#iM ALMOST DONE WITH EVERYTHING ON THIS BLOG GOD BLESS

[sadagnostic]

I literally have no following but I will use this blog as a diary. I trusted so many people when I was so young - I thought everyone would be my friend, it was obvious to me since I am a good person. But almost every one of them shocked me with their actions or words. I was a lover girl, the most deadly kind - you know, this quote “you love like a puppy, but not in a cute way, like a dog begging for crumbs”. I knew once I’d meet someone who thinks I’m the one, I’ll stay till the end, until it kills me. And I did. Five years. Until I had no personality, no hobbies, my beauty was gone and I accepted that violence can be love. I had to to go insane to finally stop it for good - I did, I live alone. I am learning to live again, waking up brings me joy, my writing and painting came back.. turns out the girl I was is still inside me, she was trapped. I saved her. I have so much love for myself, I cry when I see all the photos, I wish I could brush her hair, help her wash, take her on the walk and kiss her forhead. Such a beautiful, naive girl. Healing is a great process, I can feel my body and mind coming together again, lifting up like a plant once it gets water. I am patient, I am calm… but something that worries me is that I can’t trust. I absolutely love people from a distance, but I could cut off my best friends in a second if I felt disrespected again. My best friend says I act like that whenever someone criticises me - It is not true. I don’t think I am without fault, I just run from feeling pathetic in someone’s eyes like from a fire. I used to to have terrible paranoia episodes- making up scenarios in my mind until they became true (what people did, thought) I had to be treated for insomnia. I still have marks of it - right now I’m putting away cleaning my room and giving myself time until 1pm for someone to text me back because I made up that they heard something I said a long time ago and that’s why they’re ghosting me, and there will be consequences. In my mind there are always consequences for me and I am always on trial. The truth is I have people who love me, I am surrounded with support, I have a quiet place with my cats, I won’t drop out of uni as I thought, I cut off everyone who was hurting me or toxic. But I guess you know the feeling of your mind sabotaging you - something has to be wrong. My life? This peace That’s not in the script and Im just waiting instead of having full faith that I MADE this life for myself, this is the happy ending because I say so. There is a boy or a girl out there who will watch stars with me and be eager to hear my poetry. And until I meet them, I have so much time to heal even more.. when I was a child, it was normal for me to always be guilty. Walking on eggshells around my mom, just to not me screamed at again. I am sure if this wasnt my childhood, I would not have let this boy abuse me for years. Having mommy issues is so sad and fuxked up as a girl - an older teacher seeing your art and you want to say „thank you mom”. After some thinking, I think I was made for platonic love. Seeing the good in people and admiring them for their kind souls but not connecting them with mine. I feel like a 80 year old women and I’m only 23.. so much to heal and rest from. People are shocked that I let myself be destroyed for 5 years and see it as a waste of time but I am just thanking God everyday that I escaped and it wasnt too late. There is nothing like „golden years”. The good old days are now. Something that also helps me, is knowing that I don’t have to prove to people what he did to me - me and God know. I just hope everything will be alright and I haven’t done anything wrong, my friend will text me back. Thank you to anyone who has read my vent and I hope you will have a blessed day 🕊️🪽🐑🪷

[agcntny]

[antcassese]

Whats been going on in my life? Can you handle it?

Everyone knows the rules.... song choice first and foremost!

All My Life - Foo Fighters, damn this song gets me going.

The last 6 months feel almost like a blur. I think a lot of us can relate to this? Im certain I’m not the only one that had a crazy 2020. I’ve literally watch so many of you fall victim to job loss, relationships falling out, and just all around chaos. I’ve witnessed you guys experience this! Just like you’ve watched me, from a distance you’ve watched me.

You’ve watched as my marriage crumbled. You’ve heard about me moving into a damn shed. You watched me walk away from a well paying position. You seen me cry, you’ve seen me talk ill of people in a way not even I condone, unless otherwise provoked.. You’ve been there for me, and didn't even know it. I knew it though. 

Starters, I lost my dad around Christmas in 2019. This man didn't take anyone's shit, even if they had him by the balls. He was sweet, loved his family, but absolutely took no shit. He was the fucking man, but as life goes. We all live to die. During this time, I was still with my wife. A time that I needed to focus, I needed to keep my family together. I was the man now, and it was time to act. 

I had a hard time being intentional having my wife constantly hold me back. It was hard to mourn when I had a significant other who insisted the attention be on her over my parent I lost. This was the the beginning of the end for my marriage, sadly.

I married into what I believed was someone who had the same morals, same ideologies as me. I was sadly mistaken, and after learning the we were on two different wavelengths, the universe did it’s thing. In a matter of a couple months, after many disturbing dealing’s with my wife, I had to cut my losses. This simply was a bad investment and I had to get the fuck out of dodge.

I'm sure you’ve been there, hell, you may be dealing with this as we speak. Constantly asking yourself, “Is this it?” “Is this person really for me”? 

Or maybe you are 10000% certain about what you have, in that case, I am happy for you.

BUT if you’re asking yourself those questions, there's already a problem. Run while you have a chance.

My dad died, god bless his soul. He was a dad, with shortcomings but still, a dad. Losing him crushed me. My marriage? Shit happens! It obviously wasn’t meant to be, and no it wasn’t a mistake! Never! I don't regret it for one second. It just didn’t quite pan out. It’s okay, I had bigger plans waiting for me....

One door closes, another opens! Always be willing to go where the wind blows you, never know where it could take you.

In the mix of a divorce, came leaving my well paying job. I really enjoyed the work I did, having worked in Manhattan for sometime was a huge accomplishment that not many people can say they’ve done. But frankly, It didn't fill me up anymore. It didn’t cut it for me. 

As much as I love money, as most of you know. Some referring to me as even frugal at times, the money couldn’t buy my sanity. Everyday I fought the demon in my head to quit. I wanted to quit because I wanted to dedicate my life to making an impact, not just making money. This was hard for anyone to understand from the outside looking in, it was hard for even me to understand what the hell I was attempting to accomplish by quitting my job to pursue, what? Making an impact doesn't pay the bills? Know what I mean. But I stopped thinking, and one day I snapped. 

I snapped, I was done thinking about my plans, and instead. It was time to start acting. Simple as that

To me, making an impact is and always will be more important then money. I hear from many of you everyday thanking me and praising me for writing, my vlogs, my one on one conversations. THAT SHIT MOVES ME!

You wouldn’t believe how full I am after hearing I made an impact in a strangers life. 

That's what is important to me. Making a difference, one soul out of time. The money is nice but it doesn't move me the way it moves some. I have to know I helped someone at the end of the day or I feel empty.

This is how I’ve found myself. and these days, I'm not playing games. It’s crunch time, come along or get the fuck out of the way.

These last few months have been devastating for me though.. They have torn me in directions that I didn’t know were even possible. I can’t stress how hard life has hit me.

But guess what?

I am so fucking thankful for it. I literally couldn’t be more happy that my life has played out this way. 

My dad passing hurt so bad, hurt. But his passing finally revealed to me what it’s like to be a man. He showed me, and since December, I’ve been a bull. Everything that was meant to break me, only fueled me.

Every set back only made me buck harder, every single day.

My marriage was important because my parents never got married, and I owed it to myself to get married and live a happy life. Being married doesn't necessarily bring happiness though, reality check! 

No job? Whatever

You see, living amongst chaos is normal to me! I love this shit.

I literally strive off of the chaos. My best friend turned out to betray me, as I suspected he would. Never felt betrayal so great. I couldn’t be more grateful for his choice, as life has a way of revealing itself guys.

find solace in the hell you might be in. we all feel hell somewhere in our life. double down, get a plan together, and be ready to execute.

Don't be a victim, no one likes a sissy. 

Next blog isn’t about whats happen to me this year, it’s alllllll about what is going to be happening!

#ONLYTHEFUTURE

Buckle up. Love yall

[heroquills-a]

s1lentsnip3r replied to your post: hmmmmmmmmmm……….. i feel like doing a random mun...

bet

cracks knuckles.

@s1lentsnip3r @chaosmixed @metallumdash 

words can’t describe how impressed i am by how much you bring your muses to life bwaze. i used to like, not really give a darn heck about metal sonic at all? but after that first thread we had where sonic and proxy got into a fight, i was immediately hooked. you just do such an incredible job at fleshing out characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have really thought much of before and you just have this unique and interesting spin on them that feels fresh. i love the way you play the chao and whisper’s wisps and atia is just a little gremlin but i love them so much, and i’ve literally never seen anyone play chaos before. you just have this way of utilizing that potential that your characters and concepts have and it’s just really awesome to watch. i love it. absolutely a stellar roleplayer. absolutely stellar mun!!

@skyfcx @masterprotector @cosmcther

ties you to a chair. listen here little mister. youre probably one of the OG ppl in this rpc that i’ve lowkey looked up to since first joining. you’ve already heard it plenty of times already but your writing is just ?? stellar ?? from the way you use colorful idioms, expressions, metaphors, to how you capture movement and action in such an engaging way. it’s always a treat to read. the way you portray your muses is just always spot on and i love how seamlessly you capture their mannerisms and speech patterns. your headcanons for tails and knuckles just make me so giddy they just feel so right for their characters, and as far as rosalina goes--- while i know next to nothing about the mario franchise or this character in particular i’m still intrigued enough to peek in on what she’s up to every now and then. over all, you’re a rad roleplayer and a fun person to chat with ooc !! 

@chaosbcrne 

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. i adore how you write shadow. i’m constantly blown away by how authentic he always feels and how realistic you write him while still remaining accurate and true to his character. like i legit cannot even think of any other place or media i’ve seen besides the games themselves (before sega started botching up his character anyway) where he’s portrayed as accurately as you write him. you manage to balance the serious, aloof, hostile side of him with his playful, competitive, smug side AND the inner naive, almost child like side almost perfectly. and then there’s more, because you add so much depth to him and realistically expand on so many unexplored facets of his character and his roots !! you can just tell this is a character who’s endured so many hardships and is still trying to recover and move on, and despite everything that’s hardened him into the person he is today he still has that innocent curiosity about the world and it makes me so emo every. single. time. you just put so much work into him and it shows, from your icons to your headcanon posts, to even the most minute detail. even when you host events you just go So Hard at it you’re literally out here setting the standard dude. and don’t even get me started on your writing style. i was hooked by the very first thread we did, i felt like i could never hold a candle to it honestly. just. the way you narrate shadow’s feelings and thoughts, how you capture his actions, his movement, his speech patterns, is just so good. and your vocabulary is so colorful and rich. just. hgnfhg its top tier content ALRIGHT you inspire me to push myself and to keep improving all the time and i have to say i couldn’t ask for a better writing partner. i love you so much eph 💕💕💕

@1110-01111011

hello yes trikey i love your omega so much. i’ve never really thought much of the death bot before but seeing all the headcanons and fleshing out you do for him just makes him so much more interesting and fascinating. down to the most intrinsic detail you put in for him it’s just really cool to see and adds so much to him that just !! i love it man. every time i think abt omega now my mind just automatically goes back to your portrayal because he is Just omega. i appreciate all the depth you add to him and his relationships to the rest of his team, it’s so pleasing to see and really helps solidify how strong team dark’s dynamic truly is..... not to mention your art is hecking gorgeous??? like damn dude, goals. anyway,, thank u for the blessed omega content. absolutely 10/10

@coolxnxblue @oforbis @hcrofraid @mastcrplanncr @powderbluestreaks

toxi i immediately fell in love with your sonic the first time we ever interacted. you just capture his sass so well, i just could not stop giggling that first night. he’s still my favorite sonic in this rpc, to be honest. and don’t even get me started on your other muses. it still baffles me how you manage to take on such a huge raster of characters yet manage to flesh them out all so well. every one of them feels so evenly developed and solid and just like bwaze you make me care about characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have before. i feel like i have a huge newfound appreciation for eggman bc of you and unsurprisingly he’s now my fave eggman on here hands down. and it goes without saying your writing is just, phenomenal. you capture dialogue so beautifully, the way you narrate on the feelings your characters are experiencing is engaging, to the point i’m lowkey intimidated by it sometimes LMAO. also your AUs are just rad as hell? and rlly interesting?? and your art style too ????? 10/10 roleplayer, i just think youre neat.

