#id love to have my bed sideways up against the wall where like the head of the bed is against the closet but there is a heater . right ther

[refinedbuffoonery]

Flawless (7)

Con Artist AU. masterlist. 

Content Warning: swearing, PTSD, violence, sex

Before we get started here, you all need to know that Flawless will be going on a mini-hiatus. This chapter is the end of my original outline, and I need to spend some time planning out the next plot arc before I write the next chapter. 

(Also, shoutout to the lovely humans who translated the line in French. Y’all are the real MVPs.)

Anyway, this is it. The chapter you’ve all been waiting for. The heist. It feels so surreal to finally write it. As always, thank you for coming on this wild ride with me. ❤

*****

In the shadow of its brightly illuminated landmarks, Paris hummed to the tune of debauchery. 

Paparazzi gathered around the Louvre’s glass pyramid, waiting to capture a clear picture of a celebrity guest entering the afterparty. Riley shielded her face with her clutch as she walked in, careful to remain unidentifiable in the barrage of photos. The gold buttons on her emerald jacket-dress caught the warm light emanating from the pyramid and the bright camera flashes. She was well dressed, but not enough to stand out. Tonight, Riley needed to blend in. 

She ran a hand through her hair, making sure the loose curls covered her earpiece. For the sake of stealth, the team’s comms were skin color, but they were Nikki and Cage’s skin color, not Riley’s. 

Riley was half-tempted to throw her comms into one of the fountains out of spite. 

She was the last of the Five Eyes to arrive. They staggered their arrivals to avoid being associated with one another, as a precaution. Pulse thrumming in anticipation, Riley bounced on her toes slightly as she waited in line to check in. The Louvre security team meticulously checked each guest’s ID against the guest list; there would be no party crashers tonight. 

It had been all too easy for Riley to add the Five Eyes’ cover identities to the guest list a week ago. Now, she handed the stone-faced security guard a drivers’ license bearing her face and the name “Danika Jackson.” Returning her ID with a nod, the security guard stepped aside, allowing Riley to enter the party. 

Everyone is responsible for their own entrance and exit. That was her new rule. She got everyone’s names added to the guest list, but her assistance ended there. If someone ran into trouble, it was on them to bail themselves out. 

Riley had learned that rule from her mentor when she first dipped her toes into the world of two-faced schemes and nimble-fingered cons, but she never truly understood it—or saw the need to enforce it—until she felt the bite of handcuffs digging into her wrists. 

It was a mistake she’d never make again. 

Riley strolled through the hallway bearing massive Italian paintings, slowly making her way to the room containing the most overrated painting of all time—and the rendezvous point. 

The Mona Lisa room was empty aside from a blonde woman in a beaded, blood-red cocktail dress standing much too close to the glass-encased painting. Riley stood to the woman’s right and studied the painting as well. It was underwhelming. 

“You’d think the most beautiful woman in art would be wearing a prettier dress,” Nikki remarked.

Riley snorted, crossing her arms. “Says the woman who just bought a four-thousand-dollar cheetah print pantsuit.”

Nikki feigned offence. “You’re just jealous because you couldn’t pull it off. Anyway, quiz time. What year did da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa?” 

“1503,” Riley answered easily. “And the woman’s name is Lisa del Giocondo.” Nikki’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What’s that look for?” 

“I didn’t think you actually listen when I talk about art.” 

Riley offered her friend a small smile. “I’m always listening to you.” The sound of heels clicking down the hall made them pause. When the coast was clear, Riley murmured, “Is everyone in position?”

“Yeah. Desi and Sam should be inside already, and Jill checked in a few guests in front of me.”

“How did that go?”

“Easy peasy.” Nikki glanced at Riley and softened her tone. “Are we sure Jill is ready for this?”

“We’ll find out, won’t we? Don’t forget, it was your idea to recruit her.”

Nikki turned back to the Mona Lisa. “You know, you really do suck at pep talks.” 

“Oh shut up.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Are you sure you want control room duty?” 

Nikki spared her a sideways glance. “I’ll do it. You did it last time.” Her second sentence hung heavy in the air, a reminder of the job gone horribly wrong. And a reminder of all the things they still hadn’t talked about. 

Riley brushed it aside. They could talk after they were each forty million dollars richer. 

Pulling a flash drive hidden inside an old lipstick tube out of her clutch, Riley instructed, “Plug this in, and it’ll do half the work for you.” 

“Thanks.” Nikki put the tube in her own purse. “See you on the other side.” 

“Don’t get caught.” 

“Don’t get caught,” Nikki parroted, and Riley strode down the hall toward the party.

She followed the pulsing music and the stream of guests to a room in the far corner of the museum, passing the employee door Nikki would sneak into along the way. Crossing the threshold, she couldn’t conceal her gasp. Riley had seen plenty of opulent rooms over the years, but the Galerie d’Apollon was something else entirely. Gold moulding framed the dozens of paintings covering the walls and the arched ceiling. Display cases containing the French Crown Jewels formed a line down the middle of the rectangular room. Despite the party’s couture dress code, the bedazzled guests looked entirely underdressed compared to the grandeur of the gallery.

She only let herself be awestruck for a few seconds before getting to work, marking the exits and security cameras. Riley didn’t like how deep the gallery was in the museum—and how far she would have to walk to make a clean escape with the jewels. 

She would be the one walking out with them. No one else. Riley had made that crystal clear during the team planning meeting a few days ago. 

Draped in black fabric, the case containing the designer jewelry sat in the middle of the gallery. A security guard stood by it, no doubt to ward off nosey guests wanting a sneak peek. 

A wave of nausea passed through her, reminding Riley that the closest thing to a substantial meal she’d eaten all day was the two pastries she ate a few hours ago. She slipped through the crowd with practiced ease, heading for the snack table. Jill was already there, gorging herself on bread and cheese. Eyes wide, the blonde froze as Riley sidled next to her, evidently thinking she was in trouble. 

But Riley simply reached for a piece of bread and asked, “Which cheese is the best?” 

Exhaling audibly, Jill pointed a manicured, light blue nail. “That one.” Riley tried it. Jill was right; it was delicious. 

“You ready, Blondie?” Riley asked, lowering her voice. “There’s no job unless you get this right.” 

Jill rolled her shoulders back, snarking, “No pressure or anything.” There was a bite to her words, one Riley noticed only came out when someone, namely her, pushed the blonde a little too far. 

“Sorry,” Riley said, and she meant it. “You can do this. Don’t second-guess yourself. Commit.” 

Jill merely nodded, swallowing another piece of cheese. 

Riley wandered off, not wanting to stay with Jill too long. With her back to a wall, she scanned the room in search of Desi and Cage. When she didn’t see them on her first sweep, Riley furrowed her brow. Where the hell were they? 

A bright laugh carried across the room—Cage. There you are, Riley thought. She spied her teammate enjoying the spotlight in the center of a group of models all cooing over Cage’s pale pink dress. It suited Cage, with its billowy sleeves and flowy skirt that hit just below her knees. Cage giggled again, putting her hand on a woman’s shoulder a little too boldly for the gesture to be casual. 

Predictably, Desi wasn’t far away, staring daggers at her shameless flirt of a girlfriend. 

Riley unmuted her comms. “Easy there, Des. It’s just an act.” 

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” she snapped. Even from a distance, Riley could see Desi’s tight grip on her champagne flute. 

Riley cooed, “So jealous.” 

The woman wrapped a proprietary arm around Cage, clearly welcome to the blonde’s advances, and Cage beamed at her. 

It was enough to push Desi over the edge. “Don’t forget whose bed you’re sleeping in tonight, Samantha,” she snarled. “And I don’t remember agreeing to share.” 

Cage excused herself from the group. “My love, did it ever occur to you that I’m making you jealous on purpose? Because we both know—”

Nikki cut her off, rescuing the team from whatever filthy thing was about to come out of Cage’s mouth. “Don’t be gross, you two.” Riley stifled a laugh. She and Nikki had been subjected to many things they didn’t want to hear over the years. This would hardly faze her now.

Focus. They needed to focus. 

Riley finally spotted the sharp-eyed assistant she noticed at the runway show. Always two steps behind the designer, the young woman obediently trailed him as he floated from group to group. The assistant finished her drink, setting it on the tray of a passing waiter, and strode toward the main hallway in this wing of the museum. 

“I think she’s going to the bathroom,” Jill said. “Do I follow her?” 

Snagging a drink of her own, Riley answered, “No. Bump into her when she comes back.” She watched Jill make her way toward the far side of the gallery, ready to intercept the assistant and steal her keys. 

Everything was going to plan. Jill just had to steal the keys, and then all they had to do was hurry up and wait for the big reveal. Eight o’clock, Riley was told upon arrival. The designer would commence his speech at eight, then reveal his masterpiece to the world. 

Riley checked her watch. Thirty more minutes. 

She knew she’d been standing in this spot for too long already, but Riley was loath to give up the relative safety of having a wall at her back. The twinge of fear she’d felt earlier at the runway show came raging to the surface, rooting her stiletto-clad feet in place. Leaving the wall meant having people in her blind spot. No one’s going to hurt me, Riley promised herself. This is a party, not a prison. 

Her legs felt like lead weights, but Riley forced herself to re-enter the crowd, one agonizing stride at a time. She made it as far as the nearest display case before she had to stop, and her eyes landed on a tiara resting in the center of the display. Countless tiny diamonds formed flowery swoops and swirls, with a handful of emeralds scattered between them, filling what would otherwise be empty spaces. In the center, the diamonds framed a large, round emerald, mimicking the shape of a flower. 

It was exactly what Riley would have stolen had the Five Eyes agreed to rob the Louvre itself, rather than this party. Maybe she’d come back for it, one day. 

Using the case as a pseudo-wall, Riley took a deep breath and re-scanned the room in search of Jill. Unsurprisingly, Jill was exactly where Riley had last seen her.

She kept an eye on the recruit, knowing Desi and Cage were doing the same. Riley was impressed; Jill had quickly figured out how to linger without being obvious she was waiting for something. Jill mindlessly pushed up her glasses—the only visible sign of her nerves—and the movement drew Riley’s attention. 

But not to Jill. 

To another blond head, far behind her. One Riley desperately hoped to never see again. 

“We have a problem,” Desi said. 

“I saw.” 

Nikki’s ex-boyfriend stalked into the gallery, a taller, older man at his heels like a shadow—the same men who chased Riley, Nikki, and Jill through the taco shop a few weeks ago. 

Fuck.

Ducking her head to avoid being spotted, Riley hissed, “Nik, get your ass to the control room and lock the door behind you. We’ve got company.” 

“Already here. Accessing system controls as we speak. Whoever designed the security system in this place should be fired, because this is ridiculously simple. I should’ve left it in French just to keep it interesting.” A pause. "Who's here? Wait. No. Let me guess. Interpol? The mob? That bitchy designer I once robbed point-blank?" 

"Your ex." 

"Oh."

"You didn't tell him about our dream job, did you?" The words came out a little too accusatory, but Riley didn't care. She needed to know. 

"No! Of course I didn't. He— Look, I don't know why he's here, and we can figure that out later. Right now, you need to keep him busy. He's smart, Riles. Maybe even smarter than you. Be careful." 

Riley scoffed. "Smarter than me? We'll see about that." 

"I'm serious, Riley." 

But Riley ignored her, instead giving instructions of her own. "Cage, you watch Jill. Des—" 

"I've got the big one." Classic Desi, never letting her finish a sentence and yet always knowing what she was going to say. The habit was obnoxious at first, but over time Riley learned to appreciate it. "See the bulge on his left side? He keeps touching it." Desi said. "He's armed." 

“He’s what?” Jill exclaimed. 

Chuckling, Desi said, “Now look at my left side. We match.” A small, terrified squeak was the only response. “Well, what did you think I meant when I told you I’m the team’s exfil specialist?” 

“Not that!” 

“And Nik’s ex?” Riley asked, redirecting the conversation. 

“Seems clean.” 

“He is,” Nikki confirmed. “Mac hates guns.” 

“You know,” Riley said, studying the larger of the two men, “The other one kind of looks like a guy who dated my mom once.” 

“Really?” Desi asked. “Think he’s the same guy?” 

Riley took a closer look. He was tall, with broad, muscled shoulders and a buzzed haircut, and considering how often he fidgeted with his tie, he didn’t get dressed up often. He smiled at a passing waitress. He had an open, friendly smile, which totally contrasted with the systematic way he scanned the room. “Nah.”

Jill squawked, “Wait! Are we really still going through with this? Didn’t it just get a whole lot harder?” 

“You say harder, I say more fun,” Cage said. “Just stick to the plan. You’ll be fine.” 

Jill, it seemed, wasn’t so easily reassured. “Am I the only one who sees this is a trap?” 

“It’s only a trap when you don’t know about it. When you do, it’s a challenge,” Riley said. 

“But what if the plan goes wrong? Then what?” 

At the same time, all four women answered, “Improvise.” 

Riley muted her comms as she approached Nikki’s ex; Jill didn’t need the added distraction. Help her, Riley pleaded with the universe. You owe me. 

Pushing her concerns about Jill to the back of her mind, Riley studied her target. There was a champagne flute in the spy’s hand, but he didn’t drink it—not even a sip—and his methodical gaze swept the room, no doubt making note of each guest and who they interacted with. 

He was cute, she had to admit. Definitely Nikki’s type. 

Purposefully not watching where she was going, Riley collided with him, narrowly avoiding sloshing his drink onto her shoes. She pretended to stumble, and his free hand caught her waist, ensuring Riley stayed upright. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Pardon me.” 

His hand left her side. Frowning, he asked, “Do I know you?” 

Don’t lie. Evade. Her former mentor taught her that. 

Riley smirked. “I bet you use that line on every beautiful woman you stumble into.” 

“Only when I’m too blown away to say something original.” He winked. 

Maybe this would be easier than Riley anticipated. “Care to wander the museum with me while you practice your next line?” 

“Normally I would, but I just got out of a relationship, and I’m not looking to start anything new.” 

So much for that plan. 

His honesty, however, was surprising. 

“Not even a little fun?” she goaded, but Nikki’s ex declined once more before excusing himself and vanishing into the crowd. 

At least Desi had better luck keeping the other spy occupied. She had him cornered, her body carefully angled to prevent him from seeing the slight bulge from the gun hidden in her dress. The plunging neckline had two purposes—easy access to the gun holstered at her side while providing a distracting view of her chest and intricate tattoos. It was just enough to snag wandering eyes and keep them focused on the front of her body, rather than the side. To the spy’s credit, his eyes remained pointedly fixed on Desi’s face. 

“Got the keys,” Jill announced. Perfect timing. 

Riley breathed a sigh of relief. “Good work, Blondie.” 

Now, all they had to do was wait.

*****

While the designer yammered some pretentious bullshit about fine jewelry as the centerpiece of fashion and art, Riley slowly pushed her way to the front of the crowd gathering for the reveal. A few feet away, Cage did the same. Across from them—closest to the still-covered jewelry display case—Desi and Jill took their places. None of them were particularly interested by the designer’s speech, but Nikki would be hanging on every word if she were here. 

The designer rambled on, explaining how particular pieces among the French Crown Jewels influenced the designs of his own work. It was awfully arrogant, Riley thought, comparing his own work to such timeless pieces. The longer he spoke, the more Riley disliked him and didn’t feel even an ounce of guilt for robbing him. 

Lingering on the edge of the crowd, Nikki’s ex and his partner seemed content to remain out of the way. For all Riley cared, they could stay there all night. 

The gallery lights flickered once. A few guests glanced up nervously, but the majority remained transfixed on the designer. 

Nikki’s voice crackled through the comms. “Everyone ready? Nod once if you are.” Riley nodded. One by one, so did everyone else. “Alrighty then. Lights out in five…”

Riley counted the number of paces between her and Cage—six. 

“Four…”

Paces from Cage to the jewelry case—eight. 

“Three…”

Paces from the case back to her original position—ten. 

Two…

Closing her eyes, Riley waited. 

“One.” 

Several women shrieked when the lights went out. 

Riley opened her eyes, and before they’d even adjusted to the dark, she strode toward Cage. Six steps. She collided with Cage, dropping her purse on the ground and taking Cage’s identical one, containing replicas of the necklace and earrings. 

Cage shouted that someone stole her purse, causing a scene. She’d chatted and flirted with enough people throughout the night for her voice to be easily recognized, and a murmur broke out among the agitated crowd, creating just enough background noise to cover the sound of Riley’s heels clicking on the floor. 

Eight steps to the back side of the jewelry display. Riley could just make out Jill and Desi unlocking the case with the assistant’s keys. She braced for an alarm to sound, but there was nothing. Atta girl, Nikki. 

Riley opened the purse. Carefully, Desi replaced the real jewels with the fakes, depositing the real ones inside Cage’s purse. 

Jill locked the case and replaced the cover, and Riley returned to her original position among the crowd. The designer and his assistant remained oblivious to what transpired behind them, even as Jill slipped the keys back into the assistant’s dress pocket.

“Lights on in three,” Nikki warned. 

Emergency lights flickered on, casting a harsh white light over the murmuring crowd. A man angrily questioned what happened, followed by a chorus of “Yeah, what he said!”s in a variety of languages. The assistant urged the crowd to remain calm, promising everything would be sorted out shortly. 

Riley looked over her shoulder, searching for Nikki’s ex. He was nowhere to be found. She narrowed her eyes, but with two hundred million dollars worth of jewelry in her hand, Riley decided she didn’t particularly care. 

The woman Cage flirted with the longest stepped forward, picking up the purse Riley had tossed near Cage’s feet. “Isn’t this your purse?” she asked Cage. 

Riley’s teammate feigned embarrassment, gracefully reclaiming the purse. “Yes, that’s it. Thank you.” 

Just as an outraged Cage exclaimed the purse was empty, Riley melted into the dispersing crowd, slowly making her way toward the museum’s exit. That was the plan. She’d leave first, and once she escaped with the jewels, everyone else would exit as well. 

Riley retraced her steps, heels clicking on the hardwood flooring of the museum’s endless long hallways. She didn’t look at any of the art as she passed, not even a single glance. Art had always been more Nikki’s thing than hers. 

Weaving her way back to the exit, Riley prayed Nikki hadn’t missed any of the cameras. She was supposed to loop them all, allowing Riley to leave the museum unseen. But with each additional camera—some obvious, some not—Riley’s anxiety rose. 

Nikki knows what she’s doing, Riley reminded herself. She won’t let anything happen to me. 

Two years ago, that reassurance would’ve been enough. 

Now, her distrusting brain shot back, Are you sure? 

Riley didn’t dignify it with a response. 

Passing the museum’s security checkpoint, Riley smiled at a bored-looking security guard. “Vous partez déjà?” he asked. 

Riley hoped the security guard asked why she was leaving so soon. She never did get around to brushing up on her French. “Oui, I have a flight to catch.” Not a lie, although the flight wouldn’t take off until early tomorrow morning. 

The crisp night breeze prickled Riley’s bare skin. She took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill her lungs. For the first time that night, Riley finally felt her body start to relax. The vast, empty plaza felt so much safer than the packed gallery. Still not safe enough to let her guard down, but safer. Riley slipped her hand into the purse, fingers closing around an earring. It was surprisingly heavy in her palm. 

Another flawless job. The Five Eyes were back in business. 

She was halfway across the plaza when Nikki started cursing, but Riley didn’t slow. Everyone is responsible for their own exit. The job was done. No turning back now. 

There was a distinct male voice in the background, but Riley couldn’t make out what he said. 

“What do you mean, ‘I had a feeling you’d be here’?” Nikki demanded. “We haven’t spoken in months, Mac, and I know you didn’t track me here on your own.” 

Her ex’s voice was nothing more than a low, indiscernible rumble. 

“What?” Nikki whispered, her voice breaking mid-word. 

As much as Riley wanted to know what he said, she kept walking. But that didn’t stop the others from hissing Nikki’s name, demanding to know what was going on. 

Nikki yelped, and then the male voice purred, loud and clear, “I know you’re listening, Riley. Why don’t we go on that little walk now?” 

With a cold laugh, Riley said, “In your fucking dreams.” How did he know her name? As far as she knew, Nikki never mentioned her. 

Still, she kept walking. Everyone is responsible for their own exit. No matter what. 

Riley muted her comms, and Nikki’s piercing shriek filled her ear. A muffled grunt followed.

Then nothing. 

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. 

“Riley, you need to come back,” Jill pleaded. “Nikki needs help.” 

She didn’t answer, clenching her jaw with the effort to keep silent. An airplane flew overhead, and Riley tracked its path across the sky. Every step brought Riley closer to her own flight home—and the freedom that entailed. Turning around now would only put that in jeopardy. 

But every step also took her away from her best friend. The woman she once believed she’d do anything for. 

Jill was overreacting, Riley reasoned. Nikki was more than capable of getting herself out of a bind. Riley lost track of the number of impossible situations she and Nikki had found themselves in over the years, and they always found a way to escape. 

“Sam is getting Jill out,” Desi said, slightly out of breath. “Riles, I don’t think I can get Nikki out on my own. Jill is right. You need to come back.” 

Riley faltered. If Desi thought there was a problem, then something must’ve gone really, really wrong. 

Maybe Jill wasn’t overreacting after all. 

“Des—” Cage started. “They opened the case.” 

“So?” 

“They know the jewels are fake. If Riley comes back, it won’t just be Nikki going to prison.” 

Prison. 

Riley didn’t think she was breathing. Heart thudding wildly, her stomach tied itself into knots, and her clothes became damp with sweat. The sense of safety she’d felt earlier was gone, and Riley fought the urge to run. Every little noise—traffic, pedestrian chatter, a siren in the distance—was coming for her, ready to drag her into some dark hole she’d never emerge from. 

Nothing was logical anymore, like the part of her brain capable of rational thought had gone to sleep. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, trying to wake up, but it was no use. 

Run, while you still have the chance, her body screamed. 

Everyone is responsible for their own exit, her brain repeated. 

She needed to turn around. Nikki couldn’t go to prison. 

Two years ago, Riley had gone to prison in Nikki’s stead. She let herself be arrested to protect her friends. Her family. 

If Nikki went to prison now, then Riley’s sacrifice would be in vain. 

But Riley’s body refused to turn around. Her worst memories from prison flashed before her eyes—ones Riley desperately wanted to forget—like a cougar crouching in the shadows, waiting for the exact moment she was at her weakest to pounce. 

She couldn’t go back there. She couldn’t go through that again. 

She wouldn’t survive it twice. 

“Riles,” Nikki pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper. “Where are you?” 

Run, that voice in her head said. Don’t look back. 

Her steps were slower now, less sure. But Riley didn’t stop. She couldn’t. 

“I need you.” 

Save yourself, girl. 

“I’m sorry,” Riley whispered, but her comms were still muted. With a shaking hand, Riley unmuted them one last time. 

It’s better this way, the voice promised. You’ll see. 

It was all too easy to slip into the brutal, emotionless persona she’d built while in prison, the process having become instinct. It was necessary then, to keep her safe and alive. Now, it did the same, preventing Riley from making a mistake every cell in her body knew she wouldn’t come back from. 

In a cold, unflinching voice, Riley said, “Everyone is responsible for their own exit.” 

She threw her earpiece into a nearby fountain, and the click of her stilettos echoed in the night. 

~ Tag List ~ Want to be added? Send me an ask.

@macrileyedits / @hellishrose / @losingitovermacriley​ / @mylifequotesshowallofthem / @thecarrieonokay / @holbytlanna​ /

[aria-i-adagio]

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? What are their primary love languages? Who’s the better cook? (for Handers!) - the-iron-orchid

Thank you, @the-iron-orchid!

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Oh, Anders is definitely the one whispering the inappropriate things in Hawke’s ear. He is the id of this relationship after all.

Not that Hawke is complaining.

What are their primary love languages?

I always have to stop and look up the whole love languages thing. Kinda like enneagram numbers. Cultivating a deliberate agnosis for my own nefarious reasons.

Anders and Adrian are both touch starved cuddlebugs, and Adrian rates very high on giving acts of service.

[Realizing that all my OCs/canon characters I project too much onto are touch starved cuddlebugs... hmm... anyone want to come snuggle and let me make you delicious food and baked goods? I am a very good cook.]

Who’s the better cook?

I - in my infinite wisdom and mercy as a writer - determined that fugitive Anders needed a hobby, and I gave him a cookbook to play around with while in hiding. As of the present moment in my personal little world state, our recovering ascetic is well on his way to becoming a decent, if somewhat rustic, chef. He has also perfected moonshine and if Hawke ever gets his chickens, Anders is definitely going to start aging the stuff

Adrian can scramble eggs and make coffee. But he has to make coffee before trying to toast bread, or he burns it.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? No, of course not, not for three years of Isabela having to watch them pining. Oh no. Definitely not.

This is begging me to just post the first chapter of Risk. The truly naughty bits are in chapter two and you’ll have to go to the AO3 for those. And then tell me if I should finish futzing with the half-drafted and half daft chapter three.

---

Hawke doesn't know where Varric found this particular tabletop game. Not that it matters, he's thoroughly enjoying the premise of guiding pewter toy soldiers through taking over one region of Thedas at a time. Isabela seems less enchanted, complaining that the rules are attached against her because if she just had a navy, and isn't it cheating that Hawke and Anders have formed a truce with each other to wipe her off the map.

Varric laughs and shrugs off her complaint. "Strategy is strategy."

"What truce?" Adrian smiles innocently enough; although under the table, Anders' left hand has been gradually moving up his thigh. "We haven't discussed anything with each other."

"Nope, nothing." Anders drinks from his third - or fourth pint of beer - Justice must be giving him the night off from the no drunkenness rule. That happens sometimes, when Hawke is lucky "Just roll the dice, 'Bela."

"Sure, boys, no special code you're tapping out with your feet ?" She's down to two units in a region Hawke is attacking with ten. Anders has the region on the other side of hers and wore her down on his prior turn, stopping without taking the region or overly weakening his own position.

Varric crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. "I'm planning to enjoy what happens when they have to turn on each other."

"Oh yes." Isabela picks up her dice and shakes them in her hand. "Who will come out on top? A scintillating question. Drat!" Her roll turns up snake eyes to Hawke's mediocre four, three, and two. "Anders, if I find out you've cursed these dice -"

"We're not even playing for money, 'Bela."

"Yeah, yeah -" She clears her soldiers from the region. "Just honor. It's all yours, sweetling."

"You've still got half of Orlais and the Frostback Basin. You're hardly out."

She smirks and gestures to one of the barmaids for another pitcher. "Aye, and the longer I keep those the longer it's going to take for you two to solve that question of who's going to be on top."

Merrill is barely hanging on to Seheron and a random province in Tevinter. "Oh, I think Anders has the stronger position, he's basically got Hawke's armies surrounded."

Anders hides a blush behind another drink. Varric snorts and Isabela sighs. "Kitten, that's not quite what we're talking about. And you -" She points a finger at Anders like she's reprimanding a sailor. "Are hardly a blushing virgin."

Hawke just shifts his weight a bit, nudging Anders' thigh with his knee. Keep going. He can't actually move his own hand quick enough under the table to slide Anders' fingers further around and up without Isabela noticing. But she's going to give them grief no matter what.

"Well, what are you talking about then?"

"The eventual conclusion to a most drawn out case of two idiots pining after each other."

"What does that have to do with who wins the game?"

"It's a metaphor, Daisy. Not a very good one."

"Does it have something to do with sex? I'm always missing the ones that have to do with sex."

Anders chokes on his beer. Hawke pats his back, then leaves his hand there just above his belt. The Hanged Man is warm tonight, the feathery jacket is hanging on the wall, and Hawke can feel Anders' spine through the written out fabric of his shirt.

"I should make a hand where I can see 'em rule," Isabela grouses. "No idea what little card tricks you boys are up to over there."

"What?" Hawke walks his fingers up Anders' back and wonders how much longer he can stand Anders' fingers tracing spirals over the inside of his thigh before he just throws the game, grabs Anders' by the collar and kisses and/or shakes him until he's forgotten whatever protests he prepared about this not being a good idea, Anders is a dangerous person to be with, Hawke doesn't really know him, et cetera, et cetera. "I would never try to cheat. At least, not with you."

Merrill actually wins the game after patiently building up a massive number of armies in Seheron and sweeping through all of Thedas in a single turn. Never forget to keep an eye on the quiet ones. She smiles prettily as Varric and Hawke start picking up the pieces of the game, and then asks Isabela again if she'll explain the metaphor.

Isabela lays her head down on the table with a groan. "I need more alcohol for this."

Varric, being Varric, chuckles and then enables, ordering another two pitchers for the table.

Hawke gives up any pretense of coyness during Isabela's tutoring session and sits sideways on the bench with his back against the wall and his legs over Anders' lap, giggling as Isabela makes increasingly vulgar gestures with her hands and then steals Varric's notebook and ink to improvise illustrations. She's not a very good artist.

Merrill's wide eyes get wider. "Oh, oh. But -" She blinks rapidly. "What if it's two women?"

"Well, it's kind of a loose metaphor anyway, to be entirely honest." Isabela changes around how she's holding her hands again. "You see not everything comes down to insertions."

"Andraste's knicker weasels, 'Bela!"

"Knickers can be involved or not. Weasels, well, at least the animal type are less common. Now, the Chantry only talks about Andraste's husbands, but I heard this one -"

"You're going to confuse her even more." Anders moves Hawke's legs out of his lap and leans over the table. "It's simple Merrill. In sex, some people really prefer to get, some people really prefer to give, and most people are somewhere in the middle and like doing a bit both. And then you have Isabela, who likes to tease."

"Guilty as charged. In bed and out."

"What does that have to do with a board game though?"

Hawke laughs. Anders covers his face with both hands. "Oh, Maker. I'm done here. And this is as much of an answer as you're getting, 'Bela." He turns toward Hawke, who isn't expecting and had only cautiously been hoping to be grabbed by the shoulders and kissed on the mouth and thus, very nearly loses his balance when he is. He's quick enough to topple toward Anders instead of over the table, steading himself with hands at Anders' skinny waist, and kissing him back before the moment can be lost.

"Finally!" Isabela applauds. "I thought I was going to have to spend the night with Hawke, which would be terribly awkward as he doesn't like women."

Hawke raises a middle finger in her general direction and earns a delighted cackle.

"But Hawke spends a lot of time with you, and me, and even Aveline. We're women?"

Varric pours more beer for himself and Merrill. "That's, um, not at all what she means, Daisy."

Anders rolls his eyes. He stands up and pulls Hawke with him. "Your place or mine is a stupid question, isn't it?"

"A very stupid question." Hawke grabs their jackets off the wall. Honestly, right now, either would do, but it's about the same distance and Hawke has a significantly nice bed. If they make it that far.

"I expect a full report in the morning, Hawke," Isabela shouts as they're walking out. "Might have bets riding on it."

"Fuck you, 'Bela." Hawke says with a glance back over his shoulder and a broad smile. He's closer to amused than annoyed. She had quite effectively forced Anders' hand in the little game he and Hawke had been playing for weeks. Maybe overdone it, but she'd done it. Isabela winks and flashes him two thumbs up before making a 'get going now' gesture.

"No, you won't. Don't forget the electricity thing."

"The electricity thing? Is that another metaphor?"

"Goodnight, Merrill."

[brianandthemays]

Paper Rings (Ben Hardy x reader)

Hello!!! First of all: Thank you to @queen-irl-af for beta reading and helping me out!! Love ya! Second! I used the song Paper Rings by Taylor Swift as the main inspiration so give it a listen

Third: There will be a second part coming out soonish!!!!!

and as always: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG, SEND AN ASK, COMMENT, AND LIKE! YOU’RE YOUR FEEDBACK MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!

Warnings: There is slight smut so 18+ only, please. If I find out you’re underage I will have to block you! Also fluff, angst, and fluff. It’s kinda cute

Word Count: 5.8K

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The house was foggy with smoke. When your friend invited you to this party you didn’t realize that people would basically just be smoking weed the whole time. Now you were stuck sitting in the corner with a drink in your hand, watching as your friend, and ride, climb high enough to cloud nine. You swiped out your phone and groaned when you realized it was dead. Taking the final sip of your drink you stood to pour yourself another one. You grabbed a drink and started to pour when you glanced outside. There was a guy out there, smoking what looked like a cigarette and just looking up at the sky. You grabbed your drink and walked towards him. When you opened the door, he glanced back at you nodding in acknowledgment. You shot him a smile and wrapped your arms around yourself, it was colder than you’d thought I’d be.

           “Cold in’nit,” he commented, bringing his cigarette to his mouth.

           “Yeah.” You shivered and glanced up at the sky. “Moon looks nice.”

He shrugged and blew out some smoke. You gave him a sideways glance before walking over to one of the patio chairs to sit down. The smoke from his cigarette was nauseating but not as bad as the pungent smell of the weed inside. You took a moment to take him in. Up close you could tell he was quite attractive. His eyes were a unique color of green and he had blonde hair with a few curls in it. You could tell he was fit under his clothes and you felt drawn to him.

           “Not your scene?” he asked, nodding inside. You glanced up at him, breaking out of your observation.

You shook your head. “Smoking anything usually makes me sick.”

           “Go home,” he suggested.

           “My ride is high as a kite right now,” you explained with a chuckle. “So, I guess I’m stuck here.” He put out his cigarette and threw it in the trashcan outside. “What about you?”

           “My vice is cigarettes. I’ll get high every now and then but not nearly as often,” he replied. “I’m Ben Jones by the way.”

You looked up at him; he was holding out his hand to you, so you took it. “(Y/N).”

His hand was slightly calloused and brushed your hand the right way, sending a shock down your arm. You swallowed thickly looked at his emerald eyes. He let go and cleared his throat.

           “I’m friends with Rog,” he explained. “My flatmate first year.”

           “Cheryl’s my friend,” you offered. “I think she’s got a thing for Rog.”

           “Is she the chick with blonde highlights?” he questioned looking through the glass door.

You furrowed your eyebrows standing up to stand next to him. There in Roger’s lap was Cheryl practically eating his face off. His hand was on her breast as they swallowed each other and you groaned, officially coming to terms with your fate.

           “That’s her,” you conceded, putting your face in your hands. He laughed and brought a hand to your shoulder in comfort. The shock was back, sending electricity down your back. You looked over at him, a smile on your lips and a lip between your teeth. He licked his lips and smirked at you. Boy, the smirk was really doing something to you. He turned towards you, shortening the distance between the two o fup. 

           “You live far?” he murmured, his breath fanning across your face.Your heart was pounding as you shook your head, staring up at him through your eyelashes and he continued. “Maybe I can take you home.”

You raised an eyebrow and he copied, as if challenging you to resist him. Of course, how could you say no to the magnetic pull that was taking force on you?

           “Please,” you answered, your own playful smirk on your face. “Take me home.”

His smirk turned into a smile and he reached won to grab your hand. You gasped and almost spilt your drink as he tugged you inside.

           “Slow down!” you shouted, trying not to laugh.

           “Shit, sorry,” he apologized, coming to a stop.

You gulped down the rest of your drink and threw your cup onto the counter. “Okay, let’s go.”

The two of you run out of the house to his car. The second you shut your door you reach over and grab his shirt bringing him to your lips. He brought his hand to the back of your head, roughly smashing you further into him.  You bit his bottom lip and pulled back slightly.

           “Take me home.”

The second you got to his house, he had you against the wall. His lips touching every inch of exposed skin. Every kiss left fire in it’s wake and you felt like you would burn down. He pulled back enough to pull your shirt over your head but then immediately latched his lips back to your throat. His hands reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall down your arms to the floor.

           “God, you’re so beautiful,” He sighed, pulling back to look at you. You felt so adored under his gaze; the way he looked at you was so adoring it made your breath catch in your throat.

He brought his lips down to your chest, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You let a moan out of your mouth tangling your fingers in his hair. You found you hips bucking forward, looking for some kind of friction. Ben slotted a leg between yours allowing you to grind against his thigh as he suckled on your breast. He moved his lips right above your nipples and suck a mark into your skin, causing you to whimper. He pressed one more kiss to it before moving up to kiss your lips again.

           “Please just fuck me,” you groaned against his lips.

He smirked and pulled you away from the wall. “That can be arranged.”

