop toying with it and added on several epilogue chapters! ^^)

You can additionally get a glimpse at what some of my thought processes/inspiration for coming up with the story were by re-reading my old Marxolor "rant" [here]

As for the process, once I'd jotted down enough lines/conversations to establish the theme ("Was it worth it?" etc etc) I would draft out summaries for what I wanted to have happen in the chapters (interspersed with whatever thoughts about the story came to mind that I might want to include somewhere later, not all of these made it in, such as Magolor trolling Marx with the ladder) and, when inspired, add in bits of conversation till I had enough material for a full chapter.

[Screenshot of a chapter breakdown from one of my earliest drafts]

Inspiration came from a lot of places. I would re-review cutscenes from RtDL or other games, look at inspiring fanart, or indulge in completely unrelated media till something would click as "Oh! Marx and Magolor really ought to have this happen to them!"

[Screenshot of a paragraph of (unused) ideas from one of my earliest drafts]

[An early draft of Chapter 5. I used red and blue text for Marx and Magolor's dialogue early on. The scene is in an early, unfinished state. Notice how figuring out I could work in the Gem Apples was something that came along toward the end, even though now, it seems like the whole POINT of the chapter. XD]

I wrote MariPav before learning about the Snowflake Method for writing stories, but as you can sort of see here, my method did come close to following the "one sentence summary > one paragraph summary > three paragraph summary > write it" style.

When I was gearing up to finally draw it, a month or so after reaching the "end" of the story (though I actually wrote the "end" really early on and it's remained 95% unchanged through multiple additions. Sometimes, you write the ending first ^^) I went back in, cleaned the script up, filled in any lingering <n happens here> lines and added in stage directions, which is the script I currently work from!

--

2) [DRAWING IT]

As for my drawing process, that's changed a bit from the beginning, but here is my current drawing process! First, I'll draw a really loose "thumbnail" sketch in big blocky pencil. This is normally just "Marx go here! Mago go here! Mago mad!!" type stuff. Then I'll copy paste in my dialogue and move it and the sketches around till I have something that looks decent. I'll chop up each "page" and copy into my main comic making app and arrange them on the actual pages.

[An example of some thumbnails from the latest comic, right before I copied it into the main comic doc for cleaning. They're usually not even THIS detailed XD]

After that, I do a second rough, where they actually start to resemble themselves and I figure out things like where their limbs should go or add detail to their expressions (as well as note any kind of effects I will want to include in the finished panel.)

[A secondary rough from Chapter 5. I eventually made a (more simplistic than it looks) 3D model for Magolor's egg to help keep it relatively on model.]

Then comes adding in the panel borders and moving the secondary roughs around so they fit nicely. After that, I ink, though if my secondary roughs are unsatisfactory, I will bring in 3D models or references and draw them again before going back to inks.

I do it all in batches, by the way! Thumbnails for all ten~ish pages, roughs for all ten~ish pages, inks for all ten~ish pages. Because I'm still growing as an artist, if I finish one page before starting on the next, it's liable to look COMPLETELY different than the previous page! XD (Which I've had happen! Then I have to go back and redo the previous page so it looks more consistent, bleugh~...)

Sometime, early on in the inking, I will add in the balloons for the dialogue and arrange the text in them. I do this because :cough: sometimes I can use dialogue balloons to cover up anatomy I'm not that great at XD Then I add in the flat/base colors.

[Same page as before showing how I used balloons to cover un-inked areas. And also how I had to redraw Marx in the first panel to fix his proportions. Although I think his face was much cuter in the first draft XD ]

Then comes a really frenzied period where I do shading and panel FX and sound FX at the same time and it gets really messy and I'm still trying to find a way to clean up that process some ^^;

--

3) [TIME]

It's hard to be sure on a per page level since I jump back and forth between pages, but I spent a LOT of time fixing/adjusting things and trying to make sure things look as good as they possibly can. So a page will be "almost done" for a long time before I'm ready to say to myself, "Yeah, this is shareable!" Coming up with thumbnails that fit my idea for the script can be incredibly time intensive too!

[Here are the "complete" thumbnails for Chapter 5 Part 2]

As you can see, I actually began secondary roughs on this chapter BEFORE I had figured out what two of the last pages would even look like! I tried and just... couldn't come up with a good idea till the very end. Figuring out layouts has been really tricky and sometimes I'll flip open a variety of manga to see what they might do!

(And then I remember that manga layouts and whatnot are often highly differentiated by genre and MariPav is all over the place XD )

--

4) [DETAIL]

Here is the VERY FIRST drawing I ever drew of gijinka Marx and Magolor, when I was testing out what my mental image of them would look like. Everything was quite rough at this time. I hadn't figured out exactly what hairstyle I wanted Magolor to have and Marx's wings are more like attachments than arms. XD

But basically, because I drew them looking more like semi-realistically proportioned adults (figured it'd be easier to get suitable references that way) I decided to stick with that look through the story. That ended up demanding a certain level of bg/prop detail to look right and...it's one of the more frustrating parts. ^^;

It would have been a lot easier to start if I'd drawn them in a more cartoonish-anime style, like how Apologies started out, but I knew I had a few very serious and intense scenes that I thought might look laughable if Marx and Magolor were more marshmallowy looking ^^

Also, since Marionettes' Pavane is, when it comes down to it, a love story between two horrifically emotionally-stunted adults, past the point where innocent childhood mistakes are easily forgivable but without the inner peace, maturity, and knowledge to know how to NOT make these same mistakes over and over, I wanted their body types to reflect the fact that they are both fully grown. (Despite the immaturity they frequently CONSTANTLY display to each other.)

There are many stories about confused kids/young adults making mistakes and getting better. Not as many about adults, despite plenty of us being just as confused.

And I can just switch to a chibi-style if I need them to be small!

(Even Apologies has started to shift in and out of MariPav's pseudo anime-realism style, and I'll notice myself drawing tall, tanky anime boy Noir, even though his initial concept is short, underfed, underdeveloped, squishy-cartoon boy. You can see the reverse happen when I draw MariPav in a rush and Marsh and Magolor start to look more boyish and squishy. So, in short, don't do what I do and try to draw two different comics with two different artstyles at the same time XD)

--

5) [MONOCHROME TIPS]

I say go ahead and use color, and then throw a desaturation filter on that baby, if you can! Now, to ease this process, you might want to make test palette FIRST, draw your characters with their normal colors and then de-saturate that and save it for referencing later!

[I started out making a very nice palette for the two of them, only to accidentally delete it. I still needed one, so I made a second - and while I accidentally deleted THAT one too ^^; I swear, the "lineart" portion of it looked JUST like this. Just scribbles I would daub paint colors on. The key is that your palette reference doesn't have to look good, you just need to be able to sample from it!]

Now, you might notice not everything looks right when desaturated. That's a matter of values, etc! What you can do is take the monochromatic grays you've got and further adjust them from there so they look more like the gray versions of your original colors. 

[NEW OUTFIT SPOILERS!!]

I had to do this with their new outfits too in fact!

I drew them up, worked rea~lly hard on getting their palettes the way I liked, then I desaturated them and Marx looked like a a big dark blob!! You want to be very sparing with including dark colors and blacks in your palette when doing monochromatic manga, because your panel borders, text, sfx, panel effects and your shading are going to be vying for access to those precious dark tones. And if EVERYTHING stands out... then NOTHING does!

So I manually adjusted the grays on both so that they would look better good and communicate the same light-to-dark information.

--

6) [CONSISTENCY]

Because I keep all of MariPav in one big document (split up by arcs) if I forget how something looks, I just page back to the last time I drew it ^^; That said, as hinted at above, I'm...not all that great at consistency myself. Either with artstyle OR tiny details.

"Do Magolor's gloves have trim on the ends or not?" "Do Marx's bangs curl inward or out?" "What the heck do his shoe laces look like again?" "How many grooves are in the back of Magolor's egg?" "Did you forget his work apron again?" "Hasn't Marx's collar grown in size since last time--"

COUGH COUGH COUGH

I hope to get better at consistency down the line, but the truth of the matter is I do most things in life completely frazzled and I just have to do what I can do in the time I have! Outside of having references for yourself (and I have two very slightly modified 3D models I use labeled for "Marx" and "Magolor" to help keep their shapes consistent-ish) drawing your characters a little bit every day will help!

Especially the every day (that you can) part. Let it go too long and you MAY misremember something you'd done, only to canonize it next time you draw them ^^; :remembers how I accidentally gave Hell Branch Magolor his other eye back and lost track of Hell Branch Blade's scarf:

And then sometimes I decide I maybe want to change something up because I just wasn't thinking of all sorts of better possibilities before and "la la la" it is this way now, just go with it~

--

7) [COMEDY & SPEECH]

I've been something of the family goofball since I was a kid, so I'm pretty used to comedy, especially hyper-dramatization comedy.

[This is a pretty good sample of the exaggerated way I talk in real life haha XD]

Some tips I've heard for "timing" is that the end of the page should be a moment that makes the reader want to turn to the next one to see what happens. Or be the conclusion of a story beat or joke. Either use it to build anticipation or let the reader rest.

Speaking of letting the reader rest, I read somewhere that the reason manga doesn't include backgrounds as much as western comics and web-comics is not that Japan hates backgrounds or anything...

It's the theory that the more information on a page, the more mental energy a reader spends taking it in! You don't want them to exhaust themselves looking at detailed backdrops unless the presence of the BG is also communicating something!

That's why so many manga will have those panels that have 3-4 speech bubbles laid over some generic screen tone. The artist isn't lazy, they're telling you "just relax and focus on the words!"

That's also how you preserve flow, by limiting the amount of visual information there is on any given page. It actually took me a while to learn that, and I sometimes regret that the original MariPav script is super wordy for a comic script.

(Because I wrote it first - before I'd done a deep dive study on the art of comic-crafting. That and I was more used to writing fanfic and original stories than comic scripts - which often need to be tightly trimmed. They also have a bunch of different storytelling devices you don't always expect. Like, most manga has WAY more internal dialogue and thoughts than MariPav has, which is written more like a stage play, being told entirely through back and forth dialogue.)