@antibadnik @godcontained

hey you? yes you. i love your muses so much. i especially love how you write amy, to be honest. she’s been my favorite character since forever and like?? you do just such a good job with her? i appreciate that you choose not to erase her intense affection for sonic, because more often than not i see people tone it way down to almost non-existent and it really is just such a big part of her character. i like the way you delve into that mindset of her’s, and expand on it and how it affects her. i also just. love your writing too. you just have this way of conveying feeling in your writing that’s always a punch to the gut you can feel it that hard. your headcanons for elise are really interesting too and definitely nothing i’ve actually seen before, what with how her powers work and how having to go emotionally dormant has effected her after all this time.  also, i love ava. she is baby. it’s so cool getting to see a mute character!! all in all, its just good content man. god i love football.

@team-phantom @heartfelt-silver

pandaaaa i adore you !!! you were like my first friend in this heckin rpc. all of our dash shenanigans always have me wheezing and i just love your boys so much. i can certainly say without a shadow of a doubt that zero is one of my favorite takes on infinite. its hard to believe that he’s the same jackal who almost completely helped eggman take over the world--- he’s just come so far, he seamlessly fits into the rest of the cast. i adore how he works off of his team, and all their own unique little quirks that set them apart from each other. your headcanons and lore for your muse is just so sweet. and god i can’t get enough of your art?? your doodles always are a blessing to see ;-; i always appreciate you youre just such a sweet and kind mun, you’re so welcoming of ppl here and have this way of making ppl feel at home in this community. it absolutely wouldn’t be the same without you. keep it up <3

@lightdash @heartlop @enrichedheart

YOU. yes you. ame you’re so freakin’ cool and sweet. you’re always so nice and welcoming to people in the rpc it’s always a treat getting the chance to talk to you !! you’re another one of those peeps i look up to in this community TBH and youre muses are just portrayed and written so well!! i can just tell you’ve poured many years of thought, consideration, and work into your muses to the point that they’re just so finely tuned. i love the aesthetic you utilize for you blogs, from your icons to just the way you go about formatting your threads? and not to mention, your art style ??? is just so cute ??? ngl i lowkey wanna collab with you one of these days bc i just adore how you draw the sonic cast ;_; thank you for being a part of this rpc !! you’re wonderful !

@projectlightfox

moggg you’re so nice and chill to talk to. i love volt and harmony so much... they fit in really good with sonic world and mesh well with just about any characters i’ve seen them interact with so far--- even if its someone they don’t get along with. i’ve said it before but theyre just a really charming little duo and im always happy to see them on my dashboard. i love the overall aesthetic they got going, two travelers roaming the world from dimension to dimension. harmony is just a little bundle of precious fluffy joy and her interactions with sonic always make me cry. and volt--- he’s such a good dad !! he’s a really neat character and i’m certainly interested in learning more about the both of them. and as i said, you’re a rad person to talk to, i appreciate how welcoming and supportive you are of people. and your art style? absolutely adorable. thank you for being in this rpc ;-;

@dieviskais @solfading 

king!! i’ve never seen anyone write the way you do, choosing to shift the view point onto the reader as if they themselves are the muse. it’s such a unique and interesting way to look into your muse’s mindsets and express how they are feeling and what they’re doing. your take on silver is very fresh compared to the way he’s typically written. i appreciate you don’t take the baby silver uwu route like don’t get me wrong he IS baby but he’s not a baby. you certainly have really neat headcanons surrounding his backstory and how he grew up, it’s nice to see the grim reality of his harsh bleak life being represented. it’s good !! your other muses are intriguing too and i’m eager to learn more about them. i love auburn?? he’s a really cool oc dude his aesthetic and powers are A+. and you know, i may be terrible at expressing it but you’re a delight to talk to!! never feel bad or discouraged for popping into my dms i honestly appreciate the company ;-; thank u for being u

@orbviously / @cubeviously

THESE TWO BOTS. i love them so much. literally every time i see orbot or cubot now in any context i just think back to your portrayal of them hebby, they’re just so dang spot on and good. i love how you go about interacting with people with these two tbh it never fails to make me giggle. i love your art style too it’s just pleasing to look at! you have so many creative AUs for these bots i’m honestly impressed by how much you manage to create with these guys man--- from their human/bot designs to their mobianbot designs theyre just so cool ?? even your other muses are always entertaining to watch regardless of what fandom theyre from youre just so fun to interact with. and just, you’re always a pleasure to talk to ooc, youre always putting a smile on my face! youre awesome hebby 

@fishing-purple-cat

yes hi. sunny your take on big is so blessed. you’ve done so much justice for him. i’ve always really liked big tbh but i just love how much depth you put into his character, his backstory and his mannerisms. i love that you like,, actually give him a personality outside being a slow thinker. i can tell you’ve really developed your writing style with him, it speaks volumes about how much work you really put into writing him and it shows? heck, you even go the extra mile to draw your own icons and hang on i need a second to gush about your art because holy DAMN dude. your anatomy and painting abilities are nothing short of impressive--- especially your nack for painting backgrounds. i srsly gotta commission you at some point when i’m able to, heck. anyway, the rpc certainly wouldn’t be the same without you here

@lnfinitc

dude i love your take on infinite. he’s just about everything he should have been in forces, and even more. i love how malicious and intimidating you write him and your take on his speech patterns is just straight up eye-candy. i love your writing style, its so flavorful and rich--- your headcanons and lore on how infinite works is just astounding. and i like how you incorporate your drawings into your replies or threads too like even if its just icons your style is so heckin pretty ?? gosh dang. i’m definitely looking forward to interacting more in the future bc ur muse is just really fun and you seem like such a rad person !!

@pistolbitten

uhhh hello yes... while we haven’t interacted very much so far i JUST GOTTA SAY, i super enjoy your take on fang. from what i can tell he’s very well-rounded and fleshed out and a really interesting villain. i may or may not’ve been lowkey paying attention to that angel’s thesis thread you were doing w bwaze and aaron and i gotta say. holy damn. fang just done FUCKED UP. im certainly looking forward to him and shade interacting lmao. your writing style is so good too hh... just yeah i don’t have a whole lot to say if only because we haven’t interacted as much as i have with some of the other ppl on here BUT i certainly am looking forward to bc you seem cool. i’m loving what i’m seeing so far. have nack shoot sonic. DO IT.

@mobian-merc @funis-infinite 

duuuudeeee. i’ll be honest i was super intimidated by you at first asdkjsah i don’t even know why i was ??? but like. you’re so hecking nice and fun to talk to ;_; scourge is an actual literal dipshit yet you manage to make him very likable and you have such a fun take on him. i’ve always been a little conflicted on the character tbh because of how popular he is and he seems like the type i’d like but i knew nothing about him and was kinda put off by the over hype sometimes, but honestly? your portrayal won me over. i love him now. he’s so stupid and hE’S GREAT. your infinite also seems so cool too i gotta hecking respond to that starter you made me when i get the chance, im looking forward to infinite & sonic just. talking and sassing eachother probably. i really like your writing style too!!! and your icons are absolutely gorgeous ok. alright, that is all.

@flyinginfreedom

uhhhhhhh hello i love your rouge so much ???? she’s literally so cool... you capture her aesthetic and over all mysterious yet cunning vibe perfectly and it’s just always a pleasure to see her on my dash. i loved her interactions with sonic during eph’s roadtrip event so much. your headcanons just feel so her and spot on, and you still manage to add so much depth and personality to her i just love it so much. i love your blog’s aesthetic down to the icons, and even the way you format your threads. over all just a stellar rouge blog and a really cool & chill mun!!

@rosehammcr @antihedgehog

hi rosie uhm i love your amy so much ok. she’s such a sweet heart, i love how you incorporate her tarot cards ?? it’s literally so cool... and the accuracy on those readings is shocking. she’s just such a sweet heart god i’m getting emo thinking abt her tbh like amy is !! one of my fave characters and !! you write her so well !! and your eggman too, god he’s incredible. i love how sinister yet goofy he can be he’s just a perfect combination of intimidating and silly. your takes on orbot and cubot also bring a smile to my face and i love how you incorporate them into your interactions!! you also just seem like a rlly rad person and i’d love to interact more !! yeah !

@a-wind-of-freedom

yuniiiiiiIII !!  you’re such a sweet heart and your sonic is too. i’ve never seen someone play sonic the way you do before and it’s certainly interesting and unique !! you’ve got so many neat an thought out verses and AUs too, theyre all really intriguing !  our interactions with our sonics are always rlly blessed tbh starlight is just precious. i always appreciate getting to work with you as well for commission stuff, you’ve really been helping me out in that regard. plus you give me something artistic to work on and the chance to push my talents ! ;-; all in all you’re just a really sweet person and have a kind aura about you ! ;;

@champiionic

clears throat. hi yes you’ve been one of my fave sonics since day one. you’re just so creative with your muse its honestly impressive how many things you’ve able to come up with for sonic. from the portrayal you bring to the table down to your muse aesthetic its always just spot on you’ve got the blue speedster’s whole vibe down to a T. and your writing is just ? kisses my fingers. beautiful. your sonic is just so dang authentic, seeing him on my dash is always a pleasant sight. and i know this post is namely about sonic rpc muns & muses but i already love bubbles and blossom. i used to watch powerpuff girls when i was rlly little so its a real nostalgia trip to see them on my dashboard.

@hcpebloom @rcsebloom

bunny !! ur heckin sweet.. i love ur amy so much HSDFHDJ she’s just so soft. and unique too!! your headcanons for her are just so cute and make her stand out in her own way and i just appreciate that yo. and i admittedly don’t know a whole lot about cosmo since i havent really watched that far into sonic x but you’ve certainly got my attention with her. we just gotta interact more man ur muses are so precious !! ;_; 

@fortruechaos 

you !! your shadow is so good dude ! your portrayal of him is just so hecking accurate,, i highly appreciate how noble you write him to be. he’s serious, he’s prickly, but he’s got the world’s best interest at heart and it makes my heart do the fluttery thing. your writing is so good too gosh. no to mention youre just so hecking nice ??? youre just overall a rlly sweet mun & i appreciate your presence here in the rpc

@glittcrngcld @livelifc

hey fretcher ? ily. your muses are just so good from your canon characters to your ocs, i just love them sm?? and your ART? i swoon every time i see your doodles on my dash i’m still not over those doodles of lilly and azure ;-; not to mention your edits are scarily good like shit dude teach me your ways. your takes on your muses are awesome man i love ur sonic he’s such a MEME. and elise !!! she makes me so emo god. thank u for your blessed portrayals of these characters ! @elektrisch-felidae​

YOU. precious is just, precious?? HAH. i love her, she’s so cool tbh. she’s so chill and laid back and seems like the kinda cool cat sonic can totally vibe with. you yourself are also rlly chill and fun to interact with--- even if we haven’t much so far. its no secret i just love sonic ocs so much and precious is just awesome. i love the idea of electricity powers. absolutely need to have sonic hang with her more ;;

@coldheartbeauty 

SPEAKING of cool cats with cool powers, i love raven. her sass is just super entertaining to see on the dashboard tbh. i have to see her and sonic get into a sass off one of these days. her powers are also really cool too ? she reminds me of blaze in a sense, but just completely different in her own right. i also just hella love your art style its so cute, your doodles are always adorable to see!! 