The rest of the night was a blur of pleasure. But the whole time, it felt so different from your other hookups. He was so loving and delicate. Every step of the way making sure you were okay and comfortable. When it was done, he made sure to clean up and take care of you before collapsing next to you.  You laid awake starring at the ceiling, breathless. Who was this guy? Ben… Ben who? You needed to get up and charge your phone so you could get out of here.

You glanced over at the man next to you satisfied that he was truly asleep before getting up and wandering around the room. Next to his bed you found and out lit with a plug in it and plugged your phone in. He mumbled in his sleep on the bed but didn’t stir as you waited for your phone to turn back on. Eventually, it lit up in the dark and you glanced over at Ben to make sure he didn’t wake up. So far you were in the clear. Once your phone loaded up, you went to google maps to see how far your house was. It wasn’t far, the lyft wouldn’t be too much. 

The closest lyft was 10 minutes away, so you had some time. Now, who was this guy? He said his name was Ben… but Ben what? You looked over at him to make sure he was still passed out before crawling to look at his wallet. Broke, not that you were going to take his money. There was his ID. Ben Jones. Ben Jones was the name of the incredibly attractive man snoring loudly on the bed next to you.

Then your phone dinged, letting you know your lyft was close. You felt kinda bad, but you couldn’t stay there. Instead, you wrote a note. Grabbing a pen from his kitchen you scribbled a note on a piece of paper.

           Thanks for the great night, maybe see you around.

                          X (Y/N)

The next morning, you woke up with a headache. You groaned and looked over at the clock; it was noon. You furrowed your eyebrows and put a hand to your forehead. Then in through the door came Cheryl.

           “Where the fuck were you last night?” she screeched, glaring at you.

           “Shut up! Shut up!” you grumbled at her, your head pounding.

She came over to the side of the bed and sat down.

“You ditched me!” she continued loudly. You rolled over and put your pillow on your head to block her out. “Where did you go?”

Then it came back to you. Going outside, leaving with that guy, oh my god. Ben. Ben Jones. The amazingly attractive man you had sex with last night. You sat up and looked over at Cheryl.

           “What?”

           “What do you know about Ben Jones?” you asked hesitantly.

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

           “You didn’t…” she gasped. You buried your face in your hands and she squealed causing you to cringe again.  “Ben Jones? As in rugby playing actor Ben Jones?” You reached over and grabbed your phone, ow at 100%, you opened Instagram. “I almost got with Roger, but he forgot my name. Called me Charlotte or something.”

She kept talking but you tuned her out, looking up “Ben Jones” on Instagram. He popped up quickly, pictures of him playing rugby and ads for shows he was in littered his feed. He was, without a doubt, quite attractive. But there was also something childish in his eyes. A goofy look in his smile. You found yourself smiling to yourself.

           “Are you even listening to me?” Cheryl humphed. You mumbled an apology before throwing off the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you going?”

           “We’re out of milk!” you called back to her. Really you just had to get out of the house. You had to get some fresh air and call Joe.

           “If you’re going to the store, can you get some cheese too? I need to make my quiche!”

You headed out into the London air. The first thing you did was call Joe. Joe had been your friend since you were little. Your best friend to be exact.

           “Joe!” you shouted when he answered.

           “Dear God, don’t shout into the phone,” he retorted. “What’s going on?”

You told him everything. The party and everything that happened after. The intimate moments with Ben that were delicate and careful. The way his touch sent flames down your spine. Finding out he was a rugby player and, most importantly, how his stupid goofy smile wouldn’t leave your mind.

           “Damn, you’ve been in London for one semester and you’re already fitting in!” he commented.

           “Shut up, totally not the right thing to be focusing on right now!” you hissed. “The problem is I left this morning and now I don’t have any way to find him.”

           “Did you—”

           “Yes, I stalked him on the internet,” you interrupted. “He’s a certified hottie.”

           “Well chica, maybe message him,” Joe suggested.

You cringed, walking into the supermarket. “Not exactly subtle, Joe.”

Joe scoffed over the phone and you made your way to the cheese aisle. Cheryl’s cheese choices were very specific and had to be a certain brand or she’d make you go back, and that was not your ideal day.

           “Are you going for subtly?” he asked. 

You grunted, grabbing the cheese you know she likes before heading to the dairy section. As you turned the corner, and froze, turning right back into the aisle.

           “Joe, omigod, he’s right there,” you growled into the phone. “what do I do?”

Joe laughed loudly and you frowned. “Okay, don’t worry, just don’t give him a cold shoulder, that’ll make your situation even worse. Maybe say something, did he see you?”

You peaked around the corner again and he was still looking at some bottles of wine. Lord, his eyes were almost as green as the wine bottles. You pulled back into the aisle, smiling at an elderly woman as she walked back.

           “I don’t think so,” you told him.

           “Okay here’s what you’re gonna do,” Joe started. “You’re gonna walk up to him and casually tell him that you want him to wreck you every night for the rest of your life.”

           “JOE!” you whisper shouted.

           “Am I wrong?” he defended. “Now go and call me back later.”

Then he hung up and you cursed under your breath. Then you sucked a large breath and walk out of the aisle. You approached him and he looked up. His eyes flashed with recognition, and a smirk started to come over his lips. Flashes of the night before hitting you hard. His lips on your chest, on your stomach, on your thighs, on your... oh lord. And you panicked. And instead of walking towards him, you walked right past him, feeling his eyes follow you past him. You mentally slapped your forehead and turned around, but he was gone.

           “Fuck.”

You didn’t see him again for a few weeks, maybe a month when Cheryl invited you to another party. You were hesitant to go, not wanting a repeat of last time but she wore you down. And again you found yourself standing by yourself in a corner. You took out your phone and you swore it was déjà vu. Your damn phone was almost dead, again.

           “You need a charger?” a deep voice behind offered. You turned and saw him, and those deep eyes. You nodded, suddenly finding your voice gone. “Ah, so you do remember me.”

You scrunched your mouth into a smile. “Ben… right.”

           “That’s right, (Y/N),” he chuckled. The way he said your name sent a shiver down your back. “Thought you might’ve been too drunk to remember.”

You frowned, that was rude. “I had only had one drink,” You defended.

           “Oh, was that rude?” He raised his eyebrows, a playful look in his eyes. “I was confused because I saw you in the supermarket, the next day. And you gave me a cold shoulder.”

Fuck. He had you on a line and you took the bait. He held out a charger to you and you took it, deliberately brushing your fingers against his, trying not to show the effect he was having on you. You turned from him and started searching for a plug.

           “Nothing to say to that?” he prompted, hoping to reel you in.

           “What can I say?” you returned over your shoulder. “Sorry I hurt your feelings.”

He let out a huff of air, smiling at you. Two could play at this game. The only question was who would cave first. But who knew if he’d been thinking about you like you’d been thinking about him? All you could do was hope and pray you didn’t make a fool out of yourself again. You finally found a plug and got your phone charging before turning back to Ben, who had been following you around.

           “What brings you back out to the party?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

You smiled coyly at him. “Something in air, I guess. And you?”

           “Call it intuition,” he replied, a smirk pasted on his face.

God you wanted him. You wanted to feel the same passion you had last time. You wanted to feel his hands roam your body, sending flames spiraling around your body. That couldn’t have been the same feeling you had every time you hooked up with someone. But you couldn’t let it be that easy no matter how much you wanted it. And you could feel his want too, it was practically radiating off of him. But the longer you made him wait, the better it would feel.

           “Wow, great minds… huh,” you quipped.

           “Suppose so,” he answered.

There was silence between you. An eye game. His eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips and your body. Yours stayed put on his eyes, watching him as he looked you over. God you wanted him. His lips were so perfect and you wanted to feel them all over your body.

           “So, do you want to…” He motioned with his hand towards the door. You had him right where you wanted him, and you knew what you had to do, no matter how much your body was telling you to do the opposite.

           “Actually, no… I don’t think so,” you replied simply.

His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh?”

           “Yeah, I promised Cheryl that I wouldn’t leave this time,” you explained, the smirk not leaving your face.

           “I see… I see…” He raised his hands in submission. And though you could tell he was trying to act nonchalant, there was a hint of disappointment behind his eyes. That made you hesitant but you couldn’t go back now.  “Well, I guess I’ll head out then, see you around?”

           “Maybe,” you lipped, smiling at him.

           “I like maybe…” His green eyes flickered with playfulness, the disappointment leaving slightly. “But let me tell you, I will see you again.”

And with that he was gone, and the second he was, you took a breath for the first time in, what felt like, an hour. It took everything you had not to let him have you again, but you made it. You hoped that he would keep up on his promise and you would see him soon, but you didn’t see him for another month.

You were studying for winter finals at the library. It had been a frustrating study session. You’d been in there all afternoon and still couldn’t wrap your head around the subject. Across from you the chair pulled out and someone sat down. At first you didn’t pay much attention to them but then they slide a muffin and a steamy drink across the table to you. You looked up and it was Ben. Your eyes widened and he smirked.

           “Hi,” you greeted, giving him a small wave.

           “Hey, love, how are you?” he asked, looking down at your book then up at you.

You frowned, pushing the book away. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile before leaning back in his chair. You were more than surprised to see him there. It realized you went to the same school as him, but you’d never run into him before. And he’d spent his money on you.  You pulled the drink and muffin towards yourself.

           “It’s hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin,” he told you. “Chocolate always helps me relax so I thought—”

           “No, Ben it’s great, thank you so much,” you replied genuinely.

           “I also heard orgasms help with stress.”

You almost spit out your sip of hot chocolate, getting some drops of your drinks on your notes. You sputtered, trying to think of a reply, desperately cleaning your notes up. But when you looked back up at him he was laughing heartily at you.

           “I’m joking, love,” he chuckled. “Mainly… unless you want to…”

           “Not at the moment,” you growled, a hint of amusement making its way into your voice. “But ask me tomorrow.”

He smiled, his stupid dorky smile when he got something he wanted. He leaned on his forearms, bringing himself closer to you. You continued to look at him as you brought the hot chocolate back to your mouth. You slowly bring your book back to yourself trying to subtly go back to studying.

           “Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll just be here,” he told you, motioning for you to continue studying.

You narrowed your eyes at him, slightly confused as to why he would just want to sit there and watch you study but he looked perfectly happy. So, you continued studying; picking at your muffin and flipping through the pages. Suddenly, things were starting to make sense and you realized, Ben’s presence was calming. He just sat there scrolling on his phone, looking up at you every now and then. But still, he was like a white noise, keeping you focused. Eventually, you felt content with your studying and closed your book.

           “So, what can I do to pay you back for the sustenance?” you asked, grabbing you back to pull out your purse.

“Be my date.” He answered almost immediately. “To Roger’s party this weekend I mean.” Your mouth dropped and you found yourself at a loss for words. “I mean, please? I feel like we always end up together anyway.”

You found yourself in a staring contest with him. You couldn’t deny the want you felt whenever you were around him. It felt like a magnet pulling you towards him and you wanted to be on his arm the whole night. Laughing with him, drinking with him, falling asleep on his arm. So, what was the harm? He was asking you.

           “Okay.”

The day of the party came a lot quicker than you expected. Your finals were over, your bags were packed and all you had left was this party. Not that you weren’t excited to go, you always loved a party and now you had Ben as your so-called ‘date’, so what could go wrong. You just wore some jeans and a nice sweater you had. Ben was at your apartment at 7 ready to take you to Roger’s house.

           “Wow, you look great,” he complimented you. You felt your cheeks heat up and you turned around to avoid letting him see. “Will Cheryl be there?”

           “No, she’s already headed home for the winter. Left last night,” you informed him. This left the house empty in the case that something may happen with you and Ben. You planned this, and Cheryl was ecstatic.

           “Oh, so house is empty?” he asked.

           “Yup.”

           “Ah.”

Silence. Then he held out his hand to you and you took it. He held you close as you walked through the London night. It was freezing. Snow covered the ground from an earlier flurry and the roads were barren save for ice. Ben was bundled up nicely while you found your sweater failing you, causing you to shiver in the cold.

           “Oh, love,” he chuckled, pulling his jacket off his shoulders to drape over your shoulders. You thanked him softly, pulling the jacket closer around yourself. It smelt good. Like warmth with an undertone of cigarettes. It smelt like him.

Not much later you arrived at Roger’s house. Ben dragged you inside, waving and high fiving people along the way, but keeping his hand in yours the whole time. Eventually, you found your way to a free couch where Ben dropped you off.

           “You want a drink?” he asked, standing in front of you.

           “Sure,” you replied. He smiled at you and walked off to find you a drink. You felt happy. It was weird to think that a guy you hooked up with once a few months ago was now playing a game of cat and mouse with you. But you were ready to be done playing. And maybe tonight you’d be lucky.

A few other kids from school came and sat around you, smiling politely. You returned the smile and shifting to find a comfortable position.

           “So, you’re here with Ben?” one of them asked. It was one of the boys. You just nodded. “He’s dope.”

           “What’s your name?” a girl to your left asked.

           “(Y/N),” you told her. She seemed nice enough, but you still wished Ben were nearby.

           “Oh, you’re Cheryl’s roommate, right?” she exclaimed

You nodded again. “Yeah!”

Then Ben returned, carrying two drinks. He hoped over the couch, sliding his arm around you as he sat down.

           “Hey Rach! How are you,” he asked politely, handing you your drink. You moved into his side more and you didn’t see it, but that made him smile.

           “I’m good! Stephen and I were just introducing yourself to your date.” She gave you a look, moving her shoulder in a cheeky fashion. 

           “Is Kelvin here?” Ben asked.

She shook her head no, letting Stephen answer. “He still has a final tomorrow morning.”

           “Sucks to suck I guess,” Ben joked, causing them to laugh. You smiled, watching their interaction. He was so natural with other people. Everyone felt at ease around him and you could understand why. Rachel and Stephen took their leave of you, leaving you and Ben sitting on the couch together. He looked down at you as you looked around the party.

           “You look lost, love,” he told you.  

           “Sorry, I’ve just never been in the thick of a party before,” you admitted. “I’m usually with Cheryl and she usually abandons me, and I end up—”

           “In the backyard with a stranger?” he finished; his eyes playful.

           “Exactly,” you answered.

He laughed, reverberating in his chest and you could feel it. You let a blush come over your face as he took a sip of his drink. He hummed, letting you know he had something he wanted to say.

           “What do you do?” he asked.

           “Huh?”         

           “Like, other than come to parties, study and go to the supermarket, I don’t really know anything about you,” he pointed out.

           “Oh, uh… I mean I’m a Journalism major with a minor in Film and Art,” you told him. “I’m from the States… New York actually. That’s where my friend Joe lives…” He nodded for you to continue. “Um… I grew up in Albany, which is the capital of New York. But my family moved to the city after my brother moved out?

           “How old is your brother?” he asked.

           “25 now. He’s an Engineer. Runs some engineering firm in Philadelphia,” you explained. “He’s very smart. Smarter than I am.”

           “Hey, don’t say that,” Ben interrupted.

           “It’s just the truth.” You shrugged. “It’s fine. But I had to get away from my parents. Who have no trouble telling me how much better he is than me.” You blushed again. “Sorry, that was too much info.”

           “No, it wasn’t, you can keep telling me everything,” Ben encouraged.

You looked at him, no hint of insincerity. And you did want to tell him everything. But just as you were, Roger rushed into the room.

           “EVERYONE IN THE POOL!” he shouted before racing outside.

           “He’s joking, right? Its freezing outside,” you cried. But as you were talking, Ben pulled you up and started dragging you outside. “No! BEN NO!

He laughed and let go walking back towards the pool. “Let go, love. Let’s live a little tonight!”

And with that, he slipped off his sweater, and you struggled not to let your eyes bug out. He tucked his feet into a cannonball landing with a splash. You watched with wide eyes as he reemerged, shouting at the cold, but motioned for you to join him. You turned away, closing your eyes, silently battling yourself. But then you turned back around and saw him again. Him and his silly smile and his green eyes. And you couldn’t help yourself. Off you ran. And with a great jump, you splashed in after him. As soon as you hit the cold, you felt your whole body freeze up. Your clothes clung to your body and you felt the warmth leaving you.

           You breached the surface, gasping for breath. “Oh my God!” You shouted, looking for something to grab onto; to provide warmth.

           “Love, love, calm down, c’mere.” Ben’s voice washed over you and you found yourself grabbing onto him. He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you into his chest. His chest wasn’t much warmer, but you still felt yourself heating up. More people came crashing into the pool, but you found yourself unable to see them. Just Ben and his eyes. He put his chin on top of your head, holding you tightly, rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

           “This isn’t safe,” you chattered, your teeth shaking. Ben just laughed and reached down to grab your legs, carrying you to the side of the pool. He sat you down on the top step resting his hands on either side of your hips.

           “I’ll let you borrow my sweater,” he told you. You kept your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to you. You shivered, your whole body shaking. “Oh, love, you’re turning blue.”

You glared at him, moving to rest your head on his chest.  His heartbeat was strong and steady, allowing you to focus on something other than the cold. He pulled you back slightly and grabbed your hand, starting to leave the pool.

           “Let’s get you warmed up, yeah?” he murmured, pulling you up and out of the water. He picked up his sweater and found you a towel, pulling it around your arms.

Once you were dried off, you found yourself in Ben’s white sweater sitting in a hallway across from Ben. He still had a towel around his bare body, his sweater currently being used by yourself.

           “Thank you, Ben,” you said, smiling. “Tonight, has been surprisingly fun.”

           “Oh, the fun is just beginning,” he teased, poking your toe with his. The music in the main room was dully playing in the background. You blushed, looking down into your lap. “What’s wrong, love?”

You looked up at him, his green eyes shining with concern. And you really couldn’t take it anymore. You crawled towards him on all fours, his eyes widening with surprise, you settled yourself on his thighs, straddling his waist. He hands came to rest on your hips, cocking his head. It was a question and he wanted you to answer first. To let him know this was okay. So, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. This kiss was different from the frantic, horny kiss that you had in the car the first time you met him. This was slower, more languid than before. His lips moved slowly against yours, one of his hands coming up to push back some of your hair.

You slide your hands up his chest, leaning into him more. You moaned when he started to move his lips down your jaw, sucking a mark into the space right behind your ear. You brought your hands up to tangle in his hair, tugging slightly, eliciting a moan from him. You felt your breathing start to pick up and Ben moved his hands under your sweater. You moved your hands down to pull them up to your bra, giving him the permission he needed. But he still pulled back and looked at you.

           “Are you sure this is okay?” he assured. His eyes were blown open and his lips were swollen. But he was still checking on you.

           “Yes.”

And he went back in, this time the lust returned. It was heated and full of passion. He pulled your breasts out of your bra, massaging them slowly. You threw your head back, whimpering and panting heavily. Ben latched his lips to your collar, now exposed to him. The feeling of his thumbs brushing over your tits and his fingers digging into the flesh, along with his lips suck and nipping at the most sensitive areas on your neck left you weak. You let yourself go all but limp in his arms, letting him do what he wanted, letting the amazing feelings wash over you.

Soon, you found yourself in the same place you were two months ago. Laying in bed, now your bed, next to Ben. But this time you weren’t hurried to leave. Ben was lying next to you, one hand behind his head the other holding his phone. You were on your side, watching him, eyes furrowed in thought.

           “What?” Ben asked, not looking over at you.

           “Huh?”

           “You’re looking at me.”

           “Oh, I um…”

           “(Y/N).” He put down his phone a looked over at you.

You looked down, tracing your finger in your sheets. “You didn’t…” You sighed, feeling stupid. “You didn’t just ask me to Roger’s party cause you wanted to have sex with me, right?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned on his side. “I mean, that was part of it.” And with that you felt your heart breaking a little. Fuck. He didn’t actually like you. He just wanted to fuck you. “But not all of it. Actually, most of it is because I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” Your mouth parted slightly. “Your face, your voice, your laugh, for some reason, you were stuck. And then I saw you the next day and you… ya know.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, covering your face with your hand. 

“I’m an idiot, I hope you know that,” you told him, peaking through one of your fingers. “I saw you and wanted to talk to you but I panicked!”

He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay, I wasn’t going to let you get away.” He continued. “But I knew I wanted to see you again. And I saw you at that other party. Then I kinda was just looking for sex… but I was hoping you’d stay that time, and I’d make you breakfast and get to know you.” He blushed. “But you had Cheryl, so I knew I had to get you to come with me. As my date, somewhere. “So when Rog told me about this party, I knew I had to take you and the rest is history.” He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to lay down on his chest. 

You snuggled into his side, looping your leg with his. “Well, maybe we can make breakfast together tomorrow morning.”

“You won’t leave me again?” he asked, looking down at you. 

You crawled up to him and connected your lips in a soft, heartfelt kiss. When you pulled back, Ben kept his eyes closed, a smile gracing his features. 

“Never.”

______________________________________________

Tagging people I think would enjoy/people I’d like to read: @redspecialty @sweet-ladyy @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @leah-halliwell92 @angiefangirlworld-2

[drarryangels]

heyy so my birthday is in 3 days (the 14th) and i was wondering if you could write something for then? i really love your writing and *most* stories (i’m still crying bc of the last two)! it could be literally anything, i just wanted something cute and that hate that’s actually suppressed love vibe totally cool if you can’t/don’t want to, just thought i should try 😅 thank you 💜

Oh my gosh happy birthday!! (I’m probably going to post this early because I wanted to work on this as soon as I got this ask and Tumblr won’t let you schedule ask posts as far as I know) So happy EARLY birthday!! Thank you so much and I’m sorry about the two most recent fics! (I’m actually not and your reactions gave me LIFE) Thank you for being the sweetest and I’m so so so happy to write something for you!

Also I’m sorry I couldn’t decide whether or not to write something angsty or fluffy so I wrote both. (the second one will be coming on your actual birthday)

I still haven’t figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do, Draco thought, spooning more eggs into his mouth. 

Harry was laughing across the table, giggling and snorting at something Pansy had said. Draco didn’t know what she had said, but whatever it was had Harry losing his mind. He looked so beautiful in this light. Rich sunlight was sparkling in and out of perspective through the windows and dust motes caught on and ruffled through Harry’s hair. 

Draco smiled down at his plate. He had made Harry’s hair like that. Wild and untamed, finger tracks imprinted through his curls from last night and this morning. Sex and kissing and cuddling. Just one tiny sign of the fingerprints all over Harry’s body that Draco had left there. 

Harry’s toes tapped over Draco’s under the table and Draco’s eyes flicked up to meet Harry’s green ones. Every time. Every time, Draco couldn’t help but lose his breath. Being in love with Harry Potter had that effect on him. 

Pansy kicked Draco’s knee under the table, and even though it stung, he didn’t have it in him to glare at her. He knew it was her way to say stop looking like you’re so in love you can’t function, but that’s exactly what he was. 

At first, their friends, even Harry’s who had only known about their relationship for a week, had teased them about being in the honeymoon phase. But while the rest of their friends lost their desperate need for public sexy times and shifted towards the old bickering of people who knew each other too well, Draco and Harry didn’t change. 

Harry’s hands had never stopped shaking in nervous anticipation after that first time after their eighth year graduation when they had kissed for the first time. It had just been a light, soft thing, but it made Draco’s heart stutter in his fingertips. Draco’s heart still did that when they kissed. Harry’s habit of lacing both his hands through Draco’s before they went to bed never faded away. Draco’s insistence to eat half of the food off of Harry’s plate for every meal never dissipated. 

They were still just as madly in love as they had been since always. It wasn’t a honeymoon phase because it wasn’t a phase. 

They’d been together for over four years now, and everything was still a surprise. Every move was still a gift. 

Harry stood up from the brunch table and kissed Pansy on the cheek. Draco knew they were leaving the restaurant, but why? Hadn’t they just gotten here? Harry might’ve had an Auror meeting. Maybe he was just heading out earlier. Harry came around the table and grabbed Draco’s hand and beckoned him to follow along. Pansy just grinned and waved goodbye. 

Draco trusted Harry, and so he followed him. 

There was no one outside when they walked past the host at the front door and out of the local brunch place they’d been eating at. The streets were completely empty. 

Draco turned to ask Harry what was going on, but when he turned, Harry was there pressing him up against the side of the wall with beauty captured in his eyes. He was so close that Draco could almost see his own reflection in the glassiness of Harry’s eyes, but there was no roughness of lust. Harry’s hands were gentle on his hips and his mouth was just barely brushing the corner of Draco’s mouth. 

“I miss you,” Draco whispered. Harry leaned back in confusion, and then it was over. 

Draco sat up violently and looked around. Their bed was empty and the sheets were soaked with Draco’s sweat and the mess of rolling he had done in his sleep. A sharp pull tugged his stomach down into darkness.

Draco flopped back into bed and closed his eyes tightly. I miss you. Draco wished desperately to go back to sleep. That was the only time he ever got to see Harry now.

“Dada?” a small voice came from the doorway. “Papa?”

Draco lifted his head and squinted in the darkness. For a second, he saw two tiny boys clutching onto each other highlighted by the light coming in through the door, and then the image cleared. Scorpius was hanging on to the door frame with one hand, and the other one clutching on to the knitted blanket Mrs. Weasley had given him last Christmas. The pull in his stomach yanked down again, and gravity swam underneath him.

“Come here, bub,” Draco said quietly. 

Scorpius waddled over to the side of Draco’s and Harry’s bed, now just Draco’s, and held his hands up for Draco to lift him up. Draco picked him and lied him down in the curve of of his body. Draco lifted his hand to rub through Scorpius’ curly blonde hair. 

“Where’s Dada?” he heard Scorpius whisper. 

Draco squeezed his eyes shut and glance over his shoulder at the empty side of the bed where Harry used to sleep before… 

“Gone,” Draco whispered back, a hot tear sliding out of the corner of his eye. “They’re both gone.”

“Gone where?” Scorpius rolled over to face Draco and wrapped his small, dimpled hand into Draco’s shirt. 

Draco opened his eyes and let the tears drip down his face sideways. “They’re just gone, bub. It was an accident.”

“Dada?”

“He went in the accident, too,” Draco choked out. Scorpius set his hand clumsily on Draco’s cheek. Draco stared into his little, pointed his face. His son. Draco never thought he’d get to say that. Never thought he’d ever have a son of all things. Much less, two! Two sons, twins. 

“Why didn’t Alby come home?” Scorpius asked, his voice so small, so stumbly and young. 

Draco tried to swallow it down. Tried to swallow down the heaving sobs and the grief that was trying to stab everything in him to pieces. 

“He’s gone, too,” Draco said. His body shook, he could feel it shaking as if it was the only thing that made him real. He could feel Scorpius shaking too, pressed up against him, and the only thing he had left in this life. 

It had happened so fast. Harry had gone out with Albus into Muggle London. Sweet, lovely dark-haired Albus with Harry’s dark skin and Draco’s moles. His son, his perfect son. And Harry, dressed like a haphazard mess, just like he always was. Draco remembered the morning like it was happening then, all again. 

The orange sweater Harry had put on. Draco had tugged at it, prodding at Harry and telling him the Chudley Cannons sucked, and so did neon orange. Harry had kissed his cheek and then swatted his hands away before picking Albus up and swinging him around the kitchen. He had bellowed, “Whose ready for a day with the Aurors?” Albus had shrieked and squealed, “Me, me, me!”

It had been take your kid to work day. Albus had insisted on going with Harry into the Auror office for the day, and Scorpius had wanted to go to Draco’s apprenticeship job at the upstart wand making shop in Diagon Alley. So that’s what they had done. 

Draco didn’t find out until 15:02 the next day that Harry and Albus had been on the bus that’s brakes had broken down and driven straight off the road, killing all the passengers within the first five rows of seats. Damn Albus and his need to see absolutely everything and everyone through the front window. 

Scorpius hadn’t been with him, he’d been at the Weasley’s for several hours, and the first thing Draco did was Apparate to where the bus had crashed. It was gone. It was already a day later, and they’d cleared the bus and bodies. 

So Draco went to the hospital. Wizards didn’t need any identification other than wands, and therefore didn’t carry any IDs. The authorities didn’t know what to do with a man with a long piece of thin wood in his pocket and the tiny boy with a snapped neck who had been in his lap. They took them to the hospital and waited for someone to identify them. 

They didn’t ask Draco if he knew them. 

Draco didn’t even have to really see them. He’d crashed into the wall, and then into the floor because his husband and his son. His husband and his son, and oh Merlin. He’d never wanted to see this. He’d never wanted to see anything like this in his life. Dear god, dear god, why had Harry gotten that phrase stuck in his head? Oh god, they were really, really gone. His husband, and his baby boy. Gone, dead, blue, identified. They carried Draco out, kicking and screaming, and took him to the mental ward. He Apparated out when they shoved him in the waiting room. The Statute of Secrecy meant shit. 

The next thing Draco did was go to the Weasley’s. He snatched Scorpius up in his arms from where he’d been rolling around with Victoire on the kitchen floor and hugged him so tight, Fleur had yelped at him not to suffocate Scorpius. And then Draco had sat on the floor and cried harder than he’d ever cried in his life, still holding onto Scorpius. 

There was talking and a lot of crying after that. Someone had to tell the Weasley’s. Someone had to call Hermione and Ron back from their work trip to America, advocating for magical creature rights. Someone had to go back and put the funeral matters in order. 

Draco went to say goodbye later. He’d never wanted to see anything like this in his life. His 23 year old husband with combed hair and pale skin and a tuxedo on. And three year old Albus, who was too small to even really deserve a coffin all his own. Draco held Harry’s hand and ran his finger’s through Albus’ hair, and it was all so wrong. So, so incredibly wrong. 

He took Harry’s ring off of his finger and put it on a chain around his neck. There was nothing to remember Albus by. He was a baby. He didn’t have any rings or material objects that would hold on to the memory of his soul. All he had was a blonde haired twin who’d gotten left behind in the world of the living. 

It had been a week. One week. 

And Draco lied there, holding Scorpius close in the abandoned stale dark of his bed. Draco lied there with his mouth open, and spit and snot dribbling, and wailed silently. He held onto Scorpius’ warm, breathing body, and cried into his waving hair. He rocked in bed and stared at all the empty gaps that were left in his life. 

I still haven’t figured out how to move on from this, and not be madly in love with everything that used to be mine. 

-

(Notes: Holy crap. I feel like I just ran an emotional marathon after writing this. I meant for this to be fluffy and then I sneezed and uh… This is honestly the only fic that I’ve cried about while writing. I don’t cry about my own fics. Woah, you just proved me wrong. I am so desperately sorry @holdmybook I promise I’ll write something sweet for the 14th)

[jughead-is-canonically-aroace]

The Man Who Was Too Awkward To Mention He Had Amnesia

i wrote this for @spookyson-zine! the art is by @katanacupcake-art

summary: yknow that one john mulaney bit where he’s like “if i had amnesia no one would ever know because when someone you don’t recognize acts like they know you you pretend you know them and pray you remember”? like that

pairing: moxiety

wordcount: 3952

disclaimer: this is a rom-com. it is not attempting to be an accurate portrayal of amnesia or post-coma recovery or medical practice. creative liberties have been taken.

Virgil, upon awakening, knew approximately three things: his name, the fact that he was horizontal, and that there were at least two people in the room with him. He could tell that last bit from the loud sobbing and comforting noises coming from his right.

“It’s not your fault, Patton. He’ll wake up soon, and he’ll tell you.”

Virgil opened his eyes. He was in a rather brightly white room. To his left, a soft, roundish man in a blue sweater covered in puppies and kittens sat in a folding chair, crying into a handkerchief. A man in truly ridiculous amount of glittery gold eyeshadow and a violently red sweater had his arms wrapped around the other in comfort, whilst a man in a dress shirt and tie sat primly and somberly in a third chair near his feet.

This was all he registered before the three noticed his open eyes and the soft one (Patton?) launched himself forwards with a cry of relief.

Smothered in hugs and with a warm, fond feeling filling him as he hugged back and a kiss was pressed to his hair, Virgil thought, I love him. And then: This must be my boyfriend.

—

Virgil was discharged from the hospital within the hour* and was quickly piled into the backseat of a bright red convertible with Patton. Business Casual watched him over his shoulder from the passenger seat as Glitter Eyeshadow (I really need to figure out their names) started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, but as they turned onto the freeway he turned back forwards, apparently satisfied with what he had (or hadn’t) seen.

“Roman, would you please put the top up?”

“Do you not enjoy the feeling of the wind in your hair? The sensation of speed? The taste of adventure??”

“No.”

Roman put the top up, and Virgil noted his name with relief. Two down, one to go.

As Virgil settled against the window, staring out at the swiftly passing shrubbery and rough-cut rock lining the road, he recalled what the doctor had told him**.

“You were hit by an ATV at an intersection where you had right of way. All your medical bills have been handled by the other driver. You, miraculously, received only minor-to-moderate abrasions and contusions, aside from a rather nasty head wound, and appear to have no lasting effects.” The doctor smiled down at Virgil, and he briefly attempted to say “Actually, I do have one extremely present lasting effect,” but the doctor breezed onward without giving him a chance. “You were extremely lucky, Mr. Sanders.”

Ten minutes later, they were pulling into the driveway of a suburban 4-bedroom house.

—

[ID: 3 panel comic, panels stacked. virgil is upstairs, anxiously looking at different bedroom doors and trying to figure out which one is his, saying “Huh…” He’s wearing a black hoodie and the background is purple. A fly flies past behind his head.

The first door has a banner that reads “PRINCE”, a crown, and sparkles. it is captioned “No”. the second is a blank door. it is captioned “Maybe.” the third is covered in flowers and hearts, and has a unicorn on it. it is captioned “No!”. the fourth is also blank. it is captioned “...Maybe?”

Virgil closes his eyes, looking nervy yet determined. he is thinking “Well... There’s only one thing left to do...”

end ID]

[ID: 3 panel comic, panels stacked. virgil is in the living room, sitting on the couch and waiting for a clue for which room is his. He looks very anxious, thinking “This is fine.” there are sweat/nerves emotes around his head and he is blushing. there is a houseplant on a stand to the left and a red lamp on a side table to the right. the background is purple.

There’s a closeup on virgil’s face in profile. he is thinking “All I have to do is wait until four-eyes picks one of our less obvious rooms.” he is on the right and facing left, and there is a stylized drawing of logan’s face with angry eyebrows and a frown on the left. the background is a black-white gradient fading into the middle, with black emphasis lines pointing into the middle.

Patton suddenly appears beside virgil and says “HEY!!”, startling him. a zig of surprise emote and the word “zoinks!” are beside virgil’s head, and his eyes are boggling. patton’s face is stylized like a cat emote, with a 3 mouth and greater/less than signs for eyes. patton is wearing a blue shirt with a red cardigan tied around his shoulders. patton’s speech is in white bubble letters, and emphasized with many exclamation marks and a tilde. the background is purple.

end ID]

[ID: 5 panel comic, with panels 1, 4, and 5 stacked, and panels 2 and 3 stacked next to panel 1. Virgil flops over sideways onto patton’s lap. patton is sitting on the couch and virgil is curled stiffly on his side. they are stylized. the background is white.

A stylized icon of patton’s surprised face is looking down, with a loading bar next to his head, and a pink circle behind him. the background is white. Below that, the same stylized icon of patton’s face is happy and smiling, surrounded by yellow flowers and delight emotes. it is captioned “cuddle time!”

Next is a shot of virgil’s face where he is lying down. he is thinking “Wow this guy definitely is my boyfriend...” he is blushing, and looking to the left. there are white hearts around him and the background is navy blue.

A view from behind the couch over logan’s shoulder shows the stylized back of patton’s head surrounded by delight emotes and yellow flowers. logan’s face is in the right of the panel, looking suspiciously at the camera. it is captioned “suspicious A F” with a curly arrow pointing at logan.

end ID]

—

Later…

Virgil followed Patton up the stairs. They stopped in front of one of the blank doors. Please please please let this be my room and this not just be Patton stopping in front of the upstairs bathroom door or in front of Business Casual’s door for some reason or maybe I completely misjudged him and this is HIS room- “Well,” said Patton, “Goodnight! Sleep well!” With a final hug, he turned and crossed the hall back to the sticker-encrusted door, stepping inside, and Virgil nodded with a quiet “You too.”