As a result, now, when I paste my dialogue in over my thumbnails, I'll often chop whole lines out or trim them down so they won't just eat up my page space. They say "kill your darlings" for a reason.

Lastly, I actually have a friend who works in comics, and I've pinged them a couple of times for advice on how to get my speech bubbles looking good. They've given me lots of advice, and not just on lettering! (They were the one who recommended using a kind of creeping, broken shadow instead of a plain flat shadow over Dedede's face + the tv static lines over DMS seen here too.)

[I credit their advice with the reason that first comic got so much positive attention. Tbh, it's those little touches that really make it!]

Some other advice they gave me was to make sure your text has plenty of room inside your balloons. You're trying to fit a square peg in a circular hole, after all! But again, sometimes I just place my bubbles in areas where they'll be most convenient for the art! XD

-

Anyway, I hope I did well answering your questions and providing insight. Of course, the biggest thing is that everything takes a combination of hours of practice and also... just some life experience.

I have been reading manga since I was 12, which nowadays makes it sound like I started LATE in life till you remember I'm 40 years old (and back then we had to walk two miles in the... we had to import untranslated single volumes from sketchy web sites with zero preview pics, based entirely on how interesting the title sounded) and in spite of my long history with the medium, I still found that I couldn't replicate the look of it it based on memory alone.

That's because there's a difference in taking in something for enjoyment and taking in some for study. What I've been having to do lately is STUDY manga - very intensely. I'm constantly having to look up "how to express frustration in manga" "manga sfx" "effective manga panelling" "crying, manga-style" to get things close!

(Of course, my years of reading and enjoying it helped in its own way too. After all, the stories I'm writing now are based on years of lived experience, in and out of fictional worlds and that stuff is KEY.)

But yes, get started on that comic of yours! Honestly, the best thing I did with MariPav was start drawing it. I knew I would have a long way to go to get it looking like it does in my head and it's still got a long way to go before it's there, but every page I make is getting me there.

[nkjemisin]

"How easy/hard is it for cities to be born, and what cities do you think will be born next?"

Got this set of questions from a reader, but I can't post the actual ask due to spoilers. I've paraphrased the questions, and here are the answers, sans spoilers. This post is long, so first a cut:

Hi there! I'm afraid I have to answer this privately because of the spoilers in your ask. But since my reply contains info that might be interesting to other readers of my books, I'm going to publicly post a redacted version of my answer, paraphrasing your q without the spoilers. I'll leave your name out of it, unless you prefer otherwise.

Re cities being born -- it's not an "easy/hard" thing, it's a "critical mass" thing. Basically as more and more minds focus on that city and imbue it with their beliefs and imaginings, these become the metaphysical building blocks of city life, which build up and interact. Let's call them, uh, "citimino acids," lol. Many things can disrupt this buildup -- the city's character changing drastically and quickly, natural or societal disasters, a hit TV show a la "Miami Vice" from back in the day. These changes introduce fresh citimino acids, and some of the new ones are incompatible with some of the old ones, so the primordial soup stops churning for a while as the city develops a new character or reputation. But if the soup is allowed to churn up again, for a period that varies per city, then the acids eventually spark into life. At this point, the process changes to something more like human pregnancy, because humans are driving it. The physical city starts to "gestate" a metaphysical self: a mind, free will, whatever you want to call it. (I'll call it a soul.) At this point city avatars start being able to sense the developing meta-city; that's how the Summit knows to send someone when the "due date" draws close. Proto-avatars of that city can sense it, too, as Neek did in the short story/prologue of TCWB.

This process eventually happens in most new cities that develop any kind of distinctive culture. It also happens in old cities that have been through a period of upheaval, like a conquest or a major disaster. Complete destruction of a city (see: Pompeii) would obviously kill its soul. But for cities that only get partially destroyed, the city's soul (and avatar) survives on the sufferance of belief. If a city gets conquered or its population killed by a disaster or something equally horrific, every human being who hears about it is going to have a thought about that city. If enough of those people think, "Well, that's just life in [City], its citizens ought to be used to this kind of thing," then the city retains its character, stays alive, and the avatar lives. (See: Istanbul.) But if enough people think, "Oh no, the [City] that I knew is gone! It's never going to be the same, what a shame, we went there on our honeymoon," then the physical city might be rebuilt, but the city's soul (and avatar) wil die. A new soul might eventually be reborn, but it will be a different soul. Roman Empire-era Rome is very different from the Rome of today. That city has had several avatars down the ages.

Anyway, tl;dr, colonialism is why there's so much city birth happening in the Western Hemisphere. And all the technological and cultural revolutions the world has had in the past few centuries have created other clusters; consider all the new "planned cities" in Africa and Asia, for example. So because of all this global upheaval, the Summit is going to be very busy for a while.

(This is stuff I sketched out a few years back, when I was figuring out how "city magic" worked. I tried not to put too much of it in the books, however. Just because I suffer for my art doesn't mean everybody else has to.)

Off the top of my head, US cities that will definitely (eventually) get born include, in addition to the ones mentioned in the books: Los Angeles (per the original short story), New Orleans again, the Bay Area, and Boston. But feel free to imagine more, because I haven't exactly visited every city in America so my impressions of them are naturally going to be biased.

Outside the US, I honestly don't know enough about other countries to tell. I would guess most of the 10 largest cities in Central and South America, but it won't be in order of size, it'll be in order of culture/renown/public opinion.

Whew, long answer. Hope that answers your questions. And thanks!

[mmultifandommultishipper]

Per the results of the poll i did a few weeks ago, here is a snippet from the book I am currently working on! I’m not sure this will actually end up i’m the actual book, but i like doing little dribbles like this to understand the characters better.

Hope you enjoy! (Snippet under the cut)

I've never really had good friends. I think I realized that really early on, too, back in elementary school. I remember one day, my teacher went around the room asking what we did for the weekend. One girl said, “I went to Ellie’s birthday party on Saturday!” Then the next girl, and then the next. I remember watching as each girl in the class happily declared how she went to Ellie's party at the trampoline park, feeling more and more embarrassed that I was not invited. It’s easy to feel left out when you’re at the age where your parents basically require you to invite the whole class.

Just as another girl finished her story of how she chipped a tooth trying to do a backflip, the teacher got to me. Twenty one pairs of eyes turned towards me, all looking expectantly. I sunk into my chair, trying to make myself as small as possible. Because I knew I wasn’t invited to Ellie’s party, and I knew that everyone else did, too. I thought about how easy it must’ve been for Ellie to convince her parents to not invite me, given my reputation. Mentioning my frequent trips to the principal's office probably would’ve done it.

I remained silent. So the teacher repeated, “Vivien? It’s your turn, honey.”

Not moving from where I was, I mumbled an answer. “I went to the library all by myself.”

I heard a few giggles from my classmates, which barely fazed me, I’d gotten used to that. What I hated is what happened next.

The teacher praised me, calling me ‘very grown-up’ and ‘responsible' for going to the library by myself. But that didn't make me feel any better. Actually, it couldn’t have made me feel worse. And suddenly the lights were too bright, and the AC was too loud, and I swore I could hear the clock ticking on the back wall. Because she was pitying me, as if to say, ‘It’s alright Vivien, you’ll be invited to a birthday party someday!’ I hated pity.

Well the jokes on her, because I didn’t. That whole year, none of the other girls invited me to any of their birthday parties.

It’s not like I cared, though.

Because like I said, I was never real friends with any of them.

[not-poignant]

Hi there! I absolutely love your works and, having followed you for a while now, I also really admire you as a person and an author in general. Every update on AO3 and Tumblr is always such a delight. I'm sorry if this ask is coming out of the blue or if it's something you've been asked before, but how did you take the plunge from writing predominantly fanfic to posting original fiction in serial form and also self-publishing novels? I'm currently in the process of drafting two original works after writing/posting fanfic regularly for years, and I'm just lost as to how to set everything up. I have a general idea (post chapter-by-chapter on AO3 and offer early access and some exclusive content on patreon or some other subscription service), but it all feels so daunting right now. Any bit of info or advice on how you got started would be immensely appreciated <3

Hi anon,

Tbh, I went from writing fanfic to original fiction because I had original characters in my fanfiction and readers asked me about them.

I had no kind of...dreams of being an original author in this way, I was published via other pathways already, and fanfiction was really an escape for me, a chance to break with all the conventions of standard writing and just do what I wanted.

But I needed a broader cast than what the movie gave me re: my first fanfics, and I added my own OCs, and left them in the background as much as possible, but even back while writing that fanfic, even the OCs were getting fanart. Sometimes readers would send me anons about them, or ask me more details about them.

Finally, I decided to write some hatesex between them, just something to kind of...idk get it out of my system? Answer what the readers were looking for?

The flow through therefore felt natural. Game Theory flows very naturally on from From the Darkness We Rise & Into Shadows We Fall. And from there, moving into other original works has been easy, in part, because I've often being doing alternate universes from a core of original characters.

If I want to introduce new original characters, I introduce them in stories where pre-existing original characters have already been established.

I didn't even start writing original works with a view to making money off that. In fact I thought it was a very foolish thing to do. A lot of people on AO3 don't want to read original works on AO3 and refuse to do it or only do it if it's PWP / pornography.

I started my Patreon account because readers asked me to. I got asks from very very generous people who wanted to know my Paypal, or asked if I'd start a Ko-Fi, and finally a few people just asked if I'd start a Patreon. I said I didn't think it was a good idea, and they said it was up to them if they wanted to pay me or not, but I should at least consider giving them the choice.

From there, I found it all very overwhelming. I made lots of mistakes. I had to go on hiatus for a year because I promised too much and couldn't deliver on many of those rewards. And for many years I only offered one early access chapter per week for one story, and my main stories were never early access (and still aren't, Underline the Black goes up for everyone at the same time - and while that may change in the future, it's definitely unconventional).