INHALES. ok. im done. if i missed anyone i am so sorry i ran out of steam. thank you all so much for making this rpc such an entertaining, dynamic, and creative place to be !!! 

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

Highschool Boy - Elippo

Hey guys....just to clarify...i don’t know a lot about italian culture so sorry if some things don’t make sense in that context...i was just feeling like writing an Elippo fan fic... if you guys like it i can open another blog and take requests.

hope you enjoy.

Filippo had had his eye on Elia for quite a while now, it wasn’t tipical for him to be lurking around younger boys, especially highschool ones, they were always so “manly” and worried about what everybody else thought...he wasn’t intersted in raising a son, he wanted a hook up, maybe even a boyfriend.

Elia Santini was a different type of highschool boy, he had, in fact, stalked him to death, and the boy was pretty funny, his facebook page were mostly memes and for some reason, and he knew this had nothing to do with the fact that he kinda liked him, Elia seemed a little gay to him...just tiniest bit, there was a light at the end of the tunel, a feeling in his gut that telled him that the guy might actually be into boys.

he didn’t make much of it, he was intelligent, yes, but also a fool when it came to his own personal life, he still didn’t know how he had managed to fix Martino’s dating life if he couldn’t even figure out his own.

so when the big day came, when he would finally meet the rest of Martino’s friends...boy, was Elia a big surprise...he was sure now it wasn’t just him imagining stuff, Elia Santini had kinda flirted with him, surprisingly.

it was very subtle, first stares that he thought were because of his odd fashion choices, then starting conversations with him out of nowhere and finally, the top of the cake, when hugging goodbye the guy had actually stopped an aditional of two seconds to look him in the eye afterwards.

Filippo was flying...high. this couldn’t be his imagination, could it? 

normally he would DM the guy, Filo was always pretty straight foward with this kind of thing, but he also knew he could easly scare him away...what if he had misinterpreted the whole thing? he then decided it was time to go back to the basics.

liking his memes and leaving silly comments. 

god how old was he, 12? he was ashamed...if Marti or Ele could see him....they would give him soooooo much shit about it.

luckly, Elia reciprocated, he liked his comments or replied, he even went as far as liking a pride post he had done last year about pride, like.....was that not sing? it had to be rigth?

he made a decision....he would try and make a move on that Villa boys fundraising Ele had ask him to come to.

He entered the party with confidence, as always, Filo never carried himself with any less than that, he noticed Ele looking around for Edoardo, tho if he were to ask her, she would deny everything.

the Sava brothers were having a tough time with love.

He saw the boys almost inmediatly, Martino slightly towering over Nico as he leaned in for a kiss, both smiling as usual, Luchino combining multiple drinks in a cup as Elia cheared and Giovanni looked at them in disbelief.

granted, Elia was kind of childish...but he liked him anyways...and he was determined to not leave that party until he was sure wether or not he liked him too.

Filippo walked towards them.

“hey guys” he said, Gio was the first to say hi, he noticed while greeting the happy couple how Gio and Elia exchanged looks.

“what are you doing here?” Luchino asked, everybody laughed. 

“well, i can leave if you want” he suggested gesturing towards the exit, they laughed again “nah im just, looking over Ele, she has been acting wierd lately”

Gio shrugged his shoulders and clapped “who wants to go find some pretty girls to dance?” 

“we’ll go with you” Nico quickly responded.

Luchino frowned “ok but, what about my beer mix?”

“it’s gonna taste like shit Luchi, c’mon, maybe you can find Silvia” said Gio putting a hand around his shoulders and dragging him along.

“what about Elia” he asked, Gio slapped him in the back of the head.

“remember what we talked about earlier?”

Filippo tried to act like he haven’t heard that... but he was almost sure now...Elia liked him too...somehow...the gods, the universe, mother nature, hell, maybe even jesus...had decided to bless him.

“so...how is it going?” Elia asked him with a smile, Filippo smiled back, this was going to be a productive night.

they talked...a lot, about different things, their favorite tv shows, how awful highschool was, they talked about his friends, their life, what they liked...and when the music got too loud they went outside...it was a beautiful starry night...like the planets had aligned for him to get this moment or something.

they sat on a bench and pretended for a while to be two straight dudes talking to each other under the moonlight.

“why are you really here?” Elia asked him after a moment of silence...their hands were close together, their pinkies almost touching, the phantom of a smiled danced over Elia’s lips and god did he wanted to kiss him.

“i’m looking after Ele” he replied back, knowing it was kind useless at this point.

“c’mon Filo, im sure you can be a better liar” he teased, Filippo laughed.

“ok, you caught me...im actually here cause i like a guy”

“ oh really?” Elia tried to sound smooth, but Filo could see his cheeks turning red “and how is that going?”

“pretty bad actually, so far all we’ve done is pretend we don’t like each other while we stare into our eyes under the moonlight”

Elia laughed and looked away, he started to move his legs back and forth and for a second Filo feared he might had misunderstood things, then Elia sighed and he understood it was something else.

“maybe” he stared, his voice was soft, low, and nervous “maybe he isn’t sure of what he really wants”

“well...” Filo reached for Elia’s hand and covered it with his “that’s ok...there is no rush”

Elia looked at him, and then at their hands, he seemed to doubt for a second before cursing and subsequently...crushing his lips to Filippo’s.

Filo was surprised to say the least, first beacuse he wasn’t expecting it and second because for a highschool boy...Elia was a really good kisser.

hands still together on the bench Filo used his free hand to hold Elia’s cheeck, he grabbed that one too, and suddendly the nigth was a lot less cold and a bit more dark...and this time, Filippo had a feeling this one would be different.

[pasttorn]

URL RESPONSES ! ⟡ NOT ACCEPTING !

@moonchains​ said: my url !

DO I FOLLOW THEM ? WHY ? -  of course ! !  of fucking course ! ! ! i’ve got a mega bad memory but i think i was the one who followed first ? ?  i’m always mega happy to see new upper moon blogs / demon blogs around in general so i wouldn’t doubt it if i saw them floating around & instantly followed ihugdkfmv bUT HONESTLY ? ? ? i stayed because holy fuck i love how they write koku ? how they portray his entire character ? ?  top quality content, i tell ya. DO WE WRITE / DO I WANT TO WRITE WITH THEM ? - YEAH WE DO ! ! ! we have a thread going on ( which i have replied to & queued ! ! ! though it might need some plotting / talking out because akaza is not the most open of guys & the two of them pit together might make for some mighty awkward interactions ) & i’ve sent ‘em a couple asks & i’m always blown away by how good their responses are ? ? ? i’m very much looking forward to plotting with them more & having a bunch more threads with them because holy heck i adore them already ! AN AU IDEA FOR OUR MUSES - i mean this is my go-to verse for kny muses but ! ! ! modern verse ! ! ! it’s so good ! ! so easy to work with ! ! ! might be slightly harder to find ways modern koku might interact with the twins, but it’s still gonna be so much fun to talk about. otherwise ? ? plots / threads between koku & senjurou in your alternate 1 verse would also be super interesting. i love pitting sen w/ muses he usually wouldn’t interact with & just ? it might be a bit hard to plot that out on a main verse but it’d ? ? be somewhat simpler to think their interactions through in the alt verse ? idk ! there’s so many potential verses / au’s we could work with & there’s things we could write that i just can’t come up with now, but might later on ! A SONG FOR OUR MUSES - GOD I DON’T KNOW ! ! ! i’m bad at songs in general & since i don’t know much about how they interact with each other apart from the very little we’ve talked about them ( which is entirely my fault, since i’m bad at keeping up with im’s ) idk of a good song but ! ! if anything, the song  not gonna die tonight by skillet gives off vibes that both of them could relate to ? ? i guess ? ? “ i won't take this world's abuse / i won't give up or refuseThis is how it feels when you're bent and broken / this is how it feels when your dignity's stolen / when everything you love is leaving / you hold on to what you believe in ″ i guess is something that fits them because i mean, they both refuse to die during their battles ( until something happens that stops them ) but the whole  this is how it feels when your dignity’s stolen is just oof because it reminds me of his inferiority to his twin ? & just :” > DO I SHIP OUR MUSES ? - OOF THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. do i ship them platonically ? yeah ! i do ! ! it’s got its share of tension, yeah-- like all demon friendships / relationships are, since they’re not exactly the most family friendly kind. but do i love the thought of them interacting enough that akaza would be willing to actively spend time with koku & koku not being so done with his & douma’s shit ? absolutely ! otherwise ! ! !  idk about any thing else, since i can’t see anything between them other than something platonic, but i would be down for plotting stuff to see where things might go ( will it get worse & into a hateship ? or better into something else ? who knows ! akaza is finicky when it comes to demons so it most probably will either stay the same or get worse but ihuegrjdfm yeah ) ! WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT THE MUN ? - goD I ADORE YOU ! ! ! !  i very much love seeing you on the dash ( if you can’t tell by the way i like almost every ooc post i see you make uhregijdfmvc ) & i love hearing about what you have to say & just ! ! ! in the very brief moment we talked to each other, you seemed like such a nice & kind, & mostly patient person to talk to & just ! ! ! hi i care you so much thank you for blessing us with your presence ! ! OVERALL OPINION - Y’ALL SHOULD BE FOLLOWING THEM ! ! ! ! ! their koku is absolutely amazing & their writing is spectacular, so you’re missing out big time if you haven’t seen their or followed their blog yet ♡. also if you don’t send me a picture of your new ( not really new anymore ihuregdfm ) bunny soon, one of these days i’m gonna riot. BLOG RATE - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

[urban-witch-tales]

1K FOLLOWERS...STORY TIME!

Honestly guys you have no idea how surreal this is for me. I didn’t start this blog for followers (although SUPER appreciate it) or likes, or reblogs. I started this as a way to save all the Wicca/Witchy stuff I can find seeing as I’m somewhat a closeted witch.... So for my 1k followers I’m gonna do a little Story time.

All of my life i was raised catholic. I got baptized, did my first communion, was even in sunday school to do my confirmation while in High school, but i never agreed with it and never connected. I ended up not completing my confirmation and refused to do so. Fast forward to about 20yo, mom even asked me to complete my confirmation but I’m kinda struggling with the whole aspect of catholocism and christianity. but I also felt lost not believing in anything.  There were just too many unexplained things in life that i couldn’t just chalk up to “things happen.” I definitely believed in a high being but couldn’t commit to Christianity because there were sooooo many things that i just couldn’t deal with or agree to. At 21 I had my daughter and was having her baptized by the catholic church because thats just what we did, so even though i didnt even agree with it (nor did my bf/father to my child) its just culturally what we do. theres this class you have to take prior to your child being baptized and everything was all great at first. Priest was talking about how its our jobs as parents and god parents to raise the child in the church and to follow the path of god and jesus..... and then all of a sudden it wasnt anything about baptism, He started ranting about gays going to hell and being sinners, he ranted about premarital sex being a sin. and People having kids out of wedlock, at that point i was FURIOUS seeing as me and my bf were not married. it took everything in me to not storm out. and all i kept telling myself was that it was almost over. Had family not flown in to see this baptism i probably wouldnt have done it. but for me it was the breaking point i refused to be apart of something that was so vile. And yes i know that not all catholics feel this way and not all churches spew that bs.... but the majority of the churches i went to did. and the majority of people in my culture that were catholics/christians believed this. so i was done. 

fast forward to 24yo, october 2018.... still struggling to find something that i could agree about spiritually... i felt like i was missing something. And even spoke to my aunt about it but she couldnt really talk much about it because she was raised catholic and thats just all it had been her whole life. One day Im just thinking about it and it just popped into my head.... Wicca!! Since middle school, about 13ish i had been interested in wicca. But as mentioned above that wasnt going to happen at 13. But im an adult now and i figured i can make my own decisions and believe and worship how i want to. And thats the beginning of my path. I dove into research and studying of Wicca and witchcraft. I instantly fell in love and connected. For the first time ever i wasnt confused, or lost. everything i read i agreed, and felt like it was right. I loved the idea of a duotheistic Goddess and God. that they are omnipresent and not just some god residing sowhere far that i have to fear or i wont get into heaven. I loved that the Goddess and God werent portrayed as something you worship because they are superior, but because they work with you and are by your side. 