Virgil tried to convince himself to try the door, but the imminent fear that Business Casual would appear, find him breaking into his room, and immediately unearth him as an amnesiac imposter and no longer the friend they knew and loved and kick him out on the street with only the clothes on his back and he’d have to resort to dealing drugs at Denny’s-

Business Casual, dressed in actual pajamas patterned with actual erlenmeyer flasks and test tubes of bright liquids, stepped out of the bathroom at the end of the hall and walked past him to the other blank door, opening it. He paused, and turned back. “Virgil, are you alright?”

“Yes! Fine!” Virgil jolted into motion and opened the door before him, stepping inside and turning to close it quickly. He caught a glimpse of Actual Chemistry Pajamas’ face, confused, mildly concerned, and contemplative, as he closed the door.

Virgil turned to look at his room.

Posters for The Nightmare Before Christmas and Welcome to Night Vale hung on one wall, while album covers for My Chemical Romance, Gorillaz, and a myriad of other bands covered another. An easel with a black canvas stood in a corner next to a bucket of oil paints, surrounded by a drop cloth. Next to it, a desk cluttered with notebooks, colored pencils, pastels, watercolors, and other art supplies. A paint-splattered pair of white jeans and large t-shirt was tossed over the back of the chair. Filling the remaining wall was a large bookshelf. Miscellaneous clutter formed a patchy layer over his floor, and a laundry bin half-full of clean clothes sat beside a pile of dirty clothes by his dresser.

Virgil’s eyes pricked with exhaustion, and he delegated all… that to tomorrow. He carefully stepped over to his bed, and sat down.

Reaching over to his nightstand, he picked his phone up and unlocked it.

Wait.

Virgil quickly popped into settings and removed the password, then set about searching the rest of his phone for clues.

Contacts had only “Puff🐶💙💜” (Patton, who is definitely my boyfriend), “Moi✨💄🌟” (Roman.), “Nerd🍇🤖🌡” (@god why. Please I just need to know his name), some tech support numbers, and “Manager”. He had Temple Run and Subway Surfer and Geometry Dash, but not much else. He had the Tumblr app, but it crashed as soon as he opened it. Finally, he checked Notes.

I don’t know why I didn’t start here. The Notes app was a jackpot. His social security number, directions to an unknown location, the address of a cafe in Rochester, his computer password (!), and “hamlo”, whatever that was.

Searching through the rest of the notes yielded slightly less lucrative results - numerous notes with random thoughts apparently written whilst trying to fall asleep (“dog pants?” “burger pant’s son, burger shorts. jr pants. shorts = young pants?” “Dumbell/Sawdust” “rubix cubes physically manifesting in your home” “burger pusher/at least im not a burger pusher. im a coffee pusher. im a cat?”), a note with translated roman numerals, and a note that simply read “modo g^5 plus”.

Virgil shrugged, called it a success, and went to get ready for bed.

—

Roman has an arm on Virgil’s chest, preventing him from grabbing his (“Be careful! That’s new!”) phone back as he quickly changes the contact names, adding several emojis to each. Business Casual leans over the back of the couch to read the screen.

“Why am I a thermometer?”

“It’s the closest thing I could find to a test tube.” Roman looked dramatically into the distance. “Sometimes, we have to make do with what we have.”

Virgil, upon return of his phone, reddens at the blue and purple heart emojis Roman put in Patton’s contact name. But he also doesn’t change them.

—

Virgil woke up the next morning at 6:58. He lay in bed for several minutes, blinking sleepily at the ceiling, before he registered the smell of pancakes drifting under the door.

Downstairs, he found Patton putting on his coat, shoving folders into a backpack, and eating the last few bites of his breakfast while glancing frantically at the clock. “Morning Virgil! You’re up early! Can you put this in the sink?” Virgil took the sticky plate as Patton slung the backpack over his shoulder, wriggled into his other sleeve, and darted out of the kitchen. “Bye Virge! Love you!” The door slammed.

“Bye,” he replied to the empty room. He put the plate down.

Investigating the cupboards, he eventually found a plate and fork, and pulled a few pancakes off the cooling rack in the middle of the table. Chewing slowly, he listened to the birds chirping out the window and the sound of someone jogging by.

Jogging up the steps.

Roman swung sweatily into the kitchen in running shorts and a tank top emblazoned with a logo of a yellow “watch out for children”-style road sign with two people running across a stage. He breezed over to the cabinets without noticing Virgil’s presence, dancing a bit to the pop music faintly drifting from his headphones, and humming a few notes. He turned to the table and startled violently.

“Virgil! You’re up early.” He quickly pulled his headphones off.

“Haha, yeah, I mean,” Virgil frantically dug for an excuse. “I have just been asleep for a month.”

Roman laughed, settling into a chair. He forked five pancakes onto his plate and splashed fruit sauce onto them before diving in. Virgil quietly finished his breakfast to the tinny tune of Lady Gaga’s Boys Boys Boys still drifting from Roman’s headphones.

“Hey, so, um, what’s the situation with like, work?” Virgil prayed he had been fired. He could not handle having to do this with his coworkers, too.

Roman looked awkwardly to the side. “I’m sorry, dude. They said they couldn’t keep you on past three weeks. So.”

Virgil nodded, trying not to let the relief show on his face. “That’s valid.”

Roman barked out a short, surprised laugh. “I saw a hiring sign at Starbies this morning though, you could try there.”

Virgil nodded again, and they lapsed into silence. Roman turned off his playlist.

Later, Roman tugs the last of the pancakes onto another plate and sticks them in the microwave, muttering something about how “pocket calculator probably pulled another all-nighter”. Virgil treks back up to his room to look up which Starbucks is near enough to be the one Roman was talking about, and Roman disappears into the bathroom to take a shower. 15 minutes later, Business Casual runs past his open door trailing a tie and a partially-unzipped backpack, and soon after the door slams once more.

—

Virgil walked the 4 short blocks to the hiring Starbucks, bought a coffee, and completed & turned in his application within half an hour. He got a call a week later, sweated and bullshitted his way through the interview, and miraculously got hired anyway. He was scheduled for 5-hour timeslots at various times Monday-Saturday. Thus, the following Sunday, neither Patton nor Virgil had any work they needed to rush off to.

The two had almost absentmindedly migrated from breakfast to the dishes, and they quietly coexisted while Patton washed and Virgil dried. As Virgil put away the last plate, Patton tapped him gently on the shoulder.

“Hey, Virgil?” asked Patton quietly. He looked down, fiddling with his fingers uncertainly. “D’you want to do some painting with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” replied Virgil, smiling. “Sounds fun.”

The change in Patton’s demeanor was immediate. He bloomed like a cereus in the night, rising and filling the room with his bright smile and luminous aura. “Alright! I’ll get the stuff!” He bustled off upstairs, leaving Virgil, stunned and very gay, in the kitchen. He recovered after a minute and went to change into paint clothes.

Patton and Virgil set up in the living room, spreading a large piece of thick brown paper over the rug and scattering paints and glitter within easy reach. He plopped cross-legged on the paper, and Virgil followed suit.

“What are we making?” he asked.

“Whatever we want! This is one of my favorite projects to do with my kindergarteners, just give them a big piece of paper and a lot of craft supplies and let them do wherever they want.” Patton opened up a bottle of blue paint and squirted a bit into his hand. He continued, “Kids have something really special when it comes to art, they don’t focus on the end, they just grab some paint and go.”

Mixing in some white, he spread the paint in his palm in a wide circle over the brown paper. “I think we forget how to do that when we grow up, and I’ve been trying to relearn it from my students with this activity.”

Virgil hummed. He grabbed a bottle of purple, and, squirting it into his hand, began to add little dots and curlicues to the paper with his pinky, carving tiny cracks with his fingernail.

Patton continued to talk quietly about some of the other art projects he had done with his kindergarteners as the picture began to take shape. The two crawled and reached around their workspace and each other, trying their best not to smudge the paint. Virgil put his hand down in a colorful patch, shrugged, and slapped it down in a bare space.

They continued for some time, until eventually they both tired. Virgil leaned against Patton and they looked over the smudgy, colorful, glittery painting. Patton leaned into Virgil, too, with a happy sigh.

—

Virgil stared at the black canvas in his room. He tilted his head to the left. To the right.

I don’t get it.

Turning to the desk, he flipped through a few notebooks. They held heavily pigmented, shadowy works in pastel, deeply layered colored pencil, and many, many half-finished sketches, some violently scribbled out. He found one sketch of what was apparently going to be an oil painting, with a list of what sections were going to be added on which layers, but the background was purple, not black.

Another notebook held loose sheets of watercolor paper, some filled with so much paint portions were almost black, others with only a few layers, clearly in the early stages.

Dang, I sure do like dark colors.

Turning back to the canvas, he shrugged and picked up a pallet.

Fuck it. I’ll just Bob Ross it and do whatever.

—

Virgil snarls at the canvas. Nothing is coming out like it is supposed to. In a fit of anger, he grabs his largest brush, and slaps black paint over the entire surface, obliterating the slightly wonky figure of a person in profile. With another growl, he tears out the page the sketch for the piece had been on and crumples it up, pitching it into the trash. Stripping out of his paint clothes, he crashes straight into bed. The clock greenly blinks the time at him: 4:37 AM.

—

Saturday afternoon, Virgil had learned, Patton volunteered at the SPCA. Virgil lounged in the living room with a book as Patton bounced around, humming as he gathered his coat and his bag.

Patton poked his head in. “Hey Virge! Wanna come to work with me? I think Buster misses you.”

Virgil looked up from his book. “Hm… Yeah.” He smiled, marking his place and standing. Leaving the book on the coffee table, he followed Patton out the door.

When they got to the SPCA, Patton immediately led him into the back and over to where a tiny corgi and a large mastiff lay together in a pen. The two dogs jumped up as they approached, the corgi hopping eagerly over to say hi to Virgil.

“Let me just grab Keaton…” muttered Patton, reaching over to take the mastiff’s collar. Virgil, however, had already reached out and was scratching Keaton behind the ears. Patton raised his eyebrows, then smiled, bouncing on his toes a bit. “Virgil! I’m so proud of you!!” Virgil nodded absently, leaning further into the pen to waffle his hand along Buster’s back.

“You can step into the pen,” Patton told him with a laugh. Virgil was quick to do so, plopping down on the floor.

Checking their collars discreetly to be certain of their names, Virgil murmured various baby-talks at Buster and Keaton as the two tumbled over him. Patton cooed at them, watching the three as Virgil tried to pet both dogs all over at once. He took many photos on his phone.

—

“…And Virgil did so much better around Keaton, too! They were like best buds, Keaton was all over him and he was fine! I’m so proud,” Patton finished, stirring the dregs of his soup as he spoke.

“Oh, well done, Virgil,” said Business Casual through a mouthful. He swallowed, and continued. “I know larger dogs have been a difficult issue for you for quite some time. I’m glad you’ve taken the initiative to work on your fear.”

Virgil tried desperately not to show his panic. I was afraid of big dogs?? Ffffff-

“Yeah, uh, I just felt bad about separating Buster from his buddy when I visited.” He awkwardly fiddled with his empty water glass. Business Casual was giving him a weird look. What did that mean.

Thankfully, Roman inadvertently saved him by changing the subject to his own day at work, running a Saturday workshop on improv at the youth theatre company he worked for.

—

There was a box of brownie mix in the cupboard.

Virgil leaned into the living room, where Patton was working on a lesson plan. He waggled the box. “Wanna make brownies?”

Patton’s head popped up, beaming. “Yes!!!” He stood, putting a hand to his back, then bounced over. “I forgot that was in there!”

He started pulling out measuring cups, and Virgil glanced over the instructions before opening the fridge to grab eggs.

Virgil measured the oil, eggs, and water into the bowl as Pat stirred. Once the liquid ingredients had been thoroughly combined, Virgil measured out half the bag of mix and poured it in. Patton folded the two together, blending carefully before stirring more vigorously. Flecks of batter flew out of the bowl, and Virgil grunted in surprise as a drop hit him in the cheek.

Patton stopped and looked over at him. He giggled, glancing back down at his own shirt. “I guess I battered it a bit too much, huh?” He grinned cheekily up at Virgil, sunlight breaking over the horizon. A bit of batter had landed on his lip.

Virgil leaned down and kissed him.

Patton jumped back with a loud shriek, eyes widening in shock. “What!?”

Virgil took a step back, raising his hands defensively. “What?” Should I have given him more warning? Isn’t kissing something you do with someone you’re dating? Am I wrong about that?? Did the brain injury screw up my factual knowledge too???

Footsteps thudded from upstairs, and Roman bounded into the room, followed by Business Casual. “What happened?!”

“What!” Patton squeaked again.

“I’m sorry!” Virgil frantically replied. “I’m not- I’m confused. I’m sorry!” He waved his hands frantically.

“What happened?” Business Casual asked, stepping between the two. “Wh. Why are you covered in batter?” Virgil and Patton ignored him.

“What- Why did you kiss me??” shrilled Patton.

“Because we’re dating???” Virgil replied incredulously. Patton’s eyes blew even wider.

“I- You- Virge, since when?”

Virgil paused. What?? “Are. Are we not dating?”

“No! I think I would know if I was dating you!”

Everything Virgil thought he knew was crashing down around him. The world was ending. This was his worst nightmare.

“But! I thought! Everything adds up to you dating me! You spend more one-on-one time with me than anyone else! You hug me more than anyone else! You look at me different and you smile at me more! You said you loved me! You kissed the top of my head when I first woke up!” he explained frantically. Everything is over. Patton will hate me now and they’re going to kick me out and realize I have amnesia and I’m going to be homeless and lose my job and-

“Yeah, because I’m hopelessly in love with you and can’t handle how gay I am!”

For a moment, everything stopped. What?

“You’re in love with me?”

“You thought we were dating!”

“You just said we weren’t!”

“Virgil, why would you not recall that Patton and yourself were not dating?”

Everyone turned to Business Casual, who had stepped away from the two and was now leaning against the opposite counter.

“Virgil, you said you had extrapolated from Patton’s actions that the two of you were dating, citing specifically when you, quote, “first woke up”. Odd phrasing in any situation, but particularly when compounded with the rest of this situation. So, Virgil. Care to share why it was you needed to extrapolate from such details your and Patton’s relationship status?”

Virgil slumped hopelessly. This is it. I’m going to have to sell drugs at Dennys. “I don’t remember anything. I have amnesia.”

Business Casual smirked. “As I suspected.”

“You knew?? Why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how worried I’ve been that you all’d find out and be mad at me for not telling you sooner and kick me out for being an imposter?? I don’t even know your name! Do you have any idea how stressful this has been for me??”

“It’s Logan. And you could have just said something yourself.” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but like, there was never really a good time… and I didn’t want to be rude and be like “Who are you!” ‘cause you all were so happy to see me awake… and then it had been so long that it would have just been weird…”

—

Virgil and Patton sat awkwardly on the couch, facing each other. Logan had volunteered to call the doctor for Virgil, and Roman had quietly disappeared back upstairs.

“So,” said Patton. “Um. I guess you know I’m in love with you now. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable to be around me now, I can leave you alone for a while if you want, and I’ll try to get over-“

“Patton,” Virgil interrupted, perplexed. “I kissed you.”

“Yes! But! That was just because you thought we were dating!” Virgil had never heard anything more dumb in his life (the past month). And he worked customer service.

“Pat, I wouldn’t have thought we were dating if I didn’t like you too.” Virgil took a breath. “I thought we were dating because, when you hugged me after I first woke up, my first thought was that I loved you. I may not remember you, but I remember how I felt about you. And how I felt about you was that I loved you so much that even a major brain injury couldn’t take it away.”

Patton stared into Virgil’s eyes. “So you like me too?”

“Yes.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Virgil leaned down in reply, and Patton met him halfway.

—

“And so as you can see from the compounded evidence, combined with his recent confession, Virgil definitely has amnesia.”

“Why was this necessary?” asked Roman. “You just listed all the times you saw Virgil doing something suspicious and out-of-character. We already know Virgil has amnesia. You didn’t need to make us sit down and watch a powerpoint about it.”

“In my defense, I spent a very long time doing this instead of my homework and wanted to share it with someone.” ***

—

*dont @ me, you read the disclaimer

**DONT FUCKING @ ME

***the note in my outline for this is: logan: here is my powerpoint on how virgil definitely has amnesia

[katebacks]

Daddy Issues Part I - Jeon Jungkook (M,A)

— pairing | Jeon Jungkook /Reader — word c | 7,592 — genre | Smut, angst, Stalker au! Killer au! psycho au!, horror. — summary |  [ When you started dating Jungkook, he was your gateway to all the pain but when you finally find out who he really is, you realize it’s too late to go back. You are in danger, and you know it, but worst of all is that you don’t want to escape. ]. — warnings/tags |   Bad words, oral (female receiving). violence, use of alcoholic beverages, drugs, sex, harassment. If you do not feel well with these themes, please do not read.

“Joy, this is a very bad idea, if we're seen leaving school at this time, we'll be suspended.”  You said as your friend pulled you down the corridor to the stairs leading to the first floor where there was an exit to the school garden.

“Sure, and where are they going to send us? We live here, (Y/N), they cannot suspend us because our parents pay for us to stay here and not in our homes.” She whispered, looking from side to side, being careful not to catch anyone's attention. “And today is Friday, we should enjoy our teenage years a little while we still have one, or we'll end up like Mrs. Fritz, unhappy at age 45, with a house full of cats to feed, waiting for death.”

“Okay, and where do you intend to go? The college is in the middle of nowhere, remember? There's only forest on all sides. The city is very far.”

“Taehyung is waiting for us at the entrance of the school. We just need to run.” She said and you rolled your eyes. You didn’t like to do wrong things, at least not anymore.

The last time you did something wrong, you were sent to that boarding school as your father's punishment. But being honest with yourself, you would rather stay there than to be forced to see your father taking a different woman to your home every day. You and your father had lived alone since your mother decided divorce him and marry a richer man. Your father spent most of his time working, or drinking in bars. You had lost count of how many times he had come home drunk and yelled at you, saying that it was all your fault, that your mother had left him was your fault, and when he was sober, even knowing what he had done , he acted as if nothing had happened. Your father had never done anything to physically hurt you, he just screamed how useless you were.

So when he decided he would send you to a boarding school after he had picked you up at the police station one early morning, you couldn’t feel any more relieved to be able to get away from him. You loved him, he was your father after all, but you didn’t want to go through all that humiliation any more. You'd miss your old friends, but it was better that way.

It was two years since you were there, and Joy was literally your best friend, she was the first to talk to you when you arrived and introduced you to all her friends, and they eventually became your friends too. Of all of them, Taehyung was the closest to you, he treated you like a younger sister although you have the same age, but Joy always said he had a crush on you, but you never listened, Joy always spoke too much. But you couldn’t deny that Taehyung was a handsome boy, he had those innocent, sincere eyes and that contagious smile. He was tall and always affectionate. But you would never see him otherwise.

After you reached the school gate, running away from all the night guards, you and Joy jumped on the red Taehyung’s convertible and he sailed away from there.

“Girls, you are stunning.” The blonde said smiling at the two who smiled back. You wore black slacks with some ripped, a white top and leather boots. Joy already wore a plaid mini-skirt with a red top with black boots. She always liked showing off more than you and you were okay with it.

"Where are we really going?" You asked after a few minutes on the road. Taehyung looked at you in the rearview mirror and Joy turned back, smiling at you, and did not even have to say anything to let you know where you were going. “Please don’t tell me we're going to Hell hound.”

“Oh yeah, baby.”

“Did you go crazy? They say that place is super dangerous, full of regulars gangs, and dangerous people. They said that many people were murdered and raped inside. Not to mention all the times that the police invaded that place and arrested drug dealers. And fuck, we're underage, if we try to get in there, we’ll get in trouble and...”

“Chill out, doll.” Taehyung said laughing and stretching his arm back, touching your knee, trying to calm you down. “We'll be fine. Nothing will happen to us. There's a lot of underage kids there, we're probably going to find half the school there, they all use fake IDs, but I have someone who's going to get us in there without us needing it. Just stay in ours, we will have no problems, okay? You can trust me.”

"If I die, I'll come back and kill you." You said leaning back and crossing you arms, pouting, which made the boy laugh.

“We have a deal.”

Taehyung really had someone to put them into the Pub without asking for identity or asking questions, which led you to think that he could only have bribed the securities, because money wasn’t a problem for him, since his father was one of the richest in the country. As soon as you entered the bar, you noticed how dark it was inside. You stopped to watch the dance floor and some tables around it. People danced rubbing each other and you didn’t know if you felt claustrophobic or happy to have agreed to go out with your friends. You've never been a fan of crowds. As you went down the stairs to the floor, you found yourself facing some of your classmates, many of them hadn’t even seen you since they were too busy eating someone propped up on the walls, getting drunk or using drugs. And those who saw you three just nodded and continued what they were doing.

Some people bumped into you and forced you to get even closer to Taehyung who was in front, leading the way.

The worst part of the parties for you were the drunks. Sober men can’t hear a no, so imagine drunk men? You hated it. You hated being touched without your permission. In fact, all women hated it.

Somehow, by the time they got to the liquor counter, Taehyung got some drinks for you, and even if you were not a big fan of alcoholic drinks, you gladly accepted it. You sat at a table facing the dance floor and you kept quiet listening to the two of them chat while you watched the place. It didn’t seem as dangerous as everyone said, just a little promiscuous and full of drug users, which really didn’t matter to you, you didn’t care about the lives of others unless they were your friends'.

While you were steeped in thoughts, you felt a chill, as if something was about to happen. You started looking sideways, searching for something you didn’t know what it was, until your eyes fell on a man, which made you totally lose your breath and choke. He had his black hair thrown back, and he was leaning against the wall under the stairs, across the room, almost hiding in the dark. He had his arms folded across his chest and his head tilted to the side. He wore an all-black outfit, from his blouse to his shoe. And he was looking at you.

It was hard to describe in words what you felt when you could even feel the intensity of his gaze on you, and what your body felt when his eyes passed through you. Your entire body warmed and involuntarily you squeezed your thighs, feeling your clit throb. God, what is this?

“I want to dance.” Joy said and suddenly you were being pulled onto the dance floor, losing sight of that man.

“Why don’t you take Taehyung?"

"Because Taehyung is a man and if I rub myself on him while I'm dancing, the guys here will think he's my boyfriend."

“If they see you rubbing yourself in a girl, they'll think you're a lesbian.” You said it loud enough for her to hear, and she laughed.

“Well, men have a fetish with two women dancing sensuously together, whether they're lesbians or not. So do me a favor and dance sensually so I can get a fuck tonight, or you'll have to put up with me masturbating in the bedroom for the rest of the month. Again.”

"You're a bitch."

"I know, honey, I know."

And Joy was right, two girls dancing together call more attention than a girl dancing alone, but you didn’t like the looks you were getting from some men standing around. As soon as a man approached you, you stepped back as he approached Joy. He was very handsome, was her style, so it was not long before the two of them were dancing and kissing in the middle of the dance floor. The music was very sexy and you loved to dance alone in your bedroom, pretending to be a sensual dancer, but you had no ounce of courage to dance the way you wanted to in the midst of all those people. Feeling uncomfortable there, you decided to get out of the crowd and go to the bar or look for Taehyung. But as soon as you moved, you spotted that same boy who was propped up under the stairs. You were hypnotized by him again.

He pushed away from the wall and all the other people in the room began to move in slow motion as he walked confidently toward you, not taking his eyes off you, not even looking where he stepped.

The sensual beats of music just helped you run out of air each time he got one step closer to you.

Push a little further on the edge

And it was closer.

Crawl a little further on the bed, babe

And closer.

I'm burning up, yeah, all I see is red

As soon as he was under the light that lit the dance floor, you can see him better and you were definitely right in feeling horny, aroused and intimidating at the same time, he was simply the most handsome man you had ever seen in life.

She said: Fuck me like I'm famous I said: Okay

“Breathe.” His voice said when he was very close to you, and only then you see that you had forgotten to breathe. Your cheeks burn. You felt like an inexperienced virgin, gasping for breath at the sight of a handsome man. You tried to open your mouth to say something, but the intensity with which he looked at you was making you unable to say anything. “I'm Jungkook.”

“(Y/N).” You answered lower than you should and didn’t know if he had heard because of the loud music, but he smiled and repeated your name, making melody to your ears. You've never been so fond of hearing your name come out of someone else's mouth.

“You don’t seem to be enjoying the party.” He said, looking you up and down slowly. "And you don’t seem to like dancing either."

“I like to dance…"

“Its not what it looked like a few seconds ago.” He said moving his eyes from you to Joy who was busy kissing a guy and then looked back at you. “You don’t seem the type who likes attention.”

“How do you know?" You asked, intrigued.

"The way you walk, you move in a way as if you don’t want to touch anyone, you have good moves to dance, but don’t let go of it with fear that draws much attention to you and I saw how quickly you moved away from all the guys who were trying hit on you. You're wearing black and white, neutral colors, colors that don’t draw attention. And you've arranged your hair in a way that makes it easier to hide your face when you're ashamed.” He said and you lowered your head, trying to hide the redness in your cheeks. “Just like you’re doing right now.”

"You seem to be very perceptive.” You raised your head trying to stand firm and not tremble beneath that man's gaze. "I don’t like crowded places."

"If you don’t like crowded places, then why did you came here?" He asked without taking his eyes from yours. You shrugged.

“My friends wanted to get out of the ... routine.” You answered. "They wanted to have fun in other ways.”

"You don’t look like you're having fun. That's not fair.” Jungkook licked his lips, almost making you stop breathing again, and looked around as if looking for someone. Soon after he looked at you and pointed in one direction. When you looked, you saw Joy walking away with that boy. And as soon as he pointed to another direction, you saw Taehyung sitting at one of the tables with a girl on his lap. You definitely were not amused watching your friends leave to be with other people. Wait, how did he know you knew Taehyung?

You turned to him with a frown and he looked at you with an unshakable expression.

“How did you ...”

"I saw you coming in with them."

“That's kind of bizarre.” You said, and he laughed, making you delighted by his laughter.

"It's not bizarre. I just got interested in you, shouldn’t I?”

You bit your lips and saw his eyes darken, staring at your mouth. He bit the corner of his mouth before approaching your ear, making your whole body shiver.

"Do you want to get out of here? We can talk in my car.”

"Don’t get me wrong, Jungkook, but we just met and I don’t know if I can trust you …"

“I understand.” He said with a disgruntled sigh, you really thought you had spoiled your chances with him, but then he reached into his pocket, took a key ring, and flung it over the people, across the dance floor. You stared wide-eyed, surprised at his action. “Well, I just threw my car keys away and I doubt I'll find them so soon, so now there's no way I can open my car, throw you in the trunk and kidnap you.”

“You're crazy.” You laughed out loud, still not believing what he had done. That was something. He was handsome, looked sweet and polite. What could go wrong? You nodded, giving him a smile.

Jungkook then wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close as he guided you toward the exit, pushing away anyone who accidentally or purposely approached you. As you left the pub, you walked a few yards to the side of the bar, where there was the parking lot and a black Mustang parked a few feet from where Taehyung parked his car.

You two sat on the hood of the car and started talking like two friends, getting to know each other. It was already past midnight and during the conversation, you discovered some things about Jungkook. He was 23 years old, he was mechanic, had his own car workshop downtown, he was a good student at school and received letters from major universities but denied all, not wanting to spend four years of his life studying and then spend the rest of it behind of some table. Jungkook wanted to live, and as he liked cars, he had decided that he would start his own business. He was not from there, but lived for almost two years in the city. His parents lived in the countryside.

“I don’t have much to talk about me. My story is very boring." You said without taking your eyes off your hands that were on your lap. His hand came to rest on top of yours, making your attention turn to him. He looked at you sweetly, almost innocently, smiling shyly at you.

“I'm sure your story can be anything but boring.” He said it much lower than when you were at the party, since there were no loud songs and no thunderous noises to disturb your hearing. His voice was as soft and sweet as his smile. His fingers began to caress the back of your hand as he still stared at you.

“The story can be long ...”

“I have all the time in the world.”

You then told about what had happened to your family. You told how your mother left you, how things went after she left, how your father acted around you, how many nights you wished you hadn’t even been born. You told him how you became shy at school, how you pulled away most of your friends, and told about the night that ended up at the police station. Jungkook listened to you intently, ignoring the looks of some people walking through the parking lot.

"Has he ever hit you?" He asked with a certain tone of irritation in his voice, which went unnoticed by you.

“No, never, but the way things were, it wasn’t going to take long for that to happen.” You said laughing sarcastically. Jungkook took a deep breath and released the air slowly, looking away, clawing at his jaw. “But let's not talk about it. Tell me about your car workshop.”

So you continued to talk for a long time. And you couldn’t deny that you was attracted to him and him for you, so when you felt an ounce of courage while he talked about something, you leaned over and kissed him. He didn’t look surprised by your gesture, because he immediately reached into your hair and deepened the kiss. It was so intense you could barely breathe and it was so good that you couldn’t contain your moans as he pulled your hair.

In a few seconds he had come down from the hood and was now between your legs, one hand in your hair and the other over your breast, and neither of you cared to be in an open-air parking lot, you were more worried about the horny you were feeling.

"You shouldn’t have thrown your keys away." You whispered as soon as his lips left yours to kiss your neck. Your hands went to his hair and he laughed against your neck.

"There's another way to open a car, my dear."

”Then do it." You said raising his face. "Or fuck me against this car, now."

"I think I'm going to fuck you against this car. It seems more exciting to me.” He said thrusting his hand between your legs and stroking your clit over your pants. You moaned and pressed your nails around his neck, because the only thing you needed now was his dick inside you. “It looks like you're enjoying the caresses.”

“You have no idea, Jungkook.”

“(Y/N)!” Taehyung's voice caught your eye and you and Jungkook looked away, seeing your friend walking towards you. He looked at Jungkook from top to bottom, frowning before looking back at you and throwing his hands up as he stood beside the car.

“What the fuck are you doing out here? I looked for you everywhere. I was worried.”

“She is with me. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook replied staring Taehyung that stared back.

"And who the hell are you?"

“This is Jungkook, we met at the pub...”

“And you thought it would be a good idea to come to a dark, empty place with a guy you just met, (Y/N)? Are you crazy?” He didn’t even let you finish speaking before giving the sermon. You opened your mouth to answer, but he held up his hand to signal you to remain silent. “Let's just go back inside and get Joy. We are leaving.” He then turned his back and started walking toward the Pub.

“What if I don’t want to leave?” You asked standing up. Taehyung stopped abruptly and turned to you with frowns, as if he had not understood what you had said. “What if I want to stay for a few more hours? You will force me to go with you?”

“What the hell are you talking about? You said yourself that you didn’t want to come here, that this pub was full of junkies and violent people, but three seconds ago you were letting this stranger get his hand on your body.” He said loudly, almost screaming.

“Yes, I'm letting this stranger touch my body, and yes, I didn’t want to come here, but I came because you wanted me to, and now that I'm having fun you want me to leave?” You answered it in the same tone of voice. Jungkook leaned against the car and folded his arms, watching Taehyung's next actions, he was ready to intervene if necessary.

“Guys, why did you leave me alone in there?” Joy appeared out of nowhere, hugging her body because of the chill of dawn. Her hair was tousled and she had no more lipstick in her mouth. “Can we leave? I'm tired.”

“Sure, we're going.” Taehyung said without taking his eyes off of you as Joy entered the convertible. He was waiting for you to do the same, but instead you took two steps back approaching Jungkook and crossing your arms.

"You can go, I will not go now." You said, and even though it was dim, you knew Taehyung's face was red at that moment.

"I will not leave you alone here …"

"I'm not alone, I'm with Jungkook, and you don’t boss me, Taehyung. I'll leave when I want.”

He was annoyed, irritated, ever since Taehyung knew you, he had this protective spirit, he felt he had to protect you and when he couldn’t, he felt helpless, and that made him furious. Taehyung glanced toward Jungkook, who was in the same position as before, but now he had a more serious look on his face, and stared at Taehyung as if challenging him to say something.

"If you hurt her, I swear I'll come after you."

Jungkook let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back and chuckling at the boy's failed attempt to intimidate him.

“Yeah, yeah, just go, bro. Stop embarrassing yourself.” He said, waving his hand at the boy who took one last look at you before getting in the car and getting out of there. You took a deep breath, hated fighting with your friends but you was tired of always living for other people. You wanted to live for you now.

Reminding that Jungkook was still there, you stared at him with cheeks burning, ashamed that he had witnessed it all.

“I'm sorry... That ended the whole mood." You said putting your hand on your neck and looking away from him.

“It's okay, don’t worry.” He said holding her chin and making her look at him. He was smiling carefree, as if it hadn’t done effect on him. "There's a snack bar two blocks from here. We can go there, have a milk shake and eat something. Then I'll take you home. Or I can call you a taxi if you prefer.”

“I'll take the Milk Shake." You said smiling at him. "But only if it's chocolate."

It had been four months since you met Jungkook, and every opportunity you had to get out of that school and go somewhere else with him, you did. With that, you ended up moving away from your friends because even though you could only use the cell phone once a week for fifteen minutes, Jungkook had bought a new one for you so you could communicate with him, so all your free time, dinner, breaks, you were talking to him.

"What are you doing here, you freak?" You whispered laughing at the sight of the boy leaning against the wall behind the school building, waiting for you. He smoked a cigarette and was relaxed as usual. It was almost five in the afternoon when you received his message, saying that he would be waiting for you behind the building, on the north side of the school, where you used to go to jump over the walls without being caught. One of the only places that wasn’t monitored by cameras. "If they catch you here, you'll be arrested."

"They will not catch me." He said holding your waist and pulling you close to him. “Besides, you worth the risks.” Then he kissed you, a calm, passionate kiss. He dropped his cigarette on the floor and used both hands to hold your face and caress it at the same time. "I missed you." He said between the kiss, lowering one hand to your waist and squeezing it. He bit your lip, making the fire inside you burn.

"Me too." You whispered as he slowly turned his body, placing you back against the wall, lowering one hand to your thigh and lifting it, placing it on his waist. "But I don’t have much time. In fifteen minutes I need to be in the gym." You said as his kisses touched your neck, causing you to roll your eyes and hold yourself so you didn’t moan.

“So I have to make you cum fast." He said putting his hand between your legs, inside your panties, caressing your clitoris that was already swollen and soaked with your juice. You gasped and grabbed Jungkook's arm, preventing him from moving. He looked at you with a sassy look, waiting for you to say something.

"You know I can’t be silent. Someone will catch us."

"No one will get us, baby. Don’t you trust me?"

"With my life." You answered without hesitation, and he smiled, leaning forward and kissing you. Then he kissed your cheek, your ear, your neck, your breasts over your T-shirt, until he knelt in front of you and gave you a wicked look before lifting your thigh and placing on his shoulder, lifting your skirt, pulling your panties to side and start to eat you out. You immediately covered your mouth and threw your head back, your body shuddering as you felt Jungkook's tongue caressing the full extent of your cunt. Your other hand went into Jungkook's hair and you moved your hips against his mouth, unable to control yourself. You needed to come.

“You're so sweet.” He whispered against your clit and his tongue licked again, spurring you even more as he stared into your eyes.  His free hand gripped one of your thighs, increasing the strength he used and the speed of his tongue. You felt your cunt pulsing, You was reaching the apex. Jungkook seemed to focus on one specific point, which made you let out a hoarse groan and finally cum as the spasms spread through my body.  You closed your eyes as you felt his tongue wandering around your entrance, sucking all your juice. Your mind cleared, your muscles relaxed and you felt good.

He stood up and kissed you, hugging your still shaking body.

"I love you," you whispered as he let you lean your forehead against his chest. Jungkook smiled and stroked your hair. That was the first time you'd said that.

"I know." He said and you laughed punching his arm and moving away from him. He laughed and took a step back.

"Idiot, I'm serious."

"Me too." He laughed approaching again and using his large hands to hold your face. And then he looked serious and stared your eyes with the same intensity he had whenever he looked into the depths of you, as if he looked at your soul. “I love you too, my lady.” And he kissed you again. "And I want to see you tonight."

"Same time?" You asked with closed eyes, delighting in the short, slow kisses he gave in your lips.