I've always been transparent with my readers that with very few exceptions, if they just wait, they eventually get everything for free. But if they want to support this kind of writing and/or enjoy it, and can comfortably afford to send some dollars my way, they can ensure that I can keep writing this way.

I have for a long time offered no exclusive content at all, I believe that can do well, but it's not my preferred way of doing things.

This career has been incredibly reader driven, anon. I would not personally attempt it cold, without a really fantastic readerbase who encouraged me every step of the way in the first place, because I am a cautious, insecure writer who doesn't like to take risks. So I can't give you advice on how to build this career without the support of the readers there in the first place, and I believe the only reason why I had their support was, in part, because of the actual strength of the writing itself. Which isn't to say it's the best, it's not, it's what I needed at the time and it's what a few other people needed, and that's basically how this works.

If you turn up with the writing, and the audience comes, and they want the story, you have the career.

In terms of practical advice - you can introduce original characters in fanfiction, just be aware that readers tend to be hostile by default if they pull any significant 'screen time' away from the fandom characters (and readers are extremely savvy to authors trying to build a financial business through AO3)

It IS daunting, but the good news is you can do a soft launch. You can open a Patreon or Ream account tomorrow and tell no one. You can mess with your graphics and your tier rewards to your heart's content when you don't have any subscribers. Build a buffer of early access/chapters, and make sure you don't overpromise on anything. Whatever you think you can realistically deliver to readers, cut it in half, because the stress of chapter update deadlines every month can really add up and it's a very different landscape to novel releases.

You can take your time, you can build interest slowly.

Remember you can never ever mention any kind of site where you're getting paid inadvertently, sneakily, or directly on AO3. You can't mention Ream, you can't mention Patreon, you can't mention Ko-Fi, you can't go 'learn more about my writing here' and link to those places. You can't mention buy links. You can only mention sites like Tumblr, Linktree, Twitter etc. Places where the point of sale isn't happening. Not doing so risks AO3's Not For Profit status and risks your entire account, and it's not worth it.

I did an interview with Subscriptions for Authors where I actually talk about many of these things so you can watch (or listen to) the podcast here if you're inclined! It also talks about the importance of community-building, gratitude to the readers, and generosity.

I am here because my readers wanted me to be. So I'm very concerned with making sure I can give them the best writing possible within my abilities. This makes me not very suited to offering 'how to start in this career' advice because it was a happy accident. It's hard to teach something I have never done your way myself, anon, because I worry I'd give bad advice. My writing had people turning up, but I'm not sure anything else I did, added much! I think responding to Tumblr asks and replying to every comment helped too! But...I don't know for sure.

But this career path does make me pretty well suited to offering 'how to keep this going' advice, because I've been doing this for ten years. <3333

[tuesday-teyz]

Hi, so I literally just got tumbler to see your posts and I love BR so much. So I have a few questions for you that I hope you'd answer. Apologies if it's long.

Would anything change in the story change if BR!Tommy had a younger sibling?

If BR!Tommy had met BR!Ranboo before becoming the crown prince (say in some alternate universe he visited Esempi and met him or something) would he befriend him?

Was there any way that BR!Tommy and BR!Ranboo could have gotten along prior to chapter 26?

Did Kristen usually visit small towns when she was alive, or was it just L'manberg?

How old was BR!Niki when she met BR!Tommy's family?

What was your inspiration for the characters in BR and how they acted?

Does BR!Tommy still love BR!Micheal as a little brother, and come to think of it, does BR!Micheal love BR!Tommy in that way too?

Continuing on from my previous question, does Micheal still have Henry or is he gone?

Do you think BR!Beau and BR!Ranboo could work together and become friends after the events of chapter 26?

Why did BR!Philza like BR!Ranboo out of all the other commoner children?

Did BR!Philza know that BR!Ranboo was a slave?(I'm saying this because in Remarried Empress, Sovieshu had known Rasta was a slave all along, and I know that your fic is based on Remarried Empress)

Come to think of it, where did BR!Philza find BR!Ranboo because BR!Ranboo had lived in Esempi

Also, you don't have to answer a certain question if it'll spoil later chapters

Thank you so much for looking at my questions, considering the fact you even read this post. I think Butterfly Reign is one of (if not the) best fanfics or even stories I've ever read, and I think you're a pretty Poggers writer!

An ask! Haven't done this in a while, but I'll do my best answering your questions! :D

1. Ooooo that's an interesting one. I don't think I've ever thought of it before. In a way, you could say that Tommy did have a younger sibling in the face of Michael (who is his adoptive cousin), but I know that it wouldn't have been the same. There are many factors to how this could play out; whether Tommy is close with that sibling, or how they'd be treated by Phil and Kristin, but I think ultimately Tommy would have all the more reason to push for the crown prince status, and the main storyline would have played out the same with the exception of Tommy being either incessantly harsh towards the youngster (bad example from Phil) or borderline possessive of them in a Wilbur-like manner.

2. Yes! I think I've already speculated on an alternative universe for a scenario where Tommy gets to meet Ranboo on more peaceful terms. I think it would have been a slowburn type of friendship with Tommy learning how not to be an asshole all the time and Ranboo getting to know the ways of court – maybe through becoming Tommy’s attendant.

3. Absolutely! Br!Kristin did a lot of town visits and charity work in her days as an Empress, especially with southern towns that were the most affected by the war in Essempi... and so did Phil, but we are not going to learn about that until later.

4. I think she was anywhere from eleven to fourteen years old, I don't have a very strict timeline for that period, but the way it went was that Niki was sent to be mentored by Kristin. She was fostered in the AE to prepare her for ruling for several years, so that makes her almost a sister to Tommy, Wilbur and Techno.

5. Mostly my own family. I wouldn't call it projection per se, but prior to the start of BR we went through some rough things that made me see a new side to many of my family members – some good, some bad, all very human. BR at large is an exploration of different behaviors I observed in people around me. For example, br!Wilbur is strongly inspired by my cousin, who we were very close with at a young age, and br!Phil definitely has borrowed a lot out of my own father. And of course there were many outside sources from other fics I've read, from my favorite Webtoons and novels, and even random reddit stories I've seen and that stuck with me enough that I wanted to incorporate them into the characters.

6. Yes, Tommy definitely cares about Michael, and Michael about Tommy, but there are certain things in their backstory that make it hard for them to interact. Michael much prefers being around Tubbo because there is less negative emotional package tied to their relationship.

7. Michael still has Henry!

8. No :D

9 & 10. There is a reason for that that I cannot disclose yet.

And the last but not least, I hadn't gotten a chance to make this very clear but Ranboo used to work for Quackity in exchange for him getting him out of Esempi but ultimately ran away when he realized that he's never really gotten free. Which was not thought well though because three days layer he's barely alive in the woods when he stumbles upon Phil's carriage.

I'm really happy you're enjoying the story, and I hope this satisfies your curiosity!

[gryphonlover]

Did I hear you have a Vigilante AU????? I looooooove superhero/vigilante AUs O_O I haven't been able to find any in this fandom and I have been starving for one.

Is it public? On Ao3 or something? Or is it still cooking in your head (or docs I suppose)?

Do you have outfit ideas?? Capes or no capes? What flavor of superpowers are you going for? (everybody has one, freak accident, item that gives powers ala magical girl style, etc.). Are their identities going to be secret from one another or are they all going to be one big team from the get-go? Are they going to have codenames that aren't just "Legend" or "Time"? Is there going to be an overarching plot or is it more snippet-y? Are any items going to show up as supplements to their powers?

Anyways excited to see it. (Soory if that was a lot!)

Yep! I was actually waiting to answer this until I finished writing out that first bit about Legend & Wild meeting. I just got it posted to Ao3 this afternoon. All my works are set to only show to registered users right now because of the recent issues with AI and spam. However, I'm happy to post it here on Tumblr as well if anyone would like that.

I've also linked posts in which the vigilante AU is discussed. It's mostly my notes on characters for now, but that's where the bulk of the information is right now. Anything that's not written down yet is either still cooking, or I forgot.

Vigilante AU mentioned in DAILY BRAINROT 1st time

Vigilante AU mentioned in DAILY BRAINROT 2nd time

Vigilante AU mentioned in DAILY BRAINROT 3rd time

Vigilante AU mentioned in DAILY BRAINROT 4th time

There are a few superhero/vigilante AUs in the fandom already, but it is difficult to weed things out on Ao3 when the bulk of the AU tag is canon divergence. I actually have a list on hand, so I'll copy-paste the links in for you.

Fierce Hero 9 by @crazylittlejester

Linked Universe Incredibles AU by @skyward-floored

We Will Find You, Wherever You Are by Tessa_Reads

Empty Streets Full of Life by Owlface612

I have to admit that outfits are sort of my weakness. I'm not very good at coming up with ideas for clothes, and never have been, so I don't have solid ideas yet. But there will probably be no capes. Personally, I enjoy wearing capes, but I have to agree with Edna from The Incredibles on this one. It's just asking for an accident to happen. Warriors and Sky are going to have to figure something out for their scarf and sailcloth respectively, or leave them at home.

I'm trying to keep things down to 1 power per person for the sake of my sanity. (Four is the likely exception.) I haven't really thought about the origins of everyone's powers yet, beyond deciding not to include magic or aliens as a general rule of thumb. What I'll probably use is a combination of science experiments and genetics.

They're all separated in the beginning except for Sky, Twilight, and Warriors. They're roommates and know about each other's powers (although Sky is in denial about his own). The first person Wild meets is Legend, but doesn't meet him in his civilian attire until a little later. They live in different apartments in the same building. Wind and Hyrule both meet because the same underground group is trying to snatch them up. Time is something along the lines of Twilight's godfather/emergency contact, so they've known each other for a very long time. The rest is going to be a chain (pun intended) reaction like dominoes, I think.

I've been avoiding codenames because I haven't decided yet. I think it's going to be a mixed bag in the end, though. Wild's legal name is Link, but they don't really like it. Sky definitely goes by Sky as a civilian, but I have no idea why. It's just his name. I'll figure it out eventually.