So because i wasnt ready to open up about this to my family i started a tumblr for all things Witchy and Wicca.... I started this for me to just keep track of all the things that interested me and that i want to try. I never for a moment thought that i was going to end up with a 1k following. This is really amazing and I have no idea even how to express the excitement i have towards this! I really hope this continues to grow. And please guys don’t hesitate to message me or send asks! I’m all for getting to know the witchblr and wiccablr community!!! 

And i want to give a shout out to my 1000th follower! @winter-vblack thank you so much!! and thank you to everyone who’s followed me thus far! 

Blessed be!! 🌒🌕🌘

~Astria Artemisia ✨🌙

[chloeafrazier]

Bay from switched at Birth .

hi everyone today i will  be talking about Bay from switched at birth now look i know bay did things wrong in the show because she did  i mean she ran away from home she took money from her dads car wash and a lot of other stuff i am not saying that she never messed up or anything like that because she did but i will say that she was not done wrong in the show because she was okay so here is the thing so when they found out about the switch i felt like John Treated Bay Differently after they found out about the switch he started overcompensating with Daphne look i know that when its all said and done Daphne is his blood and bay is Regina blood i get that but Bay is still the Daughter that he raised and who he watched grow up and over the few years on the show he was very hard on her now look i know that it is not the actors fault i am only talking about the characters actions in this blog post so here is the thing about John is that i felt that he looked at bay almost as if she was a failure at everything she did i felt that he did not see her as his Daughter anymore after he met Daphne and everything happened and yes i know that bay was not his biological child but like i said she is still the child that he raised and i just did not like the way he treated her after they found out the girls were switched like when she stole money from the car wash and kathryn said i will give you the money to pay your dad back and your gonna work it off every cent but when Daphne got into to trouble for vandalizing the tractor they were like  i am spend whatever it takes to help you so when bay dose something wrong it was like oh well sorry bay you have to deal with it but when Daphne dose something wrong it is like oh don t worry Daphne  i will help you i will do whatever it takes for you and also when the girls moved out bay needed help on her Light bill and john was like well sorry about that i am  not gonna help you your on your own  but when Daphne   needed help with he school books in collage it was like yes i will always help you and on the last episode of the show he told Daphne the day you become a Doctor that will be the proudest day of my life and yet it was at Bays very first art opening it was supposed be about Bay but John had to make it all about Daphne it was like he did not even hint that he was Proud of Bay im not saying that he did not Love Bay i am sure he did but i just don t think he showed it very much and that is why i always felt bad for Bay on the show if you ask me well i hope you all Enjoy reading this blog post Thank you so much for reading this may God continue to Bless you all again this is just my Opinion that is all well Thanks again for reading stay safe Thanks Again for reading it means a lot, 

[lilygrants]

 This is a ficbit based on @im-fairly-whitty‘s  “Whatever It Takes,” a Coco villain AU where Hector is a villain, Imelda is the great woman behind the great man, everything is made up and the points don’t matter.

Please note that situations in this fic trend more adult than content written by the originator of this AU. While nothing is described, married couples do what married couples will do, and deal with subsequent consequences. I wouldn’t rate this R, but Parental Supervision is advised.

The wonky formatting is due to using the read more cut. Since I care about your scrolling hand, please note that if you click the link, the wonky formatting will disappear and you can read it normally on the blog proper. I don’t understand it either.

“You came home to us,” she tells him. “That’s all that matters.”

Blaming her husband is out of the question. She holds him close, his head on her chest, and strokes his hair. She thanks God and all the saints that if he has to suffer like this, at least he doesn’t wake up screaming. Lying to Coco would shatter him permanently, and she is grateful, so grateful every day that she married a man who loves her and her child so entirely that he would do anything to be with them. She is so grateful that she married a man who would do anything for them, yes, but she hates herself because she loves him more for how much it’s killing him.

“You came home to us,” she croons, over and over again, safe in their marriage bed. “That’s all that matters. I love you so much.”

He doesn’t wake up screaming because he’s too horrified by what he’s done to even scream. She married a man who loves his wife and child above all else, yes, but she also married a good man. A gentle man, kindhearted and tender and loving. If he enjoyed killing Ernesto, if it thrilled him, if it gave him any feeling other than grief and self-loathing and morbid relief that it wasn’t his own lonely bones baiting the scavengers from a desolate shallow grave-- she would take their daughter and leave. Get so far away from him that he would want to kill her, too.

“I love you so much,” she repeats, breathy, soft, nuzzling his temple. For not putting her in that position, wife of a monster, and for not putting her in the other position, widow of a weak-willed good-for-nothing.

Imelda strokes the hollowed cheeks, the prematurely graying hair of her husband.

“Even if you desperately need to shave, I love you,” she adds, and the weak, involuntary laugh at the absurdity of her little joke -- they have so many more important things weighing on them -- gives her hope.

She repeats her mantra, You came home to us; that’s all that matters, as his arms tighten around her waist. He hides his face against her bosom, even though it’s a new moon and their bedroom windows are locked and the curtains are closed.

They can weather the aftershocks of this. Imelda reminds herself, this is proof, if ever she needed it, that Héctor could never do such a thing to her. Because she loved him too well, she could never imagine hurting him. Could never imagine taking such a loving, doting, protective father away from her child, could never imagine living, breathing, or loving without him there beside her.

She could never do anything to hurt him, could never betray the depths of the love that gave him the courage and the deftness to do whatever it took. And if she couldn’t, neither could he.

“I love you so much,” she says, taking her strength from the certainty of his love. “You came home to us. That is all that matters to me.”

“Our family is all that matters,” he says, muffled, soft, and she wraps her arms around him.

If they can weather this, they can weather anything, she reasons. She wishes it didn’t prey on his mind so, she wishes he could have peace, but she feels relieved, too. Relieved that the trauma, the shock and the horror, didn’t change him. That he is still  Héctor, that the same gentle heart still beats underneath the worn pajamas she’s mended for him a dozen times, underneath the soft skin that flushes hot and red just for her.

That his same gentle heart wasn’t stilled forever.

“I love you so much,” she murmurs, reaching down to loosen his pants. “I need you so much.”

At his soft gasp of surprise, she reminds him that he’s been away for months.

She has friends, acquaintances, who aren’t so lucky. Who didn’t get the chance to make a love-match before their parents could no longer support them alongside many younger siblings, who had to marry where and when they could, before it was too late. Some of them fall into the middle ground; they married decent men who are kind to them, who honor their partners in life even if they don’t love them as passionately, as entirely, as Héctor loves her. Some aren’t even that fortunate; trapped for a lifetime with men who get a thrill out of their pain.

Héctor hears the things his wife says to him. She needs him to believe them. If they can survive this, they can survive anything, but only if they’re together.

As close together as man and wife have ever been, she thanks God and all the saints that if Héctor has to suffer like this, at least he doesn’t have to do it alone.

She almost gets his mind off it, but Imelda doesn’t do it by herself.

She waits until she’s absolutely certain. Until she’s missed her period, until her breasts are tender, until she can hardly stand to keep house for her little family without being overwhelmed by nausea and exhaustion. She waits until Héctor asks her, point-blank, eyes dancing with hope.

“Do you understand now?” she asks him, and he nods. 

She takes a deep breath, and his arms are so tight around her. One of his hands braces the small of her back.

“I love you so much,” he whispers into her ear.

The first time they had this conversation, she was quivering in his arms. Heady, boundless joy in her heart warred with the primordial fear of what every wife knew might be the price she paid on top of her conjugal debt. 

But she would do anything for her family. She would honor the sacrifice her husband made for her sake,  and for Coco’s. She would live up to that one act of terrible, unspeakable love if it meant their family would grow, or if it meant dying in childbed. She would cast the dice if it would bring some of the spring back into her husband’s step. Plenty of women lived to bear ten children; plenty more died with nothing to show for it.

They have Coco; they have each other; already they have more blessings than Imelda can count.

Santa Maria, she thinks, wrapping her arms around his neck, Pray for me.

It is a gamble. It is always a gamble, but the stakes are so much higher now. If she succeeds, Héctor will be so much happier. He cherishes Coco, now more than ever. The greatest part of his energy goes to keeping her happy and safe and comfortable; if Imelda can only multiply the mental resources he needs to spend in that direction, he’ll no longer have time to see Ernesto de la Cruz’s death throes every time he closes his eyes.

But if she fails, Imelda almost can’t bear to imagine the prospects. In the best case, Héctor is devastated, alone with Coco and a new baby; in the worst, Héctor is alone with Coco and his thoughts. The idea of leaving Coco and Héctor without a mother and wife to take care of them is terrifying; she can’t protect them from the other side of the veil. She can’t do anything for her family if she can’t be with them.

Santa Maria, pray for me. Hers isn’t the most humble supplication. Tell your Son to preserve us for my husband’s sake. Make me the partner my husband needs in life, make me worthy of how deeply he loves our family, make me strong enough to do what our family needs me to do, whether it’s surviving childbirth or killing someone who might threaten us.

When Imelda has the privilege of presenting her husband with beautiful, lively, newborn twins, she tells him again. 

“You came home to us. That’s all that matters.”

Coco is sound asleep on Papá’s lap, worn out with the day’s excitement; the midwife has gone home for the same reason. 

Héctor leans close to kiss both babies in her arms, and nods.

“If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t have been blessed like this,” Imelda says, driving the point home. “If you hadn’t poured that drink into his own shot glass, if you’d let him do what he wanted to do, we wouldn’t have these children.”

“I love you both so much,” says Héctor, determined that each baby get a perfectly equal share of his affection. The tips of his fingers easily span their little cheeks, and he gently cups both of their tiny faces.

“Two lives for the price of one,” he adds quietly, thoughtfully. His eyes lift to hers, considering.

“Three,” Imelda corrects, not surprised his selflessness disregarded the life Ernesto de la Cruz actually intended to end. “More, if we have other children after this.”

More still, she thinks, if these children and those children have children of their own.

“We’ll get right to work on that,” he jokes.

Three cherubic faces and  kisses from their proud father keep her from imagining Ernesto de la Cruz’s death throes when she closes her eyes.

“You can’t tell me he matters that much to you anymore,” she says. Not compared to how much they’ve gained. Not compared to what they could have lost.

“Our family is all that matters,” he answers.

She loves him so much.

Imelda thanks God and all the saints that if Ernesto de la Cruz had to suffer, at least it was worth it.

[jeongincore]

Shit i really liked and kinda didn’t like about Ragnarok

I recently saw ragnarok and became so rejuvenated that i brought my marvel blog back but i wanted to seriously talk about like things that i liked and really didn’t just to get shit out there. 

Things i really liked (like so much that i am obsessed)

-Thor’s new hair cut/outfit, i think its actually super suitable. Gives that sort of cool ass warrior refugee look. Plus, Chris Hemsworth is beautiful. 

-The humor, oh god it was hilarious, i’ve never laughed so genuinely and so much in my life and it made the movie so charming and relatable. It was also such a departure from The Dark World and the first Thor, which dealt with so much emotional baggage for not only just Thor, but for Loki, who basically suffered throughout both movies. 