"Yes, I'll be waiting."

"Okay, now go, or you'll get us both in trouble." You said pushing him away. Jungkook looked indignantly at you.

"You use me and now you throw me away. Women are all the same." You laughed at his failed attempt to be innocent. You gave him a quick kiss.

"See you later, asshole." And so you turned away. Jungkook watched you walk away.

"I cannot wait for this."

You were in love with him in a way you couldn’t explain, you thought about him all day, wanted him all day. You wanted to be with him all the time, because Jungkook was intense, he was relentless, he gave you life, and that was what you loved him the most.

Everything was going well until the day you were discovered by school security. You and Jungkook were in the car, a few yards from the entrance of the school, you were on his lap in the backseat, rolling in his lap and kissing him when a strong light struck your face and you two looked to the side, seeing one of the school security guards there, knocking at the door and ordering you to get out.

That was weird. The security guards only patrolled the perimeter of the school, the gates and walls inside, there was no way they knew you were there. And your suspicions were confirmed when the same security officer said that someone had made an anonymous denunciation of an out-of-school student. And you were already sure who did it.

The security guard woke the principal to tell him what had happened, and he said with a furious expression that he would talk to you the next morning. When you reached the bedroom, Joy was asleep on her stomach in bed. You could wake her up and question why she had told them about your hang out with Jungkook. but if you did, you would yell at her and wake up the entire dorm, putting you in even more trouble, so you waited the next morning.

“Why did you do that? I thought you were my friend. Why did you tell him? "You asked the girl who was confused by both her drowsiness and your questions.

“I told you I didn’t say anything, (Y/N). I swear. The only person I told was Taehyung, because he wouldn’t stop asking where you were and I had to tell him, but I swear it was only for him.”

It was when you connected the points, if she didn’t say anything and only told Taehyung, then he was the only one who could have told the security. You knew he had some anger at Jungkook, but you didn’t understand why. Of all the time you studied there, those were the happiest months of your life, so why would he ruin it?

You turned your back on Joy and left the room already wearing your school clothes, heading toward the men's dormitory where girls were barred, but you were already really screwed, so you just don’t give a fuck.

As soon as you reached the bedroom door, you punched it hard until a sleepy, irritated Taehyung opened the door. The moment he saw you there, his face softened, but after seeing your condition, he knew he had fucked it all up.

“(Y/N)...”

"Why did you do that?" You asked before you let him make an excuse. He sighed and left the room closing the door behind him.

“Look, I'll give you my reasons, but it has to be later. You need to get out of here, if the monitors catch you ...”

“No, Taehyung, I want to know now.” You raised your voice. “Why the hell do you hate Jungkook so much? Why do you want me to break up with him? And why the hell did you tell the security guard that I was with him last night? Are you aware of what this will cause to me?”

"I don’t trust that guy…"

“You don’t have to trust him, you asshole, I have, he's my boyfriend, not yours.” You screamed furiously, your face turning red. “Stop intruding on my life and make the decisions for me, Taehyung!”

"(Y/N), he can be dangerous." He shouted back and some of the students left their rooms, curious to know what was happening. “Look, I've been researching, asking some people, and he might be involved in drug trafficking and even murder. Many people on the north side of the city are afraid to even pass near him because they say he is extremely violent.”

"You went out asking questions about my boyfriend? Throughout the city?" You asked, taking a step back, not believing what you were hearing. “You must be kidding me.”

“Yeah, I did it. I needed to keep you safe ...”

“No Taehyung! You needed to keep me single for one day finally build up the courage and say you like me.” You screamed furiously toward him. Taehyung was paralyzed, his eyes wide for a few moments, simply without reaction or words for that moment. “You want me single because you want me for you and you don’t want me to be someone else's.”

“Where you...”

“Joy told me." You interrupted him and he was pale. “I hadn’t believed in the beginning, because to me you were only treating me as your best friend, but now I understand that you want me to break up with Jungkook to stay with you, but this will not happen Taehyung, because what I feel for him, I will never feel for you.” You hissed bitterly. You were so hurt with him that you wanted him to get hurt too, and from his gaze, you had managed to do that.

“You shouldn’t be here, young lady." The dorm monitor, who was also a student, said, and you turned to him in disgust.

“Fuck you." You exclaimed and turned away, heading to the stairs and out of there. As soon as you stepped into the garden and walked toward the women's building, one of the students said that the Principal was looking for you. You sighed and went to the principal's office, hesitating to go in because you knew what would happen from then on.

As you entered the room, you were surprised to see your father sitting in the armchair in front of the boardroom table. He was red, the expression on his face was the same as he used have when cursed you and blame you for everything bad in his life, but this time he seemed to be sober.

You sat in the armchair beside him, not daring to look at him, just listening to what the principal had to say. He said that your behavior was unacceptable, that leaving school out of the allowed hours was against the rules and dating as well. He quoted everything he had to say and said that he wouldn’t just kick you out because you was a good student and had the best grades but would suspend you for a week. He allowed his father to take you home that week, and he just nodded, not saying a word to the principal.

Once you were released, the principal said you should go to your room and pack your bags, and so you did. You and your father walked side by side until you got to your room. When you opened the door, he pushed you tightly inside, making you lose your balance and fall on your knees on the floor.

“It was for that I sent you here?” He screamed, slamming the door behind him and advancing against you who had no chance to defend yourself when he grabbed your hair and pulled you violently up, making you moan with pain. “Did you come here to fuck with thugs? Hmm?” He threw you violently against the bed, banging your back against the wall and your head on the headboard. "You're a bitch just like your mother."

“This is not true.” You said it trembling, forcing yourself to sit and brush your hair off your face, trying not to stutter, but then you fell back down when he hit your face with a slap, throwing you back on the bed, making you scream and not hold back the tears.

“Shut your fucking mouth. You're never going to change, it's always going to be this bitch that only brings me problems. What is the difficulty of you not getting into trouble, (Y/N)? Do you have any mental problems that keep you from being rational?” He screamed and you cried, with your hand on the cheek that he had hit the slap, curled in the bed. “Do you think it's fun to go out there doing shit so I have to fix it later?”

“Dad...” You started to speak, but he grabbed your arm, squeezing it hard, lifting you brutally, making you even more desperate to see the furious look in his eyes. You had never seen him so violent. He'd never leaned a finger against you to hurt you, so why was he doing it now?

“You and I have a lot to talk about this week, you whore. So you better stop crying and start packing your bag before I lose my patience and drag you out of here by the hair, without any belongings.” He said between his teeth and pushed you back to the floor once more. So he turned his back and left the room, slamming the door behind him and you shrank on the floor, crying, feeling the pain in your body and in your heart. Why was that happening? You had done nothing to deserve it. Why did he seem to hate you so much? What had you done to him?

The cell phone that Jungkook had given you, began to vibrate beneath your pillow, and you knew that at that moment, he was the only one you wanted to talk to. You raised your arm and reached under your pillow, answering the phone, sniffling and sobbing.

“Love, what happened?” He asked from the other end of the line and listening to his voice only made you cry even more. Your chest was aching, you felt lonely, helpless and certainly in danger. “(Y/N), why are you crying? What is happening? Where are you?” He started bombarding you with questions and you could hear his keys on the other side.

“Jungkook.” You only managed to say his name before breaking into tears again. You heard the car door slamming across the line.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m coming to you. Stay where you are, okay? I’ll come to you. Don’t worry, don’t cry, your Jungkook is coming.” He said and before you could try to say something, or that he could hang up, your dad came screaming back into the room, making you scream too and crawl away from him, squeezing the phone between your fingers, afraid he'd take away the only thing that was giving you security at that moment.

“Who are you talking to, you slut? I told you to pack your things.” He yelled as he yanked the cell phone out of your hand, making you moan at the force he used, hurting your wrist. You were desperate and could hardly breathe, your body was shaking too much for you to react so you just started screaming for help and cringed once more. You were horrified at everything that was going on, scared, confused, and just wanted your father to get away from you. He looked at the phone screen, seeing that the call was still active. “Are you the thug who was eating my daughter, your bastard?” The only thing he could hear from the other side was the sound of the car moving, followed by Jungkook’s cold voice.

“You are dead.”

So the call dropped and at the same moment, two security guards who had heard your screams entered the bedroom, then pulled your father away from you, who started protesting in shouts that they should let him go. As they walked away from the room, you finally breathed again and stood up, legs trembling, hugging your body and walking slowly out of the room where some of the girls began to appear and looked wide-eyed at you.

“Oh my god, (Y/N).” Joy approached you, intending to hug you, but you pulled away from her, holding the cry again, a lump forming in your throat. As you walked down the stairs, with all the female dormitory students looking at you, you could hear your father's screams from the security guards outside the building. As soon as you left, the students watching your father now looked at you. Among them was Taehyung who had wide eyes and put his hand to his mouth, horrified. He didn’t hesitate to move toward you, to comfort you, but you pushed him hard back.

“This is all your fault.” You shouted with all your strength to him, making his eyes fill with water.

“(Y/N)...” He started to speak, but the Mustang's engine roar could be heard, and you looked at the road through the forest, watching Jungkook's car come in with everything, knocking over the guardrails of the secondary gate and skidding on the wet garden grass. He stormed out of the car, slamming the door and striding toward the crowd at the foot of the staircase. He had fists clenched and a killer look in his eyes. You had never seen him like that, and honestly, he was scaring you. As his eyes hit yours, he frowned and ran toward you, just as you did, burying yourself in his chest, tearing into tears once more. Jungkook pressed you against his chest and stroked your hair as his eyes scanned the place, trying to identify who had done that to you. That was when he saw the man shouting at the security guards, his voice the same as the man on the phone. He seemed to be blind at the moment.

Jungkook released your body, making you open your eyes, missing his embrace and passed among the students, shoving them all violently away from his way, before approaching the security guards who were on their backs, distracted trying to contain their father, and overtook them, hitting the man's nose with a sharp punch that fell immediately on his back.

The security guards tried to hold Jungkook, but he managed to knock them down too.

“Do you think you can hurt her and not get punished for it, you fucking asshole?” He screamed in a menacing voice, making everyone step back. He then hit a kick in his stomach, making him moan in pain and you cover his mouth, stiffing a scream. “I'll teach you to never touch what is mine.”

And before he could strike another blow, Taehyung stepped in front of him, pushing him back. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to advance against Taehyung as well, and the two began to roll on the floor, exchanging punches and blows. And most of the time, it was Jungkook who hit him. He stood over Taehyung, immobilizing him with his legs, holding him tightly by the neck and began to strike blows against his face.

"Jungkook." You called for him and he stopped his fist in the air, looking over his shoulder at you. You were scared, destroyed. You'd never seen him be so violent with anyone, so that scene was shocking.

He took a deep breath, as if controlling his killer instinct, and stood up, walking on his back for a few seconds, watching the fallen men on the floor, before turning and approaching you, wrapping his arms around your back and beneath your legs, carrying you toward the car where he put you in the passenger seat and got in, driving away from there.

The way to his house was quiet, he did not say a word and you did not either. You were too shaken to say anything. In your head, the images of your father beating you and Jungkook spanking Taehyung looped in your head and that made you wonder if you could trust him, if he would not do you, the same as he did with others.

As he parked in front of the house, he was the first to leave the car and opened the door for you, holding out his hand and waiting for you to pick it up. Still sobbing, you held his and got out of the car, being guided by him inside. You then paused for a moment, not knowing what to do.

"Baby." Jungkook stood behind you, hugging you from behind and placing his chin propped on your shoulder. It was strange how with him, you calm down easily, even after what had happened.

"I want to take a shower." You whispered and he nodded, releasing you. You then walked to the bathroom and leaned against the door. You took off your clothes, feeling the pain in your body, and tossing them to the floor. You turned on the shower and went under the warm water. Still not believing what was happening, you started to cry, sliding to the floor, sitting down, cowering and crying compulsively. Lamenting everything. And without even realizing it, Jungkook was joining you, still in his clothes, sitting down beside you and pulling you into his lap, letting you cry as the water washed away your tears of pain and betrayal.

“It's okay, baby.” He whispered to you, kissing the top of your forehead, staring at the wall in front of him with dark, menacing eyes. "He'll never hurt you again, I promise.”

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018/2019 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[xoexoxhoe]

Same Time Next Week?

Three Words: Choi - F****** - San

Author: xoexoxhoe

San & Y/N 

💥Warning: Smut 💥 

You focused on carefully applying your red lipstick and making any final adjustments to your hair before leaving your apartment, knowing damn well what was about to transpire tonight. You smirked at the thought of it all, but before you could dwell upon anything, your phone rang, exposing you to the loud thumps of background music and your already drunk friends screaming at you to hurry to the club.

“I’m almost to my Lyft, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” You smiled, and without a falter in your step, you made your way across your condominiums marble flooring with ease, slipping past the doorman and entering the Lyft. Once you were at the club, you could feel the bass heavy beats seeping into the streets, making your body automatically begin to sway along to the music. The bouncer looked at you and nodded, lifting the velvet rope and waving you through without hesitation or any ID checks. You’ve been to this club long enough, and you basically knew everyone by name, but what you saw next was something you couldn’t look away from.

You laid eyes on one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen in this club; and that says a lot considering you basically live there on the weekends. His silhouette in the flashing lights almost ominous as he began to approach you, but instead of pulling you to the dance floor like you thought he would, he walked right past you, brushing against your shoulder as his dark eyes never left your body. Chills were sent down your spine, but you couldn’t give in, not yet. He was playing hard to get and you knew it. Two can play at this game, you thought.

“Two shots of tequila.” You heard him say behind you at the bar. When you turned around, your heart began to race. Another girl next to him attempted to entertain him, laughing and twirling her curly hair. You could see him hand her a shot, resting his hand on her shoulder but soon finding his eyes upon you again. He stared at you while the girl next to him still spoke, making you grin. You sauntered to the bar yourself where another club-goer made his way towards you. The smell of Hennessy and Jack Daniels radiating off of him made you gag, but how could you ever refuse a drink? Handing you a shot of vodka, you laughed and rubbed his shoulders, complimenting him while constantly peeping over his shoulder only to see the mysterious boy continuing to stare at you. He stood up from the stool and ditched the girl, leaving her stuttering, looking sad and defeated.

“If you turn around, I’m sure you’ll find someone much more lovelier than this one.” The guy said into the other man’s ear, twirling his bar stool around to face the sad curly-haired girl. His eyes connected with yours once again, “San.” was all he said, extending his hand.

“Y/N” you smiled, pushing his hand away while slowly beginning to stand from the bar stool, turning around to enter the dance floor. He followed your movements, calculating your every step, watching as you entered into the crowd and began to sway with the music. You felt his hands on your hips, his head buried in your neck planting soft kisses upon it while pressing himself against your body. You turned to face him, your lips connecting in rhythm with the music. Before you knew it, he lead you off of the dance floor and into a bathroom, locking the door as he pushed you inside. He lifted you off of the floor and had you against a wall, finding his hands over your chest, pulling down the top of your dress to expose your breasts. He kissed you long and hard, wrapping one hand in your hair while using the other to squeeze and support your ass. You felt him move down your neck, biting and sucking on you, making low moans escape your mouth.

“You go and fuck every guy you meet at the club, baby?” He said, placing you down and unbuckling his pants, revealing his hard length to you as you took it in your hands, stroking it softly.

“No, just the hot ones.” You lifted your dress and let your thong slide down your legs, but he caught it before it hit the floor, placing it in his shirt pocket.

“Can’t have these get dirty now, can we?”

“Just shut up and kiss me, San.” You pulled him to you again. This time, he placed his hands between your hot thighs, feeling how soaked you were for him already and moaning into your mouth.

“You’re so wet.” He began to tease your clit, going back and forth while your body began to shake and squirm against his chest. “You gonna cum for me?” He whispered, staring into your eyes, his inescapable sex appeal consuming every fiber of your being.

“I’m gonna-”

He slammed into you hard, catching you by surprise and sending your orgasm to an intensified state. Your hand grasped his shoulder as your nails dug into his skin. He moved quickly, his hips bouncing you up and down even faster. You breathed heavily and pulled him into you, his hot breath against your cheek as he continued to fuck you, hitting your g-spot. He found one of his hands at your breast, tugging at you and teasing you. You tossed your head back again, feeling the room begin to spin and your heart rate faster than you’ve ever known it to be. San bit your lip and you began to taste a hint of blood, only arousing you even more. He adjusted your position by lifting your leg, shifting you slightly sideways but still holding you against him on the wall.

As soon as he slapped your ass, you felt yourself tighten around him, another orgasm beginning. He felt it too because as soon as you tensed, you felt his body begin to freeze. He bucked his hips into you a few more times, reaching his hand down from your breast to finger you just a little longer, causing you to yelp a little as you rode out your orgasm. You were panting, soaking wet with sweat and sex combined. He found his lips on yours again before pulling out of you and grabbing his pants, putting them back on casually. But just as soon as you both began to dress, you found him unlocking the bathroom door getting ready to leave.

“Make sure to pull your dress down, I wouldn’t want anyone else looking at you.” He disappeared into the bumping club with not another word spoken. You followed suit not too long after, but he was nowhere to be found.  

You didn't even bother to meet your friends after being with San. You were so fucked out and your hair was a mess. Your clit hurt from the over stimulation, but you couldn’t help to smile as you imagined the scene over and over again. Your dress smelt like San’s cologne, the sweet yet musky scent making you wet just thinking about him. You finally walked into your apartment, seeing a pair of black oxfords at your shoe rack. You kicked off your heels and stripped off your dress, your naked body making its way into your bedroom where your panties were sitting pretty on your bed. You giggled as you entered the bathroom.

There he was, glistening under the water. His eyes opened and his soft smile made your heart melt as he pulled you into his embrace.

“I love you, San.” Was all you could muster up as he caressed your face, leaning in to give you another long kiss.

He pulled back and laughed, “Same time next week, beautiful?”

[jadekitty777]

Hero for the Day

So to celebrate Father’s Day... how about a quick little drabble for my little dragon and bird duo! I just recently finished this one, and it’s one of my absolute favorites too. And it really just seems to fit the spirit of the holiday.

Rating: K

Word Count: 2,100

Ao3 Link: Hero for The Day

Summary: Huntress, the new family dog, has gone missing. Qrow doesn't particularly care - so why is everyone acting like it's all up to him to find her?

~

His first drink was just being placed down when his scroll rang. Qrow sipped the first glorious sip of the high-quality scotch as he eyed the ID. As he answered it, he was fully expecting to hear Tai’s bubbly voice.

When all he got was his blubbering niece instead, he went into high alert. “Ruby? What’s wrong?”

“Uncle Qrow, I can’t find Huntress!” She sniveled out.

Relief swept through him and he rolled his eyes. “Ah, I’m sure she’s around kiddo. She’s too fat to get far.”

They had only gotten the overweight, two-year-old corgi a few weeks ago and she was already trouble – which was exactly what he had warned Tai about. But his partner had insisted, saying it would be a good addition for their family. He even roped his own kids into the excitement, and Qrow was a little weak when it came to being triple-teamed with puppy-dog eyes. So they adopted the over-yeasted loaf of bread and within three days she’d already peed on the rug twice and chewed through his nicest pair of dress shoes.

He could certainly say that if she’d actually run off that he wouldn’t be the least bit upset.

But for an eight-year-old, it was the biggest crisis of her life. “I looked everywhere! She’s not in her bed. Or anywhere in the kitchen! What if she’s stuck somewhere?”

Maybe we need to look for holes in the flooring. Qrow had to take another drink so he wouldn’t laugh. “Well, she’ll come out of hiding if you pour her food.”

“I already tried that! She isn’t anywhere!” Ruby wailed. “Yang said she probably got out when daddy brought in the groceries! You have to come home and help me find her before a Grimm eats her!”

Oh no. No way. He didn’t put up with a week’s worth of teaching classes with the brattiest students in all of Patch to NOT enjoy his Friday drinking night. “A Grimm’s not going to eat her Ruby. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”

“You don’t understand, this is a matter of life and death!! You’re a huntsman, you gotta save her!”

He fought the urge to sigh but was spared from having to come up with anything to say when he heard Tai shout in the background, “Ruby, you know you’re not supposed to take my scroll without asking!”

“Tell Uncle Qrow he has to come home soon, okay?!” Her demand grew faint as the device was taken from her.

He must have been covering the speaker, because his voice became muffled. “I will. Now go get into your coat and then we can go looking okay? Yang, help her out will you!” His voice came through a lot clearer as he pulled the phone to his ear. “Sorry Qrow. She’s really devastated.”

“You don’t say.” He said, swirling his glass so the ice would clink together.

“I can see you’re torn up about it too.” He quipped sarcastically.

“Utterly brokenhearted.” Qrow assured.

“In that case, I’m sure you’re just rushing on over here then, aren’t you?” Before he could even open his mouth to argue, Tai was adding, “You know it would mean the world to Ruby if you were here.”

Damn him. He sunk a bit in his chair, grumbling, “That was low man.”

Tai’s only response was a jovial, “See you soon! Love you!” And then the call was ended.

Qrow sighed, quickly downing the rest of his drink and leaving the money on the table. As he headed out of the bar, he was tempted to call up Oz and blame him for not warning him he’d have to worry about puppy patrol duty. Not that his old Headmaster would do anything more than laugh at his misfortune.

He hurried down the alley, taking to the sky, intent on finding the little menace as soon as possible so he could get back to his night.

~

Qrow couldn’t help but wince as the slam of the girls’ bedroom door echoed down from the second floor.

Nothing. Three hours of searching, and there was nothing. He’d even used the skills he’d been taught for hunting deer to try and figure out which way the dog had run, but there were no imprints in any of the soft soil of the forest or the sandy spots around the house. It was as if she’d just disappeared into thin air.

That only left one actual possibility, the one he’d reassured Ruby couldn’t have possibly of happened: that a Grimm, likely a Nevermore, had swooped down and snatched the dog up when she got into the yard. He would say that should have been impossible with such a short timeframe to work with and there having been a Huntsman not even twenty feet away; but with his semblance around, such improbable things suddenly became a lot more likely.

A sniffle drew his attention to the living room where Yang and Tai were.

Tai knelt so he could hug her. “You okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah. Just sad.” Her words where muffled against his chest.

“I know.” He rubbed her back. “But, hey! Let’s not lose hope yet. It is really dark. How about first thing tomorrow morning, we go looking again? We’ll be sure to find her when it’s light out.”

“No.”

“No?” Tai echoed, looking down at her in confusion.

She pulled away from him, rubbing her fists into her eyes. “Things don’t come back when they go away.”

Qrow sucked in a sharp breath, and when his partner looked up at him, expression practically pleading for help, he finally spoke up, “Yang, that’s not true.”

She looked towards him. “Then where’s Huntress?”

“I- well. We’ll find her.” Now it was his turn to plead for help.

“Yeah, we will!” His partner jumped in as he placed a hand on her head. “Who knows, she may even be home in time for breakfast.”

Yang didn’t seem very convinced. “Okay. I’ma go check on Ruby.”

“Alright honey.” Tai stood, watching her scurry up the stairs. Once she was well out of earshot, he ruffled his hair agitatedly. “Fuck.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, snipping as he headed for the kitchen, “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Qrow - come on now.”

He heard the other’s footsteps as he followed him but didn’t bother to slow down. He snatched a beer from the fridge and stepped out onto the porch. The moon above was bright, illuminating the yard and the faint chirping of crickets echoed from the surrounding forest. He lent up against the railing, twisting off the cap of the bottle and chugging half of it. Tai shut the door behind them, coming to stand beside him. He expected him to say something – reassure him with that boundless optimism he always tried to carry – but he stayed oddly silent. Somehow, that was even more annoying.

Qrow slammed the bottle down, grunting, “Why’d you even have me come back, huh? What good did that do?”

Tai folded his arms over the railing, glancing sideways at him. “You know, you are so stupid sometimes.”

“Uh, what?”

His ire didn’t even seem to make Tai twitch. “Why do you think the first person Ruby thought to call when she was having a problem was you?”

 “Uh, I don’t know?” He shrugged. “‘Cause more of us looking means more chances to find her?”

He snorted. “That’s some impressive logic for an eight-year-old. But no.” He turned to face him, leaning his hip against the rail. “It’s because you’re her hero Qrow.”

Qrow felt like someone had just jabbed a crystal of lightning dust right into his back. “I am?”

“Yeah. To her, there’s nothing you can’t do.” He laughed, looking up at the sky. “I even heard her tell Yang once that she knew you could put back together the moon if you weren’t so busy saving everyone else.”

He followed his gaze, smiling faintly. Her hero, huh? He remembered having one of those when he was her age. How he’d ask every adult in the tribe for just one more story about the Grimm Reaper or how his mother had used the last of their spare fabric one winter to sew him a cape. He knew it wasn’t quite the same as the cloak she was said to wear, but it had been big enough to pretend with when he was smaller.

His smile weakened, then fell.

He also remembered when those stories stopped. How his father finally told him the hero he thought was undefeatable had been killed. It had flipped his worldview upside down, showing him the unkindness lurking just outside their wooden walls.

He picked up his bottle. “Yeah well, eventually she’s going to figure out that stuff ain’t true.”

His partner laughed softly. “Of course she will. That’s all part of growing up.” He shoved his shoulder slightly. “But kids need someone to look up to; someone to strive to be like. You certainly wouldn’t be the same without your hero, right?”

Qrow rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess so. But I’m not exactly a role model.”

“Only in some ways you’re not.” Tai gave a pointed look at the beer before focusing back on him. “But right now, Ruby can only see all the good things about you. So, instead of being a Pessimistic Perry about it, try and hold onto that for as long as you can, and appreciate it while it’s there.” He turned away, expression unusually somber, “After all, it doesn’t last forever. And once it’s gone, it never really comes back.”

He rolled the bottle around on the rim of its bottom end, feeling like he was missing something as he tried to decipher that look. “Do-” He had just started to ask, when a soft crying had him changing tracks, “Do you hear that?”

Tai lifted his head some, both of them staying very quiet.

And there it was again – an insistent and high-pitched whining coming from below them.

They shared a wide-eyed look before leaping over the railing. As they crouched down to look through the latticework that was supposed to close off the underside of the porch, Qrow took out his scroll and flipped on the flashlight. It took a moment of searching, but eventually he spotted movement and paused the beam on it.

“Oh my gods!” Tai breathed, his smile near manic as it spread across his lips.

Sure enough, Huntress was there, tucked away against the wall where the foundation of the house met the ground. And she wasn’t alone – four little bundles were curled up by her belly, squirming occasionally. They were the ones making all the racket.

“Guess she wasn’t fat after all.” Qrow snorted. Just their luck they’d get a pregnant dog.

Tai felt along the wood, probably debating where to break through it. “I wonder how she even got under there? Do you think we’ve got a hole somewhere?”

Or she made one. He thought with a snicker, trying to get a better look at the pups. They were mostly just blobs of color – three brown and one black. “Maybe we should just pull up the floorboards?”

“Yeah, that might be smarter. I’ll go get the tools.” The blond bounced to his feet, his liveliness renewed. He jabbed him lightly in the arm when he stood up next to him. “As for you, I think there’s a little girl upstairs waiting for her hero to come save the day.”

“Ah, come on.” He shoved him back, though dutifully climbed up the porch steps, convincing himself he was only doing it to stop all the rampant waterworks. He paused before going inside, chuckling secretively when he caught the excited little hop Tai performed as he sprinted for the shed. It was hard to tell if he was so happy because they had actually found the dog or because they now had four puppies they were stuck with raising.

Ah, who was he kidding. It was absolutely the puppies.

Qrow crossed through the house, scaling the stairs to the second floor until he was standing in front of the girls’ bedroom, hearing their faint whispering. Just as he was about to knock, Tai’s question pushed its way through his head again.

Why had Ruby chosen to call him when her dad was right there?

The more he thought it over, and coupled it with Yang’s practical, almost too grown-up reasoning, the more the picture became clear and his partner’s somber expression began making more sense.

At least he knew how to make it go away, even if only for one night.

Qrow pulled open the door. “Ruby, Yang! Get out here. You won’t believe who your dad just found!”

-

A/N: This one was Prompt 57: “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

[gardenflowerswriting]

Halloween with Ragnar

A/N: Reader is ragnars daughter, and hehe, this was supposed to be up November 1st halloween, but seems I fell asleep on my couch before I could finish.

"Guys, turn down the music!" You sat in the front of a red car, you're friends giggly as they danced to some song by Beyoncé and Jay Z.

"Have you eva seen a crowd goin ape shit?" They screamed.

You could feel the terror in your heart, you were sure your father could hear anything, and being down the road wouldn't matter, "guys! Do you want me to get caught?"

One of them laughed, "Come on y/n, it's Halloween, have fun."

"-or are you scared? The Ghosts are out y'know? OoOooOo," Jessi leaned forward, making a motion with her hands.

"Can you just drop me off already?"

They laughed, "Alright, alright, here you are," the car stopped three houses down. They knew the retinue, if a car pulled into the driveway, all your brothers would wake up and probably wonder where you were. Going into your room to find the horribly crafted pillow person you left in your place.

You were supposed to be in bed, it was 3 am and you knew you'd get yelled at if you were caught, but you had a retinue. Leave the ladder by your window, but lay it sideways so no one noticed, and always leave a sliver in your room window open. "Bye," you whispered.

They only gave a smile, "don't get caught."

You gave a joking nod, and began your walk in the cold wind. You were dressed as a police officer, it would have been an okay costume, except for the parts that may have been hanging out. Your breasts were pressed together, and you struggled with the bottom of your pants, pulling them down. The only thing you had to cover you was a thick coat, you were glade to bring it, even though everyone teased you for it.

You walked around the house, finding the ladder you left for your return, "Hello love," you talked to it like it was your best friend. It was, it got you out of a lot of sit down talks with your dad. "Okay," you lifted it up, the cold metal touching your skin, it rested against the frame of your window, and you began your climb. "-and," when you went to open the window, it didn't budge, "what the fuck?!" You tried again, but it wouldn't move, "no, no, no." The damn thing wouldn't fucking move. You looked up the frame and noticed someone locked it closed. Probably Ivar, he knew you always snuck out and sometimes he'd be a bitch about it. "Fuck," you whisper silently. Your only hope was to go through the front door, not wake up Bugsy, your 100 pound German Shepard, walk up the stairs in your costume, and hope no one gets up to get a drink.

That was easy, you thought as you climbed down the ladder, laying it against the house again. You felt yourself tiptoeing to the door, even though the grass gave you a safe haven. You lifted the mat and retrieved the sliver key, slipping it into the slot and placing it back. You took a deep breath, you got this, this shit is so easy. You've done worse, and gotten in more trouble. You took a step into the warm house, it felt so nice, the air touching all the parts your coat couldn't. You began to tread across the wooden floors, you had to pass the living room to even touch the stairs.

"Where were you?" You jumped when your head turned to a shadow in the deep leather brown chair.

You squinted before noticing your father sitting there. Of coarse he sat there, that was his spot, "dad?"

"Y/n," his voice turning into a slate line, "where were you?"

You felt yourself wanting to drown in a puddle, "Dad, can I just go to my room please."

"No!" He stood, walking towards you. Your face scrunched when you remember what you were wearing under your coat. Ragnar noticed your slanted hat, "what in the fuck are you wearing?" His eyes running down your legs to notice your fishnet tights.

"Dad, really it's nothing."

"Y/N, where were you?" You could almost hear the anger in his voice. He repeated the question but it was too hard to answer.

You thought of crying, he always fell for it. He couldn't see you cry, it only made him feel at fault, and you the victim. "Dad, Ubbe and Hvitserk both left too!"

"But they told me Y/N."

"But-but you would never let me go out!"

"Because you're dressed like that!" He motioned to your clothes.

You ran your hand over your hair, "can I please go change."

He laughed, "oh no, you wanna go out like that, you should be damn well prepared to wear it at home as well."

You could feel the tears forming, you didn't want to cry, but it always seemed like a safe haven, "gods! You and I both know it is only because they are boys that you don't care for them!" You turned past him and began marching to your room.

"Y/n! Y/n!" You didn't turn around, you didn't care to.

It wasn’t long before you heard a knock on your door. You prepared for this, you prepared for everything. Your body was laid across your white comforter, and you were forcing the tears out. They didn’t want to fall down your face and ruin your make up, but they knew it was for sympathy, the card you played too well. “Y/N?” You heard the door open, the screws were all in, making it creek. He sighed, “y/n come on,” his voice soft now.

“What?” You heard your own voice crack.

He shuffled closer to you, Thank full to see you wearing sweatpants and an old sweatshirt of his, you looked so cute when you wore his clothes, even though your drowned in them. “If you’re gonna yell at me again, you can just go.” He sighed, shuffling across you floors to sit on your bed. It made your legs dip into his weight, and he began to tickle your feet, “stop!” You said with no tone, trying not to laugh.

He smiled, “remember when you always went trick-or-treating with me? We’d dress up as a princess and a prince an-and Id go around with you on my shoulders?”

You rolled your eyes, he played his own sympathy card, “I was like five.”

He tickled your feet again, “but you loved it.”

You let out a smile, “stop,” your eyes still starting at the white warm beige walls of your room.

“Look at me,” he leaned back to lay on your bed, getting a view of your wet cheeks, “I’m sorry. . . I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

You whipped your nose, “but you did.”

He gave a faint smile, his hand pushing your hair away from your face, “and I shouldn’t have.” You could see his smile dip, “I-I just hate to see you growing up.”

You leaned on your elbow, “but I am, you let Hvitserk and Ubbe go out tonight, I should be allowed too. I’m only a year younger than Hvitty.”

“But like you said their boys,” he scrunched his nose, “boys who don’t care about girls hearts like yours.” He smiled, “I don’t need to be another grandfather, Bjorn already took care of that.”

“Dad, ew I’m not having sex!”

He smiled, “I know, of Coarse you aren’t.”

“Then why don’t you trust me?”

His blue eyes dance over your face, “I love you too much to let you go.” It was silent for a few more moments, till he pulled himself up, “I’m watching a movie, if you want you can watch it too.”

You turned your head to see his again, “what is it?”

He smiled, “beetle juice.”

Of course if was fucking beetle juice. He watched that with you every year as a kid, letting you snuggle into his lap and fall asleep on his chest before the movie could get to the parts of the family dancing around the table, singing due to the control of beetle juice. You sighed, “sure.”

Tags: @naaladareia @hail-kattegat @readsalot73 @ivarslittlebadgirl @tephi101

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Second Chance at Forever - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of this year’s entry for the @dwsecretsanta, my present to @wordsintimeandspace!  Beta’d by the always-kind @stupidsatsuma​

@doctorroseprompts​ and @timepetalscollective​ as an AU fic

General warnings for: alcohol use, cursing, discussions of sexual activities

Masterlist

AO3

Summary

Once upon a time, a boy and girl met at a bar and fell in love - until he ghosted her.

Five years later Rose Tyler’s best friend Mickey is getting married, and arranges a dinner for her to meet the groomsman she’ll be walking with - unaware that the two already know each other.

John Noble’s not sure how his friend and mentee managed to connive with the Universe to bring the One Who Got Away back into his life; all he knows it carefully built and maintained walls are crashing to the ground with no warning.

Rose stalked down the street towards the Tube station, half-dragging Tony along as she fumed.  Thankfully, he was so caught up in the ‘fancy grown up dinner’ and recapping the entire meal for her even though she’d been there that he didn’t notice when she ignored him, lost in her thoughts and anger.

That bastard.

Who did he think he was, showing up in her life after five years of radio silence?  To think he could talk to her.  Talk about what?  It was far too late for his excuses or justifications.  If he wanted to talk, he should’ve returned her calls or texts.  How hard was it to say ‘this isn’t working for me, leave me alone’?  Sure, she might’ve been devastated, a little heartbroken and confused, but she could’ve dealt.  It was being ignored, left hanging in the breeze, that angered her.

I deserved better, she thought fiercely, knowing it was true.  I deserved respect, not to be tossed away like, like… a used plaything.  I deserved better.

“Rosie, this is our stop,” Tony broke through her fog, tugging her to a halt.  Looking up at the sign she realized it was, before sighing.