For now, I'm just going to write whatever bits and pieces pop into my head and go from there. I don't have any specific plot lines or character arcs in mind, but there will probably be a little progression between general developments. I don't have an outline, and I'm not planning beyond collecting oneshots together in the same place.

Legend almost definitely has items because he's Legend. His power is also a milder enhancement that requires some degree of supplementation and creativity. Without any items, he has to focus on using parkour and martial arts like kickboxing to be effective, and he also can't take very heavy hits because he doesn't have any natural armor or resistance to blunt force. Item use is going to end up varying on account of who has access to what when and how much I can cram cool fantasy stuff into a science fiction setting.

I love answering questions about my projects and silly little stories, so if you've got any more questions about this AU or anything else I've been working on, feel free to drop them in my askbox. :) I don't often get this type of ask, so it was honestly a treat, and I've been looking forward to answering it all day.

[jessplaysgenshin]

Anonymous Question

Pairing: Gorou x gn!reader

Summary: Whenever he dropped by Inazuma City, Gorou always made sure to meet up with you, and ask for your help for asks he receives and how to answer them. Until one day, he received a specific question.

Warnings: Spoilers for his hangout event

"Oh, (y/n) !" The General called for you, his tail wagging behind him. He always looks so happy to meet up with you, it was heart warming. Though, you couldn't say that you weren't happy either. Quite the opposite, in fact. Lately, Gorou often came to you for assistance for something regarding readers, and questions, you didn't quite follow, but he was always giving his all when it came to giving advices, even if they were a bit clumsy and messy sometimes, but he was happy while doing most of the time, so you never thought much of it. It was interesting to see him think slightly differently than when he was the Ganaral of an army. Well, of an army during a war, as the peaceful times finally reached the land.

As per usual, the two of you made your way in a calm place, the one you always go when he needs your help. It was a real shame that the two of you don't spend more time hanging out than this. When you meet him in town, you'd usually treat him to a desert, or a snack since he's so weak for sweets. You did see him in Watatsumi Island once, though. He looked like such a fierce and strong General with his soldiers, it was impressively out of character compared to what you're used to see of him. But then again, he helped leading a war, so there was nothing that surprising, but it was still somewhat strange. "-hat do you think about it ?" You stared at Gorou after his voice snapped you out of your thoughts. After a while, he looked concerned. "Are you okay ?"

"Ah !" When did you get to your usual spot ? "I'm sorry, I was thinking of something. You were saying ?"

He kept that worried look, it broke your heart. He's usually smiling and cheerful, or he'll be serious and composed, but seeing with such an expression was breaking your heart. You've grown extremely found of him, to a point you started wondering if you weren't seeing something more in him, more than once. "Are you sure you're fine ?" You reassured him with a nod and a warm smile. He always smiled back at that, and it was something you wanted to protect. "Well, someone was asking about their special someone and what would be the best way to propose. Any ideas ?" A love request, huh. Must be nice. Being single had its advantage, but at the same time, dating someone gives you that feeling of belonging in someone's arms, and that was just such a swell thing to think about. Yeah. proposing on a scenery like the one in front of you... A light breeze on the beginning of the evening, the sun setting slightly, the sky becoming hues of pink and orange, a few skies here and there, and mostly, the face of the person you love so much. "(y-y/n) ? Do you... Need something ?" Once again, it was Gorou's voice that brought you back to reality.

"Oh ! Right, the proposal. It depends ? I would totally spoil them all day and do their favorite things, so it is at least in their top three days of their lives." Thinking back on it now... It is what you've been doing for a while. "Come to think of it, Gorou..." He was happily noting down your suggestion for review when you interrupted him. "I guess it is what I've been doing, huh ?" His face turned slightly red, making you smile. He was so very cute. "I mean, every time we see each other I just spoil you with sweets. Guess you have to be my groom, now." You shrugged. Of course, you were half serious. You really liked him, but he had better things to take care of than a partner. Strangely, you never got the reaction you expected of him. Instead of an amused face, you found yourself looking at the most flustered and embarrassed Gorou you've ever seen. His face was bright pink, his ears facing backwards, as he struggled to pronounce a single word. You wanted to hug him. You put your hand on his shoulder, which surprised him seeing how he flinched. "It's alright, I'm just joking. I enjoy having you around. That's all. I'm glad we're friends."

Friends.

Somehow, that statement made you both sad.

It had been a while since you took a walk around Inazuma, but on one day, there was a ruckus outisde Yae's publishing house. Out of curiosity, you decided to check it out. "Ms. Hina is going to end her responses, we want to meet her !!" Declared a fan. Miss Hina ? Who's that ? You've never heard of her. "She's the purest soul that answers to questions her audience has been asking, look !" The man handed you a book and pointed out 'Miss Hina's responses'. It sounded nice.

"Kinda like what Gorou does." You ignored the 'who ?' that was asked when you decided to properly read what was written. "No way..." There, sitting under the question 'I want to propose to my girlfriend... Any tips ?' was your suggestion. 'Make her feel special the whole day, like a true princess, and end it with a bang !' There's no way. Was Gorou this popular ? But Gorou isn't a.... Turns out, people saw him as a pretty accurate female version of him, it was very resembling, you had to give them that. An idea sprouted in your mind. "Excuse me, are those anonymous ?" The men kept on yelling several things, but what you did understand was yes, they were. This was perfect.

As much as you loved Gorou, teasing him was also a great thing. Of course, there were boundaries. No ear or tail touching, and no talking about sad stuff. These were the only rules. It's hard not getting tempted by the fluffy touch, though. You started wondering if they were really this sensitive or for some other secret reasons.

Gorou was a very kind and serious person, but he was mostly selfless. If you ever wanted to know about him, you'd have to ask. Well, this was half true. He was selfless, but sometimes he'd mention his life in the resistance, which was nice in a way, free Gorou lore, not even need to buy him out of his silence. Though, he didn't like talking about the bad times. Not that he didn't want to vent or rant, but rather, he didn't want to ruin the mood or remind others of the war, even if it was just to talk about life and stuff.

His answers were the perfect opportunity. If he wouldn't answer to your prayers, his natural need to help would. And so, you've started studying his answers. Not as much of the questions themselves, but rather what his thinking process would be. You've considered several time sending an entry yourself, but you didn't really have anything that needed help. Besides, he was busy enough as it is. Trips between Inazuma City and Watatsumi Island took at least a day or two, poor guy must be tired after such long trips. No wonder Miss Hina's fan are there only a day or two per month. You're even surprised they haven't figured out Gorou was their sweet sweet advisor. But you could hardly complain about that, at least you had Gorou to yourself whenever he visited, and you had fun hanging out !

Until you did send one question to him from the ask section, and grew more and more nervous every single day until he came back.

That day, as usual, he walked all around to find you, and when he did, he greeted you with a big smile, which you returned, your face definitely heating up a bit. You talked for a while, and settled at your usual spot to help him. Or rather, to have an honest answer to your question. You knew that he might take a bit to find a proper response, but it would be worth it in the end. Surely, you won't have to put him through too much. And, as usual, you gave him some bit of advice when he got stuck on one of them. You had fun, people were really glad he was around, or rather that Miss Hina was around, and so were you. Inazuma City was nice, especially during the evening, when the sun starts to set, letting the countless stars shine of their own lights later in the night. That time of the day was definitely one of your favorites, so you usually zoned out, enjoying the scenery and the feel of the last ray of sunshine on your skin. It was peaceful, and you just sat there, waiting. And when you ere done waiting for today, you turned to meet a flustered Gorou. Did you say something without realizing ? You simply shot a questioning look. "Ah ! N-no, it's just..." He hesitated. "There's that... Question. It's... Personal. I don't know what to do."

"Personal ?"

"Someone asked about... Me, I guess ? Well, it's definitely the nickname the others gave me when we were up again the Shogun."

You reached for the paper. "Gemme." He hesitantly obliged, and a nervous grin crept onto your face. How did you forget you wrote that ? 'There's that one person, a pointy-eared general of the resistance, I don't know how to ask him out ! How do you ask someone so serious out ?' Come to think of it, it was terrible. The worst question you could have asked, you weren't even slick or smooth. How long has he been processing that ? The sun was almost set by the time you were done enjoying life. "Answer as you always do."

"It's not that simple !"

"Gorou, you have to set your feelings aside and help them. Respond as you always do, neutral and objective. You give great advice."

Gorou took a deep breath. "You're right." He took some more deep breath in, calming down. "So... All I have to do is to tell them to go up to him and have a chat ?" You nodded. That sounded good. "Great. Thanks." He still looked flustered, no matter what he could say.

But you wondered if you could get a direct answer. "What about you ?"

"Hm ?"

"You're answering as the advisor, but what about you ? How would you respond if they ask you out ?"

"Ah... That..." His face still looked red. "I'd... I'd have to decline."

"Why's that ?"

"I... I'm interested in someone."

Ah. You decided to tease him a little, who knows, even if he's easily flustered, with how he reacted last time, maybe there's a small chance... You put on your best smug face. "Oho ? And who would that be ?" He turned to you, his face exploding in red. No way. "Gorou..." He looked away. "I could be mistaken but... Do you like me ?" He just hid his face in his hands. No way ! "Wait waitwaitwaitwait ! Really ?"

He whimpered, before snapping, still extremely red. "S-so what ! You've also been acting weird around me lately ! I could say the same of you !"

You stared at him. It was impressive how he could snap stuff like that sometimes. You let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, you really can." You heard him die inside. "I mean, I did say that I could propose to you if I continue to spoil you. I mean, it was a joke, but, I wouldn't complain."

"Isn't getting married way too fast ?!"

"Oh so you are fine with marrying me !"

"N-no ! Well, yes, but- no !"

Ah, how adorable. You warped him in a hug, he didn't dare to move. "I'm joking. I like you too. You're the only sweet I need." If seeing him flustered was something that you didn't get to see often, there was one thing you saw even less of : his tail wagging like crazy.