-Hulk being an actual toddler/Bruce Banner being so fucked up and anxious because WHEN DID HE GET ON AN ALIEN PLANET. 

-”You’ve been on other planets before i assume” “Yeah, one!” “well now it’s two” 

-Valkyrie. Her entire everything gave me so much to love and adore. Tessa Thompson has stole my heart yet again. 

-TAIKA WAITITI AS KORG WAS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY

-The little tiny glimpses of Loki and Thor’s childhood, aka the snake story, get help. It really showed how much time Loki and Thor had spent together, which i assume is a lot because age in Asgardian years work differently probably? Like imagine that, Loki and Thor spending time together and being inseparable for 100 years. It showed that they were always close despite loki feeling different or alienated, which explains why its so hard for Loki to just leave thor for dead. 

-”You’ll always be the god of mischief, but you can be so much more” See that shit destroyed me. Thor acknowledges that Loki is not like him. He’s a trickster, manipulative, and selfish. But he also acknowledges that Loki is so much more than his tricks and lies, which shows so much character growth in Thor, who sees loki as more than just an asgardian prince that was raised the exact same way opposite of Thor, but as his own fucking person.

-Thor actually not being stupid and falling for Loki’s tricks, aka his magic projections of himself/his petty, stupid betrayals. Tom mentioned that Thor was evolving and that Loki was finally starting to realize that he’s the only one not growing. Scenes like the betrayal scene and the snake scene, although meant to be hilarious, point out that Thor isn’t that idiot that just was too trusting of his brother, he sees through Loki’s tricks, he’s seen them for years, and it really shows that Loki’s getting predictable with his fake deaths and betrayals, which might hint at him changing? 

-IT FIXED THE INCONSISTENCIES. The main reason i didn’t like Dark world, though i did see it as amazing for its ability to mix the emotional darkness between Loki and Thor along with the humor throughout the movie, was because it pointed Loki out to be the type of cold blooded monster that would murder his own father. I mean I’m no Loki apologist, i love the kid but he’s killed, he’s manipulated, he’s hurt everyone around him, but i doubt he could ever kill Odin, no matter how much of a shitty father he is. Also low-key hated the whole “Loki if you betray me, ill kill you” Thor bullshit. We all know thor wouldn’t be able to do that, he still hopes Loki is his brother. 

-AGAIN, THE SNAKE SCENE WAS SO FUNNY. 

-”I thought the world of you Loki.” Ouch. 

-Hulk and Val’s bromance. 

-The entire Valkyrie v. Hela scene. It was so beautiful and ethereal i actually nutted. 

-LOKI DIDN’T NEED TO COME BACK. HE DIDN’T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE SHIP WITH THOR. HE DIDN’T NEED TO GO BACK TO ASGARD. HE COULD HAVE NOT. BUT HE DID. BECAUSE SOMEWHERE IN THERE UNDER THE SELFISHNESS MAYBE HE CARES.

-Loki’s face when odin called him his son. 

-Loki’s face when Hela told him to kneel. 

-Loki refusing to let Thor go back to Asgard. “Are you serious? you can’t be thinking of going back there, that’s madness!” is that? Loki cARING? 

-Loki’s character development. 

-thor in a jean jacket and hoodie in new york. 

-Thor spilling beer everywhere. 

-Loki letting Thor take the orgy ship. 

-Jeff Goldblum. Thats it. 

-LOKIS FACE WITH THOR AND ODIN ON THE ROOF OF THE CASTLE I SCREmed AFTER ALL LOKI DID HE WAS STILL PUT THERE AS A PRINCE OF ASGARD BYE.  

-”Hello father” “OH SHIT” 

-The entire play. Loki’s rule as a benevolent god/king in which, before everyone feared him for a dictatorship militaristic form of ruling he could have, but in reality he just like ate grapes and watched plays. 

-Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie. The crowned prince of asgard, wanting to be an elite team of woman warriors. 

-VAL IS GAY AND IN TESSA THOMPSONS WORDS, HAD A GIRLFRIEND THAT SACRIFICED HERSELF TO SAVE HER. 

-Val kicking Loki’s ass. 

-THE RETURN OF THE DOUBLE BLADES OUT OF NOWHERE. 

-Loki in a suit. 

-HEIMDALL I LOVEJWIFHTGE.

-”I thought you didn’t want to talk about it” “heres the thing” 

-”Hello!” “Hi” *blasts everyone in room with giant laser guns* 

-”What are you? Thor, god of hammers?” 

-IMMIGRANT SONG. 

-”i swear i left him right here” “where? on the street? Or in that nursing home thats being torn down?” 

“I’m not a witch” “Why do you dress like one then?” 

-Loki rolling his eyes when thor is approached by fans. 

-Loki calling stephen strange a shitty sorcerer and going at him with stabby hands. 

-Confirmation of loki’s love of stabbing. 

-Confirmation that Loki is a snake, and also Thor’s favorite snake.

-Loki reciting Thor’s prayer to odin with him mY SON. 

-The avengers parallel. “He’s my brother!” “adopted.” 

-”mbLERG ITS ME” 

-”AGH LOKI!” 

-’DIRECT ME TO WHO’S ASS I HAVE TO KICK” 

-”Where? the devil’s anus?” 

-Bruce fighting evil with fireworks. Good job sweetie. 

-Bruce flopping like a fish on the bifrost. 

-Thor and his sparkles. 

-Lightning eyes. 

-Odin finALLY DYING. THANK GOD. 

-*Loki on a death trip* ‘this is a terrible idea” 

-Loki somehow reciting a spell to bring surtur back. what a weirdo. how did he know that. 

-LOKI COMING BACK. 

-im here. 

-Loki

-Brodinson. 

-Thor and Bruce’s bromance. 

-Jane not being there. I mean it makes sense she dumped him, he left her for two years chasing down infinity stones and constantly almost dying while she had no way of contacting him because Thor’s ass didn’t know how to use fucking email. Also i just really honestly never liked her character to begin with, i mean sure i love that Jane is a strong, smart woman but tbh i just wanted to Fast forward every time she was on screen. 

-The cute death wolf. 

-”THATS HOW IT FEELS!” “sorry i just really like the sport” 

-THOR ACTUALLY BEING PORTRAYED AS LESS OF A JERK WITH CACTUSES SHOVED UP HIS RECTUM AND MORE LIKE THE SWEET, CHARMING, CHARISMATIC AND SLIGHTLY ARROGANT BUT MEANS WELL MAN HE IS. 

-Val being there as a cool as member of the team rather than just the love interest of Thor. Protect her at all cost even though she probs doesn’t even need it. 

-”I’VE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES” 

-Stan Lee’s cameo as the dude who cut Thor’s hair. Thank you for doing all of us a giant favor. Please do the same to Loki. 

-loki beating someone up with his horn hat. 

-Loki twirling his horn hat. 

-Loki being such a self serving, extra asshole that he came from the fucking fog screaming “YOUR SAVIOR HAS ARRIVED” 

-Bruce asking where tony was and then complaining about his tight crotch pants. 

-LOKI’S COSTUME CHANGE GOD I HATED THE OLD ONES BLESS UP. 

-Loki’s costume being mainly blue, black, and gold :-)))))))

-Loki being 100% done with everything that happens. 

-Val knocking Loki out when he makes her relive her trauma why do people ship this you go honey that was a dick move

-Thor throwing various things at Loki to make sure he’s not a mirage. 

-he’s a friend from work, something a kid from make a wish that met chris suggested, being in the film and all of the trailers. I hope that made that kid smile. 

-”In return, i wish to be granted safe passage through the anus” 

-LOKI FINALLY ACCEPTING THAT HE DIDN’T WANT THE THRONE WITHOUT A FAMILY. THAT HE’D RATHER WATCH HIS BROTHER TAKE IT AND STILL HAVE A BROTHER THAN HAVE A THRONE WITH NO ONE TO SHARE IT WITH. 

-LOKI SHOWING UP ON SCREEN DURING THOR’S CORONATION. 

-Loki being genuinely worried about and double checking if Thor really wants to bring him back to earth after what he did kill me honestly that would probably hurt less. 

-Loki’s face when thor said that going their separate ways was what Loki always wanted bc in reality that is the opposite go back. 

-Hela not being Loki’s daughter because 1) it proves that ya’ll should stop hoping that a comic soap opera about rich petty alien boys with daddy issues would be anything like classic norse mythology, and 2) when the fuck and how the fuck and why the fuck 

-Loki suggesting that he and Thor both rule over Sakaar together lmao ouch. 

-Loki just being really cute and quirky. 

-Thor being so fucking amazed by Val all the time. 

-”You’re late.” 

-”I saw you coming” “course you did.” 

-THE GUNS NAMED DES AND TROY I WANTED TO FUCKING DIE. 

What i didn’t like much; 

-Hela. I loved her character, but honestly here is where i think there might’ve been some failure despite how much i loved that movie. She seemed so out of place as a villain, and i feel like the whole related shit tried to mimic Guardians vol. 2, but honestly the fact that Thor didn’t care much about her made her feel so out of place. But i did like some parts, like how she was so disappointed about not being remembered or what her existence and disappointment did to how loki was raised. 

-Dr. Strange? Ok that was weird. It makes sense and it was funny to see him but to be honest i wasn’t into it. 

-tHE SCENE WITH VAL AND A GIRL BEING CUT. WHYWHYWHY

-tbh was not fond of frost master, don’t hate me. 

-Loki possibly taking the tesseract????? And hinting that he might turn evil again??? don’t do this to me marvel. 

-loki possibly being turned into the quirky sidekick of his brother. Loki is Thor’s equal, not his annoying little brother/wacky sidekick. I didn’t get that vibe often, but sometimes i did honestly. 

-RIP thor’s hammer. 

-ODIN BEING A PIECE OF SHIT YET AGAIN. 

-Hela’s entrance. it was so quick and like out of place i was like what wait, Loki and thor didn’t even have time to prepare or even mourn. 

-the comedy. It was its best and worst part of the movie. Sometimes it was tasteful. Other times it was too much. Thor and Loki didn’t even get to mourn for their dad who tbh was an asshole but still their dad before there was a annoying joke about kneeling. It took away from the story sometimes.

-the lack of hugging between thor and loki.

-The way they glossed over the warriors three’s death like they weren’t Thor’s closest friends and the only ones there for him when Odin tried to banish Thor to earth :-))))) I mean after all that shit he went through I’m pretty fucking sure it probably hasn’t caught up to him but ya bitch still pissed. 

-The way, Thor, who basically admitted that Loki actually meant the world to him and was the only family he had left, didn’t ask where he was after asgard exploded? Like tbh i get it, he trusts Loki, his brothers capable and strong and most of all really fucking smart, but i’d still be like :-) the fuck is Loki. I think this is a directing error though rather than like the characters fucking up but i was freaking out, i mean asgard was literally pebbles and everyone was out BUT my son. 

-No sif, i mean i get it Jaime Alexander was busy but like y'all could’ve explained smh. 

-Loki not getting a hair cut. When will his emo phase end. 

-Not getting that one flashback to 80′s asgard with mullets and emo loki. 

Overall it was pretty fucking cool, one of the best movies of the trilogy. I fell in love with the marvel cinematic universe all over again. But it wasn’t perfect. 

[thelifeoftiger]

November 11, 2021.