Be angry later.  Take care of Tony now.  “Good catch, little man.  Let’s go.”  They made their way down the steps and onto the train, and for the rest of the trip home she made more of an effort to interact with him instead of letting John ruin her night with her brother.

There were only three men in the world who deserved her time and energy, and John was not one of them.

Not anymore.

Finally slowing to a stop, John took in his surroundings properly for the first time in over twenty minutes.  With a jolt he recognized the location, quickly finding the door he must have subconsciously been aiming for all along.

Ringing in the bell, he started talking as soon as the door opened.  “I’m in trouble.”  Looking up when he got no response, he realized that rather than his best friend, it was his partner standing before him, looking immaculate in a three-piece suit and rather amused.

“I sure hope Jack’s not the father, that would make our friendship rather awkward,” Ianto drawled, stepping back and letting him in, guiding him towards the sitting room just off the hall.

It was too close to the truth, and John just barked out a laugh.  “Sorry.  Is Jack around?”

“I’ll get him, and a cuppa while you wait.  Or would you rather coffee?”

John sank into a plush armchair by the empty fireplace and rubbed his eyes, drained.  “I think it might be more of a scotch conversation, but thanks.”

“Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”  Ianto disappeared back into the hall, and left alone with his thoughts, John leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he tried to order his swirling thoughts.

“Doc?  Everything all right?”  Jack hurried into the room, dropping into the other armchair as his boyfriend settled the silver serving tray on the little table between them.

“Not really.”  John eased his eyes open, staring at his friend.  “I think I’ve fucked up.”

“What’s going on?  Yan said you were in trouble?”  Jack leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he stared intensely at him, no trace of his usual playfulness or humor.  “Tell me.”

“I saw Rose.”

Jack’s sharp inhale said he still remembered her.  “Where?  How?  When?  What did you do?”

“I had that dinner tonight, with Martha and her boyfriend, remember?”  Jack nodded.  “She’s the bridesmaid they want me to walk with in the wedding.”

“Wow.”  Jack’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t seem to grasp the situation.  “How is that you fucking up, though?  Did you say something inappropriate?  Do Martha and what’s-his-face know about your history together?”

John shook his head, nausea rolling through his stomach as he prepared to face it out loud.  “Jack…”

“What?”

“She’s got a kid.”

After a moment his friend’s eyes widened, mouth dropping.  “And you think…”

“He’s the right age,” John said miserably, “with red hair, like Donna.”

“You met him?”

“She brought him to dinner.  And every time I looked at him, she got weird and tense about it.  And when I tried to talk to her as we were leaving, she ignored me.”  He hung his head in his hands, nerves and guilt roiling in his stomach.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

John looked up at the sound of cut crystal moving against each other to find Jack opening the decanter and pouring scotch into the empty tea cups.

“I don’t think a hot toddy’s enough for this conversation,” Jack flashed him a grin.  “Don’t tell Yan.”

He accepted the mug full of scotch with shaking hands, taking a fortifying sip.  “What do I do?”

“Are you sure the kid’s yours?”

John considered that, staring into the empty fireplace without seeing it, trying to replay the dinner.  “I mean, I guess not, but… she was so weird about it, you know?  Tense.”

“Did he look like you?”

“Not really… redhead like Donna, but he mostly looked like her.  Rose.”

“What’re you going to do?”

Shrugging miserably, John made a helpless gesture.  “What can I do?”

“You need to talk to her, man.”

“I tried, she shut me down!”

“Do you still have her number?”

He didn’t reply.

“John?  Do you?”

Sighing softly, he nodded.  “Yeah.”

“Then call her, try to arrange a meeting.”

“I will.”

Jack let the silence hang there until John looked up, finding himself being watched expectantly.  “What, now?”

“Yes, now.  I want to make sure you do it.”

Grumbling, he nonetheless pulled out his mobile, scrolling to her name and hovering over the ‘call’ button, still unsure.  “What if she hangs up on me?”

“Just dial.”

Biting his lip and closing his eyes, he connected the call, raising it to his ear.

“Speakerphone,” Jack hissed, though both of their faces fell when a recording stated the line was no longer in service.

“Fuck.”

“D’you know where she lived?” his friend suggested hopefully, but John just shook his head.

“No- we were only ever at mine, or we met somewhere.”

“How long were you and this girl together?”

John rubbed his hand over the top of his head, sighing.  “Ten days.”

“Ten days, five years ago,” Jack mused.  “Once is all it takes.  Did you wear a condom?”

“Of course I did,” John snapped, looking up at him.  “And she was on the pill.  But it can happen.”

“See if you can get her number from Martha, then.  Or her address.”

“And say what?” he scoffed, pocketing his mobile again.  “I don’t want her to know – not yet.  What would she think of me?”

Jack let that hang heavily between them for long minutes before finally asking, “What if it’s true?”

“What?”

“What’re you going to do if he’s your kid?” he expanded, leaning back and crossing his arms.  “What if he is?  What if she doesn’t want him to have anything to do with you?”

The possibilities were too horrible to consider.  “I’ll deal with that when I know for sure.  But first, I need to know.”

“When will you see her again?”

“What?”

“For the love of- you’re both in the wedding party, yeah?  I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t asked, but aren’t there more events coming up?  Parties, rehearsals, that sort of thing?”

“There’s an engagement party in a few weeks,” John said slowly, thinking it through.  “I could try to talk to her then, if she goes.”

“That’s the spirit!”

After finally getting Tony to bed, Rose collapsed on her couch in front of the telly, flicking through the channels without seeing the programs, mind racing.

Why did the universe decide to throw them together again?  What did she do to deserve this?  She was happy, damn it, had moved on with her life.  She had a good job, nice friends.  Her parents, Tony.  A roof over her head.  She went out on dates, occasionally.

She was satisfied with her life, even if she wasn’t being… satisfied.  Which just reminded her of how good he’d been at that, and grabbing one of the throw pillows, screamed into it in frustration.

And to think, he’d had the audacity to want to speak with her.  Why?  What could he possibly think he could say that could make up for the last five years?

She’d been falling for him.  Two short weeks and she’d been arse over teakettle, until he stood her up for a date.  She’d called, texted, even stopped by his flat – only to be soundly ignored.  Radio silence.

After a week she got the message, deleting his number in a fit of rage before changing her own.  By the first of the next month, she’d changed her entire life; new number, new job, new hair color.  New Rose.

Same broken heart.

Her mobile rang then, and she didn’t bother to check the caller ID before answering.  “What?”

“So, what the hell was that?” Mickey asked pleasantly, and Rose groaned, sinking deeper into the couch.

“Sorry, think you’ve got the wrong number.”

“Rose.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“What was with the weird vibe between you and John all night?”

“There wasn’t a vibe,” she denied, falling sideways and stretching out.

“The whole point of dinner was for you to get to know each other, yet you pretty much ignored him.  Which was impressive, considering he never took his eyes off you.”

“Maybe he recognized me,” Rose suggested, folding an arm behind her head and tucking her mobile into the crook of her elbow, letting it rest there.

“Yeah, but not as the Vitex heiress.  Was more personal than that.”

She stayed silent, listening to the breathing on the other end of the line.  Sometimes it sucked to have a best friend who knew her so well.  Then she thought of the other girls she was ‘friends’ with, the other high society heiresses, and knew she was lucky to have someone like Mickey in her corner.  Even if occasionally it was a pain.  “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it, but it’s not a problem, yeah?  Promise not to make trouble – your big day’s too important to me for that.”

“Oh, that’s reassuring,” Mickey snarked.  “Big weight off my chest.  Seriously, if you want or need to talk…”

Rose let him trail off.

“Fine.  Do what you want.  But, please- don’t ruin this for me.”

“I’ll do my best not to.”

“Good enough – for now.  Right, gotta go.  Love you babe.”

“Love you too.”

The call ended, and now she was faced with a different problem – figuring out how to keep her word.

Mickey ended the call, frowning.

“So what did she say?” Martha asked, setting the mugs on the coffee table in favor of curling up in her fiancé’s arms.

“Denies everything, of course, then promises it won’t be an issue – meaning it’s not nothing.  They definitely know each other.”

“I wonder how,” she mused, handing him his cuppa.  “How would they have crossed paths?”

Mickey shrugged one shoulder carefully, lest he disturb her.  “Dunno.  Some charity event, maybe?”

“Like a fundraiser?  Nah, that’s not his thing.  Volunteering, or actually doing something to help, maybe.  Wonder what went wrong.”

“You could always just call the Doc and ask,” he pointed out, making her scoff.

“Absolutely not.  He’d probably head for the hills.  No, we need to figure this out together.”

“How?”

Martha bit her lip, staring off into space as she thought.  “We should set them up.  You know, like a blind date or something?  Then spy.”

“Rose won’t go for it,” he predicted.  “She’ll figure out that’s the plan in a second, if it comes from us.”

“Well, what’s your idea?”

Mickey shook his head, looking around in hopes of inspiration.  His gaze landed on a picture of him and Rose as kids, and he slowly smiled as it came to him.  “It doesn’t come from us.”

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Mickey got excited, realizing it might work.  “I’ll get Jackie to set her up, and you have Jack tell him – they may guess it’s coming from us, but they won’t know.  Then they’ll go, and see each other, and maybe it’ll get resolved and we won’t have to worry!”

“What if we just make it worse?”  Martha worried her thumb over the mug’s handle.  “What if they can’t stand each other, and ruin the wedding?”

“Worst comes to worst, we’ll make Leo and Rose walk and stick Shonara with John,” he figured.  “Odds are they’ll be fighting by then anyway, and want a break.”

“True.”

“So, we’ll set them up?”

Martha grinned, reaching for her mobile.  “I’ll call Jack.”

[turdblossommm]

Hidden Healing {3}

Summary: Steve’s got a big secret he’s keeping form the team, and it’s you and your daughter. He took a page out of the Clint Barton playbook and put you on a huge farm and hide you away form the world, or just Hydra. Your ties to them make it dangerous for you to be out in the real world. When Steve gets hurt and you are the only one that can help he puts his family’s safety in question.

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Reader x Bucky (Platonic)

A/N: Hey guys since Infinity Wars has got me feeling angsty, I got and angsty couple of parts for you guys. I hope you enjoy it and the gif isn’t mine

Masterlist

Steve stay for the remainder of the week, help you around the house and using as much time as he could with Sarah. The two were off somewhere and you sat on the porch with Bucky. You sipped your coffee in peace watching the animals move along the property.

“Did you ever think you’d get out of there?” Bucky turned to you and you sipped the hot coffee

“I thought I’d die with Hydra, shit Bucky I hoped for it every day” He looked at you with knowing eyes

“I get it, sometimes I wish I died when I fell off that train” You nodded

“I wish I was never a mutant, I could’ve just finished my Red Room training and ran away” You sighed “But I would’ve never got Steve or Sarah, or experience true happiness” You looked over at Bucky “You’ll find someone”

“What’s it like?” Bucky blue eyes bore into yours

“What?”

“Being in love, having someone you can constantly to depend on” You smiled thinking of Steve

“Writers will make it out to be this grandiose thing and people fall in love with the sheer thought of love. They make it sound like something so big and scary, but its like breathing. Humans are not solitary creature and they can practically fall in love with anyone or anything. You can love everyone in this world but you can only love one person unconditionally. And that takes your breath away, it’s like a certain freshness and a softy net all at once” You smiled at Bucky

“And until you find that person, we will always be here for you Bucky. Even if it take another hundred years” You punched his shoulder to lighten the mood. He cracked a smile and turned back to his coffee and paper. You turned to look over the horizon to see Steve walking with Sarah. You smiled, he was so good with her, you wished her was here more for her. You felt like he was missing her childhood, soon she’ll be school age and start figuring out that her dad’s always gone. You fear the possibility of resentment

“Hey doll” Steve bent down and kissed your cheek as Sarah climbed in you lap

“How was the walk?” You asked you daughter and she launched into an animated story about the walk. In the afternoon Bucky took Sarah off your hands so you and Steve could be alone since it was their last day. Steve’s hand rested on your exposed belly as you laid in bed after certain activities took place

“I love you” You murmured into his chest and is kissed the top of your head

“I love you too”

“I hate when you leave”

“Me too doll, but someone’s got to save the world” You shook your head

“You saved it enough times” You grumbled

“Y/N”

“I know, I know. I just miss you” You kissed his lips and curled into his side and eventually slipped into a deep slumber

In the morning you made everyone breakfast and it was a quieter breakfast, even Sarah seemed to know they were leaving today. When 11 o’clock came around they packed their bag and threw them in the truck.

“Come back whole” You kissed Steve and turned to Bucky

“Keep an eye on him” He hugged you

“Always do” He kissed your cheek and then they were gone. You busied your self for the rest of the day, trying not to think about sleeping alone tonight.

Once Steve and Bucky arrive at the tower they were called into a series of meetings and introduced to a long list of mission for the next six months. Steve panicked inside, he can’t be away for six months especially now that you’re pregnant. Tony ended the meeting and Steve followed everyone in the training room. Steve fought with Sam, he landed a solid easy punch to  Steve’s face

“You okay?” Sam leaned over Steve and he nodded “You sure? You seem pretty out of it” Sam gave him a sideways glance

“I’m fine”

The team was a month in to the non stop mission and it was taking a toll on them. They were exhausted but the trail was hot and they couldn’t stop. Steve tried to get messages to you but he didn’t have reception or a cell, it was always something.

Luckily the next mission was a simple recon, in and out and then they get a small break over the weekend. Turns out the ‘empty’ warhorse wasn’t empty. No one came prepaired for the fight like this, bullets we flying and Steve lost his shield along the way. He was back to back with Bucky, he fought anyone who got close enough in hand to hand while Bucky shot the Hydra agent in the distance. No one saw it coming, Bucky did but it was too late and three bullets were shot into Steve’s chest

“Steve’s down, I’m taking him to the jet” Bucky yelled over the coms and threw Steve over his shoulder and fought his way to Bruce on the Quinjet. He placed him on the table and Banner went to work. Steve may be a super solider, but he wasn’t immortal. Tony waved the white flag and pulled everyone back to the jet and tried to get back to the compound as fast as he could.

Once they arrived Steve was conscious again, Bruce hadn’t been able to make and progress on Steve since all the bullets were next to his heart and going towards

“Were looking at a Tony situation” Bruce said referring to the scrap metal that was once closing in on Tony’s heart. Bucky paced the room and looked at Steve

“I have to call her”

“No leave her out of this” Steve snapped

“Are you kidding me Steve?” Bucky looked at him “She maybe the only one who can save you Steve and what about Sarah? Are you going-“

“Bucky stop, if she does this it will hurt her and maybe kill the baby” Steve glanced at an eavesdropping Bruce

“You stop Steve! Are you really going to leave them alone?” Bucky looked at him best friend dumbfounded

“You’ll watch over them” Steve replied looking away

“She’ll hate you and the kids will resent you, just like you did your old man. You’re going to leave them like he left you and your mom? Send Y/N to an early grave and leave the kids struggle” Bucky guilted him

“Stay out of my marriage Bucky” Steve growl

“Then stop being an ass” Bucky slammed his hand on the table “I’m calling her, I don’t care what you say, I’m not going to watch you destroy your family and make the same mistake your dad did” Bucky left he room and flipped open his phone and his finger hovered over your name. He leaned his head against the wall, was he doing the right thing? Of course he was, Steve was about to leave you with two kids in a world where you don’t exist. He pressed your name and placed the phone next to his ear

A month went by without so much as a text from Steve and it worried you. Normally he tries to check in a least once a day. You paced the kitchen and nearly jumped out of your skin when your phone rang. Caller ID ready Bucky’s name and you thought that was odd.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N” Bucky’s voice was shaky

“What’s wrong?” You started panicking, thinking the worst

“We need you in the city, It’s Steve” Everything inside you wanted to ask a millions questions, but you stoped yourself. Whatever it is, it’s urgent. He wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t

“Give me an hour”

“Drive safe, I’ll text you the address” He clicked the phone off and you ran up the stair to grab your go bag and Sarah’s. You quietly pulled a sleeping Sarah out of her bed and strapped her in the car seat. You made it to the city and hour later just as the sun was rising

“Mommy where are we?” Sarah tiny voice asked as you parked

“We’re going to help uncle Bucky” You turned her

“Are we going to see Daddy?” you gave her a weak smiled

“I don’t know sweetie, hopefully” You turned to the front and wiped the stray tear away and looked up a the compound before you.

Tag list

@astudyoftimeywimeystuff @thewhinersoldier

[exhoe-imagines]

Marked|| Werewolf!Jaebum Smut

Anonymous Requested: “could you do a jaebum werewolf au! smut (oneshot) where he's in heat and he accidentally marks you while having sex even though you two have been dating for a while, and he gets really fluffy afterwards n stuff??? thank u!!”

A/N: I hope you enjoy and I apologize if I went a little...overboard. - Admin Jewels

Words Count: 1581

Warnings: Smut, slight Daddy kink, dom/sub, mentions of blood

Your phone suddenly rings, waking you from your sleep. You clumsily move your hands through the sheets, trying to find the phone. After locating it, you press the answer button, not even bothering to check the caller id.

“Hello?” you say groggily.

“B-babe… Where are you?” a voice says urgently.

“Jaebum? Uh… I’m in bed. It’s like 3 in the morning,” you whine.

“Please come over, it's an emergency!” he yells loudly, grimacing like he’s in pain.

The urgency in his voice is alarming and shoots adrenaline through your body. You’re immediately stumbling out of bed and reaching for clothes.

“I’ll be right there, ok?” you say before ending the call.

You pull on some pants and a hoodie before grabbing your keys and rushing out the door. You just started dating Jaebum about two months ago, and you had never heard him sound so distressed. What the hell was going on with him? Was he injured? Did he get in a fight? So many thoughts were running through your head as you sped down the road, navigating the streets to his apartment. You finally pull up to his place and race up the stairs to his front door. You open the door, not even bothering to knock.

“Jaebum! Are you ok?” you yell, running room to room. Then you spot him, completely naked, standing in his bedroom with his back to you. You watch as his arm muscles flex in front of him as if he were...

“Babe… What the hell?” you stop in the doorway, suddenly frozen with realization. A bundle of metal is on the ground next to him. Are they chains? You can’t believe you didn’t think of it before. He was in heat.

“Y/N! There you are,” he says before dropping his arms and crossing the room to embrace you. Then you see his eyes. They’re dark and hungry with lust. Before you have time to back away, he has you against the wall.

“Look… I know what you’re thinking,” he says with a dark grin on his face. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I just need… this…” he says as he roughly grabs onto your hips and grinds into you with his hard on. A small groan escapes from his mouth.

Your mouth goes dry as your heart starts to race. He looks like a madman, standing there completely naked holding you against the wall. His wide eyes dart over your body with a predatory gaze. “Please,” he quietly moans, looking back into your eyes.

You had never seen Jaebum so desperate, so needy. The lust was seeping from his body, almost calling out to you. His usual controlled demeanor is nowhere to be found.

“J, I thought that it’s not safe for you to be with me while you’re in heat,” you mumble remembering what he had said when he first explained the technicalities of being a werewolf.

“Don’t worry about it!” he chuckles, sounding anxious. “Daddy will take good care of you,” he whispers, scanning his hungry eyes over your body.

He holds your arms against the wall, not letting you escape. His lips find your neck, nibbling lightly and causing you to let out a small moan. His mouth continues working down until your clothes are in the way.

“Please! Just say yes,” he suddenly whines, inhaling the scent of your neck.

“Ok… Ok,” you finally agree, unsure what would happen if you said no. You trust him enough to know he will keep his word and be careful with you.

“Oh thank you baby!” he replies, immediately pulling your hoodie off.

His eyes linger on your chest, as he realized you weren’t wearing a bra. He leans forward, grasping both your breasts with his hands and sinks his face into them. He kisses and nibbles the soft skin, sending chills through your body.

“God I love your tits,” he mumbles into your cleavage as his hands run down your body and squeeze your ass.

“Take off your pants,” he suddenly commands as his touch leaves your body. You pull them off, leaving you in nothing but your thong. He watches pumping himself as precum falls over the tip of his cock.

“Turn around,” he orders as he moves forward and pushes you against the wall. Your legs are shaking, he had never been this rough before.

“This damn thing,” he mumbles, grabbing your thong and ripping it off your body.

He immediately moves his body against your back, and you feel him inside you all at once. He starts pushing in and out, not taking any time for you to adjust. He keeps his hands on your hips and holds tightly as his thrusts became harder. You are already out of breath, gasping every time he reenters you.

“Ah, y/n” he groans, panting loudly in your ear as he continues pounding into you. His hands move up to find your breasts. He grasps them with both hands, using them to pull you toward him. His mouth is at your neck again, laying sloppy kisses along with the sound of his heavy breathing.

“Moan for me,” he pants into your ear, suddenly increasing the speed of his thrusts. His cock is now angled to hit your sweet spot, making you gasp louder and louder. The sound of his body slapping against yours fills the room.

“I said moan! Say my goddamn name,” he yells, out of breath as one of his hands reaches up to grab your neck. His grasp around your throat is tight, making you let out a cry. His thrusts suddenly become hard and precise. He is pulling out completely, then moving back in rapidly. Every time he reenters, you moan loudly, gasping from the pleasure.

“Jaebum, keep going,” you moan, your voice humming from the vibrations his thrusts make through your body. The pleasure is coursing through your veins, causing you to tighten your grip around him.            

“You’re so tight around me, baby. Hold on I’m almost there,” he groans, pushing you further against the wall. He suddenly moves his hand to your chin, turning your face sideways to look at him.

“Look at me, I want to look into your eyes while I cum inside you,” he commands, causing you to look up at him. His thrusts start to get sloppy, he is losing control at the sight of your face. A look of ecstasy suddenly crosses his face, and his body is rocking against yours. His hips lose control as he lets out his load into you.

Suddenly, his teeth are on your neck, and he’s biting into your skin. You let out a cry from the unbearable burning sensation. His hips are still pounding against you, releasing the last of his energy.

His teeth leave your neck as his thrusts slow to a stop. Then he pulls away from you, gasping loudly.

“Shit… Shit. I’m so sorry,” he says, voice filled with concern. You can feel the hot blood running down your neck, dripping to the floor. You’re too stunned to move, your body racked with too many feelings at once.

You put your hands on the wall, pushing yourself back so that you can regain mobility. You turn to look at him and see the horror painted on his face.

“What the hell was that?” you ask, still in shock.

His eyes are wide as he stutters, “I… I marked you.”

“Uh, no. You bit me,” you say dumbfounded, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“No baby, listen it’s a werewolf thing…” he says coming forward and holding your hand. His eyes are filled with despair. It’s like he completely snapped out of his previous state.

Your eyebrows furrow as you try to comprehend what he’s saying but your mind is still a bit hazy. Jaebum notices the confusion on your face, and he sighs before starting to explain.

“Well, when a werewolf marks somebody,” he uses that term again “it bonds the two together… forever.” Your eyes widened as he speaks and Jaebum grows worried by the look on your face.

What if you leave him? What if you aren’t prepared for the lifelong commitment? His irrational thoughts cut short as you speak up.

“I’m not mad.” You notice the worried look on your boyfriend’s face and try to comfort him with calming words. Yes, you are confused by the whole situation, but as you think about it more you can’t help but feel a bit… relieved?

“You’re not?”Jaebum questioned.

You shake your head and let out a slight chuckle before continuing to talk. “In all honesty, I’m kind of glad that this happened with you. I can’t see myself spending forever with anyone else.” Your words trail off towards the end as you become increasingly more embarrassed by the second.

A few seconds of silence go by before Jaebum pulls you into a hug, burying his face into your neck and leaving a light kiss over the bite he placed there minutes beforehand. The gesture is comforting, and you return the embrace lovingly.

“I love you.” Jaebum mumbles, his warm breath exhales against your neck.  You gently coax his face towards you, giving him a soft kiss. His lips are soft against yours, the gesture gentle compared to actions earlier. You pull away, looking into his dark brown eyes and at that moment, you know there’s no one else you’d rather spend the rest of your life.

“I love you too.”

[bubblegumochi]

Moonlight

credits to @hobiga

Pairing: Jimin | Taehyung Genre: Angst, One shot Warning: Slight smut, major character death, explicit language Prompt: 4 O’Clock - R&V Words: 2k

a/n: idk aaa this is my first angst one shot and i tried oml, i hope you guys like it :P

The flames of the candle danced erratically on study table, it was the only source of light that lit the space of a tiny room. It was just like any other night, the streets illuminated by flickering lights and the air just suffocating with silence. He sat in the far corners of his bed, hugging his legs tightly against his chest as he stared into the flame with his sunken eyes.

He took absolutely no notice to the constant knocking and muffled calls of his name outside his door, just like any other night. It’s been the same, for days… maybe weeks. He hadn’t eaten much either, maybe just a couple crumbs when there’s no one around, drinking maybe half a cup of water every day might even be too much for his liking. No one knew why, or how he became such a shut in. But that wasn’t even close to what they thought he had become.

“Jimin… Please open up. Let me help you. Whatever it is, I know I can help you! Please, just let me in.”

It was Taehyung. Of course, it couldn’t be anyone else. He had always been the one there for him. No matter what, it had always been him. He was the only one Jimin would go to during hard times, the only one Jimin was willing to spill his problems to. There wasn’t anyone else in his eyes, not even his closest friend, Jungkook, at times like this. But he chose to ignore him anyways, which wasn’t like him at all.

Sliding off his bed sluggishly, Jimin pulled open his curtains for the first time that week. Squinting his eyes as the moonlight glistened through the window. “Tsk, it’s bright.” He muttered to himself,  pulling the curtains together again before crawling back into bed.

-

“Any luck, Taehyung?” Namjoon uttered, casting sideway glances at Taehyung, who simply slumped down on the couch, shaking his head in exasperation as he groaned in response to Namjoon’s question.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Namjoon shook his head in disappointment.

“Damn it! It’s been, what? Weeks? How long’s he gonna shut me out? Or.. Us.. out.” Taehyung flailed his arms in the air, letting out a loud grunt before slamming his head down into the pillow behind him.

“Try again tomorrow morning maybe? He can’t ignore you forever… ya know.”

“I guess.” Taehyung shrugged. “He’d never use to be like this, he was so much… happier, and outgoing.”

Namjoon picked up his mug from the table, then settled himself beside Taehyung. “Guess what happened affected him more than we thought… Wish we realised sooner.”

Taehyung couldn’t reply Namjoon, knowing that he’d probably choke on his words if he opened his mouth. He chewed on the insides of his cheeks, hands playing with the edges of his sleeve. He missed him, even though he knew that he was just in the next room. It wasn’t the same. He missed being able to wake up to soft kisses and warm hugs, embracing Jimin within his arms and running his long fingers through his orange locks every morning. He missed the times where he could just stare at Jimin, admiring every inch of his astonishing features. He knew it wasn’t the same now, and it hadn’t been for a long while.

But he wasn’t ready to just give up on Jimin, probably never.

-

It had to be today, the first snowfall of the year.

Jimin dreaded the morning, particularly because of how bright his room seemed to be. Sunlight seeped through his thin curtains, his orange locks seemed too bright even for his pale skin. Burying his face in his pillow, he let out a loud sigh.

“Jiminnie… You alright…? Can I co—”

“Come in, Tae.” Jimin muttered, this was probably the first time he spoke to Taehyung in the entire week that had passed. Taehyung didn’t know how to react at first, his hands gripping tightly onto the doorknob. The hard metal felt cold within his fingers, it felt… foreign. He was afraid, afraid to see Jimin for the first time in forever, though they’ve literally been in the same house. Ironically.

Taehyung gave the door a slight knock, before twisting the doorknob slowly. His heart pounding against his chest, as he then realised he’d been holding his breath the entire time.

“Jimin, I—” He began, only to be stopped as he felt Jimin wrapping his arms around his neck tightly, his lips just barely touching his owns. Jimin gave him a moment before leaning inwards towards him and embracing him completely. Taehyung’s hands found it’s way towards Jimin’s back, pulling him closer to his chest as their lips still locked together. It was soft, at first, their lips gliding over each other, before Jimin pressed himself onto Taehyung, his tongue parting the seam of his lips. It wasn’t an attention-wanting kind of kiss, it was a warm one.

“J-Jimin.” Taehyung gasped as he breaks from the kiss slightly, “Are yo— mm, are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay.” Jimin whispered in Taehyung’s ears, his hands running through Taehyung’s dark hair and tugging at its roots slightly. Pulling himself back a little, he stared into Taehyung’s eyes, before leaning for another kiss. It was short but sweet.

Jimin buried his face in Taehyung chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He missed it, he missed all of these things that he would do with Taehyung. But he knew, he shouldn’t ask for more. It was then where Taehyung felt the tears soaking through his thin sweater, Jimin shaking slightly between his arms.

“Jimin?” Taehyung asked, obviously worried at him. “Jimin, w-why are you crying?”

“I… I just… I’m just happy you’re here.” Jimin forced a smile through his tears. “I-I’m sorry.”

Taehyung couldn’t get the words out even if he wanted to. Instead, he just watched Jimin, pulling him into bed as he allowed Jimin to curl within his arms. “I’m glad you’re… okay.” Taehyung managed, wrapping his fingers around Jimin’s small hands.

“Hey, uhm. The boys and I are heading out to the studio for a bit, there’re a couple things we need to handle but we’ll be back after a few hours. We might not make it back for lunch but if you need anything text me?” Taehyung said, breaking the silence between them.

“Y-yeah… sure.”

“We’ll talk later when I come back okay? I’ve got things to tell you, since… you weren’t here with us the past few weeks…” Taehyung slid off the bed, before glancing over at Jimin, who gave him a slight nod in response.

“Guess I’ll go then.”

“Wait.” Jimin pulled at Taehyung’s wrist, planting another kiss on the corner of his lips before letting him go. Taehyung smiled, tracing Jimin’s bottom lip with his thumb before heading out of the room. “I love you.”

Taehyung turned to face him again as he heard Jimin mutter, his lips morphing into a sweet smile as he replied, “I love you too.”

-

“We’re home! It’s just Joonie-hyung and I though, the rest went back to their own places…” Taehyung called out from downstairs, shutting the door behind him as Namjoon slumped down on the couch, exhausted.

“Jiminnie? We’re back!” Taehyung called out again, expecting a reply from the boy upstairs. But there was no answer. Not even a simple “yeah”, or a grunt could be heard. “Maybe he slept… We did end way later than expected… It’s almost, uh… twelve am. Wow, that is late.” Namjoon glanced at the wall clock hanging across the living room.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t have ended so late if Jin-hyung and Kookie didn’t whine about not having lunch AND dinner together. Or if Hobi-hyung didn’t extend the choreographs, argh.” Taehyung grunted as he plopped down next to Namjoon. “I better go check on Jimin again, see if he’d eaten his dinner.” Taehyung got up again, Namjoon just nodding and leaning back onto the couch tiredly.

“Jimin?” Taehyung knocked before pushing the creaky door open, “Jimin, we’re ba—” There was no one. The room was empty, blankets and pillows were thrown all over the place, but Jimin wasn’t there. “Jiminnie? What the hell… JOONIE-HYUNG!” Taehyung yelled.

“WHAT?”

“HE’S GONE?”

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Namjoon’s voice boomed through the hallway. Heavy footsteps filled the entire house as Namjoon rushed upstairs. “Where could he go? He hadn’t opened that door by himself for how many weeks now?”

“I don’t know, he seemed better this morning. Maybe he went out to have some fresh air…” Taehyung shrugged, but a look of worry flashed over his face. “It’s past midnight though…”

The duo spends the next couple hours spamming their phones, trying to contact Jimin. There was just no answer. Nothing. Taehyung was starting to pace around the room, shaking his hands at his sides as he waited for an answer. Nothing. Namjoon heading out of the house over and over again to look for Jimin, but nothing.

Beginning to give up, they sat across each other in the living room in silence, moonlight piercing through the windows and the only sound that could be heard was Taehyung tapping his fingers on the table.

It was four o’clock in the morning. The phone rang.

Namjoon stormed towards his phone that sat precariously on the coffee table, viciously grabbing it before yelling unforgivingly into it. “Where the hell? Have you been? We called and texted you, why can’t you just answer! We were worried sick, Park Jimin!” He’d been so worried, and angry, that hadn’t even bothered to check the caller ID. His reprimands were cut to an abrupt halt as Namjoon quickly grew quiet. The sudden change in demeanour caused Taehyung to perk up in his chair, in which the younger didn’t fail to notice the cast of emotions that framed Namjoon’s features as the call grew progressively longer.

“What is it, hyung?” Taehyung got up from his chair, gripping the edge of the table tightly.

The only thing Taehyung remembered from that night, was watching Namjoon crumpling down to the floor, the phone laying heavily in his hands as his arm fell weightlessly to his sides. He remembered Namjoon’s emotionless eyes staring into his, telling him the one thing he’d never thought he’d hear.

“He’s dead. J-Jimin. He’s dead.”

-

It was the perfect day, the snow crunching beneath his heavy steps and the snowflakes drifting above his head. Jimin had finally pulled himself out of bed, and out of the house. “It has to be today.” He muttered to himself.

He felt peaceful, walking down the cold empty pavement, the usually busy and loud neighbourhood now calm and quiet. Families preparing for the winter, sitting by their fireplace and enjoying each other’s company. He had been waiting for this perfect day.

It was only till late at night, where he found himself wandering the platforms of the train station near the town. He knew, it had to be today.

The images of Taehyung’s bright smile danced at the back of his mind, and velvety voice of his sang in his ears. He missed them so much. Taehyung had kept him going all these years, but he knew. He was a burden. At least he thought himself to be one. He’d never had the heart to make Taehyung bear the pain he felt for the past few months, he knew Taehyung would be happier without him. And so he thought.

Jimin stepped off the platform, his footsteps tracing the railway as he waited. The moon hung brightly in the sky, the stars blinking like eyes watching a lost sheep in the wilderness. Jimin smiled to himself, it had to be today. Kneeling down next to the cold, rusted metal, Jimin placed his hands on the rails. The cold prickled at his stubby fingers, but he couldn’t care less. “It’s a nice feeling, I think.” He thought to himself, before bending down further to place his head on his hands. “Yeah, it is a nice feeling.” He muttered.

The rumbling of the train were all too familiar, the pumping of its engine and screeching of its wheels perfectly orchestrated. Jimin turned his head slightly, a subtle smile placed on the corners of his lips, as he closed his eyes.

“No, Kim Taehyung. I love you more.”

a/n: Sorry not sorry. huehue love you guys :)

[lostinfic]

What’s left of Hardy

Trope: Hurt/comfort

Rating: general audiences

Word count: ~1900

Summary: Hannah always calls Hardy on New Year’s Day, but this year she thought he could use more than a call.

Tumblr masterpost | AO3 | 12 Tropes AO3 Collection

Set between S1 and S2 of Broadchurch

Hardy glanced at his phone for what felt like the tenth time in the last minute. He shook his head at his own foolishness and threw the mobile to the other end of the couch. Last he had heard, Hannah had a new book and a new boyfriend. Calling him would only depress her, why would she bother? But she always called, every year, on New Year’s Day. Usually she was the one who needed to talk to him, not the other way around.

Hardy sighed and returned his attention to some holiday special with Jimmy Carr— but why always Jimmy Carr?

He didn’t understand any of the jokes about politics, he was too out of touch with the world outside of his work. These tragedies he could do something about, albeit not as much as he wished.

Stretching across the sofa, he reached for his phone again.

I could give ring her.

Chasing the thought away, Hardy stood up and crossed the room to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Calling her, now that was a recipe for disaster. He cringed, remembering the last time he’d talked to her: he’d only just found out about Tess’s infidelity and, between his anger and desire to remain levelheaded, he’d been incoherent at best.

No wonder she hadn’t called him this year.

The kettle’s whistle pulled him out of his embarrassing recollection. Mug in hand, he returned to the living room where his eyes wandered to the locked drawer containing his Sandbrook case files. He could visit Claire, perhaps the holiday spirit would make her confess.

Hardy changed out of his t-shirt and sweatpants then remembered Claire had left Broadchurch to visit her family in Wales. He’d argued against that decision; Lee Ashworth would know where to find her. But in the end, he couldn’t keep her from her family. Probably for the best. No doubt she would have seen through his poor excuse and detected his loneliness.