The two of you stayed like this for a while, enjoying each other's presence, until both of your hearts stopped beating like crazy. When you tried to pull away, though, he held onto your arm, making you commit to the hug a bit more. "Stay a little longer." It's not like you had a choice. He was way stronger than you. But at least now you have a sweet boyfriend to hold hands with and to feel at home with.

How much have you longed for that feeling of belonging to someone's side.

general good boy my beloved at least

short !

not the draft i wanted to work on, but i've been introducing a friend to my dear general and mentioned ms hina a bit too much and came upon several Ittorou comics of itto finding him out

was fun, so made my own twist.

fun fact: your forgot to tell him you're the one that asked that and he got teased by his men. you don't have the courage to tell him the truth, you'll take that secret to your grave.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2023.

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self-evaluation

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

as per usual that list is too long for this post so here's my 2023 fic roundup

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

far and away it has to be before i bury you purely because it was 1. SUCH an endeavor to begin with, and 2. so unbelievably different from anything i've written before. like, the criminal minds au was me dipping my toe into the pool of horror/suspense, and this fic was diving in headfirst. and i know it's not everyone's cup of tea (or most people's, tbh) but i've been so pleased with the reactions of those who have read it and i'm so, so thankful for it 💛 (honorable mentions to always have & i always will and a tender age, tho)

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

it's not that i'm not proud of it but a fic that's been hanging over my head all year is if the fates allow because god i hate that it's almost been a year since i updated it and I'VE BEEN TRYING to work on it but my brain just refuses to focus on it! i'm really hoping to finish it soon, though (and the gd pirate au too UGH).

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

man am i glad i did an ask meme like a week ago that asked this question so i can snag an answer from that rather than spending 3 hours combing through my fics lol

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

lmfao @cyraclove left this one on a snippet of the onlyfans au i sent her and it's my favorite thing ever

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

there's been a few instances of that over the last year but no specific events immediately come to mind. it seems to come and go in waves for me and all i can do is just ride it out and hope my inspiration comes back.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

ok like i swear to god i never thought i would write omegaverse and yet a tender age happened and it basically came pouring out of me and onto the page so like?? what the hell was that??? (also no i have not forgotten i promised a sequel, it's percolating i promise)

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i tried new genres!! i really enjoyed the writing process!! (even if it made me absolutely insane at times)

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i've said this a billion times before but i think next year i want to try writing original stuff alongside fic. idk if i'll finish a whole novel or what, but i'd at least like to start something.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

my friends 💛

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

not that i can think of but i did actually let my sister read some of my stuff and she told me that i have a lot of ust in my writing and (yes this is weird but she's my sister and i know she means well) that she wished i had an outlet for it irl so like. i guess that's something?

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i always say the same goddamn thing and today i saw a post that really encapsulated that so i'm just going to copy it here:

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

as per usual, so many. i've got a bunch half-started already that i haven't shared yet and i'm really hoping to be able to get them Mostly Finished before i start posting them, so keep your fingers crossed and an eye out 👀

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@cyraclove, @medusasfinalgirl, @staceymcgillicuddy (and anybody else who would like to do this, i'm tagging u)

[catt-nuevenor]

April

How do, folks!

Sorry for not posting on Friday, the day got away from me in the form of a grammar induced migraine, and although I did eventually manage to get back to the story, I wasn't in any fit state to be coherent on here once I'd finished work that day.

So, here we are in April. I'm not going to follow the previous format of daily word count updates this month, as I'm hopefully only going to be writing at that pace for half the month. Hopefully.

In the place of that, I'm going to try doing three to four posts a week on the following things;

Book reviews - Casual stuff, just updates on what I've been reading or listening to recently and my thoughts on it. I seem to be going through an awful lot of books at the second, especially in the horror thriller genre, and it's nice to keep a record of them and my thoughts as I go.

Asks - Don't start going all in for the complex self insert ones that require me to code things. Unfortunately, that takes at least a day per post, and I'm still trying to put the vast majority of my efforts towards the book. Mini asks about specific things or characters is absolutely fine, ones that could hypothetically be answered in a few paragraphs would be fantastic.

Research Rambles - Because despite the insanity of research at this stage of the project, I am still regularly wrangling with primary sources, antiquated historians, and tangling myself up in all sorts of grammar headaches. And misery loves company.

Publishing Stuff - Basically keeping you all informed about the broad strokes of what is happening on a publishing pipeline front, so long as that sounds interesting to folks?

Your suggestions - Seriously, if there's something you would like to see pop up on the blog while I'm hacking through the closing stages of this thing, let me know. I reserve the right to say no, of course, but I'd really like to interact more with you all. At the second, it's quite quiet on that front round here.

To close, I hope everyone's Monday is/has been bearable, and if not, I hope it takes the hint and gets on its merry way with all haste.

[madaboutmunson]

Again - Part 24 - The End

Part 1 | Part 23 | Full list of Again series links inc AO3 Link

Steddie fic where Steve and Eddie are in their mid 30's and everyone has sort of drifted apart

Notes: We made it! All the way to the end. A big thank you to everyone that makes it this far. I know there are thousands of other fics you could be reading, and I am honored you take the time out to read mine. This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I'm gonna miss writing these versions of the characters. I hope youve enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it and reading your thoughts on it :)

Taglist: @adaed5 @grtwdsmwhr @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep, @jewellthebooknerd, @fentiibratzz @rvllybllply2014

================================================

The next few weeks, they fall into a happy routine. Every day starts with a breakfast tray with two oat shakes and half of Steve’s meds. Eddie hated it at first, but the novelty of toppings made him grow to love them.

Depending on the day, Eddie either goes through the exercise routine with Steve or if he has to go to work, Wayne coaches him through it, occasionally taking part himself. 

Then Steve checks in with the builders to see how Wayne’s mini ranch house is coming along further out on the land. Wayne never complains if anything is wrong or not to his original requests, but Steve has been busy deciphering the eyebrow and sigh slash grumble code with Eddie’s expert knowledge, and he’s almost got it down to a fine art.

The kids were to stay at Jenny and Val’s for a few more weeks, but Steve called them every day once they were home from school. 

Their evenings always end the same way. Wayne bids them goodnight and goes back to the RV, then Eddie and Steve build their living room fort together, and Steve got the front seat tonight. So that means Eddie has TV control. He selects a music DVD and talks through the meanings behind the songs or some random factoids that Steve probably wouldn’t remember. Still, he could watch Eddie talk enthusiastically about mostly anything. The way his eyes widen and sparkle, they either stare intensely at the screen or Steve, his one hand always at Steve's chest, the other wildly gesticulating around. Maybe a cushion falls victim to it on occasion.

“You got any plans tomorrow, babe?” Eddie asks happily.

“Other than beating my exercise personal bests and kissing you….hmmm….nope,” Steve answers.

“Awww, Steve, do you have a lil’ crush on me?” Eddie jokes, fluttering his eyelashes and grabbing one of Steve’s hands in each of his own.

“I guess you could say that. I think you’re alright, you know? Kinda cute. Tolerable,” Steve teases and is immediately jostled from side to side by Eddie's knees.

“Kinda cute? Tolerable? Ooof, am I losing my charm? Do I need to revert to my nerdy ways and grow my hair out?” Eddie pretends to be devastated and flops forward on Steve’s shoulder in mock defeat.

“I love you, you stupid ass.” Steve laughs, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and snuggling backwards into him more.

"You sure about that? Like one hundred per cent, sure? No take backsies? If destroyed still true forever?" Eddie mutters softly as he nuzzles against his cheek and ear. Steve turns slightly to look into his eyes.

"Yes." Steve answers with a gentle smile of adoration, "Of course. Without a shadow of a doubt. To the end of the universe and back. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, twenty-four hours a day. I absolutely, one hundred per cent adore you. I love you." Steve kisses him softly to seal his declaration, and this is where Eddie normally bundles him up in his arms somehow, and they kiss and melt into one another for hours until it's time to sleep. 

But not tonight.

Tonight Eddie gets up and changes the DVD he puts on The Breakfast Club. Steve admires his tattooed topless form as he moves. He looks stronger still these days. Steve wonders if that is to do with Eddie falling into his exercise and eating regime. His jeans still slouch a little around his tiny waist, which Steve has also noted has developed a slight squidginess of content. Eddie complains about it, but Steve loves it. It means he's happy here. Eddie returns and sits back behind Steve as the film starts.

"It's good, you know," Eddie says happily as he reaches for his hands again, leans forward and wraps both sets of their arms around Steve again.

"What is? the movie?" Steve asks, a little confused.

Eddie laughs, "Well, like, everything, but specifically that you love me so much."

"Eddie, did you eat some special brownies today? You're talking in riddles. I love you every day. You love me every day. Why is it any different tonight?"

"Because otherwise, this would be silly of me" Their joined hands that had been draped around him go to Eddie's jeans pocket, and Steve can feel something gripped in their joined fingers, and it's lifted in front of his eyes a black box. Eddie's thumb flicks open the lid, and inside are two silver rings. 

At first glance, they look like two plain silver bands, which is beautiful enough, but as Eddie twists the box for him, he begins to see their hammered texture. Steve uses his hand to lift the box when he notices the same word engraved on the inside of each "Aeternum".

"Hey, calm down, love. I don't want heart-monitor-Max’s spidey sense setting off wherever she is, bursting in here and kicking my ass," Eddie says with a smile in his voice, tapping their joined hands against the centre of Steve's chest delicately. Steve is so surprised he hasn't realised his heart rate has picked up, but he feels the deep thuds now. He feels Eddie's chest rise and fall against his back, and he attempts to match it to calm himself. "Don't worry. This isn't my proposal. You know, I'd never do something like that as quietly as this. This is…uh…a just-the-facts ring" Eddie lets out a soft laugh next to Steve's ear. 

Steve wishes it was just the surprise making his heart pound, but it wasn't. It was fear. He's afraid he doesn't deserve this, not after what he did. "You're awful quiet with your words there, sweetheart," Eddie says with a hint of worry, and Steve shuts his eyes for a moment. Trying to compose himself.

"After what I did?" Steve asks, afraid to use too many words in case he ruins everything with another tearful display.