Hello. My name is Tiger and I’m a compulsive gambler. A little background about myself, I don’t wanna brag about how perfect my life was and how I ruined it. I have a loving wife named Marie As we were madly in love and we had a fairytale relationship of almost 5 years so far. I popped the question for her to be my girlfriend on March 16,2017 and I popped the question for her to be my wife on February 29, 2020. Marie has the sweetest heart and Im so lucky to have her in my life and for her to be my wife is such a blessing. she always was there for me no matter what it was she was there she was the best life partner you could ask for honestly. She was gods gift. Shout out to her cousin Sarah for getting her a job at the same place we both worked out and everything else was history. As good as this fairytale of my life was I ruined it. I have been a struggling compulsive gambler for about 6 years. I started this addiction without even noticing it when I became 18 years old. As much as it sounded like I had everything and everything what people would’ve wanted I threw it away because of my addiction. It has gotten progressively worse to the point where I ruined a lot of relationships in the process. I became a pathological lier, I became a thief and I didn’t care about anybody who loved me. Out of all the people I hurt the one who I loved the most and the person who loved me the most, my wife Marie. So it has gotten to a point where we had to separate which doesn’t mean divorce thank god that my life isn’t entirely over but this does mean at the moment, she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I completely understand I hurt her so much and I’ve became this toxic endless cycle of mess that she’s been trying to Keep and hold and has given me so many chances to change during our relationship. Here I am. The same addicted compulsive gambler with no change in me ever since I went to rehab on December 1,2020. Here I am now, this is my rock bottom this is honestly the lowest point in my life where I feel lonely and alone in this fighting myself, feeling like I have nothing. I decided that I should make a little blog and diary of my progress through this and for me to just let everything out and not hold anything in. This happened 2 days ago and during these two days I just was contemplating on life and deciding what to do and yet I went to go gamble again and really thought while I was doing this, “Do I really want this to be my life” is what I told myself. It was at this point where I am done. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of it all. I’m at the point where I fucking HATE gambling. I’m going to take it day by day because if I say I’m never going to gamble again is unrealistic. This is the time that enough is enough I want to take back my fairytale life I want my life back I want the old me back. I want to change myself. So today as I am writing this as my first blog. I am done. November 11,2021 is my last bet. My last time gambling. I want my wife back. I want my dogs back. I want my moms back. I want my brother back. I want my cousins back. I want my life back. I will hopefully be writing everyday tracking my progress and my thoughts. This is the life of me. Tiger.

[edmartinsta]

Nice To Think I’m Still On Here

Woah has life changed since this. Tumblr is my first place I ever published anything and posted anything before Facebook and Twitter were even a thing for me. I cant tell you how excited I am to know that from here on out I can log in and continue something special to my heart. My posts are a little here and there so I hope I dont scare you away or weird you out or make it boring. From this moment I’ll try to continue my content through here where I know only one person will actually know to find me and no one else haha. To those that may not know me so well I used to be a music blog where I would talk about so much stuff until I realized I wanted to make a website. This was more of a private thing and actually more public than it is now with Tumblr’s popularity back in 2010ish when everyone I thought was cool owned a Tumblr. I guess I can’t blame them I left for a long time this and fell off hard even though I probably could have done something pretty cool with it by now or used it to help me on my other things. 

Little update: I left high school in 2013 so not much after the music posts I remember stopping this and maybe continuing it here and there, After there I went to community college where I ended up making lost of memories which im sure I’ll have plenty of time reminiscing with you guys, I then moved to Chicago to follow my dreams as a designer and stayed out there for about four years. Was amazing and could have been better if I planned better and actually could get a job out there that was laidback as I was a pretty tardy asshole to my employers. I wasnt late by hours but I was late often and if that didnt get me fired I would simply quit and never show my face there again. It was a mess, I was a mess, everything was fucked up but everything was also new and fascinating. I dont regret any of it. Now its been years since college and sadly I never finished with a semester remaining. That was a terrible day for my mother I could see she wanted to yell and cry because I told her I got expelled basically from art school for flunking. Man that was a terrible situation I tried to tell people I really tried my best was just a reckless kid who could never get any sleep and was always thinking of what to do and not doing the stuff. Ugh I get upset just thinking about it. So much time wasted. But I suppose I at least realize it now....also that I still dont regret it, it shapes us these failures. im 25 now and soon to be 26 and honestly I’m scared shitless. I feel like i never saved anything, never built credit, havent gone on a date in years, havent gone to eat with friends more than five times in six years, have broken almost everything I own in some sort of way. i dont eat correctly all the time, i dont exercise to keep the figure i used to have less than two years ago. I started college senior year of high school and somehow still screwed up the process and fell behind over and over again and even got screwed by the education system and now have tons of debt which im barely getting out of because of my amazing mom who is also the most toxic person in my life. Man........i know I look bad i know i suck.....im not perfect in any way.....I lost my way..........I know my way back and what I gotta do but........that time ill never get back. Ive never had a stable job in my life for god sake. Ugh I hope I dont come off as a failure I feel it completely but I dont want to be one. I have done so much in my life and met amazing people that honestly makes it all worth something but damn my heart........I don’t want to blame anyone but myself. My parents werent the best educated and still scares me to think I was so alone when I was younger that even my parents only talked to me to put me down and still kinda do but now we can carry a conversation and bond a smidge...im 25......

This quickly turned into something more than just a update I got caught up. But I want to take this extra step in my life to document on here most of my thoughts and things as I used to back before high school culture was no more for me. To Christina.....if you read this at all...just know the only thing over the past couple years on my mind has been you if not my purpose in this life..my life....has been nothing short of terrible since we last talked and yeah I had a ton of good luck too and am blessed to say the least but the man I said I wanted to become just hasnt happened yet. I let myself go for a bit...but now I want to show the world and you...that the past couple years didnt just happen for nothing....there is so much, so fucking much I got planned and been planning for that I just hope you see why it took so long. My time will come..and maybe one day we can talk and laugh about all this because you were one of the most memorable people ever to cross paths with and even though we barely text each other anymore I hope one day we can be good friends again. Im sure we all been so busy surviving. 

To those who got this far I really didnt expect anyone to finish this. It was a huge ramble. But I hope you can see I came a bit moody into the post but also with hope and excitement that Tumblr will be my home again for getting away from social media. Its been almost two years since I posted on Facebook and I dont use instagram as much anymore so ill be on here :D message me if anyone wants to be friends or anyone who may relate heck anyone who thinks they wanna be friends haha penpals that maybe have art side to them too??? hahah okay thats all bye everyone <3

[applegelstore]

I actually wanted to wait with this until I hit, like, a nice follower count milestone or something like that, but… I felt like it. So, I just wanted to thank everyone of you who’s following this blog from the bottom of my heart. It’s still a pitifully small number, but I feel like I actually have loyal fans. So, thank you all for every single like, reblog, and especially those among you who commissioned me or even donated to my Ko-Fi! You know who you are. Some people also like or reblog my stuff frequently (you probably also know who you are), these people are heroes. Honestly, you are all so, so sweet, and you might not even know how much this means to me.

And the best thing? Your tags. No kidding.

Rest under cut for length. You’re not gonna regret clicking it, though!

I hardly ever got tags on my original art (which also got much less notes in general, but still!), but very often I get some on my fanart. And they’re… like… the best thing… ever? 
So what I did is this: I’ve collected some of the most ridiculous tags I ever got. I probably missed some of them, but I try to collect them all! I’m getting so many funny and/or sweet comments in the tags, you’re making me weep! Sometimes I got really long comments in the tags, and I’m speechless. I didn’t put those in here, but I wanted to share the most hilarious ones.

Without further ado and also without any context, I’m gonna share some of the funniest tags. (a few of them obviously were posted under the same images, but in general, I mixed these quotes up as wildly as I cold for maximum out of context hilarity). Like some kind of… gag reel.

Which ones are your favourites?

(alternatively, you can try to guess which image/post got which tag)

#goddammit hug her mikleo

#edna needs hugs just sayin'

#SOBBING

#MY BABIES

#YES PLEASE

#what the fuck this is adorable

#i love this a lot omg

# this fandom

# I am drawn more and more

#😭 good best beautiful;

#what is this sorcery

#yeutdkydlckhckh

#canon real perfect beautiful amazing

#rose my queen

#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#rip meebs

#!!!!!!

#bless

#excellent

#oh my god lol edna

#*Mikleo screeching in the distance*

#asedxrftghj

#awwww <3

#don't you yell at pun mama rose

#also Meebo is totally a Disney princess he just needs to get over his fear of dogs then he'll even have animals that love him

#Dhddlagjwlejh

#aaaaAAAAAA

#AAAAA

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#15/10 would recommend

#rose please marry me

#*crying dying noises*

#*gross sobbing*

#would also 100000% pay to transform dezel and zaveid into parrots though holy shit

#'im abraid your hair is going to need some work mikleo'

#'i dont mind combing over to do this'

#'you're really growing into your hair style'

#lailah is banned from helping

#'no need to turn this into a hairy situation'

#also wtf are 10-20 or 1000 shades of malevolence in a person 

#WHAT KIND OF STUPID DIALOGUE IS THAT  

#tag yourself i'm a category type 27 malevolence kaiju  

#game!sorey please use your mark-5 jaegar luzrov rulay to punch and purifying the SALT IN ME  

#dip 'im sorey d i p ' i m

#rip mikey boy though

#brotp for the ages

#/silent tears into the abyss

#hey...thgats fucking gay

#give rose a shepherd cloak 2k17

#!!!!

#GIVE SOREY A CAT 2KFOREVER

#TOTALLY AGREE OP

#honestly this is canon

#EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

#now I need a fic for this too

#i'm crying omg

#kfhdkf edna

#i cry :')))))

#please let mikey boy lay his head on sorey's lap and have sorey caress those alabaster locks

#petition to release metal band t-shirt costume DLC for velvet

#CONSTANT BITCHY RESTING FACE IM CRYING

#please marry each other :'''''')))))

#GOOD

#I'M LAUGHING SO HARD LAKJDSLFKJSDLFKJSDLKFJLSDKFJLSKJFLSKFJ

#her fujikgbd

#face

#GIVE YOUR GF A CLOAK ALISHA

#pretty much

#op's art keeps me living

#rose no

#edna plz

#JESUS F U C KING CHRIST SAVE MIKLEO

#*hyperventilates*

#hhhhhhhhhhh

#cy8cyciyvuf

#gay...............gay thank you

#omg

#i’m with you velvet

#beautiful

#jyyjdgjdkydjydkyfkyfyykfflflyfludkyfkydyidkydkyclhckhckhxkh

#tsutitdkhdkhdkgsykdkgxkgckhchcykfkycykfkycjt

#y e a hhhh h h hh h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h hh

#SO ACCURATE

#GIVE ME ALL THE ZESTY/DESTINY CROSSOVERS

#1000/10 will pay to get this as a DLC costume

#thiS IS SO GOOD GOD BLESS YOU

#[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] hi yeah this is my Jam

#BABY

#i always love when people make sorey do the tongue thing

#because he totally does the tongue thing

#i support this 800% a good post

#never ever forget dezel dual weilding twin trumpets

#meebs is beautiful with waves just sayin'

#i'm crying

#i love this

#AAAAAA

#oh my god

#edna's face i can't

#i just died

#rip meebo

#*plays My Heart Will Go On on kazoo*

#what a post

#sorey: miKLEO WILLL U MARRY ME

#mikleo: u idIOT DOn"T ELECTROCUTE URSELF

#sorey: ur right i am prty cute

#mikleo: did u even hear what i said

#rose what an icon

#my inspiration

#PURE

#perfect

#bye mikleo

#baby ******** is like something from a splendid lisa frank fever dream

#I laughed

#gaahhh this is too cute

#Jhwgshshaksehhwsnbxj

#15/10 they kiss after a performance and i cry a single tear

#the universal constant

#is sorey has NO SELF PRESERVATION

#LIKE NONE

#BOY WHERE IS IT

#YOU LEFT IT IN A RUIN SOMEWHERE DIDN'T YA

#GDI SOREY

#<- a memoir by mikleo

#MY SONS

#*sobs into hands* god this is lovely

#hush rose let him be

#was almost disappointed when the link didn't actually lead to part of your world

#this is so gold

#also the HEighT diFFEREncE ♡

#also thank you for the blessing that is mikleo clinging onto sorey's buff arm

#the sweet baby slumber party is off to a rollicking good start

#lkjsdlfkJ I'M ALL FOR SOREY DIPPING MIKLEO YES

#TOOOO FUCKIN GREAT

#IMGOING TO CRY

#TOO LATE ALREADY AM

#nerds omg

#aaaaaa

#edna NO

#kajfrbnkjrebdgkhrjgbnkurjthhgnkuihjiuHLUIHFLUhglnueh

#aaand I don't know the Protagonist-kun and Protagonist-chan's names yet so in my mind they are now named Losers thanks to your art xD

#no matter which game Edna will always roast everyone

#ohhhh nOOOOOOOOO

#run while you can meebo

#told you you were gonna pay for the toddler quip

#I LOVE TJIS

#the smol tsun tsun grump is a big softie deep down

#...deep...deep...very deep down

#omg

#awwww

#will someone

#will someone write this au please..