A silhouette passed behind the bedroom curtains, and his stomach twisted in a knot of fear.

Lee Ashworth?

Hardy rushed out of the bedroom just as someone knocked on the door. He took a careful peek between the venetian blinds. What he saw made his heart beat faster: blond curls and a yellow coat; sunshine incarnate on the longest night of the year.

“What are you doing here?”

“Happy New Year to you too.” Hannah pecked his lips. “I thought you could use more than a phone call this year.”

She thrusted a paper bag in his arms, its content clinked.

“Alcohol?”

“Where are your glasses?” she asked, making her way to the kitchen. “Christ. What kind of shabby place is this?”

“Did you come all the way here to insult my home?”

“Amongst other things.”

She smirked and kissed his cheek. He pretended to be annoyed.

Hannah pulled a champagne bottle out of the paper bag, but there was something else in there: a book. Her book to be precise, entitled “New Experiences” with a strip of lace and manacles pictured on the cover. He’d have to hide it, he could only imagine Ellie’s reaction if she discovered an erotic novel in his house— if she ever came back from Devon that is.

“It’s a gift,” she explained as she popped opened the bottle.

“Classy.”

Inside the cover, he found a dedication: “May the new year bring you some ’new experiences’ of your own. Love, Hannah.”

“God’s sake, Han.”

“What? It’s true, you’re in your forties and recently divorced, it’s the best time to have a midlife crisis and get kinky with the secretary. Please tell me you shagged someone at the office party.”

He rolled his eyes. “Insults, champagne and erotica.”

“And my charming personality, of course.”

“Of course.”

She clinked her glass to his, and they took a sip, holding each other’s gaze.

“What happened to, erm…”

“Jeremy? Yeah, he dumped me before Christmas.”

“Bugger him.”

She shrugged and pulled the cowl neck of her tunic to her cheek. “He’s not that bad, just still in love with his ex. He’s a copper, did I tell you?” She smiled wistfully. “Guess I have a type.”

Hardy choked on his champagne. A type? What did that mean? Before he could ask, she’d moved to the living room.

“God is that Jimmy Carr again?”

They settled on the couch and she took control of the remote, flipping through channels. He sat ramrod straight, staring at her. She glanced his way, and he quickly turned to the television.

Now that the shock of her arrival had worn off, he wondered why she had come here. This year of all years. He mentally braced himself. Raising an inner shield against all the feelings rising to the surface in her presence.

She turned sideways to face him. “So, how was your year?”

“No. I’m not doing that.”

“Why not?”

“This year was shite and you know it.”

She brought her feet up on the couch and encircled her knees. With a frown, she glanced at his untouched glass of champagne. She pressed her lips in a compassionate smile. When she looked at him, he thought of that machine coroners use to reveal subdermal bruising. She could see right through him, she always could. She detected the pain he was trying to hide. Emotions swelled in him. He hated it. He didn’t want to connect with that miserable part of him: the heartache and hopelessness. The nightmares were bad enough. It was all better left buried, somewhere under his ribcage, smothering his heart.

“You alright?” she asked.

“Yep. Fine. You?”

“You’re not fine.”

“I told you: I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not? You need to.”

He glared at her. “I’m not one of those-- those pathetic men who pay 300 quid to cry in your arms for an hour.”

“You just had to bring my job into that.” She crossed her arms.

He didn’t reply, just stared away.  He could feel the dizziness coming, a spell of lightheadedness that he tried to breathe away.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Hannah taunted him.

Arguments were not exactly a rare occurrence between them. They usually lasted longer. They enjoyed it in a way, it was familiar, and once the anger was out of the way, they could get to real feelings. His refusal to engage spoke volumes.

They watched the rest of the show in silence. Her fidgeting betrayed her discomfort. Neither of them laughed at any of the jokes.  As the credits rolled, she announced her departure. His attempts to hold her back were lackluster.

She sniffed as she put on her coat, but refused to meet his eyes when he spoke her name.

It took him an hour to get off his high horse and admit what a knob he’d been. It took another hour to work up the courage to call her and apologize. And she made him work for it.

“Alright then, come to the Trader’s.”

“What?”

She’d been too upset to endure a two-hour train journey and had checked in at the hotel instead.

“Besides I knew you would call and beg for forgiveness.”

Her words reeked of smugness, but he recognized hope in them too. She’d stayed in Broadchurch. She’d hoped.  And if he was being honest, as grumpy as his agreement to meet her may have sounded, there was hope in him too.

Hardy walked out in the cold to the hotel and ignored Becca’s quizzical gaze. He headed straight to Hannah’s room.

It looked the same as the one he’d rented for too long, but flipped. Hannah sitting on the bed, reminded him of how much he’d wished for her presence this year. And now she was here, sitting on the bed.

“You alright?” he asked her.

“Yeah. Fine… I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.”

She chuckled and there was a hint of nervousness to it. She picked at the hole in her jeans. He sat down beside her, elbows on knees. He had to ask.

“Why did you come here?”

“I always call you on New Year’s eve.”

“Yeah-- call.”

“But there’s always, you know, Tess or Daisy. This year you were alone.”

“I’m not lonely.”

“No, I didn’t mean like that… I meant, you’re alone so we can be alone.”

“Alone together.”

“Yeah.”

He searched her face, trying to decipher her meaning before his heart got carried away.

“What? Don’t look so shocked. It’s been ages since we hung out.”

“Right.”

“And I worried about you.”

“Han…” he warned.

“I know, I know. I’m not asking. It’s just, I thought you would call again. You called me after Tess… Then I saw you on the news. That poor boy. I thought you’d call again.”

“Did you want me to?”

“I guess I’d hoped… with the divorce-- I don’t know.”

And there was that voice of hers, faint, childish almost. A reminder that her confidence was just as much a façade for her as it was for him.

He’d never let himself think about her that way. Not when he was a father and a husband. But now… he swallowed thickly. His fingers itched to reach for her. Could he? Just for one night. To have her against him. Her warmth, he perfume, her laughter. His heart ached for it, but he didn’t trust himself. The walls he’d built around his heart were no match to the strength of her smile, and once they crumbled who knew what would pour out. Nothing good would come out of that. Not in the long term that is, short term, well, she would be in his arms and if that wasn’t the very definition of good, he didn’t know what was.

“It’s so hard to tell how you’re doing.” She shifted to her knees, closer to him. Her eyes scanned his face, and he jutted his chin out, clenching his jaw in a stoic mask. The look in her eyes softened. She reached for his cheek but he shrank away. She dropped her hand to his chest. Under her touch, it filled with a sharp breath. She cocked her head with a sympathetic smile.

“Han don’t—”

“I like the scruff.”

“You don’t.”

“I do. It’s very rawr, you know.”

He chuckled and it released some tension from his shoulders. When she touched his cheek, he didn’t wince. His beard bristled under her thumb. He fought the feeling, he really did, but still his eyes fluttered shut.

“Alec…”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

He opened his eyes, surprised she’d dropped the subject so easily.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I think… to tell you the truth I think I’m the one who’s not well.” A twinkle in her eyes betrayed her strategy. “Can I get a cuddle? It’s for me, not for you, I swear.”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sing-sang, wrapping her arms around his waist.

His hand hovered behind her head, and with a sigh, he relented and caressed her hair.

“It’s not a cuddle unless both your arms are around me,” she remarked.

“You’re a lot of work, you know that.” He hugged her-- with both arms. “Thank you.”

He rested his cheek on top of her head, making sure she wouldn’t see him tearing up.

[tosybelle-blog]

The Boys of Summer, Chapters XXVI-XXX

No one could ever know me No one could ever see me Seems you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me The Rembrandts, I’ll Be There for You

Haley

I rarely get phone calls, but when I do, they’re usually from one of two people. Both of them were working on Tuesday, so when the phone rang during the middle of the day while I was home alone, I assumed that it was a telemarketer.

The caller ID showed a very familiar phone number and for a moment I thought maybe Jordan or By had decided to skip work. (It was Jordan’s last day at the Rosebud, and maybe they’d decided they didn’t need him after all.) But it was another Pike wanting my attention.

“Hey, Haley,” Vanessa started, as if she called me all the time. Sure, we’d hung out a few times over the summer, but it wasn’t like it had been back when we were ‘besties’ and spoke at least once a day.

So naturally I was a little suspicious that she was calling. “What do you want, Vanessa?” I asked.

She paused and then sounded put out. “Why do you think I want something?” she asked.

“What do you want, Vanessa?”

The pause was even longer this time. “I was hoping you’d like to go to the mall with me,” she said in a small voice.

I relaxed a little bit. I didn’t have any plans for the afternoon or evening, so why not? I knew Vanessa must have asked me to come along so I could give her a ride, but did her original motivations really matter? She wanted to spend some time with me and I could really use the distraction. “I guess so,” I said after a pause of my own. I know I didn’t sound enthusiastic and she must have picked up on that right away. It wasn’t really Vanessa’s fault; I was just feeling sort of down in the dumps.

We hashed out a few details. She was in charge of the laundry for the week and she had two more loads to finish, so we planned to leave in an hour, shortly after she put the last load in the dryer. We hung up and I went back to what I’d been doing before she called: brooding. I’m not a world champion at it the way By is, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t while away entire afternoons thinking about everything that’s wrong with my existence.

Jordan kept trying to assure me that everything was okay between us, but I just didn’t believe him. It wasn’t that I thought he couldn’t get past me shoving him away from me while sobbing. It was more that I was afraid that if I kept shoving him away, he’d get tired of it and stop coming back. Especially since he was leaving so soon. He’d be off at school in less than a week and there would be so many other things and people to get his attention.

I was listening to Vanessa’s CD of depressing music on my stereo and lying on my stomach on my floor when the phone rang again. I rolled my eyes and slowly made my way off the floor, working under the assumption that Vanessa had changed her mind or wanted something else from me. But I didn’t recognize the phone number, other than the fact that it was local. I picked up the phone. “Hello?” I said tentatively.

“Haley? It’s Jeff.” He sounded upbeat and happy. I couldn’t help but wonder what had gotten into him. “Can you help me out? I need to get out of the house. My sister is driving me fucking nuts.”

I didn’t even know his sister was in town. I sighed. “I just agreed to go to the mall with Vanessa,” I told him, disappointed. I’d been hoping to nab an afternoon alone with Jeff all summer long, but it had never worked out the way I’d wanted.

“Oh,” he said, trying not to let his own disappointment show. Despite the pep to his demeanor, he didn’t sound too thrilled with the prospect of spending the whole afternoon with his sister. I’d liked Jeff’s sister back when I’d really known her, but I couldn’t think of the last time I’d seen her. Maybe something had changed.

I was torn. I couldn’t go back on my word to Vanessa—we might not be the kind of friends we were when we were thirteen, but we were friends. But at the same time, I was also friends with Jeff, and he needed me for something that sounded more important than just my car. “Do you want to come with us?” I asked. “Vanessa can’t really complain because we’re taking my car. I’d love to go shopping with you again.”

This time, Jeff paused. “Are you sure Vanessa won’t mind?” he asked hesitantly.

I honestly didn’t care if she did. “It’s my car, so I get to pick the guest list,” I said, not really answering his question.

He did sound marginally happier. “Great. What time are you guys leaving?”

“In about forty-five minutes, but you can come over any time you want.”

Jeff came over about five minutes later. I wasn’t sure what the rules were with him. Jordan’s not allowed anywhere on the second story except the bathroom, while By can go just about anywhere he pleases. I decided that my mom would be closer to that with Jeff. No one was home and we’d be gone before they came home, but I figured that we’d be okay in my bedroom, especially if we left the door open. It’s not like I had any plans to make out with Jeff, after all. Can you imagine the kind of drama that would lead to? Really not my style.

He dropped his sandals by the door and the two of us thundered up the stairs. I had thrown my six bed pillows all over the floor, so I sat down on them, expecting Jeff to take the only chair. Instead, he plopped down right next to me, taking a look around as he did. “Cool room,” he said, taking everything in. “It’s very…”

“White,” I finished. I couldn’t exactly explain why I had redecorated my room so monochromatically, but I’d found that I liked it when it was finished.

He leaned over and inspected my scribble wall, or as By likes to call it, ‘The Wall of Schlock and Schmaltz’. “I especially love this,” Jeff added.

I smiled half-heartedly. “Some days, those words are the only thing keeping me sane,” I admitted.

Jeff grinned briefly. “I feel the same way about my meds,” he said. I looked over at him, wondering what medication he was talking about. He must have read my mind. “I’m taking lithium for bipolar disorder,” he said seriously. “It’s why I’m so up and down all the time.”

I nodded at him, wondering what my problem was. “You can write on it if you have any words of wisdom,” I told him. “There are markers on my desk.

Jeff hopped back up and grabbed a Sharpie. He inspected every word written on the wall before he found a blank spot up out of my reach—and probably By’s as well. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t already have this one,” he commented before he began writing. In typical male chicken scratch he scrawled, ‘The journey of a million miles starts with one step.’

I stretched out on my stomach as he joined me back on the floor. Vanessa’s CD was still playing. “What are you listening to?” he asked.

I wrinkled my nose. “I have no idea,” I admitted, “but before you called, I was getting ready for a good cry. I can change it, if you’d like.”

He shook his head. “Nope. Your house, your choice. But I do have to wonder what is bugging you so badly that you feel like listening to shitty, depressing music and sobbing your heart out.”

I didn’t answer him directly. Instead, I glanced over at my dresser where, among the general life clutter, was a single framed photo. Jeff followed my gaze, never moving from his pillow perch. The photo was of Jordan and me in Maine. I was standing on a bench behind him, leaning against his back, my arms wrapped around his neck. He’s turned away from the camera—looking over his shoulder at me. “Oh, I see,” he said gently, “He’s leaving for school this weekend, isn’t he?” I looked away and bit my lip. Jeff watched me for a moment and then shook his head. “I’m sorry I brought it up.” He furrowed his brow.

I shook my head back at him. “You didn’t bring it up,” I replied, stretching out flat with my head sideways on one of the pillows. “I haven’t been able to think about much else for the last few days.”

“Believe me, sister,” Jeff said, “if anyone understands what you’re going through, it’s me.” He rolled onto his own stomach so we were side by side. “You feel like he’s running off to start something interesting and fun without you, and you’re left behind in the dust, hoping he doesn’t forget you.”

He did understand; I could see that. And I knew why. Jeff was headed back home to live with his dad soon, same as he’d been doing his whole life. He wasn’t moving hours away from home to live in a dorm with a bunch of strangers, like Jordan and By and Adam were. I nodded at him and he smiled. “Aw, Hay, I get it. I really do. You’re going to have to go months without seeing him. I’m in the same boat with By. But I really have faith in my relationship and I’m certain it can go the distance.” He paused and made a face. “Inadvertent pun. Sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. If I’d been in a better mood, I probably would have laughed. Instead I fought back tears a bit. He looked at me and I knew he could see it. We sat quietly for a minute before he spoke again. “So what’s this I hear about Jordan still being a virgin?” he asked. I rolled over onto my side to get a better view of him and he grinned at me in a way that told me he was just trying to lighten the mood. “You two are the king and queen of PDA. I’m surprised you’ve managed to go four whole months without sealing the deal.”

I wasn’t sure if he didn’t know the truth about me or if he just decided it would be cute to pretend. I decided to go with the latter. “I’m a tease,” I told him. “I’ll give him a taste, and that’s it.”

Jeff laughed heartily. “I should have been that way back when I was dating girls,” he said wryly as he rolled onto his back.

I sat up. “Not with By, though, huh?”

He closed his eyes and grinned. “No, not with Byron so much. I’m in no hurry to go farther with sex with him, but that’s not being a tease. It’s savoring things. D’ya know what I mean? Enjoying everything to its fullest while it’s new and special, knowing we have time in the future to go to that next step without feeling like we have to rush into it now.”

I wanted to feel that healthy and mature about sex. Instead, I was constantly of two minds about it. I definitely had hormones and they were definitely raging. My heart said to go further and do whatever comes next. But my head held me back. It said, ‘Stop now, because you’re only going to get hurt.’ “I wish I felt that way,” I commented idly.

Jeff opened his eyes again. “Which part don’t you agree with?” he asked.

I thought about that. “I don’t have a problem with enjoying things,” I said and he gave a half smile. “It’s more the time thing. I don’t know how long I have before I fuck things up and everything falls apart.”

He crossed his legs in front of him, still lying on his back. “What makes you think you’ll screw something up?”

“I may have already,” I muttered. He gave me a look. “Never mind. It’s really complicated.”

Jeff shrugged. “I have the time. Why don’t you try me?”

I closed my eyes briefly before I replied. “My mom has a motto,” I said after a moment. “Expect the best, but prepare for the worst.” Jeff nodded. I know he remembered my giant Mom-purse from Maine. “It’s always worked pretty well for me. But she never prepared me for the absolute worst thing that ever happened to me, and it’s not something I know how to deal with now that I’m reliving it on a daily basis. I just think that Jordan’s going to get tired of waiting for me if I don’t get over it.”

He pursed his lips for a moment. “I’m not going to even try to pretend to understand what you’re going through on that end,” he said finally, “but I’ll tell you what I do know. There’s a serious downside to always being prepared for the worst.” He had my full attention now. I leaned over toward him. “Sometimes, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You spend enough time thinking you’re going to ruin your relationship that you actually do.”

I wrinkled my brow but didn’t say anything. Instead I flopped back face down on the pillows. We were quiet for a moment before Jeff spoke again. “Hey, Haley, remember that time we were stranded on an island with my sister?”

I pulled my face off the pillow. “How could I ever forget that?” I replied, smiling for the first time pretty much all day. “Why do you think my mom is the way that she is?” He tilted his head to one side, looking glorious in the fact that he’d actually made me smile. “When we were missing, she thought she’d never see me again. Ever since then, she’s done everything she can to prevent hurting like that again.”

We were a lot less deep after that. We talked about television and music and he told me about some of his friends back in California. And then, just about five minutes before she said she’d arrive, Vanessa popped up on my doorstep. Because she’s Vanessa and not your average human, she didn’t knock or ring the doorbell—she threw pebbles at my window. I knew exactly what that meant because she’s done it before. I pulled myself off the floor and threw my pillows back onto my bed. Jeff stood as well, looking confused. I leaned on the window sill. “Hold your water!” I shouted at Vanessa. She grinned back at me and plopped down in the grass where she stood. She was wearing a short plaid skirt and a black shirt with her Doc Martens and she’d pulled her hair into two pigtails. Her makeup these days is bright and colorful—she was wearing hot pink sparkly eye shadow. She looked absolutely ridiculous, but I knew that was the point.

I turned to Jeff, who’d gathered up the pillows he’d been sitting on. “Vanessa’s here,” I announced.

We were out the front door in just a moment. Vanessa looked over at the two of us together. Her face clouded over for a moment, but then she just shook her head. “Oh, goody,” she said sarcastically, “It’s two thirds of the Pike triplet fan club! What did I do to deserve the honor of this company?”

I was not in the mood for her unique brand of humor. “You don’t have to go with us, if you’re that unenthusiastic about our ‘company,’” I said warningly.

She looked over at Jeff, who was playing with his sandal and pretending he wasn’t listening to the conversation. The look on her face plainly said she was surprised Jeff was coming along on our mall trip, but she smartly didn’t say a word. Jeff looked up from his shoe and, realizing we were past the moment, tried to break the tension. “So, Vanessa, what takes us to the mall today?”

She turned a little bit pink. All the Pikes are really fair skinned and blush unbelievably easily. “Nothing special,” she said as I locked the front door. That kind of response said that she had something specific in mind, but she wasn’t going to bring it up until she had us trapped in it with no escape route in sight. She and Jeff followed me to the car.

Jeff was reading Vanessa’s mood properly, so he didn’t even attempt to get into the front seat of the car. He got in behind the driver’s side and let Vanessa climb up in front with me. We turned out on to Burnt Hill, Vanessa still stewing and me concentrating on driving. Jeff leaned forward between the seats; he hadn’t belted up yet. “Didn’t Byron tell me that your parents used to not let you drive your car?” he asked me. “When did that change?”

I laughed. “When everyone made it back from spring break in one piece. They were impressed that I’d driven around that much and no one died.”

Vanessa was looking over her fingernails, which matched her eye shadow. “You really didn’t drive that much,” she said. “You let the boys do all the highway driving.”

I’d hoped no one had noticed that. I’d never driven on the interstate before and I hadn’t been eager to try it for the first time with a car full of my friends and quasi friends. I’d gone on my own and tried it out a few weeks after we’d gotten back and found that it wasn’t that bad. “Well, my parents didn’t need to know that part,” I said lightly.

We were relatively quiet for a moment before Vanessa looked up from her hands. “What the hell are we listening to?” she asked.

“I have no idea,” I replied. Jeff caught my eye in the rear view and he grinned. He’d caught the echo also. “Jordan made me a mix CD. He’s trying to get me into classic rock.”

That got Vanessa’s attention. “Jordan likes classic rock?” she asked, bewildered. “I only ever hear metal coming out of his bedroom,” she added.

“That would be Adam,” I said. “I get the feeling Jordan usually uses head phones when he plays music.” Vanessa wrinkled up her nose and mouth, although I wasn’t sure why. Was she upset that I knew something about her brothers that she didn’t? “Jordan likes all kinds of music. His tastes are very…eclectic.” I turned the CD up a little bit. “My tolerance for this old stuff is growing. I can’t say I like most of it, but I can actually listen to more than thirty seconds of most of the songs before I change them. And there are a few that I actually will admit aren’t bad.”

Jeff was still leaning between the seats. “Oh, yeah?” he asked. “Like what?”

I gave my most evil grin and flipped through the CD until I found exactly what I was looking for. A short time into the song, Jeff laughed and sat back, finally putting on his seatbelt. Vanessa gave him a look. “What’s so funny?” she growled.

“Oh, you’ll see,” Jeff replied. Vanessa did not look any happier. She glared at me suspiciously.

“I think Jordan put this one on here first to get my attention because he knows I can’t resist shit like this,” I said with a smirk.

She listened intently for a little while, trying to figure out what Jeff and I thought was so hilarious. The song was long and it took longer than I’d anticipated for Vanessa to recognize it. “Noooo!” she shrieked. “Haley! You actually like this garbage?” she asked, her tongue hanging out of her mouth like the music had left a bad taste behind.

I looked at her innocently. “You mean you don’t like Bohemian Rhapsody?” I asked as I flicked my eyes back to the road.

“You’re not going to get me to head bang,” was her only reply, but it was pretty much a lie. When that part of the song came on, she ended up bobbing her head as much as Jeff and I did.

When the song ended, I turned the radio off. “For the ride home, I have Stairway to Heaven,” I teased. Both of them shuddered.

We pulled into the Washington Mall parking lot and I started looking for a parking spot. There were plenty of spots, but I always like to park under one of the lane markers so I can remember where I left my car. As I was cruising up and down the aisles, Jeff plastered his face to the window. “Isn’t that the Helen-mobile?” he asked.

I looked the same direction, and sure enough, there was Helen’s convertible. She has a custom license plate with her last name spelled phonetically on it, so there was no mistaking it. “If we see her, I’m going to duck into a store and hide,” I sighed.

“Who is Helen,” Vanessa asked, “and why do you have to hide from her?”

I grimaced and Jeff turned to Vanessa. “She’s Byron’s manager and she’s got a major hate on for Hay,” he told her.

Vanessa frowned and turned to me as I finally parked the car. “I originally interviewed to work behind customer service with her,” I said, “but when they offered me a job, it was in towels with a different manager. I don’t know if Helen just decided she didn’t like me or if the bath manager Jeri poached me. Then when they were short a bridal consultant, Helen recommended someone and Jeri recommended me. I got chosen.”

She looked confused. “So?”

I wrinkled my nose. “Helen holds grudges. I think there’s a lot more to it than those two things. I heard a rumor that Helen wanted to switch over and be in charge of the bridal and china department, but they promoted someone over her head instead. She’s been super- critical of me ever since I got sent to the bridal department. I got my three month job review yesterday and I was rated ‘exceeds expectations’ in nearly every category. Yet Helen tells me off every time we work together for something stupid. She basically told me I was incompetent the other day.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, because you can really control having an allergic reaction,” he commented with a chuckle.

Vanessa made a face. “I had a reaction to the chemicals they use to clean the toilets. My throat started to close up. It would have been cool if it wasn’t so life threatening,” I told her.

She shook her head as we reached the mall door. “Clearly,” she said dryly, “you and I have different definitions of cool.”

We’d barely made it inside the door when Jeff decided he needed to use the bathroom. Vanessa apparently has a map of the mall inside her head, because she knew exactly where the closest men’s room was. Jeff popped inside and I leaned against the wall a short ways away. Vanessa folded her arms in front of herself and glared. “What?!” I asked, as if I didn’t know the answer.

She didn’t answer directly. Instead she looked up to the second story balcony and watched some shoppers for a moment. She was trying to up my irritation level and she was succeeding. “Maybe,” she said finally, still not looking at me, “if I start calling you ‘Hay’ I can actually get some of your time.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” I asked.

Vanessa met my gaze. “I was hoping to spend some time alone with you,” she said crossly. “You and I used to be so close. And then we had a stupid fight over nothing and you stopped being friends with everyone except my idiot brother. I thought after spring break we’d be able to hang out together more, but you’re always with one of my brothers. I knew they were both busy today so I was sure you’d be free. But you had to go and bring Jeff along with us.”

I knew it was killing her to admit that out loud and that melted my iciness a little. “I’m sorry it’s not what you were expecting,” I said, still annoyed a bit, “but Jordan is leaving this weekend. And then both By and Jeff are leaving within the next two weeks after that. I want to spend as much time as possible with them before they go.” Vanessa was sulking. “I’ll have just oodles and bunches of time free when school starts. I’d be glad to spend some time with you, just the two of us, after that happens.”

“Great,” she said, “I’m the honorable mention. I’m what you get when everything else was taken.” Vanessa sighed. “I remember a time when you were mine and I didn’t have to share you with my brothers.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a toy, you know,” I said as Jeff came out of the restroom. “I don’t belong to anyone. I get to decide how to spend my time.”

Jeff watched warily as Vanessa shook her head in disbelief. “Oh yeah? Like you wouldn’t run back home right now if Jordan called and said he needed you.”

She was right about that. “Yes,” I said after a moment’s pause, “but that would be my decision. I love Jordan and I would drop everything for him if it came down to that.”

Vanessa looked surprised and she opened her mouth to speak, but Jeff interrupted. “Sorry I took so long,” he said, putting one arm loosely around my shoulder and looking at Vanessa with his head cocked to one side. “Where do you want to go first, Vanessa?”

She gave him a look that said she didn’t appreciate him breaking up our disagreement, but she just shook her head. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I really just wanted to do some boy scoping.”

I groaned and Jeff turned to me pleadingly—I think he thought I was about to start the argument again. “Have you heard about Vanessa’s mystery man?” I asked. He shook his head. “She’s spent the past two months trying to identify this guy she met when she got her driver’s license. I actually spent a couple hours wandering downtown Stoneybrook with her a couple weeks ago, hoping to find him.”

Jeff was intrigued. “Ooh, that sounds interesting,” he said. Vanessa perked up just a little.

“The only problem is,” I continued, “we have absolutely no idea who this guy is or where he lives or anything of the sort. All she’s got is a vague description.”

Vanessa grimaced. “I’ll recognize him if I see him again,” she defended herself.

“Describe him,” Jeff insisted.

“Tall—a couple inches taller than you, I’d say,” she said. “Olive skinned, brown eyes and hair. Really cute.”

“See the trouble?” I said to Jeff. “He could be a lot of guys by that description.” I looked around and began pointing. “He could be that guy…or that one…or that one.”

“Wait a minute,” Vanessa said, looking surprisingly happy. “That’s him!”

Jeff looked off in the general direction I’d been pointing. “Which one?” he asked.

“The second one,” she said, standing on tip-toe and staring off into the distance. She’s a good four inches taller than I am and I had already lost track of the guy in question. He’d been with another shorter young man, both of them carrying skateboards. “Oh my goddess!” she said, getting a little panicky, “That’s definitely him!”

“Well then,” Jeff said, moving in the direction which the boy had been walking, “let’s do what we came for and follow him!”

Vanessa quickly followed Jeff and I had to break into a trot to keep up. “What exactly are you going to do once you catch up to him?” I asked. “Say, ‘Hi, remember me? I’ve been thinking about you for weeks. What’s your name?’” Vanessa shrugged but she looked a little irritated. Instead of responding, she sped up.

In a moment we were right behind them. “Recognizance time,” Jeff whispered, standing between me and Vanessa. He slowed down so that we were close enough to hear what the boys were saying, but not so close we were obviously following them.

The shorter boy was talking about his sister’s birthday, which was apparently coming up soon. “What do you get a ten year old?” he asked with a shrug.

Vanessa’s boy was idly spinning one of the wheels on his skateboard. “I had the same problem when my sister turned ten,” he said. “It’s too old for Barbies and shit, but too young for makeup and the kind of stuff my other sister is into.” He thought about it for a moment as the five of us walked past a toy store. “Bill,” he said to his friend, “Look at that!”

From my angle I couldn’t see what he was pointing at, but whatever it was, it got Bill got all excited. “It’s perfect!” he exclaimed. “You’re a genius, P!”

Jeff looked at Vanessa and raised his eyebrows. “P,” he mouthed at her. She made a face, not catching it, so I signed the letter P and she nodded.

Meanwhile, the two boys had gone inside the toy store. A moment later, they both returned without the toy. An employee was with them. “You’ll have to leave the skateboards outside,” she told them.

The two of them made faces and turned toward each other. Jeff, Vanessa and I had stepped back toward the fountain, pretending to be fascinated by it while watching everything out of the corner of our eyes. I really got a look at the two of them for the first time that way. Vanessa was right; the boy she’d been hunting for was pretty cute. P sighed. “I can stay here with both boards,” he said.

“Naw,” Bill replied, “I wanted you to take a look at the video games with me, remember? Just put them down. No one will bother them.” P nodded and set his board leaning against the side of the store. Bill put his right next to it and they went back inside.

Quick as a flash, Vanessa zoomed over to the boards and picked one up. “Vanessa,” I hissed from a distance, “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at the boards,” she said. “Maybe his has his name or number on it somewhere.” She picked up first one board and then the other. “Damn!” she exclaimed, “I can’t remember which is which.”

I looked at the one in her hand. “That’s the other guy’s,” I said. She gave me a questioning glance. “It says Bill right here. That’s what your mystery P called his friend.” All I could think at that moment was that either Vanessa was a really lousy detective or she had been too busy drooling over P to pay much attention to what he was saying.

“Right,” Vanessa put the board down and picked up the other skateboard again. She groaned. “It doesn’t have any identifying marks on it. I’ll never figure out who he is!” Frustrated, she practically tossed the board back down.

“No…” Jeff began. He’d stayed a few steps back from where Vanessa and I were standing in the doorway to the toy store. “But I know a good way to find out if he remembers you or not.” Vanessa raised her eyebrows. “He’s paying right now. Quick, grab his skateboard again.” She picked it back up. “Now, on my call, run with it.”

I was aghast. “What?!” I said, not sure I was believing my ears. Jeff shushed me and I backed away from the two of them, hurt and confused.

P and Bill came back out of the toy store. “Hey,” he said as he saw Vanessa standing there with his skateboard. A look of recognition crossed his eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked, amazed.

“Now!” Jeff shouted and the two of them took off running. A moment later, realizing that me standing there gawking was not going to help, I followed. They’re both taller than I am, with longer legs, and they could have outrun me if they’d chosen, but they didn’t. I caught up pretty quickly. I suddenly realized they were hoping that the two boys would catch us.

Instead, P just stood there, looking surprised. Bill leaned against the toy store window, holding his own skateboard, and laughed. “Vanessa Pike!” P bellowed down the hall, causing everyone in hearing distance to turn and look at him. “I’ll get you back for this!” he shouted.

We sped a ways down the mall before we ducked into the food court. “Do you two realize,” I said seriously as we plopped down at a table, “that you just stole that guy’s skateboard?”

“Ahh, but more than that,” Jeff said, starting to laugh, “we discovered something very important.” I gave him a ‘do go on’ gesture. “Not only does he remember who Vanessa is,” Jeff continued between chuckles, “he likes her.”

“What makes you so sure of that?”

Jeff stopped laughing, although he was still grinning. “Haley,” he said to me, “when did you figure out that Jordan had a thing for you?”

I frowned at him. “Why?” I asked. He didn’t answer; instead he sat there, waiting for me to answer him. Finally I sighed. “When he came to apologize for his behavior during the trip. He said he was sorry for the way he’d been acting toward By and then promised I’d never hear him behave like that again.” I took a breath. “And then he said that he’d do anything else I wanted to make sure I forgave him. I suddenly realized that he’d been acting like an ass during the whole car ride from Camden to Ogunquit because I’d yelled at him and basically threatened to punch him again.”

“And you realized that upset him because he had feelings for you,” Jeff added. I nodded. “I have to ask, did you kiss him, or did he kiss you?”

I flushed. “I kissed him.” I honestly don’t think it would have gone well if he’d tried to kiss me. I probably would have broken his nose that time. I still don’t take surprise kisses very well, even after months of making out with him.

Vanessa rolled her pink-lidded eyes. “This is all very touching,” she said, oozing sarcasm, “but can we get back to me here?”

“Yes, Vanessa,” Jeff said, matching her sarcasm, “this will roll back to you here in a second. I knew that Jordan liked you pretty early on, but I had it confirmed the night before you two hooked up. He kept sliding you into the conversation when we went out for a walk. He was really concerned with how he looked in your eyes. I finally just said to him, ‘So how long have you been in love with Haley?’ and he answered without even thinking about it, and then he looked embarrassed.” He chuckled and I smiled, thinking about how Jordan didn’t say anything before that night because he thought I was dating his brother.

“What I’m saying here is that straight guys all kinda work in just a couple different ways. A lot of them, including Jordan, want to look good to the girl they like and protect her from stuff.” Jeff dug into his pants pocket and inspected the money he pulled out. “I see a little bit of this in that P guy. I know he remembers Vanessa because he said her name. I also know he likes her because he totally could have threatened to call mall security and have her arrested for theft. But that would make him look bad in Vanessa’s eyes. Plus, his friend totally knew who she was and that P wouldn’t chase after her.” He paused for a moment. “Of course, he seems to be more of another type of guy…the one who’s going to pretend he doesn’t care and be standoffish so the girl comes running to him. This guy’s an interesting blend of character traits, Vanessa.”

She grinned and set the skateboard down on the table. “I’m famished,” she said, draping herself across several chairs.

Jeff handed her a twenty dollar bill. “Then go get yourself a smoothie. Get one for Haley, too, my treat.” We straightened out what was being ordered and she walked off. Jeff looked at me as I started playing with the wheels on the skateboard. “You okay?” he asked me. I gave him a look, not sure why he was asking. “You didn’t seem real thrilled with my plan to get P’s attention back there, and even though I got you smiling when I was talking about Jordan, you’re back to overly serious again. It doesn’t really suit you, just so you know.”

I sighed. “How did you become such an expert in mine and Jordan’s relationship?” I asked.

He stretched and put his feet on Vanessa’s vacated chair. “I’m not an expert,” he said, “I was just an outsider with a fresh perspective, that’s all.”

“Well, I feel the need to point something out to you,” I said, putting my head on one shoulder. It was the only way I could see his face while he was seated like that. “Wanna know how quickly I figured out that By liked you? About ten seconds after you showed up on that Sunday morning. And know how quickly I figured out you liked him? A couple hours into the car ride—right after the two of you started talking. It was like something clicked into place for you. You became instantly happier.”