"Steve, please, not tonight," Eddie pleads glumly."We're done with all that. We're doing all the things we need to."

Steve deflates in Eddie's arms momentarily, "I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm trying."

Eddie clears his throat. "Well, technically, I got these before any of that happened. So, uh, I wanted to give you this before and after." Steve can hear the smile in his voice, and it's causing a twisted pain in him. He knows Eddie means well and wants to play pretend like it hadn't happened. Steve remembers Eddie sitting opposite him in the kitchen, how he told him he didn't deserve Steve's love, and if this was what he felt like at the time, Steve regrets not being more patient, but Eddie had tried for Steve, and so he must do the same now.

"Why didn't you get ones like your other rings?" Steve asks, and he feels Eddie snuggle up to him a little more, happy for his effort.

"I wanted something special. I wanted them to be like us. A mixture of moments of perfection and imperfection, but it's glaringly obvious they belong together," Eddie says with a hint of excitement. Steve untangles their fingers on both hands, leaving Eddie holding the box in his eye line, and finds the one finger of Eddie's that has no ring adorning it. 

Steve carefully takes a ring out of the box and slides the ring onto Eddie's finger, then kisses the back of his hand. As he reaches for the other ring, Eddie softly bumps his fingers out of the way, takes Steve's hand in his, and puts the ring on for him. He kisses the back of Steve's hand and then his temple, "I'll love you for all eternity," Eddie whispers as he casts aside the box, weaves their fingers back together, and moves their hands back where they were.

"And I, you," Steve replies softly, unable to take his eyes off him. He amazed him. How could something that made so much sense right now have at one time seemed entirely impossible? At one time, he thought there was no way Eddie could love him back, and yet here they are wrapped up together, shacked up together, making promises until the end of time together, "So much, honey." He pauses, taking a few breaths, "I'm sorry, Eddie."

"How many times, Steve! Stop saying sorry." Eddie kisses him as if to swallow up his unwanted apologies.

"Oh, I'm not apologising for that," Steve says, getting to his feet and hoisting Eddie up with him, who looks puzzled but smiles all the same, especially when he finds himself wrapped up in Steve's arms, being gently swayed to some non-existent music, as Steve's gentle eyes gaze sleepily into his.

"No? Then what are you apologising for?" Eddie inquires. Though his voice is soft, his words trail away, completely distracted by what is happening between them.

"Because I'm impatient, honey, and because if I love you any more, I'm certain my heart would explode," Steve's eyes swim with fondness as they trail over Eddie's features, as he tilts his head to the side in adorable confusion, "Eddie?" Steve says softly.

"Yeah?" Eddie mutters as he leans against his love, their bodies pressed together so no glimmer of light can get between them.

"Eddie Munson. That's a nice name. You like it?" Steve asks softly, his mouth barely an inch for Eddie's. Their eyes have yet to glance away from one another.

Eddie laughs softly, "I don't mind it, I guess. You like yours, Steve Harrington?"

"I guess," Steve replies dreamily, a smile creeping over his face, "Edward Munson?" Steve asks again, making Eddie's smile stretch into a grin and giggle.

"Yes, Steven Harrington," he says, looking a little confused but happy regardless. Steve readjusts his arms so one wraps around Eddie's back, pulling him in close, and the other reaches up to cradle the back of his neck.

"Will you marry me?" Steve asks in a whisper. Even with knowing how deeply Eddie adores him, it is still a genuine question. Eddie's eyes sparkle as they well up, but they crease at the corners as his smile widens and he nods his head a few times.

"Yeah." Eddie answers, his voice cracking, "Yeah, I think I will." He beams and kisses Steve tenderly. Eddie tucks some of Steve's hair behind his ear as they part, "I love this for us, baby, but you know I can't let this be it, though, right?"

"I know." Steve smiles with understanding.

Over the next few weeks, it was a competition of who could propose to who in the grandest way, and each time they'd pretend to be nervous, even though they already knew the answer.

Eddie calls up a national radio station and gets them to prank Steve with a competition win just so he can propose to him live on air.

Steve hires a skywriter to propose to Eddie when he brings him his lunch at work.

Eddie interrupts a parent-teacher meeting and proposes to Steve playing his BC Rich Warlock through a portable amp, singing "Will you marry me?" to the tune of We Will Rock You. He even gets everyone else in the room to do the stomps and claps.

Steve buys a page in Rolling Stone magazine to propose to Eddie.

Eddie proposes right at the end of an elaborate scavenger hunt they put on after a massive party that everyone is invited to at their house. Steve declares him the winner after that one. Eddie claims his super secret prize when everyone else has gone home later that night.

With same-sex marriage still not legal in the state, they decided there was little point organising anything, but as far as they, their loved ones and anyone bothered enough to ask knew, They were as good as married, and they never referred to one another in conversation as anything less than Husband. If either of them got a hint that it bothered anyone they were talking to, they just talked about their husband more.

***************************************************************

Their first Halloween together is a full-blown production. With a blank cheque at his disposal, Eddie goes hog wild with the kids, making the whole place into a house of horrors. Eddie told everyone to keep it on the cartoony side of things and expressly forbade any jump scares or smoke machines in the house. He said it was tacky, and everyone did that. He didn't want their house to be the same as the next. But Steve knew he'd done it for him so he could enjoy everything without fear of flashbacks. Eddie even hooked up his guitar to play the theme tunes of the trick-or-treater's costumes. Steve dressed as Dr Van Helsing, and Eddie as the infamous Count Dracula. Morgan and Mackenzie opt for Princess Fiona and Shrek (sporting his prize-winning pie rosette), and after much aggressive and whiny persuasion from Corey, Wayne agrees to Agent Smith from The Matrix to complement his Neo outfit. 

That night Steve mainly watches. He converses with other parents from the neighbourhood about school topics, but his eyes fall back to the same thing. Eddie. But a specific Eddie. An Eddie with his heart full of unbridled joy. Whether he was running around chasing after kids Corey's age with his fake plastic fangs bared, regaling a group of teens around a small fire pit with a story so terrifying an occasional audible squeal would ring out, or handing out the gift bags of full-size treats and toys with the hugest toothy smile on his face. But what absolutely kills Steve is the little witch, crying her eyes out in the middle of the lawn. 

She must be around two or three, Steve guesses, clinging onto a little bucket full of candy, but she's looking around like she's lost something. She tugs on the back of Eddie's cape, and as he turns, he kneels. She takes a step back in fright. He takes out his fangs and shows her he is nothing to fear. He even wipes a finger across his makeup, showing her it's all pretend. She mimics him swiping her on her own finger across his face, and Eddie smiles gently at her, listening and nodding intently as the little girl talks. He asks her something, she nods, and he hoists her up onto his hip, cradling her to his side, and pointing and turning around, constantly checking in with her, making her giggle as she twists the curled ends of his hair in her fingers until a flustered woman runs up and thanks Eddie profusely. He just shrugs, waves them goodbye and pops his teeth back in.

"Everythin' ok, Sunny?" Wayne's deep drawl breaks Steve's focus.

"Yeah, just I dunno." Steve looks at the ground. His voice is a little sad, "Doesn't seem fair." he sighs, looking back at Eddie. Wayne's eyes follow his line of sight, and his mouth parts slightly, maybe in surprise. Perhaps his own sadness presents itself silently this way because Wayne doesn't have the right words for a change, "I just think he would have been great at it."

There is a beat of silence, "You asked him?"

Steve shakes his head, "No. Wanted to a bunch of times. Just can never quite figure out how." Wayne hums in understanding and pats Steve on the back, leaving him to look longingly at his husband as he thumbs at the only ring on his fingers. Eddie senses him as always, turns and gives him a gigantic grin, gesturing at the festivities around him, before blowing Steve a kiss, which he catches out of the air and puts in his pocket, making Eddie roll his eyes and laugh, before heading back to the next lot of trick or treaters.

***************************************************************

A month later, the house's energy is at a fever pitch. Tonight Steve had taken Eddie out. First, to the local premiere of The Fellowship of the Ring so that Eddie could watch it with a room full of people, but then surprises him when he asks if he wants to stay behind and watch it one more time, just the two of them. Of course, Eddie nearly spontaneously combusted on the spot, having no idea Steve had arranged a second surprise viewing for him. Steve doesn't think he'll ever forget how happy Eddie looked in that moment or how many times he'd clench his fists with excitement and then turn and kiss Steve, babbling happily about something he didn't quite catch the first time around. 

He was so easy to fall for. Steve could do that every day over and over. Like breathing. Like he was built to do this. To love Eddie. Forever.

Steve doesn't usually make it through a standard-length film, let alone one of this length. Twice. Not without yawning or nearly falling asleep. But the second time around, he only partially watches the screen. Most of the time, he's watching his own blockbuster, a cast of one, Eddie. He watched his eyes with wrinkles at the corners, full to the brim with childlike wonder. Tapping Steve's hand when something comes up that is slightly different in the book, whispering the secret information to him. Even after it's over, Eddie is still full of energy, gushing about how things on screen were like they fell out of his mind, and that's when he sees it. Amid the chill winter wind, a family is dressed up like some of the characters in the movie. A wizard, an elf and held by both of them in the middle, as someone snaps a picture is a baby in a waistcoat and trousers, curls falling around their face, and for the first time tonight, Eddie's smile falls for a second, as he looks over at them, but as soon as he turns to Steve the smile is back again. He twists his ring around his finger, feeling over its texture.

Tonight, Steve was going to ask him.

***************************************************************

Steve turns over and opens his eyes. His bed covers have long since been thrown off in the heat. He runs his hand over the empty bed beside him, sighs, rolls over to stare at the ceiling, and checks the time. It's just gone three in the morning. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, steps into his slippers, decides it's much too hot to put on his robe, and picks up his water. He quietly pads downstairs, walks into a kitchen strewn with bottles, adds his water bottle to the mix, and smiles. He tip-toes to the lounge. The lights are set to their lowest dim, and he can hear a faint voice. He moves closer towards it, staying as silent as he possibly can. Steve's eyes find their target in the low light, Eddie’s topless form pacing around the living room, still softly muttering. He is oblivious to his presence, focusing on something else entirely. Unfortunately, Steve is so entranced by the scene he accidentally bumps into an end table, sending a plush bat rattling to the floor.