#but i love this!

#♡

#this feels so melancholic and also i need more

#this is a gold au idea

#someone please give Mikleo a hug

#friiiiick

#PHI PLS

#HEY YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WOULD BE WILLING

#SOMEONE WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH AN M AND ENDS WITH IKLEO I'M JUST SAYING

#SUGGESTING

#LAILAH....

#Y E S

#so cute awwww

#<3333333333

#dogs are for petting and torturing meebos

#ajenfnjen

#bless Rollo

#awwww cute

#omg yes

#omg

#RUN MEEBO

#gosh...

#bless everything

#ALKJSDFLKJSDLFKJDSF

#I M AO SSODSF

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

#I will never look at anything else ever again

#plz capitalize German nouns thx

#headcanon accepted!!

#BLESSED

#GOOD AND PURE CONTENT I LOVE THIS

#rip i love this artist and i love this post

*takes a deep breath* …I’m done. And I love you!

[boldandsepet-blog]

Period pain, what?

Aku tgh lunchtime ni. Since this office is all-girls office, so we talked about menstrual stuffs. Aku harap kalau ada lelaki baca blog aku ni (assalamualaikum jodoh hahahaha), silakan baca sampai habis dan selamat mengenali aku.

Tak, topic ni bukan taboo atau sensitif atau “ala malu lah” utk aku. Aku tak fhm kenapa malu bab ni. Malay culture maybe. But educating wise, we all should know. Yes, men should know.

Heard of PMS? Pre Menstrual Syndrome? That is the shit. It’s all about pain. pain pain and pain, gentlemen. Real pain shoved to your face.

Some women are F lucky they didnt get PMS, all joy and happy days. Some women like me?

Yes. Exactly. I get them all. You name it.

The worst is PERIOD PAIN/CRAMP. That tight feeling of your uterus being pulled and twisted and twisted and twisssssssssted and F it.

It hurts.

I made me angry, sad, “dont talk to me unless I started talking” mood, cry and sleep all at the same time. It’s tragic. Really tragic.

I have it almost every month and to bed I rest.

But one thing I find very annoying is how some people who never actually experience it, underestimate the pain. 

Dear Lord, I dont wanna be cruel to pray the pain goes to them but for one sec, I do wish it could happen. So they’ll know.

Your everything hurts. Your waist, your shoulder, head, butt, weh everything lah doh.

You wanna puke, cry, lempang orang all at once. Prior to the first day, you feel miserable, you give up on yourself, you get hungry all the F time, you get suuuuuuper sensitive, you feel like the world is against you, the again, you cry. Hahahaha. Apabenda seh.

Normally, I would sleep in all day. I like to drink cold mineral water. I dont feel like eating very much when on menstrual, but before it came, yeah I wanna eat everything. 

Aku ingat ada satu masa aku kena period pain dkt matriks probably, I woke up with a blanket on me and Idk who put it on me but I love that person, Allah bless her. (yes love, bury that in yr brain)

Aku rasa at the time rasa sakit tu, somehow I just want someone to stay by my side, tell me some good stories and let me fall asleep. Sometimes, oh F it, leave me alone peaches hahahaha

But yeah, period is about bleeding with pain but some are lucky they dont feel the pain. 

This whole post in confusing.  I felt like I need love and I need to yell “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT”. hahaha.

Good luck to all boyfriends and husbands. God bless to those who are very thoughtful, caring and most importantly patient.

That’s it. Im done.

24.1.2018

12.43pm

[winedwords]

Seven| Fade |Dunne

Title: Fade

Pairing; Past Trent Seven/Reader, Pete Dunne/Reader

Words; 2457

Summary; Now all I can do is say congratulations and fade into the background.

Warnings; Mildly NSFW. ANGST. Brief description of oral sex. Unhealthy coping methods. Minimal editing, because I will die like a boss. Drabble.

 A/N: repost from the old blog

Why was I even here?

I had been standing alone outside the church for thirty minutes, trying to collect myself.

My hands were shaking and clammy. My head was filled with ghosts of another life. It felt like there was an iceberg in my stomach, chilling me to the bone. Every part of my body felt like it was filled with slowly drying cement.

It was going to start soon.

I thought I had put this all behind me. I thought I had left the feelings for him in my early twenties. We were ancient history, better off as friends he said. And maybe we were, but my feelings had apparently never died. They only went from being a roaring bonfire to a dull ember. I was too selfish to actually let him go, accepting the friendship he had offered as a pale substitute for what I wanted.

Then that delicate cream and ivory invitation had turned up in my mail, stuffed haphazardly between a Vogue magazine and my light bill.

And now five years later…

I was woken by the warmth of the sun on my face, the smell of brewing coffee, and the feel of his mouth on my core, beard scratching at the delicate flesh of my inner thighs. My back bowed involuntarily and my hands travelled down underneath the sheets to grasp at the long hair between my thighs. He chuckled, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through me and my heels digging into the mattress.

“Trent…”

I was knocked out of recollections of lazy Sunday mornings past by a small silver flask being pressed into my hand.

“The ceremony starts in ten. Figured you might want some liquid courage before you go to your seat.”

God fucking bless Zack Sabre Jr.

I glanced gratefully at him as I took the flask and worked the cap off of the silver container. He looked sharp, the tailored suit of a groomsman fitting his long form perfectly. Without asking what mystery liquor was in the flask, I tilted my head back and took three hard pulls, the liquid searing my esophagus.

Whiskey.

God, I was turning into a regular American country song.

I was silent for another moment, savoring the almost unpleasant burn of the alcohol, and wiping my lipstick from the mouth of the flask.

“You’re a treasure Zack. I appreciate this.”

The lanky man’s face was soft, his eyes understanding. I frowned at the look, shaking my head. I handed him the flask back and turning on my heel.

“Don’t. Let’s just get this thing done.”

The eyes of our friends and the bride and groom’s families were like lasers as I walked in to the church. The chatter went from a dull roar to a murmur, the sound of my heels clicking against the stone floors echoing through the chapel as I took a seat in a pew towards the back. The mother of the bride had barely concealed her sneer at my appearance.

Momma Seven though… It was her eyes that were the hardest to meet. Even from my seat to the rear of the church, I could see the subtle quiver of her chin and the suspicious brightness of her eyes. She gave me a watery smile with a discreet nod and it took everything I had to force back the tears I could feel burning at the back of my eyes.

I didn’t know if I could do this.

“I’ve never seen my boy like this with anyone. You must be something special.”

I smiled, flushing from the roots of my hair to my chest. “You raised an excellent man Mrs. Seven, I’m just lucky that he chose to spend some time with me.”

The older woman leaned in close, the delicate scent of her perfume tickling my nose, her hand clasping mine.

“I look forward to the day you become my daughter.”

I was forcibly jarred from memories of the past by the music starting to announce the entrance of the bridal party.

I turned to face the bridal party a beat after everyone, the whiskey dulling my response time by just a hair. I was thankful that Zack had provided me with the whiskey before the ceremony because facing the faces of friends from both the present and the past before the love of my life’s wedding was going to be rough.

Scurll.

Nods exhanged.

Andrews.

More nodding.

Sabre.

A small smile was met with a weak one of my own.

Dunne.

A barely concealed snarl? Curious.

Bate.

His arched brows were met with a glower.

Then there he was.

Trent.

He was perfection in his tuxedo, his chest puffed out with pride as he began to walk down the aisle. The grin on his face was a mile wide and he was glowing as he looked over the gathered assembly of his family and friends. Then our eyes locked for just a second and I could feel my skin heat and the hair raise on the back of my neck before Trent continued down the aisle. It was the sight of his back to me that dispelled the warmth his look had inspired in me, leaving me cold and my stomach roiling.

“I love you (Y/N), I always will…”

The opening keys of Here Comes the Bride and we all stood. She was radiant in all white, the delicate veil pulled over her face, and my heart sunk at the stony look in her eyes as she saw me. She knew all about who I was and what I used to be. That it could have been me instead of her. That she might have been me, sitting in the pew.

And just as quick as the stoniness appeared, it disappeared. She was all grace and polish as she practically floated down the aisle, her arm hooked with that of her father.

“But I’m not in love with you anymore.”

I tuned the opening remarks of the priest out, staring unblinkingly at a spot just beyond where the bride and groom were now holding hands and staring lovingly at each other. If I were to glance to them, even for just a moment, I don’t know if I could keep it together.

“ If anyone feels this couple should not be united in Holy Matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Tension tore through the chapel. Some people not so discreetly turned their heads in my direction and I steeled my eyes, my lips pursed. The bride herself had turned her head ever so slightly in my direction and Pete had clenched his fists, his jaw tightening.

Time slowed.

I loved Trent. I loved him like a sailor loved the sea. I loved him like the sun loved the moon and the stars loved the sky. He was lazy Sundays spent in bed wrapped around each other. He was the dark, smoky nights in a pub, hunched over a beer with our thighs brushing against each other and hands clasped tightly together.

Trent was simultaneously this wild, passionate, all consuming love and steady, soft, comforting love. I respected him like one respects a force of nature and like one respects a healer.

A small, vocal part of me wanted to object loudly and vigorously. This was the little torch I still carried for him, five years later, that wanted to rage and riot and do everything in its power to convince Trent that he was making a mistake, that we still belonged together, that I wasn’t just a friend.

He’d made his choice.

And that choice wasn’t me.

I stayed silent, my eyes firmly on my shaking hands, and just as quickly as it came, the moment passed. The priest seemed to let out a breath of relief, before continuing on.

Pete’s heated eyes didn’t move from my form, the look on his face unreadable.

I owed Zack. The whiskey had been drunk on an empty stomach and the pleasant buzz in my veins had made a ceremony that should have left me broken and sobbing pass in a blur. I was still helpless to the way my breath hitched and my body seized when the priest announced them man and wife.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Trent, that sap, grabbed his new bride and dipped her into a deep, borderline inappropriate kiss.

He wasn’t mine anymore. He hadn’t been for a long time.

There had been a little bit of hope for that little candle I still carried for him. But now?

Trent Seven belonged to someone else.

Mamma Seven had come by the apartment I had shared with Trent before… everything fell apart.

I was just coming down the stairs, another box in my arms to load up into my little car. I’d seen her approaching and I tried to walk faster to avoid what was coming.

“(Y/N)?”

My shoulder shuddered, but I kept going.

For an older woman, she was fast and she had caught me by my elbow. I turned to look at her, my vision bleary from unshed tears.

“Oh sweetheart I am so sorry.”

It was when she wrapped me into a warm embrace that a wet sob wracked through my body.