Jeff laughed. “You’ve got me beat then, because I never would have guessed that you were the one to kiss Jordan. I knew he liked you, but I didn’t know you liked him.” I shrugged at him. I hadn’t really known that myself until I’d been in the moment. “As for me and By, you know what ‘clicked into place?’ I asked him how long you two had been dating and he told me you weren’t. It was the second piece of how I figured out he was gay, and even though I was sitting there going, ‘I’m straight—I can’t be attracted to him,’ it made me so happy.” Vanessa returned with the drinks as he finished his story. “I was really pretending to myself those days. I have to admit now that Byron wasn’t even the first guy to get my attention—he was just the first guy to return it.” Vanessa set a drink down in front of each of us. “Back then, I was all about no labels, no identity. I’m just Jeff. I’m actually secure in who I am now. I could jump on top of this table and shout my identity to the world, if it weren’t totally copying that dare you gave By back in Maine.”

Vanessa took a long sip of her smoothie. I ignored mine, staring at the surface of the skateboard for a moment. “What identity is that?” Vanessa asked. “Are you really Clark Kent or Superman?”

I looked up from the skateboard. “Hey,” I said, interrupting Jeff’s announcement. “I think P is this guy’s last initial.”

Vanessa turned from Jeff to me. “What makes you say that?”

I ran a finger along the surface in between the stickers on the board’s underside. “Someone carved some letters on here. I’m pretty sure it says LP.”

Vanessa snatched the board from me and turned it back and forth in the light. “Hey, you’re right,” she marveled. “LP. I wonder what that stands for?”

I shook my head. “Dunno,” I said, “but you were right, Vanessa. I have seen him somewhere before. I can’t remember when or where. I think we were a lot younger at the time, though.”

We finished our smoothies and were throwing away our garbage when LP and Bill showed up in the food court. They spotted us before we spotted them. “Oh, Vanessa and friends!” LP shouted.

Jeff grabbed the board and handed it to Vanessa. “What’s the fastest way out of here?” he asked.

She pointed. “That way.”

“Well, let’s go, and quick.”

The door we left by wasn’t anywhere near where we’d parked the car. We panted, out of breath, as we walked halfway around the exterior of the building. LP and Bill had been stopped by mall security shortly before we’d left the mall—not only were they running, but LP’d been shouting as well. As for us, we’d spent less than an hour at the mall and hadn’t gone into any stores. When we finally reached the car, I didn’t unlock it right away. “That was the dumbest and most illegal thing I’ve ever done,” I commented to the other two.

Vanessa leaned against the car, cradling the skateboard like a baby. “Yeah, but you had a good time,” she pointed out. I didn’t know if I agreed with that. I’d have rather gone shopping while sipping my smoothie than run out of the building like a common criminal. But it was a more enjoyable way to spend the afternoon than sitting in front of my stereo, mourning the death of my relationship (even though it was still alive for now.) I shrugged at her.

Jeff stood behind me and put a hand on each of my shoulders. I tensed up for a moment, but then relaxed. “Anyway,” he said, looking at me over my shoulder, “aren’t you the one always telling my boyfriend he needs to get out and do stuff more? Which, by the way, is something I agree with.” He stood up straight and came around to lean on the hood. “If you’re going to steal a skateboard and run through a shopping mall, you’d better do it now, while you’re still a minor and it doesn’t show up on your permanent record.” He grinned. “I’m a legal adult in a couple weeks. I’m going to celebrate by buying a lotto ticket and a pack of cigarettes and giving the cigarettes to the first homeless guy I see. Until then, I’m going to enjoy being juvenile and immature as much as possible.”

Vanessa looked at him sideways. “Today was a pretty good start,” she said, and then she burst into laughter. “Sorry I was so testy when we first got started today,” she told him.

He waved that off. “No problem. You weren’t that bad.”

We were interrupted by the sound of music—to be more specific, Beethoven’s Für Elise. The three of us looked around for a moment, trying to figure out where it was coming from before I had a revelation. “Oh!” I exclaimed, and pulled a cell phone out of my pocket. I picked up the call. “Hi Mom,” I said.

I listened to my mom for a moment as the other two looked at each other. “No, Mom, I’ll be home for dinner. Okay. Sure. Can I call you back in a minute? Okay, thanks, bye.”

Jeff and Vanessa were staring at me. “When did you get a cell phone?” Vanessa asked.

“Yesterday,” I answered. “My whole family got them, even Matt. Ours have unlimited texting, and they have a special plan that doesn’t include phone calls, just texting, especially for the deaf. I guess Mom found one more way to be prepared. I’m surprised she didn’t insist upon it years ago.”

Jeff was stretched out, actually sitting on the hood by this point. “Why’d you say you’d call her back? You didn’t have to end the call for our sake.”

“She wanted to know if I was bringing anyone home for dinner tonight. She made seafood lasagna. If you wanted to come, Jeff, I’m sure we could find you something else.”

“What kind of seafood?”

I thought about it. “It’s a mix. Shrimp and clams and squid and octopus.”

It was his turn to think. “No, that sounds fine. I’d eat that.”

Vanessa asked what I was thinking. “You’ll eat that, but not lobster?”

Jeff made a face. “I just hate the thought of the way they throw the live lobsters into the boiling water,” he finally said.

I looked over at Vanessa and she laughed. “What about you?” I asked her. “Coming to dinner?”

She looked happier than she had all day. “Sure. Any time.”

 I do my best to understand, dear But you still mystify and I want to know why I pick myself up off the ground To have you knock me back down again and again Nick Lowe, Cruel to be Kind

Jordan

The day I left for college was the worst day of my life so far.

It didn’t start that way. I was nervous about leaving, but mostly I was excited. I was ready. I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I thought I could handle whatever life was going to throw at me. I just didn’t count on Hurricane Haley.

The drive down to Gainesville isn’t exactly a short one, so Mom had taken time off work to take me to school. We were going to stop at a motel Saturday night and then she’d spend Sunday helping me get settled. She’d spend Sunday night down there before making the whole drive back on Monday. Any time I wanted to come home in the middle of the school year, I’d have to fly.

I said goodbye to my brothers and sisters one at a time. Nick had come to talk to me Friday night because he had no intention of being up early enough on Saturday to see me off. He’d spent the whole time looking at the ground, embarrassed he’d actually come in. Vanessa had stopped by fifteen minutes later and told me to remember every detail of college life because she’s trying to decide whether or not she actually wants to go to college herself. (She was kidding. I happen to know she’s dying to get accepted at Vassar.)

Margo and Claire each got up in the morning and came by to tell me to have fun off at school. They were both overly solicitous. (It wasn’t until several hours into the car ride later that day that Mom admitted that Mallory—who was moving into an apartment off campus and was planning to come home only briefly now and then—had decided to give up her bedroom. Vanessa was moving into the room (which had once been Dad’s study). With Adam and me going away, our bedroom would be empty most of the year, and Margo and Claire were campaigning to be allowed to take it over.) For her part, Mal had popped her head in and told me to have fun, but not too much fun, and told me to send her an email now and then.

Byron stopped me as I headed down to breakfast and he was headed out the door for work. “I’m so jealous, man,” he said.

“What for?” I asked with a grin. “You’re leaving in two weeks, right?”

“Right,” he agreed. “But I’m eager to start my life now.” We vowed to compare notes on a regular basis and stay in touch by email and instant message as much as possible. I was suddenly glad that he and I had had a chance to talk not long before. I can’t explain what had changed, but ever since Adam and I had sorted out our disagreement, Byron and I had been getting along better also.

I went back up to my room after breakfast to do some last minute packing. Adam was sitting on his bed, watching me sullenly. “What’s up?” I asked him. I was still sorta irritated with him for not telling me he thought he’d gotten Tiffany pregnant, but it wasn’t the first time I’d held a grudge over something idiotic he’d done, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last. I wasn’t sure if he was looking so cranky because he knew that, or if something else was going on.

He eyed me blearily; he’d just woken up. “Florida,” he said, lying back down and pulling his sheet over his chest. “Why the fuck did you have to pick a school in Florida?”

I laughed, even though he sounded serious. “Isn’t it a little late to be asking that?” I pointed out.

He made a face. “I just don’t know how we’re going to make it, being thirteen hours apart,” he said, rolling onto his back and talking to the ceiling.

“Thirteen hours?” I asked.

“I looked on MapQuest.”

“Ahh.” I put a few last minute items of clothing into a suitcase as he continued to look up and ignore me. I reached into my sock drawer and pulled out two items—a wrapped shirt box and a small jewelry store box. “C’mon, Adam,” I said, and he turned back to look at me from the top bunk, “Did you really think we’d end up at the same college?”

“No,” he said, but his voice told me he was lying. He sat back up and swung himself out of bed, jumping from the top bunk. “I just thought we’d be closer together, that’s all,” he added.

I shrugged, turning my attention away from the presents I’d put on top of my bag for longer than I’d expected. I’d thought that we’d end up much closer than thirteen hours too, but it the fact that it didn’t happen seemed to bother him a lot more than it bothered me. “I’m sorry,” I told him. “I just couldn’t pass up the chance. Florida, man! I mean, I’ve always loved them. How could I turn that down?”

He shook his head. “I guess you couldn’t,” he conceded. I picked up a few more items and put them in a pile, then remembered I needed to gather up my stuff from the bathroom. “You will stay in touch, right?”

I gaped at him; he was starting to sound like Byron a bit, with the worries over stupid shit. “No, Asshole,” I said, trying not to laugh again, “This is the last time you’re going to see or hear from me ever. Better say your last words.”

Adam slugged me in the shoulder. “All right, Shithead, point taken.”

Mom appeared in the doorway. “Jordan,” she said, looking around at the room. She’d taken to having a funny expression on her face whenever she looked and saw something else was packed up. “We’re leaving in half an hour. You said you had a stop to make?”

There was one last goodbye I had to say that I was really dreading. I packed up my toiletries and left them with the rest of my luggage by the door. I really didn’t have too much to haul—mostly just clothes. Most of my things were going to be waiting at the Kitchen & Bath store in Gainesville. I ran out the front door and was halfway across the yard when I realized I’d left Haley’s present sitting on top of my bag. Cursing myself silently, I decided to go ahead with my goodbye. Maybe I’d have Byron bring it over to her later. I had the feeling she’d be spending some extra time with him in the next few weeks before he left.

She knew I was coming and she was waiting by the door. She looked like she hadn’t slept right the night before—she was even more unhappy looking than Adam was. I had been completely ready to leave Stoneybrook behind until I saw that.

“Haley,” I whispered, not able to articulate anything I wanted to say. She tried to smile at me but failed. I pulled her into a tight hug and she squeezed me hard. I heard her sigh deeply as she pressed her face into my chest. Finally I released her. “I got you a present,” I told her, “but I left it at home.”

Haley didn’t look any happier than she had when I showed up. “I’ve got something for you, too,” she said listlessly. I’ve seen her show a large variety of emotions through the years, but I couldn’t read her right now. She didn’t look pouty like she did when she wanted something out of me, nor did she seem tearful. There was a certain dark resolve to her, like she knew something unpleasant was going to happen but there was nothing she could do about it.

I stepped inside the house. The rest of her family was home, but they quickly cleared out of the living room to give us some privacy. Haley perched on the arm of the couch and looked at me blankly. I moved to her and put one of my hands in her hair, wanting to remember the silky feeling. She pulled back for a second but then leaned toward me. I knelt in front of her and she inched off the couch, throwing her arms around my neck. “I wish you didn’t have to go,” she said directly into my neck.

“I know,” I replied. I ran my hands up and down her back as I felt the first tears drip down into my shirt. I was going to have to be careful or I’d start crying in a second. There was no telling when I’d be home next. Would I be able to afford to fly out for fall break or Thanksgiving? Probably not. Mom and Dad had promised all three of us triplets a plane ticket home for Christmas, but we were on our own for the rest of the breaks. Either find a ride or pay for our own way. Christmas break was more than four months away.

Haley finally pulled her face away from my soggy neck and sat back down. I sat down next to her, my arm around her waist. “I want you to have fun at school,” she said, wiping the back of her hand across one eye.

She was starting to sound like my parents—or Mallory. “I plan to,” I said, not sure where she was headed with this. I touched her forehead with my free hand and tucked some hair behind her ears. She was still wearing her pajamas—a tank top and a pair of shorts covered in rainbows—and she hadn’t put on makeup or done her hair yet for the day. (This was probably a good thing, because otherwise, colored mascara would be smeared all over her face once again.)

Haley nodded. “Good. And I want to help you with that.” She wiggled her way loose from my grip and backed away from me just a little bit, until she was nearly out of my reach. “I’m going to set you free,” she said, not looking happy—just resolute.

I didn’t like the sound of that. Without her to touch, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. “What does that mean?” I asked, cracking the knuckles of my left hand with my right.

She stood up and walked over to the window. The curtains were pulled open and she looked out toward the sun, not responding right away to my question. Finally she turned back toward me. “There’s going to be so much for you to do at school. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“I’m not sure how you could,” I commented. I wanted so badly to go over and join her in the window, but I knew she’d walked over there for a reason, and if I followed, she’d just go to the other side of the room.

Haley set her jaw, willing herself not to cry any more. “You’re going to meet interesting new people and have all new friends—a whole new life. All I’m saying is, that if you meet someone you like better than me, I want you to have the chance to explore that.”

“Someone I like better than you?” I repeated. What was she saying? Was she breaking up with me? “I don’t think I could ever find someone I like better than you. I don’t think you get it, Haley.” She had been looking at the ground, and when I said her name, she turned her brown eyes back to meet me. “I love you. Distance isn’t going to change that.”

She shook her head. “You don’t know that,” she said. “There are all kinds of awesome people at school, people with different ideas and new ways of thinking. You could meet girls that are way better than me—smarter, prettier, and a whole hell of a lot less crazy.”

“Haley. You are not crazy,” I insisted.

“Aren’t I? I think I am some days,” She came back over to the couch, where I was still sitting. “I’m not breaking up with you, Jordan,” she said, reading the look on my face, “I’m just saying that if you find someone else you want to date, you’re free to do so.”

I felt those tears I’d pushed down earlier come bubbling back up. “Why? I don’t want to date anyone else!” I was being a little louder than I intended. I hoped her parents weren’t overhearing any of this. “What is this about, Haley? Is there someone else you want to date?”

Haley shook her head. “Nope. I sincerely doubt there’s any guy in this town that could hold my interest.”

“Then why? Explain yourself, please.”

She shook her head again. “I already explained myself. I don’t want stupid little me in Stoneybrook holding you back in any way.”

“I take back what I said about you being crazy,” I said, “because you’re sure acting crazy right now.” She bit her lower lip and glared at me a little; I’d clearly hurt her feelings a bit. “Look. I don’t want a half-way relationship with you. Either we can be completely together, or we’re not together at all. I love you and I don’t want things to end this way.”

Haley turned away from me again. “There’s no way for us to be completely together,” she said sadly. “We’re going to be in different states, fifteen hours apart. And even if we were in the same state, I’m sure I’d just end up driving you away.”

She was sure driving me away now. “What are you saying, Haley?” I asked. She didn’t reply, just looked down at the end table, her back completely turned to me. Her hands were sitting flat in her lap; she wasn’t even fiddling with anything the way she does when she’s upset. I stood up and walked away from her. “Fine,” I said icily, standing in the doorway between the living room and the vestibule. “I guess this is it. It’s been nice knowing you.”

I was such a mix of emotions as I walked back to my house. I was mad at Haley for being so stubborn and hard-headed. Why wouldn’t she listen to reason? But I was also upset with myself for not being more patient with her. I have quite the temper sometimes, but I had been trying so hard not to ever unleash it on her, because she has moments where she’s just so delicate I’m afraid she’ll break. I hadn’t even given her a sliver of my fury this morning for that reason.

But mostly I was just sad. We’d been together a little less than four months. Is this all I was going to get out of her? Granted, it was the longest relationship I’d ever been in, but that kind of made it worse. What was the matter with me that I couldn’t hold on to a girlfriend—especially one that I’d never been anything but careful with?

I went around the back of the house, hoping I could slide in through the kitchen without anyone else seeing me. I hadn’t actually shed a tear, but I knew my eyes must look like I had. I didn’t have any luck in the avoidance department. “Hey, Jordan,” Adam said as I came in through the door, my head ducked down so he couldn’t see my face, “You left Haley’s present upstairs. Did you want to run it back over to her?”

I shook my head, still looking at the linoleum. “No.”

Adam held it up. “What do you want me to do with it?” he asked.

“Throw it in the trash.” I hurried out of the room, leaving him with a bewildered look on his face, still holding the boxes.

Mom was standing at the bottom of the stairs with the two bags I still had in the house. “Jordan,” she said, clearly surprised, “You’re back sooner than I expected.”

I didn’t reply directly to that. “Can we go now?” I asked.

She raised her eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

“Can we please just leave?”

***

Mom must have gotten the idea that I was serious, because we were on the road within five minutes. She watched me quietly the first ten minutes or so, until Stoneybrook was behind us and everything ahead of us was uncharted territory. “Spill,” she said finally. “What happened?”

I sighed because I knew we were going to be spending fifteen hours in the car together. If I didn’t tell her now, I’d tell her eventually. Better to get it over with. “I think Haley broke up with me,” I said mournfully.

Mom had planned to let me drive the first leg, but she knows better than to let me behind the wheel when I’m worked up. “You think she broke up with you?” she asked incredulously. “What exactly does that mean?”

I watched the scenery for a moment before I replied. “She said she wanted to set me free. I’m still not quite sure what she meant by that. But she made it clear that I was allowed to date other girls. I told her I didn’t want to do things half-way with her.” I made a face as I realized that I’d actually broken up with her, not the other way around.

Mom looked out to the horizon as she drove, but I knew she was paying attention to everything I said. Sometimes, Adam calls me a Mama’s boy, because he doesn’t go to our parents with his problems the way I do. Neither, I’d noticed, did Byron. Well, so what? Mom’s always good for solving my girl problems, plus she gets a lot less mad when I go to her and tell her I’ve done something I shouldn’t than when she finds out through the grapevine. She knows that I got really sick the one time I smoked pot, and that ever since then, I’ve just pretended to take a hit if someone passes me a joint.

She finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Jordan,” she said. “Breakups bite.” I laughed at her phrasing and she smiled lightly. That had been her intent. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

I slumped down in my seat. Unfortunately, there wasn’t. Try as she might, your mom can’t mend your broken heart any more than she can mend your broken bone. “I don’t get it, Mom,” I said, hoping that she had some insight into the ways of women. “Why did Haley do this? She kept saying I’d find a girl that was better than her. Do you think it’s possible that she never loved me the way I loved her?”

Mom reached over and patted my arm. “Sweetheart, it sounds like just the opposite. I don’t know—I can’t get into Haley’s head. But I think she cared so much about you that the idea that you could potentially find someone else scared her. She wanted to stave off the hurt by being able to say, ‘I told him he could do this,’ if you ever did break up with her.”

The tears I’d been fighting all morning long finally came out. “I wouldn’t do that to her,” I said sadly. Even if by some chance I actually found another girl I liked more than Haley—and I couldn’t even imagine one—I wouldn’t want to sneak around and date someone else behind her back…even if she’d given me permission to do just that.

The tears were quiet and I wasn’t sure Mom noticed them at first. After a moment, she reached into the console between the seats and pulled out a tissue that she handed me. I wiped my eyes with it. “I know that,” Mom said, her eyes still on the road. We were quiet for a while and I threw the tissue away. “First love is tough, Jordan,” she said finally. “You want so bad to make it work, but it doesn’t usually. You’re still growing up, even though you’re an adult. Even though neither one of you sets out to hurt the other, you end up growing apart and doing just that.”

She had a faraway look in her eyes. “You’re not talking about me and Haley anymore, are you?” I asked.

Mom shook her head. “No. I’m talking about my first love.”

“You mean you don’t think of Dad as your first love?”

Mom laughed. “You don’t think your dad is the only guy I ever dated?” she asked.

“No…” I said slowly. Actually, I kinda had thought that. “I just didn’t realize that you’d had other boyfriends that you loved like that.”

“Oh yeah.” Mom changed lanes and then briefly looked over at me. “I’d call your dad my fourth love. No, probably my fifth. In any case, I dated a boy when I was sixteen. Tommy. I loved him so much. He went away to college like you’re doing, and he got me a promise ring, saying that if I were only two years older, he’d buy me an engagement ring instead.” I blushed, thinking of the box that I’d told Adam to throw away. It wasn’t a promise ring and definitely not an engagement ring, but Mom could have been telling my story right now other than that.

Mom went on. “We started out okay doing the long distance thing. We’d call and talk every Sunday night, and we wrote letters all the time. But as time went on, the letters and calls became less common. We just both got busy with other things. I definitely never cheated on him, and I’m fairly certain he never cheated on me. But when he came home that summer, we had all the time in the world to spend with each other. And we found out that we were just two very different people than we had been the year before. We got into a fight and broke up. I gave him back his ring, and I didn’t see him again for several years after that.” I shook my head in sympathy. “But a short time later I met Frank, who was my second love. And Tommy, he met a girl off a school and married her. Actually,” Mom laughed, “I think he’s been divorced a couple times over now.”

I sighed. “I just don’t think I could ever meet another girl like Haley,” I said.

Mom smiled. “Here’s the thing, Jordan. Maybe Haley will realize she’s been silly and call you and you can work it out. And maybe you two will have better luck than Tommy and I did. I hope so. But if it doesn’t end up that way, you won’t ever meet another girl like Haley. You’ll meet another girl that has some of the qualities you love in Haley, but others that you didn’t even know you were looking for. Each failed romance helps you figure out what you need in a partner. Tommy wasn’t the right guy for me. And neither was Frank or the other two men I loved before your dad. But they helped me figure myself out enough to be in the right place when your dad came along.”

“Did you ever tell any of them you were going to set them free and let them date other girls?”

“No,” Mom answered, “I’ve never done that. But I’m sure that in Haley’s head, she had a very good reason for that.”

I replayed our conversation in my mind, and one line stuck. She had said, ‘I’m sure I’ll just end up driving you away.’ Suddenly, I understood exactly what this was all about. “She’s afraid that she’s going to do something to hurt me, so she wanted to give me an out before she did that,” I said slowly out loud, more to myself than to Mom, “What she didn’t realize is that her actions to prevent from hurting me hurt me more than anything else she could have done.”

Mom made a sympathetic noise. “Why do you think she’s afraid of hurting you?” she asked.

I think she wanted me to realize the truth to her earlier statement that Haley did actually care about me more than I realized, but that’s not where my head went. “She’s got issues,” I said. Mom raised her eyebrows. “Something happened to her once, and she’s got all these walls and barriers since then. I agreed that I wouldn’t try to break them down too fast or without her permission, but it turns out that she’s needing a lot more time to get past things than even she thought.” I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing I were hugging her. “I think she was afraid I’d get tired of being patient and just give up on her entirely.”

Mom looked surprised. “What exactly happened to her, Jordan?” she asked, alarmed. I shook my head. If I told Mom, she’d tell Haley’s mother, who I’m pretty certain didn’t know. She definitely would have sent her to see a professional and most likely would have had the guy arrested, and I know neither of those things ever happened. “Is this something her mother should know about? The police?”

I nodded miserably. “Yes and yes. But Mom, it’s been several years. Haley needs to be the one to tell her mom, don’t you think?” Mom nodded reluctantly. “She barricaded herself from the world afterward. I’m pretty sure it’s why she stopped hanging out with Vanessa and all their friends. Byron was able to get past that because she considered him safe, for some reason.” I still didn’t quite understand exactly what had drawn Haley to Byron, although I wasn’t jealous of their friendship particularly. If anything, I was glad they’d had each other—for both of their sakes’.

“I’d always wondered about that myself,” Mom said with a little laugh. “Haley and Byron. By and Hay, right?” I smiled at that. “Two polar opposites in some ways. You don’t get much louder or outspoken than Haley, while Byron at that point was so quiet and conservative. I think they just each needed someone who accepted them for their faults and issues.”

“That sounds about right,” I said after a moment’s reflection. “And I thought I’d found that in her, too.”

Mom glanced over at me again. “Give it time, Jordan,” she said. “She might come back around. If she’s that barricaded and guarded, she might need some time and a little shove to realize she made a mistake.”

I really hoped there was someone around willing to do a little shoving.

 Too bad you couldn’t see See the man that boy could be There is more than meets the eye I see the soul that is inside Avril Lavigne, Sk8er Boi

P

August 2, 2004, I finally passed my driver’s test.

My parents had presented me with my very own car as a reward. It had taken a few hours to slip away from the celebration, but I’d had somewhere I needed to go—and someone I needed to talk to.

I slid behind the wheel of my car for the very first time and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It wasn’t just the freedom that now lay in front of me as it does every new driver. I had a specific purpose in mind at that moment, and knowing that I could finally fulfill it was making me extra happy.

I had looked in the phone book and found the name and address I needed. (Luckily, there’s only one Pike family in Stoneybrook.) Actually, I had had the address on Slate Street tacked up on my wall for nearly two months. I’d meant to go there sooner—or maybe just call—but I knew Vanessa would want to know whether I’d gotten my license. It would have been too embarrassing to tell her I’d made the same stupid mistake for a third time. So I’d vowed to wait until I could indeed show her my new ID.

Actually, I’d been a little worried that Vanessa had been a lot less interested in me than I was in her. Obviously, I’d piqued her interest that day at the DMV, but I’d kind of hoped she’d wait around to see if I’d made it. I’d planned to give her my number—if not necessarily my name—after the test. But she’d been gone when I’d come back, and I was pretty sure she’d forgotten all about our little encounter, even if I couldn’t.

But then she and her two friends had stolen my skateboard at the mall the other day. That told me one of two things. Either she was a kleptomaniac and she was really bad at it (unlikely, but funny) or she had wanted me to see her taking my board. That meant she was interested in me enough that she wanted me to come hunt her down. Assuming she wasn’t really a klepto, I’d decided to give her what she wanted.

No one was home when I arrived at her house, which struck me as kind of weird. I couldn’t remember exactly how many brothers and sisters she had, but I did remember there were quite a few. I’d gone on vacation once with her brother and a mutual friend, and I know her sister also had mutual friends with my sister. I seemed to remember at least one older sister and older brother also.

I parked out front, wondering if this had been a bad idea. How would I explain myself to her mom or someone if they came home and saw me sitting outside their house? “I’m here to see Vanessa, but don’t tell her I came by, because she doesn’t know who I am”?

I guess I got lucky. Vanessa came walking across the grass from the next house over—the one on the corner, facing out onto Burnt Hill Rd—just a few minutes later. I jumped out of the car and waited nervously as she came over. She spotted me as I leaned against the trunk of the car, looking in her direction. “Well, well, if it isn’t LP,” she said shaking her head and half-smiling. “I wondered when I’d find you here.”

Obviously, she’d been looking over my skateboard and found the carving Bill had made. “Well, I had to show you that I eventually did pass my driver’s test,” I said nonchalantly. She was wearing a short black skirt, fishnet stockings and a cropped white shirt under suspenders. Her hair was pulled back on either side with clips that had pink roses on them. She’s clearly gone Lolita since I’d seen her last, but it didn’t make her any less charming in my eyes.

She stopped a couple yards away, raised her eyebrows and jutted out one hip, putting her hand on it. “Oh? And how many tries did it take you?” she asked.

“Five,” I admitted.

Vanessa laughed. “Really? I think you’re just saying that to give you an excuse for not hunting me down earlier.”

I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and removed the newly minted license. “You can see that I got it earlier today,” I pointed out.

She came to me and took the proffered card. “Yes, I do see that…” she said with a grin and a gleam in her eye.

I grinned back at her. “I didn’t just come by to show you that,” I told her as I stuffed my wallet back into my pocket.

“Of course,” she said. “You need your skateboard back.”

I sighed. Vanessa didn’t seem to be catching my hints. “Yup. Definitely.”

“Well, it’s in the garage. Come with me.”

The garage was behind the house. It was totally devoid of cars, but there was enough detritus in there that I wondered how Vanessa—or anyone else—could ever find anything specific. But she went straight to it. “Here you are,” she said, handing it over. I took it from her and spun one of the wheels, not sure how to proceed. I was afraid that any further hints to the real purpose of my visit would also be spinning my wheels. “Does everyone call you P?” Vanessa asked out of nowhere.

“What?”

“The friend you were with last week? He called you P. Does everyone call you that?”

I nodded. “Just about. Only my parents call me by my first name any more. Even my sisters call me P.”

She grinned. “I kinda like that. Think I could get everyone to call me V?” I shrugged at her. “Probably doesn’t matter. It’s just that Vanessa is kind of awkward. It doesn’t have any good nicknames.”

“I like it,” I told her. “It’s a whole hell of a lot better than my first name.”

She blushed a little bit. “We should probably go back out front,” she commented, ducking her head so I couldn’t see her pink cheeks. “My mom should be home soon, and she’ll have my head if she catches me inside a building with a guy.”

Before I knew it we were back at the car. I guessed that the real reason she wanted to head outdoors was so that she could usher me away. I screwed up my courage. “You have any plans tonight?” I asked her.

She snickered. “I told my mom I had to work,” she said, looking around to make sure that no one was listening, “but I really got fired almost two weeks ago.”

“Fired? For what?”

Vanessa shook her head in mock disgust. “This one customer made me remake his ice cream five times. Finally, I told him to go hell.”

Whoa. What kind of girl was this I’d come across? “That’s almost awesome,” I said.

“I know, right?” she laughed. “I kinda wish I hadn’t done it though. I was hoping to work through the school year. Earn enough money to blow this town when I graduate.”

“Well, why don’t you just find another shitty job?” I asked. She grinned at me. “What do you end up doing while you claim to be at work?”

“A little bit of this and a little bit of that,” she commented idly. “I make some mischief, of course.”

This was it. It was now or never. “Well, do you want to go out for dinner with me then?” I asked.

She didn’t even look surprised. “Well, duh,” she said with another grin. She had me flustered. “P, I’ve been hoping you would track me down for seven whole weeks. If I’d known your name, I’d have called you that night and asked you the very same question.” Her cheeks were pink again, but she didn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed. “My friends and I have spent a lot of time trying to find you again. It just took me six fuckin’ weeks to be successful.”

I laughed in disbelief. “I was going to give you my number that day,” I admitted, “but you were gone when I came back from flunking the test again. I blame that completely on you hypnotizing me, by the way.”

Vanessa leaned on my car. “My dad came back and I had to go,” she said. “But as for you flunking…you can’t blame that on me, even if I do give off awesomely hypnotic vibes.”

I opened my back car door and threw my board inside, and then I leaned toward her. “Are you hypnotizing me now?” I asked.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

I leaned in and kissed her briefly. “Yup. I’m definitely under a spell.”

She looked me straight in the eye, her whole face smiling. “Did you want to go now, or say hello to my whole family? Most of them are going to be home in the next twenty minutes or so.”

I shuddered at the thought of that. “Is it okay if we leave now?” I asked.

She laughed. “Of course. Let me just go inside to leave a note. Do you have a cell phone? My mom’s going to want the number…and of course, so do I.”

I followed her to the back door, but she made me stand in the doorway so that I wasn’t technically inside. Apparently, me just being in the house when her mom came home was cause for a ‘seriously long grounding.’ She wrote the note quickly and left it on the fridge. As she was locking the door behind her, my phone chirped. I looked at the display and turned to Vanessa. “This will just take a second,” I said. She shrugged. “Yo, Bill….No, I’m at Vanessa’s….Yes, I finally got my license….Okay, I’ll ask her….Talk to you later.”

Vanessa had been listening to every word. “Ask me what?” she asked suspiciously.

“Nothing serious,” I said, feeling a little chagrined. “My friend Bill just developed a crush on your short blonde friend you were with last week. He was hoping we could go on a double date sometime if she’s single.”

She laughed. “Well, she literally just broke up with my brother two days ago,” she said seriously, “so I doubt she’s up for it yet. Besides, your friend Bill is presuming quite a bit here.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s assuming you’re going to get a second date and probably more, if he wants us to double ‘sometime.’” She turned to look at me, a smile hiding behind her faux- seriousness.

I smiled back at her. “Well, I’m kinda hoping for that too. I didn’t leave your name and address on my wall for two months for just a one night stand.”

She leaned in toward me. “Let’s see how tonight goes, Mr. Papadakis,” she said, and then she kissed me this time. “And then, we’ll talk.”

 Well I never pray But tonight I’m on my knees, yeah I need some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah The Verve, Bitter Sweet Symphony

Adam

I was the only one home one afternoon. The day before had been the final day of day camp, and I was so glad. Good riddance to other people’s kids. I’d flopped down on the couch and been so aimless that I’d decided to try playing one of Nick’s video games. It was either that or go to my bedroom. I’d been avoiding that.

I wasn’t in the mood to deal with the ghost of Jordan.

I missed him more than I’d expected. He’d always just been there and I’d always taken that for granted. I was betting that things would get easier soon: just eight more days, and then Mom and I were headed off to Ohio. (Dad would be taking Byron down to North Carolina the same day.) Once everything was new and different and interesting, I’d mourn the loss of his presence a lot less. At least, I hoped so.

Nick’s video game wasn’t just distracting me; it was pissing me off. I couldn’t figure out how to work it. It was a lot more complicated than shooting at aliens or pressing a bunch of random buttons and hoping they made my fighter do something decent. I’d just given up and thrown the controller across the room when I heard chuckling from the bottom of the stairs. “That bad, huh?”

I turned to look at Mallory. “The game or my life?” I asked her.

She sat down on the far side of the couch. She was home early from work, but she was wearing her work-style clothes: a pair of khakis, a button-down short-sleeved blouse and sandals. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail, but large chunks of it were escaping. “Well,” she began, picking at one sandal until the strap came undone and it fell off, “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but you have looked kind of unhappy the last couple weeks.”

I watched as she took the other shoe off and then curled her feet up under her butt. “Yeah, well, my whole summer has blown monkey balls,” I summarized.

Mal gave me a stare, trying to size me up. After a moment, she shook her head. “Harsh words,” she commented. I nodded. That was true, but it was accurate to how I felt. “What’s been so terrible about it?”

I really didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t really want even a single other person in the universe to know how the past few weeks had gone. “You wouldn’t understand,” I said with a shake of my head.

Mallory was quiet for a moment. “I understand a lot more than you know, Adam,” she said, sounding a little indignant. “You don’t know unless you try me.”

“It’s about sex.” That slipped out without me intending to say it.

Mal laughed. “You think I don’t understand about sex?” she asked in surprise. I shrugged at her. She never mentioned guys ever. Actually, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been the one to come out of the closet, quite frankly. “Let me ask you a question, Adam,” she said, and she was smiling a smile I didn’t like. “How many people have all three of you triplets slept with, all together?”

“What?”

“Just answer the question. I’ll explain.”

I looked at her, disgusted. How had we come to be having this conversation, exactly? “One,” I admitted.

She looked thoughtful. “Only one. Really?” I nodded. “And you’re the one, am I right?” I nodded again. “When I was your age, I’d been with two different guys. Now, I’m at three. You think I don’t know about sex?”

Well, that was a surprise. I guess it was just a lot easier for her to keep quiet about her sex life when she was away at school and didn’t have all of us nosing into her business 365 days a year. “Ever had a pregnancy scare?” I asked her.

It was her turn to be surprised. “No. I’ve been very careful and very lucky, I guess. Why? Did Tiffany think she was pregnant?”

I lay back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, rather than at her. There was a pencil stuck in it that Jordan had thrown there when we were ten. We’d agreed to never point it out and see how long it took for one of our parents to notice it or for it to fall down. Eight years later, it was still there. “She is pregnant,” I admitted, still gazing upward.

Mal didn’t even try to hide her shock. “Adam,” she began, her mouth hanging open.

I cut her off before she could give me any sympathy or anything else. “Don’t worry about me, Mal,” I said. “It’s not mine. She’s been pregnant this whole time.”

Her mouth was still open for a moment longer before she regained her composure. “She was pregnant when she came over for the party?” I nodded, not telling her that Tiffany had thought that was actually when she’d gotten pregnant in the first place. “Did she know?”

I shook my head. “Long story short, I thought it was mine for a while. But the dates just didn’t work out.”

Mal pulled her feet back out from underneath her and put them on the cushion between us. “Poor Tiffany. How’s she holding up?”

I sighed. “I’m giving her some space. She said she needed to get her life in order and it was something she needed to do on her own.”

Mallory nodded. “That’s gotta be tough for her.” I nodded back. “Well, how are you holding up?”