Eddie turns to him, whispering, "Not a ninja, Sweetheart". With his cover blown, Steve freely approaches, sweetly scoops in behind him, arms around his waist as he gently nuzzles into the side of his hair, but Eddie's hands don't find his. 

"You gonna be much longer? Need anything?" Steve quietly asks next to his ear.

"Nah, I'm good, babe. Just had to find the right song. Seems to have settled things down." Eddie yawns, and Steve looks at his tired but unmistakably happy face. For a second, his eyes look up into Steve's, "Didn't think I'd ever be here, babe. I know things are a little different these days, but I love you just as much," he chuckles and looks down, "Even more some days, you know that, right?"

"Of course," Steve says, leaning over Eddie's shoulder to look down too. In his arms, a beautiful baby girl, a short set of dark ringlet curls adorn her head, her sweet round cheeks rosy from the heat, her long eyelashes rest on her skin as she slumbers sweetly against Eddie's chest, "I'll just bide my time and make her life hell when she's old enough to want to sleep in." Steve jokes and presses a soft sleepy kiss to Eddie's cheek, "What song was it tonight?"

"Through the Never," Eddie beams at Eowyn, "Are you collecting these songs or something?" 

"Right now, she's stealing your sleep and my time with you, which I don't blame her for, but that doesn't mean when she hits, I dunno, thirteen and sleep becomes precious to her that her old Dads aren't gonna wake her up blaring a mix CD of all the songs that stole their own." Steve smiles.

"Wow, what happened to sweet old dad Steve?" Eddie jokes.

"I'm still as sweet as ever," Steve kisses Eddie's shoulder, "I'm just trying to arm myself. Wayne's been telling me all about what a cakewalk you were when you hit puberty," he says sarcastically. "And also…" Steve plants a trail of kisses along Eddie's shoulder and up his neck to his ear, "It's pretty lonely up there for sweet old dad Steve, you know?" He whispers playfully, squeezing Eddie's hips gently. "What do you say l go wash up the bottles, prep the next one, and tidy up here? You can get this little one back in her own very expensive custom-made upcycled Fender guitar cot that her Daddy absolutely had to have, and then you can get your sweet self back in ours, huh?" Steve pecks a kiss on his cheek, "And then I'm gonna slide in next to you, and we're gonna pass out on one another with exhaustion until her Royal Highness calls for us again."

"My god, Steve. You say the sexiest, most accurate things." Eddie laughs and kisses him on the cheek, "I love you."

"Love you too, honey." 

***************************************************************

The house is chaos.

"Well, WHERE THE HELL IS IT???" Eddie screeches, jogging from room to room before he's stopped abruptly by the sudden appearance of the twins in the doorway.

"Daddy, which one of us do you think is taller?" Ozzy asks, scrunching up his freckled nose.

"Neither of you. You're the same height!" He pauses to look, "Almost exactly, in fact, now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a vital ancient artefact to find."

"Can we help? We're good at finding things!" Ronnie looks up at him with his wide hazel eyes. Eddie eyes them suspiciously, crouches down and ruffles their hair.

"No, what I really need you to do is get your hats and sunglasses and the things you want to play with in the RV. Then use the bathroom and line up next to the door. Maybe help Beans get her things together, too,' Kay?" He smiles, gets back to his feet, and runs to the foot of the stairs, almost going flying over a suitcase that slides into his path, but he hurdles it at the last moment.

"Almost, Damn it!" Is a whispered voice, "Sorry, Eddie!" Corey calls out much louder with a slight laugh.

"You gotta be quicker than that, buddy. Line up in ten Cor’,'" Eddie says, shaking his head and laughing, before reaching the foot of the stairs and yelling up them through cupped hands, "Wyn, Morgan and Zee, line up in…nine minutes, and if you see my old iPod bring that with you, please!" He drops his hands, "Nearly there." He whispers to himself.

The front door swings open and in bursts, a Bermuda-shorted, Hawaiian-shirted, wayfarer-sporting Steve. "RV check all done, full tank of gas, road snacks stocked, we're good to go!" He grins.

"And the map?" Eddie looks at him wide-eyed.

"What map?" Steve tilts his head, and just before Mount Eddie erupts, he pulls it from his back pocket and wiggles it at him, "All ready for your plotting, my love. Oh, Jenny, Val, and Mariella are gonna meet us at the first scheduled stop, so if you find something before that, drop them a message way in advance. Jen is already gonna be sweltering in his heat in the third trimester, so please, no last-minute changes because otherwise, she might lose it entirely."

Eddie's tense shoulders drop, and he takes a minute to rush over, fling his arms around him for a kiss, and mutters into his collar, "This place is hell, babe. Full chaotic evil!"

"Wanna switch for a bit?" Steve offers, rubbing his hands over Eddie's back.

"I wanna say yes, but too much has happened in the thirty minutes you were gone, and I'm not sure I have the energy or time to go over the new storylines, babe," Eddie pouts.

"How about this? You sit here." Steve pulls a chair to the front door and guides him to it, "You supervise. Ok? That way, you get to take a breath and make sure I don't miss anything at the same time?" Eddie nods sweetly.

Steve picks up his megaphone from the doorway, and Eddie covers his ears, ready for the inevitable feedback when Steve switches it on, "Kids, cases, journey items at the door in…" he releases the button and looks at Eddie who checks his watch and holds up four fingers. Steve presses the button again and bellows through it. "Four minutes! Don't forget chargers, and to use the bathroom, we won't be making a stop for…" he turns to Eddie, who holds up two fingers, "Two hours. And may I remind you all that Uncle Dustin and Aunt Erica will eat all the ice cream if they get there before us. Uncle Jonathan wants to take a big group photo this year, so please make sure you have something suitable for that. I mean it, Corey! One non-heavy metal or unoffensive t-shirt wouldn't kill you." He clicks off the megaphone again, turns to Eddie excitedly grinning from ear to ear, and starts singing and dancing to his rendition of Madonna's Holiday.

Eddie smiles and shakes his head with a chuckle, "Why do we do this to ourselves every year?"

"Ah, I know this one…Because we love our friends and family?" Steve says with a grin, which immediately drops from his face into panic, and Eddie is out of his chair.

"Oh, what, Steve?! What is it? Dear gods, just one year where we leave on time," Eddie says, hands in his hair.

Steve looks horrified, "I um…I think…I kinda…yeah…I forgot Wayne at the gas station."

Eddie's eyes widen, "How did you even do that, Steve?!" He gasps frantically, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"He's just so quiet sometimes! I didn't mean to leave him. I was thinking about all the other hundred things I needed to check, honey!" Steve complains.

"You lost a full-grown man, babe. This is a new low for you." Eddie says, pacing as he holds the phone up to his ear.

The All along the Watchtower ringtone is coming from somewhere nearby, and they both frantically look around for it before Wayne's head appears around the door frame, "Bumped into Ms Monterello, she gave me a ride back, Sunny." He chuckles deeply, and Steve practically throws his arms around him.

"Oh, you've saved my bacon there, Pops" Steve smiles with relief, patting Wayne on the back.

Morgan and Zee appear at the door first, as always, "Do we have to do this every year?" Morgan complains with his much deeper voice, Zee hanging off his arm.

"Yeah, yeah, we do, actually, Mister fancy college pants, we do. Steve here has already lost a whole human, and we watch Home Alone every Christmas as a warning. This is why we do the lineup."

The kids fall in line, the count is correct, the humongous RV gets packed with people and luggage, and Morgan and Zee get in her car with the excess and Beans.

Steve does the final lock checks around the house with Eddie, and finally, they get into the front seats. Eddie opens the map in front of him, his little packet of different colour stars and flag stickers resting gently on top.

"Ok, guys, who got first dibs?" Eddie shouts, not looking up from his map but raising a hand with one finger extended upwards to retrieve the incoming CD from Corey. Eddie looks at it, "Ohhh, a classic from Cyborg. Nice!" And places it into the stereo.

"Everyone buckled in?" Steve shouts back and receives a chorus of Yeses. He picks up the walkie-talkie and presses the button, "Caboose! You all buckled up, tunes at the ready? Over."

"Yes! Let's go already!" Zee's impatient voice crackles out of the speaker.

“You didn’t say over. Over.” Steve says, confused.

“Dad, I swear….” there is a little whispering which Steve smugly knows is Morgan encouraging her to get on board, “Yes, we’re ready to go. Over!”

"Alright then, let's do this!" Steve says way too enthusiastically for the slow, gradual speed this great hulking vehicle leaves the driveway at.

Despite how crazy it is to organise and how far they have to drive to find a midpoint in the country to meet up with all their old friends from Hawkins that were now spread all over. Steve's heart is packed to the brim. He reaches one hand out to Eddie, who gives him his pinky finger as the rest of his hand is busy with stickers, as the heavy metal screams throughout the RV. He sighs happily to himself.

So yeah, Steve still loved being a Dad, but he also loved being a husband, an easy-going ex-husband, a best friend, a son-in-law, a future father-in-law, and a godfather. But more than anything, he loved the people around him that made him all those things.

[alister312]

#3 for the sp ask game?

ask game can be found here :)

3. What’s a fan creation (fic, art, meta, animatic, etc.) that you love and think others should see?

Ok I totally remember answering this back when I first made this ask game and my answer was HELLA long but this time around I'm gonna try and actually narrow it down to one thing per category of sorts. Especially bc if I let myself I'd just link every single one of my mutual's tumblrs and ao3s and whatnot bc I am enamored with everything they all create 🥰

First, I love this animatic of "my band" reimagined with the boys as their Fingerbang selves. It's got a ton of good movement and character moments and is just such a fun watch.