“I told ‘im to not do it, y'know.”

I had been essentially hiding on the outskirts of the reception, sipping on my third Jack and ginger, waiting for an appropriate time to say my congratulations and goodbyes and leave. If I was going to be the most miserable person at this party, I was going to at least take advantage of the open bar. Pete, who had spoken was to my left, his expression inscrutable.

“Told him to not do what?”

I took a long pull from my drink, knowing exactly where this conversation was going to go and keeping my gaze away from his sharp face. If the younger man was going to bring up what should be ancient, buried history, I’d need something to make the dull the ache in my chest.

“I told ‘im not to send ya an invitation. Told ‘im it was fucked up.”

I snorted, shaking my head a little too long before sipping again at the near empty drink.

“We’re just friends, Peter. We’ve been just friends for a very, very long time.”

His laugh was condescending and harsh, head shaking. I glowered at him, as he took a sip of his own dark beverage. The smirk on his face made me want to hit him with something heavy.

“Yeah, darlin’ yer not foolin’ me. What ya feel towards Trent is the furthest thing from fuckin’ just friends.”

My knuckles were white from gripping the tumbler as hard as I was. I had to grit my teeth and employ every bit of willpower I had in my repertoire to keep from flinging the glass into his face. Pete’s smirk widened by just a fraction at my silence, leaning in much closer to me, his gray eyes darker than charcoal and almost predatory. Some primal portion of my psyche was very, very responsive to his body language and the way he was looking at me.

“If ya need it, ya can use me (Y/N). Ta get Trent out of your system. What he asked ya ta do was fucked and ya don’t deserve that. Ya can take it out on me. Ya might even enjoy it, I know I would.”

My cheeks filled with color at his words in a way that could be misconstrued as embarrassment or anger, but the way my thighs clenched involuntarily. I had been with other men since Trent, sure, but there was something about Pete…

“Put your money where your mouth is Peter.”

He looked triumphant as he stood, an arm proffered to me to bid our goodbyes to the bride and the groom.

I was guided by him to the table on the dais where the bride and groom were holding court over the reception with the bridal party.

“I’m gonna take off Trent. Congratulations.”

My smile was so much more confident than I actually felt, but the whiskey provided a false light to my eyes.

Trent’s face was soft and warm as he stood to hug me.

Fuck he even smelled the same as he did back then. The embrace was a long one, so much so that I could feel his bride shifting next to him.

“Thank you for coming, (Y/N). It really means a lot to me that you were here.”

I could feel my eyes going glassy and I had to blink rapidly to prevent them from filling.

“Anything for you Trent. I wish to you all the love and happiness in the world.”

His arms dropped away from around me, leaving me cold.

Pete’s jaw was tightened again, his eyes dark with something that most definitely was not the predatory lust from just moments earlier. He nodded his farewell to the bride and the groom as I spoke to the new Mrs. Seven.

“You looked beautiful. Treat him well would you?”

She nodded stiffly, her smile wooden and eyes sharp with distaste. Not that I could blame her.

Pete was practically glued to my side as we said our goodbyes to other friends. Mama Seven seized me into a firm hug and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek.

“Take your happiness where you can find it, (Y/N). You’re allowed to be happy.”

We turned to leave.

I didn’t see the steely glare that Trent sent to Pete, who had only responded with a victorious baring of his teeth.

I didn’t see Trent’s clenched fists as I left with the younger man’s thick arm draped dangerously low across my hips. I didn’t see Mamma Seven place a hand on the newly married man’s arm, her look stern and fiery. I didn’t hear her murmured words.

“You don’t get to have that feeling anymore, Trent. You made the decision.”

I did catch Zack’s disappointed stare and sober me would spend entirely too long dissecting that look and the consequences of my decisions.

I was going to lose myself in Pete and I was going to leave Trent and everything I had ever felt for him here at the reception hall.

The cab ride back to Pete’s flat was spent in his lap, the kisses feverish and desperate, the windows fogging. The cabby had grumbled about horny kids and Pete had just barked back to “Drive, old man.” before returning his mouth to mine, a hand disappearing up the hem of my dress.

If that took just one night or multiple nights, Pete had made clear that he was game for however long I would have him.

Maybe… just maybe.

[eludum-a]

500 follower follow forever!

it happened. god knows why so many of you are here, but apparently you like what i do, so... well, thank you! to everyone! but this is a very informal follow forever meant specifically for people i speak to regularly/people i consider my friends/people i feel i owe something to. i haven’t done anything like this since the 100 follower mark, so please bear with me. 

i felt like i needed to do this because, in the wise words of taako the wizard, “it doesn’t always have to be goof goof dildo. i’m traveling around with the boner squad and i never get to say... what i’m feeling! i have emotions!”

if you’re not here, please don’t feel like i don’t appreciate you! i only have the energy for so much love here in my body. if you’ve been inactive/are on hiatus, i might have missed you, and if we haven’t really talked a lot ooc, same thing applies.

(i have been working on this on and off for weeks. im so tired pls just let me be finished with it)

anyway, call outs below the cut!

@unsuspicious: cou, you send me so many baffling and strange images at all hours of the day. i had to lead up with this because where do you even get all those. anyway, you’re definitely the person i talk to the most every day, and it’s weird as shit to think that the last thing in tumblr messenger was me sending you the link to the discord channel. you’re a fantastic roleplayer when you actually roleplay and you’re fun to have around!

@hismalice: raz you are one of my favorite people on this god forsaken hell site and don’t ever forget that. if you need a reminder you can come back here and look at this and see this seal of approval, and also the mental image of me saying “no, fuck you” to your negative thoughts and then punching them in the face heaven slaying dragon fist style. if you ever wanna talk you know where to find me and it’s also ok if you don’t want to!! i’ll still be here regardless.

@cantalazarus: god bless the hinatatas, may they grow strong and powerful this year. amen. on a more real note: this is my official notice that i really appreciate you just... in general, as a person, even if im an asshole who has trouble with, like, Feelings and shit. so there’s that. same as with raz above, you obviously know where to find me whenever you wanna talk. and take as long as you need to recharge your batteries!! no rush

@mxssias: ALEX MY MAN... BOY... GUY! DUDE, PAL, WHATEVER. your naegi is LIT. i love the good good egg boy so much and you do him justice!! you don’t just focus on the lighter aspects of his character, but you recognize his various struggles as well! you’re also just a fun person to talk to and i’d love to do more naenami in the future of COURSE

@ayatsurii the sparkliest of cats! yo, sparkle, thank u for turning me on to pekonami because it’s so good and pure, and thank you also for trying to keep things from burning down in the chat when we get too rowdy (even if you’re not successful... we can’t be tamed). i look forward to future pekonami interactions!

@snappshot: sarah is wonderful at everything she does, sorry i dont make the rules. you’ve been around this blog for what feels like forever now?? first as mahiru (and your mahiru rly captured my heart) but also sayaka and kaede and your persona muses are equally wonderful! idk what i’d have done if you weren’t there to reassure me i was doing a good job. god bless sarah

@anemoia-avenoir / @ongakuvoices: rrrrrrrrIO! you’re lovely and you should know it. i know we don’t really talk much ooc but you definitely deserved a spot in here! your passion for your muses is incredible! your love for them shows in the details of your writing, and i know it can be frustrating sometimes to feel like you’re not good enough (believe me... i have been there many times), but believe me... you’re gonna do amazing things, i just know it.

@malchancevilain YOU STILL OWE ME 15 DOLLARS AND I AIM TO COLLECT, GREG GRIMALDIS. NO MATTER WHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE YOU ARE. ahem. we share a lot of common interests, watchy, and i really do love your luckgami, like, a lot. i love how different his background is without changing who he is fundamentally as a person, aka a snob

@shpionaz: *insert obligatory ‘like a boss’ joke here* ok now that we’ve gotten that over with,,, im so grateful i got a chance to play out the oumanami brotp interactions with you because that was on my wishlist almost as soon as i found out about their sprite similarities and we didn’t even have to try, it just happened. you’re first ouma in my heart forever and i can’t wait to do some things with your oc too!!

@gambogeish: it’s kind of ironic how i didn’t finish twewy until we became friends, when it was first gifted to me by my boyfriend... it’s probably just the difference in maturity/gaming ability from then to now, but ANYWAY: i am so glad to have met you. you’re one of the first people in the community i’ve really connected with, and you’re an awesome person who i’d love to roleplay with regardless of muse. i’ve got a virtual high five right here waiting for you. o/

@pseudxcode syd, god bless your chihiro, honestly. he’s such a sweet little guy and i love his interactions with chiaki! of course i’ve always been a fan of these two together (even when she’s NOT an AI created by him), because their talents complement each other so well! they’re good for each other. i’d love to see more chiaki & chihiro action, especially if it involves chiaki encouraging him and reassuring him that he’s not as weak as he thinks he is.

@kibcu / @krclowa we only recently started talking but you’re such a welcome addition to thotchat, liz! take that as you will. this one’s probably gonna be a bit short but im looking forward to platonic naenami interactions and ur sonia too! aunty nanami’s gonna babysit the hell out of those naegi kids (aka give them all smartphones and sit back and relax)

@synthxsizxr GOOD IDOL, BEST SISTER, AKI LOVES HER HARU even if she really doesnt understand the idol lifestyle like, at all. chi, you yourself are very sweet and kind, it’s wonderful having you here in this community! i hope you’re having a lot of fun with your talentswap chiaki and i hope 

@relixum / @lxckyclovers: i hope you two don’t mind that i put you together here. i know you’ve been busy with school lately (good luck with that, by the way!!) but i didn’t want you to think i forgot about you! you guys make a mom/dad/parental unit so proud. you’re wonderful writers and i hope you find happiness wherever you go. *bob belcher voice* you’re my family and i love you but you’re terrible, you’re all terrible.

@tcndcrloins levi you’re the other constant presence in thotchat and you’re such a fun person to have around. you’re so welcoming and comfortable in a sense that i never feel like i’m bothering you, and thats a pretty incredibly accomplishment considering how often i convince myself im annoying. get those drafts done, i believe in you!!

@delinqueon avery, you were probably the first person within the community i talked to one on one, and thank god you approached me because at that point i never would have had the courage to speak up! your leon is such a delight to interact with and so are your other characters. one day you’ll get me back for making you read the bee movie script out loud for fifteen minutes.... one day

@betraycd last but not least, first i have to thank fin for my current editing software that i still have yet to figure out even 10% of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but i’ll get there! fin, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i absolutely adore your souda, all of the time and effort you’ve put into his characterization and how you don’t ignore the uglier parts of his personality. he’s a lovely flawed boy and you really do him justice!

after word:

like any community with more than a few people, there have been ups and downs in the path few months. i wanted to add here as a general shout out that i have never felt so welcome and loved in a community that i originally would have thought would be more disjointed than what you might find on a forum. like, i’ve changed a lot thanks to you guys! i’ve been able to get over some of the hurdles of my social anxiety (i didnt jump over them so much as drag myself across the ground and painfully crawl over them) and i just... i feel good? i feel like people like me? there are still times where my anxiety insists i’m nothing but a useless burden, but i actually... feel like people enjoy having me around? holy shit!

i made some really cool new friends and got to know a different kind of roleplay community. im overall incredibly grateful for this wild and weird journey i’ve been on, and the journey certainly isn’t over by any means! i hope to keep seeing you guys around!

these words really arent even enough to express my gratitude. i havent been to some really dark places, but there for a while i felt like i was almost completely alone. i simply wasn’t connecting with other people like i wanted to. about 3-4 years ago i lost contact with (long story) my roleplay partners of 4 years and it wasn’t an easy thing to recover from, but i’m here now and it’s just... really good! incredible, even!

komussy