I slumped a little bit. “I should be feeling better than I am. I mean, I cheated God, right? I’m not going to be a father. I should be celebrating…or at least feeling relieved.”

Mal completed my thought for me. “But you don’t.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what that is. Maybe you’re just feeling bad for Tiff.”

I thought about that a moment. I definitely felt for Tiff—not only was she going to go through with the pregnancy—something she didn’t plan for and didn’t appear to want— but she didn’t have too many people standing behind her. “Well, it’s not like I was in love with her or anything. But I do wish her well, no matter what.”

“Maybe you should stop by and see her one more time before you go off to school. Put a little closure to the situation.” I just grunted at her and she rolled her eyes. “Or ignore me all together. After all, what do I know about anything?” I didn’t reply to that, so she changed the subject. “So, have you heard from Jordan? How’s he holding up?”

I became instantly crankier. I actually hadn’t heard from Jordan at all. “I’m sure he’s just fine.”

Mal looked at me sideways. “That’s not what I heard.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked away, sulking like a small child. Mallory’s expression changed. “Oh. You don’t know yet,” she assumed with surprise.

“Don’t know what?” She was starting to annoy me.

“Margo answered the phone yesterday and it was Jordan on the other end. She said she could barely understand him.” She leaned over towards me, watching my expression.

“So?” I didn’t get where this was going. “Did he have a cold, or does he already have a Florida accent?”

“No,” Mal didn’t stop watching me. “He was crying. So I talked to Byron, and he said that Jordan and Haley broke up.”

That made twice in one conversation she’d surprised me. The way those two were going, I expected them to at least think they could make a long distance relationship work, no matter how stupid it was. I knew Haley must have been the one behind the split for two reasons. First, Jordan wouldn’t have been crying on the phone to Mom if it had been his idea. Second, every third word out of his mouth for about a year and a half had been Haley. He even talked about her in his sleep, for Christ’s sake. “He hadn’t mentioned that,” I told her. I suddenly understood why he hadn’t been in touch. Given how strong his feelings were, I imagined he was sorta depressed.

Mal stood up and gave me another look. “Think about what I said, okay? And if you want to talk, I’ll be in my room.”

“Sure, thanks.” I had no intention of going to Mal’s room for another talk, but it was easier to humor her. Besides, I didn’t really need to talk to her any further. She’d given me enough of a hint. I went back upstairs and found the phone charger empty. I searched the most logical place to find it, and sure enough, it was on Margo’s bed. I picked it out from among the mess of clothes and left my sisters’ room entirely, instead popping into Nick and Byron’s room.

It was a hot mess. Byron had pulled out every drawer and there was stuff everywhere. He was already starting to pack, putting aside piles of what to take and putting everything else back into the drawers. The only place in the whole room that wasn’t messy was Nick’s bed and desk. I sat down on his desk chair and dialed the phone. “Hello?” a familiar voice said.

“Hi, Maria. Is Tiffany home?”

“Yup. Let me go get her.”

She picked up the phone a few seconds later, sounding surprisingly chipper. “Adam! How are you?”

“Can’t complain.” Obviously, I could complain. I just figured my problems would sound like whines in comparison to hers. “I’m leaving for school in a few days. I was hoping we could get together one last time before I left.”

I could hear her smile. “Great! There are a few things I want to say to you that would be better in person. Are you free this evening?”

I looked at my watch. “I think I’m free now, if that’s okay with you. Let me just check and make sure I have the car. I’ll call you back if it’s not happening, okay?” She agreed to that and we hung up.

I left the phone on its cradle and, despite my previous protests, I went downstairs to Mal’s room. I knocked and she opened the door almost instantly, looking surprised to see me. “Do you need the car right now? I asked.

She gave a self-satisfied smile, realizing I was taking her advice. “No. But I’m pretty sure Byron has to work tonight.”

I nodded. “I’ll be back in time.”

***

Tiffany was sitting out front when I arrived, same as she had been the day I’d picked her up for our appointment. The difference, though, was stunning. She didn’t seem tearful and upset, but instead she smiled as I pulled up. “Adam. It’s good to see you,” she said as I gave her a hug.

“Good to see you, too. You look much happier than you did the last time I saw you.”

“I feel much better than I did that day.” She squeezed my arm and then let me go. “Do you want to go inside, or sit out here?”

“It’s not too hot today. Let’s sit out here.” We plopped down in the grass, same as we had done in the park when she’d told me she was pregnant. “What’s changed for you?”

She turned her face to the sun and smiled again. Suddenly, she was the girl she’d been when we were younger—the first time we’d dated: she’d had the life returned to her. “Everything. Where do I start?” She twisted her head so that it was still turned up but she was looking at me, sitting beside her. “My mom has been so cool. I expected her to kick me out, or just tell me I was on my own. But she has been absolutely amazing.”

I was almost as surprised as she was. “That’s great.”

“Yeah. I think part of it was that she felt like she’d failed me or something, like this was all her fault.” Tiff unfolded her legs and put them out in front of her, leaning back on her hands. “But in any case, she’s on my side. She’s taking me out to get some stuff this weekend.”

I folded my legs up under me. “What kind of stuff?” I asked.

“Maternity clothes. My pants don’t fit any more, see?” She pulled her shirt tight around her middle and showed off her belly, which had gotten larger in the past two weeks. I couldn’t believe how round it was. You couldn’t see it unless she showed it off like that, but she definitely had a baby belly. “Plus, we’re going to get a crib and a changing table and a few other things.”

I was surprised. “You decided to keep the baby?”

She sat back up. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure at first. I kept going back and forth. But I stopped to think about it. I feel like I was given this for a reason. I wasn’t going anywhere with my life, ya know?” I shook my head, not sure what she meant. “I had no direction. I was going to school, but I didn’t know what I wanted to study. I wasn’t really into it. I didn’t have any plans like you do, and like my sisters do.” She put one hand on her belly and smiled. “But this baby…now I have a purpose. My life’s got direction. I’m going to be someone’s mom. I need to figure everything else out so that I can be good at that major role.”

I felt a little uncomfortable because I didn’t quite relate. I nodded anyway, wanting her to go on. “My whole life is going to revolve around this little man. He’s going to be the center of my universe.”

I finally smiled. “Or she,” I said.

She shook her head, her own smile getting bigger. “No, it’s a boy. I had an ultrasound earlier today. I’m getting used to the feel of that gel on my stomach.” We looked at each other briefly and then looked away, remembering how panicked and unhappy we’d felt the last time she’d had an ultrasound. Hard to believe that was only a couple weeks ago. “This time, I got to see the baby wiggling around and moving. He’s already almost a person, Adam. I couldn’t believe how much he looked like a baby. That’s when I decided I definitely was going to keep him. And so they told me they were fairly certain he’s a boy.”

A baby boy. What if it had been my baby? Would I have been as excited and happy as she seemed to be now? Maybe it wasn’t something I needed to worry about. “That’s great, Tiff,” I commented, glad she was feeling better about herself.

“Isn’t it? I never thought I’d be happy about something like this. I mean, being a single, teenaged mom is supposed to ruin your life, not make it better. But it’s given me focus. I have to become a better person than I’ve been, for my son’s sake.” Tiffany looked serious for the first time the whole conversation. “I’m already enrolled in some classes for this semester. After that, I’m going to take a semester off and then finish my associates next fall. Then my mom says I can work for her at her real estate office. I can file things for starters and work my way up, and then she’ll help me get a realtor’s license eventually.”

It had only been two weeks since we’d talked last, yet she’d made such a huge step forward in her life plan. “I’m really proud of you,” I said.

“What for?” she asked, confused. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“Yes, you did,” I pointed out. “You talked to your mom, something that has never been your strong point, and admitted something that could have caused a riot in your home. You took control of your life and put together a plan…something else that, by your own admission, isn’t really something you’re good at either.”

She dismissed that. “That was all because of you.”

“Nope. I might have given you a tiny nudge, but you were the one who actually took the plunge.”

Tiff thought for a moment. “I did, didn’t I?” she asked. I nodded at her and she grinned. “But I do need to thank you for a lot of stuff. You were the only person there for me at a time when I needed someone the most. And you did give me that shove. You pointed out so many things to me that should have been obvious but that weren’t.”

I didn’t usually look at my life that way, but it was really nice seeing it through her eyes. She went on. “The best part is that, now that you’re leaving, I have a whole crew of people standing behind me. I’ve got my mom and my sisters. Hell, even Haley called a couple days after we last spoke. She wanted to know how I was doing.”

I was surprised once again. I knew Haley had heard about Tiffany and I assumed Jordan had told her about Tiff deciding to go through with everything. “I’m glad you two are getting along,” I commented.

“I know, right? I guess the one thing I really learned this summer is that we all make mistakes. The key is to forgive other people for as many mistakes as you can, because you want others to do the same for you.”

Would you know, she was right? I knew I had one person to whom I had to do a little repaying for some things I had said. “Have you spoken to Haley in the past few days?” I asked. Tiff shook her head. “You might want to. I think she can use a shoulder to cry on.” She gave me an odd look and I didn’t blame her. Haley isn’t exactly my favorite person in the universe; there’s been no escaping her presence on a regular basis over the past few years. But she didn’t really deserve a couple comments I’d made about her. “She and Jordan broke up before he left for school.”

Tiffany made a sympathetic noise. “I’ll call her in the next couple days before school starts,” she vowed. “Meanwhile, I have another conversation coming up that is definitely not going to be pleasant. I still have to tell Eric what’s going on.” I cringed. I’d never met her ex-boyfriend, but I did know that the two of them hadn’t ended things on good terms. “I’ve called him twice, hoping just to get him to return my call. I figure it will be a lot easier to get him to cooperate if I don’t have to let him know he’s going to be a father by sending him a certified letter from my mom’s attorney.”

We were quiet for a while before she spoke again. “Do you remember when we first met up for coffee and I had a whole list of complaints?” I nodded. “I said I had no friends, my mom never talked to me, my boyfriend cheated on me, my sisters were too busy for me, and I flunked algebra. Well, here we are three months later. I’m on much better terms with my family now. I even talked to my dad for a few minutes, although I didn’t tell him about the baby yet. I spent the summer dating the nicest guy I know.” I couldn’t help but smile when she said that.

Tiffany took my hand as she continued. “And I’m hoping that, even though you’re going away to school, where you’ll meet a whole bunch of new people, and I’m going to be too busy to even consider a relationship, you’ll continue to stay in touch, and I’ll be able to say I have you as a friend.”

I squeezed her hand back. “Of course,” I agreed. “After all, I fully expect you to bombard my email with pictures of your son after he’s born.” She lit up and I laughed. “So you’ve resolved most of your problems this summer. What about algebra?”

Tiff made a face for a moment, but then she smiled again. “Believe it or not,” she said slowly, teasing me, “I passed algebra. Just barely.”

“Well, I guess you’ve got no more problems, then, huh?” I teased her.

She viewed me seriously as I stood up. “Of course, I know that raising a child isn’t going to be easy. There are probably going to be days I regret my choices. But as of now, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life.”

I reached out and took both of her hands and pulled her upright. “I have to go,” I told her sadly, “I have to get the car back by four-forty so that Byron can get to work.”

Tiff gave me one more hug. “Have fun at school, Adam,” she said seriously. “Take care and be safe.”

I hugged her back tightly. “I will. You take care of that little man of yours, too.”

She put one of her hands on her hip and the other on her stomach, jutting her belly forward so it was visible again. “I definitely will. Thanks again for everything.”

I reached the car and put my hand on the door handle, but I turned back around to face you. “Thank you, too. I don’t know if you realize it, but you taught me more than just about anyone I’ve ever known.” She looked surprised, but I said no more. “Bye, Tiff.”

“Bye, Adam,” she replied, a little sadly.

***

I was a little annoyed when I arrived home to discover that Byron didn’t need the car after all. He and Haley had carpooled together. But I got over it pretty quickly. Tiff and I had said everything that needed to be said. Besides, it wasn’t like it had really been goodbye. I knew she was actually going to stay in touch and I was glad about that.

A large amount of my family was gathered down in the basement, watching a movie. I decided I needed to take a little bit of Tiffany’s initiative. I didn’t go join them down in the rec room, an easy choice. Instead, I went up to my bedroom. Jordan’s bed was still there and still in the half-made state in which he left it. But other than that, it seemed devoid of his presence. He’d taken down his Yankees poster and removed every item off his dresser and desk. In fact, his desk was so empty that I found Margo in front of it, putting things in it. “What are you doing?” I asked her incredulously.

She sniffed at me. “Mom said that Claire and I have to keep sharing a room, even though this bedroom is going to be empty after you leave. But Jordan told me I could use his desk, since it’s empty.”

I just couldn’t believe that. Actually, I could, if I was honest about it. I sighed. “Fine. But do me a favor and keep your crap out my room until I leave for school, okay?”

Margo rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You sure are cranky.”

She started to gather up her stuff and I thought about what Tiffany has said. “Margo. Wait.” She looked up. “Never mind. Just go ahead and leave your stuff there. I’m sorry I was so short with you.”

Margo raised her eyebrows. “You feeling okay, Adam?” She didn’t wait for an answer, just headed out of my room, leaving her box of desk supplies on top of the desk. “I’ll wait until you’re not around to do this. Sorry I surprised you.”

I waited until she left and looked at her box of girly pens, paper clips and other garbage. I shook my head and went downstairs and to the computer, which had been moved to the living room when Mal had taken over the office. I pulled up my email and started writing.

To: ct_yankee_fan_00 From: ladiezman47 Subject: how is it going? Hey man…I heard about you and Haley. Hope you are doing okay. Let me know if you need to talk or anything. I know you’re busy with training right now but drop me a line when you’re free. Adam

 And when the rain Beats against my window pane I’ll think of summer days again And dream of you Chad and Jeremy, A Summer Song

Jeff

I’d already worked my last day at Kitchen & Bath. Byron and I had gone in together to put in our two weeks’ notice. Saturday had been my last day. Wednesday was his.

So despite the fact that I never wanted to see that place again, I’d made arrangements to head back out there Wednesday afternoon, right as he was getting off work. Mom was in the planning phase of a project, so she was working from home and didn’t need her car. It amazes me on a regular basis how she can put together these elaborately designed, beautiful rooms and then turn around and do weird shit like leave the mail in the freezer.

I was getting ready to leave the house when my sister came out of her bedroom. “All packed?” Dawn asked. The two of us were leaving for California the next day.

“For the most part,” I said breezily. Dawn had been getting on my nerves a bit recently, but she was starting to mellow out. I guess she’d realized that, despite the apparent changes, I wasn’t really any different than I had been before she’d left for Peru almost fifteen months earlier.

“Me too,” she commented as she followed me down the stairs. “I can’t wait to get back to California,” she added.

“Connecticut treating you that badly?” I asked, looking at her sideways.

“Noooo,” she said slowly. “It’s not Connecticut specifically. I’ve just been away for so long, constantly moving and traveling. I’m ready to go home.”

I nodded. “I can understand that. Question is, where is home these days?”

Dawn smiled at me. “And that’s a very, very good question.” She sat down at the kitchen table, where she’d left a book earlier in the day. The book was in Spanish and even though I took four years of Spanish in high school, I couldn’t translate the title. “I think that’s the trouble with this age we’re both in. We want to be adult and independent, but we haven’t cut the ties to our parents’ homes yet.”

I nodded at Dawn, even though she was sort of talking over my head. How was I supposed to cut ties? No one would let me. She went on. “I guess I don’t know whether I mean my apartment with my college friends, or whether I mean Palo City with Dad and Carol and Gracie…and you.”

I sat backwards in a chair and she picked up her book. All the time she’d been trying to talk to me since she’d breezed back into my life, she’d been trying to get me to talk about my life. This was the first time she’d really opened up about hers. “Maybe it’s a little of both,” I suggested. Dawn smiled. “They say home is where the heart is, after all,” I added idly, spewing forth a horrible cliché.

Dawn’s face drooped a little. “I guess home is back in Lima at Universidad Nacional Mayor de San Marcos,” she said with a sigh.

“Ohh-hh?” I asked, my pitch rising a little as I neared the end of the word. She looked at me with almost a hint of a smile. “Who is he?”

She shook her head. “Does it matter?” she replied. “We were together for most of the year. We vowed to stay in touch. I was even going to save up for a plane ticket back to Lima for Christmas.” I nodded, urging her to continue. “While I was at Sunny’s in New York, I got an email from him. He said that he’d had fun with me, but it was time for him to settle down and find a nice Catholic Peruvian girl his parents would approve of.” Dawn hadn’t opened her book, but she was clutching it to her chest, as if she could protect her heart from the story. “I loved him, and he was using me for a good time. And then he broke up with me by email! Email!”

Had she been a different girl, Dawn probably would have been crying by then, but she’d learned a long time ago how to toughen herself up. That’s why the show of emotion I was getting was so rare and special. I didn’t even know how to respond to it; I felt awkward. I was only getting one side of the story and I had a feeling there was a lot more to it than that. “Maybe he did care enough that he knew that the breakup was going to hurt you. Maybe he did it because it would be too hard to do over the phone.”

She looked over at me and smiled, just a little bit, at my clumsy attempt to try to cheer her up. “I’ve thought of that too. I know his parents were pressuring him to find a Catholic wife. Maybe it was easier to give into them when I wasn’t there anymore.” She put the book down. “But knowing that it’s over, it’s easier on my heart to just pretend that he was a heartless bastard who just wanted to tell all his friends he scored with the blonde chick.”

Something about the way she’d said the last line made me smile also. Back to resilient Dawn, the tough girl of Palo City. “Whatever helps get you through the day, right?” I joked.

“Right,” she agreed, smiling fully. She looked at her watch. “Aren’t you supposed to meet Byron soon? Don’t be late for your own date on account of my sob story, now.” With that, she picked up the book and opened it about half way through.

I took the hint and headed to the door.

***

I ran into Haley before I saw Byron. She was running a sweeper across one of the floor mats in such a way that I could tell her mind was somewhere else. She looked fairly miserable. It was the first time since we’d left Maine that I’d ever seen her without any make up.

To be honest, I hadn’t been surprised when By told me about Haley and Jordan. I’d been even less surprised about it than he’d been. But I’d seen it coming: she’d decided to let him go because it was easier to be mad at herself for pushing him away than to be mad at him for leaving her. But obviously, that hadn’t made her feel any better about the situation. She saw me coming and she tried to smile, but it was the most pathetic attempt I’d ever seen. Haley is really pitiful when she’s depressed.

I thought I might try to cheer her up by repeating an old joke of her and By’s. “Is it just me, or is this where bad music goes to die?” I asked. She stopped sweeping and turned to me darkly. She tried the smile again, but only one corner of her mouth turned up briefly before returning to neutral. I grabbed her into a one-armed hug. “Hey, Hay,” I said, smiling internally over how that sounded. “It’s going to get better. Trust me on this one.”

She hugged me back with both arms for a moment. “I don’t know about that,” she said softly. Then she turned around and went back to cleaning the carpets.

Byron wasn’t scheduled to be off for another ten minutes or so. I didn’t want to keep him from his work—he was working with Helen and she hates when the employees have personal conversations on work time. Instead I wandered over to the candy bins and chose a couple items. I figured I’d have an excuse to talk to him if I was purchasing something. I headed up towards customer service because he clearly wasn’t at the open register.

I spotted Helen before I got to the counter, running from the bathroom to the registers. “Jeff,” she said, her tone suspicious. “Didn’t you put in your notice? What are you doing here? If you came to pick up your last pay check, you’ll have to wait until Friday, same as everyone else.”

I sighed and stifled an eye roll. “Nope. I’m here as a shopper.” I held out my chocolate for her inspection.

She eyed it, and me, critically, but didn’t say anything before she turned away from me. She spotted Haley cleaning another carpet in front of the registers. “Hay, what are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be back in china helping with the transfer?”

Hay bit her lip; she was clearly not in the mood to deal with Helen today. “They said there were too many people working on that today. I was asked to sweep the floor mats until they needed me or until it’s five,” she said meekly, not looking at Helen, but instead at her own feet.

Helen didn’t appear to believe her, but she waved it away with a single hand gesture. “Never mind that. Someone’s made a mess of one of the toilets in the ladies’ room. I need you to get some gloves and the cleaner and deal with it.”

Now Haley looked panicked. “I’m sorry, Helen,” she said, knowing this was not going to go well, “but I can’t clean the toilets. I’m allergic to the cleaner.”

I know Helen remembered the time a couple weeks ago when Haley had an anaphylactic reaction to the toilet cleaner. One of the other managers had been ready to call 911 and have her carted off to the hospital, but Haley had managed to get breathing again before that had to happen. The rest of the management had pretty much banned her from even going near the cleaning supplies since then.

But Helen wasn’t having any part of that. She looked livid that Haley had even dared to disagree with her, and she raised her voice to get the point across. “That’s nonsense. You’re just trying to get out of doing your job. Stop being lazy and get to work. I need you to get it done now. If those toilets aren’t cleaned by the time you leave, I’m going to write you up.”

Haley’s not usually one for tears in the work place, but with her already low mood and the threat of a write up, she looked like they weren’t far away. It didn’t help that several customers had overheard the exchange and were all staring at the two of them. I stiffened, ready to jump in on her behalf, but another voice piped up first. “Helen,” he said quietly. I hadn’t heard Byron come up, but he was now standing between Helen and the counter, a few feet from us. His face was set and stern, but his voice was low and steady. “I don’t want to overstep my bounds, but I don’t think this is appropriate. Hay is allergic to the toilet cleaner, so you’ve asked her to do something she cannot do. She is not being lazy or trying to get out of her job responsibilities.” Helen whirled around upon him, but before she could say anything, he continued. “Even if she were, I don’t believe this is an appropriate conversation to have on the sales floor, with customers and other employees listening.”

Helen obviously couldn’t believe that By had dared to speak up. I almost couldn’t believe it either; he wasn’t exactly the type to defy an authority figure, even one as uneven and unfair as Helen was being. But there was something else I was thinking about. It was the way he had done it: he’d stayed calm and he’d stated the facts. Even though it wasn’t his intention, he’d basically made Helen look foolish because he’d been able to be more mature about the situation than she was being. “Byron. Go back to the customer service counter and sort the returns. Leave me and your girlfriend to have our conversation.”

Byron raised his eyebrows but not his voice. “Hay is not my girlfriend, as you’re well aware.” He looked over briefly at me and I smiled encouragingly at him. “However, she is my best friend. And even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t just stand by and let you speak to her like that.”

Most of the customers had moved on by that point, but one or two were still standing around. Helen opened her mouth to speak, but before she had a chance, an office door opened between the front door and the customer service counter, and a man stepped out. “Byron? Hay? Can I speak to you for a moment?” Jason the store manager said from the door to his office. I stepped away from the group of people and up to the registers to pay for my purchase. “Helen, do me a favor,” he continued. “Get Tanya to clean the bathroom.”

I walked up to the open register, where one of the cashiers, Morgan, was working. She looked at me with wild eyes. “What the hell was that all about?” she asked me quietly as she rang through the Heath bars.

I shook my head at her. “The culmination of three years of friendship,” I said. Morgan stared at me and I just shook my head again. “Never mind. It’s hard to explain.”

It was five-ten before the three of them emerged from the manager’s office. I leaned against the wall next to the exit door as Jason shook By’s hand. “Thanks for all your hard work this summer. If you’re in town again next summer, call us and we’ll definitely find you a spot.” He turned to Haley. “So, Hay, come in tomorrow about one and we’ll start your training. I think this is going to work out to everyone’s benefit.” She was looking a little less upset, and she managed a smile at him. “You two go ahead and clock out. Helen,” he called, seeing her about to head behind them to the back of the store, “Can I talk to you next?”

Byron and Haley took a little longer than normal getting back up front. Seems a couple of people had overheard part of the conversation and wanted to know details. They hadn’t really done any gossiping, but it had taken a while to extricate themselves from the situation. I was still leaning by the doors when they came out. Byron had his arm around Haley and he gave her a squeeze. “I told you everything was going to be okay,” he said.

She looked like she’d been crying, probably just a few tears, but tears nonetheless. I wordlessly handed her one of the Heath bars. “What’s this for?” she asked as she wiped the other hand across her eye.

I shrugged at her. “No real reason. Just thought you could use it. Chocolate’s supposed to solve everything for girls, isn’t it?”

Hay laughed, looking almost happy, however briefly. “You’re something else, Jeff,” she said. By let her go and she gave me a tight squeeze. “I’ll miss you. Be good,” she told me as she let go.

“Never,” I said. She gave one last little smile and then dug her car keys out of her pocket. She waved to me with the hand holding the chocolate bar and then headed out to the parking lot.

I turned to Byron, who smiled at me. I grabbed him into a big hug also, and capped it off with a kiss on the lips. “What was that for?” he asked, his cheeks turning a little pink. He’d long since come to expect surprises out of me and as such, he didn’t generally blush as much as he had when we’d first started out.

I looked around. We were standing on camera by the entrance door, and Morgan, who was between customers, was smirking at us, but I really didn’t care. “Do you have any idea what you just did there?” I asked him.

He looked at me sideways. “No,” he said slowly, trying to figure out what I meant. “But whatever it was, obviously it was sort of a turn on for you,” he added quietly.

I laughed. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that, even in a whisper, in a public place. “A big one,” I agreed. I waved goodbye to Morgan, who waved back at the two of us, and then I took By’s hand in mine. “Let’s get out of here,” I suggested.

***

I didn’t get a chance to talk to Byron about what had happened with Helen until later in the evening. We didn’t head back toward Stoneybrook but rather I drove until we got to a restaurant in Stamford. Just one look at the place from the outside and you could tell it was fancy—and expensive. “Jeff…” By began as he took a look around at the internal décor.

I cut him off. “Not a worry. You are totally worth it. Anyway, what am I going to do with my money once I get back home to California? I’d rather spend it on you than waste it on crap with the gooneys back there. C’mon.”

I’d warned him to dress up, and we were both wearing ties. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be a dress code. Despite that, no one seemed really thrilled to see us. I never did figure out whether it was our age or that we were two guys holding hands. We were quickly escorted to our reserved table.

We were both a little ill at ease. Byron seemed nervous—he was fidgeting with his hands— but I was just a little bit ticked off. The host had seated us without comment, slapping our menus down on the table. I wasn’t really upset that he didn’t tell us about the wine selection like he did everyone else, but I would have liked to hear what the specials of the day were. Even though I had my fake ID with me, I wasn’t planning on drinking. It wasn’t really Byron’s thing, not to mention the fact that I had to drive us back home. I actually hadn’t had a drink all summer. I wasn’t an alcoholic or anything, but that had to be some kind of record for me since I’d had my first drink at fourteen.

The two of us sat there looking at each other for a moment, not sure where to begin. Despite all the time we’d spent together, we didn’t go out to ‘real’ restaurants like this very often. I reached across the table and took his hand, which he’d been tapping anxiously onto the table repeatedly. I don’t even think he was aware he was doing it. He relaxed a little and smiled at me. He even started talking. “Haley seemed like she was feeling a little better today,” he commented.

I tipped my head to one side, looking him over closely. Sure, I had photos of him, but I wanted to remember every little bit of his face—every little gesture and expression. It was four months until I could come back to Connecticut…if I could even make it then. “Sure, if you consider the fact that she only cried a couple tears today an improvement.”

“Sadly,” he said with a shake of his head, “it actually is. For someone who essentially pushed Jordan out of her life, she’s taking the fact that he’s gone extremely hard.” I nodded sympathetically. “Yesterday, she cried the whole way to work…while she was driving.”

I picked up my menu and he did the same. By looked it over for a moment and then looked at me over the top. “Interesting menu,” he said. “Where did you hear about this place?”

I was drooling over a couple of the options. “It’s where Mom and Richard go every year for their anniversary because they both find things they like. I thought it was appropriate.”

He smiled, looking a little sad behind the happy expression. “It’s not an anniversary for us…is it?” he asked quietly.

“Not that I’m aware of,” I said. I decided on an order and put the menu down. He looked at me questioningly. “I’m not much of one for celebrating three month or five month anniversaries. It’s kind of silly.” Byron was still holding the menu upright, but he wasn’t looking at it. His eyes were focused exclusively on mine. “I guess I’m just hoping this is a first that we could celebrate an anniversary for in a year.”

He lit up. “I love the way that sounds.” I had to grin back at him; it was the first time he’d seemed really enthusiastic all evening.

We ordered and then he was back to drumming his hand on the table. I couldn’t figure out what was bothering him. I watched his knuckles as he nervously twitched. After a moment, I caught his hand under mine. He looked startled and I grinned at him. “What’s bugging you?” I asked.

He looked away for a moment and I could tell he didn’t want to answer that. I changed topics, hoping to ferret it out of him later. “How’s the packing going?”

Byron looked relieved. “Not too bad. Almost done, in fact. Actually, I’ve packed so much that I have to keep unpacking things I need that I thought I was done with.”

I laughed. “I’ve done that before.” He actually managed a smile. “How about Adam?”

It was his turn to chuckle. “He hasn’t started packing yet. He seems to be putting it off to the last second. He hasn’t said it, but I think the sight of his room emptying out is upsetting him. He’s been quieter and less social ever since Jordan left.”

I could understand that. It’s hard leaving your best friend…or watching him leave you. “And what about Jordan? How’s the freedom treating him?”

I had meant the freedom of college life, but that’s not how By took it. “I think he’s taking things even harder than Hay is,” he said after a moment’s pause. “I can’t be sure, because I’ve only heard from him by email, but she’s all that he wants to talk about. He’s asking how she’s doing, but I can’t bring myself to lie about it…or tell the truth.”

Something about his tone made me pause. I was still gripping his hand and I squeezed it. “Why is Hay and Jordan’s breakup bothering you so much?” I asked.

I could tell I’d hit the nail on the head by the way he broke eye contact. “I just hate seeing them both hurt so bad. Especially because their pain is just because they’re both being stubborn and prideful.”

I leaned over to him, still not letting go of his hand. “I think there’s more to it than that. You’ve never said so, but I’m certain you constantly draw parallels between our relationship and theirs.” By finally looked at me again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you even had Venn diagrams in your head.”

I’d been hoping to make him smile. Instead, he stared at me for a moment, completely seriously, and said, “It completely amazes me the way you can read my mind.”

“I love you. I want to be able to read your mind.”

He grimaced for a moment. “I can’t even come close to understanding you the way you get me.”

I couldn’t believe he said that. “You understand me better than you think. You dig deep, By, and that’s why I get so frustrated sometimes.” I ran one hand across his jaw. “Besides,” I joked, “My mind is rather unfathomable.”

He pulled his hand away from mine with a sigh. “I guess I really am transparent, then,” he said, sounding sad and a little frustrated.

“Transparent?” I was confused. “What makes you think you’re transparent?”

Byron looked away for a moment before turning his attention back to me. “It’s what Hay said to me when she told me she knew I was gay.” I wasn’t sure why being easy to read was an insult to him, but obviously he took it that way.

I didn’t want to belittle or wave away his concerns, but I needed to point out something. “That’s Haley, though. She’s your best friend. Her being able to read you doesn’t mean you’re transparent.”

He didn’t seem comforted by that. “Well, what about the fact that some of my family members knew I was gay before I ever told them? Mom, Margo…I think Dad might have suspected, too.” He didn’t give me a chance to reply. “Even that idiot Dan knew.”

“Dan?” I repeated. “Wasn’t he the one that wrote things about you in the bathrooms?” By nodded. “From what you’ve said, he called half the school gay. You think he’s right even a fraction of the time? Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day.” I smiled gently at him and took his hand again. “Imagine we were at Pizza Express right now. If I wasn’t holding your hand, do you think anyone would know we were on a date?”

By bowed his head for a moment, but then he looked back at me. “How do you always know exactly what to say?” he asked.

“It’s a gift,” I joked, and he actually smiled.

***

Our food was served shortly thereafter. It wasn’t until we were nearly done eating that I brought up the afternoon’s events. “What happened with you and Hay and Jason earlier?” I asked.

He perked up; before that he’d been ready to fall into a food coma. “He wanted to know about the various run-ins we’ve had with Helen throughout the summer. After we told him just about everything—I left out the time she caught us in the parking lot—he let us in on a secret.” I raised my eyebrows. “He said they’d gotten numerous complaints about her from the staff and the customers. Because of it, she’s getting transferred to another store…and demoted.”

“Whoa,” I said. That was actually pretty serious. “So what was this training Haley’s going to be doing?”

Byron smiled more fully. “They’re not promoting anyone to replace Helen. Instead, Jason’s going to train a couple people to do various parts of her job. He wants Hay to be one of two closing supervisors on the front end, to count money and supervise the cashiers. There aren’t enough brides for the number of the consultants most of the time and that’s why she usually ends up wrapping gifts or cleaning random stuff. Jason says that’s squandering Hay’s talents, and I agree.”

Our plates were cleared right about then. I looked at him as he carefully placed his napkin to his lips one last time before he relinquished it. I finally got a chance to say what had been on my mind all evening. “Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?” I asked.

He froze for a moment, as if checking for sarcasm. “For what?”

“For the way you stood up to Helen.”

By looked embarrassed. “What was so great about that?” he wanted to know.

I answered his question with a question. “How often through the past three years has Hay fought your battles for you? Done something like, I don’t know…punch your brother in his face on your behalf?”

He grinned at the memory, but the grin faded as he remembered where Hay and Jordan stood now. “All the time,” he admitted.

I carried on. “And how often have you stood up for her?” His face sagged, but I didn’t let him speak to the negative. “In the past, that’s the way it needed to be. She spoke up for you, and you supported her. But this time, she needed you to stand up for her and you stepped right out of your comfort zone.”

He looked distinctly uncomfortable. “I still don’t get it,” he said. They brought the check and I snatched it before he could even look at it. By got distracted from his confusion and gave me a stern look. “You know the deal,” he said. “You pay, I leave the tip. I pay, you leave the tip.”

I shook my head at him. “Not tonight. This is completely on me. You can do the same next time we see each other.” I tucked a sum of money in with the bill and set it on the table, covering it with one hand so he couldn’t grab it and try to put money in it. “Let me finish complimenting you, okay? I know you don’t get what’s so awesome about what you did. You never see your finest points, you know that? Only the downsides to everything you do.” He nodded his agreement to that, however tentatively. “You’re probably looking at this thing with Helen as ‘Oh no, I told off my boss.’ But I’m seeing it as you stood in front of Hay when she needed you to, and you were calm and mature. You were way more of an adult than Helen was, that’s for sure.”

Byron had ducked his head again during the conversation. “Why don’t I see myself the way you see me?” he asked, still looking away.

I grinned and took his jaw in my hand again, pulling his face back up so he was looking at me. “We never do see ourselves the way others see us.” He locked his gaze into mine. “Tell me, Byron. How do you see me?”

He thought for a moment, pulling his words together. “You make me want to go out and live life, instead of hiding from it. You’re braver than I could ever be—facing your problems head on.” He leaned in toward me. “I love that about you, Jeff.”

“And I love that you make me stop and think twice about stuff. My dad’s favorite word for me is reckless, and I know sometimes I act and speak first and then think later. You’re more careful and that makes me want to be more careful.”

By’s eyes were shining again, but he looked a little playful. “This is really sappy, you know that?” he said.

I laughed heartily. “Yeah. I never thought I’d want to be sappy. But I also never thought this,” I gestured to him and then the table as a whole, “would happen. Remember back in Maine when I said sometimes the best things in life were surprises? Well, you’ve been the best surprise of all.”

I stood up and offered him my hands. He stood up before he took them both. “You really think we’ll survive the time and distance this year?” he asked, going back to his old fear that I hadn’t completely squashed.

I nodded. “Yes. I’m completely certain of it. I love you, you love me, but more than that…I don’t think there’s anyone out there who could complement me better than you do.”

Bryon smiled. “Kinda like soul mates,” he said. I nodded a second time and squeezed both his hands before I let him go. “I guess it’s not a worry, then, huh?”

I shook my head. “I know you. You’ll find enough things to worry about this year. My love shouldn’t be one of them.”

He took one hand again and started walking to the exit. When we were outside, he stopped and pulled my arm, dragging me closer to him. I put my hands on his waist. “Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“For dinner. For this summer. For everything.”

I drew him closer. “This is just the start, By. This is just the start.”