I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand more times but tullie's fic like a couple of cosmonauts is INCREDIBLE and I'm putting it on everyone's required reading list. There is clearly so much love and thought in it and until Matt and Trey tell me otherwise I'm gonna think of it as canon.

tiff's website he made full of all this old school art and watch links and the music embedded and the cursor and literally EVERYTHING is so fucking cool????? While it only works on desktop, I highly encourage people to go click around it for at least a few minutes.

This junk angel Kenny art by xnowherex has been on my mind for YEARS like since I first saw it circa 2014/15 or whatever. It's such a quintessential image for me. Foundation to how I view everything else in the South Park fandom, honestly.

And lastly I don't think it ever got posted publicly, but the meta that sekrit wrote for the Style zine last year? God, that was incredible. Very well done in terms of analysis and really just made me conscious of all that's come before me in fandom and all that will come after me. It was the perfect ender for the zine, Buny and Sneeze chose the placement well. That zine in general was full of awesome stuff and I think it's free to download at this point so anyone who hasn't seen it should look through it.

[binarystargames]

Thinking about (a very broad definition of) quarterbacking, especially as it relates to TTRPGs (part 1)

This is going to be a bit meandering and I'm not going to have answers at the end of this post because it's already too fucking long. Bear with me.

Disclaimer/preface: I'm mostly spitballing based on my own experiences as someone who has both seen and done this. I'm sure there are better terms for what I'm saying and that I'm probably reinventing the wheel. I'm fine with that. I know about the killer/explorer/socializer/roleplayer model for multiplayer games already, it's useful and there's definitely an intersection point on a venn diagram of where it interacts with this but it doesn't 100% map to where I'm going with this.

As I mentioned at the end of my post on diceless ideas for APOCALYPSE FRAME, I like the idea of resource-management-based rather than randomness-based methods for tactics games, but I am slightly worried that it would increase the prevalence of quarterbacking.

Typically the definition used for this in this context is: in a setting where everyone is on the same team, one person (the "quarterback") tells everyone else in the group what to do. I'm expanding that definition here into generalized situations where people are telling seemingly-equal peers what to do during a game or even to some degree when people feel pressured/coerced into taking certain kinds of game actions. I like to think of this on two levels:

Strategic. The kind of decision that's made at a high level, usually before anything that actually happens takes place. Quarterbacking here takes the place like someone having to pick a specific class or character or role. If you've ever picked the party cleric because nobody else wanted to be a healer, even if nobody told you to or even suggested it, that's what I mean. The more defined player roles are and the more essential they all are, the more this comes up, but it can also be reflected in things like equipment loadouts.

Tactical. The kind of decision that's made at a per-action, per-encounter, etc level. "Go over here", "do this", "cover X other player", "spend this level of resources but no more", etc. The more important a given action or resource expenditure is, the more this comes up.

Tactical is mostly what I'll get into because that gets to what made me think about this, though I'll probably get back to Strategic later a bit in part 2 because I have a few thoughts there.

Where does this show up?

As much as I'd love to say sports, in seeking a useful definition, I've actually defined it here in such a way that kind of crowds them out: in American football, for instance, it's not intended to be an equal team of people making play decisions: roles are predefined, a play is passed down from a coach to the quarterback to players, and it's up to them to stick to the spirit of the play while interpreting the best course of action along the way. In the context of non-sports, you can see it a lot in video games, board games, and RPGs.

Online games are a big one that comes to mind. There can be a lot of coordination involved and if you're in a group of randos you will inevitably run into someone who decides to tell everyone else what to do. They'll probably start being real shitheads if you ignore them too! Co-op board and card games have this too (I'll get into this more below). And of course, TTRPGs, that's what brought me to the dance after all and got my brain spilling all over the page about it.

Is this actually a problem?

Maybe! It depends! It's a really broad thing I'm outlining here so it's hard to answer.

I think it's a function of expectation going into it. For a lot of groups maybe this is how they like to do things: the strategy person gives out marching orders and everyone else goes along with it, everyone decides party composition ahead of time, etc. If one person is just not as good at using the tools at hand, they might ask for suggestions and that's good! If someone's obviously floundering, suggesting a way out of it is probably also good as long as they're cool with it.

I'm going to use the cases of TTRPGs especially for cases where I think it can be a problem because I reckon there's a few kinds of expression going on that can be at odds. I'm going to make some terms up so bear with me, I'm sure someone way smarter has come up with a better distinction but this is how I'm thinking about it:

Game state expression. This is the "trying to win/lose" or "trying to solve the puzzle" layer. This is where quarterbacking makes the most sense! If you're coordinating to win then coming up with a strategy together, maybe with someone setting it all out, can definitely make perfect sense.

Narrative expression. When you think about an action scene or a fight, usually there's one of two things happening. One, there's a major plot point that's getting resolved by it. This is where you get like "boss fights" and "setpieces". Two, and this is more common, they're pretty low-stakes but are used as a way to show off how characters prefer to do things. Does a vulnerable character keep distance or put themselves at risk? Does a bruiser character pick targets to keep friends safe, to take down easy pickings, or to go for the biggest thing they can see? Do defensive characters mostly keep themselves alive or protect others? This is where I think TTRPGs can really shine. Sub-optimal play isn't strictly necessary for this, but situationally, it can be a way to express this. Quarterbacking often steps on those impulses, but not always: maybe characters are willing to put their personal ways of doing things aside for the greater goal, and that can be narrative development too! But I suspect that's not going to be the response every time.

Personal expression. Sometimes people don't like to do a certain kind of thing, you know? Maybe someone doesn't like their characters having less than half health even if it's like, fine. Maybe someone never wants to spend more than half of their resources "just in case" even when that makes no sense. Maybe someone always goes full auto instead of using bursts because it feels better. Maybe someone only prepares AOE attacks instead of individual-target ones. But it sure would be better for everyone else if they did things that made more sense! This is the one that quarterbacking can really clash with because it's often strictly suboptimal behavior.

I suspect you're going to see quarterbacking be more accepted and less of a problem in video/board/card game scenarios because Win The Game is a lot more emphasized in those, so there's more acceptance of taking some direction from others in order to succeed because that's why we're here. Personal expression still crops up for sure, but aside from like roleplay servers or the more nebulous early phases of an MMO - Dan Olson's example of a WoW player who always stays shoeless and always walks outside of combat and eventually draws the ire of their guild is a great example of that transition, for example - I don't think there's honestly too-too much in the way of narrative expression for multiplayer video games. Your "verbs" and goals are necessarily much more actively restricted too, which furthers this - no matter how you feel about your character or whatever, at the end of the day, W or L is in many cases the thing the game expresses, so that's what folks will aim for. (Some games are, of course, better at this than others.)

Now, this is not to say that I'm drawing a "rollplay vs roleplay" distinction. I would really hope we're several decades beyond that. (I know we're not actually but I like to be optimistic.) What I'm saying is that in a given situation, someone playing the game is going to have several motivations pulling them in different directions, and in a lot of cases any of these can lead to folks telling other people what to do or feeling like they have to do something they don't want to. I mostly think this is a game state vs. other motivations thing but it can definitely happen from narrative or personal angles too: if someone has ever told you that your character probably wouldn't do something, for example, there it is!

Why does turn-based make this more of a thing?

There will almost certainly end up being "correct" decisions, and when there are "correct" decisions, there will always be a frustration in some players when others aren't making them. You can correlate this extremely strongly with the margin for error for victory/etc narrowing: as soon as there's a perception that a binary win/loss is at stake, people will start to do this more. And the longer a game lasts, the more likely this is. The idea of playing a co-op game for 4 hours and losing kind of sucks - much less a campaign that lasts a year and is on the brink of ending in a TPK or whatever!

For turn-based games, you have much more of an opportunity to draw out a turn and figure out the exact optimal thing, and do an "are you sure" or "please do this instead" when someone says the "wrong" thing. In contrast, for a video game that's real-time (and especially one that's remote!) you don't really have a chance to second-guess anyone's course of action, they're just going to do what they're going to do and you can either scream obscenities at them for it or not. Depending on the game, they may not even be able to hear it!

Why does removing randomness also make this more of a thing?

Let's imagine a three-person combo: Person A sets something up with one ability, Person B primes it in some key way with another, Person C finishes it off with a third that ends up as something far greater than the original. Great! This is what co-op tactics games are made of! It's cool when people contribute. We love to see it.

If this works every time, if all of them can be guaranteed to be able to happen, then setting things like this up is the play, no question. If you're Person B, you're guaranteed to be decreasing the value of your actions by doing something that isn't bridging that gap between A and C unless there's a situational reason not to do that. If you can't guarantee any part of that combo happens/will work, though, the value of being able to set those combos up decreases or they'll be much shorter/more conditional to account for it.

This isn't to say it's useless when there's more uncertainty, but there's way more latitude for not sticking to the plan when things have an increasing number of ways they can go off track.

Can't we just solve this by talking it out.

Yes. I feel the need to emphasize this, yes. I've done it in the past. You can always talk to a group of friendly folks to fix almost anything. It's always correct and valid to just talk to people if there's an issue if that's an option. Talk to your friends.

Now that that's out of the way, I think it's a bit of a thought-terminating cliche. Of course you can just ask your friends to knock it off...but that assumes you're playing with friends, and often if you're playing with someone you aren't that comfortable with it's way harder to do - doubly so if that's how they've always played and they're not sure what they're doing wrong. And especially if you're time-limited, like at a con game! "Suddenly become an extrovert" and/or "figure out how to confront people you don't know" is a little beyond the scope of this topic, and if you can teach people how to do that, write a book about it or something.

Ideally I'd like to design and run games so it doesn't feel like it needs to get to that point as often or as quickly. For instance, a game that's wildly poorly designed and unbalanced requires a lot more pulling punches and intentional spotlighting to keep things even-keeled than one that isn't, you know? For traditional GM-centric games it puts a lot of work on them, and even for more distributed-role games it adds a ton of work that doesn't have to be there and expends a lot of energy that could go elsewhere. As such I think there's value in figuring out design and play tools to help myself and others with this (and luckily, there are neat examples to pull from).

Next time.